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vonkarma2 · 2 years

Note

Also do Joanna for the analysis?

Let’s go my own oc B) she’s a side character so this may be kinda hard

My overall opinion on the character: I actually like her personality (and her design I’ve never posted any art of her I don’t think so like take my word for it I guess lol) but other aspects of her character are kinda hard to balance like I don’t want to be 100% serious like have her character directly represent real situations that we actually have bc she’s also supposed to be like a funny character who does insane things, and that has like emotional moments and an impact on the plot etc etc. So I don’t want to go too over the top with her but I also don’t want to take her too seriously and I don’t want to make her sympathetic but I don’t want to make her too like hateable that you completely hate her every scene she’s in because what I was going for with her character was that you’d start out liking her because she seems great but then every so often she’d do something terrible and it’d remind you not to trust her or whatever, which is kinda hard to do but whatever. But one thing I really like abt her character is her relationship with her son, I felt like I could umm relate to it I guess even though it’s of course not as extreme, but yeah I feel like that subplot has a lot of potential to be really interesting and sad to me.

One virtue they have: Well first of all she is a great parent she loves her son would do anything for him has helped him in many situations they are very close etc etc Ive talked abt that before though. So I want to talk about another thing umm ok one thing about her is that she is not intimidated by anyone and doesn’t let fear of consequences stop her from doing what she thinks is important like ever since she was really young she has been that way. So this has the potential to have terrible consequences considering she is a very bad person. But at least she isn’t like cowardly or whatever

One flaw they have: I’ve said this before with Joanna she’s like the best interpersonally but more broadly she’s like straight up evil. Like in that she’s willing to torture/kill people for research even when it isn’t strictly necessary just because it’s easier. She doesn’t actively enjoy it except in a morbid curiosity way she’s just able to completely shut off feeling bad for them because it’s for the sake of something she believes in. I feel like unlike many other Relesians she’s working with she doesn’t believe in cultural superiority or anything like that (whereas several of the people she works with and hates do (those same people eventually try to kill her by the way))… but she does think other governments losing their autonomy to Reles would be a good thing because she doesn’t trust their processes to be as efficient or reliable or whatever. In the end she is incredibly self righteous to the point of not trusting anyone but herself to make what she considers to be the right decisions (which is a major contrast with Lucia who doesn’t think she has the ability to impact anything and all and feels like she has no idea what to do whereas Joanna has a vision for like how the entire world should be and believes in it wholeheartedly)and also shockingly callous when it comes down to it, like she’s capable of being very compassionate and considerate when she wants to be but when it becomes inconvenient she doesn’t care at all. This is several flaws I’m sorry

Favorite moment from their arc: I like the part where she killed the king of Zeolan hell yeah get him fuck that guy. Shot him in the head let’s go. There are other moments from her arc that are better character wise or honestly more dramatic/interesting to me but this is my favorite part bc like she was almost assassinated for moving too quickly/being an unpredictable rogue element so they were honestly kind of regretting trusting her. But their attempt failed so she was like ok bitch you thought that was too fast what now. And killed him

Least favorite moment from their arc: I’m going to answer this from the perspective of like what has been the most difficult to come up with I have to say her introduction and interaction with Rocio. I have no idea how that would go it’s killing me. And because the reason for their interaction is not fleshed out well at all like the actual plot surrounding it I really have to develop that I guess

One relationship they have with another character: I guess I can only really talk abt her and Joseph so here it is. I have talked about it before though but basically he doesn’t have friends his own age in real life he was bullied at school which he also sucks at he’s very shy with people his own age, she’s close with him encourages him supports him and wants nothing but the best for him. However this closeness is eventually ruined when he finds out about various deeply fucked up things she’s been doing leaving him feeling alone and like he has to stop her somehow, and also they like live in the same place so he’s very paranoid around her. Which leads to her becoming somewhat concerned like she’s not suspicious of him at all but she is very worried especially because it just gets worse over time. Which is great because that’s yet another thing she doesn’t need since Rocio stole from her + those fuckers in the state government won’t listen to anything she says, so she’s generally pretty frustrated. Ok that’s off topic but yeah it’s important that their relationship has basically been 100% positive (although of course Joseph became more reserved as he got older, and she doesn’t like how he’s prone to wasting all day doing nothing, but that’s just typical stuff and she genuinely doesn’t mind that much) up until this point so it’s literally like the most reliable thing either of them had in their lives has been ruined. Kinda depressing he’ll be ok I swear he has other family and even to an extent friends. She won’t though

One relationship I'd like to see explored from this character: She really only interacts with 2 named characters or like has a relationship with them personally. Maybe her and Rocio because they are very similar (Rocio’s not As bad but still) but hate each other, or at least Joanna hates Rocio. So having her learn more about them could be interesting, it would definitely not change her mind though because she hates them not for who they are but for what they represent. Strangely enough her reasons for this are actually pretty reasonable like she’s right abt the wizard system being pretty fucked. So I guess she might even be able to convince Rocio of that too (<they don’t have any love for the system either they just see it as a vehicle through which to achieve their own goals).

What I would have liked to see happen with them in the media: Hmmm well besides things that I’ve already determined are going to happen I’d like to do something with what she does like right after the story which is go into hiding in a remote town or whatever forever with no hope of ever achieving her ideals. So from her perspective the world lost out on a utopian future mostly because of her actions, and even worse she can never see her son again. Which I suppose is somewhat sad but she had it coming soooo 😋😋😋 sadder for him I guess

Extra bonus opinion: I think she’s pretty funny here are some comedic aspects of her character

she loves Joseph so much her thoughts of him are as equally high priority as like her evil world domination plans

similarly to Gloria she will say whatever she wants including being incredibly rude because she doesn’t believe in dishonesty. People need to know that she does not like them and thinks they’re stupid. (

willing to kill at very little provocation

the fact that I have to work really hard not to make the end of her story too similar to Walter White. Spoilers for breaking bad I guess

#this ended up so long omg #my ocs #joanna andino #yeah but do you see what i mean like balancing serious vs comedic aspects and sympathetic vs unsympathetic moments #I definitely also don’t want to have it be like a tell not show thing like say she’s not good because she kills people #but then not actually go in depth with that and have it be like an informed trait or have it feel completely out of character #this might just be me but I hate when shows kill characters and you’re supposed to take it seriously #but they don’t put enough emphasis on the death #so it feels like it doesn’t matter yk to the characters or the media overall #and so even though it’s ofc kinda silly and it’s sci fi murder yk #I want to actually like convey the weight of the bad things she does #which is important to Joseph’s character as well

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sunnysheep · 1 year

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ok so there has been major progress in the Sheep Plays Hockey saga: i have successfully gone to four (4) adult learn to play hockey sessions!

impressive, right? im winning at life fr fr

so a few points of interest in no particular order:

my first session, we started by doing laps around the rink and transitioning from forward to backward skating on the blue line. ok. fine. i can do this (<- lying). cue to me doing an absolute belly flop slide right next to the boards where this coach ass looking mf was just leaning and chatting with the instructors. i think i surprised them lol. dude was super cool about it and gave me very earnest advice about center of gravity and how to better balance (really nice guy, i think he felt bad for me 🙃)

side note: everyone is so supportive!? like honestly i just showed up one day and was like "sup i want to play hockey" and everyone made an effort to get to know my name and everything. Completely different from my experiences with figure skating where everyone did their own thing!

side note on the side note: everyone found out i am a complete newbie pretty quick and they are soooo supportive of me. like i always finish way behind everyone during drills but they cheer me on and its actually so amazing.

glove taps can mean so much. enough said.

as i had never played hockey with a stick/puck before going to these sessions, my stick handling and passing could use some work to put it lightly. But! i have made some serious improvements and also gained some massive respect to the pros. the puck is literally my worst enemy rn. slippery fucker

my funniest accomplishment is making crisp tape-to-tape passes to the opposing team in 3 on 3s 🤪! (unlike geno, i do not make tape-to-tape passes to my team to balance it out so ummm oopsies)

my favorite accomplishment is probably figuring out how to stop on one foot! (umm lets just ignore my two-foot hockey stop we dont need to look at it) 😎😎😎

hockey gear Stinks. Bad. especially second hand gear! especially when the only place to hang it up to dry is right next to your bed! do yourself a favor and dont hang it up right next to your bed. i have yet to come up with a solution other than dousing it with teatree oil spray immediately after getting home from the rink but at least i am the only person who has to suffer it

shout out to the two men on my team during my last 3 on 3. they are the real ones. "just pass it to where no one else is, we'll get it" and then they did. kings!!

Overall, I have had a blast learning to play hockey so far. It has done nothing but encourage my obsession with watching hockey players skate. And now i can be like "hey, i can do that! not well, but i can do that!" and that is sooo cool fr. I literally vibrate in anticipation before my weekly sessions and it so so amazing. 🥰🥰🥰

#sheep plays hockey #mainly doing this for my future self to look back on #my belly flop transition was certainly a sight to behold and it is still so funny to me #the coaches looking on like: ohhh noo oh no shes going to need serious help #also my getup is a LookTM #as much yellow as possible + second-hand gear mishmash + super short pigtails bc hair on neck is a major no no #fashion icon tbh #also i think more men should incorporate pigtails to eliminate the sweaty hair neck feeling. i think they could do it. i Believe

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forever-rogue · 3 years

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hi! if you’re accepting requests from prompt list #2, does angst to fluff count lol. 5 from angst, 49 from fluff lists! with reader thinking din loves someone else 🥺 i like mando x omera but.. reader who perhaps doesnt have the skills omera has and sees how din looks at her… THE ANGST 😌🤌

AN | Me, writing some Din? It’s been a hot minute, but here we are. I miss him 🥺

Warnings | None

Pairing | Din x Fem!Reader

Masterlist | Din, Main

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A small sigh, a wistful little thing, escaped your lips as you studied the gently lapping water of the lake. It was calm here, a peaceful, tranquil place that served as a welcome refuge after all that you'd been through in the last few years. Sometimes it seemed almost too good to be true. The distant sounds of laughter met your ears as children ran around and played, carefree as could be. Sometimes you wished you were that young again; innocent to life’s darker sides. Unfortunately that wasn’t a possibility, but for now you’d take the peace and stillness you could get.

Pulling off your boots and socks, you quickly tossed them to the side. The water was warm as you relaxed and leaned back, closing your eyes and soaking up the warmth of the summer sun. It wasn’t until you heard the familiar voice that your eyes slowly snapped back opened. Your heart constricted slightly as you spotted Din nearby speaking to Omera. He seemed so happy, in a much better mood than you’d seen in a long time. It was all her, and you remained invisible. Which, when it came to most things wasn’t too bad, but sometimes you wished he would see you.

“Is somebody jealous?” you hadn’t even heard the bounty hunter walk over; you supposed that’s one of the many reasons he was the best in the galaxy. Boba offered a small grimace before sitting down next to you. You shrugged him off staring back into the water. You were not about to get into anything with Boba; that man was insufferable and usually right.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you brushed him off, trying desperately not to look back at Din. Instead, you focused on the water and watched the tiny fish whiz through the water; a few of them brushed by your feet, sending a ticklish shiver up your spine, “I’m just...enjoying the calm afternoon sun and soaking up as much peace before we inevitably leave again.”

“That’s how this all works,” Boba sighed as you nodded in agreement, “you knew that from the day you became my apprentice.”

“I know,” you whispered, “but I hoped at one point I could...walk away and have a normal life. Like this.”

“Normal is all relative,” he had a point as you huffed lightly and stood up, brushing off your pants and reaching for your boots, “but if this is what you want, what you truly want, you know you’re welcome to leave whenever. I would not hold you back from the life you wanted.”

“I know, Boba,” you put your hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, “the problem is that I don’t really know what I want...I think I know but...it’s more than that.”

“Of course,” he agreed, casting a quick glance at the object of your affections before turning back to you, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Either way, it will work out, just as it always does,” you swallowed the lump that had welled up in your throat, “Boba, why are you doing this?”

“I just want to make sure you’re happy - that you know that you have choices in what you’re doing,” he said like it was no big deal, but to you it meant so much. This hardened, sometimes gruff man really did have a heart of gold underneath it all, “should you want to part ways, I would understand. Should you want to stay, I’d be more than happy to have you with me. I don’t know what the future holds for myself, Fennec, or Djarin, but you know it will not always be easy. But sometimes you have to decide what’s most important.”

“Yes,” you answered softly, “thank you, Boba.”

He remained silent as you laced up your boots before padding away, back towards the village. You knew you had a lot to think about and if you wanted things to change at all, you’d have to figure out something. You cast a glance over your shoulder and you were almost positive that you’d spotted Din looking in your direction. But it was all a trick of the mind; it had to be. Why would he spare you more than a passing thought anyways?

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was late by the time he found you; much later than any reasonable person should have been outside, but you couldn’t sleep. There was too much on your mind to silence, and if you managed to, it was short-lived and another thought came to replace the previous one. Eventually you’d given up and wandered out of the small hut home that had been acting as your own home for the last couple of months. You knew the area was safe and wanted to enjoy the temperate night air before it turned to a crisp fall breeze, or worse - you’d be gone.

Small bugs chirped happily along with the soft songs of nightbirds as you walked around the sleeping village; you weren’t scared here, you felt safe and at home. But as you rounded a corner, a gloved hand reached out and grabbed your wrist. A small yelp of surprise left your lips as you pulled into a wall of cool metal - beskar.

“Shhh,” Din placed a finger to his lips as you relaxed when you realized it was him, “you’ll wake everyone up. It’s just me.”

“Dank Farrik!” you hissed at him, “how was I supposed to know that? You could have been a murderer!”

“Well….you should be in bed sleeping.”

“So should you!” your arms crossed over your chest as you stared him down, and eventually he huffed in defeat, realizing you were right. He couldn’t sleep either, plagued by the choices he knew that he had to make sooner rather than later. He hadn’t expected you to be out as well, “what are you doing anyway?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck nervously, a flash of...something in his dark eyes, “I thought that some fresh air would clear my head.”

“Same here,” you admitted reluctantly, leaving the two of you in an awkward silence. You wished you had enough bravery (or perhaps even stupidity) in your body to just say something to him then and there. At least it would be out of the way; but you weren’t feeling anything but nervous butterflies fluttering in your tummy, “I...umm...I guess I’ll get back. Try and sleep.”

“Hey-” he reached for your arm gently before you could get too far away. You turned around and raised an eyebrow as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, “d-did I do something wrong?”

“What? What are you talking about?” the question caught you off guard, but judging by the look on his face, you could sense that this was something he had been thinking for some time.

“You’ve been different lately...it almost feels like you’re avoiding me.”

“Oh DIn, you’re being ridiculous,” and yet the accusation was very true.

“You’re fine around Boba, Fennec...everyone else. But every time I’m around it feels like you can’t wait to get away,” you should have known that he would have noticed sooner or later. The man was more observant than you’d cared to admit, “if I did something, please tell me.”

“You can’t be serious, Djarin. There’s nothing wrong…”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been doing anything. You’ve got too much free time and your mind is running wild.”

“Tell me it’s not true then.”

“Din-”

“Tell me.”

“The problem is that you’re in love with someone else,” the words were out of your mouth before you even contemplated them. You were mortified and in some ways you were relieved. At least it was all out in the open now and you were able to let the chips land where they may.

“Oh,” was his only response as his head tilted to the side and he looked at you in confusion, “what?”

“I...kriff,” you sighed, “I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry - forget I said anything.”

“Who am I in love with?”

“What do you mean?” tears welled up in your eyes at his response; almost like a cruel joke, “you know, everyone knows! Omera; and why wouldn’t you be? She’s wonderful - kind, smart, beautiful … everything. Part of me wants to dislike her, but I can’t because she’s such a good person but it kills me a little bit to know that you love her and you’ll never even think twice about me. I know that’s super selfish but it’s the way I feel; and judging from how this is going I think I’m making the right decision by leaving. By myself.”

Din said nothing as a few tears rolled down your cheeks. You laughed bitterly at yourself before realizing that this might have been the best decision after all. You couldn’t stay after this.

It wasn’t long before Din came to his senses and ran after you, calling your name and catching up with a few easy strides. You came to a reluctant stop as you sniffled and waited for him to say something, despite the fact that you weren’t sure you wanted to hear whatever he had to say.

“I-I-I’m not in love with Omera,” he insisted as it became your turn to look at him in bewilderment, “I’m in love with you.”

“What?”

“I’ve been talking to her about you,” he confessed, “about how to do...this sort of thing. But then you started avoiding me and I wondered if maybe I’d read the signs wrong and you didn’t like me at all. At least not in that way.”

“I don’t….what?” you heard his words but weren’t able to fully comprehend them. This had to be some sort of weird fever dream. Din sighed - his trademark sigh - before ripping off his gloves and gently putting his hands on the sides of your face. He was hesitant at first, to see if you would stop him. But you didn’t...instead you relished in his touch, the feel of his bare skin on yours sending electric shivers throughout your whole body.

After a few moments of quietly studying your features, he leaned in and slowly pressed his lips against yours. It wasn’t a proper kiss by any means, hardly more than a ghost of one, but it felt...strangely wonderful. You looked at him in disbelief as he pulled back; was this really the same man that you’d met all that time ago that wouldn’t even tell anyone his name or let them see his face?

“Oh.”

“Can we go inside?” he whispered softly, “can we talk?”

“Yeah,” you agreed gently. He reached for your hand but before he could take it in his, you stopped him and pressed another sweet, barely there kiss to his lips. A tinge of pink colored his cheeks as you beamed at him, “now we can go.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Pedro Character Taglist (strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you - please check your settings. Strikethroughs will get removed if not taggable)

@qhbr2013 @greeneyedblondie44 @dodgerandevans @cannedsoupsucks @april-showers-and-flowers @klaine-92 @softboiipascal @rpcvliz @im-an-adult-ish @dobbyjen @thevoiceinyourheadx @niki-xie @jediknight122 @xxlovingfandomsxx @mrpascals @startrekkingaroundasgard @welcometothepedroverse @ilikemymendarkandfictional @actual-spawn-of-satan @wanderlust69 @lazybeeches @beskarboobs @someday-when-you-leave-me @leaiorganas @salome-c @rosiefridayrogersunday @madslorian @artsymaddie @haildoodles @windfallss @spookispunk @nikkixostan @edencherries @stillshelbs @djarinbarnes @alyispunk @ayamenimthiriel @gallowsjoker @its–fandom–darling @star017 @amneris21 @empress-palpat1ne @cable-kenobi @gooddaykate @princeofdorne @natthebattygeologist @riddikulus-obsessions @sleep-tight1 @mamacitapascal @14mcmd1122 @leaiorganas @hoodedbirdie @kenzieam @dobbyjen @jedi-mando @milkxxkookies @lazybeeches @general-latino @jediknight122 @cosmoschick @recklessworry @jaime1110 @thorins-queen-of-erebor @thatnerdwriter @bestintheparsec @pascalisthepunkest @kristeng42 @rosie-posie08

#din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x fem!reader #the mandalorian #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #the mandalorian x reader

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goldenroutledge · 3 years

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i have another headcanon request which is- going shopping with sarah

shopping with sarah

a/n: yay i love this request, thanks rachel!! hope you like it! i would’ve had this posted earlier in the day but you can thank tumblr crashing for that lol

sarah cameron masterlist

sarah loved to shop

whether it was in store or online, she always kept her closet full to the brim

and subsequently, so did you

once you got together you became her shopping buddy, not that you were complaining

at least once every three months, sarah set up this mandatory shopping day

marking it on both of your calendars and putting it in your phones so neither of you forgot

she made a whole itinerary of which stores you’d be going to

carving out time during the day to have lunch too

sarah knew all of the best sales

you asked about a store? she knew the current sale by heart

usually she picked a saturday for the day of shopping

calling it ‘shop til we drop day’

the morning of, she’d usually let herself into your house and jump on your sleeping figure in bed, smothering you in kisses as you woke up

“it’s still so early, babe. why?” you questioned in a groan

“umm. you didn’t forget did you?”

“forget what?” you responded, deciding to mess with her.

“shop til we drop day, y/n! are you serious? you really forgot?”

you jumped up, pulling the covers off to show your outfit

“gotcha!”

she shoved you playfully, moving off the bed

“babe! i thought you forgot!”

“of course i didn’t forget. how could you have let me?” you quipped, gathering your things. “now let’s go shop til we drop.”

ok so now for the actual shopping

you both kinda split up once you were in the store

sarah reminded you to not pick out the same color you always do, telling you that any color looks good on you so you should take advantage of it

so you tried to keep that in mind

you both would pick out clothes for not only yourself but for each other too

because you knew each other’s styles

and because sarah kept a note of your sizes in her phone, she was always spot on

once you figured out her secret, you made one for her too

you shopped on different sides of the store to avoid picking out the same things out for one another

and then after some time, you’d both meet by the dressing rooms

exchanging the clothes you picked out for the other while going in to try on your selections too

then whoever gets done changing last will do the secret code knock to let the other know they can come in the dressing room

so you can evaluate and compliment the shit out of each other’s outfits

all while you decide on which pieces to add to the yes pile, the no pile, and the maybe-but-i-could-live-without-it-pile

definitely some reassuring moments too if you’re not really feeling the fit

“what do you think?” you asked, scanning yourself in the mirror, chewing on your bottom lip in uncertainty

“i think you look beautiful. put that in the yes pile before i have to.” sarah teased, kissing your exposed shoulder softly.

“you think so?” you questioned. “i mean what if it looks worse at home? what if it’s just the fancy dressing room mirrors deceiving our eyes?”

“stop that, y/n. it looks perfect now and it will look just as perfect at home, too.”

ok so let’s talk about surprises

in the event that sarah was out shopping without you, she’d more often than not buy you something

one time, a diamond necklace

giving it to you as soon as she saw you next, clasping it around your neck as you stared at it in the mirror, in complete awe

it was beautiful

“this necklace made me think of you, i hope you like it.”

but in reality everything made her think of you

when your eyes caught the number at the bottom of the receipt laying on her dresser, your eyes shot open and your heart skipped a beat

“sarah! you really need to stop buying everything, you’re dad’s gonna kill you.”

it’s true. once, ward grounded her for a month because she maxed out her limit on her credit card.

but you still climbed up the house and snuck in her window to see her hehehe screw you ward

anyways

she’d always brush it off

“hey! don’t look at the receipt, it doesn’t matter!”

“but sarah— that’s so much money! i feel kinda bad for accepting this. it’s so pretty but that price is so painful.”

she raised her eyebrows, smirking as she could find her way out of this semi-lecture

“then i guess you could say you’re worth the pain, my love.”

taglist: @ilovejjmaybank @missevi @nxsmss @cameronsrafe @msgorillagripcoochie @bibliophilewednesday @tovvaa @rudybarnes @annab-nana @babeyglo @sunsetholland @moniamaybank @outerbankspreferences @laneybobeczko-g @jjpouggues @j-j-may-bank @heartdose @eifhames @outerbankies @amourtentiaa @k-roleplay20 @mildkleptomaniac

#sarah cameron #sarah cameron obx #sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron x you #sarah outer banks #sarah obx #obx #outer banks fic #outer banks fanfiction

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shoichee · 3 years

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hiii tysm for keeping this fandom alive... i was wondering if i could request hugging hcs for Moriyama, Kasamatsu, and Hayakawa? like what kind of hugs do they give, when, etc.?

BANGER REQUEST THIS IS SUCH A UNIQUE ONE I LOVE THIS THANK YOU ANON.... i hope you’re still around :^)

[Headcanons]

Moriyama Yoshitaka

this guy is literally the definition of touch-starved LOL

once he finds his special someone, they’re gonna need to prepare themselves for TONS of verbal affection… even if they don’t get his convoluted words half the time

that being said, he wouldn’t be awkward with hugs, but it’s his misinterpretations and poor executions of the hugs that make things awkward

in his MIND, he THINKS he’s being mega suave and totally seducing you with his mannerisms, and you’re just here like, “umm… you know you can just… ask for a hug if you wanted one.”

“According to my research though, it’s better to approach this more poetically in order to be seen in a more profound light with the person you like.”

“Huh? Are you actually trusting the internet more than me about what I want—”

“Sorry, sorry, here,” he would mumble in defeat and immediately bring you to nestle your head against his chest

this type of interaction would be very frequent in the early stages of your shared relationship, where Moriyama would try to salvage his poor social skills by hugging you against body, and him putting his hand to cradle your head while the other is around your waist

of course, even if you were exasperated with him, you can’t help but eventually hug him back and snuggle closer

canon: he’d have unique scents on him every once in a while, because he’s someone to use scented deodorant sprays (like citrus, in the Replace novel)

he’d actually be unintentionally charismatic with his actions? like, if he doesn’t open his mouth and wordlessly hugs you, his body just knows how to accommodate you:

sad? happy? clingy? affectionate? lazy? when he sees your current mood, he just somehow knows what type of hugs to give you…

he thinks the internet advice is working, but in reality, he’s just inherently very in-tuned with people’s emotions; for example, he’s one of the few people who can see straight through Kasamatsu and his inner struggles, and he’s always the first person to suggest roundabout ways to make him relax

so because of this, sometimes he’d make the most confusing statements and random trivias he found from his “research” just to try to look for an opportunity to sneak up and glomp on you “tactfully” (never works, and you end up sighing that *sigh* before letting yourself be open on purpose for Moriyama to sneak in with a hug)

this dude is the type of guy who’d find every opportunity to hug you in front of his teammates to subtly show off how “experienced” he was in dating LOL and then he’d probably say something like, “If you follow the signs I told you guys about, you’ll all be able to have cute dates too, you know…” all while giving that little comical pout and index finger point at them… maybe flipping his bang to the side with that finger too…

but again, he’s touch-starved, so deep inside, he really, REALLY likes hugging you and wants to touch you every moment he gets

whenever he hugs you, he’s at his most “normal,” where he drops the whole “fate, elements, advice” talk and just has normal conversations and genuine muses… although a random corny line might slip out of habit

he hugs you before school, during school, after school, but rarely during practice or games or anything like that… which is surprisingly odd

he’ll hug you in front of his teammates during school no problem, but if it’s right before a practice or a game, he usually doesn’t, mostly because he’s usually very concentrated on the upcoming challenge… and not to mention, he’s a 3rd-year, so he does want to set a good example for the underclassmen in prioritizing the team first

he has no problem scouting for your face on the stands before a game starts though, and of course, he’d pester his team about how cute you looked in the stands

once games end, if you allowed him, he’d usually jog straight to you and would try to give you a quick hug before he’d go back to his teammates to the lockers

Kasamatsu Yukio

touch-starved guy #2, but is also afraid of physical contact

not because he doesn’t like it, but the concept of someone hugging him or him hugging someone for ROMANTIC reasons is so foreign

it’s the fact that he knows he’ll get super sweaty, clammy, and stiff and he KNOWS he’d focus on everything but also on nothing, and at that point he’ll just shut down—

so touch-starved that when he gets a hug from you, he’d be hyper-fixated on EVERYTHING about you and where you’re touching, and his brain would just overload

so the result is the same old Yukio being frozen and stammery and red

in other words, YOU have to initiate the hugs

whenever you hug him, he’s gonna first flinch and then respond by stiffly holding his arms out to support your weight against his body… and then after a few seconds of contact, he would awkwardly pat his two hands on your back in this loose hug he’s doing LOL

all while being red, of course

but how much he hugs depends on how much you go up to him for hugs; as much as he grumbles and stammers and lamely complains, he’d never reject any of your hugs, even with the hesitant reciprocation

if you two are alone, he’s much quicker to hug you back… if you hug him in public or in front of his teammates, he’s more likely to be frozen stiff and slower to pat your arms in a shy hug

however, the times when Kasamatsu would be at his lowest and most emotional are when Kasamatsu initiates the hugs first, often out of nowhere with fierce, tight holds while nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck/top of your shoulder

once he reveals his most vulnerable side like this to you in hugging you, it’d be huge milestone in which he would be more inclined to initiate physical contact without being in a flustered state

all in all, give the poor captain some time… eventually when you’ll reach a certain part of your relationship (see bullet points above), he’ll be comfortable enough to hug you without being a mess

so when he finally gets to this point, he will always ask you for consent (or at least give you a heads up) before he hugs you or physically touches you with, “May I…?” or “Do you mind…?”

and most of the time, or near always, you’d reply, “Of course, Yukio.”

“Th-That’s good…”

he’s still a reserved individual with a captain’s duty to uphold, so he’s not going to be handsy on his end in front of people; he’d literally DIE of embarrassment

expect “loose” hugs from him, he’s not gonna smush your face into his chest or give those extremely tight hugs, generally speaking

so what should you expect from his hugs? assuming that you hugged him first, his hands will always pat your back or rub soothing patterns of circles and swirls, almost in an unconscious effort to try to show you that he does love these hugs from you, even if it’s hard for him to show and express that sometimes

or if he has those shy moments, he’d try to half-heartedly pry you off in a grumbling fluster, but after grasping your arms around his waist, he’d immediately give in and just rub those familiar patterns on your upper arms while trying to convince you to wait until you’re alone with him to do these things

if he senses some sketchy people nearby or if you’re in a crowd full of strangers, expect a hand around your shoulder as he ushers you slightly closer to his side with a serious glint in his eyes, analyzing your surroundings (again, this will only happen once your relationship reaches at a later stage)

it’s only when the “danger” passes by and with his hand still on you that he realizes what he did and starts getting embarrassed again

key phrase with the Kaijō captain is: “There’s a time and place for everything.”

Hayakawa Mitsuhiro

touch-starved guy #3, but he’s not afraid to pounce on you for the hugs

ever since he miraculously got into a relationship with you (according to his teammates, anyways), slapping his own cheeks to get himself in the mood for rebounding wasn’t as appealing anymore

not when he has you to hug and accidentally squeeze the life out of you

“Oh!! A(l)e you he(l)e to chee(l) me on, (y/n)-san?!”

“M-Mitsu… I can’t… breathe—”

“O-Oh! So(l)(l)y…! I [will learn] to be mo(l)e ca(l)efu(r) next time!”

“Mitsuhiro, please don’t worry about me! Go back to your teammates… they’re waiting for you. Good luck on the game, okay?”

Hayakawa treats hugging like he does with basketball, putting 100% of his effort and enthusiasm into it… and oftentimes, his hugs can be too… explosive? they can be quite abrupt and intense

his energy alone would normally scare away everyone—hell, a lot of times, his teammates can’t tolerate it… so everyone always wonders how you never seem bothered by his tendencies

but to you, his bear hugs make you feel very, very secure and loved, since he never has qualms about hugging in public because he’s always focused on you or the courts

initially though, his hugs definitely crushed your figure into smithereens, mostly because he’s never had to keep his strength in check

and he’s never had anything close to an intimate relationship, so he’d probably need a lot of time and positive encouragement/advice for him to learn how to be more delicate (or rather, tactful) when initiating hugs

he’s SO earnest that he’d totally treat your words/encouragement as a serious lesson and would try to “practice” hugging and ask:

“Is this okay, (y/n)-san?!”

if you’re not around, he’d totally hug his teammates out of nowhere and definitely receive a few punches or kicks out of retaliation

“WHAT THE HELL?”

“I am p(l)acticing [how to] hug, Kasamatsu-senpai!”

“Don’t do that! People will get the wrong idea!!”

“Why? Don’t we a(r)ways p(l)actice togethe(l) as a team, captain?!”

“That’s completely different!!”

he has no tact, so whenever he sees you, expect a fierce hug as a greeting every time… unless you tell him that you’re not a fan of the constant hugging or want to save it for private moments, he’s gonna keep doing it

just as your hugs hype him up for anything upcoming, when you hug him a certain way, they also have a calming effect on this excitable boy too

Kasamatsu literally reveres you because you’re the only one who can keep him in check

it’s when you do your calming hugs (that gentle squeeze around his torso as you slowly nuzzle against him) that his heartbeat slightly slows down and his breath exhales out steadily to let out the pent-up steam

those types of hugs from your end would allow you to see a “less-energetic” side of him, where his voice might still be loud, but at least it’s still relatively indoor voice

still, a lot of his sentences are either incomprehensible mumbles or butchered exclaims, no in-between

“Sometimes, it’s good for your body and mind to stop and relax, y’know?”

“I-Is that so…! You a(l)e very knowled[geable] about these things! I [think] that is ve(l)y coo(r)…”

“You say that, but you’re one of the best offensive rebound players in the nation. That’s so much cooler, Mitsuhiro.”

“If I was coo(r) (r)ike you say, I wonde(l) why peop(r)e (l)un away [when I try] to ta(r)k? Mo(l)iyama-senpai says [it is because] I ‘have no cha(l)m’… I must wo(l)k ha(l)der [if that is the case]!”

“Well, I think your attitude and energy can be very refreshing. Everytime I see you, I can’t help but be motivated to work hard and accomplish like you do.”

“I am ve(l)y touched, (y/n)-san…!”

all in all, he will hug you every chance he gets (except when Kasamatsu roundhouse kicks him to curb him) and accepts all hugs from you (while being red and a little shy, but still enthusiastic)

prepare your waist/torso to be constantly crushed embraced, because that’s where his arms will always be around

#knb #kuroko no basket #knb x reader #kasamatsu yukio #kasamatsu x reader #kasamatsu yukio x reader #moriyama yoshitaka #moriyama x reader #moriyama yoshitaka x reader #hayakawa mitsuhiro #hayakawa x reader #hayakawa mitsuhiro x reader #kaijo #kaijo team #kaijo x reader #knb headcanons #knb headcanon #knb fic #knb fics

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writeofmind · 4 years

Text

a quick lesson

Genre: smut

Pairing: Rosé x Reader

Type: scenario

Never in your life did you expect to be the one giving Rosé a private lesson.

A/N: Rosé is my bias wrecker, if you can’t tell. and i wrote this on a whim, very randomly lol. a lisa smut and many others will be up next. enjoy!

You tapped away at your laptop, textbook in your lap, sitting on a single bed in Rosé’s room. You had just wrapped up a concert and finally found time to finish some of your homework, all while being able to hang out with Rosé afterwards. Through the entirety of the night, despite being half focused on homework and still laughing and joking with the other girl, you felt her eyes fixated on you more often than not. Her eyes were narrow as she rested on her wrist.

You continuously glanced over and still caught her staring every time.

“Hey. You okay?” You chuckled. You leaned forward now and looked up to the older girl. Rosé smiled back softly and nodded.

“Yeah. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

Rosé let her eyes wander around your face. You always felt a little insecure when Rosé did this, being under her gaze made you feel so little.

She blinked her eyes now. “About you,” she said, very matter-of-factly.

You pulled back and tilted your head. “Of me?” A smile crossed your face, “How come?”

“Because you work so hard. You’re always doing your schoolwork when you have free time,” Rosé shrugged and hoped that she was carrying this conversation well.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” You quickly began to push your things to the side, “I don’t mean to ignore you or anything!”

“No, no no no!” Rosé began to laugh. She stopped you from closing your laptop and shook her head again. “Not like that. I meant, like, you are always doing your homework but it’s like you barely rest. Plus you’re always with us. Aren’t you tired?”

You looked at Rosé for a bit. Now was your turn to laugh, waving your hand dismissively. “It’s just normal. Not really a big deal.”

Rosé’s eyebrows furrowed. “Do you ever get time to yourself though? To do things you want?”

Your expression turned soft. You couldn’t help but stare at Rosé for a few moments as you tried to gather your thoughts, to the point where Rosé had to turn her eyes to the floor for a moment. It was quiet, until a sigh escaped your lips.

“I mean, I get to tour with you and the girls. And I get to be with you when you’re not being a big shot celebrity,” Rosé looked up to see that your smile grew wider, your eyes turning to crescents. “I am doing what I want.”

A small flush of pink took over Rosé’s cheeks. She smiled and shook her head, presumably at the amount of cheesiness that you were able to exude sometimes.

“That’s cute.” Rosé rolled her eyes again.

The bed creaked as you leaned back to rest on your arms. “Thank you, thank you. I do try my hardest.” Your eyes closed and a smug smile came across your face.

Silence overcame the two of you for a bit, which seemed pretty odd to you. Rosé usually wouldn’t stop talking unless she had food in her hands, and in this case, you were both still waiting for the food to arrive.

“Have you ever been in a relationship, y/n?”

Your eyes immediately opened to stare.

Rosé had a serious look on her face, curious and inquisitive.

You raised an eyebrow and moved forward. “Um, yeah, I have. Why do you ask?”

“What’s it like?”

“What’s it like?” You questioned. It seemed like such a trivial thing for someone like Rosé to be asking about. “Well, it’s... nice?” You shrugged.

Rosé continued staring. She expected you to say more and you could feel it.

“Umm,” you continued, “its like you always have your best friend at your side. It’s fun, and y’know. You just kinda enjoy being together.”

“So you loved them?”

You raised your eyebrows. “Um, I’m not too sure,” you laughed uncomfortably, “I would probably say yes? But...”

Rosé nodded. It was encouraging, but her soft expression told you that you didn’t have to continue. You smiled.

It was quiet once again for a short while, enough that you thought the conversation was over. You playfully squeezed Rosé’s knee and turned to grab your laptop again; Rosé stopped you by tapping your arm.

“Can I ask you something else?” Rosé sat back on her heels, folding her hands in her lap. She kept her head down now, and you could see her thumbs running over the back of her hands. Her voice was quiet.

You scooted up to sit on the edge of the bed next to her and nodded. “Yeah, sure, anything.”

Rosé took a deep breath and took her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes stayed diverted from your gaze.

“Did you ever... have sex with them?”

“What?!” Your eyebrows shot up to your hairline. Rosé flinched a bit from your tone and you sunk back into the bed in apology. Lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, it was your turn to play with your own hands.

“I— yes, I did,” You managed to stammer, “it was, uh, yeah.”

Rosé hid her laugh and finally looked up at you. Her eyes were filled with a certain look of curiosity— or maybe something else.

“How was that?”

“Rosé, this is getting very—“ you laughed awkwardly and held your own throat in a chokehold, “very personal.”

Rosé smiled and let out a little laugh. “I know, I’m sorry. I just...” She shrugged, “is it satisfying?”

“It— yeah,” you looked off to the side and inhaled a nervous breath. “If done right.”

A thought suddenly crossed your mind and you stared at the older girl. “Have you... never done it?” Your tone was confused, and you sat back on the bed as puzzled as ever. This time, Rosé shook her head.

“Like, you’ve...” You shrugged and pointed to her legs, “you’ve had sex before.”

Rosé rolled her eyes. “No, y/n. I haven’t.”

The world must have slowed down in order for you to process this, because you stared at the older girl for a few moments, like the cog wheels in your head were turning to make sense of this.

“Okay, but, you’re an idol...” It seemed like you were just talking to yourself with the way your eyes stayed spaced out at the area in front of you, “you have to have had some getaway. And you have so many... willing fans. Some free time to... y’know...” You, again, shrugged incredulously and did a very inappropriate gesture that almost made Rosé laugh out loud.

“Y/n, you’re right, I’m an idol, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I get no free time for that,” Rosé sighed.

You furrowed your brows. It never really crossed your mind what Rosé did in her personal life. You didn’t think it bothered her that she hasn’t been in a relationship, nor have you ever thought about the fact that she’d eventually be in one. The thought alone made your stomach drop.

“Y/n,” you noticed Rosé creeping closer to you, a soft hand resting on your thigh. You jumped under her touch and looked in her eyes.

“I’ve never been with anyone. And, I’ve never felt that feeling of... release,” she admitted, quietly and breathlessly. You could see her eyelids fluttering along with her lashes with every blink. “Can you teach me?”

Your mind went blank. The cogwheels in your head froze, your throat immediately going dry. “Teach you?” You stared right through Rosé with a feeling that you may pass out.

“I won’t be able to just meet someone and do it. I at least want to know how to properly... do it myself.”

“You want me to teach you how to touch yourself?”

Rosé nodded. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her voice stayed quiet, but she had no problem with voicing her problem to you.

Rosé must know what an odd request this was, you thought. There’s always been tension between the two, regardless of how close of friends you were. You spent every waking moment together; maybe that’s why. But this was crossing a line.

“On top of that,” Rosé added, “I’ve never been able to feel that... that feeling that people get on their own.” She shrugged and looked at you with sincerity in her eyes. “It’s frustrating.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can see that...” Your throat felt like it was drying out by the second. You could feel that your stomach was in knots and your breathing began to break its rhythm. You couldn’t deny that you haven’t thought of this before.

Seeing Rosé so flustered and asking of something so intimate was sending you over the edge. There was an undeniable attraction you felt for the older girl. How could you not? Throughout the tours, the trips, you two had always been glued at the hip. But, still, you had to face reality. Rosé was a celebrity, and she understood that. You were fine being by her side as a friend— but that didn’t mean that those thoughts, ripe with lust and something more wouldn’t arise more often than not.

The atmosphere in the room only grew heavier and heavier.

“Do you watch porn?”

It was a valid question, but Rosé giggled. The blush deepened on your cheeks.

“I have. It just, doesn’t work,” Rosé was almost whispering now. You noticed that her eyes were lidded now and she kept her gaze low.

You swallowed nervously and nodded. “Do you want to try? Watching it?”

Rosé flushed. “With you here?”

“If you still want me to teach you.”

The older girl shuffled a bit on the bed now. A sudden shyness took over her, but the heat between her thighs grew unbearable by the minute.

Rosé nodded, and your stomach suddenly flipped over. It was happening, and you couldn’t believe it.

Without another word, you picked up your laptop and wasted no time in pulling the website up. Images began to flood the screen and your cheeks grew hot. From where you sat, you hoped that your beating heart would go unnoticed.

You clicked on a video with a very explicit thumbnail. You thought that the best way to teach was to show.

Rosé scooted closer to you, until you were shoulder to shoulder. Your skin burned hot to the touch.

The video began to play and your stomach filled with nervousness by the second. You were about to cross an unspoken boundary that’s been in place since you were children; but you didn’t care.

You were supposed to teach Rosé, but you weren’t able to find the words to try. You kept glancing to her, watching how she fidgeted and stared at the screen with such concentration. You took a deep breath, unable to handle the burning between your legs.

“Hey,” you finally spoke as you scooted backwards, resting on the headboard of the bed, legs open and patting the space between.

“Come sit between my legs.”

Rosé’s face flushed. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped, but no words of protest came out. She only quietly removed herself from the edge of the bed to climb into your lap.

“I’m gonna show you now, is that okay?” You asked.

“Yes,” Rosé took a deep breath and nodded, “that’s okay.”

Once Rosé was between your legs, you let your hands gently trace her thighs. Rosé almost flinched them closed on instinct, but you promptly took hold of her knees to slowly push them further apart.

Rosé’s face rushed with redness. She took a deep breath and tried her best to relax her nerves as your hands continued to travel up her sides and down her arms to her wrists.

You gently took her wrists and brought them up, towards your lips, where you left a kiss on her pulse.

The older girl’s hips twitched and you tried to hide your smug smile.

You lifted her wrists once more until Rosé felt hair entangle her fingers. Her arms were draped on your shoulders where she was free to grab at your hair, your head, anything.

“Don’t be afraid to use me too,” You spoke with lust dripping from your words. Rosé nodded desperately and unknowingly already took hold of a fistful of your hair.

She laid her head back on your shoulder. Her chest was heaving, and her legs were spread. You could tell that her nervousness began to build and grow, spreading through her whole body until she was almost trembling.

“Focus on my fingers,” You spoke softly to calm her down, your lips brushing against the shell of Rosé’s ear. “We’ll start slow.”

Your breath was felt on her skin, and it was enough to send shivers straight down Rosé‘s spine.

Trying to calm yourself of your own nerves, you took deep breaths and focused yourself on the feeling of Rosé’s smooth skin beneath your touch. With eyes closed, you began to slowly travel upwards and underneath the older girl’s shirt. You could feel Rosé’s stomach rising and falling in anticipation.

Your nails gently dug into her skin as you left soft, red trails in its wake. She whimpered and let out frustrated sighs.

The fabric of her bra was the only thing keeping you away from her chest. Even so, you gently cupped both breasts in your hands and heard a small gasp.

“Can I move this?” You asked. The feeling of Rosé’s nervous breathing was still prominent, but she nodded anyway. You traced her back with your left hand to give her bra strap a quick *flick*, and within a moment the latch fell limp.

You took hold of the front and began to pull it from Rosé’s shoulders. She straightened her arms to help ease from it, but resumed her position of holding the back of your head. The beating of your heart began to pound in your ears.

From just where you sat, you could see Rosé’s bare chest on display for you, free to be touched and teased. The thought of it being so close made your mind feel hazy.

Your hands skimmed up Rosé’s body once more before you finally felt her perky nipples in the palm of your hands. Rosé’s moans drifted through the air when you began to knead her breasts together. Her hips began to gyrate in your lap, slow strokes to match the pace of your hands. You let one of your hands fall back into her lap, where you took hold of her inner thigh to control the speed of her hips.

Rosé’s back arched away from you as you gently tugged at her already hardened nipple. Your thumb would ease up on them, twirling and just faintly touching, enough to frustrate Rosé and have her asking for more.

Rosé’s head was thrown back onto your shoulder, chest heaving and legs slowly spreading as you pushed and pulled her against you. You wondered just how riled up she could get.

Your hand moved from her thigh to delve under the material of her shorts, your fingers quickly swiping over Rosé’s clothed, throbbing clit. A soft gasp came from the girl’s lips and her chest arched away again.

“It’s okay.” You ran her finger along Rosé’s slit, feeling her panties grow increasingly wet as you did so. Rosé let out frustrated groans and tugged at your hair.

“I’ll touch you soon,” Your lips caressed the nape of her neck. The feeling alone sent jolts of electricity through her body. Rosé leaned her head back further and let out a whine, pulling your head closer to her.

You let your fingers roam, sliding along the cloth before rubbing gentle circles over her clit. Her panties were soaked already.

Rosé’s hips raised slightly and you heard a small whimper form in her throat. From the feeling of Rosé gripping your hair, you could tell that she was getting impatient with you.

“Y/n, come on,” she whined. The neediness in her voice only made your ego grow twice in size.

You couldn’t help but smile and nod. “Okay, okay,” you pulled your hand back to slide it under her panties. “It’s okay to relax.”

As you touched her, your fingers tracing between her folds to feel how wet she’s become, you make sure to remember every sound, imprinting it in your mind for only you to keep. You relish in every moan and whimper and shiver every time you dip your fingers into her heat, covering your own fingers in her juices. Then you bring your fingers back up to her clit, circling slowly, falling into a gentle rhythm that brings her close to the edge.

“Fuck,” she chokes on a gasp, then whines as she grinds herself against you, her own fingers digging into your neck, “don’t stop...” It almost seems like Rosé has forgotten the situation she was in, this whole scene being a lesson (or maybe she doesn’t care) because she lets go, only focusing on the pleasure you give her, giving in to the way you touch her, the way you tease and play between her trembling thighs. Your hand works quicker, driving her wild until she’s shaking against you.

But maybe she does remember that this is a lesson, because she tries to calm herself to focus on the feeling of your fingers. You don’t stop, however, now caressing her swollen, aching clit, filling the space with the sounds of her messy juices. Just feeling how wet she’s become as your body on fire, and feeling her trembling against you while listening to her breathless whimpers and moans makes your own body ache for release.

“God, that feels so good,” she cries out, gasping and whimpering all over again, “fuck, y/n, I’m… I’m gonna come—“

Her words ignite the fire within you, and even more so as you feel her thighs tighten around your hand as she begins to unravel. Her hips rolls against you and she reaches to grasp your wrist with a shaking palm. Her head is swirling, as is yours. Curses and moans fill the air, breaths suddenly so heavy as the pleasure rolls through her body, and after a few moments, she finally begins to come down.

Her head falls into your neck. She’s breathing deeply as her legs fall open, exhausted, but you still play at her folds. You smile as you caress down her slit and watch as her legs twitch from the sensitivity. The tips of your fingers sink into her pussy, allowing her messy juices to be heard after coming, pumping them slowly, the filthy noises making it known just how hard she came. Rosé giggles because it becomes too much, and finally her thighs close once again as she pushes your hand away.

You both stay quiet and just listen to your heaving breaths, feeling the both of your chests rising and falling with each one you take.

You decide to break the silence. “How was that?”

Rosé shook her head, but you could still feel her smile against your neck. “It— it was done right,” Her voice shook, “I’m pretty sure.”

You laughed a bit. The blush on your cheeks was still very much prominent, but she couldn’t see that. “Well, I hope you paid attention. You think you can do it yourself now?”

Rosé sat up from your lap and turned to face you. The shyness was erased from her face and was replaced with dominance, and to be honest, it frightened you a bit. Only— not really.

Rosé crawled closer to you until your noses were touching, her lips so close you could just lean up to capture them.

“I’m not sure,” Her hand moved from your thigh to find its place right where you wanted it most, “let me practice.”

#rosé #rosé x reader #blackpink scenarios #blackpink #blackpink smut #rosé smut #gg scenarios #kpop scenarios #park rosé #park chaeyoung #girl group scenarios #park roseanne #writeofmind

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transtenzin · 4 years

Text

ok umm deleted my first post like a minute after posting because i started panicking and had to type it out again because i didn’t save anything like the dumbass i am, but here it is again 😭

so anyways

nonbinary tenzin!!!

(i’ll be using they/them pronouns for tenzin in this)

katara and aang are trans as well. katara’s a trans girl, and aang’s not a boy or a girl and that’s all you need to know–even if that much 🙄 so it’s not like tenzin and their siblings grow up not knowing that’s a Thing, because they are both very open about gender, especially aang, who encourages them to Think Some Thoughts about gender.

and tenzin tries.

oh boy, do they try lmaoo

tenzin thinks about gender. they don’t really get it tbh. and not in a comedic “what even is gender” meme kind of way, but like. genuinely. but at this point they’re kind of too embarrassed to seriously ask. katara and sokka make gender sound simple and clean-cut, while aang makes it sound like some sort of vague, weird concept, and tenzin’s siblings just kinda took their own interpretations of these and ran with them.

like, okay, sure. tenzin is seen as a boy by the people in the around them. there are certain expectations and assumptions around this perception/what it means. they don’t necessarily like all of them–which is its own can of worms when deciding why–if that is because they simply don’t like these conceptions, or if they don’t like them because they aren’t a guy, but like… picking that apart sounds stressful and complicated.

tenzin hasn’t brought it up with anyone because it’s kind of an awkward and embarrassing thing to admit, but they Super Do Not Like how their voice has gotten deeper. after a while they have realized it is not just the voice cracking thing going on that they don’t like, but just like. in general. everything is okay until they open their mouth 🙃

it’s not like, Every Conversation, but sometimes when they’re talking to someone and it’s a bit quiet, listening to their own voice makes their stomach drop. like that’s really what they sound like. fantastic. 🙃🙃🙃 (/s)

they think about this some but like… not liking their voice doesn’t necessarily mean anything?

kya’s a trans lesbian, and when kya comes out to their family tenzin finally gathers the courage and asks her how she knew. kya admits that it wasn’t like a single sudden realization or a point in life where she just Knew like most people seem to think there is. there were a lot of things that factored into it, but one of the main things wasn’t really how she felt with being misgendered as a boy, but the comfort she took in knowing that there were other things she could be perceived as instead, and other things she could be.

that’s the first time that someone’s ever explained to tenzin their self discovery with that much understanding. it’s a lot better than bumi’s “idk. if you know you know, you know” + generally being annoying about it every time tenzin tries to have a serious conversation (bumi is agender and when they’re like “but how do you know what your gender is” he’s like “you think i would know? rip to you all with genders but i’m different 😌”)

so after this conversation with her, tenzin is just like…. 👁👄👁 omg okay…. that actually makes some sense.

that gets him thinking more, but this time in a more specific direction. they still don’t know anything for sure though. tenzin Suspects they are not Exactly a boy, but other than that??? anyone’s guess is as good as theirs lmao. they try to take comfort in know there are ‘other things’ they could be, but mostly it just ends up stressing them out.

after tenzin and pema are together, tenzin has been thinking about it even more, and wants to talk to pema about it. like. tenzin has decided that there is a large possibility that they are not a man, and choosing a specific label just sounds so… permanent. they haven’t talked to kya or bumi or anyone about THEIR gender, specifically, because like… what’re they going to say? “hey actually i don’t think i’m a guy” “then what are you?” “idk good question”???

but tenzin has been questioning for a while now (like. a while a while LOL), and they want to trust pema with this.

(EDIT: also time to mention pema is a trans woman. i forgot to mention this for some reason)

one day pema says something along the lines of “ur my husband” and tenzin takes the opportunity and kind of just laughs like… what if i’m not… jk…. unless…? 😳😳

it’s not exactly how tenzin wanted to approach the subject ofc. pema grows kind of concerned when they’re like “well… actually… i might not be” and needs to clarify they still very much are pema’s spouse, but like… not husband, specifically. but yes, spouse. maybe?

tenzin is embarrassed at first to admit this because they’re like 40 years old. they just had their first kid. are they not a bit old for this?? (the answer is no, there is no age limit to this sort of thing.)

pema is happy to know and tenzin is happy to have told her because even if they’re still figuring it out at least there is someone who kind of Knows that there is a Possibility They Are Not Cis. and pema’s kind of like… idk… if you’ve been thinking about this for that long then i think there is More than a possibility that you Aren’t Cis. to which tenzin makes sure to emphasize they are still not 100% certain about anything.

pema’s like okay that’s fine but like… you know that you don’t have to be 100% certain to try on a label? labels are not things that have to be permanent. if in a few weeks you are just 70% certain that you’re nonbinary, you’re allowed to say you’re nonbinary. if some time later you find another label you’re more confident in, you can change to that. you don’t have to be absolutely 100% all the time to try stuff out.

tenzin surprised pikachu face

okay so… logically, they’ve known this. other people they know have done this, including their siblings. but otherwise? for themself? it honestly hadn’t crossed their mind that they’re allowed to just. say that they feel like x is a term for them, and then change their mind later.

but as simple as pema makes it sound, tenzin kind of internally cringes at the thought of having to say ‘so i told you i was x gender but now i think i’m x”. isn’t it enough of a hassle to do that all once, but again? just because they weren’t sure the first time??? ughhh

what if they ditched the whole thing altogether? throw the entire suitcase out. who needs a label 😌😌 aang kind of didn’t either

tenzin starts using any pronouns (like aang did, but aang wanted pronouns to be alternated, while tenzin hasn’t necessarily specified that) by the start of lok, but only with their family and korra.

aang also didnt use a label to describe his gender, and tenzin has been trying to be okay with doing the same.

in lok, hearing pema ask “were tenzin and their siblings this crazy when they were kids?” makes them happier than they can express. it’s like there’s little exclamation marks just going off in their head. like yes!!! that is them!! them!!! Euphoria ™ 💓❤💕💞💗💖💝

and then katara’s reply with “not tenzin, she was always rather serious” and tenzin almost forgets that they have to tell korra that they can’t stay and train her because that also makes them elated, although not quite to the extent that pema using “their” did.

after that they’re still going by any pronouns, but they’ve decided they have a preference for they/them.

when they’re back at air temple island, pema asks about other aspects of gender expression. which like lol tenzin has also been avoiding that thanks 💖 they’ve just been presenting as expected by everyone else–keeping their beard, wearing their usual robes, etc. they’re just like “i’m fine as i am ig” which is true. they’ve thought about changing up their appearance but like lol. they are also on the council and tenzin doesn’t need anything else adding an extra layer of stress on those meetings when everyone already seems inclined to not listen to them. which is also why they haven’t told anyone else about using any pronouns.

when season 2 comes around tenzin is still not satisfied with just Not Labeling their gender, but now that they aren’t on the council anymore, they can think about it more.

it’s just… they spent a long time figuring out what gender was, how they felt about their own gender, and while at the time just leaving it alone seemed simpler, it didn’t make them any happier. it really bugs them, actually, lmao.

at this point they are certain they are not a man, and highly doubt they are a woman either. in fact, they’re still not sure if they have a gender like, at all, but they are very hesitant to put a word to it.

they’ve become used to being referred to as a mix of he/they/she/xe/etc. around their family, although their use of he/him has decreased significantly and they mainly use they/them, so when they hear the air acolytes in the southern air temple consistently refer to them as “he”, they sort of have to pause a minute, and then decide to finally say something.

they’re asked then abt their gender and tenzin’s just like… um actually i’m just not putting a label to it atm you know haha ❤

it goes over pretty well but telling other people that makes them realize how much they actually do want to label it, despite how aang used to talk about not needing a word just for others to perceive her gender, and how everyone keeps telling them “that’s valid!”, etc. etc.

the scene in the spirit world with tenzin’s spiritual enlightenment is also about tenzin realizing that they are also free to explore their gender the way THEY want to, not the way everyone else did. even kya’s answer to “how did u know u were trans” doesn’t necessarily have to apply to how they did.

tbh after that tenzin stops caring. and not in an “my gender doesn’t matter to me anymore” way but “it does matter but now i will stop worrying about trying to do gender the ‘right way’“.

afterward they decide they think they are nonbinary. it’s a label that makes them happy, and it does cover what they’ve determined their gender might be. nonbinary is a broad term, and while they’re still not sure of the specifics, that’s okay. if they later discover they’re something else, that’s also okay. they can tell people they are nonbinary, and it’s fine if they have to tell them something different later. it’s not a hassle if it makes them feel happy being out.

tenzin’s family can still use any pronouns for them, but now everyone else is using only they/them for them.

tenzin’s okay with being called a husband/father/etc when coming from their family despite their initial talk with pema because they trust that they Get It and know that it’s not in a Cis Way, you know???

tenzin keeps their beard (unfortunately) and keeps shaving their head and stuff but they occasionally wear dresses with long swishy skirts and the euphoria!!!!! 😭😭 they love the cloak swishing you KNOW they’d love long swishy skirts too

this is actually the happiest tenzin can remember being with their gender and stuff. people are using they/any pronouns for them, they are wearing whatever they want, they are nonbinary, AND people know!!!

also time to mention jinora is transfem nonbinary, and she’s a bit nervous about shaving her head at first to get her tattoos. tenzin reassures jinora that her hair will grow back AND she will have her tattoos, which she’s wanted and has welllll since earned. they have a parent/daughter bonding moment over her distress about finally having grown her hair out as long as it was only to shave it all off.

and tenzin understands that her nervousness doesn’t mean she doesn’t want them–she asked tenzin about getting them way before that. they are hugely significant to her identity, too, just as they are to theirs. tenzin gets it, and keeps going out of their way to give jinora compliments and use her pronouns in front of her while her hair is still growing back.

and ingores that jinora does the same for them for a little while after they tell her they’re nonbinary. no they’re not crying over how sweet their daughter is you are 😭

tenzin is pretty much freely expressing their gender however they want and living their best life now 😌

nonbinary tenzin… ❤❤ we love to see it

also additional headcanons for other characters that didn’t make it in:

sokka is nonbinary and uses ne/nim pronouns

kai is transmasc nonbianry (he/him)

449 notes · View notes

the-sympathetic-villain · 4 years

Text

New Labels

AO3

Pairings: QPR Lociet

Warnings: Light insecurity/Anxiety

Word count: 3,989

Description: Logan and Janus rescue a kitten on their first date :)

[Reposting this for better formatting on my writing masterpost]

gosh part of me wants to revisit this AU lol

“Well…I guess I'll see you later.”

“I would assume so. You do tend to frequent my place of employment rather consistently.”

Ouch.

Janus tried to hide his hurt as he smiled crookedly up at the cute barista that he'd only recently managed to work up the courage to ask out on a date. A crack of thunder rolled across the sky above them, and Janus watched as Logan pulled down the hood of his raincoat.

Crappy weather for a date.

Despite Logan's constant reassurances that he enjoyed the rain, Janus couldn’t help but feel that their date had been doomed from the start. He sighed and smiled. If he was being honest with himself, things could have gone worse. He knew he'd loved every minute of their afternoon together and he only hoped Logan felt the same. They’d had lunch at a quiet little bistro downtown that Logan had recommended and after they’d ran through the pouring rain down the block to one of Logan's favorite bookstores. A warm smile spread across Janus' at the fresh memory of following Logan through the aisles listening to him talk endlessly about all of his favorite authors. Logan could go on for hours and Janus was all too eager to listen. The way his face lit up when he was excited was too pure and perfect. He was perfect. Logan had even inquired about Janus’ reading preferences and picked out some novels for him to read so they could discuss them later.

Guess that doesn’t mean much though, if there's not going to be a second date.

Janus swallowed sadly. The date really had been perfect.

Why did I have to get invested?

He'd been debating about asking for him for months. Janus knew his schedule at the coffee shop by heart at this point. They’d been taking for nearly a year and his best friend had talked him into at least asking him out.

I'm going to kill Ro—

“I have some concerns about your caffeine intake. Continued reliance on stimulants can affect your mood and sleep patterns.” Logan absentmindedly pulled his keys from his pocket and worked through the keys to find the right one. Janus felt his heart skip a beat as Logan tilted his head up to smirk at him. “Then again, if it weren't for your dependence on caffeine, I would see you much less and that would be truly disappointing."

Janus stifled a squeak of surprise as flash of lightning illuminated Logan's porch. He played it cool, hoping the lightning had distracted Logan from the almost certainly undignified face he'd made at Logan's words. With a devilish smile, he took a step closer to Logan as thunder rumbled around them. “I definitely would never put my heath at risk in order to see you more often.”

This time it was Logan's turn to blush and Janus couldn't help the smile that quirked on his lips at the sight.

Logan cleared his throat, and fumbled with his keys. Janus raised an eyebrow. He seemed to be stalling, even as he moved to leave. “Well, umm. Yes. I suppose we should part ways for the night.”

Oh god. He wants me to kiss him.

A slight shiver ran up Janus' spine at the thought and his smile faltered for a moment. It wasn’t that Logan was an unattractive person. Quite the opposite actually. Janus often caught himself staring at Logan whenever he wasn't careful. Janus swallowed nervously. Logan wasn’t the problem. Aesthetically, he was very attractive. Janus just didn't wasn't the type for romantic attraction, or sexual really, but he'd always been more repulsed by romantic gestures than anything.

The hand-holding, sappy, over-the-top displays of affection that everyone in the world seemed to enjoy made his stomach turn. Kissing most of all confounded him. Why people seemed to enjoy trying to swallow each other’s tongues, he'd never know.

But they do and I don't. I guess it’s better to rip off the band-aid now and tell him I'm aromantic. It's better to see if he can live with that before this goes too far.

Janus swallowed nervously. Rejection was never easy, and he wasn't sure he could handle it coming from the barista who he'd seen nearly every day for the last year.

God, I'm never going to be able to get a decent cup of coffee again.

“Listen, Logan—” He started nervously.

Mew.

Janus stopped, seeing the confused expression on Logan's face. “Do you have a cat?”

Logan shook his head, glancing around the porch. “I do not.”

“It's pouring rain right now.” Janus glanced around at the puddles of water pooling in the shallow dips in Logan's yard.

Mewww.

The cat's call was longer this time and was almost shrill with fear.

“Perhaps, we should locate this cat. It appears to be distressed and combination of rain and wind could pose potential danger for a small animal.” Janus could see the worry growing in Logan’s eyes, and he nodded, following behind Logan as he stepped off the porch to follow the noise.

Mewwww.

The calls were getting louder and more insistent as they approached the far side of the deck and peered through the cross hatch underneath.

Mewwww.

Janus eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness under the deck and he could just make out a small, black kitten cowering in the shadows.

“It's young,” Logan looked over at Janus with a serious expression. “Barely old enough to be weaned. It must have squeezed through the gaps in the wood and gotten stuck.”

Janus nodded. “Well, since I'm definitely slender enough to slip through that gap, do you have a drill?”

Logan raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you going to take it apart?”

“What?” Janus smiled teasingly at him. “I don’t seem trustworthy?”

His coyness seemed to fall on deaf ears as nervous settled across Logan’s face. “Are you licensed?”

“No, but I know what I'm doing, and if we waste time trying to find someone with the proper qualifications, that kitten is going to be iintrouble.” Logan still looked wary, but Janus was quick to reassure him. “Trust me. I've done this several times before. It's just a couple of screws holding it in place. It'll pop right back on when I'm done.”

Logan nodded and Janus blushed at the subtle smile that appeared on his face. “Okay, I'll be right back.”

Logan stood up and went inside, leaving Janus squatting in the drizzling rain as he looked down at the little kitten shivering near one of the supporting posts.

“Hey there, little one.” He made a clicking noise with his tongue, trying to coax it closer. “It’s a little cold out here, huh?”

Mew.

“I know. We're going to get you out of there and find some place warm for yiu to stay. Okay?”

Mew.

Too his surprise, the kitten stood up, approaching him cautiously. Janus reached out a hand rubbing his fingers together and clicking. “Come on, buddy. Make this easier on us and just come out of there.”

Mew.

“How about you do me a solid and help me impress this cute boy I'm on a date with?”

Mew.

The kitten stopped just behind the crisscrossing wood and sat on the ground. Janus sighed and smiled. “Just like a cat to make things difficult.”

Mew.

“No? Nature itself would like me to fail?” Janus rolled his eyes. “That hardly what I ever would have expected."

Janus reached his fingers through the wood, but stopped as the kitten backed away cautiously. He waited patiently as the kitten relaxed. Janus could feel the rain dripping down his face as the cat sniffed his hand. Janus smiled as the whiskers tickled his hand. The cat rubbed its face on Janus' hand and allowed him to reach up to scratch it's chin. “See? I’m not a bad guy, right?”

Meewwww.

The cat whined as Janus pulled his hand out from the gap. “Well, come out then if you want more.”

Mew.

The kitten trailed behind his fingers and reluctantly pushed it head through the door. Janus picked it up, cuddling it close in his arms. The little, cat purred happily in his hands as he scratched his chin. He slowly stood up, just as Logan came around the corner, with a drill in one hand and a towel in the other. His shoulders dropped in surprise as he noticed the purring kitten in Janus' arms.

A subtle smirk appeared on Logan's face as the worry disappeared “I see you didn't actually require my assistance at all.”

Janus' heart fluttered with pride at the smile on Logan’s lips, but he forced himself to play it off nonchalantly. “I only needed a moment alone to work my magic powers.”

Logan smirked back at him. “Well, I will admit I am impressed.”

“Yes, it’s definitely that, and not at all the fact that you’re relieved that I don't have to take your deck apart.” Janus smiled smugly.

“I won’t deny that is preferential to the alternative, but I am impressed you seem to have all the have all the beauty and power of a Disney princess.” Logan narrowed his eyes playfully at him.

Great. At least I know Roman would approve.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Are we going inside then?”

Logan hesitated, suddenly nervous again. When he finally spoke, hos voice was friendly, but cautious. “I must admit I don't usually allow the men I date into my home on the first date."

“Yes, because I often plan to rescue a scared kitten in order to gain access to my date’s homes.” Janus immediately regretted his sarcasm as a look of discomfort crossed Logan’s face. “You know what? That wasn't fair, Logan. If you're uncomfortable, I’ll go. Do you want to take—"

Logan’s face softened quickly and he held up a hand to stop him. “You’re not going anywhere, Janus.”

Janus froze in confusion. “But you just said—”

“I know,” Logan smiled sweetly at him. “but these are hardly normal circumstance. You are helping me, and you’re soaking wet for your efforts. I think I can bend the rules for you. After all, you're hardly a stranger at this point.”

The corner of Janus' lips twitched into a smile and nodded as Logan led him around the front of his house. Stepping inside, he couldn't help but notice that the walls of the room were lined with unpacked boxes.

“Did you just move in?”

“Yesterday.” Logan slipped off his raincoat to reveal the dark blue button up and tie he'd come to expect with him.

“It's a nice place.” Janus glanced around. His home was small, maybe two bedrooms, but it was nicely painted and the dark leather sofa and end tables in the room were definitely high quality. The cloud cover outside dampened the natural light in the room, but a small lamp in the corner illuminated the room in a warm light. “Do you live alone?”

Logan raised an eyebrow at him.

Janus flushed, holding the sleeping kitten close to his chest. “Sorry. I suppose I it would have been wise to start with a less serial-killer-type question.”

Logan laughed and Janus couldn't help but grin stupidly at the smile on Logan’s face.

“I think I can find it in myself to overlook your red flags.” Logan opened one of the boxes and began to unload it's contents in neat piles on the floor. “I had a previous house mate, but he recently moved in with his boyfriend and I moved here.”

“That's rough. I suppose money's a bit tight then? I can't imagine you make enough as a barista to easily afford a place like this.”

Logan lifted the empty box with him as he stood up, giving Janus a strange look. “You are aware I own the coffee shop I work in, correct?”

“What?” Janus mouth dropped open as he nearly shouted in surprise. The kitten mewed irritably, and Janus dropped his voice. “Since when?”

“Since it's inception.” Logan shrugged as he put the shallow box on the sofa. “The previous roommate I mentioned and I actually own a few of them throughout town.”

Janus looked at him dumbfounded. “Is that why you won't let me tip you?”

Logan smiled at Janus’ shock and shrugged as he pulled a blanket off the back of the couch. He tucked the blanket into the box to make a makeshift bed for the kitten in Janus' arms. “It’s not customary to tip the proprietor of an establishment.”

“But you never said that was why.” Janus spat out. “You just played coy with me.”

Logan smirked at him and laughed. “I was… I believe the correct phrase is, ‘being a tease.’”

“Do you mean to tell me you've been flirting with me this entire time?”

“Clearly.” He stated plainly, but Janus could see the subtle smile tugging at his lips. His smile grew as he reached his hands out. “Now, give her to me.”

“Her?” Janus asked as he passed the kitten to Logan

“I'm fairly certain judging by her size and physical traits but…” The cat chirped in protest of being lifted out of the warm towel and he lifted her up to examine her. “She is female. Although I suppose the pronouns are arbitrary, considering cats are not familiar with human social construct of gender—”

“You’re trying to distract me from the fact that you flirted with me for a year, and as you can see, it's working flawlessly.” Janus crossed his arms and tried to look disappointed.

Logan merely rolled his eyes and tucked the kitten under his arm as he reached into an open box to grab a small towel. He gently massaged the dampness off the purring kitten in his hand as he continued speaking. “I think that I enjoy having the figurative tables turned. Usually it is I who is considered the oblivious party.”

“You mean to tell me I could have been dating you this whole time?” Janus put his hand on his forehead in dramatic, mock frustration. “Tragedy does strike at me yet again.”

“You have been quite the conversation at the coffee shop. If I'm not mistaken, there were even betting pools about when you were finally going to ask me out.” Janus blushed and Logan chuckled as the kitten started to climb his shirt. He carefully unhooked the kitten’s claws from his shirt and set her down in the box, and for a moment, they watched as the kitten began to knead the blankets, apparently enthralled by the soft material. Logan drew his eyes away and glanced up at him with a soft smile. “Personally, I'm glad you waited a while though. I prefer to know someone for some time before I consider them as a romantic partner.”

Logan’s voice was carefree as he reached down to stroke the kitten, but Janus heart sank as he was reminded of the potential deal breaker hanging over his head. “Logan…”

Logan's head shot back up at his serious tone.

“Come sit.” He gestured for Logan to join him on the couch. Janus sat on one side of the box and Logan slowly dropped onto to other side. He hung his head and was quiet for a while, hesitant to break their easy chemistry.

“Janus, if I have offended you in some way, I’m sorry—” Logan looked over at him with concern in his eyes.

“You didn't offend me.” Janus hung his head, anxiety building in his chest. He watched kitten twirl around in the box between them and drop into the blanket, laying her head on her tail as she settled in comfortably. “I just would prefer to have this discussion before either if us get too invested.”

Logan stared at him for a while, but nodded and waited patiently as Janus gathered his thoughts.

“Logan, I'm aromantic.” Janus looked up at him expecting disappointment, but was met with a confused expression.

“Well, yes. You smell very pleasant. I don't know what that has to do—”

“What?” Janus paused for a moment before the realization his him. “No. Not aromatic, Logan. Aromantic.”

Logan paused. “I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with the term.”

“Oh, right.” Janus hadn't considered that he may have to explain the concept. “Have you heard of the split attraction model?”

Logan looked at him curiously. “No.”

Janus smiled patiently at him. “It’s based on the idea that there are multiple types of attraction. Many people experience sexual and romantic attraction simultaneously so they consider them to be the same thing, but there's a spectrum of people who experience attraction differently or not at all., and I'm one of those people.”

Logan nodded contemplatively. “Okay.”

“I'm still questioning some of my identity. I assume I'm demisexual, which means I only find people attractive with whom I've formed a significant attachment. To be honest though, I've never been in a situation where I've put that theory into practice so to speak,” Janus sighed and hung his head. “But I know I'm aromantic.”

“Which means what exactly?” Logan inquired seriously, stroking the kitten between them.

“I don't experience romantic attraction.” Janus watched Logan's neutral expression as he explained. “I’m not drawn to people, because I want to be romantic or lovey with them. I don't like holding hands or sappy romantic gestures. The idea of kissing is repulsive to me. I just don't enjoy being part of that kind of relationship, because that kind of affection makes me uncomfortable.”

“So, you are just interested in the potential for sex?”

“No,” Janus’ face scrunched in disgust. “I'm not looking for that at all.”

“I’m sorry. I'm trying not to assume anything.” Logan paused and Janus could see the struggle to understand in Logan's face. “I'm just trying to figure out what your intentions for asking me out were, if they weren't due to some degree of attraction.”

Janus looked up at him, desperation in his eyes. “I am attracted to you in my own way. I enjoyed spending time with you and talking today. I like listening to you laugh or listening to tall excitedly about books. My attraction for you is real. It's just not romantic.”

Logan watched him carefully. “And you’re not just trying to tell me you just want to be friends?”

“No.” Janus said tiredly. His anxiety gave way to exhaustion. “I am interested in a committed relationship with you. I just don't want the type of relationship you see in a rom-com. I want to spend time with you rescuing cats and drinking coffee.”

Logan was quiet for a long time and Janus heart sank further and further with each passing second. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but he felt his heart shattering.

“So,” Logan spoke slowly. “You want to spend time with me. You want to be in a relationship, but you don't want to kiss me hold hands or be affectionate?”

Janus couldn't bring himself to look up at Logan’s face. “I'd be affectionate. It just manifests differently. Something like the thought of listening to you talk excitedly about the stars is more appealing to me that the thought of kissing you.”

Logan was silent, and Janus finally looked up at him. His hand had stopped moving on the kitten's back. Janus heart shattered at the downcast look on Logan’s face. He felt tears in his eyes.

Damn it. Why'd I get invested?

Rejection sucks.

He choked back a sob, and stood to leave. “I'm sorry. This is stupid—”

“Janus—”

“I'm sorry I wasted your time.” Janus turned to go, but Logan caught his wrist.

“Janus, stop.”

“Logan, if you don't want this, it's fi—” Janus’ words failed him as he turned to see tears in Logan’s eyes.

Logan looked down at where he held Janus' wrist before moving his gaze up to his eyes. “I’m sorry. I needed a moment to process what you were saying, I think… I think I may be aromantic too. I just lacked a word to define my feelings.”

Janus froze for a moment, but as Logan dropped his wrist, Janus turned to kneel in front of Logan. “Shit, I didn’t see that coming. I'm sorry. Are you doing okay?”

“I'm not the only one." Logan’s voice was breathless.

Janus' lip curled into a smile. “You're not alone, Logan.”

Logan sighed and he chuckled softly as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “I'm sorry. I’m not usually prone to being this dramatic.”

“You aren't being dramatic.”

“Is that one of your blatant falsehoods that you hide under the guise of sarcasm?” Logan sniffed, but Janus could see a smile twitch on his lips.

“No, I've never been so truthful about anything in my life.” Janus reached a hand out and rested it on Logan's forearm. “Society puts pressure on us to live a certain way. The release of knowing there are other options can be a lot to handle.”

“I never even considered there may be alternatives.” Logan ran a hand through his hair and Janus couldn't resist smiling as Logan mussed his own hair. Seeing Logan let his guard down made his heart flutter. “I simply accepted that I would be slightly uncomfortable in my relationships.”

“You don't have to do that,” Janus smiled up at the him nervously. “especially if I get a part in your journey.”

“Janus?”

“Yes, Logan?” Janus gently squeezed his wrist.

“May I hug you?”

“Yes. I’m certainly not dying for you to do just that.”

Janus stretched his arms out and a warm feeling flooded his chest as Logan pulled him close.

“Thank you, Jan."

Janus' heart fluttered at the nickname and he smiled. “For what?”

“For giving me a word to explain what I've been feeling.”

“I'm glad I could help you.” Janus pulled back as Logan released him. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of Logan’s warm smile and the wet streaks of happy tears glistening on his face. “Can I assume you’re still interested in continuing to see me then?”

“God, yes.” Logan's face flushed and he nervously backtracked. “I mean, if that would be favorable to you.”

“God, yes please.” Janus laughed. His face was almost sore from how wide he was smiling as he wiped away the tears that were now falling freely down his face. Logan laughed and Janus would have sworn that sound to be the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.

Mew.

Janus tore his eyes away from Logan to look down the tiny, black cat crawling to the edge of the box. Realizing she was close to edge, he reached out to stop her, but his reaction was a moment too slow. With a tumble, the kitten fell over the edge of the box and landed softly in Logan’s lap. Janus leaned back on his ankles, watching Logan smile as he stroked the kitten in his lap. She purred loudly, bumping her head insistently against Logan’s hands in demand for more attention.

“What are you going to do with her?”

Logan looked up at Janus with a sad smile. “She is well taken care of a shows indications of prior human socialization, so I expect I should attempt to find her owner.”

Janus smirked, seeing the growing fondness in Logan's eyes as he looked down at the satisfied kitten. “And if you can't find her owner?”

“I have always desired the companionship of a cat. They're exceptionally clever creatures, but I never had the opportunity because my previous housemate was allergic.” Logan looked up at Janus with a sparkle in his eye. “So, if attempts to find her owner are unsuccessful, you may have just given me the perfect house-warming gift.”

“Good, because I want to give you everything.” Janus smiled happily and his heart felt light in his chest as he stared into Logan’s eyes.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #ts logan #ts janus #lociet #New Labels #villain writes #qpr #qpr loceit

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

Text

His Dark Materials S2 Ep 6 - Rambling/Thoughts

I really cannot believe that we’re at the penultimate episode already, oh my gosh. It’s gone by so fast??

Again, because I’ve reread TSK in the last couple of weeks, the book is fresh in my mind but I’ve probably still missed stuff

Also last week was so intense and seeing the “previously on” section made me remember just how intense that was, so it’s a hard job to top that!

ANGELS AHH RIGHT AWAY IM GEEKING OUT

“The last time they were seen was to make war” - IT’S HAPPENING ASDFGHJKL

Ruta going off to see Asriel and me just remembering what exactly went down between them while she was there with him... heh

So Will’s hand looks AWFUL oh my god poor Will 😭

Pan is REALLY into his Red PAN-da form oh my goodness

So the other kids out for revenge terrified the living SHIT out of me, dear god I don’t think it could be any creepier than dozens of them appearing out of the shadows like that, like it’s genuinely terrifying

Serafina just dropped right in to rescue them and I was both relieved and a little disappointed? Because in the book the whole chase sequence is so much longer and more important, like it takes up most of an entire chapter I think, and here it’s like two minutes?

Serafina: What does this edge cut? // Lyra: Everything (Will at the same time: Nothing.) - 😂

I missed Lee and Jopari tbh so yay to seeing them once more! And they’ve crossed into the next world!

Oh hi again Mary!

^ I wasn’t expecting to see Mary again this series because in TSK book, her last appearance is going through the window (which was last episode), so I’m a little curious as to whether we’re going to get a TINY little peek into The Amber Spyglass here (it’s been years since I reread it, I apologize). Because last series they did a bit of TSK (namely introducing Will + him crossing into Cittagazze), so it would be interesting!

“Good, something I can understand for a change” - LOL Same

Serafina wants to take Lyra back to her world?? Really??

Not gonna lie, the two girls spying on Mary was kind of low-key creepy

Lyra mentioning that she crossed worlds to find out about Dust and mentioning Roger 😭

Also I’m so emotional over just how much she wants Will to be safe, like she would really do anything to keep him safe and I love it

Lyra asking the Alethiometer where Will’s dad is and “he’s in this world” - ahhh it’s going to happen!

Also I really hope that the BBC/whoever decides to sell replica Alethiometers because the design is so beautiful?! I would fork out serious dough for one, and it would go nicely with the one I have from the film

No but seriously, words don’t describe just how badly I want a replica

“I wanted to fly so I summoned you here, now I’m flying” - LOL OKAY THEN JOHN

Ooh damn, that outfit Marisa is wearing is FINE. I’m slightly gayer than I was before, ngl

I was like “nooo Mary don’t be nice to these kids, they’re awful”

But it’s very sweet that she offers them food?? Like she pulls a chocolate bar out and is like “it’s no good for you, it’s full of sugar”... I love her

The way that Mary was so happy and excited when they mentioned Lyra, only to tell the girls off for trying to kill her - more of a mum than Mrs Coulter tbh

“Miss, can I have a hug?” - AWWW OMG WHY AM I SAD

They asked Mary to stay and look after them omg 😭😭😭

“Come with me, I’ll bring you to your adults” - ooh okay this could go any number of ways... Either she actually reunites them with their families and all’s well, or she takes them up there and their parents/adults are all dead (for lack of a better word)? Or the Spectres attack after Mary leaves them with the adults??

Jopari talking about meeting his dæmon and also a little bit about trying to get back to his family :(

“Can you magic us up a fire?” “One moment” *presents a box of matches” - LMFAO

Wait did Serafina seriously just imply that she thought Will might hurt Lyra?!?

Serafina saying that if protecting Lyra means protecting Will as well... Yes, protect Will please! Protect BOTH of these children, I literally BEG you, they’ve gone through far too much

Ooh okay so the witch ritual/spell was kind of cool to see!

Lyra saying “please tell me he’ll be alright” 😭♥️

The fact that Lyra curled up close to Will and then Pan (in ermine form) curled up CLOSER to Will is so cute, they both love Will so much

Pan: “We feel safe her... don’t we?” / OOF OKAY THIS IS F I N E

I already know what Lyra’s “other name” is because I read the book but the hints are anything BUT subtle tbh. “Mother of us all, cause of all sin, tempted by the serpent”... I’m not even that religious but I think it’s pretty obvious.

Also, if Mary is playing the part of the “serpent” within Lyra’s destiny, does that mean that Mary has tempted Lyra? Or that she will?

Boreal being nervous about being in the city and Marisa is just so unimpressed by him... Mood

That smirk she had when going up to that Spectre victim was so chilling, we have to stan Ruth Wilson and her incredible acting

Also, fun fact, Ruth Wilson went to my sixth form college and is from Surrey (like me), and she grew up in Shepperton, which is where my Nan used to live when she was alive (my uncle and aunt live there still), so that’s super exciting!

“We could learn from this” - PLEASE DO NOT MA’AM

God I hate the Magisterium so fucking much, the patriarchy is so strong with them

Oh great, now they’re gunning to kill Lyra :/

Also, off topic, I’ve only just connected that Will Keen, who plays Father MacPhail, is Dafne Keen’s dad?!?

“She’s lost a lot for one so young” - AND SHE’S STILL GOING TO LOSE PEOPLE, WHY IS THIS FAIR PHILIP PULLMAN 😭

“She must be protected” - AGAIN, they BOTH need protecting PLEASE

The Spectre noises reminded me of the noises of the Smoke Monster from LOST, so that’s definitely trippy for me

Thanks, I hate it

I nearly shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING” out loud in front of both my parents, I seriously thought she had a damn death wish

I have never been so damn tense in my entire life as I am watching this show - and I KNOW what happens

HOW DID SHE DO THAT WITH THE SPECTRES SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

Lee’s so worried about Lyra - 11/10, Father of the Year

The Magisterium airships... NO. FUCK. WE’RE AT THAT POINT ALREADY AND IM NOT OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW AND WHERE THIS ENDS AND I HATE IT

I deadass thought Marisa and Carlo were about to kiss when he ran up to her and I actually said out loud “NO please don’t”

Look I must just be so dirty minded but when she said “let’s celebrate”, my immediate reaction was “NO NO NO NO EW EW EW NO” and “I hope she just means having a drink and not doing the frickety-frack”

I was so close to tearing up as Will was talking about his mum, her illness, and the boys who were mean to her because of it. His love for his mum is so beautifully written and the way Amir Wilson is playing Will is so wonderful

I was also close to tears when he was talking about his dad and how he used to imagine about his dad, so maybe I’m just emotional anyway

“Could go to school... have friends” - okay yeah no I’m definitely crying 😭

“I couldn’t trust anyone.” “Until you met me.” “Yeah.” - EXCUSE ME ♥️😭 my HEART

I love one (1) soft boy, and one (1) feral girl and her dæmon

The relief I felt when I saw Marisa and Carlo were literally just having drinks 😅

“They consume what makes us human, so I just suppressed that and hid it” + *cut to the monkey looking kinda sad/uncomfortable* - Umm fUCK OKAY THEN

Why am I feeling sorry for the monkey?!?

“You think we’re equal?” - LMFAO RIGHT

EWW THEY KISSED. No, just... nO

When I saw his snake dæmon moving towards her monkey, I thought one of two things was about to happen: 1) the monkey was going to pet and paw and the snake as Marisa seduced Boreal, or 3) the monkey was going to strange the snake and kill Boreal

OKAY THIS TOOK A SHARP BUT NOT UNWELCOMED TURN

“You’ve NEVER been my equal.” “You’d only hold me back.” - OH MY GOD YES THE SHADE

She’s not wrong though let’s be honest here

So she poisoned him I’m assuming? She poisoned his drink because the monkey didn’t actually touch the snake... damn.

Her just sitting there and continuing to drink with his dead body there is... damn.

“Into that valley” NO NO, please no

Jopari really just summoned a whole damn storm huh

Also the fact he fully trusts in Lee’s abilities to land them safely :3

Lee: “Can we trust him?” // Hester: “Do we have another choice?!!” - LMFAO I love them so much

THE WAY I NEARLY SCREAMED WHEN THAT WITCH GOT ATTACKED BY A SPECTRE OMFG AT LEAST WILL WAS THERE TO SAVE HER

Okay but did Marisa REALLY sit there for HOURS with Boreal’s corpse sitting opposite her?!?

Her burning her hand on the flame in front of the monkey, and the monkey clearly whimpering and in pain was so agonizing to watch, I can’t take this show

Also, you have to wonder just how many times she’s harmed herself (and him) for her to keep doing it with next to no problems (like separating from each other all the time)

I was so excited to see the birds attacking the zeppelins, like it was one of my favourite details in the book, and I worried that they wouldn’t have the budget for it but yay!

I do kind of wish that we’d had Sayan Kötor as the “eagle Queen” leading them though - she probably was but I wish we’d actually seen it or heard Jopari say it or whatever

THEY SHOT THE GAS CANNISTER OH SHIT THEY’RE GOING DOWN HARD AND FAST IN THAT BALLOON

HOLD ON BBC YOU CANNOT END THIS THERE?!? EXCUSE ME?!

The last episode is next week and on an hour earlier, so that’s exciting! I have no idea what I’ll do once this series ends, or when we’ll even get the third and final series because of COVID and filming delays, but I’m excited for it nonetheless and hoping it’s next November/December or something!

#his dark materials #hdm #lyra belacqua #lyra silvertongue #marisa coulter #mrs coulter #will parry #serafina pekkala #ruth wilson #dafne keen #amir wilson #pantalaimon #john parry #lee scoresby #hester

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hotchley · 3 years

Text

the waiting game

Lol, my laptop is at 2%. Look, I’ll be back in an hour to do my masterlist, I just really, really need to get this done because it should’ve been done many months ago.

It’s fine. Umm... yeah, nothing else to say :)

Trigger Warnings: child abuse, references to child abuse, death threats from a parent, bombings

read on ao3!

Jason Gideon always told new recruits that certain things about their jobs got easier with time and experience. He told them their hands would remain steady when they fired a gun and that the noise would not always make them flinch. He told them they would get used to late-night calls and sleepless nights. that they wouldn’t always find it so difficult when the people they loved walked away, unable to handle not knowing what was going to happen.

A lot of things about their job got easier.

The waiting game only got harder.

Because you learnt things

Gideon had been on the team longer than the other members put together. he knew what happened when each of his members ended up in the hospital. He’d made a point of taking Reid each time, just so he could be sure his order of events was correct.

Adrian Bale meant he’d had six less agents to remember.

That was supposed to have been the last time Aaron Hotchner ended up in the hospital, unconscious and barely breathing. Gideon had vowed to himself that no matter how difficult it was, Hotch would make it home to Haley and Jack every night.

But he’d failed.

Aaron hadn’t wanted Elle going home. he’d taken her to the same hotel Haley was in. Elle had felt a little uncomfortable being in the adjoining room, but her discomfort quickly faded. Haley seemed used to looking after Aaron’s second family and Jack was still willing to be held by strangers.

He’d swung by her place to make sure it was safe.

It hadn’t been, but he was the best shot in the BAU. No, not just the BAU, the entire Quantico building. He was so good that when he demanded that they passed Reid with flying colours, nobody questioned him.

There had been- in his words- a small scuffle but he was fine.

Everyone was too exhausted to argue or even notice. But Gideon knew he should’ve said something. He’d known Aaron Hotchner since he had been dragged in by David Rossi, somehow bright-eyed and cynical at the same time.

He should’ve known Aaron was more hurt than he was willing to let on. He always was. and he should have realised before he sent him into another building that contained an innocent civilian and somebody that they couldn’t really profile. Somebody that they couldn’t plan the endgame of.

It felt like Adrian Bale all over again.

Only everyone had known Aaron was going to survive the moment he pulled the oxygen mask off his face, demanded to know who was representing Bale in his trial before passing out again.

Now... none of that could be confirmed.

He hadn’t been able to stay conscious enough to ask for Haley.

“Tell me what happened,” he asked again. Morgan and Reid had refused the other six times he’d asked them. Six hours Hotch had been in the hospital. He still wasn’t awake.

“Gideon this isn’t going to help anyone, least of all you,” Morgan sighed.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

“He was carrying Rebecca out of the building because it was on fire. Then he suddenly dropped her on the grass and keeled over, one hand pressed to his side. Morgan grabbed Rebecca, got her out. I tried to help Hotch, but he told me to run. And I did. And then the building exploded and-”

And that was when he’d got the phone call from Reid. Morgan had phoned the ambulance the moment Hotch fell. Reid had phoned Gideon, barely able to string two sentences together. It was as though his eidetic memory and IQ had just been taken from him.

Reid looked away, unable to say another word. His cheeks were stained with tears, his foot-tapping the only comfort he was able to provide himself.

“He wouldn’t have got hurt if I’d gone home,” Elle whispered.

“You can’t blame yourself,” JJ murmured, but she sounded distant. Like she was trying to stay in liaison mode but couldn’t. She hadn’t even been with the BAU for a year the last time Hotch had ended up in the hospital. She’d been terrified then. Now she just looked tired.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” Gideon added, wishing he could see what was going on. But the door to the room Hotch was in had been closed, the curtains pulled around. “If you’d gone home, in the state you were in, you wouldn’t have won. It’d be you in there, and Hotch would be pacing outside blaming himself.” Besides, he thought to himself. The only person that should be blaming themselves was him. He was supposed to have Hotch’s back. He was the one that was supposed to be able to read all his tells without even having to try and profile him.

Hotch was still in surgery. In all the cases that had ended with Hotch landing himself in the hospital, the surgeries had been minor. When Adrian Bale had struck, he’d spent four hours in surgery. In Gideon’s opinion, the injuries sustained from that had been more serious.

Hotch had been in surgery for six and a half hours. That didn’t fit the pattern. It didn’t fit the pattern and Gideon knew this time that it wasn’t a good thing.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself either,” a soft voice said from behind them.

“Haley,” he whispered.

Haley gave them all a hesitant smile. It was clear she’d been sobbing and was only being held together by the thinnest thread. “How are you all holding up?”

The laugh Garcia let out was slightly hysterical. “Mrs Hotchner, we’re not important. You are. So is your husband. How are you doing?”

The corners of her mouth turned downwards. “I don’t feel like it’s hit me yet. I’ve known for a very long time there’s a chance he won’t come down and I’ve always prepared for that, but it just doesn’t feel real. I keep expecting him to walk out that door with his arm in a sling and a goofy smile because of the pain medication.”

“We’ll be here when it does hit. And we’ll help in any way we can,” JJ promised.

Haley nodded, shaking as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I know. Aaron always said that he wasn’t afraid of dying. Not when he knew his team would be there to tell Jack stories and stop me from resenting the only piece of him that I would have left.”

“Where is the little one?” Morgan asked, both to lighten the mood and to change the subject. They’d never realized how much Hotch loved them all. How much he trusted them.

“With my sister. We didn’t- after Boston- oh my god, it’s just like Boston isn’t it? He’s going to, he won’t- I-” she whimpered, the dam finally breaking.

It was Garcia that reacted first. It was a stark contrast, Penelope’s brightness against the subdued pastels of Haley’s pajamas- and Gideon wanted to be sick, she must have been ready to go to sleep when she got the phone call- but it was needed.

When Garcia pulled away, not quite letting go, Haley wiped her eyes.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, after Boston, we agreed that Jack- we hadn’t picked his name then, god it feels like yesterday, that we wouldn’t let him see us in the hospital. We wanted to let him believe his parents were invincible for as long as possible.”

Gideon knew that promise. he also knew that Hotch had promised to step down once Gideon returned. He had been selfish when he’d asked him not to.

“He’ll make it out,” Elle said.

She hadn’t witnessed Adrian Bale’s attack on Gideon. That’s how she was able to stay so positive. But everyone else had. They’d watched as twenty-two civilians had been taken hostage, as Hotch had gone into the building to try and negotiate with him, despite Gideon explicitly forbidding him to do so because Haley was waiting at home for him.

That was the one and only time Hotch’s anger had been directed at a member of the team. His eyes had darkened, his voice pitched lower than they’d ever heard it. He’d looked Gideon in the eye, no longer the scared recruit, and told him to go fuck himself.

He’d walked into the building. Without a vest. The only weapon being the gun in the holster that was attached to his belt. One of the hostages had been forced to take it from him. Aaron had given them the same encouraging smile he gave to all the victims they saved, to all the distraught family members that were scared of being the cause of their loved one’s end.

Adrian Bale had taken one look at him and laughed. That had thrown Hotch off. He had thought that seeing the lead profiler of the elite BAU team would make him sweat and give him what he wanted. He said as much.

Adrian Bale said that when he looked at Aaron Hotchner, he didn’t see the lead profiler or bad cop. He didn’t see the head of the Seattle field office or one of the best shots SWAT had ever seen. He didn’t even see the hotshot prosecutor he’d began as.

Aaron asked him what he did see.

Bale’s response haunted everyone. He said he saw a boy too afraid of his own feelings to ever truly love anyone. He said the only reason Hotch had walked in was because he was too much of a coward to leave his pregnant wife but if he died in the line of duty, well that was different. He said Aaron loved Jason Gideon and all he wanted was his approval.

The camera was grainy, but the tremble in Aaron’s hands was unmistakable.

Morgan had tried to run in. It was Gideon’s arm that had stopped in. It was Gideon that had said they needed to wait to get Hotch out. It was Gideon that had misread Aaron’s body language and sent six of his best agents in.

They didn’t need eidetic memories to have the look of complete fear on Gideon’s face when Hotch was blown away branded in their brain forever. Or the scream he’d released when they finally uncovered the body, the rise and fall of his chest barely noticeable. Or to remember how Haley had arrived two days later because of problems with flight bookings, face devoid of any colour, the swell of her stomach a stark reminder of everything that would be lost if Hotch didn’t pull through.

Elle Greenaway only knew SSA Hotchner: the man that stared down unsubs, barked orders at everyone, carried a back-up weapon because he was just that good and never smiled. She didn’t know him as Aaron, the man that hated hospitals so much that every time he regained consciousness, the doctors had been forced to sedate him for his own benefit. Or that the only person that had been able to touch him was Haley, his mouth trying to form her name but never making it past the first syllable, despite all his years of spinning stories to a jury.

Or that the only reason Hotch carried a back-up was because very few people would notice it was there. John Blackwolf had thrown him off, made him doubt again. Gideon had found it difficult to convince him everything was fine, so he didn’t. He just dropped him home to Haley and watched from his car as Hotch became Aaron, falling apart in Haley’s arms.

“I know,” Haley whispered, pulling Gideon from his memories.

“Would you like anything to drink? I can go and grab you a coffee if you want,” he said, needing to do something other than watch his team fall to pieces. Aaron was the one that sat and reminded them they were human, that it wasn’t their fault. It was the reason they would call him mom. Gideon was just there.

Haley shook her head. “I want you to be here. In case you’re needed.”

Because of course he would be. Haley Hotchner was Aaron’s wife, so she was automatically listed as his medical proxy. But Aaron never wanted her to be burdened by his job any more than she already was. Which meant if something happened in the field. the doctors were to automatically defer to Gideon. Haley was consulted if it was something non-case related.

“Of course,” he said, as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Excuse me? Are you all here for Aaron Hotchner?”

“Yes,” Haley said, the first to find their voice as the profilers tried to work out whether the news they were about to be given was good or bad.

“He’s out of surgery, there were no complications there and we’ve got him through the worst of it. But he’s still not woken up, and his breathing is shallow, hence the reason we haven’t taken him off the ventilator yet. So as much as we want to hope for the best, I want you to understand there is a chance he may not make it. His body has been put through a lot in the past year.”

Gideon did not want to think about every injury Hotch had been forced to suffer through since returning. The collar of his shirts had never quite hidden the bruised skin where Perotta had touched him.

“Can we see him?” Haley asked. She looked so young. So vulnerable. Gideon swallowed. She’d never been forced to hide her emotions the same way Hotch had. She’d never been afraid of being profiled. He doubted she ever had been, Hotch was too honourable.

“My colleagues are still treating him. I think it’d be better if we waited until he woke up. You should all get some rest, you look exhausted.”

Haley shook her head. “I’d like to be here.”

“Of course,” the doctor said, turning on their heel and walking away again.

“I’m just going to phone Jessica and ask her to keep Jack for a little longer,” she said, voice trembling.

Everyone nodded and chose not to comment when Haley vanished for ten minutes, returning with red-rimmed eyes.

“He trusted me to save his life when I hadn’t even passed my gun qualification,” Reid said suddenly.

“I know. He told me about that. He said he knew you could do it, that it would just take a bit of a patience and maybe an extremely stressful situation. Apparently, you do your best work under intense terror. Not that he wanted the two of you to end up hostages He also blamed himself when you didn’t pass. Thought he’d scared you so much when you were practicing that you got in your head and just forgot everything, even though that’s impossible,” Haley responded.

Reid’s head jerked up in response. “He actually said that to you?”

Haley nodded. “He tells me about all of you. He sees Sean- you met him didn’t you, yes you did- in you. You’re both young. Got the whole world to explore and yet you chose to do the one thing nobody expected.”

“I bet he always has bad stories about me,” Morgan teased.

“He trusts you. More than you think he does. And he wants you to trust him as well. He doesn’t listen when I say you do; you just show it in a different way. All you profilers show things in a different way. That’s what I’ve learnt. That there are some things you will never see the same way.”

“What does he say about me?” Elle asked, genuinely curious. She’d only met Haley in passing; the day they bought Jack in. And the time they’d spent in the hotel could hardly count.

“A lot. He’s scared this job is going to take your sense of humour away. He thinks that you’re going to wake up one day and hate him for letting this job consume your life. He worries about all of you though.”

“He worries about all of us?” that was JJ.

“Of course. He thinks that he’s taking your chances at happiness away from you by calling you in at ungodly hours, disrupting your vacations, making you look at what happens to happy couples and innocent children- I really shouldn’t say anymore I just always assumed you knew.”

“We don’t profile team members,” Elle said, slightly defensive.

“I didn’t think you did. I just assumed he spoke to you,” Haley said, but there was no accusation in her tone. Just the smallest amount of surprise and confusion.

The members of the team started staring awkwardly in various directions, suddenly aware of how little Hotch actually shared with them. Only Morgan had even known Sean existed, and that was only because he’d knocked on the office door that one time.

Loud shouts from the room Hotch was in drew their attention. Everyone immediately stood, Haley and Jason moving forward so they would be the first person the doctor spoke to. They were too far away to determine the specifics of the conversation, but from the volume and range of voices they could hear told him it was a group of doctors and nurses.

The shouting stopped soon after though, and Gideon immediately knew that the silence could only mean that Hotch had been sedated. A part of him was glad the other man had woken up, but he was mostly wondering it that was the last time it would happen.

A few minutes passed. Garcia was humming to herself. Morgan was sat, staring at the wall, eyes glazed over as he ran through every moment that led up to the explosion. JJ was biting her nails. Gideon wanted to tell her to stop but he couldn’t. That was what Hotch did. Haley tugged her hand away and grasped it. Elle placed her hand on Reid’s knee. He stopped tapping his foot, looking up at her with the same confused look he wore when someone referenced pop culture. Elle smiled slightly. Gideon stood to the side. He didn’t deserve them.

The same doctor as before exited the room.

“He keeps asking after his father,” she said.

Haley immediately jumped out of her chair and went over before Gideon could get a single word out. Hotch had never mentioned his father after ending up in the hospital. Sometimes he asked if Sean was safe. Most of the time he asked for Haley. Never once had he mentioned his parents. Jason did not know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, but despite every part of him wanting to hope, he knew he was aware of the answer and that he was just too cowardly to admit it

“You have to let me in there,” she said.

“Mrs Hotchner with all due respect-”

“No. I know my husband’s medical history. You can’t keep sedating him, not when he needs to be conscious to answer your questions and not when there are only so many drugs his body can handle. But he isn’t asking after his father because he loves him. He’s asking where he is because he thinks he needs to work out how much more time he’s got before he needs to start pretending again. Let me in there, and he’ll cooperate.”

The doctor seemed to understand that there was no way they’d be able to win that particular battle. They sighed, then extended one arm to the door. Haley ran into the room, everyone else congregating outside.

“The painkillers will wear off in a few minutes,” the doctor told them all.

Haley nodded, immediately going to kneel beside Hotch’s bed, gently taking one hand and holding it tight, He was paler than anyone had ever seen him. His stomach was a mess of bruises and burns, some recent, others marks from a childhood that never should have happened.

Gideon watched, tears forming in his eyes. Hotch looked younger with his eyes closed. The pressures of the year seemed to fade, only to be made even clearer by the damage not covered by the hospital gown.

“Why isn’t he waking up?” Reid asked, five minutes later. His voice was shaky.

Haley’s grip tightened minutely. “Baby?” she whispered.

Aaron didn’t move. His heartrate remained steady, the beeping of the monitor the only sound that filled the room.

The doctors and nurses were preparing to do the rest of what they needed to do. Gideon felt his own heart slowing down. Aaron’s heart was beating but his eyes weren’t opening and the rise and fall of his chest was a shallow as when they’d first found him after Bale and none of this fit the pattern-

“I didn’t mean it, I swear, none of this was supposed to happen-” Aaron murmured, head rolling to the side.

Haley gasped and let go of his hand, just for a moment, before she realised what she’d done and grasped it again. “Aaron?”

Aaron’s eyes fluttered open. He struggled to keep them like that. “Where am I?” he whispered, southern accent coming out slightly.

That fit the pattern of his recovery.

“Mr Hotchner, you’re in Lockhart Hospital. Can you tell me your birth name and date of birth?” a nurse asked, voice firm but gentle.

“Hospital? No, I can’t be in the hospital, he’ll find me. He said he’ll kill mama and make me watch but I swear I didn’t come here myself, where is he, I can’t let him hurt them, I can’t-”

One of the members of staff prepared an injection.

“Don’t,” Haley warned, shifting closer to him.

“Mrs Hotchner-”

“Just a moment. I promise. Hey sunshine. It’s me. It’s Haley. You’re safe, I promise. He can’t hurt you. He’s dead now. He’s not here, and nobody is going to hurt you. Everybody just wants you to get better. Your team are here. You remember them right? Agent Gideon, Doctor Reid. Garcia and Morgan and JJ and Elle? Yes, you remember them. Well they’re all waiting for you to recover because they love you. I love you too. And nobody is going to hurt you. Do you understand?”

“Haley?” Aaron whispered.

Haley nodded. “I’m right here sunshine. And I’ll be right here when you’re ready to recover. So take a deep breath with me, that’s so good, I’m so proud of you sunshine, just keep doing that. Are you going to close your eyes? Okay. Just please wake- when you wake up, remember that you’re safe. Can you do that for me?”

“Safe,” Aaron repeated as his eyes closed, unable to take the pain he must’ve still been in.

Haley didn’t let go of her husband.

One of the nurses tapped her shoulder then quietly asked if she’d be okay waiting outside as they prepared the room for the next time he woke up, as they were no longer keeping him sedated and he seemed to be breathing himself, which meant they could move on.

Haley nodded and let go of Hotch’s hand. When she faced the team, Garcia immediately embraced her, and she started crying again.

“Let’s go back to the waiting room,” Gideon said, unable to handle the sight any longer. Garcia didn’t let go of Haley, choosing instead to wrap her arm around her as they left.

“When Aaron was seventeen, his dad broke his arm and then refused to let him go to the hospital. He passed out in the middle of a lesson the next day and the school were forced to call an ambulance. He didn’t become coherent till they got there, and he wouldn’t stop screaming. I’d snuck in and was the only person he wouldn’t flinch away from,” she said once they’d all sat down.

Elle’s jaw dropped. Garcia started crying herself. Morgan looked away. JJ and Reid grabbed each other’s hands. They’d all assumed something had gone on in Hotch’s childhood- he never spoke about his family, he was always rougher with unsubs that they profiled as being abusive fathers- but there was a difference between making the inference and hearing it from the person that knew him best.

“He’s lucky to have you,” Jason commented.

“Allowing him to feel his emotions and letting him know that he’s safe is doing the bare minimum,” Haley said.

He didn’t have a comeback to that.

Thirty minutes passed before the doctor came back. It was good news. The profilers could tell.

“He’s awake and stable enough to receive visitors now,” they said.

Everyone jumped out.

“Go on,” Gideon said to Haley, who dashed into the room and hugged her husband.

He made a small sound of discomfort, but still tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Hi Haley,” he whispered.

She laughed, sitting on the bed beside him. “You’re okay.”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

The rest of the team filed into the room. Reid looked ready to cry again.

“Spencer, you cannot blame yourself. I told you to run because I wanted you to, and if you hadn’t, I’d be furious at you for always trying to be the hero. Elle, the same goes for you. I took you to the hotel. Nobody asked me to go to your house, so stop looking at me like I’m about to break. I’ll be fine,” he said.

Hospital painkillers had always made him lose his filter.

Garcia started laughing. “I’m sorry, it’s not funny, but sir your accent is coming through and it’s so hard to take you seriously when you’re laid up in bed with your hair all mussed and your accent but you’re still trying to tell them off and, it’s just, it’s confirmation you’re going to be fine.”

Hotch gave her a grin. Haley ran her hand through his hair, messing it up further.

“Thanks Hotch,” Reid said. He rocked on the balls of his feet for a few moments before muttering something that sounded suspiciously like fuck it and he too went and hugged Hotch. Haley shifted slightly. Hotch raised his arms to wrap around Reid’s back.

“Everything will be fine,” he whispered. “I promise.”

Reid pulled back with tears in his eyes but a smile on his face.

“No more close calls like that. You hear me?” Morgan chastised, patting Hotch’s shoulder.

Hotch rolled his eyes. “You aren’t the boss of me Morgan. I’m the boss of you.”

“Aaron,” Haley said.

He blushed, making everyone laugh. “Fine.”

The women of the team came over. Elle gave him a quick one-armed hug, whispering in Spanish so the rest of the team didn’t understand. Hotch wiped his eyes when she went to stand by the others. JJ hugged him gently, saying that he didn’t get to terrify them like that because he was mom and they needed him. Garcia’s heels made a comically loud sound as she walked over to him.

“You are the most self-destructive unit chief I know. But you’re also the most handsome, loving, sweet one as well. And I know you won’t stop putting your life on the line for our baby genius and chocolate thunder so let’s compromise: you can do dumb and reckless things but you’re not allowed to complain when we pamper you afterwards, okay?”

Hotch blinked a few times. “Sure Garcia.”

Garcia hugged him again, pressing a kiss to his forehead that left a pink mark behind. Haley laughed, which led to the analyst immediately shuffling over to the rest of their rag-tag family.

Gideon watched from the doorway as the rest of his team and Haley sat with Hotch, laughing and joking. He couldn’t bring himself to walk in there and comfort Hotch. Not when it had all been his fault. The team had saved an innocent girl. Hotch had pulled through again. There was a high that came with that, and he wasn’t about to ruin it for any of them.

But what happened when the high ran out?

Elle would realise her leader wasn’t the stoic man she once thought he was. Spencer and Derek would be forced to help Hotch pour his coffee and climb the stairs to his office because he couldn’t do it alone but he didn’t want to ask. Garcia would go home to an empty apartment, wondering which one of her family she’d almost lose next. JJ would have to deal with the media fallout of the case.

Haley would hold her husband, wondering how much more he would be able to give to his job before he broke. Before it broke them. Aaron would have more scars that he’d never be able to recover from.

Gideon would be forced to watch as they all returned to work, scared fractured but incapable of walking away. David Rossi had always said there would be people waiting in the wings to take over, but Gideon didn’t agree. Only the people that had seen the depths of depravity were willing to put themselves through the horrors of profiling.

Aaron looked up and met Gideon’s eyes. He looked terrified.

Gideon smiled. He had to.

But he knew.

He knew Elle would break. He could see she was already struggling with the guilt. He knew that one day, probably soon, he wouldn’t be able to look at his team without seeing their scars or the people he’d failed.

He knew Haley wouldn’t be able to handle her husband’s job forever.

Jason Gideon knew that each member of his team would fall in their own way. He did not know whether or not they would be able to get up. He did know, however, that it would be another round of the waiting game.

And it would only get harder.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #oh my god i'm so glad this is done #right #once my laptop is charged #because it is at one percent #i will do my final masterlist #aaron hotchner #sumayyah writes cm

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writing-gifts · 3 years

Text

A/N: totally not canon interaction but i wanted to practice some before i try to write anything serious for nimh... also i misremembered how they originally met when i started writing this so i double downed lol

reader is gender neutral

----

The weather was nice today so you had been out and about to prevent yourself from hiding in your home for the rest of the week.

Ever since yesterday, you were stressed for multiple reasons and you were hoping this walk would help take your mind off things. You were currently spending your lunch outside at a restaurant. Unfortunately, you doubt you could eat at a time like this with one of your stressors in plain sight.

You stare at another table a distance away, hiding partly behind a menu to avoid bringing attention to yourself.

What had you on such high alert was the occupant at said table: A rabbit, trying to hold a fork between their paws. But without thumbs it looked to be a very difficult task. The fork falls from their grip once again and they sigh. It looks as if they've given up.

That had to be one of the boys you accidentally cursed at the zoo! You're sure that's the blonde bunny who asked for a refund too. Before you could give it to him though, one of the predators among all the scattering animals got a little too close and he hightailed it. You sigh a bit to yourself. It still seems unreal but that's what really occurred.

So much happened that day including you getting fired. Damn your boss--like it was your fault that you got distracted and passed out the wrong water to the visitors! What type of zoo even needs a magically-cursed water supply anyways!?

You shake your head and put down the menu. This wasn't the time to get even more worked up so you take a deep breath. You hadn't really rehearsed what to say when you found the guys--animals… manimals. How do you even bring up that you accidentally cursed someone, but you could change them back with the power of love?

You get up. You'll just have to tear it off like a bandage. Even if this felt more like a wax strip situation...

Making your way over to the rabbit who was now eating his salad with his paws--which was very cute by the way--you steel yourself.

You give your friendliest smile when you're close enough to show that you don't mean harm. He still tenses up like....well, a rabbit and looks like he wants to bolt. Poor thing, he probably can't control it. Fortunately for you, he doesn't actually run.

"Uh hello, I'm sorry to interrupt your meal. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I noticed that you're an...animal."

"O-Oh that's quite okay." A kind sounding voice comes from the rabbit, which was pretty well fitting actually. "You don't usually see rabbits trying to use utensils so I can see why you'd find this strange. You don't ever see them doing that actually, as far as I know."

You wave off the idea. "Trust me, I don't find it strange at all."

"Really? I'm still trying to get used to it myself. You see I'm not usually like--" he motions to his furry body "--this."

"Actually, that's why I'm here. I think I can help you with your predicament! Do you remember the day you changed at the zoo? I was the worker there passing out water at the entrance. You asked me for a refund."

He tilts his head and his nose twitches. Again, cute but this wasn't the time for that. You hold your hands behind your back so you don't accidentally try to reach out and pet him.

"Right! I remember you just before the...panther."

You grimace. That must have been extremely frightening for him so you can't help feeling guilty. You would definitely make sure to fix this and you had words for that panther. Once you found him.

"Well you see…I might have been the cause. The water I gave was apparently magically-cursed water and-and now all these guys are animals! Somehow, I have to change them back with the power of friendship--wait no--love! I'm not even sure how that works though, but this little creature told me to...so yeah."

You stop yourself from rambling any further.

The rabbit stares at you wide eyed and his little laugh sounds very unsure. "...Umm I don't know what to say to that, but I suppose that's not so far fetched considering that magic is apparently real."

"Wait, so you believe me?"

"I guess I don't not believe you. Er sorry for the double negative. I'm not exactly jumping for joy at being a rabbit. And better hearing is definitely not worth the trade-off of opposable thumbs. So I would like to try out your plan at least."

"Oh wow...Okay, cool!"

With that out of the way you calm down a considerable amount. You hadn't expected him to accept the idea so quickly. Maybe this whole magical animal quest would be a piece of cake!

"Let's go on a date then. That would be a good way to start to get you to fall for me!"

You need to find a new job stat.

He looks kind of bashful but nods. "That sounds like a good first step."

"Oh wait, I totally forgot about names. I'm ____. What's yours?"

"Nimh."

"Well nice to meet you Nimh. I'm sorry I turned you into an animal. And even though this has definitely caused you much trouble, you do make a very cute bunny."

You'd never seen a rabbit blush but here you were. And it was absolutely adorable.

Oh powers that be, give me strength.

"Well gosh. Thank you ____...I think?"

"You're very welcome." You sit down at his table. "This can be our pre-date."

Nimh chuckles a bit at your lame attempt at a joke and you think you already like him.

"By the way..."

You immediately put all your attention on the rabbit. Scratch the 'think'. You definitely like him (if your urgency to please him said anything).

"Why would a zoo have magically-cursed water for?" he asks.

"Oh my god, that's what I've been wondering!"

#very short #but test run and all #blush blush #sad panda studios #nimh #i know theres like a handful of ppl talking about blush blush on here #and i would like to join in thank you #i like nimh so much #i wanna date someone like him #ive said it 500 times and ill sayit 500 more #he's so cute

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imnotasuperhero · 4 years

Text

I’ll be waiting (for when you love me again)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Type: angsty fluff?

Summary: Natasha can’t accept the fact you decided to break up with her. Even if she understood your reasons. She knew there was much more in store for the both of you. Together.

Wordcount: 1178

A/N: @nowthisisliving27 requested for a happier continuation of this angsty fic, but like.. asking for help, @jumbojamba47 suggested I’ll be waiting by Adele and well.. this is the result. Lol. Let me know if you guys want a part 3! (:

A/N n2: Not sure this is the right ending I wanted, but after hiting a wall for so long, I decided to embrace it and share it before I deleted the whole thing. Lmao.

The last time Natasha saw you, it was one of the most painful moments she'd endured so far. The fact she had to let you go away so you could find yourself again, was paining her in indescribable ways. If she'd just paid more attention. If she'd just kept you close, showing you that she cared.

How could she be in peace, knowing she let you slip away? How could she be nice with herself, knowing that she contributed to your insecurities? Even if you reassured her over and over that it was your battle and you couldn't drag her down with you. But little did you know Natasha would go to the confines of Hell just to be with you.

She could still feel the way you felt against her. The softness of your skin under her touch. The soft sighs you'd let out whenever she ran her nails against your upper arms in those lazy days when you got to be in your bed all day. Fully clothed or naked, but together.

It's been a month since you went on a vacation, ready to rediscover yourself and eager to use the pilled up permits to skip work.

A part of her was eager to see you, to witness your happiness as you told her all the things you did and all the places you've got to visit. She wanted nothing else than to see the shine in your eyes when you talked about what you enjoyed the most, the way you'd wrinkle your nose or frown when you talked about your less favorite parts. She wanted to be the one you ranted to. But the realistic part of her made her understand that she couldn't. She didn't have the right. At least, not until you allowed her to. And there was nothing she could do other than wait. As long as it took you.

Days turned into months. The only information she had about your wellbeing was because she decided to give in and use her spy skills on you. And she'd be lying if she didn't felt like a perv, following you around like a stalker. But if you weren't giving her updates, she must get them herself.

That's how the night found her on the rooftop of the building in front of yours. The binoculars on her hands showing you on your couch, probably watching the latest episode of your favorite TV show. Her heart squeezed when she spotted her old t-shirt covering your body, increasing the hope she was feeling inside. What would she give to have you in her arms again, cuddling and just basking in each other's warmth. She knew if -when- you were to have her again, she had to be better. She had to own the pleasure of calling you hers.

After what seemed hours later, she finally plopped down under the covers. But no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she tossed and rolled in bed, sleep wouldn't visit. Her mind still running wild with ideas to make it happen. God, she was so tempted to ask Tony to fund her so she could get one of those dumb planes to get the whole New York City to know she loved you.

Making her peace with the fact that it was too late now, she quickly changed into workout clothes and headed for the gym. Hopefully, she could nap after.

"You still here?"

Bucky's voice took Natasha out of her reverie, making her stop mid-jab against the target. Looking at the gym's doors, she frowned at the super soldier walking over to her.

"I just came here," Natasha leaned her head in confusion.

"Nat, it's 10 am. JARVIS told me you've been here since dawn," he chuckled.

Looking around, she could see that in fact, the lights were off, and the sun was shining through the floor-to-ceiling windows illuminating the whole room.

"Fuck," she's been here for 5 hours.

"What's wrong?" Bucky leaned against the press, blue eyes meeting green. And Natasha knew she couldn't lie to him.

"I've been dating this person," Natasha paused licking her lips. Why was her mouth so dry so suddenly? "I- She saw us. When we were undercover." She couldn't help the questioning glaze anymore, so she moved her eyes to the blue sky outside.

"We've been together for 7 months. We- I really love her, Bucks," she looked up when she felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

"Does she knows that?"

"She does. I- Is not because we don't love each other," she sipped on her water. "I hid her," she confessed. "I hid her and I wasn't there for her and-"

"And you need to make your peace with it." Natasha could hear the laugh in his voice and she wanted to spar with him just to kick it off. "I won't pry and demand you to tell me everything. But I do ask of you to work it out. If you really love her, then don't let her go away."

Natasha mulled his words over and over, trying to come up with a plan. She needed to step her game up. You both were too good to end this way.

It wasn't until she saw you in the café -pure coincidence this time- that she finally made up her mind. She'll win you over and she'll shout at the top of her lungs that you were hers.

"Nat, hi." You smiled something painful and Natasha couldn't help the frown taking over her.

"Y/N, is nice to see you," she smiled honestly, hoping you could see it. "I-"

"You-"

You both cut each other mid-talk, laughing sheepishly.

"I'm sorry. You go first." Always the gentlewoman, Nat nodded for you to continue.

"Umm... I was wondering if you... maybe... Ugh, I'm such a mess," you laughed and Natasha couldn't help her jumping heart threatening to escape her chest.

"You might be a mess, but I wouldn't have it any other way." She high-fived herself mentally at the blushing of your cheeks. 'Smooth, dude' she smirked to herself.

"You're mean. I'm trying to be serious here," you pouted and Natasha was dying to kiss it away. But she knew better.

"I'm sorry. I'll shut up now," she mimicked zipping her lips and your laugh filled her ears, making her wish she could hear your laugh for the rest of her life.

"Anywaaays," you rolled your eyes at her antics. "I was wondering if you wanted to sit with me? If you're free, I mean."

"I am free and I'd love to share this afternoon with you," she winked at you, repressing a laugh as you grumbled under your breath. "Go pick a table and I'll be there soon," she gestured to the back of the café as she walked towards the barista.

She couldn't help the smile breaking her face at the outcome of this day. Maybe this wasn't the end, after all. And she was certain she'll make things different. This time, she'll be better for you.

----------------------------

Taglist: @marvelfansince08love @wannabe-fic-reader @natasha-danvers @rooskaya-yelena @sananabdliw @aaron-despair @username23345 @nate-the-dreamer @higherfurther-romanova

#natasha romanoff x reader #it's finally done #my writing

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vlogsquadssquad · 4 years

Text

secure

summary: Charlie puth invites David to a get together where David meets y/n and they hit it off.

a/n: a teensy weensy bit angst but im 100% making a part 2 of this with a happy ending so no worries!!!!!!!!!

warnings: language

mood board:

-- 3RD PERSON DD & CP

“hey what are your plans for Saturday?�� Charlie asked David as they finished up a bit for the vlog.

“umm, nothing really. im kind of in a fog right now. why?” David took a bite of his apple.

“well im throwing a small little kickback at my house. a few of my music friends are coming and it might get you some good connections, if you'd like.”

“dude, that's fucking sick! name drop! is Selena Gomez gonna be there?” David asked excitedly.

“no, no, Selena doesn't really do too many social events anymore. she's going through a lot...” David raised his eyebrow as Charlie looked to the ground. “but you know who will be there? y/f/n!”

“shut the fuck up dude are you serious?” Davids heart dropped at the thought of y/n at the party. he's been crushing on her for a bit, and has been dying to meet her.

“yeah, I mean she texted me she would, why are you all giddy?” Charlie punched David on the shoulder playfully, but secretly didn't want David to say he had a crush on her because truth was, so did Charlie. what's not to like? she's humble, kind, funny, easy-going, and down for anything.

“oh, uhh... no reason, just she's a pretty popular singer right now. good clickbait.” David said with nervousness in his voice. he didn't want to admit that he had a crush when he hasn't even met her.

“alright, well ill see you at the kickback then. bring some friends!” Charlie tried not to sound worried or suspicious. he’d have to keep an eye on the two.

-- YOUR POV

I really hate going to parties. but Charlie promised it would be chill and just a way to destress. ive been in a fog with my album im writing. I have great songs but I need two more and im stuck on what to write about. maybe the party will be a good thing.

-texts w - Charles 🤪 -

< should I wear something casual or ?? are we dressing nicer lol

you look great in everything! >

maybe party casual if that's a thing? >

< thought it was a kickback you ass! lol but thanks for the heads up. see you there, Charles! 😉

-end texts-

he hated when i called him Charles but i love messing with him. after careful examining of the clothes i had, i decided to go as I was. it was an easy going outfit but I still looked put together. I had no one to impress anyways.

-- 1st PERSON DD

“dude, im so nervous.” i whispered to Ilya, who knew of my crush.

“its fine man, don't be a pussy.” i took a drink of my water and grabbed my camera to film with Benny Blanco a little he always had something funny or interesting to say.

“Charles!” I heard from the living room. i didn't think anything of it and kept filming with Benny and Jeff. a little while goes by and then Benny looks over my shoulder.

“hey, y/n/n! so good to see you!” i froze. y/n went and gave benny an inviting hug and then turned to me. her eyes were easy to melt into.

“hi, good to see you, im y/n” she went in for a hug. she smelled beautiful.

“oh, hi. im David. big fan.”

“and im Jeff, wow you look so great, can I get you a drink?”

i rolled my eyes at Jeff trying to make a move. of course he's into the same girl I am.

“oh, im ok, I actually don't really like to drink.” she's so kind and gentle as she speaks.

“so how is the album coming?” benny asks her.

“its... not.” she laughs lightly but I can tell she's stressed. is it too early to tell her I already know her inside and out? am I crazy for watching all her interviews, tiktoks, and instagram stories?

“im in a fog,” she looks to the ground. how are we already so compatible? “I want two more songs but im having trouble finding a conclusion to the story im telling. maybe there isn't one, I don't know.”

“what's the story you're trying to tell?” I ask feeling very brave and comfortable already.

“basically my current dating life.” she slightly blushes. “its so hard dating and every time I start to like a guy or I know of him and I already have a crush on him, it doesn't end well. and I have these little romances I write about but they all end in either piggy behavior or ghosting.” we laughed along with her. her smile was radiating.

“maybe I can help, do you wanna go to Charlie’s studio?” Benny asks her.

“you're an angel! yes! ill repay you in food.” she laughs. as they walk out, Im watching her. she moves so flawlessly. “hey, you can come too. might get something good for the vlog.” she smiles to me. my heart is beating out of my chest. she watches my videos or at least knows of me. “cool, thank you.” I say trying to remain calm. she also pulls Charlie in and he drapes his arm around her shoulder. they're just friends.

as we get seated in the room, Benny starts asking her questions. “so, we know what message you're giving but how are you delivering it for the album? what's the feeling? want to play us a song that captures the vibe?”

“well I only have the instrumentals for the songs but I can play one live?”

“great, lets do it.” Charlie smiled to her as he handed her a mic.

“don't post this anywhere, David” she warned.

she brought warmth to my cheeks. “nope, ill only use it as blackmail.”

her laugh was such a gift. I could tell jokes all day just to hear her laugh again.

she played a beautiful song that was slow and powerful and all about heartbreak. it hurt to hear her go through that. then benny asked for another song. this one was more pop. like id hear it on the radio, but still deep.

the rest of the night was them composing songs and some stupid jokes here and there. safe to say she's the most down to earth and funny person in the room. the fans will go crazy that im here with her. im going crazy that im here with her.

-- YOUR POV

I spent the whole night in the studio with some amazing people. I found myself taking it all in and being so thankful for my life. ive known of David and watched his vlogs pretty frequently too, but being with him was a whole different experience. he gave great advice and genuinely helped me through some of my block. he gave a listeners point of view and had fresh ears. it was nice. he even offered to walk me to my car.

“I figured you'd have like a limo waiting for you outside or something.” he joked as we walked toward the street.

“nope, that's just youtubers.” I joked back.

he laughed, “ouch.”

“thank you for your input tonight.” he chuckled. “no, I really mean it. I think I know exactly how I want to end the album.” I look into his eyes as my back is pushed against my car.

“where's your mind at?” he looks back to me.

“loving myself. I know it sounds cliche, but isn't the greatest romance of all, the love you have for yourself? tonight was the most fun ive had, and it was just hanging out with friends talking about endless things.”

he nods as he takes my words in. “you're really secure with yourself. I like that. its going to be a great album.”

he leans in and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me which I don't need right now. then I see his hands go low to the handle of my car door and he opens it for me.

“oh, I can't take a hint, huh?” I joke with him.

“no, not at all. I just know you're excited to go home and write your new hit.” he says almost seriously.

“thank you” I whisper. “and also, can I get your number? id love to do something fun for the vlogs.”

-- DAVIDS POV, NEXT DAY

“il, it couldn't have gone better! she asked for my number, bro!”

“that's fucking sick. imagine you dating one of americas sweetheart, music icons.” Ilya pokes at David.

“its not a fucking joke, I really think there was something there but id really like to get to know her better.”

“who are we talking about?” Charlie asks as he enters the room. David had texted him to meet up for a bit they were doing.

“uh, no one.” im quick to reply knowing they're` great friends and I don't want any drama.

“oh ok... so what'd you think of y/n?” he asks me.

“oh she's great, yeah, I was editing some last night and I think I'll keep some parts in.”

“yeah, she's so easy to be around. I think im gonna ask her out, she's kind of the girl of my dreams, and im like 99% sure she's in love with me too.” he says almost marking his territory.

I look to Ilya and he just half smiles. “oh, that's great man. yeah you should ask her out if you're in love with her. she's a great catch.” my chest falls as I say it aloud. I really thought she liked me.

part 2

#davids vlogs #david dobrik #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik x reader #David dobrik fanfic #David dobrik imagines #vlog squad #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad fan fiction #Charlie puth #Charlie puth fanfic #Charlie puth imagine #Charlie puth fan fiction

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