#it will in no doubt alter that character's personality to some degree | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

obsidianvibranium · 2 years

Text

Steve Rogers: A Brief Character Analysis

I have seen way too many posts over the past year that hate on or attribute incorrect character traits to Stevie Boy, so this is in response to those misconceptions and baseless grievances, of which I will be addressing four: that Steve is egotistic, impulsive, entitled, and selfish.

First, Steve Rogers is not an impulsive person when it comes to making important ethical decisions. He has made a habit of acting upon his principles to the best of his ability in specific circumstances. CACW emphasizes this aspect of Steve’s personality. He is the only one to actually read through the Accords; Tony certainly doesn’t and Vision only looks at things from a vague general perspective and not the actual policies that are being implemented. Steve isn’t against rules; when he is being held in the office in Germany he tells Tony that if there were changes to the Accords— changes that would make them actually useful— he would sign them and be a willing participant. (I have addressed related issues with the Accords here, if anyone is interested. )

The whole presentation that Ross gives is a clear sign to Steve— and, arguably, Sam— that this is the objective of the Accords: it’s a power play. (Why the other avengers don’t see this— especially Rhodey and Natasha— I have no fucking clue. Chalk it up to the Russo brothers not being capable of staying true to their characters. *cough* endgame *cough* anyway…) They use the four incidences of mass destruction that the avengers partook in to guilt them into signing and it partially works. (Ahem, Tony) But the reality of who is culpable in these instances is most definitely not as Secretary Shithead Ross makes it out to be.

The battle of New York was largely instigated by SHIELD (surprise, surprise: a government sanctioned organization) who took it upon themselves to create weapons from alien technology. That situation was further exacerbated by the world security council sending a nuke which Tony had to get rid of, a task which caused him to have major PTSD.

Washington D.C. was to stop Hydra, another power hungry organization, which had taken over SHIELD (again, a government sanctioned organization), and if they hadn’t taken down those helicarriers millions of people would have died. The deaths that resulted from their destruction were an accident and an unfortunate consequence.

Lagos was a mission to stop some of the remaining aforementioned Hydra assholes from attacking innocent people with biological weapons. Brock Rumlow is to blame for the explosion which Wanda tried to maintain. Again, an unfortunate accident.

Even Sokovia, to a certain degree was out of the avengers hands. Tony created Ultron to serve as a protector of earth; a shield, not a weapon. However, the mind stone, upon giving Ultron a consciousness, altered his programming. Tony, nor Bruce, are to blame for the actions of Ultron who acted apart from them and the programming that they gave him, just as a parent is not responsible for their grown child, who was raised to understand that killing people is wrong, murdering people. Though the two geniuses are to blame for ultron’s creation, and it is most definitely problematic that they would try to implement it without the consent of the rest of the planet (though I’m not 100% positive that that’s what happened), they are not morally culpable for the actions of an independent agent which diverted from the given programming. More than that, they did the right thing by trying to stop the vibranium-stealing metal fucker from killing everyone.

All that to say that Steve very much thinks through his decisions and impulsively acts upon ethical principles that he has already ingrained within his own psyche. However, He continues to be introspective, and is constantly questioning what the right and wrong thing to do is; this is evidenced by the conversation he has with Peggy in CATWS where he tells her that he’s doubting his own understanding of what is right and wrong in light of SHIELD’s building of the helicarriers. It’s not that he doesn’t know if the intended function of the helicarriers is wrong (because it most certainly is: “This isn’t freedom. This is fear.”), but whether or not working for SHIELD, a government organization, is the right thing to do if they are going to partake in such morally questionable practices. His actions are driven by this constant ethical and philosophical debate he has going on in his head. (Which is just another reason why endgame is a load of shit, but that is a rant for another time.)

Secondly, though his beef with Tony in the Avengers film (the only egotistic instance I could think of) seems to fit that egotistical billing, it could (and should) be argued that he is fresh out of the ice, and all he knows is that Peggy, the woman he loves and just lost, was the one who started the organization and he trusted her completely, so his trust of SHIELD is really just his trust of Peggy. Moreover, he and Tony butt heads because of the persona that the latter frequently puts on. Steve, as I will argue soon, is a very selfless and loyal person, and he is intolerant of people's bullshit. Was it a misjudgment of Tony on his part? Yes, but it's a misjudgment that even the people closest to Tony made early on in their relationships with him because Tony uses it as a mental shield (another analysis for another time.) Anyways, the fact that Steve was trying to instigate the physical fight with Tony is absolute bullshit writing, because all throughout CATFA Steve is NEVER the one to instigate the fight; he won't back down from it, but he won't be the first one to throw blows. The fact that his behavior is contrary to this in the Avengers can be attributed to the writers' and Joss Whedon's inability to understand Steve's character, something that happens way too frequently in the MCU. (Another excellent post about Steve Rogers not being impulsive and egotistical can be found here.)

Third, Steve Rogers is NOT entitled; he doesn’t expect people to follow him. He very much is still in the mindset of the little guy from Brooklyn who nobody would listen to and asshole “men” would beat up because he called them out on their bullshit. He grew up in a time where eugenics was a popular political stance, meaning he was ostracized and belittled because of his health issues and his physiology; he would have been deemed genetically inferior and therefore a lesser being by many and treated as such. His entire speech in the Triskelion in CATWS emphasizes that he doesn’t think people will follow him and he doesn’t ask them to. He asks them to do the right thing because he believes in the goodness of individuals (as he says in his letter to Tony in CACW). He appeals to their individual humanity, their individual principles and ethics; he’s not trying to rally them behind him, but is encouraging them to do what they know to be the right thing on their own and of their own volition. Furthermore, he doesn’t oppose people questioning his judgement, but he is not going to let Rhodey stand there with his air of self-righteousness and tell him that the accords are the right way to go when he hasn’t even fucking read them! (Something which doesn’t seem fitting with Rhodes’s character, but hey, what do I know? 🙄) He holds people to the same standards he holds himself (which is why he is constantly butting heads with Tony, who holds himself to a high standard but in some questionable ways) and he expects everyone to make an informed decision. Again, this is seen in his speech in CATWS; he gives the SHIELD agents all the facts (though he doesn’t exactly have time to give them proof) and lets them make the decision for themselves.

Lastly, but most importantly, Steve is selfless; he does the right thing despite it being the more difficult path. He could have easily submitted to the Accords, or retired and said “this is not my problem,” but he risked his own life and freedom because he knew that Bucky was innocent and that there was a greater threat on the horizon. Being on the run from one nation, as he did in CATWS (something that a lot of people forget) is difficult, let alone being on the run from 117. This is not an easy feat and he fucking knows it. This is most certainly not a decision he makes impulsively. He does what he does because he values all human life, despite the potential loss of his own. Though he is not perfect (he should have told Tony what had actually happened to his parents, and he definitely could have explained his position on the Accords better, though I’m not sure how in character either of these behaviors are), he is a true hero because he sacrifices his own life for the safety and freedom of all of humanity at the risk of losing both, himself. (This is the most important reason why endgame is a load of shit, but, again, a rant for another time.)

The other Avengers certainly have their flaws, but they are not all impulsive (Nat being a prime example of one who is not, Tony of one who is). And as much shit as I give Tony, he is a very robust character with lots of characteristics and a well developed back story and I love him. I might do a character analysis on him and others in the future, but I will save those essays for a later date.

75 notes · View notes

2d-dreams · 11 months

Text

Flatland Writing #2

this has been sitting on my drafts untouched for a while so.. here goes.

Here are some ideas related to Flatland writing and language that I might expand upon later [im in a really bad place mentally rn so excuse any nonsense]

Each page of a book can hold at most the equivalent of a small paragraph of information.

Punctuation is used at the start of each sentence, and also used to add to the tone of the sentence that follows, like interrogation and exclamation marks mixed with/added tone tags and other stuff. For example, two identical pages with identical writing could have very different meaning if only the "punctuation mark" is altered by a few degrees.

They don't have special punctuation marks, simply the first letter/character of a sentence is interpreted as such, though generally is written much brighter to help to tell the start of the page.

A direct translation of the written language to ours would not be easy, but I would write it by writing the angles used for the words as previously described in my other post.

Something like 10°-50°-30°-80°-80° and mark each punctuation with a slash before the start of sentence or the punctuation angle in bold.

Rather than having their characters specifically made for each noise that a person can make - AKA letters like our own - their letters represent concepts that, strung together in certain ways [where the punctuation mark, the position of the letter in the sentence and the letters around it all affect the outcome]. This doesn't mean that they don't have associated noises though.

They have a total of 20 letters so far [they might've had more in the oldest times, where Feeling was more popular [as it is more precise, down to telling arc minutes and seconds]].

These letters are angles growing 10 by 10, starting at a 10° angle up until 180°. This brings two doubts- one regarding the 180° angle that isnt really an angle, and the other of the remaining 2 letters. The 180° letter is a dash of brightness on the page, the next letter is a 1° angle resembling a line's point, and the last one is a semi circular bump. These are referred to as 0° and 360° for simplicity.

Their writing is designed to make the best out of the little space they have for writing.

#flatland #flatbuilding #speculative worldbuilding #worldbuilding

8 notes · View notes

valorxdrive · 8 months

Note

https://youtu . be/rBSuDFL8uAk?si=ZWd7amG-HUznB-jF

^ good question

It's more of a forward question to me.

The answer? Yes, Sora is a happy person and is happy. It just never meant it's the only thing that he comes to feel, just like anyone else.

_____

I sat down and watched the video and had my agreements and disagreements. A primary thing being I believe the nuances of some scenes they picked (primarily in KH1 and CoM) aren't done in good faith. While in 1 the 'Toxic positivity' I heavily disagree with as that throws Donald and Goofy in bad faith. A genuine line has to be seen for the situation. 1. The Gummi ship will literally power down on heavy despair, but secondly, it's important to have a solid foundation in his circumstance of helping the worlds as being off his game can quite literally get him killed.

As for CoM, we can't even say that's completely Sora as the Namine rewrites of memory are also Namine projecting her perception. Similar to Riku replica, her power was drawing a level of mind control that altered a touch of his qualities. Where he was gaining a touch of that KH1 Riku energy in the CoM part of the series. A centralized, obsessive focus that is not him and leading him to do things he normally never would. (That snap argument at his allies in this particular way shows that the Castle (Namine) was doing exactly what Marluxia warned, even though he's orchestrating that. The goal was to confuse and deceive.) When we see the truth of Sora's decision after learning of the manipulations, we're seeing that GENUINE him at the forefront again.

Now if we're to bring in the conversation about his self-doubt, that he belittles himself and what he can truly do, this is where I'm really listening. Yes! This has been a long running chord of weakness through him, further exacerbated by the Organization and with instances in KH3. A Keyblade War was on the horizon and naturally such a cataclysm, creation ending event can even get the best on edge. He needs to be ready and there's the creeping horror he may not hold his appropriate weight against the machinations of Xehanort.

What I believe this video is trying to highlight is that like everyone else, he has weaknesses. They show and so do the cracks. However, what it heavily sleeps on is good faith in Sora's nature as a person. He's someone who enjoys looking on the brighter side, to recognize the grim and rough aspects and try to see a horizon beyond that.

Despite this being a journey to help make things right, he loves the fact he's out there to a degree too, seeing new worlds, meeting new people and taking the pain of his past and applying it to a more positive outcome. Does he miss home? Yes. Is he still dealing with a wealth of other issues deep within? Also yes. Does he hide that self-doubt until it all shatters at the Keyblade Graveyard? Absolutely.

I believe this video just leans too hard in trying to show a 'tortured soul' aspect in the effort of showcasing these humanizing qualities.

I'm fully aware that a nice chunk KH fanbase can be blind in considering him a one note if the pain isn't forwardly displayed on screen. (Or maybe more 'impactful' and dramatized cutscenes?) This felt like it could've taken the value of his character more into account in my opinion.

#Anon #| Bottle Mail #Gave this my fair shake #He does have a tendency to get burned while being true #but needs some refining in my opinion

5 notes · View notes

lcstinthestars · 1 year

Text

Introducing Jean Grey

THE BASICS;

NAME: Jean Elaine Grey

ALIAS(ES): Jeannie, Marvel Girl, Phoenix

AGE: Thirty-One

PRONOUNS & GENDER: Female She/Her

BIRTHDAY & ZODIAC: October 27th , Scorpio

FACECLAIM: Lily James

AESTHETICS: unkept fiery red hair. Comfy sweaters and hot coffee. a broken thousand yard stare. a genius mind shrouded with doubt and uncertainty.

A DEEPER LOOK;

BACKGROUND: Earth 616 canon. I’m still refreshing my knowledge on some of Jean’s canon as I’m only human (and sadly not made of unlimited time to read comics) Here are some of the highlights. Jean’s mutation manifested itself after witnessing the death of her childhood best friend. Her powers were later suppressed for her own good by Charles Xavier. She was recruited for Xaviers School for Gifted Children and became one of the first X-men along side Cyclops, Beast, Iceman and Angel. Under Xaviers tutelage their goal was to help bring a peaceful co-existence between humans and mutants. The young team was displaced in time after being approached by a ‘Future’ version of Beast who needed their help to solve a doomsday level threat developing in the future. Jean’s time traveling unlocked her telepathy a year earlier then when she was supposed to develop it in her original unchanged time line. Here the team met future versions of themselves and Jean was blindsided with the realization her and Cyclops were together in the future. (albeit Jean didn’t even recognize the personality of Scott’s older self.) Jean and her connection to the phoenix force created many issues in Jean’s life. The two seemingly intertwined on a cosmic level. Jean at many points was desperate to rid herself of it. Warned by the ghost of her future-self, Jean tried to prevent herself from being bonded with it in the first place. She was sent to meet a future version of herself, which happened to just be The Phoenix Force. Impressed and desperate to change her future she tried to alter the timeline but was prevented by the watchers and returned to her own time. Jean graduated from Xaviers school and would later return as a teacher after receiving her own degrees while away at college. Jean became a vocal mutant rights activist and tried to find a way to live at peace with the Phoenix force who so desperately wanted complete control of her body. The Phoenix force would eventually be corrupted into the Dark Phoenix by The Hellfire Club and Mastermind. The Dark Phoenix would become a dark cloud over Jean’s future. Jean wasn’t a killer but The Phoenix had no qualms and left a trail of death in her wake when she lost control. After her last seperation from the Phoenix Force, Jean signed up for the program in hopes of changing her future once and for all.

WEAPONS: She is a weapon.

POWERS/ABILITIES/SKILLS: Jean is an Omega Level mutant without her connection to the Phoenix force giving her Omega leve powers of Telepathy, Empathy, Telekinesis

GREATEST STRENGTH: Her moral compass

GREATEST WEAKNESS/FLAW: Mental Instability

ONE FEAR: Never being good enough

ONE HOPE: She can be the person everyone always saw her as.

HEADCANON(S): Jean has a strong head about her, which has made her a powerful but wise leader in the past. Jean is slow to trust but once she trusts you, she would break the world to keep you safe. Jean often struggles with the fact that she was never trusted with the full extent of her powers until way later in life then most mutants. It makes her doubt herself and her abilities

THE QUESTIONNAIRE;

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT BEING DROPPED INTO THE CAMBRIA PROGRAM? ARE THEY EXCITED? SUSPICIOUS? CONFUSED? Relieved.

WHAT DOES YOUR CHARACTER HOPE TO SEE THE MOST DURING THE CAMBRIA ONE’S JOURNEY? She hopes to make new discoveries and find her own way.

IF YOUR CHARACTER COULD BRING ONE THING OR PERSON FROM HOME, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Storm.

#cambria:intro

2 notes · View notes

publicdomainbooks · 2 years

Text

CHAPTER IX.

Captain Wentworth was come to Kellynch as to a home, to stay as long as he liked, being as thoroughly the object of the Admiral’s fraternal kindness as of his wife’s. He had intended, on first arriving, to proceed very soon into Shropshire, and visit the brother settled in that country, but the attractions of Uppercross induced him to put this off. There was so much of friendliness, and of flattery, and of everything most bewitching in his reception there; the old were so hospitable, the young so agreeable, that he could not but resolve to remain where he was, and take all the charms and perfections of Edward’s wife upon credit a little longer.

It was soon Uppercross with him almost every day. The Musgroves could hardly be more ready to invite than he to come, particularly in the morning, when he had no companion at home, for the Admiral and Mrs Croft were generally out of doors together, interesting themselves in their new possessions, their grass, and their sheep, and dawdling about in a way not endurable to a third person, or driving out in a gig, lately added to their establishment.

Hitherto there had been but one opinion of Captain Wentworth among the Musgroves and their dependencies. It was unvarying, warm admiration everywhere; but this intimate footing was not more than established, when a certain Charles Hayter returned among them, to be a good deal disturbed by it, and to think Captain Wentworth very much in the way.

Charles Hayter was the eldest of all the cousins, and a very amiable, pleasing young man, between whom and Henrietta there had been a considerable appearance of attachment previous to Captain Wentworth’s introduction. He was in orders; and having a curacy in the neighbourhood, where residence was not required, lived at his father’s house, only two miles from Uppercross. A short absence from home had left his fair one unguarded by his attentions at this critical period, and when he came back he had the pain of finding very altered manners, and of seeing Captain Wentworth.

Mrs Musgrove and Mrs Hayter were sisters. They had each had money, but their marriages had made a material difference in their degree of consequence. Mr Hayter had some property of his own, but it was insignificant compared with Mr Musgrove’s; and while the Musgroves were in the first class of society in the country, the young Hayters would, from their parents’ inferior, retired, and unpolished way of living, and their own defective education, have been hardly in any class at all, but for their connexion with Uppercross, this eldest son of course excepted, who had chosen to be a scholar and a gentleman, and who was very superior in cultivation and manners to all the rest.

The two families had always been on excellent terms, there being no pride on one side, and no envy on the other, and only such a consciousness of superiority in the Miss Musgroves, as made them pleased to improve their cousins. Charles’s attentions to Henrietta had been observed by her father and mother without any disapprobation. “It would not be a great match for her; but if Henrietta liked him,”—and Henrietta did seem to like him.

Henrietta fully thought so herself, before Captain Wentworth came; but from that time Cousin Charles had been very much forgotten.

Which of the two sisters was preferred by Captain Wentworth was as yet quite doubtful, as far as Anne’s observation reached. Henrietta was perhaps the prettiest, Louisa had the higher spirits; and she knew not now, whether the more gentle or the more lively character were most likely to attract him.

Mr and Mrs Musgrove, either from seeing little, or from an entire confidence in the discretion of both their daughters, and of all the young men who came near them, seemed to leave everything to take its chance. There was not the smallest appearance of solicitude or remark about them in the Mansion-house; but it was different at the Cottage: the young couple there were more disposed to speculate and wonder; and Captain Wentworth had not been above four or five times in the Miss Musgroves’ company, and Charles Hayter had but just reappeared, when Anne had to listen to the opinions of her brother and sister, as to which was the one liked best. Charles gave it for Louisa, Mary for Henrietta, but quite agreeing that to have him marry either could be extremely delightful.

Charles “had never seen a pleasanter man in his life; and from what he had once heard Captain Wentworth himself say, was very sure that he had not made less than twenty thousand pounds by the war. Here was a fortune at once; besides which, there would be the chance of what might be done in any future war; and he was sure Captain Wentworth was as likely a man to distinguish himself as any officer in the navy. Oh! it would be a capital match for either of his sisters.”

“Upon my word it would,” replied Mary. “Dear me! If he should rise to any very great honours! If he should ever be made a baronet! ‘Lady Wentworth’ sounds very well. That would be a noble thing, indeed, for Henrietta! She would take place of me then, and Henrietta would not dislike that. Sir Frederick and Lady Wentworth! It would be but a new creation, however, and I never think much of your new creations.”

It suited Mary best to think Henrietta the one preferred on the very account of Charles Hayter, whose pretensions she wished to see put an end to. She looked down very decidedly upon the Hayters, and thought it would be quite a misfortune to have the existing connection between the families renewed—very sad for herself and her children.

“You know,” said she, “I cannot think him at all a fit match for Henrietta; and considering the alliances which the Musgroves have made, she has no right to throw herself away. I do not think any young woman has a right to make a choice that may be disagreeable and inconvenient to the principal part of her family, and be giving bad connections to those who have not been used to them. And, pray, who is Charles Hayter? Nothing but a country curate. A most improper match for Miss Musgrove of Uppercross.”

Her husband, however, would not agree with her here; for besides having a regard for his cousin, Charles Hayter was an eldest son, and he saw things as an eldest son himself.

“Now you are talking nonsense, Mary,” was therefore his answer. “It would not be a great match for Henrietta, but Charles has a very fair chance, through the Spicers, of getting something from the Bishop in the course of a year or two; and you will please to remember, that he is the eldest son; whenever my uncle dies, he steps into very pretty property. The estate at Winthrop is not less than two hundred and fifty acres, besides the farm near Taunton, which is some of the best land in the country. I grant you, that any of them but Charles would be a very shocking match for Henrietta, and indeed it could not be; he is the only one that could be possible; but he is a very good-natured, good sort of a fellow; and whenever Winthrop comes into his hands, he will make a different sort of place of it, and live in a very different sort of way; and with that property, he will never be a contemptible man—good, freehold property. No, no; Henrietta might do worse than marry Charles Hayter; and if she has him, and Louisa can get Captain Wentworth, I shall be very well satisfied.”

“Charles may say what he pleases,” cried Mary to Anne, as soon as he was out of the room, “but it would be shocking to have Henrietta marry Charles Hayter; a very bad thing for her, and still worse for me; and therefore it is very much to be wished that Captain Wentworth may soon put him quite out of her head, and I have very little doubt that he has. She took hardly any notice of Charles Hayter yesterday. I wish you had been there to see her behaviour. And as to Captain Wentworth’s liking Louisa as well as Henrietta, it is nonsense to say so; for he certainly does like Henrietta a great deal the best. But Charles is so positive! I wish you had been with us yesterday, for then you might have decided between us; and I am sure you would have thought as I did, unless you had been determined to give it against me.”

A dinner at Mr Musgrove’s had been the occasion when all these things should have been seen by Anne; but she had staid at home, under the mixed plea of a headache of her own, and some return of indisposition in little Charles. She had thought only of avoiding Captain Wentworth; but an escape from being appealed to as umpire was now added to the advantages of a quiet evening.

As to Captain Wentworth’s views, she deemed it of more consequence that he should know his own mind early enough not to be endangering the happiness of either sister, or impeaching his own honour, than that he should prefer Henrietta to Louisa, or Louisa to Henrietta. Either of them would, in all probability, make him an affectionate, good-humoured wife. With regard to Charles Hayter, she had delicacy which must be pained by any lightness of conduct in a well-meaning young woman, and a heart to sympathize in any of the sufferings it occasioned; but if Henrietta found herself mistaken in the nature of her feelings, the alteration could not be understood too soon.

Charles Hayter had met with much to disquiet and mortify him in his cousin’s behaviour. She had too old a regard for him to be so wholly estranged as might in two meetings extinguish every past hope, and leave him nothing to do but to keep away from Uppercross: but there was such a change as became very alarming, when such a man as Captain Wentworth was to be regarded as the probable cause. He had been absent only two Sundays, and when they parted, had left her interested, even to the height of his wishes, in his prospect of soon quitting his present curacy, and obtaining that of Uppercross instead. It had then seemed the object nearest her heart, that Dr Shirley, the rector, who for more than forty years had been zealously discharging all the duties of his office, but was now growing too infirm for many of them, should be quite fixed on engaging a curate; should make his curacy quite as good as he could afford, and should give Charles Hayter the promise of it. The advantage of his having to come only to Uppercross, instead of going six miles another way; of his having, in every respect, a better curacy; of his belonging to their dear Dr Shirley, and of dear, good Dr Shirley’s being relieved from the duty which he could no longer get through without most injurious fatigue, had been a great deal, even to Louisa, but had been almost everything to Henrietta. When he came back, alas! the zeal of the business was gone by. Louisa could not listen at all to his account of a conversation which he had just held with Dr Shirley: she was at a window, looking out for Captain Wentworth; and even Henrietta had at best only a divided attention to give, and seemed to have forgotten all the former doubt and solicitude of the negotiation.

“Well, I am very glad indeed: but I always thought you would have it; I always thought you sure. It did not appear to me that—in short, you know, Dr Shirley must have a curate, and you had secured his promise. Is he coming, Louisa?”

One morning, very soon after the dinner at the Musgroves, at which Anne had not been present, Captain Wentworth walked into the drawing-room at the Cottage, where were only herself and the little invalid Charles, who was lying on the sofa.

The surprise of finding himself almost alone with Anne Elliot, deprived his manners of their usual composure: he started, and could only say, “I thought the Miss Musgroves had been here: Mrs Musgrove told me I should find them here,” before he walked to the window to recollect himself, and feel how he ought to behave.

“They are up stairs with my sister: they will be down in a few moments, I dare say,” had been Anne’s reply, in all the confusion that was natural; and if the child had not called her to come and do something for him, she would have been out of the room the next moment, and released Captain Wentworth as well as herself.

He continued at the window; and after calmly and politely saying, “I hope the little boy is better,” was silent.

She was obliged to kneel down by the sofa, and remain there to satisfy her patient; and thus they continued a few minutes, when, to her very great satisfaction, she heard some other person crossing the little vestibule. She hoped, on turning her head, to see the master of the house; but it proved to be one much less calculated for making matters easy—Charles Hayter, probably not at all better pleased by the sight of Captain Wentworth than Captain Wentworth had been by the sight of Anne.

She only attempted to say, “How do you do? Will you not sit down? The others will be here presently.”

Captain Wentworth, however, came from his window, apparently not ill-disposed for conversation; but Charles Hayter soon put an end to his attempts by seating himself near the table, and taking up the newspaper; and Captain Wentworth returned to his window.

Another minute brought another addition. The younger boy, a remarkable stout, forward child, of two years old, having got the door opened for him by some one without, made his determined appearance among them, and went straight to the sofa to see what was going on, and put in his claim to anything good that might be giving away.

There being nothing to eat, he could only have some play; and as his aunt would not let him tease his sick brother, he began to fasten himself upon her, as she knelt, in such a way that, busy as she was about Charles, she could not shake him off. She spoke to him, ordered, entreated, and insisted in vain. Once she did contrive to push him away, but the boy had the greater pleasure in getting upon her back again directly.

“Walter,” said she, “get down this moment. You are extremely troublesome. I am very angry with you.”

“Walter,” cried Charles Hayter, “why do you not do as you are bid? Do not you hear your aunt speak? Come to me, Walter, come to cousin Charles.”

But not a bit did Walter stir.

In another moment, however, she found herself in the state of being released from him; some one was taking him from her, though he had bent down her head so much, that his little sturdy hands were unfastened from around her neck, and he was resolutely borne away, before she knew that Captain Wentworth had done it.

Her sensations on the discovery made her perfectly speechless. She could not even thank him. She could only hang over little Charles, with most disordered feelings. His kindness in stepping forward to her relief, the manner, the silence in which it had passed, the little particulars of the circumstance, with the conviction soon forced on her by the noise he was studiously making with the child, that he meant to avoid hearing her thanks, and rather sought to testify that her conversation was the last of his wants, produced such a confusion of varying, but very painful agitation, as she could not recover from, till enabled by the entrance of Mary and the Miss Musgroves to make over her little patient to their cares, and leave the room. She could not stay. It might have been an opportunity of watching the loves and jealousies of the four—they were now altogether; but she could stay for none of it. It was evident that Charles Hayter was not well inclined towards Captain Wentworth. She had a strong impression of his having said, in a vext tone of voice, after Captain Wentworth’s interference, “You ought to have minded me, Walter; I told you not to teaze your aunt;” and could comprehend his regretting that Captain Wentworth should do what he ought to have done himself. But neither Charles Hayter’s feelings, nor anybody’s feelings, could interest her, till she had a little better arranged her own. She was ashamed of herself, quite ashamed of being so nervous, so overcome by such a trifle; but so it was, and it required a long application of solitude and reflection to recover her.

#persuasion

0 notes

rahullkohli · 2 years

Text

i wanna talk about the dynamic between ed and lucius, because i feel like people tend to either completely brush it off as non-existent, or as lucius only having ed’s attention because lucius is close to stede, and i think that is a huge disservice, as i see the relationship between the two characters as incredibly nuanced. and this is gonna be really freaking long i’m so sorry.

it’s widely accepted that stede is the only person to ever be truly upfront with ed, but while i agree to some extent that stede is true to himself around ed, i think that lucius to a much greater degree is the absolutely only person who fully does not think thée great blackbeard is The Shit. before ed shows up on the revenge lucius does seem to think the mystery about this legend character is enticing, but the second he actually meets ed all of that washes away. he is the one person who continuously stands up to ed, and tells him to treat stede right. lucius sees very quickly (what stede himself doesn’t even see) that the chemistry between ed and stede is growing more romantic, and it is lucius’ instinct to be protective of this captain he didn’t even like about a week or two prior to ed showing up. lucius even showed up on the island with the biggest bitch attitude to hand deliver a breakup box when ed left with calico jack.

and what i see is that ed respects that about lucius. stede actually did try to embellish his own persona in front of ed; trying to seem tougher than he is, trying to impress ed again and again - he might not have changed himself, but he did bend over backwards to make a good impression. but ed saw that lucius didn’t. there was never any doubt where lucius’ loyalty was, and it was with his own captain. and we see ed look to lucius when he is unsure about stede, because he knows the way to a dude’s heart is through his reluctant gay bestie.

then when ed returned from running away from the british navy, lucius is the only person ed opens up to. aside from stede, lucius is the only person ed is truly vulnerable with, and confides to directly. he invites lucius into his blanket fort, he tells lucius about this raw pain that he is feeling, even if he does try to thinly veil it as about someone else.

and this part is the most important to me; i think ed sees in lucius what he wishes he could be himself. lucius is openly gay, and very vocal about his gayness. he doesn’t take on the big responsible roles, because he truly does not want them. he is soft, and kind, and so gentle with people who are in a bad way. he doesn’t put a big thing into making people like him, and he is honest with people around him, and still finding the balance in how to be that in the way the situation requires. he can be mean and vicious, but only when people deserve it. in many ways, he is just like stede. he is also fiercely protective of the people he cares about, and he is definitely down to clown.

which brings me to the last episode. ed goes through this massive transformation of being broken and vulnerable, to having izzy’s words snap him back to his old alter ego of blackbeard. i’ve seen a lot of different reasons for how people sees the scene of ed pushing lucius overboard; that he just snapped, that it was to solidify his newfound edginess, that he always thought lucius was annoying, etc. but i truly, deeply in my soul see lucius as being someone ed has grown to care about, and he couldn’t have that around anymore. ed got rid of stede’s possessions, his crew - it was basically that taylor swift video where she burns all of her ex’s things in a fit of rage. so why didn’t ed just drop lucius off at the island along with the others? because lucius is a physical manifestation of the memory of stede, but also of that inner core of ed that he had buried so deep inside but slowly started letting out from knowing stede. when ed looks at lucius he sees both stede, the man he loves but he believes doesn’t love him back, but also the person he wishes he could be himself. kind, gentle, embracing his feminine side, not caring about who knows he’s gay, and someone who is loyal and protective of the people he loves. by pushing lucius overboard, ed is not only pushing away stede’s memory, he is also trying to kill the part of himself that he had only just started to embrace.

i wanna keep ranting about my love for the relationship between these two, but this is already so long. now i just really fucking hope s2 will fix this, because i need ed and lucius to be best friends and confidants.

#edward teach #lucius spriggs #ofmd talk #ofmd #our flag means death #i don't even know how to tag this #i'll probably post this and in five minutes wish i had written something differently #tv #tv:our flag means death #queer tv

675 notes · View notes

warlordgab · 4 years

Text

LuNa analysis: Emotional and Intellectual chemistry

This is a special edition meant to help a friend explain this aspect of Luffy and Nami's relationship as potrayed in Oda's works (excludes the anime adaptation). It's no something truly new, it's more like a summary of multiple analyses made in this blog and other places.

The first time we mentioned this particular subject in this blog, the idea was to showcase the difference between "sexual tension" and the concept of chemistry.

Shallow fans sometimes used both terms interchangeably as if they were the same thing. Well, they're not.

Chemistry refers to the natural connection between two persons, a common feeling between two characters that leaves a impact strong enough to move their hearts and stimulate their minds. Needless to say, it's something complex, sometimes subtle, but very appealing.

It's not something tied to sexual attraction, and it's definitively not a mere infatuation. It's something much deeper than that...

However, some popular newcomers to the One Piece community mistake this concept with "dynamic." They may focus on character(s) they grow fond with, and then claim their dynamic is a sign of "chemistry" because of how much they like it.

The "character dynamics" would refer to the way characters work with or against each other within the story. While chemistry is about how the characters bond with each other throughout the story.

But then, how does LuNa showcase actual chemistry? By relying on more than one kind of chemistry.

We've seen it before, the development of a bond that grows naturally through mutual trust/faith, with the most importat trait being the capability of regulating the partner's emotions.

This kind of chemistry is marked by emotional support producing a remarkable attachment. In such a relationship, the distressed person feels comfortable enough to express their anxiety, grief, and helplessness to their partner because said partner is capable of providing with relief, comfort, and/or hope.

It's probably starting to sound familiar, right? LuNa fans would certainly think of Arlong Park and the pass of the hat, a gesture that provided Nami with the relief and hope she needed to stand up and keep going.

But, we have the moments from Skypiea too:

When she was overwhelmed by fear and doubts, Luffy does something similar, but this time is to remind Nami that she's the companion of the future Pirate King, and as such, she has nothing to fear. It was so effective that it led to a remarkable character moment from Nami, and her brief skirmish with Enel, in which she drew courage from her captain. That creates enough confidence for Nami to open her heart when there's something troubling her. Remember Water 7? After learning the truth about Robin's desertion, and shortly after missing the train Robin got in, Nami didn't seem distressed at all. In fact, she got up determined and unwilling to give up. But, how did she act when she got the chance to explain the truth to Luffy?

She and displayed the helplessness, frustration, and sadness she truly felt when she got to Luffy.

A smilar scene plays out when we get to Zou. Sanji was taken away, and while Nami seemed ok and even elated at the fact Luffy and the rest are back, is when she's in Luffy's arms that she once again expresses how helpless and anguished she feels...

This is how emotional chemistry looks like! It's not about meaningless flattery, flowery words, nor a mere infatuation. It's about growing attached to one another through a strong companionship, mutual trust/faith, offering support/comfort when needed.

Now, true chemistry occurs when characters affect each other in meaningful ways. And Nami also has an effect on Luffy. When Oda wrote the Strong World movie, we get to see how she affects her captain. When Nami got no other choice but leave a message in which she seemingly doubts Luffy's strength and capabilities, Luffy reacts this way...

This shows how much Luffy values the perception Nami has of him.

Another perceptive reader explained the difference between this situation and Ennies Lobby. During that massive rescue mission "Luffy is angry at Robin for not worrying about her own safety." In Strong World, the idea of Nami not believing in him is something Luffy takes personal. And as explained in multiple posts, we later learn Nami never stopped believing in Luffy, and the idea of Luffy hearing about it was pretty embarrassing to her.

Well, what about Intellectual Chemistry?

This is a tricky one, because most people think is having a similar level of intelligence. But, even in real life, it's pretty likely potential partners have different degrees of education, so they're not always going to perfectly click or match in this regard.

Then, how people can develop this kind of chemistry under such circumstances? One of concepts of intellectual chemistry is the capability of challenging each other's perspective and beliefs on subjects and matters relevant to both persons.

LuNa fits the second bit, for the greatest challenge each character's perspective has is the other's...

...Nami’s character from the very beginning had a very clear distate for pirates and had trouble trusting others. Her perspective served as not only a contrast to Luffy's idealism, but also as a challenge Luffy and his ideals had to actively overcome. This kind of chemistry covers other aspects that, even people who are not fond of LuNa, could see and mention. For example:

Unlike Zoro, Robin, and others crewmates who, more often than not, go along with Luffy's course of action without questioning their captain, Nami is usually the one who challenges Luffy's decisions. It makes sense given Nami's role, as she herself explained in Weatheria...

While Luffy is the one who chooses where to go, Nami is the only one can get him where he wants to go. She seeks to provide Luffy with the guidance he needs to survive his journey. She’s the compass leading Luffy towards his adventures.

Now, Intellectual Chemistry not only consists of challenging each other’s perspectives, it’s also about openly discussing each other’s ideas with the right mindset, not because you’re trying to win an argument, but as a mean to learn more about your partner, and as a result, you get to better understand that significant person and both parts work together as a team.

In this regard, it's true Nami is one who questions Luffy the most, but she doesn't actively try to change his mind, instead she attempts to get Luffy to rationalize his choices. And once Luffy voices out his reasons and/or motivations for doing something, she offers her assitance and full support. We see one example in Skypiea:

At first, she questions why Luffy is making such a great effort to climb the beanstalk and fight Enel a second time, Nami even urges him to stop and flee with her. She keeps pushing until Luffy clearly states why he's not running away.

Nami could easily run away on her own, but as soon as she understands Luffy’s reasons, she stays, and they’re able to work together to ride the beanstalk so Luffy can finally defeat Enel.

This is not one-sided either. If we go to the Dressrosa arc, we got Nami communicating Luffy her plan of splitting into two teams to keep Ceasar and Momonosuke away from Doflamingo.

And Luffy not only fully supports her idea, he even follows it up with a mission for the team that stayed at Dressrosa.

Another possible example could be one particular scene from the Zou arc. Luffy’s original intent was going to rescue Sanji on his own...

...until Nami reminds him how much he needs her and her navigation skills to keep going. Luffy accepts the reasons she gave him, and alters his original plan accordingly.

We can find other moments to showcase this aspect of their relationship, but to make things short, we can sum it up like this: when their different perspectives clash, they challenge each other’s ideas to the point of gaining a better understanding of each other, and end up acting according to that understanding, they display Intellectual chemistry.

Bonus: Physical Chemistry?

I wasn't going to include this one, but given a japanese fan brought it up ages ago, I decided to leave a couple of scenes that may fit the concept.

That japanese fan based his comment on Strong World, the movie written by Oda. To make it short, physical chemistry doesn't necessarily means "sex" either, it really comes down to how comfortable a person feels with their partner. However, the details and quirks in this particular kind of chemistry vary from people to people. Just like it can vary from writer to writer.

We often mentioned in this blog certain moment in Fishman Island, where Nami had no problem with Luffy wrapping himself around her...

...she indeed bickered with Luffy, but it was about Luffy's wanting to venture through a dangerous route rather than their physical closeness. A nice way to show how comfortable she feels around him. In contrast, she doesn't pull any punches, or thunders, when punishing people for pervying around her. Something that remains consitent even in the Wano arc (at least in the original source: the manga) Regardless of whether or not these count as “physical chemistry,” we can still appreciate how Oda crafted a solid emotional chemistry, and intellectual chemistry as well, in the way he wrote Luffy and Nami.

#one piece #luffy x nami #LuNa #lunami #chemistry #analysis #ルナミ

475 notes · View notes

the-big-nope · 3 years

Text

Since “the campaign is ending soon” declarations are flying around again, here’s a list of hanging plot threads that indicate why that’s probably not the case.

(For organization’s sake, the points are separated by Major Plots (plot threads that would probably consist of around 10-15 episodes per arc, if not longer), Lesser Plots (smaller scale elements that could be resolved in 1-3 episodes), and Speculative (stuff that isn’t a guarantee but I’ve got hunches about).

Major Plots

1. The Eyes of Nine/Nonagon/Eiselcross plot the M9 are currently pursuing. I can understand to a degree why people are getting endgame vibes off of this (Matt’s been foreshadowing it since the beginning, it certainly feels big enough to be the climactic threat), but just learning about the threat doesn’t necessarily mean it’s set to trigger the endgame. Vox Machina found out about Vecna way back in the Briarwood arc, and that didn’t become an active concern until way later.

2. Taking on the Cerberus Assembly. Less world-altering in its urgency or danger, but I would be very shocked if this wasn’t addressed and resolved in some way before the campaign is over. Cleaning up the empire has been a stated personal goal for both Beau and Caleb for some time now. The NPCs most tied to Caleb’s backstory are here, and Caleb’s arc probably wouldn’t feel complete without some kind of resolution with those three characters. Additionally, the Cerberus Assembly is emblematic of the moral grayness and corruption of power themes that have pervaded this campaign. Matt’s made it a point to have several NPCs talk about how “the outward war may be over but the conflict goes on,” or “things are the way they are so why bother trying to change them.” That idea of fighting a corrupt status quo despite tradition and historical precedent trying to tell you “that’s just how things are” seems to be a story Matt’s trying to engage the characters in, and regardless of the outcome they’ll get from it, I feel like it’s going to come up at some point, and the Cerberus Assembly seems like the best means of exploring it.

3. Fjord, Uk’otoa, and the other Titans. Yeah, it’s kinda vital that Fjord and the others find some permanent way to resolve this, because I don’t think there’s any way of properly concluding Fjord’s story without it. Fjord’s never going to be content hiding on land for the rest of his life with the key; he swore the Oath of the Open Seas, and he loves the ocean despite all the dangers it’s thrown at him. He’s never going to be free to embrace who he is and who he really wants to be as long as Uk’otoa stands in the way. On top of that, though this is kinda speculative and not guaranteed to become relevant to this campaign, there are the other titan creatures that were depicted on the temple walls alongside Uk’otoa on Urukayxl. I don’t want to go into too much detail about those because EGTW spoilers, but given the prevailing theme of both ‘nine’ and ‘eyes,’ with nine total eye-shaped keys needed to free these three beings, as well as the foreshadowing circus performance Matt narrated in the first episode, they might well be tied into the greater plot that seems to be unfolding in Eiselcross.

Lesser Plots

1. Essek. Love him or hate him, Essek has ingrained himself as one of the primary NPCs of this campaign. He’s played a major role in the events of the story, he’s informed the arcs of several of the PCs, and formed reasonably strong bonds with a few of them. Seeing some kind of resolution with him, whether he takes the M9′s second chance to heart or wades right back into making the same mistakes, seeing where he lands in the end would be quite a shame to miss.

2. Zuala’s Grave and Yasha’s Tribe. This might be more in speculative territory, because it’s absolutely possible Yasha could decide that chapter of her life is closed for good, and she’s found all the healing she needs with the M9. However, her love for Zuala is strong enough that I believe she’d want to have that last, proper farewell, even if she has healed enough to move on with her life, and closing in that final gap in her memory might be too alluring to ignore.

Speculative

1. Tharizdun. I put this in speculative because even though Tharizdun is a big deal, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to be making a return appearance. Vox Machina came across several references to and artifacts of Orcus, but never encountered him during the campaign. However, since he was tied directly to Yasha’s backstory, and Matt made a point of explaining that Tharizdun and the Luxon are similar but antithetical entities that might be closely related, I’m not counting him out of the race yet (or the Luxon either if I’m being honest, I just have less to go off of with that one).

2. Molaesmyr. Am I the only one that thinks Cad’s personal plot isn’t as wrapped up as it appears? I could see the transformed residuum acting as protection for just the Blooming Grove, but I highly doubt it’s going to cure the whole Savalierwood. Whether that’s going to be resolved by the M9 or not, I don’t know, but considering that A) what I said above, B) Ludinus Da’leth originally came from Molaesmyr, and C) this was where Star Razor was sundered, there are enough points of connection that I don’t quite trust it to sit quietly and not make any trouble.

With all of that to consider, not to mention any other side quests, personal plot beats, and other unexpected twists we cannot yet predict, I think we’ve got a good while yet before we say goodbye to the Mighty Nein.

#critical role #they might not go all the way to level 20 #but i'm betting on them making it to 17 at least #and if there's still more story to tell #they'll keep going #the tale is over when it's over

278 notes · View notes

coldmorte · 3 years

Note

So i have some unpopular opinions; i feel like Dutch doesnt sleep around as much as people would like to think. He probably likes the fact that people think that of him, even if its not his style. Also...i dont think Dutch and Molly have any chemistry.

Howdy! (ASK 1 OF 2)

I apologize it took me some time to actually reply to this, especially because it is such a great ask! I definitely agree with both points made here, but I was debating how I wanted to write a response (and how far to take it).

Anyway, I'm open to hearing unpopular opinions! I know I have plenty of my own, so I'm not really one to judge others (as long as there is mutual respect) ☺️

My response is fairly long, and it deals with some sensitive topics. I decided to add a cut to this first ask, just to be safe! 💜💜💜

(Warning: SPOILERS below)

In regard to Dutch sleeping around, there are a few reasons why I don’t think he does it as much as it is often implied/assumed (I’m primarily limiting this to the timeframe of RDR2, Ch. 1-6).

First of all, Molly explicitly says Dutch doesn’t show her a lot of physical attention, even though he is her SO. If he’s not sleeping with her much, I doubt that he is going around with any other women at this time. He seldom leaves camp, outside of doing missions, so it is unlikely that he would meet up with anybody not in the gang. It just doesn’t seem plausible to me, as it would put him in a vulnerable position.

Dutch complains multiple times - including to Molly - that he is under stress and concerned about the Pinkertons closing in on them. Why would he go around outside the camp sleeping with random women? It would put him at the risk of being seen or reported on, and I believe he is smarter than to take on the unnecessary danger. Generally, he doesn’t spend much time in civilized areas, unless he needs to.

Not to mention, stress can be a real inhibitor of sex drive. For the entirety of the game, Dutch exhibits various degrees of anxiety and depression. I believe the gang and his personal safety were of much more concern to him, thus diminishing his interest in sex.

Speaking of the gang, I don’t personally see Dutch as sleeping around with the women in it that much. He did have a relationship with Susan in the past. Whether anything was still going on between them or not is uncertain, but if there was something, it probably was not serious or very frequent. In RDR1, he also suggests that he slept with Abigail, but if this happened, I doubt it would have occurred during the events of RDR2. They hardly ever interacted, and when Abigail did talk about Dutch, it was almost always in a negative manner. Dutch also showed some interest in Mary-Beth. However, I don’t think it went beyond flirting. She didn’t show much interest in him, and I think word would have gotten around if he tried to force anything, especially to Arthur (I am not going to discuss the events of RDR1 in any more detail here because that is a whole different conversation). But other than them, who else in the gang? There were not enough interactions with other women to suggest there was anything between them and Dutch.

Also, sex was considerably more risky in 1899 than it is today, and the means of contraception were not as dependable. For instance, The Pill didn’t go onto the market for another 60 years, and it was more difficult to get ahold of other birth control methods. This was partly because there were not as many technological advancements in this field and because there were a few laws that prevented reliable access to contraceptives (ex: The Comstock Laws). Condoms were arguably one of the easier birth control methods to find, but they still were not as widely available then as they are today (the quality was arguably not as good either). As I understand it, some searching was generally required to get ahold of condoms (usually in more civilized areas, which Dutch tried to avoid).

Dutch is a very contradictory character. My point in bringing up birth control is because although on some level I think Dutch probably would have liked to have actual children, I do not think he was serious enough about it to take any risks that might have led to an unwanted pregnancy during the timeframe of RDR2. As I mentioned, he was under a lot of stress with the gang. A biological child on top of that most likely would have overwhelmed him, and it would have required a long-term commitment to not only the child, but to the mother as well. I believe Dutch was smart enough to recognize this danger, and since birth control methods were not as widely available or reliable, he would not have wanted to sleep around too much (unwanted pregnancies were relatively common during this era).

I’ve written in the past that I believe Dutch had a certain degree of self-consciousness underneath his pride, so I do agree that he probably would have liked people finding him attractive or seductive. These traits emanate a sense of power and confidence, which would have provided a more favorable presentation of himself to others. These perceptions certainly would have helped to conceal his own self-doubts and insecurities, so he would have welcomed them, rather than try to refute them.

Now, in regard to the chemistry between Dutch and Molly, I agree. I think it was a pretty bad relationship all around. I don’t see its flaws as being entirely one-sided.

I will get into this a little more on the next ask, but I will discuss a few things here first.

Starting with Dutch, I will admit that he could have treated Molly a lot better. Even if he wasn’t happy with her or the status of their relationship, he should have seriously talked to her more. She deserved that, at the very minimum. There were a few instances where she tried to get his attention, and he just brushed her off. Again, like I said, even if he wasn’t very keen on the relationship anymore, he should have at least been honest about that. Then, as I already discussed, he had some mildly flirtatious conversations with Mary-Beth. I certainly do not think this helped matters. It was rude the way he insulted Molly for bringing up his interactions with Mary-Beth and how he pretended he had no idea what Molly was talking about.

Onto Molly, I don’t think she was perfect either. I know Dutch didn’t talk with her nearly as much as he should have, but she didn’t seem to show a whole lot of support for him in return. Dutch expressed that he was feeling stressed and not up to much physical activity, to which she got quite upset. She seemed to turn some arguments towards herself and her needs, with little regard for Dutch’s wellbeing. I do think she was selfish for demanding him to give her something he did not want to give/could not provide. Also, she refused to help the gang find leads or assist with chores, even when told to do so by others (ex: Dutch and Arthur). She tended to act above everybody else, claiming she wasn’t a servant to the needs of the gang as a whole. Though I can respect her sense of independence in that regard, it did show a sense of entitlement. Even Dutch donated to the gang funds, and as the leader, he was the one responsible for overseeing the vast majority of missions they engaged in. Molly was the only person who really did not contribute much. (Side note: Even UNCLE - the laziest bastard in the West - helped with leads and contributions!!)

I will get into this more in the following ask, but although I know she loved Dutch to an extent, I think part of her fascination with him was rooted in infatuation. Little is known about her background, but it is canon that she came from a wealthy and influential family in Ireland. I think part of the reason why she liked Dutch so much was because of the powerful position he held. She frequently lashed out at people who she perceived as challenging the reality of her “love” for him, such as Abigail and Karen. In one instance, Molly even went so far as to slap Karen across the face because she thought Karen was talking negatively about her. There was no evidence to prove or disprove Molly��s beliefs, but it did show that she was pretty sensitive about criticism (whether it was perceived or real) in regard to her relationship with Dutch.

Now, Dutch was wrong to use Molly’s fascination with him and his role in the gang to seduce her. But like I said, both of them had their issues. It was just a bad situation from both sides, and I do not think it should have happened in the first place. I don’t necessarily blame one more than the other. To be honest, I think they each deserved someone who fit them better.

And if I am being even MORE honest, I think Dutch should have stayed with Susan. She loved him, and he made a big mistake in ever giving her up. I believe the events of RDR2 would have turned out very differently, had he kept her closer.

(Ending note: Outside of serious posts - like this one - I know I make quite a few jokes about Dutch on my blog in regard to sexuality, but I do not mean for much of what I say in that regard to be taken *too* seriously. I don’t particularly want to discuss my personal life in the text of this post, but I will say that even if Dutch was a person I knew in real life, I’m not sure I would seriously want anything to happen between us. However, that is another matter entirely that has nothing whatsoever to do with him. I absolutely LOVE his character to death, and my blog will remain dedicated to his role in the RDR story for as long as I am around! That is all that should matter!!!)

Also, it is perfectly fine and normal to separate fiction from reality! It is okay to alter interpretations of Dutch (and/or Molly) for the sake of artistic expression, as long as the reasons can be justified. Furthermore, it is fine to disagree with me!!

I just hope this response gave you a thing or two to consider. Thank you again for sending your message in!! 💜💜💜

25 notes · View notes

plutoswrath · 3 years

Note

what’s your opinion on the recent “confirmed” rising signs of certain idols? i swear they’re just putting in birthdays with no regard for the birth time and calling it a day. shit makes no sense! but i’m the bitch that questions everything unless it adds up. i hate being this way. i need strength in these dark times. what sucks about it tho is that when they give the rising sign out, people don’t question it so they won’t ask for a birth time anymore. also, i doubt idols have the time to get down and dirty with astrology so more often than not i don’t think they’ll care enough to specify or find proper birth time info. the biggest problem here is that i care too much. but i hate when the chart doesn’t add up to the person, ya know? and i feel as though there’s a lot of that.

another big issue is that you can’t always trust the fans that say their time is a certain one. i swear that there’s an idol from the boyz that gave out two different birth times, changing him from either cancer/leo to sag/cap. and with hongjoon from ateez we have a vague post somewhere that claims to know he’s a 29th degree leo rising. this vague ass shit unsettles my 6th house placements and my uranus in 8th. are there any risings you question, even after they’ve been given out? i’d dare to say it’s a taboo thing to do in the astro community. it’s like an unspoken no-no.

I figured I would receive a message like this, as I've seen this topic floating around in the k-astro community for a while. Longer post ahead.

Disclaimer: this is solely my opinion and not directed at anyone specifically.

Am I sceptical about the birth times celebrities (not only idols) give out: Yes, definitely. I generally don't trust people who just casually and randomly give out their birth time to begin with, because most people really don't know their birth time out of their head (which is fine btw, I didn't either before I got into astrology), and especially since the birth times are suspiciously enough always rounded, it should be clear that mostly they are just vaguely guessed if they are real to begin with. Here comes another big factor to consider, which I think some people possibly haven't considered yet, but idols specifically - which are already bothered by people being too nosy about their life (yes i'm talking about stalkers specifically here) - have to act for their fans a certain way and be likable, they are used to simply giving fans what they want to hear at this point. And I'm not saying every idol/celebrity is fake and a liar but secifically idols are probably so fed up with people being obnoxiously in their life to begin with, that even when people ask for their birth time I can see them just giving out any time to please the fan. I mean, they aren't stupid, some probably know that there is a k-astro community and in general the birth time is a personal and intimate information for some and asking for it can creep people out (fellow astrology enthusiasts will know lol). This is something people have to consider at a point, because yes, as you said yourself, I've heard some stories about idols 'confirming' their birth time as well, only to give out another, very different time later.

So yes, always be suspicious about the birth times they give out. Just because they themselves said it, doesn't mean it's safe information.

But now, onto another big point: I think it's totally fine for people, especially newbies of astrology, to take these birth times and theorize and kind of 'play around' with it. As long as you state that the information isn't safe and you're just theorizing - which for me is already enough with people using 'could' and 'might be' more often when they are analysing someone's rising sign - it's okay. People learn astrology by having the opportunities to make a chart fit, just as you said yourself and using birth charts to test and proof astrological knowledge is very common and normal (to a certain extent). Also, another huge factor: for a lot of people astrology is fun, just as kpop is fun for most people. As much as I use astrology as an educational tool and try to post educational posts so people can start applying the rules of astrology themselves, not everyone has this approach to astrology (yet) and that is okay. Nowdays in our current zeitgeist and the way popculture is build and grows we have to accept that not everyone is using astrology as an educational, serious tool and they just want to have fun with it, no matter how one defines this fun eventually. To give a personal example, I'm very focused on the educational, more serious part of astrology and for me, theorizing about celebrities Ascendants is one of the funnier, light-hearded parts in astrology I allow myself next to my 'serious' work I do (doing readings, studying astrology, educational posts/answers, etc) because I myself need that balance too or else I'd burn out quickly. You not only need the seriousness and dedication for the astrological study (or any study in general asdfgh), but it should evoke some sort of passion/truth in you as well that keeps you going, and that definitely includes the more 'fun parts' as well.

Another point I want to touch on: idols play (to a certain extent, some more, some less) a role. They keep their life for the most part very private. To say we can make the chart fit by the knowledge we have about their life and self is already very dangerous. That includes life events, their character, as well as their connections, etc. We don't know them personally, we don't know their life story and events, and will never have a clear picture over their character. Celebrities are constantly performing for an audience, this will ultimately alter the way their birth chart plays out, so I think we also have to contextualize the way we read and theorize about their birth charts/Ascendant to begin with. Because of that, keep your interpretations as neutral as possible, and especially with idols; don't project too much and let your wishful thinking or possible sensationalism over possible 'juicy facts' influence your theory, especially if you try to understand the structural part of astrology. Remind yourself that you are reading possibilities, because the birth chart owner will never be able to embody each and every single potential the birth chart offers (that's just not how life works lol).

So to conclude: as long as you make sure that the information about the birth times given is not taken as a fact and just a theory/possibility it is fine to take those birth times and theorize! But always fact check your source and remember that not everyone who says their birth time actually knows it. Astrology already has a big problem with the credibility of sources and thus making a lot of research vague/hard to use, so if you really want to get more serious about it after a while you have to remember that.

To your last question: the rising signs for the bts members, I couldn't find any source for them, so I don't take them serious. Same with Haechan 'confirming' his rising sign - I've read he once said it was around 12/12:30 pm before, so I don't take the 6pm too seriously too. And I am also stll skeptical about Johnny's and Kun's birth times asdfghjkl and I guess for now I can' think of any other birth time for an idol 🤠

#replies #anonymous #ehhhhh idk how to tag this #astrology #astro hot take #pFFFF #astro opinion

17 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years

Text

get in we’re pondering / extrapolating some pt lore (there’s a tl;dr paragraph at the very end ;w;)

often musing about the overarching Theme/s in the series where there's like, these axes of, hope vs despair, self sacrifice (often to protect others) vs being protected by others (often to prevent self sacrifice), and i was thinking about how those protective self sacrifices (which often generally contain some aspect of hope And despair, the former in that someone is taking an action in the hopes of protecting someone, the latter in that they don't have any hope of any less (potentially) self destructive course to pursue to achieve that, or else they'd be doing that instead) do succeed at least in part. we don't really know what's going on with tutu in the story besides disappearing / turning into a point of light, but she exists outside of the story too and manifests in ways clearly associated with hope, & i think we can infer that her appearance/disappearance in the story did have this effect for mytho in giving him hope b/c like, how can it be a coincidence that the heart shard of Hope happens to be the one used to let someone become tutu, or that mytho was able to feel hope prior to technically have the capacity for it when thinking about her and then recognize as much in retrospect. and mytho himself sacrifices his own heart to protect everyone from the raven, rue sacrificing herself saves mytho from the raven in turn, and what i'm getting around to is that i was thinking about how sacrifices are never in vain, except for the knight's, but then i was like, well hey, what if because the rules of this story do seem to Always Reward tragic self sacrifices (surely at least in part to Incentivize it from the characters, b/c the sacrifices made wholly out of despair are apparently just people losing their hearts to the raven, f, and characters making sacrifices in the hopes of protecting someone have to actually have that hope at all), maybe the knight's death wasn't really Useless

and maybe it's relevant that the knight presumably wasn't intending to die right then, there's no implication that like, he was pushing the prince out of the way taking a bullet for him, just that the knight meant to attack the raven but didn't even manage to do that and got killed instead. but i think we can suppose that the knight was just always willing to die for the prince and there's this degree of inherent sacrifice in that already, as well as in being so devoted to the prince and protecting him, which the knight must've done plenty of even if, in the moment he was killed, there was no direct achievement in protecting mytho / siegfried / the prince. and i doubt that the way the prince felt about it was actually like "oh my god, useless" rather than that the knight did die For Him, even if mytho wasn't in immediate mortal danger that could've only been thwarted by the knight's death, and even if the knight presumably didn't Know he would die and actually choose that, because of accepting it as his only option to protect mytho. and it's evident throughout the series that characters being Real allows them to act in ways drosselmeyer doesn't predict or hasn't directed them to act or doesn't even necessarily know about, thinking of details like, mytho knowing his name is siegfried doesn't seem to come from any Text of drosselmeyer's in the story, or else people would know the prince has a name besides "the prince," and who knows, maybe drosselmeyer's unwritten hcs are part of the reality of his stories lol, but that's a fun mystery element, and beyond that these characters were all people with full lives and interiority that were not / could not have been written in full detail in the story's text and almost certainly weren't / couldn't have been Thought Out in full by drosselmeyer like that.

and i'm just thinking about how the knight is the only prominent character who outright dies in the unfinished story, aside from various, presumably not individually described/named people in the kingdom being killed by the raven, and possible details not mentioned in the series, like idk, whether or not mytho's parent/s died at some point in the course of the story. tutu's disappearance is too ambiguously magical to really call it a death, although it's a Tragic Fate intended to write her out of the story, and there's no indication of kraehe / the concept of The Raven's Daughter existing in the story, since in the first season kraehe is really fully standing in for the raven as the main villain / antagonist, with the raven not being shown or mentioned by her until the second season, and fakir just directly referring to kraehe as a crow or raven during that first season, and what with the idea in the second season that rue was just some random person the raven stole and presumably made up the concept of there being a [the raven's daughter] role.

(even though when kraehe appears in season one it's clearly a swan lake / odile thing, and i guess you could conceivably wonder like "hey, is she the daughter of some rothbart equivalent here. like the story raven as the primary antagonist"....that's all Meta beyond the series's metatextual layers and, since idk, characters know of these other classic ballets, i guess it's possible swan lake as a ballet exists too. nobody's mentioning anything though lol. now i'm like.....okay so another tchaikovsky composed ballet was relevant / known in the sleeping beauty episode, where electricity was also a thing people were aware existed, if rare, not sure when this series was set but late 19th century seems plausible enough and swan lake wasn't immediately popular so maybe it exists but is too niche lore for these characters to be familiar with it lmao.....but then i'm like wait hang on. what if it must be after 1892 because the dance of the sugarplum fairy playing when ahiru walks in on mytho practicing seems to be diagetic. and then i'm like, nijinksy was only born in 1890, and didn't perform afternoon of a faun until 1912, and that seems just a little late, although at the same time everyone's existing in a fairy tale town and it could feasibly be any point in time outside of that. this tangent is going on way too long and my Real Conclusion of course is that we're not really meant to match up any timeline with the In Real Life timelines of when ballets premiered and became popular / established as Classics)

back to the point: out of the four main roles, tutu magically and mysteriously disappeared but didn't outright die the way that the human knight was definitely killed, and the duck who is given her powers / role is apparently truly just some random duck who happened to care for mytho (thinking about his apparent affinity for birds and theirs for him), kraehe was probably not a part of the story at all as the daughter of the raven and rue is apparently just some random baby who was kidnapped, mytho didn't die because he's the same self he was from the story, uninterrupted, and the knight did die, and fakir is just some kid but is also apparently identified as the reincarnation of that knight. and, whether or not that's just some coincidence or meant to be true, it's true for all intents and purposes since fakir found mytho and chose to devote himself to protecting him and is aware of / thinks of himself as the knight, and if the raven and drosselmeyer could've picked some random babies and ducks to have roles in the story, it shouldn't actually be a detriment to fakir if he's actually also just some guy who chose to be the knight rather than also actually already that knight reincarnated. the roles of both tutu and lohengrin are supposed to be intrinsically limited by their same roles as written in the story, where clearly drosselmeyer, wanting conflict and drama and peak effective tragedy, and kraehe / the raven as antagonists to these two, expect and want tutu to willingly vanish again and the knight to wield his sword and, at some point here, die. which, in season one, it seems likely enough that although fakir wasn't exactly instantly torn apart by the raven attack that Got him, he would've died if not for edel's intervention altering the story. anyway, assuming the roles comes from Choosing it / being willing to accept it and having some sort of magical artifact access out here, ahiru having a heart shard, rue having...raven blood and the fact that there's also the like, actual ravens out there who are Also magic b/c they're doing evil stuff, and turning into cursed pointe shoes and attacking canaries so the prince might jump out a window to save one, and fakir having magic swords. as well as, you know, the prince, the most magic artifact of all, truly

i'm kind of losing the point there lmfao just getting into details in a tangent. what i was trying to point out is that yeah, the knight's the only one of the four main roles who was clearly, officially, violently killed in the story. and then i was thinking about how, as far as i can think, it kind of comes totally out of nowhere in season two that like, oh hey, also fakir is a descendent of drosselmeyer's and i guess has that same magic writing ability. not that i think these season two framework shifts like That, or like kraehe being the daughter of the raven instead of just directly standing in for the raven as a concept and character, or like "oh right and also i'd poisoned mytho back in the season one finale" weren't possibly in mind the whole time, Or that if they weren't that's a problem, Or that either way, they needed to be foreshadowed / set up Textually in season one or anything, since you do need to change things up for there to Be a season two that doesn't have to retread the conflicts in the same way, and that's what these shifts allow for. it's still just that the effect is like, oh damn, fakir isn't just The Knight from the story reincarnated, he ALSO happens to have drosselmeyer's magic powers b/c they're related??? wow what a coincidence, that's so lucky for him in affording him Magic Powers that don't come from the story b/c if he wields the power of being the knight he Has to inevitably die, and while the power to write reality is clearly dangerous and Could kill him (or others), there's at least a chance, whereas it seems like otherwise, if you're accessing the powers that come with having a role from the story, you either have to accept the same fate as in the story, someone with the power of those who guide the story, e.g. edel, must externally alter its course, or you have to give up the role and its powers, like ahiru ultimately did by giving up the final piece of mytho's heart, and fakir did by no longer trying to be the knight and instead protecting everyone by figuring out how to wield his power to Write.

so then basically my thought was, hey, maybe it's Not *just* a coincidence that fakir's Also drosselmeyer's descendent. in the same way that it's not Just a coincidence that the original tutu, having made this sacrifice in the story, is somehow, in part or in whole, attached to the prince's feeling of hope, and able to manifest even once that piece of the prince's heart has been returned and ahiru no longer "officially" has access to tutu's role and power (whether that power is gone b/c her powers were all about returning the prince's heart shards or because the powers she had were the prince's, because of having a piece of his heart). there's already these parallels between the roles of this tragic princess and the knight, both fated to disappear and die, respectively, and the story rewards these noble sacrifices even as it demands them b/c the author loves tragedy, b/c drosselmeyer's also trying to work within some conventions here to have a cohesive story and to allow enough hope in the story to motivate the characters and give everything enough stakes to really be effectively tragic (although he was also apparently writing characters who'd appear and then forever disappear on the same page, so. all to a degree lol). and yet the story and the people in it can also operate outside of drosselmeyer's Intent and Control and even knowledge of what all is a factor in everything going on, because that's part of his power, the stories and their characters become people who are real in the same way that people not from the story are real, and there's elements of who they were and are and can be that drosselmeyer didn't write. rue wasn't meant to sacrifice herself, edel / uzura wasn't meant to help the characters avoid tragedy, ahiru was meant to be powerless as a duck (and a regular girl), fakir was meant to be powerless or die, tbh mytho was probably meant to prevail in the end but also maybe drosselmeyer wouldn't've minded if the raven won And Also definitely wouldn't've minded if mytho going "well fuck this, i'll take out my heart again, regain it, kill you that time, then also kill myself" had been seen through which would've been decidedly ultimately tragic even if the prince also "won," and/or if the prince just kept getting stuck in these stalemates and having to shatter & regain his heart in an eternal loop (thinking of how mytho sure managed to like, phase Inside the raven magically via giant swan made of light (see: my theory that although that's very [tutu] visuals, tutu is also kinda Hope Embodied in this series, and we don't quite know whether original tutu's magic powers were different from the prince's magic abilities, or how, and i like to believe that mytho Can also manifest as a giant swan made of light) which was apparently only an option after he not only regained the capacity to feel hope but kinda had an actual feeling of hope kickstarted by ahiru, who's been and continues tapping into tutu's power as being so associated with / tied to Hope as a concept in general, so he presumably couldn't've done that move otherwise).

SO we're really meandering around here, by which i mean that i am, but so it goes. my point is!!! with All That in mind, and again reiterating how i opened that last paragraph before getting a little off track as always, i was thinking that it might not be Just A Coincidence that fakir is both the reincarnation of the knight / takes on the role of the knight, AND has drosselmeyer's magic writing powers in this completely separate matter of genealogy. (also, i'm sorry, but total tangent again: i'm not 100% on the timeline of things, but i'm like, okay, the raven comes into the real world, and the prince follows it, and then we know that this real world town had like, these killer raven attacks that could disappear an infant or kill a kid's parents. and i think we can suppose that rue and fakir happen to be pretty much the same age, and rue was kidnapped as a baby, so the raven was definitely around then, and fakir's parents were killed when he was like, a young kid but definitely not a baby or even a toddler, and rue was also running around and able to dance and only knew herself as kraehe until meeting mytho and wanting to give herself another name as just a human. so like....i'm bad at estimating ages but like, what, they're at least 5 when they meet mytho? maybe more like 6 or 7. the point is, so there were raven attacks for actual Years before the prince shattered his heart? and maybe mytho was fighting the raven in that perpetual stalemate for all those years, but probably he would've aged those several years if he existed outside the story's [Paused In Time] situation but still had his heart, since it's presumably his having Lost his heart that means he has no pulse and doesn't age and, you know, has lost his memories and emotions. and if we say it was like, at least 4 years or something, and mytho's like, ambiguously sort of Older Teen, say 16 or 17, idk (he's a baby still ;m; but also a fairytale prince, so) and you supposed he aged while out of the story And that he was out of the story and fighting the raven those several years before giving up his heart, that'd mean that when the book left off, he was locked in this deadly battle for the kingdom with the main villain as like, circa 11 years old or what have you. not outside the realm of fiction or fairytales, but still....but more so than that, idk, you'd think if there was this magic storybook prince around fighting the raven/s for years, full hearted and thus with his memories / sense of self intact, people would've been as aware of his presence as that of these killer ravens, and like, actually know who he is, as siegfried, and prior to there being this guy, mytho, who only fakir and co. and rue, out of anyone else in town, realize is actually this prince from a story that exists as a storybook in their world. which, i Guess it's possible that mytho was around outside the story for years before shattering his heart to seal the raven away, but also, seems like maybe instead it was years before he followed the raven out of the story and then once he did he pretty much immediately sacrificed his heart? not that the All Realities Narrator mentions a gap between the raven escaping the story and the prince chasing after it, but a) they also didn't specifically say that this didn't happen and b) maybe it was just some like, issue of jumping between dimensions basically, i.e. from the perspective of mytho in the story he did follow the raven out immediately, only to find that from the perspective of this other world, the raven had been an issue for years and c) maybe this difference in time was so that mytho would be dropped into more of an equivalent situation as he was in back in the story, where the raven had Also already been a problem for years in that story's universe, before the point where drosselmeyer has died and the story is left off unfinished. so here's mytho now entering this other reality, where even though he himself has just shown up after having battling the raven for years In Story (and then in stasis because the story was not able to progress in its own world), and is having to choose to protect these people who have not Just been introduced to the raven's attacks, but have been dealing with it for years as something that can and has killed people, just as was the case with the townspeople back in the world of the story.)

okay i apologize to the readers and to myself, no more tangents: what if!!!! it's not a fortunate coincidence that fakir has access to the powers of the separate roles of "the knight from the story" and "drosselmeyer's descendent in this world"!!!! What If!!!!!!!!! the knight's death, rather than being truly "useless," actually still counted as a sacrifice made in the hope of protecting others, and was thusly rewarded with some form of success, as other such sacrifices are rewarded both in the story of prinz und rabe, but also in the overall story of this series, aka princess tutu, although clearly in the end the Happy Ending comes from not only these sacrifices but the characters all protecting each other so that these ultimate self sacrifices don't need to be made (thinking of how often characters talk about wanting to protect each other, fakir being motivated to try Writing again after realizing all these other characters are doing their best to protect him, mytho saying he won't Give Up Again to ahiru (also tutu....just standing here staring at the wall like blair witch style that he never seems to have known that the duck was not only the version of tutu he'd been encountering but also ahiru who he was like "hey bestie :)" to in ep 14 before getting ko'd and never knowingly talking to her again haha scream that's just. that's fine!!! anyway rue could tell him but then again like, a little late. UNLESS they can just come back and visit?? i have some sense that there might have once been plans to make a season three for the series if possible way back in the day, yknow, when said series was being released, but i only "remember" this from Maybe someone's post from that 15th anniversary event and maybe, jonathan frakes voice, it never happened) referring to his intent to sacrifice his heart again as being that "giving up"......THE POINT BEING. maybe the knight's death was a sacrifice, and according the role that such sacrifices have, that sacrifice had some positive, helpful, protecting effect, and in this case, it was that the knight's reincarnation had these Other powers as well beyond the knight's role in the story, so that this knight could do more but protect mytho some but ultimately die in the effort with that death Supposedly being for nothing, aka the fact that fakir is related to drosselmeyer is thanks to lohengrin sacrificing himself to protect mytho, even if the circumstances of his death did not appear to, and were not intended by drosselmeyer to, have any direct benefit for anyone. did the knight somehow have conscious influence over his own reincarnation, or was it more like, these superhuman forces Rewarding the sacrifice / affording the knight this new chance at fate? could be either i guess!! (and was fakir born when the raven entered that world, or prior? he was as old as he was when he met mytho, had mytho Just shown up or did he really arrive just after the raven and had been fighting all the time and it's just that, for whatever reason, nobody else knew he was there? or they did, but once the raven was sealed away, maybe other people Forgot what had happened prior too, re: the prince and the Monster Raven anyways? since while people had known about the like, regular bird form ravens who killed people, nobody mentioned the big german abstract expressionism sky blocking raven who ate hearts.....and not like there wasn't people dying back in the story despite the prince's efforts (though that was related as well to like, people Definitely knowing the prince existed, and Despairing b/c he was so epic, actually) i don't know, it could be Either Way, i'm just wondering like, was fakir born prior to a character from The Story entering that world, or after? i feel like Maybe some timeline details might've been mentioned re: when the ravens showed up, but i don't remember. although i guess it's not impossible re: this theory that he was born beforehand but is still definitely the knight, and as i type this, i remember the whole "he's always had the birthmarks that identified him as the reincarnation of the knight" element, so it's Already True that whenever he was born, that was the case, aaand also i'm remembering that lohengrin died before where the story left off, and in that story's universe, idk, maybe years passed....and i Just was talking about how maybe the timelines / passage of time are not parallel and Aligned 1:1 between worlds here, so. point is! however it shakes out, lohengrin died for all intents and purposes Before fakir was born, who Is the knight whether or not he's really lohengrin's reincarnation, which he Could be, because lohengrin Was a human who Did die. so!!!!! (it's 6am....i've been writing this for hours lol. i prommy my thoughts would've been a Little more in order otherwise. possibly)

TL;DR: what if, rather than the knight's death being "useless" and his failing to protect the prince through being killed, it still counted as a sacrifice to protect mytho, and when you consider how this Theme of sacrifice is handled throughout the series, it would be in line with everything else if this sacrifice was rewarded even if the text of prinz und rabe / drosselmeyer did not consider this / recognize this to be a "successful" act of self sacrifice to protect the prince, and that reward was the knight's reincarnation Also being a descendent of drosselmeyer with a power that would allow him to protect people without being held to the knight's fate of being killed, rather than it being a complete unrelated coincidence that fakir is the knight And a person who just so happens to have the ability to write reality, thanks to being in the same family as drosselmeyer. what if lohengrin's sacrifice let him escape his own fate down the line and this time "successfully" protect the prince without having to die before the story finishes! it wouldn't change anything in the story as we know it and i think it'd be Thematically Resonant.

#that's #princess tutu #not playable trailer (2014) or part time (job)#''time to sit down and write probably a good handful of extensive paragraphs abt this for a little while. say an hour at most!!''#[smash cut to me typing these tags hours later. it's 6:30am. the sun is up. head in hands]#never know when it's time to think and post about this again #also i only remember so much of The Canon Lore so if there's info i missed here and mused about yknow. feel free to chime in #love how this series has so many quick / fleeting / One Time / vague / ambiguous mentions of pieces of information #so there's plenty of threads that are really intriguing and you're given enough glimpses to piece some other pictures together if you want #but nothing is really established with tons of certainty / precise in depth clarity in canon which gives you plenty of room to Interpret and #Extrapolate as we are doing here all the time #for example: lohengrin (Presumably the knight but! we don't even Know that 100% lol) was mytho's boyfriend. pensive #not to kin drosselmeyer but first of all: consider the drama of that :/ he did die tragically :/#second of all why not. third of all: see the mentions about tutu and the knight having these parallel roles in the story and beyond it...#and third point fifth of all well clearly tutu was his magical gf spirit of dance hope embodiment...#fourth of all idk the story's all ''look any and everyone is in love with the prince. it's kind of a problem actually'' lmao #not the first person to die by the raven monster for being too in love with the guy!! apparently!#mytho's gotta end up with someone completely Not From the story b/c his other dates in the story die or vanish :/#haha but seriously. and he can turn into a giant swan at will if his ability to feel Hope is all fired up. haha but seriously #well anyway! the point is this #everyone is always like ''wow the cringe and fail knight. way to die Uselessly 9_9'' about said knight #but what if! his death actually had this power and had a helpful; successfully protective impact on the story in a way no one was aware of #sorry for taking 10 paragraphs to say as much in there. w/the last several getting extra long....it is My Way #i am [epcot ball vine voice Mytho...] about pt lore lmao but i can still ponder other things. he's connected to all the others! bless him

9 notes · View notes

drxwsyni · 4 years

Text

Tell Me What You’re Thinking (pt. 2/2)

Yandere merman!Shinsou Hitoshi x gn!Reader

Summary: Studying abroad on a remote tropical island, a life threatening event prompts a certain merman to come to your rescue. Coincidence or not, the meeting results in his intentions being set in stone.

All characters are aged up (18+).

Warnings for this part: injury, mild violence, suggestions of poor parenting

6.6k words

a/n: This is the final part to my mermay fic for the bookclub! I’m fairly happy with how this turned out, and I hope you guys enjoy it too!

Prompt: “It’s really not that complicated.”

Part 1

_____

Another day of work went completely down the drain. Not as in your accomplishments being ruined or anything like that, rather there weren’t any accomplishments to be had in the first place.

You spent the rest of the evening talking to Hitoshi. He had so many questions.

“What are you studying.”

“Where are your classmates?”

“Does anyone know you're here?”

“How are you enjoying the island?”

“How long are you staying here?”

He was relentless.

But you answered every single one of his inquiries. You owed him, after all. It was the least you could do, and frankly you didn’t mind it.

He was so invested in getting to know you. The treatment was something you’ve never experienced before. And you liked it―someone being committed to understanding you instead of assuming everything.

Even more so, you enjoyed how he seemed genuinely concerned about your limits, unlike others.

The sun was setting, its influence casting a warm haze across the beach. You still hadn’t gotten any work done, but it didn’t matter. It was worth it. You could afford to miss another day of research if it meant catching up on some much needed meaningful human interaction.

Or is human interaction even the right description for it?

It was interaction. That’s all that mattered.

The both of you knew that you couldn’t talk all night, but he wasn’t quite done with his well earned interrogation yet.

You were sitting on the edge of the rocks, feet dangling in the chilled ocean water while Hitoshi rested his arms casually atop the surface. He looked up at you as he spoke, neck craning to accommodate the height difference. “This whole research thing seems like a lot of work―especially if you were going to risk your life for it.”

He seemed to enjoy undermining your capabilities. It came off as playful teasing, but part of you was a little offended that he didn’t think you could handle yourself. But given recent events, the behaviour was probably forgivable―he did meet you in your almost dying moments.

“I guess it is, but if I don’t put in the effort then...I don’t know. I’ll disappoint my parents, which is definitely not something I want to do.” You laughed at the thought, but really the idea of messing up such a perfect opportunity for success was distressing.

And it was clear that Hitoshi picked up on that distress.

“Are you not doing this for yourself? You’re working so hard, what’s the point if it’s not something you even want to do?” His face was turned into that of pure concern, and it made your heart sink a little to think he felt so worried about you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to do it. I like studying at my school, it’s just―sometimes I wish I was doing something I was a little more interested in.” Nervously, your eyes were trained on the rippling water in front of you.

One thing you’d come to note after spending even a few hours with Hitoshi was that his gaze was practically piercing. It made it hard to look him in the eyes as you spoke, even when you were discussing lighter topics. He could be teasing you yet there’d still be an air of seriousness to it. And in times like these his focus on you would no doubt be immobilizing if you had the courage to steal a glance.

But you didn’t need to, not with the disappointed sounding sigh that escaped his lips. “Then why don’t you? Clearly you’re not happy with whatever’s happening now.”

You kicked your feet in the water slightly, trying to stave off the tension he was creating. “I can’t just―listen, there’s nothing I can do about it Hitoshi. I wish there was, honestly...It’s not a big deal.”

There was a long pause, and for a moment you feared that he’d gotten bored with hearing about your unfortunate lifestyle. But he wouldn’t still be associating with you if that was ever a problem.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

The question was so unexpected, it took you a second to comprehend it―another to reply. “Y-you mean like...rant about my feelings?” This time you were looking at him, an automatic reflex to the shock you received from his words.

His gaze was unwavering, showing no signs of going back on what he said. “Sure, maybe I can help.”

At that you gave a lighthearted chuckle, causing a slightly confused look to form on his face. “No offence, but I don’t think there’s much you can do for me. Y’know…” You eyed the shimmering tail that was outstretched in the water, the sight still baffling your preconceived notions of reality.

His tone borderlined on taunting, while still retaining a certain edge to it. “What? Because I’m part fish? I’m sure even like this I can still offer advice, don’t you think?”

As he spoke, the grin he gave was almost threatening. It contrasted his supportive words. Even more so when your eyes laid upon a new realization of his physique.

His canine teeth were inhumanely sharp.

It was practically a set of fangs, just another part about him that was otherworldly.

You disregarded the sudden findings to form a coherent response amongst your semi-flusteredness. “I don’t know...there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to that. I’d hate to bore you to death.”

He gave a warm smile, “I don’t think that’s possible. Really (y/n), you can tell me anything.”

For a moment you paused before responding. Could you really tell him...anything? You weren’t lying, there was a lot that you had buried under the long maintained efforts to suppress your personal opinions. Ones that those important to you wouldn’t quite agree with, and you didn’t have the heart to disappoint them.

But when your mind went back on all he’d done for you up until now, would letting you do this be anymore taxing on him? If anything, Hitoshi proved that he was more than willing to just talk to you. Nothing complicated in the matter. Just mindless discussion with the only goal of becoming more acquainted with each other.

He wasn’t trying to get anything from you. No intentions of advantage-taking were present.

How could you not comply with his request?

And so you did. You told him what ailed you most―those in your life that didn’t take your needs seriously. How oftentimes people liked to pretend that they weren’t pressuring you into things, or judging you for stuff you couldn’t complete with a high degree of success. Thoughts that you would never admit you had to these people for fear of unbearable rejectment.

Hitoshi listened patiently, letting you take your time to form your thoughts and offering words of consolation where it was appropriate. His concern only grew with each passing word. You described how strenuous school could be, despite you yourself thinking you were overreacting.

Thankfully he didn’t think the same. In fact, it was the exact opposite. Somehow it was easy for him to disregard the glaring differences in your lifestyles. He adapted to what you spoke of, altering his words and views to best assist you in easing the aches you carried.

For the most part, his words were short and sweet, but you appreciated them nonetheless. It was unlikely that you’d be able to utilize his words of advice, but the action of speaking itself was more than enough to alleviate your stresses.

As the sky grew darker, you felt the weight of guilt and expectations upon you grow lighter. All the while he didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, living up to his initial offer to let you drown him in your sorrows as well.

So when the moon crested over the surface of the horizon, you could leave him feeling more mentally refreshed than you had in years. The both of you were reluctant to part―you surprised at this given how personally you couldn’t imagine how boring it would’ve been to hear you drone on for a little over half an hour.

Even more confounding, Hitoshi made you promise to come back to the same spot the next day. You would’ve had to either way―being now two days behind in your research. But the notion that he was waiting, anticipating your return brought a warmth to your heart.

You agreed with his desire, and made your way back to the dimly lit cabin before the luminance of the sun could vanish from the sky.

_____

It would turn out that Hitoshi’s patience was a blessing.

You trekked back to the same spot―back to him, after that day with your equipment in tow. Unfortunately, he was quite adamant on spending time with you in pretty much an identical way like you had before. And as much as you would’ve loved to talk endlessly with him, there was no way you were going to finish your research for the final if you did.

So, you laid out some ground rules. Normally you’d spend the whole time at the ocean pools doing something that worked towards your end goal, but with his presence in the mix you’d have to alter your routine.

It was decided that you’d return to him an hour earlier than normal. You’d spend the extra time doing your work, and he’d simply exist alongside of you. Hitoshi wouldn’t necessarily do anything, most times you’d just catch him observing your work habits. Occasionally he’d question your methods, and you’d continue your work while explaining whatever task you were completing to him. Generally, he was a curious sort of creature―and you couldn’t exactly blame him. He didn’t talk much about his interactions with other humans before, but judging by his desire to learn more about your customs, you could assume the presence you gave him had never arisen in a similar way before.

You could relate to his newfound interest in your relationship more than he probably knew. The change from the monotonous lifestyle you had for the past few years compared to what had developed between you and the merman was like night and day. Being so caught up in school didn’t grant much time for socializing, or anything recreational for that matter.

For so long you felt alone―and now you weren’t. Not with the undivided attention of Hitoshi.

When you deemed it permissible to wrap up your findings for the day, the two of you would pick back up wherever you left the conversation last. It would be understandable if you ran out of topics for discussion, but that never happened.

Days turned into weeks, and you were still as attentive to his words as ever, just as he was equally engaged with you. Sometimes the words you exchanged weren’t even meaningful―mindless in every sense, talking just to hear each other's voice. In such a short amount of time you developed a bond that you’d never once experienced before―and it wasn’t even with a human.

It was almost funny the way things worked out. Never would you have expected to become so close to someone this quickly, let alone a man who wasn’t even the same species as you. But that’s what made it all the more special. You came on this trip offered by your university under the encouragement of it being a ‘once in a lifetime opportunity’―and that’s exactly what it came to be.

You’d never have this same sense of euphoria again. No matter where you might go, Hitoshi’s presence was irreplaceable.

That’s what made the slowly ensuing date of departure so painful to come to terms with.

If the prospect of leaving him behind wasn’t enough to weigh you down, then the copious amounts of work left to be completed certainly would. It felt as if none of your efforts were good enough. You’d finish one thing just for another problem to arise―it was maddening.

You felt like pulling your hair from the roots with how much stress you were under. The whole process was frantic―you scrambling to jot down notes, trying to politely discuss with your peers or professors about certain topics while battling with the dreaded feeling that you were bothering them with every word that came out of your mouth. You were losing sleep, trying to formulate your plans for the next day or hash out what you’d add to your paper.

Hitoshi noticed your severely distressed state―it was obvious after all.

You were talking less. Short answers, sometimes only a word or a simple nod here and there. For so long he’d just sit there and watch you slave away at your research. The talks you two had were becoming shorter―you favouring to spend the time doing what was essentially cramming for your final at this point.

He wasn’t having it.

You were borderlining on a headache with the amount of strain you were putting on your brain to stay focused. It was a focus so intense that the sound of Hitoshi’s voice breaking through the silence almost scared you half to death.

“You’ve been pretty quiet lately. What’s going on?”

Your hand flinched at the deep baritone of his voice, sending your pencil flying into the nearest ocean pool with a splash. For a moment your mind reminisced on the evening when his unwarned appearance caused you to do something similar. Only this time you knew he was there―you were just too engrossed in your task to remember.

Reaching for the now wet pencil, you replied without sparing him a glance. “I’m just really busy right now ‘Toshi. I’m supposed to be leaving soon and I haven’t even―” You caught your tone changing into one of irritation. He didn’t have that effect on you by no means. It was the work that spurred the emotions, and you didn’t want him thinking he was the cause of your growing anxieties.

In an attempt to ease the tensions plaguing your body, you let out a deep sigh. “My work isn’t done yet―not even close. I’m just running out of time here.”

You shook your head at the dreadful reality, drying off your pencil with the loose fabric of your cover up.

Hitoshi shifted in the water slightly, a crease forming between his brows at your worries. “What’ll happen if you don’t finish? Surely you’ve got enough done so far―I mean you don’t stop even when we talk.” He was watching your every move just like he always did, you paying no mind to his intent stare.

Sitting back down on the dry rock with your notebook in hand, you responded. “Well, I’ll upset my parents for one. I just can’t seem to get everything done. I’m behind schedule and at this rate I’ll never finish my research.” You paused your rant, opting to rest your hands on the papers in your lap in what felt like semi-defeat. “God...I just―I can’t let them down with this.”

He’d watched you long enough―listened to you enough―to know how important doing well in your studies were. The past week had been just as much hell for him as it had for you. Sure he wasn’t working himself to the bone with this assignment like you were, but he was getting second hand stress from it.

Seeing you so worn out, but still refusing to let up pained him to no end. Just as you had developed an irreplaceable attachment to him, he’d grown to be so excruciatingly devoted to making sure he was there when you returned to him every night. At the beginning he didn’t care all that much about the prospect of eventually having to part ways with you, but things had changed since then. He had changed, but you stayed the same. Too overworked and performing for the pride of others.

His voice cut through your concentration like a sharpened knife. “You don’t need them.”

You lifted your head to look at him for the first time in hours. The look he gave you was as serious as ever―if not more so than usual. Your mind practically drew blank at his abrupt suggestion. “Um―I’m not quite sure I follow…”

He squared his toned shoulders, looking at you with intent. “Clearly they’re not doing any good for you. Stay here with me―you won’t have to worry about them taking advantage of you anymore.”

In a feeling of awkwardness and disbelief at his words, you laughed a bit in admission. “I can’t just drop out of school ‘Toshi. And even if I could I’d still have to go home first and then I certainly wouldn’t be coming back. It’s a funny idea―really, but the school would never just let me stay behind.”

You went back to trying to focus on your brainstorming, having perceived that the topic was concluded.

“It’s really not that complicated. You enjoy your time here―with me.”

Keeping your gaze focused on the lined paper as you weren’t fully prepared to deal with his piercing stare, you made your rebuttal. “It is complicated. Listen, doing that wouldn’t make any sense―you’re not making any sense.”

He didn’t miss a beat, “It makes complete sense to me. You’re miserable, but here you wouldn’t be.”

“I can’t just give up my life ‘Toshi!”

You didn’t mean to yell at him―really. The stress of the situation, of your deadline, was so much to compute in your brain when it was already running a thousand miles a minute. He just wasn’t helping, not like he usually did. But that didn’t mean you had the right to get mad with him.

The two of you sat there in silence, you hanging your head in regret and shame for likely hurting the man.

Hitoshi was the first to speak up, his voice now calm and gentle in comparison to yours. “Even if you hate it?”

Those few words were enough to send your heart sinking into your chest. He was right―you did hate it. But there was no other alternative. All you could do was try and sway him from the subject.

“Hopefully, I’ll eventually grow to love it.” You gave pause for a moment, “And...even if I don’t, it’s all I have.”

“You’d really prefer that life over the one you’d have here? Where you’d be happy?”

It wasn’t worth discussing―you knew the answer even if you didn’t like admitting it. He needed to know it too, and settle with it. “It’s not realistic, ‘Toshi. Just drop it, okay?”

Much to your thankfulness the merman did as you said. Without another word you went back to your studies, having to reel your mind back in whenever it chose to drift to the disillusioned words of your newfound companion. It was distracting in every sense―making for the already difficult task to be that much harder.

You could tell it bothered him too. The indigo haired man was always fairly moody, especially when he had to wait for you to finish your work. Now however he was downright sulking in the water as his focus absentmindedly drifted to rest upon the rippling waves of the ocean. A few times you stole a glance in his direction, seeing he was uncharacteristically disinterested in your actions. It only made you feel worse―seeing him stew in his own conflict at the hands of your misfortune.

Even when you managed to spare some time for the regular discourse when you finally chose to wrap up your equipment, he was still acting distracted. Not rude or anything―just like his mind was in another place.

You could only hope he could move past his troubled thoughts, just as you wished for yourself.

_____

Before you knew it another week had gone by―meaning you only had a few days remaining. The time that went by then was the worst of your trip by far. A haze of self-doubt clouded your mindset for its entirety. Amongst the seemingly unending requirements, you were downright exhausted. Physically, mentally―you name it.

You could only spare a rough ten or so minutes at the end of your day for Hitoshi. Neither of you liked it. What you wouldn’t give to just go back to the way things were when you first met him, aside from the near death experience. A time where you weren’t nearly as concerned with completing everything right to the last painstaking detail. It was only a few weeks ago, yet it felt like a lifetime in the past.

He’d even been helping you with the research―despite you desperately insisting that he shouldn’t as technically it could be seen as cheating. Of course, he was very stubborn, meaning you didn’t exactly have the chance to fight him.

It was mostly a matter of him retrieving samples from the ocean for you. Not often did you require them, but when the moment arose he was more than happy to assist you. Finally, you were down to what you hoped was the final time you were required to obtain some ocean relique.

It was bittersweet in a way. You were fairly confident by now that with this you could take your research home to finish, given that you had more than enough groundwork that’d been developed in your time on the island. But it meant that you’d no longer have a reason to come back to the ocean pools, and subsequently back to Hitoshi.

However for now you didn’t have to think about that―you still had even a little work left to do, which was enough to take your mind off of the eventual departure from the island.

Normally you would let the merman take the reins when it came to anything dealing with venturing into the ocean water, but today it would seem he was a little more lenient in the matter.

You were just about to hand off the sample jar when he spoke up.

“Why don’t you come with me this time? It’ll be your last chance to go in the ocean before you leave―It’d be fitting, right?”

Your hand was still extended with the jar in your palm, which you retracted at his unexpected claim. It would likely be the last time you could spare the indulgence. Not only that, but it’d be fair given how much you’d let him do for you―it was only right that you at least worked for the material that would no doubt be essential to finishing your final with good marks.

With your lips upturning into an understanding smile, you stood back up from your crouched position in front of him. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. I’m just surprised you’re finally letting me do this―given how you’ve been against the idea for so long.” The playfulness in your tone didn’t go unnoticed as you spoke, Hitoshi’s face lighting up a bit in seeing your good mood. Lately it’s been everything but that, the reality of your situation being mutually paining.

Making your way across the lightly dampened rocks, you fished through your backpack for another belt bag. You were forced to purchase one at the island's diving gear shop, burning through a substantial amount of your funds for the trip.

The merman observed your actions with an inquisitive look, speaking up as you were still rifling through the contents. “I can carry your equipment for you. Just bring the jar.”

You looked over at his awaiting form. It wasn’t much, but since the disagreement the two of you had just barely a week prior, his behaviour never quite went back to normal.

Although, his form of normal was everything but the sort―understandably so. Your lives were so contrastingly different, it only made sense that he was a little more...odd. It never stood out that much, but still―always just enough where it was noticeable. And since he stated the obvious about your detestment for your life back home, things didn’t simply return to how it’d once been.

Whether he knew you picked up on it was beyond you―in fact, you weren’t even sure if he knew he was acting differently himself. Either way, things were just off between the two of you. Even though the feeling was subtle, it persistently kept you just a little uneasy.

He’d always had an air of mystery to his aura―you assumed it just came with his predicament. Only now it served to put you on edge. Never so much where you’d not want to talk to him though. Nothing could stop you from wanting that.

If anything, you were concerned for him. You didn’t like the thought that he might be dreading you having to leave just as much as you were.

As you pulled your hands from your bag and regarded him waiting in the water, a small part of you picked up on a certain edge to his demeanour. You couldn’t quite place where it came from, or what it meant, but it was there nonetheless.

It was easy to disregard though, and you stripped down to your swimsuit to join him at the edge of the water. With a gentle hand he helped you into the ocean, waiting for you to get adjusted to the cold temperature slightly before leading you away from the shoreline. You kept the sample jar in your right, your other still in his hand as you worked on balancing yourself in the shallow water.

A shiver ran up and down your spine, causing you to instinctively curl into yourself, pausing your advance for a moment.

You heard Hitoshi give a small chuckle at your unaccustomed behaviour, somehow still retaining a certain sternness. “Don’t get cold feet now. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

In an attempt to force yourself to loosen up, you breathed out a deep sigh. “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s keep going.”

When you reached a depth where you could no longer keep your feet on the ocean floor, the merman took the sample jar from your hand, releasing you from his own hold. With the intrusion on your awkward swimming methods gone, you carefully began to tread the frigid water.

The sensation brought you back to the evening which put this whole reality in motion. You noted how the ocean water even felt a little chillier, perhaps it was just you being sensitive. After all, last time you were in this position your senses weren’t nearly as perceptive as they should be. If they were you might’ve had half a mind to take the change in the ocean’s patterns more seriously.

Recalling the ordeal still made your blood run cold. You were so sure that the waves in the distance would take longer to reach you. And the ferocity of them―that was something you didn’t see coming.

Now wasn’t a time to hold that same carelessness, taking a moment to look off into the distance, then judging the weather just in case a freak storm came out of nowhere again.

The reef you were searching for was farther from the shoreline than you anticipated. You didn’t like the thought of it, but the merman’s presence made things a little easier. Soon enough you judged that your current position would be an ideal place to start searching.

The water surrounding you was immaculately clear, and even in the dimming light of the sunset, you could still make out the reef beneath you. You knew that it would actually be much deeper than how it looked, but you were fairly confident it still wasn’t that bad.

You regarded Hitoshi as you came to a halt, “Okay...I think right here is a good spot.” For another moment your eyes trained on the ocean below you.

Even in the safety of his presence, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry go through you. It was only instinctual―people don’t just get over a near death experience in a few weeks. It’s what you told yourself in hopes of rationalizing the sensation away. “Can you hand me the sample jar?”

The merman stilled next to you, and your gaze drifted to his immaculately sharp features. Namely, the way his jaw seemed to tighten at your words.

The once nonchalant attitude from his brief previous teasing was gone. A familiar seriousness had replaced it completely. He didn’t make a move to give you the jar, choosing to speak first instead.

“Before we go under, I just wanted to clear something up…”

You continued to tread in one place, a little irritated at the hold up. You’d hear him out though―you owed him that much after all he’d done for you up to this point. “Is something wrong, ‘Toshi?”

He looked a little uncomfortable, averting from your worried gaze for a moment. “I just wanted to know...were you serious―with not wanting to stay with me?”

Out of all the times he could’ve chosen to bring this up, he thought now would be the best?

You gave a small smile out of consolation, also in an attempt to ease some of the observable tensions running through his body. You knew he hadn’t moved past it, and it didn’t make you feel any better about having to leave him. “I can’t just abandon everything I know. I would love to stay―to spend more time with you. It’s just not possible.” You tried letting him down gently. The last time you rejected him didn’t go well for either of you, and you didn’t want to end your relationship on such bad terms.

The merman shook his head slightly as he spoke, “I don’t understand, you’d be happier with me. Would you just―please, (y/n). I need you to rethink this.” The strain in his voice made your heart sink. You’d never seen someone so severely distressed for you in your life.

For a moment it made you think that maybe it was coming from something more selfish. He said it himself that he never really got to interact with other humans. It’s not an idea you ever thought about before, especially because he simply didn’t seem like that kind of person, but maybe his attachment wasn’t coming from the same place as yours. You liked him because he treated you with compassion and understanding. Frankly, you still didn’t know why he stuck around.

When it came down to it, the reasonings didn’t matter. There was no stopping your school from forcing you back onto a plane home. With a soft look in your eyes, you replied. “You know I wish I could stay with you. I just can’t―there’s no way the university would let me stay anyways, ‘Toshi.”

There was a long bout of silence that fell between the two of you. It was clear just how conflicted he was, and on a certain level, so were you. The only difference was that you’d come to terms with it long ago. Now he needed to do the same.

Just slightly, he straightened up in the water. He had a solemn but resigned look to his face. “Then...I believe you. But, I’m sorry for this.”

Your face contorted a bit in confusion at his vague words. Was he apologizing for giving you a hard time?

“What’s there to be sorry about―”

In a split second, a wave of a vastly unfamiliar sensation washed over you. It felt stifling―muffling your senses. Almost like being underwater.

You visioned fared even more poorly. Against your will your eyes focused past the merman in front of you, settling on the distantly dimming horizon. The synapses in your body felt as if they were malfunctioning to the extreme. You couldn’t move, much less voice your now immediately distressed concerns.

What you could do however was just barely register the sensation of hands coming to grip your hips. It wasn’t a bad feeling, your mind able to make the connection that you stopped moving―meaning whatever was happening was keeping you from sinking.

Dread still clamped down on your heart, panicked and unsure of what would happen next. There was movement―eyes not entirely out of commission. Something indigo, shimmery and blurred beyond recognition.

And then there was pain.

Burning hot and sharp as a knife, breaking through the soft and delicate skin of your neck. Involuntary tears pricked in your eyes, threatening to spill―doing so a mere second later. The ocean water wasn’t the culprit for the wetness on your face anymore. A mix of fear and physical agony were at fault.

The scorching sensation didn’t dissipate―it merely faded into the background. Alongside of it a dark and looming haze took up residence. There was a disconnect in your mind―or rather there were many. No one thought could coherently form anymore, just a muddled cluster of why’s and what’s.

Time was too much of a complicated concept to be able to grasp. Seconds could have gone by―minutes even. The only thing you understood was how tired you felt.

The pain should be keeping you conscious, but even that wasn’t enough to fight off the building weight forming in your mind. Like waves pulling you under, you grew more and more drowsy.

And just like when you were drowning, there was nothing stopping the ways of nature from keeping you under. Only now what subdued you was everything but natural.

It was just as powerful though, and it had sunk its teeth into your consciousness, drawing out every last bit of energy from your body.

_____

Your memory hadn’t failed you, bringing with it all your past obtained knowledge of the island. But where you were was no longer the island.

It was a cave. Damp and dark, illuminated by a flickering oil lamp nestled in a corner.

Hitoshi’s home.

There were differences though. Namely, the cushions smelling of the salty ocean water embedded in its fabric underneath you. Not uncomfortable by no means, but it wasn’t there last time you were in the cavern.

The merman wasn’t there when you woke up last time either―but he was now.

Your head felt like it was spinning as you weakly sat up from your laid out position. Like when you first came to, a hospitable blanket was thrown over your body. You were completely dried―not even your swimsuit retaining any moisture.

Dread filled eyes landed on Hitsoshi’s form, steadily keeping afloat in the middle of the cave’s pool. The pool that led to the only exit from his home.

Your voice was hoarse and raised in concern when you spoke, dry as you hadn’t used it for who knows how long. “...What’s going on, ‘Toshi? W-what happened?”

The merman didn’t even flinch at your words, like he didn’t hear you at all. He simply kept a cold expression plastered across his face. The only significant movement was the way his eyes trailed down your body.

“Before we met, I saw you doing your research at the pools.” His deep voice echoed off the walls of the cave, as always sending a brief shock to your system from its powerfulness. Always unexpected, and always startling.

He continued after a short pause, “Even from a distance, I could tell―you looked so...empty. Tired, and I couldn’t figure out why.”

Suddenly you were alarmingly aware of your situation with his words. If he was there, you never noticed him. But that was only to be expected―with how trained your focus always was on your work, there was never any room to take a detailed surveillance of your surroundings. Or to pick up on watchful eyes from the distant waters.

Any words you could form at the moment got caught in your throat. The influence of whatever once laced your body was gone―it was fear that kept you silent as he continued.

“After I saved you that evening, you changed. It wasn’t much at first but I could tell. And after what you told me―about all the things other humans had done to you―I knew that you needed me. I’ll treat you better than them.”

Finally your widened eyed gaze met his as he managed to regard your dread filled stare.

You forced out the only defence that came to mind―if it could even be called that. “You...you think this is treating me better? Hitoshi...what happened? I don’t―I can’t remember anything since getting into the water with you.”

By now you were shaking, both from the colder temperature of the cave and your severely strung out nerves. Despite the former you threw the blanket off your body, growing increasingly disturbed with the reality of your predicament.

He winced slightly at the movement. “It’s not ideal, I know. But you weren’t listening to me.” You only felt more uneasy with his every word, an unpleasant rush of emotions enveloping your body. “You would’ve left me if I didn’t do anything.”

From the first and only time you ever raised your voice at the merman, or even regarded him with anything less than the gentle compassion he gave you, you swore never to behave in such a way again. That notion was beyond you now.

He was blaming you for what happened.

“W-what...so this is my fault?!” Without you even realizing it the disquiet that was practically suffocating had tears slipping down your cheeks.

Hitoshi moved forward towards you, at the edge of the cave structure where the ocean water met the dry rocks, a look of worry contorting his face. You scrambled back from your position, fear having set in your very being for the inhuman creature before you.

His eyes followed your frantic retreat, but he couldn’t draw any closer, being stopped at the raised rocky expanse of the cave floor. He too was growing upset, just not for the same reasons. “It could never be your fault. What those humans did to you was beyond your control. But I wasn’t just going to let you go back to them. They’ll never stop and you know that.”

“I’m not any better off here!” Your voice bounced off the stone walls, the aggression of it even catching you off guard.

You hear a deep sigh escape his chest, looking contemplative before answering. “It can be better if you let it. If it’s the location you don’t like I can search for a new home―find something bigger. And you won’t always be in here, just until I know I can trust you.”

At this point you were openly sobbing, too overwhelmed on every sensory level. Your brain was having trouble computing the step by step thought process that led him to this decision, only making your distress more unbearable. “It’s not about that! I can’t just―y-you can’t make these kinds of decisions for me.”

You looked at him with pleading eyes, him seeming pained at your disheveled and shaking form.

He gave you a solemn look, “I’m sorry for upsetting you, but I promise you’ll be happier here.”

You couldn’t give him an answer to that―not after the countless times you told him the exact same thing. You might be happy, but what’s to say about those you’re leaving in your wake? At a loss for words, you let hot tears flow and your thoughts bombard you in every way possible. The cave might be quiet, but the pounding of your heartbeat reverberating in your ears was a practically blaring noise that only you could hear.

Hitoshi looked defeated in a way, his once firm composure falling into slumped shoulders, head turning to glance at the exit behind him. He pushed off the rocks, speaking through the motion. “I’ll give you some time to collect your thoughts―try and see things my way.” The merman was nearing the back of the pool, “You need food, I’ll have to go hunting but I’ll be back soon...Don’t try to leave.”

His words were slow spoken, as if he wanted to make sure you could comprehend them amongst the racing pace of your brain overworking itself. You could comprehend it just fine―and the prospect only scared you. “W-wait! We’re not done talking, don’t―”

The deep indigo tufts of hair, once semi-dried, dipped below the surface of the water. You rushed to the pool’s edge, catching a glimpse of the glistening tail that matched in colour as it disappeared into the depths.

“Don’t leave me here alone.”

#yandere bnha #yandere shinsou hitoshi #yandere shinsou #yandere mha #yandere my hero academia #yandere x you #yanderecore #yandere #merman

261 notes · View notes