#ok now that I've made 4 of them i can stop and make something else right. RIGHT.

[yappacadaver]

♥ CUDDLING MASTERPOST ♥

#The Mortuary Assistant #Raymond Delver #i need a yumi tag #rayumi #yappa art #YUHHHHH #loving them #ok now that I've made 4 of them i can stop and make something else right. RIGHT.

[differenteagletragedy]

Swap AU Alert!

At last, a Step 4 for Baxter, your best friend since childhood. Hallelujah.

Here's the last fic in this delightful series, with links to the previous ones!

You were sitting by your gate in the airport, waiting on the plane that would take you back to your hometown, when you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket. You took it out, looked at the screen and smiled.

Baxter had sent you a photo, and when you opened it, you saw it was specifically a selfie. He was at the country club with your moms, deep into planning their anniversary party. In the picture, they had him in one of their trademark mom hugs, and he was smiling wide with one of his arms out to capture the moment.

Before you could respond, he sent a follow-up text: "You should be here now."

"On my way," you told him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When you made it to Prism Vista City, you'd texted Baxter like he'd asked, and you were outside for just a few minutes when you saw his sleek white car pull up towards you. You made your way towards him, anticipation at seeing your best friend making you move faster. He parked, got out, and threw himself at you.

You forgot your bags for a minute, letting them drop as you put your arms around him instead. He hugged you like he always did ever since you both left town and stopped being neighbors who saw each other every day -- hard, like he had to be sure to feel every single bit of you to remember in the weeks or months until you saw each other again.

"How have you been, darling?" he asked, pulling back to look at you. He brought a hand up to stroke your hair, then let it rest on the curve between your shoulder and neck. If anyone was watching, they'd think you were two lovers reunited, but you weren't. You were just you and Baxter.

"We talk everyday," you told him, pulling your own hand around to rest on his chest. "You know how I've been."

"I know, but it's different seeing you. Being like this."

You were about to reply, but a honking car stopped you. With a particularly dramatic sigh, Baxter let go of you and grabbed your bags, carefully placing them in his trunk as you got in the passenger side. As he drove away, he shot you a grin, then held his open palm out over the middle console. You laughed, grabbing it and putting it in your lap to hold for the drive to his apartment.

It was a little strange, you knew that. Best friends didn't normally behave as affectionately as you did. But you'd had a crush on Baxter for over a decade, one that had long since turned to love, and so you embraced his flirty, touchy tendencies. It might not mean anything to him, but it definitely meant something to you.

"Can I ask you the question now?" he said, giving your hand a squeeze as he pulled away from the airport and onto the main road.

"Already? Isn't it a little early?"

"I'm feeling particularly inspired," he told you, so you said, "Ok, go ahead."

He took a breath, gave you another squeeze, and launched into a question he'd asked you countless times in the past year since he'd moved back to the area after graduating from college.

"Will you move in with me?"

You chuckled, and he took it as an invitation to continue.

"I have a second bedroom. It's fully furnished, completely ready for you to move in at a moment's notice. You'd be closer to family."

"I like my job," you told him.

"You can do your job here, too," he argued. "And even if not, I already pay the rent and bills on my own, I could support you until you found something else."

"Baxter, I wouldn't let you support me."

"Then you can rely on your industrious spirit," he laughed. "I don't care. Just move in with me."

You told him what you always told him whenever the subject came up: "I'll think about it."

He hummed, not entirely pleased with the noncommittal answer, but he didn't have much of a choice besides accepting it.

Soon you arrived at his apartment building, and when he parked, he got out and swiftly made his way to your side. You waited for him, content to give him the opportunity to be a gentleman, and he opened the door, then offered you his hand so he could help you out of the car.

"I can do this kind of stuff on my own," you told him, watching him grab your bags from the back.

"I know, but why would you? You've got me."

You followed him into the building, then into the elevator that took you up to his floor. You'd been here a few times since he'd moved in last year, but you were always impressed with how nice it was. For all he went on about cutting his parents out of his life and making his own way in the world, he was still doing very well for himself.

He unlocked the door, held it open for you, then followed you inside. He quickly moved to the guest room to put your bags down, but he was back by your side in a flash.

You hung out for a bit to rest before heading out to Sunset Bird to visit your parents. From there, you and Baxter followed them back to the airport so you could give Liz a quick hug when she arrived. She went back to your hold house with your moms, then the two of you were free again.

He wanted to cook dinner for you.

Back at his apartment, you sat by the counter, watching him prepare a somewhat complicated dish, still wearing his crisp suit. It was a nice view.

Seemingly reading your mind, he said, "It could be like this every night, you know."

"Is that so?" you asked, knowing what he was doing but wanting to hear him tell you about it anyway.

"It is. I could cook for us both, you could sit there looking gorgeous. It would be quite the life, don't you agree?"

Even after years of those kinds of comments, they could still sometimes take your breath away. Your cheeks turned red, and he grinned.

"Just think," he said, taking his voice a bit lower, "all the ways I could make you blush if we shared a home."

The way he looked at you then, glancing over from the stove, was a little different than the way he usually did. There was a sort of heat in his gaze, and you felt your face get even hotter.

Before you could find any words, his phone rang. Still, he kept his eyes on you.

"Should you answer that?" you asked. "It could be about the party, or a client."

He paused, still watching you, but eventually reached for his phone. He told you that it was a client, then took the call.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day was the party, and most of the day was spent with Baxter at the country club, getting things ready. The prep wasn't nearly as intense as it was for a wedding, but he still wanted things to be perfect, so he put in the same amount of effort as he would for his actual clients.

When the guests started arriving, it took Baxter a moment to flip from planner mode to party mode, but your moms forced it. As their unofficial third child, they wouldn't accept him not sharing the table with them, and so when it was time, he took the seat by you.

Dinner passed quickly, and when you were done, he gave you a familiar smirk. It didn't take a lot of considering to figure out what he was getting it -- he'd hired a band, so he wanted to dance.

With a playful sigh, you held up your hand. He took it, and pulled you to the dance floor.

"Imagine if you lived here, how often we could do this," he told you once you got in the swing of things.

"I think that's more of a reason for you than me," you replied.

"Of course, but you can't say you wouldn't like it."

He was right. You couldn't.

Much of the rest of the night was spent dancing. Your moms took turns dancing with Baxter, and you had to share your own dance with Lee. You loved it like this, everyone being together.

You hadn't told Baxter, but it was getting harder and harder to refuse his requests for you to move in with him. It really would be so nice to be closer to your parents and to see him every day. The main reason you didn't wasn't because of your job -- he was right about that too, you could do it anywhere. It was because you thought living with Baxter, so close to him while not actually being with him, would just be too hard.

When things were winding down, he approached you for a final dance, and you agreed.

"I have a proposition," he told you. "Do you think after we leave here, you might indulge me just a little?"

"In what way?"

"It's a surprise," he said, his eyes twinkling.

You couldn't say no, and he knew it, so instead of waiting for a response, he just smiled.

And that's how, when the party was over, you went with him on the familiar road back to Sunset Bird.

Baxter drove all the way to your old street, refusing to answer any questions about what exactly he was doing. He parked on the street, but this time by your moms' house -- his own parents had left the house across the street while he was in college.

You got out too, too impatient to wait for whatever he was planning. He approached you, offered you his arm, then led you down the path to the beach.

"I still don't get what's happening," you told him, but all he would say is, "You'll see."

He took you down by the shore, and when he was in a spot he deemed acceptable, he let go of you and started taking his shoes off.

"Is the surprise that you want to wade in the water?" you asked. "Because that's kind of a weird surprise."

Instead of answering you, Baxter took his socks off too, then his jacket. He unbuttoned his shirt, added it to the pile of clothes that was forming by his feet, then took off his pants.

"This is still a weird surprise," you told him, but your voice was a bit constricted this time.

"I want to go swimming," he replied. "With you. Out there. That's the surprise."

Your eyes went wide. Baxter was scared of the ocean, he always had been. Despite ten solid years of living right beside it, he'd never once gone in deeper than his knees. He always said that someday he would, but you stopped believing it a while ago.

But it looked like someday was now.

Too excited to think about being self conscious, you took your clothes off too. Both in your underwear, you made your way down to the waves.

When they started hitting his legs, he instinctively grabbed your hand. You held it firmly and let him take the lead, which he did. Despite being tense and visibly nervous, he kept going until the water was up to his chest. Then he laughed.

"You're doing it!" you told him proudly.

"Almost," he said. He let go of you then went a bit further out, fully swimming. His biggest fear, or one of them, at least, was conquered.

These days, Baxter was generally happy, but this was different. He was elated. You could see his dimples standing out on his cheeks in the moonlight. He looked like a little kid splashing around, not the mature professional he usually presented himself as. It was adorable.

You swam with him for a bit, staying close in case he got nervous, but he didn't. When he'd had enough, he moved closer to the shore so he could stand solidly again, the water up around his ribs.

You followed him, ready to congratulate him on the massive accomplishment. But before you could, he gripped your hips, pulled you against him and kissed you.

After freezing for a split second, your body reacted for you. You wrapped one arm around his shoulders, the other coming up to rest on the back of his head. The kiss was long and deep, and although you were so close already, he kept trying to bring you closer. He'd pull away for just a moment to trail smaller kisses across your cheeks, down your jawline, on your neck and across your shoulders, but it never took him long to find his way back to your lips.

Finally he took a break, leaning in close and breathing heavily. You searched his face and saw that same expression of pure and utter happiness.

"What was that for?" you asked quietly.

"For being you," he said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "For being my favorite person. For being patient with me even though I should have done that years ago."

Your heart was racing, but with Baxter so close, you could feel his heart beating steady. He was excited, you knew that, but he was sure. Solid. This was what he wanted. He wanted you, it seemed, just as badly as you had always wanted him.

"Baxter?" you said, spinning a lock of his hair around your finger.

"Yes?"

"Ask me the question again."

#our life beginnings and always #our life #olba #baxter ward #our life baxter #olba baxter #our life baxter ward #baxter x reader #baxter x mc #baxter x you #baxter ward x you #baxter ward x reader #baxter ward x mc #our life swap au

[captainjacklyn]

jealous headcanon with neige, trey, jamil, cater, epel and rook please

Ok, a jealous head canon coming right up ! Thank you for requesting anon, I hope you enjoy reading this. So sorry for making this so late.

Pairing(s) : neige leblanche x reader, trey clover x reader, jamil viper x reader, cater diamond x reader, epel felmier x reader, rook hunt x reader

Warning(s) : well...jealousy, a bit of possessive behavior because you are their partner after all ! The reader's gender wasn't mentioned so it will be gender neutral, please send in a request if you wanted it to be specific.

Neige Leblanche :

Neige isn't one to be jealous easily, he's constantly surrounded by admirers so if anything you need to know what you're getting into once you decide to date him.

If you get jealous he'll apologize but Neige is far too nice to shoo off his fans. It's annoying, but you must understand that fame also has its flaws. Such as...this one.

He gets a little pouty if he sees you spending more time with someone else than him.

If its just a quick hello or a short conversation he doesn't mind. The boy isn't going to destroy your social life !

Of course he won't immediately show it when you're with that certain person but once he notices just how happily you're smiling in their company, Neige starts to have doubt.

He would understand the pressure of having to be with a star, he always needs to dress up so that people don't recognize him.

Would you be happier with someone else ?

Would you be better off with a person who doesn't have to make you suffer the fate of being watched 24/7 simply because they're popular ?

he will distance himself from you and you have to talk to him about his behavior towards you.

Tell him that you're happy and that you love him for who he is, not because of position in fame.

Trey Clover :

He is an easy going/really chill guy, Trey doesn't get clingy or becomes a jerk when he feels possessive of his partner.

He won't plan the person's death either. Looking at you jade-

If you are the one who is causing this jealousy by flirting with a random friend or being physically closer with another platonic companion he doesn't know :

Trey would be more of a doubtful type of jealous, similarly to Neige, he'll immediately think the problem is him.

Maybe he hasn't given you enough attention this week or he did something wrong and now you're finding yourself in the need to receive this recognition from someone else.

Will ask if he did anything to upset you, will maybe act more lovey lovey then he already is, probably asks you something like "Do you wanna try the sweets I've been baking ? I made a little too much so it would be great if you could help me not get scolded by riddle !"

Now for the different scenario :

The person you're interacting with is the one who is doing the flirting and/or acting too touchy with you.

He talks to you regarding the matter but he won't make a big deal about it. Just brings it up one day and as his lovable partner you can either tell the other guy/girl to stop because you're taken or simply cut ties with them.

A healthy relationship isn't healthy without trust and if you don't trust him or if he doesn't trust you then get tf out-

He's just a cool husband, good husband material. Must marry.

Jamil Viper

Jamil will handle the situation in a very calm manner but on the inside he has already murdered whoever is taking up your attention 3 times. wait now it's 4-

When he does get jealous he completely denies it cause he thinks it's childish to think the way he is thinking when someone gets too chummy with his partner.

If it's Kalim then dear lord please tell the sweet prince to run or else another overblot is going to explode.

...

I did not just witnessed you speeding down the dorm hallways with an oblivious dorm leader in your arms and a vice housewarden viciously shooting snakes at y'all.

If you're the one who is initiating the whole..whatever he assumes to be flirting he will give you the worst silent treatment.

And I mean it when I say the worst.

Bro doesn't even look like he's breathing the same air as you, no acts of service will ever have Jamil give you a single glance in the next 500 hours.

After that he's a bit grumpy but with an apology along with the head of the person you flirted with will get him to forgive you.

"Just don't do that again, I don't know what kind of sorcery had you flirting with that student but you better not do it ever again."

Our Viper boy is someone who requires loyalty in a partner despite not being that loyal to his own future ruler himself ! COUGH COUGH YOU CAN STOP KILLING ME JAMIL

Cater Diamond

UUUH- what.

First of all, I have no idea how he would react.

I'm hesitating between 'he'll flirt with that person with you' or 'he'll turn into a completely different individual and scare the other one to death.'

...

Yeah no, neither of them work.

Cater is not someone who strikes me as possessive or completely open either. Similarly to Neige, this man is going to feel insecure and probably lose his smile when he sees you look more cheerful/ flirty around someone who isn't him.

Walks away, head down and eyes on his phone. He scrolls through magicam to keep his mind distracted, but Trey could tell his smile didn't reach his eyes when he saw him.

"hey there Trey-un ! Uh ? Oh [Name] ? They're just hanging around their friends, I decided to leave them alone since I didn't wanna bother..Mmh ? Am I jealous ? I mean I shouldn't be, but you're right..I am. But don't go telling them that, the last thing I want if for them to get mad at me. I wouldn't wanna loose my favorite Magicam Star !"

It's depressing, I'm not even joking, it's really really sad.

GO APOLOGISE RN

If the person is flirting with you and making you uncomfortable then he'll jump right in and rescue you from those idiots cay-cay style !

*abominable shriek of cringe*

Why is his English translation so wonky-

Epel Felmier

Anger, lots of it, especially if someone is hitting on you in front of him. And knowing what will happen if that person mistakes him while flirting with you for a girl just makes it worse.

He'll get annoyed of course, but he sure is furious now !

Epel can get possessive, he'll punch the teeth out of the student who dared to even look at you weird.

If you're visibly uncomfortable he doesn't hesitate to step in and pull you towards him.

"They belong to me, fucker." "EPEL ! LANGUAGE !" "VIL SHUT THE FUCK UP- !"

Just kiss him and remind him that you'll never leave because someone tells you one to three pick up lines. He's the manliest man in your eyes and that'll never change.

You flirt with someone else :

He's running up to you screaming and crying about how unfaithful you are.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME ?!" "epel-" "IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT TALL ?! IT BETTER NOT BE WHY ?!" "I just asked them where the next chemistry class was." "..." "DID YOU NOT ASK ME BECAUSE I'M NOT MANLY-?!" "epel please-"

Rook Hunt

HAHA run.

Both of you, run.

There is no escaping this man, he's hunting you both for dinner.

Rook is one who's ok for open relationships but if it means straight up cheating, you are dead.

If the friend is the one who's hitting on you but you don't reciprocate he'll just jump right onto the conversation and be like :

"I know ! My trickster is the most gorgeous person I ever met, however, that means they deserve to be worshipped so bow down and praise the ground they walk on you predator-"

Jk, unless.

I mean your his partner and a god/dess to his eyes, you deserve to be treated as such.

We all know how he can't stop blabbering about your gorgeousness. (I'm gonna be honest with you rn I have no idea how to write for this guy, he is so weird and will get turned on just for witnessing a murder.)

So he isn't surprised when other people are attracted to you, if it's just a friend, then he would like to know them better.

If it's someone who straight up tries to flirt with you while you're uncomfortable then he'll jump right in and say the exact words I expected him to previously.

On the other hand, if you were the one trying to catch someone else's eye then he'll ask you what's wrong.

"Is there something I haven't been doing right for you Beauté ?"

If you managed to score Rook then please marry me you're drop dead heavenly-

Thank you for reading now bababye~

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst jamil #twst neige #twst trey #twst rook #twst epel #twst x reader #twst x you #twst x gender neutral reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x mc #twisted wonderland disney #disney twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #disney twst #twst wonderland #twst yuu #rook hunt #twst rook x reader #twst trey x reader #twst neige x reader #twst jamil x reader #twst epel x reader #twst cater x reader #cater diamond #trey clover #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader

[marvelwifesupernaturalmistress]

So I just finished Good Omens recently and I have a couple things to say and my family and friends are so done with my rants about different movies and TV shows.

1: Holy shit that was a good show! I honestly didn't expect much from the show but holy shit it blew me away with how good it was. It was comedic and I found myself laughing so much and it was so beautifully written the characters are just top tier amazing and wow what I'd give to just continuously rewatch it as if it's my first time watching it.

2: I watched supernatural and I thought wow never gonna find another show like this. One that brings me joy and sadness then I found this fucking wonderful amazing show! AND it made me even more sad like what the fuck how do I keep coming across shows that cause me so much fucking pain. Also can we talk about the parallels between the two shows. Oh look two characters working together to stop the end of the world one a demon and one's an angel, counting Dean a demon solely for this post plus demon Dean did exist, both are oh so obviously in love with each other but neither will admit it, most of the angels are dicks and we all hate metatron, there's a demon named Crowley and many more. I mean look at the similarities between Dean and Crowley. Both are in love with their angel best friend, both are absolutely in love with their car, love classic rock, both are some sassy bitches, both don't want to show their emotions but are big softies, and are both the better looking person in the couple (in my opinion). Then look at the similarities between Aziraphale and Crowley. Both are angels in trench coats who are in love with their best friend, they are manipulated, complicated, traumatized, beautiful angels, both have trouble understanding (some) human expressions, and both struggle with their loyalty to heaven. Also, is it just me or does the first like 10 seconds of End Titles- the one that got left in the car from Good Omens kinda sound like it could be a beginning to a Supernatural opening credits or is it just me?

3: My God David Tennant is FINE like I've seen his face sometimes haven't really seen him in much and was like ok yeah he's attractive and moved on. But then I saw him in this and I'm like wow now I get what everyone's talking about. Like just ahhh this man is fucking attractive! I'm honestly ashamed of myself for taking so long to realize.

4: So TikTok in all its wonderfulness blessed/cursed me with a bunch of Good Omens content the day after I finished watching good Omens. Including a looooooooot of people cosplaying as Crowley. And may I just say the people who cosplay him are fine as fuck! I mean it's really hard to dress up as Crowley and not look attractive I mean Crowley is a style icon. But holy shit the people are so fucking good looking like I just can't. My sexuality does a nose dive off the empire state building when looking at them. I was talking to a friend about it and she said it's a case of wanting to be with them or be them and I disagree. I want to be with them all. Just holy shit you want to look good dress like Crowley you'll look fantastic.

5: The effect this show has had on my life is insane. I have been obsessed with listening to Queen since I finished the show. Which I'm not complaining about at all they were my favorite and still are my favorite band before I even watched the show. I have barely listened to something that wasn't Queen or songs from the show since I binge watched the show. I'm listening to another one bites the dust while typing this. Once again not complaining. Also, did anyone else want to dye their hair like Crowley's when they finished the show? Cause I do. I have been blonde my whole life and never wanted to change it and now I want it red. And I need to know if I'm alone in this or not to determine how alarmed I should be.

6: They had no right making the relationship of Crowley and Aziraphale they way they did. First they made them friends who obviously were in love with each other but hid it then they give us them acting basically as a married couple being so fucking adorable and me just wanting the type of love they have for them to give us that ending of season two! I'm not gonna lie if my dad wasn't up and calmed me down I either would've spontaneously combusted from my literally shaking anger or went on a spree. Not sure what type of spree but a spree of some kind.

7: How all of you wonderful people didn't riot or harm Neil Gaiman is beyond me. First when season 1 ended y'all had to wait 2 years to even get a green light that there was gonna be a season 2 and then another 2 for it to finally come out. And then for the season final of season 2 to happen where then you had to wait even longer for season 3 to be greenlight is just you all have a greater will power than me. I'm coming into this with two seasons and a third confirmed so a round of applause to y'all. And now I completely understand why I kept hearing people say they hated Neil Gaiman and stuff like that.

And finally on a somewhat unrelated note I'm planning to watch Doctor who since I'm about to finish another show where can I find it and what order do I watch it in? I've heard many different answers on the order.

Thanks everyone for coming to my rant y'all are wonderful and everyone have a wonderful day!<3

#good omens #david tennant #dean winchester #castiel #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #doctor who #queen #neil gaiman #supernatural #michael sheen

[sucantslay]

HONEYCOMB SUMMER // analysis

Ok, before getting into this, I'm warning y'all, I'm not good at analysis ( I did like 4-5 of them before, that it )

If anything wrong or you don't feel like that what it actually is, feel free to think differently.

This is some...most of my thoughts I pull out of my head then put it on here so... yeah, don't expect a "unable to communicate with other easily" to do much.

My English is a bit bad.

This analysis is long, like...HELL LONG. So pls do make some free time before reading.

Thank you for reading that! Now let's get into the real stuff, shall we?

Pls accept my sincere apologies, but before getting into the song, can we talk about the...the event story first?

The event that Honeycomb Summer came from is: Heat Haze ◆ Lingering Summer & Hot Limit

And after spending my dia like a rich ass kid just to unlock all the story ( I missed out the event ) and spend some time reading.

The story's mainly focus on Niki and Niki's past from when he first meets Rinne. But aside from that, it also highlights Rinne and Niki relationship.

LIKE, RINNE LITERALLY ASKS HIM FOR MARRIAGE. STOP- I CAN'T

And you maybe think, yeh, he was just joking around. No, no he's not. He did not joke that stuff around.

And I'm not telling you to believe that Rinne wants to marry Niki in a "marriage" way. I like you to know that Rinne's living a different life than other character and the one who is likely to understand it like him is Hiiro.

Who didn't get annoyed when Rinne called Aira his little "girlfriend".

The meaning of marriage is being viewed different here. It not the couple's rings, not the beautiful clothes nor was it about the wedding ceremony.

It's about the two getting to stay together legally, that their home is officially below to both and got admitted by everyone else, and that Rinne loves Niki in a way that he wishes to share the hardship with him.

Clue? IT'S EVERYWHERE in the event story and *talk with a shaky voice* Epilogue 4... Epilogue 4 shines the best out of it.

He, HE LITERALLY SAID: "I tried to tell him that if we got married, we would become family, so there was no need to worry about causing me any trouble. I also tried boosting his self-esteem by making him a popular idol."

"I'm just a hick, but I've done my best..."

Like, Rinne was trying so much to make Niki happy. But Niki's Niki...He's scared that he might cause Rinne trouble so he mostly stays out of it.

From what had happened to Niki dad ( His dad who often gets featured in TV programs got banned from TV stations and was forced to never appear on TV again / from Main story Episode 139 / )

So when trouble comes, Niki always hides it from others until it eventually solves itself or until Niki finds some solution to solve it.

It the same as in Hot Limit story, where Niki stayed: "I'm was afraid that if I became a criminal, I would cause trouble for my dad, who was finally getting back on his feet, and my mom, who supported him all the time."

And yet again in Epilogue 4: "Nahaha, But I don't want to cause trouble for people around me like my dad did before..."

And surprisingly, our song for today~ Honeycomb Summer is not just about Crazy:B, it's about NIKI! And what came into Niki life when he was young? Rinne! So Rinne had a big impact on his life, made this song also talks about Rinne in some way.

Ok, ok, first line, first line:

I think that Niki making fun of Rinne's shirt style, but then the next line went:

"I'm going to make another joke like that"(Rinne line)

And I was like, nah, that didn't click, it gonna be something else.

So, if we return to the story event, I was thinking, ok, so maybe this is about the old time more than the present.

The foolish-looking T-shirt is actually from Niki and he gave it to Rinne and after Rinne wears it on, Niki laughs at how it doesn't fit Rinne at all.

If you don't know, Rinne who ran away from his home at that time got nowhere to go, when he was lying dead on the side of the road, Niki accidentally walked by then decided to adopt him.

So maybe Niki gave him some of his T-shirts then felt how weird those T-shirt were.

"I'm going to make another joke like that"

So, consider the fact that Niki doesn't make that much of a joke in the story, he was trying to get close or wanted to make Rinne feel more comfortable by cracking up some weird joke that no one could laugh at. Since he don't usually do that, he's not that good at it, but still trying his best for the little confusing Rinne.

"I'm sorry I let my true feelings get in the way" (Niki line)

"I was just regretting it" (Rinne line)

Niki don't want to cause trouble for others, so "Sorry I let my true feelings get in the way" shows how much Niki wishes to hide himself in, hide what he desires the most because he is scared that "following his heart" may cause other people around him to stuck into his stuff and that might trouble them.

With that came the story event, the same day when Niki brought Rinne back to his home, Niki later on collapsed because he didn't eat properly, Rinne panicked, and ran out of the house, begging the neighbor for some food.

When Niki woke up, he found food, a lot of them. But when Rinne said that he "rod" them, Niki was dumbfounded, thought he really did such things until Niki asked the other and found out that Rinne was actually insincere about it.

Thinking that Rinne was a bad person until Niki got to know the whole story did he finally go soft on him. Realize that Rinne is a good person and feel the want to keep him around.

"I'm sorry for picking you up just because I hope that I'm not a bad person and left you there on the street, and now I'm regretting it. You deserve a place to live in. And maybe mine isn't the best, but this is all I have."

"With a shy look on your face. You're just trying to fool me" "Isn't that just pulling us apart? The distance between us" (Kohaku & HIMERU)

"(WHAT GOING ON?)"(All)

Remind you about the fact that Niki is quite aloof.

Don't really get along with other friends (did he even have any friend at that time?)

So having some stranger staying in his house is not a good thing for him. Both are having communication problems so who will be the first to open up now?

And with Rinne ruthless way of talking, it was hard for the inexperienced Niki to understand him without misunderstanding it.

But Niki still hold onto the kindness in Rinne heart, knowing that Rinne wasn't actually THAT MEAN. Though the way he talks is like he wants to push Niki away.

(Note: The translation in-game was like this: "In an attempt to get away with it, but that will only push us apart. And widen the distance between you and me." )

Niki was panicked: "What should I do? What should I say? How do I treat him in his needs? Food! Maybe Food! He liked my food so-!"

He didn't know what do to, and neither did Rinne.

Niki sometimes regretted letting him in, but at the same time, he felt relief for giving him a home and didn't let his body rot on the side of the street.

"I don't want to make a bad play"

(Rinne line)

"And don't want to be a bad actor"

(Rinne&HIMERU)

From these 2 lines, it not about Niki, this captures more of Rinne characteristics as we all know, he acts like a mean, harsh person but at heart, he just wants the best for everyone.

And he was trying to "play it cool" here, just like the time he asked for food from the neighbor for Niki. He displays himself as a flawless, perfect being but inside he's just as pathetic as everyone else.

He didn't want anyone to find out about this, not even Niki, who was the only person he could rely on.

What happen if Niki found out that he was faking it? He may be a monarch but he's nothing but a helpless human in the big city.

He's smart and is the best human being around, yet is all but the way he wants people to look at him. He can't help it, he was being raised to become a monarch, to be brave yet alone.

The king who stands alone, sees nothing but the darkness. Then got confused when a stranger that he couldn't push away came into his life.

Niki gave him food, gave him a place, he's not the king! He's a small little human being who loves idol and the new world that shine bright like the sun.

With what Niki gave him, Rinne want nothing more but happiness for Niki. ( This had been showed in the story event, like, dam...I'm in tear)

"NO MORE, SO HOT" (All)

(Note: This is the first line that brought up the heat. The summer heat, yes, is also an element in their story as Niki meets Rinne in the summer.)

"So why don't you just..." (Kohaku & Niki) "Take it off."(All)

There are 2 meanings in these lines:

Firstly, the real meaning. It is hot, and they want to take off their close. Like, literally. Because the word "nugi" in the second line "Nugi sutereba ii ya" is this "脱ぎ" and it alone means: "Take off your clothes".

Secondly, "take it off" also mean "become naked". And no, I'm not saying naked the other way, is the mental way. Being naked is being all out, no more hiding, be yourself, and telling the truth, never the lies. It may be embarrassing as much as you're naked in a physical way because us human don't always speak what we thinks.

And who hide their real self a lot? Rinne.

Niki may not always do as he likes, but he never acts highly to hide his true self. BUT Ya know who is? Rinne, Rinne, Rinne~!

"And reveal everything" (HIMERU line)

Now, I want you to imagine the summer heat. Like, you are lying in your room, trying to find every way to defeat this heat that burns you from top to bottom.

How do you feel? Madness drive, frustration hit. You just get all tired without even getting your body to do any hard work.

You're just a little mad burning meat, and at that moment you just F*CK IT! Then take it all out, and say: "Because it hot out here!"

So, this and the "nugi" line put together is about Rinne just admitting it all to Niki. Like, they be lying somewhere on the flood in the summer, can't get the fan to work then Rinne just starts blasting out all his frustration because he can't take it anymore.

It is not just the heat, is the timing, is the moment. When Rinne finally got to talk about it, before that, there was no one that actually listen to him in the way that he wanted to.

Hiiro is still young, he was raised to protect Rinne, so it is still hard for him to understand Rinne's words.

The people there can't really understand it either, they only care for his bravery, king-like version.

The only person that he can rely on is this stranger that had now shown strong impact on his life, as he feels comfortable enough to be with.

But at the end, Rinne just stops: "Oh sh^t, maybe I should stop, I'm talking too much about such things that may revealed my truth self, I should stop now before too late." Then laughed it off as if it was just all a joke: "Nah, that's just because I'm hot! It getting hotter in here, enough to drive me crazy!"

At every vents he ever tells Niki, he just ends it up with a: "Just joking." To the point that Niki thought when Rinne actually told the truth, he was joking all along.

"It'll all be over in an instant (SO HOT!)" (All) "Like a mirage" (Kohaku line) "That's (DIVE) why (LIVE!) I want it." (All)

"Unforgettable time" (Niki line)

"WITH YOU!" (All)

To Niki, all the honest that Rinne have been was never a bad things. Even if export all his lies he had ever told Niki, Niki has nothing more then joy and love for him.

He’s happy for Rinne to be who he really is, either a mighty monarch or just some random guy who living rent free in his house, Rinne is Rinne, to Niki, already knew who he’s truthly is, so when Rinne just vent all that out, Niki don’t hate it.

Niki was happy to be the one Rinne can relied on, his first friend, first partner, someone to keep him company ever since his parent gone abroad.

All that frustrating moments under the heat of summer turn into an enjoyable time that are hard to forget.

"It's not the time to play games"(Kohaku line)

"The sun was shining so badly" (HIMERU line)

"That made my head go crazy" (Niki line)

"How it is like that?" (Rinne line)

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" (All)

Once again, the heat is taking over. As Rinne started to get confused about how much did he keep sticking on to Niki and Niki also wonder about how much Rinne impact his life more and more.

It also feel like Niki is panicking through the lines, complain that it is getting way too hot, and can't no longer be patient with Rinne brutal ways of acting.

Just slit it out you dummy! I'm having enough with ya keep hiding your real emotions like that!

Even if you're dead by the heat yet you still wanna hide it in?

"What you want to say" (HIMERU line)

"If you don't have the courage." (Niki line) "You won't be able to say it." (HIMERU & Niki)

It seems like there are confessions that Niki or Rinne want to make to each other.

Niki want to tell Rinne how much he had made his life turn brighter than it should be. Keeping Niki company through the loneliness.

While Rinne also wants to tell Niki about how much he loves to be with Niki. The silly chef who left him nothing but love and joy.

But they are scared that the other can't seem to understand how much they feel just by saying: "I love you."

Is that enough to make Niki believe that he loves him?

Will Rinne continue to stay here if he finally finds a place of his own. ?

But if I don't tell them now, when will another change come by?

None of them have the courage, but still, they're trying to show each other by action.

Rinne made Niki an idol, so he could shine like the sun, and maybe he'll start to realize how much he matters to others.

Niki follows Rinne on his journey to become an idol because Niki is the only one who truly understands him. He was scared that people only see the bad part, and with that came Rinne's action of never wanting to back down or accept his true self, Niki wanted to be there to help him out.

"Toward the sea" (Rinne line)

"With momentum" (Kohaku & Rinne) "Let's jump into it" (All)

This is the moment when all that heat is gone away, and they finally grab the freedom they want.

They no longer suffer under the heat of summer, under the pressure made by their own mind.

The moment they stay on that stage, the moment Rinne's wishes come true.

"Unless you blame the hot summer (SO HOT)" (All) "Highest temperature doesn't mean anything" (All)

Niki realizes Rinne still had his problem keeping it secret, now trying to get him to slit it out.

This is not that summer day anymore, the fan isn't broken, and there is no other time better than this moment to talk about your problem, but if you decide to stay silent, I know you'll blame it on the heat of summer.

"Let’s enjoy ourselves without hesitation (NON STOP!)" (All)

Note: There is also another version of this line that is being translated like this: "Don't be afraid to have fun (NON STOP!)" (One are from youtube: Honeycomb Summer (YB) and another is on Tumblr: Honeycomb Summer (TB) )

Niki told Rinne to stop being stressed out and just go! Enjoy! Isn't this what you always wanted? What to be afraid about?

"In intervals way that surprise me and you. If we follow each other. Let's share more ( DIVE LIVE!)" (All)

Sorry, but, once again, I have to, I'VE TO PUT THE OTHER VERSION ON!

"Oh, a moment with you (So hot!) It’s so fleeting Let’s share more (Dive live!)"

Rinne was like, yeah, maybe you're right... there's nothing to be afraid of as long as you're by my side.

"Let’s blame it on the sweltering summer (Dive, Now!)' "We don’t need to be so considerate anymore" "Show it all off! / Just let it all out (Oh yeah!)" "It’s over in an instant (So hot!) I want to be with you" "It’s like piercing through the blue (Dive live!) An unforgettable moment(WITH YOU!)" (All)

There is no word needed. Just read these lines and you already know what going on.

Let's keep it short, Niki and Rinne want to be together in the summer. Even if it's hot like hell, even if they're going crazy. Rinne might say something silly again, and the person that Rinne wants them to listen to his ramble will always be Niki.

"Cause I’m Crazy Bee, that’s just my nature"

Cuz, Niki now in a team of crazy bastards, a team that doesn't hold back, so Niki himself has to be brave, change, and adapt to the new environment.

"A sweet memory, like a honeycomb" "It’s okay to be greedy"

Niki wants to be with Rinne and the rest of Crazy:B but he scared that he might cause them trouble, Rinne was there, tells him that it ok, if any trouble, just let me and the others know, maybe we can lean you a hand.

"Let’s take it all with us" "Come here!"

Come here! Stay together, no boys got left out!

That ITTTTTTTTT, THANK YOU FOR READINGGGGG!

Also, here are some screenshots of the event that I want to share with you! Really worth my dia after all:

That it~ That all~ RinNiki~ Thank you for coming and reading this long ass post.

It's a funny coincidence that I'm writing this at noon, IT HOT AS HELL HERE! The fan just not fanning so it BURN. But since I won't have enough time if I start writing this post in the afternoon so... it's my fault to blame. ( I wasted 2 days to make this post, all in the noon. My mind has now gone crazy and bees are flying circles over my head )

But anyway, just wanna say, thank you thank you, ILY~

#ensemble stars #amagi rinne #rinne amagi #rinniki #niki shiina #shiina niki #crazy:b #Honeycomb summer analysis #honeycomb summer

[lunart-06]

Good day, I have a request to make regarding your current ao3 that you wrote.

Ok imma stop with the fancy English. I read your ao3 titled "there was nothing left for me" and absolutely adored it so I want to ask if you could write a good ending.

Like when izuru was outside talking about how unpredictable the ocean is and no amount of luck will ever bring makoto back, immediately he said that, up in the sky, is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! Its a heavily damaged helicopter hurdling towards him at mach 4. The helicopter crashes right next to him with rubble from the helicopter flying everywhere without hitting him. His curiosity gets the best of him and you'll never guess what he finds inside. A very beaten up and bloody scars makoto who looks like his on the brink of death.

That was the idea I've been brainstorming ever since I finished ur fic. So thanks for reading and incase u actually take this into consideration (I'll be very glad if u do) please take your time I don't mind waiting

(Ur fic has done crazy stuff to me like once in every 10 scenario sessions I have it's based on this fanfic Thank you so much for writing it)

ARCK TY SM!!!! That fic was the only thing that made me feel like I can't possibly write anything close to that quality anymore and needed to get more deeply into my zone but I'm glad you liked it!!!

And for the ending, it was extremely inte ded for me to make a very open-like kinda ending to ensure something like these! You can imagine ANY scenarios regarding of what happened and with the kind of ending I go for COULD lead to tons of possibilities!

It could be Kamukura destroying the foundation and still feeling empty inside, or who knows maybe he find Makoto's coffin while at it? Or maybe Makoto is *still* alive yet just wandering aimlessly after escaping and tricking everyone of his death? Who knows who knows, that's what fun about them!

And to indulged in your one of many scenarios of ending for this fic.

Kamukura wouldn't pay attention to anything else, as said, the agonizing turmoil crashing on everything he had build up for. But he *does* aware of the sound above him, and just like that his ultimate talents switched without command and stood aside a few good feet away, in a certain spot, as a vehicle crash down next to him.

I don't believe Makoto could even still be standing after surviving an execution from *Munakata* of all things, that man won't let him breath. So in this case, some of his other friends and sister had helped him out of the dire situation. Judging from Byakuya's scowl towards Hagakure it seems that it was the teller's responsibility in controlling the helicopter, but knowing Byakuya's distrust over something so life-threatening to someone like Hagakure, it seem he was suppose to be temporarily held control over it until some *bad luck* happened.

Toko was there, Komaru was there, Byakuya left his knot tying rushed to go over to Hagakure, leaving the body—

The body that was still moving. *breathing*. Though shallow and slow, definitely in pain, slightly trembles perhaps from the large injuries and the shock from literally falling from the sky. The sight of it managed to make Kamujura's skin pricked, muscles tightening, and eyes frozen to one sight of one subject. Komaru calling onto the body she held is when Kamukura can feel the freezing water washed over him and wiped the toxins in every parts of his molecules.

"Makoto please hang on—"

Makoto. He can see it clearly now, the messy hair of brown with strands sticking out in multiple places, damped with sweat, paler than necessary to be consider healthy, the while shirt soaked with red, his whole figure is writhing as if cold and taking shallow breath as if drowning, he couldn't see the calming olive eyes when the lids clenched shut, eyebrows pinching together closely that the skin wrinkles, his teeth grits and released from pain and to breath, holding onto the major blow of the injuriy that could have really taken his life dearly.

"Kamukura?" The sister called out, and for once, he paid attention, "please— please, help him– help my brother please, h-he's—"

He doesn't let her finished before his whole body moved in instinct, swiftly picking the deathly cold body that's far more than Kamukura's own, and as he made contact with Makoto, he can feel multiple talents surge through him all at once; ultimate hunter checking any possible threat on his surroundings, ultimate bodybuilder to properly hold Makoto without shaking too much of his injuries, ultimate medic to check anymore major wound aside from the one Makoto covered.

And when Makoto finally squint an eye opened to stare directly on Kamukura's clouded crimson ones, smiling in a shaky manner with a relief undertone (for once, Kamukura *understood* that. Instead of *knowing*), he spoke, in an exhale, his voice whispered; "I..... tol' you.. that I'll–.... be......back..—"

And ultimate runner to quickly take Makoto back to the base of the island.

#danganronpa #lunar ask yippe #kamuegi #a helicopter falling casually like that seems very breaking the ambience but #I have a feeling that theres some way to make that work #then fucking it up from giggling too much #I need to be very sad to write this!!!! to get into it #so I'll leave it just that

[missvelvetsstuff]

Guarded Heart

Bucky Barnes x Reader

MobAu

Summary: Y/N is the daughter of a powerful mob boss who only cares about her horses and making it to the Olympics but her father expects her to marry an equally powerful boss to help strengthen his business. Bucky is looking for a wife to help his business but already has a long term girlfriend, Natasha.

Chapter 19

Notes: I've been struggling with this chapter after having the brilliant idea of reader suggesting she could be bait with no follow up or plan in my head. So I had to come up with something. Sometimes this 'fly by the seat of my pants' writing style bites me in that same seat. *shrugs* Iyam what Iyam.

A little basic but, yeah. Hope it doesn't suck.

"You should use me as bait."

"BAIT!!? Are you insane"

"Bait? Oh Hell no!"

"What? Not a chance"

"Y/N dear, I don't think that's a good idea"

Bucky, Sam and Steve all shouted at the same time. While George tried to stay calm and not escalate the tension in the car.

Sam almost lost control of the SUV.

Bucky shook his head, fists clenched "No. Absolutely not. No fucking way. What the Hell are you thinking? We are not putting you at risk. No."

George tried to be more diplomatic "Y/N, honey I understand wanting to handle this personally but there has to be a better way."

Y/N rolled her eyes "Don't you get it Bucky, I'm always at risk and I'd rather go down fighting than hiding and hoping it doesn't come to me..

Ok, so it's more like a distraction than bait. Zemo already said that I was what he wanted. I can play along, I know his weaknesses. Keep him distracted while the rest of you-"

Steve tried to reason with her "Come on, Y/N, think logically. You might be able to distract him but if he suspects anything you are in no shape for a real fight. You're still healing and when you are ready you'll have to relearn how to fight with and without a prosthetic. Plus you've been running on minimal sleep and food for days, your balance and strength will be off."

She scoffed "I don't need permission from any of you."

Bucky tried to keep himself from losing it "Why didn't you bring this up when we were all together working on a plan? Why wait until after we left?

Maybe because you know that Loki would never go for it. You knew every person there would have fought you. If they hadn't we would have taken that 4 hours of planning on a different strategy. There's no way to change the plan now, there are men already headed into the mountains. We would have problems contacting them to change everything so would be short on men to protect you at your house"

She raised an eyebrow "You think so? Loki's not in charge of me either. Y'all can try to stop me but I've made my mind up." She tried to soften her approach

"It's an old house and I grew up there. I know all the secret passages and how to get around quietly. And where my father hid weapons and how to engage his booby traps. He was always prepared for an attack. That's why he survived as long as he did." She choked back a sob.

Bucky shook his head "Look doll, I know that you are smart and very capable but this is too dangerous. You are not at your best and there's no way I can protect you if you let him get to you."

She scowled at him "I don't need you to protect me. I told you before, I'm not some shrinking violet who depends on a man.

Bluster all you like, it's all hot air to me."

Steve tried again, pleading "Y/N, please. Be reasonable. We are just trying to keep you safe."

"Keep me safe?" She spat at him "You men keep promising to keep me safe but none of you can. I'm the one who keeps losing in this bullshit game and I'm tired of trusting anyone else with my safety." She sat back "I'm going to do what I need to do to end this."

She paused and looked Bucky in the eyes, pleadingly "Look, I go to my house, alone. Well just me and Pietro since I can't really drive but anyways we get word out that you and I split again, I caught you with Yelena or something, and I went back home alone, in a fit, tired of hiding and being surrounded by guards. Zemo won't be able to resist, he always said my penchant for drama would come back on me so he gets to gloat when he thinks he has me. Pietro and I take him down and offer terms for his men.

I'm not stupid, I know I'm not in great shape but I can seduce him into letting his guard down." She softened "And if I fail it's only my life on the line not all of you."

The men were all speechless, struggling to come up with an argument that she would listen to but still had nothing when they arrived at the Barnes townhouse.

Y/N was out her door as soon as the SUV stopped and stomped her way up to Bucky's room.

Bucky tried to follow her but she locked the door so he tried knocking "Y/N, doll, please don't shut me out. I want to help if you'll let me."

"Go. Away."

"Please doll?"

She opened the door "are you willing to let me help get Zemo?"

Bucky shook his head "If we could wait till you were healthier, sure but not now. You wouldn't have a chance against him."

She stomped on the foot he wedged in the door, slammed and locked it before he dealt with the pain in his foot.

"Ouch! Dammit Y/N! Open this door!" He limped away "Fucking willful woman" and grumbled his way down the stairs, wondering when she put boots on.

When he arrived in the living room he sat on the couch, took his shoe off and rubbed his foot. He looked up when he heard laughter.

Steve couldn't help himself and tried to stop laughing which only made it worse. He sat next to him and slapped Bucky on the shoulder "I guess it didn't go so well, huh?" When Bucky didn't respond "You alright there punk?"

Bucky shoved him off the couch "Just peachy, jerk."

Y/N paced the room, infuriated by the Barnes men refusal to involve her in the takedown of Helmut Zemo.

She raged to herself about what stupid, sexist men they were, all while pushing down the voice that told her they were right. She knew she needed to heal physically and emotionally but didn't care anymore as long as she could punish those who had wronged her.

When she caught Zemo with that girl it broke her heart, she thought they had something real. Then he had to humiliate her on top of it but she chose, at the time to walk away from him instead of looking for revenge. Obviously that was a mistake since he teamed with her families enemies to try to take them down. They failed but had cost her so much she couldn't just sit here while the men went to take care of her problems.

After a while of pacing and swearing, trying to figure out how to get away from the Barnes and get to Zemo when something clicked. She smiled to herself, it was perfect and simple.

When Winnie called everyone to dinner Y/N came down and sat to eat next to Wanda and Pietro, quietly discussing something the others couldn't hear. When Winnie asked after her she told her she was just tired and angry at everything.

Y/N stood when she finished eating "I just want to apologize for my outburst earlier. I'm sick and tired and angry with no way to express it. I'm going up to relax with some music. Wanda can you help me change please?"

Wanda nodded and followed her upstairs. Pietro went up shortly after, promising to keep an eye on her.

At the table Bucky felt a little better but was still worried about her mental and physical health and promised himself he would take care of Zemo then take her on vacation if she would let him.

Everyone found a spot to try and catch a bit of sleep before the drive to the mountains.

When Bucky woke at 1am he started some coffee and went to take a cold shower to wake himself up. Realizing he needed clean clothes he headed for his room as quietly as possible and opened the door only to do a double take when he realized the bed and the room were empty. Then his brain caught up, Pietro and Wanda were gone as well. He swore

"Fuck." Then yelled "FUCK!" and started banging on doors to wake everyone up. Steve came out of his room rubbing his eyes "Hey jerk, its only 1, we have 2 more hours and-"

"Goddammit Steve, she's gone! Y/N left with Pietro and Wanda." Then his phone dinged, a text with blueprints for her house including everything she had mentioned. Bucky showed his phone to Steve.

Steve's eyes grew wide "Fuck.

Chapter 20

@bigphattygyal @cjand10 @lokiandbuckysdoll

@kimomoraba @avery199 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @esposadomd

@sebsgirl71479 @calwitch

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #mob!au #arranged marriage #guarded heart

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

tw this is a trauma post but it's also a narrative I'm proud of. Suicide and self harm (mental and physical) will be mentioned.

To help those who aren't me understand, I think in part in references since it is both easier and more fun than creating original thoughts.

(1): reference to the videogame Omori

(2): reference to the movie The Dark Knight (take a guess as to why I like and relate to the joker)

(3): reference to a song I like (in order, HOPE by NF, Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park, Love the Subhuman Self by AISHA, Arc System Works, and Jamison Boaz)

(4): a random saying I heard and enjoyed

“No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes. No one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies”

“Behind blue eyes” by The Who

Welcome to the nonsensical abyss of my mind, you've been here as long as you can remember (1). By reading this you're getting to see my thoughts without translation. Nothing here makes sense to anyone except me, I make references others rarely understand. But allow me to tell the story of how what you see now came to be. You wanna know how I got these scars (2)? “I spent years of my life holdin’ on to things I never should've kept, full of hatred, years of my life wishin I was someone different looking for some validation.” (3)

Middle school was a special sort of subtle hell for me, it stole things without me noticing. First it was my feeling of impervious safety when a kid laughed at a genuine heartfelt remark I made. Then it was my trust that friends would never betray me and always respect me when they wouldn't stop making jokes at my expense. Slowly, steadily I descended into paranoia and loneliness, and thus my contentedness with life was stolen. The ax forgets yet the tree never does(4).

A secret hidden issue that I only found out this year was that the ADHD meds I needed to take to function may have been causing the paranoia to start with. I still don't know how to feel about that, that all my issues and trauma might stem from something that's not even real.

Once I started high school it became more and more apparent that nobody liked me. At least not for very long. I never learned to function in middle school so I was still struggling with what everyone else already knew and mastered. Giving a compliment and sexual harassment, would you like to know the difference? I would've but nobody told me until after I'd been punished.

Intent vs impact, I never intended to hurt anyone yet my impact was that I did more often than not. So I cut off the things that hurt people, removed them from my mind. Who needs humor? Not me if I can't use it right. Who needs to give compliments? Not me if I can't say it right. Who needs to hug people to show affection because it's your primary love language and you want to show everyone how much you like and appreciate them? …… not me…. if I must…. to not hurt them…

You see where my inner pain starts now? Where the scars in my mind begin? There were two things I could never bear to cut and slice away, my name and my kindness. Most trans people change their names to align more with their gender but I decided no. I am done changing things for other people to accept me more, they never do. My name is Daniel and it's the sum of my entire being. If I am non-binary, or a woman, or some eldritch horror that everyone fears and that has lost every shred of humanity because of the things I've endured, then my name represents all of that. It's not my issue if people make a poor assumption about my name because of what they think it should be.

Maybe I don't even want to be human anymore if all that humans have shown me is hate. All throughout high school it was nothing but hate or dislike shown to me, barely any kindness outside of my family. So I isolated myself from everyone, to avoid those who hated and to not burden my family with my issues. I'd handle it by myself like I always had in the past and I'd be ok.

I was not ok.

I was rageful. I was tearing myself apart more and more and more internally, only my desire to never hurt anyone kept me from tearing the school down brick by brick with all the students inside it. But maybe… could it be I was the exception and the problem? Could it be I'm the one who deserves to hurt for the pain I've caused? Should I hurt myself? And so I tried once, a good solid punch to the forehead that didn't make me feel any better and never tried again.

The pain I deserved wasn't physical, it was mental and so I gave myself infinite mental pain. What an idiot I was for giving that compliment when clearly in retrospect it was sexual harassment, what a dumbass I was for saying that joke, looking back I deserve to lose my entire friend group over it. Maybe I'd be better off if I didn't exist anymore if I caused more harm than good and could never seem to learn or improve. The thoughts I had then… and sometimes still now… it's so hard to remember that looking into the past makes everything obvious in the worst ways possible…

But there was a light eventually, someone who told me all that was wrong. Someone I met online and will never see in person, someone I messed up horribly with and yet she still forgave me. Thank you infinitely June. You showed me that monsters can be good.

So I steeled my resolve and used my rage at myself to look inward and outward and found that I was being mistreated and misunderstood. I shouldn't kill myself to not exist or hurt people because I would improve and I could make others improve. So I stood at the very last meeting in front of the whole school and spoke the truth of my mind with as much respect and rage as I could muster. So much pain and anger and hate and sadness I'd endured and I showed all of it to the entire high school of 300 people.

I've never felt more satisfied in my life than when the headmaster of the school himself asked if there was anything he could do for me and I said no. I've never felt more proud when I met with him two days later and asked for a neurodivergent support group to be created for the middle and high school, and he said yes. Half a year later my brother told me that the headmaster stuck to his word and did more than I asked. I never felt more vindicated than when I was told by my only friend that he'd heard people making school shooter jokes after I stood up and told my story.

And so I started to heal. My humor, I did need that. How could I be happy if I could never make myself laugh? My desire to give joy and be kind, I needed that. How could I not fulfill the purpose in life I'd made for myself? My ability to hug and love and be happy with others, I needed that. Desperately. “I want to heal, I want to feel what I thought was never real, like there was somewhere I belong.”(3) I just needed to find better people who understood. I reconnected with my family and told my pain and tried in every possible way to show how sorry and sad I was for cutting them off. I couldn't stitch the old bits back onto me but maybe I could grow something new. Something I wanted and I loved, for me.

I can never fully heal, that's why you see the holes in my form, but I've incorporated them now, so that they help me as much as they hurt. I carry on and love my subhuman self, accept me for me and go back to being with humans (3). I give them the kindnesses I can but only after I do that for myself. This is the kindness and respect I give to me, the biggest change I made, because I deserve it as much as everyone else. Now close your eyes and you'll leave this dream (1).

“But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be.”

Behind Blue Eyes by the Who

[ineffable-hyperfixation]

If you people don't start reblogging art (and writing!!!) I'm gonna start biting you

Look at this shit

These are the top 4 today, LESS THAN HALF of the people who liked it have reblogged. That first one especially makes me want to chew glass

Oh! But those are in the top today! So surely everyone will see them!? No?? A lot of people don't go into the tags! And also think how many more people would see them! You can only like something once! Even if every one of those only had 1 follower that's still roughly 300 more eyes on the work!!

But those are new, you say. Surely the older stuff isn't like this? Incorrect! Let's sort by top of the last year

TRAVESTY *bops you all with a newspaper* that last one is one of my all time favorites (I'm going to list them in a reblog, because I know sometimes too many links kills a post) it's an amazing piece of art and look how little love it has

It has FOUR TIMES more likes than reblogs???? Think how many people could've seen this artist's amazing work!

Excuses I see:

It won't fit my blog: a) you can make multiple blogs! This is my side blog, I made it in October, tagged things appropriately (used the good omens tag for a bit, I've dropped it now since), and have gained a nice handful of followers! That wasn't the point but I'm glad you're all here (hai!)

b) it's your blog! Use it how you want to!! "Oh people will unfollow me!" this isn't the I have followers klout website. This is the have fun and hope you can make someone else's day fun in the process website. If it sparks joy, reblog it!

I don't wanna upset op with spam: that does not happen here. Artists, writers, and bloggers love seeing you. Go nuts

Reblogging is time consuming: you can quick reblog (on mobile hold down on the reblog button and swipe up to the blog you want, sorry idk how on computer but I know you can) reblogging is only time consuming if you want to comment or tag. If you're willing to leave a reply you should have time to reblog! (Commenting and replying both have their place, it's ok to reply only while still reblogging!!)

Tagging things intimidates me: people carry on entire conversations in the tags, people leave the wildest shit as tags, people have confusing tags to organize their blogs, people leave absolutely no tags at all! You do not have to tag things!!

I have my likes turned on so people can see: you look like a bot, stop that. Empty blogs get blocked! I'm begging some of you to please reblog something. No one goes straight to people's blogs to look exclusively at their stuff (....ok well some people do but most people just scroll their dash)

Likes are bookmarks! That's it! Or a way to interact with some random thing someone said about their day that you can tell they don't necessarily need reblogged. This isn't twitter, where (apparently?) reblogging something is kinda frowned upon. This isn't instagram where likes mean everything. This is Tumblr, and it survives on reblogs!

#good omens #good omens 2 #gomens #good omens fanart #good omens fanfic #stay tuned for the links lol #REBLOG THEM #oh and please know this isn't meant to sound lecturing #just incredibly desperate lmao

[guardian5tiger3]

Karma/the consequences of their actions.

Tarot Reading + intuitive/channeled messages.

Pick a group

1 2

3 4

Group one

I wonder if you guys believe in and are heavy on law of three. Either way it is in effect here. It's definitely coming back something like three times the damage they've done. So you l can imagine how rough that's gonna be for this person. If they try to fight it it's gonna get worse. This person got themselves in some sort of trap.they might have or will embarrass themselves in some type of love situation. Then they're gonna have to leave that situation or did , looking like a dumbass.at least to themselves. Nobody else might care, really. Depends on the individual here. Some are going to get ridiculed, others nobody effing cares. Lol. But they feel embarrassed regardless. They care too much about themselves and they have too much pride and ego. They might even do something to try to fix whatever embarrassed them and defend themselves somehow or show off or something like that. So you guys can imagine this is also going to trip them the heck up right? I'm getting the vibe of like someone just fucking shit up and the rest of the room is silent like , why are you having a meltdown right now it wasn't that serious. So, .... Wow....I actually don't see this person getting exposed for some type of negative or even evil way that they've been. Them on the inside, right. Whatever they've maybe done or said or if they keep it to themselves completely. I guess the universe is picking this path because it's going to lead them down the longest line of just complete bullshit sort of similar to what I've been trying to express, them just stuck in cobwebs or mud or something trying to get out but then therefore making it worse. Ok I'm thinking of quick sand. Haha. Yeah this person is gonna have some red in the face moments in the future. They seem like there's some chill people around them possibly. And observant. Someone might catch this person while they're talking and call them out and it just might really put them in the spot embarrass the shit out of them . Ha

Group two

Present or future. The only thing this person seems to know is that they're clueless and everything for them sucks. Someone could literally go blind so that's not even funny. But most of you this person just doesn't seem to know anything about anything. So I can see how that would be intimidating or scary to them. Maybe one or two of you a coma or it's a threat right now if they keep up the bullshit and drama. I don't think it has to end up that serious though. This person is being blinding so that 1. They can't stop their lives from going to shit in all the ways they'll get karma, maybe extreme poverty or something ? 2. So that they can't continue doing other things to other people. I heard harassment. This person is awful. I think they're worse than you realize. I think they put up a front or draw out emotions to manipulate people into thinking they're better than just horrible but they're even more horrible for doing that. It's like this person knew or knows that this can only end badly whatever they've been doing. And yet they decided then therefore to just cause as much havok as they can and still be secretive somehow I feel, about it before this inevitable ending took place. If their old this could be death not gonna lie. Or just getting too old to participate. But if their young take it how it fits. If it's some type of character they put on, they knew it wouldn't last forever. This person is already miserable, and their kinda slimy. I think their karma is worse or some of you got this far I sense that some of you this person you're thinking of is not that bad but I think the few of you I'm talking about you kind of already know that. I see this person falling. I think they have to be forced to fall into their own mind , heart and soul and deal with whatever has made them the negative way they are. Yikes.

Group three

This person seems to almost get away with things. I just know that's frustrating.either they seem to have a growing and positive future or outcome , or you do and they've tried or are trying to attack that. They could be or have tried to steal something in regards to your future. Or they just tried to knock you down so you'd be guaranteed to lose. I think they are or are going to end up seeing who they're dealing with. You guys almost are coming off to me like statues . In a good way! . Like, unfazed. At least deep down you're unharmed. And standing strong in your power. Like maybe you just move on and your cool but to them it's like they have to face you. This could also be them having to face some power, some thing, situation, or even a fucking entity. This person is power hungry and to have to face something or someone that is clearly more powerful than them is seemingly horrifying , to them . I don't even think you guys perceive yourself or realize anybody else could the way they do or are about to. I'm getting a lot of white . Like all four cards about this are pretty much all white. It's kind of like, how are you untainted ,unfazed, but the reason they are the way they are is because something similar destroyed them right. So they just do that to other people. You're clearly stronger than them because you overcame it and are powerful after doing so, like they were not strong enough to do. It's kind of like this person saw a ghost. For some of you this could be a guide of yours doing this to them if not you, or even then being intimidated by a judge or official of some sort . Something. But they are or will be scared. I'm telling you. This could be multiple maybe you and your guide or your guide and a police officer or you and a judge. I don't know. They may try to or have started to go on with their life after doing the same wicked shit they've done but they seem like eventually , they've been walking in a forest right, and they've continuously tripped on things as a warning. Then I see them eventually falling into a bottomless pit. Sooo . Yikessss

Group four

This person either left you hanging somehow, or ended something. Or left you hanging and you had to do something by yourself. Something like this ok. I don't think they helped or are helping as much as they could or did. This could be some heartbreak for you because you might have had a lot of wishful thinking about this person. Maybe you imagined things going or becoming very good and positive with them. Maybe you went through hard times and in that they eventually just left or opted out somehow or didn't do enough to help you right and meanwhile you were thinking how good things will be when they get better or something like that. Maybe this person also led you on somehow. Overall you were let down by this person or people right. Whatever ending or something bad that happened to you is going to either effect them or something very similar will happen to them .looks like currently or in the past they've had people they can turn to. Maybe just friends to help them out. They were or are confident they can do no wrong and they can live their lives however they want with no consequences or regard for how they make other people feel. This person might end up with a kid or maybe they have one or someone they know does or will. Or maybe they left you with a kid.i can't even really pick up on this person's consciousness. Like I'm sort of confused. If they are extremely undeveloped or what. Maybe they dont really experience much as in they don't have much of an inner world. I'm thinking about someone going under amnesia. I don't really fully know what's going on here in all honesty but you live and you learn, I guess. Life is a short trip so take it easy, and do take care of yourself. My best guess is that this person actually sold their souls but that's not for every single person here.

#free tarot readings #pac reading #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarot reading #pick a card #tarot pac #intuitive messages #free intuitive readings #tarot pick a card #pick a photo #pick a gif

[cupcakesandteawrites]

Steve couldn’t quite remember if it was the second or third concussion when he started to lose his sight he just remembers things got harder to read, things became blurred and he had to hold things closer to his face in order to see them better. It wasn’t until he had to stop driving outside of daylight hours that he finally relented.

That and Robin shouting at him. 

"Steven James Harrington you can't see! I've had to correct 3 errors in the last hour that you made on the system! You need to get them tested." Robin implored. 

“Fine, I’ll call them and set up an appointment for as soon as possible ok” he grumbled in reply. 

He knew he needed to get his eyes looked at but with that and his failing hearing and therefore a need for hearing aids he was just very self conscious over them. What if he needed really big glasses? How would he look with those on? He couldn’t really express this to Robin who would just call him vain and that he put too much stock in how others saw him. 

A few days later his fears were confirmed. He needed glasses. No surprises there. He just had to find some frames he liked and then wait for them to be done. 

“Can I help you or are you ok choosing your own frames today?” a voice asked and oh, wasn’t that voice just lovely. Smooth but had something playful behind it. Steve looked in the direction of the voice but the person was standing too far away for him to make out much beyond his height, build and the fact he had long hair. 

“Yeah, I’d like some help please” Steve replied, he would have been fine without the help but he really wanted to keep this stranger around longer. “Let’s start with a budget shall we. Are we getting from the cheapest range or something more expensive?” The person asked. “Less than $200 ideally.” “Ok we can certainly work with that, hmmm let's have a look.” 

The guy passed Steve a set of frames and Steve put them on. They were thick framed and black. 

“What do you think? I can’t see myself that well” Steve laughed as he turned back from the mirror looking at the assistant.

“I think they cover too much of your face” The guy declared, holding his hand out for Steve to hand them back to him. 

“Some would say that's a good thing.” Steve joked. “Then send them our way” The guy chucked, handing Steve another set.

“How about these?” Steve asked. “They don’t quite show your eyes off, try these ones, i think these will be just right” The assistant said handing him a third pair. 

“Fuck” Steve heard whispered as he put the latest frames on. “I’m guessing by your reaction these are a hit” Steve winked. “Oh sweetheart you have no idea how good you look in them” The assistant basically purred.

“Guess I'll take them then” Steve shrugged, at least he was told he looked good in them. 

“Let's go and get you all checked out then.” The guy said, touching Steve's arm lightly to indicate that he should follow. “Is there anything else I can help you with today?” 

“You could give me your name, number and let me take you on a date?” Steve asked, shooting his shot.

“Hold on to that thought big boy, let's see if you feel the same when you can see me properly The names Eddie though, I always forget to tell people that” The guy laughed.

4 days later and Steve's phone was ringing.

“Steve speaking” he answered

“Hey, Stevie, it's Eddie. Your glasses are finally ready.” Eddie replied. “Great, I'll come and pick them up later then.” 

A few hours later Steve was trying on his new glasses with his prescription in. “Oh shit, I really was blind!” Steve gasped as he could finally see properly. He looked over and saw Eddie was standing a little away from him looking at him but holding his hair in front of his face. “Still think I look good in them?” Steve asked. “Yeah, yeah really good,” Eddie replied quietly. “Let's get you pick up paperwork all signed and you can head off” 

“Can I get your number and take you on a date now?” Steve asked, following Eddie to the desk.

“You’re ridiculous Stevie” Eddie laughed. “I’ll see you at home, yeah?”

“See you later baby, love you” Steve whispered leaning forward and kissing Eddie lightly before walking off. 

#eddie munson #fanfic #ficlet #steddie #steddie fandom #steddie fanfic #steve harrington #steve harrington & eddie munson #alternate universe #au fic #au gust 2023 #writing challenge #au gust #prompt list #my writing

[beautifulpersonpeach]

YES! BPP! YES! I KNEW YOU'D SHARE MY EXCITEMENT!!!! I don't know anyone in real life who is an army and shares my love for BTS' music and story, so it's so awesome to see a fellow enthusiast gush over such a stellar magnificent artist!!! Yoongi looks so in the zone on the stage. Like he can finally breathe again, like he has found himself again, like he is finding the meaning of his life over and over again. He looks so at home. It's mind boggling how at ease he is in front of 15k(?) ppl?? +

*

Ask 2: His command of the stage, much less the audience and his music, is impeccable. "Electric" is definitely the word for it. I mean how does he look more relaxed here than his variety/advertisement gigs!? The word natural comes to my mind but I know that's not quite it. It's like how gravity works, like how water flows. He just is. With his music. And I'm just in awe watching him, and thankful. Every time I look at them perform their music, my worry kinda vanishes and it's unbelievably addicting. +

*

Ask 3: Sorry! I thought I was done but I wasn't!!! Did you know that this is the VERY FIRST MINIMINI LIVE TOGETHER EVER!?!?@! Like what?!? But you know what that's ok cuz they were hilarious and lovely and made me so happy! lol Don't worry tannies, I'm confused about barking thingy, too. haha. Also did you see the crowd control wristband and the arena lightning colors (prudential was awful tho, UBS ftw!!)?? It has to be intentional, right? Along with that rainbow cake, everything is just chef's kiss

*

Ask 4: BPP, pretty pretty please can you try to describe Yoongi's music? What does he sound like to you?

***

Hi Anon(s),

Yoongi's music sounds like nothing I've heard anywhere else. Nobody, past or present, sounds like Yoongi.

But if I were to make a rough approximation, I'd say his sound is something close to if Hans Zimmer, Jimi Hendrix, Pop Smoke, and Andre 3000 had a four-way, with Eminem directing and filming the whole affair. The product of whatever that is, is kinda close to Yoongi's core soundscape. In my opinion. Yoongi too, more than any other member, loves infusing Korean texture, sounds, and proverbs, into his music and it’s something I really can’t get enough of. In terms of lyrical focus, he's similar to Kendrick Lamar, Lupe Fiasco, and Tablo. Also, from the way Yoongi makes music, you can tell that he plays musical instruments. Yoongi's songs are some of the most fun to play on guitar or keyboard/piano. If any of my followers play guitar, I'd like y'all to actually let me know if you've tried playing Amygdala, and tell me how you felt playing it. (You can DM me if you like.) The music Yoongi makes is angst, it's unapologetically emo, and I'm an emo girl who refuses to outgrow this phase. He makes music for people like me. People who want to scream "burn it!" on the disgusting beat he crafted from scratch. Yoongi makes music for carpenters, sluts, philosophers, queers, parents, rebels, misfits, for anybody who finds themselves caring too much about the world around them, and those who sometimes struggle to know themselves.

I'm just going to stop here because I can't do this. Writing about him is hard.

Let's just talk about how hot he is instead. :)

(Even his scars are pretty)

*

(…he deadass looks like that. In real life.)

*

(Yoongi’s vocal inflections fuck me up. By the way. He reveals what he is, every time he uses his tone to make his point. He reveals just how insane he is every time he does that. It drives me mad.)

*

(He likes to be tied and spanked fyi. He’s recently taken to pouting a lot too. And now barking apparently gets him excited. Any way you look at it, he’s trouble.)

*

(Yoongi is so beautiful.)

*

(Pretty)

*

(Cute)

*

Anon in ask 3, Yoonmin’s live was the cutest, sweetest, most wholesome and queer interaction I’d seen from the tannies in a good while. I love what they have. Jikook is jikook, but I mean, I actually bias Yoongi. Seeing how he is with Jimin, how he’s always been with Jimin, is impossible for me to ignore. It’s one reason I started paying attention to Jimin in the first place. Anyway, everything about their conversation - the way Yoongi introduced him, the Tony Montana sneak, their mutual barking, the smiles, jokes and stares, the cutting sarcasm and bickering rallies - I’d missed seeing that and I’m glad they shared that moment with us.

I’m really hoping Yoongi is able to keep his health up the whole tour. He goes all out 100% every time he’s on stage, and that would put a strain on even the most fit person alive. His shoulder surgery was ~3 years ago yeah, but he likely still does physical therapy, and excessive use during the tour could strain it again. My hope is for him to be healthy the whole time. And ARMYs who always show up for BTS, being there to be the energy he needs. He deserves all the support he gets.

#min yoongi #Yoongi #Suga #Agust d #d day tour #d day #kpop #BTS #yoonmin #jimin #park jimin

[sakebytheriver]

What do you see happening long term with the Hetty x Trevor pairing?

Oh gosh, long term? Idk bro 😭😭😭😭

I personally have no long term thoughts about these two, I think I've made my opinion on their relationship pretty clear, I have no romantic inclinations for their ship, I just want them to fuck nasty for centuries 😭

If I'm being asked to speculate on where the show might go with it as a person who knows how cheesy American sitcoms are usually written I would say the show has a few directions they can take this ship,

1. Nigel uses his newfound knowledge of their secret relationship to blackmail Hetty and try to get the upper hand in their newfound feud which ends with Hetty purposefully outing her relationship with Trevor to show to Nigel he has no power over her and then she and Trevor publically make an announcement that they are done hooking up and it was just an itch they needed to scratch, but then there's an end credit scene where they're hooking up again and are like 'so we're not stopping?' 'of course not' and then we don't hear about H-money for a while until it's needed for plot relevancy

2. Nigel uses his newfound knowledge to blackmail Hetty and she and Trevor fall in line for a while until Hetty stands up for herself and tells Nigel she doesn't care if he tells everyone she won't cow to his demands anymore and then Nigel looks like he's about to reveal to everyone else she and Trevor are together but instead he says something else and keeps the secret, because now he respects Hetty and actually likes her and this secret between them is what brings them together as friends and she and Trevor keep hooking up in secret and then she has gossip time with Nigel about it

3. Nigel is about to march straight up to Isaac right after he caught H-money in the act, but Hetty chases after him and convinces him to keep it a secret one way or another and throughout the episode it looks like he's going to reveal them at a bunch of different points just to mess with them and at the end of the episode Hetty confronts him and he's like 'i made a promise I'd never say anything doesn't mean I can't have fun with it tho' and then he cheekily grins before walking away and the episode ends

4. Nigel immediately reveals that they are hooking up to the entire house in an opening scene before the title card while Hetty tries to play it off that he's making it up because he wants to usurp her, but her and Trevor's protests just make the rest of the ghosts and Sam realize the truth before they all make a grossed out face and noise about it that Trevor gets offended by and then title card and the rest of the episode is the fallout from the H-money reveal

5. We hear nothing about H-money for like two episodes they don't mention Nigel's discovery until one episode it starts with Hetty and Nigel whispering to each other with her being like 'you swear youve told no one' and hes like 'of course i havent but i might' and they have a conversation that feels more like a battle of wits with how much they banter in old timey etiquette speak and then the A or B plot of that episode is Trevor and Hetty trying to figure out if Nigel will blow up their spot or not until eventually the two of them inadvertently just blow up their own spot and then Nigel gets a little comment to be like 'i caught them in the basement two nights ago and she threatened me not to tell' tattle moment that just makes the fallout for H-money worse until eventually the whole house is like actually it's ok with us if you wanna keep hooking up we accept you and then Trevor and Hetty are like 'so we can keep hooking up without keeping it secret' 'does that kinda kill the heat?' 'oh my gosh yes it does' 'oh good thought it was just me, so friends?' 'friends' and then they shake hands and walk seperate ways and stop hooking up only for it to be mentioned as off hand jokes in later episodes and seasons

And I'm gonna stop making predictions now, I could keep going on and on about sitcom tropes with secret relationships, but I think 5 scenarios is enough for now 😭😭😭😭😭😭

#ignore me #hetty x trevor #trevor hetty #hetty woodstone #trevor lefkowitz #ghosts cbs #hetty trevor #minors dni

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

I mean, given that P5D flopped and Atlus stopped making dancing games but kept/keeps on making P5 spinoffs I'm doubtful that Atlus would make tactics games whether P5T does good or bad (plus I feel like its every other time I hear about it I hear a persona fan mentioning they're not a fan of tactics games so it's def not just a thing on this blog)

Hahahaaaaaa......yeah............

Tbf I don't see a REASON for a dancing game atm. That's more of a game to celebrate the music (or throw it in the trash and set it on fire like P5D did, RIP to P5D you shouldn't have come out when you did)

Also tbf PQ2 didn't sell THAT much better (I think the sales were fairly within what Atlus is/was used to tho? only like 20000 less....then again that might've been OLD data I was looking at). And there hasn't been a Q game since....but tbf Atlus isn't popping them out AS FAST as when they were having their P4 era. (we almost got like 3 games in one year? TT0TT god everything was moving so fast in that era)

Probably cause of quality contr-I can't even finish that sentence.

Ahem. Probably cause of scope maybe.........except PQ2 was roughly the same story length as PQ1......or at least ONE SIDE of a PQ1 playthrough (tho some bits of PQ1 did repeat on each side, A LOT didn't). (there's also the fact they released it on a dying/dead console ahhhhhh, unrelated to scope but still TT0TT)

Uhhhh ummmmm, oh! P3/5D! Right- no I notoriously lambast them for CUTTING content that a single P4D could handle. Half the "story" and less songs. (of course this is considering P3D, P5D, and P4D all separate games on their own....which they are....and were sold as...................separate games......full price....games.....)

Ok ok Strikers! Yes Strikers. That had the scope that matched/exceeded Arena/Ultimax.... at least story wise. But....no one talks about Strikers for some reason. I thought y'all where hyped??????? It seemed to have sold well, but I dunno if that means it's liked..... (I have a VERY small sample size, but outside myself, all the people I've talked to IRL said they hated P5S TT0TT)

Wait why am I bringing this up? Maybe it's cause I miss the P4 era. TT0TT ajfksjf;d

Oh! No no, it's that, P5S is like the most successful P5 spinoff imo (didn't look at the sales but I think it might be the best selling Persona spinoff in general)....but we also haven't had a P5S2, or DLC for it (surprisingly/unfortunately), or another Persona game just like it (like P1S or Raidou S or yadda yadda).

That being said.......P5S was made with another company so....yeah...... that could be why jfsdljafdsakj

Unlike P5S, Dancing and Qs are made in house, P5T is too? I haven't been paying attention. TT0TT It could be they are just focused on T and...."Asa"? and P3R and/or something else. So that could explain the lack of another dancing game (or Q). Plus, again, the dancing games are more of a celebration. I can see a P5D2 happening as we get closer to P6 tbh (if not a P3/4/5D PS5+others port). (and I'm sure they are figuring out how to port Q to other places now they don't have the dual screen). I dunno, this part went on longer than I thought @_@ Just woke up and I'm rambly sorry

I mean Atlus has had the chance to do another Tactics game for years with the DeSu franchise, and those aren't even connected/have to be connected in a single timeline! And people are still waiting on 3! TT0TT So yeah I can see them just dropping it orz

(Yeah I've asked others IRL and they weren't exactly excited either TT0TT Tbh as long as I get another version of this artstyle again I'm fine with that, doesn't need to be a Tactics game.)

#'silly dont you hate most of P5's music' I do. Most of it tbh but Ive always stuck by the fact P5D was released TOO EARLY #Sure base P5 had the most songs on its OST but it had no spinoffs at the time (P5D WAS THE FIRST SPINOFF TT0TT) the anime was still airing! #it was doomed from the get-go and that's a shame for the fans orz #p3/5d should've been released after P3R tbh at least with how all this stuff is panning out #silly answers #silly asks #P4 manga is better than the anime anyway #'you didnt smear p5x' i'm biased......jfksajf jk it's also not technically fully out yet last time i checked either #i dunno why I went on for so long lkjfdskjfa gotta wake up! TT0TT

[arcorin]

@love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward i ended up making a post because i felt like i wrote way too much and it would be unreadable in dm 😅 (this is @lucian-evander btw )

Ok that's the moment i realise i haven't noted anything and so aren't 100% sure about the timeline 😅

So i had my first injection of 0,4 ml of androtardyl (250mg/ 1ml ) february 6th and stayed on that dosage every 4 weeks until half may, my doctor made me do a whole check up beforehand like my blood levels and hormones levels to check there weren't any contraindications.

The things that changed : First thing that happened is bottom growth in the first few days like right the day after my first injection, it was not uncomfortable just something i was aware of specially the few first days i think it stopped growing like maybe two weeks after ? It was something i was scared of because like i've read about the uncomfort and wasn't really something i wanted in the first place but i was actually ok with it when it happened and idk if it makes sense but it felt natural (i kinda thought the concept was weird before tbh). I didn't really feel anything else until the first month (which made me paranoid af about if my injection happened btw like a part of me was surprised i didn't feel the t running in my veins i guess 😂🤦🏻‍♂️ ) and then got like 4/5 days of hot flashes during the nights which were incredibly annoying ngl but then it passed (kinda like people going through menopause) . Also gained some belly weight at this point which surprised me because weight redistribution isn't supposed to happen that fast and my chest got more saggy, got used to it now but i kinda freaked out by how fast it changed . Oh also my skin was super dry at this point that was not the best part . At one month the acne went back i had a lot of it during the first puberty and kinda expected it, just the first time my skin was super oily and this time it's super dry but kinda grainy and testosterone is supposed to do the contrary ? At this point my hairline started changing but like not the front recessing i saw everyone talking about but hair growing on the back sides ? Which is something i did not expect at all. Hair also was growing on the tights and knees (the rest of my legs were already hairy af so it didn't make much difference) which was something that took place in the 2/3 months on t too . Some fuzz on the face too starting by the sideburns and the chin (it's stills not much even now ) the mustache kinda darkened i think . 2/3 months on t i noticed i was less physically tired than before and working out was easier oh also my veins became more visible . My voice dropped (a little ) then too, i hear the difference more when i sing than when i talk tbh i think it's because i didn't really changed the way i talk and usually talks more with a head voice but now i can go way more in the low tones if i want to . Oh also at 3 months my adam apple was noticeable which is something i didn't know i would be so happy about (not me totally playing with it h24 ) , btw my neck is larger now i think same as my shoulders (my binders became too small and I didn't think of that 😭) and my face is more angular? That's something that happened very slowly . I changed my dosage to 0,3 every two weeks in may (no important reasons for the time change it was just so i could sync my injections with a friend , i learned to do them myself at this point and kinda proud of it, oh btw it hurts less than doing blood tests like it varies from one shoot to another but i didn't even feel the first one by example ) . After 3 months i didn't really feel big changes as much , arm muscles kept growing , acne is still there, some more hair is slowly growing on my shoulders, chest and arms , i guess my voice is still dropping a little and facial hair is slowing growing too i mean it's supposed to take time anyway so i'm ok with that (i also stopped looking for changes everyday in the mirror like i did the first months 😂) . I did a blood test every 3 months to check my level of red blood cells and other blood checks and they were good so i think i'll high up my dosage to 0,4 every two weeks .

For the things i have no idea if they changed or not : the mental part (i was really scared of that ) well i can't really tell you because i'm not someone very emotionally stable in the first place and these last months have been absolutely crazy for reasons unrelated to hormones so i really have no idea what's related to it or not since i can't really know how it would have been if i wasn't on t you know ? i just can say it's been a month i've been back to exactly in the same place emotionally as i was like last October so i don't think hrt plays much of a role in that . Also totally unrelated but sweat is supposed to change of smell but since i started to shower three more times than before due to uuuh being touch starved and trying to boil myself i'm actually less smelly than before so idk if it changed

Now for the stuff that didn't change (and i expected it that way) : i know people said it changed their capacity to cry it didn't change anything for me but like i already cried like maybe once a year so yeah . I didn't change my diet i just was more hungry the 2/3 first months then it went back to normal . No increased sweating but then again i already sweated a lot before . No libido increase same reason than the last one

For the weird stuff that was supposed to be the contrary : so before i used to feel constantly too hot and my body was always boiling like it could be 2° outside and i would be in t-shirt complaining about how it was too hot and my trans friends used to tease me about how when i'll be on t i'll just combust because it's supposed to make you even less sensitive to the cold (in the contrary of the oestrogens) but like now for the first time in my life i actually feel normally the weather ? Like i'm cold when it's cold ? And my body temperature became moderated ? Very wtf

Anyway now i'm 6 months on t and i don't regret it and i got used to the changes i didn't like at first and the most annoying part like hot flashes and too dry skin are over so that's good . I was scared of changes in themselves even the ones i wanted before starting it before well i struggle with changes in general but most of them happened gradually enough (btw if you want to slow down changes you can just low dose and increase it very slowly kinda like it would do in a cis puberty )

I probably forgot some stuff so if you have specific questions please ask, i'm ok with answering to pretty much anything .

#i hope this is at least a little readable 😅 i guess i could have organized the infos better 😅 sorry #also hope it wasn't too tmi

[natrome]

ok now that i for real know what my writing commitments are going to be for the next, like, year, at least the majority of them, here is the actual for real i s2g hold me to this writing schedule

Fic in a Box - due 10/15

1 assignment of 2k words remains, write it this saturday

Five Figure Fanworks Exchange - check in 11/11, due 1/20

i expect this will take about a week to finish, and ideally i'll have it done prior to check-in.

Yuletide - works due 12/18

UNLESS i get an assignment that i want to go hogwild on, which i should be prevented from doing, i should be able to finish this the week of 11/26 and not work on it outside of that.

galactic santas - est. due 12/25

my fave event of the year lol, the logh secret santa exchange. uh anyway this one is usually due around christmas and also is the easiest thing on this list by a mile and a half. i'm 0% worried about this one.

tomorrow ye will get your pay - aka the whale novel. - first draft due 3/1, physical product due for display 4/1

this is an extremely short timeline, and while it's not "drop everything else" level short, it is going to have to be my #1 writing priority for a long time.

my plan is as follows

spend the remainder of october getting situated w/ the research i'm going to have to do, figuring out who i need to talk to, etc. as well as put together a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline

nov/dec i'm assuming will be eaten by SMST and other commitments, but get research done and essentially braindump into document

jan/feb, just write as much as possible, take time off of work/quit job if i need to

if possible confine edits to the first 2 weeks of march, get books printed; deliver final product by last week of march.

god this schedule is miserable. well i signed up for it! i did this entirely to myself! lmfao.

anyway i'm going to bracket in that it's a 20 chapter novel, which seems like a reasonable number of chapters. i essentially have ~10 weeks to write this book. this is totally normal and fine, i have written longer books with less of a solid outline in shorter amounts of time. if i can just sit my ass in a chair and hammer out 2.5k words/day i will EASILY make this deadline and have time for editing. the issue will be making myself do that. but having a deadline and like professional accountability should majorly help. esp if i quit my stupid fucking job lol

serpent's mouth, serpent's teeth - due 12/31

i have four chapters left on SMST. i do not think they will be EASY to write but I do think that I'm CAPABLE of getting them done before the end of the year. at the very least i've sworn until i was blue in the face that i would finish this book by the end of the year. i need this book to stop haunting my waking nightmares lmfao. i estimate ~50-60k words remain, but we'll see what it actually ends up shaking out as. hopefully it's not more than that.

anyway this is another just "ass in chair" moment. though if i could have made myself do that months ago, this book would have been finished sometime this summer lol

every link was freedom's name - aka the fucking. arle heinessen play. no due date.

this is my yay you finished all the obligations you had now you get to do something deeply deeply stupid and entertaining only to a tiny number of people project. lyric play about arle heinessen. book of exodus pastiche. probably not that long. estimate it'll take me as long as POD did, so a month and a half? but i won't stress it. aim to finish it mid may?

new constellations - aka the logh rarepairs exchange i run

I'm planning to run signups in late march, with works due mid may. this is slightly earlier than last year but due to my own personal schedule i don't want it to overlap with...

heart attack exchange - works due 6/2

yeah you literally only get 2 weeks to work on this one so it kinda is what it is lol.

life out of balance rewrite. no particular due date.

i expect this will take me 3-4 months to complete. finish by september?

lighting out for the territories augmentation. no particular due date.

i'd like to think that i can get this done in 2 months but i don't actually have a plan for what i need to do to it. so who tf knows lol. assume it'll take me the rest of the year.

every hateful instrument - no firm date

this will likely take between 6-8 months to finish, but it's another thing that i really want to stop having hanging over me. i'll either work on it before the LOFTT stuff or after

WIAW phezzan novella - ultimate TBD

to be completed immediately before starting LL/SS, probably

other misc nonsense

there are other small exchanges that i like to do (space swap, unsent letters, we die like fen) so as those pop up i probably will sign up for them. i'm not going to look up/prognosticate when they will happen at this moment in time

god i owe so many people gifts for birthdays and holidays and stuff >.> you may or may not get them. lean towards may not b/c what the fuck is this writing schedule. i'm so sorry lmao

i've now gotten back around to "oh this goes up to the end of the year again, so the end of the year exchanges (yuletide, fffx, fiab, galactic santas) should be on this schedule" but down that road lies only pain and horror lol

this list has gotten incredibly vague as things have gone on. the last part of this year and the first part of next year are pretty set in stone though, and i just need to like, get myself to the starting block and then start running

literally so funny that i was like "i should relax and take a break from writing before starting LL/SS" lmfao. lmfao.

obviously some of these things could be deleted from the schedule. i don't have to do a bunch of exchanges (but i liiiiiike them) and i don't have to write a stupid play (but i wannnnnnt to), and i don't have to do any rewrites to the early parts of WIAW (but they're a mess). so it's like. idk. maybe none of this is real and i'm just making lists b/c i like making lists lol

#writing #a wheel inside a wheel #in the shadow of heaven #tomorrow ye will get your pay #weh probably there's other things i should tag this with but it's late i need to go to bed