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wolfiemcwolferson · 11 months

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another fic I’ll never write

in honor of Carlando doing *waves hands* - have a fic I’ll never write. (though I’m not gonna lie, typing all this out...I was like...okay, maybe I could, but then I was like. No. Trauma.) CW for religious trauma

I’ll never be able to write this fic because it’s...heavily based on my own experiences in fundamental Christianity and I don’t think I can go there, ya know? Some world building stuff under the cut before we get to fic, but it’s uh...a lot.

So, to understand this world, you need to understand that there is a way things are done. Men lead the home. They are expected to get a good job and marry a good woman and they have as many kids as they can because children are a blessing from God and women don’t work. They don’t lead any sort of worship or hold leadership in the church, BUT what they can do, is teach children. Any deviation from any of the expectations is frowned upon. Someone raised as a woman in this world, I was expected to get engaged before I graduated high school, married that summer or the summer after. College absolutely optional. I say this because the men get more leeway. Men normally don’t have to get married until 25 (yeah, do the math there), because they’re expected to have a career and be able to “provide” immediately upon entering into a marriage. It’s genuinely all...fucked. So, when I say that I grew up in a cult, I actually mean I grew up in a cult.

Okay, now to fic stuff.

The whole thing opens with Lando - the minister’s son who is leading the congregation in song. We learn that he’s graduating high school soon and this is a special service where you “move up”. Essentially, you are grouped by age and the younger people in the group are “mentored” by the oldest members of the age group for a year or two and Lando is moving into the “young adult” group. Of course, he gets paired with Carlos - which he has a bit of an internal panic about because he knows what his dad is doing. Lando is too feminine. He is going to study music at university and he prefers to play with the kids and he’s never dated and it’s all because he’s really absolutely gay and he’s terrified because he cannot ever be gay. So, he knows that his dad paired him with Carlos because Carlos is good. Carlos is getting an Engineering degree and he doesn’t date because he’s ‘waiting for God’s perfect plan’ and he is masculine and perfect and Lando is a little bit in love with him - has been for years. How could he not be. The two of them go to lunch and Carlos is being so so so kind. He’s talking to Lando about how they’ll both be commuting to the university a couple of towns over and he’s asking Lando if he’s registered for his classes and when they are. “Perhaps we could get lunch together some there, yes?” And it’s all very perfect. And Lando has never let himself look at him at Carlos for too long, but he’s watching him now and it’s mesmerizing. Carlos is kind and he listens to Lando when he speaks and he doesn’t say anything shitty to him when they talk about how Lando wants to be a music teacher and he’s just...so much different than Lando expected him to be, but in the best way. Lando goes home that night after he and Carlos exchange numbers and they make tentative plans to go do this local mission together at a nursing home and Lando lays in bed that night and he wonders how he will spend the rest of his life living a lie.

And then it’s just Lando allowing himself to languish in Carlos’ attention for the long summer. They go to repaint the outside of the nursing home for a whole week and Carlos never once asks him why he doesn’t date or what he’s waiting for in someone he will marry and he sometimes says things that make Lando pause for a long long moment and Lando has the weirdest summer where he spirals deeper into his crush and more miserable than he ever has been.

The fall semester starts and it’s awful. It’s boring. It’s all theory and history class, but there’s this really funny guy in all his theory classes that plays the piano better than Lando could ever dream of and he’s so comfortably gay that it rocks Lando’s world. He just gets to be gay and he’s happy and he tells Lando about all the boys that chase him and Lando doesn’t know what’s real anymore because he’s also having lunch with Carlos once a week on campus and Carlos seems...different here. He’s lighter and he greets everyone and he seems to be so popular and he laughs differently and it’s Lando’s first proper taste of the world outside.

Until. Until Lando and Charles are having lunch together after their history class gets cancelled and the run into Carlos and Carlos is...an ass. He will barely look at Charles. He doesn’t speak more than one word to him and Lando is devastated because it confirms everything for him. Carlos hates Charles because Charles is gay and he doesn’t pretend otherwise and this man that Lando has been building up to be someone that is good is just a reminder of his cage. He is furious and when the three of them part ways after lunch, Lando follows him. “HEY!” he shouts when Carlos is nearly to his car, tears leaking from his eyes already, “I know, but I believed you were different.” “Lando,” Carlos says, trying to snag his wrist. “Please -” Lando shoves at him a little bit. “You can hate him, but he’s just like me.” And now Carlos is furious. “Get in the car, Lando.” “I have -” “Get in the car.” Lando gets in the car and Carlos drives and drives and drives and tells Lando to call his dad and tell him that he and Carlos are going to bible study here tonight and they end up at a lake and Carlos stops his car and says, “You are 19 and I am not and I cannot do this with you.” “Do what?” And instead of answering, Carlos kisses him.

That’s where this fic gets kind of fuzzy for me.

Carlos and Lando have a mad mad descent into discovering each other. Carlos reveals that he’s waiting to escape. He wasn’t raised in this. After his mother passed away, his dad found religion and that’s how he ended up here, but he has an aunt in Chicago and after he finishes his dual BS/MS degree in the spring, he’s going to leave. He knows he’s gay. He’s always known he’s gay. Lando tells him about how he can’t imagine how he will go back to his life - how he will marry someone - how he will live this life forever.

Carlos is leaving in May, you know? they both know. At some point, in the bed of Lando’s father’s pick-up truck, Carlos asks Lando to go with him. “We can run. I will get a very good job and you can finish school. And we will be happy. We can make friends and live in a tiny apartment and I will buy you an upright piano with my second paycheck. We can run.” And Lando says no.

Lando says no and Carlos smooths his hair back and kisses him anyway and tells him that it’s okay, they still have time.

Lando doesn’t go though. Carlos tells him the night before he leaves that he loves Lando and Lando tells him that he’s been in love with him maybe since he was 14 and the next morning when Lando wakes up, he knows that Carlos is already driving north.

It rocks the community. Carlos leaving rocks the community because he was...perfect. He was perfect and he left and Lando’s father comes down on him hard because they were close.

Lando loses all autonomy at this point. He has to go to class and home. He gets a girlfriend. He is doing it all and for two years, it’s enough but he never stops remembering the way he felt when Carlos touched him and he never stops remembering the way Carlos had asked him to run and he never stops remembering what it felt like to be himself.

So when he and Charles start their last year of school, Charles says to him very simply, “You know that you can live in my apartment? I will not charge you rent and then afterwards? After May? When we are done? You can live wherever I live. Because I think if I leave you here, you will wither away.”

Lando doesn’t take him up on that offer, but when April rolls around and Lando has an offer from the local high school to be their associate band teacher, he shows up on Charles’ doorstep with four suitcases and a cracked leather bible and Charles shows him the apartment he found for them in Chicago and Lando stops breathing for a full minute.

And this is where things get even fuzzier.

Lando doesn’t have a family anymore because you get ex-communicated by these people when you leave. So, he leaves and he follows Charles to Chicago and Lando teaches piano lessons to a string of really awful rich kids and he plays guitar with Charles on the weekend and he finds this weird little group for ex-fundie kids and they listen to Semler songs and cry about them together.

Two years after he moves to Chicago, he moves into his own place - roommate free. He starts a new job at a fancy private school and he doesn’t really do the ex-fundie group anymore, but he’s friends with all of them still and he goes to their queer weddings and he is so happy. He dates. He finds out that he really loves dancing. He figures out what kind of person he is.

And so...when he walks into a coffee shop four blocks from the fancy ass private school that he just got a job in and he sees Carlos Sainz sitting in the corner, he doesn’t hesitate to walk up to him and stand in the light and smile at him. “Hello,” he says, smiling about the way Carlos’ eyes go impossibly wider before he stands up and hugs him.

Okay, don’t shout.

I would leave it open ended. Very ambiguous. They smile at each other and Carlos asks him to dinner and that’s that. That’s the end of the fic.

Of course, I have my own thoughts about their ending, but I’d love to hear yours.

#carlando #never fic #religious trauma cw #I have to go into hiding right now because Sol is coming at me with discord murder frog emojis

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year

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Homophobia feat. Queer Teacher Alliance

Prompts: hi, sorry if requests aren’t open, but you wrote a fic called Homphobia feat. A Two Hour Math Test and it’s honestly been one of my comfort fics, and I wanted to request something kind of similar? A human au where one of the sides (preferably patton but you can do whichever character you want!) accidentally outs himself while arguing with a homophobic teacher about LGBTQ stuff and starts getting bullied for it by the students and the teacher. The other sides (actually good teachers) find him having a breakdown and comfort him and stand up for him against the other teacher, and it’s just emotional hurt/comfort and validation all around. Absolutely no pressure to do this if you don’t want to/it’s too similar to the other one /gen! wishing you a lovely day :D - anon

hello there! first not-anon fic request so I'm kind of panicking a little but it's fine!! anyway, I've recently reread Homophobia feat. a 2-hour Math Test, and it's been really comforting for a person who grew up and went to school in a very rural part of America (eugh republicans everywhere). I was wondering if you would be willing to write another work in that realm of Virgil suddenly having this insanely elaborate (insanely gay) support system that he didn't think was possible. or him turn table-ing on that support system and helping them with their problems. idk just something I've been thinking about! love ur stuff and I hope you'll take my request into consideration!! <3 - vinnbee631

Read on Ao3

Warnings: homophobic language, outing, panic attacks/anxiety attacks

Pairings: gen

Word Count: 5851

Listen, all high school days suck, this one was just shaping up to suck more than literally all of the other ones ever. Namely, he was stuck in a class where not only was there a homophobic argument going on—as in, both sides are being homophobic and just debating on how best to be homophobic—but the teacher is doing literally fucking nothing to stop them.

Okay, first off? There’s actually nothing wrong with not being straight. Big mind shock there to some people apparently, but yeah, nope. Nothing wrong with not wanting to get into a relationship or have sex with the opposite gender.

Second, there’s no curing it because there’s nothing wrong with not being straight. There aren’t some fucking factory settings you can just reset to default and everything’s all heterosexual and cisgender again.

And third, there’s never a good reason to be using slurs in a classroom. Never.

All things that Virgil would love to say out loud but he’s currently seething a bit too much at no one else saying a goddamn thing. Especially the teacher. Come on, the teacher is supposed to be the one educating everyone, that includes educating bigots on their ignorance so they can, you know, not be ignorant and bigoted anymore? Ring any bells literally at all?

Apparently not because it’s been ten fucking minutes of this shit and the teacher hasn’t even so much as blinked.

Eventually, Virgil gets fucking sick of this—fair—and raises his hand to ask to go to the bathroom. Which is another stupid thing about high school because why in the fuck should I have to ask to go to the bathroom? What else am I gonna do, fucking piss myself in the middle of the classroom? Hell no.

The teacher waves offhandedly and he gets up to go, but not before one of them catches sight of him leaving and decides, like an idiot, to try and involve him in the conversation.

“Hey, Virgil! Virgil, you think I’m right, don’t you?”

“Uh, I haven’t super been paying attention.” Which is true.

“Where’re you going? Class isn’t over yet.”

Oh, don’t I know it. “Bathroom.”

“You’re not going to meet up with someone for, y’know, reasons are you?”

There are somehow more discreet and much better ways to ask if someone in your high school class is going to hook up with someone in the bathroom, and Virgil would prefer hearing literally any of them right now.

“Oh my god, Kyle, you can’t just say something like that.”

Thank you, other homophobe.

“Besides, Virgil would never be gay. He’s a good person!”

Okay, back to fuck you, other homophobe.

“You can’t just blame sexuality on morality! You can’t just automatically assume all bad people are going to be gay or that all good people aren’t gay!”

That on its own as a sentence? Fine. Sure. Whatever. In the context of this conversation? Virgil really wants to throw a desk at Kyle’s head. He tries to just continue out of the classroom, but Kyle catches him by the sleeve and he grits his teeth.

“Dude, seriously I’m just trying to use the bathroom. Lemme go.”

“Wait, wait, hold on, you gotta convince Leslie that I’m right.”

Virgil doesn’t have to do shit.

“Look,” Leslie says like she’s talking to a person incapable of understanding any sort of logic, “if you make bad choices, you just have to recognize why they’re bad and then you’ll come to your senses enough not to do it anymore. If you just give someone the space and support they need to understand why the choices they’re making are bad for them, they’ll realize that they need to stop making those choices.”

“You do realize that most of them don’t give a shit about what’s good or bad, right? They like it, they enjoy it, they’re not gonna want to change. You can’t just make someone change their sexuality, that’s not how it works.”

Again, single sentences by itself? Fine. Hell, Virgil might say something similar. But right now? The way it’s being used? Kyle’s face really looks like it needs a desk in it right now.

“Virgil, you agree with me, right?”

No, Leslie, I sure the fuck don’t.

“If gay people would just…understand that their lifestyle is unsustainable and unsatisfying, they wouldn’t be gay anymore. It’s the same with alcohol and drugs and all that stuff. If you understand why it’s bad for you, you won’t do it anymore.”

Virgil blinks once. Twice.

You ever just…need a moment to process how much stupid someone just said to you? Like you need to take a second to look at the massive suitcase in front of you before deciding it’s too much to unpack and just throwing it all in the dumpster?

“That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard,” Kyle says—which is fair— “gay people are criminals. They’re breaking the law and they should be punished for it,” which is not fair.

“Actually,” Virgil says, still trying to tug his sleeve away, “it is legal now. Gay marriage is legal, Kyle.”

“Yeah, but so was slavery at one point. Doesn’t make it right.”

“Did you just compare gay marriage to slavery and think it was a good comparison?”

Kyle waves his hand like that just dismisses Virgil’s very good point about false equivalence. “And it’s against religious law too.”

“You do realize that we live in a secular state, right?”

“What’s that mean?”

“There’s a separation of church and state. Religion doesn’t govern, it doesn’t make the laws. We have religious freedom for a reason. And there are plenty of other religions in the country that—“

“Okay, okay, but like, it’s still wrong.”

“Why?”

Kyle looks at him strangely. “Dude, why are you so upset?”

“I dunno, maybe because both of you are being idiots? There’s nothing wrong with being gay!”

“There’s nothing wrong with people who are gay, no,” Leslie says quickly, as if he’s agreeing with her, “but if they made better choices then—“

“You’re wrong too,” Virgil says, “being gay isn’t a choice. You don’t just wake up and choose to be gay.”

“Hah! See?”

“I’m not agreeing with either of you, you’re both wrong. Now I really need to pee so if you’ll excuse me—“

“Dude, just tell us why you’re so upset about this and we’ll—“

He sees the moment Kyle’s eyes widen and his sleeve is let go like it’s gonna burn him.

“No,” he says, shaking his head, “no, no, no, you can’t be, we’ve—we’ve shared a locker room, there’s no way.”

“What are you talking about, Kyle? I told you, there’s no way Virgil’s gay, he’s a good person.”

“What part of sexuality isn’t morality did you not get,” Kyle hisses, “he’s—oh my god, I’m gonna throw up.”

“Virgil, just tell him you’re not gay.” Leslie looks up at him. “You’re not, right? You’re not gay, are you?”

Now, see, here’s what Virgil should do. He should just shake his head and tell them they’re both fucking idiots and go to the bathroom. He should be like ‘that’s none of your goddamn business’ and leave. Hell, maybe he should just say that no, he’s not gay, so they’ll let him get out.

He doesn’t do any of those things. He just stands there.

“Oh goodness,” Leslie mumbles like she’s about to faint, “no, no, Virgil, you can’t.”

“Get the hell away from me,” Kyle spits, shoving himself into another chair, “get your goddamn hands off me.”

“You grabbed me,” Virgil points out, “I was just trying to leave.”

“Virgil, Virgil, sit down—“

“Don’t fucking tell him to sit down! I don’t want that anywhere near me!”

“Excuse me,” the teacher says, finally, like he’s just pulled his head out of his goddamned ass, “you three need to be quiet. Virgil, if you’re going to the bathroom, go.”

“Go and don’t come back,” Kyle spits, “I don’t want any of your gay shit near me.”

See, now, Virgil expects the teacher to, you know, maybe tell him off for swearing, at least?

“…Kyle, it’s not nice to be throwing around accusations like that.”

“It’s not an accusation if it’s true!”

The teacher looks up at Virgil. Virgil looks back at him.

Come on, man, just…just don’t be a piece of shit.

“…Virgil, when you return, why don’t you and I take a walk down to the counselor’s office so we can discuss your…mental health. I understand that high school is a very challenging time—“

Virgil tunes out the rest of whatever the fuck the teacher is spouting because oh my fucking god. He turns around and flees to the safety of the hallway.

Fucking go. Doesn’t matter where just fucking get the fuck out of this place and away from those assholes before you die.

His heart is fucking pounding and he wants to slam his head into the wall until he gets their stupid fucking voices out of his head and he hates this, he hates this.

He doesn’t know where his feet are taking him but a chill breeze tells him he’s near the east wing. The science classrooms and art classrooms are over here. They keep the windows open for the fumes. Right. That’s where he is. That’s all the way on the other side of the school. Great. Fun. This is fine.

He sinks into a crouch near one of the corners out of sight of the rest of the hallway. His lungs still aren’t cooperating. This is fine. This is fine. This is fine.

He curls himself into a ball. He pulls his hoodie tightly around him. He yanks on the strings until he can feel the hood digging into his head.

If he just stays here, if he stays a little bad where no one can find him, he’ll be safe.

“Whoa, hey, pretty sure you can’t be here, bud.”

Nope. No more teachers. He’s just gonna stay still and not move.

“C’mon, you don’t want detention, I don’t wanna write you up, let’s just get you back to where you need to go, okay?”

There’s a hand on his shoulder that’s trying to get him to look up and Virgil doesn’t care anymore, he’d rather be in detention than go back to his class right now.

“Hey, it’s—wait, V?”

That’s Mr. Dagenheart, isn’t it? He’s the art teacher, right. Okay. Probably not gonna get dragged off to the principal right away.

“V, can you look at me?”

Virgil peels himself up from where his face is plastered in his knees and stares up at Mr. Dagenheart. There’s a green streak across his mustache.

“You…got paint,” he mumbles in a ruined voice, raising a trembling hand to tap his upper lip.

Mr. Dagenheart just stares down at him. “V, you look awful.”

“…’anks.”

“No, wait, what happened? C’mon, come up off the floor, it’s even grosser than me. C’mere, come in here, come talk to me.”

Virgil lets himself get scraped off the floor and helped into the art room, sat on a stool as Mr. Dagenheart blusters around trying to find a cup that hasn’t got paint or paint thinner in it. Eventually there’s a clean plastic cup shoved gently into his hands as he tries to get the shaking back under control.

“Drink up, it’s safe. Promise. Got a fresh one just for you.”

“Thanks.”

Mr. Dagenheart watches as he drains the cup, quickly filling it up with more and setting it on the table. “Now, why don’t you tell me what you’re doing all the way over here? I’m not supposed to catch sight of you until after lunch when you and your other gremlins go bother Mackenzie next door.”

“I, um…”

How in the fuck is he supposed to explain what just happened?

“…I was trying to go to the bathroom.”

“Bathroom ain’t over her, V.”

“I know.”

“Did you get lost? Did you have a panic attack?”

“…kind of?”

Mr. Dagenheart nudges him gently. “I’m only gonna be able to do so much if you don’t tell me what’s going on, V.”

Virgil toys with the plastic cup, one of the edges almost tearing under his fingers. “I’m…I’m not bad, am I?”

“Are you bad? Whoa, hey, no, no, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” he says quickly, reaching out to put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “I just…you just surprised me, that’s all. No, V, you’re not bad.”

“I’m not a bad person?”

Mr. Dagenheart frowns but shakes his head. “No, Virgil, you’re not a bad person. Why are you asking me that?”

“E-even if I’m…if I’m gay?”

Silence.

Fuck. I fucked it up. I fucked it up so bad and now I’m gonna have to run again.

“Virgil,” Mr. Dagenheart says, looking more serious than he’s ever seen him before, “you are not a bad person. You are not a bad person, do you hear me? It doesn’t matter what your sexuality is, you are not a bad person. Being gay does not make you a bad person, you understand?”

Virgil just nods, a bit dazed by the sudden intensity.

“Can you say that with me?”

“Being gay d-doesn’t make me a bad person,” Virgil stammers, “but—“

“No buts, V. Being gay doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“It doesn’t?”

“No, Virgil. Being gay isn’t bad. It’s just gay. Nothing wrong with being gay. Promise.”

And to his absolute horror, Virgil sniffles.

“Oh, hey, c’mere, come gimme a hug. Oh, hey…” Mr. Dagenheart gathers him in for a gross and messy hug and it’s the best thing that’s happened to Virgil all day. “There, that’s better, right?”

“‘M sorry for—for crying you.”

“Hey, it’s my job to be gross, I don’t care.” He pulls back and pushes the cup of water at him. “Drink. I’ll get you a tissue.”

One tissue box and several cups of water later, Virgil rubs his eyes and takes a deep breath. Mr. Dagenheart watches him carefully, nodding when Virgil glances over at him.

“Did someone say something to you? Is that why—“ he waves a hand at Virgil’s general messiness— “this happened?”

“…yeah.”

“Can I call your homeroom teacher? He should know about it.”

“W-wait, what?”

“Virgil, if someone’s being openly homophobic, I need to tell someone. Especially since it led to you getting hurt.”

“B-but I’m fine.” Mr. Dagenheart gives him a look. “…do you really have to tell him?”

“I should,” he says, softer now, “but we can wait a bit if you’d rather do that.”

Virgil toys with the strings on his hoodie. “…you can tell him.”

“Thanks.” Mr. Dagenheart picks up the phone and dials a number. “Mr. Everheart? Patton, yeah, listen, can you come down to my room? Need to talk to you about something. Okay, great.”

He hangs up the phone and turns back to Virgil.

“He’ll be down in a moment.”

“And he—“ god, this is such a stupid question— “he’ll be—he’ll be fine?”

Mr. Dagenheart rests a hand on his shoulder again. “Yeah, V. He’s gonna be on your side about all this, I promise.”

Virgil nods, his eyes on the door.

“Hey.” Mr. Dagenheart nudges him. “I’m really proud of you, okay? Coming out is really hard, especially when it’s like this. Thank you for being willing to share this with me.”

“…didn’t feel fair not to?”

Mr. Dagenheart shakes his head. “It’s your life, Virgil. Your moment. Your coming out. There’s no shame in staying in the closet if it isn’t safe to be out of it.”

“R-really?”

“Really.”

A few seconds later, there’s a knock on the door, swinging open to reveal a concerned-looking Mr. Everheart who only grows more concerned when he sees Virgil sitting there, very obviously have-been-crying.

“Virgil? What’s going on, are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, ‘m fine, I just—“ goddamnit, why is your soft concern making me cry again— “I jus’—I—“

“Hey, it’s alright, kiddo, you take your time.” Mr. Everheart rubs his back as he glances up, watching Mr. Dagenheart push more water toward him. “What happened? Panic attack?”

“Do you want me to tell him,” Mr. Dagenheart asks quietly, “or do you want to?”

Virgil shuffles, pulling his hoodie a bit tighter around his shoulders refusing to meet their gazes.

“Got outed during a homophonic argument,” he mumbles, “went…bad.”

“Oh, kiddo, I’m so sorry that happened. Are you okay?” Virgil just shrugs. “Yeah, well, I suppose that’s fair.”

“Better now.”

“I’m glad.”

“…do I still have to go back to class?”

“No,” Mr. Dagenheart says just as Mr. Everheart says, “goodness, no.”

“Yay.”

“It’s almost lunch, anyway,” Mr. Everheart continues, glancing at the clock, “if Mr. Dagenheart doesn’t mind us invading his classroom a little longer…”

“God no. Stay all you want. I don’t have anyone in here until last period.”

“Thanks.”

He pats Virgil’s shoulder. “’Course. Do you want to get your lunch? You hungry?”

“Not really. ‘M fine.”

“You should try and eat something,” Mr. Everheart encourages, “just to keep your strength up.”

“Maybe later.”

“Alright, later it is, then.”

Virgil has a sneaking suspicion he’s gonna get held to that.

“Who was it,” Mr. Everheart continues, “that was involved?”

“…um…”

“I get not being a snitch,” Mr. Dagenheart says, “but these people are using homophobic language on campus and they’re bullying you. That’s not acceptable, Virgil.”

“No, it’s not. And I can’t let it happen. Especially if they start doing it more.”

Virgil chews his lip. “K-Kyle and Leslie,” he mumbles, “a-and…”

“And…?” Mr. Everheart prompts. “I can keep your name out of it, if that’ll make you feel better.”

“…the, um…the teacher kinda…joined in too.”

“He did fucking what?”

“Remus,” Mr. Everheart hisses even though the hand on Virgil’s shoulder has tightened significantly, “language.”

“I’m not gonna give a shit about language if I’m getting told one of my colleagues is being homophobic,” Mr. Dagenheart seethes, “especially to a student!”

“Guys,” Virgil says a bit desperately, “it’s not—“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Virgil. This is a big deal and it’s not okay.”

“He’s right,” Mr. Everheart says, “this is unacceptable, Virgil.”

He gentles a bit when he sees how obviously upset Virgil is about all of this.

“Hey,” he says, rubbing his back again, “thank you for telling us. We’re not going to bring your name into it when we take it up with the Dean, but you know we can’t let this happen again, right?”

Virgil nods, feeling tears well up behind his eyes again as he fiddles with the empty plastic cup. Mr. Everheart makes a sympathetic noise.

“Do you want a hug?”

“…sure.”

Why does he give such good hugs? This isn’t fair. I’m just gonna cry again. Nope, no more crying over those assholes, they don’t deserve it.

“There’s another sink in the back,” Mr. Dagenheart suggests, taking the now-mangled cup from him, “it’s cleaner. There are towels back there too, clean ones. Why don’t you go wash your face off? It might feel better.”

“O-okay.” He glances up with a watery smile. “Are you gonna wash the paint off too?”

“I think I like it, actually. Makes my face look more interesting.”

Virgil manages a laugh as he heads to the back room, listening to the two of them start talking quietly. Okay. Okay, this is fine. This actually turned out…kind of okay. Mr. Dagenheart seems pissed but not at him and Mr. Everheart seems like he wants to help and not make a big deal out of it. Good. These are both good things. He can work with this. Everything might actually turn out okay.

He turns on the tap and shoves up his sleeves, splashing the cold water on his face and dabbing it off with a towel. He’s just about to hang it back over the rail when he hears the door open again.

“There you are, I thought we’d have to search the whole building for you!”

“He left a note saying he’d be down here, it wasn’t exactly a stellar deduction.”

“Mm, and we all know who the expert at those is.”

Nope. Nevermind. He takes it back. This is not okay. This is very much no okay. No okays here.

He knows who just walked in.

That was Mr. Prince, Mr. Mackenzie, and Mr. DeLuca. Shit.

What in the fuck are they all doing here? Do they all meet up for lunch or some shit? Fuck, that’s exactly what’s going on, isn’t it? They’re all here for their lunch break and that means Virgil’s gonna have to find somewhere else to hide for the rest of the day and shit, he’s not gonna be able to make it out of this room without anyone noticing, is he?

Fuck, why did it have to be them?

‘Cause Mr. Prince is gonna wanna know exactly what’s going on and he’s—god, extra doesn’t even begin to cover it and he may or may not be part of the reason Virgil realized he was gay in the first place, how in the fuck is he supposed to explain what’s going on?

And Mr. Mackenzie is super fucking serious and no-laughing all the time, he’s not gonna react well to Virgil being all emotional and crying and being upset about things, not when he’s got work to do and he has his class later, fuck.

And Mr. DeLuca is fucking scary. Fuck, he’s given Virgil panic attacks before, he fucking eats students alive if they try and pull dramatics in his classroom, he’s so fucked.

“What are you doing here, anyway? Normally, we’re the ones who come to meet you.”

Don’t tell them I’m here. Please, for the love of god, don’t tell them.

“I got called down,” Mr. Everheart says, “Remus wanted to talk about something.”

“Oh?” Mr. Prince must pull out a stool or something. “Do tell.”

No. Don’t tell. Don’t say shit.

“Whatever it is, surely it can wait until we’re at lunch,” Mr. DeLuca says smoothly—yes, please, leave so I can run out of here— “now, if you don’t mind, shall we?”

“Gimme a second.”

Virgil has about two seconds before Mr. Dagenheart appears around the corner and shuts the door to the back room, coming over and taking the towel from his hands.

“Hey,” he says quietly, “look at me, Virgil.”

The others are still here. They could hear him.

“Hey.” Virgil’s eyes snap to his. “There. Good. Can you take a deep breath for me?”

Breathing is stupid.

“Come on, in and out, you can do it.”

He can hear them talking through the door. Did Mr. Everheart just say there’s a student back there? Shit, he did. They’re talking about it now. Fuck, why did they have to talk about it?

“Virgil,” Mr. Dagenheart says firmly, “you’re panicking. Come on, just focus on me. Breathe in…”

Slowly, Virgil lets him walk him through a breathing exercise, squeezing his hands to make sure he can still move them and everything. But Virgil can still hear the others talking so his gaze keeps darting to the side and eventually Mr. Dagenheart asks if he wants them kicked out.

“N-no, you’ve—you have lunch plans—“

“You’re more important than my damn lunch plans, Virgil, now do you want me to kick them out?”

“…can you just make them be quiet?”

And of course he goes right over to the door, throws it open, and yells: “all of you shut the fuck up, you’re making it worse.”

“That is not what I meant,” Virgil hisses when he comes back over looking way too pleased with himself.

“Yeah, but I don’t get enough excuses to do that anyway. Now,” he says, reaching out to take his shoulders, “you doing okay? If you wanna hide in here for the rest of the day that’s fine with me, we just gotta get some food in you first.”

As appealing as it sounds, it does smell like paint fumes in here and Virgil’s few remaining braincells would appreciate not being murdered.

“Okay,” is the response he gets when he says as much—slightly edited, thank you— “do you wanna come back to the front now? You don’t have to tell ‘em anything, but they are gonna ask you what’s wrong.”

“Why?”

“Aside from the fact that you’ve kinda obviously been having a panic attack—“ rude but okay— “they’re gonna care, Virgil. And they’ll be on your side too, okay?”

“…they will?”

“Yeah, V. Promise they will.”

“How obvious is it that I’ve been crying?”

“…listen I’m not a very good liar, V, but you do look okay.”

Virgil glances around for anything that might be vaguely a mirror and gives up, pulling his hoodie down to cover his shaking hands and following Mr. Dagenheart back to the front of the art room.

As soon as he gets through the doorway and feels all of the eyes looking at him, though, he wants to shrivel up and disappear.

“Virgil?” Oh, hey, Mr. Prince, what’s going on? “Virgil, is that you? Are you alright?”

No, as a matter of fact, I am most certainly not. “…yeah.”

“You don’t have to lie to us, Virgil,” comes Mr. DeLuca’s voice and Virgil isn’t quick enough to stop his flinch.

“What’s happened,” Mr. Prince asks as really fucking warm hands land on his shoulders and steer him to a stool, “what’s wrong?”

“Let’s not overwhelm him,” he hears Mr. Dageheart hiss, “c’mon, Ro, don’t be an idiot.”

“Oh, y’know,” Virgil tries, aiming for casual nihilism and missing by a few major philosophical paradigm shifts, “getting homophobic comments hurled at me, trying not to have an existential breakdown, just your every day high school things.”

“Someone was using homophobic language to bully you?” Mr. Prince’s grip suddenly tightens on his shoulder. “Did they out you as well?”

“…kinda outed myself by accident, but…”

“No, Virgil that’s not—look at me.”

He looks up because he’s a fucking idiot and sees Mr. Prince staring at him all soft and concerned and he is going to die, this is how.

“Do not ever blame yourself for other people’s ignorance,” he says firmly, holding eye contact, “you are not to blame for their shortcomings and it is not your job to make them understand just how little they know. That’s not your responsibility nor should you feel like it is.”

“…okay.”

“He’s right,” Mr. DeLuca says and since fucking when has he been that soft, “don’t spend your time trying to make other people better, it’s a thankless job with no reward.”

“…aren’t you a teacher?”

“I said better, not smarter.” But then he’s reaching over and carefully pulling Virgil’s collar away from his neck so it doesn’t choke him, and he’s still looking at him with a soft expression and Virgil is really confused, because why is Mr. DeLuca not skinning him alive right now, “Virgil, look at me.”

The concern is getting stronger, he can see it.

“Hey,” he says and how is his voice getting softer, “hey, what’s the matter? What’s scaring you right now?”

“I believe we are.”

Mr. Mackenzie, always there with the great observation skills. No wonder he’s a science teacher.

“Give him some space,” he says, and sure enough everyone except Mr. Prince backs up a little, “let him breathe.”

“Hey,” Mr. Prince murmurs, still rubbing Virgil’s back, “it’s okay. We’re right here. You just take your time, okay? No rush.”

Fuck it. I just got outed, had homophobic insults hurled at me, and I’m currently in the middle of a bunch of mental breakdowns. I’m allowed to be a mess.

Virgil buries his face in his hands and takes several heaving breaths, trying to focus more on the faint waxy smell of oil pastels and the warmth of the hand between his shoulders. There are a few quiet murmurs around him but other than that, he’s given the space he needs to process what’s going on.

When he finally raises his head, it’s to a tissue box and another cup of water, both of which he accepts gratefully and tries to be a bit more of a person. When he’s gotten as far as he’s gonna get with that, Mr. Prince ruffles his hair and smiles at him.

Not now, gay panic. Please for the love of fuck not now.

“Virgil,” Mr. Mackenzie says, also speaking softly, what the fuck is this, “aside from my class, what else do you have this afternoon?”

“Uh…a study period.”

“Are any of you free this last period?”

“I am,” Mr. DeLuca says, “I’ve got one class and that’s it.”

“I would not be opposed to you skipping class today,” and what in the actual good fuck is happening, who are you and what have you done with my science teacher, “considering this is just to be a recap mainly for students who failed coursework for the last week and your scores were exemplary.”

“I—uh—what?”

“He’s saying there’s no reason for you to sit next to homophobes if you don’t want to,” Mr. Dagenheart says, “and so you can spend the first period here with me—if you want, and then Janus’ll take you for the second one.”

“Or we can go see Dr. Picani and see if he’ll write you a note to let you go early.”

Hold on. Back up.

Slow down.

“What’s going on?”

“You’ve just been through a traumatizing experience,” Mr. Mackenzie says, “and therefore are not in an opportune place to learn or benefit in any way from school. The solution I’m proposing is that you spend the rest of the day away from any of the students who could harm you further, be that spending time with Mr. Dagenheart and Mr. DeLuca, or by being excused for the rest of the day.”

Virgil blinks. Okay, yeah, that makes sense, but… “Why?”

“Because your well-being should come before your academics.” He tilts his head when Virgil stares at him like he’s grown two. “What’s that look for?”

“I dunno,” he says warily, “something about one teacher being homophobic and then a whole bunch of them being weirdly out-of-character supportive.”

“A teacher was part of this?”

“Name, Virgil,” Mr. DeLuca says firmly, “now.”

“Don’t scare him,” Mr. Mackenzie chides, seemingly focusing on the second part of that, “Virgil, if we have behaved or acted in any sort of way to make you believe that we would not support you for something like this, we deeply apologize.”

“It’s our job to make students feel like they have a safe learning environment,” Mr. Everheart says—right, he’s here too.

“Though I do want to know the teacher’s name,” Mr. Prince adds.

“…why are you guys doing this?”

Mr. Prince looks at him for a second, before a small smile comes to his face. “Raise your hand if you’re gay.”

Virgil’s eyes widen as every single one of their hands goes up.

“Virgil,” he prompts gently, “did you hear me?”

“Do not pressure someone to come out,” Mr. Dagenheart hisses, “what is wrong with you, Ro?”

“Right, right, sorry.”

“N-no, no, I—“ Virgil slowly raises his hand too— “I got it.”

“See?” Mr. Mackenzie smiles. “We’re with you, Virgil.”

“And whoever that teacher is,” Mr. DeLuca says in his scary voice, “he most certainly will be taught a lesson of his own.”

The cheesy villain line makes Virgil snort as he lowers his hand. “Thanks, guys.”

“Think nothing of it.” Mr. Dagenheart taps the table. “Now, I need food and I’m pretty sure everyone else does too.”

“Virgil, did you bring a lunch?”

“…nope.”

“Great, what’s your favorite kind of pizza?”

“My what now?”

“Thursday is pizza day,” Mr. Prince says by way of explanation as Mr. Mackenzie starts typing on his phone, “and it’s not my week to pay.”

“Excuse you?”

“No, I looked at the calendar, I’m next week.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hey, no, wait, I paid last week, so it is Ro’s week.”

“It is not!”

Mr. DeLuca rolls his eyes fondly as the others dissolve into bickering, beckoning a baffled Virgil over to him. “Are you alright, now?”

“…still a bit confused and upset, but…yeah? I think so? I mean, pizza sounds good.”

“I mean it, Virgil,” Mr. DeLuca says, reaching out to ruffle his hair, “if anyone ever says something like that to you again, I don’t care who it is. You come and you tell one of us, do you understand?”

“Mhm.”

“Good.”

“You…you really don’t mind me being in your classroom at the end of the day?”

“Of course not, sweetie.”

What the fuck—why are petnames happening? Oh, shit, I’m crying again. Oh, fuck, that’s why. Shit.

“It’s going to be okay,” Mr. DeLuca murmurs as he slides the tissue box back over, “everything’s going to be okay.”

Maybe…maybe yeah. Maybe it will. Maybe this day won’t be so bad after all.

Maybe this day is going to be pizza with his cool gay teachers. Maybe it’s going to be spending one period helping Mr. Dagenheart go through some of the old artwork from long-graduated students to decide what to put up on the wall and what to toss. Maybe it’s going to be spending the other with Mr. DeLuca who is secretly a big dorky goofball who likes bad math puns and the same science fiction TV shows that Virgil does.

Maybe today’s gonna be okay.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

#sanders sides #dragonbabbles #fic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #patton sanders #logan sanders

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rodolfoparras · 2 months

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I got a low score on my exam 😞 and I dropped my grade down like it's not my fault I'm dyslexic this is why I like math more it's easier. Also, I got a new doctor for now cause my doctor is on holiday and I don't like them I felt very off. Also is it weird that I'm scared to shave like I've always been big on hygiene and grooming is sort of big for me I'm more on the hairy side but I do trim not too much but enough but I'm scared to go anywhere near my private parts cause I'm scared I will get botched. Also, I kinda miss my dog Pongo it's very close to his death anniversary I miss the little pup. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing something wrong but I don't know what. I feel like I'm gonna be single forever sometimes I love both aspects of a relationship romantic and sexual but it is very hard for me to feel relief from the sexual aspect like I'm never satisfied which sucks I've never had many partners cause I'm more of an in it for the long run type of guy so I only ever had 2 partners and one of them was non-sexual cause we never reached that part. Not only that but I get sad cause I want to have a family of my own someday but I can't cause I like guys and guys can't get pregnant I also want to live on a nice farm or modern cabin someday while having an apartment or house in the city. But I have been going to the gym mainly to build muscle cause I used to be a twig.

- ❤️‍🔥

Sugar I am so sorry your grade dropped but please don’t beat yourself up! Dealing with dyslexia isn’t easy. I’ve always known what dyslexia is but it wasn’t until I was peer grading another classmates paper that I realized that y’all have it fucking hard.

When it comes to doctors I know it isn’t easy to pick and choose your health care professionals but I’d be like ok does this doctor listen to my needs does this doctor help me as long as those boxes are ticked that’s all it matters bc I assume you’ll only meet them limited amount of times? Either way just make sure the doc is doing their job

In terms of shaving there are tutorials on tiktok on how to shave down there I unfortunately didn’t save the video bc this was months ago but I know there’s a YouTuber who does shaving tutorials !!

He went viral for shaving his ass on camera but he genuinely gives good shaving / hygiene advice !

Is it okay to ask when pongo passed away? You see my moms death anniversary is March 28 and I’m sure she’ll happily arrange a party for him 😌

But the loss of a pet isn’t always easy and I know it’s not like losing a relative so I’m giving you all the kisses and hugs and wishing you sm strength and love!!!

The feeling about doing something wrong but not knowing what it is, it’s a very common feeling!! It can be that we have a lot of expectations and goals bubbling under the surface and it feels like we could be doing so much more but I’m genuinely not being cheesy when I say that being alive is enough like I promise you with everything in me

In terms of relationships,a tip I do have is to wait with the sex, yes you’re in it for the long haul but meet as many people as possible without trying to make it sexual

One day you’ll meet someone you click with and whatever you do will become so much more elevated because you’ve spent time getting to know each others likes and dislikes etc

Also sugar it’s very much possible nowadays for gay men to have a family! You can have surrogate you can adopt! There are so many ways!

Also you sound just like my dad his dream is to retire and live on the country side!

Also hello let’s go!! I’ve started going to the gym as well I even have a personal trainer to keep me accountable 😭

#alec answers #❤️‍🔥 anon

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froggywritesstuff · 2 years

Text

Nail Polish | Lams

Pairings: Alexander x John

Warnings: fluff, Gay Panic™, swearing

Time: modern

A/N: i need someone to paint my nails

Alexander's loud sighs were barely audible over the music playing through his headphones. He couldn't get the stupid nail polish on his right hand, and sighing was the only thing he could do about it.

'Stupid hands,' he thought, glaring at the black, sticky, mess around his finger nails, 'why can't people be left and right handed? Why do we only have one working hand? That's bullshit.'

He was meant to be studying, but one thing led to another, and attempting to paint his nails while listening to showtunes seemed like way more fun than stressing over the upcoming maths test.

For once, studying seemed like the easier task.

He didn't even notice his bedroom door open, letting someone walk inside and yoink the headphones off his head, "How's the studying going?"

Alex let out a yelp, whipping his head around to see John Laurens standing behind him, "What the fuck John? Wh-what are you doing here? How did you even get here?"

John shrugged, pursing his lips, "I wanted to talk to you, but your phone was on 'do not disturb' like it always is," he explained, rolling his eyes as he brought a chair beside Alex and sat down, "so I called Laf, and he told me I could come over and that you were just studying." he said, looking at the open nail polish and Alex's messily painted nails, "I see the studying is going well."

"Shut up, I was studying before. I just got bored." Alex mumbled.

"Sure..."

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked, attempting to hide the blush on his face at the possible answer he would get.

John shrugged, his gaze falling to his own fidgeting hands, "I dunno," he mumbled, "I mi- I was just bored and wanted to hang out with you."

"Oh," Alex muttered, his shoulders slumping in disappointment.

"But, I'm glad I did come, because I need to fix this mess," John added, a smile playing on his lips.

"What do you mean?"

"Your nails." he said simply, moving Alex's hand on the desk, and grabbing the nail polish, "Don't try and do your other hand by yourself, it's way too messy. You need someone else."

Alex's cheeks turned a bright shade of pink at the contact, before he stammered out, "John, y-you don't have to paint my nails. Thi-this was stupid of me anyway."

John pressed his lips into a thin line as he shook his head, "Sorry Alex, but once you've shown me the nail polish, and the mess you've made of nail polish, legally, by law, I have to help you."

Alex stared at John with a blank face, "'Legally by law' is it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Right." Alex sighed, nodding his head, "You can paint my nails if you really want."

John's smile broadened from ear to ear as he unscrewed the lid off the nail polish, and began painting Alex's nails.

While John was fixing up the mess Alex made, Alex was blushing insanely as John's hands softly rested against his. He had to remind himself over and over again: 'He's just a friend. You don't like him that way and neither does he. Snap out of it.'

"You ok, Alex?" John questioned, staring at Alexander who's eyes were looking everywhere but at John. Alex only hummed in response, taking his other hand to his face in an attempt to hide his blush, which didn't go as planned as John set the nail polish down and grabbed Alex's other hand, bringing it away from his face, letting John see his pink cheeks, “Alex, are you sure you’re ok?”

“Can I kiss you?”

‘That’s not ‘snapping out of it’!’

As soon as the words left Alex’s mouth, he slapped his hand over his mouth, his eyes widening in embarrassment.

“I-I’m so sorry-”

Before Alex could even begin to explain, John cupped his hands around Alex’s face, smashing his lips against his.

John pulled away, smiling at Alex’s flustered face, “If you apologise, I’m gonna ruin your nail polish even more.”

“I mean, if that’s what it takes to get you to hold my hand…"

buy me a coffee <3

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digestionsack · 2 years

Text

Mike’s Playlist Analysis: Part 2 (The Holy Shit Songs)

1: “When Love Breaks Down” by Prefab Sprout, Thomas Dolby

Aaaaaand even just reading, my spidey-sense went berserk. Mike has not been canonically confirmed to be in love with Will (although we all know it), so this could not possibly be about him. I’m fact, the only relationship, romantic or platonic or familial that Mike has on the show that puts such an emphasis on the word “love” is his relationship with El. So I had a feeling this might be about them, but I expected it to be slightly vague. And then I heard the lyrics. And then my head exploded.

“My love and I, we work well together/But often we're apart/Absence makes the heart lose weight, yeah/Till love breaks down, love breaks down”—Hmmm…since Mike has been deemed the heart this season, I latched onto the line with that word. “The heart [losing] weight” implies that this is on Mike’s end (of course, since this is his playlist), which leads to the next line—love breaking down. “Losing weight” to me implies that gradual loss of love. Damn. Not trying to be subtle, are we?

“When love breaks down/The things you do/To stop the truth from hurting you”—Damn. Dayum. Isn’t this what we’ve all been saying? Mike is defensive and evasive—we’ve seen that come out a lot over the past few seasons, and it’s always been a part of his character. He’s security-oriented, initially opposed to new things. He’s afraid of instability—and his relationship with El provides him with that stability. He doesn’t want to accept that maybe their relationship is not what’s best for him or her. Because maybe that would force him to accept another truth about himself…wink wink. He’s desperate to hold onto his relationship with El—not only because it provides him with that stability, but because he is afraid of losing her for good if he breaks up with her (they have been through too much together for that to happen, but it’s a valid fear). He doesn’t want to accept the fact that their romantic love and relationship are breaking down. He doesn’t want to accept the fact that he and El are fundamentally incompatible. He doesn’t want to accept the truth. Oh yeah. The math is mathing.

“When love breaks down/The lies we tell/They only serve to fool ourselves”—Oh come on. Oh come on. Do I even need to explain???? The monologue. “You never say it.” “I say it.” Yet more evidence of Mike’s evasiveness. Mike is trying to fool himself, hide from the truth and lie his way to security. We’ll see how well this works in S5…

2: “Don’t You Want Me” by The Human League

Okay, so I was hearing a lot about this song when everyone in the Byler tag was freaking out because they changed the version of the song on Mike’s playlist (the “gay pride” album cover to the original one). People seemed to lose hope, or say that the reason they changed the versions was to make the gay implications of the song less obvious. And I kind of agree with the second point. But what a lot of people seem to be dancing around is the fact that this song is on Steve’s playlist as well. Bylers noticed this long ago, but I haven’t seen anyone share their opinion on why Mike and Steve have the same song on their playlists (correct me if someone has; I just personally haven’t read any analyses on this). But after listening to the song and analyzing the lyrics, I think I’ve finally managed to articulate my take on why this is. Let’s look at the lyrics:

“You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar/When I met you/I picked you out, I shook you up/And turned you around/Turned you into someone new/Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet/Success has been so easy for you/But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now/And I can put you back down too”—Okay, so some of these lyrics are a bit more bitter than I’d like, but I think this is El from Mike’s POV. This is him directly acknowledging that she doesn’t need him anymore—not in the way she did in S1 when she was acclimating to the world outside the lab. She’s a different person than she was, and she’s growing and developing into a healthier, more independent person. I don’t think Mike is this bitter—if anything, from him speaking to Will in the van scene, I’d say he’s more afraid of El not needing him anymore than bitter about it. But the point still stands.

“Don't. Don't you want me?/You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me/Don't. Don't you want me?/You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me”—Again, I don’t think the bitterness lines up completely, but I think these lyrics raise the question of “want” versus “need.” The lyrics state that, although the narrator seems sure that the person still needs them (if we’re going to line this up with Mike, I’d call it denial), they don’t know if this person wants them. I think that’s a very important distinction to make here, that difference between needing someone and wanting someone.

“It's much too late to find/When you think you've changed your mind/You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry”—I think this is definitely foreshadowing a Mordor breakup, with El initiating it. She’s going to put her foot down, but Mike’s not going to want to take it, especially after that monologue. He’s going to try to hang on a bit more, but I think El will remain firm (her strength when it comes to letting things that are hurting her go has been showcased in S4 when she leaves Brenner).

“I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar/That much is true/But even then I knew I'd find a much better place/Either with or without you/The five years we have had have been such good at times/I still love you/But now I think it's time I lived my life on my own/I guess it's just what I must do”—I think this is from El’s point of view and goddamn…this is so healthy. This is giving “amicable El-initiated breakup” vibes and I am LOVING it. She is acknowledging their history and their love for each other but saying that being in a romantic relationship is just not good for her. 100% my favorite verse in this song. LOVE IT.

…And as for why this song is on both Mike’s and Steve’s playlists. I saw a lot of people panicking and not as much recently, but for those of you who are still worried about this—don’t be. Yes, I think them changing the album cover of this song on the playlist was to make it less obvious. But when all is said and done, looking at the lyrics, this song has nothing to do with Mike’s sexuality (although I do think it’s a nice added bonus that it’s on so many gay pride playlists). This song is about people who have been together discovering that being in a romantic relationship with one another isn’t the best thing for them. One of them might try to save the relationship out of fear or desperation or a lack of stability in their life. But when I think of this song, I think the main message is “I love you. And we’ve had a good go of it. But I think we need to do what’s best for both of us and let this go so we can both move on.” And that’s why I think this is on Steve’s playlist. I wholeheartedly believe that Steve fell back on pursuing Nancy due to feeling lost in life. Season 3, he was pursuing Robin—but that didn’t end up working out romantically. And Steve does love Nancy—how that love has evolved over time is something that requires more analysis. And I really do believe that Nancy loves Steve—even if it’s never been romantic. But in the end, in my humble opinion, they simply aren’t compatible. Every time Steve was talking about his “six nuggets house with white picket fence” dreams, it was the writers trying to tell us that they aren’t compatible. Nancy is ambitious and won’t let anything stand in the way of her dreams. She’s seen how the end-of-the-cul-de-sac life has negatively impacted her mother, and she doesn’t want that for herself—even though Steve is obviously a much better person than Ted. Again, I don’t doubt that Nancy and Steve love each other. But they need different things in life, and I hope S5 will acknowledge that. And you see this reflected in Mike and El too—they love each other and care about each other deeply, but we’ve been shown again and again that they don’t work romantically. And I hope that one of the messages of S5 will be “it’s okay if it doesn’t work out romantically—that doesn’t automatically destroy your love.”

3: “Mad World” by Tears for Fears

*Trigger warning: mentions of suicide and poor mental health*

This song being on Mike’s playlist…genuinely concerns me. I know we’ve analyzed Mike’s behavior throughout the series and figured out that he shows symptoms of poor mental health, but this song really hammers that down for me. Let’s check out the lyrics (buckle up folks):

“All around me are familiar faces/Worn out places, worn out faces/Bright and early for the daily races/Going nowhere, going nowhere”—Nancy is the only one of the Wheeler kids who has outwardly acknowledged her parents’ problems and her problems with this “nuclear family” image. Mike hasn’t acknowledged it vocally or shown any indication that he understands what’s going on in his family. But this verse makes me think that he is very much aware of it—or at least he will be very soon. It calls attention to the monotony of this kind of life, and I think this might be brought up as one of Mike’s fears in S5. We know that Nancy doesn’t want this life, and I don’t think Mike does either. Maybe one of his fears that will be focused on in S5 will be repeating his parents’ mistakes and getting trapped in that life. I mean, we’ve all seen how Mike and Ted wear similar clothing…wow, this is loud.

“Their tears are filling up their glasses/No expression, no expression/Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow/No tomorrow, no tomorrow”—Damn, that’s…bleak. This is definitely referencing Mike’s home life, how there is that emotional distance and coldness and how everyone has up walls. This is really hammering down the whole “Mike is well practiced in hiding his feelings” message. We only get his true thoughts and emotions when he’s with Will (and even then, we’re not getting the full picture). We (or at least the general audience) have no clue what the fuck is going on in this guy’s head since S2–because S2 was really the last time we got a huge chunk of the show in his perspective. When it’s written from the perspective of someone else? We get zip. He’s literally been bottling up his feelings for two seasons—likely much longer. An emotional breakdown is in order…we’ll see if S5 does this justice.

“And I find it kind of funny/I find it kind of sad/The dreams in which I'm dying/Are the best I've ever had/I find it hard to tell you/I find it hard to take/When people run in circles it's a very, very/Mad world, mad world”—Whoa whoa whoa. See, this is why this song being on his playlist scared the living hell out of me. These lines have a crazy amount of suicidal implications. We know at this point that Mike feels useless when he’s not needed. He wants to be the protector. He wants to be needed. He at once has an inferiority complex and a savior complex. And that makes him way too willing to die. You see that especially when he jumps off a cliff into literal certain death (before El saves him) to save Dustin. And that scares me. We already know that his probability of being Vecna’d next season is crazy fucking high. If Vecna uses this inferiority complex against Mike…oh god, that’ll be hard to watch.

“Children waiting for the day they feel good/Happy birthday, happy birthday/And I feel the way that every child should/Sit and listen, sit and listen”—Yet another nod to the monotony of societal norms. The way kids are supposed to suck it up and “grow up”—to be appeasing to adults in order to get the happiness they deserve. There are a couple of songs in this playlist that are nods to Mike not wanting to grow up; to stay a kid. In another one of these song analyses, I mentioned how that confirms that Mike was projecting in that rain fight (“we’re not kids anymore.” “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”).

“Went to school and I was very nervous/No one knew me, no one knew me/Hello, teacher! Tell me, what's my lesson?/Look right through me, look right through me”—I listened to this song a couple of weeks ago, before I started analyzing this playlist. I already knew it was on Mike’s playlist, but I didn’t start really paying attention until these lyrics popped up. Because it reminded me a lot of the shed scene in S2. To me, the first two lines seem to be a reference to Will and their meeting on the swings. “Look right through me?” Hmmm, it almost sounds like you’re hiding something…And this is maybe a nod to the fact that Mike and Will just know each other that well. Complicated feelings and miscommunication in S3-4 aside, Mike can always tell when Will is hurting or needs help. And Will always knows that he can go to Mike for help and Mike won’t treat him differently. Damn, it’s all coming together…

4: “Telephone Operator” by Pete Shelley

Bro, all this time we’ve been talking about how Mike was actually trying to call Will in California but couldn’t get through because the line was always busy and nobody brought up the fact that this song is literally on Mike’s playlist? This song basically confirms that y’all were right???!?!? Lyrics, go!

“Telephone operator/Why can't I see you later/Telephone operator/Why can't I see you later/Tell me is it wine/That makes things so fine/Or is it 'cos you're mine”—ROMANTIC AS SHIT! And we know how Mike couldn’t possibly have been using the phone to call El, since the government was tracking the phones and she’s supposed to be in hiding. He never once mentions calling her—he hasn’t called her since S3, and in that phone call, he lied to her about Nana being dead. No, instead we get the fight between Will and Mike about Mike not calling. Not El. Will. THIS SONG IS ABOUT WILL!

“Telephone operator/You're my aural stimulator/Telephone operator/Ne c'est pas la raison d'etre/Tell me is it love/That I feel because/You're all I'm thinking of”—Again: THIS IS HELLA ROMANTIC! Joyce having a new telemarketing job. “Mike won’t stop whining about it.” THE MATH IS MATHING.

“Telephone operator/Phone you up an hour later/Telephone operator/Phoned you up an hour later/Tell me is it love/That I'm in because/I'm only thinking of you”—BOOM! Confirms that Mike was in fact trying to repeatedly call will only to have to line blocked. Can’t even believe this is on Mike’s playlist. Duffers are insane for this.

5: Machine Age Voodoo” by Spk

Y’all, Mike is getting so Vecna’d next season you don’t even know. Observe:

“Put your shoulder to the wheel/Use your muscle, nerves of steel/Strike it hot, make a hit/Beat the livin' out of it”—I’m thinking giant battle against Vecna S5! Mike’s gonna be in the final battle, y’all. This will be absolutely epic and I can’t wait 😜

“Feel the power in your soul/Feel the rhythm in your bones/Raise the pulse are you ready/To let your body go”—Whoa there pal…you had me up until “let your body go.” Could that mean what I think it does? Could this hint at Mike getting Vecna’d, I wonder?

“Feel the magic of the dance/Let your mind slip in a trance/Everybody everybody get together/In ritual celebration”—Hehehehehe WHAT. Damn, Duffers, don’t be too blatant or anything…A mention of the mind slipping into a trance? Trance? TRANCE? Oh yeah. Mike is getting so hella Vecna’d next season it’s not even funny. If he doesn’t, after this song, after the buildup of us not knowing what the fresh fuck is going on in that boy’s head for over two seasons, I will be confused. I will be genuinely baffled.

“Feel the power in your soul/Feel the rhythm in your bones/Raise the pulse are you ready/To let your body go”—I wonder if this could hint to Mike hearing music (“rhythm in your bones”) and pulling on inner strength to fight off the trance (“feel the power in your soul”). Might be far-fetched, but I’m also wondering if “raising the pulse” could be another heart reference (if Mike is the heart here). Another hint to him getting out alive? I hope so…

6: “Every Day is Halloween” by Ministry

Okay, so I was initially very happy that we got not one, but two references to Halloween on Mike’s playlist. My guess is that it’s his favorite holiday, but the Byler implications…*cough crazy together cough.* That was before I looked at the lyrics—and goddamn, the implications run way deeper than just Halloween…

“'Cause to me everyday is Halloween/I have given up hiding and started to fight/I have started to fight”—Hmmm, a lot of songs on this playlist have mentioned “stop hiding/running away”and “face the truth.” And fight against what, one might ask? Societal pressures and norms? Internalized homophobia? Who’s to say…

“Oh, why can't I live a life for me?/Why should I take the abuse that's served/Why can't they see they're just like me/It's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world”—Wow, that’s…incredibly queercoded, right? I’m not the only one seeing this? Not only the queercoding, but also the “why can’t I live a life for me” line. I mentioned (when I talked about “Mad World”) that I think Mike either is or will become aware of the effects of social pressures and norms on his family, and he is afraid of falling into that trap. This line makes me think of “It’s My Life,” another song on Mike’s playlist. The lyrics kind of stumped me, but the title tells its own story.

“Well, I let their teeny minds think/That they're dealing with someone who is over the brink/And I dress this way just to keep them at bay/'Cause Halloween is everyday, hey”—I wonder if the intention of including this song was using Halloween as a metaphor for a weapon against widespread homophobia. I feel like D&D has kind of become this metaphor as well—not necessarily just against homophobia, but the whole party uses the game as a fantastical escape from the prejudices of the outside world. Also, Mike Wheeler self-acceptance arc WHEN???

“I'm not the one that's so absurd/(Why can't I live a life for me? Oh) Why hide it? Why fight it?/(No! Why should I?) Hurt feelings, best to stop feeling hurt/From denials (oh), reprisals/It's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world”—Again…hella queercoded. “Why hide it?” “Denials?” “Best to stop feeling hurt?” Definitely a nod to Mike having those emotional walls up. Wow. Just…this song. On his playlist. The guts. No more words for this. Just my applause.

7: “Make No Mistake” by Psyche

I hope y’all were looking for more proof that Mike is going to have an emotional breakdown next season, because you’ve got it. This song is also another big chunk of evidence suggesting that Mike gets Vecna’d in S5.

“Got to drop the pressure/Get on the right train/Forget the payback system/That ain’t no way to gain”—This is making me think that Mike will learn to let go of societal pressures in S5 and realize that trying to conform will not get him anywhere. Hmmm, “getting on the right train” making me think that he will end up going in the right direction, and it’s also another nod to the “running away” motif…

“Feeling out of sorts/Don’t want to let it end/I feel like I’m overloading/You got me down on my knees/I want to pull the trigger/But I can’t find the release”—Oh hell yeah, this is giving extreme “Mike Wheeler Emotional Breakdown” vibes and I’m absolutely LOVING it. I can’t believe this is actually on his playlist; y’all have been saying this for MONTHS! I notice the use of second person here (“you got me down on my knees”) and of course my biased Byler ass is going to assume it’s about Will—but don’t worry, I have proof this time. Wait until the end to find out…

“You’d better stay out of sight”—This reminds me of both Max hiding behind a gravestone in the Vecna trance in the cemetery and Will hiding from the Demogorgon (or possibly Vecna) in the UD in S1. Again the use of second person (presumably Will) making me think that this might have something to do with Vecna and Mike wanting to keep this person safe.

“When they’re knocking on your door/Look around the corner/They’re rotten to the core”—I’m thinking this is about Vecna (because of the previous verse), but it could also easily be a metaphor for heteronormativity and societal homophobia.

“Waiting in the dark/Nowhere to hide/Try to hold your hands/The fear at its side”—This kind of reminds me of the cabin scene and Mike reaching out to Will’s light from his patch of darkness. If that scene is foreshadowing (which we all strongly suspect it is), what are the implications for S5? I think this is alluding to Mike getting Vecna’d and reaching out for Will, especially with the “nowhere to hide” and “the fear at its side” lines.

“Feel it coming your way now/Riding in the light/Ain’t no escape”—Oooooh, I see another reference to light. “Riding in the light” sounding like Max’s “hiding in the light…” Will being bathed in sunlight during his heart-to-hearts with Mike…

I mean, if I’m being honest, this analysis could have gone in Part 1, if it weren’t for “Breakdown” by Tom Petty being on Will’s playlist. If the title alone wasn’t enough to make you do a double-take, observe the lyrics:

“It's alright if you love me/It's alright if you don't/I'm not afraid of you running away/Honey, I get the feeling, you won't”

“There is no sense in pretending/Your eyes give you away/Something inside you is feeling like I do/We've said all there is to say”

“Baby/Breakdown, go ahead, give it to me/Breakdown, honey take me through the night/Breakdown, now I'm standing here, can you see?/Breakdown, it's alright”

I’m sorry…WHAT THE FUCK? This is NOT giving “sad gay boy in love with his straight best friend trope” vibes. Fuck no. This is giving “beautiful requited love” vibes!!! And again I say, damn, spoil the entirety of S5 why dontcha? This song matches too well with the song on Mike’s playlist—don’t try and tell me that wasn’t intentional! Duffers are lowkey crazy for this.

8: “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat

Don’t even need to explain ❤️ 🏳️‍🌈

(But if you’re new to the tag and haven’t been exposed to this song feel free to ask!)

#byler #byler analysis #mike wheeler

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cassifiction · 2 years

Note

Could I request Jinx x a nerdy mage s/o please?

I’ve seen this request before but I didn’t read whatever fic or headcanons went with it, haha. I’m gonna put my D&D knowledge to the test here. I hope this is what you were looking for.

Send me requests!

Jinx x nerdy mage reader (g/n, sfw)

-> next request: none, requests are still open though

Because of your different interests, the relationship between you and Jinx is something quite special. She’s more into tech and science and you’re always working on practicing and mastering your magical skills.

The thing that unites you however is that you’re both always trying to improve your talents in the little niches you’ve carved out for yourselves. Neither you nor Jinx know many other people in your respective fields, so you rely on each other a lot whenever you need help.

Whenever one of Jinx’s gadgets needs testing, you become her target dummy. No y/n’s are ever harmed, though.

Whenever you needed a test subject for a new spell you have been working on, Jinx becomes your guinea pig. You made sure she knew that the chance you would accidentally turn her purple was low. But not zero percent. Maybe twenty. Or fifty.

You’ve got a bit of a math teacher/history teacher dynamic going on. You pretend not to be interested in each other’s expertise, but everyone knows you secretly talk about it all the time in the breakroom. And everyone knows you’re dating, even though you try, and fail, to keep it a secret.

Jinx is obsessed with your magical skills. She thinks it’s SO cool that you can cast spells and seemingly manipulate reality itself. Not many people in Zaun have skills like that, so that makes it all extra special. And on top of that, this fantastic mythical person is also her s/o? Brilliant. Amazing.

Every day she asks for updates on your work, she wants to know every new amazing thing you can do. Even if it’s something as simple as lighting a candle by shooting sparks from your finger.

You like to hang out together while you both work on your things. Jinx would be at her desk working on her latest invention while you would sit in a comfy chair nearby reading and old spell book.

Sometimes you’re too busy with your research to really pay attention to your girlfriend, but that’s not a problem to Jinx. She knows how it all matters to you, so she’s happy to just be nearby and listen to some music while you work. It’s all good as long as she can be near you.

She likes to sneak up on you from behind and hug you while you’re reading.

You try and enchant items for Jinx to use in her projects. She’s especially fond of any mechanical parts that glow different colors in the dark. Good for use in rainbow bombs. Diversity win, the bomb that just blew up your mailbox was gay 🏳‍🌈

Jinx likes to scour the Undercity’s marketplaces and rummage through old abandoned buildings in search of books and scrolls for you to study. Sometimes she finds incredibly rare items without even realizing. You always make sure that she knows just how much that means to you.

She will brag to everyone who will listen about how cool her s/o is. How much you appreciate that is up to you..

Sometimes she’ll asks you to cast some simple spells while you’re cuddling or kissing. It just feels really special to her to hold her s/o close while there are little lights dancing in the sky around you both.

Or when sparks are literally flying. You think it’s kind of cheesy, but it’s her absolute favorite spell to request when she’s about to kiss you.

Notes: mages are rad, I should play as one some time. In D&D I always end up playing rogues, even when I DM my NPC’s are hardly ever mages.

#arcane #arcane fanfic #arcane jinx #jinx #jinx arcane #jinx x y/n #jinx x reader #jinx x you #arcane headcanon #request #requests

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sapphicjigsaw · 4 months

Note

the scary jokes..... arent jokes supposed to be funny not scary (interested in knowing what this is)

OOOOOOOOOOHHHOHHOHOOOO

The lesbianism beam is charging up.

Ok so The Scary Jokes is a band (1 transgender and a dream) who describes their sound as “indie bedroom synthpop” which means nothing because genres are fake and don’t mean anything BUT the music is very good. It’s kind of beep boopy and very gay and I really love how their voice sounds in the quite minimal production of the first 3 albums.

If you want to start with them I would recommend listening to BURN PYGMALION!!!!!! A Better Guide to Romance. Listening to albums front to back is my preferred way to listen generally but even if it’s not for you I’d highly recommend front to back because OF THE REALLY GOOD MUSICAL PACING. I will die for this album this album is my religion this album is the one album I will never stop preaching about. Its sounds fuckifn incredible and has songwriting designed to maximize the desire to be a lesbian werewolf and claw and bite into someone. It’s a narrative album about the relationship between Sylvia, an up and coming movie star, and Jeanine, a journalist who has been working to boost Sylvia’s career. They are both dealing with shit from past relationships and are insane in different ways (Jeanine is obsessed) and it all goes bad. The pov of the songs switches a lot and honestly it’s probably better if you just listen for the music and the feeling the first time through but you got me on my autism and it’s not slowing down. The tracks hop from slow and kind of angsty too teeth rottingly fluffy with a distinct feeling that everything is about to go wrong to a series of knife twists that leave me feral every time. There’s so few songs that communicate the ache, the need, the kind request to be seen and heard and the terrible hunger it hides, the tired anger, the feeling of spiraling as well as the tracks on this album.

I love the album so much and to pick favorites from it is genuinely hard. Sylvia’s just a dying is incredible, it sounds like falling through an anxiety void filled with glitter and the knife twisting lyrics being punctuated with “after all I’m just a friend” HERRREGGHGFGGGV IM CRAZY IM CRAZY. Pygmalion makes me want to tear into someone more than I already do and Starstruck is the ultimate kicking my feet and giggling I’m going to explode song. Admire the Architecture is short but it sounds so good and the lyrics are very focused on the narrative and it really draws you into the characters for the consecutive series of gut punches that is the back half of the album. No Leverage/No Pleasure oh my god oh my GOD, if you listen to nothing else listen to this PLEASE. THIS SONG IS THE HUNGER, IT IS SUCH INTENSE LOVE AND DESIRE THAT YOU ARE SO CONSUMED YOU CAN DO NOTHING BUT CONSUME. Crushed Out on Soda Beach makes me cry. It’s an apology, it’s defeat, it’s beautiful and it’s only a start but it is a start and whatever brought us here is gone. And then the floating away with Bets against the void. HHHHRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS GOOD. THE LESBAINS!!!!!!

There’s also 3 OTHER ALBUMS which are also VERY GOOD. April Fools is their most popular project (you may have heard the track Icicles from it) it is not narrative and not about a specific relationship but it’s a lot of SAPPHIC AND TRANSGENDER HARD TIMES. If you listen to it I would highly recommend the 2021 version simply because of the fuller sound and slight refinements. It is full of bangers with Blood from the Concrete, Catabolic Seed, and Night at the movies being my personal favorite. I’d highly recommend this album to anyone who likes Burn Pygmalion!!!!!! A Better Guide to Romance or people who listen to both Toby Fox and Mitski.

Bad at math is their first project and much more low key and personal. All of the songs are quite hit or miss, my personal favorites are Poison Ivy and Hold Yourself Tight. Retinal Bloom is their most recent project, it sounds good but the production kid of puts the lyrics in the background in a way I like less. It’s much more soundscape focused and does that well but it’s not my personal taste.

I have MORE INFORMATION if WANTED but I need to COLLAPSE AND SLEEP NOW GOOD NIGHT MWAH

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tubborucho · 1 year

Text

The Quotebook

I already posted half of those quotes once, but there’s more now AND I learned how to do read more.

Most of the quotes are from different mcyt, but there’s also a couple of other people like CallMeKevin, Steven Suptic, Insym, Jacksepticeye, Gabby, etc.

Current quotes count: 431

Some of the quotes may be a bit different from the original, but it’s hard to type them out while it’s a livestream

1. “Oh it looks different in the darkness! Like a glow stick!” Ranboo

2. “Just killed a woman, feeling good” Tommy

3. “I am not mad, I am just disappointed in everything you are” Tommy

4. “Even if i started as a gaslighter, I ended as a girlboss, and that is what matter” Tommy

5. “No one except me put my life in danger, but yet i still do” Tommy

6. “I lost, but to be fair, i also cheated” Tommy

7. “I am my own girlfriend” Tommy

8. “I have a gun and no will to live. Let’s see what will happen” Tommy, playing minecraft

9. “Scott doesn’t like my russian dancing???” Tubbo

10. “I think I am fine just russian dancing, baby!” Tubbo

11. “I haven’t got a time to lose” Tommy

12. “If you don’t like the rules, you shouldn’t be in Wyoming” Tommy

13. “I think psychological war is a key to all relationships” Tommy

14. “Sorry, you couldn’t talk to me, I was too busy being alpha” Wilbur

15. “She drops her wings like guillotine” Wilbur

16. “Tubbo maybe love America. But I only love things that are real. Like Jesus” Wilbur

17. “I will give you advice. No matter how you look, no matter who or where you are. QUIT YOUR JOB! And then start a company! And quit it too! There’s not enough quitters in the world” Tommy

19. “If we all build a bomb and then combine it, we can finally get rid of America!” Tommy

20. “Will, I am dipped again” Tommy

21. “We need mud more than ever” Tommy

22. “We’re dumpenning the glam” Tommy

23. “I’m the only cock round here” Tommy

24. “Get birthed, bitch. Enjoy pregnancy, you fuck” Tommy

25. “Thing about friends is that they all gonna leave you. So you should leave them first” Tommy

26. “If Georgenotfound was a mouse, Schlatt would be a rat” Tommy

27. “‘I can't block clutch that’ is what I said when my marriage was failing” Tommy

28. “Who these axolotl fucks and why are they getting more attention than me?” Tommy

29. “Oh, this zombie found a food. But I am a food” Tommy

30. “Let me find my own battles” Tommy

31. “I got this boat still, I am optimising on it” Tommy

32. “The wind is truly cooking up on my sail” Tommy

33. “There’s a thing, Phil. I overcame death” Tommy

34. “Everyone dies in their own unique and wonderful way” Tommy

35. “Tubbo is such an only child” Tommy

36. “I crave manipulation” Tommy

37. “I’m gatekeeping right now pretty hard, ngl” Sneeg

38. “Would’ve start serious dming Tubbo” Tommy

39. “I lost my phone, I think I dropped it in the shower and never picked it up” Tubbo

40. Tommy: You didn’t explain me the game!

Tubbo: Well, explaining only works when you listen

Tommy: Mememem look at me, I am Tubbo, I am smart

41. “C’mon, king, take Pakistan, you deserve this” Tubbo

42. Tubbo: I think it’s everyone’s game except for Tommy.

Tommy, chuckling: Thanks, man. Iran will remember that.

43. “You lecturning me” Tommy, to the Villager

44. "It's not about the people you mend along the way, it's about- it's about you know, the fact that when- 'cause you're gonna die, the fact that when you die, you're not- you're not alone" - TommyInnit, 2022.

45. “I am wearing a Tubbo hoodie. I am wearing a Tubbo hoodie. I am wearing a Tubbo hoodie. Tubbo moment, Tubbo moment” Tommy

46. “Guys, I am currently your uncomfortable streamer, because I am completely discomforted” Tommy

47. “‘Streamer has morals’? Just know I can turn them off. I can and I will” Tubbo

48. “As a civilization, would we benefit from Tommyinnit not being able to swim?” Wilbur

49. “I will not add something like that to my kingdom. Too much math. And I am gay, I can’t do maths” Scott S Smajor

50. “I don't know how you expect us to live laugh love in these conditions” Scott S Smajor

51. “Only Tubbo would go ‘I’ve been craving ability of changing probability recently’” Tommy

52. “But only if it’s cute. If it’s not… I’d rather live dangerously” Scott S Smajor

53. "Gatekeep, Gaslight, and Girlboss, Cleo. That's the 3 Gs of this series. You want to gatekeep the resources, you want to gaslight the other players, and you want to girlboss by winning" Scott S Smajor

54. “I am gatekeeping gates now! No one gets in!” Scott S Smajor

55. "I already came out, it was a few years ago Pearl. It was a hard time” Scott S Smajor

56. “I encourage milfs and dilfs to watch my streams” Tommy

57. “My job in this group is to make it extremely gay” Scott

58. “Who cares. I care” Tubbo

59. “You know, sometimes I really don’t know how I got this far in life” Jimmy

60. “Please don't put a bomb in it if you ever give me a gift either, i don't like bombs” Tommy

61. “If your brother calls you an idiot, you should say ‘Shut up bitch’” Foolish

62. “The thing is: my game is never over, it’s only started” Tommy

63. “You used to be about water courses and Georgenotfound” Wilbur

64. “It’s not about the noise, it’s about the journey” Tommy

65. “We sacrificed two more people to the hardcore world” Joel Smallishbeans

66. “Big spiky hips. That’s what I look for in a woman” Wilbur

67. “Never put your fucking jizz and cum in the corner bitch” Jack Manifold

68. “I can feel myself melting down. I’m like a Chernobyl now” Tubbo

69. “What people did? Invented anime and war. Let’s eat people” Tommy

70. “Beckyamon, I take back all my thoughts about you I didn’t say outloud” Tommy

71. “You know? I all for equality, but I draw a line on eating people” Tubbo

72. “I remember losing my kidney virginity” Tommy

73. “Minding my business, I had a hay in my mouth. What can I say? I am a man of culture. So…” Tubbo

74. “I don’t think you should take eyeballs from strangers” GeminiTay

75. “Me too, king. I’m glad we can hang out like the old and gays… WAIT, I didn’t mean to say old and gays, it just kinda came out! Sorry… Well, they came out too.” Jack Manifold

76. “Philza Minecraft don’t do mercy. He also doesn’t do Geneva Convention” Tubbo

77. “An Irishmen never trust anyone who can make tea in the dark” Jacksepticeye

78. "I sucked Fundy... I'm sure he'll appreciate that” 5up

79. "A bunch of f*cking idiots... and then 5up" Sleepy

80. “Sometimes i get in the shower with socks on to prove a point” Tubbo

81. “I like it when girl uses my own voice” Tommy

82. “You know I was pretending that I am bad at the game. But now when we are at 3 game, I can go all on” Connor

83. “I’m not the bigger person.. and I will never be the bigger person. but my god, will I be the louder person” Tubbo

84. “Guys, I guess my demons are coming out, Ive been threatening to fight a viewer for the past 5 minutes” Connor

85. “I can find something to complain about, give me 45 seconds” Connor

86. “Why would they make a game on any mechanic after 1.8” Connor

87. "I'm just a realist. It's not mean, some people would call it being real" DK

88. Tina: Apollo, why did you run away from this?

DumbDog: Cause I’m a bad bitch

89. “Tomatoes are strange creatures. I don’t trust them. I trust tomatoes about as far as I can throw them, which I suppose is a lot. Maybe that was a bad analogy” Foolish

90. “Am i a fruit? Am i a carb? No, I’m definitely a protein!” Foolish

91. “I’d be the guy in the apocalypse whose always chewing gum” Foolish

92. “See most people have boring merch, like shirts and hoodies. I’m gonna sell you guys dictionaries” Foolish

93. “I was stacking sand like an animal!” Foolish

94. “If anything, I underthink” Foolish

95. “I’m like a dolphin, or a shark... whatever drinks water” Foolish

96. “It’s good to have some muffins before kicking ass” Foolish

97. “If I was born in 98' what actually am I? Am I a gemini... or a millenial?..” Foolish

98. “Charity is never easy” Smallishbeans

99. “Why must I be in pain for simply just exiting” Tina

100. “Raft is like a game of chess. Sophisticated, yet modest” Tommy

101. “Patience is a virtue of a man” Tommy

102. “Plastic comes in so many shapes and sizes. It never fails to amaze me” Tommy

103. “I am just taking a moment to take it all in” Tommy

104. “I don’t need a sail when I have optimism” Tommy

105. “I hope I didn’t fail 5up here. I know how much he likes playing video games” Steven Suptic

106. “It’s like those american schools you have, with guns!” Tubbo

107. “You’re trying to tell me that Skeppy exists, and I don’t believe it” Tubbo

108. “People are dying over there, and I am looking at my storage” Tommy

109. Tommy: Sex kills!

Tubbo: And my god, it is morally wrong

110. “I got so much blood coming from my ears because of you” Tubbo

111. Tommy: Guys, I think I am happiest I’ve ever been right now.

Tubbo: I am so sorry, get well soon.

112. “We need to be well-rounded individuals, if we gonna shoot people and feel good about that” Tommy

113. “I don’t speak bicycle” JSchlatt

114. “You have to trust me, it’s you” DK

115. "I haven't seen 5up all round, maybe he's the killer" Koji says, when 5up was already dead the round before

116. “How do you defeat something which you cannot kill? How, how do you defeat something that cannot die? It’s simple...You take away things that it cherishes, one by one, until it wishes that it was dead.

That’s how you kill an unkillable god:

By making it want to die.” BadBoyHalo, on having his house moved to Ohio

117. “I think eyes are overrated” Eret

118. “Man I speak horse! [NEIGH] Learned that from a horse girl back in high school” BoomerNA

119. “Well, I take no responsibility for that. Unless you are happy with outcome. Then I take all responsibility for that” Scott

120. “I am a constant risk to my own safety” Tubbo

121. “WHAT?! I didn't- I don't- this was never-. IM NOT INTO YOU TUBBO. I'm not. Not in "that way". Sorry if that makes things Cringe but no where was that implied. Sure, you're Fresh as Fuck but not in a way that I just think you've read into this too much” Tommy, because Tubbo said that he doesn’t want to sleep with him

122. “We need to start spreading hate” Tommy

123. “Thats it, im spreading hate” Tommy

124. “That’s a beginners talk, and for that you will receive a penalty” Steve

125. Koji: Hey, Dumbdog, any congratulations for me?

Dumbdog: Absolutely not...

126. “Eat a giant pile of shut the fuck up” Bob

127. "When I look at your eyes... They're both.... Eyes" Wade

128. “‘What is money if not an obstacle’. And that’s a Steve quote for my life, I will take it to the grave” Steve

129. “You think it’s gonna get me, Koji? I am impenetrable. Koji, I can’t penetrate-slash-never’ve been penetrated” Steve

130. “It looks like a ca-HAT-strophe” Steve

131. “I am glad we came to a decider that it isn’t gonna be me” Ellum

132. “He has such a low impact that everyone is just disregarding him” Steve

133. “Feel free to respect me” Tommy

134. “Chat, I think this whole thing has got very out of hand. All I want to do is sit and eat polaroid photos” Tommy

135. “I’m gonna go vegan in rage” Tommy

136. “I am perfect. I am absolutely perfect” George

137. “I want more of me and less of anyone else” Tommy

138. “The master of Among Us, dude?? You not even a peasant of Among Us!” Steve

139. “Sorry, didn’t know you are out to silence my free will” Tommy

140. “I can simply porn act and pretend there’s a bomb on me” 5up

141. “I would fuck a tory, but I wouldn’t get fucked by a tory” Wilbur

142. “He says big words to basically say nothing. And I know that, because I am good at that” 5up

143. “hello streamer, did you know that if you use a bucket of water and place it just before you land you can negotiate fall damage” the Jims (5up’s chat)

144. “It’s like Jesus. My favourite Disney princess” Scott

145. “I’ve never felt more like an animal in my life” 5up

146. “I like red little birds. They fill me with happiness and joy” Tubbo

147. “Every second Grian is only getting closer” Phil

148. “So I decided to block out the sun!“ Oli

149. “Oh no, my one weakness… being weak!” Lizzie

150. “Me and Ranboo were roleplaying that I was gifting him a rat” Wilbur

151. “I’ll have to horoscope all over the place” Wilbur

152. “No one’s as alive as me” Tubbo

153. “A minecraft bird cant fly with two left wings” Wilbur

154. “She’s a FREAK, but a fun freak in that” Tommy

155. “There was still like milk to milk from a minion cash cow” Seamus

156. "You never realise how long a minute is until you spend it waiting to die" Kevin

157. "How do we know this isn't an act of god?" Tommy

158. "He plays Minecraft and I play psychological thriller" Iskall

159. “Dream is a modern day Hannah Montana” Illumina

160. “Maximus Bucharest is not just a fashion house. He is a fashion bungalow” Max Fosh

161. “You pulled him out of a catalog. But because you pulled him out of a catalog his personality is paper-thin” Dylan

162. "Do you want her to marry a freaking tree? 'Cause I'm available” Dylan

163. “Oh no, my cod, it’s drowning!” Joel

164. “You give a man fishing rode and he is fed forever. You give him 8 buckets of salmon and he is scared and confused” Wilbur

165. “Trees help you breathe, and we all need to breathe to play Minecraft” Joel

166. “The beach people worship Totoro” Lizzie

167. “It feels like Scott did a weird random wheel generator, balanced it out and that’s the teams!” Antfrost

168. “It’s not Lime Llamas, it’s Lime Liars, and it’s me, Dream, Fruit and Your mom” Zeuz

169. “I am not gonna wrote Aqua Axolotls cause I can’t be bothered” Zeuz

170. “Church? It’s a Saturday. Church doesn’t exist” Wilbur

171. “What’s a Wisconsin?” ZombieCleo

172. “I don’t think I’ve appreciated before how weird ghasts are looking. I kind of just… accepted them in my life” Grian

173. “I’m gonna skip so much time, we’re gonna kill God himself” Jacksepticeye

174. “If they will just add more Sands of Time… The MCC just will get better and better” HBomb

175. “Through our discussion we had established that we will win. Great news” Oli

176. "You're a highly unusual individual and I can't let my audience be around you" Techno

177. “This is a sin! Let me get God on you” Tommy

178. “How do you predict? It’s all copium and bias. I don’t know how to not be biased, i am an egoistical optimistic person. So how do I do it?” Purpled

179. “DMCA IS ONE OF THOSE URBAN MYTHS” Tommy

180. “If only Jesus knew about this… oh I forgot, I AM Jesus” Tommy

181. “Sniff, I mean this in a nice way, but knowing memes does not make up for a personality” Tubbo

182. “I hate british people. British people should stop being british” Purpled

183. "I've won over 6,000 games of solo bedwars, fun is a distant memory" Purpboy, the kid that grew up with older brothers

184. “Don’t you know you are playing against Purpled Bedwars? I invented Bedwars” Purpled

185. "Put my tea in the microwave" Grian

186. "If first you don't succeed, keep annoying your friends until they listen" Grian

187. "We must not dwell on the fact we have no friends" Grian

188. “Not everything I do has to start a war. Sometimes I just want to create a society of sewer-related mole people” Grian

189. “You’d make a great politician, Lannan, because that was all bullshit” Jacksepticeye

190. Seapeekay: One thing I’ve learnt from this is that you miss all of the shots you dont take

Jacksepticeye: Oh, I just miss all of the shots regardless; I like to be consistent

191. "I haven't seen the moon in 3 years because I'm on the same server as Bdubs” Mumbo

192. “I’m about to hit spit spakle the fuck outta someone” Tubbo

193. “I will never be selected naturally. I will choose when it’s my time to die” Tubbo

194. “I am such a good discomfort streamer. I got so good at that lately” Tubbo

195. “I already did that, I am a rebel. I am rebellious. I am in my rebellious phase. Yeah, I tried alcohol. What can I say, I am rebellious” Tubbo

196. "Thats right. I'm breaking into your house. I'm gonna steal your man" Life advice with Grian

197. “You buy the whole seat to this musical, but you only need the edge of it” YoBGS

198. “It’s okay, I have my cat ears and my skirt, I am still doing well!” Baablu

199. ��Confidently said it with confidence” SMii7Y

200. “I’m a feeble boy, there’s only so much meat I can handle” Jack Manifold

201. “Trust me, dude. I want to find the suck. I just… I can’t” Ohmwreker

202. “It’s hard being a diplomat like that, people don’t really think it is but it did but it do you know” Smii7y

203. “I am being gaslit, and theres no girlbossing going on, lemme tell you that much” Jack

204. "I've seen all the bugs. I actually make the bugs” CJ

205. “Ghosts have urinated on the table” George

206. “I am going to play only copirated music this stream, because what if I will get DMCAed on Twitch during Twitchcon, that would be funny” Tommy

207. “I am gonna say it now, I am not at all sexually involved with this race” Wilbur

208. “Wilbur, say it with me: I love anal!” Tommy

209. “You are not cringe, you are an inconvenience” Tubbo

210. “You are just words, but you are wonderful words” Wilbur

211. “Phil, when I look at you, I think of you as a bit of a bottom guy” Wilbur

212. “Even in death I’m mega handsome” Grian

213. “I believed in the heart of the cards and the heart of cards KILLED ME” Grian

214. “The only rating system that matters is what tier you are in Scott Smajor’s head” Seapeekay

215. “Americans all they do is see a crime, think it’s probably a lag and walk away” Tommy

216. “No memes, just suffering” CJ

217. “I have a disclaimer, it fixes everything” Antfrost

218. “Superheroes don’t die in earthquakes” Sophie

219. “Phil, you pin me as a kind of person to own a Ferrari” Tubbo

220. “As long as we have the same fashion sense, it equals skills” Tubbo

221. “To be fair, I am all for some good bullying, if we are getting this kind of results” Tubbo

222. “In my mind I just think: ‘Man, I hope this organic. Only sinners eat not organic carrots’” Tubbo

223. “I am like a fish out of water, but the water is a Dodgeball arena” Wilbur

224. “Philza Minecraft! God, you look not a day over ninety” Tubbo

225. “I am going to get addicted to this game and I am not happy about it. But that is life” Tubbo

226. “I am a ball lover. I really am” Tubbo

227. “Ball is life, Tubbo” Wilbur

228. “I mean I’m already a criminal I may as well keep going” Shubble

229. Jack: There’s a lot of dsmp music, now that I think about it. Half of us made a song.

Eryn: Not me. I am too based.

230. “Everyone thinks I am a babysitter, but I am really just an alcoholic aunt” HBomb

231. “How much are you getting for babysitting today? Hopefully One Coin” HBomb

232. “Is this Skeppy? I think I just came” Tommy

233. “It’s me. Tombee Innit. The uncle of the great wedding we call life” Tommy

234. “Am I allowed to judge people's penises?” HBomb

235. “‘You hate me?'. No, I don’t hate you, I hate everybody” PeteZahHutt

236. “Jack’s literally wearing a Garfield outfit... I think he might be my soulmate” Martyn

237. “Who’s corpsing it?” Jack Manifold

238. “Is that my inner Trump?” Tommy

239. “I’ve been dunkin, pops” Tommy

240. “CJ is the one we need to be scared of, not the ghost” Insym

241. “Stop spending time with women and start spending time time-traveling” Tommy

242. “My new husband arrives today” Wilbur

243. “If you look through any of my fan’s twitters you’ll realize that these dudes aren’t okay. I should be sponsored by Better Help to be honest” Purpled

244. “Phil, remember when we smoked weed and fucked bitches?” Tommy

245. “I love doing nothing, it makes my life so much easier” HBomb

246. “Oh my god, I hate humans. All humans should die. Robots are better” HBomb

247. “I am a god with the dexterity of a mouse" Tommy

248. “Liberal. what is a liberal? It’s planting seeds in a garden you don’t get to see. If I throw away my balls— what is a liberal? That’s it, you’ve completely enraged me” Tommy

249. “‘Say a curse word’? Don’t tell me what to do you ✨fucking bastard✨” Tommy

250. “Among us would never kill me, Among us knows better. We are brothers in Christ, the Christ being, of course, Tubbo. Jesus Christ Tubbo” Tommy

251. “It’s like I am in Walmart! It’s my greatest nightmare!” Insym

252. “Don’t mean to flex, but I murdered two people, no big deal” HBomb

253. “And we need some smart people dust too” Geminitay, breaking redstone

254. “I feel like life is just better when people aren't wearing pants” HBomb

255. “It’s fine, I am a scum” Sneeg

256. “You know what, Sneeg, when I grow up I want to be just like you and do all the drugs that you’ve done” Tubbo

257. “I’ve never seen you so passionate about headwear” Tubbo

258. “Admittedly, I am a verified colonizer” Tubbo

259. “You’ve taken upon yourself to steal from the great city of France!” Tommy

260. “If you live in Wyoming, you have to be a cannibal” Tommy

261. “We have Salvador Dali for a villain” Sophie

262. “We're more stuck than your average stepsister” Insym

263. “I could’ve figure this out if I used my brain, but sometimes I just don’t use my brain” Insym

264. “This is my villain origin story. I am going to complete a villain arc right now” Insym

265. “I am actually potentially going to die here” Insym

266. “I am a stereotype :D” Kristin

267. “This city has more infrastructure than the entirety of America” Tubbo

268. “He is a dark whorse of this lobby, that’s for sure” Steve

269. “Every boy has a resting rock” Tommy

270. “I don’t know how to play Dungeon & Dinosaurs” Tubbo

271. “An old friend of mine, we call him Mr. Keys. Mrs. Keys for short” Tommy

272. “It’s fine, fella, you are with God now” Tubbo

273. “It’s like a beautiful rain of generational gaps” Wilbur

274. “Boomers destroyed themselves and zoomers just fucked around and failed” Wilbur

275. “And up to this point, Wilbur, I thought climate change was completely made up by Dream” Tommy

276. “I can get soggy for Schlatt” Tommy

277. “You’re a sucker and I am a fucker” Charlie

278. “Phil, Amazon forest is nice only until Tubbo will go and burn it down with his mid-eastern war force” Eryn

279. “No bears being pocked here” Beky

280. “I am quite content not having balls” Tubbo

281. “Punishment for trying” Phil

282. “We moved through catacombs from Tasmania to Spain” Eryn

283. “Do Spiderman’s friend shoot spiderwebs? They don’t shoot spiderwebs, so they are not cool” Eryn

284. “It was lunch. Well, technically breakfast” Tubbo

285. “I don’t want to live on an edge of uncertainty anymore” Insym

286. “They call me a doorbreaker. It’s actually my middle name in college” Insym

287. “‘How to survive school?’ That depends if you are in America or not. I assume it’s pretty easy everywhere other than in America” Tubbo

288. “You should be thankful. I was gonna kill you and I stopped myself” CJ

289. “Cause you died, dude. Get rekt” CJ

290. “I have an addiction at the moment, so I am a bit cold turkey” CJ

291. “I have my wits about me” Tubbo

292. “The shadows are shadowing, they are shadowing too much!” Vixella

293. “American people don’t quite understand, how do I say it lightly, anything” Tommy

294. “People often ask me: ‘Tom, what it’s like to be an internet superstar?’. And I answer them: ‘I don’t know, I have dementia’” Tommy

295. “You guys should turn your country off and on” Insym

296. “I am going to dress as a slutty cheese for Halloween” Kevin

297. “Never change yourself for a dude… it could give you ✨aCnE✨” Gabby

298. “Are you weeping?! But you're a baddie?!” Gabby

299. “Boys are not worth the stress acne, that is why I’m glowing” Gabby

300. “We could just burst down the door and battle to overthrow Ren. But that’s lame. You know what’s better? Psychological Warfare” Impulse

301. “When God said ‘let there be light’, AND THERE WAS I” Gabby

302. “If you have a power to shapeshift into anything and at any point in your life you choose to turn into insect, you should have your powers remove” Dylan

303. “Underestimating your enemies is as dangerous as underestimating your taxes” Kevin

304. “I can’t use a computer? Oh my god, I am a boomer” Kevin

305. "I'm a defender of the stupid. I gotta protect my own kind” Kevin

306. “Being insane isn’t that bad. I still win, that’s nice” Kevin

307. "Decision has been made. And the decisicion was wrong” Kevin

308. “Doesn’t seem like a good idea, but I kind of made of bad ideas” Insym

309. “Wait, I am not looking at the ceiling, what happened to me” Wilbur

310. “Imagine the entire house was a bathtub, that would be just unsanitary” Wilbur

311. “We’re all on the same team here, Scar. Except for Pearl. And everyone not on our team” Joe Hills

312. “I’M SORRY, I’VE NEVER BEEN A CHICKEN BEFORE” Elaina

313. “I am convinced that’s what dying is like” Tubbo

314. “I am not pregnant, it wouldn’t work for me” Tubbo

315. “Tips with me: just don’t die” Tubbo

316. “I want to have strong words with Fate” Tubbo

317. “Don’t leave me, Phil, I am parasocial!!!!” Tubbo

318. “I knew something was up when CPK died first” Sapnap

319. “I am hopping around and look at the sparkles and think: ‘Damn, they are sparkling’” Tubbo

320. “OH I FORGOT ANTFROST IS GAY! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT FACTOR” 5up

321. “People don’t like committing crimes when there’s a camera” George

322. “Oh my god, I am all over the place. I am everywhere and also nowhere at once” Vixella

323. “Tubbo is a biter, I guarantee” Martyn InTheLittleWood

324. “I am late, but I am the Moment” Gabby

325. “The secret is to just not use your brain” Krtzy

326. “I am not evil, I’m just twisted” Tubbo

327. “How’s my sanity looking, because I am loosing my fucking mind” Kiwo

328. “I am actually attracted to mundanity. It’s my biggest turn on” Tommy

329. “I sprinkle my clout into the sea to attract fish” Tommy

330. “Okay, chat, lay a thousands eggs then” Charlie Slimecicle

331. “No longer I am a flesh streamer. I am now a png tuber” Tubbo

332. “My cock is throbbing and I am full of frog” Tommy

333. “Tubbo, you can’t go around killing Gods” Tommy

334. “Kids, I know you always play those video games, but you know who is always among us and never sus? Jesus” Alex Meyers

335. “I am quitting youtube and becoming a psychology major to understand what’s going on in your fucking brain!” Dev

336. “Let’s give a head to Sniff” Apo

337. "Listen here you little shits (Laughs), I know what I'm doing... I created this game" Phil

338. "It turns out people give you free things, if you horrify them enough" Lizzie

339. “Oh no! It’s The Milf!” Sophie

340. “Don’t think I have enough in me to feel anything after… anything” Steve

341. “Yes, I can leak stuff too. Some might say it’s a speciality of mine” Tubbo

342. “Oh, 400k qrtw. I must be based today or ruining my career” Tubbo

343. “One day, Sneeg, I will know how to fry the air and we will be the same” Tubbo

344. “It turns on. I just have issues with it, spiritually” Tubbo

345. “It’s funnier if it’s american, because nobody will take it seriously” Tubbo

346. “It’s not very pumpkin spice latte of you” Tubbo

347. “I am being /srs /Garfield” Tubbo

348. “I was getting worried I started act a bit like an Emu” Tubbo

349. “We all emu deep in this Australia of the world” Tubbo

350. “New year, no gay” Tommy

351. “We can tell you are 4ft tall with the amount you are reaching” Tubbo

352. “Omg, Shubble, you have so much stuff that I could have instead” Tubbo

353. “My arrows did nothing to him! He is so scottish!” Tubbo

354. “Yeah, gaslight, girlboss, tiktok slay, cataways, all of those trendy words” Tubbo

355. “I’ve restarted this server day 1 style like 17 times now. At least half of them because of Tubbo, because he has no filter” Scott

356. “Sometimes I just don’t have the words. They all sound the same: awesome, awful, avocado. I can’t do it” Tubbo

357z “You have a powerful tongue” Tubbo

358. “I came back as a saturated streamer” Tubbo

359. “Sometimes it’s not about slaying the dragon, but making the dragon slay” Gunnar Deatherage

360. “How do I write ‘bank’ in stairs?” Tubbo

361. “The problem with Marvel is that it’s like you are watching a Mr.Beast video of cinema” Tubbo

362. “‘I hate planes’? Sorry, chatters, I just need to permanently ban someone” Tubbo

363. “‘Feeling bad for a criminal right now’? A little bit of a fraud never hurt anyone. You happened to have a photo of my ID you use it” Tubbo

364. “Criminals have anxiety too, never forget that” Tommy

365. “I am a gay lawyer second, and gay exterior design first” Scott

366. “Excellent stream, we’ve got a lot of done, we fucked around, we tolerated Tom for 20 minutes” Phil

367. “Cannibalism is wrong. Boom! I am based. You don’t need to tell me to be based, I am doing it by accident” Tubbo

368. “Thank you, chatters. You make me see clearly. When you say ‘Tubbo likes egg’ I go ‘yeah, I do like egg. It just makes so much sense” Tubbo

369. “Excellent! You guys are really good at this whole lying thing” Tubbo

370. “Bekyamon didn’t answer me. Jack Manifold would’ve answered me immediately” Tubbo

371. “Phil is not home! He will be gone for 10 days! You are stuck with me, second-choice-Toby!” Tubbo

372. “I am kind of second-choice-Toby, we would all rather watch Phil, including me” Tubbo

373. “I’ve learned how to spell ‘kitchen’ recently, and I am so pleased about it” Tubbo

374. “Some people were saying that there are different languages out there, but for me it sounds like a silly excuse to leave me out of the conversation” Oats Jenkins

375. “I am overall dissatisfied with you” Tubbo

376. “Sharing doesn’t come to me naturally” Tubbo

377. “I am not even bilingual, I barely speak english! I am not even monolingual!” Tubbo

378. “I am just trying to prevent me being stupid and it’s a full-time job” Kevin

379. “I am going for a negative IQ this game” Sykkuno

380. “Guys! I am unsupervised!” Tubbo, getting lost

381. “So you mix the yolk with your flour… and that’s how far I got into my tiktoks” Kristin

382. “I didn’t know streamers actually had talent” Tubbo

383. Bill: I'm breaking boundaries, I'm going further than what's expected of me-

Jack: The only thing you're breaking is Bad, Jessie Pinkman, now shut the fuck up

384. “Phil, do you reckon when you have kids in real life you call one Golden Baby Zombie?” Tubbo

385. “I am going to pee with my bladder” Tubbo

386. Velvet: Gay people are real.

Tubbo: Are they?

Antfrost: So unfortunate.

387. “I am not sweat, guys, I am not sweat, you are slandering me” Tubbo

388. “I don’t think you’ve ever approved anything I encouraged” Tubbo

389. “It’s got a little bit of blood in it, I like it” Tubbo

390. “I’ll scam everybody out of all their balls” Scar

391. "The Onceler's an idea, he can't be killed! He's beyond your understanding!" Awesamdude

392. “Me and Oneceler had something special in Columbia!” Awesamdude

393. “Guys if I ever get picked up by the police for something I didn’t do I might just hard flirt with the police officer and see what happens” Sneeg

394. “Who is Los? And who is Angeles?” Tubbo

395. “It’s overbelievablywhelming” Tubbo

396. “All of this review is going to be in bold and italics, so maybe you can interpret it as sarcastic” Tommy

397. “I think I might have to go and get a lobotomy” Tubbo

398. “I am so dehydrated from all the drama” Grian

399. “Sorry, I blew instead of suck, wrong one” Tubbo

400. “I just like having friends” MaxGGs

401. Tubbo: Bekyamon was lost to ethereal void

Niki: Good for them

402. “I killed my depression” Tubbo

403. “I’m too afraid to throw them out and I’m too stupid to know how to deal with them” Mike Trapp

404. “I am more of 8th impression kind of person” Tubbo

405. “That’s just my native secondhand embarrassment” Tubbo

406. “Secrets are made for sharing” Tubbo

407. “I don’t think he [Eminem] figured out blinking properly” Tubbo

408. “Is it possible to get bored while you sleep? Because I actually got bored” Tubbo

409. “Scott, I want your gay opinion on something” Tubbo

410. “That’s a very iconic photo! When everything was fun and I wasn’t depressed!… I am not actually depressed. I keep fighting this battle alone where I joke that I want to die and everyone believe me” Tubbo

411. “And if I can’t run away from my problems, then what’s the point?” Scott

412. “I am just that good of the sister. I dropped everything to be my brother” Lani

413. “If you can’t make friends in a normal way, make friends in a way that suits you” Scott Smajor, talking about summoning the undead

414. “Dude, I can’t wait to be exposed to be an awful person” Tubbo

415. Someone: Can we go mining? I don’t want to go there and die alone.

Tubbo: Oh, it’s fine, everyone dies alone :D

416. “What if I don’t want money? What if I just want my goldfish to be okay?” Tubbo

417. "I hate the IRS. I have to pay my taxes before april 15th otherwise the government is going to be upsetti spaghetti about it" Purpled

418. Scott: Told them they are playing chokers while we are playing chess.

Martyn: The thing is, I am playing Mahjong and I have no clue what I’m doing.

419. “If you are going to be an absent father, can you at least be absent?” Cleo

420. “How did half of your personality became gay sex, I just don’t understand” Tubbo

421. “We are going to make HOT. LOVE. because we hate them” Charlie Slimecicle

422. “I am impossible to make look bad in an account of looking so damn good” Jack Manifold

423. “Don’t hate the player, hate player’s political beliefs” Apokuna

424. “Martyn really thought I would fall into a trap? No no no, I did something even more stupid” Jimmy

425. “Are you telling me, that Philza Minecraft, the man, who streams 60 hours a minute, can’t take care of Tallulah?” Wilbur

426. "Quackity threw himself off the wall as an act of grief or whatever. So dramatic” FitMC

427. “People are just dying. To balls?” Phil

428. “Oh wow, past Toby was suicidal! :D” Tubbo

429. “‘We are all related’? Chat, are you like, my cousins?” Tubbo

430. “Just let me gaslight!” Tubbo

431. “Yeah, I have original thoughts, I can be smart sometimes” Foolish

#quotebook #tubbo #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #clingy duo #insym #steven suptic #mcyt quotes #purpled #callmekevin #foolish gamers #5up

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sabo-has-my-heart · 2 years

Text

IMW Ch. 6 Studying Hard

Feeling the words flow tonight, so here’s the next chapter. I’ll try and see if I can get to some of my requests later tonight, this is just what my brain decided on first.

Warnings: Ace acting gay-ish, misunderstandings

Word Count: 1540

Ace tapped his pencil against the notebook as he looked over the math problems. He officially hated math, but you’d insisted on basic ‘high school algebra’. Whatever the fuck that meant. The only thing that made it tolerable was the music playlist you’d made him. ‘Youtube’ was officially one of his favorite things in your world. No carrying around an assload of tone dials, no listening to the same song on repeat or unable to skip a song if you were tired of it, he could just click a thing. He still didn’t understand your computer, but you’d taught him enough to work youtube. He kept the computer on all day, just listening to his ‘playlist’ on repeat. You’d spent 2 weeks with him, looking for music he liked and creating a playlist he could listen to all day. Music was so different in your world, between the ease in which you could obtain it and what people played. While you were busy studying or at classes he was either cleaning your dorm or working on his own studies, often with music playing in the background. The lengths to which you were going for him, taking care of chores and studying hard was the least he could do. Still, his head fell forward, landing on the notebook as he groaned. It was painful! He knew enough to add up expenses, calculate the costs, and other basic mathematics, but Marco and the others usually took care of that shit and before Marco, it was Deuce. He briefly wondered how they were all doing, he wondered about them often, wondered how they were doing, how they were handling his disappearance. He still wondered what it was that had brought him here and why. His music suddenly stopped, the young man looking up to see you standing in front of your computer.

“Sorry, but I need the computer and I need to concentrate.” you said simply, Ace nodding in understanding.

“That’s cool, I was thinking about taking a break anyway.” Ace said, giving you one of his smiles, the same smile that always had your heart skipping a beat.

“If you decide to go out, please stay close and don’t talk to people. There’s still a lot I can’t explain.” you said, Ace nodding once more.

“I’m learning more, I finished that first book on the advancement of your world’s technology. I’ve been reading them between math problems, it’s kind of fascinating. Your world is so different, most things seem more advanced, others are just different, but I’ve also heard of things from my world that were more advanced.” Ace said excitedly, making you giggle. He was almost always energetic when it came to your world, excited to learn more. You didn’t understand why, you were pretty sure if it was the other way around, you’d be more worried about why you were even in another world. Of course, he had his moments, particularly when talking about his friends or his little brother. It was clear that he missed them, that he wanted to see them again, or at least let them know that he was okay, but he was trying not to let it get to him. There was a lot he was trying to suppress if his nightmares were anything to go by. More than once you’d woken up to his whimpering and thrashing, calling out for his brother or his captain, you could see it in his eyes when he’d talk about his old life, of the last week before he appeared in your world. Immediately, the dried blood on his pants made a lot of sense, not that you’d said anything. Part of you hoped he’d be able to get back to his world, back to his friends and brother, at the same time, you didn’t want to lose him, he wasn’t just some stranger that appeared in your dorm anymore, you’d developed an actual friendship. Still, given the chance, you’d send him back to his world, he had more people who needed him there. Getting to work, you sighed, you’d cross that bridge when you got there… if you got there. In the meantime, you had to study hard to convince your parents to spring for an apartment. You were going to meet up with them next week. Ace had already studied enough to get by if your parents tried to test him, everyone had their strengths and weaknesses, they’d accept him being a bit of a dunce when it came to math and science. The two of you had worked out what his fake major would be, and he’d even convinced you of his gay act. He was still him, he was still Ace, but different at the same time. Maybe you could turn him into an actor, people speculated unrealistic bullshit about them anyway, so it wouldn’t matter where he came from. A male model maybe? He was attractive enough. No, now wasn’t the time for that, you still had a lot of work to do.

Sitting in the small restaurant, your father glared at Ace, clearly displeased.

“This is your friend?” he asked, making Ace fidget in his chair.

“I know what you’re thinking, no boys, but this is different!” you protested, your father turning to look at him.

“Oh? And how is this different?” your father asked, glancing back at Ace briefly.

“I know why you’re concerned, you’re worried that he’s going to do something, but you don’t have to worry about that with Ace.” you said, your father raising an eyebrow.

“And why don’t I have to worry? He’s an attractive young man in his prime, probably done things with lots of sweet girls like you.” he said, glaring back at Ace.

“Actually, I’ve never done anything with any girls.” Ace piped up, your father giving him a disbelieving look, “I know, hard to believe, but I’m actually in a very committed relationship with a great guy named Marco, he lives pretty far away, otherwise I’d live with him, but this was kind of my first choice of school.” Ace said with a somewhat dreamy smile when he mentioned Marco. Your father looked at him in slight bewilderment.

“I apologize, I didn’t realize you weren’t… uh, single.” your father said. He clearly felt a little bad that he’d jumped to conclusions about the young man or, more importantly, about Ace’s sexuality, but he was trying.

“It’s no problem, most people look at me and assume I’m one of those jerks, I get it, I give off the look, I guess, but I’m really not going to do anything to her… well, I might give her skin care advice and I might have to show her my skin care routine, but nothing like what you’re thinking.” Ace said with a friendly smile.

“What’s wrong with my skin?” you asked, not expecting his comment.

“Nothing, nothing, I just, you see how soft and smooth my skin is? Guys like soft skin, at least Marco does, I figured you might want advice.” Ace defended, making your jaw drop. He… he was nailing it without seeming any different.

“Not all guys like soft skin!” you argued, suddenly feeling very irritable. Ace sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Okay, fine, I won’t share tips then.” Ace said, crossing his arms and huffing. Your father chuckled, drawing both of your attention back to him.

“You seem like quite a nice young man, alright, I’ll allow it, but top grades, and you’d better study hard too, I’m doing this as a favor, but I expect you to study hard, your mathematics are abysmal.” your father said, pointing to Ace. It was one of your father’s quirks, always looking out for your friends as if he were their father as well.

“No problem! Or well, I’ll do my best, math kind of sucks, but I’ll work hard.” Ace said with a smile, your father nodding in approval.

“Alright then, your mother and I will start looking at apartments. I’m sorry she couldn’t be here, you know she would have loved to see you.” your father said, giving a sad smile. You nodded in understanding, your mother worked hard, your father raising you while she chased her career. He understood, it was one of the things he loved about her, but it often meant that she missed lunch dates.

“It’s alright, so long as you’re both happy. I’ll see her sooner or later.” you said, the three of you standing up, giving your father a hug before parting ways.

“He’s nice, I like him.” Ace said as the two of you headed back to your dorm.

“He tries his hardest, he wanted mom to chase her dreams since his dream was to have a family, so he took care of me. Don’t get me wrong, my mom’s great too, she just works a lot.” you said, Ace nodding. In truth, he didn’t really understand, his life had been… different, but he understood that they loved you.

“Let’s get back to work, we’ve only just gotten started.” you said, smiling at him with a new determination. You’d make this work, you’d help him out, and you’d figure things out.

#one piece #Portgas D. Ace #portgas d ace #fire fist ace #one piece ace #Isekai'd to the modern world series

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