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hywenhywen · 1 year

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melted ice cream - hanni pham

synopsis - hanni and y/n had always loved ice cream. but hanni had a bad habit of not finishing her ice cream, so it melted often. ice cream melts quickly, but life melts quicker.

warnings - vivid mentions of death, descriptions of blood, they're so in love it hurts, happy endings aren't real

wc - 2.05k

“hanni pham! what are you doing?” y/n yelled loudly.

“i’m looking at the ants.” hanni said, pointing at the insects walking on the sidewalk. “they're carrying pieces of chips.”

“why waste your time on bugs when you could look at me?” y/n said, posing oddly.

“don't pose like that. you look like a nerd.” hanni mumbled, standing up properly.

“well you like this nerd.” the girl said, smirking strangely.

“shut up.” the vietnamese girl said. “or i’ll stop liking you.”

“no~ hanni pham i need your love to live!” y/n said, exaggeratedly falling to her knees. “what am i to do without the love of such a fair maiden?!”

“you're such a nerd.” hanni said. “let's go get ice cream.”

“whatever you say fine maiden.” y/n said, standing up and grabbing hanni’s hand.

they walked in silence until hanni spoke up, “would you love me if i was an ant?”

“an ant?” y/n asked, hanni nodded. “i think i would.”

“you think?” hanni asked, looking at the other girl.

“yeah, wouldn't it be a bit odd if i fell in love with an ant?” y/n asked. “but if the ant was you, i wouldn't really mind.”

“the life of an ant must be interesting.” hanni said, looking down at the sidewalk. “everything would be so big.”

“isn't it already big for you though?” y/n asked, slouching to reach the shorter girl’s height.

with a swift movement y/n felt sudden pain in her leg. “ouch!” y/n said while stopping to check her leg. “at least it wasn't my ankles.”

“i’ll get your ankles next time then.” hanni joked.

although there was no next time.

“sorry for kicking you.” hanni apologized.

“it's fine, i've been kicked multiple times.” the taller of the two said. “what ice cream flavor do you want?”

“i don't know, you should choose one for me.” hanni said. “as long as it's not pistachio.”

“dang, i was gonna choose that one for you.” y/n exclaimed. “how about… coffee?”

“coffee flavored ice cream..?” hanni asked.

“yeah, i've tried it before and i liked it.” y/n said. “although i do have a weird taste in ice cream.”

“i’ll try it.” hanni accepted the suggestion. “but, if i don't like it we switch.”

“deal.” y/n said, pointing her pinky at hanni.

“a pinky promise?” hanni asked, staring at y/n’s finger weirdly.

“yeah, i never back out of pinky promises.” y/n said while grinning from ear to ear.

the two girls made a pinky promise and continued to walk towards the ice cream parlor that was down the road. they joked and brought up questionable moments of their lives as they walked.

“we're here, after you.” y/n said, opening the door for hanni.

“thank you.” hanni walked into the ice cream parlor, quickly being met by cold air. “it's cold in here.”

“well of course it is, it's an ice cream shop.” y/n said, quickly removing her jacket and placing it over hanni’s shoulders. “sorry if it's a bit big. i like my jackets bigger.”

“aren't you going to get cold?” hanni asked.

“nope, give me a second.” y/n rushed off behind the counter. a few seconds later she came back, holding another jacket. “i left mine yesterday.”

“oh, wait- how’d you just walk behind the counter so naturally?” hanni asked.

“i work here during the summer, when you go to australia.” y/n replied, hastily putting on the jacket.

“oh, i guess that makes sense.” hanni said.

“i’m gonna go order the ice cream.” y/n said, smiling warmly at the shorter girl.

hanni just watched as y/n walked off to order the ice cream. she could hear brief mentions of ice cream and part time jobs, then suddenly y/n pointed at her and started smiling like an idiot. hanni assumed she had mentioned an embarrassing moment or something similar. y/n started walking back to hanni.

“i placed the order, it should be out in a few minutes.”

“why minutes?” hanni asked.

“i asked for something special.” y/n said, which made hanni raise a brow.

“something… special?” hanni asked.

“yep, i think you'll like it.” y/n said, rocking back and forth on her heels.

true to her word, a worker called her name and placed two cups on the counter. on the counter sat two cups of messily shaped coffee and strawberry ice cream. y/n quickly retrieved the cups and made her way back to hanni.

“let's sit over here.” y/n said, pointing at a vacant table by the window.

hanni nodded and followed the girl to the isolated table. the girls sat down and y/n placed the cups down.

“before you dig in, you should be careful.” y/n said. “i wouldn't want you to choke.”

“what?” hanni asked, completely in shock.

“enjoy!” y/n picked up a spoonful of strawberry ice cream and ate it. “so good!” the girl cooed.

hanni picked up her spoon and also took a bite. she cautiously continued eating her ice cream. then suddenly the taste of metal made itself present. hanni quickly grabbed a napkin and spit the metallic object out. upon attempting to crumple the napkin, hanni felt a certain circular feeling. she hastily opened the napkin. in the napkin was ring, with her initials engraved on it.

“y/n…” hanni mumbled, looking up at the girl.

“it's not much, but i want it to be a way for you to know how much you mean to me.” y/n said.

“i love it.” hanni said, tears slowly appearing. “thank you.”

“no, i should be the one saying thank you. although we aren't dating yet, i want to take this moment to ask you a very important question.” y/n slowly stood up, making her way in front of hanni. when she stood right in front of the girl, she got down in one knee.

“hanni pham, after multiple months of courting you, and very awkward conversations with our parents, i want to ask you, will you be my girlfriend?” y/n asked.

“yes.” hanni mumbled into her hands. “even if i was an ant i'd say yes.”

y/n took the chance and hugged hanni tightly and helped her put on the ring. “it's a promise ring. i promise to always be by your side. even after we get married and when we get old.”

that was a lie.

suddenly the parlor erupted in cheers. the workers had been filming the whole moment. people were clapping and whistling. people then began congratulating the new young couple.

“it feels like you just proposed.” hanni chuckled.

“i kind of did.” y/n said, still hugging the girl and not showing signs of wanting to let go.

“we should eat our ice cream, it's going to melt.” hanni said, turning to face the ice cream.

“did you like the coffee flavor?” y/n asked.

“i did.” hanni said.

“let's go to the park. we can eat ice cream there.” y/n suggested.

“sounds like a good idea.” hanni said, grabbing her cup and making her way to the door.

y/n followed suit and quickly caught up with the australian girl. they both walked out of the door before y/n realized she had left her keys behind.

“i’ll be back, i need to get my keys.” she said, placing a chaste kiss on hanni’s cheek.

“i’ll wait for you on that bench.” hanni said while pointing to a nearby bench.

“ok! i’ll be back quickly.” y/n said, running off.

just as the girl was about to check both sides of the road, a crash was heard. hanni turned quickly at the loud noise. horror quickly painted the girl’s face. the adrenaline took over her as she began sprinting towards y/n.

blood quickly rushed out of the girl's head. the crimson colored liquid stained the once clean grey jacket the girl wore.

a worker at the ice cream parlor rushed out after witnessing the tragic event. quickly notifying the EMS of the accident, the worked rushed to the girl.

by the time hanni reached the poor girl it was evident she wouldn't survive. y/n remained still, laying in a pool of her own blood. hanni quickly grabbed the girl and pulled her close.

“y/n wake up, please wake up.” hanni wailed. “wake up, the promise, you said you'd be with me forever. just hold on, they're going to help you.”

hanni rocked the taller girl back and forth, patting her head calmly. “you'll be ok, you're gonna survive.” tears continuously streamed from her eyes.

she couldn't save y/n. she knew y/n was going to die. so why did she try so hard to hold onto her?

an ambulance arrived and made their way quickly to the injured girl.

“miss, you need to let go.” an EMS worked said, attempting to pry hanni off of her girlfriend. “we can try to save her, but you need to let go.”

hanni quickly released the girl from her embrace. “please save her.” hanni pleaded.

“we’ll do everything we can, do you know her parents’ information?” the EMS worker asked.

“i do.” hanni replied, sniffling.

“could you call them and inform them while we take her to the hospital?” the EMS worked asked.

“y-yes, i can.” hanni quickly called y/n’s mom. “mrs l/n, y/n got in an accident. please go to the hospital.”

as soon as hanni said those words the phone fell from y/n’s mom’s hands. them EMS worked helped hanni into the van with y/n, who was barely holding onto dear life.

the workers murmured to themselves, they were all sure the girl wouldn't make the trip. after ten minutes of driving, y/n’s heart beat dropped rapidly. they were just a minute away from the hospital.

hanni held onto the girl’s hand. “please wake up.” she pleaded.

when they arrived to the hospital they rushed y/n into the ICU. hanni had to stay behind. y/n’s mom also had to wait outside. both were crying heavily.

not even ten minutes had passed before a doctor came out.

“doctor, is she ok?” y/n’s mom asked.

hanni quickly wiped her tears and walked behind mrs l/n.

“i’m so sorry for your loss.” the doctor said.

at that moment both mrs l/n and hanni started to sob violently.

“there wasn't much we could do. she had lost far too much blood.” the doctor explained. “she had this in her hand.”

the doctor took out a small white envelope, it's corners were bent and covered in blood. “to my hanni ♡” was written in the front.

“i assume this is for you.” the doctor placed the envelope in the girl's hands.

hanni shakily opened the envelope. a polaroid and a letter were inside. the polaroid was from a long time ago, it was taken the first summer y/n and hanni had spent together. the letter was a page long. hanni carefully removed the letter from the envelope.

" to my hanni,

if you're reading this it means we're finally dating. i’m writing this two weeks before i ask you out. i hope you liked it. i feel like we’ll make it far together. i've only dated one person before you but i've never felt this way about someone else. i want to date you with marriage in mind. i want to be able to wake up to your beautiful face and messy hair. i want to be your rock, your everything. we could have a dog, or maybe a cat, that's up to you. i just wanted to let you know that you're the best that's ever happened to me. i’ll never leave your side. please remember that i love you hanni pham, i always have and i always will.

sincerely, y/n. "

if it was even possible, hanni began to cry even harder.

“hanni, let's go home. your mom is going to worry.” mrs l/n said.

“can we stop by the ice cream shop first?” hanni asked.

“of course we can.” mrs l/n replied.

the car ride to the parlor was silent and tense. no one dared to say a word. as they began pulling up to the shop, hanni quickly unbuckled herself and ran to the bench she was sitting on earlier.

y/n’s ice cream had melted.

" p.s. i know you too well hanni pham, don't waste good ice cream! "

and hanni’s ice cream began to melt in that moment.

notes — this took me two hours to write (i started at 12am) please ignore the shitty grammar and punctuation! i was supposed to post this later but i'm too impatient for that🤗

#📰 fics #hanni x reader #hanni #hanni newjeans #newjeans

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ramspatula · 1 month

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IRON SPIDER | Tony Stark Daughter! Reader (Part 2)

Previous part

(Y/n) (L/n)

That's what I had to be called there. (Y/n) (L/n). Miss (L/n). I felt like a part of me was taken away.

"I can just stay home right? I don't have to go." I asked my Dad, the field trip slip in front of us both on the table.

"I don't see why not. If you don't wanna go, you don't wanna go. You've seen and have better equipment than anything there." Dad argued and I nodded, agreeing with him but Pepper shook her head.

"No, I think she should go! It's good to have some school enrichment and this is the whole reason we sent her to school! So she actually socialises with people her own age and has some normal experiences!" Pepper argued and Dad raised a finger.

"First of all- you sent her to school -I wanted her to stay home. Second, she has friends now! She goes to school, Monday-Friday, isn't that enough socialising?" Dad argued back and I stood up to put my plate into the sink.

"I'd argue that it's more than enough socialising." I said and Dad nodded.

"It says that it's part of your lessons!" Pepper added and I frowned.

"I didn't go on "the field trip" the first time round! I did this whole course about 2 years ago when I was still being homeschooled by JARVIS!" I told them both and Pepper gave me a look.

"You're going." She said and I frowned before raising a finger but my dad beat me to it.

"Hold on. You're not the one that has to forge the signature of Mr (L/n)!" One look from Pepper made him look away from both of us. "You're going."

"You're such a suck up!"

"You'll be one when I ground you for that."

"Does that mean I won't be able to go then?"

"(Y/n)..."

"Switched teams faster than-"

"Stop- before you make me sound like my Dad. Just go tinker or something and don't forget to take this in the morning." He told me and I groaned.

★・・・・・・★

Early May, 2015

"(Y/n)! You made it!" Liz exclaimed and I smiled, letting her hug me.

"Yeah, Stepmom changed my dad's mind." I told her and she smiled.

"Well, I'm glad! It means I don't have to go on this trip without my bestfriend! Im gonna need you to explain everything to me!" She exclaimed and I smiled.

"What did you pack for lunch?" Liz asked me as soon as we got on the bus. First of all- bus. I saw Happy's car sat outside the school gates ready to follow me for the whole of today.

"Er- my lunchbox broke ages ago so I'm just- I'm just gonna buy something when I'm there." I made up. You had to bring your own lunch?!

"Did you not know you had to bring your own lunch?" Liz joked and I smiled back.

"I didn't read the letter- I didn't even know it existed until I pulled it out from the bottom of my bag last night. I think it was about to start growing mould-" she cut me off with her laughing and playfully shoved me.

"If there's no food there you can always share mine if you want." She offered and I genuinely smiled.

"Thanks." I nodded and watched as she put her head phones on with me copying her soon after.

The song I was listening to almost had me in a trance when I almost jumped out of my skin because of JARVIS randomly in my ear.

"You're approaching the sciencenter 160, please remember that I'm still accessible and security measures are still in place. You are safe, Miss Stark." I sighed in relief and didn't reply but I looked out to see Happy's car following right to the side of the bus. I decided to look away from the window and to the inside of the bus to see a boy in my class called Peter staring at me. He went wide eyed and quickly looked away. I looked back to the window with the song still on full blast in my ears.

★・・・・・・★

"I hope you don't mind bugs! Because there's a lot of them here!" I shivered at the thought and noticed I wasn't the only one so uncomfortable in my own skin right now. I felt like something was crawling on me already.

"Feel free to have your own look!" I heard the tour guide tell us and immediately we were all splitting up around the room.

"(Y/n)! We're going to look at these tarantulas, wanna come?" Liz asked.

"As exciting as that sounds- I'm gonna pass. I'm just going to have my own look for a moment- I'll meet up with you guys at lunch!" I told them and walked off to the furthest table where Happy was wearing a face mask and sunglasses to disguise himself as regular security. No one was around so I felt more comfortable.

"I've never been a big fan of bugs- actually is there something crawling on me right now because I feel infested." I told him and he chuckled.

"You're fine. It's just some bugs and they're contained."

"Don't invalidate my fears. It makes me feel like you don't care about me." I told him and he sighed.

"I'm not having this argument again. I've had it with you father, I've had it with you, I'm not having it again. This is the 5th time now, (Y/n). I wouldn't still be working for you if I didn't care." He told me and I raised my hands up in surrender.

"Wouldn't kill you to show it once in a while, happs." I told him, staring at a centipede.

"You might want these." He told me and handed me a pair of glasses that I originally thought were prototypes. I looked at him in surprise and he lifted his sunglasses up to wink and and pointed them at him and nodded.

"You're good."

"I've known you since the first day your father held you. Don't test me when it comes to knowing you Starks." He told me and I nodded putting the glasses on.

"Jarvis?" ......

"Hello Miss."

"Yay!" I cheered quietly. "Okay, talk to me. Tell me what everything is. Occupy me so I don't get too bored." I told him.

"Of course." He replied and I smiled again.

"It's like being at home!" I said quietly to myself.

★・・・・・・★

"If you go through this door, I believe you will find a more interesting exhibit." Jarvis told me and I walked in to see a bunch of old square TVs that were playing old insect documentaries and movies. Multiple facts about different bugs were being told me by multiple people and narrators.

"Even Howard Stark said spiders were-"

"Hey-" I jumped out my skin to turn around and see Peter.

"Oh my god- you scared the shit out of me. Hey." I told him and he looked at me like he'd realised he don't something horrible to me.

"Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-" He was a little scrawny kid that was only a bit taller than me who I raised a hand to in order to get him to stop talking.

"Don't worry about it..." I told him and looked back the screen with my grandfather on who was holding a tarantula. I cringed and Peter looked at the same screen as me.

"He was an amazing mind- I mean he died before I was born but.... I don't really like bugs that much." He rambled and stumbled through his words and I genuinely laughed, softly but it did get a laugh out of me.

"It's okay, Pete. I don't really like bugs either."

"Pete?"

"Oh... do you not like being called that?" I asked and he shook his head.

"No, I'm okay with being called it- I just- I- no one's really gave me that nickname before." He told me and I raised my eyebrows.

"Do you want me to just call you Peter?" I asked and he shook his head again.

"No! You can call me whatever you want- I mean I think this is the first time I've actually spoke to you- I just- Uhm- I just thought you'd call me penis Parker or something like that." He told me and I almost frowned.

"Who calls you Penis Parker?!" I almost laughed. Penis Parker! "Who made that one up then?" I shook my head and a genuine smile came into his face.

"Flash but it's been picked up quite quickly."

"I must be out the loop then- ow!" I hissed as I felt a prick and looked down to see a big-ish spider on my hand. My eyes widened and I gasped starting to freak out. "Oh my god!" I said quickly.

"Oh!" Peter quickly gasped looking at it,

"Get it off! Get it off!" I quickly pleased shaking my hand and Peter without thinking picked it up by the leg and then tried to shake it off to which I landed on the floor and I quickly stamped on it, repeatedly before kicking it under the table.

"I'm burning these shoes!" I said, disgustedly.

"What if that spider was important!" Peter quickly gasped out and I tilted my head.

"Well it's not anymore. We should probably go- that thing bit me!" I told him and he looked at my hand quickly, I missed how he hid his hand from me and his wide eyes somehow became wider.

"It's just a spider-" he began to ramble again and I chuckled walking past him and gesturing him to follow me out to which he did.

★・・・・・・★

"Oh shit..." I said looking at the canteen and noticing the cafeteria was shut. Peter looked at me concerned.

"What's wrong?" He asked and I sighed.

"Nothing I just realised I have no lunch now. It's fine, I'll just get something later." I told him and almost went to walk off.

"You can share mine if you want? I ordered the bigger one today by accident and I didn't want to tell them I was wrong so we can split it if you want." Peter told me and I smiled but shook my head.

"Don't worry Pete. I'll just pick something up when I get home." I told him and he smiled.

"If you want any, just ask." He told me. I noticed that we were some of the first few in the cafeteria so I sat down with him.

"Who are you waiting for?" I asked Peter as he brought his sandwich out his bag.

"Ned! Ned Leeds- he's kind of my best friend... only friend." Peter told me and I smiled.

"I get it. Liz is like my best friend. I didn't have many friends before I came here." I told him and he nodded.

"Where are you from?" He asked, sand which stuffed in his mouth and I smiled.

"Miami." I told him and he went wide eyed.

"Miami?!" He repeated and I smiled.

"Miami.... It was a big move but we were kind of going to and from anyway." I lied and he nodded.

"Where do you live now?- Not in a creepy way!" I chuckled a bit at his franticness.

"Manhattan... I have an apartment in one of the towers." I said and he nodded.

"Like the Avengers' Tower?!" He said shocked like he had just discovered something and I laughed.

"Yes because I'm obviously (Y/n) Stark." I told him and he smiled in amusement.

"Nice try... I live in Queens. I have an apartment too." He told me and I smiled, it went silent after that.

"Want a bite?" Peter asked and I looked at him quizzically before nodding.

"Okay..." He gestured to the other half and I tried a bite. It was surprisingly good. "Oh wow... that's actually better than I was expecting." I told him and he smiled. Cheeks full of food.

"Delamar's! Best sandwiches in Queens!" He said, enthusiastically and I chuckled.

"I can see that now." I told him and saw Liz and that walking in. "My friends have just come in- I'm gonna go join them but it's been nice to talk to you, Pete." I told him and went to walk away.

"Hey!- Do you want the rest of my sandwich?! I'm not that hungry- honestly!" He offered.

"Are you sure? I'll just get myself something on my way home." I told him and he nodded.

"Take it! I mean- if you want to of course!" He told me and I smiled.

"Thanks, Pete. I'll see you after the break." I said, taking the half I had bit into and walked away.

★・・・・・・★

"Hey princess, how was the- the science place?" Dad asked and I made a face.

"Full of bugs! A spider even bit me and I had no lunch because I didn't pack one and there was nowhere to buy anything from. I'm lucky someone offered me half of their sandwich they didn't want." I ranted straight away, dumping my bag and kicking my shoes off- not literally because I always kept them in this one place. "I didn't even wanna go in the first place." I told him and I didn't look at him but I could feel his guilty expression staring at me.

"I'm sorry, honey. I never would've signed if I knew it would've been so bad for you." Dad told me and I pulled open the fridge to get a drink and a snack because all I had ate from 7am-6pm was half a sandwich.

"Yeah well, Pepper told you to do it so you obviously folded." I snapped before storming off to my room.

"Oh come on, honey, don't do this to me. Y'know you come first- Hey! Don't slam your door! You know how this goes from me being calm to you getting grounded when that happens!" He told me and I groaned before shutting my door normally and then shoving it hard when it got to the latch. Not enough to slam but enough to get my way.

★・・・・・・★

Tony sighed and closed his eyes before tilting his head up. He hadn't moved from where he was on the couch but he knew he had to soon.

"Miss Stark is quite upset. I have asked her if she'd like me to call you in and she said no but my protocols override this request." Jarvis announced to Tony who didn't open his eyes.

"Is she crying?" He asked, simply.

"Yes."

Tony stood up and and made his way to his daughter's room. Opening the door to see her laying down on her bed and facing away from the door. Tony sat down on the end of the bed near her head as she stopped her crying and refused to look at him.

"You all good?" He asked her and she nodded.

"Yeah." She said in a small voice.

"Really? Because this doesn't look all good to me." He told her and she shook her head this time letting more tears flow out. Tony just moved her closer and in turn she placed her head on the side of his lap and his hands began to run through her hair.

"It's not been your day, huh? Been there. Except mine was to do with this expo in 1998-" Tony started and (Y/n) chuckled a little. "- I mean she everywhere! I didn't know what she was saying or showing me-" He continued and (Y/n) leaned up to actually look at him. "All good?" He asked and she nodded.

"All good." She repeated and he brought her in for a hug.

"What's really bothering you?" He asked and she leaned into him. Staying quiet for a moment. "I know you're not just upset because you didn't have any food." He told her and she stayed still.

"I- I don't know. I guess I just feel out of place. I'm too young to blend in with all of you at home and I'm not used to anything at school. Y'know how embarrassing it is to not understand that you have to wait in line at a shop for the register? I do. It's very!" She vented and Tony sighed before making her move to siting up so he could actually hug her.

"I don't know what to tell you. You don't experience anything a normal kid would and you never have. You've been walking red carpets since you learned to walk and been kept at home for all your life. Y'know I'm realising that I just said I don't know what to tell you and I just told you something- anyway I'm saying it's my fault. It's my error. I should've done more to stop this from happening. I probably should've sent you to school earlier as well. Looking back there's a lot I could've done." Tony rambled a little and (Y/n) tried drying the rest of her tears with her sleeve.

"I'm scared as well." She added and he frowned.

"Of what?"

"You getting called to go be IronMan and you not coming back. I have this fear when I go to school that it will happen." She told him and he held her a bit tighter.

"That's what you said after New York too. Then it got worse after Miami where you couldn't sleep or be in a different room to me. Honey, you had to go to school in order to help with that. Can't live with this separation anxiety forever because it will eat you up and I can't be here forever so you've got to learn how to live without me too." Tony told her and she shook her head.

"I don't want to." She stubbornly said and Tony chuckled.

"I didn't want to know how to live without my parents either." He admitted before looking at her and she looked at him confused. "Listen, kid. Heres what we're gonna do. You're not going to focus on that. We're gonna go downstairs- get in the car, get food, get ice cream and then we're gonna put Lilo and Stitch on and whoever can remember the most lines gets to choose the next movie night. Deal?" He asked and held his hand out for her to shake. She shook it and nodded.

"Deal."

"Good. No more tears. I'm serious!" He 'reprimanded' jokingly and she laughed following him out her room.

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boygiwrites · 6 months

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Harley D. Dixon 25

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📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

As always, enjoy reading :) And uuuh prepare yourself.

"There you guys are."

Dale says this because he's been waiting for us. He pushes himself off the crumbled fireplace, anxiously gripping the strap of his rifle like he always does, like he's glued it there and hasn't bothered removing it. He always looks nervous and angry at the same time.

"Whatchu all the way over here for?" Dad asks, setting his crossbow down by his chair. "Couldn't wait for visitin' hours?"

"Listen, I'm going to be frank here." He mutters, his bushy white brows disappearing under the brim of his fisherman's hat. The adults have always muttered when they don't want the kids listening in on them, but now it's actually working, and I don't like that, so I make a point of sitting on the lip of the cobblestones nearby. I pretend to take off my boots and pour the dirt out, even though they're already empty. "If we don't do something, come dusk," He says in a very important way, "Jim will be dead."

"Ain't that kinda the point?" He deadpans.

Dale hates that response. He scoffs. "No. You're a smart man, Daryl. You can see why this is crazy."

I don't know what he thinks he's doin', tryna convince my Dad to call off the execution. I guess it didn't go over so well with Rick.

"Can I?" He drawls, entirely unconvinced. "Ain't nun' crazy 'bout squashing a bug."

"We're not talking about a bug." He argues. "We're talking about a human being. A human being that's made mistakes, yes, but haven't we all? I mean, how many times have you said something somebody didn't like? That isn't a crime. Certainly doesn't warrant the death penalty."

"Man, save it. You getcher'self in the mix with my daughter in a way I'on like, you get what's comin' to ya. That's just how it is."

"And I— I can appreciate that. You're a family man. You love your daughter. You love Harley and you want to protect her," He reasons, and as he says this, I think, pshh, what does this have to do with anything, which is what Dad must be thinking, too, 'cause he rolls his eyes a bit. "But don't you love her enough to want her growing up in a world that doesn't punish so harshly? Hasn't she seen enough death?"

Sure I have. But like all things we once thought were impossible, it's now just a matter of, what's one more? What's one more dead man in the ground? Jim's death will be a different type of killing, sure, but they're all just bodies in the end. We've done this before.

"Watch yourself." Dad's look turns sharp at that. "Don't tell me what I already know."

"I'm just trying to—"

"Look." He cuts him off. "I know what's best for my daughter. The world I want her growin' up in is one that ain't made'a fairytales. People gotta die, Dale. Already have. And they ain't gonna stop just 'cause one man pulls out his thesaurus and starts cryin' about it. Lil' Jimmy, he's a threat to the group. He's a threat to my lil' girl, and it don't get any more black and white than that for me."

"But does that mean he has to die?"

"It means this conversation's over." He throws a hand up, turns away. "I ain't y'all's Momma. Go talk to Rick about it s'more if ya wanna."

"I already have." He calls after him uselessly, before sighing and giving up altogether. He seems to remember that I'm here too, and sends me a small smile. "Sorry, Harley," He says, "Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up with you here."

"Naw, it's alright." I shrug, joking, "I been through worse before."

That makes him chuckle, despite himself. "You have, have you?"

"But can I tell you sum'?"

He pauses, frowns. "'Course you can."

"Just stop." I say very plainly, in a way I hope he understands. "Just stop. It ain't worth it."

Ain't you just a little pot of wisdom, as Merle liked to say, whenever I told him he shouldn't sniff that white powder so often, or to try lookin' at the sky when he got too angry. Smarty-pants, is what Dad preferred to say. I got a bad habit of tellin' people what to do, sometimes, but it ain't that I'm wise or smart or want a damn medal, do ya. I just don't want Dale doin' what I did, tryna fight things ya can't fight, like with Sophia and Shane. In a way, I guess Jim's right. Ya can't fight death. It's just one of them things ya can't put a knife in.

I know Dale's tryna do good. That's what he is. A do-gooder. That's what Dad used to call the people at church. Always fightin' the good fight. With words and bibles and morals. But that ain't how things work now. I know Dale wishes it was, but it ain't.

From the look on Dale's face, it seems that just by saying this, I've as good as killed Jim myself.

"But-But, honey," He stammers. "How can you say that?"

"'Cause," I wiggle my boot on and stand. "People just gotta die, sometimes."

His lip curls. "Your Dad been teaching you that?"

"Yeah." I don't know why he says that like it's a bad thing. "People die, people mourn, life moves on. That's what he says."

"I don't want to argue with you on this." He shakes his head, hiding irritation. "You're too young to know what you're talking about."

He's like Lori. He wants to live like it was before, back when we had homework and couldn't say fuck, or shit, or fuck-shit. Back when we had courtrooms and judges and churches that were standing. 'Cause back then, Jim wouldn't be killed.

He blanches a little, before calling out to Dad, "You need to re-think what it is you're teaching your daughter."

As he huffs and walks away, Dad sends me a confused look.

"Nothin'." I sigh dismissively, heading over to join him by the dead fire pit, where he's knifed open a tin of baked beans. I stand in between his knees and he spoons some out and feeds them to me. "I jush argued with him a lil', 'das all."

"I ain't tell you to do that." He jokes, wiping sauce from my chin with the spoon.

I garble around my mouthful, "Well, I did tell him Jim's gotta die. Ya did say 'dat."

"Guess I did... But don't worry 'bout old Dale. He's a—"

"—He's a do-gooder." We say at the same time.

He scoffs amusedly. "Yeah. Exactly."

I swallow and open my mouth for the next spoonful, which I munch on with a smile. "How 'bout that deer just now, huh?"

"Pretty cool." He agrees absentmindedly, giving me a small smile back. Only once I open my mouth again does he tell me, "Listen, baby." I snap it shut once I realize he's not going to lift the spoon. For a terrible second, I think he knows about the shed. It's nonsense, of course. Andrea promised she wouldn't snitch, but the thought's still stuck to the back of my head. "About them things I said last night..."

Oh. Right. I don't say anything. I just stand and listen. I gotta get better at that.

"About your Momma givin' up," He struggles to say. "Weren't right'a me. Things are tough right now, but... weren't right'a me."

"It's alright, Dad." I tell him. Not a lot is alright these days, but we are. I forgive him. "You was right, anyway."

My Momma did give up. Whether I like how it sounds or not, that's what suicide means, and my Momma gave up. She gave up on me and Daddy, gave up on fighting, and she gave up on life, too, in the end. Like the rest, she was weak. Like Sophia. Like me.

"C'mere." He sets the tin aside and pulls me onto his lap, cradling my head under his chin. "Don't matter who was right. I love you."

"I love you, too, Dad."

Two I love you's in the same day. What on Earth is goin' on? You'd think the apocalypse had started or somethin'.

He pulls back, holding my face in his big, grimy hands. "I wantchu to stay wit' the women when we kill Jim tonight."

I suck in a breath, asking, "How you gonna do it?"

"I'on know yet." He admits as he smooths down my baby hairs, swipes some dirt from my cheek. "But you don't need t'see it. I know that."

I give a nod. I wish I could see, but that would never be allowed. "Okay."

"Okay." He repeats, kissing my temple. "Good girl."

As I finish off the rest of the beans, I gaze out over Dad's shoulder, watching Dale's tiny figure wander over to the other side of the farm, off to go try convince the next person he comes across that this is all a terrible idea. Off to fight the good fight, which no one's ever won.

The best part of my day is when Maggie slaps Andrea across the face.

It's not that I hate Andrea or anythin' like that, unlike some other people around here, but it's just kinda funny. As I walk up to the house, she holds her reddened cheek with her mouth agape in shock, while Maggie stands over her, totally fuming. I like her even more now.

"Stay away from her." She scolds her hotly. "From both of us. Don't you dare step foot inside this house again."

After struggling to find something to say, she wordlessly turns and hurries away.

"What's goin' on?" I call up to Maggie and Lori, who are standing on the porch.

"Nothing, sweetie." Lori assures me, but she seems heated. She moves to the side to let Maggie storm inside, and follows her in after.

I find Carl past the patch of tall trees by the house, past the overgrown fence and sitting in the seat of an abandoned tractor, fiddling with his hat in his lap. I'm still a little angry with him. For trying to control me like I'm his pet dog, and treating me like I'm some sort of practice run for his little sister or brother. But that don't mean I can't talk to him. I climb one of the big tyres, crossing my arms over the rusty hood.

He glances at me but decides not to say anything.

"Did you tell Maggie about the knife?"

"Yeah." He admits, not surprising me in the slightest. I don't see why else Andrea would be on Maggie's bad side. "What do you care?"

I frown in confusion. "Huh? I don't. I was just asking."

"Oh." He puts his hat on and looks at me. "I thought you came over here to argue some more."

"Nah." I shrug one shoulder, tracing my finger along the cracked ridges of the old, red metal. "Don't wanna."

Gazing out onto the barn, I see Rick through the open doors, pacing the dirt floor and looking up at the rafters with some rope in his hands. I make out a loop on the end of it, and then I realize it's not a rope, it's a noose. He's looking for a place to hang Jim.

"That's how they're gonna do it." I murmur to myself. "They is gonna hang him after all."

"Gunshot would attract the horde." Carl supposes.

Rick takes hold of a wooden banister, pushes on it, checks its sturdiness.

"True. I ain't thought of that."

"He told me we're gonna be sleeping in the house, soon. Because Winter's coming, and all."

That's a funny thought. Feels like just yesterday Rick was begging Herschel to let us stay, and now we're facing Winter together.

"Guess it's good Jim's dyin' now, then," I muse, "So he don't gotta freeze to death instead."

After a couple more minutes, Rick stops pushing on banisters and attaches the noose to the spot he's chosen. I guess that's it, then.

"It's almost time." Lori says to Rick as the sun begins to set, like a ball of orange sand in a glass timer. "I know this isn't easy for you."

She doesn't know that, but she likes saying it, anyway, because she wants to believe it and it sounds nice. But I think we all know that Rick is a little beyond caring about ending a person's life for the good of the group. He might not love it, but it's like Dad says. There's only two options, and when push comes to shove choosing the best one, the one that keeps us safe, things become pretty damn easy.

He nods, knuckles going white as he grips the porch railing. I guess he doesn't have the guts to tell her she's wrong.

Inside, the group are gathering to have what Dale calls a discussion. It's his last-ditch attempt at stopping the execution, and Rick's not happy about it, but he's willing to hear him out. It's pretty obvious we're all just stalling the inevitable, though.

"You don't have to be the one to do it." Lori continues after he's said nothing.

On the deck chair beside me, Dad sits with his elbows on his knees, his fingers interlocked, wriggling. He offers gruffly, "I can do it."

"No." Rick shakes his head. "It has to be me. Bringing him back was my decision. Makes this is my responsibility."

I wonder how you even kill someone using a noose. I guess what they're debating is who's gonna kick the stool Jim stands on.

Dad doesn't argue back. The only person he really wanted to kill was Shane, and he did that. This one goes to Rick.

The door swings open.

Maggie pokes her head out. "Everyone's ready."

Rick takes a deep breath, gives one last look to Lori, and heads inside.

"C'mon." Lori takes Carl's shoulder and guides him to sit in Dad's chair. "I want you to stay out here with Jimmy and Harley."

"But, Mom," He argues, "I wanna listen."

"Uh-uh. Not this time, baby."

Just as Lori goes inside and Dad is about to follow her in, Carl blurts out, "Daryl, wait."

He pauses in the doorway. Confusion pinches his features. I go still, glance at Carl side-long, hold my breath. There's no way he's doing what I think he is. Why else would he stop my Dad? Please, no. Just say something stupid and useless and let him go inside.

In a moment that makes me want to put my hands around his neck, Carl says exactly what I didn't want him to.

"Harley snuck into the shed and talked to Jim."

I bite down a thousand curses. Carl Grimes, that little snitch. I cannot believe he told on me. Not even Andrea did.

Dad's face contorts into a look of rage, pinning me in place, making my heart race until it's punching against my sternum like a fist. Now I'm realizing just how much of an idiot I was for breaking the rules. All Dad wants is for me to be safe. He's gotta look out for dangers like Jim, but I'm becoming a danger to myself, now, too, 'cause I'm an idiot and I went in that shed like an idiot and spoke to Jim like an idiot.

He grabs the door handle like he's tryna crush it between his fingers and slams the door shut behind him.

The windows rattle behind me and Carl.

I let out a breath, but I'm not relieved for long. I'm suddenly almost as angry as Dad was. I turn to Carl, fixing him with a scathing glare.

"Why in Satan's hot Hell," I grind through my teeth, "Did ya do that for?"

He looks all pleased with himself. "Because I'm responsible."

If I weren't already in deep trouble, and if Jimmy wasn't out here to witness it, I would slap Carl so hard his baby teeth and his adult teeth would fall out his skull. I didn't snitch on him when he wanted to sneak into the woods. In fact, I helped that jerk.

"You know, I'm about sick'a you." I tell him, because it makes me feel better. "You been buggin' me so bad today."

"I've been bugging you?" He exclaims incredulously.

"Ya heard me. First ya tell Carol her dead daughter ain't in heaven, then you start actin' like I'm a baby, and now ya snitch on—"

"Well, you are a baby!" He shocks me into silence with that. "You're a baby, Harley. You might know what a chantrelle mushroom is, and you might shoot better than me, but you're still just a stupid baby, and I'm right for looking out for you. You can't do it yourself!"

Jimmy awkwardly wonders further down the porch, pretending he doesn't hear our argument.

"Well, I hope your baby sister or brother hates your damn guts," I snarl, "'Cause I sure do."

"I'm just trying to set a good example like Dad told me to!"

"Nah, you're using me as a fuckin' test-sister and breathin' down my neck when I don't wantchu to! Get off my back!"

He huffs angrily, rolling his eyes. "Whatever. I'm glad you're not my sister, anyway."

"And I'm glad you ain't my brother." I mumble, turning my back to him and crossing my arms. "Damn snitch."

I almost wish Carl never found out he was gonna be a big brother. It's turned his head big. He thinks he can play house with me and act like some hero just 'cause his Dad told him to, but I don't need no damn boy who don't even know how to skin a squirrel to look out for me. He ain't an adult and I ain't a baby. I don't even like it when he reads his comics to me or holds my hand when he wants to take me somewhere or shares things with me or listens extra hard when I'm teaching him something. I meant it. I'm glad he ain't my brother.

Screw him. When his sibling's born, he's gonna forget all about me, his pretend-sister, and I'm not gonna care one bit.

Inside, my Dad's voice is the loudest outta everybody's. To know what he's actually saying, I would have to ask Carl to translate, and there's no way in Hell I'm talking to him right now, or ever. I hear tidbits of Dale's voice, Glenn's, Jacqui's, T's. After a while, I hear shouting.

"If you were so sure you wanted to kill him," It's Dale. "Why'd you cover his face?! I know you have humanity in you!"

It seems nobody answers him, or he just doesn't wanna listen anymore, because the door opens and he steps out.

"Go ahead and slaughter that human being, then." He calls over his shoulder. "I won't be a party to it!"

He trudges down the steps, across the field, ducks into his tent, disappears. The thought that he might be crying makes my chest clench.

After that, the others file out. When I see Dad again, I feel like I might throw up.

He beelines for me, grabs my arm, pulls me off the chair.

"Get up." He seethes.

"What's going on?" Rick asks in concern.

"She messed up, that's what's goin' on." He drags me down the stairs. "Snuck into the shed and talked to Jim."

I hear Jacqui gasp at that. "What? When?"

Rick calls out to us, "Remember what I said, Daryl! If I see a bruise, I'll shoot you dead!"

"Man, whatever!"

He sounds pissed he would even suggest he's gonna beat me, but I don't think Rick really believes he'd do it, anyway. He just had to say it.

When we reach our camp, he throws me onto the stump and I sit there with a lump in my throat while he chews me out.

"Girl, I'on even have words for you." He says harshly, looking at me like I'm a nasty stain on his boot. "What the Hell were you thinkin'?"

"I—I just— I was just so angry, I wanted to—"

"I'on give a shit what you wanted." He cuts me off. "And I guess you don't give a shit what I want neither, do ya? Huh? Tellin' me you wanted to die, that was one thing, but what? Now you're tryn'? I gotta tie you down to stop ya, is that it? 'Cause gimme the word and I'll do it!"

"N-No," I quickly tell him, watching him pace back and forth. "I was just— I was just bein' an idiot."

"You're Hell right, you were bein' an idiot." He notices Merle's knife strapped to my shorts and lunges forward. "Gimme this damn thing."

He tears the button apart and rips the sheath offa me, stuffing it into the back of his pants line.

"You'll get this back when I can trust ya not to open up yer wrists with it." He growls before turning away.

I don't move from the stump for the next ten minutes. I watch him start a fire, heat up a tin of soup and eat it, and by then a whole hour has gone by and I realize I'm gonna be here longer than I thought. The sun goes down. Another hour, and I'm still sitting here. He doesn't talk to me, doesn't look my way. He doesn't even give me dinner. After that, another hour. He makes a few arrows. It gets colder and he gives me his flannel to put on, but after that, another two hours. It's around everyone's bed time when Glenn walks over and tells him it's time.

Dad understands what he means straight away and stands up, because there's only one thing he could be talking about.

"Stay with her." He orders Glenn without room for argument, and marches away.

Glenn watches him go, then sends me a small smile. "Hey, Harley."

"Hey, Glenn." I say a little glumly.

"You wanna come sit by the fire while we wait?"

I shake my head. "I'm in time-out. I gotta stay over here."

He nods and comes to sit in the dirt beside me, hugging his knees. The sounds of crickets chirping fills the air.

"I heard what you did." He muses after a long stretch of silence. "I'm not gonna add insult to injury, but that wasn't cool, Harley."

"So I've heard." I mutter, picking at threads.

"I mean, you could've gotten hurt." He patiently explains. "We don't know what Jim might've done to you in there."

"He hates me 'cause I remind him of his kids, y'know. He says I deserve to die like they did. Thinks it ain't fair."

"Wow." He scoffs to himself. "What a jerk."

"I think my Dad's got some more colorful words for him than that."

"Oh, I do, too." He warns, making me giggle. If Glenn wants to swear, that's how you know it's bad. "But we'll stick with 'jerk' for now."

"I think Lori would appreciate that." After a pause, I ask, "Did you talk to Maggie?"

"Yeah. I did."

"How'd it go?"

"It went good." He grins a little. "I got your advice to thank for that."

Aw. I'm happy for them. "I'll be giving Dale a run for his money, soon."

As we're both suppressing laughter at the thought of my life advice being better than Dale's, the group's wise owl, a gunshot cracks out across the farm. We both flinch. Our smiles fade. He puts an arm in front of me on instinct, looking out into the dark. What the Hell?

"They're hangin' him." I utter, seeing nothing but trees and night, "They hangin' him, Glenn. Why was that a gunshot?"

"I-I don't know." He grabs my hand, pulls me to my feet and keeps me close in case we gotta run. "I don't know."

Then comes the screaming. It's not Jim's.

"Dale," Glenn gasps right as my stomach hits the ground.

Then the group is running across the field and there are guns in their hands and flashlights are cutting through the grass. Glenn takes off running with me, his hand in mine, and I'm thinking that I should be on the stump, I'm gonna get in so much trouble for moving from the stump, but nobody's thinking about my time-out because there's all that screaming and Dale— Dale might be dying.

When we collide with the group, Dad takes hold of me and asks me if I'm alright, if I'm alright, and I struggle to nod.

"What's happening?" I whine, as Lori and T-Dog ask the same thing to two other people. "What happened to Jim?"

"We had to leave him in the barn." He says breathlessly before I'm running again.

There's a mess of running legs and bodies and panicking and then the squeaking of a gate, and then I'm pushing past everyone and then the world stops because there's a bundle on the ground. It's Dale. I hear someone retch. All of him, guts and all, spread out in the grass.

My Dad rushes forward and daggers the walker that's on top of him. "Come on, help! Help, he's— Fuck!"

"Who is it?" Lori shrieks as she runs to us, only to stop dead in her tracks when she sees.

Rick throws himself next to Dale's head. He's cradling his head and muttering things to him, and Dale's moaning and huffing and puffing and wheezing like a half-dead animal as the cavity in his chest pours blood into the grass. I do nothing but stand there in shock, watching it pour, pour, pour. There's shouts for Herschel, shouts for stupid things like bandages and stitches that make no sense and are just so awful, because ain't no bandage gonna fix Dale's missing stomach and his sprawled organs and the bite marks on his neck.

"We're gonna help," Rick's promising him while Andrea cries over his body, "We're here. We're here."

I'm wrapped up in a hug. Glenn. He steps backwards with me, holding me tight, saying nothing.

I was talking to him just this afternoon. I swear I was. He was right in front of me and he was alive, and I was talking to him and now he's laid out and torn open, and his insides are on his outsides, and I couldn't talk to him even if I tried, even if I had words to speak.

Herschel's here. He crouches, hovers his hands because there's nowhere to put them, no wound to put pressure on.

"What can we do?" Rick's asking him, up to his elbows in Dale, our friend's, blood. "We have to move him. Can we move him?"

Herschel stands, eyes bulged. "He won't make the trip."

"We have to do the operation here," Rick's saying, but it's useless. "We hav— We have to—"

"Rick." He puts a hand on his shoulder.

"No." He cries, turning away, holding his face. "No. No, no, no!"

"Oh, Dale." Andrea sobs, and somehow this is the worst part because Andrea never cries, and neither does Rick or Glenn, but they're all crying, all doubling over and sniffling and no-no-no-ing, because there's nothing we can do. Dale is dying right in front of us, dying in our hands. Carl gapes at the walker laying nearby, and that's when I notice the clumps of mud on its ankles, and I grab tighter onto Glenn and Carl runs to his Momma, because that's the walker from the swamp. The one we didn't kill. Andrea weeps, "He's suffering."

Another groan wracks Dale's mangled body, and we all feel it in our bones, because she's right.

"Do something!" She begs.

God fucking damn it, why didn't we just kill that thing when we had the chance? Please, it ain't— It ain't our fault, right?

It's Sophia all over again. The something is a bullet. Someone has to shoot Dale like we shot Sophia. Oh, God, Jim was right. Dale, my wise old friend, the man who just wanted to go around the country with his wife and his RV and read poetry books, dying in a paddock on the edge of a random farm in Georgia. I wonder if he's scared. Dale's never scared. He's one of the bravest people I know.

Rick raises his gun. I don't look away. I don't cry. I don't feel much of anything except my heartbeat in my mouth.

"Don't look," Glenn tells me, "D-Don't look."

Jacqui hides her face in Carol's neck. T-Dog turns away. Dad glances at me, tells me he's sorry with just a look.

We all know what has to happen.

He pulls the hammer back.

Dale coughs, looking into the barrel. He knows what has to happen, too.

Rick can't do it. His arm falters. He has to walk away, into Lori's arms, where he doesn't have to see it.

Dad steps up instead, raises his gun.

"Sorry, brother."

A bang.

And then Dale's face is blown to bits and I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Walking back to camp. Dad washing my face. Stamping out the fire, climbing in the tent. I don't really remember any of it, because I'm thinking about the sight of Dale's body wrapped in a white bedsheet and how when I wake up tomorrow, we'll have another funeral.

Dad sleeps beside me tonight. He holds me, soothes my hair, but he doesn't tell me everything's alright.

All of us are in shock. Back at main camp, I imagine Glenn will be sat up by the fire until sunrise, staring into the ashy pit, just thinking, mourning. Who's gonna teach him how to fix the RV's quirks now? Carl will be cuddled up with his parents, too. They'll be holding him tight. In the next tent over, Jacqui sniffling herself to sleep. Carol bunking with T. I don't think anyone's gonna be sleeping in the RV tonight.

Not for any real reason, but because it was Dale's.

I'm the only person awake. Alone with the white sky and my thoughts, I stare out at the tiny oak tree.

For some reason, the only thing I can think of is what we're gonna do with all of Dale's books. It's not important, but it's what I think about. He had Italian poetry, boring old non-fiction, a few thick classics that I saw him lend to people from time to time. Maybe they'll just stay in the RV, in all those nooks and crannies he had them stacked in. I won't see Glenn wasting the afternoon away reading a book on mystery, or Lori rummaging around for a romance book but only finding more poetry. Like I said, not important. But it hurts too much to think of other things.

Like how much I'll miss his chuckle-snort, the way he petted his pockets when he couldn't find his glasses. How he was good.

When Dad steps out the tent, he finds me sitting over here in the grass, still wearing his flannel.

He carefully sits beside me, and we just watch the thick fog roll over the farm together.

At the funeral, Rick talks about Dale's ability to read people, to know who they really are, and how he could always get under your skin by telling you what you needed to hear, not what you wanted to hear. I try very hard not to look at Sophia's grave. I never got to be at her funeral. I wonder what types of things Rick said that day. Something about her love for her Momma, or how she was kind, I'm sure.

When it's my turn to speak, I tell everyone that Dale was a better friend to me than my own Grandpappy ever was.

Maggie makes us all scrambled eggs and sweet-smelling tea after that, because we're sad and she's a sweetheart.

Then there's talk of moving sleeping bags into the house, dividing spare rooms, using the windmill for a lookout post. Others are saying those two gunshots last night are going to attract the horde and that we don't need to re-enforce the fence, we need to leave.

Me, I don't get involved. I sit on the sofa next to Lori and Carl and watch the fireplace dance away.

Then chores to numb the mind, collecting eggs and filling troughs. Carl don't talk to me the whole time. We're still pissy at each other.

Jim's execution is postponed. After what happened last night, nobody thought it felt right, and he got locked up in the shed again. I don't even think about going anywhere near it. I tried this morning to set myself back down on the stump again, but Dad gave me a soft, no, baby, and told me to come get dressed instead. I've learnt my lesson. No more puttin' myself at risk, and no more bein' an idiot.

I'm gonna really miss Dale. He's the smartest old person I've ever met.

I catch myself.

Was, now.

Author's note.

The moment I've been dreading writing. Dale is dead.

I love Dale. Especially since I started re-watching the show with some family, who all love him too. I tried fitting in a scene where he, Glenn, and Harley got a final talk together, but it just didn't work. It wasn't realistic. Nobody ever knows when disaster is going to strike, and you don't always get to part on good terms.

And my poor Harley has lost another person she cares for. That being said, she's more hardened than she was when Shane and Sophia died, so this won't be as devastating for her character. It's actually going to be good for her. Good riddance to the suicide arc.

Rest in peace to Dale Horvath, the wise old do-gooder.

Thank you for reading! :)

@poetoflawed

#fanfic #the walking dead #daryl dixon #twd #angst #rick grimes #twd fanfiction #daryl dixon daughter #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon twd #ao3 fanfic #dale horvath #daryl dixon x reader #original character #fluff #hurt comfort #hurt/comfort

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lutawolf · 1 year

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Between Us Episode 10 Commentary and Review

My other reviews can be found here.

We start this episode where we left off. Them asleep in the hotel room. Team's mom calls and Win answers. Look how fucking thrilled he is that Team's mom knows who he is. But I got to tell you, as a parent, if someone else answered my kid's phone like that. I would know. Why you ask? Because if I haven't met the friend, yet, then they aren't solid enough for that friend to answer the phone. Nope, I'm not joking. So if I haven't met them, and they're picking up the phone, that signifies that they are too important to just introduce to me normal like.

The fake sleep! How cute! And the head kiss. How adorable. These two are so sweet, they make me want to scream.

I love the up and down look that Team gives. HAHA. "Let's go, rich boy."

The parent meet. Notice that Team introduced Win to his parents as Hia Win. Not my senior at the club, not my friend. Basic Hia Win. Personally, I feel this says a lot. He says Team is a little bit difficult. Love it. Win isn't gonna lie to the parents. Then Team being like, I'm not going to serve you. Then he services him more food, lol. Anybody noticed that the parents aren't asking Win about who Team is dating??? Just if he is naughty.

The hugs and bye bye moment really feels couplish. The way they are saying bye, the mom and dad. It just feels like a couple. Then of course Win is going to drive. The parents have to notice that. Oh, Oh, Oh and they do!!! I called it!!!

Win is looking rough, did he catch a cold from driving through the rain? He asks Team about if he is feeling better, and Team has the "I don't wanna talk about it" game face on. You can tell Team is an only kid that he didn't catch that Win was sick sooner. Come on, Team, this is Win we are talking about. He might as well be the oldest. He takes care of others, not the other way around. That's right, put his ass to bed.

When did he become Winnnn online? Wasn't it Winnie the Pooh?

Team caring for his Hia. Aww... Cuddle bugs.

And Dean totally outed them in an, I'm a WinTeam shipper way. His smile says it all. 🤣🤣🤣 Can I just say that I've always liked Dean, but I love the clear view of Dean and Win's friendship in this series. And the sub trio digs in. OMG!!! I love how he is opening up to the sub trio. He is really coming clean about his feelings. Hopefully it will jog things along. Awww, they are so fucking cute. This episode is so mushy.

I'm dying over the chips. The way Win is just watching him add them to his bag. Finally, that full on view of his WTF face. 🤣🤣🤣 "Win, go back to your room." "I'm running a low grade fever. No. Night." 🤣🤣🤣 Ahhh poor baby. All that talk about feelings got you scared.

Yes! Win drag him away like a caveman! 🤣🤣🤣 They are so clearly out in the open now. Ain't no hiding this shit. Like I said, ain't hiding shit. Pharm threatening to go tell Win in front of everyone, lol. Then Win just smiling at Team like he got nothing in his head. Call him out, Dean! He would you!

DEAN!!! When I said call him out, I meant Win not subby sub Team who doesn't seem shy but is! Somebody smack him. Oh lawd, we're skipping to the friend Steve. I'm telling you guys. Win knows.

This young child is so much like Team. ARE YOU STARTING TO GET IT DADDY. As a parent. I am truly annoyed with him. I would walk through a pit of fire to make sure my kids are going to be happy. I don't and can't make everything right for them, but I can set them up for a successful future where they are happy. What's the point of success if you aren't happy?

The ABC gang are hilarious! Yeah, Team maybe not act like you don't get yourself in to trouble with water. Huh. Ahh, there is the apology and then the good boy. Once again, Win is getting him used to that praise. They kiss!! Out in the open for all to see!!! Love it.

Two second. Two seconds. You say you aren't scared and two seconds later you're scared! You guys are killing me! Fuck. These guys communicate so well on a D/s level, but not on a relationship level. Like someone trying to go from the scene into a relationship.

They are idiots. Both of them. Lovable idiots, but uncommunicative idiots nonetheless.

The next episode looks promising. Hope you guys enjoyed this! 💜💜💜

#between us the series #between us #win x team #winteam #team x win #luta opinions #luta talks kink #coconuts mafia

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lux-espiravit · 4 months

Text

Log #1 "Okay So- I got myself into this mess" Loading....

Some friends gave me their thoughts on the series after I asked around and their answers made me think.

AreOri is an alternate timeline where Fubuki Atsuya lives, the alien attack didn't happen, Gouenji didn't have to run, Raimon got divorced and went separate ways, and teams have sponsors now because capitalism. (im joking on some parts but still)

Now, we're starting where everything is dead and done and Raimon already went to other schools and made a name for themselves, and we're following a new cast who have to deal with the aftermath of everything. And the new villain, children perfectionism/ half-joke. I haven't finished Ares yet, but I can feel like that's a part of the theme especially with the whole schtick the Balance of Ares program's got going on. But that's a different story for a different time.

What I'm gonna be talking about now is the characters.

Of course that characters we loved and knew from the OG series are gonna be different here. (im still confused about someoka ngl) The development they went through in the OG is gonna be pretty different here or probably non-existent. A huge part of Fubuki's arc was caused by his family's death and it all avalanched into mental instability. (if my memory's right, it's been a while since i've revisted the OG series) Kazemaru also probably didn't leave Raimon in the AreOri timeline, so guess what, he just teams up with the antagonist in his character arc in every timeline. It actually reveals an interesting about his character, tho (i HAVE to watch the entirety of OG, im feeling it)

But the thing is, we also have ANOTHER cast to develop along with explaining some of the changes with the first cast. I feel like there's going to be a lot of flashback moments with the old cast. And to make up for the lack of development of some characters, I'm gonna involve the new cast into their development so the spotlight gets shared equally if it comes to it. Cause the new cast needs some love AND development. But I still have to finish the series and study them more.

So, my thoughts so far on Ares:

Rushed. Jesus H. Christ, twas rushed. It gives the feeling of tuning in while missing out on parts of the story, atleast for me. The first episode made me feel like I was missing the first half of it. I wished they let us see what the kids' life on the island was like. You know to SHOW US WHY WE SHOULD CARE FOR IT. Shoving a bunch of kids crying for their parents on screen aint gonna cut it for everyone, my good men. Show us what their life was like, what they were gonna miss. At least like a part so the flashbacks in their training felt a bit foreshadowed and connects to what we saw to the first ep to make it a little more memorable. (i am losing brain power fast, so im not sure if this makes any good sense)

The thing with Ares, Akane, and Nosaka got me curious. The Inakuni has potential. Haizuki's funny. I kind of like his development. Also I love Endou's civilian fit when he made his first appearance. Idk i just fell in love with it. (give him back his melanin pls) Kozoumaru's interesting, especially his connection with Gouenji (dude helps out a kid in every timeline). Hiura's supposed to be like a detective, right? Let him be more detective-y. Goujin's funny. He has a little charm to him. Mansaku and Michinari are interesting, especially their family dynamics. I love Iwato and Hattori's relationship. They're cute. Who is Okuiri Hiro? I love Norika's personality (it's a personal favorite thing). I think her backstory and home life are interesting. Hiyori's cute and I like him. He's silly. Coach Zhao is Coach Zhao. (this man is a war criminal) I like the new managers. She's silly and Anna's nice.

I'm gonna save Asuto (Bug Boy) for another post.

Peace Out!

#inazuma eleven ares #inazuma eleven orion #ghost rewrites

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invisibleraven · 9 months

Note

things you said under the stars and in the grass for Rulie?

Prompt fill #600 y'all! Thanks for sticking by me for this long, hope to see you around for the next couple hundred!

"Reggie?" Julie called from the porch.

"Out here!" he called back, a small dot in the field behind MeeMaw and Pops' place. They were all visiting there on the Georgia stop of their tour and everyone else was already asleep.

Julie rubbed her arms as she ventured out, sitting next to him in the long grass. "What are you doing out here?"

He gestured upwards. "We never get stars like this back home. Kinda missed them."

Julie let her gaze drift upwards and almost gasped. The sky was full of streaks of light, clear as anything. She took in the majesty of it all as her hand found Reggie's squeezing it tight. "It's beautiful."

"When I was little, I thought the stars were really far away fireflies," he says softly. I used to come out here with my bug jar and try to catch them, especially on nights when there was a meteor shower," he said.

"You ever succeed?' she asked, grinning when he removed his flannel to drape over her shivering form.

"No, but Pops taught me where to catch real fireflies," he replied. "I always made a wish when I let them go, because I still thought they were stars that had come close enough for me to catch," he said with a chuckle.

"Any of your wishes ever come true?" she leaned her head on his shoulder, inhaling the woodsy scent of his cologne, mixed with the smell of the nearby peach tree.

"Well I'm still waiting on my dog that can talk to me and go on adventures with," he replied wryly. "But some did."

"You wanna make a wish now?" she asked, pointing upwards.

"Stars aren't shooting yet," he said. "But I can point out some of the constellations while we wait."

"I'd like that."

Reggie showed her where Orion was, and Cassiopeia, the Ursas; both Major and Minor. "There's Polaris, the North Star," he said. "Pops always told me if I could find that, I could find my way home."

"But your home was in Silver Lake," Julie said.

He shook his head at that. "No, that's where my house was. But that place was never really my home. Not like here."

"Do you miss it?"

"Yes and no," he said. "I miss MeeMaw and Pops, of course. The simple, easy life we shared here. The smell of the farm, the feel of riding a horse, the stars. But I think if I were here, I would miss the rush of LA, the sound of the traffic, and well, you guys."

"Maybe when we're older we can find a happy medium," Julie suggested. "A nice ranch somewhere close enough to the city where you can have a horse or two. Sing country songs on the porch with your banjo."

"You gonna learn to play the fiddle by then?" he teased.

"I promised you I would," she joked back. "Just need you to write me a song for it. For us."

"I got one right here," he said, pointing to his heart.

"I think you mean right here," she said, tapping his temple.

He shook his head at that, and gathered her hand in his. "Nope. The song I have for us is in my heart, because that's where you are Julie. You're my North Star, you know. Always guiding me home."

"You're my home too Reggie," she sniffled. "Brighter than Polaris."

"If I could capture the stars for you, I would," he said. "But I suppose, maybe just one would do?"

Julie looked at him, and then down at where his palm was open to her, a gold ring sitting there. She picked it up with trembling hands and felt the tears prickle as she took it in. The centre was a star with a large diamond in it, flanked by two crescent moons and some clouds, all dotted with diamonds.

"Reggie..." she started, but couldn't form words.

"Julie Molina, I promise to make your every wish come true, if you'll grant just one of mine," he said, voice shaking, eyes wet, but his smile was as wide as it could possibly get. "Would you please marry me?"

"Yes!" she shouted, toppling them both over to leap on him, covering his face in kisses, the both of them laughing wetly as they pulled apart. Reggie grinned as he slipped the ring onto her finger. "You are the greatest thing I ever wished for."

"And you're my Polaris," she replied.

Reggie beamed, and helped her up, their hands intertwined as they went back inside, the stars still twinkling up in the sky, but none so bright as they ones shining in their eyes.

#filled prompts #ficlet #rulie #julie and the phantoms

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marvel-and-chicago-fan · 11 months

Text

Happy Meals And Hotels

Matildas age: 4

Pretty small one, this is one of my favorite ones ive written, although it dosent stand where i want it and the writting is off i still like it

Jays pov

Today, Me, Matilda and Will are heading up to our cabin for winter break. Currently I'm going to pick up matilda earlier from school than we had originally planned. The forecast says for heavy snow, even though me and Will can drive through the snow, we decided that we didn't want to go through it with Matilda in the car because of how young she is.

I walk up to the receptionist so I can check Matilda out.

“Mr. Halstead, Will dropped off Matilda 2 hours ago. Your usual pick up times not for another 3 hours” She said while typing on her computer

“Yeah, I was supposed to pick her up in an hour but with the forecast we wanted to get ahead of the storm so we can head up to the cabin for the holidays.” I replied

“Ah, I see. I’ll call Mrs. Norris to bring her up.” She says with a smile while picking up the phone

“Hi, This is Cora from the front desk. Do you think you can send one of your assistants down to bring up Matilda Halstead? She's getting checked out for the day.”

She puts down the phone and looks back at me “She’ll be down in a minute.”

“Thank you so much” I say with a smile

I go to sit down while I wait for Matilda. I hear a little voice that I love to hear every single day. “JJ, I missed you!” She says while she runs up to hug me

“I missed you too Mattie bug”

“Why are you picking me up early, JJ?” She looks up to me

“Me and will have a huge surprise for you”

“Really?”

“Really, So let's hurry up and get in the car

I buckle Matilda in her carseat and start driving to wills

***

Wills pov

“Hey will, the snow is coming down really hard and I don't think we should keep going. There's a hotel down the road” He says

“Yeah i was about to call you to say the same thing, Matties asleep and i can she thats shes uncomfortable in the car seat.” I say adjust my mirror so i can see Mattie better

“Ok, I'll call ahead to see if they have any available rooms. Make sure you get all your stuff because im not sharing any of my stuff with you”

“Whatever will, keep your eyes on the road” He jokes

“Yeah yeah bye, jay”

“Bye will”

I pull up at the hotel Jay sent me and I call them. “Hi, do you have any rooms available for 3 people?”

“Yes but we don't have any regular rooms available, We only have suites available” The man said

“That's fine, can you hold that room for Will Halstead, I’ll pay when we get to the front desk.” I tell the man

“Sure, The room will be on hold for two hours and then it will be up for whoever wants it”

“Thank you” I click the hang up button

Just then Mattie wakes up

“Willy, are we there yet?” She tiredly

“No Mattie were gonna stop at a hotel for the night”

“but i wanted to play with my toys at the house” She complains

“You have some toys in your bag, you can play with those in the hotel room. I promise to buy you a new toy when we get back home.”

“Ok”

We sit in silence while pulling up to the hotel then she breaks the silence “Willy i'm hungry”

“Did you finish all your snacks?” I question how a 4 year old can eat that many snacks in a few hours.

“No JJ ate some of them and then dey fell on the ground when he put me in my chair”

“We're gonna have some words with Jay on how he shouldn't eat your snacks aren't we?” I chuckle

“Of course willy” She laughs

“And its they not dey Mattie” I correct her

“They?”

“Good job”

***

jays pov

“Jay shes 4 you can’t just not feed her” will sighs

“Well i'm not just gonna run out to mcdonalds to get her some food”

“Please JJ I'm really really hungry and I want a happy meal.” She gives me that puppy dog face

I finally cave in because who can't say no to that face. “Fine, Will you want the usual?”

“Sure, i just want a coke instead of a sprite this time” He responds

“Gottach, I’ll be back in like 35ish minutes”

***

Gosh, it's so cold. If I drop this food now Matildas going to have a tantrum at one in the morning and will give me that look when he wakes up in the morning because he got no sleep because a toddler cried all night.

I walk into the hotel to see people begging for rooms and others yelling because they prioritize families with young children. If I need to intervene then I will but for now I don't need everyone knowing that there's a detective here with a small child.

As the elevator closes I can hear a lady arguing that I was allowed to go through and she wasn't.

***

Jays pov

“Alright, i got her an extra large fries that she can snack on and eat with her food so she doesn't eat ours.” I Say while taking out the food from the bag “I got the container that the pancakes come in so she can put her food on a plate.”

“Wait- where is mattie?: I look around the room for her nowhere to be seen

“She's in the closet” Will says as he points to the door

“Why”

“She got mad because i left the ipad charger in the car when her ipad died, then when she asked for my work computer i said for her to wait and let me set it up. She had a tantrum about wanting it now then ran into the closet.”

“She’ll get over it, she's probably just cranky. She's been in the car seat for 10 hours and she hasn't eaten anything. Oh and can you grab a mug a and wash it in the sink so i can heat up some milk”

***

“Thank you for the food JJ.” I smiled

“Your welcome mattie.” He said with smile

“Ok off the bed, it's almost 2 in the morning and we’ll leave at 12 if possible.” Will said, cleaning up all the food that I threw on the floor.

***

“Is she finally asleep?” jay asked me

“Yep, I looked at the weather and it looks like we’ll be here for another day or two. So i’ll drive down to the store that a couple blocks from here and get some stuff”

“Alright, night will” he mumbled

“Night jay” I said switching the lights off

Now that ive read it i kinda hate it compared to my new story :l

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idle-compy · 1 year

Text

alright!! I am done for tonight

here's my defintely super comprehensible live thoughts while playing

** SPOILERS BELOW **

DARIUS I MISSED U

SHIT

oh nvm thought I killed him already

ben why u running off

TO GO EAT BUGS OF COURSE

DARIUS NO

MY BOY

I KILLED HIM

DO NOT CHOOSE RUN NOW

ooh they mentioned owen

who's the old guy

probably good time to mention I haven't seen any of the jw movies so if he's relevant I have no idea

heck yeah I'm bringing bumpy

WHY DOES MY AUDIO KEEP CUTTING OUT EVERY TIME I MAKE A DECISION STOP

nothing good ever happens in the tunnel so we're going to main street !!

I DIDNT LIKE THAT LOOK

SHIT BLUE

BEN WHY DID U SPLIT UP MAN

HA BUMPY SAVED HIM I CHOSE RIGHT BRINGING HER

MAIN STREET

oh no it's rexy

OH NO SHE FOUND THE KIDS

wow they're bad a hiding

DARIUS DO NOT GO AFTER THE PAGE SIR

darius THIS SEEMS LIKE A REALLY BAD IDEA

ben actually excited to drive the gyrosphere

wow ok he rear ended yaz and sammy license revoked sir

DAMN YAZ IS TEARING INTO HIS SOUL

a fine example of my road rage tho

YAZ SAMMY NO THEY'RE GONNA BE CRUSHED

sorry ben not trusting u ramming that gyrosphere sounds fun

WAIT NO

I SHOULDVE TRUSTED U BEN IM SORRY

now he's dead 😔

my current kill count is 3 I am doing very bad

THE CONSTANT NABS AT DARIUS AND HIS SMELL

that sounds like a clue for later can't wait to forget it

TNE TARBOS BACK

heck yeah coaster time

KENJIS FACE

they've been steady making fun of the parks safety protocols and ykw as they should

darius u are NOT jumping in that water

I guess he IS jumping in that water bc if he doesn't they all die

TARBOS BACK AGAIN ???

oh nvm she left

kenji was so confident 1234 would work

AND THE TARBOS BACK AGAIN GEEZ

THE ANSWERS 2005 I GUESS RIGHT

the way I'd immediately move into that bunker

this brimford man already has more outfit changes than the kids

he straight talking truth tho

theyre so happy :')

----

GONNA RESTART but choose everything different

so either choice darius just fucking falls

OH BUT DIFFERENT CAMPERS FOUND HIM

sorry bumps ir staying behind this time

dang they found the paper so much sooner without her

aw darius gave her hope her pack was still alive

SPOOKY TUNNELS

oh everyone's fighting

"I could tell a joke or hit em with a super cool dino fact" DARIUS UR SO PURE

yes sammy use that corn maze sense

KENJIS GETTING SAVAGED BY THOSE THINGS GEEZ

"raptor rats"

I saw sneaking past in a clip I'm retacing their steps

OH GOD I KILLED DARIUS AGAIN

guess they're NOT retracing their steps

"did u know ankylosauruses like mangoes 👍😀👍" "I did not 👍😀👍"

NOT THE CAR BEING A RIDE

everyone else on the ride: 😒

sammy and yaz: 😀

WHY DO CARS ALWAYS FLIP WHEN YAZ IS BEHIND THE WHEEL

TORO BABY ITS U AGAIN

"I'll be fine! ... probably"

DARIUS BUD I KNOW I CHOSE THIS OPTION BUT WHY

WHY WOULD THEY LOCK TORO IN THERE WITH THE TARBO SYOP TORTURING HIM

THE DRUMROLL I DIDNT GET THAT FIRST TIME

ben said forget eating bumpy gets mangoes

going back again just to see what escaping before going in the bunker does

oh they still survive ??

but they didn't get any food :(

"what one food would u want in it"

"coffee"

"I could go for a carob juice"

"teriyaki beef jerky"

"can you freeze dry pizza"

"canned lobster in butter sauce"

"I'd go for my mom's famous..."

crying

#jurassic world camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous #hidden adventure #jwcc spoilers #hidden adventure spoilers #my posts #I'll probably put together actual thought later but I've got to get some sleep in before work

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ajdrawshq · 2 years

Text

ok im tired as hell and its too gotdamn warm for me to actually sleep so im gonna list off some of my omori thoughts til i pass out

i got the good ending bc i was following a guide bc i Cannot stand full screan surprises n the guide was good but the one (1) thing it doesnt remind u to do daily is water Basils plants. so. im doing all of that again now

i love the fucking characters in the game theyre all so neat n alive. i keep wanting to say im attached to someone specific but im having a hard time picking favorites theyre all so Good

theres a lot like a Lot of instances where Kel is hinted at being the lesser sibling and just the least important out of his friend group and its only really stated in an obvious kinda way once n like. he seems totally fine most of the time and he doesnt seem down often or for long at all in unrelated moments but for these he doesnt seem to even acknowledge it. and of course the others dont seem to think of him as less important which is Good but does he like. have a problem with this. i wanna say hes hiding it but i dont Know bc hes fucking good at it. i might make a whole post on this later actually

seeing Hero cry hurt more than i thought it would and seeing him jump right back to smiling seconds later every time made it Worse. its the older sibling thing

one detail i really like is that while some of the scenes are meant to be funny to the audience, Hero's fear of spiders isnt usually made fun of (the only time i can remember is when Mari apparently snuck bugs into his desk to see his reaction lmao). otherwise hes taken seriously and the others try to push him to overcome it someday, not Now but its something he should work on himself. and the bit w Kel removing a spider from their room, all while saying what hes doing exactly and reassuring Hero that the spider was gone, was a sweet thing to see compared to all the other media where siblings would throw it at the other or something yknow its just nice

Aubrey Good. thats the post

Basil

i dont even know where to fuckin begin with Basil (affectionate) this kid has Problems

seriously theres so much shit going on w these kids thats left unsaid but is worked into the environments or even just what they Dont say its genuinely incredible. beautiful characterization and worldbuilding

the real world sections of omori feel less like im playing as Sunny and more like im guiding this child in a gentle but assertive manner to Do Shit. like ok kiddo brush ur teeth and then we're gonna go outside today. yes its good for u trust me ive been there anyway ur buddy is at the door, go have fun!! oh btw i found some parents who will literally pay u to help their kids with homework. yes ur doing that. its free money dude cmon

cant believe omori lets me live my true dream job (organizing things in short bursts for money)

on that note the music that plays for the tool organizing and the flyswatting jobs might be my favorite track in the game and i have no idea why. its like the audio equivalent of the word blorbo

i wish there was a fucking therapist in this town bc god knows id drag em all there

my brother came in during one of the endgame parts n thought Sunny was a girl when Basil was teasing him abt his crush on Aubrey n went "aw yeah you cant escape the gay even here" (not in a derogatory way) n it took me so off guard i forgot to correct him. hes right tho actually

"when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie thats omori" is the funniest joke that couldve ever come out of this game i want to personally thank whoever did that

showing all the different ways the kids reacted to grief and trauma and acknowledging that some were more harmful to themself or others and thats just how people work sometimes n they all make amends n agree to support each other in the end and begin to heal despite it all. h

also the moment that i realized the dream world was in fact a dream world made by Sunny and. everything it represents. his desires. his fears. dude

#i see a lot of myself in Sunny so all the messages abt facing stuff to heal and ackowledging change n stuff . MAN #the only bit that kinda went over my head was when everyone in the dream world was forgetting abt Basil #im. not entirely sure of the reason for that. im sure there is one but it missed me by a hair #im also aware the other route reveals a lot of stuff that im prolly missing but. i. do i have the courage for that. do i really wanna do it #ok ive been typing this stuff for two hours n its still warm as Fuck but im so so tired. gnight yall 💙💙#omori tag

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gale-in-space · 2 years

Note

oooh, camellia for the ask game?

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

Ohhhh this one's gonna be sad kinda (mostly for me).

Holy SHIT this got long, throwing this under a cut. Read or ignore at your discretion.

I used to be pretty hyperactive and rambunctious as a kid. I loved being a tomboy, I loved wearing paint-stained button-downs, I loved to run, I loved pretending I was a dragon tamer and an astronaut and a warrior cat and a fairy, I loved riding horses (I only did it like once or twice but I loved it), I loved snakes and bugs and lizards and all sorts of creepy crawlies, etc, etc.

And then I got shy. Really shy. I never raised my hand in class and I got all panicky when I was called on. I didn't have friends really, because everyone thought I was weird (and they were right lol) and I dressed weird, too. I was bad at sports and I made bad jokes. I got picked on a lot, and when I told my teachers, they rolled their eyes and told me I needed a thicker skin. So I got shy. I would always bury my head in my hands on my desk and hoped everyone would leave me alone. This lasted through the end of elementary school and into middle school.

In middle school friends happened to me, but they didn't actually like to hang out with me. I got into anime (shudders) and started drawing. I wasn't very good at it but everyone started knowing me as "that weird girl that draws in class all the time." I also started writing a lot, and even got into a writing conference in the 5th grade (I panicked and didn't write anything the whole time). I also wrote my first essay on capitalism and climate change then (I'm sure it didn't make any sense at the time). I hated math and science. Like, really hated it. I also started calling myself stupid and talentless then and started believing it. I think these things are related somehow.

I got really into clarinet playing around this time, too. I fell deeply in love with it and my teachers were so proud of how good my tone was. I joined marching band and pit orchestra in high school and found my home in music. I just... I loved it so much. I felt safe playing my music. I felt like I could actually do things for once (and I got really arrogant about it too, always bossing around the clarinets that didn't get as good of a chair placement as me). I made first chair each year.

I still hadn't come out of my shell though, but I had started to get a reputation as being somewhat funny. I liked to act, even if I didn't go out for plays. I loved to write satirical essays and I fell in love with Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" at the age of 17. And I thought to myself, I want to be an English teacher and do some writing on the side. Because that was what I was good at.

Nope!

A friend had hooked me up with a Psychology class and I was like "whatever I guess I'll try it, I need credits anyways" and I. Instantly fell in love lmao. It just came so naturally to me. We're talking straight A's all the time, baby. I wrung my fingers about taking a college course in it my last semester of high school (I was convinced I was too stupid to get into College despite being an honor's student) and whaddaya know. I loved that, too. More A's. So I packed my bags on the English Teacher Front and went to college to be a therapist or some shit.

I hated my first year of college. I worked at a hot dog stand and came home smelling like ketchup and beef every night. I quit playing clarinet due to social anxiety and I made absolutely zero friends. Classes were easy until they weren't (Biology was the worst), and I hated myself and wanted to die. I did find some solace in fandom, however - I joined tumblr and became a Tolkien blog and started crafting my own sequel to the Lord of the Rings. That was literally the only reason I kept living at that point - for my weird characters and my extensive google docs about them. And for the Schmidt. What's a Schmidt, you ask? Why, it's coffee, half-and-half, and white chocolate and caramel syrup, all served at the local campus cafe. Delicious.

Anyways. I transferred to a lesbian all women's college and continued my education there. I was forced out of my shell kicking and screaming through courses on "social interaction" and it... actually worked, I'll be damned. I started participating in class more. I wasn't making friends, but I actually talked to people now. My grades shaped up a bit too (not that they were low before, I just happened to be putting a little more effort into my classes. I still wrote my experimental paper the day it was due though. I ace'd it against all odds. Procrastinator's bluff). Whatever. I became a tutor, study group leader, mentor, etc etc. I got an award for psychology and endeared myself to my professors. I graduated with high honors and fell in love with a trans man and decided I was also a trans man blah blah blah got a job at a medical school + hospital yada yada yada this paragraph needs to end already.

Okay. Three years later. I'm an entirely different person (literally). I like medicine now, despite being extremely squeamish (working on that bit). I like space again, despite having hidden that aspect about myself for all my life. Like I really love space. I can't ever be an astronaut sadly, but maybe one day I'll get to work for NASA or something. I'm trying not to get my hopes up though. Only the best of the best end up there.

What else... idk, I'm somehow more mentally ill than I ever was, but at the same time, more stable? I'm deeply in love with my two partners and have survived two hospitalizations. I'm trying to get off my cocktail of medications because it turns out psychiatric meds kiiiiinda don't work that well but it is what it is. Also I'm a witch now. Aaaaand I'm going back to school in the fall, for pre-med. Yeah.

Okay well that was. Way longer than it needed to be so. Yeah. Thanks for the ask :)

#asks #ailinu tag #i... am SO sorry this is so long #ridiculous.#anyways #tagging this as #rot's tragic backstory #this isn't even the half of it kajsdjkd i didn't even talk about the abuse #anywaysss

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willowmccann · 25 days

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the day has to start anyways || self para 001

who: willow mccann + sarah miller where: willow + sarah's apartment in greenwich village, new york

"Come on, Willow, we'll be late to 20th century and you know how Sullivan gets when we're late" The blonde heard her roommate shout through the door. Sarah was referring to 20th century architecture, the course they were both taking together as fourth year architecture students. Willow rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. It was 6:45 in the morning. Their class started at 7:30, and they definitely needed at least 20 minutes to walk to the building where the class was held. The Urban Design and Architecture Studies building at NYU was a beautiful place, but not that early in the morning, and certainly not after a Los Angeles Kings game with the time difference.

Yes, she shouldn't have been watching that game...

No, she couldn't help herself.

Wyatt had been her best friend all through school, both middle school and high school. When nobody else had wanted to be her friend, ignoring the new transfer nerd who was taking AP math while everyone else struggled with basic derivatives, Wyatt had once seen her playing with a small lego fidget toy she'd built herself (basically a bunch of keychains with pieces that she interconnected to make random patterns). After that, once they'd grown up, they'd found each other in the back alley smoking after parties, and it wasn't many encounters like that that made them best friends. He shared his NHL dreams with her, and Willow told him her dream of becoming a world known architect and design sustainable skyscrapers all across the globe. What she never told him was how quickly she'd fallen in love with him, and the reason why she'd never tell him once he was drafted into the NHL even before they left their small suburb in Chicago, Illinois.

That was three years ago. When everyone thought Wy would get traded to the Blackhawks while Willow was touring NYU and getting all her pre-admissions done. And while she was drying her hair and absentmindedly listening to the draft on her phone, she heard Chicago Blackhawks followed by his name. Chicago or any New York team would've worked perfectly... But Los Angeles... That was never gonna work. A last minute trade that threw a bug in her plans to tell him how in love she'd been with her and that she was ready to work her ass off to make the train rides between New York and Chicago to be with him.

She wasn't gonna steal the experience from him. If they weren't going to be together, she didn't wanna be the boring best friend who he'd have to travel every time he could to New York to see because she'd be buried in sketches and exam papers... And she certainly wasn't gonna burden him with the thought that she'd been madly in love with him this whole time.

So for now, Willow just admired him from a far. They'd lost touch, thankfully, because from all the light stalking she did from burner accounts, Willow could tell he had a girlfriend. Having to meet said girlfriend if they'd stayed friends would've been the biggest sucker punch in the planet. So distance worked. She could focus on school, and Wyatt could... Focus on whatever he wanted to focus.

Three years had gone like this, and it wasn't gonna start changing now.

"Willow, if I don't hear you opening this door in two minutes, I'm leaving wito-" "Oh come on, Sarah, you know I always make it and you never leave me... Can you make my latte for me? I don't want us to be late" Willow joked, giving her best friend a hug.

She probably knew why she was so tired and looked sad. The Kings had lost. Sarah didn't care about that, but she cared about her friends' heart...

Oh well, the day had to start anyways, right?

#sp. 001 #sp. the day has to start anyways

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brittlebonesguy · 4 months

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time for season 8

NOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! lex is BACK???????? what, to haunt me? i thought i wouldnever see him again. and fucking TOM>??sexist, pervert tom? this has ruined my day. at least i know thisis the season boston rob meets his wife (amber) so that'll be fun at least. but i have a feeling this season is a stinker. ohgod and that "i'll do anything for you just to look at me" rob from the amazon season. kill me. "no body trusts anybody" boston rob says with his soon to be wife standing 2 feet away. i'm really only rooting for rupert. maybe amber, we'll see. sue you're gonna get brain parasites please. alicia is so right though, its day two who made amber and rob be in charge, richard is obnoxious shii ann say it louder! i want a season long combat between shii ann and richard, that would be funny. colby's face dropping the moment he sees jerri lol. he knows shes gonna hit on him again come merge. bye tina! sad it was you and not ethan

colby.....what does him being gay have to do with it. oh big tom how i loathe you. i actually don't want rudy voted out thanks. damn. okay bye old man. now that shii ann isnt surrounded by the worst filth possible i am liking her more. richard is crazy what was that? biting a shark back? i don't even care if sue is annoying. an enemy of tom is a friend of mine. sue, you are the love of my life. never leave. amazon rob really is just so pathetic. ah yes the classic jerri fight where she says the other person is controlling while also being controlling. she makes points but girl please. yes shii ann colby and lex are incredibly sexist and honestly please never speak to them again.

jenna we're doing this again? why did you come back. this whole thing of her leaving is so dramatic. of course tom would think that amazon rob is smarter than alicia... come on......NO ONE wants tom out? be serious. anyway bye amazon rob

this is colby's worst nightmare: jerri getting put on the same tribe as him. richard being naked on the balance beam think was.....definitely something and definitely gross. fuck YES boston rob winning against the show off with colby. jokes on you robby, i never though colby was tough. i agree that richard should go, however i feel like colby's motivation is homophobic, so actually i think he should stay. yes jerri, reject that alliance/vote. i love this shii ann and kathy alliance. FUCK YES bring jerry in the mix. richard, shii ann, kathy, and jerri? never thought i'd say this but dream alliance right there. kathy.....kathy please....don't ruin this for me. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!! i still have to deal with COLBY????? fuck you guys for getting my hopes up

yeah obviously doing a blinsdside would result in upset feelings kathy but sometimes you need to do them anyway. annoying. who gives a FUCK about LEX???? i forgot about how bug boston rob's ego is. i want shii ann to have a villian arc, and her origin story was colby making a snide comment at her. for sue's sake im glad richards gone because it was really fucked up. the victim blaming that happens with this show is crazy. i'm glad alicia is on her side. yeah im sure you're not sitting back because you suck or anything, ethan. lex they girls already had no compulsion to keep ethan and colby around, please stop patting yourself on the back. everyone being too callous about the whole situation is crazy. i agee with jenna in the splitting of the food. i take back everything i said, fuck kathy. its just the amount of "oh i know the guy and he would NEVER" blah blah.... and im sorry if something violates and humiliates you that much, then sometimes emotions come out, kathy. and its not pretty because its not suppose to be.

idk the jerri hate isn't sitting right with me... oh yay kathy got chosen to be safe...joy🙄. ethan's "some of us are heros and some of us are goats...and i'm a goat" has a completely different meaning now. colby not be annoying challenge failed. the way every cell, fiber, sinew, ligament, joint, nerve, and bone in my body LOATHES tom...if i have to see one more quirky music scene of him acting like a fucking idiot im beating jeff probst with my bare hands. actually lex there was an opportunity to get colby out last tribal, but that was jerri's idea so obvi we'll pretend that didn't happen because a woman came up with the idea. i love how petty jerri is. and yeah shii ann really should set aside her hatred for jerri and get out colby, which she won't because why would she make a move ever. she always talks about doing it but in the end she's just a floater. ethan is so dramatic no one gives a shit. "im sorry jerri to speak for you" "yeah please don't" that...is so funny. THE EVIL IS DEFEATED!!! fuck off colby NEVER come back. thank you shii ann, i take back what i said before and i hope you kick ass the rest of the season. also in defense of jerri, i have actually come around on her. she was right about the jerky, she was right about getting colby out. shes just RIGHT, not the most likable and a little annoying, but men get away with that shit all the time. case in point: ethan.

the men on the other tribe being so mad every time they lose to boston rob is so funny. idk....people making fun of rupert makes me sad. rupert's opinions about boston rob are so correct. i agree. serves boston rob right to miss horribly at the challenge. jerri don't feel too bad no one would have made those shots anyway. sometimes ethan is just so serial killer, i can see why him and lex are friends. why do the women of survivor always do this. they just trust mean implicitly. it makes no sense. "i just trust him, i don't know how to explain it" 🙄 bye ethan!! dont come back. i'm really liking shii ann as well. she's setting aside her personal opinions and seeing the bigger picture, which a lot of players don't do.

the ghandia slide of that book thing......distasteful. and now lex wolf whistling about a woman he doesn't even know. okay i know amber wins this season so im interested to see how she makes it out of this. because no way lex is like oh for sure rob i'll save your gf for a MAYBE alliance. again with this jerri hate. why can't we just vote out lex? i'm also SO SICK of lex being "in charge" and then telling people that thye're being voted out instead of just doing a blind side like hes the godfather or smth. i'll miss you jerri. why on earth does everyone think boston rob will keep his word? he literally doesn't. .......i hate tom. it's always rupert and the girlies. he refuses to play survivor unless he's got two women by his side. i wish men weren't the way they are tho.

exactly lex of course rob was gonna go back on his word. kathy......wtf. don't do that idiot. HA. thanks kathyyyyy. THE OTHER EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED!!!! as much as i hate him, i think lex is gonna make a funny juror.

god YES please get out big tom. ......cool rob is safe...😒 that foot shot of alicia was FOUL like back the fuck up. danm kath, i wish that worked out. shii ann is definitely going next. pagonging in an all stars season is so weak. please stir it up shii ann. i hope she gets immunity because.....its getting less interesting. when its just a majority alliance taking over and then going cannibal. i hope this challenge is a wake up call for alicia. and also i relate to her. i too would be emotional. jenna.....is annoying me. oh what a shock you're gonan give shii ann the bowl of rice, as if i didn't call that. rob is also really getting on my nerves. oh? only shii ann is obnoxious jenna? just herno one else here? miss oh im soooooo sorry alicia let me hug you even though we aren't friends and you don't want to be touched or talked to. alicia.....please just betray rob. fuck YES! shii ann got her first immunity. serves the tribe right for ousting her the way they are. its so rude. and the fact that not a single person will talk to her about game play at all is strange and telling. even though straying away from rob and aligning with shii ann is the better option for literally everyone but amber. "don't get too cocky sweetheart." honestly all of you can go fuck yourselves. 👆🏻you've been telling shii ann for days that shes leaving the first chance you guys get and are shocked when she doesn't really like you guys and tries like hell to win immunity, which everyone said "i'd be SHOCKED if she won that" assholes. she was gloating, alicia, because you guys say that she can't win anything and also SHE WAS GOING HOME TONIGHT. like....use your fucking brain. wow very original getting rid of alicia. can rob just leave already.

rupert didn't care about you not catching to fish jenna, he's upset because no one helped him gut and clean them, which all 120lbs of you could have handled. i will miss you shii ann. truly. and the truck curse still prevails. i......do not know how amber wins. and rob wins again 🙄. this game play.. consider me....bored. YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!! the final evil has been defeated. go fuck yourself tom if you EVER come back im personally castrating jeff probst.

jenna saying that she's taking fate into her hands by voting out rupert so they don't go to rocks when her literal only two options are vote the way shes being told or go to rocks. ........ i dislike you. oh rupert i wish you had won that immunity 🫤. jenna acting like she's gonna go to rocks....like we all know you're gonna write ruperts name and go to final three (which is as far as you'll go btw). thanks for nothing jenna. no closer to a million than if you actually let it up to chance. and the final immunity goes to rob😐. this romance is so barf. kathy.....that was brutal. i hope rob feels awful after that. "since you're so interchangeable" jenna pleasekjadkjasnkjsbf. tom just sounds fucking drunk all the time. they were absolutely ruthless. rob and amber look SO upset about it too.

cbs is just letting their star host hang out of a helicopter with harness? bold. rob dominated jeff 🤨. okay then. congrats amber! i don't care for your husband. the "you suck" in the audience while lex was talking was me actually. the booing for jerri is a little much jesus. and yet colby gets nothing but cheers? i know sexism when i see it. no seriously lex is being the biggest hypocrite there is. assholes. all the booing made jerri leave. justice for my girl. JENNA AND ETHAN??? girl.....say sike. youre dating him??????? oh so they get to go on a cruise after being voted off huh? thats pretty nice. the audience voting for another winner and i think kathy saying "its rupert!" very true. colby is a contender? 😐that the fuck were some of those sexiest survivors? ROBB??? the man who just finally understood what empathy was? the fuck. AND TOM IS A CONTENDER FOR THE MONEY???? thankfully rupert won because i would have flipped if it was any of the others. all in all this season was kind of disappointing considering it was all stars. it had its juicy moments but it got bogged down by all the people i don't like so I'm gonna give it....5.8 out of 10

#survivor #survivor8

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