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#my inbox is always open to people needing a friend
junicai · 2 years
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in light of all the happenings occurring in the usa atm, i'd like to remind my followers that i am PRO-CHOICE, and i am horrified at the overturning of roevwade.
if you are pro-life, please kindly take yourself elsewhere. your misogynistic views are not welcome here. i am in full support of women and people with uteruses having Complete Bodily Autonomy and the second roevwade was overturned, they were reduced to something less than.
these are terrifying times, traumatic times, and this will not be the end. women's rights are under attack.
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thirteenemeraldcats · 24 days
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So what are working on now? 👀
Can I tempt you to share with any roses 🌹 🌹🌹?
I CAN ALWAYS BE TEMPTED, I HAVE POOR SELF CONTROL!
An extended snip from the spoils of yesterday's sprints :)
Jamie’s good at following instructions. Roy tells him to jump, he jumps. Roy tells him to run suicide sprints until he pukes, he runs (he pukes). Roy tells him to stay still so Roy can tie him to a bike and use him as a mush-dog for a morning, he does.  (Roy wasn’t expecting that last one to work if he’s being honest. It was only once he’d watched Jamie wrap the rope around his own waist, then blink at him in earnest expectation while he stood frozen in bemused perplexity, did he realise the depth of the hole he’d dug.) So Roy had thought that following the simple instructions of, oh say, a recipe book, would be well within the little prick’s range of ability.  Jokes on him. “You measure the chocolate chips with your heart man.” Roy has his hand locked around Jamie’s forearm, forcefully preventing him from emptying the entire bag into the mixer. He knows that if Jamie actually wanted to break his grip he could do so with ease, so it says something about his higher-order thinking that he just pouts at Roy instead. “No, Muppet, you measure them with a fucking measuring cup. It’s right there in the name and all.”
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hangmanssunnies · 6 months
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Summary: After a failed Tinder date, you go to hang out with your friend Jake "Hangman" Seresin. When you get to his house, you unexpectedly find him with a baby, and it is a sight that rewires something in your head. Jake needs a baby of his own. Right now — like yesterday, actually. And that is a task you would be more than willing to help with; now, you just need to find the courage to bring it up.
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Pairings: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader
Word count: 9k
AO3 Link
Warnings: 18+ Only, Friends to lovers, baby fever, smut, P in V, Oral, Hangman with a baby (deserves its own warning)
Author's note: The attorneys at work keep bringing their babies in and letting me hold them, and @top-hhun has done absolutely nothing to discourage the subsequent baby fever I've been dealing with. Anyways, that's where this fic came from. I hope you enjoy this. My inbox is always open if you want to let me know your thoughts. Reblogs with your thoughts, opinions, and tags are gold to me. I love reading through them.
You had become friends with Jake unexpectedly some years ago, hitting it off at your mutual friend's wedding. Part of you had, of course, hoped the attractive blonde aviator would be interested in you, maybe in a romantic sense, but it never came to fruition. He shipped out the week after the wedding, but the easy rapport you carried with him started with sharing jokes about how trashed other people got at the reception, and eventually developing into a true and close friendship. 
It was for the best because the more you got to know Jake, it became clear to you that he didn't want the same things that you did. He was focused on his career and didn't have time for a partner. When he did talk about settling down, it was never in an authentic way, more joking that he was waiting to swoop in if Coyote's marriage fell apart or that his Mama would set him up with a nice southern belle who wanted to give her twelve grandkids. Jake would claim he was too busy for a relationship, away from home too much to be steady. However, none of that seemed to stop him from finding time for you, which is probably why you hadn't been able to completely repress your feelings for him despite some valiant efforts. 
Just today, after a failed lunch date with someone from Tinder, you texted Jake disheartened. He hadn't hesitated first to ask if you were okay and then invited you over for dinner to tell him all about it. He had even promised to cook you whatever you wanted. A special treat guaranteed to make you feel better, considering Jake's superb culinary skills. 
You walk into Jake's house without knocking or ringing the bell, knowing he left the door unlocked in anticipation of your arrival. After securing the front door's lock into place, you toe off your shoes, making sure to set them neatly in line with the others there. Jake's home is clean and tidy, just like it always is; the organization of the entry is no exception. You know from the smells and sounds wafting towards you that he must still be cooking, which is odd because he's almost always done by the time you show up. 
Venturing further into the house you see him, standing in the kitchen, with a baby strapped to his chest. It's an unexpected sight, and you're frozen by it. Jake's in a casual white teeshirt, jeans, and a dark navy blue sling with a camo pattern wrapped tightly around him, securing a tiny infant in place against his broad chest. His hair is fluffy like it often is on his days off, and the golden strands fall across his forehead. Seeing it like this always creates an instinctual desire to run your fingers through it. However, you can hardly even process that thought because you're so distracted by the bundle on his chest. Music is playing on his record player, and he is humming along. 
Jake suddenly stops the humming, and the prep he is doing, looking down at the baby. After a pause, a smile pulls at the edges of his lips, his eyes crinkle before he drops a kiss on the infant's head. And it's like everything is right. Jake with a baby seems so natural. The fact that he exists any other way than with a baby in his arms every day feels wrong. Your heart starts beating harder in your chest, and a thought pops into your head, instantly taking deep root: Jake needs a baby of his own. Right now — like yesterday, actually. 
You don't know what sound you must have made, but Jake looks up and finally notices you standing in the hallway. He doesn't appear at all startled as a wide grin spreads across his face as he greets you, "Howdy there, Doll!"  
"You have a baby," you say stupidly in an entirely delayed response. 
"Yeah, this little guy is Jackson. Coyote and the Mrs wanted a date day, so I offered to watch the baby for them. They were supposed to be here two hours ago to pick him up, but I'm sure they just got caught up." Jake laughs and presses another kiss to Jackson's head. Before continuing on, "I hope you don't mind."
"No, I don't mind," you manage to breathe out, unable to tear your eyes off Jake or even pretend you're not staring. He quirks an eyebrow at you but otherwise doesn't comment. After he gestures for you to join him, he returns to the cutting board in front of him. You are transfixed; when you sit down at the bar in the kitchen, it occurs to you that you should probably say something and not just stare like an idiot. "Do you want me to take him?"
"I think he is just fine here," Jake says, examining the sleeping baby strapped to his chest again. Jackson has hardly moved since you showed up, clearly passed out, not disturbed by the music or any of the kitchen sounds. 
"At least let me help finish cooking then?" You request. 
"No, Ma'am. Bubba and I have this dinner taken care of. I did pick up that wine you like from the store. Maybe you can open it up for us?" 
Entering the kitchen, you pull out two wine glasses from a cabinet. Opening the fridge you see your preferred wine stocked, as well as a few of your other favorite drinks stored there. Warmth blooms in your chest that Jake picked up things for you when he was at the store last. It was touching that he would take care to buy something he would never touch but getting it anyway just to have beverages you prefer on hand. After pouring the wine, you set one glass next to Jake's cutting board, making sure it's in easy reach for him. 
"Thank you," he says appreciatively. You sigh and lean against him, pressing your face into the bicep of his arm, careful not to disturb Jackson or the sling as you do. Closing your eyes, you breathe him in, looking for the subtle cedar scent of his cologne to soothe you. However, only a hint of it tickles your nose, the cedar not as strong as it usually is. Today, Jake smells more like clean laundry and his natural musk than anything else. You are surprised to find it still does the trick in helping settle your nerves, though. Jake hums but doesn't protest your closeness, instead asking, "Long day?" 
You don't answer with words, just humming noncommittally against his arm. You leave your face pressed there for a moment longer. "Not enough wine to talk about it yet," you eventually say into his arm before pulling away. Settling on the other side of the counter again, you take a long drink of the wine you poured. Deciding to admire Jake again, you ask, "How was your day?"
"It was pretty good. Javy dropped Jackson off this morning. We had tummy time, went on a walk, and to the grocery store to get things for dinner. Then we got a little cranky, so we rocked in the lazy boy for a while." You took a moment to picture Jake doing these activities and can't decide which is most swoon worthy. Jake is always swoon worthy, of course, but knowing that he was caring for a baby while doing it feels like an extra kick to the stomach or maybe ovaries. 
"And?" You ask him, taking another drink of your wine and pillowing your face on your palm. 
"And what?" Jake asks. 
"What else did you and Jackson do today? I want to hear every detail." 
Jake gives into your request easily. Starting his description of the day over, he tells you how even though he has babysat before, the Machados were still anxious to leave Jackson alone here when they dropped him off that morning. Jake told you about tummy time, which toys they liked and which were uninteresting. How long their walk was, and what they saw. He told you about the old woman who fawned over them in the store and how they helped her with getting her groceries to the car. It was endearing that Jake used the first person plural 'we' as if he and Jackson were a team with equal agency in their day's activities. It was especially cute when Jake told you about the tantrum they had thrown earlier in the afternoon as if he had been crying right along with his godson. 
Just as dinner was finished and you were setting the table, Jackson woke up and started to get fussy. Jake cooed to the baby affectionately, leaving to the guest room, where Javy had stuffed almost a car full of supplies for Jake to watch Jackson. Some of the just-in-case supplies included toys and clothes Jackson wouldn't even be able to use until he was at least a year old.  
When Jake comes back, both he and Jackson are wearing different clothes. Jake is in a soft green shirt and sweats, while Jackson is now wearing a giraffe onesie. He has the baby propped on his hip and doesn't offer you any explanation aside from that they had an accident. Then he sees that you have plated and set everything for dinner at the dining room table, and he offers a soft thank you. 
You watch as he balances Jackson on his hip and starts following the written out directions for making a bottle that's taped to his fridge. Jake isn't someone who struggles, and you know that this is something that he is fully capable of doing, but you also can't help but think that it would be easier for him if he had two free hands. So, you gently pull Jackson from his arms and into your own instead. 
The baby blinks up at you, his eyes still soft and sleepy. He babbles a bit of nonsense but otherwise makes no protest at you. Jackson has the same brown eyes and skin tone as his father. Even with his chubby cheeks, you can tell that the little boy is going to be Coyote's mini-me. The similarities in their appearance are so close it's like the universe had just hit copy and paste. 
He is so cute you can't stop the grin that stretches across your lips when Jackson snuggles into you. One of his hands starts grabbing at your shirt's fabric while he absently gnaws at his other one. The little boy completely steals your attention as you walk around the living room and dining room with him. Asking him how he feels about his day with his Uncle Jake, pausing for his babbling like they were real answers. Jake comes up behind you several minutes later, setting a steady hand on the small of your back.
 "Here, let me take him," Jake mutters practically in your ear while reaching for Jackson. 
"No," you protest, turning away from Jake's reach. "You've had him all day. I've only gotten to hold him for a few minutes." 
"Now, darling," Jake drawls. 
"Don't darling me."
"Doll," He says 
"Don't Doll me either." You snap, though the aggression of it is completely manufactured. 
"Fine, fine," Jake says, holding his hands up. "You can have him for a few more minutes, but then it's my turn again."  
"How is that fair?" 
"It's fair because he is my godson." 
You pout at Jake, and he pouts back." I can't believe you're going to be a baby hog like this. Don't you know sharing is caring?" 
"Jackson isn't a rental car, sweetheart. Can't just hand him out to anybody."
"So what? You don't trust me with him?" 
"No," Jake says, suddenly dropping all of his dry, teasing tone. "Of course, I trust you with him. Of course, I trust you."
Jake steps closer when he says this, crowding a bit into your personal space. His sea glass green eyes hold you in place, and you don't think you imagine that they flick downwards, that he has his sights set on your lips, that Jake could be considering kissing you. However, a breath later, he is swooping Jackson out of your arms and into his own, quickly back peddling. 
"You can have the baby back after I feed him, okay? I don't want to risk him throwing up on that pretty blouse you've got on." 
"Kidnaper! Baby Snatcher!" You half gasp, half yell, and start to chase after Jake as he runs away, holding Jackson close and carefully but still managing to evade you.  
You're both laughing, and Jackson has started joyfully screeching as well when the doorbell rings, startling all three of you. Jake hands Jackson to you wordlessly before going to check who's at the door. It only takes a minute for him to come back with Coyote in tow. Who immediately rushes to sweep his baby from your arms and press kisses all over his cherub face. 
After Javy examined his son to ensure nothing was out of sorts, he handed Jackson back to you to hold while he and Jake packed up all of his stuff and moved the car seat. This was only after he made a sly comment about how good you looked with a baby in your arms, though. 
When you are alone with Jackson again, you take a moment to admire yourself in the mirror hanging on the wall. It wasn't such a hard thing for you to imagine holding a baby, and it looking normal, like something right, especially when you start to picture one with Jake's features or one that would take more after you, possibly even some sweet mix. The feeling of casual want that started from seeing Jake when you first arrived suddenly twists into an unexpected ache and intense need. 
You expect it to let up, but it doesn't. Rather, the feeling smolders in you, burning hotter and hotter until it feels slightly consuming. Seeing Jake hug and kiss Jackson goodbye, promising they would spend another day together soon, nearly does you in. Heating your feelings from a low simmer to a roaring boil. 
When you and Jake finally sit down to actually have dinner, it gets a little hotter with every sip of wine you take. Every time that Jake smiles and his eyes crinkle around the edges, the way he asks about your failed date with the perfect mix of sympathy and care, even the way he reheated dinner, all adds to the fire. As Jake is starting to put away the leftovers from dinner, refusing to let you help, you can't keep it in anymore, and you boil over. 
"Jackson was so precious," you say, casually swirling the bit of drink you have left around in the glass.  
"Little mans is so fun. I love him. It's always a treat to babysit," 
"You were really great with him today." 
"Aw, thanks Doll. Now, what do you want to do with the rest of the night? Play a game, watch a movie? We can do anything you want."
"Anything I want?"
"Yes, ma'am," Jake says easily as he pops the lids of his pyrex container into place.  
"I want a baby." You say in a quick breath. You nearly slap your hand over your mouth in horror that had just jumped out of your mouth. You really haven't had enough wine to be this bold, but then again, maybe you were a little intoxicated on having seen Jake be so domestic. 
"What?" he asks with a laugh, probably thinking he misheard you. You grip the edge of the cool countertop trying to steady your nerves and prevent your hands from shaking. 
"Jake, I want a baby," you tell him more slowly, making sure each word comes out clearly. 
"No, you don't," he laughs, shaking his head. He starts tossing dirty dishes into the sudsy water of the sink and stacking up the food containers to put in the fridge. Jake turns away from you before saying, "I thought you've said you didn't want kids."
"It's complicated," you explain softly. "Are people not allowed to change their minds about things anymore?" 
"Oh, so are you debating or like —"
"I don't really know how to say this more clearly. I want to have a baby with you, Jake." 
He freezes. You see his shoulders tense, and he stares into the fridge for a long moment, slowly finishing storing the leftovers. When he closes the fridge, he still doesn't look at you immediately. 
"You want me to be the father of a child you have? You want to have my baby?" Jake asks you incredulously. You gulp, now feeling entirely too vulnerable to speak, so you just nod in agreement instead. Jake's eyes are piercing, and his body language is tense as he stands in front of the sink again. He heaves a heavy sigh, his lips flattening into a tight line. Then he scrubs his hands over his face before narrowing his eyes at you, "This is not a very funny joke." 
"It's not a joke, Jake. I want a baby, and I know you would be a good father." When Jake's demeanor still doesn't change, you continue on hurriedly. "I think we could do the whole platonic coparent thing easily enough. We get along so well, and we're already such good friends." 
There is a long pause where he does not say anything, turning on the sink, waiting for the water to heat, and sudsing up a scrub daddy sponge. Only once this task is started does he answer you in a very stoic, perfectly level tone, "No, I don't think I can do that. I can't just sleep with you."
"Oh, well. I see. Forget that I asked, please." You mutter, embarrassed but trying to not let the sting of rejection affect your tone. You knew that this could backfire, but you didn't think it would feel this bad. Feel like the pit of your stomach falling so low you are almost nauseous. 
"I'm sorry, Dolly." 
"It's okay, Jake, really. It's just the wine getting to me."
"Are you going to ask someone else?" 
"What?" 
"Are you going to ask someone else to give you a baby?" Jake asks in a gruff tone. 
You wouldn't actually, you wouldn't want one without Jake. In fact, this urge to have a child came from seeing him. However, you didn't know how else to play off your out-of-pocket request than to commit to the bit. Nonchalantly, you say, "Maybe." 
"I could help you find someone," he offers. 
"Please, Jake. It's okay you said no. You don't have to try and fix my situation."
He practically ignores you, asking, "What about Rooster?"
"I'm sure that I would have fun with the process," you say. Jake, who has focused himself with dedication on the dishes, looks up at you sharply. He quickly looks away again as you continue, "I'd be worried about having a baby that's born with a full mustache, though. So, no, thank you." 
"I'm sure Fritz would be happy to help you out." 
"No —"
"Harvard—" 
"No Hangman. Stop," You say much harder with emphasis, cutting him off and leaving no room for argument. 
"I tell you no for one thing, and suddenly I'm Hangman to you?"
"No, you're Hangman when you disregard the people around you, no matter what they say. You're Hangman when you decide something's a mission objective, and you refuse to let it go. This isn't your problem to fix or one to pawn off on one of your friends." 
"You made it my problem when you just asked me to give you a baby," Jake says, frustrated. Roughly scrubbing the dishes, rinsing, and setting them in the drying rack. 
"Well, the moment you said no, it's not your problem anymore. I'm absolving you of responsibility. It's my problem, and I will find someone for myself to put up with me, at least for a night." You joke, trying to lighten the mood again, not wanting to ruin the whole night from this mishap. Jake doesn't react more than his face darkening significantly, a deep frown pulling at his lips as he rinses the last dish and closes the dishwasher. 
"Put up with you?" He asks, his eyebrows knitting together. Jake reaches for a dish towel to dry off his hands, and you're momentarily distracted by the thick fingers and web of veins tracing up his arm. It's a better sight than meeting Jake's intense eyes, those eyes that can stare you down and leave no room for you to hide. 
"I mean, I know I'm a lot, but I think even I can get someone to fuck me once or twice. If I want and am very lucky, I'll only need one night. There are also other options, of course, like sperm banks and adoption. Let's just let it go. Okay?" When you don't get an immediate response, you glance at Jake once more. He is staring at you, but it's not a look you like. He's looking at you like you are a problem to be fixed, a puzzle to solve, an item to take off his to-do list. So you force a chuckle out and smile.  
"I don't think I want to. Actually, I can't let this conversation go." 
"We have to," you insist. 
"Why?"
"Because Jakers, it doesn't have anywhere else to go. I expressed a stupid desire without thinking. It was awkward, and that's okay. It doesn't have to stay that way, though. Now we laugh and forget it. There is no other option." 
"A lot. Put up with. Stupid desires," Jake scoffs the words as he rounds the kitchen island. He spins the bar stool chair you're sitting on by the back, turning you to face him. Then he sets his hands on the marble countertop on either side of you, effectively boxing you in. Even sitting on the tall bar stool, you have to tilt your head a bit to look up at him. When your eyes meet again, the green isn't as soft or kind as you're expecting. "I don't like how you're talking about yourself right now." 
"I'm just being honest. I'm taxing to deal with; people get tired of me. My past relationships have certainly taught me that I'm only desirable under the right conditions. And I am stupid. I just ruined our whole night because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. What kind of normal person asks one of their best friends to fuck a baby into them unprompted?"
"Oh wow, I'm not even sure where to start with all that." Jake breathes. You can't take seeing his furrowed brow and disappointed frown. So instead, you examine his right arm that's stretched by you, mapping out the moles and freckles there. "You've developed a warped sense of the truth, Doll."  
It's your turn to scoff and roll your eyes. When you do, the arm you've been studying shifts, and Jake cups your cheek. Gently, he urges your face to turn back towards his, and a calloused thumb sweeps across your cheekbone. "Listen to me good now. The things you want and desire they ain't stupid, and neither are you. You're not too much. You're just enough."
"Thank you, Jake." You whisper. And while his words are kind, you don't really believe them.  
"Don't say thank you."
"What else am I supposed to say?"
"Say you believe me and mean it," Jake urges you. 
"I don't want to lie to you. That's not who we are, that's not our friendship," You say. Jake's hand drops from your cheek, and he steps back quickly as if he's been burned. After you had been so surrounded by him, you nearly reach out to urge him close again. Running a hand through his hair, you can tell he's resisting the urge to pace. 
"Is that our friendship, one built on honesty?" 
"I thought so." 
"Then I've failed you, and I've failed us because it's not." 
"Jake, what are you talking about?" You ask him, confused. He shakes his head at you and doesn't respond, instead backing away further until he is abandoning you in the kitchen. Swiftly, you stand to follow him, "Where are you going?" 
"I'm leaving." 
"And going where? This is your house," you remind him. You've caught up to him in the doorway of his bedroom, where he's grabbing a hat and his wallet. "I'm sorry I ruined tonight, and I'll leave. You have to be honest with me before I do, though. I have to know we're going to be okay tomorrow." 
"I can't," Jake says tersely, not meeting your eyes and attempting to sidestep you in the doorway. 
"I was wrongly under the impression there wasn't anything you couldn't do, Hangman. But I guess we are finding a lot of things you just can't do tonight, aren't we?" You aren't expecting the little lash out of a taunt to get you anywhere. Jake is normally always calm, cool, and collected, acting with decisive precision. However, nearly as soon as you've finished speaking, Jake's hands are on your arms, and he backs you up until you gently hit the wall of the hallway across from his door. 
"You're asking for more self-restraint than I have, Doll." He warns roughly. The sudden movement doesn't make you back down like he was probably expecting. Instead, the rush makes you feel emboldened. 
"I don't care. I can accept you don't want a baby with me, that you don't want to fuck me. I can accept that you want to force me to talk, but I can't accept you making me question our friendship." 
"Oh god. You really don't understand. My honesty is not going to make this better," he warns. 
"Yes, I do. Whatever it is, please tell me. I can think of many things you could be referring to, like that I'm not attractive to you. How I would make a terrible mother. Maybe I'm not a good friend. Or you don't actually like spending time with me. Whatever it is, you have to tell me. I've never thought you would lie to me. So, I need to know, or it's going to drive me crazy." 
"There you are, all twisted up again," Jake sighs. 
"And whose fault is that?" You snap back. Jake still has you pressed against the wall, so you set your hands on his broad chest with the intention of pushing him away. However, he doesn't budge; in fact, he does the opposite, coming even closer so he is flush against you. You refuse to tilt your chin to look up at him as he looms, rather only lifting your eyes in a cold stare. "I shouldn't be surprised that you're going to leave me hanging to dry, but you could at least —"
You don't get to finish the thought because a hand has snaked to hold the side of your neck, thumb tucking under your chin, turning your face upwards to Jake's waiting lips. The first brush of his lips on yours doesn't line up quite right, but that doesn't stop your breath from catching. Shifting to get a better angle, Jake applies two more feather light kisses. Your hands, which are still resting on his chest, creep up, and you loop them around his shoulders, using the leverage to lift higher on your toes and get closer to him. 
This prompts him to deepen his next kiss, lips moving harder against yours. When you open your mouth wider in invitation, Jake's tongue traces along your bottom lip but doesn't dive in. You whine when Jake pulls away to take a breath. 
"Forgive me, Doll, I should've asked first." 
"Asked what?" You wonder, not moving your eyes away from his lips and strategizing how to get them back on yours. You think if you could just get a little higher, you would be able to kiss him without Jake needing to bend down so much. 
"May I kiss you?" He asks. 
"Yes, please." You answer immediately. You tug your hold on his shoulders, hoping it will urge him to get right back to it. Jake doesn't, though. His hand shifts from your neck to cup your cheek again, his other leaving the wall to settle on your waist. 
"Can I touch you?"
"Yes, Jake." His hand traces up your side from your waist and back down again in what is a soothing motion. It's too soft and delicate for what you want right now, though, so you tug on his neck again, pressing your chest into his. He gives in this time, molding his lips to yours once more. 
When his tongue meets yours, a low rumble emulates from Jake's chest, and the sound sends a new wave of arousal coursing through you. Reaching up, you push off Jake's hat, not caring where it falls, only that it's no longer in your way. When you thread your fingers into his hair, it's smooth and silky, providing no resistance when you tug it. 
"Tell me what you want, Doll," Jake says when your lips part again. 
"You. I want you," you whimper, tugging his hair again. A wide grin breaks across Jake's face, and his eyes crinkle around the edges. He tucks his face into your neck, and you can still feel him smiling. 
"What else do you want?" He questions. When his lips brush a spot that makes you stretch your neck to give him easier access, he nips it lightly. You stumble, coming up with a response, just sighing his name as he finds another spot to bite. "Come on now, you said it so pretty earlier. Tell me again."
Once his request processes through your lust filled brain, you push on Jake's shoulders once more. This time, he doesn't resist, backing away from you and creating some space between your heated bodies. Sagging against the wall, you try to catch your breath while examining Jake. His hair is disheveled now, some of it falling across his forehead. 
"You said no, you don't want that with me. You don't want this with me," You answer, finally dropping your gaze to examine the grain of the hardwood floor near your feet. Confusion at this sudden turn in attitude from him settles over you as your head clears. One of Jake's hands enters your field of vision, turned upwards in an offering. "Come sit, we need to set some things straight." 
Taking Jake's hand, he curls his fingers with yours and gently tugs you back through the doorway of his room. With his direction, you perch on the edge of his four poster bed. Jake presses a kiss to the back of your hand and lets it go to settle on the accent chair that's in the corner. 
"We'll be honest, right?" You say hesitantly, already missing the feeling of Jake's hand in yours. 
"Yes. I'll be honest." Jake answers reassuringly before continuing, "From the beginning, I never wanted to be friends with you. 
"You didn't?" 
"Nope," he says, popping the p. "I never wanted to be friends, and then once we were friends, I was stuck. You didn't seem to want the same things as I did, and I'm not the kind of man to complain about the friend zone."
"I haven't friend you zoned you," you say, scandalized at the suggestion. 
"Just earlier tonight, you asked me to have a baby with you, platonically," Jake deadpans. 
"Because I can't conceptualize you wanting me any other way." 
"I want you. I've always wanted you, but not platonically, baby." 
Baby. Jake was a casual sweet name user, there was doll, sweetheart, honey, darling, those all were commonplace, but baby was new. Hearing it makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. He called you baby, and he has wanted you. You could have had him from the start if your fears and insecurities hadn't held you back. 
"I'm sorry," you whisper. 
"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to need me, to love me," Jake explains with more hesitation than you've ever heard from him as if he is tip-toeing through this conversation. Worrying your fingers together, you have to take a calming breath to settle your own hesitation before answering him, "Well, that's easy because I do."  
A gleeful grin stretches across his face, and it's so bright you feel a matching one appear. He rubs a hand over his face, hiding it from view for a moment, and when you see his face again, he is still smiling. He looks as if he is trying to bite it back but can't quite manage. 
"Well, alright, a few more things we have to iron out then. I love spending time with you. You've never not been desirable to me." You can't help a disbelieving laugh when Jake says that, and the look he gives you is disapproving. "I mean that. I was thinking about it even the time I came over to bring you soup when you had the flu. Wanted to bundle you up and crawl into bed with you." 
"Oh, come on, that can't be true. I was so gross." 
"It is. I promised I would be honest, and I'm not going to be breaking any of the promises I make to you. Can you believe that?" 
You study his face, tracing over his nose, and jaw. He still has the hint of a grin that hasn't slid off his features yet, and he looks so very earnest. You can't imagine that Jake would be in the business of lying to you, and the openness he is offering makes it feel like you can believe him. That you can keep trusting him just like you always have. "I can believe that."
"Great. So, baby —" 
"Yes?" You say entirely too breathily before he can even finish the sentence. It was really a surprise how much hearing him say that already turned your brain to some form of liquid. 
"I want to sleep with you," Jake says plainly. 
"Then why are you all the way over there?" 
"I didn't want you to feel any sort of pressure while we were talking, and wasn't confident I could keep my hands to myself." 
Standing up from his bed, you walk steadily over to the chair Jake is sitting in. Crawling into his lap more confidently than you truly feel, his hands automatically slip around your waist, steading you against him. Holding eye contact with him, you say, "I don't want you to keep your hands to yourself." 
"Fuck, you're going to kill me," he sighs, tightening his hold on you. You go to kiss him again, but when you do, he blurts out, "I don't have any STDs or STIs." His cheeks stain a little pink, and he looks as surprised by the declaration as you are. 
"That's good to know. I'm clean too," you inform him. 
"Good to know. I just thought it was important to put it out there. Got to do safety checks first and everything. I don't want us to have any questions or be unsure about anything, and it's important to consider all the factors involved with —" Jake's rambling comes to a halt when you dip your face into his neck, kissing at the underside of his jaw softly. 
"Jake," you say, linking your arms around his neck and playing with the short hair there. "Will you give me a baby?" 
"Fuck, Doll. I promise to give you anything you want. The ring, the house, the baby. It's yours." 
You don't waste any time kissing him. When your lips meet, all the hesitancy and nervousness that Jake had while you were talking melts away. His mouth confidently teases yours open for his tongue to quickly follow. Your hands thread into Jake's hair again as his start to roam your back, sides, and arms. When you wiggle closer on his lap, he groans and grabbing a handful of your ass, lifting you up. Jake stands easily and walks you back to the bed. 
He doesn't drop you on the bed like you're expecting. Instead, he sets you down gently, one of his hands cradling the back of your head as he does. Laying on your back with Jake standing over you reminds you just how large and broad he is. 
With surprisingly little fanfare, he pulls off his shirt and tosses it to the side. Jake shirtless is not a new sight; in fact, it's a tantalizing one you've seen too often. He has every right to be proud of his body, you know how much time he dedicates at the gym. So it shouldn't be a surprise that, never one to be self conscious, Jake hardly could be found wearing a shirt if the situation didn't require it. However, you realize this is the first time that you don't just have to look but can also touch. 
Wanting to get the nervousness of undressing out of the way, you sit up, quickly discarding your shirt and tossing it aside. Before you can shimmy out of your bottoms, Jake's large hands are on your wrists, stopping you. 
"You're doing my job," he chastises huskily. Jake is slow and meticulous in removing your clothes, running his hands over all the skin that's exposed to him. When he pulls off your bra, leaving you only in your panties, he just sits back and stares for a moment. Such intense scrutiny from his gaze has you covering your chest, crossing your legs, and looking away. 
"I wasn't planning on sleeping with anyone tonight," you mutter, knowing that you don't have the sexiest underwear on and perhaps were not as physically prepared for this intimacy as you would like. 
"Good," he says lowly. "No one else is going to get to see you like this anymore." Grabbing an ankle in each big hand, he spreads you out for him. He slides off your panties so you're completely bare, and takes up his staring once more. "Ain't you fucking gorgeous?" Jake mutters and you realize he ain't talking about you necessarily; he's talking to your pussy. Whining his name gets Jake to shove off his sweatpants, leaving him in a pair of dark grey boxer briefs as he crawls over your body. 
As he kisses you again, your hands greedily explore his exposed skin. His chest hair proving to be much softer than you had imagined it, and his shoulders are taut as he holds himself up. While Jake's lips move with yours, you use a leg to encourage him to ease more of his weight into you, seeking friction. Kissing down your neck he lavishes attention to your breasts, licking and sucking his way across your skin. 
"You know, I was too busy to make dessert," he says when he reaches your core. One of his hands teasingly traces all around the skin. Placing a kiss on your inner thigh, he asks, "Do you mind filling in?" 
"Jake, you don't need to." You say, trying not to squirm when his fingers dip between your lips. 
"I want to. Do you not want me to?" 
"I know it's not everyone's thing," you answer, giving him an out. 
"It's my thing," Jake says. His eyes lock onto the cleft of you, and he licks his lip, biting at the bottom one. Reaching up, he grabs one of your hands and brings it up to his hair, encouraging you to thread your fingers there. His fingers that are teasing you spread you open more, and he groans, "Oh yeah you're my thing." 
Jake's tongue traces over you, probing until he finds the spot that makes your hips jump. Once Jake finds your clit he doesn't waste his time. Widening his mouth, he latches on and sucks. While he starts gently, he ramps up to sucking hard and twisting his tongue as he does. When you pull at his hair, he moans encouragingly.
"More," you request tugging his hair gently. Jake listens, sliding a finger into you. Whispering praise into your thighs about how pretty you are and how good you taste. You don't know how long Jake spends between your thighs, but he doesn't seem to be in any hurry. He sucks and licks, fucking his finger into you until the sound is sloppy and wet. He slips a second finger in, stretching you, occasionally scissoring them wider open in you. 
Even when you are whining and gasping, working against Jake's tongue, he doesn't let up. You don't have the mind to worry how you're trying to suffocate him with your thighs, which he keeps pushing back open with no complaints. All that you can focus on is Jake, how good he is making you feel, and how close you're getting. It's a matter of time until you're shuddering and falling apart for him.  
Continuing to lavish attention even as you jerk with sensitivity, Jake seems content to keep eating you out. You try to pull him away by his hair, but he just licks into you harder. "Jake, enough," you whine, trying to wiggle away from his mouth.
 "I haven't had my fill yet, Doll," he says, pulling his mouth off you but not going far, pressing wet kisses to your thighs. 
"I haven't even seen your cock yet, and I don't know why it isn't in me." You say, trying to reason with him. It doesn't come out very strong, though as Jake's fingers curl in you, making your cunt flutter. 
"Patience is a virtue," he teases.
"Being virtuous isn't really at the forefront of my mind at the moment."
Jake sighs dramatically and presses one more kiss to your pussy before sitting back on his haunches. You can see the hard outline of him in his briefs as he gets off the bed. You watch his every move closely, more than ready to finally see him naked.
However, Jake is clearly taking some sort of joy from making you wait, because he detours to start picking up your hastily thrown clothing. As he is laying them out on the chair, you lose your patience. Grabbing one of his decorative pillows, you throw it at him. It smacks him between his shoulder blades before dropping to the floor with a thunk. 
Spinning to face you, Jake crosses his arms over his chest, making his biceps bulge, his eyebrow raised. "Did you just hit me with a pillow?" 
"No, I wouldn't do that," You deny trying to look innocent. Jake tsks at you, picking up the makeshift weapon and setting that neatly on the chair as well. 
"Being desperate for my cock isn't an excuse to misbehave, baby." 
"Big talk for someone who still hasn't shown it to me. It's okay if you don't have a pretty dick, Jake. It won't change how I feel. I'm still going to want you to fuck me."  
Goading someone into action was a wonderful tactic you had learned over the course of your friendship with Jake. Something he easily did with others, and something tonight that it proved was just as effective against him because he doesn't even respond to your words. Sliding off his underwear, his dick springs free. He's hard from eating you out, and just from the first glance you get, it's clear there isn't one thing for him to be self-conscious about. 
The fleshy pink length is nestled among dark hair, and the size of him is nothing to dismiss. It's a very symmetrical cock, lining up nicely with his balls and adonis belt. Bouncing a bit as he gets back on the bed, you can't bring yourself to look away. You know he is going to fill you so deliciously. When he's finally close enough for you to touch, you hesitate though. 
"Speechless?" Jake wonders, with no ounce of shame or self-consciousness present. 
"Can I touch?" You ask. Jake nods, taking your hand and bringing it to your mouth. You suck a few of your fingers in, wetting them with your spit. Then he guides your hand to his dick, encouraging you to wrap it around him. Jake's hand covers yours for the first few strokes, showing you what he likes, but then it falls away, letting you explore. He grunts when you trace one of the veins that runs along the side, following it down to cup his balls. He allows your teasing for a few more strokes before he pulls you close, kissing you hard. 
The hard planes of Jake's naked body pressed against yours is nearly too much. He is so close and yet not close enough. With some gentle maneuvering, Jake is in between your legs and checking that the position is comfortable for you. Jake runs his length through your lips, the head bumping into your clit. Despite all the encouragement and build up, he's still not in a hurry. When his cock is wet from you, it starts to slide effortlessly. Losing your patience, you cup Jake's face, making him look you in the eyes. 
"Jake, fuck me now. Please." You say. He nods, kissing you slowly. Then finally, he grabs his cock lining himself up and pushing the tip into you. When his pelvis meets yours, he holds himself there, your breaths mingling together in light pants as he stretches you out. The time he gives you to stretch and adjust is necessary, but once you have, Jake fills you deliciously. 
"How're you feeling baby?" He asks. Your thumb moves across his cheekbone, soothing until the worry lines between his eyebrows disappear. Only responding when you know you're okay and so is he, "Perfect. Feel so full of you."
"I'll fill you up," Jake promises. 
"Yeah?" You ask. He hums his agreement and rocks his hips against your experimental, drawing a small gasp from you. 
"Promise," he says, starting a lazy punctuated rhythm, moving his hips against yours. Your hands explore the skin of his back as he thrusts into you. You hike a leg up on Jake's hips, letting him get a little deeper in you. The action makes him moan, and he pulls your other leg up around his hip, too. 
Hooking your ankles together, you use the leverage to encourage Jake to fuck into you faster. Digging your heels into his ass and lifting your hips up to meet each of his thrusts increases the heat boiling between you. His face falling into your neck, Jake starts whispering dirty praise about how good you feel around him and how long he's been dreaming about this. 
Stamina clearly isn't something that Jake is lacking in. He fucks you until you are both dripping with sweat, and you are begging for him noncoherently, unable to process anything but how good his cock feels. He maintains a steady rhythm, snapping his hips to meet yours the whole time. 
"You feel so good. Want to get you there again. What do you need?" Jake pants huskily. 
"Harder," you answer shakily, snaking your hand to play with your clit. You're close, and you know it's not going to take much more for you to get there with how long Jake's been building you up. He listens, slamming his hips more pointedly into you, grinding his pelvis every time he bottoms out. 
Huffing, Jake pulls out of you a few minutes later. Making you cry out wantonly, reaching for his retreating body. He takes a moment to kiss both your hands that he unhooks from his neck. Then, shushing you gently, he grabs a pillow and lifting your hips, he slides it under them.
"It's okay, just a little better angle." He explains to you. You flop back on the bed, content to have Jake manhandle you any which way he wants if it means he'll be in you again.  
"Oh, you're such a needy thing, aren't you?" He asks, as your cunt clenches around nothing, empty and wanting him. His fingers dipping in to play with the wet dripping from you. A flash of shame passes through you as he asks that. You drop your arms that had been reaching out for him back to the bed, and you screw your eyes shut, turning your face to the side looking away from him. 
Jake had already got you to cum once, and it was possible he didn't want you all over him as he was trying to get off now. Preferences were probably something y'all should have talked about more in depth before jumping into intimacy. You didn't want him to think you were overly needy or hard to please. You didn't want to ruin what you and Jake could have the very first time together. Noticing the shift in your enthusiasm Jake immediately stops pressing his cock into you, worriedly asking, "What's wrong?" 
"Nothing," you answer, staring up at the ceiling looking for patterns there. It's easier to play this off if you don't have to look at him; easier if you don't have to acknowledge the unexpected, unwelcome swell of emotion that's overcoming you. 
"Doll, look at me." He orders you, but you shake your head, refusing. Jake grips your chin, tilting your face to meet his eyes. They are intense studying you intently, completely focused on you. "The honesty we just promised each other needs to extend to sex nearly more than anywhere else going forward with this relationship," Jake says seriously. His hard dick is pressed against your thigh, and you don't know how he's able to have such a level-headed conversation considering the circumstances, just having been balls deep in you a minute ago. "So, what's wrong?" 
"I don't want to be too high maintenance or needy," You sigh, trying to work through your words. Knowing this conversation is important, but also not completely sure how to express what you're feeling. "Sometimes I might seem needy, or maybe I could take a while to cum or not at all, which wouldn't be a reflection of you. I don't want you to think, well, I don't want to be too much for you to change your mind about this, and now I'm ruining the mood with a dumb fucking insecurity."
"Stop," Jake says gently, but leaving no room for argument. "You haven't ruined anything. I'm sorry I called your pussy needy. I didn't know it would make you feel this way. Can I tell you something, though, Doll?" When you give a hesitant nod, Jake's voice drops so low it's nearly gravelly. "I want you to be needy. I want your pussy desperate for my cock, desperate for my cum. I want you as desperate for me as I am for you." 
"You're desperate for me too?"
"Frantically and wildly so." He answers easily. Then he asks with his thumb ghosting over your nub, "Are we okay? Is this still okay?" 
"Yeah, this is good," You sigh, enjoying the zing that runs up your back when he nudges your clit more pointedly. 
Jake grabs his cock, giving it a few languid strokes before he guides it back into you. You push your hips up to meet him. The new angle that the pillow gives him leverage to hit somewhere that's just a delicious feeling. As he rocks into you, his thumb maintains its place on your clit. Your fear of the mood having been ruined proves wrong as the coil in your core quickly builds, pushing you near the edge once more. 
"Cum in me, Jake, please. Give me a baby," you request, your thighs quivering as you near your orgasm. 
As his hips snap nearly frantically, Jake rolls your clit over in nearly the same rhythm. He moans your name a minute later, falling over the edge and spilling inside of you. Though his hips stutter to a stop leaving himself fully seated in you, he continues working over your clit. It doesn't take long until you're dissolving into pleasure along with him. 
The ripples run through your body, and you feel every muscle tense and relax, turning into jelly. Jake grunts when you spasm around him but doesn't move or pull out until you've fully melted into the bed on the downward crest of your peak. 
When he does pull out, he doesn't go far, shifting enough to spoon you. Settling behind you, Jake pulls you close to his chest, wrapping you tight in his arms. His hand is tracing lazy patterns on your hip and occasionally venturing to the soft skin of your belly. You don't have the mind to be self-conscious at the moment, still a little too blissed out. It takes significant brain power to process his question when he asks, "Do you actually want to have a baby?" 
"Do you?" You wonder. 
"You can't answer a question with a question," Jake chastises you. Turning in his arms so you are sprawled against his chest, you snuggle close, nuzzling him affectionately. 
"Do you know how it was seeing you with Jackson today?" You ask him. 
"If it was even half of how it felt seeing you hold him, then I'm sorry." 
"Whatever you felt, double it. Triple it even." You say lightly. "It was enough for me to ask my friend, who I thought could never want me, for a baby." 
"I do want you," Jake immediately reassures you. 
"Thank goodness for baby fever, then. Because at least now we know we want each other," you reason, slowly starting to draw mindless patterns of your own against his skin. 
Jake heaves a sigh and strokes his hand down your back, wondering, "Was this just baby fever?" 
"No," you answer after thinking about it for a long span of silence. "I would have a baby with you. It seems right. I want that, I think." You can feel the relief in his body, hearing that, all his tension easing into relaxation. 
"Good," is the only response he gives you, kissing the crown of your head. You expect more but don't get it. Rather, Jake seems content to just bask in the afterglow. That doesn't seem to be too bad an idea, so you close your eyes, listening to his steady heartbeat.  
When you wake up from your impromptu nap, you're not alone in bed. However, you are now under the covers of a different comforter than there was before, and Jake is no longer acting as your pillow. He is on the other side of the bed, but his hand is stretched out, grazing the middle of your back. 
Rolling to face him, you admire the sight he makes stretched out on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Jake's got a book open, folded in half, clearly abusing the book's binding just so he can have one hand on you. When he notices you sleepily admiring him, Jake shoots you a soft smile. 
"Hey baby," he whispers. 
"Hi," You whisper back scooting closer to him and grab the hand that had been touching you, threading your fingers together. 
"Let's go on a date," Jake suddenly springs on you, squeezing your hand. 
"I would love that," you respond, feeling giddy as butterflies erupt in your stomach. "Want something first, though."
"I already told you I would give you anything you want, and I meant it," Jake says, setting his book on his bedside table and giving you his full attention. 
"Good, because I want round two and a shower, which hopefully has round three involved." 
"Your wish is my command," Jake says easily. You move even closer to him so your lips are only a breath apart. "I meant it, the ring, the house, the baby. I can make it all happen by tomorrow." 
"Let's start with breakfast in bed," you say, kissing him hard. When your lips hardly touch because you're both smiling too wide, well, that actually makes it feel all the better. 
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ms-taurusvenus · 2 months
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Astro Notes 2
2H Plutos have the universe with them financially. Even when they reach a low point financially, the universe always catches them. Ei, a 2H Pluto naive has $20 in their bank account, a few days later they get an additional $150. Then a few days later, they get an additional $300.
Don’t mess with someone with a Cancer Moon with an Aries Mars. They know express and feel their emotions and how to translate them and aren’t going to hesitate when needing to express themselves. Especially when they’re yelling at someone. You can see and feel the impact and how they’re feeling and their anger is very intimidating. NGL, they’re kinda scary when they’re mad.
Moon in 8H, 12H, 6H or weakened Moons can indicate insomnia. 
Although Pisces may be good in the 5H, navies with this placement may feel self-doubt or have a god complex if they choose to indulge into the arts, creativity, & possibly even when it comes to how they view children. 
Complimenting others strengthens your Venus.
6H transits -> potential stomach issues/pain. 6H = Virgo and rules the stomach
3H & Gemini placements may have a tendency to unintentionally talk about themselves.
5H transits may indicate connecting with your inner child, no it doesn’t only mean your love life will get better.
Libra, Cancer and Taurus Mars should do Pilates and yoga when it comes to working out  and fitness.
Saturn-Venus/Moon aspects should study somewhere that they won’t get comfortable (bedroom, house, etc) and go outside (cafes, libraries, etc) to get work done.
Debilitated 11H tend to struggle with friend groups and having them and it often results to them having a lot of online friends and hanging out with people individually/one-on-one.
Thank you for reading until the end! Hope you enjoyed, my inbox are OPEN!
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hyperfizationss · 1 month
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Lost the request cos tumblrs dumb😡but I know who requested it @averagetoyakinnie (Ik it was lute and Adam but I just can’t see a poly relationship there)
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Adam x reader gen hcs
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Sfw:
⭐️- let’s start off with how likely it is you guys met
⭐️- adam who at the time has fucked so many people he’s probably in the 100s for a body count,wanting a relationship?
⭐️- well yeah it wasn’t easy to convince him into that,but after realizing he had feelings for his friend rather than just a need to fuck he got really fucked up in the head
⭐️- this man would be be shoving whores to the side at his concerts just to go and find you at whatever you were doing at the time
⭐️- before you guys actually dated and he was in his crush phase,he took a lot of pictures of you when you guys hung out,mostly because you were cute.but also because he wanted something to jack off to later
⭐️-he found telling you would be the worst part,not even if you rejected,just telling you,because he’s Adam,the dickmaster,he can’t just say he likes you and that be it,it needs to be extravagant
⭐️-bye at the end of the day he couldn’t do anything because you obviously confessed first,because you wanted to know if he would be up for a real relationship
⭐️- which,with you?yeah h totally was.
⭐️this man turns into your personal guard dog,he’s basically always on you,a hand on something,wherever you go he’s not far
⭐️-he’s a love sick little golden retriever,who just loves his partner so much and can’t stand not being around them
⭐️-and when I say dog,I also meant l in the loyal way,he’s been left twice,and he always had some sort of attachment issue with his hookups.
⭐️- now some hcs 😍
⭐️- he buys you jewelry.and a lot,necklaces,bracelets,rings,hell even tiaras
⭐️-and on the topic of rings,he is sooooooo serious about wanting to marry you,keep you away from Lucifer and all
⭐️-JEALOUS.
⭐️- he can’t help it,he had two wives get swooped away by ‘mr steal your girl’ so of course he also tries to keep you away from hell
⭐️- you don’t know about the exterminations,which after the whole trial drove a wedge into your relationship,as you thought that was a huge thing to hide
⭐️-but luckily you guys got over it.
⭐️-WE CAN IMAGINE THAT HE DIDNT DIE.
⭐️-so you nursed him back to health,getting healers and everything to make it very quick and comfy for him
⭐️- heavens number 1 couple.that’s what y’all are
NSFW:
⭐️- let’s talk about size.he’s isn’t average.he’s almost at ten inches, 9.8 to be specific,and girthy to. has 1 specific vein down the side that buldges whenever he’s been jacking off for to long
⭐️- favorite position is any kind where he can push your legs up.over his shoulders,makes you wrap them around his waist. Mating press and missionary>>>>>
⭐️- is great at giving head,eats like it’s his last meal
⭐️- but is a MESS receiving it.when you suck his dick it takes everything to make him not start fucking your mouth,trying to keep his hips from bucking up is practically impossible
⭐️- he loves when you ride him,he’s a lazy guy,he’ll be grabbing your thighs tho,his finger prints will be in you thighs at this point
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Dividers from this post by @saradika-graphics
As always thanks for reading and my inbox is open!
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492 notes · View notes
jasmines-library · 2 months
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Remus Lupin whose sense of smell heightens around the full moon. You come to him and you’re stinking of Sirius. Obviously, he’s really jealous, especially around this time, and he’s clutching you to his side, rubbing his scent all over you, basically claiming his territory.
Lunar Possession
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(Art not mine, found on Pinterest. Cred to original owner)
⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
Note: When I say I dropped EVERYTHING the second this came into my inbox...
Warnings: Pre-full moon remus angst, possessive-ish (?) remus
Word Count: 1.7k
⛧ MARAUDERS MASTERLIST⛧
⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
Remus Lupin was not in a good mood. He was antsy. With the full moon so close, everything put him on edge: His ears seemed to twitch at the smallest shift in the floorboards and his nose seemed to smell every person that passed his dormitory door on their way to and from the common room. It made his stomach churn, like a boat being tossed about on the sea. It made his head pound in a steady rhythm that made it hard to focus on anything else beside the tedious beat. It was followed by a tightness too; pressing harshly against his temples. 
Remus thought he should be used to it by now. He had been dealing with the effects of the full moon for practically as long as he could remember, but he would never truly get used to it. Having you and Sirius by his side always helped though. Remus wouldn’t ever dare admit it out loud, he spent far too much time trying to convince the two of you that he was dangerous and not to be trusted, but you and Sirius calmed his nerves. You made the transformation just that bit more bearable.
He would forever remember the day that you revealed your animagus form to him. Remus could hardly find the words to express how he felt. Never before in his life had he had someone care for him the way that you and Sirius did. James too. He was scared at first,  Remus didn’t know how his friends were going to react when he told them about his lycanthropy. Almost certainly he had expected you to run and to never speak to him again. But that night you did the opposite and held him close. And Remus had never felt more loved and accepted. Now, of course he was cautious at first. Angry. Scared. But slowly the three of you had talked him into realising it was a good idea: He was coming home after each transformation with fewer injuries and seemed to be managing much easier with your help. Of course, seeing the scratches and cuts appear on his friends bodies each night made him grimace and try to convince you to stop. He was supposed to protect you and, instead, he was allowing you to get hurt. But you stayed. And Remus was impossibly grateful for that. 
Remus groaned as another ache shot through his body, and he turned tugging the blanket closer to him. The moon made him feel the need to hold you close all of the time. He yearned for the smell of your shampoo and the coolness of your skin flush against his. When the moon made him get like this Remus often found himself missing class. All of the people just made his nerves sizzle. Unfortunately, your boyfriend's condition did not mean that you also got a free pass to skip class. Or Sirius for that matter. So, instead of having you close, Remus lay curled up in his bed as his bones ached, waiting antagonisingly for you to return. 
When you finally pushed the door open quietly as to stop it creaking, you were clinging onto Sirius’ arm. You arm was looped between his and you leaned your head against the crook of his shoulder. The two of you had been like that all day, he could tell. 
You and Sirius had had a busy day to say the least. Not only had potions class run over, but you also had homework that you needed to catch up on during your lunch break. Not that you actually got much done with Sirius around. Sirius was an observer. He could tell from the way you held your shoulders higher than usual and walked with heavier steps that you were stressed. So he did all he could to help you relax a little. Knowing that you were also worried about your boyfriend, he placed gentle kisses to your forehead whilst you worked, or stole them from your lips in the corridor. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you to his chest to try and expel the tension from your body. Your boyfriend's efforts seemed to have helped because by the time the bell finally rang and the doors spilled open to reveal the flood of students, you were feeling much better. Especially because you could now fill the empty space that Remus’ absence had created. 
“Rem?” Your voice was quiet and tender, near a whisper in case he was asleep, or was finding everything too loud.
He peeked his head out from under the blanket, his hair tousled from hours of restlessness. You smiled at him brightly. It was enough for him to return it, and lift his sour mood.
“Hey, Dove.” he greeted, shuffling out of bed to greet you. He couldn’t help but eye his boyfriend who stood with his hand placed tenderly on your lower back. Remus’ fingers twitched. “Good day?”
You hummed, slipping off your shoes and making your way over him to wrap him up in your embrace. You knew it had likely been a tough day for him. “Better now you’re here.”
As you took another step closer to him and away from Sirius the tender moment between the two of you was interrupted. At first, Remus had thought it was because he was standing right next to you. That his nose was getting confused, another side effect of the moon, but now you were standing right beside him across the room from your other partner, Remus knew that he was not mistaken. You stank entirely of Sirius: warm, musky, rich, honey-like and a little earthy. It was complemented by the faint smell of cigarette smoke and leather from his jacket. Normally, the boy would savour the smell of his partner, but you smelt so much like him that it completely drowned out everything about your scent. Something possessive inside him seemed to switch on. 
Remus snatched you up immediately, pressing you so tight to his chest that you thought he was going to smother you. He couldn’t help the glare he sent to his boyfriend over the top of your head. Glowering, he pressed a kiss to your head as his fingers reached to fiddle with the hem of your jumper, trying to inch it upward.
You pulled away and frowned at him. Sirius also bore a similar expression. “Moony?”
“You smell of him.” It was a simple statement that came out almost as a growl in his voice. 
“Who?”
Remus gestured to Sirius, who had moved to sit on the edge of his bed, with a nod of his head. When he spoke, his tone was filled with something Remus did not possess often. Jealousy.  “Sirius.” 
Sirius furrowed his brows, before realisation crossed his face and he gave you a look. Remus was feeling left out. He had been feeling rotten all day and now he was being left with a constant reminder of how you and Sirius had been spending the day clinging onto each other instead of him. To make matters worse, the moon was making him possessive: he needed to state what was his. 
“Take it off.” Remus’ voice was demanding, but you could hear the need hidden deep behind it. “Please.”
You nodded, your hands slipping over him as you helped him to remove your jumper. Remus tossed it to Sirius and pulled you back to him. Although the jumper was gone, which had helped a little, he could still smell his boyfriend all over you. Understanding this from the way Remus shifted antstily, being the loving boyfriend that he is, Sirius moved to Remus’ trunk to pull out one of his jumpers for you to wear. Before he could reach it however, Remus snapped. 
“Don’t touch them.” Remus moved toward his trunk and took a sweater before a very startled Sirius could react. Siri nodded slowly, taking a step back and raising his hands in a surrendering gesture. When after seeing you slip it on, the boy released a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding. It was better, but his mind still screamed at him: mineminemine.
“You alright Moons?” Sirius asked hesitantly, unsure or not whether to approach or not. Remus was still holding you close to him, peppering you with kisses, though he seemed to be less tense now.
He hummed, twisting toward his boyfriend but still not letting you go. This time his expression held much less venom than it had before “Sorry…” He started “I don’t know what came over me.”
Sirius took his chance to move toward him. Instinctively, Moony turned you away, but instead of trying to move you as he thought Sirius would, his boyfriend placed an arm on his shoulder. “It’s alright Rem. I understand.”
Remus tucked your head beneath his chin as your hand wandered to his own to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. “Still. I guess I thought I could handle being alone today… but it was all just a bit much. And seeing her come in here smelling of you…”
“Shh” Siri hushed, smoothing Remus’ hair. “You want to lay down?”
Remus nodded. “Is that okay with you, Dove?” He asked.
“Of course.” You smiled. Taking Remus’ hand you moved over to the bed, shifting the covers out of the way so you could climb beneath them. Remus followed, tucking you close to his body once more, and then Sirius lay on the other side of Remus, resting his head on his shoulder. 
Remus relaxed into the mattress as you ran lazy circles over the palm of the hand he was using to keep you in place. He pressed his lips to your head.
“I love you.” He murmured. “I’m so glad I can call you mine.”
“And we are glad to be yours.” Siri told him. 
“Thank you for doing this. I’m sorry if I overreacted…”
“Never.” You said. “Anything for our Moony.”
Remus pulled you closer to him. You had a feeling you weren’t going to be moving anytime soon.
⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
MARAUDERS TAGS:
⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
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diqldrunks · 1 month
Text
DATE ME TO SCARE THEM — R. CAMERON
summary: rafe cameron didn't do girlfriends, or make deals — so why did he agree so quickly to being your fake boyfriend — for the sole purpose of pissing off your parents? (based off the song 18 by anarbor)
a/n: this is very different from the original which got lost when my acc got terminated
cw/tw: none! this is really short but other parts will be much longer!! asks for rafe (in this au and others) are open!! anons are welcome!
word count: 0.8k
DMTST — PART ONE
next part | nav | inbox
rafe masterlist | main masterlist
:・゚✧:・゚
you and rafe had been sitting on the beach when you asked him.
it was late summer, and the sun was slowly setting. the two of you had spent the entire day together, and the entire time, rafe couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d done something to upset you.
you had barely said 5 words to him that hadn’t been prompted by a question he asked you; there was an air of awkwardness surrounding the two of you and any interaction you had, and rafe hated it.
he spent ages going over anything and everything he had said, trying to figure it out. he'd eventually decided he'd had enough, and when you were reapplying your lip gloss, he decided to speak up.
"sweets," he asked, using the nickname he began using years ago after he realised the extent of your sweet tooth, "everything good with you? anything going wrong in your little world that i can help out with?"
the two of you had met two years ago, when your parents had dragged you to an overly formal dinner at the country club after you had moved — you were sat across from him and one of his sisters, sarah. together, the three of you tried to tune out the insufferably dull conversations that were happening — with one of ways being rafe and sarah explaining kildare to you, introducing the concept of ‘pogues’ and ‘kooks’ (with sarah later introducing you to some of her kook friends without rafe’s knowledge).
after a couple of these dinners, the three of you became friends — with it soon becoming commonplace for you to spend days and nights at the cameron’s’. you spent mornings in town shopping, afternoons on the boat and evenings at parties. though you met other people your age — both kooks and pogues — and became friendly with them, rafe and sarah were always the ones you were closest to.
over time, sarah became more distant, and your afternoons on the beach as a trio became just you and rafe. your parents weren’t that happy, having voiced their dislike for the boy, but as they worked away for business a lot, they didn’t have a chance to stop it. this month, they were away again, in chicago this time for a series of conferences, but were coming back in a few days.
they had phoned you a few weeks ago, and were clearly excited to be talking to you — one of their business executive friends had a son, and, although they didn’t say it explicitly, they expected you to go on a few dates with him. his name was matthew, and he was coming to outer banks with his father a few days after your parents return.
you were anxious and angry, and for days had been racking your brain for a solution — one that you could make last as long as you matthew went back home. you had eventually came up with a plan — it was risky, and frankly just a terrible idea, but it should work. you just had to get rafe on board.
you looked to rafe, his hair almost glowing gold from the sunlight.
"i need you to be my boyfriend."
the brunette paused, one of his hands frozen in place as it hovered over the cooler from where he was about to grab a second beer.
he was silent for a moment, his eyebrows slightly raised so the ends of his hair began to cover them.
"i'm sorry sweets, i need to what?"
this time your voice was louder than before, but still quiet enough that rafe had to try and block out the sound of the crashing waves to hear you clearly. "i need you to date me for the next two weeks — three at a push."
you take a quick look at rafe before turning you attention back to the hands in your lap as you continue to talk. "it's my parents — they're coming to visit for a few weeks and the last time i spoke to them, they were trying to set me up with one of their business friend’s sons — a guy called matthew-"
rafe ran a hand through his hair. "god sweets, do i really have to get dragged into this? your parents despise me-"
"that’s why this is so perfect rafe. they are setting me up for misery — let’s be real, matthew’s going to be as dull as a rock. i want to throw this stupid idea back in their faces — make sure they won’t do this again."
"you’re gonna use me to piss off your parents, sweets?" rafe smirked, remembering just how much you're parents hated him. "fake date me just so you can scare them?” rafe pauses, pretending to think. god, he was insufferable. “i don't know, seems like an awfully one sided deal..."
you needed rafe to agree, otherwise you risk sitting opposite full matthew at the country club for dinner. "rafe cameron i will literally do anything for you to agree."
rafe smirked. "if you say so sweets."
rafe taglist (lmk if you want to be added!); @izabellaemerson @spiderflunk @kitty-m30w @vincapandora @uraesthete @wickedtactics @harmoneeee24 @starkeybae @fairydvstss @alexiskirkland @devils-blackrose @makaylalovessmut @winterrrnight @clearbolts @slayystuff @neilove @littlemissborntolose @emyslittlebubble @ldrsog @stargrltara @isabelllauer @alexasznisforever @zizuras @sadgirlelenora @djosfuture @leaskisses444
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hysteria-things · 2 months
Note
can you do a nate fluff w/ some smut where it's him and the triplets little sister and theyre dating and he keeps wanting to be close to her in but they're in a video so he has to wait and the fans notice when the video comes out? this wasn't specific at all so sorry 😭
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SNEAK AWAY (part one)
read part two here
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: soft dom!nate x sls!reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: six of you are on a trip in hawaii! the only downside is that your triplet brothers don’t know you’re dating their best friend.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, FLUFF, swearing, praising
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,208
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i need this man (biblically)
ALSO i have not forgotten about promise it’ll be continued i just want to get through some of my inbox first!
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hawaii is a beautiful place. you truly never want to leave.
this trip is for madi’s eighteenth birthday, and you were practically begged to come. not only you, but nate came along, too.
the thing about nate is that you’re in love with him. literally.
you guys have been dating for roughly seven months, and nobody knows about it. it’s only a thing between you and him.
it genuinely feels nice for it to be you and his thing, but it does get annoying because you have to sneak around.
personally, you wouldn’t mind if your brothers never found out. they can’t kill you, but they will hawk nate and kill him.
glancing around the store, you fidget with the straps of your tank top. “nate, come on.”
he glances at you and then back at the condom boxes. the triplets are vlogging the trip thus far, and you guys walked away to come over to this section.
“nathan.”
he sighs, grabbing a box. “you worry about them too much, baby. we’re fine.”
“they can turn down one of these aisles any second and we’ll be busted.” you whisper-yell, pointing around the store.
he chuckles, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “they’re loud. i’m sure we’ll hear them coming before something bad happens.”
he continues to look at you and smiles.
you cross your arms, bumping a hip out. “what?”
“you’re cute when you’re mad.” he takes his finger and flicks it under your chin before the two of you walk over to the counter and place the condoms on it. you’re still looking around, but there are no same-faced people in sight.
the woman working eyes the both of you, a subtle smirk on her face before scanning the box and putting it in a bag.
he pays for it, and just as you guys turn around you hear voices. “hey guys.” nick greets, looking down at the bag. “what’d you get?”
“some deodorant. i forgot mine at home.” nate answers, nudging your arm softly.
the man-children are recording themselves playing with a ball in an open grass area by the hotel, you and madi watching them from afar. you sigh annoyingly, looking down at your watch.
“i’m going to go up to the room,” you yell, cupping your hands around your mouth so they can hear. they stop playing, focusing now on you. “need to go to the bathroom.”
they give you the okay, and before you know it you’re walking into the hotel suite.
you scroll on your phone, a few minutes passing by before the door opens. you grin widely, nate shutting the door behind him.
he comes over to you and snakes his arms around your waist to pull you close. “i missed you.”
you giggle. “you just saw me.”
sighing, he pulls you into a kiss. the way your mouths move in sync has you craving more. this is the first time you guys are alone, let alone a kiss that’s not a millisecond long.
he pulls away and lifts you, your legs dangling on his sides so he can take you to the bed he’s sharing with chris.
sorry in advance, chris.
he lays you down, kissing your jaw before taking off your shorts. “how much time do you think we have?” you ask.
he shrugs. “like i said before, they’re loud. we’ll hear them coming.”
you blush at his boston accent, one much stronger than yours and your brother’s. even though you’ve heard him talk a hundred times, it’ll always make your heart flutter.
he leaves wet kisses up your chest and neck while he pulls down his bottoms. his kisses finalize on your lips. “i love you a lot.”
you bite your lip, smiling. “i love you too.”
he reaches into the plastic bag he put on the nightstand and grabs the condom box. he rips off one of them and opens it, putting it on when he throws the wrapper somewhere on the ground.
your hands run along his back as he starts to thrust into you, low moans leaving your body.
nate’s thrusts are soft and slow, but it feels more intimate and comforting. you hate the phrase ‘making love’, but it seems like you’re doing just that.
he leans down to kiss you passionately again, his hands flat next to your head. he pulls away, his nose rubbing against yours.
breathing heavily, he moves his hips at a medium pace, going deeper inside of you and just about hitting your g-spot.
your sounds are more high-pitched now, with some profanities flowing through the air as well.
“na—” you begin but get cut off by a gasp once that spot is hit. you throw your head back and arch, balling your hands up to fists. “oh my god.”
“wait just a second, okay?” he rasps out, followed by a groan of his own. “you’re so fucking pretty.”
he hits inside you harder since he’s close to his orgasm and you whimper at how good it feels.
“i’m cumming, baby,” he says before jutting his hips one last time and releasing into the condom.
one last moan and you’re spilling around him. he pulls out, laying on top of your chest as you guys breathe in sync. “imagine they walk in right now?” he jokes.
you slap him on the chest. “better knock on wood, nathan, or we’re going to have some serious issues.”
madi’s birthday rolls around the next day, and it’s the late morning as you guys sit on the couch. your legs are crisscrossed as madi is on her knees.
the four boys are doing some activities outside before all of you go out later for birthday dinner, but you girls want to stay inside in the cool air.
face masks are on your faces, still dressed in pajamas as you guys also paint your nails. “i’m so happy to have another girl around. growing up with four older brothers was not easy.”
she looks up from her painting and gives you a toothy smile before she clears her throat. “can i ask you something?”
“sure.”
“are you sleeping with nate?”
you pause mid-stroke, now looking at the girl across from you.
you chuckle nervously, putting the brush back into the polish. “why do you ask?”
“by the way he ran after you yesterday when you were going back to the room, i knew something was up.”
you hesitate, but you have to tell at least one person. madi you can trust with anything. “not… entirely.”
“what?” her eyes bulge out of her sockets, not expecting you to admit it. “are you like in love with him or something?”
you try to hide your smile, but your face turning beat red gives you away.
her mouth hangs open. “no. way.”
“we’re dating.” you start. “we have been for about seven months. we started talking on my birthday last year, and it escalated from there.”
“omg!” she squeals. “this is the best birthday gift i’ve ever received and it doesn’t even involve me.”
you laugh. “please don’t tell my brothers. they’ll have a heart attack if they find out.”
she zips her lips and throws the key. “my lips are sealed, unlike your le—”
“quit it.”
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @r4iyaa @sturniolotriplettoplover @mattybswife @freshsturns @loverrsposts @saturncanyon
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foreingersgod · 9 days
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omg I saw you wrote for pb and I was wondering your take on her comforting a reader who struggles with mental health or anxiety? Tysmia && I love your work !! ❤️🤗
for any of you struggling out there, i’m here with you! if you ever need, my inbox is always open :)
Anxious . PB
pairing: paige bueckers x reader
synopsis: you’ve struggled with anxiety your entire life, but you never told anyone, including paige. during one of your bad anxiety attacks, she finally finds out.
༶•┈┈���♡୧┈┈•༶
since you were young, about starting middle school, anxiety controlled the entirety of your life. every decision, every breathe, every moment, anxiety was driving you. it was so suffocating that you fell behind the other kids. you didn’t play sports or join clubs, nor did you hang out with friends because you feared the worst. those voices in your head, that twisted feeling in your gut made life almost unlivable.
when you graduated high school and moved away for college, the anxiety lessened. you think in some ways college helped you find yourself and for a little bit, you were living freely.
in that time, you met your girlfriend paige. you had met her through one of your mutual friends at her birthday party. paige had spotted you from across the room, completely captivated by you. you were beautiful, had the most adorable laugh, and had the most unique style she had seen. she couldn’t help but ask for your number.
the rest was history. you and paige hit it off immediately and became inseparable. when you were with paige, you felt amazing. anxiety was the last thing on your mind. talking to people became easier, leaving your house was no longer scary, life was good. your days of anxiety and panic attacks were well behind you.
but about a year into your relationship, things started to fall apart again. that particular year, you were facing a lot of hardships and it was hard to manage it all. your mother was rushed to the hospital for a minor respiratory problem, she was recovering well, but the financial burden fell to you. school was beginning to pile up as well, it felt like you were drowning in school work. things at your job had been getting worse too, you were understaffed (and underpaid) and practically running the whole place. and on top of that, it was paige’s last year at uconn and she was so stressed about the upcoming season, and you were finding it hard to balance being her support system and the rest of your life.
it was hard.
when things started to go down hill, you felt that familiar feeling creep its way back into your mind. you found that your heart was pounding more and more when you left your cozy apartment, that your thoughts weren’t your own, and that you were always worried about the future. you couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t function properly at all. but you stayed optimistic, thinking that this would run its course. because you were getting better, right?
you kept all of this from paige. you were worried that she would worry and you didn’t want to make things worse. after all, you had never even told paige about your struggles with anxiety and mental health in the past and you wanted to keep it that way.
on one saturday night in june, one of paige’s teammates hosted a small get together at a quaint little restaurant with the team and their partners. everyone was stoked to see one another and catch up. normally, you would have loved this sort of thing. you used to love those types of settings, but now you were struggling to act excited about it. when paige had told you about the invite, you immediately became apprehensive.
“you excited?” she asked, telling you the details of the event “it’ll be fun”
“stoked” you managed to croak out.
when 6:00 pm rolled around, you were dressed and ready to go. paige was downstairs, keys in hand, awaiting your arrival, but you remained in the bathroom. you stared at your reflection in the mirror, trying to talk yourself down from a panic attack.
you can do this, YN, it’s gonna be ok you told yourself.
“YN!” you heard paige holler from the bottom of the stairs “we’re gonna be late, babe! are you ready?”
touching up your hair and fanning the tears out of your eyes, you rushed out of the bathroom. paige greeted you by the front door with a kiss, hands finding the small of your back and leading you out to her car.
the drive was dreadful. all you could think about was going home, thinking that something was going to go wrong and ruin your night. it had you discretely biting your nails as you looked out the car window. paige, oblivious to your agitated state, was telling you about the restaurant the get together was held at and how she was exited for you to try it. you nodded along, trying to keep yourself distracted.
after a painfully long drive to your destination, you were being escorted to the table where your party sat. you were met with toothy smiles and cheerful greetings from paige’s teammates as you arrived. paige pulled out your chair for you and sat down next to you while conversing with a few of the girls.
you were doing fine at first, only sparking up conversation with a few girls to keep your anxiety at bay. you were managing. even when the waiters began taking orders, you got through it no problem. laughter filled your small corner of the restaurant as everyone joked and talked with each other, there was absolutely nothing to be worried about.
20 minutes passed, discussion was still alive and you were getting through the night like a champ.
until the food was brought out.
the second that plate was sat in front of you, you felt the pace of your heart pick up. you didn’t know what was going on, but for some reason, the thought of eating your food in front of all of these people set you off. you hadn’t had a history of this, normally you didn’t mind eating in public. you assumed it must of been the stress of keeping food down. you stared at the steaming meal in front of you like it was some sort of extraneous creature. just the thought of lifting up the fork had you spiraling about every possible thing that could go wrong.
what if you threw up?
what if the food was raw?
what if everyone saw the way that you were eating? they’ll probably think you look funny.
your eyes welled up at the thought of it all, your head hung low to hide your dampened mood. your legs were bouncing uncontrollably to try and balance your nerves, body practically shaking from fear.
as you attempted to reserve yourself, praying no one would notice. you felt paige’s hand rest itself onto your knee, gripping it gently to halt your bouncing. she tapped the inside of your thigh, leaning in and whispering into your ear.
“hey, what’s the matter baby?” she muttered just enough for you to hear “you’re shaking”
you bit your lip harshly. fuck
you shook your head. it was all you could muster, couldn’t find the ability in your throat to produce any words. the urge to cry out for help gnawed at your chest.
before paige could question any further, you abruptly stood out of you chair. the wooden legs scraping against the black and white tile of the floor. as your back turned, rushing to the bathroom for any sort of isolation, you felt eyes burning in the back of your head. you heard paige call out for you faintly, but it was no use, you couldn’t sit at that table a moment longer.
the bathroom felt miles away as scurried past other tables. tears were streaming down your cheeks, most definitely taking your mascara with it. finally reaching the single occupant bathroom, you shut the door and locked it behind you. you were careless of the germs as you sunk to the bathroom floor in despair. knees hugged close to your chest and head buried into your arms. sobs racked your body and trepidation coursed through your veins. you were losing control of yourself.
out of the blue a knock sounded at the bathroom door. assuming it was another diner of the restaurant, you ignored it hoping they would move along. then you heard her.
“YN, are you in there? are you ok, what the hell is going on?” paige’s voice rang through the door.
“i’m fine” you hiccuped “i’ll be out in a second, i just need to pee is all”
“don’t lie to me” she said “you were shaking and sobbing when you left the table, the hell you just have to pee”
you continued to cry, loud enough for paige to hear.
“baby, please, what can i do? what’s going on, i want to help” she pleaded.
past all the pain your mind was putting you through, you yearned for paige. she made you feel so safe, the whole reason you were able to battle your anxiety in the first place. you didn’t want to rope her into this, but it was far past keeping it a secret now.
with hands still trembling, you unlocked the door and let her in. without wasting a second, she was at your side, locking the door behind her. her arms wrapped around you protectively, rubbing your back to comfort you as you fell to the floor again. she sat with you as you crawled into her. your head tucked into her chest as you cried, tears soaking into her shirt, fingers clinging to the fabric. paige tried to move the hair out of your face to get a better look at you.
“you’re scaring me, YN” a worried expression washed across her face “what can i do? who do i have to fight, huh?”
she tried to cheer you up, accepting defeat once you cried harder.
“i-i don’t-” you were struggling to speak still “i don’t even know where to start paige!”
she pulled you closer to her chest “just try baby, take your time. i’m right here with you, we’ve got all the time in the world ok. just get it all out, you’re safe”
and that was all it took for you to completely break down if front of your girlfriend. every detail from the last few days, from your past, everything about your anxiety came spilling out.
“before i met you, i had chronic anxiety. like so bad i could barely leave the house. then i moved away for school and it got better, and when i met you it pretty much went away. but you know with my mom? and school and work and now you’re in your last season with your team? it’s just been getting to me and the anxiety has started to get worse again. i can’t eat or sleep right and i feel like i’ve been losing my fucking mind, paige”
she was such an amazing listener, sitting there on the dirty bathroom floor as her girlfriend bawled into her shoulder. the whole time her eyes were glued to you, gentle fingers carefully wiping your tears away.
“why didn’t you tell me all of this? tell me about the eating and the sleeping? YN, it makes me sick imagining you going through all this alone”
“because i didn’t want you to worry and i was too embarrassed to say anything”
“well i’m worried now” she said “and embarrassed? baby…”
“i know, it’s silly, but i was just scared you’d think of me less if you knew what a mess i am when i get anxiety like this”
“i could never think less of you. ever. please know that”
“but i-”
“no, listen” she interrupted “just because you struggle with your mental health or have a hard time dealing with your anxiety doesn’t mean i’ll think anything less of you. you’re my whole world. this life and in the next, you’re my entire soul. i want nothing more than to be here for you and to help you overcome things like this. if anything, it only proves to me how strong you are and how i’m so lucky to have a girl who’s able to get through all this”
you sniffled, tears stopping as she continued “i love you, more than you know. and i’m sorry you felt like you needed to do this on your own”
you really had the best girlfriend out there. someone who loves you even through your own insecurities.
“i love you so much” you kissed her with your lips salty from the tears “thank you for being here, i don’t know what i’d do without you”
“get through all this just the same because that’s how strong you are. i’m just here to help in anyway you need” paige leaned in for another kiss, this time deeper, strong hands cradling your jaw “how about i go tell the team you’re not feeling well and we’ll go back home, eat some ice cream and watch anything you want?”
you nodded, wiping your cheeks with the back of your palm “even new girl?”
“yea baby, even new girl”
moments later, you were back in the comfort of your home. snuggled in bed next to paige, bowls of ice cream on your lap, the tv buzzing in the background.
you could finally breathe again, you just needed your girl.
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justalildumpling · 1 year
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⇢ 3, 2, 1
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synopsis: at this point of your pathetically unrequited crush on your popular friend, it didn’t faze you when you found out that he wasn’t going to be at the same NYE party as you. but when he suddenly turned up to come find you, did you start wondering that maybe you weren’t the only one with harboured feelings.
pairing: mark x reader genre: friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff word count: 2.3k warnings: swearing, drunkenness/mentions of drinking and partying, the word sex was said once note: lmao the way i’ve literally had this idea in my wip documents since like last year… anyways, here’s a little soft boi mark to start off your year <33 happy new year everyone!!
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It didn't really make much sense.
Well, according to the resident drunkards Haechan and Chenle that is, being sober on New Years Eve.
Or any house party for that matter.
"It's literally free alcohol Y/N, why not make the most of it?" Haechan protested, cracking open another can of Jack and Coke, letting out a satisfied hum after hearing the bubbles fizzing up to the rim of the lid.
"Cause some people want a functioning liver by the age of thirty Lee Donghyuck," You rolled your eyes at the tipsy boy, clicking your tongue in disapproval as he downed the alcoholic drink in his hand, "And actually be able to recall all the not stupid things I did the night before."
"What? Like accidentally telling our little Markie boy that you're head over heels for him?" Donghyuck fired back, shaking the last droplets of the drink into his mouth before chucking it in the kitchen bin, "He's not even with us tonight!"
Unfortunately for you, the little devil man dressed as your best friend was right. Mark Lee was nowhere to be found at the party, though you couldn't complain as you were already notified of his absence last Wednesday.
You and your group of friends sat basking in the sunlight outside on the picnic benches of the park, taking in the rare appearance of the sun within the rainy week.
"What do you mean you're not coming to Lele's?!" Donghyuck squabbled, letting his burger fall onto the wrapper with a thud.
Mark merely shrugged, guiltily scratching the nape of his neck, "Johnny had already invited me two weeks ago and I said I was gonna go, sorry guys."
You frowned at the boy's statement, swirling the fry that you had stolen from Jisung's tray into the ketchup tub.
Though Mark was an important member of your high school friend group, it was hard to align your meet ups with his hectic schedule. Sometimes you couldn't seem to understand your crush in question, how he managed to juggle his school work alongside the university basketball team, internship plus a somewhat abundant social life was a mystery in itself.
Mark Lee was a relatively popular figure at your school, good looks, a chill and caring personality and godly talented at everything he did. It was no surprise that his inbox was flooded with invitations all the time let alone the holiday break.
Despite this, he always made sure to keep in touch with you, checking in with you about how your day had been or if he's lucky to squeeze in an ice cream run by the beach with you, which you very much appreciated and made your heart swell just a little bit too much than the average person, not that he ever needed to know.
As if he sensed your disappointment within the group's chaotic wails and cries, Mark reached over to give your hand a little squeeze, sending you an apologetic glance.
It was things like this which made up your hopelessly harboured feelings for the Canadian, making you think that it wasn't just you that had pathetically pined over him but being the nice guy that he was, probably treated others the same way.
Jaemin and Renjun though seemed to argue otherwise, whining to tell the clueless boy about your feelings, saying that there's no way that he wouldn't like you back before you quickly shushed them, snapping to keep their delusions in their heads.
"Hello? Earth to Y/N?" A voice broke you from your thoughts, causing you to peer up from your seated position on the couch, eyes trailing up the body of a boy to meet an amused Jeno.
He held out your phone, his cheeky grin growing exponentially the more you stared at his hands in confusion.
"Lover boy texted," He finally explained, nonchalantly chucking the device onto your lap, "Figured you'd want to know."
You grumbled, throwing the nearest pillow at the boy in which he barely dodged as he chuckled at your embarrassment, slipping off to the kitchen, most likely reporting the incident to his best friend.
Rolling your eyes, you unlocked your phone to find a couple missed calls from Johnny, unsent message notifications from Yuta and Mark's little message.
markie: hey :)
you: hi!! how's johnny's?
markie: too loud, yuta kept tryinhg to kisss me and johnny keeps bullyibg me markie: so i left
You giggled at his poor attempts at coherent sentences, covering your mouth with your hand to avoid the potential teasing from your friends.
You've seen Mark drunk a couple times, mostly at Johnny's parties after finals week. He was a cute drunk, clinging onto your figure rambling on about things which you couldn't quite decipher, in turn making him an easy target for the playful teasing from his seniors.
Which now that you thought about it, explained the random notifications from Johnny and Yuta, the two culprits behind most if not all of Mark's misery.
you: mark, are you drunk?
markie: no, im repsinsible heh markie: you're still at lele's right?
As you started to type your response, a loud groan was made from the left of the couch, causing you to switch your attention from your phone screen to Donghyuck sitting cross legged on the timber floors with Renjun, who was holding the infamous vomit bucket in front of his mouth, disgust ridden over his face.
"How much did he have tonight?" Jisung asked, almost horrified by the older boy's pitiful state from across the room. His eyes quickly darted back to the array of party mix lollies and the lukewarm pizzas displayed on the dining table, as unidentifiable contents threatened to spill from Donghyuck's mouth.
"We've already lost count," Jaemin resonated from the kitchen, his voice slightly drowned out by the rushing water, "Lele's isn't doing much better either, he's currently occupying the toilet bowl instead of the bucket."
You shook your head, silently chuckling at your best friends' suffering.
you: i am you: lele and hyuck's drunk as fuck you: they're currently hurling their guts out you: one using the vomit bucket, one using the toilet bowl
markie: those idiots hahahah markie: btw could u come outisde for a sex markie: *sev markie: fuck markie: *sec
you: pfft and u said u weren't drunk you: also, ur outside?!?!?
markie: shut up im fine i djust cant type rn
you: lol whatever u say markie you: i'll be out in a sec
You sat up from the couch, quietly squeezing past the crowd formed around the unfortunate boy and up the stairs.
Slipping on Jaemin's drunkenly bought La Coste slides, you swung open the door. A shiver slivered up the small of your back as the cool breeze hit your bare arms, a contrast from the warm stuffy atmosphere from inside.
You spotted Mark standing by the gates of Chenle's house, the dim street light illuminating his facial features, making him look more ethereal than he already was. With a little smile tugging at the corners of your lips, you began making your way towards him.
The sound of gravel shuffling from underneath your feet caused Mark to whip his head around to face you, he was pretty certain that most of the alcohol in his system had disappeared on the walk from Johnny's house but why was it that as soon as he saw you happily skipping down the path, greeting him with the sweetest smile that made him feel so euphoric?
"I can't believe you came!" You exclaimed, bringing him into a warm embrace.
His reply came in the form of a shy laugh, tickling the back of your neck with his breath.
He held you in his arms for a few minutes, with only the occasional squawks from inside breaking the comforting silence.
"Can you believe it's already the new year?" You whispered in awe, pulling away from his body to face him.
"Yeah dude that's insane, it feels like this year went by so quickly," Mark replied, adding his favourite form of endearment to the start, "Do you think you're ready for it to be over?"
You pondered for a few seconds, reflecting back on all the events that occurred within the past year before shrugging your shoulders, "I'm not sure."
"Don't get me wrong, this years been great but I feel like due to school, work and whatever, I wasn't able to fulfil all the things I wanted to do."
Mark nodded his head at your words, resonating with every word.
You always seemed to have the right things to say to him, always so understanding about his hectic schedule but never failing to let him know that he was missed whenever he couldn't make his friend's gatherings. It was things like this which caused the gradual course of his feelings for you.
For a while, Mark believed that he had made his crush on you subtle, not overly flirting or showering you in gifts in front of your friends. But one friendly reminder from Jaemin about his drunk habit of becoming a koala and latching onto you as if his life depended on it, broke his oblivious bubble. He quickly realised that many people had caught on, with some making it more obvious than others.
"I'm telling you, she likes you back bro!" He remembered Johnny exclaiming a few hours back with Yuta nodding enthusiastically as he half hazardously sipped on his beer.
Mark, Johnny and Yuta were situated in the secluded areas of the host's bedroom, with the party hammering hard downstairs. He wasn't too sure how he had ended up on his bed getting lectured by his two teammates about love pestering him to confess his feelings.
"C'mon, just text her saying to meet up," Yuta encouraged, handing him his phone to unlock, "You saw what happens when Johnny and I have our phones."
Mark pinched the bridge of his nose, remembering the sheer panic he had felt when the older boys dialled your number on their phones a few moments back, threatening to spill his secret before he had lunged at their figures wrestling to press the red hang up button.
"You literally have the best excuse to kiss her tonight," Johnny huffed, flopping down on his bed with arms crossed, "It's New Year's Eve."
"No way dude," Mark flatly responded, slapping his phone against his forehead, "What if she doesn't like me?"
"As if a girl would ever reject you," Yuta snorted, nudging the sides of his arms with his elbow, "Now hurry up and text her you fool."
And here he was, standing in front of you in the middle of the gravel pathway, with his face flushed.
Though whether it was due to the alcohol or whether it was the thought of kissing you tonight, he wasn't too sure. But taking into account his palpitating heart in his chest as he waited anxiously for midnight, it seemed to lean towards the latter.
"Sorry for rambling on," You scratched the base of your neck, hoping you didn't talk his ear off.
Mark frantically waved his arms around, shaking his head.
A muffled shriek awfully similar to Chenle's interrupted your conversation, startling both you and Mark as you whipped your heads back to the house. It remained quiet for a few seconds before a range of shouts counting down from ten resonated shortly after.
You giggled, turning around to focus on Mark's smiling face once again as the both of you joined in.
"Three," Mark cleared his throat, wiping his clammy hands on the sides of his ripped jeans.
"Two," He grabbed onto your hand, taking in your sweet smile and the way you reciprocated his touch, clasping your fingers around his, your rings clinking with his.
"One, Happy New Ye-"
The moment his lips hit yours, it had felt like all the daze of the alcohol was wearing off. Regaining consciousness of the way his lips perfectly moulded against yours and how he slipped his tongue into your mouth, tasting the watermelon lollipop you loved so much. Gripping onto your waist and tugging you closer, his heart began to mirror fireworks, matching the way the real ones sparks crackled and thundered in the background.
Pulling away from your touch, the confidence he had going in had simmered down as he gingerly met your eyes once again.
"What was that about?" You whispered, your eyes carrying a sense of wonder.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that without your permission, but you just looked so beautiful and I've had a crush on you for god knows how long and I just couldn't help it. God what am I saying, you can slap me if you want-"
You cut him off by pressing your lips against his once again, jerking him forward by his hoodie strings.
"You kissed me," Mark's eyes widened, awestruck by the sudden gesture.
"I did." You replied, fidgeting with the hems of your shirt as you added, "You said that you liked me."
"I did," Mark confirmed with a shy smile, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
"Does that mean you like me too?"
You could feel your cheek heat up as you dipped your head in response, making him beam at the small motion as he brought you into his arms, snuggling his face into the crook of your neck.
"Happy New Year Y/N," Mark kissed your forehead, his hands resting on the top of your shoulders as he gazed into your eyes adoringly.
"Happy New Year Mark.”
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permanent taglist: @polarisjisung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @shwizhies
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And They Were Best Friends
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Pairing: Draken x F!Reader x Mitsuya
CW/TW: Hurt/Comfort, Situation-ship without the benefits, Oral F (face sitting) and M receiving/giving, vaginal sex, rough-ish sex (It's Draken, what're we gonna do), swearing, pet names (baby, princess, sweetheart, beautiful), nipple play.
Summary: Six years is a long time to dance around your feelings for your two best friends. When you are forced to move out of your apartment, Draken suggests you move in with him and Mitsuya, where things become even more complicated.
Word count: 8.6k
tag list: @awkwardchick87
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At some point in the last five years, Draken and Mitsuya had become permanent fixtures in your life. You couldn’t even pinpoint the moment when people started asking where any of the other sides of your triangle were when you showed up alone or if they showed up somewhere without you. It was to be expected at this point. 
You three simply were.
You can’t remember the last time at least one of them wasn’t crowded into your too-small one-bedroom apartment with you, silently sitting with you while you worked or helping you cook whatever the three of you would be having for dinner that night. 
If it wasn’t your place, you were at the shop when Draken would have to work late, you and Mitsuya keeping him company as the streetlights came on, illuminating the streets in a crimson, orange glow while he pushed to finish up his project. 
Or it was Mitsuya's place when his mom needed someone to watch the girls. Laughter and unbridled joy filtered in and out as the three of you wrangled them in for the night. Others, it was Mitsuya’s loft design studio, you and Draken curled up on the small sofa together, having fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning while the third part of your lives sketched and pinned, needing to get his designs out but still needing you nearby. 
It was somehow domestic.
Outside looking in, people thought it was an odd dynamic—an overly complicated situation of feelings that would eventually lead to heartbreak. 
But to the three of you, it just was. 
In the five years, it had always been simple. Crushes had come and gone, packed down into boxes that couldn’t be opened out of fear of ruining what had become your lives. Mitsuya never missed how Drakens lips turned into a small smile when you entered a room, instantly lighting up the room, even on the darkest days. Draken never failed to recognize the longing in Mitsuya’s when you would push the hair from his eyes as he poured over sketches like Mitsuya wished those touches would linger just a little longer so he could soak in your warmth for just a little longer. 
The two had some unspoken agreement not to push, too wrapped up in the comfort that you all brought to the others, even at the cost of their own fulfillment if that’s what it took. 
They never saw how your eyes would linger on one or the other, wishing that the moments of happiness and friendship they offered could turn into more. They didn’t know that when they would eventually leave you at night, with a hug that lingered a little too long or a look in their eyes like they wished they could stay, you hoped for the same thing, to spend every night in the comfort of their presence, waking up to another day with them. So instead, you listened as their motorcycles would rumble to life and count as the noise slowly turned into the stillness of night once more. 
But just like them, you knew that pushing those lines was out of the question. That one day, you would have to let them go so they could find what they needed outside of you. You would never ask them to choose between you and them. They were the twin dragons, two sides of the same coin, never to be separated, bonded through life and blood. 
Never once did any of you stray from the others. Year after year, settling into a routine that revolved around your complicated situation.
“They’re upping my rent at the beginning of the month,” you groaned one night as you leaned against Draken on the couch in the studio. He had a leg folded up, ankle sitting on top of his knee as he thumbed through an old motorcycle manual you had picked up for him at a thrift store. His other arm slung over the back of the couch, unknowingly drawing little shapes into the bare skin of your shoulder. 
Mitsuya stuck his drawing pen behind his ear and turned on the stool. “Too much?”
You hummed a confirmation. You’d have to move. You rented that place initially because it had been a steal, but recently, it seemed like your rent kept increasing, and your pay kept getting thinner.
“You talk to Peh and Pah?” Draken shut the manual after dog-earing a worn-out, oil-stained page. 
You shook your head, “Not yet. I was going to give them a call in the morning. But from what I could find, I’m probably going to have to move further out of the city.” 
Both men stiffened almost imperceptibly, locking eyes across the room. 
Leaving the city meant you’d be gone from them longer than they’d like, keeping you just out of reach of their protection. Draken felt his stomach sink at the thought of not having you close. Not being able to show up where you are and watch as your eyes lit up, how you’d wrap your much smaller frame into his own as you pressed against him before wrapping you in his arms, hugging you close. 
“I’ll pick you up in the morning,” Mitsuya said softly, lost in his thoughts. “I’ll take you down there and talk to them with you.” The unspoken “we’re not letting you go” passed between the two men. Draken nodded in agreement with the plan and Mitsuya’s resolve. 
Draken sighed heavily and dropped his head back, staring out the skylight in the ceiling, watching as one star in the sky slowly blinked out of existence. “We’ll figure this out, sweetheart.”
You had been out the door the following morning before Mitsuya had even finished pulling up to your apartment, having heard him coming. You knew the sound of their bikes like the back of your hands at this point. It was chilly, the tepid days of fall slowly filtering into the early brisk of winter, and you shivered as Mitsuya kicked down the stand before getting off, leaving the bike running. His face was pinched, his eyebrows scrunched together as he took you in; something was bothering him that he wasn’t ready to voice. 
You raised a hand and wordlessly smoothed your thumb between his brows, relaxing his face. He smiled gently as he reached for the helmet on his bike and placed it on your head, pulling the braid you had secured your hair into over your shoulder before fastening the buckle under your chin. When he was done, he tilted your chin up with a finger, staring into your eyes with a softness you weren’t ready to acknowledge. Something shifted last night when you said you would need to move. Like a leg had been kicked out from the stool, you all sat on precariously, waiting to tumble into the unknown. You felt the pull to Mitsuya now, just as you had felt last night with Draken when he had dropped you off, unable to meet your gaze as he left you at your front door with a lingering hold on your hand, afraid that if he let go, it might be the last time he got to do something that had become part of his ritual for far too long. 
You had almost asked him to stay. 
Mitsuya climbed back on the bike and held out a hand to help you on as he steadied it. You would miss this. He would pull your arms around his waist to secure you to his back before shifting into first and slowly easing out onto the main street. This time felt different. Mitsuya needed to feel your arm around him. Needed to feel you pressed against him where you belonged. 
He and Draken had decided long ago to put their feelings aside for your sake. But the thought of you being gone had tipped something in them both last night. The stupidity of their lack of trust in your relationship coming back to haunt them in their sleepless night and late exchange of texts discussing how they could keep you with them. Mitsuya felt that sting now more than he ever had. 
“So, I’m screwed?” You said thirty minutes later in Peh and Pah’s office as they explained your options. 
There wasn’t much to rent, and buying wasn’t an option. You’d either need roommates to afford rent or, as you thought, you’d have to move further away from the area you had grown to love over the past five years. Your home. The sanctuary that you had built. 
“Basically,” Peh grumbled. 
The other original members of Toman knew what you meant to their brothers but, like everyone else, never mentioned it. However, they all respected what had been built between you, knowing that you were what was needed after their lives of turmoil. Even Pah was up to date after some much-needed explanations from Peh. 
Draken had been silent the whole meeting, leaning up against the wall behind you and Mitsuya with his hands balled into fists, shoved into his pockets. He watched as your shoulders deflated at the realization that your one Hail Mary had failed. 
“What if,” Draken spoke quietly into the somber room, “we all found a place? Together.” 
You whirled in your seat, shock written across your face at the suggestion.
Mitsuya hummed in fake contemplation. He and Draken had filtered the idea around last night, only wanting to offer it to you if needed. They knew your independence—how you liked having your own space. 
“I do need a bigger studio. I keep running out of room, but I’m not ready to move to a whole building yet,” Mitsuya said as if he was thinking aloud. It wasn’t necessarily a lie. Simply a slightly grandiose version of the truth.
You whirled on Mitsuya next, blindsided by their offer. 
“But Inui,” you started as you turned back to Draken. He shrugged.
“The shop is doing well enough that he doesn’t need me to split the cost anymore. Plus, getting away from the guy a little more would be nice. Love him, but….” Draken trailed off with another nonchalant shrug. 
They had already discussed this with Pah and Peh, the possibility of moving the three of you into one place. You could afford it, even if they tried to pick up more of the cost. You loved your job— it was your passion. Even if the compensation wasn’t the best at times, you always made it work, and that was one of the things the Twin Dragons admired about you so much. 
Your mind was reeling. You could… you all could. But would that complicate things? How would you all navigate such tight quarters with the feelings you all had been avoiding? The sealed lid you kept on your feelings for both men slowly unraveled, the stitches fraying from years of being overstuffed with everything you felt. 
Mitsuya looked at Pah and Peh. “Give us a minute?”
Both men quickly exited the room, mumbling something about needing to look at other paperwork anyways.
Draken approached you both, hands still in his pockets. He loomed over you, looking down at you with his eyes bouncing between your face and Mitsuya’s.
“This’ll keep you here, sweetheart,” he said uncharacteristically gently. He walks around the chair you sit in and crouches before you, his hands finally coming from his pockets to rest on your knees. The veins in his hands were more prominent than usual from their clenching.
“Stay with us,” he whispered, a soft plea in the words that cracked your heart. Mitsuya looked on, his turn to stay silent. The words coming from Draken would mean more than his own. No jealousy came with that thought— it was just fact. Draken expressing his need for you in the only way he knew how to would be more powerful than Mitsuya saying the exact same thing. You looked at Mitsuya, and that brilliant smile spread across his face, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 
The part of you that feared what this would mean was won out by your need to keep things the same. The knife slowly tipped sideways as you took your phone from your pocket and emailed your landlord.
This is my 30-day notice to vacate.
Draken and Mitsuya deposited your boxes and bed in the primary room, saying something about how you needed the room with the bathroom connected for your privacy against your insistence that Mitsuya needed the space for his work. Mitsuya waved you off, stating he would claim the office as his own, and that was the end of the discussion. 
Somehow, Pah and Peh had found you a three-bedroom, two-bath with an office and spacious living room a perfect distance from D&D Motors, Mitsuya’s mom's home, and the rest of the prior Toman members. Almost like it was “fate.” By now, you knew better. Mikey had “accidentally” let it slip that they had all been searching for something perfect for you three during the whole debacle. No one in your circle seemed keen on the idea that you would have had to leave them. 
You spent the first night in your new home, settled on the floor together, eating takeout. 
Weeks passed. Then months. That unspoken tension continued to build, swirling around you, waiting for one of you to fall into the torrent of unspoken feelings. Maybe it was just you reading too much into the situation, hoping for something that couldn’t possibly be true. Perhaps it was just them making sure you didn’t have to leave and nothing more. Why would it be, after so long together and the moments you had shared? For everything to change now, to shift into something that had stopped crossing your mind for so long, could be nothing more than the pipedream of your unrequited feelings. What was the possibility of being with them and asking them to share you? 
But you couldn’t deny the attraction to them. You couldn’t resist how Draken would pull you into him after a long day, securing you against his side as you watched a movie. You never stopped Mitsuya from tucking you into him, resting his chin on the crown of your head while he basked in all the things that were you. They didn’t stop you when you crawled into their beds, seeking comfort from a sleepless night, falling into a dreamless, fitless sleep as either one unconsciously wrapped an arm around your waist and held you to their warmth. Nothing stopped any of you from the lingering touches on each other’s bodies as you went about your days, passing each other, seeing Draken off to work in the morning, or bidding Mitsuya good luck as he shut himself in his office for another day.
Soon, hugs turned into cupped cheeks with kisses pressed to your forehead. Fitting sessions turned into long gazes and unspoken words as Mitsuya used your body for his latest design. Trips to D&D became bringing dinner and riding home on the back of Drakens bike instead of with Mitsuya because you missed him a little extra that day. Soon, the muddied waters of what had been the shut box had become black with the things none of you would admit. 
Still, it didn’t stop.
“Are you dating them both?” 
You choked on your drink. Hina had called you earlier, asking if you wanted to meet at the little café near her and Takemitchi’s house. She wasted no time in asking the question that had been on everyone’s mind. She had seen the sly kiss Mitsuya had placed against your temple before he left after waving at Hina.
“I…” you said after you could breathe again. “I don’t really have an answer to that.” Although you probably should at this point.
Neither man pressed you for answers. Nor did you to them. Nothing ever went further than what it had all become. However, you knew at times when either would kindly excuse themselves from the room after being close to you for a little too long, gently putting space between your bodies to hide their need for you. They had discussed it in private when you weren’t home, what this all meant, and how to navigate it. Neither one had answers. All they knew was that you belonged with them, no matter what it looked like. If they spent the rest of their lives pining for you, then that’s what they would do; they had agreed. 
“No one would care if that’s what you’re worried about. You all have been dancing around your feelings for years,” Hina said. She was always straightforward with you. It was her job as your best friend. “We all just want to see you happy.”
Happy. But you were happy. Weren’t you? You chewed on your bottom lip. Thoughts raced through your mind about what could happen if you let go. If you let yourself feel the frightening and unending extent of what Draken and Mitsuya meant to you. It was an abyss with no end, and you never wanted it to.
“They both care for you a lot.” 
You knew that, and you said as much out loud.
“That’s not what worries me. What if it all goes to hell if I let myself go with them?”
Hina placed her chin in her hand and leaned across the table slightly. “Do you want them to be with someone else? It’s been almost six years now. I haven’t seen either one so much as look at another woman the way they look at you. I haven’t seen Draken so content to be around someone since we were teenagers. Mitsuya gravitates to you like you’re the sun in his universe. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve caught him looking for you in a crowded room, and he relaxes as soon as he sees you. Love never looks the same for everyone.”
Love.
A stitch on the box buried within you snapped.
You couldn’t think of them with someone else. The thought churned your insides, making you feel sick. It had never crossed your mind that they might eventually seek someone else out, ready to move into a new phase of their lives. It wasn’t jealousy at the possibility, just an unbridled sadness that sank claws into your heart and refused to let go. 
“What do I do?” You whispered the question, knowing the answer. You were afraid to admit it. Afraid to let it all loose and have it come crashing down around you in a torrent of pain and rejection. You knew logically that their actions spoke the opposite of what you were feeling. They could be feeling the effects of whatever this was just as much as you were and were too afraid to bring it up. But what if it was just a comfort to them?
“What if I’m just a placeholder, Hina?”
She giggled, and you cocked an eyebrow at the fit she had. 
“Six years is a long time to be a placeholder. I think you know what you need to do. We all support you guys. Take a chance. You never know what will happen.” 
The phone only rang once before Mitsuya picked up, and he was back with you before you could buy his and Draken's favorite pastries from the tiny café. 
You nervously pushed at your food that night, churned up by your conversation with Hina. If you didn’t do it now, you were worried that you would lose all resolve and never come back to it, content with how things were—intimidated by the unknown. 
Mitsuya cleared his throat, and your eyes snapped to his. He tilted his head to the side slightly, his way of wordlessly asking if something was wrong. You sighed heavily and placed your utensils down. Draken peeked up at you, alerted to the shift by the heavy puff of your breath, his dark hair falling into his face, still wet from the quick shower he had taken upon arriving home.
“I think we all need to talk.” 
Draken and Mitsuya exchanged a look, knowing what was about to happen.
“I’ll clean up,” Mitsuya said as he rose from the table, reaching for your plate. “Meet you in the living room, ‘kay?” 
You swallowed the lump in your throat before standing. Draken held out one of his hands, quickly lacing your fingers together and engulfing your smaller hand in his. His palms were sweaty as he led you to the couch, where you plopped down. He sat in front of you on the floor between your legs and craned his neck back to look at you. You knew what he wanted. 
Your hand carded through his hair, and his eyes fluttered shut as he felt your fingers drag against his skin. He always loved when you’d play with his hair when it was down. Something about the movements felt intimate to him. 
“Everything is going to change. Isn’t it?” You asked softly, breaking the stillness in the room.
“Not if you don’t want it to, but on some level, if this is going where Draken and I think it is, yes. On some level, it will,” Mitsuya answered as he entered the room, taking a spot next to you on the couch, leaning his back against the armrest, and crossing his arms across his chest. He was tense. Eyes full of something that resembled worry. 
“I feel like you guys have been waiting for this conversation to happen for a while.”
“Not so much waiting as hopin’ maybe one day it would happen,” Draken supplied, eyes still shut. He used the excuse of your hands in his hair to avoid looking at you. He knew if he did, any resolve he had built would crumble. His walls he had spent so long refusing to scale, seemed crumbling moment by moment. He had waited so long for this to potentially happen that it felt like a dream. He anticipated waking up at any moment, once again disappointed that he would have to go another day without calling you his. 
“What are we doing here, guys?” You forced the question out after a pregnant pause, hoping one of them would be the one to break it. Your hand glided through Drakens hair that was as dark as the ocean you found yourself in. 
“We’re simply three people living a very complex life together. None of us want to disrupt the peace we have managed to find. I’m gonna be honest with you, though, Princess,” Mitsuya said, leaning forward. “I don’t want to live like this anymore.”
Your heart sank at the words. You didn’t think your heart would instantly shatter at the words you had dreaded. Had you let things go for too long? Had you spent so long denying the way you felt that any chance of saving your relationships was about to go out the window?
Draken opened his eyes as your hands stilled in his hair. Your eyes were lined with tears as your brain went to the darkest place it could find quicker than either could rip you back from falling into it.
“We don’t want to keep dancin’ around how we feel, sweetheart,” Drakens low timber reverberated around the room. 
You looked down at him; it was the first time Draken truly let his walls shatter. You saw it in his eyes, how he felt for you, and the words he couldn’t quite find a way to say. It was all there, hidden in the depths of the swirling blackness that you recognized all too well, as if the depthless abyss you found yourself in at times was him surrounding you. The trickles of light that poked through being Mitsuya. You looked to the other man, and a sad smile worked its way across his delicate features. 
They took your breath away, these men. Each time you looked at them, it was a reminder of how beautiful they both were, from soul to body. Years they had spent by your side, supporting you, fighting for you. Watching and cheering you on as you chase your goals. They had held your hand through the most challenging times and walked beside you, always present. And they knew you had done the same, a steady constant in their lives that they could reach for when they needed you. 
“We know you feel the same, beautiful,” Draken admitted. “Six years is a long time to keep your feelings pushed down.” Your hand carded through his hair once more, a quiet answer to his confession as much as it was one. Because if they knew the depth of what you felt for them, for them both, then that was Drakens way of admitting he understood.
“What does it look like? How can I ask you to share me and be with you both? And what do we tell other people when they ask? At least now an easy “it’s complicated” seems to be enough to stop people from prying,” The questions spilled out of your mouth too quickly, and Mitsuya reached for one of your hands, gripping it tightly.
“Nothing about what we call ourselves or how to respond to people matters. If someone has a way they feel about it, they can keep it to themselves. So we are the only three that matter. And as far as sharing you goes,” a mirthless smirk crept across Mitsuya’s face, and you felt your cheeks flush. “Draken and I are brothers. We’ve been through too much together to let jealousy break us apart. But there would be none if that’s what you’re fear. I’ve watched as he held you for years, and it’s always settled something in me, knowing that you both were happy with each other.”
“Every time Takashi kisses your head, do you know how you sigh and lean into his touch?” Draken asks as he turns between your legs, kneeling before you. Something about the image of Draken knelt between your legs stirred something in you—the stoic, strong, unrelenting man, putting himself in front of you, offering up himself. “I’ve watched it hundreds of times. Each time it puts a tiny smile on your face. Belongin’ to both of us doesn’t mean anything other than that we are both yours.”
You sucked in a shaky breath as a tear slipped from your eyes. Draken caught it before it could fall from your cheek, and you leaned into the touch. A warmth bloomed in his chest at the motion, little sparks of electricity shooting up his arm at the contact. 
“I’ve spent so long keeping it all in check. Refusing to get between you two out of fear. I would never be the reason something comes between you.”
“You’d be the best thing to come between us,” Mitsuya responded quickly. It was something he had thought for years after concluding that he would be okay with sharing you with Draken. No other man was good enough to touch you. None other would be worthy enough to run his hands down your soft skin and hear your bubbling laugh. 
“Lemme kiss you,” Draken whispered, his dark eyes darting between your lips and your eyes. Even if it was once and you realized you couldn’t do it. He would be content for the rest of his life knowing he could taste your lips for a fleeting moment if that were all he was granted. Your tongue poked out between your lips, running along them before you gently bit your lower one. Draken watched each movement, suppressing a groan at the innocent motion. You glanced at Mitsuya, and he nodded. You nodded, and Draken slowly rose onto his knees, placing his hands beside your thighs on the couch before invading your space. The air between you grew thick with each slow movement, giving you time to reconsider and turn away. 
But you didn’t.
With each inch he closed between you, your resolve grew. You wanted to feel his lips against yours. Would they be soft? Would he taste sweet? Or would they be brash and overwhelming like the rest of him in an oh-so-good way? The first touch of his lips to yours was gentle, testing, and teasing—a ghost of a kiss that had you chasing him as he pulled away to gauge your reaction. You reached up and cupped his cheek, pulling him back to you. The kiss was unhurried as he pressed his lips against yours, and you lost yourself in the feeling. 
It was as if the gates you had sealed yourself behind unlocked at the sensation. He was the key that allowed you to let go and be free. You slotted your lips further against his, darting your tongue out between you and running it along his bottom lip, requesting permission. Draken groaned into the kiss, one calloused hand slipping to your thigh, dragging against your bare skin. His skin against yours set you on fire. 
The kiss deepened quickly—tongue dancing with tongue. Teeth bumping as you couldn’t get enough of each other. A fog in your brain promptly settled nothing but the man in front of you breaking through until you felt a hand on your cheek, breaking you away from Draken, and a different set of lips was pressed against yours. Mitsuya was different from Draken. Where Draken took Mitsuya gave. Where Draken devoured, Mitsuya allowed you to lead. He was sweet when Draken tasted of spice. The contrast between the two truly showed just how much they completed each other. 
Your body became aware, every nerve firing simultaneously as Drakens lips met the sensitive skin of your throat, kissing and biting before sucking little marks, marking you as his. He pulled back to look at the marks before pressing closer to you for more, unable to get enough of you now that he could finally touch you the way he had been aching. You didn’t know how you wound up in Mitsuya’s lap with Draken pressed against your back, still kneeling on the floor. 
You were turned once more, Drakens hand cupping your jaw as he pulled your lips back to his, eager to taste you again. He pushed closer against your back, trying to get as much contact with you as possible, and you gasped slightly into the kiss as you felt his erection push against you.
“Ignore it,” he said in between kisses. 
Mitsuya leaned forward to place kisses against your collarbones and neck, leaving his marks against your overly hot flesh. You were overwhelmed by them. They were everywhere. Their hands roamed over your body, leaving nothing untouched as they began to learn you in different ways. 
You didn’t want to ignore it. Mistuya had kept you low enough on his lap that if he was feeling the same as Draken, you couldn’t tell. You wanted to give in to the urges you had for years, fingering yourself in the shower or bed, biting down on anything you could to keep your moans from spilling into the hallway and alerting them to what you were doing. You needed to feel their flesh against your own with no clothes between you.
You reached your hand behind you and gently rubbed it over Draken’s hard cock, and his hips instantly bucked into your hand.
“Fuck,” he let out a strangled moan at the feeling. How often had he dreamt of this? Your hand pressed against him, stroking him to completion, letting his cum spill into your hand that he knew wouldn’t wrap entirely around his girth. 
“Want us to make you feel good, princess?” Mitsuya spoke against the hollow of your ear before nipping your lobe. Your whine against Draken’s lip was the only answer you could provide as he deepened your kiss. Everything they did had you pulsing with need. So long of ignoring how they would send your body into overdrive with a simple touch culminating into this moment when you could finally let go. This feeling was the one you had been missing for so long. And it felt right. To be with them. To have them against you like this. It was the feeling of being so touch-starved for something so magnetic being fulfilled in the way it needed.
You broke from the kiss, sucking down desperate gulps of air. Taking a chance, you pushed your hips against Mitsuya, moaning as the pressure building between your thighs was relieved for a split second, causing the man under you to groan at the sweet sound and friction. He was going to lose himself in you. He did everything he could to keep himself from cumming at the slightest touch. You probably wouldn’t believe it if he told you, but neither man had touched another woman since you came into their lives. Mitsuya gripped your hips tightly, pushing and pulling you along his clothed cock, your foreheads pressed together, breathing mingling as you both panted. Even like this, with the delicious drag of your cunt against him, your orgasm was building. You whimpered as Mitsuya stopped and pulled you off his lap suddenly, having noticed Draken pull away and motion for him to stand you up. 
“What?” You said breathlessly and were quickly answered by Draken pulling off your shorts and panties, tapping you lightly on the thigh to encourage you to step out of them. Your arousal dripped down your thighs, unrestricted by the lack of clothing. He ran a finger through your folds, and your hips twitched as his long, thick finger eagerly sunk into your pussy. 
“So fuckin’ wet,” Draken watched from behind as his finger sunk in and out of your sloppy cunt. Your moans filled the room, and you ground yourself against his hand, looking for more, more, more. 
Draken’s finger pulled from your core, and you grunted in frustration, once again denied of your pleasure. You should have known they would both be teases. Draken laid on his back under you, quickly pulling you down to your knees and positioning you over his mouth, encouraging you to sit. The first swipe of his tongue against you had you seeing stars. Mitsuya lurched forward, once again capturing your lips and swallowing your moans. 
“You taste so fuckin’ good, princess,” Draken’s voice was muffled between your thighs. 
Mitsuya sat back again, a string of saliva connecting you both before it broke, and he wiped it off your chin with a swipe of his thumb. Your eyes were already glossy, lust-blown pupils joining with his own. The lavender of his iris’ was engulfed in darkness as he watched your face contort, and your mouth dropped over at the pleasure Draken was wringing from your body. You reached forward and pulled at his sweats, eager to taste him and feel him heavy against your tongue. 
That smirk returned as he lifted his hips and pushed his sweats and boxers down enough to free his aching cock. The tip was leaking precum, and you instantly leaned forward, licking it from his slit before wrapping your lips around his head and taking him into the hot cavern of your mouth.
“Oh, fuck,” Mitsuya bucked up into your mouth. “Slow— fuck, fuck— slow down, beautiful. You’re gonna make me cum if you keep going like that. God damn, you’re so fucking good.” Mitsuya swept your hair from your face, watching as you looked up at him through your lashes, moaning each time his cock disappeared between your lips. Your moans were muffled around him, and each vibration rocketed him towards the edge quicker and quicker.
Draken’s tongue dipped in and out of your pussy before he locked his lips around your clit and sucked, pulling the bud into his mouth, his tongue flicking over it before he would let go and repeat the process. Your hips ground against his face shamelessly, chasing your high, and Draken was more than willing to get you there. Your taste was sweet. Sweeter than he could have ever imagined—he wanted more. He wanted to feel more of your cunt pulsing around his tongue and hear more of your sweet moans. He wanted to hear you scream as you came on his face, riding out your high, bucking your hips as you came down. It was a sound he was growing addicted to quickly. He dipped his tongue back into you, moving his face side to side as his nose bumped against your clit, giving you the stimulation you craved. Your muffled moans grew around Mitsuya’s cock as Draken worked your pussy like an expert. 
Your hand wrapped around Mitsuya’s cock as you popped him from your lips, the sloppy way you were sucking his cock giving you more than enough to stroke him from base to tip as you focused on chasing your orgasm, too overwhelmed to keep sucking him. Which he wasn’t against. He didn’t want to cum down your throat. He wanted to feel your pussy around him when you made him cum with your body for the first time. He had been dangerously close, panting and throwing his head back as his eyes rolled, losing focus as he felt you bob on his cock. It was the best he had ever felt, the years of knowing each other somehow translating into the knowledge of knowing what he liked. 
“Ken, fuck. Ken, don’t stop. Please, please, please,” your begging was sobbed and broken. So close to your orgasm that you could feel it teetering on edge; one final flick of his tongue against your clit, and you were gone. Your orgasm exploded from your body with a loud scream of the man's name who brought you to it leaving your lips, and he drank down every ounce of your release, groaning at the taste and bucking his hips into the air. He almost came from the sound of his name leaving your mouth. Your legs shook on either side of his head, constricting tightly until he tapped your thigh again, and you shakingly forced them open, allowing him to shimmy out from under you and sit up. 
“You did so fuckin’ good for me, baby,” Draken kissed at your neck before starting to pull your shirt, one he realized was his with a little bit of pride, over your head, quickly unhooking your bra. You smiled at the praise, slowly coming down from the earth-shattering orgasm. Mitsuya’s tongue poked out between his lips as he saw your tits, perfect in every way. He reached up and cupped one, loving how it fits in his hand. He rolled your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pulling it to a taught peak before letting go. You moaned, the slight motion building into overstimulation. 
They rubbed their hands over your body, exploring your curves as your breathing returned to normal. Mitsuya grabbed your sides when your eyes opened and locked with his. He needed you. He needed to feel you wrapped around him. He had managed to calm down enough, determined to get you to cum before he did. He quickly lifted you and placed you back in his lap before wrapping his hand around the base of his cock and rubbing it through your soaked folds. His tip caught on your clit as he did, collecting the wetness before slowly pulling you down on him. 
He looked down to where you were connected, mouth agape as he took in the sight of his cock disappearing into your drenched pussy. His cock was big, longer than girth, but he knew the sting of the stretch was there as he glanced back up at your face, and your eyebrows were pinched together. You both moaned when you were fully seated on him. 
“Oh my god, Taka,” your voice was breathy as you spoke. “You feel so good.” 
He was curved enough that as he gave gentle thrusts into you, you could feel him drag against the sensitive spot tucked against your walls. Each time he did, you relaxed until he could move more freely. Mitsuya angled his hips just enough so that each time he pulled you up and down, the head of his cock would bully that spot over and over. 
“More, Takashi.” His name was a prayer on your lips. His eyes slid shut as he thrust into you, matching each drop of your hips. Your thumb pulled on his chin, forcing him to look at you again. 
“Don’t close ‘em. Wanna see as you fuck me.”
“Holy shit,” Mitsuya breathed, his hips stuttering at your words. 
The couch sank as Draken took up Mitsuya’s original spot, slowly stroking his now-freed cock as he watched. He was mesmerized by the way your tits bounced with each pound Mitsuya pushed into your body. The sound of skin-on-skin mixes with the collective grunts and moans filling the room.
“Play with her tits, Mitsuya.”
Mitsuya instantly complied, returning to his earlier motions of pinching and rolling your nipples between his fingers. His mouth latched onto the other, biting gently and sucking it into a taught peak before letting go to blow cold air over it. Mitsuya could feel your pussy pulsing as he pushed you to another orgasm, gripping and tightening around his cock as he bullied his way in.
“You’re so tight,” he said, pulling your breast back into his mouth, moaning against the skin. “Gonna make me cum. Fuck, I’m gonna cum. C’mon, baby. C’mon. C’mon.” 
Mitsuya’s hand snaked between your bodies, pushing his thumb to your clit and rubbing tight circles into it. Your legs trembled as he did. You felt the fiery building sensation as you neared another high, uncaring as your moans grew in volume, too lost in how you felt. Everything Mitsuya did to your body was rushing you towards the edge, every kiss and snap of his hips enough to clear your mind and fuck you until all that was left was him. The twitch of his cock and the falter in the rhythm of his hips were the signs of his impending release. 
“Gonna cum, Takashi. Cum in me, please, please. Wanna feel your cum.”
“Fuuuck,” the word was drawn out from Draken, and he gripped the base of his cock, fending off the orgasm that threatened to spurt from him at your words. 
Mitsuya’s hips stuttered once more, and his eyes met your glazed-over ones as he pulled you down once, twice, three times more, and your pussy pulsed hard, wrapping him in a vice as you came, sending him over the edge as you milked him for all he was worth. Each spurt of cum was pushed into you with a twitching thrust of his hips, forcing it deep into you. Each time a moan was ripped from the back of his throat, guttural and deep. 
You collapsed against him, chest to chest, while you both panted. Not pulling in oxygen quickly enough to replace what you were losing. Mitsuya cupped your cheek, pressing gentle kisses against your lips, and you moaned gently into him. He slowly pulled you off his softening cock with a whimpering moan, unashamed of the sound that left him. He watched his cum leak from your abused cunt and down your thigh. Your body was like jelly as he handed you to Draken, who was waiting, cock rock hard and begging to be buried in you. 
You hummed gently, lifting a hand and carding it through your next new lover's hair. His eyes were soft as he assessed you, looking for any signs of discomfort. 
“Hey, handsome.” 
“Think you can go one more, baby?” Draken gently kissed your jaw, continuing down your neck and back up before slowly locking his lips with yours. He knew your body was worked over. He had waited this long. But, if he needed to wait longer, he gladly would. You reached between you and gripped his cock, pumping once before running your finger over the tip, collecting the precum, and stroking him again. Draken hissed at the contact between his teeth, a sharp intake of air.
Mitsuya chuckled from behind you. “Think that means she’s ready.”
Draken let you line his cock up with your entrance, and you slowly sank down, whimpering at the feel of him, at the stretch that knocked the breath from your lungs. He was bigger than Mitsuya, and you were thankful for the two orgasms they coaxed you to. 
“Take it slow, baby,” Draken said through gritted teeth. “So fucking tight.”
Mitsuya hummed in agreement. Watching as you sank yourself down. Watching your back muscles flex and twitch as you took Draken into your core was intoxicating. Your arms wrapped around the corded muscles of his neck, and you leaned forward, capturing his lips in a searing kiss. It was art, the way he observed you. If he could draw this moment, capture how you looked now, pressed against Draken’s body as his hands flexed on your hips, grounding himself to this universe, he would. 
Draken resisted every urge to thrust himself up into you or pin you to the couch and push your legs to your chest to pound into your tight cunt relentlessly. He wanted you to have this moment. To let you give yourself to him in your way and your time. It was a level of control he could offer you as you bared yourself to him. Draken wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly close. He gave a testing thrust of his hips upwards, and you met the motion with a roll of your hips. You pushed up on your knees, and Draken planted his feet on the couch, allowing himself the leverage to thrust up into your gushing pussy. Each time the sloppy sounds of your slick mixed with Mitsuya’s cum spurred him on more.
You could tell he was holding back. His arms trembled with restraint, and each grunt against the skin of your neck was strained, rumbling from deep within his chest. Your hand tangled in the hair at the base of his neck, and you gripped tightly, pulling back with a yank. He gasped, his eyes turning feral. 
“Stop holding back, Draken.” 
A growl burst from his chest, and Mitsuya was moving before either of you, anticipating Draken's movement as he slammed your back onto the couch, capturing your hand between one of his and pinning them above your head. Draken slotted himself back between your thighs, slamming his cock back into you, going deeper than you had ever anticipated. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he started roughly pulling back and sinking into you with a sharp slap of his hips. You hooked a leg around his lower back, angling your hips to allow him to bump up against your g-spot. Tears gathered on your lash line with each thrust. Each choked moan only spurred Draken on as he drank in the sight of you below him, utterly pliant in his hands. 
“Such a good fuckin’ girl. Taking our cocks so well,” Drakens words fell from his lips mindlessly, unable to hold them back any longer. “Want me to fill you up, baby? Wanna feel my cum in there with Takashi’s and watch it drip outta your pretty cunt. Our pretty cunt.” 
His words were music to your ears, bouncing around in your empty head and filling it with the image of what he described. You never wanted anything more. To be marked by these two men, pumped full of their cum, staking the claim on you that they had spent so many years imagining. 
Mitsuya’s eyes were glued to your face, and he resisted the urge to stroke his cock as it twitched to life once more. He watched as your moans grew into silent screams, unable to let out anything more than gasps of air each time Drakens hips slammed against yours. He watched as your eyes rolled back once more and your chest arched off the couch, and your legs shook, quickly realizing these were the signs that you were about to cum. The sharp intake of breath from Draken confirmed as your pussy gripped him tighter, sucking him in deeper, begging for more, more, more, just as your vision whited out and you came with a muted cry. 
“Fuck. That’s it, sweetheart. So. Fucking. Tight.” Every word was accentuated with a thrust, coaxing you through your high until he finally stilled, body shaking as he let go, letting his orgasm ripple up his back. Spurt after spurt of hot cum emptied into you, stuffing you impossibly full. Draken pushed his forehead to yours, rubbing at your wrists where he held them as he panted, eyes shut and hair sticking to his face. He gently eased out of you once his cock had softened, and the mixture of your, his, and Mitsuya’s cum leaked from your abused hole. He ran two fingers through it, pushing it back in, smirking as you whimpered at the touch.
“That’s so fucking hot,” Mitsuya lamented beside you as he tapped Draken’s shoulder with a cold water bottle. You didn’t know when he had disappeared and returned just as quickly. His sweats were back in their place, and his shirt was gone. You took a moment to soak in the sight while Draken pulled you up and into his lap, holding you close against his sweat-slick body. Mitsuya opened the top of your water bottle and handed it to you. The cold liquid was a balm to your horde throat, raw and overused from the screams and moans. 
“You did so well, Princess,” Mitsuya said against the crown of your head as he pressed his lips to it. 
Draken grunted in agreement, tucking his head into the crook of your neck. Your scent was a mix of your own and theirs now. In a primal way, some part of him preened at the smell. 
You were finally theirs. 
Draken had never been so sure of something in his life that this was how it was meant to be. 
Mitsuya held your hand tightly as you walked down the street, heading toward D&D Motors. Mikey had called your boyfriend earlier, a giggle in his voice as he asked you to meet him at the shop. Mitsuya had rolled his eyes when the call ended, unphased by Mikey’s antics and dreading what he could be planning. Draken had also gotten the call, annoyed that he would be going into the shop on his day off. 
You glanced down at your phone as it buzzed in your freehand.
“Oh, Draken just got there. He said he’s going to wait for us out front.”
You turned the corner a few moments later and skipped a little as you saw Draken standing there, hands tucked tightly into his pockets. Mitsuya let your hand slip from his as you rushed forward, flinging yourself into the bigger man's arms, and he oofed as he steadied himself with a step back at your force. 
“Hey, baby. Miss me?” 
You pressed a kiss to his lips as you nodded. He had been out running errands all morning, picking up parts for customers, and visiting other shops in the area. 
“What does Mikey have planned?”
Draken rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around your shoulders as Mitsuya finally closed the distance between you at his leisure pace. “Hell only knows with him.”
The bell over the door jingled as Draken pushed it open. The shop was dark as you entered and looked around. You did see anyone.
“Yo! Mikey!” Draken called into the shop.
“Back here, Ken-chin!” His best friend yelled back from where all the parks were parked. Mitsuya cocked an eyebrow at you both before leading the way. 
You all pulled to a stop when you saw all your friends crowded into the area and a banned over their heads that read, “It’s About Damn Time!” 
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maidragoste · 5 months
Text
Chapter One: The Reaping
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The Hunger Games AU
Katniss!Jacaerys x Peeta!Reader (I labeled it that even though Jace's backstory is different from Katniss's but he and Reader will be the star-crossed lovers of district 12)
Chapter Two
I really hope you like it because I'm so excited to write this au!
Please let me know what you think in the comments, as always, likes and reblogs are appreciated too 💖💖
My inbox is open so I'm always willing to read your headcanons, opinions and answer your questions.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
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Jacaerys entered the Victors' Village, not that he was a victor. In fact, his name had never come up in the reaping. But he and his brothers lived there since his uncle Larys took care of them after his father died in the middle of an explosion in the mines while working.
The teenager quickly quickened his pace while adjusting his grip on the only two squirrels he had brought from all the ones he had hunted during the morning with Baela, his best friend. He may not have needed to hunt for food anymore but he was one of the few people in District 12 who knew how to hunt. Some people had depended on bartering with his father to bring a plate of food to his table. His father would not have wanted him to leave those people abandoned, so every day he sneaks into the forest with Baela to look for deer, rabbits, squirrels, birds, fish, or any type of edible vegetable or fruit. He always gave the best goods to Baela, after all, she had more mouths to feed with her mother, her twin sister, and her two little brothers. But the rest he exchanged with the merchants or even sometimes he practically ended up giving away his merchandise due to the low price that he was willing to accept from the families that he knew did not have enough to eat to prevent them from ending up asking for more tesserae. Uncle Larys had never told him but Jacaerys knew that he thought he was a fool for doing that.
Jacaerys hated the silence in the village but it was no surprise considering that of the twelve houses there, the only house that was being inhabited was his uncle's. Of the seventy-three Hunger Games that have been held so far, there have only been two victors from District 12 and the only one still alive is Larys Strong.
Jace hurried into the house trying to ignore the heaviness in his stomach.
“I told you Luke would throw up again this year! You owe me!” was the first thing Joffrey, his youngest brother, said when he saw him.
Lucerys, or Luke as his dad had nicknamed him, was the middle brother, and every year he had the worst time during Repairing; which was the moment when the District escort went up to the podium and then took a random piece of paper from each glass urn, one containing the names of all the boys between twelve and eighteen years old and another with the names of the girls. This was how the tributes were chosen for each Hunger Games. Like any coherent person in District 12 Luke feared being chosen as a tribute and unlike Jacaerys he could not hide his fear.
“Take this to the kitchen,” the oldest of the brothers asked, handing the squirrels to Joffrey before running to the bathroom.
When Jacaerys entered he found Luke hunched over, holding the toilet bowl. Ignoring the smell of vomit he hurried to his brother's side and with one hand began to rub soothing circles on Luke's back while the other brushed the hair from his face. He doesn't know how many minutes they stayed like this until the youngest finally stopped vomiting.
"I'm sorry, Jace" Luke apologized with a broken voice and tears on his cheeks, clearly feeling ashamed for being in the same position for another year. "I really tried."
"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for," Jacaerys denied as he helped him up from the floor. "It's okay to be afraid. Only an idiot wouldn't be afraid."
"Joffrey is not afraid," the youngest murmured after cleaning his face.
Joffrey must have been the only thirteen-year-old in District 12 who wasn't horrified at the thought of his name coming up in the Reaping. Jacaerys believed it was because Joff thought he would be able to win the games just by being a relative of a victor. Also, of the three, Joff seemed to want Uncle Larys's validation and attention the most. In these three years living with him he had never told them that he loved them but Jace thought that he should at least care a little about them because otherwise he could have let the authorities take them to the community orphanage instead of taking care of them.
"I told you, an idiot," Jace said, managing to get a small laugh out of Lucerys. "Listen, Luke. Everything will be fine. You never asked for a tessera so your name is only on four pieces of paper."
In the first year when you started to be part of the Reaping, they put your name only once in the bowl. But every time you have a birthday they add another paper with your name on it. If you do not ask for any tessera then it is assumed that you will reach the age of eighteen with only seven papers.
Jacaerys always tried to reassure his brother, and also himself, saying that the chances of his name coming up were low compared to all the people who had to ask for tesserae to be able to eat.
"Lucerys, Jacaerys, start getting ready for the Reaping" Larys ordered from below. There was no need for him to shout as the house was silent.
"Take a bath, you stink" Jacaerys mocked, ruffling Lucerys's hair before leaving him in the bathroom.
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"Happy Hunger Games! and may the odds be ever in your favor!" greeted Effie Trinket, the District 12 companion, with the same excitement as in previous years.
While Effie gives a speech about what an honor it is for her to be there as a companion, Jacaerys's eyes meet Baela's. She smiles at him and he struggles to return it. Baela is so brave, he doesn't know how she isn't trembling with fear knowing that her name is at least twenty times. Maybe in recent years she was no longer asking for tesserae but before Jacaerys moved in with his uncle she had.
"Ladies first!" said Effie announcing that it was time for the drawing. She approaches the urn with the girls' names and then reaches deep inside and takes out a piece of paper. You can feel the tension in the air and for a moment everyone seems to hold their breath until Effie opens the paper and I read it "Y/n Y/l!"
Shit. Jacaerys knew you. He had seen you more than once at the bakery when he went to buy or exchange his merchandise with your father. Not only that but you two share classes together at school. You weren't friends. But you were still there for his brothers when he was too devastated by the death of his father to care about anyone else. You were the one who stopped some idiots from bothering Luke at school, you were the one who helped Joffrey with his homework to prevent him from repeating a grade, and you, in the only conversation you ever shared, reminded him that he was important to the District, that his brothers needed him, that he could not abandon them, that his father would not have wanted to see him as a ghost in life, that he would have wanted him to help the people of the District.
Jace had to go say goodbye to you, his gratitude may be three years late but he needed to thank you for taking care of his brothers when he had failed them and remind him that he had a purpose.
Jacaerys watches you move towards the stage. Your posture is straight, your chin up and your steps are firm but he can see the uncertainty in your eyes. You still look pretty in your pink dress, it wasn't glamorous at all—no one in the district wears glamorous clothes—but in his eyes, you stood out. It's probably because, unlike other girls in the district, your clothes didn't hang off and your bones didn't show, you didn't look like someone who was malnourished.
Maybe with your beauty and if you had a good interview you could get lucky and captivate a sponsor, he thought. He hoped that this year his uncle would try even harder to bring home a winner.
Once you are on stage Effie asks for volunteers. Of course, no one offers.
“Now it's time to meet our male tribute!” Effie announces, rushing to the boys' urn and pulling out the first piece of paper she sees, “Lucerys Strong!”
This must be a nightmare, Jacaerys thought. They were supposed to be safe, they had never asked for tesserae. He was snapped out of his stupor by hearing Joffrey's desperate cries calling for Luke as his brother began to walk with fear and tears in his eyes to the stage. Jace didn't even think about it, he broke out of his formation and started running after Lucerys.
“I'm a volunteer!” he shouted when the peacekeepers grabbed him, wanting to take him away from Lucerys. “I volunteered as a tribute!” he repeated, standing up straight, once they released him.
"Magnificent!" Effie exclaimed, happy because there was finally some action in the District. "But you are supposed to present the winner of the reaping first and then ask for volunteers…"
"Just let him up," the mayor interrupted her sharply, clearly upset by the situation. He knew Jacaerys because he always bought strawberries from him and Baela.
“No, Jace!” Lucerys said with a trembling voice, still shaking her head. “You can't!”
“Go to Joffrey” the eldest brother ordered firmly, he wanted to hug Luke but he was afraid that if he did he would also start crying and he couldn't do it knowing that the cameras were filming everything. He couldn't appear weak. “Go,” he repeated, pushing him aside and heading to the stage without looking back.
Jacaerys' brown eyes meet yours and the heaviness in his stomach increases. He would have to kill you if he wanted to come home, you, the person who pushed him to move forward after her father's death. He had never thanked you and much less would he do so now knowing that in a few days, he may be the one who ended up killing you. Obviously, luck was not on his side but if you died he really hoped that it would be another of the tributes who would end up taking your life. If it became him and he managed to win the games, Jacaerys was sure that there would not be a day in which he would not think of you.
"Wonderful!" Effie exclaimed once the young man finished climbing the stairs. "What's your name?"
"Jacaerys Strong," he answered.
"I'll bet my shoes he was your brother. You didn't want him to steal your glory, did you?" The companion's smile disappeared before the furious looks of the victor and the tributes. "Good! Let's give a big round of applause to our new tribute!"
But no one applauds. The entire District demonstrates its disagreement with its silence. Not only that, but many people begin to bring the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and then point them at Jacaerys. He looks shocked as they give him that gesture. It was not a common thing to be used in the District but every once in a while, someone would do it during funerals. It was a gesture of giving thanks, of admiration, of farewell to a loved one. The same gesture they had made at his father's funeral. Jacaerys feels a lump form in his throat. He can't help but look at you, this was thanks to you, if you hadn't reminded him that the District needed him like they needed his dad then maybe he would have continued in silence staring into nothingness, living mechanically instead of starting to help people like his dad used to do.
The mayor begins to read the Treaty of Treason. Once he finishes he instructs you and Jace to shake hands. Jacaerys notices that your hand is a little smaller than his and he feels warm against hiss. You catch him off guard when you squeeze his hand as if to encourage him. He returns the gesture even though he knows he shouldn't, it wasn't the time to become friends.
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imaginesmai · 7 months
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Right around the corner - Azriel (5)
AHHHHH this is the final part and let me tell you I'm SAD. It was so hard to write the ending you all deserve after all this love, so I tried my best. Let me know what you think! Also, you deserve A LOT, so I made it long hehehe. Don't worry, a request about the RATH universe is coming soon! If you want one too, drop it in my inbox!
(1), (2), (3), (4)
Plot: The story of how Azriel fixed what was broken, and how you forgave him.
Warnings: this is sad, but has a happy ending! Also, mental health issues.
No one expected the sidra to froze that year, and against everyone expectation, one day Velaris had woken up to see the riven covered by a silver layer. Children had missed school to skate in the solid surface, parents watching carefully from the edge. Some couples were skating too, holding hands and giggling endlessly.
You had been watching the new scene unfold all morning. And while you usually loved snow and ice as much as any child in town, you were starting to get a little sick of all the noise.
It wasn’t your new employee situation, who had been staring at the river all morning. She had already finished her duties, but always the polite and nice girl, Elain Archeron was keeping you company.
When you spotted for the third time the familiar red-head through the glass and she didn’t say anything, just sighed, you decided you had enough.
“You should tell him to get in before he freezes to death” you commented, still busy with measuring the ingredients.
“Oh, no” Elain blushed and looked away from the window. “No. He’s just… He can wait”
“He can, but doesn’t have to. You and Lucien should head out, rent ice skates and have a fun day. You already finished here” you smiled kindly at her, and before she could reply, you added. “I’m fine, I don’t even like cold weather. And I still need to finish this, which you can’t help me with. So, go”
Elain stared at you with uncertainty, and you tried to look as convinced as possible. Would you have liked her to stay? After all, she was one of the few people you socialized with these days. She had turned in when you opened the bakery again, right after you posted the sign about looking for a new partner.
And even if you had had your doubts when you discovered she was Feyre’s sister and Azriel’s friend, you considered her your own friend.
So, yeah, you would have liked her to stay. Because you were still awfully sad all the time, and her company was one of the few things that made your day better. But you being sad didn’t excuse her missing a wonderful day with her mate.
“It’s not closing time yet” her eyes danced between the glass and you. “He was supposed to wait for me at the house”
“Guess he’s too eager to see you. He’s been dancing around the bakery for a good hour” you chuckled. “Elain, I mean it. Go. Have fun. I’ll see you on Monday”
“Y/N, I promise I don’t mind waiting. It’s not like it will unfreeze”
“And I promise I don’t mind at all. So, go, have fun and tell me about it on Monday” you gripped her hand softly over the counter, nodding to the waiting mal outside. “Come on, go”
Lucien was once more outside the bakery, the only visible part of him his red hair. He was covered in thick layers, but still managed to smile when Elain kissed your cheek and took her coat on the way out.
You didn’t have it in you to watch them be affectionate with each other, so you looked down at your task and decided it would be the last of the day.
It was hard watching all those couples walking hand in hand and remembering the feel of his warm, scarred hand in yours. To hear a man laughing and remember the unexpected laughs you dragged out of him sometimes. Even looking at the river was painful, because you could almost see the ghost of Azriel and you learning how to skate in a frozen lake in the Illyrian mountains a few years ago.
You had seen Azriel around a few times now, walking through your bakery and waving at you through the glass. Two times he had been waiting at the door when it was late at night, silently walking you home from afar without talking. Almost two months had passed by and your feelings were still as messed up as before.
Though you didn’t cry as much as before, and you were starting to get better, you still wondered.
If Azriel getting help would mean your relationship would be fixed, or if it was broken permanently. Deep in your thoughts, and used as you were to Azriel’s shadows, you didn’t notice how they tugged on your apron until the door sounded again.
Elain’s name didn’t leave your lips, because as soon as the door opened, you lost your breath.  As if you had summoned him, Azriel walked through the door, beautiful as ever. He wasn’t in his usual training leather, but winter clothes that fit him as a glove. Instantly, you noticed he had lost weight. His shoulders were slumped and his body didn’t carry the usual grace of an Illyrian warrior.
“Hi”
His scarred hands, that had held you so many times and slaughtered so many enemies, were tucked in his coat’s pockets. You could feel the nervousness through the bond, the hesitance. Too stunned to answer, you only stared at him.
You had known that, eventually, he would talk to you. That you would have to do more than just wave at each other through the glass and stay silent when he sent you details through Elain. But still, you hadn’t expected it.
Unable to move, you only blinked.
“I saw Elain and Lucien heading out” he added, not looking away from you. “It’s a nice day outside”
Azriel hadn’t finished before one of his new shadows scaped his control, sneaking around the counter. The familiar ones, that had been by your side since he left, danced around the new intrusion. It lifted your apron, and crawled up your neck.
The cool feeling was the last of your worries, because no matter how much you willed yourself to say something, you couldn’t even tear your eyes from him.
The bond flickered between the two of you, once more. Knowing that it was one-sided, that he didn’t wear it like you did, made break your trance.
“She’s finished for the day” you explained, sounding way more confident that what you felt.
“It’s a nice day, yeah” he repeated, not giving you time to feel awkward before he continued “I thought that maybe you wanted to take a walk with me. It’s cold, but we could… get coffee. Or chocolate, if you want”
Azriel gave you a half, broken smile. Hearing his voice again made you take ten steps backward.
“I have things to do”
You looked down to your current task, which could be easily discarded. You had left much important things half-done because of him, and you would have done it normally without a second thoughts. But no matter how heartful the conversation at your door had been, you just knew you weren’t ready to have a conversation without getting angry.
You knew you weren’t ready to forgive him.
His new shadow gripped your wrist tightly before disappearing, and you heard Azriel’s doubt. He wanted to say something else, and you wanted too. Still, you fell back to your measuring and ignored the way your vision blurred, how your knees became weak again.
Maybe going back to your duties was the only way not to break down again.
The silence continued for a long minute. You couldn’t not feel his presence, the way his scent filled the bakery and made your stomach turn. Your heart recognized what you needed, what you wanted, and threatened to jump out of your chest.
Before you could regret your words, Azriel opened the door again.
“You’re forgetting the yeast” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
When you looked up again, he only smiled. You opened your mouth to tell him to wait, maybe to fuck off and never come again. You didn’t have time, because Azriel closed the door behind him and he was gone.
The first tear fell against the unformed dough, followed by many more. You wouldn’t be finishing the blueberry cake that afternoon, you realized, as you crunched behind the counter and cried.
-
There was a storm coming, and everyone in Velaris had had the same idea – run to the market, buy everything they needed for a few days, and crowd themselves at home with their loved ones. You were trying to follow the first part of the plan, not having anyone to go home anymore. And if that wasn’t enough reason to drag you down, the crowd was getting intense.
Velaris’ market was a beautiful place, full of shops and nice vendors. But that day, the space felt too small.
You already had a few bags with you, yet there were a few more to go. Wanting to finish as soon as possible, you had ignored the rational part of your brain and had gotten in the middle of the crowd. You had only managed to buy milk and pasta, and still had a long way to go.
After Azriel’s brief appearance, your life had been messier than before. He had come by the bakery at least five times more, always offering you some kind of plan you rejected. Going to the park, for a flight or to a coffee shop. Taking walks, watching the sunset or training together.
You lived now half-prepared to see him walking through your door again, and not having the heart to tell him no. You weren’t sure if that thought frightened or comforted you.
In your haste, you had almost forgotten to buy provisions for the storm, and had found yourself on the worst day to do them. Crowded, loud and suffocating, that was how you would describe the market at that moment.
The fact that most people ran with their children and family wasn’t helpful at all.
Most of the times, it was Azriel who did the last-minute shopping for you. He knew you didn’t like crowds, loud places, that you did best in your bakery where only five people were allowed at a time.
Another shove broke you down from your daydreaming, and you looked back to see a pregnant woman staring with her eyebrows furrowed.
“The line is moving” she spatted, pointing to the small space ahead of you. “If you don’t move with it, you should step out”
“Oh, no” you chuckled softly. You picked up the bags on the ground and took the two small steps that you were supposed to. “Sorry, I just thought I could take a little bit more space. It’s crowded here”
“I don’t mind crowds, so if you want to step back, let me get first. I’m in a hurry”
“Me too” you gave her a polite smile, mindful of her state.
The short distance that separated you from the customer on the front was certainly not enough, and she knew it. Still, she looked at you with disapproval. There were only five more people to go until it was your turn, you could buy your snacks and run to the next stall.
You thought you could ignore the glare at the back of your neck, and you did for a few minutes. Without meaning to, you thought how everything with Azriel was easier. Not only people wouldn’t dare to talk to him like that, but also, he assured you a good meter of distance between you two and the rest of the world with his wings.
The snacks on your hands almost fell when, not even two seconds after the man took three steps forward, you were shoved again.
That time, when you looked back, the woman was accompanied by her mate. His wings covered her from the people behind them.
“You should really step out of the line” she repeated. “You might have all the time in the word, but we are in a hurry”
“Me too. You can’t expect me to be glued to that man” you tried to explain, anxiety coiling in your stomach. “He just moved”
“And you didn’t, which proves my point. Besides, it’s obvious you only have a few things. We have more”
“Which should be enough reason to let me go first, not only because I was here before you” you shrugged, feeling even more uncomfortable when the male huffed a laugh. “Maybe it’s you who shouldn’t have come here today if you can’t wait in a line”
You weren’t a threat for the woman, and you were trying really hard to be polite and prove your point. Besides, being pregnant wasn’t an easy task, and you could tell she was far along. Maybe you should have let her pass, or maybe told her to fuck off.
But before you could argue further, something clicked in the male’s eyes, wide with recognition.
And you would have preferred for him to go full berserk mode on you. Because you recognized that look, you had been receiving them for a while now.
The male elbowed the woman’s side softly, pointing with his chin towards you. You didn’t have time to turn back and avoid the conversation, because he spoke.
“You’re the shadowsinger’s mate” he announced, loud enough to make a few heads turn.
“Oh” the woman finally connected the dots and lunged forward to grab your arm so tight you couldn’t shake her off. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry” you pushed your arm back, trying to let go.
While the woman apologized, you couldn’t help but listen to the whispers. The same ones you had heard in your bakery and through the streets. Some of them thrown in your face by rude or nosy customers that didn’t understand the concept of privacy, others by bystanders.
At the end, it was the woman who said it out loud, confirming what everyone in the small circle that had formed at the cue was wondering about. She finally let go of your arm and crossed hers in front of her body.
The look of pity wasn’t as bad as the confirmation.
“He rejected you, right?” it wasn’t a question, not when you didn’t answer and she continued. “We heard you’ve been mated for almost a century and he doesn’t want the bond. Is that true?”
It wasn’t true, but you didn’t have the heart to correct her. Instead, you turned around and used your wing-less privileges to sneak through the crowd. You kept your head down, as if that could stop you from hearing the comments or feeling the stares.
People had come up with an alternative version where Azriel and you had been mated for decades, for centuries. Where you had cheated on him or he had changed you for someone else. You had even heard that he had bonded with another person and had kicked you out of the house, and that you had been the one rejecting the bond.
Each version was farthest from the truth than the last one, but they all hurt the same. The crowd didn’t seem to get thinner no matter how deep you got in the market. Once the people who had heard the conversation were left behind, new people crowded you, worried about the girl panicking and running through the middle of the market.
There were a few occasions where you thought you would fall, where you tripped and almost embarrassed yourself farther. You had almost made it to the back entrance of the market when you finally realized you were tripping no more. There was no longer a crowd around you, nor whispers or hands reaching your way.
It took you another few steps to fully stop and assess the situation. When you looked back to see where the crowd was, you were met with a broad chest inches away from you. Through tearful eyes, you recognized Azriel’s wings tucking you away from people, his mere presence pushing them away.
You met his hazel eyes, full of worry and regret. His hair was longer, covering his brow, but you found comfort in his crooked nose, in his freckles, that you knew so well.
You noticed in his hands your bags that had been left in the stall, a new one with the snacks you were about to buy.
“What – what are you doing here?” you choked out, too grateful for the sudden moment of peace to wonder about anything else.
“I felt you through the bond, a few hours ago. Anxious and…” he stopped himself, his eyes scanning every tear that marked your cheeks. “I was just getting here when it got worse. I heard most of it. I’m –”
“Don’t say you’re sorry” you interrupted him. “It’s not your fault”
Out of the many things that were indeed his fault, people not minding their own business wasn’t his. You were used to him blaming himself for everything, from wars in other courts to people fighting in the street. The response came naturally.
Your nose was cold and runny, your hands frozen in your pockets, and your feet hurt. Besides all of that, you felt all wrong. Because you enjoyed his presence, because what they said, and because you couldn’t help but calm down when he was close.
Azriel didn’t say anything when you took the bags from his hands, thanking him quietly. He didn’t say anything as more people walked away from him, either because of his wings or because they recognized him.
“You don’t like last minute shopping”
It was a pointless observation, but it was better than to comment on how afraid he had been when, just outside the market, he felt the bond snap with urgence. His shadows knew where you were, and that you needed him, but even he had trouble running through crowds. Azriel also couldn’t talk about how mad he had been at everyone in that stall, how his new shadows had turned off every light and almost chocked them to death.
Azriel wanted to say that you were probably cold because you didn’t like your own coats, and most of the times wore one of his. He wanted to hug you, too, to feel you between his arms after what felt like an eternity and promise you that it would end well.
But he couldn’t say anything more than the obvious.
“I had to” you answered.
With a furious fist, frustrated at life, at him and at you, you brushed the tears off your cheeks. You could tell that he wanted to keep talking, and you did too. Since your last encounter, you had come up with more conversations you should have.
You stared at each other for what seemed forever. There were details that you had almost forgotten in your sorrow – like his long lashes, that you teased him about. Or the freckle that snuck up to the corner of his left eye. The way his mouth rose higher from the right, and the small scar on his ear from where Cassian dared him to wear an earring.
Only his face was enchanting enough to help you forget about the day, about the weight of your chest. It was the first closing call from the market, that sounded through the public speakers, that broke you away.
“I should go”
“I should go”
You talked at the same time, and you smiled softly when you pointed to different directions. You didn’t miss how his eyes fell to your mouth, how his own lifted up too.
“I could walk you back” he offered, not tearing his eyes away from your mouth. “If you let me”
You didn’t answer immediately. Those last words, that he had repeated so often lately, almost had you saying yes. You could almost imagine how it would go – him walking by your side, one of his wings behind your back. His elbow brushing yours, and his gaze fixed on you.
Your smile dropped when you remembered the times you had walked just like that, tucked together. The times you had waked by yourself through Velaris with his imprint on you, and the times he had left without a trace of your presence.
Azriel knew the answer before you said it, and his shoulders dropped slightly.
“Sorry”
That time, you decided to turn away before he could. Taking the back exit was a poor choice, knowing it was farther from your house than the main one, but you couldn’t picture yourself walking through the market without Azriel keeping the crowds a step away.
So you turned around, gripped your bags tight and didn’t tear your eyes from the ground during the whole way back.
-
It wasn’t Azriel who found you the time everything changed, but you.
The cold and winter were over, the streets were clean and the sun was out. It was a perfect day to spend outside, and Elain seemed fixed in throwing you out of your own shop. She claimed that the bags under your eyes were as dark as the night, and that your skin was so pale that she couldn’t tell the flour stains apart from it.
“Just for the record, you’re kicking the owner of the bakery out of the bakery” you stated, looking at her once more from the door. “You do realize that shouldn’t happen, right?”
“I’m helping a friend come out of her ghost-like season” she replied, still decorating muffins. “And you do realize that most shops close on Sunday’s, right?”
“Certainly not a bakery” you looked to the empty fountain at her right. “If we do it together, we will – “
“If you touch one single item of this bakery, I’m banning you from the kitchen for a month”
You doubted she meant it, she could. But still, you sighed and turned around to open the door. You weren’t an extrovert, certainly not an outsider. Since you were a child, you liked your kitchen, your house, and your space. And none of those things were outside the door.
But you actually feared what the fae you left behind would do if you turned back. Elain had already hidden your apron so you couldn’t put it on, and had threatened to mismatch the soy milk with normal one.
Giving her a last, tight smile through the glass, you walked towards the center of Velaris.
Not many people were outside that soon on a Sunday morning, but you were glad for her insistence the moment the sun kissed your face. The cold weather was disappearing and you could feel warmth across your cheeks. It was still cold, and it would be for at least another week, but the change in the weather promised a happy spring.
You walked aimlessly around Velaris, stopping to watch the Sidra move every now and then. Your feet carried you through unfamiliar streets, all of them filled with colors and smells. The longer you walked, the healthier you felt. Each step felt like a weight lifted from your chest, and you even smiled to a few usuals you found in the streets.
The main square peeked through the streets. It wasn’t your usual destination, too crowded and not as pretty as other parts of the town. But you still walked through it, feeling at ease and happy.
It had happened before, usually the days before you started your cycle, and you should have known the feeling of ease had nothing to do with the weather or the walk. It had happened and it happened again, just as you rounded a corner to walk in the square.
If, by any chance, Azriel hadn’t noticed you coming, the shadows that tugged him away from where he was standing would have made it obvious.
His eyes widened when he saw you, and you felt that peaceful feeling making its home for the day. There was no sorrow, no sadness, and none of the usual feelings that lately you felt when it came to him.
You cursed yourself stupid when you realized that you cycle was coming, and that every year you were in a mood until Azriel showed up, your hormones demanding your mate.
“Y/N”
Your name fell from your mouth and just by hearing it you noticed something different. It was new, and at the same time, you thought you recognized it somehow. You looked to his empty hands, to the syphons on his shoulders and chest and truth-teller on his side.
It looked like you had interrupted something important to him. But instead of running away from him like the last two times, you took a step closer.
“Are you going on a mission?” you pointed with your chin to his leather, eyes stopping at his chest. There was that thing, that you couldn’t name.
“Just came back. I was…”
Azriel looked to the building he just exited and for a moment, in silence. You had met a bunch of times since the incident in the market, and you had started having longer conversations. About the weather, about your bakery, and even about his family, who you finally knew officially.
Certainly, your relationship had improved, although it wasn’t just fixed yet. When he didn’t answer, you were reminded of all the times he had kept things to himself, either out of fear or doubt.
He seemed to doubt between telling you and keeping it to himself. Any other time, you knew, he would have kept it to himself. He had done it, in the past – when you asked him about his job, or tried to understand his past. Many times where he had evaded the truth or his emotions.
Your mood, that had been in a rush since you left the bakery, fell a little at his silence. He looked torn and you were ready to leave, before he answered.
“This is Madja’s house. I meet her here so we can talk, usually during the week” he looked back at you, watching the surprise of his statement. “But something happened and I needed to talk to her”
“What happened?”
Azriel’s lips were pressed tight, debating on whether he should tell you or not. He wouldn’t have doubted about it a year ago – he wouldn’t tell you, because in his eyes, it would only hurt you more than he already had. But he had learnt new things, and had realized that a relationship was built on trust. And that his fears, his perception of the reality, had broken yours.
He had cut the mission short when he had noticed, though he wasn’t sure he had ever done something like that. Azriel didn’t know what had triggered it, why it happened in the Winter court and not anytime sooner.
Madja, of course, had had an answer ready – an answer that had left him staring at her door for long twenty minutes before you appeared.
“Kallias should have sent something to Rhysand, but he didn’t” he started, not sure why he was traveling so far from the event. “So I went to check. Turns out someone must have taken it and, well, I tried to…”
He trailed off before he could finish, aware of your confusion. You never talked about what he did for Rhysand, in any court. No matter how big or small was the assignment, he didn’t tell you about it.
But that wasn’t what your confusion was about, at least not all of it. You couldn’t possibly notice because you had given it for granted since the beginning, but Azriel did notice. He noticed the change as soon as it happened, and babbled when he explained to Rhysand what he should have been feeling for years.
Had explained to Madja moments ago, who had given him a knowing smile and a proud nod.
“I accepted the bond” he confessed, continuing before you could say anything else. “I don’t know how, or why, but I was there and suddenly I was hit with – with this in my chest, and I don’t know why it wouldn’t happen sooner”
“You accepted the bond” you repeated, looking between his chest and face.
“I don’t know how, or why now. I was, thinking… And it hit me” Azriel smiled sadly, not saying what his thoughts were about – what they had been about since that night. “I didn’t want to tell you, because, this is, you don’t have to do anything now. Me accepting the bond doesn’t change what I did”
Azriel hadn’t meant to tell you, neither to be so vague and ridiculously nervous about it.
It had been a surprise when, in the middle of a conversation, he felt it. He had been thinking about you, because there were flowers and they were pretty against the cold weather, and to him, you were the prettiest thing the Cauldron had made. One moment Kallias had been going through the last movements of the package and the next the high lord was looking at him with raised brows.
Congratulating him for something that should have happened six years ago.
“It’s not that I didn’t want the bond before, Y/N” he continued when you didn’t say anything. “I promise you, I didn’t know how to accept it. I didn’t know that I deserved it”
Azriel had thought, and he still wanted to, that you so pretty that you were meant for someone else. That it was borrowed time, that he didn’t deserve the bond just as he didn’t deserve you. With Madja and Rhys, they had had deep conversations about his mental health, about his version of life where he lived through a glass of pain and rejection.
As he stared at your surprised form, he tried not to let hope leak into his heart. He knew it didn’t fix what was broken, but he hoped it was the first step of a long recovery to win you back.
Only if you could confirm or deny, instead of stare at him.
“Say something” Azriel finally broke, almost begged. “Whatever you want. Just say something”
And you wanted to, because wasn’t that what you had wanted? You had fooled yourself lately thinking about may what ifs. What if he had accepted the bond in the bagging, what if he had told you that he wasn’t fine, that he was broken and needed help.
What if you had helped him and not rushed things when he wasn’t ready. Now, it felt like the Cauldron was giving you that opportunity, only that you didn’t know how to react.
You finally looked away from him and decided to give an experimental tug on the bond, to see if anything had changed.
It had.
“Az”
It was a chuckle, maybe the beginning of a cry. It was anger but also relief because what came back from that tug wasn’t what you usually felt. It was stronger, solid, as if there was a physical string between your bodies that kept you linked.
Usually, it was just an intense feeling that was enough for you. But now that you felt him tugging back, felt him loving you, you couldn’t hold back another laugh. He shoved down through it everything he felt – adoration, love, joy. Many fears that had you stumbling towards him, and pain.
So much pain that your smile dropped. His dropped too, and you felt the bond getting fainter.
“That’s another reason. I didn’t want you to feel… that” Azriel retreated the bond farther. “I have so many fears and pains here that I couldn’t even imagine sharing them with you. And that – “
“You don’t have to feel ashamed” you cut him off, your voice hoarse. “I love you the same”
Words were unnecessary when you hugged his middle and buried yourself in his chest. He curled around you, like he had done so many times.
The channel snapped open again, and you just closed your eyes tightly. It was an endless source of emotions, and it broke you that most of them were bad. There was rejection, from so many people that it felt like an angry, black bull coming your way. Sadness that felt overwhelming and never ending, always coming in waves when Azriel didn’t expect it.
You also felt disgust, and you only held him tighter when you discovered it was self-disgust. Not only at the things that he had done, but also at what had been done to him. The scars on his hands, the shadows around him. He had hated himself for so long he had forgotten how to love.
But then, at the bottom, there was something bright, and that part you realized it was only dedicated to you. There was his family too, but it wasn’t as intense as his love for you. Everything that he lacked during his life, that he yearned for, was tucked where it mattered the most.
“I love you” he whispered against your head, softly. “I love you”
You didn’t answer, just raised your head until you could brush your lips against him. Later, you would have time to blame the cycle, which you wouldn’t get for another two months, or the emotions of the moment. But you knew it was just what you needed, what you both deserved, when you felt him kissing back.
At the beginning, it was just his lips against yours, and it was enough. Your noses brushed each other, you got on your tiptoes and his wing cocooned both of you. His hands only pressed you tighter against his body when you moved your lips against his, brushing the edge of your tongue against his bottom one.
Azriel could barely keep himself straight when you silently asked for permission to open his mouth, which he happily obliged.  
From that moment, it was crashing. The kiss was only a physical proof of your feelings traveling through the mated bond, so wild and intense you couldn’t tell which one was his or yours.
“I’m sorry, darling” he whispered against your lips, giving you no time to reply. “I’m sorry for hurting you, for being a coward. I’m sorry”
“I forgive you. We don’t keep secrets anymore” you managed to say between kisses.
“Never” Azriel answered while leaving kisses on your cheeks and nose.”
“And we’ll talk about our emotions, and feelings. You’ll tell me about your life when I ask”
“Always”
“You won’t close off to me” you pulled his head away and made him look at you.
While you held his face between your hands, Azriel smiled. It was a different smile from the previous ones, from the ones you had seen so far. It was carefree, loving, and yours.
Your thumb brushed the corner of his eye, his upper cheek, the border of his nose.
“I’m here, Azriel. Always. So you don’t have to hide anything from me, or to be ashamed or afraid. I’m here” you closed the distance once more, controlling the kiss by holding onto his face. “Right around the corner”
“Right around the corner” he repeated, dipping his head and sealing all his promises with another kiss.
Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated
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commander-rahrah · 6 months
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Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD What if GN!Reader knew that he was trying to use them from the start? They knew because they're quite familiar with people only talking to them because it's either because they can do something for them or they have something they need! They would still help him since they believe it's something he shouldn't need to go so far to have it. What do you think of it? I'm curious :3
UMMM YESSSS ANON YES! This is definitely something I have considered as well!! Tav isn't a naïve little target like Astarion is used too!
I imagine that Tav/Reader would probably admit to knowing about his plan not long after his own confession scene from Moonrise Towers in Act II. I think it would go something like this ♡♡
P.S.: I absolutely LOVED doing this, and my inbox is literally always open for stuff like this friends! :) It may just take me a hot second to reply!
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“I still can’t wrap my head around this,” Astarion’s voice was a hushed whisper in your ear, the two of you laying next to each other in his tent. You were close, but not touching — you were affording him space, allowing him to make the first move to initiate any kind of touch.
The intimate setting of laying across from each other in his tent was more than you had even expected. The candle stumps sat carefully around you basked everything in a gorgeous, orange glow.
“What do you mean?” You asked gently, your eyebrows furrowed.
“I’d imagine confessing to you in more ways than one… and never once did I imagine it would end like this.” He motioned to the two of you, running a finger tip across your knuckles before withdrawing. His voice was thick with emotion.
A soft chuckle escaped you, “What you thought I’d stake you?”
“Well… yes!” He said exasperatedly, before letting out a breathy laugh himself. Then he shook his head, turning serious, “I was manipulating you. Plotting against my master, with you as my shield.”
Your mouth twitched as you admitted, “I knew.”
“No, I don’t think you understand—“
You interrupted him, your face earnest, “No, Astarion. I do. I knew.”
Realization set deep in his features, his mouth hanging open just enough you could see his fangs, “How long had you known?”
You gave him a half smile, “Since the night you invited me to the woods.”
Your first night together.
“I— that was ages ago!" He sat up abruptly, his red eyes wide, "Why didn’t you say anything? Or better yet— gut me?!"
You sat up slowly, resting on your knees. “People have been using me for my entire life, Astarion. I know what they see when they meet me — a pretty face and nice clothes. Someone who is too friendly, too eager. People have been knocking on my door to ask for gold or sex or an invitation, anything they can get from me… as long as I can remember. Long before I met you."
Astarion was well aware of the mask you could so easily slip on when interacting with others. He hated it when you wore it. But now he understood you had been donning it to protect yourself, as much as he it did for himself too. But he still wanted to stalk and haunt every person who ever made you feel like you were a thing to be used, a means to some end.
Including himself.
Your voice snapped him back to the present, your voice hesitant, "But I had seen through your flirtations for a while now. It’s a force of habit for you, isn’t it?"
His throat bobbed as he swallowed, "Yes, it is."
Your expression crumbled, "I may have realized you were using me, but I didn’t realize how sex made you feel. I’m sorry I didn’t realize, I shouldn’t have indulged in that way."
The vampire waved off your apology, but curiosity got the best of him. "Why did you ‘indulge’? If you knew I was using you… if you knew that I'm... this."
You took a deep breath, before looking him in the eye. “Because I also recognized that what you were doing was a routine, a defense mechanism that you had been doing for longer than I’ve been alive. Because you were manipulated and used for your whole life too, weren’t you?"
Tears formed in the bottom of his eyes as he listened to you, but he willed them to stay back. His red eyes blinked furiously as he listened to you, his fingers intertwining together on his lap.
He wished you would hold them.
"You aren’t like your master, Astarion. And you aren’t what he made you to be either. You are a survivor. And when you were thrown off that nautiloid ship and found yourself in this merry party of misfits, you did just that — survive.
So… I let myself play mouse and get stuck in your trap. Just as I turned a blind eye to Wyll's sending stone. Or didn't ask Gale to explain what in the heavens he was doing with the amulet we had found. Because I trusted you, even back then. Cared for you far more then I should admit. But I knew you needed time."
His bottom lip trembled as you continued your own confession. He let his tears slip free as he saw your own break free. They stuck to your lashes and dripped down your flushed, freckled cheeks. Gods, even crying you were beautiful.
"But I regret that I laid with you — if I had known it caused you such pain I wouldn’t have done that. I knew that sex was apart of your repertoire, but I didn’t realize the anguish it caused you." Your face was pained as you admitted that, he could feel the self-loathing radiating off of you.
“It wasn’t all bad — those times with you were some of the most unexpected moments of bliss I’ve had in centuries." Astarion confessed as he grabbed your fingers and held them tightly. "But it still feels tainted, marred from my past with Cazador..."
“I know." You squeezed his fingers back, another silent understanding. "And we do not need to do such things until you are ready, Astarion. I mean it.”
He nodded, keeping his head down as he stared at the blankets you both sat on — willing himself to get his emotions under control.
You tucked your head to look up at his tilted face, "May I?" You asked softly, your hand hovering between you.
He swallowed as he nodded. You reached out slowly with your hand, before your thumb gently swept under his eyes and down the sides of his face, wiping away the tears that lingered on his pale skin. A sigh of contentment left him at your soft, simple touch. No one had ever touched him like that before.
He caught your hand as you went to withdraw it, your hands intertwined with his between you as you kneeled in front of each other.
Astarion was afraid to ask the next question on the tip of his tongue. But curiosity got the best of him. “So if you knew about my plan this whole time… when did you realize you— you’d fallen for me?”
Your entire face brightened as he asked, your eyes shining as you spoke, “Oh, from the moment you held a knife to my throat and barred your teeth.”
His heart soared, climbing up his throat as he almost choked from the happiness spreading through him.
“You masochist.” He laughed, grabbing onto the sides of your face.
“A romantic fool," You murmured as he placed his lips softly onto yours.
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If you enjoyed this, please feel free to check out more of my Astarion x GN!Reader on my masterlist!
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Writing Isn't Flowing/Word Count Low
Anonymous asked: I saw people doing 10k words a day challenge on YouTube and it made me think about making my own writing sessions longer/more productive. Not 10k words, but something more sustainable for me. I have an outline, but I usually write about 500-800 words, rarely 1k, when the words start to feel heavy and I need to take a break. Sometimes the inspiration is there and the words flow, but more often than not I have this heavy feeling. I try not to focus on word count too much, but still think I'm writing too slow. Any tips on how to write more? 🌸
[Ask edited for length]
The first thing to look at is your outline, because people say "I have an outline" but their outline is, "Sarah wakes up and goes to school, she meets a cute guy, then later he asks her out. Then she gets in trouble in class and goes to detention. Then after school, there's a big fight. Sarah is late getting home and gets in trouble with her mom." That's not really an outline so much as a really general summary of events. An outline would be: Sarah wakes from a strange dream to the sound of her brothers arguing. After calming them down, she helps her dad get everyone fed then walks to school with her best friend Maria. Maria tells her about a cute boy she met at the library the previous evening... Outlines are more detailed so there's not as much guesswork to do when you sit down to write.
Consider your current situation, because sometimes the words aren't flowing for obvious reasons. Are you tired? Not feeling well? Distracted? Overwhelmed? Uncomfortable? Sometimes these things can be helped, like making sure you get more sleep and trying to minimize distractions, but you can't help it if you're not feeling well or if you have a lot on your mind. But, really taking the time to analyze your situation and see what you can help does make a difference.
Fill your creative well by consuming other stories (TV, movies, books, video games, etc.) and by doing creative exercises and things to help your creativity flow. Guide: Filling Your Creative Well
Try writing sprints. If you have a solid outline, a full creative well, and no obvious situational dampers to your writing, you might try doing writing sprints instead of sitting down for long writing sessions. You can experiment with how much time works best for you. Many people do 30-minute sprints, but you could do ten, fifteen, or twenty. Any number that works. So, you would choose the length, set a timer, and sit down to write until the timer goes off. When it does, you'll take a break. You might stretch for ten minutes, go for a short walk, put a load of laundry in, tidy up your room... then, you set the timer and go again. Breaking up your writing session into sprints can be a great way to keep yourself engaged and to minimize that sense of the words getting heavy.
Last but not least, if none of the above work, try reading through the relevant posts on my Motivation master list of posts.
Happy writing!
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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
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kryptznnn · 11 months
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♛- PLAY-HARD I
1st part/ 2nd part (Mature Audience Community Label)
Series Masterlist ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆
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➳ INTERESTS; - olo’eyktan!jake x fem!omatikayan reader
➳ BACKGROUND; - working alongside Mo’at has helped you and your family in various ways, as a way to repay her for your free working she pairs you along side Toruk Makto to aid him in small departments he needs assistance in, but more importantly to find a Tsahik suitable for the Olo’eyktan, but he isn’t always cooperative.
➳ WARNINGS; - 3.1k wc slight age gap (25 and 21), takes place after the great war, eventual smut, slow burn, sexual tension, use of alcohol, vomiting (mentioned once), wet kisses, hickies, jealousy, power imbalance, pet names, fluff, bit of angst if you squint, nipple!play, slight p!play.
➳a.i; first fic i’m very very nervous, but i hope u all enjoy ^^, i take requests so just hit my inbox 🌸
*na’vi translation will be provided*
Mo’at was not joking when she spoke of Jake Sully and his stubbornness, the reason why she decided you’d be a perfect aid is due to your patience, which was running very thin at the moment.
“I’m here to assist you, but i cannot do my job if you refuse to go against my requests.” you stated sharply, his ears pinned against his hair and his lips tightened into a straight line, he simply crossed his arms. This was the 3rd date you’d set up for him that he’s rejected.
Not the first, or the second, but the third time. To make matters worse whenever you’d complain to Mo’at she’d simply tell you to just push a little farther.
“I told you I didn’t like her” he said sternly, repeating the same statement he has for the past 2 weeks. “skxawng, [moron] you’ve said the same thing for the other 2 na’vi i’ve tried to pair you with, do not be selfish, think of the future of our people-“
“That’s all I think about y/n, I might be many things but selfish isn’t one of’em. You can’t just force someone with me, if im going to be with some girl for the rest of my life at least let me make my own decision.” He quickly cut you off, now unfolding his arms and placing a hand at his side, eyeing you up and down. You’d be lying if you said he didn’t make any good points, if you were in his place you’d be more than frustrated, but regardless you’re job here was to help and provide for the olo’eyktan, which is exactly what you were going to do.
“Mr. Sully, please-“
“Jake. It’s jake kid” He buds in, smiling softly.
“Jake, I understand what you’re saying and how you feel, but part of my job is providing, and what i’m doing is providing for you and your future” You correct yourself, giving him a pleading look, searching in his eyes for a look of understanding, which you soon found. He relaxed a bit and wasn’t as tense as before, nodding in approval. You quickly smiled, thankful this situation didn’t have to escalate to a serious argument like it has before hand. Those times were the worst times for the both of you, and thankfully you’ve both been able to talk them out and set boundaries and learn from past mistakes, if anything Mo’at would repeat how times like those strengthens the relationship you two share, and she wasn’t wrong.
“m’sorry” He said quietly, but loud enough for you to hear, rubbing his hands together and sitting down, his tail curling up beside him with his head down. “syeha si tam [breathe, it’s okay], you have nothing to apologize for, i’m sorry too, the position you’re in isn’t easy, trust me I know” you said calmly, slowly walking over to him, just for him to open up his arms. You slowly walked over to him, quickly embracing him just for him to do the same with you. You sighed and smiled softly, your head resting on his.
Come to think of it Jake was always a physical kind of person, “touchy” is what the term is. Whenever things would go wrong with him or the clan he would drain out quickly, before he didn’t have anyone to rely on, not a friend close enough for him to talk to so he would create a relationship with Mo’at, asking her for advice and methods to aid him, right before he came across you. You would be seated with Mo’at, mixing herbs for her while listening to their conversations, on specific days jake would speak about certain na’vi women attempting to court him, which made you giggle when you first heard it
“Who is she?” Jake asked quickly glancing over at you, as you quickly covered your mouth to stop any other laughter. Mo’at turned to you and back at Jake softly smiling. “Her name is y/n, I love her like a daughter of mine,she’s been under my arm for the past 12 years” She said proudly, Jake nodded his head, not taking his eyes off of you, watching as you walked over and stood beside Mo’at.
“Ohe ahasey sa’nok” [I’ve finished mother] You said, placing the bowl in Mo’at’s hands, smiling at her, she thanked you and introduced you to Jake. “Te suli, this is y/n, y/n this is tsyeyk suli, our olo’ektyan” She stated, directing her hand to you than back to jake. You quickly signed the “I see you” gesture saying “Oel ngati kameie” as he nodded and repeated the same action. You looked him in his eyes, just to realize he was looking at you this whole time, you quickly looked to the side and began to distract yourself.
He had such an intense gaze, does he look at everyone like that? You asked yourself, your tail thrashing back and forth recalling the scene that happened just seconds ago.
“If you need extra assistance I can always have y/n accompany you, she’s always wanted to to explore other fields of work, I think she could help you a lot” Mo’at spoke soothingly, placing the bowl you gave her down and adding bandages to it. Jake continued to watch you, listening to Mo’at’s words carefully, still grinning ear to ear.
“I’d love that” He said, slowly standing up to take his leave.
That was 4 months ago, since then Jake has been very open with you, always in need of a hug and consolidation, which you were happy to give. Although it was painful how often you’d have to remind yourself not to mix pleasure and business, you’re helping you’re olo’ektyan, he’s just worn out and exhausted. Surely tonight would help him, deeming the celebration would be in his favor, celebrating his successful raid with his party and no injuries or casualties were gained.
“I’ll see you tonight?” He asked,slowly releasing you from his grasp and looking up at you, you just looked down at him smiling and nodding softly. “Of course, just don’t expect me to be there early, i’ll be coming with Za’yukto” You said, slowly backing up ready to leave, jake quickly grabbed your hand as soon as you turned around.
“Who is that?” He asked, you turned to face him to see his demeanor quickly changed. His jaw had clenched and his grip on your hand was getting tighter by the second. “Just a friend of mine, he didn’t want to go alone so I volunteered to take him, just for a while” You said harmlessly, he tilted his head, looking at you up and down before responding. He opened his mouth just to slowly close is and take a deep breath, making direct eye contact with you. “Just… just don’t be too late okay? I’ll be waiting for you” He said softly, his ears lowering slightly as he let go of your hand.
“Of course, and if you ever get too bored you can talk to all of your other friends there” You joked, quickly getting your belongings and leaving shortly.
✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
You glanced in your small reflection for a final time before leaving your small hut. You haven’t done much to your appearance other than brushing out your braids and changing your purple beaded top to a red one, you’ve always liked how the colors looked on you.
This’ll do. You thought, it was too late to turn back and change now, you’ve already gone so far anyway. You looked pleasant, eye-catching, which was the exact look you were hoping for, hopefully you’d get someone to look at you during tonight’s celebration, or maybe a specific someone. Of course that specific someone being non other than J-
“Y/N!! Are you here?” You stopped dead in your tracks quickly walking over to the entrance of your hut.
That’s Za’yukto’s voice. “Hi, sorry, ohe am lonu to sìltsan” [I’m ready to go] You stated, stepping outside and quickly setting down the entrance of your hut with a smile, looking up at him. He smiled in response and complimented you, to which you thanked him and began making your way to the spirit tree for the celebration.
Soon after you two arrived, you quickly began to adjust your top, brush off your loincloth and hair, saying your goodbyes to Za’yu as you made your way to look for Jake, thankfully finding him quickly-
He’s with someone, you thought, seeing him off to the side laughing with a large drink in his hand, obviously being alcohol, of course stronger than any human substances and yet tasting even sweeter than anything you’ve ever had before. Seeing him happy like that did nothing more than make you smile a bit, he’s been stressed lately, he needs some sort of release. You quickly walk to the side getting closer to him just to see he’s doing more than just talking.
More than just laughing, and not with any someone, with a woman.
And he’s…. he’s kissing her? They’re kissing, they’re definitely kissing, and he’s not kissing just any woman, it’s the first na’vi you ever brought towards him to consider that he immediately rejected, simply telling you “There’s nothing special about her”.
Ewya.
You didn’t even bother making your way over to him, you’d already seen enough, feeling your face heat up out of sheer embarrassment and your eyes beginning to burn. On one swift motion you turn around to find Za’yu and to your surprise he already had a large cup waiting for you. You quickly grabbed it and chugged it down, your face immediately going from a sour look to more relaxed.
“Syeha si y/n!!” [Breathe y/n!!] Za’yu said, quickly taking the now empty cup from your hands as you just smiled at him. “I’m fine, come dance with me?” you asked, holding his hand. He just shook his head and placed the cups down on a table beside him, quickly taking you to the center of the dancefloor and began dancing with you in his arms.
This is a party, a place to let loose and celebrate, and that’s exactly what you planned on doing. You hooked your arms around Za’yu’s shoulders, pulling him a little closer, and looking at him intensely. You’d be lying if you said Za’yu wasn’t attractive, he was insanely attractive and overall perfect, everything a woman would look for in a man, he was skilled, intelligent, good looking, and strong? A complete package. Especially with the fact he’s such a gentleman, that’s what triggered your friendship so quickly.
He looked down at you, his hands traveling from your back to your waist, grinning at you. You slowly pushed yourself up against his body, feeling your beaded top clink against his broad chest. You slowly climb up on your tippy toes closer and closer to his face, as he too moves in closer, just for you to reach towards his ear and kiss it.
“Can you get me another drink please? I’m so thirsty” You ask him playfully, rubbing your 4 fingers against your throat slowly, licking your lips at him. He nodded and reached down to your collarbone, kissing it softly before leaving to get you a drink.
Soon after dancing by yourself you feel a hand rest on your stomach and trail down to your pelvis, holding you securely as your back rests on his back, you lift your head up quickly to see Za’yu, with your drink in his hand as he smiled down at you. You slowly got onto your tippy toes and kissed him, just to taste residue of alcohol that he previously consumed, smiling at the sweet taste, and taking the cup from his hands and quickly finishing it, dropping the cup and turning to face him, kissing him again.
Honestly at this state you’re wondering where jake was, if he was enjoying himself with his dick probably down that girls throat, but at the same time you were too fucked out and having way too much fun to care. Your shared kisses with Za’yu quickly became more intimate and more active, exchanging saliva and practically moaning into his mouth while still dancing, now slowly beginning to grind yourself onto him.
“Za’yu-“ You moaned softly against his lips, barely being able to catch your breath. “I know tìyawn, I know, mawepey” [I know love, I know, be patient] He said softly, his kisses trailing from your lips to your jawline and down to your neck, beginning to suck on you softly.
You rested your hand on the back of his neck, slowly playing with his hair and mewling softly, your ears perked up and your tail curling around your leg. He continued however, lowering down to your collarbone, kissing it softly before continuing his assault.
“ ‘Yu, can w- can we go back to my place? Please” You whimper softly, as he slowly moves his head up to look at you, kissing you softly. “Whatever you want y/n”. He said, quickly going to hold your hand, just as you turn around someone crashes into you spilling their drink all over you.
Of course it was none other than Ninat, whos throat Jake was previously shoving his tongue down. “Shouldn’t you be all on the olo’ektyan?” You muttered quietly, thankful no one heard you. Before listening to her pleads and apologies you simply just shoved past her, clinging onto Za’yukto tightly. “Don’t worry we’ll get you cleaned up, come on” He said.
Soon enough you both arrived to your hut , walking straight into the back of your hut and dragging him along, to which he quickly obliged. You stepped into the small pond behind your hut and began removing your strained top and loincloth, ushering him to do the same, which he quickly did.
“I’m going to clean you up first” He said, smiling down at you and grabbing a nearby rag to wipe any access alcohol off of you. He was gentle and caring, he only looked above your collarbone and refused to look lower, to make sure ‘you felt comfortable’ was his excuse, you found his caring and respectful nature cute though, knowing there were a lot of navi men out there who would not do the same. You just helped guide his hand to where he had to clean off until he kissed you again, letting his hands trail up from your waist to your soft breasts.
“Is this okay?” He asked softly, looking in your eyes for complete confirmation, to which you nodded and smiled in response. He let his fingers graze against your nipples a few times before toying with you, lowering his head before taking your left breast into his mouth, rolling his tongue onto your nipple, making you moan softly, quickly gripping onto the back of his hair softly. “That’s not the only place that needs attention, i’m still dirty elsewhere” You teased, he looked up at you repositioning himself, giving you a cocky look before answering.
“Oh yeah? Where would that be?” He asked, you quickly took his hand to show him, hovering over your stomach, but before you could continue a wave of sickness hit you, making you pause. Za’yu quickly took notice of this and how your expression changed. “Hey, what’s wrong what happened” He asked, now completely serious as you now grabbed onto his shoulder for support. “I feel a little sick” You managed to make out weakly, he quickly finished cleaning you off and immediately got you out of the small pond, drying you up and taking you inside to get you into something, but not before you threw up on the side of the mossy ground twice before crying.
“It hurts” You said, your voice hoarse and dry, which reminded Za’yukto to get you some water, he instructed for you to stay in your room and get dressed as he fetched you something to drink along with a small herb to help with the burning of your throat.
You quickly got changed, sitting patiently for Za’yu, and he soon came telling you to swallow one of your own handmade herbal medicine and a glass of water behind it, which you did. “You need to get some rest, you’ve had a long night” He said, placing his hand onto your shoulder, rubbing it softly and smiling at you. You didn’t respond, only placing the glass down and sprawling yourself against your bed, your back now facing Za’yu.
A moment of silence has passed, he hasn’t left and you haven’t fallen asleep yet, why is he still-
“I’ll stop by tomorrow to check up on you” He quickly stated, interrupting your thoughts, you don’t answer and he takes the silence as a sign you must be asleep, big mistake.
“Hopefully tonight didn’t change anything within our friendship, i’m not looking for a mate or to court anyone now, it was never my intention to move so quickly with you” He mumbled, but loud enough for you to hear, and shift in the bed as a response, you waited to hear the flap of your hut close before letting the tears in your eyes roll out over your nose and stain your bed.
This was going to be such a long night, and tomorrow morning even longer.
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