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#nobody else talked about the family stuff yet so I guess that I will lmao
buccellato · 10 months
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We're at one of my favorite parts of the story (and probably one of Vash's least favorite parts 😬😬), where we get to see how much Vash's family means to him
In book 1 of trimax, the Doc tells Brad that Vash's concept of family extends to the entirety of the human race
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...So a Man revenge-killing a murderer isn't just 2 humans committing various levels of violence against each other (at differing levels of justifiable), it's 2 families members hurting each other and Vash can't bring himself to not try and stop it. Even if you understand *why* they fight, you probably wouldn't want your cousins to kill each other in front of you, right? And Vash struggles with it, because some of these people he's saving really do deserve the bullet reserved for them; but at the end of the day he still doesn't want to watch them to die.
And over the course of volume 1 and 2 of trimax, the story repeatedly brings up the question (either overtly or through subtext) "What would you do if you your family was in danger? What lengths would you go?"
Which leads us to the first big fight for this question when Vash's actual, closest living thing to a loving family is under attack. His anguish is palpable to everyone alive in the room with him, his wrath is close to deadly, and every new room he finds with more puppets just hurts him further. But even when he's faced with a monster that has destroyed his one vestige of safety in the world, even if that monster has talked about how he wants to do the same to him, he still can't bring himself to kill him! He even goes so far to try and spare him!
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Not because of any specific moral reasoning (even though he's given one to Dominique before), but because before he was Leonof the Puppetmaster, he was a little boy named Emilio that loved his father's bread and had a crush on a girl named Isabel. He was someone that Vash knew, someone he recognized, and someone he undoubtedly cared for greatly at one point. And even if he couldn't save him, he at least had to try, because he was family at one point too.
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And of course, it's not all pain and suffering for Vash, because when he wakes up in the hospital ready to blame himself for not being able to save everyone, Luida cuts him off: He did the best he could, he saved lives despite the losses, and at the end of the day he's still family to them, too. Even if the rest of humanity views him as a menace, there's still someone out there who reciprocates his love in a way that doesn't hurt him.
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And boy, you can see how much of a relief (and source of stress it is for him) on his face lmao
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queenhellwitch · 1 year
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the angry one
Sam is emotionally intelligent and can't hide his feelings from his own eyeballs, but I actually think he's more repressed than Dean. He encourages Dean to open up, but Dean won’t share with his little brother, because it’s his job to be strong. However - Dean does share, with other people. And he punches heads in, shoots the crap out of stuff, he drinks beer, he gets laid. He cries and gets angry and violent, and he takes it out on people. He’s very emotionally expressive.
Sam, on the other hand, keeps it all in. Half a laugh, half a cursory smile, the endless “I’m fine!”s… The only time he really opens up and starts to talk about what he actually experienced, is to Rowena. He doesn’t even get to have a go at Chuck, in the same way Dean does. Even when he shoots Chuck, it literally bites back. Sam lives a life of self-flagellation and penance, and when he dares to allow himself any action, reaction or even pleasures, his decisions always come with a ton of guilt. Even when he’s right.
Jared does an amazing job of showing us his true emotions with just his eyeballs, but nailing the very obvious repression. It’s amazing, really.
Yet - guess who gets accused of being angry, self-righteous, hubristic and selfish, by the fandom, by so many people in the show, and even labelled “not exactly Mr Anger Management” by his own father figure? That boy was actually too good at managing his anger. But he’ll never be viewed that way, because he’s already been put in that pigeonhole with his family. He always was the “deep little son of a bitch”. Bobby says John would rather “push Sam away than reach out to him.” Kids who are hard to understand end up being difficult. As if being a teenager isn't a ragey experience in itself. John's fear? Was it because of the evil in his veins? Or just because he was stubborn? Because he yelled at his dad? He stood his ground against the abuse, he ran away, he went to college despite being disowned for it?
In Mystery Spot, Sam is without Dean for six months and he goes psychotically revenge-driven. He cuts himself off from all other humans, and he stews in his own anger. Yet when he’s faced with the Trickster, it’s clear that despite his obvious emotions, this is a man fully in control when he needs to be. I think we forget this, when the same thing happens again at the end of Season 7. A Sam without Dean is not a stable person. Add all the hell trauma he’s suffered and the loss of Bobby – the father figure who never saw him outside that pigeonhole of ‘the angry one’ – Sam is completely alone, and not by choice.
Again, he could easily be angry. He has every right to be raving mad and on a destructive revenge trip, like he did in season 4. When Dean and Cas disappear to purgatory, he chooses to not be angry. He chooses not to be hubristic this time; because where did that get him before? Actual hell, actually. Against all that we know about Sam, and his love for his brother, he controls himself, he chooses to step away, from a dismal fucking world that only seems to bite him, and his loved ones, on the ass - no matter what he does. So he removes himself. He just drives (and then later becomes unhinged because that's my headcanon lmao).
And it turns out that was wrong too. He never gets across to Dean or to anyone else what his thought processes were, though, and nobody ever really knows the real Sam, the one who leaks through when the emotions are dialled down, when they can finally both just rest. It breaks my heart.
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batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG
dick
dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it
dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao
dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time
Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN
everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets
jason
would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip
him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge
tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.
jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost
cassandra
it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship
she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)
cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.
duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.
damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going
tim
tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.
listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.
tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.
tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.
tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian
duke
very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.
was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.
cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).
tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.
damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.
damian
damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf
listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).
Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.
DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.
CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.
Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers
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gamerwoo · 3 years
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[The Pack Next Door] Wooyoung: Sorry Not Sorry (Part One)
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(photo edit courtesy of @songmingki​)
Characters: Wooyoung x female reader
Genre/warnings: werewolf au, brother’s best friend au, not really fluffy but there’s no angst until the very end
Word count: 1,788
Summary: Everyone knows that werewolves can’t control who they imprint on, no matter what they think their preferences might be. But despite that, Jongho can’t help but absolutely loathe Wooyoung because the older boy went and imprinted on his older sister.
a/n: reader is obviously written to be older than jongho so if you dont like that bc it doesn’t apply to you, im sorry but oh well. also i don’t have any sort of update schedule so updates are gonna be way slower than they were for mingi’s lmao
Next | Sorry Not Sorry Masterlist
For a long time, Wooyoung was just your younger brother’s annoying friend. You were three years older than Jongho, so while you weren’t too far apart in age, you were just far enough that while growing up, you found your younger brother and his best friend absolutely annoying and obnoxious. And it seemed to be one of Wooyoung’s favorite activities was annoying you or pranking you with your brother.
Eventually, the three of you were grown-up enough that Jongho and Wooyoung didn’t bother you as often. You both were still in school -- you in high school while the pair was just starting middle since Wooyoung ended up staying back a year in grade school -- and while you did often see Wooyoung around your house during afternoons and weekends, his presence didn’t annoying you nearly as much as it used to. 
It wasn’t until Jongho was 15 and Wooyoung was 16 that you realized just how accustomed you’d gotten to having Wooyoung around, because you stopped seeing him. He was no longer on the couch with your brother, yelling at the video games they’d play on the TV after school. You no longer walked into the kitchen to see him rummaging through your fridge like he was in his own house. Wooyoung just...stopped coming around.
And Jongho was noticeably sadder, too.
“What happened to Jung Wooyoung?” you had asked him after about a week of no sign of your brother’s best friend.
Jongho sighed, looking more depressed than ever after hearing you mention his best friend since childhood, “He was sent away.”
“Sent away?” you repeated with furrowed brows. “Where? Why?”
“His parents said they sent him away to an all-boys school because he was acting out,” he explained.
Maybe Wooyoung acted differently at his own home than he did at your house, but you didn’t think the younger boy acted out at all. Maybe when he was a child, but he’d been fine the last 5-ish years. It didn’t make sense to you, but then again, you didn’t know Wooyoung very well.
However, you didn’t know it, but you were right. Wooyoung hadn’t been acting out at all. His parents wouldn’t tell anybody, but they’d actually kicked Wooyoung out of their home and sent him away to live with his uncle whom they’d disowned from their family because he was a werewolf.
And so was Wooyoung.
Wooyoung had gone missing for about three of those days that he wasn’t around your house. It was something most teenagers who first shifted would do, unsure what else to do after becoming a giant wolf. His parents had a feeling what had happened since his father had seen it happen with his brother. When Wooyoung had eventually returned, his parents confronted him about what happened, and the poor boy was immediately shunned and sent away. But when Jongho went to ask, they lied and said he went to a different school far away now.
Jongho was sure without any type of contact with his best friend, he’d never see Wooyoung again.
But you never thought much of him again. Jongho did eventually make new friends, and while he didn’t talk about him often anymore, he did think of Wooyoung every now and then, recalling the good times they had and wondering what he was doing with his new life. But you carried on with your life, eventually going off to college and only seeing Jongho when you went back home to visit. 
There was one instance where Jongho had come to you at your apartment, though. He was sweaty and out of breath, seeming panicked. His eyes were a scary crimson that had you gasping and stepping back from him, unsure why they looked like that. But he kept saying he didn’t know where to go or what to do.
That was when you found out Jongho was a werewolf. You weren’t sure what to do with that information, either, but you helped him go to your parents with the information. Your mother had said her great grandfather was one, but they weren’t sure if anyone else in their family would get what they expected to be the werewolf gene. But thankfully, they were accepting and went to your grandmother for some help and advice.
During his time in college, Jongho had found some new friends that he started living off campus with. They seemed to make him happy, and he spoke about them like they were family. He had confirmed they were his pack, and you were happy that he managed to find them. You thought it was sweet that your brother had new friends in college that he cared about and who seemed to care about him, as well.
“Oh, and hey, do you remember Jung Wooyoung?” Jongho asked while he was first gushing about his friends.
“That little twerp you were friends with since forever?” you chuckled. 
“Yeah,” he laughed. “Well, he's in it too! He lives with them!”
Your eyebrows raised in surprised, “Wow. It’s been years since you’ve seen him.”
“I know!”
“It’s like you two were meant to be brothers this whole time,” you told him with a laugh. “That’s kind of crazy. Fate’s really amazing, huh...”
“You should come visit sometime. I think you’ll really like the guys. Hongjoong’s really cool, and Yunho’s pretty goofy but he’s sweet. San’s kinda flirty but he’s really nice and stuff when you get to know him. I think you’ll get along well with Seonghwa and Yeosang, honestly.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“Because you were always no fun growing up,” he teased.
But you did eventually go visit your brother. It had been a little while since you’d seen him anyway, so you figured why not. Besides, he seemed really excited about his pack and especially getting to reconnect with his childhood best friend. Honestly, you were a little bit curious to see how Wooyoung grew up.
What you didn’t expect when you arrived was to see Jung Wooyoung for the first time since you were in high school, and see him as so much more than just your little brother’s annoying friend.
Jung Wooyoung had grown up to be more handsome than you could’ve even imagined if you’d ever bothered to remember him. As soon as your eyes landed on him as he walked out the door to catch up with the pack while your brother excitedly greeted you from the driveway, you felt a massive crush on him hit you. And if this was what your grandmother had told you, Jongho, and your parents about, this was something more serious than just a human crush.
For Wooyoung, his entire world stopped. All he saw was you in his vision, everyone and everything else falling away. His heart was beating out of his chest, his palms suddenly felt clammy, and he had the strong urge to run right up to you and just wrap you up in his arms.
He had imprinted on his childhood best friend’s sister.
Thankfully, with Jongho’s excitement to introduce you to the pack, he hadn’t picked up on that. However, the same couldn’t be said for the pack. Seonghwa easily noticed, Hongjoong had a very strong suspicion, and Yeosang thought it was so painfully obvious that he couldn’t believe that Jongho didn’t realize when he had re-introduced the two of you and you finally had to properly acknowledge each other.
Yunho was the only one who didn’t notice, thinking that was just how Wooyoung was. He was very flirty with, well, just about anybody. So the older boy didn’t have reason to think anything of it.
But it was silently decided that nobody would tell Jongho about it. Neither you nor Wooyoung knew how to tell him. Jongho had become very protective of you ever since becoming a werewolf, so not only were you afraid of possibly upsetting him, but Wooyoung definitely was. Not only was Jongho his brother now, but they had been best friends since they could remember, and they had finally reuinted. He didn’t want to ruin their relationship, and neither did you. And since neither of you ever said anything, the rest of the pack knew it wasn’t their place.
Eventually, another werewolf came into the picture: Song Mingi. He was tall, a little awkward, but very sweet and funny. He had imprinted on his best friend, Aera, who he hadn’t told yet and insisted everyone associated with the pack never speak of it to her -- that included you. You weren’t at the pack house often -- Wooyoung would simply sneak out to visit you at your apartment because that was way easier -- but you were glad that Mingi’s situation overshadowed your own. The less attention on you and Wooyoung, the better.
Until Mingi ended up telling Aera, and then someone had to go and open their big, stupid mouth and ruin everything for you.
Jongho had invited you over for dinner to sort of ‘celebrate’ Mingi finally telling Aera after however many years that she was his mate. They, like Jongho and Wooyoung, had grown up together and were best friends throughout their whole lives. You were shocked Mingi managed to keep his secret for so long, but you were happy for him that he finally told her. Besides, Aera was always so laid back and relaxed. You figured she’d be fine with the whole situation.
“I still can’t believe you made a mistake that stupid,” you chuckled as the pack launched joke after joke toward Mingi’s lapse of thought which caused Aera to find out. “Even I know to be more careful than that.”
“Yeah, but you have family that’ve been telling you about werewolves since Jongho was in high school,” Mingi pouted. “My parents still don’t even know.”
“Guess they’re next on the list of people to tell,” Yeosang joked lightly, knowing Mingi was getting a little grumpy from all the teasing.
Yunho snorted before laughing, “Where are Wooyoung and _____ on that list?”
However, the joke that was meant to lighten the mood only made it worse. The air seemed to thicken almost immediately as everyone but the oblivious werewolf froze, eyes unsure if they wanted to look at you, Wooyoung, Jongho, or just continue staring at the table. It was so silent after Yunho’s laughter turned awkward and then quickly died down that even you could’ve heard a pin drop from outside. But after what felt like an eternity of just dead silence, something finally broke it that made you wish you’d continued to just sit in the quiet.
“What?” Jongho asked sharply.
From the end of the table, you heard Mingi mumble, “What was that about stupid mistakes?”
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depreshroom · 3 years
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Analyzing Krel, episode 1.
The titles a work not-in-progress. So, for once in my life I’m actually doing something that I said I’d do. Look at that! Me watching over my son Krel! I promise I do NOT hate Coranda, Fialkov, or Aja lmao. Again, this is just stuff I noticed and wanted to point out. I’d like to think it makes sense, but then again...maybe it doesn’t. Under the cut because it’s probably long af.
To start off, Krel is a very complicated character in the sense that he’s not only different from literally everybody else, but in the way he expresses himself, his relationship with his parents and other things that I will hopefully later type out.
Beginning from episode 1, we start off with him y’know doing his little tech genius thing over there before his coronation and a few things did happen to stick out to me. 
For one, as his father comes in to discuss that Aja has left, Krel is in no way shocked, surprised or even the slightest bit of hurt that we know of. Instead he seems closer to the side of simply accepting of it. Even if he did seem a little exasperated. Yes, we do know that he receives this news constantly but then again, coronation was no ordinary day even before the coup. It was their SHARED coronation for goodness sake. Knowing Krel, that seems like it would be a bigger deal. He even knows the drill when his father comes to it.
“It’s fine she is a... free spirit.” Would definitely like to note that he says that “it’s fine, she is a..” automatically. He’s done this a million times before, it’s cool. But immediately after that he pauses for a split second, which leads me to assume that this is a moment where Krel is questioning one of two things. (Or even both.)
Either a) he’s trying to find a reason why it is fine, why on this day in particular it’s justified that he’s alone in this, in his life and future really, because it’s fine obviously or b) he’s questioning if her being a free spirit actually is fine. Why should he be alone simply because Aja is this “free spirit” huh? She can be both as Queen. 
But, nonetheless he goes through with what he was saying. After discussing this he continues on to have this conversation with his father:
“One day, you will be king, your mother and I will be gone, and you and Aja will be all the other has.”
“What if i’m not ready to be a king?”
“Of course you’re not ready to be a king. No one ever is.”
“What I mean is, what if I’m not good enough?”
“If I know anything, my son, it is that life is a series of choices, it’s what we choose in small moments that makes these choices better or worse. You will not face these choices alone because you will always have your family, even your sister.”
I have so many thoughts about this Fialkov...oh my god.
Starting off with this, “One day, you will be king, your mother and I will be gone, and you and Aja will be all the other has.”
FIRST OF ALL, what a terrible thing to bring up as a conversation starter. My baby boy just sitting there minding his business, a little bummed bout his sister but mostly alright, and this man just comes up and talks about how lonely he’ll be with Aja, his sister who is currently runniing away. Like, dang I imagine I wouldn’t feel too good after that either. Especially if that’s what hyping me up to become ruler of a planet is supposed to be. So, of course I wouldn’t think it’d be too unexpected when Krel asks about being king.
Krel, probably not reassured, goes on to say:“What if i’m not ready to be a king?”
What I find interesting about this is that Fialkov was discussing death, he was talking about Krel having nobody but his sister. Yet, what Krel asked in return was if he was ready, no--he said “what if i'm not”.  Generally, Krel isn’t portrayed as somebody with low confidence but that’s because he was in his element. What’s so important about the first episode in any show is that it gives us insight to who the character was beforehand. This isn’t the same Krel we see even later in this episode. Later in this exact episode, Krel was confident enough to fix an akiridion ship. A crashing ship. That was being shot at. Upside down. Being driven by Zadra. 
-Krel “‘why is Aja’s bounty higher than mine’ as he nearly goes unconscious from a punch to the nose by Steve” Tarron could hang upside down whilst fixing a crashing akiridion ship and be shot at at the same time. And that, my friend, was simply because he was in his element. However, when we look at him talking to his father about being king, all that pride seems as if it didn’t even exist, as if it was never there to begin with. 
I’ll get back to this a few times too as I go through the episodes. Actually here how about this, a dash (-) means something that will be referenced again.
Even worse as we move through this conversation is that Fialkov tells him that of course he isn’t ready. I-this sounds like he’s really trying to be helpful but also not adjusting the situation to his own son. It’s like hitting the wounded. Krel is already on edge, only to be told that he’s not ready because nobody is ever ready. May I ask, what is that information going to do for him? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
-Krel, once again, proving my assumption that he’s not reassured, rephrases it: “What I mean is, what if I’m not good enough?”
-That’s a vital question. While yes, throughout the show Krel shows his moment’s of confidence, once again, this is the part of Krel we started out with. The funny thing is that although it was in reference to becoming King, the part about King isn’t tacked onto the sentence. Without the context, this question is simply “what if I’m not good enough?” Why isn’t Krel asking specifically about King, even more fascinating, as we’ll later explore Krel seems to have a complicated relationship with his parents. And Krel isn’t talking to anybody but his father, he’s pleading for validation. And honestly he needs it because at this point, he’s alone.
And finally the last line: “If I know anything, my son, it is that life is a series of choices, it’s what we choose in small moments that makes these choices better or worse. You will not face these choices alone because you will always have your family, even your sister.”
Fialkov tells Krel that the small choices in life are what matters the most. He will not face these choices alone because he always has his family… I’m sorry but did he not JUST SAY that he and Coranda would die one day? And yes he says that he will even have his sister, but he JUST got done talking about how Aja is a free spirit which apparently means it’s justified for her to run away. Coranda even says at the beginning of episode 1 to a frustrated Fialkov: “You know your daughter, Aja’s spirited.” As if that makes her running away okay, she even says it in a sort-of smile. Most importantly: He didn’t tell Krel that he would and/or be good enough. He didn’t even reference Krel’s question really. Krel never heard those words, never even heard his Papa talk about it. Imagine how this fifteen year old boy, nervous as hell sitting here apparently alone feels when he asks his father “what if he isn’t good enough?” and that question is ignored completely in favor of talking about how it’s alright because he has his family. -That is something that is often shown to hurt Krel, not being recognized but being overlooked for his sister, and in some ways not being good enough. That’s something that affects Krel a lot, and is shown to be something that makes him incredibly upset but happens multiple times. Fialkov avoided the question entirely giving off the impression that Krel is indeed, not good enough.
All together, in that conversation, there’s a pattern here. Fialkov is consistently bringing up the negatives of Krel’s situation. Soon, he’s going to be left with his sister who’s always running away because his parents will one day die which leaves him in charge of everything and he is already at a point where he doesn’t even know if he’s good enough. On top of that, he has to focus on the small moments now because those are the most important apparently. -Not to mention, his father never did tell Krel that he was good enough.
-Immediately after this Krel finishes his invention and exclaims “I did it!” That’s the first time he sounds genuinely excited and surprised. It was something he made by himself and was obviously very proud of despite the fact that he’s a tech extraordinaire. This supposedly comes easy to him, but yet there’s still a shock factor---even if it is small---that he managed it. As if yes, he was trying but he didn’t think actually could do it.
We also see Zadra arrive to tell them that it’s time to go. Krel says that Fialkov should “speak for himself” when saying they’re ready. (Good to see he’s still a smartass.) That’s only before telling himself  “Fine. I’m ready.”, then sees the audience and immediately goes “I guess.” Once again, an act of nervousness and second guessing the entire being “King” thing.
One thing I find incredibly fun to think about is the fact that Krel’s parents insist he smiles and waves no matter what. Walk out to claim your fate for the rest of your hundreds of years? Smile and Wave. Be ripped limb from limb by Vex? Smile and wave. One could assume that’s part of his tendency to bottle up his emotions, especially since he’s portrayed as the child that tries harder for his parents. One could also assume that this is how it is for him normally, this sentence is no different than “you know your daughter, Aja’s spirited” because that’s really what he has to do all the time. Aja gets to run away and he doesn’t, he just has to suck it up and deal with it. 
Side note: I love how an entire coup happens so Aja asks Krel if he’s scared and he says “I am now the King-In-Waiting, I am terrified.” I do realize that he says he won’t be scared as long as he has Aja in episode two but, you’re telling me, after everything that just went down, Krel is terrified because he’s the king-in-waiting? The throne was just fucking usurped Krel! Oh my god, I love my baby boy who has no brain cells.
By now, we’ve seen the first impression of Fialkov and Krel’s relationship which I wouldn’t say is exactly good, but later in the episode Aja has a flashback to when she runs away past curfew and her mother gives her some insight. This is how that conversation goes:
-“Royals don’t need to skulk under the cover of darkness.” (This. This is incredibly important, but I’m not going to touch on that until the last episode unfortunately.)
“They do when they don’t want to be caught staying up past curfew. I can’t be what you want me to be, I can’t be a royal.”
“No one gets to choose their station in life Aja.”
“Maybe I’ll be the first.”
“There are those that would trade their life cores for royalty.”
“And I would trade my royalty for a life. A normal life.”
“You’re remarkable Aja.”
“You say that because you are my mother.”
“Royal or not, you are extraordinary, that is what you are constantly running away from. You could leave this palace, fly far away from our world...and your destiny would follow you.”
First of all just glancing at this, what a difference between Krel and Fialkov. Coranda immediately tells Aja that she is amazing as soon as she says she would want a normal life. She goes on about how amazing Aja is, which is great because she is, but that versus Fialkov not even saying anything about whether Krel is good enough or not is a BIG difference. It’s almost like, Krel is the less favored child right out of the gate. No? Maybe? That’s definitely important and we’ll get to that later? Cool.
Final remarkable thing about episode one.
So we are nearing the end, and after the coup has happened, and their parents are now in stasis after just being shot, Aja is extremely upset which is of course valid. I hope she wouldn’t be happy after that. As Krel comforts her, and she blames herself, it takes him less time than it takes for me to register what just happened before he immediately instead blames himself too as a counter argument.
“And it would have ended sooner if I had done better in the duel, if anything we’re both to blame” The sad thing is, nobody ever told them they aren’t to blame because Mama and Papa were reunited with them, but decided to instead fight for akiridion-5 where they then retreated to their cores. 
In conclusion, the Krel we see in the first episode is nothing like the impression he could give off throughout the rest of the series. When we start off, Krel is actually just nervous and under-confident as well as asking for validation from his father. Aja also appears to be favored over him. You can’t tell me that Fialkov completely avoiding Krel’s question about being good enough was a mistake when he went on this entire rant about making choices even with his sister. All he had to muster up was a simple “I believe in you” or “you will be a great king.” or even something along the lines of “yeah, you’ll be decent.” However, he avoided the question by saying something else entirely. This, and combined with the fact that Aja was immediately told how great she is the second there was any mention of not wanting the life she has is mostly what led me to believe that. And as I said before, what makes this episode so important is that this is the first episode that gives us an insight into who Krel was BEFORE everything happened. This is Krel Tarron, the King-in-Waiting who is forced to follow this life path, nervous, and under-confident, and I’d argue timid. (Timid sounds like such a weird word to label him as but that is how he acted.) This isn’t the Krel Tarron we see who would slide down a bounty hunter’s back just for the thrill of it or who made a daxial array out of nothing or even the Krel Tarron who went joyriding on the solar system in the planetarium. Obviously at the time, something was very different or off.
I did it, part one, it has no real conclusion despite what I said, it’s basically just thoughts since it’s only the beginning. If you read it, thank youuuu!!
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whenwegounnoticed · 4 years
Text
My Turn To Talk About VioletVineyard, MVCreates, and the Glaring Problems of Power Imbalances.
Introduction
I have been on the fence about talking about my experiences, on one hand, because one of her mods and I are or maybe were (?) friends, and I valued their friendship but in recent light, I don’t know and because I want my main to be a safe place for other writeblrs and because I am afraid.
I was in VioletVineyard at the beginning of it -- and being in it did not feel good for reasons I could never put my finger on.
Let's talk about me and who I am first without giving myself away:
I have a disorder that makes expressing myself difficult, this is due to childhood trauma and a form of self preservation. My wording will be clunky because only recently, with the help of amazing friends, I'm learning the right verbage.
Now. Some of you will know who I am. Hello. Please keep me anonymous. Some of you might have a guess. Hello. Surprised? Maybe you're wrong. I don't know, I'm not in your head just as you're not in mine.
I have screenshots for some stuff and none for others. These are all personal experiences.
I will not be sharing the screenshots of those who were victims to respect their privacy.
Please bear with me. I know this will be long and rambly, but it’s how I make sense of my thoughts and brain.
VioletVineyard: Questionable Reality
I joined VV at the start of it, although it was already pretty big. I was excited! I admired many writeblrs who were in there and wanted to be friends with many of them. They were all so welcoming. And I felt, for a hot minute, like I belonged.
It was sprint of my freshman semester as a journalism major, and Mina reached out to me in the general chat, saying that if I needed help or wanted an In at some journalism company, to let her know because she knows people.
Great! Cool. A little odd but that was nice of her -- and.
That's how it starts.
A side: my friend has a theory that if people only present how perfect and amazingly nice they are, they likely are rotting on the inside. Nobody is ever perfect and always super nice, do not trust them. I do not subscribe to this but it is a thought in my mind now.
It took a week of me being there for the not right feeling set in.
First:
There was drama.
She would start it. She'd vague in the vent about someone and then outright state who she was talking about. And it would be about someone whose opinions she disagreed with. People would go and send anons or they'd bitch about whoever was the victim in the vent channel.
I don't remember if I participated but if I did, I am truly and genuinely sorry.
I think I got stressed two weeks in. I was already ill from invisible physical problems. The server felt horribly unmoderated.
I remember saying something because Mina was doing it again and being told,
"Then support in here."
Mostly innocent right? You support your friends, right?
It wouldn't have been a problem if:
The victim did something wrong.
Mina and this person weren't in their goddamn 30s or near that. They have a child, by the way.
The person was at least under 20.
From my scattered memory, the issue was OP either slightly vagued abt Mina or she just disgreed with OP.
Lots of red flags, right?
"But OP why did you stay?"
Emotional masochism? Fear? Because she, either knowingly or unknowingly cultivated this sort of atmosphere? I cannot speak for anyone else, but that's the reasoning for me.
There was, also, in the beginning, a hope that maybe things would change. Varying personalities, you know? And a desperate need for validation.
So, so wrong.
MVCreates & OP
So, get to the point OP. What happened to you?
A vague threat.
Mina....had Opinions. And opinions are just that, opinions but for her, they were fact. After all, she has her own reality and own story that helped form hers but some of hers were odd. Maybe not to most people who aren’t paying attention or didn’t notice the red flags ( “through rose colored glasses, all red flags just look like flags”) but they were definitely something.
She, for awhile, talked an awful lot about writeblr positivity. I could never really make sense of it -- she either supported it or was against it, from what I remember. (keep in mind, this was a little over a year ago and visually, I can see the gaudy green - red - yellow colors for pronoun preferences).
And I made a vague post about it and her. A few times. I was in the wrong for vaguing about her instead of just saying something up front.
Her response was, and I will paraphrase,
“Do you ever screenshot people vaguing about you just in case they enter a political career?”
I wish I had taken a screenshot. I’m sorry now that I did not. Maybe someone saw that, maybe they brushed it off. I don’t know.
From then on, I kept quiet about my thoughts and opinions because I did have plans to go into a political career -- but jokes on her, I plan on being a human rights officer for the United Nations lmao
Another incident (we’re almost done, I promise):
I was -- venting about gender dysphoria. I was Peak Suicidal at this point in time, just knowing what I was born with brought me to tears frequently. Mina had jumped into in the conversation and started talking about something vaguely related. She started talking about trans BIPOC experiences, which is great! Their experiences are things that need to be talked about because they are often thrown to the side for trans white people’s experiences and that is not okay.
I forget the middle part, it’s been over a year. It went from BIPOC experiences to something else, a conversation about gender? I don’t know. Maybe there’s someone out there who remembers. I doubt it though.
I remember saying, “I wish I would have been born with testicles and everything else because [I’m in hell?]” and she answered with,
“That would [mean / cause / ???? ] privilege.”
This person who has claimed she is non binary, claimed to be a trans ally and part of the trans community, said that to someone in the height of dysphoria and was suicidal.
You do not say that to someone who is experiencing gender dysphoria. To say that is transphobia. And yes, trans & non binary people can be transphobic. You are not exempt.
Violet Vineyard & Reprehensible Behaviors
Before I start this section, and I promise this is almost done, I just want to thank:
@radley-writes​, @gingerly-writing​, @lilquill​, @sapiencenotes​  @rrrawrf-writes​ & many more who have come forward about their experiences, whether publicly and in private. It’s admirable and brave of you to do something I could not. @nuwuhorizons​ & @time-to-write-and-suffer​ have amazing documentation as well.
There isn’t much to say that hasn’t already been said and documented, but I can corroborate the bullying Mina and the mods engaged in -- the stuff Radley spoke about I did not know about -- and that makes me ill. I’m glad they owned up to what they did, and for that, thank you Radley. It shows you are a much bigger and better person.
I will not lie, however -- I was hurt and felt a bit ill when you talked about what the mods did. And it made me question and second guess a friendship I have (had?) with another mod. But I think that helped put some pieces of the puzzle together.
 An incident that stands out to me (and honestly bothers me, so a few people have heard about this often and I’m sorry), very clearly and I have screenshots for but will not share to protect their privacy, was when they dogpiled someone who had been asking about writing a Jewish character. While they were falling into somewhat harmful stereotypes, VV was handling it.
Not well.
The person was a minor, for one -- teenagers make mistakes, they make them more if they’re not exposed to varying cultures and beliefs. And the person who was on the receiving end of this dogpile looked to be coming more and more unstable and all I could do is just. Grab screenshots of what I could.
And if you’re reading this, you know who you are, I am so sorry I didn’t say anything. That wasn’t right, the entire situation wasn’t okay. You shouldn’t have gone through that. I hope you find healing and peace.
A quick disclaimer: Violet Vineyard, as far as I know, didn’t have a lot of Jewish members. I know a mod was converting (but hadn’t yet) and I think I saw one or two people with the Star of David in their name or icon. That said, my paternal grandmother was Jewish and had been one of the few survivors of her family from the Holocaust. I cannot speak for the entire Jewish population, and I do not consider myself Jewish in religion but trust me when I say this:
YHWH would be disappointed in their (VV’s) behavior -- and if the moderator who is working on converting is genuine about converting, then I need them to think long and hard  about what is happening. This isn’t what Judaism teaches. And if you’re reading this, ask yourself, would G-d condone the actions of your fellow ex mods?
Final Words
Oof, this was long, wasn’t it? Must have been hard to sit through because I ramble! So. What’s left for me to say?
Not a whole lot but still, a lot but the stuff I want to say are not my lived experiences. It is not my place to speak on behalf of anyone else involved in all of this. And that is okay.
But to the people who were involved with the recent drama and dogpiled a trans teenager and to those who helped bully many people in this community on behalf of the oh so great Mina,
my question is  why?
What was a thirty year old woman, WHO HAS A CHILD, bullying a nineteen year old? Why was an almost thirty year old person with a toddler and one on the way involved in this as well?
Most or a decent handful of you were adults, some with children, some expecting. 
And Mina,
You used your age and position to manipulate people and for that, I find you the most reprehensible. Castor did not deserve what happened, neither did the victim mentioned above. Nobody did. 
I hope, in the end, you finally find happiness without having to lie about your talent and without having to manipulate people.
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Thank you for listening and sticking around if you made it this far and didn’t bounce in the beginning.
I’ve said my part. If anyone wants to engage in constructive discussion or share their experiences, feel free to do so.
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makeste · 4 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat
Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.
Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.
so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us
anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time
ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?
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(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)
honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess
...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading
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sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]
holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao
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well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab
so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now
OH LORDY
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EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS
lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess
loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??
LOOOOOOL
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by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute
okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY
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IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING
KDSFLK;L’LLL
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AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS
*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!
AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”
OOOOOF
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LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON
by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions
oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls
OH GOD OH GOD!!!
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(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)
NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK
LMAO
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:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please
holy shit!?
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:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help
(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)
also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here
NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD
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WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS
dfkjkjk oh noooo
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“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”
but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel
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we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep
hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son
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have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now
anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks
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so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this
or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”
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anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire
(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)
and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?
oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones
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that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six
oh my god oh my god
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“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala
LA LA LA
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maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...
...
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or... a large hole... ... ,,,
oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!
HEY WHAT IS THIS
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or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks
I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!
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STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!
GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU
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“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY
FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!
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JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS
FUCK
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[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT
DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU
ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO
I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess
117 notes · View notes
Text
Edie & Billie
Edie: You’re not at home, are you?
Billie: Why?
Edie: ‘cos Rih has to babysit and you are the last phone a friend that needs to be eliminated 👾
Billie: 💀🔋 if anyone but you is asking
Edie: that’s the 👻
Edie: Even convinced Jun to get the fuck out
Billie: with what 👻? 👽 ?👾 🤡 ?🎃 🤖? madness
Edie: 👻 ish
Edie: there’s some exhibit at some museum, idk, it actually wasn’t my idea so I can’t take cred
Billie: 🦖 🦴 🦕 was next guess
Billie: safe that the 👻 🔮 came through with a plan
Edie: 👽 more like
Edie: that’s the best I can do with emojis anyway
Billie: 💬 💬 💬 💬
Edie: I met the most perfect boy
Billie: Dude not you catching a dose too 🚱
Edie: I’ve gone outside of the gene pool so it is not the same thing at all
Billie: 👍 start
Billie: Go on, what else has he got going for him?
Edie: Only everything
Edie: he’s perfect, I just said
Edie: You know that really tall, ridiculously good-looking boy in Rih’s year
Billie: 🤨 💭 ?
Billie: it’ll come to me
Billie: Aha! The one who [some rave story she’s heard of something wild he did]
Edie: I don’t know how you didn’t just KNOW but yeah
Edie: that sounds like him 🤩
Billie: he’s been working at ⛽️ [the location of said petrol station like whatever road it’s on] nights I’ve gone in
Edie: That’s good to know
Edie: I can go in too now
Edie: 💡
Billie: 👻
Edie: It’s so weird how we met actually
Edie: the thread has 90k people on it, what are the chances, how does that happen
Billie: spooky how many posts you could’ve missed before, weird if he ain’t wrote any til today & then replied to yours 🔮 🛸 🧲
Edie: He’s deffo been on there before, I recognised the username
Edie: but he mentioned somewhere in Dublin so then I knew he was at least from around here
Edie: I’d have never talked to him before, it’s deffo fate
Billie: fated if he agreed the monster was a copout reveal
Edie: He’s not 12, so duh
Edie: He’s so cool
Billie: It’s defs him?
Edie: Come on, like I’m gonna get catfished
Billie: this is wild odds, all I’m saying
Edie: It would be weirder if they worked out where I went to School, and then picked some boy who also went to that School to use
Edie: anyway, he’s sent me stuff today so I know it’s really him
Billie: he does look like someone to use for 🎣 but I can picture him on that thread loads
Edie: 🤤🤤🤤
Edie: Do you think he’ll come see me
Billie: yeah, why not
Edie: Aforementioned hotness, he could get ANY girl
Edie: I don’t know who he has gone out with before
Edie: didn’t he go out with one of Rih’s friends for a while?
Billie: [a pause while she has a convo with her friends about this because she has many and they’re mostly lads so at least some of them must know him or have some info]
Billie: Last seen with Lexie but that was time ago & nobody since
Edie: Hmm
Edie: I’m nothing like Lexie
Billie: he ain’t still with her & wasn’t for long, I’d assume he’s looking for different
Edie: and that’s me 🥴
Edie: charming 😏
Billie: 👽
Billie: She hasn’t said anything ☢️⚠️ I’m hearing now, that’s chill
Edie: she’s a bitch anyway, I wouldn’t trust her
Billie: if Blips is accurate on his timeline, even she couldn’t be that much of a bitch
Edie: ?
Billie: Everything with his sister was fresh then, apparently
Edie: Oh
Edie: I remember her, she had a nice smile
Billie: I don’t think I ever met her, it’s gone out my head if I did
Billie: the memorial he made for her is sicker than anything the teachers would’ve though, we hang there constantly
Billie: Take this info with 🧂 yeah? the source is Blips
Edie: She was a lot older
Edie: would’ve been, your paths probably didn’t cross
Edie: makes sense
Edie: he would’ve wanted someone around
Billie: makes sense he’s not thinking straight to pick Lexie to be that someone, but idk man, you can have your fill of pity quick enough
Edie: Maybe someone in her family died? I can see that and making that connection
Edie: not a sibling obviously or we’d know but she’s pretty dramatic, like all Rih’s friends are
Billie: not above milking a dead nan, bet
Edie: 💭 exactly
Edie: Poor Liam, that’s kinda fucking gross
Billie: bad taste in my mouth from being the messenger
Edie: I won’t say it was ages ago because that’d feel a bit like spitting on her grave but you know
Edie: fuck Lizzie or whatever her name is
Edie: she’s probably had 100 lads since then
Billie: Yeah, fuck Lizzie
Billie: what’s next for you & him?
Edie: I don’t know
Edie: I sort of asked him to come ‘round but not just like that
Edie: so his answer was as open-ended, I guess
Edie: I really hope he does though
Billie: he doesn’t know you’re unshockable & didn’t wanna freak you out by coming through the window on a real dark & stormy night
Billie: tracks if Lexie is his point of ref, she’s known for saying what she don’t mean
Edie: ugh, she’s really fucked that up for me
Edie: I should go cockblock her too
Edie: that’s a good idea actually
Billie: You could roll up if he’s working, let him know you’re not alike
Edie: If I roll up on her, he will 😈
Billie: 😶 cos idk how he rolls
Edie: You think he’ll be 😱 / 🤬
Billie: He could think you’re jealous, which would put you looking like her 🤡
Billie: lads always go to that headspace
Edie: most lads
Edie: like your mates who can’t spell their own names without checking with their ma first
Edie: I don’t think he’s like that
Billie: I’ll bite, what’s he like?
Edie: emojis weren’t covering it but I dunno if I even can with actual words either
Edie: he’s like no one else I’ve ever spoken to, I wasn’t bored, and he wasn’t weirded out
Billie: You weren’t even a bit bored?
Edie: nah
Edie: I felt like I was barely keeping up
Billie: 🤯
Edie: but he wasn’t trying to be impressive how lads do, because that isn’t
Billie: he was waiting for whatever he sent to impress you, which worked
Edie: he sent me lots of stuff
Edie: not 🍆 pics
Billie: he looks like he’d be a fuckboy
Edie: right?
Edie: he’s got too much about him though
Edie: I would’ve gone with it if he wanted, he had the chance
Billie: 🤯🤯
Edie: come on
Edie: you can see him
Billie: & I can hear you, you don’t say this kinda shit about anyone
Edie: I know, I’m deadly serious
Edie: 💀💀💀
Billie: What a day
Edie: Don’t tell anyone else yet though
Edie: I think he feels it too
Edie: but just in case
Billie: 🤐
Billie: he blatantly does, but that’s up to yous two to broadcast if you want, how you want
Billie: I’m just excited for the reveal 🎟 🍿 📺 🕹 📷 💻 📼 💿
Edie: He makes films too
Edie: and I’m writing a song right now
Billie: link me
Edie: [do, at least the ones that are clearly not private or whatever]
Edie: 😍
Billie: Cool, I’m gonna check these while you go 😈 on Lexie
Edie: If you hear her scream, no you didn’t
Edie: 😘✌️
Billie: not her 🩸 🦷 🦴 got it
Edie: only partly
Edie: she’s only 3rd on my shit-list, after-all
Billie: if I give you away with a new tic, no I didn’t & they’ll never convict 🤪✌️
Edie: so lucky you can shout ableism if it comes down to it
Edie: ADHD is an excuse for nothing except maybe being five minutes late 🙄
Billie: I’m not going for that with a free pass to shout out at the law 🐷 🐽 🐖 🥓
Edie: you can brag about your free pass, I only get caught when I want to ☠️✊
Billie: not a humble brag you can throw out to your new man, going off these locations I’m recognising, he’s got skills at never getting caught
Billie: How’d he get into [somewhere he should not be]?!
Edie: that’d be telling 🤫
Edie: I told you, he’s really smart
Billie: How didn’t we have a clue about him pretty much?
Edie: because he looks like a fuckboy, I suppose
Edie: you know Rih is gonna act like he’s a decade older than me because she thinks she’s so mature
Billie: 🙄
Edie: I can’t wait to call her out on her bullshit again with something new to add
Edie: can’t wait for the opposition like she’s got a leg left
Billie: She’ll run out fast, he’s cool
Edie: She’s not
Edie: but whatever, she can’t do anything
Billie: No chill, but he’s barely older, so if that’s her only 🔫
Edie: and he went out with Lexie ages ago, well, basically
Edie: she can’t act like she’s really good friends with him, I KNOW she isn’t
Billie: & she wasn’t in Lexie face not to go out with him, couldn’t cos there’s nothing wrong with him 🤷🏼‍♀️
Edie: you act like she’s rational but yeah
Edie: I don’t care, I know this is right
Edie: and what I want
Billie: She’s not, like, irrational enough to be hating on your happiness
Edie: I hate on hers
Billie: that’s different
Edie: not to her
Billie: Yeah but in terms of you & Liam
Edie: If she tries to be nice that’ll be even worse 😷
Billie: minding her own business isn’t gonna happen
Edie: I wish she’d keep hers to herself
Edie: I can’t stand it when he’s here
Edie: I’ll kill Lizzie and steal her bed
Billie: least you can stay at his soon
Edie: 😋
Billie: [frames of one of the videos cos the location is some end of summer event, why not] & you’ll be there together this year
Edie: You really think?
Billie: I don’t think you’ll be dumped quicker than Lexie
Edie: Damn fucking right
Edie: even if he was after one thing, I could do it better than her
Billie: [deletes that message like I don’t wanna read about your sexcapades thank you]
Billie: 🎧 🔊
Edie: [retypes it more vividly which I won’t subject you to lmao]
Billie: NAH
Edie: 😂😂😂
Edie: you’re alright, I’ve got another level to my mission now
Edie: [deets of the scavenger hunt thing]
Billie: Did he sort it for you?
Edie: Yep 😍
Billie: this lad
Billie: unreal
Edie: I think I’m in love
Billie: Someone offer to make him for you in a lab? getting sus otherwise
Edie: That would make sense
Edie: he’s way too perfect
Edie: not that I’m mad
Billie: 🏩 💕 💐 🧸 💞
Edie: 💍💒👶
Billie: [deletes that like calm down lol]
Edie: 👶👶👶👶👶👶👶 maybe
Billie: When’s the [some meteor shower or comet that’d feel very fated and cosmic and therefore we must]? invite him to that first
Edie: 🛸
Edie: I just need to think of a way to tell him where and when
Billie: You’ll be looking up for it, makes sense if he has to 👀⬆️ to find out
Billie: I’d put something on his roof
Edie: About the only place he’d genuinely have to look up to see
Edie: might be less literal
Edie: 💻
Billie: that’ll work too
Edie: plus if you reckon he’ll think I’m mental for hitting up Linda, finding out where he lives without asking will really tip it
Billie: romantic gestures are mental, less of a public ambush than most are
Edie: Everything fun is
Billie: Yeah, but nothing’s fun about getting asked out in the hallway between lessons or whatever 💩 is meant to pass for 😍
Edie: Well yeah, that’s too American teen drama for words
Edie: are his friends gonna be standing there pissing themselves at you believing it even for a sec
Billie: if it’s me his mates are stood about meowing cos some tics refuse to 💀
Edie: That’s cute
Edie: at least you aren’t saying some embarrassing untrue shit
Billie: my true form is 🐱 🐈 & I’m saying the truest shit since 👶🏼 🧒🏼
Edie: I know enough not to throw out suggestions for your head to grab but I’ve seen people saying wild things that you’d get eaten alive for
Edie: but duh, how else did we end up with you
Billie: I know not to watch that shit & maybe 🐦 it but yeah, love to my non-verbals 😝 😜 🤪 ✌️ 🖕 👍
Billie: & to ma for never meeting a stray she didn’t love
Edie: I’ll wait ‘til you wrong me ‘fore I add you to the shit list and send ‘em your way
Edie: tRIGgeRd ❗️❗️❗️❗️
Edie: 💗
Billie: Well I ain’t gonna develop a convenient new 👊 one OR pull a Lexie & wheel out my dead relative to steal your bf 💚
Edie: Ha, don’t
Billie: wouldn’t know what to do with him after using him as a 🛹 ramp & 🚴🏼‍♀️ jump
Edie: I’m the only one allowed to jump him tah
Billie: 😷
Edie: Okay I need to focus on this last one
Edie: see you at home
Billie: k
Billie: see you soon 🏴‍☠️
1 note · View note
best-enemies · 3 years
Note
For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!
AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST
A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)
I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe
B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind
It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo 
But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ
C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)
Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it
D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)
Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.
E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what
God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs
F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom
Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years
G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it
Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol
H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)
I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know
I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why
I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again
J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr
I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha
K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms
I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that  @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED
L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)
Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.
It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(
M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)
Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D
N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)
I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol
O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of
“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)
The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane
Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why
I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol
R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships
GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far
S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)
The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)
1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time
U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms
I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but
Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)
The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?
Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu
Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh
V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms
That’s hard
Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show
The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted
Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too
W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships
WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show
X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM
The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf
Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)
Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot 
Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)
I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN
it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3
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q-u-a-c-k · 3 years
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rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.
okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.
So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.
also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.
sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?
also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.
anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.
and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.
also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.
also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.
oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.
my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.
I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.
idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.
I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.
and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂
but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.
well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).
I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.
anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.
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redemptionbaby · 5 years
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The Altar is Calling
Pairing: Demon!Low Honor?Arthur/Noble!Reader
Summary: Practicing your vows for an arranged marriage, you’ve accidentally performed them atop an ancient ruined alter, and bound yourself to Arthur
Words: 1240 
Author’s note: This is probably kinda bad lmao I’m rusty and tired and Arthur is just whoever I want him to be at this point
The forest has always been a place of serenity, finding sacredness in its lack of change. There’s a spiritual connection to be found when stepping on stones carved long before even your grandparents were born, since eroded and reclaimed by nature. Their markings are faded in clarity and in the memories of generations, once meaningful but now unintelligible. 
You find yourself upon this hallowed ground not in search of spiritual clarity, or reflection, but memory. The truth isn’t simply that you’re a spoiled noble girl with nothing better to do than rehearse vows for an arranged marriage, though you look upon it with a sense of complacent dread. The truth is that you’re not allowed to do much of anything else.
“With this hand I will… I will…” Your forgetfulness beckoned you into your own wandering thoughts. Was this family crest little but a burden cast upon you at birth? To be free of the troubles of survival, and robbed of choice in recompense? You tried to continue despite not finishing the first line.
“Love and something something, I promise to be your… wife? No, that sounds stupid. Even for a wedding.” To be completely honest, you paid much more attention to the pleasant sound of your heels clacking against stones than to your recitation. And who wouldn’t? Everyone loves a good heel clack.
“Give me peace and retrospection. Maybe?” The woods echoed with the sounds of your indifference and melancholy. No birds, no rustling leaves. 
“And you will be my knight. That part, I know!” you cheered inwardly without much thought, and plopped down onto an area of mossy cobble, with an exasperated sigh escaping you. Did you truly have no talents? Charm, agency, not even memory? That couldn’t be. You were sure you could remember if you really tried. Rehearsal be damned, you had something to prove to yourself.
“With this hand, I will guide you through the darkness
With love and generosity, I promise to be your light
Give me peace and protection
And you will be my knight”
To say you were pleased with yourself was the understatement of the year. But if you were to refuse yourself such simple pleasures as that, you’d scarcely find any enjoyment in life. You were pulled from your contentment by a hand reaching around your waist. A big hand. The warmed, biggest hand you’d ever felt. Not that you were some sort of serial hand-toucher or anything.
Curiosity overpowered what little sense of self-preservation you had. With guidance from the aforementioned hand and the arm attached to it, presumably the rest of the body as well, you spun around to find yourself in the arms of someone you’d never seen before. Someone or something not of this world.
Normally you would not so hastily draw such conclusions, or course. You weren’t judgemental or anything. But the signs were there, in the form of one strikingly handsome man, tall and well built, sporting a pair of curled black horns, a matching black tail, and cloven feet. And yes, his legs were like, kinda hairy, but people sometimes said the same about you. Everything about him expressed his being able to snap you like a twig, but the way he held you somehow told you better. It was a snug and tender hold, not uncomfortable, but precisely the way someone very insecure and simultaneously excited holds something. You were broken away from your thoughts yet again, and like, talk about rude, by a voice. His voice. Low down, drawling, a touch of gruffness, but gentle beneath it all.
“Couldn’ta said it better myself, sweetheart.” The adoration behind his words and his eyes, which you’d now met, was overwhelming. The kiss he planted on your lips was just the same. Suffice to say, you were too dumbstruck with confusion to retaliate. You didn’t know where to start with all this.
“Who are you?” panic, though not evident in your voice, was starting to creep into your chest from your diaphragm like a worm through an apple. If worms actually did that, you’ve never actually seen it, but you’d always wanted to. He had the nerve to laugh in a non committal way.
“Yer husband, as of about two minutes ago.” And also a huge clown, he forgot to say.
“Rather, um, why?” He sighed a little, a mix of both dreamy and relenting, as he saw you clearly didn’t know a damned thing about what happened and you weren’t just gonna make it easy for him by rolling with the punches. But love ain’t supposed to be easy, he remembers.
“Y’said those vows on my altar, darlin’. Though ya might not have guessed it, from the state of things ‘round here.” He gestured to the floor of carved stones, runes just barely aglow with his presence. “Contract’s a contract. And you wouldn’t believe how long I been waitin’ to hear words like those, sweet pea. Never woulda believed they’d come from someone as cute as you. Never thought they’d sound quite that lovely, either.” His expression grows softer, and quite honestly, way harder to refuse as he speaks. With the thought of your former betrothed, whose face you can barely recall now, you can’t say you’re not warming up to the idea of being married to like, a goat-man-spirit or whatever. Just a little.
“You just married yourself a demon, pretty lady. But I promise you won’t regret it. I’ll make ya happy, protect you ‘n all the other stuff good husbands are ‘spposed to do. Arthur Morgan, at your service.” The last part sounds like an afterthought, but you can’t fight your polite upbringing and introduce yourself in turn while he smiles like an idiot, unbeknownst to him.
“That’s a fine name. Real pretty.”
------
Before you know it, for hours you’ve been sat on the stony ground chatting up your ‘husband’. Every so often he tried to inch a little closer to you, and half the time you indulge him, the other half you scoot away and tease him. And Arthur is surprised. You’ve got way more questions about matrimony than you do the whole demon thing. No askin’ about living in hell, or bearing the antichrist. Your most recent question was about if you had to take his last name.
“I don’t expect you to or nothin’, it ain’t exactly interesting, Morgan. Hell, I think I forget it sometimes. Demons don’t tend to care about that sorta thing anyhow.”
His more sadistic, “stereotypical demon” personality starts shining through when he talks about how a lot of demons brand their partners instead. You can see him delight in the apprehension and worry on your face.
“Don’t worry babygirl, I ain’t gonna subject you to anythin’ like that. Not yet, anyways.” Careful, Arthur. Your unmarriageable clown is showing.
A call through the forest interrupts your arguably pleasant chit-chat. Your name. It’s one of the servants. Dusk is fast approaching the horizon, and the scheduled time for your wedding rehearsal must be near.
“Got somewhere to be, little lady?”
“You could say that. There’s something you should know about me, Arthur. I’m betrothed.”
The momentary delight at hearing his own name from your lips is cut short with a simmering jealous annoyance. He quiets it down. You’re not ready to see him like that yet, but someday he’ll be able to bear his soul to you, he can feel it.
“Well. Nobody’s perfect.”
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serendipitous-magic · 4 years
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Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour
I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie​! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.
1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? 
Black. Dunno why.
2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? 
City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc. 
Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)
If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.
3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? 
I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.
4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? 
Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.
5. What was your favourite book as a child? 
Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.
6. Do you prefer baths or showers? 
Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.
7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? 
Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.
8. Paper or electronic books? 
Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.
9. What is your favourite item of clothing? 
I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)
10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?
I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.
11. Who is a mentor to you? 
A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers. 
12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? 
Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.
13. Are you a restless sleeper? 
Oh yeah. I have trouble  sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean. 
14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? 
I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.
15. Which element best represents you? 
Fire, probably.
16. Who do you want to be closer to? 
My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.
17. Do you miss someone at the moment? 
Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.) 
18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. 
The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣
19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? 
Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.) 
Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”
20. What are you most thankful for? 
That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.
21. Do you like spicy food? 
Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭
22. Have you ever met someone famous? 
Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.
23. Do you keep a diary or journal? 
Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.
24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? 
Pen. Pencil gets smudged.
25. What is your star sign? 
Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.
26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? 
Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention. 
27. What would you want your legacy to be? 
My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.
28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? 
I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.
I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.
29. How do you show someone you love them? 
Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine. 
30. Do you like ice in your drinks? 
Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.
31. What are you afraid of? 
Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.
32. What is your favourite scent? 
Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.
33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? 
If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.
34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? 
 If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.
If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.
Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.
35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? 
I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)
36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? 
Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.
37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? 
A few times, yeah.
38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? 
Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.
39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? 
I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)
40. What can you hear now? 
Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual. 
41. Where do you feel the safest? 
When I’m alone and unobserved. 
42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? 
TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.
43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 
The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.
44. What is your most used emoji? 
In order of descending frequency:
😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙
45. Describe yourself using one word. 
Creative
46. What do you regret the most?
Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.
47. Last movie you saw? 
In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.
48. Last tv show you watched? 
I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.
49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. 
Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like
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The Molten Charcoal (Idia x Silver fic) : Chapter 2
Enjoy this second chapter :) Please reblog if you like, or comment, I love to see your comments,,, 
I... went outside my room. The corridors were pretty chilly... I guess I should really go outside, huh. What if I spread the curse here, though? If some ice were to be born here, to be blossoming peacefully, or furiously, no melting would even be bestowed upon them. Only my flames would remain. Only I will remain... somehow. The darkness were soothing, though. They don't burn, after all. I should ask someone to use dark magic to boost my computers, lol. Nevermind. I didn't meet anyone, of course. All of Ignihyde's students aren't giving a shit, anyway. If we were to come across each other, we would both stare at the void and walk as if no one was there. My legs hurt a bit, tho. Less than in PE and after PE and the day after but still... I walked for a few minutes at least. Maybe I was just hungry... I was so stressed I couldn't tell lmao. But the corridors were so quiet and chilly... I'm just annoyed our colors are black (tho it's not really a color) and blue... Can't blue just fucking disappear. Hmm... if blue were to "fucking disappear", Ortho would as well kflgldlnf,. I'm stupid. He even called me some... time ago, I think? I should check the hour from time to time... What if I miss some event???
My "date" with Silver is in 6 days, probably. Why would he call it a date if he doesn't know I'm in love, though... I guess Ortho really saw through me and wasn't joking with my Prince Ideal?! Is he going to shoot Truth Bullet in my face and make me the only victim of this love trial?! Six days, tho... I'll have to see Silver... I've already met him so it won't be as awkward as the first time but... Do I even have the right to love him, anyway? I probably have, but I can't fulfill my lovey dovey dream, LOL. Even if he were to love me... Even if he is a Prince... That's the way I should behave as the future Shroud Family Head. I should wed someone of my "rank". But if I do, how many responsibilities will be pushed upon our shoulders? I can not just marry him, that's right. But he is still a "prince". I won't ever wed a fucking prince. Wouldn't that mean fulfilling my kin's wish? I don't. fucking. want. to. I don't want to be a Shroud. I am just... Idia... I am just Idia... And if the prince's ideal was just something I started to wish after what happened back then? What if I don't really love Silver but just love his aura? That's it, right... Sorry, Ortho, I really can't be in love with Silver, huh. There's no way I truly love. That's just another delusion. I'm just a stupid kid. I'm just a stupid adult. Whatever. This delusion is sweet, huh? That will last some time. And it'll vanish. I can't love a prince since it would be a Shroud's fate. I want to love the Prince Charming since I want to be saved. Couldn't I just love the sweet and caring senpai ideal?! Guess I went the hardcore mode because I'm rich and used to opulence, lol. I still got six days... I guess Ortho will knock my door like hell when the time shall come, anyway. That makes me going outside at least five times to be prepared... Welp, I'll just play some games and read the lessons's content Ortho has sent me. Lol.
[Started Recording at : 11 am : Second??? Day]
[May contain fragments and shattered data]
[The user has deemed preferable to let them be.]
-LET'S FUCKIIIING GOOOOO
-What do you mean, dude? ... trying my best. No... really.... serious!
The room next to Ortho was definitely reflective of Idia's moods. His shouting and screaming and screeching and howling were as reversed as his flame hair. He was not a bother when he let his voice ramble... He was not annoying either.
-I'm... best DPS! Y'all can't outrun my skiiiiiiiiills!
He was just acting so happily. His little brother sat on the bed he had been offered by the school, in the room the school had offered him, in the world he had been offered. The covered by some shades of blue, very likely azure, bed, was probably soft.
-GOOD GAME y'ALLLLL! I'm... play... See y'all!
-Huh? If I want to stay in the... channel? Sure~! What do... wanna talk about, though?
He did not need to go outside to seek happiness. They knew about that. His flames barely had enough sense in existing, and could erase all of the logic they were looking for. This story did not make any sense. Should this story make sense? He was a half, after all. This should make sense. But why?
-Yeah, WyverneCastel? I.... yeah... need... later. If you can, ... course!
The next lesson would soon begin. It was better to stop Recording right now.
[Ended Recording at 11:30 am : Second??? Day]
Tbh, I only had good games so far. No Internet problems (of course, since I usually fix them, NRC is so fucking slow when it comes to administration and solving problems LOL), no Internet problems for my team, no server crash... I kind of like to solve little stuff like that, to be fair... Like, I didn't really use to when I was younger. Well, until a certain incident, of course... Maids and butlers would just bring sweets, cupcakes, forêt noire, macaron, lemon pie, millefeuille, sachertorte, éclair, tropézienne, chou à la crème, mochi, dango, baklava, Turkish delight, praline pie, crepes, waffles... No matter how dark and clean their suits and dresses were, none of them were exactly identical. I guess that's why I could recognize them, especially when I was small... I guess my parents just wanted to show off by telling others their servants could have a slightly customized outfit, or some kind of shit like that. It would probably cost a bit more than regular outfits they could just ordered at the same moment... Just because they had money, the "bit" was staying a "bit". I don't want to see them again... Their blue burning hair, like mine... I fucking hate it. I can't even dye it. I can't dye it. I can't dye it. I can't dye... I can't change them... I can't change... I'm a cursed heir in love with someone who could be a prince but isn't at the same time. This story cannot end in a way or another. This doesn't make any sense, yet it does. Can it just be absolutely absurd? Give me some powers that don't make any sense. I want them. I don't want to be a Shroud. Welp, guess I'll go and check what Ortho did for the lessons. I'll probably go and take a "walk" after (that is, earning outside-resisting exp points to lvl up my skill).
Okay, so the "recordings" go as "The Seventh's history may seem simple at first, but do not forget that History is made by winners. They were the ones to win and if their people are living in, for the most, good conditions, it is yet to be proven that the means were as glorious as the results. If someone says something when speaking of History, try thinking about the opposite. It may end up interesting, although I cannot deny some FACTS exist in History itself, since an enormous sample of people were made to make sure that it was a "fact" and therefore, not a "speculation". Well, these facts could be denied since propaganda exists in our world, alas. But doubting everything will spread discord, and even lying can be used by leaders to prevent peoples from collapsing or killing each other."
Up to this point, I cannot say it's difficult. I mean, it's just almost a Civilization creative game, huh. I guess this is just the introduction or something like that, and that the "hard" part will come right after...
"The Queen of Hearts has made an abnormal lots of rules, for instance. Yet, her peoples did not dethrone her. Does that mean they like her? Well, this could be interpreted as "respect" from our point of view. But from someone else, they could actually fear her and fear the fact she has sent people to death. She held trials to judge them before sentencing them to death or other punishments, that is true. Yet, were that true trials or actually fake trials only meant to look like trials and fair justice? We do not have enough clues about whether she actually listened to mitigating factors or... . To keep going with this idea, ... also was judged when ... came to Wonderland. The trial was ... and yet almost ... ."
I'm not gonna lie, why the hell are there blanks? Ortho is always serious and meticulous. There's no way he can miss a single word. His ears are among the best of the world. I'm pretty sure he can fucking outrun all of Savanaclaw when it comes to earing (well, actually, he probably can outrun ANYONE since he's great). So if there are blanks... there are but a few reasons for that. Either he needs an urgent update, but this has NEVER occurred before since I've spent months to create a perfect calendar to never let him suffer the most insignificant flaw. Thus it can't be that. He could have been beaten up but that wouldn't make any goddamn sense. Who would even try to hurt him when I'm so neutral to anyone? I legit don't give a shit about what's going on in NRC. I'm not even sure I met the new student (if they're that new since I dunno when they have arrived lol)... This left me with two solutions.
Either Ortho was infected by a Virus, but nobody here has my hacking skills so it's very unlikely or... he has started recording more than expected and it's making its components slow down. I guess I won't have any choice but upgrade his memory next time we update him. The thing is... what the fuck is Ortho recording outside of our notes? He's probably doing something for my sake or...?! No, he wouldn't do something that twisted... He wouldn't!!! He wouldn't seek intel on Silver for my sake?! Go back Ortho! GO BAAAACK! You're a pure-hearted shota character, you shouldn't seek to change your condition or you may end in a fucking violent time loop! I don't think he's actually doing this... It would be weird for Ortho to act on this own on shady stuff like this. I guess he is trying to help me in a way... But what the fuck can he be recording... I'll think about it after checking the other days recordings. Maybe there weree already some parasite noises or something like that?
So, I've listened to the whole yesterday recordings, and even the one before yesterday (I just sped up his voice since I just wanted to be sure there were no vocal errors). I am.. pretty sure of it, now. Ortho did not have troubles until yesterday night at least. It seems it has begun during the second part of Trein's class, so it wouldn't be stupid to think that his memory is being more and more filled by "something else". I guess I will just ask him to only pick the key information and understand by himself what the teachers told him... It will take faaaar less room. I'm going to get out now, that's probably night. I hope it will be another chilly travel.
OKAY THIS DIDN'T GO AS PLANNED AT ALL. NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL. I thought I'd take a stroll towards in the refectory since no one is supposed to be there at that time but I FUCKING FORGOT THAT NO ONE GIVES A FUCKING SHIT IN THIS FUCKING SCHOOL?! I even thought of taking some food if there were some leftovers so that I could award myself from getting out of my room (cause honestly walking is boring as fuck, I'd rather walk in Skyrim, at least I can hear my leather boots on the ground, lol)... Of course people would have been there. But when I got out of my room, the chilly ascension kept on telling me to move forward.  Everything was covered in darkness, to the point I thought my flames would become that of a raven, finally. I took several steps, no matter what the light piercing my skull did. The gleam may try to bath the corridor of their blue burning halo, there were too much potential icicles ready to kill it. I just wanted the chill atmosphere to let me walk, and somehow it ended up this way. For now, my flames were too weak to even absorb the ice before absorbing their waters. I wish for it to weaken to the point my sparks die. I want to walk on that silver lake too... I don't want to fly above. I don't want to sink beneath. I want... to walk on it. To swim through it.
Basically, by the time I got to the refectory (always fucking heavily decorated, like what the hell, luxurious chandeliers????), I realized I made a mistake. There were at least two potential people going there at least once a week. From the moment I heard their voices, this was too fucking late. Trey and Jamil were arguing, somehow? I didn't even think it was possible for these two to argue... I mean, Trey is the cool glasses trope and Jamil is obviously the tortured-but-actually-cunning-and-not-that-bad one. How could they even argue? Well, not that I knew if it had happened before. Cater could post a lot of stuff on Magicam (and yet that wasn't even shitpost...), lol. But I don't remember seeing stuff on Trey badmouthing Jamil or the other way round... Trey was the kind to avoid troubles at all cost, especially since he was under Riddle's influence... I would behave the same, tho I would never have been vice-dorm-leader lmao (well im already dorm head and it's already a fucking pain in the ass, thanks)... I tried to escape but it was too late... I guess that's what I get for playing with my burning curse. They asked me what was I doing there, though they probably were not surprised of my walking "hours". They seemed so suspicious of myself that it was not an ordinary situation. Usually, they would maybe have greeted me... That's all. They began asking me if I was the one stealing the food. Even if my answer was clear, even shaky, none of them would accept it. I was... after all... fire. Fire and water never meddled. Even if I pushed my body to repeating the same answer under different shapes since I may have had a bad locution... They wouldn't listen to me. At some point, I even told them I would find the criminal later and that I would just record some little things they would say to me before going back to my dorm, but they wouldn't even let me go.
-Well, you see, Shroud, there were supposed to be some yakitori, curry portions and blanquette de veau left. All of them disappeared. Although I think it would be hard for you to eat all of this, your health habit seems bad enough to let you eat nothing for several days then compensate suddenly by a huge chunk of food. Am I wrong?
Jamil wasn't especially agressive toward myself, though I know he probably doesn't like me. Who likes me in this ocean, anyway. They were not fishes like Octacreepnelle, but more of... water elementals, I guess. Or maybe barely humans able to seize water and flowing into rivers. They could merge into this part I couldn't access. Of course I would be forever different and... hated as such. Very likely.
-I am sorry to interrupt you, Mr Viper, but I don't think Shroud is the responsible. I know for sure he has a sweet tooth, and yet, most of the sweets are actually there. Except some of the biggest cakes, everything is more or less there.
I would have rather prefered Trey not to reveal my weakness to the enemy, but he was also trying to protect me in a way. Trey is probably actually more of the hero in disguise trope...! Just kidding. But up to this point, they had so many proofs and yet were clueless and even daring to choose me as the culprit...
-The culprit isn't me, isn't Trey and isn't Jamil...
-Heh?
-How can you be so sure about that, Shroud?
-E-eh... You suddenly rely on me so much... Guess I'm good as long as I can be useful, huh... But you won't let me go if I don't spit the truth so... Basically, all of the sweets, which are tiny and not good for health, are left. Then, we can conclude it's neither of you because you would have picked up ingredients, not food itself, or at least not Trey since he probably values a lot baking and improving.
-T-That's true...
-Then, that could be Jamil... But why would he come again if he already has stolen that much? And from what I know, Jamil prefers to cook because of some dark poison stories, right?
-Y-yes, I cannot deny that...
-Then, it is neither Trey nor Jamil. About myself, I try to stay in my room as much as I can, and I'm pretty sure Ortho only go to the refectory during the authorized hours since he is much more reliable than I am. But why would anyone steal so much food in the first place? If it were for one person, one or two dishes would have been sufficient. Moreover, let's say it again, the sweets were not stolen. So the person who stole... didn't pick up what they wanted by love of good food! They stole it because they needed it.
-Hmm... I wouldn't disagree with you, Shroud but.. I am pretty sure I got a letter from Jamil telling me I had to get here at 10 pm...
-Excuse me, Clover? Aren't you the one who sent the letter?
-And that solves the mystery. There is someone who planned on stealing food, knew that you were the only two going for sure in the refectory during night and set you up.
-Wait, who dares to do such a personnal attack against Scarabia?
-It is very likely that the culprit is... Ruggie Bucchi from Savanaclaw.
-Wait.. that would actually make sense...?!
-Especially since he didn't get a lunch earlier... I guess he planned on pleading for hunger if someone was to catch him during the act. And so he sets us up by delivering letters on different hours, and not by his own hands... Wait this level of intellect is almost that of Azul... Ruggie Bucchie is really cunning and... worthy of praise in a sense.
-Hm, that would definitely make sense since he is always the one to get the leftovers in the refectory before the holidays to help the people of his town. I did not expect you to be that useful, Shroud.
-Heh, you're talking to the one who solved Hinamizawa and Rokkenjima's mysteries on the second parts of each, of course I can do such petty investigation.
-Well... thanks... on the behalf of... Scarabia. I am going.
Jamil just left, but tbh I don't really know why. I guess he wanted some time alone before going back to Kalim. At a certain point of my childhood, I had tried to ask less and less to maids and butlers since they all worked so hard. They probably wanted some freedom too. And... I wanted to learn things for myself, too.
-Oh, Shroud, since you've helped us a lot... And... you've thought of how hard I work on my cakes... I want to make you one as an award. And it must have been hard for you to speak to us. Ask me anything and I'll bring you a cake, my best cake, when you want me to give it to you.
-H-h-h-h-huh? I mm-m-m—mean it's really nice b-b-b-but I...
-That's okay, take your time, I won't scream or shout on you just because you're different from others.
-I... I... thanks... Thanks... But... Shouldn't y-y-y-y-you be paid for that...? I mean, you're a kind of artist, and artists should be p-p-p-paid, r-r-r-ight?
His face certainly moved. But why? Was it on its own, or an order, a semi-order, even? I couldn't tell whether his mouth was smiling or if he was smirking, or the other way around. His limbs were linked like any of the sea-universe kin. So, if he were to makes any action, it should be on purpose... but that would be far too easy and stupid.
-Yeah, sure, but you paid me by solving a big trouble. Of course, depending on what you ask, the fees could overcome the wish I had, and thus you would have to pay a supplement.
I had already asked him about the fees and talked about artist respect. I couldn't possibly go beyond what he would offer me since I, for once, had gathered experience on this one, right...
-Please... Can I have a... I hope it won't sound weird... grey and blue cake? With some hard candies on the top...
-Wow! That's an original idea, I like it! Sure, I'll make it. Blueberries and hmm... I guess some white chocolate, maybe some Turkish Delight if I'm in for it... I'll try to make something unique for you! When should I give it to you?
-I-in... five days, if it's fine with you... I really don't want to bother you, you're already so nice and patient with me...
-That's okay, I'll bring it in five days to the Ignihyde Dorm! But the hard candies and the Turkish Delight may make the cake harder to make... Since you're a Dorm Leader and I don't want Riddle to have troubles with you, could attend at least one PE class? That would make up for it.
-Y-y-y-y-y—yeah, sure.
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currently t posing as hard as ever thanks to also being stuck in [i can't believe i have to create what i want to create] mode... comradeship... ✨🔮🍺⚡
ugh smh at all of us attempting to create anything......comrades in this mess for sure B/ when will we learn
✨ Favourite aesthetic?
i can enjoy some like Muted Atmospheric type palettes......like, dim lighting / atmospheric distancing, maybe some monochrome-leaning stuff, Desaturated Colors which is wild as i never use this aesthetic myself lmao and am being unusually “restrained” if i choose Non-100% Saturated Colors.......i like some nighttime / dusk type Visuals although then within that i like both like, more ~realistically~ muted/dark stuff And Also like stylistically brightened / more saturated blues than you’d Really see at night, plus maybe some Warm Lighting from some source, don’t have to lean full thomas kinkade with it or whatever but it’s good. and Sunset type lighting where there’s both like, some colorful Lighting but also more desaturated shadows.......i don’t go so much for earth / jewel tones really like, either Lighter & Brighter or Darker & More Muted is my like Palette sensibilities apparently
🔮 Any advice you would have given 10 y/o you?
i have to like count out like what year of school are people in at whatever age....that’d be circa 4th/5th grade i guess?? not much going on. 4th grade was that one [several scenes from julius caesar] where it was like oh this is pretty clear You’re A Theatre Gay (which i only put together v recently for how obvious it was lol) and also of Course You’re Trans lmao like, may as well explain not only what Being Trans is (i don’t like, particularly remember when i became aware of That Being A Thing was?? like i know i knew by 14 but...) and go ahead and explain being Nonbinary coz it Was a good few years before i like, heard of that as a concept.....speaking of the Circa-’10s Dialogue i could’ve explained “you aren’t obligated to like, lgbtq-dom to Come Out to your family” b/c my Attempt at that only inconvenienced me and it’s just not a good/true sentiment for anyone lol........took a minute to like, get Perspective on things where i had this assumption that i’d Age Out of what turned out to be more inherent issues like [you are autistic, and also queer, and ppl don’t always just Make Friend Groups by high school age lol] and [family dynamics are not all Like This and it seems like the ‘rents approach is Wild b/c it is and it’s not Really going to fundamentally change so just don’t worry about the Continual Strife lol not on you actually] like, there’s a real On The One Hand But On The Other matter where my getting to go away to college gave that chance for some crucial Distance / Perspective on things about myself and my existence, but also forever in “i kind of hate school despite whatever parts are alright-to-good” club and did i need to rack up the tuition-etc Costs, would i have been able to get the Perspective in high school? probably in part but i also would’ve probably hated the [academic] part more and also would’ve been around most of the same ppl since kindergarten and yet i was sitting at the Odds N Ends lunch table probably just reading, so even though i was also not magically Socially Thriving in college, it was better from that angle too.......maybe could’ve told myself to do Backstage Theatre Stuff, since there was that issue of “i like to Perform but didn’t quite enjoy Family Members seeing it lmao”......compromise about your theatre gayness? who knows. generally tell myself to not worry about being Not Unruly as much, see: [the conflict is inevitable and too fundamental] lmao from many angles......who tf knows what primers on [Political Awareness] i could give a 10 yr old, that’s sure developing more in those years............idk like there’s Much 2 Consider but at the same time even Theoretically i’m not pressed to mess with the timeline lmao. like really just Maybe the small tip like “people are trans and specifically being nonbinary is A Thing and you are not obligated to Come Out To Parents” like, lord knows you get enough of their [i suspect and resent my progeny is not gender &/or sexualitying Correctly] without even bothering to confirm it for them
🍺 Favourite drink?
damb.......i like a Coffee alright for like, non-practical reasons i.e. all caffeine is likely to do is make me even sweatier than usual........tea can be pretty good, i like fruit / mint flavors (separately...).......sweet tea / lemonade combo (or just sweet tea ft. like a lemon wedge) pretty much fucks, or just regular lemonade on its own lol.......orange juice is okay, teresa was talking abt orange juice And apple cider last night like yeah apple cider’s okay, i went from liking apple juice to finding it intolerable and now i think i Can power through it w/o enthusiasm but apple cider is always great. grape soda is good and so is orange soda, sprite, ginger ale......and also Grape Juice is rly good......s/o to Water, idk that anyone’s enthused or anything on average but thank you for the hydration........idk i’m just out here like Sipppp........just wanna avoid anything Overall bitter really (tea / coffee always gotta be sweetened.....if i’m having Alcohol it’s gotta be like some cocktail and even then i've like multiple times tried and failed to just power through a pina colada. various unsweetened Teas have also just been like, i’d rather have the plain water. oh yeah and sparkling water, tf is going on there, Gross......avoided it wholly for years but last i checked cherry juice Specifically is intolerable 2 me) but idk i guess yeah if you take the Average of everything the answer is just like. water.........this just epitomizes my Asks Answers lmfao there’s no real answer but i take forever writing down whatever thought crosses my mind in the course of figuring it out and go tl;dr n/a or [the most boring answer possible]
⚡ Ever had a Greek Mythology phase?
i feel like i’m sort of forgetting some aspects to the “not really but kind of” answer like, most summers i’d Partake in some sort of daytime 2-3 week Activities camp lmao and i feel like one of them of yore mayyyybe had some kind of greek mythology theme to it b/c we had yknow like these smaller groups and i think we had to come up with Skits explaining greek myths b/c our like 4-5 person group did Arachne and i’m fairly sure that everyone else’s was along those lines lmao nothing Completely Different.......most of what i really remember was like, first of all it’s that “i cannot simply Think Of An Idea” problem lmao like tf do you mean Create A Skit......but it wasn’t just Me so we worked around it lol. and anyways the most Memorable thing was like, the day before we were gonna Present these skits we were like “uh how are we gonna have a Visible Spider’s Web” and one of the people were like “i have like a sheet with a spiderweb design on it” and we were like are you gonna forget to bring it though, and then she forgot to bring it, and when someone in our group like told An Adult like “uh what do we do if a sort of essential prop is Unavailable” we were unhelpfully brushed off with “you’ll just have to use your imaginations” and so we bitterly were like Oh Is THAT The Sentiment Then............and what we did is like, i don’t remember what [sort of chorus / narrator] greek god i happened to be playing but i was the one to hold up the “web” like wow amazing weaving here, as per the myth of arachne, and since we didn’t have anything and were told to just use our imaginations to rectify the issue, i held up the corners of Absolutely Nothing and announced it was sure an incredible woven spider’s web, i.e. the audience had to Imagine It.........a real memorable event of Inspired Pettiness from us like 9 yr olds or whatever the fuck. lmfao. of course nobody would’ve given a shit either way but we were somewhat pressed about it so it was fun to just like, get that Stress brushed off and in turn go “ah fuck it then” lmfao
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Survey #271
“some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.”
Do you cook on the stove at all, or just microwave? I just use the microwave. I'm scared of the stove lmao. Do you ever debate religion with your friends? Bruuuh no. I am so disinterested in debating about something that to me ultimately doesn't matter yet humanity has made so serious. Whatever happens after we die, happens, there's that. Just be a decent human being and go out knowing you did your best to make the world better than when you entered it. Do you keep your shampoo in the shower or someplace else? In the shower. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: Like... recently? Or in my entire life? I dunno about recently, but I guess the most shocking to me was when she vehemently called my sister something I won't repeat. Did your mom go to college? She was before the cancer. Ready to graduate, too, but that didn't go as planned thanks to, y'know, cancer. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Good question, no clue. I don't really pay attention to the canned foods. Maybe fruits? Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? Nah. Where do you put your keys when you come home? In my purse. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't have one. That I use, anyway. Sara gave me a Markiplier quote one that's a Holy Item on my shelf and instead of holding a beverage holds All My Love. Your bad habit that you love the most: UGH I hate how much I love soda. Invent a pop tart flavor: STORY TIME!!!! As a kid, there was this contest to design a type and you won like... a fucking huge supply of the newest flavor, which was at the time that wild berry whatever thing. My sister and I made one that I think I recall being pink with heart sprinkles and strawberry flavored, and we won. Guess who fucking hates the wild berry flavor now lmao. Okay but anyway if I was to invent one now... is there a BLUE raspberry flavor? Cuz a bitch loves blue raspberry flavored everything. Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: Sometimes. I don't currently have a pet that is, though. Are you proud of yourself for what you've accomplished? The few things I actually have, sure? I'm more ashamed of what I haven't. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nooooo no one would want to see me in that, least of all myself lmao. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? No. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? Uhhh I don't think so? Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream. Have you gotten your pets spayed? My cat is. That's like... the only pet we ever have fixed, sadly. My parents/Mom (depending on time period) could just never afford it. The only real reason we managed to get Roman neutered was because our sister directed us to a cheap on-the-go business where it was like... only $45, and Roman was marking the house badly so it was pretty urgent. Would you ever take in a stray animal? HA, that is the STORY of my family with cats. At this current time, most likely not. We don't need another pet right now, nevermind one of a mysterious background with my mom being sick. When is payday? N/A Have you ever walked on a runway before? No. How long is your workday? N/A Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? No. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Pink is superior to all colors. I'm really not a puke-green fan, but I mean... is anyone? What color dominates your wardrobe? Everything is B L A C K. What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. Are you colorblind, or do you know anyone who is? I'm not, but Jason's brother is colorblind to I think red and blue? Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? It greatly depends on the composition and subject matter of the photograph. I find great beauty in both. If I had to pick though, color usually appeals to me more. Are you one of those people who can taste, feel, or smell colors? No. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? Yes. Do you enjoy coloring? It tends to be my least-favorite part of the art process because that's where I always fuck shit up. Do you know anyone who is racist? Oh my, PLENTY. Welcome to the South. Are your nails painted any color(s) right now? They never are. Can you lift more than 100lbs? I probably CAN, but it would be very hard. What's your opinion on incest? It's fucking repulsive. Morally and negative from a scientific standpoint, anyway. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Orange. What video games did you play when you were younger? I was a massive gamer as a kid, teenager too, so I could put a hell of a lot here. But, I'll just imagine you're referring to when I was quite young. The Spyro games (save for Skylanders) were my LIFE, I loved Nintendogs, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, lots of games that were based on movies (like Madagascar and Finding Nemo are two I really enjoyed), uhhh... OH! And absolutely weird, but I loved hunting games. Like, I had a whooole lot, despite hating real life hunting even as a child. I think it was because I got to see wild animals, plus it could be calming to wander and scary, too, when things like wolves found you. Oh, and then there were fishing games, too. LOOK I just love(d) games. Would you ever get a tramp stamp? I hate that nickname. Having a tattoo literally anywhere does not equate you to a stereotype. Yes, because I want to be heavily tattooed anyway. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? No. Not that I didn't care at all, I just wasn't a giant fan. What's the ugliest species of animal? Lmao how mean. The blobfish immediately comes to mind, though. Looks like a ball of mucus shaped into an old man's face. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I used to be, now it's just like whatever. I like what I like. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? YouTube. Do people know a lot about you? Places on the Internet sure do lmao. I try to be much more private now online to a degree, depending on where. Irl, no. I'm too easily embarrassed/afraid of being judged for what makes me, me. Who was the last person you slept beside? Sara. Do you like Metallica? They're one of my all-time favorites and I trust NOBODY who claims to hate them. What's your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan of soup. What’s your best friend's favorite band? Her all-time favorite is Pink Floyd. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Ummm idr. Do you play Guitar Hero? Not really anymore, but I fuckin slayed that shit back in the day. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. Who was the last person to come to your house? My younger sister. What time do you usually eat dinner? Anywhere between 5:30 to like... 7:00 or so. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Not this current one, no. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No? Some people don't like hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? I don't know. Is covid gonna be history by then? It depends on a lot of things. What have you done so far this summer? *blink blink blink* What's your favorite punk band? Honestly, I don't even really separate bands by genres now because I don't know. There's so so many, plenty overlap, etc. etc, and people - especially those who enjoy rock/metal stuff, I've found - get all snobbish and "WELL ACTUALLY" when you "misgenre" or whatever. Which is better: cold or hot weather? COLD. FUCK hot weather. Anything above ~75*F is disgusting. Is photography something you enjoy? I'm an aspiring photographer so like- What’s the best flavor snow cone? I haven't had a legit snow cone in years... but we have a place called Pelican's Snowballs, which is really just like... snow cones in a cup? They are A M A Z I N G and strawberry is to die for. When driving, are you a speed demon or do you drive like your grandmother? I don't drive because I'm terrified to. Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello? No. Bet you were expecting "Jason," but no, I was weirded out that a stranger just comes up to me in the hall on the way to class and starts talking to me. Have you ever written poetry? Yeah. Do you have any addictions? Technology, ugh. And soda, rip. When was the last time you just laid and looked at the stars? Laid, many years ago one summer when Jason and I were just lying on the trampoline while my dad was grilling. What song reminds you of an ex? A lot. What color eyeliner do you prefer? Black. What was the last thing that you made with your own two hands? Like, made from scratch? Hell if I know. What’s the deepest water you will wade into? Like, shoulder-deep in the ocean. How many blades does your razor have? Three, I think? Highest grade of education you’ve completed? Just one semester of college. Lowest grade you’ve received on a test? Yikes, Fs in college math. He taught in such an abstract way that I failed like... every test, or nearly did. I was too afraid to ask questions continuously. Do you enjoy sitting in the sun or the shade more? There is NO situation where I would rather be in the sun. Do you enjoy going to arcades? Hell yeah. What parades do you like to go to? None. When’s the last time you went on a tirade? I ranted to Mom about the fucking ridiculous anti-maskers that are a big reason this motherfucking pandemic is worsening in America. With my mom being immunocompromised, it is something I take VERY goddamn seriously. It's not a difference in opinion - it's a difference in morality. Do you like to play charades? I loved to as a kid. Now it'd feel weird. Would you ever lead a crusade? I wouldn't want to lead anything. Have your parents ever forbade you from doing something? Aha, so as a kid, I had a game demo disc that showed the preview to Parasite Eve, and my sisters and I would secretly watch it despite it scaring us to where Mom did forbid us to click on it. And all these years later, I've played it and love it... ha ha. Otherwise, my parents have always been pretty open to letting us do stuff, save for things the usual parent doesn't like, like swearing. When’s the last time someone said something degrading to you? A few days back when I got into an argument on Facebook about some asshole teasing their newly-hatched cobra to where it kept striking at the tongs, hood flared and all. Apparently I had no idea what I was talking about, pointing out the snake was clearly stressed out. What’s the last homemade dish you’ve made? I legit haven't cooked a thing since Sara was here and I made her eggs for breakfast. Which was like, a year ago. Do you like lemonade? What flavor(s)? Broooo YES. Pink lemonade is better, but I enjoy just the classic kind, too. Has anyone ever serenaded you before? Fuck this question. Would you like to visit the Everglades? Lemme see them motherfuckin GATORS. Have you ever attended a masquerade ball before? No. Would be dope, though. Have you lost anyone to AIDS? No, thank god. Have you ever been paid for sex? Hell no. Have you ever had a maid in your home before? HUNNY we are too poor for that shit. Do you know how to do different types of braids in hair? No. When’s the last time you wore a Band-aid? Where and why? I have no clue. When was the last time you were afraid? Of what? A family friend was over here a couple days ago and she had this weirdest muscle cramp in her leg that brought her to the floor gasping for like over a minute. I was super scared, and Mom was too, as we had no idea what to do. I almost had to call 911. Crazy woman hasn't gone to the doctor about it, to my knowledge. Would you ever consider growing your hair out to your waist, or longer? NOOOO NO NO. I am probably having short hair for the rest of my life. Is there anywhere in your house that you're scared to be alone in? No. What is your favorite shoe brand? I don't have one. What weird things did you do as a small child? I was just a weird kid in general. I did a lotta stuff that would make people raise a brow. Who puts the most pressure on you in your life? My goddamn self. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments? Hell no, I turn red as a cherry and probably cry once I'm in private. Do you have a favourite actor/actress? If so, who? No. Do you like little kids, or do they annoy you? I feel uncomfortable around them. They're too brutally honest, I feel like every move I make is wrong, and I just generally feel incapable of handling them properly. Do you want a small or a large family when you get older? Well, I don't want any kids, so... Are you a good dancer? If not, do you enjoy dancing anyways? No and no. I'd be embarrassed. Have you ever lied to avoid getting into trouble? Yeah. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I'd say two weeks is pretty long, and I was supposed to stay an entire month. I only got out of that by going to court. Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself, or are you camera shy? I HATE being in front of the camera. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? I just like ketchup, mustard, and pickles, really. A bit of diced onion is fine, too. I prefer gas; I hate the charcoal-y taste. You are chosen to have lunch with the president. the condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Fuck that, I'd decline going to begin with. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? Popcorn, of course. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Pop-up ads. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding? N/A What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Probably like, wrestling. Golf. Sports in general. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? I haven't tried it yet. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? I always just use chocolate syrup. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? CHRIST, TRAFFIC. Elevators kinda scare me and I'm very scared of being stuck in one. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to anything? Halocene's cover of "Killing In The Name." Have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Who was the last person to give you money? I have no idea. Have you ever dreamed of someone you barely know? Actually yeah. Weird as hell. When was the most recent time, if ever, that you felt “impostor syndrome,” or that you felt unqualified to be somewhere? Hm. I suppose when I went to the doctor by myself for my foot. I'd never done an appointment without Mom at all, and I was veeery clueless to a lot of steps, questions, etc. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Some TV shows, I guess. Or games, even. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? No. I was expected to always be doing something. I'd consider that to be pretty unlucky, as it sounds boring and pointless. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I don't know. Mom has admitted me yelling has scared her before, though. I can yell pretty fucking loudly. But she herself never felt threatened. And do I think I could be seen as scary? Yes. Especially given my chronic fucking nightmares that almost always involve confrontation. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) I am VERY much a "words of affirmation" person. I NEED reassurance that I'm adequate and sincerely loved. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I become very snappy and more reclusive than usual. I cry really easily. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends on what it is, but I've generally needed to wean myself off of things when necessary. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I am very turned off by animal breeds/types that are subject to serious health issues, such as pugs, dachsunds, Persians, spider ball pythons... Just don't fucking breed them. Ironically, some of these are the cutest, but I care far more about the health of the animal. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yes and yes. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't believe so, no. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job, for Heaven's sake, and actually managing to keep it. I've proven inept in this area so far, so, I've already failed that. :^) If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? Jason and I kinda casually talked about kids early in our relationship, at which time I didn't see myself wanting them at all and he did at some point. It didn't really bother either of us, though; it was something we'd figure out if we actually got anywhere. Then he became the only person I could ever imagine myself having kids with. Life's funny.
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purplesurveys · 4 years
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754
Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don’t even have one of those yet.
Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? I'm not sure. I know she's told me before about being diagnosed with depression, but I’ve forgotten if it’s mild or severe, or if she has the whole thing or is just showing symptoms of it. She only mentioned it in passing so I figured it wasn’t something she wanted to touch on further.
Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? Probably but I’d have to be really careful to not end up shattering my legs or any other part of my body haha, but knowing me I’d probably land badly. I live on the second floor but the house isn’t that high, so I think I could give it a shot.
What would you do if you found out the last person you called was pregnant/got someone pregnant? I’d be very confused because she’s very gay and also because she’s only been staying at home since March.
Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? I wouldn’t be able to relate since store brand’s not really a thing here. Only SM makes their own stuff but they’re purposely cheaper because they’re meant to be of lower quality to begin with. Other than that, we don’t really have a choice but buy brand name.
Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Just the tampons, probably. I never need condoms so I have no reason to feel awkward buying them, and in fact I’ve volunteered to buy them for Angela whenever she feels shy haha; I definitely have no reason to be embarrassed buying pads because periods are a thing. I will likely feel most awkward getting tampons since I don’t know any one person who uses them where I live and it’ll most likely be seen as an unusual purchase since they’re quite uncommon.
If a stranger went in your room, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it? Probably. I have a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk, several Audrey Hepburn memorabilia, and a lot of pink stuff so it very much looks like a stereotypical girly room. I do think it’s kinda balanced out by the amount of WWE merch I own, but yeah otherwise my other stuff screams girly.
Are your parents gullible? When it comes to home stuff my mom is basically a witch; she can immediately tell if my dog peed somewhere, if I lost something, or if a dining chair isn’t positioned right. But when it comes to fake news on Facebook she will occasionally flock to them hahaha I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind her that phones DO NOT emit radiation from 12AM to 5AM and that it’s only a ploy to get people to sleep early lmfao. My dad is pretty intelligent and won’t be easily fooled about anything.
Do you still own a VCR? I know my parents owned one but I don’t know if they still brought it here when we moved 12 years ago or if they already threw it out.
About how much money have you spent on food in the past two weeks? :( Zero pesos. The only thing I’ve spent on this entire quarantine was a bottle of soju I asked my dad to buy and I paid him after.
If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care? Yes.
If you were looking for a new pair of shoes where would you go? UPTC since they have like ten shoe stores there.
How much was the last pair of shoes you bought? I haven’t had a new pair in like a year now, but the last one we bought cost arounddddd ₱4200, if I remember correctly.
What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? Gray. No, it was a gift from my parents.
Do you have a second home? I guess I count my childhood home my second home. My grandma and cousins remain in that house, so we visit from time to time and when we’re there I’ve noticed that I still retain the same tendencies and habits from when I still lived there.
Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking? I’ll use the last person I chatted in this context since I haven’t texted in a hot minute, and that person would be Andrew. I’d be quite concerned since they’ve told me they’ve quit smoking, so there must be something extremely stressful going on for them to start smoking. I’d check up on them immediately.
Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? I do super hate the smell of beer even though I have no other choice but to drink it sometimes; I still find the smell of cigarettes disgusting although my contempt for them has lessened over the last few years seeing as a lot of people I know are smokers so I’ve been around that smell a lot, and also because I’ve started too. I’ve never been around weed and I don’t know how it smells.
Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Younger by a month.
Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? Not really? What I get most frequently is people thinking I was grumpy at first, but tbh I am pretty grumpy so they aren’t far off from the truth. With me it’s usually a what you see is what you get thing whether someone’s meeting me for the first or the 78th time.
Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Nope, not a thing here. I’ve always found the variety of cookies so fascinating though and I’ve always wanted to try the Thin Mints and Samoas since they’re what I hear about the most :(
Do you like waffles? They’re okay, though I only ever eat waffles with fried chicken and never just by themselves. I prefer pancakes.
Do you watch birthing videos on a day-to-day basis? Nah man wtf? I have no reason to be doing that lmao.
Do you find piercings/tattoos attractive? I don’t find either attractive. I get curious when I see tattoo because I wonder what the story behind it is and what it means to the person who has it, that’s all. As for piercings, I don’t really like them < Pretty much. Like I don’t go looking around for tattoos on a person to find them attractive; I just like hearing the histories behind them. Same with piercings, I don’t need them to be attracted to someone.
Would you talk to someone you don’t know on the internet? Only on social media that I’m already familiar with and comfortable in, like on this Tumblr, or Twitter, sometimes Facebook. I wouldn’t go to like Quora to ask something or join forums or even post anything on Reddit.
How often do you drink Monster? Never. Energy drinks scare me lol.
Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? I’ve made those for myself, but not with friends. I remember filming a house tour with my flip phone’s video camera back when I was like, 8 hahaha I was ahead of our time for sure.
Do you like to buy those Warped Tour compilations? I don’t even know those existed. I just knew of Warped Tour and that all the cool bands of the time would play there, but that’s it. I’m clueless about everything else that goes on in there.
Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? You mean just a restaurant? Inside, for sure. I would never agree to eating outside and am always willing to wait a few extra minutes. I hate having to contend with passersby while I eat my food as I feel that it ruins the experience as well as the time I have with the person/s I’m eating with.
Do you own a nightgown? No but I had duster dresses that I’d wear to bed as a kid, if that counts lol.
Have you ever made a house out of a giant cardboard box? Probably not. My mom wouldn’t allow us to play with those and she’d immediately view them as trash that needs to be thrown out.
Have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom? No. I usually used the sheets as a cape or robe, then I’d pretend to be a queen.
Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone? My paternal grandparents do. My maternal grandfather used to regularly use a phone before he passed. My maternal grandmother refuses to learn :(
Have you ever had sex or something like it? Hahahaha ‘something like it.’ Yeah, I’ve had sex.
Have you ever read a George Orwell book? I tried reading 1984 when I was like 13 but didn’t understand it from the get-go. I haven’t continued it since but honestly I’m very open to revisiting it one of these days.
Have you ever worn fishnets? I don’t remember ever doing so. I feel like it’d be so uncomfortable; I hate wearing stockings as it is.
How many piercings and tattoos do you have? I only have my ears pierced and no tattoos < Sameeee.
Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? Nope.
In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? Hahahahaha yeah, just out of curiosity. I’ve never seen anything interesting, but I keep trying.
Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? Be eaten out right now. I’ve had too much abstinence from sexual activity for my own liking lol < Ok it’s 1 in the afternoon but SAME lol
Do you always wear your seat belt? Honestly, no and it’s a shitty habit that I need to correct ASAP. I never notice that I’m not wearing them until it’s one of my parents riding with me and they scold me for driving out of the village without a seatbelt. I do put it on when I enter bigger cities with more police patrolling the area like Ortigas and Makati, or when I drive out of town, but usually it stays off.
Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. I’ve had a crush on a teacher, but I obviously didn’t legit like him haha.
Have you ever been in a play? Just the annual school plays we do that all students are required to be a part of. I forgot to mention this in a recent survey but I was in an acting club in Grade 1 and I played Cinderella’s prince in our culminating play, heheh.
Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about? Sure.
Is there ice cream in your freezer? Yeah. My parents love ice cream so we always have an ample supply of their favorite flavors. Sometimes we’ll also have a tub of cookies and cream since it’s our (the kids’) favorite flavor.
Have you ever started to laugh but played it off as a cough successfully? For sure. I always laugh at inappropriate moments so I do fake coughs a lot.
Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? I suppose so. Hate is a strong word and I’d rather not use it, but while the music my girlfriend listens to wouldn’t be what I’d tune into on a regular basis, the lyrics are admittedly very well-written and intelligent and reflective, and I don’t mind it when she shares her favorite songs with me :)
Does your bathroom have a window? Yes but they’re high up on the wall.
Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? No, I’m really scared of threading :( Everyone always gets out of the salon with their eyebrow area all red and tingling and it’s enough to scare me off of threading forever lmao. I’m not very conscious about how my own eyebrows look, so I just let them grow out.
When you were younger did you read the A Series Of Unfortunate Events books? I’ve only seen snippets of the movie.
Who was the last band you saw live? Paramore. I miss them already.
Do you believe prayer really works? I’m not gonna invalidate the fact that it works for a lot of people. But it’s just not my cup of tea, and I honestly don’t know how to feel whenever someone says they pray for me since I don’t believe in it anyway. Of course I thank them, but on the inside I’m always a little puzzled.
Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? Never been. I know Stereo Hearts and that was always a fun song to sing, but it’s not my favorite either.
Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I don’t really have either, but I’d go with frosted flakes I guess?
Have you been on a date in the park? I would love to have one of these if we actually had parks. How nice would it be to take a long stroll, have a picnic, and just sit on a bench talking for hours?
Ever dated someone you were best friends with first? Yes. At first I didn’t want to risk it since we were reeeeeally close, but I don’t regret asking her out.
Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? Thankfully no. Although my grandpa and his sister did pass from heart attacks and I’m starting to be scared that it might develop to be a pattern for some of us. But other than that, both sides of the family are relatively healthy.
Do you have asthma? No. But Gab does and I get really worried once her breathing becomes labored at night. I keep telling her to get a new nebulizer after her old one broke, but I dunno what’s become of that request of mine.
Are tongue piercings slutty? No, and it’s not like being slutty is a bad thing lol.
Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? No one in real life but I do still have a crush on CM Punk who’s turning 42 this year hahah. I don’t think that crush is ever gonna go away.
Last person to take off your pants, besides you? Gab.
Do you remember those cool highlighters that smelled like popcorn? I knew about markers and ballpens, but not highlighters.
Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? No thanks. I’d rather have somewhere to go home to or rest at by the end of the day, and if I was gonna do this I prefer to be with someone who knows a thing or two about surviving in the woods.
Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? Nope. The worst thing I’ve done was write on one of the desks in grade school.
Least favorite alcoholic drink? Out of the ones I tried, I didn’t like whisky at all. Too bitter for me < Twins. I hated the ever living shit out of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels when I tried them.
Have you ever kissed someone named Paul or Luke? I haven’t. I have a cousin named Luke that I used to babysit and I kissed him a lot when he was a baby, if that counts lol.
How did you meet the last male you texted? I met them at the Marcos heroes’ burial protests. I have no idea how I started talking to them, but I think it was because they were wearing a Nexus shirt and I told them I like it, and we started talking from there.
Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? Yup. I wasn’t allowed to make an email address when I was young so I had to sneak around and make a fake Yahoo username so my parents would never find me. I don’t remember what it was anymore but it was for sure embarrassing so I’m just grateful my brain threw that memory out.
Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? OMG this survey is so long. I put it on my left hand.
Do you have a bull ring through your nose? Nope, no piercings.
Do you and your dad get along? Better than my mom and I.
Can you see your purse right now? Nah, it’s in my room upstairs.
Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? I am not. I haven’t had a reason to in a while.
Are there products in your hair? Just shampoo and conditioner.
When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? No. Whaaaat, those exist? I just blow my nose or just live through the stuffiness.
Do you actually like sneezing? I love it, it’s such an underrated sensation lmao. It feels better when you’ve actually been needing to sneeze for a while and it finally comes through.
Have you taken a shower yet today? Nope, I usually take them at night.
Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? I have two.
Do you wear skirts a lot? Not really, I don’t like skirts because I feel exposed wearing them. I prefer shorts.
Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Nope.
How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? I can remember five pairs right now, but I have many other kinds of bottoms in my closet like culottes and leggings.
Do you like hoodies? They’re okay. I find them more comfortable if they belong to someone else, hah.
Big ones or the form fitting kind? Form-fitting if I’m buying for myself; big ones if I’m borrowing from Gabie.
Do you wear polo shirts a lot? I never wear them. My mom made me wear them often as a kid and it made me feel like a boy, so I’ve kinda had a predisposition to be wary of them as I got older since I was teased frequently enough about being a tomboy as a kid as it is.
Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think we probably did.
Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I have one big regret and the rest of my ‘regrets’ are small and are stuff like “I regret not picking up food on my way home because I’m now hungry.” The way I’ve always thought is that I did the things I did before because I chose to do them and I was happy to do them, and I’ve honestly felt barely any regret even though things didn’t turn out the best. There’ve been mistakes but I’ve just chosen to learn from them instead of regretting them at the same time. Do you love your computer? Love it.
Do you drink coffee? Yeah. I’ve been doing it a lot this quarantine but I think it’s been giving me headaches, so I stopped for now.
Do you basically like all of your clothes? No. There are some at the bottom of the pile that I’m no longer crazy about anymore.
Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? My mom. She tends to know what looks best on me, and she also pays for the clothes hahaha.
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