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curvynerdfan · 3 years

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Danny Zuko would never

Hey y’all! I am so sorry I haven’t posted in so long. Life drug me down into a routine of chaos to be quite honest. I can’t remember if this was inspired by a request or not so I apologize if I have forgotten to tag you.

Jax x Reader

Friends to Lovers, Sandy level makeover

Warnings: cursing, mentions of addiction

Y/N was having a blast! Her and Gemma decided to drive into San Jose to shop for new clothes. Y/N worked with a non-profit medical assistance center in the pediatrics wing. She was off for the next four days and tomorrow was the Charming Fall Festival. Gemma had been really struggling lately, with her and Clay’s breakup and worrying about Jax now that he was President.

Y/N was so happy Gemma asked her to join in on the shopping trip. The club mom had a habit of pushing the young nurse out of her comfort zone. Y/N was almost always in scrubs, jeans and oversized clothes. Not that it was a bad wardrobe, it worked for her purposes. But Y/N wanted to be daring and dress up a bit. Honestly she just wanted to catch Jax’s eye. Maybe even have a Sandra Dee at the Summer Carnival moment.

Gemma said that Jax and Y/N were a pair of idiots, perfect for each other. Neither one realized they were interested in each other. No matter how much the people around them pointed it out the two remained oblivious. So when Y/N told Gemma that she was ready to do something bold, Gemma was over the moon with excitement.

Y/N had never been the one to go over the top. Especially with her looks, but at this point she didn’t know what else to do to get Jax’s attention. She had money to burn and was ready to up her wardrobe. Gemma said if she wanted to get the title of Old Lady that they were gonna go all out.

Y/N was suddenly very grateful that Jax insisted on sending Tig and Happy with them because she was not going to want to drive after the day Gemma planned out. Tig as Gemma’s go-to bodyguard and Happy as Y/N’s, all piled up into a Teller-Morrow rental.

Gemma said that meant Jax already thought of her as his Old Lady, “Sending an enforcer, only happens for the President’s girl.”

“Then why doesn’t he ask me out or claim me as his, huh? If he really thought that way then he’d do something!” Y/N protested

“He cares for you and sent Happy! Make him step up and prove himself.” Gemma lectured.

Tig chimed in, “Sorry hun, Gem is right. Sgt. at Arms never gets sent with a random chick for a girls day, no matter how good a friend she is.”

Happy let out a resounding hum in affirmation. Y/N gawked at the first shop they pulled up to at Gemma’s demand. It was a very nice vintage clothing and accessory store.

“I’ll buy you the first ten pieces of jewelry you find that fit a president’s Old Lady.” Gemma paused to laugh at Y/N’s shocked expression, “Move it or lose it sweet cheeks, offer ends in thirty minutes!”

Y/N squealed and grabbed Happy’s arm tugging him along. While he was a man of few words, Y/N had a knack for deciphering his gruff responses and gestures. She knew he’d be great at helping her pick out some goodies. She’d hold a pair of earrings up to her face or model a chunky bracelet and depending on Happy’s response she’d add it to her basket or throw it away.

By the time she met Gemma and Tig at the register she had collected a skull ring, a chain belt, crow studded earrings, a crescent moon necklace, a crow skull ring, an obsidian oval faced ring, a snake necklace, a pair of silver hoops, diamond stud earrings, and black dangle earrings. Gemma pried over the basket in judgement before giving a sharp nod and motioning Y/N to hand the items to the cashier.

Y/N was happy to see that Gemma had found a few items to purchase for herself as well. While they were checking out Y/N saw several studded belts, a new mirror for her vanity, some vintage ashtrays and a gorgeous green glass vase. Gemma demanded that the boys load the car with her new purchases and locked arms with Y/N before strutting out of the shop.

Next was a gigantic department store. Gemma dragged her through the store and repeatedly threw clothes at Happy and Tig to carry to a dressing room. By the time Gemma was done each woman had fifty or so items to try on and there were even a few things for the men to try on as well.

They would all try on a complete outfit, step outside of the room, do a little spin or strut(stand and pout in Happy’s case), receive critiques or hype and then repeat. The boys ran out quickly and ended up lounging on a couch and offering opinions when asked. Gemma told Y/N that the goal was sophisticated grunge. She still wasn’t sure she understood, but she did feel very hot in everything they decided to buy.

Next was shoes.Y/N decided to only buy four pairs and let everyone have a say. Happy found Y/N the best pair of riding boots for women, Tig picked out some dagger-like heels, Gemma picked a pair of knee high heeled boots and Y/N picked white sneakers that matched the ones she bought Jax a few years ago.

Last stop was a nail salon. Gemma sent Y/N straight to the back room to get waxed. When Y/N gave her a look and squawked at her, Gemma just twirled her finger and said to “do what needs to be done”. When Y/N stumbled back out of the room, Gemma had a mimosa waiting for her.

Y/N couldn’t commit to long nails or a dark color due to her job but it was still nice to be pampered after such a long and challenging day. While getting their nails done, the girls talked through what Y/N should wear the next night for the carnival. The three pros of MC life gave Y/N a few pointers on how to own being an old lady. This still made Y/N scoff and worry that everyone was wrong.

-----------------------

The carnival was finally here and Jax was excited for some much needed time off with his family and friends. Gemma wanted to watch Abel for the night. This meant he could really relax and let loose tonight. No worries about staying out too late for his little man or limiting his alcohol or weed. It was gonna be great.

At least, til he saw Y/N walking up, “What the hell are you wearing?”

Y/N looked different, that’s for sure. She knew she didn’t look bad though. She had on a tight black wrap-around long-sleeve crop top, ripped jeans with fishnets underneath and the white sneakers she picked out. She even threw on some of the goodies that Gemma bought her. She cinched her waist in with the chain belt, the crow studs and skull ring added to the alure. Her hair was curled and she did her makeup, highlighting her sparkling eyes with black eyeliner and her plump lips with a deep red lipstick.

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked, holding back remorse for dressing up.

“You look like a, shit, who are you dressed up for?” Jax questioned.

“Why does it have to be for someone? Can’t I look hot without it being for someone,” Y/N put a hand on her hip, beginning to get pissed.

“You look like you’re trying to lock a member down! Got your eyes set on one of the guys huh? You’ve been hanging around Happy a lot lately, trying to be his old lady?” He prodded.

“Dammit Jax! I had my eyes set on you but I guess I can��t be your old lady unless I am pining desperately for you to rescue me! Maybe I need a stalker or some form of addiction for you to realize I like you” Y/N screamed, stomping off.

Y/N knew that was uncalled for but her anger got the better of her but not even Danny Zuko would pull this kind of douche move. It definitely wasn’t going the way she thought it would. While she didn’t necessarily believe the others when they said Jax was interested, it hurt that he was so offended by her looks. Her eyes began to sting as she pondered why she even considered making a move.

Jax lost his breath when Y/N yelled at him. He quickly got it back when a ringed had slammed into the back of his head. When he whipped his head around he saw a pissed off Gemma staring him down.

“Remember how you sent Happy and Tig with us yesterday? She spent the entire buying stuff because she wanted to look like an old lady. She did that for you. We all encouraged her because everyone here sees how y’all feel about each other except the two of you. If you don’t wanna be with her, cut it off now and stay at the table. But if you want her to be your old lady like we know you do, you better chase after her.”, his mom said, matter-of-factly.

Jax stared at her with his mouth open. He was still in shock. He always saw Y/N as his but didn’t think she would want to be with him. When she left for college, he thought he lost his chance. She came back and he was with Wendy. She dated some uppity guys here and there, he assumed that was her type and she was ready to settle down. So when Tara decided to stay in Charming and he saw Y/N out on another date, he chose to go back to Tara.

To think that he and Y/N could have been together for years now was making his head run circles around his heart. The fact that she did all of this to be with him permanently seemed ridiculous to him. She could have just told him, but looking back she must have been trying for years. The dedication to him and the club wasn’t out of friendship but love.

“Fuck”, Jax let slip from his lips as he hopped off of the table he was sitting on.

He marched off on a mission, searching for Y/N. He stomped through the happy crowd and scanned the flashing neon lights with his eyes. He was pissed at himself. He knew his mom was right too, if he didn’t show his feelings now he and Y/N didn’t have a chance in hell. He just hoped he could find her.

Y/N stopped at the ferris wheel. Her eyes were still stinging but she refused to cry, especially in front of all these people. She would either get up in the air and cry or calm down. She was losing it on the inside. Every single person she talked to said Jax felt the same way, but Jackson’s reaction was the opposite of what was expected.

Y/N was at the front of the line when Jax finally tracked her down. Jax picked up his pace and managed to get to the ticketer as she got in on her own. Jax shoved a handful of cash into the operators hands when he protested and hopped in with her and shut the door behind him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing Jackson?” Y/N huffed

Jax flinched at the use of his full name, “I fucked up. Can we talk?”

“It doesn’t matter, you trapped me with you. You got one loop to convince me to stay on the ride with you”, she demanded.

Y/N was pissed. First, Jax insulted her and asked her if she was trying to nail one of his guys and now he wouldn’t even let her cry it out on her own. She was waiting for him to pull the “let her down easy” lines she knew the man had memorized. Except with Y/N it was going to be…

“We have been friends for as long as I remember. I didn’t realize that you felt that way about me.”

Y/N cut Jax off, “Look, we don’t have to do this. I’m trying to keep my shit together but I’d rather not do this right now.”

Confusion graced Jax’s face, “No, I, I’m trying to explain. It’s not what you think.”

“I’m pretty sure it is, Jax. You made your point earlier, if I want to be an old lady I should look to Happy and or another member.”, Y/N ranted, this last thing she wanted was to dig into why Jax didn’t want to be with her.

“Dammit Y/N! I am trying to tell you that I love you, too!” Jax shouted, losing it for a moment.

He pulled Y/N in for a kiss, one had cupped her face and the other pulled Y/N onto his lap. Y/N was shocked at Jax’s announcement and even more so at his lips on hers.

By the time Jax and Y/N had finished a loop, she was happy to stay on the ferris wheel with him. By the time the ride had ended they had become a couple and managed to mark their claims on each other. By the time the duo made it back to the crew’s table, the group began to hoop and holler. Y/N felt her cheeks heat up and ducked her head into Jax’s arm while he received high fives and slaps on the back in congratulations.

“Let me know when to expect another grandbaby!”, Gemma said with glee as she walked past the happy couple with a sleepy Abel in her arms.

To say the least, Momma Gemma is the best

Taglist: @justahopelessssromantic

#Jackson Teller #Jax Teller #jax x reader #jax oneshot #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy request #soa #soa imagine #jackson teller x reader #jax teller imagine #my work

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1245

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? Oh you are just mean. Nutella is amazing as a filling or icing, but when it comes down to it I guess I look for peanut butter more often. I love both though.

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Mashed. But baked potatoes are pretty good too; the only reason I didn’t pick it is that I don’t get to have it as often as I do mashed.

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I’m the eldest sibling, but my sister, who comes after me, has Beatrice as her second name if that’s what you mean by middle name.

Do you like breadsticks? Yes. The more cheesy-garlicky, the better.

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Merch or food.

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Puppy. Not the biggest fan of cats.

How old will you be on your next birthday? 24.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? If it’s the combination of having to be around people I’m not too close with, like workmates, and I’m eating something that tends to be messy, like jjajangmyeon, then yeah I can definitely feel conscious.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? I fell asleep from 11 PM to around 3 AM and when I woke up then I thought “ugh, I fell asleep early again?”

What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? My vape pen constantly reminds me of Andi because they were the one who gave it to me.

Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? No.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? I did want to be one, at one point. It was all a matter of being stuck with the wrong crowd at the time lol.

Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? Probably with my sister when we were very young.

Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Intelligence.

Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? I never have.

You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? A 1 or 2 TB hard drive. My phone has reached the stage where I’m starting to have to constantly delete shit so I don’t reach the maximum storage, so I need someplace to dump all my photos and videos in to free up my phone.

Honestly, have you ever danced naked? Nope.

What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? I dunno...buy pirated movies? I didn’t get ‘caught’ since pirated movie stalls are widespread here anyway, so for the most part I’ve always been more concerned for them than I am for myself.

What is the home page on the computer you’re on? Technically it’s supposed to be the Google home screen, but I have an extension that shows me my to-do list for the day.

Do you like to write poetry? Nah, that’s always been my Achilles’ heel when it comes to writing.

Are your ears pierced? Yup. Surprisingly enough they’ve never closed up despite never having worn earrings (clip-ons notwithstanding) in the last 13 years.

If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle? I’m not sure, since my mom had them pierced when I was a baby. I would guess piercing gun, though.

Do you wear makeup regularly? I never wear makeup.

Did you eat cereal for breakfast today? I never have cereal unless I’m staying at hotels. It’s just never been something I look for.

When was the last time you tripped over something? A box that was lying around in my room.

Any obsessive-compulsive tendencies? I’ll sometimes get concerned with how many times I have to flick the switch of our hot water dispenser or open and close the refrigerator door before I feel completely satisfied...but I dunno if that counts.

Who was the last person you yelled at? Technically...Angela? I was filming an unboxing video for a gift she randomly got me and I loved the gift so much I was yelling my excitement through the screen.

Why did you yell at them? ^ That.

Favorite type of apple? I don’t like fruits.

Ever seen live horse racing? No, it’s not something that interests me.

How about live greyhound racing? I don’t even know what that looks like.

What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without? The arts, I guess. I need something to listen to, to watch, etc on a regular basis.

Have you ever touched a giraffe? I don’t think so.

What does your mom call you? Robyn, or the Filipino term parents use for their kids.

What stresses you out the most in life? A particular client at work. We have a million campaigns going on for them at any given point so my life virtually revolves around that brand these days.

Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite? Nope.

If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. < Yeah.

What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero? If I’m using a Playstation controller, I can go Hard or Expert. But my finger coordination with the actual guitar controller is terrible and I fail most songs even at Easy.

What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend? There was never any ‘boyfriend,’ but my first girlfriend and I have basically had a falling out and I haven’t talked to her in months, and I expect it to continue being that way.

What’s your favorite country song? I don’t have any.

What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Putting her pride and anger first even when I’m obviously in a state of disstress or breakdown in front of her. That’s some emotional rollercoaster I’m glad I don’t have to deal with anymore.

What were you for Halloween last year? Just Dora the Explorer again, which was a repeat from the year before that.

Are you feeling guilty for something? I don’t think so; at least there isn’t anything I’m actively feeling guilty about at the moment.

Are you usually quiet or loud? I think I’m in between? I’m pretty loud but I can space out at the most random moments hahaha.

How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? This question always makes me wince at myself...I guess anywhere between 16-18 hours? The only time I put my laptop down is when I’m off to bed, but otherwise it’s constantly open.

What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? I don’t think there is such a show.

Do your siblings text you? Nope. We live under the same roof 24/7 so there’s been little need to text.

Do you want a small or big wedding? Big.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Yes, but that was when Google Earth was still super bare so I wasn’t able to see the actual house anyway, but just the general area where we’re located. I haven’t used Google Earth in years.

Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don’t know and I hoooonestly could not care less.

Ever kissed someone who smokes? Yep.

Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? Depends on my mood. I have my moments where it’s very easy for me to get irritated.

Do you own your own computer? I mean it was bought for me, but I didn’t get it with money I earned.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? When my brother was starting to mature, my sister and I very very briefly experimented sharing a room, but it lasted like all of two weeks. My parents ultimately just transferred our balcony to a bedroom so that all three of us had our own rooms.

What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? An airplane is flying above me at the moment so I can hear its engine. I can also hear some crickets chirping and the faint barking of dogs.

Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yup.

What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? I guess my second vaccine dose is kinda big? It’s happening this Friday.

What do you typically order from Wendy’s? I rarely get Wendy’s tbh, but when I do I usually go for their Baconator.

Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No, it’s not something I would be into.

What do you love most about yourself? Continued the next day because I am terrible at taking a survey in one go. I like that I don’t hesitate to do or buy things for my loved ones, not even inwardly. I guess it’s because my family has always lived very practically, so I want to make up for that by spoiling my friends.

Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? Yes.

What are you doing right now? I am supposed to be at work but it’s a relatively quiet day, so I’m here. I do have my screen split between Tumblr and my emails though, so that I’d be able to see if new work will come in hahaha.

What’s bothering you right now? Quiet work days always make me anxious because it makes me think if I’m forgetting about something crucial.

What was the last thing you drank? I literally just took a sip of my coffee before moving on to this question.

Be honest, do you like people in general? Depends on the situation, I think. Like when I go to concerts, I know I’m around people I share the same interests with, so there’s a sense of solidarity that goes with that. But when I’m like...I dunno, lining up to get my license renewed at a government office, I know people there are in a rush and tend to get rude, and that makes me feel a little bit overwhelmed. I don’t think this is something I can generalize.

Do you want your tongue pierced? No. Lip I can consider, but I have to pass on tongue.

Do you change your phone background a lot? I do these days, yeah.

Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? Possibly.

Have you ever been strip searched? I’ve been searched, but was never asked to strip.

Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No, it’s an ordinary surname.

Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? Never.

Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I get sick of people who call themselves bipolar, and of people who use ‘bipolar’ to describe someone else who just has your typical mood swings.

Describe your day so far in three words: Business as usual.

What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? I was once designated as a leader for a science investigative project, which didn’t make sense because science was definitely not my strongest point. Needless to say it didn’t go well and I ended up being a terrible leader. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Butterfinger, even though they’re a bitch to eat and chew.

Have you ever stepped in dog poop? Maybe once or twice. It fortunately doesn’t happen a lot.

What was the last thing you spent money on? I got Angela and Reena cheese tarts. The reason behind it was Jin held a VLIve last Monday and he had been eating egg tarts during the stream; and because I was happy to have watched my first Jin live, I got my friends cheese tarts hahaha. I don’t know a lot of places that sells good egg tarts so I settled for cheese tarts instead, which I think are better anyway.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah.

Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? I guess Hans? We personally don’t get to have a lot of heart-to-heart exchanges, but considering how Angela’s my greatest confidante I’m sure she has shared bits of my life to him, which I don’t mind.

Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? I don’t really like answering this question anymore because the people that I’ve declared ‘for keeps’ have faded out of my life at some point. I’m a lot more guarded and self-preservation-y when it comes to this now.

Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee? Ooooh, both. I love coffee.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? No.

Do you enjoy being outdoors? If the weather is nice, yes.

Do people tell you that you have an accent? I mean I’ve been told my English is strong, but my accent in particular doesn’t really get noted.

Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? I don’t celebrate that.

What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? I don’t like talking about my brother. Otherwise I am pretty open about everything.

Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? Several people come to mind.

Do you enjoy tanning? If I’m at the beach, sure. It’s honestly not something I have to constantly keep up with, though, since I’m already naturally tan enough. Are you a virgin? No.

Who’s your celebrity crush? Taehyung :(

Did or do you get good grades in English class? I always got pretty good grades in English.

What part of your body are you self-conscious about? Teeth, and my legs sometimes.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? I don’t celebrate that.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Yes.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot? Last month, then I’m getting my second dose tomorrow.

#survey #surveys

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ficswithrimi · 4 years

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Golden (Final Chapter Pt. 1)

First Chapter: Chapter 1

Last Chapter: Chapter 13

Next Chapter: Final Chapter Pt. 2

Wanna talk to Golden and get to know him or expose him? Then follow @goldenrecs!

A/N: WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED TO THE FINAL CHAPTER OF GOLDEN! Unfortunately, it was getting waaay too long so I have to split it in two parts. I’ll give my sap, emotional author’s note on the second part. Speaking off, the second part should be up within a week or two! Please enjoy the first part of the last chapter of Golden! Please tell me your thoughts! It makes me happy~ OH! And for the almost last time, please listen to this~

~!~

Jungkook’s POV

“Good morning! This is Wendy reporting outside of the Language Hall’s auditorium where just an hour from now, the creative writing final exam will start! It is expected that our school’s biggest mystery, Golden, will reveal himself to the world or, er, his classmates,” the reporter giggled nervously at her slipup. Shaking her head, she directed the cameraman to pan the camera to the crowd of students awaiting outside of the auditorium doors. No one could tell who was actually in the class and who was just there to see Golden. There were signs with various names of who they assumed was Golden, girls and guys dressed up as if Golden was going to propose to them after their reveal, and just curious passersby.

“Yes, it is 7am and in half an hour, the doors to the auditorium will open to allow those taking the final in,” Wendy grinned in the camera as it panned back to her. Shifting her eyes to a random student waiting in the massive line, she motioned the cameraman to follow her. “Ah yes, here we have a fan of Golden waiting anxiously to see his-“

“I’m here for my final.” The female student cut the young reporter off. Wendy’s eyes widened briefly before letting out a forced chuckle.

“Of course, you are! But Golden will be revealing himself in your final today! Aren’t you excited-“

“I just want a decent grade.” The girl said in a matter-of-fact tone.

The fake smile on Wendy’s face fell as she glared slightly at the woman. The cameraman cleared his throat to try to get the reporter to return to acting professional. However, the woman didn’t seem to understand the gesture. “So, why are you here so early then, huh?”

The student dramatically looked behind her at the crowd of students and even faculty that was still growing before exasperatedly swinging her arms open. “I dunno, maybe because I’d like to be able to actually get inside? Listen, I think you all are crazy bitc-“

Wendy immediately whipped around to face the camera to cut off the woman’s words, her hair smacking the student behind her in the process. “Okay! We will cut to the weather forecast for the week and come back here later!”

Jungkook ran his fingers through his hair as he clicked off his phone. This was going to be a long day – he already expected it. Not only would he have to sit through 200 students presenting their blog to the class and the professor, but he would have to deal with the campus afterwards obsessing over him. Namjoon told him that maybe it would blow over when everyone came back in the new year after the holiday break, however, Jungkook had an unsettling feeling it wouldn’t be that easy. Sure, maybe it’d die down a little, but he was a big deal. People outside of the university knew about him and his blog.

He had all of this to worry about and his nerves. Jungkook was nothing like Golden in the outside world. He was a shy guy who tried to avoid human contact with others as much as possible. That’s why he strolled around campus with his AirPods stuffed in his ears. Just thinking about over half of the university knowing him gave him slight anxiety. However, what worried him the most was Y/N. Today – in like an hour or whenever he got up to present – she would know that the guy she crushed on was him. She’d know that he was the one who casually flirted with her online and secretly dedicated songs to her. She’d know how Golden has been by her side this entire semester – right under her nose. But, along with knowing who he was, she’d know he was the reason why she received so much hate on her blog that she deleted. The reason why her and her best friend got into a fight. Why she was confused about Taehyung. That he -Golden - was the reason for all her stress this semester.

Would the 19-year-old hate him? Jungkook worried about this the most. He really liked Y/N. And he hoped that the same feelings she developed for Golden could be passed onto him. They were technically the same person, right? Would Y/N also see it that way? Shaking his head, Jungkook glanced at the time on his watch. 7:07am. Letting out a sigh, he stood up from the table in the school’s dining hall. He guess he’d better start making his way towards class.

~!~

Chloe’s POV

“The fuck…?” Chloe frowned as she looked in front of her at the long line of people coming from the Language Hall building where her creating writing class was. She knew the class held about 200 students and those who’ve skipped almost the entirety of the semester – such as herself – would appear today, but Chloe knew all these people weren’t in her class. Especially since the university’s news team was reporting and casually walking up to certain students in line to, what she assumed, interview them.

Just the sight of the reporters and the people made the woman want to turn on her heel and head straight back to her dorm to sleep. However, she knew she had to be here to support her best friend and whatever she was going to present to the class for her blog. That and Chloe kind of needed to pass the class. Also, she was curious as to how Jungkook would reveal himself to the world or whatever. So, she couldn’t leave.

Y/N didn’t return from the dance studio last night, so she was expecting whatever the sophomore was planning for her blog to be epic. She didn’t have any doubts. Y/N was a phenomenal dancer and if she was incorporating that into her blog, then Chloe knew she would pass. She hoped. She prayed.

“Wow,” Chloe jumped slightly as a deep voice let out a low whistle from beside her. Her eyes almost jumped out of their sockets at the sight of Namjoon standing beside her casually, hands stuffed in his pockets, and looking at the crowd.

“W-what are you doing here?” Chloe felt her face heating up from him standing beside her. She hasn’t talked to him since she admitted to him about her blog and how he told her he wasn’t mad about it. “Oh, are you looking for Y/N? I don’t think she’s here yet.”

“Actually,” Namjoon turned and looked down at the shorter girl with a small smile plastered on his lips. If Chloe was blushing before, she was definitely blushing now. “I was looking for you.”

“F-funny. Usually it’s me who’s looking for you,” she nervously chuckled as she try to look anywhere but him.

“Yeah,” he also let out a chuckle that Chloe swear made her heart beat a bit faster. “Just wanted to wish you good luck on your presentation.”

“Eh,” Chloe shrugged. “It’s not really my presentation I’m worried about but thanks.”

“So, uh, I should probably start heading to my exam now,” Namjoon said as he glanced back towards the crowd. “They really… got the news team out here…”

“Golden’s finally going to end. I bet he’s happy…”

Namjoon chuckled again at this. “More like nervous… but… he has nothing to worry about, right?”

Chloe looked up at Namjoon’s questioning arched brow at her. She already knew what he meant by that. She grinned at the senior. “Nothing at all! Well, I should probably get in line for my class. Wow… I really have to wait in a line for my final.”

“Hm, okay. See you around!” Namjoon nodded at her as the girl gave him one last grin before turning around to walk away. However, before she could get too far, she felt a hand grab hers and pull her back slightly.

“What is it?” She arched a brow at him as Namjoon removed his other hand from his pocket. Flipping Chloe’s hand around, he placed a flash drive into her palm and wrapped her fingers around it.

“You should make an edit to your last blog post,” Namjoon simply said before letting go of the girl’s hand and turned to walk away. Chloe stood there confused as she looked at the black flash drive in her hand. What did he just give her? Did he really give her a flash drive as a good luck gift for her final? And what did he mean by her last blog post? Suddenly remembering what her post was about, her eyes widened as she looked back up at his retreating figure. Smiling softly, she carefully shoved it into her pocket and whipped out her phone as she began walking towards the line of students.

Bitchhhhhhh, guess what just happened! Also, wtf r u? There’s a line outside of CW.

~!~

Your POV

“One and two and three and four and one and done!” Hoseok shouted over the music as your chest heaved heavily as you held your ending pose. The senior immediately started clapping excitedly as a wide grinned brightened his face. Meanwhile, you fell to the ground trying to catch your breath. You had been up all night choreographing a dance to present for your blog. Then, you had to make sure it was almost perfect as if you hadn’t just thought about it a couple of hours ago. After leaving your dorm last night, you had texted both Jimin and Hoseok to ask them with the recording and to give out any pointers. Jimin couldn’t come because of two finals he had later in the day, but Hoseok, who was finished with his finals for the week, arrived at the studio around 4:30am. By then, you had made up a dance and he helped you with some parts but mostly said how it was a beautiful dance and different from your usual style. You knew it had to of have been decent since Hoseok was the school’s dance team captain and has won dance competitions throughout his life. Getting his approval meant a lot.

“I could feel the emotion through each move! Everyone’s going to love it, Y/N!” Hoseok walked over to you and handed you a bottle of water. Sitting up and grabbing the water, you chugged it down before standing up.

“Thanks! Now I just have to do some slight edits and upload to my blog!” You smiled at the man. However, he didn’t return your smile and, instead, glanced at the clock on the wall.

“Uh… doesn’t your final start at 8?”

“Yeah, why?” You asked as you followed his gaze to the clock. Immediately your eyes widened. 7:52. Panicking, you ran over to your phone that Hoseok had used to record your dance. You forgot you had turned on do not disturb so you wouldn’t be interrupted in the studio. Looking at your notifications, you saw you had several missed calls and messages from Chloe, Jimin, and even a message from Taehyung. Grabbing your bag, you dashed out of the studio door, only managing to give Hoseok a quick wave in the process.

“Good luck!” Hoseok called out.

You frantically tried to balance your bag on your shoulder and trim your dance video as you ran past the information desk. There was no way you were going to make it to the final on time. First off, you were sweaty and gross from dancing throughout the night. You had to go back to your dorm and shower first. Sitting in a three-hour final covered in sweat and surrounded by the stench of your B.O. just didn’t sound pleasant to you.

“Y/N!” You stopped briefly as Hannah, the receptionist and your friend, called out to you.

“Can’t talk! Gonna be late for my final!” You waved to her as you continued to head towards the door.

“I know! Good luck with Golden! I’m sure he’ll like you no matter what!” She shouted. Your heart pounded at the thought of Golden – Jungkook. Today was it. Not only was he going to reveal himself to the school, but you were going to reveal your feelings for him in front of the school. Now, there was a strong possibility that Jungkook didn’t return your feelings and you’d be embarrassed for the rest of your college career. However, you held out hope that maybe – just maybe – the freshman held similar feelings. He blushed around you a lot and was quiet, but you always assumed that was because he was just shy. Chloe did hint several times that he may have feelings for you, but it was Chloe you were talking about. At the beginning of the semester, she thought every guy she landed her eyes on in CW was Golden.

Speaking of being shy, how was he going to reveal himself? Online, Jungkook had this outgoing, sassy personality. Offline, however, he kept to himself when not around his close friends with his AirPods stuffed in his ears. You were kind of expecting for the 18-year-old to get on the stage, do a slight wave to the class, and casually be all, “Hi, my name is Jungkook and I’m Golden. The end.” Would people believe such a laidback, unoriginal reveal? You had no clue, but you were sure once they saw his blog, they probably would. Or maybe he’d go all out. He’ll start dancing to one of the songs he covered on his blog. Maybe he’d dance to his recent cover of Paper Hearts? You kind of hoped he wouldn’t. Whatever it was, you just knew you’d have to hurry and get changed and run to class. It was bad enough you were going to be late as is.

As you jogged down the sidewalk towards your dorm, you felt your phone buzz in your hand. It was probably Chloe again asking where you were. Apparently, there was a line just to get in your final. Not giving it a second thought, you lifted your phone up to glance at it only to temporarily halt in your tracks as it wasn’t a text from Chloe, but an anonymous message sent to your blog. That was weird. Your blog was made mere hours ago. Who could’ve found you already? Beginning to walk again, you opened the message.

Anon: new blog or not, when Golden reveals himself today, it’ll be ME he’ll dedicate songs to and not you. C u l8r “dancercookies”

Your heart sunk a bit at the message. One thing you thought you escaped when you deleted your old blog was the anon hate you got just by simply knowing Jungkook. How did this person find you? You were pretty sure Jungkook didn’t know of your new blog. He, just like everyone else besides Chloe and Jimin, were unaware of your resurrected blog. And on top of that, it was one of the Golden fans who saw him as an idol or something and wanted to confess their love for him after the reveal. Shaking the thoughts from your head, your eyes glanced towards the time on your phone. 7:58. Panic setting in again, you shoved your phone inside your pocket and jogged towards your dorm again. There was no way you were going to be on time. It just wasn’t a way around it.

~!~

Chloe’s POV

Chloe tapped her foot impatiently as she kept looking behind her to see if she could spot her short best friend anywhere in the line of people. However, all she saw were tired, excited, and annoyed students that seemed to stretch on for miles. Okay, miles was a little exaggerating, but the line was long. The doors to the auditorium would be opening at any minute and Chloe just knew she’d have to jab and elbow her way through the rush of students. Walking in an orderly fashion seemed to be the last thing on everyone’s minds. Besides the MIA Y/N, Golden himself was nowhere to be spotted amongst the crowd. Jungkook was kind of tall but so were a lot of the other guys who stood in the line. Frowning, Chloe let out a huff while crossing her arms and turning back to face the person in front of her. Trying to get an estimate of how many people she’d have to fight through, the blonde girl’s eyes landed on Wendy, the school’s main news reporter, and her camera guy behind her. The junior seemed to be interviewing another student. Poking her head farther out from behind the person in front of her, she tried to get a better view of the interviewee. Instantly, her eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the woman before a small fire sparked in them. It was no one other than Seulgi. Seulgi… the woman who has been harassing Y/N since Golden started noticing her on his blog. The woman who told Namjoon about her blog. How she even knew about Chloe’s blog surprised her but all of that didn’t matter.

Chloe stepped away from the line and started her way towards the three people. Originally, Chloe had hoped karma would come along and take care of Seulgi, but the opportunity to set her straight was knocking at her door. And who would Chloe be not to answer it? Just as she was in hearing distance of them, she felt someone wrap their hand around her wrist as they pulled her back towards the line.

“What the hell – oh – oh! It’s you!” Chloe’s eyes widened at the man who had now let go of her wrist. “I don’t have time to talk to you, Taehyung, I have business to take care of-“

“Where’s Y/N?” Taehyung asked the blonde woman, ignoring her rambling about putting Seulgi or whoever in her place. At hearing the woman’s name, however, Chloe stopped talking and arched a brow.

“You’re still caught up on her? Listen, Tae, can I call you Tae-“

“No-“

“Y/N doesn’t have feelings for you. I thought that’s what ya’ll talked about yesterday?”

“Chloe, listen-“

“Also, you being Vmusic95? I knew it. You never gave me a Golden vibe-“

“Y/N needs to be here on time!” Taehyung suddenly shouted, causing a few students to stop chattering and turn their attention to the two. Even Wendy had stopped conducting her interview with Seulgi to turn and look. Seulgi leaned forward to also see what the commotion was. Her mistake. Chloe’s eyes immediately locked onto the brown-haired woman and Seulgi swore she was snarling a bit at her. Turning away from Seulgi, Chloe looked back towards Taehyung.

“Duh, it’s our final but why exactly do you care after she dumped you?”

Taehyung smacked his face at Chloe’s blunt question. The woman really didn’t have a filter. “It’s for Jung-“

“Ah, Taehyung! Or Vmusic95, am I correct?” Wendy suddenly popped over to the pair. The cameraman shoved his camera into Chloe’s face much to the girl’s annoyance. She eyed the man up and down before pushing the camera away from her with her hand, earning a “hey” from the man in the process.

“Uh… yeah…” Taehyung said nervously as Wendy grinned in his face.

“How does it feel being the inferior blog to Golden!? Even to the point that the Cinderella of this fiasco, Y/N, chose Golden over you?”

“Uh…” Taehyung’s face turned red as he looked away from the peering camera. His eyes contacted the surrounding students around him who were awaiting his answer before looking towards the ground. Chloe arched a brow at the man’s sudden behavior. She’d only known Taehyung a couple of months and only hung out a couple of times, but she knew he was rarely shy. He was always babbling about something and had this goofy box-like grin plastered on his face. Y/N… must’ve really broken his heart and yet, here he was, trying to see that Y/N and Jungkook were happy. He even exposed himself yesterday so, what Chloe assumed, Y/N could have final confirmation that he wasn’t Golden, and it was Jungkook – the man Y/N liked. Anyone with eyes could tell the girl had feelings for the 18-year-old. Anyone could tell Jungkook had feelings for her. Except, well, maybe Y/N.

Taehyung was obviously still hurting, and Wendy and her team weren’t making it any better. Sucking her teeth, Chloe stood in front of Taehyung, trying her best to cover him from the camera. She didn’t care for Taehyung that much still, but she wasn’t going to let this reporter make him feel worse than he already did.

“His blog wasn’t inferior, Wendy. It was nearly as popular as Golden’s. Just because he didn’t entertain anons like Golden did all the time didn’t make his blog any less. I was a fan of his blog and at least he had the balls to reveal himself and not lead people on until the last minute-“

“Uh…” Chloe’s ears perked up at the sound of Jungkook’s voice behind her. Everyone turned their attention to the freshman who had suddenly appeared, bookbag hanging off one shoulder and orange juice bottle occupying his left hand. The girl cleared her throat from getting caught about talking about Jungkook and turned her attention back to Wendy.

“So… leave him alone… why don’t you uh… interview Jungkook, here?” Chloe laughed nervously only to earn a look from both Jungkook and Taehyung. “He’s a freshman and-“

Wendy put her hand up to Chloe’s mouth to stop her from talking as she eyed Jungkook up and down before rolling her eyes. “Cute but he doesn’t seem interesting enough to interview. C’mon Taeyong, let’s go see who else we can find. Thanks for your time, Taehyung… Chloe.”

Chloe threw a glare at Wendy as she scampered off before turning her attention back to Jungkook who was now standing with her and Taehyung. “I didn’t mean what I said earlier. I mean, I did but-“

“Just try not to say anything else regarding that before the final, please,” Jungkook let out a heavy sigh at how Chloe almost exposed him for the nth time.

“Thanks… for what you said, Chloe…” Taehyung smiled sadly at the woman. She just shrugged before slapping him unexpectedly on his back. “We’re gonna be family one day so I gotta lookout for you, ya know?”

“Family?” Taehyung and Jungkook asked simultaneously. Chloe just waved it off.

“So, Y/N’s not with you?” Chloe asked Jungkook as she tried looking past him.

“No... she’s not here already?” His eyes widened. Taehyung shook his head at Jungkook.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be here before they let-“

“Attention students of Creative Writing only!” A voice said over the building’s intercom. The once noisy line immediately hushed to listen to the announcement. “The doors will be opening now to begin the Creative Writing final. You will be asked to provide your full name to ensure you are a student of this class. Thank you and we hope you do well!”

Just as the announcement ended, the line began to disperse as hordes of people began to make their way forward towards the door. Meanwhile, Jungkook, Chloe, and Taehyung’s eyes widened in fear as only one thought came to their heads.

Y/N was gonna miss the final.

~!~

Your POV

“You know, you may not have as great of a RA when I leave next year.”

“Yeah, can you-“

“Like you could get someone who drags you outta your room to make sure you go to the floor meetings.”

“Jackson-“

“What if they make you call them RA whatever-their-name-will-be? Or no communicating with the other floors? You just don’t know how lucky you’ve had it with me, Y/N. What RA will be as sexy and cool as me? Who will help you with your friendship problems-“

“Jackson! Can you just open the damn door?!” You shouted at the senior who was rambling on as he fiddled with the lock on your door. After noticing the time at the studio, you had rushed out of the studio while forgetting your room key. You had texted Hoseok in hopes he’d bring you the key, but you knew he wouldn’t reach your dorm in time. You had to still get ready and upload the video to your blog. Time didn’t permit you to be any later than you already were. So – to your annoyance – that led you to turning to Jackson to unlock your door for you. It took him a while to find the master key and to “pass time,” as he said, he began talking about how he’s graduating next semester and how he’d be the greatest RA you’d have in college. This, of course, made you roll your eyes hard.

Just as you had said that, the lock clicked open and Jackson pushed open the door. Turning to you, he gave you his infamous puppy dog eyes. “You don’t have to be so mean…”

Ignoring his look, you rushed past him, said a quick thanks, and slammed your door. There were so many things you had to do that you didn’t even know where to start. Should you upload the video first? Or shower? Maybe find something to wear first? Your eyes scanned your shared room as if they would land on something that would give you an answer. However, it didn’t give you an answer and caused your stomach to twist into tight knots as you saw the time on the digital clock beside Chloe’s bed. 8:13.

“Fuck…” You cursed under your breath. Inhaling deeply to clear your mind somewhat, you decided to upload your video to your blog and while it was uploading, you’d shower quickly. The final was going to take a while, you told yourself. There were 200 students in the class. It’d be a three-hour final – tops. You didn’t want to miss Chloe’s presentation, however. Or Jungkook’s. Hell, you definitely didn’t want to miss yours. You came too far to settle for a failing grade now. Ruffling your hair out of frustration, you logged into your blog and began to upload your dance. Tossing your phone on your bed, you ran to the bathroom to get ready.

~!~

Jungkook’s POV

Where was she? She wasn’t going to skip out on the final, right? She wouldn’t. Chloe had told him and Taehyung that she had come up with an idea for her blog late last night. Was she still doing whatever it was she had decided? She did know what time it was, didn’t she? What if she was sleeping somewhere and didn’t hear her phone’s alarm or something? All these thoughts crossed Jungkook’s mind as more and more students got up to present their blogs and time moved on. It would be easy for the dancer to miss her presentation as, since there were so many students who had to present, the professor only allowed for a 2-4-minute timeframe. No one could go over. She made sure of that as she kept a stopwatch in her hand. One guy had gone about two seconds over and she immediately interrupted him.

Missing her own presentation wasn’t the only thing Jungkook was thinking about. He worried about her missing his own presentation. The presentation that had students on the edge of their seats which each name the professor called to the front. Wendy and several other reporters who weren’t outside previously were in the usually spacious – now cramped – auditorium. Jungkook wasn’t even sure some of them belonged to the school’s news team which made the 18-year-old more nervous than what he already was. Whenever the presenter began to speak, he could hear the reporters whispering things like, “get your camera ready,” or “this is the one, I can feel it.” Of course, they were wrong.

Y/N had to make it on time for his presentation. He worked so hard for this day. The times he almost got outed by her best friend – Jungkook eyed Chloe who had her bag in an empty chair between them, reserved for Y/N – to having to deal with the obsessed anons. Most importantly, however, with his reveal, Y/N would know not only who he was but also his feelings for her. Jungkook liked Y/N and he didn’t want to risk missing his chance again like he almost did before. The man glanced over at Taehyung who was listening intently to the current presenter. Jungkook didn’t know what happened when he and Y/N met up the other night. All he knew was that Taehyung was not his usual cheery self afterwards and he even revealed his music blog. He wouldn’t tell Jungkook why but he kind of guessed his reason behind doing so.

“Uh, thanks Jaebum for your presentation on different breeds of small dogs…” The professor said. Marking something down for what was assumed to be Jaebum, she moved her pencil down her list of students. Jungkook could audibly hear everyone hitch their breaths as they had no idea as to who she would call next. To make the presentations more spontaneous – her exact words – she was calling everyone in a randomized order. “Hm… Choi Chloe?”

“Fuck,” Jungkook heard the blonde woman grumble under her breath as she stood up and shoved her phone her back pocket. As she squeezed past Jungkook, she looked down at him and winked, which made him nervous. What was she about to do? He knew about her Namjoon blog after the senior had told him and the other guys. Specifically, he asked how he responded to her weird, indirect confession. Yoongi had given Namjoon an idea. Jungkook wondered if the man went through with it or not. Jimin had told him he could do better than Chloe jokingly. Namjoon didn’t think it was funny.

Jungkook sat up in his chair as Chloe strutted towards the stage, stopping briefly at the professor’s desk to identify herself as present. She walked over to the cord that was connected to the large screen in the auditorium to connect her phone. Those who wanted everyone to see their blog connected their phones to the screen while others verbally explained their blog while having the professor look at it from her phone. Before Chloe turned on her phone to show her blog to the class – and the entire school thanks to the reporters – she took a deep breath and turned around on her heel. She gave a nervous smile and brushed her hair that hung in her face away from her eyes.

“Hello… I’m Chloe… and,” She inhaled and let out a shaky breath. Jungkook was confused as to why she was nervous to present. She was so nonchalant about it before. According to Y/N, she barely even came to the class. Everyone else began to chatter amongst themselves in confusion as she took the time to calm her nerves.

“I’m Golden.”

Jungkook’s mouth fell open – assumingly with the rest of the auditorium – at Chloe’s words. Someone yelled out a prolonged “what” while the rest of the room began to chatter excitedly. The reporters turned to their cameras and started reports on how, “with an unexpected twist, Golden turns out to be student Chloe Choi.”

“What’s she doing?” Taehyung tapped Jungkook’s arm as he continued to stare at the woman in shock. His mind was blank. What was she doing? As he continued to stare at the girl and the professor tried to get everyone to settle down, Chloe let out a loud laugh while holding her stomach.

“God, you guys act like a celebrity just walked in or something,” She laughed as she tried to regain her breath. After regaining her composure, she turned on her phone to reveal her real blog titled “Falling in Love with a Senior That Will Be Graduating Next Year: The Sad Story of Chloe M.”

“Ahem,” Chloe cleared her throat to regain everyone’s – now irritated – attention. The news reporters were desperately trying to retract their previous report. “My blog actually was about my feelings for someone who means a lot to me. This blog was presented in a humorous manner, but everything said within it was true. As you can see, I joke around a lot, which annoys a lot of people.”

“No shit,” someone yelled out which caused a couple of laughs from the audience. Chloe smirked to hide her smile.

“Anyways, I stupidly wrote about my feelings about this guy for the world to see and eventually he saw it himself. I thought I ruined everything between us because he’s really this chill kind of guy and,” Chloe blushed as she thought of, who Jungkook was assuming, Namjoon. “I really like him… and so… yeah… I dedicated this blog to him and that was my blog for the semester.”

Jungkook looked around as no one seemed to applaud the woman for her presentation. Taehyung clapped silently but not loud enough to reach the front of the stage. Noticing no one applauded her, Chloe sucked her teeth in response. “Whatever. I hope what ya’ll are waiting for won’t be a disappointment.”

Jungkook frowned at her words as he watched her gather her phone and get off the stage. This was the second time today she’s indirectly insulted him.

“Uh, thanks… Chloe… let’s see…”

Chloe smirked at Jungkook as she returned to her seat. Jungkook just rolled his eyes at her as he turned his attention back to the professor. His mind drifted back to Y/N, however, as he checked the time on his phone. 8:57. Was she really not coming? The more time went on and people presented, the more nervous Jungkook felt. At any moment he could be call.

“Who’s next…?”

It would break his heart for her to miss his reveal. She’d end up like the other students on campus who didn’t take creative writing – finding out he was Golden on the news broadcast. Probably on a rerun, too, since they were recording live.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

Jungkook didn’t even notice how the auditorium quieted down again as the professor said the next name to present. He snapped out of his thoughts, however, when both Taehyung and Chloe nudged him. He stared doe-eyed at the stage as he heard Taehyung whisper out that he was next. He couldn’t be, right? Maybe they misheard. He couldn’t present yet. He wasn’t ready. Y/N wasn’t here yet.

“Is Jeon Jungkook present? Going once…”

“Go, bro,” Chloe slapped his arm. “She’ll be here in time!”

“Yeah, Kookie. Maybe it’s like one of those romance movies where she suddenly busts through the doors just as you… present,” Taehyung chose his words carefully as other students seemed to identify Jungkook’s name to his face and turned to arch brows and confused faces at him.

“Going twice…”

“Ugh, if the freshman isn’t gonna go, I will,” the voice of Seulgi could be heard from the back of the auditorium.

“Can you just go so you can finally shut that bit-“

“Chloe,” Taehyung frowned at her. She just shrugged and sat back in her seat.

“Okay then, let’s-“

“Here” Jungkook immediately stood up from his seat, causing the professor and everyone else to look over at him. “I’m… here…”

“Well, c’mon! We are on a strict schedule!” The professor motioned him over to the stage. Jungkook gulped before turning his head to glance at the closed auditorium doors. He only hoped Taehyung was right and Y/N would walk through those doors at any given moment. Sighing, he began to make his way towards the stage.

~!~

Your POV

Where r u?! He’s presenting! – Chloe

“Fuck!” You shouted as you dashed out of your dorm room, slamming the door shut behind you.

“Language!” Jackson called from somewhere down the hall. Ignoring him, you decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. You dashed down the stairs, avoiding the few stragglers who were going in the opposite direction. Was the professor not calling names by alphabetical order? Or maybe she was going backwards on the rollcall? Whatever she was doing, Jungkook was presenting now – ready to reveal to the world who he was – and you weren’t there. You weren’t there to give him the support the shy man probably needed. Nor were you there to cheer him on from the sea of students – to tell him he’s got this. All while pretending to not know who he really was.

Rushing out of your dorm, you ran frantically towards the language hall. It wasn’t too far away but it was far enough. Luckily, the usually busy sidewalks were practically empty do to everyone either in their finals, studying, or sleeping. That, or maybe they were all waiting outside the building for Jungkook to emerge as Golden. As the building came into sight, you gasped at all the people outside gathered around it. Some you were even positive weren’t students at your school. Clutching onto your bag, you began to push your way through the crowd.

“Excuse me. Sorry,” You said as you made your way through the crowd. As you reached the front of the door, you were surprised to see two security guards standing in front of them. Clearing your throat, you smiled nervously at them. “Uh… hi… may I go in?”

“Creative Writing students are only permitted past this point,” the one on the left said.

“I am a student! I-I mean, I am in this class! I have to take my final!”

“Miss, the final began a little over an hour ago. You’re just now coming?” The other officer said as she arched a brow at you.

“Please! I can’t fail this class! I’m an honor student. I worked so hard and-“ You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes. At this point, not only were you going to miss Jungkook’s reveal, but you were going to fail your class.

“H-hey, don’t cry! What’s your name?” The woman asked as she pulled out a clipboard with a list of names.

You sniffed your tears back as you managed to stutter out your name. “Y/L/N Y/N…”

The woman searched for a bit while the other officer peered over her shoulder to see if he could spot your name as well. “Ah!” the male officer said as he pointer at something on the board.

The woman looked up at you and smiled. “Your name is on the roll. However, I can’t let you in during a presentation. After this student is finished, we can let you in.”

“B-but I need to be in there right now!” You felt your heart drop to your stomach. You were going to miss his presentation after all.

“Sorry, professor’s orders or it’ll be an automatic fail…” The male officer gave you a sad smile. A tear managed to escape your left eye as you stared in bewilderment at them. This was it. There was nothing else you could do… but wait.

~!~

Jungkook’s POV

Jungkook nervously stared out at the crowd of students before him. He gulped as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. Suddenly, he wished he had styled his hair up instead of his usual down style. Were the stage lights extra bright today or something? He felt like the light and heat radiating from them were trying to bake him. The sound of the professor clearing her throat, signaling him to start, caused his eyes to shift to her. He gave her a nervous smile before shifting his eyes to the entrance of the auditorium. Jungkook thought he could dash out of the room right then and there and announce he was Golden later in the day or so. Or maybe, he’d never reveal Golden and just abandon the blog. People would eventually forget about him, right? He was just a fad, after all. Right? At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself.

Jungkook looked to the back of the auditorium where the news reporters stood, all waiting for his presentation just like the rest of the class. He could tell the professor he didn’t have a blog, and this was his first time coming to the class. However, he knew she wouldn’t believe him as he sat near the front of the class for the entirety of the semester and he’d lock eyes with the professor on multiple occasions. She knew who he was. Finally, Jungkook looked to the empty seat that was reserved for Y/N. Where was she? Was she okay? Why wasn’t she coming? Jungkook had to admit, maybe he was stalling because he hoped Taehyung would be right and she’d enter the room at any moment. However, he knew he couldn’t wait for her forever. He couldn’t keep the everyone waiting as they began to snicker and talk amongst themselves at his nervousness. He had to let them know now. He had to put an end to Golden once and for all.

“Look, if you need-“

“Remember… the way you made me feel…” Jungkook began to sing quietly. “… Such young love but…”

The once rowdy auditorium began to quiet down as Jungkook’s angelic-like voice began to travel to the ears of the students. Jungkook stopped briefly as he studied the students within the first row of seats. Some of their mouths were ajar with widened eyes. Others, however, seemed skeptical. He couldn’t blame them. Chloe did get everyone’s hopes up with her fake reveal. Inhaling and deciding to continue, he closed his eyes and started singing again.

“Something in me knew that it was real… frozen in my head…”

As Jungkook quietly sung the next part, reporters hesitantly turned to the cameras to report who they almost thought could be Golden while the cameramen zoomed in on Jungkook. Whispers could be heard amongst the students as they began to question those beside them if this shy kid was really the school’s beloved Golden. He couldn’t be, right? They mean, he sounded like Golden’s singing voice but Golden wasn’t shy. The real Golden would’ve gotten on stage, smirk at everyone, say something cocky, then reveal his identity. He wouldn’t be this 18-year-old shifting nervously on stage with his mint green feather cardigan, denim jeans held up with black suspenders, white t-shirt, and black combat boots. He looked too soft to be Golden. And Jungkook knew they wouldn’t believe it was him. That’s why he came prepared.

Suddenly, he stopped singing and pulled out his phone and went to connect it to the screen. Everyone arched their brows at the brown-haired boy as he quietly tapped away on his phone, screen hidden from them to see. After a few seconds, pings and vibrations could be heard throughout the room. Even the professor looked confused as her own phone buzzed. Was it an emergency alert or something? Jungkook briefly looked up from his phone to see everyone checking their notification before he turned on the screen to project his blog to the room. Gasps were heard throughout the room as students looked up from their phones to the screen on the stage:

Golden: My name is Jeon Jungkook… (posted 5 seconds ago)

The camera operators of the news teams in the back all immediately focused their cameras onto Jungkook on the stage as reporters began to report of the sudden post made by Golden and the screen that Jungkook had displayed. Jungkook gulped nervously as he inhaled and exhaled slowly, “I’m… the best at almost everything. I dance, sing, draw, and write…”

Jungkook felt his confidence starting to rise within him as students began to stand up from their seats – eyes filled with realization and shock. Letting out a chuckle at the sight, Jungkook continued, “Ha… even my music taste is amazing… right? I’m just…Golden.”

Instantly, after revealing himself to the starstruck crowd, Jungkook hit the ‘play’ button for his cover of Paper Hearts. As Golden’s – Jungkook’s – recorded voice rang from the speakers, Jungkook harmonized with the recording. His voice was an exact match to the recording. He did it. He revealed himself as Golden.

“Golden has revealed himself!”

“Golden turns out to be Jeon Jungkook!”

“Jeon Jungkook reveals himself as the infamous mystery music blogger, Golden!”

Reporters were desperately reporting the new information to be one of the first to leak the information. Some students were recording from their phones – probably going live on Instagram or other social media sites. Chloe smiled softly to herself as Jungkook sung the song emotionally on the stage. She knew Y/N was supposed to be here. This wasn’t just his reveal as Golden but his confession of his feelings to her as well. Even Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at his younger friend’s bravery.

As Jungkook sung the song that held meaning to him, he closed his eyes as he reminisced on his semester. From starting his blog and getting his first follower then hundreds then thousands to receiving anonymous hate and love confessions. He remembered how many people told him his recommendations made their weeks better or how some even recommended songs to him. Keeping Golden’s identity from the entire school was a challenge and though some found out along the way, Jungkook was grateful they were friends of his and not strangers. When Jungkook started college, he didn’t know he’d make such a huge impression on his school within his very first semester. But here he was, hearing the voices of students in the auditorium singing along with him, clapping, and some even sobbing. He could only imagine how others outside were reacting to the news.

As the song began to end, one final thought came to Jungkook. Y/N. She was supposed to be here to see his reveal. She was supposed to be in the seat beside Chloe and staring at him with, hopefully, amazement in her eyes. But, would she? Golden gave her such a hard time during the semester. Would she hate Jungkook for keeping it a secret from her? However, Jungkook didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to remember the time he first saw her in that sandwich café and how shy – and cute - she was as she sat across from him and Namjoon. Or, when he saw her dance for the first time and how she lost herself in what she loved doing the most. Also, the time she stress-baked at Namjoon and Jin’s dorm and he, Jimin, and Taehyung helped her. That was also the first time Jungkook decided to toy with her, which was successful, as he remembered the girl became a blushing mess at Golden’s acknowledgement of her. He remembered how stressed she was about mid-terms and they studied in the library together. How at Suho’s party, she grabbed his hand so they wouldn’t get separated from one another in the crowd of people they were in. His favorite memory of Y/N, however, was over fall break and they got to know each other more. How she felt comfortable enough around him to tell him about her life up to now and vice versa. As Jungkook remembered this, the song came to an end and the loud cheers and applause of his classmates, professor, and news reporters brought him back to reality. Jungkook snapped his eyes open and just as he did, the doors to the auditorium burst open, revealing Y/N, her eyes searching frantically around the room before landing on him on the stage. He locked eyes with her, and she gave him a small smile. And it was with that smile, Jungkook thought maybe – just maybe – she saw his reveal and confession after all.

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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5.11, Sam, Interrupted. Right on the heels of seeing their roles in the story from an outside perspective, we shift in the complete opposite direction, into a deep internal perspective.

Still, there's a primary manipulative force. Only it's manipulating them from the inside instead of from the outside. And Sam and Dean "pretend" to be insane to get themselves admitted to a psych hospital believing they're actually in control the entire time, when they were basically screwed and being manipulated from the moment they had their intake exams...

Hello, wraith!

(heh, and the creature I took my AO3 handle from, so maybe this gives folks some insight as to why I chose that name now... manipulating TFW and readers from the inside since 2015... my new catch phrase I guess?)

They're Sam and Dean get admitted for telling the absolute truth, about the apocalypse, monsters, angels, demons.

SAM: Okay. Look...um...last few weeks, you've kind of been worrying me. DEAN: (rolls his eyes) Oh, come on, Sam. Stop. Look, just because we're in the loony bin doesn't give you the right to head-shrink me. SAM: Dean-- DEAN: Ellen and Jo dying--Yeah, it was a friggin' tragedy, okay? But I'm not gonna wallow in it. SAM: Dean, you always do this. You can't just keep this crap in. DEAN: (chuckles) Watch me.

Yeahhhhhhh... that won't lead to problems down the line... I mean, we've talked for years about Dean's chats with his psychiatrist, who turns out to be entirely a hallucination on his part, and just how flippant he is about his own problems, so I probably don't need to dwell on that here. Or on the fact that this is a Dabb episode, wherein it's made completely obvious that the doctor who tries to separate Dean and Sam for their own good, because they're "dangerously codependent" is thought for a good while to be the monster, partly because of that assessment... when like... he was completely innocent and literally just doing his job pointing out the obvious. Their codependence has broken the world how many times now? Yeah... they definitely really could do with some time apart.

(throws up in my mouth a little bit thinking about the conversation I accidentally got myself wrapped up in a week or two ago with people who were upset at the thought that Sam and Dean wouldn't end up sharing a heaven and like.... hoooooly fuck we see this show from very different perspectives...)

Meanwhile, some of the narrative manipulation can be summed up quite tidily through some of their interactions with other patients:

--the girl who wanders the halls randomly kissing them, first Dean, and then Sam, because he's bigger... --Ted and the other patients in Sam's group therapy session: TED: (lowers his hand) I am calm. And I'd very calmly like to talk about the monster that's hunting us. DR. FULLER: Ted, we're not going to have that discussion again. It's not good for group. TED: I agree. You know what else isn't good for group? A monster eating all our faces off. DR. FULLER: Alright, fine, thank you. Now, anyone else? TED: I saw it...when it killed Susan. OTHER PATIENT: I did, too. It had big lobster claws. TED: No, it didn't. OTHER PATIENT: Yeah, and it was an alien, like on X-Files. TED: Stop it. Stop helping. Listen to me. We're all dead! DR. FULLER: That's enough. (leans forward, taking off his glasses) There is no monster.

"STOP HELPING!" Ted says. Because the lies aren't actually helping here. The other patients are just making stuff up, whether for attention or because they can't help themselves, but Ted is actually telling the truth, which gets drowned out and dismissed as just more delusional ravings. And then he ends up as the wraith's next victim.

Truth, lies, what's the real story here? And how do you see the truth? In mirrors.

YOU SEE THE TRUTH IN MIRRORS.

Except, sometimes the wraith can even affect what you see in the mirror-- both about yourself and others. For example, even Dean's entirely mentally invented doctor shows up in the mirror with him. She makes Dr. Fuller appear as a wraith, fueling their mistaken belief that he's the monster. And then when the wraith is closing in on them and knows they're on to her, she makes EVERYONE appear as wraiths in the mirror so she can continue hiding in plain sight, while also driving Dean's paranoia through the roof.

Dean, trying to convince the doctor he's fine, she starts throwing all the accusations he's had burning guilty holes in him for a long time:

DR. CARTWRIGHT: Come on, even you don't believe that. All this pressure that you're putting yourself under, all this guilt; it's killing you. You can't save everybody. You can't. (her voice becomes hard) Hell, these days, you can't save anybody, Dean. (turns to leave) DEAN: What did you say? DR. CARTWRIGHT: (turns back to him) The truth, Dean. You got Ellen and Jo killed. You shot Lucifer, but you couldn't gank him. DEAN begins to get confused and a little afraid. DR. CARTWRIGHT: You couldn't stop Sam from killing Lilith, and--oh, yeah--you broke the first seal. All you do is fail. Did you really think that you, Dean Winchester with a GED and a give-'em-hell attitude, were gonna beat the devil? DEAN gets a little more afraid. DR. CARTWRIGHT: Please. The world is gonna burn, and there is nothing that you can do about it. DEAN: Who are you? (voice rising) How do you know that stuff?

but it's then that he begins to realize just how bad he's been messed with:

DR. CARTWRIGHT: I'm not real, Dean. I'm in your head...because you are going crazy.

and he literally goes and huddles in a corner, having completely lost his grip on reality.

Meanwhile, Sam gets confronted by the real doctor, and has his problems listed off to him:

SAM: Yeah. Thanks. I, um...I just wanted to apologize. I feel horrible about what I did to you. I thought you were a monster. DR. FULLER: I know that. The question is, why? SAM: I was...It doesn't matter, um...because after what happened last night, I had a...moment of clarity. I realized...there's no such thing as monsters. DR. FULLER: Well, I'm glad to hear you say that, but, honestly? Monsters are the least of your problems. People can learn to live with delusions, but the anger I saw in you...You hurt those two men, and you were going to kill me. The look in your eyes when you came after me, I...It was like you were barely even human...like a man possessed.

like a man possessed... lol >.> Again, how much is is foreshadowed that Sam is due for Bad Things, and Dean will be left collapsed by his own guilt and loss by the end of the season? Especially as Dean sits nearly catatonic at a table in the corner while Sam starts an imaginary fight inside his own mind and gets himself dragged off to isolation. Dean, however, is still coherent enough to put together the clues and hunt down the wraith despite being drugged and manipulated by her.

At first he mistakenly believes they were infected by Wendy the random kissing patient, but they arrive at her room in time to watch the actual wraith attack her. Martin creates a distraction and tells Dean that he needs to go kill the wraith, but he's received a MASSIVE dose of her venom and can barely walk. Yet he is determined.

MARTIN: You've gotta get out there and kill that thing. I'll take care of her. MARTIN'S voice echoes in DEAN'S ears. DEAN: (shakes his head) I can't. MARTIN: You have to. You have no choice, son. The two orderlies walk in and grab MARTIN, who fights back. The orderlies are distracted by MARTIN. MARTIN: Go. Dean, run! Run!

And what the wraith tells Sam is interesting, too:

SAM: You did this to me! THE WRAITH: Well, I helped. But that rage? No, no, no. That's all you. I don't make crazy. I just crank up what's already there. You build your own hell, but I give you the Legos. And when you're ripe... I make all of your problems disappear.

And this terrifies Sam, because he knows she's right:

SAM: She was right. DEAN: No, she wasn't. She's dead, okay? Let's hit the road. I need a drink, or twelve. SAM: Most of the time, I can hide it, but...I am angry. I'm mad at everything. I used to be mad at you and Dad, then Lilith, now it's Lucifer, and I make excuses. I blame Ruby or the demon blood, but it's not their fault. It's not them. It's me. It's inside me. I'm mad...all the time...and I don't know why. DEAN: Stop. Stop it. So what if you are? What are you gonna do? You gonna take a leave of absence? You gonna say yes to Lucifer? What? SAM: No, of course not. I-- DEAN: Exactly. And that's exactly what you're gonna do. You're gonna take all that crap and you're gonna bury it. You're gonna forget about it, because that's how we keep going! That's how we don't end up like Martin! Are you with me?

So... pushing it all down, not the best strategy for long-term mental health, but pushing anger down specifically? That's something Dean's spent a lifetime doing. Sam, maybe not so much. When Sam's gotten angry in the past, he makes a plan and removes himself from the situation-- running away from home as a kid, running away to Stanford, making a totally new life for himself and just pretending the Bad Things didn't happen at all. Dean, on the other hand, just puts his head down and continues plowing through the bad things head first like a bull. And honestly neither of these are great coping strategies in real life, but the fact that Sam is just... so baffled as to the source of his anger, when he doesn't WANT to be angry but has so much legitimate REASON to be angry, is just heartbreaking. He thinks it's a personal failing, though, instead of a rational response to being so horrifically manipulated his whole life.

When Dean's anger reaches a peak, he just lets himself explode and doesn't feel guilty about exploding after the fact, you know? Which makes the manipulation he suffered via the wraith all the more painful for him. He just takes it and keeps on plowing through. He'll have a valid excuse to let that anger out sooner or later.

Meanwhile, his guilt over all of this will power him through to the next manipulative adventure the narrative has in store.

#spn 5.11 #s14 hellatus rewatch #sam sympathizes and dean empathizes #spiders georg of the tnt loop

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fleurdelisgigi · 6 years

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Where it all went wrong: Fiona ( or I......am drinking wine again)

So I've been seeing criticism about Gallavich shippers, the claim is that we only care about Mickey and Ian and that there are other characters in the show. But here is the thing, When I first started watching Shameless when the show first came out? I loved EVERYBODY, is it true that Mickey ended up being my numero uno? Yes, but in the beginning? First few episodes? It was Ian, Carl and Fiona. That's right. I actually really liked Fiona.

So that's who I am going to start with, why I began to hate Fiona.

In Season 1 Fiona was complex, interesting and rich. I wanted to know her, follow her through and see where she ended up. She was a 21 year old girl taking care of her 5 other siblings because her father was a alcoholic/drug addict and her mother was gone. We are lead to believe that this has been going on since she was a child (confirmed in season 3), in the first episode we are basically told that she has low self esteem and uses sex as a means to feel good about herself ( the girl who gave it up in a Wendy's drive through. “You've done that more then once?!”). But even with her issues she was strong and independent and she loved her family and would do anything for them.

Now in the beginning (before season 4) I could excuse her neglect of her siblings, here's why: firstly she was 21 years old, when I was 21... I can not imagine having to care for 5 kids let alone 1! So when it comes to Lip and Ian, I get it. They are 16 & 15, in her eyes that is practically adulthood (she dropped out of school at 15 to care for her siblings if I'm remembering that right), Carl and Debbie are also at an age where they can..... theoretically be on their own a little bit. She is working as many temp jobs as she possibly can to keep her family a float, she isn't home all the time and lets face it, she has dropped a lot of her life to be able to provide for this family and I'm not judging her (yeeeeeet!)

Her relationship with Jimmy shows us our first glimpse of her being a “chaos addict” (which, why is it that the writers for some reason could foreshadow and create a semblance continuity for s1-4???) in that she doesn't decide to JUMP RIGHT ONE THAT JIMMY TRAIN until he shows her that he is a car thief. ANYway, my point is, S1 Fiona was where it was at.

Season 2 Fiona waaaas, OK, I didn't really understand the whole friendship with Jasmine and this is where we are introduced to the Shameless writers love for Character assassination! Here is a mini tangent – Jasmine started out in S1 as a helpful new friend, could I see the possible bisexual/lesbian angle? Sure. Did the show have to go that way? NO IT DIDN'T. This show has a way of being really...shitty when it comes to showcasing relationships. I'm sorry but I have had plenty of friendships where no one wanted to fuck me and vice versa. Anyways, it decides to make Jasmine a …. cheater and gold digger who is trying to set Fiona up with rich bachelors and who is also in LOVE with Fiona? When Fi has giving her absolutely nothing? I just hated that so much and it made Fiona kind of look like a jack ass?

ANY-ways (once again), I still liked Fi in Season 2 but she was... I didn't agree with her sleeping with a dude she KNEW was married, though that bit her in the ass and was generally amusing and just kind of shows the kind of girl she is (which, once again, no judgment). She sleeps around, shes kind of loose. She's SHAMELESS.

Season 3 is where Fi started to loose me a little bit. I wasn't a fan of how she was treating Jimmy/Steve in the beginning (then J/S became.... a weird cheater which, I just don't get why ANYONE in this god damn show can't seem to have a god damn conversation with their significant other?! Like I feel like even as secretive and emotionally fucked up I can be I would tell my boyfriend (if I was in J/S's place).... “Hey sooooo it looks like the cartel is upset that I'm not participating in my farce of a marriage so I'll have to go over there sometimes”) but she really redeemed herself with fighting for guardianship of the kids (Which later she doesn't give a fuck about).

Then lets look at Fiona's downward spiral, Season 4 opens with me saying “Fuck you Fiona” Because she doesn't seem to give ANY shits about her 17! year old brother who is missing. Now I don't hate Fiona for the coke situation. I'm going to state that now. What I do blame her for is the whole... sleeping with her boyfriend's brother thing.... WTF?! I....... just couldn't understand it, sure she wasn't super into Cup Mike, but REALLY Fiona? REALLY? I thought the whole thing was gross. Then the coke thing happened and that was a huge wake up call. I don't blame her, I've been both an Au Pair and a Nanny, you can't always have your eyes on kids and shit happens (though not shit as fucking ridiculous as that but not everyone has a dude just show up with random coke).

Then there is S5 Fiona whoooooo? Doesn't give a fuck about Ian? Not enough to visit him or anything. They go for a run ONCE that we see and other then that? She talks to Mickey the one time. That's it. And I mean the show could be making it seem that she might go on runs with Ian normally THEY NEED TO ACTUALLY SHOW US SHIT GOD DAMN IT. Her plot was also just about DICK holy shit?! Its starts with this new fucking dude Sean, who we are just introduced to out of no where (like the first thought I had was “Who the fuck is this guy?!”) then the Australian (….he's Australian, right?) singer, then Gus its just DICK AFTER DICK. Where did her plot gooooo? Like …. I feel like the Fiona back in S1- 3 wasn't the type of chick to let a Man or Men fuck up her life this much? Also not quite the girl to make such HORRIBLE mistakes?! She didn't let Jimmy/Steve manipulate her life, so why is it happening now? Why is her life all of a sudden all about men? Sooooo here is about where I check out. I checked the fuck out. She married this Gus guy out of NO WHERE and I was done with her and her story line. (also the whole Jimmy/Jack/Steve story line was bullshit retconning character assassination and I am not acknowledging it)

S6....... I don't really remember what her story was about because I couldn't give two shits, but she's dating Sean (Man do I need to re-watch...... I am currently re watching I'm at S1 E 3 soooooooo yeah) Then S7 she becomes a Mega bitch who abandons her family, demands they (even the underage ones) pay rent and........ fucks all the men on Tinder? Like...... man I don't even give a fuck, she gives shitty advice and is shitty and starts businesses out of NOTHING, FUCK YOU WRITERS ITS FUCKING HARD TO START A FUCKING BUSSINESS ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? None of the shit she is doing is ANYTHING she would be able to actually do and reality is non existent and I don't care. I'll admit this right here and now, I didn't watch any of Fiona's shit in S6., but I did in S7 and it was so boring I can't really remember what the fuck happened.

Sadly my growing dislike for her is infecting the previous seasons (1-3). Anyway.

Next Time : Lip

#Shameless US #shameless #gallavich #mickey milkovich #Ian Gallagher #lip gallagher #Fiona Gallagher #Fiona post #wine rant #Ill regret this #I may or may not delete this in the morning

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hawaiwaii · 4 years

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Nov 6

Beat the alarm. Managed to sleep for 11 hours. Unbelievable. Last time I would have done that was after Rhythm in first year when I slept in Craigie’s basement for about 14 hours straight.

Double stack pancakes again for brekky. Not long to go till I can try hot cakes at maccas again. Everyone was up.

Cleaned myself up and equipped myself for work. Managed to do quite a bit. Mostly moving emails and work for people around. Rather hard to work really. I crashed the entire hotels internet network trying to make a Skype call. Won’t be doing that again.

Kristi dropped Wendy and Morgan at the airport so it’s just Matt, Kristi, and myself here now. Wondered down through the neighbourhood to Fusion for lunch. Nice little spot on the water. Decent food. Coupleee beers as always. Gotta drink em fast before the humidity leaves you with a summer warm beer. Paid for lunch. Forgot the receipt. Fuck.

Work proved all too difficult so we went on an adventure. Some dodgy downloaded sat nav guided us to Nan Madol - some of the oldest ruins in the world. People can’t even put a date in them they are that old. Speaking of old, the car ride there got pretty old, pretty quickly. Matt took the queen, Kristi kept him occupied and I gazed out the window aimlessly assessing the jungle, housing situation, and tried to decide who owned what dog(s). Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Almost as present as rubbish. Best highlight of the drive was seeing someone cut someone else’s hair into a Mohawk on their smoko break as we drove past. Interesting I thought.

We arrived at the road for the ruins. Thought we got scammed but turned out okay. We walked through private land; paying “tolls” to get past. Favourably places houses I reckoned. Toilet situation was interesting.

The jungle itself is kind of spooky. You know that feeling when you’re walking and someone is watching you but you never see them? That’s what this was like. A path lined with basalt rocks and paved with coral showed us the way. There is several mini basalt islands along the trail to the main feature. Looks like they were from a battle of rock men. Or where the Pokémon Onyx would live.

Craftsmanship of these is impressive. These things have dove tail corner detailing and the main one is at least 6m high I’d say. They are scattered around like little islands. It was like finding something from an Indiana Jones film - a lost temple by the ocean. Seems it has a more around it, we decided to cross. Nearly lost a slide to the depths of the 600mm deep mote with a sinking bottom. No slides were lost. Great outdoor footwear slides. Good to put a few miles on the new ones. Anyway, we circumnavigated the rock structure, marvellous. It truly is a thing of beauty. Some of the basalt chunks are 4m long and up to about 6 tonne. Unsure how they were positioned.....

We came around to the main entrance. I didn’t want to go in. Something just felt wrong about doing it. I stood out front while the other two ventured in. In my mind I wouldn’t be surprised if random bush people jumped out and kidnapped us. It is that kind of remoteness and ruin site. Very cool. But still. Quiet. Spooky. Really like you shouldn’t be there. Interesting tourist attraction.

Dark was falling. We high tailed it back to the car, and made heading for a quick waterfall stop. Got flagged down by someone else we should have paid as well. Paid them and on we went. Got there. Decided wondering into the jungle for $10USD in the dark with no idea where we were going was a bad idea (takes a big breath out) so we carried on to dinner. I fell asleep in the back of the car.

Usual spread at Mangrove Bar. Really liking the fresh tuna sashimi, never thought I would. Are too much again. Really need to put some miles on the legs at some stage soon.

Really starting to enjoy living in shorts, a t-shirt, and slides. Feels like summer. It’s nice.

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misanthropicmegara · 5 years

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Excerpt from WIP

Once I had rejoined the others in the field, I felt much like a spy. I strode out among the other workers, not bothering to blend in because that was impossible. I was taller than all but a select few of the other men, and the way the sun brought out the red in my hair made me the most easily recognizable from a distance. I didn’t bother hiding my grin as I got back to work, and even began to sing for the first time in months. I wondered what the rest of the band would think of me singing one of our songs in a vineyard in the boot heel of Italy. Maybe I’d tell them about it later, if I remembered. If the others were bothered by the somewhat juvenile lines from the greatest hits of Shamrock Sledge, I didn’t notice. When I’d written the lyrics, I hadn’t even comprehended what their true meaning could be. I’d never been drunk on such a cocktail of admiration and affection for one person before, not to mention how I couldn’t keep my eyes off Rosanna. Even when she was disheveled and feeling like garbage, I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. “We get it, you’re a young cocoş, could you spare us your gloating about it?” Luca called from another row. I’d heard enough Romanian to know he was talking about a rooster, and grinned over the heads of everyone between us to show Luca he had no power to shame me. “I talked to the boss! She’s feeling poorly and has asked me to deliver her food and pick up her medicines! Guess who’s getting paid overtime?” I did a little dance as if that were all I had to look forward to, but if I were asked, I couldn’t lie and pretend I wasn’t more thrilled to spend a night far apart from Rosanna but under the same roof than I was to go back to the hotel room with Luca. It occurred to me then that Luca would require an explanation for my whereabouts or he’d make the obvious assumptions. The way he was looking across the vines at me indicated he already was. Rosanna would not appreciate that. I’d catch him when I went back out, I told myself, or leave a note in the hotel. Rosanna had no idea how little luggage I had, considering I liked to stay mobile at all times. I’d end up bringing everything and it would take five minutes tops to pack. Hopefully she’d let me do my laundry in something I wouldn’t have to watch the whole time to make sure my laundry wouldn’t get mixed in with just anyone’s clothes. How could we mistake each other’s clothes for our own, anyway? The time that passed had no effect on me, other than how many songs I could fit in before the call came in. I was so clumsy with excitement I nearly dropped my phone, only to find I had to strain my ears to ensure I could actually hear Rosanna’s soft voice. “Liam? This is you, yes? Your first stop will be the gate to wait for the taxi. They didn’t want to drive up around the back when you could just meet them there. You’ll be driven in the back way when you return.” “Eh? Oh, all right! Are you sending me the directions?” I asked as I adjusted to her volume. “Yes, as soon as you hang up. Now don’t be obvious, you gigantic puppy, or I’ll call it all off.” I straightened up at once with that thought in mind. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you down!” I said loudly enough for most people to hear me without it being obvious I wanted them to. I didn’t hang up the phone as I waved at all of them and made my way toward the gate to meet the taxi. Down by the gate, as I had every day since my arrival, I admired the gatehouse. It looked like a feature of a castle, something that someone would drop attacks on invaders from. I couldn’t peek through any of the windows, since the blinds and curtains were all drawn, but I could guess that the furniture was probably the same as the library had been. If only someone would move in and make its interior seem worthy of its exterior. The taxi and Rosanna’s instructions arrived together, so I read them from the front seat of the taxi. The food was going to be ready in twenty minutes, she’d ordered some freshly made and enough for the leftovers to last her a couple days. She also mentioned that she knew I wasn’t allergic to anything from my file, so she had gone ahead and chosen her favorites without worrying about whether we could safely share. It wasn’t the most conventional date I’d ever gone on, but I couldn’t say I’d ever been more enthusiastic about one. It sure beat letting Grant drive us to Wendy’s while he sat a couple tables away and watched our every move. Sometimes he could be my best friend, but at others, he really knew how to turn up the volume on that big brother boss mode. I caught a few sidelong glances from the taxi driver, and turned full on to look right back at him. “What’s going on?” I asked, “got something on your mind?” “I know there’s a fine lady that lives in that house. You’re her errand boy?’’ “Sort of,” I acknowledged, relaxing since he probably wasn’t about to claim I had no soul. “Do you know what happened in there? I wouldn’t want to go anywhere nearer than the gate, let alone spend all day out there. They had to let everyone go after the attack, since there was only the girl to run the place and she had to spend so much time being watched over at the hospital.” “Was she badly hurt?” I asked, the memory of how Rosanna could struggle with her breathing creeping up on me. She didn’t act at all as if she had asthma, it was something else… “Who would know? She was able to hide it from the press, somehow. She won’t discuss it when I pick her up, and trust me I do nearly every time she can’t drive herself somewhere. It’s a bit of a rumor in the town what might have happened. Things like that haven’t happened before or since, and we’re all seized with the worst curiosity. Have you seen the lady in person? Did you notice anything that might be a hint what happened?” I thought about the way her side seemed to bother her, and wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms and let the pain heal on its own. There was no way I would let word about her weakness reach hungry ears, especially as someone could easily use it against her should they mean to. “I don’t think I’ve seen anything like that,” I said, “but it’s not right to gossip about someone, especially not someone who’s been through something like what she’s gone through. You’ve got to have more respect for people who’ve survived those kinds of things.” The taxi driver had by now decided I wasn’t any fun, and waved his hand to silence me. “You’re just going to make this ride last for ages, aren’t you? Now how about we talk about you? It’s not gossip if it’s to your face.” “Oh, yes, that’s true enough. Well go on, what do you have in mind to ask?” “Are you one of the laborers or a personal assistant? You seem like a mixture of both. Why does the lady need someone to do a job like that so suddenly?” “Ah, that’s her own choice,” I said, puffing out my chest a little bit as if that might intimidate the man driving the car I was strapped into. “I only know that she wants the help tonight, I don’t think it’s a permanent situation. But whether it is or not is her own business.” “Ugh, fine. And what are you doing here, aren’t there enough jobs in America?” “There are, but I wanted to see the world. I didn’t want to do it backpacking without a goal in mind. I want to create and build and leave a mark where I go, learning as I do. I’m on a grand mission to teach myself what works in a vineyard so I can go back and tend my own.” That was my rehearsed response, and I’d gotten great at saying it. But it was far from the whole truth, and only my family would have as clue about that. There were things I could bear recreating, scenarios it didn’t pain and frighten me to relive, but to walk in the same old places, that I couldn’t yet bear to face. I’d run so far away to become someone who wasn’t that guy, the one it happened to. I wasn’t about to tell a random Italian stranger about it. Yet, I knew for a certainty that I would tell Rosanna whatever she wanted to know, and wasn’t she more or less a stranger to me? I brooded over this in silence until we pulled into one of the spaces in front of my hotel. I hurried in, eager to be done with the place. A mad little moth in my head chomped away at my brain, making me daft enough to think I’d never have to come back, and I’d be able to sleep on Rosanna’s couch until… well, until I left, I guessed, but the brain moth didn’t care so much that far into the future. I pulled the family photo off my bedside table first, unwilling to sleep apart from it, as well as my actual family. I made sure to get every bit of technology, and finally roll the suitcase to the door. I wrote on the hotel stationary, “Luca, I’m staying overnight at the vineyard in case our boss needs something. She’s sick and tired of nurses. Enjoy having the room to yourself! And please don’t tell the others, nothing is going on.” That last line was a ridiculous lie, at least as far as I was concerned, but if someone asked Rosanna, she would have said the same thing and meant it. On the way out of the hotel, I passed the usual nightly revelry at the bar. I waved at the others as I passed, and got a refresher course in the more ribald portions of my English-Romanian phrasebook. “Yeah, yeah, you laugh now, but I’m making sure our boss doesn’t die, so when you get your next paycheck you be grateful!” By the time I made it to the door, they were calling me Nurse Cockerel, which wasn’t entirely wrong. The taxi driver next took me to a restaurant packed with customers, all of them wearing what looked like expensive clothes. It occurred to me that if I had the money, this would be the perfect date spot, and I’d still probably never get a reservation. Was this Rosanna’s idea of comfort food? The taxi went around the back, where an old woman was waiting with two large bags of food marked, “Conte.” The woman had a sweet face, but there was a suspicious squint in her eyes that I didn’t think was her usual expression when I climbed out to pick up the food. “You’re the boy I was told about,” she said, her accent thick but still not making it difficult to understand her. “What are you after with Rosanna?” she folded her arms as she glared up at me. “You know her?” I glanced at the bags of food, noticing how something smelled an awful lot like shepherd’s pie. How could that be? It definitely wasn’t an Irish restaurant… “Of course, I know her. I used to work for her family,” the old woman said. “Now, answer my question. What are you doing inviting yourself to stay with her tonight?” “She’s sick,” I said, giving her my prize-winning smile,“she has trouble walking, and she seems like that doesn’t bother her so much. Someone has to watch over her but she won’t let a nurse do it. I volunteered.” “You better not hurt her,” the woman said, “I’ll tell her what she needs to hear if you do. She’s been through enough without you breaking her heart. If you’re planning to leave her n your dust, I’ll personally advise her to get rid of you before you can.” “It’s wonderful that she has someone looking out for her,” I said truthfully, placing a hand over my heart. “I’d never hurt her intentionally, and if I accidentally did, I’d do everything possible to make it right. Ever since I’ve met her, I’ve had this belief that I was sent here to help her. Not just with the field, but… she can’t be alone, anymore. It has to stop somewhere… I understand that you can’t be there anymore, she was probably away and you needed work… Now that she’s back in that house, it’s dangerous for her to be alone. She needs someone who can afford to check in on her, and for now that person is me. Do you trust me?” Some of the suspicion had drained from the woman’s eyes as she peered at me, but even when she relaxed more she asked, “How long have you known her to have such strong feelings about her? Are you one who flits about feeling strongly then departing?” “Never,” I said firmly. “Yes, it’s been a short time, but I’ve learned so much… Nobody should go through what she’s struggling with alone, and I’m not going to be the person who knows about her alone and in pain without trying to help. She needs to be shown that there’s more to the world than what she’s seen.” “And you think you can do it,” the old woman shook her head. “I was the cook who kept her fed when she was locked away and missed meals. I taught her to make food and pour all the love she couldn’t have for her parents into it. And I’ve never succeeded in this. What makes you different?” I picked up the bag slowly, making no sudden movements. “When something like this happened to me, I had an entire family to comfort me, to be there when I needed them. She has nobody except me. I will not fail her.”

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justanotherwannabeclassic · 7 years

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First chapter of Roses in December

Roses in December - Chapter 1 - “Director’s” Commentary

“God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.” – J.M. Barrie

Fun Fact: I was looking for quotes about memory, and it was only by chance I stumbled across this one by J.M. Barrie, and it felt perfect. I hadn’t intentionally looked for anything by him.

It’s a cool October morning when she receives the call that her apartment in Boston had caught fire, destroying everything she and Henry owned. They’re in Maine when they get the call, and Emma is immensely thankful that she had made the decision to show Henry her beginnings, if only because it saved them the danger.

Emma doesn’t know why, but instead of finding a new place in Boston, she decides to start over with Henry in New York. She’s never lived in New York, nor does she have friends there. But moving seems right, and nothing is really holding them to Boston. She can work in bail bonds anywhere, and the school Henry attends is hardly the best. Besides, she’s been feeling restless lately. Maybe it is time for a profound change.

A month after she signs a new lease, and the landlord hands over the key, another profound change comes – a positive pregnancy test.

-/-

She doesn’t remember the father very much – just dark hair, blue eyes, and a lilting accent. Embarrassing as it is, she can’t even recall his name. The most vivid memory she has of him isn’t really about him at all – it’s the feeling of finally finding someone who understands her.

-/-

She doesn’t consider abortion.

She’s always been a strong proponent of a woman’s right to choose, and wouldn’t never judge another for making that decision. Her reasoning lies with the fact that she kept Henry when she was in a more dire position, and despite the humiliation of accidentally falling pregnant twice by two absentee men, she doesn’t think it would be fair to get rid of this one when her life is more than alright.

Besides, most importantly, she wants this, wants it.

Emma considers herself lucky. A single mother of two is hardly an enviable position, but over the years she’s made a few smart investments that have created quite the nest egg.

It seems magical, really, her luck since getting out of prison, but she won’t question it, not since it allows her to provide a stable life for her and Henry, and now the newest addition to their family.

I felt like Emma mulling over an abortion here was important, because a near thirty-year-old woman who had an unplanned pregnancy with the father not in the picture would certainly consider it.

-/-

Emma waits until the start of the second trimester to tell Henry that he is going to be a big brother. She tells herself it is because she doesn’t want to get his hopes up in case she miscarries, but no small part of her delay is because she’s dreading explaining not just the inevitable mechanics of “where babies come from”, but also that she has random sex with men whose names she doesn’t remember.

Her son continues to amaze her, though, and he takes it all in stride, asking just a few entirely embarrassing questions.

What gets her is when he hugs her and says, “I love you, Mom. This is going to be so awesome.”

-/-

Henry takes it upon himself to create a list of baby names. He checks out books from the library, and explains the meaning of each one. In typical ten-year-old fashion, the names Henry picks also correspond with his favorite fictional heroes.

“We are not naming it Peter,” Emma says, her nose wrinkling in disgust. The name doesn’t sit right with her, even though her son insists that being named after Spider-Man is ‘totally cool’. “Besides, what if it’s a girl?”

Henry rolls his eyes, and hands her the list of girl names. It doesn’t escape her notices that the top names on the list are those of Disney princesses.

-/-

The day Henry comes home and announces that his class is starting a unit on Peter Pan is the day that Emma discovers that she is having a girl. They watch the movie that night, a giant bowl of popcorn between them.

“What about Wendy?” Henry asks midway through the film.

“What about her?”

“For my sister,” Henry answers, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. “Wendy Swan.”

And it is.

Wendy’s name is the second thing I came up with regarding this story. I wanted something that would be a connection to either Hook or the fairytale characters back home. One day, I remembered that in the play, Hook and Mr. Darling’s character are cast as the same person. Thus, I settled on the name Wendy. (This joke gets explained later.)

-/-

She notices a furniture store just a few blocks from her apartment called The Wizard of Oak. She’s passed it a few times, but has never gone in due to not having the need. But as her stomach swells and due date quickly approaches, she finds herself wandering into the store, its bells chiming as she crosses the threshold from the outside.

The storeowner greets her, but there is something unsettling about his smile and the way his eyes linger down to her burgeoning stomach that puts Emma on edge. Trusting her gut, she leaves almost immediately.

Instead, Emma settles on purchasing a crib at Ikea.

Honestly, I didn’t think it was exactly in-character for Emma to want to get into a relationship with Walsh (or anyone) while carrying another man’s baby. But since this is a canon divergence, I wanted to explain why he wasn’t there. Fun fact: Walsh almost made a reappearance in a later chapter thanking Emma from freeing him from Zelena’s hold.

-/-

“Did you know that in the play, the guys who plays Wendy’s dad also plays Captain Hook?”

See? The joke gets explained.

-/-

Her labor is an eight-hour affair full of screaming and nurses encouraging her to push. As with Henry’s birth, she is alone. The realization alone hurts more than it should, but she does her best to tamp it down. She tells herself this is not the time to think of such thing when her heart is so full, because though both Henry and Wendy’s fathers are gone, she still has her children.

They are more than enough.

Finally, finally, her daughter is born. When the doctor hands her over, swaddled and screaming, Emma reaches out to count her ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes. Tears in her eyes, she leans down to place a kiss on the top of her head, already covered with a soft smattering of dark hair.

In a flash of rainbow light, Emma remembers.

This final line right here is the first line I ever wrote in this story. Because a “missing year baby” is a popular trope in the CS fandom, it was my goal with this one-shot (because at the time it was a one-shot), to find something unique. Thus, Emma remembering became my twist. (When you all read the plot summary I had on AO3, you guys totally thought it was Hook making her remember, didn’t you?)

-/-

BirthdaycandlesHenryknockingonherdoorReginaMaryMargaretGrahamTheDarkCurseOnceUponaTimeParentsherparentsherparentsloveherandTheEnchantedForestyouneedmealivebeantstalksloveandleavingandNealandRumplestiltskinTamaraGregNeverlandPeterPanand…

Hook.

-/-

Emma is ashamed to admit that she spends the hours after Wendy’s birth in the daze, the combination of both it and the return of her memories too overwhelming. At some point, Avery’s mother drops off Henry at the hospital. Her son is ecstatic to meet his younger sister, and tears spring to her eyes as she watches him delicately cradle Wendy in his arms.

That night she doesn’t sleep, but instead lies in the hospital bed staring up at the ceiling. Henry is sprawled on the couch asleep, and Wendy is wherever they keep newborn babies. She loves her children. Truly loves them, so much so that a brush of her lips against their skin can break even the most powerful of curses.

She reasons that the only reason kissing Wendy restored her memories was because no one knew of her existence when Regina took away both her and Henry’s memories. Wendy had been nothing more than a clump of cells at the point, barely developing in her womb. The magic must not have taken with her. It had only been a memory curse, after all, and Wendy had no memories of which to alter.

Emma spends an unreasonable time pondering if she should change her daughter’s name. She’s spent so long referring to her daughter as Wendy that it would feel almost unfair to change it, but it feels strange now knowing that the real Wendy Darling is out there somewhere. Besides, the name now feels a little too on the nose, considering the infant’s father is literally Captain Hook.

She decides to keep it, however, unwilling to allow a world that may or may not exist dictate her daughter’s life.

Her daughter is Wendy Margaret Swan, born on the Fourth of July, weighing six pounds and eight ounces – her other True Love.

I wanted to pick a birthdate for her, so why not choose a holiday? It shows up again in the holiday special!

-/-

Instead of going home like most new parents do, Emma piles Henry into the back of the bug, securely fastens Wendy into her car seat, and she drives. She drives and she drives – across state lines, through the afternoon and into the night, and finally, into the state of Maine.

The stop a few times along the way, mostly for sustenance and bathroom breaks. She changes Wendy’s diaper in a truck stop bathroom, and feeds her in the parking lot of a McDonald’s as Henry devours a large order of French Fries. It hurts a bit, the way Wendy latches onto her breast. This part of motherhood is still so foreign to her. She bottle-fed Henry, though more out of necessity more than desire.

Only she didn’t bottle-feed Henry, did she?

The realization that the entirety of her memories of Henry’s life are fabricated is a painful one, and she feels bile rise in her throat that she does her best to tamp down. She’s spent so much time thinking of who was left behind in Storybrooke to focus on the fact that she’s been living a lie for the nine month. Unable to stop herself, tears begin to track down her cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” Henry asks. He’s been uncharacteristically quiet this whole trip, for which Emma has been thankful.

“Breastfeeding just sucks, kid,” she tells him. It’s a partial lie, and Emma wonders how many more she will have tell him since he has not regained his memories. It’s an uncomfortable reality they’ve found themselves in, and Emma doesn’t know how long she will need to keep up the charade. Hours? Days? Weeks? Forever?

She needs to get to Storybrooke, if not for her own peace of mind, but for Henry.

Only Storybrooke doesn’t exist.

She drives the familiar routes to where the town should be. White-knuckled, she grips the steering wheel as she nears what should be the town line. Only she never reaches it, or she does, there is no way to know. She drives and she drives, and all she passes are the dense trees of the forest.

Eventually, she gives up.

There is no going home.

-/-

She thinks of Hook often.

Wendy has inherited his hair and his eyes, as well as his ability to be equal parts maddening and charming. She doesn’t believe in sleeping during nighttime hours, which drives both Emma and Henry crazy. After a particularly awful night, Henry had grumbled that he should sell her off to Captain Hook, and Emma felt her heart seize at her son’s unknowing reference.

She wonders how Hook would have reacted if there hadn’t been the curse, if Pan had somehow been defeated at an earlier hour, and everyone had been allowed to stay within the confines of the town line. Would he have wanted to be a fixture in Wendy’s life? In Neverland, he had told her that he intended to win her heart, but another child had not been an explicit part of the deal.

Emma reasons that it is best that she does not know the answer to that question. It’s much easier to pretend that he might have wanted to be in her life, than face the reality of him choosing to walk away. She’d already faced that reality with Neal once, she doesn’t want to do so again.

Besides, this way, Wendy will never know the pain of being rejected. She will have enough love from one parent for her miss having two.

-/-

She begins a journal – two, actually – one for Henry and the other for Wendy.

She marks down their accomplishments on each page, detailing what is going on in their lives. For Henry, she writes about the subjects he is studying in school, the games he is playing, and the friends he’s made. For Wendy, she describes the tiny things: her smile, her laugh, and the tiny noises she makes.

It’s silly, really, because she’s writing down all of these things in the hope that she will one day be able to hand them over to Regina, Neal, and Hook to fill them in on what they’ve missed.

It’s all a futile effort, though. They aren’t coming back.

-/-

Emma looks forward to the end of her self-imposed maternity leave. Catching skips was near impossible in her third trimester, and her body needed a recovery period after giving birth. Still, she misses working. It provides her a sense of fulfillment at doing something good and right. She also finds strength in serving as a role model for her children.

Every now and then, Emma checks her bank account, partially out of fear that her regained memories also broke whatever magic Regina bestowed upon her finances.

To a degree, Emma feels uncomfortable relying on the magical charity created by the Evil Queen that allows her, Henry, and Wendy to live stable and comfortable lives. It’s all unearned and unreal, but Emma can’t fault Henry’s other mother for wanting to ensure her son had his best chance.

After all, it’s what she did.

This is me headcanoning how Emma could afford a fancy apartment in Manhattan on a bailbonds salary. Because magic is the only thing that could pull that off, and Regina strikes me as someone who would ensure everything safe for Henry.

-/-

Emma dresses Wendy in pink frills and cute headbands. It’s not her style, and the feminist in her loathes the obvious gendering, but it’s something Mary Margaret would do. So Emma puts Wendy in dresses and bows to give her a piece of the grandmother she will never meet.

She thinks Mary Margaret would love being a grandmother again. Emma remembers her mother’s confession in Echo Cave, and though Wendy isn’t her own child, she’s still a new addition to the family. Wendy would be doted on endlessly, had they lived in Storybrooke. Not just by Mary Margaret, but by David, as well.

She wonders how they are doing in the Enchanted Forest. Are they ruling the kingdom? Are they happy? Do they miss her? Is Hook with them?

It stings that she may never know.

-/-

She once said that the worst thing to give someone is false hope. She wishes she had taken her own advice. Every time her phone rings, she feels a swoop in her stomach a voice in her head thinks it could be Regina or David calling to let her know that somehow they had found a way back into her world.

That call never comes.

-/-

There’s this tree in the park that Henry absolutely loves. Emma now knows that it is his subconscious drawing him there, that the tree somehow reminds him of Regina. The selfish part of her longs for it to trigger his memories into returning, so she always brings him over whenever he requests it. It never does, however, and she is surprised whenever she feels a slight wave of relief.

It’s easier this way, his lack of memory. He’s a happy kid, and Emma knows the knowledge that his family is out there unable to find them would destroy him. As much as she wishes she had someone to share the burden of memory with, it’s for the best that is isn’t him.

She does tell Wendy, in the dark of the night, everything about her family – David and Mary Margaret, Hook, even Neal and Regina. She tells her daughter of beanstalks and giants, and of pirate ships that can fly. Emma will stop when Wendy grows older and can retain memories, but for now the infant is her only confidante.

It’s enough for now.

If you notice in past few sections, Emma spends a lot of time not just thinking about Hook, but others as well. This is intentional. Emma, in short, lost everything. Her family and friends, not just someone she was starting to see as a partner. Through much of this chapter, she is grieving. She dresses Emma how her mother would, wishes her father would call, etc. And honestly, there’s something just so tragic to me about the idea of Emma telling all of this to Wendy knowing that she won’t remember, but trying so hard to keep her family’s meaning alive.

-/-

It shocks her how little she thinks of Neal. She spent so many years hating him, only to find him again, that it’s a surprise how little he occupies her thoughts whenever they stray to Storybrooke and the Enchanted Forest.

It also shocks her how much she thinks of Hook. Along with her parents, it is him whom she misses the most. She tells herself that it is because of Wendy, and maybe if she says it enough time, she will believe it.

-/-

Some nights, she dreams of Neverland.

Some nights, Henry is once again taken, and other times, it is Wendy.

In these dreams, no matter how hard she tries to get them back, she fails, always fails, and when she wakes, she is drenched in a cold sweat.

As much as she misses her family, these dreams remind her that New York City is far safer than Storybrooke.

-/-

She finally begins to accept that it is best that she, Henry, and Wendy are where they are – the Land Without Magic – and that she will never be reunited with her family again. She wills herself to believe that things are better this way, safer this way, and that her children will be happier here.

And, of course, this is when everything changes.

-/-

It’s early Friday morning when someone knocks at the door.

Henry is watering the plants, Wendy is asleep in her swing, and Emma is still clad in her pajamas. It’s an idyllic morning, a normal morning, so when she hears the insistent knocking, she knows something is not right.

But she goes to the door anyway, and when she sees who is on the other side, her world shatters and suddenly it feels as if she cannot breathe. She is full of confusion, joy, fear, apprehension and oh my god, he came for us, because –

“Hook.”

And then a bunch of people yelled at me to continue the story, so I did.

#s does commentary #s writes roses in december #lenfaz #s replies to things

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casantaloupe · 7 years

Text

So for my creative writing class I had to write a story of a character I made up meeting a zombie for the first time. So that happened. Anyway, I kinda liked it so here it is under the cut

Allow me to describe for you the first time I encountered the undead. It’s a moment that sticks with you, not just because of how terrifying it is, but because of how often you’ve imagined it before. And how wrong you were each of those times. You see, I’d always imagined that someday I’d run into some slow, sniffling, mostly-dead-but-not-really mass of rotting tissue in a dark alley, slowly cutting off my only escape and dooming me to a final five or six minutes of pure terror before it eviscerated my sorry ass. Or, if I was feeling particularly confident that day, I’d imagine how it would feel to run into that same situation and beat the living shit out of it. Well, non-living shit. You get the idea.

I’d imagine it cutting me off in the alley and slowly ambling toward me, my resolve hardening as the threat grew closer. Then, if I was feeling romantic, perhaps there would be a distressed, scantily-clad, damsel behind me, relying on me for her defense. Naturally, this fantasy would progress to me absolutely brutalizing this poor undead bastard, somehow without ruining my hair, and then the aforementioned damsel would be so impressed by my stunning display of masculinity and martial affinity that she would demand that I make love to her right then and there, undead corpse (is that superfluous?) notwithstanding.

And then I would wake up and remember that, considering who I am as a person and the women that I typically keep company with, this situation would probably be reversed. Whatever woman was unfortunate enough to babysit my useless ass would go re-murder the creature while I hid behind a dumpster, taking solace in the fact that I wasn’t the only trash in the alley and letting out a few super-manly squeaks whenever a piece of the undead getting its shit kicked in happened to land near me.

But, surprisingly enough, neither of these things is what happened the first time I met an undead. For one thing, we met at the Wendy’s drive through. On the other hand, I honestly didn’t realize what it was until I’d literally touched it. Now, I recognize, and freely admit, that I’m a grade A, FDA-approved dumbass. But this might’ve been the single dumbest moment of my life. Actually, I take that back. That thing with the C4 in the fireplace probably was (shut up, I needed to hide a birthday present). But this was the second dumbest moment of my life.

As I said before, I was in the Wendy’s drive through. You’d think that a literal zombie apocalypse would close down Wendy’s, or at least the drive through, but you’d be wrong. Living dead in the streets? Fuck it, let’s get a frosty.

The zombie had apparently had the same thought, and I ended up stuck behind him (them? Does gender carry over into zombieness? I kinda doubt it. I mean, I guess I could’ve asked them for their preferred pronouns but I don’t know how to spell argghghhgughghugh very well. Shit I just did. Ok, I don’t want to type that every time I refer to it. Or try to figure out plurals and possessives and all that shit. Fuck it, I’m just gonna use them. Or it. They/it can eat a dick-shaped brain if they don’t like it.) So here we were. Me, in my ’97 Toyota Avalon, in line for a Baconator and a frosty. The zombie, just standing right by the window doing nothing while a tired teenager who wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with this tried to convince it to go away. Now, I had the windows up and had some music on (Here I Go Again by White Snake. What? I’d had a shitty day and needed some motivation to go on. You try listening to that song and not getting motivated. Hell, it almost motivated me to order a chicken sandwich instead of the Baconator. Almost.), so I didn’t hear any of this. All I saw was delicious beef and bacon, and some stupid fuck standing in my way. So I honked. A lot. And when that did nothing, I did what any rational human being would do: I kept honking. Because I’m a problem-solver.

After about thirty seconds of honking, my attention span was stretched to the breaking point and I decided to get out of the car (pro tip: NEVER GET OUT OF THE CAR EVER YOU STUPID ASSHOLE) and confront this idiot standing in the way of my impending lunch. Now, I’m not normally a very aggressive person, but when I get hungry, things change. Snickers had it right. So I walk up to the thing in my way, and with all the confidence of a 22-year-old who’s never punched anything before, but has played about 300 hours of Tekken, I grab the figure’s shoulder and say, “Hey buddy, why don’t you AGHH OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!?”

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Wow, that was an unexpected way for that sentence to end. He went from bluster and belligerence to abject pants-pissing terror in the space of 3 words.” To which I would reply with: 1. You clearly don’t know me very well, that happens about once a week. And 2. Let’s see you almost eskimo kiss a zombie and not freak out. Quit judging me. Asshole.

So yeah, the thing turns around and it’s a zombie. Right in front of me. About 3 inches from my dumb face. And this was honestly one of the most surreal moments of my life. It was like I was so scared I went all the way back around the spectrum to calm again. Like my body didn’t know what to do with this insane spike of emotion, so it just said “Fuck it. No emotions for you.”

The zombie stood just in front of me. They were about 6 foot 2, just within the “kind of intimidating but not overly so” range of heights. They were wearing a large hoodie, which explains why I didn’t realize it was a zombie until I literally touched it. And its face was…weird. Like, really weird. Its mouth was open to a point that was unsettling without being obvious why. See, if it had been just slightly ajar it would’ve looked like someone breathing through their mouth, and if it had been wide open it would’ve looked like someone who was either really surprised or trying to catch some food in their mouth. Instead it was at an awkward in-between stage. Like the middle school of mouth openings. Like it couldn’t really decide what it wanted to be, so it decided to be half of all the things it thought was cool and that ended up being literally the worst choice it could’ve possibly made and all the other kids made fun of it and it had to sit at the lunch table all alone eating peanut butter and honey sandwiches on white bread and trying to pretend like it wanted to get picked last for kickball… sorry, what was I talking about? Right, the zombie. So its mouth was weird, we’ve established that. And projected a little bit. Moving on.

Stepping back and taking in the whole face, everything just moved further down the uncanny valley. Their face held a blank expression, as expected for a zombie, but it’s hard to describe what kind. You see, there are several types of blank expressions. There’s the blank expression you have when you watch someone steal your parking space right in front of you. The kind of blank expression where you just sit there and blink a couple times, staring off in a random direction like you’re Jim in The Office and there’s a camera watching you. This is the kind where you have to take a second to process. To sit there and think, “Wow, did that really just happen? Does God really hate me that much? Is this payback for candy bar I stole when I was 9? Who knew God was such a petty bitch.” This is what I call the Angry Blank.

There’s also the Confused Blank. This is the kind of blank expression where it’s your first day of college and you walk into your first class, all excited for this new journey you’re about to take and all the friends you’re gonna make, and you spend the first 15 minutes of class accidentally daydreaming about how great the next four years are gonna be and then you look up at the board and see a bunch of bullshit equations on the board and wonder what the fuck is going on, why are there equations in a first-year religion class, and then look around and see no one else questioning it, and then realize that you’re in the wrong room and this is a vector calculus course and your dumb ass could barely pass algebra 0.5 so you stand up and have to awkwardly step over about 13 seniors who are all trying to take notes and then the professor notices and stops talking for a second and you know he’s staring at you but you can’t turn around because it’s like you’re Frodo and the professor is the eye of Sauron and if you look at him he’ll steal your soul or some shit and you run out of the room and straight back to your dorm where you get on the computer and drop your religion class so you never have to go in that building again. That kind of blank expression.

And there are a few other types, but they aren’t relevant here so I’m going to ignore them like I’m a GOP senator and they’re climate change evidence. The zombie had a strange mixture of these two blank expressions on their face, like they were angry and trying to process it, but then while they were processing the anger they forgot why they were angry. So now they were just walking around, angry, hoping to run into something that would give them a brain-blast or something and remind them of why they were angry.

I took in all of this in about a second and a half, so terrified that I felt calm again, as I mentioned before. The zombie just stood there and looked at me, its dead eyes (both in the literal sense and the figurative sense) locked somewhere above my left shoulder, which was honestly the scariest part of the whole encounter. Either it was looking at something behind me, in which case I badly wanted to see what it was but didn’t want to turn away from the zombie in front of me because fear. Or it simply couldn’t focus its eyes on me and that was the best it could get, which is pretty creepy. We both stood there for a while, me not moving because I was afraid that its vision was based on movement like it was a goddamned T-rex and the zombie not moving because who the fuck knows? Eventually, the poor teenager working the window asked me if I was gonna order anything, drawing the zombie’s attention back to the window, and that was enough to break my reverie. I broke and sprinted the five feet to my car, got in so fast I slammed my head against the roof, possibly giving myself a concussion, and hauled ass out of that drive through, narrowly missing the zombie on my way out.

I drove straight to the Wendy’s on the other side of town and ordered myself a Baconator and two frosties because I’d fucking earned them. I just stared death in the face and ran away like a little bitch. I needed the calories if I was gonna keep running like that. Endurance had never been my strong suit.

#i like this class lol #this was fun as hell to write #writing

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steveramsdale · 5 years

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The ‘At Least Two Cups of Coffee Blog’ Blog

If you are reading this blog, then, by some miracle of chance, I survived to write and post it. This is entirely implausible but, apparently, true.

A crazy week in a crazy country full of life, history, noise, mess, poverty, beauty and spices.

Get comfortable, make sure you’ve been for that comfort break and steel yourself. This could be a long one. I set out to do something so I’d have blog material and there may be too much. I came to India! It is early on Monday morning now and I realised that if I left this until Saturday morning, there would be no time even if nothing else happens.

We have been excited for a while about coming. We planned with, and are here with our friend and colleague Wendy and her two wonderful children. We flew to Amritsar, a direct, two-hour flight, early on Saturday morning. Another friend, Dave, was also on the flight. The flight was, fortunately, uneventful.

As we approached and descended towards Amritsar airport, I noticed that the cars were driving on the correct (left) side of the road. “That’s good,” I thought. I soon had to reassess that observation. As we landed, one man started a very half-hearted clap but was not joined and stopped after, perhaps, five claps. It was a better landing than that.

The customs/immigration process was really easy. We had organised e-visas so there was little delay. Part of the process was having fingerprint scans. I could not get the fingers of my right hand into a position that the machine could read. The man at the desk decided not to worry about this, saying that we could “do it next time”. This is incorrect in many ways (well, at least two).

But, after a short wait for the suitcases, we were in India. It was very pleasantly warm. Although the car park had many white cars, not a-one was a Chevrolet.

The taxi driver arranged by the people at the hotel, was waiting for us with a sign saying “Tashkent”. As the plane, and everyone on it, had come from Tashkent, this could have been a little imprecise. We went to check if he was our driver and he had a screenshot of the text exchange between Wendy and the hotel. He, very sensibly, had the steering wheel, as God or Darwin (the jury’s out) intended, on the right-hand side of the car. Our suitcase was put on to a roof rack but was not secured in any way. I was sure I would see it fly off the roof at some point. I did not. It did not. The airport is not too far from the city and I soon had to change my “oh, they drive on the left” idea to “oh, they are supposed to drive on the left but many don’t.” This view also evolved over the next few days.

I have, in previous blogs, mentioned the lack of varied bird life in Tashkent, the one sighting of a hawk in the city and the eagles seen in the mountains and fro trains though the desert. Here, I had seen at least ten kites (I think) before we were 15 minutes in to the journey. On Sunday, we saw at least fifty circling and flying down to a river. There are also parrot-like birds and nightjars (I think). Anyway, there is interesting wildlife on hand, including Simon, Alvin and Theodor watching us from a tree.

So far (it’s Monday morning remember), we have used a lot of tuk-tuks. This is a really crazy way to travel. It is also a very cheap way to travel. I had, of course, heard about the roads in India but you do have to see it. I thought Tashkent roads we fairly anarchic but I will have to reassess that idea. Even on straight bits of road, there are bikes and motorbikes coming the wrong way. There are pedestrians doing whatever they need to do and vehicles of all sorts weaving in and out. And then there are junctions. This is governed purely by random chance. Drivers go in whichever direction they need to whenever they decide the odds slightly favour success. We have not yet seen even the smallest of accidents – just near-misses and cars with bumps and dents. There are untold numbers of scooters, mopeds and motorbikes. Very few have only a rider. The most popular so far was carrying five people. We were behind one where a girl of around five or six years of age was sitting with her hands in her pockets, not holding on and casually sorting out her hair, as necessary. She turned to smile at us. I have calculated that the ratio of helmets to people who travel on motorbikes is about 1:10,000. We passed one biker who took off his helmet as he was riding along and placed it in front of him on the tank.

On Saturday, after settling in, we went to the Golden Temple. This is a remarkable and wonderful place. It is clearly sacred to the Sikhs of India and the world. Everyone has to remove their shoes before entering and most kneel and put their foreheads to the marble floor to honour the temple and the sacred book it houses. The temple itself is in the middle of a man-made lake and is reached via a walkway. Many people were either getting into the water or, at least, reaching down and putting water on to their heads or even drinking some. The precinct around the pool is very large. People take selfies in front of the temple and the many signs saying that photography is forbidden in this sacred place. Of course I have a photograph of one such sign. Here, for the first of many occasions, people started to ask to take pictures with us. We stood still, at one point, to observe the whole scene and were immediately swamped by such requests. How do you describe those pictures when you post post them? Time forbids more detail about this experience.

We were all hungry by the time we left the temple and went to the first café/restaurant we found. We, of course, had fabulous curry costing almost nothing. I will not repeat this idea throughout the blog, so you should assume that this does happen repeatedly. Indian food I have had in the UK is (was) probably my favourite as a category, but it is at another level here.

On Sunday, we visited a fort which is now a developing visitor attraction. It was used by an 18th/19th Century warrior/leader of the Punjab and Sikh Kingdom, Maharaja Ranjit Singh. Later, the colonial British used it as barracks and, more recently, the Indian army has used it. Now it is a theme park. The children enjoyed the 7D(!) cinema presentation, camel and segway rides.

In the afternoon, we set off for the nearby border with Pakistan. This involved a taxi ride of about an hour on a variety of road surfaces. We were not sure what to expect but had been told it was worth a visit. Each day, at about 4:30pm, there is a ceremony of lowering the flag(s) and changing the guard. Car and coach parking is extensive and a few thousand people were there/arriving/arrived. Plenty of retail and food opportunities exist also. We were directed to the special line for foreign visitors and were allowed through without our passport, showing our TSB visa cards and clearly foreign faces as proof/ID. After a security check we walked to a part-stadium, part-amphitheatre. A short piece of road leads down to a large gate which marks the border. I don’t really know what I had expected but this was not it. The other surprise, which should not have been a surprise, was that exactly the same scenario was being enacted on the other side – the Pakistan side. The Border Security Force put on a really good show. I’m sure you know that there are real tensions between these two countries. This ritual, however, shows clear cooperation and seems more theatrical than military. There was an M.C. whipping up the crowd. There were men walking around selling chocolate, drinks, crisps and Cornettos. There was (very) loud music. A large group of women and girls were invited to either run towards to border waving flags or to dance enthusiastically. When the actual event started, it was bizarre and fascinating. Different groups, pairs or individual soldiers marched down the road to the gates, which were now open. Apart from two scary looking soldiers in typical army uniform and carrying guns, who marched in a ‘normal’ style, all of the other marched with very exaggerated steps, some almost kicking themselves in the head. At the border, they ‘confronted’ their Pakistani counterparts, raising arms and sticking out their chests. The scary guys stood in front of two similarly scary opposite numbers. A couple of the ‘marchers’ shook hands across the line. Most of the uniforms are very ceremonial with hats that have large plumes.

This whole ‘show’ has clearly been planned and coordinated between the two side. If there are two ‘this’ side, there are two ‘that’ side. The respective flags were lowered together. Eventually, the gates were closed

Shortly before the actual ‘ceremony’, three people arrived with airport-style luggage trollies and actually crossed the border.

This was a bizarre and unmissable event. On the way back to the car, a man stopped me and asked to take a picture of his child with me – he had a baby of about one-year-old. He handed the child to me, whereupon the child began to cry. The father now has a picture of a foreigner holding his distraught child and a talking point for years to come.

On Monday, the dreaded travellers’ tummy hit me. We explored a little in the morning but I had to take to my bed and stay near the toilet. We returned to the Golden Temple in the evening as we had been told it was even more spectacular when lit up at night. It was quite cold and raining by now and I could not face walking around without shoes on, so I stayed in the Shoes House and watch the world go by, feeling sorry for myself and being smiled at by beautiful people. I went back to the hotel by myself and could see the temple from outside the complex. It was beautiful. I haggled my tuk-tuk fare to 150 rupees but when I got back, I only had 136 to my name. This was accepted without apparent annoyance. We’d had an argument with one driver (who was certainly under the influence) who demanded 300 rupees. He would not take what we offered and I eventually left in on the ground and walked away.

Overnight, Mairi joined the sick club. By the morning, I was not feeling as bad, but we had an eight-hour train journey to Delhi to survive. We had booked a ‘first class’ sleeper compartment and so we were able to sleep and rest. The toilets were not so bad. For part of the journey, a young man with a sword was standing outside one of them.

The train was not unlike the Soviet over-night train in Uzbekistan – except there was no samovar. We passed the time and saw some sights, especially as we drew close to Delhi. There are untold numbers of people living out their lives in make-shift huts by the side of the railway lines.

Delhi is much bigger, noisier and more chaotic than Amritsar. I walked in the area outside the hotel early on Wednesday morning and went in to an early-opening café. I had reasonable coffee and a cinnamon roll. I had a 100 rupee note and 2000 note. The bill, coincidently, was 136 rupees. The young man a duty was able, a little unwillingly, to change the large note. With Mairi sleeping off the bug, the rest of our party visited the largest mosque in India. We also visited Connaught Place. This is the up-market part of the city and very clearly part of the British legacy. It also has many familiar brands – the obvious ones such as Starbucks and Pizza Hut. Mairi was feeling a little better in the evening, so we went to Pizza Hut for something familiar and comforting.

Thursday was the big day – The Taj Mahal. We had pre-booked a tour with a driver, guide and all tickets and so on arranged. It was about a three-hour drive mostly on a quiet, three-lane motorway. I slept quite a bit, but when awake thought that it could almost be the M1 through Derbyshire and Yorkshire – except for the part where some kind of monkey ran across the road.

As this is going on and on….I’ll be brief. The Taj Mahal is as beautiful as you might expect, as people say. It was amazing to be there and see a structure most people have seen so many times in pictures. “I typed this at the Taj Mahal” – that’s pasted from my phone notes, as a little gift to you. Part of our tour took us to a ‘no obligation to buy’ marble goods workshop and shop. We saw how the inlays are made and were shown various goods. The pressure part of the ‘no obligation’ was a little uncomfortable. We also saw the Red Fort of Agra, another spectacular construction, this one also used by occupying British forces. This was a long day, but worth it. The final part of the drive back was much longer through the Delhi rush-hour.

We spent Friday on another tour. We paid a really low price to have a driver take us to different sights and to a lovely restaurant. We declined the shopping experience he wanted us to have! There are huge, ancient buildings in Delhi, built by powerful men to show their power and wealth to succeeding generations – and you wonder how things would be different if that wealth had been shared then instead of hoarded and spent on futile vanity projects. Humayun has an amazing tomb, though. The poverty is also still obvious.

I have just scrolled up and seen how long this is, so I’m going to stop soon. This has been a great trip. We have had great company and seen amazing things. Not everything is included – sickness tales, for example. It is early on Saturday morning and we leave today.

Next week? Back to normal? We’ll see.

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arkus-rhapsode · 7 years

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Fairy Tail Chapter 519 review

Guys if you’ve read my reviews you know I do try to find something positive in every chapter. I don’t want to ever let the stimulus of “this arc sucks” to affect my first read of a chapter. I want to love every chapter of FT. SO please understand when I say, this was bad. So here we go:

Oh look more glamour shots. Don’t think LL Bean will let you publish that one, given the angle.

so we have Erza heading right for the meteor and trust me when I say this is the least BS part of this chapter. Also this light Erza has, not explained.

So Erza pulls a saitama and destroys the meteor.

You don’t know the half of it Irene. It gets worse from here and let me remind you that Erza has all the bones in her body broken except for her arm.

Y’know the idea of Wendy enchanting dragon slaying magic to the sword isn’t a bad one. In fact had this fight been re written, the idea of Wendy giving Erza the Sky dragon slaying magic to use in her sword would’ve actually been pretty cool. But as of now and all evens that’ll transpire, this will only lead to more BS.

Yep. We just saw Erza do critical damage to a dragon slayer. Okay. First, Erza has all her bones broken, she most likely can’t move her body all that well, so why don’t you move out of the way Irene? Or turn into human form? Second, how sad is it that Natsu, the MC and powered up by Atlas’s hell flames couldn’t even do that much damage to Motherglare but a broken woman only using dragon slaying magic compressed into a katanna can make such a gapping wound.

And Dead. Or at least Erza should be, flopping on her side with that many broken bones. Also Irene, why did you compress yourself back into human form?

Irene the only one pulling crap is you, for not staying in dragon form and just stepping on everyone like you should. Also this leads into the dumbest part of the chapter, no seriously.

What. the. fuck.

Okay Hiro if you want to justify what Irene is about to do next then you should’ve extended the flash backs, don’t just add in other part of the flash back to create conflict. Second, Irene what the hell are you? Look I’ve said before Irene’s torture only justified her want to be human and that want is what drive her to act crazy when given the chance to take a new body. But this childish personality, this one where you literally say don’t laugh at me with a baby crying, where did it come from? You’ve given no reason to justify this childish behavior. And it still gets worse.

The Fuck. Erza you not only have most of your bones broken, you some how after destroying a meteor have enough strength to launch yourself, while being stabbed. I guess you could try to argue that due to her broken left side she can’t feel the stabbing but look at this.

(Okay how the hell can you launch yourself like that as well as do that much damage) Hey Irene be smart and stab Erza.

Oh my god. Why? No, why?

Not even you know why this crap is happening? Actually I do know, Hiro is too lazy to come up with a way to defeat Irene that would make sense and we obviously can’t have Erza lose and let Alvarez have some victory.

Oh what fresh hell. Irene you said you couldn’t enchant yourself into Erza because you saaid you didn’t share the same magic so enchanting personality was not possible. I had said this before myself that a logical reason she couldn’t enchant herself is because she’d be stuck in the body of a child. Also you were already crazy, Irene. That was the whole point tis flash back with you, to express why you were crazy, also how do you stop being insane just enough to know that you’ll go nuts again. We saw chronologically through this flashback that you were already mad before you gave Erza up. It makes no sense.

Oh fuck off. Lets look at that “Love deceives the heart” crap. None of this was done out of love this was all portrayed as her being selfish. Also what Love has Erza shown that’ll “remedy” the heart? Her laugh? Throughout this fight you both have expressed you don’t love each other. Irene you kept referring to Erza as trash. You tried to wipe her out with a meteor that couldn’t be stopped and only did stop “cause she’s erza” so if Erza didn’t stop it what then? So much love I’m feeling. The only way this could make some fraction of sense is if Irene had a Brain and Zero thing going that her personalities were split and at war.

Post Chapter Follow up(and follow up of this whole excursion): Wow this was bad. I’m going to say I hated 500 “Fire and Ice” because it was a microcosm of every flaw in FT, but this was microcosm of what every FT hater accuses it of being. This Erza and Irene conflict had nothing but overly done powers, pointless drama, forced drama, ideas introduced only to be solved in one chapter, egregious fanservice, and friendship speeches abound. This is mockery of what FT is, unintentional self parody. Everything good that could’ve come from this is wasted.

Lets look at the negatives. As I said Irene’s motivations keep changing on a dime, this random tweeking to her backstory just raises more questions. Lots of people were pissed that Irene turned out that Irene was a dragon slayer and related to it’s mythos but honestly I liked the idea because dragon slayers often are the most thought out thing by Hiro. But Irene is so damn inconsistent in her personality. First she was introduced as this queenly woman who showed off that she really acts like a child in manner, no now she’s plain psychotic because of her drive to want to be human again, no she was always a kind mother who went crazy for some reason (Yeah the reason she said she’d go crazy isn’t brought up.) The potential for the best spriggan was there, she had a backstory, had power to match up, and developed to the point she’d keep focus. But then she is portrayed as so incompetent that she gives up her whole body only to have lost more power, and get mad and almost kill everyone even though she says she doing this for happiness and now she kills her self for love.

Now on to Erza. My god, she’s Erza is just right because this woman is not the badass that tons of fans fell in love with this. This is a parody that isn’t funny. Look I like Natsu a lot but he does some over powered, plain lazy, wins but I can tolerate it because he is the MC. But Erza even though she’s been here since the beginning should not be held to that because she has prove in the past not to be like this. But no she’s even more over the top then Natsu. I a sense people are going to say Erza struggled against Ajeel and had help against him, well Wendy was right here, Erza could have totally taken Irene with the help of Wendy but not I’ll be completely broken and Wendy you’ll just stand over there.

Lets also get into this love thing. This has been done by Hiro and done better before by him. Perfect example Gray vs Silver plot line, Silver did act like a dick to Gray but he showed that the reason he wanted to die wasn’t cause I’m a parent and I need to die, it was I’ve done horrible things that I can’t justify anymore and you should feel no shame in killing me for it. Because Silver was done in a way that I sympathize with him, want to see him beat for being a villain, has a legitimate reason to want Gray to kill him, Gray beat him on his own skill, and expressed love between parent and child. But you know that a parent should be prioritized to love their child no matter what, but in real life that is not always the case, there is no shame in creating an asshole who is a parent. Hiro has done it right before with Jude so I don’t see how you can’t do that with Irene. nope gotta redeem her. Hell this isn’t even like with King in Rave Master where his hatred for Gale was actually all his misplaced anger that he needed to be justified but ultimately saw he was wrong in doing that and it wasn’t all Gale’s fault, this was I’m crazy cause I have a tragic backstory oh but I love you when I’m to strong to beat.

And this is the worse part of this chapter and this Erza vs Irene fight in general. It is the clearest evidence that Hiro just doesn’t care. This is so lazily done and so impossible to make satisfying that he just needed to release the chapter because he has to end this story. And this is the greatest show of it, not knowing what direction to go, overblown, cheap ways to make or characters seem more powerful. All just a mess.

The only positive was Erza herself didn’t kill Irene. And even then that’s not saying much.

Final Verdict: 0/10

Just all the flaws of writing on display

Erza is just beyond the point of justifying

Tons of great ideas to work with and barely are taken advantage of

This will go down as one of the worst chapters of FT with 322, 404, and 500

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likeabulletyoucanhurtme · 6 years

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I watched another film and wrote about it. Not a horror this time, more of a fantasy film but some definite weird/horror visuals in parts Troll

I decide I want to watch films from listicles and stupid articles posted from facebook. I decide to do reviews/re-action blogs/liveblog posts, not because of the film but just if I have time/effort to put in. I was recommended to watch TROLL 2 as a horror and thought TROLL 1 would need to be watched first. Turns out they're completely unrelated but whatever, TROLL is an 80s fantasy film, but dark in its own way as we will see... Slow zoom into a book, sitting alone and light up from light through a stained-glass window. Could this film be anymore 80′s? The book opens and no-one's touched it! What a surprise... The moving company is called Starving Students, what a nice cheery company. I don't know if that's an actual company name or the directors real life situation. Dad drives off and leaves the family to load in the boxes and do the heavy lifting. Typical male avoiding hardwork, although I do like that the mum is doing all the heavy lifting Ignored daughter with the sickeningly sweet blonde hair and bunches has to chase her ball... she gonna dieeee! Yeah, disembodied hairy arm has now grabbed her-so long dear! The troll is small and hairy, doesn't look like he'd be much of a threat to people trying to cross a bridge Lovely weird green light - state of the art special effects here. Oh look the trolls now turned into the girl, I wonder if he knows enough about human anatomy to have thought this plan through? Or being a troll instead of human, will he not need to use the toilet? The brother is now looking for Wendy (the girl) and asks if she's been playing with dead cats? Like, why is that a valid question? Seems like the real Wendy was into some pretty freaky stuff even before this film Troll knows enough about English to carry on full conversations with the parents but can't eat properly Kids run out and suddenly they're running downstairs instead, they go out the front door and then coming back downstairs again - what Euclid geometry is in this building anyway Guys upstairs says he's into swinging...I don't know why you would mention that when meeting new neighbours Also they're having a full conversation while the fire alarm is going off, like ok there might be a fire but moaning about kids is definitely what you should be doing right now Dad is called Harry Potter...shame they didn't trademark that... Everyone seems to think this is a false alarm but how do they know? So lucky they're not getting burned right now. Dad is being slagged for being able to read, what a strange attitude for people who are literally in a book. Troll is trashing the place, tries to bite dad and still hasn't been controlled. Supernanny would have a lot to say about these parenting techniques Oh she was playing Godzilla, how does the troll know who godzilla is? Does he have access to Wendys memories because he now looks like her, or was horrible troll this up-to-date with pop culture? Breakfast scene in the morning was obviously filmed in the evening judging by the light coming in through the window Troll knows enough to dress himself as a little girl at least. Troll throws the brother at the wall and he can't admit it to his parents because the unrealistic and sexist pressures put on him by society wont allow him to admit he was beaten up by (what he thinks was) a girl Swinger from upstairs is a sexist alcoholic, oh dear how predictable. Troll has stabbed swingerman with his ring and now he's bleeding, swelling up and turinging green. I really hope people didn't think this was a kids movie cause that would cause serious nightmares Ah, he's turned into a plant. Troll is just trying to counteract global warming by turning pollutive humans into foliage. Now theres baby trolls and creatures coming out of this plantlike mess...are they his children? or did he turn the man into them?? this is so confusing Old lady has a weird singing mushroom type thing in her apartment on the top floor-she's obviously friends with the troll and the reason why the troll chose to live in their building specifically Boy casually accuses old woman he's just met of stealing. She seems to accept this with no indignation at all. Jr is oversharing with random old woman - no get out run away she's mixed up in it all! Having turned someone into a plant troll is now back to looking like Wendy and playing ball in the middle of the road Troll knows about godzilla but seems really confused at a taxi. Saved by a dwarf who I'm pretty sure was only written in to show how weird this film is. I hope he was paid well for this farce. Ex-marine across the hall is looking at maps on a pool table while holding a baseball bat, there's guns and trophy heads on the wall. It's like someone searched for "manly man" and filled the apartment with everything that came up on google "I've stared death in the face" "what does it look like?" What a very important question. Seems like in the 80s people cared less about where their five year old little girls were, stranger danger and parental responsibility obviously weren't a thing back then. Marine man is now also a plant that spawns weird creatures. "Harry fell down, I just don't understand any of this." Listen hen as far as you know your son just fell down-simple as. It's the audience that don't really understand this weird fucking film! Parents keep talking about the girls "little friend" and its the dwarf from earlier-100% written in so the mum could offer a 30yr old dwarf a glass of chocolate milk. Dwarf is at dinner apparently so he can recite a poem from memory, because why else would your daughter invite a 30ish english professor to dinner? Weird plantspawn creatures in the other apartments are singing to the tune of the poem...because reasons. Old womans mushroom tree thing with eyes is joining in - I knew she was part of it! Their song lyrics seem in consist of random syllables but I'm sure I heard "ebola" in their somewhere... Old woman looks creeped out, like you had the weird mushroom thing in your living room what did you think would happen? Jr is watching tv in his bed where apparently everyones pets are being turned into 'Pod Person From The Planet Mars'. Is this trying to tell us the trolls are aliens...? Another breakfast scene filmed in evening lightening... I wonder how the mushroom feels having a lampshade dumped on it everytime someone visits this old woman "Why are you here?... You're different?... It's not normal?" Jr is a cheeky shit to this old woman and is forgetting whose house he is in, and who is the only friend he has so far. Old woman used to be a princess but is now a witch, ok why not I'm sure there's a reason for this somewhere Troll-wendy knocking on a door and womans like "I have to get changed, you can stay here if you want" like NO BITCH get that creepy girl out of your house! Another apartments occupant turned into plants-although giving birth to a humanlooking female instead of more trolls now. Mushroom has followed Jr and old woman to the kitchen, how? Did it hop in its plant pot? Can it walk? Bf comes to meet the last person turned to a plant - DONT TRUST HER SHE WAS BORN TWO MINUTES AGO FROM A PLANT! Chase through the jungle in the apartment and now they're outside and there's four women for some reason... Troll is there back to looking like a troll, sorry dude he has stole your girl! Wherever this girl goes people keep offering her juice to drink. The 80s was obviously more trusting of adults, and adults were more friendly to weird kids showing up on their doorstep. Trollwendy looks upset that the dwarf is going to die, like he hasnt been killing people randomly all week. Michael (dwarfs) story is giving a real normal insight into the struggle of someone born with dwarfism, completely unexpected from this film. Nope, trollwendy is over it and looks like Michaels getting turned into a plant now. Didn't think that seriousness would last long Old woman knocking on doors with a golden spear like she's gonna fight the whole close. I wonder what she'd say if one of her neighbours actually did answer? "its the weekend" "do you know what day they dropped the bomb on hiroshima?" "a weekend, maybe?" I wonder who the hell wrote that and what were they smoking at the time? Harry Sr says the woman upstairs is the wicked witch of the west, very nice to slag off your sons only friend right in front of him. Wasnt that when you let Jr go to hers for breakfast! Jr is repeating lines from his Pod People tv show and Sr asks if his wife did drugs? Like his weird behaviour couldnt come from your side of the family? Or from an uncaring and inconsiderate father and the whole family moving house? Golden spear actually shoots lightening at troll creatures, who knew? Plants are taking over the hallway but when Jr gets to old womans house he neglects to mention the impending doom and just has some hot chocolate. "Before there were countries there was just one place with humans and faries" So, pangea? I didn't know they had faries. Geography would've been a lot more interesting if they'd told us that. Old woman was in love with a prince, prince fought with the fairies against humans, humans won, prince got turned into the troll. Apparently by taking over the whole building its actually a fairy universe and will burst forth and troll will have taken over the world... I think that's what she's trying to say? Why conquer countries all you need is a shitty apartment block! Also real wendy is still alive because the troll wants her to be a fairy princess, six year old and evil thousands of year old troll, real creepy arranged marriage Troll only has three days to take over the building-he's doing quite good he only has two appartments left. Troll has "always been melodramatic" apparently. Nah I think it's this acting and weird plot that's all melodramatic. Old woman unpins her hair and suddenly she's 50 years younger, it's true-a new hairdo can make you look different. Jr says he's waiting for a stray dragon, Sr doesn't ask where he got the large golden spear from. Old woman is now a talking tree stump after facing the troll, and her appartment now leads outside too "What is going on out there?" "I dont know but I'm listening to the tree" wise words Sr, wise words Troll stabbed his own monster to save the six year old, because apparently he cant find another blonde girl to be his princess. Well that was lucky but very stupid of him Family are now moving again but this time they just have a suitcase each, no moving vans this time somehow? Also that was the quickest packing I've seen I think that's stupid anyway, what's the chances a troll is gonna try and take over that exact same building in the future? That buildings probably the safest one cause if he tries again it'll be somewhere different. Police man tells them where the station is to make a statement - but they're not being arrested and I'm not sure what crime they think has been comitted? Ok so I was wrong, the laundry room is still a jungle and troll is killing policeman. Maybe a good idea to move.

#me #personal #film #Troll #liveblog #review #very 80s

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1hoodmedia · 7 years

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Ghetto Fast Food Joint Practices That Need To Stop Now!

Over the course of my 33 years of life on this earth, I've eaten a lot of fast food (nothing I'm very proud of) in a lot of different areas. And I can honestly say that there are certain practices and shortcomings that are...how you say, habitual, when it comes to fast food restaurants in the black community. I have made a list of all the things that I want to see stop being done in said establishments and while I know its wishful thinking on my part, maybe we can at least demand better or just stop supporting joints that do the following:

The unresponsive drive-thru intercom. You drive up, there's silence. You call out to see if anyone's on the other side, there's silence. You honk your horn, silence. Finally after a while, an extremely distorted and barely audible voice responds and tells you "Hold on a minute!" You patiently wait, then after 5-7 minutes of staring at the intercom, they're finally ready to take your order. You spit out the first couple of items you want to order and they yell out "Hold on." again as if you're reciting your order at some breakneck speed that they simply cannot comprehend.

Getting the order wrong all the time. I swear one time I ordered a plain burger from the Wendy's around my house and they gave me buns with no hamburger patty on it!! Just the bread with some mayonnaise, pickles, ketchup, and onions spread on it. Why is it so hard for hood joint to get the orders right?! If I'm telling you I don't want certain toppings on my sandwich, I thought I was in essence asking ya'll to do less work?! Which brings me to my next point...

Not giving you any compensation for screwing up your order. At the same Wendy's around my house my wife and I had to take back a messed up order and the manager looked at us with a straight face and said "I'll comp you for the burger." which I thought meant he would give us the sandwich we ordered and paid for, how we ordered it, and our money back for our troubles, but no. He meant he'll just give us what we paid for without charging us any extra!! I'm like "Nigga, how you gonna comp us for something we already paid for by just giving us what we paid for?!!" The idea of giving the customer a free drink, french fries, or dessert for the inconvenience of screwing up their order or making them wait for 30-45 minutes for no clear cut reason, is obviously a concept hood fast food joints have never heard of.

Not accepting debit/credit cards. This is disturbingly common. I've been robbed before and make it a habit to not carry a whole lot of cash on my person. I would say that 50% to 65% of hood food joints do not accept plastic because there's a fee connected to using the card machine. Some forward thinking hood spots simply charge you an extra 25 cents to pay with a card, while others simply skip all that jazz and install some off brand ATM in the corner of the joint that will charge you $3.50 to withdraw $20.

The obligatory 15 minute wait for an item that they should have on tap. Why in the wide, wide world of sports do I have to wait 15 minutes or longer for an item whose name is in the name of the establishment?! Why is it a 15 minute wait for chicken at KFC or Popeye's Chicken?! Its not like I ordered shrimp or catfish or some other specialty item that doesn't get requested often. Or say it's a burger joint and there's a wait for fries...these are items you should theoretically have on tap and a constant supply of!! Well, at least they're letting you know what you're in for.

Telling you to "drive up to that spot" after you've paid for your meal in the drive thru. When did this BS start?! You pay for your food and they want you to drive another car length or two up to some random spot. Why can't I wait right here? Where I just paid you? Isn't is easier for you to just give me my food at the window than to send some 90 pound teenager outside into the 15 degree weather to hand me my food? And what if the order's wrong? Now I gotta get out of the safety of my car and knock on the window or the go in the actual place (which obviously I was trying to avoid by going through the drive- thru!) to demand the correct order. If asking the customer to drive past a certain point has something to do with clocking shorter wait times for their lines (this is what I've been told), how bout you just have the food ready and cooked? Quit trying to employ trickery and just do what they do in the other neighborhoods...work to have the food ready quickly.

I'm calling on all my fellow black people out there to please stop patronizing joints with these habits or at least call the corporate office to file a complaint. Cause if we never demand change, we can never expect it.

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literarypsychobabble · 7 years

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How It All Began

"This is Alice Smith?" I blearily wondered if I should have never answered the call. Strange things had started happening and I was busy enough as it was and very starved of sleep so everything felt like another jarring blow to my head. Somewhere nearby the wolves had started howling. A long, loud, melodic and mournful howl that kept making something beautifully painful grow inside me. There was something soothing about their disdainful howls for a moon that probably had no idea. I never blamed them though because the moon had become a constant in my life as well, punctuated by sleepless nights and bleary, sickly mornings. "Yes...I am Alice Smith." I glanced across from me at my own shaggy haired reflection that looked a lot more rock n roll than I felt myself. My name hardly made things better. "How may I help you?" Probably another prank call. If I could have slit throats with words she would have been bleeding through the phone, whoever she was... "I'm nurse Wendy. You brought an injured-" "-Wolf-" my eyes widened as I remembered hearing the clattering sounds of a heavy body being dragged along outside along the wooden walkway separating my room from the forest, his soft tawny fur and how much blood there had been. I had struggled to heave his body into my car with no idea why and how anyone would help me help an injured wolf but Wendy had agreed to try to help me by pretending the wolf was my pet dog. "Yes." A pause that made something cold tighten around my throat. "We need you to come in and collect Mr Liam Walters from our office." I jerked upright, heaving myself away from the wall, eyes wide. "What do you mean?! Liam is dead-" I almost started laughing "-look Wendy you SICK SICK FUCK I am in NO MOOD to deal with this shitty joke ok?! My FRIEND LIAM WALTERS RECENTLY DIED OF CANCER AND I AM IN NO MOOD TO HEAR-" "Jesus Christ woman calm down, I'm sure you would have deafened her by now!!" Liam's calm voice almost tore a scream out of my mouth. "FUCKING FUCK WHAT IS WHAT AM I WHO HOW WHAT-" "Alice...calm down." "I CAN'T CALM DOWN MY DEAD FRIEND IS TALKING TO ME ON THE PHONE!" "Can we not talk about me like I'm not here?" "Sorry-" "Look...Alice....I don't know what's happening or....WHAT happened but I'm here. I'm STARVING and I REALLY need to talk to you because something is happening and it's important for you to know..." I had melted against the wall again. "I'm coming ok? I'll meet you there." I croaked before I shakily hung up, shoved the phone into my pocket and grabbed my coat. Tripping out of my room, I stepped straight into my boots, ignoring the sleepy amber eyes of the confused black cat who stared at me owlishly from where he was curled up on the mantle piece like a dark sphinx. I ran back to quickly kiss his sweet snout, letting him lick me once with his warm rough tongue. "Jaggers!" I peered plaintively into his amber moon eyes, "I think I'm going crazy and I'm about to go out and pick up a dead person who is alive and I need you to make sure everything is ok here and if I don't return soon you have my permission to meow and pee on everything around you!" He meowed as if in agreement as I turned to trip out of the room, into the shadows and out of the front door. * A singular light flickered and buzzed blearily like a confused stirring sleeper as it dreamed, possibly of day time when it could rest and be turned off. Three sleepy cats stared blankly at me from their makeshift beds on the floor under signs declaring them rescues. A dog barked somewhere as if it had sensed me and was calling out to welcome me. I looked around me at the medicated cat and dog food, the various collars and random treats and glanced into the darkened grooming room that homed a funny little lopsided and empty cage that was rusting slightly and what looked like a small hoover but was actually a drier. It smelt like meat and medicine. "Hello!" I started slightly at the sound of Wendy's voice and was amused to see that she still looked wide awake behind her rounded spectacles and frizzy black hair. "Wendy," I offered. What was I meant to do? What if this was just a joke and she wanted to see what I did? What if I had taken something that had made me start hallucinating? Or-I glanced up at the flickering light and the white washed walls-what if I was dead? Of course that would make Wendy an Angel? Or a guardian...small and Asian was the only thing I thought of her and smiled despite how confused I felt. "Sorry if I kept you waiting." I wanted to slap myself-maybe I would wake up and realise this was a dream-and Wendy would be confusedly staring at the person who had fallen asleep instead of just doing what everyone else did; take in their pet cat or dog for a check up or something. "He's-" "You took your time." I almost choked on my own breath as I heard his voice and my mouth twitched into a ridiculously wobbly smile as I felt my eyes burn. Liam looked as ridiculously tall and lanky as he always did, just a bit more scrawnier. His dark blonde hair was also longer and more rumpled, accentuating his now enhanced dark brown eyes and gaunter face. His hair actually looked healthier than it had in a very long time and he no longer had the faint wrinkle like lines that had appeared around his mouth that had somehow been linked to the cancer growing silently within him for so long. "Liam!!" I became a ridiculous three year old and hurled myself at him, tripping at the last second so that he had no choice but to wrap his arms around me tightly and hold onto me to steady us both. I felt the tinkling laugh rumble through him, almost crying as I felt how real and warm he felt before he I finally let him go and almost collapsed. He looked worried when I stumbled slightly. "I'm fine!" I offered almost squeakily and could have hugged Wendy but stopped myself just on time. "How are you though?" I quickly looked him over, despite how scrawny he seemed he also seemed...to glow with an odd wildness that made no sense to me but was maybe because he smelt slightly like forest; sweet wet earth and pine. "Starving." He offered. "I could kill for normal food for once!" He glanced apologetically, almost at Wendy. "Your sandwiches were amazing but I can't seem to not feel hungry..." he trailed off almost dreamily. "Is that fish and chip shop open?" "Why?" "Because I could do with a baked potato with every bloody thing they offer I don't even care anymore." I smiled despite myself. "Sure...I guess I may as well take you home..." * Liam had not been joking when he said he was hungry and I was slightly amused by how fast but cleanly he managed to eat the potato with countless sauces and various other things in the cramped space of my car without covering us both and everything around us in potato or cheese and sauce or beans. We had decided to keep him in the car because despite him looking scrawnier than himself he was still an easy face to pick up and I wanted to hear what was happening from him before the whole world did. "Thank you." He finally offered as he stuffed everything into the bag and knotted it. "I swear I would get rid of this if I could-" "It's fine...we'll take it home just put it somewhere....and...." I kept driving in silence over eerily empty roads as the moon stared at us blankly from its black velvet home. "And?" He asked. My car smelt like baked beans now, which made me think of rainy mornings and toast for some reason. "What exactly happened? I mean you're...meant to be dead?" He was quiet, almost thoughtfully and then he shrugged. "I woke up in the forest and everything hurt." He glanced at me almost wearily. "And then I couldn't stop shifting back and forth. And I know that I was shot by someone who came in to try to stop the wolves." "So......you're telling me werewolves are real and you are one?" I sounded crazier than I felt. "I'm telling you I'm a science experiment gone terribly wrong." A pause as an agitated bat squealed as it darted around almost blindly outside like a broken puppet caught on strings before the night jerked it away restlessly to show us the moon again. "You know they inject bodies with this.....thing that's supposed to make them into proper fertiliser? Well it seems it doesn't do that really it just means that....we're kind of not dead and stuck shifting back and forth repeatedly." Liam had leaned back now, the moonlight making his face pale and his mouth look almost garish and blood stained. "There's an entire pack of us. Anyone and everyone from the last ten years. But there's a point when we stop shifting back." I had no use of words and was wondering if I would wake up and realise I had been drugged by some random bloke who had then forgotten me. "So there's a...a pack of....you..." "Yes." I glanced at him almost warily. "I know it all seems really sudden but it's the reality here and it's becoming an issue. I mean we can't control ourselves and we can't control the blood lust and we suddenly end up with guns pointed at us and it's aggravating because we never even did anything...just following instincts." He closed his eyes; dark, spiky eyelashes casting ridiculous spider leg shadows over his face. "What changes you?" "Right now it seems what changes us or me is a range of things...pain, feeling....anything we feel that's out of place for wolves I guess but what I'm trying to say is human emotion." I would have laughed in any other situation. "I don't exactly understand what you mean." "You know when you feel too much?" "Yes." "Imagine that happening all the time no matter what the feeling was or is you just feel too much all the time." "Ok." I watched the distant flashing lights of a plane gliding dreamily through the sky. "So you're saying a bunch of extremely emotional men is...are...I...I guess running through the forest howling at the moon, accidentally attacking people and getting shot?" "Something like that yes." He sounded tired and then shrugged. "Speaking of which a part of me thinks I should go." "What do you mean?" My heart spluttered. "I want to get back out there so when and if I change back there's no danger and we're all safe...it's the least I can actually do right now so I may as well do it-" he opened the door that groaned as cold air whistled on its way in, carrying in a dead brown leaf. I found myself grabbing his arm, staring at him almost manically. "Don't go. Please?" He looked at me, smiling wearily and then glanced outside. "I'll be back ok? I'll be back very soon..." he ruffled my hair, smirking when I cringed. I felt my heart sink as I watched him slink towards the shadows, moonlight gold gilding his dark blonde hair before the dark shadows swallowed him whole. I watched, and waited. The cold wailing wind stabbed sharp fingers into my eyes and filled my lungs with shattered glass until I had no choice but to reach out and drag the door shut after him. It groaned again, annoyed at me for being yanked out of its easy slumber. The world outside was a blurred blank tapestry with splotches of greys, greens, whites and the occasional red. Bleats, squeals and tooting horns would occasionally break out from other rushing night cars around me and the wet road would sigh wearily as the world raced all over it. The bag and smell of beans and potato lingered to remind me of my companion as my brain worked to try to digest all of the thoughts and ideas, churning through images of how Liam had looked, felt and sounded as I accepted that it was all a rattling part of reality. My brain slipped into a autopilot so I never realised when I got home, or when my numb hands grabbed my keys, jangling them to fill in the gaping silence as I strode towards the door that would lead me out of the night. Asian music weighted by drums, sirens and the stench of petrol and fish and chips trailed me to the front door until my eyes fell on the figure clad in dark there and I stopped moving. "Thank GOD you finally returned!" There was a woman on my doorstep with sleek dark hair and bright green eyes. Her skin was pale and ghostly and she looked like she had just stepped out of a fashion magazine even though she was wearing a huge blue hoodie, tracksuit bottoms and random flip flops. Her bare pale feet were surprisingly not frozen off and her eyes seemed blood shot and red rimmed. "Cora." I found her name rattling around inside my head and almost started laughing as I wondered how she would feel if she realised who I had been with. I decided to swallow that truth and keep it hidden; I did not know her well enough just yet to tell her I had just picked up her dead fiancé from the vet and that he was a science experiment gone horribly wrong. They all were, really. She rose slowly and gave me a sweet sad smile, her lips were dark. "Come in. It's really cold outside." I found myself looking around us for no reason before unlocking the door and letting her in to the dark where I knew Jaggers was asleep and probably dreaming about sardines. She kicked off her flip flops as she looked all around us and I felt ridiculous because she belonged in a posh eatery, not in my vintage-hippie-esque living room. I wondered if she smelt cat or if she smelt the sharp almond and coffee scent that I had decided should permeate the inside of my humble abode. She looked a bit green and sickly when I turned on the light. "Why don't you sit down." I heard myself offering as I realised she was wearing Liam's hoodie. "And tell me what you want and I'll-" She smiled wearily as she sat down, seeming slightly hunched over and shook her head sadly. "Oh it's fine I don't want or need anything....I can't really deal with food nowadays..." Had she lost weight? She seemed tired and as though an invisible leech was sucking the life out of her as well as as though she would shatter and fall apart at any second. I contemplated telling her about Liam. Howls punctuated my thoughts and jarringly wrenched me back to reality as the wolves started up a mournful orchestra for the moon. I sat down and ignored the awkward silence that tightened like a noose around my neck. She ran a hand through her hair before splaying her hands, palm side down on her thighs, focusing on a spot by my toes, which made me feel self conscious. "Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?" I asked as the wolves kept howling and I wondered how they felt; grown emotional men trapped to howl at the moon in vain. "I can't keep anything down, at all." She mumbled, playing with her hair. "Maybe you should have that looked at, it doesn't seem fun-" She closed her eyes and seemed to sigh soundlessly as I realised her hands were shaking. Jaggers stirred behind her but I ignored him for a bit, focusing only on her. "Alice I......" I felt myself frown worriedly as the first plump tear rolled down her ashen face. "I'm......I'm sorry because I didn't want it to be like this...but it is and I loved Liam so much more than you can think...I...he....he meant so much to me....a-and....so I....I've been looked at.....and I just.....I left Roger....today I told him I couldn't be with him anymore so soon after Liam....but.....but....I....I'm.....pregnant." My mind drifted back to Liam earlier on before I blanched and then was wrangled through a fire of thoughts and feelings. "Cora-" I was dying to tell her Liam was still alive. She had dissolved into messy tears. I sighed to myself. "Cora it's late...." "You're right...sorry....I'm a huge mess nowadays." I opened my mouth to speak but seemed to freeze maybe out of exhaustion, confusion and shock so I hardly noticed when she finally did leave. * LIAM I watched her walk away from the house with windows leaking light like orange juice and was painfully aware of how she smelt. Still my favourite infusion of sweet blossoms but with a new undertone, something that compelled and scared me but made me want to follow her around and make sure she was ok. My hands were tied. I had spent so many nights watching her and the new man. The other man who had once been my friend and silently hoping that she would be ok. She was mine. It was crazy I still thirsted for her and I was stuck, trapped and lost beneath my new skin and the need to howl like an idiot at a bloated orb that would never even respond or react. I wanted my life back. Badly. * ALICE I was aimlessly attempting to read, my mind many miles away when the feeling that I was being watched made a shudder jolt down my spine. My eyes flew open and I grimaced at the sickly yellow sun that tried to warm me up before I turned towards the rain soaked trees. And froze. Two huge green eyes flecked by gold watched me from the trees. He had dark brown fur bejewelled by flecks of water and dew that made him gleam in the sickly sunlight and he sat close to the edge of the forest and stared at me, or rather stared through my soul and ripped holes through me. My heart started pounding as I wondered what I should do. "Hi Alice." I jumped slightly before I registered Liam standing next to him, smiling. "Liam." I managed. Was he going to feed me to the regal beast beside him? The wolf opened its mouth in a huge yawn and the sun shone off his sharp fangs and teeth that glistened with saliva before he looked up at Liam and blinked slowly. "Um...why have you brought....a wolf to me?" I finally managed to ask. Liam was quiet for some time before he managed a smile. "What about him stands out the most to you?" "Apart from size?" "Apart from size." The eyes drew me in again and my mind lit up the memory of a tinkling laugh that made me feel warm. "He has green eyes." I managed dumbly. Liam waited for me to remember something and then looked down at the wolf that seemed close to sleep. I blinked dumbly again. "Sorry Liam you have totally lost me now." * SPENCER I had watched her grow up from afar; the tiny girl who liked waking up to play with me when she was younger. There had even been a time when I had managed to walk through her life on two legs. It had been a kaleidoscope of her sincere affection, the sweet sound of her laughter, the sun on her pale face and her big, brown eyes full of mystery. Her parents had never quite realised their precious princess ran out in the morning and hid from school bullies to play with the small and ratty wolf cub who waited almost eagerly for her, letting her yank on his tail and ears and feed him strips of meat and whatever else she wanted to. I held tightly to the memory of the day she had found me; me on two legs, a small scruffy waif with twigs in his hair sneakily watching her through the trees. She had seen me and her eyes had widened; orbs of shock and amusement. And I had felt my heart break when she had run into the house, away from me. The suffocating cold had pressed even tighter against me, rattling me in my thin clothes and I had considered running away. "Here you go!" My eyes had widened on the piece of buttered bread held out to me on the palm of a tiny hand that seemed so promising warmth and comfort and peace. "You must be hungry so I thought you might like some bread?" I had taken it, biting into the chewy, soft, salty bread that scorched my taste buds with a wild explosion of tastes that had etched a ridiculous smile onto my face as I felt the warmth of the sun for the first time in a very long time. The hunger had been burning inside me like a fire for so long I had forgotten what it was. One day I had found her crying over a boy, her broken heart obviously causing her a lot of pain judging by the huge sharp sobs that struck me like shrapnel as I worriedly watched her from the fringe of closely intertwined trees, their connections older than time. I had found a bright red sparkly plastic flower on the ground outside a playground and my pulse sang to me as did birds as I held it in my mouth and struggled to refrain from accidentally chewing it to a mushy pulp. I could smell the sweet, warm scent of her skin and hear the subtle thumping of her broken heart. Her tears smelt like dissolved salt when I finally bolted out and ran up to her, almost wagging my tail in excitement and walked up to drop the shiny plastic flower in her lap. She froze at the sight of me, startled as she gawked at me. I had grown since last time. And I had forgotten. I realised I had probably scared her with the flower and moved back, ears down. "Don't go-" her long fingered, delicate hands suddenly reached out to scratch between my ears. And then she actually laughed through her tears. And it sounded like music to my alien ears. "Thank you for this.." She picked up the shiny flower and I really did end up wagging my tail, albeit sheepishly as I realised how soggy it was from being in my mouth. "It's....quite a thoughtful gift..." She chuckled again, her whole face lighting up at the musical sound that I watched in awe, struggling to somehow show her more to make her keep laughing. Her laugh, the gentle feel of her hands and fingers, the occasional glimpse of her face in a crowd of many others always made me smile and filled me with joy when I had nothing else to hold onto. I had no choice but to watch her speed through life at what felt like break neck speed, longing to chase away the boys who played with and shattered her heart and the unkind eyes that glared at her frail body that I felt must always feel cold. And now I sat in front of her. A huge lumbering lump of fur. So sleepy and tired. She has forgotten me. She is taller now. Her eyes are wilder but sadder; the sadness haunting. ALICE I felt myself almost smile as I broke free of my stupid daydream. Liam stayed quiet, watching me as though he expected me to save the world. "I know you!" I finally stepped forward and extended a hand to the wolf that kept watching me with gold flecked green eyes, before the reality of what he was made something weird twist inside me and I looked at Liam, aware that my eyes were slightly wide. "You're kidding me!" Liam managed to smile. "I might have told him about how you helped me..." I glanced back at the wolf. "So...what now then? I mean...he's basically still a wolf..." She gave me an apologetic look. Liam looked down at the wolf. "Spencer you need to change back bruv she can't exactly have a huge wolf trotting around her house I don't think..." The wolf yawned wildly again before trotting away to a thick growth of bushes and trees that he seemed to melt into almost entirely, eerily. I took the time to study Liam; he looked a lot more rested today and seemed to have attempted to wash his hair. I wanted to tell him about Cora but wondered if he could deal with the truth, especially after what he had told me earlier. I bit my tongue instead, focusing on the citrusy scent of the forest and the faint birdsong. "We need to find a new place to dispose of our clothes when we don't need them because they smell a lot like nuts and forest in there than anything else and I'm not sure that's a good thing..." A voice that was deep but high somehow at the same time, rolled into poshly pronounced tones and smoothed into a fluidly gentle and haunting sound accentuated further by a subtle raspiness made me turn away from Luke to the other man in the clearing. The first thing I thought about him was that he was some kind of ridiculously tall and lanky giant. He had badly rumpled brown hair and pale skin pulled tight over sharp, high cheekbones and a long thin nose. His eyes were big and green but outlined by bruise like dark circles, his lips were blue tinged and he had a faint scar on his lower lip. He had an eerily haunting androgynous sharpness to his features that hinted at haughtiness and walked with the sureness of a man who had spent a very long time getting used to his body and understanding exactly how to refrain from anything awkward or clumsy. Liam rolled his eyes. "Alice this is Spencer. He's a total cunt and he's our alpha. No one knows where he came from but he's just always been there." Spencer suppressed another yawn. "You do realise I still have my ability to talk don't you Walters?" His lips curled into a mocking smirk before he looked at me and smiled. "Pleasure to finally make your acquaintance..." he held out a huge long fingered hand for me to shake without looking away from me. I found myself taking it and shaking it; of course his hand felt warm and oddly human because of course he was as human as Liam was. Spencer looked all around us with the air of someone who knew his way around and I realised he actually did, and that was unnerving. "Everything is still the same as it was a few years ago...." He walked over to look at the birdbath and ran a finger along its lip as the wind showered us all in leaves and reminded me how painfully cold I was. "You two should come in for tea." My body somehow offered. "It's awfully cold outside and I'm sure you're both probably hungry..." Spencer kept staring at the birdbath, the sunlight turning to flames in his hair. I looked at Liam. "Of course," Liam smiled at me warmly. "You lead the way and we'll follow you."

#wolf #wolves #alpha #random #writing #words #thoughts #emotions #emotive #prose #humour

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