#maybe i'll post a round 2 sometime

[marley-manson]

the topic is Trapper and the army as foils, you have three hours, go

In no small part the satire of Mash, particularly in the first half of the show, is tied up with gender performance.

The army represents traditional, stifling and violent masculinity. This is shown through everything from freudian jokes about guns (eg Frank and Margaret's flirtations in The Sniper or The Gun), to Margaret trying to cajole Hawkeye into performing a more traditional standard of masculinity while treating him like a soldier in Comrades in Arms Part 2, to many jokes and comments about (usually) Hawkeye not being a real man in contrast to army standards and various specific army personnel (eg Lyle in Springtime, Flagg in White Gold), to Frank and Margaret's worship of the masculinity of the army ("He's twice the man you'll ever be," re: Flagg and Hawkeye, Margaret's lust for MacArthur, Frank pursuing the sniper in The Sniper in an attempt to be a "real man" in Margaret's eyes, etc) to many jokes positioning the military as a sexually aggressive man pursuing Hawkeye ("Sure, the sun the moon the stars, your high school letterman jacket. Same deal I promised nurse Baker." "A receipt please, and promise you'll go out with other doctors," etc.)

In contrast, the main characters all fail to perform traditional gender in some way, from crossdressing to immaturity to indecisiveness to peacefulness to Margaret's masculinity and Frank's pathetic failure to live up to his own masculine ideals, to just about everything about Hawkeye. His cowardliness, his jokes about not being a real man, his jokes about taking the feminine role in sexual encounters with men and women, even multiple double entendres about his average at best penis size.

Trapper is the most traditionally masculine of the main cast. He still subverts masculinity in some subtle ways here and there, such as the occasional feminizing joke and mentions of not being in great shape, but overall he's the more butch counterpart to Hawkeye's fem. He plays the role of boxer while Hawkeye plays the role of diva in their respective manager/star roleplaying episodes. He's broader and buffer and plays football, often seen playing catch with someone while walking around the compound, while Hawkeye disdains sports and doesn't participate. He reads Field and Stream which Hawkeye derides in Alcoholics Unanimous while making a wry comment about shaving his armpits. A past lover nicknamed him Big John.

And there are many, many jokes about Hawkeye and Trapper being sexual partners. The recurring Uncle Trapper and Aunt Hawkeye gag, if my father sees this you'll have to marry me, for me? only if you put those on, your father and I will tell you what we did to have you, that's when I fell in love with him, etc etc etc. It's constant. In these jokes Hawkeye usually takes the feminine role, though not strictly every time ("Me and the missus," is one exception in As You Were, the dance in Yankee Doodle Doctor is another).

Trapper's masculinity is differentiated from traditional military masculinity in a few ways. Most obviously, Trapper abhors the military's violence. He never uses guns and mocks Frank's obsession with them, he's a healer rather than a soldier, and he's disgusted by the results of military violence on the men on his operating table.

He's also secure in himself. The military's brand of masculinity is strongly characterized by insecurity and overcompensation. Frank is the main representative of this military insecurity - a coward who insists he's brave (The Army Navy Game), a man who clings to a phallic gun to compensate for his sexual and gendered inadequacies (a main theme of The Sniper, perfectly mirrored when the army itself comes in with a vastly disproprotionately powerful automatic machine gun on a helicopter to shoot down one sixteen year old), a homophobe repressing his own attraction to men (As You Were, the original script of George), etc. We also see this in Flagg, who implicitly sublimates sexual urges into violence (seen when he suggestively caresses his gun while describing how he wants to torture a boy in Officer of the Day).

Trapper doesn't need to overcompensate. He's well-endowed physically, he's portrayed as a competent and considerate lover, he's a brave man who doesn't mind being seen as a coward, and he may or may not be attracted to men but either way he's not a homophobe (George) and he doesn't express his sexuality through violence. When Margaret proves herself stronger than him, his response is to be impressed rather than offended (Bombed). When he dances with Hawkeye for a gag, he doesn't mind letting Hawkeye lead.

He's also differentiated in terms of tradition, with the mliitary representing a more propagandic 50s traditionalism, and Trapper representing a 70s, countercultural freedom from tradition. We see this in the way Trapper has plenty of sex despite being married, while adultery is a court-martial offense in the military. It's notable that he's open and carefree about it, while Frank and Margaret are surreptitious and hypocritical in their affair. This lack of traditionalism is also shown in his disrespect for authority, often in direct contrast to Frank and Margaret's worship of it, and his allyship to George who the military would persecute for his sexuality.

So ultimately we can see that while Trapper and the military are both examples of masculine performance, Trapper's masculinity differs from the military's in being more flexible, less violent, less traditional, and more secure. The military's masculinity is far more toxic than Trapper's, particularly in the context of 70s counterculture media, which aligns womanizing with sexual liberation rather than a lack of respect for women, accurately or not.

This contributes to their respective dynamics with Hawkeye.

Hawkeye, we've established, is usually more feminine, and there are a myriad of jokes characterizing Trapper as his sexual partner, as well as the military as a sexual pursuer.

The jokes Hawkeye and Trapper make about their relationship tend towards cozy domesticity. They're Radar's "aunt and uncle," they directly roleplay marriage ("Martha, we're going to have to move, the people upstairs are impossible,") and less directly behave as though married (the bickering in Alcoholics Unanimous, the discussion about naming their pony in Life With Father). Occasionally they're treated as a healthy couple in contrast to Frank and Margaret's toxicity ("While I'm gone, promise you'll go out with other doctors," vs "Touch anyone else and I'll cut off your hands" in Aid Station).

In some instances the jokes lean towards predatory - "If you're trying to get me drunk, it'll work," or "Who is this man in bed with me?" "I followed you home from the movies," but they're always playful, always fond. If Hawkeye takes on a submissive or victimized role in these jokes, it's one he has fun with and discards just as easily in the context of the rest of his relationship with Trapper.

So, it's important to note that Hawkeye and Trapper support each other and look after each other in an equal, enthusiastic friendship. From Trapper ensuring Hawkeye gets to sleep in Doctor Pierce and Mr. Hyde, to Hawkeye supporting Trapper when he wants to adopt a child, to Trapper right at Hawkeye's side as they attempt to procure an incubator, they are there for each other every step of the way. If their relationship is a marriage in some ways, it's a healthy, strong, and non-traditional marriage, an equal and open partnership free of jealousy and insecurities.

Compare that to the military's relationship with Hawkeye. In jokes it's characterized as powerful and predatory, far from an equal partnership. Sometimes it approaches positive - in Carry on Hawkeye, much of the humour is derived from Hawkeye and Margaret's gendered role reversal as she assumes military command of the unit. Hawkeye playfully calls her sir, seductively lies on her desk like a secretary in a porn film, and most notably treats an immunization shot as sexual penetration in a prolonged gag about sexual role reversal. Hawkeye has fun playing a sexually submissive role to a representative of military authority in this episode, but it is a submissive role.

Several of the one-off jokes have a similar sensibility, such as the double entendre of "My bellybutton's been puckering and unpuckering all day," in response to a representative of MacArthur assuming their excitement over the general's arrival to the unit, or Hawkeye's "Okay, take me, I'm yours," to Colonel Flagg. They demonstrate a willingness to play the receptive role on Hawkeye's part, but they also, pointedly, disturb the object of the jokes.

When Hawkeye makes these jokes that sexualize military authority, he's attempting to be provocative as well as defiantly drawing disruptive attention to his own powerlessness as a drafted surgeon. The power dynamic between Hawkeye and the authority of the military only goes one way, and Hawkeye gets a kick out of pointing it out in ways that perturb the representatives of that authority, but it's a power dynamic that takes its toll on him.

Many of Mash's plotlines revolve around Hawkeye rebelling and attempting to seize some scrap of agency back from the military. Adam's Ribs, for example, in which he starts a mild riot over the food he's being fed and spends the episode attempting to procure barbecue ribs from Chicago (which Trapper procures for him), or Back Pay where he tries to charge the military for his forced labour. A particularly notable example is Some 38th Parallels, in which Hawkeye complains about being paid the equivalent of a nickel per operation, and his frustration manifests in impotency until he can perform a gesture of rebellion against the military.

One unfortunate consistency of these episodes is that the army ultimately retains its power. When Hawkeye achieves his goals, it's only in small ways that do little more than satisfy his own need to assert his sense of self. Often, Hawkeye doesn't achieve his goal at all, but is thwarted by the army, such as in For Want of a Boot. In every instance he remains powerless in comparison to the authority of the military.

So the context in which Hawkeye makes these sexualized jokes about the military literally fucking him is one of abject helplessness. In a sense, all he's capable of is pointing out what the military is doing and putting it in his own, audacious terms. He's not capable of preventing it. His jokes usually have an edge of bitterness to them in delivery, and when they don't, that tone is imparted anyway by the greater context.

With Trapper, Hawkeye can play-act a marriage or an assault, but in either case he's an enthusiastically consenting, equal partner. Trapper's performance of masculinity allows for Hawkeye to take any role from victim to wife to husband, and enables Trapper to respond in kind from a position of equality and respect. The military, in its insecure, domineering performance of masculinity, is a dictatorial authority, never allowing Hawkeye perform any role but a feminized, victimized one, and only ever giving him the choice of whether to perform with a wry smile or a sneer.

In short, Trapper is the cool, considerate service top to the military's insecure domineering boyfriend.

I'm tagging everyone who enabled this lol, share the blame. @beansterpie @majorbaby @professormcguire @rescue-ram

#mash #this was dumb but writing it was somehow cathartic for me lol #i should've done this with frank and hawkeye as foils wrt subverting masculinity bc i think that would've been much easier #but i got caught up in this honestly. it's incredibly fun to write this kind of shit #maybe i'll post a round 2 sometime #marley on mash #ship ht #mash gs #and like... it's a little bit parodic but also sincere to an extent lol. this is absolutely one way of reading all the freudian #undercurrents in the show. it's definitely silly to contrast trapper and the military to make a point about how the show depicts #masculinity especially for like 1800 words lmao but it's a very fun angle #trapper mash #hawkeye mash #long post

[southislandwren]

ohohoho boy update. today at work it was just us doing cheese while everyone else pulled an ice cream order, and i was like hey if youre not busy saturday would you want to roadtrip with me? and i fully expected him to say no, but we are roadtripping to nebraska on saturday <3 <3 anyway what playlist do i put on in the car. do we trust him enough for get loose get looser

#music wise. i think maybe take a walk in the sun or normal music. not sure about glgl yet #i will probably put him on aux for at least half of the trip #(and when i say trip i mean like. 6-7 hours round trip. like we're not going very far for very long) #we're leaving at like 2:45-3pm and i get sleepy around 10 so not like a super good road trip for me #i told him that the way i plan trips was usually a long drive based purely off vibes but i would try to have an actual plan this time #and i asked him what time he would want to be home for work the next day since he works at 6am #and god he was so cute he was like 'i'll call off work on sunday so you can do one of your usual trips' #and yeah. sighh i am down so bad #and i HAVE to promise to be normal on this trip. i always get weird in cars late at night. #but theres Implications of him being in my car like 100 miles from home. so i cant do or say anything weird #like could you imagine being in a car with someone you dont like and they start being weird. like what the fuck do you even do. #but anyway yeah good day. he was very talkative today. and he is so cute sometimes i cant stand it #work is really fun when theres 6 of us and i can stand there while the underclassmen do all the work #boy post #oh and he said he was going to message that he was streaming skyrim but it ended up being boring #so that revealed some info. 1) twitch streamer 2) did think about texting me at least once last week 3) trusts me to know about his twitch #ugh. i would love to just hurry all this up but i have to be patient i have toooo #okay! off to take a disease quiz and then study some ice cream #talk to you later tumblrinas

[thyrinea]

Till - An Alien Stage analysis

Vivinos just dropped the teaser for Round 6. And after watching it a couple of times, I feel like I can finally understand why people were telling that this round is potentially the most emotional one yet. So here are my thought about Till as a character, and what we might expect from him in the upcoming Round. But before you go on and start reading, I want to make two quick disclaimers:

My native language is not english and sometimes I might make some mistakes, and I'm sorry for that. I'll try to make everything as cohesive as possible on this post so we don't have any miscommunication.

In the analysis, there will be a small mention of suicidal thoughts and a whole section on human experiments. If you're uncomfortable with those topics, please don't continue.

If you're ok with everything, thank you for continuing and I hope you have a good read! (Also, if you want to add something please feel free to chat with me! I love to see more theories and takes on everything)

Let's start this analysis from the very beginning, or at least the first event that we know of in regard of Till: his time at the adoption center.

(Timestamp: 00:22 - 00:24 - Teaser)

From what I gathered, this scene was first seen as a sneak peek from Vivinos' patreon and it's most likely one of, if not the very first time both of them - Till and Ivan - has seen each other. As a "troubled" kid, it's dificult to catch the eyes of someone and make them willing to have you, and seeing the discounts placed on his captivity window, we can only assume that he stayed in the adoption center for quite a while now. It's no wonder that Till is watching with awe as Ivan is being escorted away: he probably got adopted and is leaving the establishment to live somewhere else, leaving the rest only to hope to be the next chosen one. We all know that in reality, being adopted by the aliens is not a synonym to having a good life in this scenario. But for a child who has been locked in this tiny room for possibly weeks, still not knowing how society works for them, it's a dream to finally be able to get out and possibly be loved by their adopted "family". So imagine Till finally getting out of this place, after all he went through there - being rejected, seen as an unwanted individual - only to get trapped in an even worse scenario: Being used as a human experiment.

(Timestamp: 00:06, 00:11, 00:16, 00:19 - Teaser)

We can see those images are depicting something that happened after the adoption center because he's older now. We don't know how much time he had to experience those events, but if we go back to Round 2, there are some instances where he is far younger and can be seen with green stickers similar to the ones on his neck shown in the 4th image. Not only that, even on his performance on Round 2, we can see them on display. So there is a chance that he had to deal with all of this for years. Yes, he was not alone during everything, but we don't know what happened to everyone who was in this same scenario. All we know is that the faces seen on the panel during the teaser, was never once seen again.

(Timestamp: 00:19 - Teaser)

It even seems that one has perished in one of the images shown in the teaser. For all we know, everyone but Till might be dead by the time Alien Stage begins for the main cast... And living in fear not knowing if you're going to be the next one to die during an experiment is a really terrifying reality he probably had to face. And yet, during all that, he even had to go to Anakt garden to train to become a singer, and possibly go to Alien stage.

(Timestamp: 00:57 - Round 2)

At least, somewhere around his time on Anakt garden, he found something worth living for: Mizi. She became his beacon of light. We don't know what happened but knowing Mizi's character, she has probably shown him what happiness looks like, maybe became the first one to interact with him and show him he's someone. Not a product, not an experiment, but an individual. And he really wanted to continue having this feeling again. To be happy, just like her, with her. This admiration that flourished from him is most likely what made this crush Till has for her blossom. It's kind of an unhealthy dependancy if we put the spotlight on this relationship, he would even go as far as refuse to escape from everything with ivan - who is shown to be the only other person who interacts with him, that he considers a friend - and have freedom if she's not present. It's as if he doesn't know if he can truly be happy if she's not around. I'll make another analysis on Ivan and Till's relationship on the kindergarden once Round 6 goes live. Trust me, if I start talking about them here, I would literally not shut up and the analysis would have another 1000 words. But for now I really want to emphasize how both are seen as "weirdos", and started talking more because they really only had each other. Despite the differences and the bickering, Till holds Ivan close to him as well.

(Timestamp: 00:19 - Teaser)

And now, We're on Round 6: Where Till has nothing to fight for. His whole life was purely a tragedy - he had seen and experienced some of the worst things that a human could go through in this world, and despite trying his best to fight against all odds, he's back on square one. He's been defeated. Mizi is missing, and in his eyes, possibly dead. And now he is going against his childhood friend, literally the only person he has left, on a battle where he knows and only one will get out alive. I won't be surprised if in the beginning he'll be willing to sacrifice himself for Ivan to win and live. Through the whole teaser, the voice singing in the background is muffled. Till is so out of it that he's not able to realize what's going on, even the shots he's in is in pure black, as if nothing around him matters anymore to him. That is, until the voice in the end gets clearer and we can finally see the stage for the Round. Can't wait to see what we have in store on April 5th. My theory is that this might be a 2 pov video, and later we'll get to know more about Ivan's take on everything. Specially because finally he might be able to make Till see him for once. Who's going to die? I hope no one. But we're talking about Vivinos... We can expect anything on this project. All I know is that I might die if we get some parallel to the meteor shower scene shown in black sorrow.

#alien stage #alien stage till #alien stage ivan #alien stage mizi #vivinos #I am so normal about Till yall #I might die of anticipation before round 6 airs

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 1, Unarmed - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Mild language, Bucky and Reader being Tolkien nerds, light fluff, mention of rabies (it's a super scary disease and we should all be vigilant, okay?!)

Word Count: 1.6k

Previously On...: You just had the pleasure of meeting the very handsome Bucky Barnes. Despite a little bit of awkwardness during your first encounter, you have a feeling your life is about to get a lot more interesting now that he's been introduced into it.

A/N: You know what? I said I wasn't going to do this, but I thought "fuck it!" and decided to post all of Chapter 1: Unarmed. My anxiety is too high to just sit on it. So, please enjoy Ch1. Pt2! Pts 3 & 4 to follow!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @blackhawkfanatic

The next evening, you were making your way back to your suite after a productive, albeit exhausting, day in your lab. You were working on a crisis prediction real-time monitoring system to anticipate global threats. You were convinced it would allow the Avengers to respond to trouble faster, but perfecting the privacy algorithm had been an absolute pain in the ass, and you still hadn't gotten it quite right. Technically, you could have farmed the project off to a subordinate; hell, even a team of subordinates of a subordinate, but this was one of your pet projects and you insisted on being hands-on in its development.

You had your tablet open as you walked, chewing on your thumb and reviewing the dataset from the run of your latest algorithm model one more time. Closer, but not good enough. If you were going to convince Tony that this was a program worth implementing, especially at its projected cost, everything had to be perfect. "Damn it," you muttered to yourself.

You rounded the corner and ran smack into Bucky's chest, dropping your tablet and causing him to drop the three books he'd been holding under his remaining arm. "Oh, shit-- I'm so sorry," you uttered as you bent down to retrieve the dropped items. Bucky leaned down to assist you, but you waved him off.

"’S my fault; I've got it," you told him, piling up his books for him. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Bucky leaned up against the wall and chuckled while you stood up and handed the books back to him. "I doubt you could hurt me," he said, smiling softly. "No offense."

You let out a small laugh. "None taken." He was a super soldier, after all. Stealing a glance at book spines, you couldn't suppress the smile that crossed your face. "Lord of the Rings," you nodded appreciatively. "Have you read them before?"

Bucky looked down at the books tucked under his arm. "No, first time. I read The Hobbit back when it was first published in '37, but these didn't come out until after..." he trailed off, but you knew what he meant. After he'd been abducted and brainwashed, turned into a murderer.

You nodded in understanding. "I'm actually really excited for you," you told him. "What I wouldn't give to be able to read them again for the first time."

"You a Tolkien fan, then?" he asked you. When you nodded, he continued: "When I finish them, maybe we can talk about them sometime? Steve's not really into fantasy."

"Yeah, I'd like that," you said. "If you're interested, we could watch the movies. I'll warn you though; they're long as hell, but their masterpieces. I mean, they didn't need to turn The Hobbit into three separate films, but still, they'll blow your fucking mind."

Bucky ran his tongue over his lower lip and you couldn't help but follow the motion with your eyes. "That sounds like fun," he said, his eyes twinkling with... something. "Your place or mine?" Was he… flirting with you?

"How 'bout you finish the books first, then we'll talk logistics," you teased. "Hey, speaking of, what floor did they end up putting you on?"

"Um, this one, actually," he said, tilting his head toward a nearby door.

"No shit," you remarked, laughingly. "You must have done something to piss Rogers off, because he put you right across the hall from me."

Bucky looked down, scuffing the toe of his boot against the carpeting. "He said it was the quietest floor, thought I'd prefer that."

You pursed your lips, considering. "Yeah, that makes sense; it's just been me on this level for ages. It'll be nice to have some company for a change."

Bucky looked surprised. "Stark's kept you down here all by your lonesome? That doesn't seem very nice."

You shook your head and dismissed his concern with a wave. "Oh, no-- Tony hates that I still live down here, actually. He put in all new living quarters a few years back. Everyone migrated upstairs, but I was the only one who didn't want to move."

"Why's that?" Bucky asked, appearing genuinely interested.

"I've lived here since I graduated college," you admitted, "back when it was still just Stark Tower. When Tony relocated here from Malibu to rebrand it for the Avengers, he wanted to redo everything, which meant fancy new suites for everybody. But I love my rooms, so I asked to stay put. They've been my home for so long now and I guess I just like the stability, you know?"

Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "And Tony thinks highly enough of you that he let the blow to his ego slide?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I have enough dirt on him that he felt like he didn't have much of a choice." You snorted, not able to keep up the pretense. "No, but seriously, I know you and Tony have a complicated... history, but he's not a bad guy. Ego as tall as this Tower, yes, definitely, but he's also incredibly kind and generous. He paid for my entire college education-- undergrad, post-grad, doctorate. I owe everything I have to him."

Bucky shifted against the wall. "That is pretty generous. And he never expected anything from you in return?" He didn't say the words out loud, but the implication was there. Had you slept with Tony in exchange for your diplomas? The innuendo should have bothered you, but it had been posed to you so many times over the years, you'd stopped being offended by it. Before Pepper, Tony had had quite the  reputation, after all, and an MIT education didn’t exactly come cheap. Most people couldn’t understand why he would offer a full ride to someone who, at the time, had been a complete stranger.

"Tony appreciates talent," you clarified. "When he finds it, he cultivates it, nourishes it, does everything he can to help it grow to its fullest potential. But he does like to get a return on his investments, and my skills have helped him make a lot of money." You shrugged your shoulders with a chuckle. "I love my job, I love the work we do, I love the stupid weirdo family we've built here, so I've always considered meeting Tony to be the best thing that ever happened to me. He's kind of like my own fairy godfather."

"So, what exactly does he have you do around here?" Bucky asked. "I know Steve said you did computer stuff, but you said it was an over-simplification."

You ran a hand up to rub the back of your neck while you considered your answer. How best to explain your position to someone who was born before the invention of the television? "Okay," you exhaled, "so, short answer is that I'm the CTO, the Chief Technology Officer, of Stark Industries and, under that, I run the Avenger’s Technology and Innovation Department. It's sort of our take on Research and Development. I've got a lab where I'm in charge of about 450 scientists, engineers, computer programmers, analysts, et. cetera. And our entire job is coming up with cool new ways of making things easier for the Avengers. Like, new features for suits, developing useful programs, coming up with new defenses and weapons, that kind of thing. And if we've got missions that require heavy computer- or tech-work, I come along for on-site support. I'm combat-trained and good with languages, so that comes in handy in the field. There’s probably a ton of field agents that could go in my place, but for Tony, it’s a matter of trust."

Bucky let out a low, appreciative whistle. "Damn. That's impressive. You're a little intimidating, you know that?"

Laughing, you tucked your tablet under your arm. "Please. I'm about as intimidating as a hamster." You paused to think. "Maybe a hamster with rabies, but still a hamster."

A series of beeps emanated from your tablet. As you pulled it out to check the alert, Bucky moved away from the wall. "I'm so sorry-- you were heading back to your room and I've basically been holding you hostage this entire time."

"Actually," you said, silencing the notification alarm that had distracted you, "That was just a reminder I set for myself to eat. Sometimes I lose track of time in the lab and completely forget to have dinner. Are you hungry? You could join me."

Bucky pulled his head back, regarding you as though he wasn't sure if you were serious.

"Or, if you don't want to, that's cool," you said quickly once you noticed his hesitation. "I mean, you wanted a quiet floor. Annoying neighbor is probably the last--"

"I'd love to," interrupted Bucky with a grin. "I'm just surprised someone like you would want to spend time with someone like me."

"Someone like me? Hey now, for all you know, I could be an absolute trash person," you teased, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

Bucky chuckled, his eyes sparkling with a newfound warmth. "Well, I highly doubt that, but I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"Don't say I didn't warn you when you do." You cocked your head toward the door to your room. "I'm going to change out of my work clothes. While I do, how about you decide what you're in the mood for, and we'll go from there. That sound good?" Bucky nodded as you let yourself into your room. The evening had taken an unexpected turn, but you found you were looking forward to spending more time in the company of Bucky Barnes.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes #bucky x y/n

[gyll-yee-haw]

Can you do a headcannon of Jake and some of his character during post-sex pillow talk?

Yes baby, you're so right for this <3

Characters: Jake, Loki, Donnie, Louis and Adam

Warnings: suggestive, no actual smut. Pretty fluffy, your girl can be soft sometimes

Jake Gyllenhaal

Oh my fave soft dom Jacob 🥺

Billions of praises

"You did so well for me, princess" as he handled your body that still shaked a little

If he was particularly rough that night, he would ask if you were okay, then if you were sure, over and over and over with a very worried look and a very soft voice

Give you so many little kisses and very long massages as the two of you talked about the most random things

From bread to quantum physics

You just enjoyed spending time together, you were best friends who could talk about anything, and turn absolutely everything into a joke, cause he loves making you laugh and you love his peculiar humor

I need him so bad, it's not even funny

David Loki

He isn't a man of many words

Would prefer to show affection by simply keeping you in his embrace, close to his chest as his heartbeat returned to normal

Kissing your forehead while you drifted into sleep

Might whisper a little "thank you" if that was the 'calm his nerves' kind of sex, maybe a little 'I would have gone mad already if it wasn't for you'

If it was romantic, passionate sex, that's one of the only times you'd hear 'I love you', and it would make your heart race every single time

Donnie Darko

I've said it before, I'll say it again, he's obsessed with you

After-sex Donnie will take a while to come back to this ugly planet, he stays stuck on the bliss where only him and his goddess exist

He's all smiley and sweet :((((

It's useless to try and talk to him about anything outside that room

"You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen..." he would drunkly say, everytime

"No, Donnie, I asked if you wanted to order some pizza..."

Louis Bloom

Opposite to David, absolutely never shuts up

His mind is always racing, so he's likely to start rambling about something that has nothing to do with what you just did, I mean, it's over, let's focus on tomorrow's plans

If you were too tired, you'd follow his lead, you'll just let him talk

If you were feeling brave, you'd iniciate round 2, to get him quiet

Adam Bell

He's a softie 🥺🥺🥺

Wants to hear about your day, only because he enjoys your voice so much

You'd insist to hear about his day too, but he isn't a fan of talking about himself

So you started a mission... you'd encourage him to talk, and ask questions during his stories, no matter how boring they were, and he would get all excited talking about something completely normal that happened during class

And when he caught you staring, he'd be like "oh I must be boring you to death, I'm sorry", which you would deny a million times

I mean, he's used to stand and talk in front of a bunch of uninterested people who clearly aren't listening, it's almost automatic

His cute surprised face seeing you interested in what he was saying?

It all gets him looking foward to coming home to you

Where you would make sweet sweet love, and when it ended, he would get this good feeling cause the most intimate part was yet to come

Then you would just lay there talking for hours...

#jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal x reader #detective loki #donnie darko #louis bloom #adam bell

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Hi!! Congratulations on passing 1,000 followers! I thought, maybe something cool to write about would be...

Ed and Jim talking about their feelings on gender expression/presentation, and Ed realizing they are more similar than he first thought? Maybe post season 2?

This one took a sec to ferment in my brain but when it did. ooooh when it did. Trans people talking about gender is the fuckin BEST.

Send me a prompt and I'll write a 1k word fic!

--

Ed wasn’t even sure why he’d bought the little bottle of nail polish.

The crew had come round to visit for a few days - earlier than they’d expected when they got the letter from Lucius around the start of the spring, so they had to cram them into the two guest rooms they’d been able to finish. Still, Ed had enjoyed showing them around, showing off how the master bedroom was coming along, and the kitchen (Roach promised to help furnish their growing spice rack), and Stede’s garden out front.

They’d treated everyone for lunch at their favorite fish spot down near the docks, then wandered around the market stalls, everyone offering their opinions on potential new pieces of decor for the inn.

And Ed had found the nail polish at a little stall selling cosmetics and medicines and all sorts of little trinkets. It was purple, and sparkly, with little bits of shiny glitter worked into it, and he held the bottle up, admiring how the color turned rich in the sunlight.

“That’s a nice one,” the nice old shopkeeper said. “I’m sure your girlfriend would like it, too.”

He’d winked, and Ed’s stomach had turned, and he’d almost put the bottle back. He knew the shopkeeper was just trying to make a sale, but it just reminded him - it was something Ed shouldn’t want.

He bought the nail polish, tucking it quickly into his pocket before anyone could notice.

Now, here he was, standing in the bedroom and chewing on his bottom lip, unsure what to do with it. He could hide it away, like a shameful little secret, but it would eat away at him. He could put it in the bathroom, but Stede would ask where he’d gotten it, maybe even ask if he wanted to wear it.

Wearing it seemed like a whole other can of worms.

Ed remembered the first, and last, time he’d worn nail polish. He’d painted his nails somewhere between all the poetry, after he came back to the ship alone, before the bad times. And then…yeah. All that had happened, and he was reminded that wasn’t something he got to do. He’d tried to scrape it off with a knife, back then, but he’d given up after he’d nicked his fingers too many times - hadn’t been able to keep his hands steady, for some fucking reason. He’d worn those full-fingered gloves to hide it until it had peeled off.

That was just the way it was, for people like Ed-

“Hey, man.” Jim’s voice in the doorway made Ed jump - they were as quiet as a fucking cat. 

Ed let out an extremely dignified squeak of terror, moving to reflexively hide the bottle and accidentally just tossing it away from him. It landed on the bed, thankfully, instead of shattering on the floor.

“Stede was wondering where you were - dinner’s ready.” Jim, in their infinite mercy, chose not to make fun of him, but their eyes flicked to the bed. “Why are you being so weird about nail polish?”

“Not being weird,” Ed deflected, trying to think of any good excuses for why he was being weird. “I just. Uh. Trying to decide if I want to wear it.”

Jim shrugged, bending to pick it up. They nodded at the color. “It’s nice.”

“Yeah,” Ed mumbled, looking at the floor. 

It was the caginess, maybe, that did it, but Ed could practically feel the second Jim got it.

“Oh,” they said, and then, “look, you don’t have to tell me, it’s no one’s fucking business, but - if you’re like me, then, fuck, I get it.”

“Not exactly like you.” Ed hadn’t realized how nice it would feel, to talk with someone who got it, and the little relieved smile felt good in his mouth. “I’m a man, people just thought I was a girl when I was born.”

“You know, I paint my nails, sometimes,” Jim told him. They sat on the bed, still holding the nail polish, and Ed followed them down, relaxing into the pillows.

“Are you…” Ed took a deep breath. “I’m scared, sometimes, that things like that will make people think I’m not enough of a man.”

“That’s the fuckin’ bitch, isn’t it?” Jim shook their head. “Lucius paints his nails all the time, and he’s fine. But people like us, we have to be so much more careful.”

“Yeah,” Ed nodded. “It’s like some people are just waiting for any chance to tell us we’re not actually who we say we are.”

“Fuckin’ exactly!” Jim thumped his shoulder in agreement. “It’s like, hello, I think I know myself better than you do, and I can paint my nails if I fuckin’ want!”

Ed’s laugh felt light. 

“Hey,” Jim said, passing the nail polish to Ed. “You wanna give it a try?”

Ed let his breath out, slowly. “I don’t know.”

“If you want, I’ll do it with you,” Jim offered. “And if you don’t like it, y’know, alcohol can get it off pretty easy, and we can take it off while it’s still wet. You’re a man, you’ll just be a man wearing nail polish. If other people can do it, why can’t we?”

They sat on the bedroom floor so they wouldn’t get anything on the nice sheets, and they painted each other’s nails. Ed tried to be careful to get Jim’s just right, and they didn’t complain when his hands were still a little shaky.

They were a bit late to dinner, and Ed felt a little awkward as Jim showed off their nail polish to their partners. Archie thought it was a fuckin’ dope color, apparently, but Ed hung back until Jim said “and look at Ed’s! Doesn’t he look fuckin’ cool!”

The round of agreement from the crew as they made him pose so they could all get a good look was more than Ed had expected.

Jim caught his eye over the dinner table. They winked, and Ed winked back.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fic #my fics #i wish i could draw so i could draw ed and jim painting each other's nails and bitching about gender expectations

[homosociallyyours]

This is a post for one of my best friends who's been going through a lot for the past few years. I'll go into more details below, but here's the heart of the matter: My friend has a serious auto-immune condition resulting from the long term after effects of cancer treatments (worsened now by the addition of long COVID to her long list of diagnoses). Over the past few years, she's gotten sicker and sicker and has been forced to change her diet from a vegetarian anti-cancer diet (she's a breast cancer survivor, and fought HARD for her health) to one that's become more and more limited as her body becomes allergic to every food one by one. She's now reached a point where one of the last 2 foods that she was able to eat safely, chicken, is causing an allergic reaction; she has to eat it anyway to survive, so is now very sick all the time.

What can you do?

One of the last hopes that she has to turn things around is something called a fecal microbiome transplant, which has worked miracles for other people with similar issues, but cannot currently be accessed through medical channels in the US for any but one (unrelated) condition. It's really easy to do as a DIY treatment though, it's just hard to find a donor: so we are putting it out there to see if one of you might be able and willing to be that person, or know someone who could do it.

Here is what she has to say about the ask:

Finding the right person to do this is difficult, but actually doing the helping is extremely easy and quick if someone was that person! If you live in the continental US and are fortunate enough to have both physical and mental good health (or know someone or have a child who fit the criteria) and are willing, you might be able to change my life! Please consider clicking through to read more and maybe even come aboard...  (For clarity: this isn't a medical procedure or anything, it is literally just donating poop, there are a few specifics but it is very much from the comfort of your home on your own time.)

You can click here to fill out a google form to see if you might be able to be a donor. The questionaire is detailed: fecal transplant is a bizarre and magical thing in which the patient sometimes can even end up acquiring personal preferences from the donor- the gut microbiome (sometimes called the second brain) is incredible! But this means that any illness, chronic issues, or risk factors you carry may also be transferred to the recipient so while it may feel invasive, getting detailed info in very necessary; I am just too sick already to take on any more problems.

A note- yes, it is possible to buy screened and processed treatments even in the US: unfortunately the cost (~$2k per round of treatment) is way outside my reach, particularly given that it isn't really any better than just getting poop directly from a good candidate (proven via studies), and that often it takes trying a couple donors/ rounds to find a match that gets results. If anyone wants to just buy me that stuff, I sure wouldn't say no to that, but given the severity of my situation (medical and financial; I cannot work due to disability) it is likely I will need to do medical fundraising at some point and I am trying to save that for an even worse point. Also if you have that kind of money to help out honestly it would be better spent on specialists or my astronomical food costs. I will cover all costs associated with this process if I find someone though, of course!

Thank you for reading/boosting/etc, please consider sending the link to possible healthy friends or family who might be a fit, or consider whether you have a child fitting the bill you might be willing to enlist- young microbiomes are the best ones, as children's systems have had less time to be ravaged by the effects of the modern world or the simple deterioration of age.

#signal boost #medical issues #health #please fill out the form at the link that's below the read more #and share this post and/or the survey link with anyone you know who might be a good fit #i'm not exaggerating when i say that the worsening of her condition is really fucking scary #genuinely don't know what i would do without her #also how great would it be to tell everyone your shit is LIFE SAVING??

[lemon-sugarcoats-nothing]

How do you decide what to draw, and when it's done?

Text: "This is a great question! I usually "wing it" when it comes to deciding when my drawing is done. (More below)" "Finding ideas...? It kind of depends! Sometimes I'll get a strong picture form in my head while I'm doing something else. Other times I just sit and draw whatever."

Now to elaborate on my process for deciding when to stop, how far to go with shading, etc. Most of it has to do with how I feel about drawing something, but also to do with keeping things visually appealing. Here I've laid out each general step of my drawing process from start to finish:

1. Sketch, Meant to be quick and generally convey the subject. I will sometimes draw and post things just as cleaned up sketches if just adding visuals to a text post, for shit-posting, or just if I'm not too interested in what I'm drawing.

2. Line art, I almost never post *just* line art, but i will occasionally post line art with one color to fill in the silhouette to help with contrast and character recognizability.

3. Flat color, I often post ask responses at this stage (maybe with simple hard-edged shadows here or there), but outside of ask responses I only leave character reference art at this stage just because the colors are purest for the character. I don't usually leave it without simple shading because it can be hard to read the subject's form, and its not my cup of tea. I lightly airbrush a warm color over the line art so that the harsh black doesn't contrast too much with the bright colors.

4. Shaded, a step up from simple hard edge shading I'll layer more than one shading color (layer set to multiply and lowered opacity) and blend out the edges in some places to soften the form. Then I add lighting and highlights - first using a textured soft airbrush over a large area, then use a round airbrush with hard edges for the highlights, blending out the edges in some areas to soften the form. This is usually where i stop for simpler character pieces, either for ask responses or for personal art. (Highlight layers are set to "add-glow")

5. Atmosphere, or adding additional shading elements to engage the subject with an environment or specific lighting condition. Here I've done a sunset lighting condition - I put a purple color over the whole subject set to multiply and opacity lowered, then airbrushed a reddish orange tone (on a separate layer, set to add-glow and opacity lowered) over the highlighted areas to bring warmth back to the lit spots. Then deepened the shadows using the hard edge airbrush again, a dark blue color (multiply layer, lower opacity), and then blending some of the edges out to show the form better. This is where I'll merge the line-art layer with what i now have of the coloring and shading, if i didn't already do so prior. Last I went back over the highlights with the orangey color (add glow, lower opacity). Once I get to rendering like this, I don't often stop here because by this point I'm likely hyper fixated and will keep pushing the values and adding details until I get to 6.

6. Details and bounce light. I texture-airbrushed a blue bounce light color, erased some hard edges in using that hard edged airbrush and then blending some of the edges out. This then gave me a guide to add in bounce-highlights with a hard pen, that i blended out in some places. I then further pushed the main highlights using a hard pen and again, blended out the edges. All layers set to add glow and opacity lowered. This is where I'll usually stop for finished rendered pieces, because I struggle to find other things to add or change, and the hyperfixation is thinning out and caving into my hunger/sleepiness. Might add hard white highlight details, but those are the finishing touches.

7. Wtf details. Added in hair strand details and fly-aways, blades of grass, I'm up way too late and struggling to end the drawing process - Or im just enjoying rendering the hair. I almost never add in stray hairs like this, but it's something i enjoy visually.

Again, a lot of where I stop comes down to my energy, time, and the vibes I'm going for. Hope this answers your question!

#mlp ask blog #mlpfim #mlp art #art #mlp fim #mlp ask oc #digital aritst #mlp fan art #digital art #mlp oc #art tutorial #art tumblr #rendering practice #process #art process #drawing process

[front-facing-pokemon]

I just found this blog so I'm jumping aboard the plushie bandwagon.

First we got Absol. (i feel like maybe i should've taken a closer-up picture but it's the face sooo)

Then a Wooloo

And, saving best for last, this Leafeon plush I own... of which I swear on my life is official merch.

I also have some more eeveelutions (plus an eevee and a few more) but: 1. I didn't want to send too many. 2. Eeveelutions are more popular so I wanted to give some other people the chance to submit their own. 3. I don't know where my Pikachu and Snivy plushies are cuz I own too many stuffed animals.

Only reason I submitted Leafeon was so I could show off this ~masterpiece~ of a plushie I own. And it's face isn't the only thing wrong with it too lol. Also I just noticed I accidentally had one of the ears hanging back but I'm too lazy to go take another photo but i hope this amuses you nonetheless.

ALRIGHT THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF YOU AS I'VE BEEN OUT WITH MY FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS HUH

let's start with these guys. beautiful. wonderful. i do not believe that that leafeon is official merch. this statement is baffling to me. welcome to the front-facing pokémon family. i love the eyes on that absol and wooloo is one of my faves. i was rather obsessed with it when it first came out and have a whole wooloo tag on my main blog because of it. though i guess i cleared that whole thing out recently so i don't anymore

let's get the nose ratings out of the way:

↑ this is a lie. 10/10 chespin

it's very wide and also 10/10 you're being too harsh. merry day to you too

circular face indeed. did i already post this one? if i did you can have it again

clodsire be upon ye. clodsire fans this is your treat until gen 9

this is a trend now. i think tumblr just crunched this image to hell for some reason so here's what the text says:

"Felt like joining the others for front facing pokeplushies [images] I have more pokemon but its early morning and these are the plushies that are easy to access"

i have not but i imagine "a moment" has long passed by now. my apologies but apparently today was an important day or something? idk

YEAH it's super unbelievably fucked up. i think i kinda remember the circumstance being a bit dire so everyone else was more worried about either 1. protagonist getting stomped on brutally or 2. saving the world from kyurem / the bittercold. i was totally under the impression that he was dead in that moment but i guess the characters may have known that he would just come back? i seem to vaguely remember partner being surprised that he came back and being like "but we watched you die :OOO" but maybe i'm misremembering that. i do create a lot of pmd lore on my own time so i have a hard time telling the difference between canon and fanon sometimes

two a day makes the world go round! this blog started when i started college, paused for 80% of my college career and now has started back up and i just graduated college a week ago. i would say "how time flies" but it has been a very, very long year

i've said it before and i'll say it again: gen 6 is my favorite gen, so you'll be seeing lots of favor for this gen from me in the tags i'm sure. maybe gen 6 is my excuse to start doing other things here. like that stream i keep talking about

if they put meloetta as a little obscure puzzle thang in sv, i'm sure they'll do something for genesect. i hope. at least for keldeo probably. genesect i'm not sure is very popular, unfortunately, outside of the tumblr crowd. if the general public's opinion on genesect is favorable, then maybe

okay and then i tried to scroll down further in my screenshots for more asks and saw the wobbly will smith in a hospital bed Gimme a Hug, Man that i copied from the "i get a little bit genghis kanghis" post so that's it. to everyone who christmases: merry it. it is today. although it's basically over by now so! merry boxing day for tomorrow if i don't say anything tomorrow. but i probably will. now i'm gonna go queue up today's 'mons because i haven't done it yet today. see you all in a few weeks when those post

#gti spoilers #under the cut. don't look if you haven't played it it's an amazing game #not pkmn #nose ratings #about to queue up gogoat and pancham so be ready for those in a while

[hyuckmov]

request #2: jaemin angst angst, that's pretty much it, some fluff, ends...ambiguously? wc: 2.3k a/n: THIS is not my best work...actually i feel like this is kind of bad and i was gna scrap it HOWEVER i felt bad for taking this long so i'm going to post this and then i might make up for it with another piece of jaemin angst sometime. this is loosely structured like 'the five times jaemin proposes to you (and the ....)' but it just felt kind of cruel of jaemin to propose 2 more times as per the trope and also i would have to write a lot more to fill in the gaps. <3 thanks for reading anywayyyy

jaemin first proposed to you on an autumn night. or rather, it was 11pm, you were closing up the empty cafe, and a boy had run in through the doors requesting one of the worst coffee orders you've ever heard of in your entire life, as a barista or not. 

"i have an assignment-" he makes out, breathless from the run. "it's due at 12. i just really really need to get my last thousand words in-" 

"last thousand?" you raise your eyebrows at him. he's pretty, is the first thing you notice. long lashes, long black hair falling over his eyes, a grandpa cardigan hanging off his broad shoulders. even as he's hunched over the counter, he tilts his head and you can see a lazy smile stretch across his face. it's a smile that makes you temporarily forget that it's fall and you're freezing cold. it's a smile that looks like summer. 

"last thousand." he confirms, the grin growing until it's cheshire-cat wide. 

"well then…" you turn around, starting to busy yourself with the espresso machine. "you had better order 2 cups, don't you think?" 

his laugh sounds out in the still air of the cafe. heading over to one of the counter seats, he props his chin up dramatically with one hand, his eyes going soft and round as he stares at you lovingly. "marry me," he sighs. 

and even though you respond with a light, "after you finish your assignment", he swears he can see your cheeks burning red when you pass him his coffee. 

x

"marry me, y/n." jaemin sighs. even from your view of him on videocall, the image slightly grainy from the darkness in his room, there's something endearing about watching jaemin recover from pulling an all-nighter. unable to keep his yawns in and rubbing sleepiness from his eyes, he sips lazily on a cup of iced coffee, blinking blearily up at his screen. there's something too tender about it, stinging lightly at your chest, that makes you look away. 

"you can't make that your catchphrase jaemin," you say, as easily as you can. "i'm going to get the wrong idea." 

without missing a beat, he beams at his webcam a huge smile. "alright then. but thank you so much for staying up with me, really." there's something unreadable in his expression, but it may just be the dimness of the room. 

"it's no problem," you give him a small smile. "breakfast in an hour?" 

"i'll pay."

x

"what do you think?" 

"jaemin, you're overthinking this," you soothe. "there's nothing wrong with that conversation, you're just being you."

"you're my best friend, that's a biased viewpoint," he whines. 

you're my best friend. steeling yourself, you try to shake the disappointment from your head. it had been a year since the two of you met, jaemin slowly worming his way into your life until he was irreplaceable. he had almost every meal with you. he knew things about you almost no one else did. you seemed to live your life twice: the first time as you actually experienced it and the second time relaying everything to him, as he did to you. 

you were so sure your feelings had faded — chalked up your feelings to him as inevitable, and soon to pass. until he started to incessantly bring up a girl he was paired with for a project, and you began to realise that maybe you never truly stopped liking him. 

clearing your throat, you squint at his phone screen, reading out: "dress warmly, it's getting cold outside. "see, that's a really sweet message!" shoving him in the shoulder, you bite back, "why don't you ever send me messages like that?" 

"that's not the point," he scowls. "she never replied after that." 

"maybe she just got busy," you pat him on the arm consolingly. 

"i'm too annoying," he grumbles, frowning at his phone as he locks it and throws it to the carpeted floor."dress warmly…who even says that? i'm just some guy from her lab project." 

"you're not just some guy," you insist. "have you seen yourself with lab goggles on? she was definitely just too giddy from your message to reply." 

as if on cue, his phone vibrates from where it lies on the floor. you reach over and pick it up, as jaemin buries his head in his couch cushions. 

"look!" you hold his phone out to him. 

peeking out from behind his fingers, his eyes scan the message. you're so sweet, thanks jaem! sorry for the late response, my phone battery died :( 

heaving a sigh of relief, he smiles sweetly down at his phone. "you were right." he reaches over and pulls you into the hug, snuggling his face into your hair. “y/n…"

"don't propose to me," you warn, and, because you're really his best friend…"save it for her one day." 

he beams up at you at that, but somehow the warmth of his smile burns ice cold all the way through you. 

x

in the car, you and jaemin are silent for almost all the way home. 

at first, it's a shocked silence, one that followed the two of you out of the restaurant and hung in the air for the first 5 minutes as you drove. 

when jaemin pulled out the ring in the middle of the restaurant — you watching from two tables down, your phone in your hand ready to record the moment for him, your heart pounding in your throat —, there had been a moment when you truly would have been fine with seeing her say yes. with walking up to congratulate them. with squeezing her hand tight and telling her to take care of your best friend. 

for a moment you had finally done it: talked yourself out of the heartache. filed away the memories of lazy afternoons spent lying on the floor of jaemin's room watching him obsess over science magazines. chipped through the love which had built up for years — the love that meant he could smile at you with a glow that felt like summer, which meant each time he craned his neck over to look at you through his lashes you felt your breath catch in your chest. 

for a split second, the notion that jaemin was getting married to the girl he met in his lab project 3 years ago had finally sunken in. even after third wheeling their dates for months, waking up in the middle of the night as jaemin panicked over fights he had with her, consoling him with a bitter taste in your mouth. it had taken a proposal and the specific sight of her hands over her mouth and eyes glistening to finally convince you that it was permanent. that he loved her. that he always would. 

until she shook her head. her hands coming away from her face, to make it even clearer. she shook her head again. she tugged at his shirt sleeve, trying to get him to stand up. whispering apologies to other diners in the restaurant. saying sorry to him before grabbing her purse and rushing out, avoiding his eyes the whole time. his eyes, round and wide, filled with hurt. 

in the car, you replay the moment in your head again and again. you're sure jaemin is doing the same thing. and its the thought of him being stuck in that moment forever that draws you to break the silence, reaching out to him with words. 

"i'm sure the two of you just need to talk it out," you try, making your voice as gentle as possible. you glance over at him, and he's staring resolutely at his hands. "it isn't an easy decision, maybe she's just overwhelmed." 

silence. he's still not looking at you, playing with the velvet box with his fingers. the defeated slouch of his shoulders prompting you to focus your eyes on the road ahead. because what could you say? guilt scrapes against your chest as you remember how it felt watching her leave, confusion and worry but also the faintest prickle of relief. 

"jaemin, everything is going to be okay, i promise you," you try again, as you pull the car into the driveway of your house. "look, it's not good for you to be alone right now, so just come in with me and i'll make you something to drink, and-" 

"marry me, y/n." 

at the words, you snap your head over to look at him. he's already staring at you, a harshness to his gaze that makes you want to back away from him. 

"what?" 

"marry me," he grabs your wrist roughly with one hand, beginning to pry open the ring box with the other. 

"jaemin what is wrong with you-" you struggle against him trying to pull your hands back, adrenaline rushing through you. 

"you love me, don't you?" he demands, trapping both your wrists in his hands. "you've loved me since college." 

your arms go slack. so he knew. 

"jaemin," you try again, all the breath seeming to have evaporated from your lungs. "let go of me, please." 

"you love me, so marry me," he continues as if you hadn't spoken. "isn't this what you want? you win, okay y/n?" 

"i don't want this," you raise your voice over his as slowly, you realise what he's implying. "i don't want to marry you, i only ever want to see you happy-" 

"you ruined this-" he spits at you, his words quickening. he lets go of your hands and runs them through his hair. "from the start i knew something was wrong. you picked out the date, you picked out the restaurant, you picked out the flowers-" 

"i was trying to help you-" 

"you even picked out this fucking ring." opening the box, he grabs it and holds it in front of you. his voice rising to a level you'd never heard, because jaemin never raised his voice at you, he shouts,"everything you did was just for yourself, you're so fucking delusional it makes me sick!" 

the sound rings in your ears, it seems to echo endlessly in the small space of the car. you're unable to breathe from how hard you're sobbing. you're aware that by not saying anything you're making things ten times worse, as if you had nothing to say for yourself, but it's the look of jaemin like this — his face twisted with anger, as if you were nothing more than a stranger, that hurt you so badly you couldn't make out the words.

your hands reach out for him, but you pull away because that just proves him right. 

"j-jaem, i would never… i never did that to you," the words sound pathetic even to you, but you can't think of anything else to say. because you loved him. even as you were sitting there, you still did. 

jaemin bites his lip in contempt. "whatever." 

grabbing your trembling hand, he shoves the ring onto your finger — ironically, it's a perfect fit. 

x

all rationality tells you not to open the door. but something in you always wanted a better goodbye. 

jaemin looks surprised to see you. he straightens from how he was slumped against the opposite door, hands shoved into his pockets. 

"did i wake you?" 

the concern in his eyes is too much for you to bear. "why did you come here?" 

swallowing, he exhales shakily. "i'm sorry." 

"not good enough." for the first time in all the time you've known him, you choose cruelty just as he did that day in the car. 

"i'm sorry for everything i said," he continues, stepping towards you, his gaze heavy with a seriousness you haven't seen since. "i don't even believe any of the things i said. everything i did was wrong."

the words sink in. of everything that he said, it's sickening to you how your heart practically aches to forgive him, begging you to throw your arms around him and tell him he's absolved of everything. you force yourself to stand your ground, digging your heels into the hurt that has accumulated over the past month, over the years. picking your words carefully, you look away.  

"it's stupid. but as much as i liked you, and maybe even loved you, i've never once heard you say those words in the way i wanted it." you take a deep breath. "and what you said that day… that's not the type of thing someone just forgives. you can't just take it out on me, leave for a month, and expect me to understand." 

"i know that," jaemin says, softly. 

there's a pause. 

"i'm going to head back in now," you hesitate. "if you don't have anything else to say." 

"wait, y/n-" he reaches out to grab your wrist, his grip immediately slackening into a gentle hold once you jolt. "let me try to make it up to you. i can't do anything without you, nothing feels right without you. i knew it from the moment i left…" he winces. "the moment i left the car, and i know it's going to feel wrong forever if i don't at least try to make it right with you." 

you can't rise above it, and you can't cut him out of your life like you wanted to so badly. because you couldn't be without him either. 

"call me tomorrow, and tell me again." meeting his eyes again, you tell him as firmly as you can. "i'm not forgiving you straight away but, just…call me again." 

"i will." and there it is, the faintest hint of a smile. and just as he turns to leave, he looks back at you. "and y/n… i'm sorry. for never saying it like you needed me to. for ruining things."

you tell him you're sorry too.

tags: @91qowngus, @sundhaelatte, @jaemboi64, @sassy-author

#jaemin angst #jaemin scenario #nct dream angst #nct dream scenario #jaemin au #nct dream au

[foryouwereinmysong]

Do you think John and Paul ever saw each other again after ‘76? Or even talked on the phone? I know Paul says they did but every so often doubt creeps in and I start wondering if Paul isn’t just making up stories to convince himself that they were still friends. Your thoughts?

Thank you for the ask! It made me look back at John's last interviews and some of Paul's earliest after the murder. I don't think Paul made up the phone calls, because he has been consistent in talking about them since the early 80s. In his interviews shortly after John's death he talks about it quite detailed and I don't think he would make something like this up. For other speculations about their last meeting I found this great blogspot post: https://mccartnet.blogspot.com/2012/04/when-was-lennon-and-mccartneys-last.html

What I do wonder is, if they maybe saw each other for the last time in 1978. John mentions in 1980 he thinks that the "turning Paul away incident" was like 2 years ago and Geoffrey Giuliano claims that John, Yoko, Paul and Linda went to see the movie "Pretty Baby" together, which was released in April 1978. (The lost Lennon diaries) - but people say he's not a reliable source... But maybe John didn't turn Paul away the day after the SNL evening (24th of April 1976), but after the movie night? But then again Sean was already a toddler in 1978...

WELL if somebody did more research on this, I would love to know, but I'll end it here, because I think in the end there won't be a really satisfying answer. And maybe the important part is that the love they had for each other never went away either way.

(Newsweek, 1982, by Jim Miller)  Q: "Did you see much of him before he died?"

PAUL: "I saw him quite a bit. Always, the problem was talking business. Whenever we got into business, we got into an argument. It wasn't a pleasant framework for a relationship. When Sean (John and Yoko's son) was first born, I visited him a few times at the Dakota (Lennon's apartment house in New York). And then it had gone snotty. I used to turn up without calling him. One time, he got annoyed with me. He said, 'Well, look, man... Why do you just keep turning up here and surprise us? Why don't you just call first?' And I took that the wrong way. After that, I don't think I did see him. I phoned a few times. As long as we were talking about family, about life, it was good. The last time I spoke to him, I got off the phone and it felt like old friends again. I've talked to Yoko since then, and she's said to me, 'You know, he really was quite fond of you.' I think we were pretty close. But, sometimes, with brothers, you argue. They can be the most intense arguments, too."

(Playboy, 1984, by Joan Goodman) PLAYBOY: "Do you remember your last conversation with John?"

PAUL: "Yes. That is a nice thing, a consoling factor for me, because I do feel it was sad that we never actually sat down and straightened our differences out. But fortunately for me, the last phone conversation I ever had with him was really great, and we didn't have any kind of blowup. It could have easily been one of the other phone calls, when we blew up at each other and slammed the phone down."

PLAYBOY: "Do you remember what you talked about?"

PAUL: "It was just a very happy conversation about his family, my family. Enjoying his life very much; Sean was a very big part of it. And thinking about getting on with his career. I remember he said, 'Oh, God, I'm like Aunt Mimi, padding round here in me dressing gown' ...robe, as he called it, cuz he was picking up the American vernacular... 'feeding the cats in me robe and cooking and putting a cup of tea on. This housewife wants a career!' It was that time for him. He was about to launch Double Fantasy."

(Playboy, September 1980, by David Sheff) PLAYBOY: "Aside from the millions you've been offered for a reunion concert, how did you feel about producer Lorne Michaels' generous offer of $3200 for appearing together on 'Saturday Night Live' a few years ago?"

LENNON: "Oh, yeah. Paul and I were together watching that show. He was visiting us at our place in the Dakota. We were watching it and almost went down to the studio, just as a gag. We nearly got into a cab, but we were actually too tired."

PLAYBOY: "How did you and Paul happen to be watching TV together?"

LENNON: "That was a period when Paul just kept turning up at our door with a guitar. I would let him in, but finally I said to him, 'Please call before you come over. It's not 1956 and turning up at the door isn't the same anymore. You know, just give me a ring.' He was upset by that, but I didn't mean it badly. I just meant that I was taking care of a baby all day and some guy turns up at the door... But, anyway, back on that night, he and Linda walked in and he and I were just sitting there, watching the show, and we went, 'Ha-ha, wouldn't it be funny if we went down?' but we didn't."

PLAYBOY: "Was that the last time you saw Paul?"

LENNON: "Yes, but I didn't mean it like that." (Newsweek, 29th of September 1980, by Barbara Graustark) Q: "Paul McCartney's theory is that you became a recluse because you'd done everything - but be yourself."

JOHN: "What the hell does that mean? Paul didn't know what I was doing - he was as curious as everyone else. It's ten years since I really communicated with him. I know as much about him as he does about me, which is zilch. About two years ago, he turned up at the door. I said, 'Look, do you mind ringin' first? I've just had a hard day with the baby. I'm worn out and you're walkin' in with a damn guitar!"

#john and paul #picking interviews apart #last mclennon meeting #dakota that damned place #mclennon #the beatles #john lennon interview #paul mccartney interview

[sparethedreamer]

Some spoilers for FNAF Help Wanted 2

Terms used can be found on pluralpedia.com

Just about the Sun/Moon/Eclipse system as a system member

As a system who have been following along the Five Nights at Freddy's games/media, we are intrigued by the Sun/Moon/Eclipse/+ system coded character(s). At first it seemed like they (Steel Wool or Scott) were just gonna stick with the tired trope of Good Character is plagued by their Bad Alter. However, things seem to be developing and we want to talk about it.

First of all, we're going to refer to them collectively as the Solar System because one of us suggested it and it's freakin' clever.

So clearly each headmate of the Solar System has a role:

Solar System as a whole:

Perfectionist tendencies, prioritizes/obsesses over cleanliness, upset when rules are broken, child-care oriented

Sun:

Non-violent daycare attendant with perfectionist tendencies, anxiety, childcare skills. He's in charge of arts and crafts. He tries to protect Gregory from Moon. Wants to be whole. Can easily succumb to feelings of despair/hopelessness. Frantic. Can be judgemental and critical. Please let me out of timeout, I'll be good!

Possible system roles: anxiety holder, jester, jailer, and worrier

Moon:

Allowed to roam at night at certain hours and attacks Gregory, who he believes is naughty and deserves to be found and punished. Fronts when lights are out and seems physically hurt by light. Seems to attempt to force Sun into dormancy. Clever and calculating. Can be jealous and retaliatory.

Possible system roles: attacker, hunter-persecutor

Eclipse:

A calm, seemingly non-violent entity that can take control of a situation when needed. They seem to be more emotionally mature than Sun and Moon and act with sort of parental demeanor. They appear to be programmed as a failsafe for when the system is under severe distress or presents a danger to itself or others.

Possible system roles: anchor, anesthetic, parental figure, caretaker,

Jack-o-Moon: (sorry I don't know your pronouns! Please accept this They/Them in these trying times)

Hobbies include log rides, Halloween, and fire. Adds a bit of (pumpkin) spice to your detour. Absolutely vibing (sometimes the vibe requires your murder. sorry not sorry). Hurt by the light :( Might sometimes cofronts with Moon maybe (last merry-go-round night, subtitles say Moon?)

Possible roles: Performer, jokestar,

Anyways, it's cool to see a system in media even if a lot of it's played as good Sun vs evil Moon. We think that each character has nuance and their strengths and weaknesses and are excited for the upcoming theories from this new game. We probably forgot some stuff or didn't include some stuff in this post, so we apologize. We hope to see more interactions between headmates and the progression of system dynamics. Who knows if it'll happen or not, but we can hope.

-🫧 and 🍀

#sun moon system #fnaf #fnaf spoilers #fnaf help wanted 2 #help wanted 2 #five nights at freddy's #sun #moon #eclipse #jack o moon #system #plurality #plural

[epicsauce]

pleeease keep talking about toys...i think this is interesting and smth i've never thought too hard about but it makes sense and i like to hear your opinions on modern toys

(ask pertaining to this post)

holy shit okay !! i would love to ramble on so, i shall!

okay im no expert on toy sales history, this is all just observation from my life experiences and i'll try to keep each part i want to go over relatively short!

that being said lets start with a small one that i've personally noticed as a canadian: Kinder egg toys! i remember when they used to come with like 4-8+ pieces, and you needed the included step by step manual to assemble them. they would often come with sticker sheets to decorate them with, and they would often be articulated or be set on wheels or have some sort of fun or movement or general functionality to them:

dont those look awesome? wrapped in 2 kinds of chocolate, and for only like 2$! i remember they would come in all shapes and sizes, all sorts of animals and vehicles and sometimes freaky little abominations, as you can see above, and sometimes even puzzles! they were such a special treat as a kid.

but kinder eggs now? come with a maximum of like 3 pieces that just snap together (usually the front and back of the toy, and then the platform they stand on). and thats all they mostly are now, stiff toys that stand on platforms wahhooooo yippeee

idk just look at the quality difference from the old ones above compared to some of the new ones:

like..... these are..... nothing! literally nothing. just a figure snapped to a pole/platform and thats it! not very interesting for more than 3 minutes max.

now i know what you're thinking: "not ALL of the old kinder toys had to have been bangers" and you'd be right, some were lame as hell, but even the lame ones from before look more intricate than the ones we have now, like can you see what i mean, just detail-wise?

it just feels so cheap and shitty, i could go on and on but more is explained later. point is, it sucks.

anyway that's a very small example and we can move onto bigger and better ones, and maybe even one that everyone else might have noticed by now; McDonald's toys! remember when they were actually toys?

and not just stiff figurines?

(the minions franchise was like CRACK for companies who love making profit off of nothing but stiff rounded plastic. probably the cheapest form of "toy" i can think of)

and yeah, again, its not like there werent figurines back in the day too, there's ALWAYS been lame as hell mcdonalds toys, but looking among many modern mcdonalds toys, you dont see anything as cool as the old ones. literally every major modern movie/franchise right now is nothing but figurines. the most recent actually interactive mcd's toy ive seen is when they collabed with hasbro games

again, companies just seem to be pumping out quantities over quality.

but why?

well, for starters toys are becoming cheaper (both in price and quality) because prices have sky rocketed and stores are forced to only stock cheaper things, therefore the cheap things sell the most, and then more of them get made, and statistics get fucked, etc etc the cycle repeats.

but toy companies know one thing, and that's that things that are "cuter" always sell more. "cuter" being used with vitriol because their idea of 'cute' is 'more glitter and sparkles and rainbow colours and obnoxiousness' oh, and dont forget the huge soulless bug eyes on all of them!

i know that people love these things, but theyre so..... uncanny. their stare is piercing, their stance is so stiff, i always felt bad actually playing with the only one of these i had growing up, and not just because it freaked me out, it just genuinely didnt feel good to play with.

and i knoowwwww people are obsessed with these things, but come on, you have to admit theyre SO unoriginal! theyre just cookie cutter shapes!

these things are horrifying and, at best, belong on a shelf.

these "beany boos" are so woobified and almost feel like a flanderized version of a stuffed animal, and they've completely taken over "beanie babies", which were wonderful soft little things that actually had movement and weren't stiff to cuddle! I also feel like they're almost trying to copy what webkinz was, in a way, as some of those were stiff too (but still loveable and not burdened with an uncanny, vacant stare)

anyway this is getting insanely long and im sorry but i feel like im going insane every time i see new toys nowadays. the like.... "cuteification" of everything is driving me insane, and the fact that they are simply just lower quality than what we used to get, because of prices rising and causing easy-to-make things to become more and more popular.

examples to further prove these points:

extreme woobifying or "cuteification" by almost completely removing all horse anatomy in favour of thin limbs, heavy makeup eyes that are now on the front of her face, and modern influencer eyebrows. on a horse.

and the extreme-simplifying of toys can be seen quite well on those mini polly pocket sets!! see this one here?

almost allllll of those little plastic things could be rotated or rearranged or moved or fucked with in some manner, it was awesome. i loved these miniature houses they always came with so much shit. wanna guess what the newer ones look like?

you guessed it, like shit!!

man even beyblades used to come with like, all sorts of different pieces both metal and plastic alike, and you had to assemble them yourself and you could interchange pieces to obtain a different weight which would affect your attacks against other beyblades, etc etc:

and looking at them now? they seem to be mostly made of- yep, you guessed it, hard cheap plastic.

anyway holy shit i literally reached the 30 image limit on a single post tumblr really said thats ENOUGH !! i cant believe i just spent that long talking about the worlds most pointless thing but at any rate i hope you enjoyed it and i hope you see my vision. because like i said im not insanely knowledgeable on any of this in particular, but its hard not to notice the decline in quality of all of todays modern toys.

#i didnt even go off about the entire brand of toys that exist just to shit in a cup after you feed it chemical mixtures #and i literally cant ive talked soooo much on this post i need to go smoke weed and to go bed LOL #00 #03

[3collecurei]

Homestucktober 2023 (1-5)

1) Patron Troll

Seer gang rise up ✊🏽 (I'd done two classpect tests since 2012 and both times I was a Seer, my aspect just changed from Void to Doom which isn't a good sign lol...although the one I just tried from 4chan is telling me I'm a Page of Void now...I mean I'll take it because it's an aspect I've gotten before but I'm not really trying to be Jake or Tavros out here they both got so screwed over lol)

Anyway if she were my actual patron in a game session I'd be fucking terrified because of what she puts John and Dave through but also probably laughing my ass off at her antics and impressed by her intense sensing ability despite the blindness

2) Favorite Beta Kid

Dave Strider is much needed comedic relief in such a tragic tale and his ramblings are often as deeply philosophical as they are deeply ridiculous. I don't even have the right words to describe all this character has done for me. I'm in love with the Time aspect even though it's probably the last aspect I'd be assigned to because I think Time players have to deal with the multiplicity of the self the most out of everyone (except maybe Space players), and what a fucking difficult thing that must be. I will always wonder how he managed to spend IIRC weeks in the game whereas for everyone else it was just 24 hours (and of course Davesprite spending IIRC four months trying to fix his doomed session...my heart)

3) Favorite Beta Troll

(IIRC the beta trolls are technically the dancestors but I just call the original 12 the betas sometimes because they deal with the beta kids and we meet them first. Anyway)

Again I don't have words enough to describe what Karkat has done for me. Karkat rounding up and trying to lead eleven other insane motherfuckers and losing his cool often but almost always asserting, in his way, that it's because he deeply cares. You really see this in Act 6 Post Murderstuck when we find him in Openbound and he's obviously dealing with the weight of having failed at leadership so hard that over half of his teammates are dead. It probably took him a while of raging at how long the meteor trip would be (and upset Sollux didn't stay after "dying" in front of him again) before the sadness set in, but if there's one thing Karkat isn't, it's afraid of emotion. Also the PCG, CCG, FCG conversations remain some of my favorites in the entire canon, especially the one where FCG berates CCG for "wanting [Terezi] in every quadrant like a desperate fool." If there's one thing I can relate to about Karkat it's that I will also always read past me for filth even if it's hard. I use it as a form of self pruning and improvement and eventually I think FCG gets that too.

4) Favorite Alpha Kid

It was Dirk for a long time until maybe the last year or two, but I realized after re-reading the Epilogues that relating to him as much as I do is probably really bad lol, but Roxy was always a close second. Obsessed with the fact that the wild alcoholic, who one might think would be the worst team member because of that, instead sobers up and fully embodies John's role as the "friendleader" which is why I think they end up getting along so well. Despite the obstacles Roxy is full of love for their friends, and with friends like the people who they end up becoming in the Epilogues, you gotta hand it to them for their persistence. Considering that they were in a Void session their positivity throughout was pretty amazing to me, also shout out to them for fully embracing Calliope's skull appearance and finding them beautiful anyway. Alien love wins

5) Favorite Alpha Troll

Okay but can we talk about the fact that she ends up alive??? As a huge stan of hers since we started seeing her I was fucking living my best life lol I can't hate it whatsoever even though it was at John's expense 😭 Meenah's one of the most determined characters in the entire thing fr, she really said "fuck being dead for millions of years after isolating myself on the moon to avoid responsibility, now I want all the responsibility, all of it." Fully meets Karkat again in Candy and is like "lemme reverse what HIC did and use my ancient Queen powers to benefit the mutant," imo an incredible foil to her future self even though they're very much the same troll and speak pretty much exactly the same. Fish puns are hysterical to me most of the time, her unwavering dedication to the shtick 4x as hard as Feferi did it and editing/improving ones she doesn't like in the middle of her sentences 😂 I cosplayed as her at AX 2013 and had a blast, except for that Cronus cosplayer who tried to hit on me in character, I had no idea what to do lmao

#homestuck #homestucktober #terezi pyrope #dave strider #karkat vantas #roxy lalonde #meenah peixes

[imnotasuperhero]

Drabble nº? (Set somewhere at the beginning of SB) - W.M

Summary: Sometimes, talks in the early morning can open your eyes to new possibilities.

A/N: Day 2 of Promptober, guys! (I know I'm super late, but I'm trying here. Lol) Hopefully, I'll get to squish my muses to complete all 31 days before the month ends. For now, enjoy this small something to add background to my ongoing baker!Wanda AU.

Could've I written more and post it on Sunday or later? Yes. But the need to try and catch up with the missing days made me do it.

-

The sweet scent of apples awoke you from a peaceful sleep, lifting your spirits to the stratosphere. With lazy socked feet, you brushed your sleep away as you made your way to the kitchen, just to feel the cozy feeling inside turn into uncertainty at the realization that the low music coming from the kitchen was no other than…

"You're up early," the brunette smiled softly as she finished pouring the batter into the mold.

"I blame your baking skills," you shrugged, ignoring the storm of feelings forming inside your chest at the sound of her soft giggles.

"Something good had to come out of it," Wanda closed the oven before turning around, landing those deep greeny eyes on you. "How did you sleep?" She relaxed her shoulders after a few seconds too long.

Smiling wickedly, you laughed drily. "It was okay. But we both know that's not what you wanted to ask."

"Can you stop reading me?" Wanda grunted before reaching to the cupboard.

Instead of answering, you rounded the table and stood beside her, with your hip perched on the countertop.

"Y/N," she warned, sending shivers down your spine.

"Answer me," you pushed.

You witnessed with rapt attention the way in which her jaw clenched at the time she swallowed hard, a clear sign that she was fighting with herself.

"Is it true what you said yesterday?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yes," you answered firmly.

Scrunitizing her reaction, your heart skiped a beat at those old quirks you've learned to recognize throughout all the years. But it wasn't till her eyes found yours that you saw a spark you knew too well but weren't able to pinpoint yet. Or maybe you did, but part of you didn't want to accept the new reality in fears of your heart shattering all over again.

Maybe this time, you could use all the lessons you learned to protect yourself. Maybe this was the endgame you always wanted but shoved in a corner of your heart.

Maybe, and just maybe, you've reached your destiny.

Taglist: @wandabear @red1culous @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @when-wolves-howl @sunsol-22 @romanoffomixam @casquinhaa @fxckmiup @snowtrova (if you wanna be added to the Promptober days or in my fics in general, let me know)

#wanda maximoff x reader #promptober #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #baker!wanda au #wanda maximoff x Y/N #wanda x Y/N #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x you #day 2 #vee writes #sweet blessing AU

[sssammich]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks for the tag, @foibles-fables

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

i'm at 122 right now (wahoo!)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

794,634 (i am on a mission to 1 million in the next couple of years)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

well i've been around many a fandom block, but i'd say for current brainrot:

supergirl (mostly supercorp, but i have a smattering of rare pairs because women, amirite?)

swan queen

bumbleby (i also still have so many rosebird dreams i'll get there someday)

makayuro (with a smattering of rare pairs also because women, amirite?)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well unsurprisingly, ever since plopping down on supercorp fandom, the numbers have been from there. but shoutout to my victorious fic from 2012 holding strong lol

evergreen, closest i get, not for nothing, you've got mail, and one way or another

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes yes absolutely!! sometimes i am late and sometimes i just leave it in there so i can have it stay unread but anyway i try to respond and i appreciate everyone who sends them to me. i have historically been a oneshot writer so it's been nice also to get comments on wips!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh shoot angstiest ending?? well i think i would say my supercorptober ficlet about memory loss of sorts might tick that (it ends kinda idk open but not bad, i will say)

but then there's also this one old soccer RPF i wrote that's more, idk, poetry than any real fic about one of them leaving lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the happiest ending? i mean all of them, i reckon. if they end up together or have a promise of together then they count lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

uhhh none that i've seen? i mean if it's in the comments, no? but if it's elsewhere, then also no? i have been fortunate in that way

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

OMG YES I AM FINALLY IN MY SMUT ERA

uh i reckon comedy smut for now (read DickFic here) but the day is young and my doc is empty so who's to say

but i have dreams for some sad smut because i'd like to develop the range LMAO

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

surprisingly, i do not. what i instead do is just little spin through five fandoms at any given time and just confuse myself that way

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

unfortunately yes. twice now. once was for my victorious fic that was used for a 5th harmony RPF lmaooo

and then on thanksgiving weekend, the first chapter of Crepe AU was posted by an anonymous for a The Wilds ship (but my friends rallied to get it taken down so i didn't have to send a takedown form to ao3 while i was traveling home)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but that would be totally rad

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i love fic writing group work so yes! i have a series of sad angsty women that i have with my best friend in my revue starlight fandom, and then, of course, @sideguitars and i have 'humans in the storeroom' (that reminds me it's my turn to write the next part smh)

i also like jumping into writing sprints or writing exercises with folks (like a round robin)

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

let's not do this, i shan't pick amongst my children

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

so far all my wips are things i wanna finish and will do my best to finish. i have a couple of retired wips that will just sit in my ao3 forever and i have made peace with them, though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i wanna say characterization, pacing, emotional resonance, and a simple and natural writing style maybe

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action?? plot??? proper AUs lmao

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i do not because i find i butcher it and also then i cringe lmao

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh written for but never posted? hermione/ginny

posted for? god probably All My Children (bianca and maggie) when i was like a teenager hahahahaha

20. Favorite fic you've written?

sorry no can do i love them all because i wrote them and there are so many things i enjoy about them. but i will say that the writing events circuit i've done this past year (supercorp bigbang, bumbleby big bang, and swan queen winter solstice) are born out of a lot of labor of love and i'm really proud of the work i've done for them.

and not for a writing event, but i am also extremely proud of re:live for mayakuro fandom-- that one makes me think that if i never wrote for that fandom again, that that's a really good fic to end on)

No-pressure tags, of course: @sideguitars, @eqt-95, @fazedlight, @luthordamnvers, @vox-ex, and @waytooinvested

(yall have probably done this before but here it just in case!)

#fic writing meme #sam lore