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lots-of-pockets · 1 year

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Touch starved

Pairings: Natasha x reader

Words: 2497

Warnings: none

Summary: It’s no secret that Natasha is extremely touch starved, but was far too shy and stubborn to admit it. She constantly makes up excuses for you to hold her. Tummy ache. Head ache. It was only after a particular challenging mission do you finally catch on.

You look up from your phone when you hear your girlfriend sigh heavily from the other side of the couch. She’d been home from work for a little over an hour, and after catching one another up on your days, you’d both taken residence on your respective sides of the couch for your weekly movie night.

“You okay?” You ask quietly as you gently nudge her with your foot, and Natasha looks your way for a short second before nodding her head. Although you were a little suspicious with just how truthful she was being, you’d learned from months of experience it wasn’t worth pushing. With one last glance her way, you bring your attention back to your phone.

You were currently window shopping for books. It had been a while since you’d treated yourself to a new one. You manage to add three to your basket that sound somewhat decent before you hear Natasha sigh again, and you once again find yourself focusing all of your attention on her.

“That was a heavy sigh,” you note as you lock your phone and place it onto the coffee table, and the red head shrugs her shoulders. “You sure you’re okay?” You ask.

Natasha seems to hesitate slightly before she flickers her eyes over to you. “I just have a headache.” She murmurs with a forced smile, and you pout slightly as you hold out your arms. The way Natasha’s eyes light up fills your stomach with butterflies, and you easily welcome her into your embrace when she crawls into your arms and settles on top of you.

Her head ends up nestled just underneath your chin, and her arms circle themselves securely around your waist. You wrap your arms around her before beginning to gently trail your hand up and down her back, your lips pressing softly against the top of her head in a tender kiss.

You feel her warm breath hit the skin of your neck when she lets out a soft sigh through her nose, and you find yourself holding her just that bit tighter.

“Skin.” Natasha murmurs against you, and you smile slightly as you reach down and slip your hand beneath her shirt to rest against the bare skin of her back. As you begin to make gentle circles, you feel her hum in content, and the smile on your lips was instantaneous.

It was just two days later that you feel the deja vu hit you. This time, you and Natasha were in bed, and the tv opposite playing a documentary about sea animals. It had captured your attention almost immediately, your inner nerd shining through, but Natasha’s mind, you noticed, appeared to be completely elsewhere. Her eyes were on the tv, but you could tell she really wasn’t paying attention.

“Nat?” You question, resting a hand on her thigh and giving it a soft squeeze. The red head hums as her eyes flicker over to you, and your lips quirk up into a soft smile as you reach up to give her cheek a soft touch. She seems to instinctively lean into the affection “You okay?” You ask.

That same hesitation on her face was visible almost immediately.

“Stomach ache.” She murmurs, sending you a strained smile. Something about her tone tells you she wasn’t being entirely truthful, but you knew she had no reason to lie so it must just be your tiredness getting to you.

“C’mere.” You murmur, sliding down in bed a little and holding out your arms. Natasha seems to relax instantly as she scoots herself over and falls into your arms, her arms securing themselves around your waist as yours circle easily around her shoulders.

You press a soft kiss to her forehead before bringing your attention back to the tv, your hand beginning to absentmindedly trail up and down her back.

“I love you.” You hear her murmur almost bashfully against your chest, and you smile softly as you return the sentiment. It wasn’t often that Natasha speaks those three words, but you knew without a doubt she loved you as much as you loved her. It was in the things she does and says.

Have a good day at work. Drive safe. A soft embrace and a gentle kiss against your cheek.

For so long she had fought the affection you’d give her. She’d go rigid beneath your touch. Make up an excuse to leave the room the second she saw you coming. She’d lived under the motto that had been installed in her from the mere age of six for so long that it was a hard habit to break.

Love is for children. It makes you weak. I don’t deserve it.

Those walls were still there sometimes. She still hides herself away when things get too much, but those days were now thankfully now few and far between.

You let out a soft sigh as you hold your girl close.

You don’t think you have ever loved anyone more.

You hum lightly beneath your breath as you stir the pasta sauce on the stove, the corners of your lips quirking up into a soft smile when you hear the distinct sound of your front door opening and closing signalling your girlfriend was home. Natasha had been away on a mission for two days, and you missed her more than you could ever bring yourself to admit.

“Baby? It that you?” You call as you turn down the heat, wiping off your hands on a clean hand towel before going to investigate.

You were met with the sight of a tired looking Natasha still dressed in her blackwidow suit kicking off her boots, and you pout slightly at the sight as you immediately head over to her and pull her into her arms. She immediately falls limp against you, so much so that you practically end up holding her up.

“Did everything go okay?” You ask in a quiet murmur as you bring your hand up to cup the back of her head, and she just barely nods against you as her arms tighten around your waist.

“Any injuries?” You push, a little concerned at how quiet she was being.

Natasha nods slightly, “Just a sprained ankle.”

Despite her words, you couldn’t help but smile. Gone were the days that she’d hide whatever injuries she had from you, and though she didn’t outright tell you when she was hurt, she never lied when you asked.

“Let’s go get you sorted. I have dinner ready for when you’re done.” Deciding that you didn’t really want to let her go, you simply bend at the knees and place your arms beneath her behind before lifting her up into your arms. Though Natasha startles slightly at the action, she doesn’t hesitate to loop her legs lightly around your hips and allow you to carry her through into the bathroom.

You gently place her down onto the closed toilet seat and leave her to get undressed as you head through to your shared bedroom to grab her some clean clothes. When you make it back, she was clad in nothing but her bra and underwear, and you smile slightly at the sight as you grab the first aid kit from beneath the sink before kneeling down in front of her.

You don’t need to ask which ankle it was. Her right one was significantly more bruised and swollen than the left, and with a small frown, you grab an ace bandage and begin to carefully wrap it up.

“We’ll get some ice on that after you’ve eaten.” You tell her as you secure the bandage with a safety pin, and Natasha nods as she lets out a quiet sigh before reaching for her shirt. Before you knew it, dinner was finished and you were on the couch with Natasha’s foot in your lap. You were holding an ice pack to her ankle whilst she stares up at the ceiling, your finger tips grazing up and down her bare leg.

Natasha seems to relish in the feeling of your touch, but with the way she was constantly shifting in place you knew she wasn’t as comfortable as she seemed.

Getting an inkling as to what was wrong, you replace your lap with a pillow before scooting out from beneath her. You crawl up her body before curling yourself up next to her, throwing a leg over her hips and resting your head against her shoulder.

“Better?” You ask quietly as you slip your hand underneath her tank top to rest on her bare stomach, and you feel her nod ever so slightly.

You end up falling asleep on the couch, only waking up in the early hours of the morning when you feel Natasha shifting beneath you.

“You okay?” You murmur hoarsely as you climb off of her and attempt to rub the sleep out of your eyes, and Natasha nods as she sits herself up.

“Gotta pee.” She murmurs with a tired smile as she rises to what feet, and you immediately return it as you watch her limp away.

Man she was so cute.

For the next few days, Natasha seems to milk her sprained ankle. She doesn’t outright say so, and you knew she was trying her best to be subtle, but after knowing her for so long and being able to read her cues, that black widow mask she puts on was no longer so effective allowing you to see right through her.

Her ankle was fine. Hell, Natasha operated with ease with busted ribs and had done so many times before. That wasn’t even mentioning the amount of times she’d been shot and was still able to make it back to the quinjet without help.

It tells you that she was simply using her ankle as an excuse to earn affection. It breaks your heart that she didn’t have the courage to simply just ask you to hold her, but you similarly do not have the courage to call her out on it because you knew how much it takes for her to allow herself to be vulnerable with you.

You didn’t want to break that trust. And you could also be wrong. Maybe her ankle really was bothering her. Maybe the tummy aches and head aches were real too and you were just overthinking things. But what if you weren’t?

As you eye Natasha from your place against the kitchen island, you put your plan into action.

Mission Natasha was underway.

The next day, almost like clockwork, Natasha gets all quiet again. You ask her what was wrong, and when she tells you it was just a headache, your suspicions grow. That, however, does not stop you from wrapping her up into her arms and holding her close, and you so without any hesitation.

It happens again two days later, except for this time, it was a back ache as opposed to a headache or stomachache. You offer her a massage, but she turns it down with the excuse that it didn’t hurt that bad.

She, however, does not turn down the offer of a hug, leaving you now one hundred percent sure. All that was left for you to do was find the courage to talk to her about it, and you dreaded the response that would greet you.

The opportunity ironically arises the very next day. Natasha had yet another headache and was currently sprawled out on top of you. It was silent with the exception of the dull murmur the movie playing on the tv was emitting, and though it takes you a while, you finally find yourself able to speak.

“You know you don’t have to be injured or hurting for me to hold you, right?” You murmur as you instinctively tighten your grasp around her, worried, at your words, that she’d try to get away.

Turns out your intuition was correct, because no sooner had those words left your lips, you feel her tense up before attempting to crawl out of your arms. She seemed to be acting upon instinct alone, and your heart breaks further.

“Sshh baby, no, don’t go. I’m not mad, it’s okay.” You rush to reassure, and though Natasha visibly hesitates, she eventually allows herself to once again fall limp against you again. You could tell she was still wary however, and you knew you had to be careful with whatever you said next.

“I love you,” you start as you bring your legs up, Natasha’s lower body settling in the gap that had been created. “And I absolutely adore holding you. You don’t ever have to be worried about me telling you no or pushing you away, okay? I promise.” You attempt to reassure as you cup the back of her head and press a tender kiss to her hairline, and though Natasha doesn’t say anything, you do feel her nod slightly against your chest.

With the knowledge she was now aware of how you felt, you decide it would be best to change the subject. She knew feelings on the matter, and it was up to her on what she chooses to do with them.

You could only hope she picked right.

About a week passes with no more excuses from Natasha. But that also means no cuddles either. You were admittedly a little worried, but as she wasn’t being distant with you and was her normal cheeky self otherwise, you decide not to question it.

It was on a random Monday whilst you were cooking dinner that something amazing happens. Natasha wonders casually into the kitchen and sends you a smile as she heads to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. You were under the assumption that was all she needed and was going to head back into the living room to carry on with the mission reports, just as she’d been doing for the majority of the day.

But she doesn’t. She takes a mouthful of the water before setting the bottle down, hesitating only briefly before sneaking behind you and securing her arms around your waist. You initially freeze in shock, but was quick to snap out of it before allowing yourself to lean back into her arms.

“Hi baby,” you greet casually as you place your hand on the ones she had settled on your stomach, giving them a soft squeeze. You knew not to focus too much attention onto what she was doing, because you knew she’d end up second guess herself and pulling away. “Dinners nearly ready.

“Hi moya lyubov'.” She murmurs, “sounds good.”

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I adored writing it 🤍

#natasha romanoff #soft natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #reader insert #natasha x y/n #black widow #fluff #natasha romonova #yelena belova #widow sisters

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creative-caramel-coffee · 12 days

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The Spiders Sister - Chapter 3

Summary: Reader meets the team.

Tw: mentions of sickness, teasing

Words: 2.8K

A/n: Thanks for all the support this series has been getting :) If anyone has any suggestions for things that could happen in this series lemme know and I’ll see what I think. No smut though I don’t write that here.

The next day you woke to knocking on the bedroom door. Sitting up in bed you quietly called for whoever it was to enter.

A moment later Wanda poked her head through the door. Seeing you awake or at least semi-awake she slipped through the small space she had created.

“Good morning.” She smiled coming to sit beside you on the bed. “Did you sleep well?” She asked pressed her hand to your forehead.

“Mmm.” You hummed still half asleep.

“You don’t feel warm anymore.” She smiled at this achievement as if she was proud of you. “How are you feeling today?” She asked moving her hands to rest in her lap again.

“Tired, but that’s probably because I just woke up.” You smiled.

“Nat sent me to wake you up. She wanted to know if your well enough to meet the others today.” Wanda explained looking slightly guilty.

“I mean, I’m game if you are. Where’s Nat?” You asked coving a yawn.

“Nat’s training with steve. And not so fast, I want to know more about how you're feeling. No more headache? Cough? Wheezing? Give me something.” She grinned.

“My headaches gone, no more cough, maybe a slight wheeze I’m not too sure.” You begun and Wanda’s brow furrowed slightly at the mention of your wheezing. “I’m like ninety-nine percent sure my fever is gone, and I feel pretty good all things aside.” You finished.

“That’s good. Maybe keep your inhaler on you today just in case. And after the meeting I’ll see if I can get Bruce to give us a few spares, just in case.” Wanda said softly.

“You really don’t have to.” You said shyly toying with a loose thread on the sheets.

“Its no problem. I would make me feel better. Breathing is important.” Wanda teased easing your concerns.

“So, when’s the meeting?” You asked.

“Well, I think Nat wanted to do it as soon as possible. Like straight after training and then I’m going to make you some pancakes for brunch.” Wanda said poking your side. “But for now, hop up, get dressed and I’ll be back soon to show you where the meeting room is.” Wanda said, standing up and heading for the door.

Once wanda had left, probably to go and find Nat to call the meeting, you crawled out of bed. Rifling through your backpack you changed out your sleepshirt and shorts for a pair of black track pants and a pale-yellow t-shirt. Throwing on some goofy socks and lacing up your black converse high tops you braided your hair sat in front of the mirror and threw on some deodorant.

Once you were ready and had been to the bathroom to wash your face and go through your morning routine, you sat at peters desk.

Picking up your backpack you went through it until finding what you were looking for.

Pulling out the black sketchbook you opened it to a fresh page and began mindlessly doodling things you could see around peters room and the cityscape beyond the open curtains.

Just as you were getting into the details of the New York skyline you heard a knock on the door.

Lowering your pencil, you sat a little straighter.

“Come in.” You called your voice sounding better than it had in days. And surprisingly good for someone who had spent hours coughing and wheezing for days on end.

Wanda opened the door and smiled seeing you up and about for the first time.

“You look much better.” She commented coming to stand by your shoulder. “Wow, you’re an amazing artist.” She smiled looking at your drawings.

“Oh, um … thanks.” You smiled still a little awkward when it came to compliments. “So, what’s the news?” You asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yes.” Wanda said looking up from where she had been inspecting your sketchbook. “Nat called Fury. He’s kinda the boss. He’s given the go ahead if steve and tony sign off on it. Nat then called a meeting and I’m going to bring you to the room where you're going to meet the team.” She explained.

“I have two questions.” You said.

“Shoot.” Wanda said pulling you up and gesturing to follow her out the door.

“One, is peter going to be at this meeting?” You asked as Wanda lead you down some seemingly endless corridors.

“Yes.” Wanda nodded, pressing the button to call the lift.

“And two, this Fury guy said yes? Just like that?” You asked sounding slightly confused.

“Yes and no.” Wanda begun, stepping onto the lift with you beside her. “Nat asked Jarvis, Tony’s AI assistant to pull up all CCTV footage of spider-man and separate footage based on bio-signatures. So, she could differentiate between when it was peter and when it was you in the suit. She sent Fury the files and after he reviewed them, he approved you a place on the team. If you want it and the others agree.” Wanda explained.

“Okay.” You said slowly. “Seems like a good plan.” You smiled.

And the lift dinged softly as it slowed to a stop.

“This is us.” Wanda said and you followed her out of the open doors. Walking beside her down a hallway she stopped in front of a door and paused to look at you. “You ready?” She asked, her hand on the door handle.

“Yep.” You nodded swollowing down your nerves. “Ready as I’ll even be.”

“You’ll be great. Just be yourself and they’ll love you.” Wanda said and pushed the door open.

Nat was stood at the head of the table, a screen behind her queued up with spider-man videos. She smiled at you and wanda as the rest of the people turned to face you.

Seeing the people you had only ever seen on Tv in real life was a little overwhelming at first but wanda squeezed your hand and lead you into the room to stand at the front with her and Nat.

Peter smiled at you from where he was sat beside Tony. Looking proud of you just for standing in front of the avengers.

You stood there silent for a second simply making eye contact with your shoes before Natasha spoke up.

“This is Y/n.” Nat begun, and you gave a small half wave with an awkward smile. Tony was staring you down with an unreadable expression. He looked like he was analysing your face mentally. Most likely already having connected you to Peter.

“Hi I’m Y/n Parker.” You said lifting your eyes to meet a few smiling faces around the room a fair few of them sporting shocked looks.

“Parker?” Tony echoed sounding smaller than you had ever heard from his times on Tv.

“Y/n Parker is Peters sister.” Wanda explained.

“Kid?” Tony looked hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me there were two of you?” He asked looking sad.

Peter looked slightly sick at the open disappointment his mentor was showing right now and so you stepped in before peter had a panic attack.

“Mr Stark, Sir, it was my decision to keep myself out of the spotlight. And to do that I needed to maintain a low profile. Which is harder to do when the avengers know of your existence. No offence.” You explained. And the team exchanged a few glances as they noted how you had come to Peter’s aid almost immediately.

“That’s alright, I’m sure Pete will open up now you’re here.” Tony said with a grin as he ruffled Peters hair, “Won’t-cha kiddo?” He asked with his usual charismatic charm and Peter gave a small nod and smile while he ducked his head not liking the attention.

“So, anyone have anymore questions?” You asked drawing the attention off of Peter once more much to your brothers' relief.

Looking away from the small smile he sent you as thanks you laughed, seeing every hand in the room up with a question for you, bar Nat, Peter and Wanda of course.

You looked to your left and nodded to Steve.

“Hi, nice to meet you kid.” Steve said. “I have a question though, if Peter’s identity is secret, why did you need to stay away from us?” He asked looking confused, and his statement drew a few nods around the room.

“If Tony scares you honey, I can assure you that the man would forget his own shoes without me.” Someone you recognised as Pepper Potts said with a smile causing Tony to grumble to himself. How Nat had managed to wrangle the CEO of Stark industries into this meeting you didn’t know.

Little did you know that all it took was ‘There’s something you should know, it has to do with Peter’ and she was on her way.

“Actually,” Wanda said drawing the gaze of the room to her, “This should explain it. Jarvis play the video.” She said and the lights dimmed as the Tv showed a compilation of some of your best moves in the spider-suit.

When the video ended the lights retuned to their normal brightness and everyone still looked confused.

“How exactly does a compilation of Peter doing tricks explain that?” Bruce asked.

“Um…” You said looking slightly nervous. “That was me.” You said in a small voice and the room was silent for a second.

“Sick moves kid. Peter your sister’s awesome.” Sam said and a few people laughed at his perfect comedic timing.

“Prove it.” Tony said and you paled slightly.

“Tony.” Pepper said placing her hand on his arm and shooting him a look.

“No, its ok pepper.” Nat said. “Jarvis?” Nat called to the ceiling. “Was that peter in the suit for those videos?” She asked.

“The height and weight as well as body stature and proportions do not match Master Parker.” Jarvis said.

“Ok,” Nat continued, “Who do those body descriptors match in this room?” She asked.

“The person in the suit does match the body of Miss Parker.” Jarvis said and Tony frowned.

“Do the sticky thing.” Bucky called drawing a few smiles. You rolled your eyes and put a hand up, splaying your fingers before jumping in the air and touching the ceiling where you stayed stuck.

“Crawl around.” Sam said and you glared at his heckling.

“No.” You said and you saw Peter doing his puppy eyes at you. “Fine.” You sighed.

Jumping up you did a flip and stuck your legs out, now standing on the ceiling upside down and making eye contact with Sam before looking to Bucky.

“Better?” You asked sarcastically.

“Much.” Sam grinned and you rolled your eyes again.

“Ok. Get down Y/n.” Nat said sounding part annoyed part amused at the display.

“Yes ma’am.” You said before detaching from the roof and doing a flip to landing back where you were before.

“Show off.” Peter murmured under his breath and you huffed a small laugh as his ears went red, not having expected you to hear him. Dumb super-hearing.

“Well, now we’re done with the party tricks. What are we thinking?” You asked brushing off invisible dirt from your clothes.

“Well…” Tony said. “I think its time you got your own suit.” He grinned and you smiled back. “What colours do you want kiddo?” He asked.

“Um… maybe something like purple, white and red?” You said and he nodded already sketching down ideas on a pad of paper pepper had brought with her from a meeting.

“You’re also getting an AI.” Tony added and you looked a peter who simply smiled proudly of you.

“Well, if that’s everything Y/n’s also gonna need a room.” Wanda said and Tony nodded.

“There’s a spare room on Natasha and Wanda’s floor if you want to move in with the girls. Do I need to send some movers to grab your things?” Tony asked and you looked at your shoes and shook your head.

“Not much to move.” You mumbled.

“Y/n’s apartment was taken out in the last battle. She’s been hiding out in Peter’s room for now. That’s how we met actually.” Natasha said shooting you a reassuring smile.

“Well, it sounds like I’m going to be funding yet another shopping trip.” Tony sighed and Wanda grinned at you mischievously.

“We’ll make it a girl's day.” Wanda said shooting a look at pepper.

“I’d love to.” Pepper agreed and Nat clapped her hands together.

“Alright then.” The assassin said. “I should probably tell Fury we have another spider on the team.” Nat grinned and you smiled at her.

“Great, now we have three spiders.” Tony said rolling his eyes and ducking as Pepper aimed a pretty good swing to the back of his head.

“Knock it off Tony, don’t act like you're not secretly overjoyed to have another Parker around.” Pepper said.

“Just wondering,” Bruce said looking mildly nervous as the room turned to look at him.

“Yes?” You prompted him to continue.

“Are you…” He begun before pausing, “I guess theres no real nice way to put it.” Bruce said and Tony jumped in.

“I think Brucie-bear wants to know if you come with the Parker Brain Package.” Tony said and Pepper glared at him.

“Tony.” She warned, glaring at him while you cleared your throat.

“If you’re asking about how smart I am, let’s just say I designed the original prototype for the web-shooters and chemical makeup of the fluid.” You said and Tony nodded seemingly satisfied with that small tidbit of information for now.

“Well, if nobody had anything else to say, Wanda and I are going to take Y/n for a tour of the compound.” Nat said before turning to look at Clint. “And you, have to make dinner. You lost our bet.” Nat said and then dragged you and Wanda out of the room by your sleeves.

After a very long and very comprehensive tour by Natasha and Wanda, you were shown back to the communal kitchen where most of the team ate together when they weren’t on missions.

You walked into the dining room attached to the kitchen to be hit with the smell of burnt food pungent in the air.

You looked at Nat confused, and she grinned as she heard cursing coming from the kitchen. Wanda looked like she was itching to go help but sad she pulled away Nat grabbed her sleeve at the very last second to hold her back.

“Can someone explain whats going on for me?” You asked.

“Well, Clint and Natasha can’t cook if their lives depended on it.” Wanda begun, only to shush Nat when she went to speak up. “So naturally they made a bet, loser had to cook the team dinner, naturally Clint lost so Nat is enjoying his public humiliation. And I normally cook if we aren’t getting takeout so it's causing me pain to hear whats going on in there.”

“Oh, calm down. Clints not blowing anything up.” Nat said rolling her eyes as Wanda shot her a look. “Ok that was one time.” Nat amended.

Not twenty minutes later you were sat at a table with the avengers with a plate of very burnt stake and watery mash potatoes.

“What is it?” Tony asked poking his steak.

Clint grinned. “A masterpiece.” He said.

“More like a mistake.” Nat muttered judging her steak while poking it with her knife as if she was expecting it to start moving of its own accord.

“I say we have newbie try it.” Tony posed and you rolled your eyes.

Cutting off a piece of the very tough steak with your knife you raised it to your lips and put it in your mouth.

It was tough and kind of disgusting. But you smiled anyway.

Finding the meat tougher than you had been expecting, you made the switch as you called you fangs up. Your canines sharpened as you chewed managing to decimate the meat. Swallowing you looked at Clint.

“Not the worst thing I’ve every eaten.” You said with a smirk and Tony who had been watching you closely squeaked.

“Jeez kid you didn’t tell me your sister was a vampire.” Tony said turning to Peter.

By this point most of they eyes were on you, so you hid your teeth and retracted the fangs out of embarrassment.

“She’s not. It’s a spider thing she got.” Peter said coming yo your defence.

“Either way her new name is fangs.” Tony said with a grin.

This time you glared at him.

“For the record i think they’re awesome.” Wanda said sensing your embarrassment.

“Seconded.” Nat said her spy training honing in on your body language to see you were insecure about it.

“I gotta admit it’s a cool trick doll.” Bucky said.

“Pretty neat.” Steve agreed with a smile.

“Badass.” Sam nodded flicking a still frozen pea at Bucky. “Alright, now that y/n probably has food poisoning, who wants pizza?” Nat asked with a grin. Cheers came from all sides of the table as Clint slumped dejectedly in his seat.

PART 4

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otmaaromanovas · 5 months

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Anastasia's personality

Lesser known quotes about Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanov and her personality, from those who knew her and from Anastasia herself!

Happy reading :)

"Once they had seen this demonstration [of security dogs sniffing out objects], the Grand Duchesses often amused themselves by hiding objects on the island, and asking us to have them retrieved by the dogs. That was, above all, the favourite game of the youngest of the Grand Duchesses, Anastasia Nicholaievna. So the guide asked permission to take the Grand Duchess by the hand and let the dogs sniff it, who then disappeared into the island and brought back the hidden object. Of course, the Grand Duchess was hugely delighted." - Alexander Spiridovitch, Last Years at Tsarskoe Selo, Volume 1

Anastasia to tutor Pyotr Vasilievich Petrov: "Wikied P.V.P. I am very, very upsit with you. Why didn’t you write a litter to Maria and me? I’m telling you, you are very, very bad, extremely bad even. Maria and I have written you so meny letters and you haven’t replied. I am going to make mystakes on purpose. I alredy see where I made mystakes. Anastasia. 1909. 9 November." - Helen Azar, George Hawkins, Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings

"Sometimes, the Grand Duchesses would enter the thatched houses and strike up conversations with the peasant women. The male population worked far away, at fishing, Anastasia Nicholaievna made friends with an old peasant woman, whom she came to see in her thatched cottage several times, and with whom she had long conversations. The peasant was knitting a stocking, and showed the Grand Duchess how it was done. On her birthday, Anastasia Nicholaievna visited the old lady, and asked her how old she thought she was. When the old lady could not guess, the Grand Duchess announced proudly that she was eight years old!" - Alexander Spiridovitch, Last Years at Tsarskoe Selo, Volume 1

"We used to make long outings around the islands. One day, Anastasia Nicholaievna begged the Emperor to take her on one of these outings. The Emperor consented. It was a very long outing. We covered some fifteen to seventeen versts. Everybody, except the Emperor, was very tired, with Anastasia Nicholaievna at the point of tears. The people who accompanied the Emperor took turns carrying her pick-a-back [piggy back]. That outing was remembered for a long time." - Alexander Spiridovitch, Last Years at Tsarskoe Selo, Volume 1

"Anastasia Nicholaevna was a lively witty child, who developed rapidly in the midst of her sisters. Very mischievous, always gay she still amused herself with toys such as the little, stoppered bottles and pots which a doctor who visited the Imperial Family used to bring her. She and her brother got no end of fun from these things." - Alexander Spiridovitch, Last Years at Tsarskoe Selo, Volume 1

"Little Anastasie was delighted with the stir and bustle of city life and deeply interested in all she saw. The children developed a love for those little toy balloons which are sold in the streets. When they were very good I used to send out and get them one each. But Anastasie used sometimes to want me to stop the carriage and buy them from the men, and this, of course, could not be allowed. So I always said simply that I could not, without advancing any reason. She evidently thought force would have to be used to induce him to part with them, for one day she saw some little children walking on the Palace Quay, each one with a balloon. She drew my attention to them. "Look, look!" cried she; "little children with balloons; get out, take them from them and give them to me." I explained why that would not do, so she said, " Well, get out, and ask them nicely and politely, and perhaps they will give them to me."" - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"Someone in speaking to me of the four little girls lately said to me, "...little Anastasie has personal charm beyond any child I ever saw."" - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"I had got from England a preparation for the children's hair, and was rubbing it into little Anastasie's head one evening. She objected, and I said, " It will make your hair grow nicely, darling," so she submitted. Next evening I went to get the kappuka [solution] from the cupboard, and mademoiselle ran off into the next room. She returned dragging by its leg an awful dolly, a regular fetish, minus a wig, one eye, and an arm. She gravely took a little piece of sponge and began to rub the kappuka into the creature's head. I remonstrated, telling her I had to send to England for the stuff and did not want it wasted. She looked at me most reproachfully, and said, "My poor Vera! she has got no curls; this will make her hair grow." Of course, she got her way." - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"Anastasia Nikolaevna was especially attracted to stores, where they sold doll shoes of various sizes…" - Sophia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, A Few Years Before the Catastrophe

Letter from Alexei to their father, Nicholas: "[22 Sept 1914] …Anastasia was throttling [tutor] M. Gilliard." This has also been translated as "…Anastasia was trying to strangle M. Gilliard" - George Hawkins, Alexei: Russia's Last Tsesarevich - Letters, diaries and writings

Letter from Alexandra to Nicholas: "Jan 6 1916 …Anastasia has bronchitis, head is heavy & hurts her swallowing, coughed in the night,, she writes about [Dr.] Ostrog.[orsky]. “Although he said that I look a little better than yesterday, but I am pale & my appearance is foolish in my view” just like the “Shvibzik” [her nickname] to say such things…" – Joseph T. Fuhrmann, Nicholas II and Alexandra Feodorovna. The complete Wartime Correspondence April 1914 – March 1917

Letter from Alexandra to either her brother or sister-in-law: "7 May 1913… Anastasia is growing gradually and is as funny as always." - Petra H. Kleinpenning, The Correspondence Of The Empress Alexandra Of Russia With Ernst Ludwig And Eleonore, Grand Duke And Duchess Of Hesse

The following are from Helen Azar, George Hawkins, Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings:

Tutor Pyotr Vasilievich Petrov to Anastasia: "12 October 1909. Hello dear, good, diligent, obedient (albeit not always), kind and affectionate (also not always?) Anastasia Nikolaevna!" - Helen Azar, George Hawkins, Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings

Anatoly Mordvinov to the Grand Duchesses: "September 19, 1915 My beloved torturers! I can’t express how pleased I was with your joint, dear, sweet letter… What terrible news, reported by my chief tormentor Anastasia Nikolaevna…"

Anastasia to Nicholas: "October 3rd [1915] …There was a psalm-reader who read so incredibly funny that it was simply impossible not to laugh"

Note from Anastasia to Alexei "…Now you, little piggy, know all the rooms…"

Letter from Anastasia to Alexei: "1 November 1915. ...My Dear and Darling Little Alexei! I haven’t forgotten my responsibility [to walk dog Joy], and every day either I or Madeleine or Tutles goes for a walk and it goes very well."

Last diary of Alexandra: "12/15 April. Marie comes with us [to Ekaterinburg], Olga will look after Baby, Tatiana the household & Anastasia will cheer all up." - Last diary of Alexandra Feodorovna

"Anastasia was not allowed to go to dinner, had to go to bed early, which was why she had dinner alone with the nanny in her giant lonely “upstairs”… So sad, these poor children live in a golden cage." - the memoirs of V. I. Chebotareva

Diary entry of the palace priest: "April 11, 1917 - …The former Heir was taken past my window in a wheelchair. Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna saw me in the window and loudly said to her mother, “Over there, the batiushka [father] is looking at us”" - Belyaev, Potapov, The Romanovs Under House Arrest: From the 1917 Diary of a Palace Priest

Letter from Maria to Nicholas: "April 1915 …The little Shvybzik [Anastasia's dog] just made a “governor” [accident] on Mama’s carpet, and Anastasia is not training him…" - Helen Azar, George Hawkins, Maria Romanov: Third Daughter of the Last Tsar, Diaries and Letters, 1908–1918

"...the most energetic and speedy - Anastasia Nikolaevna - had a rather silent, sedate and serious Navigator A.V. Saltanov [to look after her]. The latter ended up with most trouble and turmoil. Dear 'Nastasya', as the Gosudar [tsar] called her, was a trouble making tomboy. With her hair always messed up, always dishevelled, from morning till night she ran around the yacht, climbed up ladders, peeked where she should not have, until, with a lot of screaming she was finally led away and put to bed. Her parents said she was the "clown"." - Memoirs of Nikolai Vasilievich Sablin

"It was after Anastasia had arrived as a pupil that Gibbes met his first real problem. Still slightly built (she would soon grow rapidly), eager in her movements, her eyes sparkling with intelligence, she was self-possessed and in entire command of her features; he had met nothing like it any other child. Remembering a course in child psychology he had taken during one of his exploring periods at Cambridge, he tried as many innovations from it as he could; they did not shelter him from storms, usually sudden. Once, after a disturbed lesson, he refused to give her five marks, the maximum (and customary) number. For a moment the wondered what might happen; then, purposefully, Anastasia left the room. Within minutes she returned, carrying one of the elaborate bouquets that seemed always to be in waiting. 'Mr Gibbes,' she said winningly, 'are you going to change the marks?' He hesitated before he shook his head. Describing it long afterwards in a letter (1928) to the Grand Duke Alexander Mikhailovich, the Tsar's brother-in-law in Paris, Gibbes wrote: Drawing herself up to the most of her small height, she marched into the schoolroom next door. Leaving the door wide open, she approached the dear old Russian professor, Peter Vassilievich Petrov. 'Peter Vassilievich', she said, 'allow me to present you with these flowers'. By all the rules he should have refused them, but professors are human; he did not. Later, we made it up again, and I received my bouquets once more, for the Grand Duchess nearly always gave me one during those early years. I-well, I was more careful in my marking. We had both learned a lesson. Another morning would not be forgotten. There had been a children's fancy-dress dance at Tsarskoe Selo on the previous night. Gibbes, in tail-coat and white tie, waited at his desk for Anastasia to arrive. When she did, quickly and mischievously, her face was blackened like a chimney-sweep's and she carried a small golden ladder which she placed beside her while she waited for the lesson to begin. Gibbes, deciding to take no notice, was about to speak when he heard a rush of laughter outside the big double doors at the end of the room. They flew open, and through them there appeared the three elder Grand Duchesses with their mother. The Empress looked in horror. 'Anastasia!' she cried, 'go and change at once!' And, meekly, the sweep vanished. When she came back, her face scrubbed as red as a lobster, the gold ladder was still beside her desk; but everybody pretended not to see it and the lesson continued in the Empress's presence." - Trewin and Gibbes, Tutor to the Tsarevich

"Through the years he preserved from Tobolsk two cheap exercise books, each labelled ‘English’. ‘M. Romanof’ had written her name on one label. The other book belonged to A. Romanova (Shut Up!) Tobolsk 1917-1918.’ Grand Duchess Anastasia, more exuberantly talkative than her sisters, seized on one of Gibbes’s exasperated moments. When he told her to shut up, she asked him how to spell it and adopted it as her nickname." - Trewin and Gibbes, Tutor to the Tsarevich

"‘At the end of the farce [Gibbes reported] the husband has to turn his back, open his dressing-gown as if to take it off- Anastasia wore an old one of mine - and then exclaim: 'But I've packed my trousers; I can't go.' The night's applause had excited the little Grand Duchess. The piece had gone with a swing and they were getting through the 'business' so fast that a draught got under the gown and whisked its tail up to the middle of her back, showing her sturdy legs and bottom encased in the Emperor's Jaeger underwear. We all gasped; Emperor and Empress, suite and servants, collapsed in uncontrolled laughter. Poor Anastasia could not make it out. All were calling for a second performance, but this time she was more careful. Certainly I shall always remember the night; it was the last heart unrestrained laughter the Empress ever enjoyed.’" - Trewin and Gibbes, Tutor to the Tsarevich

"...Anastasia was the most amusing; she was always full of mischief. - “Anastasia is our family clown!” the Emperor once exclaimed, laughing, to my mother." - Olga Voronova, Upheaval

"Fleeting memories come back to me of those cloudless summer days. Pictures of the Emperor and his daughters at the Garden Party at Tsarskoe, the little Grand Duchess Anastasia, her cheeks scarlet with excitement, surrounded by a group of midshipmen, plying them with eager questions. “You will take me up into your conning tower,” her clear childish voice rang out above the hum of conversation. “Couldn’t you let off one of the guns and just pretend it was a mistake?”" - Muriel Buchanan, Ambassador's Daughter

"The youngest girl, Anastasia, was spirited, sly and playful; she would get under the dinner table and pinch the legs of some elderly statesman until her father pulled her out by her hair. She has been described as ‘a little inextinguishable volcano, with a world of her own’." - Bernard Pares, The Fall Of The Russian Monarchy A Study Of The Evidence

"The Tsar's youngest daughter was much the sprightliest and most entertaining. She had a comic gift as a mimic, picking out people's foibles in a way that made everyone laugh. "What a bundle of mischief," recalls her godmother, Grand Duchess Olga Alexandrovna, the Tsar's sister. There was also a serious side to Anastasia's nature. She had a restless, questioning intelligence. "Whenever I talked with her," says Count Grabbe, "I always came away impressed by the breadth of her interests. That her mind was keenly alive was immediately apparent." More than her sisters, Anastasia chafed under the narrowness of her environment and used her comic sense in revolt against it." - Count Alexander Grabbe, The private world of the last Tsar, in the photographs and notes of General Count Alexander Grabbe

"The Grand Duchess Anastasia Nicholaevna was sixteen or seventeen years old; she was short, stout and was, in my opinion, the only one in the family that appeared to be ungraceful Her hair was of a lighter color than that of Maria Nicholaevna. It was not wavy and soft, but lay flat on the forehead. Her eyes were grey and beautiful, her nose straight. If she had grown and got slim she would have been the prettiest in the family. She was refined and very witty. She had the talents of a comic actor, she made everybody laugh, but never laughed herself. It appeared as if her development had stopped and, therefore, her capacity faded a little. She played the piano and painted, but was only in the stage of studying both." - The Examination of Sidney Gibbes, The Last Days of the Romanovs

"The Grand Duchess Anastasia, I believe, was seventeen. She was over-developed for her age; she was stout and short, too stout for her height; her characteristic feature was to see the weak points of other people and to make fun of them. She was a comedian by nature and always made everybody laugh. She preferred her father to her mother and loved Maria Nicholevna more than the other sisters." - The Examination of Commissar E. S. Kobylinsky, The Last Days of the Romanovs

Hope you enjoyed reading and learnt something new!

Want to find a book listed here? Reply, ask, or message me! I'd be happy to help!

#Anastasia Romanov #Anastasia Nikolaevna #Anastasia #sources #Romanov #Romanov sisters #Romanov family #Grand Duchess Anastasia #women's history #Anastasia 1997 #russian history #history

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axinite25 · 18 days

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Do you have a headcanon on how bishova realising they have feelings for the other?

So this escalated fast

Yelena realises it first, because Red Room attraction training, and Kate Bishop is breathtaking, but denies herself anything to do with it, because how could she be so careless to form an attachment to someone? She had gone this long alone, there was no reason to fall for the trap of romance.

Besides, Kate had so much more experience, she's sure of it (and she doesn't want to admit that the idea of embarrassing herself is intimidating)

Kate on the other hand finds Yelena hot immediately but doesn't think there's a snowballs chance in hell that she'll feel the same (because she'sYelena Belova) so keeps it to herself, doing her best not to get excited when she texts at random times, invites herself over, sends postcards from whatever country she is in at any given moment, calls her "Kate Bishop" which yeah, okay it's her name but it is different when Yelena says it. Like there's more there, lingering in the glances when she thinks Kate isn't looking and the touches when Yelena initiates contact

There's no hope and she has to accept that even if it sucks

But then Yelena comes back home one day (she is unsure when she has started calling Kate Bishop's apartment home) and the woman isn't there. So she reacts totally normal and looks for her, finding her in a bar, being flirted with, and hearing her laughter because of someone else makes her feel sick and FINALLY tips the scales. She admits it at Natasha's grave that the risk of making a fool of herself is worth it if there's a chance of being with a person who has (somehow) become the safest place in the world to her.

Kate has no idea how she managed to convince Yelena she is worth her time, and Yelena makes sure Kate realises her own worth every day

(Yelena is also totally inexperienced with romance and 'stuff' because Red Room, so she makes mistakes, fumbles a lot, but Kate is patient as hell with this (with her (because she's Yelena ((and Kate would punch the sun for her)))

And then Natasha magically returns because this is my soap box and I chose the delusions

#this ran away from me a little #bishova #bishlova #kate bishop #yelena belova #kate bishop x yelena belova #yelena belova x kate bishop #axin asks #axin writes #theyre so soft to me #mcu #natadha romanov #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff & yelena belova #siper sisters

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melinoyart · 6 months

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Grand Duchess Olga

i think this is the longest i've ever spent on a piece but imo it shows and i'm so incredibly pleased with it

#my art #romanov sisters #olga nikolaevna #otma #procreate

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dwreader · 10 months

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Claudia’s sailor dress and historical references.

While a staple of childhood fashion among royalty and aristocrats for decades (Queen Victoria put her son in one in 1846 and set the trend for wealthy parents), the sailor dress for teenage girls was popularized in America in the 1900s by tailor Peter Thomson of Philadelphia. Louis who keeps up with fashion trends would’ve known immediately what to put his new baby in as this was THE look for little girls in the 1910s. It was eventually accepted as school wear for girls which is ironic since Claudia doesn't go to school or interact with other kids at all at this point. They are now largely associated with schoolgirls and uniforms.

While the majority of these childhood sailor photoshoots available online are of white kids, you can also find some examples of black children dressed in sailor fits from early 20th century so this was not exclusively a white kids only trend, which Louis surely would've been very conscious of.

#iwtv #that second pic is the romanov sisters btw not to be morbid #but maybe intentional given the year claudia was made 1917 #👀👀👀#also i think florence def dressed up the kids in these sailor clothes for photoshoots when they were little #costume analysis

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arlana-likes-to-write · 1 year

Text

Darkest Mind

Family is More Than Blood Masterlist

Summary: Sometimes the world was to loud and the voices that called you a monster, and killer began to much. To silence everything, pain was something you were familiar with. All you’ve known is pain. But when your family starts to notice you falling, they are there to catch you.

Warning: This story contains themes that can possible be triggering. Self harm, mention of suicide, guilt, not eating, mention of past sexual assault, reader needs help

Word Count: 3.1K

“Hey,” Yelena sat down next to you. “We are planning another trip to the city. Do you want to come?”

“Sure,” you said, not looking at her. You were staring at the TV, a soccer game on, and you were mindlessly twirling a pen in your hand. The soccer game was barely registering to you. You weren’t sure who came up to talk to you before Yelena. Natasha might have been Maria. No, it had to be Tony because you had a drink on a table near you.

“Okay,” Yelena said slowly. “I think Natasha is pregnant.”

“Oh cool,” you said. You weren’t sure what she said.

“I’m secretly married.”

“Nice,” Gods, you were so tired. You weren’t sleeping well. Every night you close your eyes you are back in the Red Room or that dementated fun room.

“Are you listening?” She asked. You tore your eyes away from the TV and looked at your sister. She seemed concerned.

“Yeah, sorry, I was really into the game. I’m listening,” she didn’t believe you. Hell, you didn’t believe yourself.

“Right, I’ll let you know the details about the trip,” you nodded as Yelena stood up. You put your arms on the back of the couch. “Carol is returning tonight. Are you excited to see her?”

“Yup,” you popped the ‘p’. Were you happy to see her? You didn’t deserve her. You didn’t deserve the happiness she gave you. You didn’t deserve the way she looked at you.

“Okay, also the game is over. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, putting one leg over the other. The pen began to twirl again. You were so tired. You heard Yelena walk away.

You avoided everyone by staying in your room. You were throwing a tennis ball in the air, throwing it with your right and catching it with your left. It was mind-numbing and you needed your mind to turn off. There were too many emotions running through your - anger, guilt, sadness. You just wanted it all to stop. The door opened and you looked up. “You know I expected a better homecoming,” Carol smirked, her arms crossed.

“Hi,” you said but you didn’t move. She raised an eyebrow and walked into your room. She sat on your bed. “How is Monica?” You asked.

“She’s good. How are you?”

“I’m good,” you forced a smile on your face. “Just tired.”

“Do you want to take a nap before dinner?” That sounded nice. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in her arms and fall asleep. She was so warm and safe. But you didn’t deserve it. You were silent for too long. “Hey, if you don’t want to, I can leave.”

“No!” She was surprised by the outburst. “Sorry,” you rubbed your hands over your face. “Sorry, I haven’t been feeling well.”

“Do you want me to go get you something? Helen can get something to help you sleep,” you shook your head. You didn’t want to be sedated. Too many times you were drugged in the Red Room and you woke up with someone on top of you.

“Can you just lay with me?” You asked.

“Of course,” you sat up and pulled down the covers. Carol lay down next to you. “Can I hold you?” You nodded, moving to your side. You felt her arm move around your waist and pulled you close so your back was flushed against her front. Her breath caused goosebumps on your neck. Something was wrong. Her touch normally felt comfortable and safe but now it made your skin hurt. Why did it hurt?

Wanda made a chicken alfredo with garlic bread and salad. There weren't many at the compound - Sam was in Wakanda and Rhodey and Vision were in DC. You were pushing the noodles around your bowl, half listening to the conversation taking place. You think Tony was making fun of Steve but that happened daily. You took a small bite of your chicken but it made your stomach flip. The smell was making you nauseous. What gave you the right to sit here and have a home-cooked meal? You were just as bad as Dreyokv. You watched him control so many young girls and you did nothing to stop him. You were a monster. Your hands were stained with blood and the piles of bodies you were responsible for were so high. “Y/n,” your name snapped you out of your spiral. Natasha was staring at you. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you said automatically. “Just tired,” you finished the glass of water. “Thank you, Wands for dinner. I’m gonna get some sleep. I have an early morning call with Melina.” You gathered your barely-eaten food and put it into the kitchen. After weakly saying goodnight to everyone, you made your way back to your room. You went right to the bathroom and turned on the shower. It would take a while for the water to heat up. You stripped out of your sweatpants and T-shirt and stared at your reflection in the mirror. Your skin was littered with scars from beatings and missions. You were disgusted with yourself. Shaking your head, you stepped into the water. You gasped and hissed as the hot water hit your skin. But you accepted the pain. The pain was good. You rested your head against the tile wall.

Sometimes you could hear him, feel his hands on your skin, and his hot breath near his ear. You were always on high alert because you never knew where he was going to be waiting for you. You bite down on the knuckle of your thumb. The spark of pain brought you back to reality. “He’s dead,” you mumbled. “He’s dead.” But what if he wasn’t? Natasha and Yelena believed he was dead before or what if someone took his place. Bringing down the Red Room, pissed off a lot of people. Were you safe even with the Avengers or were you a target and endangering everyone around you?

You stayed in the shower until your skin was red and the want went cold. You dried quickly and put the sweatpants back on and put on an old air force sweatshirt that belonged to Carol. You lay on your bed and stared up at the ceiling. There were times like this you wished you were back in the Red Room. In there, there was no time for feelings, no time to think because you were focused on surviving. You brought a pillow to your chest and curled around it. You squeezed your eyes shut and prayed for a peaceful night.

Carol watched you walk away. Your shoulders slumped as if you were holding the weight of the world on them. “What’s wrong with Big Spider?” Tony asked, sipping on his drink.

“I don’t know,” Yelena said. “She’s been like this all day.” That worried Carol.

“Her mind has been all over the place,” Wanda added. Carol sighed.

“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Carol stood up. “Maybe I can get her to tell me what’s wrong.” It was a hopeful wish but she had to try.

“Let us know if you need anything,” Natasha smiled. Carol nodded and headed into the kitchen with her food. She saw that you didn’t eat much so she made you a protein shake. It would give you something easy to eat. She walked to her room and knocked on your door. But you didn’t answer. She knocked again. Still nothing.

“FRIDAY, let me in,” the AI didn’t respond but she heard the door unlock. She carefully opened the door and saw you on your bed, hair wet from a shower, and you were wearing one of her sweatshirts. “Hey, I brought you a protein shake,” she sat down on the edge of the bed. “I noticed you didn’t eat a lot,” you sat up and stared blankly at her but followed her hand when she put the shake on the nightstand. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you whispered. “I’m fine.”

“No, you aren’t,” your eyes snapped to her. “And that’s okay. I just need you to talk to me.”

‘Talk to me.’ ‘Talk to me.’ It was as if it was the easiest thing in the world. But the words were caught in your throat. How could you tell her about the guilt that was eating at you? How when you looked at your hands all you saw was blood? That a part of you wished you died in the Red Room. “Sweetheart,” she moved to touch your cheek but you grabbed onto her hand. You stared at each other. The room grew tense in silence.

“I want to be alone,” you told her, letting go of her hand. ‘Good, push her away.’ A voice said inside your head. ‘You don’t deserve her. You're a monster. A killer.’

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Leave me alone,” your voice sounded so cold, you barely recognized it. “Go away.” She stood up.

“I’ll give you space but I’m here, okay? Just come find me,” you ignored her and watched her leave. She closed the door behind her. ‘You drove her away,’ The voice taunted. ‘She hates you. How could she ever want to be with someone like you?’ You groaned, placing your feet on the floor and covering your ears. You wanted the voices to stop. You knew you were a bad person but the constant voices telling you over and over again were killing you.

“Please,” you whimpered. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” ‘You are pathetic. Weak,’ it continued. ‘No one cares about you. How did you ever keep them safe?’ You fell to the ground. “Stop, please. I’m sorry. You're right.”

“Why are you sitting on the floor?” Yelena asked. Carol looked up.

“She wanted to be left alone but I wanted to be close,” Truth be told, Carol was worried. You scared her. She’s never heard your voice sound so void of emotion. Yelena sat down next to her. “I’m worried about her but I don’t know what to do.”

“Black Widows are trained to bottle their feelings. She won’t ask for help until it becomes bad.” Great. That was what Carol was afraid of. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. She remembered Yelena and Natasha telling her to be patient, that you needed time to be your own person. She would give you all the time in the world because she loved you.

“Captain Danvers, Miss. Y/n is in distress.” Carol stood up and threw your door open. She saw you standing up on the wall punching over and over again. She sprung into action and ran over to you. She grabbed onto your arms and pulled you into her chest. You didn’t relax but fought against her as Carol brought you down to the ground.

“Sh, baby, you're safe. You're safe,” Carol held you tighter. You were struggling less but you still kept hitting Carol’s chest. “It’s me, baby girl. It’s me. Whatever is in your head isn’t real,” you stopped fighting but you kept lightly hitting your chest. It didn’t hurt. “It’s me and Yelena. We got you.” Yelena walked over to you and knelt beside you.

“It’s okay,” Yelena said. “You're safe.” Your eyes were wide and frantic. “We got you,” it was as if the dame broke and you held onto Carol and cried into her shirt.

You weren’t sure how long you cried but Carol picked you up and sat you down on your bed. Yelena ran to go get a first aid kit. Carol sat down next to you in silence but kept your non-injured hand in hers, squeezing it. It kept you grounded. Soon Yelena came back with the first aid kit. “Let me see your hand,” you gave it to her. It was already starting to heal but you knew she needed to make sure you were okay. So, she whipped the blood on your knuckles.

“You don’t have to talk to us right now,” Carol said. “But we are here for you. All of us -Wanda, Natasha, and Maria.”

“Why?” You asked softly. Yelena paused what she was doing to look at you. “Why? You know what I’ve done.”

“You were forced to do those things,” Yelena said, returning to her task.

“I should have stopped him.”

“How?” Your sister asked. “Tell me how you would have stopped him without him killing you,” you couldn’t give her a good answer because there was none. “You are a victim forced to do horrible things. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Why does it hurt so much?” You whispered, your head falling onto Carol’s shoulder.

“Grief is a powerful emotion,” Carol kissed the top of your head. “It comes and goes in waves.”

“It fucking sucks,” you mumbled. It caused them to laugh.

“What do you need?” Yelena asked. You weren’t sure what you needed. You wanted the noise to stop.

“Food and sleep,” you told them.

“We can help with that.” But you didn’t want them to help, you didn’t deserve their help.

Your talk with Yelena and Carol didn’t change your behavior but it got worse. You isolated yourself in your room and barely ate. The only time you came out of your room was to train until your body gave out. It was the only way to stop the nightmares. It went on for 5 more days until Natasha burst through your door while you were changing. “Most people knock,” you said. “I could have been naked.”

“Here is what’s going to happen, you are going to go to the kitchen and sit your ass down to eat,” she crossed her arms. “Or I’m going to drag you to Helen and she’s going to put a feeding tube down your throat.” Your blood ran cold. That was the last thing you wanted. But you rolled your eyes.

“I like to see you try,” even in your weakened state you were a better fighter than Natasha.

“Do you want to die?” She asked.

“Maybe,” you admitted. Natasha uncrossed her arms and stared at you.

“Time out,” she said. “Are you serious?” You shrugged, sitting on the ground, your back against your bed. Natasha sat down in front of you. “Can you please talk to me?” You brought one of your knees to your chest.

“It became too much,” you whispered. “The anger, the guilt, the jealousy. It got too loud. I just wanted it to be quiet, you know?” Natasha nodded.

“So you started to hurt yourself to silence it?” She questioned.

“Pain made everything quiet. It’s all I know,” you shrugged. “There aren’t gentle touches or hugs in the Red Room, all there is pain.”

“Do you think you deserve that pain? Like a punishment,” you nodded. “Do you think I deserve pain?” Your eyes shut up to look at hers.

“What? No, of course not!” She smiled.

“Then why do you think you do?” She questioned. “I had a hand in keeping the Red Room active for as long as it was,” you opened your mouth to argue but Natasha held up your hand to stop you. “I could have come back to find you and I didn’t but if I did we would have known about the Red Room sooner. Do you blame me?” You shook your head. You didn’t. The whole situation was so complicated and messy. “Then why do you blame yourself?” You sighed. “I get it,” she continued. “That guilt is demobilizing. But that blame for what happened to us is in the hand of a man who is dead,” Natasha took your hand in hers.

“You're worrying us, sestra. Yelena and I need you” squeezed your hand. “I know you don’t think you deserve this but you do. You deserve love, happiness, and to live. Because by living, you are winning and beating everyone that tried to keep you down,” you whipped the tears away with your free hand.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I didn’t mean to worry everyone. I’ll get help.”

“It’s not easy,” Natasha admitted. “But you have us.” You nodded.

“I know. Thank you.”

When Carol returned to the compound, you were there to greet her. “Well hello stranger,” you smiled and held out your hand. She took it and you brought her into a hug. She dropped her duffle bag to the floor and wrapped her arms around your waist. Your hands found a place on the back of her neck. Her touch didn’t hurt. She felt like home again. “What was that for?” She asked, pulling away so she could look at you.

“Just missed you,” you played with the baby hairs on the back of her neck. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” you bite your lip, suddenly feeling nervous. You felt her rub small circles on your hips to ease your nerves.

“Can I kiss you?” She smiled.

“Yes,” she nodded. You felt your heart beating as you closed the distance and your lips touched hers. Her lips were soft against your lips. She didn’t control the kiss or try to dominate it like other people you’ve kissed. She let you set the pace. You ended it, pulling away slightly so that you could still feel her breath against your lips.

“Thank you,” you whispered against her lips.

“Why are you thanking me?” She asked.

“For being patient with me.”

“Oh baby girl,” you liked when she called you that. She placed a piece of your hair behind your ear. “I’ll wait for you because honestly, I don’t want anyone else.” You smiled, reconnecting your lips with hers. This time you felt her hands tighten on your hips but still didn’t force you. This woman was going to be the death of you.

“You told me that you just wanted me to talk to you,” you said. “I wasn’t ready then but I am now.”

“Okay,” she kissed your cheek. “Whatever you feel comfortable telling me. I won’t force you,” you laughed, shaking your head. “What’s so funny?” She had a confused look on her face.

“I just don’t know what I did in life to deserve you,” she chuckled.

“That’s funny. I was thinking the same thing,” you grabbed her hand and led her back into the compound. It was hard for your brain to let you believe that you deserve anything good, beautiful, and light because of how much darkness you endured. But even after the darkest nights and the strongest rain storms - the sun will shine again.

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empress-alexandra · 13 days

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Grand Duchess Olga Nicholaievna of Russia, 1903.

#Grand Duchess Olga Nicholaievna of Russia #Grand Duchess Olga Nicholaievna #Grand Duchess Olga #Grand Duchess Olga of Russia #otma #romanov sisters #romanovs #imperial russia #imperial family #russian imperial family #colored photography #history colored #1903 #1900s #1900s fashion #edwardian

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krasivaa · 6 months

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✨Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna Romanova of Russia✨

my edit made by using CapCut 🤍

#romanov #romanovs #tatiana nikolaevna #grand duchess tatiana #tatiana romanova #my edit #capcut #tatiana edit #t #otma #romanov sisters #😍😍#trends

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postcard-from-the-past · 22 days

Text

Romanov Imperial sisters

Russian vintage postcard

#vintage #tarjeta #briefkaart #romanov imperial #postcard #photography #postal #carte postale #sepia #ephemera #historic #russian #ansichtskarte #postkarte #imperial #sisters #romanov #postkaart #photo

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lots-of-pockets · 1 year

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Attack of the bugs

Pairings: Natasha x reader

Warnings: just a little (or a lot) of swearing!

Words: a little over 600

Summary: a mosquito breaks into your house and chaos ensues!

"Nat, fucking get it!" You yell as you use the smaller woman's body as a human shield, arms tightly grasping her waist.

Natasha scowls as she attempts to hit the mosquito currently flying around your living room with a rolled up magazine , "I'm fucking trying but you holding me like is isn't fucking helping!" She spits back, abruptly ducking when the creature flies over their head.

You ignore her, and if possible, your grasp tightens as you drop to the floor with her and let out a loud squeal.

"I swear to fucking god Nat..." You warn, but your threat falls upon deaf ears when Natasha lurches forward bringing you with her.

"Y'know what, let me go," Natasha pries your arms off of her waist, "I'm trying to kill it, but with you screaming in my ear and practically squeezing me to death it's kind of impossible so take a fucking chill pill would you?"

You glare at her, but she ignores it and instead brings her attention to the creature that had broken into their home. It was still now, on the lampshade of the light but Natasha couldn't do shit considering it was ten times taller than she was.

She continues to eye the mosquito as she brings up her foot to pull off her shoe, and once it was firmly in her grasp she throws it in the general direction of where the bug was resting. She wasn't about to aim properly as that'd smash the lightbulb.

Like she wanted, it flies away but her eyes widen in horror when it lands on your head. You freeze, and Natasha watches as your eyes fills with tears.

"Shh, don't move," she whispers as she takes a small step closer, tightening her grasp around the rolled up magazine.

You, eyes wide and terrified, watch as your girlfriend slowly makes her way closer. When you realise what she was about to do, you hold out your hand making the woman freeze in place, "You're not killing that fucking thing on my head Natalia" you whisper angrily.

Natasha throws her hands up into the air, "Then what in the hell do you expect me to do?" She whispers back.

You don't say anything, and Natasha takes that as permission to move forward again. Once close enough, she lifts the hand with the magazine in and drops it down onto your head with a large 'smack'

It was silent for a second, almost deathly, but you break it by letting out a string of curse words before storming out of the room. Natasha bites her bottom lip to refrain from laughing, but she ultimately fails when she realises what had just transpired.

You'd both been home from work for a little under an hour. You'd had eaten dinner and showered before finally settling down onto the couch to watch a movie. Next thing Natasha knows you were screaming, and it took her about fifty million attempts to get what was wrong out of you. A spluttered 'bug' had tumbled out of your mouth and that was when Natasha had immediately grabbed the magazine with intention of killing it. Plans soon halted when you had clung to her, and well, you know the rest.

Before she could even begin to attempt consoling herself, her hand was grabbed and she was being pulled up the stairs by a firm hand on her wrist.

"What are you doing?" She breaths out as she wipes the tears that had fallen.

You glare back at her, "You killed it on my head so you're washing it out." You demand.

Natasha bites back another round of laughter as she nods her head, "Yes ma'am."

If you have any requests be sure to let me know!

#black widow #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #soft natasha romanoff #natasha x y/n #fluff #yelena belova #widow sisters

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creative-caramel-coffee · 3 days

Text

The Spiders Sister - Chapter 4

Summary: Reader goes shopping with Pepper, Wanda and Nat. It ends a bit early though when reader starts to struggle with her senses.

TW: overstimulation, flirting, speeding, domestic fluff (hehe)

Words: 3.8K

A/n I changed the floor layout my bad. Also, I planned like 16 chapters of this fic so far and there will probs be more. Now i’m just worried I’ll end up loosing interest and not finishing it 😭 and I’ve been up since 2am. I slept for two hours 💀

After a dinner of pizza and other takeaway foods Tony had bought, Wanda and you headed back to the floor with Peters room.

Stepping out of the lift Wanda led you to where you had been staying for the past few days while Nat went ahead to your new room put sheets on your bed.

Your room would be on the same floor as Natasha and Wanda’s. It was also where Yelena and Kate stayed when they were in town as well as Carol when she was on earth.

You reached the door and headed into peters room. It didn’t take long to gather your things. You grabbed the backpack with some clothes in it, all of which were dirty by now as well as your tablet, computer and sketching supplies.

Once you had shoved most of it into the bag and had your laptop in your arms you followed wanda back out the door.

Despite your very comprehensive tour of the compound, you still didn’t know where you were going.

Wanda and you got back into the lift and set out for your new room.

The lift was filled with idle chatter as Wanda caught you up on the avengers love lives. Tony and pepper were together while the rest were still living the bachelor life.

Feeling a little bold you decided to ask her.

“What about you?” You asked. “Are you seeing anyone?” You clarified when she shot you a confused look.

“Not currently.” Wanda said studying the rarely used buttons on the lift. Jarvis often did all of that for you.

“Ok cool.” You said before stuttering. “I mean not ‘cool’ but its not uncool” you began rambling only cut off by the angelic sound of Wanda’s giggles.

Your cheeks were rosy as she smiled at you.

“Your cute when your flustered.” She said with a wink just as the doors opened and she stepped out. You were frozen for a second before gathering yourself and following her out half a pace behind.

As you trailed after Wanda down the halls she turned to look over her shoulder at you. “You coming sweetheart?” She asked and you nodded speeding up your steps to walk beside her.

As you rounded another corner she slowed. “This is my room.” Wanda said gesturing to a closed door. “And that’s Nat’s.” She gestured to the door next to hers. “This is your room.” She said walking down to the door halfway between Wanda’s and Natasha’s on the opposite side of the hallway.

The door to your room was open as Nat was sat on your freshly made bed with a grin.

“Wondering when you were getting here.” Natasha smirked making Wanda roll her eyes at her.

You stepped into the room. It was large with a king bed and huge windows that let in natural light, or at least it would if it was daytime. It was past evening now and almost nine pm. The New York skyline was just as beautiful, however.

You set your bag and laptop down on the desk before sitting down next to Natasha on the bed.

The walls were white and grey. There was a big desk near the windows and a bedside table on each side of the bed. A door was off to the side which you assumed led to a bathroom. There was also a second door which must have been a wardrobe. Other than a lamp on the bedside and a Tv mounted on the wall, the room was bare.

“We’ll get thing to decorate when we go shopping tomorrow.” Nat said almost as if she could read your mind. More likely she could read your expression and body language.

“Sounds perfect.” You said with a smile.

“Do you have clothes you can sleep in tonight?” Wanda asked and you shuffled your feet before looking up at her.

“Er… no?” You said.

“Are you asking me or telling me sweetheart?” Wanda asked coyly making a blush rise on your cheeks.

“Telling?” You said still sounding unsure of yourself.

“Very well then. I’m sure Nat and I can find something for you to sleep in for tonight.” Wanda said looking to Nat for her opinion. The widow nodded and you felt yourself relax slightly.

“Thank you guys. I wasn’t looking forward to wearing dirty clothes in a clean bed tonight.’ You said sighing in relief.

“Are all your clothes dirty?” Nat asked eyeing your backpack.

“Yeah.” You huffed.

“We’ll find you something to wear tomorrow as well then, just until we can sort out some new clothes and laundry. Sound good?” Nat asked and you nodded.

“Yes, thank you.” You said.

“No need to thank us darling. Your quite welcome.” Nat purred and you felt yourself resist a shiver as her words danced close to your ear. The hair on the back of your neck swaying slightly under her breath as your skin tingled with the heat of her words.

You swallowed trying to regain your composure much to both women’s amusement.

“T-thanks.” You stuttered.

“Already said that darling.” Wanda chuckled and your blush deepened.

“Your so easy to mess with.” Nat said laughing from beside you.

You just glared at them and went to take the things out of your backpack while Wanda and Natasha left to find some clothes for you in their cupboards.

You had just finished setting down the last of your art supplies on the desk when Nat walked in loosely holding a faded black shield T-shirt that immediately knew was hers from how worn it looked. It also looked to be almost two sizes too big for Nat, so you shot her a questioning look.

She shrugged. “Its comfier to sleep in when its too big, and it kept the other boys I trained with back in the day from being able to stare at my ass.” She said with a wink.

“Whats this about Nat’s ass?” Wanda said walking in with a sly grin as your cheeks heated and you buried your face in your hands with a groan.

You heard the two of them high-five and rolled your eyes.

“Here.” Wanda said and you felt the bed dip beside you.

Wanda was holding out a pair of red track-pants which you took with a smile.

A second later Nat threw the shirt at you with a laugh as it landed on your head. You pulled it off and glared at her.

“You’re a menace.” You declared and Wanda hid a giggle behind her hand.

“Sure thing sweet cheeks.” Nat said rolling her eyes. “Now it’s bed time kiddo.” She said and motioned for wanda to leave as well.

“Im not a kid Romanoff.” You said and she smirked at the use of her last name, having been able to get under your skin successfully.

Wanda cuffed Nat but she ducked and took off down the hall. Wanda rolled her eyes and sighed. “Ignore her, she’s been drinking too much coffee lately.” Wanda said and bid you goodnight before retreating to capture the other redhead and force her to sleep.

You grinned at the shut door like a lovesick puppy before shaking yourself out of it. You changed into the clothes which smelt like them and made you feel safe.

Sliding under the sheets and getting comfy, you listened to the hallways to see if anyone was coming back. When you were met with silence, you reached over your backpack and pulled out a small white stuffed teddy.

Curling up with it under your arm, you buried your face in Nat’s shirt and fell asleep thinking of the two pretty redheads down the hall.

The next morning you were up bright and early. Having slept well for the first time in weeks.

You found your way to the communal kitchen just in time to run into Natasha who was coming back from early morning training in the compound gym.

“Hi Y/n/n.” Nat said smiling as she went to grab a bottle of cold water from the fridge.

“Morning Natty.” You said with a smile.

“You're in a good mood.” Nat said looking amused as she took a big swig from the water bottle in her hands.

“Yep.” You said popping the P.

“Do you know if Wanda’s up?” Nat asked and before you could respond someone else did for you.

“I’m up.” Wanda said entering the kitchen.

“Morning.” You smiled.

“Morning Y/n. Who wants breakfast?” Wanda asked gravitating to the pots and pans in the drawers beside you.

“I’ll have some.” You said with a smile as you took a seat by the counter.

“Put me down for some too, I’m just going to go and have a shower before breakfast then we can head out ok?” Nat said as she refilled the water bottle and put it back in the fridge.

“Sounds good.” Wanda said as she began pulling things out of the fridge.

“Umm… where are we going today?” You asked feeling a little lost. Nat had already taken her leave for a shower so it was just you and wanda now.

“Don’t tell me you forgot?” Wanda said looking amused.

“Forgot … what? … exactly?” You asked.

“The girls shopping trip?” Wanda said.

“Oh yeah!” You exclaimed sitting up a little taller in a way that made Wanda’s heart stutter.

“So… how did you sleep?” Wanda asked.

“I slept well, how ‘bout you?” You asked watching as wanda beat the pancake batter within and inch of its life.

“Good, good. It’s a bit hit and miss some nights but last night wasn’t too bad.” Wanda said vaguely as she turned around the pour the batter into the pan.

After Nat returned and the three of you had eaten what could only be described as the best pancakes known to man, you got ready and headed for the garage.

Pepper was meeting you at the shopping centre a bit later after she sorted out some stark industries meetings this morning.

“You ready?” Wanda said putting an arm around your shoulders. You jumped in surprise making Nat laugh and Wanda frown.

“Too busy daydreaming there, Parker?” Nat asked with a grin, and you glared at her.

“No, just planning your murder.” You said with a wink before blow if her a kiss that made Nat roll her eyes at you.

“Alright, enough you two.” Wanda said giving you a small shove before punching Nat in the arm.

“Get in.” Nat said opening a door for you to the backseat and waving her hand toward the car's interior.

“This feels personal.” You grumbled as the two redheads took the front seat.

“It is.” Nat grinned as the engine hummed to life. You were taking one of Tonys’ many fancy, and very expensive cars. Nat’s favourite was the Bugatti La Voiture Noire, but it was only two seats, so you were left with the choice of a Mercedes Mayback or a Ford Mustang both of which had four seats.

In the end Nat had opted for the mustang and the three of you had piled in to head off.

With Nat driving you must have arrived in record time; it was no secret the redheaded assassin was a speed demon and Tony had begun framing her speeding tickets in the garage on the wall. The government always came to her aid if the police ever tried to take her license as it was argued she needed it to quote “save New York”

Of course, you hadn’t known this before hand and had let out a small scream as Nat took off at breakneck speed out of the garage.

One very fast car trip later the three of you were stood by the door the mall waiting for pepper to join you.

It had barely been five minutes before the last redhead showed up. Pepper was actually on time; Nat’s driving had just made you all early.

As pepper walked over Nat decided to tease her a little.

“Picking up on Tony’s habits there, pep?” Nat asked.

“Oh please.” Pepper rolled her eyes. “I’m the only reason he’s even at any of his meetings at all. Without me he wouldn’t just be late, he’d be missing.” She said and Nat laughed.

“True.” The assassin nodded.

“Alright, lets do this.” Pepper said smiling at you and Wanda.

The four of you headed into the mall. It was a little crowded but nobody seemed to mind. You just crossed your fingers that your spider senses stayed in check.

Pepper had barely made it ten feet in the door before she was dragging Natasha into a very expensive looking boutique.

This was how you spent the next hour. Pepper and Wanda dragged you and Natasha around, stopping at every pretty dress shop and expensive looking store in the complex.

After about an hour you were beginning to nurse a small headache and the tingle in the back of your mind told you all you needed to know for what was going to happen.

Nat had just stopped at a rack nearby before pulling wanda over to her. Holding out a dress you saw Wanda’s lips moving as she nodded, and Nat took the dress and disappeared into the change rooms.

It was a tight red cocktail dress and when Nat came back out to show it off you swear your jaw unhinged and landed on the floor.

It hugged her in all the right places.

Wanda was too busy ogling Nat to notice your reaction but pepper snorted a laugh before covering her mouth.

Nat pouted.

“What? Does it not look good?” Nat asked and you shot pepper a pleading look but she just smiled.

“No … no. I’d just say its … jaw dropping.” Pepper said winking at you as you glared at her with flushed cheeks.

“Yeah?” Nat asked raising an eyebrow and shooting you a look. “Then I guess I’ll have to get it then won’t i?” Nat said and you nodded eagerly. “Your lucky your cute Detka.” She said as she brushed past you on her way back to the change room. “Because your drooling.” She whispered in your ear and your blush darkened a good two shades of crimson.

Your headache was still getting worse and about a half hour later it was almost reaching full force.

You had found a dress and Nat was carrying four bags, one with a dress for you and her and the other three had a few random pieces of clothing for your day to day wardrobe and some room décor.

Just as you were beginning to think you wouldn’t be able to take anymore Wanda suggested the four of you get lunch from the café downstairs.

By now you were surprised none of them had noticed your discomfort, despite trying to hide it it was still bothering you.

The fluorescent strip lights that lit the mall were too bright and seemed to be burning your retinas with each blink.

The noise level despite not exceeding regular mall noise levels was almost deafening in your sensitive ears.

Even the mixed smells of fast food and perfumes was making your head swim.

Your headache pounded behind your eyes as well as almost throughout your full skull. There was a buzzing in your ears that sounded like the electricity in the walls that simply wouldn’t shut up.

Your stomach was rolling from the mixed smells and it was just too loud and too bright.

As you slid into the booth next to Nat, with wanda and pepper on the other side facing you, you resisted the urge to crawl under the table and cry.

Your headache thundered in your ears and pounded on your skull.

Your headache was in full force and Pepper must have noticed how quiet you were being as she looked you over with a knowing gaze.

She took note of your pinched brow and slightly sweaty forehead, how you were biting down on your lip and squinting. As well as how you flinched as someone in the café banged their cutlery against their plate.

Wanda noticed peppers look and was now looking at you too with a frown which drew Natasha’s eyes to you as well.

The conversation had reached a lull as all three women studied you. You were too zoned out to notice their attention all being on you.

“Y/n?” Wanda asked slowly.

“Yeah?” You said looking up and sounding absolutely wreaked.

“Are you ok?” Wanda said looking slightly worried.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You said not even believing your own words. Your voice was lathered in a tired tone. You shook your head while saying this only managing to anger your headache more as you winced and brought a hand to your head, squeezing your eyes shut tight.

Feeling nauseous you leant on nat and rested you head on her shoulder. Nat seemed almost surprised at your sudden desire for contact.

She held you close to her as your body relaxed into her side having no more energy to hold yourself up.

“Y/n?” Pepper asked softly.

“Mmm?” You hummed as you vaguely heard shuffling before you sensed someone close to you.

Opening an eye slightly you saw pepper crouching next to you.

“Y/n?” she asked softly. “Do you get the same thing peter does honey?” Her voice stayed low and quiet. You turned your face into Nat’s neck and weighed up your options before giving a small nod.

You miss the frown that adorns Wanda’s lips at the news that something was wrong and pepper seemed to know what it was despite you never having mentioned anything about this.

Pepper stood again and looked over at Nat and Wanda.

“She’ll be alright. Just stay here and I’ll be back. I’ll explain in a minute.” Pepper said and she took off in a brisk walk to a nearby shop.

After pepper had darted off she wove through the crowd and into a tech store, making a purchase before making one more stop and then hightailing it back to the café.

When she returned you’s seemingly not moved an inch while Wanda and Nat were talking in hushed tones. Nat had her arm around you and was holdin the back of your head into her neck as you seemed to be almost trembling from all the overstimulation.

When pepper came back Wanda sat a little straighter while Nat eyes the two new shopping bags pepper was carrying.

Pepper came to crouch beside you giving you a small nudge that set your skin on fire.

“Y/n?” She asked softly. “Can you look at me honey, you can keep your eyes shut, I promise these will help.” She said coaxing you out of Nat’s neck.

You faced her with your eyes squeezed shut as she slid a black pair of noise cancelling headphones over your ears and switching them on.

The blissful sound of quiet almost made you cry as your headache lessened. A moment later you felt pepper place something on your face before cautiously opening one eye to find the world dimmer and more tolerable.

Now decked out with the headphones and sunglasses you felt a lot better. You were exhausted and the headache was still present just less intense.

You watched as Wanda, Nat and Pepper conversed, the sound not reaching you. Pepper seemed to be explaining what was happening to them based off the sad look wanda gave you.

Pepper explained that your powers increased your senses, and that in the right conditions they were very helpful in fights. But were more than problematic in a domestic setting. She explained that it wasn’t unheard of for peter to get overstimulated when out or somewhere loud. She went on to tell them she recognised the look peter had when he tried to simple tough it out when they went out.

Wanda felt awful that your powers had caused you pain.

Nat however was already planning to talk to tony about getting something built to help.

Once pepper had explained the extent of the issue and some of the things that helped, the three seemed to change gears, looking to be making plans now instead.

After they had finished talking Pepper decided to try something.

She turned to face you and moved her hands to form some simple signs. Your face lit up in recognition.

*How are you feeling? * Pepper signed.

*tired* you signed back.

Nat and Wanda looked surprised.

“How did you know she knew sign?” Wanda asked.

“Peter seemed to know some when he first was with us.” Pepper explained. “I assumed Y/n might also know some if peter did.”

You could tell what they had asked. “My dad was hard of hearing. He taught us sign at a young age before … he died.” You said and pepper nodded.

*We are going to go home* pepper signed but you shook your head.

*you stay here, I’ll go. I don’t want to ruin things* you signed.

*nonsense* pepper signed and you knew based off Nat’s eyes she was following along.

Nat had learnt sign language from Clint in the academy when they were partners. Clint had insisted in case his hearing aid were ever damaged in a fight.

You sighed realising you weren’t going to win this one.

*ok* you signed and hesitated for a moment before continuing. *thank you*. You signed.

*your welcome* pepper signed back and Wanda offered her hand to you.

Holding Wanda’s hand, the four of you headed for the car park.

You felt bad for ruining the trip, but Nat shot you a look when she saw you getting lost in your head that banished all thoughts.

Once you were in the car, Wanda had insisted on driving. Nat was riding with pepper to try and find out more about what was going on. You kept the headphones and sunnies on the whole ride home as you zoned out slightly.

Wanda droves slowly so she didn’t throw you around while Pepper and Nat sped back to try and organise things for when you get back.

When you arrived, you were almost asleep leaning into the passenger door.

Wanda coaxed you out of the car and led you by the hand up the lift and down the hall to her room.

You were beyond exhausted as Wanda lifted the sheets and got you settled under the thick comforter.

She ordered Jarvis to dim the lights and soundproof the room. She thanked Tony for the added features in her mind as she felt you snuggle into her side.

A few moments later the door opened slightly to reveal Nat and Pepper peaking in.

“Is she asleep?” Nat asked and Wanda studied your breathing.

“Not yet.” Wanda responded.

“Well we have some pain meds for her.” Pepper said as they both came inside and handed wanda a glass of water.

After coaxing you into taking some medicine, you laid back down against Wanda was was massaging your head as you melted in her lap.

Pepper and Nat had dropped by Bruces lab to pick up peters pain meds for you before coming to Wanda’s room where Jarvis said they could find you.

You fell asleep not long after taking the medicine which had finally gotten rid of your headache.

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