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gojos-thot-patrol · 1 year

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🌶️ nsfw HCs for jjk men 🥵 general sexy times~ what are they like in bed?

ooo, IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UPPPPP!!!

Now Presenting...

Starring Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna.

Sugru Geto

Cigarettes and feelings keep me Laughing when everything is all fucked up

C O R R U P T I O N K I N K DO YOU HEAR ME?!

He sees himself as dirty and ruined and he needs to see that in you too.

His loves how you look when you’re choking on his cock

He loves it so much he’s gonna take a picture! He’s big on recording you in your most vulnerable moments

Mirror on the ceiling so you can watch him fuck you stupid

I hope you have a degradation kink cause he's going to call you his stupid fucking whore

But hey! At least you’re his stupid fucking whore!

He needs to push your limits. He needs to see how far you’re willing to go for him, and what you're willing to do to get his praise.

Unlike in your daily life, his praise is rare in the bedroom. That’s what makes it so intoxicating when he finally does give it out. You’re still going to have to work for it though.

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE: he hates to be called daddy. Call him literally anything else, but the moment you say “Daddy” he’s over it

Now Sir on the other hand? Sir will always make him act up, use it strategically, lest you get pounded in a dirty bathroom.

He gives me the vibes of someone that would convince you to drop ex or acid then fuck him for a “religious experience.”

IDK maybe that's just me seeing the cult leader in him.

All of that being said, I also think Suguru has mastered the art of aftercare

During the act he’s a monster, but after? Nothing but praise and love. He’s worshiping your body while cleaning you up, cuddling with you for as long as you’ll let him.

You need water? He’s getting it. You want a bath? Say no more he’s running it for you.

He never wants you to think he’s just using you for your body.

Even if he is.

Satoru Gojo

Set my alarm, turn on my charm That's because I'm a good old-fashioned loverboy

My most controversial Gojo take is that he’s actually not all that experienced

This man has spent his entire life either as a child or raising a child he didn’t have a lot of time for romance.

Not only that, but having sex with someone is an inherently vulnerable position to put yourself in. Man’s got too many enemies for that.

BUT that does not mean that he isn't willing to learn for you!

Gojo is above all else adaptable, and his main goal in the bedroom is to get you off. He’s willing to do whatever you need.

Honestly, that’s probably his kink. Overstimulation. He wants to make you feel so good you're delirious, he wants to make you cum so hard you forget anything other than his name.

He is the king of oral. It’s his favorite thing, eating you out through multiple orgrasam until his face is soaked in you. And he’s good at it too. He knows exactly how to make you melt under him.

His dick isn’t thick, but it is long, and weirdly pretty for a cock. He also uses a ring light to take dick pics. Tell me he doesn’t, you can’t.

He’s also very vocal. He likes when you're loud, it’s how he knows he’s doing something right. So, he’s pretty vocal as well, wanting to let you know just how amazing you make him feel

when he's not telling you about how good you feel, he's kissing you. He LOVES kissing you, its like a drug to him.

Gojo struggles a lot with the feeling that people don’t really like him, so he has a praise kink. On both the giving AND receiving end

I also feel like he’s really into lingerie, and has no problems dropping a paycheck on a new set for you.

Definition of “There’s a difference between fucking someone and making love.”

God, I hate that phrase but I'm genuinely not sure how else to get my point across lmao

When ya’ll are just fucking, he tries to play the part of a big tough dom, dirty talk galore, overstimulation to the point of tears, the man is a beast.

But in your quiet moments, when you’re, for lack of a better word, making love, there’s a 63% chance he's going to cry.

He gets overwhelmed by his love for you, and the realization that you love him for him, 6 eyes or not. It gets to him.

And the best part? He’s not even embarrassed by it, because you don’t shame him for it. He’s truly safe with you

Kento Nanami

Hey pretty baby can you feel that heat? You got me twitchin to the edge of my seat

Dare I say daddy kink?

I do, I do dare. Nanami knows the type of person he attracts (riddled with daddy issues) and has decided to play into it.

I feel like Nanami never loses his composure, even in the bedroom. He could be giving you the ride of your LIFE while calmly explaining the stock market to you. It’s part of why teacher Nanami is so appealing to me I’M SORRY-

“Are you paying attention? This is going to be on the test.”

He says as he's skullfucking you into oblivion

Despite his calm composure, he's big on dirty talk…mostly as a way to ask for consent and gauge how you’re doing at the moment. He’s still Nanami

“You like that Princess?” “Beg for me.” “Tell me what you want,” All phrases that pop up commonly in your bedroom

He’s a panty snatcher, there I said it. He’s taking your panties with him when he leaves your place. You can get them back the next time you two get together.

He is prone to taking out his frustration on you in the bedroom when he’s had a bad day.

Not that you're complaining, nothing like his thick cock splitting you open after a rough day, amiright?

Public sex. Nanami loves covertly fucking you, in various ways, and watching you try to keep your composure. Be it him finger fucking you under the table, or reminding you that you have guests downstairs while he rails you in your bedroom, he likes to test your volume control.

In a similar vein, phone sex! He’s away on “Business” a lot, so late nights on the phone with you are basically a necessity for him.

M A R K I N G. You think it’s childish? He doesn’t fucking care he needs EVERYON to know you’re together

Hickies everywhere, dark ones that don’t budge for days, even weeks

Brat tamer. No, I won't explain, look at him.

He’s probably the best dom, even if he is a softer dom. He's going to discuss your hard and soft limits, safe word, and discuss the red yellow green system. Your comfort and safety is his number one priority.

Going hand in hand with that, Nanami has mastered the art of aftercare. Anything you need, he’s got, anything you need him to do, he’s doing. He’s showering you in words of affirmation while trying to rehydrate you.

Also He’s cuddly. He wants you to fall asleep resting on his chest while he traces lazy patterns in your back. It’s his ideal way to go to sleep.

Ryomen Sukuna

My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God

BESTIE idk how many different ways I can tell you not to go near this man, but let's find out

For one, he’s incredibly selfish, prioritizing his pleasure over yours every time.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t at least try to get you off though. Nay nay, getting you off is a part of his pleasure. Because it strokes his ego.

Daycraphillia. Be it from pleasure or pain, he loves to see your tear soaked face.

This man is PACKING btw. It hurts at first everytime no matter how ready you are for him. The king of curses has the dick to back up all the shit he talks, you can’t convince me otherwise

He’s got four hands and he’s gonna use them all. Fingers in your pussy, on your tits, in your mouth, in on your ass. You're going to feel like you’re drowning in him.

Degradation. You're a filthy little whore, the only thing you’re good for is being a hole for him to fuck.

Does he actually mean this? I mean…shit, maybe! Depends on where you’re at in the relationship honestly.

He will summon mouths in random places when fucking you. On his palms, above his cock, anywhere. Be prepared to feel a random tongue in random places.

…..breeding kink.

Honestly, I don’t think he’s proud of it. But something in him wants to fuck an heir into more than he wants to breath.

Also, blood and marking kink. These go hand in hand as far as he’s concerned. He will bite you until you bleed with no issue.

He may not truly love you yet but the moment he stuck his dick in you, you became his. Which means no other man can touch you. Hence why he clearly marks you as his.

Aftercare who? He doesn’t know her, you’re lucky if he doesn’t immediately kick you out of the bed when he’s done.

The exception being if you somehow managed to rope him into a “real” relationship. I still don’t think he’d be an aftercare king or anything, but he would at least cuddle with you until you passed out.

Sukuna likes to find your limits, and then push you past them. He needs to see how far you’re willing to go for him, even if that breaks you.

God, this mf is so toxic. Why do I love him?

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professor-doc-emeritus · 14 days

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I love the dichotomy we get between jinshi and the emperor that shows off how the traits that make jinshi a great prince, boss, friend (husband 👀👀👀👀) are the very same traits that will make him a terrible emperor.

His hard working streak that lets him handle his weird assignments with grace and manage the clashing egos of the inner palace is what will get him killed by overwork as emperor since he has no real head for delegation. It took 11 volumes and the intervention of most of his immediate family just to get jinshi to hire a secretary. The emperor always being free to host parties, sleep with the consorts, and bust jinshis balls in-between it all is, much like lakan always being free to annoy maomao, actually a sign of him being god-like at delegation and organizational management.

His lack of ego and willingness to look the fool if it gets the job done is great for avoiding political snafus and getting to the truth of things. It's genuinely the thing that makes all his expeditions to the western capital so wildly successful: he really doesn't gaf about how he's seen by the public, so long as the job gets done and his friends aren't in immediate danger. It's also the exact opposite of what you need from a head of state who's legitimacy is not-insignificantly based on the public perceiving you as an instrument of the will of heaven. The emperor being willing to kill people and their families over slights jinshi (and most sane human beings) would be willing to let slide is cruel and inhuman, but it's also what keeps the populace at large from being able to organize against him and challenge the imperial power.

Jinshis compassionate streak, his urge to save as many people he can and find the best solution for everyone possible, makes him great to work for. He'll give you assignments that match your hyper fixation, work around your crippling social anxiety, give you a post that just-so-happens to involve you staying with the love of your life for a few months. More over, he isn't gonna risk his life and your position over petty ego or greed when he can find a peaceful solution instead. But the hesitation he feels at using people like tools, and his unwillingness to act if it means throwing people under the bus, is what will lead to death and destruction if he's the emperor. Especially in a time of war. The current emperor is willing to ruin lives and crush nations if it reaches a goal, advances an agenda.

Finally, jinshis loyalty, I'd say even more than his looks, is what draws people to him. He loves his toys, can't stand to give them up. It makes him a great romantic figure. But when you're the emperor, and you need to be willing and able to marry someone for political ends, produce as many heirs as possible regardless of who with, and set aside the feelings of those women for your own sake, that loyalty is poison.

Idk, so often in stories with these systems they sorta follow the logic of "if he's a good person he'll be a good leader." I think it's cool to have a series talk about how being a leader involves being EXTREMELY comfortable with being an asshole, for a myriad of reasons, and how someone being pleasant to work for wouldn't make them an effect monarch.

#its also important to note that despite all the shitty things the emperor is shown being/doing #he genuinely is portrayed as a well loved and effective leader #who does his best to reach his version of compassion #john mulaney has a good bit about working with celebrities for snl #and how in their world their version of polite/acceptable is very different and it can lead to tense situations #i think a lot of the emperor's actions are like that #like in a vacuum they're dick moves #but in the context of who he is and what his duties are you see why he does them #the apothecary diaries #jinshi #ka zuigetsu #spoilers

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nyerus · 8 months

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Hi! I would love to hear your thoughts about classism in TGCF, but specifically regarding XL. It surprised me to see people hating on XL for not knowing or doing better during his teenage years of luxury as the crown prince and making XL a complete villain because he didn't take down classism and restructure society despite still being a kid himself. It struck me as odd that the fandom is well aware of his 800 years in poverty but also not really addressing the fact that XL, too, is a victim of classism albeit a little different from someone like MQ.

Hi there! So sorry it's taken me this long to get to this ask, I've just been in sort of a funk for a few days haha.

But yeah, this is definitely a topic that comes up from time to time, with lots of discussion about. It surprises me that despite that, there are still people (maybe just newer fans? idk) who still hate on Xie Lian for his naive views as a 17yo. Especially since, despite being a naive 17yo, he still really wanted to help people less fortunate than himself. He didn't quite understand how to do this in the most effective ways (because he was a teenager), so it came off as somewhat patronizing as he was a person in a position of power compared to everyone else. Yet his desire to help people was genuine, and he didn't personally think of "common folk" as being any lesser than "royalty" -- even though in this case, there kind of literally was a difference. (E.g. when Lang Ying goes from being a commoner to a king, he gets a "kingly aura" that protects him!) So it's honestly kind of incredible that Xie Lian is willing to say things like "I think people are equal, even gods and humans, and if the Heavens disagree with me, then it's the Heavens that are wrong" with his entire heart.

I imagine a large part of the hate Xie Lian gets from certain fans is jealousy or resentment, due to the fact that Xie Lian was "born privileged." But on it's own, "privilege" is not "the great enemy" -- it's what said privilege means in the context of society, and what someone does/doesn't do with it that merits judgement. Xie Lian doesn't fully understand the privilege he had until he loses it (again: because he was 17!), but he still understood it enough to use it to protect and help people. That's more than many other characters can say. Him starting out as a prince doesn't automatically disqualify him from class struggles or the horrors of poverty. It's nonsensical to think so, when this is a character who literally spent almost 800 years busking for scraps, while sleeping in dirt outside and eating garbage….

On the flip side, as you mentioned Mu Qing -- yes, he was a victim of classism. But he's a very strange figure to use as the poster boy for that, though he often is by people who are critical of Xie Lian. This may be a controversial take, despite it being something I think that makes the character of Mu Qing really interesting: but he's a very "typical" guy within the concept of classism. He's someone who started off with a bad lot, but then ended up ascending to the highest point you pretty much can in that world/society. Which is great! He did that through hard work, and it paid off! But now, since he got his "happy ending," that's kind of it for him. He doesn't do anything to materially improve the lives of those less fortunate, especially those he has no personal connection with. This doesn't make him a bad person -- it's not really his job to that, even as a god. He's a martial god, so he's there to subdue threats and all that. Yet you can clearly see, that's exactly the type of person society values because such "rags to riches" stories give legitimacy to the whole system, and because they don't rock the boat once they're on top.

So then it's odd to be angry at Xie Lian but not Mu Qing (or others) for the lack of some "grand revolution" that some readers seem to want.

Ironically, Xie Lian used what power he had to try and help people -- and he was worse off for it. If he had done nothing, he would have been able to live a happy and carefree life. He would have lived and died as a rich prince/king with no troubles. Like, that's the point! The societies we live in punish those who want to broadly help others or make meaningful change, while rewarding those who quietly play the game for themselves -- because it helps keep the wheels turning. It doesn't matter at "what end" of the spectrum you start out on, the rules apply the same way. If you go against the establishment, there's a price to be paid.

Throughout Xie Lian's long journey, he learns this lesson the hard way. And the fact that in order to change it, he would somehow have to change the hearts and minds of pretty much everyone -- which is an impossible ask. How is he even supposed to that, or restructure society as a whole, without vast amounts of collateral damage? In the end, Xie Lian discovers that he was not wrong in his desire to help people, even if he cannot help everyone. He can still help people he meets in whatever ways he can, and that is still important. To show kindness, mercy, and empathy towards your fellow man is worth it. Helping your neighbors or complete strangers you meet once and then never again -- all that is still worth it.

I wish I had the time to sit down and really talk about this in a more organized way, but these disjointed thoughts are all I can manage at the moment! I hope it was still valuable to you in some way, and thank you for sending in the ask!

(Also, I recently reblogged a post that talked about something similar if you wanna check it out, Anon. It's right under the manhua highlights I think!)

#Anonymous #asks #tgcf #im seeing a LOT of chatter on this topic lately so it makes me wonder if there was some discourse i missed due to being under a rock lol #nyerus.txt

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heartscrypt · 9 months

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For the miraculous au

would it not be silly and goofy if when not as superheros and in their like school. normal teenage life. like. yaknow. in canon. jamil has a big (in denial) crush. bc hes ladybug. idk where im going with this

i love your miraculous jamiazu au i think thats the main idea from this ask

using this ask as an excuse to pull out the love square map (i'm actually fucking crazy)

OK SOOOO. so. i was not kidding when i said the love square was different from the show. ive kind of swapped around the dynamics from the original to fit the characters better

everything under a read more so as to not intimidate anyone with how severely ill i am about them

jamil -> azul: in contrast to the mlb canon jamil will NOT have a big ginormous stalker crush on azul. in fact he does not like azul and will often clam up / go quiet around him. will excuse himself from interactions with the other and generally avoid the hell out of him because he thinks the other is so clearly hiding something and he does NOT want to get wrapped up in it

azul -> jamil: think pre-book 4 incident where azul's had an eye on jamil for a very long time. if anything he has the big ginormous stalker crush. but honestly its not full on crush territory (yet) because jamil refuses to talk to him and he hasn't interacted extensively with the other. however does think there is something going on with jamil avoiding him and relentlessly pursues him in response

scarab -> léopard: scarab just instinctively works better with léopard by his side. there's sort of an implicit trust between the both of them that the other is fully capable of whatever they set out to do which is. really nice. and they rely on each other in the heat of battle which is strange because scarab's ego means he often takes a lot of shit on himself under the idea that he's the only one who can do it. but also léopard is just an enigma to him because they'll work so well in battle but out of battle léopard's constant flirting gives scarab a headache... but it's also kind of flattering. in a way. because léopard is constantly Looking for him and shows a lot of interest in who he is as a person which doesn't happen a lot for scarab in his civilian form

léopard -> scarab: léopard is a mercenary which means that he's not partners with scarab. he just happens to "run into" the other "by coincidence" (not coincidence) and you know. he's so benevolent. why not help scarab out with the akuma. he is charmed by how much scarab is NOT like a hero. scarab thinks like a villain and is unafraid to use and manipulate others in order to accomplish his goals. but the end result is perceived as heroic of him. léopard wants him so bad for this it is fucking CRAZY he thinks scarab's capabilities and range are so attractive and will constantly make passes at him whenever they cross paths

jamil -> léopard: from jamil's experiences with léopard as scarab, jamil finds that léopard may actually be tolerable when he's not flirting constantly. jamil's still not keen on letting this guy save him from akumas (because jamil is scarab and by god if léopard ever finds out he saved scarab in civilian form he's going to be so full of himself) but he trusts léopard and is willing to let his snarkier side show, more than he usually does when he's jamil

léopard -> jamil: léopard is ecstatic at the fact that jamil is actually talking to him. yes it might take a whole other secret identity and a leather bodysuit to do so but. you know. a win is a win. uses his position as léopard to pry for more info from jamil, but it's always a push/pull back and forth where jamil seems to tolerate and even occasionally be amused by hus presence but will shut him down once he gets too close. his infatuation with the other in civilian form is fed by these small interactions he has with the other that shows there's more to jamil that meets the eye

azul -> scarab: azul is scarab's biggest supporter. naturally. praises the superhero's diligence and duty to the city loudly and vocally to anybody who will listen, and wants to get scarab involved in his future business ventures. may intentionally put himself in situations where the other will come save him so he can entrap the other into talking with him in civilian form to see if he can get any more clues into scarab's identity. also desperately tries to impress scarab when unable to transform with the skills he learned from being léopard.

scarab -> azul: scarab, drawing off his experiences as jamil, finds azul's persistence a little daunting and definitely a danger to his secret identity. however it's also odd to see a second side to azul pop out when he's trying to impress scarab. almost cute. if he didn't fail so much at it. gets scarab reconsidering his civilian form's thoughts on azul because azul somehow seems Less fake or. worse at being fake whenever jamil is scarab.

#twst #twisted wonderland #jamil viper #azul ashengrotto #jamiazu #azujami #jamil x azul #azul x jamil #ashenviper #jazul #heartscribbles #the public forum #sorry guys im like actually crazy #my friend said that léopard would trap jamil in a game of 20 questions while jamil is frantically trying to get away and transform #and i cant stop thinking about it #jamil liking azul more when he doesnt know its azul is so fucking funny to me #hes like ''ill never trust azul ashengrotto'' and then turns around to team up with literally just azul but in a leather mask and bodysuit #twst mlb au

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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 7 months

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My One-Year Anniversary

One year ago today, I wrote my very first piece of House of the Dragon fanfiction.

My journey in fanfiction has been a long one. I started reading fan works all the way back in 2009 at the age of 12. I even remember the site: Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive. Wow. Wild! Of course, I naturally gravitated toward Dramione works—because that’s what you did, right? Since then, my tastes have diversified; evolved, even. Thank god.

Until I hopped onto Tumblr and started writing, I wasn’t an active member of any fan community. I was a passive lurker, hiding my enjoyment of fan works from everyone and everything. One of my favourite fandoms to read for was Game of Thrones; I particularly enjoyed the Jonsa works and any work where Daenerys claimed the Iron Throne (#JusticeForDany!). I will say that, as much as I enjoyed it, there were no characters who truly ignited my interest.

Then, House of the Dragon hit. Matt Smith’s portrayal of Daemon is just… electric. I suppose my very first thank-you is to him for bringing the character to our screens. Holy shit. Toxic, passionate, magnetic… everything I want in a fictional man! Daemon Targaryen definitely awoke something in me. I spent about a month trawling the Tumblr and AO3 feeds for Daemon x OC/ Reader works, seeking to satisfy my thirst. Daemyra is such a charismatic pairing in canon, but I could never really see myself in Rhaenyra’s shoes; she’s so forward in a way I’m not. So many of the works at that time were centred on badass powerful OCs, and I just… couldn’t relate. Thus,I officially opened my AO3 account and started a side-blog on Tumblr, posting my first work.

It was a smut piece between Daemon and a Reader-insert niece, and one of my first genuine attempts at writing smut - what is now today the second chapter of dōnus riñus (sweet girl) - and was surprised to receive positive feedback from it, given the um, dodgy themes. It spurred me to go back and write a chapter leading up to it, and then write another three chapters post-chapter 2. Then, people wanted to know how Reader and Daemon got together; I wrote gevivys (beauty) from his perspective in an absolute flurry of insanity, pushing out like a chapter a day. It all blew up - I never expected it to, and it is still incredibly surprising to me that people are wanting to read a protracted series about the shit I make these characters do! From there, ilībītsos (little slut) was underway, which was such a fun exercise in dirtybadwrong that I thoroughly enjoyed! Pretty much straight away, I continued on with ñuhus prumȳs (my heart), which I might say is my favourite instalment of the bunch due to the sheer amount of research I put into it. I'm particularly proud of that one, I must say!

Of course, this makes it sound quick. It wasn't - I have quite a busy personal life with my work, so I've not been the quickest at updating. I'm eternally fucking grateful to have an audience that completely doesn't care how often I update, so long as I'm proud of what I'm putting out at the end; I know how rare that is, and I'm absolutely boggled by you all. My squishies. I love you!

Reader has become Babey now - she has her own, like, following? IDK. It's insane to me. She doesn't even have a name, and yet there are so many people who have reached out to me to thirst over her or to talk about her or to share what she means to them. A lot of people have really resonated with the way she struggles with powerlessness and how, in some ways, she's learned to find strength for herself in a world that gives her so little opportunity to do so. I'm so incredibly glad she is a character that people can relate to. She's like my baby, my first genuine creation, and it is a privilege and honour to get to talk about her on here. I still cannot believe there are people out there willing to make art or edits or just send in asks about her. It's completely wild!

I have endless gratitude for so many people throughout the creation of this series, but we must all begin (and end) somewhere. I’d like to start by thanking my first ‘regular’, Wilma, for her enthusiasm and engagement with me as I first started on this journey. She definitely encouraged me to keep on writing. It was thrilling to wake up to another comment or ask from her about the series! If not for Wilma, I don’t think the series would’ve gotten off the ground as it has.

Thank you to my very first friend in fandom. I’ve only ever known this person as ‘Lemon’—they reached out to me when I was well and truly established during the writing of ilībītsos (little slut), helping me to conceptualise the idea for the third chapter of that instalment. They then jumped aboard as a writer, and so much of my earlier drive to write was inspired by them. If not for their messages and their companionship, I wouldn’t have begun to build the community I have now. They are still one of my fandom besties, and I love them dearly.

There are several important people I’d like to thank for being absolute superstars, and whose passion for fandom has impacted mine so greatly. Aubrey, Pancake, AQ—I’ve adored each and every comment you’ve left me, and it’s been such an incredible experience to get to know you all as people. Mage, Hannah—y’all are amazing writers and amazing human beings, and I’m so grateful to have gotten to know you. Bel, Fae, Mars, Mel, Rach—you’re groovy, and hanging out with you in Discord is the bomb-dot-com. If I'm leaving people out, my bad!

I would be remiss, of course, if I didn’t mention one particular person. We connected through a mutual friend (at the time), and eventually bonded over our love of being incredibly nasty, feral and disgusting over our love of these Targ boys. Pretty sure we speak at least every single day, and I can’t say how many times I’ve relied on her for input on a chapter or a specific plot point I’m planning. Her approval means everything to me, and so I can’t possibly go without crediting her as a major influence on this story. Ange—Angela—thank you. You’ve become one of my best friends, fandom and IRL. I absolutely love you to bits.

And, lastly, I want to thank everyone who has read my works along the way. It is still insane to me that there are people who think my writing is interesting enough to keep reading, let alone offer the outpouring of support I’ve received. It is one of the greatest parts of my day to be able to connect with others over a universe I’ve crafted, and the fact that people genuinely want to know these things just stuns me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your encouragement means everything to me.

So, it's been one year. I'm still going, ahahaha! Here's to (hopefully) more years to come! I love you guys!

#em writes's one year anniversary

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devilsjacket · 1 year

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opinions/ headcannons on the idea of wilhelm with another boy that’s also really in the spotlight and like has famous parents or somethin? idk, you don’t have to do this, have a lovely day <3 🫶🏻

I love this idea anon! Thank you for taking the time to request and I hope you like it!

Wilhelm x famous!reader headcanons

warning(s): n/a

You were quite popular at Hillerska, your family was well known for their riches and snobbery however people were surprised that you weren’t the same

You were kind and respectful, not making fun of anyone lesser than you

Wille took a liking to you more so than August, someone you spoke regularly to, or well it was more like he bothered you as opposed to you willingly talking to him.

You were always interested in Wilhelm, you had seen him on tv and thought he was pretty alright

Wille was the one who had initiated your conversation whilst you two had breakfast

“Hi, I uh, I’m Wille” Wilhelm awkwardly smiled as he watched you play with your food, not looking interested in it. You looked at him brush some hair from his face and smiled “ah, I know, I’m Y/n”

The conversation went pretty smoothly and you both ended up talking about things you liked, Wille found out you liked to playing games, something he hasn’t done before

“You’ve not played video games?! Not even one?!” You stared at him as if he had just said something outrageous; blasphemous even. Wille just shrugged and shook his head.

That’s how you two ended up in your dorm playing call of duty for the last hour, accidentally missing rowing practice and earning a harsh scold from August

You and Wille only grew closer, sneaking off school grounds to wander around Bjärstad, an area you both never saw much of.

Girls came up to you two and you politely took a few pictures with them, they tried to get Wilhelm to do so as well but you said he wasn’t in the mood after noticing his nervousness. He thanked you for that.

When you two got back to Hillerska, sneaking in through the open window to your dorm that’s when you both could feel a tightness in your chests. It was weird but- a good weird you know? You had offered Wille to stay and hang out for longer which he accepted a little too quickly.

“Cool- uh the bed is a bit small but we could both fit if we-” you tilted your head whilst looking at your bed “if we squeeze together I guess” you shrugged kicking off your shoes and not seeing the redness of Wille’s face due to the dark.

It was a nice sleep you two had, both cuddling, warm skin touching and sending shocks through both of you. Wille had rested his head on your chest mumbling something incoherent before falling into a peaceful sleep.

When it was morning Wille was already awake, fingertips tracing the faint abs on your stomach that became more apparent when you exhaled, he got all embarrassed when he saw you smiling, eyes slowly opening and meeting the morning sun that peeked through the curtains.

“Morning” you whispered cringing as your breath met with your nose, you hated morning breath. Wilhelm smiled and propped himself up on his elbow “good morning”

You moved your head groaning lightly, yeah Wille’s morning breath was worse “god your breath stinks!” You half laughed as your nose wrinkled. Wille only hummed and as soon as your head turned back, blew into your face, his disgusting breath burning your nostrils.

You gaged and wrestled with him until you landed between his legs, hand over his mouth to prevent his breath from attacking you again.

Upon realising your position you both turned red and you slowly moved your hand, despite his horrible breath you felt like kissing Wilhelm, nose brushing against his when you leaned closer.

But before you could there was a knock at your door, it was Alexander letting you both know what the time was, you looked over your shoulder and yelled a thanks hearing his footsteps fade into the distance afterwards.

You rolled off Wille and watched him lean over to you for a kiss but you dodged making him confused “brush your teeth first then kiss me” you said smiling, he nodded and rushed to his own dorm as if he was in a mission.

You in the meantime got ready and brushed your own teeth, making sure it was minty fresh for when Wille came back.

You and Wille had sorted out your relationship after a long afternoon of making out and softly touching each others flushed skin. You decided upon taking things slow, keeping it under wraps until Wille was ready to go public

Now in a relationship you needed to shake off the girls that wouldn’t stop asking you out, they knew what their answer would be but they still tried and tired.

There were lots of perks to yours and Wille’s relationship, one being that due to your popularity you could understand where he was coming from with his anxiety and stuff.

You knew how to calm him down and comfort him in the way he wanted, physical touch was an important thing to Wilhelm so you knew holding him would help a lot

And if you ever got anxious due to all the popularity Wille would be more than happy to push those people away and hold your hand to keep you grounded, even in public.

A/n: Should I make a part two since there’s a lot more I can write on this!

#male reader #male y/n #x male reader #male reader smut #smut #male yn #prince wilhelm x male reader #wilhelm yr #young royals x male reader #young royals x reader #Wilhelm x male reader #prince wilhelm #young royals

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courtforshort15 · 2 years

Text

First Date Jitters

Part 1: Coffee Shop Woes

Part 3: Late Night Confessions

Pairing: Matt Murdock x AFAB Reader

Word Count: 5,400

Summary: Your first date with Matt Murdock goes just as well as you thought it would...which mostly means that you were a hot mess.

Trigger warning: idk, more second hand embarrassment than the first? Have fun.

Masterlist

You had spent several minutes getting ready while considering whether or not to wear heels on your first date.

It should have been an easy choice, given your clumsy nature. Flats were easy. Flats were reliable. Flats were stable.

But the heels had looked just so pretty. Red and sharp and a perfect shade to match the red of the lenses he wore. The contrast to the black of your dress offered a sleek look, and even though you knew he couldn’t see it, the ensemble made you feel just slightly more on par with the Greek God of a man taking you to dinner.

You should have worn the fucking flats.

The toe of your shoe caught on the raised crack in the sidewalk, and the momentum sent you flying forward. A hand suddenly wrapped itself around your arm, and it was the only thing that held you back from greeting the concrete with your face. Your hand flew out to latch on to the person’s other arm, desperate to regain your balance.

You glanced up at the person who had saved you from falling and your heart came to a screeching halt in your chest before it sped back up in a panic.

Fucking hell.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked in concern as he helped you right yourself, shifting to hold his cane under his arm so that he could grab both of yours. He gently pulled you up from where you’d all but crashed into his chest, kindly making sure you were settled back on your feet before he let you go. You cursed excessively under your breath, and the twitch of lips told you that he had heard you.

“I..uh, yeah. I’m okay,” you told him, your face heating with sheer embarrassment, even as your mind vaguely wondered how the hell a blind man had just managed to grab ahold of your arm before you careened to the sidewalk in a flurry of red heels and f-bombs. You yanked your purse back up your shoulder from where it had slipped to the crook of your elbow with the force of the fall. “Thanks for…not letting me slam my face onto the ground. This is humiliating enough as it is.”

Matt laughed. Apparently you losing your dignity before the date had even started was more than enough of a greeting, and he moved quickly past the need for a hello. “I really didn’t want our first date to start or end in an emergency room visit.”

You grimaced, a self-depreciating grin settling across your face as you subtly made sure your tits hadn’t spilled out the v-neck of the dress you were wearing. He might not be able to see it, but someone else could, and you didn’t need to be giving anyone a free show tonight. “We still might end up there if these heels have anything to say about it.”

Matt took a small step back, considering you in a way that was uniquely him, and you found yourself squirming under his attention. The red lenses of his glasses glinted in the setting sun that peaked through the crack between two buildings across the street. “New shoes?”

“I mean, I’ve had them for a while, just haven’t worn them yet,” you told him, willing your heart to calm down from your near death experience and the feel of his hands on your arms. “Heels are not my friend, apparently.”

“I can’t imagine they’re very fun to walk in,” he replied, and the tone was a mix between teasing and sympathy. You watched as he removed his cane from underneath his arm and folded it up.

“They’re not,” you admitted with a quick laugh as you ran your fingers through your hair. “But they make my ass look great.” A surprised smile abruptly bloomed across his face, and your eyes widened when you realized what had slipped out of your mouth.

This date was clearly off to a great start.

You wondered briefly if your job had any positions open outside of New York.

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Matt told you, a positively wicked smile on his lips. “But maybe one day you’ll let me use my hands so I can form a better picture in my head.” Your jaw dropped, and an audible squeak left your throat before you could control the noise. Matt continued to grin at you, no doubt enjoying your embarrassment.

“I, uh…I don’t know what to say to that.” You shifted on your feet while trying to ignore the unexpected heat that had suddenly flown through you at the comment. This man clearly had a knack for saying the last thing you expected him to, and your reactions seemed to be exactly what he was aiming for if the way he teased you was anything to go by.

Sure enough, the grin on his face morphed into a sly smirk. “You don’t have to say anything. I just like knowing that you’re thinking about it now.”

He was trying to kill you.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, willing your breathing to return to normal. “Do you, uh…do you realize that we haven’t even said hello to each other yet? Isn’t it a bit early to talk about you potentially feeling me up?”

“I mean, you’re the one who brought your ass into the conversation,” he shrugged innocently, and you found yourself unable to glance away from his handsome face despite the way he was determined to cause you heart failure. “If I say hello, do we get to continue talking about it?”

“Yeah…no.”

“Worth a shot,” he said breezily, seeming unconcerned. “Let me know if that changes.”

Someone opened the door to the restaurant as they exited, and you quickly took the opportunity to avoid responding by grabbing the door handle so the two of you could step inside. He laughed behind you, apparently delighted by your silence and taking it as a sign that you were indeed thinking about his hands on your ass.

Which…you were. You’d been thinking about his hands on you since the second you saw him all those Tuesdays ago, if you were being honest with yourself.

But he didn’t need to know that.

Matt took your elbow as you led him into the restaurant, and you were grateful that he didn’t comment on the slight tremble in your arm, or the way your skin heated at his touch. You watched as the host greeted him by name with a smile, and you recalled Matt mentioning that this was one of his favorite restaurants.

It was a cute little place, and charming in its own way. The lighting was low, crisp white tablecloths contrasting with black cloth napkins sat on the tables, smooth jazz played softly through the speakers throughout the restaurant. It was intimate, but unassuming.

The setting was perfect for a first date.

…or the perfect setting to embarrass yourself beyond repair. Only time would tell.

The two of you were brought to a table in the back, where Matt somehow seamlessly managed to pull your seat out for you before slipping into his own on the other side of the table. You settled in as the host handed you a menu, eyeing him curiously as he handed Matt one that appeared to be blank. You realized quickly that it was actually in braille.

The thought made you briefly smile to yourself, before it turned into a small frown. You doubted most restaurants carried braille menus in New York City.

“You seem nervous.” Matt’s voice snapped you abruptly out of your head. He had opened his menu and placed it on the table, turning his full focus back onto you. The tint of his glasses flickered, looking more black than red in the dimmed lighting of the room.

You swallowed dryly. “I am nervous,” you admitted as you played with the hair tie you’d accidentally left around your wrist. You glanced up as a waiter placed glasses of water in front of you both before quietly telling you she'd be right back. You smiled at her in thanks before turning back to the conversation.

“Any specific reason why?” He asked, and his voice sounded curious as he tilted his head. He took a large sip of his water, and you tried to ignore the way his mouth curled around the lip of the glass.

“Not really?” It was more of a question than an answer, and your voice was a little higher than it normally was, mostly due to the dirty rotten lie that had spilled from your lips. You knew exactly what was making you nervous.

The man you'd fantasized about for months was sitting across from you, dressed in black pants and a long-sleeved button-up shirt, and the sight was currently sending you into overdrive. The image of just his forearms alone was maybe kinda sorta probably going into your spank bank for use at a later time.

If this date turned out to be a disaster on your end, which was extremely likely due to your questionable social skills, then at least you’d get something out of it. A close-up look at the arms you’d been eyeing for months was still a great consolation prize.

If he did, perhaps, decide to get up and leave in the middle of your date, maybe you’d still be lucky enough to get a decent glimpse of his ass as he walked away.

Are you there, God? It’s me, Thirsty.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” he said dryly as he unknowingly pulled you out of your fantasy.

“It really has more to do with me,” you rushed to get out, trying and failing to not be distracted by the not-so innocent thoughts going through your head. God, you were a mess. “I promise it has nothing to do with you.”

“Am I getting the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech already?” Matt teased you, a grin on his lips. "Can't we at least make it through dinner? I'm starving."

The flames that had died down in your cheeks only ten minutes ago were back and burning again with a vengeance. You assumed at this point that blushing and stuttering was going to forever be your default with this man. “I am so incredibly sorry, Matt. I’m not good at this.”

“You’re not good at going on a date with a blind man?”

Horror washed over you as you gaped at him like a fish, hoping he didn’t actually think you had meant it that way. “God, no! Not good at going on a date in general!” The words began pouring out of your mouth, unchallenged by your suddenly absent word-to-mouth filter. “I haven’t been on a date in two years. That’s two years without any male attention and as a result, I suck at this. Like truly, I apparently have no idea how to talk to a man I'm attracted to. Let's not even bring up how long it's been since I had sex, cause that number is even worse." Christ, someone help you shut up. "It really has nothing to do with you! You’re great. I mean, I don’t really know you yet. But you seem great. I’ve enjoyed talking with you on the phone. You’re super sweet, even though I'm pretty sure you're trying to kill me through embarrassment alone. And I definitely like looking at you. You’re nice to look at, like super nice to look at, not that you’d know, I guess. Trust me, you seriously lucked out on the gene pool. Do you work out? Because let me tell you, it's working for me. And–”

Matt snorted, and the sound was so sharp it effectively cut you off. The look on his face was one that said he was five seconds away from cracking up, but was trying desperately to refrain.

Even the woman seated at the table next to you stifled a laugh, though her companion next to her didn't bother trying to hide his.

You felt a cold bucket of water pour down your spine as you froze, and your mouth parted in absolute distress as the realization of what your rambling mouth had said kicked in with a bang. “I think I should stop talking now. I think maybe I shouldn't talk the rest of the night, actually.”

“No, please continue,” he grinned, and the look was downright gleeful. “This is the best entertainment I’ve had in years.”

You groaned as you leaned forward to bury your head in your hands. “Well, I guess you’re getting dinner and a show tonight,” you mumbled, and apparently you didn't say it quietly enough because he laughed again.

“Lucky me, then.”

You sent him a pained look, not that he noticed. The woman next to you did, though, and she had to bury her laugh into her fist. Excellent. “I’m fairly certain you’re going to regret this date by the end of it, so I’d hold off on counting yourself lucky.”

“Actually, I’m already thinking about how I’m going to convince you to go on a second one, if nothing else than to hear you tell me how my fitness plan is really working for you.”

It effectively shut you up again for a full fifteen seconds.

The waiter came back around to take your drink orders, and you couldn’t have been more grateful for the interruption. You ordered a drink, Matt ordered his own, and then she left, leaving the two of you alone again. Alcohol was probably not the greatest option, given your current inability to shut your mouth as it was, but your nerves were absolutely fried and you were hoping it would settle you.

Besides, things couldn’t possibly get worse, right? (Wrong, they did.)

“Did I scare you off?” He asked, apparently amused when you didn’t say anything as the woman walked away. “I don’t think I’ve done anything that bad yet.”

You shook your head miserably. “You haven’t done anything that bad yet. Me, on the other hand…I feel like you’ve already gotten a crash course of how awkward I am in the full fifteen minutes we’ve been together tonight.” You reached for the glass of water sitting in front of you and took a large gulp.

“Brittany has already filled me in on your specific level and ability to make anything awkward," he tossed back at you with a shrug and a smirk. "So I’m not exactly surprised right now.”

You considered slamming your head on the table repeatedly. “I’m going to kill her.”

He barked out a laugh. “Maybe you shouldn't say something like that in front of a lawyer.”

“If I pay you five dollars, you can effectively become my lawyer, and then anything I do is covered by attorney-client privilege, right?”

He looked thoughtful for a second. “Well, technically, now that you’ve told me of your plans to commit a crime before I take you on as a client, I could get charged with conspiracy if I do not report it. It’s not something I’m willing to take the risk on.”

You gasped in mock horror. “Are you saying you wouldn’t go to jail for me?”

The smirk was back. “If you want to see me in handcuffs, all you have to do is ask, sweetheart.”

Your mouth snapped shut, a strangled noise bubbling up in the back of your throat. Matt threw his head back and laughed at the sound, no doubt keeping a running tally for how many times he had managed to shut you up tonight with just a sly comment.

You cleared your throat as the image of him handcuffed to your bed came to mind. Shifting in your seat, you tried to push down the brief flare of arousal that flooded your system. Across the table from you, Matt inhaled sharply, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think you’d heard a quiet groan escape his lips.

“Maybe we should…move away from the topic of any bedroom activities involving any type of restraints,” you told him, eyeing the way his cheeks had flushed lightly.

The wicked look on his face showed up again, even while his cheeks were tinted a light red. “Can we talk about bedroom activities that don’t involve restraints?”

You choked on your water and had to take a second to catch your breath. "Uh, no. We …we should probably avoid those, too. Wouldn’t want to, uh…wouldn't want to move things too fast."

"I see," he said with a twitch of his lips as he tilted his head to the side.

"No you don't." Without a single thought in your head, the words practically ripped themselves out of your mouth. Your jaw dropped in horror for what seemed like the tenth time that night.

Holy motherfucking shit.

Matt froze in his seat, eyebrows raising, looking as shocked as you were, before his smile widened, highlighting his laugh lines and the attractive wrinkles around his eyes.

Your face flamed a bright red that felt like it was downright blistering. The heat was foreshadowing your afterlife in hell, obviously. "I am so sorry, Matt. Oh my God, I can't believe I just said that." You mentally prepared for him to send you away with your tail between your legs, all dreams of riding off into the sunset with him crashing around you.

He snickered as you continued to cringe. "I'm starting to realize that you just tend to say whatever pops into your head."

The sharp sense of shame continued to wash over you as you fiddled with your napkin still sitting on the table. He wasn’t wrong, necessarily. You just usually had a better handle on it. "I'm…I'm not normally like this. I'm so sorry. I know it's not an excuse, I'm just incredibly–"

"Nervous."

You winced. "Yeah."

He was silent for a second. "I'm nervous, too, by the way," he finally said in a casual tone, relaxing into his seat, fingers tapping on the glass of water that had placed in front of him a few minutes ago. “It’s been a while for me, too.”

You shook your head as you looked at him, still finding it hard to believe a man like him would not have someone in his life. “Why’s that?”

Matt tilted his head. You were starting to think he did that when he was extremely focused on someone. “Maybe I was waiting for a pretty girl to awkwardly pine for me from afar.”

You gave him a flat look that was more for your benefit than his. “How would you even know I was pretty? I could be a troll for all you know.”

“It wouldn’t make a difference either way.”

You snorted. “Even so, I’m sure there are several women walking around Hell’s Kitchen with crushes on you.”

He shrugged, the fabric of shirt straining around his shoulders. You tried not to salivate at the image. “Maybe, but none of them have made me intrigued enough to want to learn more about them.”

“Except me?”

Matt looked oddly shy as he answered you. “Except you.”

—-

Besides a few additional snafus, the rest of the date went rather smoothly. Your mouth never failed to have your foot in it, though, and it was something he never failed to find hilarious. He told you that he was used to people who were calm and collected and cold, used to people who walked on eggshells around him, and that you were a breath of fresh air. He let you know, as he placed a gentle hand over yours from across the table, that he needed more laughter in his life, and that you seemed to be someone who could easily give it.

You tried, and failed, to not let those words go straight to your heart.

Touching moment aside, there were still moments like:

“Did you see the dessert that just went by? It looks delicious.”

“I think we’ve established that I can’t.”

“Oh. Right.”

And then:

“All I know about being a lawyer comes from Law and Order or Legally Blind.”

“....did you perhaps mean Legally Blonde?”

“Fuck.”

And later:

“Law school must have been tough.”

“Oh, definitely. And I thought that once I got in, things would get a little easier as I learned more and more. But it still remained pretty hard.”

“That’s what she said.”

“...do you want me to pretend you didn’t just make a “that’s what she said joke” on our first date?”

“Yup.”

And finally:

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to splash water on you. I can't always tell where I set down my drink. I hope you didn’t get too wet.”

“It’s a few months too late for that.”

“Is this something else you'd like me to forget you said?”

“That would be great.”

By the time you were leaving the restaurant, you were sure Matt thought you were absolutely nuts, but was being a good sport about it. You couldn’t remember a date where you’d ever embarrassed yourself so much, despite the fact that you’d genuinely had a good time.

“Are you going to let me walk you home?” He asked as you stepped out of the restaurant into the night air, his fingers once again wrapped around your elbow, cane held loosely in his other hand. The weather was warm enough that neither one of you needed a jacket, and your body was a ball of nerves at the feeling of his hand placed once again on your bare skin.

“You really don’t have to," you replied immediately, completely caught off guard by the question.

He paused, and for the first time since you’d seen him ever, a slight frown ran across his handsome face. He let go of you and took a step back, and you found yourself immediately mourning the contact. “Are you saying no because you’re worried about me getting home alright? Or are you saying no because you really just don’t want me to walk you home?”

You flushed, the spring air suddenly feeling like it was burning your skin. “Uh…”

Matt continued on as he fidgeted with his cane. “If it’s just because you’re worried that I’ll have an issue getting home, you really shouldn’t be concerned. I know how to make my way around the city just fine, so I’ll be okay. But if you just don’t want me to walk you home in general, then I understand completely. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I certainly don’t want to push you if you’re not…feeling this. Though I’m pretty sure you are.”

Your eyes flitted over his face as he spoke, noting the way his expression had turned to something a little more vulnerable than it had been all night. You took a deep breath, trying to settle the butterflies that were once again fluttering around in your stomach. “Matt, I would definitely be okay with you walking me home. I’m just…out of practice in the dating world. It’s been awhile and I don't know the rules for this anymore.”

He paused again, his face pensive. "There aren’t really rules when it comes to dating, I don't think. We should just do what feels right."

"And what feels right to you includes walking me home?" You asked almost hesitantly, but needing to know you were on the same page with what he was saying.

He didn't skip a beat. "It does, if you're okay with that."

"I…yeah. Yeah, I'm ok with that. I’m definitely okay with that."

His easy-going smile returned as if it had never left. “In that case, which direction do you live in?”

You looked up at the street sign that hung from the traffic light, trying to remember where exactly you were and which way you needed to turn. “I actually only live a few blocks from here, but I don’t want to make you go out of your way if you live in the other direction.”

“How about I worry about how I’ll get home, and you just let me hold your hand while we walk?”

Your heart stuttered, and there was something about the look on his face that almost made you believe he was aware of the effect he had on you.

A suddenly shy smile broke out across your face as you flushed and nodded. You quickly remembered he couldn't see your movement, so you spoke up instead. “That would be…really nice, actually.” The volume of your voice was quieter than it had been all night.

“Okay, then.” Matt took a slow step forward, almost as if he was nervous you were going to suddenly bolt. He held out his hand expectantly, and you placed yours in his without hesitation. His smile was soft, softer than you’d ever seen it before, as he ran his thumb briefly over the back of your hand. His fingers were calloused where yours were smooth, and he didn’t waste a second before lacing them together. “Which way?”

You took a left, pulling him with you, and the man fell into a leisurely pace beside you. By the time you made it to your apartment building, the space between you had lessened to just about a few inches, arms brushing against each other as you walked, his breath fanning gently over your face whenever he turned his head to say something.

It had felt more intimate than anything in your life, the ability to be as close to him as you were.

“This is me,” you whispered as you slowed to a stop. Still holding his hand, you turned your body so that you were no longer by his side, but rather facing him. He slowly echoed the movement and stepped closer, bringing you to the point where you could feel the heat of his body radiating against yours.

Slowly, as if not to startle you, he folded up his cane and bent down slightly to place it on the ground next to his feet. He stood back up, and the look on his face told you exactly what he was thinking, and your breath caught in your throat. His hand gently ran up your arm lightly before it slid in between your elbow and your body, coming to a resting point on your waist.

“If I asked to kiss you right now, would you let me?” The words were quiet as he lifted his other hand to brush his knuckles lightly down your cheek. A gentle rush of wind floated by you, causing your hair to blow lightly in his face. He reached out and caught a strand between his fingers.

“I think so.”

His grin widened. “You think so?”

“Maybe I’d just kiss you instead.”

His eyebrows raised in surprise. “Do it then,” he challenged, leaning his head down towards you.

Without thinking about it, emboldened by the alcohol still present in your system, you took that last step forward, pulled his face to yours, and kissed him.

The man you had spent so much time watching every Tuesday was completely eclipsed by the man pressed against you. The reality of Matthew Murdock was far greater than the idea of him, and you found yourself hoping he’d let you in to see every little piece, no matter how small or significant, that made him who he was, just so that you could find new reasons to adore him every day.

The way he smiled against your lips sealed the deal. There was no way you would ever survive this man.

He pulled away from you before you were ready, and the look he gave you was devastating. Breathlessly, you clung to him, eyes taking in every aspect of his face that you could at such a close distance, noticing for the first time how dark his eyes were under his lenses. You had a feeling that seeing his whole face without his glasses would be a look you’d never recover from.

Matt ran a hand briefly down your cheek before he slid it into your hair. “I have another question for you,” he whispered, and the words seemed slightly slurred, as if he was having just as a hard time recovering from the kiss as you were.

“Go for it,” you encouraged him, dropping one of your hands from his face to grab a fist full of his shirt. He used it as an opportunity to pull you closer.

“How many dates do we need to go on before I get to grab your ass? Because I’m still curious about the comment you–”

With a laugh, you shoved him away.

—

When you walked into the coffee shop Tuesday morning, Brittany was behind the counter making someone’s drink. You placed a quick order with the other employee at the register, before moving off to the side to where you would wait for your latte. When you caught her eye, she sent a knowing smile your way. “How was the date?”

Laughing, you heaved a large basket of artisan cheeses and crackers on to the counter, followed by a bottle of red wine. She hadn’t noticed them in your hands until they were right in front of her, and when she caught a glimpse of them, Brittany downright cackled.

“I take it that things went well?” she asked as she handed another patron their order before diving into the basket. It had cost you a fortune, but it was totally worth it.

“If by going well you mean “did you embarrass yourself thoroughly to the point you were considering fleeing the state,” then yes. It went really well.”

Brittany snickered, eyeing her expensive cheeses with glee. “How many times did you put your foot in your mouth?”

“Pretty much every opportunity I had.”

She placed the items she had pulled out back into the basket before she turned to finish making another coffee, giggling loudly at your expense. “You can't have been that bad.”

You looked at her with a flat expression on your face. "You've known me for a year now. What do you think?"

She giggled again as she took in the look on your face. “Okay, I’m guessing you were that bad. How many sexual innuendos did you make?”

“All of them.”

“Intentionally? Like in a flirty sort of way?”

“Unintentionally. Like in a “holy shit this girl must secretly be a twelve year old boy” kind of way.”

Brittany threw her head back and laughed while you glowered at her amusement in your pain. “Well, it must have gone well enough that he wants to see you again.”

“How would you know that?” you asked, curiosity spiking, smiling gratefully when she handed you two drinks, one of which was your latte, another that had Matt written on it. “We literally just made plans last night to go out later this week.”

“He came in yesterday and told me he was going to ask you out again,” she shrugged. Brittany handed another patron their coffee, thanking them as they handed her a five dollar tip. “Must have done something right because he also brought me a bottle of wine as a thank you.”

Your cheeks flushed, a large smile taking over your face despite how flushed you were. “I’m still confused as to why he wants to see me again. But I’m not going to question it too much. I'm just going to hang on for the ride.”

“I sure hope you do,” she said as she sent an exaggerated wink your way. She was clearly talking about a whole other type of ride than the one you had intended, and you couldn’t help yourself from snorting at the innuendo. "I hope you let me live vicariously through you. A man like that probably knows how to really fu–"

"Annnnnd we're done here," you cut her of, stepping aside from the counter as Brittany snickered. She suddenly received an influx of drink orders to fill, so you took it as a good time to let her focus on her job rather than tease you.

"Boo."

“But you can consider him off the market, Brittany. That man’s mine,” you tossed over your shoulder at her before making your way to the exit. The man in question had texted that he would be there in a few minutes, so you planned to meet him outside, away from the prying eyes of the barista who was content to make fun of you mercilessly.

“I still expect a child named after me!” She called out after you, causing a few patrons to look at her in alarm. You shot her your middle finger and stepped out the door.

A few blocks away, Matt smiled to himself, unable to keep it from beaming across his face as the words floated past him on his way to the coffee shop.

Yeah.

Yeah, he was yours.

#daredevil #matt murdock #human disaster matt murdock #marvel #matt murdock x afab reader #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock fem!reader #x reader #look you're just a mess in this #sorry not sorry #daredevil x reader #daredevil x fem reader #daredevil x you #matt murdock fanfiction #daredevil fanfiction

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prosocialbehavior · 3 months

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UNIT, self-preservation, and the Doctor

so UNIT is sus, right, we know this, they're getting too powerful for their own good and I feel like everyone is expecting them to get infiltrated or corrupted or something for a season finale plot twist in the near future. but lately I've been thinking about the weird and impossible position they're in.

so! you're in charge of the planet's main (only? idk what torchwood is up to these days) line of defense against alien attack, and your species has been adopted by a sort of alien trickster god.

this eccentric, erratic alien with apparently godlike power has decided to attach themself to you. The Doctor is benevolent and willing to sacrifice almost anything up to and including their own life for the good of the human race, but they're also unpredictable, unreliable, egotistical. you know what happened the last time a human authority crossed a moral line they decided was unforgivable:

so your organization is technically independent, but there are certain decisions you can't make, otherwise the Doctor might decide the weeds need trimming. you're in theory the highest military authority when it comes to alien conflicts, but if you decide to shoot those guys attacking you with your giant ray gun, there's every chance this guy could crawl out of the woodwork to burn your house down. you can't take any action without also taking the Doctor into consideration.

so what do you do?

maybe when they show up, you take them under your power. they're humanity's strongest asset and you need to make sure you have at least some measure of control over their actions.

but now that you've got them, how do you keep them from wandering off on a whim? how do you keep them inclined to work with you?

you formally grant them the power that is de facto already theirs. you rely on them, blatantly and obviously, making it clear that you need their help and their presence to have any hope of survival. you flatter their ego and encourage their attachment to you.

but in the end, it's been proven that nothing will keep the Doctor anywhere they don't want to be, and nothing will stay their hand when they've decided something needs to be destroyed for the greater good. so how do you make sure your organization stays on the safe side of that line? how do you sway the Doctor's judgment?

you employ their weak spot.

the people the your alien protector trusts, loves, has chosen, you bring them into the fold, and so you bring yourself into their fold. the Doctor can't attack you without attacking them, and their trust will rub off on you and your organization. you find what they value most in the world and keep it close.

so you end up with this defense organization which is semi-independent, but also built up totally around this one individual.

the Doctor is the most passionate defender you could hope for, but they also cut off your own ability to defend yourself. a good amount of your defense protocols center around hoping this guy happens to turn up. you HAVE to rely on their support, and you also have to fawn, flatter, and appease them if you want your organization to go on existing. if you want to get away with anything they might seriously disapprove of, your only option is to dazzle and flatter them, collect their friends, and hope they won't look close enough to find your secrets.

I'm not saying Kate Lethbridge-Stewart is some kind of Machiavelli spending all her time finding ways to manipulate the Doctor. but I am saying that UNIT probably has a protocol somewhere saying that in times of absolute crisis, if the Doctor shows up, the first thing you should do is dangle candy in front of their face by means of having someone they like give them a great big hug.

#doctor who #kate lethbridge stewart #the doctor #doctor who unit #unit #dw #talk #I haven't yet reached the 3rd doctor in my classic who watch so I might have more thoughts on this once I actually get to the start of UNIT #also there's probably more recent stuff I'm missing. for example I haven't watched Spyfall recently and I'm sure theres some relevant stuff #in there #but my point is. kate and UNIT are kind of between a rock and a hard place here #humanity has lowkey been taken over. by the guy who keeps other guys from taking over humanity. wtf do you do with that in kate's position

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twelvemonkeyswere · 7 months

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the classic character inversion trope in Crowley and Aziraphale is that the demon is the nice one and the angel is the mean one. neither of them is actually stupid, but they are canonically incompetent at their jobs. this is not necessarily a bad thing, for us, considering what the job is. Crowley fails by caring about others above orders and Aziraphale fails by not following strict orders because he actually cares enough to question them.

this is also not good for them because they are creatures who are expected to obey. even Crowley, who by virtue of being a demon means he disobeyed god, is expected to stick to a narrow path of behavior and values in service of hell. angels are expected to be obedient to god, but only an asshole obeys rules without caring how following them affects others. this is why the higher ups are so horrible. Aziraphale hasn't remained an angel for 6000 years without being able to at least play by those rules well enough, so this is one of the reasons he is the mean one of the two.

now, what this means on a practical level is that neither of them is actually free. Aziraphale has explained several times that the only ones who properly get to choose are humans. that's what free will entails, and angels and demons do not have free will. Crowley and Aziraphale figured out a plan to stay away from heaven and hell for a while at the end of season 1 out of need. they had gone completely rogue against their respective higher ups, both for selfish and selfless reasons, and they knew punishment was inevitable because they did the one thing they could never do: they made heaven and hell look bad. so, short of destroying themselves or finding a long-term solution (like dismantling heaven/hell, idk what any of this looks like), there is no escape for them, down the line.

for Crowley, what this means is that they must stay away from this mess as much as they can. this is what he did from day 1. he knows he can't change the way the universe is arranged, so he thinks what they need to do is to keep to themselves and stay as safe and free as possible. for Aziraphale, what this means is that whatever time they have together is finite, and their safety is never guaranteed. he also understands he can't change the way the universe is arranged, so he is willing to sacrifice freedom for safety if the position allows him to at least have some control of the terms in which they are free and safe.

there is also an interest on Aziraphale's part to stop the destruction of the world (the world where Crowley and he have built a life in, the world that allowed them to interact and fall in love with each other). from season 1 (and the book) we know Aziraphale first tried all the means at his disposal to stop armageddon before going straight to disobedience. he tried to fix the problem through logic. he still believed he could, somehow, change heaven's minds. he thought - regardless of Crowley clearly explaining it was futile - that he could even change god's mind. he thought all he needed was the time and the space to explain.

one thing I feel people often overlook about Aziraphale is that he is canonically intelligent. I suppose there might be a case here to argue that he is high intelligence while Crowley is high wisdom, but that is a little beside the point. what is more important to me is that the book goes on to be explicit that angels are not particularly more intelligent than humans. angels simply have longer lives, more access to resources, and can gather knowledge humans never could in their restrained mortal existence. whenever Aziraphale is stupid, he is stupid the way intelligent humans are often stupid. Crowley told him so in season 1, when he wondered how someone as clever as Aziraphale could be so daft about their situation.

Aziraphale STILL operates with the idea there must be a way to play along with the rules that will lessen all the maladies of the ineffable plan. after all, he's been doing it for 6000 years to survive (overlooking the fact that at the very end, he won the argument with a technicality Crowley first pointed out to him, and armaggedon was stopped because a child loved his family and friends over divine power).

this also makes Aziraphale very mean, because he dismisses what Crowley tells him he knows, through experience, can't be done. Aziraphale thinks his alternatives are falling - which would be horrible - or, more likely, being destroyed - which would also be horrible. the only way he has, in his mind, to survive this is to be able to change the higher up's mind, just as he intended in season 1, or, when the opportunity is presented, to be a higher up himself, to have more sway in the decision making process.

we know, and Crowley knows, that this will not work out as he hopes it will. but he still feels like he has to try. stupid in a very human way, you could say, because by desperately seizing the only alternative he sees to save Crowley and the world, Aziraphale pushed Crowley away (and lost his most treasured worldly possessions). Crowley, who has been on both teams, understands far too well playing along with the rules will not yield the results any of them want. if you look like a duck and act like a duck and sound like a duck, you're just contributing to whatever heaven or hell wanted in the first place. Crowley has already been punished for asking questions and thus doesn't fear being rejected or unloved by moral institutions, he already experienced the worst consequences sans obliteration. he understands freedom is the only way they'll get to enjoy their lives and each other, but both disagree on a fundamental level how much freedom they can obtain and what that means for them in connection to the wider world.

as usual the answer will probably be a third secret option neither of them has considered yet, and my opinion is it will probably be attained or devised by humans, just like in the first book. maybe aided by Crowley and Aziraphale in the funniest and most indirect ways. but I feel like this is why their story together is so compelling: love is such a powerful force it dares divine creatures to challenge not just the preconceptions of who they are supposed to be, but the very creator of the universe, if necessary, in order to be free to express that love. there is no holier war than the one you fight to be yourself, and I'm personally very excited to see where it goes for them.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #I guess?#long post #crowley #aziraphale #my thoughts this afternoon #i needed to dump them somewhere so here they are #aziracrow #ineffable husbands

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sagau-my-beloved · 1 year

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Gotcha! Sorry about your inbox, you’re just really fun to talk to! Glad you like brainrots, though, because I’ve got it bad. (Sorry these are a bit long)

So you know the corrupted!Venti au? Where he’s been corrupted by the abyss order like Dvalin with all of the magenta color symbolism and whatnot? Big fan of that however the whole abyss corruption thing is just a little overplayed. I like to think that he was corrupted by the creator. Maybe like how you were talking about with people getting influenced by the creator’s emotions. Venti becomes consumed by the need to please his god, infected by their influence, their will. And it’s not like Dvalin in the sense that his autonomy was taken from against his will. No, Venti wants this, needs it. It clashes with his principles of freedom, but he needs to belong to the creator so bad it breaks him. And now there are no more principles, no ethics, no morals, there is only the creator and their will. He is no longer an individual, he belongs to the creator, he is but a vessel, an extension of their will. He does not answer to the wind, to freedom, his people, or to Celestia. He only answers to the creator. Maybe true freedom is being released from the burden of free will, his now twisted mind thinks. Maybe true freedom is never having the capacity for choice. For these thoughts he gets praised by the creator, just as he gets praised every time he’s obedient, further cementing the corruption in his mind.

Idk do you ever just love a character so much you just wanna *clenches fist* break them?

And also I like the idea of sagau with a corrupt creator. I mean, put in the position as supreme authority with nations and literal gods at your beck and call would get to anyone’s head eventually. Sadistic, controlling, narcissistic creator is what you’d get out of that. But how would Venti factor into this? Would he submit to his role, choosing to continue in service and worship of his god? After all, who is he to question them? If anyone has a problem with the way creator rules Teyvat Venti would end them without hesitation if only his god wills it. He is loved by them as long as he obeys, and as long as he is loved nothing else matters. Or maybe he sees this as the creator being in trouble? He needs to save them like he saved Dvalin from the abyss order. His disobedience will not go over well with his god, but he doesn’t care what they do to him. As long as he gets through to them, as long as he can bring his beloved back and they no longer have to suffer under the grip of those sadistic thoughts, nothing else matters. Or he might see saving as a lost cause? The creator is too far gone, their twisted nature is not some foreign curse, it’s a part of them now. The one he knew before is gone. The only thing he can do now is let them go. Creator may have changed, but for the person they once were, they don’t deserve to have to live like this, wrapped in these miserable thoughts for the rest of time. The best thing Venti can do now is put them out of their misery. He’ll never forgive himself, and he’ll never recover from the toll such an action had taken on him, but as long as his god is at peace now nothing else matters.

I find all the scenarios interesting (and all with good potential for angst 😈) I think my money’s on the first one, but I’d like a second opinion.

-🫧

No need to apologize it’s not like I really consider it a bad thing, I love interaction I just wish I had the ability to keep up with it—

I've seen artwork of that, but this actually inspired me to go look further into it, and it's actually a pretty cool concept ngl— but that could just be my obsession with corruption speaking

Corruption in the form of obsession is simply top tier, especially when it's a slow acting thing

It always starts subtle, Venti feeling less and less life-like whenever he's away from you, how his body feels almost as if it wasn't really his own. All the things he used to love so dearly, the places he would visit without a care towards where he was supposed to be, where he was wanted by others... That was freedom to him, and he thrived on it. But it all started to feel so dull when you weren't there with him, when he didn't have you to look to for guidance. All the minor actions he reveled in lost their meaning. The wine now tasted bland when you weren't also indulging in it, apples completely lost their flavor, almost as if they were nothing more than wet sand when not given to him by your hand, and even the most heartfelt music did little to elicit any sort of emotional response when it didn't come directly from you. The wind was still soft against his skin, gentle and obedient as it always had been, but now it only seemed to blow towards you, as if enticing him to follow it back to where his body and mind truly belonged.

That was how it started, and it only grew the longer he stayed away.

It was now as if he couldn't keep focus, mind jumping from one thing to the next, failing to grasp on to thoughts he had moments prior. It was all too much and too little at once. Faceless people that attempted to speak to him sounded little more than a collection of jumbled sounds. He knew those syllables, the individual letters rang out clearly in a way that should have formed something comprehensible, yet it took his mind minutes to string them together. You were the exception of course, you were always the exception. Your words cut through the deepest fog, easily slicing through the howling winds into the most intimate parts of him. It was simply blissful to hear you speak, your voice was everything after all, he longed for the clarity it brought.

The next to morph itself was his sense of touch, now he couldn't feel the wind at all. The grass beneath his feet, the feeling of rain on his skin, it was all numb and muted, as if his body really was only a vessel that housed something that simply couldn't interact with the world around him. At that point even touching other people hurt, a buzzing of electricity, an indescribable feeling of wrongness that came along every time someone even rested a hand on his shoulder. He could only let out a pained smile as his body screamed for him to distance himself when giving a simple handshake. And what did it matter anyway? It's not as if he cared about any of them. Your touch still felt divine, an indescribable wave of pleasure at how your fingertips brushed against his, that easily made up for all of it. The rain and wind mattered little when he felt so complete being the recipient of your kiss.

He didn't leave your side anymore, there simply wasn't any point. Your voice was all he needed, he could have survived on your touch alone.

Concepts mattered little to him now as well, choice and freedom meant nothing, not as you cooed over how cute he was being, refusing to take his eyes off you for even a second. Everything was always kind of blurry when he looked anywhere else anyway, so it was rare to see his big eyes gazing anywhere but up at you with nothing but complete devotion.

And oh he loved how you praised him, how you seemed so pleased as he mumbled prayers in your name, prayers that may have included some rather concerning things to other people— but what did other people matter? If you liked hearing him talk about how he was nothing more than an extension of you, how he had no other meaning outside of your wants, how his body and mind and soul were yours to break if it so pleased you... then he'd repeat it as frequently as you'd allow.

Venti was lost without your attention, less than alive if you didn't acknowledge him. You alone were the source of any and all pleasant feelings, to be without you was no different than simply not existing. Anything that kept you from him would be delt with swiftly and without regret, it's not as if he could differentiate people from monsters from any other form of life anymore, it was all the same and it was all worthless. If someone making pleasant conversation was the reason for your hand leaving his skin, sapping the warmth from his body, then that unidentifiable thing should simply be eliminated. If your face ever fell in someone's presence, if Venti ever felt even the most minuscule of negative emotions come from you, then the one who caused them would be indiscriminately flung into the nearest ocean by his hand and the power you so graciously allowed him to keep.

He never wasted his words on others now, any sound that left his mouth was forever and always directed at you, for your ears alone. Only you get to indulge in his singing and the poetry he speaks in your name, his words are now a prayer made for no other.

Even his name starts to lose meaning, he isn't Barbatos the Anemo Archon, that title and the status it represents brings only confusion. He's your Venti, your most beloved, your devoted worshipper, your perfect and obedient pet who lives for the sole purpose of pleasing you in every way you'll allow.

You have a God so dependent on you that he wouldn't so much as breath if you didn't give him direct permission, the air in his lungs was yours after all, you were simply mercifully letting him borrow it.

Oh how this cute Archon would reduce the world, himself included, into a most divine nothingness for your hand alone to morph. You were eternal and you were holy and he was yours.

Anyway moving on, I don't think it's possible to have corrupt Venti without corrupt creator, I mean there's no way you can be an upstanding pillar of morals with that happening to him over there

But I think with the corrupt creator concept the most realistic option that would happen would be the second one, where Venti feels it's his responsibility to save you from whatever’s 'possessing' you, and I feel like that could end in two possible ways

The first and boring option is he successfully gets through to you, y'all go live a happy life together maybe outside of the spotlight, the end roll credits

The other way is, well, he basically starts getting corrupted himself, and we have the first situation all over again

But I don't think, no matter what, he would ever resort to the third option, he would continue to try to get through to you until he no longer can cause of getting corrupted himself

Now I think a really good angst option that incorporates a bit of that concept along with the third option that I feel he would never resort to, would be one of his means of trying to get through to you causes some sort of unexpected reaction that ends up fatally wounding/killing you, now that would be fun to expand on because 99℅ of him would be completely horrified, like I cannot express the level of horrified I'm talking about, but there's that small portion that would sort of be grateful over the fact that they are probably now in peace, and then he resents himself for feeling that at all

Angst and corruption man 😎✌

#genshin impact #genshin venti #venti x reader #sagau #genshin x reader #yandere genshin au #yandere genshin x reader #brainrot #🫧 anon #corrupted venti #ahh corruption my beloved <3

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whentherewerebicycles · 5 days

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mmkay i'm almost done with ina may's guide to childbirth, which i thought i wasn't gonna read bc too crunchy for me... but it turns out i am a little bit susceptible to crunchy content lol. i want to do some THINKING ALOUD about BIRTH under the cut.

after doing lots of reading (not just this book lol) i think i want to try for an unmedicated birth with minimal interventions. "try" being the key word because i also want to keep things very flexible and be able to respond to what i'm feeling in the moment. it seems like one of the surest ways to be disappointed or lightly traumatized by your birth experience is to go in with a rigid or overly idealized plan and then feel blindsided when things go sideways and you have to suddenly deviate from the version of birth you'd been really invested in. i am totally willing to get an epidural if i find contractions unbearable or to have an emergency c-section if it becomes medically necessary or to be induced if i am way overdue. but i also feel like... idk. i am not someone who takes a lot of pride in my Ability to Weather Pain or anything and i don't want to try unmedicated birth as way of Proving Something to myself or others. but i feel like, if i look into my heart, i kind of want to see what that experience is like and i want to see if i can use these different kinds of tools to reframe my understanding of what's happening to me in a way that feels empowering instead of "oh my god the worst thing imaginable is being inflicted upon me."

i have some complicated feelings i want to untangle around this, but i think the core of it is that my pregnancy loss and surgery last summer really fucked with my head, and a big reason was because the process was so intensely medicalized, felt so out of my control, and was handled with a painful lack of sensitivity by several of the medical providers i interacted with. that experience would've been shitty enough on its own, but it also happened to come at the end of a highly medicalized conception process where i spent months having my body obsessively monitored and scanned and tested, and where i spent a ton of time stuck in a pretty dark place in my head feeling like my body was fucked up in some way and incapable of doing this thing i wanted it to do so badly. idk man it really messed with my head. and then when i got pregnant again, the first trimester was just this terrible haze of bloodwork and transvaginal ultrasounds and intense surges of dread/anxiety every time i had to go in for a new test or scan. i know that some of that was necessary! the IUI process was necessary, the surgery was necessary, the monitoring to make sure i didn't have another ectopic was necessary. but now i am 34 weeks into a healthy, low-risk pregnancy and i don't think there is any reason to believe that birth must be a highly medicalized experience for me. i feel this tentative but real desire to give my body a chance to at least try this thing that it may only get to do once. i also feel keenly interested in the emotional and intellectual work of preparing my mind/body for birth. i want to understand in detail what's going to happen to my body and i want to approach the experience itself from a place of curiosity rather than fear. i want to practice ways of reframing birth as a process that animals' bodies naturally know how to do rather than a pathological condition that needs to be intensely monitored and managed. i want to experiment with different tools for calming my body/mind. i also know that i want to be able to move around for the entire labor process! for some reason this is the thing i feel most absolutely sure about... like i'm MUCH iffier on the whole experiencing intense pain thing lol but i'm absolutely sure that i want to be able to change position, walk around, move, etc., for as long as possible.

i also feel like my SIL's experience was a little bit illuminating for me. she was SO terrified of giving birth, like crying and having panic attacks about it for weeks leading up to the event, and ended up having just about every medical intervention you can have short of an emergency c-section. all of those things were meant to ease her anxiety/make labor simpler and faster, but instead they just resulted in a really long, scary, kinda traumatic birth experience that really freaked me out. so like, idk, i may have to have the exact same cascade of interventions she did! i can't predict how it's going to go or how i'm going to feel. but i think that maybe just doing the work of preparing for an unmedicated birth will stand me in good stead even if i choose or am required to go a different direction. like i think if i can really do the work of understanding what's going to happen and respecting the intensity of that experience without fearing it, i will probably feel better about whatever happens even if i do decide to get an epidural or discover i have to have a c-section. idk if i've articulated that well but it's like... part of what was so traumatic about the pregnancy loss was just like, feeling like i had no options, no time to think about it, and no possible positive outcome, and also feeling very afraid and grief-stricken and overwhelmed by how fast everything happened. and in that case i really did not have that many options - like it was always going to end sadly and it was probably always going to end in surgery. but now i am facing a different situation where there are a whole range of positive outcomes before me and also a number of meaningful choices that i get to make for myself. and i want to make them. i want to choose to try one thing, and then if things change i want to choose to try something else, and i want to feel like i understand all the choices available to me and am making a decision for myself instead of wholly handing it over over to the doctors. idk. lots more to think about but! i think one good thing is that i was feeling quite scared of birth before doing all this reading, partly because my SIL's labor was kinda scary/intense to hear about from the outside, and now i am feeling quite excited about having this human experience because i have a better understanding of what the process actually entails and what i can do to manage my emotions around it. i think it will be uhh not Fun lol, but i think it will be meaningful and i am deeply curious about what it will be like to go through it. so! so.

(also fundamentally i just get to have my own ideas about what i want to try!!! i get to try something even if other people are like wow i would never make that choice. the things i am curious about do not have to be things anyone else is interested in or curious about!!)

#pregnancy tag

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