#id jump out of the car ngl

[gothofgotham]

NYC moments that humbled me

-my card got declined while I tried to buy a burrito

-I cried on the subway next to a gay couple and mother with her small child

-rude bitches on the subway

-fat ass rats running in front of me at night (ngl they’re kinda cute)

-literally anything Eric Adams has ever said I stg

-trying to take the subway and seeing a man with his hands down his boxers

-getting lost in Brooklyn after seeing Pearl at the movies

-my card getting declined at a Walgreens

-moving in/out of my building while trying not to get hit by cars

-a man harassing my dad and I about religious cults outside of the New York public library

-accidentally buying an expensive ass hair clip for my friend

-when I was on a first date with a guy and he jumped the turnstiles at grand central and got caught/ticketed by the NYPD

-hearing drunk people/people tweaking scream bloody murder at 3 am

-living below dance major students who tap dance at 2 am

-my school’s cafeteria food

-losing my id and crying to security

-finding out my grandfather died while my RA was coming in for room checks and I was sobbing

-crying and having meltdowns on the floor or in bed at night quietly

-when I thought I was crying quietly but my roommate heard me through the bathroom walls

-anytime my other roommate kisses her partner at night and it sounds absolutely disgusting like when my dog sucks his toes

-having zero rizz in a city with 8 million people

And so much more

#my thoughts #real life gotham Fr #nyc #college life

[jiksvokrat]

music ask game pt. 2

4, 21 and 24 here, theyre mostly czech bc i am, but do give them a try even if you dont know the language, theyre really good

4 three songs you know thanks to your parents

i mean half of my music taste is my parents, its the car music yk (abba, queen, ...)

but letsgo with these

from my dad

from both this absolute banger that is one of the best songs to sings while drunk (also couldve counted as a movie song ig)

and this band that has like folk songs texts but are a bit more modern in style, i love them so so much, their probably most iconic song

21 three songs of your childhood

first thing that comes to mind is the smurfs vinyl we have at our grandparents place, would play it almost daily whenever we visited

now Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious except also in czech, my sister and i would do an entire performace of te whole musical in the car

and mamma mia by abba bc i could sing this whole song in english before i actually knew any english at all, id just imitate the sounds lol

24 three favourite old songs

i honestly have no perception for what counts as old ngl, but based on vibes

starman by david bowie (shout out bonesandthebees fic inpired by this)

karel gott songs (THE czech singing legend) and my favourite one nápoj lásky č. 10, i couldnt count the times ive been dancing/jumping to this song in the late hours of the night

and the old song that are definitely the oldest bc its a literal folk song

its my culture and i am someone thats very connected to their local culture and tho i dont listen to these song normally, i do sing them a lot and dance

and thats all, thank you so much for asking and giving me the space to ramble icy <33

#asks #icy

[femfalleen]

wanted to post yesterday but i was on absolute 0 social mode lol:

i presented femme! publicly! WOW

uhh so we had board game night again and i knew i was in good company so i decided to go in this rly cute linen skirt that goes to my like lower calf i got and a really like..flowy orange shirt that has like lil shoulder holes and this rly cute tie thing down the neck and i even did some really poor wings and smoky eyes HAH

for the first time ever putting makeup on myself seriously (and like 4th time ever overall in life) it wasn't bad ?? but it left a lot to be desired hahaha

so i got there! and wow! getting ready to get out of the car knowing "okay i am not comfortable with this yet. people look at me and expect 'guy' with 'guy clothes and aire and etc' and i kinda... almost didn't get out of the car (i had my dysphoria hoodie over the top since it was chilly but the skirt and striped thigh highs were completely visible). i realized "oh fuck this door IS that gateway. i step out and ive stepped out of the last comfort zone i have right here." and so i took a breath and kinda weighed my options ngl. "do i just take in these eyes and ignore them? abandon the friends i know who were expecting me and with whom i wanted to play games? i can. right now i could literally drive home. they'd all understand and be both sympathetic and empathetic. "

but. i took my fishing glasses off (they hid my makeup from random people as i drove), but on my big circular rimmed glasses and just... got out of the car. there it was. in the normal world ive been in a million plus times and i felt like id jumped into the artic waters.

i am good at ignoring people usually, especially since we're at a point socially that i can just look at my phone uncaringly and seem like "anyone else" and that helped SO MUCH just walking in.

of course the people i knew didn't care and while they didn't say anything like... reassuring, i also understand based on what i know that they probably either didn't want to like bother my possible anxiety (most of them have surely been through the same so why touch a thorn i might also have, right?) and or they weren't even thinking about it (nearly everyone there has been preferred-presenting since i met them and probably way longer, so it's more than likely just natural to them).

when I first had to go to the restroom, i expected it to be as nerve-wracking as the last game night but it... was only kinda? by this point, i was really settled with the people I'd come to see and having fun and even walking out into the hosting building wasn't that shocking? minding my own business and ignoring any eyes that mightve been on me was easy and i guess maybe one thing that helped me go through "being seen" no matter how much it affected / could've affected me was:

no matter how they saw me, the ones who did possibly look at all, whether as a "guy "in a "woman's" top and skirt with "woman's" makeup or as a very masculine looking girl, or as a trans person, or anything more horrid i won't mention, i kept the confidence as best i could that i SHOULD be able to wear it regardless of how i identify, want to identify, or was currently identifying. sure, i *wanted* to be flagged as "girl girl girl in girls clothing walking by" but also being able to just be seen as like.. "wow that guy is so confident in his skirt and top and his poorly done makeup.." was also kinda...? idk! im also fine with that outcome, albeit less.

all through college i discussed with a very progressive friend about what guys "could and couldn't" wear, constantly finding annoying with hot hot my hairy legs were in pants but too cold and shorts and consistently telling her id love to be able to wear capris or something. and her response for the better half of 3 years was always "so just do it?"

and while that's easier said than done, especially in such a strictly gender-conforming society as someone who didn't really accept that the Weren't Exactly Cis-Gender, it always bothered me i kinda "couldn't."

i wanted to. i would've been happiest in capris. they would've let my legs breathe yet keep them cool. i would've loved to be called pretty showing up in something like this linen skirt, or my cute tops, or whatever. but i "couldn't" for fear of backlash. for fear that someone might call me something i didn't like. or treat me in a way they'd never, or whatever else.

i realize clothing isn't gendered physically but it is socially and unfortunately it's not easy to break through that. especially if it feels like "im the only one doing this i can't make the change myself." but it really is sad.

coming out of the game room to the restroom and then back. and the second time. it was unlike anything. only in the comfort of my private life had i been so comfortably dressed, ever. and yet here i was. socially presentable yet infinitely comfortable in my own body - the smallest bubble i could have. and it was warm and fuzzy.

normally wearing traditionally masc clothes is like... cool. clothing. i am no longer naked and allowed to go in public.

but wearing this outfit was something that really made me feel... idk? i *cared* about how i was gonna look and wanted to look like something and i wanted the body that was in the clothing to kinda go with it and that body was mine! and it was feeling good in the clothing and knowing it looked "like this" was like! wow! that's me! *i* am the one looking like i think looks cool! she's me!

but yeah. what a rush. it was... intense emotionally, to say the least...

#mtf #fendiary #trans #january 2023 #january #210123 #220123 #game night #femme

[flyingcookierambles]

hm

i think i really hate the term messy. like. ok maybe im terminally online or something but like. idk.

as an afab acearo enby who felt alienated/alone in high school by classmates/friends who had their first kisses and first crushes and stuff, and then as an adult who goes to online queer spaces only to see stuff like “REAL queers are MESSY. we have heartbreaks and yearning and sex to make us human and real queers. all the prudes are repressed and confused and stupid and they just need to have sex with someone to be real queer people. no western culture puritan virgins allowed in our community haha cry virgins and get laid or be a gross neckbread cis man/virgin incel in your mom’s basement  >:D” and im like just standing there like. oh. ok. i guess i’m not a “real human being / queer”. (ngl, i would like the “being a man” part to be true, plus thanks to the awful economy i’ll probably live at home with my mom for the rest of my life wow love it!) i’m just. not interested in irl sex/romance stuff, like fanfic and romance books are ok i guess, i think the right term in aegosexual? im too introverted to go to parties or meet strangers on tinder and have like idk a one night stand or something and lose my chance at being a wizard by 30, plus although i do finally have a drivers license and my sister’s old car, im not that comfortable with driving around, so i have no transportation or anything.

still, its frustrating to see “queer” communities just be like. aphobic (or like whatever the word is for against aromantics as well, unless that just gets rolled into the term aphobic?). allo friendly only. they just dont say it out loud. they just say that “real queers are messy and have great sex all the time” (thats my impression at least)

i dont want ppl to sexualize my body bc its gross and im not on hrt or anything so i just look like a cis woman (ugh even writing that term makes me feel gross now) but i know that thats what ppl judge me at first glance as and i dont want it. tbh even if i were allo, i think that id only want to date other nb/trans ppl (the t4t tag) who hopefully wont judge me for my body. like. maybe if i were allo in some alternate universe, i would only date bi/pan or demi-sexual trans ppl who can understand my body issues and judge me more by personality (or, like, for bi/pan people, they likely enjoy all body types. hopefully. not just. “female” bodies. idk. the t4t tag tho, i enjoy it and am glad i learned about it recently, very helpful 10/10)

ugh i guess. just. as an ace person trying to mind my own business, its annoying to get messages from the crazy jesus freaks that i am a “woman” and i must “have sex” and “have kids” and then get messages from the (allos only but this part is silent) queer community that to be “queer” is to have “sex with strangers bc if you only want to do it with ppl you know/are in love with, youre actually just oppressing yourself with western purity culture and you have to unlearn it right now and jump someones pants or else you wont save yourself from your own oppression” and be “messy” and be “not boring/introverted” and “go to parties and have flings” and “fall in love = human and queer and messy and adult” and “use tinder” or something idk (also disregarding the issues of health/STI risk and/or the risk of pregnancy for afab people + shrinking access to birth control/abortion care. no. just go out. having a casual hookup with someone. dont worry about it, just go lose your virginity you boring loser)

like idk. i dont like loud parties like on all those tv shows of “real messy human lives” like euphoria or whatever. im still a virgin so i guess i’m just an immature boring child who cant talk to people, even tho im a boring tax paying 25 year old temp office worker with ~30k of college student debt. even though i am nb/under the trans umbrella, i guess that im not sexual enough for the queer community. i dont like alcohol since its dumb and expensive and doesnt even taste good. i dont do drugs bc i dont even know where to get them. like. idk maybe i can text one of my former college classmates and ask if i can get weed from him or something. (but like i dont even like the smell, its like a skunk. maybe if the smoking kind like joints only smell bad and the edibles like the brownies or cbd infused foods dont smell i’d try it maybe idk?)(does making my dovakhiin in skyrim buy and drink skooma count?)(does watching game of thrones count? lol (until that horrible dumpster fire of a last season, i dont even have the motivation to watch the house of the dragon plus i dont have hbo max or the computer space to torrent rips of the episodes, i think the 8th season of GOT just made me lose faith in any other GOT media/tv spin offs other than the actual books themselves lol))

like. idk. maybe to the “cool, mature, real adult queers” online im just a silly little confused puriteen cis girl whos just too deep in the western puritan culture (bruh i grew up atheist and, for better or worse, spent my high school years on reddit with “Very Cool Atheists” i am not religious in any way) and “we must save her from the christian brainwashing” and im just cosplaying being “queer” or im not queer enough to be one of the cool “Messy (TM) queers” and “once youre out of high school/tiktok/get freedom from your parents house, you’ll learn better and have great hookup culture/drinking parties in college dorms” (....i am out of college...) and “being human is feeling love and having a good cry after a breakup” (ok guess im a heartless loveless freak like a kingdom hearts enemy lmao???) or “get therapy lol” (i cant afford it nor do i have the time. but tbh i probably have undiagnosed depression or anhedonia or blunted emotions or something. is that Cool enough for you? does having undiagnosed depression make me Messy (TM) enough to be in your Cool Queer Clique with Adult Life Experiences like not being able to afford therapy and having mystery mental illnesses?)

ugh. just. frustrating.

ill cry alone later and go on some depression sub or r/offmychest or r/confessions or something and probably complain again later abt this idk im just like. ugh. saw 1 tweet about how the only way to be queer is to be Messy (TM) and im just like. no. no that doesnt make me feel connected to your community at all. maybe i just shouldnt use the label queer if im not a real enough person with enough of the right kind of Messy Life Experiences (TM) to fit in with your clique and then get up at 5:55 am to get ready to go to my second job/retail shift. you know. since im just a puriteen confused sexless/maidenless little girl. not a boring 25 year old afab non-binary virgin who just wants to chill and play video games and maybe not have existential crises over how boring and dull and drab and poor i am to not be able to afford to go to parties or travel the world/ “haha you dumb puritan american, just go to a different country to see others cultures lulz” (i have no money and also paid time off doesnt exist here + you have to put in time off requests like 2 weeks to a month in advance and i dont even have a passport) and try 80 different kinds of alcohol or not have one night stands with total strangers despite also watching law & order: SUV (yes yes i know its copaganda and therefore Bad) and try to not think about how i, a small and kinda flabby/unfit asian american afab, might be hate crime’d and/or murdered in someones apartment or something (like, even i were allosexual, i know that even within the queer community for allo people like lesbians and bi/pan women (whether cis or trans women or generally feminine leaning ppl) have some qualms with cis gay men community’s hookup culture)(like i think that there was some ad or concept for a dating app and one of the features was just a button that sent your match your exact location via gps. and all the comments and qrts were of afab/feminine gender leaning ppl being like “bro why”)(also thinking of that one tweet of a tiktok of a white cis woman putting some strands of hair in her uber’s car and all the comments were just like “terminal true crime brain rot” which like yeah theres issues with true crime and exploitation and also tiktok brainrot is probably definately a thing but like c’mon man can ppl not ridicule marginalized ppl for 5 seconds. yes, that lady in the tiktok was def white and probably wouldve gotten like 800 news stories about her if she were to disappear, but like if the tiktok were of a bipoc person leaving a finger nail clipping or hair in an uber car, would you have still ridiculed that person having “terminally online true crime brainrot” or would you have sympathized with them? why do reasonable worries get made fun of despite the current hostile sentiments towards bipoc/trans people?)

eh. rambles. frustrations. idk. im gonna finish this stupid book of skywind 2 for this bard relic weapon. as a “not real/queer enough” person to be considered “human”. just a boring gamer boy that lives in his/their mom’s house and has no life i guess.

(i feel that i have to clarify again that this are random frustrations i have and i might private or delete this post at some point idk. but like. idk. i dont care what others do in their private times. i just am annoyed when others views on how my private life should be gets pushed on me, whether it be by right wing religious people being like “when are you getting married to a man/having kids” or by the “Cool Messy Adult Queers”/”Real People” club being like “why havent you lost your virginity yet, youre just oppressing yourself and are a heartless loveless freak, you need to have the exact same experiences that we allos have to be considered a Cool Queer Adult with Adult Experiences or else youre just a baby puriteen” (ah the infantilization thanks as if i dont get that enough with me being a young looking asian american under 5 feet tall and being a “girl” (gag))(wait wow wee golly gee the thought just occurred to me, but am i just oppressing myself by making myself sexless? *gasp* im not enough a Good Enough asian american, what with the transracial adoption issues so i dont “act” asian american and cant speak mandarin/cantonese/Leizhou Min since i dont have anyone to teach me as a child, and the only focusing on study in high school/college and not going to parties at all. im just a sexless good student asian american stereotype and my entire existence is an offensive stereotype and i cant call myself asian american enough or queer enough to be considered part of those communities! *GASP* wow thanks (allos only) queer community for teaching me that i am a truly a failure as a living breathing thing. i cant even call myself human since i dont have enough Messy (TM) Human Experiences (TM) and my love/sex life (the only part of life that matters after all, not that probably undiagnosed mental illnesses of depression or imposter syndrome or other gender/racial identity issues) is just me reading a spicy fanfic or playing DOL (if ya know ya know lol) sometimes and is totally virtual, not attracted/interested in Flesh And Blood Real Life Humans who are Cool and Queer at all, i only enjoy cold lifeless passionless boring dull monochrome digital letters on a screen and thats not Cool or Messy or Real (Life) enough to be the right kind of Queer for your exclusive Queer club or label myself as Queer or Human or Adult. (aces can only be boring emotionless robots stereotype intensifies)(imposter syndrome over racial identity issues intensifies)(oh yeah i am still ace/aro but like if i had to pick a micro-label i did kinda learn abt aego recently and i think its just neat so yoink lol))

so. maybe i shouldnt call myself queer. idk.

Thought that we left this aphobic/let's make fun of any one whether they are a legit minor too young to go party/drink/do recreational drugs or whether they are an adult with financial issues or trapped in a rural/conservative area with no other irl queer friends who can't afford to go to the cool hip queer sex bar/night club like thousands of miles away in the city (ageism/classism/ and metronormativity all in one?/reverse virgin shaming weirdness/ Trauma(TM) fetishization (*insert that sexy depression girl in bed meme pic*) bs back in like 2013 -15 tumblr or whatever. but I guess I was wrong.

(Also shout out to the time when I got a papercut real bad in my college dorm when I was doing homework and my colleges stupid health center/school nurse closed at an early time of night and all they have in the waiting room was a bowl of free condoms but no free bandaid or period care like free pads or tampons iirc. You know. Reasonable stuff that everyone could use not just allos. Had to spy into the hallway of the office and saw a light on in a back office. Banged on the door and was playing loud music from my phone for a guy to come out. Turns out like admin or accounting for the school shared the space with the hallway/office the school nurse was in. Asked the guy if I could have a simple bandage and he said no. Too much health insurance documentation legal stuff to say that one bandage was missing for one single student with a papercut at 8 pm. Had to walk in the dark to CVS to buy my own box of bandaid. While it was a "safe college" neighborhood thankfully nothing happened, it was not a fun time for me as a short and physically weak person waking around alone at night. Still salty over that. So stupid. My college was so weird and dumb sometimes)

Edit: oh yeah remembered that in addition to being aego aro I am also touch adverse. Sure can't wait for the Cool Adults to just ridicule me as a loser lonely repressed virgin brainwashed by the western purity culture robot forever and tell me to just go touch grass or get therapy or something unhelpful and stupid.)

edit edit: its been abt 10 hours now my temper is a bit cooled down. so like to reiterate, i think that i do agree with some of the sentiment in the original original post about queer media being more than just pg fluff and stuff and queer stories can be 18+ and whatever, its just that this one guy’s reply was just. mask off. exclusionary. aces are not queer, aces are straight people. just. uuugh. anyways. a qrt by an ace person and then a thread/conversation with the aphobe who thinks that ace doesnt belong in queer. i think ill block this guy. seriously i thought that we left this ace exclusion in 2015 but i guess not.

editiedit a few more days later even more now that my head is cooled down from the rage mood i was in when i typed this earlier: yes. i agree with this that being sex neutral should be the way. like i said rambling incoherently earlier, i dont like the actual bad slut shaming puritan stuff of conservatives, but again, i dont like the virgin/”youre just a puritan!” shaming that excludes sex repulsed aces, people who have trauma or whatever about sex that prevents them from having sex, disabled people who physically for whatever reason cant have sex, etc., that comes from the mEsSy QuEeR (extroverted party-going allos only put this part is silent) community. putting sex on a pedestal or glorifying it, as one reblog tag on that post says, should not be the answer to slut shaming. its just a thing that some people do and some people don’t. like deciding to eat pizza or not. its a personal choice and i dont agree with shaming people for doing it or peer pressuring people into doing it before they’re ready. i also saw a screenshot of the “sex repulsed aces = puritans. all my ace friends would hand out water bottles at the orgy.” that everyones talking about and like. nooo??? again, this is the virgin shaming/sex repulsed aces/people with disabilities/trauma exclusion that im talking about from the toxic positivity/sex positive group. if people dont want to go to the orgy and hand out water bottles, they just dont want to go to the orgy to hand out water bottles. it does not equal being a “pUrItAn.” (also, do not invite me to hand out water bottles at the orgy, as an introvert and also a person who doesnt want to get covid19, i just dont like parties or large groups of any kind, the only exception being anime conventions with strict vaccine and mask rules.)

editeditedit: also yes

#rant lol #aphobia

[sery-chan-13]

Drives With Them

Alice In Borderland

Only doing Chishiya and Niragi because they're the only two who have access to cars hahahahahaha-

This song makes my brain go 'brr'

Chishiya

Warnings: Swearing, arguing

- He hates driving

- Learns it's the only way he can get alone time

- With you

- Can talk about stuff with you, and there's no one else to interrupt

-  He usually asks you by spinning the keys around on his finger and saying "Wanna go?"

- He drives pretty nice, honestly

- Hasn't crashed, doesn't make you pray for your life before you get into a car with him.

- Enjoys taking the longest way possible home

- Gives zero fucks if a group need the car for the games

- Usually ends the drive somewhere scenic to watch the sunset or if it's raining, he just parks the car and talks to you

"Wanna go?" Chishiya asked, spinning the keys on his finger, interrupting the conversation you were having with Arisu. "Sure! Sorry Arisu-Kun, gotta go," you said, excusing yourself from the conversation. "No problem. Have fun," Arisu smiled, leaving. You chased after Chishiya, grabbing his hand. He pulled it away and you scoffed. "Jerk," you muttered. "You know who is watching," he whispered back, nodding to Hatter. "And?" You asked as you left the building, heading over to the cars. "He could use it against us. I don't want you in danger because of me," he said, opening the door on the passenger side for you. "What a gentleman," you said rolling your eyes, getting in the car. He shut the door after you, getting in himself on the drivers side.

    "I'm sorry," he said into the quiet atmosphere after you two had been driving around the empty streets of Tokyo for a couple minutes. You only huffed, looking out your window. "I'm get that you don't want to make our relationship out there and shit, but I... I have feelings too Chishiya. I want to be able to hold your hand around the Beach, or just show you love in front of other people," you answered, he kept his eyes on the road, listening to your words. "I can understand that. But... you have to understand that I don't want you getting caught in the middle because you're with me," he said after a few seconds. You felt bad about being mad at him, especially when you knew he had good intentions. "I know... I'm sorry Chishiya," you apologized, looking at him. "It's ok. It's upsetting, I get it," he said, slowing down a bit as you got closer to the inner city.

"Sucks there's no radio," you said, holding his left hand on the glove compartment as you two drove around, the argument you had earlier having been talked through. "It's better, in my opinion. We can talk," he said. The sun was setting, the sky painted in an array of pastels, golden sunlight fading from view. You smiled at his response. "You know, when I first met you, I thought you were going to be a bitchy, antisocial, I hate people kind of guy, who would've pushed me off the roof for talking to him, but I'm glad only half of that is true," you giggled. "Oh? Which half is true?" He asked, as you noticed the car slowing down. "The 'I hate people' part. You just have no empathy towards them," you said, leaning on his shoulder. The car had stopped on a bluff that overlooked the ocean. Chishiya got out of the car, telling you to do the same. He climbed up on the hood of the car, making his way to the roof of it. You did the same, sitting besides him. You stared out into the ocean, watching the sunset as he sat besides you. "Beautiful..." he whispered. You looked at him. "It is," you said. "I'm not talking about the sunset. I'm talking about you you know," he said, cupping your face in his hands. You blushed, looking to the side. "I thought you said no PDA?" You asked, looking back at him. "I think... I think I'm willing to protect you if worse comes to worse. Hold my hand around the Beach. Kiss me around the Beach. Do what you want," he said, resting his forehead on yours. You smiled. "If they use us against eachother?" You asked. "If we go down, then we go down together," he said.  You laughed, kissing his lips quickly. You kept doing that before he said, "If you're going to kiss me, kiss me." Before kissing you passionately.

Niragi

Warning: Mentions abuse, bullying, swearing, weapons

- I'd personally pray to the gods before I get in a car with him

- Honestly pretty fun

- He goes fast, reckless, but somehow hasn't crashed

- He loves driving with you because it makes you both forget everything

- Asks you by going "Im going for a drive. You coming with me doll?"

- Late night drives after games that were especially hard on either one of you

- You had CDS and got the radio to work somehow. (Yes he helped)

- I feel like he's a car guy for some reason?

- Like, he knows his way around cars. But would rather drive them

- You know those cars that don't have a roof? It's just open? Yeah, those are his favorite.

- Ends drives with driving around slowly while you two talk about anything and everything

You sat anxiously awaiting the arrival of Niragi's group for the games. Your leg bounced up and down, scanning the groups that walked in. You swallowed thickly, trying to rid your head of the dark thoughts. You two hadn't been put in the same group for tonight, as the militals all got split up.

    You heard a couple girls whispering and laughing. You glanced at them out of the corner of your eye, and listened in to what the were saying. "She's so heartless when others loose people, but there she is anxiously awaiting her boyfriend's return," one of them laughed. "I hope Niragi dies so she can feel how others feel," the other responded with a giggle. You growled, grabbing your riffle, walking towards both of them. "Oi, if I were both of you I'd stop talking," you threatened, pointing your gun at them. They tensed up. "W-we didn't do anything!" One of them stuttered. "I fucking heard you. Bitch, I'm not deaf, you want me to feel pain as if I haven't before," you said darkly, glaring at them. "I lost my best friend when I first came into the games, I don't have family here, he's all I have left. You two think I haven't felt the pain of losing someone important to me because you don't know me, so shut the hell up," you said angrily, putting the barrel of your gun facing towards the floor. You gathered yourself again, walking back to where you were sitting. "I still hope he dies though... he's such a dick, I don't know why she stays with him," you hear one of them say. "Okay, that's it," you shouted, turning back to them. "You think I won't fucking shoot either one of you?! I'm not fucking scared to do so! And if Niragi doesn't come back then I'll just kill one of your boy toys and see how you like it! He's not... he's not a bad person. So shut up about people you don't know!" You yelled, getting angrier by the minute. "Well I bet he's already dead anyways! It's what both of you deserve for using so many of us as pawns in the games! You need to feel pain, and he deserves to die!" The other girl yelled. "He's not dead! He doesn't deserve to die!" You shouted back. You took your gun, firing a shot in between both girls. "That's a fucking warning shot, next time, the warning shot goes through your damn skull," you threatened, walking out of the hotel lobby, out to where the game players come back. You sat on the sidewalk, watching cars coming back, none containing your boyfriend. You saw Chishiya, and ran up to him. "I'm going to seem pathetic asking, but have you seen Niragi?" You asked, him swallowing back the tears of worry. Chishiya noted this want a time to joke about him being dead. He was a dick sometimes, but he also knew when it was enough. "No, I haven't. His game was on the other side of the city though. Maybe it was a longer game?" Chishiya answered. A soft 'oh' left your lips, and you nodded, thanking him. You went to a corner, sitting down facing the entrance. You brought your knees up to your face. "Please be ok... please... I need you here," you whimpered.

About an hour later, you heard the engine of a car come into the beach. You looked around, counting how many cars were already there. Only one was missing, which meant this car was the last one. You ran over quickly.

   To your relief, you saw Niragi standing by the car, talking to Aguni about something. You ran to him, hugging him as soon as you got there. "Woah, hey there princess," he said, hugging you back. "You stupid jerk, I thought you died!" You cried into him. You weren't one for crying, but it had been a night. Aguni looked at you strangely as he had never seen you cry. Aguni excused himself, giving you time to be alone. Niragi looked down at you, feeling a tinge of guilt. "I- I thought i-i was- I was gonna b-be alone again!" You cried, snuggling your face into his chest. "Never. You'll never be alone again, ok? I'm not going to let some measly game take me out," he said, giving you a kiss to the top of your head. "Im going for a drive. You coming with me doll?" He asked, holding the keys in his hands. You nodded, drying your tears.

The drive wasn't like most others that started fast and reckless. It was slow. The kinds of drives you two had on the late nights. "What game did you have tonight?" You asked, trying to break the silence. "It was weird. A 5 of  hearts. To win we had to kill the past in a way," he said, looking out. "That doesn't sound like a normal hearts game," you observed. "That's what I thought. Games of betrayal. The rules were simple. If you failed to kill the past, you failed. You had to say what part of your past you were killing too, or else you died... There were items all around the building, each from different people's past. There were films of people's memories, toys, pictures, audios, books, glasses... If everyone didn't manage to kill their past, the buildings boiler would explode," he explained. "What we're your items?" You asked, looking at him. "Glasses, notes, there was a video, a baseball, a pack of cigars and an empty beer bottle," he said. You pieced together the items. "The glasses you wore in highschool, the baseball that broke your nose more times than you can count, the notes kids used to pass you in class that said horrible things on them, the cigars your father burned you with, and the bottle you used to silence your sorrows," you said. ''Clever girl," he chuckled. "Your game?" He asked. "4 of spades. We had to diffuse a bomb in the that was at the top of this building, the elevator was out, and there was 20 flights of stairs. Oh, and a shooter. God was it fun shooting that motherfucker after he pulled my hair," you aaid. Niragi laughed slightly. The cool night breeze passed by you, and you closed your eyes. "When we go back to the old world, we should do this," you muttered, reaching for his hand. He grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours on the glove compartment. "I agree."

    He had stopped the car on a bridge, although there was no water under, just gravel. "I used to come to this place, look down, and think it would be a quiet place. So I started going there after school, hiding. Until they found it. Then you found me there. I don't know why you talked to me in high school anyways," he said, looking over the railing, down to the gravel covered ground. "Because I knew you didn't deserve what people said or did to you. And I also thought it was a nice quiet place," you said as he put an arm around your waist. "What did you run away from? Something or someone in your past that scared you?" He asked. "My family, my feelings. The monsters that lived in my head," you said, leaning your head on his shoulder. "I really love you, you know?" He asked, looking up at the stars. "I know. I love you too. Love you more than there's stars in the sky," you responded.

I'm brain rot, helpppp-

Also, this is just like if you are in an established relationship with them. I feel like they open up a bit more to you, so that's why they might be OOC.

#niragi #chishiya #scenario #fluff? #mostlyfluff #some angst #id jump out of the car ngl #Alexa play daddy issues by the neighborhood- #Spotify

[wittystarkk]

The Last Five Years || Part Four || Bucky Barnes

author: wittystarkk

word count: 4k+

relationship: James “Bucky” Barnes/Reader

warning: smoking?? i guess

A/N: this isn’t my favorite chapter. ngl. but. it’s still a chapter. and it isn’t bad. enjoy! (-: Feedback is greatly appreciated! (the gif is long but so cute!)

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

“Fuck!” Someone shouted from the side of the stage, kicking a metal trash can hard with the point of their shoe. Bucky snapped his head up from his script, turning to face the source of the noise. He pressed his palm flat against his thigh, pushing down in order to force his upper body straight up. His knees cracked a little when they weren’t bent.

“Everything okay?” He asked the girl who had kicked the trash can, watching her pace back and forth between the curtains of the side of the stage. She looked visibly agitated and he wanted to divide himself from her. The rest of the people in the play looked unconcerned with everything going on outside of themselves. He sighed, realizing that he was going to have to handle her himself. He crossed the stage to stand before her, folding his arms over his chest. 

The girl gave him a furious glare and Bucky held his hands up in surrender, deciding any attempts to speak to her were going to prove futile. “Right,” he nodded. “I’ll just leave you to it.” He spun on his heels, quickly marching away from the girl. He noticed the director near the front of the stage, talking with his understudy. “Hey, Jim,” he called, halting his steps on the path. “Our uh, our lead actress is having a minor meltdown. Looks like rehearsals are halted,” he snickered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 

Jim groaned, throwing his hands up into the air. “What’s the problem now?” The director wondered, one hand going to his waist, the other rubbing at his forehead. “Everyone! Lunch!” The director shouted, walking off to comfort the now wailing actress. Bucky glanced at his understudy who gave him a shrug. Neither knew what was going to happen, or if the rehearsal would continue today. He decided he didn’t care. If the rest of the day got cancelled he could go home, call (Y/N), and hopefully have her over for dinner. He smiled unconsciously at the thought. 

“I’m going outside,” he called to his understudy, needing someone to know where he was in case someone needed him. The understudy nodded, his attention quickly getting pulled away from Bucky by one of the actresses that played a minor role tugging on his sleeve. Bucky exited the stage, winding through the back area until he found the exit door. Throwing it open he had to squint in the sunlight. “Jesus,” he grumbled, heading for a shaded area between the backlot of the theater and the other building.

He dug around in his pocket, trying to find his packet of cigarettes and lighter. His fingers slipped over the plastic of his lighter and he withdrew it from his pocket followed by his cigarettes. As he was pulling one out to slip between his lips, his phone began humming against his skin. He rolled his eyes, fishing his phone out of his pocket, automatically sliding his finger on the answer button without giving a look to the caller ID. “Hello?” 

A soft feminine voice on the other end greeted him, “hello! I’m looking for a James Barnes. Is he available?”

“Yeah, hi. This is James, but please, call me Bucky.”

“Hello, Bucky!” The voice sounded more cheerful than when the phone was first answered. “My name is Elizabeth Whitfield. I was going through some of the audition tapes that had passed through my door today and was entirely captured by yours.”

Bucky’s eyes widened in shock, the unlit cigarette between his fingers falling to the ground. “You-you saw my audition tape? For what? I mean - I should say how?” 

He heard Elizabeth make an amused noise, “a man named Jim Adler. He’s a friend of a friend and he passed it along. Like I said, I had just gotten around to watching some of the tapes and I’m calling because I really liked yours.”

He could barely control his excited breathing as he listened to her speak. His pulse was pounding in his neck. “Right, of course Mr. Adler sent it in. That’s - that’s great. I - I - thank you for watching it.”

“Of course,” Elizabeth laughed. “Now let me get a few things correct, make sure we have the right information about you. You’ve never booked a professional gig before, correct?”

Bucky nodded his head, “yeah-yes. Is that a problem?”

Elizabeth sighed, “no, of course not. And you didn’t go to any kind of school did you? Adler included in his note about you that you were some sort of ‘natural talent’.”

He laughed, “he said that? I mean, no I didn’t go to school. I mean. I did a little bit of theater in high school if that counts?”

“Sure,” Elizabeth’s voice sounded like she was amused with him. “Listen, Bucky. I’m casting someone for a role in a movie and I was wondering if you could make it in for a meeting? A sort of audition?”

“Yes, yeah! Of course. Where, where do you need me to meet you?”

“Well, I would need you to make it to New York-”

Bucky cut her off, “oh! I live here, that’s no problem.”

Elizabeth didn’t sound disturbed by his interruption, simply continuing on in her cheerful voice. “Wonderful! Well could you manage to come in today, sometime before say, five o’clock? Do you know where the Flatiron building is? On 5th?” 

Bucky’s eyes felt like they managed to get even wider than possible, his breathing nearly completely spiratic with excitement and nerves. “Yes, yes! Of course I do. I will uh, I’ll get there. I will be there!”

“Wonderful, just ask for me when you reach the front desk.”

“Great, okay. I will, thank you. I am so - so looking forward to meeting you, Ms. Whitfield.” 

On the other end of the line, she laughed, “please, call me Elizabeth.”

“Okay, Elizabeth,” Bucky laughed, shaking his head, his hand so tight on his phone it was practically shaking. “It’s kind of like we’re friends,” he acknowledged, laughing a little, feeling embarrassed the moment the words left his mouth. 

“I look forward to meeting you, Bucky. I’ll see you soon.” 

“Okay, great. Great, I’ll see you soon too. Goodbye Ms. Whi - Elizabeth.” 

The line went dead and he pulled the phone from his ear, staring at it in utter shock. “What?” He asked his phone through a choked laugh. He looked around the empty back lot for someone, anyone, convinced he was being pranked. That he hadn’t just gotten called for an interview, audition, whatever it was. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to breathe, trying to gather his thoughts. Trying desperately to wrap his head around the fact that, he finally was getting his shot. Someone somewhere was acknowledging him past the small theaters where he would perform stupid plays he didn’t care for. 

He dragged his hand down his face, a smile never leaving his lips. He wanted to rush into the theater and grab Mr. Adler by his face, shake the man and thank him a hundred times for even bothering to send someone his tape. His stupidly made, poorly edited tape wherein he showed his acting chops. He laughed a little, jumping off the stoop he was stood on, shaking his fists around in the air, his nerves and happiness obvious in the way he moved.

He had been getting more parts in plays, sure. But he never anticipated that he would make it to the point where someone called him. That suddenly he would be starring in some stupid run-of-the-mill production and he’d be receiving a request to come meet with someone for a real movie. He was floored, completely and utterly flabbergasted as he pulled another smoke from his pack, managing to light this one as his mind began racing. 

He was already feeling like things were too good. That he was already too lucky in his life. He had enough money from working for this play that he was able to finally get his old car up and running. Hell, even working to a point where he didn’t have to struggle to get it to start every day. Bucky smoked his cigarette languidly as he thought of everything that was shaping up for him, and his body felt full and overwhelmed. 

He dropped the cigarette butt to the floor and stomped on it, needing to get his things and leave before he started freaking out during rehearsal. He wiped his hands on his pants, jogging back into the theater. “Jim,” he called, walking to the side of the stage where he had last seen him. “Jim!” He shouted, looking around for him. 

“Stop shouting,” Jim groaned, standing up from the chair he had made himself comfortable in. “What’s going on, Bucky? What do you need?”

Bucky’s smile was so big and bright it completely caught Jim off guard, causing him to take a step back. “You -” he laughed, shaking his head. “You - you gave someone that tape I gave you?”

Jim rubbed the back of his neck, looking bashful. “Look, Bucky. It was nothing, and you don’t have to say anything about it. Okay?”

Bucky shook his head, “not say anything? Are you kidding me? I just - I just got a call from someone at the studio. A Ms. Witfield… She wants me to come in today for an audition. I can’t believe it!” Bucky grabbed Jim in a hug, squeezing him tight. 

“Well,” Jim laughed, pushing Bucky away from him. “What the hell are you doing here? Go home, get changed. Get yourself put together for your audition.”

Bucky nodded, like the words Jim had just spoken to him were the greatest thing ever said. “Right!” He laughed, turning away from him. “Thank you, Jim!” He called over his shoulder as he jogged for the theaters exit. Jim watched him with amusement, shaking his head in disbelief at the boy. 

“Hey kid!” Jim called to him. “Don’t fuck it up!” 

Bucky stopped jogging when he was back outside in the sun. He scrolled through his contacts on his phone for a moment, finding (Y/N)’s number. He smiled as he pressed the call button, returning his phone to his ear. 

(Y/N) answered the phone on the third ringing sounding caught off guard, “Bucky?”

He couldn’t help but give a soft, affectionate smile when he heard her voice. “Hey, baby.” His own voice was warm and loving, “I’ve been thinking about what you said, and… Let’s move in together.” He bit on the knuckle of his index finger when he finished his sentence, smiling against the skin. 

He heard (Y/N)’s bewildered laugh and hoped that he wasn’t too late. That she hadn’t changed her mind and decided to rescind her suggestion or offer, or whatever it had been. His teeth sunk deeper into his knuckle, verging on painful. “Okay,” she finally said after letting him sweat it for long enough. “Okay! Yes, let’s do it. God, really though? Are you serious?”

He withdrew his knuckle from between his teeth, smiling like a fool again. He wished his face wouldn’t look so gleeful, but he didn’t know how to stop it. Didn’t know how to tamper down the sheer elation that was pumping through his veins with the beat of his heart. “Yes, I’m serious. Just, find us an apartment, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too, but, Bucky… Bucky, wait! What happened?”

He laughed, “I’ll tell you later. I gotta go, baby. I love you!” Bucky hung up, not waiting for her response, pushing his phone into his pocket the moment the line went dead. He took in a breath deep enough to make his head feel a little light. His feet moved quickly underneath him, propelling him to his car. When he got in he let out a yell, smiling bigger than he thought his face would allow. He was in utter disbelief of his life as his car roared to life.

“Who the hell are you?” He asked, pulling out of his parking spot to head out onto the street, joining the slow moving traffic that was pushing along. He had a woman he loved, and who loved him in return. A job that he didn’t mind, and an audition for something bigger, something better. Bucky laughed, shaking his head as he rolled the window down, sticking his arm out to rest on the edge. “I’ve got a feeling that things are moving too fast,” he told himself. “But God do I want it to keep on rolling.” 

--

Bucky wiped his sweating palms on the denim of his best jeans, trying to calm himself down as he waited for the elevator to take him up to the floor he needed. His mind was swirling in circles, nothing makes sense. Air felt like it was alluding his lungs every time he tried inhaling. He was sure he was on the verge of having a panic attack. 

The doors of the elevator opened and he held his breath, mustering up the courage to step off of it. The lobby of the floor he’d arrived at already felt too gaudy for him. Too rich and successful. A schmuck kid from Indiana didn’t belong being auditioned in a place like this. A place that put out esteemed movies, movies that he should only ever dream of becoming a part of. The last time he’d been here, for the initial audition, he hadn’t made it past the first floor. Had only met Elizabeth and been lead to a boring white room that looked almost clinical. He dreaded finding out what was in store for him now that he’d actually been invited up to her office. 

The woman at the desk looked bored, like she would rather be anywhere else but where she was currently. She rolled his eyes when Bucky stopped before her, looking up at him with an expression that made him want to retreat within his own skin. “Can I help you?” She asked, more condescending than he figured she should be. 

“Uh, yes, hi…” He cleared his throat, desperately trying to remember his own name, let alone the name of the woman he was meant to be meeting. “I’m here to see - to see Elizabeth Whitfield.” 

A man who had been lounging against the desk with his back to Bucky immediately turned around, looking like he’d been caught with his fly down. “Are you Bucky Barnes?” The man asked, looking Bucky over with an appraising eye. 

“Yes, I am.” 

The man’s smile was full and bright, he looked like he would be really good at selling shoes. A thought Bucky was surprised to have. “Oh, wonderful! Follow me, Mr. Barnes. Elizabeth is so excited to see you,” the man took off to the left and Bucky immediately followed in his stride, eyes darting around the offices. If someone were to hook a monitor up to his chest at that very moment, he would read on the verge of having a massive heart attack. 

The man stopped abruptly and Bucky looked into an office with a wall made of windows on one side, and the wall with the entry door made of glass. He couldn’t imagine the salary of the woman who had stood from her chair the moment she saw them approach. The man pushed the door open, unable to introduce Bucky, the woman beating him to it. “Bucky,” she exclaimed, holding her hand out for him to shake. He returned her enthusiastic smile, shaking her hand adamantly. “It’s so wonderful to see you again, please come in.” 

Bucky walked into her office and the man who had led him to it shut the door behind them, walking away from the office without so much as a goodbye. “Wow,” he breathed out heavily. He rubbed his hands against his thighs, noticing that they had gotten sweaty again. “This office is incredible,” he acknowledged, looking over at the view her office had.

“Thank you,” Elizabeth glanced out the window before sighing a bit. “Would you like something to drink? Water, coffee, tea?”

Bucky shook his head, “no, thank you.”

She gave him a smile, walking around her desk to sit behind it, crossing her legs at the knees. “So!” She clapped her hands together before leaning forward, resting her arms on the desk. Bucky followed her lead, taking a seat in one of the two chairs across from her, holding his hands together tightly in his lap. It took everything he had to keep his knee from bouncing with anxiety. “The director and producers loved your audition. And, well,” The smile spread across her lips was verging on creepy in it’s happiness. Bucky swallowed thickly, watching her carefully. 

“Well, Bucky… We want to formally offer you the part.” 

Bucky leaned back in his chair, the air from his lungs rushing out in a disbelieving huff. He was definitely going to have a heart attack. “What?” He asked after a moment of processing. His voice sounded like a mix of a laugh and groan. “Are you - are you serious? Elizabeth, you want to give me the part?” 

She nodded, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. Bucky ran his hand through his hair, letting out a laugh. “Jesus Christ,” he whispered to himself. “Elizabeth, this is incredible. I mean - Thank you. Thank you, wow.” He shook his head. His brain had utterly stopped working. Any thought halted immediately, any hope he had to sound like a well spoken and coherent member of society thrown out the door the moment she said he’d gotten the part. His heartbeat was pounding in his ears.

Elizabeth pulled a packet of papers from a drawer in her desk while she allowed Bucky to have a moment to freak out, finding a pen that worked from the mess that was a drawer she never wanted anyone to venture into. “If you’re willing to accept the role,” she pushed the papers across the surface of the desk so that they were closer to him. “You’re going to need to fill out this mountain of paperwork. By the time you’re done your signature won’t even look real to you,” she joked, setting the pen down on top of the papers. Bucky reached out and picked it up immediately, not wanting to give himself a second to think it was a dream. 

“Once everything has been filed and processed and we make sure all of our I’s are dotted and our T’s are crossed, I’ll call you again to set you up for a meeting with the director.” Elizabeth explained, leaning back against her chair, crossing her arms over her stomach. “You should get the script in the mail sometime this week. It’ll be brought by courier though, so please make sure that you have someone there to sign for it.” 

“I uh, I’m actually in the process of moving right now. Do you - is there any way that I could come by to pick it up?” 

Elizabeth shrugged, “sure. I’ll make a note of that right now and call you when it’s here.” She leaned forward and moved the mouse to her computer, clicking on a few things before rapidly typing on her keyboard. Bucky wondered how she got to be such a fast typer, figuring that it came with the job. 

“I really, I can’t thank you enough,” Bucky started thumbing through the paperwork, eyes skimming over their contents as he signed. “This is honestly going to change my life, and you have no idea how bad I have wanted this. God, thank you, Elizabeth.”

He didn’t look up when she snorted a laugh, “don’t thank me, Bucky.” Elizabeth uncrossed her legs and crossed them again, changing the knee that was on top. “You got yourself the job kid, I just invited you.” 

Bucky smiled despite being distracted by trying to remember his social security number for the paperwork. “You’re wonderful,” he mumbled, sticking his tongue between his teeth to bite on while he concentrated. He had never had to fill out so much information about himself in his life. 

When the packet of paperwork was complete Bucky was convinced he’d developed arthritis. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, though he still managed to make himself feel terrible for feeling like he’d taken too long. Elizabeth took the pen back from him and dropped it into the drawer to be lost again, accepting the paperwork when he pushed it towards her. Elizabeth smiled happily at him, “thank you for getting all of this done for me, Bucky.”

“No, please. Thank you for giving me a job,” Bucky laughed. Elizabeth stood from her chair, Bucky dutifully copying her. She held her hand out to him, giving him a million dollar smile. The two shook hands. 

“Congratulations, Bucky. I look forward to seeing you on the big screen,” Elizabeth winked at him, and Bucky felt a twist in his stomach. The big screen, Bucky repeated to himself within his head, swallowing hard. He couldn’t believe it was official. He was going to be a real actor. 

-

Bucky took the stairs to the second floor two at a time, hand fisted around an envelope. “Babe!” He shouted, clumsily tripping over a box that had been placed beside the staircase. “Fuck,” he grunted, regaining his footing. He took a second to check he hadn’t twisted his ankle before dodging a mover who was coming out of the open door to his new apartment, beaming a smile when he saw (Y/N) standing at the fireplace, trying to clean the mirror above it. “Babe!” He shouted again making her jump in fright. 

(Y/N) turned around, hand on her chest. “You scared the shit out of me,” she laughed, hurrying over to wrap her arms around him in a hug, kissing him softly. “God I didn’t think you’d ever get home you jerk.” She let go of him, noticing the envelope. “What’s that?” She asked, pointing at it. 

Bucky smiled, holding the envelope to his chest. “Well, maybe I won’t tell you, keep you in suspense.” 

(Y/N) laughed, trying to pull the envelope from him. “Bucky!” She whined, laughing in exasperation. Bucky tapped his lips, winking at her when she finally caught on. She leaned up and gave him another kiss. He smiled, letting the envelope go. 

“You are holding my very first paycheck from the movie, babe.” 

(Y/N) pulled the check out of the envelope, her jaw dropping in shock. “Bucky!” She shouted, looking at the amount before looking up at him. “You’re fucking me, right?” She asked, holding the check up.

Bucky laughed, “well not right now. But probably later tonight.” He winked, receiving a smack to the chest for his joke. “Looks like we’re gonna be able to afford this apartment baby.” 

(Y/N) shrieked a laugh, wrapping her arms around his neck, peppering his face with kisses. “Baby, I’m so proud of you.” She whispered against his cheek, knotting her fingers in his hair. “I am so, so proud of you,” she repeated, moving to press her forehead against his. “You’re doing it, baby. You’re making it.”

Bucky held his arms around her tightly, pressing their bodies tighter than should be possible. “I love you,” was all he could manage to say.

~~

If you’d like to be tagged, please let me know!

@petlaufeyson​, @lovely-geek​

#sam writes #sams post #sam posts #bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns fan fic #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan fan fic #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan one shot #sebastian stan fiction #sebastian stan fanfiction

[marvellous-fangirl]

Undercover

You and Steve go undercover on a mission, but it gets compromised

Oneshot

Word Count: 2,760

Pairings: Steve x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, UncomfortableWithRomanticEmotions!Steve

A/N: This has to be one of my favourites ngl

Y/N collapsed into a chair in the briefing room, yawning. “So remind me why we’re up at 6am?” She stretched. “We’ve located a major Hydra scientist.” Began Fury. “He has highest level clearance in their facilities and we need to capture him to find out what he knows, but also to allow us to infiltrate the base.” Heads nodded. “But surely the areas that require highest level clearance will have high security measures?” asked Steve. “There are retinal scans, voice recognition, and three different guard stations to verify ID.” Replied Fury. “How are we going to infiltrate the base when none of us look like him?” added Natasha. “We’ll use his pass to forge a new one. We’ll also hack into the Hydra systems to add retinal and vocal data. Parker, I understand your friend is good with computers.” Peter’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “Mr Fury can I call him now?” Fury smirked slightly. “Sure kid.” Peter pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Ned’s number. “Hey Ned is anyone else there?” Y/N could hear the distant voice resonating from the phone. “No why? Peter is everything ok?” Ned hissed in the distance. “The Avengers want the Guy in the Chair!” Peter grinned. Y/N heard distant muffled screaming. “So I’ll take it he agreed.” Fury chuckled and Peter blushed slightly but returned the smile as he nodded. “Excellent. Now, the only way we can capture the scientist without Hydra being notified is to befriend him and lure him to a seemingly innocent event. Whoever goes undercover must have no contact with us and must be able to be perceived as a friend.” “Y/N should be a part of it.” Tony said and others nodded. “Ideally those who go undercover would be a feasible couple.” Fury added. All eyes turned to Steve, who turned slightly pink. “Sure I’ll do it.”

Y/N was packing her bags when Steve knocked on her door. Y/N looked up, hair flicking out of her eyes. “Hey Steve.” She smiled. “Hey Y/N.” He said, leaning against the doorframe, arms folded. “I uh just wanted to check you’re alright with the whole uh couple thing.” Y/N laughed slightly. “Of course I am!” Steve smiled with relief at her words. “Okay.” “So what kind of couple are we anyway? Moving into our first apartment? Fiancés? Married?” She grinned, adding a wink to the last possibility. Steve flushed again and Y/N straightened up. “Are you sure you’re alright with this Steve?” “Huh? Oh yeah yeah I am.” He smiled. “How about we’re just getting our first apartment? Then we’re taking it slow.” Y/N smiled. “That sounds great.” Grinned Steve. 

Y/N pulled on her hoodie and slipped a ring onto her finger. She grabbed a box of her things and pulled her suitcase behind her. Y/N saw Steve and couldn’t help but to laugh. “What is it with you guys with wearing baseball hats under hoodies with sunglasses when you’re supposed to be blending in?” She cackled. Steve looked mildly offended. “I want to hide my face!” He said, hurt. “People are more likely to look at your face if you’re wearing ridiculous clothes like that.” Y/N giggled and Steve frowned. “Oh come on at least take the sunglasses off.” She grinned, nudging him playfully. He smiled and rolled his eyes as his slid the sunglasses into his pocket. Fury stepped forward, ready to meet them. “Rogers, Y/L/N.” He nodded. “We have provided you with furniture to make the move in more realistic. There is also a car which you will drive to the location. The scientist lives on the same floor as you just down the hall. You’ll know who he is. Good Luck. You have a year. I hope it won’t have to last that long but you must do whatever is required.” The pair nodded. “Can we say goodbye to everyone before we go?” Y/N asked and Fury chuckled. “Of course. I’m not a monster.” 

Y/N stepped out of the car with her box and slipped her hand into Steve’s who pulled a large suitcase behind him with ease. Steve smiled down at Y/N as they walked up to their new apartment together and Y/N tried not to grin. As they unlocked the door and stepped inside, Steve pulled his hand out of Y/N’s a little too quickly as he stepped over to the new furniture provided by Fury and he went through to the bedroom. “We’re sharing a bed.” Steve said, coming back to the main room and sitting on the sofa next to Y/N. Y/N smiled. “Is that alright with you?” Steve hesitated. “Uh yeah if you are.” Y/N rested her head on his shoulder. She could feel how tense his muscles were but he put his arm around her shoulders and he relaxed slightly. Y/N smiled to herself as he turned on the new TV. 

A knock on the door interrupted their entertainment and Steve got up to greet the visitor. Y/N was watching from the sofa. Three people were standing there, evidently their new neighbours. “Welcome to the building!” Said a young man with a handsome moustache. “Thank you!” Steve grinned. “I’m Sam and that’s Natasha over there.” Y/N smiled and waved from the sofa. The trio leant around Steve’s large figure to get a better look at her and they waved in return. “We were wondering if you would want to come to a welcome party to help you get to know everyone in the building?” A middle aged lady asked. Y/N had gotten up from the sofa and wrapped her arms around Steve’s waist, hugging him from the side. “We’d love that.” She smiled looking up at Steve, who leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You two are cute.” The lady said. Y/N chuckled. “We think we are.” She smirked and Steve laughed with the others. 

Steve was waiting for her by the door and Y/N grabbed her bag as she slipped her hand into his once again. She smiled softly. “Shall we go then?” Steve grinned and they made their way to the apartment. They were greeted by many faces and conversation was easy. They nailed their characters’ stories down to a point and there was no sense of doubt whatsoever. The pair had also done extra research the night before so they would be prepared for questions. Part way through the welcome wagon, Steve and Y/N shared a look that clearly said that they were happy with how well the night was going. They were talking about some things that they needed for the conversation, when a thin, greasy man introduced himself. “I don’t believe we’ve met.” He smiled, holding out his hand, his British accent thick. Y/N shook it, a friendly smile on her face and Steve grinned and took his hand enthusiastically. “My name is Tobias Meade.” “It’s so nice to meet you! I’m Natasha and this is Sam.” She smiled. Steve grinned. “Is that a British accent I detect?” He asked and the man chuckled. “Indeed it is. I grew up in Hampshire.” Y/N smiled and nodded. “And then I studied in London and moved here three years ago.” “What did you study?” Y/N asked. “Oh you know. This and that. Science mainly.” “Sounds fascinating. Anything specific or is it government secrets?” She winked and the man shifted uncomfortably. Y/N realised she may have made a mistake. “Ah well you could say that.” The man mumbled before disappearing into the groups of people. Y/N groaned. “I just blew it, didn’t I.” Steve hugged her and put on a laugh. He leant down to whisper in her ear. “We’re fine I promise you.” He kissed her forehead then hesitated. “Are you ok with me doing that?” He asked and Y/N laughed genuinely. “Of course I am.” She chuckled and she leant into the super soldier for another hug. 

“What’re you doing Steve?” He snapped the sketchbook shut. “Nothing.” Y/N raised an eyebrow. He got up from his armchair and clearly went to hide it. He came back and sat down next to Y/N on the sofa. Y/N snuggled under his arm and she felt his muscles tense then relax. He played with her hair and she smiled slightly. Steve slouched down and Y/N repositioned her head onto his chest. He put his legs up on the coffee table and Y/N rested hers on top of his. She looked up at him to see a soft smile on his face. She grinned. Both of their breathing gradually grew heavy and they eventually fell asleep. 

Y/N stirred slightly as Steve carried her through to the bedroom. He laid her on her side of the bed and pushed the hair out of her face, before placing a light kiss on her forehead. He sat down on the other side, causing Y/N to roll slightly into the middle. He lay down, distributing his weight more and Y/N smiled to herself as his arm tentatively wrapped around her waist. 

Y/N felt Steve sit up on the edge of the bed as the sun leaked through the blinds. She rolled over to watch him. His head was in his hands. “Steve you alright?” She asked. He jumped slightly before turning to look at her. He scanned her face before smiling. “I’m great.” He said and Y/N smiled tiredly. He lay down next to her. “How about we go and explore this neighbourhood then.” It was her turn to study his face now. He looked stressed and tired, yet somehow also relaxed. She didn’t push into that though and nodded instead. They got up to get dressed. Steve had pulled on his trousers and was looking for a top when he turned a bright shade of pink because he turned around to see Y/N standing in jeans and a bra. His eyes widened and he spun around to face away from her, burying his face in his hands. “Steve?” Y/N asked. Steve turned and saw that she still hadn’t put a top on and flushed an even deeper shade. Y/N giggled and tackled him into a hug, the skin to skin contact sending shocks up and down Steve’s body. 

Y/N and Steve walked hand in hand through the mall, Y/N swinging their arms back and forth playfully. Y/N leant into Steve, pointing at mannequins in the windows. He chuckled when she criticised clothing and was pulled into multiple shops and asked for opinions. Steve insisted on buying her a small star necklace that she couldn’t stop looking at and she thanked him repeatedly throughout the day. 

As they were walking, Steve’s arms laden with bags, Y/N spotted Tobias and waved. She could feel Steve’s grip tighten on her hand but she didn’t show that in her face. The scientist made eye contact, paused before smiling and beckoning the pair over to him. Y/N instantly dragged Steve with her, who stumbled but regained his footing. “Hey Tobias.” “Ah hello.” He replied, smiling slightly. “Natasha I was wondering if I could have your opinion on a few items.” He asked. Y/N nodded and smiled. “Of course!” Steve made to follow her. “Ah Sam. I was wondering if I could have Natasha’s opinion alone.” Y/N smiled and nodded. Steve hesitated unnoticeably for Tobias for a split second before breaking into a smile and nodding, clapping the British man on the shoulder, who flinched but smiled in return. Y/N followed the scientist into a store and over to a corner. She felt something sharp against her leg. “Do not look down.” Tobias murmured, pointing at shelves and then acting like he was asking her opinion. “Now turn to the Captain over there and wave reassuringly.” Y/N’s heart was pounding in her chest. She turned to Steve and waved with a smile, his worried stare flooded with relief. “I know who you are Y/L/N and if you want to make it back to your friends then you’ll do exactly as I tell you.”

Steve and Y/N had travelled back to their apartment that evening and when Steve awoke in the middle of the night, his arms instinctively searched for Y/N. He carefully reached over to the other side of the bed, only to find cold, empty bed sheets. His heart stopped and he sat bolt upright. He fumbled for the lamp and flicked it on, to see an empty bed, which had been abandoned hours ago. He leapt out of bed, tugging on a hoodie and he ran into the rest of the apartment, searching for Y/N but she wasn’t there. The front door was bolted from the inside so she couldn’t have left that way. He felt a cold breeze on the back of his neck and he looked to the window, which was open a crack. He rubbed his eyes and went back into the bedroom. He opened the wardrobe and pulled a trunk out of the base of it, causing the floor to shake with the weight of its impact. He unlocked and opened it, then started to change. 

Steve opened the window and took a small breath before jumping out of it, landing on his shield with a thud that knocked the air out of his lungs. He stood up, dusted himself off, then spoke into his comms. “Fury do you copy.” The line crackled for a few seconds before Fury’s deep voice responded. “Rogers I copy. We’re tracking her now.” Steve flexed his neck. “Steve we’ve found her.” Natasha’s voice spoke clearly into his ear. “Only six blocks north of you, but she’s moving.” Steve bolted in the given direction, not even bothering to respond. 

Steve ran into the middle of the road, not caring about the squealing of brakes, the complaints of car horns and the shouts of “Oh my God is that Captain America?!”. “Nat which car is it.” He half yelled, energy slowly seeping out of him, despite his super soldier form. “Black limo, second lane.” Steve pushed himself even harder, running as fast as he possibly could and soon he was running alongside the vehicle. He peered through the darkened windows and just about made out the figure of Y/N slumped unconscious in a corner. He shattered the passenger seat window and swung into the limo. He smashed the driver in the face, unclipped the man’s seatbelt and pushed the bleeding body out of the door after leaning across and opening it. He quickly clambered into the driver’s seat before the limo lost control and he sped away from the mess behind him towards the Avengers Compound. 

Y/N opened her eyes, then shut them immediately due to the bright white lights in the medical bay. She rubbed her eyes with one hand as they gradually adjusted and stretches, muscles screaming in protest. She looked down at her other hand, grasped in that of a super soldier, who was dosing in an armchair next to her bed. She smiled softly and squeezed his hand. Steve jumped and looked at his hand. Y/N watched his gaze dart up her arm, from her hand to her face. His face broke into a joyous and relieved smile. His eyes were slightly red and puffy.  “Y/N.” He breathed, holding her hand tightly within his. “You’re alright.” Y/N kept smiling.  “Of course I am.” She said. “Steve have you been crying?” She added, quietly. Steve avoided her gaze and nodded ever so slightly.  “I was so worried.” Steve whispered. Y/N brought her hand up to Steve’s cheek, where she wiped away a fresh tear with her thumb. Steve leant into her hand and she smiled. Fury stepped into the room.  “Y/N. I see you are awake. We need to debrief you as the mission failed.”  “That isn’t technically our fault.” Y/N replied with a smirk and Steve chuckled.  “Indeed.” Fury added. “I must say your acting was not at fault.”  “It wasn’t really acting.” Steve murmured, looking at Y/N, who’s sarcastic expression softened. Fury chuckled.  “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. We can debrief later.” He said, turning on his heel, leaving the pair blushing a bright shade of red. They then laughed and Steve kissed the palm of Y/N’s hand which was still against his cheek.  “Y/N... there’s something I need to.. uh.. tell you.”  “I think I can guess.”  “So do you want to... uh..”  “Fondue?” She grinned, bursting into laughter at Steve’s expression, who was making a mental note to never tell her anything ever.  “How about a date?” He suggested and she chuckled, pulling Steve into a long kiss.

#marvellousfanfics #marvel #avengers #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine #avengers fanfic #avengers imagine #steve rogers #captain america #chris evans #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers imagine

[redhoodsjacket]

Acid - Bruce Banner

I’m on fire guys. Another one in the Mutant serie... This one is kinda intense ngl

Mutant serie masterlist

Pairing: Bruce Banner x Reader

Genre: Drama (surprise...), bit of fluff toward the end

Word count: 2408

Summary: The one where Bruce confesses his feelings for you after you reveal you biggest secret to him

Warnings: Mention of substance abuse, mention of pain related trauma, mention of death

"... seemingly a robbery that turned bad at America's Bank on the seventh street, where several hostages witnessed a "beast" tearing down everything in its path. Eye witness Linda Warner was on the first line to see it all fold out. - Yeah, it came out of one of the offices. At first it attacked to robbers, but then it attacked people around, I was scared for my life! - Seven people perished, including the four robbers on place. More at six with the police's statement" Tony closed the TV, sighing as he mentally rehearsed what he'd tell the press, then what he'd do about this so called beast.  "So, what's happening now?"  He jumped at the voice and turned around in his rolling chair to face the door. He never heard Bruce come in. "Some beast prevented a bank robbery with a few causalities" He shrugged. "So same old" 

"A bank?" Bruce frowned. "Which one?" "America's Bank down on the seventh" Bruce stilled at his words, his breathing accelerating as he tried to tell himself that it couldn't be... "Tony, where's (Y/N)?" "She said she was going to the bank real quick for an appointm... Oh no" Tony's eyes widened at the realization. "You don't think it's her bank, do you?" Bruce only made a face and swallowed the lump forming in his throat, fearing that it might very well be the bank she had her account in.  "FRIDAY, call (Y/N)" Tony ordered. "Very well" The AI answered. They waited a few seconds before it spoke again. "It appears as (Y/N) is declining your attempts to reach her. Should I try again?" Tony replied affirmatively and waited again. It still fell on the voicemail. "(Y/N) has requested me to inform you that she is fine, and that she needs some time away. Should I override that request?" "Y-" "No" Bruce replied before Tony, sending him a warning glance. "She's fine, she just needs some time alone" Tony was about to argue, but he stopped himself. "Fine. But if my head biologist is not back here safe and sound in twenty four hours, I'm going after her" /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ You hand were shaking on the steering wheel as you sped through a familiar road in the woods. Dried blood was still on your ripped clothes, your hair was a messy bird nest and dust still stuck under your nails. But you didn't care about how terrible you looked.  Ten years. You had been without an incident for ten years. Countless hours of practicing your control and restraint, and for what? Ruining everything with a gunshot.  You had an appointment at 10:15 with your financial adviser. You just needed to check something out, it wasn't supposed to last more than 20 minutes. But then, a bunch of robbers decided to strike in broad daylight, gangster fashion. You crouched as the first gunshots echoed, but you thought you'd be safe in the office you were in. You weren't.  A guy found you, and decided you wouldn't be a part of the hostages. You felt the bullet rip through your back, followed by the haunting crunch of the first bone dislocating. Before you even knew it, scales protruded from your spine and your skin turned into this porous, acid sweating mess. You lost control. You killed the guy who shot you, then all of his buddies before the cops even showed. But it was the three innocent people that stayed on your mind. Casualties, that's what they were called. People dying as a result of neutralizing a threat, a necessary evil one might say. But you didn't believe that. They were victims, your victims. They were dead because your control slipped. It was your fault. The ringing of the communication device in the car made you jump on surprise, bringing you back to reality. You read the caller ID, and immediately declined the call. Then, it rang again. So you declined again. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., tell Stark that I'm fine" You called to the AI, wiping your tears from your eyes. "Tell him I need some time away" "Miss (Y/N), your current vitals are at a concerning level right now" The AI replied. "I would suggest seeking help. Should I notify your emergency contact?" "No, just-" You paused, frowning. "Who's my emergency contact anyway?" "Bruce Banner"  Oh. "Just- just notify Stark that I'm okay" You sighed.  "Very well" It replied before shutting down. You ran a hand down your face and kept on driving. It wasn't long until you pulled up in the driveway of a round wood cabin, the one you used to spend your summers in when you were younger. You parked the car and headed inside, hoping nothing had changed.  After dusting off everything, you found out that it was exactly the same as when you had last visited. Even your old room hadn't been touched.  You changed into some of your mother's old, loose fitting clothes and grabbed a bottle of wine from the cellar and slid down on the floor and the couch's foot. You blew on the label to make the dust fly off and absentedmindly read it. It was a red, probably not so expensive if it was here. You unscrewed it, and right before you could take your first swing, you heard the front door creak open.  "(Y/N)?" You closed your eyes and threw your head back, stiffening a groan. Stupid AI not listening to you. "I thought I told F.R.I.D.A.Y. that I wanted to be left alone" You said in a raspy voice from all of the crying, staring into nothing ahead of you. "Well, technically, you told it to tell Stark to leave you alone. Not me, at least not explicitly" Bruce awkwardly shuffled in. "Besides, I think it sent me your coordinates as soon as you left Manhattan, y'know, emergency contact stuff" You chuckled emptily and glanced at him. "Of course it did" You muttered. "Uh, are you okay?" He asked as he stopped near you. You shook your head slowly and put the bottle down. "Were you hurt during the robbery?" You shook your head again and patted the space beside you. He obliged, but it didn't ease his concerned expression.  "You know, I didn't always have it figured out" You started, not able to refrain yourself from pouring out your emotions. "Since I was out of high school, I was a drug addict. Obviously I didn't consider myself that back then, but now I see I had a hell of a problem" "Wow" Bruce breathed, eyebrows rising. "That's kinda hard to believe" "Yep. I did all kinds of drugs. Soft ones, hard ones, as long as I felt the buzz. And I my friends were all the same. All I wanted was to have fun, even if I was the only one to agree with how. My parents didn't like it very much, so they cut me off. Didn't care about that either, I thought I was free from their judgement. "One day, while my friends and I were off to a trip in Costa Rica, we decided to go see the volcanoes. We were obviously high as a kite, didn't have a care in the world. So we passed by those lakes in the craters, that might be fatally acidic depending on how much the volcano is active. Then this guy dares me to jump in without checking if it was safe. "The water was so pretty, a vibrant turquoise shining in the sun. I will always remember that moment, that split moment before I jumped. Then, a second after, came the worst pain of my life" "I guess it wasn't safe" He mumbled, looking down then back at you again. "Nope" You shook your head. "I felt my skin melt, Bruce. And by the time I dragged myself out of the water, maybe three or four second, the water wasn't very shallow..." "Then how... How did-How are you even here?" He stuttered, scanning you from head to toes. You certainly didn't seem like someone who had jumped into an acidic water basin. "That's the thing" You sighed. "I somehow survived the ride to the hospital. I think all the drugs in my system actually numbed the pain, even if it was still excruciating. I remember them wrapping me up in bandages, then put me in a medically induced coma. And the first thing I knew, I woke up butt naked on the forest floor, skin as smooth as a baby" Bruce stared at you for a second before realization flashed in his eyes. "It was you" You nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. "I worked so hard, Bruce. To control my shifts. Not to let it take over me. I came back in New-York, got myself together, got my PhD in biology to understand my mutation better, and here I am, turning into a huge monster and wrecking shit in a bank" "Hey, it's okay" He reassured, rubbing your shoulder. "It's not your fault. Trust me on this" "Right, I almost forgot" You gave a timid smile to the floor. "The green guy must do as he pleases too, uh?" "I'm kinda coming around to terms with him, actually" He chuckled, and so did you. He truly was making progresses, it was impressive. "But you shouldn't blame yourself. Take it from someone with experience, you have to forgive the beast and move on, or else you'll die of guilt" "Okay" You breathed, nodding. "I'll try" "Also, whatever people will say, ignore them. They'll be afraid, but you don't have to be" He shrugged. "It's part of you, you can't change it, but you can learn to live with it" "Easy to say when your monster still kinda looks good" You half joked. "Mine looks right out of a nightmare" "My monster looks good?" He chuckled in disbelief, eyebrows raised high. "Besides, I'm sure it can't be that bad"  "Yeah I'd rather have yours than mine" You admitted with a sigh. "Could you... you know, show me?" He asked shyly. "What?" Your pulse accelerated at what he was asking of you.  "I mean if you don't mind" He hurried to the explanation. "I'd like to see it, but only if you are up for it" "I uh, I... okay" You agreed with a sigh and stood up. "Just don't take off running as soon as you see it, please" "Promise" He gave you a small smile.  You took a few steps back and focused on your changing. You felt your muscles pull themselves apart and rearrange in your back to accommodate the scales as well as your fingernails grow into talons. Bruce's eyes went wide, but he didn't seem afraid. It would be a first, because everyone else you crossed while being the other you had been straight up terrified.  He had the time to look you up and down before you shrunk back to your normal self. You were glad the cotton shorts and loose shirt had held on the transition this time, or it would have lead to a very uncomfortable situation.  "It's..." "Ugly? Horrible? The worst thing you've ever seen?" You suggested. "No" He objected. "I was gonna say fascinating" "Not a lot of people seem to think that" You said as you sat back down next to him.  "But I do" He once again smiled at you. "I think it's pretty cool, actually" You looked down at the floor to hide the blush on your cheek at his compliment. You had always liked Bruce, maybe as something more than a friend. He was kind, smart and thoughtful, and he always helped you when you needed it. But you had overheard him tell Tony with a hard certainty that relationships wasn't his thing and that he didn't want one. So you gave up chasing after him. But looking at him now, it was hard to ignore your feelings for him. His proximity was calming, and his warm brown eyes were drawing you closer to him. "Thank you" You whispered. "It's comforting to know you have a friend who can relate, and not judge you" "About that" He said not very much louder than your own voice. "There was something I've been meaning to uh. Talk to you about" "Yes?" Your heart leaped in your throat. "Do you ever think that uh, maybe it shouldn't... Be what we are?" He asked nervously. "Just friends?"  "Sometimes..." You trailed off in between two quick breaths. "Most of the time to be honest"  "O-okay" He nodded, a light fluster reddening his cheeks. "I uh, really, really like you, (Y/N)" "I really, really like you too, Bruce" you smiled timidly like you were a teenager all over again. But this time, more sober and with definitely less mistakes. You leaned toward him, pausing only at an inch from his lips, as to silently ask for permission.  He closed the distance and your lips pressed in a soft, gentle kiss. Your hand went to rest lightly on his cheek as you parted, still staying only inches apart. You looked up and met his glance, which was sparkling in a way that you decided you loved. A smile tugged at both of your mouths at what just happened, happy to finally have let the cat out of the bag.  "So this happened" You muttered, linking your fingers with his. You didn't move away though, you liked the proximity. "I hope it keeps happening too" He replied, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear with his free hand.  "I don't wanna go back yet" You admitted. Because then you'd have to tell people of your condition, and job would get in the way again. You wanted to stay in this little bubble you had just created a bit longer. "Let's stay here for a while" Bruce seemed to understand the feeling. His smile widened to become even a bit childish. "Tony gave you 24 hours before he comes and get you himself" He began. "So that leaves us 22 hours 19 minutes of peace to forget about reality" "That sounds like a deal" You grinned. "But we'll just need more wine"  "Your face tells me it won't be a problem" He stated. "Indeed it won't, Dr. Banner" You rested your head on his shoulder and snuggled closer to him. His arm went around your shoulder and rubbed your arm soothingly. "Indeed it won't"

•••

Tag list 

@thehabssuck-getoverit @potato-with-possible-standards @ fortisetgloriosusinarduis

#bruce banner x reader #bruce banner imagine #bruce banner #mutant serie #marvel imagine #marvel #mcu imagine #mcu #imagine

[spacepxet]

26 things that make me happy (bc someone just asked me to list 5 and it got me going..)

1. fairy lights: i absolutely adore some pretty cute fairy lights, they shine and make the room feel so comfy and homely and i feel like i jumped straight into a retro movie

2. dogs: big dogs, little dogs, fluffy dogs, curley dogs. idc, i just bloody love dogs (especially smiley ones)

3. cats: especially cats that are smiley and fluffy and curl up around you, demanding to be stroked. there’s nothing like a needy cat to brighten up my day

4. a book: i absolutely adore reading, and the transportation that can come from reading a real good book

5. finishing a book: the satisfaction i feel after finishing a book (especially if it was a particularly long one) is undefinable

6. music: i a d o r e music and nothing can compare to a bloody good music sesh

7. that one HyPe song: when you’re really feeling it and it’s loud and you feel f r e e

8. music in a car. with headphones. when it’s raining: you can just recreate every sad song mv ever and it’s just beautiful

9. a sad song on a bad day: idk why but it just completes me

10. oversized jumpers (that are not your own): you know the ones that you just ‘drown’ in? i l o v e it

11. that one bird video: brightens up my life this does..

https://youtu.be/BYJB0zyjt70

12. just birds tbh: all bird videos will make my day tbh

13. making someone i love/admire laugh: lmao ik it sounds cringy but it gives me such a floaty feeling to have someone i treasure laugh bc i said something or did something good enough to bring that look and s o u n d from them. me!!

14. hugs: lol okay, im not very touchy feely but i get those days sometimes where i crave hugs and when someone initiates one, and they hold you like you mean the world and it’s so soft and they smell nice and you can hear their heartbeat and their breath and it’s so intimate and you feel so loved

15. aesthetic notes: whether that be my own or someone else’s, nothing gets me like a bloody pretty page of chemistry equations.

16. anything yellow: honestly it could be a yellow toilet cleaner yet id still want it if it’s just t h a t shade

17. when someone talks to you and it’s not about sex: this is more specifically at the ahem opposite sex, but when someone talks to me, and it’s not about their ego or what’s in the pants it gets me going. i h a t e sex and to have someone talk to me like they genuinely care about my life (even if it’s about math, honestly idec) and problems it makes me beam

18. oversized anything tbh: i looove oversized clothes aGh. make me feel like some tumblr kid or something

19. plants: i own a little succulent family and they’re all different in their own ways and so very precious to me and i lovelovelove finding a new addition to the family awhhh

20. crying: lmao okay this is depressing but sometimes a good cry just lightens up my life a lil ngl

21. rip vine compilations: if i’m being honest it’s half of my watch history on youtube ++ the entirety of my recommended

22. people ranting: watching people get so expressive (especially if they’re trusting me personally with their secrets) is so rewarding awh

23. even things: i.e even numbers, things being placed out evenly, order etc..

24. that day when you’re feeling yourself and you take a 🅱️opping selfie: you know when you just have one of those days where everything beauty wise is just going great and you feel so great and you take selfies and they don’t look crap for once and you post it and get appreciated? yeah that.

25. poetry: o h g o d. i bloody crave poetry. it’s such a beautiful, expressive, intimate thing and i lovelovelove it so much. old, new, alt. i just a d o r e poetry. idec if it’s written by some big author or my best friend. i just want to read it all, devour it.

26. writing: my phone notes are full of so much half assed writings and moving poetry and i love going back to it and reread it, relive it and be like ‘damm, i wrote that?’ and sometimes cringe and rewrite and or make new stuff, it’s therapy and so, so important to me

there is so sososo much more i could say but imma stop it there.. i feel so dang great now wow.

#self love #self help #self care #happy #wow #this is pretty fun tbh #quick reminder #do this if you ever feel shit #deppression #sad

[themadcapmathematician]

I started watching the lazy town stage play(s?) and here’s what I’ve gleaned so far:

-its a fucking trip for starters 

-Srsly I have no idea what the fuck is going on

-is this like…meant for kids? Adults??? What’s happening here?????

-because all the kids are played by adults but that doesn’t make the upskirt shots of Stephanie and her tiny ass dress any less weird

-or that time íþró broke into Pixel’s house or grabbed Trixie’s hair (not that she didn’t deserve it but jesus)

-Trixie, by the way, is a fucking bitch

-Stingy on the other hand is like…kind of a putz? Idk I haven’t seen the whole thing yet

-why are they always singing about piss

-oh my god that reminds me. Glanni. Where do I even fucking start

-I see why ppl characterize him as a sauve pretty mettaton-type character but he seems like the kind of guy who lives in the trash and wears mismatched stuff he reclaimed from a dumpster, maybe after tossing some glitter on it

-I mean he owns it, he’s clearly king bitch of trash mountain here but…still

-I guess he appearently killed flowers by how bad he smells

-he also poisoned the town or something??? I’m not at that part yet

-Damn Glanni chill the fuck out that’s intense. This is a children’s show. I think

-its extra weird bc Robbie Rotten is like Dr. Doofinshmirtz evil. He thinks he’s the devil but clearly he’s the towns lovable minor inconvenience at best. Glanni would stab a man over the last McDonald’s fry at the bottom of the bag

-the thing is he’s also a total dork like Robbie tho and I wish ppl played that up a bit more too. He’s like Bill Cipher-ish in his ability to be both threatening and a petty dumb goober 

-Petty. He’s so petty. God. I love him. 

-that hat. I would mug him for that hat 

-speaking of hats…íþró…what the fuck are you wearing

-that doesn’t match at all what the fuck its like bright orange

-I’m sorry íþró Sporty has a way better uniform thing going. It looks like he’s wearing a race car; you look like you rummaged through the Halloween costume bargain bin at the thrift store on November first 

-(in cause you’re wondering why I just call him íþró but used the dipthong I was dedicated enough to look up the Icelandic language wiki page and download the Icelandic language keyboard but I’m too lazy to either write out his full name or copy paste it atm so this is what y'all get. That’s all you need to know about my personality btw I feel)

-(anyway back to dragging him)

-ngl the boyo is cute. He’s not as pure as Sporty but he’s still pretty pure and it hurts me 

-that mustache tho

-Appearently the guy who plays him also wrote the damn thing and created the lazytown tv series so I’ve gotta ask… is this whole thing just so Magnus can do some sick kick flips and shit. Like did he write this entire thing around him showing off his hella parkour skills. I need answers here

-íþró’s name appearently means “sports elf” like that’s his name

-ngl when I first started reading lazytown fic I thought ppl made that up but everyone just accepted it as canon, like the lotr elves having pointy ears or Suzumiya Haruni being god. I just thought that was fanon

-nope. Dudes literally a “sports elf” whatever the fuck that is

-Fae!Robbie and Glanni is appearently fanon tho. Bummer. It would explain a lot

-um…damn I’m not super far in. I’ve just seen little bits and pieces to get a feel of what’s going on

-Glanni literally threw away text books I’m…wtf

-actually what the fuck is his motivation btw I mean Robbie just wants everyone to shut up because he’s a raging insolmniac who lives under this noisy ass town, and if some guy in a blue tracksuit and a night cap jumped around me like a hyperactive jackrabbit and told me to eat a vegetable id hate him too. Whys Glanni so bent out of shape

-Glanni is a good meower 

-the mayhem town gang…what….

-what’s with the weird bird puppet

-he went from throwing away text books and vegetables to poisoning people? Glanni calm the fuck down 

-the visual effects are like? Really good?? Just like the series???

-pixel being white is weirding me out btw

-I relate to all versions of pixel tho as it turns out. Fuck going outside. I can watch tv AND write. im doing it right now 

-the remote belt is great btw. I need me one

-omg I love how that meme about sportacus jumping out of the tv to tell you to go outside is canon tho

-*íþró jumps out of my screen and crushes my skull between his athletic thighs, killing me instantly*

#glanni glæpur í latabæ #lazytown #ok to reblog #lazy town #íþróttaálfurinn #glanni glaepur #madcap rants #blogging from the beyond #submission