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heartfullofleeches · 2 years

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Yandere Male Naga x GN! Reader

3k words. Warning for light gore.

(An: Please don’t apologize for sending asks. You aren’t invading my inbox, I love each and every message I get no matter how many one person sends. Take care and I hope you enjoy it. )

Ever since you were young, you had a love for the slithery inhabitants of earth. Frogs to newts; the more you learned about reptiles and their amphibian family, the more fascinated you became. Now onto the later years of young adulthood, you were studying to become a herpetologist and live out childhood dreams. Unfortunately, outside of school there weren’t many people to talk to about your love of said animals and you had barely any friends outside that department on top of that. With very few choices of ways to make new ones, you opted for the easiest route of searching online.

You browsed various pet forums; most of your interactions being answering questions the curios folk had and commenting on pictures of cute pets. It was a nice way to past the time and you managed to make a couple acquaintances in the process. As much as you enjoyed each individually, none were quite like your longest chat partner.

With on a hike on a natural trail not far from your apartment, you spotted a snake slithering through a nearby creek. It was the beginning of the warmer months of the year, and at the point where they were starting to get more active. Keeping your distance, you snap a quick photo of it before continuing on you way. You honestly forgot about it, until you found it while scrolling through your camera roll the next day. You decide to post it online, just for the hell of it. A few replies thrown your way and you were content. You thought it’d even there – till you received a message in your inbox later that day.

“What a cute little guy. Is his friend as cute as he?~”

Another message comes your way the second you read the first.

“Ha, that was in poor taste of me. Please don’t block me.. I’ve seen you around this site and thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to send you a message.”

Though a bit of a flirt, you and the stranger got along quite well. You talked about reptiles and the like; most of your conversations ending on snakes, and your studies as well. Overtime, other aspects of life began to blend into your texts. Other interests, how living in your respective areas was, and just life in general. His name is Morgan, from what he claimed; your first real friend in a long while.

Eventually, you both work up the courage to exchange pictures of each other. It was slightly difficult to see his face clearly, but you could make out the general shadow and his lips quirked in a mischievous grin. “If you think I’m a fake I’ll gladly send more.” He joked. He had deep brown eyes, hints of yellow bordering like off gems in the darkness of his room. Must be some kind of filter – you concluded. You send one back after, met with instant praise.

“Ah, I knew you’d be stunning. You’re so cute I could just eat you up!”

Time continues further and you continue speaking. You give him your number; his changing ever so often, buy you never went a day without a response. One night, as you getting ready for bed; you received a frantic message from him.

“Y/n! Are you awake?”

“Yea, I’m still up. Is everything ok?”

“Something attacked one of my cameras just now, but I was able to get the footage from it. Check it out.”

As told, he sends you a clip from a surveillance camera. It was pointed downwards towards a grass covered trail; footage grayscale. Morgan told you he lived near a forest, but this was far beyond than that. It was closer to a jungle; vegetation covered every area and trees dominating the landscape. He put cameras throughout it to capture footage of the wildlife within, and the instances like the one now on your screen.

In the distance, the camera recorded the end of something slithering off the man-made path and into the trees; just barely catching its shadow. From the lack how far it was, it was hard to make anything out other than it was big. Just the corner of what you saw was nearly the width of a cow. You could vaguely detail a lighter shade of color on its underside, not much else to be seen.

Silence lingers as the footage remains still – then a crack. The tree holding camera topples over, somehow leaving it in tact and pointed at the sky. You hear the sound of something shuffling through the grass, a large shadow looming over view. It’s hard to tell what the thing is as its body coils around itself, you leaning in to try and determine what it is. It suddenly lungs at the camera, the last thing you see before it shuts off being what looks like a pair of fangs longer than any you’d ever seen.

“What… was that?.”

“I know! I’ve wanted to tell you about it for so long, but I feared you wouldn’t believe me.”

“There’s a legend in my town about a beast in the forest. Larger than any man or animal; ten times stronger than the toughest of either species. Some say it’s even a hybrid of both. I think this is proof it exists!”

You start to believe it’s a prank. “Are you sure?”

“Positive! I wouldn’t bother you with this if I didn’t have more proof to show.”

He sends his proof; all rather damming – or the work of someone who knew their way around scene design. A closer picture of trail the creature left showed just how massive it was; plowed through the earth like a bulldozer with a girth of around twelve yards. There were pieces of what looked like a snakes shedding shattered through the broken land, big enough for you to wrap yourself in twice over. The most chilling photo was that of the tree, a handprint wedged into the wood topped with thin claw marks. Upon a second look at the video, you swear the jaws holding the fangs seem too human like to be anything but. Hollow and cheeks stretched far beyond possible, but human nonetheless.

“This is crazy! Have you told anyone else about it?”

“I don’t trust a soul but you, my dear. Someone might alert the presses before its time. I need more proof if I want the world to believe me.”

“Is what you have already not enough?”

“The world is full of skeptics, Y/n. You can never have enough evidence! Plus someone might get better stuff than what I have if I wait. I plan on to taking a close up photo of it, but even I know it’s not wise to go alone.”

“Who will you go with?”

“That’s where you come in, love.”

“Me?.. What do you mean?”

“I want you to come! Think about it. You’ll be one of the first people to document a never before seen creature. That’s must mean something in your field. Regardless of that, the thought alone must be exciting, no?”

You think over his offer, unsure as to what you should say. He did have a point on both accounts. Before you can reply, he sends yet another message.

“Plus… we can finally meet in person. It’s rather embarrassing, but I’ve wanted that for a while now”

“Alright. Alright. I’ll help you.”

“Yay! I look forward to it, my little mouse.”

“Are you calling that because you plan to use me as bait?”

After discussing things further, you get the location of his town and make plans to meet A quiet place with few towns folk keen on speaking with you.. Unfortunately, Morgan is unable to meet on the night you get in, but he promises to see you soon. As apology, - and because you spoke of it before, he gives you directions to where you’d stay for your visit. An RV on the outskirts of town; key tucked under the welcome mat just for you. A gift from a relative moving out of state – as he told.

The interior was spacious; kept tidy and sectioned off between bedding and other activities. You knew Morgan had turned the van into a mini research lab, but you hasn’t expected all this much. Tables stacked with notebooks and books on animal behavior; a computer opened with various camera views of the forest beyond. A map was pinned to a board on the wall, thread connects to tacks spread across a makeshift drawing of the woods – detailing the creature’s travel patterns.

Setting your belongings aside, you suppose he wouldn’t mind if you looked through what he had down. You pick up one of the journals, getting comfortable on the bed before you read. Opening the book at random, you note that some pages had been torn from the spine.

“Day 1,

It’s my first night out here. The quietness of the forest is pretty relaxing. I tried asking around town to see of anyone could inform me about the stories more with no luck. I’ll head out first thing tomorrow.”

“Day 2,

No luck with my search. When I got back, I noticed tire tracks in the dirt. Not like the van had moved itself, but as if it were pushed to the side. There were strands of black hair by one of the tires. None of us have dark hair.”

“Day 13,

I finally saw it. At least its tail. From appearance, it seems to be a speckled king snake, but the species isn’t native to the area, nor are they that huge. If I had to guess, it was longer than the van.

“Day,

I found it’s cave. It was sleeping, so I was able to put a tracker on it, but it woke up. It saw me-"

You close the book, chills running through you. You understood the dangers of coming out here, but this was something else entirely. Who was this “us” he mentioned anyway? You place the book where it came from, focusing the rest of your energy on getting comfortable within the sheets. The trip so far had you pretty tired and you needed your rest. You send Morgan a final message before you shut your eyes - the distance sound of a photos chime unheard by your ears.

You’re awoken by a powerful force slamming against the side of the RV, rattling its walls with you along with it. Startled by the distance, you sit up, looking around for the source. The night still hung high in the sky; the shadow of the moon raining over the window. Upon second glance, the shadow is not that of a celestial being but of a indescribable form pressed against the glass. It drags thin nails along the pale, webbing between its fingers translucent from the light of the moon. You stare in silent terror, mind blank except for trying to process what you just witnessed. It eventually remembers it has a body; you rushing for the door – safety the last thought in your head.

The monster vanished as quickly as it arrived, leaving you dumbfounded in the doorway. The cold air slaps you in the face, waking you from your trance the creature had over you. You sit at the steps, body trembling from the encounter. Against the voice in your head's demands, you stay put. As terrified as you were, you just had to know more, but you’d have to wait.

You climb back in bed, unable to sleep for the rest of the night. By the time morning had crept in, you still hadn’t gotten a response from Morgan. You were starting to get antsy. Leaving without him was the only thing you didn’t want to do, but your patience was run thin. The mystery of the unknown had you completely entangled; a grip that refused to let go.

By the time noon rolled around, you finally gave in and decided to go without him. You carefully unlinked the map from the wall, tracing the thread's lines with a pen. As you gathered things for the journey, oddities began appearing. Some of the journals were written in a different handwriting. Clothes of various sizes tucked in corners. Had your brain not been hopped up on adrenaline, you would have taken the clears signs of warning and ran. Instead, you ignore and hike towards the groove of trees.

The trees block out the sun in an instance, the holes of which it’s ray poke through just barely enough for you to see. Map in hand, you navigate through the thick forest with relative easy. According to the map; marked with bold marker, the beast’s home was directly in the heart of the woods – damn near a straight path from where you were. You come across the tree from in the video, trunk split clean in half. The ration part of your brain makes you dig your heels into the dirt, but the determined part keeps you going.

Time treks on, and so do you – eventually finding the cave where the beast lie. Any warmth in the air was snuffed; dragged in by the abyss of its entrance. Water dampened the earth below like a miniature moat, your foot falling almost ankle deep as you step by. You pull out a flashlight from the bag you had taken; light reflecting on the shine of the cave's walls. Your footsteps echo no matter how quietly you attempt to walk, dread hitting like a hammer with each step.

As you reach the end of the cave, you somehow almost miss the sleeping mass in the corner. Gigantic; wide – blackish-brown scales blending with background of the cave. Yellow scales mixed and hid under the darker ones; leaving it identifiable as a king snake as the journal had foretold. A snake known for its deadly constriction. From the way it was collided around itself, you couldn’t see its face and that was probably for the better. If it woke up now, it had the capabilities to swallow you whole if it didn’t crush you to death first.

You pull out your phone, snapping a few pictures of the creature while you could. The flashlight helps you get a clearer shot of it, but your phone was too small to catch its full size. You take a couple steps back for a better angle, tripping over an unseen force. It cracks under your heel, causing you to freeze. You had come very little debris in the cave, so you hadn’t bothered to check the further you went. You look down to see what it was, almost dropping your phone and light in the process.

A human skull rests at your feet; completely stripped of muscle and skin. Its broken jaw lies under your shoe, panic rising up your leg. Looking around the cave, there’s more remains littered about; most by or crushed by the snake’s tail. As you become more aware of your surroundings your other senses kick in; a faint coppery scent masked by the smell of murky water. You needed to get out of here. Fast. You turn your flashlight back on the snake, heart squeezing in your chest as you do so. It was moving.

It had been from the start.

Small, twitching movements that now delved into the unraveling of its body as it stirred. Its upper torso begins to rise, scales declining into human skin the further it rose on its spine. Yellow freckles lined its shoulders, skin ashened. Clawed fingers wipe gore from its mouth as it turns to face you; forked tongue clearing blood from it extended fangs. It’s other arm cradles a broken corpse, bites of flesh torn from its neck and limbs bent an unnatural way. Familiar eyes smile warmly as you, the body collapsing to the floor unharmoniously as it spreads its arms towards you. The irises were thinner now; piercing.

As if matters could get more terror inducing, it opens its mouth once more. Not to lash out at you, but it greet you with warmth; tongue fluent in human language.

“Y/n! What a surprise to see you, my love~ Had I known you were coming I would’ve cleaned up more.”

It laughs. A deep rumbling cackle that mocks the shocked look on your face. You can’t process it. You had seen the videos and pictures. You felt its presence last night. You had heard his voice before.

“M….morgan?”

His face melts into a soft expression. “Yes, my beloved? I know this must all be a shock to you, but I assure you I am he.”

He pulls out a phone, the device looking like a child’s tool in his hands.

“The internet is a fantastic place, don’t you agree? I’ve never gotten this much food so quickly in all my years! As wonderful as that is, never did I think that I’d find my mate there as well.”

You shiver as he licks his lips. “Mate?”

“Yes darling.” He’s on you before you even blink, wrapping his tail around you only to keep you still. It’s only when you struggle that his hold tightens; not enough to hurt, but to render you motionless. An act of tough love. His hands snake around your upper body, face pressing against your neck. The slender muscle of his tongue kisses your skin; a cavernous purr leaving his lips as he takes in your scent.

“As you may know, snakes don’t mate for life, but I tend to stick our from the crowd. I’ve longed for another to hold for ages, and you’ve been the only perfect candidate. Such an adorable passion you have for your field of work, and a cute face on top of that. Oh, your scent alone soothes me greatly, my precious mouse.”

Morgan nozzles your cheek, sapping your warmth against his rough skin. Now that he had you, he’d never let go. You manage to wiggle one arm free, attempting to distance yourself much to his disappointment.

“I’m… flattered, but there’s no way I can stay here. I have a life outside and there’s things I need to-"

He squeezes you to his chest, cutting off your sentence.

“Don’t worry about a thing, Y/n. I’ve done my research, I’ll take such good care of you you’ll never think of another again. I had that van fixed really well for you, did you not like it? Those researchers were so messy, but I made sure they did a good job before they expired.”

You gulp, not enjoying his choice of words. You’re forced to look up at him; persistence and obsession swirling in his eyes.

“Do you need more? I can get rid of someone in town and you can have a nice home – the whole town if you so wish. Anything for you, so long as you be a good mate and stay by my side.”

His fingers course up the end of your spine; voice dropping to a whisper. “I’ve even studied human pleasure, if intimacy is what you truly crave.”

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everything-is-as-it-was · 2 months

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Jems found in an old Phil video

So I watched "My mum is a lobster" because I'm going through all of his videos chronologically, right, and I was like- you know what? I'm going to scroll down the comments. There's over 2,000, which isn't as much as others so why the hell not?

And GUYS. The way I could literally see the internet changing from 2024 to 2008 was FASCINATING. Genuinely the coolest thing I've seen all week. The content of the comments was one thing: from people commenting about how young Phil is, how this was just under a year from when he met Dan, to people in 2016 going on about... whatever they were talking about in 2016 yk

But then when you get down to the bottom do you see the real good stuff. There's no replies, since Youtube was structured differently I guess, and a lot of the comments don't make sense I think because they were replying to other comments- but I digress.

The use of :D, lolz, the two carats (^^), the xD, the :S, all relics at this point tbh. Obv some people use them still but see their abundance!

See here again - allll the ellipses, much more than we usually see today, =D, ;[ - man ppl were way more creative back then huh

Just the way people spoke on the internet - obviosuly, again, I'm making generalizations. There are still people who speak like this, of course. But the "random xD" comments really hitting full force

Just laughing here at the last comment concerned about Phil's inbox being bombarded... if only they knew a couple years later lmao

@vampirechibiofreno wanted to be a surgeon mouse for Halloween in '09 I wonder if they ever did

I saw a lot more of people just sharing little inconsequential things about their lives here, too. Seems like in YT comments these days ppl are vying for the funniest comment, whereas people here didn't give af they just wanted Phil to know they had the same shirt

I can just imagine young Phil reading the first post and it motivating him, idk. Just the fact that back then people still said "wow, you're funny, keep it up!" Whereas if someone said that now we'd all be like "uh, we been knew? Where ya been?"

Just some more examples of comments with very '08 energy to them lmao they make me smile

And HERE are some Phil comments!

Again, I'm sure he's responding to people here but since YT has changed so much the original posts were jumbled around. It was so weird to see a comment of his with only one or two likes- felt like I found a rare penny or something lmao

Anywho SORRY for the long post! I just thought this was all absolutely fascinating :)

#dan and phil #dnp #dan howell #phil lester #amazingphil #dip and pip

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demonichikikomori · 2 years

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Snakes Whisper

Jamil Viper x Fem!Reader

Word Count (Ao3): 8.5k+

Word Count Tumblr: 4.8k+

Hellolololo!! It’s me!! Your local Devil!! ↜(╰ •ω<)╯ψ <3 This was a request from my beloved anon… I always had a thing for Jamil hypnotizing Reader, but also I frequent the DubCon tag pretty often... I'll be using this space for quick summaries as you prepare to read the story, that way you aren't going in totally blind. Also I've changed the title to match the name of his Unique Magic written in the JPN version... It has a certain appeal that I like...

SUMMARY:

You sent Grim away for a few days since you needed some good ol' fashion alone time! You see a very attractive looking photo of Jamil Viper and decide to add a like. But, almost as if you rubbed the lamp of legend, Jamil appeared like a genie in your inbox. He wants to come over. He appears on your door step and has something very important to tell you...

Tags: Jealousy/Hypnotism/Dub-Con

You laid in bed, scrolling mindlessly through your phone in the darkness of your dorm room. Grim had been sent off on a ‘Boys Trip’ with Ace and Deuce. That was just code for he was starting to get on your nerves and you couldn’t take it anymore. So, you got your favorite two dummies to watch him for a few days in Heartslabyul while you enjoyed some alone time. And with them owing you so many favors after saving their asses they really had no choice but to do as you asked. You made it through your MagiCam feed seeing Vil trash a shady makeup brand, a video of Lilia skateboarding extremely well for a man his age, Cater and Trey wrapping rubber bands around a large watermelon, all the way down to Kalim posing on his flying carpet with a charming grin. He was midair, white locks tousled by the wind as he winked at the camera. Most of the people in his comments were girls telling him how handsome he was. And then you noticed Jamil’s username at the very top of the comment section. In fact, his comment was pinned by Kalim.

Stop being so stupid and get down.

You couldn’t help but snort at the response and rolled your eyes. You could practically hear Jamil’s voice echoing in your brain from how often you heard him nag his childhood friend. You decided to like his comment and respond as well.

Be nice!There was a reason so many girls and even guys fawned over Kalim Al-Asim. Not just because of his bottomless wallet, but because he didn’t scowl all the time. Because he was fun and lovable to be around. Jamil was the polar opposite and had a stick up his ass over every small thing. “Maybe if he was more like Kalim…” You muttered and your eyes widened as you caught yourself. Jamil acting cheerful and friendly like Kalim? Scarabia would become a winter wonderland the day that happened.

You pondered a moment before curiosity struck you. What does Jamil’s MagiCam account even look like? You hesitated and gathered the courage to tap on Jamil’s username and glanced through a few of his public pictures. There weren’t many, but you feasted your eyes on the few there were. A lot of them were taken by Kalim or had been set by a timer. One of them was Jamil doing a handstand in a red tank top, his hardened stomach exposed with the shine of sweat as he gave a sharp toothed smile to the camera. A video of him showing how he braided his golden charms into his hair. Slim, charcoal gray eyes were watching the camera with such intensity you would’ve thought he was staring at you directly. A collection of photos that Kalim had taken of Jamil during basketball practice and during the game he had recently. His back faced away from the camera as he lifted his jersey to get air flowing through the garment, exposing his toned body and strong back again, more sweat causing his golden brown skin to shine. A photo of him shooting a three point shot during a game against the Royal Swords Academy, his long ponytail was pinned into a bun, and the one after was Ace jumping onto him as they cheered. Jamil made a successful shot. The final photo in the collection was him and Floyd standing next to each other, the Leech twin had lifted Jamil’s jersey to show off his sweat slicken stomach with a large bruise forming right above his belly button while the tan skinned student flexed an arm with a tight smile.

The caption simply said: Ouch. Kalim was in the comments to clarify what happened in the final photo as you were as curious as the thousands of comments below.

One of the guys on the other team elbowed Jamil pretty hard, but that didn’t stop him!! He’s so much cooler when he does something he enjoys!!

Your heart was now fluttering through your chest as you continued the task of scrolling through Jamil’s account for more content. You couldn’t help the smile blooming on your face as you studied how he looked mid laugh, how he poked out his tongue when he was focusing. How his body language looked when he was relaxed. How handsome his side profile looked in his off guard photos. You stopped scrolling as your heart skipped a beat in realization: Were you crushing on Jamil? Jamil Viper, who played the role of Kalim’s stressed out babysitter/older brother figure? Jamil who has the powerful ability to hypnotize and control you if he so chooses at any given point in time?

It must be his unique spell after all. Yeah. He casted it on his account to make you feel like this. There’s no way you could like him that way. Sure you spoke here and there, but there was never any romantic chemistry between you.

Sitting beside him in class with your elbows brushing as he shared his collected notes with you, the soft and warm vanilla scent of his hair surrounding you and filling your senses as he leaned in. How he would gently scold you while marking what you got wrong during a study session between you Jamil and Kalim, but he would then explain it a different way each time until you understood. The way your skin was electrified when you came over to help for a dinner party, and his large hands would gently grip your waist and inch you aside so he could get around you, his long hair tickled your skin when he whispered a soft ‘excuse me’ into your ear.

Yep. Zero chemistry.

You went back to digging through his account, wiping the smile off of your face. You just want to get to know him a little better since he was such a reserved person outside of Kalim.

A photo of Jamil chewing the top of a straw flat with Kalim sitting beside him in a booth, two long red straws up his nose as he made a strange face.

A video of Jamil dancing with Kalim to a popular idol song challenge, you caught yourself only watching Jamil instead of the pair together and you swiped away out of embarrassment.

The next one left your mouth hanging open as you stared. It was Jamil taking a timed selfie with his arms crossed over his chest, his tongue stretched out of his mouth to show off… It’s very, very impressive length and very sharp canine teeth. By eyeballing along you guessed it was about four- No. Five inches long. Much longer than any tongue you’ve seen before.

You lingered a little too long as your eyes then studied his sharp gaze, confident and if you held your phone up just right it was like he was looking down at you. Right at the bottom you could see the tops of his knees, his legs parted to show his relaxed body language.

Like a king ready to command his servant.

You felt your face start to grow warm as you started chewing on your lower lip, eyes widening larger than dinner plates as you read the caption. “Is it long enough for you?”

It was as if you could hear Jamil growling it into your ear with a smirk on his face, his hands would be on your hips when he said it, and you instinctively squeezed your thighs together. Was he intending to take the photo in such a way? It was his most popular post and you couldn’t help but scroll through some of his many comments.

Daddy!! <3

Oh wow…

Do you have a girlfriend?

We must stay focused sisters.

At least you weren’t alone in your thought process. But you were scared to let Jamil know you were digging through his MagiCam account. So, you opted to look closer at the photo and its many details to burn the image and the power it held over you into your memory until the day you passed. You knew you would never see Jamil posing in such a way ever again. Stretching his warm, wet tongue out for you to dream about whenever you wanted. The way his eyes looked down on you as if to remind you of your place beneath him. A harsh reminder that a girl like you would never have the luxury of seeing exactly what the muscle was capable of doing to, and for you. Feeling the sticky sweat slicked skin of his against your bare body as he forced his tongue down your throat, tangling with yours and you would be left gasping for air. His strong hips rolling against yours and you would struggle to keep up with his rhythm. The warm and inviting smell of vanilla from his long silky hair, tickling your skin like lips peppering you in cheeky kisses. His deep voice rasping in your ear, whispering and moaning things you could only dream about. His sharp eyes would be silently judging your every sound and movement and he would punish you the moment he dictated that you weren’t up to standard.

You liked the photo.

You weren’t sure what carnal instinct overtook you in that moment as you snapped your opened mouth shut, but now there's a rolling tide of bashfulness. Why like this picture? Why not like any of the much more tame ones? Your eyes fell half lidded as the warmth between your legs became way more intense, and you were alone in the dorm for the night. You shyly slipped a hand between your legs and rubbed over the developing wet patch in your panties with a flushed face. You wanted to get off to the picture Jamil. Badly. But before you could get any more intimate with the photo on your screen, a notification appeared in your inbox. Your eyes were now filled with shock, your hand frozen in place. It was from Jamil.

You felt your heart sink into your stomach and you developed a conspiracy that maybe he saw that you liked his picture and was waiting for a chance to talk with you. He was able to see all the fleeting fantasies you just had about him and his long tongue and was getting ready to scold you the moment you opened his message. To tell you how filthy and slutty you were for getting turned on by an innocent photo of him. How you were a lonely pervert who would hop into his lap if he commanded you to, with or without his unique magic.

Or maybe he just wants to talk to you just because he noticed you were awake.

You hesitated to open the message and pulled your hand away. Whatever pent up desires you wanted to silently enact in the curls of your brain would have to wait. Instead you braced yourself for whatever the message may be. Your shoulders shrugged as your eyes scanned over the little gray text bubble. Your heart fluttered once more and the warmth quickly returned.

This is strange to ask. But can I come over? Now?

You stared at the message with your eyes beginning to bulge out of your head. Jamil wants to come over? Right now? He sent it a few seconds ago and you shot up in bed, looking yourself over in alarm. It was 9:35 at night. But whatever it was could be important, especially coming from Jamil.

Of course! It’s just me here, I’m watching a movie. What’s up?

You offered a casual white lie and tugged at the fabric of the oversized school shirt you wore. You sniffed at the fabric with knit brows. Your eyes never left the phone screen as you sucked air through your teeth. You needed to change, after a quick shower.

Grim isn’t there?

You read the message and felt your heart rate pick up, your stomach twisted and curled into anxiously excited knots. Grim isn’t here. Jamil is coming over. It’s dark out.

Nope! I sent him to hang out with Ace and Deuce for a few days!

You were scrambling around the room in search of a more appropriate set of pjs. Black velvet shorts and a white tight fitting short sleeve shirt to go with it. Not that you didn’t like wearing an oversized shirt with a mysterious stain on the collar. But that was while you were alone or around Grim and the ghosts passing by. It wasn’t for an unplanned male company who was capable of hypnotizing you with a single selfie.

Must be nice to ship him away, I might do the same with Kalim. I want to talk with you. I’ll be there soon. It won’t take long.

A small scream left your mouth as you sent a thumbs up emoji in response. You felt giddy as you grabbed your best smelling soaps and ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower. You brushed your tongue and teeth as you lathered yourself in suds, thinking of what it could be that he was coming over to talk about? Maybe he’ll profess his burning love for you? As if. You washed your hair next, scrubbing at your scalp as your eyes were trained on the digital screen of your phone.

He would be here soon, and who knows if he borrowed the magic carpet? The thought sent you into a panicked frenzy as you rinsed your hair and jumped out of tub. After swiftly towel drying yourself off you entered your room and slipped into your shorts, tugging the white shirt over your head. There was an attempt to dry your hair with the towel as you looked yourself over in the standing mirror. You hadn’t noticed how sheer the shirt was until now, and the droplets of water dripping from your hair onto your chest weren’t helping either.

Your nipples were visible, clad only in a sheer white filter and you debated on how much time you had to find something else. But part of you wanted Jamil to see. Maybe he would make a much more interesting expression than his usual frown.

There was a loud knock from downstairs and you sprung into action as you checked your phone. Another message from Jamil.

Hey. I’m here.

You quickly rubbed the towel against your head one final time before throwing it over your mirror. Hoping your hair would dry faster, you ran down the wooden steps to let Jamil in. You whispered to yourself words of encouragement and took a deep breath as you tucked your phone into the waistband of your shorts. Unlocking the door and tugging it open you greeted the student standing before you.

Jamil was staring down at his phone as he stood on the porch, the moon covering him in a ghostly pale light. Charcoal gray eyes were the first to greet you as a soft ‘hey’ escaped his lips. Jamil’s long hair was braided and tied up in his usual ponytail, but it was held in place with a maroon colored scrunchie. Most likely gifted to him by his younger sister. He wore a dark red sweatshirt, black jogging sweats and his sandals with large golden scarabs on them. You quickly stepped out of the way to let Jamil into the dorm and his eyes remained trained on you and you noticed a rouge painting it’s way onto his cheeks. He must’ve noticed your top. Score!

“The TV is off.” He filled the silence and interrupted your silent victory. You spun on your heels to the small TV with a nervous laugh. Shit, you forgot to turn it on. “Oh! Yeah it’s a pretty crappy TV, it just shuts off on its own sometimes.” You made up an excuse but Jamil wasn’t buying it. “I see, anyways there’s something I need to talk to you about.” He cleared his throat while tucking his phone into the pocket of his sweats. “Sorry to come over so late, but it wasn’t something I could just talk about over text.” He explained and you straightened up. It must be something serious then, just as you thought. “Kalim has a crush on you, and plans to tell you tomorrow.” He announced.

“Huh?” You couldn’t help the sound that suddenly left your mouth as you stood there in shock. Kalim has a crush on you? And he’s planning to confess as well? You were close with Kalim as a friend, but you never felt anything romantic between you. He was very sweet but you didn’t feel the same way. “Did Kalim ask you to come and tell me this?” You asked, feeling guilt building up in your stomach knowing that you would reject him.

Hopefully Kalim would take it well, you would be known as a heartless monster for crushing the affections of someone so bubbly if he didn’t. “No, I’m telling you for personal reasons.” Your heart jumped in your chest.

‘Personal reasons?’ He took a step closer, tilting his head away from you with his lips pursed into a thin line. Your body felt frozen in place as your pulse picked up impossible speeds. What was he trying to say? ”You should reject Kalim tomorrow.” He stated firmly and snapped his head back at you. His eyes narrowed as his expression began to relax. You were stunned by the declaration as you locked eyes with Jamil. A smug smile curled onto his lips. “We locked eyes.” You were confused, your eyes squeezing shut as you felt a sudden weight applying pressure to the back of your skull. You pressed a hand against your temple as Jamil began to speak.

“The person reflected in your eyes is your master. Answer if you are asked. Obey if you are ordered.”

Your knees felt weak as they locked, the clothes hugging your body held you down like cinder blocks as Jamil stepped closer. The pressure was spreading from the back of your head all the way around to the front. As if a snake was constricting itself around your brain and giving it a tight squeeze.

“Snakes Whisper.” You straightened out immediately. Being trapped in your own unmoving body caused fear to electrify your veins. Jamil hypnotized you, but why? Was he afraid of your reaction? You stared straight ahead at Jamil who was now eyeing you up and down, cupping his chin with his pointer finger and thumb. He appeared proud of himself.

“You will reject him, won’t you?” His voice was filled with confidence as you remained unmoving. There was pressure applied in your neck as you nodded slowly. You could feel a bizarre tickle of static zipping through your brain as your mouth fell open. “Of course I will.” You were shocked by how easily Jamil was able to manipulate you into doing and saying what he wanted. Even when you were under his control months ago when he invited you to Scarabia during Winter Break, refusing to hear a no. That was a finger flick compared to the total manipulation you were under now. “You don’t love Kalim.” Jamil was getting closer now, herding you towards the old couch behind you.

“Kalim is troublesome, foolish, and too naive to ever properly take care of you in a relationship. You would be stuck with not only babysitting Grim, but your own ‘boyfriend’.” Your butt pressed against the soft piece of furniture, your heart racing in your chest as your breathing remained slow and steady. Jamil caged you against the couch with his long arms on either side of you. He was frowning and his eyebrows were furrowed, his expression was twisting into jealousy. “I’ve spent all my life in second place to Kalim, but not anymore. That idiot should have never told me his plans.” He sighed. “How cocky can he be? I really do hate him sometimes.” Jamil grumbled and his hands left the couch to hold onto your upper arms in a tight, yet reassuring grip.

You could smell the familiar scent of vanilla wafting off of him, your senses tingling as you could feel the pressure start to dissipate. The discomfort of the ‘snake’ uncoiling around your brain made tears prick at your eyes. The spell was starting to come undone. “He isn’t better than me in any way, and I don’t plan to lose to him on this.” He growled and leaned in, his head pressing against yours and your eyes met once more. The charcoal gray had flaming embers within and you could feel the excitement from earlier returning.

Jamil likes you. He likes you back.

“You will not accept Kalim’s confession.” Jamil whispered as his lips suddenly connected with yours. You felt your heart leap into your throat as his tongue pressed against your teeth, swiping over the bones and causing your face to flush. You gasped softly under your stolen breaths as Jamil’s grip on your arms tightened. “You will stay here, you’re feeling under the weather. Very under the weather. You will not attend any of your classes tomorrow.” He commanded softly and your head bobbed in agreement.

His lips connected with yours again, rougher this time as his teeth knocked against yours. You wanted to move your hands, you wanted to touch Jamil. You wanted to feel his heart under the palm of your hand. But all you had the power to do was twitch your fingers with need. Jamil closed more of the distance between you, his weight pressing down on you heavier than his spell.

Your bodies fit together like snug puzzle pieces as he pulled his head away, Jamil’s long tongue flicked out to swipe over your lower lip. “I’ll collect all of your notes for you. I can’t let you hear his confession. Not until you’ve heard mine.” He was breathless when he spoke and again, his grip on you became gentle. “I’ll confess when you aren’t hypnotized. But for now, I’ll just convince you that I’m the better partner.” He whispered and you could feel Jamil starting to harden. Your breath hitched as his hips rolled against you. “Well, I can convince your body at least.” He purred and tugged you away from the couch by your arms, leaving you to stand as he glanced at the door leading into the dorm. “Let’s go upstairs. The ghosts aren’t around are they?” He asked and you silently shook your head. The spell weakened by the second as you felt the need to squeeze your thighs together. Being hypnotized unwillingly was not how you expected your night to go. You thought you would’ve been happy just spending alone time with your phone and most dominant hand. But Jamil was here to prove you wrong.

“Walk up the stairs. Show me to your bedroom.” He commanded and your legs were moving on their own. The pressure was becoming lighter and lighter as your heavy limbs trekked up the wooden stairs. You listened to the sound of feet behind you, creaking against the wood as if it was anxious laughter of what was to come. Your legs started to slow as you made it to the top of the stairs feeling even lighter now as you stood in the dim hallway.

The only light source available was a thin strip of moonlight bleeding through a gap between drawn curtains. From the position of the moon, it acted as a blue arrow, pointing out the way to the master bedroom. You walked slowly with Jamil very close behind. His very presence and the feeling of sharp eyes watching you with such intensity, only excited you more. Being bossed around and having absolutely no control over yourself has awakened something deep inside of you. Something that you had no intention of talking about with anyone else ever.

You walked a tad faster and stopped before your bedroom door. You hesitated with your hand on the doorknob as Jamil stood behind you, waiting expectantly for you to let him in. Your heart drummed in your ears as you gripped the knob shakily. You were anxious now. Getting cold feet as some might say. You gulped as he leaned over you, his arms extended as he pressed his palms against the wooden door. “Open the door. Now.” The simple command whispered against the sensitive skin of your ear, almost causing you to crumble right where you stood.

You twisted the knob and entered the room, you prepared to turn and face Jamil, but you instead had to choke back a gasp as his finger looped itself into your shorts. He was pulling you towards the bed and you felt your face start to burn with realization. The innocent teasing you planned out has clearly backfired on you. There was nothing underneath the shorts or your sheer white top. And Jamil would see that very soon. “Undress.” He commanded and you felt your chest tighten.

Your hands moved at a snail's pace to the hem of your shirt. With what was left of the spell lingering you pulled the fabric of your thin top above your naval. Embarrassment stopped you from continuing. You began chewing on your lower lip and peeked over at Jamil through the corner of your eye. He removed his sweatshirt and was folding it up neatly, his sandals were already placed against the wall. The student was dressed only in a black tank top and his black jogger sweats.

You took in a sharp breath as Jamil sensed your eyes and turned to look at you. You snapped your head away and your hands yanked the shirt over your head. Your back faced him as you crumpled the shirt in your hands, knowing you were caught. The feeling of Jamil’s gaze burning into you made you flustered as you used your arms to fold against your chest. “What are you doing?” He mumbled and approached from behind.

Jamil yanked your arms away from your chest and pulled them up into the air. One of the hands clamped around your wrists as your arms were now held above your head. Jamil looked down at you with a soft hum. Your eyes met as you attempted to shy away from him. “Oh? The spell didn’t last long on you.” He muttered and his free hand slipped over your waist, causing you to whine as he held you firmly against his body. You could feel his erection rubbing against you as you shuddered from the cold air lapping over your sensitive nipples. “No matter. I still plan to convince you. Show you that I am far more superior to Kalim, you’ll turn your nose up at the thought of being with him.” His tone held promise as he pressed his lips against your throat. You flinched as the kiss melted into a sudden bite. “J-Jamil-” You whimpered and he sucked roughly on the spot.

“Hush.” He commanded, and you snapped your mouth shut. He licked over the bruising flesh and began to kiss over it, listening to the sounds you tried to swallow down and the way you struggled to control your breathing. His mouth gnawed and sucked at your throat, and Jamil watched with pride as your skin develop a purpling bruise. He laughed against your shoulder and pulled his hands away. You cupped a hand over the bruise and frowned, the blush on your face trickled up to your ears as Jamil crossed his arms over his chest. “Now kneel.” You were embarrassed by how quickly you sank to your knees before him.

Your eyes nervously wandered over his body with a burning desire that chewed at the warmth between your thighs. You met the student's gaze as he smiled down at you. His sharp gaze was pleased and you couldn’t help the feeling of your heart fluttering as you pulled your hand away from your neck. Your fingertips were stained with the clear saliva from Jamil’s tongue. “Good girl. Maybe the spell hasn’t entirely worn off just yet.” He hummed and slipped a hand against the back of your head, massaging your scalp gently with the tips of his fingers as you squeezed your thighs together.

A soft whine slipped through your parted lips as the sopping wet crotch of your shorts became soaked with your arousal. “Or maybe,” He whispered and used his other hand to nudge his sweatpants down his thighs. Your eyes widened as you looked before you. Jamil has gifted you with the mouth-watering sight of his exposed cock. Long, thick, and bobbing with impatience for your attention. “Maybe you’re just as hungry for me as I am for you.” He stroked it slowly, the tip held a bead of precum as he slipped it through his palm. Smearing the salty fluid to make the stroking much smoother, and even a little faster. You felt a trickle of drool slip down your chin as you watched with bulging eyes and a fire in your stomach that burned more and more. It was so much bigger than his tongue.

The full smut will be on Ao3!! I hope you enjoyed reading because I enjoyed writing. <3 <3 <3

#jamil viper #jamil viper x reader smut #fem!reader smut #twst wonderland #twst #twst smut #twisted wonderland #smut #jamil viper smut #hypnotism

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heavenlycloud · 1 year

Text

the veil~ ღཾཿ༉ ༘჻ღཾཿ჻

one: hell froze over ‧₊˚ ⋅ ༘☆*.ﾟ

warnings: swearing

pairing: huh yunjin x aespa 5th member! fem reader

summary: y/n and yunjin watched their members have eyes glued to their phones whenever they possibly could. they both laughed and shook their heads in amusement while thinking 'couldn't be me'. just for them to both fall into the same exact category of addicted once that first message was sent.

author notes: i realized that i don't really need pov labels so i didn't put them in. but if anyone prefers them or finds they make it easier to follow along in these beginning chapters, i can keep them in (just ask it's no problem!) additionally, will be making a taglist so feel free to drop in my inbox or the comments with your @ if you'd like to be added. lastly, feedback, comments, reblogs, questions, literally anything but hateful speech is welcome and very much appreciated!

̟ ̇ ˖ಎ˚˖࿔ masterlist 𓂅୨⊹ ₊˚๑

you stared at your phone and reread the notification that appeared on the screen for what seemed like eternity. aeri looked over your shoulder and waited for you to accept the match, and when you didn’t she grew impatient. yizhuo blurted out, “for the love of-” she reached over and pressed the accept button for you. panic flooded your veins as you frantically looked back and forth between your two members, “why would you do that?! what the hell do i do now?! i wasn’t ready bro-” aeri cut you off and pointed to the typing dots that appeared on the screen followed by the first message from your new match. she stood up with yizhuo close behind her, “relax you don’t need to freak out about anything. just talk to her like you would anyone else.” as the two of them started to leave the room, yizhuo tacked on, “have fun, we’re going shopping so we’ll be back later.” more than anything you wanted to beg them to stay and help you but they were already out the door before you could think of anything to say.

a little over an hour passed and you still had yet to reply to the mystery girl on the other end of the phone. instead you ran back to twitter, just to be welcomed by the same posts your members made not long after two of them left you alone. skimming over the posts you rolled your eyes and mumbled to yourself, "it be your own people..." [ft. minji who posts about you knowing you won't see it]

the message notification appeared once more on your screen since you hadn't dismissed it physically like you had mentally. for a moment hesitated, debating on if you really wanted to go through with this or not, after all it's not like she would know who you were if you just terminated the pair, right? the internal debate rushed through your thoughts until you just decided to text the girl back.

you tried to think of something, anything to say just so you weren't leaving this mystery girl on read leaving her to believe she was about to be rejected before it all began. except that's exactly what you were doing.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

unbeknownst to you, yunjin was frantically posting on twitter, second guessing the first message she sent you an hour prior.

she paced around her bedroom for what felt like eternity in a futile attempt to calm herself down. yunjin chewed on her lip while debating on if she should terminate the match and try for a new one.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

your gaze lingered on the notification for what had to be the tenth time today. a moment of hesitation, then you slid up and began typing out a simple greeting, your finger lingered over the send button. however, it was just long enough for you to press backspace and delete what you’d typed... again.

instead of actually responding, and initiating the conversation your mind was flooded with second guesses on the 'right' way to do it. after three tries of coming up with something, you circled right back to twitter. you scrolled back to your most recent post to see if any of your other friends had suggested anything helpful under your latest post...they didn't.

frustration bubbled in your stomach as you told yourself this shouldn't be this hard, yet here you were dealing with a single text as if it was life or death. eventually you just decided to answer with a single word rather than an actual conversation starter. not even a second after you hit send there were text bubbles appearing as lyra, your mystery girl began texting you.

while you sat cross legged on the couch smiling stupidly at your phone, yunjin was in her own room doing the exact same thing on her bed. conversation between the two of you flowed so easily it was like you had been friends with one another for years already. question after question she answered as you asked with you following the same model.

in the midst of typing whether she thought cereal was a soup, kazuha came into the american's room. yunjin paid no mind to the younger girl who entered with a towel in her hand as scrunched the water out of her jet black waves. kazuha started to ask , “unnie can i borrow your hairdryer mine is-” she stopped suddenly and looked at yunjin who was literally giggling and kicking her feet, too engrossed in her own texting conversation to realize kazuha standing before her.

kazuha narrowed her eyes then snatched the phone from yunjin’s hand with nearly cat-like reflexes. yunjin jumped off her bed and lunged for kazuha as she shouted, “wait give that back, zuha-yah!” the latter skimmed through the messages before letting out a laugh and handing the phone back, “i thought i was gonna see you two flirting or something, not debating on if cereal is a soup.” yunjin rolled her eyes and asked, “what did you want before you started being nosey?” kazuha pointed to the hairdryer on yunjin’s desk and grinned when the older girl passed it to her without complaining.

kazuha looked over her shoulder on her way out, “i’ll get it back to you in the morning because it’s late. goodnight unnie, thank you!” yunjin didn’t look up from her phone as she mindlessly replied, “night zuha.” upon the words she spoke did she realize the meaning behind them and she checked the time, eyes widening when she realized it was nearing midnight.

yunjin frowned as she read your next message that said you were heading to sleep because you had a practice in the morning. yunjin’s frown was replaced with a gentle smile when she saw you add on that you’d talk to her the following morning, and with that she locked her phone for the night and decided she’d get some sleep too.

‎♡‧₊˚˘͈ᵕ˘͈‎ 彡♡ ༘*.ﾟ .·:¨༺ ʚ♡ɞ༻¨*:·.﹢࿐ ☆

taglist: @https-f4iryjin @awkwardtoafault @seungspolaroid

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mangoposts · 4 months

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OKAY im finally alone so TW for anyone reading this, i will be mentioning rape & knives/scars.

i'll try to make this short but the summer before i went into 10th grade, i had hung out w this guy and i really did just wanna hang out and go for a drive, but he thought i wanted to hook up. i definitely did not because i was a virgin and never done anything with a guy at all. he was a senior and a lot bigger than me and forced me into having sex w him, i kept saying no and stop and take me home but he just kept getting angrier and eventually held a knife to my like pubic bone? pelvis? just down there idk. so i caved. i hated every second and cried but i stopped fighting. i haven't had sex since then, im 20 years old now and i haven't even been fingered by a guy, never given or received head, and never given a handjob. and im honestly really embarrassed about it and wanna have sex with someone SO BADLY but im scared.

the main reason i'm scared isn't because i'm scared i'll be forced into it again, although that is absolutely in the back of my mind. i'm completely fine now and over the situation, but it does worry me that i could get overwhelmed and the guy im with wouldn't wanna stop. but my bigger fear which im 100x more embarrassed of, is what a guy is gonna think when he sees my pussy. now hear me out bc i know that sounds weird😭 but all throughout high school i always heard guys make comments about how ugly this girls pussy is or how gross this girls is and it terrified me. but now i'm even more scared because of what that guy did to me, he literally cut into my skin and left scars. what is a guy gonna think when he sees that? how am i supposed to explain all this? i just i have a lot of questions and concerns but i'm a fucking 20 year old "virgin" if i can even call myself that, i've technically had sex but i didn't want it so idk if i even count that as a body. i just have been panicking over this for forever and have no idea what to do, if you have any advice at all i'd really appreciate it so so much

- 🌙

Oh baby :-(. Im so sorry this happened to you. You were really young and you didn’t deserve that whatsoever, if you can feel it im giving you a hug thru the phone. Im so so so sorry and i hope that man is dead in a ditch somewhere 🤍

On the other hand, i promise you you have nothing to worry about at all. Im telling you rn and i know it sounds so corny and lame and everybody always says this but its true, the right person is not going to judge you for anything and im so Fr when i say that. Trust when i was in high school guys would say all kinda stupid shit like that about girls in the school and it never bothered me because i knew there was at least one person out there who wouldn’t care about anything other people would talk shit about, and i was right 🤷🏻‍♀️ There’s so many people out there who would find u beautiful the way u are and just because some guys in the past thought in that immature goofy ass way doesn’t mean every guy will you know what i mean?

Babe, my only advice for you is to stay the way you are, hang out w ur frennies and the right person is gon come trust. It’ll come when you aren’t looking for it or worrying about it, when you least expect it to be honest. What you went through was horrible and it might be the worlds way of saying you gotta give yourself time before exploring that area of your life yanno. There’s NOTHINGGG wrong with being a virgin at any age let alone 20. You’re still young and you have ur whole life ahead of you. Don’t worry about this, when it happens it’s gonna be fine you’ll see it

Thank you so much for trusting me to be vulnerable with, im sorry if im treating you too delicately im just speaking thru the soul rn 😭 And again im sorry this happened to you. Even if i dont know u i love u a lot and im proud of you for moving past the situation despite how hard it might’ve been

Also im sorry for taking awhile to get back to you, i just scrolled through my inbox and finally found this

#🤍

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zorlok-if · 2 years

Note

Sooo are you just ignoring any negative comments about Tommy? Sent a few messages over the past two months and they were just questions without any hate towards you or the character.

Okay, this response was really long in the end so I'm gonna put it under the cut.

TLDR: I'm bad at responding to asks in general—it doesn't matter what the content is (or mean that I don't greatly appreciate receiving/reading them)—and I don't ignore specific types of feedback or comments. Communication is very difficult for me and it's something I'm constantly trying to work on and get better at. I have an incredible amount of respect for people who are able to keep up with asks and messages and replies and everything, providing great responses consistently and quickly, I'm just not like that.

Follow up

No I don't intentionally ignore negative comments about Tommy. I'm not sure which specific comments/asks you're referring to (since I can't remember any unanswered comments I've gotten about him that stuck out to me as really negative off the top of my head) but if I didn't respond to an ask it's either that I haven't had time to respond to it yet or that I don't know how to respond to it. And with the latter, I don't mean that in the sense of "Oh, I disagree, I don't know how to respond to this in a way that supports my idea," or whatever. I literally don't know what to say/add and it sits in my inbox or drafts as I keep trying to figure that out.

Communicating virtually is extremely difficult for me (always has been) so it takes me a long time to write and process how to respond to anything when I'm not face to face with people and able to read their reactions and body language (and then the time it takes for me to figure out how to respond leads to more guilt and anxiety which builds and makes it even harder to respond/reach out and this just turns into vicious cycle which ends with me being unresponsive, constantly stressing about what people think about me not responding, but feeling even more incapable of response). It's something I work on daily and try to get better at.

I'd like to stress again that I'm not just ignoring certain asks or types of asks. I receive many asks that I feel guilty about not answering promptly (or at all). It doesn't matter the subject or content. If I feel that I can't respond in a way that accurately and fully conveys my thoughts, is satisfying to the person who asked it, and/or is worthwhile to someone just scrolling by, I have a really hard time getting myself to respond. So, things back up in my inbox/drafts as I try to figure out responses, and then I have ADHD so if I don't see it, I'm sorry to say that it often might slip my mind. I really try my best to answer as many asks as I can and will sit down and go through as many in my drafts/inbox as I can whenever I have the time, but I'm objectively not great at doing that and don't have that much time.

I hope you don't feel like I'm ignoring you in particular or anything. When it's on anon, I can't tell who's sending me what so there's no conscious effort on my part to ignore specific people or certain opinions (even if I had the energy/desire to do that—which I don't—I couldn't because it's anonymous). I really hope you don't feel like I'm intentionally ignoring you or evading certain questions/comments. I'm not. I just struggle with responding in general.

#fuck this one got long #sorry bout that #also want to be clear #there's no emotion like anger or spite or anything in any of these words #i don't feel offended or defensive #and i'm just being honest and transparent #this is also why i'm often long winded and rambly when I do respond #i'm extremely tired so i'm not sure how coherent this is #asks #albie's corner

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alwaysthesitter · 1 year

Text

I wasn't going to make a post about this, because believe it or not, I'm trying to stay out of the drama (though with everything happening now, I'd hope people would believe it).

Having the person that has abused myself and so many others on this website being finally brought to light has been the most rewarding thing. It feels like finally having a verdict of 'innocent' after a trial that, for me at least, has been going on since 2019. It looks like for others it has gone on even longer. That being said, I read her apology, and it doesn't change things. I am such a firm believer in giving people second chances, and honestly, if said person came into my inbox and apologized to my face I would probably (and naively) accept it and forgive. But right now, I have such mixed feelings about this entire thing.

This doesn't change the fact that I felt the need to go into hiding in the first place, which is what recently got me called out as a terrible person (the irony). I went into hiding BECAUSE of this behavior, and now I hope people see that. But it doesn't change the fact that in July, during the first call out, I was spending time trying to fight a fight that shouldn't have been mine instead of spending what could have been my last moments with my grandmother (I'm relieved af that it wasn't but I went on that trip expecting it to be my last). It doesn't change the fact that I went to a con with friends this past weekend and spent most of my time locked up in my hotel room, drinking and sobbing and contemplating s*icide. I know that may sound dramatic, but anyone that knows me knows that roleplay is my biggest stress outlet. I'm a therapist in real life (surprise, if you all didn't know that). I spend so much time dealing with other people's emotions that I need to step into a fictional world to give myself space. That space was shattered for me.

It doesn't change the fact that I have spent not only the past two weeks, but MONTHS before, seriously contemplating what I did wrong. Gaslighting at its finest - my friend kept telling me there was no proof of any of my claims, that I did nothing, but I kept saying, "holy shit, what if I did, and I don't even remember?" My brain was trained to think I was in the wrong for something I never even did. I went to therapy for that shit. The first call out against me was RIGHT AFTER MY DAD DIED in 2019 and I was a disaster and went to seek help. I had friends scroll through my blogs for days, only to come up with nothing because nothing was there, but I thought there had to be something.

And it doesn't change the fact that I have lost people. I have cried over people. People I had been nothing but kind and generous to were suddenly believing ONE PERSON'S twisted opinion and commenting that they had been fooled, that I was the devil, that my kindness was all a ploy to hide from the call out. In July, I had over 200 people on this site claim I was dangerous and unsafe and ill and needed to be run off. I was labeled a villain by someone who, not a shocker to me, was hiding the fact that they were a villain themselves by harassing others with the same things they had done.

I normally don't believe call outs, clearly. Because I've been on the end of one that was incredibly false. But considering that my past 4 years have been nothing but terrifying for me, nothing but pure anxiety, nothing but nights of depression? This is a relief. But it also doesn't change the fact that there are victims here, with scars that might not ever heal. Those friends won't ever come back to me. If they do, it's going to be hard to have trust considering they flipped on a dime with their attitude towards me based on one person's bullshit Google Doc.

I don't expect anything to change for myself moving forward from this. But I hope the RPC learns as a whole. Not to believe things just because one person claims them. That 'proof' is often misconstrued and fabricated to match the offender. That call out culture is absolutely disgusting and nothing but a witch hunt in order to run innocent people out of the community just because one person has a problem with them. To believe your own truths, to trust your own interactions with people, and to just quite frankly do fucking better. Do better, RPC. Don't spread the hate. If you don't like someone, block them and shut up, rather than telling everyone else that they aren't allowed to write with them because they're "evil." I hope you all learn, truly.

And for everyone that has been a victim, including those of you that are no longer on this website because of this fear and harassment, I hope you finally get your moment of peace. Your breath of freedom. You all deserve that.

#[pretty good babysitter*/ooc]#[tw: drama*]#[tw: callout culture*]#[tw: s*icide mention*]

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tenderlyrenjun · 2 years

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feel free to ignore this but i just scrolled through your profile and the amount of anons being so fucking shitty actually pissed me off immensely. i’m so annoyed that people are being so nasty to you. i started reading "when it comes to us" and it’s genuinely really good so i’m just really confused by the criticism…?? i’m sorry, i’m sure this isn’t the type of ask you particularly want or are looking for, nor am i trying to give you unwarranted pity but this is genuinely just weird, unsettling, and honestly angering to read. your writing is good and i don’t lie abt stuff like that, so whoever is constantly dropping into your inbox to talk shit is looking for a reaction and you should really stop giving it to them. this is some miserable ass behavior it’s disgusting.

i hope your bad day becomes amazing, i understand your frustrations with tumblr and i hope it all goes back to normal soon and that you can feel happier on this account, though maybe it might be time for a new start.

thanks, im glad you liked when it comes to us; it’s one of my favorite fic ideas that I’ve thought of, although, if it is plagiarism, I’ll delete it

honestly, the criticism doesnt really matter … nothing really matters. it’s the primary feedback I get on my fics at this point, really; I dont really deserve feedback, and I guess it’s fine that people feel … something enough to say something, even if it is criticism, or whatever; it’s something; I dont really deserve comments; I’m just too focused on external validation when I should be writing for myself. I tried ignoring all the criticizing anons, and I dont answer all of the anons, mostly because I dont have the mental capacity for my sole feedback to be criticism all the time (it used to be worse), but I also get the “why are you ignoring me coward”-type of messages, so yeah, i dont really know where to go from there. honestly, it’s deserved; I know why I get so many of these types of anons - criticism or just angry, and it’s deserved. Im not a good enough writer (im barely a writer tbh) to get anything else, unless it’s just … indifference. It doesn’t matter.

thanks, I hope you have a good day, sorry to be so negative; im considering deleting my blog and just giving up, but idk; it’s just a pros and cons list at the moment; im going to go over it with my therapist later; it’s fine. it’s not that big of a deal; its just fanfiction; it’s not that deep and no one owes me anything; I should just … I should just be grateful that I get the feedback in the first place because I dont really deserve it; no one owes me anything and I just need to take the comments as they come.

#you must be new … it used to be a lot worse #a lot of people kept telling me that I should be grateful someone reads my fic in the first place even if I dont get comments #its fine … its not important … I dont really deserve it anyways. im just too focused on external validation #// delete later #< I’ll edit this ask #about when it comes to us

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silversweetpea · 2 years

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Petal, mi amor, I would actually *die* if you made soulmate Steven or (or, even better, *and*) Marc content. My absolute favorite kind of AU (I love fluff, ok?) *and* the Moon Boys, *plus* your writing?? An absolute dream come true. If I had a diary, I'd be convinced you were reading it in some way. But yeah! I'd absolutely be interested in reading it, multichapter or otherwise! And I'm still completely obsessed with the Moon Boys. Show or no show.

Sorry I poofed for a few days, I kinda stayed off of Tumblr for a bit after the Moon Knight finale. Gotta learn to cope with the fact that my comfort show is done and there's no confirmed season two at the moment, I guess 😅. I'm glad you're doing better after 'going through it', though!

I'm glad you liked the wedding idea! If you ever do write it, I fully expect to be tagged 😤. (You don't have to, but I would love it if you did.)

Oooh, yeah, I can see how rewatching the movie right before I made the comment about the forget-me-nots might have made it sting more.

Of course I have blog notifications on for you! I made it clear that I love your work!

I've always loved the idea of the little origami stars in a bottle, but I've never actually tried it. Maybe I will some day.

I am receiving all of your origami flowers and kisses and blowing some back your way! I also see that I've got my own emoji tag now. 👀

Now if you'll excuse me, I see two new fics in your masterlist that I haven't read yet so I'm off to get myself some serotonin. 🏃‍♀️

Well the good news is that I have received enough validation and am suffering from enough Moon Knight brainrot that I’m definitely going to do some soulmate material. It’s a weak spot of mine also and I’m in desperate need of more of the boys. (Also Wednesdays suck without them. Marvel please I need season two).

you’re completely fine! You don’t have to justify taking time away from tumblr, especially not to me. I chronically take days offline when I’m not feeling up to it and just rely on my queue to keep things moving. I do hope that you’re doing good when you’re not online though!!

Oh yeah, wedding with Marc is a story that is in my drafts I’m actively working on it. It’s going to take a second cuz I want to make sure that I’m doing my research and making sure things are represented right for him even if it is just a self indulgent fanfic intermixed with flashbacks but I have major hyperfixation on him right now so I can’t resist. I’m a little anxious still on the idea of tagging people but when it’s done I’m more than happy to tag you if you still want me to!

Right??? I had just rewatched poor peter struggling in the coffee shop and then i opened my inbox and ‘forget-me-nots’ was waiting for me and I lost it fdjlafkdjslakfdjsa [although speaking of movies have you seen Multiverse of Madness yet because I have Thoughts(tm) on that movie]

slkkafjdlksjflsdkajfdlksjafldskfjaioejflkdsjfkldsajfsdfoiejflskajflkejioghrajdsfsda I have no words I’m reduced to a puddle of pure emotion and glee

Oh yeah I love origami stars. But they fall into that same genre of busywork that like knitting does for me? Which is that its simple and repetitive and keeps my hands busy while my mind wanders which is really key for me since I’m super fidgety. I used to make them and put them in my friend’s bags and lockers at school to mimic shooting stars although now that I think about it I have no idea how many of them they actually found.

Listen I got tired of scrolling through my blog trying to find your asks when i wanted to reread them. I had to do something and the blue dino emoji was right there! it was perfect!

fdjaflkdjflkadsjfldsajfdsa I hope you like them! And I hope you’re having a fantastic day and taking care of yourself!!! This is your reminder to drink some water if you haven’t yet!!!!

#ask the gardener #seriously though your asks are such serotonin boosts for me and I had to add the tag #I already am terrible about not answering them so i can keep them in my inbox like when people hold letters to their chests in movies #🦕#💜💜💜💜💜💜

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willowcrowned · 3 years

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reader LIKED the fic? reader left thoughtful comment because they thought there was something worth analyzing? oh! oh! love for reader! love for reader for one thousand years!

#me scrolling back through my inbox to read people’s thoughtful comments #writing #fic #ao3 #miette #willow's greatest hits

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lacheri · 3 years

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follow me

I do not consent or allow this to be posted on Tik Tok, or any other social media

pairing: switch!Eren and switch!fem bodied reader

content: college au, OnlyFans/sex work, masturbation (m), praise kink, oral (f and m receiving), squirting, penetrative sex, drug and alcohol use, classic college party, Eren is down horrendously bad, I believe in long haired Eren supremacy, minors DNI

summary: when jean finally convinces eren to crawl out from under his rock to join society on instagram, he finds there’s a whole lot more than just pictures of food. there’s you.

wc: 15.4k (I know it’s a long one, hope you enjoy tho)

Eren Jaeger had recently found himself in a very, very deep hole. It all started innocently, when one of his best friends Jean had convinced Eren to crawl out of his hole and create an Instagram to join society.

“C’mon Eren,” Jean had teased over a week ago as they studied out on the lawn of their school. “You have no idea what you’re missing out on. No one even uses Facebook anymore, it’s all for moms who want to brag about little Timmy’s genius for figuring out one plus one equals two.”

“What do you even do on Instagram?” Eren’s brows knitted together in confusion, Jean whipping his phone out to show Eren exactly how to use it.

“You post pictures,” Jean navigated to his profile, tapping and sliding down to show Eren all of Jean’s shameless selfies.

“Of just yourself?” he breathed, not comprehending the appeal at all. Don’t people look at his face enough?

“Well, you can post anything you want, that’s the beauty of it. Plus, when you’re not doing that, you get to see and like other people’s pictures.”

“But it says here you follow, 1,536 accounts? And you have 5,000 following you back?” Eren asked incredulously, surprised about how popular his friend’s online persona was. “How do you even know that many people?”

“You don’t,” Jean shrugged, making a few taps to his home page as posts began to load up. “Celebrities have Instagram, our friends have Instagram, fuck, every attractive person on the entire planet has one.”

“How do you even find these people?” Eren’s questioning never seemed to end, the concept out of his comprehension. Facebook was one thing, he personally knew every single one of his friends and family there, and honestly he really enjoyed people just talking about their day to day ordeals.

That’s when Jean forced Eren to hand his phone over and download the app. Jean snapped a quick picture of Eren, to which Eren had no reaction time to. Before he could protest, Jean had already uploaded the candid with some random song lyrics as the caption. To be honest with himself, Eren had to admit that Jean had taken a very flattering picture. He had his knee brought to his chest while his arm dangled over, back slumped and relaxed while he sat on the blanket they had set down before lounging there, hair in his signature sloppy man bun. It was mid day, so all the shadows casted behind his body as the sun’s rays illuminated every high point and contrast of his stoic face.

After a few follow backs from his friends, Armin and Mikasa, he had accumulated a few dozen likes, and Eren couldn’t help the feelings of instant gratifications wash over him, “Okay? So, now what?”

“Now,” Jean began to instruct him, putting the phone back in Eren’s hands after showing him the basics of social media. “Go to my page, and start following whoever you want from my following list. There’s some really hot girls.”

And when Eren laid in his dorm bed that night by himself, he did just that. He really didn’t want to give Jean the satisfaction of showing him who he followed, or why he decided to. His finger scrolled and scrolled through the following list on Jean’s Instagram, hitting the follow button on a few bands he really enjoyed. But then, his hand stopped at one username in particular. The avatar showed a pretty girl, smiling brightly into the camera, sun’s golden rays blooming behind her hair.

Eren tapped on the username, and the first thing he took note of was the bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas and rock and roll’, he had to smirk at that, what a simple sentence to sum yourself up with. His eyes flickered to the link in her bio, titled, OnlyFans. He titled his head, Jean hadn’t mentioned what OnlyFans was? Did everyone have an OnlyFans too, like Instagram? He tapped on the highlighted link to be met with a page of prices. What the fuck was so exclusive about it that he had to pay ten dollars for a single picture? As he scrolled down a bit more, he noticed the pricing rising to the final payment cost.

“200 dollars for a personal Snapchat and to talk to me every day?” he read aloud, mouth open in disgust. “What the fuck is this?”

He hit the done option in the upper left corner, returning to the Instagram page in question. He tapped on the first photo, the girl’s back facing the camera, completely bare as her hair trickled down the center. She was sitting in a pretty pink bath, floating flowers all around, staring out a window, captioned, ‘wishing you were here’. His gaze lingered on the dips of her waist, before scrolling down to see the girl in some more clothing. This one was a much prettier picture, glasses set on the brim of her nose while she sat comfortably at a wooden table in a library. She stared directly into the camera, a pretty smile on her face while her hands sat perched under her chin. Some books were open on the table, and Eren took note of the quilted skirt peeking out from the under the bottom, her knees tightly crossed. ‘finals week is going to be the death of me, thank the universe for coffee’.

Eren back tracked out of the photo after double tapping, trying to drink in a comprehensive idea of what exactly people were paying so much money to see. He scrolled, and landed on his answer. The girl sat on a stool, phone angled in the mirror to take in her frame, wearing nothing but black lingerie and heels with a smirk on her face, the caption simply, ‘follow me on OnlyFans, link in bio’.

‘Hey Jean, what’s OnlyFans?’ Eren typed a quick text to his now mentor, patiently waiting as three bubbles appeared from his friend’s end.

‘Lol I see what you’re using Instagram for now, Jaeger’, was Jean’s only reply, and Eren could feel himself getting frustrated. Before he could type back an angry text, those bubbles popped up once again. ‘It’s basically porn, you pay for people’s pictures and videos’.

‘Why would someone want to do that? It’s free almost everywhere else’.

‘Because, young grasshopper, girls are hot and I’m trynna see some titties’.

Eren rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. Deducing that Jean was obviously one of these paying customers, Eren felt a little more secure in himself as he tapped the follow button on the girl’s page. What he wasn’t expecting though was a notification informing him she had followed back, followed quickly by another one liking his only post. Eren couldn’t hold back a blush, heart thumping in his chest. Did this girl think he was good looking?

The thought didn’t sit for long as yet another notification popped up, this time a comment. The girl had simply put a heart eyed emoji, followed by a fire emoji. Eren retreated in haste back to her profile, analyzing every picture and caption.

That had been a month ago, and now Eren had a full blown addiction to the website, more specifically her Instagram. Eren was even paying for her OnlyFans now, making excuses that the money he spent would be used for coffees and lunches anyhow, and he really had to nip his caffeine addiction in the butt so he might as well spend his cash on her.

She had just posted a photoset, one of many on her page, completely naked aside from a gold necklace adorned on her neck, a simple initial of ‘E’ rested prettily on her collarbone. It was like she knew Eren was devouring her social medias on a daily basis. It was all for him, Eren had concluded. There was no coincidence that she had followed and liked his own page, it was all fate and meant to be. Eren had figured out how to DM someone, thanks to Jean showing him how to during one of their classes, and he had taken full advantage of the girl’s inbox. Unfortunately with no reply or read receipt to even prove she had received his messages, introducing himself and showering the girl with compliments. Oh, Eren was down bad. He even brought himself to pay out the $50 tier on her OnlyFans for the month, tired of entering his card information for every daily post.

His dick twitched hard as he drank in her form, curvaceous and beautiful and feminine. It wasn’t even like he just wanted to fuck her either, if he needed relief like that he’d just hit up one of the handful of girls he had saved in his contacts. Eren Jaeger wanted to take this girl out on a fucking date. They had so much in common, they were practically soulmates. She liked and followed all the same bands Eren did, posted on her stories all about her favorite foods and her zodiac sign. While he didn’t really believe in that shit, his Google search history of checking if Aries was compatible spoke to something completely different.

And then Eren began noticing something. How the library she frequently posted pictures in was the same library on campus. All the restaurants she went to were in an hour radius of him, half of them being his usual hangout spots. She lived locally, which thoroughly surprised him. Had he seen her around before? No, definitely not, he would’ve definitely remembered her pretty face. None of the girls that he knew looked like her, and if Eren didn’t know what a woman’s body felt like, he would’ve sworn her body was made of plastic.

Eren was practically an expert at Instagram now, and had plenty of opportunities to follow other beautiful women, but he chose not to. He felt guilty one night as he maneuvered through another pretty girl’s pictures, quickly retreating back to the comfort of his favorite girl’s instead. This was one of the reasons Eren had fought getting online for so long, whenever he found something he liked, he got obsessive.

His attention was drawn back to her naked photos, and he slipped his hand under the fabric of his sweatpants as he began to fuck his fist to her pretty image. All for him, he panted as he imagined what she would look like in front of him, beautiful and begging for his touch.

“Thank you so much,” you smiled graciously at the Starbucks employee in front of you, taking your large iced coffee from his hands.

“No problem, have a great day!”

You tossed your hair behind your shoulder as you turned around, the smile still vibrant on your face. Today was a good day, you decided almost as soon as you woke up. After studying for finals for nearly two weeks straight, you finally had a day off to enjoy yourself. Your best friend, Sasha, had convinced you to go on a small shopping day with her. You eagerly agreed that morning, toothbrush forgotten in between your teeth as your fingers rapidly tapped away to schedule a time. You were running out of sexy outfits for your OnlyFans content, and frankly, you really need some new summer clothes. Spring was drawing to a close, and you couldn’t just wear hoodies and leggings all year round, no matter how much you wanted to.

The mall was about two blocks away from the Starbucks, and as you chugged down your coffee, you slid your phone out of your back pocket of your jeans to see multiple notifications from Instagram. Just more people liking your posts, and some DMs, but you just rolled your eyes. You got tired of explaining on your stories that they were broken, and Instagram had no intent on trying to adjust it so you’d be able to view your messages and reply. You sighed, slipping it back into your pocket as you made your way through the entrance of the shopping mall.

Sasha was seated at a table in the cafeteria near the entrance you had just walked through. She jumped out of her seat, a wide smile on her lips as she strutted up to your form.

“You ate without me?” you pouted, smelling the leftover scent of pizza wash over you.

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m still hungry,” Sasha waved her hand. This girl had the fastest metabolism of a person you had ever met, so her statement didn’t really phase you.

“Okay, so, before I spend all my money and forget, we have to go to the lingerie shop,” you stated, stomping your way to the escalators.

“I’m guessing your OnlyFans is doing good?” she asked, knowing just how expensive this certain store was as she lingered behind you.

“Dude, you literally wouldn’t believe it,” you sighed dreamily. “If I had known how much money I’d be making, I would’ve done it way sooner. You should seriously consider making your own.”

“Nah, I’ll just let you have the spotlight on this one,” she snickered as the both of you stepped on the moving staircase. “Are they all creepy old men?”

“No, surprisingly, there’s a few people I have classes with that follow me,” you gossiped. “You know Jean from economics?”

Sasha nodded, eyes widening, “No fucking way, he’s my friend! I’m not that surprised though, he’s always talking to girls and asking for their Instagrams.”

“He’s never even talked to me, right? But he buys every single post I put out! Which is crazy, considering it’d just be cheaper for him to buy the subscription,” you shrugged, stepping off the escalator and walking shortly afterwards into the lingerie store. “That’s what most my viewers do, anyways.”

“Seen anyone else interesting?” Sasha hummed, eyeing the various garments surrounding her in intrigue.

Your eyes honed in on a strappy bright red one piece, “Just a few of his friends, I think. One of them is pretty cute, actually, but he’s only got one picture up.”

“You talking about Eren?”

You nodded, eyes lighting up, “Yeah, do you know him? I’ve never seen him around campus before.”

Sasha was beginning to plot, “Yeah he usually hangs out with Armin and Mikasa, but he goes to a lot of house parties. You know, actually, I think Jean is throwing one soon. He rented a cabin for after finals, you should come!”

“Won’t that be weird?” you scrunched your face, picking up the red one piece and moving onto the next garment that caught your eye. “Like I said, I’ve never even talked to him.”

“Yeah but you know Mikasa and me,” she raised her thumb towards herself. “Eren will be there too.”

“All I said was that I thought he was cute, Sasha,” you laughed her off. “But I’ll think about it. Text me the details and I’ll let you know if I’m free.”

“Something tells me Jean would be very happy to see you there,” Sasha chuckled, you giggling in response to her suggestive comment. The two of you picked through the selection of skimpy clothing, taking it up the cashier to check out.

You walked out of the store together, giggling over small banter. Your trip to the mall was quick after that, and in the end you held a grip full of medium sized paper bags, walking outside the mall with Sasha.

“Oh, hey!” Sasha suddenly quipped, placing her bags on the sidewalk, pulling her phone out of her crossbody bag. “We should take a picture!”

“Sasha I’m not even wearing lipstick,” you half heartedly complained, getting ready to pose next to your best friend.

“Literally, you’re so fucking hot,” she deadpanned, turning her head to look you directly in the eyes. “Shut up and get in, bitch.”

You threw your head back in laughter, leaning in on the left side of her frame, pushing your hair framing your face behind your ear. You smiled widely while Sasha did the same, hearing a soft click of her phone, indicating the photo was taken. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, bringing it out to see a notification stating she had posted it to her story. You’d repost it to your story later after you grabbed food, you decided, the conversation turning to the topic of where the two of you would eat before heading back to your apartment to get drunk in celebration of your semesters ending.

Eren and his two friends sat crowded in Jean’s dorm room bathroom, passing around a blunt. He could hear Connie coughing harshly as it was passed to Eren, the boy taking a deep drag of the backwoods cigarillo. Exhaling slowly, Eren brought his phone out of his hoodie pocket to open it up to change the song playing, his phone instantly opening to Instagram.

Distracted now by his favorite obsession, he glanced at the stories section, her name front in the line, glowing in that now familiar pink and purple circle. Eren couldn’t have tapped faster, and when he did, his mouth hung open.

“Yo,” Eren spoke loudly, shoving his phone in Jean and Connie’s faces. “Sasha knows this girl?”

“Yeah, they’re like best friends,” Connie quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t know her?”

“No, I just saw we had mutual friends,” Eren’s eyebrows knitted together. “How come we’ve never hung out with her before?”

“I don’t know actually,” Jean said, exhaling the blunt after it was passed to him from Eren’s fingertips. “I had a class with her this semester, she seems nice.”

“You’re only saying that because she’s hot,” Connie chuckled. “I bet you’ve never even talked to the girl.”

Jean’s face ignited in a fierce blush as he found interest in the ceiling tiles, “Shut up. It’s harder to talk to girls than it looks. You should know that, Connie.”

“Hey! I talk to girls!” Connie leaned up from his seated position on the floor.

“Idiots,” Eren sighed, rolling his eyes. “Neither of you have any game.”

“Not all of us are as gifted as you are, Eren,” Connie protested, a smirk spreading across his lips. “You could talk to a fucking mouse and it’d figure out someway to talk back.”

Eren rolled his eyes again, harder this time, “You just talk to girls like they’re human beings, it’s not that fucking hard.”

“Oh yeah? Betcha’ won’t be saying that whenever you see that girl around,” Jean teased, finally passing the blunt to Connie in the rotation, Connie muttering something about hogging it.

Eren shifted uncomfortably on the closed toilet seat, “Whatever, Jean.”

“Speak of the fucking devil!” Jean shouted, scaring the very high pair of boys at the suddenness. “Sasha just texted me asking if she can bring her this weekend to the cabin!”

Eren’s heart erupted into a flutter of uneven beats, his face heating up. This girl he had been drooling over was going to be at a party, with him? He suddenly felt like a teenager, the idea of seeing his precious addiction face to face giving him full blown anxiety.

Soft thuds of the bass of the stereo filled the room, catchy pop music drawing Eren out of his stupor to gaze hastily around the room, searching.

“What’s up with you tonight?” Armin had asked him, drawing his attention away once again. “It’s been an hour since the party started and you’ve barely drunk anything.”

Taking note of the full red solo cup in his hand, flickering his gaze between the liquid and his best friend, Eren shrugged and tipped the rim back in his lips, opening his throat and taking large gulps until the cup was empty. “Happy?”

Armin laughed loudly, although only having two strong drinks, his best friend was beginning to feel the numbness of intoxication, “You’re really out of it tonight, everything alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just waiting for the smoke sesh so I’m not cross faded,” Eren smirked, lying easily. “Last time I got too drunk and decided to rip Jean’s bong, I woke up in some random front yard with one shoe on.”

Armin shook his head in disbelief, “You really need to start making better life choices, Eren.”

Eren shook the empty solo cup in front of his friend, “I’m trying here.”

Truthfully, the reason Eren wasn’t halfway to getting shit faced was because he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the girl of his dreams. She still hadn’t shown up yet, and Eren was getting anxious that she wasn’t going to show. Sasha and Mikasa hadn’t shown up yet either, which gave him a resemblance of hope that the three of you were together, and on your way currently to the party. His heart thudded heavily in his ribcage as he heard the jingle of the front door turn, and his attention was fully concentrated on the door frame ahead of him. His jaw dropped at the sight, his breath caught in his throat.

You asked Sasha earlier that day what you should wear to the party, and Sasha had just waved and told you whatever you felt looked the best. Not exactly helpful, you had just decided on black ripped jeans and a low cut shirt, paired with your favorite leather jacket and trusty Vans. You felt incredibly undressed as Sasha drove to Mikasa’s house, watching her modelesque frame saunter out her front door towards the back car doors.

“Mikasa, you could make a paper bag look hot,” you showered her with appreciation, her face blushing in response as she tugged her long sleeved body con dress towards her knees. “Fuck, should I have worn a dress? How nice is everyone else dressed?”

Sasha couldn’t have given two fucks about how she dressed in front of her friends, adorned in blue skinny jeans and a causal crop top, although her face was beat to the Gods, “Shut the fuck up, you’re one to talk about making paper bags look good. Besides, knowing the boys they probably made minimal effort, probably all wearing sweatpants.”

The three of you snickered at this, and Sasha pushed the car into drive and set out on your 45 minute journey into the mountains. Nerves hadn’t set in until you were face to face with the cabin door, nervous that the girls’ friends weren’t going to like you. Putting a brave face on, Mikasa grasped the door knob and pushed it open, the three of you gliding in.

Eren honestly had wanted to drop down to his knees and kiss the ground you walked on. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Your eyes were searching, for what neither of you knew, until your eyes had finally landed on him. You smiled politely, moving your hand up in a quick wave to both him and Armin.

Eren couldn’t fathom moving any single part of his body, so awestruck by you. Jean shook Eren out of his dumbstricken state with a hard pat to his shoulder, “Why don’t you go introduce yourself, Eren?”

“Fuck off, horse face,” Eren spat, trying to will himself to either make strides towards you or to break his gaze, neither working. “Why don’t you?”

“I’d love to,” he smiled wickedly, inspired by liquid courage to lock arms with Eren and force him closer to the trio of girls that had finally made their appearance. Armin followed behind, Connie emerging out of the bathroom to give his hello’s to his best friend Sasha and company.

Eren could hear his heart beat in his ears as he stopped right in front of you, forcing his mouth closed in a tight lipped grimace. He felt like a fucking teenager with a crush.

“Hi,” you introduced yourself, smiling widely. “It’s so nice to finally meet you guys!”

“Nice to meet you too!” Armin spoke up, oblivious to his friends’ reaction to the fresh pretty face of yours.

Jean and Connie wouldn’t admit it, but they were feeling their own nervousness. Jean’s out of guilt as he scanned your body top to bottom, Connie’s natural shyness kicking in due to the newcomer. Both were able to overcome it though, and offer up their own introductions. Your eyes landed on Eren once again, tilting your head, waiting for his intro.

“I’m Eren,” he swallowed. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you looked down, smiling softly. You raised your hand then, looking up at the boys in front of you, revealing a handle of vodka. “I brought a gift with me too!”

“My kinda girl!” Jean spoke just a bit too enthusiastically. “Shots, shots, shots!”

Connie pumped his fist, chiming in, the rest of the party joining as well as the crowd made their way into the kitchen. Eren purposely hung back, trying to keep as close to you as possible.

“You happen to bring any chasers with you?” he had leaned in, tickling the side of your head with his breath.

“No, I totally forgot,” you sheepishly admitted.

“Looks like we’re all gonna get plastered then,” he chuckled smoothly, sending goosebumps down your body.

“Is it really a party then if at least one person doesn’t have their head in a toilet?” you had easily quipped back, feeling more comfortable now that the introductions were out of the way.

Eren hummed in half hearted agreement, feeling slightly more relaxed himself. Besides, his attention was being grasped by the plastic shot glass being shoved in his hand, as well as your dainty one. The group held up the shot glasses, a few phone cameras capturing the moment to post on their stories, and you all swung your heads back to allow the bitter liquid to trickle down your throats. Eren made a mild face, taking a stolen glance at your own to see your grimace, sticking your tongue out in disbelief at the taste.

Another hour had passed by, and Eren was running out of reasons to follow you around the cabin as you shifted between conversations to get to know the group of friends better. You hadn’t really noticed him trailing behind you, nor did you really care because you were very quickly warming up to Eren. It also didn’t hurt that he looked exceptionally better in person. His hair was lazily swung into a half top bun, wearing a couple of gold chains with his white tee tightly hugging his torso, tucked seamlessly into black ripped jeans displaying his muscular knee caps. Eren was definitely a looker, you shifted your gaze up to his face as he made some witty comment to Sasha, his eyes flickering to your face to catch your reaction.

“Oh my god, there was this one time,” Sasha spoke your name. “She had gotten so high during last year’s spring break, and the two of us and Mikasa came up with the brilliant idea of becoming one with nature. So, naturally, we ran to Walmart and bought this tent on clearance. Turns out it was made for kids, so none of us actually fit inside when we got back to Mikasa’s house. Mikasa and I curled up in a ball, surrounded by snacks, and this smart girl over here decided it was the best choice to just lay out on the lawn and pass out.”

“I wanted to watch the sun rise!” you laughed, trying to quickly explain yourself to Eren’s amused smirk. “And the grass was just so nice that night!”

“The grass was basically straw,” Sasha countered teasingly. “Twenty degrees outside, absolutely freezing. She was MIA for like a week afterwards with a cold.”

You shrugged carelessly, “Worth it.”

Now the two of you had sleeping on lawns in common? Eren scoffed inwardly. Yup, it was official, you were his soulmate. Still though, the topic of why you were so casual in person while your naked pictures existed online tickled his thoughts. He was hoping that somehow it’d get brought up naturally in conversation, saving himself the embarrassment if you were to get offended by his questioning. So far it seemed you liked him, not having said a word about him trailing after you like a lost puppy. Jean had been sending him knowing looks all night, Connie shooting two thumbs up at Eren while Armin looked on in confusion.

Mikasa had strolled out of the bathroom finally, joining the trio who stood casually in the living room, simply stating, “I’m starving. You guys think they deliver pizza out here?”

Sasha’s eyes widened in excitement, “I don’t care if it takes an hour to get here. We’re ordering right now.”

Already ahead of the two, your phone was pulled out in your hands to open up the Dominoes app, punching in the location of the party and placing the order online. Eren watched this all, peering over your hands to see the total.

“Guys, we should chip in,” Eren called out, grabbing the boys’ attention. “We’re ordering pizza.”

“No, no!” you protested, confirming the order. “It’s really fine, my treat.”

“But that’s really expensive,” he frowned, the group all joined together in the living room.

“Don’t worry, she’s got that OnlyFans money,” Sasha waved off Eren’s concern.

“OnlyFans?” Armin questioned, darting his eyes in between Sasha and you. “What’s that?”

Jean hid his blushing cheeks and your eyes flickered to him, then back to Armin, “I sell naked pictures online.”

“So what, a bunch of old guys give you money?” Armin had asked innocently, not judgemental in the slightest.

You giggled, relieved he wasn’t asking in a demeaning manner, “Actually, you’d be really surprised about who you know follows me. There’s a lot of people from school.”

Eren’s blood ran cold as he felt a sudden onset of embarrassment. Did that mean you had known this entire time Eren was one of these followers? If you did, you didn’t let on to it, smiling shyly as the questions ended. Eren hadn’t been done with the conversation, but pride from exposing himself in front of his friends kept his mouth shut.

It was around one in the morning when the party was at its peak. Sasha was being held up by her legs by Connie as she did a keg stand, you and the group cheering the girl on in your own drunken hazes. She tapped the large can, indicating she was finished, Connie settling her down on solid ground as she belched loudly.

“That was fucking awesome, Sasha!” you giggled, throwing your arms up and around her. You were definitely feeling the shots you had been feeding yourself all night, holding your red solo cup high above the girl so it wouldn’t slosh on her.

“You should totally try it!” she encouraged devilishly.

You pouted then, taking a moment to consider, “I’ve never done a keg stand before, what if I can’t do it?”

“I’ll help you!” Eren all but pounced on the opportunity, your smile turning into a tipsy giggle. “It’s not that hard, you just keep chugging until you can’t anymore. I’ll hold you, you got this.”

You lightly blushed, nodding your head at the encouragement, bringing a fist to your chest as a salute, “I’ll do it! We gotta’ put on a cool song though, if I’m going to fail miserably I might as well have a good song to do it to.”

Mikasa volunteered, as she was already DJ, having the best music taste out of everyone in the group. She dug her phone out of her pocket, switching over to a ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ remix. Connie whooped at the choice, and everyone began to chant your name as you hovered by the keg, very nervous. Eren then placed his large hand on the small of your back, leaning in to reassure you once again. You gulped, nodding that you were ready to get into position.

“Okay, so you’re going to lean your arms on the top of the can, and I’ll grab your legs. Like when you were a kid and you’d do that stupid wheelbarrel thing,” Eren easily explained, chuckling lightly. “Use your hands to let me know when you’re done.”

You did as you were told, resting your upper body against the keg as Eren hooked his arms around your calves. He couldn’t help but admire how strong your legs felt in his grasp, and how right it felt to finally have some bodily contact. He had been trying to figure out a natural way all night, and he was bubbling over in excitement, the chance had arisen, glorious in the promise of touch.

You placed your lips hesitantly around the tap, opening it up into your mouth, and began to chug. ‘Chug, chug, chug!’ was chanted all around you, even Mikasa joining in on the fun. Fists bumped in the air, and you felt like the coolest fucking person in the world. Doing a keg stand wasn’t exactly in your goals list, but fuck did it feel like it should’ve been as your ego inflated.

“That’s it, you’re doing great!” Eren’s thumbs brushed the inside of your knees, leaning in to whisper. “Good girl.”

You sputtered around the tap, choking harshly. You removed your mouth quickly to gasp for air, and the tap shot up all over your shirt, jacket long forgotten resting on the sofa in the living room. Eren moved your legs down to the floor quickly seeing this, and wrapped his arm around your waist to steady you as your arm shot out to grab onto something, in this case his other arm.

“You alright?” Jean asked, a look of concern washing over his features as you finally got some air into your lungs.

“Yeah,” you coughed again, blushing in embarrassment. “I definitely made a mess though.”

“I brought some extra clothes with me,” Eren offered quickly. “One of these idiots always manages to somehow spill something within the first hour of drinking. I’ll show you where my bag is at.”

You smiled in appreciation, biting your tongue to accuse him of purposely throwing you off your game with his little praise that had your knees buckling. He unwound his arm, taking your hand and leading you to the staircase by the entryway, your smaller form following behind him as he thudded up the stairs. Three doors greeted you at the top, and he led you into the master bedroom, plainly decorated and lacking personal belongings. You watched as he chucked a duffle bag onto the mattress, unzipping it and going through his clothes. He found a sweatshirt, smirking inwardly as it had been one of his old sports ones with his last name embroidered on the back. Proud he could provide a claim to you, he extended it to you, and you gladly accepted it.

“Well, you did really well in the beginning there,” he chuckled, whisking his stray baby hairs behind his ear. “Sucks about the shirt though. The first time I tried to do a keg stand, I barfed everywhere.”

You laughed lightly, fingering the hem of your shirt, “I guess it could’ve been a lot worse. Still, at least I can check this off my bucket list.”

Eren’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as you lifted your shirt to reveal your bare stomach, and he whisked his body completely around so you didn’t see his reddened cheeks, “You could’ve asked me to leave.”

Behind him, you let a mischievous smirk cross your lips, “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Eren’s mouth fell open at your bold statement, letting his words leave before he could stop them, “You know?”

“Of course,” you discarded the sodden shirt to the floor, sitting on the bed instead of tossing the sweatshirt on. “You’re my favorite viewer.”

He caught your movement in the corner of his eye, and he turned his head to take in the sight. Fuck, you were even more beautiful in person. Your bra was white and pretty and dainty, pushing your tits together, accentuating cleavage that Eren wanted to bury his face in. His gaze moved up to your face, smiling so innocently at him as he let out a dark chuckle, “Is that so?”

You hummed, leaning back to expose your form a bit more, feeling confident from the alcohol, “You like every one of my pictures, you buy all my content, you’re pretty cute, of course you’re my favorite.”

Eren’s ego soared as he turned his body completely towards you, taking a small step forward, “You’re just so beautiful, how could I not? I do have to ask this though, how come you never answered any of my messages?”

“Oh, my DMs are broken. Instagram doesn’t let me view them or respond,” you explained easily. “You know, you could’ve hit me up on OnlyFans, I definitely would have answered you.”

A blush crept up on Eren again as he averted his gaze to the floor, “I didn’t think about that.”

You giggled softly, “What’d you send me anyways?”

“I asked you out on a date,” he admitted, growing more nervous. “Told you that you were really pretty. Y’know, stuff you probably get all the time.”

“Most of my messages are from guys trying to take me out drinking and to get a quick fuck,” you scoffed. “Y’know, if the offer is still on the table, I’d really like to take you up on it.”

“Really?” Eren’s eyes met yours in surprise, you watched his Adam’s apple bob along his throat as he gulped. “You’d want to go out with me?”

“Yeah, who else is going to hold me up when I try to do a keg stand again?” you smiled sheepishly, batting your eyelashes. Eren’s hands twitched at his sides, fuck, you were so pretty.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked seriously, his gaze hardening as he felt a wave of possessiveness. In his mind, you were already his girlfriend. You had accepted his date, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to push his luck further.

Eren had never felt the way he feels right now. He took immediate notice of your blushing cheeks, your confident lean turn into a shy arch as you pushed your body into a hunched over seating position. Eren had experience with girls, that everyone knew as a fact, he was very far from being a virgin. You made him feel like a fucking virgin, heart beating wildly in his chest. All he wanted to do was to grab you and hide you away for his own greedy pleasure, the darkest parts of his mind tickled by the thought. He had laid a claim to you way before he had ever met you, and he wouldn’t let you escape now that he had you here, alone.

You didn’t answer his request, you pushed yourself off the mattress and met his staggering stance halfway. Unknown to his wicked thoughts, his past month of obsessing of you, you leaned up, gently brushing your lips against his. No one had ever asked you this simple question before, instead just taking the action as if they had owned you, and you thought to yourself that you could really love this boy who presented himself so innocently to you.

The soft placement of your lips to his was not enough, and Eren buried his mouth with your own, moving both of his hands to cup your face. He could feel your jaw beneath the pads of his fingertips as you attempted to meet his pace, sensual and passionate. The need for air forgotten for the both of you, sucking in deeply through your noses as the space continued to close between your bodies.

“Gonna take you someplace real nice,” muttered Eren as he pulled away slightly to gaze his half lidded eyes on your fluttering eyelashes, your gaze now hidden from him. “I know you like that one place in the city, I saw your little post of you wearing that tight dress. You looked so fucking pretty.”

Tingles shivered up your bones, a sharp intake of breath as you fluttered your eyes open to take in his deep lustful expression, “I’ll wear it for you, if you want.”

“Wear my necklace too.”

You pulled away completely this time, baffled, “Your necklace?”

“The one with the ‘E’ on it,” he breathed, moving forward to accommodate the sudden distance, his lips meeting the corner of your mouth. You realized then what he was referring to, a small smirk uplifting his kiss. You wouldn’t tell him though that the necklace in question was just some random trinket with no meaning you had purchased, or that you hadn’t even recognized the pretty cursive as a letter. You figured out very quickly Eren’s little crush was a bit more involved than just him attached to your hip at this party. No, it was way deeper than that. All of the likes, the money, the new information of messages made sense to you. Eren had believed you were his, and he had sought out confirmation all night to prove it.

“Okay,” you played along to his fantasy, an expert since it was your job online already to provide this to your viewers. “What else do you want me to wear?”

“There’s this one set of lingerie,” Eren was the one to pull back now, letting his teal eyes trail downwards to your chest, displeased by the lack of skin shown to him in that instance. “The black lacy one, fuck, wear that. You look so fucking sexy in that.”

“You don’t like when I wear white?” you pouted, bringing your hands to rest against the peak of your breasts, framing them like a picture.

“I like anything you wear,” a smirk crossed his features, eyes locked in on your tits. “Or what you don’t wear.”

You were met with two choices then. One, kiss Eren and get dressed and save yourself for your date, or two, fulfill his now present fantasy of his that was beginning to morph into your own. You mentally battled the decision in your mind, feeling the desire curl in your stomach at each option. If you were to give in now, Eren might not want to continue to chase after you, the promise of an actual date forgotten. Not to mention the party of people down stairs, the thud of music softened behind the closed door of the bedroom indicating it was still in full swing. Eren saw your hesitation, and let his hands travel to your elbows comfortingly.

“I know we technically just met,” he started, eyes now locked in on yours in genuine honesty. “But I really like you. You’re all I’ve thought about for the past month, so if you don’t feel comfortable going any further, that’s okay, I’ll wait. I’ve waited this long.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you bit your lip as you watched his teal orbs flicker to your mouth. “It’s just — oh God, this is embarrassing to talk about so soon.”

“Shh, it’s okay, I won’t judge,” he cooed, bringing just a hand up to soothe over your cheek.

“I’m not exactly quiet,” you admitted, gesturing towards the floor. “I don’t really want to be the girl who fucks someone at the first party they show up to.”

Eren hadn’t predicted you to be loud in his fantasies, but he was really wishing he had. He held back a groan at your confession, images of what could be filling his dirty mind, “Fuck, okay, no problem. I don’t have any condoms with me anyways.”

“Actually,” you drawled. “I’m on the pill, so as far as that goes, that doesn’t really matter. I’m clean too, I haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”

Boxes were being ticked quickly off of Eren’s checklist, and he let his jaw hang open, “I’m clean too, I don’t fuck anyone without a condom, to be honest.”

I’m going to fuck her raw, is all that was going through his mind. Treat her so good, take her out wearing her pretty little dress and treat her like a fucking princess.

“Please tell me you’re free tomorrow,” Eren pleaded. “I’ll take us fucking anywhere you want.”

“I am, actually,” you batted your eyelashes.

“Cool,” he muttered, beginning to feel drawn into your lips again. As you began to lean back in, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

“Hey! Everything alright?” you both froze, recognizing the voice as Armin’s. Of course he’d be the only one to dare interrupt, and the party below had discouraged him. Eren had taken you upstairs, and while they were all aware of the possibility of the two of you would be hooking up, Armin was more concerned that one or both of you had gotten sick and were in need of help.

“Yeah, we’re fine! Be out in a second!” Eren shouted, feeling suddenly frazzled from the intense interaction between you two. If Armin had opened the door, seeing the two of you locked in together so closely, making out feverishly, it would be completely mortifying. Especially since it wouldn’t be the first time Armin had accidentally seen his best friend in a suggestive situation.

You pecked his lips quickly then, breaking out of his embrace to throw his sweatshirt over your head. Eren was counting backwards in his head to rid himself of the half erection in his pants, nearly impossible as he thought about how pretty you looked in his clothing.

“C’mon,” you tugged at his hand, urging him to follow you back downstairs. “We have a pizza to eat and friends to convince that we definitely didn’t just fuck for ten minutes.”

The group hadn’t made a single comment when you two rejoined the party, only just knowing smirks from Jean and Connie to Eren. Sasha had wiggled her eyebrows at you, and you quickly pulled her and Mikasa into the bathroom to recap what had just occurred upstairs. The girls clapped drunkenly at your news of a date, incredibly excited that their best friend was finally going out with a boy. The night had ended around three in the morning, bodies scattered throughout the house to pass out wherever they pleased. Eren had continued to stay by you the rest of the night, this time, not shy at all as he stole touches to your back. And when it came time to pass out, you felt smugness as he rested his head on your back while you laid on your side on the same bed upstairs, his arm thrown tightly around your waist. Sasha curled up in front of you, your own head snuggling into her shoulder as the room spun you into a deep slumber.

You sat at a vanity in your apartment bedroom the next evening, applying various makeups to your face. Mikasa had awoken you and Sasha pretty early the next morning, wanting to go home so she could get ready for her job. Eren snored quietly behind you as you tried your best to maneuver out of his grasp, and the three of you cleaned up the cups and plates scattered around the house as a thank you to Jean for the invitation. Sasha had driven you all the way back to your place when you realized you were still wearing Eren’s hoodie, and you smirked. Now he definitely had a reason to get you on this date tonight, you had something that belonged to him.

When Eren had woken up, he truly believed for a few minutes that you had just been a dream. Pictures and videos posted all over Instagram had shown him differently though, the two of you leaning against each other on the leather couch smiling drunkenly on Armin’s story had his heart pounding. His arm was around your shoulders, your head was tilted in the crook of his neck, and then Eren remembered that he was going to see you again tonight. He took a screenshot before the story moved on to a video of the group in a heated discussion about music tastes, a quiet chuckle made its way out of his throat as he recounted memories that would become very fond to him.

He had posted the picture then to his Instagram, a few others followed after that included him and his other friends. Eren tagged all of the people, but most importantly, the picture of the two of you was the first in the line up of the photo set. A few messages hit his inbox after he hit the post button, some classmates asking if you were his girlfriend, because you were wearing his sweatshirt in the photo. He decided to not respond, because as much as he wanted to tell them yes, he knew he’d be jumping the gun. His heart raced as a notification popped up — you had liked the picture, and added a comment, ‘last night was a movie’ with a kiss emoji. When he refreshed the page, your lit up story showed him that you had even reposted his photo set. His ego soared, his affections no longer one sided, and he couldn’t fucking wait to take you out later and show you the best time he could.

Eren had gotten your phone number from Sasha not long before your date, asking for your address and trying to pick out a time to head out to dinner. You tapped a response quickly, and looked at the clock to gauge how much time you’d need to be fully ready. That had been about three hours ago, your body had been scrubbed and shaved, hair curled prettily down your back as you added the final touches of lipstick to your lips. The dress Eren had talked about was laid out on your perfectly made bed, a pretty satin champagne colored fabric, and your apartment was fairly clean, fully expecting his company after the date of all went well. You dressed yourself easily, slipping on black heels when you heard the chime of your phone, letting you know Eren was awaiting you outside.

When the elevator doors chimed open as you walked into your lobby, you saw from the entrance doors Eren leaned back casually against the Uber he had offered to pay for. His attention immediately focused on your form as you exited your building, his gaze flickered all over your body.

“You look incredible,” Eren easily complimented, pushing himself up to stand straight. He leaned in to kiss your blushing cheek as you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’, and he pulled the door handle of the sleek black car, ushering you inside. He slammed it closed after you had positioned yourself comfortably, giving the driver a soft greeting as Eren circled around the back, getting in on the opposite side. The directions were already plugged into the driver’s GPS, and it took less than twenty minutes to get to the restaurant in question.

This gave you enough time to take in Eren’s appearance, and damn if you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to do so, the sight practically mouth watering. His hair hung low in a messy bun, a few complementary strands hanging out to frame his sharp jawline. His torso was adorned in a sheer white long sleeve button up, a small portion of his chest revealed as he had left the top buttons alone, chains hanging against his collarbones, silver in color this time. Black slacks that tightened around his thighs and calves had you biting your lip in appreciation, his legs spread as he took up space in the backseat.

“Staring isn’t very polite,” he had leaned in, taking notice of your devouring gaze.

“Stop dressing like a whore and maybe I won’t stare,” you teased back, chuckling quietly when he swatted your exposed thigh lightly. He kept his hand there for the rest of the drive, enjoying the comfortable silence as the quiet hum of the radio filled in the gaps.

When the Uber had slowed to a stop outside of the fancy restaurant Eren had insisted taking you to, he swung the door open before you had a chance to reach for the handle on your side. He raced to the other side of the car, pulling open the door and extending his hand out for you to grasp onto. You circled your fingers around his palm, and he tightened his grasp as you swung your legs over the flooring, and stood before him. The two of you thanked the driver, and he sped away shortly after. Hand still locked in with yours, Eren led the way inside the opened doors of the restaurant. Inside, a hostess wearing a very classy black uniform greeted the two of you.

“Reservation for Eren,” he spoke smoothly, and your eyes widened in surprise, expecting to have sat and waited for at least a half an hour before you had been seated.

“Right this way,” she smiled politely, two menus in her hands as she welcomed you into the dining area. You followed behind Eren, realizing that this place must’ve been a lot more expensive than you originally had gauged. All the guests appeared in their very best formal attire, and the chatter was soft as the beautiful notes of a piano resounded throughout the space. While you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the music was coming from, you had a strong feeling that there was a physical player somewhere in the midst, it sounded so clear and professional. When the hostess had sat you down in a booth secluded against the furthest set wall, she smiled politely once more and informed you that the waiter would be with you soon.

“Eren,” you hissed as you sat opposite of his smirking form. “This place is stupid fancy!”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waved easily. “I got it, I promise.”

“How are you able to afford this? I’ve got a little bit of money and even I couldn’t go some place this nice,” you questioned, feeling a small pang of guilt. He was going to go broke trying to treat you to a very nice, albeit expensive, meal.

“My dad is a doctor,” he shrugged, picking up the menu and eyeing over their drink selection. “He sends me money whenever I come around and help around his office.”

“Following in the family footsteps?” you tried at the conversation, realizing you virtually knew nothing about the boy in front of you.

“Nah, I’m more into the business side of things,” he smiled up at you then, showing off his pearly white teeth. “What about you? What are you majoring in?”

You spoke of your major, Eren carefully listening in of your passions and your goals for your future ahead. He was pleased to hear that you were ambitious, smiling as he was enamored by your speech. Not that he minded a single bit about your online job, but to hear that you had a legitimate career goal soothed his worries.

A finely dressed waiter greeted you shortly, introducing himself and taking the both of your orders in one go, and stole away the menus. The rest of the date flew by quickly, tipsy from your cocktails and full of giggles as the two of you got to know one another. Although Eren was already knowledgeable about a number of your likes and dislikes and personality quirks due to Instagram, you had the undisguisable pleasure of learning his right then and there.

“So,” you leaned your elbows onto the table, resting your chin atop of your closed fists. “Tell me, how many girls have you taken here before?”

“Not a single one,” he chuckled lowly, passing the black booklet encasing his credit card as the waiter stopped at the table. “This is actually my first time taking anyone out somewhere so fancy. Usually I just hang out at the more lowkey spots around campus.”

“I would’ve been totally okay with going somewhere like that instead,” you frowned, that same guilt flooding back to your stomach. Eren hadn’t even let you see the bill before he had given it away, so you were completely ignorant as far as how far the total rang up. “You really didn’t have to take me out to such an expensive place.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, smirking as he did so, “Had to take my favorite girl somewhere nice, show you off in that gorgeous dress of yours.”

You blushed, moving your fists to hold your cheeks to try and contain the heat, “Fine, but next time, I want to see one of these ‘lowkey spots’.”

“Next time, huh?” Eren mused cockily.

“Yes, I guess I had a really great time tonight, consider yourself honored,” you giggled half heartedly.

“Oh believe me, I do.”

Eren had walked you to the front door of your apartment like the gentleman he was. Really, he was just trying to procrastinate leaving you, not wanting the night to be over with quite yet. Luckily, you were on the exact same page as he stood awkwardly behind you while you unlocked your front door.

You turned, an eyebrow raised, “Well? Are you coming in or what?”

“Say less,” he sighed in relief, following your sauntering frame inside your apartment. He was initially impressed as you flicked the light switch on the wall up, illuminating your precious space. Very clean and organized, he felt a pang of jealousy, knowing his own dorm room was scattered with clothes and empty water bottles. If he had only seen what your living space looked like before you had straightened up, he might have felt better about himself.

“I have some róse in the fridge,” you offered, making your way to the kitchen. “Would you like a glass?”

“No lie, that’s literally my favorite wine,” Eren groaned. “How are you this perfect?”

You laughed loudly, grabbing two wine glasses from your cabinet, opening your fridge and retrieving the bottle. Filling the glasses generously, you left the bottle on your kitchen counter and turned around, Eren a lot closer than where you had left him a moment ago. You extended his cup, which he graciously took and sipped. You mirrored him, gulping down your own mouthful.

“Y’know,” he started, gazing around your kitchen space. “For all that talk of mimosas in your Instagram bio, I really expected there to be a lot more pictures of you drinking them.”

You chuckled once again, “Believe me, I have plenty of orange juice, vodka, and champagne here. We had such a classy dinner, I thought I’d try and match it with some wine. Besides, vodka brings out the worst in me.”

“Ah, lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes, swatting his bicep harmlessly. “I get what you’re about at brunch with the girls.”

“If I had a nickel for every time Mikasa had to peel me and Sasha off the pavement after mimosas and scones, I’d be fucking rich,” you giggled once again, raising the glass to your lips.

“I’m really surprised we hadn’t met each other before last night, especially because Mikasa and I have been best friends since we were little,” Eren raised an eyebrow. “She’s basically my sister, and never once did she say anything about you, I only met Sasha because Connie’s attached to her hip and they share the same brain cell.”

“If it makes you feel better, I only knew Jean existed because we had a class together this semester,” you shrugged, purposefully leaving out the part where he consumed your content almost as much as Eren did.

“And of course me,” Eren smirked cheekily. “Because I’m your favorite viewer, like you said.”

“Don’t make me regret telling you that,” you pointed your glass towards him in a fake threat.

“It’s okay, you’re my favorite girl, so it evens itself out,” Eren placed his half drunk glass on the counter top, his gaze much more seductive. “Besides, you wore my necklace like I asked, I gotta tease you a little bit.”

“I wore pretty much everything you wanted me to,” you smirked, copying his actions and settling your own cup down.

“Did you now?” he took long strides to stand in front of you, toying with the necklace that he had laid claim over.

“I can show you, if you want to see,” you leaned up with full intentions of capturing his kiss.

“There’s nothing else I would rather do, pretty girl,” Eren cooed, licking his lips before meeting you in the middle. His arms circled around your waist, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as the pace started out slowly. Gentle was not what either of you wanted though, the desperation seeping in fast as his fingers explored your sides.

“Bedroom,” you gasped as he removed his lips and attached them to your jaw. He had no qualms of fucking you right out here in the kitchen, so he made no effort to move. Realizing you had to take the reins, you moved backwards from Eren, smirking as he groaned from the sudden distance. His eyes followed you predatorily as he began to chase after you, your back meeting the wooden paneling of your bedroom door. He attempted to recapture your mouth, but your hand was faster in turning the door knob, and you began to lead him back until your mattress met the backs of your knees.

“Want you to show me what you’re wearing under that dress,” Eren demanded, playing with the short hem that rested on your thighs.

You nodded, giving him the silent okay to take off the fabric encompassing your frame. You turned so your back faced him, moving your hair out of the way so he could unzip the back. His eyes followed as he fingered the silver zipper, agonizingly teasing himself as more and more was revealed to him. Seeing the straps of the black lace he had requested drunkenly the night before, his patience snapped as he pulled the metal piece down faster. You slid the tiny straps off your shoulders at the sweet feeling of release, and Eren’s dick was rock fucking solid as it pooled around your feet, you kicked the silky fabric to the side and faced him once more.

“You’re wearing everything I told you to,” he stated, drinking in the sight of your scantily clad body. “Good girl.”

You bit back an embarrassing moan at his praise, feeling the heat pool between your thighs. It came as such a shock to you to be so reactive to his words, and it came slamming into you that maybe you weren’t as vanilla as you had previously believed. You had a kink! It all made so much sense, why you felt such pride and arousal from complete strangers giving you their attention and compliments online. You yearned for it, craved the affections, and now that Eren stood in front of you, more than willing to shower you with pretty words, all the moisture in your mouth dried up. You wanted him so fucking bad.

Eren’s hands met the naked skin of your waist as his palms etched over your soft stomach. They met in the middle of your back, leaning your back onto the mattress as he climbed on top of you, a single hand coming up to work on discarding his button up. You rushed to help, pads of your fingers working the buttons open until he revealed his bare chest, his chains hanging above you. He worked his arms out quickly, tossing the fabric onto the floor. He brought his lips to yours, this kiss much more desperate and needy than the previous ones. His hands explored every inch of your body, the tops of your thighs to the swell of your breasts. He tugged on the soft lace at the top, slowly bringing the black fabric down to expose the complete fullness of your breasts. A sight familiar yet somehow new made Eren groan, the pads of his thumbs brushing against your pretty nipples, instantly hardening them.

You moaned lightly, throwing your head back and arching your back into his touch. How many times had Eren pictured you just like this?

“I fucked my fist so many fucking times thinking about you,” he confessed as he pressed slow open mouthed kisses to your collarbone. “You have no idea what your pictures did to me, no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”

He leaned his bottom half forward, pressing his thick clothed erection into the meat of your thigh. You let out a whimper, head foggy as his words made your pussy clench around nothing.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he licked a stripe up your neck, leaving a wet saliva trail as he wrapped his lips around where he could feel your pulse the strongest. “My pretty girl.”

While Eren wanted to talk about what you did to him, all you could think about was what he was doing to you. The want and need that coursed through your veins was like a drug, you could feel him worming his way into your bloodstream, straight to the center of your heart and out to the warmest parts of your body. And you felt like an addict in that moment too, and every moment you would spend with Eren there after. You could feel his kisses as if he was underneath your skin, his entire body pressed against yours. So, so close, yet not close enough.

“Take off your pants,” you demanded shakily, placing your hands at the button of his slacks. He seemed to be on the same page of you yet again, and he followed his instructions without delay. He kicked out of the tight pants with ease, and you were more than pleased to see he had rid himself of his boxers too when you heard the thick slap of his cock meeting his stomach.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, eyes widened. “Eren, that’s not going to fit.”

“Don’t worry,” he soothed your hair back from your face, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose. “I’ll make sure you’re nice and wet for me.”

He started to move south, licking and giving attention to your right nipple as he did so. While the idea of him giving you thorough attention was erotic, you really wanted to please him for your first time together, unknown to you as Eren had thought the exact same thing, wanting to make you feel so good you’d come crawling back to him for more.

You pushed yourself up into a seating position, Eren’s eyes flickering in confusion as you stood up. This look didn’t last for long as you switched positions, pushing his torso onto the bed as you rested atop of him, feet placed firmly on the ground. His mouth hung open in disbelief as you began to return his assault on his neck, sucking and kissing and even biting along the columns. He let out a shaky groan, unable to hold it back as your hands traveled down his chest to his abdomen, feeling over the muscles there.

“What’re you doing, princess?” Eren questioned teasingly, not trying to get his hopes up on what your plan seemed to be.

“Wanna’ make you feel good,” your eyes flickered up to meet the dark green of his eyes, watching as his pupils expanded as the realization hit him like a brick.

“Fuck, okay,” Eren subconsciously widened his thighs then, bringing himself up to lean on his elbows as your kisses followed shortly behind the trail of your fingers.

Your mouth met the defined muscle of his stomach, and your eyes drifted up to catch Eren’s reaction as you neared closer to his aching cock. His eyes were hardened on you, brows knitted together, he almost looked angry. You kitten licked above his navel, and knew the anger was superficial as he threw his head back, letting out a quiet groan. You leaned your body in closer, pushing your exposed chest against his length. He whipped his head forward again at the contact, his lips opened as he inhaled shaky breaths.

Part of you had kind of wanted to hear Eren beg for your mouth, but the thought had quickly left your head as he entangled his fingers into the back of your scalp, massaging gently as he did so. Without a moment of hesitation, you lowered your face so you were eye to eye with his thick shaft. Honestly, you really hadn’t expected Eren to be this big. You had caught a glimpse of his half erect member tenting in his pants the night before, but as it stood to full attention, you were very much intimidated by the sheer size. You gulped, putting on a brace face as you continued on.

The sound of Eren’s groans growing louder as you licked a bold stripe from the bottom of his base to the tip of his head had stirred your cunt deeply. You were on your knees now, feet tucked up under you when you felt the wet patch of your panties touch the back of your heels. You licked a few more times, your right hand trailing down from his stomach to grip him more upright. You pulled all the saliva in your mouth onto your tongue, and wrapped your lips around his tip while your hand secured a purposeful grip at his base. You started slow, only sucking in your cheeks and moving your tongue along the underside of his head, pumping him at the same pace. You could feel beads of spit meet your knuckles, circling your tongue around the entirety of his fat mushroom tip. You smoothly licked along his slit, collecting his gushing precum and tasting the salty liquid.

Meanwhile as you had just started your worship of his cock, Eren was watching you in disbelief as your eyelashes fluttered along your cheeks, mouth prepping yourself to take in his full length. He had pulled himself into a sitting position now to provide you the best angle he could. He was in complete awe, furrowing eyebrows and his mouth hanging open, he knew in that moment there was absolutely no point of return. He would follow you from here on out, whether it be online or in reality, wherever you would go. Soulmates, he reminded himself while he collected your hair into his fist and away from your mouth. You were his fucking soulmate.

You pressed your knees upward, eyes opening. Eren’s pupils were blown out, his breathing irregular, and you wanted to watch him completely unfold as you angled your head to drop lower onto his shaft, hand working just a little faster.

“Fuck —“ he stuttered, eyes blazing into yours. “That’s it, take all of me, you’re such a good girl.”

You moaned lightly at his praise once again, and Eren’s cock hit the back of your throat. You pulled your lips up slowly, tongue caressing the underside of his member the entire time, and quickly brought your unoccupied hand into a fist. This was the first time you would be trying out this trick, reading it in a magazine since your gag reflex was very strong and this helped soothe the impulse. Eren was not prepared in the slightest as you removed the hand gripping him, letting his dick fall forward a bit more. You took a deep breathe through your nose, spit coating his entire cock now, and pushed your mouth fast back down his shaft.

Eren let out a strangled gasp when your nose brushed against his pelvis, “Holy fucking — fuck. Shit, yeah, just like that. You look so fucking pretty right now.”

Tears were threatening the spill over your lash line and you bobbed your head furiously, taking in as much as you could before you gagged. You stared up at him the entire time, watching his face screw together as you lapped and sucked his cock. Your jaw was aching already from his size, minding your teeth placement as you quickened your pace. You returned your hand to wrap and pump whatever your mouth wasn’t able to reach as you set yourself into a more comfortable pattern. Your other hand cupped his balls, swirling them softly in your palms.

Eren’s fingers yanked you back, his dick falling out of your lips in a soft pop, as you looked up in confusion, “Gonna’ stop you there baby, gonna’ make me cum.”

His hand in your hair guided you back up to his lips, and Eren could taste himself as his tongue pushed through your swollen mouth to enter yours. You moaned into the kiss, so sloppy and messy, you took no notice of Eren’s hands wiping away the leftover dribble on your chin. He yanked you back, a bit rougher this time, and you panted, rubbing your thighs together at the force. He eyed you up, your beautiful tits still on display, the fabric of your lace bra folded underneath them.

“Get naked for me, princess,” he cooed, untangling his fingers from your scalp. You did as you were told, practically ripping the lace set off your body as you soon stood stark naked in front of Eren. He pushed his legs up, joining you. You felt very small then as he towered above you, playing with the tips of your hair, he guided you around until you were forced to lay yourself flat on your back on the mattress once again.

Eren caressed your shins as he stood tall in front of you, never breaking eye contact. You could still see the glistening of your saliva on his cock, and heat continued to pool in between your thighs in anticipation of his next move.

“Look at you,” he whispered, wrapping his fingers on the tops of your bent knees, legs closed together. “So pretty, it almost hurts to look at you.”

His darkened eyes shot down, drinking you all in before settling on your closed legs. With his hands, he gently forced them to part, and he let out a quiet moan at the sight in front of him. Dripping in arousal, almost sparkling and shining like the gem you were, your pussy spread open for him, begging for his attention. His gaze darted up back to your face, trying not to get too carried away as he admired your beautiful body.

Eren let out a dark chuckle, stroking his hands to the meat of your thighs, “You have no idea the things I have planned for us, princess.”

You whimpered, unable to voice a single word. His right hand moved towards your center, and you gasped sharply as he gently grazed your folds with the lightest of touches. His thumb landed a hair above your clit, and you squirmed, desperate now. He circled so slowly on your pearl, gazing on with an inflated ego. Eren wanted you to beg for him, to tell you all about those ideas he had going on in his head while he fucked his fingers into you.

He decided to go easy on you though, you had plenty of time ahead of you to learn exactly what he wanted when it came to the bedroom, he cooed, “I’m gonna’ show you off, just like you deserve. Gonna’ buy you pretty things, treat you like the fucking princess you are — gonna’ be my pretty girl.”

“Please, Eren,” you whimpered, attempting to push your pelvis into his hand, failing miserably as his other one gripped your thigh in place. “I need you.”

“Tell me exactly what you need, baby,” Eren smirked.

“Everything,” you breathed out. “I want you to keep calling me pretty, wan’ you to fuck me.”

“We’ll get to that part soon,” he paused, lowering his head to your inner thigh, getting to his knees on the floor. “Just need to make you feel good first, pretty girl.”

Eren licked a bold stripe up your pussy as you mewled, feeling a shred of relief as the tip of his tongue circled your clit. You felt a bead of saliva, probably mixed in with your own arousal, travel down the seam of your ass. Eren was starving, and you tasted so delicious, a sweet tart flavor exploding across his taste buds. He flattened his tongue, and looked up to watch your gorgeous face as his lips engulfed your clit.

You threw your head back, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as you attached your hands to your breasts, pulling and tugging on your nipples. He positioned his hands to the back of your thighs then, somehow managing to spread you open even more. The sounds he made in between your folds were wet and sloppy, and he rubbed small circles with the pads of his thumbs into the creases where your legs met your ass.

He never broke away from your face, watching everything unfold before him. Now that you were free from his solidifying grip, your hips were rolling. He watched your ribs expand and fall as you moaned unabashedly, rubbing your cunt into his mouth. Eren had never seen a more beautiful sight, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. His right hand itched closer to your opening, and you trembled at the prodding of his index fingers. His tongue flopped around sloppily, slurping your bud in between his lips as he entered you slowly, cock pulsing at the feeling of your slick velvety walls greeting his finger.

Here he was, on his knees before you, eyes heavy and swirling because of you. You arched your back as he pumped the single digit in you slowly at first. He felt the tight clench of your walls as his tongue flicked at a certain angle, pleased that he had discovered very quickly how he was going to get you to cum. Eren was impatient, and as much as he wanted to stay between the heat of your thighs for hours if you’d let him, he really needed that orgasm from you. The tip of his pointer finger left you briefly, and you whimpered at the sudden loss, quickly becoming breathless and he slammed it right back in alongside his middle finger. They curled inside of you, brushing right against the soft spongy wall that was your g-spot. You were gushing for him, the sloppy noises of his assaults resounding around the bedroom.

“Fuck, fuck,” you panted, feeling your breasts bounce as he fucked his fingers into you at an alarming pace, tongue following the pattern eagerly. “Oh my god, I’m so close, Eren, I’m gonna’ cum.”

He pulled his mouth back momentarily, voice husky and pleading as he told you, “Cum for me, baby.”

You slammed your hips down onto his knuckles, feeling the underside of his palm and your slick. He had been reduced to curling and angling his fingers inside of you, watching in adoration and awe as you bounced yourself on his fingers, rubbing your pretty pussy against his mouth. Eren had just become a bystander at this point, he was pretty much forced to be stilled as you used his mouth and hands so greedily, feeling an unfamiliar swell in your cunt.

And when your back arched, and your walls clenched so fiercely tight around his drenched fingers, Eren found his forever love. He’d do anything, be anyone, whatever the fuck that was asked of him, to see this sight for the rest of his life. You were vibrating, legs shaking so strongly, Eren had to mentally catch up when he felt a gush of hot liquid soak him. He shifted his gaze down in shock, and holy shit, you were squirting.

You swore you had never orgasmed like this before, it was more than stars you were seeing behind your closed eyelids. It was pure black, absolute nothingness as your brain short circuited. It was like your pussy was taking a deep breath, because when the onset of contractions hit you, you thought you were going to pass out. And poor Eren, who stared dumbly in front of him at how intense your muscles were flexing, was already so deeply in love with you and was confessing his eternal devotion to you in his mind.

When your cunt had settled down, and your hips relented in pushing yourself against Eren’s face and hands, you let out a low moan as he slid his drenched fingers out of you. He stared at his hand, shining with your cum, and flickered his gaze up to you.

“I’m going to fucking marry you,” he growled. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”

You let out an exhausted laugh, “Would you believe me if I told you that was the first time I’ve ever squirted?”

“I’m buying you a goddamn ring tomorrow,” he placed a kiss to your inner thigh, moving his body up to hover above you. Eren’s hands wrapped around your thighs once again, propping your knees to your chest. He saw the slight trace of fear in your eyes, and he paused, “You okay?”

“It’s just,” you gazed at the point between your bodies. “Are you gonna’ fit?”

Eren leaned forward, feeling slightly relieved, his face still dripping in your essence, and he placed a sweet, romantic kiss to your lips, pulling away to murmur, “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

You nodded your head, letting the worry roll off your body as one of his hands caressed your cheek, never breaking eye contact with him. The other hand reached in between your centers, grabbing his throbbing cock and sliding himself along your pussy. He was soon coated in your juices, and both of you were letting out quiet moans. As he sunk his tip into your entrance though, you were gasping loudly.

Eren really had wanted to be gentle, he had no intentions whatsoever of hurting you, but he had realized very quickly that you were going to be the one to set the pace in the relationship. Because as soon as half of his shaft was anchored in your heat, your hips slammed upwards to engulf his entire length. He bit back a yelp at the suddenness, fisting the sheets by your waist in a tight grip. If Eren didn’t feel like a virgin before, he sure as fuck did now.

You didn’t realize just how prepped that orgasm had made you, or how sensitive. What you had believed would’ve been pain was insurmountable and mind blowing pleasure, and you smiled in pride as Eren’s jaw fell open. You felt his hands fall from the underside of your thighs, and you took the opportunity, leveraging your legs, and thrusted upwards. Eren bottomed out inside of you, and you winced slightly at the mild pain of his tip meeting the wall of your cervix, the stretch of your walls accommodating him as you fluttered around him.

“You’re so big, Eren,” you moaned out, moving your hands to grasp his flexing biceps. “‘Feels so good.”

Eren was fighting an internal war — go as slow as physically possible as to not bust in your heavenly pussy in three strokes, or give you the best two minutes of your fucking life. Because it was absolutely all way too much, your gorgeous face, your soaked core, the way you gripped his cock so tightly. You were a vixen, Eren’s personal vices wrapped up in one human body. He couldn’t help but take notice of how perfectly your bodies fit together, your pussy made for him.

“Eren, move, please,” you whined, attempting to squirm your hips. He shot a hand down to your hip, stilling you as he gave you a warning glare.

“I’m trying really hard not to cum inside of you right now,” Eren groaned, finally moving his hips. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. Making it real hard for me right now.”

Little was Eren aware of your pussy still on edge from the mind blowing power of your first orgasm, and you mouth lolled open as he slowly fucked you. If you were to touch your clit, or have any type of pressure there right now, it would be over for you as well. You’d have all the time in the future to have long, drawn out sex with Eren, but the two of you were just way too turned on and aroused by each other to have anything but heavy and fast sex. With a slight hesitation on your end, also not wanting to cum so quickly around his length, you rocked your hips into his fastening pace.

Eren chose the latter of his two options then, feeling the ridges of your pussy pulse and flutter around his cock. He pulled all the way back, tip daring to fall out of your little hole, and he flung himself right back in to the hilt. He repeated this a few times, and you were trying your best to hold back screams. Eren was drooling at the sight of your pretty pink pussy taking him, sloppy and messy from his saliva and your cum. He brought his attention to your bouncing breasts, molding one into his palm, rolling the nipple in the center.

Eren’s thrusts quickened dramatically, and he knew that your warning from the previous night had been true. You were screaming, calling out his name and several swears and ‘oh my god’s. This only encouraged him more, ego pretty much stroking his own cock as he plunged into you at a dangerous pace. He knew he was going to fast approach his orgasm, but Eren wasn’t stupid either. He could feel the clench tightening around him as he fucked right into that pretty spot inside of you, the way your breathing changed after a few seconds of that. Eren would become your number one expert, knowing every tell tale sign of your body, and what you were feeling. From one orgasm, he knew how your breathing changed, and Eren was determined to take you to those heights again.

Keeping the flick of his hips at the slamming pace he was at, he brought his thumb to your swollen clit. At the impact, your eyes screwed closed over the overwhelming pleasure. You felt a twinge of pain, just so sensitive from how strong you came before, but didn’t stop Eren as he rolled your pearl in fast circles, putting delicate pressure on the very top. It took maybe three strokes of his cock and a slight unsteady irregularity in his pattern to get you right where he had wanted you — desperate to cum alongside him.

“I’m so close, Eren,” you moaned out, lower body buzzing in anticipation.

“I want you to cum on my cock,” he demanded, a shocked moan crawling out of his throat at the first clench. “Oh, fuck, good girl.”

You spasmed under him, eyebrows shooting up in a furrow as you arched your back uncontrollably, the wave of your second orgasm slamming into you like a train. You could hear the squelching of Eren fucking your pussy as you contracted around him, or as he tried to. It was pure ecstasy, a feeling of wholeness filling you entirely. Half way through your orgasm, he grabbed the base of his cock, sliding out of you as he pumped himself fast above you. You held your legs open, breathing heavily as Eren watched your muscles contract in astonishment. He had never made a girl cum like this before, so hard and so visually. Your beautiful face, eyes encouraging him to cum, was all he needed. His dick was covered in you, his fingers sticky and soaked. It was all so fucking sloppy, and the thought and sight of it all caught up to him.

You felt the hot ropes of cum hit your belly, moaning at the sight. Eren was fucking his fist, cock thrusting in his grip like he had been doing in your pussy. His head hung forward, eyes drinking in the entirety of you. He shot his load on your lower half, stroking himself down after a couple of minutes, breathing heavily.

He eyed the box of tissues on your nightstand, and grabbed a few, languidly wiping his cum off of your abdomen as the two of you tried to catch your breath, or bring a ration thought back into your minds.

“We just had porn star sex,” you giggled tiredly.

“Oh yes we fucking did,” Eren smirked. “Not to like hype you up or whatever, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Your pride and ego swelled as he finished wiping up his cum, discarding the tissues in the bin on the floor. He hadn’t given you much time to respond, asking where the bathroom was so he could grab a rag to clean you up. You were humbled, affection rising in your chest when he returned to take care of your exhausted body. No one had bothered with aftercare before, and right then and there, you knew Eren was a keeper.

“Thank you,” you yawned out, stretching your legs in front of you. Eren hung around a little awkwardly, not sure of what to do. “You can spend the night, if you want to.”

He raised his eyebrows, a smile crossing his face, “Do you want me to?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing yourself back until your head met your pillows and lifted your comforter, gesturing for Eren to join you. And that he did, pouncing on the offer and sliding into bed with you, not hesitating for a second to wrap his muscular arms around your waist. He kissed you gently, pulling away to place his lips on your shoulder as you began to drift off.

You awoke alone in your bed, the bright rays of the sun hazy as you blinked the sleep away. You could smell and hear the sizzling of breakfast in your kitchen, your bedroom door swung wide open. You threw your legs over the mattress, stealing a quick look at yourself in the mirror. You cringed at the mascara stains under your eyes, taking a tissue and wiping underneath your lashes to look presentable enough for the man looming in your kitchen. You discarded the tissue, and slid on a pair of fresh panties and Eren’s enormous sweatshirt you had yet to return, and padded your bare feet across your floor to join him.

Eren’s back faced you, his form only clad in a pair of boxers as he focused his complete attention to the frying pans in front of him. You smirked, leaning against your counter, placing your chin in your open hands.

“Good morning, Chef Eren,” you teased, catching him off guard as he jumped a bit.

He turned to face you, hair a complete mess as a boyish smile graced his face, “Morning, princess. I hope you don’t mind my mess.”

“It smells amazing, so I guess I can figure out a way to forgive you,” you sighed dramatically. “Only if there’s coffee involved, though.”

“Way ahead of you,” he moved his legs over to your coffee machine, a pair of steaming muga awaiting his hand. He grabbed one, a plain white mug that matched the rest of your kitchen set, and set it on the counter in front of you.

“If you’re trying to earn extra credit, it’s working,” you said, dumbstriken.

“Gotta’ show you I’m boyfriend material,” he wagged his eyebrows, turning back to the frying pan before cutting the heat off. “I couldn’t find your plates, though.”

“Cabinet above the sink,” you directed, pulling out a stool from underneath your kitchen bar. “Forks and stuff are in the drawer by the refrigerator.”

Eren nodded, collecting two plates and the necessary utensils from their designated areas. The sight of eggs and bacon made your mouth water, and you were about to get a key made specifically for Eren to waltz in every morning to cook you this glorious meal every single day. You thanked him as he set your plate in front of you, and you dug in.

“Eren, it’s so good,” you complimented after chewing. “You really know how to treat a girl.”

He simply laughed, and the two of you fell into a pleasant conversation. And then by the time mid day rolled around, the two of you had talked all about where you’d be spending the evening. The night had ended just like the one before in mind blowing sex, the morning after repeating itself, and again, and again.

A month later, you had updated your Instagram bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas, rock and roll, and Eren Jaeger’. And when it had come time to update your OnlyFans content, you were more than happy to have your own personal photographer to use at your discretion. Just as long as you continued to wear his necklace, Eren would take as many pictures as you needed him to, knowing you’d end up in each other’s beds at the end of the session anyways. And he’d continue to follow you, this time though, you’d gladly send him his favorite pictures for free.

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absurdthirst · 3 years

Note

Hello!! So I've send this request back when they were closed but I didn't know that (so sorry!!) And since your inbox got deleted I thought I would send again. It's one where Marcus or Frankie meets the reader on Tinder, could be pure fluff or pure smut. I just wanna see what's really like meeting a nice guy in that app since I haven't had much luck lol

***Full disclosure......I have never been on Tinder. Or any other dating app. I’m too old and married it seems. 🥴

Swipe Right

The fact that he posted a photo that also included other hot guys caught your attention. Scrolling through the app that only seemed to highlight people at the height of what they considered appealing, it was nice to see someone in a more relaxed setting.

He was in the middle man in a group of five. All of them dirty and seemingly soldiers from the guns you could see strapped to their waists. Appearing to be friends, you kept looking at the man in the tan pants and the dirty red jacket. His smile makes you wonder if that glimpse of a dimple you think you see is real.

“Francisco Morales, 42.” You sip your coffee and stare at the picture again. “7 miles away. Huh, why haven’t I run into you, Francisco?”

Delving into the biography you smile as you read it. “Former military pilot, so yeah, I’m divorced. Single dad, just looking for someone to hold a conversation with that doesn’t puke on me.”

Chuckling to yourself, you can’t help but press the green heart. Tapping on the message screen you decide that you are going to send him a message. With your tongue between your teeth and feeling flirtier than you had in a long time you quickly type out the message.

“For clarification purposes, is it the friends or the kids that puke on you? 😂 These are important things to consider.”

You hit send and close the app, not expecting a reply anytime soon but hoping your comment at least makes him laugh.

About an hour later your phone dings. Picking it up, you get the notification that someone, Francisco has matched with you and sent you a message back. Opening up your phone you start giggling at his response.

“Mostly the kid, but sometimes it’s the other idiots too.” You love the fact that it's pretty straightforward and decide that there must be some sarcasm in there too. Messages can be hard to interpret tone but you like that he’s willing to throw his friends under the bus.

“Full disclosure then, my last adventure in competitive hurling was in college.” You type out. “Does that give me an advantage?”

His answer is surprisingly quick. “Absolutely. Considering I’ve been puked on today, you’re in the lead. Daughter, not idiots this time.”

“Really? How old is your daughter?” You assumed the child had to be young or sick to have thrown up on him today.

“She’s 7 months old and decided she did not like the sweet potatoes this morning. 🤮” You raise your eyebrows at how young his daughter is, but don’t want to assume anything. He had stated he was divorced and you hoped that was the case.

As if he read your mind another message popped in. “Full disclosure of my own. I’m divorced and have full custody of my daughter. The idiots made this profile and put it on my phone. Told me I needed to talk to a female who does more than blow raspberries at me.”

“Is that why your profile pic is a group photo?” You ask him, curious if they had set up everything.

“No, I changed it, but I don’t take many photos. I guess the word is selfies? I’m, uh, new to all this.” You could understand, the dating world had changed so much. Going from meeting in person to meeting online.

“Well, maybe we could get to know each other the old fashioned way? Meet up for a drink? I promise not to puke on you. 😜” You bite your lip as you send that message, knowing that it was a little forward of you. Normally you talked to guys far longer before you suggested meeting in person, but you enjoyed his honesty.

It took a few minutes for him to reply, enough time for you to start second guessing yourself before a new message popped up. “My sitter said she can watch my daughter tonight. If you’re free?”

Your smile is wide as you reply.

****

You walk into the bar, looking around to see if you can spot the man in the picture. Craning your neck to look over the heads of other people, and trying to tell yourself not to worry when you don’t immediately spot him. You are always early, sometimes annoyingly so to others, and there’s no reason for you to assume he’s stood you up because you are fifteen minutes early.

A movement catches your eye and you turn your head, surprised when you see him tossing his hand up and standing up from the high topped table about thirty feet away from you. Your name comes out over the din of people and he walks towards you with an almost relieved look on his face.

“Hey, sorry.” He walks up to you and for a moment you think he’s going to shake your hand, instead he swipes his hands down the front of his jeans nervously before motioning to the table behind him. “I’m always early, so I figured I could get us a table.”

You smile at that, a man after your own heart. “Must the military training?” You ask and he nods, giving you a small smile as he touches your upper back respectfully while walking you over to the table and pulling out the high back chair.

“Fifteen minutes prior is drummed into my system.” He agrees. “Drove my ex, uh, shit….sorry.” He murmurs, flushing slightly and giving you a wary look. “Way to immediately start off wrong. It’s uh, been awhile since I’ve dated.”

You wave it off with a shrug of your shoulders. “It’s a part of your past. I’m sure I’ve got plenty of stories about ex’s if you want to compare.” You quip and you see his shoulders slump in relief and you are delighted to discover that dimple is real when he shoots you a wide grin.

He’s real. There is an easy, comfortable air about him. He’s not trying to impress you, per say, but he had at least worn a nice button up and his hat was sitting on the table, worn and obviously well loved. The same one he had worn in the profile picture. His patchy stubble doesn’t look like he’s neglecting personal grooming, just that he can’t fully grow a beard and it's endearing.

A few beers for him and a couple of glasses of wine for you later, both of you are laughing and trading stories. Francisco or Frankie, has a nickname you don’t quite understand. “Catfish” is what he is called by his idiot friends. “It was my call sign in the Army.” He tells you, shrugging his shoulders.

“But Catfish?” You ask and he grins again.

“It worked.” He leans back and you admire the way that his neck stretches when he tips his beer bottle back to take a long drink. The way that his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed made you look away, a bit flustered by the fact that you wanted to press your lips against it.

You had learned a bit more about him. His background in the Army and his history with his ex. He blamed himself for her leaving, his issue with substance abuse. You had been surprised when he had been so honest about his past. “I fucked up and handled shit wrong.” He looks down at his hands, frowning. “But I’ve been sober since I found out my ex was pregnant. Fifteen months, and I will stay that way for my daughter.” He says quietly.

You respected that, liked that he told you so you could make an informed decision about him. Obviously there were some things that you knew were deeper than he let on. A flash of sorrow bursts in his brown eyes when he said that the man with his arm around him had passed away recently. A mission gone wrong, prompting his decision to not do that kind of thing anymore. You offered your condolences and he had changed the subject.

Looking at his watch sometime later, his eyes widened and he looked at you with regret. “I’ve got to go, the sitter will need to get home and -”

“I understand.” You did, even if you were disappointed that he had to leave. “I, uh, I had a good time.” You offer, giving him a smile.

Frankie nodded, standing up and taking a step closer to your chair to where you lean back to look up at him. “So if I were to, say, ask for your number, would that be okay?” He bites his lip and looks away. “I don’t actually like that damn site, and I’d rather call you.”

You giggle at him and nod, pulling out your phone. “I would like that.”

Frankie’s smile definitely makes your stomach erupt in butterflies and you are so glad you had chosen to swipe right.

MasterList

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#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #catfish fanfic #catfish x reader #catfish x you #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales x reader #frankie catfish morales imagine #frankie morales x f!reader #catfish x f!reader

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Real Friends

Valkyrae & Reader (Male)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: SMAU, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Following an accidental and not very consensual face reveal, Y/N’s dealing the sudden shift of the spotlight on him even more than it was before. Being the big deal he is on social media, the internet has every right to be freaking out. Luckily, he’s got a friend to help him cope with it all.

Requested by @iawaythrown Hii! Thank you so much for your request! I’m so sorry for how long it has taken me to complete your request and post it but here it finally is. I’ve never written a SMAU before so this isn’t the classic SMAU format but I still hope you’ll enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

Imagine you end a toxic relationship of almost a year and go to bed feeling like a ton of bricks has been lifted off you, like you can finally breathe properly and like you’re finally getting a taste of freedom. The very freedom you chose to lose by getting in the toxic relationship in the first place. Of course, I didn’t know it was toxic at the time, probably cause it wasn’t, but it gradually turned into a nightmare.

A nightmare that keeps haunting me even after I thought I had put an end to it.

Apparently, that was wishful thinking cause I woke up this morning to find an unbelievable number of notifications and messages from friends, family and my manager and associates. Being in the music industry as a faceless creator, I keep my circle tight and it only consists of people I can trust so to see them all freaking out at me at once, even the most level-headed ones, freaked me out too. Quickly, I opened the first notification I reflexively tapped on and it opened a post in which someone had tagged me.

A picture taken of me while I was asleep, no doubt one taken by my ex. That being said, I think we can all have a guess at who posted it in the first place. I didn’t listen to my manager when he told me to not allow anyone I trust 1000% into my inner circle. I was foolish and at the peak of my career, feeling on top of the world and feeling invincible which was rare for me. I’ve always been insecure about many things in my life, growing up with a lot of judgy people made me be that way. Not to mention that I didn’t want to be the victim of the internet’s racism either. People turn a blind eye most of the time, but it’s still there, it still exists and looms over all social media platforms, disturbing people’s peace left and right. You see, I didn’t want people to have an opinion of my art based on my appearance or associations with other creators. I’m pretty good friends with many content creators, especially in the gaming industry, but I’ve never wanted to be put in a box as one of the many friends of someone famous. I made a name for myself without anyone knowing who I am exactly.

And now they all know because of this photo that my ex sent to float down the rivers of hungry social media:

Damn am I gonna get an earful from my manager or what. It’s still rater early though and I’m really not about to deal with this drama on a caffeine-free brain so if there are any calls, emails or messages that need answering - and yes, there are PLENTY of them - they’ll all have to wait until I feel like dealing with them. I’m glad I don’t have to keep up this unbothered charade at home since I live alone cause I seriously don’t feel ok with this. I mean, I could probably report it, but what use would that be when my brand now has a face and a huge chunk of my privacy has already surfaced against my will.

As I sit in my kitchen, sipping my coffee, I finally gather the nerve to at least scroll through the notifications that I’ve received. Fans reaching out, relatives, friends, pissed off people that are there just to exist and try to disturb my peaceful existence but all they’re gonna get is a hard DELETE from me. I have offers on top of offers for modeling pending, waiting on my response. I’ve never considered it, being a faceless creator and all, but my manager will definitely want to milk some cash from this too. That thought makes me sigh in defeat. I have no one to blame but myself for trusting my ex. No one made me do it, no one made me let them in, but I still did, fucking myself over insanely. Just like they’ve now fucked me over.

Amongst the sea of notifications and yet to be opened messages, one in particular stands out and makes me do a double take. It’s a message from my friend Rae - Valkyrae, as she’s known online. She’s one of those gamer friends I mentioned earlier, probably the one I’m closest with. Her and I talk on the regular so seeing a message from her in my inbox is nothing unusual so I wonder why that was the one that stuck out to me. Regardless, that’s the only one I feel like opening and replying to at the moment.

V ~ Hey Y/N, you doing ok? This all must be really hard on you so don’t feel obligated to reply. Do so when you can or want to. I’m here if you wanna talk

Of course Rae would be the one to know how I truly feel in a situation like this. I can act and cover up all I want but she knows exactly what’s underneath the surface of my façade. That third eye friends have for each other, it’s incredible.

Me ~ Doing ok. Wasn’t expecting to wake up to this but now that millions of people know what I look like it feels oddly bittersweet, you know? Like I don’t have to go out of my way to hide anymore but I’m also gonna miss that privacy I had while I was a phantom

Me ~ On the upside: people want me to be a model now XD

My message goes to Seen almost write away, the Typing icon appearing shortly after the messages were read. I wait for Rae’s reply, sipping my slowly cooling coffee with little interest due to how invested I am in our conversation. If there’s a person who can make light of this situation, it’s Rae, no doubt about it.

V ~ I know what you mean. It’s not gonna be easy to adjust to but you will get used to it eventually. I’m sure you’ll even grow to like it. Promise you, it’s not that scary to be exposed, there’s literal millions of people who support you wholeheartedly :)

V ~ Us, your friends, are here too! Never forget that, we’ve always got your back, Y/N!

V ~ Oh and you really should be a model! Whoever’s saying that has got the right idea. Maybe don’t fear this new change, but embrace it! Take this new turn in your life confidently. Sure, it was out of the blue, but do you really want the person who exposed you to feel the satisfaction of bringing you down? That doesn’t sound like you at all tbh

The epiphany strikes me as soon as Rae’s words sink in as I read them. She’s 100% right. The last thing I want is for my ex to think they’ve won. I refuse to give them the pleasure of tasting victory on the expense of my mental health and career progress. In fact, imma show them just how much they benefited me. But first...

Me ~ Thank you so much, Rae. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this eye-opener

Me ~ I owe you one <3

I sure as hell owe her one, but for now I have other battles to win.

Rifling through my gallery, I find one more recent picture and without a shred of doubt or hesitation, I go straight to Instagram to post it.

~ “Since y’all were curious...And since y’all wanna see me model, you’re welcome” ~

Within seconds likes and comments start flowing in like a riptide, taking over my phone that, despite being charged all night, is already at half of its battery life.

I refresh the page with the post to look at the new comments that have come through, all supportive and complimenting me, some are real thirsty and some are incredibly kind. And even in that sea, her comment still sticks out to me, making me grin like an idiot.

“That’s what I was talking about! Work it, Y/N!“

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dramaqueeenamby · 3 years

Text

𝙎𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝗈𝖿 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 | seven

Parings: CEO!Chris Hemsworth x Stripper!OC // Words: 7.8K // Type: Series // Taglist: Yes/No (Inbox me to be tagged or removed) Warnings: Sexual harassment, racial themes, discussions pertaining to child death, miscarriage, alcohol/drug use, and suicide attempts. Angst.

A/N: I'm so sorry for the inexcusable delay in updates. This chapter is hella long and perhaps should have been split into two, but I promised ya'll some answers in the last chapter, so here they are!

“What is that haircut?”

“Why are you zooming in?”

Kaya said nothing, continuing to pinch her fingers to gain a closer look, her smile widening by the second. “Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. “

Chris rolled his eyes. “All children go through phases.”

“This is beyond a phase, my friend. Don’t even get me started on the outfit.” As she erupted in yet another fit of giggles, he took advantage of the opportunity to snatch the iPad away from her.

“Go to sleep.”

Quieting herself down, she wiped at her eyes. “No. Come on. I’m enjoying this, and like you said, you were a dumb kid. How were you supposed to know these photos would haunt you till’ the end of time?”

“Only if they get out.”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time, sir.”

Chris closed the app and looked over at her. “What about you?”

Kaya’s brow lifted. “What about me?”

“What about your phases?”

She snorted. “Absolutely not.” He continued to stare her down, prompting her to cave, a surprising move even for her. Kaya’s tenacity was typically much stronger than that. “Fine.”

She grabbed her phone and unlocked it, opening Google Photos and scrolling mindlessly. She knew that any horrifically embarrassing snapshots would be from as far back as her library went. The older the photo, the higher the likelihood she would regret ever caving.

It took roughly two minutes for her to locate a set, her eyes shutting and a small moan leaving her partially closed mouth.

He smirked. “Found it?”

“Shut up.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“You’re going to make me regret this, aren’t you?”

“Without a doubt.”

She couldn’t help it. She laughed. “At least you’re honest.” Blowing out a breath, she issued a formal forewarning. “In my defense, I was young and dumb.”

“How is that diff—fine, I will reserve my judgment.”

“Liar.” When he said nothing else, she took another deep breath and gradually pulled her phone away from her breast, twisting her wrist so that he could see the screen. “I give you, thebaddestputa69.”

She watched the corner of his lips lift upward as he fought off a smile in favor of a smirk. “Hotmail or aol?” Her surprise at his knowledge of the fallen email servers must have shown because he commented, “I’m old, not ancient.”

She matched his smirk and leaned over to whisper. “Hotmail. Definitely hotmail.”

“AIM username?”

“Come on, the same as my email. I wasn’t creative enough to have multiple aliases.”

He chuckled, grabbing her phone to examine the photo. “I certainly do not miss the peace sign era.”

“I’m pretty sure I used that same pose in all of my photos back then.”

He gestured to the plastered graphic that read ‘jealousy is a disease, get well soon’. “With the same masterful level of editing, I’m sure.”

“But of course, blingee and picnik were a staple.”

A comfortable silence befell them as he returned her phone, and she quickly swiped up to close the app. Kaya was grateful that he didn’t swipe right or left, something she was expecting him to do, if she was being completely honest with herself.

Kaya yawned and naturally laid her head on his shoulder as she reached over to grab the book she was reading when they somehow got on the topic of rebellious and wild phases of days of past.

“Are we th—”

“Finish that sentence, and I will personally throw you out of this damn plane myself.”

Kaya looked over at him, eyebrows furrowed, and mouth pronounced. “It’s a legitimate question.”

“No, it was a legitimate question. However, it stopped being one when you asked me the fifth time.”

“I’m just trying to keep the conversation going. Damn.”

“No, you’re just trying to pester me.”

“Look, it’s obvious you don’t want to hear me talk anymore, so I’m just going to shut my mouth for the remainder of the flight.” He snorted. “What?”

“We both know that’s not possible.” He finally broke his gaze from his phone as he looked over with that knowing smirk that she despised. “You always have to have the last word.”

“That is not true.”

“Kaya, you’re like a child.”

“Keep it up, and you’ll be the one who’s personally tossed from this jet.”

“See what I mean.”

Groaning, she threw her hands up and shook the book in her right hand. “This is the second book in this series.”

“And?”

“And I started the series when we were still on the taxi.”

He shrugged. “Read slower.”

“Chris!”

He laughed, reaching to place his hand on her thigh as she sighed while banging her head back against the headrest. “Relax.”

“Don’t you think if I could, I would?”

“You were doing great five minutes ago.”

“That was in the past.”

��Next time, we’re taking separate jets.”

She didn’t know why but hearing him refer to future happenings both excited and saddened her, for more reasons than one. She cleared her throat. “This is a work trip, right?” He looked down at her as she placed the book down on the ground and held onto his bicep. “You know, something for your company.”

He studied her for a moment and looked up, closing his eyes as he laid his head back against the headrest. “I have the cover of this month’s GQ Italia.”

“Fancy,” she remarked, still unsatisfied with his answer-non answer. “So, I was right. This is a work thing.”

Chris thought about what she said, what she asked, as well as his response before he replied. “They offered to contract a photographer in LA.”

Brows scrunched, she had to ask, now more confused than she was just a few minutes ago. “So why go to them?”

His silence only irked her, the seconds dragging into minutes, which felt like hours. Frustrated and impatient, she called his name again. “Chris-”

“Jesus,” was all she heard before his lips were on hers, palm of his hand pressed against her cheek. Everything else after that was a sensual blur. His other hand moved to her hip, pulling her onto his lap, never once breaking their kiss. She placed her hands on his shoulders, giving a light squeeze, inching her body closer to his, close enough to feel the heat that always emanated over him.

And then, it was over.

Eyes fluttering and breath staggering, she nearly whined when he ran his thumb over her swollen bottom lip.

“This isn’t work for me.”

----

“This is our room?”

Chris looked up and chuckled, watching Kaya spin around the middle, eyes soaking in their suite. He placed her bag near the closet while crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“It is.”

Kaya nodded and grabbed the bottom of her sweatshirt, tugging it over her head. She extended her arm out and turned around, lifting a brow. “And we have maid service, correct?”

He eyed her. “Of course.”

Kaya smirked and let the garment fall to the floor.

Chris chuckled. “You wanna explain that?”

“What?” She played innocent, fingers toying with the waistband of her joggers as she began to shimmy out of them. “Staying in a fancy hotel where I don’t have t0 clean up after myself?” She walked toward him, moving to grab her suitcase so that she could find her next outfit. “Granted, we have the maid service at home, but—” Both Christopher and Kaya paused at her statement, equally surprised by how easily it flowed, but more so with the statement itself.

Defense immediately kicked in and Kaya cleared her throat. “I mean, ya know, your place.” She refused to make eye contact that exceeded ten seconds, grabbing the handle of her suitcase and dragging it in the direction of what looked like the bathroom.

“Dibs.”

Her feet weren’t moving fast enough for her liking. In fact, they were slow enough that Chris was somehow able to cross the room and grab her by her arm. She looked up, managing to remain calm while inwardly panicking.

God, please don’t let him ask anything.

“Don’t take too long.”

She swallowed. “Why?”

Her grip on the handle tightened when he moved his hand to her face, the back of it brushing against her cheek. Had he been paying close enough attention, he would have noticed the way she shivered at his touch.

“You want dinner, don’t you?”

-----

“This isn’t exactly what I meant.”

Kaya looked up from her pizza, pausing mid chew. “What? Pizza in Italy? This is goals.”

He intended to take her to a fine restaurant, one where only the elite could afford to dine. Instead, she requested pizza delivered to their room. Kaya never ceased to surprise him. “And why are you eating pizza with a fork?”

She shrugged, adjusting the thin strap of her shirt. “Because pizza is messy, and my life's already messy enough. I avoid when I can.”

Chris didn’t say anything, simply watching her eat. She caught his gaze and looked away. If she could, she’d go back in time and stop herself from ever saying what she did. It’d ruined everything. He’d been acting different around her since, and she hated that. She also hated that she hated it.

Since when did she give a flying fuck about what people thought of her? Let alone him.

It was out of character for her, and she didn’t like it.

She didn’t like it at all.

Similarly, Chris also found it difficult to focus on anything other than the encounter from earlier, but not for the reasons Kaya thought.

Not even close.

“So, what’s the agenda for this trip?”

He chuckled and brought the champagne to his lips. “And ruin the surprise?”

Her eyes narrowed as she replaced the fork with her fingers so that she could eat the crust piece by piece. “What surprise?”

“What kind of question is that? Who gives away a surprise?”

“Are you capable of ever just answering my questions with a straight answer?”

He pretended to think. “I could.”

“But?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“You and fun? Never realized they were synonymous.”

“I’d like to think we have fun.”

“We have sex. Really, really, great sex.”

“You don’t consider that fun?”

“Fun isn’t a strong enough word to describe it.” He lifted a brow, and she scoffed, tossing a red pepper packet in his direction. “Stop it. I am trying to have a mature conversation here.”

“Not quite sure how possible that is when both parties are inebriated.”

“Bullshit. You know damn well neither one of us is drunk. You haven’t seen me drunk. Hell, I haven’t seen me drunk in a while.”

The way her tone changed toward the end of her sentence garnered his interest. “Why not?”

She looked at him, her smile faltering as she nervously cleared her throat. “I—uh—I get really bad migraines, and Excedrin is the only thing that works for me.” Telling him the truth, well, a fraction of the truth, felt strange yet relieving, probably because she’d spent so much of her life hiding and lying that the truth was unfamiliar territory. “Needless to say, meds and alcohol? Never really a good combo.”

“You’re drinking now.”

“I haven’t taken any medicine yet.”

“Maybe you won’t have to.”

She smiled sadly. “I will.” A beat. “It’s all I have.” Kaya snatched another piece of her crust and swallowed fully before explaining. “That’s why my sleep schedule, if you can even call it that, is so fucked up.”

He thought about it. “Excedrin has caffeine.”

“An insane amount.”

“It helps your migraines—”

“And keeps me up in return.” When he grew quiet, she offered. “Trust me. The insomnia is much better than the pain.”

“I’m sorry.”

She grimaced, eyes darting in either direction. “Why?”

He sighed and ran his hands all over his face. “That’s why you get so upset when I wake you up.”

“I wouldn’t say upset.”

“You threatened to slit my throat in my sleep.”

“Okay, maybe I was a little upset,” she confessed, and they shared a laugh before his tone grew serious again.

“I’ll be mindful of that.” Head tilted to the side, a sign she was still confused, he continued. “So that you can sleep.”

She smiled teasingly, abandoning the last bit of her food, and pushing her plate to the side. “Is that consideration I hear?”

“It is.”

The way he was looking at her, the lack of typical sarcasm in his tone, it was both welcoming and conflicting. Crawling across the floor, she moved his plate to the side and climbed into his lap.

Hands on his shoulders, she lowered her voice and whispered into his ear. “Well, I’m up right now.”

He made a sound and brought his hands to her hips. “You are.” Her eyes shut when his lips moved to her shoulder. “You should get some sleep.”

Immediately, she coiled back and glared. “Are you serious right now?” He laughed, which only upset her further as he stood up, her legs locking around his waist. “It’s been at least 8 hours.”

“You keeping a timer or something?”

“Look.” She waited for him to place her on the bed before she grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugging so that he laid back on the mattress. She quickly climbed on top of him. “If there’s one thing I know about us, we are ideal intimate partners. Our sexual chemistry is astronomical.”

His eyes drank her in. “Is that it?”

“Is what it?”

His voice lowered. “Is that all you think we have?”

At that moment, Kaya realized a couple of things. This was wrong. She was suddenly very much uncomfortable. And this was a mistake. This was why she didn’t tell the truth. It meant putting yourself at risk for being vulnerable.

She was never good with that.

Clearing her throat, she climbed off him and flashed a crafty smile. “I’m gonna go shower.” She couldn’t handle seeing his face, so she turned around, purposely pretending she had to look around the room to search for her luggage.

“You should know I hate sleeping with blankets.” Kaya needed to redirect the conversation to another topic. This was becoming all too much for her.

He sat up and rolled his shoulders. “So, strip the bed? Got it.”

“Absolutely not. I could freeze.”

“You just said—”

Kaya stood by the door that led to the living room area and smiled sadly. “I’m a hot ass mess, Chris.” A beat. “The sooner you accept that, the better.”

-------

We need to talk when you get a chance. Please?

No matter how many times she looked at the phone, a new incoming gray message never appeared. She waited and waited, even scrolling up only for it to bounce back with no change.

She missed Nia. She missed their banter. She missed making tik toks with her. And she especially missed the advice giving, of which she could desperately use right about now.

Something was happening between them. With her and Chris. Of which she didn’t know, nor did she understand. It drove her mad because it was a new experience, one where she didn’t feel as though she always had to walk on eggshells.

Being with Chris….

“God.” She ran her hand over her face. What the hell was she doing? She wasn’t with Chris. Not like that, anyway. This was a business transaction. They were both using each other for selfish purposes.

Maybe it was the sex. Nia always warned her that behind every sexual encounter, there was at least some trace of feelings.

Kaya always thought that was bullshit.

Now….now she wasn’t so sure.

“You alright?”

She looked up from her chair and saw Chris walk in. She chewed the inside of her cheek as he sat down in the chair opposite of her. Kaya took in his wardrobe, so casual and laid back. She’d never seen him in denim before, but he looked good.

She didn’t even know the photographer, but she was a fan. A billionaire in Levi’s? Iconic.

“How does it feel to dress like us common folk?”

“Poor.” He winked as she glared. “We should be done soon.”

“Don’t rush on my part. The snacks here are delicious, and who knows, I could play dress up.” She wiggled her brows and straightened when there was a knock on the door.

“Sorry to interrupt,” the photographer spoke up and offered Kaya a friendly smile. “You’re Kaya, yes? I’m Elena.”

Kaya was surprised by the fact that this woman was both speaking to her and actually knew who she was, so her response was delayed. “Yes. It’s nice to meet you.” She offered her hand and noticed the woman was staring at her. Welp. It was nice while it lasted. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized but continued to stare. “It’s just...has anyone ever told you that you have amazing bone structure?”

Kaya sputtered. “Not unless they wanted something from me.”

Elena smiled. “Well, I suppose this is no different.”

“I don’t understand,” Kaya asked, looking over at Chris. He was surprisingly quiet.

“How about we get some shots of the both of you?”

She immediately protested. “Oh no. I—I’m just here for moral support.”

“You did say you wanted to play dress up,” he reminded. She glared. Of course he would choose to speak up now.

She turned her narrowed eyes on him and harshly whispered. “Not while being photographed.”

He placed his hand over hers. “Relax.”

Kaya remembered that they weren’t alone and therefore, had to keep up the act. Even if it was starting to feel less and less like acting.

“I’m used to people watching, not photographing.” He lifted a brow. Laughing, she slapped his chest and took a deep breath. She looked over at Elena. “Will I at least get to see them before you pick which ones to use? If any.”

“Of course.”

Kaya caved. “Fine.” He kissed the top of her head and mouthed a thank you. “You owe me.”

“Sure, I do,” he dismissed, slapping her on her ass as Elena grabbed her to drag her away.

“Time to make magic.”

-----

It was a bad idea, one of many that had occurred, Kaya realized.

When she joked about wanting to play dress—up, she didn’t think that it would actually happen. She didn’t think that she’d become involved in his shoot. Kaya especially didn’t expect to have as much….fun as she did.

And she hated that, too. The fact that she managed to smile and laugh more in one setting than she had in, hell, longer than she could remember. She didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all.

She really, really didn’t like the way Chris looked at her every time she walked onto set in a new look, and there were a couple of them. The way he focused on her, eyes taking in every bit of her form, all the way down from her shoes up to her hair. Like he didn’t want to look away. Like he couldn’t look away. She despised the way he held her when they were photographed together, often being the reason for her smile or laughter with his comments that he whispered into her ear, sneaking in a kiss against her temple or holding her against him.

It was all so domestic and sweet, and it made no sense.

He was starting to make no sense.

And she especially didn’t understand why she was putting off leaving the bathroom, having sat on the toilet for at least 15 minutes.

As if on cue, two loud knocks on the door pulled her from her thoughts.

“I’m coming, damnit.”

“That’s what you said last time. Come on, Kaya.” She was both surprised and annoyed that it was Chris. She expected it to be members of the glam team that he’d hired to help her prepare for the GQ function he was invited to, and of course, she was forced to accompany him. Turns out he wasn’t just chosen for the cover. He was man of the year. “We’re going to be late.”

“Maybe you should just leave me behind,” she muttered.

“Maybe I can just kick this damn door down,” he countered.

“Then you’ll have to pay for the damages.”

“Then I’ll buy the damn hotel,” he shot back testily. “I’m not going to ask you again, Kaya.”

She scowled and rolled her neck. Kaya knew he was being serious. The bastard could buy his way out of anything.

If only….

Blowing out a deep breath, she swallowed and stood, holding up her dress. It was undoubtedly beautiful, gold, a slit in the middle of her chest and on her left leg exposing more skin than she would have thought appropriate. Her curls were styled in a fancy updo, and her makeup was equally as bold as her dress, finalized with a red lip. She knew that she looked good, and that’s what scared her.

Chris had been looking at her like that all day, and she couldn’t keep handling it.

If she could even consider it handling. Managing was perhaps a better term. Poorly managing was the perfect term.

Kaya ripped open the door and plastered on a fake smile. “Happy?”

And there it was, his eyes widened and softened as he gave her a onceover. “And don’t tell me I look beautiful, cause’ I already know it.”

Kaya figured if she said it for him, she wouldn’t have to deal with the weird and uncomfortable knotting in her stomach that she experienced every time he complimented her.

And it worked, he said nothing, only helping to hold up her dress as they walked to the SUV that would escort them. In the car, she was also pleasantly surprised that he didn’t attempt to make small talk with her during the drive. She was certain, however, that it was because he took at least three different work calls during that time.

She made drafted Tik Toks in the meantime.

When they finally arrived, Kaya nearly ran out of the car right then and there.

“Is that a red carpet?” Her mouth dropped. “What the hell? You said nothing about having to walk a damn carpet that is red.”

He chuckled. Kaya realized his hand was on the exposed portion of her thigh. “Stay close to me, and I’ll take care of you. You’ll be fine.”

Kaya was used to having eyes on her, but that didn’t mean she liked it, especially when it didn’t involve money being thrown her way. “I don’t have to say anything, do I?”

He squeezed her thigh. “You’ll most likely receive compliments.”

“I can handle that,” she spoke more to herself than him. “Just long as no one asks if I prefer cats over dogs or whatever shit they ask.”

He laughed quietly and looked at her. “You ready?”

No. “Yes.”

Chris climbed out the car first so that he could help her out of the vehicle, and as soon as she stepped out, she cursed to herself. There were so many damn people. People taking photographs. People being photographed. People helping both the people the photographed and the photographers. And then there was her. She felt so out of place.

If he wasn’t already holding her hand, she would have grabbed for his.

Kaya used her left hand to hold up her dress, while making sure that she stayed close to Chris who led the way, smiling for the camera while sparing her glances every so often to assess her level of comfort.

Kaya played along, evoking a smile as she posed with him for a few photos. That’s when it started again. Like the photoshoot from a few hours ago, she found herself feeling less forced and more comfortable. Like, it was natural.

Like it was real.

Kaya was eventually allowed to stand to the side as he gave a few interviews, some in English, most in Italian. She’d meant to ask him earlier when the hell he learned to speak so many languages. This was the third she’d learned of. She had a feeling at least one or two journalists asked about her, because he would look in her direction and shoot a wink or something of the sort.

Her smile was a natural reaction.

The process was less daunting than she anticipated, not that she’d ever admit that to him. It was once they moved inside that Kaya realized they’d yet to reach the hard part. That hardest part was “socializing” with the guests, many of which were white, spicy white at best. She spotted some minorities but found that they were just as distant as the rest.

The vim of the event was welcoming, however, which confused Kaya to some extent. She simplified it down to the event was nice, the people were trash, and Chris was both an ass and a gentleman for forcing her to come.

He’d introduced her to a few people, most of which spoke poor English. That, she could acknowledge, was nice. Not the strained English, but his obvious concern for her wellbeing. He was going out of his way to make her feel as comfortable as he could.

It was also irritating because it resurfaced those damn knots.

They were seated at a table, and he was texting someone when she leaned over and tugged on his sleeve. Kaya also took a moment to appreciate how nice he looked. The man was something sinful in a suit. “I think I know him.”

He looked up, immediately locking his phone. “Who?”

She gestured with her chin. “The guy over there talking to the girl with the green dress. But don’t look at them.”

His eyes lifted to the ceiling. Right before he proceeded to look right in that direction.

She laughed despite her irritation. “What did I literally just fucking say?”

“I’ll never understand why people want to do something without actually doing it. I don’t have the time.” She shook her head. He was so impatient. “And how do you know him?”

She lifted a brow. He asked with a newfound sense of urgency. If she didn’t know any better, she would have guessed it came from a place of jealousy.

Kaya studied the stranger across the room again when her eyes widened. “I know. He’s that actor from that porn movie we watched.”

“We don’t watch porn, Kaya. We make it.”

“Stop it.” She leaned closer, hating that her smile contrasted the frustration she felt with how vulgar he was speaking in such a public setting. “And you know the movie where they…..ya know, basically the whole time, and he kept asking in that godawful delivery, are you lost, baby girl?”

Her equally terrible impression caused him to laugh quietly. “I think that is him.”

“I told you.” She spoke a little louder than she would have liked due to her excitement at being correct. “He looks better on screen.”

Chris glanced over at him once more and scoffed. “He’s scrawny.”

“Sir, not everyone is like you and built like a fucking tanker.”

“Not my problem.”

Kaya rolled her eyes and gathered her dress. “I’ll be back. I have to use the restroom.” She stood and leaned over, arms around him from behind as she whispered. “Try not to be too much of a dick while I’m gone, okay?”

He turned to look at her. “And where’s the fun in that?”

Turns out finding the bathroom was a harder task than she’d anticipated. She’d asked one of the servers while maneuvering through the crowd, but it also turned out that Kaya wasn’t the best with directions. She did find it, though.

Eventually.

Kaya was navigating her way back to Chris when she was stopped by a man in a suit along the way.

He was of average height, average build, and average attraction. She was immediately annoyed.

“Hi,” Kaya greeted with a tight smile.

“Hello,” he smiled. Add in average dental health. “You are very beautiful.”

Kaya realized he didn’t have an accent, either. American, most likely. “Uhh, thank you.” When she moved to walk past him, he blocked her. “Sir, I really should—”

“How much?”

Her eyes darted to either side. “I’m sorry?”

“Money is no issue, as I’m sure you can see, and I’d like you for a week.” He stepped closer, bringing his hand to trail it down her arm. “Longer even, perhaps.”

“Sir, I have no idea what you are talking about, and please do not touch me.” It wasn’t so much of a request as much as it was a demand. “Now, I really should—”

“You’re not American.” Kaya continued to be confused as hell when his eyes lit up with excitement. “That explains why you look so exotic.” Confusion easily morphed into rage as she finally caught on to what he was referring to. “I bet you feel di—”

“You’re disgusting,” she hissed, pulling away from him. “I am not a fucking prostitute—”

“Call it what you want, girl,” he dismissed. “I don’t judge. I can pay you well.”

“Go fuck yourself, you sick son of a bitch,” she cursed, turning away when he grabbed her arm. “Let me go.”

“You think that you’re special?” He’d taken on another tone, one that conveyed his anger at being rejected. “The fuckin’ stall I just pissed in is worth more than you, bitch.”

Kaya refused to allow him to see her cry, but she’d be lying if she tried to say that his words didn’t sting, especially his next verbal attack.

“You can slap on that expensive dress and let Hemsworth make you feel special, but I know, you know, and everyone else in this fucking place knows that you’re nothing but a cheap, illegal whore—” Panic arose when he moved his hand to the exposed skin of her thigh, squeezing tightly. His hand started to inch upward when Kaya acted on instinct. He cursed aloud while Kaya gasped as she realized that she’d silenced him with her fist dead square in the middle of his face. “You fucking bitch!”

Shock and fear took over as Kaya gathered the bottom of her dress and ran, as much as the gown and her heels would allow, that is. Certain he was going to chase her for retribution, she consistently looked back, unaware that she needed to be just as aware of what was in front as what was behind.

She shrieked and immediately went to pull herself away from the strong body she’d collided with.

“Kaya.” Refocusing her attention, she looked up and realized it was Chris. “Where the hell—” He stopped amid his statement when he took in her appearance and realized that she was crying. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Kaya looked down, speaking more to herself than him. Not that it mattered. He was judging based on what he saw instead of what she said. He’d learned by now that her words rarely matched the truth. “Let’s just go—”

“Kaya,” he repeated, softer. Chris brought his hands to her face, forcing her to meet his gaze as he asked again, slowly. “What happened?” A strike of anger flashed in his blue eyes. “Did someone touch you?”

“No,” she answered, quickly. Too quickly.

The anger escalated exponentially. “Who? Tell me.”

Kaya could have slapped herself. She wasn’t helping the situation. She was making it worse. “It doesn’t matter, I hit him, and now he’s probably going to sue you—”

“Where is he?” Chris was looking behind her, eyes flaming. He was livid. “Show me. Now.”

“No.” Speaking was becoming an increasing challenge, especially against the backdrop of overwhelming emotions. Everything she’d been feeling, preventing herself from feeling, and afraid to acknowledge was gradually bubbling to the surface. “Just—just let me go back to the hotel. I’m messing everything up for you.”

He calmed for a second, realizing what was happening. Chris was unfamiliar with this side of her. Unfamiliar with seeing her so vulnerable. “What?”

Kaya suddenly realized that her eyes were burning again. She was fighting back tears. “I’ll give you back the money for the day, it’s—it’s fine, you’re better off without me here—”

Her offer to pay him incensed Chris. This wasn’t about the money. It stopped being about the money a long time ago, even if he hadn’t realized that until today. “I don’t want the fucking money, Kaya.”

She shook her head and closed her eyes. “Don’t—don’t say that.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“Please,” she plead. Control over her emotions was a battle she’d all but lost at that point. Her words, she was certain, would be next.

He raised his voice. Chris sensed, saw that she was uncomfortable, but he also realized that this was what she needed. A push. “Why?”

“Because this all about the fucking money, okay?” She matched his volume, accepting that her tears were going to fall no matter how much she willed them not to. She’d lost the war. “It has to be about the money, because if it isn’t then that means you care, and—you can’t, alright?”

He studied her, wondering if she realized this conversation was difficult for him too. He brought his hand to the side of her face. “Why is it so impossible for you to accept that I fucking care about you?”

She looked up, glistening eyes and wavering voice. “Because then I have to admit that I care about you too, and I can’t do that.” She spoke to herself, as if vocalizing it would cement a decision that was already out of her hands. “I won’t do it.”

“Why?” He pressed. Chris brought his other hand to the other side of her face, cupping it and moving closer. He gave zero fucks about where they were and who could have possibly overheard. “Why are you fighting this so hard?”

She pulled herself away from him, back colliding against the wall as she blurted, “because all I do is hurt the people I care about alright?” In that moment, Kaya realized she was so far gone that the point of return was no longer an option. Her mouth trembled as she struggled to form her next sentence, listing off names with her fingers as props. “Mami, Papi, Nia. Hell, my own brother is dead because of me.” A beat. “I’ll only hurt you, and I care about you too much to do that.”

“Kaya—"

A newfound heaviness started to weigh upon her chest, another blockade to her speech. “I’m standing here in a dress I can’t afford, a building I can’t even fucking pronounce, and with a man I don’t deserve.”

His voice lowered. “Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, I don’t deserve you?” Kaya looked at him, her eyes softening before she squinted, her face scrunching up in obvious pain.

He took note of this. As invested as Chris was in finally getting Kaya to open up about how she really felt, her wellbeing would always be his primary concern.

“Kaya.” He placed his hands on her waist, steadying her. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” She blinked several times, blinding lights obscuring her vision. “I—can’t—" Kaya felt the firmness of his chest, inhaled the scent of his cologne, and heard her name on his lips before everything faded to black.

-----

She awoke on her side, body clutched against a pillow, and a thin sheet covering half her body. Never one to take her time returning to her senses, she forced herself to sit up, eyes still scrunched from the sleep.

Looking down she realized she was dressed in only one of Chris’s dress shirts, her dress discarded.

Memory returned as Kaya replayed the events that transpired prior to her slumber. The photoshoot. The party. The asshole.

Chris.

“I don’t care. Tell them to send it in the mail or something.”

She recognized his voice traveling from the living room area, prompting her to swing her legs over the bed, her toes submerging into the soft carpet. She’d never been in such a fine hotel where the carpeting probably cost more than six months’ worth of rent on her one-bedroom apartment.

“Evans, I don’t give a flying fuck about any of that right now. You can handle it. I don’t care.”

Kaya contemplated remaining where she was, eavesdropping without being detected. She quickly decided against it. She’d done enough.

Her feet carried her out of the room, and she stood in the doorway where she saw he was standing against the massive window that provided a breathtaking overview of the city.

Again, she considered leaving him be, but he either had exceptional peripheral vision or caught her reflection in the window because he spun around. Kaya’s eyebrows furrowed when she realized he was still dressed in his suit, with the expectation of the jacket and dress shirt which were both discarded, leaving the white undershirt.

Uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her, more concern than that, she settled onto the sofa, pulling a decorative pillow to her chest as she crossed her legs.

“I have to go,” he spoke briefly before pulling the phone from his ear and hanging up.

Kaya swallowed. He’d yet to speak, so she took the opportunity to do so. “Still don’t believe me when I said I’m a hot mess?”

“What happened tonight, Kaya?”

“Which part?” She knew that playing coy wasn’t the best route, but she was forever stubborn and would fight until she had nothing left. “Where I ruined your evening, assaulted a millionaire, told you one of my deepest secrets, or fainted in your arms? There’s a lot.”

“All of it.”

She looked away and licked her lips. Kaya felt cornered, absolutely trapped. Emotionally. She’d always assumed being physically stuck would feel far more suffocating and frightening. She was wrong.

Kaya considered her options, though far and few in between. She could deflect. She was a master at that. She could redirect blame onto him. Call him out on even making her go on the trip, for not telling her ahead of time what to expect, maybe throw in a few insults. And lastly, the most frightening of them all, she could be honest.

That was the scariest of them all.

“I lied to you.” The words spilled out before she realized it, but Kaya accepted the fact that she was tired. There was only so much she could carry, and she’d reached her limits. “My—my parents aren’t dead. They still live in the same house in Parlier that I grew up in with Denes. He’s—he was my brother.” It felt strange talking about, verbalizing what she’d quietly struggled with for so many years. And yet, there was a peace that accompanied the release. “He was such a beautiful little boy, but….different. He didn’t talk much, life skills were….hard for him, and he had these fixations on certain things. He didn’t like change.”

“Kaya, you don’t—”

“When I was eleven, and he was eight, my parents found out they were pregnant. They’d been trying for so long….they were so happy.” She roughly wiped at her face to do away with the silent tears that fell. The crying, however, was inevitable. “One day, they had a checkup appointment, and the babysitter fell through, so they asked me to watch Denes.” She nodded slowly, reverting to the same rush of emotions she felt that day. “I was so….mad, because my friend had just gotten Guitar Hero, and I was supposed to walk down to her house so we could play it.” To that day, Kaya felt a strong surge of rage whenever she ran across a throwback picture or read an article referring to that game. It was a trigger.

“My parents promised that I could go when they returned, but I just couldn’t wait.” Her nose turned up with disgust, disgust directed 100% inward. “I just had to go play that stupid fucking game.”

“Denes loved birds. They were one of his fixations. They think—they think he saw one outside our living room window or something and walked outside to see if he could catch it because, of course, I forgot to lock the front door.” She stared off into space before closing her eyes. “I had just walked into my friend’s house when I heard someone scream like I’ve never heard a scream before.” Kaya tugged the pillow closer to her chest and lowered her head. “I ran back so fast because I thought—I thought I could help him. I thought I could save him.” Her voice cracked. “—But there was so much blood, and he was so hurt—he died in the middle of the street, bleeding, terrified, and it was all my fault.”

Chris closed his eyes and shook his head. “Kaya—”

“They never found the driver,” she added quietly, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “The shock of it all……it was too much for my mom, and she miscarried.” Kaya laughed, but there wasn’t a trace of humor. “I spiraled after Denes passed. Everything bad and terrible I could get myself into, I did. I—I skipped class, I partied, I drank, I tried drugs.” She scoffed. “I lost my virginity when I was thirteen to some guy whose name I still don’t know because I was so drunk.” She leaned back into the sofa, staring at the intricate pattern of the rug. “I just—at the time, I thought if I did enough, I could make my parents hate me, because it’s what I deserved. But for everything I tried, they kept giving me chance after chance.”

“So, then I attempted suicide, twice, and I couldn’t even do that right.” She groaned and wiped at her eyes again. The cuffs of the shirt were nearly soaked. “I realized that God or the universe or whomever clearly wanted me to suffer and to live with my guilt, but in the midst of trying to punish myself, I failed to realize that all I’d done was cause my parents more pain.”

“Day of my high school graduation, I woke up at the crack of dawn to pack up my bags, told my parents that I was going out with some friends, but I’d be home by 7—and I haven’t seen or spoken with them since.”

She clapped and lifted her hands. “And there you have it. You’ve now seen me naked; you’ve seen me cry, and now you know that I’m a murderer—”

“You’re not a murderer, Kaya,” he was finally able to complete his sentence, still very much in shock over what she’d disclosed. “And what happened to your brother wasn’t your fault.”

Chris watched her demeanor soften, shifting from her previous facetious tone to a more somber tone. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m saying it because it’s the truth. You were a child.”

She shrugged sadly. “So was he.”

“That still doesn’t make it your fault.”

She turned away from where he sat across from her. She hadn’t even realized he’d moved from his initial position by the window. Untangling her legs, she moved the pillow to the side and stood in front of him. “Why are you so nice to me? You should be running for the hills.”

Chris brought his hands to her waist and pulled her in between his spread legs. “Why do you keep asking questions you already know the answers to?”

“Even after everything I’ve done?” She whispered, emotion betraying her for the umpteenth time that day. “You—you still—you still feel….like that about me?”

“You’re stubborn, impulsive, argumentative, flippant, and undoubtedly one of the most complicated women I’ve ever met.” He slowly stood up, never once breaking eye contact as he cupped her face, fingers brushing away the dampness of her flushed cheeks. “And yet, seeing you smile is the highlight of my day.”

She chuckled and nervously cleared her throat. “So, was today subpar? Like, medium light? Half-light? It all went downhill after 12pm.”

He shook his head and kissed her forehead. “You are, in fact, a hot mess.”

Her fingers grasped at his sleeves. “I really am sorry about ruining your evening.”

“You didn’t ruin my evening, Kaya.” He brought his hand to her hair, pushing back the tendrils that had fallen from her updo. “Thank you for opening to me. I know that wasn’t easy.”

“It’s a lot easier opening up my legs,” she muttered, watching as he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry—you’re right. It’s—it’s not easy, and I don’t like talking about….feelings.” Her eyes lifted as she chewed on her bottom lip. “But, I do have feelings for you.” She shut her eyes and licked her top lip. “And there’s something else I need to tell you.”

His gaze softened. “Anything.”

It was so simple, the opportunity was available, the setting was perfect. She’d already told him the hardest part, now all she had to do was tell him the rest. The problem though, was that what she’d shared hadn’t changed much. It only helped him to understand her better. It would potentially improve their relationship.

This would destroy it.

She cleared her throat again. “If you tell anyone I’m capable of crying, I will smother you in your sleep.”

He chuckled and kissed her temple. “It’s late. I’m going to shower.” He studied her. “Try not to get into any more trouble, yeah?”

She smiled softly. “I make no promises.”

He gave her side a gentle squeeze before yawning as he walked back into the bedroom. Finally alone, she fell back onto the sofa and hugged the pillow against her body. Kaya felt both disgust and frustration. If there was a perfect moment to tell him, that was it, and now it was gone.

She was running out of time

-------

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