#just like. they had this incredibly moving complex story and just. never quite got there and it ended up being so boring

[waitingforminjae]

it rlly was absolutely insane how the male lead tricked eultae and stole his soul then fucked off and played hackey-sack with it with the female lead for the next thousand years while eultae suffered in perpetual agony and then the writing did absolutely nothing with that

#like NO commentary on how who's the protag and antag is just a matter of perspective. no commentary on how ppl are complex #and might be a hero to one person a victim to another and a villain to a third #NO commentary on how living with chronic pain effects a person - how living as a ~monster~ aka a marginalized person effects someone #just like. they had this incredibly moving complex story and just. never quite got there and it ended up being so boring #f: bulgasal

[mixedkid-matchup]

you do not have to answer this!! I'm using you to confess my dubious feelings for the Percy Jackson series bc you also expressed like some weird feelings about it, and I kind of thought the series was untouchable bc of how much everyone I see fawns over it, and I have GOT to get this off my chest to someone who might get what I'm saying. But I have major issues with the writing/premise/series bc it's just feels so deeply colonized and it's bothered me since it FIRST came out and everyone in middle school and high school was reading it and teachers were assigning it. Like the whole premise for the Greek gods being in the US is that they follow Western "progress" and it completely disregards all the amazing things Indigenous did and our way of life, and also removes the importance of place-based culture for both Greek stories and Native peoples (like okay all the Greek stuff moved to the U.S. but wth happened to all our spiritual figures?? The story completelya cts like Native people weren't here and didn't have complex beliefs and ways of life connected to the land, and the gods were just free to take over here with no issues). As a mixed Indigenous kid it just rubs me wrong in all the worst ways and the academic systems love affair with Greek and Roman stuff and Rick Riordan's sheer popularity has been forcing this stuff in my face foreveeeerrrr 😭😭 I was surprised to see your tags about the fandom being weird before too tho since I don't interact with it, so I hope you don't mind this ask and just know I kinda feel the same way!! Ok thanks bye sorry for the rant.

BRO I HAVE HAD THIS RANT ON HAND FOR A LONG TIME ITS OKAY!!!!!!!!!

I THINK IF HEARD ABOUT THIS ACTUALLY. but you explained it way better. like when i first read percy jackson ok fine i was 11, i obviously caught onto the ableism and such but i did not catch onto this until i thought about it when i got older. you're super right. the whole thing about ww2 being caused by demigods was the weirdest shit ever i literally did not remember reading it until i read lightning thief again last year. why did hitler need to be child of hades. THAT IS QUITE LITERALLY HOW PERCY DESCRIBES HADES WHEN HE SEES HIM. LOOKING LIKE HITLER. then what you're saying how they move with the places that are the most progressive and basically take over..... like it's just ..... incredibly misplaced and insensitive.

but about the fandom being weird (its literally encouraged by riordan's book tbh), in heroes of olympus, hazel is a black girl from lousiana in the 1930s?? or 40s idk anyways i think she dies and then nico brings her back. whatever, everyone draws her lightskin and with orange hair, and super skinny, (which she's from louisana. shes darkskin and does not have "caramel" hair i hate white men sometimes.) and shes like 13 btw and in a relationship with frank whos like 16. weird as hell and everyone thinks theyre so sweet. and also rick cannot write meaningful young women. and especially not girls of color. like its WEIRD how piper is portrayed as some pick me girl she constantly feels the need to express shes not like the Aphrodite girls. and rick had to make it weird with aphrodite anyway by making them a whole stereotype of snobby boys and girls who love putting on makeup. they had drew, an asian girl & counselor of aphrodite, straight up mean to piper bc she likes jason. like for no other reason. drew only wants to participate and go on the quest because of jason. and other stereotypes like making leo, latine, be super flirty.

and lets really talk about how annoying annabeth was about the blondes are dumb stereotype because, girl we can talk about misogyny and people not letting you do things because of it, but lets also talk about how you are TWELVE, and the blonde stereotype is tired. i never liked annabeth, she was really tone deaf as someone whos half black. OH AND FRANK. they had this weird ass arc where they implied he was fat because of lack of confidence? like when he got confident he, lost weight... because of a blessing of mars? i dont even know.

like as i get older its more and more annoying to see it. i literally rolled my eyes when i saw rick talking about colorblind casting when people got mad about annabeth. he could of said anything else. how this could reconceptualize annabeth's arc around misogyny and now racism. and purposely alter her character to fit this new black annabeth. but no. people treat colorblind casting as a pinnacle of progressiveness.

#theres probably other stuff i didnt hit like the way the girls are literally fighting over jason for no reason #anyway in carter and sadie's situation its more of. like. no research. #like sure genetics are crazy but like. sadie is not gonna have straight blonde hair #shes not gonna have blue eyes 9/10 #and people are WEIRD ABOUT IT #draw her with brown eyes and tan skin and curls before i lose my mind #also again. shes like 13 and in a relationship with a 16 yr old #its so weird how they make the black girls in weird age difference relationships #also. how carter is drawn with black features and brown skin and curly hair but they dont extend that to his sister. #its weird. why do black girls have to be lightskin. #mixed matchup tag

[tuiyla]

top 10 wlw ships of all time??

All time?? Ahh, good question Anon. I'm sure there's a more objective way to answer this and I could maybe even do a top 10 in terms of milestones in representation but instead, today, this is just going to be my personal list based on my faves.

First thing to know is that I'm actually not that big of a shipper and kinda go all or nothing. Meaning, if I list more than three there's going to be a huge difference in terms of my devotion between the first half and the second half, and for that purpose I'm going to divide this into subcategories.

The top 3 - ride or die, they have my heart ships

1. Korra and Asami, The Legend of Korra

Let’s not even get started on what the Avatar universe means to me and Korrasami in particular because I will cry. They’re comfortably my OTP, if we take One True Pairing seriously and I’ll never forget December 19th 2014.

2. Bubblegum and Marceline, Adventure Time

Dare I say, the OGs? Two years before Korrasami walked off into that sunset I became obsessed with a cartoon vampire and her ex-gf, a despotic piece of gum. Archaeologists will find my many Bubbline posts from before they became canon and see how I was foaming at the mouth trying to tell everyone exactly what the subtext implied. But it’s not just that sense of vindication that will always, always make them so special to me.

3. Brittany and Santana, Glee

Shocker! Lmao, I mean, it is kind of strange that they’re so high because Glee has by far the weakest writing out of my favourite shows and Brittana was treated with the least respect. But, you know, I’m still hooked and I still have a deep love for Brittana’s story. They’re not a pairing I grew up with but one I’m glad I gave a chance to in my twenties. Enough said since I regularly go on about them.

Moving to top 5 - think less about them now but hold dear

4. Laura and Carmilla, Carmilla: The Series

Ahh, Hollstein. I got into Carmilla right after LoK concluded and Hollstein was a milestone couple in terms of my relationship to representation. This little web series created a duo of incredibly complex characters who had an even more complex relationship and one I cherished so, so much. I still think their writing holds up, though I haven’t rewatched in a while. Once upon a time I went as hard for them as the top three, it’s just been a while and Carmilla isn’t a forever fandom for me in the same way Avatar is. Precious memories though.

5. Catra and Adora, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Being as into SPOP as I ended up after season 5 dropped caught me by surprise but it was a very, very solid show and presented a very beautiful story between Catra and Adora. Again, very layered, very complex, very well-written and not the least well (voice) acted. Catradora made me feel so deeply about a ship after quite a while so they deserve to be in the top 5.

Next 2 - less intense but still active shipping

6. Luz and Amity, The Owl House

Continuing my trend of cartoon gfs, I was so happy to watch The Owl House and see how far we’ve come with kids’ shows. Their relationship is allowed to exist well before the finale and it’s so cute and they’re such interesting characters. I admit, I’m a bit behind on TOH at the moment but I’ll catch up by the time season 3 comes out. They’re not quite the same as other animated couples in terms of how personally atteched I am but I’m over the moon about Lumity’s mere existence.

7. Nico and Karolina, Marvel’s Runaways

Deanoru mostly had a hold on me when I first watched the first two seasons and it never crossed into a more intense love for them, but I still really dig the story despite the show’s shortcomings and the premature end. I feel like they got a good enough ending and were treated with respect as a couple. And, you know, that whole sun and moon dynamic? Sign me tf up.

Bottom 3 - still good! just more casual

8. Rachel and Chloe, Life Is Strange: Before the Storm

I was very much anything but chill about Amberprice when I was first playing BtS but in retrospect, and having replayed the game that had more to do with my love for Rachel Amber rather than the pairing. They still made it to the list because they made me feel things in a way most wlw ships in media I casually enjoy don’t. And that whole “run away with me” scene in the second episode? My god. Their tragedy? Fuck I’m a sucker for that.

9. Casey and Izzie, Atyical

I’d say Atypical is by far the show I consumed the most casually out of all the ones listed but Cazzie were such a well-handled couple with adorable and very real scenes. Wlw ships in Netflix shows can feel kinda... forced and like they were just thrown in, but I thought Izzie’s introduction and their evolution felt organic and I enjoyed watching it unfold. They’re top tier, even if they don’t rank higher for me because of personal involvement.

10. Nicole and Waverly, Wynonna Earp

I’ll be honest, there are a couple of ships that could interchangeably place 10th but I think the beginning of Wynonna Earp and Wayhaught’s relationship caught that good time in wlw fandom so I consider them special enough to make the list. My attachment to them is unique to this experience of having watched it unfold and the fact that they were a shining light of hope after everything went down in 2016. Rather than treat it casually, the creators doubled down on Wayhaught’s story and importance and that had an impact. Good show, good ship.

Well, I hope a list like this is more or less what you meant! I’d be curious to hear others’ faves; this is really nostalgic for me for various reasons haha.

#judge my taste 😌 #i'm kidding please don't i will cry when it comes to the sapphics #but this was interesting to consider so thanks anon #anon #ask #top 10 wlw ships #korrasami #brittana #bubbline #deanoru #hollstein #catradora #wayhaught #cazzie #amberprice #lumity #fandom asks #shipping asks

[irregularbillcipher]

some facts about some of my lesser-talked about flatland ocs that are never probably gonna make it into the story:

dorabella, like her son, and like most flatlanders, does have a very shrill voice-- she likes to sing quite a bit though, even if she probably isn't very "good." her peace cries are very loud because she actively likes doing them, and tend to go beyond the normal drone of a standard cry, with more complex, purposeful melodies. despite the shrillness and the complete lack of affection for his mother, (and the lack of affection she had for him,) bill does find himself missing the constant singing once he moves out of the house

albert cipher is good with his hands, and has a creative streak that he rarely got to do anything with. he works in a general store that he doesn't own and struggled to even keep that job after bill was born, and the cipher family doesn't have the money to open their own place, so he is very, very much stuck in the "merchant" subset of the "tradesman/merchant" equilateral role, but he would have liked to have been a woodworker or something similar. a decent amount of the smaller furniture in the cipher home is stuff that albert made in his spare time, including bill's childhood crib

dorabella and albert had a marriage of convenience, like many flatlanders trying to ascend, but they didn't originally dislike each other. there was a bit of "well, we're probably the best each other could do," with the attitude of the family "curse" on the cipher side and a lack of social standing on the affine side, but they had decent conversations and enjoyed each others' company, and were originally quite glad to find someone willing to marry them that they felt they could get along with well. bill would never believe this if you told him-- his birth destroyed any comradery between them, and what he experienced was a mother who was, at best, snippy and cold, and at worse, incredibly, horrifically angry, and a father who was, at best, passive and tired, and at worst, also very angry, in shorter, more confusing bursts. dorabella blamed the supposed cipher family curse for bill's irregularity and, by extension, blamed albert. albert also blamed his family curse, and, by extension, blamed himself. with dorabella angry, frustrated and resentful, and albert embarrassed, guilty and resentful, the marriage soured and bill almost never saw any glimmers of the actual friendship his parents had once had

albert has a few sisters who would love to be in his life a little more, and would even like to be in bill's life, but he's sort of isolated himself from them. his parents' reaction to bill's irregularity was.... bad, and led to him having little contact with his entire family, even the ones who did want to reach out, because of embarrassment

dorabella actually did want to be a mother, but it was complicated-- she was the eldest of her siblings, and ended up taking care of them a lot as a result. she didn't particularly enjoy it in reality, but sort of convinced herself that she did, in part because she never had the opportunity to really explore if she enjoyed literally anything else. when bill was born, it was very easy for her to sort of vent all those frustrations onto this stupid Wrong irregular baby who ruined the only thing she was ever really "good" at and give herself an excuse to check out of being a proper parent

dorabella had a childhood sweetheart-- like the most bare bones, "a boy down the street used to play with me and it meant we were In Love" type thing, when she was pretty little. she'll bring up sometimes in her more resentful moments, saying that if she had just married him instead they probably would have a regular kid, and probably would have had a square on top of that. there's a line that sometimes flirts with albert at work, and he brings HER up in turn whenever dorabella brings up the childhood sweetheart, saying that he's the only one who still has anyone else interested in him. when bill was little he hated this particular fight because so much of it revolved around "well if i chose this person, we would have had a Normal Kid," but the older and more jaded he got, the more he just thought it was like, pathetic and funny and a little Insane, and he'd sometimes prompt his parents to start bickering about how much Better Their Lives Could Be. beats the boring nights where nobody says anything to each other, y'know?

i've mentioned this before, but in any sort of human-ish au, or an au where bill doesn't ascend godhood, he goes no-contact with his folks, understandably. albert will occasionally reach out-- send him a letter once a year, maybe, or if some big life event has happened. bill reads the letters sometimes, but he always tosses them after, and he never writes back, and albert never really expects him to. even if bill did respond, he wouldn't actually respond or start a real correspondence. it's complicated

clarence kryptos originally struggled quite a bit in school-- not necessarily with the material, as he was very bright, but with the fact that he had to be a lawyer in the first place. while there were kryptos cousins "up to the low polygonal ranks," he was the first square in his immediate family, and his family's prevailing thought was "it's about damn time." he'd expressed in early childhood how much he wanted to work in his fathers' shop-- he liked working with the customers, actually, a trait that would develop into him schmoozing his clients-- and was immediately shot down for being ungrateful-- we have to work in a shop all day, clarence, and you get to go to law school-- don't you understand what an honor that is, how important it is that we're finally catching up? any time he struggled with actually wanting to be a lawyer, or occasionally struggled with the actual material he was learning, because what child hasn't struggled in school once in a while, it was shot down as ungratefulness, that he wouldn't do the bare minimum to be what his family needed him to be. by the time he was a teenager, he'd taken it to heart-- he was the most Important one in his direct family, and he and his future children were responsible for finally securing the future of the entire kryptos family line, and he was left completely floundering when it became apparent from the offset that his son would never be able to keep that legacy going

clarence has a sweet tooth. nothing much more to say about it-- he has a taste for simpler food, too, so he would also quite like treacle sponge pudding. he still wouldn't really feel charitable enough to want to give his son any sweets, but if he found out that was andy's favorite, he'd at least think his son had inherited his good sense about something

portia has always had a fascination with law. as a line, she couldn't practice it, of course, but when she was very little, she used to hang around her father's study and ask to sit in on his lessons and court sessions whenever she was allowed. gerald didn't mind it as much as one might expect-- his son was a pentagon, and thank god for that, but it was nice to share his law career with one of his children. of course, the older she became, the less charming it was for her to be curious and precocious, and the more her father started to leave her at home, but he would "indulge" her sometimes. women are silly, stupid, fickle things, but she was his daughter so she was clearly bright for a line! besides, she was going to be married off to a square someday, so it would be good if she could make conversation about her husband's career. both gerald and clarence dismissed her potentially tutoring andy in his law studies, but she genuinely would have been the best option

clarence has also been "lenient" in some ways with portia's interest in law, letting her read lawbooks in his study, talking to her about his cases, sometimes even asking her opinion. nothing huge, but more agency than some flatlanders would allow their wives. clarence is an awful man and incredibly abusive to his son, and he is, in many ways, dismissive and domineering towards his wife, but they have an affection for each other. now, he still doesn't think she's intelligent in any real way-- smart for a woman, but a woman is a woman-- but there is a fondness there that might be unexpected. when portia broached the subject of allowing andy to speak around the house, after all, and provided a logical argument as to why he should, there wasn't a fight or an outright dismissal-- clarence listened. their marriage is still not healthy or good by any means, but it is, surprisingly, better than the ciphers, even though clarence himself is so horrible

portia is also very social when she can be. motherhood never really interested her, and it especially disinterested her when she had her son-- her only moment of fondness was allowing him to speak around the house, and even that was in part so he would be able to fulfill a caste role-- and her interest in a career was clearly not allowed, but she doesn't particularly enjoy hanging around a house alone with a father and husband who at best "indulge" her and at worst ignore and condescend to her. she likes to plan and attend social events with other lines of her standing, and she's quite a bit of a gossip

#well there were more but apparently there's a bullet point limit so??? here ya go i guess

[rughydrangea]

2023 drama year in review

Okay, this year I'm really late. But better late than never, right?

Joining the pantheon of my favorites:

The Glory--The highs of this drama made me feel like I'd taken a hit of whatever not-found-in-nature strain of pot Sa Ra was on.

Maiko-san Chi no Makanai-san--Sweet, heart-warming, gentle. Its kindness made me cry!

Revenant--Just a satisfying, scary, sad, immaculately produced, wonderfully acted ghost story. In terms of sheer quality it may be the drama of the year.

Quite good:

Bad Mom--I loved how complex the character dynamics were here and wish the show would have gone more in-depth into them? Like, this mother gave her son an eating disorder (and was overall incredibly emotionally abusive), and by the end all is forgiven. Mi Joo hides from Kang Ho that he is a father, telling their kids all sorts of lies about their dad, and ultimately everything's okay and they're going to live happily ever after (we didn't even get the scene of them telling the kids, which was truly all I wanted). I'm glad for these characters that love was able to triumph over everything for them, but the genuine darkness of the beginning (especially that first episode, yikes!) primed me for something that was perhaps a bit more messy that this ultimately was. Still, a really enjoyable watch.

The Matchmakers--This one snuck up on me! Fun, funny, and disarmingly sweet.

Moon in the Day--Persuasively makes the argument that dating a corpse reanimated by a 1500-year-old ghost is a great life choice.

Moving--A great show about how dads are hot. I can't believe I spent the whole show waiting for JIS to be reunited with his family and meet his grown up son and the minute he does the camera zooms out and that's it and we see nothing.

My Dearest--"How much amnesia is too much?" is, it would seem, a question this writer has never asked. And yet, it was still pretty incredible. I just wish the last few episodes had lived up to everything that came before.

Perfect Marriage Revenge--I love a drama that knows exactly what it is and is determined to have fun with it.

Not bad:

Crash Course in Romance--There's simply nothing better than grown-up romance. And nothing worse than pointless serial killer plots.

The Forbidden Marriage--Ridiculously charming when it didn't pretend to care about the plot.

My Lovely Liar--"Spoiler" really was a banger.

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract--Poor Joseon Tae Ha really got a raw deal, huh?

WHY??!?!?

Joseon Attorney--I liked the part where the king decided to kill WDH's sister and never apologized for it and everybody, including WDH, was totally cool with it.

Lady Durian--Every episode was an out of body experience in terms of pure, glorious weirdness.

Our Blooming Youth--Every episode felt very long and yet also like nothing had happened. Which is also what the drama felt like.

Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim 3--So bad. So dumb. But Kim Sabu continues to have a smile that keeps me coming back for more.

Secret Romantic Guesthouse--It's certainly a bold choice to have your male lead be your least compelling character and performance. Kang Hoon is a star and a half and it's time for him level out of supporting roles.

See You in My 19th Life--It was okay (SHS great as always), but once I read the synopsis of the webtoon, I couldn't understand why that wasn't the plot of the drama.

#year in review #kdrama #jdrama

[stillanobsession]

Things I Never Noticed About Message in a Haunted Mansion

To start off, I have been majorly sleeping on this game! By the time I got into the Nancy Drew games series, there were already quite a few of the newer ones out, and I only ended up playing this one a few times and then never reached for it again. But the atmosphere of this game is amazing! It has a good mix of cozy and spooky. I LOVE the design of the mansion, they really nailed the victorian aspect, and all of the haunts are so unique. I enjoy that the haunts range from seeing a figure in a mirror, to a chair looking like it has been sat in and the phantom person has stood up, to a random picture whispering "I see you".

Anyways, now to get into the bulk of this post.

I forgot about all the little details the older games have that add to the storyline.

The fact that women acting used to be considered a scandal.

I just realized through a conversation with Rose saying that her and Abby were discussing needing to hire help to fix up the house, and then 20mins later Charlie showed up, means that Charlie was squatting in the house before Rose bought it.

That wooden inlay puzzle is a lot more tedious than I remember, and I used to play these games with the trackpad.

Now, I'm no expert on fire and earthquake insurance policies, but 1 million seems a tad bit excessive.

Who exactly is Emily? She is in this game and then never is mentioned again, and is kind of a random character.

I just noticed that the Mysterious Storybook in the attack alludes to the ending scene and the Diary book explains why there is a hidden compartment in Nancy's room.

With all the little haunts in this game it's always a surprise on what is gonna happen next and I love this detail.

What purpose would that hidden passage in the library serve? There is no other access point to it, so you would have to a) make sure the person you wanted to spy on would be having a discussion in the library and b) you arrived at the library before they did to effectively spy on them. Seems incredibly complex.

Did anyone else ever get nauseous playing the maze game or was that just me?

Also, the instructions on the maze game move on so fast it took me forever to figure out the first time I played if I had found the end or not.

What exactly does Rose do all day? There's no way making a to-do list takes that long.

Has anyone ever seen all the hauntings? I swear some of the sound effects Abby has I have never heard, like the baby crying one?

I honestly forgot how engaging the storyline of this game was, and despite the focus being tracking down the reason behind the accidents there is also an underlying love story leading to hidden treasure.

Not gonna lie, I think Abby was on the something with the whole haunted Bed & Breakfast theme.

Am I hallucinating or did you used to be able to confront Abby about faking the hauntings? I somehow did not unlock this dialogue option this play through?

#message in a haunted mansion #nancy drew games #nancy drew pc games #her interactive #clew crew

[magmacannon]

odds 20-30 and 42 for yarrow? :]

oOO thank you sm!!!

21. What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

Yarrow isn't a staunch supporter of any cultural norms that would limit the expression of someone's appearance to maintain 'proper' form, thinking (correctly for sure, given the city he's currently living in) that this is a way to 'other' people who do not fit within a narrow range of arbitrary categories of dress/mannerisms/etc. He's also incredibly versed at navigating appropriate dresswear for all types of events and while he can blend in with proper clothing for different situations, he tends to knowingly dress Up.

23. What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

Yarrow is 243 years old and remembers (/regrets) things he's done with other people that have since died of old age. The biggest of those that the least people likely remembered when they were alive is saying "I love you" sincerely in situations where it wasn't returned. However, Yarrow tries to live with as few regrets as possible day-to-day now that he's gotten better at handling his emotions, meaning the number of things that dwell in his mind (of late) has gone down. For sure he'll get too pissed off and put his foot in his mouth sometime soon though! He'll likely think about it extensively even if the person he snapped at has moved on (and try to fix it if he's able to do so, or eventually move on with his life if not)

25. What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

Yarrow knows a WHOLE lot about the cultivation and crossbreeding of apple trees! It bears no merit to his current life in any possible way but he genuinely could start an orchard if the fancy ever took him! He also has extensive knowledge about how to braid flower crowns together in very complex ways, knows the inner workings of worship of the Seldarine, knows mid-tier medical knowledge (he can absolutely perform effective sutures with a bit of practice beforehand), and a variety of other things that don't come up in his day-to-day life.

27. What’s the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?

I had to think about this one for a quite a bit but the three worst gifts (for different reasons) that Yarrow ever received were a well-made but lacey blouse from his father when he was young (extremely not Yarrow's style and not the first lace-based gift his dad had given him), a locket containing crystallized blood in the shape of a heart and a braid of (his and the gift-giver's) hair serving as the lines for said heart (from someone he was having a short fling with, WAY too soon to give a gift like this), and a dildo that was of such bad quality that he was genuinely hurt by it. In all three cases he got extremely angry and vicious for a while, vowed never to speak to that person again (in his father's case, this was temporary), and then made a deliberate attempt to not be in that position again. (In the case of the dildo, he started making sex toys.... origin story)

29. How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

Yarrow believes himself to be extremely knowledgeable about a whole lot of shit (he is, but he can also be really annoying about it - or seems to be above it just with how he looks/acts which is really infuriating) and gives advice nearly at the drop of a hat, so this happens a lot lol. If it's a serious issue he'll try to appeal to emotions to help whoever he's trying to advise, but if it's lower-stakes stuff or someone he's annoyed with he'll scoff at them for not listening/believing that he has useful info about whatever it may be. Yarrow is also really good at lying so if he is fibbing, his acted-out Hurt is nearly indistinguishable from genuine disappointment.

And 42. If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

There are... literally so many options but I'll go with "How to survive falling in love ten thousand times" as a title and the topic is how to navigate into higher emotional maturity, how not to get consumed by heartbreak and despair at relationships/the world, and how to find as much joy as possible in every day of life pff

#thanks for the ask!! #I love 2 talk aby my big pink elf #c: Yarrow

[talkingbl]

The Good and Bad of The Eclipse

SPOILER WARNING.

Disclaimer: I want to give a preface here and say that while it looks like there's more bad than good, there's really not. The good overcame the bad for the most part with this show (as you can see by the amount I wrote under each bullet).

The Good

Neo. My first encounter with Neo was FUTS. Back then, I didn't think much of him. I mean, I knew he was a somewhat decent actor, but the style of FUTS didn't quite lend itself to showcasing his skill. Then I watched Tonhon Chonlatee. I started to notice his versatility. Duean was a straightforward guy: he see Meen, he simp for Meen, he confused as to why he simp for Meen. Na was a little more interesting. He had feelings for Chon, but he also had the wherewithal to understand that those feelings weren't reciprocated. He had a level of emotional complexity that allowed him to recognize when enough was enough despite his beating heart. But Khan? Khan took the bare bones of Duean and the emotional maturity of Na and moved it forward (hi Eren!). Neo was able to capture the feeling of falling in love with someone unexpected while struggling to come to terms with what that feeling means with incredible subtlety. Each time Khan hung out with Thua, a new emotion developed within Khan toward Thua. I'm never one to harp on the way a person looks at another person but that thing that Mork does to Phi in FUTS, Khan did to Thua but with 5 other emotions attached to it. There wasn't just love/lust in those looks, there was longing, fear, adoration, and doubt. You could see how tortured Khan felt inside even if he never vocalized it. All of this showed the talent and potential of Neo who was perfectly casted in this role.

FirstKhao. Oh boy, where do I start? Well, I guess I can say that First is one of the best actors GMMTV has to offer. He plays sadness and contemplation so well, it's no wonder he was selected to play Akk. While I did see some areas of improvement for First (namely any time Akk had to be rude to another character/reject Ayan), when he's good, he's great. The moments that best exemplify this to me in The Eclipse include whenever Ayan gets all up in Akk's space. You can visibly see the butterflies fluttering around Akk when Ayan approaches. And I've said this before but First is another one of those actors who can create chemistry out of thin air. When he played opposite Ohm / Fluke in The Shipper, you got that. When he played opposite Gawin in Not Me, you got that. And now that he's playing opposite his best friend, you get it even more. He and Khao are so perfect next to each other that it's hard to understand why this pairing hadn't happened sooner. As for Khao I wasn't initially as sold on him as I was First. I had seen him in Tonhon Chonlatee, 2gether, and 1000 Stars and, while I was fine with his acting, I wasn't 100% sold on him particularly as a lead in a romance. But The Eclipse really made a believer out of me. I want to be clear that I don't think chemistry is a huge problem with Khaotung, as he had smooth chemistry with Podd in Tonhon, but it was something about the way he acted outside of the romance itself that bothered me. It was like I couldn't feel the chemistry between Ton and Chon linger once Tonhon (played by Pod) left the screen. It's like when Chon (played by Khao) was with his friends or alone, I never got from Khao's acting that his character was deeply in love. Despite the fact that much of Chon's story outside of scenes with Ton was about Ton, and many of his scenes were crafted to convince you that Chon was head over hills for Ton (see the shrine scenes), I didn't really feel like Chon actually loved Ton when they were apart. Yet, when Ayan is away from Akk, you get the sense that what he feels for Akk endures. So, again, I wonder how much of these developments are Khao's growth as an actor and how much is a result of writing/directing. Either way, Khao made me a believer in The Eclipse and I'm interested to see where he goes next from here (hopefully a post-apocalyptic survivor role!).

The Bad

The World Remembers gang. Just why? Their roles weren't acting well and the antics got stale after the first time they pulled something. I didn't know much about them besides that they hated school uniforms?? And also they're gay but like...that's not a personality trait lmao. Their scenes just prolonged an already needlessly convoluted plot.

The final act / the Teacher Dika story. I- Look, GMMTV is great at starting an intriguing story and landing so poorly. I don't think I cared about this plot line for one second after like Episode 4. If they wanted to do the thriller/politicking/intrigue thing, they should've watched seasons 1-4 of Game of Thrones (or something similar) first because they dropped the ball here. I mean, every competent writer knows that the key point to any story (especially a political thriller!!) is to be entertaining first. Make shit happen! Make us care about said shit! Make said shit logical/reasonable within the bounds of the story world! Don't just throw in character motivations out of nowhere or reiterate a character's position needlessly, or drag out every single plot twist. It just gets boring and confusing after the first couple of missteps.

The slow burn. After awhile it was just like how in the fuck is Akk still denying his feelings for Ayan? It was like they'd take one step forward and two steps back which just pissed me off.

The runtime. Really this show could've ran ~8 episodes and nothing would have been lost. The story was not tight and had a lot of threads that weren't exactly extraneous but also weren't interesting.

#thai bl boys love #the eclipse #akkayan khanthua #firstkhao khaofirst firstkhaotung neolouis #first kanaphan khaotung thanawat neo trai louis thanawin

[lozchic]

Svyk’s modern AU version: Sven Aster

Basic notes: - 23 yr old college graduate - Has a BA in Education and taught as a teacher’s aid for a time - Quit out of stress and realized he hated teaching - Had taken an internship at his local library his senior year as an undergraduate. They saw him as reliable enough that they hired him for the information desk and stocking - Hates stocking vehemently and is working on his masters in library science in the hopes of moving away from that - Doesn’t know his boss actually wants to keep him at the information desk regardless and only because he’s actually competent at it - Lives alone in an apartment complex where most student graduates live - Mostly known as the weirdo loner among his peers. Only an elite few feel he’s not creepy and just a loner. - Originally wanted to be a research historian and changed his mind before he declared his major. He’s still a walking encyclopedia of odd history facts.

Family life notes: - His father, Rowan Aster is a rich VP of a medical conglomerate.  - Rowan left when Sven was 8 yrs old “to focus more on his company.” Or that’s the story he told Sven. The truth is far messier than that. - He sends Sven the same birthday card and message every year with $20 bill shoved in. Stopped sending cards altogether when Sven turned 18. - His mother, Tabatha (or Tabby for short) is a former ICU nurse to nursing assistant of a local doctor.  - She’s usually out most days and when Sven was 10 yrs old she simply left his dinner in the fridge with notes that she’d be there later. She never got home until around midnight most times. - Both were absent for his high school and college graduation.  - Both were incredibly vocal in their dislike that Sven didn’t get a BA or BS in business or nursing. - Despite that, still funding tuition payments for him. However, Sven is on his own for the rest.

Personality: - Has a curt way of speaking, just greets and addresses people at best. - Only exception is if he’s asked anything related to history. Suddenly there’s the issue of getting him to shut up. - Pretty pompous and over confident in his own capabilities. Leads more often to him embarrassing himself when he’s wrong. - Undiagnosed depression due to the amount of trauma/stress related to his family. Behind closed doors he tends to cry over inconsequential things out of stress and loneliness. (ie. He’s cried over a wanted ad for a lost puppy, has cried himself to sleep, cried over remembering his father calling him a failure, etc.) - Subdued anger and self esteem issues, seems silent outwardly but inwardly is blaming himself in cycles. Best he can muster in anger is raising his voice under pressure.

Other facts: - His general style is white collared shirt with khakis or pants. Depending on the season he wears a sweater over the shirt. - Winter is the only time he wears a dress jacket over a sweater and collared shirt completing this very teacher-like ensemble.  - He sometimes gets confused for a teacher’s aid by strangers because of that. - His general hobby is reading, mostly researching more obscure history facts - Has picked up sewing and knitting after being urged to do so by one of his coworkers. So far doesn’t hate it. - Does drink but usually drinks wine. Mostly lighter wines without too much of a dry taste.  - Used to drink a glass of wine while reading before bed. Had to cut back from the high alcohol consumption involved and how fast it burned through his finances. Still drinks weekly to biweekly at best. - Oddly doesn’t like most caffeinated drinks. Only tolerates coffee since it gets him through the day. Drinks his coffee with a lot of cream.  - Unironically buys organic health foods at places like WholeFoods and tries to find alternatives when he can. 

#Svyk/Sven Aster #;Reading doesn't have to be a rainbow

[motherartistsmakingart]

Hey MAMArtist* ANN LEPORE

Where do you live and what are the ages of your child(ren)?

My kids are 8 & 11. We live with my husband in Mahwah, NJ.

How do you describe your art practice?

My practice is heavy on process; the more steps, the better. Complexity, risk, and curiosity are all important to me because I’m always learning. If something seems scary or difficult, then I know I should do it, because this is how I will grow. I’m especially curious about how culture is formed and how people inform each other through social interaction. I love going to a new place and feeling out the social vibe, noticing the divides, and digging into the social landscape until I figure out why people do what they do. This is a long way of describing that a big part of my practice involves conversation and storytelling. Becoming a mother changed the way I use time. Prior to having children, I really enjoyed toying with an idea for quite a while before executing it. I’d make plans for how the idea could possibly exist in any medium and then weigh which medium would be the right vehicle. That process sometimes took weeks or months. Once my time was compressed by the reality of caring for a helpless infant, I figured out how to make these same decisions much faster, like, as in hours.

Who is your artistic crush?

Tali Hinkis  

http://www.lovid.org/

 and Marina Zurkow  

https://www.o-matic.com/

When I first met Tali, she and her husband were performing at The Kitchen as Lovid. She had her infant daughter in a baby carrier on her chest. During one part of the performance, she had to change the way she was moving her body to control an electronic interactive instrument that they'd invented. So she effortlessly slipped the carrier to her husband, Kyle and they swapped active parenting, mid-performance! Seeing this made me think I could do anything. Eventually, I found myself rehearsing a turntable performance with my son strapped to my chest, though I couldn't see over his little noggin to grab the fader,  so I ended up with a sitter for the live performance. I have never met Marina, but would like to. She has this incredible plasticity for moving one idea out through multiple mediums and it always remains cohesive. Additionally, she uses animation in a fine art context, which is something I have a deep appreciation for.

What is a superpower Mother+Artists have?

Growing culture without permission, and I don’t just mean in a petrie dish! We’re calling it “mother” but whoever the primary caregiver is, this person is in charge of shaping another person’s social and emotional development. We are more influential to the next generation than the richest corporation or the most militant government. Culture is literally the hardest thing to change- it’s like moving mountains. Of course, as moms we joke about how our childrens' therapists will probably inquire about us, but I am at least 55% who I am because of my parents. My mother is a textile artist with the Irish gift of storytelling. She went back to school and got a Masters degree as a single mother and figured out how to support us. I've always thought she could do absolutely anything.  My father is a race car driving instructor. As a kid, if I wanted to talk to him, I had to get on the creeper and slide under the car where I'd hand him tools or bleed the brakes. He and my mother introduced me to the physical properties of materials. If something seemed mysterious, I learned it was still accessible, if you had the right tool.

You have an ongoing project called FOODSTORE(Y) that has been traveling around NY and NJ! Can you tell us a tiny it about it?

FOODSTORE(Y) is a three-part process: Performance Exchange, Animations, Podcast.  Basically, I'm dragging my kitchen table to public places, asking strangers to sit down with me for a meal, and when we're sitting together, I ask folks to tell me a story. With their permission I record their story to use as a reference for animations I create that focus on the non-verbal communication of my storytellers. These intimate gestures are then exhibited publicly and the audio of their stories is archived in a podcast.

Following the isolation of Covid, and global tilt away from democracy and human rights, it felt really important to refocus on what gives us our humanity, and how we can use simple things like public spaces and food to care for each other and re-establish our baseline as a society.     Cooking for someone, nurturing them, and breaking bread are often used to help groups bond and has been used as a relationship-building tool by diplomats and activists alike.   Feeding a stranger creates vulnerability for the listener, which matches that of the person who has chosen to have their personal story recorded.

The performance is a gesture of trust and respect, the animation creates a heightened awareness of our common language of non-verbal communication, and can exist quietly in museums, or projected in the same public spaces where participants first exchanged stories over a meal with a stranger.

I'm asking: Can hospitality be radical? Can parenting? It sounds simple but in reality my work process involves researching with storytelling archivists, cooking and interviewing as performance (the performance is documented), months of intensive animation work, followed by podcast production of the story archive. Throughout the Spring, Summer and Fall of 2022 I’ve been recording stories this way, and as of this writing I am recording in Spain! For the winter months I will be cozied up indoors, animating. In May 2023 I will be ready to take my kitchen table around and record once again. If you have access to a public space that could be activated by FOODSTORE(Y) performance exchanges and recordings, please reach out to me via IG or my website.

How did motherhood directly, indirectly, oppositionally or integrally influence this project?

All of these -- of course! And this describes the power of motherhood. It’s very real. What is also very real is how people treat women, especially mothers, especially in the U.S.  This is a country with no real national maternity policy and so as you can imagine, the stories around motherhood and the labor force, many of these stories are about women leaving jobs to have children or even not being able to work because they have children. Antiquated but pervasive non-labor views often center around the idea that our power is in our ability to attract men sexually, just the right amount and not to much. Therefore women who are pregnant, or spending all their attention on small children are seen as less desirable and therefore less powerful. Thankfully, this is changing somewhat. At my own job I was counseled by a male colleague to wait until I had tenure before getting pregnant, otherwise I might not be given the opportunity.  This is the long way of saying that the obstacles to doing ANYTHING while being a female primary caregiver are external. They don’t have much to do with actually having, or using, a womb, but rather how people in power feel about you using your womb. See: American women's recent loss of abortion rights. So yes, lots of opposition. But. I was determined to prove myself. So when I was pregnant with my first, I made lots of  artistic commitments. I think I had a major exhibition or performance every month during my son's first year of life. My stress about how others might react to pregnant artists moved me forward even faster than if I’d had nothing to fear. Additionally, motherhood has made me very conscious of what I’m modeling for my children, and while most of the time they are oblivious to my projects, they seem to be very curious about FOODSTORE(Y).

What are you currently reading and/or listening to that is giving you thoughts, feelings and reactions?

I just bought On Whiteness because Nell Painter is in it and I think she’s just marvelous. My favorite podcast is Scam Goddess. Lacey Mosely has the energy I wish I had but I feel it transferring to me when I listen. When the pandemic first started I temporarily lost the ability to read long form anything. Books I’d already read and loved became an easier to read and Anne Patchett’s THE DUTCH HOUSE was my go-to. Other things I like to reread periodically: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield and a compilation of essays called Don’t Leave Your Friends Behind; Concrete ways to Support Families in Social Justice Movements and Communities by Victoria Law and China Martens.

Any message for Mother+Artists reading this?

My kids are 8 and 11. I just figured out something that other moms probably already know: There’s chunks of demand on your productive time/headspace and they change! When the kids are 1-7, don’t expect to be able to give too much time. 7-14 feels like a different world, where you have much more time, and maybe 14-21 will be when you have even more? I don’t know, I'm not there yet. More importantly, there were so many other moms who helped me: first a group that I met through my husband’s band, then just two women at my job, then a group of writer moms and now The MAMAs -- it’s amazing! Other trailblazing art-parents are incredible resources. Even though we’re sometimes invisible,  we’re actually quite powerful. If you don’t have a Mom+Artist group, go find another mom with a creative practice and help her. The rest will be magic.

Best links to find you and FOODSTORE(Y)?

annlepore.com

PHOTO CREDITS!

Ann LePore (in the red dress), visual artist and creator of FOODSTORE(Y):

Serving Gazpacho and bread, collecting stories at the Hoboken Museum;

Serving Butternut Squash soup, collecting stories at Healing Space, Newark, NJ as part of the Newark Arts Festival;

Serving icy strawberry soup, collecting stories in front of the Lanape Gallery, Staten Island, NY;

Animation of storyteller gestures exhibited at Kresge Gallery, Mahwah, NJ

*Each month The MAMAs features a Mother+Artist and their work in the world. Thank you Ann!

#foodstore(y) motherartistsmakingart heymamartist mamas_pamas caregivingisradical

[11peachbunny11]

Review of Song of Achilles

Overall rating: 8/10

Quick Take: Did it make me cry? Yes. Did I sob? No. I got over it pretty quickly and was able to sleep soundly. Did I like it? Yes! Do I think it's overhyped? Also yes. 

Suggestion to Other Readers: 1. You don’t have to know the myth to enjoy this book, no previous knowledge is needed. 2. I used this book to get out of my reading slump, and it worked! This book is super easy to read and I think one could definitely get a good experience out of it either reading it all in one sitting (which is what I did, took me ~6 hours total) or reading it in chunks. 

Overall vibe: It was cute! But this book is coated in YA vibes. Some people like that, some don’t. It usually doesn’t bother me a whole lot, so I still had a very good time. 

Hot Take: This book is a beautiful retelling and I think the author really accomplished what she set out to do. However, was this the deepest and most heart wrenching thing I’ve ever read? No. Her writing is very nice, but I didn’t get the same magic out of it as so many others seemed to have (blaming Erin Morgenstern on that one, she has ruined me). I often hear people talk about how deep and quotable this book is, but I really didn’t see it. Like, there’s the one “he’s the other half of my soul” line and… that’s about it? I think this book was incredibly well written and Madeline Miller does have a very distinct writing style, but after everything that I’d heard, when I started reading the actual book I was honestly really shocked. The writing was not what I had been led to believe. Which is fine! It was still very good, but… not what I was expecting. 

What I noticed of her writing was that it was quick, to the point, and there is hardly any dialogue in this book. We watch from Patroclus’ perspective only and he explains his feelings more so then feels them. Some people like that, some people don’t. I honestly have no qualms on it, but he did a lot of ‘immediately placing names to the feelings’ so if you have issue with that, you’ve been warned.

Moving along to the actual story and characters, I really loved the two main leads. I think it’s kinda hard not to enjoy them and their love story was cute. However, the book didn’t quite get into the depth with which I wanted it too. I attribute this to just how much she had to get through. The actual myth is so long, and in order to not write a 700 page book she really had to speed through some stuff. So I understand why, but it doesn’t make me happy. Within this book, there was never a point in which I felt we really sat with the characters. There would be a small moment, but then we were moving on to the next part. Once again, I believe this is because there was just so much that we had to get through, but still. We run through this book, and at no point for me did it feel like we slowed down and really felt with these characters. A lot of the feelings are surface level. 

Now, what those feelings are were still very complex--jealousy and envy and love are nuanced things, especially when put together, but I felt like we never deep dived into those feelings. There was just no time. But still, despite all this, her characters felt very human, and that’s always preferable to any alternative. 

The romance was… very cute, do not get me wrong. But that really isn’t what hit me in the end. Because I knew how the story would end, I was braced for it, so when it happened, I wasn’t very saddened. The myth is fairly well known, and even if you don’t know what’s to go down the foreshadowing is intense. The book essentially tells you from the beginning that this is a tragedy. No, the romance was fine, but what got to me was the ending scene between Patroclus and Achilles’ Mother. That hit hard, and if you’ve read the book or plan to read the book, you’ll know what I mean. That had depth to it. That was meaningful. Grief is a complex beast and I feel like that scene really encompassed what it can look like when two people grieve together despite previous hatred. I feel like the most complex and deep relationship in this book is that between Patroclus and Achilles' mother. That had a lot to it, and I found myself excited for and enjoying more the scenes between them than the scenes between the two lovers. That could just be the angst lover in me, but I felt like those scenes had more emotions behind them then any others in this book. 

Overall, this book was enjoyable and it got me out of my reading slump. I would definitely suggest it to anyone looking for a historical Greek story or an LGBT read.

#book review #Book Recommendations #book #song of achilles #bookworm #booklover

[messers-moony]

Divorce | J.P

Paring: James Potter X Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Reader goes through divorce with her arranged husband but sees her Hogwarts crush almost two years later at her Potions shop in Diagon Alley

Divorce sucks. There is no other way to say it. There is no amount of sugar to properly coat the words to make them seem better than they are. Instead, they’re pure salt– pure acidity. An arranged marriage for purebloods was typical. That doesn’t mean that everyone technically agrees they work. Some speculate that arranged marriages work more than chosen marriages. Y/n wouldn’t be one of those people.

Her family was a part of the sacred twenty-nine. The L/n’s, to be more specific. Y/n was a model child, an only child at that. She was sorted into Slytherin with not a consideration of any other house. Immediately at the age of sixteen, she was engaged to another man called Zenix Flores, another family of the sacred twenty-eight. Zenix was sweet, but he wasn’t her type.

Throughout her years at Hogwarts, Y/n stared at another. His name was James Potter. A star Quidditch player for the Gryffindor team. The best Chaser. Y/n’s lingering stares and dreamy look didn’t make it past Zenix. Fortunately, Zenix had eyes for another as well, Sirius Black, the best friend of James Potter. They bonded over that. They bonded over being in love with people they couldn’t have.

Everyone dies eventually. Immortality is not reality, and once Y/n’s parents died. Divorce was in order. However, they didn’t love each other like they should’ve it still sucked. They were close friends. But did close friends have a child together? Leo Flores, the product of Y/n Flores and Zenix Flores, was only eight years old when they went through the divorce. Leo was a token to show that Zenix and Y/n fell in love. An illusion.

It took months, but after the process was complete, Y/n left. Leo was to be in her care for the rest of his life. Zenix would send some of his profit to them to help, but he would never see his son again. Granted, he didn’t treat Leo well. Always so harsh, so strict on the little boy. The first words out of Leo’s mouth were ma’am and sir. Not momma or daddy. Instead, they were formalities.

They lived in an apartment in Diagon Alley. It wasn’t huge, but it was enough. Y/n changed her last name, and Leo’s back to L/n. Another long process but worth the wait. Y/n worked at a Potions shop in the Alley. Sometimes her old friend Severus would visit and buy some ingredients, but no one else she knew ever came into the shop. Not until he showed up at the door.

James Potter came waltzing into the Potions shop like it was nobody’s business. Unknown to the woman working the shop, he had been watching her work from afar. Just across the street was a bookstore where Remus would visit. During one of those visits, James caught sight of her. Granted, James didn’t think he’d find love after Lily ran away after his proposal claiming he wasn’t enough but that all changed when he saw her.

The feelings came back like it was yesterday she was gazing at him from the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. Y/n’s cheeks were set ablaze, and her stomach was placed into a frenzy of a million different feelings. Her heart made it seem like she ran around the Quidditch pitch one thousand times. Unbeknownst to her, he felt the same way.

Eventually, he made his way to the counter, “ Um- Good Afternoon. “

“ Good afternoon, sir. How may I assist you today? “ Y/n asked despite her racing heart, “ I need some help brewing a complex Potion. “ James confessed, fiddling with his hands.

“ What Potion, sir? “ Y/n inquired, “ Wolfsbane. “ James answered.

Her eyebrow quirked upward, “ That is a difficult Potion. It could have awful defects if made incorrectly. “ Y/n explained, looking at the ingredient list, “ How about this, I’ll make you the Potion instead of you possibly messing it up? “

“ How can I trust you won’t mess up? “ James questioned, smirking teasingly, “ Well. If it helps any, I received O’s on all of my Potion examinations, even in N.E.W.T level. “ Y/n quipped.

“ Well. I suppose you know your stuff. “ He replied as he crossed his arms, “ I suppose I do. “ Y/n retorted with a smile.

So James decided that she’d make the Potion. He would’ve paid her a million Galleons if he was just allowed to sit in the shop and stare at her. She was a beauty and moved so gorgeously. She moved with a purpose, with determination and ambition. Sirius and Remus had begun teasing him as James stared longingly at the Potions shop across the street.

“ Do you know her name? “ Remus asked, standing beside James now, “ No? “ James stated.

Remus chuckled; of course, he didn’t, “ Y/n L/n. She was a Slytherin in our year. Amazingly brilliant she is. Apparently, she was married to Zenix Flores but got divorced two years ago. “

James and Sirius stared gobsmacked, “ Did you stalk Prongs’ future wife? “ Sirius accused, and Remus shrugged, “ I was curious. Plus, I knew her at Hogwarts. She was a Prefect. We had a lot of rounds together. “

“ She was a Prefect? “ James queried, “ Mhm. You were too busy drooling at Lily to notice her. “ Remus nodded.

Now James felt incredibly stupid. All those pranks on the Slytherin house made him feel exceptionally stupid, knowing that she could’ve caught the backlash on some of them. Not only that, but she was a part of the sacred twenty-eight. James had never felt more idiotic, and he had gotten rejected after proposing to his girlfriend. That was saying something.

A month had passed, and the potion was ready. So once again, James walked into the Potions shop. This time she had a messy top knot present on top of her hair. Her eyes held extreme tiredness, and she moved almost sluggishly. James was worried. But Y/n saw him enter the shop and her cheerful smile glazed her face. Two bottles were now present on the counter for James to take.

He stood at the counter and pressed ten Galleons on the table, “ Sir, they’re only three Galleons. “ Y/n stated, “ Take the extra. You look exhausted. “ James replied.

“ Th- Thank you. “ Y/n smiled, “ Thank you, Y/n, for making these. “ James said gratefully.

Y/n blushed, “ I- Um- You were a Slytherin Prefect in my year at Hogwarts. “ James stammered, “ I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you before. “

“ It’s okay. Divorce can do that to you, Huh? “ Y/n laughed bitterly, “ Well, when I proposed to Lily, she straight up told me I wasn’t good enough so, that was almost like divorce minus the paperwork. “ James added.

“ I’m- I’m so sorry. “ Y/n apologized, “ No, no. I’m okay, trust me. It’s been about three years. “ James replied.

Before Y/n could speak again, steps were heard from the second story, “ Mom! Mom! “ Leo’s voice called as he rushed down the steps.

“ Mom! “ Leo appeared from behind the counter to see James and a blushing Y/n, “ Oops, uh, sorry, mom. “

“ No, it’s fine. Come here. “ James beckoned, and Leo hesitantly approached, “ What’s your name, little man? “

“ I’m ten! “ Leo announced proudly, and James chuckled, “ That’s awesome! “ James smiled.

Y/n turned to her son, “ What did you need, Leo? “ Despite being embarrassed, she was calm, “ You accidentally placed my quills on a high shelf. I can't reach them. “ Leo confessed, slightly embarrassed.

“ I’ll be up in just a second, but- “ Y/n began, but James stuck out his hand, “ I’m James. “

“ I’m Leo. “ Leo accepted the handshake and smiled at the adult man, “ If your mom doesn’t mind, maybe we could chat? “ James inquired, looking toward Y/n.

Leo looked hopeful at his mom, “ Please? “

“ Sure. You can go. “ Y/n allowed, and Leo hopped over the counter.

Before James could leave the proximity of the counter, Y/n grabbed his wrist, “ Please. Take care of him; I'm trusting you blindly here. “ She pleaded, and James smirked, “ Of course. “

The rest of the day went smoothly. Y/n had closed shop and began restocking items when they showed up. James' unkempt brown hair was more unorganized, but his hazel eyes glassed with mischief. Leo’s black hair was blown away from the rain, and his blue eyes sparkled with excitement. James beckoned the ten-year-old back upstairs while he approached Y/n.

“ So? Have a nice day with my kid? “ Y/n teased, and James chuckled, “ He’s fantastic. “

“ I know. “ She replied, “ I took him for ice cream, and we went shopping for a little. “ James informed.

Y/n melted at the adoration present on James' face, “ Do you need any money back? I can- “

“ No. Don’t worry about it, doll. I’ve got it covered. “ James interjected, “ I just saw him, and he had this look. He looked trapped. He needed to leave and just let loose for a couple of hours. “

“ I- I really love him. “ James confessed, and Y/n smirked, “ You’re in love with my son but not the woman who created him? “

“ If we're being honest. I’ve been watching you from the bookstore across the street. I thought you were gorgeous. Remus was the one who told me who you were. “ He admitted nervously, “ But being with your son today. If you’d like, could I take him out more often? “

She stepped down from the ladder and stood in front of him, “ How about you stay forever? “

“ I- I mean that is if you want. I know that I’m a pureblood, and- and my son- you probably don’t want to have a child right now. He’ll be going to Hogwarts soon, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it. But- But his former father wasn’t amazing, and I’m not sure you want that responsibility- “

Y/n was cut off when James grabbed her by the waist and placed his lips on hers. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles on her skin through her shirt. Y/n’s hands went through his unkept brown tuffs and his glasses slightly fogged from the heat of the kiss. They pulled apart but rested their foreheads on each other. They were still somewhat breathless from the soft kiss.

He held her chin in his hand, “ I’d love nothing more than to stay forever. “

#james potter x you #james potter x reader #james potter #james Potter #james Potter x y/n #remus x y/n #remus x you #remus x reader #remus lupin x reader smut #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin smut #remus lupin fluff #james fluff #james Potter fluff #remus lupin #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius orion black #sirius imagine #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader smut #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black #marauders x reader #marauders smut #marauders imagine #marauders fluff #marauders #harry potter fanfiction

[naynay5155]

C!Tommy’s Storyline With C!Dream Is A Very Concerning Depiction Of Abuse

Wild Title 

Okay, I’m sure that this probably isn’t too new information for anyone paying attention to the overall story of the DreamSMP, especially C!Tommy’s storyline, but I figured I’d give my two cents for this anyways. 

C!Tommy is an Abuse Victim who has gone through horrific stuff at the hands of C!Dream. This is not an arguable fact. regardless of if C!Dream had reasons for doing what he did, if C!Dream also later gets abused, or if ultimately the abuse portrayal could be considered in some ways flawed or unrealistic, that stuff doesn’t ultimately matter. Because we’ve seen what happened to C!Tommy during Exile, have seen the physical, emotional, and mental abuse he was put through. Just because they won’t call it Abuse doesn’t mean it isn’t Abuse.

Now, C!Tommy being an abuse victim is an interesting idea from a storytelling perspective. It has a lot of potential to lead to genuine character development, or to affect relationships and story beats in interesting ways. And it could be an interesting way to really say something about abuse and coping with it. 

And to an extent, an argument could be made that it has, though I’d argue the exact way those are handled in canon, but not the point. The point is, abuse is not just something that you get to gloss over. If you want to include themes of abuse in the story, a story you are making available to the public for millions to see, then there needs to be a clear and obvious message being portrayed with including abuse in the story. Preferably, that abuse is bad, and can have majorly negative effects on anyone, especially children. We don’t always get that lucky, but whatever. 

But, from my months of watching the story of the DreamSMP, and trust me I’ve been here a long while, I haven’t seen C!Tommy’s abuse being handled very... well. I could, of course, be wrong in some aspects, and maybe be misremembering stuff since this dumpster fire has been happening for a year now, and feel free to correct me or bring up more points if you know something I don’t. But, I still think that overall, I have a point of view that should be considered. 

So basically, C!Tommy is an abuse victim, right? this is easy to see, very obvious in the way he acts and behaves. Or... is it? 

Abuse is a complex topic and one that, in real life, presents itself in all sorts of forms. Many abuse victims were raised in unloving homes and ended up becoming more vulnerable to abuse later on in life as a result of that. Others never properly learned how to express emotions or turn people down and got taken advantage of. Others were abused from the start, and develop various ways of coping and dealing with that, even ways that they might not be fully conscious of themselves. Abuse is not a one-way street, it could hardly be considered a street at all given how diverse and differing the people who experience it end up developing into are. 

So I’m not saying that, if C!Tommy were a real person, that he isn’t “Being traumatized enough” or that “Why isn’t he more like what I expect him to be like?”. That is not what I’m saying at all.

What I am saying, is that C!Tommy is a fictional character who exists within a narrative, a story. And in a good story, consistency is half the battle. I, as the audience consuming the story, need to be able to look at C!Tommy and pick up on and understand the effects abuse has had on him. And these effects need to be consistent, otherwise, as an audience member, I’m going to get confused and start having questions about why he acts one way here but doesn’t somewhere else.

I also need to be able to clearly see and understand, by being given narrative stepping stones, if something is changing for his character.

As the saying goes, “Show don’t tell”. C!Tommy can’t just say he “Goes to Puffy for Therapy” offhandedly one time, as a means of handwaving away why he doesn’t really consistently act as traumatized as he used to even though it’s literally only been a few weeks, or months at most. To explain how he can jump back between being really sad and depressed about something, to joking about Women and Twitter. It seems weird if he’s able to just so seamlessly, so effortlessly, go back and forth. Almost as if he’s bouncing between OOC and IC, but that’s a whole other discussion. 

Sure, C!Tommy is representing real mental health issues, but he is, ultimately a Fictional Character existing in a story. I need to be given signs, proof, foreshadowing, to explain when he has certain reactions and behaviours in order to understand his character. And these need to be consistent, otherwise we get plotholes and general confusion.

I criticize the inconsistency and the offscreen handwaving because it’s generally not very good writing. It’s the same reason I disliked Eret’s basically off-screen-sort-of-redemption-arc. It’s the same reason people dislike it when Villains of previous seasons suddenly come back as fully reformed good guys for seemingly no reason. There is no arc, no development, no progress is shown to us. 

Because when you’re telling a story about a character having some major change or developing in some way, or having an important character trait, if I don’t see it on screen, then it didn’t happen. How am I supposed to root for C!Tommy’s progress, or understand what he’s doing to progress, if a never see his coping mechanisms? His therapy appointments? 

You can’t just say something, or inconsistently portray something, and expect me to jump through hoops to connect these nearly transparent dots that keep getting thrown around. 

Show don’t tell. Show me Tommy getting better, because otherwise you’re just telling me he made character development, and showing me this completely different character as proof. No, last I remembered C!Tommy was having panic attacks and yelling when C!Dream was even mentioned. You can’t tell me that a day later he can interact normally after days of being in the prison and a month of being dead.

Or, if you are gonna have him flip flop back and forth, don’t have it be so sudden and jarring, give an explanation. Is he faking being fine? Does he have memory issues? C!Tommy doesn’t read to me as the type who’s good at suppressing his emotions, he wears his heart on his sleeve. So you’re going to have to explain, clearly, in a way that isn’t ambiguous, what’s happening with C!Tommy here.

You’re not really saying anything about the abuse C!Tommy goes through, if all of that trauma is automatically wiped from the story when the writers get too lazy or too scared to keep it in. At best, you are showing abuse and trauma for the sole purpose of showing it, with no intention of properly dealing with and addressing it in the story. At worst, you are basically just doing torture porn. 

Pain, Hurt, Trauma for the sake of it. Not with any goal in mind. Just for the drama of it, or to hurt the audience. 

And then your audience is just supposed to take that content in uncritically, and they gain no true understanding of how abuse victims survive and cope after their traumatic treatment.

Exile Arc sure did a good job at making C!Tommy suffer. But as soon as that arc ended, a lot of the stuff that happened in it went completely glossed over and unaddressed for a long while. That might have been fine in the lead-up to Doomsday, since a lot of plot stuff had been going on and stopping to handle C!Tommy’s issues might (Might is heavily doubted cause it certainly isn’t impossible) mess with the pacing a bit. But then after Doomsday, there isn’t really any excuse to put it off. Because nothing was really happening for a good while, and nobody had anything to do plotwise. 

And this became even more true with C!Dream being locked in Prison. Nothing was really happening, so what was stopping the story from taking the time to properly discuss and deal with this stuff?

Well, nothing really. So, the Hotel Arc happened. And oh boy, was it a mess. 

So, C!Tommy being angry at C!Dream for the abuse and trauma he has suffered at Dream’s hand isn’t an issue. It’s an incredibly common thing for victims to feel angry at their abusers, and to even go so far as to wish for vengeance against them in some way. And that’s a totally valid and fine feeling. 

You’re hurting, you’re scared, you’re in pain. I get that. When we’re hurting, we don’t always act rationally or healthily.

But, ultimately, that rage, and hurt, and want for vengeance is not a healthy thing to hold onto. In many circumstances with an abuse victim wanting to inflict pain back on their abuser, we run into various problems. 

For one, getting vengeance on your abuser is quite frequently going to give you more emotional pain than it will fulfilment. Especially if you are young, or are letting this want for vengeance take over your entire livelihood. It does you no good ultimately, to attempt to bring pain to the person who hurt you, because not only will you often be unsuccessful, you frequently won’t find emotional healing and stability in that. 

(The only exception to this rule being if ignoring them or moving on from them isn’t an option for you right now.)

Actions have consequences, and if you invest more time in that person who hurt you, then you have no time to work on yourself or the relationships around you. You have no time to heal, and this can become self-destructive.

Spending time around an abuser, as a victim, is in all likelihood just going to upset you more. You’re retraumatizing yourself by spending time around them, and as you make attempts to give them their comeuppance, you could possibly end up internalizing the methods they used on you, and just end up perpetuating the cycle of abuse again. 

And even if you have no problem with doing that to this particular person, consider how fully internalizing these abusive behaviours could affect your friends or family. Frequently, even when they don’t mean to, abuse victims can internalize the things that they went through and then use those same behaviours against people in their life later on. Being shitty to your support system because of what you went through isn’t a good move, for you or them.

Basically just, an Abuse Victim has more to gain from working on themselves while finding ways to heal and overcome their trauma and abuse, than they do spending their time and energy on the abuser. Its frequently unhealthy, distressing, and self-destructive to indulge in that too much.

(Of course, I don’t speak for everyone, but from what iIve looked into and seen, this is the healthiest method of actually healing from your abuse. That doesn’t mean you just... leave your abuser alone and never address or talk about what they did, you don’t let them get away with it, of course not. It just means you don’t waste your mental well being and time obsessing over someone, especially someone who has hurt you so much.

You deserve better than that. You deserve to heal.)

Now, let’s get back to C!Tommy. 

C!Tommy, instead of finding a proper means of coping with his issues (proper therapy, diagnosis for his issues, forming and maintaining healthy support systems, focusing on things he loves, etc) is shown to repeatedly focus back on C!Dream. When he was making Big Innit Hotel, it did seem like he was to an extent finding ways to cope with his shit. He was still kinda shitty and his hotel was not exactly made and run by the most morally great standards, though I suppose I can’t expect too much when he is a very traumatized teen and doesn’t really know what he’s doing. 

But, ultimately, this all fell apart when he got locked in Pandora’s Vault with C!Dream. Arguably, it was already falling apart the moment he decided to keep pursuing C!Dream even when he was locked up.

See, the thing is, C!Tommy can never just… have trauma. Having trauma that he can healthily and methodically work through is something that for him as a Character, is basically impossible. His character is an angry one, one built on spite and childishness, and who holds the mantle, unfortunately, of “Spunky Male Protagonist In A YA Novel”. So, his mental health issues can never just be a struggle he has to cope with, especially not when the DreamSMP can never seem to have anything between “A lot is happening right now omg” or “Literally nothing is happening and nobody is playing on the server at all omg”.

Instead, his issues have to be seen as a battle, and they fuel the narrative of the story. Him having been abused by C!Dream cannot just exist as a thing that he as a person has to work through slowly with the help of others around him. It has to be seen as this Epic Triumph Against Evil, another battle of Tommyinnit VS Dream on the DreamSMP, a classic Villain versus Hero fight.

This, of course, isn’t too great. By C!Tommy’s abuse plotline being framed in this manner, it makes it so that C!Tommy is constantly obsessing over his abuser and recklessly throwing himself into dangerous and triggering situations is some attempt at an “Epic Battle With Evil”, rather than this being treated like the self-harm it actually is. And yes, it is self-harm, a form of it. 

C!Tommy uses his trauma and issues as fuel for the story, making it so that its impossible for him to truly progress and a character, and the moment he does start growing, he has to get retraumatized again so he goes right back to where he was.

C!Tommy does not become a better person when he’s around C!Dream, nor does he find any form of fulfilment in being around him. He gets shaky and panicky at just the sight of him. He regularly has violent and explosive outbursts at just the mention of him. When C!Dream talks to him, he gets nervous and basically can’t help but listen due to conditioning he still listens to. 

When C!Tommy went to go visit C!Dream the first time in Pandora’s Vault, he brought with him stacks of TnT. He did it because he wanted to mimic what C!Dream had done to him in Exile, where he would take all of C!Tommy’s newly gained items and blow them up underground for dramatic effect. 

C!Dream did this for control over C!Tommy, to manipulate him, for his suffering.

And C!Tommy wanted to do this to C!Dream, because he was feeling vindictive. 

When C!Tommy got into the prison, he mocked C!Dream, hit him repeatedly, and tried to boss him around. He made him write ridiculous books and verbally berated the man. He did this in a feeble attempt to gain some feeling of control over C!Dream. This, evidently, did not work. At best his success was momentary. And this sense of achievement he gained was gained through projecting his abuse trauma onto someone else.

He repeated the cycle. 

After he got brought back from the dead and let out of the prison, he was much much worse. C!Tommy was now paranoid, anxious, constantly thinking about C!Dream, and had his mindset solely on getting revenge on him, by killing him. 

It got so bad, he ended up doing lacklustre “Exposure Therapy” to help himself not panic when he went into Pandora’s Vault to kill C!Dream. It got so bad he dragged C!Tubbo and C!Ranboo into this, putting them in danger and putting more pressure on another two teenagers’ shoulders. 

It got so bad, that Ghostbur died, C!Sam closed off even more, and C!Wilbur came back. 

Objectively, C!Tommy leaving C!Dream alone would be the better thing for everyone. And yet he keeps repeating the cycle. Because C!Tommy is not meant to grow, learn and heal. He is made to suffer. 

The problem is not so much showing an unhealthy depiction of a mentally ill or traumatized person. Because trauma and mental illness and the effects of abuse are not always pretty, and they shouldn’t always have to be portrayed and pretty or sympathetic to be accurate. 

It becomes a problem when you get this depiction of C!Tommy’s coping being presented uncritically to an audience of a lot of underaged and young people. 

Nobody in canon, whether they be adults or fellow teens, has ever tried to question C!Tommy’s methods for coping. C!Ranboo and C!Tubbo just limply went along with his plans for Exposure Therapy with no consideration of if this was a good idea. No adults really offer to genuinely step in and help C!Tommy deal with his shit, and the ones that do leave him or get corrupted in some way, often leaving him with more trauma as they do. 

C!Puffy’s therapy methods are dubious at best, and the most we ever see of her actually helping C!Tommy is her humouring his toxic behaviours, and C!Tommy making offhanded mentions to vague therapists appointments we never see. 

C!Technoblade stopped giving a shit as soon as C!Tommy walked off the screen. C!Wilbur was dead, and now that he isn’t he certainly isn’t helping C!Tommy. C!Phil isn’t C!Tommy’s dad and has no obligation to do anything for him as a result. C!Ranboo has the backbone of a chocolate eclair. C!Tubbo is too busy repressing his own trauma to help C!Tommy with his. C!Sam is being ruled by the prison and C!Quackity. C!Quackity has become an Ancap. 

Nobody in this story is a reliable or trusted person to C!Tommy, who could properly tell him his methods are unhealthy and give him better alternatives. And as a result, nobody is able to tell the audience that C!Tommy is wrong 

Unreliable Narrators are only effective when the narrative in some way has their unreliableness pointed out or proven to the audience. If you go into a story with the assumption that everybody watching will be able to see past C!Tommy’s POV and not take him at face value, then you are naive. Especially when this fandom is made up of many teens and children. 

I only know C!Tommy’s methods are unhealthy because I care way too much and do my research. A vast majority of the world doesn’t have the same understanding and education on these topics, especially not children and teenagers. A good chunk of people, especially neurodivergent and mentally ill people, could very well take the story at face value and automatically assume that what Tommy’s doing is actually a good coping mechanism because they don’t know any better.

There is no clarification or safety net for preventing misinterpretation. And being of the opinion that “Well, they should know better than to trust a bunch of Minecraft Youtubers for this stuff” or “We can’t expect them to be psychologists! You expect too much” is just… not helping. 

Because I shouldn’t have to explain why children and teenagers, especially those that are using these people to cope, are not always going to make level-headed and common-sense decisions. They will be influenced by these Content Creators, whether we think it’s “Stupid” or not. 

And I can say with certainty that, while yes, this might be a bit much to expect from a bunch of British/American white guys who play Minecraft to handle, may I also point out that nobody fucking made them put this stuff in the story. There are ways to write a story without stepping outside of your realm of true understanding. Nobody begged these MCYTs to go and make torture porn for a 16 year old, nobody asked them to touch on topics they have no fucking clue about. 

They put that in themselves. And we have the right to point out the problems and flaws in it, and criticize them for not handling this stuff better. 

You don’t start applying for a job you don’t meet the requirements for. You don’t start an expensive project you can’t finish. 

You don’t include elements in a story you aren’t willing to fully go through with and address in a proper and sensitive way. 

#hope this makes sense #dreamsmp roleplay #dream smp critical #dreamsmp #dream smp #character analysis #c!tommy #c!dream #tw abuse discussion #tw abuse #negativity #dsmp critical #critical dsmp

[torgawl]

if there's one xie lian headcanon i dislike is that he was depressed during the time he was waiting for hua cheng. in any way, shape or form, i just don't think that fits into who he is or his development throughout the books at all?!

don't get me wrong, xie lian did suffer a lot in the past and for a long time he did push back and tried to repress all those feelings. to the point of becoming the xie lian that gets introduced to us at the begining of tgcf. he appears and we question his position to the way others treat him. is he just incredibly confident or is this the way he learned how to face the world and move on? and we do get that answer. and we do see him face his past. and most importantly, rediscovering himself and what being alive is about. we see him rebuild a relationship with the friends he thought he had lost, we watch him be, for once, on the loving end of somebody else. we see devotion, adoration, we see care, patience and understanding. and those things change him. otherwise he wouldn't have said to hua cheng 'only after having met you did I rediscover that it's such a simple thing to be happy'.

i feel like what people misunderstand is that hua cheng wasn't his happiness and xie lian's character doesn't revolve around hua cheng. yes, their story interlaces quite early on. hua cheng decided to live for xie lian. hua cheng gives xie lian what he lacked. but xie lian didn't only receive a romantic partner. he was able to overcome his past and get a new outlook in life. he was able to become a better version of himself. for him and for others.

of course, hua cheng got almost ripped away from him as easily and as fast as he came into his life. i'm not saying it didn't impact him or that he didn't feel insecure or doubtful at any moment in time. those feelings are only natural if you cherish someone. but the fact he learnt of hua cheng's dedication and devotion, that he wasn't alone all those centuries, that the other did his utmost best to be by his side and to contribute to his happiness and well being? those things have to had mattered. and i don't think the xie lian at the end of the book would ever waste his time pitying himself because of it. if anything, i think remembering hua cheng would motivate him to retribute what the other did for him. and the thing is, we do see this. the only insight we have is xie lian being as devoted and as hopeful and as loving as hua cheng did to him. and isn't that part of the beauty of the story? isn't that almost a fulcral point in all of it? that xie lian's time to be on the giving end came and that it wasn't a burden or a task but something natural between the two of them? that they would always be there for each other? that their relationship might have started from a place of distance and devotion but it was never one-sided?!

their relationship is probably one of the healthiest - if not the healthiest - representations of a couple in media i have ever seen. and there's really no other way to look at their dynamic. they bring out the best in each other. their relationship is so good that they had space for personal growth and their inherent value isn't tied to one another. so it feels very reducing to try and make it seem that they have some sort of co-dependency that xie lian would ever go back to such a negative state of mind because he had to wait for his lover for a certain ammount of time. i'm not saying with this that that can't happen in healthy relationships. the brain is something complex. it's more that we have no motive to believe that is the case from what has been showed to us about them and especially regarding xie lian, who is the main character and narrator of the story. of whom we have first hand information. and although unreliable at some points, we have no reason to doubt his reciprocity towards hua cheng.

#of course this is my opinion #this came a little out of nowhere but i read this headcanon some time ago and i just can't put my head around it #i really don't think that's the xie lian we are presented to #and i don't thing that type of angst fits tgcf or hualian at all #xie lian isn't just a miserable guy #he's more than that and he has views and aspirations and reasons to live beyond hua cheng #i feel like him getting to rediscover that is the point of the books #his connections with others and feeling like part of something again #but yeah #idk what this is #it's no meta post just a ramble 😂 #bye

[silversatoru]

Hi, I just finished burdens and OML 🥺🥺🥺

May I request some sort of megumi x reader continuous where the reader ends up becoming a powerful sorcerer (or a cursed spirit👀 whichever you’d like tbh) megumi and the reader somehow cross paths again a little while after the break up and he witnesses her fighting for the first time? I just know that boy would fall in love all over again but she’s moved on and he feels guilty and just angst? And maybe fluff idk. I’m new to requests so I hope I did this right, thank you so much❤️❤️

burdens pt. 2

a/n: hello, part two of this not-so-lovely story is finally here. every single one of you is allowed one free punch to my face for taking so long to write it,,, i’m so sorry. this is its fourth rewrite and it got a little darker than expected but it’s finally done,, i hope you enjoy <3

fushiguro megumi x f!reader

synopsis: you finally see megumi again at the kyoto sister school goodwill event

tags/warnings: angst, some graphic depictions of violence, character death

word count: 3k

“Do you know how tired I am of watching the people I love die? Things would be so much easier for me if you just stayed the fuck away”.

Megumi’s bitter words were on repeat in your head — the harshness of his voice leaving a hollow feeling carved into your chest. Tear-stained cheeks and shaky breathes had become your new normal these past few days. Tight, sharp pains filled your empty stomach, waves of nausea coursing through your body.

You’ve had no motivation to get out of bed lately, nevermind to shower or cook yourself a proper meal — honestly, for all you cared you could rot away in your blanket filled bed. You checked your phone like a fiend too, thinking that eventually, a miraculous text from Megumi would appear and make everything better. It never did.

He’d completely ghosted you since that dreadful day, and that hurt more than anything. You’d held onto a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't meant what he said. But as the days continued to pass, your hope quickly dwindled.

To say your current state was shameful was putting it lightly, and you were embarrassed at how poorly this was effecting you. You liked to think that you were strong, motivated, independent — that you didn't need some douchebag just to feel happy. But truth be told, breakups are fucking hard, and it's okay to not be okay for a while — or at least that's what you kept telling yourself.

So when you were trudging miserably down the street to your local convenience store and you saw a familiar pair of jujutsu sorcerers, you wanted desperately to sink into the ground. You made a quick turn to head to a different shop, but it was too late, you were spotted.

“y/n! hey!” Two lighthearted voices sang through the air, filling your ears and making your heart clench in your chest.

You turned around and anxiously approached them, your unkempt hair and baggy eyes sending looks of concern across their faces.

“Hey girl, you good?” Nobara shot you a sideways glance, Maki raising a suspicious eyebrow.

“Yeah, uh, ice cream,” You croaked, speaking for the first time in a couple days, “I’m here for ice cream, that’s all”.

“Yeah, but why do you look like a fucking zombie?” Maki pushed her eyeglasses further up her nose, her sharp eyes looking you up and down.

“Ah, he didn’t say anything to you guys, did he?” You shook your head, heavy eyes falling to ground as you refused to meet theirs.

“Don’t tell me…” Nobara’s face contorted, “Did he break up with you?”

You nodded, a pitiful chuckle falling from your lips, because if you didn’t laugh, you’d start sobbing right now.

Maki threw her arm around your shoulder, pulling you to her side and ushering you into the store, “It’s okay, men suck. Hang out with us today”.

Meanwhile, Nobara trailed quickly behind the two of you, anger seething from her teeth and steam practically billowing out of her ears.

“That fuckhead! I swear I’ll fuck his shit up big time, he won’t even know what fucking hit him. I knew that boy was stupid but shit, this is a whole new low for him! I-,” She continued to ramble and rant as Maki led you through the store, picking out drinks and snacks to help ease your pain.

The three of you ended up in a nearby park, sitting around a small picnic table and gorging on the massive array of snacks. Lighthearted conversation and lots of food make your chest ache a little less, and you even found yourself laughing and chatting as if things were normal. You’d told the two of them all about that day, about Megumi’s irrational words and his tragic breakdown that led to some kind of fucked-up break up sex.

“So, how are we gonna get back at him? Egg his car? Put bleach in his shampoo? Bugs in his food? God - it’s a shame his dad is dead because from the pictures I’ve seen that man was FINE and revenge sex—,”

“Nobara,” Maki shot her idiot girlfriend a dirty look, and the orange-haired girl quickly shut her mouth, “As much as I support any idea that revolves around ruining a man’s day, I don’t think revenge is the healthiest coping strategy here”.

You were tracing your eyes around Maki’s face as she spoke, and you found yourself carefully inspecting her purple glasses that rested softly on the bridge of her nose. And that’s when it clicked, the light bulb ignited in your head and you knew exactly what you wanted to do.

“Maki,” your voice was urgent, “You don’t have cursed energy, you can’t even see them without your glasses!”

Her face twisted and her nose scrunched, a look of distaste in her eyes, “I know?”

“So, you could teach me, right? You could help me learn how to use some cursed weapons?”

“Yeah! You have to Maki, then she can beat his ass with me,” Nobara chimed in.

“That’s not a bad idea actually,” Maki’s mouth formed an evil grin, “Could you imagine his face after watching you exorcise a curse?”

The three of your conversed for a bit longer, speculating and potting about training, weapons, and your very own pair of curse-seeing glasses. By the end of the night you had a plan, and a pretty good one if you say so yourself.

From that day on, teary eyes and achy hearts were a thing of the past, not because it was that easy to get over Megumi, but because Maki didn’t even allow you the time to feel dismal anymore. You met her everyday after classes without fail, and everyday she would train you until you thought your arms would fall off. After months and months of sore muscles, sweat, and the occasional injury, you were convinced that Maki was incapable of feeling pity or remorse for other living things. Every time you speculated about quitting, she’d set a fire under you, unafraid to remind you how weak you still were.

The green-haired sorcerer had ultimately decided that you worked best dual-armed -- a long, lightweight blade in each hand. On your final day of training, she officially gifted the two swords to you, as a “graduation” gift.

Skill-wise, you were by no means as incredible Maki, but you definitely held your own, and the progress you’d made in a mere 8 months was astronomical. They’d introduced you to a strange silver-haired man at some point, Gojo, who had taken not only an interest in you but also your plot against your ex-boyfriend. He cackled to himself when you told him why you were here, going on and on about how priceless Megumi’s face would be when he saw you.

Your appearance was highly anticipated, so why not debut at one of the biggest jujutsu events all year? The Kyoto Sister School Goodwill Event — Gojo thought it was the most perfect idea.

You tried hard to exude confidence as you walked at Nobara and Maki’s sides, but behind your arrogant facade your stomach was twisting itself into knots. Truthfully, you were scared to see Megumi again after so long.

And when your eyes met with his as you walked into the meeting room, you thought you just might pass out. You thought you were ready for this — but the look of complete shock, fear, and anger on his face as he looked you up and down almost made you regret all of it.

“What’s going on?” Megumi’s words were incredibly calculated, an edge on his voice.

His question was pointless, however, because judging by the fact that you were wearing a jujutsu tech uniform and had two swords sheathed at your sides could only mean one thing. Your hair was longer now too, and your frame was wider with an extra layer of muscle from all the training — you almost looked like a different person.

“I’ve been training with Maki, I-,” You spoke up to explain yourself, but you weren’t even granted the opportunity.

“No, no, Maki, what the hell did you do?” His eyes were shaky and laced with concern.

“I only did what she asked me to. I’m not the one who gave her a complex about being weak, you did that,” Maki shrugged, “and she’s not your girlfriend anymore dude, what do you care?”

Absolute confliction flashed through his eyes, uncertainty and madness swirling in his irises, “You’re right, I don’t care. Let me know when the event is starting”.

He took a sharp turn out of the room and let the door slam a little too hard behind him. The sound of his icey voice and the door shutting with unkind force was all too reminiscent of the night you broke up. Burying every emotion you had deep into your stomach you gave Maki a small, reassuring smile and plopped down on one of the couches.

“Alright, so when does this thing start?”

after the start of the event

Fighting the Kyoto students was proving to be much harder than you initially expected, but you were holding your own at Maki’s side. The two of you had easily taken down a small, kind, blue haired girl named Miwa, and now you were watching an emotional battle between Maki and her sister unfold.

Wait here, she’d told you, I want to do this one myself. Take some notes on my form and watch our backs, okay?

Okay, you’d said, a little confused but ultimately finding a nice spot up in a thick tree to carefully observe from. Maki was truly a force of nature, and it seemed like the other girl never actually had a chance of winning. It was honestly only a few minutes before the small black, haired girl was slumped against a tree and Maki was making her way back to you. Things were looking good, two of Kyoto’s student’s were down already and adrenaline was pumping through your veins.

You couldn't quite shake the awful feeling churning in your stomach though, and Megumi’s face was haunting your thoughts. You hadn’t seen him since before the event started, when an odd, pink haired boy jumped out of a box and freaked everyone out. Nobara had later explained who he was and what had happened, and you wondered how many awful surprises Gojo had planned today -- first you, then that.

A small rumble rippled under your feet, and Maki grabbed your arm as you watched a giant brown vine lurch it’s way out of the ground a few hundred yards in the distance.

“That technique doesn’t belong to anyone from Kyoto,” She shot you a look of concern and determination, “let’s go check it out”.

You gave her a firm nod, the two of you making your way towards the horrifying wooden vines. By the time you managed to arrive, Inumaki was already down and so was a dark-haired boy from Kyoto. A muscular, white curse with black markings and wooden branches for eyes was moments away from taking Megumi on all by himself — thank god you got here in time to help.

Megumi, however, was horrified when he saw you jump over the tall roofed building with Maki at your side. He’d just watched two incredible sorcerers get their shit rocked by this curse, there was no way you would stand a chance against this thing. But before he could even try to stop you, you and the green-haired sorcerer were flying through the air and taking shots at the curse. The two of you worked perfectly in sync, the months of daily training finally paying off.

He watched with intent glazed over his eyes, his heart threatening to lurch up his throat. You were a spectacle, and he always thought you were beautiful but seeing you now with dirt and blood stained clothes, cursed weapons gripped firmly in your hands, you truly were ethereal. He hated it though, he hated that he was falling in love with you all over again, especially under these circumstances. Guilt and anxiety was eating away at him — why did you have to get involved? Why couldn’t you have just stayed away like he told you to?

He was quick to join the two of you, sticking close to your side to protect you if need be — but, even with all three of you together the curse still had the upper hand. Maki had been swatted to the side, her back slamming hard against one of the tiled roofs and knocking her unconscious. It was down to just the two of you now, beads of sweat causing your hair to uncomfortably stick to the back of your neck. This was something that Maki’s training could have never prepared you for.

Megumi was getting tired, taking one wrong step and losing his footing momentarily. The curse saw this as a perfect window of opportunity, sending a spiral of vines and branches hurling for Megumi. It was fast, but the adrenaline coursing through you helped you to move faster, launching yourself through the air and intercepting the attack. The barky, wooden vines twisted violently through your stomach, shooting clean through your back and ripping a violent scream from your throat.

It hurt so bad, feeling the plant wriggle through your organs and tear you apart from the inside out. The curse retracted his vine a few moments later, leaving your mangled body to fall helplessly to the roof. Tears rippled from your eyes, your body shaking and seizing as you coughed up a few sprays of blood.

A long, strong pair of arms scooped you up instantaneously, and your head was resting against a firm chest — probably Megumi, but you didn’t quite have the energy to open your eyes to check.

“We’ll take it from here, get her to Ieiri!” You heard a pair of deep voices yelling to Megumi, but it was too foggy and far away for you to understand what they were saying.

Megumi was seething with anger, moving as fast as his feet could carry him and he ran through the school. As you waved in and out of consciousness, you batted open your eyes, stealing quick glances at his twisted features and — were those tears on his face?

“I- I’m sorry Megumi… I think I finally understand what you were so afraid of all this time,” Your voice was barely a croak, “when I saw it coming, I couldn’t stomach the thought of having to watch you die. I suddenly just thought I would do anything to keep you safe”.

Yeah, those were definitely tears, you could see them a little clearer now. His eyes were red and his cheeks were dried with salty streaks.

“You’re so thick-headed,” he mumbled, his grip around you tightening slightly as he picked up his pace, “I wish you would have made that realization before there was a giant hole in your stomach”.

“Me too,” You hummed, but you weren’t really in any pain anymore. The pain had subdued to a sweet warm sensation inside your stomach, and an intoxicating sleepiness was washing over your head, “I was angry for a long time, but I’m not mad at you anymore, Gumi. I hope you can forgive me too”.

You offered him a tiny smile, but the blood leaking from between you keeps made it anything but sweet.

“There’s nothing to forgive you for, you never did anything wrong,” He spoke quickly, his voice quiet and cracking.

“No, but we’re not gonna make it to Ieiri, I know that and so do you,” You fell into a violent fit of coughs again, sputtering red splatters all over the front of his uniform.

“Shut up”.

“It’s not your fault, none of it was ever your fault,” you choked out once the fit of coughs subsided — and you weren’t just talking about yourself, you were talking about all of the unfortunate tragedies he’d witnessed throughout this life.

“And you’re allowed to be selfish sometimes, you know? I hope that when you meet someone, your soulmate even, you can allow yourself to love them with every part of you”.

The words painfully left your lips, but you meant every single one of them. You were starting to realize that you and Megumi were never meant to make it to the end. You weren’t his soulmate, you were here to help him grow, so that when he did finally meet them he’d be ready.

“You deserve to be loved, Megumi,” You looked up at him with big eyes, but his face was starting to get really fuzzy now.

Your fingers were going numb and your mouth felt like it was filled with sand. You were so tired, letting your eyes flutter shut and your head rest softly against Megumi’s chest. You felt him stop running, you could even hear him screaming at you — but it was too far away for you to hear. You drifted closer and closer to eternal sleep, your soul swollen with love for the boy who broke your heart.

Megumi didn’t even feel sad when you stopped breathing in his arms — he just felt hollow. More empty and broken than he’d ever thought possible. You were the most incredible person he’d ever met — someone with extreme motivation, who acted with no fear or hesitation, who always had love to give, even when he didn’t deserve it. He’d never forget you, not for as long as he’d live anyway.

Even when he did meet a new girl a few years later — a compassionate, brave girl, who reminded him a lot of you — he wouldn’t forget. He wouldn’t forget your words and for the first time in his life he’d let his walls down for her. He’d allow himself to truly love, and be loved in return.

And maybe you were right, maybe he did deserve to be loved like this, because god, he finally feels whole again when she’s around. He just wishes you were still here so he could say thank you.

#megumi angst #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi x reader #angst #fushiguro megumi x you #fushiguro x reader #megumi x you #megumi fushiguro angst #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsukaisen #jjk x y/n #jjk angst #jjk x reader #jjk oneshot #this is sad i’m sorry

[lipstickstainz]

five times - s. r.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader Summary: A collection of the times Spencer says “I love you” without saying it, and the one time he actually does. Warnings: tooth rotting fluff Word Count: 2k, it’s a short one A/N: happy new year guys! since you wanted this to be fluffy, here it is! hope you enjoy! gif not mine.

Spencer didn't know what he had been expecting when Hotch had announced to the team that they would have young additions. He had assumed that the newcomer would be pretty serious so that he would be taken seriously, and that he would be very reserved at the beginning to get to know the team first and not offend anyone. But he definitely wasn't expecting you.

On your first day, you showed up to work in a knee-length summer dress and high Converse, which threw him off right from the start. While JJ and Emily always wore something office appropriate, you didn't seem to mind catching everyone's eye. With an infectious confidence and a big smile on your face, you introduced yourself to the others. While most of the team looked at you as if you were from another star - except for Penelope Garcia, of course, she was incredibly happy to finally know another colorful bird in the midst - Spencer liked that you stayed true to yourself. No matter what anyone else thought of you.

You went through life with an ease that was quite atypical of your profession. It almost reminded Spencer of Garcia, but only almost. You didn't have to look away when someone showed you photos of dead bodies. He sometimes caught himself worrying that the job would eventually take away your cheerfulness.

"'DO NOT TOUCH' would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille“, you said as you sat in the bullpen. Your desk bordered his, so Spencer only had to look up from his files to give you an amused look.

"Where did you come up with that?", he asked, a smile curling his lips.

You shrugged before looking at him. "I don't know. But it would be pretty disturbing, wouldn't it? How fortunate that it can't happen to me."

Spencer tilted his head. "Because you're not blind?"

"Because I can't read braille“, you replied with a grin, and he laughed out loud, drawing everyone's attention. Spencer smiled briefly at them and motioned for them to turn back to their work so you could continue talking undisturbed.

He leaned a little in your direction before whispering to you.

"Your head must be a wonderful place to live in."

-

It was incredibly loud and the air was too stuffy to be able to grasp a clear thought. But maybe it was just the alcohol the bartender was pouring out like Penelope had certain nicknames regarding Derek. But it also seemed to be Garcia's goal to get the entire team drunk on her birthday. She had round after round coming to your booth, repeating "one of you is dancing on the table today" several times. You were sure it would be Penelope herself. Or JJ.

You were enjoying yourself with Emily on the dance floor of the club. You were incredibly warm, which was probably 75% due to the alcohol you had already drunk. You were wearing tight jeans and a backless, loose top, and yet your skin was so hot that the clothes almost stuck to you. At first you had worried that Emily and you were too different to become friends, but one day she showed up on your doorstep after an exhausting case and stayed all night. It had bonded you together.

In a quiet moment, you looked to the others and Derek raised an arm, signaling you were ready for the next round of shots. You grabbed Emily's arm and, singing, you squeezed through the crowd toward the table.

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends“, you sang, and you dropped into the empty seat next to Spencer, who looked at you with amusement. "Make it last forever, friendship never eeeend“, you sang on, leaning back in Spencer's direction without touching him. When he tried to put his arm around you to pull you close, you pushed him away. "I'm sweaty and sticky, Spence. I don't think you're into that."

But Spencer reached for your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours before pulling you onto his lap. His breath brushed your face and you smelled the alcohol in it. "I don't care. I love touching you."

-

"There's a documentary about the formation of the universe and black holes in theaters tonight“, Spencer said. The team was on its way back from a case in Dallas, and while the others were resting or listening to music, you two were playing chess. Not that it was fair, but you liked the challenge and Spencer finally had someone to play with again. "I was wondering if you would like to join me. This case has been exhausting and I think we could use a distraction." He asked without looking up from the chessboard. His face turned glowing red, which you didn't notice because you were trying not to go checkmate in three moves.

You moved your queen before you looked at him. His shoulders were tense and he was breathing shallowly. Spencer bit the inside of his lower lip nervously. "I'd love to“, you smiled, and at your reply he seemed to visibly relax.

Spencer picked you up at home after you showered and got ready. You were wearing jeans and a loose sweater. Up until that point, Spencer had been sure you couldn't get any more beautiful, but when you hugged him with a sparkle in your eye and a warmth in your smile, he wasn't sure anymore.

"Origin of the universe and black holes?", you assured yourself as you stood outside the movie theater. Spencer nodded, his hands buried in his pants pockets. You smirked. "You have to promise me one thing, though."

"And that would be?", he asked as he paid for the tickets and put yours in your hand. You smiled at him.

"You have to promise me that you will tell me every one of your clever thought processes. I want to hear every comment you make, all right? Even if people around us complain."

It was the second time Spencer and you had done something together outside of work, and you enjoyed his company very much, which of course was partly because you'd had a crush on him ever since he'd once explained something to you about his case that you hadn't understood. Spencer had explained it to you as well as he could, and when you thanked him afterwards, he didn't know what hit him. No one cared about his clever anecdotes or explanations, and the fact that you had even thanked him for it made his heart beat faster. Just as it did now.

Spencer looked at you, pleased. "We're the only ones at the movies, Y/N. No one's going to complain."

"Then you can explain everything I don't understand at your leisure."

You entered the movie theater and took your seats. He handed you the packet of popcorn. "You are my partner in crime. You are my favorite person."

-

"The exhibit was very interesting“, you said as you left the museum. It hadn't been your first visit, but visiting it with Spencer was a very different experience. You liked that he had something to say about most of the exhibits. "Thank you for being here with me."

Spencer smiled down at you. "Well, actually, I asked you to go here with me. So I have to say thank you."

"But I wouldn't have been here tonight if you hadn't asked me. So, thanks for that."

Your apartment wasn't far away, and with each step you hoped the evening wouldn't end just yet. As you stood in front of your apartment complex, Spencer nervously stepped from one foot to the other. "I had a really nice evening“, he confessed.

"Me too." If you didn't want the evening to end now, you had to take the plunge. "I'd never been on a date to a museum before."

Spencer's eyes widened and for a moment you feared you had misinterpreted everything. The looks, the stories and the touches. But Spencer stopped your train of thought. "Neither have I. Well, I had been to a museum before, of course, but it had never been dates, and I'm glad I was there with you“, he babbled, blushing, which made you smile. You liked that you could read his feelings from his face. "Um, maybe we can meet again tomorrow? For dinner? If that's not too much for you?"

You didn't answer him, but put your arms around his neck and gently pulled him down to you. In his face you searched for signs that he didn't want this, and when you couldn't find any, you gently placed your lips on his.

At first he didn't return the kiss, which you attributed to his surprise. He stiffened and it took a moment for the synapses in his brain to realize what exactly was happening. You were kissing him. And you had kissed him first. When his mind started thinking again, his hands settled on your waist and he pulled you a little closer to him to deepen the kiss. When you broke away from each other, he had a gleam in his eyes.

"I recorded a short film about quantum physics that was on TV“, you whispered, opening your eyes while he kept his still closed. "If you like, you can come upstairs with me and we can watch it together."

The short movie played as background music while you sat on your couch and kissed until your lips were swollen and your lungs were gasping for air.When he broke away from you for a moment, all he could do was whisper.  "I'm addicted to you."

-

You had tried to keep your relationship a secret, and had failed miserably.

It had taken a psychopath, a hostage, and an explosion for you to fall into each other's arms and for Spencer to kiss you stormily in front of the team. His fingers dug into your skin and would surely leave bruises, but you didn't care. You had escaped the explosion by a hair and Spencer couldn't help but thank all the gods and pull you close to him as you stood in front of him.

"I thought you had been in the building“, he breathed as he gently pushed you off of him to look at you. "I thought I'd lost you."

A tear rolled down your cheek, which he wiped away with his thumb. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Spence." He pressed another kiss to your mouth before someone cleared their throat. The team stood just a few steps away from you, watching you, which was pretty embarrassing. Except for Hotch, everyone looked pleased and delighted, but you also didn't miss Hotch pressing a bill into JJ's hand.

"That's why you didn't want to go on that blind date I set you up with“, Derek grinned, putting a brotherly arm around Spencer's shoulders. "Pretty boy has a girlfriend."

Nothing ever felt so good as sharing a bed with Spencer after that day. You were half on top of him, he had his arm wrapped around you, and your legs were tangled under the covers. His fingers stroked your bare back and yours danced across his chest. He took a deep breath.

"Are you all right?", you asked, looking at him.

He swallowed. "I know we haven't been together that long and it's probably way too soon, but I almost lost you today and I can't keep it to myself any longer." Gently, he pushed you off of him and propped himself up on his elbow so he had to look down at you. "You're not just my favorite person, Y/N. You inspire me every day and you complete me in every way. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with." He put his hand to your cheek and you snuggled against his warm skin. "I love you, Y/N."

- tags below -

@mollygetssherlockcoffee​ / @averyhotchner​ / @ravenclawrandomness​ 

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid one shot #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #derek morgan #Emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #aaron hotchner #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut