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leeknowsnot · 8 months

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promises are meant to be broken, hearts are meant to be kept (i.n x reader)

genre: angst

warnings: slight mention of gaining a few pounds

sorry for the inactivity! i was really busy with irl stuff. plus, i've been applying in so much coffee shops just to get a part-time job, i can't even count how many anymore tbh

anyway, here's an i.n x reader to make up for the lost time.

pt. 2

"Do you even care about me?"

Your voice was like thin air. Entering his left ear and then slipping out through the other. You and Jeong In had been arguing for the past 20 minutes. About what? About him missing a date. Honestly, why were you even surprised? If not most of the time, he would sometimes forget that you two had something planned for the day. You would always get texts from him, saying he'd be out with the boys or just doing something, oblivious to the fact that he had kept you waiting for almost an hour or more at that fancy restaurant you two have been checking out the week prior.

It was getting tiring. And to top it all off, he even said he'd make it up to you so he promised to take you out to dinner tonight. Heck, you even put on that pretty dress you bought from last month, squeezing yourself in it, realizing that you've gained quite a few pounds after dejectingly looking at the mirror but managed to not look weird anyway—only for him to arrive home three hours later; sleepy, tired, irritated.

Well if he was tired, you were exhausted. If he was irritated, you were angry. It was the worst combination. Your anger wasn't the best sight for Jeong In right now, and Jeong In just shrugging off your concern as if it wasn't as big deal wasn't exactly the best response either.

So you stood there, hands on your waist as you gave him an expression of disbelief. He was rubbing his face with his palms, a tad bit closer to raising his voice at you but chose to exasperatedly sigh instead.

You let out a scoff, "Really, Jeong In?"

"What?" you could swear there was a hint of snap from his voice.

"I can't believe that out of us both, you had the right to sigh. Who's the one who keeps on getting stood out again?" you rolled your eyes at him, your eyebrows furrowing all throughout your whole sentence. It was now his turn to look at you in disbelief.

"Y/N please. I just got home from work and I'm really tired and stressed... It's not my fault that my boss made me stay for some over time," he defended. "It's not like I could say no anyway."

It irked you. You loved Jeong In so much you would move heaven and Earth for him, but God, it felt like his mere presence irritated you so much right now. His voice, his audacity, his reasoning.

It took you a bit of time clenching your knuckles, fighting the urge to just break down into tears and cry in front of him. "You're failing to see the point here, Jeong In! It's not just about today! You keep on making promises you can't keep. And you apologize, over and over and over and over again, it's so tiring!"

"Well, you'd rather I tell my boss no just so I could show up and possibly lose my job?"

At this point, his voice was starting to raise, making you flinch a bit. "You're being overly dramatic and selfish right now, Y/N."

That was it. That was the last straw.

You just stood there, silently as you bore your eyes into him. When you said nothing back, Jeong In realized he went too far. You tried to blink the tears away and you inhaled, your breath shaking as you exhaled. The look of disappointment you gave him made his heart clench.

He was stressed, you were stressed. Words have been thrown without any much though. And now, both of you have hurt each other.

"...I'm leaving," you whisper under your breath, hoping it came out as quiet as you wanted it to so Jeong In would barely hear. But he did hear it, and it broke his heart hearing you say those two words. Both of you knew this was something that you were saying out of emotion but he didn't want to risk the chances of you actually walking out the door and never returning again.

Jeong In stood from the bed, making his way to you. He tried to reach out for your hand but you avoided his touch. "Y/N, please..."

You could sense the immediate regret and guilt at his voice and it made you hurt more. But right now, it was too much. You turned your head away from him. You didn't want to look at him in the face. Because if you did, you know you'd throw out all reason aside and just give in and forget all the pain the both of you have caused each other. You loved Jeong In that much.

But you also hoped that Jeong In loved you as much too.

So you sighed and walked out the door, leaving Jeong In standing there, wanting nothing more than to take back his words as he was now left along with his thoughts. He was wrong, he was the one being selfish. And now, he couldn't even chase you out through the door because fatigue started to take over his body.

He didn't want to be tired. Of work, of everything. Of you. Especially you.

tag form will be up soon! like and reblog if you like it~

#skz #stray kids #skz fanfic #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #yang jeongin #skz angst #stray kids angst #i.n skz #i.n stray kids #i.n #i.n x reader #i.n angst #yang jeongin x reader #yang jeongin imagines

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fullyinconsequential · 11 months

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Here’s a 3am Steddie rant I think every Steddie lover (and possibly hater) should hear. I have no goal to convert anyone—just to say that the ship did not actually “come from nothing.” Here’s why:

I don’t understand how there wasn’t Steddie foresight in the writer’s room.

So they play it up in season 3 like Steve just can’t get the girl and when he does she’s not the right girl and yada yada yada—cool beans. I love his character arc with Robin, their friendship, her queerness. I love their entire bathroom interaction.

Specifically: “It’s somebody that I didn’t even talk to in school. Maybe cuz Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be prom king…. First of all, she’s hilarious. So funny. I feel like this summer I have laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time. And she’s smart—way smarter than me…. She’s honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.”

Traits Robin Also Has that Eddie Shares:

Outcast

Band Kid

The Witty Banter

Eddie’s personality is VERY Robin. Not perfectly so, but maddeningly close.

Another point:

This is just the same person in different gender specific fonts, A.K.A. Steve’s “love interest” versus a guy who called him “big boy” completely unprompted and interrupted a tender moment between him and his “love interest” and complimented him for an entire scene while Steve wore his clothes.

So, really, one of them’s Steve’s love interest and the other is Nancy Wheeler /hj.

I write a lot, and as someone who both writes and consumes an abhorrent amount of media, whoever wrote this down, casted and costumed this way, and allowed for the interactions between Steve and Eddie to be as nuanced as they were (EX: the scene in which Eddie steps forward like he has more to say to Steve before he goes off and kills himself) had to have known what was going to happen. There is simply no way of not seeing it.

And if they didn’t want people shipping Steddie at the scale which they do, here’s what went wrong:

First: defaulting to Steve wanting his ex back is just plain shitty writing. It means you don’t know where to go with the character anymore, and since you’re certain he’s done all the growing he can do, he’s just gonna double back to the conflict he was in in the FIRST SEASON.

Are you serious right now, bro?

Steve’s arc as a character has been absolutely heartwarming to watch. If anything, he’d have been better off given the “I need to figure out how to be happy on my own” narrative. Throwing him back at Nancy is a cop out, a big one.

Second: Eddie. Throwing Eddie in the mix was absolutely a WILD decision, because he looks like Nancy, he banters like Robin, and GENDER IS NO LONGER A PLAUSIBLE REASON FOR AN AUDIENCE TO DENY CHEMISTRY, OR EXPLAIN IT AWAY. Not in the year of our lord 2023, no sir. Not unless you’re going to explicitly state in some way to an audience that these characters are DEFINITIVELY STRAIGHT. And with Eddie, they went as far off that course as possible.

The outcast stuff. The D&D stuff. The hatred of the system. The mysteriously living with his uncle and not his parents. THE HANKERCHIEF IN HIS BACK POCKET.

So essentially, this is what they did:

They took a beloved character, flubbed over his character arc because they weren’t sure what to do with it.

Then, they created a SECOND beloved character, made him likable, lovable, even, and relatable. Then they gave him half and half personality and looks of Steve’s last two love interests. Then they gave us scenes of them together where they showed chemistry, genuineness, and playfulness.

Then they EXPECTED that we as an audience had enough heteronormativity left as a society to say—oh, those two guys aren’t flirting with each other even a little bit because they’re two guys and obviously that doesn’t happen.

WHEN IN THE SAME SEASON WE WATCHED WILL AND ROBIN GO GAY PANIC AND DESPAIR LIKE?????

Pick a side pick a side, are your characters fucking gay or is your audience fucking blind?

Point being, I have some friends IRL who don’t really get this. They think Steve and Eddie hardly interacted enough for there to be romance at all, but I think it’s less about how much they interacted and more about the (unintentional) set up they were given by the writers.

Steve’s a truly beloved character and I don’t know on ST fan that wants to see him just end up back with Nancy Wheeler like his entire character arc was just to “get the girl” and “have six kids.” Which he already has by the way.

Anyway, that’s just my two cents. I’m not advocating for anyone to ship them, I’m just saying it’s honestly a perfectly logical conclusion to make, especially if you CARE about Steve as a character, you know? We want him to be with someone genuine, someone who challenges him to be better, to be different than he was. Nancy couldn’t handle doing that. Robin could, but they’re platonic af.

So why wouldn’t it be Eddie?

Rest in peace, by the way. You would’ve loved this text post.

#stranger things #steddie #writers #eddie munson #steve harrington #bisexual #gay #lgbtq #stranger things 4 #ultimately I’m just very confused by the writers #their choices seem so deliberate but they can’t possibly be #who instructed Joe to take that step forward?#what was the point of ‘for your modesty dude’#why make Steve’s only character trait needing a girlfriend?#why not make Eddie’s character a girl?#the Lance mcclainification of Steve harrington

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velvetures · 10 months

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May I RQ a reader who is trying to learn their language to help them feel more comfortable, but feels insecure due to them not really being fluent? They mispronounce and misuse the slangs in context, but hopes they can make the boys see the effort they are trying to go through for them.

Lessons In Miscommunication

A/N: Hi doll, I hope you don't mind me using König for this one. I've got a lot of experience with Spanish irl, but that's not super applicable here, haha. To anyone who's German... please forgive me. 🤍 Summary: You're on comms during a mission getting a small lesson in König's language while waiting for your next orders from HQ. Things get complicated, and there's a language and culture barrier that makes things... challenging. T/W: canonical warfare, cursing, non-fluent use of German, flirting, feelings, and some other stuff probably. Not proofread, as always.

To put it simply, you didn't expect just how difficult it would be to learn a new language in your twenties. Sure the science spoke to the provable trouble you would have compared to a much younger version of yourself, but for all meaningful purposes, you really didn't think it would be this nuanced. And while Spanish, French, and other languages were of great importance, there wasn't anyone who could teach you those. The one person around was König, and he spoke German.

When you'd approached the topic nearly eight months ago, he'd been honestly shocked and surprised that you'd come to him in the first place and secondly that you thought he would be a good teacher. He was often thought of as reliable as a Colonel, but giving you suitable enough tutoring in German to be conversational was nothing short of uncharted territory for the pair of you. This made for very interesting moments in and outside of missions as well as a few times where it would've been better if you'd used an online app or something to keep from unintentionally embarrassing yourself.

Posted almost two miles away from the Colonel on a rocky outcropping overlooking a small encampment of a radical terrorist group, you laid on the hillside with a rifle and radio trying to pass the time between now and when you'd get the call to secure the site. The men and women down below were only one small stop-off point for a far larger caravan of armored trucks and a few tanks carrying supplies and weaponry toward the closest city of Almazra. It was a threat that couldn't come to fruition if the buildings and people still living there were to be left standing by the end of the week.

On the other end of the two-mile distance was König and a selected squad of men who were waiting just as impatiently as you were to not only get this mission over with but to get out of the damn desert heat. For security's sake, you knew you should be keeping the airways clear for any kind of information about the insurgent's movements, but König had insisted that this would be a perfect opportunity for you to get some practice in without losing focus of the task at hand. Your job at the moment was to keep eyes on the encampment through the lens of your sniper rifle and report anything that looked to be of importance.

König's definition of what was important could be easily debatable, yet it did ensure that you could make simple connections between real-world objects and the German words or phrases that matched. Whether or not the Colonel realized it or not, both of you had slightly gotten off the target of what you were supposed to be talking about and wandered into the more... personal aspects of things. Specifically just how bad you wanted to be home after nearly a full month away from American soil and your personal home.

"Ich habe für immer Fernweh," Your accent was certainly progressing, at least in the Colonel's mind, but he wasn't quite sure exactly what you meant by that.

"Was meinst du damit? Kannst du es dieses Mal auf Englisch sagen?"

His voice sounded a little confused and more than a tinge humored at the way you'd sounded so... formal. Even diplomatic to a degree. It was one of the more difficult parts of teaching you. Dialects, slang, and even simple English-to-German translations didn't always have a very direct or clear answer. Often it meant that you would say something with full intention and innocent honesty, and König would have to keep himself from chuckling. Most of the men he worked alongside didn't speak for one reason or another, so getting to hear at least one person -especially you- made the near and far miscommunication more than worth the effort.

Looking through your scope at a group of five sitting around a small fire, you sigh a bit, trying to think of how to explain yourself.

"I meant I'm feeling homesick," You mutter a little more quietly than necessary, almost as if saying it in English was broadcasting your secret while German somehow kept it from being found out. "What did you hear me say?"

König chuckled, his laugh vibrating in the speakers of your comm quite nicely. "You said you have wanderlust forever," You could hear him smiling from the other end. "It's okay, sometimes the words don't always mean exactly what you think they do. I had the same problem when I learned English." For a moment he paused, laughing softly again. "I still can't say Squirrel... properly."

"Vielleicht habe ich doch Lust auf etwas..." You mutter a bit frustrated and somewhat skarkily under your breath, making a small jab at wordplay not thinking that König could hear you over the radio or that he'd be more shocked to hear you say such a thing.

The radio stays silent for a long few minutes, almost tricking you into believing that you'd been safe in making your comment under your breath without any audible witnesses. Only on the other end, the Colonel was struggling between the actual meaning behind your words, the way it sounded so damn sexy... and how he was supposed to actually answer you without sounding too affected by something as simple as your voice.

"Se-Sergeant..." His voice sounded a little weak, much in the same way it did when he was in an uncomfortable social situation. "What did you just say?"

Instantly your body tensed up from fingers to toes and you felt a shock of heat roll through you. König heard you. Right away you assumed by the growl in his question that you were going to be in for some kind of punishment. Maybe even a good ass-chewing in front of the rest of the squad for saying something so easily considered lewd and totally unprofessional to utter in the presence of a superior officer. Your best bet was apologizing, and hoping he'd just let it go...

"I'm sorry, I was just frustrated and-"

His voice deepens over the radio, almost like he's got it pressed right up against his mouth. "Say it again." The command felt heavy in your stomach. "Now."

You repeated the phrase, staring through the lens of your scope with bated breath. waiting to hear what the Colonel would say in response. And the last thing you expected was to hear an almost pained sort of growling sound vibrating in your ears. It made you shiver and despite König being almost two miles away, it felt like he was breathing down your neck.

"Du klingst so hübsch, wenn du das sagst..." A noticeable static over the radio took your attention, but when it didn't get worse you had the mental capacity to translate what König said word by word until you had the full sentence running through your head.

The time between his praise and your response was nearly indistinguishable between seconds and years. Had it not been for you watching your targets moving in real-time through your scope, you would've thought the whole world had come to a stuttering halt in anticipation of your response. Yet it seemed that the world still had to do other important things which included bringing the key turning point of this mission right to your front door with the sudden sound of an approaching squad tailing the convoy of insurgents giving information and callouts for how to proceed forward. Of those, orders for König and his men to begin working down the side of the mountain to intercept the meeting of the convoy and the small ground sitting in tents around a high-burning fire.

"Ich werde später herausfinden, wie hübsch man klingen kann, wenn man schmutzige Dinge auf Deutsch sagt." The Colonel's voice growled lowly, almost threatening in a sense.

There was no telling what would happen after the mission ended and there wasn't a threat of being shot or failing to secure Almazra. What you could count on was König finding you and testing out his theory of all the things you could say in his language they may or may not have been provocative - on purpose or not. Something in your body shivered in delightful nervousness and anticipation of just how he planned on getting that kind of information out of you. A couple of ideas swirled in your mind, but the movement of the incoming convoy didn't allow you the luxury of daydreaming about your Colonel or how your mistaken words and German lessons had landed you here.

Comments and Reblogs are Always Helpful <3

#könig #könig x reader #kortac #konig mw2 #konig cod #anon ask #anon answered #anon <3 #velvetures #velvetures writes

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milgramprojectfan · 4 months

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Things I expect to see/want to see in the third trial MVs (lmk if we already know any of these)

Haruka- Literally everything. We need After Pain levels of concrete evidence. We don’t know who the victim even is!! Like both of his MVs are all just vibes and breadcrumbs!

Yuno- Ngl I think she’s good overall, like we know most of the stuff we need to. Maybe we could see why she decided to become a sugar baby, or I saw a theory she threw herself down some stairs as a DIY abortion, so smth like that.

Fuuta- I want to see what the girl did that Fuuta felt he needed to bring justice to. Not that it’d change my verdict, I’m just curious. I also saw a theory that someone was impersonating Fuuta and like doxxed the girl and stuff, so maybe we’ll see that.

Muu- I really want to see what Rei’s deal is. Like I feel like her and Muu’s relationship is a lot deeper than it first seems. Also I expect to see why Muu’s friends switched up on her, cuz I feel like that’s one of the main mysteries with her. (

Shidou- I kinda just want confirmation on whether or not he actually stole organs, cuz like people keep saying it’s confirmed but it’s not 100%. Also what happened to his kids? Why do we see them in Triage and not Throw Down? Are they dead? Also were his wife and kids in a car crash, and that’s what the call in Triage was? I feel like Shidou’s MV are like Haruka’s where they say a lot but also nothing at all

Mahiru- I feel like Mahiru’s story is pretty wrapped up nicely, like Yuno’s. I think maybe we’ll see her boyfriend be confirmed as codependent too, since I’m like 99% sure he was.

Kazui- I honestly just want to see him confirmed as gay. Like we all know he is, but I want to hear the words “I’m gay” come out of Kazui’s mouth. Other than that, I expect to see some more backstory with Hinako (the wife).

Amane- I expect to see more around Amane’s murder , because we assume it’s her mom but it could be someone else. Also we don’t know how she did it, like we see her in her marching get up with a bloody staff, but I doubt she was actually dressed like that irl.

Mikoto- Mikoto’s kinda boring imo, so i want to see how Mikoto was the one who killed that man and John is covering for him. I don’t expect this to happen, but it’d be a unique twist. I expect to see the circumstances surrounding the death, but idk what that’d be.

Kotoko- ok her new MV just came out so I’m kinda don’t know what to expect, but maybe like see what happened to that girl (Lucky I think?). Someone on here said smth like “What if Lucky died and that’s Kotoko’s crime for being in Milgram because she focused too much on punishing perpetrators and not protecting victims”. So yeah.

#milgram #the milgram project #kotoko yuzuriha #amane momose #kazui mukuhara #mahiru shiina #mikoto kayano #muu kusunoki #fuuta kajiyama #haruka sakurai #shidou kirisaki #yuno kashiki #predictions

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an-obsessed-cactus · 28 days

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I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbtq community #queer #queerplatonic #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aromantism #asexuality #omnisexual

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snek-panini · 2 months

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I participated in Renegade Bindery's Binderary challenge this past February, and since it ended about two weeks ago it's probably time for me to start posting photos of the finished books, yeah? I made eleven books this year, many of which were multi-volume sets, and I'm going to start with the one that I had the most trouble with, Jane Austen's Persuasion. This project was nothing but trouble, and honestly every time I look at it I see nothing but its flaws. The cover is Allure book cloth from Hollander's (wisteria color; I bought it for another project last year and had a lot left over) with gold metallic HTV for the title and graphics. The last project I did with these materials was a dream; the cloth took HTV like a champ, better than any other project I'd done, and yet this time with the same roll of cloth and type/brand of HTV I couldn't get it to stick. You can see two spots where it's gone on crooked in the above photo, and below the cut you can see additional problems with the spine:

Yikes. It is peeling. I read the book once and it is peeling. I've never had this problem before; it won't always stick at first, but once I get it to stick it stays that way. Not this time.

Top view, with the endbands I sewed that have their cores visible. Again, not a problem I've had before but was a recurring theme this binderary; several of my Binderary books have it. Also platinum silk moire endpapers that were really hard to photograph and have both a wrinkle and a glue stain. It's my first time working with silk moire and I'm not sure I'm a fan, but three of the other books I made also have it and I didn't have nearly so may issues with them. So I think this book may have just been cursed. It's not pictured but the ribbon bookmark developed some kind of mysterious dark smudge in the middle somewhere between me gluing it in and me taking these photos. I do not know how this happened. The gilding went well though. That I can say.

Couple of images of the typeset. I had to print the title page twice because it came out streaky the first time. I actually really like the typeset, which is what makes the rest of the issues with this bind so frustrating. It's pretty! I did well on that part! I wanted the exterior to be just as pretty and I'm upset that it's not!

Fun fact: Persuasion was actually my least favorite Austen when I first read it. But I was in my early twenties then, and I thought it would be fun to bind myself a pretty copy since I didn't own one, and reread it and maybe have different feelings about it now I'm on the other side of thirty. And I did reread it after binding, and I do like it better, and I'm sad that the exterior parts didn't turn out as well as I had hoped. Half the reason I bind public domain stuff is so I can show off my skills to IRL people who aren't in fandom, and not have to explain what fanfiction is or why it has so many dicks in it, and there were so many issues here that I don't even want to do that.

The good news is that this was the low point of binderary and most of the other books gave me results I like better. I'm still doing titles for a lot of them, so we'll see how fast I can get them done and photographed, but I've definitely got more books in store in the near future.

#bookbinding #snek makes books #it feels weird not to tag a fandom but i don't want to put this in the main book tags #i realize it sounds like i hate what i've done here #i don't hate it i'm just frustrated with myself #and i learned stuff which is an important part of the process #but dangit #the public domain bind from last year came out better than this

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etincelleart · 2 months

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i have no idea who that other person is referring to when they say Dillon is friends with "one of the biggest RWDEs ever"

i think are talking about Shane Newville?, especially with that "came up with Monty's vision" thing (who even if don't like him, calling him a "RWDE" isn't accurate like, at all) i will admit he is... kinda responsible for Monty's vision stuff, but think there is a clear difference between "guy who knew Monty personally getting mad that they cut/altered scenes both him and Monty had actually worked on" and "random rewrite that will never be finished guy number 72 saying that they are saving Monty's vision by making RWBY a sisterhood and giving Yang Z cups!" (the "Monty calling team RWBY a sisterhood" thing has no known source BTW)

also all that stuff about them "making RWBY forgive Ironwood" and them hating the Bees kinda just sounds like them projecting a bunch of other people who have been critical of RWBY onto them, i can't find anything about either Dillon or Shane holding those opinions, if Dillon or Shane have said anything to that effect please correct me and give tangible evidence of them saying so. also if I'm wrong here because "Dillon's RWDE friend" is someone else also correct me and provide evidence.

They're talking about Shane Newville yep.

Honestly I don't think I know enough to talk more about this story, but I agree on the fact there's a difference between "X is the leader of this hate movement" and "a part of the fandom distorted everything X said and decided to use it for their hate speech". This doesn't mean Shane has nothing to do with this "Monty's vision" thing but people used that words to spread hate and that's probably not what he intended to do (at least I hope). And on socials I also agree there's a lot that's being said as old and ancient histories but it's hard to verify the infos. And I think we should all not believe everything other read because just like dramas/ship dramas and all, it's just so easy to believe one info someone told you and just never question it (and I can't believe I'm writing that, but questioning informations IS fundamental no matter if it's online or IRL ? Like really I beg people to stop just believing whatever people tell them online

Also I don't know if you're talking to me about "give tangible evidence", if yes that's not my role and I don't owe my time and researches to anyone, if not and it's a general "you" then yes I agree, provide concrete elements because you're still talking about a human being and if you spread infos without anything to verify them it's hard to believe them.

#rwby #rooster teeth #hate speech #fandom

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thefirstknife · 9 months

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Sorry to dump this rant in your inbox but the community’s attitude this entire season has legit got me tilted to the point I ignore pretty much the entire community outside of tumblr and a few irl friends. A lot of it has been frustrations I’ve had since Lightfall dropped wrt acting like the story was dogshit bc it didn’t give all the answers.

I legit got so fed up with Byf’s whole “oh all this season of the deep lore should have been in Lightfall” stuff bc like. My guy. You were one of the biggest complainers about the seasons having zero lore or story relevance. Fucking pick one or the other. Either seasons are all filled bullshit or you’re gonna get cliffhangered and expected to have some damn patience for storylines to get picked back up over time in the seasons after the main campaign of an expansion is done.

Especially bc like. IMO anyone expecting anything not a cliffhanger from the end of Lightfall when we KNEW The Final Shape was coming after it was just setting themselves up for disappointment, you need big tension and shit like that before the final act and this way getting dripfed answers in the lead up feels less like we’re dicking around doing nothing useful for the entire year as we wait for TFS to drop. It legit felt like being a KH fan back when KH3 dropped who had payed attention and played all the games and knew wasn’t the end of the series, just the conclusion of an arc and anyone mad about the stuff left unfinished was being unreasonable when it was made pretty explicitly clear it would either be answered in the future bc this wasn’t the ending or had been answered ages ago and people just hadn’t bothered to pay attention to it. Lightfall was never going to have all the answers bc it wasn’t the ending, and Bungie has proven they’ll circle back around and answer questions and pick up story beats if you’d just have a little patience! I’ll agree it wasn’t done perfectly and could do with more focus on the Veil and less on Strand but come ON my guy!

Combine that with the general toxicity of non-story focused Destiny YouTubers, especially PvP only typesc about Destiny and the way their fans have behaved and I’m full on not watching Destiny content creators anymore. Genuinely never seen content creators who need to touch grass and maybe just. Take a break. I’m not saying Lightfall was perfect or that Bungie hasn’t fucked up but I’m honestly just. Extremely fucking tired of how the community outside of tumblr has reacted to everything. And I’m especially sick of crybaby crucibros being obnoxious. Much as I don’t actually think it’d be at all good for the game there’s a part of me that thinks the idea of them splitting PvP stuff and PvE stuff into separate Destiny games in the future might have some merit to it purely so those of us who just want to explore and enjoy the story in peace can never bother with them again

Go off, honestly. So true. I've felt the same and I've pretty much not watched any Destiny youtube content in months. I started a few of them, but then stopped because of how utterly annoying and just plain wrong they were. The Lightfall situation is such a shitshow, not because of Bungie or the expansion itself, but because I genuinely believe that Destiny is above the reading level of most gamers.

Obviously, I still have some issues with how some stuff was handled, just as you do. Literally nobody is saying that everything in Lightfall was perfect. And I extend that to all expansions btw. Every expansion had faults. None of them are perfect. I think Lightfall's mysterious storytelling could've been a little bit clearer. And make no mistake, Lightfall WAS clear that nobody knows about the Veil, it just wasn't as clear as it could've been. Nothing would've really changed about the mystery if this was made more obvious earlier on in the campaign.

But dear lord, the bullshit around it is so tiring. I get it. I was confused at first too. I even posted here that I found certain things not as good and that they made me a little annoyed! And like that's fine! Your first impressions are your first impressions. But please move on. Are you seriously deciding everything based on first impressions? Do you never look into things and see if maybe there were things you missed or were wrong about? Like, it's okay to be confused at first and then realise later that you missed things. That's how learning works.

And yeah, the whole "everything should've been in Lightfall's campaign right away" is not only annoying because of the stuff you said, it's also annoying because it ignores that there's too much content to fit inside of a single campaign and also that this content has a theme. The campaign is a self-contained story with a theme and a plot (and the plot is NOT "learn what the Veil is." The plot of Lightfall is "stop Calus and the Witness from destroying Neomuna" which has concluded perfectly well in the campaign). Post-campaign stuff, the Witness cutscene and the Veil Logs are all things that don't fit thematically with the high action 80s movie story about protecting a city from destruction. These things were deliberately spread out through the year to give us multiple stories to follow while we wait for TFS. It's a live service game. You're here for the whole year. And it's fine if that's not the storytelling type you like. It's fine! That doesn't mean the story is objectively bad.

But yeah, agreed with what you said. It helps to vent! There's definitely people out there who are in the same situation and who just want to enjoy the game as usual and not having to deal with crybabies who make the whole experience absolutely miserable and make it impossible to engage with anything. Luckily, there's also always people who are still engaging with the game normally. We like the game and we like engaging with the game. And when I stop liking it, I'll just stop engaging with it. I wish other people could do the same.

#destiny 2 #ask #long post #i could go on about the community's treatment of lightfall but for the sake of everyone's sanity let's stop here #agreed with the ask wholeheartedly #there's so much stuff in the community that is just absolutely horrible on so many levels

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iciatheguardess · 3 months

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Hiiii it’s meeee elsie

conflicted Elsie

Look, you know as well as I do that I love TAOCC to freaking death

but like

I may have to partially step away from it after the current arcs are over.

these goofy goobers took over my life for the last three-ish months, and while I’ve had an amazing time, it’s…caused me to neglect other parts of my life, and restrict myself more than I should when it comes to how I am on this site. I’ve stated my intention to try and branch out multiple times but I never go through with it because I just…I have things to write here! I can’t! And yeah it’s fun but sometimes I get hurt even if people don’t mean to, like, I’ve gotten legitimately ill from this once or twice.

But I feel like even trying to step away a bit is somehow abandoning all of you or betraying your trusts. I want to stay friends with you guys, but my actual life and Irlsie has to come first most of the time, because I am not JUST Elsie, if that makes any sense. Elsewhere is and was always meant to be a sona for some interaction, maybe some friendos, but nothing this…involved, because I can’t put all of my social effort onto the internet because no matter what I do, the internet is not a completely genuine place, and I’ve accepted that. There are some parts of my personality I just don’t use. You don’t really ever see calm Elsie or mental illness Elsie or sappy Elsie, maybe once or twice, and that’s intentional. This is Writing Elsie’s blog, lol, but there’s other Elsie that needs to be allowed to exist outside of the internet, and I can’t neglect her or my actual life for the sake of this.

I honestly don’t know what to do here. I love these characters on a very personal level, and have poured my heart into them, and I don’t want to straight up leave them. Even only partially separating myself seems kinda pointless because I know what happens when someone gets really behind on the lore and has to be caught up on even just a day’s events to explain why Character A looks like this now or Character B is referencing this event, etc. etc.

But there’s a point where it’s not healthy anymore. Where things reach a place where I have to admit that this can’t be my entire life anymore. And I’m not entirely sure what on earth I should do about it…

If I do somewhat step back, it’ll probably be right after the vacation arc ends. i’m gonna pour my fluff loving heart and soul into that thing, don’t you worry. But you shouldn’t expect another dungeon or something like that from me unless I have a VERY good reason and a well formulated plan. Yes, I’ll probably still engage in shippery and fluff, as well as analysis, but mostly within the bounds of characters and dynamics we’ve already established, and not much farther than that. My one exception to the “after the vacation arc” rule would probably be Yelena’s arc, because of how long things in that section tend to take, for various reasons. Yelena’s arc is barely started, and stuff takes possibly days to move even a few hours in-universe. Sooooo….yeah, I wanna finish that, I’ve put too much work into it already to just stop it.

…dang this was only supposed to be a paragraph…

…pls halp, I have no idea what to do lol.

Ok. I've read over this a couple times.

First off, I'm talking to you as L here, and not Star. I am very, very proud of you for acknowledging this and understanding that this is getting unhealthy. I think it's very smart that you dont want to neglect your yourself irl and the fact you're saying this, and saying exactly what you'll be doing, I'm really proud of it.

To give you a clear answer, if it's going to help you irl then I think stepping back is smart. Especially from the trauma and angst, because that stuff hurts a LOT and it can be really, really detrimental and negatively affect irl things. What I DONT think is that it's betraying anyone. You need to be able to put yourself and your needs first in order to be your best self, and everyone understands that you can't be on tumblr 24/7 because, well, that's really really really really unhealthy and not good. I'm really glad you're telling me about this though so I, and everyone else who sees this, knows.

TAOCC is really great but there's a LOT of heavy things on here and with everything going on, it can be super weighing and really affect people irl. I can speak from experience because honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I won't speak much about that though. It's definitely addictive and can get really really unhealthy if you let it, and honestly it's not hard to let it.

I want you to do whatever you feel is best for you, no matter what that entails. Fei and Tails and Xeya and Kumo and so many others and I love you so much and do NOT want you neglecting yourself and your life irl for this- it's meant to be entertainment, not a lifestyle.

I think it's smart to finish Yelena's Arc before partially stepping back. And I think it's even smarter to not want to do another dungeon, because that whole thing was a massive angst-fest and I think it negatively affected people more than they care to admit. Shippery and fluff and minor things is a good boundary.

I'll wrap this up now, but again, I'm in full support of this decision because I want you to be at your best. You're right, you're not just Elsie. And it's not fair for you to only be Elsie when you're so much more than that. If stepping away from tumblr will help you take care of the other parts of your life that we aren't involved in or aware of, then please do so because no part of you and your life should be sacrificed for the sake of entertainment.

Again, I'm really, really proud of you for admitting this.

Please know we'll always support you and you're super important to all of us, so don't ever feel bad for putting your needs first. Irl things should always come first.

But no matter what always remember:

WE LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOURE SUPER IMPORTANT AND WE WANT THE BEST FOR YOUUU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Everything I said is applicable for everyone else reading this too. Taocc is fantastic and we love it but it shouldn't completely take over your life. It's okay to take a break or step back fully if it means the best for your health and irl life. Please remember to take care of yourselves- and everything that Elsie talked about here is FANTASTIC self care. It may be hard, but it's also the best decision she can make for herself and may be the best decision for others too.

Alright- I think I covered everything. Don't ever feel like you're betraying us Elsie- it's not betrayal, it's self care. We'll still be here for you, always. Never forget that ❤️❤️❤️

#iceanswers #modstar

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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year

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OOO what about a Dark Fey reader like Maleficent? that was being hunted down by a dangerous group of cryptid hunters, and had a broken wing n wounded by iron bullets but kept running.

And the Creeps found them took em in. and since ferfolk cannot lie,.. caught them off guard with a question on how they felt about that creep 😉

I expect to see Slenderman!👁👁 and another ig👍plz

idk I rarely see Supernatural like readers, it's a little disappointing imo. I love powerful self-inserts ok?

Slenderman with a Fey!S/o

UWAAAA I'm sorry for taking so long to get to this !! I've kinda been sucked up in a bunch of irl stuff !! (Nothing serious, just me working on things)!!

Admittedly I have never watched maleficent; so I'll solely be going off the info given in this ask I hope that's alright ☝️😔 and I apologize in advance if it's no good 😭💔

As you specifically brought up slenderman, he's gonna be our star today!! I was originally going to do the full list of characters but my brain js

A raisin

Also also!! I totally get what you mean ab the shortage of supernatural readers!!! Not just in the creepypasta fandom; but really any fandom! Let the insert have powers, let them be super strong, ect ect !!

You'd stumble into him after trying to hide and take shelter in his woods

Normally, he'd take down any trespassers after stalking them for a bit; but he was just too curious about you to make that the case

I dont know, I always think of slenderman to carry that kind of curiosity about the world and other creatures; I feel like that makes him more interesting than the fandoms standard "stern and oddly fatherly" take... also I just live the idea of curious cryptids!!

Moving on

He'd help patch you up with the resources in the forest; I've seen mixed opinions on whether or not slenderman has weird healing powers but personally; I think he has regen abilities that can only be applied to himself! Unrelated to the ask I know, but a quick little fun aside and little bonding point for him and s/o if they have the same deal going on

As for shelter? I'm personally still on the fence on if I wanna make the manor thing a part of my personal universe and hc that I write for these silly lads; but rn I've settled for a version of it! Not as grand or tidy as the old fandom hyped it up to be; it's a lil smaller and kinda... run down

Still livable, though, and you're more than welcome inside if you need somewhere to stay

Granted, I'm not entirely sure how the topic of romance would be brought up with him, but let's say he picks up on some behavior from you that makes him start putting together a picture

Bro has zero rizz I'm sorry

Regardless, he eventually asks the question; and as the rules go, you're kinda forced to tell him how you feel

I think regardless of if he reciprocates or expected your answer, he'd be surprised

I mean how many people are out here flirting with a forest monster, to their face

I think it could work, honestly! The relationship I mean!! I wish i had more hcs since this is such a fun idea, but I genuinely dont know much about fairy stuff and all the lore regarding them

But onto some more side hcs/little ideas to make up for the lack of stuff !!

If you need comfort, about the whole being hunted thing, slenderman is a good listener; and he understands what it's like, bro probably has to deal with people trying to get a look at him all the time. He gets it

Want revenge on them? Well if the hunters followed you into the woods they probably wont last long anyways; despite the whole curiosity thing he can be... rather territorial

Day to day life with slenderman is interesting as is, but with a fellow non-human companion? Shenanigans will likely ensue

What kind? Cant say, due to my lack of knowledge 😔☝️

Too injured to move around on your own? If you need to go somewhere slenderman will either fetch it for you, or just carry you to where you gotta go

Also he totally wont make it habit; even before the romantic relationship is fully formed

It just activates his neurons 😔

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #slenderman x reader #slenderman imagine #slenderman headcanons #creepypasta slenderman #slenderman

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robs-corner-of-the-internet · 2 months

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Dear friend,

if anyone is out there and reading this then hi! this is my little part of the world where i can talk about the stuff that i cant tell anyone about irl. My name is Rob and im 15 years old. Im anorexic, i also have depression, anxiety and adhd :D Fun ikr?/j. But yeah its a lot to deal w and i just needed somewhere to talk about it all and here we are.

Ive had ana for about 2 years now but ever since i moved to my mom its been good and bad periods. Right now you could say im in a "bad period", just meaning that i dont want to get better. Honestly I wish that i could be normal but i just got a scale and i cant imagine gaining weight and being able to see each kg i gain.. I also just get nauseous when i eat literally anything so i would rather not.

My depression also has good and bad periods and sometimes i just want to give up but i cant bc then i get behind on school work. Ive been feeling like im holding my head just above the water, waiting for someone to help me but no one ever does. That was awfully depressing but it really is true! Ive been getting worse and i even started hurting myself again. some days i get this overwhelming sad feeling and it consumes me until theres nothing i can do but cry, dissociate or hurt myself. The worst part is that this happens in school quite a lot and most times i go non-verbal too. I am just very exhausted and i want this all to be over soon. I wish that life was like a movie so that you could stop it and watch something else once in a while.

There is a lot of bad things to talk about but there is some good too! I have recently gotten into DnD for example. Its very fun but a lot to learn. I am going to be DM for a group of new players while i am as well a new player so its a bit scary. I am very excited about it still! Some of my other interests are reading, writing, listening to music, sleeping, observing, and musical theater/theater. I like mitski, rain, big theif, the cranberries, The perks of being a wallflower, Aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe, Dead poet society, smoking, and going on walks. some things about me are that i go to a waldorf school, i live in sweden, i have a gf (<33), im greyace, i acually have good grades (whatt:0), and basically my whole wardrobe is thrifted!

Anyways, back to the bad-ish stuff! Okay well this isnt all "bad" but i am going to be posting pro-for-me ana stuff cuz i need somewhere to share it all so here is some of that. cgw - 37kg (updated in bio) ugw - 35kg (or just basically as low as possible) lw - 37 cw - 38.3 (updated in bio) cbmi - 15.7 (updated in bio)

So rn im not acually counting my cals bc i feel that its easier to just not eat during the day and then if i really have to ill eat dinner (cuz of my mom). So far its working, i just wish i lived by myself. Everything would be so much easier.

Sorry this was a lot longer than i thought it would be:o Hope you enjoyed hearing a bit about mee and i hope ur having a good day/night<3

//Love always, Rob

#@na #th1n #boy ana #ed behaviour tw #ed meals #ed not ed sheeran #th1n$pø #ed vent #ed relapse #ed not sheeren #actually mentally ill #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #sorry for being depressing

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doukeshi-kun · 3 days

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Hey! I’m not sure if this falls into the “personal questions” category, if so, feel free to ignore this ask, and I’m sorry in advance!

You don’t have to get personal and speak about yourself at all, I’ve just been very clueless lately, about whether or not I might be aromantic. I’d say I’m pretty emotional and I do love, but the how romance is portrayed, and the idea of a “typical” romantic relationship has always seemed so shallow and meaningless to me. And I get second hand embarrassment from other people’s romantic relationships irl and in the media. And I can’t really tell platonic and romantic love apart, to me, romantic love is just love paired with sexual attraction (and sometimes it’s like super cringe too.)

I do crave connection with people who are “more special” to me than just friends, but I just don’t know if I’d call that romance, and I’ve never had a crush either. What would you consider the best way to feel less confused about this feeling of mine?

i'm actually happy to talk about aroace stuff because i know i won't be able to talk about it freely irl lmao. this is a bit long!

aromantic doesn't mean you're 100% not having any sort of romantic attraction towards someone—it generally means having little to no romantic attraction. besides, there are a lot more identities fall under the aromantic umbrella like grayromantic and demiromantic. i suggest you to read more into these identites if you're feeling conflicted and having those 'jumps' in your attraction.

these are all my opinions and experiences 👇 yours might differ bcs each human is unique to their own :)

i don't really want to get too personal here... but like a few years ago, there's this person whom i really wanted to befriend and i'm only ever interested in the idea of becoming his friend. however, people around me were taking my interest as something romantic and started shipping us together into a couple. it icked me so so badly because i knew i would enjoy being his friend but not his partner. i like the thought of being friends and that was it. that is all. no romantic relationship or anything. i have no desire to do romantic things with him, i have no desire to evolve the friendship or anything, i don't even like him romantically.

for me, that was my discovery of platonic attraction. i knew i wanted to form a friendship, and that was it. nothing more. i think the biggest sign that i feel stromgly that i'm aro is that i don't remember having a crush and i don't feel the need to pursue a relationship with someone else. like once someone started to make flirty comment on me irl, i'm repulsed by it.

i honestly don't know how exactly to describe romance or romantic feelings, mainly because i only perceive romance through medias and not through myself. i become sure i don't feel romantic attraction because i know how it feels to have platonic attraction and aesthetic attraction. i just don't know how it feels to have romantic attraction because well, i don't experience that, how would i know tsksgdjsjs💀

a lot of my friends are in relationships and when i listen to their experiences of anything like that, i could not relate at all. sometimes i'm like "why and how do you guys feel that way" or like "do you HAVE to be in a relationship with them? is it even necessary? is there any difference between being their friends and partner?"

there are more varieties of relationships that could be formed with someone whom you regard as "more special". romantic relationship isn't the only relationship —there are queerplatonic relationship as well. for me, relationship is basically having your intimate needs to be met lol

i really understand the confusion and the feeling of alienation when facing a romantic relationship irl. we're stuck in a world where everyone is into someone and someone is into everyone. the best way that i could think of to deal with this confusion is for you to figure out what kind of attraction you're feeling towards someone you happen to be interested with, be it for any reason really—because at least you can be certain about how some attractions feel like.

#道化師-says❃ུ۪ #aromantic #i don't like the color green why the flag is green uhuhu

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ruby-rolls · 2 months

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Hey. So uh... been a while, huh?

Firstly, apologies for disappearing again. Honestly I don't even really have an excuse this time. Just got sucked into some games I've been playing with my IRL friend group. Also Tumblr logged me out at some point and it took me a while to bother to log back in. Anyways, I'm still here! Don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.

As for today's other, RWBY related news... eh, it sucks, but with how WB's been, I've honestly been seeing this coming for a while now. Hopefully it'll get picked up by something and completed in a decent manner, but even if not, the show still holds a very special place in my heart.

And nothing's gonna stop me from playing Ruby as a massive fatty anyway.~ (Along with the rest of my muses of course)

So yeah. I'm still here if people wanna send asks or do stuff. Can't promise I won't get distracted again but... we'll see.

#OOC

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chubbening · 1 year

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Things I've Written

idk how vital this is, but in case anyone's curious about the stories I've posted and don't feel like browsing my galleries, here's a quick rundown.

1. Everyone's Feeding You: By far my most popular piece. My first foray into second-person smut. You (assumed femme) have recently noticed people treating you a bit differently lately. Like, weirdly hospitable and giving with their food. And the endless gluttony maaay be having an effect on you. No explicit sex, just feedee vibes. Excerpt: "There were donuts in the breakroom the other day, and of course you took one. But then, back at your desk, your coworker offered you theirs—gave some excuse about having a big breakfast. And you took it, as though your girlfriend hadn’t made you a monstrous omelet that morning. And then, seeing that, your other coworker put half of their donut on your desk and said they were trying to watch their weight. And as you stuffed more jelly pastry into your already-full stomach, you couldn’t shake the thought: they were treating you like the fat girl of the group. Everyone was." 2. Calories and Kink: A long one, posted chapter by chapter. 17 are up so far (as of 5/31), but it will have an ending. Anthro furry stuff. Alexa, local goth lesbian fox, wastes away in her barren hometown. Her friends have moved on to better places. Her last relationship went out like an industrial fire (toxic, avoidable, burned longer than anyone expected). Another lonely night at the bar takes a turn when she bumps into Reggie, a big bad jock of a maned wolf, once the high school bully and Alexa's guilty crush. Both soon realize they've grown past the childish antagonism, but not their secret hots for each other. And Alexa has another hidden desire driving her: she wants to get fat. Is Reggie the dominant feeder she's been longing for? Is that worth looking past Reggie's history? Explicit. Excerpt: "Reggie rolled her eyes. 'Ya know, you gave me shit for acting like I was still in high school. Yet here you are still looking and talking like the same don’t-care won’t-care stoner goth you always were.' 'Like you knew who I was. You barely noticed me.' 'Whatever. Give me your phone number.' Now that she’d calmed down a bit, Alexa stopped to honestly consider her feelings. The night had been a rollercoaster. Would she want to do it again? Did she really want to see how serious Reggie had been back at the pizza shop? What if she did gain weight? Her mom wouldn’t like it, but it wasn’t like she was here. Alexa’s coworkers and friends wouldn’t give her any shit. But still, it was one of those things she’d always regarded as a fantasy. Something to read about online, something to stroke off to. She’d never actually talked to anyone IRL about it. Well, not since Syd. This could either be amazing or another catastrophe." 3. The Food Hoarder: The 3.5 Draconomicon is my favorite D&D sourcebook to date for many reasons. There's a dragon-exclusive prestige class called dragon ascendant. One of the prerequisites to taking the class is to eat one's own hoard. So uhhh yeah the premise writes itself: an ancient dragon who hoards food learns what step one is to becoming a goddess. Nothing explicit, technically feral I guess but I've always considered dragons an interesting case. Excerpt: "She lifted her lithe body and stretched, not unlike a hundred-foot cat. On light feet, she padded about her lair, examining the displays of food. Where to start? She wasn’t particularly hungry, having eaten several cattle just yesterday and lazed about since then. Well, she thought, running through the catalogue in her head. If we’ve already had dinner, why not begin with dessert? Her forked tongue licked her cavernous chops as she leapt up to a broad ledge on the north side of the chamber. Cakes. Pies. Pastries. Iced cream. Tarts. Puddings. Casks of sweet wines. All flavors, from all cultures in the world."

4. The Hunger of Dragons: More dragons! When Astal, local anthro dragon adventurer lady, is invited over for dinner by her old friend Silith, she discovers an appetite she didn't know she had. Silith is already well aware of her special relationship with food, as is her human girlfriend, Elryn. Sapphism ensues, and Astal learns a lot about herself. This one also has me dipping my toe into some light macro. Explicit. Excerpt: "Astal smiled, the nerves and awkwardness disappearing in her old friend’s soft embrace. And Silith was soft. When she stepped back, Astal saw that she had chubbed up quite a bit. Silith had never been as thin as her friend, but now she sported a hefty belly and chest, with thick padding everywhere else. Even her scaly red tail seemed fatter. Her wavy hair framed a round, tenderly smiling face with a blunted snout. 'It’s good to see you too,' Astal replied. 'You seem...healthy.' She caught herself staring at her friend’s middle as she spoke and quickly looked up. 'Doing well for yourself, I mean.'"

5. Kobolds Need Food, Badly: A quick, fun romp wherein 3 runaway kobolds settle an argument through gluttony. One thinks the city is the best place to live, the second heard about a cave of desires, and the third advocates stealing from a witch. They part ways, agreeing that whoever gains the most weight in a year will have found their new home. Nothing explicit. Excerpt: "Riska was taken aback as they strolled the streets of the human city. Until now, they were under the impression the tall ones slept when the sky was dark. But many still bustled to and fro under the light of lamps, some apparently on business, other obviously seeking pleasure. Keeping their purpose in mind—and feeling like their stomach was imploding—Riska followed the latter types and soon found a bustling row of taverns. Their sharp, draconic nose soon picked up a dizzying array of scents. Never had they sensed so much or so many kinds of food in one place before, but this was how they imagined the caravans from their grandfather’s stories."

6. Doubling Up: Tessa the centaur and Lina the werewolf have a new housemate who likes to cook. A lot. And even though she stopped to eat her fill on the way home already, Tessa can't bring herself to turn down a centaur-sized portion of home-cooked food. And oopsie, it awakens something in her...and in Lina. (Feedism, it awakens feedism.) Explicit. Excerpt: "She couldn’t possibly eat more tonight, right? But also…what if she could? She felt she had to try. The first bite solidified her decision. Like the rest of the meal, the cobbler showed RJ to be a brilliant cook. Bite after bite disappeared between Tessa’s lips. She was in a haze, but she kept eating. When the pie was gone, she paused and let a new wave of fullness wash over her. She’d pushed her limits tonight, for sure. But as long as she didn’t make this a habit, she figured there was no harm in the extra indulgence."

#me #my writing #feedee writing

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snaillock · 11 months

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i’m sorry but my mind has been rotted with steamer! rin, hiori, and nagi ideas recently

like imagine them collaborating and steaming shit like dbd with each other all the time

i can imagine hiori having the prettiest most aesthetically pleasing layout out of the three but when he gets mad and opens his mouth, oh baby does he get vileeeee. it’s hilarious to watch him switch from sweetly talking to his chat then cursing out some teammate he randomly matched all within a span of one minute.

i feel like rin would have the most generic layout from a free template he got off of google images. he’s pretty much what you would expect from an emotionally repressed 16 year old male streamer: the most vile yet weirdly childish insults you’ll ever hear in a span of five minutes while borderline violating tos and his fans constantly defending him because “he’s just a minor who doesn’t know better🥺” (oh he knows honey he knows…)

nagi wouldn’t even gaf. if we’re lucky he would maybe just maybe have his webcam in the left hand corner with absolutely nothing else (moistcritical ass layout) even then his face would just be his classic neutral :x all the damn time no matter what happens

on their own, i feel like hiori and nagi would just stick to typical fps games (with hiori leaning towards the gorier ones ofc. i mean he gotta release his parental frustrations somehow). meanwhile rin would honestly stream any type of horror from triple a games to a free indie rpgmaker game he found on some random kinda sketchy looking website. he would gain such a loyal niche audience from that

hiori would hire a really good editor to edit and upload his streams to his youtube channel. he would most likely gain a whole separate youtube audience from that. prob has some youtube exclusive stuff as well.

nagi would just upload the whole damn archived stream to youtube, that is if he actually remembered to save the vods and not permanently lose the stream. he doesn’t even care that the uploading takes forever he still can’t be bothered with cutting down the video. (thank god twitch has a feature for viewers to cut out their clips from a stream cause lord knows nagi wouldn’t have done it)

rin would actually edit the clips all by hand, mainly bc he could only trust himself to edit them the way he wants. he can only spend a little time editing tho since he has a pretty busy schedule irl

i can imagine hiori being the most popular one out of the three with how much effort he would put into stuff like self promotion, connecting with his audience, plus him just having an overall nice and likable personality, etc. (also the sight of him and his cute face raging would be pretty fucking funny for his audience to watch)

rin would be the second most popular since he does put plenty of work into making his content at least decent since this is something he does in his free time. plus his channel name would be on twitter trending every now and then because of some iffy ass take he said on stream

nagi would be the least watched out of all of them since despite being pretty damn good at games, he would be pretty boring to watch tbh. he wouldn’t put much time into the self promoting part of it either. that is until he meets reo. when reo finds out about his little streamer side gig, he would totally have him put more effort into it, even if it’s small things like actually announcing stream times since that’s all nagi is willing to do. he kinda becomes nagis de facto manager. before then he just piggybacked on rin’s and hioris clout whenever the trio collabs together

an: ok so i’m gonna stop this post here since i have so many more ideas i want to vomit out but i don’t want this post to be too long so part two coming out shortly.

#★ snail.writes ★#i love these hc vomit posts i should do them more often #don’t mind me just projecting my secret dream of becoming a streamer onto these characters #blue lock #hiori yo #nagi seishiro #rin itoshi #blue lock headcanons #blue lock hcs #wrote this while watching nothing surprisingly

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