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inkskinned · 10 months

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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

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wasyago · 3 months

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a random cleo in armor

#wanted to draw here but didn't have any ideas. when in doubt draw armor☝️#cleo is fun to draw i like her color scheme. but i still need to get better at drawing different body types #this one isn't bad but i feel like i could've done better. need to practice more #hermitcraft #zombiecleo #my art #sketch #also im rushing to post all the backlogged hc art before season 10 starts so there will be 2(+) post per day until then #it's not necessary but i feel like otherwise it'll just drown in the new stuff

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petitelappin · 6 months

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"For a moment or two I could see nothing, as the shadow of a cloud obscured St. Mary’s Church and all around it. Then as the cloud passed I could see the ruins of the abbey coming into view; and as the edge of a narrow band of light as sharp as a sword-cut moved along, the church and the churchyard became gradually visible. Whatever my expectation was, it was not disappointed, for there, on our favourite seat, the silver light of the moon struck a half-reclining figure, snowy white."

Mina and Lucy in the kirkyard at Whitby, August 11th.

#my art #dracula #mina murray #mina harker #lucy westenra #digital art #i realized as i was finishing this up that they look very much like how i draw donna and laura but yknow what?#thats not a bad thing! a lot of parallels! a lot of themes! a lot of trying to save the best friend you are incapable of saving #once again I spent too long looking at old clothing catalogues bc i love the little references mina and lucy make to idea of the new woman #and they def talk about it like an Other but also w a bit of awe and im sure theres a lot to unpack there #but it made me wanna put mina in something new-woman-adjacent #lets get her a little bit leyendecker yknow?

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bleakbluejay · 3 months

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you motherfuckers have no concept of what "land back" or "decolonize" even mean. you're too busy demonizing entire groups of people, terrified, shitting yourselves, that they'll do even half of the horrors to you that you've done to them for decades or centuries. this shit comes off as hella racist for real. you hate arabs so much. you hate first nations people so much. you hate black people so much. even if you sympathize with them, you can't fucking bear the idea of them gaining freedom, independence, autonomy, safety, because you're so, so scared they'll hurt you back and cause chaos in the streets. these same people who just want to rebuild. who just want to go home. who just want to see their families again. who just want food. who just want medical care. who just want dry, warm shelter. you're so focused on the ideas of colonization, of "us vs. them", of one people displacing the other for a state to exist, that you cannot comprehend coexistence, and your only idea of peace is if an entire group of people were just gone and dead.

grow the fuck up. for the love of GOD, grow the fuck up.

#eli talks #rant #i just watched a video shared by someone i'd been following a while denying the genocide occuring in gaza entirely #are you kidding. are you fucking kidding me.#the video was trying to run with the idea that “from the river to the sea” means jewish people will be expelled from the region #no the fuck it does not you stupid motherfucker that's NOT what decolonization is #anyway. land back. decolonize. from the river to the sea. peace and love on planet earth.#stop razing olive trees. stop scorching the earth. stop bombing hospitals and schools. stop destroying the sea.#if i have to see another palestinian child undergo anesthesia-free amputation im going to start being physically fucking violent #if i have to see another mother with blood on her hands wailing and begging for her child to come back im going to start burning shit #one day all the people of palestine will be free. muslims and jews and christians and all and none.#one day all the people of sudan will be free. all the people in the congo will be free. all the peoples in the americas will be free.#and all the other occupied places suffering genocides and ethnic cleansings that the news neglects to mention. theyll be free too.

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prettieinpink · 5 months

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NEW YEAR, NEW ME

( A collab with thee lovely lele @bloombabydoll )

If you want to reinvent and rebrand yourself, or just continue to make positive improvements in 2024, the first thing is to evaluate your current year.

EVALUATION

Reflect on how things went for you. Was there continuous growth? Were there many difficult times? Did you discover anything major about yourself and so on. Try to summarise your year in (a) paragraph(s) at least.

Oversee your goals. Which ones you didn’t, did achieve, difficult ones, easy ones and the impacts it had on your life.

Compare your dream girl then and now. Is your visualisation of your life currently different to the one you have now and why?

List any major losses or successes you’ve had in your life, and how they have helped you or why it matters to you.

This evaluation can be as detailed or simple as you like, but as long as you have a decent outline of your year.

PREPARING & PLANNING

To prepare for 2024, you want to know what you want life to be like in 2024. Something realistic to a point, but still is a growth journey.

Think of something that you can associate with 2024. This can be a word, a symbol, art, a song, a book, a movie, a place, or even just all of these things. When you think about your goals and your journey, this is your theme. This is something that should relate to your goals or your dream girl somehow.

For me, I chose a word and a song. My word is growth because, for me, 2023 was a year for just being able to shed my old self which I did achieve however I just felt there wasn’t much growth as an actual person and not just in my environment.

For my song, it is Mayflowers by Proleters and Taskrok. This song is the epitome of what I would imagine, is the most polished mindset. I would say perfect, but having a perfect mindset is near impossible. I want to have a mindset glow up because I’ve just been hard on myself lately which has caused my confidence to plummet.

Before we get into the fun part of the preparation stage, we have to do some organisation in our life. I want you to take a look at your daily lifestyle and your habits, and be completely unashamed about this.

Then categorise these habits into two sections; Leave and Leap. Leave habits are habits that you are leaving behind in 2023, leap habits are habits that are leaping into 2024 with you.

Any habits that are self-destructive, addictive or generally harmful are leave habits. Beneficial habits and self-building are leaping with you into the new year.

I want you to do the same for people in your life, all environments (school, work, online etc) and anything else you believe needs to be sorted out.

This works better if you can reason with yourself why it is a leaping or leaving habit, but don’t try to convince yourself a bad habit is good or vice versa.

Now, I want you to document an honest paragraph about who you are right now. List your bad and good habits, your strengths and weaknesses and your behaviours. This one requires a bit more detail.

Then, write a paragraph about who you will be in 2024, your dream girl. List her habits, lifestyle, behaviours, mindset, strengths and anything else extra. I’ll explain later but do not include materialistic desires in this your dream girl. Once again, this one also requires details.

Stemming from those paragraphs, I want you to create specific and achievable goals. SMART goals are best, but I want to introduce you to how I set goals.

I divide my year into quarters. For each 3 months, I have 3-5 goals for those months. Usually, it’s one from each area of my life. Then, I break down these goals.

Questions and How They Help

Why do I want to do this goal - For motivation and commitment.

How it’ll benefit me - For the sake of improvement.

How can I involve myself in this goal - To achieve your goal.

I prefer this method because it is a lot simpler for me, as I am just a young girl and my bigger goals are more in the future in which I’ll utilise SMART goals.

To create good goals; Make sure they align with your current values and life principles first. Try to avoid creating goals that you have just taken from the internet. Those goals just aren’t it and you most likely won’t follow through with it.

Be specific. Don’t say you want to eat more healthily, instead say you want to include (a certain group of veggies/fruits) in your diet and reduce the intake of ( food/drink).

E.g using eating healthy example

I want to eat healthy -> I want to start including foods that boost my immunity system and support my skin while reducing those that have the opposite effect.��

Then break down those quarterly goals into monthly, weekly and daily goals. Make these habits that you can establish in your lifestyle and have a way in which you can refer back to your progress.

EXAMPLE GOAL BREAKDOWN

Quarterly Goal - Read 6 books.

Monthly Goal - Finish 2 books.

Weekly Goal - Be or near half way of one book.

Daily Goal - 20 minutes of reading per day.

AREAS TO SET GOALS IN YOUR LIFE

Academics

Spiritual

Fitness/sport

Health and wellbeing

Mental health

Personal life

Relationships

Hobbies and recreation

Now for the best part- vision boards! Collect all of your favourite images that embody your quarters or the whole year, then put them in one place where you can see them regularly!

Some ideas are a scrapbook, Pinterest boards, mood boards, playlists etc.

Choose your theme; It can be your healthy girl era, your academic come back or whatever you want. You can have more than two btw.

Use quotes! Then actually say them in your daily life as a way to shift your mindset to reflect said quote.

Include inspirational people. It doesn't even have to be a millionaire or a very well established person, it could be your friends or someone on the internet.

Be imaginative. Your vision board doesn't have to realistic in my opinion, as the whole point of it to me is that viewing it daily and considering it to be part of your life one day allows for you to open up to those opportunities.

Materialistic Wants

I feel obligated to make this a separate section. This section is practically tangible objects that you want.

However, when choosing this said object that you want, mindfully think about why you want that thing specifically.

It doesn’t have to be meaningful, but as long as each thing on that list has got a purpose to you, and will serve you, I think it’s all good!

Conclusion

If you want, you can definitely start implementing habits before January. However, I believe that as long as you go into 2024 at least knowing who you want to be and shedding away any limiting beliefs, you’ll be fine.

Make sure to incorporate some self care rituals into your daily life as well✨

To end this, I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas! And that 2024 they will achieve to close that gap with their current selves and their dream girl selves! 💖🙏

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brother-emperors · 9 months

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something. about. the horror of being sent on an impossible (death) quest and obligations and hospitality politics. the trauma of not having a home, and then the trauma of being in a house that becomes actively hostile to you, one that would swallow you whole and spit out your bones if you step out of line. all of this is conditional, your existence continues to be something men want gone.

it's about going back as far as I can with the perseus narrative because there's always a version of a myth that exists behind the one that survives. the missing pieces are clearly defined, but the oldest recorded version of it isn't there! and there's probably something older before that!! but it's doomed to forever be an unfilled space, clearly defined by an outline of something that was there and continues to be there in it's absence.

and love. it's also about love. even when you had nothing, you had love.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, this is Not About Ovid Or Roman-Renaissance Reception, Depictions And Discourses On The Perseus Narrative.

edit: to add to the above, while it's not about Ovid, because I'm specifically trying to peel things back to the oldest version of this story, Ovid is fine. alterations on the Perseus myth that give more attention Medusa predate Ovid by several centuries. this comic is also not about those, either! there are many versions of this story from the ancient world. there is not one singular True or Better version, they're all saying something.

Perseus, Daniel Ogden

Anthology of Classical Myth: Primary Sources in Translation, edited & translated by Stephen M Trzaskoma, R. Scott Smith, Stephen Brunet

#it's all greek to me #perseus #danae #komiks tag #long post #every other week i start to say something about how greek heroes are a good case study in diaspora and exile trauma #but man perseus makes me so sad. so does danae. she loves her son :(#perseus turning a whole island to stone is a huge mood. i would also do that if i were him #anyway (salutes) take care everyone i gotta watch yunho's new video it looks like a fucking movie im so excited #(i singled out ovid bc i remember the fucking shit perseus discourse that ran through this site. i remember #im preemptively loading a gun and pointing at it before it can touch this post #it hasn't died out either i see it on twitter all the time in the most ANNOYING ways possible i am TIRED #esp bc they're actually doing medusa a narrative disservice like congrats! you made it worse! stop telling me it's better!!!!)

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ruubesz-draws · 23 days

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When bae is angry at you

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lesbianshepard · 7 months

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Senator Feinstein's team have announced that, regardless of her passing, it will not impact her job performance and she will not be stepping down.

#m #im pretty sure she's been dead for years at this point #this announcement was just because the new intern broke one of her mummified arms #and they need that to puppeteer her corpse to push the button

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acarillustrated · 5 months

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thinking about mizu from blue eye samurai. thinking. thinking so much. thinking about how mizu operates outside of gender. like we joke about her gender being revenge but straight up? it literally is. like she grew up as a boy and is most comfortable being a man, but behind that is the feeling of betraying himself because he isn't being honest about who he is and he lives in fear of being discovered. and when he lived as a woman, she found joy there as well. she fell in love, and though she wasn't good at it, she liked being a wife and enjoying a simple life. but in that life too, she isn't being honest about who she is. and when she reveals her true self, it's not a woman, she's a demon, a weapon. she's to masculine to be a woman, and too feminine to be a man. ultimately, mizu is most comfortable when they are being a murder machine. that's when they feel they are being the most true to themself. like a sword, they are neither man nor woman, but a blend of both, which makes them stronger.

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crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington · 4 months

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RESIDENT EVIL BODY TYPES THE SEQUEL!

part one...!

#first day of the new year and im drawing shirtless men #ethan winters #karl heisenberg #leon kennedy #mia winters #THIS IS NO JOKE THE BEST MIA IVE EVER DRAWN #I COULDNT STO TELLING MY FRIENDS ABOUT HER #HEY GIRL...#i love u mia #i spent 15 minutes trying to draw ur nose and id do it all again #resident evil #resident evil fanart #rebhfun #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #re8 #i drew all of these using references of my own body #but im a 5'2 100 pound lanky asian girl #so i did have some trouble drawing karl #it bothers me when people draw leon as some slim tiny little baby #have u seen pictures of him #his bicep is literally the size of his head its almost absurd #GIVING EVERYONE FAT ROLLS BECAUSE I CAN!#THEY R ALL WELL FED AND HAPPY AND WARM AND CONTENT WITH LIFE!#dad bod ethan!!!!!#ethans body type is probably the hardest to draw accurately #because there isnt any really good refernce for him becuase he wears like THREE LAYERS #ethan is actually pretty thin in re7 #but idganarf 3 years have passed and he had a kid he has a dad bod now its true #he has muscle defiently though i dont think hes as musclely like leon or chris that would be insane

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yardsards · 2 years

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the owl house really said "familial love is stored in a gifted garment"

EDIT: forgot one! thanks @cat-eared-exam-taker

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #i was on the fence abt including either of the examples w amity and the twins #(esp the concealment stones bc idk if they even count as garments)#but i figured in both cases helping her be gay and do crimes is very much a form of affection from them even if less soft than the others #eda clawthorne #luz noceda #emira blight #edric blight #amity blight #darius toh #hunter toh #king clawthorne #alador blight #i want dadrius to get hunter a new cloak SO BAD #ive mentioned it before but i always go wild when stuff like this happens in fiction #bc i've always loved lending my jackets/shawls/scarves/hats/gloves to my irl friends #makes me feel like im protecting them and keeping them safe #and i knit and sometimes sew so p much all of my irl friends have AT LEAST gotten a hat #but i made of of them a long forest green cloak which he loved #it always makes me feel SO WARM INSIDE when i see someone wearing something i made them #but even seeing them wear things like friendship bracelets kinda makes me feel that way #i like having kinda made my mark on them even when not keeping them warm/covering them #not in a possessive ''show everyone that you're mine!'' way. none of it visibly ties back to me #(except in hs when i'd lend them my letterman's jacket w my surname on it)#but i know it's from me and they know it's from me and they chose to put that onto themself #my love language is acts of service and that's what i'm doing when i make someth handmade or lend em someth practical #but they can recieve it as gift-giving or a stand-in for physical affection. which both VERY MUCH do not come naturally to me

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dominicfikue · 2 months

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⃗ ❪ ATTENTION SEEKER ! ࣪ ❫ — m. sturniolo

starring. brat tamer!matt & spoiled!reader. | wc. 2,164

includes. smut. unprotected sex. oral ( m!receiving ). reader being the biggest brat in los angeles. semi-public sex? pet names. cutsie domestic stuff at the start. orgasm denial. dirty talk. daddy kink. that’s it … i think

storyline. you let your words get a little too reckless towards matt. what happens when he finally puts you in your place?

⌖.˚◌ to say you’re spoiled is an understatement. matt gave you any and everything you wanted without question. you had all the latest purses , any expensive makeup product known to man, clothes on top of clothes. he pays for your hair appointments, your nail trips, everything. name it and he’d buy it with no hesitation. he makes it his mission that you know nothing but princess treatment. he’d do anything for you. all for his angel.

the cool morning air that seeps in through the cracked window hits your bare body as you flutter your eyes open. you snuggle further into the brunette next to you, his arm draped over your waist. you place wet opened-mouth kisses on his shoulder causing him to stir in his sleep. matt lets out a groan, his eyes fluttering open just like yours did a couple seconds ago. when his eyes land on you, a sheepish grin takes over his features as he pulls you in closer.

“good morning princess. you sleep good?” his morning voice deep and raspy. you mumble a soft “yes” against his chest, your fingers drawing hearts on his skin. you both sit in comfortable silence, the birds chirping outside quickly becoming the only noise. after a while, you speak up. “you got any plans for today?” you question , tilting your head up to look at him. matt licks over his dry lips before answering. “yeah, i gotta run some errands. you wanna come?” he mumbles as he presses a kiss onto your plump ones.

your freshly manicured acrylics find their way into his curls , softy scratching at his scalp. he lets out a sigh , his eyes trained on yours. you nod your head to answer his previous question as you get out of bed , your naked body on display. matt’s lips curl into a smirk before he sits up on his elbow and reaches over to connect his hand with your left ass cheek. you yelp in surprise as you turn around to give him a glare. he throws his hands up in surrender before laughing and throwing his head back into the pillows.

⌖.˚◌ bodies by dominic fike echoes from the television as you sit at your vanity , applying a clear gloss to your perfectly lined lips. the smell of marijuana fills up your nostrils as matt walks into your shared bedroom. you glance up at him through the vanity mirror as you dust your bake off. he stands over you in a plain white tee and a lit blunt in between his lips. the two of you make eye contact as he takes a drag from the drug.

“you look good. fuck… a little too good.” he says lowly, taking the blunt into his other hand to grab your jaw and lean down to capture your mouth in a sloppy kiss, the gloss you just applied to your lips all over his now. when he pulls away, you give him a pout.

you had finally perfected your makeup and he comes in here, all sexy and high, ready to ruin your art. it’s not fair. he seems to catch onto what you’re trying to say because he takes his thumb to carefully wipe off the lip gloss that dripped down your chin. he mutters a quick “such a baby.” before sitting on the edge of the bed , continuing to smoke on the blunt. you once again place the clear gloss on your lips before getting up from your seat.

you have on a brown fresh love set with your panda dunks , the shoes going with everything. you quickly spray on your favorite perfume and put on your accessories before matt tells you it’s time to go as he puts the weed out. you look at yourself one last time in the mirror before walking out to the car with your boyfriend.

⌖.˚◌ seven hours. you and matt had been out for seven hours. when he said errands, you didn’t think he meant around the word tour. so far you guys have been to the car wash, best buy to get a new camera, the car dealership to get an oil change, best buy again to get something for his gaming set-up. i mean, the list could go on for days. as much as you loved being around him, this was not fun at all.

you guys walk into target, matt on the hunt for yet another thing you couldn’t remember. you drag your sore feet against the store floor, trying to keep up with matt. your lips are stuck in a permanent pout as you whine. matt turns around to look at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “what’s the matter? hm?” he asks, scouting the shelves for his mystery item.

“my feet hurt. i just wanna go home and sleep.” you pray that he gives in and bring you back to the apartment. unfortunately, he does the complete opposite. “i’m almost done, alright? just be patient for me.” he gives you a sympathetic smile before continuing his search. you roll your eyes before pulling out your phone and opening tiktok.

the first video that pops up on your for you page is a girl trying out a new blush. the perfect dusty rose color. you’re running out of the one you have at home so why not hurry and get a new one? you walk a couple steps over to matt who is yet again, looking at the shelves and glancing down at his phone. you tug on his t-shirt to catch his attention. “can we please go to ulta? pretty please?” you beg, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. he immediately shakes his head.

“you literally just said your feet hurt. no not today, baby. maybe tomorrow.” he explains. you feel like you’ve been stabbed in the chest. first, he takes you to all these boring places to grab boring things and now, he won’t treat you to the blush of your dreams? he’s so evil. “but why? why can’t we just go, matt?” you pester. matt lets out a deep sigh, rubbing a hand over his face.

“because i said no. don’t ask me again , y/n.” he says sternly. you groan loudly before crossing your arms over your chest. the pout from before becomes even deeper now. bratty tears start to pool in your eyes as you sniffle to try and keep them in. you knew you were acting like a child but you didn’t care. it just wasn’t fair how you always had to listen to him. so instead of communicating like a human being, you cry and stomp in the middle of target. if you weren’t getting this blush, you were making it everyone’s problem.

the look on matt’s face is unreadable as he watches you have your temper tantrum, silently waiting for you to finish. when you find yourself still complaining after five minutes, he takes it upon himself to interrupt you. “are you serious right now? get your fucking act together.” he whisper shouts. another five minutes pass and you’re still crying. he slams the object in his hand back down onto the shelf before harshly grabbing your arm and dragging you towards the exit.

when you get outside, you squirm against him as you try and get him to let go of you. him obviously being stronger than you makes this severely impossible. as you walk to the car, you can feel the anger radiating from his body. he swiftly opens the passenger side before throwing you inside, not caring if you hit your head. “fucking attention seeker.” he says under his breath. he quickly makes his way towards the driver side before getting in, starting the car and driving away.

⌖.˚◌ this was the worst car ride imaginable. there was nothing but pure silence. he didn’t even bother turning on the radio. he hasn’t looked at you once since he got in the car. usually he’d rest a hand on your thigh but not tonight. his arm laid on top of the console, not daring to move anywhere near yours. the vein on the side of his neck got more and more visible as the minutes passed. you couldn’t lie, he looked sexy.

you tried to ease the tension by letting your hand rest in his lap , inching closer and closer to his inner thigh. once he noticed what you were doing, he grabbed your hand and shoved it back into your bubble. you scoff at him, genuinely not seeing any flaws in the stunt you pulled earlier. “i don’t even know why you’re so mad. i’ve been following you around all day and the second i want something, yo—” you’re cut off by matt slamming on the brakes. you thank god that there wasn’t many people in the streets. he pulls over to park before speaking.

“get in the back right now. i swear y/n, if i have to repeat myself.” he mutters. you stare at him for a moment before complying, climbing into the back seat. he quickly follows suit, slightly pushing you over so he could sit comfortably. his hands work on his belt, quickly taking it off and pulling down his pants.

he slips out of his red plaid boxers, jerking himself like he had no time to waste. he grabs the back of your neck, nothing but darkness behind his eyes. “open.” he instructs as he gathers saliva in his mouth. you easily do as he asks, opening your mouth wide enough. he watches as his spit drips into your mouth before pulling you in for a quick, sloppy kiss. you quickly replace his hand with yours, stroking him slowly. he breaks away from your lips to throw his head back against the seat. you get on your knees next to him before leaning down and swirling your warm tongue over his pink tip.

“there ya go. always talking to me like you’re crazy, angel. try talking now.” he breathes out, pushing your head down further onto his length. you gag around him as his large hand keeps you still. he squirms in his seat for a moment before thrusting his hips up into your mouth repeatedly. deep groans and moans are heard from the boy above you as he gets closer and closer to his release.

“s-shit. im gonna cum. y’better swallow it all too. every last drop, you hear me?” he stutters. you try your best to nod around him. he thrusts into your mouth one last time before spilling his seed down your throat. you swallow all he has to give before lifting your head up and flashing him your tongue. he sends you a grin before softly kissing you, tasting himself on your tongue. his hands find their way to the waistband of your sweats, quickly tugging them down. you slump back in your seat to help him.

⌖.˚◌ once they’re finally off, he moves you onto his lap, making you straddle him. the kiss becomes more heated as he moves your pink lacy underwear to the side. he breaks the kiss before looking down and lining himself up with your entrance. he thrusts himself in and out of your velvety walls, his grip on your hip getting tighter. you let out a sigh, the stress from earlier leaving entirely.

“mmm matt. you feel so good! don’t stop.” you moan out. he attacks your neck, sucking dark bruises along the skin. his pace gets more rough by the second, basically knocking the wind out of your lungs. he reaches a hand down in between the both of you to rub your clit in sweet , short circles. “this was all you wanted huh? making a scene n shit so daddy could fuck the attitude outta you?” he shakes his head , faux disappointment on his face. you nod your head but that wasn’t enough for him. “use your fucking words. if you can talk shit, you can answer my question.” he says, his other hand now squeezing your cheeks together.

“mhm, t-that’s all i wanted.” you hiccup as his pace becomes even more relentless. he breathes a “good girl” before letting go of your face. you feel your orgasm approaching, the band in your stomach about to snap. your cunt clenches around him uncontrollably, moans and whimpers spilling from your lips. “gonna cum!” you basically scream out.

“don’t even think about it. you pull some shit like that n think i’m gonna let it slide?” he chuckles, his hips stuttering as he approaches his second orgasm of the night. he stills his movements, his cum filling you up to the brim. tears threaten to fall from your eyes again as he pulls out, pulling his underwear and pants back up. he moves your panties back to their original spot before speaking.

“think before you speak to me, yeah?” he smiles, kissing your forehead before climbing back into the front.

lai speaks. me after pushing the sturniolo stoner agenda… IM SORRY I HAD TO!!! i kinda actually hate this fic but who cares. i pray you can’t tell that i stopped trying at the end 😭😭😭. also honorable dominic fike mention …. i was gonna put she wants my money but we are not gold diggers over here!!!!

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