#jeni wrote this

[sns-tropes]

sns fic: without you

chapter summary: No one's ever really asked Sasuke what he wants. Not like this.

pairing: sasuke/naruto (ninja!verse) post-698, part three one-shot to heart in your hands

rating: Teen (i guess), warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, anxiety, trust building (words: 3k+)

A/N: OH LOOK, sasuke and naruto in an actual relationship where they communicate. unreal. (also if you haven't read the first two parts, this might be brain rot but i guess you could read it alone for the feels) you can read part 1 here on ao3.

- jeni

Sasuke tries to be home often. It’s strange that there aren’t many other places to be but home, but it's hard sometimes. He knows he’s supposed to be reporting, doing his job, writing out his daily findings. He does find things. But Naruto does most of the work.

He thinks Naruto does most of it, not for any kind of merit, but just to have something to do. There really isn’t anything to do up here. Cook maybe. Sleep. Contemplate how cold it is in the snowy weather. 

When Sasuke gets home, he checks the calendar. One year to date. Halfway through their mission. Sasuke feels like he hasn’t taken full advantage of the time. He feels like he hasn’t grown like he thought he would. He feels like he hasn’t grown as much as Naruto has. He’s not sure if that makes the thought sting more. Naruto has changed so much for the better. Sasuke feels stagnant still. 

He feels cold up here on the mountains. Ichiro keeps him warm most nights. He wonders why it seems like him and Naruto are too busy for each other. He doesn’t ask. He won't. Can’t. It’s not in his programming.  

Naruto mentions that he misses spring and summer. Sasuke doesn’t know what to make of that comment. Something in the back of his mind is screaming, ‘he’s tired of you.’ Logically, that doesn’t corelate. But Sasuke has never really functioned off of pure logic anyway. 

Naruto doesn’t do anything to urge those kinds of negative thoughts. He’s patient and kind, and always welcoming him home. So why is Sasuke telling himself that none of it is sincere? 

It’s late now. Too late to ponder on such negative thoughts. He’s tried to train his mind away from it. These kinds of thoughts seem to occur more often at night. He lays his head down and he truly can’t believe that an entire year has passed him by. He reaches out to scratch Ichiro’s head, and he gets soft purrs in return. Slowly but surely, it will lull him off to sleep. He isn’t sure where Naruto is. He’s not here, that much is certain. He’s missing the familiar creak of the wood that gives way under Naruto’s careless steps. 

Sasuke wonders when he became this needy. He’s not quite sure when it happened. Maybe it’s not that Naruto is tired of him. Maybe it’s because he’s finally realized just how much Sasuke hurt him. Perhaps he’s figured out just how much damage Sasuke has done, just like Sakura realized it. No number of apologies and heart to hearts can cover up some of the awful things that he’s done. And even though they’ve spoken on it before, on more than one occasion, even Sasuke knows that some kinds of hurt never truly vanish. He doesn’t particularly favor her, but that doesn’t ease the guilt somehow.  

Maybe Naruto is starting realize that. For lack of a better phrase, maybe their honeymoon phase is over. Maybe they’re just- growing apart. His throat tightens at the very thought. Sasuke scoffs in the dark. It’s so ridiculous, what he’s come to. He tries again to get comfortable in the blankets, feeling like crawling out of his skin. 

He’s not sure is he even has room to be upset. His eyes fall on the ruck sack in the corner. It’s the one Naruto came up the mountain with his belongings when they first made the trek. It’s empty now, unmoving from its usual lazy spot on the floor. Naruto uses it to run errands into town every now and then.  

Naruto has always worried about Sasuke leaving him. It seems that Sasuke should have been the one worried. Because he's always had Naruto’s love, support, and loyalty. It’s been unwavering. There’s nothing that Sasuke could do that Naruto wouldn’t forgive. But Sasuke feels like it would be foolish to assume things will stay that way. 

He’s really not sure what his life would look like without him. It would be a lot less worth living for, he thinks. It's too sad to think of. He feels pretty pathetic, imaging it in self-pity. He’d never admit it. 

He tries not to stare intently as Naruto gently crosses the floor boards of their temporary home. It’s a relief to see him return from wherever he was, but Sasuke shows no signs of relief or even that he may be awake. He tries to suppress the shiver that catches up to him from the sheer cold of the night. It’s useless. He shivers almost violently, not being able to help it. And just when he thinks that there really isn't any hope left for them, Naruto stops dead in his tracks. He turns around. Not swiftly at all. But rather slowly, carefully, like his body itself is a worried question. 

“Sasuke?" 

Sasuke doesn’t really have a mind to acknowledge or deny him, he just sits in a strange state of neutrality where his heart and bones ache with something. He’s afraid. Always afraid. As many trials as they push through, he still cannot seem to clear the storm. The storm that keeps him indoors until Naruto takes his hand and yanks him outside the door into its depths. He’s starting to realize that maybe Naruto won't do that every time. Maybe he’ll have to step out himself once in a while. 

He shivers again, and it almost overtakes him. He thinks maybe it isn't the temperature that’s affecting him now, but his own fears. He breathes deep and shuts his eyes for a moment trying to calm down. 

Sasuke feels awful, like always as of late. Torn open, like always. He wishes he could locate the exact spot of these feelings and reach into his own chest to rip them out. He’s tried so many times, but this time feels different. It feels heavier, almost crushing.  

A warm hand touches his cheek and Naruto realizes right away that Sasuke isn’t cold at all. Not even a little. It must be some kind of anxiety tick. It’s really not uncommon for Sasuke to have them, but never to this extent. 

He continues to shiver, worrying Naruto to a new degree.  

“W-what?” Sasuke stammers under the gentle touch of Naruto’s hand.  

Naruto laughs low and knowing. It makes Sasuke tremble even more.  

“Not feeling well?” Naruto says far too gently. Sasuke reaches forward, completely unthinking. He grabs onto Naruto’s shoulders, trying to ground himself. He doesn’t understand what’s gotten into him.  

“Having a moment?”  

Naruto isn’t unfamiliar with these feelings, falling victim to many episodes himself. He wants Sasuke to know it’s okay to just ride the wave and lose his footing. He’ll catch him. 

“I feel fine.” Sasuke all but grits out. A clear lie. Naruto is calm though, like he knows exactly what’s ailing him. 

Naruto presses a soft kiss to his lips, and Sasuke wants to pull away from him, feeling undeserving of attention. But he doesn’t. He just can’t. His instincts won't allow it. There’s so much for him to feel here with Naruto. Even when it’s rare, he wants it so desperately. He clings helplessly to it like a priceless relic. 

“You’re shaking, you know.” Naruto tells him. “I can make tea?” 

“No, I’m not cold.” 

“Then should I stay here?” He asks softly. Sasuke tries to push him off with a scoff, but it’s so weak and without effort that Naruto only laughs. 

“I’m not making fun of you.” Naruto says seriously, a hand flying to Sasuke’s hair to pet through it gently. “I’ve missed you.” 

Sasuke’s breath hitches a bit. So, it was all in his head then. It was in his head like every other time he’s ever doubted that someone could possibly love him.  

“Seems like you’ve been avoiding me,” Sasuke bites out. That’s really not what he means to say. He’s still not very eloquent after everything. Naruto just hums thoughtfully in response, because he really hasn’t been at all. He knows better than to take the bait. He can't fight with Sasuke right now, not when he clearly needs his attention.  

Naruto has explained to Sasuke many times that he likes to give him space. They work better when Sasuke comes to him of his own volition. Sasuke knows this and has acknowledged it, so he’s not quite sure why he still acts this way despite that. 

Naruto is looking at him so sweetly as he continues to comb the hair out of Sasuke’s eyes patiently. 

“What?” Sasuke asks, noting the fond stare he’s receiving. 

“It’s sorta weird.” Naruto starts, “That we ended up here. It's really crazy that we aren't dead.” He chuckles lightly. 

Naruto has a lot to say about everything still, even after a year. He holds back for Sasuke. Because Sasuke is not very talkative, and he doesn’t want to bother him with his sentimental rambling. But Sasuke doesn’t stop him. Naruto knows deep down that Sasuke is just as sentimental as he is, if not more. He simply would rather die than show it. He just nuzzles further into Naruto’s hand, scooting closer for warmth. He isn’t telling Naruto to shutup, so He wants to hear whatever corny thought he has. 

Naruto snakes an arm around him, pulling the covers over them both now. 

“Did I ever tell you,” Naruto clears his throat, “About the dream I had, our first night at the med center?” 

Sasuke’s brow furrows. “No. Tell me.”  

He’d like to hear about it. Peering into Naruto’s dreams used to be one of his favorite pastimes. He doesn’t do it anymore. He figures if they’re trust building, that’s a good way to start. 

“I dreamt we were still out there. In the rubble.” He sighs breathily. “I dreamt that we never got up. We just bled out.” 

Sasuke just hums in response, trying not to show just how uneasy the thought of Naruto dead makes him. It’s disturbing to hear Naruto mention their deaths so casually now. They went years carelessly stating how willing they are to die. Sasuke can’t imagine justifying such a thing now.  

“I know it’s kinda morbid, my brain does weird stuff. But it wasn’t really that bad. It was almost... peaceful?” He pauses, thinks for a moment. “Like I was ready.” 

Naruto can hear Sasuke let out a shaky breath, but he’s finally stopped trembling.  

“Sorry, I’ll stop talking.” 

“No-” Sasuke stops him, finally calming down. “I mean- Keep talking.” It’s helping him come down off of his panic. 

“You want me to talk?” Naruto chuckles. “I thought my voice was annoying.” He throws Sasuke’s words back at him from earlier that morning. Sasuke had told him that his voice was very annoying as he sang an old folk tune that they hadn’t heard since they were eight years old.  

“I lied.” Sasuke quips, suddenly not feeling as shy as he usually is. “Tell me more.” 

“I guess I don’t really have much else to say about it. Just something I wanted to get off my chest.” He says tiredly.  

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”  

“I had just got you back.” He mentions quietly, quieter than he’s been thus far in the conversation. “For the first time in a while death was the very last thing on my mind.” 

Sasuke frowns, thinking his word choice is interesting.  Got him back . He wishes Naruto never had to feel like he lost him in the first place. He wonders how long regret can linger before someone would go insane from it. 

“Did you think of it often?” It’s times like these when Sasuke really tries to connect with what Naruto is saying. “Death, I mean?” 

“More than I should have.” He says, pulling Sasuke in closer. 

“About your own? Or others?” 

“Always others. But I thought that if I lost enough people, I might just die of sadness.” 

“That doesn’t sound like you.” He deadpans. 

“Yeah, I guess not.” He chuckles. “Intrusive thoughts.” 

Sasuke sighs deeply, leaving it at that for now as he rests his head on Naruto’s chest. He’s gotten used to this now. Physical contact. Touching just to touch. There is no goal is mind. Naruto runs his fingers back through Sasuke’s hair. It almost lulls him to sleep, but not quite. It just settles him down into something more pliable and reasonable. 

“I should go over our report for this week.” Naruto sighs and attempts to pry himself away from Sasuke and get up from the futon.  

Unthinkingly, Sasuke tugs him back. “Just-” He stops himself, flushes a bit, “We can do it in the morning.” He suggests. 

Naruto chuckles, slightly confused by the suggestion. He stays put nonetheless. 

He knows that this is peculiar behavior for Sasuke to display, but it’s not like he’s never seen it before. From time-to-time Sasuke will get nervous or anxious, or maybe just overall unsure of himself. There was a time when Naruto would have considered it extremely out of character for Sasuke to act this way. But ever since they’ve moved out here on the mountains, it’s been more frequent. He gets the opportunity now to know himself better. 

Naruto doesn’t think this is a bad thing. He gets insecure sometimes as well. But he also figures that despite Sasuke’s nervousness, he is someone that knows what he wants. If he didn’t want Naruto, he would have just left instead of extending his hand to invite him along.  

He thinks it’s a  good thing  that Sasuke gets like this sometimes. To Naruto it means that he’s getting more in touch with his emotion, which he supposes is never a bad thing. With how many years he pushed them down, Naruto wants to see him feel all kinds of things.  

Just when he thinks Sasuke is asleep he starts to pry himself away. But Sasuke isn’t asleep. No, not anything close to asleep. Naruto discovers he’s quite awake as he feels Sasuke press a soft kiss right to the pulse point of his neck. Naruto’s breath hitches a bit. He never knows what to expect sometimes. But it’s not unwelcomed.  

He thinks it will be left at that. Just one kiss. More follow shortly after the first. Soft, open mouths kisses that become breathier with every passing moment. He preferers when Sasuke initiates things like this. He never wants him to feel like it’s an essential part of the relationship that they have. Because really, it isn’t.  

The most important thing is that they’re together, and everything else comes second. Sasuke has expressed once or twice to him that it seems difficult to ask for these kinds of things. Because it’s difficult to ask for something he craves desperately but seems to feel guilty in wanting. Naruto wants him to know that he deserves all the things he wants. 

Naruto is trying to work on the consent thing with him. Problem is, he’s not really a talker. He tends to clam up during sex and try to keep every word and sound to himself. It brings Naruto back to the first time they had together. It was a little awkward. A little difficult. But somehow perfect.  

Nothing has changed at all. He still wants him in that very same way, one solid year later. 

Sasuke seems slightly annoyed at Naruto’s lack of reaction, and it almost sounds like he’s pouting. Naruto chuckles fondly at him, pulling back to get a good look at his expression. Now’s the perfect time to test out just how much he’ll say.  

“Hey...” He whispers to Sasuke, nudging at his nose with his own, teasing him with a kiss. “What are you up to?”  

Sasuke just makes a noise of distaste. That’s not enough for Naruto. “Tell me what you want.” He persists.  

Sasuke hates that it’s come to this. He hates asking for anything. He wishes Naruto would just take the reins. He seems to be good enough at it. Why can’t he do it more often? For once, he doesn’t want to think about anything. He just wants to turn his brain off for a bit and feel. 

He pulls away, feeling stupid for initiating it. 

“Hey, no,” Naruto says gently, snatching his wrist to try and draw him back. “Come on, talk to me.” 

Sasuke looks into blue eyes. They’re too honest to look at. 

“Nothing has changed.” Naruto says. 

The simple sentence holds so much weight. 

“Why do you always want me to  tell  you?” Sasuke asks frustrated.  

“Because- that’s just- I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with what we do.” 

“Of  course  I am.” He scoffs, pulling away again.  Which is terrible, because even in his annoyance, he only wants to be close. It’s ridiculous, considering what they’ve done in the past. He doesn’t really get Naruto’s point. 

“That doesn’t work for me. You have to tell me what you’re thinking.” 

“I don’t- I’m not fragile. You don’t have to ask every time.” 

“Oh, I shouldn’t?” Naruto says sarcastically, “So you’re just okay with anything I wanna do?” 

“ Yes .” He says bitingly.  

“So, I can tie you up, then? Slap you around? Call you names?” 

Sasuke flinches. 

“N-no.” 

“Great. That’s why I need you to talk to me.” 

Sasuke doesn’t say anything. He feels ashamed of himself when Naruto curls away from him. It’s difficult to say what he wants sometimes because he hardly knows himself. Right now, he’d just like to be held. He supposes he could ask for that at least, but he still feels so disappointed in himself.  

Naruto sighs tiredly, flipping to face him again. 

“Try again.” He says patiently. “What do you want right now?” 

“Just- Just stay close.” He stutters. 

Naruto seems semi-pleased with that answer, so Sasuke tries a bit more. 

“I feel better when you touch my hair.” He mumbles embarrassingly. “It calms me down.” 

“Okay,” Naruto says in that gentle voice again, that one that Sasuke craves. “Good. That’s good.” 

He blessedly pulls him close again, hand back to carding through his hair. He melts into it again feeling relief rush over him. There’s a lot of things he doesn’t understand still about why Naruto is so adamant about this. 

“Do I always have to ask?” he mumbles against his chest. 

“No. But you need to tell me when I ask you.” 

Sasuke grumbles in defeat. He would rather Naruto guess what he wants than have to say it every time. He supposes it’s a habit he’ll have to break if he wants this to work. 

“You should be more specific.” Sasuke tells him. 

“About what?” He replies in confusion. 

“Like- be specific about what you need to know I'm okay with.” 

“Sasuke- that doesn’t make sense.” He sighs. 

He’s trying to figure out how he can make him understand. 

“It’s easier for me to answer with yes or no.” He says, and hopes it’s not the wrong thing to say. 

Naruto hugs him a little tighter. Maybe he does understand. 

“Okay. I can do that. Like before?” 

Like before when everything was fresh and new and Naruto asked him about everything. That’s always when Sasuke felt the most cared for. He scoffed at him back then too. But he didn’t mean it. Every time Naruto asked him what was okay with him, his heart fluttered happily behind his scowl.  

Things are different now. They’ve had time to get to know themselves a little better here in isolation. Away from prying eyes. It’s left both of them more lost than they’d like to admit. Sasuke especially. There are no appearances to keep up with here. It leaves them questioning what they really need from each other. 

“Like before.” Sasuke confirms.  

“Okay, yeah.” Naruto sounds proud of him. It makes Sasuke’s heart swell with something new. “Can I kiss you?” 

Sasuke nods, but nothing happens.  

“Yes.” He says, brain slowing a bit. 

Naruto pulls back enough to look at him properly. He’s smiling at him proudly, and Sasuke feels a little high on it. He kisses him carefully, with a certain impatient edge.  

Sasuke loses track of time for a little while. Their lips are swollen by the time they pull away. 

“Was that so hard?” Naruto teases breathily. 

Sasuke for once, doesn’t scoff at him. He lays his head down on Naruto’s chest, wondering how he ever let himself slip so far into doubt.  

“You know, right?” Naruto asks him sleepily. Sasuke knows what he means to say. He reaches for a hand to hold, chest too tight for the beat of his heart. 

“I know.”  

#heart in your hands #fic #sns #sasunaru #narusasu #fanfiction #fanfic #i wrote this a while back but i just wanted to cross post in here too #also sorry we have no content #shay's at university abroad and i am slowly gaining a social life so no time for posties #jeni

[cherrycola27]

Whoever's in Lemoore

Hello, loves! I wrote this for @roosterforme 's #tgmrocktober challenge!

This fic is based on the Reba McEntire song "Whoever's in New England"

Warnings: Language, cheating, pregnancy and related complications. Angst

...........................................

Bob Floyd was the best husband you could have ever asked for. He was kind, smart, hard-working, and attentive.

You were an elementary teacher, and Bob was a WSO. The two of you probably never would have met, had your best friend Jennifer "Boston" Lyons not set the two of you up. The two of you grew up together, and Jeni was a member of Bob's squadron in Lemoore.

Unfortunately, when Bob was called back to Top Gun and then eventually given a permanent station in San Diego, you had to leave her behind, but it was fine. You two had always made a long-distance friendship work. Honestly, it had helped prepare you for the times that your husband was deployed.

You were thankful though, that with his new station, deployments would be less frequent.

After buying a house and settling down, the two of you decided to start trying for children. Bob had three siblings, and while you didn't have any, both of you agreed on the fact that you wanted at least three kids.

You both also knew how stressful it could be on a couple when trying for children, so you decided to stop taking your birth control and have fun for a year. If you got pregnant, great, if not, after a year, the two of you would get serious, start tracking cycles, and see a specialist if needed.

You had really hoped that each month, you'd get a positive pregnancy test, but month after month, they came up negative.

Bob was extremely supportive of you, and after a year, the two of you buckled down. You tracked your cycle, both of you watched your diet, and you even saw a fertility doctor who assured you that both of you were healthy and to give it time.

Give it time.

You tried to give it time, you really did. But you were so desperate to be a mother that it started to take a toll on you, Bob, and your marriage.

Suddenly, trying for a baby wasn't as fun as it once was. Sex became more of a chore rather than a thing of enjoyment.

But finally—finally you and Bob got the miracle you'd been hoping for. Only, you seemed to be more excited about it than he was.

You chalked it up to shock.

Unfortunately, pregnancy was not easy for you. Early on, you were diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, which caused you to experience dehydration and a short hospital stay. Your blood pressure was also dangerously high, and your blood sugar wasn't at a level that the doctors were happy with.

Which is why, at sixteen weeks, you were put on bed rest until your child was born.

It was hard for both of you. You couldn't eat or sleep. You were moody and irritable. You libido was also in the toilet. You hated your life, but you knew it would all be worth it.

At first, Bob seemed so supportive, but as time passed, be became cold and distant.

Looking at it now, you can pinpoint where the cracks in the foundation of your marriage started. If only you'd seen them sooner.

................

"Honey, I'm home." Bob called as he entered the kitchen. You were sitting on the couch watching TV. It was late. Almost 8pm. You had already eaten dinner, showered and changed into some comfy clothes.

You offered Bob a weak hello as he came in the door. He'd been getting home from work later and later.

In the darkest part of your mind, you thought the worst—that he had someone else. But he wouldn't do that to you. He was your Robby. You were carrying his son for crying out loud.

On a particularly bad day, you asked him about it. He was almost heartbroken that you could even think that.

He soothed your worries by telling you, "I'm working on important things for our future. I'm an officer on his way up. I'm trying to make sure you and the baby are taken care of." You believed him. You cried as you apologized to him.

"How's my favorite girl and my favorite little guy?" Bob asked as he came and kneeled in front of you on the couch. He pressed a few kisses to your stomach before moving to your lips.

"We are fine." You sighed as he trailed his lips across your jaw to your ear. "Fine? Is that so?" He whispered. His hot breath fanning across your skin.

Bob trailed one of his hands to the apex of your thighs before you stopped him.

"Bob, not tonight. I've been sick all day, and I've finally been able to keep something down." You told him with an apologetic smile.

He didn't say anything. He stood up, muttered something under his breath, and wordlessly went to shower.

You sat there and wept. You hated yourself. You felt like the worst wife on the planet.

Later that night, you tried to make it up to Bob, but you got sick halfway through. After you had puked your guts out, Bob had tried to hold you, but you didn't want to be touched. It led to an argument and him sleeping on the couch. What a Monday.

Tuesday, Bob came home and told you he'd be going to Lemoore Wednesday afternoon to help with a training workshop on Thursday and Friday and he would be back late Saturday evening.

"Again?" You sighed. "Bob, that's the third time this month! And you went several times the past two months. Doesn't Admiral Simpson understand that you have a pregnant wife at home who is high risk?" You ask him.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry, but just a few more weeks and everything will dial down. I promise." Bob said as he kissed your head and went to pack a bag.

The only thing you had to look forward to was that Jeni—or Boston, as she typically went by her call sign now, was supposed to visit this weekend.

However, se called you Wednesday night telling you that she was sick and wouldn't make it.

So, you spent the rest of the week alone, sulking, in your all too quiet house.

When Bob came home on Saturday, you were feeling good. The best you had in all thirty weeks of your pregnancy.

You made him his favorite dinner and greeted him at the door with a big kiss. He was more than happy to sit down and have a meal with you.

After dinner, you urged him to shower, with the hope that you'd be able to spend some sensual time together.

While he was showering, you grabbed his bag to unpack it and do some laundry.

As you were taking his clothes out, a feminine scent washed over your extra sensitive nose.

Perfume—and it wasn't yours. But you were sure you smelled it before, you just couldn't place it.

You shook your head before letting your mind wander. Bob worked with women, and he was friendly—one of them probably gave him a hug and was wearing a lot of perfume—it made sense. Bob wasn't that kind of guy.

You dismissed the feeling in your gut and started the washing machine.

A few minutes later, Bob's phone rang. You checked the caller ID only to see that Jeni—your best friend was calling him.

"Jeni?" You said as you answered the phone.

"Y/N!" She exclaimed, almost as if she was surprised to hear your voice.

"Jeni, why are you calling Bob?" You asked her. There was a long pause.

"Jeni—why are you calling my husband?" You ask, this time a little more forcefully.

"Oh, Y/N, it was supposed to be a surprise. I'm coming down at the end of the month because I was going to throw you a surprise baby shower, and Bob has been helping me with it." She tells you.

"Aww, Jeni, that's so sweet. Well, I'll have him call you back so I don't ruin anything else!" You cheer into the phone before hanging up.

"Why do you have my phone?" Bob asks you. You turn around, surprised to see him.

"Jeni—er—Boston, I guess, called you to talk about the baby shower that you're helping her plan. I'm sorry I ruined the surprise, but Robby, you're the sweetest!" You say as you wrap him in a hug.

"Baby shower—right." Bob breathes out. "Let me call her back." Bob says as he takes his phone. You leave to give him privacy, but before you can make it down the hall, you hear him speak in harsh, angry whispers. You hate that you ruined his surprise, but you wish he wouldn't be so hard om Jeni. It's not her fault.

Another week passes, and Bob becomes more distant from you. You hyperemesis gravidarum is acting up again and your mood is all over the place.

He's coming home from work later, and you can't help but wonder if something is amiss. But you dismiss it time and time again.

One Wednesday afternoon, you decide to surprise Bob on base with his favorite lunch.

You walk into the rec room where his fellow aviators are waiting and they look at you like you have three heads.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Rooster asks you.

"I came to bring Bob some lunch. Where is he?" You ask them.

"Bob left early today. He said the two of you had some appointments this afternoon." Phoenix tells you.

In that moment, the world around you stops. The container of chicken pot pie and chocolate chip cookies slip from your hands and crash to the floor.

"Shit!" You exclaimed as you saw the mess you made.

"Y/N! Are you okay?" Hangman asks as he grabs some paper towels to clean up the mess.

"Yes, it's just I forgot, and I'm so late." You say as you turn on your heels to go to the hallway as you try to hold back tears.

"Y/N!" Phoenix calls after you. She intercepts you in the hallway.

"Is everything alright?" She asks you.

There's no point in lying.

"No. Nothing is alright. Between how hard this pregnancy has been and Bob having to go to Lemoore to teach classes, and him lying about where he is today. I think—I think he's having an affair." You finally admit.

"What do you mean he's been going to Lemoore?" Phoenix asks you.

You look at her blankly.

"Oh my god, I'm so fucking stupid. He's told me that almost every other weekend that he's had to help teach some classes in Lemoore. But that's when—that's when he has been going to see his mistress! That's where he is now! Oh my god!" You cried. Phoenix took you into her arms before leading you down the hallway to her office.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N, maybe there is another explanation." Phoenix offers, but you can tell she isn't sincere. "I smelled perfume on his clothes, and he's been hiding his phone. I should have seen the signs, but I've been busy growing a human." You cry harder.

"It's all my fault. I've pushed him away. I've been so moody and sex—I haven't had the desire to—I drove him into another woman's arms." You sigh.

"Hey now, this isn't your fault." Phoenix tells you. "Let me take you home. You're in no shape to drive." Phoenix says. You agree and she helps you to her car.

"I need to call my best friend, Boston, she's a pilot, too. She was supposed to come down next weekend to throw me a baby shower, but now I don't want her to. I can't—I can't believe this." You sob as you dail her number, but it goes to voicemail.

"Your best friend's name is Boston?" Phoenix asks you. "It's her call sign." You tell her.

Phoenix swallowed thickly, praying her gut was wrong.

Phoenix offers to stay with you until Bob shows up, but you tell her you need to be alone.

You grab one of Bob's duffle bags and start stuffing his things in it. There's no way you are letting him stay in your house. At thirty-three weeks pregnant, you probably shouldn't be stomping up and down the stairs, especially with you being high risk, but you have to.

You make your way through the house every time you see a picture of you and Bob. You tear it off the wall or shelf it's on and throw it across the room.

He comes home late that night and hears you screaming. He rushes in the house and finds the living room destroyed and sees one of his duffle bags packed on the couch.

"Honey, Y/N, are you okay?" Bob asks you. You look at him, he looks so concerned.

You don't say anything to him. Instead, you march up to him and slap him so hard that his glasses fall off his face. He picks them up and looks at you like you're a wild animal.

"What the fuck was that for?" He curses at you.

"You know exactly what it's for, you liar." You spit at him.

"Honey, what are you talking about?" He asks.

"How long? How long has it been going on?" You question him.

"How long has what been going on?" He feigns ignorance.

"How long have you been sleeping with someone in Lemoore?" You accuse him. Bob tenses at your words. A day he had hoped would never happen, has.

"Don't even try to deny it. I looked through our credit card statements and saw the hotel charges." You say to him.

"Y/N, I'm sorry." Bob says.

"Sorry? You're sorry? Why? Because you cheated or because you got caught?" You laugh. "It doesn't even matter. I packed you a bag. You can go stay with your mistress. And when whoever is in Lemoore is through with you, don't try to come back to me. Also, I'm telling you now, you will not be a part of this baby's life." You say as you try not to cry.

"Y/N, please, don't do this, I'm sorry, Boston, and I never meant to hurt you, it just—"

"Boston? Boston—as in Jeni? As in my best fucking friend who is like a sister to me? As in the person who introduced us? You've been fucking her?" Rage thrums through your veins. "I can't believe you, Robert. Take your things and leave. There's the door."

You turn away from him.

"Well, what did you expect, Y/N? You've pushed me away. You're moody and sick all the time. You never want to be physical. I was lonely. I needed someone, and Boston was there for me." Bob defends himself.

"You needed someone? You were lonely? That's rich. You don't think I've been lonely? You don't think I needed someone? The two people who were supposed to be there for me are the ones who betrayed me.

Bob opens his mouth to speak, but he quickly shuts it again.

"I packed a bag for you. We can work out a day where you can come get the rest of your things. Because when Boston decides she has better things to do, you don't have a home here anymore." You tell him as you sit down in the kitchen.

"Also, I called your mother, and while she and your family are more than welcome to be in this child's life, you won't be." You say.

"You called my mother?" Bob asks is disbelief. "Yes, Rebecca is very disappointed in you and told me to say that you weren't welcome in her home." You state.

Bob shakes his head. "So that's it? You're just giving up on us?" Bob asks as he stands at the door with his bag in hand.

"Don't try to spin this around on me. You're the one who gave up on us, Robert Floyd." You deadpan. There's no remorse in your voice as you ask him to leave.

Bob knows there is no point in trying to argue. He hangs his head and walks out the door.

That night, the Dagger Squad comes over to comfort you. Maverick asks you if you'd like to move to have Bob and Jeni dishonorbly discharged for their actions, but you turn him down. There's no sense in dragging it out.

Coyote and Hangman work to change all the locks for you in the house. Payback and Fanboy clean up the broken glass and thrown items in your floor.

You tell Maverick and Rooster where to find Bob's things, and they pack all of them in trash bags for you.

Phoenix sits with you on the couch, your head on her shoulder and she holds you as you cry.

Two weeks later, you find out that Bob put in a transfer to Lemoore after you serve him with divorce papers. You make sure to clean out your joint accounts before he can touch them.

Four weeks after that, your son is born.

Connor James Y/L/N is absolutely perfect when he is born. He has your features, and you're thankful for that. You don't know what you would have done if he'd come out looking like his father.

The Daggers and your family rally around you. True to your word, you let Bob's parents and sisters be in Connor's life. It's not their fault that Bob messed everything up.

You know, one day that your son will ask about his father, by then, you hope you'll have the words to tell him.

You also know that one day, you'll see Bob again. When you do, you'll ask him if whoever was in Lemoore was worth it.

You hope he's says no.

Taging somw who might be interested: @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @mayhemmanaged @wkndwlff @thedroneranger @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @hecate-steps-on-me @cassiemitchell @na-ta-sh-aa @katieshook01-blog @desert-fern @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @djs8891 @roosters-girl @sebsxphia @rosiahills22 @dempy @callsign-magnolia @alchemxx @lewmagoo @withahappyrefrain @lt-spork @multifandomlover4life @beccaanne814 @bradshawsbaby @seitmai @kmc1989 @bcarolinablr @rhettabbotts @itsdesiree86 @waywardhunter95 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @whatislovevavy @inkandarsenic @tomanybandstolove @jiminie-08 @dingochef @laracrofted @skipchat @sunlightmurdock

#cherrycola27 #top gun maverick #top gun #tgm #bob x reader #robert bob floyd #bob floyd #bob fic #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction #top gun 2 #lt. robert floyd #top gun rocktober

[beardedmrbean]

The FBI violated private citizens’ constitutional rights when it seized contents from hundreds of safe deposit boxes during a 2021 raid on a Beverly Hills business suspected of money laundering, a federal appeals court ruled last week.

"This was a resounding victory, not just for our clients, but for the hundreds of people who've been stuck in a nightmare for years because of what the FBI did," Institute for Justice Senior Attorney Rob Frommer, who represented several plaintiffs in the case, told Fox News.

The U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals found the bureau violated U.S. Private Vaults box holders’ Fourth Amendment rights against unreasonable searches and seizures by opening and cataloging the contents of 1,400 safe deposit boxes without individual criminal warrants for each.

The Jan. 23 ruling reversed a 2022 lower court decision siding with the FBI and requires federal officials to destroy any inventory records of the hundreds of box holders not charged with a crime.

Agents took about $86 million in cash from the boxes in the March 2021 raid, as well as a trove of jewelry, gold bars and coins, silver and other valuables. In May of that year, the FBI "commenced administrative forfeiture proceedings" against an unspecified number of the boxes, according to court documents filed by the government.

Civil asset forfeiture is the process through which the government seizes money or other property believed to be linked to a crime, even if the owner isn't charged with a crime.

The FBI's raid on U.S. Private Vaults was part of its investigation on the company, which ultimately shut down and pleaded guilty to conspiracy to launder drug money. The government argued before the 9th Circuit that its warrant authorized the FBI to seize the deposit boxes and inventory their contents in accordance with standardized policy.

'LEGAL THEFT': TEXAS POLICE SEIZED MAN'S LIFE SAVINGS. NOW THE STATE IS PUTTING HIS CASH ON TRIAL

But unsealed court documents showed neither the FBI nor the U.S. Attorney's Office told the judge in their warrant request that agents planned to confiscate the contents of every box containing at least $5,000 in cash or belongings.

The warrant only authorized authorities to seize business computers, money counters and surveillance equipment. The judge also allowed them to seize safety deposit boxes and keys, but specifically wrote that agents should only "inspect the contents of the boxes in an effort to identify their owners … so that they can claim their property," and that the warrant "does not authorize a criminal search or seizure of the contents of the safety deposit boxes."

In its decision, the 9th Circuit panel wrote that the government had gone beyond the scope of its warrant and violated its own rules by taking inventory of property that wasn’t the subject of a warrant.

Circuit Judge Milan D. Smith Jr. wrote that it was "particularly troubling" that the government couldn’t explain the limitations to these types of inventory searches and questioned how they differed from the "limitless searches of an individual’s personal belongings" like those seen in colonial America.

"It was those very abuses of power, after all, that led to adoption of the Fourth Amendment in the first place," Smith wrote. 

THE FBI TOOK HER LIFE SAVINGS. NOW SHE’S FIGHTING TO HELP OTHERS GET THEIRS BACK.

Jeni Pearsons, one of the plaintiffs in the class-action lawsuit said the win was "incredibly gratifying."

"Hearing these judges just knock them down a peg and talk through the situation, this extraordinary overreach and an actual breaking of civil rights … it was just really, really gratifying," she told Fox News. 

Pearsons and her husband Michael Storc had $20,000 in silver and $2,000 in cash seized from their rented security deposit box during the raid. She teamed up with the Institute for Justice to fight for her property and ultimately prevailed, but said she found the FBI had lost the $2,000 when she went to reclaim it.

"I do think that the FBI is watching this case," Pearsons said. "And I hope that if they do continue with civil forfeiture processes, that they put structure in place so that it's transparent and that it's not just a free-for-all all, which is what this seems to be."

"It's a free-for-all all within a ridiculous defense," Pearsons added.

But Frommer said while this ruling helped "expose the government's attempt to steal innocent people's things," he doesn’t think it will end civil forfeiture abuse.

"I think this ruling on its own is important, but it won't stop the FBI's grasping hand," he told Fox News. "Yeah, they got their hand slapped just now. But unless there's real consequences, they'll just view this as a dry run for the next time."

The FBI declined to comment on the ruling. Thom Mrozek, a spokesperson for the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Los Angeles declined to comment on the ruling but said the prosecutor's office was "prepared to destroy records of the inventory search, which is the relief sought by the plaintiffs in the case." ____________

4A= Illegal search and seizure, aka come back with a warrant.

#nunyas news

[fantasyfantasygames]

Several Short Games, Part 2

Last time I got through about half of the games that Lily gave me. Here's the rest of them, including the one that's much longer than the others.

queerweird (Jeni Usborn, 2016) The game queerweird (lowercase mandatory) is an asymmetrical indie game for three people in shorts around a fire pit. The game's "safety rules" section directly addresses that last point, and you find out quickly that that's because the resolution mechanics include kicking at the firepit. Other resolution mechanics include yelling loud enough to get an echo or making out with one person until the third one gets uncomfortable. Really, queerweird isn't meant to be played. The art seems mostly like it's Usborn's private kink stash touched up to a minimum of reasonability. Cool stuff: Look, if I didn't sell you on it already then there's no cool stuff in here for you.

Giant Robots on Spreadsheets (Henry Stein, 2007) When you have someone who is very, very mathy writing a game, they generally write about a thousand pages of Very Arithmetic game rules involving space, mecha, or both. I know because I did that once. Mechanical engineer Henry Stein went several steps further. He simplified it all down to reasonable heuristics, transferred it to one massive Excel sheet that did all the work for you, and gave it tabs that would let you look up the rules by keyword. He distributed this at-cost on USB 2.0 keys in .xls format. What's that? You have a computer with a USB 3.0 ports and can only read .xlsx format? Yeah, such was the fate of my mathy space game written in WordPerfect as well. Cool stuff: The game balance is impeccable.

Uncomfortable Erotic Tension Cultivator (ListyMcListerson, 2019). UETC is a two-player game / foreplay tool. It is the 21st-century, slightly grown up, itch-diaspora equivalent of naughty dice. (Not Naughty & Dice, that's different.) Cool stuff: Meant to be used over the course of several days to, as the name says, build tension. It puts you into an actual scenario rather than just being "Roll the dice and hope it comes out hot."

ARCANO, the Game of Rules, Magic, and Regulations (Little, Burco, and Frane, 2014) ARCANO is a 5-volume set, outweighing all the other books on this list put together. Each book is in 12x12 inch format, and the whole set makes up a one-foot cube. The books are: character creation, core rules, summoning, shadow magic, and bibliomancy. There are just those three classes. Individually, the rules are not particularly intricate or complex, but there are a lot of them. Cool stuff: The bibliomancy book. Not only is it put together in a way that makes it a useful tool at the game table, but it turns all four other books into bibliomantic resources as well. There are acrostics and anagrams and all kinds of neat things hidden away in it. It's a shame the authors of the other books couldn't keep up.

Just Let's Make Pretend (AnonymousIsMyUsername, 2023). JLMP is a diceless game, if you can even really call it a game. It's like someone wrote down a set of instructions for "make-believe" just in case we ever needed to explain the concept to martians. It's not poorly-written, but you don't need it. Cool stuff: Cites its sources. If you're looking for people who are studying RPGs as a scholarly pursuit, the reference section in JLMP is an excellent place to start.

Thanks again to Lily Vers for the pile of books. Now the question is how I can foist them on someone else. I'm starting to fill up my storage container.

#ttrpg #imaginary #indie ttrpg #rpg #review #sure I'm into roleplaying let me grab my wizard hat #hurr durr magic wand yes we've all heard that one thanks #I look forward to your spreadsheet-driven mecha games

[cupidszone]

oc deep dive with my trash son mitch pleurnichard !! 😚💖 thank you for the tag lovely @duusheen <3

What uncommon/common fear do they have? he would tell you its open bodies of water which is slightly true but its really that hes incapable of being loved. he thinks that once people see beyond the hot guy exterior they won’t find anything worthy of love and affection.

Do they have any pet peeves? he despises being cut off when he’s talking and he will fully walk away if you do it more than once!

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? polaroids, stray fabric, and old yoga mats

What do they notice first in a person? insecurity, not in a “let me learn your weaknesses so i can use them against you way” but in a “IM deeply insecure and trying to hide it” way.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? 3/10 hes a baby lol. which makes his post breakup decision to get a piercing even funnier

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? flight immediately. any chance to get out of confrontation he will take no questions asked 😅

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? i mean he has 2 sisters and 1 mire he considers his sister so not really a big family but i think as hes aged he really appreciates his family and any chance they can all spend together he enjoys.

What animal represents them best? rollie pollie next question! jk hm probably a hedgehog 🦔

What is a smell that they dislike? …siennas “fancy” perfume 🫢 she wears a different thats fine but whenever she hangs out with mitch she puts on the one he can’t stand without noticing he dislikes it

Have they broken any bones? no but he had a million cavities as a kid

How would a stranger likely describe them? mysterious 🙄 if you spent two seconds with that man you’d know exactly who he is

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? night owl 100% idk how manages to get up and do yoga the next morning

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? artificial coconut & anything barbecued

Do they have any hobbies? besides doing yoga he loooves to sew (unless it’s for work lol)

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? shocked!! if he didn’t share a birthday with jeni i doubt he’d even celebrate it anymore :’)

Do they like to wear jewelry? not unless he’s going a nice event but he definitely went through that phase of wearing a bunch of rings on both hands

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? surprisingly neat! its gotten better over the years you would not be able to read anything he wrote pre-20s lmao

What are two emotions they feel the most? love and shame, often at the same time

Do they have a favorite fabric? knitted fabric 🥹 it reminds him of home and his mother

What kind of accent do they have? ive never thought about it before today omg! well he didn’t leave sulani until he was almost 30 so he’d probably have a pretty strong accent. i feel like he tried to kind of soften it once he got famous though (you already know how relentless people are to anyone “different” 🙄)

i tag: @elysiantrait @flocy-sims @tulipberrysimss @druidberries and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it <3

#hope this gives an insight on him #i think hes neat #and he my make dumb decisions #but he’s still my baby 🫶🏾 #tag games #crybaby whims extras

[obviouslybooks]

January books

okay so i was going to do some cute eight-photo collage with all the book covers of the shit i read this month but y'all know it really ain't in me to put forth the effort to do that. what i do have the energy to do is to read 8 books and tell you a bunch of shit about them while providing a link to my goodreads so you can see all the pretty pictures i was too lazy to complie.

Here's what i read and what i thought.

Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

one star (though i gave it two stars on goodreads just because i don't want people to be like oh look, poly relationships don't perform well, but yeah) i wrote out a whole review about why it was objectively terrible. I wanted to like it but ugh.

Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism by bell hooks

wish i had read this one before i read Hood Feminism, but yes, still a valuable read

Girl, Forgotten by Karin Slaughter

it was good. genuinely good not just "i'm being nice" good. Ms Karen is a bit much sometimes but it is nice to be able to read one of her books without the level of intensity she has in some of her more popular books. I didn't realize until i started it that it was a sequel to Pieces of Her. pleasant surprised

Literature and the New Culture Wars: Triggers, Cancel Culture, and the Teacher's Dilemma by Deborah Appleman

4/5 stars. bit repetitive, cancel culture doesn't exist in any meaningful capacity, and we should absolutely have access to the classics but must be able to have a nuanced approach to them and not treat them like they are infallible.

Beetle & the Hollowbones by Aliza Layne

i fucking loved this. i think the only reason this didn't hit a 5/5 was because i wanted just a tiny bit more of the world building, which is difficult to do in a graphic novel but you know. a girl can dream.

Juice Like Wounds by Seanan McGuire

beautifully done, intense imagery, wish i had read it closer to the time i read In An Absent Dream but meh, what ya gonna do? overall, it was unnecessary but lovely

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

this is one of those "product of its time" things. and i did get intense A Wrinkle in Time vibes in the way it ended. just a screaming ass child hollering the same flat dialogue to save the other protagonist. (i checked, they came out in the same year but this one came out like 7 or 8 months later. could have been a trope of the times) really though was there any reason for will's dad to whop the shit out of him to get him to chill?

Record of a Spaceborn Few by Becky Chambers

I loved the first book, adored the second, liked this one but didn't feel as attached to the characters this time around. it did have a similar tone to the Monk and Robot books she wrote

#monthly wrap up #booklr #fiction #nonfiction #goodreads #book rant

[orfealfonso]

FAMILY CODE OF THE PHILIPPINES

TITLE VI: PATERNITY AND FILLIATION

Chapter 3: Illigitimate Children

shall use the surname and shall be under the parental authority of their mother, and shall be entitled to support in conformity with this code. The legitimate of each illegitimate child shall consist of one half of the legitimate child.(287a)

Jenia San Juan Dela Cruz and Christian Dela Cruz

G.R. No. 177728, July 31, 2009

Facts:

The father's signature was missing from the "Autobiography" document that was annexed to the Affidavit to Use the Surname of the Father (AUSF), and Jenie was refused permission to register the birth of her child because the child was born outside of wedlock and the father "unfortunately died prior to his birth and has no more capacity to acknowledge his paternity to the child."

In order to get Gracia's name registered and receive an injunction, Jenie and the kid immediately filed a case. The trial court determined that even though Dominique, the father, wrote the unsigned, handwritten Autobiography, it does not expressly recognize Dominique as the father's father.

ISSUE: Whether or not the unsigned handwritten instrument of the deceased father of minor Christian can be considered as a recognition of paternity.

RULING: Yes. Article 176 of the Family Code, as amended by RA 9255, permits an illegitimate child to use the surname of his/her father if the latter had previously recognized him/her as his offspring through an admission made in a pubic of private handwritten instrument.

Article 176, as amended, does not explicitly state that there must be a signature by the putative father in the private handwritten instrument.

The following rules respecting the requirement of affixing the signature of the acknowledging parent in any private handwritten instrument wherein an admission of filiation of a legitimate or illegitimate child is made:

1)      Where the private handwritten instrument is the lone piece of evidence submitted to prove filiation, there should be strict compliance with the requirement that the same must be signed by the acknowledging parent; and

2)      Where the private handwritten instrument is accompanied by other relevant and competent evidence, it suffices that the claim of filiation therein be shown to have been made and handwritten by the acknowledging parent as it is merely corroborative of such other evidence.

[drarrymylove]

things you can overhear when Harry is teaching Draco how to cook

Draco: I made a conscious decision to use less salt this time. 

Harry: ...

Draco: I wanted it to be more healthy.

Harry: ...

Draco: it didn’t taste as good.

Harry: Yeah, you always were a salty bitch.

***wooden spoon clatters against the wall near Harry’s head***

#drarry #drarry text post #still got those food fair vibes up on this blog #jeni wrote this #cooking with drarry

[likesplatterpaint]

Are all pufferfish kinda hard to care for or is there a species that is a little easier on beginners? I would love to buy one one day but I want to be able to narrow it down so I can do proper research..

Hiya! So in short…yes and no. Some of it comes down to if you have experience as a fish keeper already! If you’re already solid on the nitrogen cycle and how to keep water parameters safe and clean, you have a leg up. I wouldn’t recommend puffs as a very first fish. Puffs are messssssyy and need heavy filtration and weekly water changes. They are generally more sensitive to ammonia build up and water quality than some hardier fish.

The other component to consider is the food you can provide. Can you offer a healthy array of crunchy foods (snails mostly, to wear down ever growing teeth. Mine get clams frequently), earthworms/bloodworms/black worms, crustaceans, and the other things puffs need based on their species?

Are you comfortable working with brackish or saltwater? Some of the commonly recommended beginner puffs either need brackish, or eventual full marine (like Burd, our GSP)

Most puffs do best in at least a 20 gal, but of course it varies from species to species.

The species *I* started with, and the ones I see recommended often are dwarf puffers (ten gal min), figure 8 puffers (20 gal min), and green spotted puffers (40 gal min). The last two fall into that salinity issue I mentioned above. Dwarf puffers are freshwater and should be kept in groups, if certain criteria is met (that’s newer info to me- I had been told keeping a singleton was okay, but apparently it’s really stressful for them. Fish keeping gets less black and white and more gray as I get older)

South American puffers are similar in size to GSPs and F8s, and very personable. They are also shoaling fish like I’ve recently learned about DPs, and need a group of at least 6…which means around a 55 gal tank. I love them but have stayed away from keeping them because of all the freshwater puffers, their teeth grow the fastest, even with crunchy foods. And tbh puffer dentistry is something you should be prepared for with a lot of these guys. I’ve had to sedate Burd and trim his teeth. It’s my least favorite thing, because honestly sedating them scares me, but it’s a responsibility I have to deal with that I signed up for when we brought him home.

There are a looooot of species tbh! We also have Louie the fahaka (freshwater, 180 gal) and Yamuel the Congo/potato puffer (freshwater, 20 gal- but Yamuel is spoiled and lives in a 45. Honestly he uses the space!). I wouldn’t recommend them as beginner puffs at all. There are other freshwater puffers out there too, but they tend to be lurkers and not as interactive.

I’ve found ThePufferForum dot com to be very helpful with articles and such. PufferfishEnthusiastsWorldwide also seems to have great info and LEGIT info. I’ve become friends with admins from both, a lady much older than I keeping puffs longer than I’ve been alive (Jeni/PufferPunk) and Macauley, who I don’t know as well but knows his fish info forward and back. I also have a friend Sabrina who runs BeFishy, another site that has reputable info. She has MANY species of freshwater puff and is a joy to talk to. I don’t know if Mari is still around, but Aquariadise also had some solid puffer care sheets.

It’s very easy to run into misinformation on these adorable fish, so thanks for asking and doing your research first! I’m happy to talk puff more once you have some specifics about size/salinity/food available/activity level! And talk deworming- most puffers are wild caught. If you click the tag I gave this there should be more info and links, though be aware I may have learned more since I wrote older posts. Good luck!

#puffer resources

[cupcakes-and-pain]

I tried for a long time before I manage to contact Kanoa, it was hard, he doesn’t trust me a bit, but I don’t need his trust I only need his help so I left a note to him.

“I know you team little bloody secret, I have a problem with the secret’s owner and the one who controls them, I can help you solve the secret issue and you can help me solve my problem, what you think?”

You want to be suspicious Kim? Fine, I can make you suspicious, but I can’t guarantee that your plan will go on without running into some problems.

———

This person kept contacting Kanoa. At first he wrote it off as a relentless scammer or paparazzi, then possibly a villain, but this not delivered into his window via random gust of wind… complicates things.

The note referenced the team’s “little bloody secret” and a supposed owner of this secret. Based on that description, Kanoa could only think of one possible secret: the boy in their storage room. But that would mean that this person had been spying on them quite closely. They must have had taken a thousand and one precautions to keep this whole situation from the prying eyes of the public. And yet this person knew about it?

And “the one who controls them.” Does this person mean their leader, Jeni? Or does the note mean Dr. Jebbins, the head of all hero operations in their city and the guy who decides a huge portion of what heroes can and cannot do on their missions?

Or maybe they’re referring to Hazel, who has been pretty manipulative with Ethan lately, more so than usual.

Hmm… no. There’s no way this person, no matter how good of a spy, would know about Hazel’s control over Ethan. Their security is too good, they would have at least suspected someone was sneaking around their base, if not already know. Kanoa himself helped make sure that they would always be aware of unwanted visits inside and around their hideout.

But this person also says they can solve the secret issue. If they mean what Kanoa hopes they mean, the author of the note wishes to free Runt of his captivity. But why would this person want Runt freed? What purpose would that serve them? And why did they reach out specifically to him?

And last but not least, solve their problem? Of course, it’s referring to how they mentioned that they have an issue with Ethan and someone else. But how exactly do they plan on “solving” this? Beating them up? Kidnapping? Torture? All of which he’d be fine with if it happened to Ethan, heaven knows that kid needs to be knocked down a few pegs. But it’s the other person that will be alongside him that worries Kanoa.

After much debate, Kanoa saves the note so that he may try and properly decipher it later. He then orders for a full testing of their defenses. Jeni trusts his judgement, something he is very glad for, and complies. What he finds from the testing results is… disturbing, to say the least. He can’t afford to send them all into panic, so he keeps the information to himself, for now.

But he’ll have to figure out soon exactly how someone has been watching them for the last week and a half without the team ever realizing it.

#also I think this goes without saying but none of this is cannon #runt isn’t really getting out of this hell hole yet #thanks for the ask!! #ask #whump #Kanoa my beloved #runt rescue plan

[moldisgoodforyou]

significant upgrade

i wrote the rest of this on the plane don't come for me if there is a MISTAKE !! (however do politely shoot me a message so i can correct my typo lmao)

wordcount: 3.4k

warnings: nada except brooklyn is a BITCH, ok so maybe cursing is a warning

_________

James: SOS

Sophie

Doll

Sophie: what do you want

James: Come bar

To the bar

Sorry not sober

Sophie: I’m grading, buddy

James: No no no

DEFCON 5

Urgent

After their short back and forth, and James’ little typing bubble popped up multiple times before going away, Sophie pushed aside her work and called him. She checked Find My Friends first, feeling better about the situation once she saw Rafe’s dot at the bar with the boys. “James? Something wrong?”

“Yes. Sophie, listen, look. You gotta get here.” James told her with a little slur to his words, but what was more telling was the sheer volume on the phone call as he yelled. He was always a loud person naturally, but she swore he got ten times louder when he had an ounce of alcohol.

“I already told Rafe I couldn’t, I have to catch up on grading stuff if I want to go out tomorrow. Is something really wrong?” She questioned, but considered going anyway. She’d already graded over half the work and it was proving easier to mindlessly go through than she thought, and she could knock it out tomorrow morning if she really needed to.

“It’s like, urgent, Soph. Look, come here, wear your sluttiest top - that’s not an insult, by the way, it’s a compliment or whatever - like, empowering or some shit - shut up, Colin -”

“James -”

“I’m serious, she is not backing down -”

That caught her attention and she stood, glancing over her appearance in the mirror. “Who?”

“Just c’mere. I’ll have a drink ready for you. Are you still on that Fireball peach schnapps kick? Like a fuckin’ psycho?”

She laughed. “You drink vodka redbulls, James, shut the fuck up. I’ll be there in...uh...ten.”

“Deal. Sluttiest top!” He added before hanging up.

She rolled her eyes, looked herself over in the mirror, and shrugged. She wore an old pair of Nike shorts and a t-shirt of Rafe’s with his name on the back, an old intramural shirt. If it wasn’t senior year, and if she wasn’t locked down already, she’d probably give more of a fuck, but she just wanted to take the opportunity to hang out with her friends while she could. After swiping on a quick coat of cherry lip balm and brushing her hair, she shoved her feet into sandals and made her way to the bar.

When she arrived, she went straight to their usual corner booth and slid in next to Colin, who greeted her with a grin and a drink, as promised. James threw his arm around her shoulders and messed with her hair immediately, making her squawk in protest. “Flint, kiddo, that is not nearly as slutty as I expected.”

“The Cameron on the back adds some possession though, don’t you think?” Colin pointed out, slapping James’ hand away from her.

Sophie scowled, combing her fingers through her hair. “What am I here for?”

“Oh! Right.” James stood on his toes and scanned the bar, locating Rafe in the far corner. Rafe wore a forced smile and was leaning against the wall with a couple of the other interns from Jeni’s over the summer - including Brooklyn, who was twirling her hair and stood right next to Rafe.

Sophie stood on her tiptoes, hand on James’ shoulder for balance as she followed his gaze. “I don’t see him, what am I looking at - oh, shit.”

“Yeah, see why I told you to go for the slutty top?” James reached for her shirt, tugging at the hem until she shoved his hand away.

“No, she would have just implied I was a prostitute or something.” She shook her head and turned back to the table, then took a long sip of her drink, draining nearly half of it in one go. “I don’t want to seem, like, overbearing - I mean, she’s with the whole group.”

Colin raised his eyebrows, skeptical. “She’s touched his arm multiple times and made him link arms when they did shots earlier. Had everyone else partner up too as an excuse.”

“Exactly.” James nodded, emphatic. “I already tried to rescue him, but Colin says m’ too drunk.” He hiccuped to punctuate his statement, then pushed a plastic shot glass toward her. “Here. Got you tequila.”

She wrinkled her nose, eyeing it with a frown. “I hate tequila.”

“See! I told you!” Colin exclaimed, snatching the shot glass away and knocking it back. “If you need backup, just wave or look over or something. I’ll deck her if I need to.”

She grinned, drinking the rest of what James got her. “Thank you, both of you. I appreciate it.”

“Hey. Whoever Rafe’s dating, we’re dating too.” James proclaimed, patting her head affectionately. “Just without the fun parts.”

“Lovely.” She replied, glancing over toward Rafe again. Brooklyn was now leaning just a little closer and Sophie could practically feel the tension radiating from his body, even from all the way across the room. She frowned when the other interns seemed to agree on something, dispersing, but Brooklyn stayed.

Sophie stood there and watched for a few more moments, seemingly frozen, until Colin nudged her shoulder. “Go.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” She dismissed, taking another breath before striding across the room. Of course, someone turned at the exact moment she rounded the bar, spilling their drink down her light pink shorts, soaking the entire left leg. She didn’t even let the guy apologize before she shrugged him off with a grimace and made her way toward Rafe.

He noticed her immediately out of the crowd, grinning and straightening up once he saw her. “Soph!”

She smiled at her eager boyfriend and how he always lit up upon seeing her, without fail. “Hi, baby.” She greeted, slipping her arm around his waist as he rested hers comfortably around her shoulders. She never - ever - used pet names in public, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Thought you weren’t coming out tonight?” He asked, glancing over her outfit and frowned when he realized half her shorts were wet. “What happened?”

“Grading went quicker than I expected.” She dismissed, her eyes flitting over his expression. He looked confused and she could tell from the way his eyes were glassy that he was drunk and nearly on the verge of falling asleep. “Can I try your drink?”

“Rafe, are you going to introduce me?” Brooklyn feigned a smile, fingers tightening around her own drink.

He furrowed his brow even more, looking between the two of them. “I thought you guys met. At the charity gala thing, remember? Sophie had that really pretty dress?”

“Yeah. We’ve met.” Sophie replied coolly, taking Rafe’s whiskey sour from him and took a sip. She hated them, with all her heart, but wouldn’t dare make a face in front of Brooklyn.

“Oh! Sorry, I just didn’t recognize you, you must have been wearing a ton of makeup or something at the gala.”

“She still looked like herself.” Rafe supplied, confused. He traced his thumb over Sophie’s cheekbone, staring at her in concentration before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Sophie swore she saw Brooklyn’s jaw tick as she watched the two of them, as she watched what she used to have.

“Okay, okay. Rafe, did you tell her about all the fun things we did this summer? Sophie, you were away or something, right?” Brooklyn asked, hyper-conscious of how Rafe leaned into Sophie more and how he pressed a sleepy kiss to her temple.

“Nope.” He replied, popping the p. “Nothin’ to share. The internship was kinda boring. She was in Barcelona.”

“Oh, right. Long distance wasn’t too hard on you then?” Brooklyn probed with a sympathetic smile. She reached toward Rafe to touch his arm reassuringly, then seemed to remember at the last second that Sophie was right there, and jerked her hand back like she’d been burned.

“Nah. Why?” Rafe asked, cocking his head to the side, some of his hair flopping into his eyes.

Brooklyn grinned. “I just didn’t think you’d still be together, is all.”

“That’s funny, because I’m pretty sure you follow me on Instagram. So you’d know.” Sophie shot back with an equally fake grin, determined to come out on top in the petty exchange.

She wished Rafe was more sober so he could make an excuse for them to leave or shut the whole conversation down, but when he was drunk he didn’t pick up on any tone inflections. (She’d accidentally made him upset more times than she could count with a poorly worded sarcastic insult, and immediately felt guilty as his drunken gaze gave way to his signature pout.) To an outsider, their conversation seemed as civil as possible, like three friends catching up, until you got close enough to see the bared teeth and the tense jaws.

“No...I don’t think I’d waste a follow on you.” Brooklyn retorted, glancing down to the Cartier ring on her hand. “Sophie, usually when people wear designer, they have to have the clothes to match the rest of the outfit. Not whatever…” she looked her up and down, scrutinizing her clothing choice. “...Whatever is going on here.”

“Hey.” Rafe interjected, finally noticing the hostile undertones in the conversation. “Be nice, she’s hot in whatever she’s in.”

Sophie had to resist rolling her eyes at his completely unhelpful comment. “It’s okay, Brooklyn, I actually have style, so I don’t have to rely on wearing tacky designer clothes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my boyfriend and I are going to go hang out with our friends.” She glanced over toward the boys for backup and tilted her head toward the door, and James and Colin started making their way over. Alright. So she’d handled that well, she thought, matched her energy without getting too emotional or heated -

Brooklyn wrinkled her nose at Sophie’s comment. “Careful. He gets emotional when he’s drunk.”

“He doesn’t, actually, he was probably just being manipulated by you.” Sophie shot back with a sharp tone, protectively curling her arm tighter around Rafe’s waist. He just watched the back and forth with a furrowed brow, not sober enough to keep up.

James and Colin arrived just as Brooklyn sneered at Sophie, shaking her head. “Whatever. He’ll end up drinking away his problems in private like his dad anyways.”

As Sophie’s nose flared and as she took a quick step toward Brooklyn, getting right up in her space, Colin immediately grabbed Rafe’s arm and pulled him away. “C’mon, Rafe, let’s wait for her outside.”

Rafe let himself be tugged along, but frowned as he glanced back at the girls. “She’s gonna be okay?”

“Yes. She’ll be fine.” Colin replied confidently, dragging Rafe and James out of the bar.

Sophie stood tall, eye-to-eye with Brooklyn. “Don’t say that shit about Rafe. You don’t know him like that -”

“I do, actually. I know a lot more about him than you probably realize. Has he taken you to the Bahamas yet?” Brooklyn didn’t back down at all, smirking when she saw Sophie’s expression falter for a split second. “Still no? He’s probably embarrassed.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Sophie snapped, unable to come up with a better response. “Give it up, you’re not with him anymore.”

“Yeah, but I know he’s not going to keep up this little facade once we graduate college. He needs someone that can keep up with his family, that’ll do more than just hang on his arm at all the charity events.” Brooklyn smiled, taking a step back. “I’ll be there for him when you can’t hold your ground.”

“You’re delusional.” Sophie shook her head, so furious she couldn’t snap back with a sharp comeback. When Brooklyn just shrugged and lifted her drink to her lips, Sophie tipped up the bottom of it, making it splash all over Brooklyn. “Have a good night.”

“Fucking -”

Brooklyn exclaimed, but Sophie just turned on her heel and flipped her off over her shoulder as she strode out. She was fuming, practically shaking, but didn’t dare break down in front of anyone in the bar.

Colin regarded her carefully, making sure she was okay. “You good? Need me to go back in and finish the job?”

Rafe, leaning on James, seemed to finally realize she’d come out. “Baby! You’re back!”

She bit the inside of her cheek, taking a deep breath. “No, I’m okay. Thanks Colin. Need help walking these two home?”

He grinned, gesturing at the way the two boys were slumped against the wall of the bar. “Might need a little help, yeah.”

She nodded and slipped her arm around Rafe’s waist, unsurprised when he leaned into her and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “Alright. C’mon, Cameron, your bed awaits.”

James sighed, striding along with them. “I want a girlfriend to bring me home.”

“Too bad, you’re stuck with me for now.” Colin quipped, grabbing James’ arm when he tripped on the uneven sidewalk.

“Was she being mean?” Rafe asked with concern, reaching for her hand. “I wasn’t listening.”

“Yeah. Your ex is a bitch.” She replied bluntly, taking his hand and squeezing it. “Am I gonna have to drag you home?”

“No ma’am. I’m good. All good.” He replied quickly, though unconvincingly as he slurred his words. “There’s a chance that I might be a tiny bit drunk.”

“A tiny bit?” Colin snorted, waving his hand in front of Rafe’s face. “You and James did multiple Jagerbombs. That always does you in.” He glanced over Sophie again, concerned. “Soph. You okay?”

“Huh?” She did her best to help Rafe along and guide his 6’3” frame so he wouldn’t trip over the sidewalk or walk the wrong direction, but was running through a script in her head of all the things she wished she had said - or done - to Brooklyn.

Colin frowned. “You’re doing that thing, Rafe says you bite the inside of your cheek when you’re mad. You want me to go back in? I’ll talk to her, I swear -”

“S’true. She does.” Rafe confirmed, then finally seemed to pick up on the anger radiating from her. “Did I do something?”

“No, baby, you didn’t do anything wrong.” She reassured him quickly, then gave Colin a small smile. “It’s okay. Thank you. I just - she just -”

“Yeah. I know.” Colin nodded. “Fuck her.”

“Exactly. Fuck her.” She repeated, a little louder and a little more confident.

James whipped his head back and started walking backward for about two steps until Colin forced him to keep his eyes ahead. “Who are we fucking?”

“We’re not - James, pay attention.” Sophie sighed, urging him along.

Rafe leaned over to press a kiss to the crown of her head, then whispered - in the loudest stage-whisper possible - “I think I’m a little too drunk for fucking.”

“Rafe.”

“Yes.”

“Please shut up.”

“Yes ma’am.” He nodded dutifully, hooking his arm in with hers. They made it to the boys’ house a couple minutes later and Colin shoved James onto the couch, tugged off his shoes and grabbed him a water bottle from the fridge.

“Alright. He’ll be fine here, Sophie, do you need help with the stairs?” He asked, noticing the way Rafe slumped onto her.

“Um...no. I think we got it.” She took a deep breath, her mind still racing from what Brooklyn said at the bar. “Thanks, Colin.”

“Night, you two.” He paused on the stairs, glancing back at James and then at Sophie for a moment before heading upstairs.

Sophie nodded, more to herself than anything else. “Alright. Rafe, baby, work with me on the stairs and then we can go to bed?”

“I got it, I got it. M’not that drunk.” He protested, but tripped up the first step anyways, knocking his knee against the stairs as he fell hard with a thud. “Ow!”

Without even asking, Colin was jogging back down the stairs all the way from his room in the attic, hauling Rafe up before Sophie could blink. He dragged Rafe up and into his room, ignoring his protests, and pushed him onto the bed. “Soph, you can go get ready for bed, or whatever. I’ll babysit.”

“I think I got it, Colin -” She started halfheartedly, only to be cut off by Colin just pointing at the door. She nodded gratefully and hurried into the bathroom, quickly wiping off her makeup and brushing her teeth. When she returned, she paused just outside the door to hear Colin talking to Rafe.

“Give her a break, okay? She just had to deal with your insane ex -”

“She didn’t have to -”

“She did, because you’re a fucking pushover sometimes.” Colin interjected, exasperated. “Your breath reeks, get your ass up and go brush your teeth.”

“You’re mean.” Rafe grumbled back, but got up and ambled out to the bathroom, giving Sophie a dopey grin as he passed. Colin followed him out but stopped in the doorway, acknowledging her with a nod.

Sophie looked like she was about to cry, overwhelmed by how nice he was being and the fact that someone even noticed that she was struggling a little with dealing with Brooklyn. Without a warning, she stepped forward and gave him a quick hug. “Thank you.”

He stiffened in her arms, then awkwardly patted her back after he was released from the hug. “It’s no big deal. Anything for a friend. Especially a friend that’ll stand up to that bitch.” He cracked a grin, nudging his shoulder against hers.

She laughed, rubbing her eyes quickly. “I didn’t realize you felt that strongly about her.”

“Yes. She’s awful.” Colin nodded. “You are a significant upgrade.”

“What are we upgrading?” Rafe asked as he returned from the bathroom just wearing his boxers slung low on his hips, with damp hair - even though they hadn’t heard the shower running - and his breath smelling of mint.

“Nothing, bud. Good night, you two.” Colin gave them a nod of dismissal and strode back upstairs, leaving the two once he was confident Rafe could stand on his own again.

Rafe reached out, noticing her slightly teary eyes, and affectionately stroked his hand over the top of her head. “You good, angel?”

“Just tired.” She yawned to make a show of it. “Where’d your clothes go?”

“Oh. Uh…” He glanced back to the bathroom. “I was gonna shower, but that was too much work, so I just got my hair wet.”

“...Right. Okay, bud, you need sleep.” Sophie ushered him into his room and onto the bed, then changed quickly into a spare pair of pajamas she’d left behind. When she returned to the bed and slipped under the covers next to him, he rolled over to face her, concern written all over his face.

“You’re upset.”

“Not at you.”

“But you’re still upset. Talk to me?” He stroked his thumb over her cheekbone tenderly, unsure what was going on - and honestly, the room would spin a little if he shut his eyes - but he was still conscious enough to pick up on Sophie’s feelings.

She nodded, rolling onto her back so she didn’t have to make eye contact. “It’s just - it makes me so fucking mad that you dated her. Not because of anything you did, but I just know you deserve so much better. And then she just still thinks she has any influence on you, she’s so damn condescending - ugh.” She rolled back over, frowning. “If we ever broke up I don’t think I’d ever be able to see you again.”

“You wouldn’t see me anymore?” He frowned, trying to keep up.

“No. It would hurt too much. That’s how I know she damn well didn’t love you like she should have.” She insisted, eyes bright again as she ranted. “She fucked up by letting you go, you’re a fucking catch, Rafe. I’m sorry she didn’t realize your worth.”

He blushed and pulled her close, nudging his nose against hers before kissing her. “You wanna repeat that again tomorrow when I’m sober? So I make sure I remember?” He had a joking tone, but seemed a little unsure too.

“Absolutely. I’ll tell you that every damn day if I need to.” She kissed him back, heatedly, as if to emphasize her point. “I love you. You’re mine and I love you.”

“M’ yours.” He confirmed with a sleepy nod, not nearly reciprocating the kiss as hard as hers. “My favorite girl.”

She pulled away, peppering kisses over his nose and cheeks before resting her head on his chest. “Good night, baby. Don’t you dare throw up in bed.”

He laughed as he wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes. “I won’t. Sweet dreams, Soph.”

taglist: @drewstarkey @lemur46 @jjmaybanksbaby @edgeofgr8 @quxxnxfhxll @obxtess @hoodpankow @vtgirl802 @outerbankies @messagesinthesky @nicolecarsley @svechnikolan @ilovejjmaybank @obxtess @abbyj1822 @oopsiedoopsie23 @g4bster @jjmaybankzz @freddymaybank @dontjinx-it @illbesafeforyou @moniamaybank @tovvaa @jailcalledlife @sunshineitsfine44 @randomficsandshit @outerbankspreferences @outerbanksbro @karsinner @kkmaybank @whoeveniskendall @lemur46

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfic #outer banks fanfic #outer banks #obx #obx fanfic #rafe x sophie #mine #college rafe #frat rafe

[heoneyology]

The sweep of rough fingertips start from your bottom lip, dragging down your chin, the side of your neck, down your back, till it rests around your waist, pulling you back into his chest and your back arches, unable to think straight as Jooheon plants kisses as light as the flutter of butterfly wings at the nape of your neck, burns the skin there with the heat of his mouth until he reaches your lips, dark eyes burning as he traces their outline with the tip of his finger. -guess who 🖤

#oh this one hit kind of hard like #soft kind of hard oh my god??? #kisses and butterflies and nECK kisses oh my god akldlkjfsdf and that subtle uhhh stART- #that softly punched me in the gut #i'm Big Panic right now #i dON'T KNOW WHO WHO IS THIS WHO WROTE THIS I'M ABD AT GUESSING #wAS THIS JENI??? #I'M BIG PANIC AAAAAH #jooheon #💌 jooheon #fic rec: jooheon #🖤 anon

[theimpossiblescheme]

I'm a touch late, but after reading the previous prompt you wrote, I was hankering for some more platonic/familial bonds, and was wondering you could do 6. with more of Mungojerrie and his moms <3

Ever since he was a small kitten, Mungojerrie always had a shaggy lock of hair—Jellylorum believed humans referred to it as a cowlick—hanging into his eyes.  It was a shame to cover such pretty blue eyes, but her best efforts at grooming it back and even Jenyanydots attacking it with a wet nail brush never tamed it.  So they let it go.  Every year it grew longer, and every evening when he came home from playing with his little cousins or following Etcetera around so she wouldn’t toddle straight into the street, his fur would be caked with mud and grass and all manner of human foodstuff, and Jelly would watch smiling as her mate cleaned him up.

“You’re going to have to learn to do this yourself one day,” Jeny chided him one night, drying her paws against her owner’s tea towel and smoothing back the fur around Jerrie’s ears. “We won’t always be around to give you a bath whenever you make a mess.”

Jerrie didn’t say a word—he just pouted even as he sat back against her knees.

He’d been so tiny then, barely reaching Jeny’s knee even when he sat up tall.  Before the late-night heists with Rumpleteazer, before the constant sneaking out even without a pillowcase over his shoulder, before the mud and grass became mixed with mysterious cuts and bruises… he’d been such a happy kitten.  So cheerful and adventurous, even if it gave his mothers headaches at times.  Of course kittens grew up and started to long for more freedom and chafe against their parents’ hovering, Jelly had expected that… she only wished she could have delayed it a bit.  Spent more time combing his fur, cuddling him during loud thunderstorms, carrying him around in her arms before he got too big for it.  It was silly, obviously, but she was allowed to be a bit silly at her age.

There were times when she looked down at this gangly young tomcat with the shaggier fur and pencil-thin scars running parallel to his stripes, and her heart strained against her ribcage.  When had he gotten so thin, so tall?  Where did all those scars come from?  Where did he go now, when he and Teazer slipped over the back wall of the Junkyard, knowing they were safe here and they didn’t need to venture out anymore? Where did all that energy come from when he barely seemed to sleep anymore?

Where had she and Jeny been all that time?  She’d missed so much… she hadn’t even gotten to see her boy come of age before Macavity had snatched him up.  That wasn’t freedom.  And it was no way to grow up.  If only they had Mistoffelees’s powers or even Old Deuteronomy’s—they could cast a shield around him to make sure those scars healed before he got new ones and make sure no cats with ill intent could even breathe in Jerrie’s direction.

This time, Jerrie seemed to sense her worries, and he looked up from his energetic chat with the kitchen mice to look up at her.  He had a den of his own now in the Junkyard, as did Jelly, but some nights they all huddled together in the warmth of Jeny’s house near the churchyard and ignored the world outside.  “You okay, Mum?”

Jelly allowed herself a moment’s pang of wondering when his voice had gotten so deep as well, but after a moment she smiled and combed her claws up through his fur.  Even after all this time, that cowlick was still there, even if it had grown into a fluffy curtain of bangs. Underneath it, his eyes were still bright and joyful, and it was enough to replace that pang with a swell of something warmer and stronger.

“I’m all right.”

Credit to @0zzysaurus for the art inspiration of Mungojerrie with bangs!

#asked and answered #ride-a-dromedary #cats the musical #mungojerrie #jellylorum #jenyanydots #Fluffy Kitten Mungojerrie but make it bittersweet--sounds like something I can do. <3

[bluebeatlesgirls]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATTI HANSEN

"My favorite model was always Patti Hansen. I had read an article about her in Mademoiselle a long time ago, when the healthy-blonde- model look was in. She told how she was happiest staying home, stuffing her face with pizza. I totally related to that" -Jeny Howorth

"So I caught sight of Patti again, and she caught sight of me catching sight of her. And she left. And a few days later I called her and we got together. I wrote in my notebook in January 1980, a few days after that: Incredibly I've found a woman. A miracle! I've pussy at the snap of a finger but I've met a woman! Unbelievably she is the most beautiful ( physically ) specimen in the WORLD. But that ain't it! It certainly elps but it's her mind, her joy of life and ( wonders ) she thinks this battered junkie is the guy she loves. I'm over the moon and peeing in my pants. She loves soul music and reggae, in fact everything. I make her tapes of music which is almost as good as being with her. I send them like love letters I'm kicking 40 and besotted." -Keith Richards, " Life "

March 17th, 1956. 65 years ago

#happy birthday #❤ #patti hansen #jeny howorth #keith richards #keith x patti #70s #80s #90s #queen #rocknroll #love #beautiful #fashion #style #model #march #1956

[twiststreet]

I watch Sam Seder's Youtube channel, and one day he explained why he never liked Jon Stewart, and I think it boiled down to three points. 1. Jon Stewart was against anger in politics, whether it was on the right or left, and never bothered evaluating whether anger was justified. 2. He has often advocated a coming together, Joe Biden-style, despite various circumstances and personalities. 3. He hid behind the "it's just comedy" excuse, which is literally what every far right person does now.

Well, 1's tricky because we've seen the media try to perform “liberal anger”, and it's like they'd put Keith Olbermann on TV and he'd just get on camera like McGruff the Crime Dog whenever a Republican was president, and just be like "Sir, have you no shame at all, sir?" Ben Affleck's impression, which was crazy dead-on, one of their great impressions.

Or especially during the Trump years, where guys would be like "He's insulting our proud CIA boys, sir." What? Or there that was one guy who was like, "I've used gatling guns in small villages in Iraq, sir, and they belong there, not near our precious Jeni's Ice Cream stores-- get them nearer to brown people, sir."

And then when you clear away the anger, what are they arguing for? I know what Republican anger means because I know what they want to create-- I'm scared of it, but I know what that horrorscape is. What does the Democratic party stand for, that they're angry about being denied? *shrug* Democrats ran on "we need to be nice to Muslim people so we can convince them to tattle on their many terrorist brothers and sisters" in 2016. Hillary Clinton said some weird-ass shit at those debates she lost, and people were like "yeah, well, she has hot sauce in her purse, though. Pokemon Go to the polls everybody!"

Seeing those people angry is uninteresting because at some point you know they're about to go full Garrison Keillor and be like "you little poors living in a giant peach, you will all suffer while we stay in our gated communities listening to the cast album for Starlight Express." Keillor wrote a whole op ed like that.

Stewart not being some shrieking loon was to his credit. Jon Oliver lost me entirely when he was started doing his little "I'm going to take down Drumpf while I stare in shock at the camera" bullshit. Performative anger is just more TV-- the Crossfire-ification of media/discourse that Stewart spoke out against-- that was probably the correct critique. I'm embarrassed by Stewart now, I find him just an embarrassing kind-of-sad figure now (he was out, he got out... and couldn't just stay out, even with money, family, etc.)-- but I'd take him 1000000000 times over than Jimmy Dore, and his little "I'm so angry" schtick. I think Dore's vomitous.

2, I'm much, much more sympatico with. 3, I'm not moved by. But Stewart is just deferential to celebrity-- from entertainment, from politics, from wherever. (Kissed Denis Leary’s ass constantly-- Leary’s a joke thief.  That offended me back then).  The constant American deference to and worship of celebrity is more concerning to me than a comedian wanting to be known as a comedian, or whatever.

(Like, I saw a bunch of losers blathering on about the Oscars-- Josh Brolin was bitching about who got nominated and who didn't-- and then they asked Seth Rogen, proud Canadian, and he was like "I don't think people care what awards we give ourselves."  Even that little clarity feels rare to me, but maybe I look at the wrong crowds). Anyways...

#bored out of my skull #comedy nerdery

[redrabbitspod]

This is in no way meant to be rude or disrespectful and I am fully aware that you can do whatever you please but I feel like Neil is getting so out of character. He clearly started to develop more of an own personality but he definitely has been through so much and he is just so..cheery and happy and clingy all the time(which if you’re like that is in no way wrong or bad) and now he reminds me so much of Nicky in AFTG. It’s really hard for me to still see Neil.

OOC: This is very long, and while we think everything leading up to it is super important to our thought process (and yes this is something we’ve thought about) the bit in bold is the heart of the point we try to make. (Please read the whole thing though!)

Hey, I’m actually really happy that you sent this in because I’ve been wanting to talk about it. I know that there’s a post going around that we both wholeheartedly agree with about Neil reaching far past ooc and becoming very ‘fem’. Jeni and I had a really long talk about this because we were worried that our Neil would be perceived or mistaken to fit in that trope. And while I think your concern is EXTREMELY valid (note: people can write the characters however they want. It’s fanfiction, they can do as they please, like you said, we just did not want to go that direction), I have a few points as to why I disagree. 

On surface I definitely get that. Idk if you’ve read the entirety of RRP, but I know for those of you that just read the asks (Im sure there are a lot), it DEFINITELY seems that way. But we went into RRP right off the bat letting people know that these characters will fundamentally be different. In Andrew’s case, we know he’s extremely soft now and we bring that up a LOT in the fic. Both himself acknowledging it and all the other characters around him. But we went in knowing he was going to be very different from canon - mainly because we took out the plotline that he was ever put on meds. In Wish You Were Here, the story we are writing post-season 2, we will be mentioning that and how we twisted it. Because in canon, that shaped his entire character. The medication changed the physiology of his brain and we hated the fact that something so abhorrent was forced upon him by the courts that we didn’t do it. And as a result, Andrew’s character is completely different because he’s able to tap into emotions that were blocked in canon. He’s able to grow in ways that he was not able to before and besides the fact that this is set a good while after college and especially his sophomore year that we saw in canon, he was going to change. We definitely know that them admitting that they love each other, making strides in their relationship both physical and mental, opening up, expressing, for his character may seem extremely ooc for some, but we had to take into account what would’ve happened if we took the thing that shaped his character in canon away. I hope we’ve done him justice. 

Now onto Neil. Neil we work over a LOT. And when Jeni brought this up to me because of the post, there were glaring things in my mind that automatically said no. This doesnt apply to our Neil even though to some it may seem that way. Here’s what we’ve done at least very consciously to make sure that our Neil holds integrity to his canon character, that he holds merit and a backbone to back up how he’s grown throughout our series. 

From day one, we knew that they knew each other. We knew that an event from the past not only shaped how Andrew approaches life, but how Neil does as well. Childish sentiment and nostalgia kept Neil in Arizona for so long, which we imply throughout season 1 and start the ball rolling in the first chapter. For the both of them, they held onto the boy they met at the Grand Canyon through everything they’d been through. When shit got tough, it was each other they thought of. And on some wild whim, Neil hoped one day Andrew would walk through the Book Nook’s doors and he’d see him again. Not because Neil had a crush, because he didn’t. But because Andrew was the embodiment of strength for him. 

New York was really important to us. Neil standing his ground and letting Andrew know exactly what he’d done to him, was what the entirety of Season 1 and EVEN season 2 culminated and came back to. Neil being able to say no, fuck you asshole, and always express exactly how he was feeling, was so vitally important to us. ESPECIALLY when it came to Andrew. Those few weeks of New York we wanted to build a bridge if you will. Andrew’s intentions were always genuine and well-meaning and Neil knew that, but survival instincts and what’s been ingrained in him stuck. They started to have a little give when he came to realize that he felt something for the man before him. But he never lost that fight for himself. That HE has to ALSO be okay. And I think we see a lot in that trope of Neil that he loses the fight, the backbone, the integrity that makes his canon character so compelling (even if he is a martyr). 

One thing we worried people would misinterpret was how fast we pushed their characters together. We definitely get that. In our world we didnt really have the luxury of really stretching it out like some may have, just because we were working with real-time. And honestly? As we wrote, the drive to push them together because they were so connected and intertwined just fell genuinely and organically. For us, it only made sense and not because of canon, but because of the story we’d written already. It made sense to us for Andrew to be the one to hold himself back and Neil be the one reaching out - Neil be the one exploring and beginning to recognize what want and really, agency over himself AND his wants, was. Neil was the one to ask for their first kiss here, Neil was the one to initiate them all afterwards, Neil was the one that asked Andrew to touch him, Neil was the one that asked what they were in Arizona, Neil was the one to bring up sex. And in return, Andrew was peeling away layers of himself, feeling accepted, and wanted, and understood in ways he’d never been before. And honestly? Feeling honored that they were both experiencing emotions in ways that they both never felt before. We see their relationship has an equal give and take, a push and pull. And I’m saying all of this because it’s honestly and truly really important for why we’ve made Neil’s character the way that he is. 

Going into season 2, we knew that happiness could not last long. They both had things to sort out, they both had hurdles to hop over, bridges to cross, whole fucking oceans to swim. Before season 2 started, before we had anything written or really even solidly planned, we knew they had to break up. Jeni even had the scene written back in either july or august. We knew that in order to continue trying to give integrity to their characters and relationship, how far they’d grown but also that growth is not a linear path, we needed to break them up. And in the lead up to that, we made sure that Neil was not only looking out for Andrew or trying to, but that he was looking out for HIMSELF. Unlike in canon, he didnt automatically have the foxes - not in his head at least. Of course he knew he had a home there, he knew that he had friends, but they weren’t like canon because he didnt grow WITH them like he did in canon. In his mind, he really only had Andrew and if there was no Andrew, why stay? And when their fight happened we made sure that Neil had value enough in himself, care for himself, love for himself AND for Andrew that they couldn’t let this go on any longer. Neil left because he knew he deserved better. He knew Andrew needed help and he couldn’t provide it. And he held onto that. In fact, Andrew even held onto it himself: 

“Is there no hope, then?” Andrew asked, unable to help himself.

Neil sighed and Andrew was grateful that he at least didn’t pretend that he didn’t know what Andrew meant.

“I don’t know, Dr- Andrew.” Was it possible for his chest to hurt even more? He wanted to curl in on himself, but settled instead for clenching the sharp corners of the pack of cigarettes in his pocket into the palm of his hand. He watched as Neil bit the inside of his lip and that little indent appeared. Maybe he feels it, too . “Part of me wants to say fuck it all and let’s just go home. I hate this... But I hate what you’ve been putting me through these last couple of weeks even more. I can’t do that again,” he stopped talking once more and inhaled a shuddering breath. “You broke my heart, Andrew. I know I sound dramatic and stupid, but I don’t know how else to say it and - I don’t know how to do this, for fucks sake.” He finally turned to him, but the eye contact was brief and before it was even there, it was gone. “I came into this knowing nothing about relationships and I know even less about breakups. I don’t know how to navigate this.”

“You think I do?” Andrew asked. He didn’t mean  for it to sound so bitter, but there it was.

“I don’t know with you,” Neil shrugged. “I feel like you keep everything so close to your chest, that there are whole sections of you I’m missing. And listen, I don’t blame you. You should be able to choose what you want to share. But I can’t help that it makes things hard when you’re falling apart and I don’t know why...”

Andrew let go of the box and put both of his hands in his lap. Grinding his teeth together, he heard the beginning hum of Bee’s buzz , but took a deep breath to try and keep her at bay. Clearing his throat, he looked back to the stadium and that stupid orange fox paw, before he murmured, “What if I offer you a piece?” - suddenly and quickly said, it was as if his mouth was trying to outrun his mind, despite the second he took to contain it. He’d known this would eventually come - that he would have to do this. And besides, Neil deserved an explanation, even if they never got back together.

“Andrew-”

“I’m not offering with hopes that we’ll get back together right now, Neil. I’m working through shit the best I can. Therapy is helping, but I know it’s a process. I just know you deserve an explanation. And I haven’t wanted to tell you because it’s fucking horrific, but I was also afraid that it would send me even further down the spiral if I talked about it. Now that I have a space to vent through, I don’t think I’m so afraid of the fall.”

This part was so important to us for both Andrew and Neil’s character. And in the entire build up to the break up and directly after, Neil held onto the fact that they needed to talk. He kept bringing it up. Because he knew that if they didn’t it would escalate just like it did before. 

“I wouldn’t risk being with you again if I didn’t think things would be different. I’m not better and to be honest? I probably wont ever be better. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with my shit by myself because that’s just how it was. I’ve avoided relationships because I never trusted anyone with my baggage and I didn’t think it’d be fair to pile it on someone anyway. So when it comes to talking about shit - I’m not used to that. Bee was the only person I’d ever told everything to, and she doesn’t even know all of it.”

“I know that,” Neil said, leaning forward as if to show Andrew how much he actually understood. If that was the case, Andrew believed him. “I know you, Andrew. I would never force you to talk about something you don’t want to. That’s not what I’m trying to do. But , I need you to work with me, and if not me, someone else. Don’t take it out on me when you’re going through shit that neither of us can control. It’s not fair and it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong and I can’t fix it.”

Now. Now we’re up to your points. I promise all of this was important for me to explain, because I know there’s literally SO MUCH that we’ve written, that shit happening now can get in the way of everything that’s happened before to lead up to this. 

We fully recognize that Neil is definitely happy. But he’s not happy-go-lucky and we tried really hard to make sure he didn’t lose his integrity - his backbone - the things that made Neil, Neil. 

Something I realized throughout this series was that I was getting worried that the focus of season 2 was so heavily on Andrew. I was seriously worried about that. But then I realized that Season 1 was focused solely on Neil. Season 1, Neil was a fucking wreck. It was Matt AND Andrew comforting him, Matt and Andrew bringing him down, Matt and Andrew trying to protect him, take care of him, find him, search for him, all of that. But even through Neil’s horrific anxiety and all the bad shit that happened, it was still Neil that pushed himself up from the ground, pulled Lola back, and gave Andrew the in. It was Neil that fought with the doctors and nurses to see Andrew and make sure he was okay. Even still afterward though, it was Neil discovering and Neil understanding and a lot of Neil, Neil, Neil. 

Season 2 is heavily focused on Andrew. We’ve already seen Neil’s story and his growth. Its Andrew’s turn to try and again, build his bridge to getting better. But with that, it was Neil that made the strides to speak and handle Ichirou, it was Neil that figured out things with his uncle, it was Neil that ultimately had the gun, brought Andrew for practice - took it out and demanded Andrew get behind him this time. It was Neil that looked Andrew in the eyes as the cops patted them down and desperately tried to tether them together.  It was Neil that kept reassuring Andrew they were going home. It was Neil that snapped the moment the cop tried to put his hands on Andrew to show them where their things were when they left the prescient, and ANDREW that allowed himself to be pulled into Neil’s arms in that moment, because he knew that he was the one thing that was SAFE. It was Neil that held Andrew that night and Andrew that LET himself be held as he broke down. 

That was one chapter ago. And we really tried to illustrate at the end that they have a life ahead of them now. They have a future - a future that is spread out and it’s bright and full of possibilities. They have a future where they can do what they want. They have a FAMILY. They have nieces, Aaron, Kate, Bee, the entire TFN team. Neil had nothing and now he has something. He has hope. 

Promise Im coming down to the end omfg. This is why our Authors and End Notes are so fucking long i swear to fucking god. 

This BTP chapter, we wanted to explore that fucking unbridled happiness. That elation of fuck - we have the world out in front of us. We don’t have any killers on our backs, Hailey is safe, Robin is safe, Jean is out, the Moriyama’s are taken care of, Stuart isn’t begging Neil to join the Hatford Branch, Aaron and Kate might be moving back to South Carolina, they’re married and all of that isn’t terrifying. It’s COMFORTING. So yes, this BTP chapter was bright and cheery. Neil was most certainly happy and showing it. Jumping on the bed, kisses all around, getting excited over ZOO BABIES and a ZOO CHOO train. But just because we show this side of him where he gets to go on a road trip and experience real and true fucking freedom for the first time, doesn’t mean that we’re all of a sudden shedding everything that we’ve built for his character. I don’t think that’s what you meant, but I mean it when I say we take the characters, the integrity of the characters, very, very seriously. Also in this chapter, Neil takes a homophobic asshole to task and not in the way that a lot of people do, but by quietly hinting at the threat because Neil doesn’t need bells and whistles. In fact, he even talked about how being happy was something his mother frowned upon: 

Because the way he looked at Neil when a butterfly landed on his finger or when he snuggled up to a goat in the petting zoo let Neil know that Andrew was happy. And he was happy.  That was something Neil never really had in his life. His mother didn’t care if he was happy, only that he was alive . In fact, the less happy he was, the fucking better. By her logic, he was less likely to go rogue if he didn't feel like there was something to be happy about outside of her. 

Neil’s finally had a moment to enjoy and let go and we know exactly how that can come off, but we have an entire future planned for them and the book they’re about to explore. Spoiler Alert: It won’t be all “butterflies and rainbows”. But all of this does not mean that all of a sudden we’re giving in to tropes and changing his character entirely because of one chapter. RRP and it’s characters mean too much to us. 

So I definitely get where you’re coming from and I’m so fucking sorry this is so long omfg. And I respect your view because we definitely worried that people would see them like that. But we have a reason for almost everything we do in this fic and really, we just wanted to see the boys happy here. We don’t believe he’s like Nicky and we don’t believe he’s clingy, but everyone interprets these characters differently, and you’re certainly entitled to that opinion. We hope this just makes our thought process on Neil’s development a little clearer. - The Creators

#Anonymous #red rabbits pod #ooc #rr answers 2