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quimichi · 3 months

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↳ ❝ [YOU WAKE HIM UP WITH NONSENSE] ¡! ❞ pt.2

warnings: Pet names idk some might cringe at that, bad writing, Ace affectionately calling you bitch, some maybe turn out ooc - i just suck at a few characters-my apologies

summary: You wake him up in the middle of the night talking complete nonsense

characters: Twst boys x F!Reader

word count: 4.246

a/n: THIS IDEA WAS NOT FROM ME, unfortunately i can't find the creator so if you remember tag them! My writing wasn't as good as theirs tho

Riddle

Riddle's slumber is disturbed by the sound of his name. He doesn't answer right away, opening his eyes slowly and blinking a few times before he realizes his surroundings. "My rose?..." he asks, voice tired and hoarse.

He sits up, looking over at you. He sees you, and his expression softens. "Are you not able to sleep?..." "Remeber when i was walking my whale in the mountains, and i met two talking closets offering me a discount on money?" Clearly you make no sense, after all this was planned. You have to stiffle your laugh and giggles but you manage to stay serious nonetheless. Riddle blinks a few times as he tries to process what you're saying, his sleepy brain refusing to comprehend the words.

As his thoughts clear, his eyebrows frown as he attempts to make any sense of you talking about closets. Or discounts on money.

He blinks a third time to clear his vision. The expression on his face is pure gold, priceless. He looks adorable with his mouth agape. Riddle blinks a few more times. His eyes flicker as he attempts to discern your words, but he is too sleepy to put together the pieces.

"You walked a whale?" he finally manages. "Talking closets? Discount? Mountains??" He lets himself drop backwards onto the bed again and left out a sigh. "Mhm! Talking closets in the mountains" you softly laugh as you kiss his cheek and lay down beside him. Riddles cheeks heat up lightly, and he cannot help but blush.

"You can tell me all about it once its the right time..." and before you could even answer, he's out again....

Trey

The sound of your voice stirs him from sleep, and his eyes flutter open. Trey blinks a few times, the softest smile still gracing his features. He blinks again and again, finally fully comprehending the situation. His eyes widen as his lips part.

"Ah...yes?" he whispers, rubbing his eyes to rid himself of lingering sleepiness.

"I forgot to tell you that yesterday I was out with my mixer and we saw a duck on the runway having metal teeth." You can tell that the story has stumped him for a few seconds. He blinks, seemingly trying to process what you just said.

Though he knows the words make sense separately, all together they're a rather peculiar combination. He tilts his head, his brow furrowing.

"That's...a bit strange, no? Was it a normal duck aside from its odd teeth?" "Yeah!" His mouth quirks up. You can see a glimmer of amusement flit across his features as he chuckles. "A duck with metal teeth it was then, cool i guess." he says as he tries to form a picture of it in his mind. The concept of an otherwise-normal duck sporting metal teeth would definitely be a curious sight.

He lets out a soft snicker, clearly entertained by the absurd image. "Now," he yawns, "c'mere and sleep with me now, kay?" he mumbles tiredly and pulls you closer by your hips, pressing you against his body.

Cater

Cater's eyes open slowly, as if he was only half asleep. When he sees you, his eyes widen a bit and he tries to focus. His expression is soft and a bit hazy, but he seems to recognize you immediately. When he sees you, you notice a wave of tender affection flood his body as you hear him take in a deep breath before he lets out a quiet sigh. "Whatisitbaby..." he slurrs his words together.

"I baked a broom for you and decorated it with car keys for your happy easter celebration on Christmas!" Cater blinks a few times, before he slowly lifts his head and blinks slowly. He seems a bit confused about your statement, how can someone not. He is too drowsy to respond just yet, so he merely smiles goofly at you gently and lets out a small yawn. His eyelids slowly start to close again, but he seems very content to just sit here with you.

Cater seems to be drifting off sitting, so you decide to let him return to sleep. His breathing grows heavier the moment his back hits the bed again, but you can still see his chest rise and fall softly as his body adjusts to a deeper slumber.

His face rests against your chest, but before he can fully fall back asleep again he slurrs a few words for you. "Youcantellmeallaboutitinthemornin'kaykaybaby?"

"Kay Kay, baby" you softly laugh and kiss his forehead.

Ace

Ace’s breathing pauses for a moment as he remains partially asleep. His eyelids flutter and his eyes remain closed, but he responds nonetheless. "Fuck off Juice...lemme sleep..."

"....bro youre in my room no blueberry juice here-" you deadpan. Ace raises his head, mouth open with a bit of droll running out. He blinks slowly, left eye earlier than the right, and looks drowsy at you. "Right....what's the matter babe?" He drops his head face down in the pillow again after he used all his energy to answer you. "So, yesterday when i wanted to visit the moon i accident took the wrong worm and we ended in the bushes where shoes grow." Ace laughs softly into the pillow and shakes his head at the absurdity of it all. “Ah, yes…I remember. Cool story babe.......now lemme sleep"

Before you can even react Ace wraps his arms cautiously around you and pulls beside him as he lays on his stomach. "You're one crazy bitch...fuck, i love you." He mumbles into the pillow again, before turning to face you and pull you closer into his chest. Ace lovingly kissed your forhead before stroking your hair and slowly falling asleep again.

Deuce

A quiet moan escapes Deuce’s lips, and he begins to stir. He opens his eyes and sits up— you can see that he is still half-asleep, blinking slowly and lazily at the ceiling. “Wha-...ar...are you hurt or somethin'?” he says in a gentle, hoarse whisper.

Your gentle touch on his shoulder has woken him from his rest, and yet he doesn't seem annoyed by it; quite the opposite, in fact.

"No, no I'm not hurt. But i just saw a flying console screaming for pudding outside our shower." "Pudding?" Deuce repeats the word curiously, blinking as he wipes his nose and sniffs tiredly. Your tone seems to suggest that he should find the word familiar, but the foest year seems genuinely clueless as to what you're talking about. He gives you a baffled expression, but you can tell that he's still not quite himself.

If there are any flying consoles out there, they aren't his concern. "Pudding... flying consoles..." he mumbles. "Baby, you want some pudding...?" He ask tiredly, looking over at clock on the wall, luckly the moonlight lets him see the time. "At..." he squint his eyes, "8 am?"...3 am but you don't want to burst his bubble just yet.

"I can wait till 8 am, no biggie" you say, smiling at how concerned but also confused he is. Although hes tired he still tries to be a good boyfriend for you. "M'kay...g'night..."...out like a light.

Leona

"Hmm" Leona groans. His hands trail up and down beside him lookung for your body to pull you closer against his body. But he didn't found you, instead you were sitting up. "Herbivore,...c'mere already."

He's still slightly groggy from sleep. Its common knowledge, waking Leona Kingscholar up is an unofficial crime. And now you even left his arms, the audacity. Good thing hes way to tired at 2am.

"I was looking for my teapot but instead found a dancing glass of ice tea waiting at the traffic light to turn into a tulip." "Ah... what?" Leona murmurs, slowly shifting upward. His gaze is still half-lidded by sleep; his eyes have yet to come back into focus.

He blinks at you a couple of times, before finally rubbing his eyes and frowning. Leona looks somewhat annoyed. "What nonsense are you saying?" He blinks some more, his voice still rough with sleepiness. "I...I love you come back and sleep." And since you didn't immediately react to him he growls back a, "Now."

Ruggie

Ruggie stirs at your voice, ears laying flat and lazy against his head. He opens his eyes slowly and looks at you with half lidded, sleepy eyes. "Mmm...is it morning already?" he asks quietly. "No." You smile gently at him and kiss his cheek. He smiles dopey and falls back against the pillows. "But...when I tried to read the picture about the story of the bear who went jogging in the clouds, i got confused."

Ruggie is just as confused. But smiles slightly as he props himself up in bed. He rubs his eyes, his expression one of amusement layered with tiredness.

"Ya know..., you really need to stop askin' me to help you with your homework,” he mumbles. "Huh?" "...Huh?" "....oh-" "yeah?..." Ruggie didn't know what he said, neither did he knows what he actually understood. And neither did you. You both just blink at each other looking confused, before he drops down into the pillows again and holds his arms out for you. "Come back and cuddle...ya silly little minx"

Jack

His ears twitch at the sound of your voice, and his eyes dart open in a sharp flutter. Blinking away the lingering sleep from his eyes, the world comes into focus.

When he realizes that its only you in front of him, he relaxes. "Are you not feeling well?" He's definitely not wide awake but isn't half asleep either. He quickly sits up too and puts his hand on your cheek, caressing your skin with his thumb as he looks at you worried. That would make you melt under normal circumstances, but you had other plans this night. "I was attacked by a wild blueberry and it wanted to read my eyelashes off my nails."

Jack blinks. His thumb stops moving as he is processing your words slowly. "... You're... you're..." He trails off at the nonsensicality of the sentence. The words don't register, and he looks at you with confusion. His brow furrows.

"What?"

You can't help but giggle. "Alright...time for you to get some sleep, hm?" Jack sounds exhausting, from being sleepy and from you. He stroke your cheek lovingly one last time, before you cave in and lay back into bed. "Good girl...", sudden tiredness came over Jack and he lays back beside you, pulling you against his chest.

Azul

The voice breaks him from his slumber. He flinches in surprise, waking from a deep sleep. His lavender eyes shoot open. They look at you with a certain amount of fright — until they register your face, in the darkness of your bedroom.

"Pearl?" His voice is a whisper— husky with sleep, but soft all the same. "If a snail flys into a tree, does it turn pink or will it eat chips?" You immediately hit him with your nonsense, no mercy. Azul stares at you in utter confusion. His face is one of uncertainty, and a touch of amusement as he tries to make sense of your question.

He settles on a response, but is not entirely confident in its truth. "I do not know, Pearl." He murmurs. "But what i know is that you should be asleep." You know he's right, but you also just wanted to have some fun. Azul gently pulls you back against his chest. He smiles at you warmly as he wraps your body in his arms.

He presses his lips to the top of your head. His hands come up to your hair, fingers threading through yours and gently stroking you, brushing them down your back to soothe your weary bones. "We can...discuss this tomorrow..." You just nod, snuggling up to him. Teasing him didn't work, but at least you got his affection.

Jade

Jade always sleeps lightly, so the tiny call of his name immediately wakes him. "Hmmm…" his voice is barely above a whisper as he wakes. He reaches out for you, his movements gentle, his eyes searching in the darkness for your body. "Mm...Guppy?"

"Do teeth grown on walls when they are covered in amnesia?"

The question catches Jade by surprise, his brow furrowed as he contemplates your words. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again, his brow now a full-on frown as he tries to formulate an answer.

"No?" he says slowly, voice sounding like a question rather than an assertion. He furrows his brow even further, brows meeting in the middle of his forehead. "...You know...there are situations where i feel like Floyd rubbed off on you..." he says. "Ey-!" Jade lets out a tired chuckle before pulling you back against his chest again. "My little guppy...so dumb sometimes, hm?"

Floyd

His pale eyes snap open as soon as he recognizes your voice. "Shrimpyyy," he whines quietly, his voice quivering in his surprise from being pulled from his slumber. "Why'd wake meee?" he mumbles and pulls you closer and tighter against his body, at this point youre used to it. "Do ghosts twerk when you play them ladders and earth?"

As odd a question as it was (Floyd is too), he doesn't even flinch. Instead, he takes a moment to process it before nodding, his lips curling into a smile as he answers, "Of course! Everyone knows ghosts like to twerk." Floyd just starts to giggle in delight, wiggling you around happily, "Aww shrimpy i love you! You're so silly!" He gave you one last kiss on your head before his smile drops, "But we gotta sleep now, so you better behave and don't wake me up again." Though he is still a little unsteady from being woken up so suddenly, his strength still remains in his embrace. From the way he holds you, you can feel how much he loves you. He wants you close. He wants to keep you with him. Forever even.

Kalim

His brows furrow as his eyes continue to stay shut. But your voice was enough to rouse him.

"Hmm?" his lips part, but his voice is still hoarse with sleep, and he doesn't open his eyes yet. Before he can open them or even get remotely more awake, you attack him immediately. "How do i know if a bunny catches a goldfish in a storm of wandering suns?" His brows furrow even further as his head shifts toward your direction. That question did nothing to make any kind of sense to him.

"H-Huh?" he asks warily, his eyes slowly opening just as his brows are un-furrowing. "I- Um." He looks around, his thoughts scattered.

"Lemme ask Jamil real quick...Ja-!" "No-!" Befode he can wake up the poor exhausted second year who just got into bed, you shut Kalim with your hand against his mouth. "Shhh-" He keeps mumbling against your hand, before he choses to gently kiss the inside of your hand. "Tschul...pwease led me go" "Huh?" You raise your hand, "I said, Jewel, please let me go-!" Kalims arms wrap around you in an instant. He buries his face into your shoulder, seeking the warmth of your arms. All of the tension in his body seems to ease at once, replaced by the comfort that he feels when he is in your presence.

He nuzzles his head into your shoulder, the touch being all that he needs for him to be at peace. "Ahhh, I'm wide awake now..."

Jamil

His head tilts a little as the sound of your voice reaches his ears. His head turns in your direction. His breathing is shallow and steady, his eyes closed.

"Mm? What now?..." "Do dogs cry rainbows when they breath daisies on a sunday bell?" There's a moment of silence as your question registers in Jamils mind. The wheels are turning, and you can tell he's processing it.

Finally, he answers, "No, my love. Dogs cannot cry rainbows when they breathe daisies on a Sunday bell....now good night." "Oh-" you were taken aback by how fast and serious he answers. Probably used to it from Kalim. It takes him a moment to realize he should explain his answer. "Dogs are not... capable of...crying rainbows and certainly not when they breathe daisies on a Sunday bell. The latter is...quite nonsensical, actually." A hint of a smile tugs at his mouth, but the expression does not fully reach his lips, "As expected from you "

He waits, allowing a moment to pass to see if you have a response. "Good night Jamil...." "Good night."

Vil

(Bro would honestly kill you but---lets forget about that now-)

His eyes flutter open as he removes his sleeping mask.They blink slowly, fighting off the haze of sleep. And then, they fix on you.

"Yes?" He whispers. Vil is scared you might be in pain, or a different problem flared up. But instead you hit him with this nonsense.

"If a goose loves an ogre, do they drink pebbles in the moonlight?" His mind reels from this seemingly nonsensical question. His body is tense as a whip, his heart pounding in his chest. This feels like a trap, but his mind scrambles to find a response.

He opens his mouth, then stops. He tilts his head, then opens his mouth once more, stopping. He blinks, staring at you.

Then, his lips curl to a smile. "Yes they do," he affirms with complete certainty. "They drink pebbles in the moonlight. And you know what else they do?" "No?" God bless your innocence in this moment, "They never wake up one another when they have their beauty sleep and don't ask them stupid questions." "Oh-..."

Rook

The sound of your voice, however small and soft, stirs Rook from his "slumber". Rook is never truly asleep, a good hunter never rests. He cracks open his eyes, and his lips form a smile and part to form a word.

"Yes?" he excitingly says, though the word, meant hushed and quite, was more loud than expected. "Yesterday I saw a sheep kissing a well and singing it a waterfall because it couldn’t catch a pizza." Without missing a beat he answers, "What a marvelous story mon ange! Did you come up with it yourself?" You nod proudly, not using one braincell to come up with words in the first place is and accomplishment! "Oh, mon ange, would you tell me more about this loving relationship between this talented sheep and its well-lover?"

Rook responds by wrapping his arms tightly around you. He presses his body close to yours, his fingers kneading at you. His touch is gentle but firm. Time seems to slow down as you two press even closer against one another, and you come up with more nonsense to entertain him. The world fades away to oblivion as thoughts of every day concerns slip away and you two embrace the warm bliss of that moment.

Rook doesn't say anything. He only smiles with pure adoration at you and listens to every single word. He just holds you, his every atom focused on being near you. Like always.

Epel

"Epel, Epel, Epel, Epel, Ep-" said guy blinks a few times in an effort to fully awaken as he hears you call his name multiple times. He squints his eyes as he adjusts to the full moon lighting of his bedroom.

He blinks again, rubbing the weariness out of his eyes. "Yeah?" he mumbles softly, his voice still sluggish with sleep. "I just saw an owl wearing a hoddie and stealing a womans wig while the sky was skittles." Epel blinks a few times, trying to process the words you just conveyed. He opens his eyes wider and shakes his head.

"Sounds like you had one wild dream," he whispers as gently as possible, "But at least it wasn't a nightmare so...ya should probably go back to sleep now." Epel's voice is a murmur as he slowly leans down to kiss the top of your head. His cheek brushes against your hair as he nuzzles into the softness, and he takes a deep breath.

His gaze lingers on your face, studying your features as he pulls back slowly. "I'll watch over you so you won't have any strange dreams..."

Idia

The sound of your voice cracks through his mind, jolting him to attention. Idia jolts up from sleep, startled. The sight of you makes his heart skip a beat.

He blinks his eyes open, staring back at you for a moment as he reorients himself. His breathing is quick and shallow, but he steadies himself. "Is-Is something wrong?!" He sounds genuinely scared and worried for you, you almost feel bad about what you're gonna do. "Horses eat frames so they can fly faster to the basement of the Texas curtains."

"Cool" Idia says softly, and his eyes squint. He tilts his head, clearly not tracking your train of thought. His body is tense, his mind dense, on edge as he attempts to make sense of what you just said. "Babe...explain," Idia says, his voice a near whisper. He narrows his eyes, concentrating on your words.

His lips purse for a moment, and he shakes his head slightly. "Can't make sense...might call Ortho..."

Malleus

His chest freezes with a sharp inhale, and he opens his eyes. His heart pounds in his throat, a nervous flutter. "Yes!? Love? I'm here," he says, his voice hoarse from a few hours of undisturbed slumber.

He blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes as he looks up to you, sitting in bed. He wants to speak, but the words can't leave because you beat him to it.

"2 birds were fighting over a brush because it tastes like fries on a Tuesday afternoon." His eyes narrow as he tries to process what you just said. "Tastes...like... fries? on a... Tuesday?"

Confusion clouds his expression, and he cocks his head slightly to the side. Your lack of response only cements his uncertainty. Was that a question? A question you expect him to answer, or was it a joke?

His frown deepens and he clears his throat, "The old man once told me abouta thing called Hoocus Poocus (my stupid idea of google)" he says slowly, raising from bed and groaning like and old man with back problems before he walks over to his phone on his desk. "Maybe this can help...my love?...Do you recall how I alive this device?"

Lilia

The snore halts, the sudden outburst of sound startling him out of his sleep. He wakes up like a mother, with a loud gasp. His eyes shoot open as he bolts upright, and he stares straight at you with an anxious expression on his face. "Has the time finally come?" "W-What time?" "Where i may or may not have left a cake in the oven and it caught fire." He says it with such ease...like he did leave a cake in the oven to burn down the entire dorm.

"No-!....I just wanted to know if you can cactus me a cucumber." He stares at you blankly. Your request takes a few seconds before registering in his mind. A brief flicker of concern crosses his face, but it is fleeting as he realizes you are being facetious. Oh, how much he loves your stupid ass.

He lets out a small laugh. "I'll cactus you a cucumber tomorrow, dearest."

Silver

He is so used on your voice that even in his slumber, your words reach his core. When you call out to him, his breathing grows shallow and his eyelids begin to flutter a bit. His lips twitch again, and he turns his head slightly.

"Ahh...whatisit..." "I slept on a dentist with a horn and he fixed my hair with his light switch." Silver's eyes snap open at your words. You've caught him off-guard yet again. He stares at you for a long moment before he finally speaks.

"You slept...on a dentist..?" He's still half-asleep, his voice quiet and hoarse. "Princess, did you cheat on me?" A quiet, breathy laugh escapes his lips for a split second. Your words are nonsense, and he knows it.

He swallows down another laugh, biting his tongue in an attempt to stifle it as he sees your horrified face. "Shut up..." you mumble, why does no teasing ever work with him?

Sebek

"I'M AWAKE AND READY-!," Sebek is startled awake, sitting up quickly. His eyes open with an instant, and he glances around, his gaze settling on you. "HUMAN? YOU AWOKE ME BECAUSE SAVANACLAW FINALLY ATTACKED DIASOMNIA TO KIDNAPP LORD MALLEUS, RIGHT?!"

"......no but, a egg just gave birth to a basball and now his golf wife is mad."

Sebek blinks for a moment, his brain trying to comprehend your bizarre statement. His face twists, you can't tell if its anger or regret. Regret for ever letting himself catch feelings for you. You never heard him being so silent, cause even in his sleep hes loud...he snores.

"...Human?" "Yes?" "I will escort you back to ramshackle so you can spend the rest of the night in your dorm."

"Nooo-!" "Yes-ah-ey-let go of me-!" He gasps at the sudden embrace, and he stiffens as a flood of emotions rush through his heart. His arms hang loosely at his sides as he is swept into your warm embrace. There is no resisting it. No matter how much he trys, he will always love you no matter what.

He feels like he's going to melt.

2K notes · View notes

mallowstep · 3 years

Note

What are your opinions on forbidden relationships in Warriors? I've seen people label it as a "trope" because of how common this is. Some find the forbidden romance aspect intriguing, though others find it extremely repetitive and old

I'd like to know your thoughts!

hm. well, it is a trope. i mean, there's an average of one major one a series, right? greysilver, leafcrow (and others, but that's the big one), heatherlion (and implied others), tigerdove, idk i don't remember anything from avos but violetshine luv her but there's probably something, bristleroot. dotc doesn't count bc well it's dotc.

anyway.

definitely a trope.

but that's not a bad thing.

what i think people don't give warriors enough credit for is that these are not all the same forbidden romance. most of them are handled in different ways and bring up different conflicts. i understand why people are tired of them, but let's not discredit one of the only good things in warriors romance: that they make forbidden relationships different.

like, with grey and silver, it's about loyalty and responsibility. leafcrow is just bad idea central, both heatherlion and tigerdove are about responsibilities and young cats, and they have two different answers, and bristleroot is challenging the whole idea from the start.

so like. give credit where credit is due: we're not doing the same (forbidden) relationships again and again. i don't see enough people talk about that.

okay so it turns out i have um. a lot of thoughts about this. idk i just kept writing and now it's over 2k words. so you know. under the cut: matthew does half-baked media analysis to talk about why the code and cats' relationships to it are misunderstood. while actually staying on topic.

anyway from here on i'm just going to say relationship/romance, and understand that i'm generally talking about the forbidden kind. also i'm talking exclusively within the realm of warriors romance, which is, on average, bad. so when i say "X is good," i don't mean "X is good in general," i mean "given what we have, X is good." just to be clear.

right! basically, this is a tool. it creates tension and drama, and that's fine. warriors is a soap opera, remember. soap operas use secrets and relationships and all sorts of plot devices over and over again. warriors is not Serious. it can be dark. it has serious moments. but it is not a Serious Book Series for Serious Kids. it is a soap opera for Future Theatre Kids. yeah?

from that perspective, i'm a-ok with forbidden romance. (also, as a mini-aside, it creates some much-needed genetic diversity when kits are involved.) and again: all of the major relationships are different, so i think that's better than a lot of people give it credit for.

yeah, heatherlion and greysilver and tigerdove are all about the same general idea (loyalty and responsibility), but they all have different circumstances and different resolutions.

so like? yeah. sure. why not?

plus, like, who's reading warriors for the romance? i separate the concept of "romance" from a "relationship" here: i like the relationships in warriors (ivy and dove tension my beloved), but i'm not here to read about tigerheart wooing dovewing. (yes, i do love the tigerdove scenes in oots. no, that's not because i think they're very good at being romantic.)

but i digress.

if warriors was a Serious Book Series for Serious Kids, i'd have a different take here. having been in an IRL forbidden relationship, i have the Personal Insight and Experience to say they're this weird mash of "very much how it feels" and "not at all how it feels."

tigerdove is probably my favourite bc it's the closest to my circumstances, and i think dovewing is a good pov. i like how she breaks up with him because it's a bad idea, but that's not the same thing as not feeling for him.

(heh. twelve-year-old me reading oots like "this will never apply to my life" what did you know)

but to the point, if warriors was serious, i'd point out that the consequences always seem to be internal. we haven't seen characters be punished for their actions. and so on.

but warriors is a soap opera.

and here's my actual thesis: we haven't seen characters be punished for their actions, because "forbidden relationships" are a normal and expected part of clan society.

like no, fandom-at-large, you're kind of missing the point. okay, you know how like. people complain about. idk. ivypool and fernsong being distantly related?

(third aside/very long ivyfern rant, i put a nice big "rant over" after it if you want to skip past it: they're third cousins. they share, max, 2.2% of their genetics. they are fine. do you know your third cousins? do you? yeah. and like. they live in a closed society. there is no one new.

i've never seen someone complain about forbidden romance and ivyfern at the same time, and i do generally agree we should have more mystery fathers, altho for a different reason, but like. idk. this bothers me.

their last shared relative was nutmeg. that's so far back. god. i get it, there was a prophecy saying they're related, but if you remember my rant about how dovewing shouldn't be a part of the prophecy because of how distantly related to firestar is, you know how i feel about that already.

complaining they're related and that's a problem is. deep breath here. it requires demonstrating that warriors has kept track of kinship all the way back to firestar's mother. and even if you wave that requirement, you still have to convince me they would care about that. this isn't a "they're cats, harold" situation, this is a "you would not know your third cousin even if you lived in the same town" situation.

i mean maybe you would. some people do. but my hometown has generations of people who married within its borders. you get as far as "cousin," maybe "second cousin" if you're feeling fancy. i'm not trying to make an always true statement, i just. every time i see someone complain about ivyfern being related, it strikes me as not understanding how extended families work?

i know third cousins isn't technically classified as a distant relative, but you have, on average, 190 third cousins. i feel so strongly about this i looked it up.

like i'm not. okay if you say, "I don't ship ivyfern because they are third cousins and that makes me uncomfortable" you are Valid. in general, you are all valid. i do not think you have to, on a personal level, be okay with ivyfern. you are free to do as you wish.

but. if you want to argue "ivyfern is a Bad Ship because they are third cousins" you have a hell of a burden of proof. simply saying "they share a great-great-grandmother" does not meet that, because like. yeah. we're all pretty damn related.)

(ivyfern rant over)

IVYFERN RANT OVER

right so. anyway. if you remove forbidden romance? you're forcing a lot more of those situations.

i've been messing around with modelling some small-scale fan clan-adjacent stuff to double-check the ratios for wbcd, and it's. it quickly becomes a necessity, is what i'm saying.

but i got distracted like. researching how related third cousins are. my point is not about that, that's like. a different topic. that i crammed into here because i have no self-control.

no, no, what i was trying to get to is: oakheart straight up tells us that cats have half-clan kits all the time, it's not a problem, no one talks about it. and that? that is exactly what we see modelled by warriors.

the only reason greystripe and silverstream have a problem is that silverstream dies and greystripe claims the kits. i feel very strongly that if she had lived, the kits would have been born and raised riverclan kits, that might, maybe, one day, guess who their father is.

we haven't had any half clan kits in a while, which yes! i think is a problem, but like. the fact that the three are medicine cat kits seems to be a bigger issue. which feels right.

and i'm not trying to argue what i think should be, i legitimately believe the text of warriors defends this, even in newer books which throw out a lot of the older world building in favour of more human-like conflict.

as readers, we are naturally following protagonists. we are following the interesting story. but imagine you're just a background riverclan cat. minnowtail, if you will. do you think, do you honestly think, anyone cares about minnowtail?

not in a bad way, just. if she's meeting up with mousewhisker at night, do you think anyone cares? of course not! no one cares. she's not a Protagonist. her kits aren't going to be prophesized about.

heck, finleap switches clans! and it's barely a big deal. it feels like one, but when's the last time anyone bothered dealing with it? that's what i thought.

(also i forgot like all of avos so that very last point might be a bad one if it is my argument stands i just literally do not remember anything in avos but violetshine. none. zero.)

but it's easy to get caught up with characters like hollyleaf and bristlefrost and forget that like. not everyone cares about the code. most of our protagonists do, because it's become mostly equivalent with being moral. and i have an essay draft titled "the code as religion vs the code as law" where i want to expand on this more, but i think like. that idea, that we as readers should use the code as a way of evaluating cats' behaviour, is flawed.

like, i'm not talking about being inconsistent with how that is applied. if you want to say, "the trial leafpool goes through for having half-clan kits is legitimate because of the code," i still think your approach is flawed.

because the cats themselves don't seem to think that way.

the code doesn't, to me, feel like the ten commandments. it does not feel like "you must do this to be a good cat."

rather, it feels like aesop's parables. "here are mistakes cats made and what we do instead of that."

i don't think the cats know the code the way we do. i do not think they memorize a list of rules as kits. i think they know what is and is not part of it, but i imagine they know the stories far more than the rules.

(i'm working on my lore stories to replace code of the clans.)

and even if that's my thoughts, i do think this is supported by the text. no one ever teaches the warrior code, cats just learn it in pieces. "don't waste food because we don't have enough to spare" is taught, not "there's a rule about food and starclan on the code."

that's why the whole arc of the broken code even works: the reason the imposter is able to manipulate things is because cats don't treat the code as a rigid set of rules and commandments, but guiding principles.

the parts of the code that we tend to focus on the most are relationships, apprentices, and battle. or that's my perception. i didn't do a poll to obtain that. there's also the leader's word, but readers don't usually think of that as a good rule, so i'm not including it.

but the parts the cats focus on most are food, territory, and the leader's word. which makes sense: those are basic needs: food, security, and...i don't want to say authority so much as some kind of social system. explaining it would be a whole thing. just trust with me, if you don't mind.

i don't think we have any real reason to believe cats care about half-clan relationships half as much as we do. yes, apprentices are chastized about it, but that's not really the same thing as being punished.

and it's hard to tell, because apprentices being punished has really fallen off, and that's kind of the problem with any argument i try to make about warriors, but.

wow.

i'm actually still on topic? i'm 2k words in and i'm still on topic? a day i never thought would come.

let's wrap this up. cats seem to care about half clan relationships in that: a) they lead to conflicted loyalties, b) they mess with borders and prey, and c) they are in the code as bad. in that order.

and again, if the code was some high and holy religious doctrine, we couldn't have the broken code as an arc. it does not work if the cats are already following it to a t, and know it word for word, because it's signfiicantly harder to manipulate people if they do.

not to the level the imposter does, at the speed he does.

and yes, you could argue that it's more bad writing, but. i think that discredits warriors. yeah, it sure has its fair share of bad writing, but i don't think that's in the way the imposter works. instead, he seizes on a big important doctrine that's nebulous, and uses that to control people.

and that? that feels much more interesting.

so with that in mind, i don't think the cats would care about your typical, non-protagonist forbidden relationship, and i don't think we should, either.

as far as a plot device, i think we're okay with what we have. don't get me wrong, i understand why people are tired of it, but i think we also should remember that warriors is not repeating itself. having multiple forbidden relationships is not repetitive. now, if medicine cats were having half-clan kits every series, i'd make a different argument.

but all of the major forbidden relationships have different outcomes, lessons, and circumstances, and for me, i think that's signficantly interesting.

i didn't really check sources and quotes for this, so like, if you spotted something wrong, feel free to correct me. my overall point stands, but there's a lot of warriors and i have a bad memory, so i could have missed somthing major.

#ask #anon #essay #mine #discourse #not really but you know

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perhapsthanatos · 3 years

Text

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

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incorrect-hs-quotes · 3 years

Note

what are some of mod dave's aus

uhh ok this is a fucking plethora

SO I HAVE!!

HUMANSTUCK - i just imagine this one by default,,, uhh john was definitely born in athens greece. terezis been chinese / korean this whole time idk what youre talking abou-,t-

DEMIGODSTUCK - i Know i have gone into detail about on this blog before. my favorite concepts from this one are greyro ace vitiligo aphrodite son karkat who doesnt feel like he fits in with his cabin cause they make fun of him for being “ugly” and “loveless” and then he comes around and completes a quest and becomes head counselor, and uhhh hephaestus dirk who has pyrokinesis and also loses an arm so now hes got a metal one he built himself

DONT LOOK DOWN - my greyromantic human-collegestuck 18kword banekat fic im writing which ive Also mentioned on this blog before

DEAD KIDS - this is based off a katie alender book called “the dead girls of hysteria hall” please read that book its fucking phenomenal dave is the one who inherited the asylum and all the homestuck girls are the ghosts trapped inside its made my friends cry before when i made them read it hal almost busted out his witch charm and warded me away cause of dead kids

DONT STARVE - where everyone lives in the 1920s and they get sucked into tim burton minecraft island hell and they all gotta survive there (handmaid is definitely charlie. it fucks aradia up cause she Knows. think like winona. she gets one free night without being consumed by the darkness itself cause Family Reasons)

MINECRAFT - this one is where a lot of people are like sentient humanoid half-creatures like sollux is half creeper half human and dont. uh. dont get him mad. also drowned eridan and feferi but theyre not dead or brainless they just be lookin like that. its cool !! you know !!!

MEDIEVALSTUCK - terezi is an oracle of the church except not anymore shes blasphemous and gets exiled and its her and a bunch of friends who are all like “wow the kingdom thought i was weird too lets all have an adventure together”!! examples: dave cant be a knight cause his eyes are red and that means hes the devil. sollux is a mage who specializes in death-related magic so obviously he brought upon this plague. rose is a lesbian thats not allowed also shes a WITCH. kanayas a vampire. shes just a vampire. she proposes to rose with a sword

EARTH INVASION - this is a no-sburb au where the alternian empire came and took over earth as a colony, also all the trolls exist at the same time as the revolution so like the whole vantas family gets to help out, and the humans are taken as like property cause theyre Technically Lowbloods but theyre Not having it so they all escape and join the rebellion and take down the GOVERNMENT

TROLLSTUCK - daves a mutantblood (same idea where all troll generations exist at the same time) and he finds the vantas rebellion and JADE is a LIMEBLOOD and she is NOT having a good time but shshhs shh its ok shes an olive its FINE

BLOOD / KIDSWAP - kanaya is the vantas and she thinks shes so clever cause shes posing as a bronzeblood. there IS sburb in this one. also dave egbert and john harley. love those boys. jade lalonde is a terrifying concept if she ever goes grimdark run away immediately

OPPOSITESTUCK - jade is the main character and she just wants everyone to shut the fuck up. this is also a sburb au and she hates her land its Too Loud. uhh rose is a being of chaos and exists in the void outside of spacetime itself. and john is a little bastard. tavros is now The Antichad. which is a valid ancestor name actually-

CYBERSTUCK - this one is really really specific, uhh its a post-apocalyptic dystopian cyberpunk futuristic humanstuck where the city everyone lives in once flourished with the help of several versions of androids, but as they advanced they needed more and more power which became fucking nuclear and there was a fallout. so now everythings radioactive, everyones scrounging to survive, androids from “the underground” (the main core of where most of specifically the power droids were kept) are SUPER fucking valuable cause theyre able to give you power, and the radioactivity mutated a lot of people so instead of zombies there are just mutants. and roxy is one of them but theyre still sentient so they look like fucking HEINOUSTUCK roxy but theyre still like. vibing

MAFIASTUCK - where everyone does Illegal Things but mostly not like morally illegal things. just like. yknow daves a thief and. sollux is the most wanted anonymous hacker in texas,, uh. dirk commits arson sometimes,. vriska is vriska,.. jane is in on some high key white collar crimes in the crockercorp company,, and poor john is just this normal idiot surrounded by all of this at college and hes like “god. i hate you all. please be normal”

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG - uhh john has a miraculous and its firefly themed and thats his name !! “firefly”!!! his Big Power is like “typhoon” or some shit he can make a big storm Go and serenity the firefly is his little fuckin uhhh Friend. the Miraculous Animal i forgot what it was called

YOUTUBERSTUCK - this ones based off unus annus p much where like theyre all youtubers and thats how they all met like john and dahnte (banes oc, ive also talked about dahnte) are unus annus and dave and sollux are like. good mythical morning and roxy is an asmr channel and kanaya is a makeup tutorial channel and jade has a vlog with her dog and its called doggy vloggies and eridan does all these science experiments and jane has a baking channel and nepeta ,, she just like. does, what she does and people like her. she doesnt have a genre. shes just nepeta on youtube. and shes a fucking hit. also dirk and jake make music

then like i obviously have concept aus that are pretty much just designs, like gemstuck where theyre all . ,, steven universe gems, and then rwbystuck where theyre all at beacon academy and have their own semblances, and a one piece au where theyre all pirates and some of them ate the Big Shit Fruits, and my own flavor of demonstuck cause who doesnt have a demonstuck, and stardew valley stuck (which i call starstuck valley) where a couple of them are farmers on their own respective farms and they all come together amidst the idiot villagers and go “hey did that wizard make you drink that leaf juice soup too or like is that just me”, and a survivalstuck where the whole premise is like. “the forest” kinda game. oh shit your plane went down and youre stranded in the woods. find your friends and survive. maybe dont get near those eight-armed women with no heads. thats a good idea

long story short i have. uh. a plethora

#not a quote #mod dave #long

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spin-birdie · 4 years

Text

hurgh....ace attorney but its pokemon

i boot up my switch. i check the news. i see the trailer for the crown tundra. i immediately get pokemon brainrot

anyway heres some half-baked ideas for an au with some help from ppl in the narumitsu discord gdsngksns (it got long so it’s under the cut)

gym leaders. everyone’s a gym leader. also i’m stealing the concept of the gym challenge from swsh because that SLAPS

whatever region theyre in thats based on japanifornia it’s pretty lax with their gym leaders. the gyms have to be branded based on what type they specialise in but the gym leaders can use basically whatever they want. as a result a lot of them lean more heavily on specific gimmicks during battle (remember how half of raihans team isnt even dragon type because they have weather abilities? yeah that but everyone could get away with it if they wanted to)

phoenix, larry, and miles did their gym challenge at the same time, that’s how they met and became friends. larry bailed out after the 7th gym, phoenix lost to miles in the semifinals and miles lost the final match of the finals, before he could get a chance to face the champion

miles moved to another region a few months after the gym challenge, and when phoenix turned 18 he moved to the other side of the region for college, so they lost touch for a few years. they meet again when they all become gym leaders in the same year. they’ve all changed a lot but they recognise each other almost instantly.

the first gym challenge after they become gym leaders is also when maya, klavier and apollo sign up for the gym challenge. (maybe trucy, athena and pearl as well but wouldnt they be super young i dunno)

oh yeah gym leaders.......hang on here they are in order

gumshoe - runs a normal type gym, but his team actually consists almost entirely of dogs. his partner is a bibarel.

phoenix - runs a fire type gym. i didn’t put any thought into this. the only reason he’s a fire gym leader in this au is because someone in the narumitsu server mentioned him having a fletchling as his partner and i liked the idea too much. his partner is a talonflame.

larry - runs a psychic type gym. this comes as a shock to basically everyone because “psychic-type specialist” brings about a certain mental image and he aint it, chief. he just thinks psychic types are neat. also he has an alakazam who hates him. his partner is an espeon.

mia - runs a ghost type gym, but she doesn’t lean into it that much. i don’t know what her gimmick is. her partner is a froslass or a chandelure (i never decided. i could see diego being a fire type specialist and giving her a litwick as a gift)

iris & dahlia - run a fairy type gym together. they inherited it from someone, probably. their gym’s main gimmick is double battles, which doesn’t work out great for them. they’re incredibly competent trainers on their own, but in double battles they’re rarely on the same wavelength. iris’ partner is a mimikyu. dahlia’s partner is a galarian weezing (or maybe a salazzle)

kristoph - runs a poison type gym. i thought it was funny. i never bothered to figure out what his partner is because i haven’t played aa4 in a LONG time.

blackquill - runs a flying type gym. his team is all birds, and they’re all best friends with him. there’s a reason NPCs can’t use stuff like affection (that thing where your pokemon spontaneously cure themselves of status conditions and tough out fainting blows bc they love you so much) but blackquill’s team can and they’re so op, pls nerf. i didn’t decide what his partner is.

miles - runs a dragon type gym. the von karmas are essentially dragon tamers, so once he started training under them he became skilled with dragon types as well. his partner is a bisharp that he doesn’t use in battle (at first, anyway...)

there’s no elite four. i like sword and shield, sue me.

manfred von karma is the champion of the region. he’s corrupt as fuck. idk i only thought out like 20% of this au

some miscellaneous shit:

mia wants to retire after the gym challenge and pass her gym on to maya.

kristoph is also corrupt as fuck. probably doing some chairman rose bullshit behind the scenes. klavier inherits his gym because kristoph got arrested lmao

phoenix has a salazzle on his team. he got it from dahlia

i havent decided what partner pokemon the challengers have, but i like the idea of klavier having a toxtricity. after he takes over kristoph’s gym, he makes it music-themed and all his pokemon use sound-based attacks like echoed voice and perish song

franziska is probably the champion of whatever region is based on germany. her partner is an altaria

idk if or where diego appears in this au but if he does he’s got beef with phoenix because they both use fire types and he’s disproportionately mad about it gkldsngkl im not funny

gregory edgeworth specialised in steel types (which is why miles has a bisharp). he’s probably still dead but i don’t know how he dies

maybe the first thing phoenix realises after meeting miles again is “hey i thought you didn’t like dragon types what’s up with that” but idk

something phoenix DEFINITELY realised is that he’s got a type disadvantage on miles now. on their gym challenge he had the upper hand when it came to fletchling vs. pawniard because fire > steel, but dragon resists fire so every time they fight miles wipes the floor with him dskfjsdkfjk

if trucy or any of the gramaryes are in this au maybe they’re psychic type specialists? :eyes:

if athena’s here she has a pikachu. i just think it would be funny. (but seriously i like the idea of her being an electric specialist. i have not seen jack shit about aa5 or 6)

oh speaking of shit i dont know about 5 or 6: aura might be here? if she is she’s a steel type user. her partner is a skarmory which is the sister of simon’s skarmory. it slaps

thats your lot. if you have any other ideas lemme know bc i think this is a neat concept but im way too lazy to do anything with it

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sippin-on-red-wine · 5 years

Text

No. 6 Collaborations Project: A review!

It’s been a week since this fabulous album has dropped into our hands. Click “Keep reading to hear my thoughts on each track!

Track 1. Beautiful People Khalid ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You look stunning dear/So don’t ask that question here

Thoughts/Reflection: Ed keeps referring to this song as ‘cozy’ and I completely agree. The vibe is cool. I love the tone of his voice here and I think it meshes really nicely with Khalid’s. The content isn’t super relatable, but I think we can all take something away from this one. It’s a good note on self-awareness and being able to see the reality in things that may look glamorous on the surface.

Track 2. South of the Border feat. Camila Cabello, Cardi B ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So join me in this bed that I’m in/Push up on me and sweat darlin’/So I’m gonna put my time in/Won’t stop until the angels sing

Thoughts/Reflection: This track is literally freaking scorching hot fire. TBH I’m surprised that they led the album with IDC and not this one. It feels like big radio potential to me. Regardless, this song is an absolute BOP - so catchy and so fucking sexy.

I know Ed’s Spanish leaves something to be desired ☺ But I feel like we can cut him some slack after singing (yet another) song dedicated to going down on a woman. The ginger is forgiven! Five stars for him! And I’m going to have SOTB on repeat all summer (or for the rest of my life).

Oh, I also really like Cardi on this song. IDK if she’s problematic or w/e, I don’t really follow her in the media at all. But her verse is fun. (I think Ed got a lil jungle fever AY) bahahahah

Track 3. Cross Me feat. Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit/Keep a lil blade in her fuckin’ lip gloss kit

Thoughts/Reflection: Love love love LOVE this one. It just makes you want to get up and DANCE the damn thing! I have to laugh a little at the thought of Ed being hard & tough, lol, but it’s a cool concept nonetheless. Like he said in his Charlemagne interview, it’s kind of a love song…. but a different tempo. It’s catchy as all hell and Chance’s verse is fucking cool.

Full points.

Track 4. Take Me Back to London feat. Stormzy ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Coz you can win BRITS (it don’t stop)/And you can do Glasto (headline slot)

Thoughts/Reflection: Fuck. This song, though. IIt’s the first one that jumped out at me when I did my first full album listen. And I haven’t stopped listening since. The chorus is so syncopated. Stormzy is sick on this track, I love his voice so much. And it just feels like the two of them really play off each other nicely and probably had a blast making this song.

Also, Ed flexing “Grossed half a billi on the Divide tour/No I’m not kidding what would I lie for” is BDE and I’m personally really here for it.

This song is a banger and you should dance in your kitchen to it while baking pastries. FIve stars for you, Big Mike and Teddy.

(Dear God please let Stormzy guest live in Ipswich)

Track 5. Best Part of Me feat. YEBBA ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: it’s not a lyric but that part when Ed & YEBBA are harmonizing perfectly in the whoooaaAAaaaA

Thoughts/Reflection: I love the sound on this song! His voice is so raw and tender here. It reminds me of Plus era, but grown up. I think it may be how delicately he approaches the syllables in his verse and the chorus. YEBBA’s tone is super rich and lovely, and they sound great together.

I’m taking a “star” off here because I don’t love the lyrics. I get that he’s being vulnerable and showing insecurities in verse 1, but then YEBBA follows that up with lamenting about misplacing things and being late for the train? It doesn’t seem to match up with admitting physical/bodily insecurities. Also, it could just be that I hate that Ed thinks of himself this way.

DUDE IS HOT AF

Track 6. I Don’t Care feat. Justin Bieber ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: I don’t like nobody but you/I hate everyone here

Thoughts/Reflection: Oh god. When did this song come out? I’m trying to think back to my first impressions of it, LOL. It’s bright and poppy and of course it went and stayed #1 all summer (thus far). I remember thinking it was so cool that the melody is super mainstream and upbeat, but the underlying theme is around social anxiety. “Crippled with anxiety/But I’m told I’m where I’m sposed to be”

I mostly skip this one now that the full album is out, but I think I listened to it for a full 48 hours on repeat when it first dropped. Bieber is problematic and shit, and honestly I don’t think he adds much to the song. I really like Ed’s acoustic version where he does the whole thing solo.

The bridge slaps. Literally. I love that clapping bit behind it. I wish that Ed hadn’t fucked up the lyrics to the bridge in the acoustic version lolololol

Four stars, will bop along for many moons to come

Track 7. Antisocial feat. Travis Scott ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So antisocial but I don’t care/Don’t give a damn I’m gonna smoke here/Got a bottle in my hand bring more tho

Thoughts/Reflection: DID YOU SEE HIM GUEST AT TRAVIS’ SHOW LAST NIGHT? This song was already one of my faves but holy shit. In interviews, Ed talks a lot about feeling awkward on stage without a guitar - but it didn’t look like that last night. He was bouncy as all hell, sounded great, looked great. Looked like he was loving the crowd’s energy too.

And the music video? That deserves a post all on it’s own.

This track is pretty short but it’s packed with good stuff. Ed’s intro is really strong here, the chorus is interesting despite the repetition. I physically can’t help but groove along to this tune. I’m sorry. I have no say in the matter

Track 8. Remember the Name feat. Eminem, 50 Cent ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: 20 years old is when I came in the game/And now it's eight years on and you remember the name/And if you thought I was good, well, then I'm better today

Thoughts/Reflection: YES. YES. YES. The song intros with a reference to Ipswich, bitch. I love how Ed makes those connections back to his upbringing.

It’s a little unreal that these three iconic voices/styles can flow so well on a song and still sound so balanced.

I’ve got this one on repeat too. I’m determined to learn all of the words damnit!!

Five stars for a tune that I would love to see performed live someday.

Track 9. Feels feat. Young Thug, J Hus ★★★

Favorite Lyric: See you wigglin’, jigglin/If I have a bite will it taste like cinnamon?

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is fine. I like the feature verses. The song just doesn’t stick out that much for me.

Track 10. Put It All on Me feat. Ella Mai ★★★

Favorite Lyric: I try to be strong but I got demons/So can I lean on you?/I need a strong heart and a soft touch

Thoughts/Reflection: Falsetto. Falsetto everywhere. I love that! Ella Mai’s voice is so rich. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot more to say on this one. It’s not a song I’m playing on repeat, but I don’t skip it either.

Track 11. Nothing On You feat. Paulo Londra, Dave ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You and I/Whisky on ice/Maybe later we can turn down all the lights

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is SEXY and cool…. ‘smoke clouds and the scent of perfume’.... the imagery. Man. More falsetto here. Also, please go look up the translation of Paulo Londra’s verse. Thanks. I’m sweating. Is it hot in here? This album is *sexual*

ALSO THE ‘BRRRP’ AFTER “they keep ringing my phone” bahahahahah

Track 12. I Don’t Want Your Money feat. H.E.R. ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I need you here for the good times and the bad times/Yeah the pullin’ out my hair gettin’ mad times/Not just the when I’m in your bed on my back times

Thoughts/Reflection: THIS IS SUCH A GODDAMN TUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love this song so much. 10/10 jamming out to this in the car at every opportunity. Finger snappin’ cool r&b vibe. I love the super quick tempo (but not quite rap?) in Ed’s verses. And I always appreciate the little double-meaning-references in Ed’s songs - like ‘diamonds, silver or gold’ means $$$ of course, but also just success in terms of album sales performance.

TBH when I saw the title on Ed’s tracklist reveal, I totally thought this would be a slow mushy love song about how Ed’s lucky to have found someone who wasn’t into him for his money. This was a pleasant surprise!! I love that it’s a little angsty.

Five STARS bitch I love this song and y’all are sleeping on it

Track 13. 1000 Nights feat. Meek Mill, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Birds eye view/Pay my dues/For a two-mile queue

Thoughts/Reflection: i been ON for a thousAND NIGHTSSSSS NEW YORK TO LONDONNN DIFFERENT CITY EVERY DAYAYYY

1000 Nights: a flexy bop and I love it

This song is about the Divide tour which has been going for approximately 572 years. Not that I’m complaining.

But it’s cool (how many times have I said ‘cool’ in this post? don’t answer that). Ed loves touring and that comes out in this song. And Meek’s verse is so fun to rap along to!

Four stars.

Track 14. Way To Break My Heart feat. Skrillex ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I can’t stop thinkin’ bout her/And her lips on mine, so soft/Feelings I don’t know the name of

Thoughts/Reflection: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

This song is NOSTALGIC and I simply adore it. It has that same… “cozy” feel that Beautiful People does. Which is strange, considering it’s a song about heartbreak. But it’s just so. Soft. And warm.

We’re back to super soft placement of words and such pure tone.

It’s hauntingly beautiful. And yet uptempo! Bless, Skrillex. I especially love the drums that come in during the chorus, after “you’re still gone, and i’ll say”

PS, the soft sound of mouth smacking at :13. Use headphones.

Some of my favorite Ed songs are ones about heartbreak, and I appreciate that he included one here. About an imaginary heartbreak 👀

Take another five stars from me, bud

- Track 15. BLOW feat. Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Hot damn/Pop it like a pistol mama/You got me down on my knees/Baby please?

Thoughts/Reflection: *laughing nervously*

Again, definitely not what I expected out of this track when the titles were all revealed. I LOVED release day on this one. The world collectively lost their shit. I need nothing more in this world than to see this song performed live, especially with a full band and Ed on an electric guitar.

I’m still not over this loud, full, energetic song full of men bellowing about wanting to, well, fuck.

Bye

(five stars from me and also my 62 year old coworker Jan)

:::OVERALL:::

This album is SO GOOD MATE and I already cannot wait until the next collabs project! Ed blessed us with 15 amazing tracks to tide us over until Subtract comes out. They’re so different from his normal album stuff and I really love to see him try new sounds and get to create/collaborate with artists he admires so much.

it also has me real hot and bothered lmao

Thanks for coming to my tEd talk.

#ed sheeran #no 6 collaborations project #album review #surprise bitches i love every song #what did you think would happen

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archer3-13 · 4 years

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GUNDAM SEED DESTINY EPISODE 3: ATHRUN ZALA IS BAD AT DRESS UP

idk man, im kinda shocked. another episode thats actually pretty neat. i feel like im in the twilight zone because these first few episodes are honestly, in my opinion, better then the original seeds initial episodes.

its a matter of pacing honestly, well seeds first few episodes felt dragged out and artificially lengthened for no real purpose destiny gets going alot faster and with a lot more purpose/gas in the tank. the colony gets fucked up, gundams are stolen, and a chase is on only with the subversion of being with the pursuers rather then the pursued and the looming threat of full blown war if this isnt clamped down quickly enough.

granted this does come at a bit of a cost towards character building as stated previously, but considering its only the first few episodes i can forgive that. for now. plus what character i have seen i... honestly really like. mostly from the minervas crew mind. the bridge captain i dont remember the name of, but she reminds me a lot of natalie from the archangel who was definitely my fave of the officers because she had her shit together and was generally really awesome, even during the shit show that was seeds second half.

the background crew members have their little quirks that makes them oddly endearing, including that one random black suited officer who seems to be captain ladys number 2. lunamarie looks like she wants to kick some ass as well which is always a plus in my book.

shinn continues to somehow endear himself to me. part of that is the kamille aspect of barely contained rage and fury towards the world, but i like that well he doesnt immediately flip out on seeing cagalli and even tries to restrain himself, his outburst only comes when cagalli starts talking about orbs idealistic neutrality which shinn has personal experience with and the problems of said neutrality. he aint just angry at orb as a nation, hes angry at the hypocrisy baked into orbs ideals and practices, hence why he calls cagallis words sugar coating/bullshit.

for some clarification before we go further, what is the hypocrisy baked into orb as a concept? because we have real world prescient for nations that remain stubbornly neutral in times of war. and if anything orb is simply an extension of the total neutrality pacifism of the peacecrafts of gundam wing and gundams general give peace a chance moralizing. what makes seeds orb so much worse? simple, their condescending liars. say what you will about the peacecraft philosophy of total neutrality, and i have my quibbles, but they stuck by their stupid philosophy and even made it kinda poignant even if how they got there was stupid. Orb? they regularly build up military strength and can only get by on their neutrality stance because they have big enough guns to scare people off, not because they have good diplomats or the like. the peace that orb preaches is an isolationist one, a fuck you got mine approach, and well its an interesting contradiction and flaw to orb that could make for interesting story telling it never really gets seriously taken to court in seed. cagallis father even gets a heroic sacrifice, and instead of wondering if their isolationist approach to peace is wrong seed instead waxes about how orb building its military up at all was wrong. id give cagalli credit for atleast trying to reach out, but the only reason she was there at all was to frown disapprovingly at zaft for using orb tech and personnel/refugees to help build up military strength because its making the earth alliance rattle sabers towards orb (ignoring that the earth alliance was going to be rattling sabers anyways because none of the problems that started the first war have actually been addressed or dealt with, and if anything have probably gotten worse what with the disastrous end of the first war). and sure, thats a legit concern but that still feels like a fuck you got mine approach to things. so its very half hearted approval really.

ugh, getting out of that quagmire though we get some nice animation again, some repeated shots but they arent to obnoxious this episode and give the brief fight a nice flare. some neat tech show off such as the anchor, and some neat tactics like using the extra fuel cartridges to cover ‘bogey 1′s’ escape (zaft your still terrible at coming up with names). dont know why the specific part of the bridge can fall into a battle mode sub bridge when you could just build it there to begin with, but its neat. the blast impulse is really cool looking and hopefully looks good in action.

athrun, if you were going incognito you should have actually bothered to dress up beyond a pair of shades. still, maybe the next episode will let you explain yourself and start building on that character of yours.

holding my breath in vain really.

#gundam #gundam seed #gundam seed destiny #episode 3 #lets watch

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judithbutlersdealer · 5 years

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favorite books of 2018

yes I know we’re halfway through January but time isn’t real

goals: read 30 books

don’t read white men/read everyone but white men

at this point I naturally gravitate towards books that aren’t about or by white men so this wasn’t a big issue for me, plus I didn’t have any strict restrictions about Not Allowing Myself to read white men at all or anything, because if a book is good then it’s good and if an author is good then they’re good! I don’t want to willfully rob myself of a good experience, my main objective was just to broaden my horizons and focus overwhelmingly on people who aren’t white men so GOAL ACCOMPLISHED

data ripped from my Goodreads page because I think it’s fun:

69 books

20,879 pages

shortest book: letters to a young poet (52 pages)

longest books: the unabridged journals of sylvia plath (732 pages)

top 10

I Can’t Believe You Just Said That by Danny Wallace

this book was great. Danny Wallace basically meets a Rude Man and it upsets him so much he just starts investigating the history of rudeness. so fun and smart and tender and amazing. I read this book while continuously failing my driving test because the guy who was doing the test was a notorious sadist and I was really just Going Thru It on all fronts and this book was actually such a breath of fresh air right in that period of my life. like yes some people are very terrible and there’s nothing for you to do about that and some people are very good, and you will probably meet an equal mix of both in your life and that’s pretty fascinating, all things considered. great stuff written by a great man.

white man?: yes but Danny Wallace is one of my all-time favorite writers and also human beings so!!! I can’t believe I have less than a year until I go to the same school he went to and move to the city where he lives!!!! what the fuck (please Danny Wallace if you’re reading this don’t get a restraining order I’m actually a quite normal and stable person I swear)

How to Murder Your Life by Cat Marnell

are you an opium memoir, alcohol memoir, or amphetamine memoir type of person? personally I love them all but I used to be an amphetamine person and now I can’t be an amphetamine person so I’m an amphetamine memoir person. I wish people would take this book (and all books like this) more seriously. I took it seriously and it was painful. very fast read, very fun, very sad. can’t ever watch Catfish ever again.

white man?: no

The Idiot by Elif Batuman

WOWWWWWWW this book. this book right here! this fucking book. it ripped out my heart and then fed it to me again. what is it about seeing your own home described so carefully & tenderly & lovingly & with such surgical precision by someone who’s an outsider there? idk but it makes life worth living for me. I’m still 100% convinced that Elif Batuman wrote this book for me, specifically. you guys get to read it and that’s cool because it’s a great book but it was written for me. thank you Elif!!! so generous.

this book punched me in the mouth then kissed me on the forehead then baked me a cake then got me drunk.

white man?: no

Call Me by Your Name by André Aciman

I still haven’t seen the movie, and that should tell you how much this book hurt my heart. it didn’t even hurt it as much as it moved inside it & lived there & probably will for the rest of my life. I read it while trekking through the Alps and also so deeply in love I felt like it would never go away (and it didn’t) and this book just Got It. it didn’t get me as much as it got the concept of love & desire & knowing yourself vs knowing someone else vs knowing the two of you together. the whole book is one long, breathless sentence. there’s a quote I sometimes use on my blog to tag stuff and it’s “desire is always leaving the door open” and that’s what this book is about.

white man?: yes

Changing My Mind by Zadie Smith

this is the book I’ll always read when I want to remind myself how much smarter I can be.

white man?: no

Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

perfect book to read on a rocky beach on the Côte d'Azur in late August. equal parts glossy fun & thought-provoking. all in all I’m really thankful that Carrie Fisher found the strength to write as much as she did throughout her life, and I’m thankful that I found her books this year

white man?: no

The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry

perfect Christmas break-read. this book is so different from what I usually read (I pretty much never read historical fiction & whenever I try I just can’t get into it) but something just drew me to it & I needed something to read while sprawled out on the couch post-Christmas dinner, so I bought it on a whim and I’m so glad I did! the prose was great, the characterization fantastic, and the whole premise of the book was just cool as fuck tbh. unnerving & sad & tender & so so so lovely. the ending was strange and perfect just like the whole book. makes you Think and Feel.

white man?: no

Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

perfect plane-read. perfect read for the end of a week when you’ve visited your extended family back home & you've interacted with so many people & they’re all so complicated in their own way & it’s all been a lot and you just want someone to look inside your head and go, look, I understand, here, have some spiked lemonade. this book did exactly that! everything in it is relatable. it’s like you do all these small things throughout the day, and then it turns out that someone has noticed them all and they have been writing notes on them and one day they finally show you, but in a non-creepy way. very smart book, very entertaining, makes you ponder stuff that you maybe used to think was insignificant.

white man?: no

Reborn by Susan Sontag

reading this while feeling manic and hopped up on like five cups of green tea and black coffee was an Experience. smart. sad. hopeful. intimidating. mostly, what this book did was make me feel a lot less alone. like there was a woman out there whose brain was also going 200 mp/h all the time and she was also constantly in search of intellectual simulation and nothing was enough and she knew she had things to say but she had no one to say it to, and she was afraid of the future just as much as she fetishized it, and she didn’t always feel the right things in the right situations but she somehow managed. and in the end she found ways to fulfill herself and she found ways in which she could excel and she found work that was satisfying (and I say this with zero intent of romanticizing anything about Sontag’s life). so maybe there’s hope for all of us who are constantly bouncing off the walls and always feel like we’re living behind a glass wall.

white man?: no

Secondhand Time by Svetlana Alexievich

definitely the hardest book to read of 2018. it’s so scary to imagine not just how much work Svetlana Alexavitch put into this book, but also how much it must have hurt her, emotionally, and how many times she must have wanted to abandon it all and lie down and just take a really long nap, because it was all so painful (or maybe she’s a much better and more productive person than I am and she never had those thoughts) anyways this was 100% a book where I was like, I hate all of this but I need to know these things so I’ll push through. everything my parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles have ever told me was in this book, except it was all jammed up on steroids. but I know I need to learn about and understand their history better, even if it’s super painful, especially because it’s super painful! and especially because it’s not my history. I’m so glad this book won the Nobel Prize & I’ll never listen to anyone who thinks otherwise.

white man?: no

comments:

I’m satisfied with myself, I read more than twice the amount I originally set out to read, I read a wide variety of genres and subjects, I read a lot of books I liked, I read a lot of books that have been sitting on my TBR for a very long time, I didn’t read too many white men!!! I originally made it my goal to read 30 books because I was balls deep in a horrible depressive episode in late 2017/early 2018 and I just fully couldn’t even read a chapter of anything without getting a panic attack, so 30 books was an ambitious but still achievable goal. it’s nothing compared to how much I read when I’m doing better, but I was really struggling back then and frankly I wasn’t even sure I’d accomplish this much, so I’m very happy with my progress. I also pushed myself to read books that were difficult to read for different reasons and powered through many of them, which I’m also proud of. the second half of 2019 is going to be insane, but I still want to set myself the goal of reading 40 books, which I think I can realistically accomplish in the first half of the year, if things really do get so crazy hectic that I won’t have the time to read AT ALL later in the year, which it hopefully won’t. but I think 40 is a nice and realistic goal. we’ll see!!!

ultimately, this was the year I explicitly decided that I wanted to be a well-read person, that reading a lot was an important priority in my life, and it’s important to me that I push myself to continue to read a lot, because 1) it makes me a better person and 2) it makes me happy. so deciding to challenge myself to read as much as possible and actually set myself reading goals and challenges and then invest time and energy in accomplishing them has been an important consequence of this year’s reading challenge and it’s definitely something that’s going to affect how I read in the future. OKAY NERD EPISODE OVER BYE

(big thanks to Muffy @whitegirlblog for the inspiration 🤓)

#nerd alert nerd alert nerd alert nerd alert #BETTER LATE THAN PREGNANT AM I RIGHT LADIES

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whetstonefires · 6 years

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how do you think the batfam mightve progressed if jason never died?

Whaa, 4 asks at once? I’m sorry I still haven’t gotten back on the last one, I thought I was unstuck but guess what, I wrote myself into a pretty little corner by being all ‘I don’t care about what’s canon! i’m just gonna have fun!’ which is the correct approach except then you find out the thing you made up is incorrect and idk how to deal with that. being wrong. it’s a life skill i’m still working on.

So like, if the vote had gone the other way...it depends so much on the writing and editing teams, and so little on real causality, it’s hard to frame a picture?

Jason was created as an alternative to aging Dick down and taking him out of the Titans; his new character origin after the Crisis on Infinite Earths barely got out of its shakedown tour before they killed him off. We know who he was enough to spot the major character derailments, but who he might have been? It’s hard to say.

If he’d made it through the vote, the noisy fans would still have hated him, and so would the man writing his comics. I doubt Starlin would ever have convinced DC to do the HIV plotline with Robin like he reportedly tried, but I feel like Something Bad remained likely.

The 90s are known for their grimdarkness for a reason, and Jason just missed living through them. I feel like his odds of going villain were pretty high anyway, not because of him but because of the constant need for drama fuel. I mean, Alfred had a villain phase, in the 60s.

Babs became Oracle almost simultaneous with the Robin trade-off, debuted the same month Jason died (January ‘89), so that still would have happened. Tim’s influence on her was very slight.

Without Tim, there would have been no need for Steph, since she was created partly as a love interest but more importantly as a foil, and a way of getting more of that high-energy feeling traditionally associated with Robin back into the story even though so many of the fans loathed it and refused to have it in their lead.

(Not that Tim didn’t have a lot of it anyway, but it wasn’t his core feel the way it had been for Dick and Jason. Possibly of note, the ‘87 Killing Joke and ‘89 Batman movie also marked a rise in the use of Joker as Batman’s main dramatic foil rather than Robin, which coupled with the Bronze Age in general really shaped Tim’s character direction. It’s hard to say what caused what, with these trends.)

They might have introduced a girl anyway, to replace Babs. Maybe even a version of Cass. Shiva stated under interrogation during ADitF that she had no child, but in comics terms that half-guaranteed she’d get one eventually, because the concept was now out there.

I doubt Jason would have gotten his own series in the 90s, considering his screaming hatedom and the fact that it took three extremely successful mini-series to get Tim a regular title, but if DC had managed to repackage his character into something that the 90s liked and he had made a go of it, he’d probably have acquired a completely different supporting cast. He might well have continued his pattern of acquiring moms. Maybe even Talia. The whole Sheila thing would have been a half-forgotten backstory subplot by like ‘94 probably.

It occurs to me after typing all of this that you might want to hear my ideas about what in-universe causality might logically have led to, lmao. Let’s see.

Jason’s adolescence was hitting a rocky stage that I doubt this betrayal and near-death experience and technical bereavement would have ended, though it would probably have hit harder than his last few near-death experiences even assuming another improbable complete recovery.

If we up the realism dial a little, he might be forced into retirement by the severity of his wounds. He’d still have to hash out his trust issues with Bruce, probably more than ever. Being a shit communicator was not yet a key part of Bruce’s personality; they might have sorted things out.

Jason would not have dropped out of college. If he’s retired, he goes into a prestigious but helping-centered field with an understanding that he is now the son Bruce trusts to step up to keep WE on the straight and narrow after he dies; inheritance of voting shares may be structured around this expectation.

(Dick experiences that really complicated hypocritical jealousy where you specifically rejected a thing, but it spent so long being marked yours that you feel robbed anyway when someone else gets it. Not a lot of it in the disability scenario, because there’s a distinct vibe of consolation prize there, but otherwise.)

Babs would still have been Oracle. It would have been a less fraught launch, though.

Dick might not have heard about the Ethiopia thing at all, if Jason made a full recovery, considering how little communication was passing between him and Bruce at that point. Dick’s level of Batcomputer access only stated Jason as ‘location unknown’ when he was dead, so.

He and Jason got along fine, regardless of retcons since then, but he was under a lot of stress from a lot of sources, and the feeling that he couldn’t go home even when he really needed to, because he’d been replaced, was very present. That might well have blown up at some point.

I tend to think of Bruce as having changed pretty dramatically as a result of Jason’s death, disregarding a lot of retcons, but I mean, 1987 Bruce already failed to notice Dick having a mental breakdown right in front of him and put him off in favor of hero work with Jason on Dick’s birthday, he just did it cheerfully and with fairly courteous wording. There was a trend in the faildad direction starting already.

There was a lot of relationship stuff in need of fixing and in some ways Jason’s presence made that as hard for Dick with Bruce as Damian’s later did for Tim, even though there was a lot less drama and intentional emotional violence and attempted murder involved. So. That could have gone a lot of ways. Realistically, even without Tim trying to play peacemaker, Dick always gets dragged back into Bruce’s orbit, though. That’s narrative causality at work, but also psychology.

In-universe, Tim can be assumed to have already existed before Wolfman invented him. He’s mostly away at boarding school, but he’s nosy and well-intentioned and he Knows. If Jason ran away more comprehensively than the Great Mom Tour, he might approach him with an argument for why Batman needed Robin and he should go home. Or there would eventually have been a case where he knew something they didn’t and attempted to subtly pass information and got noticed.

Or Oracle’s expanding field of awareness would have eventually noticed him and his zoom-lens one summer evening while his parents were in Haiti getting dead. Idk.

He’d probably have gotten mixed up in Bat-things eventually, and if it wasn’t before the Haiti thing there’s no way Batman would have been invested enough in this random disappearance to be there in time to help, so he’d have been completely orphaned at 13. Bruce taking him in is reasonably likely, since he wasn’t exactly in a position to create himself a fake uncle at the time. On the other hand, he might have gone into foster care. His parent’s company still would have crashed without them, so he wouldn’t have inherited much, but he’d have been better off than most kids in the system because he’d have some assets.

Steph is even more guaranteed to hit the vigilante scene. Bruce would be a lot friendlier to her without Jason death issues for her to trigger, though that doesn’t mean he’d actually be friendly, and Jason would like her, and possibly communicate more effectively than Tim did about how she could not die, or possibly they’d have egged each other on into steadily more unwise behavior.

On the other hand, depending on where Jason’s character development went after surviving Ethiopia, he might at 17 find 15-year-old Steph indescribably annoying precisely because they have so much in common, and lash out at her as a proxy for his younger self, and be kind of awful.

Cataclysm breaks causality to even acknowledge anymore because they rushed on from it like massive chumps, but Jason would have been a good Robin to have for it. He’d have been pretty tall by then, and he’s got the mental tools for surviving in an unfriendly urban environment where money is useless. I think he and Cass would have gotten on well, they have compatible personalities. The only major issue I can see is if Bruce or Babs got really positive about her and triggered some kind of jealousy or possessiveness issue.

We don’t really have any specific data at all from before Jason died about how he would cope with a rival for something he felt entitled to but insecure about--he deferred very nicely to Dick as his elder, but Dick wasn’t actually a threat to anything Jason valued. Assuming later canon is applicable, jealousy would be a definite issue with any additional family members, though I assume without the risk of homicide.

Okay here is an after-midnight hour of my half-baked opinions. You asked for it! ;DDD

#ask #answer #jason todd #batfam #dc comics #superheroes #hoc est meum #my dumb opinions #kuppatan

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mellowsobri · 6 years

Text

Spending A Winter/Snowy Day With Your Boyfriend Draco Malfoy Would Include...

some stuffs to get started

thats a long ass title

maybe Draco is a lil OOC? idk this is what i personally see him doing in a relationship

masterlist

( house specific under the cut )

g r y f f i n d o r

- you reckless brave little shit, you know what you did?

- you jumped into a lake when it was 15°F (-9°C for y'all non americans) that’s what.

- all because Blaise said you wouldn’t.

- “(Name), come on! There’s no way you’ll do it!”

- “Don’t egg them on, Zambini, you know damn well―”

- *SPLASH*

- you fucking did it.

- and when you rose to the water, you couldn’t right well move all that much, but you still had the biggest smirk on your face.

- shivering, you said, “I won’t do what now, Zambini?”

- Blaise was laughing even when Draco pushed him into the snow.

- Draco helped you out of the lake while wrapping his jacket around you, yet you just smirked at Blaise with all you had.

- so Draco spends the day in the the Gryffindor dorms feeding you soup and telling you how stupid you were

- you agreed with him, but you didn’t regret it.

- in fact, you were pretty proud of yourself.

- at first you denied that you needed help―

- but eventually you were just kind of like

- “lol yeah it was a bit colder than i thought it would be”

- “(Name) there were ice chunks floating in the water!”

- “oh yeah lol”

- even though you were one of those people who pushed their cold feet up against their cuddle partner’s legs, he still cuddled you while you shivered there.

- he was def the big spoon, but thats because of his broad frame

- the golden trio walks in on you two

- you’re asleep, Draco is awake.

- “What the bloody hell are you―!”

- “Shut your mouth, Weasley! They’re asleep.”

- he glared at them until they left because you were stirring due to the noise.

s l y t h e r i n

- Hogsmeade it was.

- he asked you all fancily ‘n shit, showing up to your dorm and asking you on an official date.

- you teased him a bit and said no, to which he replied with stutters and sad eyes that you couldn’t help feel guilty for.

- “I’m kidding, babe. Of course I’ll go to Hogsmeade with you.”

- he gets a lil embarrassed and says that you shouldn’t scare him like that.

- he treats you to sweets during the trip and you always feel obligated to pay him back, but he definitely won’t let you.

- Crabbe and Goyle followed you two around (well they followed Draco around for the most part) until you gave them money to go off and buy some food for themselves.

- “You know, I could’ve just told them to scram.”

- “I just wasted five bloody galleons on them!”

- he smiled at your reaction and offered to pay you back, but regardless of your irritation on the topic you wouldn’t let him give you the money.

- you both walk back to the castle with red faces (partly from the cold, partly from the soft kisses you were passing back and forth) as it starts to snow

- “Oh, Draco, we have to stay outside a bit longer! Please? Lets play in the snow!”

- he can’t resist the childish side of you that is rarely shown―

- so even though you were both at risk of frostbite, you both stayed in the snow for a few minutes longer.

- eventually some of his friends from the Slytherin house join the two of you in the snow.

- a snowball fight is formed.

- when you had first met Draco, he didn’t really understand the concept or the motives of a snowball fight.

- “So… You just pelt people with balls of snow? Well I do that to Potter anyways, so does that mean I have snowball fights with him?”

- “Draco… Usually, in snowball fights, everyone gets along with one another.”

- “Oh. Never mind, then.”

- the group breaks up into teams.

- Draco, Millicent, Crabbe, and Goyle versus you, Pansy, Blaise, and Pike.

- he tries to be playful and hold back… but you chuck a snowball as hard as you can at him, which splatters on his face.

- luckily the ball wasn’t packed hard with ice, rather soft snow, so he was only left with a freezing cold face and a shocked expression.

- you eventually take him to his bed and baby him because according to him you “gave his face frostbite”.

- “You’re such a baby, Malfoy.”

- “But you love me.”

- “True.”

r a v e n c l a w

- you and Draco enjoy to spend the cold day indoors.

- well, okay

- let me rephrase

- so this is basically how it went down:

- “(Name), do you fancy taking a stroll outside with me on this lovely day? The snow is gorgeous.”

- (he was trying to be romantic in the cheesiest way possible.)

- “Of course, Draco! I love taking strolls with you.”

- “Great! I’ll go get dress―”

- “But you know what I fancy even more?”

- he looked at you.

- “This book that you know I just borrowed.”

- he groaned and crouched next to you, spread out comfortably on a blue couch next to the fireplace.

- “I thought you finished that book yesterday!”

- “I finished one book yesterday. This is a new one. Did you know that ninety-nine percent of the Earth’s solar system is made up of the sun?”

- “What?”

- you couldn’t hold back a smirk whenever he sat next to you on the couch (ignoring your housemate’s stares) and attempted to occupy himself by reading your book along with you.

- “This isn’t even a book! It’s a bunch of useless mud-blood like facts about those weird balls of color in the sky.”

- “Watch your mouth, Malfoy.”

- you wouldn’t tell him this, but you thought it was a bit entertaining how regardless of his constant whining, he never left your side.

- in fact, he pampered you even though he was so called “mad” at you.

- he brought you hot chocolate, food, blankets, pillows, and even more books.

- “Draco, if you’re so bored, why don’t you go outside with Blaise and do something?”

- “Because I’m hoping to guilt trip you into ditching your book.”

- that was a lie.

- truthfully he just wanted to be around you.

- the guilt trip did work though, as after half an hour you marked your place in your book and got dressed to go outside with him.

- it was no comparison to your book, but you both spent a few hours walking in the beautiful scenery, enjoying each others company, and rolling up snowmen.

h u f f l e p u f f

- honestly to him every day with you is a day well spent, and every day without you is a day wasted.

- you were a bundle of surprises,

- so whenever you were shaking him awake at ten in the morning on a cold Saturday, he could only smile.

- you were already dressed, rushing him to get dressed as well.

- his dorm mates didn’t appreciate the sudden intruder on the weekend, but frankly you didn’t care.

- “Draco, tell your mate to shut up!”

- he was about to retort before you beat him to it.

- “I dare you to say that to my face, you pussy fruitcake.”

- you told him with a smile that completely contradicted your icy glare just a few seconds ago that you’d meet him by the kitchens.

- whenever he met you he didn’t even have time to get a single word in before you were dragging him out into the kitchen.

- “Love, what has you in such a rush?”

- “Just wait! I have a surprise for you!”

- he found that the kitchen was completely empty of any people or house elves.

- “Where is everyone…?”

- “Oh, well… I ‘reserved’ the entire kitchen for a bit so we could have some fun!”

- and he wasn’t surprised at all.

- the Hufflepuff common room was directly by the kitchen after all, so it didn’t shock him that you knew your way around the place.

- the two of you spent about five hours simply goofing around and baking cookies, gingerbread houses, and peppermint bark.

- the house elves even brought you two utensils whenever you needed something specific.

- he wasn’t used to cooking the traditional way or even going out of his way to thank a house elf, so some of the processes were a bit new to him.

- you made fun of him whenever he attempted to pour a cup of flour out all at once, causing it to cloud up and poof all over his face and black attire.

- “How could you not know that that would happen? Have you ever even used flour?”

- “S-Shush! My dorm isn’t by the kitchen like yours!”

- “It’s common sense, Draco!”

- you both had fun baking Christmas themed cookies, even if they turned out like utter shit thanks to someone (Draco) not understanding the basics of baking.

#im back #oof #harry potter #harry potter imagines #headcanons #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #gryffindor #slytherin #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #harry potter x reader #reader insert

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culturenosh · 7 years

Text

week of 10/23

heard glasshouse, jessie ware as a more radio-friendly turn from a critically beloved, occasionally experimental soul singer, i was primed to… not like this as much as i do. her previous record, tough love, attempted to bridge this sound and that of her first album, devotion; by committing entirely to a full-blooded soul aesthetic, rather than trying to marry it with cloudy, hazy electronic production, this album ends up working much better. it has a clarity and a warmth to it that makes even the most trite numbers (like the single “alone”) feel worthwhile, and it’s a great record to welcome the fall. half-light, rostam another good fall record. rostam’s classical mania, or manic classicism, is a lot to take over a 15-track album without other elements to really counter it (i.e. ezra koenig’s genial presence, discovery’s use of pop tropes, charli xcx or carly rae’s songwriting prowess, etc), but the ornate melodies and smart use of space make for plenty of engaging moments. i’m not sure how i feel about his voice, since a lot of these productions overpower him, but in and of itself his singing has a lovely, soft texture. it’s a beautiful soundscape, if nothing else. 22, hyukoh i kind of cringe at how this band gets described as ‘indie,’ if only because they’re like… not (they’re on a major label, they’re extremely successful). i think there’s a narrative that they’re radically different from the rest of the k-pop crowd, and while i don’t know enough about south korea’s musical culture to make the call, that narrative makes my hackles stand up pretty much every time it comes across. that said, the music is good. oh hyuk has a nice, expressive voice and he uses it well; i like the shoegaze touches across the ep, which i wasn’t expecting after having listened to “comes and goes.” it’s a little sensitive-man-rock and it’s extremely fashionable, but it’s done well and with feeling, and they can definitely write a hook. rina, rina sawayama i’m still not convinced by her aesthetic/sonic combination, even though it should be right up my alley. in spots, it works - i like how ‘ordinary superstar’ links the airbrushed, too-pretty-for-you popstar sphere of the early 2000s with social media culture without beating you over the head with it, and presenting it as something attainable and everyday. the temptation of the thing, perhaps. her attempts at critique, by contrast, always feel shallow and half-baked, even though the hooks are good. it’s strange to me that she’s getting such buzz off of the same concepts pc music was getting slammed for two years ago. (not to say that they didn’t deserve it then, but rather that these ideas are still not well-developed enough or explored in any depth.) the bit in ‘cyber stockholm syndrome’ where she talks about being pretty but sad is revealing; even as she’s exploring modern technological depression, she’s still using it as an aesthetic first, so it doesn’t connect. maybe that’s the point, but i feel like i’m being laughed at when i listen. (i suspect i may turn around on this - i saw her i-d feature and liked her personality, so i might be reading her music wrong. i like the sonic references she’s building from. her best work probably lies ahead of her.) plunge, fever ray i really dug the first fever ray album, much moreso than i ever connected with the knife’s material. it’s interesting that this record is clearly the same artist and outwardly the same sound but the architecture is very different. it’s not as ambient or atmospheric as the first, and there’s some electroclash influences that kind of surprised me but make total sense. i like this new sense of definition - it feels like there’s a real sense of purpose for this record. the songs haven’t fully revealed themselves to me yet, but i like the bangers (‘to the moon and back,’ ‘this country,’ ‘idk about you’) so i think the rest will come with time. i love the sexuality of it.

seen battle royale (dir. kinji fukasaku, 2000) i didn’t expect this movie to be so shocking. maybe because hunger games ripped it off, i felt like i knew what i was going to see. what makes it so good is where it differs - hunger games is really invested in the dystopia, the surrounding pageantry, and in one perspective, fitting the concept into more acceptable and less transgressive tropes. battle royale only gives a few details, gives every character an arc, and never explains anything. the juxtaposition of the ordinary student dynamics/teen drama tropes and the violence makes it feel both more grounded and more surreal, and gives the movie a lot of thematic material to work with. the lighthouse scene could have been a movie or play unto itself, for instance. the pace that this creates is breathtaking. it’s almost too much, but it’s brilliant and horrifying.

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a-salty-frenchfry · 7 years

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all da questions fam

I hate you

Ask me things

1. What’s your middle name? Elyce

2. What are you listening to right now? Hikaru Nara by Goose House (from Your Lie in April)

3. What was the last thing you ate? McDonalds

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My aunt

5. Do you drink? Nah. I will when I got to Paris this Summer though hehe

6. Do you smoke? Hell no

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Hair

8. What is your hair color? Black/light brown at the ends

9. What is your eye color? Brown

10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nada

11. Dogs or cats? Cat

12. What’s your favorite animal? I guess cat or bunny

13. What’s your favorite television show? The Next Food Network Star or any of the Seasonal Baking Championships

14. What’s your favorite movie? Either Frozen or Moana

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? Taylor swift and Alizée

16. How old are you? 18

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? Yeeee

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Straight

19. What’s your favorite color? Pink or mint green

20. What was your most embarrassing moment?

This is the only one I can think of right now

In February, when I was at a French Conversation Hour, someone kept calling me and everyone is like “you should answer it” (I NEVER answer the phone if I don’t know the number by the way). So by the 4th call, I answered it, put it on speaker, said “bonjour”, and started speaking in French and acting like I didn’t speak any English (just in case it was a scam or something). After a few moments of worry and confusion she says “I have a package from Amazon…is this [my name]?” Then I start apologizing like crazy, everyone bursts out laughing, then I go to meet her at the Student Center to pick up my package and apologize some more (because mail services were closed and I ordered one day delivery). I explained that I was in a French club and never answer unknown numbers. I hope I gave her a fun story to tell her coworkers lol

TL;DR I answered an unknown number speaking in French in case it was a scam, turns out it was an Amazon employee with my package and I made her worried that I didn’t speak English

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Not really. Probably still me, but without ADHD because it sucks and I hate it

22. What were you like when you were a kid? Hyper and lazy

23. What would your dream house be like?

Cozy one or two-story home with a lawn and nice furniture. The dream would be in the kitchen though since I love baking: double oven with convection, beautiful sink w/motion sensor faucet, and stainless steel two-door fridge w/freezer and a blast chiller, professional Kitchen Aid stand mixer, you get the gist. Basically a Food Network competition style kitchen 😍

24. What last made you laugh? SB2 reaction to Sailor Moon Crystal videos.

25. What is your favorite word? Fuck

26. What is your least favorite word? Almost anything that is associated with nsfw content

27. What turns you on? Boys who are too pure for this world (my current crush went on a 7-month international trip to do charity work in third-world countries 😭❤️ )

28. What turns you off? Conservatives (doesn’t mean I won’t like you at all. It just means I won’t like you romantically, which I’m assuming is what this question is asking)

29. What is your star sign? Cancer

30. What are your favorite books? The Mortal Instruments series

31. Do you have any siblings? Younger little shit brother

32. Do you like to dance? Alone

33. What is your definition of cheating? Acting on romantic/sexual feelings for anyone other than current significant other

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No

35. Do you regret anything? Lots

36. Do you have any phobias? Arachnophobia and astraphobia

37. Ever broken any bones? No

38. Ever come close to death? More than once. Peanut allergies are a bitch 🙃

39. What is your religion, if any? Roman Catholic, but very loosely

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? No

41. Are looks important in a relationship? Meh. While looks are usually what attracts and starts a relationship, in the long run, you love the person for their soul, not just a pretty face

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? Mom

43. What is your favorite season? Spring

44. Do you have any tattoos? No

45. Do you have any piercings? Ears

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 2 bfs

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Multiple

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Don’t really have one, but I guess Zac Efron?

49. Are you a virgin? Yes

50. Do you get jealous easily? Only with close friends

51. What is your favorite type of food? Italian

52. Do you ever want to get married? Yes

53. Who was your first kiss with? I’m #foreveralone fam

54. Have you ever been cheated on? No

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? A walk. Just walking around a park, or an amusement park, or maybe a festival; talking, holding hands, perhaps buying a snack/souvenir from a street vendor; taking in the scenery and enjoying each other’s company.

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Ambivert

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? Yes and no. The universe is way too fucking big to be certain

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? Musical

59. What is your saddest memory? When my parents broke the news that my grandma died

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. See 41. You can’t “love” someone for who they are before you even meet them. Otherwise it’s lust at first sight.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Sure

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? The lower half of my hair was dyed blue for about 5 months. Then I dyed to black again because Prom and Graduation

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? Not that I know of

64. Would you go against your moral code for money? Not MY moral code.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? 1) I know 3 languages. 2) I want to go to culinary school in Paris. 3) I used to do horseback riding

66. Who are you jealous of? Anyone @sheeptansplayground calls her best friend who isn’t me lmao

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? No Yeah, like 3

68. How long was your longest relationship? 7 months

69. Is the glass half empty or half full? There’s liquid in it

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Do something romantic that’s tied with Filipino culture (even saying something like “I love you” in Tagalog is good enough for me. Lame I know, but I have low standards lmao)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? @sheeptansplayground or so I thought

72. Are you in a relationship? No

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? N/A

74. Are you a bad person? I’m human. Good/bad person is an imaginary concept made up by society. It all depends on perspective.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? Lover

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Had family and a couple friends over

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “People push you to your limits and when you finally explode and fight back, they think you are the mean one”. I relate to this a lot. There’s only one person I’ve ever exploded on and have felt *true* hatred for, yet I’M the unreasonable one.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? Fall into a major depression and give up on everything

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? Reblogging this fucking post.

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? EAT and confess to my crush I love him

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?

When I was in elementary school, I had a dream where there was this “special” star in the sky, and it looked like something out of a children’s book (it had a smiley face with dimples and was pretty cute). But I was unimpressed by it, which apparently hurt its feelings because it frowned and then shot down like a shooting star. Then the cops came after me. After that, I became afraid of shooting stars for like 5 years.

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? Idk I’ve never had a “real” relationship

83. Who were you in a past life? A tiger Lol thanks BuzzFeed

84. What is your happiest childhood memory? Spending time with my grandma every Summer and Thanksgiving

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yep

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? Nope

87. If you were the president, what would you do? Fix the damn healthcare

88. What is your ideal career? Pastry chef, perhaps a well-known one on Food Network

89. What is your political affiliation? Democrat

90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal af

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? Depends on your definition of “perfection”

92. Do you like kissing in public? Maybe a quick peck on the cheek or lips

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Goodbye greed

94. Where would you like to live? Either current hometown or France

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation? Nice, France

96. Describe yourself in one word. Shy

97. Describe yourself in one sentence. For the most part I’m a Cinnamon Roll™, but push me over the edge and you’ll get a demon. (Connected to question 77)

#reply #ask me anything meme #sheeptansplayground #i thought you were my best friend #traitor

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