Adam: Charlie, I'm starting to suspect your father might be gay.
Charlie: Wow. What made you think so?
Adam: He didn’t say "no homo" after kissing me this morning.
Charlie: Adam, you two hold hands all the time.
Adam: And?
Charlie: You are engaged.
Adam: So?
Charlie: He kissed you this morning.
Adam: What's your point?
Adam is definitely the kind of guy to kiss a man and say "No homo" as if that makes it less gay lol
Adam: We can be in a completely not gay relationship.
Charlie: You're holding hands on a date right now!
Lucifer: We are.
Adam: And? I'm not gay
Lucifer: No you're bisexual
Adam: Why would I have sex with a bike?
Lucifer: *Face palms* Not BIKEsexual you moron, bisexual. As in you like men and women.
Adam: Sounds fake but okay
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Heya, folks! Who's ready for a new AU?👀
Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, founded 5 days ago by Cetrion's ✨️delusional✨️ daughter, Harumi Shirai :D
Now, this is a Scorpion!Harumi AU... AU! So I'll be using the Scorpion!Harumi Crew and their dynamics as reference to parallel the characters. With that in mind, let's meet the hotel staff!👀
THE PRINCESS, HARUMI SHIRAI:
She has a dream! She wishes to tell! It's certainly laughable, but hey kid, what the hell? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Harumi is heir to the throne of hell, but she doesn't think much of it. Her focus lately has been solely towards this one thing:
The Hazbin Hotel!✨️🌈🌸💕 Where she will guide Sinner towards a path to salvation and away from Heaven's annual Extermination!
Hopefully...
THE BODYGUARD (AND GF), LISA LIANG:
At first glance, Lisa Liang may seem rather scary, but when you get to know her... she's still pretty scary!
But underneath all that anger (obvious unresolved trauma), mean attitude and secrets beats a lovingly and devoted heart!
Devoted to Harumi and Harumi only!
Seriously, DON'T mess with Harumi!
After being terribly injured during an Extermination, Lisa was rescued by Harumi, and from that day on, Lisa made it her life mission to protect that beautiful soul at all cost, do everything in her power to assure her dreams were fulfilled!
Even the seemingly impossible ones...
THE (ONLY) PATRON, KUAI LIANG:
The Hazbin Hotel's first (and only) guest. Don't mind him. He's only staying here for the free rent!
Or is he?
Kuai may not seem much at first glance, but stick around, and the demon will certainly surprise you!
Take the information as you will...
THE BARTENDER, HANZO HASASHI:
Need to vent? Then talk to the bartender! He may look like he's not interested, but trust me, he is the shoulder to lean on!
But don't push your luck! He's not here because he wants to be. He's here because his damned boss decided to play hotel manager and needed a doll to play with (ugh! Such an insufferable guy)!
But despite his boss's antics, Harumi's incessant singing, Lisa's constant scolding, and Kuai's insistent flirting. They weren't the worst lot to be around.
He could get used to it. Yeah... he could.
THE MAID, FROST:
She kills bugs!
That's all you need to know.
Seriously.
Move on. (ಠ_ಠ)
THE MANAGER, (DARK) RAIDEN:
The damned boss.
He's been here since day... he's been here a week. But is faithful as a nun! Or something...
And he wants to help!
Why, you ask?
SHEER. ABSOLUTE. BOREDOM :D
Probably... ig... who knows? I don't!
And neither do you :)
THE QUEEN OF HELL, CETRION:
Absent awkward, mother. She's trying, but she's usually busy.
She was once an angel, you know? Helped create stars and gardens!
That cool plant you like? She probably made that one!
Nowadays, she makes plants mostly for herself...
She has a garden of her own and all! She grows her very own flowers, unlike anything heaven's limitated ass could ever think of!
I mean, could heaven ever make
✨️The Magi-tastic Backwards Lily Flower?✨️
✨️THAT SPITS F I R E??✨️
Yeah, didn't think so😌
THE FIRST (SECOND) GUEST, BI-HAN:
Pretty sure he once had a big army, maybe he was even a leader or something. But nowadays? He's just a bit silly!
He came to the hotel as a spy, sent to keep an eye on Raiden.
But the "super villain" started to grow a bit too comfortable in the hotel and too accustomed to the compliments.
He got sloppy and was caught embarrassingly fast!
But with a simple sorry spoken straight from his core, he was given a second chance! Not that it will mean much-- H*LY SHIT HE [MAJOR SPOILERS]!!
THE HEAD SERAPHIM, ASHRAH:
Look, she's not evil! Just misguided...
She wants to protect her home and her sister and is willing to do whatever it takes!
But maybe she will calm down once she meets Heaven's newest resident...
THE OTHER SERAPHIM, SAREENA:
You can call her Sareena, Reen, Sa, Ena, whatever!
She's usually very sweet and bubbly, but she's not feeling particularly bubbly at the moment. She's learned some stuff, you know?
Maybe a new friend may help her raise her spirits?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
BONUS CHARACTERS:
THE LEADER OF CANNIBAL TOWN, DELIA:
I want to start including Delia in more on my stories, she seems like an interesting character who totally deserves more attention! Plus, I like the idea of her and Raiden bonding as (not elder) gods!
Plus imagine Delia using a big hat like Rosie's to cover her eyes!👀
THE WEAPONS' DEALER, SINDEL:
Fierce mom of two girls who would do whatever it takes to protect them.
We all know I don't need to elaborate
KUAI LIANG'S TWIN, TOMAS VRBADA:
Congratulations to Tomas for being the only one of Kuai's siblings who managed to remain his sibling on this AU, lol!
THE YET TO BE RESIDENT, CYRAX:
As Kuai's friend, I think she would fit as Cherry Bomb! It's not like Cyrax is not familiar with bombs, am I right?👀
Now, there are a couple characters that I'm still figuring out, Adam and Lute for once, have been particularly tricking!
I'm also still pondering The Vees and Lilith...
Regarding who I already choose, I know some of the choices may seem odd (Raiden, Cetrion and Bi-Han most likely) but I had my reasons for them, if you're interested in hearing them, feel free to ask, I'll gladly elaborate!
Also, please, if you have ideas to who may be the other characters, do share! I'd love to hear your thoughts!
A bit of a disclaimer before I wrap this all up!
Crimson Shadow (Bireena) is one of my main ships and is a thing in here, too! So Angel!Bi-Han will date Seraphim!Sareena. But that DOES NOT mean I ship Emily and Sir Pentious! This ship is for the AU ONLY!
That's all folks! Hope you enjoy my crazy AU!
Tagging the AU Squad:
@mikka-minns @madamealtruist (fellow Hazbin girlies)
@thedragonholder (cause you like AUs)
@running-with-the-feels (my not so discreet way of tempting you into watching Hazbin Hotel, lol)
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