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strangersteddierthings · 10 months

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What's Eight Plus Seven?

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five

Alright y'all. We had the hurt, let's get some comfort started.

Steve leans against his door, expecting Eddie to follow him upstairs to continue their argument because Eddie's never been one to back down from an argument as far as Steve can tell, so he's using his weight to keep the door shut. It takes about five minutes of just leaning against the door before he hears a few light knocks on the door. He pretends he didn't hear them and soon starts to hear Eddie monologue-ing on the other side. He thinks he hears a 'sorry' and an 'I fucked up' but he doesn't really tune in until Eddie says something about cancelling Hellfire.

Spinning quickly, he yanks the door open and says, "You better not fucking cancel!"

"What? Don't you, like, want me out of your house?" Eddie looks startled and sounds confused.

"What I want is for the kids to get to play Dungeons and Dorks for an afternoon, just getting to be kids and fight against monsters that can't actually kill them," Steve says as he goes to put his hands on his hips (a move that Robin calls his Bitch Stance) but realizes he can't while still holding a book, so instead he folds his arms across his chest, cradling the book to his body.

He waits for Eddie to call him out for saying dorks instead of dragons, but Eddie just blinks at him, quiet for a moment before he says, "Oh. Uh, okay then. I'll just, uhh, I'll be back closer to noon, then. For the game."

"Don't you have prep to do?" Steve knows he's trying to pick a fight now but he's angry, and sad, and hurt underneath it all. Also, he doesn't understand the change in Eddie suddenly. Ten-ish minutes ago Eddie had shouted back I wasn’t exactly wrong, was I? You were a jock, a bully even! Where is that anger now?

"No. Not, uh, not really," Eddie says, avoiding meeting Steve's gaze, face turning a very light pink. "I was- I mean, yes, there was prep, but I did a majority of that already and what's left will take maybe three minutes so..."

Steve's confused now, still trying to cling to his anger. "But you called and asked if it was okay to come early specifically for that reason."

Eddie doesn't respond right away. He turns around to walk to the wall opposite Steve's door and thump his forehead against it. Steve is perplexed by the behavior (but he's been perplexed by Eddie since finding him at Reefer Rick's) so he just watches in silence as Eddie heaves a sigh and turns around to slump against the wall, facing Steve once again. He runs a hand through his hair, then drags that hand back forward and down his face. "Yeah. I did do that."

"So, what, you lied? Why?"

"I just wanted to hang out," Eddie whispers, like it almost hurts him to say out loud, which is such a weird thing to hear because it makes Eddie seem small in a way Steve's never seen him. Even during spring break Eddie was never small or quiet; his fear manifested as shouting, for fuck's sake. It chips away at the last of Steve's anger. He's long past the days of kicking someone when they're down.

"You... wanted to hang out," Steve repeats before heaving a sigh of his own, long-suffering man that he is. Maybe it is time to bury the hatchet and actual deal with this. If nothing else, it'll result in Steve being less defensive around Eddie when everyone hangs out, like for movie night or BBQs. Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to so he says, "Listen, I think we've got some shit to hash out, or whatever, so that should probably be done or, like, things are going to be weird when we all hang out, but I can't do that right now, man. So, stay or go, just make that game happen at noon. I'm going to stay up here."

Eddie nods, weirdly sullen and quiet again, as he says, "Yeah. Umm, maybe after the game? If you're feeling up to it."

"Sure. After."

Eddie raps his knuckles against the wall behind him twice before pushing off and heading back towards the stairs. He pauses to look over his shoulder and say, "If you wanna watch, or listen in, or something, I don't think anyone will mind." And then he's heading down the stairs.

Retreating back to his room, Steve tosses the book onto his bed before flopping face first next to it. He groans into his comforter before reaching for the book. He props himself up on his elbows and stares down at the cover before opening it to see Christopher's handwriting on the inside cover.

It's been years since he thought about Christopher and even longer since he's laid eyes on the books. He was so sure his mom had just gotten rid of them. All this time, they'd been right where he left them, shoved just far enough back to be out of sight on the shelf. His last link to Christopher.

That's not true, Steve scolds himself. His cousins, Amber and Robert, are still alive and in Washington. His grandparents still live on that farm in Michigan. Steve just hasn't seen them since the funeral.

He hadn't gone back to the farm the summer after freshman year, or any year since. His parents thought he was old enough to stay home for a whole month in the summer alone now, instead of paying to ship him off to his grandparents. Steve's old enough now to know that was why he'd spent a month every year out on the farm; so his parents could go off on longer work trips. Once they'd decided Steve was old enough to stay alone for the summer, that quickly reached other seasons and by the time Steve was a junior, the were gone more than they were home.

He doesn't even remember when he last spoke to them in person. He thinks the last phone call was right after Starcourt. It was just to make sure Steve got to job hunting, since his place of employment had burned down and the bills wouldn't pay themselves. Which is true. He doesn't have to pay rent, but all the utilities are in his name now.

Jesus, he doesn't want to be thinking about them.

He goes back to the book, flipping through the pages absently. Halfway through the book he finds a couple folded pieces of paper tucked close to the spine. He doesn't have to open them to know exactly what they are.

It's the character sheets he'd made.

He closes the book back atop them and rolls over to face his ceiling. He wants to call Robin, but the phones are downstairs and he doesn't want to go down there just yet. He also kinda wants to cry. To get rid of all these emotions about Christopher, and Freshman First Day, and Eddie.

Fucking Eddie. Who haunts Steve's thoughts more than he'd like because despite the grudge Steve has been holding, Eddie has been fun to be around and so good with the kids, especially Dustin. Fuck, after having watched Dustin break down when they thought he was dead- but he'd had a pulse. It was weak but it was there.

After Eddie'd been cleared of the charges and the months rolled on into summer, they'd spent lots of time together as a group. Steve will admit he tried to avoid Eddie as best he could (he knows he's petty, okay) but could still see how he blended smoothly into their group.

If this Eddie had been the one he met on Freshman First Day, instead of the dick that mocked him, they might very well be friends now.

That's the crux of it all, Steve thinks. That he wouldn't mind being friends with Eddie if not for that bottled up grudge he'd been holding onto. He can't bring himself to let it go and Steve's not even sure why. Thoughts and feelings aren't something Steve processes quickly, and it usually helps to talk it out with Robin. She lets him stumble through his thoughts, and doesn't mock him for messing up, or mixing up, words.

Goddammit, if he's really going to try talking this out with Eddie, he's going to have be open and honest and maybe a little vulnerable and he doesn't know if he can do that.

But he'll have to. For better or worse, he can't just keep Eddie at arms length. They need to either come to the conclusion that they can be friends, or not, and then go from there. (Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to.)

In the end, Steve's not sure how long he just stares up at the ceiling but a sudden shout breaks him from his trance. It sounded like Dustin. Hellfire must have started.

Steve leaves his room to go lean against the half wall of the hallway, so he could look down to the dining table where everyone has gathered to play. No one notices him, so Steve sinks to the floor and turns, so he can lean against the wall, closes his eyes, and listens in.

The room below is filled with noise. Shouts of excitement, and groans of pain, and sighs of relief. Dustin yells at his dice when it rolls a Nat 1. Mike curses up a storm over a barely missed perception check that makes the party fall into a surprise round. He hears Lucas whoop happily and then what sounds like him taking several victory laps around the table.

He used to be an imaginative kid, able to easily conjure castle, and knights, and dragons in his mind's eye. Listening to Eddie describe a new location, or NPC, or monster makes it easy to bring that part of himself back. Eddie is descriptive and uses so many voices that Steve would be embarrassed to even attempt. But because Eddie is being descriptive, so is everyone else at the table. Erica has adopted an accent of some sort for her character. Dustin and Will go into great detail describing what they want their character to do. The older members of Hellfire do the same, and one of them is using an Irish accent that if he used while talking to Steve, he'd would think it was his first language.

Steve's not sure how long he sat there, long enough that they've taken a snack break and are back at it again, before he decides he might as well watch, too. He gets up and goes downstairs. There's a pause at the table when he wonders in and plops down on the couch. He makes eye contact with Eddie and offers a small half smile. Eddie grins back, and starts back into the game, pulling everyone's focus.

Watching is interesting. He gets to see the Party jab at each other, or lean over and whisper about something. It's nice, to see them being kids. Having fun.

They end around five and Steve is surprised at how quickly five hours had passed.

"So, Steve, how was watching your first DnD game?" Dustin asks, pausing on his way to the door to do so.

Steve considers teasing him, but he goes for honesty instead. "Pretty interesting. It might not be my last time observing. I gotta see you get killed sometime, right?"

"Rude, Steve. Rude," Dustin is grinning though.

"Tell your mom hi for me, and let me know when she's making pork chops again. I'd like to crash that dinner."

Dustin rolls his eyes and shakes his head but he hugs Steve before leaving. Between all the older Hellfire members, they all have rides home that aren't Steve or Eddie.

Speaking of the latter, he's slowly packing things away at the table. Clearly killing time so it won't look like he's intentionally staying after everyone's gone.

Soon, the house is empty again.

"So, I'm not sure... how to start this conversation," Eddie admits to the silence. He's still at the table, standing behind where he was previously sitting, fiddling with a die. "But, I'm sorry. For that day. You were right, you know? When you said I was lashing out at you first."

"Thanks. For the apology," Steve stands from the couch and moves to the table, toying with the tablecloth instead of looking at Eddie. "I, uhh, I'm not sure where to go from here, either? I spent such a long time angry at you. For pointing out all the things I'm bad at in front of everyone there. For making me feel like an idiot."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Now Steve looks up at Eddie. "You say that, but like, why? Are you sorry because what you did was shitty, or because you want to be my friend now?"

Eddie blinks, apparently thrown by Steve's question.

"Because, like, you were pretty dismissive of Lucas before Spring Break and he helped save your life. So, it's like, are you okay with being shitty if the people you hurt aren't people you like? 'Cause I used to be that way, and I'm not going to be friends with someone who is."

"Yeah, no, you're right," Eddie nods. "For all that I scream about conformity, and how stupid it is, I've been rather quick to dismiss everyone outside my own... group. I held rather close to that nerds verses jocks crap for too long. Lucas is a jock, but he's also a nerd, and so very loyal to his friends. And you- you're really fucking awesome."

"I am," Steve interrupts with a cheeky grin.

"Ass. But yeah, you're pretty awesome, and I've been feeling all fucked up today because, we could have been friends, couldn't we? In high school. If I'd just let you take the damn flier and kept my mouth shut."

"Hey, that's not all on you," Steve says. "I would have still joined the basketball team, and the swim team. And, like, I was so desperate for any shred of attention from my parents that I would never have picked Hellfire over sports meetups. I could have joined and still ended up a bully by sophomore year."

"Well, I didn't help-"

"I made those choices, Eddie. And it doesn't matter because it's in the past. So, like, we can just move forward. Start over, or whatever."

Eddie looks him up and down before giving one sharp nod, then breaking out into a wide grin, sticking his hand out for a handshake. "Hi. Name's Eddie Munson."

Steve laughs, reaching out to shake Eddie's hand. "Steve Harrington."

"Great, pleasure to meet you. Do you wanna hang out? We can play 20 questions. Get to know each other."

"Sure," Steve chuckles, extracting his hand from Eddie's. "Let me order some pizza first."

First time hanging out with Eddie alone. Guess they'll find out if they can be friends after all.

#steddie #my fic #what's eight plus seven?#just one more part #not fully edited because im at work so apologies for that

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febuary30thday · 1 year

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Love

Yan! Uppermoons! + Muzan with an affectionate reader!

(Reader who likes giving hugs, kisses, and PDA, stuff like that)

(I'm sorry, but pookie always comes first 😫)

He is eating it up like it's his last meal

He may not be affectionate, but he likes it when you are

He's a major hypocrite

If he's not affectionate and then you take it as him not liking affection and stop, he'll hate it

He will demand an answer and when you explain it to him, he is not understanding

He will yell at you if needed (When he doesn't have your devotion)

He thinks that your affection is a sign of your devotion, and he needs your devotion

He only lets Kokushibo near you

His love language to you is gift-giving and words of affirmation

He'll buy you flowers, praise you, and rope you in

He knows exactly how to rope you in

He gives you punishments, even if you haven't done anything wrong, to test you

He needs you completely devoted to him and your attention only on him

If your attention is on something else, he will emotionally manipulate you, and make you dependent on him and only him

Don't try to resist

He turns you into a demon, so that he can read your thoughts and control you for his own needs

If you listen and stay affectionate, you live happily ish.

If you don't listen..... you don't want to know what happens

"Just stay devoted and love only me, darling, if you do, I'll provide you with the best life you could ever have."

With a man as stoic as him, you'd think he would like affection, right?

Wrong.

It makes him feel weak, and it feels like he's getting soft

The minute he feels weak, is the minute he thinks about Yoriichi, and trust me, that doesn't end well

That's what he thought about affection

Until you won his heart, and became the obsession of his life

The reason he lives, breathes, and becomes more powerful, is because of you

He is a lot more forceful in what he wants, and he is very straightforward about his intentions

He isn't good at emotional manipulation, but he is very good at intimidation, and, what are you going to do?

He loves your affection, and he is very affectionate as well, when he wants to be

He will stop you from whatever you're doing if he wants to kiss you, or cuddle you

DON'T try to stop him

He likes leaving his sword at his feet when he cuddles you, keeping his eye on it, and also showing you how vulnerable he is to you

He knows you love him, but he needs constant reassurance, believe it or not, he's very insecure

He will never admit this

Stay by his side, and he will treat you right

He also does turn you into a demon, because he can't stand the thought of being without you

"I'm completely vulnerable with you right now. I'm showing you my devotion, and I expect you to show me your devotion as well."

He loves it

It's his excuse to always cling to you

He is also affectionate as well, so you two go hand-in-hand

He makes his followers worship you as well, proclaiming that you are a deity, and they listen

He turns you into a demon pretty early when he realizes he wants you

He always keeps you on his lap

He is also very cheeky with his intentions, so sometimes he makes you wear the clothes of his followers

He uses it as an excuse to defile you

He spoils you like crazy

He is soft and gentle with his touches, believing you to be fragile

He treats you like porcelain (Not in the bedroom)

He teases you and is also very flirty

He does love you and will cuddle and coddle you always

As long as you are with him for eternity, he will love you

If he sees any of his male followers looking at you wrongly, he kills them off, despite having no intention to eat them

He makes you dependent on him as well, but also allows you some freedom, he isn't completely restrictive

Believe it or not, Akaza feels pity for you

Douma talks about you every chance he gets, he is very brave and open

Everyone's tired of it

"I love you, snowflake! You should stay with me for eternity! I promise to love you!"

He likes it, but is pretty mellow with his affection

He is very romantic, and also very possessive

He does say you are weak, but he only says that because he wants you to stay with him

He constantly says how he can protect you

He is afraid of losing you, so he appreciates the little things you do as well

Turning you into a demon was his choice, but he does feel a little bad

He hates leaving you alone so he completes his missions quickly

He takes you out, only when he's with you

He does like hugging and kissing you, but doesn't smother you like Douma does

He just likes showing you he loves you

He's trying, give him some time

He's kind of bad at the whole 'being in love thing' but he knows how to express love

He doesn't punish you as often, if at all, he hates doing that

He doesn't use underhand tactics to make you dependent on him, he kind of just does it on accident

He needs you to live, breathe and survive

He does love seeing you happy and would do anything for you

"Please don't leave me. I can't live without you."

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generalsmemories · 6 months

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3 in fluff scenarios with Dan Heng for the event? :3

Lovely melody

✧ dan heng x gn!reader

✧ prompts used: that warm feeling they get when they successfully make the other one laugh out loud || 1k event

✧ content: established relationship, fluff, hurt/comfort, spoilers for main quest and 1.4 main event, and dan heng's companion quest

✧ a/n: i think everyone heals a lot inside whenever dan heng shows a hint of a smile (me going into camera mode with both his forms to see that tiny little smile) so let's give this boi some well deserved laughter after his very good job onboard the luofu

ya'll know the drill, not beta-read so if you see any mistakes - you didn't.

Dan Heng seemed to behave differently after he decided to meet with Bailu. A meeting you were first incredibly worried about after getting to know what had once to him onboard the Luofu years ago - but he had only given you a tiny smile and a brief hug to console you, whispering that he would bring the trailblazer for safety measures.

You had noted that it was the first time that he had personally left the archives after the initial expedition had come to an end and the stellaron disaster had been solved.

And normally you would've been delighted over the fact that he had taken the effort to come out to hang out at the cabin area with the others, even if he spoke less than before. While you're worried about his reason for stepping out of the express once again, you know that its his wish - and by no means are you to hold someone back from wishing to face a certain part of themselves.

Especially when it comes to Dan Heng.

Either way, when he came back after taking a trip back down to Luofu, he had once again shut himself back into the archives - there was an attempt to console you in the form of a brief nod with a small smile.

It did not help at all.

But you knew better than to actually rush him into explaining things or even tell you something - he still needed to wrap his own head around what had just happened after all.

So you were in utter glee when March and the trailblazer had suggested to bring Dan Heng back to Belobog for their annual Solwarm festival, deciding to wait outside of the archives as they went in to ask him. But your happiness is short-lived when the duo comes out with a frown, the trailblazer shaking their head while March just sighs out in disappointment.

"He won't budge at all. I would ask you to come and join us [Name], but you're probably too worried about him now to join, huh?" March asks in a futile attempt, and you can only give her a resigned smile yourself, "Sorry, you two. Do enjoy the festival for both of us though. I think Himeko is at the end of this cart if you're going to ask her for help," you say, waving the two goodbye - entering the room only when they turn the corner.

Dan Heng is still standing with his back turned towards the door when you enter, and he doesn't turn around when he speaks out loud either. "You really don't have to stay behind at the express for me, you know? I'm fine, just a bit tired."

You don't answer, merely taking a few cautious steps towards him although you stop moving when you're just within arms reach "... Do you want me to?" you ask instead.

"..." he doesn't answer at first, but he quickly turns around to take a few steps towards you, reaching for your hand to pull you towards him before immediately burying his face into your neck and wrapping his arms around your waist. "... Thank you."

While Dan Heng doesn't say anything more after his initial vulnerability, but you can tell very quickly from the way he's acting that he doesn't want you to leave his sight. You've resigned yourself to spend majority of your time inside the archives - getting a lot of updates of March's and trailblazers situation and condition through various selfies and long rants from March.

You show all of the pictures to Dan Heng who has his head resting on your lap whilst reading the updates from March out loud. While he doesn't comment on anything, content with hearing your own thoughts about the matter - you've managed to see him crack a small smile or let out a light chuckle at some of the stories March gives or even your own thoughts.

While it doesn't seem like a lot from the outside or to anyone else, the small chuckle he lets out makes your heart soar. And when you glance down at him after putting away your phone, he merely raises an eyebrow in silence. "What is it?" he asks, ever so oblivious at your newfound joy.

"Nothing," you answer, not able to hold back your smile as you bend your neck a tiny bit to peck him on the lips.

A few more days passes, and whilst March and the trailblazer wasn't able to enjoy the festival because of circumstances (that you have very much been updated on) they had instead found a newfound joy in a new game that had taken Belobog by storm - having sent a picture to you about their new companion who they had affectionally named: Puffball.

It seemed that keeping himself to the archives and accompanied by your presence seemed to help Dan Heng tremendously, now able to take more trips down to the main cabin instead of you having to make the trek to the kitchen yourself to bring food back to the archives.

He's even made some comments on the mutual groupchat of the express, giving March and trailblazer a few pointers - to which he was responded with a flurry of stickers from March you could practically feel her excitement through the screen.

And whilst Himeko and Welt made the trip down to Belobog to watch the final tourmanets in person, you and Dan Heng had resorted to watching the livestream on the holographic screen inside the archives.

Dan Heng wasn't as hooked to the game or the tournament, but seeing your excited expression whenever you saw either March or the trailblazer on the screen did make him relax significantly - having his attention on you and your expression most of the times than the livestream.

Not that you noticed though.

He had started to pay attention to the screen when the grand finale was about to commence though - just as curious as you about this mysterious player that had participated in the event.

"They won!" you shouted in glee before the trotter had even landed the final blow, making Dan Heng jolt in surprsie at the sudden loudness - but you were too ecstatic to even notice, turning towards him with a glint in your eyes that made Dan Heng's words die in his mouth.

"I knew they were going to win! Sure Hook as an elite player surprised me, but there was no way March and the trailblazer would lose! After all they even went with your tips and strategy with the right chips and had that amazing line up - they were almost unkillable!" you spouted, going on and on about the strategic points and the efficient use of their set up - Dan Heng still blinking in mild surprise at your sudden informative outburst.

You still don't notice how he's completeley shell-shocked at your new vigor, and while 70% of his attentin was on your continued rant on how they could optimize the team further, he gets a personal message from Himeko - the video showing Welt having jumped up from his seat with as much excitement as you during the finale.

And maybe it's that video about Welt along with your own enthusiasm about a game that you were previously very neutral about is what finally cracks him.

But you first hear the light snicker come from him, which makes you immediately quiet down because of sheer surprise. The light snicker that comes from your lover soon turns into a hearty laugh while his body starts to shake slightly.

And you swear you've never been so in love.

There's a few stray tears forming at the corner of his eyes, to which Dan Heng brings a delicate finger to brush away, mouth still spread into a smile - his cheeks are a tiny bit flushed from having laughed way longer than he normally does and his body is still trembling slightly.

If only you could've recorded this entire interaction.

It takes Dan Heng a couple of deep breathes before he notices your awestruck expression, his smile fading a bit as he grows concerned, but before he can ask you only cup his cheeks again and shuffle closer to him - the same sparkle in your eyes still present, but now for entirely different reasons than before.

"You laughed!" you state with a broad smile, and the male before you blinks in surprise, cheeks reddening a bit at your upfront statement.

But before he can even say anything, you let out a chuckle yourself, "You laughed!" you reaffirm, now with a softer voice.

Dan Heng is still confused, but you only shake your head before leaning in to kiss him, "You finally laughed again."

And only when you say that does Dan Heng piece together all of your worries for the past week. The realization making him let out a resigned chuckle, bringing a hand behind your head to pull your face closer to him and press his lips against your own again.

"How can I not when you were acting that excited over a game of all things?"

You don't refute or say anything, only laughing more which makes his small smile widen.

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail imagines #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr imagines #star rail x reader #star rail x you #dan heng x reader #reader insert #x reader

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sansaorgana · 1 month

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Hello love! I simply adore your writing and I was wondering if I could get a Gale Cleven x reader who's dealing with infertility? Probably something angsty? If not, that's totally fine. I'm just having a bit of a rough day :/

hi, sweetheart! 🥺 I'm sorry that you're having a rough day... I am trying to write these stories chronologically but I decided to write this one today so you don't have to wait too long 😊 btw I know that we treat Buck as a fictional character here but as far as I am concerned, real Buck Cleven never had children – at least I've never seen them mentioned anywhere like Bucky's daughters or Crosby's kids 🤔

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

You didn’t want to go there at all but you knew that you should leave the house finally for your own mental health. Buck was looking worried about you, too, and you wanted to show him that you were slowly getting better after your last miscarriage. But the truth was that some part of you was dying with each one of them.

For the first time it had been sad but not devastating yet – it was common to happen after all. Second time had started to make you worry. Third and fourth had only been a confirmation of your fear – you wouldn’t give your husband a child and you wouldn’t become a mother unless someone comes up with a magical cure.

Your best friend Eva was the only person who had known about it and she was as worried as Buck was. When one of your and Eva’s friends, Nancy, had decided to throw a tea party, Eva insisted on taking you there. So you dressed up and let her take you in her car as Buck watched from the window with a faint smile.

Eva was an independent woman. After her husband’s death in the war she decided not to marry again. She got her own car and managed most things on her own. She was a wild and free spirit and she never wanted to have children so as much as you appreciated her effort to help you – you knew that she would never fully understand your struggle.

The tea party took place at Nancy’s house. There were a few other women and you all sat by the table and sipped on the warm beverage from the china set Nancy had gotten for her wedding. She looked excited and her eyes were sparkling all the time as she was smiling widely. Eventually, you found out the reason behind that.

“So, I wanted you all to come here because… Because I have something to tell you, girls,” she giggled and all the women looked at her, curiously.

You felt a knot forming in your stomach. You already felt what it was.

“I’m pregnant!” She announced and everyone cheered. You did too, forcing a smile. Eva’s hand found yours under the table and squeezed yours to show you a silent support.

You felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes. You got angry at Eva for convincing you to come here but it wasn’t her fault after all, she couldn’t know… You looked around and realised that all other women in the room had children already or were pregnant. Except for you and Eva but she didn’t count since she didn’t want to become a mother anyway.

But the worst hadn’t happened yet.

“Now it’s (Y/N)’s turn,” Nancy smiled at you and you put the cup down with a shaky hand.

“Stop pushing her,” Eva reacted immediately.

“Don’t be like this, Eva. You hope she will never be a mother so you won’t be alone in this,” Nancy’s sister, Hannah, snapped at her.

“We don’t really think about having children, Buck and I,” you smiled nervously and the women looked at each other.

“My husband didn’t want them either but I convinced him,” Janis grinned at you, thinking that her words were in any way helpful.

“We just don’t…” you started and your voice broke. Eva jumped in the conversation quickly.

“Stop pushing her!” She insisted angrily.

“I’m only saying, he can wait but she cannot,” Nancy shrugged her arms.

You didn’t want to make a scene and leave after that so you only pretended to be more interested with the piece of cake on your plate although swallowing it was extremely difficult with a gulp in your throat. You waited about half an hour before nodding at Eva discreetly.

“It’s time for us,” she stood up and grabbed her purse. “I promised Buck to take her back home by eight.”

“These officers, they are all about discipline,” you chuckled while excusing yourself and picked your purse up as well. “Can’t have my Major waiting too long.”

You left the house as fast as possible and waited for Eva by her car.

“I’m sorry, darling,” she told you when she finally joined you. “I had no idea.”

“Let’s not… Let’s not talk about it, alright?” You sniffed back the tears and she nodded, furrowing her eyebrows at you but respecting your wish to stay silent.

In fact, you both remained silent for the whole ride home and she only kissed your cheek when she parked by your lawn and you jumped out of the car to go back inside and hide from the world.

Buck was in the living room, crouching down next to the TV set with a screwdriver in his hand as he worked on some adjustments. You smiled through the tears and leaned on the wall, shyly.

“You’re back already?” He mumbled without looking up.

“Yeah, it was no fun,” you answered. “What are you on about again, Buck?”

“The signal keeps being bad, I can fix that, I think,” he explained.

“Just don’t hurt yourself and, most importantly, don’t break the TV,” you sighed, trying to be in a playful and teasing mood but it was difficult, especially while seeing him – the man you loved… whom you couldn’t give a child.

You burst into tears all of sudden and Buck looked up, worryingly.

“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” He put the screwdriver down and approached you as quickly as possible to put his hands on your shoulders.

“Nancy… She… She’s pregnant,” you told him and he sighed before pulling you closer and pressing your face to his chest.

“I’m sorry, darling…” He rubbed your back, not knowing what to say.

“And she asked about us not having a baby of our own…” You tugged on his shirt.

“That is none of that woman’s business why we don’t have a baby of our own,” you heard Buck’s voice getting more stern and angry.

“I know… I told her we don’t want babies… I didn’t know what else to say…” You explained.

“It’s alright,” he shushed you and kissed the top of your head.

“No, it’s not…” You looked up with your wet eyes and makeup running down your face. You could see the pain on his face from witnessing you this way and you hated to bring him sadness, too, but you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. “She said you have time but I am running out of it.”

Buck’s jaw clenched at the words. He hated when anyone was hurting you either with words or actions – no matter if it was a man or woman.

“Nancy’s never been a bright girl, you know that, baby?” He cupped your wet cheeks and leaned in closer to your face. You nodded, unsurely. “Girls like her only care about keeping a husband at home and showing off in town.”

“But I care about keeping a husband, too,” you gasped.

Buck sighed and shook his head, looking for the right words.

“Come here, baby,” he lowered his hands to hold yours as he led you on the sofa and sat you on his lap. You threw your arms around his neck and he pulled you closer by your hip and thigh. “How many times do I have to tell you, sweetheart, that you’re all I want? Only you,” he pecked your lips softly. “You make me the happiest already. Having a baby with you would be only an addition, it’s already perfect the way it is. If we have a baby, I’ll be happy. But if we don’t, I’ll be just as much satisfied,” he explained to you. “And I won’t let anyone say bad things about my beautiful and wonderful wife.”

“Buck…” Your lower lips trembled. “It brings me comfort to know you don’t really care about it but…”

“It’s not that I don’t care. Don’t say that,” he interrupted you. “I care.”

“I know, I’m sorry… But I want this baby. I want to have a baby with you more than anything in the world. I am glad you’ll be as happy without it but I don’t think I will be…” You looked down, ashamed of your confession.

Buck stayed silent for a while, caressing you and keeping you close as he rested his chin on your head and sighed.

“I know, my sweet girl, you just want a baby to love and take care of, right?”

“Yes…” You nodded. “And… And I hate how jealous I get when I see other women with babies or being pregnant. It brings the worst out of me and I don’t like this version of me.”

“Shh, hey, love, there are lots of babies out there who want a mummy to love them and take care of them just as much, you know?” He asked in a soft whisper and you looked up at him.

“What are you suggesting? That we should adopt?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Only if you want to,” he nodded and raised his hand to caress your head gently. “I want you to be happy, darling. That’s all I want, nothing else. I hate to see you so sad all the time,” he confessed and smiled sadly.

“It would be lovely to adopt a baby but I’m scared it won’t be the same… Because I want to have your baby, Gale… Ours,” you fixed yourself.

“You know that I’d do everything to make your dream come true, I really would. But some things… They’re just impossible to happen sometimes, you know that, baby?” Buck kissed your forehead. “We can keep trying and trying but it kills me to see you getting even sadder each time it happens.”

You only hummed to yourself and squeezed him tighter. A decision to adopt a baby couldn’t be made in the heat of the moment, you had to think about it more thoroughly. But your husband had a point. You also hated to make him worried so much about you and the fact that he himself would be as happy without having a child with you was bringing you lots of comfort. It would be way worse if he wanted this baby more than anything else.

“I have to heal after the recent loss first,” you whispered to him after a while, “and then we’ll talk about it again, how about that?”

“Sounds about right,” Buck caressed your cheeks with his thumbs and leaned in to place a soft kiss on your lips.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

#sansaorgana: Answered #lovely anons #*buck #lilysfiction #gale cleven x reader #austin butler x reader

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meanbossart · 1 month

Text

Lore Ask Compilation: "Every Other Question Is About The Drow's Dick" edition

Oh I LOVE Minthara, her dialogue is absolutely fascinating and in my opinion some of the best written In the game. Experiencing her in my Evil Durge playthrough without having been spoiled to her companion scenes prior was great - the amount of depth they managed to add to her, without it at all feeling forced or rushed, and considering how much less time she gets to develop at our side is really well done. While nearly everyone's quests had me immersed, she was one of the few characters who really made me pause and think about the things she had to say to me, what she truly meant by them, and what they meant for me as an avatar doing an evil run.

We have a lot of characters in this game that are meant to be full of wisdom and experience, who are meant to be the ones who say the right thing at the right time that inspires us to make the correct choices, but I don't think either Halsin or Jaheira (and I love Jaheira) made me feel like I knew so little about life quite as Minthara did.

And, of course, she's absolutely hysterical. 10/10 I wish she had a proper companion quest past being rescued but I understand why she doesn't.

[MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT]

It doesn't connect to the urethra since the slit in on top, so he nuts and pisses normal.

Also you 100% are not sorry, stop lying to me.

Man, I thought a lot about this one because I play so fast and loose with the content the game gives us that I'm positive there must be SOMETHING I'm completely disregarding, but I couldn't think of anything! I've chosen to pick slightly less obvious interpretations to some lines and text but nothing that completely deviates from canon, I don't think. If anyone has noticed something I neglected to mention, feel free to let me know - not because I want to revise it, but just because I'm curious!

For the second part of the question, not really. Larian did a great job of giving us plenty of room to play around in the dark urge's background, I think I'm yet to see something that I find to truly "not fit" in the ample freedom they've given us. I have my preferences, of course - I'm shocked to find that most dark urge's are NOT big hulking beasts, for example - in fact that seems to be the minority by far, but I realize that I have my... Uh... Biases.

You can see a cute little divot through the fabric if you look closely LOL

And nah, I think his penis has seen enough sharp points for a lifetime.

Well.

Unless someone decided to add some bite-marks to it.

HMMM, I... Don't think so.

He didn't cry as a baby, he didn't cry as a child (and this isn't something I just decided on now - this is a major reason why his foster drow mother even kept him around) he didn't really cry growing up or at any point during the campaign. I think he is capable of it - sadness in him just tends to be far more confusing a feeling than anything else.

He will have emotional moments in ANE, whether or not that will culminate in crying is something you will have to wait to find out LOL

Astarion has noticed this and just took it as a character trait - the drow doesn't cry, he just gets confused, angry, frustrated or simply bottles it up. While he can be demanding of his emotional maturity, he isn't going to try and dictate how he should experience his own feelings. If it did happen it would definitely catch him majorly off-guard, perhaps even shift the perception he has of him to a certain extent.

Oh my god you just know they All managed to be utterly quiet about it for as long as humanly (and unhumanly) possible until like, I don't even know, halfway through the Shadow-cursed lands where one day Karlach finally turns back to the group around the campfire after a half-nude drow has strut past and she's like "SO

"DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHY HIS DICK HAS A SNATCH"

And Wyll is like :0... Karlach you can't just ask people that.

And then she pointedly turns to Astarion and starts trying to interrogate him on how it works while Gale covers his ears and Shadowheart is like:

This is gonna blow you guys backwards but he does not do those things in front of people and thinks its rude if you do.

HMMM Mostly physically but it's a little subtle. He really enjoys interacting with Astarion's (and previously Orin's) hands - kissing, holding, caressing. Touching hair and faces as well. He can engage in more overt physical affection but usually Astarion has to be the one to initiate.

A disarmingly earnest proclamation of love and adoration here and there as well - he isn't shy in the slightest to tell people how he feels about them, he just isn't constantly reminding them of it unless inspiration strikes.

Most of all I think he expects his loved-ones to see his care for them in his tendency to go out of his way to help them achieve their goals.

He went with them to the Shadow-cursed lands but I never helped him fix the curse, so he stayed behind when the gang went onwards to the city. DU Drow didn't really like him so it was good-riddance as far as he was concerned.

If he had come along and propositioned him during act 3 - uh, you know the really mean rejection line you have as a choice during that dialogue? Yeah, that one lmao.

Alas, DU drow is just monogamous. He could entertain group-sex with a partner for fun at the most, but not ever a third person in the relationship. And In my personal interpretation (but by all means - everyone else have fun with their poly arrangements!) of Astarion and his delivery of the "this is about Halsin" line, I also thought he was lying about being comfortable with it, so I write him as monogamous as well.

Nothing. Nada. Not a thing. Say what you'd like about Bhaal but he sure knows how sculpt them out of his murder-meat.

(Thank you!!!)

#ask compilation #DU drow lore #bg3 spoilers

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mikwaa · 10 months

Text

I'll always miss you, you will shine like gold in my memory.

Zhongli x Reader

Wc: 2.7k

Warnings: Angst, hurt no comfort, reader dies. Toxic relationship, Morax is an idiot brute, this is set in the Archon war, reader is a warrior.

A/n: I had this draft written here a while ago, decided to post it because it's one I really like. As the old Morax is described as a more rough and ruthless person, I imagine that for him to change there had to be a major event. And so I ended up writing this, maybe I'll do another ending because I genuinely don't like sad endings, but it went together so well I decided to leave it like this.

"Morax, please listen to me." And there you were, in one of those endless fights with your husband.

The reason this time was that you had found a group of people, begging for a place to stay, since they were wandering around. This group had been exiled from Sumeru, the reasons were not yet clear, nor did they know why. There were children, elders, even young pregnant women, you couldn't just ignore them and let them die.

And you had offered them a home in the Guili Plains, the place where the Liyue population was housed. But Morax did not accept, nor did he seem to want to change his mind.

"I've said what I think, and I'm not going to change it." And he didn't even look at you, on the contrary, he walked even faster to distance more from you.

"Can you stop being so irreverent?" You quicken your steps and stand in front of him, stopping him from moving forward.

He narrowed his eyes in your direction, his face turning into an angry frown, "I told you, don't make me repeat myself. If you choose to save those people, you can forget about coming back. I don't want you around." His words were sharp as blades, wounding as such.

And seeing his face without a drop of expression, without a single regret. How could he say such impactful things as if they were nothing?

"How can you talk like that? I'm your spouse, I'm just trying to help." You could already feel tears forming in your eyes, he always acted like a brute, but there were times you couldn't even handle it.

"You can help me by protecting my people, not by harboring strangers." The coldness with which he spoke to you was abysmal, it didn't even seem like you had any kind of relationship.

"They are people too, they have feelings too. They are afraid to die, they are simply out in the open."

"I care what's mine, we're in a war, we can't save everyone. And I chose to take care of what is mine, my territory together with my people". He states, with that usual stoic face. With that arrogance and selfishness that would drive anyone crazy with rage.

"So that's still a no?" Breathing heavily you ask him one last time, the hope you had of him giving in had simply vanished.

"It was always a no. If you're going to keep talking about it, you can save both your time and mine." Snide and sharp, he never seemed to change.

"Then you won't want me here anymore, I suppose." To his surprise, you wouldn't give up. You would keep your word no matter what.

"Go ahead." Nothing more, not a sentimentality, nothing. Just treating you like you were just another one of his pawns, like you were just another one in the crowd.

A hot tear ran down your face, your heart burning as if it had been recently scalded.

"Are you really going to treat me like this? Like I'm nothing to you, and this ring means nothing?" You removed the ring, holding it with trembling hands.

The engagement ring, which he had made for you himself, was so beautiful. With jade detailing all over the ring, and even more precious was the message it had, 'It will always be you'. According to him, it was to show how much you meant to him.

And now? Were those beautiful words just thrown to the wind?

He huffed, looking incredibly upset and tired of this situation, but he didn't show you anything, he wasn't sad, sorry, guilty, nothing. As if none of this mattered.

"Have it your way." Completely indifferent he mumbles.

"Okay." You threw the ring away, without even looking at where it went," If it meant nothing to you, it meant nothing to me."

Now he seemed to take some notice of you, but was clearly displeased.

But there was no time for him to talk or complain to you, you ran out of there. He wanted to go after you, but the pride he carried in his chest was stronger.

A feeling of guilt invaded his heart, but he still wouldn't let his feelings get the better of him, because he believed that you would go back on your decision.

You wouldn't exchange him for a group of people you barely know, but that was exactly the point he didn't understand. It wasn't that he wouldn't help you, it was the way he dealt with certain issues. He was so focused and objective, that should be good, but it wasn't the case with him.

He always complained that you think too much about others, just as you complain that his behavior is often harsh and hostile. He believed that you would come back, but he was wrong, very wrong.

it had been three weeks since you had even dared to look at each other. He couldn't swallow his pride, and neither could you. That arrogance and selfishness he possessed could get on anyone's nerves, and you were not immune to it.

No matter how many times you tried to make him understand that things were not practical as he claimed they were, he would never understand, he was a real brute.

And that was the last straw for you, people were not objects that he could control as and when he wanted, and he didn't seem to want to understand that.

You had left the village, and had no desire to return. You had tucked yourself away in a simpler hut and in a place you suspected Morax wouldn't go near. Even though you loved him so much, you doubted if he would ever change.

It was so many doubts mixed with the anger you felt about the things he said, you took it out on the monsters you met in front of you, without letting a single one escape.

With quick and precise blows, you used your blade with an unmistakable dexterity. But even this was not enough for what would happen next. A monster that you didn't even know what it was hit you, and ended up hurting you.

You didn't even know where it came from, you didn't even have time to react. Your body heaved and you fell to the grass abruptly, as you felt a sharp pain run through your entire body.

And when you managed to stabilize yourself and look at the monster, it was no longer there. It had already turned to dust.

"You with this stubbornness. You can't even take care of yourself." From the familiarity in his voice, it wasn't hard to guess that it was your husband.

"Shut up." You mustered the strength to speak, it seemed as if your strength was draining away second by second.

Even in such a state, the weakness and frailty you were in didn't seem to make any commotion in Morax.

"If you knew you wouldn't be like this." So cold, so distant. Every word of his hurt so much.

How could he be so indifferent? So cruel.

"You won't even see your spouse? You won't even try to take care of me?" Even though you tried to sound strong and imposing, all that came out was a shaky, tired voice.

"I'm no specialist in this. Go find help somewhere else, I told you I don't want you around." It wasn't just anger, it was a feeling of someone who had been defied, you hadn't followed his orders, and he was hating you for it.

You had traded him, that's what he had in mind, but you didn't leave because of that. You loved him like crazy, and you had helped him in many ways. But he still needed to think more about others, trust humans more.

To learn to understand that people were not just pawns that he moved when and how he wanted, it was far from that. And now he was experiencing the fact that someone might not follow his orders, and that someone was you.

He went to look over his shoulder one last time, as he began to notice a pool of blood starting to form around you, he hurried his steps over to you.

"I have to take you, the healers will help." Bending down close to you he whispers. The sudden change in behavior that soon showed his desperation.

"You know they won't, there's nothing else to do." You couldn't control the tear that welled up in your eye.

It had been a very deep wound, you didn't need any healer to tell you that you were hopeless, the village was far away, there would be no time to get there. Several other warriors had died like this, and it would be no different with you.

His stoic expression turned to one of terror, his pride gone in a matter of minutes.

"Don't talk foolishness." He nestles you in his arms, carrying you so gingerly that it seemed he was afraid of hurting you with the slightest touch.

"Leave me here," he opened his mouth to protest, and you continued, "Please."

He propped you up on his chest, wrapping you in the clothes of his own body, so that you were properly protected.

"Why are you so stubborn? I can't understand you." For the first time you heard him speak in a broken voice, he was trying not to cry.

"I just want to save time, you know you don't have much to do." You gently caress his face.

He wanted to tell you so much, but he couldn't put it into words, ever.

"I shouldn't have acted like that." Finally, he admitted it. But now it was too late for any regrets.

You intertwined your fingers with his, smiling faintly. He could feel your strength fading little by little, and he could do nothing.

You were too fragile, just like all humans. And he could do nothing.

Nothing.

He couldn't believe it, how could a being as powerful as him be so powerless like that? That shouldn't be right, but it was.

"Please stay." He pleads, but how could you fulfill that request? His voice was so shaken it sounded almost unrecognizable.

For the first time he was losing one of his partners, he had always protected them all as best he could, and none of them had gone so far. But the first was you, his first big loss was you. How would he be able to handle it? No, he couldn't.

"I will never forget your eyes, they are so beautiful." You say softly, almost inaudible.

And he let a tear escape, all the armor he had made in his heart had broken, and he couldn't control it. It was the love of his life leaving, all he could do was watch, how could he be so useless at a time like this?

"Stay, keep your eyes open, I'll get help, I'll…" Not even he himself believed his own words, much less believed that you could save yourself.

He felt so much guilt, how could he have been so negligent? He had never been very sentimental, but now he felt it all at once.

He could hardly describe his exact feeling, because he had no exact feeling. Now he understood all the human emotions you spoke of, a pity he could only understand now, on your deathbed.

The birds were singing, it was a beautiful day, the sun had the most beautiful glow. And yet Morax was there, on the grass with you in his arms, crying in despair like never before. The blood that stained the green of the vegetation, and the pain that remained impregnated in Morax's soul.

And then, like one of those tricks played by fate, everything fell silent. Morax sobbed softly, and made one last plea, "Don't leave me, I really care for you. I love you, stay here." He held your hand tightly, seeing how small it was compared to his.

It was the first time he had been that clear, he had never really opened his heart to you, a shame that the first time he said 'I love you', you were no longer there to hear it.

And as soon as he realized it, a faint cry was all that came out of Morax's mouth, followed by an audible sob. He realized that you died there, nestled in his arms, holding his hand, so angelic.

His beloved had left him, eternally.

Millennia had passed since your death, 3.800 years to be exact. Yet this hurt Morax so much that he was never able to forget you.

Even though he left the Archon life aside, now going by another name, Zhongli, and leading a more modest life as a simple Liyue citizen, the memories he had with you were vivid, shining like gold in his memory.

He martyred himself every day, he blamed himself, a guilt that he would never be able to eliminate from his chest, he would give everything, even his life for you to come back.

And today this feeling was stronger than ever, because it was the day of your death, the day you left him alone in this world. Another year had passed, and even so it seemed like yesterday when you died, at least that's how Morax felt.

And as he did every year, he bought your favorite flowers, picked them carefully to make sure that you would like them. Plus he provided the wine of his choice, it was the only thing that made his mind clear on a day like this, even if he wasn't very used to all that drinking.

When he was ready, he went to your tomb, which was made in the Guili Plains, the place where everything began, and also where everything ended. He always kept your grave clean, after all he visited you every day, no matter how hectic his routine could be, he would always come to your grave daily.

"I missed you, my dear." He says these words to the wind, anyone passing by would think he was crazy, but he didn't care.

He always spent hours talking to you, talking about everything that had changed, and how he had changed. He always thought that no matter where you were, you could always hear him.

Gently he put the flowers on the grave, and sat down on the floor, while pouring himself some wine. "I just wanted to remind you that I love you, more than anything else."

On a day like today, he wouldn't even try to hold back the tears, or the pain in his chest. He caught himself thinking how proud you would be to see the progress Liyue had made, how beautiful the city looked now.

He wanted to show you that he understood what you said in the last minutes of your life, he wanted to show you that you had become a better person. This was due to a great influence of yours, who now was not here to accompany him on this journey.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I did, my beloved. You would think it magnificent the way everything has progressed, how humans could achieve so much." His voice choked, his face red as the tears came down without stopping.

'His beloved' , was so sweet when it came out of his lips, but so melancholy by the look in his eyes, those gentle golden eyes that expressed so much sorrow.

A love ended in such a way could hurt so much, and Morax knew it. He had experienced it so harshly, but he stood firm to keep the nation you two had fought so hard for standing, and he would keep fighting because he thought it was the way to repay you for all you had done for him.

Every time he remembered you crumbling in his arms, his heart squeezed in such a way. Your face paled along with your frail body, looking as if it would break at any moment. And with that he remembered how much he missed you in his arms, your laughter, the warmth of your body, your beautiful face.

He missed it all, and remembered these moments bitterly, but also joyfully, because he remembered when you were still with him.

He would protect the people at all costs, and keep everything safe as long as he was alive, he would watch over everything you believed in. He would gladly do this for the rest of his days.

Now all he could do was wait, wait for him to take his last breath. And then finally, finally he could meet you, and tell you everything that happened during those years.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin imagines #genshin x y/n #zhongli x reader #zhongli x y/n #zhongli #zhongli imagines #genshin angst #zhongli angst #zhongli x you

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alexiabae · 9 months

Text

SAME; leah williamson x fem!reader

Summary: in which y/n wants to hide her relationship so as not to put much pressure on leah.

Warnings: fluff, confusion, reader is twin sister of florence pugh.

Note: English is not my first language.

N/A: Hello! I know that I don't talk so much here, but I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read what I write. It's been a while since I updated something, but I don't have time. So, I will update when I can. I'll let you all with this one shot, I'm not satisfied with it, but something is something, I guess. Enjoy the WWC.😊

not my gif.

"Then, I'll see you tonight?" Asked her sister from the other line. A hopeful tone accompanied her question.

Y/N gulp, feeling already bad. She can't. She promised someone else that this time she can go to this event.

"I can't... I'm so sorry, Flo. I know I haven't seen you for two months but, I promise someone that I will go to this thing. I'm always postponing it and tonight I have the free night. I'm really sorry." Y/N said fast and sad. She really misses her twin sister.

A silence was the answer for Y/N, or that it was she thought.

"I understand, silly. Of course I want to see you, but I'm here for two weeks, sooooo... I hope that we can see each other." Flo said. Her tone of voice sounds reassuring, but she knows her sister and knows that she is sad, maybe disappointed.

"Of course, Flossie! I missed you. See you very soon." Y/N promised, already planning in her mind that this time, she will be the one to surprise.

"Alright then! Have fun tonight and be careful. Love you a lot." Flo wished.

Y/N let out an involuntary smile; "Thanks, bug. If you go home, give our parents a lot of love. Love more, chef." She heard how her sister chuckled for the nickname that Y/N put her.

Then, they said a few more words and hung up.

Y/N sighed and walked towards her wardrobe, choosing something comfortable and informal for that night.

While she tried to distract herself until that night, someone had another plan.

My gunner♥️

Hi baby! I'm just talking to you now to confirm that you will come tonight.

If you can't, it's alright. I understand.

I miss you🥲

She chuckled to herself for Leah's antics. And soon come to her mind how assertive this text is right now. It's like if her girlfriend is intuitive that something could change the plan.

My distraction🤍

Hello beautiful captain.

Stop worrying, okay?

I can go and apart I promise you that I will come to this game and plus if it special for you because it's a final.

I miss you too, dramatic😘

My gunner♥️

I can't avoid it💁🏼‍♀️

I just wanted to know, that's all. I can't wait to see you, even if I saw you last week, it's too long for me🥹

Talk with my mother or brother when you're there, they have the reservation for you.

Love you, baby girl.

(also, I love when you call me captain, pls never stop)

Y/N loves Leah's personality. From the first moment that the blonde approached her in a club two years ago, Leah can be a dork during the major part, but she can be serious if the situation requires.

She typed reassuring words and promised that she will be there and supporting her whatever the results would be.

•••

The Oxford girl gets out of her car, feeling nervous. She supposed that it's a normal thing at this point, but no. Maybe there are a few reasons behind her nervousness, and she needs to put it aside and enjoy this night for her, because it's been a long time since Y/N has free time, and for Leah.

When she unblocked her phone, she saw Leah's mother, Amanda, text her. The woman told her that they are already there and she will wait for her. Y/N typed that she is there now and accelerates her steps towards the starting full crow.

She tried to pass unnoticed, so her clothes weren't too flashy. She didn't put on the new England shirt that Leah gave her, it hurts, but they both agree from the start that they will try to maintain their relationship in secret, only the near people would know it. Or almost.

"Hey, sweetie! Over here." Amanda's voice interrupted her train of thought. The woman, who has an arm raised to call her attention, wave her hand in the process too. "Nice to see you again, darling. It's been a long time since the last time we saw you. How are you?" Amanda asked her once she approached her and immediately engulfed her in a bug hug.

"Hello, Amanda. Nice to see you too! I'm good, what about you? I can't wait to have another family party like the other time." Y/N answered, receiving the hug with open arms, not knowing how much she needed that.

Amanda chuckled, separating a little from her, putting both hands on her shoulders.

"I'm fine too. Excited to see what happens tonight. About the family party we will have one soon, if you want to come you know that you will be welcome." Y/N smiled gratefully and soon Amanda led the way towards the VIP area, where most of the player's family is sitting there.

"Ohhh, my favourite sister is here!" Jacob's words made Y/N laugh, accepting the hug that the tall man wanted to give her.

"I still don't know what that means. But I like it." Y/N said honestly, giving Leah's dad another hug.

"Some day I will explain it to you, young lady." Jacob said in a wise tone.

"I'm two years older than you, Jake." Y/N pointed out laughing at his antics.

The Williamson boy shrugged and gave her an innocent smile. "They warmed up a few minutes ago." He informed her, looking briefly at the pitch. "She can't stop looking over here. It was a little annoying, actually. Or desperate, depending on how you look at it." He looked at her again and moved his eyebrows.

"Shut up, Jacob. Let your sisters alone." Amanda intervened, giving her son a warning look.

Y/N blushed a little for Amanda's reference towards her. It warmed her inside knowing that they truly cared about her.

Jacob and Y/N started to talk about trivial things in the meantime. Soon, the public started to clap, earning their attention. Both national teams started to approach in the pitch, England Vs. Brazil.

Y/N painted immediately a big smile when she saw Leah lead the way for her teammates. She saw Leah's concentrated face, showing her jaw clenched, something that Y/N secretively liked.

Once both teams put themselves in horizontal, the blonde eyes focus on the public, searching between the people until she finds her person. Leah bites a smile, preventing it from biting her lower lip.

"She saw you..." Jacob sang by her side, making Y/N roll her eyes with a smile.

"Jacob." Another warning from Amanda made the boy look away, sighing.

Y/N imitates Leah's action, biting her lower lip too.

She wanted to throw a kiss, but she stayed immobile on her spot and sang the anthem when it sounded.

•••

It's 30 minutes from the start and Y/N couldn't be more nervous. She and Jacob commented on the plays and mistakes from both teams, even if Y/N doesn't know too much about the sport.

She saw how Leah was giving everything from the start, showing to the world that she is in the same form as last summer and that a bad day could have everybody. Y/N loves how Leah shut up mouths in the pitch, how her answer is more powerful that some bitten words.

During the half time, Amanda offered to go grab some snacks for them, dragging with her Jacob even when Y/N offered herself help her, Y/N chose to grab her phone and see some messages. To her surprise, her brother texted her a few times.

TOby

Soooo...

It's my little sister enjoying football when she spends her whole life hating it?

Don't worry, you secret it safe with me ;)

Buuuuut... Meet me after it finishes okay?

Y/N blinked a few times, pressing the photo that her brother sent her.

It was him smiling like an idiot and behind him was the players, clearly he took the photo in the first half. But there was another photo, it was her looking distracted the match, with a lot of zoom.

The Oxford girl blushed for the second time that night. She looked immediately to where her brother was supposed to be, but she saw a lot of people blocking where he is.

"We're here! Take your coke and popcorn." Jacob offered her.

"Thanks." Y/N thanked him and came back to look where she was looking. When she didn't find him, decided to type him to let know that will wait him.

The rest of them match, Y/N get more relaxed but still was alert. And it didn't help that it went to the penalties, for her luck England won the first Finalissima. She saw proudly how Leah raised the trophy in the air, earning the ovation from the public. Her family was over the moon, Amanda even got emotional.

Leah after celebrating with her teammates a little, before the big party, she, like others, went to the family section. Her eyes inevitably are focusing on Y/N, where she was sitting next to her brother, chatting animatedly.

"Sweetie, I think Leah wants to see you." Amanda put her hand in Y/N knee to call her attention.

Y/N looks to where Leah is standing, in effect she is waiting for her or them to approach her.

She raised from her seat and frowned when notice that the other three stayed behind.

"Don't come with me?" She asked confused.

"We will give some alone time." Jacob explained, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Thank you, young gentleman." Y/N teased him a little, walking to where Leah is waiting with other players.

"Hey you." Leah said greet her in a deep and raspy voice. Her hands in the barrier, balancing herself softly.

"Hi captain." Y/N whispered once she was in front of her. She saw how Leah's eyes darkened and her jaw clenched, her cheeks colouring red. She chuckled lowly.

They maintain the distance, knowing very well where they are. For Leah it's hard not to jump the barrier and hug while kissing her.

"Hello, Y/N. Nice to see you." Keira interrupted the battle's eyes that Leah and her were maintaining.

"Hi, Keira. Nice to see you too. And congratulations by the way." Both leaned into each other to hug.

"I can't believe you hugged her first." Leah said with her eyes into them both.

Keira and Y/N snorted, knowing very well her behaviour.

"It's not my fault that I'm better than you." Keira teased her friend and ran away before Leah chased her, knowing too that if her girlfriend is involved, she can go easily.

Leah watched how her friend ran giggling like a child where Georgia is standing.

"Do you want a hug?" Y/N called her attention. Leah turned to look at her and nodded smiling shyly, making her girlfriend laugh. "You are a baby sometimes."

Leah grunted on her neck, passing her arms around Y/N's waist and relaxed when the other involved her arms around her neck.

"Congrats my love. You played amazingly." Y/N whispered on her hair, knowing that the blonde listened to her.

The gunner blushed, for her luck, her face was hiding on her neck and no one could see it.

"Thank you, baby." Leah gives her a sutil kiss on her neck and separates from her, leaving her arms on the barrier but looking at her with appreciation.

"Okay. I'll let you talk with your family. I'm going to see someone that I know is here." Y/N explained, Leah gives her a questioning look. "Later I will explain to you." She clarified.

Leah nods slowly and watches how step up towards she was before.

•••

"Where are you?" Y/N called his brother when she walked where he was supposed to be and didn't find him.

"Wait over there. I'm not too far away." Toby said, hanging up.

Y/N sighed while watching her phone seriously. It does not pass too much time when she feels someone lift her up.

"How is my little sister?" Toby's voice relaxed her.

"Put me down, you idiot." Y/N command.

His brother does what she told him and once she is on the floor, she turns to look at him, seeing a silly smirk painted on her lips.

"What are you doing here?" Y/N asks curious, hugging him by his shoulders.

"I can ask the same. But answering yours... I'm here with a friend, Dave. What about you." He hugged her too, separating later to look at her.

Y/N bites her lower lip. "I'm here because... A friend invited me." Y/N said, not lying after all.

Toby raised an eyebrow.

"And for casualty your friend it's not a player?" He inquired.

"Maybe..." Y/N said, trailing off.

"Okay." He simply says, smiling and hugging her sister.

Y/N knew him and right now felt very grateful for having an understanding brother, so she hugged him back.

"I thought you were with Flo." Y/N states.

"Yeah... But I have plans too. I feel bad, just like you. But I promise her that I will see her tomorrow. We will go to Oxford. Are you coming with us?" Toby explained, separating once again from the hug.

"Yeah. But I want to give her a surprise, so I will go on my own." She explained what she wanted to do.

Toby smiled. "Alright. I'll keep your secret." Tobey kisses her cheek a few times and promises him that she will be okay, they part ways, Y/N coming back where she was.

•••

"You look serious... Are you okay?" Leah whispered on Y/N's lips, hugging her by her waist.

Y/N nods, intertwined her hands on Leah's neck.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I'm fine." She kissed her lips repeatedly, enjoying how Leah left a whimper when she stopped.

They both are outside of the changing room, hiding in a secluded area. Y/N was learning her back on the wall while Leah was in front of her. The party inside of the changing room can be heard while the girls are chatting, screaming or chanting.

The blonde, who is a little taller than her girlfriend, directed her lips to her forehead and remained there for a few long seconds. She knew that Y/N was lying but stayed quiet, not wanting to press.

"Okay, something happened." Y/N said lowly. She hugged her more, hiding her head between her chest and neck, quitting off her arms around her neck to replace them on her waist.

Leah hummed, indicating she is paying attention.

"The person that I saw before was Toby." She started. Leah knew who Toby was, never met him but knew who he was. "He was here with a friend. But it's for another reason that I feel bad..."

"What is it?" Leah asks kindly, passing her right hand on Y/N's back, up and down while she occasionally lets a kiss on her head.

"It's my sister. She is in town, she called before. I told her that I can't meet her tonight and neither Toby, I hope she is with some friends right now..." Y/N explained still in the same tone of voice.

Leah smiles sadly. "I told you before that it was okay if you can't come tonight." She said, imitating her tone.

"I know. And just for that I didn't tell you. It's been a long time since you've been begging me to come to a game and when I can come, my sister that I barely see calls to meet me..." Y/N trailed off, letting out a big sigh. She started how her eyes were watering, the stress showing up.

"Shhh... I could understand the reason, baby. And I'm sure your sister isn't mad at you. She understands too that you have a life apart from her." Leah tried her best to cheer her up, feeling a little bad herself that the two couldn't meet but she covered it quickly, not wanting that Y/N notice it and felt worse.

The first tears started to fall, and quickly Y/N brought her hand to wipe it fast, feeling a fool. Leah noticed it and separating a little, she brought both hands in Y/N face and wiped her tears with her thumbs.

"You still can see her. How many is she staying this time?" The defender asks, trying to find a solution.

Y/N thought for a moment, focusing her eyes on Leah's. "She told me that she will be staying for two weeks."

"See. You can call her and tell her that you will meet her tomorrow." Leah proposed, leaning her head aside.

"I thought that I could surprise her by going to Oxford. It's been a while since I've seen my parents, Bella and Raffie too, and she travels over there tomorrow with my brother." Y/N looks closely at Leah's reaction at her idea.

For her relief, the blonde let out a toothy smile; "I think it is a fantastic idea." She reassured her to add quickly. "Wait, I love the idea of you spending time with your family... But I'm going to miss you a lot, what am I supposed to do?" Soon her toothy smile was replaced by a pout.

Y/N bites her lower lip, not hiding the smile creeping on her lips. "You can meet Alex, your family, your Arsenal teammates..." She countered, raising her hand up and showing a new finger every time she said a name.

Leah rolled her eyes, bringing down her hand and intertwining it with hers.

"I'll give you two days." Leah shut Y/N's protest with a kiss.

•••

"Do you have everything?" The blonde asked in the entry of Y/N's room, leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossing about her chest, looking carefully at how the other girl put on her shoes.

Y/N raised her head to look at her and smiling she nodded, standing up once she put on her shoes and going to where Leah is. She wrapped her arms in Leah's midsection and gave her an eskimo kiss making the other chuckle but still in the same position.

"Finally I put out that long face." Y/N teased.

The defender rolled her eyes. "Shut up." She muttered, now hugging her by her waist, locking her hands there.

Leah stayed that night after celebrating with her teammates, opting to go a little before and pass time with her girlfriend before she goes to Oxford.

"Are you staying in your apartment or with your mum?" Y/N asked, raising her right hand to Leah's neck and playing with her baby hairs.

Leah's muscles relaxed immediately. "With my mum. Maybe tonight I will pass the night with Alex. I'll let you know." She answered groggily, her voice raspy and a little broken from the previous night.

Y/N knew that Leah doesn't like to be alone if she feels sad, so hearing that she will be accompanied these days, made her happy.

Looking at the clock briefly, she said; "I need to go..." Y/N whispered, biting her lip.

The blonde let her head on her left shoulder, letting out a defeated sigh. "A little more, please." She said, closing her eyes.

"I hate to say it but if I stay, I will lose the train." Y/N said, sighing softly.

Leah grunted.

"Alright, you're free to go." Leah huffed, coming back to the last position, looking at her.

Y/N rolls her eyes.

"Baby... Don't be mad please." She begged, kissing Leah's cheek repeatedly.

"Sorry..." The blonde muttered, feeling bad already.

"I'll let you know when I arrive at the station and Oxford." Y/N downplayed it and let her know, going to grab her suitcase.

"Okay. Be careful and enjoy your time with them. Anything you need, call me. No matter the time. I love you." Leah said honestly, grabbing her face and giving her a long kiss.

"Same here. Love you too." Y/N reciprocated the kiss and with another trail of kisses, she left her apartment.

•••

The way to Oxford consisted of talking with her father to go for her and saying that he can't say anything to anyone, less to Flo.

Send text messages to her boss to thank them for giving her some free days.

And promising Leah that when she comes back, she would do anything that the blonde wants to do.

For her luck, the trip wasn't too long and soon was there, receiving a call from her father telling her that he was already there, waiting for her.

"There you are!" Y/N's father greeted her when he saw his daughter, smiling from ear to ear when saw her.

"Hey, dad! I missed you." The girl said, letting her father engulf her in a big hug.

"Me too. It's not the same now the house without you all." He said, separating from the hug, grabbing her suitcase and passing an arm around her shoulder, side hugging her while they started to walk towards his car.

"Well, Raffie still lives with you two." Y/N point out.

"Yeah, yeah. But still, the scream for little things is something that we miss. Never thought I said that." He admitted, laughing briefly.

Y/N smiled nostalgic.

"I guess you have some days with that thing. Enjoy it." Y/N said, chuckling when her father made a grimace.

Once they were in the car, Y/N sent a text at Leah, letting her know that she is in Oxford and with her dad.

"How's the bar going?" Y/N asked him, putting down her phone.

"The same. I'm doing some research to find new waiters or waitresses. Are you interested?" He asked hopefully.

Y/N laugh. "Nice try, dad. But I'm good in London."

They chatted a little more and soon they arrived. He parked the car in front of the garage, the snowy pavement gave her a welcome. She missed her days here, the snowy days where she and her siblings would be outside all day until some of parents called them to get inside.

She noticed the ambiance from outside. Like the old days, the house looked the same as the familiar presence.

"Let's go, kiddo. It's freezing outside." Her father urged her.

"I guess the old habits never change." Y/N teased her father, who never liked the cold.

Before her father opened the door, he stopped and turned to look at her.

"Do you want to enter first?" He questioned, his hand on the knob.

"I prefer to go behind you. Give them the full surprise." She informed, hugging herself from the cold.

"Alright." He said and by opening the front door, he walked inside. When she entered inside was met by loud chatting and laughing. It warmed Y/N's heart to hear them this happy.

"I'm here!" Her father said loudly, letting them know. He quit his jacket and put it on the coat stand.

"Finally! Where are you?" Her mother said from the dining room, where probably all of them was there.

"Doing some errands." He informed quickly, walking once that Y/N quit off her jacket.

"What errands?" She asked again.

They approached the dining room and Y/N put herself on her father's back, trying no one to see her.

"Something that you will like." He said confidently.

Her mother snorted.

"What is it dad?" Raffie asked curious, sitting on the floor.

"I think I know what it is." Toby sang, smirking triumphant. All of them look at him, curious and confused. His father wink at him.

"Of course. Little Toby knows what it is." Florence teases him.

Y/N put herself nervous when she heard her twin sister's voice. It's been a long time since she didn't see her.

And then, she decided it was time for her.

"It can't be a reunion familiar if there was missing one person." Y/N said coming out from her spot. She saw how all of them let out exclamative expressions.

The first person to go towards her was Flo, who ran and threw herself in Y/N's arms, squealing. Raffie threw herself towards them too, hugging both of them.

"Oh my god! Are you kidding me?" Flo separates from her a moment to look at her face and once again hug her sister.

"I can't breathe." Y/N said in a muffled voice. She was soon released from Flo's grip, Raffie remaining an arm around her sister.

Y/N felt relieved when the air hit her lungs again. She saw how Bella and her mom walked towards her with big smiles.

"My baby." Her mom said affectionately, bringing her face between her hands and kissing her cheek repeatedly.

"Hey! What about us?" Raffie said indignant, quitting off her arm while crossing her arms.

"Yeah, mum. I'm your baby too!" Florence whined, throwing herself between the hugs.

"Where is my niece?" Y/N asked Arabella, wanting to change the subject quickly because she knew what would happen.

Bella pointed with a finger at a spot where a buggy is. She walked slowly there and saw a little form sleeping peacefully. In the midway over there, she embraced her older sister.

"She would meet the whole family this time." Bella whispered while looking at her baby.

Someone hugged Y/N from behind and lifted her up.

"I swear to god if you don't stop doing that, I will kick your ass." Y/N threatens her brother, knowing that Toby is doing that.

Toby chuckled like a child but put her down.

"I can't resist it. You're easy to piss." He said, copying Raffie's gesture and leaving his arm around her shoulders.

The rest of the day was passing while they were all caught about their lives. At some point, Y/N was feeling sad. They all seemed to be happy while sharing their happy memories and Y/N has happy memories that not involved her girlfriend, but less because she is in the major part of it.

So, she excused herself and went to the kitchen, sitting in the chair that accompanied the small table there. She puts her elbows on the table, playing with the long sleeves fluffy beige jersey that she is wearing and lets her rest her head, closing her eyes.

"Your siblings are going to go outside, they asked me to tell you. They're waiting for you." Her mother interrupted in the kitchen. Her voice was kind, maybe she noticed that Y/N wasn't feeling good. "You're here for about ten minutes, honey. Everything okay?" She approached her slowly, taking the seat next to her.

"No." Y/N was tired of lying about how she emotionally is feeling. Her voice sounded weak, almost indicating that soon she would cry.

"What happened?" Her mother asked, concerned. She brought a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

"I'm tired, mum." Y/N said, bringing her red eyes to look at her mother, biting her lower lip with force to prevent the first sobs.

"About what?" She asked a little scared, after all, is not always when you saw one of your children in this state.

"About everything." Y/N started, letting the first tears come out, this time she doesn't wipe them. Then, she threw herself between her mother's arms, who caught her and hugged her protectively, caressing with a hand her head, brushing with her fingers Y/N's hair. "I want to be normal. I don't want the attention. I want to h-hold my girlfriend's hand without s-someone pointing at it. That you all s-spend time with her." She ranted, letting out how she is feeling, without realising that she admitted being with someone.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't know that you were feeling pressured." She said, feeling sad about finding it while her daughter can't hold it anymore. She also wanted to ask about this girl, feeling that it is a delicate subject right now. "Since when are you feeling this way?"

"Since Flo started to get more attention. It's not always, but there are days where I can't with it and I hate being her sister. I guess I'm lucky that I don't look a lot physically like her, so it would be worse." Y/N let her angrier thoughts out, blaming her sister for something that she can't control, even if Y/N knew that.

Her mother let sink it, processing what she said and searching for the right words. "You should talk about this with us sooner, sweetie. We can't help if you don't say anything. And just to clarify and I know you knew it but I need to tell it. Your sister doesn't have the same fault that people wanted to know all about her in every moment. This is the consequence for doing what she most loves. So, please, go to therapy, talk with us, more importantly, talk with your sister... Talk with someone, you don't need to carry it on while you feel and shut up about it." Her mother tried to say it with the most caring and love she felt for her daughter, holding her own tears.

"Y/N, let's go! We want to go to gr-... What happens?" Raffie's cheerful voice comes to a change when saw the situation. She freezes on the entry, looking static how her sister tries to hide her sobs, failing.

"It's nothing, Raffie. Go with your siblings, your sister will accompany you all later." Their mother said firm, not letting her ask more questions.

"But mom..." Raffie started to say but shut up when saw her teary but firm eyes from her mother. She walked towards them and kissed Y/N's head, just like she did on a few occasions in the past with her, she walked outside again.

To Raffie's gesture, Y/N gets more emotional.

They are like that for a good amount of time, until Y/N stops crying and gets more relaxed. Her mother decided to make hot chocolate, knowing that it could bring some happiness into Y/N's body, since it is her favourite.

"Can I ask you something?" Her mother said, searching for the milk.

Y/N bites her lower lip, sensing what it is.

"Yes, of course." She said in a raspy voice, clearing her throat later.

"How many are you with this girlfriend?" She asked in a protective tone, earning a snort from Y/N.

"Mum, please. I'm 27 years old." She said, smirking when her mother gave her an offended look.

"I don't care. You are my baby. Wait until your father finds out." Her mother said, turning on to prepare the hot chocolate.

Y/N chuckles. She can feel her eyes heavy, but right now she doesn't care.

"About seven months." She admitted, counting it on her head while looking at the ceiling, confirming it nodding with her head to herself

"Excuse me?!" Her mother turned on to look at her scandalised. Y/N blushed. "That's a lot."

"I know... Sorry." She apologized.

"I want to know everything about this girl." Her mother said while putting the hot cup with chocolate in front of her, taking the same seat next to her.

•••

"Where are you all?" Y/N asked Raffie once she answered her call.

"We are in Nana house. Later we will go to the supermarket. Are you coming?" Raffie informed, changing her tone when she asked, choosing for one of worry and hope.

"I'm on my way. Dad gave me his car keys, so in about ten minutes I'm over there." Y/N explained, getting in the car.

"Okay. Nana said be careful and can't wait to see you." Y/N at this, hearing how their nana was speaking from behind.

They hung up and Y/N started the car, putting direction towards Nana's house. The sun was hiding fastly while she drove, making the snow place more cold without it.

After spending an hour in her Nana's house, where she can't stop smiling about her grandmother's behaviour, they all decided to go to the supermarket before it closed.

"Mum, we are here!" Toby shouted out, earning a bad look from their older sister, who stayed there to take care of her newborn. "Sorry, I forget." He gave her an apologetic smile while walking fast to the kitchen to let her bags there.

"Hey, Flo. Do you want to cook with me?" Y/N asked her sister, who walked behind her. She looked at her and saw how Flo's smile was on display.

"Of course. We need to feed these children." She said excitedly, running to prepare the things.

Y/N chuckled to her antics.

"I'm not a child." Raffie complained, entering the kitchen. Florence and Y/N look at each other, smiling knowingly.

"It would only say someone who is a child." Toby said, running outside when Raffie tried to chase him, the mentioned running behind.

"These two..." Flo giggled.

They decided to make a light and not complicated dinner. They put on some low music and cooked to the tune, the silence between them making Y/N think about her problems. Choosing to share it with her, she cleared her throat.

"Flo?" She called her. Her sister hummed, letting her know that she is listening.

"I need to tell you something." Y/N said nervously, mixing the right ingredients together, removing it with a spoon.

"I'm listening." She said kindly. Y/N can feel her eyes on her back, but she decided to stay in that position, knowing if she turned, she could say anything.

"Yesterday, when you called, I told you that I had plans. Well, it's true. But this plan wasn't any plans. I can't meet you because I told my girlfriend that I would go to her game. You know? I didn't tell you before because I didn't want anyone to find out. Even my family. I wanted to be selfish and keep it to myself. I hated you because for your fault, or that was a thought, I needed to blame someone and it was you, because I'm Florence Pugh's sister. And then, I fell in love with a professional footballer that day by day, she is earning more attention. I know it's not your fault, or Leah's. But I guess for me, you were the villain and not the noisy people who wanted to know everything about the famous person's relatives." Y/N finished said. To her surprise, the nervousness got away during her explanation.

She felt how Flo wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. "Now I have a reason for why you can't do anything with me in the past. When I called you and you told me that you can't, that you have a lot of work to do. Or when we meet but you hold yourself. I know in some part of me, that I made something to you, something bad. I'm thankful that you share it with me now." Florence said, her voice full of emotion. This time Y/N turned on her arms and hugged her.

"I'm sorry, Flossie. You don't do anything bad. It's me. You know I'm special in the emotional department." The last comment made her sister laugh.

"Talk to me about Leah." Florence said kindly, seeing Y/N's face illuminated at the mention of Leah.

"Well. I met Leah about a year ago. We got together to the end from last summer. She approached me in a club, at first I didn't pay her much attention, thinking maybe recognized me and wanted to meet you instead. But she is stubborn, you know? About the third month of knowing each other, I told her who you are. And to my surprise she told who she is. I didn't know who she actually was. From the start of our relationship we agreed to keep it private, not passing much time together on full streets or if I'm going to a match not hugging her too much time... To the point where I don't let her meet you all." Y/N said, looking with a dreamy look on her eyes the almost ready dinner. Florence finished her part and was standing beside her, looking at her closely. "I met her family. And I'll go to some of their barbecues or parties. At some point I zoned out and I imagine how it could be with Leah with you all..." Y/N trailed off, grabbing the plates.

"Is the dinner ready?" Toby entered the kitchen touching his tummy. "I'm hungry."

Flo stayed silent looking at her sister, processing everything she told her. Toby noticed it and looked at them confused.

"Take the cutlery, teletubbie." Y/N said calmly, turning around to see him. She saw how he rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.

Before he exits from the kitchen, turns around again and looks at Y/N; "Your phone didn't stop to sound." Then, he got out.

Y/N frowns, walking behind him taking other things that they will need for dinner. She took off the charger and unblocked it, finding a lot of messages from Leah.

The blonde sent her a photo of her and Alex, making Y/N smiled like a fool reading the texts Leah sent her.

Florence came out from the kitchen to the dining room and noticed how the smile was bigger each second. She took a note mentally to do a thing and hoped that her sister doesn't get mad at her.

•••

Leah turned on her bed once again, letting out a tired sigh. She hates that she is tired but can't sleep.

And it didn't help that incoming notification sound at this time. Leah turned in the darkness and looked for her phone. It's weird. She saw it was from an unknown number.

It was 02:07 a.m. making it more weird. Who was texting her at this hour?

She unblocked her phone and pressed on the chat, starting to read the long text.

Unknown

Hello! I'm Florence, Y/N's twin sister. Sorry for the hour but I was thinking about it since I spoke with my sister. She told me about you and I can't wait to meet you. I know you are a professional footballer and I understand if you can't come anytime soon, but if you can come to Oxford tomorrow and give Y/N a surprise, I will always be grateful to you. Let me know if you can come :)

Goodnight xx.

Leah can't avoid smiling at this. She re-read it, and typing something quickly, she let herself sleep immediately.

•••

When Y/N woke up the next day, she was surprised to not find her sister sleeping there. Usually when Flo has free time for herself, she oversleeps, but this time, she was up.

She gets ready quickly and after going to the bathroom, -she hears quiet voices directed from the kitchen, but she doesn't pay much attention- Y/N walked slowly towards there while reading some texts from some friends and Leah.

"Good morning." Y/N greeted without looking up, going to the fridge still with her phone in her hand.

The silence after Y/N enter was epic. Flo bites her lower lip to hold a laugh while her parents, who were sitting with their coffee cups, look at each other.

"Good morning." Said her sister, looking at the guest person, who was looking at Y/N funnily.

"Good morning, honey." Their parents said at the unison. Y/N still doesn't look up. She was in her little world preparing her breakfast.

"Don't worry about making your coffee, I brought your favourite." At the new voice Y/N freezes on the spot, not believing.

Y/N turned on the spot slowly, meeting the blue eyes that she loves.

"What are you doing here?" She said really surprised, seeing how Leah was waving at her with a latte cup, a shy smile playing on her lips.

Leah shrugged. "I came to meet your family. I heard that your mom wanted to know me."

Y/N looked at her mom; "Don't look at me! I didn't contact her. But yeah, I want to meet the person who makes you happy." Her mother said sincerely, looking with enthusiasm at Leah.

"It was me." Florence said, covering her face with a hand, like a child.

"How?" Y/N asked, going to where Leah is and giving her a kiss on her cheek. She wanted to give her a proper kiss, but she was in front of her parents.

"Your phone." Florence simply said, shrugging smiling while she saw the little gesture.

"Okay..." Y/N frowns, confused. "But how is she coming so fast?" She asked rhetorically.

"Well... I can't sleep. So I decided to drive towards here." Leah explained.

"Why so enthusiastic this morning?" Raffie came inside, looking at everyone there until her eyes fell in Leah. Her reaction was funny, she first frowned until her eyes started to open so much. "YOU'RE LEAH WILLIAMSON! WHY ARE YOU ON MY HOUSE?" She yells, pointing with her index finger at Leah.

"Shh. Raffie be more careful. Your niece and siblings are still sleeping." Her mother scolds her daughter with a funny look.

"Do you know Leah?" Florence and Y/N asked at the same time, making the twins smile at each other.

"Yeah! She is a fashion icon. Well, I know you're a professional footballer, but I follow you because I really love your style." Raffie explained, sitting in front of Leah and Y/N.

Leah smiles embarrassed, her cheeks turning red. "Thank you." She said lowly.

"You're welcome." Raffie said smirking. "But why are you here?"

The blonde looked at Y/N. "Well... I'm Y/N's girlfriend." She said timidly, seeing how the mention looks briefly down biting a smile.

"No way! Leah Williamson is my sister-in-law? Awesome." Raffie immediately approves of their relationship.

For Y/N it means a lot.

She is grateful that Florence paid attention when she told her about her scenario dream. Y/N and Flo shared a look, and they communicated with a simple look. Florence just nodded lightly, knowing what her sister was saying with that look.

"I hope it is okay that I came." Leah whispered in a moment where everyone there was distracted.

Y/N look at her with a love sick smile. "You don't know how it makes me happy that you're here."

Leah copied her smile and leaned to kiss her cheek.

#woso x reader #woso #woso imagine #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson

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thearchercore · 3 months

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As a Lando fan, but first and foremost a Max and Charles fan, I’m quite disappointed in Lando. It’s true what they say, not everyone is happy when you are on top and your real friends show their true colours.

You are right, Max says what he thinks and never filters it. While Charles is a PR King (let’s be honest he’s more of a princess but that’s besides the point) but never once has he thrown shade at Max since they became friends (at least not that I know of)

Now, Daniel is not, has never been and will never be someone about him. Nothing against him, just vibes. But the fact that Max has held him so dear and close to his heart and he goes ahead and throws major shade at Max when Max was being nothing but honest at Vegas then makes sure to hang out with Lando during Winter break the other driver who is Max’s publicly known bestie on the grid (I mean the man even attends P’s birthday parties) anyway I digress. It’s just outright shady and childish.

Max is on another level and not everyone will understand that. True friendship should withstand such challenges. Of course anyone would be jealous and intimidated by such dominance and success but to deny the man like Peter denying Jesus infront of the crowd is just sad. I mean c’mon, did he mean it as a joke? Also was Daniel attempting humour? It’s possible but I can’t see someone like Charles making such weird comments. Even when they were beefing, Charles made it known that him and Max are okay and even though they are not best friends their relationship or hang out outside the paddock (back then things are different now) he still loved racing against Max because they understood each other and how they raced.

It’s actually petty for grown men to belittle their friend because of his success. But what do I know, the sport destroyed a childhood friendship (Nico + Lewis) Maybe only the realest and toughest friendships survive. Viva Charles and Max (whether you ship them or as friends) it’s real and they are always rooting for each other.

Sorry this got long.

yeah, i feel like the difference between daniel's current place in f1 and max's is playing a significant factor. again, max joined RBR when he was essentially still a teenager that was battling with puberty. daniel was there as the mature driver that max looked up to.

now, fast forward to 2024, daniel is fighting for his last chance at f1 after many unsuccessful team moves, and max is much more mature and has 3 WDC titles under his belt. that certainly changes things.

so i'm sure that if for whatever reason rbr kicks out checo and daniel jumps in, their dynamic would be different.

lando, on the other hand, is a different story. @tsarinablogs had a great post where someone suggested "I think Lando couldnt handle his car actually being competitive. Thats what weakened their friendship. It’s easy to be friends when you are driving a slow car, but then the car actually got competitive and he still couldnt beat Max."

again, the truth is -- f1 is a highly competitive environment and everyone will fight for themselves first without a doubt. that's what's happening with daniel and lando. daniel wants that red bull seat, lando wants to beat max. and that is going to be their priority over whatever friendly relationship they may have with max.

on the other hand, there are only 20 drivers in f1 so you have 20 other co-workers who share the same experiences as you. so you will always be closer to them than anyone else because no one would get you that well.

i think what works well currently between max and charles is that no matter how much media tried to put them against each other, they alway showed mutual respect to each other. charles never talked shit about max in press, and the overall vibe they have going on recently is that charles is happy for max's success, and is working hard to gain his own. also their actions speak a lot -- like charles' putting aside ferrari's questionable qatar strategy and rushing to congratulate max on his WDC. or max running to charles to apologise for his mistake in vegas.

their relationship doesn't seem to be definined by their racing results, and their joint racing history also makes them more equal in their own eyes than other drivers.

#charles leclerc #lestappen gate 2023 #lestappen #formula 1 #f1 #lestappen gate 2024

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chuplayswithfire · 2 years

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So like, fandom has a racism problem, yeah. That's not a surprise. Fandom's just a microcosm of the rest of society, and society's got a racism problem. But the more I look across content, the more I've started to realize people don't seem to understand why racism is.... a problem.

And that makes it harder for people to see racism, when they don't really... understand why and how it's a problem. I've been thinking about this for the last day, and so I'm making this post today because I finally had a chance to sit and put my thoughts together in a way that I hope will make sense.

Because here's the thing. I've been getting... more and more the idea that people think racism is a problem because it makes people feel bad. That Jim stabbed that British officer because calling Frenchie a slave was an insult that hurt Frenchie's feelings. That Ed had the French captain skinned and thrown overboard because calling Ed a donkey hurt his feelings. That the ship full of aristocrats were jerks because they hurt Ed's feelings.

And like. Yeah, I mean, on a very surface level, their feelings were hurt, sure, those were shit things to experience. But it's not about their feelings, first and foremost. Racism isn't about making people feel bad. Those things weren't bad just because they were especially shit insults.

Racism is about making structural oppression. It's about making people less - not making them feel less, but legally, socially, morally, literally, less than. It's about establishing "this is a person, and that is not a person". It's about society wide depersonalization. And in the context of OFMD especially, it's about whiteness and colonization, and the way that racism is the socially created and legally enforced system through which whiteness decides who counts and who doesn't. Who is a person and who is a thing.

Slaves and donkeys? These are things. These are items to be bought and traded and sold and put down and compensated for the loss. They are not people with rights and freedoms and protections, they are line items on someone's accounting sheet, objects with monetary value pre-determined and understood.

Frenchie isn't called a slave because that British officer (yeah, I'm not learning his name, not sorry) felt like being an ass or wanted to make him feel bad. He called Frenchie a slave because he was furious that some thing, some object, some less than creature, was speaking to him as if they could have even the faintest hope of being on the same playing field, let alone equally human. He was declaring Frenchie an object and a tool that should be silent unless spoken to.

That's why Jim throws that knife at him. That's why Jim is pissed enough to blow their cover even with a fuck-off huge warship right next to them.

Because everyone on the ship knows exactly what being a slave would make Frenchie. And Jim especially has reason to be aware of and sensitive to that, given that Jim is in love with a Black man who's already been being demeaned, dismissed, and disdained through this whole encounter.

Those British officers get their shit wrecked because they're declaring people the crew loves to be less than they are, less than human, reminding them all that in the world outside of piracy Frenchie, Oluwande, and Roach aren't people but property. Objects. And that shit's not fucking acceptable.

This logic directly follows through with the French captain Ed has killed - which, let's be clear, that French captain was definitely going to be killed no matter what, because this is a pirate raid and if they massacred what seemed to be a majority of the crew already, there's little chance they'll leave the dickbag captain alive behind them. So this isn't a man who got killed because he was a racist fucking dick.

This is a man who got himself a worse death being a racist fucking dick.

The scene plays out in a very similar way as the previous dickbag racist to get got, except in this case, there's no Jim to to take control of the situation (Stede is not able particularly helpful here because of his own implicit biases that he's yet to unpack), there's just Ed and Fang here to react to this situation.

And the situation is - the French Captain being a racist, and specifically choosing to focus on being a racist to Ed rather than just being generally anti-pirate. I'd thought that was pretty clear until I came across the sentiment that Ed is lashing out here because his "feelings were hurt" rather than because he was responding to racist bigotry, so let's be blunt about that.

Stede starts the interaction with a characteristically bitchy remark about how there's a distinct lack of saucier spoons on this "supposedly first class vessel", but when the French captain throws out, "my apologies... hadn't imagined we'd be hosting your kind", the meaning of that statement goes right over Stede's head. He registers insult, sure, but the way Ed stills there? The way he closes his eyes and then turns and requests clarification in a way that is clearly meant to give this asshole a chance correct his mistake?

That's Ed identifying what Stede missed. That when the French captain says your kind he's not referring to pirates. And that's made clear by the fact that when he continues on, he doesn't direct his response to Ed And Stede, he directs it to Ed specifically.

"A rich donkey is still a donkey."

That's the French captain doing what the British officer did. Naming Ed for an object, a beast of burden, a thing that is not worthy of recognition or respect or acknowledgement. Ed's Blackbeard and yet as far as this asshole is concerned, by the very fact that he's not white nothing he's ever accomplished, not the fear he inspires or the legend he's built, matters in the face of that.

That's what racism is about.

It's about whiteness establishing that the most successful, the most fearsome, the most legendary of all pirates is an indigenous man and that makes him worth less than any white man. He's got this captain's life in his hands, and even that can't make the man treat Ed with a crumb of caution or respect. He's not a person to that French man. He's an upstart, an animal stepping out of line.

And honestly, I think too many people think Stede's reaction was the right one. Because it wasn't. At all.

Stede's not helpful here, I mentioned earlier, because he's got his own implicit bias acting as baggage. When Ed expresses his absolute fury at this man calling him a donkey, a beast of burden, an animal, even though he doesn't know nothing about Ed, Stede's response - is to try and stop the anger, rather than address the source of it. "Don't debase yourself for a man who doesn't have a single tureen on board." @knowlesian has written some great meta on the subject of this response, but to put it simply - Ed also doesn't have a tureen on his ship, Stede, and there's nothing debasing in a natural and normal anger response.

Someone labels you an animal, a beast, a creature, you should get angry. They should get cussed the fuck out. Especially because again, it's not unique. The French captain is very effectively reminding Ed that the greater society, the world, will never see him as a full person, deserving of respect and acknowledgement, no matter what he has or how he carries himself or what he accomplishes. It's foreshadowing how the party will go - to the white world, Ed will always be a novelty at best, a disobedient animal at worst.

Lashing out at that, especially with words, isn't debasing yourself.

And honestly, that guy getting thrown overboard? And skinned? (Though really, it's up in the air as to whether Fang actually bothered with that.) That's a power fantasy for so many of us fans of color, lmao, the idea that god, one of the fucked up assholes out here doing their level to remind us that the world does not see us as full and equal people, gets to suffer and die.

It's not because his feelings were hurt. It's because just like the British officers, this man is reminding Ed and the audience that the structural power of racism is such that you can never win within the system of it, because the system is built to keep us out, keep us down, keep us pinned.

Stede's reaction makes sense, because he's part of that system too - he's been born and raised in it, in the respectability politics, in the genteel illusion that the upperclass way of doing things, where you direct the initial response to the person reacting too loud, too public, showing all that messy, uncouth emotion rather than the person who's actually the problem. You look at the response rather than the source.

And Stede, to his credit, isn't trying to shut Ed up. He's trying, in his own way, to be helpful, actually!

But Stede doesn't know what it's like, to be considered not a person. As a white gay man who everyone has been able to clock as gay his entire life, he's been treated as lesser than and wrong and disgusting his entire life, by his father and his peers, but he's till a rich, land-owning white man. That makes him a person, even if a despised, rejected, undesired one. His society sees him as a person, someone who could even, theoretically, plausibly, be treated with respect if he could just behave according to their rules.

That's not an opportunity you can have, with racism. It's one of the underlying differences in homophobia and racism that I've personally felt, as someone who's experienced both. With homophobia, what you are is wrong but the expectation is that you can, should, and must, act "right", behavior "appropriately" and then you can fit in. At the bottom of the pack, but in. With racism, you're always out. You can't change your race. You can't change what you're identified as on sight. You can't do anything to overcome what you are, and that's why you're treated as and understood to be less than.

And in this time period, that's very much a legal standing, far more overtly than it is in 2022. Black people aren't people, in 1717, they're property or soon to be property or creatures without real intelligence who need to be minded by their betters. Indigenous people aren't people, they're savage animals who need to be minded by their betters, uneducated, uncontrolled.

The response to the British, and the French, and later to those aristocrats, is appropriate in this world, because this is a world that does in fact, cater a bit to that fantasy - what if some people got what they deserved, sometimes? What if it was in fact, the right thing, to fuck up a racist? The internet loves to talk about punching Nazis and TERFs, as they should, but the same goes for a racist too. These guys are reinforcing a corrupt, horrific system of abuse, and they get what they deserve.

I'm sure this won't reach many people. But if you read this post, I hope you think about what racism is, and how it works, and understand that it's not about the individual at all. It's about the system at play and how that system dehumanizes and minimizes and objectifies whole classes of people for the sake of uplifting a single race and making everyone else into objects and novelties and creatures rather than people.

Next time you see someone say Ed "had his feelings hurt" by the French captain, or imply that the British navy were "rude" to Frenchie, Oluwande, and Roach, remind them that they weren't fucking rude, feelings weren't hurt, they were being actively dehumanized in accordance with an overarching system of widespread oppression.

#low on the totem pole #bottom of the pack #ofmd #ofmd meta #fandom fuckery #edward teach #our flag means death #i haven't done a racism 101 style post in ages but certain circumstances have shown me this is necessary lol #at least for me to get my own thoughts out so i dont just roll my eyes into the back of my skull #edited to remove phrase in exchange for because reminded of bad practices with that phrase

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