#idk yet. someone pls make decisions for me!

[too-deviant]

idk if you’d be comfortable writing this but I was wondering if you could whip up an Aphrodite!reader who’s fed up with her beauty. She stops attending school and stays the full term at camp which makes Luke confused. So she tells him about how random dudes would hit on her and be creepy at her school or something. She’d prolly join him with Kronos bc she wants to feel respected for once. Would be such an angsty but filled with femme rage although totally cool if you choose not to write this~ Just wanted to share it with someone 💛

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Aphrodite!Reader

Summary: Maybe you didn't want to be beautiful anymore.

Content: pretty angsty, brief mentions of male harassment but nothing explicit or triggering, again sorry for the wait i had w block pls forgive me. also not proofread sorry yall its been a rough week.

You were only faintly aware of the noise around you.

The chatter of the city was a mere buzz in the back of your head as you marched down the street. It amazed you, really, just how unbelievably dickish mortal boys could be. This one in particular; Mike Schwartz, a five foot something jock who sat on the bench at every game. He’d been a bother in your life since you started high school. Back then, you took the endless prospects as a compliment – you truly were your mother’s daughter. It was a boost to your weak teenage confidence. 

But as the years went by, the constant asking for your hand became an irritant. Especially when they couldn’t get the hint – at fourteen, turning down guys felt amazing, but when those same guys kept coming back for more, it made your eye twitch. Couldn’t they take the first no, tuck their tail between their legs and fuck off?

Apparently not. 

After four years of putting up with it, you were done. Storming out of the cafeteria, grabbing all your things, hailing a cab and getting the hell outta dodge. Maybe you should’ve stopped to think — called your dad, taken a few deep breaths. But the harder you thought about it, after trying not to for so many years, you came to the conclusion that you would’ve ended up here anyway. 

Here being the peak of HalfBlood Hill in the middle of September. It was only slightly unusual, because when you usually arrive at the start of summer you get to watch the crowds of arrivals setting up shop at camp. Now, however, it was fairly desolate. Less people, you knew. 

It was also a split second shock when you stepped across the border and felt the drastic change in weather. From the cool breeze of the autumn air to the warm summery spring that camp was in year-round. A shift that made you pause, but you kept on down the hill anyway. 

Chiron was waiting for you on the porch of the Big House, and without so much as a word, gestured for you to follow him inside. He was fairly understanding of your situation, but made you Iris Message your dad and tell him of your decision. He, too, was more glad you were safe than angry you ran off. 

“We can talk about this when you feel like talking.” He’d said. 

So you’d done it. Finally, you’d gotten yourself away from the hey hot stuffs and the you seeing anyone baby?s. You were back at camp, you were where you were most happy. 

But you weren’t happy. 

Being a year-rounder, you’d discovered, was a lot less busy than being a summer camper. You got more days off, longer breaks between activities. You found yourself spending more time in your own company; something you never really got to do before. Most of the time you were with your siblings, or your mortal friends, or you were being hounded by some frat boy and their friends.

It took a minute to get used to the loneliness, but you did. You explored camp, found places you hadn’t seen before. A cute clearing near a stream on the east side of the forest, or a Satyr sanctuary on the far end of the beach. You read more books, you trained a little harder, you perfected six new hairstyles on your little sister Elena and Annabeth from the Athena Cabin. 

And yet, you were still pissed off. 

“Why?” 

Luke Castellan was a name everyone knew in this little corner of Long Island. One of the oldest campers, head counsellor of the rowdiest cabin, token tour guide for the new kids. Oh, and the best swordsman camp had seen in, like, three centuries. He was cute, that much you’d heard all around your cabin. But you’d never really held a solid conversation with him until you became a year-rounder. The fewer people around, the more you run into him. 

You’d been practising a few neat tricks with a dagger when he spotted you. Said he was there to train himself for once and that you wouldn’t even notice he was there. You did, though. Especially when he took his shirt off twenty minutes in. 

You shared a water break, he asked you why you’d transferred to being a year rounder, and you indulge him in the story. He was super nice about it too, which made you angry. Was Luke the only nice guy on the planet? 

“But at least you’re happier now, right?” He’d said. You weren’t, you told him that much. He gave you this knowing look you’d never seen on him before, and asked Why?

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I love it here, I do. But I shouldn’t have to uproot my entire life and bring it here just to get some semblance of peace. I shouldn’t have to give up my education, my friends, my dad, just so I don’t have to get harassed every day. It’s not even like my mom gave me anything to help combat it, either. She just made me beautiful and told me to deal with the consequences! I mean,” You let out a weak chuckle, holding up the dagger you’d been toying with, “This was a birthday present from a friend in Cabin Six. Not even my mother, who is a warrior herself, could bother sending me a weapon. They really don’t give two shits about us, do they?” 

He’d parted his lips, eyes shining with something, and looked at you through his bottom lashes, “No. They don’t.”

You and Luke grew closer after that. A lot closer. By the time summer rolled around and the rest of the campers returned, you were inseparable. Many rumours spread but you two ignored them in favour of sneaking into that clearing you’d found and talking in whispers about your hatred for the gods. Who cared if they could hear you? Let them. 

It was Luke who had come up with the idea to steal the bolt. A quick job, in and out, and maybe then they’d listen to what you’d have to say. But they didn’t — they did exactly what they always did and risked the lives of two young demigods and a satyr just because they couldn’t be bothered doing it themselves. Selfish — that’s what they were. They didn’t care about anyone —

“ — but themselves!” You glared at Thalia, who stood before you atop Mount Tamalpais with her spear in your direction. “I mean, look at your dad. He didn’t care enough to stop the monsters from killing you, oh, but it’s okay because he turned you into a damn tree!”

“This isn’t the way!” Annabeth yelled from afar. Her hair was twisted in a style you’d taught her how to do that first year as a year-rounder. It broke your heart that she couldn’t see how right you and Luke were. 

“Curse them, Thalia.” You said plainly, holding up your dagger. Half mortal metal, half celestial bronze. A gift from Luke. “Curse your father and his children. His brothers. Curse them all like they deserve to be cursed! They deserve to be toppled.”

 You tilted your head, looking at them all. Luke and your army were heading steadily up the mountain. If you could convince them now, there wouldn’t need to be a battle. 

“Where are they now, huh?” You raised both your arms, “You’re fighting for your life against a titan on a mountain and the only god who came to help out was Artemis? And that’s just because she was here already.” You scoffed out a laugh, “You should thank us, really, for taking her. Had we not, you’d be dead already.” 

Annabeth watched. You were unrecognisable in that moment — your face streaked with dirt and blood, curled into a dark sneer that any of your siblings would berate you for because of the wrinkles you’d get. You didn’t seem to care all that much, though. Not when Thalia was lunging for you and attempting to pull you out of the rage you were in. Not when her spear and shield were no match for your measly dagger and you went toppling down the mountain. 

The next time any of them saw you was in Manhattan — after believing you to be dead for a year and a half, it came as a shock when you emerged from the crowd of monsters. Your hair was hacked short, and one of your legs had been replaced with a bronze prosthetic. You fought with a ruthlessness none of them had seen in you before, whether it be because you were on the losing side or because Luke had given his body to the Lord of Time before you had the chance to tell him you loved him. You were still angry, and even if you hated Kronos, you didn’t hate him nearly as much as you hated the gods. 

When Luke died, you were kneeled beside him. Your face was dirty, your hair was knotty, and there was a dent in your bronze leg. He lifted a hand to your face, “I’m sorry to have to say this, but…you’re sorta beautiful.”

“Sorta?”

He grinned, and then he died, and you were filled with such unbridled rage that you pushed yourself down to the ground of Manhattan and tore through Kronos’ army with fire in your eyes, not stopping until Apollo got rid of your sight and forced you to calm down. You didn’t know if you’d ever be calm, since the only person who ever understood you just died in your arms, but you dropped your dagger and stomped your way back up to Olympus like a bratty child anyway. 

Zeus didn’t punish you for what you did, but he did say he’d be keeping a firm eye on you. You joined the hunters, much to your mothers disdain, and didn’t ever allow yourself to look back.

#@lia’s works #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians

[anartistinahat]

When you think about it

Logan would be a crow not an owl if we are going to give logan am animal/bird

Owls are not any smater than any other bird but crows are one of the smartest animals, possibly the clossests to human intellegence too

Crows are actually great problem solvers, LIKE LOGAN WITH ANXIETY AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WE'VE SEEN IT TWICE TOO

Crows are great at using the tools and make their own tools, REMEMBER THE SECOND VIDEO ABOUT DEALING WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WHERE THOMAS USED A FEW TOOLS(music, coloring book and puzzles) TO HELP THOMAS

Crows are great decision makers, great communicators, have amazing reasoning skills, they can make rule guided decisions

ALL OF THESE WORK WELL WITH LOGAN AKA LOGIC AND CROWS ARE INCREDIBLY LOGICAL CREATURES TOO IM JUST SAYING

So what im saying is pleasepleasepleaseplease someone draw logan as crow or with crow motifs thatd be so cool omfg like im just saying it's be so awsome it would be so cool it would be the most incredible fanart of logan the world has ever seen (i will most likely end up making it myself BUT IM STILL THROWING IT OUT THERE)

(someone probably already talked or brought this idea up but i just had to get this off my chest alr?? Ppl probably stopped making him a owl too i think BUT STILL HUSH IT-)

So basically

Janus is a snake

Remus is a octupus

Patton is a frog

Virgil is a spider

Logan is definitly a crow

What is roman? (Idk if ppl gave roman any animal motifs yet so pls tell me any you guys think would work for roman)

#sanders sides #logan sanders #sanders sides logan #sanderssides #crows #ts logan #ts sanders sides #logan is a crow #art idea #idk if theres a tag for when we make these characters have animal motifs uh #animal motif #this is a headcanon #headcanon #sanders sides headcanon #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders

[squivulous]

My Podcast Masterlist

I have a long commute, giving me two hours a day to listen to podcasts. Here is my documentation of all the audio dramas I’ve consumed plus a little blurb. I just wanted to organize them in a list and also (selfishly) get recommendations if anyone would be so kind. Or maybe you’ll see something that’ll interest you. Enjoy!

Podcasts I’m Caught Up With

The Penumbra Podcast: I’ve made an animatic for this one. I’m down bad. This is the one that sucked me into this podcast world.

Malevolent: Arthur dating sim when??? Everyone wants him. Also it took me way too long to find out it was an actual play podcast.

Red Valley: Gordon fan all the way. Normally I do like the Sad Boy but Gordon is that type of dorky that makes me want to protect him.

Caravan: Interesting world and love a main character that makes questionable decisions. Everything is going to be fine :)

WOE.BEGONE: I’m obsessed. It happened slowly but now I think about it every day… And the music is so good! Mike Walters is cringefail, bbygurl, easy to manipulate, and saws his left arm off at the shoulder.

The Cellar Letters: Legit gets me spooked at times. Steve and Nate are good vibes. I’m sure glad nothing ever happens to them.

Harbor: Love that Sam being a malewife ruined his life.

Rifted: Aurora, another Sad Boy to add to my collection. Daniel should give him a kiss to make him feel better.

Heroics: Pls come back some day… I need more Josh. He’s in his slay era.

Second Fiddles: Max is owning being a bbygurl. Also there are a lot of poop jokes which is weird but I’ll look past it.

Hand in Glove: idk anything about baseball but these baseball players are smoochinggg.

Find Us Alive: Lancaster in booty jorts. It's canon. Don't look it up. I'm right. ALSO HE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM PLS.

The Kingmaker Histories: The kiss is still the subject of much historical debate. Eisen <3

The Viridian Wild: It hasn’t been updated since 2021 but I still have hope.

Dos: After You: Ghosting GONE WRONG

Brimstone Valley Mall: SEASON TWO IS COMING. 90’s mall setting is really fun and I’m here for the thing Asmoraius and Trent have going on.

Levian: It starts off with a bang! Well not quite since his sister walks in oops. Excited to see where this pirate tale takes us.

Midnight Burger: Each episode is a delight and as someone who is bad at science, I appreciate Gloria and Caspar. Caspar pls stay forever and also Brodie <3

Return Home: I’m really listening to it for Buddy and DW.

Raythe Reign: Sometimes you need a yaoi.

The White Vault: At this point, I know what I’m getting into and yet still decide to get attached to these characters

The Amelia Project: Please don’t hurt the Interviewer! He’s too goofy for all this drama. I’m scared!

Fawx & Stallion: James Stallion being canonically hot in any situation is such a win

Victoriocity: Inspector Fleet has had a long week and needs some days off

Yokai Detective Agency: I’m always a sucker for detective stories and I’m looking forward to where this one is going

Desert Skies: Charming characters and love that the plot has a nice pace, not dragging things out

The Grotto: the music is so good but also please help. The emotional turmoil is torrential.

Camlann: Yo…. Dai, for real???

Podcasts I’ve Completed

Dash: This might not be completed? This is actually the first audio drama I finished. Classic noir but supernatural and boys are smooching!

The Two Princes: This was wholesome and had good vibes. I prefer the first season but it was still a fun time.

The Magnus Archives: Arrived late to the party on this one, but I love all the fanart. Awakened my interest in pathetic men.

EOS 10: I also am not 100% sure this is done but I enjoyed the shenanigans!

Wolf 359: Eiffel, my beloved. I liked the silly and dramatic parts of this story. It hurt my soul but it was worth it :)

Time:Bombs: noahdeaart's fanart made me think this was going in a different direction... Still a fun one!

Valence: Love this one WAAAAHHH! Pls listen. I love Nico. Sad Boy but hides it under their chaos energy.

The Bright Sessions: I would 1005% listen to a spin-off just about Mark. This Sad Boy keeps collecting trauma and I need to see him and Oliver maybe go on adventures or something. ANYTHING.

Roommates: I, too, had a pandemic college experience. It's kinda bizarre that there's already a story about that and I love it!

Look Up: Wholesome. Briggon Snow kept me fed.

Moonface: Appreciate having an audio drama from an Asian American perspective. Didn’t realize how much I needed that.

Murray Mysteries: Must protect Jonathan.

Kaleidotrope: More wholesome content. I got more into it by the second half. The hosts have a fun dynamic!

Re: Dracula: Still thinking about Inside You.

Wooden Overcoats: Rudyard is my fav. Chapman deserves the hate.

The Vanishing Act: this Rudyard wasn’t my fav. I was happy to listen to him suffer but also happy when he fell in love. A win for Griffson!

Greater Boston: Michael Tate <3

Ars Paradoxica: Nikhil Sharma <3

Podcasts I’m Catching Up On

Life with Althaar: I knew that plant lady was sus

The Night Post: Ashley……

Love and Luck: I’m on ep 87 now some magical things are going down

Going Lowbrow: I wasn’t expecting a musical but I’m not complaining.

SAYER: There are no bees on Typhon :)

WTNV: I got behind during high school and now I’m too scared to get caught up… one day. It's been so long at this point I think I'd need to start over.

BRASS: I fell behind on episodes :(

Not Quite Dead: If there are vampires, I'm automatically interested. Only a few eps in.

Hi Nay: I’m listening to Murphy respectfully.

Podcasts I’ve Dropped

Moonbase Theta Out

Dreamboy

Archive 81

The Sheridan Tapes

Jar of Rebuke

I’ll keep this updated every so often. Most of these I’ve found either from scouring rec lists or seeing nice fanart.

Please let me know of any recommendations you may have! Thanks for reading if you got this far. Mad respect.

Last updated: 04/14/24

#podcasts #podcast recs #audio drama #squiv speaks #I didn't know I listened to this many

[diaryujin]

𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃

summary: being part of a gang that murders isn't as badass and cool as those silly romance novels make it out to be. it involves questions, regrets and tough decisions, including ones related to your ex, jay.

genre: angst

includes: exes to (not so) lovers, inaccurate gang life pls bear with me i don't do illegal shit *sob*, murder, death, blood, curse words, guns, jay is mentioned as a nepo baby, mentions of (g)i-dle minnie and soyeon and le sserafim chaewon, quite some flashbacks, not that good ngl, not proofread, lmk if i missed anything

pairing: ex! gang member! jay x ex! gang member! fem! reader

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i apologize for 1. not updating 'diary entries filled with her' i've been busy writing this and i've been too drained to upload those :( i'll start with them again tomorrow and 2. if this isn't all that good idk why i wasted time writing this but oh well

“Y/N, your target is agent JJXNG. He’s an assassin like you who’s part of the team trying to track us down.” You focused on Minnie in front of you, the leader of the gang you were a part of. You were her most trusted assassin and the one she assigned the most difficult targets to. Sometimes, you didn’t understand what kept you in this job, but all your doubts would clear whenever you saw the stacks of cash as your monthly salary.

“JJXNG. How long has he been with the squad?”

“Two years. He’s a formidable force though — sneaky rat. He slips out from right under our noses.” “I see. Any specific date I should get him dead by?” “As soon as possible, honestly. I’ll tell Chaewon to set up a lead in one of our usual alleys.”

“What about alley 96?”

“Perfect. See, this is why I love you so much.”

She patted your shoulder, grinning a little. You chuckled, but it was weak. Seeing that, her face wore a look of concern.

“Are you okay with doing this though? I know you’re going through that break up…”

You shook your head.

“I’ll be fine. Can’t let emotions get in the way, right? Anyway, it’s not like this involves him.”

“I understand if not though. I’ll just ask Soyeon.”

“Seriously, I’ll do it.”

She tilted her head questioningly, and you nodded. She sighed before letting go of your shoulder.

“Alright then, I’ll call you once Chae is done. Take care of yourself until then, hm?”

“I will. Take care, Minnie.”

She smiled, and you reciprocated the gesture.

Upon reaching your apartment, you went into your room, looking for a change of clothes. Hands moving through your wardrobe, you froze as they landed on a certain hoodie.

Jay’s.

You must’ve mistaken it as one of your own when you were returning all his stuff. You ran your hands slowly over the fabric which was surprisingly still somewhat warm. He bought it in the USA, and it was rather expensive. You often stole it from him to the point where he just gave up and gifted it to you.

Unfolding it, you had an internal debate over whether you should wear it. In the end, you took off the clothes you were wearing and wore the hoodie and a pair of comfortable leggings. Why leave it to collect dust?

Soon, you were on your bed, lazing around as you scrolled on your Instagram feed. Your eyes were looking at posts, stories, and reels, but your brain processed nothing. 

Jay.

Homemade cooking.

As if on cue, your stomach grumbled.

You buried your face in your mattress, groaning. Hell, you missed the taste of his food, but worse — you missed him.

You were yet to reach the acceptance bit of the five stages of grief, and it was hindering all your thoughts. Looking back at your phone, you closed Instagram and opened your gallery.

A major part of getting over someone was deleting the more intimate pictures with and of them.

Fuck it, you didn’t.

How could you, when the man was way too fine to be real?

You were holding on to slivers of what you used to have, and you knew it was unhealthy, but who were you to care?

Scrolling through all the pictures, different memories played in your mind by a broken record. Smiley, hot, cute, straight from hell, meme-worthy, sculpted by Michelangelo, jawline sharp enough to cut through a watermelon, goofy, with a guitar — your photo album of him had all genres of Park Jongseong, even his darkest and deepest ones.

If everything was so perfect, what went wrong?

You reflected on your three-year relationship with him. Arguments were few and far between the two of you. You spent a lot of time with him, he spoiled you a lot (even though you told him not to), he treated you like a princess, and you reciprocated it as much as you could. Even with all your missions with the gang, everyone would call you both the perfect couple.

Your parents adored him — he was their ideal son-in-law — and you couldn’t help but smile as you remembered the shy look on his face as they explicitly told him that. His parents were friendly with you. Sure, they were a bit awkward and haughty, but you had seen worse.

All this got you wondering…

Where in the middle of this dreamy paradise did the devil find his home?

He wouldn’t have cheated. He was too good-hearted for that…or at least you hoped.

You did a little digging after you both ended things, but (un)fortunately you had no evidence to support your claim, and couldn’t have any justified hard feelings towards him.

You had the events of that day burned in your memory — the day when the safe little bubble you lived in burst.

He was at your place, and you both were watching a movie together. Usually, you’d be cuddling with him, but that day, it was like he was doing his best not to let even an inch of his skin come in contact with yours. It hurt your feelings, sure, but you just brushed it off as him being on his man period.

A scene appeared on the screen where the main character and her love interest were having a cheesy date, and you turned to look at Jay, expecting a comment about how your relationship with him was better or a lovesick smile, or his lips puckering out in an awkwardly endearing manner, or- or- anything other than a blank stare and a frown. He noticed your gaze and his jaw tensed.

“Y/N…this-this- you and I…”

He took a deep breath.

“I can’t do us anymore.”

Your eyes widened, and your mouth opened and closed like a fish. Your hand reached for his instinctively, but he drew it back, showing that he wasn’t joking. 

“But- why? What’s-What’s going wrong? It’s nothing we…we can’t fix, you know- I’m sorry if I did anything, I’ll-I’ll change my ways, just please don’t-”

“It’s not your fault, okay? I just- my work is getting more time-consuming nowadays, and I don’t want to end up neglecting you in the process, Y/N. You deserve someone better.”

“I don’t need anyone else, Jay! You’re more than enough, you’re my everything! I don’t care if you have to spend less time with me, I understand and I’ll manage-”

“No Y/N, trust me. Plus…”

He looked away nervously, eyes staring at the paused screen as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Plus…?” “My parents disapprove.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

You couldn’t say anything against that. You knew how much Jay loved his parents, and you would never want to come between them.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish it wasn’t like this.”

“That’s okay. I know- how they mean the world to you.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, but-”

“It’s fine, really.”

He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “I wish you all the best in your future endeavors, Y/N. I’ll never forget you. I just can’t.”

“You too, Jay. Good luck with your work.”

And just like that, he left.

A month ago.

You wanted to scream. This was like the millionth time that you thought about that day.

You seriously had to get something better to do in your life. 

Suddenly, a call came on your phone. You looked at the ID, and as you expected, it was Minnie.

“Y/N? Hello.”

“Hey, Minnie. Something up?”

“They took the bait literally an hour after Chaewon set it up.”

There was a snicker of amusement from her end, and you grinned a little to yourself as well over how stupid the squad was.

“Damn, they’re confident.”

“I know! They didn’t even wait!”

“It’s dumb.”

“Mhm. Anyway, those bitches set up the meeting date as fuckin’ tomorrow. Wild, no?”

“Seriously? So soon? Kinda feeling bad for JJXNG, the poor guy most likely isn’t even prepared.”

“Fools, really. Deserved. You’re up for it, right?”

“Of course. Time?”

“11 p.m.”

“Alright, I’ll see you at the base at 10:30 p.m. tomorrow. That good?”

“That’s perfect. Alley 20, by the way.”

The alley was quiet, the streetlights providing just enough luminescence for you to notice the outline of a man slowly approaching you. You gripped the pistol in your hand tighter, setting your arm to the side so that the guy wouldn’t notice.

The soft but heavy sound of his footsteps was slightly muffled by the drizzle that left you a bit soaked. Drops of water trailed from your hair to your face, and you wiped them off with your free hand.

The man was now close enough to you. He wore a mask just like you did, but his was black with ‘JJXNG’ written on it in bold, red letters.

This guy was bloody stupid.

There was something familiar in his gaze, but you brushed it off as deja vu. He seemed to be sizing you up, so you did the same. You noticed that he had a gun too, so you moved yours further behind your back. Looking into his eyes, you saw that there was a bit of confusion swirling in them.

“Agent JJXNG? Hard to pronounce.”

You chuckled dryly, but his eyes widened.

“You’re…ENZ? Wait, but-”

Why…why was his voice so familiar? The guy had the same tone as…as someone who had been a vital part of your life until a month ago, and then became a permanent resident in your head.

“Y/N?”

You froze.

“How- How the fuck do you-”

The same surprise. The same shock. The same concern.

“Jongseong…?”

He lowered his mask at you saying his name, and you could see how his mouth was agape with shock. You did the same, although your lips were pursed together in a thin line. 

“I didn’t expect to be seeing you so soon.”

His hands fidgeted with his pistol, and you realized.

You were tasked to kill him.

He stood still for a moment, seemingly going through the same dilemma.

“So, Jongseong, this is the work that’s been so time-consuming, hm? Did your parents approve of this?”

He gritted his teeth, remembering how he said those things as a reason for breaking up with you.

“Look, Y/N-”

“I’m not about to get together with you right now.”

“I’m not that desperate.”

That hurt, and you had no idea why.

“Do you promise to never keep secrets from me, Jay?”

You held out your pinkie suddenly, catching him off guard. The poor boy was just trying to cook.

“All of a sudden?”

He chuckled, before instantly locking pinkies with you.

“I promise, only if you do the same, love.”

You smiled at him, before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

You shook your head, not wanting to remember unfulfilled promises right now. Suddenly, your eyes focused on the gun pointed directly at your forehead and you winced, mentally slapping yourself for losing focus.

“Didn’t think I’d be doing this ever in my life, but here we are.”

His tone was cold yet cocky, which was annoying as hell. You reciprocated the gesture calmly, and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Fuck. Should’ve seen that coming.”

He was in a pissy mood. You were in a pissy mood.

An irritated Jay plus an irritated you equaled disaster, which was why you usually avoided each other when both of you were emotionally heightened.

Unfortunately, circumstances didn’t allow that. You were at his house already mad, and you wanted to be with him to blow some steam off. He got some news from work that seriously angered him by the time you were there.

It started with you forgetting to wash the dishes once and ended up with the both of you having a screaming match in the living room. He complained that ‘you never cared about his feelings’ and you retorted by saying ‘he had extremely high standards’.

That was your first major argument, and it ended so badly that you didn’t contact each other for a week.

Why were you having all these flashbacks? You weren’t some anime protagonist. 

“Is this a race of who kills who first?”

“It’s always like that. I thought you had two years of experience under your Prada belt? Or are your targets handed to you on a silver platter as well?”

He scoffed at your remark. He never liked to be reminded that he was a nepo baby. He was always extremely humble and sweet, even if he occasionally didn’t understand seemingly normal things due to his upbringing.

But fuck it, to hell with him and his kindness.

“It just feels weird, since I’m killing you.”

Your grip on your pistol loosened.

“...yeah.”

His eyes were now filled with remorse as they softened.

“Frankly speaking, I don’t-don’t really know how I’ll go on- move on from this.”

He cared.

He still cared.

A week after that big fight, you had someone at your door — Jay.

When you saw him at your doorstep, all of your favorite snacks cooked by him in one hand and a necklace box in another, you didn’t know how to react.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.”

He genuinely looked like he was going to burst into tears. You hugged him tight, and he buried his head in your shoulder, sniffling a little.

“I forgive you. I’m sorry too.”

“I thought I lost you, love. Please- don’t leave me.”

“I won’t, Jay. I never will.”

The rest of the day was spent with you both cuddling, eating, and (re)watching your favorite movies amongst many kisses.

And that’s how you both made up after every fight.

You struggled to come to terms with the fact that the same guy you used to watch Lady and the Tramp with was now pointing a gun at your forehead.

In his defense, you were doing the same thing.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I’ll count to three, and we pull the trigger at the same time when I reach 0.”

You didn’t know how to feel about that suggestion — it made too many things real.

You were going to die.

He was going to die.

You’d be the reason he died.

He’d be the reason you died.

You didn’t want to continue living after this. You didn't want to live holding the huge guilt of having murdered the sweetest guy on the planet. At this point, you were struggling to hold back tears.

“Sure.”

You steadied your arm, and he copied your action.

“3…”

The first day you both met.

“2…”

The day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

“1…”

Life while dating him.

“0.”

The day you both broke up.

The loud bang of your gunshot echoed throughout the alley, the rain accentuating it. The sound overpowered the clang of his gun falling to the ground, and his soft words.

“Y/N…I can’t. I can’t kill you. I still love yo-”

You opened your eyes and froze.

How did you just do that?

He should’ve killed you, you were dea-

Your eyes fell upon Jay’s body in front of you.

There was a hole in his forehead, and blood was trickling out of it. His eyes were rolled to the back of his head, and you could only see the whites. There he lay, limp and lifeless.

And it was all your fault.

Then it hit you.

He didn’t shoot. 

He broke yet another promise.

You kneeled in front of him, letting yourself cry. You cradled him close just like how you used to whenever he had a bad day and you would comfort him.

“Jay…Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Why-Why didn’t you shoot?! Bastard, how do you want me to live now that you’re gone! You piece of- of absolute shit! I loved you, I love you and I will- simply continue to love you, and-and it’s going to hurt ‘cause you’re not here, damn it!”

You held him close, your salty tears mixing with his blood.

You couldn’t do it.

You couldn’t continue life knowing you were the reason he died.

You remained in that position, Jay’s body in your arms. Your warm hand gripped his cold one. It was weird how it still gave you comfort.

Your eyes darted around, before focusing on his gun in the pool of blood. You took it, deciding to finish his mission for him, not minding the red liquid staining your hand.

His gun was now on the side of your head.

“I love you, Park Jongseong.”

Another loud bang echoed in the alleyway.

#kpop fanfic #kpop #fluff #fem reader #K-pop x reader #kpop imagines #mallow's works #mallow's oneshots #enhypen #enhypen angst #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #kpop bg #heeseung fluff #gang au #angst #jay fluff #jay angst #jay enhypen #jay #jay x reader #exes to lovers #kinda

[koinotame]

\o/

hi! it's me, nana / koinotame!

if you're wondering why i went inactive and then deleted, my mental health kind of (really) tanked... and i ended up deleting my blog in a fit.

it's getting better bit by bit though! and i've been wanting to get back into writing (and talking abt my unhinged/yan ideas i can't really talk to anyone else abt), so. here i am! for now, at least

as for my previously posted writing, there's some good news and some bad news: the bad news is that everything i wrote directly into tumblr (99% of snippets, a lot of ask answers, most exact content warnings, etc) is gone. the slightly less bad news is that iirc there were very very few posts of mine that weren't reblogged by anyone at all, so they're probably still out there? feel free to send them my way if you find any and i'll rb them. @/midnight-remembrance also has reblogged a couple of them! there's a couple snippets i have saved in some places, so i might repost those on my own as i find them, but there's very few of those. the good news is that anything longer (proper writing — oneshots, hcs, yan alphabet responses and so on, prompt responses, etc) is safely backed up where i originally wrote it! some of it is also on my ao3, which is the same username. feel free to send me asks about any you'd like to see again and i'll repost them! i might not post them if i feel too embarrassed about/wish i hadn't posted them, and i might rewrite/heavily edit some of them, but i think there's only a handful that fall into the former category and none of them were particularly popular. either way, no harm in asking!

as for some other updates: i'm a little divided on whether i want to keep posting explicit nsfw or not so we'll see. i might just keep it out of main tags. idk yet. regardless of what decision i make, this blog is still strictly 18+ and that will not be changing. since we can reply from sideblogs now, this is a sideblog and not my main now. why? sometimes i prefer to check up on a blog frequently instead of following them for a couple of reasons, but this felt very awkward when they were following me. so this being a sideblog relieves a bit of that stress. if this makes it sound like i have severe brain worms, it's because i do. to that effect though, if we interact every so often feel free to consider us mutuals regardless of whether or not i'm actually following you =w=b tbh i.............. am not really into genshin anymore. i might post about it here and there but i just Do Not (really) Care about it anymore. scara aside to some degree i also have no clue what's going on post inazuma lol whatever projects or commitments to writing or etc i had made beforehand. i forgot all of them so just pretend that never happened ok? ok i'll also probably be posting more sparsely, but we'll see! and (this is obviously the most important bit) i have no clue where i put the mika edit so we're back to my og classic pfp. the header scales terribly and is temporary, please ignore that too

all that aside, as a treat for anyone who sees this in time,

*roughly 6/22 done, but fairly quick to write. roughly one paragraph per character (sneak peek line: "it's not too hard to be discreet with his unique magic when someone really deserves to fall face down a flight of stairs. or three. oopsie. odd they don't remember it, huh? well, he had nothing to do with that.") **more realistic isn't quite the right word(s)... probably won't post this one to the main tags regardless. won't be doing all of the characters (only important/relevant ones) and won't be writing more about/expanding on, so this one is just like. a one off experiment sort of thing. overall less violent than most takes on the au + leans a bit (or lot, depending on how you look at it) more on the religious aspect of self aware aus. i wrote a couple paragraphs a while ago, then rewrote them, but i'll only finish/post them if there's interest for it (sneak peek line: "aether has deluded himself and cast You aside entirely on his own—and when You finally grace them with Your real presence, zhongli is certain aether will be the first to fall from Your grace.")

i have one other new thing immediately ready for posting that'll get posted in a couple of days but that one's pretty silly

#koinotame #and hi to the three people that found this blog before i posted this o/ #long post #i ended up writing a lot. ehem. #<- the type to always have trouble getting essays down to the max word limit #if nobody ends up seeing this. well. it'll be here still when i post some actual writing #q

[thecoolerliauditore]

hater hour 👍

i feel like... maybe this is just me but ive been noticing this weird kind of disturbing trend of people being way overprotective of the CCs whilst increasingly aggressive towards their fellow fandom artists/writers.

We all love gem on here. i think it'd be preaching to the choir to say she didn't deserve the hate she got for. Existing in the series or whatever people were mad about. but more and more people seem to think that any negativity is Bad and Affects The CCs and when they list examples it's all like. idk. ppl not liking the SL mechanic or the watcher lore or certain gimmicks (zombie apocalypse comes to mind) etc etc

while we are not owed any level of quality for entertainment getting put out by mcyters For Free, this is still a series that means a lot to me and most of the fandom take it seriously. so it can be disappointing when it feels like decisions are made for the sake of rushing things or forcing something specific to happen. Limlife is my least favourite season by a pretty long margin because i think it was pretty apparent the cast were very burnt out during it and I would like for them to make the series at their own pace instead of doing that. I still loved limlife and think it's super funny i just think it was weighed down by a lot of things.

when secret life came to close i loved the ending but the fandom space. scared me a little and it still does kind of reek ngl. i saw blocks of text telling people to shut the fuck up about their favourite pairings or characters because How Dare they not appreciate every other person just as much Alot. and now im seeing people say we should "know our place" as fans and never voice our "entitled" discontent because the poor CCs are just doing this for fun. as someone who tries to dig deep on every individual character and relationship it just all felt a little bit. Violent.

This + ive been seeing a lot more people recently who are like. very very mad about the way people draw the CCs?? i know i do my fair share of hating on hybrid designs and being the fun police but like. people are genuinely out here accusing others of being Evil for not drawing specific body types to match characters to CCs while in the same breath saying that character/CC divide is obvious. +people being mad about like. arghh ear wings are dumb!! everyone who draws [specific headcanon] should be melted into wax!! so on and so forth

can we please stop assuming that tumblr user 69 saying lmao watcher lore dumb is going to give martyn inthelittlewood depression irl and start thinking about the mental health of more inexperienced artists who straight up Don't Know how to draw certain features yet that they're the scum of the earth for it in a space that's supposed to be fun.

if you're asking for people critiquing the series itself (one of the most popular mcyt series as a whole right now) to do it more gently and politely the least we can do is ask the same etiquette for talking about fanwork pls. that's also yknow. made for fun and shared for free 👍

#random thoughts #discourse #look im not gonna pretend im not extremely parasocial #i love bee dubs and his clear irl character development. #i love scar and his genuinely charming and heartwarming personality #i love ren and how theatrical he is and how vulnerable he lets himself be in his videos #scott seems like kind of a loser ngl but i love him anyway #but god if i had to choose between them and my fellow fandom ppl i'd choose my fandom ppl in a heartbeat. i actually care about those peopl #where's that post like. what's ur opinion on em cee why tee. they can all die idc. that.

[goosemagician]

so I was in a silly goofy mood and got the spontaneous inspiration to make yet another anti-hero playlist

I'm kinda hyperfixated on this au and idk why lmao

it might just be the fact that it takes all the sad about tpoh and wraps it up in a nice little ball

and then proceeds to punt it at your face and break your nose

I love emotional agony

anyway this one's sad now and sadly not as tailored to the content it's meant for 'cause all the depressing songs are either about heartbreak or self-hatred but at least self-hatred fits

anyway https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ytFKB5AUv4C53amQ7LOgZ

pls mention if I actually hit the nail on its head with any of these songs I would love to know

oh my GOODNESS AAAAALSDKFJLKSDJF

YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES

okay spewing thoughts below the cut here we go buckle in

"Marceline, is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world? That must me so confusing for a little girl," LITERALLY ONE OF THE FIRST SONGS I LISTENED TO WHEN THINKING OF THIS AU YOU KEEP READING MY MIND AAAAAAAA

"I need to save you, but who's going to save me?" RGB raised this child at the END OF A WORLD that he LOVED and now it's GONE AND DEAD and it MIGHT BE ALL HIS FAULT (at least he's convinced that's true) and he doesn't feel like he deserves Hero at ALL and he wants so badly to be there for her but this man NEEDS A SUPPORT SYSTEM SO BAD AAAA

"A sadness runs through him" is also a SUPERB sad RGB song. It's beautiful and elegant just like him but also so deeply heart-wrenchingly aching AAUUUGH

"Bird Song" SUCH a good Hero song. "Well I didn't tell anyone, but a bird flew by. Saw what I'd done he set up a nest outside." She holds so much guilt for the end of the world. She's constantly trying to stomp down all of her feelings because she believes, at least subconsciously, that having feelings that are anything but "good" and "pleasant" automatically make her a bad person, which she tries so hard not to be but, at the same time, tells herself that she is BECAUSE of this. She's ANGRY and SAD and DESPERATE but if she ignores it long enough, then maybe it'll go away--maybe she can learn to live with it and the way it drags her stomach to her toes or eats away at the light that once resided inside her.

We all know how that turns out ;)

"The Dark" by Ethan Jewell. oh BOY.

"She whispers in my ear why have you done this, and what have you done? Why couldn't you have made the right choice for once?" RGB and Hero are SUCH guilt ridden characters its INSANE. There's a particular argument in this story that's pretty much this line verbatim. RGB knows Hero isn't wrong for being upset that she was the one chosen to be "The Hero," and that's what hurts. He shouldn't have chosen her, but if he hadn't it would have just been someone else. He didn't know her when he chose her, but now he does, and he'll regret that decision the rest of his life, even if it allowed him the happiness of raising her and taking care of her and being by her side. She's been through so much because of that one choice he made, and RGB will have one hell of a time forgiving himself for that.

"It's hard to get out of a hole when they take away your rope." Hero WAS his rope, until she sacrificed her heart for him and was consumed by, well, Hate. "This can't be happening. No, this can't be real." The very person he's sworn to protect, the person who broke down his walls and taught him what it means to push forward when everything pulls you back, the person who made him take back every rule he'd ever made for himself, like "not getting attached," has been ripped from him and turned on him, spewing his own self-hatred right back at him from the mouth of his DAUGHTER. The daughter he doesn't deserve to have or to love as much as he does and yet. She has been his PURPOSE these past twelve years. The world he dedicated his life to at least try to save has ended. So now he dedicates his life to this little girl who shouldn't be here, yet is anyway. He lives his life in apologies, trying to make up for the fact that she's still in this broken world with such a broken man for a father figure. Owie wowie.

"Monster" by Dodie. Hero has deliberately done a moral u-turn. If she can't be a Hero, she'll be a Monster. THAT'S KNIGHT HERO THAT'S WHY SHE EXISTS AAAAAAAAA

I have a PLAN for the song "Trust Me Not." It's LITERALLY a conversation between Knight Hero and RGB it's PERFECT

"Heart for Brains" by Roar. "Life's hard when you're soft." Even though Hero wears a VERY similar mask to RGB, thinking she's a monster and trying so hard to act tough and hard and be everything this new dead world demands her to be, underneath it all, she's still just Hero. She's that kind, caring, empathetic girl we all saw and loved. Tweens in general are incredibly angsty but Tween Hero gets it BAD because of this exact reason. She cares, and she doesn't want to because it hurts. The end of the world hurt so many people and took so many lives and she blames herself for that every single day. The SAME EXACT PROBLEM RGB HAD UNTIL THIS POINT. he cared. He didn't want to. So he WOULDN'T. (But he did. Or else he wouldn't have raised an entire child). Hero and RGB are little microcosms of each other and I find it so DELICIOUS story wise.

"A Soreness so Familiar it Soon Becomes Unquestionable" by Crywank. THE WAY THESE SONGS HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD IS REMARKABLE??!! "The choice between attack or to apologize. I find contrived white lies so no more anger will arise. The harmony isn't mutual but maybe I am condescending," The TUG OF WAR going on inside of Hero is REDONK and this is PERFECT.

Long story short, I think you're a mind reader and thank you so so so so much for sharing this!!!

<3

#tpoh #the property of hate #tpoh au #Anti-Hero AU #long post #AAAAUUUUUGHHHHHH I LOOOOVVVEEEEE #thank you so much again for the brain food I am eating so good #goosehonks #theroboticxyz

[rueyam]

Salam sis,

Do you have some advice for me pls. You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, it’s totally fine <3

I’ve been talking with a guy for marriage purposes. We’ve kept everything as halal as possible. We have right know been going out 7 times. He tics all the basics and boxes I’ve asked him about (children, future, job, economics etc) but one thing that makes me still not feel attracted to him is his looks. Like mashAllah he is tall with good beard good character, well spoken, smart but I don’t feel any connection towards him grow. I’ve prayed istikhara for a long time now and I still don’t find any attraction. I’m more on the side to cut the ties then to move on with him, but at the same time I don’t want to loose a good opportunity like this. I have told him that my feelings are not there yet and it could maybe take a long time. Which he replied very kindly and said it’s fine that I shouldn’t worry about it. I even told him about my health conditions which he accepted with no problem. Such a good guy, but why don’t I feel attracted :((((?? Idk am I to picy?

Every time I got back home after our meetings it doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t feel butterflies when I meet him. It’s very formel. They are very formel even within his family and I don’t like that.

The thing is in Islam we don’t take the same steps as non Muslims, we have to do it in a specific way to keep things halal, which also can make it sometimes “harder” do develop feelings for someone. I know that most of it comes after marriage but shouldn’t I feel something for him before? Is it stupid to cancel him when he has all the good boxes but I don’t feel attracted to him? And if a give it more time and time and time, but for how long? I don’t want to end up wasting mine his and his families time to see if I develop more feelings, but later only to end up canceling it after a long period when I could had done it earlier.

Im also afraid of not finding a potential again and I’m not getting younger. Me and my family don’t have many ties either so it’s harder to find someone to get married to. I’m 28 yo and this was my first time going out and getting to know a man in this way sooo….

Salam <3

wa alaykumsalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh <3

first i’m glad about your efforts to keep things halal, this is where the barakah comes from and makes your path easier inshAllah. no matter how rational you have to be in a matter of marriage, emotionality is significant. you have to feel a level of attraction towards your partner, else becoming happy with him will not work, no matter how good of a person he is. and yes, there is a chance to fall in love with him with time, but no one can guarantee you that and a marriage just to get married is not something for the long run. not for you, nor for him. i am the type who has to fall in love with a person to marry him, some people can rely on logic only… it depends on how you are built.

i like the thought of Allah swt giving us messages through our intuition and it barely fails. i‘m not sure if seven meetings are enough to make a decision like this, but then again, you entrusted me with this because you came to a point. maybe it’s time to take a moment and really dive into your emotions and ask the right questions. do you really want him or a marriage? does he still have the potential for you to fall in love with him or is there no chance from your pov? will his good characteristics convince you or is what you are searching for something else? being good is not enough. you have to be on the same page on a deeper level.

and believe me, recovering from a failed marriage will take longer than waiting for the right man. never hasten in sharing a whole life with someone. no matter what your decision will be, i hope from the bottom of my heart that it will be the right one for you. keep making dua and listen to what your heart has to say, be genuine to yourself and don’t be afraid to reject when you have to. you do this for you and no one else.

[death-in-shift]

NSFW Alphabet for Jaden

A/N: So I was contemplating on writing NSFW alphabets for my OCS for a while. It was an impulsive decision... But here it is. Minors, do not interact or I'll send your report cards to your parents along with your phone(s).

I found this template somewhere but idk who the credit goes to. Pls let me know!

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex):

Jae will do their best to take care of their partner or fling. Even if it gets to the point where they'll wash their hair or even making them tea and something light.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and their partner's):

They like a lot about the other's body. If the other is feeling insecure about any part, Jae will litter it with kisses. They're not sure how to comfort, but they do understand what it feels like. As for themselves, they're not sure what they like. They might go with their hands and abs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum):

Cum on them, they don't care. They'd prolly lick it up.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs):

Jae loves to be choked, even if they're near passing out. They got into wax play and shibari because of Hayden. They got too curious but they enjoyed the experience. Speaking of,

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?):

They're a virgin. The closet thing to sex was making out and touching someone. Even though they're warming up to the intimacy, they're mainly doing this for their partner/fling.

F = Favourite Position (this goes without saying):

They prefer any position where they get to be bottom. They're pretty shy, but if they were on top, it'll take a while for them to open up.

G = Goofy (are they more serious or humorous?):

They're not super serious, but they don't really make jokes during anything intimate.

H = Hair (how groomed are they? do the carpets match their drapes? etc.):

They're bare.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment from a romantic aspect?):

Canonically, Jae doesn't have much of the romantic feelings. But let's say they do have it for someone or partner. They will express their love by holding their pinky, hand, cuddling, and penguin pebbling. They were emotionally neglected while growing up so it feels a bit foreign to be cared for and to care for someone.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

They're not sure on how to perform self-pleasure so they end up getting overwhelmed.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):

Rope bunny/Rigger, choking, wax play, slight risk of getting caught, hand, size, voice, gloves and masks sometimes

L = Location (favourite places to do the do):

Jae would prolly want to do it in the room, shower, car, or anywhere that is decent looking. Even if they feel horny, they would have to wait to find a good spot.

M = Motivation (what turns them on? what gets them going?):

It depends on how they feel. There are times they get turned on by the small touches, kisses, bites, or even by the person's voice. Other times, they won't react much.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, what turns them off):

They do not want anything to do with feces, urine, or anything that pushes past their boundaries. They won't perform such actions and they don't want it performed on them.

O = Oral (preference in receiving or giving, their skill, etc.):

Jae doesn't mind giving head. They never received it yet so they'll kind of anticipating that moment.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?):

They like being in between. But if their partner wants the pace to pick up or to slow down, they wouldn't mind it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):

It's extremely rare for them to ask for one. But if their partner asks for one, they get hesitant but may say yes or no depending on their comfort.

R = Risk (are they the type to experiment? do they take risks?):

Jae likes to take risks because the feelings of fear and excitement is what gets them going. If they were to get caught, they'll deal with the embarrassment later. At that moment, they don't care.

S = Stamina (how many rounds could they go for? how long do they last?):

For stimulation, they could last a couple rounds. As for how long, it's unknown. for sex, it's unknown as well since they're a virgin.

T = Toys (do they own any toys? do they use them on their partners or themselves):

The only things they own are nipple clamps, rope, wax, and blindfolds. I'm unsure if they count as toys, but if not, Jae doesn't own any vibrators or plugs.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease?):

They do a bit of teasing. They just worry if they may go too far (please let them know!)

V = Volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make? etc.):

Jae is usually a quiet demon, even during those moments. They will moan but it's not too quiet or loud. If they feel like they're gonna be loud, they would try to cover their mouth or bite the inside of their cheek. They also have those breathy laughs but it won't come out as much.

W = Wild Card (a random headcanon for the character):

If they're marked, they would wear it. They can careless if people are looking or asking questions about it. Now if it's rope marks or possible burn marks from the wax play, they'll hide it so no one thinks they were in danger.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive):

Like every other demon, Jae does go into heat. By then, their sex drive is high. During the days where they're not in heat, they have a pretty low libido. It can spike up once in a while but they usually wait it out.

Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards):

They will fall asleep a bit after but there are times they will force themselves to stay awake. They'll feel bad if they don't take care of their partner/fling.

#death in shift #oc #jae michaelis #mdni

[izzy-b-hands]

Stede’s kids, aka two little shits lol, come looking for him. On their own. In a dinghy.

They truly are his children.

I guessed on their ages, so put them about idk, like 8 or 9, maybe 10 at the oldest for Alma and maybe five or six for Louis, somewhere about there. I may be wrong or off but I’m winging it for now until I find anything definitive re: how old they are in show canon lol.

A note, I did combine some historical stuff for Stede here. Mainly his first son, named Allamby, who had died by 1715 per Wikipedia.

TW for descriptions of child death re: Allamby (made up, because I couldn’t find much to give an exact cause of death, so I just rolled with it.)

I stared at this all day and I think I caught any accidentally a words or major fuck ups, but if I missed something pls let me know and I’ll fix it ASAP dsklfjaskl. Also, if any additional trigger tags are wanted that I missed, let me know and I’ll add them them right away!

---

“Another letter from the kids,” Ed said as he handed the envelope to Stede. “I’ll bet they still want to come out with us.”

“And I’ve told them their mother will not allow that at this time, understandably,” Stede chuckled. “But we’ll remind them.”

He opened the letter and started to read. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

Stede nodded and handed the letter back, moving to sit on a nearby barrel. He’d expected some whining that he hadn’t come back for a bit, or to allow them to sail with him for at least a week or two (Mary wasn’t entirely against it; she simply wanted them to be older before they did so, and that no raid would take place while they were aboard. Sensible requirements that Stede agreed with wholeheartedly.)

He hadn’t expected this.

“They’re looking for us?” Ed said, shocked. “They aren’t old enough for that. Are they?”

“How old were you when you left to be a pirate?”

“Sixteen, or about there,” Ed replied. “How old are yours again?”

“Not that,” Stede laughed nervously. “Oh god.”

“No, don’t panic,” Ed said. “After all, they’re your kids. Smart, good head on their shoulders.”

“And a proclivity to make rash, potentially dangerous and/or poor decisions?”

Ed paused. “Well. Yeah, that too.”

“Should we head their way and see if we can’t find them?” Stede asked. In his head, all he could see were two panicked children aboard a dinghy, in rough seas, potentially about to drown or starve if they somehow survived it-

“You’re picking at the thread on your jacket,” Ed interrupted the stream of potential catastrophes. “Take a breath.”

“I will, when we find them.”

--

“What else did the letter say?” Olu asked.

“They’ve bought their own provisions, weapons-” Ed read, then paused to laugh. “That’s wonderful! Not even my kids and I’m proud of them. Wonder what they picked up for that, because-”

“Ed,” Stede interrupted. “They likely stole money from their mother, oh god I hadn’t considered that yet. Forget being hung for piracy, Mary’s going to kill me first.”

“No one is getting hung for being a pirate, and I’m sure Mary will...” Ed hesitated. “You know, if we all go ashore, you’ll have a head start.”

“I think I need to lie down.”

“Children are much more resilient than you think,” Izzy offered. “They’re probably perfectly fine.”

“Or dead,” Stede chuckled. “I’ll make myself walk the plank if that’s the case!”

“I don’t think anyone actually does that,” Pete frowned.

“What, make someone walk the plank?” Lucius asked. “Or let their kids die at sea?”

Stede whimpered, and Ed wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Let’s not say dead unless we should find them that way,” Ed said. “And no, walking the plank really isn’t a thing. Sorry, love.”

“Right,” Stede nodded. “Then you can tie the anchor to me and drop me overboard! Maybe let Mary do it, that would only be right. And any loot could go towards funerals-”

He let himself drop out of Ed’s grip to sit on the deck, staring into space. He didn’t exactly want to take back all the years of playing pirate, but at the same time, maybe they wouldn’t have come looking for him if he hadn’t done so.

Ed peered down. “So, we’re going to take the lead on this, and I’m going to help Stede to bed. Sound good, Stede?”

He managed a nod, and didn’t fight when Ed and Izzy helped him up and more or less dragged him to their quarters.

“Try to rest, and think of something else,” Ed said as they dropped him into bed. “Read a book, distract yourself.”

He went to the shelves, and pulled out a book on the designing of children’s funerals, and dealing with grief.

Ed frowned. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Come on,” Izzy whispered. “Sooner we find them, sooner he’ll either be alright, or we’ll lock him in here so he doesn’t jump overboard.”

--

“Do we know what they look like?” Roach asked.

“No,” Ed replied.

“Names?”

“Alma and Louis,” Ed said.

“Anything else?”

Ed looked back to the letter. “Alma has very nice handwriting?”

The crew groaned collectively.

“None of that,” Izzy scolded. “That isn’t helping.”

“More information would be helpful too,” Frenchie said. “What do we look for otherwise?”

“It’s two kids in a boat, probably just out there floating!” Jim shouted. “The fuck else do you think we need to look for?”

“Whoa, okay,” Olu took Jim’s hand. “Good point though, there can’t be that many younger kids out for a jaunt on the sea without any parents or someone to keep an eye on them.”

Frenchie raised his hand.

“Yup,” Ed nodded. “Go on.”

“Does their mum know they’re gone?”

Silence.

Izzy opened his mouth, then shut it and looked to Ed for direction.

“Possibly,” Ed finally said. “They didn’t say in the letter.”

“So in other words, their mum and her boyfriend might also be out there?”

Ed pondered it in a silent panic. “Yeah. Yeah, they might be.”

“Actually then, we’re looking for four people,” Frenchie said. “Good to know. Really hope we don’t accidentally find them by running over their dinghies.”

“I know we’re all probably a little scared for all of them,” Olu said. “But we need to keep our shit together. Stede’s lost his enough for all of us, frankly.”

“They are his kids,” Ed said sharply. “Though I wonder about the oldest one. Why didn’t he go with?”

“Isn’t the daughter the oldest?” Olu asked.

“Thought so, but before he came back I went snooping through his things,” Ed said. “And there’s a mention of a son, Allamby. He’s the first kid listed on anything that mentioned his family.”

“Could be he’s old enough that he didn’t want to go,” Roach offered.

“Then why not stop the other two?” Frenchie asked. “They’d tell an older sibling at least before they left. I would, were it me. Brother won’t necessarily yell at you about it, even if he doesn’t like it, and he could have been the one to give them money too.”

“We’re wasting time,” Wee John said. “Let’s get to actually looking for them, and then we can ask them about all of this.”

“Capital idea,” Ed declared. “All hands then, let’s get the show on the road.”

“At least we know they’ll be dressed fancy, if they’re that much like Stede,” Frenchie murmured to Wee John. “Could spot a bright silk from a mile away.”

--

The first three days were fruitless. Stede ate when food was brought to him, drank when water was presented. At night, he walked the deck while the others slept, no matter how much Ed protested. He argued that he slept enough during the days to distract himself from the worst possibilities, the least he could was take the night watch to see if they might be spotted then.

On day four, Ed joined him.

“Can I ask you something?”

Stede nodded, still looking out into the dark at the far end of the deck. The sea was calm, and the moon bright. Perfect conditions to find one’s missing children.

“Why didn’t their older brother go with?”

Stede turned. “Alma is our oldest.”

“Who is Allamby then? I may have peeked at some of your stuff before you came back, and-”

Stede shook his head. “I sort of wish you hadn’t.”

“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have,” Ed said, and took Stede’s hand, reassured when he grasped back tightly. “I won’t again, not without your permission.”

“No, it isn’t the biggest deal in the world,” Stede sighed. “Allamby was our actual first. But he passed a few years ago.”

“When?”

Stede sighed again. “1715.”

“That’s only two years ago,” Ed scoffed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He’s gone and buried,” Stede replied. “What would there be to tell?”

“I’d imagine a lot,” Ed said softly. “How old was he?”

“Five,” Stede said, with another squeeze of Ed’s hand. “Very sweet. Liked picking flowers with me, to bring home to Mary. Wanted to study flowers, actually. Told me how he’d like to discover new ones, and he could name them after all of us.”

“Ambitious,” Ed laughed. “All that at five?”

“He had a plan for almost all of it,” Stede chuckled. “Didn’t really have any idea of how he’d make money to live of course, but truthfully I would have happily paid his way until he was on his feet. And even then, if ever he needed anything, all he would have had to do was ask.”

“What about playing pirate?”

Stede grinned, and finally turned to face Ed. “He loved it. Insisted we go down to the beach to play, the house wasn’t where a pirate would live! We’d walk down and he’d talk about everything involved with it: what weapons he’d use, what he’d most like to have as loot, even how he’d decorate his ship.”

“Flowers?”

“Lots of them. Painted on the walls, on the hull. Didn’t mind that it would mean repainting often. It was a worthy effort to him.”

He leaned into Ed, and Ed slipped his hand from Stede’s to wrap it around his waist instead.

“What happened? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Stede again looked to the sea. It was empty as it had been before.

“We don’t really know. He went to bed as usual, after two extra bedtime stories no less, and the next morning,” Stede’s voice caught in his throat. “He didn’t wake up. We thought he was having a lie in, since he did on occasion. Gave him an extra half hour to sleep or play in his room, whatever he was up to. Then Mary asked that I go up and bring him down for a late breakfast.”

Ed reached with his free hand to wipe a tear off Stede’s cheek as it fell. “Stede, if you want to stop-”

“No, he deserves to be known about,” Stede choked. “After we chose to not tell Alma or Louis about him, at least for now. That leaves only me and Mary and our parents, but they never did like him much. Too much like me, I suppose.”

He took a deep shaking breath. “I went up to get him. And it seemed awfully quiet, but he could sleep deeply. He’d played hard the day before too, all day at the beach, being the best pirate he could be!”

Stede smiled. “He would have loved it out here. I’m sure of it. Not that Mary would have wanted him out here either, but maybe when he was older, she would have...well. I suppose that doesn’t matter now.”

Ed nodded and tried to hold him tighter.

“I just thought he was sleeping deeply again,” Stede said. “He looked fine. Out cold, but fine. No blue in his lips, no gray on his skin. Not at that point, at least. But I couldn’t rouse him.”

Ed didn’t say a word, and waited for Stede.

“It was ridiculous, sitting on his bed, trying to shake him awake. Even went and got a glass of water and poured it over him, the poor thing!” Stede was openly crying now. His eyes hadn’t left the glassy water that surrounded them. “How he would have shouted any other morning if I’d done that! And it would have been deserved!”

Stede wiped away his tears, but they fell as fast as he could remove them. “Felt his forehead, expected a fever. He was cold.”

There was no wind, and the night was cool but not enough to chill. Stede shivered nonetheless.

“I picked him up and ran downstairs and called for Mary and to send for the doctor, or whoever could come by quickest that had any knowledge that might help,” Stede continued. “She knew before I did. Accepted it before I did, more like. She’d warned me before we tried for children, that there was always risk. They could die in childbirth and take her with them. Could have a horrid accident. Could be sick enough to die. Could simply die while in their cot, as a baby.”

He took a gasping breath. “But not at that age. Far too old to be a cot death. But it didn’t matter. Mary waited for the doctor at the door, and I stayed with him. Held him until the doctor made me let go.”

“And Mary?”

“Devastated as I was, but she didn’t fall apart like me until the burial. I think it really hit then. We spent days in the house, not eating, not sleeping. We talked once about what if we went to his grave and checked. Maybe he was really alright, and what if we’d buried him alive?! He’d be scared and want us and he’d think we had abandoned him.”

Ed gently prompted him to walk, to try and get him to their quarters or anywhere that he couldn’t watch the waves. At least for a few moments.

But Stede didn’t move an inch. “We nearly did it, too. Mary borrowed some of my old things, so she could move more easily. We were at the door, shovels in hand, and then we realized what we were doing.”

He sobbed. “And it would be pointless. He’d be as pale and lifeless as he’d been at his wake, in his coffin.”

It was by some grace that Izzy came out of his room, headed for the galley. At seeing them, he changed direction and strode over.

“Did we find them?” he asked Ed in a whisper.

“No,” Ed whispered back. “Could you help me get him to our quarters? I can take over the rest of the night watch.”

“You stay with him,” Izzy said. “I can do it. It’ll be nearly light before we know it anyway.”

With a bit more prompting and gentle pulling, they got Stede to walk away from the rail of the deck.

--

“Got something!” Frenchie called from the crow’s nest. “Small vessel, not close enough to see all who’s in it though!”

“Dinghy is ready,” Izzy said as he jogged past Ed towards it. “Roach?”

“On my way,” Roach hustled up behind him, kit of medicines and bandages and everything else in one hand. In the other was a small bag. “Got sandwiches and some jars of water in here. No offense to them, but I can’t imagine kids can estimate how much they’d need...”

“We fuck that up often enough ourselves,” Ed said. “And we’re old enough to know better.”

“And yet,” Izzy sighed, but it had no teeth behind it.

Ed tried to get a better look at the dinghy as they slowly made their approach. “I still can’t tell...looks empty.”

As they made their way beside it, he saw he was right. Still a jug of water and a basket of oranges, set by two daggers. But otherwise, empty.

“Fuck,” Izzy said softly. “Maybe they abandoned it and went ashore somewhere?”

“Why would they leave their supplies?” Roach asked.

Before any one of them could speculate, there was a ripple in the water.

Ed felt a hand grasp his at the edge of the dinghy.

Then, a face. “Oh shit! Louis, come back up!”

They watched as Alma dove back underwater and brought Louis up, a fish in his hands. “I caught one! Can we really stop somewhere to cook it and eat it? Can we go now?”

“No!” Alma looked over fearfully to them as she pushed Louis into their dinghy. “We don’t have anything you’d want! We’re looking for our dad, and he’s a pirate! Most fearsome to sail the sea, so if you’re planning to rob or kill us...”

She paused, clearly out of breath from swimming and panic. “Well, I would reconsider it!”

Izzy smiled, then broke into laughter. “Yeah, these are his. Fucking fuck, Bonnet.”

“You know him!” Alma pulled herself into their vessel, and moved her wet hair out of her eyes. “Where is he?”

“We sail with him,” Ed replied. “And he’s been a mess looking for you two, after he got your letter.”

“Told you he’d meet us halfway,” Louis said. “I told you!”

“Oh shut up,” Alma sighed. “Sorry about him, but he’s always like this, I should warn you-”

“I’m not like anything! I’m being polite and I was even going to offer to share my fish with them!”

“How about we tow you back with us, and then we’ll see about the fish,” Roach smiled. “I’m our chef and surgeon, so maybe you could help me cook it.”

Louis grinned, and set the dead fish on the bottom of the boat to hand over the rope tied to the dinghy.

“Curious,” Ed said as they started the trip back. “Did you two steal this?”

“Of course we did,” Alma scoffed. “We’re pirates.”

Izzy was still having giggle fits, even as he rowed. “Yes, yes you are.”

--

“Dad, ow. Dad! Help!” Louis cried out as Stede picked him up in a bear hug.

“Okay, let’s not suffocate him, metaphorically or literally,” Lucius said as he rushed over. “Hi! Your dad really missed you.”

“I can tell,” Louis said, voice muffled with his face jammed into Stede’s silk waistcoat.

“I was so worried about you,” Stede said as he finally set poor Louis down. “Did you tell your mother that you left?”

“I left her a note,” Alma said, then backed up as Stede moved for her. “Dad, I’m too big to pick up, Dad!”

He did all the same. “And look at you! Sailing in that dress! How on earth did you manage that?”

“You get used to it,” Alma said. “You’re squishing my lungs, I think.”

“Sorry,” Stede set her back on her feet. “I just. I thought you two were dead, and I had no idea how I’d tell your mother or what I’d do; it isn’t as if I’m likely to have any more children and...”

“Dad, you don’t have to cry,” Alma said, but she wrapped her arms around him and nestled her head into his neck.

“I’m hungry,” Louis said. “Mr. Roach, can we go cook my fish?”

“Yeah buddy, we can,” Roach replied. “Ed, if Stede’s looking for him-”

“I’ll let him know,” Ed interrupted gently, brushing away a tear of his own. “Let us know when dinner’s ready, hm?”

“Of course.”

The rest of the crew kept on with their various chores, but all of them stayed on the main deck, watching Stede lead Alma around to show her the ship. In return, she told him how they’d left, stolen their boat, how she’d been saving her allowance to buy everything from their food to their daggers.

No one interrupted directly, but there were smiles and soft giggles all around.

Ed was the only one following after them, listening in and silently cheering at Alma’s resourcefulness. Of all the Bonnets, she seemed the one who might not need any teaching about piracy. Maybe too young, but well prepared for it all the same.

“I am...” Stede sighed happily. “Your mother wouldn’t like to hear this, but I am so proud of you both. What you did was very dangerous-”

“You’ve said that like a hundred times already,” Alma interrupted.

“I know, I know, but I’m your dad. I have to say things like that, so you’re more careful in the future.”

Alma rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Fine, then we’ll board and steal a bigger ship next time.”

“Next time!”

“That or you come back and let us come with now and then,” she said with a little happy hop.

“While that would be a lovely achievement, I think it better I arrange with your mum something that would let you two come out and sail a bit,” Stede said. “If my co-captain is agreeable to it.”

He peered back to Ed with a hopeful smile.

“Absolutely! Say, how good are you two with those daggers?”

Alma blushed. “We aren’t. We didn’t get to practice before we left, and we’ve only used fake swords before.”

“Then I say we get you some lessons on knives with Jim before we take you two home,” Ed said.

“Which is Jim?”

He pointed out Jim, currently winning a knife-throwing contest against Frenchie and Wee John, with the Swede keeping score.

“Whoa,” Alma breathed out as Jim made their best throw yet. “Can I learn how to do that?”

“Jim can teach you that, and I’ll teach you how to take out an eyeball with a dagger, how about that?”

Her eyes shone. “Really?”

He looked to Stede, who chuckled. “I suppose. Better earlier than later, if you’re really going to be a pirate.”

She cheered and rushed away to Jim. They watched her tug on Jim’s coat, mouth moving a mile a minute as she pointed to Jim’s knife.

Jim looked back to them, seemingly waiting for permission.

Stede gave them a nod, and immediately Jim knelt down and handed Alma their knife, showing her how to hold it before tossing it.

“Think Mary’s still going to kill you?” Ed asked.

“Maybe not. Once we bring them back and work something out properly, and I’m sure they’ll need to promise not to run off on their own again. She might show mercy on me then.”

Stede leaned into him, arm at his waist, and they watched the rest of the knife throwing lesson in a contented silence.

--

“Roach said I did the best job he’s ever seen,” Louis told Stede proudly as they sat down to dinner. His fish was too small to share with everyone, but a portion were on his and Alma’s plates. “I bet I could learn how to be a ship’s chef from him.”

“He’s our surgeon too,” Stede said. “That means learning about bodies and blood and guts!”

Louis grinned. “Cool.”

“They get that from Mary,” Stede told Ed, sitting a spot away from him beside Alma. “She’s got an iron stomach.”

“You’re getting better with that,” Ed said. “Sometimes you just need to be around it more to get used to it.”

“Jim taught me how to throw a knife,” Alma leaned past Stede to Louis. “And Ed’s gonna teach me how to take out an eyeball!”

“Ew,” Louis giggled. “Can I learn too?”

Ed smiled warmly. “Stede, I love them. They’re awesome. I had never really thought about kids-”

“Is Ed like our stepdad like Doug?” Louis interrupted.

Stede looked to Ed with a chuckle. “Well, Doug said you two sort of decided if he was or not. What do you think about Ed?”

“Makes sense he would be,” Alma replied. “Cause Doug teaches us how to paint, and now Ed’s gonna be teaching us stuff too. Plus he’s dating you.”

They both blinked. They’d not so much as kissed in front of them yet.

“How do you know that?” Stede asked.

“I have eyes,” Alma said. “And you two act the way Mum and Doug do. You make eyes at each other.”

“I suppose we do,” Stede blushed.

“You’re literally doing it right now,” Alma said, and looked across the table to Jim. “Do they do this all the time?”

“Yes,” came a chorus of voices.

“We aren’t that bad,” Ed said.

“I bet they kiss like all the time,” Louis said.

“They do,” Izzy stage-whispered from his spot by Jim. “And hold hands, and-”

Alma and Louis broke into giggles, cutting him off.

“Alright, we have a decent feast tonight!” Roach announced as he finished setting down the last dish, covered by a high metal dome. “Hard tack, a stew that I think finally everyone will like, and-”

He lifted the dome off the dish. “Thanks to Alma and Louis, we had more than enough oranges for a cake!”

Louis turned to Stede, mouth open to speak.

“One piece for tonight,” Stede said before he could get out a word.

“Okay, but-”

“Stew first, then cake. It’ll taste better that way.”

Louis nodded. “And my fish before the stew!”

“Of course,” Stede said.

Dishes were passed from hand to hand, until plates were full. Everyone dug in, but Stede took the opportunity to take it all in.

Maybe, now and again, he could have both. His family at sea, and some of his family on land, together.

If he saved some cake for Mary, she’d be potentially more likely to say yes, and he made a mental note to set enough aside for her and Doug.

And maybe one extra piece, for Alma and Louis to share before bed.

#text post #ofmd fic #aka the fic of stede holy shit control ur mini pirates lmao #tho if I ever write a follow up to this mary is probably gonna be pissed but also like I should have expected this djslkafjsal #fkn kids man #on the plus side tho when they do sail with him they've got a sort of second stepdad in Ed (and stepdad Doug on land of course) #and a bunch of adopted aunts and uncles who are gonna spoil them rotten and also teach them shit like how to skin a man #ya know the stuff you need to know around that age lmaoo #tw child death

[myjinri]

hi hi hi! here is my little plot call for the event. vry quickly put together so this may seem a little scrambled but pls bear with me. this will def get edited randomly as i continue thinking throughout the days. feel free to leave a like if u'd like to plot something for the event <3 or lmk if one of my ideas interests u and would like a starter

december 11-14

jinri's one of the early arrivals against her wishes at the four seasons hotel. it's very likely to run into her there, or during/on her way to or back from one of her spontaneous night escapades.

will be at some of the offered activities because it's "for her image" and potential connections. more likely to be at the art classes, second likely are the wellness activities, and third is anything food related. she'd rather not do things in big crowds which is what she does during the night. might even catch her at any other muse's event if she so feels inclined to stop by.

might catch her potentially songwriting (or attempting to) in her free time. (she's at a weird state in her career where she feels like she has lost her way since she's not constantly working on something, so she's grasping at straws here..

vibes are casual small talk and brief conversations during the day, but at night she's more casual, esp if you catch her outside. the 12th, 13th and/or 14th may be filled with her doing fan events idk yet but i'll update this when i make a final decision.

some thread/plot ideas (can be adjusted): in art class and jinri gets emotional and maybe sheds a tear or two over art / being used as an excuse for jinri to escape her manager and then being roped into whatever plan she has / going on a tour and jinri attempts to convince the other to join her in leaving to do their own / simple running into each other in passing / past friends taking advantage of being in the same place and finally hanging out.

december 15

once again, she annoyingly early arrival to the gala so she might not be in the best mood near the start. after the ceremony she'll be mingling and be all over the place so high chance of seeing her or even chatting with her.

occasionally stops to just enjoy the music throughout the event. the easiest time for anyone to approach her since she's not on the move. once she's exhausted she'll be settled for the night near the bar. likely internally struggling with the decision to drink or not.

some thread/plot ideas (can be adjusted): someone convinces jinri to drink (intentionally or unintentionally) / jinri really likes the song being played and asks for a dance / sat next to each other during dinner and jinri's spacing out. / jinri loses her prized possession and is silently panicking trying to look for it.

december 16-17

if u guessed she'd be at the resort in chiang rai, you'd be correct.

jinri isn't too ecstatic to be participating in a campaign for the resort, but what choice does she really have when she's supposed to be "rebranding" herself. once she's done she's running as far away as possible from the cameras.

tbh, this is probably the one night she completely lets loose. this is probably the easiest time to talk to her, but also potentially the most aggravating since she's likely not taking anything seriously.

i envision potential budding friendships or the strengthening of old ones as she'd have a group of people she hangs out with for majority of the time they're there?

far, far, very far stretch! but since it's likely she got wasted that same night, there's also potential for jinri to have started shamelessly flirting and say things she definitely regret. i don't know but this could be an interesting angle to play out and develop further.

#thefouraaes

[theteasetwrites]

Well I just watched episode 23. Here are my thoughts. 🥲

Spoilers for TWD season 11 episode 23. Don’t read if you haven’t watched it because some shit goes down.

Love that they’re all heading for commonwealth to fuck shit up

Ok I am actually pissed tf off about Daryl letting Judith come with them. Daryl she’s like 11 years old. Idc how “tough” she is, she should not be allowed to fight in a literal warzone where there are automatic rifles being shot at your people. I absolutely HATE how they’ve written Daryl to allow that. They’re making him make such a stupid ass decision that I feel like he would never make (another OOC moment because the writers don’t know Daryl as a character anymore). Daryl makes stupid decisions sometimes, but this is beyond stupid. Daryl, I know you would be a better parent than that and yet they’ve written you like you have the common sense of a potato

Also Judith begging to go with them all the time is so annoying to me like girl you are a literal child know your place read the room and stop trying to be an adult it’s just annoying at this point we get it your parents were Rick and Michonne pls shut up about it🙄

Hi when am I supposed to start caring about Annie or her and Negan’s stupid unborn baby I think I missed the memo

NOT LYDIA. NOT LYDIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I gasped. When I tell you I sat up in my bed at 3am and GASPED. I love Lydia so much. But at least it was just her arm and Aaron was with her and helped amputate, but still. Also when Aaron said “you are so loved Lydia” 🥹 I love this man so much you don’t understand he is actually the best character right next to Daryl don’t @ me I’m right also I cared more about Lydia than I did Judith in this ep 🫣

I hope Elijah and Jerry make it in the herd, but tbh I am not going to get my hopes up because they are both fair game at this point unfortunately 😔 who is going to take care of Jerry’s 20 kids

I love that Mercer is helping them out now! He really is a great character I think. It’s just so frustrating that he got snitched on but you know what they say about snitches

Ezekiel pls you don’t have to be nice to Negan it’s ok (I love him for that tho, we stan a bigger person) also if they kill Ezekiel I will stab someone anyway

I really really hope Rosita finds her baby. I wonder why Coco wasn’t at Alexandria like the other kids??

Connie is so sweet to that guy idk his name but you know. That guy. Too bad he DIES

Oh yeah and Judith gets shot. Um so I am not a big Judith fan at all so like obviously I am slightly sad but also… I mostly just care about how Daryl is going to deal with it because he is totally going to blame himself (as he should bc WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN BESTIE 😭). Daryl has lost so many people and he always blames himself for it and idk it just really bothers me that they’re doing this to him AGAIN like let my man have ONE DAY where someone’s death isn’t indirectly his fault and/or affects him greatly. We don’t even know if Judith is gonna die but yeah it’s not looking good. I mean they’re not going to get great medical care in the middle of a full-blown war AND a walker attack (with the advanced updated DLC version of walkers thrown in too)

I honestly don’t care that much if Judith dies but I also don’t want Daryl to have to deal with that because DAMN he is going to be devastated he has lost so much man it’s really not fair. I think he has suffered more than any character on this show and I don’t think it is controversial to say that because just considering the sheer amount of shit he has dealt with and seen is insane. I would say he is going to need therapy after this but apocalypse 😔

But also Daryl you dumb bitch lol ofc this was going to happen you should have never let a CHILD into a WARZONE you big himbo

I’d still give him a blowjob tho he’s gonna need one after this

Anyway

Also Pamela suck the fattest cock you are such an asshole I hate you and I can’t wait to watch you die I hope Daryl kills you too 😘

Ok that’s all I think?? Idk this episode was a whirlwind. I am scared for the next one (esp since Daryl is laying on the ground?!?! HELP)

#twd spoilers #TWD season 11 #the walking dead

[technodromes]

And that's it. I spilled all the worms for tonight. Time to go sleep. I might or might not post pride-related headcanons tomorrow, depending on how confident I feel about it. Idk I always feel kinda nervous about posting such hcs rip. For instance, I haven't fully made up my mind about Bishop yet. I answered relationship-themed memes for him a while back tho, but depending on my decision, I might actually rewrite them (pls don't hit me lmao). In a sense, having him Ace and fully determined on his duties does make more sense? The kind of fellow to have married his jobs, ya feel? But I ain't gonna write that into stone yet, maybe I just roll with the way things went down earlier. I'm too tired to make such decisions anyway, but I still put these thoughts out here (maybe someone wants to add some inputs on it?)

I wanna focus on drafts/my inbox in the next days. Neither are really that big tho, I'm just having ADS brain worms that won't let me focus on writing for longer than 10 minutes (except tonight apparently, but the worms said 'only headcanons, no replies')

#Non Rp #tdl

[ferrariprince16]

sorry for the long rant that’s coming I just have so much on my mind right now.

i cannot believe that this has happened AGAIN. Yea sure, maybe I’d expect Ferrari to fuck up 1-2 times a season but to think that this is now 5 races in a row that Charles has lost wins/points through no fault of his own is just unbelievable. He has proven time and time again that he deserves to be on top of that podium, winning a championship, etc. Even though he is wrongfully criticized and under-appreciated by many, he still shows up and performs every weekend. All he wanted was a “clean weekend” and yet once again he got everything but that.

What does this mean for the rest of the season? To me, it seemed clear that charles was their #1 driver this season. But if today showed us anything, he is not being treated as such. I’m happy Carlos got his first win, but I’m pissed it came at the expense of Charles. Some are saying that Ferrari favored Carlos in order to get him his maiden win and from now on, they’ll treat charles as the #1. And I want to believe that, but seeing how this season has gone so far, I am just not sure. Only 11 points separate them now and Ferrari is going to have to make a decision on who they are going to prioritize. Do you think there’s any chance they may shift their focus to Carlos?

After the race, I was asking myself why I feel so bad for someone I don’t even know. I felt pathetic getting so upset and angry over a sport. And I know Charles doesn’t need my pity. Though his life has been riddled with a lot of pain, the life he has made for himself is something many people dream of and he is so loved by those around him. But this season has been weekend after weekend of false hope and disappointment and I can’t help but start to feel shitty about constantly being let down.

Idk if I can keep watching this season if it’s just going to play out like this. I really hope Ferrari prove me wrong next weekend, but I’ve been saying that for weeks now and nothing has changed.

Sorry again for the long post, none of my friends or family watch f1 so this is the only place I feel like I can express how I’m feeling. Thanks ♥️

hey anon don't apologise pls, you can vent on me anytime you want, i won't mind at all.

you're feeling are so valid and i understand them so much. you explained everything just right and i agree with every single word.

i am too hopeless rn. from one side i don't want to watch this ridiculous sport anymore, but from the other we have this amazing man, this amazing driver that conquered all of us and we can only show him so much support and i know he needs that. so i'm doing it for him, i came back to the sport for him. maybe we can do it together.

he deserves so much more than this but we're here for him ❤️

thank you for your insight and again you can come here anytime you want. have a good whatever time is in your country 💕

#anon #charles leclerc

[mondfahrt]

trying to plan a trip to the us like uhmmmm i have no idea how any of this works

#its a work trip #and i have to apply for money to do it. so i have to plan it before i even know i can go #i'm making this much too complicated again #are there any resources out there to help with planning shit like this? #also yes i am kinda terrified to go overseas for like 3 weeks on my own lmao #also also im seriously not sure if i should go to san francisco or not. it seems like such a hassle. #like its completely out of the way of every other place i need to go. #but on the other hand i feel like visiting the memorial grove would be important? #idk yet. someone pls make decisions for me!

[yatsugareboyf]

hii could i request chuuya and dazai with a male reader who has like a dramatic and impulsive personality/type of humour? like he impulsively spends money or makes plans, and talks pretty hyperbolically bc he thinks its pretty funny-

im sorry if this didnt make sense sjsjdjd-

heheheheh this is so funny

chuuya and dazai with a dramatic and impulsive male!s/o

nakahara chuuya

good lord why does he keep attracting these types of people /j

like isnt dazai enough

"ah, chuuya! this is the wrong soda! i said orange not grape! i feel like im getting drunk just looking at it"

"bitchass u said royal how would i know which flavour"

"you shouldve known! ah really chuuya do you even know me? your boyfriend?"

yeah. hes sick of you /j

but really he tries to keep with a lot of your impulsive decisions

like you'll be out on a date and you see someone selling his antique wall clock thats duck themed or whatever and what do u know chuuya's carrying it home

hes happy seeing u happy so most of the time he just allows you to do whatever you wanted to do

sometimes when hes not around u just end up buying so much stuff online that u set to overnight shipping

which chuuya ends up paying for bcs he doesnt let you 😭

LIKE HE WONT LET U WASTE UR MONEY SO HE WASTES HIS IDK MAN

"chuuya~ i have my own money yknow"

"yeah but you're not paying for this... what the fuck is this.. "face mask maker"? yeah you're not wasting your money on this i got it"

"but chuuya its not even that expensive"

"dipshit this is 400 dollars"

but he ends up enjoying your impulsive spends bcs u use it on him

"haha chuuya what if i make a wine face mask"

"you're not using my wine. ok but what if-"

WINE FACE MASKS

idk if chuuya or u would eat it-

one time u bought tons of makeup and he witnessed u going through so many styles of makeup in a week-

like the e-girl make up, the colorful makeup, then the rlly emo makeup then natural makeup

u wanted to try it on him but he refused

"but chuuya you'd look so pretty :(("

"you can be the pretty one, im good"

u did end up applying just eyeliner on him and he's fairly impressed

wont ask u to apply it again bcs hes too shy but u know he wants to have it on everyday

abt ur spontaneous plans, he usually stops u 😭

bcs even if u had time to go, he wouldnt and hed rather be there for u when u do go

so whenever you hear that he has a day off or he isn’t on call you’ve already bought tickets to disneyland!

overall i think hes okay with it as long as you’re happy 

(ill make a side thing abt bsd boys handling homophobia bcs that shit deserves a separate post)

dazai osamu

i think hes just the same as u, but hes more Willing to pull through with your impulsive antics

while getting to know each other, you learn that dazai loves crab, but only eats the canned kind because he cant afford special crab

that made you sad that you bought so much crab and learned a few recipes under a day

now theres 5 different crab dishes and 10 more crabs in the fridge, and dazai isnt even home yet from work

he comes home to 7 different crab dishes and a very exhausted boyfriend

he loved the dishes.

nonetheless he joins u in your very impulsive travel plans because he has a lot of free time

(he doesn't he just ditches work)

poor kunikida calling dazai bcs they need back up and hes like

"sorry, kunikida-kun! i'm in disneyworld!"

"WHAT"

u also worry him a lot w ur hyperbolic vocabulary

"OSAMU I THINK I BROKE MY LEG"

THEN HE APPROACHES U AND HES LIKE

"OH MY GOD ARE U OKAY"

but u just stubbed ur toe 👍

but hes taking it all seriously and like

"we need to get you to yosano"

"wait- NO"

hes more understanding of why u do what u do so he tends to just follow whatever u wanted to do at the time

"i love u so much, more than the size of the.... the pacific ocean"

"my, that's a lot of love"

PLS U THINK DAZAI WOULD KNOW MORE ABT HANDLING MONEY

he can't. no one trusts u two with money.

kunikida even tries to NOT give y'all's checks bcs that one time u bought big ass bean bag and adressed it to the ada-

ranpo uses it now and fights to death with dazai to nap on it

u buy so many things and sometimes u forget to address it to ur home

like- some packages end up at atsushi's dorm

"kyouka-chan?"

"there's a box outside our dorm for you."

"WHY IS IT AT YOUR DORM?"

"i thought you would know."

and dazai' just amused at how u have everyone's address at ur disposal to use

#idk what i did with this #like what happened to dazai's hcs #i need to take a nap #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bsd dazai x reader #chuuya headcanons #dazai headcanons #yatsugareboyfwrites