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#jamie's first adventure!!
pebblenessmonster · 16 days
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Feel like shit just want her back
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gallifreywhere · 4 months
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Ian: Come on, you.
The Master: This is undignified!
Ian: We're not leaving you in [the Doctor's TARDIS].
The Master: At least remove the hood.
Barbara: I suppose we are sufficiently deprogrammed... As long as we stay on our guard.
The Master: This world, again? No!
Barbara: It seems to be the same storage bay... But different- cleaner.
1st Doctor: Chesterton! Ms Wright!
Barbara: Doctor!
The Master: Oh, no... Put the hood back on. PLEASE!
(The First Doctor Adventures 1.1: The Destination Wars)
(A few minutes later...)
The Master escapes from the crate they locked him in, chuckling.
Dreyfus!Master: You weren't the only one to meet with Houdini, Doctor!
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thedoctorwhocompanion · 4 months
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The Doctor Who Appreciation Society's Celestial Toymaker and Adventure in Space and Time Event
The #DoctorWho Appreciation Society's Celestial Toymaker and Adventure in Space and Time Event
I was really upset and annoyed that I had to miss the previous screening of An Adventure in Space and Time and Episode 4 of The Celestial Toymaker (i.e. The Final Test), which was the last of the Doctor Who Appreciation Society‘s screenings at Riverside in 2023. Set for the 24th November, it coincided with a train strike and so I couldn’t make it. But I was really pleased when DWAS announced that…
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tasteofyourblood · 2 years
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this is just a gender moodboard for my hair envy, i want overgrown gay hair
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flavia-draws · 2 years
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if i had a nickel for every time a prog power trio of drummer, guitarist, and bassist/vocalist released a first album in 1974, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
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renee-writer · 2 years
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Loved Her First Chapter 7 The Greatest Adventure
AO3
“What’s going on?” She demands. They both look like they had a shock. The doctor and mama in her fills with fear. What is wrong? Dropping her coat and medical bag, she hurries over to them.
“Mama, I found him. Daddy!” She takes the book from her sister’s slack hands and presses it into her mama’s . She looks down and turns as pale as her daughters.
“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!” It is Jamie! Older, a bit grimy from prison but recognizable as her husband. Her eyes drop to the notation. “Home to Lallybroch!” she whispers.
“Mama, is that man my real father?” She shakes of her shock and looks up at her youngest.
“Yes.”
“He was in prison in 1750. How?”
“It is a long story. Come darling and I will explain.” They all find seats. Bree looks at her with her daddy’s eyes. She pulls in a breath and starts. “It started right after the war when Frank and I went to Scotland for a second honeymoon… He insisted I go through. He knew what awaited after Colluden. He knew you were on the way and he wanted to protect us. I thought he died there until… So now I know he is probably alive and living in Lallybroch.”
Bree shakes her head, as if to clear it. “That is incredible mama.”
“Do you believe me?”
She bites at her lip, her finger beating time on her thigh. So like Jamie she is! After a minute she nods. “I have to. He is me. He is Faith. It explains a lot. Where we got this red hair from. Where Faith got her height. The question is mama, what now?”
That is the question. She knows where he is and that he lives! He lives! What does she do with that information? When she came back through, she assumed him dead and resigned herself to make a life her with their children. Now? “I don’t know.”
“Fergus and Marsali are coming to visit.” Jamie reads from the letter her holds, “He says they have news.”
Jenny smiles. “I imagine it is to tell you are to be a grandsire.” She wisely says.
“A grandsire! I am far to young.”
His sister chuckles. “When you adopt a ten year old at twenty-five, this is what you get. I worry most for Marsali’. She is but fifteen.”
Once again, he thinks of how it would be different if Claire were here. She would know how to see to Marsali. If he would have known… no! No matter what, the children and she are safe. That is all that matters. Faith will be a grown woman of eighteen. His son or daughter will be around fifteen, like Marsali! It gives him a shock. Was he already a grandsire?
“I miss them too.” He isn’t surprised that Jenny can read his face. He gives her a sad smile.
“I will go see that the croft be ready for them.”
“What do you mean, ' what now?’ Bree asks.
“Our daddy is Mama’s true husband.”
The younger girl frowns. “I know it wasn’t really good with daddy, err Frank but, you did love him mama, right?”
Claire ponders how to answer that. She deserves answers. It is hard to focus on anything outside of the reality that Jamie lives. “Bree, I did. But, not as a wife should love a husband,” how honest to be, “After your birth, we decided to have an open marriage. He found his distractions and I had a father for you girls, as Jamie wanted.”
Bree shakes her head. “I, we didn’t know. Why did you stay married?”
“It was as Frank wanted it. He feared I would take you away.”
Faith snorts and Claire sees Jamie in her so much that it takes her breath. “Why would that matter? He didn’t care for us.”
“Faith!”
“It is simply the truth Bree.”
“Girls, he did the best he could. I didn’t help. By insisting that you both have the name Fraser, I kept the fact that you weren’t his in the forefront.”
“We are, aren’t we. I remember him, his loving eyes and soft touch. I remember Fergus, our brother,” to Bree, “I remember his dark eyes lighting up when he looked at me. They are ours and we are theirs. Father Frank was our stepfather, not our father.”
“Fergus?”
“He is a French orphan Jamie and I adopted.”
“I miss them mama. “
“As do I Faith, so much.”
“We can go back.” The room is suddenly full of an expectant silence. “We can! I can travel and so can Bree, right?”
“Yes it is just…You would be given up everything you know.”
“I know them mama. There has always been a piece missing, an incomplete picture. Jamie, daddy is it. We are supposed to be family.”
Tears fall as she turns to Bree, “Darling, what do you think?”
“It’s an adventure, the biggest one. I think even bigger then landing on the moon. I would like to meet the man who fathered me, this other members of my family. I say, let’s go.”
She gathers her children to her and they tightly hug. The biggest adventure ever needs planning. Right now though, it is enough to hold them knowing soon their daddy would be doing the same.
“Papa, Auntie Jenny, Uncle Ian, we’ve news.” He stands nervously, his hands clasped in front of him. His bride is at his side.
“Aye mo mhac?”
He sees his son swallow. “We are to be parents.” Marsali glows beside him, her cheeks pale and her head down. That is until Jamie pulls her into a hug.
“Congratulations mo nighean.” She smiles shyly up.
“Thank you.”
“Such wonderful news!” Jenny hugs them both.
“Aye tis’.” Ian adds, slapping Fergus on the back and giving Marsali a hug.
“We shall celebrate.” Jamie announces, putting his arms around them and walking them into the great room, “First with a toast.” Recalling what Claire said, and how excited she would be!, he pours Marsali juice instead of whisky, “To my coming grandchild and my son and daughter. Slàinte!”
Thinking of all that she would have liked to have with her, when she went through the first time, the planning is meticulous. Penicillin, syringes, vaccines, that is the medical items. She also will bring a lot more training and knowledge. The girls and her hit up every rare coin shop they can find, turning their pounds into pounds, shillings and, pence.
“We will need the proper dresses and under clothes.” Faith laughs.
“I don’t think we can just walk into a store and buy stays and 1700 dresses.”
“No, but I might be able to make some.” Bree has a fair sewing hand. “If I had the proper idea of what they require.”
Claire sat down and, with Faith’s ability to draw, inherited from her granny Ellen, they designed patterns. Fabric was bought and she began. As she sees, her mama has a talk with Joe and Gail.
“So, you are going back.” Joe exams her with his gentle brown eyes.
“I must Joe. He is my whole heart. He and the girls. They want to know him. He deserves a chance to know them.”
“Undoubtedly. You are doing the right thing Lady Jane. I love to see you glow like that. It is just we will miss you.”
“The girls are like our own.” Gail adds.
“We will miss you too.” This is the hard part, saying goodbye to friends, to the modern way of life. Jamie! His name, seeing him in all her thoughts, that is what keeps her going.
They are soon ready. Claire transferred ownership of the house to Joe. ��Sell it, rent it out, whatever you wish to do.”
“Are you sure?”
She hugs him close. “There is no one else Joe.”
“I shall sell it and start a scholarship for female medical students. In your honor.”
She cried again. She has been crying all week as she grieves the life she is leaving behind. “Thank you Joe.”
They drive to the Standing Stones in a rental car. She knows it will be found and returned. They exit in their 1700 clothes. Bree has done an excellent job and they look the part. Little hidden pockets hold the medicine she brings, the coins and, pictures of the girls as babies and through their childhood.
They climb the hill, holding each other’s hands. She had warned them, the best she could, about the trip through. Faith recalls some. “Loud, scary, the sound of bees.” She had told her sister.
“Recall, think about Jamie, about family and home. Keep tight hold on that, on me and, each other.” She reminds them as they approach the tallest stone. They hear the bees.
“Yes mama.”
“Ready?” They walk forward together, touch the stone and disappear.
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dim-sum-wolf · 2 years
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Vaxxed again >:3
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navybrat817 · 5 months
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The Dad Diaries: Welcome Home
Pairing: Dad!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky reflects on the first night with his son home and puts his thoughts to paper.
Word Count: Over 1.2k
Warnings: Fluff, reflecting, first time dad, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a dad, okay?).
A/N: Welcome to The Dad Diaries! This AU will focus on Bucky and his relationship with his son (and you!) ❤️ Thanks to the beautiful @whisperlullaby for giving this intro a look and assuring me it wasn't garbage, but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky stared intently at the open blank journal that sat in the middle of his office desk. He had picked up the pen a few minutes ago, but hadn’t written a single word. Why did he feel stuck? Better yet, what was he thinking by doing this? Reading often came easy to him, but writing? That was something else entirely.
It was also something he wanted to do.
He ran a hand over his face with a sigh and wondered if he should call it a night, crawl into bed with you, and try tomorrow. No, he didn’t want to push it off before he even began. Glancing at the monitor, he heard your voice in his head, a memory of something you told him in the early stages of dating:
The best writing comes from the heart. Write what you and your heart love because no one knows that story better than you.
Bucky had plenty of stories to tell. How he became a hero and a good man after years of pain and darkness. Or how he fell in love with you and became your husband.
And his newest adventure of becoming a father.
He wasn’t sure how to be a dad yet, but he knew he loved his son. That was more than enough to start. And with a smile tugging at his lips, he put the pen to paper.
Hey, Nugget,
My name is James Buchanan Barnes. Most people call me Bucky. Your mom calls me her husband and I’m the luckiest man in the world for that, especially since she gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for: you.
Your name is James, too. Your mom doesn't know if we’ll call you Jamie or JJ, but I have a feeling you'll hear a bit of both. And one day, I’ll get to hear you call me Dad. Or Dada or Daddy or Papa.
Whatever makes you happy.
He paused in his writing when he thought he heard something on the monitor. His eyes flickered to the screen again and he breathed a little easier when he saw that his baby was still sleeping soundly in the middle of the crib. It wouldn’t stop him from checking on him later, just to be on the safe side.
I’m so glad you’re home. In fact, tonight is your first night in the nursery. I hope you like it here. To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson: “A house is made with walls and beams: a home is built with love and dreams.”
Yeah, your old man likes to read. Maybe you will, too. I even have an original copy of The Hobbit and would love to give it to you when you're older.
Books lined the far wall of Bucky’s office, many of them worn from the amount of times he read them. He made sure Jamie’s room had a reading nook, too. It was one of the only things he asked for when the two of you designed the nursery.
I hope you get enough sleep tonight. Your mom, too. You both did great at the hospital and deserve all the rest you can get.
Would you believe me if I said I was a nervous wreck when I brought your mom in, but tried not to let it show? People call me strong, but I don’t think I ever witnessed true strength until I saw how steady of a rock she was. She blew me away, which didn't surprise me. She amazes me every day.
Hearing your first cry stopped my heart and brought tears of joy to my eyes. After nine months of waiting and talking to your mom’s stomach, you were finally here. And seeing her hold you made me fall in love all over again.
Sorry if that sounds sappy, but it’s true. She looked right at me with happy tears in her eyes and said, “Bucky, look! Look at what we made! It's our little Nugget!” and my heart swelled. She insisted on calling you that and it rubbed off on me. Believe me when I say that you are the luckiest baby in the world to have the mother that you do.
He stopped writing again to glance at his wedding band, smiling all over again. He thought your love filled his heart before, but it overflowed now. It warmed him like nothing else ever could.
You’re probably wondering why I’m writing this since a lot of time will pass by the time you read this. Sometimes I may write to remember things I’m afraid I’ll forget. Other days I’ll write to reflect and get the words out when my mind is too loud. But my hope is that this will be a gift to you.
A bond for the two of us.
As you grow, I’ll fill the pages with the memories of you and our family. I’ll tell you about my past and how it shaped me into the man I am today. How your mom and I met and how I somehow convinced her to fall in love with me. And I’ll be sure to tell you about the day she told me we were going to have you and how that news changed my life for the better.
He swallowed the lump in his throat before he continued.
I also plan to fill this with your milestones. Like your first smile. Is it selfish if I hope to see it first? If not me, your mom. She’d love that. Your first step. Being selfish again, but I hope it’s me you walk toward so I can pick you up and tell you how proud I am. And your first word. I hope it’s Mama.
Though I won’t object if you say Dada.
Bucky chuckled as he imagined the look of betrayal on your beautiful face if your son said “Dada” first instead of “Mama”.
I’m sure some days I’ll have more to say than others. If I’m lucky, I can pass on life lessons and words of wisdom. Some days though I may not say the right thing and I know I’ll stumble along the way as I figure out how to be the best dad to you. I say “best” and not “perfect” because perfection doesn’t exist. Except for you and your mom.
The beauty of it is that I don’t have to go it alone. I’ll have your mom by my side to help guide and protect you and to watch you flourish. And my hope is that you know as you look through the pages how much we love you.
Even on days I may not get it right, I’m your dad, you’re my son, and you’ll always have a home with me and a place in my heart.
I’ll write more when I can, Nugget. Until then, I love you.
Always,
Dad
Bucky set the pen down as he exhaled. It wasn't perfect, but it didn't have to be. It was a start. As long as he put his heart into his words, it would shine from the pages.
And he couldn't wait for all the adventures he’d have with his little Nugget.
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I hope you lovelies are excited to take this journey with Bucky. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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httpiastri · 5 months
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literally any driver: burying head in crook of neck, night kisses and shutting the other up with kisses
lacii my love <3<3 did this with lando, hope that's fine! merry christmas again, and i hope you enjoy this!! 😁
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"lando, did i tell you about that time when i first met my friend clara?" the words are flowing out of your mouth like you're spitting bars. your boyfriend doesn't even get a chance to answer your question before you've started talking again. "oh my god, it's a great story. you'll love it. so, i was in a french class when my other friend, sarah-"
lando is smiling subconsciously as you ramble on about your adventures, just as you have ever since he picked you up from the club. his fingers help you slip out of your heels – not that you even seem to understand what's going on, way too focused on speaking – before one of his hands lands on your waist. he takes a deep breath to keep his composure and hold back the laughter threatening to burst from his chest at your continuous gibberish, before he guides you to his bedroom with soft touches. he chuckles quietly at the way you almost take the wrong turn and end up in his kitchen, too engaged in your storytelling to remember the layout of his apartment. he isn't surprised, though, because;
alcohol always makes you blabber.
in most situations, you're not the most talkative, preferring to choose your moments to speak with great care. but when you start to get tipsy, it is like you are the world's greatest extrovert. even after getting just a little alcohol in your system, you talk to anyone with ears, somehow assuming that they're really interested in whatever you're ranting about.
thankfully, if you have your friends around, they usually drag you away by your arm, apologizing to the poor stranger to whom you've over-explained the storyline of your favorite movie.
lando learned about this side effect of your drinking early on in your relationship. on your third date, after sharing a few drinks at a local bar, you wouldn't shut up for half an hour, not giving him a second to interject with anything. he'd been surprised, but mostly confused, until he got your text message the following morning: oh my god, i did it... didn't i?
he'd tried to pretend he didn't know what you meant, wanting to put it all behind you, but you'd persisted. i didn't shut up. i never do when i drink. i'm sorry :(
lando was always one to be quick to forgive and forget, not wanting you to feel too bad. everyone does some questionable things when drunk, and he'd seen tons of people act worse than you did. but after that date, there would be uncountably many more occasions of you not being able to hold back when booze was in the picture. award shows, drinking games at home with friends, podium celebrations. once, he even found you outside a club after a race, sitting on the curb with one of your hands petting a stray dog as your other helped you explain the meaning of life. safe to say, he is used to your habits by now.
so tonight, when he picked you up from your night out with a few of your friends, he wasn't surprised that your mouth didn't shut once during the trip back to his apartment. you were excitedly telling him about the people you'd met and the drinks you'd had, so eager to explain every detail to your boyfriend when you were getting into the car that you forgot about everything around you and he had to lean across the console to put on your seatbelt for you.
most of the time, he finds your habit endearing. but sometimes, like right now, it gets just a little tiresome.
"and then, when jamie came around, she was like, what are you doing?, and i was like, i'm just having some fun!"
you're both sitting on the edge of his bed by now, after lando's helped you change into something more comfortable for the night, your mouth still running like you're one of the gilmore girls. you don't even flinch when his hands reach for your cheeks and he stares intently in your eyes – but he can't do anything other than smile.
lando loves your voice. he loves it when you're whispering something in his ear when you're out with friends, when you're ranting to him about some stupid coworker, and maybe especially when you're moaning and whining his name.
but now, he reckons you've talked enough for today. your vocal cords must be sore, and his ears are about to fall off, so it's time to call it a night – and he only sees one way to shut you up.
mid-sentence, lando leans in, pressing his lips to yours. he swallows the yelp you let out in surprise, one of his hands gliding to the back of your neck to keep you close. it doesn't take long for you to relax into the kiss, your lips moving with his while your hands reach for the neckline of his hoodie.
it's so easy to get lost in kissing lando. when he parts the kiss, you find yourself wanting to seal your lips again, already missing the feeling. your mind is now completely blank; all you can think of is the kiss. the man beside you laughs at your hazy expression, utterly amused by how you're suddenly quiet for more than five seconds (something he's sure hasn't happened yet tonight).
when you slowly open your eyes, the very content look on lando's face makes something click in your mind. he sudden kiss, his big grin...
"was i rambling again?"
the silence that follows gives you your answer, and you throw your head back as you let out a little groan. "hey, don't worry about it."
"i really didn't mean to. you know how it is, it just happens, and i don't really feel it as it happens, you know? it's just, the alcohol, it's not my intention. i actually told sarah today that-"
and for the second time, lando pulls you into him, quieting you down with his own lips. this time, as you (for the most part) understand what he's doing, you can't help but giggle into the kiss. your boyfriend matches your smile, taking your bottom lip between his teeth as a joking warning. he lets it flop back against your teeth as he pulls away to look at you again, but you've already lunged forward, head resting against his shoulder.
"i'm sorry," you start, nuzzling your nose into the crook of his neck. "i really am."
his arms snake around your waist before he leans back against the bed, pulling you down with him and into his side. "don't be," he answers, one of his hands reaching up to the back of your head, stroking your hair. "it's cute. you're cute." you continue hiding in his skin and he makes himself more comfortable in bed, pulling the blanket over you both. "we'll talk more tomorrow, okay?"
he feels you shake your head. "i'm done talking. i've talked enough. you know those tiktok videos where you only have a certain amount of words you're allowed to say every year? that's me. i've run out of words, i used them all today."
"oh yeah, i can tell," lando chuckles, pressing his lips to the top of your head. "close your eyes, baby. tell me about those tiktok videos tomorrow."
"didn't you hear me? i said no more words. i won't talk tomorrow because-"
lando sighs. it's going to be a long night.
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eugeniedanglars · 1 year
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thinking about the himbos, still not having put together that colin’s “friend who helps him pick up women” who they met at sam’s restaurant is not in fact his friend who helps him pick up women, deciding that they should set colin up with someone as a way of showing their support. (“who here knows any single gay guys?” jamie polls the locker room. everyone raises their hands. sam clarifies, “besides colin.” all but a handful of people put their hands down.) they very proudly present this plan to colin, who tells them that first of all, if he’s ever desperate enough to accept a date with one of richard’s sketchy model friends they should just kill him instead, and second of all he doesn’t think his boyfriend would be very happy about this plan. i need to see this team of hopeless romantics being just as excited to realize that colin’s cool friend michael is actually his boyfriend as they were about sam’s bantr adventures or roy and keeley’s relationship
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Platonic dynamics I want to see more in the (tiny) Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons fandom:
Jack being like an older brother to Hiccup and sort of seeing an older version of Jamie in him and not scoffing at how nerdy he is ("holy crap you MADE this? Man show me how it works!!")
Rapunzel post-her-movie being all gung-ho and cheery, and Merida trying to get her to stop being so naïve, only for Rapunzel to calmly list all the ways she was betrayed and abused throughout her adventures (and you'd only have to go through the canon events of the movie and show to make this work, btw, girl's been through STUFF) and tells Merida she is upbeat and kind because she chooses to believe that most people are good, because so many people stuck with her through so much and so many people came back to her after betraying her. And Merida is like "well dang ok, wanna learn to shoot a bow"
Jack being calm, responsible, and protective of the others without becoming too angsty in the process- playing harmless little pranks to bring everyone's spirits up, that sort of thing
Merida being annoyed by Jack at first, but it's because she misses her brothers, not because she categorically dislikes the pranks. She tells Jack this and he asks her to join him doing pranks. She has much more fun after this.
Rapunzel is good at many things, but not so much inventing, as we see in TTS; her trying to assist Hiccup and him being good-natured about it but entirely accidentally outclassing her
Jack very deliberately keeping his past and loneliness to himself, and the others figuring out something's off because they never catch him sleeping, he's pensive when he's not interacting with them, he's got such wide and extensive experience, and he starts admitting bits and pieces like "I'm older than I look" etc etc
Jack never openly getting angry with the kids because they're kids and he's a Guardian, so instead when one of them is upset or trying to pick a fight with him, his staff will glow brighter or it'll get cloudier or windier or snowier- his magic responds, but Jack refuses to, making his calm all the more scary.
Jack being the first to realize Rapunzel has been through Stuff and sitting down with her when the other two are asleep "what happened to you?" entirely gently and patiently because HE'S A GOOD BIG BROTHER DANGIT I WANT THIS SIDE OF HIM TO SHOW MORE-
Hiccup worrying/getting upset/doing that I Have To Stand Alone thing and Rapunzel approaching him like "you're not the only one who grew up alone, you know. It's okay to rely on us, we won't let you down"
Hiccup doing the I Have To Stand Alone thing in general cause I don't see that a lot in crossovers or at least the arts
The others finding Jack in weird places because super-balance go brr
Jack being reluctant to touch any of the kids for any reason because he doesn't want to see the way they treat him change once they realize how cold and inhuman he really is
Merida recognizing Jack immediately as the only other obviously competent fighter by the way he moves (she was raised around all manner of warriors and guards, after all) and immediately setting about allying herself with him because Heaven knows they all need as much protection as they can get
Merida helping Hiccup to have a moment like he has in the HTTYD books where he realizes he's actually a really amazing swordfighter when he actually uses his dominant hand
Hiccup and Rapunzel asking Merida and Jack what siblings are like
Jack just treating them all like his little siblings
Jack and Merida gathering ingredients together and, depending on the region, Jack teaching Merida the safe local vegetation and herbs because he's been everywhere. Also, Jack teaching the others how to cook with local ingredients
Jack knowing a lot about herbal medicine and helping and teaching the others
After much internal deliberation, Jack choosing Hiccup to hold his staff while he takes care of two-handed tasks
Jack knowing how to style hair because of Mary, and he and Merida helping Rapunzel tame her hair
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aquilacalvitium · 2 months
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Don't think about James "Jamie" McCrimmon going back to 18th century Scotland, having forgotten all of his adventures with the Doctor after their first meeting
Don't think about Jamie running right back into the fray, not having time to wonder why he suddenly feels a big pit in his chest like he just lost something
Don't think about Jamie flinching at a silver shape in his peripheral vision, wondering why he suddenly has images of silver metal men flashing through his mind
Don't think about Jamie sitting around a fire with his friends one night sharing stories of folklore, a vivid image of fish-people painted in his mind as someone recounts a story of merfolk
Don't think about Jamie, never once a man afraid of spiders, noticing a small money spider crawling on his arm and swatting it away with new and unexplained terror
Don't think about Jamie staying up late to stargaze, wondering why the moon and stars are giving him a melancholy feeling he's never felt before
Don't think about Jamie hearing the scrape of metal against rock, his heart leaping as he almost remembers a strange, wheezing sound he's sure he's never heard before
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mndvx · 7 months
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DOCTOR WHO | TALES OF THE TARDIS
Welcome to the world where you can find every Doctor, every companion, and terrifyingly, hundreds of monsters that have appeared in Doctor Who. From the 1st November, The Whoniverse will become the official name, and dedicated home, for all shows within the orbit of Doctor Who which will live on BBC iPlayer.
With over 800 episodes of Doctor Who content already in the back catalogue, The Whoniverse will launch with a brand new logo, and every piece of Doctor Who content will carry a brand new ident, instantly bringing all the Doctor Who worlds together in one place and it will continuously expand.
The first exclusive content to land in the Whoniverse will be TALES OF THE TARDIS, a brand new six-part series that reunites beloved classic Doctor Who duos, as they board a very special TARDIS on a nostalgic voyage through space and time.
Reprising their roles as the Doctor and companions to go on a timey-wimey spin down memory lane in these unmissable adventures are; Maureen O’Brien as Vicki and Peter Purves as Steven, Frazer Hines as Jamie and Wendy Padbury as Zoe, Katy Manning as Jo and Daniel Anthony as Clyde, Peter Davison as the Fifth Doctor and Janet Fielding as Tegan, Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor and Nicola Bryant as Peri, and Sylvester McCoy as the Seventh Doctor and Sophie Aldred as Ace.
These Doctor Who legends step back into character to reflect on their adventures and in the process they discover something new, leaving viewers with a new insight into the story of each timeless pair.
Over six parts, each episode of TALES OF THE TARDIS features a different duo, with brand new scenes woven together with classic episodes to create a feature-length omnibus episode.
With new scenes written by Showrunner Russell T Davies, and previous Doctor Who writers Phil Ford and Pete McTighe, TALES OF THE TARDIS allows fans to rediscover the stories they love whilst inviting new viewers to explore the vast mythology of the Doctor.
Russell T Davies, Doctor Who Showrunner says:
“The word Whoniverse was invented by fans, so it’s time to give it official status. And TALES OF THE TARDIS is one of the greatest delights of my career - to see old Doctors and companions reunited, still fighting the good fight, is a perfect way to celebrate the Doctor’s 60th birthday!”
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burntlikethesun · 7 months
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The first exclusive content to land in the Whoniverse will be TALES OF THE TARDIS, a brand new six-part series that reunites beloved classic Doctor Who duos, as they board a very special TARDIS on a nostalgic voyage through space and time.
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Reprising their roles as the Doctor and companions to go on a timey-wimey spin down memory lane in these unmissable adventures are; Maureen O’Brien as Vicki and Peter Purves as Steven, Frazer Hines as Jamie and Wendy Padbury as Zoe, Katy Manning as Jo and Daniel Anthony as Clyde, Peter Davison as the Fifth Doctor and Janet Fielding as Tegan, Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor and Nicola Bryant as Peri, and Sylvester McCoy as the Seventh Doctor and Sophie Aldred as Ace.
Tumblr media
These Doctor Who legends step back into character to reflect on their adventures and in the process they discover something new, leaving viewers with a new insight into the story of each timeless pair.
Tumblr media
Over six parts, each episode of TALES OF THE TARDIS features a different duo, with brand new scenes woven together with classic episodes to create a feature-length omnibus episode
Tumblr media
With new scenes written by Showrunner Russell T Davies, and previous Doctor Who writers Phil Ford and Pete McTighe, TALES OF THE TARDIS allows fans to rediscover the stories they love whilst inviting new viewers to explore the vast mythology of the Doctor.
Tumblr media
Russell T Davies, Doctor Who Showrunner says:
“The word Whoniverse was invented by fans, so it’s time to give it official status. And TALES OF THE TARDIS is one of the greatest delights of my career - to see old Doctors and companions reunited, still fighting the good fight, is a perfect way to celebrate the Doctor’s 60th birthday!”
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hart269 · 2 months
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Slithering Hearts
Chapter 1
Pairing : Regulus Black x Fem! Reader
Synopsis : You begin an unlikely friendship with the little Black. And soon your whole life seems to have become a tumultuous pathway. The catch, James Potter is your brother.
Masterlist / Series Masterlist
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You never know how much you're gonna miss a person until they are going away, even for a small period of time. Less to say you were feelling a little bummed watching your dear brother James standing in the platform waiting for the Hogwarts train. It was gonna be his first year, and even though you were gonna join him next year, it still didn't change the fact that he was going away, that too for a year.
While he busy getting being fussed over by mum and dad, you glanced up at the sound of the train coming. James turned excitedly, hugging mom and dad, before he could fully turn to you, you jumped on him cluthching him, "Aww, little zouwu, are you going to miss me"
"No", came your muffled sound, James patted your back, "I know I am special but don't cry over me now". He grinned at your glare.
"I'm not crying" you huffed.
"Whatever you say" James smirked.
"Write me letters" you mumbled.
"I will" He smiled, he probably will, if he didn't you had plans to *ahem* renovate his room.
And thus he walked towards the train, you looked around the station to see similar scenarios, your eyes met another kid's, your age probably considering he was still with his parents, his mom seemed to be scolding the older brother probably who looked physically pained to stand there. You waved at the boy, causing him to stare confusingly. That's when the train signalled, causing the older one to run towards the train. And soon you saw the train took off while clinging onto your dad's hand. "Let's go now", your mum muttered. As you turned to leave, you once again turned towards the boy you saw, just to find him already looking at you.
After that the whole year went in a blur, you learned about James's new adventures every week from his letters, there were ramblings of the new friends he had made, the annoying and the good teachers, journeys to hagrid's hut, about pranks that even your parents didn't know of and of the many adventures he had. All that only went into details when he came back for christmas and summer break.
The whole of summer break you pestered James to tell you everything you should know. You sat on the couch, legs resting on his stomach as he remain sprawled on the couch.
"Jamie, what house do you think I'll go to?"
"Hufflepuff, obviously" James smirked.
"What, why" you huffed, crosing your arms.
"I mean, you're not smart, not brave, not ambitious and that leaves you in- James voice craclked as his face was hit by the force of the couch pillow. He removed it, getting up staring at you with a malicious glint, causing you to run yelling "Dad, help me, James is hitting me"
"I didn't even -she did it first"
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The Diagon alley was always a wonderful place to be, they always had some new and exciting things, you got your wand, a sleek yew wood with white river monster spine at its core.
Mr.Ollivander had glanced at her strangely, "Treat it poorly and you won't access its power, treat it right, it will be loyal to no other". You had nodded, deciding later to brew upon it. For the most part, you were happy to get your own, cause when James got it last year, he didn't even let you touch his, no matter how much you begged him.
You were currently left by your parents at the pet shop, you were searching for a good owl, when a small hustle caught your eye, a snow great horned owl, fighting with another brown one. As you came close, he stood up and stood in the front, fluffing his feathers as if it had done no wrong, cute, you thought.
Taking the owl in your hand, you had turned swiftly, almost colliding with the boy who was standing behind you, the owl screeched, catching him, you exclaimed a loud "Merlin". Staring wide eyed at him you seem to find his face quite familiar, but you couldn't pinpoint, why. Regulus hadn't meant to stand there but he too had found the owl's commotioninteresting. And before he could move, you collided into him, he kept looking at you before realizing he was blocking the way, "Oh, sorry" he muttered moved sideways, You smiled moving past him.
He stared back at the owl on the rack, he lifted his finger, the barn owl moved towards him, nuzlzling in his fingers, he smiled "She's sweet', taking the owl to the counter, he again glaced at the same girl, the shopowner smiled, "Oh, the lovebirds", Regulus head snapped towards the cashier, "What". The shopowner chuckled, "I meant the owls, they are quite in love with each other". You glanced at her curiously "But they were fighting". The shopkeeper smiled looking at them, "Oh, they haven't realised it yet".
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Author's Note : The writer means no Hufflepuff slander, it is meant to taken as just a jest. The writer fully supports Hufflepufs like the other houses.
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discokicks · 10 months
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BAD IDEAS (ON THE SAME PAGE) — JAMIE TARTT
a fic inspired by bad idea right by olivia rodrigo!
masterlist! song inspo! AO3!
pairing: jamie tartt x fem!reader (no use of y/n!)
summary: football star jamie tartt is an asshole. he’s the one ex of yours that your friends always hated, one that you now all joke about, and one you haven’t spoken to in four years. however, after a chance encounter, the two of you reconnect, and he leaves you with his new number and a hundred questions about his reformed personality. but seeing him tonight would be a bad idea, right?
word count & rating: 11k (wowza), M! (18+! minors get away or i’ll narc on you to your guardians)
warnings: SMUUUUUUT, porn with plot, lots of suggestive language, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, sprinkling of a handjob, unprotected p in v (wrap it up kids), angst, mentions of alcohol, probable secondhand embarrassment, exes reuniting (it needs a warning sometimes), jamie tartt was an asshole and is now just a prick (in the best way possible), reader is a physio, major fluff, and swearing. also reader is american (bc the author is too. sorry </3)
authors note: well. i wrote it. olivia wrote this song for teenage girls in their twenties (me) only and i immediately thought of this fic the second i heard it. i'm calling this an exercise in smut writing before i embark on my aces (my roy kent series for my new friends) eventual-smut-adventure, so this evolved into something i wasn’t expecting but i had so much fucking fun writing it. god, i love jamie tartt. also! this is my first smut fic at this type of level, so go easy on me. hope you all enjoy. love you all tons! -mags
There are two universal truths in life. 
The first is that the coffee shop you frequent on your way to work will and will always have the best cold brew you’ve ever tasted. The second is that Jamie Tartt will and will always be a massive fucking prick, and you’ll never see him again for as long as you live.
These are two things you live by, and while they may seem rather mundane or petty in the grand scheme of things, they are the only truths you can count on these days. Especially when everything else is so up in the air.
However, the universe doesn’t seem to believe in these things as blindly as you do, and this becomes evident the moment that you step into the shop on a gloomy Wednesday morning. Because these two truths (well, they’re fucking bald-faced lies now aren’t they, huh?) are broken within approximately two minutes of each other with seven words.
It began when you greeted Natalia, the barista who was here every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday before your shift at the clinic with a wide smile. As soon as she saw your face, her expression turned apologetic, albeit a bit dazed.
“You’re gonna hate me,” she says, putting her hands on either side of the register. Your brows shot up at her words. “We just ran out of cold brew.”
Your face falls. “You’re kidding.”
“We were low on it this morning,” she starts to explain, “our stupid night-shifters didn’t prep enough last night. And it’s been selling like crazy today.”
“Seriously?” you nearly whine. “I might cry.”
“I’m sorry, Doc,” she apologizes, but she doesn’t sound too apologetic. Natalia’s eyes keep shifting to your left, the dazed look in her eye never faltering. Then, she says the fated seven words. “But he took the last of it.”
You turn your head in the direction she’s been looking, and your blood runs completely cold. You think you could drop dead and go to hell at this very moment, and it’d be a better existence than what awaits you in the next five minutes. And while this all may sound dramatic, you don’t care. 
You don’t care because Jamie fucking Tartt is standing across from you, newly long hair peeking out from beneath his hood. He’s engrossed in whatever’s on his phone, fingers flying back and forth like he’s texting. 
You think you could run. You’re pretty sure you could successfully make a break for it and leave Natalia high and dry without him seeing you. It’d be an easy exit, and you’d never have to see him again.
But then, as if he can feel your eyes on him, he looks up. And the second he meets your gaze, his face falls in what you can imagine was a similar fashion to yours. 
Fuck.
Luckily, Natalia is none the wiser. She barely notices your expression, and with Jamie by the pick-up area, she can’t see the way he’s looking at you. So, instead of questioning you, she straight-up giggles.
“I know,” she practically squeals. “I was totally going to save you the last of it, but he asked for it. And I mean, c’mon. It’s Jamie Tartt. I couldn’t possibly say no to him.”
You tragically know that feeling all too well. Knowing you probably would have had a snappier, more cutting response to that if you weren’t in the most debilitating phase of shock, you settle for a quiet, “It’s okay.” You nod at her, brushing it off in an attempt to be casual. “I can settle for an espresso today.”
Natalia nods, tapping it into her register. “Same size as usual?”
“Yeah,” you say, not completely sure what you’re agreeing to. You glance over again at Jamie and find that he’s still standing there, staring at you, and you immediately blink away. “That’s fine.”
The rest of the transaction feels as though it takes a millennium and three seconds all at once. You’re still caught off guard by the time Natalia gives you your receipt with a dazed look in your eye that now matches hers. 
However, yours isn’t because you just saw your favorite Richmond player or your favorite reality show villain. It’s because you’ve just seen your ex-boyfriend and you’re about to walk over and stand next to him for a prolonged period of time.
Nothing about this scenario feels real. You hadn’t seen him in four years. Not since things ended as ugly as they had, with him leaving you sobbing outside of a club at three in the morning, letting you know that things were over between you two. And he hadn’t even given you a reason. It was just that he wasn’t ‘feeling’ it anymore.
You saw in a tabloid about three months later that he was now seeing Keeley Jones (yeah, having to compete with that did not sit well with you at all) and had drawn your assumptions from there. Whether or not he’d been seeing her behind your back or had broken up with you to be with her, you didn’t know. You didn’t care. You were in your anger stage of the break-up and only knew one thing.
Jamie Tartt was a massive fucking prick, and you’d sooner walk on a bed of nails before you saw him again.
But now here he was. And there were no nails to be found.
You avoid eye contact as you pass him to wait for your coffee. There’s a piece of you that wants to say hi and play it cool, just to put on a show for him about how unaffected you were by everything that had happened. The other piece of you hopes that not a word is said for your entire time here.
Unfortunately, neither of those happen.
Jamie slides over to be near you, awkwardly rocking back and forth on his heels. His hands are stuffed in his sweatshirt pocket, and you wait for him to say something. Anything. But he doesn’t.
Instead, you can feel the ‘play it cool’ part of you rise up to the surface. You could do this. You could feign indifference. Fuck him, you could be cool.
You glance over at him and see that he’s pressing his lips together, eyes shifting around the coffee shop. It’s crazy how familiar you still are with his tells to know he’s desperately looking for a way to say something. 
You say it for him. “Hi,” you say simply. Cool and unaffected.
It’s as if the one word alone makes him flinch. He clearly wasn’t expecting you to say anything. “Hi—” He clears his throat after his greeting comes out cracked, and he stuffs his hands further in his pockets. “Hey.”
The awkwardness of this moment is killing you, and it’s taking everything in you to pretend like it's not. As you search for something else to say, you land on, “You took my cold brew.”
You can see his brows shoot up out of the corner of your eye. “Oh, fuck, did I?” 
You nod slowly. “Yeah,” you tell him. “I come in here every morning. Friends with the barista. Said she was going to save me the last of it, but…” You trail off and finally look at him. “She couldn’t say no to Jamie Tartt, apparently.”
You want to jump up and down about how well you’re doing right now. Maybe you are over him. Maybe you’ve finally moved past this shit, and seeing him once more is all you needed to solidify that. Maybe—
The second he chuckles softly with an apologetic smile, your confidence in those things shoots down. “I’m sorry,” he says.
“Since when do you drink cold brew, anyway?” you ask, frustrated with the fact that he’s fucking laughing in front of you. “You were always a like, caramel macchiato or frappuccino asshole.”
The names make him laugh harder, shaking his head. “Don’t like those anymore,” he responds. “Sugar hurts me teeth. Tryin’ somethin’ new.”
“Yeah,” you mutter. “My fucking coffee.”
That chuckle continues with a shrug. “I’m sorry.” he says again. Then he pauses. “But it’s not like your name was on it, or anythin’.”
Your face draws blank, and immediately, Jamie can tell he’s made a misstep. And it’s not that you’re angry about the joke, it’s just the… everything. Him. The situation. Everything you can remember that you wonder if he bothers to remember too.
Before you can walk away, you feel his hand on your arm. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he repeats for a third time, turning you so that you’ll look at him. Your pissed-off expression meets his easy smile and it only fuels your anger more. “I was jokin’. I’m sorry I took your coffee. We can get ‘em to put your name on it if you want.”
“Whatever,” you mutter. It’s not the most mature thing you could have said, but frankly, you don’t care. You just want to get your consolation espresso and get the hell out of here. “What are you even doing over here anyway?”
You’re not sure why you ask it. You don’t know why you keep the conversation going. Jamie looks just as surprised as you are. “I moved over here a couple weeks ago,” he answers. “Got sick of the old place.”
“Can’t imagine why,” you reply. By the way that Jamie snorts, you know he recalls just how much you hated his apartment when you knew him. It screamed twenty-two-year-old AFC-money shithead and you would tease him about it constantly. “Was the empty beer bottle sculpture finally giving you mold poisoning?”
He chuckles again. “That came down shortly after we stopped talking.”
“Oh, so I was just lucky enough to see it in its final days?”
“Oi,” he says, pointing at you. “That thing was fuckin’ impressive and you know it.”
“Impressive in a dorm,” you shoot back. “Not a seven million pound flat.”
He bows his head in a guilty manner. “You remember that, huh?”
“Hard not to,” you answer. “You never stopped talking about it.”
He at least has the decency to wince at that one. “I know,” he says earnestly. It makes you look at him. He shrugs once more. “I wanted to impress ya.”
He did impress you. But not with things like that. He’d impress you when you watched him play, he’d impress you when he made you laugh, and he’d impress you on the rare occasion that he’d just be himself in front of you. Not some asshole footballer. Just him.
But you don’t say that. You say, “That wasn’t the way.”
“Yeah,” he chuckles mirthlessly. “Got that now.” He rocks back on his heels again, like he’s not sure if he should say whatever he wants to. “I was a proper fucking dick to you, wasn’t I?”
That almost makes you fall over. Did he just say that? Did he actually just admit that? Out loud, here, for everyone to hear? Accountability? Unprompted? From Jamie Tartt? 
You want to glance around to see if Rod Sterling’s going to emerge from the bathroom to narrate the next couple of minutes of your life, but are too shocked to do so. 
Your surprise must show in your eyes, because Jamie laughs to himself. “Yeah. Wild, innit?” He shakes his head. “On a bit of an apology tour this year. Trying to build back some bridges, or whatever.”
The nod you give him is slow, still reeling from all of this. “Right,” you say lamely. “Building bridges.”
“I’m serious,” he tells you and for a brief moment, you think he may just mean it. The sincerity in his eyes is clear. “I was terrible to you. And I’m sorry.”
Whatever you were expecting when you stepped into this coffee shop on this rainy Wednesday, it certainly wasn’t this. And you certainly weren’t expecting your first time reuniting with him to go this way— with him apologizing to you. The actual words ‘I’m sorry’ just left his mouth. 
You genuinely don’t know who this is. Because it’s certainly not the Jamie you knew.
You saw flashes of this guy. Quiet moments during your short-lived relationship, typically when it was just the two of you. It’s the type of guy you always knew he could be if he tried. The type of guy you pushed him to be. 
(Your friends always taunted you about having the ever-horrendous I-can-fix-him gene, and they never quite let go of it. But it’s not like it wasn’t true.)
Those flashes are why you held out for as long as you did. If it were anyone else, any other asshole who treated you the way he did, you would have dropped them in a second. But he wasn’t like that. Not always, at least.
It was terrible to think like that. You’d been in a low spot when you’d met him and had taken even lower when he left you. You’d recovered tenfold from that and now knew your worth. 
But as he stands in front of you, apologizing, genuinely apologizing, and looking at you like that, you start to question it.
No! the logical part of your brain practically screams. Don’t you fucking dare.
You’re keen to listen to that for the time being. It hardens you. And all you can do is nod at him again. “Well, uh—” Your voice comes out hoarse. You cough awkwardly. “Yeah. You were. Terrible to me. And, uh… thank you. For saying that.”
So much for playing it cool. You want to slam your head up against the wall but hold yourself back from doing so.
He nods at you, opening his mouth to say something else before he’s interrupted by one of the baristas calling your name. His cold brew’s sitting on the counter too, something the two of you clearly missed in the middle of your conversation.
When you reach for your drink, he grabs his too. He’s still staring at you, biting the inside of his cheek like he wants to say something. When you go to move around him, he stops you.
“Look, I just—” You look up at him expectantly, and his shoulders deflate. “I know you probably want nothin' to do with me. But, I just… I want to talk to you.”
Your espresso is hot in your hands. “Well, that sounds like a you problem.”
That’s when he says your name. Your actual name. Not the nickname that everyone calls you, not a pet name that he used to use, he says your name. And it makes you stop in your tracks.
It’s so stupid. It’s so fucking dumb that your fucking name can send you back to the day you first met him and were completely taken with him. You hate it. And you hate the way it makes your walls come crumbling down.
“Please,” he begs. “Can we… Can I at least give you my number? It’s a new one, but I-I think I’ve still got yours. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to. But just so you can… I don’t know? Think about it?”
You wouldn’t know if he still had your number. You blocked him ages ago. But you doubt it. 
However, the more you think about it, the more you consider it. It’s the product of your resolve falling and well, everything else about him now. You think about it.
If you allowed him to give you his number, the ball would be in your court. You could do what you wanted with it. You could text him, you could tell him to fuck off, you could ignore him. It was up to you. 
And you don’t know if that’s worse or better.
You decide on better. The second you sigh, Jamie knows he’s got you. A wide grin breaks out on his face as you hand him your phone. “I’ll think about it,” you mutter. 
That’s good enough for him. He gives your phone back to you, new number inserted and new contact created. You’re glad he didn’t search for his old one. That one just says ASSHOLE in big capital letters with about a million gun emojis. 
(That was done by your previous roommates in an effort to get you to move on from him. You thought it was a bit overdramatic. You were never one for emojis.)
He’s smiling when he holds his coffee out for you. You stare at him blankly, thinking he’s attempting to cheers you. Instead, he shakes his head and says, “Take it.”
You blink at him. “What?”
“Trade with me,” he clarifies and your expression turns to one of shock. “C’mon. You said it’s yours anyway, right?” When you don’t move he rolls his eyes. “Offer’s only good for another second. Me arm’s getting tired.”
At that, you sigh rather dramatically and grumble to yourself, trying not to act pleased by the gesture. You hand him your coffee and he gives you his. “Thanks,” you say. It was kind of him. 
His grin returns and he nods at you. “Alright,” he says. After a slightly awkward beat, he steps back from you. “It was good to see you, Doc. Really.” You’re taken back by how genuine his voice sounds and say nothing in return. “I’ll talk to you later?”
He says it as a question, hopeful and well-meaning. “Yeah,” you tell him noncommittally. “Maybe.”
That too, is good enough for him. Because he sends you one more smile, then walks out of the coffee shop with your espresso in hand. 
You’re still reeling from the interaction when you glance down at his your cold brew and see Natalia’s handwriting. She’s made it just as you like it, down to the milk and everything.
But below it is a small drawing. It’s a tiny shark fin with a #9 written inside, with little lettering circling around it.
Doo-doo-do-doo-do-do-doo.
You’re fucked.
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“Are you out of your fucking mind?” is the question that your best friend and former roommate Leah screams at you over drinks at a busy rooftop bar. So busy, in fact, that barely anyone looks over at the two of you.
You’d made the mistake of telling Leah that not only had you run into Jamie on Wednesday, but you’d let him give you his number. 
And you’d texted him after hours of deliberation.
It was something innocent, something you’d thought way too much about, but innocent still. You weren’t sure if you were ready to actually talk to him, but there was something about texting him that wasn’t so scary. Your guard was clearly still up, evident by how dry you were in your messages, and you were keeping your distance. You never texted back too quickly, didn’t ask many questions, and often left him on read. 
(Yeah, you’d turned your read receipts on for him. What about it?)
Your first text was a simple enough question, something that you’d been genuinely wondering about since you saw him. It was open enough for a conversation but not too forward. how’d you know my coffee order?
His response came in minutes later. Is that yours? Good taste. It was shortly followed up with, That espresso you drink was fucking disgusting though.
And that was that. That was how you started texting your ex again. That’s how you reconnected yourself with Jamie Tartt. That’s how you knew it was over for you.
And that’s how you’re pretty sure you’re about to kill your best friend.
Leah’s eyes were wild, somehow angry yet still disbelieving yet intrigued. But the intrigue was very minimal. Very minimal. It was hidden well by how pissed off she was at you.
She had every right to be pissed at you. She was the one who always warned you about him. She’d straight-up nursed you back to health when you broke up. She was the one who had to hear about him 24 hours a day until you were finally over him.
Leah had had a year of peace. And now you were killing her for good.
“You’re kidding, right?” she follows up with. Her grip on your arm is tight. “Please tell me your kidding.”
“Leah…” Your voice is weak.
It tells her everything she needs to know. “Oh, my God! Oh, my. God.” She puts her face in her hands. “You’re insane. You’re fucking losing it and we need to have you checked out right now.”
“I’m completely sentient and in control of my own body.”
“Are you sure?”
You sip at your cocktail. “I reset a knee today. I’m pretty sure.”
“I think you might need to reconsider,” she says. “Because you just told me that not only are you talking to Jamie Tartt again, but you were the one who instigated it!”
You deserve this verbal beatdown and you know it. But all you can do is shrug. “Technically, he gave me his number. He’s the one who instigated it.”
“I’m gonna throw my fucking drink in your face,” Leah threatens, gripping her glass in warning. 
You roll your eyes at her. “Nothing’s gonna happen,” you say, even though you know you’re probably lying. Leah knows this too. “We’ve just been texting a little. It’s nothing serious.”
“Yeah, sure,” she deadpans. “Right. And even if I did believe you, what happens if it does? What happens if you get back in your weird, scary Jamie phase and he kills you again? I can’t deal with that.”
“That’s not going to happen,” you assure her, and this time it’s more confident. Because you know you won’t. Not this time. Not if anything happens.
You’d met Jamie when you were twenty-two. You were in your first year of your Masters program, slightly lost as in your move to London to finish your journey to become a physical therapist. Or a physio, as they called it here. Whatever. You couldn’t keep up with the names. 
You were shadowing a physio at the clinic you now worked at, assisting him as a part of your internship at one of the football tournaments the clinic worked at. It was a ton of big-wig footballers, some names you recognized, others you didn’t. But it didn’t matter. They were precious fucking cargo and you were so paranoid about screwing up that you barely registered who they were when you worked on them.
That was, until a twenty-two-year-old Jamie Tartt sprained his ankle and plopped himself down on your doctor’s bench. He looked at you, you assisted him, and you were wrapped up in what you were doing that you didn’t even notice he was flirting with you. 
You didn’t realize until he asked you out. And the rest was history, for better or for worse.
You were surprised he went for you. You knew who Jamie was, what type of girls he liked to be seen with. They were singers and models and actresses. They weren’t you. 
(Perhaps that’s one of the reasons you liked him so much. Because he chose you. You didn’t like to think about that phase of your life.) 
But after six months of seeing him, he ended things out of nowhere. Right when you’d settled on the idea that despite it all, you might be in love with him. And that was that.
You hadn’t seen him since. Not until this week.
“Not gonna happen my ass,” Leah scoffs, bringing you back into the conversation at hand.
A sigh of frustration leaves your lips. “Listen, I know it’s a bad idea;” you tell her. “I know it is. But, I don’t know. There was something different about him, Leah. He was just… like not someone I recognized.”
“Maybe because his hair is fucking long and stupid now.” She brings her glass to her lips. “His highlights look horrendous.”
“I actually like his hair like this,” you admit, earning yet another eye roll. “Listen. I’m not saying he’s changed. He probably hasn’t. But I…” You trail off with a shrug. “I don’t know. What if he has?”
Leah’s looking at you like you’re the dumbest person she’s ever met in her life. “Are you hearing yourself right now?” she asks incredulously. “Babe, he was a prick to you. Like, category-five, prestige-level twat. Like, worst boyfriend you’ve ever had.”
“I know,” you repeat. “And I said nothing’s going to happen. But if it does, and it goes south, I give you full permission to say I-told-you-so for the rest of my life, alright?”
Leah bites the inside of her cheek, shaking her head. “Whatever,” she says. After a moment, she glances over at you. “I’m just looking out for you, y’know. I don’t want to see you hurt again. And I definitely don’t want him to be the reason for that hurt again.”
You grab her hand. “I know,” you say once more. “And I love you for it. But if I’m gonna be stupid, I’m fully aware of when I’m gonna do it. And it’s gonna be my own fault.”
There’s a moment of silence between the two of you before Leah nods. “Okay,” she finally says. “Okay. Fine. Your fucking funeral.”
“I’ll let you give the eulogy and allow you to call me a dumb bitch for ten minutes straight.”
“Sold,” Leah says, pointing at you. That slight intrigue you previously saw in her eye returns. “Okay, now that I’ve yelled at you, you need to tell me everything.”
And so you do. You tell her how he took your coffee, how you nearly threw up the second you saw him, how you played it cool until you didn’t. How he apologized to you. Joked around with you. Apologized some more. And then he gave you his coffee. 
You despise how excited you sound about it. Again, you’re trying to play it cool, but the people that know you the best can always see right through you. You’re excited about it. Excited about him.
It’s a bad idea to be excited about him.
It’s a bad idea to look down at your phone after you and Leah order another drink. Your heart stops when you see he’s texted you. 
It’s a bad idea to open the message when Leah excuses herself to go to the bathroom. What are you up to tonight? 
It’s past midnight on a Saturday and he’s texting you. It’s still preseason for him, so he might be drunk, he may not be. You’re three drinks deep and aren’t sure if you are.
It’s a bad idea to respond to him. getting drinks with a friend. You keep it dry.
It’s a bad idea to not look down at your phone until you finish the drinks you ordered. Because now, you’re definitely drunk and looking at it all with new eyes. 
Would you want to hang out tonight? No pressure.
It’s a bad idea to consider it. 
But it’s a worse idea to agree.
text me your new address. i can be there by 1:30.
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Before you know what you’re doing, you’re knocking on Jamie’s door, intertwining your fingers together when you realize you’re shaking.
The second you do it, you regret it. You’re no longer feeling the effects of your drinks. It wore off on the Uber ride over here. And everything seems like a terrible idea now.
God, what were you doing? He treated you like that and the second you see him again, you go running back? He was an asshole. He’d made you question everything about yourself, he’d made you cry, he’d made you experience every fucking emotion in the book and all it took is one text for you to be back on his doorstep?
Your roommate was right. This was a horrendous idea and you were an idiot.
However, none of that matters. It doesn’t matter because Jamie Tartt’s opening his door and he’s got a stupid fucking smile on his face. And the second you see it, you know there’s no turning back.
“Hey,” he says as he opens the door. “You alright, love?”
You clench your jaw at the name, at his smile, about how casual he’s being, about everything. “Hey,” you say, avoiding his eyes to look around his flat. 
It’s a complete 180 from what he had when he first joined Richmond and what he had when you knew him. It’s a bit less mojo-dojo-casa-house-looking and something more mature. While you can still tell that a twenty-something guy definitely lives here, it’s decorated well, it’s put together, and it’s clean. No beer bottle sculptures in sight. He’s even got a fucking candle burning on his counter. Who the fuck is this and what did he do with the guy you knew?
Jamie follows you as you enter, wiping his hands on his sweatpants. “You find the place okay?”
His question snaps you out of your flat-induced haze. “Yeah,” you reply. You clear your throat. “This is nice.”
That same, stupid smile returns, but it looks a bit nervous. “Yeah. I told you it was a bit different, huh?” he chuckles. He walks toward his island, rounding it as he speaks. “Needed a fresh start or whatever. The old one was gettin’... old.” He watches you as you nod, continuing to look around. “You still in the same place with the same people?”
“Uh, no. Different place. No people,” you answer. You’ve stayed on your side of the counter, actively keeping your distance. “Willa moved to New York last year and Leah moved with her boyfriend. We live in the same building, though, which is nice.”
The small talk is fucking killing you. You’re not even sure if he cared to remember your previous roommates' names, so this all could be pointless. You can’t believe you’re here. You can’t believe you’re actually standing here, talking to him about the past. 
But as you finish speaking, he nods like he’s listening. Maybe he is listening. Maybe he does remember. 
“I’ll have to see that sometime,” he ends up saying, and the implication of it makes your head spin. He wants to see you again. Or he just learned small talk common courtesy. Whatever it is, it’s driving you insane. You have so many questions for him, so many things to say, and as he wipes his hands on his pants again and nods over to his kitchen, he asks, “Can I get you something to drink? I’ve got—”
“Why did you invite me here, Jamie?” The question comes spilling out of you, rushed as if it were waiting on the tip of your tongue and simply couldn’t stand to stay in any longer. Jamie stops in his tracks to blink at you. The look on his face encourages you to go on. “I mean, I know I texted you first. But why… why did you text me tonight? Why’d you—” You grimace, trying to find the right words. “Why’d you give me your number?”
He’s silent for a moment. Thinking. Evaluating. But his eyes haven’t left you. “Because I wanted you here,” he finally says. You cross your arms over your chest as he takes a step toward you. “Because I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I saw you.”
You want to say that you’ve been driven crazy all week because you feel same, but decide against it. Instead, you look away from him and scoff. “Right.”
“I’m serious,” he tells you, and your heart stops with every step he takes. “I felt like I was goin’ insane. I didn’t…” For a flash of a second, he looks shy. “I didn’t think I’d see you again. And I didn’t think you’d actually text me. I mean, I hoped you would, but…”
He’s right in front of you, but you still refuse to look at him. Your gaze has shifted to the floor. “I shouldn’t have,” you mutter.
The asshole has the nerve to chuckle, but it’s nervous. Your stomach churns. You’re not sure if you’ve ever heard him nervous. “No, you probably shouldn’t have,” he agrees. “I don’t deserve it.” He pauses and your throat starts to tighten. “I didn’t deserve you.”
That makes you look at him. Either he’s actually apologetic about everything, or he’s gotten really good at knowing everything you want to hear. “No. You didn’t.”
His fingers tentatively brush your arm and you allow him to take your hand. “I know,” he says. “I was a fucking prick. I get that now. I should never have… done that shit to ya.” You’re close enough to him now that if you moved an inch, his forehead would be up against yours. He brings your hand up to his mouth, pressing a feather-light kiss to the back of it. The action makes your throat tighten. “And I can’t fix it. But I…” He trails off again and looks you dead in the eye once he has the words. “I want to make it up to you.”
Your resolve is getting weaker and you hate yourself for it. You lean back against the counter, like that will put space between you two. “Jamie…”
“Please,” he whispers. His forehead finally meets yours. You can feel his breath on your lips. You don’t pull away. “Let me make it up to you.”
The last front you have standing weakly presents itself. “If you think,” you begin, breath shuddering as his hand meets your neck, “that one 2 AM hookup is going to make up for what you did, I—”
“I know it won’t,” he says, and it sounds like he does know. “But I want it to be a start.” The fingers on your neck are now tracing your jaw. And they tighten when he says, “Let me show you just how sorry I am, yeah? Let me make it fucking good for you.”
Jesus fucking Christ. That last front dissolves the second he says that, and your logic flips on itself. You came over here for a reason. You knew what this was. At least you got an overdue apology. Whether or not he meant it, is still up in the air, but if he’s promising things like that, then you might as well get something out of it.
You struggle to get a word out, so you nod against his hand. “O-Okay,” you finally stammer out. The way he’s looking at you gives you enough confidence to say, “Fine. Make it up to me.”
Jamie’s lips curl into a smirk and say, “As you wish,” before they’re on yours.
He’s softer than you remember. His lips aren’t chapped, he isn’t as aggressive with it, and he isn’t as rushed. Everything about him feels more mature and you struggle to understand how fast he could have changed in four years. But you’re not complaining. Not when he’s kissing you like this, with more practice and passion than you can ever recall.
His hand unlocks from yours to slide it up your sweatshirt, and it’s surprisingly warm against your back. Still, you shiver from the contact and you can feel him smirk once more against your lips. 
The action alone prompts you to fork a hand in his hair and tug at it slightly, reveling in the soft sound that escapes him. Everything about him comes back to you at once, and you’ve never been happier to know that the same things still get him. If he wants to play it like that, you can keep up.
His hands drop to grab your thighs and lift you onto the counter, breaking the kiss momentarily. Your chest is heaving up and down, lips swollen and wet. Jamie appears to be in the same boat. “Fuck,” he whispers, sounding even more out of breath than you. He dips his head to press a kiss to your neck, nose rubbing against it as he makes his way down. “You look fucking gorgeous, by the way. Meant to tell you that at the shop.”
You’re too caught up in it all to play it cool, especially as he works at that one spot on your neck. “You look— fuck, you look good too. The long hair suits you.”
You feel him grin against your neck. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you agree breathily. “Looked like a prick with the old cut.”
You feel his teeth dig into your skin at that one, and you hiss. “You liked that prick,” he reminds you.
You were in love with that prick, but you ignore that thought. “I liked a lot of things about him,” you respond. While it’s honest, the accidental double meaning of it isn’t lost on you.
It’s certainly not lost on Jamie. “Yeah?” he asks again. He lifts his head to look at you, hand creeping up your leg. “What’d you like?” You grip his arm as it rises beneath your sweatshirt once more. “C’mon love. Tell me what you want.”
You hate the way your breath hitches the second his fingers meet your back. You know what you want. You want to see what he’s learned since you last had him. What he’s like four years later. What’s changed, what’s stayed the same. But you’re too embarrassed and much too proud to ask.
Instead, you decide to say, much too shyly for your liking, “You know what I want.”
He hums in agreement, other hand creeping dangerously close to the inside of your thigh. “I do, don’t I?” he murmurs. “Bet I know everything ya want. But I wanna hear you say it.”
“Oh my, God,” you say under your breath, frustration creeping into your voice. The asshole fucking laughs at you. “I want you to make good on your promise. This seems far from it.”
“Right, right, I’m sorry,” he tells you. He doesn’t sound sorry at all. “Just making sure we’re still, y’know. On the same page.” He glances at you. “Right?”
You blink at him. You’re not sure you could have been clearer about what page you’re on. But that’s not what surprises you. What surprises you is the seriousness in his eyes. How he’s searching for assurance in yours. And you know that if, for whatever godly reason, you wanted to stop, he’d pull away immediately, despite how worked up he clearly is. 
It's the bare fucking minimum, but it's more than you’re used to getting.
So, you nod. “Yeah,” you say. “Definitely on the same page.” 
The grin he breaks out to is nothing short of breathtaking. “Good.”
“But—” you suddenly say, stopping him from leaning in once more. He freezes beneath your touch, brows furrowing. “This is… This is a one-time thing. You’re…” You trail off to find the word. “You’re apologizing to me. That’s all this is.”
His smile falters, dropping momentarily before returning with a bit less radiance. It’s his turn to nod. “Okay,” he says, fingers now toying with the edge of your sweatshirt. “Gotta make it count, then.”
And with that, Jamie presses his lips back to yours, grabbing you securely and pulling you off the counter. Your legs wrap around his waist, grabbing the sides of his face, like that’ll stable you against him. 
This time, it’s more desperate. It’s more tongues and teeth, more force and intention behind each movement. He’s setting the pace, but you’re keeping up tenfold. While it’d been four years, you’re not sure if he’d ever kissed you like this. He’s passionate instead of aggressive. While he knows what he wants, he’s definitely not just going to take it. He may be leading but he’s listening to you. And that stirs something inside you that you haven’t felt in a long time.
That much is clear, because you unconsciously let out a quiet sound against his lips. You can feel him smiling once more as he walks you slowly to wherever the hell his bedroom is. You’re caught up in him. And by the way he’s gripping you, you can tell he’s just as caught up in you.
So much so, that he completely loses track of where he’s going and accidentally slams you into his doorframe. You yelp, more because of shock than pain, and pull away to glare at him.
Jamie’s already apologizing. “Sorry, sorry,” he says. “Still gettin’ used to this place.”
“Well, figure out how to navigate better,” you respond, verging on a pout as you rub the back of your head.
“I’m sorry!” he repeats. He’s still got you against the doorframe. “It’s hard to see with your big head in me face. And I can’t kiss ya with, like, my eyes open. It’d be freaky.”
“I’ll give you a pass for that one,” you reply dryly. “Be weird instead of giving me a concussion.”
He’s walking you toward the bed when he mutters, “I’ll give you something, alright.”
Your back meets the mattress and you try to ignore the way he held his hand behind your head when he laid you down. You have under a second to adjust before he’s on top of you. The desperation returns and it almost takes your breath away.
He’s essentially straddling you, tugging at the waist of your leggings before he leaves one last kiss on your lips. He finally gets to pull your sweatshirt off, something he’d clearly been dying to rid you of since he first kissed you. You lift your arms up to help him, finding that you quickly start to do the same to him. You hear him chuckle as you attempt to get it up his back.
“I got it, love, hold on,” he says softly, tossing your hoodie to the side to take off his own. Your eyes immediately go to his chest and stomach and you refrain from reaching out to touch him. When you look up at him, you expect him to be smirking. However, he’s doing the exact opposite.
Jamie’s looking down at you like he can’t fucking believe you’re real. It’s jarring, seeing him like this, but you figure he’s in the same headspace as you and is still struggling to process that this is happening. It doesn’t matter, because before you can question it, he’s moving to press a kiss to your collarbone.
Your hand falls into his hair as he works his way down, mouthing the area of your chest. He pauses before he gets to the bra you’re wearing. His eyes flick up to yours. “Can I—”
You’re nodding before he can even get the words out, shifting to make it easier for him. He discards it to the floor with the rest. When he looks back at you, he releases a shaky breath and just stares.
He stares so intently that you begin to get self-conscious. “What?” you ask.
The question takes Jamie out of his trance. He shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says. “I just— I… Fuck. I forgot how beautiful you were.”
That spreads a warmth through you, one that pulls at your core. As you feel your face heat, you realize you have nothing to say to that. Luckily, he’s already moving on.
Jamie’s different. Really different. And you don’t realize how different he is until you start looking at him like you are right now. You were trying to convince yourself when you told Leah that he’d changed, you’ll admit that. But right now, you think you may have been telling the truth.
He grabs the waist of your leggings once more, lifting your legs to pull them off. You can’t help the laugh that leaves your lips as he struggles to do so. He shakes his head with a soft smile. “Missed that.”
“What?” you ask again.
“Your laugh,” he replies. “Missed that more than you know.”
The sweet words hit you like a bullet. The vulnerability in his voice is what gets you. Goddammit, when did he get so fucking nice? It drives you insane. But it also makes you quietly admit, “I think I’ve got an idea.”
With your leggings now gone, Jamie’s smile turns fonder. Gentler. He presses a kiss to your leg but says nothing in response. He simply places your legs down, eyes flicking down. He lifts his hand to trace down your stomach, stopping at the edge of your panties. The feeling makes you flinch.
He hooks a finger in the band, and your hips buck up to encourage him. His other hand spreads across your hip in a poor effort to keep you still. “Easy,” he murmurs. 
You huff out a breath. “You can—” Your breath hitches as two of his fingers push into your underwear. “Fuck, you can take them off.”
His lips quirk up. “Well, thank you for the permission,” he says. “But not yet. I wanna take it slow with ya.”
Your mouth parts. “Why?”
“Because it’s been years since I’ve seen you,” he answers, moving up to kiss you softly. He speaks against your lips as he says, “And I’ve apparently only got one shot to do this right. So I’m gonna make this last.”
You roll your eyes at his terribly disguised jab. “You’re a dick,” you mutter against him.
“And you’re—” He cuts himself off and a gasp escapes your lips as he cups your core and rubs his palm against it. “Fuck, love. You’re really fucking wet.” He’s positioned on you so that you can feel him getting harder against you thigh. “This all for me, yeah?”
His voice is cocky, while still sounding awestruck. The remaining dignity you have left makes you roll your eyes, albeit a bit embarrassed. “It’s for whoever doesn’t take their fucking time to give me what I want,” you bite.
Jamie draws back from you with a full smirk on his face. “That so?” he asks. The hand against you starts creeping up to the band of your panties. “And what is it that you want? You still haven’t told me.”
You scoff. “I told you.”
He pulls your underwear down your legs and the air around you suddenly makes you realize just how exposed you are. You told yourself you’d never give him the satisfaction of seeing you like this again. But here you were.
His fingers brush against the inside of your thigh, and you shiver once more. “No,” he tells you gently. “You didn’t. You just said you wanted me to keep my promise. You didn’t tell me what you wanted.”
He’s moving closer and closer to the place you want him and you don’t know if you can take it anymore. You shift uncomfortably, as if that will cease the ache. But you know only one thing will.
So, you give him the answer he’s been waiting for this entire time. “You.” His gaze meets yours. “I want you, Jamie. Please.”
That breathtaking grin returns. “Just because you asked so nicely.”
And then he puts his mouth on you without warning.
You spasm at the contact, crying out as he uses both arms to hold you still. The second you calm down, one hand leaves your thigh and you feel him work two fingers into you. Fuck. He didn’t know that before.
And it’s not like he was ever bad in bed when you two were together. You’re not sure you would have stayed with him if that were the case. It’s just… he’s better now. He’s hitting everything nearly perfectly, not stumbling like he used to. He’s more confident. More assured. He knows what he’s doing.
And it’s fucking hot.
The sounds that fill his room are downright obscene. He’s gripping one side of you to keep you in place, splitting you open on his knuckles with the other. His mouth zeroes in on your clit, alternating between licking and sucking in a way that honestly has you close already.
“F-fuck,” you breathe. “Fuck, Jamie. Don’t st— shit. Don’t stop. Please.”
Of course, the fucking shit he is, stops. He grins up at you, but continues to slowly pump his fingers in and out. “You sound so fucking pretty begging like that,” he tells you. He’s just as out of breath as you are. He feels you clench around his fingers at the praise and it only eggs him on further. “Look so pretty too. Fucking gorgeous.”
“Jamie,” you whine again. He’s going too slow. Teasing. It’s not fucking fair. He’s supposed to be the one apologizing to you. “I need— Ngh. I need—”
“What do you need?” he asks. “Tell me.”
You think you’d kill him if you weren’t completely incapacitated. “More,” you manage to get out, wincing as he continues at his slow pace. You’re close. Embarrassingly close. “Just fucking more. Please. I’m—” You interrupt yourself with a moan as he shoves his fingers deeper into you.
“I know,” he nearly coos. “I’ve got you.”
And got you he does. Because not only does he pick up the pace, he stretches you with a third finger. The sting of it is momentary, and it subsides as soon as he bends down and swipes your clit with his tongue.
Your back arches. “Jesus fucking— Jamie. Oh, my God.”
He’s good. Of course, he’s fucking good. He’s Jamie Tartt. You’re not sure he’s ever been bad at anything physical in his life. Emotionally was another story. But that story didn’t matter right now. Not when he’s got you like this, and you’re teetering over the edge.
He pulls away from you, breath tickling your core as he speaks. “C’mon,” he chides. “I can feel it. You’re right there, aren’t you, love?” He takes your breathy silence as confirmation and nods to himself. “Yeah. You just need—”
He removes one finger and crooks the rest a certain way, deeper than before. Your heart may stop beating. He’s done something he did to you time and time again, something that he was actually really fucking good at, something he knew you liked years ago. When he looks up at you, he searches your eyes. And by the way they roll back, he knows he’s struck gold.
The smirk returns and he continues to work his fingers into you, smirk growing each time he hears you say his name. “Yeah,” he whispers. “That’s it. That’s still it.”
You could finish at any moment. The telltale heat is rising in your stomach, and you’re just waiting for the cord to snap. And then, as if your muscle memory takes over, you reach out for his arm.
But instead of letting you do it like before, he does something completely different. He intertwines his free hand with the back of yours and guides it to your stomach. And then he presses on your hand.
The pressure builds. You’re barely able to make any noise. And then—
“C’mon,” Jamie repeats. “Come for me, angel. I wanna see it.”
The cord snaps, and you do as you’re told. You come. Hard.
Jamie talks you through it, fingers still moving to coax your climax out of you. You’re sure you look pathetic, crying out and thrashing around in his bed, but you don’t care. You can barely fucking see right now.
It’s been a while for you. Or at least been a while since you’ve had anything that good. And it completely strips away any sort of attitude or frustration you had before.
When you finally come back down, you laugh softly, shaking your head and throwing your arm over your face. “Fuck,” you say through a chuckle.
You feel him shift, moving up the bed to hover over you once more. When he removes your arm from your eyes, you see that he’s smiling. “Nobody’s ever laughed after I’ve done that,” he tells you, a faux pout pulling at his lips. He bends down to press them to yours and you can taste yourself. “It better be a good fuckin’ sign.”
You laugh again, reaching up to cup his cheek and pull him into another kiss. “Very good sign,” you assure him. It’s muffled against him, but you think he gets the point. 
It’s then that you catch him by surprise and flip the two of you over, straddling him in a way that makes him release a breathy sound that you’d missed dearly. But, something feels off.
Your glance down at him, expecting to feel or see fabric once you reach his leg. But there’s not much. Only what feels like boxer shorts. It catches you off guard. When did he take off his—
It doesn’t matter. It’s easier for you now. Especially as your fingers move across his abdomen, biting back a grin at the way he shudders. He looks up at you from his pillow.
“What are you doing?” he asks leadingly.
You shrug innocently, fingers toying with the band hanging low on his hips. “Returning the favor,” you reply. 
Jamie makes a noise of disapproval, placing a hand on your thigh like that’ll stop you. “I’m supposed to be the one making it up to you,” he states, but his voice gets less firm as you cup him through the fabric. “Fuck. Y-You don’t owe me anythin’. No favors.”
You shake your head, pulling at his boxers so that he springs free from inside. Your eyes travel back to his as you reach out and gently grab his cock, staring down at him with a smirk dancing on your lips. “You sure?”
He looks pained. You don’t know why. You’re offering a way to take him out of his misery. But still, he shakes his head and moves his arm from your leg to your back. 
He takes his turn to flip you over next. He swears under his breath as he does so, shaking his head when you land on your back.
“I told you,” he says, taking his boxers all the way off now. “It’s about you. Not me.” He shakes his head again, but this time it’s a bit more frustrated. When he speaks, it’s mostly to himself. “Can’t believe I just fuckin’ said no to that.”
A snort escapes you. “You’re a changed man, Jamie Tartt,” you joke.
He shrugs before placing his arms on either side of you. His voice teeters on teasing and earnest. “I’ve been trying to tell ya that.”
You’re not sure if it’s him, or the situation, or the sex, but you think you believe him. It makes your chest heavy. But you can’t admit that. You won’t let yourself. So, you keep that feeling tucked away, way in the back of your mind for safekeeping. You know it’s better like that. For your emotional sake, at least.
You allow yourself to prop yourself up on your elbow and kiss him instead of responding to that, bringing him in closer. You can feel the length of him press against your stomach, and his groan vibrates against your lips. 
He pulls away, grinding into you. The heat of your body is making him go wild. “Can I—”
You know what he wants. And you want it too. “Please,” you say. 
He nods, moving to angle himself against you. You glance down to watch him, heat flooding your face as he strokes himself before glancing up at you. You nod in return, giving him the confirmation he needs. Jamie grins.
He slides in you slowly. The stretch is mild but grows as he hovers over you once more. It’s easy to adjust, having been warmed up moments before. But for Jamie, it’s not as easy.
He bottoms out almost immediately, tensing over you. His head bows, chin falling to his chest. “Fuck,” he curses. It’s quiet but straight-up sinful. “God, fucking— you’re so—” You grip onto his bicep as he steadies himself. “I’m sorry. It’s just— i-it’s been a minute. And you’re f-fucking tight. Jesus.”
You don’t mind. He feels good like this, despite the fact he’s not moving. Your hand travels from his arm to his hair, tucking a piece of it behind his ear before settling on his jaw. “It’s alright,” you tell him. “We’ve got time.”
Jamie’s eyes snap open at that, but he’s not looking at you like you thought he would. You were expecting a cheeky sort of smile, a smirk, something in that realm. But he’s not. He’s looking at you like…
It’s something you can’t define. Something you’ve never seen before. It churns your stomach yet makes your heart race. Neither of you says a word.
He just dips down to kiss you again and slowly begins to move inside you. Your lips part in a gasp, and he slides his tongue in your mouth. Your back arches into him.
Before you know it, he's breaking from you and is breathing heavy against your neck. “Shit,” he groans. “You’re just— fuck. You…” He trails off, mouth hovering over your collarbone. “You drive me f-fucking mad. God, everything about you. Y-you don’t even know, do you?”
The pace picks up. He’s thrusting into you harder now and your nails dig into his back. You hear him hiss at the contact, but neither of you seem to care. “Fuck.” It’s all you can say. “Fuck, Jamie.”
He’s clearly not done talking. “How’d I-I fuck this up? Huh?” You can’t tell if he’s talking to you or himself. His mouth is on your chest now and the feeling runs through you like fire. “Fucking idiot. Didn’t know what I had. Can’t believe I let you go.”
You clench around him and it throws him off kilter. You watch his jaw clench, hand beside you gripping the pillow you’re on. “You w-were an idiot.” Your agreement is much less effective when it’s closed out by a high-pitched moan.
“I know. Fuck, I know,” he says. “I’m sorry. Deserved better.” He continues to slam into you. “I wanna gi—” A strangled sound erupts from his lips. “Give you better. You’re so—” When he shakes his head, he looks wrecked. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
Something about that sends a shock to your system. It makes you cry out and you can feel it. Your legs tremble around him. You’re close again. You’re really fucking close. 
He kisses you once more, deeper than before. It’s more frantic. Everything about him is more erratic. You can tell he’s getting there too. “Couldn’t stop,” he manages to get out, hot against your lips. “Couldn’t s-stop thinking about you. I missed you.” 
You clench around him again, the admission inching you closer. “Shit,” you say. “Fuck, Jamie, keep going.”
And keep going he does. His hand moves down your stomach, fingers finding your clit. He rubs circles into it and that sends you into a fucking tailspin. He swallows the sound you make. 
“Missed you,” he says again, but it’s more helpless. Jamie fucking whimpers. “God, I f-fucking missed you, angel. Missed you so fucking much, I—”
You don’t hear the rest of what he says because you come the second he makes that sound. It’s white-hot. Blinding. Your legs twitch around him and you claw at him as he continues to rub your clit. You’re loud, but you don’t give a shit. It seems to spur him on.
He’s not far behind you. He spills into you with a groan, stomach flexing as he heaves over you, twitching inside of you. You’re still recovering from your own high as you open your eyes to watch him. You catch his expression for a moment before he’s collapsing into you.
You release a soft ‘oof’ at the sudden weight of him. He doesn’t say anything for a moment and neither do you. You just breathe together. But after a moment you allow yourself to put a hand in his hair.
“You’re fucking heavy,” you tell him, but there’s not much bite in it.
You feel him chuckle. “Give me second,” he says. “Not as fuckin’ agile as I used to be. Took a lot out of me, alright?”
You roll your eyes but continue to run your fingers through his hair. “You’re twenty-six and like, the face of the AFC,” you tell him. “Richmond might have to shorten your contract if you’re dying after that.”
He presses a kiss to your shoulder. “Take that up with me Chairwoman then.”
You can’t help but laugh as you push him off of you, wincing as you feel him slip out. He lands with the same noise you did. “If she heard you complaining like that, she’d be on my side.”
Jamie grins at you, joining in on your laughter. He shifts toward you, grabbing your hand to play with your fingers. “You’re probably right. Shouldn’t be complainin’,” he says. He lifts your hand to his lips. “Not when you’re here.”
They’re sweet words. The casualty of them makes your heart swell. But that anxiety about him returns. One time thing, you tell yourself. Apology. One time. That’s all.
You pull your hand back softly and he glances over at you. There’s a hint of worry in his eyes, like that one movement set off alarm bells in his head. You give him an uneasy smile.
Before you can move to get up or say anything or do something, he’s talking. And you have to refrain from wincing. 
“I know…” He looks away from you. Shy. “I know you said one time,” he says, as if he can read your fucking mind. “And that’s… That’s okay. I get that, yeah? But I—” Jamie wipes a hand down his face, staring at the ceiling. “I meant what I said. I missed ya. Really.”
You missed him too. But your walls have been rising back up since he started talking again. “I don’t know what you want me to do with that,” you tell him, only partially lying.
You feel like an asshole when he winces. Maybe you were being an asshole. Maybe it was finally your turn to do so. 
“Just…” He finally looks at you. “If you ever… don’t want this to be just a one-time thing.” He waves it off in an attempt to look casual. You know he’s anything but. “You’ve got my number. Or whatever.”
The timidness in his voice makes your resolve soften. Even if you don’t see him again, you suppose you can let him down easy. He’s been kind enough tonight to deserve that. You nod at him as you sit up. “Okay,” you say. “I’ll let you know.”
It’s only slightly awkward as you get out of his bed and search for your clothes. He asks if he can call you an Uber home and you reject it, letting him know that you’ve got one on the way.
You can feel his eyes on you as you dress, ignoring the way they burn into you. You can tell he’s searching for something to say, or something to talk to you about but doesn’t know what.
You’re half-dressed before he can shoot himself in the foot and say something stupid. “Hey,” he finally says. You glance over your shoulder at him after you slip your sweatshirt on. “I’m really glad you texted me.”
The nice streak you’re riding on continues and you offer a small but genuine smile in return. “Me too,” you admit, ignoring the way that his own soft smile pulls at your heartstrings. 
Before you leave his room, you offer one more admission. You stop in the doorframe he hit you against, lips curling further upward. “It was really good to see you, Jamie.”
He props himself up on his elbow, smile growing. “Good,” he says, nodding. Then, like a prick, he winks at you. “Glad we’re on the same page.”
You physically cannot stop yourself from rolling your eyes and you hear him laugh to himself as you walkdown his hall. “Goodbye, asshole.”
He shouts a tired-sounding ‘bye!’ when you slip your shoes on, shaking your head as you look around his apartment once more. The candle on his counter is still burning, smelling of amber moss and palo santo.
You blow it out before you leave, knowing he’ll forget.
And as you do so, you feel yourself regress. Or grow. You’re not quite sure which one.
But it makes you curse under your breath and leave his flat immediately.
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There is one more universal truth you forgot to mention. 
And that’s that the second you think you’re over Jamie Tartt, he comes back into your life and flips everything on its head. And it’s the only truth that’s been confirmed to you all week.
Because the second you arrive home and see that you have a text waiting for you, your heart picks up. You hate the way you get excited to see it.
I had a really good time tonight.
And the second he comes back into your life, you’re reminded that you’re not over him. Not even in the slightest. And it’s fucking debilitating. 
me too. 
And you know your friends are going to kill you the second you follow up with.
i’m free friday if you want to grab a drink.
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