#interesting that they didn’t bring up some of his actual biggest deceptions

[demigodofhoolemere]

*casually scrolling down Facebook, enjoying myself*— oh boy, what baloney is it bound to be this time

*sees that it’s from an official Marvel page* ohhh boy... what official baloney is it bound to be this time...

*sighs, cracks knuckles*

1)

Given that the context of “trick” in this article is clearly meant to be “deception”, I’m a little lost with this one because it’s not like the people wouldn’t realize that the copies are fake, so it’s not exactly deceptive and definitely more of a trick in the magic sense, but whatever, at least this is something you can call a trick.

2)

*deep breath*

Lol there are few things that make me lose my crap like people insisting that Loki faked his death, at any point in time. As outrageous as it is when people act like his legit suicide attempt was just a fakeout for the lolz (and oh my word is it outrageous), this instance is another brand of frustrating because Marvel themselves have contradicted their own canon and now act like the Svartalfheim death was an intentional fake, having Ragnarok!Thor accuse Loki of it without any chance for a defense, leaving the audience to take his word for it. I just — *explodes*

NOT A TRICK. NOT PART OF SOME GRAND PLAN. Even if you don’t pay attention to behind the scenes material to know that both Tom and Feige have spoken about how this death was a real sacrifice and that he didn’t even expect to come back from it, how do so many people manage to collectively ignore the actual events of the movie?! Loki attached the detonator to Kurse while he was also attached to him, he had no way of knowing he’d get tossed off of the blade. There is literally nothing in the entire scene to suggest that he had any intention of faking anything — very much the opposite, considering he put himself in front of Jane multiple times, did not hesitate to run to Thor’s aid, and would have willingly been sucked away right along with Kurse. Loki displays constant self-sacrifice here. This scene is actually a showcase of the goodness and bravery of his true character, not of any deceptive nature. And, y’know, that’s the way it was filmed. (Also is it so hard to believe he would genuinely sacrifice himself for Thor? Why is that so unbelievable?)

And I’ve said this before but seriously, Loki must be horrible at planning if replacing Odin to be on the throne was somehow a goal of his, considering the first thing he does is try to pass the rule over to Thor. It’s not stated explicitly but judging by his character and the circumstances surrounding it, you can read between the lines and figure that Loki, upon realizing he was still alive, went back to Asgard simply to remove Odin because he was becoming unhinged and a threat to the people’s safety (we know from Thor 1 that Loki cares a great deal about what makes a good king of Asgard, since the sabotaging of Thor’s coronation was because he wasn’t ready to be that yet), not to mention Odin made it clear that he was willing to kill Thor and the Warriors for treason. Quietly removing him was a good thing for a whole lot of people. I don’t doubt that he was going to step down and let Thor take the reins now that he’d proven himself so well, only that didn’t go quite as expected. Is it technically speculation? Yes. Does it fit into canon and make a boatload more sense than any nonsense claims about being powerhungry and wanting Asgard under his thumb? Yes times infinity. Look no further than his legitimately good and peaceful rule for proof of that.

*breathes*

Anyway. Not fake. Not powerhungry. Next.

3)

“Remember everything that happened during The Avengers?” I absolutely do but the tone of the way that’s worded like he was nothing but an evil criminal doing all of it for his own enjoyment kind of tells me that you might not.

“It only gets worse after his mother, Frigga, dies.” We only even see it after she’s dead? Kind of the reason he looked like that to begin with.

Fact-checking nitpicking aside, it’s at least a genuine deception he tried to pull, and props for acknowledging that he has a habit of hiding his feelings.

4)

Not sure why they felt the need to address his replacing Odin twice, but this one is in the context of his appearance being a trick rather than the ever-frustrating claim that he orchestrated some cunning plan, so I’ll take it.

(As an aside, I don’t know where they’re getting the idea that the Asgardians were upset as if this was established, since we’re literally never shown a single real reaction to it. It stands to reason that some of them might have been less than pleased, but clearly not enough to make a stink about it, or even enough to be distrustful of him, considering they seem pretty chill with his presence and totally rolled with it like he was still their trusted prince when he came to rescue them. I think they connected the dots that things have been much safer since he’d been in charge.)

5)

The most legitimate one on the list, I feel. And honestly refreshing to see anyone acknowledge that his behavior on Sakaar was a ruse to get himself in a good position rather than him just genuinely enjoying himself on Planet Garbage.

6)

I’m not going to take Thor’s word for it, actually. His version of child Loki is wildly incongruous with the anxious, introverted child we have literally seen with our own eyes.

Improv lines need to be vetted to make sure they actually fit the continuity. Cartoony villain Loki who has loved stabbing people his whole life and fakes his death for fun is what you get when you give the green light for ridiculous things to make it through the edit. It may technically be canon now (not that I care to give Ragnarok canon the time of day) that he did indeed play those tricks (*grumble*), so as far as accuracy of the article goes, I can’t be frustrated with the writer because it unfortunately passes, but oh how I wish I lived in the timeline where it doesn’t. Because let’s be real, it’s bogus. @ Marvel,

~~~

Aaaaanyway. Some legit examples (for once) mingled with the usual irritations. Far better than other articles but given that it’s on an official Marvel site I wish it were better. Not that I expect anything from them at this point. Honestly they’re at fault for nearly all of the problems on this list to begin with, so the writer gets a pass because for the most part they did list legitimate instances of what they were going for and my beefs aren’t really about those themselves save a few, definitely much more about factual errors and Marvel being a bunch of dummies.

Also I clearly have no life if this is what I do with my time. But Marvel needs to stop spending their time being so wrong about their own content, dang it.

#not the worst article i've ever criticized but apparently i needed to let some steam out #marvel critical #with a dash of #ragnarok critical #marvel #loki #interesting that they didn’t bring up some of his actual biggest deceptions #the first movie has the most of them and it’s not here at all for some reason

[allmightluver]

So, what is your take on the EM relationship? Who was the one to fall first and confess? Please support your speculations/opinions with canonical evident, if you'd like 😏 (BECAUSE YOU'RE SO DAMN GOOD AT IT ❤️) Thank you for your time 🙏

Oh goodness

You really want me to go all out huh Kunshi 😏

Well, I’ll try to summarize this as best I can ***(This may have some spoilers so be warned)**

The relationship between All Might and Eraserhead has been quite the journey. You can say, frenemies to “hey you’re not so bad”. They’ve known of each other for years, before the present timeline. Here in Vigilante’s, Eraserhead tells Tsukauchi that the situation they’re in is so dire, they need the Number 1. Aizawa acknowledges how powerful All Might is, despite disapproving of how handles media and fame.

But they didn’t really know each other until All Might started at UA. 

Aizawa believed Yagi to be reckless, irresponsible, and foolish in taking a job he has no training for. Not to mention the obvious favoritism. Yagi believed Aizawa to be too harsh and cold hearted on the children. Though as the two got to know each other, and went through traumatic events together (USJ and Kamino), they started to warm up more to each other, actually taking the time to get to know one another. 

All Might rushes to an injured Aizawa’s side, and the sight of how broken, bloodied and damaged his co-worker is visibly upsets him. The way Toshinori’s voice softens as he apologizes to Aizawa, unclear if it’s out loud or in his mind. Toshinori probably feels terrible whenever anyone’s been injured, but he seems particularly held up over Aizawa, most likely because he himself couldn’t be there when it happened. He was of being a hero all morning, and wasted all his time in his muscle form, so he wasn’t there with them like he should have been. Which meant Aizawa and (Thirteen) had to fight to protect the students, even if they were clearly unmatched. They were both badly injured in the process, all because Toshinori wasn’t there.

Then after the fight, Toshinori cuts his friend, Tsukauchi, off and asks how Aizawa, wait, Eraserhead, is doing. Oh and Thirteen too. He was relieved to find he they were alright.

When Kamino hit we see how intently Aizawa watches the news, watches All Might, watches Toshinori. He was clearly concerned, and in seeing AFO summon his many quirks in order to eliminate All Might once and for all, Aizawa’s concern only grows. And for good reason.

As an after effect, the students needed to move into dorms. Aizawa and Toshinori are paired together to speak to 1A’s students. It’s in the car that Aizawa, awkwardly, offers to buy Toshinori a drink. To which Toshinori politely declines, as he can’t drink. (*face palm*) 

However, after dealing with Bakugo’s...different family, Toshinori nudges Aizawa with an elbow his injured arm no less, and whispers that he now owes Aizawa a drink. 

Dunno about you, but I’d have to be pretty comfortable with someone before I’m close enough to nudge them and whisper secrets. And Toshinori is always seeking to know Aizawa better, be closer, impress him.

They even go out on a date to get a drink together.  Toshinori’s inner dialogue is the most interesting, from “I’m going to be even better friends with Aizawa-kun...!” to “All Might, you just gotta push past the walls of Aizawa-kun’s heart!” ...uh huh. To which Mic and Midnight totally crash their “Secret Dinner Outing” and invite themselves to stay, much to Toshinori’s (”Or on second thought...probably not then.”) and Aizawa’s despair (”Go home!” x3). Get outta here, you’re ruining our date!  And after Toshinori takes his leave, Aizawa chases him down outside to say....? “Thank you very much. I’m drunk right now so I probably wouldn’t say this if I wasn’t. But because you fought at Kamino and took down AFO for us, I’ll do my part and look after the students as much as I can. That’s why I want to thank you for everything.” To which after a silence, Toshinori responds with, “Aizawa-kun, let’s watch over the students from here on out together.” ...to which Aizawa mentions he won’t remember any of this and to never bring it up ever again.  (*repeat face palm*)

This only proves they’re becoming much, much, closer. They’ve gone beyond plus ultra frenemies and onto true friends. They take each other’s words and thoughts into account in a serious manner, like how Yagi managed to convince Aizawa to let him go to Bakugo and Midoriya when they snuck out, as well as going easy on punishment for them.

Aizawa’s also shown growing concern for Toshinori after his retirement. Firstly from seeing Toshinori out and about so soon after Kamino while he was still recovering from his injuries. And on the occasion a falling rock nearly connects to Toshinori’s head, you can see how quickly Aizawa reacts. The way you can almost see a flashback of his childhood friend’s unfortunate death running through his head as he tries to save Toshinori from the same fate. Once Midoriya saves Toshinori, Aizawa still reaches out to him, like he’s worried the man may get hurt, break, as he tells him that it’s not safe in this environment, and that Toshinori should leave, go where it’s safe.

When Aizawa couldn’t attend Bakugo and Todoroki’s extra classes, he asks Toshinori to go in his place, and even makes Present Mic go along as a body guard. He’s clearly concerned for the former hero’s safety and well-being. Toshinori now often fills in for Aizawa if he can’t make it to his own class.

When Midoriya’s new quirk is discovered, Aizawa takes Toshinori’s anxiety about the situation seriously, and they immediately go to put a stop to the training battle. 

But once Midoriya’s quirk settles down, Aizawa decides to let this play out, and calms Toshinori, saying he’ll put a stop to it if the situation happens again.

He later describes Toshinori as a genius, naturally talented, when explaining to Shinsou how he doesn’t expect the kid to be on the same level with the others in the hero course right off the bat. Aizawa has extreme respect for Toshinori.

The biggest moment between the two is late on a snowy night, when Toshinori sits outside in the cold, alone, contemplating...well, his life honestly. Aizawa find’s him, “there you are,” apparently looking for the taller man. Toshinori at first automatically deflects any questions about himself, and asks about the children. He then offers to help Aizawa with training Eri, in which the underground hero gladly accepts (something that Aizawa would not have done in the past, as he hated even speaking to the older man before). But Aizawa can see through the façade, and asks what’s wrong. Aizawa is one of, if not the only, person Toshinori confides in so deeply.  Horkioshi confirmed recently that of everyone (adults, I assume), pro heroes included, Toshinori is the closest to Aizawa. Toshinori decides he can trust Aizawa with his mental weights. He’s decided to live, but feels useless staying alive, powerless, unable to help anyone, or at least how the children need him to. 

Aizawa’s initially unnerved at the fact that Toshinori decided to live, as if the contemplation of otherwise was there. But he listens quietly, intently, to what Toshinori says. Finally, he tries to reason with the older man that being a workaholic, and never having time to rest, isn’t good either, points out that after holding up the country for decades, suddenly not having it has left an addiction. Toshinori doesn’t know what to do if he’s not running himself ragged. But also tells him that he is helping the students--by being alive, and by being here for them. There are a lot of people (Aizawa included?) that gain strength, just by Toshinori being there, alive. And he asks him to please keep on living and acting like his normal self. Toshinori’s overcome with emotion at his words.

For a relationship between the two, I’m sure they both would have had feelings for quite some time before ever admitting to it. Knowing their personalities, Aizawa would feel his feelings were illogical and deceptive. Toshinori is just a tad older than him, has met probably thousands more people than Aizawa ever will, and he was the number one hero. Falling for a guy like that just seemed too predictable and annoying. But Aizawa soon learns the differences between All Might and Toshinori, and while the latter still rubs him the wrong way at times, the tall, willowy man has managed to capture his heart. He feels compelled to care for the other, make sure he’s taking proper care of himself. And yet he tells himself it’s too invasive of the other man’s privacy; none of his business. When Mic and Midnight drag him to the bar and question him why his mood was off, he’d give no answer save for a shrug, and down another beer.

Toshinori would have feelings rather early, but most likely not realize they were more than just finally getting the grouchy Aizawa-kun to tolerate him. As weeks go by, he would catch his heart racing at Aizawa’s presence, blushing when the scruffy man would make tea for him after a coughing fit, and way too elated when Aizawa accepted the invitation for a drink together, alone. One night it would hit him just exactly how he feels for the younger man, and his heart would clench. Surely Aizawa couldn’t feel the same way, especially for a man as old, sickly, and awkward as himself. Even if it were possible, his own death is due to come within the next year, and he couldn’t do that to Aizawa-kun. He’d spend several nights fighting and eventually failing to quietly let his tears fall into the pillow below him as he tries to sleep, alone.

The two would cautiously work together, stepping around their own feelings to keep things normal between them. All the while Aizawa’s brain would fight against his heart, and Toshinori’s chest would tighten until a bloody cough was produced.

Finally, finally, after Mic and Midnight pry it out of Aizawa like a game of Operation, they force him to ask Toshinori out. It takes a week, but Aizawa finally finds the right moment to ask the former hero out for a drink and bar food. Glamorous as always, especially for a first date. But Toshinori gladly accepts, and spends the rest of the day convincing himself it’s just a friendly supper, between friends, not a date.

That night the two have a lovely evening of greasy bar food (which Toshinori politely only orders a small plate of fries, as there’s nothing blander on the menu) and beer (Toshinori also drinks a plain water). Aizawa apologizes for not taking Toshinori’s diet into account when picking where they met, and says he’ll let Toshinori pick the restaurant next time. Toshinori freezes at his wording. Aizawa’s quick to try and resolve, but Toshinori stops him. Asks him what exactly this is. A friendly dinner? Or something more? Aizawa buries into his scarf, and answers with a question in return; what do you want it to be? It’s then Toshinori sets his glass down, takes a moment to breathe, before spilling that he’d hoped it was a date. He’s bright red as he explains how he believes he’s developed...feelings over the months working together. That he wanted to go out again, but that he hadn’t wanted to force his feelings on Aizawa. Who would want someone like him?

These two have so much chemistry. They’ve been through so much together already: disagreements, near deaths, critical injuries, awkward moments of a budding friendship, talking each other off the ledge. In all the ships of the series, EraserMight has one of the most obvious connections and chemistries.

#lover talks #ask me #head canons #EraserMight #sorry this took me so long :( #Thanks for putting up with me <3 #all might #toshinori Yagi #Eraserhead #Aizawa shouta #relationships #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

[couslie]

Alistair is not a ‘himbo’: discussion of the continuous mischaracterization of Alistair with disregard to his trauma.

Throughout the fandom, Alistair is seen as a ‘cheese-loving himbo,’ and his personality is narrowed down to these two factors. People often see him as stupid, to put it simply, and others see him as ‘annoying’ and ‘whiny’. However, Alistair is quite possibly one of the most in-depth and fleshed out character that BioWare has developed. He is not actually stupid, and he should not be labeled as ‘whiny’ or ‘annoying’ either. Under the cut is an in-depth perspective of Alistair, his trauma, and his personality. 

Disclaimer: this is not going to be a ‘callout’ post to the fandom in any way. It is simply a character analysis on Alistair and his coping mechanisms for his trauma and how it is often misperceived. Warning for length.

Firstly, what is a ‘himbo?’

A ‘himbo’ is described as “an attractive but stupid young man,” most commonly used in reference to Alistair in the Dragon Age fandom. While the jokes are funny, sometimes it is taken a little too far. I have seen many people truly believe that Alistair is dumb and incompetent, and honestly, at first I also believed so. Throughout Dragon Age Origins, numerous characters comment on Alistair’s intellect including himself. This is often misinterpreted that Alistair is indeed unintelligent since he says so himself, right? Not quite.

Trauma:

Anyone who has played Dragon Age Origins knows that Alistair is the secret bastard son of King Maric to a ‘serving-girl in Redcliffe’. Instead of being raised by King Maric, Alistair was hidden away with his half-brother’s uncle, Arl Eamon, in Redcliffe. Eventually, rumors floated around that Alistair was Arl Eamon’s son, a rumor that Arl Eamon’s wife believed. Consequently, Alistair was sent to a Chantry monastery to begin training as a Templar around the age of ten; ten years later being ‘saved’ by Warden Commander Duncan and conscripted into the Grey Wardens. This is the biggest subplot in DAO, and other than the Blight looming over Fereldan/Thedas, is a main point in DAO’s storyline. 

This alone sounds absolutely awful for a child to have to go through. But it gets much, much worse for Alistair. Traveling though Fereldan with Alistair and talking with him gets him to open up a little about what his childhood was like. Most of it is shrouded in humor; however, he lets some truth shine through.

From this we can confer that Alistair did not have an ideal childhood living with the Arl in Redcliffe. Especially since when the Arl would visit Denerim, Alistair would sleep with the hounds. Not only is it hinted that Alistair suffered child neglect, it is also hinted that he may have suffered verbal abuse. As Arl Eamon was one of the only people to know that Alistair was Maric’s bastard, the verbal abuse and belittlement most likely came from him. 

 Throughout Alistair’s life he felt uncared for, and was so ignored and neglected as a child that even grown up he feels invisible and unheard. 

So uncared for, that even the simple act of giving him a gift he acts as if he never had anyone ever give him anything (which is possible except for maybe a few times). 

Or, even just remembering that he mentioned something.

Or, even a simple compliment makes him feel unworthy.

No one would listen to him or what he wanted, and that is another main sub plot of DAO. Going to visit Goldanna, the player can choose whether or not to harden Alistair and basically tell him, “People only look out for themselves. It’s time you did, too.”

Alistair felt he was unloved, unwanted, and a general burden to his family (and especially felt this way after meeting Goldanna). The only person he felt may have loved him was his mother who he believed to be a serving-girl; a main reason he holds on to his mother’s amulet. She represents the only person in his life, up until Duncan, who he thought would have loved and be proud of him. 

Coping Mechanisms:

Now that Alistair’s trauma is laid-out, we can move on to how he copes with said trauma. Alistair uses humor as a defense mechanism to cope with his childhood traumas, and it is very common, especially self-deprecating and dark humor. According to G. Swaminath, “Freud postulated that humor [sic] works by means of two principal mechanisms, ‘condensation’ and ‘displacement’. Condensation entails an economy in thought and expression and conserves psychic energy, and displacement transfers this psychic energy arising from conflict or incongruity to a humorous anecdote, which brings relief. Freud believed that cultivating a sense of humor [sic] could help lift repressions (i.e. unconscious conflictual material) but could also be harmful, particularly in certain forms of sarcasm and irony, directed at the self.”

(source)

Most, if not all of Alistair’s humor, is directed at himself in a very self-deprecating manner. Whether to make the player feel better, to make himself seem unimportant, or because his self-esteem is truly that low.

For Alistair, appearing as an idiot was the easiest way to be under the radar. He never wanted to be King. He didn’t want people to treat him differently, either, for knowing that King Maric was his father. The best way to seem insignificant was to belittle himself and appear that he was an ‘idiotic nobody’.

On top of all this, the player can even callout Alistair for using humor as a defense mechanism and deflecting questions that he doesn’t really want to answer.

It’s not that Alistair is truly unintelligent or ‘whiny/annoying,’ he is using humor to cope and defend in the best way he knows how.

So, is Alistair actually intelligent?

Firstly, intelligence is hard to measure. One person’s definition of intelligence could vary wildly from another person’s. There’s also the perspective that intelligence can be categorized. For example, a person may be book-smart but not street-smart and vice-versa. Who is to say, however, that both are not equally as intelligent, but just in different categories? There is no basis for ‘intelligence.’ Everyone can be intelligent in their own way, and for Alistair, he is intelligent on history (specifically chantry), battle tactics, and knowing deception/people’s motives. 

(Alistair not being told what the dark ritual is for)

As @mahariel-theirin​ said: “Right from the start you can just tell Alistair is smart, and not just because of his wit. When the Warden asks him about the origin of darkspawn he says, “You want the Chantry version, or the truth?” When asked about the fight with the mage, he calls out the revered mother’s power play by using him as a messenger. Look at that insight. That awareness. And that’s just from the first 5 minutes of meeting him.”

End Notes:

Take out of this what you will. But Alistair is more of a ‘hunk’ than a ‘himbo,’ and shouldn’t be discredited. He was abused and neglected his whole life. I personally believe Alistair should be given more credit than he has been receiving, and BioWare for creating a character that is so in-depth and fleshed out they have deceived people in believing that Alistair is truly dumb. Which, ironically, is what Alistair wanted in-game. I am not in any way saying to quit joking about Alistair being a ‘himbo’ either! A lot of the jokes are quite funny. This was purely made out of the informational interest of some people not quite understanding Alistair’s character and truly believing he might be one of the most stupid people in Thedas (and potentially misunderstanding his humor/defense/coping mechanism as stupidity). If anything, Alistair is ‘himbo-passing’ at best.

Also, with special thanks to @planesofduality for their Dragon Age Compendium. It was tremendously useful, and I thank you for all the time and devotion you put in to it to make it possible. Many thanks! Also thanks to @sundogsandrainbows, @not-plaidweave​, and @irhinoceri​ for discussing this with me and encouraging me to make this meta.

#dragon age #dragon age origins #alistair theirin #dragon age alistair #da alistair #dragon age meta #da meta #dragon age analysis #da analysis #alistair meta #alistair theirin meta #metas #dao

[amarimaryllis]

I Like You So Much, You’ll Know It (Iwazumi x Reader)

Pairing: Iwaizumi/Reader  Prompt/Summary: You’re so in love with Iwaizumi Hajime that only the most oblivious person wouldn’t see your feelings for him. (Spoiler: he is the most oblivious person) Tags: Fluff Note: Use of she/her pronouns, Inspired by Ysabelle’s “I Like You So Much, You’ll Know It” Warnings: Mild Swearing

Almost everyone in Aoba Johsai who knew of your existence knew about the fact that you had the biggest crush on the volleyball team’s ace. Sometimes they didn’t even know your name, they just referred to you as “the girl who’s so into Iwaizumi-san”. You were that whipped, and you were that obvious. 

At first, you tried to hide your feelings. You made sure that no one would think you even liked Iwaizumi because you didn’t want the said boy to find out. So when almost the entire school found out about your crush on the ace, you were ready to dig your own grave. Fortunately—and quite, unfortunately—for you, Iwaizumi Hajime is dense. His perception of other people’s romantic feelings for him was as dense as the arm muscles he used to spike volleyballs. In short, he was extremely dense. Hell, you guys were in the same circle of friends, but for some reason, he still didn’t realize just how irrevocably whipped you are for him.

At least not until one day when the rest of your so-called friends decided to ditch both of you. 

It was a Monday, meaning your entire circle of friends would be walking home together because the boys didn’t have volleyball practice. However, it seemed like everyone but you and Iwaizumi had plans after class. Hanamaki and Matsukawa were going to some sort of arcade, Oikawa was going to pick up Takeru, and your two other best friends, Asano and Yamamoto were going to check out the new cafe that opened, and said cafe was conveniently on the direction opposite to your way home.

Which leaves you with Iwaizumi.

You were excited, but you two barely talked, and you didn’t know why it was like that. You guys were fine during the first year, comfortably talking from time to time, hell you were probably Iwaizumi’s number one cheerleader then, but in your second year, things got a little rocky for some reason, and it just got awkward all of a sudden. However, it was probably your fault for shying away from him due to your crush on the ace. Iwaizumi would make the effort to start small conversations with you, and he always seemed confident, but you on the other hand, wouldn’t even dare try to strike up small talk with the strong, reliable ace because you did not want to embarrass yourself in front of him. 

The tension in the air was palpable in the first few seconds that passed after your amazing friends decided to leave you both at the school’s gate. However, Iwaizumi is the first to break the silence.

“Guess I’m the only one walking you home today.” Iwaizumi has a sheepish grin on his face as he rubs the back of his neck. “I hope you don’t mind.”

You just wanted to pounce on him then and there and pepper his face with tiny kisses because, one, you did not mind at all, and two, he looked so cute at that moment that your heart felt like it was gonna combust.

“I don’t mind at all.” You can feel a blush creeping into your cheeks. “But your house is closer though, so technically it’s me who’s walking you home.”

Iwaizumi raises a brow before he ruffles your hair. “As if I’d ever let you walk home alone.”

The blush that was creeping into your cheeks was no longer creeping, it was sprinting through the surface of your skin so quickly that you were sure that the warmth that your face emitted was enough to get you through winter without a heater.

Iwaizumi seems to have realized the fact that his hand was still on your head, and he also seems to have realized what he just said. He immediately retracts his hand away, clearing his throat before he speaks, “Sorry.”

“I don’t mind.” You look at your shoes, the black surface suddenly looking like the most interesting thing on the planet. “But we should go already, it looks like it’s about to rain.”

Iwaizumi turns his gaze to the sky and sees the signs of a storm brewing. “You’re right, let’s go.”

The walk is as awkward as your conversation at the gates of the school. No words were shared, and a heavy layer of tension seemed to rest in the air. However, it didn’t seem like Iwaizumi felt the heaviness in the atmosphere at all. Either that or he’s doing a great job at looking calm and composed.

A few more seconds of silence pass and you can feel the tendrils of recklessness starting to tug at your body, urging you to do and say something stupid. You were pretty fed up with Iwaizumi being so dense that you almost didn’t care about the rejection. You just wanted him to know how much he means to you. Sure, a rejected confession would make things awkward, but both of you were already pretty damn awkward even without the confession. Surely nothing can be worse than this, right?

The words exit your mouth faster than your brain can evaluate them. “Hey Iwaizumi-san, do you not… like me?”

From the corner of your eye, you can see the corner of Iwaizumi’s lips tilt down into a frown, his eyebrows furrowing as he contemplates on what to say. “I do, though. Did Oikawa not tell you?”

“What?” It’s your turn to look confused. “What do you mean?”

“Huh?” Iwaizumi stops walking and turns to look at you. “Isn’t that why you don’t talk to me that often?”

“I’m not following.” You tilt your head in confusion, unable to decipher the words coming out from the ace’s mouth. 

Iwaizumi is gaping at you, a million thoughts seemingly running through his head as he blinks repeatedly. “Did Oikawa not tell you last year that I like you?”

You blink once. Twice. It takes three blinks before you can reply, and the best you can say is, “What?”

Your heart is beating quickly. The words are sinking in, but at the same time, they aren’t. The hopeful part of you says that Iwaizumi liked you, while the part that doesn’t want to get hurt from expectations refuses to believe the words coming out of the ace’s mouth.

Before Iwaizumi can reply, it starts raining.

“Shit, it’s raining.” Iwaizumi clicks his tongue before he shrugs his uniform jacket off and drapes it over your head. “Come on, there’s a convenience store just around the corner.”

Iwaizumi grabs your wrist, and you can only follow him because you were still too stunned to form any coherent thoughts. If you tried to reply now, you feel like the only thing that would come out of your mouth is ‘I love you’, and the world was not yet ready for that.

When you reach the convenience store, there are tiny droplets dripping from Iwaizumi’s hair, making you feel guilty because his jacket shielded you from the droplets of rain that decided to skydive at the worst time.

You’re both seated on one of the benches in the convenience store, thankfully, the one behind the register knew your circle of friends well, and she didn’t mind the fact that you were getting the floor wet.

You hand Iwaizumi his jacket, and he takes it, but instead of wearing it, he wraps it around your shoulders. “It’s cold, you might get sick.”

You frown. “I’m not the one who’s dripping wet from the rain. If anyone here has a chance of getting sick, it’s you. Take your damned jacket before you get sick.”

“Continue scolding me like that and I might just think you like me back.” You see the blush on Iwaizumi’s cheeks before he looks away from you.

“Stop that.” You grip at his jacket to wrap it tighter around your form. You were honestly just confused. Did this dense idiot really not know? And did this dense idiot actually feel the same? 

“Stop what?” Iwaizumi turns to look at you again, worry etched into every inch of his face. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Stop saying you like me when you don’t.” Your brain has reached the conclusion that maybe Iwaizumi finally realized that you did like him and was now leading you on. Deep in your heart, you knew that Iwaizumi was such a kind person that doing such a thing would never cross his mind, but you were still in denial because how the hell is someone like him, into someone like you? “It’s true that I like you but you don’t have to play with my feelings like that.”

“What?” Iwaizumi’s mouth is gaping open. “Are you saying that you… Do you like me?”

You blink at him in disbelief. A few beats pass and suddenly you’re laughing like a madwoman. You were ready to doubt him again, but the pure shock on his face was too genuine to be questioned. “You are dense! Oh my—“

Your sentence is cut off by your laughter, unable to hold it in. You couldn’t believe it.

Iwaizumi is still confused, but he looks a little embarrassed. There’s a blush on his cheeks, but there’s something in his eyes as he looks at you. A tiny glint of happiness shining in his eyes as he adores the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh.

When you calm down from your laughing, you decide to give Iwaizumi an explanation. “Yes, I do like you, you dense idiot. Probably since our second year? I’m pretty sure you’re the only one in the entire school who isn’t aware.”

There’s a blush on Iwaizumi’s cheeks as he searches your face for any sign of deception, but he finds none. The embarrassed look on his face is immediately replaced with a confident smirk as he brings his face closer to yours.

Instinctively you scoot back, but Iwaizumi’s reflexes are quick so one of his hands is immediately behind your neck to keep you where you are. “Bold of you to call me a dense idiot when I’ve been in love with you for three years and you never even noticed.”

It’s your turn to be embarrassed, your cheeks warming as you attempt to look down to avoid Iwaizumi’s intense gaze. 

“Oh no, you’re gonna look at me while I confess.” Iwaizumi teases as he removes his hand from your neck to tilt your chin upward. “I really like you, Y/N. Your smile, your eyes, the way you laugh… Just everything about you. You’re just so… Amazing.”

You can’t reply, too touched and overwhelmed to form any words.

“It sounds stupid, but I’m pretty sure I’ve imagined a hundred different futures with you the moment you cheered for me in that one Dateko game where I kept getting blocked.” Iwaizumi whispers, gazing into your soul in hopes that the other feelings he couldn’t put into words would be conveyed through his eyes. “You probably don’t remember, but that day, I realized that I’m gonna do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“I got pretty bummed out when you got distant in our second year, I thought you disliked me so I kept our conversations short just so I don’t inconvenience you.” Iwaizumi grows as he recalls the moment you guys got awkward before it’s replaced with a smile as he speaks. “What a surprise that you like me too, huh?” 

Iwaizumi chuckles lightly before he gently brushes a stray strand of hair from your forehead, and the feeling of the tip of his calloused fingers grazing your skin was enough to send your heart into a frenzy. “Can I…”

“Can you what?” You whisper, not wanting to ruin the moment by making your voice too loud.

“Can I kiss you?” Iwaizumi looks into your eyes, waiting for permission. Waiting for a sign, a word.

You don’t reply, instead, you grab him by his tie and tenderly press your lips against his. Your heart feels like it’s about to escape the confines of your chest as you move your lips against Iwaizumi’s. Years of chasing after Iwaizumi finally concluded, and damn did it conclude pretty damn well.

You’re the first to pull away. Leaning away as you looked to the side to hide the blush on your face.

There’s a stupid grin on Iwaizumi’s face, his wide eyes accompanied by a bright smile as he breathes deeply. “Shit, I’m in love.”

Your face practically bursts into flames at how happy Iwaizumi looked at that moment, but you compose yourself and muster a quick reply. “I mean, this situation would be pretty awkward if you aren’t.”

Iwaizumi raises a brow as he smirks teasingly—boy did that simple action do things to your heart—before he grabs your wrist, making you faceplant right into his sturdy chest. He proceeds to cup your cheeks with his hands, pressing his forehead on yours. “I’m not gonna ask you to be my girlfriend yet.”

You can feel your heart drop a bit as you look into Iwaizumi’s eyes.

“I’m gonna give you the first date that you deserve then I’ll ask you.” Iwaizumi grins as the worry on your face is replaced by a small pout. “I hope you say yes.”

“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.” You answer a little too quickly, which makes Iwaizumi chuckle before squishing your cheeks.

“I haven’t even taken you out on a date yet.” Iwaizumi reasons out, continuing to absentmindedly squish your cheeks with his large hands.

“If you’re not asking me then I’m asking you.” You grin teasingly. “I’ve been pretty whipped for a long time now and I’m not about to let this opportunity slip.”

Your heart leaps into somersaults at the sound of Iwaizumi’s laughter. 

“Fine, you win.” Iwaizumi pinches your cheek. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You nod enthusiastically.

Iwaizumi smiles before he places a hand on the back of your neck and pulls you in for another kiss. His other hand pulls you by your waist to bring you closer to him, and when you’re close enough, the hand on your neck moves your waist as well. Iwaizumi continues to kiss you, gently, sweetly, too afraid to hurt you in any way even if it was unintentional.

That day, you tell yourself, was probably the best day of your life. The rain added to the beauty of that moment because it gave you an excuse to snuggle into Iwaizumi’s side as he pressed small kisses on the side of your head from time to time.

A/N: I hope you guys liked it! This one was a piece I made a while back, so if it’s familiar then it’s probably from my old account before I deactivated it. I made a new account cause I realized I was more stressed when I wasn’t writing. Thank you for reading!

#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #genre.fluff #tw mild swearing

[hyperbali]

Agatha Harkness Was Right, And Here’s Why

Alright. Finally had to sit down and write my way out of this quiet, internal temper tantrum, and a few people were interested in seeing what I had to say, so I present to you:

Agatha Harkness Was Right, And Here’s Why

Disclaimer: MASSIVE spoilers for the entirety of WandaVision, and I am not nice about it.

I’ll start off by saying that, for all its foibles, WandaVision was genuinely a good example of a property within the MCU/Disney umbrella that stepped out of the usual ‘good guys fight bad guys action extravaganza’ in a way that pushed the envelope. The pseudo-horror aspect of the first few episodes is something I would really love to see engaged with on a more thoughtful basis in future projects.

I would say that it proved to be more than a vehicle to promote toys, but… well…

Yeah. Anyway.

I’ll assume that you watched WandaVision if you’re reading this, but quick recap: In the aftermath of ‘the Blip,’ Wanda is left broken and alone with no one in her corner. Her biggest mentor willingly abandoned his team to get his own ‘happy’ ending (do not get me started on Steve, that’s a document in and of itself), her other biggest mentor is probably off enjoying his family while ignoring the incredibly racist killing spree he’s been on for the past five years, and her lover is dead. When she goes to claim the body, she’s told nuh-uh, that’s government property, please leave.

So she goes to a plot of land in the middle of some nowhere town in New Jersey, which Vision apparently bought despite the fact they were living a pretty decently comfortable life in Scotland, where she looks at the deed that Vision drew a heart on and wrote ‘To Grow Old In’. Very sweet. Kind of weird, considering nothing of this caliber had ever been suggested for either of their characters and they’d been actively running from specifically the U.S. authorities? But sweet.

She has a breakdown and, in her grief, contains the entire town of Westview and all 3,892 of the people in it in her own personal paradise, where nothing bad ever happens beyond sitcom hijinks, no one dies, and every problem is tied up and neatly dealt with by the end of an ‘episode’. Except we learn that this is only paradise to Wanda, who apparently shares the aspect of having to relate everything to her favourite pop culture with Tony, because everyone else in Westview is more or less being psychologically tortured by the incredible amount of pain she’s in, forced to be puppeted actors to make her happy.

Bear in mind, Westview might have been bigger at some point - we have no idea how many people survived the Blip, or how many have been brought back to life within the past few weeks of the current setting. Either way, this is a town that has already dealt with a lot of trauma being dragged into yet another awful, much more specific kind of emotional damage, thanks to ‘the heroes’. Nice.

Agatha Harkness, a witch who’s been up to who-knows-what in the 340 years since she drained the coven that tried to kill her for getting a little too ambitious into jerky, feels the massive expenditure of magical power and decides to investigate. All the while, she carefully uses her own magic to try and peek into Wanda’s psyche, her motivations, all while keeping up appearances and not letting slip that anything is amiss.

I’ll point out that she’s no saint here, either - she specifically keeps one Westview resident at her mercy, and knows what’s happening to the rest of them, but doesn’t attempt to stop it. I’ll chalk that up to her pragmatism; their ‘sacrifice’ was fine to her as long as she could figure out how Wanda could have done something so unheard of in terms of power.

What we come to learn over the course of the show is that, given everything that happened, Wanda didn’t mean to take over an entire town and tool it into her own personal slice of heaven. She very quickly became aware of it; we know that she knows it’s her own personal bubble as soon as episode three, when she’s confronting Monica about how the latter could possibly know about Ultron. Wanda is made further aware of how much damage this is inflicting on others in episode five, when Vision himself tells her that these people are scared. But still, she has everything handled! It’s okay! The outside world is worse, trust her!

Her handling of the question, ‘where are all the children of Westview,’ is one that bears some thinking - and, y’know, kind of more than a little concern. They’re allowed to walk around as part of the ‘Halloween special,’ but as Vision walks further and further out towards the edges of town where Wanda doesn’t have as much full control, people are just frozen in place, or conducting the same few seconds of action over and over. And fully aware of being trapped.

How are they being sustained? Eating, sleeping? If someone isn’t part of her storyline, is she just locking them down into a coma? What made Wanda decide that keeping the children ‘out of the way’ was somehow kinder than involving them, especially given her later argument that she’s been trying to keep the entire town safe and happy?

The fact of the matter is, she only actually starts to feel remorse for any of this after she’s confronted with the fact that, after weeks of being at her mercy, the townspeople of Westview would rather be dead than endure another moment of having to play nice for her enjoyment. She finally opens the ‘bubble’ to let them out - which leads to the ‘epic’ finale of three different entities trying to take down Wanda and her happy family: the S.W.O.R.D. military led by Hayward, the White Vision, and Agatha.

Winding back to how we got here: after Agatha uses her own trapped resident, Ralph Bohner (who, given his casting and the props in place during the last episode, I’m willing to bet is actually the missing witness protection person Jimmy was looking for) in an attempt to lure out Wanda’s reasoning - and fails - she’s pretty much done pretending. She tricks Wanda into her basement, nullifies her powers, and makes her face her own past to get to the truth of the matter.

Not going to lie, favourite moment of the show. Kathryn Hahn killed Agatha’s slightly-amused-slightly-irritated observations about Wanda’s coping mechanisms, and the whole arrangement was extremely meta. I would have paid real money dollars to see her do the same thing to the likes of Tony, Strange, and Loki. Hell, even just having her meet the rest of the Avengers? Augh. If wishes were fishes.

When Agatha comes to the conclusion that Wanda is the vaunted, nigh-indestructible force of nature that she’s literally spent her entire life reading about is the ultimate source of chaos magic and will likely bring about the end of the world, she’s pretty understandably taken aback. To that matter, the fact that Wanda… has very little control over any of it, and is using what she does understand to play housemaker? After how long Agatha has spent learning control, hiding in plain sight, just to be child’s play compared to what Wanda has at her fingertips? I’d be pretty pissed off, too!

The way that WandaVision handled both of the major ‘fights’ - Vision versus White Vision ending in philosophy, and Wanda ending up beating Agatha at her own game of deception - is excellent. A little grating that they had to go with the beat down angle before they got there, but this is MCU; punches and thrown cars had to get shoved in somewhere. And, given that this series very much played with the idea of grey morality, I was sort of hopeful that Agatha would end up in a not-quite stalemate arrangement with Wanda. She’s not as powerful as the Scarlet Witch, but she has the know-how that Wanda sorely lacks; in recompense for her own deeds, she would be able to teach what she knows while also kind of scheming on her own time.

Y’know, like what they did with rehabilitating Loki?

Except that Wanda, who has just gone through the entire rigamarole of coming to terms with the fact that she trapped thousands of people into a nightmare scenario against their will, rendering them helpless to her mercy… traps Agatha into a nightmare scenario against her will, rendering her helpless to Wanda’s mercy.

That moment actually shook me. Oh, my god. We’re supposed to still look at Wanda as a good guy after this?

This isn’t even covering the incredibly awful confrontation with her and Vision where she tries to gaslight him into believing that everything is A-OK, or the fact that the person she gets most violent with (apart from Agatha) is Monica Rambeau, a black woman who spends most of the show bending over backwards trying to say that what Wanda is doing is understandable, justified, and just needs a gentle touch to be dealt with.

That could be its own document, too - how Monica, much as she’s incredible and definitely looks to be a really exciting addition to the MCU roster, more or less gets used as the Good One to absolve and enable Wanda’s actions. One of her last lines to Wanda, after seeing how the people of Westview (rightfully) look at Wanda like she’s monstrous, is “they’ll never know what you sacrificed.”

Sacrificed what? The fake husband and fake kids she made out of her own compulsion to pretend that everything is okay? None of that would have existed if she’d been given the proper resources to actually cope with how much loss she’s had to deal with. None of that would have existed if she hadn’t caused this problem in the first place.

In the end, Wanda flies off in her fancy new gear before the FBI shows up, avoiding any real consequences to her actions - which has pretty much been the running theme of her character ever since she was introduced to the MCU in Age of Ultron. The worst kind of direct consequence she’s ever gotten was being grounded to her room for a while, then kept in the Raft for, like, maybe a day - and both times, she was broken out post-haste.

Meanwhile, she worsened the issues in Sokovia (which, I will say upfront, was Tony’s fault to begin with), unleashed the Hulk on Johannesburg, got a pretty significant amount of civilians killed as bystanders in Lagos (hey, how come Wanda keeps turning a lot of black people into casualties?), and stood back in Wakanda to let their people try to fight off Thanos from getting to Vision until it was clear that there was no other option than for her to get involved.

Great Power Comes With No Responsibility At All, Actually.

Wanda, in the several years she has maintained her identity as an Avenger, has proven time and time again that she takes on innumerable risks without any full understanding of what they mean, allows others to take on the brunt of the fallout for her, and looks sad until she’s forgiven and moves on to the next problem. She has no business casually throwing around the kind of power that being the Scarlet Witch entails, not until she’s actually made any kind of headway into making reparations for what she’s done and tried, really tried, to get a handle on what she’s capable of.

Which she’s apparently doing in the last post-credits scene, astral reading the literal Book of the Damned on her lonesome in the mountains, but… without anyone to guide her, or give her any kind of boundary?

[I ran out of images I could post, but you know exactly what image I am referring to here]

Agatha Harkness was right. And that should terrify everybody that has to deal with Wanda in the future.

(P.S. Do we know if she actually even killed that dog? We never see her holding anything but a blanket, and characters go in and out of that show all the time. Granted, she wasn’t great with the cicada-turned-bird... hmm.)

Additional Notes:

“Well, you’re a Tony Stan, of course you think Wanda’s a villain”

I like Tony because he’s such an awful mess, and the narrative isn’t exactly kind about telling him what a piece of shit he can be! He reaped a lot of problems, created practically half the villains in the MCU, and ended up dying a martyred hero. Thanks to being the tent pole by which this franchise hoisted itself into a cultural powerhouse, he will always be their golden savior. If you want to read about how he’s the true villain of this entire affair, feel free to look up any number of takedown pieces about him that are out there. He’s a dick. I will never “uwu sad baby who did nothing wrong ever 🥺” him the way people do about Wanda.

“Why are you so pressed about this”

Because something as good in concept as WandaVision could and should have been about anyone other than the whitewashed, antisemitic take on Wanda Maximoff that MCU brought upon us. They put crucifixes on her wall in Civil War, for fuck’s sake!

“Weren’t you mad about them not including Aaron Taylor-Johnson”

At this point, I am almost kind of relieved the real Pietro wasn’t resurrected for this, because god knows they probably would have killed him all over again just to inflict that much more pain on his sister.

“Anything else you’d like to tell us, turbo nerd”

This was literally itching at me all weekend to write, so it’s more or less just to get it off my chest. If you powered your way through it, uh… thanks? Sorry if I yucked your yums, but I tried to be as clear with the disclaimer as I could. 🤷‍♂️

#blah blah #long post #marvel #mcu #wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wandavision critical #anti wanda maximoff

[into-the-afterlife]

Why I Ship Johnny/Female V Part 3: V, and You, and Me

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

I’ve spent a lot of time in this essay series so far focusing on one half of the pairing. Johnny is fascinating, but he’s only one half of the dynamic. So what about V is interesting? Why does she stand out as a character, in the context of this pairing?

Across different ships, I’ve noticed a consistent pattern. There tends to be one character that the fandom focuses in on to thirst over and one that the fandom imagines themselves being. In this ship, the thirst-character tends to be Johnny, while the self-insert character tends to be V. And that’s not surprising, considering that V is essentially our self-insert into the world of Cyberpunk 2077. It’s also worth noting that people who engage in shipping and transformative fandom tend to be predominantly AFAB, myself included, and it makes sense that when writing sexual stories we’d want a self-insert who has our anatomy.

But fans being AFAB doesn’t usually impact what ships are popular. Shipping is infamously dominated by M/M couples who are, ninety percent of the time, cis. Usually, that impulse to self-insert results in an exaggeration of top-bottom dynamics rather than genderswaps or increased focus on M/F couples.

And the thing about V is, she isn’t just a self-insert. In fandoms focused on open-world RPGs, there tends to be some focus on the player character. However, that focus tends to be limited to the Tumblr-ish, transformative end of fandom. One of my other favourite video game fandoms is The Elder Scrolls. There, people avidly draw and discuss their versions of the protagonists on Tumblr and AO3. But on Reddit and Facebook meme pages, the focus is much more on the other characters, the lore, the worldbuilding.

In this fandom, though? I’ve seen more Vs on Reddit than I have on Tumblr. On Reddit, you’re bombarded with beautiful screenshots of V after V. On Tumblr, there’s tons of new names for V, lovingly thought out backstories and more. And when I see V being shipped with Johnny, V is almost always depicted as female, despite there being an option for a male V and despite the norms of shipping favouring a male V.

So it’s clear that female V inspires more affection than most RPG protagonists. Part of that is to do with Cherami Leigh’s voice acting that I covered in Part 1. But I also think there’s a lot in V’s writing that influences things this way.

CD Projekt Red’s writers are known for focusing on character and plot over worldbuilding in their writing. There’s no, ‘I used to be an adventurer like you...’ in their games, no blank-slate hero or awkward, generic background dialogue. Instead, their other protagonist, Geralt, reacts to chasing after goats and weird children and ancient beings as his own person. The world he inhabits is similarly richly drawn, with even the most bland of background guards discussing gimps and birthdays.

There’s also no black-and-white morality. Even in The Witcher games, their fantasy series, the morality leans much closer to Game of Thrones than The Lord of the Rings. This means that their characters are always three-dimensional. Their first true RPG is actually Cyberpunk 2077. Oh, sure, they’ve done games with rich worlds and lots of sidequests, with skill-trees and moral options, but they’ve always had an authored character, with his own slants and biases. Even when Geralt picks the moral option, he’s likely to be cynical about it, and he always leans towards being a grizzled libertarian who’s Done With This Shit at heart.

Despite their provision of a relatively blank-slate character in this game, this influence lingers on in Cyberpunk 2077. One of the big critiques of the game at launch was that the much-hyped lifepath system felt clunky and didn’t have much of an influence on later gameplay. It’s true that the backstory sacrifices some smoothness of plot and introduction to the world.

But what it gets rid of in those aspects, it makes up for in characterisation. No matter what path you choose, V is never an anonymous prisoner, a mysterious courier or a long-forgotten colonist. She has a clearly defined context, and real roots in the world around her. Even after you move past the prologue, V has the network of people around her you’d expect for someone already embedded in the world. After you’re shot, you don’t just go to some random ripperdoc; you go to Vik, her regular ripperdoc and friend. You don’t get the tarot sidequest from reading an anonymous shard; you get it from Misty. Jackie dating Misty suggests that he introduced V to Misty and Vik. V getting to know them through Jackie feels natural, and just like the kinds of close communal networks that spring up in large cities. Meanwhile, the unique dialogue options for each lifepath keep reminding you that V had a life before you met her.

And that’s true even for the other dialogue options. Here’s a minor, early-game set of dialogue choices from Cyberpunk 2077:

And here’s a similarly minor, early-game set of dialogue choices from a recent RPG that shares a lot of tonal and thematic similarities with Cyberpunk – The Outer Worlds:

Notice the difference in attitudes allowed by each set of dialogue options. The player character of The Outer Worlds has the opportunity to respond compassionately, snarkily or lie for their own advantage. Deception is specifically highlighted and controlled by a skill tree, and each dialogue choice has its own tone and flavour. Meanwhile, all of V’s dialogue choices can be interpreted as some kind of attempt at deception. They’re also all written in the same voice. While The Outer Worlds offers matter-of-fact kindness, brevity and colourful imagery, V’s dialogue choices all share sentence fragments, spunkiness, bluntness and emotional volatility. No matter what choices you make, V’s attitude and voice always stays the same.

The way dialogue choices are controlled is also worth examining. There seem to be more choices on the surface in Cyberpunk, but a full half of them are controlled by skill trees. Level V up differently to this YouTuber, and they may not even be available. The skills themselves also betray a lack of choice here. While speech is split into five different skills in The Outer Worlds, and the skill used here is directly named ‘Lie’, in Cyberpunk 2077 the skills are simply named ‘Reflexes’ and ‘Cool’. That’s partially due to differences in RPG mechanics, which is beyond the scope of this essay. But look at the names themselves. While The Outer Worlds singles out deception, and bluntly names it for what it is, Cyberpunk 2077 frames quick thinking and bluffing as simply part of the reactions and social attitudes required to survive in Night City. Even the very names of the game mechanics are coloured by V’s attitudes.

While V’s status as an independent character is coloured by CD Projekt Red’s previous experience, it’s definitely not an accident. They had an entire trailer dedicated to answering the question of who V is. For the question of whether V keeps her own personality to be compelling, V has to have a personality in the first place. And in the Temperance ending, the emotional impact of seeing V as an NPC in cyberspace, as well as the final, long shot of V’s face on the bus, depends on you having built up a relationship with her as a separate character. She’s a fascinating mix of self-insert and defined character, and purely from a writing perspective, breaks a lot of new ground for RPG protagonists.

But back to the subject at hand: shipping. She’s just self-insert enough for you to imagine yourself as part of a heightened reality, as someone blisteringly witty, quick-thinking and intelligent. And feeling competent and confident, whether in the real world or in-game, brings you back into your body and makes you feel confident enough to pursue what brings you pleasure. But V’s also just enough of her own person that you can care for her and want her to be happy. That combination of affection and wish fulfilment is what the best ships are made of.

Another huge part of V’s popularity in the Cyberpunk fandom comes from the way gender, or the lack of it, interacts with her characterisation. Of course, you can make her look and dress however you want; that’s one of the beautiful things about RPG protagonists. But her lines and interactions with other characters, thanks to them having to be voiced by male V as well, are refreshingly gender-neutral. To understand this further, let’s take a look at some concrete examples.

Cyberpunk 2077, particularly during the prologue and Act 1, takes a lot of inspiration from Grand Theft Auto. Fast cars, exciting crimes, the obligatory strippers and prostitutes; they’re all there.

These kinds of gritty, sexualised game worlds have attracted criticism from feminist media analysts for normalising violence against women and normalising extreme violence as the default and desirable way of responding to the world. What I think about these takes would take its own essay to get into. But the part of these critiques I do agree with is this. By having protagonists in these worlds always be hypermasculine cis male protagonists, and by having victims of crimes and sexualised characters always be cis women, these worlds repeatedly and unnecessarily sideline anyone who’s not a cis man from imagining themselves having power and agency.

However, where Cyberpunk 2077 differentiates itself from other examples of these game worlds is its lack of gendered differentiation for its protagonist. Ninety-nine percent of the time throughout the game, male and female V voice exactly the same lines. This means that if you choose to play as female V, female V is characterised exactly the same way as male V.

Let’s take a look at some concrete examples of this. The biggest is V’s relationship with Jackie. It’s rarely that you see a male-female friendship that stays as platonic as this one does in media, and I welcome it. The quest called ‘The Ripperdoc’ demonstrates this, in the conversation when Jackie and V drive to see Vik:

Jackie [with relish]: ...I got a date - me and Misty.

V: You don’t say...

Jackie [confidentially]: She’s soooo sweet. Really gets me, y’know?

Jackie describes his relationship with Misty in respectful terms, and isn’t afraid to detail the emotional aspects of his and Misty’s connection. But he doesn’t hold back on the macho bragging either. In these lines, and especially in the pleased, suggestive tone of the first line, it’s clear he’s proud to be the kind of guy who could date someone like Misty. The presence of both of these attitudes together shows that Jackie both trusts V and considers V a part of his traditional-masculinity-valuing world. It’s less ‘not like other girls’ and more ‘not like other mercs’.

Similarly, while V’s first interactions with Johnny do draw from highly gendered relationship dynamics, the actual content of V’s responses undercut any feminising this would give her. Here’s one exchange from ‘Playing For Time’:

Johnny: The fuck kinda joytoy are you supposed to be?

V: Fuckin’ ghost off!

Johnny calls V a whore. Before and after, he physically hurts her in ways that, in my opinion, have a highly sexual undertone. But the crucial bit is how V responds here. She neither responds in a helpless, damsel-in-distress sort of way, nor in a defiant, sassy heroine way, where she might take the gendered insults and own them or prove them wrong via physical prowess. In fact, she doesn’t react to the gendered aspect of Johnny’s comment at all. Where a game with a Strong Female Character (TM) would use gendered jabs to refocus attention on said character, Cyberpunk blows them off to focus on the reality of this particular character’s situation.

Outside of V’s closest relationships, this gender neutrality can also be seen in the wider world of Night City. Dexter DeShawn is one of the most tropey, Grand Theft Auto-esque characters you meet in the game. As such, he’s one of the best barometers for how gender interacts with the ‘usual’ state of the world. And how does he react to a female V?

The answer is, not at all. He addresses her as ‘Ms V’, but that comes across as less about her and more about him being high up enough in the world that he can afford affectations. Her gender simply isn’t relevant. While this is increasingly common in pop culture, it’s still rare in worldbuilding like this, where gender is all too frequently used as a lens through which to explore violent, chaotic worlds. In a type of world and tone where gender roles are traditionally emphasised , V slips past those roles and is allowed to exist beyond them.

But why does gender neutrality make V more appealing to ship? To answer that fully, it needs to be combined with my next point.

V is also compelling to ship because her characterisation gives a safe platform from which to imagine her being vulnerable. What I mean by that is this. The main aspect of V’s characterisation in canon is her status as a merc. How you experience her life, through gameplay and through the situations she gets into, is through her skills at hacking, sneaking and killing. You don’t just witness her competence, daring and toughness; you share in it.

When writing fiction that focuses on romantic relationships, one of the toughest balances to get right is that of competency and vulnerability. Any good romantic arc involves watching a character’s barriers come down, seeing how they react to the other person when they lay aside their protective pretences. But this can’t happen too soon, or too much, for either the protagonist or the love interest. Competency and assuredness are huge parts of what makes someone attractive, and they’re also huge parts of feeling like you can come out and play, sexually speaking. Even for the biggest submissive on the planet, the submission has to be a deliberate choice to be hot.

Taken together, V’s canonical characterisation and the possibilities and conventions of fandom provide the perfect balance of those two qualities. Canon makes it clear that V is capable and strong. When you or I imagine our Vs with Johnny, that buildup of ‘competence capital’ makes it feel safe enough to imagine V vulnerable.

And that safety is vital when shipping any character with a character like Johnny. This is where the gender neutrality I talked about earlier comes into play. Imagining V vulnerable feels safe. So does imagining V in a dynamic with a guy who’s a tropey bad boy. Because V is written in such a gender-neutral way, it lets the player enjoy all the deliciously dangerous aspects of her relationship with Johnny without the distractions that may come from feeling disempowered. It also refreshes all the clichés of Dangerous Guys, making their impact feel fresh and new again. Her ability to walk the line between wish fulfilment and independent characterisation inspires simultaneous identification with her, affection for her and boosts in confidence for the player.

This is why she’s compelling to ship. Johnny brings in the familiar emotional arcs of classic tropes, while V makes them new. So what happens when you put these two characters together? Just what about the way they bounce off each other has inspired the majority of fic and art in this fandom?

That’s what I’ll talk about next time.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk spoilers #cyberpunk game #cyberpunk v #v #female v #johnny silverhand #essays #meta #analysis #long post #my writing #video games #gaming #cyberpunkgame #cd projekt red #v/johnny #johnny/v #v x johnny #johnny x v #silverv #jackie welles

[anthonycrowley]

this is a genuine question, but if the spnhater blog was part of a sociology project would it even be ethical to use the data gathered from it?

okay, i do actually feel qualified to answer this, because i was actually a soc major in college (and i would like to maybe eventually get my phd, although admittedly right now i am working a 9 to 5 where i don't really use that part of my degree) just please note that while i have done a couple of (minor) qualitative studies, i was always more into quantitative research, which doesn't have the same issues with consent that qualitative does.

would it be ethical? short answer: maybe. depends on what they were planning to do with it, mainly, and how the data was presented, and, depending on how long the 'study' goes on for, if you continue to keep your identity a secret.

long answer: i think the real question is whether or not the data would even be usable for sociology, actually.

for the couple of qualitative observations i've done, i find that consent can get a bit. murky. and when you think about it, it makes sense, and i don't think it's even really unethical - sometimes, sociological observations take place in big, open, public spaces. i've done an observation in a public park, once. two problems arise from this: 1. how could a researcher possibly get informed consent from every single person who happens to be in a public space, every time, and 2. if they did, that would inevitably change how people acted, rendering data useless. you want to see how people act in a situation. think about how you act when you know someone is watching you compared to when you're just doing whatever. it changes, right? in a discipline where you are studying a group and how they behave naturally, this knowledge will likely skew how people behave. you should get consent, when you can, but that's simply not always possible.

the main aspect of consent in sociology when it comes to observational studies is more geared toward anonymity of participants, to the point where someone cannot identify them later, and not outright lying about who you are. (informed consent comes more into play once you've already gotten some of your observational data and perhaps start interviewing people in the group you're observing - at that point you have to identify yourself as a researcher, say what the study is on, talk about how their identity will not be revealed, etc. and actually get consent from the participant). if you're doing a long term ethnographical study, yes, you will probably have to tell residents of the area why you're there - if i wasn't joking about observing people since november 5th, for example, that probably would have been an ethical dilemma in terms of, maybe, people i was following directly, because i would have gotten A Lot Of Data from people who didn't consent or know they were being observed, but if i went to my local grocery store and observed the meat counter for an hour, taking down notes about how people spoke and how they acted, i probably would need permission from the business, but not necessarily the individual people as long as i didn't identify them in any way that could be traced back to them.

the best way i can think of to explain what makes for problems in consent in observational data for sociology is a book from the 1960s called Tearoom Trade by Laud Humphreys, which if you're interested in knowing more about the modern day ethics of sociological research, is basically a manual on what not to do. Humphreys wanted to do research into 'tearooms,' which at the time were a slang term for men's bathrooms where men would meet up and have homosexual sex. problem number one with this is that, well, at the time he was married to a woman and was by all accounts heterosexual*, so he didn't actually have a way to get into these spaces to study participants. what he did was presented himself as a voyeur, so he was allowed entry, and would then observe how these men acted around each other.** that isn't really the main issue with the study though - the real ethical problem came later, because Humphreys would, under false pretenses, interview participants, and he would then record the participants' license plate numbers, find their home addresses, and interview their family members. i hope i don't have to explain to you why that's wrong for like, a bunch of reasons. but his actual observations weren't the problem in and of itself - it was the deception of who he was and the complete disregard of privacy for participants, whether they were a large part of the study conducted by Humphreys (ie a participant who was interviewed) or not.

anyway, circling back. really, the main way that blog (or frankly, any sociological researcher), would be breaching ethics when it comes to observing the tumblr community as a group is if they identified specific people, either through urls or through content. i would argue it may not be wise to directly quote a post, because google exists and the text will be online, but i think as long as you sit back, watch, and discuss what happens around you, you're good, at least until you get to the interview stage. maybe you could argue that if the blog was active for more than like, a couple of hours, they may have needed to get consent of people they were following, but other than that i think the observation aspect is pretty above board. the biggest ethical problem with that blog is more that the blog was deceptive in who they were, which is a problem, but hell, it's a public platform and who's to say the person running the blog doesn't enjoy supernatural? that they're a supernatural blog? i joked about how i was observing supernatural fans since november 5th, and i do enjoy supernatural. if it just went that far, if i just started a separate blog and just. observed for a short period of time, maybe reblogged a few gifsets so people didn't think i was a bot. would that be unethical? i'm not completely sure one way or another.

but i would argue that, if that blog actually were for a sociological study, even if we could determine it was 100% by the books ethical, the data gathered would be completely fucking useless - and for that matter, if i was telling the truth about studying people, that data would probably be largely useless as well. the reason is because both that blog and me actually impacted the community we were quote unquote researching. the blog is now a variable. obviously there is more than one blog, but would those specific people have said those specific things if that specific researcher wasn't there? in general, sociological studies don't have varibles in the same way as psych studies or scientific studies or whatever, because we're studying a group, not the effect a researcher has on a group by doing something the group would not otherwise have done. it's bad research. now, if someone not running the blog observed that, it would probably be fine, but that wasn't the implication. it would be like me sitting in a park and happening to witness a fistfight break out, rather than me doing something to cause the fistfight.

anyway, if it wasn't clear the person who runs that blog (who is not me) is not actually a researcher, and neither am i, currently. but if we were, we probably would have had to be a bit more sound, morally, but there are ways you can get data from an event like that without it being unethical if you don't get informed consent from everyone involved - but you probably would have to be very lucky when it comes to timing. but the person running the blog or their friend certainly could not be the people doing that research. hope that kind of answers the question, if people disagree feel free to discuss.

*this is worded as such because wikipedia just told me, interestingly, Humphreys came out as a gay man in the mid 70s , separated from his wife, and had a male partner from 1980 until his death in 1988. he actually later did a lot of research into gay communities - presumably now from the perspective of a gay man - but, frankly, i think his lasting impact in sociology is still unfortunately on ethics and protecting research participants.

**i suppose it's worth noting, probably because of the above asterisk, that i had heard (yes, before i had heard he came out as gay) that there are theories that the voyeur thing was a front and he was participating to gain entry into these spaces, which he obviously didn't want to disclose, because it was the 1960s and he was married. i only bring this up because, if this were the case, i'd argue that at least the deception to gain entry into the space is no longer really an ethical issue, although the study is still obviously riddled with problems.

#this is a novel also #tw homophobia discussion #kind of tearoom trade sure is A Book #fandom:spn

[justalitlecreacher]

Ok as much as I hate the events of the Rako Hardeen arc in Clone Wars and deeply wish that the council/Obi-Wan had at the very least told Anakin and Ahsoka what they were planning, I feel like the arc represents a very important turning point in Anakin’s fall and actually shows an important bit of character growth from Attack of the Clones.

Tl;Dr: The Rako Hardeen arc is my favorite and least favorite arc in all of Clone Wars because while it puts Anakin through unnecessary pain it also gives a lot of insight into why he may have fallen in Revenge of the Sith and shows some important character growth

Ok; the most important part of this post/analysis (I think) is to remember how close Anakin and Obi-Wan are. Anakin was placed in Obi-Wan’s care at the age of 9 and from then on Obi-Wan practically raised him. In Attack of the Clones we see Anakin refer to Obi-Wan as the closest thing he has to a father not once, but twice, and one of those two times was directly to Obi-Wan.”OBI-WAN:  Why do I think you are going to be the death of me?! ANAKIN:  Don't say that Master... You're the closest thing I have to a father... I love you. I don't want to cause you pain.”(Attack of the Clones) and later to Padmé “...He's [Obi-Wan] like my father,...”. This is especially important because when Anakin leaves his mother to become a Jedi in The Phantom Menace, Obi-Wan is literally the only friendly/familiar face in the Temple. Plus in the comics (disclaimer: I have not read all the comics just bits and pieces) we get a glimpse of Anakin training with the other padawans and it’s made clear that at least some of them don’t like Anakin at all. One padawan even refers to him as “just a slave” when shit talking him during training.(which like super fucked up; they def should’ve gotten in trouble cause that don’t seem very Jedi of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Anyway; we’ve established Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond. So let’s turn our attention towards someone who deserved so much better; Shmi Skywalker. Her death in Attack of the Clones was the first major turning point in Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side. There is really no excuse for Anakin’s actions after Shmi’s death; he goes to a very dark place, and likely taps into the dark side of the force during the massacre of the Tusken Raiders. But that’s not what we’re talking about rn so back on track.

I bring Shmi’s death up to say that while Anakin was tracking down Obi-Wan’s “murderer” I didn’t fully realize that Obi-Wan had disguised himself as Hardeen and I was genuinely worried that Anakin was about to unalive an innocent man. I really believe that the only thing that stopped Anakin from trying (and maybe succeeding) to kill Obi/Rako was like he said: he knew that Obi-Wan wouldn’t have wanted him to. This is important because the last time Anakin lost a family member he brutally murdered an entire village of Tusken Raiders, children included, and I think it’s safe to say that Shmi “the biggest problem in the universe is nobody helps each other” Skywalker would not have wanted that. I’ve finally arrived at one of my main points; this arc shows a crucial bit of character growth by showing an Anakin that is capable of thinking his actions through and not just reacting out of anger even after the loss of one of the most important people in his life; something he was previously shown incapable of when his anger and grief blind him. This turns this arc into an sort of midway point on Anakin’s fall; he’s clearly tempted to give into his anger and pain again, but he is able to resist this time. A younger Anakin may have killed “Hardeen” then and there. 

This scene really contrasts with Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith in a way im not sure how i feel about yet. On one hand it has potential to make Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith feel too out of character. We just saw Anakin able to see past his own emotions in the wake of the death of a loved one so what makes this different? On the other hand this arc can be used to show just how desperate Anakin is to not have to feel that way ever again. It’s also good for showing how much influence Palpatine has had on Anakin in the space between this arc and Revenge of the Sith. As for why Anakin may be unable to think past his own feelings in Revenge of the Sith when he appeared perfectly capable in the arc, a likely reason is that there really wasn't anything Anakin thought he could do for Obi-Wan anymore because he believed him to be dead, but with Padmé, Anakin knew she could be saved if he could just get her the proper care. But his fear of being exiled from the Jedi Order, and his increasing lack of faith in the council led him to believe that he had no choice other than to trust in Palpatine. And no hate to Yoda but im sure when Anakin did try to reach out (even as vaguely as he did) Yoda’s response of “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” didn't appear to be very helpful (especially considering that he is well aware that listening to Ahsoka’s visions and responding appropriately saved Padmé’s life (not sure if Anakin knows about that though)). These three episodes show pretty well how/why Anakin may have felt that he had nowhere to turn but Palpatine.

These groups of episodes actually show negative character growth (is that the right term?) in Anakin. He goes from commiting mass murder rated E for everyone to understanding that his loved ones would not want him to seek revenge in this way, but then he backslides into this lightsaber is rated E for everyone by Revenge of the Sith. Logically he should know that Padmé would never have wanted him to do what he did; he has to know what he’s doing is wrong, but he’s incapable of seeing another way out because he cannot handle even the thought of losing Padmé. He’s too desperate to not lose her, and so sure that there’s no other option that he manages to convince himself that he needs to do this for her. I find this entire arc really interesting but unless i want to be here all day the most i can do here is point out that it exists and that it peaks in the Rako Hardeen arc. Surprisingly i do have a life outside of writing long posts, and i lack the time and energy to analyze all of Clone Wars and write about every event that led to Darth Vader (there are so many). On top of that i actually haven’t seen all of Clone Wars; just the episodes most important to understanding Anakin’s fall.

Onto my next point, we just talked about the growth Anakin showed in this episode; now onto why i believe that this arc was instrumental in Anakin’s fall. (Disclaimer: I do not think that removing this arc alone could have saved Anakin, but i do believe it would have helped a good bit). I’ve already touched on Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond so im not gonna do that again. 

Ive said it before and i will say it again; it was super fucked up of Obi-Wan and everyone else on the Council to use Anakin’s (and Ahsoka’s) reactions Obi-Wan’s “death” for their own gain. It was super manipulative and they absolutely knew what they were doing.  Obi-Wan even explicitly says, “Keeping Anakin on the outside was critical. Everyone knows how close we are. It was his reaction that sold the sniper. I'm sure of it.”(Deception season 2 episode 15). He knows just how devastated Anakin would be by his death, and he uses like Anakin and his mental and emotional well-being mean nothing to him (I know this isn’t true but its probably not hard to believe that someone doesn't care about your feelings when they’ve just tricked you into thinking they’ve died for their own gain). The Council really proves time and time again that they do not care about Anakin’s (or maybe anyone’s; Anakin was far from the only one close to Obi-Wan left unaware of his deception) mental or emotional wellbeing, but tbh i think this is the worst example of how callous the Council can be. And on top of all of that it was Obi-Wan who decided to keep Anakin in the dark Obi-Wan who should have known better; if we assume that Anakin is at least 20 in Clone Wars; Obi-Wan has known Anakin for at least 10 years, and has practically raised him from the age of 9, and yet somehow, somehow he had this idea and didn't see a single thing wrong with it. (And they really picked the worst possible person for this; like yea let’s trick the most unstable Jedi we have into thinking his closest friend/ father figure was murdered)

This arc’s main purpose (IMO) is to really show the beginnings of Anakin losing faith in the Jedi and putting more and more faith in Palpatine. Anakin trusted Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan betrayed that trust. Beyond that Palpatine is able to make Anakin begin to doubt how much the Council is telling him if they didnt tell him something as crucial as this. We even see Anakin parroting Palpatine’s “concerns” of the council not telling Anakin the full truth the Obi-Wan and the end of the arc. This arc is instrumental is establishing Anakin’s loss of faith in the council and shows how much he trusts Palpatine and sees him as a real friend.

Anyway I’m sure I had more I wanted to touch onand if I remember I will definitely edit this post but for the now I just wanna say. A) I love Obi-Wan a lot; this arc just really was not it. I do not understand how he thought this was in any way acceptable but I do still really like him. B) i fully understand that Anakin’s actions are his own and he does take a share of the blame for his own fall.

#what am i doing? #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #rako hardeen #star wars #clone wars #deception arc #clone wars deception #long post #ramble #im so sorry except im not #i hesitate to use the word hyperfixation but not a day has gone by that i havent thougt of Anakin Skywalker at least once #in so long #i have a problem

[mercurytrinemoon]

Wow, did anyone ever (well I'm sure someone did) looked at the synastry chart between Britney and Justin??? I'm a huge Brit fan since childhood but I've checked their charts only recently and I am... astonished. 

Ok so she's a Sagittarius Sun, Aquarius Moon and JT is Aqua Sun, Sag Moon - so they have a double whammy - and not only that but her Moon is exactly conjunct his Sun and South Node (past life connection, anyone?). They both have Capricorn Venuses that are also, surprise, surprise, conjunct with her South Node. I know there's no perfect synastry but something like this is to die for tbh. There's also an exact Moon-Neptune conjunction that he has natally.

Sun in the same sign as Moon, or better yet, conjunct, brings understanding on a deep level. It's the yin-yang aspect; the masculine and the feminine. It's VERY harmonious and complementary. It's when the emotional nature of one person is supported by the ego of the other. Also, the Sun person has a big influence on the Moon person. Idk if any of you remember the times when Britney and Justin were a couple, but they really embodied that energy. They were super supportive of each other and just overall a sweet couple with a strong friendship. Venus conjunctions are very self-explanatory, I think: they looked for the same things in a relationship, valued and liked the same things, which probably helped them considering they are both artists.

I see a lot of Jupiter and Venus action going on in their synastry chart, which explains a lot. A very loving and joyful connection. There's even a square between these two planets, which I always say is "too much of a good thing" (because two benefics forming a square can't really do that much harm). There's a very tight Jupiter/Saturn (Justin has both planets conjunct) sextile to her Sun and trine her Moon. Very supportive. I love flowing aspects between Jupiter and Sun cause they just scream "I'm your biggest fan!".  And then there's her Sun trining his Saturn. Binding while it lasted. I find that funny cause people are always like "you need Saturn for longevity blah blah" but...? Certainly didn't work for them???

There are obviously all the "hot sexy aspects": Venus trine Mars, Moon square Mars, Mars trine Pluto. AND there's also Pluto square Venus double whammy. Now, they both have it natally but one of them is EXACT and I mean 0°00’. Wow. I never really pay that much attention to aspects involving generational planets in synastry because obviously you'll have that same aspect with the entire age group but when it's that exact, it has to be significant.

Their house overlays don't look that interesting from the "cliched" point of view (aka the "5th, 7th and 8th house need to be activated in a romantic relationship" crap). They basically activate each other's houses from 1st to 6th. Britney's Venus and South Node are (barely) in his 5th house and his Sun, South Node, Mars and Mercury are in hers. Not much aspects to 5th house rulers tho. Her 7th house ruler (Mars) is receiving aspects from his Moon, Venus and Neptune. I remember that  they tried to make their relationship as private as posibble, so maybe that explains why they have nothing going on above the horizon of the charts.   Also, her planets are heavily aspecting his 4th house. He made her feel at home. She has this one song on her (amazing) 3rd album and the lyrics go "my heart, it feels so safe" - I believe I read once that the song was written about Justin. This is the 4th house overlay, she felt at home with him. So, DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE 4TH HOUSE IN SYNASTRY, I AM TELLING YOU.

I noticed that in synastry you can't just look at aspects. You gotta do it the ancient way and look if personal planets are compatibile/in the same elements/sister signs/whatever. So I already mentioned the receptive Sun-Moon thing (her Sun is in the same sign as his Moon and vice-versa). So let's look at the rest. Venuses: conjunct in Cap. Mercuries: square by sign (but also depending on the orb you use, they make a 5 degree aspect) - but it's okay, you need squares to bring some dynamic. And some would say Mercury squares are bad cause people can't communicate and have different ways of thinking and maybe that was true for them to some extent but they are also both singers, Mercury is important in their chart and yet not only they had a long, great relationship but they also collaborated on music a lot. Mars: now the Mars situation is interesting cause theirs are quincunx by sign (Aquarius-Virgo). BUT the Capricorn Venus saves the day, it actually forms a trine to her Virgo Mars - but even if it didn’t, it’s the same earthy energy so it's compatible. His Aqua Mars, on the other hand, is in the same sign as her Moon (even if 15 degrees apart). All cool. 

Now what did probably produce some trouble were these hard Neptune and Pluto aspects. Remember Neptune brings deceptions and illusions and Pluto is manipulative, obsessive and just straight up messed up when in squares. Her Sag ass was like "I'm gonna sleep with Wade Robson (and few others probably), that seems FUN" and his Aqua Sun was like "I gave my heart to you-" (Aquas don't do that often) "-and you broke it so I'm leaving, whatever, bye bitch" *aloofness activates* *goes partying Sag Moon style*. I think around that time Pluto was transiting her Sun and Neptune was somewhere around their Sun/Moon conjunction in Aquarius so maybe that was a catalyst to their breakup.

But overall, great synastry imho.

#btw it's so weird that his sun natally is in 6th house #conjunct south node #like idk that seems so off for someone like JT #he just doesn't seem like someone with nodes on the 6th-12th house axis #well whatever #britney spears #justin timberlake #synastry #celebrity chart #synastry chart #astrology #zodiac #mercurytrinemoon #overlays #house overlays #astro chart

[mailorderfictionalcharacter]

to love & be loved

@startreksecretsanta and @spinifex-ao3, I present my humble gift for the 2020 Secret Santa Exchange. 

to love & be loved is a Raffi-centric short fic. It can be read on AO3 here, or below the cut. 

There was this thing Raffi's therapist recommended. She said that we tend to view mental ailments as a result of a singular issue, when that was not the case. This isn't unique to the so-called mental conditions; physical ailments are always the result of multiple convergent factors, many of them largely outside of our control. Whether you break a bone running down a corridor depends on the gravity levels, the angle, your physical ability to catch yourself (or not), your species' biological attributes, and so on. But because the bone is easier to fix, we don't place as much value on all these could-have-happeneds.

So her therapist recommended that she looks at her alcoholism, even at the collapse of her family, and traces its lineage. To assemble the history in whatever way she preferred; a narrative, an artwork, a quasi-scientific graph, a mission report. Raffi tried and failed.

She ended up with a start chart of the Milky way, no, too big, zooming into a few classic earth constellations. She grabbed her stylus and pulled it across the screen, trying to connect disparate factors.

Childhood??? --- > my son --- > my husband left me

kicked out of starfleet --- > Starfleet = War?

Starfleet = JL? -- > betrayal?

She couldn't talk about any of it. She brought in a star chart with a handful of annotations explaining her biggest failures and regrets. She could barely explain why she wrote them down without crying, her hand itching for the phantom weight of a glass, even filled with water. So mapping the lineage of her alcoholism & her life became their goal. The implication being that you cannot fight a monster you cannot name.

***

Raffi's therapist was an Andorian woman with deep blue skin, almost an indigo tone. She was tall and friendly in a way that was sometimes clean and professional and sometimes cute and childish. On Earth, she took the name of Julia for some of her clients. Her actual name was J''ul/sth, but more humans were able to pronounce the vowels in Julia, so Julia it is. Julia was a fiercely intellectual woman and would cater her services to different conceptions of what it means to be mentally unwell. She was familiar with centuries of earth, Betazoid, and Andorian theories of mental illness, many of which weren't even addressed within the medical model preferred by Starfleet. Even in her darkest hours, Raffi could barely think a negative thought about Julia; her competence, her expertise was... illuminating.

For someone who had been judged by her own spouse as incapable, for someone who struggled to take care of her hair or to sweep a floor, it was intoxicating to have this brilliant woman focused solely on her for an hour each week. Julia never condescended. She had this assured confidence that Raffi was an interesting person, still worth talking to. It was the sort of thing that could give you hope, if you let yourself believe. It was also the sort of thing Raffi fucked up.

***

Julia was not a believer in abstinence from alcohol as the definition as sobriety. She pointed to it as an outdated Earth concept that had far too long of a shelf life for the evidence behind it. She encouraged Raffi to define her own boundaries about what substance use or lack thereof meant. And Raffi remembered when she could go to a bar for the music and the sensory experience of one or three Saurian brandies without the all consuming urge, twisting under her skin, telling her to escape from her life. And that was their goal. But Raffi didn't tell Julia which bar. She went to a local bar, one that straddled the line between bar and pub and played live music, an eclectic mix of whoever was willing to play for cheap, across genres, cultures, and species. Tonight was a young human teen, not a singer. They were remixing Vulcan instrumental music, very peaceful and precise, with bright and happy sounds. It was almost gauche, the way the emotions would intercut through the melodies. The sort of thing that art and music journals would comment on, asking if it was subversion or a childish rebellion, a blending of cultures or a mocking. The sort of thing that goes good with brandy.

And it was good. It was good for an hour, slowly nursing two drinks. It was good until she saw her, walking in kind of tipsy, skin flushed a warm blue. Surrounded by friends, bar hopping. On a youthful adventure. She felt ashamed, in that moment. That this woman half her age was supposed to be giving her advice, pretending to listen to her problems. That she could never be one of those friends, all so young, with a world to explore.

When Julia caught her eye, she walked over to say hello. And when Julia's friends asked her who she was, Raffi called herself a friend; not a client, not a patient. She doesn't know what it says that Julia didn't correct her; probably that outing a client was a breach of professional ethics. Raffi has more brandy, to wash away the deception, the feeling of herself as lecherous and pathetic and weak.

Raffi wakes up in an unfamiliar bed, entangled in long blue limbs. For a moment, this brings her happiness. The idea that she was wanted, that the woman who knew so much about her made love to her.

It was only for a moment.

She shifted out of the bed, cautiously. She left to the sound of gentle snoring and the feeling of breeze and slick on her public hair.

She didn't go back to therapy, after that.

--

She met Benjamin Sisko, Emissary to the Prophets and legendary war hero, at a Starfleet Intelligence conference. It was near the end of her career; there wasn't much longer she could hold onto the idea of the person she used to be, of whatever Starfleet begged from her. There were always threats on the horizon and she had become numb to it all. But Sisko interested her.

In a way, his life was quite possibly her worst nightmare. The idea of being essentially forced into a religion because, by the way, you are now an important figure in our religion and its impact on interstellar politics... what a nightmare. That wasn't mentioning being pulled out of linear time by powerful aliens worshipped as gods. At least -

At least when Q had showed up that one time, JL and him had a bit of a rapport.

But he didn't seem unhappy. She was used to seeing the haunted faces at conferences, as people who were raised in peace and sent out to explore ended up soldiers for war. Starfleet Intelligence was different, it attracted a more cynical bunch. The sort who wouldn't show it. But Sisko seemed... happy. He didn't look like a man who was kidnapped in order to appease powerful beings, or even someone straining under a PR lie. He looked like he had transcended beyond it all. And yeah, she wanted a piece of that.

But she couldn't ask for it. It was a crazy request. It was her imprinting her desires and pains onto a stranger's life.

It surprised her, after the conference, when he approached her and asked if she knew any Bajorans.

“Just the one.” Something in her felt compelled to add, “he wasn't religious.”

“So I'll be the first one to surprise you like this.”

And he grabbed her by the ear, what the shit, and said, in a low voice. “Your pagh is strong.”

***

After Agnes Jurati confessed to murdering a man, on their ship, the scientist had cried, and asked her, “Why are you still being so nice to me?” There were a lot of answers Raffi did not give. She did not say that she had a son and a husband who wouldn't let her love them and her desire to care for someone was apparently stronger than the realization that they were a semi-brainwashed murderer. She did not say that at this point, she didn't feel like she could judge anyone, morally speaking. Or that maybe this was pragmatism, keeping your friends close and your potential enemies closer. Or that at the very least, there wasn't much she could do to fuck up Agnes' life anymore, which is a marked improvement from the rest of her relationships.

Instead, she let herself feel soft. “Because, sometimes we make mistakes. And even if we can't fix them, I think we should still let ourselves love and be loved.”

#raffi musiker #alcoholism

[deans-haunted-baby]

Why I don’t think Michael will side with Chuck in the End

I know there’s theories floating around that Michael may have been deceiving the Winchesters in 15x08. Its true we have no idea what his agenda is or if he’s that interested in playing nice with TFW. They did trap him in Hell with their half brother for a long time so he’s not exactly warm & fuzzy about that. However this isn’t the psychotic, sinister version of Michael from the alternate universe nor is he the same steel cold obedient soldier back in 5x22. He’s changed massively. There’s more humanity in him now than he’d like to admit. In spite of what we’ve seen from Michael in the past, I don’t think he’s interested in harming Sam and Dean, at least not currently. And I just can’t see him running to Chuck, not after receiving all that alarming information. So I'm going to present the following reasons for why he probably won’t turn on the boys. Number 1 being the most important. Adam Milligan.

For however it happened the archangel bonded with a human. The formally resurrected 19 yr old illegitimate son of John Winchester. All those years spent in the cage these two managed to forge an understanding between one another; an unusual strong connection. They're friends and allies. Michael listens to and respects Adam’s opinions even if he doesn’t always agree. Allows him freedom to control his own body. And despite being the ruthless warrior that he still is, Michael’s been shown to be much more merciful, patient and compassionate compared to when the boys last faced him. Because of his relationship with Adam, Michael’s developed a newfound appreciation for humanity similar to his aunt Amara aka the Darkness. He truly cares about Adam and protects him. Like at the diner when he smote Lilith for posing a threat. Then instead of killing the witnesses in front of Adam, Michael chooses to spare their lives by erasing their memories. He even defended Adam to the Winchesters further demonstrating that he does consider his feelings. That’s beyond the person he was when he told Dean “Adam isn’t home right now” all those years ago.

So I have no doubt Michael will do what ever means necessary to keep Adam safe from Chuck, who is hell bent on destroying the world which Adam is part of. Even if that means siding with some old enemies to take him down so be it. As the old saying goes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. Of course that doesn’t mean Adam shares any love for Sam and Dean. Hell no. He made that pretty clear at the diner. He has every reason and right to hate them after ten years of failure to save him from Hell. Every reason to make them suffer. Adam deserves to be pissed at the Winchesters and the world for doing him dirty like that. But...for better or worse, Sam and Dean are still his brothers. Its for that reason and that reason alone that I don’t see Michael threatening to go after them later. He knows Adam wouldn’t want that unless (he really is a scheming crazy person deep inside) Michael’s friendship with him is just smoke & mirrors which I don’t believe for one second. 

And Adam’s been presented as being a very forgiving, kind soul despite all the pain he’s been through. Revenge wasn’t even on his mind the moment he got out of that cage. It was human food on top of wanting to go back to school or get a job. Meaning he cared more about getting back to some sense of normalcy. Then when Castiel and the Winchesters pulled him and Michael into their crisis, Adam was willing to hear their side and attempted to convince Michael to help them. Why go through that whole charade if Adam just wanted Sam and Dean hurt or dead? They had every opportunity to double-cross TFW while being held captive but instead Michael & Adam chose to put aside their grievances, at least for the moment, and give the Winchesters something useful. Now whether or not the spell actually works (I doubt it’ll be that simple) is the mystery. However this definitely not the last time we’ll see these two characters which brings me to point number 2. Jack Kline.

This is a big one. Why you ask? Well lets go over that scene in 15x08 where Castiel shares his memories with Michael and Adam. There was so much foreshadowing in this moment (from Michael/Adam’s return down the road, to Michael’s unavoidable confrontation with Chuck and finally his eventual encounter with the young Nephilim himself) based on how that scene was shot and edited. The primary objective was Michael watching Jack die at the snap of Chuck’s fingers and reacting to it along with all the other nasty business his dad’s been doing behind the scenes. Talking didn’t seem to be enough to get through to Michael and neither did antagonizing him. His stubbornness and arrogance wasn’t surprising being he is the Prince of Heaven and has a blind idealized devotion for his father as his loyal son. So in order to open Michael’s eyes and get him to see the truth, Castiel focuses his energy on the most ruthless, evil act Chuck has ever committed. Murdering his grandson and Michael’s nephew. 

Doing this Castiel shatters that righteous image Michael has had of his father forever because Chuck/God (father of all creation) is suppose to be the embodiment of light, love, hope, peace and benevolence. He created Michael to be his champion of humanity; the guardian protector of Heaven and Earth. Its Michael’s sworn destiny to defend good against evil. And Chuck crossed the line, several in fact. He represents everything Michael was born to oppose. Trying to mess with free will, attempting to destroy everything he created all out of spite because the Winchesters refused to play his games anymore. But above every horrible thing he’s ever done there’s no sin greater than taking the life of his own flesh and blood. A child born of a human (God’s greatest creation) and an archangel (Michael’s younger brother Lucifer whom, despite their conflict, he loved immensely). That is unforgivable. No matter how much he may still love him, Michael has absolutely no reason to trust his father; not after all those centuries of deception. And Chuck has shown he has no regard for human life let alone the lives of his own family which Jack’s death all represents. 

Now Michael chose to leave at the end of 15x08 after giving our heroes the spell to trap Chuck and showing them the door to Purgatory. But what’s interesting about that is his reference to the Darkness. It’s unclear if Michael even knows Amara has been released and neither Dean or Castiel ever mention it. I wonder if he can sense her energy. So the question is where is Michael going? Is he planning to seek her out or leaving to confront his father (which I doubt since Chuck is preoccupied with Sam and Eileen at the moment)? What we do know is Michael and Adam can’t avoid the inevitable. They’re as much apart of this fight as TFW whether they like it or not. It all depends on which side Michael ultimately chooses. Will he align himself with the Winchesters or is he going to be on his own side? It’ll be interesting to find out when the show returns in 2020!  And I’ve been thinking a lot about what Michael’s interaction with Jack will look like when they’re finally reunited because if its anything like what we saw with Gabriel (or better) that could be a good sign for Sam, Dean and Castiel. 

 Out of all his paternal family members Jack’s so far met his biological dad (that didn’t go over so well), his grandfather (that didn’t go well either) and one of his archangel uncles. He’s yet to encounter his great aunt Amara the Darkness or his most powerful famous warrior uncle. The original Michael. Those are interactions I’d very much like to see happen before the show ends. But for arguments sake lets say Michael does consider turning on the Winchesters. Not that he would or might but what if he still has doubts. Jack could be TFW’s best chance at gaining Michael’s trust, cooperation and alliance. He could tell his uncle that Castiel and the Winchesters had been raising him as their own; protecting him since he was born. Things I’m sure Michael might appreciate. Or Jack could confide his biggest regret (accidently killing Mary Winchester) as a means to bond with Michael and help him understand the Winchester brothers a little better. Reminding Michael and Adam of redemption and forgiveness. That any pain the Winchesters might’ve caused them has no comparison to what Jack took from Sam and Dean and yet they’re still a family.

It’ll be fascinating to see how they go about the dynamic between these characters considering what happened with AU Michael in S13 and S14. Jack may be a little hesitant of his uncle at first and Michael may be hostile (since he probably knows Nephilim are forbidden) yet curious or a combination of both. Or maybe their first encounter may be a bit softer than expected what with Adam in the middle of things. Michael could become very taken with Jack and protective of him. He was very distraught after seeing those horrifying images of his father killing his nephew. And I could see Adam being their ice breaker (oh the comedic possibilities of this!) he’s a very laidback, likable chill dude not to mention Sam and Dean’s half brother. Yah that little detail is probably going to be the most shocking for Jack since Adam’s never been a blip on the Winchesters’ radar.

Moving onto point number 3. Heaven. It’s dying which is why Jack was manipulated into creating new angels to power it up. After all the damage done by Metatron, Lucifer and the Entity it’s left in ruin and without proper leadership. We know as of right now Michael has no intention of going back there. He’s severely withdrawn since learning his brothers are all deceased and probably feels like a failure and a fool. But none the less he’s got unfinished business back home. By the time Supernatural ends someone’s got to be left in charge of things up there, my moneys on either Amara or Michael since he’s the heir to the throne of Heaven. It would be a fitting ending for either of them. Maybe Michael will somehow restore Heaven’s power (with Amara and Jack) and reopen it for the all the earthbound souls. Or maybe in the aftermath of the final showdown against Chuck, Michael will just hang around with Adam and whoever else is left standing on Earth. And finally we reach my last point number 4. Amara.

What do we know about Michael’s complicated history with his aunt? Not much either than the fact that he and his brothers were ordered by Chuck to seal her away centuries ago; with no intention of ever releasing her. Something tells me Amara wouldn’t harbor any kind of affection for Michael, not after what we saw with Lucifer. And we have no idea if she still shares that same connection with Dean as she did in S11 (though rumor has it they got an upcoming storyline together in the back-half of S15) or if she’s even interested in lending a hand in the Winchesters’ business of saving the world. However Amara has been shown, like Michael, to have developed a love for humanity. She’s having the time of her life vacationing all over and taking advantage of her freedom. I don’t think she’d be too thrilled knowing her brother plans to destroy all he’s accomplished and he’s not exactly her favorite person to be around. She’s completely done with Chuck’s crap. He’s alienated her to the point where she wants to be as far from him as humanly possibly. 

And if she does still view Dean in a favorable light after what he’d done for her, that could be what persuades Amara into helping TFW. Michael would have to be an absolute moron to attempt an attack (if he decided to make them his enemies) if Sam and Dean manage to get the Darkness on their side. Its canon that she’s far more powerful than the archangels which is why it took all of them combined to lock her away. That said I don’t think Michael’s character is being set up as a villain. We already had AU Michael, been there done that. Nor do I see him and Amara at odds specifically because of their deteriorating ties to Chuck. Could their reunion be pretty heated and violent? Possibly. Its hard to say where they’ll stand with each other when they cross paths, there’s some bad blood between them for sure so they’ve got some family issues to sort through. But as of right now, what’s happening is bigger than both of them and their angst. Ironically Michael and Amara got more in common with each other than they realize. 

Both of them were abandoned, lied to and used by Chuck on top of being imprisoned for many years. And they actually care about the world they're currently inhabiting which Chuck wants to end. That’s got to be worth more to them than some old discrepancies in the past. Enough for them to want to put aside their differences and work together to stop Chuck. Imagine how awesome this storyline would be, former enemy family members coming together because of a common threat they’re all facing. Michael and Amara along side TFW, that’s a pretty badass team. I WANT THIS. I want to see Michael get to be a good guy. Become an ally and the honorable hero he was meant to be. Saving humanity whom he now cares about with his human best friend. We deserve to see this version of Michael come into fruition before the show ends. 

Anyway those are my thoughts on the Michael/Adam situation. I hope it comes true or most of it anyway. I know Supernatural is building up for a big finish. It would be nice if they didn’t waste two characters we haven't seen for ten years. I want to believe that they have plans for Michael and Adam that don’t include killing them off for shock value and/or villainizing them at the last second. They deserve better than that. 15x08 was a perfect example of how to utilize and develop these characters into the plot. They have so much potential and story left to tell. Lets hope the writers know what they’re doing.

#adam milligan #Jack Kline #supernatural #Archangel Michael #The Winchesters #Castiel #SPN #Amara the darkness #aichael #Michael x Jack #adam x michael #dean winchester #chuck god #supernatural season 15 #spn meta #dean x amara #chuck x amara #chuck x michael #team free will #team free will 2.0 #michael #spn 15 #spn season 15

[illusionsofcontrol]

what was ur least fave trial in the original dangonronpa?

So I'm assuming you mean the first Danganronpa game? If so, then it's definitely the third trial.

(Danganronpa and SDR2 spoilers ahead.)

(also oh boy this is long I really elaborate too much on things)

Now, the third trial isn't terrible. I did like parts of it. Celeste's breakdown was fun to see, especially in the English dub which I honestly thought was more impactful than the original with the changing accents. Her voice actress did an excellent job. The mystery itself was also pretty complicated and interesting, with the hammers and deception and all.

But the main problem I have with the third trial is the culprit herself. In my opinion, Celeste's character just wasn't done right. I like her concept, but I just don't think it was carried out well.

The third trial was significant because it was the first time someone was being actively malicious in their intent to kill. In the first case, Sayaka was manipulative, but she was ultimately trying to see what happened to her band. She also didn't know that her escaping would mean everyone else dying. And obviously, the second murder ended up being in the heat of the moment.

However, from the hours leading up to the body discoveries, seeing people being attacked and everyone running around trying to find "Robo Justice", we instantly know that this culprit is different. This culprit is actively toying with everyone. These murders were calculated and cruel. And I actually really liked that! It definitely upped the stakes, really drove in that this awful situation was going to bring out the worst in some students.

The problem is, Celeste's talent is the Ultimate Gambler. A good gambler never reveals what they're thinking and takes risks anyway. Whether they have a good hand or a bad hand... you're not supposed to know. That's how they trick their opponents; for example, a good gambler could have a terrible hand, but by bluffing through their behavior, the gambler could trick their opponent into thinking they actually has a much better hand. Thus, their opponent folds and the gambler wins despite having the worse hand.

However... Celeste is not a good liar. We're told she is. But the writers didn't do a good job of showing it. It was pretty obvious to most players before the trial even started that Celeste was the main culprit due to how sketchy she was acting. We just didn't know how she pulled it off. We're supposed to believe that she's some amazing liar, but in the end the only people she really fools are Hifumi and Aoi. And... that's not an accomplishment.

Celeste's problem was that the writers already had her acting like someone who would definitely kill someone without a care for her own benefit. So when we see a killer actually being malicious and manipulative and the motive being money, most people instantly jump to Celeste. And that's not good in a mystery story. At the very least, if a killer is fairly obvious, then something else about the killer should be shocking. In SDR2, a fair amount of people also figured that Mikan was suspicious from the start; however, her true nature was a huge shock and became excellent foreshadowing for one of the biggest plot twists in the end. (That trial was also a huge mess, but from a mystery standpoint rather than a character standpoint.)

Celeste's motive is... to live in a castle surrounded by manservants. And I kind of doubt she was lying about that. It's not that big of a surprise, even. We do learn how she got Hifumi to work with her, and it was actually a pretty dramatic scene. She knew exactly how to manipulate Hifumi, which is interesting in its own respect.

However, Celeste is not a good representation of the Ultimate Gambler. She's not a good liar, though she's a good manipulator. She's also a control freak, seeing how she reacts to things not going her way and how she tries to control everyone's behavior with the "no going out at night" rule. But the thing is, gamblers aren't known for being manipulative or control freaks. They're known for taking huge risks for huge rewards and hiding their true emotions. If they lose, they're able to win things back or cut their losses.

Many good gamblers are also quick thinkers and can cheat without being caught, but we don't see Celeste doing much of that either. Her supposedly smart plan was foiled by her underestimating Hifumi's stupidity; but in my opinion, if she was really smart she wouldn't have let him ruin things like that. I also don't know if her going for Yasuhiro was that smart either; yeah, he's dumb, but he's too obviously dumb to even carry out a murder like that. Plus, he could barely move around in the suit. It was such an obvious framing, and we're expected to think Celeste is cunning??? Celeste should've known that frame would be seen straight through, especially with people like Kyoko and Byakuya in the group. It's not like she's never been in a trial before.

I mean if anything, Komaeda was more of an Ultimate Gambler than Celeste. The kid actually loved taking huge calculated risks, unlike Celeste who tried to make everything go her way. He even made his own DEATH a gamble. Can you imagine if Celeste had Komaeda's nerve? Made her murder hinge on a risk and kept an excellent calm poker face throughout the entire game so her true nature actually came as a shock? I think that would've made her and the trial way better.

I guess to sum things up, I think the worst trial in the first game is the third one. It had a good mystery behind it and good voice acting, but the case's killer was too obvious and her behavior was inconsistent with what we were told to believe.

#dr ramblings

[missbrunettebarbie]

Black Sails season 1

Welp, I just finished this. And let me tell you, it was a ride. I think in the last two episodes the show truly shined and I hope it keeps going on in season 2. I enjoy the entire format, with no true leads and just a list of characters allowed to have their own personhood and agendas.

Honestly, I am not sure how faithful this post is to my actual thoughts as they changed from one episode to another, but I'll try to break down my opinion of the characters below, in no particular order.

Miranda Barlow

Probabil the first character that truly made me love (actual love, not mere like+fascination) her. From the moment she refused to be intimidated by that pastor, I was very into her. Also, unrelated, but she has such a nice voice.

Her backstory is tragic, but not depressing. Her relationship with Flint varies from heartwarming to heartwrecking. I love how divided people's opinions about her are: either a witch who controls Flint with her sinister magic or a poor woman kept away under a pirate captain's reign of terror. Yet, she is neither, lol.

If she was maried to the eldest son of an earl iirc, she was probably of high birth too. I imagine living in Nassau as a puritan wasn't easy for her and I kind of liked she latched into Richard to provide a better life for her and Flint.

On the note of her "betrayal", I know where she's coming from, but did she really think Flint would give everything up? For her? I kinda enjoy her confidence, lmao.

James Flint

The captain was like an onion for me, I had to peel away layers to understand him. The end result? I like him. He is probably one of the smartest people, yet his ego is his biggest enemy. (@wisteria-lodge I think he is a perfect example of Snake secondary who really knows how to use his skills for leadership. Idk, I thought you'd like to be tagged in since I think I might use your terms a bit.)

I can't believe he basically murdered his chief cheerleader??? God, this man has no reservations. Tho again considring what he did in the pilot this is tame for him.

But he was right about the Urca. And he was right about wanting to keep a part of the gold bc we all know his men will waste it all away. So, I hope he still gets to be captain next season.

His relationship with Eleanor is really touching, for some reason? I already said I find them similar and I love how they more or less think of themselves as king/queen, the most intelligent, yet their egoes>>>>any other trait they have.

He is yet another Snake secondary whose skills of deception are unebievably good.

John Silver

I liked him so much in the pilot when he stole the page and prentended to be a cook and now the finale brought back all the feels. Silverflint is so amazing and I adore their journey and Silver's strange sense of loyalty towards him.

He and Max are another duo that was delicious to watch. To qoute @laufire : they are indeed birds of a feather.

I am also hear for his confidence and his ability to get out of trouble. I cannot believe he won both Randall AND Eleanor over.

Max of Nassau

Not many things to say about her since I could hardly tolerate her storyline this season. But well, she did end up the Madame, didn't she?

The moment she got rid of Eleanor was O: but also :DD. You go, girl! And why are all their emotional talks related to send? Anidala is haunting me.

I can't believe how smug she looked when her naked body pretty much quelled Anne's rage. This woman is something else.

Billy Bones

I refuse to belive what episode 8 told us. I just refuse. He and Silver were the only attractive guys in this show, so bring him back.

His relationship with Flint was chef's kiss. And how the rest of the crew was like: "We can forgive everything, but not Billy." Be still my heart.

Jack Rackham

If it wasn't for him, I couldn't have stomached the first five or so episodes. He is a delight! I need his sunglasses and I need them now.

He is another person whose brain amazes me? If Vane would have just listened they would have been the one chasing the Urca and all thanks to Jack.

I already talked about Jack and trust, but now I wonder if Max chose him to sell the page to because he knew he was trustworthy while also extanding his trust towards them.

Him and Anne are hawt together, lol.

Jack better be a captain next season. Not that I don't enjoy his pimp role, but... he needs adventure.

Eleanor Guthrie

Maybe it is her outfits, maybe it is how Maxanor developed, maybe her relatable daddy issues, but I actually like Eleanor.

Girl is smart, but sadly not on the same level as Flint, Jack or Silver. Yet, she doesn't want to give an inch to so....yeah.

I think the moment I was truly sold on her was when she was in control of the island and her next order of business was killing her father. Can she actually do it, show? Pretty please.

....Lau made me hope for a change in dynamic for her and Mr. Scott cause I don't like it rn.

And like, the others:

I think I will be much more interested in Vane and Vane/Eleanore if he was played by a different actor.

Anne is the woman pirate I never knew I needed. I loved how she felt about Max and her abuse and how she took things in her own hands. She and Jack are also sweet.

Idelle looks too good not to have more screen time.

I will say one thing about Mr. Scott storyline: I really liked he helped the slaves and they got good things out of it.

I am most likely forgetting something, but eh. I will just make smaller posts later if other things come to mind.

#bs thoughts #bs spoilers #black sails #review #my thoughts #this might a bit #way more #longer than expected

[project-ohagi]

Kyoka Jirou x Reader {Monster AU}

Buy me a coffee!! <3

The wind ruffled your tails as you stalked further and further into the night. Your breathing was laboured and crimson cuts littered your body. You couldn't understand why they were pursuing you; it wasn't as though you had been doing anything wrong. In fact - you were simply undertaking your daily routine, when, quite suddenly, you felt something graze your glorious fur. It prickled, and you snarled, turning around to check your surroundings. You failed to see the snipers, the smaller guns, the silver bullets and the other objects gleaming with malice. You started backwards. Your ears twitched.

Another shell skirted past your neck. You whimpered. This wasn't supposed to happen; your forest was a peaceful place, riddled with multicoloured fairies, large lakes which sheltered a variety of creatures, including Kappa, magnificent trees that were also home to a few different species, and of course, your family. You lived in a clearing, far from where you were now, flanked by trees and foliage, bodies of water and special barriers. You refused to lead these intruders to your comfortable habitat. You cared too deeply for your fellow Kitsune.

You could have transformed right in front of these malignant individuals, yet you didn't. You wouldn't give them any more reason to follow, to hunt, to kill. Your nine, flowing tails were prime targets though, and very sensitive. You obtained your final tail a mere two weeks ago, when you finally turned one thousand years of age. It would bring shame on your family if you were to die now, at the hands of these evil humans. You bounded further into the thick forest, attempting to lose your pursuers at every twist and turn. However, for some reason, they always seemed capable of finding you. Perhaps it was the distinct scent you gave off, that was different from all the other forest-dwelling beings, or maybe it was simply because your natural form was far too difficult to hide. You decided that it would be in your best interest to find a safe spot, transform, and get out as fast as possible. You didn't quite know why these people were here, intruding on sacred land, but they were both annoying and frightening. You also weren't sure why they were using such primitive weapons - surely humans these days had powers? You could attest to having seen as much with your own eyes.

As you were pondering this, you spotted an opening - a little space beyond some shrubbery, with a forbidding river cutting off the path. Thankfully, you were friendly with all the water spirits and monsters, so getting across wasn't going to be a problem. You glanced back, not seeing your attackers, although you could still hear the chinks of their metal boots on the lush forest floor. Your heart was racing.

There was a familiar face beside the river; it was a Kappa with whom you were close. You signalled the forthcoming danger. Your friend nodded, not seeming fazed in the least - they were very good with deception, and had a hard head. They could cover for you until you were across the river. You thanked the stars that you were able to swim.

You crossed with ease, emerging on the other side with a dripping coat. Throwing one final, grateful look at the Kappa, you turned and bolted. You ran for around another twenty minutes, making sure to put as much distance between yourself and the intruders as you could. However, your legs grew increasingly tired, and soon enough, they buckled. You fell to the ground with a thud. The earth shook, causing all the loose leaves and creatures to jump and scurry away. Your breaths were shallower now, as you could finally focus on regulating them. You were breathing through your nose, still reluctant to trust the peaceful atmosphere. Once you had regained most of your strength, you adorned your human form. You forgot to do it earlier, but your other plan had worked like a charm. (H/c) locks flowed from atop your head, caressing your face like a silk handkerchief. Your eyelashes fluttered, revealing bright (e/c) eyes. On your body was a simple, snowy-white dress. You couldn't exactly control what sort of clothing materialised - you hadn't yet mastered this ability. You knew your mother could do that; she was a very experienced Kitsune, after all (at least, that's what she wanted you to tell people).

There was another river in this place, but this one had a cascading waterfall and a bunch of giant rocks, perfect for sitting on. You wandered over to the biggest one, which was located directly underneath the waterfall. You perched there, feeling the water seep into your hair and roll down on to your dress.

"Hello?"

You cracked one eye open; the voice didn't seem threatening. In fact - whoever it was sounded lost. It was the voice of a young woman, not one of those hunters. She probably didn't even know they were also in the forest. You gazed at her, scanning her petite figure with an air of caution. She was beautiful, with choppy, purple hair and what looked like earphone jacks? You had seen those before, you remembered, somewhere in the city. Apparently humans plugged them into electronic devices in order to listen to things privately.

"Yes?" You asked, turning her full attention towards you.

A crimson blush appeared on her cheeks. "Hi, um...I'm kinda lost. Do you know how to get out of this forest?"

You slipped off the rock. "Why did you come here?"

She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "I was here with my friends, but we got separated. I've been walking around for ages." She paused, looking at you in confusion. "Why are you here?"

"I was being followed, so I came here for sanctuary." You responded, circling her.

"Followed by who? Are they here now? Are you okay?" She became more frantic when she saw your wounds. "Oh my god, what happened? Did you get shot? You need to see a doctor or something! If you come with me, I can take you to Recovery Gir-"

You shook your head, pointing to the waterfall. "The water in this place is good for healing."

She didn't look convinced. "You're covered in blood and wounds!"

"You interrupted me."

She winced. "Sorry, but really, you should see someone about those."

"You should leave. You said you were lost?"

She expressed embarrassment again. "Yeah..."

"Then come. I can show you the way."

With an appreciative nod, she allowed you to lead her out of the clearing. You weren't quite certain what had compelled you to help this lost stranger, but she wasn't anything to be afraid of, and she was genuinely concerned for your wellbeing. Just remembering her words and tone was enough to make you shiver. It was something different and exciting - something you hadn't done before. Normally, you tried to stay far away from humans and the city. Your family didn't want anything to do with that lifestyle. Some beasts did opt to blend in with the humans, and actually, that included a lot of Kitsune. You had interacted with humans before, but it was never for very long. You weren't sure how long you could keep your human form. This girl was one of the first people you had met since gaining your ninth tail.

It seemed as though she wanted to say something; perhaps she would thank you again, or perhaps she thought the silence stifling. Either way, she was mumbling a lot, but your senses were more enhanced than a human's, and you picked up on every single word, despite how incoherent it might have sounded to one of her own kind. You halted, turning your head to glance at the girl. She hadn't noticed that you stopped, and you didn't move out of her way. She bumped into you, and her face immediately fell. She jumped backwards, waving her arms around. Her cheeks were even more flushed than earlier.

"Do you not like the silence?" You questioned, tilting your head.

She blinked twice. "No, t-that's not it."

You said nothing.

"Who are you...exactly?" She suddenly asked, cautiously.

There was another round of silence, and she figured that might have been something you didn't want to ask. She panicked - that could be seriously misconstrued. Here you were, trying to help her, and she was just being rude. However, after a few minutes of humiliating her, she saw a smile creep on to your features. It was the smallest thing, and had she not been paying attention, she definitely would have missed it.

"My name is (Y/n)." Your voice was soft, sweet, and she could almost hear the faintest giggle.

"O-Oh, cool." She gulped, extending a hand. "Kyoka Jirou."

You nodded. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too. Uh...are you about my age? What school do you go to?" She asked.

Humming, you wondered if you should lie - she would never know any different. Although, for some reason, you didn't really want to do that. It was a complicated thing to mull over. Humans could be so frail, yet so conniving, but you were convinced that this girl was pure. She looked like she would make a good mate, despite her genetics.

Eventually, you made a decision: "I'm afraid I don't attend a 'school'. We learn culture and the ways of life here, in the forest. I suppose this form does resemble your age, but in reality, I am a lot older."

"No way." She breathed. "Are you, like, a fairy or something?"

An amused sound caught in your throat. "Not quite."

"...What are you then?" She questioned, interest piqued.

"A Kitsune." You replied, trailing a hand across your back.

For less than a second, she saw a total of nine (h/c) tails, freely flowing in the crisp breeze. When you swiped your hand across them, they disappeared, and she was left wondering whether they had even been there in the first place, or if it was simply an illusion. Nevertheless, she found it really cool. She briefly thought that it might have been a quirk, but you mentioned being taught in the forest. Plus, the vibe you gave was otherworldly - like you weren't supposed to exist on this plane of reality. You were a fantastic beast; no wonder you were being followed.

She grinned. "Can you show me some tricks, then?"

[Word Count: 1738]

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero x reader #mha kyoka #kyoka jiro #kitsune #monster au #kyoka jiro x reader #female reader

[roominthecastle]

post--“620″ ramblings about stuff & things

so 620 picks up one week after the succulent goose incident. Despite those 7 days, our Red remains as angry and hurt as he was before (if not more), which is our first key point. “I can neither kill... nor trust... nor forgive.” It’s quite an unsettling thing to hear, to say the least, and Liz, unsettled, immediately counters w/ “You forgave Dembe.” This Liz vs Dembe thread that’s been earnestly pulled on since 618 gives us the second key. It reaches all the way back to the first episode of this season where it gets established why such a comparison is not working as an argument: “That’s different.”

In both 620 and 601 we have a moment where Liz and Red try to drag poor Dembe in between them as an “example” to deflect pressure, but each immediately rejects this stunt bc they both know that the nature of their relationship is different. The forgiveness of a parent (figure) is not forthcoming for Liz bc Red’s feelings for her are not really those of a parent. This exact issue emerged after her faked death, too, and Bokenkamp touched upon Red’s point of view already, i.e. how the parent figure would have to forgive but the romantic partner is, in fact, conflicted [x]. But I’ve already written a longer piece on this duality, so I won’t get into it here.

And Red’s been struggling. He is heartbroken again and not as a parent. A parent’s heartbreak is equated to “being impaled by a unicorn” and -- still barred from being in her life -- it’s little Agnes whom Red watches riding a unicorn on the carousel. :)

With Liz, Red is suffering through something else that 100% parallels what Liz went through w/ Tom re, love, betrayal, and forgiveness. She was in limbo where she couldn’t kill, she couldn’t trust, she couldn’t forgive. She lost control and cold fury was the only way to get some of it back. And then she gave in to hope and “forgave every lie and believed every promise” only to get betrayed again. Red describes his predicament the same way: she “has lied and deceived me and I've forgiven her every time” and “I knew but I let my hopes convince me that she wouldn’t betray me.” This ties straight back to the idea of being in love == being rendered powerless, which is part of a larger quote from James about self-deception vs true romantic love. Part of this had a cameo in S2 and another is echoed at the end of this episode (the greeting card bit).

The topic of appearance vs truth is the third key that slides neatly into the broader question of Red’s identity. We have two important scenes that poke this issue:

one w/ Ressler when he questions Dom’s story and Liz’s willingness to gloss over the holes to preserve a neat surface appearance: “But is it the truth? Does it make sense that this is the answer?”

and the other is w/ torture master Teddy who points out how Red lives a charade: “The code's like the suit and the hat. You feel good wearing it. Look good, too. Million bucks. But, and I gotta think deep down you know this, it's like lipstick on a pig. It can cover a lotta sins. End of the day, it's still trayf.”

and all this nicely echoes Dom’s words from the previous episode (the “architect of this charade” who’s “stepping into the lie”) and the way Red kicks off the whole show in 101: “Everything about me is a lie.”

Red wears a disguise, is the point. “Raymond Reddington” is a lie he’s been inhabiting for a yet to be fully uncovered purpose. But ever since he met Liz, he’s been longing to break from this. It’s clearly expressed in all those emotional moments he shares w/ her, e.g.:

“I haven't been home in years. But if anyone can give me a second chance, it's you.”

“Sailors have been navigating by the stars for thousands of years. Odysseus spent a decade at war. But his biggest battle was finding his way home. That's Polaris, the North Star. That's how sailors used to find their way home. When I look at you, that's what I see. I see my way home.”

“It may be hard for you to imagine, but I once had a relatively normal life... bills to pay, play dates, family, some friends, people to care about. Lost all that. // Lost how? // In Mexico, there are these fish that have colonized the freshwater caves along Sierra del Abra. They were lost. They found themselves living in complete darkness. But they didn't die. Instead, they thrived. They adapted. They lost their pigmentation, their sight, eventually even their eyes. With survival, they became... hideous. I've rarely thought about what I once... was. But I wonder...if a ray of light were to make it into the cave, would I be able to see it? Or feel it? Would I gravitate to its warmth? And if I did, would I become... less hideous?”

When Red looks at Liz and Agnes, the deep longing for that past self w/ a wife and daughter stirs in him. It surfaces when she tells him her simple yet distant dream of walking in the park w/ her husband and daughter. They want the exact same thing. This is consistent throughout the seasons. He’s been gently signaling this to her and she’s been fleeing from it bc he is just... too much and the idea of him in that role in her life is an attractive yet scary image (see her steamy dream of him in S2 that blends sensuality and dread as Red, having murdered her husband, stalks up to her bed asking what she really wants).

Red’s anger as a way to reestablish a semblance of soothing control and Liz’s refusal to face the truth to protect herself are what we have in that last scene in 620. “father figure” is a buffer zone, always has been, it’s part of the charade Red lives while wearing Reddington’s identity. Despite having pushed for the truth, she is now trying to lock him into this lie, telling him that that’s what he will always be. And if you keep in mind those quotes above that show how Red longs for a past life around her, then you can see how her words likely inflict more pain.

This brings another quote from Red to mind:

“You said something before. The truth doesn’t matter, that the only thing in this world that matters is just the appearance of truth. I fear you might be right about that. Lately I find that the truth has become… so elusive. Often imaginary. But in the end, it’s all that we’re left with, isn’t it? What is real, what you can taste and touch and feel. The words that pass between us as we look each other in the eye are… all we have to hold on to. The truth. I hold it dear.”

In their first scene where Liz talks about finally having the opportunity to be completely honest w/ each other, they sit face to face. And then promptly dance back from it all, esp Red. Then she soon admits to Ressler that she might be closing her eyes to the whole truth to keep things simple, safe and "sweet”. And so in their last scene, there is no eye contact at all as she tells Red that it doesn’t matter who he once was (never mind that months ago she was willing to put him in jail to find out) bc this fake identity is who he is and who he will always be, which apparently dictates that he must play father and grandfather.

The sheer arrogance and presumptuousness of this statement are already begging for a strong rebuttal but it also nicely reflects Liz’s tendency to make things about herself while brushing aside how others might feel or think. She did this w/ Tom when she refused to see who he really was and tried to convince herself he’d changed. And she does this to Ressler, too, when she tells him she knows he did everything bc he thought it was what was best for her, never mind that that was not Ressler’s motivation at all and he, in fact, said that to her already. Her last scene w/ Red has this vibe to it.

The fact that Agnes is part of this park scene is no coincidence, imo. Red is not comfortable w/ playing Liz’s dad. If he were, he wouldn’t have denied being her dad when she asked him in S1 (since wearing Reddington’s identity provides the wiggle room here), he wouldn’t have winced and cringed every time she referred to him as “father” in S5, and he wouldn’t have had the same reaction at the end of 620, either. He doesn’t embrace it, he doesn’t like it, he just endures it. There was a (sadly discarded) line back in S1/S2 about how he would be willing to play any role she wanted him to play but I believe something has changed since then. Even back in 102, he enthusiastically offers her the role of girlfriend and when she refuses, he flatly tells her that she can play daughter then. The preference on his part seems consistent but it will always be up to Liz to give the green light. Or the red one.

He wants to be a father to Agnes and he’s already confessed it in 319 (“I would give anything to be a part of that child's life... hold her... watch her grow.”). And the only time during the park scene when we can see the cold tension melt off him is when he sees the little girl. And when he hears Liz’s decision to bring Agnes home, his stony demeanor crumbles completely.

This is also where another part of that quote from James mentioned above seeps into the dialog: when Red remarks that Liz’s code is not a code but a greeting card -- confused, self-deceiving bullshit (just like Teddy called his code part of a charade designed to hide the scary truth). They are still not being honest w/ each other, they don’t look each other in the eye, they are still dancing around the actual truth at the core of their relationship. Red is deeply hurt, all his hopes seemingly dashed, which drives him to clam up even more and detach to mitigate the pain. He can’t kill but he can try and kill his true feelings for her, I suppose. And Liz is still afraid to face what it is exactly that fuels his intimate commitment to her, so she draws a line in the sand, declaring it permanent. But...

“You know the problem with drawing lines in the sand? With a breath of air, they disappear.”

James stated -- while talking about TBL -- that he’s not interested in material that doesn’t have a romantic/sexual aspect to explore. He also said that he is fascinated by Red and Liz’s relationship, that Red’s feelings for her are strong, complex, and complicated, and that neither is sure of the true nature of their relationship.

so bottom line (to quote Ressler who’s fast becoming the only voice of reason now that Dembe left): Red locked in the surrogate parent role just bc he wears Reddington’s identity for a different, still mostly unknown purpose -- is it the truth? does it make sense that this is the answer?

nope.

And I think it’s interesting that Cooper was designated as a “spokesperson” when he is in the dark about what happened between Red and Liz: the one who is mostly in the dark speaks about a family bond but his assessment (of love, faith, commitment) could easily pass for a wedding vow, too. It’s nothing but fitting, imo.

This latest fallout created a huge fracture in the Red/Liz relationship and I don’t expect them to repair it in the 2 episodes we have left this season. But Agnes is back and I think she will be the glue for these two idiots in the long run, allowing them to slip into a family rhythm that could potentially coax some buried feelings to the surface -- feelings both are trying to ignore at the moment.

#tbl spoilers #tbl spec #long post #lizzington

[wings-of-a-storm]

Phew, I am half way through unraveling my thoughts on Lucas’ and Eliott’s big afternoon together. As the flirting gets more blatant, my posts get longer -- I don’t make the rules.

I’m saving your dashes with a cut though! :)

ELIOTT’S APARTMENT

So already one obvious question comes to mind: does Eliott live alone instead of with family? Because that room they were in screams bachelor pad. Plus there was no bed there, so no way is that tiny, cluttered room shared with anyone else as an actual living room. Not with Eliott’s drawings and belongings scattered everywhere. So if Eliott is living alone, I wonder how this will or won’t affect the setting of later plot.

BEER FOR TWO

Eliott saying he has some beer to lend Lucas and then coming out with a ‘suitcase’ of the stuff is pretty funny. I’m not sure if it is supposed to show us that Eliott likes to socialise a lot with friends, or that he might use it as a coping mechanism when his you-know-what gets overwhelming, or whether it is just to show us the difference in age/experience between them – that Eliott can afford loads of beer and is independent already to have such a cache of it stored up (he must surely live away from his parents!), or that he generally lives the life of a university student more than a highschooler (but I’m not French so what do I know?).

What I love though is that Elliot came into the room with two extra beers to visually lure Lucas into staying longer. He could have just asked Lucas if he wanted a beer and then gone off to get a bottle upon hearing his answer, but our sneaky Racoon wanted to make sure Lucas would really stay. How can you say no to someone already holding up beer (especially when they are already doing you a favour)? Plus having the item right in front of you is so hard to resist and so, I dunno, action-oriented (I’m sure there are studies on it). Smooth work there, Eliott. True lit student?

ELIOTT’S SPIRIT ANIMAL: THE RACOON

I love how open Eliott is with Lucas about his drawings; that he actually told Lucas that the racoon was meant to be a portrayal of himself. That is very personal information, right there.

BUT THE RACOON LOOKS SO SAD. DON’T DO THIS TO US, ELIOTT!

From the get-go, Eliott has been so open with Lucas and keeps offering bits of himself up even though Lucas doesn’t often reciprocate. Is this to make his secrets all the more painful? Because you get fooled into thinking Eliott is just this warm, open person who is upfront about everything? (Am I being too coy, Skam France? What I meant to ask was: is Eliott’s consistent openness a way to make the end of the episode that much more painful for Lucas? Because he was not expecting that sort of omission from Eliott? Ouch France. Very ouch.)

Anyway back to Eliott’s love of raccoons. How cute is it when Eliott got a little defensive when Lucas shortened ‘racoon’ to ‘rat’ and Eliott was like: IT IS A RACCOON! SHOW SOME RESPECT, BOY! Okay maybe it wasn’t so cute -- Lucas insulting the raccoon is like insulting Eliott and a representation he holds dear in his heart, and for a second, he seemed to take it to heart.

In Skam Italia, we had a deceptively brilliant spirit animal chosen for Niccolò and his state of mind (the giraffe whose heart fell in love before its head caught up), and now we have Eliott’s raccoon.

The most obvious connection Eliott has with racoons is from his own words: they wear a mask. Eliott points out this characteristic to Lucas in typical youthful exuberance, as if it is Zorro or something. But in reality, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who felt pretty sad hearing him say it despite his adorable smile – it feels like he is already masking (pun definitely intended) why he is drawn to the idea hiding your full identity.

It is pretty interesting how Eliott’s internal turmoil is already being foreshadowed, actually. In previous versions, we’ve seen the pictures his counterparts have drawn and stuck on their walls. We’ve tried to study them to figure out what our Evens were trying to creatively express about themselves as they drew them. But the drawings have never been overtly explained to us by their actual owner before! The mask reference is unmistakable and a real little gem of an insight into how Eliott views himself in the world.

Aside from feeling like he has to wear a mask, I wonder what other elements of the Racoon will come into the storyline later…

‘HOW WOULD YOU DRAW ME?’

Oh my god, Lucas. Just oh my god. No matter how many times I rewatch this clip, my jaw drops at how bold Lucas is. Like have you no shame, child?!

A) Asking Eliott how he would draw him is basically Lucas saying: LOOK AT ME. STUDY ME. TURN ALL YOUR ATTENTION ONTO ME. LET THERE BE A MOMENT IN THE WORLD WHERE ALL YOU DO IS THINK ABOUT ME.

B) I know we’ve all been joking about ‘Draw me like one of your French girls’ but it does feel that intimate. Drawing a portrait, whether it is a spirit animal or not, is an intimate affair. Not necessarily Jack Dawson’s naked ladies-of-the-night kind of intimate, but still exposing on some level. Lucas was basically all: I want to get intimate with you. Challenge accepted or not?

B) The context of their conversation was about spirit animals, about Eliott knowing himself so well, he can see his own characteristics in a specific animal. But how the hell is Eliott supposed to know Lucas well enough to nominate an animal or even have a basic concept of Lucas so early in their acquaintance? They have spoken twice. Lucas asking Eliott how he’d draw him assumes that he is important enough in Eliott’s sphere for Eliott to actually know him the way he’d know a close friend. And since Eliott doesn’t know him that way, it is almost like a challenge to get to know him that way.

C) It is such a huge assumption that Eliott would have the time to even verbally craft a drawing of Lucas. That, my friends, is a transaction. Lucas just robbed Eliott of a suitcase of beer and now he’s demanding something else from him? I know he didn’t ask for an actual drawing, but even just coming up with a theoretical one takes time and thought. The boldness, Lucas, the boldness.

It was all such shameless flirting. Can you imagine Isak or Martino being bold enough to be all: draw a picture of me, babe, and add me to your collection. It was like Lucas skipped testing the waters and just went straight for it.

But somewhere along the way, Lucas must have felt confident enough to go there. Was it because he had seen how open-minded Eliott was in Polaris? Or because he was picking up on their own vibe together? Whatever it was, he was comfortable enough around Eliott to truly flirt. Our baby gay is actually flirting with another boy! But it makes the betrayal at the end of their afternoon so painfullll. I am sensing a pattern here, Skam France: ouch!

And the flirting worked. Because Eliott saw what Lucas was doing and fought fire with fire: damn right he took the opportunity to study Lucas’ face, to openly gaze at him for as long as he wanted and really take him in. (And Lucas ‘bold gay’ Lallemant didn’t even drop his gaze!) I love how Eliott even tilts his head back and steps back for a proper look, like challenge accepted, Lucas Lallemant.

But, incredibly, the quality of his gaze seems to shift, as if we can actually see his artist mindset clicking into place while he appreciates the angles of Lucas’ features and enjoys them.

It felt like such an intimate moment.

Of course what happens next, my friends, is the moment when Eliott drops one of the biggest lies of his life: “I don’t know how I’d draw you.”

L.I.A.R. My mind legit screams that every time I see him take that swig of beer.

Seriously, did you notice Eliott’s foot trying to push the folder full of Lucas’ drawings under the couch? Okay I am joking but those sketches of him must surely exist somewhere. If just glimpsing Lucas on his first day of school inspired Eliott to take another look at Polaris (as seen by the dates on his instagram account), he surely would have doodled Lucas and some of the things he had seen him do with his friends. That sip of beer seemed so much like guilt and thinking fast to cover himself. He lowered his head and everything. Guilllllllty. (Either guilt because he had already drawn Lucas, or guilt because he just got a flash in his mind of the perfect sketch and it was too personal for sharing.)

What I love though is how serious Eliott suddenly sounded when he said: “I’ll have to think about it.��� Like even though they had both been half-joking about the whole drawing thing, Eliott really does want to try drawing a portrait of Lucas in whatever form and he is so flustered about that desire when confronted with Lucas’ seemingly omniscient gaze.

And then Lucas does that eyebrow wiggle and Eliott goes from barely-holding-on flustered to send-help flustered. He not only broke the super charged eye contact with Lucas, but had to physically turn his head away to hide his face from him!

Not only that but he suddenly brings up smoking weed out of nowhere -- it had absolutely nothing to do with anything they had been talking about! I imagine it is because smoking weed is Eliott’s go-to method to calm down and he really needed to in that moment so it just came out of his mouth.

And, well, luckily for Eliott, Lucas is a snake that has no qualms about offering up his friends’ weed for further bonding time. ;)

As other people have already mentioned though, it is such a fascinating change that there is such mutual woo-ing going on; that Eliott is charming and Lucas sees it and raises it and ends up knocking Eliott out. It happened with the piano obviously, but this clip is where it really begins.

#Skam France #3x02 thoughts #elu #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury #skamfr thoughts #Clip 2 of 4 #Was this clip even real #I am still as shook as Eliott