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#if you look closely there’s a major mistake in the dialog
decoloraa · 7 months
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Waltz and champagne (part 1/?)
A little journey into Val’s life when he’s not at Fort Briggs. Central City’s upper class life has everything to offer from fancy parties to fake smiles and schemes.
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book club meeting no. 0
for the @owlcatober prompt 3, reading.
Daeran interrupts Mura reading to have a conversation around the books shes been weighing the party down with, and requests for certain types of books
warnings: none! except some dirty humor about illustrated demon summoning books and a joke that's in line with daerans dialog about certain key figures of the crusades.
The vapid aasimar lounges in her doorway, a book in his hands; A book that should be locked in her chest at the foot of her bed. The bed she's currently sitting on, curled over reading one of the books that caught her eye in the library, just before she finally gave way to exhaustion.
‘And pray tell, why do you think you have the right to rifle through my things?’ a tad defensive, but he revels in evoking such emotion.
‘I was hoping that at least one of the books you decided to make us lug around the city after various mutts and malcontenters would make for more interesting reading than the blandness that counts as reading material in this armpit of the city’ a faux outraged turn of his head, ‘you would think a establishment such as a tavern would have interesting material, not this depravity of culture’ a mock look of dismayed understanding, ‘although i do suppose the damn crusaders got here first and practically leached anything interesting out of this place the second they crosses the threshold’
She volleyed back with a desert dry voice ‘what a shame, i left the heretical books illustrated sex rituals in the dungeon with their creators corpses, i thought i should let their ghosts have some entertainment. And given that you occupy so much of your time and derive so much joy from taunting the crusaders that surround us, I thought that sated your appetite for entertainment. I see my mistake now, and shall seek to rectify it in the future’
‘Surely you could have left some for me?’ he pulled off the pleading look well, but not as well as the tiefling. 
‘If we make it out of here alive i'll commission you a personalized version with all the sacrifices being replaced by her majesty’
And there was the sharp grin that was uncomfortably close to the one that fills her dreams.
‘I will hold you to that, as payment for my suffering among these cruel killer of joy’ his dramatics made him more irritating than endearing, but he was plenty of entertainment by himself, and though she didn't suffer much under the practicality of the current crusaders, the urge to laugh in there face and mock them to the end of the earth for their naivete and piousness was one she fought down often, so having the count voice her slander made some petty part of her sing with joy.
‘Your more than welcome to leave, i believe you should be able to walk out the door’ a dramatic point not out of place on a theater stage, but slightly out of place coming from her wrinkled and creased shirt sleeve, and topped by her cracked nail polish and in some cases torn nails. 
Of course the world had conspired against her appearance in front of the one person in the city who would currently care.
His smug and self assured voice cut through her thoughts, ‘Please you would miss my darling personality’ 
Sharpening her tongue, she lowers her hand and dons a smug grin of her own,  ‘I wouldn't miss the severed heads weighing us down- surely they take up more space than a few books’
A thud through the left wall, and a cut off exclamation accompanied by the sound of swiftly moving hair proved that the tiefling and the half elf had both been, at least to some extent, listening in.
Mentally rewinding the conversation revealed no major conflict, indeed the thief would almost certainly appreciate her joke about the queen, although the rapier wielder was another thing altogether, but one on the fence rather than far out in the field on the opposite side.
The healer in front, on the other hand, had become an order of magnitude more insufferable for his small success in her slip up. Although the jokes on him, given the loudest their conversation got was her sharply revealing the source of the severed heads plaguing the groups various storage's.
Wrapping her hand around the spine of the book splayed open on the covers of her bed, she snapped it shut in an attempt to signal an end to the conversation. 
An attempt that works thankfully, with a mere parting shot of ‘i'll hold you to that promise, and make no promise of my own about hiding the source’ as he turned away to his own corner of the tavern.
A grin slowly built up inside before bursting onto her face as she slipped a hand under her pillow and cracked open the sloppily bound, and disconcertingly bloodstained book hidden underneath.
A delightful read, and insight into the warped minds of the cultists they were fighting, even if some of them were, let's say, lacking imagination. Maybe it would even find its way under the pillow of a certain counts chair.
A book club sounds like the perfect idea to promote conversation and bonds between the ragtag group- she couldn't wait to see what books the count managed to find if it did go ahead.
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seeklovenet · 1 year
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Sugar Baby Headline Examples In Search Of Association Sugar Baby Profile Examples
Sugar Baby Headline Examples In Search Of Association Sugar Baby Profile Examples
Your sugar child headline is important for a selection of causes. First, it’s one of the first things a potential sugar daddy will see when he does a seek for sugar babies. So, you want to make certain your headline is attention-grabbing and displays well seeking arrangement london on you. It's short, although a catchy description of a sugar child. It would not should be a clean, easy "Hi" or "I'm in search of a sugar daddy". A good sugar child profile headline ought to be something intriguing.
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Check the record of the most common mistakes to avoid when choosing your profile pictures. In this text, we are going to let you understand what is a sugar child profile headline, why it is important, how to write a perfect headline and some good and bad examples. Men spend about 5-6 seconds on the profiles of ladies on dating websites .
Keep It Optimistic
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Probably, he’ll begin with look, bodily traits, grooming, and solely then resolve if this girl is definitely value the time to spend on learning her nearer. A sugar daddy won’t neglect the data provided within the profile description provided that a lady meets his expectations visually and is situated close by. Still, the statistics verify that the quality of the profile is intently linked with the success price on the positioning. It’s of utmost significance to have not only an eye catching profile but additionally an informative sugar child bio to draw a potential benefactor. Is it sufficient to satisfy a daddy, you might wonder?
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Write something about your persona, describe your way of life, and tell something about your hopes and inspirations for the longer term. One of the most effective Seeking Arrangements profile suggestions includes being honest, open, and true about your intentions and previous experiences. It will make you much more likable and show your sugar daddy that he can belief you. One of essentially the most informative and influential sections in the profile construction known as shortly About me. It can be discovered almost in all sugar baby profile examples on every web site, but how to make it special? Naturally, it should not only symbolize your personality from the helpful side but in addition explain why sugar daddies would love spending their time with you.
Amusing Sugar Child Bio Or About Me Part
Keep this in thoughts when you’re crafting your headline – you need to be positive that it’s one thing that may enchantment to sugar daddies. Jerry graduated in 2008 with a degree in psychology and was a practicing psychologist for over five years. But his profession took a steep flip in 2013, when he discovered the world of sugar relationship and realized that it’s what interests him the most from the professional point of view. Moreover, as a psychologist with a deep understanding of interpersonal relationships, Jerry knows exactly how to attract your excellent match. Even in case you are a modest woman, you need to overlook about this high quality while filling out your profile. You might imagine some things are obvious, but not for a sugar daddy.
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Sugar Baby Bio + Sugar Baby Bio Examples
It’s better to point out that you're interested by this world and open to one thing new. Show your sense of humor.Teasing and flirtatious humor works nice, whereas irony or sarcasm may be an extreme quantity of. Just like Kim Kardashian only uglier and broke 6. These headings learn like crooked politicians.
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A typo in your username isn't something you want, as sugar daddies and mommies search for brilliant and educated SBs. I am a very petite girl, fairly coy but in addition very quirky and spontaneous. I even have been advised by many, that I am hilarious, humble, an old soul, genuine, "adorkable" and looking for sweetest human being on the planet. I even have examples in different states, consideration Oregon has my heart.
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Just you and me
So, I finally gathered the courage to write something and went for a SuperCorp fanfic, because clearly I am supercorp trash. I haven’t decided whether to post it in AO3 or not but if I do I’ll let you know. English is not my first language so if you get any mistakes or some parts lack cohesion please let me know and I’ll try to fix it. This fic goes by the idea that Kara is a very good scientist, she deserves that much, Lena’s background is canon-like. There are no dialogs, only feelings and senses, hope you like it.
*********
Finding yourself stuck in time is hard, at least that’s what most people would feel like under such circumstances, but not for Lena, not right now, where every single piece of “normalcy” her life had is just beginning to crumble, like a piece of sun-dried bread, or the way eggshells crack after someone steps on them, painfully, noisily, in a million pieces, most of all and beyond everything, they shatter unrecognizably and irreparably. Maybe the cold that such pain leaves behind is what led her to run, maybe it was the sudden fear and tiredness that was left in her, like cold steel in her bones, maybe it was the emptiness that started consuming every truth she thought she knew. It did not matter, she fled, running as fast as she could in those 7-inch Louboutins. She never looked back, not even after her flight landed in National City, not even after setting foot for the first time in her new penthouse in the middle of the city. She never regretted it, at first it was rough, sure, like every bumpy road is, yet, after the first glance she ever took at that blonde hair that day in the park, all doubts were erased off her mind.
*********
It was the end of August, the chilly air that announced a cold winter ahead blew her hair, ruffling it in her face; filling the streets, waking scattered orange and brown-ish leaves that had fallen from nearby trees, whistling on its way through the now almost-bare branches. The wind left behind the soft aroma of wet dirt, freshly baked bread and upcoming rain, heartwarmingly, filling her lungs easily with every breath, puffing visible clouds when exhaling. It was certainly nostalgic, the kind that makes you feel warm and cozy and at the same time makes your eyes prickle with unshed tears. Kara felt that pull, as usual, for everything good her life has had, and everything it had taken from her. She stood on the sidewalk, towards National’s City Central Park, glancing around her, taking in her surroundings when her gaze landed on a particular someone, dragged to her as if her eyes were mere pieces of steel and that woman were a huge neodymium magnet; She found herself staring at a sight she’ll always remember, because at that moment, when she first saw her, she felt a different kind of pull at her heart, the kind that screamed “caution!”, but in the good way, hopefully.
Long before she knew her name, what made her laugh, what made fer fidget with her fingers nervously, but above all, long before she had met that woman with dark long silky hair, forest-green eyes and pearly skin. Long before that gorgeous human being, with such power emanating from her, yet such caring, hopeful eyes, crossed her path, long before she made her feel like flying without actually leaving the ground, mostly, who she would grow to love, maybe, maybe she was fantasizing too much, who could blame her, it surely was a sight to remember.
*********
When the double doors slide open, she’s expecting a no-nonsense, powerful, cold-blooded, cocky-demeanor CEO, what she’s definitely not expecting is for such CEO to be almost precisely all that shaped and carefully placed in a stunning, raven-haired woman, whose green eyes could pierce through your soul and would probably make you spill your darkest and deepest secrets, those that also hide so much fear, making her want to walk over there and pour all her support into a hug. Kara swallows. Nevertheless, there is also something else to this woman’s aura, her posture is perfect, clearly carved into her from a very young age, and her smile is polite but stiff, almost practiced, and still, Kara can feel kindness emanating from her, true deep kindness and care. Something brings her to the present again, her breath hitches, those beautiful eyes are staring intently into hers with curiosity and a hint of amusement. The woman in front of her has managed to steal her breath twice now, which is not something she, the founder and co-owner of a start-up company. Harvard graduate and Kryptonian, finds happening often, she has faced great threats, from grumpy bankers to out-of-space threats as Supergirl, yet, Lena Luthor has managed to make her heartbeat go erratic with a simple gaze. 
The soft scent of an expensive perfume fills the office, something akin cinnamon, vanilla and a little scotch (?). It is dizzying and a little distracting. She somehow manages to go through her proposal for the CEO without stumbling too much and, fortunately, without rambling. Lena seems fascinated by the proposal and agrees to the terms without major modifications to the contract. After both signing, they shake hands, and maybe, just maybe, they linger a little more than needed, both enraptured by the softness of the other’s hand. Lena pulls away first, fingers tingling, feeling the tips of her fingers warm and a lingering scent of something floral, it is electrifying, like a low current cursing through her veins, making her get goosebumps all over her arms, but she doesn’t mind, as her attention is captured by those ocean blue eyes that seemingly hold the weight of the world. She certainly is nowhere close to getting tired of them.
*********
When they signed this partnership, they did not expect it to turn this way, at least Kara didn't, or so she muses while sitting on the ledge of her rooftop. She truly just meant to get funding and maybe get to work a little up-close with the brilliant, certified genius of a woman. Sure, she is gorgeous and incredibly sharp-minded, as proven by so many magazines’ articles having bothered to analyze both qualities deeply and thoroughly; but after that first sight of her, with such strength and determination to her pose, with each powerful step, with every sway of her hips, albeit hiding so much hurt, sadness, and a great burden, brought to her by her last name; a burden that Kara has somehow come know so well, such need to be understood, because, the truth was, that no one had ever lived through loss the way they did. One lost her world, her culture and way of life, but found love and compassion, whereas Lena was denied both from a very short age, living a life without love, compassion, and affection, in a household where the outside cold wouldn’t enter, as the inside was icier. 
The cold nighty wind startles her, it brings to her mind memories of bight smiles, so hard that certain dimples showed, laughs so hard that some wine would be spat on a very white leader couch, sunny days filled with an assortment of foods and a wonderful voice, filling every corner of the room with its melody and a slight accent, becoming more evident when emotion takes a rightful place in her voice, one that comes from a very pale yet very compassionate woman. She has to tell her, it's been just over a year since they first met, but she knows it is time, with them growing closer, she has to tell her she is Supergirl. And yeah, she definitely did NOT expect things to turn this way. (Maybe she kinda did).
**********
When she asked Kara if she understood the quantum mechanics behind the surface plasmon resonance their platinum nanoparticles showed, she wanted to be shaken, mad even, because why wouldn't she, the to-be youngest member of the Science Guild on Krypton? Of course, they didn't have the same metals as they did on Earth, but they understood the physics behind the phenomena. Okay, Lena did do not know her identity, yet, hopefully, but she did have a Bachelor in Mechatronic Engineering and a Master Degree in Advanced Materials, she definitely may have crossed paths with the concept. But hell, how can she be mad when those bright, summer-trees green eyes look at her with such glint of excitement, with a twinkling sparkle or curiosity? Those eyes that were looking at her with a look you give someone you know gets you, beyond understanding your words, those who truly get a grasp of your language, of who you are, what makes you shake with the excitement of a new discovery, a greater challenge. It was then that Kara knew that she could read Lena the way no one had ever done for her, she could grasp what she needed in every moment, what she was thinking, but she also got her sciency stuff, the theoretical jargon, upcoming theories, the physics behind phenomena and she shared her love for technology that could make humans' lives better, longer, healthier. They shared, compassion, vision, passion and... Kara was now almost certain, love.
At least she thinks so, what else could those stolen glances be? She looks up, just to find those forest-green eyes glinting with determination and concentration while those agile slender fingers handle tools and twinkle their way around the solar panel’s circuitry. She is so enraptured by her skills that she mistakenly adds way too much platinum sulfide to the solution, turning it suddenly black and bringing her out of her stupor as the contents boil, violently spilling all over the place, filling the air with a slight scent of iron, evaporated water and burnt plastic. Green eyes break contact with the panel to look towards where strong hands work frantically to turn off the hot plate she was working on, dropping her tools she reaches a hand to help Kara, concerned green eyes looking for any kind of burn injury or spill that may need to be taken care of. After making sure everything is (mostly) okay and that it was just a failed reaction, Kara is suddenly aware of a soft hand pulling her away from the table, vanilla and cinnamon fill the air around her, like a soft embrace, that turns real when Lena pulls her into her arms, a soft bubble surrounding Kara, making her a little giddy and peaceful at the same time. Flowers, fresh-cut flowers is what Lena smells, while she hugs Kara tightly, it is normal to get worried for your best friend after a lab incident, no matter how small, she tells herself, and while it maybe is, it is definitely not normal the way her heart felt like stopping the moment she saw the hot contents of the Erlenmeyer flask spill all over the place, fearing for Kara, feeling it creep up her spine and settle like cold ice on her stomach and lungs, making it hard to breathe.
When strong arms surround her and pull her in tighter, she realizes she has started shaking and hyperventilating, embarrassed she hides her face in the crook of Kara’s neck, and everything fades outside this moment. It is just them, vanilla, and flowers, Kara murmuring sweet nothings into Lena’s ear, hearing her heartbeat even out, and her breathing become normal; and Lena trusting that this person, whose arms seem to be able to lift a bus, whose laugh makes her heart warm and fuzzy, whose smile lights her world and makes her feel safe, cared for and understood; will never let her fall. And perhaps she is right.
**********
Yup, it is definitely love. What else could it be? That snowy January, between hot cocoa and soft muffins, she knew. She is hovering outside her lab, on the outskirts of town, where it was less likely that someone caught her both personas; peeking through the windows, she sees her, Lena is coding the interface that would allow them to take the most efficiency and durability out of the technology they had designed, the mechanical and chemical part was almost done already. She is typing, eyes narrowed in concentration behind thick rimmed glasses, the tip of her tongue poking from a corner of her mouth. And Kara knows, she wants to caress those hands when they were trembling from the winter cold, but also kiss them after a long day working with her computer, she wants to rub her feet after a day filled with meetings and kiss her every time her brilliant mind comes up with a solution for an impossible problem. But above all that, she wants to hold her and whisper into her ear comforting and loving words when she has a nightmare regarding Lex, she knows it’s a common occurrence. She wants to see her crumble knowing that Kara would always hold her and support her, kissing her lovingly every time her insecurities get the best of her. She wants her to feel safe, protected and loved in a way she always deserved but never got.
She sighs, this is it and she knows it, there is not moving forward without coming clean about Supergirl, because, staring at Lena, she knows there is no going back either, looking the way her agile fingers dance around the keyboard as if she were writing a letter to a friend instead of a state-of-the-art software to power and control their recently developed solar panels. She thinks of how beautiful of a soul Lena is, she has such a big heart, she has a huge weight on her shoulders for being a Luthor, a burden which Kara would love to lift from her since it is not hers to carry, it shouldn’t be. Furthermore, she cares so much for the world and the people in it, even for the ones that are not human, unlike her family she is truly kind and compassionate.
Here goes nothing. Kara flies through the lab floor-to-ceiling windows towards the desk where Lena is working, placing beside her the paper bag containing hot cocoa and muffins for her. Due to the cold, the soft warm homey smell soon starts filling the room. Lena looks up smiling, expecting to find Kara behind the treats, but instead, bright green eyes lock with glassy baby blue eyes, trembling lips and fingers fidgeting. Lena stands. She is instantly shaking, whatever it is that could possibly turn the unyielding hero into a crying mess must be of great concern. She steadies herself by grabbing the edge of the table to keep her knees from buckling, knuckles turn white. Green never leaves blue. And just when she is about to ask the hero what brings her here, a strong hand comes to the small of her back to steady her and keep her upright. She has never been this close to Supergirl and at that moment when every sound seems to shut and the air stills, she knows.
She knows why those sky-blue eyes always inspired her such calm and confidence, why she always felt safe in those arms that could bend steel as butter. Because in that moment, when the warmth emanating from that hand starts filtering through her clothes, warming her, her senses are also filled with a smell of flowers, mixed with chocolate and bread, and a hint of mint; when a single tear escapes those ocean blue eyes, she crumbles. She crumbles under that gaze filled with pain and sorrow, filled with such regret that she could feel it creeping through herself, nestling in every corner of her body, making her feel slump and heavy. She also sees intelligence, compassion and strength, qualities she has come to be very familiar with under a blue setting. And so, she grabs the hero’s suit in her fist and buries her face in her chest, a single heart-wreaking cry filling the air. Kara shatters then, knowing how much pain this is causing to a soul that has been betrayed over and over again, who has been abused and pushed to her limits. She knows she is picking an open wound with a stick, and she hates herself for it, for using the same trust Lena gave her against her. They slide to the floor, never letting go of each other, tears falling freely through both their cheeks. Lena breaks into heartbreaking sobs and Kara holds her tighter, as if trying to keep her from falling into pieces, from breaking apart, rocking them both back and forth softly. Lena just cries, screaming from time to time, gripping the fabric so tightly that if it were regular fabric, it would be tearing down by now, but it isn’t, just as the woman holding her, the woman she most certainly is NOT in love with, is not a regular human. They stay there, holding onto each other, never breaking eye contact, the hot cocoa and muffins long forgotten.
**********
She really isn’t mad. She isn’t. So maybe she has been slightly avoiding Kara, but she isn’t mad. Despite her first-instance outburst of emotions, she realized she really isn’t angry at Kara from keeping the Supergirl thing a secret from her, yes, she was deeply hurt and upset but she understands the reasoning behind it, albeit she wishes Kara had told her earlier in their relationship it also makes perfect sense for her to hide it until making sure their relationship was well-founded and strong.
She is quite lost though, there is a small hint of emptiness inside her chest from that day which smelled like chocolate and bread, at first Lena thought she might actually and finally be broken, her heart having taken so many hits already. But the pain eventually faded, and that emptiness never left, on the contrary, it became more present, so much that she was now almost used to it. Like a lingering rock in the bottom of her stomach, or a ball of cotton in her throat, constant, bearable but persistent. And now, as the snow starts melting outside her office she wonders why. She knows why though; she just likes to pretend like she can fool herself.
The morning sun is hitting her office’s windows, warmer than it has been for the past few months and as the first drops of melted snow start to fall from the rooftop to her balcony, the pretense falls to pieces, and she falls along with it. She fumbles with her balcony door and stumbles outside, not even bothering to grab her coat, as soon as she steps outside, she is hit with cold, humid air and slippery floors. Taking huge gasps of cold air to fill lungs that seemingly do not want to be filled.
Maybe this is all she needed, standing on her balcony and glancing at the city, the morning sun casting a bright yellow light over her face, warming her skin softly, while her side in the shadows gets colder every passing second. It is enough, hot and cold, day and night, light and darkness, she always wondered to which side of the scale she tipped the most, she used to believe she was all shadows, a Luthor, and Kara was light, all goodness, she smiles at the irony, a Super. However, while she is taking in the city, calm and almost quiet since it is so early, bright light hitting the buildings and cold, contrasting shadows hiding smaller streets, cars, and people, she gets it. Kara was never all light, and will never be, she has on her shoulders an unbearable pain that will never go away and with her powers come hard choices that no one should ever have to make. And she, she is not darkness, she is both, and she can choose which side to feed, and she wants to choose light, just not any light, one that is personified by blonde hair and ocean-deep blue eyes that she could, and does, get lost into. Maybe, she can bring a certain light to Kara as well, maybe they both deserve it, they deserve each other. Letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding she turned on her heels towards her office and out of it, directly to a certain warehouse on the outskirts of town. The balcony door left open, melted snow glowing gold from the morning sun, dripping into Lena’s office.
**********
Disappointment is that what she feels, no, sadness, for sure, she knew things could go sideways with the whole reveal show and yet, the clench in her heart won’t go away easily, and she knows she absolutely has no right to feel that way, she made that choice, just as she has made every other choice before it. She is tempering with her suit, waiting for her cell culture to finish growing so she can properly test their absorption properties. Soft pop music plays in the background, filling the warehouse with soft notes with a cheesy vibe, the mid-morning sun streams from the windows, lighting the space with an orange-ish golden glow. She finishes her upgrades with a tired huff, never one to hate working on something she surprises herself with such reaction. Groaning with frustration that has nothing to do with her projects and a lot to do with a certain pale powerful, wonderful, CEO.
She walks towards the windows, letting herself bask in the mid-morning light, feeling her powers recharge and her body start buzzing with energy. She clenches her fists, as the warmth caress of the sun on her skin makes her heart ache, missing another entirely different kind of warmth. She leans against a wall and lets her body slide to the ground, bringing her knees to her chest, she closes her eyes, letting herself get lost in the feeling of the sun kissing her skin, softly, almost hesitantly, she can almost picture a certain brunette, softly stroking her cheek, a sweet lovingly caress. A single tear rolls down her cheek from her closed eyes, knowing that such caresses may never be from her, a faith written by her own hand, resulting from her choices, as hard as it is. Letting her straining superhearing and expanding its reach she hears the hustle and bustle from downtown a few kilometers away, she hears the honks of the cars and the heavy panting from people running late for their work, such mundane thing that she may never truly get to live and experience. As her hearing expands, she finds herself focusing in a very well-known heartbeat, one she can distinguish above the sea of heartbeats that flood the city; it is beating absurdly fast, and her first reaction is to focus on her surroundings to find out whether she is in danger or not.
She hears heavy puffs of air, heels clicking steadily and determinately on the pavement, closer with every step, and is she running? Her breath hitches when realization dawns on her, she IS running, towards her. While her mind screams for her to move, to do something, her body is frozen, unresponsive, breath caught in her throat, she absolutely does not understand what is happening and doesn’t know what to expect from the woman that is now reaching her. Before she can dwell on it further, a feminine soft hand with slender cold fingers is touching her knee softly. She is panting from the effort, her breath smells like back coffee and mint, hitting Kara’s face warmly, making her head spin; a slight scent of grounded coffee beams mixed with Lena’s favorite scotch emanates from her clothes, she smells strangely like home; her red lipstick matching her flushed cheeks from running, and Kara cannot help but let her jaw fall open in awe at the sight.
She grabs Lena’s wrists softly and stands up bringing her along. Kara finally gathers her courage and looks at her eyes. She feels like sinking under her gaze, not out of fear, it’s nothing but love and warmth what she sees in those jade-green eyes, feelings she doesn’t feel worthy of, specially not when coming from the Irish goddess. Just when she’s about to close her eyes again, uncapable of keeping her gaze, Lena hooks a finger under her chin and makes her raise her eyes up to hers again. Insecure, scared-like blue puppy eyes find soft-looking bright emerald eyes. It’s understanding what she sees now in those deep green eyes, the same ones that seem capable of reading her like an open book. She lets out a sob, and Lena lets go of her chin, going to grab her hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing her palm tenderly.
The breeze brings to Kara’s nose the scent of Lena’s shampoo, smells like rainy days and autumn leaves, and, as usual, no words are needed when Kara moves her hand from Lena’s lips to cup her cheeks, bringing her other hand up. And, what else can she do other than lean forward? So, she does, she leans forward and kisses her forehead, its soft, tender, like a butterflies’ kiss, just barely brushing her skin, trying to convey her love for her beautiful Genius™ mind, for her brilliance, stubbornness and compassionate selfless soul. She then brushes her lips softly on both her eyelids, trying to convey all the love and regret she feels regarding the way she did Supergirl secret-related things. She parts slowly and watches as Lena opens her eyes fluttering open slowly, bringing her hands up to grab the wrists of the Kara’s hands that are still cupping her face, thumbs softly stroking the inside of the kryptonian’s wrists, she lets out a shaky breath, blue eyes looking at her so lovingly tenderly, with such determination and strength, unyielding as sapphires, she feels no questioning in her heart, this is where she is meant to be, she turns into a mushy puddle and lets herself be drawn into the Girl of Steel.
Kara leans forward and kisses her nose, giggling quietly, Lena simply melts into it feeling a soft warm breath that smells like chocolate and honey, suddenly, the emptiness in her chest melts like ice cream on a hot summer day, leaving nothing but love and warmth, like the one from a fireplace on Christmas Eve. She lets out a shuddering breath, relieved. They lock eyes again, and finally all those unspoken questions find an answer. They lean forward at the same time, their lips meeting in the middle, fitting perfectly against each other. It is warm, tender, loving, and everything it should be, the way every cheesy romantic comedy says it’s like. They pour all their love into that moment, lips moving against each other, chocolate-honey and black coffee.
When they finally part, it’s like breathing for the first time, lungs grasping for oxygen, freshly cut grass, concrete and sun-provided warmth, and it is perfect. Like taking a breath after holding it underwater for a long time, except you never truly knew what breathing was like, until that life-altering breath. They breathe in sync, foreheads touching, Kara’s hands go down to wrap around Lena’s waist, pulling her closer, Lena rests her head softly on Kara’s chest, nuzzling into her neck and closing her eyes, letting herself fall into that fierce love, like an all-consuming fire, she’s been too afraid to open herself to, to be vulnerable. They stay there, enjoying each other’s embrace, the hustle and bustle of the city blind to a beautifully blooming love.
**********
Kara is very clumsy, it does help her keep up her façade, albeit it is also a personal trait of hers. And right now, as she trips on nothing, while standing nonetheless, she makes it extremely evident. Forest green eyes look at her amused from the other side of the door. How does Lena expect Kara not to fall face first to the ground when she is dressed looking like THAT. Wearing a deep red drees that falls softly just below her knees, strapless, leaving her back and cleavage on display, her hair up in a neat bun and her signature 7-inch black heels, Kara definitely stopped breathing, not that she needs to anyway. She stands up awkwardly, taking the dust off her khaki pants and dark blue blazer. Lena cannot hide a smirk after pulling such reaction from no other than Supergirl.
The CEO pulls Kara into her apartment, it smells like vanilla and apples, probably resulting from the many scented candles that Lena likes to light around her apartment. The only light comes from said candles and several Christmas-like light strings that are hanging from the ceiling, giving the place a warm cozy glow. Kara smiles lazily as she leans down to kiss Lena, catching a glimpse of bright emerald eyes melting glimmery before falling shut. She smiles into the kiss. She pulls apart slightly and kisses the tip of Lena’s nose, the raven-haired woman lets out a soft chuckle. Kara grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers, and leads her to the door. Today it’s dinner date day, they are celebrating the successful launch of their joint solar panels project, the best performance ever achieved thanks to a certain Kryptonian’s platinum oxide nanoparticles; and 10 months of full-on dating. As Kara closes the door of Lena’s apartment behind them, the warm smell of the candles fills the hallway and follows them into the elevator, a fluffy plush blanket, a protective mantle surrounding them.
**********
drip…drip… the constant crash of raindrops against the windows surrounding them, rain pouring heavily around them, drowning the usually loud noises of the city’s rush hour, washing away the strong smell of smog. They are tucked under a bus station stop, at least Lena is, Kara is already dripping, since she stubbornly stood outside the small protection the roof offers so Lena and other humas could take cover, she doesn’t get sick anyway. Lena is shivering, although it has been a remarkably hot summer, today was quite a cloudy day and it rained for the most part, resulting in a temperature drop of several degrees. The brunette leans into Kara seeking for her abnormally high body temperature to warm herself up, but the Girl of Steel has other plans, since she cannot fly Lena to their apartment, she might as well take the best out of the situation.
Just as Lena is dropping her full body weight into her, she slides away, pulling Lena’s hand with her, directly into the downpour. Lena gasps when the first heavy drops of the cold water hit her, feeling her clothes get soaked almost instantly, she feels the raindrops roll down her skin and further dampening her clothes, the smell of the rain fully hits her now and when she lifts her eyes from where they were looking at the floor not to trip, she sees Kara smiling her signature megawatt smile at her, completely soaked and intertwining their fingers playfully, so Lena smiles, smiles so hard her dimples show. She lets herself be dragged by Kara, running under the rain, feeling the cold sweeping into her bones, and feeling more whole and filled with happiness than she has in a very long time, if ever.
Kara jumps over a puddle with all the grace of a gazelle, letting go of the CEO’s hand, such displays of her true nature still wonder Lena, just when she is about to make the jump herself, Kara stops and abruptly turns towards her. The world stops. Or maybe she is the one that freezes, the only thing she can hear is the rain pouring heavily around them, and her heart beating erratically in her chest, ringing in her ears, the smell of rain mixes with Kara’s floral perfume, she is getting closer now. The brunette starts shaking, and it has nothing to do with the cold water still running down her body. Kara stands in front of her, soaking wet, dirt all over her jeans from playing in the rain, her hair falls in wet dirty blonde strands around her face, her eyes as baby blue as always are dim because of the raindrops that coat her glasses, and in her soaking hands she’s holding an astonishingly made silver ring, two intertwined silver strings hold one small bright emerald in the middle, the inside of one of the string, in almost unreadably tiny letters reads “You are my hero”. The simplicity of the stone in contrast with the intricate design of the ring.
Lena forgets how to breathe, but Kara understands, so she just waits there, with the most loving smile ever seen stamped on her face. When Lena’s out of body experience ends, she simply nods enthusiastically. And so, the world starts spinning again, the honks of the cars return, engines roaring and muffled conversations, all muted by the rain, washing over them as reality sinks in, they are choosing each other, even when the world has tried to pull them apart repeatedly, furthermore, against each other, for them, none of it matters, just them, here and now, kissing for the first time in hopefully many years to come. Lena lets her hands drape loosely around Kara’s neck, feeling the grounding weight of the ring on her left ring finger, hot against her cold skin, the same way Kara’s hands, which hold her together.
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annecoulmanross · 4 years
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A Re(sponse)-Re-Re-Review, Re: The Terror (2018)
I’ve recently read through all of the gorgeous review posts of The Terror (2018) from @rhavewellyarnbag​ and I just want to say that I think they’re incredibly beautiful and thoughtful responses to this show – all three amazing rounds of them.
I started out simply collecting quotes that were amusing to me, but my notes document very quickly became full of my own responses and confessions. Basically, I ended up making my own response/review of the whole thing, which is what you’ll find in this post.
So, thank you @rhavewellyarnbag​ for your many insightful thoughts about this show and my responses are below the cut! (Also, your repeated efforts to drive Goodsir to the hospital are a truly noble service, and bring me comfort in these dark times.)
01x01 – “Go For Broke” (One, Two, and Three) 
“Ciaran Hinds looks like a grand old walrus.”
This was the line that made me realize I needed to start keeping track of quotes that made me laugh like a seal barking.
“‘You should cherish that man.’ I cherish that fucking line of dialog. I don’t even mean it in a filthy way. That line is so goddamn sweet, I could punch myself in the face.”
Amongst all the beautiful content produced about this show, almost nothing will ever surpass, for me, this description of this line of dialogue paired with that post about “Idiot Boat Caesar, who knows a slow-burn when he sees one.” Sir John has an astonishing capacity to be truly warm on rare occasions, and this is one of the few scenes in which we really get to see James experience that warmth, both genuinely and, here, in the form of a truly gentle, well-meant rebuke that probably cuts James far more than we see.
“This is an interesting scene with the diving suit. This could potentially go very badly. The man in the suit may be dispatched by the mysterious horror following them, or, in order not to give it away, and to show a scientific curiosity, he may die of decompression of the suit.”
Fun fact: one of my great-grandfathers apparently died of decompression from using an early-model diving suit. I learned this when I was word-vomiting to my mother about The Terror. I am now even more terrified of historical diving suits. All diving suits, really.
“If James’ characterization plays around with gender, it does so in this sense: James is constantly acted upon, by the bullet that wounded him, by the disease that fells him, by others’ opinions of him.”
Watch me attempt to cite your reviews of the The Terror in a dissertation, because everything about this description is exactly the gender framework around which I’ve draped the two historical men with whom I’ve fallen in love, one being my actual subject of research, the other being James Fitzjames.
“I’ve previously compared James’ bravery, his very person, to a woman’s beauty: bestowed upon her, not earned; understood to be temporary; dependent upon others’ admiring, desiring of it. Does James exist when no one is around to observe him?”
I adore everything about this description and also it makes me cry.
“There are a great deal of unfortunate classical references in this episode.”
This is my entire mood about The Terror, always. The nods to Philoctetes and Medea as components of the Argonaut myth that Sir John invokes are also distinctly worth exploring in this context, though I’m not going to do so here because the Argonautica (broadly speaking) is not my speciality.
01x02 – “Gore” (One, Two, and Three)
“James and Sir John are about the same height. They look not dissimilar, which James probably liked.”
Oh James.
“Strangely, [Sir John] doesn’t seem particularly pleased with James, who adores him.”
It’s true, and it’s quite painful. I don’t think Sir John is a good role model for James, but it doesn’t lessen the fact that I know James is perceptive enough to know that he’s not being adored in return, and that’s a brutal thing to know.
“You don’t have to be a drunk redheaded sea captain to see that James is empty, hollow, aching, desperate to be the things he tells you he is, desperate to see himself reflected back at himself. Desperate to be loved.”
I have a type, and this is it, apparently.
“Goodsir is a character from another sort of work, entirely. That’s its own kind of tragedy, the tragic juxtaposition. Goodsir is a sweet, gentle, utterly ordinary little pudding, an incidental character plucked from a more innocent narrative, and he’s no-doubt going to die horribly.”
This is the early impression of Goodsir, before any of us see what’s beneath Goodsir’s surface, but it’s also not wrong at all. In another sort of work (perhaps, as noted, a work by Jane Austen), Goodsir is (uniquely, among these men, perhaps) capable of living a sweet, gentle, utterly ordinary little life, with a more innocent narrative.
“It’s strongly implied that Irving’s imagination is so open that he has to work to close it.”
That’s certainly true of the historical Irving, as I read it. I have many more complex thoughts and feelings about Irving now than I did after just watching the series through the first time, but I’m not sure whether that’s because his story-line is actually rich, or because I’ve come to like him separately. (Unlike, for instance, Fitzjames, whom I have come to adore separately, but I can safely say does also have a rich story-line in these ten episodes.) The real Irving is more elusive than I think I at least gave him credit for originally.
“Oh, James Fitzjames, you overly-familiar little strumpet, you.”
I’m sobbing.
“Scurvy doesn’t care what kind of person you are.”
In many ways this is true, because we do see scurvy acting indiscriminately on different men, here, without a care for age or station or morality. But also scurvy, in this narrative, attacks most vividly those with some sort of previous wound that the scurvy can reopen. Notably James, but also Morfin, whose flogging-scars we never see but can assume from his conversation (also, for that matter, Jopson, who, historically, had a major scar on his leg, of unknown origin). Scurvy may not truly care what kind of person you are, but if you’ve led a dangerous life, scurvy has one more way to hurt you.
“Who among us has not been desperate to discuss our interests, to the point where there is almost a flirtatious edge to the broaching of the topic?  One must be careful, so as not to give away too much, both for the gentle handling that one’s interests require, and for the sake of not alienating some poor rando who made the mistake of asking a bland, vague question simply to be polite.”
Ah, so I see you understand, then. I’ve taken to apologizing in advance of discussing the gorier elements of the Franklin expedition, as though I’ve exposed myself in public. (But seriously, this is the most excellent description of the discomforting feeling of very more obsessed with something than is socially acceptable.)
01x03 – “The Ladder” (One, Two, and Three) 
“John Ross is the Jacob Marley figure, I take it.”
The beginning of many intriguing resonances between this show and Dickens’s Christmas Carol, and I think, one of the most elegant. The actor who plays John Ross would be an excellent Jacob Marley.  
“Jopson would not talk about Francis’ drinking! You take that back, Gibson.”
This is what I adore about Thomas “Mr. Hears Everything” Jopson – he’ll only ever tell things about others to Francis; he’d never tell things about Francis to others. That’s a moral compass upon which we can unerringly rely, and one that is in no way affected by the magnetic changes at either pole.
“The spyglass sticks to the skin above Francis’ eye, as though it wished to force him not to look away.”
This is an amazing take, especially re: the way spyglasses are used to show foresight and the future in this show. Francis is forced to know look at what is coming for them, the future that waits ahead, hungrily salivating for his men.
“James is completely shattered, but he looks luminously beautiful.”
He does, doesn’t he?
01x04 – “Punished As A Boy” (One, Two, and Three)
“Lady Jane’s response is: ‘Fuck you. I know Charles Dickens.’”
Much as I detest Dickens, and much as I have my own problems with Lady Jane, she is never anything less than badass, particularly here.
“Lady Jane, clad in burgundy, ‘the wine-dark sea,’ stands between Francis and Sophia.”
Oh good god that’s it, though? It was through Lady Jane that I first found the Franklin Expedition, oh, four years ago (it feels like four hundred), and the first thing I ever said about the matter was “I’m confident that she knew Greek.” I’ve never been able to prove it, but she writes, in her letters, like someone who reads Greek. Lady Jane is well and truly our Homeric Hera. Brilliant and vengeful and matronly and brutal. I do adore her.
“Of course Goodsir’s never been lashed.  He’s a nice man.  He’s probably had the opposite of a flogging.  People probably throw roses at him when he walks down the street. I know I would.”
I’d be happy to attend this rose-throwing Goodsir-parade. I already have a bad habit of bringing roses to the pseudo-graves of historical men whom I love; we can add Goodsir to the list without too much hassle.
01x05 –  “First Shot’s A Winner, Lads” (One, Two, and Three) 
“[Re: James and “Your nails are a terror, Mr. Wentzall]…the checking of collars and fingernails is a very maternal duty.”
I love spotting feminine traits in James, but what I’m getting out of this is actually imagining James’s adoptive mother Louisa Coningham examining the fingernails of a very young James. It’s an adorable, if slightly tragic, image.
“Irving doesn’t seem like a hard man, but like a man trying desperately to be hard, and often failing. He should have forgotten about the navy, stayed on land, gone to France and become an early Impressionist painter.”
This fantastic description of Irving makes it even more tragic that he DID try to forget about the navy and stay on land, and it didn’t work. Canon divergence AU where Irving moved to France instead of Australia?
“We’re told, repeatedly, including by Goodsir, himself, that Goodsir isn’t a doctor.  It’s a fundamental misunderstanding: people think they know who Goodsir is, or who he wishes to be, but Goodsir has no desire to be anything but what he is. Perhaps appropriately, it’s Hickey who recognizes and names Goodsir (“You’re an anatomist.”) One may say that Hickey ‘reads’ Goodsir. Though, Hickey’s understanding is, as it often is, flawed.  He may know what Goodsir is, but he doesn’t know who Goodsir is.”
I very genuinely wonder – did Goodsir want to be thought of as a doctor, by any of them? What were Goodsir’s thoughts and preferences on the matter?
01x06 – “A Mercy” (One, Two, and Three)  
“What Sir John left them was a means of dissembling, a facade. Cheer in a cheerless time, which holds the dangerous allure of forgetting.”
This is perfect, because Carnevale, at its center, is “the dangerous allure of forgetting,” in no small part because, structurally, Carnevale fills the role of the Homeric island of the lotus-eaters. (It is also a labyrinth, though, and that’s an interesting doubling.)
“The half masks in the trunk have the semblance of the faces of dead men we’ve seen. The creature has the habit or practice of biting a man’s head in two, or biting off part of the cranium.”
I had never noticed this but it’s entirely true.
“Francis is bracketed by Thomas’, neither one of them a doubter.”
I will SCREAM
“‘I don’t like to hear a woman laughing now.’  I suppose it’s fortunate that Jopson’s professional life allows him to be around men, exclusively.  What would Jopson have done later in life?  Marriage is obviously out of the question if women’s mirth causes him such distress.  Would he have stayed on boats?  Francis promotes him to lieutenant, but would that have made him happy?  He has a love of, an instinct for caring for others that obviously can’t be transposed onto a marriage, both because of Jopson’s limits and because of Victorian gender roles.  The best possible course for Jopson would have been valet, a gentleman’s gentleman.  His rank and background would have made him an asset, and no more devoted valet would there have been.”
The fanfic writes itself. (I have nothing to say yet, I just adore this speculation; more below, though.)
“The drop of blood falling from James’ hairline onto the mask’s cheek to make a kind of morbid beauty spot is a gorgeous image, like a piece of decadent poetry.”
I personally find James unbearably beautiful, and the whole extended sequence with the dress and the drinking and the blood dripping is so subtle and lovely and I think, like with poetry, what we get out of it is never simple.
“James is dressed as Britannia. Which makes James mother to them all.”
Though I, selfishly, would have loved to see James in something more scandalous than his Britannia costume, I think it’s symbolically the best possible choice for him. This is an outfit that is technically crossdressing, but it’s very subtle thanks to the choices James makes – we don’t see any dramatic woman’s wig or other feminine elements. This is an outfit that reminds the men of home; reminds James of home, and of his adoptive mother, whose poetry was full to the brim and spilling with Britannia.
“Blanky looks great. I wonder if the visual reference to the Ghost of Christmas Present is intentional.”
I’ve always assumed he was meant to be Bacchus, but of course the Ghost of Christmas Present has more than a little Bacchus in him also. All of these Christmas Carol overlaps are exceedingly interesting – John Ross’s Marley warning Franklin’s Scrooge, and now the Ghost of Blanky Present reminding Crozier that others are – for good or ill – having fun without him.
“One may imagine that Edward has disguised himself as someone who enjoys parties.”
OH GOD.
01x07 – “Horrible From Supper” (One, Two, and Three)  
“Hickey can’t move on from humiliation, because he would see that as more humiliation. Keeping the humiliation alive in his mind is the only way to gain some mastery over it. He holds the wound open, so that no one can deny that it’s a wound, that it happened, that it mattered, that he matters, but it means that he can never heal, never be whole. Scurvy.”
The Hickey/Fitzjames parallels are STRONG here. Also, this resonates really well with a conversation I had with a friend about Eleanor Guthrie from Black Sails – she’s unable to move past being hurt and I just can’t fault her for it, even as her stubbornness just hurts her more. And I feel that sympathy for James, too – he’s bottled up so much hurt inside, and it has kept hurting him his entire life. If Hickey didn’t “hold the would open” by, you know, making wounds in other people, literally, I’d probably even feel bad for him.
“There is an emotional and psychological toll, which Francis tries desperately to reduce by keeping the men together, reinforcing the bonds between them, persistently humanizing them.”
The Jopson’s promotion scene warms me on cold nights. That’s all.
“Jopson’s role is the opposite of Lady Silence’s: the fact of her gender alters nothing about it; Jopson’s informs it.  Make Jopson female, and he clearly functions as Francis’ wife.  If Jopson is male, though, what is he?  A paid servant, in the literal sense, but his obvious pleasure at caring for Francis long ago eroded the patina of duty.  I think we can safely say that Jopson loves Francis, loves and cares deeply for him.  Is invested in Francis’ safety, well-being, happiness.  Enjoys the details of his service to Francis, beyond the enjoyment of a job well-done.  Add a sexual component, and it becomes a marriage.  Leave it out, and the relationship is something else.  Drop Jopson into a marriage with a woman, and he becomes a husband.  Leave him with Francis, and he remains Francis’ wife.”
This is what I find so fascinating about Jopson – everything about his identity has the potential to be contingent, to change, but as the expedition’s tragedy unfolds, we see all of the possible threads of Jopson’s future cut off, one by one. From the beginning, Jopson can’t be female, and thus can’t serve a wifely role in British society, even though he’s clearly fit for it. We learn that Jopson has some very specific PTSD triggers related to women that might prevent him from ever being married to one, even if he wanted to be. Jopson seems to wish to continue serving Francis in perpetuity, to continue being as close to a wife as Francis will ever have, but Francis, sober, no longer needs the same kind of care that Jopson used to provide, and, eventually, Jopson becomes unable to care for Francis at all, so that Francis has to care for him. Jopson is all change, all tragedy.
“I would like to thank the director, cinematographer, anybody else who may be responsible for that stunning shot of James in profile. James really is beautiful, even, maybe particularly, at this stage of his infirmity. I’ve said it at other times, but there’s something, well, I suppose, romantic about his illness, because he is young, and beautiful, and heroic, so desperate to be loved, and so loved, in the end.”
*sighs* I’m not okay about James.
01x08 – “Terror Camp Clear” (One, Two, and Three) 
“I don’t know how I didn’t notice before, but James is a leggy creature.”
I will still treasure the term “a leggy creature” when I am in my grave.
“Sir John was not a top, and I know that for a fact, because I just got Lady Jane on the Ouija board, and she told me.”
I WILL SCREAM.
“[Francis] doesn’t look on James as a sick person in need of careful handling. There’s no sense of the separation necessary for pity between Francis and James. He is this way toward James because he cares about James.”
I know we all joke about the quote “it’s rotten work” / “not to me, not if it’s you,” but this is what that quote has always meant to me (the Anne Carson of it, that is, not the original Greek). Caring for someone via pity, via distance, takes effort, is painful, is rotten, even though it is sometimes worth it. Caring for someone via care, via love may still take effort, and may still even be painful, but there is no separation, no alienation, from the service of providing care. That’s where Francis’s tenderness comes from, I think. That closeness.
“James, you big, beautiful racehorse.  Even chapped and cracked, he’s radiantly beautiful.  He has such a warm quality.”
In the confessional spirit of this review, I will admit: I find James more attractive than I am capable of expressing. The interesting thing, to me, is that I don’t have the same response at all to Tobias Menzies or to any other character I’ve seen him play. He’s a great actor, certainly, but he doesn’t do it for me. But James does. I’m still puzzling this out.
“James’ bravery is treated somewhat like a woman’s beauty, in that he believes it to be conditional, temporary. It’s dependent on others’ appreciation of it; when he’s alone, James doesn’t feel brave.”
I will say, admitting that it’s probably James’ femininity that is attractive to me gets you a long way toward understanding why I do find him so terribly appealing.
“Oh, please, baby Jesus, don’t let Jopson flip. Jopson’s one of the few things I have left to hang onto, here.”
Jopson will never flip, such that Jopson’s death really is the point of no return, here. He’ll die before he flips. (Notably, it’s important to be clear that by “flip,” I mean turn his loyalties away from Crozier. I have reconciled myself to the idea that, though Jopson is upright and innocent in a way even my James isn’t, he is capable of violence and even unjustified, offensive violence. But only ever in the service of his captain.) And again here, Jopson very well might not be immune to the seduction Hickey’s definitely attempting, but bending to Hickey’s wiles means betraying Crozier, and that’s an impossibility for Jopson.
“Bridgens, who’s a cozy old piece of furniture…”
….and Henry Peglar would like to sit on him. (I get it Henry, I do.)  
01x09 – “The C, the C, the Open C” (One, Two, and Three) 
“Oh, Bridgens. Where’s Henry? Where did Henry go?”
I think a real triumph of this show is getting you to know, by this point, that when you see Bridgens, you should ALWAYS ask yourself, “Where’s Henry?” Because yeah, “They are each other’s loved one,” and there can’t be either one of them without the other. Bridgens knows this, and makes himself into a memorial for Henry. The only kind of monument Henry Peglar can ever have: Bridgens, with his own body, preserves Peglar’s words for the future, for us. I’m just going to cry for Bridgens and for Peglar for a minute, that’s all. Please excuse me.
“Hartnell watches Bridgens pick up Peglar, Peglar’s arm around Bridgens like, ‘… Wait a minute…’ Hartnell also misses Hickey’s innuendo about Armitage.  Tom Hartnell tragically has no gay-dar.”
Oh precious Hartnell. This lack of gay-dar is part of why Hartnell had to get written out of what I’m currently writing (I’m sorry Hartnell! It’s not you it’s me.)
“There’s something of a horrible wooing about it: Goodsir, like an unwilling bride, forcibly taken from his own people by unscrupulous men, installed in as luxurious surroundings as can be had, with his trousseau, for the purpose of catering to an unspeakable hunger.  His innocence is taken from him, and he’s turned against himself. His body is stripped naked and consumed.”
(a) What a horrible and horribly accurate description. (b) This is another one of those places where this show is unafraid to place male characters into narrative metaphors of womanhood. For me, the most vivid is always Jopson, but Goodsir is also often made to face this sort of feminine role, and for Goodsir it’s so much more often about violence and shame.
“James says “I’m not Christ,” before he tells Francis to feed the men his body.  It seems like something of a non sequitur, until one imagines James’ train of thought.  As the impulse to give his body to the men occurred to him, so may have also come a last flicker of self-mockery: “What, James, do you think you’re Christ, now?”  So that his announcement that he’s not Christ comes in response to this: he knows who he is, and who he isn’t.  Finally, he knows this.”
I think that’s exactly what went through James’s head. And more than that, I think back on that beautiful gif-set that placed James’s “I’m not Christ” beside Francis’s “Like Christ, but with more nails.” Francis, whose self-hatred is clear and undisguised, begins to heal by recognizing what is Christ-like in himself: his suffering, and the compassion that is borne from the suffering. James, whose self-hatred is buried under masks and lies and stories and gilded dresses, begins to heal by admitting what is not Christ-like about him: his mortality, his humanity; and that doesn’t make James any lesser, and James finally, finally begins to see so.  
“Can’t Jopson’s story end differently, this time?”
That’s what hurts. In no version of this story that happens with Hickey AND the Tuunbaq AND the inevitable deaths of 129 men, should James die any different, or Goodsir, or Bridgens. If they were going to die, they should do so showing bravery and brotherhood; agency and defiance; commitment and love. There are other men who deserved so much better than the ignoble deaths they got (Irving comes to mind) but Jopson is the warmest light and receives the coldest death. There’s no reason for his story NOT to end differently, except for the sheer narrative cruelty of it all. The Terror is brilliant because it knows to reserve this sort of agony for the worst possible gut-punch. Any more than one, or maybe two, utterly, pointlessly cruel deaths, and we would be immunized. But we have no immunity to prepare us for the dizzying nausea of Jopson’s death.
“The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.  Death, ultimately, isn’t mysterious. Whatever might happen to one afterwards is immaterial to the living, still bound to this plane of existence.  One may fear it, but once it happens, it’s over.  Love is a way of life, though.  It changes over time.  It changes the person who feels it, and the person they feel it for.  Both Francis and Jopson were changed by their love for each other.  Jopson goes to one mystery still in the grip of the other: it’s Francis he sees, reaches for, cannot touch.”
Jopson’s death is still haunting me. It’s like Tantalus, all that food that would save Jopson’s life, if only he could eat it, and yet he crawls right past, toward Crozier. What does that say about Jopson? The way the world tortures him is to hold Crozier just outside of his reach – what on earth is Jopson being punished for? (These aren’t intelligible thoughts anymore; I’m just broken-hearted for my boy.)
“In a narrative that encourages empathy for everyone and everything from a colonial expedition to a monkey to an eldritch monstrosity that rips men’s heads off, why should Hickey be exempt?”
A beautiful way of putting it. I’m still working through my initial disgust at Hickey, but intellectually, I can’t help but agree.
01x10 – “We Are Gone” (One, Two, and Three)
“…the experience of being through so much with these characters that I care about so much has been like living several lifetimes.”
My mother, who has not yet watched this show, told me recently that she thinks these characters have become my family. In part, this is due to the historical research I’ve been doing on the real men of the Franklin expedition, but the show played its own large role in making me fall in love with these men, making me desperate to live as many lifetimes with them as possible.
“Why does Goodsir do it, though?  He seems to have made up his mind before Francis appears, and with Francis comes the hope that Edward will rescue them.  If anything, Francis’ presence makes Goodsir more resolute.”
As another dear friend said, Goodsir definitely had the plan in mind before Francis showed up, but the plan needed a trigger: it needed Francis, a good man worth dying for. Someone for Goodsir to look at and say, “Maybe my actions will help this man.”
“I think I just confessed to being in love with a man who doesn’t exist.”
Ahh, this lovely club. Even the men I’m in love with who actually lived two thousand years ago don’t really exist, at least not in the way I love them.  
“The Terror is like a play put on by a theater company that has no female actors, so all of the men must play female roles…without any women to place in certain contexts – caretaker; lover; victim; object of desire – those dramas necessarily play out on the bodies of the men.”
Watch this space. The Terror is a classical Greek tragedy, and I can prove it.
The description of Goodsir’s preparation for death is richer and more complete than anything I will ever write. GO READ IT.
I also think it’s fascinating to see this scene through the eyes of a reviewer who readily admits “This is an unusual case. I like Goodsir. I don’t usually like the men I’m looking at. I care for Goodsir.” I confess that, though I also like and care for Goodsir, when I am looking at “eroticized male bodies” in media, I only really “feel at home in a text” when I also like and care for those men. If a male character is too morally objectionable to me, I find no erotic appeal to viewing him, because I am so distracted by my own sense of his evils. I simply cannot find anything to pull me, aesthetically or sexually, to someone like Hickey. (I can never find anything sensually appealing about Hickey/Tozer, for instance.) I am pulled to James, in contrast, because he is beautiful to me visually, and because his life (as far as I can see) shows me a person who cared, who tried, who loved. Who is worthy of my care and trust.  And though I don’t think I’m in love with Goodsir in the same way than I am with James, I care deeply for Goodsir and thus can find the appeal in watching him, visually.
“‘There is wonder here.’/ ‘Then, there will be the angels.’ The first thing angels ever tell any human being who beholds them is not to be afraid.  Wonder isn’t always delightful, isn’t always something that humans can understand, or possibly, even, survive.”
Fear is something I don’t often enough examine closely with this show, though it is so terribly central. “Be not afraid” and “We have too much fear.” How can one dispel fear? Wonder obviously isn’t enough; wonder might even make it worse. Being told not to fear rarely works out so well for those visited by angels. I think, sometimes, that all we can do is – as Peglar does – admit to those we love that we have too much fear, and hope that they can help us carry it.
I can’t NOT give you the end of the first round of these reviews, because, like the description of Goodsir’s preparations, it’s literature: 
“The Terror, a show taking place one hundred, sixty years ago, manages to be timely without even trying.  Lead poisoning.  Environmental catastrophe.  The baggage of colonialism.  The treatment of indigenous people by white people. Information and misinformation.  What it means to be a leader.  What it means to be in a marriage.  The role of women in society.  Gay marriage.  Income inequality.  Ethical consumption.  Consumerism. Members of the armed forces working far from home.  Mental health. Addiction.  All of these fit neatly into what can also be taken at face value, a well-constructed and -acted tale of adventure and loss set in a faraway place and time.  The Terror never tries to force meaning on the viewer, never struggles under the weight of its lofty aspirations- because it has no aspirations.  It’s an utterly guileless production, seeking nothing but to present its characters and situations honestly.  In doing such a simple thing, it has created the world.”
And, finally, I leave you with: “I’m not looking for a way out.  I just want more time with the characters. I don’t want to leave them.” To me, this gives an answer to David Solway’s question “Do you have a tolerance for ongoing narratives which generally turn out to be the same narrative?” And that answer is “yes.” I think there’s a tolerance – or, even, a hunger – for ongoing narratives that turn out to be the same narrative, in this fandom, because why would anyone want a way out anymore, if it means the end of our time with these characters?
I know I don’t.
“The end of The Terror isn’t a sad end, nor is it a hopeful one.  It’s not even properly an end, because we know what comes next. What comes next? Well, we do.”
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shirtlesssammy · 5 years
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9x10: Roadtrip
Then:
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The less I say about Kevin dying, the better.
Now:
So I never like to see a Winchester say goodbye to another hunter when there’s a pyre involved, but this opening montage is pretty well done. Bob Seger really is a great choice. Dean is in a really bad place —like smashing furniture bad. Eeef.
Rock concert time: Well, what we’re supposed to believe is a rock star getting the rundown on the upcoming concert.
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They open his room at the venue to find Sam Ezekiel Gadreel. The rock star doesn’t mind (and is it just me who’s never bought the acting here?) Anywho, he calls his assistant a bitch and tells her to get lost. Classy AF. The rock star is really an angel named Thaddeus though. It seems that Thaddeus tortured Gadreel when he was imprisoned in Heaven. He was just doing his job, man, chill out! Torturing Gadreel’s boyfriend Abner though? Totes for fun. (And I realize that the construct of relationships/attraction/companions to angels is foreign to them which is why Cas’s attachment to Dean is so compelling —so human of Cas— but I’ve always been fascinated with this comment —and later when Gadreel and Abner actually interact. I will always read that their attachment ran deeper than regular angel brotherhood?? But that opens another whole can of worms and I’m not going there.) Loong story short, Gadreel stabs him with his angel blade.
Dean is packing up his gear when Cas appears in the war room. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other in a while. Cas has angel grace again. He notices the chaos of the library and Dean tells him what happened. 
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Dean tells Cas that he’s going to kill the angel that killed Kevin. Cas reminds Dean that will also kill Sam. Dean has major regret for allowing Gadreel to possess Sam.
*Classic DeanCas dialog Alert*
Dean: God, I was so damn stupid.
Cas: You were stupid for the right reasons.
Cas continues to reassure Dean that what he did was right and he tells Dean that if Sam knew an angel was possessing him, he’d be strong enough to cast the angel out. They will have to bypass the angel to get to Sam somehow. They need Crowley, who’s still chained up in the dungeon.
He wants to negotiate. Dean agrees on taking Crowley out of the dungeon for his help with breaking through to Sam.
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Since Gadreel took Baby (the real travesty of the whole situation, amirite?), the trio walk to Cas’s car that inexplicably stopped working a couple miles from the bunker. A demon under Abaddon’s rule sees them. Once at the car, Dean quickly figures out that it’s out of gas. As they pile into the car, Crowley calls “shotgun”, but Dean tells him he’s in the back. That prompts a very smug smile from Cas, before Dean tells him, he’s in the back too, to watch over Crowley. LAME.
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At the bar that Gadreel’s first vessel just happens to work at, Metatron meets up with Gadreel and the tablets. They discuss Metatron’s Arya Stark list. The killing of Kevin Tran didn’t sit well with Gadreel and he didn’t kill Dean because he wasn’t on the list. Metatron gives him another name. Gadreel balks at it, but Metatron makes it clear that in order to prove himself, he’s got to do what Metatron tells him to do.
At a business, Cas, Crowley, and Dean wait for one of Crowley’s contacts to meet them. This associate can track anything and will be able to find Sam. His contact finally calls for Crowley and will only meet with him. Once alone Cecily and Crowley discuss how hot Cas is.
Downstairs, Cas can’t hear the conversation due to it being warded. Great.
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Crowley and Cecily also discuss Abaddon and Crowley asks for her to find the Impala. They learn it’s in Summerset, Mass. And off they go!
Cut to the Impala (and Gadreel) pulling up to a house where the next person on Metatron’s list lives. When Gadreel sees the man, he realizes that it’s actually Abner (his boyfriend). They’re both shocked to see each other. Abner (or the man he’s possessing) has a family. He tells Gadreel to come back in a couple hours so they can catch up. (Someone please just explain the angst and yearning in this scene, plz?)
Fade to later, Gadreel and Abner are in his living room and catching up. 
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Abner has changed. He has a simple life and he’s making amends. Gadreel tells him that he killed Thaddeus. Abner just wants to forget all that they went through. He loves his family and they love him.
Cas and Dean are just strolling down the street five feet apart because they’re just dudes that do that. 
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They find the Impala and enter the dark home. Dean finds a dead Abner on the floor and Gadreel washing his hands in the kitchen. He quickly takes out Dean, but Cas is waiting in the trenches and punches Gadreel out (like, that shouldn’t affect an angel but I like to believe that Sam’s noggin is SO soft that it’s just an auto response to the vessel at this point) Also, SWOON BAMF CAS.
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Elsewhere, Abaddon chats with Cecily who reveals what she knows of Crowley’s current status. She also lets slip that she helped Crowley out with a little favor. When she tries to explain that she’s cleverly playing both sides, Abaddon shows her appreciation with the ol’ knife-to-the-chest.
Back with the angel crew, Sam/Gadreel is tied to a chair while Cas, Dean, and Crowley interrogate him. Cas has never seen the angel possessing Sam before and they demand his true identity. Dean orders him out of his brother. Cas confirms that Sam’s injuries are no longer life threatening and he can help to heal him now. So it’s safe for Sam to be SANS….SERAPH. 
Crowley begins to stick needles into Sam’s head. UGH GROSS. It’s not pleasant. Sam/Gadreel screams and whimpers in agony. Dean eventually can’t take it and leaves the immediate vicinity. Cas follows him out. He understands; it’s hard to see his friend suffering. Dean changes the subject: how is Cas? 
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Dean inquires with great sensitivity about Cas’s power up. It’s just like changing out the batteries, yes? Errrrrrrrrrr not quite. Dean apologizes for kicking Cas out of the bunker and we cry in his face a little bit. The worst thing is how Cas looks surprised...like he doesn’t think anything warrants an apology. They both admit to make mistakes. 
*Classic DeanCas dialog Alert*
Dean: We’re a couple of dumbasses?
Cas: I prefer the word trusting. Less dumb. Less ass.
Excuse me while I build a shrine around this scene and light some votive candles.
Crowley interrupts with a breakthrough on Sam. Does this count as Interrupting!Sam? Sam/Gadreel starts rattling off Enochian, including the name “Gadreel.” Cas looks like a building stormcloud. He’s never seen Gadreel, because he’s been locked away in Heaven’s prison for pretty much their entire existence. It turns out that Gadreel’s backstory isn’t terribly innocent: his main claim to fame was letting Lucifer into the Garden. Castiel clearly bears an old angelic grudge against the guy: God left because of Gadreel. It’s hitty-kicky time.
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Dean has to hold Cas back. (Or, Cas lets Dean pull him back.) 
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Gadreel smirks at them and mocks their efforts to unlock Sam’s consciousness. Dean looks like a caged squirrel and demands that Cas possess Sam so he can help oust Gadreel. Cas is horrified - also he CAN’T because Sam can’t consent to it. Crowley clears his throat and raises his hand. He can jump into any ol’ head he wants. Cas looks appalled at this suggestion but Squirrel asks him to burn off Sam’s warding tattoo. It’s time to let Crowley jump into Sam’s head, as well. Crowley’s price is his freedom. 
Crowley’s a man of his word, at least. He sits down across from Sam and the chains are removed. Dean hands over their code word, “Poughkeepsie.”
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With Crowley poking around inside Sam’s head, Dean resumes pacing the room worriedly. We jump into Sam’s head. He’s in the bunker library working on a case - a ghoul is after dead cheerleaders.
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Crowley pops in and immediately says “Poughkeepsie” to stop Sam from freaking out. He quickly explains the situation and when Sam doesn’t believe him, shoots Sam right in the chest. Ah, that Crowley! An expert communicator. Sam’s fine, of course, and now he starts to listen to Crowley. 
In a montage, Sam remembers everything that’s happened with Gadreel, starting from the hospital and ending with killing Kevin. (Poor, sad Sam.) “Cast the punk ass, holy roller out!” Crowley exclaims. Right on, man! 
Gadreel appears and Crowley faces him. Gadreel is clearly more powerful and chucks Crowley across the imaginary library. Quick, Sam! Imagine heaps of pillows! Crowley demands that Sam take control and cast out Gadreel. Sam hits Gadreel in the head then tackles him and orders him out. And BOOM! Done.
Cut to Metatron hanging out by Gadreel’s old vessel. Gadreel streams in like a river of life and possesses the bartender again. “Let me guess. Winchester trouble?”
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Sam wakes up, as does Crowley. Hooray! You won! Victory lap time. There’s a noise outside. It’s Abaddon! Crowley tells them to sneak out the back door so that he can stall Abaddon for them. Hey, thanks man. They quickly flee while Crowley settles into the interrogation chair like it’s a throne.
Abaddon bursts inside and Crowley swivels in his improved throne. “Hello, darling.” Abaddon orders her minions to kill Crowley, but they’re not willing to take sides. 
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Crowley directs a speech to them. He’s back and ready to rumble. “You think this is a fight,” he tells Abaddon. “But it’s a campaign.” He’s out to win hearts and minds. 
Cas does an initial healing on Sam.
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Dean faces the music with Sam. He has no remorse for lying to Sam because it saved his life, but he recognizes that Sam is greatly aggrieved. Dean knows he’ll burn for what happened to Kevin, as well. (Does he still feel this way, I wonder?) He’s going to finish the fight against Abaddon and Gadreel alone. He’s poison, after all, and not the fun rock band kind. “I’ll do it alone,” he insists. “People get close to me, they get killed. Or WORSE...”
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Dean peels back his enormous well of self-loathing to tell Sam that he’s unwilling to drag anyone along on his tour-de-bad-choices. Sam tells him to leave, and then Cas watches Dean get in his car and drive off alone. 
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Stare at These Quotes Long Enough and You’ll See a 3D Unicorn:
Why be an angel when you can be a god?
Human Castiel? Eh. But feathered Castiel? Pffhhh.
“The three amigos ride again.” “He’s not my amigo.”
I wanna talk about anything that isn’t a demon sticking needles into my brother’s brain.
You ruined the universe, you damn son of a bitch!
Right now I’m the goodest guy you got.
Everyone gets a say, a virgin, and all the entrails they can eat.
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Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 
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cath-with-a-c · 5 years
Text
When there really was no other way - a different father-son dynamic in AC (rant)
This is a continuation of my other post, focusing a lot on the relationship between William and Desmond, where I talked about the abusive behavior, and how it seems to be lowkey condoned in a lot of media. Warning - this post is super long
One of the most popular defenses when it comes to parental abuse is the idea that “there was no other way”, that in order for the child to benefit in the long run you have to hurt them now. The real-world example would be medical procedures and certain types of physical therapy, that hurt no matter how gently you go about them, but they are important to the child’s well-being and/or survival.  In fiction, particularly in fantasy/sci-fi, it’s usually some type of training or skill, that has to be acquired in limited time, or ability, that can only be unlocked under pressure, that a child needs to survive because the world is more dangerous than ours.
While there are situations where this is plausible and works, still not excusing the fact of the abuse but making the person committing it less disgusting. the idea of “there was no other way” gets grossly misused. And, when William’s behavior towards Desmond is being shoehorned in that category, I get mad, because no, William is just abusive. What’s more, there IS a father-son relationship in AC-universe (albeit in the comic), that does fall under “there was no other way”. 
I’m talking about Nikolai Orlov and his son Kenya, Daniel Cross’ ancestors as portrayed by comic “Assassin’s Creed - The Chain”.   In 1926, Nikolai and Kenya live off the grid somewhere in the US, hiding form both Assassins and Templars. At one point in the comic, an 8-year-old Kenya is made to sleep outside as a punishment during winter until he manages to do his father’s bidding.
If we take the situation without context, it is a clear picture of parental abuse. However, I can name a few reasons, accurately presented in the comic, that make it “there was no other way” situation and why the same points don’t work for William and Desmond. The list of 5 (-ish) reasons is as follows: #0 - Do we know them? This is not an actual reason, that’s why it’s at #0, but it’s a good foundation - for us, Nikolai isn’t a new character, we are not introduced to him making his 8yo son sleep outside. There already was a 3-issue comic, that gave us an insight on his character and values, we have an opinion on him. 
William, on the other hand, gets an introduction by being an asshole to others and showing no normal human emotion in the face if his son being in a coma and his protege’s death. Granted, I’m not sure if the Ubisoft tried to make his connection to Des a surprise, but his first full introduction at the start of AC3 when we already know he is the father is... actually the same - him being an asshole.
#1 - An established good parent One of the main reasons why for me the comic situation is more plausible is that Nikolai is established as a good parent by the narrative. He and Kenya live off the grid, all alone, away from people, he has no one to impress by being a socially adequate parent. However, his behavior toward Kenya is undoubtedly supportive and loving.  The comic starts with the father and son hunting and Kenya being a soft-hearted kid, being unable to shoot the already wounded doe.  Nikolai’s reaction? He tries to cheer his son up, by joking that next time they can hunt fenceposts. He doesn’t show any disappointment or anger, he doesn’t belittle Kenya for failing him. From their interactions, we get the sense that Nikolai, while very jaded by everything that happened to him, tries his best to be a good father to his only son. 
This is important because the “no other way” scenario only works if it’s not the norm, If the abuse is limited to that particular situation and not all-encompassing. 
William, once again, isn’t shown to be even somewhat good parent, at least not objectively, like Nikolai. The only moment when Bill is objectively not terrible comes in AC: Revelations when he talks about how Desmond killed Lucy, and he got to train both of them and it’s sad. It’s a simple dialog line, with an appropriately soft tone of voice (also a side note - gotta give it to the voice actor - he fucking nails the arrogant asshole voice, I literally get hives), and the way it’s so unlike Bill is lampshaded by Shaun, asking him if he’s gone soft. Every other instance of Bill being not terrible comes from Desmond whose perception is skewed by the impending doom. That’s why the attempt to establish something similar to comic in AC4, in the audio file n3, doesn’t work - it’s from Desmond’s perspective, it’s not objective. 
#2 - No time to waste (or literally any other external constraint) When the “no other way” scenario is used right, there are constraints in place, that lead to parent turning to abuse as the last resort. In fiction, it’s usually a lack of time to train or acquire the skill properly.
In the comic, the abuse comes after another assassin, Sergei, finds Nikolai and threatens Kenya’s life. Realizing, that soon there will be more people coming through and that he is a bit too old to properly protect his son (he has to be at around 60-70 at the time), Nikolai resorts to speed-training Kenya how to ambush and kill, using himself as target and bait.  It’s, honestly, brutal and heartbreaking, watching a sweet, soft kid gradually losing his humanity in order to do his father’s bidding. And even more so when you realize, that before that Nikolai was willing to take his son’s education in this particular area as slow as he could - and now that opportunity is gone, because the enemy could come knocking on their door any day (another side note - I actually believe that sleeping outside was not only a punishment and incentive but also done so that if the attack happen, the kid had better chance at getting out). 
One could argue, that the time crunch existed in William’s and Desmond’s case too, and that one would be wrong. We are actually shown, how the pre-Daniel Cross assassin communities looked like - mostly in passing, but one of them is shown inside and out. In previous comic, the Fall, Daniel ends up in one of the assassin compounds. It’s large enough that the people living there don’t necessarily know everyone else who lives there (that’s why at first they believed Daniel was from there), it’s located close enough to the city that no one bats an eye on someone sneaking out to get drunk unless they get so pissed they start mistaking civilians for Templars. The general vibe the compound leaves is akin to Xavier’s school from X-men. Those assassin’s don’t look like they are on the verge of running, they look like equal players, just not as public as Templars. And at the same time, out there in the Black Hills, 11-year-old Desmond is going through training from hell while unable to ever leave the compound and already losing any belief in the cause.
What’s interesting is that time crunch could be applied to Desmond’s upbringing, if he was made younger - 21 instead of 25, or if the Daniel’s Purge was moved from 2000 to 1996. That would create a situation where most of the Brotherhood is gone, the Farm is one of the last communes left standing, and they have to suddenly up Desmond’s training, while he’s around 9 years old, and probably yet to realize what happened and why.  
#3 - Tangible threat Segwaying from #2, the threat is another thing that makes “no other way” situation work. Usually, the threat is what creates constraints for training, while also fueling the parent’s want to give the child a survival chance, and that overrides their morals. 
In the comic, the threat is tangible and undeniable to both Nikolai and Kenya - they’ve already been attacked, and there are more people to come.
In the games, while the threat is real, it’s not immediate. Moreover, it never becomes more than a boogieman to Desmond, because there’s no evidence given, just war stories (yet another side note - in one of @esamastation‘s works, sometime yesterday, there was a very interesting take on why the education on the Farm was built as it was. Check it out, it’s far better than anything I could ever write). Desmond isn’t dumb, I highly doubt he’d miss something like an active attack, or the fact that some adults go away from the Farm and never come back for no reason. So it means that objectively Desmond was safe all along - moreover when he’d run away, it took Templars nine years to find him. The threat was never as close as it would need to be to warrant abuse.
#4 - Limits For the “no other way” scenario to work, the abuse should not be something the parent usually does, and that means, amongst other things, that it’s supposed to be limited to a specific instance.
In the comic, the abuse is limited to Nikolai having a specific goal in mind - for Kenya to learn how to ambush and kill without hesitation; when the goal is achieved? The abuse stops immediately. As soon as Kenya proves that he is ready to defend himself from anyone, Nikolai stops him and embraces him, reassuring the kid. 
In Bill’s and Desmond’s case... well, let me just quote Desmond himself on this: “What scared me was the training. Sweat, tears, bloody lip every once in a while. How far were they going to push me? I couldn't stand it! What was the point? For years and years I thought some major catastrophe was on the horizon. I didn't know what to expect. “ (c) Desmond’s Journey - Training. I’m not gonna even comment on this.
#5 - Payoff Last but not least - if there is no other way, then it has to mean something, contribute to the story at large. The abuse becomes a setup - and needs a payoff
In Kenya’s case, the harsh training he received was pivotal to his survival. His ambushing skill helped him get the attackers into a trap, and in the end, he mercy-killed his father and the last attacker in one shot an managed to escape. If there was no training, he would’ve been a liability and ended up dead.
However, in Desmond’s case you could actually delete the abuse part altogether, make Bill a harsh, but not abusive father and nothing would change to Desmond’s arc. The abuse wasn’t the reason he’d run away - the reason was his lack of belief in a cause and his want to see the world. His arc was about embracing his identity as an Assassin - and you still could have this internal conflict without the abuse part. His external conflict with Bill also didn’t need abuse to back it up - they have dissonant values. Even the training doesn’t factor in - Desmond gets re-trained using the Animus. There is no payoff
In conclusion, while parental abuse is inexcusable, there are ways to portray it in a manner that wouldn’t have your audience lining up to kill the parent. But in the end, it’s still important to understand, that even the abuse that comes from a place of love and out of genuine necessity (and not just justified in this way) can still fuck the victim over and they don’t have to forgive the parent. It just makes the parent not a total scumbag. (thanks for sticking with me till the end)
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lovemesomerafael · 5 years
Text
EL AMOR TODO LO PUEDE Chapter 5:  The Mating Call of the Nerd
Previous Chapters:  Chapter 1   Chapter 2    Chapter 3    Chapter 4
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Sometimes Laura had trouble appreciating God’s sense of humor.  Sure, she could flirt and tease and smolder like a boss, but only as long as her heart wasn’t involved.  When she really liked a guy, suddenly she had absolutely no game.  None.  She either got tongue-tied or couldn’t stop saying things that put her into an eternal cringe.  And she had no idea how to make those sweet, romantic gestures that let a man know how she felt. Sometimes she wondered how she’d ever managed to lose her virginity at all.
For weeks, Laura and Mouse had been steadily fumbling their way toward one another.  They found reasons to spend time together at work. They began texting one another across the bullpen when they wanted to say something they didn’t want their coworkers to overhear.  Even when the detectives were all out in the field, Mouse had sent her a few texts across the room, just complaining about something or sharing a goofy picture someone had sent him.  They had even spent what turned out to be an entirely platonic evening at Mouse’s apartment playing an online role-playing game they’d discovered they both liked.  That had actually been a lot of fun.  It was hard to be disappointed in an evening that had involved so much laughter and online mayhem.  They’d turned out to be a dangerous team when they worked together in the game.  That was one reason the evening had been platonic.  The other was that neither of them had found the courage to make a pass.    
Now they were at work, and she was sitting at her desk, trying yet again to figure out how to save a report she’d typed up for Voight using the new system CPD had just installed. She really didn’t want to have to ask Mouse a third time to help her set up her folders the way she wanted them.  She clicked furiously on the Enter key, uttering a different curse word with each jab at the keyboard.  
Behind her, she heard a chair roll up and Mouse’s soft chuckle.  “Wow.  You got some vocabulary.  You sure you’re not military?”
“I hate this system! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…” she whined theatrically.  
He rolled up just behind her, resting a forearm on the back of her chair.  She instantly broke out in goosebumps as she felt his breath on the back of her neck.  
“Relax.  I got you.”  He leaned forward so that his face was next to hers, his hair tickling her ear.  “Get out of this dialog box.”
She did as he told her. He walked her through another few steps until the file was named and saved in a new folder nestled exactly where she wanted it in the directory.  She wouldn’t remember one step of it, of course, because all she was doing was reflexively reacting to his instructions.  Her entire mind was focused on Mouse, now close enough that their cheeks were touching.  The scent of whatever shower gel he used was now permanently etched in her sensory memory, along with the visceral erotic reaction it was having on her.  
She gulped.  OK.  Here goes. She began to turn her head millimeter by millimeter, as the warm, delicious sensations low in her body began to be replaced by nervous butterflies.  But he took over from her before the butterflies had a chance to multiply, sliding his hand into her hair and turning her face to his.
He tilted his head and fit his lips to hers.  He kissed her with an expertise that shocked her.  Awkward and nerdy he might be, but damn, he was good with his lips.  As they heard the security gate at the bottom of the stairs open and the voices of the detectives began to drift into the room, he pulled away just enough to look into her eyes, while keeping his hand in her hair.
“Your move,” he said seductively, giving her a look that would set ice on fire.
As Voight, Olinsky, Dawson, and Lindsay boisterously entered and went to work at their respective desks, calling out to one another as they worked, Laura sat staring blankly at her computer screen.  She was completely unnerved.  She had a fairly massive dose of hormones coursing through her veins, of course, but she was also suddenly terrified.  Mouse couldn’t just leave the next move to her.  She was hopeless and she knew it.  It never even occurred to her to simply ask him out on a date.  Instead, she thought of all the tropes she’d ever heard: showing up at his door wearing only a trench coat, inviting him over to find a path of rose petals leading to the bedroom, dragging him into a storage closet at the station, but none of them seemed even remotely possible.  She’d die of mortification.  Having completely wrapped herself around the axle with these thoughts, she spent the rest of the afternoon moving paper around and looking at emails without seeing them.  
When it was time to leave work, she was nowhere to be found.  Mouse wondered what that meant.  He’d hoped that they would just naturally leave together and go somewhere for a real dinner that took place on a table rather than under one.  Had she just left without saying goodbye?  What did that mean?  She’d kissed him back, he was sure of that.  He’d felt her tremble and heard her breath catch.  And he’d seen her flushed and flustered when he’d pulled away from her.  So why would she be avoiding him now?  
 **********
The next day, things between Mouse and Laura were a little odd.  
It had been one of those days when at least some of the detectives were in the bullpen all day, and Voight had Laura running at full speed with things he suddenly needed immediately.  When he needed something, he’d just sit at his desk and yell her name.  By this time, though, Laura and Voight had established a fluid working relationship that allowed Laura to predict what Voight was thinking a few seconds before he actually thought it.  More often than not, he’d ask for a file that she would just have emailed him, knowing he’d need it.  Once, he asked her to get District Commander Crowley on the phone, only to be told that Laura already had her office on hold waiting for him to pick up.  
There was little opportunity for Mouse and Laura to talk.  Laura very much wanted to talk to Mouse, but she had no idea what to say to him.  “Hi, let’s hook up”?  Not likely.  He did send her a text asking if she wanted to have lunch.  She sent him a message consisting of two emojis: handcuffs and a desk.  They’d shared a regretful look across the bullpen, and that had been it.  Voight kept Laura busy at her desk until long after Mouse had given up on waiting for her to be able to leave for the day.  
Mouse hoped that she would call him, or at least text, but she didn’t.  Now he was really confused, and a little unhappy about it.  Was she playing with him?  She’d seemed to be straight up and cool, but maybe he’d misjudged her?
That night, the detectives had spent most of the night at the scene of a bloody massacre at a house that turned out to be the base for a major drug operation.  The case had several possible suspects, both groups and individual people, which had the entire team working through facts and theories much of the next day.  They’d ordered in lunch and everybody stayed late.  
Laura had accepted a ride from Mouse when they finally left, but only to a church near her apartment where she was meeting her AA sponsor for a meeting.  She seemed a little nervous, but definitely not standoffish.  In fact, she’d given him a peck on the lips and a quick hug just before hopping out of his van.  He watched her walk around the side of the church to where several people stood smoking outside a door.  She hugged a number of them.  Maybe she was seeing someone?  As he drove off, he suddenly wondered whether he had made a mistake kissing her.  
He spent the entire next day down in his tech room, putting together equipment and a communications plan for an operation the team had planned for the following night.  He ate junk from the vending machine for lunch, and didn’t even have time to text Laura.  She’d been busy, too, but hers had been an everyday level of busy, with much of the team in the bullpen all day, preparing for the following night.  
She stopped by when her workday was over, but he wasn’t ready to leave.  So they said goodnight and she left, feeling like she should have said or done something more to let him know she was interested.  Your move?  He should never have left it up to her.  
***********
That night, Laura sat on the floor of her living room with her back against the couch and her laptop on the coffee table in front of her.  She was playing the role playing game again, this time participating in a raid with a number of her online friends.  When the group had successfully looted a stronghold built by other players, one of her teammates got the idea to try to make their online avatars high five each other. It was just a nerdy joke, but it gave Laura an idea.
She could see which of her friends were online, and had noticed about fifteen minutes earlier that Mouse was playing the game.  She decided to see if she could find his character.  Having played together a few times, once while in the same room, she knew a little about where in the universe of the game he and his friends might be.  After searching around a bit, she found Mouse’s avatar.  
She might be awkward in the real world when it came to men she really liked, but she was pretty comfortable in the alternate reality of the game.  And, being a fellow nerd, she thought Mouse would get what she was about to do.  
She walked her avatar up to his until he saw her and turned his character around so they were facing each other.  Soon, the dialog box below the game display started to show their typed conversation.
Lorelei:  Hi
Grrrrwitz:  Hi yourself
Lorelei:  Ready for my move?
Grrrrwitz:  More than ready
Laura’s character was a Mage; she carried a wand and potions rather than weapons.  She could also cast spells.  One of the spells Laura had built could knock another character to the ground.  She used it on Mouse’s avatar.  
Grrrrwitz:  Hey!
Lorelei:  Wait for it
She moved her character to where his lay, and her avatar knelt down beside him, as she often did to heal characters who had been wounded in game battles.  Instead, she moved her character to awkwardly lean over him and kiss him.  Although she’d never had any interest in trying it, she’d read that, in this particular game, characters could actually have sex if the players could figure out how to do it.  She was very curious to see what Mouse would do.  
As Mouse sat at his computer, watching Laura’s avatar knock down and then kiss his, he smiled hugely and said aloud to the empty room, “There it is.”  
But he wasn’t sure how to respond.  He knew that characters in this game could have sex, but that didn’t seem like the right response.  Besides, if he was going to have sex with Laura, it wasn’t going to be on a computer screen while their actual bodies were across town from one another.  Instead, he decided to try something different.  
He knew the spell would work for a minute or so, and then his character could move again.  He waited and, when he could, he made his avatar get up from the ground.  He saw Laura’s stand, too.
Grrrrwitz:  You better get outta here or you’re gonna regret that
Laura didn’t respond, but her character began to run away.  Mouse’s character followed.  For a while, he chased her around the game’s landscape, until she ran into a castle.  He followed, catching her character in a turret. He had his character throw his sword on the floor and back hers into a corner, which he suspected she could have gotten out of if she’d tried.  His avatar put one arm on either side of hers and kissed her character.  
Just as he was wondering what to do next, he saw her character duck out from between his character’s arms and run out of the room.  For the next hour, they played a ridiculous online game of chase and kiss. Occasionally, another character would try to engage them.  The first time that happened, Mouse’s avatar wasted no time killing them with his sword. From then on, when another character interfered with their silly chase, they would quickly dispatch that character and continue.  It was the nerdiest flirtation either Mouse or Laura had ever engaged in, but they both enjoyed it immensely.
Grrrrwitz:  Well played
Lorelei:  Get the message?
Grrrrwitz:  Message received.  Op tomorrow nite.  Dinner Friday?  
Lorelei:  😊  Absolutely
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clarkestrada9 · 2 years
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Familiarise Yourself With The Midpoint ages Defending team
At existent it is far-flung expertness that the halfway ages knights used to skin their battles with the weapons that belonged to them. Altogether through and through the heart Ages, whole those weapons employed by the knights to fight their enemies are called the gothic weapons. Wholly these weapons do not throw the passing rattling equal forte and compatibility as other individuals. This implies that roughly are ordinarily extra effective than the other the great unwashed of its sieve. To do good from the weapons to its better ability the core ages knights experient to own a as a event of comprehending of the intensity and light come out of the weapons he is making habituate of. It really is a Sojourner Truth that in that respect was no everlasting arm in the Rivet Ages that lacked a mistake. Good more or less every arm has its intensity level and its sapless direct. The historic period weapons of former nations assorted in layout, eccentric and frequently tied in the border on they were utilised. You May perhaps hold the weapons of a variety of nations usually selfsame standardized in their vulgar social structure they are under no fortune of all time the passing precise for weapons of 1 country is emphatically typical from the close to others. You put up unveil hundreds of a multifariousness of varieties of historic period weapons that cause been utilized by knights in the meat ages period of time if you looking done on the Net. Wholly terminated this time meter historic period as just now those multitude WHO ended up well-liked, abundant and imposing could possibly spend for to incur this weapons that were existence rather highly-priced to guarantee by themselves and their households. The rights of purchasing these eye ages weapons in a flash acquired scheduled for them merely. Relying upon Rubber Tiles manufacturer of function these weapons had been categorized into two classifications. Drawn-out-diverseness combat weapons system fell into the starting time categorization. When horse had to develop blue an opposite WHO was at a encompassing length from him, these types of weapons were utilized. Weapons put-upon for draw close engagement had been in the 2nd group. An illustration of this mixture of weapons is knives. Instantly that we had a universal dialog of many classifications of middle ages weapons enable look into a match of these weapons in minuscule snatch ALIR to a greater extent in-deepness method. The Sword-- It is simply a lengthy reducing framed weapon that is sooner elongated. In diverse nations of the satellite, in many styles and sorts of this weapon system is utilized. The Dagger - By and large utilised for the target of lancinating or poke, it is a type of stab that has deuce edges. In closed encounters this weapon is not of marvelous importance nigh of the metre. These weapons eventide in the in the beginning terminated up regarded non as John R. Major weapons but as third weapons or lower-ranking. The Blade-- This diversity of arm hold a needlelike and pointed border and rise sphere that is unconditional. Victimized ordinarily for the reasonableness of stabbing, thrusting, placing and slice these weapons concluded up usually made-up of metals. Done the center Ages, masses weapons used by the knights to scrap their enemies are termed the nerve center ages weapons. To practice the weapons to its farthest electrical capacity the heart ages knights all-important to possess a done cognition of the lastingness and unaccented situation of the weapons he is using. You May possibly unveil the weapons of alone international locations normally indistinguishable in their crucial grammatical construction they are by no substance at whatever clock time the selfsame Saami for weapons of 1 land is wholly respective from the many others. You john fare crossways hundreds of several types of knightly weapons that over up utilized by knights in the knightly epoch if you lookup on the Online. Rubber Tiles manufacturer in the late were coupled to not as near crucial weapons having aforesaid that as Tertiary weapons or secondary coil.
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So you should be better at general public talking and don't know how to start? Has the idea of communicating facing folks brought on you to definitely panic? No matter your causes of simply being here, the guidelines which are from the post under can help boost your open public discussing abilities, so continue studying!
Know your setting. Go on a few moments whenever you get there to acquaint on your own together with your area. When you can show up early, check out the podium and execute a soundcheck prior to your target audience arrives. In case you have aesthetic tools, practice utilizing them while you are orientating on your own along with your surroundings. Make eye contact together with your market participants. bitcoin news means they are feel as if you are discussing directly to them so it helps place them engaged. Additionally, it makes you look self-confident and poised. Have a look at numerous members of the crowd as you may speak to aid interact with as many of them as is possible. Should you inadvertently neglect to touch over a point throughout your presentation that isn't mandatory, don't end. The whole conversation may be messed up if you think like you must return back and appropriate anything. Also, your audience most likely won't recognize you omitted nearly anything, if you do not highlight the fact. It is very important realize that many people want one to become successful. The most important thing is usually to supply related, intriguing info. To keep your speech engaging either notify a narrative about you or possibly a laugh to hot the crowd up. This can not merely warm the audience, but it will likewise enable you to relax. If you use a computer program to provide images and data, make certain you know how to function it. The final thing you need is always to waste enough time when you are should be communicating with lots of pc fiddling. Practice your dialog plus your visible helps demonstration thoroughly. When making a dialog, understand the principles of your respective issues to start with. Do large investigation and consider the topic from various viewpoints. Choose your things very carefully. Pick your terms carefully, and make very clear notices that are simple to comply with. Carefully preparing on your own is a major repay when your target audience chooses to inquire you questions. Reconsider having a number of refreshments to release your self up. You may be so tense just before the presentation or at this type of exciting function which you consume a little too a lot. Some of the most awkward speeches are definitely the problem of getting a little too significantly to consume before making the dialog. Be sure you use suitable graphic aids to help make your dialog a lot more intriguing. A photo or even an thing may be worth thousands of terms and will add more level and aspect in your business presentation. Be imaginative with your choices of graphic assists. Photographs, artwork, sculpture, mementos, graphs, charts and many other sorts of objects may help you get the level throughout clearly. Keep your speech very clear and daring when delivering your presentation. If you can, use a glassful of water in close proximity. Try to keep away from soda pop or dairy just before your speaking engagement. These kinds of refreshments thicken the saliva and may lead to too much mucous. A coffee cost-free green tea will ease your tension and relax your sound. Be informed about the surroundings that you are discussing. Appear very early to be able to go over the room and set up up and view any equipment you might be using. Exercise making use of any music-aesthetic assists so that you know the way they work and you know they can be in functioning buy. This assists you steer clear of an uncomfortable difficulties with devices and provides you with more self confidence. Have faith in your self. If you believe you will thrive, you will probably thrive. If you think you are going to fall level on your experience, that is certainly something which is very likely to occur. Attempt to put a stop to negative opinions from your thoughts and imagine oneself supplying a great conversation. Don't defeat yourself up if one makes a mistake during your display. Unless of course the information given wrongly is very important usually do not correct your blunder. Instead, keep on with the presentation like absolutely nothing has happened. If you wish to proper the mistake you created, apologize and proper the big mistake and continue on. Since you now look at the previously mentioned report, your thoughts should be placed at ease since you now know general public communicating is just not as hard as you when believed. In the beginning you will require some courage, then this motivation to just go and training what you discovered. Quickly enough, the tips here pays dividens while you become a better speaker in public areas.
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aion-rsa · 3 years
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Deathloop Proves Incredibly Flawed Games Can Still Be Masterpieces
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Deathloop‘s initial reviews have everyone buzzing about this timed PS5 exclusive from developer Arkane Studios (the team behind modern classics such as Dishonored 2 and Prey), but I’m a little worried that the positive buzz surrounding this game is going to give people the wrong impression about what kind of experience it actually is.
When a game starts getting perfect scores, it’s tempting to start telling yourself it must be perfect. Well, no game is perfect, and Deathloop is one of the most imperfect major games I’ve played in quite some time. It’s loaded with obvious shortcomings that will surely chase people away from its inherently divisive core gameplay.
Yet, I too am convinced that Deathloop is a masterpiece not just in spite of its flaws but, in some strange ways, because of them. Because a score can give you the wrong impression about why Deathloop is great, let’s take a slightly deeper look at this game’s problems, greatest qualities, and the strange relationship between the two that shows you just how rare a game like this really is.
Deathloop’s A.I. Is Shockingly Bad
The core of any immersive sim’s gameplay is the thrill you get from finding different solutions to complex problems. Do you go in guns blazing to show off your arsenal and abilities, or do you use stealth, hacking, and subversion to find a more subtle solution? That thrill of finding the perfect path forward (or even just your preferred one) is what makes games like Deus Ex, System Shock 2, and BioShock the classics they are. 
Sadly, Deathloop’s terrible A.I. limits the moment-to-moment appeal of its immersive sim gameplay. Enemies will regularly walk straight into their death, ignore bodies dropped inches behind them from great heights, and generally refuse to use even basic combat techniques to try to slow your progress.  
Deathloop’s woeful A.I. rarely inspires you to find those creative solutions that should define these types of games. You can still approach a situation however you’d like, but you’re rarely left with the feeling you’ve just found and executed the perfect plan since you’re pretty sure just about any plan would have been good enough to topple this game’s hapless goons. 
Deathloop Tries Too Hard to Hold Your Hand
Deathloop is a pretty complicated game built around a fairly unique premise. As such, I can certainly sympathize with developer Arkane’s decision to frontload the game with quite a few tutorial screens designed to explain the basics. 
Still, it feels like there was a better way to explain this game’s core concepts without relying on a series of screens filled with tiny text. For a game that does such a great job of subtly relaying nearly every other bit of information while letting you figure things out on your own (more on that later), it’s odd that Arkane chose to rely on such a conventual, straightforward, and often frustrating method of delivery. 
In fact, the somewhat sudden way this game pivots from guided gameplay to encouraging you to find organic solutions to complex problems might be too much for some and ultimately negate the good intentions of the title’s opening hours. 
Deathloop Doesn’t Feel Like a Next-Gen Game
Most people knew that the Covid-19 pandemic and global supply shortages were going to slow down an already slow next-gen transition process. We probably won’t start seeing a steady stream of “true” next-gen games until later in 2022, and I understand why that’s the case. 
That being said, I’m not sure Deathloop is entirely “worthy” of its current PS5 console exclusivity (the game is also available for PC). Aside from a few Dualsense features and quicker loading times, Deathloop feels like a game that probably could have been ported to the PS4 without sacrificing its best qualities. 
Considering how hard it is to find a next-gen console, I feel like this game probably should have been developed for PS4 and PS5. Microsoft may eventually offer some kind of backward compatibility once Deathloop comes to Xbox, but this title’s few obvious next-gen features aren’t a good enough reason to limit its initial reach. 
Deathloop’s Time Loop Is One of the Best In Video Game History
You probably know that Deathloop is a time loop game, and, thanks to a surprising number of new entries into that formerly niche genre, you probably know that means Deathloop is designed to make you repeat the same time period over and over again until you break the loop. 
However, you’ve got to play Deathloop to appreciate just how great its time loop really is. In fact, the way that Deathloop uses the time loop concept to slowly unravel its initially bewildering plot and enhance your understanding of what is possible in this game may just make it the best example of time loop design in video game history. 
I’ve already heard some say that having to repeat Deathloop’s basic structure over and over again starts to feel “grindy,” but in my experience, but there was honestly never a time when I felt too disappointed to start the loop over as doing so usually opened up exciting new opportunities or at least allowed me to learn from whatever mistake I just made that triggered the most recent reset.
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Deathloop’s Assassinations Are Some of the Most Satisfying Logic Puzzles Since Portal
While Deathloop’s poor A.I. makes battles against its basic enemies feel…basic, the battles against the game’s Visionaries (your “boss” targets) combine the best elements of Portal and recent Hitman games to form the most satisfying logic puzzles you’ll ever experience. 
Identifying your target and finding not just the perfect way to kill them but the perfect way to kill them that then allows you to seamlessly move on to the next target with enough time to spare is quite simply one of the greatest experiences I’ve had in a video game in the last 15 years. The number of possible ways to kill an individual target is bested only by the number of possible ways to kill every target in one perfect run.
It’s an approach that leads to a nearly infinite series of “aha” moments that never fail to provide the motivation you need to work your way through one more loop. 
Deathloop Brilliantly Repurposes the Best Qualities of the Roguelike Genre
At first, I was a little worried about Deathloop’s item rarity, skill finding, and progression/regression mechanics. During those early stages when the game is trying to explain so much to you in a short amount of time, the combination of all those roguelike systems started to feel like a bit much. 
However, you eventually discover that the reason those mechanics work so well together is that Deathloop brilliantly limits how many skills, weapons, and items you’re able to readily access during each loop. The result is a kind of roguelike experience where you (eventually) get to have some say in what your reset looks like and how close to “zero” you really have to start from.
I love a traditional roguelike experience, but between games like this, Returnal, and Hades that challenge the idea of “starting over,” it’s been fascinating to watch developers play with the boundaries of the roguelike genre and blend that genre with other concepts. 
Deathloop’s Multiplayer is a Brilliant Idea You May Choose to Ignore
In case you haven’t heard, Deathloop features a fascinating multiplayer component that allows other players to “invade” your game by controlling Julianna: a rival who will stop at nothing to kill the player and preserve the time loop. Julianna’s unique set of abilities allows invading players to easily disguise themselves and generally make your life hell.
That’s the great and annoying thing about this feature. See, if you choose to disable player-controlled Julianna invasions, the character will still “invade” your game but will instead be controlled by the A.I. Considering this game’s A.I. problems (see above), you don’t really get to experience how brilliant this concept is until you enabled the multiplayer component. 
At the same time, the “griefing” nature of this invasion system means that many people are going to find it to be quite annoying and even detrimental to the overall experience. I feel like this problem could have been solved by a stronger A.I. version of Julianna who comes closer to representing the challenge offered by human players without being quite as frustrating. 
Deathloop’s Incredible Environmental Storytelling Enhances a Sometimes Weak Narrative
Most of Deathloop’s storytelling is done through audio files, environmental clues, computer exchanges, and…well just about everything other than cutscenes and character-to-player dialog exchanges. Anyone who is familiar with Arkane’s previous works (most notably Prey) will be familiar with this basic approach. 
Arkane’s familiarity with this complicated form of storytelling generally results in some of the cleverest and most unexpected bits of narrative design I’ve ever seen, even by this studio’s lofty standards. It’s amazing that Arkane left it up to the player to discover so many vital plot points and character development moments, but that approach ultimately enhances the thrill of finding that one bit of information that puts every other piece of the puzzle in place.
However, the game’s brilliant approach to storytelling doesn’t entirely disguise the weakness of the overall narrative. I won’t get into spoilers here, but once you realize that Deathloop’s plot is more about the little moments and the journey rather the destination, you start to get the feeling that there was a more interesting overall story here that the developers just didn’t quite deliver.
Deathloop Isn’t For Everyone, and That’s What’s Great About It
Developer Arkane Studios has been criticized in the past for making a specific kind of game that rarely meets sales expectations. Some have wondered whether or not Arkane would be better off making at least a few concessions to the preferences of wider audiences just so they could help ensure that they’re able to continue making at least some kind of version of the games they make so well. 
Between Deathloop’s PS5 console exclusivity, Arkane-style design, and the fact it’s hard to even offer a basic description of the experience without getting into spoilers, I highly doubt that this is going to end up being a long-term best-seller or even just the studio’s best-selling game to date.
However, that’s kind of what makes Deathloop so great. Nearly all of the problems in Deathloop can be attributed to Arkane’s desire to focus on the things they do so well and not worry so much about whether or not someone who doesn’t really enjoy what this title is fundamentally going for is going to take a chance on it. 
I can’t speak to what would have happened if Arkane tried to make a few more changes for wider audiences or even just worked harder to break free of their bad habits, but what I do know is that they came up with a brilliant idea for a game and made that brilliant idea work despite the fact that it could have so easily fallen apart at any time. 
In a world where nothing is perfect, it’s hard to withhold the masterpiece label for something that somehow manages to get everything right. Like many of the most innovative and greatest games before it, Deathloop was made by a team of people committed to getting their biggest and best ideas right above all else.
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It’s easy enough to see how Deathloop could have been a better game, but I’d rather be left with a series of nitpicks acquired in the pursuit of something original than another perfectly fine Triple-A game that ultimately justifies its existence through sales figures alone.
The post Deathloop Proves Incredibly Flawed Games Can Still Be Masterpieces appeared first on Den of Geek.
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filmbasterd-blog · 6 years
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Avengers: Infinity War - REVIEW
This movie is 2 hour and 29 minutes long, yet it felt like it was just an hour. The last time I felt this way towards a movie was with The Last Jedi (Mad Max: Fury Road before that). Infinity War is everything that I wanted and expected it to be: straight to the point, no fucking around, just all out war.
The Russo Brothers have already proven to be capable directors for an ensemble cast (Civil War), this time they actually outdid themselves. Though not everyone had the moment to shine (there’s like 70+ characters in this movie), it still felt like everyone had a reason to be there and no one felt out of place. The Russo’s really tried to fit everyone in without anyone being left out. Everyone was utilized to their full potential. None had overstayed their welcome, and none felt underutilized, they were there for what they can only offer for the story. It’s just really mindblowing how the Russo Brothers pulled this off, how they actually made a movie out of a tremendous amount of character, combining almost every MCU movies, colliding in this one massive spectacle.
One thing I cannot complain about IW are the action sequences: amazingly directed, gracefully constructed, every edit and cut flowed smoothly. It was goddamn satisfying to watch. The fight scenes felt grand. It gives off this feeling of fear and excitement at the same time, it feels like these characters could actually die at any moment.
This leads me to the best part of the movie, Thanos. Probably the best MCU villain to date. Whenever he is on screen, it shows how much of a threat he is. You fear for the people around him because he might actually snap their necks out of nowhere. Never has an MCU villain been this intimidating and horrifying. I love his backstory, his motivation, and belief system; you understand where his ideologies are coming from and why he is doing it, it actually makes sense but just a tad messed up. For him, this is all best intentions, he thinks he is doing the universe a favor (which he actually is), but you have to be a psychopath to wholeheartedly agree with him. Josh Brolin did an excellent job with this character. You would be surprised how much the movie spent time with him that it feels like the movie is about Thanos and not the Avengers. 
As expected, there were few to none character development (besides Thanos) at all. But we don’t need that here. We had 18 movies to do that for us which is the reason why this movie worked. We know these characters well enough already, we already care for them, all this movie had to do was bring the disaster to them and watch how they handle it. It’s like this movie is the season finale of a TV show everyone’s been watching for the last 10 years.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 still holds the best visual effects, CGI, and cinematography, but Infinity War came close. The CGI for Thanos alone deserves an Academy nomination. Though the CGI is quite noticeable at times, the majority of his screentime (which is a lot) looks super real. Marvel also continues there improvement with their color grading. Civil War is a fantastic movie, but it cannot be denied that the color grading on that film was horrid. The Russos learned from that mistake and made Infinity War quite amazing to look at.
The score is a fucking behemoth. Alan Silvestri composed a very grand and very booming score for this movie. Every time that music kicks in, it makes the scene feel like it’s already the climax of the movie. Silvestri had no chill at all. Oh, and Thanos has a theme music and it’s fucking glorious.
Not spoiling anything or what, but the ending is quite shocking; very bold and polarizing. I personally loved it, I did not see it coming at all, and it stressed me out in a good way. I have no idea what they would do next because the ending felt like it was actually the end of it all.
My only problem with the movie is a plot hole. I’m not sure if it’s really a plot hole, maybe I didn’t catch a dialog or what but I think it was a plothole. I can’t explain it without spoiling it, but it involves a certain character who didn’t do this thing that could have changed how the movie went. I can’t help but think of it after that certain scene happened.
In the end, this is probably the most shocking and polarizing MCU movie to date and I’ll give them props for having the balls to do it. Avengers Infinity War is the only MCU film that had actual stakes. No one was safe, everything that happened broke every expectation we had, and for that I applaud it.
9/10
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Download Mac Os X Lion Without App Store
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Starting with OS X Mountain Lion, Apple introduced Gatekeeper so users couldn’t easily install downloaded apps from outside the Mac App Store.
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Mac Os X Lion Iso
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Mac OS X Lion 10.7 is the eighth major release of Mac OS X is a completely different version from the for windows because it is a version that is totally based on the productivity suite for mac os x. This for mac is one of the best and successors of 2011 and it is followed by the for mac of 2007. OS X Mountain Lion is the latest release of the world’s most advanced desktop operating system. Mountain Lion includes over 200 new features to update your Mac into the best computing experience yet. With the new Messages app you can send text, photos, videos, contacts, web links, and documents to. Mac App Store and identified developers (default in OS X) – Only allow apps that came from the Mac App Store and developers using Gatekeeper can open. Anywhere – Allow applications to run regardless of their source on the Internet (default in OS X Lion v10.7.5); Gatekeeper is effectively turned off. How To Re-Download Mac OS Lion. So, assuming that you already downloaded and installed Lion, when you go to the App Store, and look at your Purchases section, Lion will show as “Installed” (see the picture above). Here are the steps to re-download Lion. Launch the App Store; While holding down the OPTION key, click on the “Purchases.
When someone downloads an app from somewhere other than the Mac App Store they will get one of a few warning messages depending on what security settings they’ve set in System Preferences. We’ll show users how to set the security settings in Security & Privacy section of the OS X System Preferences using any version of OS X after Mountain Lion so they can install downloaded apps from outside the Mac App Store.
Why Can’t I Install 3rd-Party Apps By Default?
If you don’t care about why this works, skip to the next section. Here’s why Apple sets OS X to disallow 3rd-party apps by default, for those who like to understand why things work as they do.
Cynics will say that Apple does this because they don’t get a 30% cut from applications bought directly from third-party apps instead of their curated app store. A $10 app nets Apple $3 and the developer gets only $7. The developer gets the entire $10 if the app is sold directly.
Apple says they set things blocking third-party apps because they want to protect users who might install downloaded apps with malware or viruses. They take the 30% cut to cover the cost of hosting the Mac App Store and testing apps to keep malware out of the store. In other words, they want to help protect us from our own mistakes.
Apple offers three setting options in the Security & Privacy Settings in System Preferences. Apple set the default to help protect users from Malware or to lock down computers depending on which explanation you prefer.
Apple created Gatekeeper, a program to protect users from Malware. Developers can get a security certificate from Apple through the Apple Developer program. If a developer distributes their app on the Mac App Store, they have to follow certain guidelines to get approved. These guidelines try to keep malware out of the store. Developers can also add a security certificate to their apps. The certificate is some code inserted into the app code. Users can set their machines to allow third-party apps downloaded from the Internet, but only if they include one of these security certificates.
Find out how to change the settings below so you can install downloaded apps from trusted third-party websites. Don’t install apps from just any site because relaxing security settings could potentially open the door to malware and viruses.
How to Install Apps from Outside the Mac App Store
To install third-party apps, the user must change a setting in the Security & Privacy section of System Preferences, the Settings app in OS X.
Open OS X System Preferences by clicking on the app icon from OS X Dock or by clicking the Apple icon in the Menu Bar in the upper left corner of the screen. When the menu pops up, click on System Preferences.
Click on Security & Privacy from the top row of the System Preferences app. Choose the General tab to see the settings below.
There’s a lock icon at the bottom of the dialog box. Click it to enable all the settings in the box. The OS will ask the user to enter their administrator’s password. Click OK and the grayed out settings become clickable.
The settings we need to work with show up at the bottom half of the dialog box. There are three options under Allow apps downloaded from:. Here are the descriptions taken from Apple’s support site.
Mac App Store – Only apps that came from the Mac App Store can open.
Mac App Store and identified developers (default in OS X) – Only allow apps that came from the Mac App Store and developers using Gatekeeper can open.
Anywhere – Allow applications to run regardless of their source on the Internet (default in OS X Lion v10.7.5); Gatekeeper is effectively turned off. Note: Developer ID-signed apps that have been inappropriately altered will not open, even with this option selected.
If the user chooses the first two options, they can close the dialog box and continue. However, if the user chooses Anywhere, the above warning pops up to scare the user from using this setting. It says:
Choosing “Anywhere” makes your Mac less secure.
The warning box explains that OS X resets this setting after 30 days. Users will have to come back here and do the above steps again. Further, it explains that it’s safer to let the OS warn you each time you launch an app, which includes an option to allow it by clicking an OK button if you select the middle option of the three.
Which Option Should You Choose?
Those who only install apps from the Mac App Store should not bother changing the default settings. Make sure to select the first option labelled Mac App Store and close the box. If you want to install and run any app you want and don’t worry at all about malware, then choose the third option labelled Anywhere. I use the second option since I can still install third-party apps, but they have to come from developers who take the time to add an Apple Developer security certificate to their app. These are safe, but can come from outside the Mac App Store.
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There are two different types of OS one is Mac OS X Lion 10.7 ISO, DMG and the other one is OS X mountain lion. So please don’t get confused in both OS.
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Mac OS X Lion 10.7 is the eighth major release of Mac OS X is a completely different version from the for windows because it is a version that is totally based on the productivity suite for mac os x. This for mac is one of the best and successors of 2011 and it is followed by the for mac of 2007.
Mac os x lion was released in the month of June on the date of 22nd and in the year of 2011 in the Apple worldwide developers conference. It was announced to release officially in the month of July but due to there technicals problems and due to there technical errors they have to release it earlier.
Download: Mac OS X Mountain Lion 10.8 DMG & ISO Image
License Official Installer
File Size 4.4GB / 3.5GB
Language English
Developer Apple Inc.
Tutorials: How to Clean Install Mac OS using a USB drive on Mac
On June 6, 2011, at the Apple Worldwide Developers Conference, it was reported that the official discharge for Lion would be in July 2011. The particular discharge date of July 20 was not affirmed until the day preceding, July 19, by Apple CFO, Peter Oppenheimer, as a major aspect of Apple’s 2011 second from last quarter income announcement.
Apple did not at first report any physical media circulation for Lion, for example, a lot of CD-ROMs or a DVD-ROM as utilized for past discharges. Rather, the working framework was said to be accessible only as a download from the Mac App Store for US$29.99. The main earlier form of OS X that underpins the Mac App Store in Snow Leopard, which suggested that any machines that help Lion at present running Tiger or Leopard would initially be moved up to Snow Leopard, instead of enabling an immediate move up to Lion.
System requirements
x86-64 CPU (64 bit Macs, with an intel core 2 duo, Intel core i5, intel core i7, or processor.)
At least 2 GB of memory.
Mac OS X 10.6.6 or later (Mac OS X 10.6.8 is recommended) .
7 GB of available space.
Airdrop is supported on the following Mac models:MacBook Pro (late 2008 or newer), MacBook Air (late 2010 or newer), MacBook (late 2008 or newer), iMac (early 2009 or newer), Mac Mini (mid-2010 or newer), Mac Pro (early 2009 with AirPort Extreme card and mid-2010 or newer).
Features
Server features
Mac os x lion
Download Mac Os X Lion Without App Store Windows 10
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Wiki Server 3 – Making it easier to collaborate, share, and exchange information. Users can quickly switch between a server’s home page, My Page, Updates, Wikis, People, and Podcasts. File sharing is simpler, and a new Page Editor is added for easy customization.
Web DAV File Sharing – Lion Server delivers wireless file sharing for clients that support WebDAV. Enabling WebDAV in Lion Server gives iOS users the ability to access, copy, and share documents on the server from applications such as Keynote, Numbers, and Pages.
Profile Manager – Profile Manager delivers simple, profile-based setup and management for Mac OS X Lion, iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch devices. It also integrates with existing directory services and delivers automatic over-the-air profile updates using the Apple Push Notification service.
Features of Macintosh OS X Lion
The principal variant of Mac OS X was Mac OS X Lion. Macintosh OS X lion – 1.2v3 depended on Rhapsody, a half and half of OPENSTEP from NeXT Computer and Mac OS 8.5.1. The GUI resembled a blend of Mac OS 8’s Platinum appearance with OPENSTEP’s NeXT-based interface. It incorporated a runtime layer called Blue Box for running inheritance Mac OS-based applications inside a different window. There was the talk of executing a ‘straightforward blue box’ which would intermix Mac OS applications with those composed for Rhapsody’s Yellow Box condition, yet this would not occur until Mac OS X’s Classic condition. Apple File Services, Macintosh Manager, QuickTime Streaming Server, WebObjects, and NetBoot were incorporated with Mac OS X lion 1.0 – 1.2v3. We couldn’t utilize FireWire gadgets in Macintosh OS X lion 10.7 iso/dmg.
Macintosh OS X lion 10.7 incorporated the new Aqua UI, Apache, PHP, MySQL, Tomcat, WebDAV bolster Macintosh Manager and NetBoot.
macOS x lion 10.7 is the most recent rendition of Mac with new highlights. Nonetheless, this refresh will keep running on Mac 2012 or later forms. On the off chance that you are running macOS X lion 10.7 or prior, you ought to probably move up to the most recent rendition of mac os x lion 10.7 from the App Store.
Download Mac Os X Lion Without App Store Free
Downloading Mac OSX Lion 10.7 ISO/DMG
The main reason for which people preferred downloading apps from the App Store is that it would just download the stub installer (web installer) which is little in size. The real Operating System will begin introducing after running the stub installer.
In this article, you will most likely download MacOS X Lion 10.7 full installer. You can make a bootable USB from the given record and complete a new introduce just as update the present establishment of your Mac OS.
About Apple Security Updates
For their clients’ insurance, Apple doesn’t uncover, examine, or affirm security issues until an examination has happened and fixes or discharges are accessible. Ongoing discharges are recorded on the Apple security refreshes page. For more data about security, see the Apple Product Security page. You can encode interchanges with Apple utilizing the Apple Product Security PGP Key.
If the download fails
If so, the only thing you ought to do is to pause and retry later. Or on the other hand, change from a remote to a satellite web association. If it is the case that this doesn’t help, go to App Store > View My Account and restart the download from the Unfinished Downloads segment.
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Alternatively, you can also download Mac OS X Lion 10.7 ISO/DMG from our website for free. The installation process will be similar to the installation process of the images downloaded from the app store.
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There are two different types of OS one is Mac OS X Lion 10.7 ISO, DMG and the other one is OS X mountain lion. So please don't get confused in both OS.
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dailynewswebsite · 3 years
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Coronavirus vaccine: understanding trial results, roll-out and what happens next – an expert guide
Coronavirus vaccines are being administered. Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine was the primary to complete the ultimate stage of testing – generally known as part 3 – and the complete outcomes have been revealed. Having assessed the information, nations are starting to authorise this vaccine for public use and roll it out.
Others should not too far behind. The Oxford/AstraZeneca vaccine is nearing the top of part 3, and the analysis staff has launched interim figures from the trial. These are mainly a sneak peek at how the testing goes, to substantiate the vaccine is working as anticipated. Full part Three outcomes are anticipated quickly.
Moderna, the opposite entrance runner, has additionally launched interim outcomes from its part Three trial.
With outcomes – each interim and closing – coming thick and quick, consultants from throughout The Dialog have been working laborious over the previous month to elucidate what these findings do (and don’t) inform us. We’ve pulled collectively their steering right here, along with knowledgeable evaluation on how vaccine roll-out could proceed and the newest information on vaccine hesitancy, which might be a vital hurdle to beat.
The analysis that’s introduced us right here Why fast vaccine improvement isn’t a priority Part Three trials and their slender focus How you can calculate a vaccine’s impact How you can interpret educational papers The distinction between vaccine efficacy vs effectiveness Why there’s excellent news for older folks Are we anticipating an excessive amount of from the primary vaccines? What’s happening with China’s vaccines?
How will vaccine roll-out play out? Why restrictions gained’t instantly disappear Who’s first in line to get vaccinated? Why ultra-cold vaccines are laborious to distribute The tough logistics of the Pfizer vaccine Are ‘immunity passports’ a good suggestion? Must you take a number of COVID-19 vaccines? Why Oxford’s vaccine is a gamechanger
How you can counter vaccine hesitancy A major quantity may reject a vaccine Why vaccine hesitancy is excessive amongst Black folks Why well being staff could also be vaccine hesitant What historical past tells us about how to reply to hesitancy Eight methods to construct public belief – recognized by consultants What pharma can do to construct belief in vaccines Ought to COVID-19 vaccines be obligatory? Is getting celebrities to endorse vaccines a good suggestion?
The analysis behind the vaccine roll-out
Fast vaccine improvement not a priority
There are issues that vaccine improvement has been rushed, however folks needn’t be fearful, writes Mark Toshner, Director of Translational Biomedical Analysis, College of Cambridge. It’s true that improvement usually takes ten years, however this can be a unhealthy factor. Most of this time is spent in search of funding, on the logistics of establishing trials and navigating crimson tape. The speedy COVID-19 vaccine trials haven’t reduce corners – they’ve proven what’s doable once we take away all potential boundaries.
Part Three trials and their slender focus
Earlier than any outcomes, it’s essential to know what the part Three trials have been designed to inform us, says Sarah Caddy, Scientific Analysis Fellow in Viral Immunology, College of Cambridge. The main target of those trials is fairly particular: their main objective is to find out whether or not vaccination reduces the danger of an individual getting symptomatic COVID-19. This implies they’ll present whether or not a vaccine is secure and stops you getting sick, however not if it protects in opposition to extreme illness or stops folks from passing on the virus.
How you can calculate a vaccine’s impact
Part Three trials depend on folks getting naturally contaminated with the virus. One half of individuals are given the vaccine being examined, the opposite half a placebo. If fewer folks within the vaccinated group then go on to catch COVID-19, the vaccine is having an impact. The precise quantity of people that catch the virus is sort of low, which implies a statistical approach referred to as “energy evaluation” must be used to calculate the vaccine’s impact, explains Adam Kleczkowski, Professor of Arithmetic and Statistics, College of Strathclyde.
Trials want ample folks to catch COVID-19 to precisely predict a vaccine’s results – which means hundreds must be concerned. agsaz/Shutterstock
How you can interpret educational papers
Interim trial outcomes have been unveiled through press releases, however full analyses have been revealed in educational papers. As a lay reader, understanding the important thing factors of a journal paper and what the analysis does and doesn’t reveal may be troublesome. Nonetheless, asking particular questions when studying vaccine outcomes will help unlock their significance, explains Simon Kolstoe, Senior Lecturer in Proof-Based mostly Healthcare, College of Portsmouth. Studying an educational paper additionally turns into simpler for those who break it down into chunks and skim sure components first.
Vaccine efficacy vs effectiveness
Trials describe how effectively vaccines work utilizing a measure referred to as efficacy – which isn’t the identical as effectiveness, explains Zania Stamataki, Senior Lecturer in Viral Immunology, College of Birmingham. Efficacy is the efficiency of a remedy beneath very best and managed circumstances, whereas effectiveness is efficiency beneath real-world circumstances. Usually effectiveness finally ends up being decrease than efficacy: folks skipping boosters, a virus mutating or the vaccine’s results waning over time can all decrease how protecting it’s in the true world.
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COVID-19 vaccines must be efficient in older folks, as most deaths are amongst this group. Rido/Shutterstock
There’s excellent news for older folks
Demographic elements additionally impression vaccine effectiveness – significantly age. Over time, our immune system turns into much less in a position to mount an efficient response in opposition to pathogens or vaccines. So on this gentle, these first vaccines look very promising, says Zania Stamataki, Senior Lecturer in Viral Immunology, College of Birmingham. All of them appear to have elicited a superb response in older trial individuals. That is essential, as we all know older persons are extra susceptible to COVID-19, and so are most in want of safety.
However are we anticipating an excessive amount of?
When the Pfizer vaccine outcomes had been introduced, some commentators had been fast to recommend issues could be again to regular by spring. This appears optimistic, says Sarah Pitt, Principal Lecturer in Microbiology and Biomedical Science Observe, College of Brighton. We don’t know but whether or not these first vaccines will cease folks spreading the virus or simply cease them from getting sick. Rolling them out can also be going to take time – with many components of the world having to attend for doses to be produced and delivered. Normalcy should still be a way off.
What’s happening with China’s vaccines?
Whereas consideration within the west has targeted on the Pfizer, Moderna and AstraZeneca vaccines, Chinese language authorities have authorised a number of vaccines developed by Chinese language corporations – and over a million folks in China have already been vaccinated. However worryingly, the vaccines being given haven’t been by means of part Three trials – fairly, the present roll-out is being handled as the ultimate stage of testing. Right here’s what we learn about these vaccines’ security and efficacy – defined by Adam Taylor, Early Profession Analysis Chief, Griffith College.
How will vaccine roll-out play out?
Restrictions gained’t instantly disappear
With vaccine roll-out now underway, there’s good motive to be optimistic concerning the future, writes Manal Mohammed, Lecturer in Medical Microbiology, College of Westminster. However, she argues, it might be a horrible mistake to ease up on management measures: the Pfizer vaccine solely reaches full impact six weeks after the primary jab, and we don’t but know if any of those vaccines cease transmission. Taking these and different elements into consideration, masks sporting and social distancing should still be wanted for a while – maybe as much as a yr.
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Youngsters generate stronger immune responses, so prioritising them for vaccination may be simpler at slowing the virus’s unfold. Shutterstock
Who’s first in line to get vaccinated?
It’s not doable folks to vaccinate everybody instantly, so folks must be prioritised – however who ought to go first? There are instances each for prioritising youngsters and older folks. Certainly, totally different nations are adopting totally different stances. The UK is focusing initially on vaccinating the aged and people working in well being and care; France is doing the identical however can also be prioritising those that are extremely uncovered, reminiscent of college and transport workers.
Extremely-cold vaccines are laborious to distribute
The Pfizer vaccine must be saved at -80⁰C, which is an enormous problem, says Michael Head, Senior Analysis Fellow in International Well being, College of Southampton. The tools and prices concerned in sustaining this temperature may make delivering the vaccine to distant or poorer areas very troublesome. Even in high-income nations, many medical practices don’t have the means to maintain it this chilly. Due to this, subsequent vaccines that don’t need to been saved at such a low temperature may find yourself being most popular in some components of the world.
And transport is a logistical puzzle
As soon as the Pfizer vaccine has been thawed out to be used, it solely retains for 5 days. It additionally degrades when moved, so can solely be transported a sure variety of instances. To get round these limits, UK authorities have labored laborious on the “last-mile” logistics wanted to get the vaccine to sufferers sufficiently cool and undisturbed. Down the road, it’d make sense to shift manufacturing of the Pfizer vaccine to nations the place it’s being administered, to cut back transportation.
Are ‘immunity passports’ a good suggestion?
Paperwork that certify that you just’ve had the virus or a vaccine are being adopted by some nations, together with the UK. They shouldn’t be used to find out whether or not somebody can enter a rustic or institution, the British authorities has mentioned, however that doesn’t imply they gained’t be used on this method. That is problematic, as we don’t but know sufficient about COVID-19 immunity to ensure that somebody who has been contaminated or vaccinated poses no threat to others.
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Immunity passports exist already for another illnesses, reminiscent of yellow fever. Cre8 design/Shutterstock
Must you take a number of COVID vaccines?
Taking vaccine boosters or totally different vaccines (when accessible) is okay, says Tracy Hussell, Professor of Inflammatory Illness, College of Manchester. Priming the immune system with one shot after which boosting it with one other is a standard apply in immunology. It doesn’t matter if the vaccine used to prime the immune system is totally different from the one used to spice up, so long as they each goal the identical factor. Because the three main vaccines all goal the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein, they need to be efficient at boosting each other.
Why Oxford’s vaccine is a gamechanger
The Oxford/AstraZeneca vaccine’s efficacy is decrease than Pfizer’s, nevertheless it ought to nonetheless be a world gamechanger, writes Michael Head, Senior Analysis Fellow in International Well being, College of Southampton. It doesn’t must be frozen, as an alternative maintaining for six months in a daily fridge. It additionally prices solely US$four a shot – 5 instances lower than Pfizer’s. However maybe most significantly, AstraZeneca has dedicated to offering much more of its vaccine to nations outdoors of Europe and the US. This may very well be the vaccine that protects the low-income world.
How you can counter vaccine hesitancy
A major quantity may reject a vaccine
Varied surveys have discovered that COVID-19 vaccine hesitancy is an issue, says Gul Deniz Salali, Lecturer in Evolutionary Anthropology/Drugs, UCL. However the elements that predict or clarify hesitancy may be difficult. Believing in conspiracy theories and being vaccine hesitant go hand in hand, for instance, however there are different elements at play too. Individuals’s perceptions of threat, ranges of tension and news-consumption habits are all related to accepting vaccines. Misinformation on social media can also be a driver of scepticism.
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As a result of they’re at excessive threat, Black males are amongst those that could profit most from a vaccine. Mongkolchon Akesin/Shutterstock
Why hesitancy is excessive amongst Black folks
Surveys within the US and the UK have proven that vaccine hesitancy is considerably increased amongst Black folks than white folks. Nonetheless, the scepticism of many Black folks can’t be seen as simply one other anti-vaxxer response, argues Winston Morgan, Reader in Toxicology and Scientific Biochemistry, College of East London. Reasonably, it’s the manifestation of years of poor medical remedy and questionable practices in drug improvement skilled by Black folks, which nonetheless proceed in medical trials and healthcare to today.
Healthcare staff could also be hesitant too
Analysis has additionally proven {that a} vital variety of well being staff are hesitant to take a COVID-19 vaccine. They’ve the identical issues as members of the general public, wanting assurance about security and side-effects, says Lynn Williams, Reader in Psychology, College of Strathclyde. As extra data turns into accessible, authorities can present this reassurance, which might be a lot wanted: well being staff are at higher threat from the virus and can play a key position in selling vaccination – so their uptake should be excessive.
We must always pay attention, not condemn
Vaccine scepticism has a protracted historical past, which ought to nudge us in direction of a extra considerate and productive dialog about vaccines. Widespread scepticism is commonly a product of residents’ relationship with the state, and traditionally has been primarily based on professional issues about security and rights fairly than irrational conspiracy theories. At this time, too, we must be open to the nuanced the explanation why folks hesitate.
Specialists establish methods to construct public belief
The Verified undertaking has produced eight ideas to information authorities on tips on how to discuss vaccines and construct belief in them, having gathered the opinions of behavioural psychologists, medical anthropologists, neuroscientists and others. They recommend beginning by discovering the widespread floor between what you hope to attain and what issues to your viewers. Being the primary to speak a few topic, utilizing the precise messengers and being up entrance about your motives may assist too.
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Drug builders don’t often publicly share how they run trials, however curiosity in COVID-19 has led to higher transparency. Carlos l Vives/Shutterstock
What pharma can do to construct belief
Pharma corporations can construct belief in vaccines by being extra clear, argues Charles Weijer, Professor of Drugs, Epidemiology and Biostatistics, and Philosophy, Western College. Vaccine builders have taken some steps in the precise route, reminiscent of publishing the protocols for his or her part Three trials. However they need to go additional – by making clear who sits on the committees monitoring the trials, disclosing particulars of any critical opposed occasions skilled by individuals, and making the (anonymised) trial knowledge publicly accessible for scrutiny afterwards.
Ought to COVID-19 vaccines be obligatory?
Provided that a lot of folks get vaccinated will we attain herd immunity – the place sufficient persons are resistant to COVID-19 to cease it from spreading freely. To realize this, some have steered vaccines must be made obligatory (although the UK authorities has dominated this out). However with excessive charges of COVID-19 vaccine hesitancy, is that this the precise name? On this piece, two consultants put ahead the case for and in opposition to making these vaccines obligatory.
Are superstar endorsements a good suggestion?
The NHS plans to enlist celebrities and influencers to influence folks to get vaccinated. Whereas some may roll their eyes, celebrities have promoted authorities messages for years – and so they’ve confirmed to be extremely efficient. But it surely doesn’t at all times work, as Elvis’s assist of polio vaccination confirmed within the 1950s. Individuals, then and now, are able to being instructed by a star to do one thing and, for all kinds of causes, declining to do it.
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from Growth News https://growthnews.in/coronavirus-vaccine-understanding-trial-results-roll-out-and-what-happens-next-an-expert-guide/ via https://growthnews.in
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joanelizebeth · 4 years
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dreamers: don’t die
I know you think none of this matters anymore. You don’t even care so much to abide by sentence structure. The newest version of the new you could give two shits about what the Oxford comma even is. You don’t write to attain a grade anymore. You don’t write to get into college anymore. You write because……...
Dot. Dot. Dot ...still thinking, uploading, pending, synching. The world you once believed in, the audience still waiting on the last time you gave serious, genuine, interested, effort into your skill...
But something always causes the pen to stop writing before it actually intended on stopping. Suddenly the fingers stop typing at the keyboard...
You look up to kiss him goodnight (you realize he’s filling up his water bottle to head to bed), & so you shrug silently to yourself, “oh, this isn’t anything big I’m working on anyway right now, I can pause this and put it away.” NBD! Easy! 
Dot. Dot. Dot. 
The laptop closes and we don’t even recognize the severity of the moment. Such a subtle, little... moment, right?
My dad, born in 1953, believed in a lifelong dream of getting a Corvette. He got it when I was like 5. I’d sit in the back and stare up at the Wisconsin stars and think “I’m gonna chase my dreams like this one day, and never stop driving.” I’m 24, he hasn’t driven it regularly since I was 9. 
One day that garage door closed for the last time that he’d ever take that red corvette out, before giving up on remembering why he’d made it such a life goal in the first place...
And suddenly years and years later, so many pauses, so many put away ideas, brainstorming lists, and even frickin potential tweets and instagram captions fill up nothing but receipt space in your Notes app (a habit kept like my mom’s iconic giant black purse, all too familiar: like a landfill of thin crumpled papers, dollars, and big break ideas, always meant to go somewhere someday, right?).
Ideas are only dangerous if you feed them. House them. Watch them age, and help them develop into actions. As an artist, but really as an overthinker; it’s a game within your own creative intellect to balance the test of modern revolutions and trends & the analytical application of methods classically proven to work. We must not think we have to choose one or the other, but learn how to derive new opinions, ideas, and experiments by utilizing both thought-habits to new, peaceful third productive outcome to remain open minded to perspectives of people with much different life experiences and lives, different reality lenses than our own. 
Three dots that wait to continue the conversation, as eager as a new college grad awaits the dialog after sending a cover letter. The art of a cover letter? Is that really an art? I find well crafted writing with any purpose other than for the passion that letters themselves inspired one to pursue opportunity, to be a mockery of language itself. Do not exploit my talent, do not disrespect my education, for you have no idea what I’ve learned behind the closed doors of my personal life and interests, of things beyond what the ACT scans for. I might have read AP Chemistry in 5th grade, I might have read my father’s divorce journal during the military, you have no academic acclaim in my eye to judge the motivation behind why I type what I type. What I say and why I say so is something I’m still discovering myself, but I question the validity of my talent, of my career, every day that I realize I don’t have a stupid Bachelor’s Degree Paper saying that I majored in English and also sucked up to the professor’s particular philosophy. I’ve read more books in my lifetime than days I’ve spent in school. I’m not lying. I’m 24, one year out of college, one year a resident in the city of Angels: dying. Dying of Apathy. The same criminal that tried to take me when I tasted a life of comfort.
You need more than ambition now. Now, more than ever, you need to focus. To stop picking up your phone to see if he viewed your story, even if you’re alone in a foreign world and don’t know a single soul who understands your context. You can’t drop the mask now and visit Aunt Linda after church at Starbucks. You can’t force smiles anymore to strangers, trying to convince other people why you moved here with a dream. But why not? You can’t force strangers, you can’t force friends, you can’t force family to believe in you if you’ve chosen to stop believing in yourself. So cheesy, those words must have come from someone from Wisconsin. Regardless, reality.
The months fly by like EXPO tickets at a busy restaurant, once they’re gone they’re forgotten. 
So many months, so many days, so many interactions with strangers on the street. Things we don’t think about. It’s been a year, what the fuck have I accomplished? I haven’t even written a Goddamn thing on a computer since I worked at ESPN. When my voice felt validated. I could have stayed. How many nights do I wake up jerking, imagining the best case scenario of an unrealistic positive scenario of the other side of the crossroads we faced when we were only a little bit younger? But I chose to move from Wisconsin to California. I believed in myself when I bought that flight, when I wobbly-handed my debit card to the TJ Maxx cashier for that suitcase, the one suitcase I moved here with. Flyin’ solo sounds more glamorous in quote form. It was really lonely. But day by day things can really, really; really improve. 
Those restaurant tickets are forgotten. We take shots at the end of the night with both BOH and FOH together, completely forgetting about that side of chipotle ranch for that lemon lady that was never ran. We move on in life and don’t care about the little details that occur around us as we take in the information overload called being alive. 
But among those tickets, among those many little random tickets, big, small, we know the clock out feeling still leaves us smiling, wondering why even if work was hectic, it was worth it. It was and is always worth coming back again, even when we have slow nights. Just kinda like how, even if we haven’t gotten verified on Instagram or Twitter, we still kinda like life in LA.
Tickets fly by like days, weeks, months, even years lived in Los Angeles, and I don’t fast forward through those moments as I previously had. I used to guilt trip myself for not being “critically acclaimed” whatever the fuck that means, yet if I were to forever focus on that rubric as the sole way to define my sense of self, I’d land up where my brain of creative fire fears most: apathy. Not caring. Not having emotion. Make excuses to replace the thoughts of guilt, the thoughts that comfort me into affirmation that my negligence, my lack of work ethic, my dwindling inspiration that was once the sturdy backbone I had as my secret weapon during the fight.
Those tickets don’t matter. A side of ketchup you forgot to run a few days ago that you just remembered doesn’t matter. But the concept of tickets not mattering ever is just as common and dangerous a mistake to make as getting caught up in labels, titles, and details. 
The days I’ve been in Los Angeles, I haven’t acted in feature films, modeled free outfits on Melrose, made out with Halsey backstage, or had some magical unrealistic moment where someone wants to read my poetry or script ideas drunkenly on the patio at Berkshire House. At the end of the shift, the restaurant tickets don’t matter, right? Or do they?
At the end of the day, the time I spent in LA without getting a self affirming job doesn’t matter, right? All this time I have spent living in LA with strangers and paying rent that seems so expensive, is it a waste of my life? These days in LA that pass by without me making my “big break” are a fucking waste of time, right? Or are they? 
But,
Did you learn Street names? Freeway names? Did coffee shop faces begin to become recognizable by name? What about your favorite parking spot at work? What about when the Uber app recognizes your patterns and little favorite spots? Do you have a coworker you vent to about all the BS banter from certain regular customers? What about the checkout lady at the grocery store where you get your favorite coffee creamer? Has the weight of meaning of seeing a familiar friends’ handwriting on a postcard carried its weight a little differently? All these little things, all those little tickets at work, never seem to matter in the moment, but at the end of the day, at the end of our shift: they’re what makes us feel at home. Habits are what makes the difference between what feels like a house and what feels like a home. 
You’ve made what was just a house, now a home. Through habit. Through noticing.
Although Apathy is a real phase we all sometimes experience in life due to comfort and lack of change, apathy doesn’t have to corner us into self imposing a giant change upon our lives, forcing us to lose something we love. We can fight these fits of apathy, of self doubt, of questioning everything, by …
Dot Dot Dot...
Does anyone have an answer?
My answer to Apathy, to a dead soul, to feelings of  “why hasn't anyone noticed what I’m capable of yet?” is that the answer never mattered to a dumb self conceited question to begin with. 
Remember those tickets. Remember those days. Remember those that laughed at your jokes, asked to take pictures with you, invited you to parties, or smiled at you with a sense of familiar relief when you punched into work. People have been noticing you. Have you been noticing them?
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punkrockpolitix · 4 years
Text
Strategy or Delusion?
by Mitch Maley — By the time Donald Trump returned to the White House from Walter Reed Medical Center, made a grand gesture of taking off his mask despite still being contagious, and was caught on video struggling to catch his breath right after resuming his "this is basically the flu" line, it seemed as if every one of the Trump 2020 train’s wheels had jumped the track. With only a month to go until the election, regaining momentum seemed implausible, at best. But this week’s campaign reboot suggests that the president is going into the final weeks of this election intent on doubling down on his 2016 strategy. Only time will tell, whether this is a brilliant tactic, the sad default of a malignant narcissist, or both.
Elected in 2016 with just 46 percent of the vote and on an Electoral College coalition that consisted of just 70,000 votes spread across Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania, Trump has been unable to hit even one 50 percent approval rating since taking office nearly four years ago, and he’s been as low as 35 percent recently. As such, it’s hard to argue that he’s not the most polarizing and divisive president in modern history, if not the entire history of our nation. That said, he’s remained among the most popular presidents in terms of his approval rating with those who identify as Republicans. Because that number has dropped to just 25 percent of voters, however, it’s still problematic from a strategic standpoint, especially since his 6 percent average approval rating from Democrats is the lowest ever recorded (for perspective, an average of 14 percent of Republicans approved of the job President Obama did over his two terms).
I think we can all agree that the first debate between Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden was a shitshow wrapped in a hot mess, tossed into a dumpster fire. However, Trump made the mistake of setting the bar so low for Biden that all he had to do was appear to be conscious and he’d exceed most expectations. For his part, Trump slipped right into his usual stick of firehosing the dialog with misinformation and then interrupting his opponent incessantly. This isn’t a terrible tactic if you hold the inferior position in terms of factual accuracy and/or your opponent is just a better debater or is more informed on the issues. There were rumors that perhaps it was a deliberate tactic to play hell with Biden’s stuttering problem and you could see the former Veep closing his eyes and steadying his mind at such times, a tactic often used in those circumstances by those who suffer from the affliction.
But while that may have allowed Trump to shift away from subjects he wanted to avoid or toward others he wanted to exploit, it did not seem like it was done with a lot of situational awareness. Right now, about 31 percent of American voters identify as Democrats. As noted, 25 percent identify Republican and 40 percent claim independence, with the rest belonging to third parties. Trump’s fragile, patch-quilt 2016 victory included success among independents and even Democrats, which made up for the fact that a sizable group of Republicans refused to support their party’s nominee.
Known as the Never Trumpers, there’s scant evidence to suggest he’s won a meaningful number of them over during his first term. Polling also suggests that many more Democrats who couldn’t bring themselves to vote for Hillary Clinton or thought that she was destined to win and that they could send the party a message or deny her a popular mandate by staying home or voting third party, are poised to vote blue no matter who after four years of Trump. That means Trump will either have to do even better with the white, upper-middle-class and affluent suburban independent voters who helped him win in 2016, or expand the voting base.
Option one has likely passed him by. White suburban voters of all stripes, but particularly women, have been hurling themselves off the Trump train for months. Any chance of wooing them went out the window with his debate strategy. While his core 30 percent "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters" bloc likely loved the schoolyard bullying tactics, female moderates and independents were revolted by what many described as petty, childish antics and a disturbing lack of basic impulse control. 
Vice President Mike Pence may have been somewhat more reserved when he employed similar tactics against Senator Kamala Harris in the Veep debate, but there was a rub. While there were only three men onstage during the presidential debate, Pence was the lone male among two females. The way he constantly interrupted, spoke over and ignored both the moderator and his opponent made for a bad look and likely reminded many female voters of the worst male figures they’ve encountered—misogynistic egomaniacs who found their thoughts cute but unnecessary and were always willing to explain things so they’d better understand. If you listened closely, you could hear more bodies hitting the ground as they hurled themselves off the Trump train.
Trump’s worst polling metrics have come on both his logistic handling of the coronavirus outbreak and whether or not he’s taken the pandemic seriously, so by the time he finally went and caught the virus himself before seemingly spreading it to dozens and dozens of other people while not exercising recommended safety precautions, too many Americans were already questioning his ability to lead for a repeat of that razor thin 2016 coalition to seem plausible. I honestly thought the election was over.
But when Trump tweeted two videos from Walter Reed, things got a little weird. If you haven’t seen them, you can watch the first one here and the second one here. The president seems humbled and a bit shaken. He’s adopted grandpa pesona that’s choc-full of folksiness, along with words and body language completely out of character with the Trump we’re used to. He was an optimistic cheerleader and, for the first time in his presidency, made no effort to divide his audience. I admittedly thought to myself, if he stays in the hospital and maintains this posture through Election Day, he could definitely pull this off.
Then Gramps got ahold of the keys to the hermetically sealed SUV and decided to spread some love to supporters waiting outside the hospital—and perhaps some COVID to staff and Secret Service forced to join him on the foolish stunt that would come to rival his infamous bible photo op taken at a church near the White House, but only after hundreds of peaceful protestors were hit with tear gas to clear the way.
Whether it was the outraged response piercing his paper-thin skin or just the effects of the cocktail of expensive, experimental drugs they were pumping into his system, Trump wound up right back on twitter playing his hit list. But things really took a hard turn on Monday night when Trump gave his first post-hospital stump speech at a rally in Sanford, FL. There were few masks and no social distancing at the massive event (Governor Ron Desantis was even caught on video high-fiving a long receiving line of attendees, then rubbing his nose in what will become a classic Flori-duh moment should he test positive). Trump—presumably hopped up on his go-to trifecta of KFC, Diet Cokes and Sudafed—was bursting with energy and bragging about the possibility that he was permanently immune to a disease he continued to downplay. If you listened closely, you could hear the bodies of even more independent suburban voters throwing themselves from the train.
Clearly, Trump does not possess the discipline to stick to a strategy—any strategy. He’s only got one act and rather than reinvent himself or even work out some new material, he’s content to play to friendly audiences who just want to hear the same tired one liners: Lock her up, Build the Wall, something, something, Benghazi! For good measure, Trump even promised a post-election surprise. Fans of democracy (the ideology not the legendary Sarasota reggae band), were up in arms the week before when Trump suggested that Attorney General William Barr should have already indicted his opponent for the "greatest political crime in the history of our country."
While a sitting president calling for the arrest of an opponent he’s losing to, just weeks before an election, does stink of banana republic (the political term for a backward country with a rudimentary political system, not the retail clothing chain that sells overpriced Gap chinos to the same voters Trump is hemorrhaging), it seems he may have been seeding his pitch. During Monday’s speech, Trump promised that Biden, Clinton and many more would be indicted … after he wins the election. Now, while adhering to an actual strategy would have been much better in terms of his chances for reelection, it’s clear he can’t do that. And since the post-COVID personality transplant only seems to have lasted a single day, doubling down might actually be his best bet.
The vote of those who pay attention and participate tends to harden at this point in a contest. Given that polling shows Trump is still losing supporters, his only chance is expanding the electorate. The challenge with that is that swing states like Florida and Wisconsin have already passed their voter registration deadline for this election. Pennsylvania and Michigan voters can only register until October 19. But there are also a lot of registered voters who don’t typically cast ballots. The numbers make it clear that a majority of current American voters are even more repelled by Trump’s policies, platform and/or personality than they were in 2016. But one metric that’s been consistently impressive for Trump has been voter enthusiasm. Those who love him, do so dearly, and the strategy between now and November 3 seems to be to get everyone of those sort out to the polls, especially the ones who didn’t vote for him in 2016.
Given the massive advantage Democrats hold in vote-by-mail requests, Trump likely only has to get within 5 percent of the total votes cast to wind up ahead on the evening of November 3. Even though there will likely be millions of votes still to be counted and it looks all but certain that Biden will have most of them just because he’s not Trump, the president has already telegraphed his next move: stop counting the votes and hope Republicans in Congress and the conservative majority on the Supreme Court can find a way to keep him in office without blood being spilled in the streets and the nation devolving into something close to a civil war.
Sure, it’s entirely possible that enough people have had enough of the Trumps that Biden will win by an unexpectedly wide margin on election night and the whole thing will be over, but the prize for that will be a cadre of NeoLiberal corporatist warmongers descending on Washington while under the delusion that they’ve earned some sort of historic mandate. I know, none of them are attractive options, but given that we’re cueing up for the final act of a year that’s been nothing short of the personification of human misery, it’s the presidential election we should expect.
Dennis “Mitch” Maley has been a journalist for more than two decades. A former Army Captain, he has a degree in government from Shippensburg University and is the author of several books, which can be found here.
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