#im trying so hard rn i will lose this battle

[volatilechemicalz]

I will not ramble about my aus I will not ramble about my aus I will not ramble about my aus I will not ramble about my aus I will n

#noodle talks #not art #im trying so hard rn i will lose this battle #i just have so many thoughts rn but im trying to hold them off bc im p sure that nobody wants to hear them dnsk ANYWAY -

[love-toxin]

yes pls tell me all ur thoughts on blade, luocha, gepard, jingyuan and kafka 😳 the eng va and trailers for jingyuan and kafka in particular got me acting up—just smthing about jingyuan’s lil smirk and laid bk countenance and how i know he can fuck the daylights out of anyone effortlessly—and kafka? yes ma’am anything for u pls slam ur foot against the wall behind me 🙏🏻

god bless im literally in love w/ all of them anon. would give my left nut for blade, luocha or jing yuan, gepard and kafka carry my team so hard. also bc i want them to step on my face.

also i wanna be toxic rn so under the cut ⬇️⬇️

blade -> prrrrrrrrr. big daddy. idk why but he gives me discord kitten daddy dom vibes. he manspreads. he gets pussy. he probably doesn't shower as often as he should. he's unapologetically a rude bitch. he absolutely girlbosses you into being his baby, he pulls out the "i feel nothing but you give me a taste of life" and keeps you so close you're basically part of him. handsy and off-putting in public for passersby but you can't get his hands off you, it's a losing battle babe. nd he's nasty freaky slimy and rubs his cock against you as a sign he wants to go home or just find someplace quiet. he doesn't like fucking you out in the open but he'll do it if the need arises--like if you "forget" that your body & soul belongs to him and need a harsh reminder. you're just his delicate little kitty after all, so if anyone's gonna break you it should be someone you love unconditionally. right?

kafka -> gatekeep. gaslight. girldaddy. beats you up and makes you say thank you. you're her pet so get used to it, but she'll feed you once in a while so you should be glad, puppy. she's the mean tall girlfriend who babies you and then spits in your mouth for a treat. her & blade treat you like a pet and if she's feeling extra mean she strips you down and makes you kneel between them with nothing to cover yourself. if you're good and give them a lil show they'll let you go early, they promise (lie). humping kafka's pillow to get your scent all over it becomes a nightly ritual to help her sleep, no it is non-negotiable, it is in your spouses' contract that she signed with your hand while you slept. it also states that your face may be used in any and all leisure activities at her discretion--mainly for her to push your head between her legs and lazily give you an order as she sifts through documents. you might be her pet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. at least as far as you can tell.

luocha -> ngl idk that much about him yet but he's immediately unhinged bf-shaped. stupid and drunk on thoughts of you & gives you his credit card details on the first date. he's gross and wants to bite your thighs. begging to be drowned in pussy/choked with cock. you're so pretty and he's so dirty by comparison. he can't blame you for not wanting his gross dick anywhere near you, guess all he can do is eat you out <33 oh noooooo! what a tragedy! sike. he loves that shit. he's got meds to make you squirt too. ik he's not that kinda healer but don't tell me unhinged luocha wouldn't have a ball drugging you both up and taking you for a ride. he wouldn't even know his name once the high dies down, just the feeling of your lips leaving stray kisses all down his face as you try to stay awake.

jing yuan -> daddy 2.0. a dilf with no kids. 1000% goes into husband mode the second you're within reach. chill & soft & uwu until everyone's outta the office, then he becomes a menace to society and your underwear. he cums in them before you leave for the day so you don't forget him <3 you can have a cheeky one in your mouth on his lunch break if you're good. ♀️ he beats your pussy up cock-first for hurting his bbg with your period. he still doesn't get enough of you in the day so he creeps on you at night, rubs one out on your thighs while you sleep and flips over to go right back to snoring afterwards. you can never have too much cum on you--that's his wisdom and as your superior general you should probably believe it, no? don't worry, he can fuck with your job and your life and your friends and your money and your heart until you find it within yourself to agree.

gepard -> dummy boy goody-two-shoes. he likes fuckin in the uniform and being called "captain" i am not taking criticism at this time. dumb little captured stellaron hunter & horny silvermane captain roleplay. moans in your ear during sex. he moans like a girl and he hates it but it's hot and he cums 10x faster if you tell him just how hot it is. he's so big & tall he just makes you feel like a little bunch of grapes when he picks you up, nd he's self-conscious about how weird it is that he likes seeing your face scrunch up in pain when he eases you on his cock but it's just too big. the gravity makes it all feel too much when he sits you on his lap like that but you just wiggle around on it rather than get off, and he's a fiend for it. also consider clean, prim, missionary-lover gepard falling in love with rimming you & feeling like a dirty mutt for enjoying it so much & begging you for it when he's in need. asking him to take a shower with you turns into code for "let's do anal against the tile please" real quick.

#hsr blade #jing yuan #hsr kafka #gepard landau #luocha #blade x reader #jing yuan x reader #gepard landau x reader #kafka x reader #luocha x reader #spicy writing #honkai star rail #ellie thirsts #anons

[zoeykallus]

im feeling really fukibg sad rn so tbb’s reaction to your passing on the battle field? no need to do it but i just love ur writing 🤧🤧

So sorry you feel down! Are you sure reading something sad is the right thing to do about it? Well if it's your wish I'll give it a try.

The Bad Batch x Reader - Mourn You

In battle you were mortally wounded and drew your last breath...

Warnings should be obvious: Death (a lot) / Sorrow / Hurt / Angst /Depression / Mental Breakdown Nothing sweet and fluffy here. If you want your heart to break, keep reading.

Hunter

He saw the fatal shot hit you, right in the chest, as you went down. His heart beats incredibly fast and hard. The last opponent is finally on the ground and Hunter can rush to your side. The closer he gets, the clearer it becomes to him that you are not moving. He knows even before he feels for your pulse that he won't find one.

His heart clenches in his chest. He swollows hard, trying to not lose it right here and now. There are still enemies nearby somewhere. He calls for help. It hasn't really sunken in yet, he only knows he wont leave your body here, he can't. As soon as he is back with the others, when they come to get the two of you and he sees the looks on their faces, that's the moment he finally realizes, that's the moment when it sinks in and it feels like lead filling his bones, tearing him down. He can barely stand upright, but somehow he does. His thoughts go heywire, he wants revenge. Hunter will be bitter for a long time, hard to be around for anyone and more determined than ever before, to take down Separatists. The only reason he at least tries to stay sane and reasonable is Omega.

Echo

He's already lost so much in this war and as he sees you fall, his heart skips a beat, he feels like falling as he hurries to your side. Feeling your pulse and not finding it he starts to panic and hyperventilate. He can't lose you! Echo is shaking as he calls for help, shaking and crying, feeling disengaged with reality.

When the others arrive he is still holding you in his arms, crying over your dead body, cradles you like a baby. His brothers have a hard time taking you out of his arms, he curses, and screams at them, trying to fight them off. He is very emotional, losing you is the last drop, after all he's been through, this one more thing he can't take.

Echo starts to distant himself from everyone, most likely not to recover from this loss.

Wrecker

Wrecker has a hard time realizing you are gone. He brings back your lifeless body and the others are trying to comfort him, but he is no where near understanding that you really are gone. Denial is his companion for a long time. Waking up in the morning and expecting you to be next to him in bed is a regular thing, one that breaks his heart, again and again every morning. Some nights he doesn't sleep at all, afraid to wake up just to be heartbroken again.

It takes a long time for him to get better. But he tries to go on, because he thinks that's what you wanted for him. He is slowly coming back to who he was before, but he still never is the same happy giant anymore, but he tries, for you. He'll always hold you in loving memory.

Tech

Your tragic end seals his as well. The moment he sees you fall his brain goes into overdrive, thinking of everything he knows that could save your life. He thinks after all, what is his exeptional mind worth if he can't save you? He is willing to try everything.

Tech hurries to your side, he's trying every trick he knows about, cardiac massgae, mouth-to-mouth ventilation, adrenaline shots... he's desperate and fully focused on you, trying so hard to bring you back, slowly but surely losing hope, starting to panic. What else could he do?

He is not aware of a few left over enemies approaching him. When his brothers arrive, they sadly have to pick up two dead bodies, not just one.

Crosshair

He sees you fall, shoots down rows of enemies with his rifle, fast and precise as always. When he reaches you and realizes that he has lost you, he feels rage, he is incredibly angry. He refuses to be sad, anger is so much easier to deal with. He tries to suppress the feeling of loss, he can't allow it, he knows it will eat him up.

You were such an important part of his life, he can't stop thinking about you lying on the ground, lifeless. He clings to his anger like it's a lifeboat in a storm.

But anger also makes him headless. In one of the future missions, he will have gotten in over his head, will no longer be able to control his anger, will only want revenge and make mistakes that will ultimately cost him his life.

------------

Author's Comment:

I just feel like I went through a meat grinder.... geez

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

#this one hurt me too #hurt #angst #death #star wars #the bad batch #headcanon #tbb #sw tbb #tbb tech #star wars headcanons #tbb headcanons #hunter #hunter tbb #wrecker tbb #tbb wrecker #bad batch #crosshair #star wars the bad batch #wrecker bad batch #echo #tbb echo #echo tbb #echo x reader #the bad batch echo #crosshair x you #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #crosshair tbb #asks

[psychewritesbs]

Been reading your opinions on the boy of all time megumi and can I just say firstly, thank you for being so good w words BC man you get his character so well and you're so good at getting into all the little details abt him that I can never properly describe to ppl, Like, the whole breaks the trope while following the trope thing?? YOU GOT THAT ALL SO CORRECT THATS EXACTLY IT IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I LOVE HIS CHARACTER SM BC EVEN JUST RIGHT OFF THE BAT HE BREAKS THE USUAL STOIC BROODING CHARACTER TROPE(THE trope) BY ACTUALLY CONSTANTLY SHOWING although subtly THAT HE DOESNT HATE EVERYONE?? im getting way off track already i actually popped in here to just ask abt how you think the whole sukuna possessing megumi thing will all turn out?? I honestly feel like slapping myself for not seeing it coming tbh like they talked about the head of the six eyes and ten shadows battling it out to the death before and sukuna kept on hyping up megumi like they were so obviously setting that up there and I just. Denied. But I'm just asking BC personally I think that it would really show the final steps of growth for megumi's character if he is actually able to surprise sukuna, even for a little, and come back from the depths of where ever tf he is rn bc yk his whole issue w/ self worth and what he believes he's capable of and I just wanted to know what you think the best outcome for his character would be? Sorry this is such a mess I just have so many thoughts zooming around my brain and I'm trying to...make them make sense...

ITS THE MEGUMI LOVE!!!! Yessssss. Thank you for sending me Megumi love! I love getting Megumi love 🫶🏼.

Man, Megumi is just such a good character. Truly one of Gege's best. Everything he's done with him from how his character is based on the trope while also subverting the trope, to his backstory and his growth arc and how it's been executed... It's poetic justice.

I love Megumi so much, and any time I see someone hate on Megumi for really shallow or toxic reasons I just lose all faith in humanity. It's one thing to not care for him as a character and quite another to dislike him for being a "disappointing deuteragonist" because he's "weak", "hasn't had character development", and "did not master 10 Shadows"..................................................

Bruh...

ANYWAYS 😂 you see... this is the thing... I am trying really hard not to speculate about what might happen regarding Sukuna WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I'M GOING TO SPECULATE BECAUSE I LOVE SUKUNA BUT FUCK SUKUNA!

ehem. More of me not being normal about Megumi under the cut.

Ok in all seriousness... with chapter 230 and how Sukuna forced Megumi to take the brunt hit of Unlimited Void, something shifted in me.

For some time I've been reluctant to make any predictions about Megumi coming out alive because I don't want to have preconceived expectations coloring my weekly reading experience, but mostly because, like Megumi, I have a tendency to bunt instead of swinging for the fence so as to not experience disappointment. Read this to mean I don't want to get my hopes up about Megumi surviving.

That is not to mention that I took Sukuna possessing Megumi's body personal. idk, something about seeing Megumi lose his agency felt both so wrong and yet so right on a metaphorical level. Wrong because DAMN YOU SUKUNA GO BACK TO YOUR BODY! and right because... as you said, Megumi had it coming both from a narrative and psychological perspective.

From then on, we just saw him sink deeper and deeper into learned helplessness and despair, culminating on this beautiful image of him in the fetal position.

Truly a reversal of ego back into the metaphorical mother (the unconscious) as though he was in the birth canal waiting for rebirth. And come to think of it, in the Japanese fandom, one of the more popular theories revolved around "birth" or something like that.

So with ch. 230, my hope for Megumi is renewed somehow. A lot of people think he's done for, especially after UV. But I'm on camp #this is going to backfire badly on both Gojo and Sukuna... or at least I hope it does.

So....

I'm just asking BC personally I think that it would really show the final steps of growth for megumi's character if he is actually able to surprise sukuna, even for a little

EXACTLY! And see, this is the thing, I don't want to see Megumi be saved by anyone other than himself. If Megumi is saved by others, then he didn't learn his lesson.

Basically, Megumi has taken Tsumiki's place as the Sleeping Beauty that is in need of rescuing. He's become a passive agent in his own life, which is exactly what gave Sukuna an opening.

If Gojo or Yuji, or anyone for that matter, comes in and saves Megumi without Megumi putting up a fight, then this whole growth process is metaphorically and literally aborted.

Like you, I personally think that this period could be a metaphorical gestational period for Megumi and I wonder if he's going to reach a tipping point where the anger he feels is stronger than the learned helplessness or something like that.

I just wanted to know what you think the best outcome for his character would be?

ALL THAT TO SAY THAT YES. Sukuna might be my other fave, but I am looking forward to either Megumi giving him a hard time or straight up beating the crap out of him.

Megumi has earned that privilege.

Right now, I am wondering how UV has affected Megumi's brain and what that will mean for his behavior. My hc is that his negative self-image is partly due to "reason". In other words, reason = his sense of self as the story he tells himself about himself.

But Megumi levels up because of imagination. Now that he's been hit by UV (I understand it's been 5 times?), how has being flooded with infinity affected the left (reason or logic, analytical) hemisphere of his brain?

Another idea I've been keeping quiet about is that part of the rebirth process involves moving through hell and up into heaven (a la Dante's Divine Comedy as a metaphor for a process of initiation or enlightenment). Megumi right now is sinking in hell as he comes face to face with inner evil.

So can we expect him to come back up? Will Beatrice make a cameo? I'm looking forward to whatever the cursed cat is cooking.

I just have so many thoughts zooming around my brain and I'm trying to...make them make sense...

ahaha, same tho.

Hey thanks again for the Megumi love, the kind comments, and for stopping by! Here's to hoping Gege does bring our boy back 🙌.

#god i love jujutsu kaisen #ask the mental gymnastics anime girl

[spextronaut]

My thoughts on this week’s episode of the Mandalorian:

Rip Nevarro ig and they were doing so well smh

If this is another filler ass episode I will be so upset what happened to this being a show about Mando

I wish this wasn’t a Disney show bc these bitches need to be able to curse each other out so bad

Oh thank good Mando is here

BABY GIRL <33333

I do truly miss this being the Mando + Grogu show but I don’t entirely hate what’s happening (I don’t like it tho)

YEAHHHH GROGU <33333

lmao they just have. a fucking talking hammer it’s very funny

You should lay your lives down bc Grogu is cute as shit

Oh okay. That. That’s not what i expected but that’s a slay good job Paz

when people call Din by his proper name <33333

Okay this episode has gotten better since the start that’s fun

Din is being such a goddamn babygirl today I adore him

Mandalorians are really just born to slay huh

Paz is being a badass again I do love him sometimes

This feels like they’re fighting a losing battle and I’m not crazy about thatttt

Well they are at least on the ground

The Armorer my fucking beloved I love when she gets to beat the shit out of people

And the Mandos are winning again they’re slaying so fucking hard <3333

SLAYYYYY I LOVE THEM <333

Once again we’re proving that Din and Bo-Katan work best when they’re together and that’s some sibling shit right there

GROGU!!

omfg they’ve got a fuckin home now <3

Oh god the Armorer wishes to speak with her

Where in the flip flap fuck are they

Oh it’s the sewers it’s been a hell of a minute

Remove her fuckin,,, excuse me what now

The Armorer is making her break the Creed???? Her of all people???

Im so confused what is happening rn

Ohhh bitch Din was the one who was supposed to get this arc fuck you >:(

Din has the Darksaber he should be the one uniting them you fucking whore >:(

She can do it without the Darksaber??? What’s Din meant to do?? Is he gonna lead the Covert while Bo-Katan unites the Mandalorians???

What in the fuck is that it’s very very threatening

Ah hell Moff Gideon is back smh I’m sick of his shit

Mandos rescued Moff Gideon??? What???

Overall this was just… not that good of an episode? Like it was fun and I enjoyed the battles but it really made me realize how far we’ve strayed from s1 and how the writers seem to just not give a shit about Din and Grogu and their arcs anymore

I’d rate it a 3/5 bc there were good scenes but overall it just isn’t that good anymore? Save for designs and acting the show’s gone seriously downhill and I’m hoping that if it gets renewed for a s4 (if it hasn’t already) it starts going uphill again considering all the other shows coming out that can set up future Star Wars projects

Just a side note, but I hate to say that TBoBF did a better job with Din and Grogu than Mando s3 is, and that is really really sad imo. But that just… did better with interactions and characterization, especially with seeing the two of them separated? I think it would’ve been better for Grogu to be seen in TBoBF, have Din give Ahsoka the chain mail, but then we just don’t see Luke give Grogu the option to leave or not? So that way we get to see Grogu hijinks while he’s on his own with R2-D2 and/or Din trying to rebuild himself without his son around or trying to get Grogu back throughout s3

#spencer rambles #the mandalorian season 3 #the mandalorian season three spoilers #the mandalorion spoilers #the mandalorian #din djarin #grogu #the mandalorian season 3 episode 5 #the mandalorian chapter 21 #god I am so disappointed in how this show is going #but all the acting is pretty good so at least they have that going

[xboxseries]

Please let bungie die please please. Ppl are really saying “dw at least Michael already finished the music for the DLC!” like y’all don’t care he probably won’t get royalties for it or anything they only care their DLC is getting delayed LMFAO and Bungie is promising TFS to be “better” than forsaken. The problem was never activision.

i agree with you but its REALLY funny you sent me this unprompted like im the designated bungie hate confessional blog. you really went "man i hate bungie rn. i bet scout would love to hear about it she hates bungie" and you were right

but fr its a bit pathetic people care more about the soundtrack of their failing game sounding good than the real man whos been making music for them for over a decade, whos been in a legal battle for the rights to his own creations for half that.

at the end of the day, bungie is a company that makes shit corporate decisions out of greed and it has been for the past 20 years. people fell so hard for their social media branding trying to humanize the company and paint them as the all inclusive "good guys company" that they actually forgot that all they are is Just That. a fucking company. and its to the point where theres people who actually believed that corporate statement saying that the layoffs were due to "lack of player engagement" and blaming the consumers of this company's product for "bullying bungie too hard" and putting fault of these people losing their jobs on Consumers criticizing the product they bought and consumed and the company that made it for their poor practices. because apparently criticizing a company is terrible when its Inclusive on Social Media and makes Game You Like is bad!

#i am not an articulate person i hope these makes sense lel..... #the company has been going downhill for a while now and that sucks for the people who work there. but its a company and it should die #so called anticapitalists when their beloved game company fails: guys its our fault. we can still save the game #and like. disclaimer i used to be someone who bought into bungies branding. but i was a teenager who didnt understand. #theres people out here in their 30s being like We can still save bungie. its ok guys. theyre the good ones #like man if any of these people know wat went down at bungie behind the scenes theyd fucking keel over

[demadogs]

Hi! What's your favorite season of stranger things, and what's your favorite episode overall (from any season)?

my favorite episode by FAR is dear billy. im rewatching the fourth season with my friend rn and we just watched that one today. running up that hill is my favorite st scene ever. max is my favorite character and i really love that shes the center of undeniably the best scene of the entire show. i sobbed my eyes out when i first watched it. their song choice is fucking perfect for what max is going through. “i’d make a deal with god and i’d get him to swap our places” and then max later admitting that she wished she died after billy did?? AAAH!!! and just what they did to that song to make it more epic and orchestral oh my god its so fucking perfect. now im listening to that version because its so good.

the way that entire scene plays out is perfect. the ticking sounds when they go back to the real world where the guys are trying to find the tape, a portal to the real world opening when the song plays, her lifting in the air right at the chorus!!! THE FLASHBACKS!!!!!!!!! her running to a portal as everything is falling on her god ITS SO SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! that scene alone would be enough for me to call it my favorite episode ever but its not even just that.

theres also the one take shootout in cali which is SO well done and so impressive i love that they did it all in one take its so fun to watch. i love mike and wills talk about mike losing him and wanting to be a team. i love hoppers escape. everything about that episode is so perfect. but obviously running up that hill is the biggest reason its my favorite.

as for my favorite season its really hard for me to decide between 2 and 4. i always said 2 was my favorite before 4 came out. but not for byler reasons, i just thought that was a really good continuation of season one. its hard for a debut season to be that amazing and successful and somehow top it with the second season. i loved the whole lab plot and the demodogs and i love that will is the center of the entire season.

but season 4 hawkins plot is really fucking good. if we’re talking about whats going down in hawkins alone i’d probably say 4 is my favorite but the other plots kinda takes up more time than i wish. like s2 its still kinda divided but its all hawkins. i kinda wish the russian plot was shortened or at least joyce reunited with hopper earlier.

i think im gonna say 4 is my favorite season tho. i love how much more horror the whole season is, i LOVE how they had so many call backs to the first two seasons like showing how will talked through the lights and bringing back past monsters like the og demogorgan and demodogs in russia. i like that el was more independent. i obviously love all byler’s moments, but also lumax!!! i feel like s3 they barely showed them but i love how they wrote them this season. its just a really good season.

also unpopular take but i hate when people say they hate the last episode when they obviously only say that bc of the monologue. like ok DID YOU NOT SEE THE EPIC SYNTH VERSION OF RUNNING UP THAT HILL TO THE MONTAGE OF EVERYONE BATTLING VECNA MILES APART FROM EACH OTHER??????!!!

#this couldve so easily been a one sentence answer lmao #NOT WITH ME #byler #ish #eden answers

[uniquezombiedestiny]

TELL ME MORE ABT VERA AND THE DISTORTION STUFF PLS

:) :) :) :) <- vera sleeper agents activated

so her distortion was originally not one, but i sort of shaped it into one over time, since she distorts others and is the voice of distortion in the rp. its about being the magical girl who saves the world, specifically saving her friends from the timeloop/suffering in general.

so vera joined the facility because her family/friends/etc was like "damn you suck! bye" and she was like "W. HUH?????" and wanted to spite them for leaving her. once she learned of the timeloops on d10, shes like "im gonna fix this!". but as time goes on and everything gets worse, she gets more stressed about trying to fix it before everyone just loses it and they cant be saved. so from the stress, vera falls really hard into a magical girl persona, trying to be likeable and everyones friend (both so they dont lose it and so she isnt abandoned).

ironically vera ended up losing it the most and kinda loses herself to the magical girl thing, and ends up coming to the conclusion that she will save the world and all her friends with her magical girl powers. you can only be so sane after seeing your friends die over and over (and then watching utter chaos ensue on d46-49 as everyone dies and doesnt come back, as everything falls apart and you cant do anything, the world is laughing in your face, everyone is.)

so on d50 she distorts! she brings back her dead friends, steals the seed of light for her own power, and at the same time owen realizes about the timeloops and gets hit in the face with so so many memories he never knew he had. vera decides to leave him behind, which is because when she asked if he wanted to join her, he didn't respond, so she was like "ok bye have fun!" (he was not having fun)

ok finally the distortion itself. it has no name rn over than "the light" but im totally giving it a good name one day. veras the leader of it all, with tons of blind followers who totally agree with her. theyre all distorted, but their distortions have been hidden under light-y versions of themselves. everyone whos a part of the light basically has time stopped for them - they dont age or change at all. they also cant see things negatively/feel negativity, being only happy or (at worst) neutral. their suffering has totally stopped.

ofc this has consequences. everyones basically stuck in denial/ignorance of any suffering. everything vera does ends up being for her own goals, so all her followers arent really people anymore. she goes around entirely unknowing of all the suffering shes caused, and over time uses her own followers to save herself

in l corp, vera gets stressed about all of her deaths catching up to her, which manifests in the distortion - veras under her lighty shell, but shes also rotting, so she reverses it with the life of her followers. in the final battle against her she literally kills tons of people to bring herself to good health

soo distorted!veras personality is way too happy. shes basically manic half the time, doing random impulsive things and distorting people for no reason and ditching them when they get aggressive/sad/etc. she calls everyone her friends and family. when anything negative is presented to her, especially relating to her past, shell either twist it into positiveness or go totally silent with a blank stare. and then snap right back to her happy self :)

shes meant to be so fast its confusing/disorienting, which often works on people shes trying to pull into her cult thing. they get so confused they just cant do anything, give up, or just distort on their own.

heres some recent art of her :D

also some songs that fit her:

malks core suppression just. fits her. it gives me the vibe of something being Off and Wrong and yeah thats how it is with her in the final battle (also would just fit like any vera tbh) also it has breakcore and is very fast. which also fits!

apalling past memories seen through rose-tinted glasses says basically everything in the name lol

awake is the same kind of thing as past memories, simple piano stuff. that kind of song tends to fit her. this one also gets fucked up at the end but in a different way that i really like. like this is her as a whole. also its pretty earstrainy so be warned

the toy box! a really good song that happens to be about denial and growing up (also some stuff about identity issues). fits both vera and her distortion a lot

alkali underachiever, which i think is about standing up in the face of hardship and going on despite bad things. i dont remember the lyrics too well but i think it has "please dont hate me" in them and damn if a happy song with that in it isnt her

im. normal about my ocs. as you can see (i could literally say more but this is so long)

#vera #lc ocs #asks #ty for the ask!!!!!! #i think my autism has grabbed ahold of my ocs #<- aka: is this a hyperfixation #or special interest? idk the difference tbh #like i said. i could literally say EVEN MORE THAN THIS #tbh it probably is at this point theyre in my head 80%+ of them time #the*

[worlds-4th-best-dad]

He has a rash nature and his current move set is, Swords Dance, Drain Punch, Close Combat, and Psycho Cut. im kinda debating adding sacred sword. Sometimes I replace one of the moves with false swipe if im not gonna get into any important battles in case I want to catch a pokemon. He has the steadfast ability

I actually haven't checked. His ivs and evs and I don't really know how to read the chart but he has the highest ever in attack. Apparently I need to go to nurse joy to check the ivs which I can't because I can't really leave the area im in rn so I'll check when I get out.

And I basically bring out any of my pokwmon when I need them? For like type advantages and stuff . I mostly just try to hit as hard and fast as possible I guess? So basically I use him when he's the best Pokemon for whatever the fight demands or if I wanna use false swipe for catching purposes

Oh, neat!

His nature is rather bad. Gallades have great Special Defense, but awful Special Attack. They are more geared towards Attack. Since he has Swords Dance to boost attack, a speed boosting Jolly nature is more preferred.

As for abilities, Steadfast is objectively the worst. It only boosts Speed by one stage whenever the Pokemon flinches. It doesn't even protect the Pokemon from flinching, essentially making you lose a turn of action for one Speed boost. Out of the other two, Sharpness is the other regular ability and is easier to acquire than Justified, the hidden ability. Justified may be useful with Beat Up strategies in Double Battles, but in overall battles, Sharpness boosts a lot of moves that Gallades benefit from such as Psycho Cut, Leaf Blade, Night Slash, and Sacred Sword.

Speaking of Sacred Sword, although weaker than Close Combat, it bypasses all Defense boosts and, as said before, boosted by Sharpness. Since Sharpness boosts the damage of slicing moves by 50%, it makes Sacred Sword deal more damage than Close Combat without the drawback of decreasing Defense and Special Defense like CC. Drain Punch isn't bad. Recovery is always neat to have. Although, if you want some coverage, you can change Drain Punch for Night Slash for Ghost Types or Rock Slide for Flying types.

I'll skip the IVs and Evs. His role is not bad. If you are using him in the story, it's a good role since Gallades have high Attack and Speed. If you can manage to squeeze in a Swords Dance or two, then he can act as a Physical Wallbreaker, especially if he has a Shaprness boosted Sacred Sword.

Overall, he may need some work, but he's not bad.

#sorry if this is long lol #i just like discussing competitive building #asks #mutuals #pokemon #gallade

[elsfairy]

I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I'm here for you, no matter what you're going through. It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot of tough stuff lately, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid. It's okay to struggle with handling emotions and not knowing how to navigate them. You're not alone in this. As for those fake friends, remember that true friends stick around during the tough times. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and uplift you. Quality over quantity, always. And don't forget, I'm here for you too. Lean on me whenever you need someone to talk to or vent. Depression can feel like an endless battle, but please don't lose hope. You are stronger than you realize, and you will get through this. It's okay to take it one day at a time and to reach out for support. Remember, you are loved and valued. Your presence in this world matters, and I believe in your ability to overcome these challenges. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and never forget that you have people who care about you. Thinking of you always baby 🤍

sonnie :(

pls I have literally cried for the past 4 days straight, and this is making me cry all over again. Things are hard for me to process, and dealing with emotions has always been a hard thing for me even at the age of 23, but I'm getting there. this is something i think is gonna take me longer to get through and over but i know ill get there one day.

i have a habit of letting people walk all over me, that's another thing im trying to fix... im trying to fix a lot apparently with so little time </3 pls it's 8am and you have me sobbing into my pillow :( i don't like bothering people with my problems, even if they want me to talk to them.. i just feel like i will bother them, everything just takes me a while.

i love you sm <3 im still half asleep but i appreciate you :( im crawling into your bed rn for a hug okay? <3

#♡𝅼 ͡ ׅ ۟ sonnie baby

[rot-room]

6-23-23

I feel like i am in a bad dream for the last 72 hrs. Im gonna share to document these trying times. Woke up so sick 2-3 nights ago (time does not exist rn). I thought it was usual anxiety/ssri symptoms but turned out to be much worse (food poisoning?) Was up all night on phone with mom. Next day i had shakes/chills/fever and body ache all over. Was too afraid to take my ssri for 2 days.

All of this is happening, and i was also following the news about the submarine, for some reason. Felt like a descent into insanity, me rotting in this room soaked in sweat and heart racing. Honestly, i have felt like that one scene in trainspotting:

Anxiety is unbearable because you start to fear the fear itself. The worst part of my illness aside from the crushing nausea and stomach distress was the fear that came with it. I have severe emetophobia. The worst part of my anxiety is that it never stops. I am constantly afraid. I am afraid of being afraid, i am afraid of losing control. It is a never-ending cycle. The last two nights i fell asleep with my mom on the line. Just to be safe. She yelled at me two days ago and i cried like a child. A sick child. Sobbing and shaking in pain and making it worse for myself and none of the 'grown ups' in my life being gentle with me while i feel like i wounded bird. i called the nurse hotline and she put me thru to a doctor. The nurse seemed like she thought i was dying. I did too, as i originally thought i had serotonin syndrome. The doctor was very nice, she told me i am Not dying, and i can keep taking my meds. I am grateful for the doctor on the phone for being gentle with me, as i was crying while we talked.

I have been playing a moth game to keep me distracted and i love it, nd i have become even more fascinated with caterpillars and moths

woke up last night at 3am having a panic attack. The worst part is, once i start having a panic attack i start to panic about how i am panicking.

My heart was beating so hard and i could anticipate the nausea and tingly face that would come with it but i knew if i kept this cycle up i will die. I can't even say for sure how much of my sickness was sickness and how much was a fear response. It all started to blend together into one big nightmare.

i thought for once, hey i will actually do something productive instead of crumbling apart like a million shards of broken short circuited machinery thats frantically thrashing and quivering and oozing toxic waste.

so i took some deep breaths. the 4-7-8 deep breaths. and miraculously within a few minutes my heart was slowing down. that really is the biggest culprit for me; the racing heart. It is the poisoned root that opens the pandoras box of symptoms. The nausea the shaking the salivating the tingling the hyperventilating. If i can slow the racing heart i can cut off those symptoms before they spiral out of control. And i stopped it. It was hard because i took gravol before and i was in a half-coma state. Trying to calm a panic attack while drowsy is very very scary. But i did it. And i had two other panic attacks today. And i stopped them myself. Now that i was so sick i feel like i stood in the gates of hell and the most comforting thing to tell myself when i am panicking is, "whats the worst that can happen?" Because the worst part of all of it, was the fear. The anxiety spiralling out of control. The sickness was horrible on its own but the fear only exacerbated it. I need to get a hold on it.

this battle with anxiety and panic disorder controls my life. sometimes more than other times. I dont keep many secrets and i am an open book, but nobody in my life except maybe my mother will ever know the extent to which my GAD and panic disorder and emetophobia(and presumably OCD) controls me. I am dying. I am dying at work i am dying when i am with my friends, when i am laughing i am dying when i am sleeping i am dying. Because of my fear and panic. I cannot do it anymore. I need to win. I can do it. I cannot spiral anymore. I am not alive i am surviving. I am more afraid and alert than a caveman hiding from predators millions of years ago. I feel everything constantly. All the pain all the fear i feel it all.

I have seen this photo more in the last three days than i have seen another human, eaten food, got out of bed,

When i look at this, i see a lovecraftian monster. I dont wanna talk about current events but sometimes things happen and i fixate on them when i am already in a dark place and this is one of them. Maybe its because i am so afraid right now, and i cant think of anything more terrifying than being in a tiny tube in the bottom of the ocean that implodes in on itself. The last three days i have been sick and i have not left my bed and i have not eaten and i have been scared to take my meds and i have gone back and forth from my bed and a cold shower. I have panicked so much. Such catastrophe, such fear. It lives inside of me. I dont know if i have anything poetic to say about the sub. I have just been morbidly obsessing over the situation and it felt like something i needed to mention in my memoir of the last fucked up three days. when i think of this transitional, dark time i will think of the sub, and vice versa. Rest in peace Suleman.

I watched Bound (1996) last night on the couch in the dark, it was on cable. I loved this movie so much. It felt like a light in the darkness. I hope one day i can have a girlfriend. I hope girls are real. That sure would be cool.

I hope i can get better. I really, really want to. If i do not stop being afraid i will die. I will die anyway but, the fear will kill me much too soon and very painfully. I cannot live like this forever. And i won't, because I am brave and i have lived to tell everything up until now. I will be okay. I will be okay. I will be okay. I love you, i forgive you, thank you.

[desudog-gone]

just dumping this here bc i wanna put it out there

my hc for body type nad changes through awakening of chrom + robin (necessary reminder that my robin is not a human, and is a sort of artificially created shapeshifter who was raised around humans. his body size changes depending on his diet because what he eats stays in him when his shape changes. (his mass cannot change- he can seperate into groupings of smaller objects but cannot be larger than what exists of him.) and the amount of abstract mass (just a pitch dark color slimelike base form) depends on his diet. so the more he eats would displace inner mass, making him appear perhaps taller if he decided to use the extra displaced amount for that. further, food that doesnt give him energy is just converted to physical mass. so more food = bigger in any regard, less food = smaller in any regard. so this is something that fluxuates often- but like a snake, he doesnt need to eat much because he doesnt digest fast enough to do so. so hes less impacted by food scarcity) (can you tell i like writing fictional/monster biology lol) think of robin like hes made of wax, which can be poured into different molds. a lot of wax could fill just 1 large shape, or multiple smaller ones, but if theres not enough, it wont fill it entirely. (a man sized robin couldnt turn into a horse- they dont share the same amount of body.) however, adding something to displace wax to fill up the mold further could, like adding a rock into it, the level would rise. so when he's eaten something, its similar, theres a static non-body displacement inside him, which could be small like an apple, or larger like a few days of dinner.

-----

pt 1.

chrom older teen chrom is basically as lean as he is in canon at this point. despite being royalty, hes roaming about with the other shepards rn, and because they hunt for their food, its not a very secure source and probably mostly lean meat like rabbits, and probably happily gives portions of his meal to his little sister if it wasnt that good of a night for hunting. hes also basically constantly moving and burning energy, he has the metabolism of a 17 year old so all in all hes pretty lightweight. his sword skill is -okay- (hence why future-past lucina matches him in strength and skill, plus canonically he does get better as he levels up, gameplay wise.) he doesnt need to shave often and his body hair isnt coming in too thick yet. generally hes kinda scrappy looking and probably pushes himself a little too far and spreads himself too thin.

robin i hc robin as about just 1 1/2 years or so older than chrom. he's short and thin (not in a healthy way) because his species size is dependent on diet frequency, he avoids eating often too after joining up with the shepards because hes self conscious and wary about breaking his human disguise while hes still trying to hide it here. hes shorter than chrom and has a somewhat inconsistent facial look because he hasnt really learned to return to the exact same form every time*. can eat human foods but sneaks out to eat bodies after perticularly draining battles, as human foods are not as physically or magically energy producing due to his nature as an artificial creature of dark magic. *this inconsistency is also generally true to his body hair, although its hard to notice anyways because he has light skin and light hair. however, he never has facial hair.

---- pt 2; ~5 year timeskip

chrom at first, chrom gains weight and a scruffier look as a result of a settling depression as he mourns his elder sister and grapples with a title he's anxious about receiving. eventually he starts getting back into the swing of taking better care of himself and being more confident in his abilities as a leader, using his sisters death to strengthen his resolve and his closeness to the ever supportive robin to fill in the rough patches. as he gets active he doesnt lose much weight (which i want to note- im describing neutrally. his weight gain isnt morally connected to anything, just like in real life. it just happens) as hes older now, and his metabolism is evening out, and now that hes at home much more, his meals are more stable and with more rounded nutrition and variety. his body hair is thicker and has to be more regularly maintained and by now hes just back to shaving his face regularly (to robins protest, who likes a stubbly face). as lucina is born(formed?) chrom decides he will do what he can to not lose his heart and stability again. during valm, he builds back up a lot of the muscle he hadnt been pushing while he was busy settling into his new position and family. chrom is more easily stressed this time around and isnt so ignorant as he was before and takes the war more seriously after having faced personal loss. the exercise has settled him into the dadbod hes earned.

robin robin has learned much better how to return to the same form each time he leaves it, but doesnt worry as much anymore as chrom is aware of his inhumanity, but still tries to keep it under wraps for the publics sake, considering theyre still uncertain about him as a plegian at all. he's settled on a more mature face than before and often looks just as tired and worn as he actually is, spending many days and nights handling legal matters for his fiance, and then being hard at work with lucina, who is artifically created the same way robin is. due to a consistent diet and lack of losing pieces of himself in battle, robin is now just as tall as chrom, sometimes a bit taller, and has a little bit of a "i work at a table for most of my time" tummy and posture. not much of him changes physically during valm, although hes often seen looking less preened and a smidge more frazzled- but work at home has just been replaced with tactical work, so his already dark eyebags and clenched jaw doesnt really intensify that much worse. battling with his growing migraines while grima attempts to contact him more and more, he relies on chrom to help him find peace and footing, who is more than happy to be his husbands rock. he bites his nails about lucina back home and the war at his feet often. after the reveal of the future past lucina, his stress continues to worsen as his daughter is now also on the battlefield, but he works harder to look more presentable, doing what he can to help be a good role model to lucina as well as work oh her distrsut to him, which as this point is mostly puzzling. robin also falls back to being shorter (although not as short as before) than chrom, although this fluctuates.

--- pt 3 / grima

chrom chrom hasnt changed much from before, not given much time to settle, hes thrown right back into the frying pan with the return ot plegia as a threat. he works hard despite having unrecovered wounds at this point. generally, this chapter is very much revolved around robin. after the weaker fake out bolt, chrom still suffers a circular burn on his torso which eventually scars over.

robin the relentless now battering of grima in his skull takes a toll on robin, whos mental health effects physical health as he distrusts himself after being possessed. unable to bring himself to eat human remains as he needs to for its magic properties in the context of his species due to it reminding him of his closeness to grima, he faces physical weakness and a growing urge to hunt, which only makes him further parinoid about his fell blood. espessially frazzled, robin spends almost all his time either planning for the next meeting with the enemy or allies, or out on a walk to "clear his mind", which is moreso because hes afraid of lashing out at others.

--- postgame

chrom after robins sacrifice, he searches without end for him, hanging onto nagas words that he can come back. he neglects returning home and to the throne to do so, and fails to take care of himself worst of all, often going hungry, pushing himself physically, and getting frustrated with others and himself. lucina eventually shakes it back into him that he must carry on for everyone no matter what and he reluctantly spends less time searching, and more on himself and others, but still feels lost and incomplete. finally being able to start his duties as exalt for good once he finds him, chrom settles into a less active life, serving as the public face for his kingdoms new era while robin works out the paperwork side of things. he shaves inconsistently, essentally leaving his beard growing out only for however long robin can convince him. (robin says its a mature and kingly look, but chrom thinks its scratchy and strange to see in the mirror.)

robin im retconning the mark of grima disappearing because i think they look cool. robin returns to his desk work posture and living in a castle closeness to food, but struggles with his creature of darkness hunger. his nature returns to being level headed and intuitive, able to find peace and stability after returning to the world of the living, eventually leading to the creation of the twin morgans. he enjoys the imports from his home country now that theyre no longer waring and are now working on repairing the bond between each country. although he has clothes from the castle tailors, he prefers to wear plegian clothing, seeing himself as the most important ambassador to the country of his birth while the distrust between each country repairs. although it changes often, he averages out as about the same height as chrom.

------ other notes:

im a "each eye has a brand" lucina chrobin truther. so theres that. Lucinas hair lightens slightly over time, when he would eventually be in her late 30s to early 40s, it would reach an only slightly blue sort of silver color, where it would stop changing. it changes as it grows, so in her 20s, she has a sort of ombre going on.

the morgans have mirrors of eachothers brand mark, with the brand of the exalt on morganf's left hand, and morganm's right, with the brand of the exalt on the opposite for each. (who each have chrobs blue hair.) the morgans are entirely identical physically, only robin and henry can tell them apart, as robin can naturally see their magically aura, and henry navigates via using a sort of magical sonar, and can hear them as separate noises their souls make, and plays stupid about how others get confused. robin enjoys using the twins to troll others, which is why he dresses them the same and cuts them the same haircut. chrom doesnt really think its funny but the kids enjoy it too so he doesnt care.

owain is trans in my hcs, and isnt out to anyone except robin, who asked because plegian culture percieves gender differently than ylissians do, so the both of them act confused on why lissa's baby is a girl. despite this, owain spends lots of quality time with his family, after witnessing his parents die in his timeline, he wont let the discomfort of hearing his deadname deter him from spending time with them, and enjoys playing with his "little sister" who can sometimes be a bit too rough and tumble for the other kids because of her claws. (lissa is a human, but ricken is nonhuman, sort of like a sphinx thing, which owain is in turn. although both of them usually just use a human form because thats the norm)

[apieceofconsciousness]

oh my fucking god im 18 in a week

god i was about to write some sappy shit and it just it me and its over im no longer a child ever ever again after this and im crying im fucking sobbing its 2:29 in the morning and i have school tmrw and my jaw is shaking because i cant stop sobbing. this is the end. the final nail in the coffin of childhood. i cant do this im not ready please take me back im so sorry i know i wasnt a good person but also maybe i was 15 for fucks sake im so sorry ive hurt so many people and i cant take it back i cant even do mothers day right for gods sake my mom has to deal with me so much im so so so sorry mom i love you so much and i cant even show it properly god i cant do this i can barely do mondays god im losing myself im losing myself so much. ive been a wreck on legs for a decade and im getting slower i cant do this anymore i cant do anything properly by myself anymore i am so fucking bad at this i had so so so much more i wanted to do by the time i hit this for some reason magic number 18 and god im such a fucking failure. im so so so sorry. why am i so wrong. jackie has to put up with me my friends just deal with me i can see it when they instantly tune out they dont care anymore because ive been too high around them too many times they instantly think i have nothing useful to say or they just dont care and i get it i fucking get it i beg and beg and plead for change but i just cant do it its too much to handle and its too much to do and i cant handle it because im fucking useless. everyone around me is going to these universities and i feel like im losing myself even after having a plan. i dont know what to do. i has supposed to do more things than ive done and im so lazy and useless and shes going to leave me once shes had enough of my bullshit and no matter how much i care i can never show it properly never take the actions to do it properly. why is everyone else always doing it better, why do they seem more put together. i cant do this anymore. what wall am i behind that im missing just how horrible am i at everything god im so fucking bad at this. it took a very long time to understand just how deep the hate for myself goes. im battling myself. im so so tired. i need help and im still never going to ask for it in the way i need, that would be too much out of someone. i cant do this anymore, my body is tired, my mind is tired, i want to wither away. all of my desperate reaches to be noticed, to be a mark on the world is overwhelmed by not wanting to be a burden onto the people around me. i can barely show the right love back to the people who love me, the people who care about me. if im going to be worth nothing, then i shouldnt be taking up this space and time and become nothing. I WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT HERE. I TRIED TO END IT 5 TIMES BUT OUT OF PURE SPITE OF DEATH I REMAIN HERE. I LIVE. I LIVE!!! I LIVE AND I LOVE AND I BREATHE. I REMAIN HERE TO LOVE. PLEASE READ THIS. PLEASE REMEMBER ME. PLEASE ASK ME HOW IM DOING AND ASK AGAIN WHEN ITS OBVIOUSLY THE WRONG ANSWER. PLEASE ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM. IM SORRY I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE THE BEST PERSON OR FRIEND OR PARTNER OR SON BUT IM TRYING IM TRYING GODAMMIT WHAT IS THIS FOR IF NOT TO TRY AND TRY AND TRY. I REMEMBER BEING 12 AND THINKING I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT TO 18 BUT IM HERE I FUCKING MADE IT OH MY FUCKING GOD IT TOOK SO MUCH BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS AND IT MEANS FUCKING NOTHING BECAUSE THE TIME WOULDVE PASSED ANYWAYS BUT WE'RE HERE WE DID IT 15 YEAR OLD ME. DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN 18 WASNT EVEN A POSSIBILITY BESIDES IN PROMISES TO PEOPLE WE CANT EVEN TALK TO ANYMORE? IM FUCKING HERE AND IT SUCKS OH MY GOD IT SUCKS SO FUCKING BADLY BUT IM STILL HERE AFTER ALL OF IT. I CANT EVEN IMAGINE GOING THROUGH SHIT RN FOR 6 MONTHS BUT I LOOK BACK AND IVE BEEN SAYING THAT ABOUT SHIT FOR YEARS AND LOOK WE'VE BEEN STAYING MOVING FORWARD. ITS SO HARD TO CONTAIN IM SHAKING AND SOBBING MY EYES OUT BUT WE DID IT WE DID IT IM PROUD OF YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH BUT WE MADE IT HERE. REMEMBER THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. BUT ITS HERE IN SPITE OF IT ALL

[kudosoncontinuing]

This is a message for me and only me:

I’m just so sorry for everything that I put you thro, iknow that you’re trying and been trying for a while now and I know that you’re feeling so down rn, I know that life feels so heavy right now

I know that you’re lonely, feeling so empty and out dated

Trust me it’s going to get better, it sometimes does

Does it?

I’m fighting so many demons and so many battles all day everyday, no one knows about

I just wish i can pour everything outta my brain, cause cut me ASLACK PLS im so tired so so so tired. So drained. So lifeless

I don’t think I have realized that before, I truly feel like life sucks

It sucks so much

I’m having some weird thoughts tonight, I wish I can write them down cause I know I don’t mean them at all I’m just so done with everything I’m and been going thro

This is isn’t easy at all, never has been I know m

But pls god pls some mercy on me I’m losing it, I wish I was pretending but this is my reality

So sad so fucking sad

WHY DOES IT FEEL SO HARD TO LIVE LIFE THESE DAYS

i want to be free

I’m so sick of living inside my dark ass mind, nobody knows, nobody notices, just a bunch of ppl caring about their lives where I won’t be

I want to be free again

God pls pls pls, can you help me when no one is

Can you be there for me cause nobody is

Can you help me get out these crazy lifeless things I’m going through

It’s been like this for months

And I can’t tell what’s real and what’s fake

I’m just so done, so over everything

It’s 11:43 pm in here, im in Egypt, alexndria to be exact,

It’s so dark so dark over here

I can hear some cars beeps other than that I can’t hear anything, it feels so calm the type that would make you sleep in peace or maybe eat your graves in peace or shall I say my grieves are eating me alive rn

I don’t want to sound un thankful cause I really am so thankful for everything and I know that’s that is a part of the journey but can I be tired for today can I cry for hours? Can I make everything look bad, can I please scream everything out

I cant fit in this greeny world we live in, for today at least

Is that ok?

I’m losing my mind, i know I am, I kinda tend to gas light myself that I’m making these sorrows out of nothing or at least little things

But ok when I’m all about making things up here why does IT FEEL so heavy? Why does my throat hurt this much? Why can I even make a crying sound rn why can’t I just be TODAY

I think I’m done with writing or am I

I just don’t know I don’t even have anyone to talk to. Is that sad enough for me to believe myself?

When I say I’m not ok now, can i pls just believe myself today, I don’t even want to prove nobody anything but myself, so hey please can you believe that can you please let your guards down today for yourself

Can i pls just stop being this harsh on myself -

That’s it.

[cognitosclowns]

AYOOOOO HI THERE LOVELY!!! A GIRL IS STARVED FOR SOME INSIDE JOB CONTENT AND WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD ANY LIKE FLUFF HCS 🥳 SPECIFICALLY TICKLING BC *sobs loudly*/pos LITERALLY SO CUTE AND SO SWEET!!! EITHER WAY GENUINELY ADORE UR ACCOUNT SND WISH YOU THE BEST UR SO COOL!! OKOKOK LIKE JUST THE MAIN GANG OR LIKE BRETT. BRETT <3 BUT THE WHOLE MAIN GANG IF U CAN AYAYAY ALRIGHT SORRY FOR SCREAMING BUT THANK YOU AND HAVE A GOOD DAY - 🥝

GOD THIS IS,,,,,, SO INDESCRIBABLY FUCKING CUTE YOU'RE GETTING HC'S FOR THE ENTIRE CREW <3333

ALL SFW JUST SOME,, CUTE SHIT

INCLUDING PLENTY OF X READER TOO,, JUST BECAUSE,,, ITS CUTE <3333 I WANNA TICKLE THESE CUTIES AND SEE THEM ALL GIGGLY. THEY DESERVE EVERY JOY <333

Reagan

UNDER THE ARMS <3333

HONKING. SHE HONKS. this honking snort while she curls up, vaguely slapping at you. 

SHE HATES BEIN TICKLED... for a bit, and then she’s a giggling mess of smiles.

SHES GONNA MANAGE TO RESTRAIN,, ON OF YOUR ARMS. NEVER BOTH SMDNSD. The War Has Been Waged <3

SHE MIGHT BOLT TO GRA THE PRODUCTIVITRON TO GET A LEG UP. Wrap your arms around her torso tho and she’s going nowhere <3 she has zero muscle.

she looks,, so much lighter after, even if she’s gonna call you a dick <33 sometimes it’s nice to have a good laugh <3

Brett

QUITE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. The most ticklish man alive. Feet and underarms get him worst.

He LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS. ITS SO LIGHT AND HAPPY SMNDS.

JUST,, TRYNA LAZILY PUSH YOUR HANDS AWAY WHILE HE LOSES OXYGEN <33 he loves it so much. It’s such a blast.

HE GETS THIS COMPETITIVE, HAPPY GLINT IN HIS EYESSS <3333 he wiggles his fingers a bunch as a ‘threat’ before diving for you. A very cute affair.

he does this thing where he Scrunches his hands a bunch on wherever you’re ticklish. YOURE DONE. YOURE DONE.

This big, satisfied sigh when its all over. His cheeks are,, so rosy and sweet. Happiest fella in the world rn <3

Glenn

ASK HIM IF HE'S TICKLISH HIS EYE IS GONNA TWITCH

he siblings used to tickle him. his fellow soldiers would mess with him too. HE CANNOT ESCAPE.

He might actually be worse than Brett smndsm. Try hard enough you can tickle any part of him - wiggly fingers just,, get him smdnsdm.

HIS LAUGH HIS HALFWAY BETWEEN WHEEZING AND,, TRILLING. he's 100% gonna cover his face bc he's Embarrassed by it. 

IF YOU’RE LUCKY YOU’LL GET HIS REALLY,, HAPPY STOMACH LAUGH <33 ITS VV LOUD AND HAPPY. PURE JOY. (I’m picturing the Justin McElroy laugh where it sounds like he’s Actually Dying mznxmcnxzc)

HIS ACCENT GETS SO THICK <333 ITS <33333 YEEHAW MODE ACTIVATED.

'I yield dammit!' lots of,, army swearing too.

Eventually he’s just gonna wrap you up in his arms tbh <3 bear hug, no escape, possibly ticking you back along your sides <3

Andre

FOOTSIES.

HIS FEET ARE SO TICKLISH. Ticklish that if his socks are too textured he cant wear them bc he's get all giggly and squirmy smdnsd.

'this is not a battle you want to- NONONONO' before bursting into laughter. 

His laugh gets SUPER GOOFY <3 like when you laugh so hard that your inhales make a ‘slll’ noise??? IDK NOW TO DESCRIBE IT BUT HE DOES THAT. WHERE ITS ALL SNIFFLY.

HE WILL KICK U (gently <3) MSNDMSD HE'S FLAILING HES SQUIRMING. fighting for his life.

HE’S ALSO CALLING FOR HELP. If y’all are at Cognito he’s gonna call out for Myc.

Myc will not help. Myc will in fact point out spots where hes more ticklish, and laugh his ass off in the corner <3

‘TRAITOR.’

‘mhm - oh, don’t forget his achilles.’

‘AAAAAA- HA - HA MYC (derogatory)’

DEFINITELY GONNA MAKE SOME STUPID JOKES TO KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR RHYTHM.

‘ooh Kinky- AH, AH NONO IM SORRY-’ 

Gigi

SHOULDERS, UNDER ARMS AND RIBS. upper body in general, you can't get her w/ the feet.

SHE MAKES THIS,, AMAZING SQUEALING GIGGLE <33 'pouting' while giggling and trying to grab your wrists <3

SHE WILL ABSOLUTELY FLOP ON YOU. FULLY LIMP FLOP ON YOU. This till not hinder you but it does mean her face is gonna be smooshes into yours. 

Not above licking your face to catch you off guard and then Presto Reverso now YOURE GETTING TICKLED <3

She always has super long nails so,, she doesn’t even need to lift your shirt or anything smnds YOU’RE DONE FOR.

Eventually both of you will,, completely collapse into a giggling cuddle pile <3

Myc

THE ROOTS OF HIS TENTACLES. His laugh starts out as a little giggle until it’s a complete CRESCENDO.

HE SNAPS OUTTA IT PRETTY QUICK THO BC,, CLEARLY SMB NEEDS THEIR ASS WHOOPED.

‘OHO you little shit, C’MERE-’ WHAT’D YOU EXPECT, TRYING TO TICKLE A MAN WITH 6 ARMS?

You’re positively fucked buddy smdns you’re gettin tickled within and inch of your life and he’s gonna be laughin his ass off the whole time

‘aww lookit that, isn’t that sad- should’ve thought of that before, HUH?’

<333 eventually he’ll just flop u on the couch and tease you <3 talk about how stupid you look (affectionate)

might poke your cheeks while you catch your breath after. he thinks you’re cute when you’re all tired n happy. shh.

Jr

HIS STOMACHHHH. Sides, under his navel, that whole area.

The moment he sees those Fingers Poised To Attack he raises two hands like,, smsnd he's trying to calm a wild animal.

He Is not Fast Enough To Escape But He Sure Does Try To Bolt

FISTS BATTING AT YOUR SHOULDERS, OR CLUTCHING HIS CHEST TRYNA BREATHE.

His legs kick like he's being suffocated and LORD DOES HE BLUSH. BRIGHT RED AROUND THE EARS, hes a completely mess.

LOTS OF,, HOSTAGE JOKES. ‘No, no! I have money, I can pay you-hoo-hoo :(’ AND THE LIKE,, he cracks himself up sdmnsd

the moment you stop you’re Positively Fucked

'oooh no you don't' HES GONNA GETCHA HES GONNA GETCHA HE MIGHT BE OLD BUT HES GONNA LEAP OVER FURNITURE TO CATCH YOU SMDNSD.

Eventually he’s just gonna,, scoop you up in his arms and carry you upstairs to lay down <33 after so much goofing around,,, you two need a nice nap.

Alpha-Beta

He very quickly learns that no matter what his answer is to the question Are You Ticklish is, he's gonna get tickled. The folly of man.

THANKFULLY HE'S PROTECTED BC,,, his sides n underarms aren't ticklish?? He'll just give you a very unimpressed smirk. He insists above everything he isn't ticklish. He's a flawless being, of course, why would you think he'd be ticklish?

.... it's his neck. Back of his neck + between his shoulder blades. His shoulders + hands jump up like he's been shocked + this massive panicked GASP

HES GONNA SPIN AROUND N GLARE AT YOU + ,,,, GET REALLY HUFFY AND FLUSTERED. WEAKNESS DISCOVERED HE IS >:((

if you get him between the shoulderblades HE CAN'T EVEN REACH BACK TO GRAB YOUR HAND,, HE JUST HAS TO TWIST AROUND AND FLAIL. This is the most uncomposed you will ever catch him.

His voice box goes Fucking Nuts with glitches + clipping.

'you filthy cheat' and 'horrible, traitorous bastard' are wheezed out in between him trying to Escape Your Clutches. Biting his lip to try not to smile, failing miserably

ALL OF THIS WAS SO POSITIVELY GOOFY <333 IM SORRY. EEE THIS WAS CUTE TYSM FOR THE LOVELY ASK ANON

#<333 HELLO KIWI ANON NICE TO MEETCHA #brett hand #brett hand x reader #glenn dolphman #glenn dolphman x reader #gigi thompson #gigi thompson x reader #sfw #reagan ridley #reagan ridley x reader #andre lee #dr andre lee #andre lee x reader #dr andre lee x reader #the gang #jr scheimpough #jr scheimpough x reader #robotus alpha-beta #robotus alpha-beta x reader #alpha-beta #alpha-beta x reader #myc #magic myc #magic myc x reader #myc x reader #KIWI ANON ILY <333 THIS WAS SO FUCKING ADORABLE TO WRITE IM GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT RN #inside job #asks

[interstellarflowers]

Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”

#tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #bruce banner #tony stark #iron man #idk #sorry #ill prolly rewrite this seven times