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confessionsofa-roleplayer · 8 months

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This is gonna' be a girthy one guys. First: I left tumblr in 2019, I couldn't stand it. When I tell you I had an awful experience using this app for 9 years for roleplay, I really fucking mean it. It was fantastic from when I was younger, I started using it around 2012 or so and it was when things were enjoyable. I saw the CREATIVITY that a community could create when it was something like [REDACTED.] Somewhere along the lines, it all died? Like, it was so s sad to see such a fun concept die along the way, I still don't know why.

Somewhere around when I turned 18, I was noticing people were horrible on here. I had friends that would tell me they screenshot dms, discord, and anything that could be a recipt "just in case" I was like "Just in case what motherfucker? Huh?" And then I got hit face first with callouts on my dash, people leaking dms, private conversations, ex friends posting their "testimonials" -- keep in mind, this was not me or in relation to me, and some of these were very much valid and warning of REAL LIFE dangers to others, while others were about shipping incest. I don't care if you think it's gross, that isn't the point. The point was never that callouts let people know X user writes X and to avoid / block, it's that every single time this happened, someone would add a completely irelevant factoid about X user like " they did this to me 2 years ago and I did not like it!" Okay? Alright? A lot of this could have been discussed in dms or just not posted to get 200 notes and somehow end up calling X an abuser. I've seen this so many times, it's not some isolated incident.

For some reason, friends could not part ways without having a mt. of dirt on the other and dumping it all out when the time calls for it. It was like everyone wanted their 5 minutes of fame. It was made infinitely worse when this site became extremely self-sanatized where if you wrote anything that was "probalmatic" or "toxic" you were REQUIRED to be a victim of that same event. Imagine, for three minutes, a self-rightous 17 year old has the gall to ask you if you've been SA'd before because they found you rping this with your rp partner. Even if you think this is gross, there is literally MOUNTAINS of evidence that shows healthy exploration of these thoughts, kinks, and experiences in an enviorment you control is cathartic. Weather or not YOU, the uneducated individual without the psych degree, start yelling "SEEK HELP" as if this was not already a proven method of controlling and facing trauma. Let me tell you: you're not. It's fiction. It is writing. It is fake, a real life occurence, but it is still fake. I have seen people sexualize their fantasy-murderers on the same level as anyone who wanted to write SA porn. Again, this isn't about if you find it acceptable or not, it's about NOT BEING your place to dictate how, when, or who can write it on any grounds, especially demanding to know someone's HISTORY of assault, like imagine being so utterly brain dead that you think you, a stranger, deserve to know anything like this LMAO? it was incredibly common! It was crazy!

Shit, Im getting to the bottom of the box lMAO. Okay.. but yeah, I left tumblr for 4 years to try different sites. I've been on Aniroleplay, and let me tell you. The sanatization the anti crowd wants leads to that. A christian-promoted rp site where if your character is shirtless or has big boobs you get banned because it's "indecent" or "obscene." Twitter has the same amount of problems since most of the minors and obsessive repressed losers left for it. Actually worse than tumblr, it is now peak 2017s tumblr.

I've been on other rp sites where i've had some of the best rp, rich roleplays, GREAT partners, and fun little oc creation experience I ever had. Everyone listed their interests, if you didn't like, you didn't BRING IT UP. You continued like adults, and if not, you block. Boom. The site literally ip bans you if you harass someone. That's what tumblr needed, but instead, all we got was people using statcounter in the midst of 2017-2020 to show who was "stalking" or who left the page open by accident, or something. I was so anxious id have my ip leaked, even if it wasn't a precise location, the idea of someone finding my name and ruining my life was horrifying. I've seen it happen, I've seen people lose jobs from it, I've seen what someone awful with INTENT can do.

Leaving was the best thing ever. I came back only recently because I wanted to try and find a few partners and imagine my fucking shock when I see " NO drama, NO callouts that aren't SPECIFICALLY in reference to A REAL INDIVIDUAL who poses a danger to others " it was insane. It wasn't an isolated incident, but every profile I follow has this, it's all around blogs I wouldnt even think of following, but when I check, I see it there. It's like they all got exhausted with the constant "THIS PERSON WRITES X AND X" like alright? BLOCK THEM, you clown.

This was really just something I've been thinking about. Sorry if this is too long, but thanks for being active for so long guys.

#general #confessions

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itsallanimeandgames · 3 years

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Suppression (1)

Alpha Hanamiya Makoto x Omega Y/N

Omegaverse | Angst | Drama | Romance

Warnings: Language, Violence, Mature/Suggestive Content

Hanamiya Makoto discovers you aren’t an alpha.

Mentally you had prepared yourself for the looks and rumors. You practiced responses to all the backhanded compliments and questions that were sure to come. The society you lived in was all about status.

Kirisaki Daiichi is a school with high promotion percentage. It's known to be popular among children from rich families and those with a higher social standing. The only flaw was that it accepted all genders. It fell behind the elite all-alpha high schools that catered to that cream of the crop of the twenty percent alpha population.

That’s the kind of school you were expected to attend.

The fact that you, an alpha from an affluent all-alpha family, had entered Kirisaki Daiichi instead of an all alpha school like your brother left many wondering what was wrong with you. They never suspected the truth but made theories of their own.

The most popular of them all was that you were somehow lacking intellectually. Those who had only heard of you but never seen you thought perhaps your looks were to blame. Be it looks or intellect, they all came to the conclusion that you were unloved or unwanted by your family because of your flaws.

In a way they were correct. They may have never outright verbally expressed it but it was clear enough in their actions and roundabout remarks. You were their greatest failure. Compared to their first born who excelled beyond their expectations you were best forgotten.

It wasn’t always like that.

Up until middle school you had experienced that one percent. There was nothing you couldn't do thanks to your influential family.

It was something your younger self took for granted.

Your father was a renowned author of medical journals who had retired from practicing medicine and your mother a former national tennis champion. Their firstborn, your brother, profited from his inherited good looks and became one of the highest-paid models in the world, recently he even began entertaining offers to transition into acting.

It was a family of strong alpha lineage.

Breeding between alphas is incredibly difficult. Having two children was seen as nothing short of a miracle and so you were extremely doted on by your family as a child.

All that changed in an instant...

One unfortunate day in middle school. A routine school physical identified your second gender as Omega.

“How can this be?” Your mother tightened her grip on the sheet of paper that stated the results. There in black and white was the undeniable truth.

Your father’s once loving gaze turned into one of pity that eventually seemed more like resent. There had been rumors within his family. Several generations ago there had been an Omega on his mother’s side. Now it would seem such rumors were confirmed.

From then on you carried the burden of being living proof of a tainted family history. However your father wouldn’t allow such a huge revelation be brought to light. He paid quite a sum of money to keep those involved silent on the matter. He even went as far as using his old connections in the medical field to forge medical documents.

On paper and to the public you were an alpha.

Your remaining childhood was spent perfecting the lie. A private doctor, knowledgeable on omega physiology, was brought in to monitor and administer the best suppressants for your individual case. It was vital to keep you from going into heat. A collar would be a dead giveaway of what you truly were thus, it was forbidden for you to ever wear one.

For a child that grew up loved to suddenly have it all taken away...

The shame of being an omega in a family of alphas weighed heavily on you but there was nothing you could do. You’d rather put up with these circumstances and live as an alpha in everyone else’s eyes to the alternative.

Society was hard on omegas. They were victims of discrimination, assault, and persecution. Often you heard on the news how unfortunate omegas suddenly went into heat in public. They would be unwillingly mated or worse, paired with someone for the rest of their lives.

Ignorance truly was bliss.

If you could live peacefully as a fake alpha despite your personal life, so be it.

That morning when you left for school your father was nowhere to be seen. He was most likely upstairs in his study tapping away on the computer as he wrote his latest work. Your mother appeared shortly before you left only to give you a last reminder to keep up the family’s image.

You agreed to play the part your parents asked of you.

During the entrance ceremony you sat up front, in the second seat. It seemed you had placed second in your year. The fact that there was someone who scored higher than you was a testament to the school’s admissions.

You heard the whispers.

“Isn’t that her?”

“I heard she didn’t go to the same school as her brother because she didn’t pass the entrance exam.”

“She must be a recessive alpha.”

Even the slightest glance their way would validate their gossip and you were above giving them the attention they wanted so you kept your eyes forward focused on the current speaker at the podium.

\\\

You kept to yourself, never socializing with anyone more than you had to. You gave vague and straightforward responses to questions in order to avoid their prying into your personal life.

It was typical ice princess behavior in their eyes.

And although some talked behind your back for it, others admired the fact that you didn’t try to establish yourself as the social queen of the school just because of your social status. There were plenty of other girls itching to have everyone on their beck and call.

Yet, alphas were known for being sociable charismatic people so you had no choice but to participate and feign a social life.

That’s when it all began. Countless people asked you to join their club or sport. The golf team was especially earnest in their pursuit. At one point their freshman recruiting officer who doubled as the manager of the team somehow became a close acquaintance.

“Come on Y/N,” The short girl quickly packed her stuff at the end of class. She needed to get to the club room quickly but wouldn’t miss another opportunity to convince you. “It’s co-ed,” she wiggled her brows trying to entice you with the opportunity to interact with boys.

“Sorry, I’m not interested.”

“Hmph,” she exhaled puffing her cheeks. “Fine I give up for today but I’ll keep annoying you until you accept.” She ran out of the classroom at full speed.

You had to admit her passion for the team was admirable.

It was unfortunate that you liked her because you couldn’t open up to her and truly become friends.

But by far the most unfortunate thing was the fact the staff saw you as an opportunity to boost their image. After a few months they began to work up the courage to approach you.

“Miss Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?”

The bell had just rung, signaling the end of the school day. Everyone had left in a hurry except for you and those who had no choice but to stay since they were on cleaning duty.

You nodded your head and followed him as he lead you down the halls.

“Miss Y/N we couldn’t help but notice you haven’t signed onto any extra curricular activities. Here at Kirisaki Daiichi we require that every student go beyond academic success.”

You sighed perfectly aware of what he was getting at. In middle school you had been part of the Tennis club as a solo player. It didn’t require much interaction with others and was the sport with the shortest season. The circumstances allowed you to go about your heat period without complications. Everyone at that school bent over backwards for you considering your lineage. It was perhaps the only time you were thankful for your mother’s influence.

“This school doesn’t have a tennis team,” you very matter-of-factly pointed out “And I’m not interested in any other sport.”

“Then how about starting one.” Kirisaki Daiichi was also willing to do whatever it took to boost their image. If you, the daughter of a national champion, were to start and lead the team it would be idealistic propaganda. Many more affluent families would be interested in the school.

“That sounds like a lot of work.”

Hanamiya smirked when he caught onto your conversation with the teacher. He hadn’t thought much of you when you sat quietly at the front of the class. It was interesting though to see you so blatantly shrug off the teacher.

“Then what if you were to simply coach the other girls? We will put the team together and you instruct them.”

“A student coach?” That seemed far better but would still require you to interact with others often. The closer you became to others, the more chances there would be for someone to catch on to your frequently scheduled absences. After a moment of silence you looked up at the teacher to acknowledge him. “I’ll think about it.”

With those final words you walked away towards the school gates. Just as you were about to pop your earphones in you heard your name being called.

You turned around to see Hanamiya Makoto standing surprisingly close to you, enough to merit you taking a step back. All you knew about him was the fact that he was in your class and through the halls you had heard his name one or two times.

What business did he have with you?

“Don’t bother with the old man’s request.” Hanamiya kept his distance as he proposed an idea to you. “Come be the basketball team’s manager.”

“I don’t know anything about basketball.”

“You don’t have to,” he smirked.

-TBC-

A/N: My favorite manga site is down so here I am writing instead of reading. It has been a while since I saw KNB but my passion for the bad boys is still alive. It will be getting dark and mature so read on with caution.

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stellocchia · 3 years

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Here’s an analysis of the “Tommy’s Plan To Kill Dream” stream (part 2)

Continuation of this here (though it really isn’t needed to read that one to read this as I will be recapping a bit as I go): https://stellocchia.tumblr.com/post/645995202162671616/heres-an-analysis-of-the-tommys-plan-to-kill

This is the less intense part of the stream. They already talked about their plans to kill Dream (well, Tommy’s plan that Tubbo is VERY reluctant about and Ranboo agrees with). We’re moving into the gathering resources for the surveilance post part now.

As always moving forward I’ll be soley talking about the characters and, for the dialogue, this are the respective colors: Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, Ghostbur.

Analysis under the cut as always

So let’s start off with the obvious: I absolutely love how protective Tubbo and Ranboo are of Tommy, I’m glad he has people who actually care in his life right now. We have various examples of this throughout the stream, but the first one is Tommy seeing a creeper, backing off immediatly (because of his hightened fear of pain, aslo known as algophobia apparently) and them immediately destroying the threat. Of course this is also because they don’t want Snowchester blown up, but it’s still sweet nonetheless.

He also opens up about his algophobia right after to them and asks for some armour, which Tubbo actually provides.

“You’re wearing Dream’s armour, aren’t you Tubbo?” “Yeah” “Okay, I wouldn’t- I genuinely would advice not. Anything that that man’s fucking been too near you don’t wanna be using” Tommy’s fear of Dream by now is just all encompassing. It is also quite peculiar that he would say this while still using Dream’s trident (right? It’s still his right?), though that could simply be because he puts himself in the category of “things that have been too near Dream” by now and really can’t be affected more then he already has been, though this is just a theory.

Same thing as with the creeper happens with a skeleton a couple minutes later.

“What happened? Holy crap” “Tubbo he beat me to death, he punched me to death” Bee duo starting to realize how serious Tommy’s situation is right after the scheleton encounter because Tommy was just genuinely panicking.

“Pain it feels so much more real now, ‘cause I know what’s on the other side” “Surely doesn’t that give closure?” “No... no it gives quite the opposite Tubbo” And what a good choice that was narratively speaking! If death did give closure as us and the characters in the story themselves expected, with resurrection it would be meaningless. This way though, death has just as much narrative weight as if resurrection wasn’t there, which is what you want in a story.

“On a side note for you two: Sam Nook great guy! Really lovely guy! Awesamdude is a bastard and does not deserve to be running that prison. If he let me die he failed his job” We can see that Tommy’s perception of the warden’s duty is strickingly different from Sam’s. To Tommy the top priority should be protecting others from Dream (even if it means compromising the security of the prison), while to Sam the top priority is keeping Dream locked up.

“My therapy update!” We all knew I had to include this one. It’s actually really great because:

1) Him actually reacheing out to Puffy to get therapy means that he actually recognises that he needs help and is willing to ask for it, which is the first step towards healing

2) Him acting so happy about it is actually such a good message for the younger viewers to see that therapy is nothing to be afraid of and it’s not taboo

One more thing we had him wanting to remove his own statues as they’re a grim reminder of his death in a scene that is very similar to Tubbo on the 16th asking to remove the decorations of the day of his execution.

“I don’t think it’s a particularly good idea to... try and kill Dream. I don’t know how canon lives work for you anymore, but I only got one left” As I pointed out in the other post the 2 main reasons why Tubbo is reluctant about the plan are that he’s on his last life and that he managed to build a life for himself with Snowchester and Ranboo that he doesn’t wanna loose.

“Listen guys, I’ve experienced death now, it doesn’t matter how many lives I have left now, I’m NOT willing to go through that again” “Yeah that makes sense actually, that makes sense” This is an interesting question though of how many lives he re-acquired. We know Jack came back with 3 when he did it, but then again, normal rules don’t seem to apply to Jack Manifold. Also I wanted to include Ranboo’s quote there just because he’s literally been nothing but supportive and I love him for it.

Also all 3 teens decide at once that ignoring the Egg will most definitely make the problem go away, because that has always worked in the past of course! (Also, honestly, good for them. Let the adults take care of something for once!)

“I’m not very god at smal- that’s not true” “Mhmm” “So eh... you guys heard The News?” “The news about what?” “The news about...?” “You know... what-what’s been happening...” “What’s been happening?” “About- about umm... George” “About George? What happened with the Gogmeinster?” “Oh yeah, he got banned! Twice” “No no, he... he grew a third ear” “Really? Oh man!” “Oh yeah! I’ve seen a photo of that on instagram!” So, aside from this being so funny, the reason I’m highlighting it is because if there is one thing Tommy never struggled with in the past it was small talk. He could literally start blabbering with anyone about anything, no matter how dumb, with absolute confidence. Now he’s struggling with everything (both here and later in the Nether we have similar scenes for it). He is insecure about everything he says and socializing seems much harder for him. Regardless both Tubbo and Ranboo still go along with everything he says with absolute confidence, which seems to help him quite a bit. Considering that his biggest desire seems to be to be treated the same as he was before having them not pointing out his obvious insecurity (while still very obviously noticing it) is probably quite a big thing for him.

“Why are Punz’s eyes red?” “Why? Oh- Where is Punz?” “Oh, that might mean we have to kill him, he might kill us on sight” “Yeah, he might try to kill you. Where are you Tommy by any me- where are you?” “Yeah, stay away from him” “No I can fucking take him man!” “No because you get scared of damage...” “Tommy... yeah” “I don’t get scared of damage!” “That’s not true” “Tommy where are you?” I loved this scene so much! Tommy didn’t actually even see Punz here, he only saw his face on the players tab, but the other two were immediately on the defensive. Also this is what I mean when I say that it’s not that they don’t acknowledge Tommy’s situation, they’re just trying to give him some normalcy, because, as soon as he is in any actual or perceived danger they’re immediately in high alert.

“You’re like a living ghost” “I think that’s just called a human Tubbo” “You’re like a human” “That’s just called someone who is alive” “You’re treating me differently” So two things here:

1) Tubbo still has a lot of confusion towards the whole revival process an that’s what he was trying to express. Ranboo was not particularly happy with his choice of words though and kinda got the defensive tone again

2) Tommy shuts down very fast any time any kind of change is mentioned. In this case the change being Tubbo’s perception of him.

That said they manage to recover the situation really fast with Ranboo making a comparison between Tommy and Jesus (they’re teenagers, what can I say?)

“Tubbo I feel like we’ve grown less close while I’ve been in prison and dead” “That’s ‘cause you’ve been gone for such a long time...” “Do you like me less?” “Nope!” “Well it feels like you do” “Well, that’s all in your head then!” “No” “Maybe you superpower is immagination” “Maybe my superpower is anxiety” Well Tommy, do my job for me, will you? But yes, these kind of thoughts (fretting about what others, especially your friends or family think of you) is extremely common for individuals suffering from anxiety disorders. Also what Tubbo did here was really important, even if it is the bare minimum, he still provided the ressurance his friend needed and that’s good of him. Also, while Tommy’s dependence on Tubbo does shine through quite a bit during this stream Tubbo does continuosly set up healthy boundaries for them (introducing and keeping firm on his relationship with Ranboo and admitting that they did grow apart a bit and he is still confused about Tommy for example), which is extremely good. Ranboo is also presenting himself as a viable option for emotional support, which will actually be good for Tommy in the future as this would mean breaking out of the habit that was ingrained in him of relying on one single person every time.

“I’m not afraid of anything! The only thing I’m afraid of is, you know, waking up in the morning and...” “The- the thing your afraid of is waking up in the- are you alright? Are you- are you alright man? Are you good?” That’s concerning! But, again, very fitting with his newfound extreme anxiety he seems to be experiencing. Also ConcernedBoo, he just care about his friends and is worried. Pretty sure Tommy fits together with Michael and Tubbo in the circle of people he’s willing to protect.

Also, in case people were wondering, Ghostbur wasn’t handing out sugar because he was a fake Ghostbur, but just because Ranboo gave it to him and it was the only thing he had. Same goes for Tommy calling Ghostbur “Wilbur” and acting as if he was Alivebur and Ghostbur only correcting him after quite a while: it’s not because he’s fake, it’s because he gave permission to Tommy specifically to do so before. As I mentioned in the other post their relationship is complicated, but Ghostbur very much cares for Tommy a whole lot and he came back specifically because he heard Tommy needed help again, it’s not so weird he’d allow him to do stuff he doesn’t allow for others.

“Last time I spoke to you was like a few days ago...” Now, as some people pointed out this could simply be Ghostbur memory being sort of foggy and him not realizing how much time passed. But the OTHER theory is that he remembers talking to Phantommy (which we know happened thanks to Quackity’s lore, as they visited Glatt’s gym together). Honestly both are plausible (if the first one was true then meeting Phantommy may have simply made him upset and he could have forgotten about it, or perhaps he could have just forgotten that Tommy was dead).

“Ghostbur do you want him (Wilbur) to come back? Because I- I don’t. I don’t think that I do ever” “It’s... I... umm, hm. The-the world needs structure and order and he- he was good at that. He did that-” “No. The world needs less villains and he was a villain if I’ve ever seen one” “But a- a villain is just- is- sometimes the line’s a little blurry. You could say a little blurry, a tiny bit, it’s like a- a villain it’s just a hero you haven’t convinced yet” Now, as much as I love Ghostbur he’s half wrong here. Let me explain:

Simply put not all bad people can be redeemed for one thing (for example someone like Dream could never be redeemed because he hurt so many people in such horrible ways without ever regretting it), and secondly describing a villain as a “hero YOU HAVEN’T CONVINCED yet” puts the responsability of that persnon’s actions on their victims. As a matter of fact it’s most definitely NOT up to the ones who’ve been hurt to reabilitate the ones who hurt them (which is why Sam managing the prison now is considerable a conflict of interests). They shouldn’t even be forced to forgive that person if the person DOES change for the better. And here’s the crux of the issue: Wilbur hurt a LOT of people. He hurt Tubbo, he hurt Niki, he hurt Fundy, he hurt everyone who joined Pogtopia. And more then anything else he hurt Tommy. He was abusive and manipulative towards him and Tommy has every right to never forgive him. He has every right to be scared of him and regard him purely as a villain, because that’s what he was for him towards the end of his life.

Ghostbur bringing him back in the hopes that he’s changed at all just means that, once again, the responsability of his possible reabilitation will be left entirely on the shoulders of the teens of the server and the same goes for if there is NO reabilitation. The destruction will, once more, be left for them to deal with. Tommy specifically will have one more person who abused him to deal with. Wether Wilbur will or will not ally himself with Dream doesn’t matter, because he was still a destructive individual on his own (despite of course being that way because of his own mental spiral, but that just makes him more sympathetic, it doesn’t justify his actions nor make them any less hurtful for those around him).

Also Wilbur’s been dead for 10-12 years in Limbo time, I can’t imagine that doing wonders for his mental state...

There is a scene after that conversation where Tommy was talking about how being dead was, Tubbo asked a question about it and Tommy got upset. Of course the others got confused about his reactions since ha was already talking about, so, to clarify: the probable reason why anyone (aside from Ghostbur apparently) asking him questions about it upsets him is probably because of Dream. He mentioned multiple times now that Dream treating his death as a science experiment when he revived him was extremely traumatic for him. He hates the idea of being “just science” to the people around him. Ghostbur seem to be an exception to this, but that may be because Tommy seems predisposed to just trust Ghostbur more from an emotonal stand-point (perhaps because he reminds him of how Wilbur used to be before he spiraled).

“I love monster energy” “Monster energy is kind of scary...” “Mhm, it’s for monsters...” Man the very low-key constant self-deprecation sure it’s kinda worrying... I really do hope that someone will help him with his very obvious sef-esteem issues at some point.

“He (Wilbur) spent a lot of time around a bad guy. He spent around a decade, you said, around Schlatt and Schlatt- Schlatt’s the bed guy, Right?” “I don’t think Schlatt’s the only bad guy” “Him and Eret are the bad guys, right?” Once again Ghostbur’s view of things is very naive and still very much stuck in the past. It’s been so long now since Eret betrayal, and they tried to redeem themselves since. Meanwhile it’s also been months since Schlatt died, and, even back when he was alive, he was far from being the only arguably bad person, Wilbur being right there along with him if we consider what his actions caused. And now we have Dream and the Egg, we have Quackity indulging in torture, we have the syndacate having a gestapo arc, we have Jack back on his goal of killing a teen. We can be sympathetic toward many of this people, but this doesn’t change the fact that they hurt others a lot or that their objectives or actions are objectively morally wrong in some cases. By now it’s honestly pretty hard to draw the line of who IS and ISN’T a bad guy.

“Cobble is GOOD, people don’t like it when I use cobble though...” Again, the usual self confidence is completely lacking. This is worse then post exile: back then he still had the full confidence to build an ugly cbblestone tower on Techno’s front lawn, now even using a bit of cobblestone makes him self-concious.

Also apparently Sam instructed Sam Nook to keep Tommy specifically away from the prison for his own safety. Man’s still looking after him even if he probably won’t manage to do it directly for a while (at least until Tommy forgives him, if he does).

That’s pretty much it! It’s everything I’d consider important that I could find in the stream!

@mysweatymakerstudentworld

#tommyinnit #tubbo #wilbur soot #ranboo #ghostbur #tw abuse #tw manipulation #c!wilbur critical #I guess?#analysis #dream smp #/rp #my post #long post #though long ass post would fit better #I seriously just made a two parter on a block man roleplay huh?#god what is my life...

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cblgblog · 3 years

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Imagine Mildolyn, "Illicit Affair", Modern AU. Where Gwen's campaigning for Congress and all the meet and greets, showing up for charities for publicity, her 'cause'. At one for special needs children and their foundation she meets a very young CNA named Mildred and sort of falls head over heels in the dumbest of ways, both just love struck. Except she's campaigning to be in Congress, she's a politician, she cannot be queer and chasing after 19 year old ex-foster kids whos brothers are set to be the youngest executed on Death Row in California in decades for appalling crimes. But there she is, in hotel rooms her supporters pay for, with someone she shouldn't be with, trying to find ways to overturn cases that turned stomachs with their brutality, because a pretty girl smiled at her and called her 'ma'am' while showing her around the foundation/care home she worked at with children no one else had the time/patience to care for. Of course it goes terribly with 'dirty little secret' vibes, the breast cancer diagnosis announced on twitter before she tells Mildred in person, even if it's such a minor case ('so they say') and caught so early that it'll barely leave a scar, radiation won't be much of a deal at all. She doesn't get to tell Mildred that, she just gets to hear on Fox news about how the democrat's gonna die a horrible death and panic.

Mildred who has no patience for politicians and their fake concern, using patients as photo ops. It’s manipulative, it’s distracting to the staff, it’s awful, okay, she hates it. She is, in fact, a tad bit rude to Gwen when they meet. Gets her a death glare from Betsy Bucket, gets Gwen intrigued.

“Republican?” only half-joking.

“No.”

“Is it the suit? Should I have worn a different suit? I wanted to, but I’ve been told this one tested better.”

“The suit is fine.” It’s more than that, actually, but Mildred will not be saying that aloud, nope, uh-uh. “I don’t much care for politicians.”

“Ah, we have that in common then.”

“I doubt we have much of anything in common. Ma’am.”

And look, Gwen doesn’t usually go in for the chasing, the hard to get. She’s got enough trouble chasing votes. But this woman is so good with the kids on her ward, so patient. She’s got Disney scrubs on and as much as she’s got no time at all for Gwen, she seems to have infinite amounts for those kids. She stays with them individually, longer than any of the other staff Gwen sees, but she still manages to get a dozen things done in half as many minutes. And she’s also gorgeous, there’s that.

And Gwen has no good reason to ask her out for lunch. Honestly, none. Nothing good can come from this. Mildred asks if the citizens of California will be paying for this meal and Gwen swears that isn’t the case, no, absolutely not. Even still, Gwen doesn’t expect Mildred to say yes. She doesn’t think Mildred expected Mildred to say yes.

But she does. Tells herself it’s for Edmund, maybe this’ll be the one politician who listens, who’s willing to look past the surface facts, willing to help. Except she gets there and they don’t talk about Edmund. It’s not because Mildred doesn’t know how to bring it up, she’s made her case dozens of times. She just…they don’t talk about him, and that feels like a betrayal, but Gwen’s kind and funny and fascinating (much to Mildred’s annoyance), and she just…doesn’t feel like getting into it.

Meanwhile Trevor, Gwen’s campaign manager/law school buddy/best friend/lavender marriage soulmate, if they were in a different time, is like bitch, what’re you doing? Yes, everyone knows you’re gay as hell, but you can’t be chasing girls right now, you can’t afford to be distracted. You especially can’t afford to look distracted. And you can’t be robbing the cradle while looking distracted.

“She’s not that young.”

“Uh-huh. She wears Winnie the Pooh clothes.”

“Scrubs, those are scrubs. Scrubs aren’t clothes.”

“Uh-huh.”

“She works in a children’s ward, Trevor.”

“Uh-huh. I really wish you wouldn’t do this, but since you care nothing about me and my mental state and all the hours and hours of hard work I’ve put in for you—”

“After badgering me into hiring you over someone more qualified.”

“Hey! More qualified. I resent that. Anyway, if you insist on ruining my day, at least wear that face cream I gave you. Should make you look less like you’re robbing the cradle.”

“Go to hell.”

“And don’t do the oyster thing. Not on a first date, in the middle of the campaign.”

“It’s not a date, it’s just lunch.”

“Uh-huh.”

Gwen doesn’t do the oyster thing. Not on the first date, which neither of them acknowledge as a date, for entirely different reasons. But then there’s a second and a third, and sex, lots of sex, and it’s harder to pass off as just friendly.

And yeah, the sneaking around that Gwen hates. That Mildred says she doesn’t mind, and she actually doesn’t seem to all that much, which Gwen finds slightly concerning. Mildred’s good with secrets though, she’s good with being kept a secret. Mostly. Which again, Gwen finds concerning.

There’s pillow talk and Mildred admitting more about herself than she has to anyone, ever. Which still isn’t nearly as much as what Gwen admits, but it’s a relative thing. And still, Mildred doesn’t talk about Edmund. Gwen finds that one out on her own, stumbles across some old photos, a scrapbook of Edmund’s crimes. Gwen’s briefly concerned that Mildred is one of those people who’re deeply attracted to serial killers, but the truth is…something else.

Mildred tells her things. Some of the deeper, darker stuff, but not much, not yet. Tells her how she’s written to everyone she can think of because he’s a boy, okay? He was in an impossible situation, they both were, no one ever helped them, so Edmund decided he had to die. No one helped them before, no one helps them now. There’s anger and tears and Gwen holding her and she can’t help asking why Mildred didn’t talk to her sooner, if she’s had no problem asking for help from strangers.

“Because you aren’t,” Mildred says in a way that makes it clear she’s figuring this stuff out as she says it. “A stranger, you aren’t. You never were and I couldn’t…I didn’t want to become one to you. I didn’t want you to look at me like that.”

“Oh Mildred…”

Mildred doesn’t actually ask her to help. She doesn’t want Gwen to think that’s what it’s all been about. It was supposed to be, but it isn’t. She doesn’t ask. Gwen digs into things herself, digs into this kid who was barely double-digits when he did these things. Made all the headlines at the time, but that was over a decade ago, he’s been locked up ever since. Most of Mildred’s money goes to him, one way or another.

Gwen hides it from Trevor—the murderer, not the sex, he knew about the sex before she ever said anything—for as log as she can. But he’s always been nosy, and now he has a paid excuse to be nosy, and he nearly has an aneurysm when he hears why it is that Gwen’s suddenly digging into this case instead of kissing the babies of gay couples, like she should be.

Gwen cannot do this. Nope, absolute no. She cannot be sneaking around with the younger sister of the kid they’ve made all the documentaries about. Doesn’t matter that she’s running on a platform of prison reform, especially as it pertains to juveniles, this is not the case to start with, especially when she hasn’t won yet.

And Gwen knows. She knows. She argues with Trevor about it until he decides they both need to stop because Gwen has a speaking engagement tomorrow and she can’t sound hoarse. There are many further arguments, arguments about principles over politics, but Gwen knows he’s right. She cannot, should not, be doing any of this, at least not yet. It’s dangerous, it’s selfish, Mildred deserves better than being someone’s secret again. Gwen should break it off, at least until the election. She’s not being fair to either of them like this. They should stop, at least for a few months.

Except it’s Mildred and she’s totally hijacked Gwen’s everything, and the thought of stopping makes her ill, and everything about this is terrifying, the most terrifying thing ever.

And then there’s the checkup and the routine mammogram. Gwen started those earlier than most because somebody’s aunt on somebody’s side of the family got sick, somebody’s cousin on the other side did too.

Scratch that, there’s a new winner for most terrifying thing ever.

It’s good, they say. She started early, they caught it early, this is good, they have treatments for this. Good, they say, while Gwen damn near passes out. She’s got a campaign to finish, she can see the Too Sick to Serve headlines already. A bald look would not test well, she’s sure it wouldn’t. She talks to Trevor about that, about the campaign, until he tells her to shut the fuck up, yanks her into a crushing hug. He cries, damn him, and that makes her cry.

She’s glad he’s there.

She wishes Mildred was.

She is also relieved as hell that Mildred isn’t, that they’re on opposite sides of the state right now. No point having Mildred see her like this, having her worry. She’s got enough to worry about, enough to hurt about.

Not that Gwen isn’t planning to tell her. She is. It’s only been a few whirlwind months, but Gwen knows enough to realize that a lie of omission would be a bad, bad, bad idea where Mildred’s concerned, regardless of intention. Gwen doesn’t think of hiding it anyway, not really. Mildred deserves better then that. When and how to tell the public…that’s a completely different clusterfuck of a situation, but Mildred, Gwen just wants to tell her in person. That way Mildred can see her face when she promises it’s no big deal (hopefully without seeing how terrified she actually is), and Gwen will have all the paperwork and things she knows Mildred will want to see, and they can hold each other, and it’s just, it’s not phone call news.

Except then it’s headline news, because somehow it’s leaked. Fox News is having a field day, certain corners of the Internet are already gleefully writing her obituary, and she’s missed literally hundreds of calls by the time she gets a look at her phone. At least half of those are from Mildred. Mildred who actually sounds hysterical for the first time since Gwen’s known her, that bastard on the news with the hair, he says you’re dying, why aren’t you answering, how long have you known, please, please pick up the phone, just pick up the phone god dammit.

She’s managed to keep Mildred a secret for months. This? This doesn’t last three days before it’s everywhere. Gwen does get an I love you for the first time ever, but seeing as Mildred’s sobbing over her voicemail when it happens, the joy is somewhat muted.

#Ratched #ratched au #mildred ratched #gwendolyn briggs #mildolyn #Mildred ratched/gwendolyn briggs

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phoenixdnasty · 4 years

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The Problem with Season Five

this is already going to have a lot of you in the replies yelling at me. obviously, massive SPOILERS for s5 of she ra and the princesses of power if you haven't already seen it.

okay, so She Ra is definitely a kids' show, but it has a lot of themes aimed towards an older audience: abuse, war, found family, destiny and knowing who you are. I loved She Ra because it made me feel empowered, made me feel seen. after this last season, however, I don't feel the same. I will, however, talk about what it did well.

What She-Ra s5 did RIGHT

I very much enjoyed seeing the character development for most characters come to the forefront here. For example, SW returned to her original motivations. When she lived in Mystacor with the other sorcerers, her thirst for power was borne of a desire to fight the Horde. When she was rejected, then she chose to do what she did. We see a return to that in s5, where she takes a stand against Prime by enlisting Castaspella to stop her if she tries to take any power for herself. She ends up just wanting to help, to do what she can, which was excellent. Glimmer, Bow and a bunch of other characters are given some love here as well. I especially enjoyed seeing Bow and Mermista take on leadership positions in the absence of Adora; it was an excellent look into another facet of their personalities.

Character interactions in non-serious moments were, for the most part, good. Swift Wind and Scorpia being bros was not something I knew I needed but something I want more of. Netossa basically being Batman and knowing the weaknesses of everyone around her was great and an iconic scene. Bow thinking Catra was super adorable was also an excellent moment in the season and I could watch 9 more seasons worth of that. Something that surprised me was Entrapta's "not good with people"-ness being talked about and addressed by the other characters and explained by her; I wasn't sure if that was ever gonna be talked about in the show.

Side note: thank you Crew-Ra for giving Scorpia her own musical number, it was great.

Prime was also a fascinating enemy. He's this sort of religious figure, this world destroyer who's been around for seemingly centuries, maybe much longer. He's cold, calm and calculated. I've seen it pointed out that he's everything Hordak is not. He's manipulative, knows body language and facial expressions, and has a perfect grasp on how to get exactly what we wants. My favorite aspect of this season was the hive mind control. This was a very interesting plotline to me, and I thoroughly enjoyed HiveMind!Catra as well as Wrong Hordak. I loved the idea of pitting allies against each other and the angst and emotional weight that carried.

Going to use that point to segue into one of this season's strengths: Netossa and Spinnerella. Wow! We get a chance to see what a healthy queer/wlw relationship looks like, and two background characters get major upgrades in relevance. Two diversity points for one being a big girl and for the couple being interracial (in our world anyway), but diversity is the norm is SPOP and we might have to stan forever. It was extremely heartwarming and resulted in one of my favorite scenes to ever show up in animated media (one which I'll be stealing to add to my vows if I ever get married):

It was beautiful and I will absolutely never shut up about it.

There were some beautiful moments this season!! Absolutely gorgeous. A highlight for me cinematically was episode 5, which will probably bother some people when I say what I will below. I will be honest, the new transformation sequence and the scene of Adora holding Catra as She-Ra was powerful and had my heart pounding with excitement. It was awesome.

On the other hand...

What She-Ra s5 did WRONG

I'm going to break my issues with the final season down one by one, starting with the narrative of abuse.

From the very beginning, abuse is the most prevalent theme in the show. Prime (HP) abuses Hordak, Hordak abuses SW, SW abuses both Adora and Catra, and Catra abuses Adora. I liked the Crew-Ra tackling this issue. Abused people abuse people, right?

Why was everyone redeemed in s5? (Well, except for Prime, he was blasted away by She-Ra.) Hordak was given a blank slate to start over, even though he was the reason Etheria was war torn for at least a few decades; SW was given a hero's sacrifice, where at the end of her life she finally decides to do some good; and Catra is immediately forgiven for doing one good thing and all trust in placed in her simultaneously.

Hordak and H. Prime as abusers are pretty cut and dry; at no point are they ever remorseful for their actions, except for Hordak in the case of being abusive to Entrapta. SW is much more of an interesting character to analyze, because her motivations are geared directly towards herself. This seems to change in the final season, when she returns to her original motivations from back when she was in Mystacor. Defending her home. In her pursuit of the power needed to defend Etheria from the Horde, she fell into darkness. She began to abuse Adora and Catra.

One could argue that the hero's sacrifice she was given for redemption was unneeded. SW was an individual addicted to power. She was manipulative, using fake affection as a means to control. She didn't deserve a redemption. The only evidence we have of this supposed change of heart is a line to Castaspella: "...and stop me if I try to take the power for myself." Okay... so, SW, um... what changed your mind? Was it Micah? Because at no point has he forgiven you. In fact, there should've been much more hostility between the two of you (which is a point I'll address in a moment). In all honesty, the relationship between SW and Micah reminds me of what should've happened between Catra and Glimmer, or Catra and Scorpia.

And Catra... My problem with her story is that she was kinda just... forgiven? instantly. no repercussions, no long talks about feelings, no... consequences. Catra got the girl and that was it. A small list of things she did over 4 seasons, in no certain order:

Scratched what was implied were scarring marks down Adora's back

Was the cause of Angella's "death" #angelladeservedbetter

Kidnapped both Glimmer and Bow

Opened a world-ending portal all to ensure Adora failed

Also pushed Adora into what looked like an abyss

Verbally abused Scorpia into leaving

Wanted to pit Corrupted!She-Ra against her friends (dehumanization)

Got Entrapta sent to Beast Island, a deadly place no one ever returns from

And this is just the stuff off the top of my head. We all knew Catra was going to get a redemption, but this one was completely undeserved. She apologized to Adora and Entrapta. Two very short apologies for what canonly was at minimum, months of abuse, manipulation, intent to kill (which is literally mentioned by Adora) and general disregard for anyone or anything but revenge for something that didn't even deserve it. The entire cast should've been outraged. Glimmer in particular had a very big reason not to ever forgive Catra ("I'm not losing another parent!"), but it was all glossed over.

The biggest issue with season 5 was the abuse plotline completely dropped. You can't spend 4 seasons explaining how the cycle of abuse affects you and everyone around you... and shelve it. And we know the reason why it was shelved.

Let me first preface this with the fact that I am super happy we got representation. As a queer nblw who grew up feeling alone, it's so good to see things changing in media. An onscreen wlw kiss on a kids' show is groundbreaking and I'm very happy that She-Ra broke this barrier.

But all representation is not good representation. Catra and Adora is not a good representation of a healthy relationship.

Catra is shown throughout the series to be very unstable. This is even prevalent in season 5, when Adora "chooses SW" over Catra, she runs away. This breaks Adora's heart. The last thing that Catra needs is a relationship when she hasn't even confronted the issues that she has. There's no healing done in season 5, no therapy as the fandom loved to meme about, no long talks about forgiveness and the hurt caused. There's no callback to any of the pain and anguish that Catra put Adora through. Catra may love Adora, but if there is no healing done for the both of them, their relationship will fail. They will fall into the same cycle again. Adora will do something Catra doesn't like, Catra will do what she's done for all of the show, and it will repeat until something breaks.

I'm going to talk about the implications of the ending we have now, and feel free to argue with me.

She-Ra is a kids' show. Abuse is one of the main themes. Catra is shown to be an abuser. Here's what we are teaching younger audiences:

a. if you love someone enough, maybe they'll change

b. everyone deserves a second chance

c. your abuser will change as long as you're loyal and never stop trying to love them

d. things someone does to hurt you mean nothing in the wake of forgiveness

e. if someone who hurt you changes suddenly and wants to be back in your life, you should let them back in

Character interactions for the things that mattered (plot threads from previous seasons, general personality clashes, etc) were absent this season, in the moments where they mattered the most. (The best three in my opinion were Scorpia and Perfuma, the BFS inviting Catra in, and Mermista and Entrapta.) Glimmer and Adora should've had their time to talk. Scorpia should've gotten to say her piece to Catra. SW and Micah should've interacted more. Micah and Glimmer should've gotten more than an introduction!

I'm not going to get into how the entire final season was wrapped around making Catra and Adora get together (a fundamental writing no-no; it never ends up working), or how it was bad writing. I just want everyone to think critically for one moment. There are so many other glaring issues in what was, overall, a stellar show. If there was another season, or some mini episodes where the characters talk out their problems and past transgressions against each other, then I could excuse She-Ra. But I doubt we're going to get any of that. So I won't.

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scoundrels-in-love · 3 years

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Almost 300 years a week later, here are some of my thoughts on Dan Ah and her actions through ep 11 and 12. I will try not to repeat too much of the points I made here, or elsewhere in my rambles, but if it happens, it happens. + I won’t operate on mindset that you’ve read it.

First, I think her saying ‘apologies are meaningless, I can’t take back things I said, only make up for it’ is incredibly telling of her as person and the kind of environment she grew up in - the high society and family where apologies are dished out hollowly and never followed through with intention of changing something for the better or your behavior. Time and how you spend it is very important to her. She even says as much in her confession and I think it only outlines how much her time is the one thing she tries to have control of, and exert it (over herself as well). Considering the concept of possibly terminal illness that she suffers from, it makes sense. She doesn’t have time to be patient, no one will wait for her, including her own health. Yeong Hwa is the one immovable object that forces her to slow down and readjust her whole approach to life and it’s been... Not comfortable, necessarily, but it’s been functional, so she struggles to redefine it, especially without real example.

Second, there’s lot of parallels to be drawn between her and Mi Joo. And I ended up writing this all backwards, so I am not sure if I’ll manage to include it, but in some ways, Mi Joo’s line about ‘I value myself more than anyone else’ both in the sense that she’s the most important to herself and that no one else values her truly highly is very reminiscent of Dan Ah’s attitude and the way she admitted she isn’t in control of her life entirely o Mi Joo.

And there’s. of course, that moment when Mi Joo responded sarcastically to Seun Gyeom, later to apologize for it, which he took in a stride (much as he had said that he had never felt Dan Ah walked over him unjustly), because he does understand where they come from and how they work, on a certain level (even if he underestimated just how his father would strike and manage to hurt Mi Joo). I think Dan Ah isn’t at place where she cay say that yet, but I do believe sentiment is within her.

If someone asked what motivates Dan Ah, her answer could be similar to Mi Joo’s - fear and obsession, rather than Seun Gyeom’s regret. Fear of being controlled, of being weak and sick, obsession of having and exerting certain power and keeping yourself safe. Now, this point altogether is purely speculation on my part, of course, but that’s my read on the character, but also her anxiety has been mentioned several times and anxiety is basically that - fear, especially of things going wrong/being out of control, if we wish to trivialize it.

And although Dan Ah merely adds that whatever she had, got taken away from her, she basically used same method as Mi Joo - set her goals and opted for the best ‘fake’ that she could get, in this case her company, rather than being football player or the gallery. Both, in the same way, would rather put up walls to not lose what little they have but the men in their lives just... Bypassed them.

It’s interesting to note that similarly as Mi Joo is currently trying to sort ouf what is real and to go for, instead of relying on having a ‘fake’, so does Dan Ah - it’s likely she is planning to expose the illegitimate status of both her brothers to gain what is technically rightfully hers (hence asking her younger brother to side with her even when it will not be comfortable for him).

Third, I think the way she’s seeking out Mi Joo and her opinion is very interesting. And it does loop back to Yeong Hwa as well!

From the very start, we see that Dan Ah actually cares to listen to other people to an extent (she asks her secretary what she did wrong to upset Seun Gyeom, even if she ends the conversation how much simpler it’d be if all of us thought were similar, which is strongly undermined by all of her interactions with Mi Joo and even Yeong Hwa essentially). She is interested in experiencing being opposed and challenged in a way that is not downright demeaning as she does in her family. She finds their view on world interesting, if somewhat incomprehensible, and listens to it, processes it inwardly, even if her initial reaction might be defensive. (Also, it shows from start she’s willing to admit she doesn’t have all answers, same as she does with Yeong Hwa telling him that she doesn’t know what answer he wants - as she would need to know in business deal which is what most of her world consists of.)

But in some ways, I also think she is interested in what Seun Gyeom and Mi Joo have created and how. She basically instantly could tell Seun Gyeom is interested in Mi Joo which is implied as rare occurrence (or perhaps even the only time since she says she’s the last woman he liked and he debunks the theory), she asks several times what Mi Joo sees in Seun Gyeom that makes her so protective of him (which I think is both a way to see how deeply Mi Joo cares for him and to see more of Seun Gyeom). But also in some way, although it is her own act to let Seun Gyeom, she “loses” him to his own path and Mi Joo both. Because I do think she cares for him as a friend, perhaps only one she has.

Although she puts Seun Gyeom’s picture by the trash, it’s actually not taken out for several days and it’s definitely not because the secretary or the cleaner are neglecting their duties. Rather, same way as he didn’t throw away the honey but handed it back to Yeong Hwa, the secretary is aware she’s not really emotionally throwing him away. Because once she likes something, she never really stops, as per her own admission.

So there’s this certain feeling of loss that she can’t quite admit to herself and want to know both what Mi Joo saw and supported in Seun Gyeom and how and a yearning for something similar, because this is basically the first friendship/not work based relationship of the kind that she sees. (The same way she marvels is this how full-blood siblings are supposed to be when Eun Bi is upset about Seun Gyeom’s picture and how she defends her brother and then, Dan Ah actually ‘tattles’ on her so he can protect her, which can be covered up with excuse it was over the schedule, but was it really?)

In fact, she seems to be somewhat envious of relationship her brother has with her secretary, saying he still cares for her brother more and also the way she wanted to be included in the whole cat talk. She is upset when he doesn’t say he’s her person, but employed by the company, she protects him the way she knows how to (regarding revenge kick) and generally cares for him. She just wants someone truly and personally on her side, even though she probably has a hard time admitting it to herself which results in these odd and halfway there and nowhere attempts, especially paired with the fact she doesn’t really know how to establish not-work-related connection on a deeper level.

I will add point fourth here, although it’s still technically third. It’s safer, far more practical and logical to stay detached. But the heart wants what it wants and it’s friendship, connection, being liked for who she is and being challenged but not seen as lesser, with someone who won’t smile because she’s his boss, although that sort of control is precious and hard fought to be had in part of her life.

Caring for something or someone is relinquishing this control, basically inviting the same result Seun Gyeom got taste of at ep of 12, the result she already experienced with her dreams of being football player crushed. Except if it involves another person, it increases the chances of being hurt by them exponentially. And it’s also worth considering that if her relationship with mother was close, she’s also already experienced abandonment and grief of losing someone dear and close. (Which, of the leads, only Mi Joo knows and even then it’s more the absence of reflection what other people around her have which hurts, but in a different way, as per my experience.)

Concept of Mi Joo’s friendship, and Yeong Hwa as a whole, become very images of these unsaid wish fulfillment because they’re not trying to be.

They’re themselves, argumentative and challenging, and teasing, despite her being ‘above them’ in power hierarchy, leveling the field by merely ignoring it, and, initially, she doesn’t even try to get Yeong Hwa sign a contract, it’s only when her own yearning for his work (and for him), and him denying her any of it becomes a problem that she ‘admits’ it was her own fault for not drawing the sort of lines she’s used to with everyone else, and even then she’s not really thrilled about him agreeing to it, because it’s not really what she wants from him, although it’s what would be the safest and make the most actual sense within her world.

Even then, as her employee, he refuses to follow her orders and tells her plainly - if she wants something, she is to be vulnerable and invest herself into it (she actually tries, by smiling because he had said it was cute) and she has to admit to herself and to him, that he has grown onto her, not as a ‘vending machine’ or ‘employee’, but person whose opinion and feelings toward her are very important to her.

Also, it’s very telling how she tells him she belongs to herself, of course, and that he, too, can still belong to himself. She wants him as individual separate from herself, but the thought that he is firmly on her side obviously makes her very happy. In some ways, it’s also upgrade from ‘my person’ claim she makes toward her secretary, a learning curve.

Fifth, I suppose. While I rewatched some scenes to make sure I wasn’t actually misremembering, I started to think of another motif that repeats through her conversations.

Dan Ah repeatedly tells him not to have expectations, sentiments, disappointments toward her. From one side, it’s to draw a clear line of employee/employer and view each other in a detached way (that she tries again and again herself, but fails to), but from other, is it that simple?

She is almost crying when she asks him if he’s really stopped liking her and from preview, we learn that no one has asked her out before, seemingly? Probably because she was too much of a boss ass bitch, but still possibly left with a certain sense of inadequacy and that ‘when I am being apologetically me and I will always be that, I am not likeable although I do not entirely understand why’, as per her wondering why people always think she’s mean when by most of her society’s standards, she is rather thoughtful.

Her want of gallery has been brought up several times, her older half brother often says her pick of artist will never be good enough, her father still sees her as a tool to marry off. She as person with her goals and dreams and what she has achieved, just isn’t good enough for people around her at large.

The moment he cares for her, the moment she inherently becomes capable of disappointing him. The moment she cares for him, the moment she becomes capable of disappointing him. And that thought, of doing that and not enough to Yeong Hwa who has sneakily smiled his way into her heart, the growing awareness she truly doesn’t know how to be in some aspects, is overwhelming and painful and she tries to shut the door to it.

Also, he tells her he likes her no matter what he does, but he hates it, which I imagine is double the punch and she tries to find a solution that would make him happy and stop hating it - the perfect answer, as she would in a business deal, but she can’t, until she commits to the truly mortifying ordeal of being known (as suggested by Mi Joo).

Sixth, I really liked that she (or the narrative) didn’t make fun of Yeong Hwa crying. In fact, she’s eyerolled about her younger brother’s temper, but not really in the present made fun of him for apparently being a ‘crybaby’ in the past. I think that in a sense shows her actual streak of empathy and maybe the fact that she’s familiar with need to cry herself and doesn’t find it ‘weak’ as most ‘tougher’ characters would. Also perhaps that she cares for her younger brother more than she has admitted to herself, similarly as she kept denying she cared for Yeong Hwa and went rather far to hurt him.

#run on #jtbc run on #kdrama #rainy watches kdrama #it's only midnight and I've been writing this on and off for two hours...#and it's 1 of 4 rambles #and I don't even know if it makes sense

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floxalopex · 3 years

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I'm so sorry. No, I didn't even have my morning espresso yet. But I'm already stimming.

Soooo, it's actually a post about color palettes in Spop. Or at least, it was supposed to be that.

There's a post in the Entrapdak tag about how Hordak is likely demi. I've already expressed my unconditional love for this headcanon, being demi myself, and I added there that I even like the headcanon for bi-aromatic bisexual-demisexual biromantic Hordak. I talked briefily about Entrapta's sexuality (she is either bi, pan, or maybe omni). I also stated that I don't like the fact that they made Entrapta almost cheat on her bf just for the sake of implying that she is not straight. Before everyone freaks out, let's get into my point.

First of all.

Like I said, it's very canon that in Spop you can find certain color palettes for characters which can be similar to LGBT+ flags and so that we are given hints about their sexuality and gender identity.

Some of these are more subtext than others. I for example, being obssessed with genderfluid man-demiboy headcanon for Hordak, like to think this: the genderfluid flag is made out of basically Hordak's colors minus pink-purple. After Entrapta makes him the new armor the flag is complete, the crystal is there. Hordak is a lot trans coded and I (as a lot of trans pages) like to think that Entrapta is the methaphor of a support system who makes him realize who he really is, not wearing a heavy painfull armor that makes him look more masculine, but something softer and lighter that is truly fitting for him. Something more feminine and that makes him feel strong for the first time in his own skin.

Anyways, we have similar things for Bow (I recall a flower crown made by Perfuma with bi pastel colors). Glimmer is basically a walking bi pastel flag. These two showed some interest for same sex characters, especially Bow. For the same reasons Sea Hawk (who canonically had a bf) and Mermista are most likely bi too.

My sweet angel Entrapta too, like I said suspicious choice of colors for her tiny cupcakes and her family portrait. She is clearly there too.

One thing that as a demi monogamus mess I still don't like about Spop is the fact that they prirotized a lot showing the character's sexuality over their feelings. I mean, that's the aim of the show, portray LGBT+ community members. Which is amazing, but still maybe they could have handled It...mmm...better?

Crew-Ra: "look, Arrow boy showed interest for Perfuma and Sea Hawk, clearly bi!"

Me: "yh but by doing so he is breaking Glimmer's heart..."

Crew-Ra: "what? Nah, they get togheter in the end, everything is fine"

This applies sadly, to Entrapta even more. Like I said in the post I would have liked if they gave us more clear hints about her sexuality...but before meeting Hordak.

I still have not truly understood how she sees robots, if more as pets ("bad robot!"), friends, or sex toys.

She has a sister-owner-mother-friend relationship with Emily. Yet when Scorpia talked about her feelings for Catra in season 1 Entrapta said something about how she felt the same with Emily (demi spectrum for her too or just bad writing and the intention to depict her as creepy somehow?).

The point is the Crew-Ra said Entrapta has the ability to humanize even something people may find inhuman. That's why Entrapdak exists according to them. I like get their point, still it's makes me (and apparentely not only me) so sad to see her "flirt" with the Horde Robot and have "sex" with Darla.

Yes, I used those verbs with intention. Entrapta names Darla, to give a name to someone means marking they as an individual. We see totally a bi flag behind Entrapta during the Darla-scene. I want to believe she didn't see Darla as a person there, but that's ...not the case I guess. Sadly.

I don't like this. I'm not biphobic my bi friends, I'm demi, I know what if feels like when even your own community makes you feel "fake" and "not real". I would have actually loved more bi scenes for Entrapta, but not like this. Not after Hordak.

One can justify this saying she was just horny because she was exited to rescue bat bf, or maybe she "gave up" a bit on the idea of saving him and wanted to move on.

Honestely It hurts so bad, whatever your interpretation. I just like (or pretend) to think she wanted to masturbate on her own or something, which is healty even for married couples. Gosh, that's a lot of bad writing.

Lastly, why don't I like the headcanon of her being poly? Why don't I like this cheating stuff? I've already talked about it in the previous post (I'm okay with poly relationships in general), but let's just say that, whatever your interpretation for Hordak sexuality, he is very monogamus.

Plus, I know that "hips don't lie" (...when did I start sweating?) but still I think Hordak may have some hard time pleasing his princess.

It's not about the apperence (or lack) of sexual organs. I mean nothing can stop Entrapta. It's about stamina, it's about endurance. It's about coordination without the armor. Plus he still doesn't like his body. He is now surrounded by 10.000.000. healtier and younger versions of himself. Do you think he would be okay with Entrapta cheating on him? Even if she openly tells him? This gets worse if you headcanon him as demi. I truly don't understand why people cheat, really I lack a synapsis or something. I'm atheist, I know marriage is something made up by humans for humans, I know that mammals are hardly monogamus. Still, call me romantic, call me demi, call me loyal, call me a penguin, I am very monogamus.

And I bet bat boy is too.

The "good" knews, at least for me? I bet Entrapta is too, she knows how much a person can suffer for feeling "not enough". She loves him too much to do something like that to him by the way.

Dear Crew-ra, please: love, loyalty and respect are better than openly show a sexual attraction. Or at least you could have done both, write things differentely. But you didn't, deal with it, don't rush things at the finale, that only leads to bad results.

#entrapta #hordak #entrapdak #spop #spop discourse #darla #i hate season 5

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nuttyrabbit · 4 years

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Mach the Mantis Shrimp

Finally, after a year and some change of creating this character, developing him, and promising that “SOON I’ll HAVE A BIO I SWEAR”, I finally finished this motherfucker’s bio.

This is probably one of, if not the most developed character I have next to Gambit and Frost, and I can only hope that the bio reflects that. Thanks as always to @pidgeonspen for doing the ref sheet, helping me edit this bio, and just being a great friend in general. But enough chit-chat, the entire thing’s under the readmore

Name: Shin Shika, but changed to Mach in his late teens

Age: 20

Occupation: Bodyguard to Emperor Frost of Osakiru; head of Frost's secret police (known as the Zettoryokai), and one of four members of the Black Lotus (Frost's inner circle)

Location: Tokeydo, Osakiru

Sexuality: Bisexual (Deeply in denial about this however. Mach asserts that he's straight)

Personality: Boisterous, snarky, feisty, volatile, eager to impress -- these are all things you wouldn't expect from one in Frost's inner circle, yet they're the perfect words to describe Mach. A highly spirited individual, Mach is always raring to go, eager for something to do or somewhere to go; he can barely stand to sit still, even if for just a moment.

This eagerness and restlessness carries over to his constant desire to impress others and be the center of attention. More often than not Mach puts on a veneer of confidence and toughness to convince those around him that he's "cool" and "manly", and this is reflected in just about everything he does, from the clothes he wears to the way he talks to his general "devil may care" and "I'm too cool for you" attitudes. Unfortunately, this attitude can be rather offputting to those around him and has frequently put him at odds with one of the other members of the Black Lotus and occasionally even with Frost himself.

It should be noted, however, that beneath this attitude and seemingly carefree persona lies many deep-rooted insecurities; Mach is uncertain who he is and what he wants out of life, doing whatever possible to distance himself from his former social status and the expectations he had lived under as "Shin". This insecurity manifests itself as a desire to impress those around him - especially Frost - through whatever means possible. It also manifests itself as constant need to deny certain aspects of himself including his sexuality and even his belief in Frost's cause (Mach vehemently believes that Frost's cause is just and that Frost has made him "better")

It also manifests itself through what is perhaps Mach's most defining trait -- his anger. Mach's temper is as short as it is volatile, exploding at the slightest of provocations and often accompanied by bursts of yelling and physical violence. In most cases, during bouts of extreme anger, he will relegate himself to the palace's dedicated training room, but when that is not available, he will takes his temper out on whatever's close by, whether it be a inanimate object, another person, or some instances, even himself. Regardless, it is not uncommon to see broken glass, punctured walls, and bleeding knuckles in the wake of one of his fits.

Partially as a result of his anger, Mach has grown to love violence, and revels in partaking in it, especially when it comes to his work. This is something he's not shy about admitting to, and will sometimes even boast about specific acts of violence he has committed, whether it be on the job or off it. It should be noted however, that Mach doesn't like to kill, and in fact killing or seeing someone be killed greatly discomforts him.

However, beneath his snark, his eagerness to impress, and even his anger, lies a surprisingly genuine kindness. Those lucky few who manage to worm their way into Mach's life will find that the shrimp is surprisingly kind and even understanding beneath that thuggish persona, and when push comes to shove, Mach will prove that he cares, even if he attempts to say or prove otherwise. In addition, Mach is very much a bleeding heart, and if he were to ever become romantically involved with someone, he would make very little attempt as to hide that fact, showering them in physical affection and engaging in all sorts of PDA.

The best way to describe Mach is "unsubtle"- His affections, his anger, his snarm, even his insecurities are laid bare for all around him to see, even if he thinks otherwise.

Skills: At their base Mach's powers are based around his eyes. Mach's eyes, when activated (as signified by his eyes taking on a rainbow glow), can see the "weaknesses" in people and objects, as well as let him see in the dark almost as well as he would in the daytime. However, he can only keep this going for so long, and if he does it for too long, he gets terrible migranes and nausea.

With time, training, and focus under Frost's guidance, Mach's powers have improved, letting him not only use them for longer periods, but also granting him new abilities as well. These new abilities include being able to see through illusions and in some cases, through objects and obstructions. However, to use these new abilities, he has to maintain intense concentration, and he can do this for far less time than he can his normal abilities. However, perhaps with even more intense training and consistent effort, Mach could learn to use these powers just as comfortably as his normal ones, and perhaps take them even further.

Mach is also adept at hand-to-hand combat, and his preferred style is similar to that of boxing, specifically of the "inboxing" style, relying on quick, concentrated punches to specific points on his opponent and generally overwhelming them with offense. However, he can also (and sometimes does in the heat of anger) switch to a "slugger" style focused on just hitting them really, really hard with body blows and strikes to the head. In addition, Mach tends to combine this style with something akin to "dirty" fighting, often mixing in headbutts, sucker punches, elbows, and other dirty tricks to get the upper hand on his opponents

In terms of non-combat skills, Mach is rather skilled in the art of interrogation--or at least insofar as using physical violence to get information of those that the Zettoryokai are sent to capture.

Hobbies: Mach has a surprisingly limited amount of hobbies, owing both to how much he has to work, and to his need to "look cool" to others. One of these hobbies is that of video games. Mach tends to gravitate towards whatever's popular....in the West, mainly shooters and generally popular multiplayer games. He has a fierce competitive streak and absolutely HATEs losing in these kinds of games (as the sheer amount of damaged/broken controllers and holes in his walls will attest) and is an incredibly cocky winner. He's also a complete demon at rhythm games like Guitar Hero and especially DDR, but his need to "be cool" has resulted in him not really pursuing those...that and his tendency to break things makes those really expensive

Mach's other major hobby is exercise, and it's perhaps his favorite thing to do. Whether it be training in the palace's dojo, doing routines in the comfort of his own home, or even getting a few reps in while waiting for something else, Mach loves to exercise. He has a huge bias towards core routines and running, but will occasionally indulge himself in weights and leg training. He'll even try to get the other members of the Zettoryokai to spot him during his routines (they never do).

When he was younger, Mach also enjoyed indulging in more...deliquent activity: tagging walls and cars, breaking windows, the kinds of things misbegotten youth do, but owing to his position, he can't engage in those anymore...and some days he wishes he could.

Likes: Frost, working out, video games, junk food, sushi, ramen, Takeda and Penumbra (two other members of the Black Lotus who are the closest thing he has to friends), traveling (Mach doesn't realize it but he would LOVE to travel the country--and even Mobius), getting into fights.

Dislikes: "Fake" people, his family (or at least the memory of them), anyone who opposes Frost, killing, the idea of appearing "unmanly" or "uncool", coffee, a certain *other* member of the Zettoryokai.

Backstory: Born Shin Shika, he was the 2nd child of the affluential Shika family. With his father being an influential business tycoon and his mother a politician, it seemed as though Shin would lead a childhood free of want, but this was sadly not the case. The golden child of the family was not the young Shin, but rather his older brother, Kyo.

It was Kyo who was constantly showered in love, attention and gifts; Kyo who was readily adored and surrounded by family and friends; Kyo whose skills and promise earned him accolades and admirers, casting an ever-growing shadow over his little brother and leaving him in the proverbial dust. As a result, for most of his childhood, Shin grew up essentially alone, perpetually unable to get his brother's or parent's attention, the few friends he made turning out to be solely after his money--or his brother's attention. To make matters worse, his parents constantly compared him to his brother, asking the young shrimp to be "just as good" as him. And when they weren't asking him to be like his brother, they were forcing him to conform to their minimalist, "fake" way of life, all for the sake of maintaining their image.

And that was how it was for most of his youth: constantly living in the shadow of his older brother, never wanting for material goods but always wanting for one thing: attention. But things changed--or at least seemed to, once the shrimp went to high school. There, he came across something that would change his life forever: a band of deliquents that had gained a rather notorious reputation amongst the students and staff for being "tough", for being "cool", and most of all, for being "BAD".

Upon having a run-in with their leader, the young shrimp's life was changed forever. Looking at the leader of their pack, the shrimp saw in it everything he could have ever wanted: attention, to be "cool" like his brother was, if not cooler, and a way to spit in the face of his parents who had given him not an iota of love. And so he did everything he could to get into this gang and soon enough, Shin found himself amongst what seemed to be the first real friends he ever had.

From then on, the shrimp finally began to enjoy his life. Engaging in shallow flings, tagging walls, smoking, getting into fights, stealing, you name it, Shin was in on it with his new "friends". He even managed to snag a red hoodie from a store that he'd been eyeing for months, the first piece of clothing he'd gotten that wasn't just a hand-me-down from his brother or bought for him by his parents. It was his, and in a way, so was this life. He had finally gotten to live, and with it, had gotten the companionship, attention, and "coolness" that he had been craving all his life. It didn't matter that his parents disapproved, the most he got was a stern talking to every once in a while and a shake of the head as they immediately went back to fawning over Kyo. Even him dropping out of school earned him little more than a night of back and forth yelling.

It was all good for the up and coming punk until one fateful night: During his time in this gang, Shin had made himself a few enemies, and they saw it fit to jump him while he was with his "crew". In an instant, Shin's so-called friends, his "crew", his companions--were running away instead of backing him up. They had been "fake" this entire time, like everyone else. The shrimp's back was against the wall, and he was forced to take drastic measures to get out--and he did. What was supposed to be a chance encounter turned into a tragedy as the shrimp's efforts earned himself a victory--and the hospitalization of those involved--including the children of some very powerful people.

It finally got the shrimp's parents to pay attention--but rather than caring about his injuries or the fact he almost lost his life, they were furious with him. He had put their IMAGE on the line, he stood to ruin their reputation, his brother's reputation, and everything they were trying to do! The shrimp had clearly gone out of line in their eyes and was grounded--permanently. Not only that, but he would be forced to attend every single social event they hosted, in the hopes of turning him into a "proper" member of society like his dear brother.

Needless to say, the shrimp HATED it. But with time, the shrimp came upon a realization. He didn't just hate his parents, or his brother, or the people that had abandoned him. No, he hated this "fake" society as a whole! Full of "fake" people with "fake" smiles putting on "fake" acts and "fake" faces just to get some more money in their pockets and to be liked by everyone. For all he knew or cared, the whole damn country was "fake", and his parents, and his brother, and every single rich conceited fucking asshole he was introduced to were part of the problem. The longer this went on, the more he wished, he *craved* for a way out, to get back to how things were, to put these rich fucking assholes in their place.

That way out would soon make itself apparent, however, as when Shin began to actually listen to what these assholes were talking about, one name came up again and again: Frost. They constantly spoke about him, about how he had consolidated several of the powerful Yakuza syndicates into one, how he seemed to be "conquering" the country, and even of the rumors that he wanted to become emperor of Osakiru. The more they spoke of him, the more they spoke of his supposed plans, of his cold personality, of his desire to change things, the more the shrimp was fascinated. This "Frost", whoever it was, intrigued him.

Once he heard whisperings of the emperor making his way to shortly outside of Tokeydo, Mach hatched a plan: he'd find this "Frost" and convince him to let him join up. It'd be just like the old days, but this time he'd take this rotten fucking country and these rotten people and burn it to the ground and show them all.

Someway, somehow, the pugilist managed to jack a motorcycle and zipped out beyond Tokeydo to find this "Frost". It took a great deal of effort and some close calls, but eventually, he found the man, or well, leopard he was looking for. Upon asking him, however, the leopard asked the shrimp to "prove" himself in combat to test his strength. Thinking himself a professional at this point, the shrimp agreed....and was promptly made a fool of by the older, more experienced yakuza and kicked out. To make matters worse, upon leaving, he was greeted by police, who had followed the trail of the motorcycle, which had been reported stolen, and promptly arrested Shin.

His parents soon arrived, bribing the police to let him go, but doing so solely to preserve their image. Made furious by the shrimp's escape and his constant defiance, they decided the only course of action was to quite literally lock him in his room until he could "prove" that he was better, conveniently keeping him out of sight--and of mind.

Reduced to little more than a prisoner in his own home, humiliated by the man he wished to join, something within the young shrimp broke. But instead of giving up, of throwing a fit and accepting things as they were, something else happened. Shin found himself inspired. He felt that deep down in his heart, he wanted--no, needed to join Frost. He needed to become a part of what he was doing, and he needed to take these rich, fake assholes and bring them down a peg and get rid of all the "fake" shit in this country.

But most of all, he needed to become stronger to prove himself to Frost. And he had all the time in the world--and the tools to do it. Turning his prison of a room into a makeshift dojo, the shrimp trained furiously for the next 6 months, getting into hardcore physical routines, teaching himself to box solely through the internet and movies (they weren't perfect mind you), and building up his strength in general. By the end of it all, the shrimp looked--and felt like an entirely new person. Not only that, he saw the world around him in a new light--quite literally. During his training, he had awoken to his Aberration- a supernatural ability, and this one allowed him to see the "weakness" in all things.

The shrimp was different, that's for sure, stronger definitely, but the question remained: was he ready? Figuring there was only one way to find out, the shrimp once again broke out of his home and went to find the leopard. Luckily for him, the leopard had finally made his way to Tokeydo. Soon, the shrimp appeared before him once more and this time, challenged him

Shin fought ferociously, harder than he had ever fought before, pushing himself to his breaking point, but it still wasn't enough. At the end, Frost still stood victorious, and Shin was on the ground, on his back, defeated once more. Pushing himself up to his knees, the shrimp felt himself break inside. Why, why wasn't it enough?!? Why couldn't he do it?!? Why was he such a failure? Before he could stop himself, he brust out in tears of pure, unfettered rage, screaming about the unfairness of it all, of how he wanted so badly to join Frost, how he wanted to stick it to the "fake" assholes running this country, how he wanted to burn, burn, BURN this "fake" fucking country down to the ground and how he felt Frost was the only "real" one, the only one who could give him what he needed.

Eventually, the shouts and the tears devolved into unintelligble sobbing and screaming, and Shin closed his eyes in a vain attempt to rein them back in. But when he opened his eyes again, he saw something unusual--Frost was standing over him, offering him a hand up with a look not of disappointment or anger or mockery like he was used to from others, but of understanding.

Helping Shin to his feet, Frost told him he saw something within the young shrimp; something that would be vital towards his goal of bringing Osakiru into an age of prosperity, of making things right again -- and that he empathized with Shin more than the young shrimp could imagine. To Shin's amazement and excitement, Frost took him in and made him not just a part of his cause, but an enforcer; Shin became the leopards personal bodyguard, and his right hand man.

Serving under Frost, Shin had finally gotten what he wanted: he was part of something he felt was "real", and playing a part in making actual, tangible changes in Osakiru. To burn down the "fake" system and with it, the "fake" people who kept it running, and replace it with something "real" -- Frost's vision. But above all else, serving the leopard brought Shin the attention, validation, understanding and compassion he had fruitlessly, desperately sought throughout his life; in their short time together, Frost was already more of a father to him than his birth family had ever been.

Eventually, Frost made his final push on Tokeydo, intending to burn it all down and build his ideal country on its ashes--with Shin in tow. As the rich estates of the country's elite began to burn, Shin found himself back at his "home"--and face to face with his parents once more. Instead of expressing worry about where he'd been or happiness at seeing him again, they once again treated him with that same anger, that same disappointment, that same attitude of him not being "good enough" they always had, talking about how everything had been ruined and it was his fault.

Caught up in the zeitgeist of the push, and enflamed by his parents' refusal to see him as anything more than a worse version of his brother, Shin flew into a rage, beating both of his parents to death with nothing but his bare hands, leaving their bodies in the flames and watching as his childhood home, the prison he grew up in, went up in smoke, leaving nothing but ashes behind. He soon realized that he had not seen his brother, but truth be told, he could care less. His family was dead, his house was gone, his past life, his "fake" life was dead. All that was left now was him--and Frost.

But it was not enough. Shin wanted his old life, his old self gone completely, and decided to change his name. No longer would he be Shin...but Mach, named for the apparent speed of his punches.

Soon after, Frost ascended to the throne of Tokeydo, turning from the country's most powerful yakuza to its sole ruler, and he did so with Mach at his side.

Upon his ascension, Frost saw to it that Mach's roles be expanded. No longer would he just be the emperor's bodyguard, but he would also become part of the Black Lotus-a group consisting of the emperor's four most trusted--and most dangerous individuals who answered to Frost directly. Yet it did not stop there, as Frost soon put Mach in charge of his newly formed secret police--known as the Zettoryokai, and with it, become Frost's foremost enforcer of his vision, getting rid of those deemed threats to the greater good of Osakiru.

And that is where Mach remains. The shrimp continues to occupy his position as Frost's bodyguard, his confidant, and the foremost enforcer of his will, and he relishes in it. He finally believes that he is doing something good, something "real", that he's getting rid of the "rot" that had infected Osakiru all those years, and that he's getting the attention and respect that he had deserved all this time.

Little does he know, however, of the ramifications of his actions--or of Frost's true plans for the shrimp, plans that extend even beyond the emperor's demise.

#Sonic OC #Sonic FC #Archie Sonic #Mach the Mantis Shrimp #OC Bios #Sonic #OC Stuff #Sonic Fan Character #OC Bios and Refs

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glucofortireland-pillsinfo24x7 · 3 years

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tetsuwan-atom · 3 years

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Holy Grail War - Unraveling

(So, this is basically something I’ve been meaning to write for weeks. It’s in a specific verse about a specific event that had unfolded, that was plotted out between a few people. I have decided to give this event a bit of a ‘conclusion’ from the perspective of my muse and canon, to show how the story could have gone, how it could have ended.)

~~~~~~~~~~~

It really was like hell.

It looked like it, felt like it, like this was the most evil place, in all of existence.

Another dimension, another world but not at the same time. An experience that would burn into the retinas forever. A world in a world, like you had stepped into the end of it all.

And it really did seem like it was the end, of it all.

You never expected the Holy Grail to look like this. A beacon of such evil, of apocalyptic catastrophe. The very symbol that brought such chaos, time and time again, feeding upon the greed, the selfishness, of those who sought to use it to it’s truest potential.

But this individual wasn’t here for that.

This person had fought through the war. He had faced countless forces, foes, enemies. How many had to die? How many brought no other option to him, despite his attempts to make it out of the war without bloodshed?

A wishful outcome, that was doomed to perish.

The many he did save, those who joined him on the cause. Those he had to leave behind at the very end. Despite the pleas of those who tried to remain, he knew, he had to take care of this himself.

Because, there can only be one.

And here he stood. He stared evil right in the face, like it was his destiny to face this. There could have been others that would have taken his place, the sibling princesses, the spiky haired schoolboy, the Sorceress Supreme, but in the end he took his objective right to this moment.

He knew he had to take care of this himself.

Bowen Chuuno, The Mighty Atom.

He stared at the embodiment of the Holy Grail. He knew of it’s power, it’s energy, it’s deceit. How it calls out to him even now to turn back on all of his goals and make a wish he so deemed to come right from the heart.

But he knew better than to give in.

Hands gripped his IDND, a step forward in stance. He’s ready. He’s about to take the matters into his own.

To put an end to this.

For goo-

“Oh! There you are!”

Eyes widen in surprise. The male hesitates, stops, lowers his device. He’s not alone after all.

There is someone else here.

A voice, he recognises. A man he knows.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Adachi Shiro.

A supposed detective of the National Police Agency, sent to Academy City to investigate the concerns that were happening literally during the time of the Holy Grail War. A very strange coincidence. One that the male took with quite a bit of suspicion at that, despite his cheerful character.

He only turned his head, to the man in question.

“What are you doing here, Adachi? How did you get in?”

“What do you mean? I just walked through. I was asking your friends where you were and they pointed me here. I gotta admit they were all acting strange. They didn’t want to let me pass, but I needed to see you. They can’t just interfere with police business like that.”

Adachi had been Bowen’s ‘sidekick’ throughout the war. Of course Bowen couldn’t hide it from him when the fighting started getting bad. Even he knew better than to lie to a cop.

“I’m busy. What you require of me can wa-.”

“Hey.” The man interjected. “Is this the ‘grail’ you’ve been looking for? Kinda looks odd for a piece of metal, doesn’t it?”

In case your wondering, yes, this man does get on Bowen’s nerves... especially right now, though he knew to remain calm.

“...........Yes. This... is the Holy Grail.”

“Aahhhhhhhh! Well done! I knew you would be the one to make it! Them bad guys got nothing on you, huh?”

His smile is just... why does it irritate him so much?

“...I guess...”

“So, what you going to do, huh? You said it grants a wish, right? I bet you planned this right from the very beginning, what you wanted out of it. I can’t believe I’m here to witness a man’s dream finally being granted!”

“I’m not going to give it a wish, Adachi.”

“You’re... not?” He looks surprised, for sure. “But you came all this way. I was there as you kicked those guys butts for the good of the world. Why would you come all this way if you weren’t going to make a wish? Weren’t you going to do something for mankind? Weren’t you going to save it?”

Bowen hadn’t told Adachi of his intentions, because he didn’t feel the man needed to know. But now, right at the last moment, when he couldn’t hide it anymore, there was no reason to lie.

“I am going to do something for mankind, I am going to save it.....”

The blonde grips his IDND, as if readying himself a second time.

“....By destroying the grail for good..”

“....”

There was this... pause. A silence, an awkward silence. How long did it last for? Probably a good ten, fifteen seconds, before some form of response was found from the arrival.

“Hmmmmmhmhmhmhmhm...”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!”

...That was an unexpected reaction, one which actually brought the blonde to turn around and face the other, still serious, but with confusion now mixed into his features.

Why the hell was Adachi... laughing?

“You, you really think I’d actually let you destroy this artifact of grand power?!?”

“What... are you on about?”

“Come now. You’ve got a good brain, you can figure this all out. Am I really a cop? Why did I actually hang around you of all people while this shit was going down, huh?”

“......”

”You know. I found it really weird that you showed up out of nowhere right at the start of the war. Then when things started heating up you reeeeallly didn’t act like I’d expect out of a cop. It was like you weren’t too caring when people were driven to death. You were also acting very strange when certain things were going on. I had a feeling you were in this war all along.”

There was this pause, but in that moment, the expression on Adachi’s face began to change... no his FACE began to change. It turned.. paler... in colour.. and his eyes.. they were turning yellow. A sort of... sickly... unsettling yellow.

“....”

“Well it doesn’t matter in the end, does it? I got exactly what I wanted. I played you to ensure you were the one at the very end. Nobody else could match up to you anyway.”

“...What do you mean?”

“Don’t play coy with me! You know exactly why. Your reputation precedes you far more than what you understand about it! While everybody else was distracted I kept my eye on the real threat. They were so worried about that dumb boy and that girl.. and then the others. They were all so useless. ”

The man then begins to circle the blonde, in conversation.

“Right at the beginning my eyes were on you. But it was quite a ride, wasn’t it? You were so good at minimising the work we had to do, putting people on side, finding some way to drop them from the war without killing them. But man everybody was making it hard, wasn’t it? I almost took advantage of that situation when the lucky kid got sent away. Can you believe it, a fake marriage just for the war! I knew it meant shit at the end of the day. More people, more mess, a whole Kingdom trying to get in on the war, those two princesses asserting their dominance. Remember how you reacted at first? You didn’t like them intruding, didn’t you?”

“...I don’t like getting others involved. But they were here for the same goal. As long as the initial plan was followed there wouldn’t be any problems.”

“But the younger one was such a real bitch about it! Making it out that it wasn’t all about you. You didn’t want to be playing second fiddle as others meddled in your objective... I can relate, for they were meddling, in MY affairs!”

“I had to take a breather after all that. I left Academy City for a bit while you cleaned up the trash. Some ‘fighter’ chick caught me talking to myself one day. I tried to downplay it cause I didn’t want more people coming into it but.. the stupid bitch nearly got sucked into it! It would have been soooo funny, seeing a tourney fighter getting wrecked by some loaded-ass Servant! More junk for the janitors to mop up!”

“But then too... I was laughing at the beginning. You got paired with Stacia Sequenzia! An ‘Atomite’ helping another Atomite! The irony there is laughable! You even tried to put her on the sidelines too, but you know, Servants are there to help their masters! I wonder if you ever had to perform a Mana Transfer on her!”

A laugh escaped the man. He wasn’t looking for an actual answer.

“Then there was that guy who just muscled in just to fight everyone, he wasn’t even IN the war. What a waste of fuckin’ time. And the Makiris, the Einsworths. Those fools were all bickering and bitching and making a mess of things. I nearly lost my cover when the war was to move to England.. but I got to pull some... strings and keep it here where I wanted. They were all so concerned about the lucky kid. I was ‘lucky’ I didn’t get to see Violent Violet or that Crowley moron come around to the war. I got to focus my efforts on you while the families shat on about their supposed ‘vessel’.”

“...Vessel... you mean... Index?”

“You dumb piece of shit. Index. Please. Everyone looks at her like she’s a fucking meal. No. She is not their ‘vessel’. Come on, think. Think reeealll hard. Do you remember a girl that the idiot took under his wing?”

“Her... you mean.. Akatsuki Miyuki?!”

“Mmm! Strange isn’t it? They were going to use her as a vessel. Too bad it wouldn’t have worked. I wasn’t interested. I don’t give a shit about humans and homunculi anymore. None of them lived up to my expectations. I wouldn’t have even used your girl either. No, I only had one person on my mind. I got what I wanted in the end, didn’t I?”

“....That’s... me... isn’t it?”

“Oh. No duh, what do you think? Of course I mean you. The Mighty Atom! The one with the power to change it all! It had to be you. The boy would have just been a candy bar. Those two princesses? I would have just killed them the moment they tried to walk through into my space! It was ME that made you an initial participant, it was ME that got you through right until the end. I knew you weren’t going to risk the suffering of those around you because maybe deep down you knew it had to be you, that anyone else would have died one way or another. They all underestimate my power... even those influenced by gods.. but not you. You knew what I can do... you knew it had to be you.”

“....But then... what are you... if you wanted so much.. out of me?”

“...Do I need to spell it out for you, boy? I AM the Holy Grail!”

That.. that was a bombshell.. he didn’t see that coming at all.

“...Y..you...”

“Yes. Me. But I’m rather an extension of the beast, allowed to roam in a body that people could lower their guard around. Nobody ever expected the beast would grow intelligent, to form a mind of it’s own. I’ve seen it, I’ve seen how greedy and malicious humans can get, for peace and for power. I was never surprised by how much they wanted to take over everything for themselves... I always enjoyed it when they were the ones losing right at the end. And then there’s those that want a ‘utopia’, but still kill, still maim, like any life is a sacrifice for the good of others. And then I kill and maim them, an eye for an eye, along with many many others. I loved playing on their wishes, lulling them in, bringing out their true nature, leaving them vulnerable right at the moment I strike! In the end they all get absorbed... ready for the next war. But.... no matter how powerful they are, it’s never... ever enough..”

“I’m bored of this game, this charade. I’m sick and tired of prancing around in a shit body. It’s still fun to prey on the gullible but, I have always yearned for something far... far greater. What I am... what I really, really am, they never suspect what I can really, really do, what they were playing with from the start. The power they were using. They thought they could play god... for their sick, twisted gains! Through their sick, twisted means!”

“But now I’m actually going to become one... thanks to you.. I’m going to be born, properly born! I’m going to burst forth as the being I should have become in the very beginning. Humanity will crumble as I consume anything and everything. Mark my words this will be the last Grail War because of you. You soul will be used to complete the process... it will make me... me! There was truly no vessel greater than you! Even now I’ve been slowly draining your energy away to grow, to develop... oh isn’t this exciting! You’re going to be a part of multi-universal history, the end of everything! Nobody will get in my way! Your power will make everything happen at once! You, responsible for the end of it all. The beginning and the end, death for life, the rise and the fall! Everybody shall die, your friend, your girl, your family, everything and everyone... and you will be the sacrifice that starts it all! It’s inevitable, boy. You cannot fight what has already happened, what was lead to happen. The game of cat and mouse is over. This is your fate. This is my fate. The less you struggle.. the easier it will be, for both of us!”

...Boy... this was a lot to take in. A LOT to take in.. and he didn’t even have the time to process it all, not when he was actually being affected right now. Inhale, exhale, carefully, gently. Remain composed.. then face the man head on.

“Adachi.”

"You know, as well as I do, I'm not going to willingly give in to you and just let this happen. You know what I am, what I do.. and what I'm going to be doing right here, right now. Your words have further influenced me in the belief that the Grail must be destroyed. And it will be destroyed. I made that promise to everyone, to Camellia, to Academy City, to my world, to Touma... to my beloved. I had an inkling I might have been targeted, that if I wasn't the one doing it, I'd be made to do it. I always had this feeling in the back of my mind that if I let others try ahead of me that they were only going to die in the end... turns out I was right."

His eyes began to glow. The usual process, close the eyes, then open them with sparks flying.

"So rather than causing more death, rather than beating around the bush, I'm going to take the matters as I was always planning to do. This was always my fight, because I was always the target. You wanted me. You have me... but man I'm not going to give up until I have no breath left. I have done so much for the multiverse, for Academy City. I never thought I'd be in a position where it all hinged in the balance like this. I know the stakes... I know what I must do. Whatever it takes, you will be destroyed for good, so that nobody can use you... so that you... can no longer use anybody. I won't let you live. I will not bring your birth. If I have to erase your very soul and existence to end this, then so be it."

“.... Well, so much for making this easy. I had a feeling your resolve was too great to kneel before me. No matter..”

“....But then there is no harm in having one last bit of fun before the next stage of life! And it would be better to wear down your.. rambunctiousness to make it easier for me to devour. Do not underestimate me... either way.. this.. will be your end!”

...And as the darkness swelled, the blonde readied his IDND again, at the man, at the embodiment of the Holy Grail. If this was to be his final fight, so be it.

This... would be the very fight that decides the fate of everything.

Of Academy City, of the multiverse, of everything.

So it shall be.

Game on.......

#DRABBLE #rebirthtxstamentproject #whitecrownsblackthrones #Kinoverse!Bowen #This is the leadup drabble #I don't think I'll write the actual fight scene but #I know I have the ending scene all planned out.#I've had this in my head for AGES #and it would have been better if the original chunk didn't get EATEN #but anyway here we are!#Adachi Shiro : Metropolitan Wolf

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theunderdogwrites · 3 years

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If you have a problem with Cookie Monster, then I have a problem with you.

Someone recently asked me how I come up with things to write about and post. Well, these posts are bona fide dumps of random thoughts that sneak in when I’m not engaging any part of my brain. I love them because they’re unpolished and exactly how my mind endlessly prattles on in conversation with itself. Truth be told, it’s usually in the shower. And the dumping of these words here is comparable to spring cleaning. It helps to declutter the mind too from time to time.

Last week my Mom and I were talking about the recent decision by Dr. Seuss Enterprises to stop publishing six of their books because of racist and insensitive imagery. For all the people screaming out there – THE COMPANY MADE THIS CHOICE. They were not forced by cancel culture, but rather listened and took feedback from audiences including teachers, academics and specialists in the field as part of a review process. This is called being responsible and allowing for growth through intelligent conversations. The company recognizes that certain depictions of Asians and Black people are hurtful and wrong and have taken steps to acknowledge these facts. They are NOT banning these books and have said they’re committed to listening and learning going forward.

Here is the list of the six book titles and the year they were first published:

- And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street (1937)

- McElligot’s Pool (1947)

- If I Ran the Zoo (1950)

- Scrambled Eggs Super! (1953)

- On Beyond Zebra (1955)

- The Cat’s Quizzer (1976)

Have you ever stumbled upon a journal or something you wrote 10 years ago and it made you cringe? Anyone who says NO to this is probably in possession of some of the worst poetry by their hand, in the world. I know that if I was to release some of the stuff I wrote down from a number of years ago (and in reality, some stuff as recent as 3-4 years ago) I’d be embarrassed by their level of absolute lameness. I write with emotion and unless you’re Tucker Carlson or stunted inside from your head to your toes, you know what it means to evolve. It is what we’re supposed to do, otherwise we are simply stuck in one place forever and I for one can’t think of anything more grotesque than remaining the same.

“You are being presented with a choice: evolve or remain. If you choose to remain unchanged, you will be presented with the same challenges, the same routine, the same storms, the same situations, until you learn from them, until you love yourself enough to say “no more”, until you choose change.

If you choose to evolve, you will connect with the strength within you, you will explore what lies outside the comfort zone, you will awaken to love, you will become, you will be. You have everything you need.

Choose to evolve. Choose love.”

Creig Crippen

It is OK to make mistakes, especially when you don’t know any better. Applying how we have grown as a society to the way we behaved 80 years ago is absurd. We are allowed the opportunity to become better before an angry mob comes along and without discussion wants to rip our character to shreds. There are so many chances for real conversations to promote development that are not happening because people are being so quick to condemn and cancel. Fucking stop it! You’re not a crusader. You’re not the moral authority. You are not the Universe’s gift to man/womankind placed here to draw red circles and X’s on every little thing you deem ‘incorrect’. What you are, I suspect, is empty. And I do not know what it is you’re missing, but you won’t find it in a state of ‘over-wokeness’ and tumbling around looking to smite Cookie Monster for passionately enjoying baked goods.

There have been calls to tear down statues and eradicate movies and people for basically what is THE PAST. If you have an actual working time machine, I suppose you can go back to the set of ‘Dirty Harry’ because apparently:

“The film mocks liberal judges and do-gooders, and the villain claims police brutality, planting the seed that other such charges are fake moves to get sympathy.”

I can’t even with that one.

The removal of statues… ok, I understand this one. But I am not of the mind where these statues should be destroyed and essentially erased from history. I am fully onboard with placing the offending bronzed individuals into a museum with a plaque stating something along the lines of: ‘Once upon a time many of us had some crazy fear-based ideas and poor ethics that marginalized large groups of our fellow human beings and created negative stereotypes resulting in a great deal of hurt. We are trying to be better than those placed before you behind the velvet ropes.’

The past cannot be expunged. But it can be a teaching tool. And in some cases, the past can be used to say – “We still suck, but we’re at least trying to evolve into improved people!”

Sadly, instead, we’re taking down Pepé Le Pew. Let’s not believe women when they come forward with claims of sexual abuse, but let’s ban together and get this cartoon skunk with perceived rapist qualities, cancelled. Bravo. Has Pepé Le Pew been a naughty guy? Well, if you break down his actions through the lens of adults – he is incredibly aggressive and borders on being a pervert. I also suspect he’s a chronic masturbater. I grew up watching Looney Tunes (which should surprise NO ONE) and I never liked that skunk. But not because he was overly persistent in his search for love, rather because he was so obnoxious. Worst character on the show. If anything, the French should be offended because I grew up believing all French people were smelly, forceful jerks.

I am flabbergasted at what we are finding urgent and of significance these days. We allow ourselves to become distracted with the stupidest things; revealing exactly where our priorities are placed. Now do not come at me and accuse me of saying racism is not important. Sit your little crusading ass back down because that is not a thought I’d ever possess. This post is not about racism.

I do not give a flying fuck if you hate Megan Markle, love Megan Markle or think Oprah practices her reactionary facial expressions daily in the mirror, but the fact a pregnant woman went on TV in front of MILLIONS of people and admitted to being suicidal while pregnant with her first child and was met with indifference, ridicule and hate… is fucking disgusting.

The mental health status of a pregnant mother is less important than going after Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street because he is misrepresenting homelessness. Oscar is NOT homeless. He lives in a garbage can and if you knew anything, you’d know that garbage can is spacious and in terms of square footage, it is probably the most expensive home in the neighborhood. See? I can distract with silly things too.

I am going to end all this randomness with a warning…

Victor Frankenstein created his monster from old body parts and strange chemicals and it was brought to life by a mysterious spark. The monster is large and strong but with the intelligence of a newborn. Victor abandons the monster, leaving him confused and when he tries to integrate himself into society, he is shunned. Seeking revenge on his creator, he kills Victor’s younger brother. Then after Victor destroys his work on the female monster meant to ease the monster’s pain and solitude, the monster murders Victor’s best friend and then his new wife.

Ok, I think it is wonderful that our society is taking inventory of certain items and doing our best to right some wrongs… even though I believe many people are being persnickety assholes. But what has been created recently… let’s call it ‘cancel culture’, where “THEY” (please someone tell me who all the THEY people are because I’d like to know who is this organized) seemingly go in search of people, places and things to ostracise… is starting to create a monster of a backlash. (Again, this is not about race/racism so don’t start chirping about white privilege etc.)

If you listen carefully, you can hear the groaning. And the frustration. This isn’t about going after history or childhood memories and bleaching them clean of inappropriateness by today’s standards, it’s about trying to control what people are allowed to think, feel and speak. And the people are getting annoyed. Just like Frankenstein’s Monster when his grotesque appearance wasn’t accepted by society. And we all know what happened next.

#dr seuss #pepe le pew #cancel culture #frankenstiensmonster #oscarthegrouch #megan markle #covid

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appleclydervinegur · 4 years

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Week 5 Digital Citizenship 1: Politic Engagement

For political engagement, I am unsure what to expect from a political topic since I am not interested in politics whatsoever because I think politics will not be affecting me in my life. Hence, before I start going deeper with the relationship between social media and political engagement. I will start by explaining the meaning of politics in the real world and the relation to social media.

What is politics?

According to Webster (2020), politics is an activity or competition where competing interest groups or individuals for power and leadership as this can be called government. Some people often interpret political activities as dishonest or shameful practices since the main objectives of candidates are to win and gain control over a government.

What is the relationship of politics with social media?

The use of social media for political purposes has been discussed for a long time since it was used by candidates in the election to approach the millennials which are to influence us to vote for one of them. In 2018, Most of the millennials who voted in 2012 are now seniors that have a bad perception of the government and learn their mistake from the previous voting while younger millennials are still new to the politics and did not have any of these mindsets as their precursor. Young millennials use social media as a way for entertainment or debating on who is going to win for the election and also they basically vote based on the candidate who has the most influence over them (Alarcón, 2018). Most of the politicians utilize social media like Twitter and Facebook to promote their election campaigns such as Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and Bernie Sanders to influence young people and adults to vote for them (Gov, 2020).

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However, the main downside of using social media such using sly or deceptive tactics to attract more voters for election campaigns such as the Cambridge Analytica Scandal where Cambridge's purpose is to sell the data of American voters to a political campaign to assist Donald Trump and Ted Cruz Campaigns. The other drawback is that there is much fake news is being spread to social media users in a way to make them believe it is real (Bromfield 2018).

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Is politics just about governance, or is it more?

When we hear the word “politic”, the first thing that comes to our mind it will be related to government, democracy, and the presidential election. This what I usually think when I hear politics around me and it makes me wonder if politics can be more than these topics. As indicated by Candela (2020), politic is not limited to only that three areas, it can be more than such as how social inequality groups (class, race, gender, etc.) influences politics, how public personalities, social movements, and trends outside of the formal institutions of political power affect formal politics, and powers relationships within social groups such as families, workplaces, media, etc.

We can take an example of social inequality especially race which can be found in the case of black lives matter. The news discussed that a man named George Floyd was arrested by the officers because he is suspected to pay with a counterfeit bill of 20$ and the employee report it to the authorities. The key to the events is shown in a video where a police bodycam footage record George Floyd is being restrained by the officers as Mr. Floyd said he could not breathe for more than 20 times (Anon, 2020). As we can see from this news, we know that it is also going to impact us in a way what if we were in Mr. Floyd's position and we would think this is an unfair treatment when we are getting arrested in a different way because of our different race. Even this kind of issue gets a negative comment from Trump that tweeted out “when the looting starts, the shooting starts” as a reference from Miami Police Chief Walter Headley in 1967, in response to is aggressive policing policies in black neighbourhoods. Of course, Twitter taking action by labelled the Trump post as a restricted post in regards to that matter and it is still accessible to the public for viewing but with a lot of requirements to access the post (Jones, 2020).

In my opinion to George Floyd's death, I can say that the society needs to put more attention to this racial problem when people racist towards other as this is not a good thing since as a community we should respect each other without looking at their gender, race, and class. Donald Trump as president of America should not be racist toward black neighbourhoods but instead, he should show anti-racism and build a good community where everybody is treated equally. Hence, due to his aggressive comment on Twitter, all I can say that he should not be the president of America, and maybe another person with a sense of humanity and equality is suitable to take his place like Barack Obama for instance.

Sorry if there is a mistake that is made in my post by me when discussing politics because I have a little knowledge in politics. Hehe XD

Please comment your opinion in regards to my post and don’t be shy to share your opinion :)

Reference:

Webster, M 2020, Definition of POLITICS, viewed 2 October, 2020, <https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/politics>.

Alarcón, J 2018, Understanding the relationship between social media and politics, viewed 2 October, 2020, <https://blog.another.co/en/blog/understanding-the-relationship-between-social-media-and-politics>.

Gov, Y 2020, YouGov, viewed 1 October, 2020, <https://today.yougov.com/ratings/politics/popularity/politicians/all>.

Bromfield, S 2018, Pros & Cons of Social Media in Politics, viewed 3 October, 2020, <https://www.uloop.com/news/view.php/263903/Pros-amp-Cons-of-Social-Media-in-Politics>.

Candela, L 2020, Politics, Power, and Authority | Boundless Sociology, viewed 3 October, 2020, <https://courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-sociology/chapter/politics-power-and-authority/>.

Anon 2020, The last 30 minutes of George Floyd's life, viewed 2 October, 2020, <https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-52861726>.

Jones, R 2020, Twitter hides Trump tweet for 'glorifying violence', viewed 3 October, 2020, <https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-52846679>.

#MDA20009 #week5 #Digital Citizenship 1: Political Engagement

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foxydivaxx · 3 years

Text

The Mystery of the Black Rose Chapter 7

Amelia sighs as she gets out of the canteen and heads back up the stairs to her office. She has not told her husband about the strange message that she got the other day. It is best not to disturb him with such trivial matters. Besides, one of their friends could be trying to pull a prank for all she knows.

Still, she had a nagging feeling that whosoever sent that knows her dirty secrets and not just hers but those of the family as well. Did Wura tell someone something and maybe that friend is trying to avenge her death?

She keeps on having those thoughts as she settles down in the office and gets down to work, or at least tries to despite her emotions.

Meanwhile, Tope was lying down on the couch, his eyes staring up at the bare white ceiling. His heartbeat accelerating as he sinks deep into his thoughts. He to has not told anyone not even his wife about those messages as he does not think it is a threat.

I am no saint but at the same time, I suppose it is a given that my sins will come and haunt me now especially since I was a total bad boy when I was much younger.

He sighs, a look of regret on his face as memories of his dark past flow in his mind. He almost jumps up when he hears his phone buzz. Picking up the phone and preparing for the worst, he checks his messages and sees yet another mysterious message which says:

Check this link

Raising an eyebrow, he copies the link and pastes it into the mobile web browser. His jaw drops as what he sees is what appears to be a gossip blog. The blog is called The Insider. The webpage is a well designed blog with a purple and white aesthetic. The blog had a lot of juicy details about various people the Davis family knew. It was at that moment that Tope suddenly remembers that Wura studied programming when she was in SS1 and was very brilliant at it.

Please don't tell me Wura did this. Or wait....maybe her friends are doing this for her. If that is the case, it was bound to happen at some point.

The real shocker was a story that was clearly about them, or rather it was about Violeta and Bisola.

Everyone knows the Davis family. Like who does not know them? Super rich, good looking individuals always dressed to impress.

But do not be fooled. These people are no saints.

Rumours have been spreading about a rift within said family especially involving the matriarch Mrs Violeta Davis and the youngest child, the now deceased Wuraola Davis.

An anonymous source tipped us about one particular incident where Mrs Davis apparently beat up her daughter for not bringing her mirror on time due to a photoshoot she did for her birthday. This is not the first time Mrs Davis would do such a thing to this girl.

Tope pauses as he reads this. No one told him about this particular incident. Not even Wura. So there are things I still do not know about this family. Really how much more secrets do we have to keep?

At that moment, his phone buzzes again as he receives a video from an anonymous source. He watches the clip and gasps.

The video in question was a video that showed the Davis family home go up in flames.

Mother. Bisola. What did you two devils do? This is more than Wura’s death. We have all hurt a lot of people.

Meanwhile Violeta is at the police station where they play an audio recording for her.

“I....I often wish that I was never born into this world. Sometimes I wonder, what exactly is my offence? Who exactly did I offend to suffer like this?!”

Violeta listens to the audio, fake tears already in place. That was definitely Wura’s voice.

Officer Tinu glares daggers at the woman. “Why? Why did you hurt this girl like that?! What you did to her is not discipline!! It is borderline abuse and you must pay for it!! You and that other wretched daughter of yours!!”

Another officer places a hand on Tinu’s shoulder as she tries to hold back her tears.

“I....I do not know what came over me....I-it is the work of the devil...” Wrong move on Violeta’s part.

“Say that after you rot in hell!!”

Just then an officer bolts into the room. “Officer Tinu!! We have searched everywhere for Bisola but no signs of her. Apparently she has absconded out do the country, leaving her husband and son behind.”

“This is unacceptable!! Go to the airport and go trace her whereabouts!!” With that the officer leaves.

Officer Tinu then glares at Violeta who tries to hide her face. “I shall seriously make you suffer even more.”

Meanwhile Bisola arrives at Prague with a pair of dark sunglasses on. She feels bad for what she did but nowhere in hell is she going to suffer for what happened to Wura.

Yes she might as well sacrifice their mother for that.

“Need to lay Low as much as possible.”

Back in Nigeria, the mysterious group that attacked the Davis home gather at a secret dark room. “So that Bisola ran away eh?” says their leader.

“Not surprising considering these.” One member holds up a bunch of fake passports and IDs.

Their leader smirks. “Oh things are about to get interesting around here.”

#Wattpad story #originalfiction #original works #wattpad novel #webnovel #fiction #family drama #mystery #thriller

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onisiondrama · 4 years

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PART 7 - video #13

(Click here for mirrors)

what’s up

(Sorry for the offensive language in this one. He’s pretty pissed.) - He wants to discuss the legal case. He filed an anti harassment protection order against two individuals. One of them has been harassing him for the last 8-10 years. This person deleted earlier videos, but Greg’s life is this guys’s obsession. It’s crazy how obsessed he is. Greg is no doubt on this guy’s mind 24/7. It’s creepy and weird. Lately he’s been documenting ever aspect of every interaction he has in Greg’s world. The dude just make $20,000 on attorney’s fees on a case Greg had dismissed. You guys payed some dude to show up to court and hear the case was dismissed. Numbskulls. If you’re a Youtuber and someone tells you to stop talking about them, why would you hire an attorney to go into court and speak for you? Dude couldn’t even speak for himself. He was just sat there smirking like a jackass while he’s losing his hair and gets fatter. Total idiot, punk ass bitch. Greg was overwhelmed be how much of a bitch he was. - Greg was standing there with his bulletproof vest and people wonder why he was wearing that. “Christina Grimmie anyone?” He knows she wasn’t shot in the bulletproof vest area, but life is a danger when you show up to a court room where a bunch of people thinks you prey on children. Where are the children by the way? Who even made this up? Because he was blackmailed into sleeping with an 18 year old, now he’s into kids? He doesn’t understand the leap in logic. - The other person the case was against was someone who used to specialize in going after people who go after children. He’s trying to make it look like Greg would want to go after a child like that. It’s pathetic and one of the dumbest thing he’s ever seen. When he dated Shiloh when she was 17 1/2. They spoke to the police and they cleared him of any inappropriate images on his computer and everything. He was 100% cleared with Shiloh. Another relationship where he’s still married to the person, so that worked out. Another relationship where someone was 19. Another who was 18 1/2. Someone we don’t know about was 26. Someone we don’t talk about was 24. The wife before was 24 when they separated. People obsess over these relationships and try to relate it to children. They don’t want to go after people who go after 12 year old, they go after people who date adults. - Says this is the funniest thing: “Well they’re still mentally a child,” There are 50 year olds who are mentally a child and there are 18 year olds that are mentally 90. That’s a fact. When he was 17 he had the maturity of a 40 year old male. He was a little dark and goth, but very capable. - At the court case Greg is sitting across from this pasty, greasier than him, looks like he never saw the sun in his life, beta male, pathetic, he’s definitely getting a double chin soon.[Greg is laughing] He’s smirking at the judge and Greg thought he was an idiot because he’s smirking in court like an ass hat. Judges likes to see people taking it seriously. - Greg went to court and asked for it to get dismissed because anti harassment protection orders are more open and close when the person isn’t a public figure. The problem is you have an ex who hates your guts and now he wants to stalk you, that’s illegal. Now he started a tumblr about you so now in court he just has to say he’s protected by the Constitution, freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Your lawyer can argue that they’re a stalker, but that’s stressful. Now you have to argue the constitution. He avoided going in there and arguing the constitution against people who are Youtubers, not journalists. Journalism used to mean you work for someone, now it means you have a blog. - [This section is sarcasm btw.] Chris is still a journalist even though he was released from his contract after someone killed themselves. He’s a journalist because he livestreams, which is what a 13 year old could do. Congratulations. - Being a youtuber isn’t a prideful thing. If you think you’re a big deal because you have a few million subscribers, you’re a joke, Youtube is a joke. Youtubers who take themselves seriously and think they have an impact on the world are jokes. They’re all pathetic because there are real hardworking people out there like soldiers, construction workers, and scholars. Youtubers are morons. - Real journalists go to Iraq or go in a storm and talk about the weather. A journalist isn’t a dude who works with a dude who is perused in court for sexual assault while dating a much younger women while going after people online who date younger women and act like they’re predators. That’s “retard paradox.” - A journalist from Newsweek approached him in the courthouse and it was one of the most bleh experiences he had in his life. “Pathetic” is too much of a dignified word for this person. He walked up to Greg and said, “yo Onision. I really want to hear your side of the story. I’m not anti-o. I really just care about the truth, you know?” Greg ignored him and kept looking at his phone. The guy said, “Ok I get it, I get it. You don’t trust me but you gotta know you can trust me.” Greg wanted him to fuck off. He doesn’t trust a single reporter on this earth because they are looking for headlines, just like Youtubers. Especially Newsweek. The articles they write about him are totally baseless. They don’t care. He sees no credentials. He sees someone who flunked out of high school or didn’t go to any journalism school working for Newsweek. This guy followed Greg into the bathroom even though he knew Greg didn’t want to talk to him. “Just say one word Greg.” His name is JAMES. [He lists his old names.] They’re too stupid to get his name right. “I’m Greg James bitch!” [I have no idea what he’s quoting but he’s been saying that for a while now.] - He gets in the court room and there are emo girls with dyed hair everywhere. Fucking morons. “When did this court room become a clown show?” He mimics them giggling and saying “that’s onision.” He says he should have just brought mace. [He pretends to spray mace onto the people in the court room and laughs.] These chicks are taking pictures and saying look at his snow boots. He says he doesn’t have dress shoes so he wore snow boots. Those are his ass kicking boots. One stomp and you’re done. He came prepared for war. - Hansen’s lawyer comes up and says he was never served so they want it dismissed even though he’s well aware he’s supposed to be here cuz he sent me. Legally, Greg guesses, you have to get served in order to show up, but Chris publicly acknowledged he was supposed to be there. He could fly across the country to have the cops called on him but he can’t fly across the country to show up in court. Pussy, moron, douche bag. Where is the money going? What is he spending it on? His debts? You guys don't realize you're getting played because you paid someone $20,000 for $2,500 in fees, which he says probably wasn’t even that much because the case was open and close. The attorney wasn’t even there for an hour. You have pussy boy who has an attorney speaking for him and Greg speaks for himself. He tells the judge he got legal advise and is taking a different legal avenue. He is literally doing it right now. - Some dumb ass hoes, dumb ass bitches follow him into the elevator. This girl was sitting next to her sugar daddy who had a beard and was a blimp. She’s holding up her camera and she was a midget and she asks him if he’s having a good day. He’s standing there thinking, “all these stupid ass whooohhmmms”. [seems like he was going to say whores but stopped himself] He’s silent because if he says anything it would wind up being te-he-he bullshit. He had sunglasses on so he didn’t have to look at the dumb bitch in the eyes. - 2nd floor happens, elevator opens. No one got out. Bitches are going to follow him all the way to the first floor. They’re there because they want to see the circus, they’re the clowns in the circus. He was surrounded by fucking idiots. They show up because they want him to do what? Like when Hansen showed up at his house he was surprised Greg’s obviously fake videos weren’t real because he’s a boomer. He asks if people could start saying “ok boomer” because this is an actual boomer. He does math and says not exactly, but pretty much. - Court was stupid. He didn’t have a good time. He treated himself to taco bell and treated people to dinner because he saved money by not hiring an attorney. He knows the other guys spent a shit load of money. It’s amazing they could have done it for free. They hired an attorney so they could continue to harass someone. How low life is that? If someone took him to court for harassment he would just stop talking about them. He could move on. - When you file an anti-harassment protection order you can’t talk about that person either so it’s like a mutual contract to F off. He says that last thing was just speculation. He doesn’t know what the actual rules are. - He thinks it’s creepy and says a lot about a person when they fight an anti-harassment protection order. Why is it so hard to leave people alone? They’re harassers, it fits the definition. Not everyone is sane or reasonable. Just gotta keep going at it. People will keep cashing in on Greg. Greg owns all the channels. They get the revenue, but Greg gets the face time because they always think about him. Their whole job is him. “Fuck you.” He doesn’t know how you could waste the most precious thing you were given, life, on someone you hate. - He tells the emo girls that showed up to court to get a fucking haircut and to dye their hair a normal color.

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tabby-shieldmaiden · 3 years

Text

Another one for Friday Night Fights! The challenge hosted by @promptsforthestrugglingauthor . This one is a little weird, and admittedly was both inspired by me binging Girl Defined response videos, as well as my experiences at Church. It’s also written in second person, with the viewpoint character being a ‘nice church girl’. So, just a heads up.

Be a nice church girl.

You wake up Sunday morning, early enough to watch the beautiful sunrise that God had painted across the sky. Cheerfully, you get out of bed. You didn’t even have to set an alarm clock, because getting up at dawn on Sunday is just a habit to you. Of course it doesn’t bother you at all. You plan out your entire week around the couple of hours you spend in Church. Obviously you’d have slept early the previous evening. It is for your Father in Heaven after all.

You brush your pearly white teeth, carefully scrubbing over each one. They were white and shiny teeth. Of course they had to be. In Church, you could only be seen smiling. And no other expression could really be sufficient there. Before God, you simply had to present your best self, and what better way is there to exist in? Happy, cheerful, a delight. You simply were overjoyed to be there.

Your hair and makeup done. Perfected. Just feminine enough to be perceived as a perfectly charming woman. But not too flamboyant to the point where you would stick out. You pick out your outfit next. A simple dress. Floral patterned. A matching baby pink cardigan. White ballet flats of a fairly modest design. Nothing too sparkly, nothing too flashy. Just something simple but feminine. After all, it’s not like you go to Church to draw attention to yourself. All of this is to simply honour God. This was what everyone in Church wore, because it was modest, but presentable. And most importantly, no one would stick out. No one would individuate.

From your dresser, you reach for a simple gold chain. Then a simple set of earrings. They were fake pearls, which did make you a little upset. Because you knew a number of the other girls in Church had real pearl earrings and you knew you couldn’t exactly afford them. You prayed that God would help you with your sin of envy. After all, at the very least you did have those fake pearl earrings. Cheap-looking and uncomfortable as they are. You sometimes wished that you didn’t need to wear them. But alas, the look simply wouldn’t be complete without it.

You subconsciously catch yourself chewing your nail, but once you caught yourself you stopped. It was a bad habit. You knew. And after all that work you put into painting your nails, taking care of them, you really wanted to keep them in good condition. Just like how every other woman in Church had nice nails. They all sported evenly painted, unchipped nails. Your hands still shook every time you painted them.

People commented on your nail biting. How it was unhygienic, unsanitary, gross. You knew they just wanted what was best for you. It wasn’t like they were unconcerned. And anyways, they did have a point, didn’t they? Nail polish smelled horrible, but you soldiered through it to apply it on anyways. Maybe someday, you’ll get good enough at nail polish, so that when you see your nails, you would not feel the need to chew them.

You eat breakfast, and when you do you don’t drink coffee. Who really needs sustenance like that? All you really needed in life was the energy which God provides you with. Every day, you can just sleep your planned eight hours, no problem. God provides you with the discipline to stick to your daily schedule. This was no problem. Nothing was impossible for God.

Hail a cab to Church. Quickly, you made it. Everyone there is smiling, dressed in their Sunday best.

The men looked handsome and dashing in their suits and ties. The women looked beautiful and charming in their modest skirts and dresses. Everyone grins at you when you arrive. You talk about current events. Your families and your jobs; their children, nephews, nieces; sports; the weather; any gossip about other members of the congregation. All very engaging topics which you never used to be particularly interested in, but have found to be absolutely fascinating to talk about. The gossip especially, was a bad habit. But well, we all do fall short of the glory of God. He would surely forgive you.

You found it difficult to differentiate the people around you. You walked up to someone in an orange dress with shoulder length wavy hair, expecting it to be your friend Clara. Instead, it was Elizabeth. You walked up to a tall man with neatly gelled hair and a red tie, and you thought that he was Michael. But it was actually Joseph. It was a little embarrassing. But they were all good sports about it. That was something difficult you frequently had to deal with. Especially in Church. Navigating everyone, because for some odd reason you often had trouble differentiating the people around you.

Well, some people were easier to differentiate than others. Case in point...

In the corner, reading a book with a smiling dragon on the cover, sat a young girl in a baggy hoodie and a pair of ragged jeans. Her earphones were firmly plugged into her ears. She was listening to music. No one was talking to her, and she didn’t seem particularly bothered by that.

You could only sigh when you saw her. She had been like that for a long time. There had probably been a time when she was a cheerful, sociable child. But now all she did was hang back and keep to herself, which would not do at all. God had commanded us all to be a friend. So you figured you really ought to go over and talk to her. You think you remember her name - Rebecca, if you’re not wrong - so you head over to her, a wide, pearly white grin on your face.

“Hi, Rebecca,” you say. Your voice chipper and loud enough so that she may hear you over her music. It worked to get her attention. She looked up from her book, and pulled out her headphones. You smile. That’s at least some progress. She’s paying attention to the world around her now.

“Hi,” she said. She closes her book, but places a finger on the page where she left off. She shot you a fairly neutral expression. Neither a smile nor a frown could be seen on her face. Her lips were instead a perfectly straight line. Behind her glasses, her eyes just looked puzzled at why you were there.

You continued smiling. She smiled back, but only by slightly turning the corners of her mouth up. That was another step in the right direction! Smiling was good! Especially smiling in the house of God! Surely, no one had any real reason as to why that was supposed to be a bad thing. You slide beside her, sit next to her at the pew, and continue talking. “So, how have you been lately?”

“Okay,” she said. And then nothing else. Not a ‘how about you?’ or any other elaboration beyond that. That was upsetting. You remember a time back in your past when you were like that. But you soon learned the proper way to talk, hold a conversation. Thanks to all the people who taught you how to talk correctly. Soon, maybe Rebecca would catch on too.

You figured that, at least for now, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to Rebecca about something she was interested in. “What book are you reading?” You ask. It had a dragon on it, so it was probably a fantasy novel of some sort. Most likely a book she has owned for quite a while, since the spine was cracked and the pages were all dog-eared.

You were never all that into fantasy. When you were younger, you very much preferred science fiction. And though you frequently found yourself yearning at the new science fiction books on display at the bookstore, you knew you shouldn't get too caught up in reading them. Years ago, you used to stay up late reading all those books. Way past midnight. You wouldn’t even crack open your Bible. But now, you’ve made a commitment towards going to bed on time and reading your Bible every day. And though admittedly, some parts of your personal Bible study made you bored, or made you conjure up some terrible questions (no doubt just Satan attempting to make you question your faith), you keep pushing on. Those science fiction novels may be alluring, but they surely aren’t nearly as great as the treasures which would await you in Heaven.

Rebecca glanced at you, then showed you the back of the book. “It’s called ‘The Thief and The Knight’,” she said. Without any other comment.

You looked at the blurb at the back of the book, which read:

“What, no thank you? I went out of my way to help, you know, I didn’t have to.”

“You almost got me arrested!”

“But you didn’t, so there shouldn’t be a problem. Ungrateful!”

Tenia is a knight in training. Serious, clever, and an overall teacher’s pet, all the people in her life certainly had high hopes for her and her future.

Kavlin is a mischievous young thief. With nothing but the clothes on his back and his trusty dragon, Gason, he lives every day barely getting by, stealing whatever he needs to live.

The two of them couldn’t have lived lives more different. But one day, when their paths met in a market, they soon found their fates entangled permanently. Now Tenia needs to make a choice. Follow her head and continue her knight training, or follow her heart and walk a new path with Kavlin?

You sigh. This doesn’t sound like a particularly godly story. You recalled reading several similar stories like that when you were young, and it would always end with the obedient young woman leaving her neatly laid out life for some reckless, hedonistic man. That was definitely not how God intended for young women to live their lives.

But maybe there’s a twist in this story. “Hm, that sounds interesting. Does she go back to studying hard to become a knight?” You ask. Smiling in as kind a way as you could.

Rebecca shook her head, which was slightly disappointing for you. “She falls in love with him. They continue working together, she quits being a knight, and together they’re now thieves working to make the kingdom a much better, safer place for the poor.”

“But surely she could have done that while still being a knight? Without becoming a thief?” You ask. “The Bible says that we must use our gifts to help others in need. She could have done good for the poor using the gifts which made her such a promising knight, instead of going on to become a thief. There’s ways of helping others without disobeying the law.”

Rebecca looked at you, biting her lip. You hope that that’s a sign that she’s reconsidering reading something like that. God did say that we should be careful about what we read, and what we think about. If your words would convince her to stop reading something so immoral, that would only be a good thing.

She took her book back, and held it close to her chest. You shot yet another smile at her, hoping that she understood that you were only concerned about her and the state of her spirit. Hopefully, she will get there soon. You remember how hard it had been to forgo your sci-fi novels. Even to this day, you still kind of miss them. But you could live without them. You could live only on the word of God alone, without any other book. That was something you had to remind yourself almost every day. But it was worth it. It had to be worth it, to be God’s faithful servant.

“At least consider it,” you say. “I’m only concerned for your spiritual well-being, and I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong ideas from the wrong places.” Rebecca still stared at you, her face still seemed fairly expressionless. But maybe, with some prayers, she’ll have her heart and mind changed.

You thought that you heard someone call you, and so you turned back around. “I’m sorry Rebecca,” you say. “I think I’m needed elsewhere now. So I’m going to have to go.” Such a shame. You were hoping to chat with her for a bit longer. Now what she’ll do is slip her headphones back on and bury her nose back into that book of hers. You should know. That was what you used to do back when you were her age.

You tried to recall. Why did you used to do that? Socialising with others in Church was such a pleasant thing. You loved to go every week, and listen to them talk about all the minor life updates that they have. Their new houses and cars. Their children winning participation trophies. Surely, those things were always far more interesting that any book one could bury their nose in. You try and think back, why did you like to read and hide away so much from the world. But you could not dwell on that question any further, because soon you ended up swept away by the crowd. Your train of thought halted. And you got sucked, like a whirlpool, into a sea of identical pearly white smiles and modest dresses.

#friday night fights #fnf #tabby's writing #christianity tw #religion tw #female pov #2nd person pov #female second person pov #my writing

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