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chronicbitchsyndrome · 1 month

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so: masking: good, unequivocally. please mask and please educate others on why they should mask to make the world safer for immune compromised people to participate in.

however: masking is not my policy focus and it shouldn't be yours, either. masking is a very good mitigation against droplet-born illnesses and a slightly less effective (but still very good) mitigation against airborne illnesses, but its place in the pyramid of mitigation demands is pretty low, for several reasons:

it's an individual mitigation, not a systemic one. the best mitigations to make public life more accessible affect everyone without distributing the majority of the effort among individuals (who may not be able to comply, may not have access to education on how to comply, or may be actively malicious).

it's a post-hoc mitigation, or to put it another way, it's a band-aid over the underlying problem. even if it was possible to enforce, universal masking still wouldn't address the underlying problem that it is dangerous for sick people and immune compromised people to be in the same public locations to begin with. this is a solvable problem! we have created the societal conditions for this problem!

here are my policy focuses:

upgraded air filtration and ventilation systems for all public buildings. appropriate ventilation should be just as bog-standard as appropriately clean running water. an indoor venue without a ventilation system capable of performing 5 complete air changes per hour should be like encountering a public restroom without any sinks or hand sanitizer stations whatsoever.

enforced paid sick leave for all employees until 3-5 days without symptoms. the vast majority of respiratory and food-borne illnesses circulate through industry sectors where employees come into work while experiencing symptoms. a taco bell worker should never be making food while experiencing strep throat symptoms, even without a strep diagnosis.

enforced virtual schooling options for sick students. the other vast majority of respiratory and food-borne illnesses circulate through schools. the proximity of so many kids and teenagers together indoors (with little to no proper ventilation and high levels of physical activity) means that if even one person comes to school sick, hundreds will be infected in the following few days. those students will most likely infect their parents as well. allowing students to complete all readings and coursework through sites like blackboard or compass while sick will cut down massively on disease transmission.

accessible testing for everyone. not just for COVID; if there's a test for any contagious illness capable of being performed outside of lab conditions, there should be a regulated option for performing that test at home (similar to COVID rapid tests). if a test can only be performed under lab conditions, there should be a government-subsidized program to provide free of charge testing to anyone who needs it, through urgent cares and pharmacies.

the last thing to note is that these things stack; upgraded ventilation systems in all public buildings mean that students and employees get sick less often to begin with, making it less burdensome for students and employees to be absent due to sickness, and making it more likely that sick individuals will choose to stay home themselves (since it's not so costly for them).

masking is great! keep masking! please use masking as a rhetorical "this is what we can do as individuals to make public life safer while we're pushing for drastic policy changes," and don't get complacent in either direction--don't assume that masking is all you need to do or an acceptable forever-solution, and equally, don't fall prey to thinking that pushing for policy change "makes up" for not masking in public. it's not a game with scores and sides; masking is a material thing you can do to help the individual people you interact with one by one, and policy changes are what's going to make the entirety of public life safer for all immune compromised people.

#dyspunktional #cripple punk #actually disabled #cripplepunk #a lot of these are major concessions for me personally as i'm an anarchist and loathe to support further concentrations of state power #but if you're gonna be operating within the structure of the system. here you go. handing you a cheat sheet for what you should demand.

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froody · 8 months

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Dollar General keeps their bathrooms locked up like the Hope Diamond AND they’re nasty. It’s crazy. You’ve been driving for hours. You’re in the middle of mulefucking central Virginia. You come to a crossroads and there’s a Dollar General. You park. You go in. Nobody in the fucking parking lot. Somebody’s baby standing in the middle of gum aisle staring at you first thing. You’re there about to piss yourself, politely and quietly asking the cashier “May I please have the bathroom key?” while she fights with her baby daddy’s new girlfriend and then when she finally gives you the bathroom key and you go in there, it’s dark, it’s mysteriously wet, there is blood on the toilet seat, no hand soap, no paper towels, 3 sheets of 1 ply toilet paper on the roll, broken mirror, broken sink. You have the most unsatisfying piss of all time. You leave the bathroom and genuinely contemplate cracking open a bottle of hand sanitizer on the shelf. You’re trying to decide if you should buy something out of sheer politeness. While you’re standing there in the lip balm section, that baby from earlier runs full force at you, smacks into your leg and ricochets off, starts sobbing and his mom comes down the aisle glaring like YOU did it. You go to checkout with your stupid $4 hat and your chapstick and there’s a guy at the only till paying for 27 frozen dinners using only dimes.

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rslashrats · 4 months

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🪰 housefly734 Follow

just a reminder that flies rubbing their hands together =/= plotting a nasty scheme

🪰 r0tt1ngm3at Follow

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!! I HATE THE STEREOTYPE THAT US RUBBING OUR HANDS TOGETHER MEANS WE ARE PLANNING SOMETHING DUBIOUS!!

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

^^ Boosting! I constantly get non-flies giving me death glares whenever I wash my hands in the restroom. Like, that's what you're supposed to do after going to the bathroom! Sorry for being hygienic I guess 🙄

🪰 diptera-doll Follow

Reasons why flies might be rubbing their hands together:

It's chilly out and they're trying to warm up

They just put hand sanitizer/lotion/hand cream on

They're rolling a ball of clay together

What you should do if you see a fly rubbing their hands together:

Leave them alone! It's none of your business

Hope this helped! :)

🪰 flyhlghh Follow

people also forget that hand-rubbing is a very common stim!! neurodivergent flies constantly get stigmatized for showing any traits of their neurodivergencies in public!! please don't forget that!!

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

I dont know about you losers but i like to rub my hands together because i am planning the most heinous and villanous crimes in my head

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Wow, most obvious troll I have ever seen in my life. Get a life, dude 🙄

🪰 compoundeyehaver Follow

> claims to be a real fly

> has bee as their profile pic

dude couldn even get the right insect for their shitty troll account LMFAOOOOO

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

No i am real fly and i am plotting to land on someones pie rn and ruin it with all my real fly germs. rubbing my hands together as i do it too

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Anyone wanna bet this guy is some amphibian from 4frog typing this nonsense from their lilypad right now? Just me? Okay-

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

I am buzzing around people's ears now

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Yep, that pretty much confirms my theory. The nerve of some non-flies, I swear 🙄

🪰 batsianmimc Follow

@venus-fly-trap-hater

🪰 venus-fly-trap-hater Follow

this post is so real!! tysm babe for sending it to me 💞 ilyy

🪰 batsianmimc Follow

ILY too sugar cube 😘

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

Can you guys stop kissing on this post its ruining my evil scheme planning

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Can't believe this guy is still at it, honestly. @staff @tumblr Please take action against fake fly troll accounts such as these ones!

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

Staff cant kill me i rubbed my hands on them too hard and they dieded sorry

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

🤣🤣🤣 Oh the excuses this fake is making, LOL! I haven't been this entertained since the Bombylius major discourse last year!

🪰 compoundeyehaver Follow

why are you still arguing with the troll instead of just blocking

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Just think it's entertaining to see the lack of logic that bounces around in the brains of these non-flies sometimes 🤷‍♀️ Every response this so called "I am a real fly, trust me" user has given me has just made me crack up and flap my wings together.

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

I am gonna rub my hands and plan more evil schemes involving you next

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Heh, just try it, kid. Go on, I'll wait. 🥱

🦗 chirpingboy Follow

things are getting heated in the fly community

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

Of course a Grasshopper has the nerve to comment something insensitive on this post. Honestly, just mind your business 🙄

🦗 chirpingboy Follow

okayy

🦗 hopping-along-the-bank Follow

Hey, you can't really preach for not discriminating against flies and then discriminate against a grasshopper, dude. Not cool.

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

I think I certainty can, with my past experiences of Grasshoppers always finding the ways to say the most uneducated and baseless takes on my previous posts and discussions. Plus, after the Fly-Grasshopper War of 247 BC (in which my ancestors fought in, mind you) and the consequences that followed it, I think I am well within my rights. But go ahead, frame me as the bad guy here. 🤣

🦗 hopping-along-the-bank Follow

Yeah, you say this and conveniently ignore the socio-economic struggles that grasshoppers have been facing for the past century, many of these issues which were spearheaded by fly conservative politicians in office at the time.

So, yeah, it is rather hypocritical for you to pull out these cards when grasshoppers have also been punished and gotten the short end of the stick throughout bug history.

🪰 crane-fly-wives Follow

The implication that all flies are responsible for a few greedy politicians is quite comical, really. 🥱 Not to mention that many Grasshopper politicians in Bugland and Bugtopia have also had histories of introducing laws that have severely affected communities majorly made up of Flies. But sure, keep arguing with me about this, buddy. I got all day 🤣

🐝 iamrealflytrustme Follow

I am still rubbing my hands and planing schemes btw

🪰 flythatlovestogethigh Follow

anyone smoke bug weed in this thread

#bugs #insects #long post

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lqvesoph · 14 days

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Kingsday || LN4

lando norris x fem!reader

summary: when celebrating kingsday with your boyfriend lando ends with a small injury, and a call from his boss

masterlist

Your boyfriend being friends with a dutch DJ, meant one thing: party, party and party. Especially on Kingsday, a day where the dutch people celebrated the King‘s birthday, or got drunk on random boats driving down the channel of Amsterdam.

You had arrived about two hours ago. Lando immediately joined Martin at the DJ desk whereas you went to get some drinks for the two of you.

Now two hours later, Lando was still with Martin, or so you hoped because you actually haven’t seen him in over 30 minutes.

"Y/n!! Y/n come here!", a voice that you recognized as Martin called. You whisked around to find the dutchman waving frantically.

You frowned and excused yourself from your conversation before making your way through the mass of people. "What’s wrong?", you shouted. "It’s Lando, come!", Martin yelled and reached a hand out for you to take.

You gladly accepted his help to guide you through the people and to your boyfriend. And lord, you almost dropped your glass when you saw Lando.

"Baby!", a drunken smile graced his face. But that wasn’t the only thing. Before there were glasses and a ribbon in the dutch colours but now there was a white bandage wrapped around his head.

"Lando, what the hell happened??", you called, hastily placing your glass on a table and rushing to your boyfriend.

"I’m so happy you’re here", he slurred, placing his hands on your cheeks and pulling you into a messy kiss. You returned the kiss for a second before pulling back, holding him upright and steady.

"Baby, can you explain what happened?", you tried to again, pushing back his curls. "There were SO many people", he giggled and you tried your best to stay calm and let him finish talking. "And then I tripped and then there was an elbow and glass and suddenly ow…", his face dropped towards the end and his fingers reached up to his nose.

You held his hand back. "Don’t touch, let me see", you muttered and removed the very badly done bandage. You held his chin to move his head to the sides to get a good look at his bloody nose.

"Does it hurt?", you asked, carefully touching the brink of his nose. "Nope!", Lando grinned proudly, making you roll your eyes. "Of course not, you’re drunk", you mumbled.

"Martin, can you get my bag please? It’s with Lando’s jacket behind the DJ pult", you explained to Lando’s friend who nodded immediately and went to grab your bag.

When Martin came back you pulled tissue and sanitizer out of the black bag and cleaned up the blood around Lando’s nose. "Are you like a professional?", a guy asked, nodding at the things in your hand and your firm grip on Lando’s chin. "Almost", you chuckled. "I’m studying medicine."

"Yeah, she’s gonna be a doctor!", Lando called proudly. "Shh", you firmly said snd squeezed his chin. "It doesn’t look broken, maybe bruised but you‘ll be fine", you delivered the verdict. "You‘re the best, thank you. I love you", Lando mumbled, leaning forward to connect your lips again. A few "Aww"s were heard around you which made you smile just as Lando‘s phone started ringing.

The boy fumbled it out of his pocket, only to find his boss‘ name on the display. "Oh oh, that means trouble", Martin muttered. Seeing as you weren’t as drunk as the rest of the people around you, your reaction times were way faster. And so you reached forward to grab Lando‘s phone out of his hands to answer the call yourself.

"Lando Norris, what on earth are-", Zak‘s voice roared through the speakers. "Zak, hi, it’s me Y/n", you quickly interrupted the American who abruptly stopped talking.

"Y/n? I didn’t know you are with Lando", he sounded surprised.

"Martin invited us over-" "There’s a picture of Lando bleeding and with a bandage circulating around the internet, care to explain the situation?", Zak interrupted you, getting straight to the point.

"I wasn’t with him when it happened but according to him and various people around him, he tripped and cut his nose. Martin got me soon after and I already took a look at his nose and he‘s okay. A bit bruised, going to cause a bit of pain when putting a helmet on but he‘ll be fine. Nothing‘s broken or anything like that", you broke down the whole story to Lando‘s boss while pushing your fingers through Lando‘s curls.

He let out a sigh and you could imagine him sitting in his office chair, rubbing the side of his head. "Okay, can I talk to him for a second?", Zak said and you nodded, leaning down to Lando and handing him the phone.

"He wants to talk to you", you muttered, putting the phone to his ear. "Hiii", Lando called excitedly, making you squeeze your eyes shut with a chuckle. "Noo, I swear I‘m okay even better than okay!", he assured his boss. "Zak, I‘m fineee! Y/n is taking care of me."

"Hey Zak, did you know that dutch people-", you pulled the phone back from his ear before he could spill some stupid shit. "I‘ll get him back home in one piece, I promise", you said, ruffling his curls. "Thank you, Y/n", Zak replied before saying goodbye.

You took a deep breath and put Lando‘s phone in your back pocket. The Brit leaned his head against your stomach and closed his eyes with a content drunk smile.

"You okay?", you whispered with a smile and tapped the back of his head a few times. Lando nodded against your stomach and then looked up at you, pouting his lips to let you know he wanted a kiss. You smirked and leaned down to connect your lips.

"Okay let’s get back!", he called enthusiastically and got up, swaying a little when he stood. You wrapped an arm around his waist, doing your best to steady him. Lando naturally put his around your shoulders.

"Let‘s get you a glass of water and then we can go back, alright?", you compromised with him and dragged him over to the bar, telling the guy to hand you a glass of water.

You thanked him and turned your body to Lando, holding the cup close to his mouth. "Here you go."

Lando took a few sips and then leaned closer to your ear. "I love you", he whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck. You giggled and pulled him into a hug. "I love you", you replied.

"Let’s go back to Martin", he then called, making you laugh. "Oh and can I please get another Vodka Lemon?", Lando turned to the barkeeper who looked at you for approval. "Okay sure", he said when you nodded.

"Drink up, come on, hop hop", you clapped his waist a few times and nodded to the cup of water. Lando nodded and down the liquid in a few seconds before grabbing the fresh cup and taking the two of you back to Martin.

"What do you think Zak would say if I get behind that DJ desk?", Lando asked you. You chuckled. "He already called you once today because he worried you broke your nose so I don’t think it can get much worse", you replied making Lando laugh. "I‘ll just say you forced me to", your boyfriend said before pressing a kiss to your lips and walking around the desk to join Martin.

"Joining in again?", the dutchman asked, putting his arm around Lando. He nodded and was quickly handed the headphones. You chuckled, pulling out your phone to take a video of Lando pressing random buttons on the DJ desk. He grinned broadly when he spotted your camera on him.

"Come here, baby!", he called you over, holding the hand that wasn’t holding his glass. You put your phone away and took your boyfriend‘s hand.

He turned you around in a swift motion, wrapping his arms around your neck and pressing your body to his. You laughed out loud at the action but let him sway you from side to side.

Taking a sip from your glass you carefully pushed your hips back into his. When you didn’t get a reaction from him you did it again, this time a bit firmer. "Once is a mistake, two‘s a choice", he muttered in your ear, making you giggle.

Lando moved one of his hand down to your stomach, pressing you against him while he swayed your hips. His lips being so close to your ear meant the small breathy moan that left his lips was only for you to hear.

You turned your head so your nose was pressing against his jawline. A small kiss against his skin made him smile.

It wad Lando‘s turn to press himself closer to your back. "Okay, baby, no funny business until later", you chuckled, placing your fingers on his hands on your stomach.

"Oh, so you can tease but I can’t?", Lando chuckled teasingly and turned you around. "You can tease all you want, as soon as we’re inside our own four walls", you whispered, leaning closer to his ear.

"Promise?", Lando smirked.

"Promise!", you laughed, pressing your lips on his in a soft kiss.

📍 Amsterdam, Netherlands

tagged: landonorris, martingarrix

yn: Kingsday well spent (+ Lando at the airport the next day🤭)

comments:

landonorris: Violation

> yn: U were the one who got injured…

> landonorris: U r the one who posted it

> yn: I was also the one who aided you

> landonorris: I- don’t have anything else to add🙃

martingarrix: Had the best time🧡

> yn: Thanks for having us!!

maxverstappen: Did my invite get lost orrr?

> yn: LETS GO OUT IN MIAMI!!

oscarpiastri: Mate, you looked DEAD

> landonorris: thanks a lot, MATE🙃

ybff: YOU LOOK GORGEOUS unlike a certain brit boy

> landonorris: hey!

fan: The way she still slayed at the club while Lando was wearing that neon ass hat😭

fan: All the Mclaren members laughing at sleeping Lando lmaoo

fan: Lando getting violated by his girlfriend and his girlfriend‘s best friend and his teammate😭

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#lando norris #f1 #mclaren #ln4 #quadrant #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 x you

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castellla · 1 year

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i like the phrase 'manic features' specifically, because features really gives a 'sick-ass touchless trashcan by simplehuman at bed bath and beyond that costs $499.99 and also cooks, cleans, and fucks your wife if you're both into that' kinda vibe.

#*bats eyes* but my features.#i'm covered in an oleophobic coating that resists fingerprints... *saucy wink* that's also a Lie you will see Every fingerprint #the feature i'm seeing so far is: i guess you can write a lot in a short amount of time huh me-chan #(side note i DON'T know if this describes me; im not a doctor and i havent been diagnosed with anything specific to my knowledge)#(but also yknow. my doctor didn't NOT mention it so.... (o v o);#this is just the joke about taylor tomlinson being flattered to find out selena gomez also had bipolar but with more words #in fact why did i specifically and unironically choose: a trash can?#*BECAUSE IM PASSIONATE ABOUT CLEANLINESS AND HUMANIST PRODUCT DESIGN BITCH WE OWE SANITATION WORKERS OUR FUCKING LIVES*#i'm comparing myself to the fucking rolls royce of trashcans (in my experience) because i love them and can't help being a leo #'this price makes me wanna gag but also wanna roll around in how smart i feel for having bought this particular model because it's so nice'#konmari please help. konmari outside of what seems to be a fucked up-ly contractory level of marketing #og konmari circa 2015 - yea use whatever kind of boxes you have on hand you don't to buy a bunch of stuff to organize #konmari circa now - (yeah yeah she did kind of 'sold out' with the container store Specifically because if you haven't been?#it is paradise for me (an organizing Dweeb)#but it's also mouth-droppingly expensive at times #they do make good products. i'm sure her line of products with them are popular #but it kinda does hurt to have HER name of all people on an $80 magazine tray?#and i'm not saying one is more correct than the other - truly i feel like she pushed for an ethos of 'do what works for you'#'and don't let other people shame you for getting what you want and need out of your home'#like. she has kids and a husband. aside from in home organizing - not sure how much of her time is split between actual client visits #time with family and time doing big BIG projects for netflix her publishers i presume etc.#and the container store deal... like i truly hope she got to be part of the creative process and was consulted about it #including the design elements and things like that #but also the price?#its def nice to have the option to buy something really pretty and im sure some people have bought it and enjoyed it #but it's really hard to swallow #because i think her method has appeal that can extend to people outside of an income bracket that lets them go 'oh fuck yeah!'#'konmari walnut hand stained wood tray?! you got it! *CLICKS BUY*'#but even though i'm painfully in her corner #i can't commonly justify things that are that expensive simply for branding's sake

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artbytesslyn · 5 months

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i know tiktok and shit reels are making you think that not only does your art need to be aesthetically pleasing but also your painting process must be simple and clean and your hands can’t get dirty and every stroke needs to be beautiful.

this is a complete illusion. that artist with pretty hands is scrubbing every drop of paint off with every cut. The brush is barely touching the canvas. There’s rags everywhere. There’s gamsol on the floor. This is the fifth time they’re trying this composition. There’s 10 shredded attempts off-screen. The room isn’t ventilated enough. It’s annoying as fuck to paint with acrylic nails glued on. keeping the palette and palette knife clean for the camera is the most obnoxious thing possible.

You don’t have to sell your process. Not every moment you spend drawing or painting has to be sanitized for aesthetics. Keep something for yourself. idk

#tess talks #sorry i just saw a pretty painting process of a sky and it was so sanitized it pissed me off #REALLY pissed me off #being an artist just starting out these days #must be fucking awful

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dr3c0mix · 4 months

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Yoooo, what are you waiting for it's gangussy time 😡😡 😡😡😡😡

(This is a joke please please please take care of yourself first for the love of whoever is up there don't overwork yourself 🙏 )

Utmost Loyalty

Yan!Gang x GN Reader

no warnings that i know of, theyre just really really stupid

🐉 The grocery you usually go to was closed early for the day, poor you had to walk the 2 miles to the nearest store in order to buy the stuff you needed for the week.

🐉 Living alone was hard work. You worked an exhausting 9 to 5 job that barely provided for your tiny apartment and pet (and your endless merch of your favorite franchise)

🐉 You were already tired from working today, and now you have to walk an extra 2 miles to get groceries you may or may not be able to afford because you never went to said grocery store before??

🐉 The grocery was in a pretty sketchy part of the city, with the smell of car exhaust and cigarettes lingering everywhere that you had to cover your nose to evade the scent.

🐉 You quickly went in the store and breathed in deeply, thankfully the store didn't smell so bad.

🐉 Besides than you, there were only 2 other people, the store owner and someone in a black suit eating some instant noodles.

🐉 You went to work trying to find all the stuff you need on your list. Coffee, fruits and veggies, snacks, and maybe some chocolate as a treat for yourself~

🐉 You pay for your things, unfortunately unable to afford the chocolates, and leave the store.

🐉 aaaaand now its raining...

🐉 You rush to the nearest cover, trying to cover the paper bag full of your groceries before hearing labored breathing from the alley you passed.

🐉 You stop and look back to see a man hunched over, his back to the wall as he winced at a wound he had on his torso that stained his white buttoned up shirt. He looked to have come from a fight..

🐉 You gasp, almost dropping your groceries. His golden eyes dart over to you and glare at your meek form.

🐉 "What're you lookin at?" he growls.

🐉 "You're..bleeding- You're bleeding!!" You start to panic.

🐉 "Yeah no shit I'm bleeding! What the fuck do you want?!"

🐉 You scramble away from the man in the alley frightened and freaked out. Out of instinct, you return to the store and ask where the first aid items are.

🐉 Kagiri sighed, trying his best to hold on while waiting for his gang to arrive and help him out. He just had to be strong. He can get through this. He can do it! He doesn't need anyone!

🐉 "Sorry! I'm back!"

🐉 goddamnit..

🐉 He grumbles at your presence but then realizes you have two bags and not one like you had recently. You put down your groceries and take a few stuff out of the other bag. Band-Aids..gauze..sanitizer..what's going on??

🐉 "What are you doing?" He asks in a threatening voice.

🐉 You don't say anything, you focus on trying to patch up his wounds, asking him a few things once in a while like "can you lift your arm please?" or "unbutton your shirt a bit.."

🐉 And he let you..for some reason...

🐉 He went from growling to staring silently at you while you worked on bandaging his wounds, like a feral dog being pet for the first time.

🐉 Now he managed to get a good look at you. You were quite cute, and it looked like you just got off work from the attire you were wearing. Your hands were so soft compared to his calloused ones, and your eyes..one look from you and even the toughest mafia boss will melt from how comforting they are..

🐉 And before he knows it, you've finished and were apologizing profusely to him for butting in on his situation, he was gonna say something else but you ran off.

🐉 You finally arrive back at your apartment, your pet cat rubbing against you as you lock your door. You smile and pick her up about to ramble about the hectic day you had until you realize..

🐉 You picked up your cat..

🐉 Your hands were free prior..

🐉 YOU LEFT YOUR GROCERIES!!

🐉 Silence fills the room before you let out a pitiful sob. Scolding yourself for forgetting your groceries with that mysterious guy, all that money and fresh food wasted! Your cat tries to lick your face to calm you down.

🐉 You pace around the room trying to figure out what to do now until a knock on your door is heard.

🐉 You open the door but there was no one there, but you see two men hastily and quite loudly scramble their way down the stairs giggling like middle schoolers. Did two grown men really ding dong ditch you??

🐉 You sigh and go to close the door, but your cat meows and trots outside and you look down to see her paw at a bag full of groceries..what?!

🐉 All your groceries were there, plus some extra cans of food, wrapped onigiri..your chocolates? and it wasn't in a dull paper bag anymore, it was in a black tote bag with a gold insignia of a sea serpent.

🐉 You didn't dare question it, considering the looks of the man who helped you and the part of town you were in, he was likely part of some gang and wanted to thank you.

🐉 But it didn't stop there...

🐉 You felt like you were being watched every time you were outside..no, it wasn't a feeling, THEY WERE LITERALLY RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN WATCHING YOU.

🐉 It didn't take a genius to spot them. You started noticing newcomers to the places you frequented. Like in a cafe that was fairly quiet and cozy, there were about 5 men dressed in blazers with some kind of flashy undershirt and gelled up hair at the very back of the establishment.

🐉 They didn't do a good job trying to hide the fact they were watching you with a newspaper.

🐉 It freaked you out, but you tried your best to ignore them.

🐉 But it was hard to do that when they started talking to you..

🐉 "Excuse me, you dropped your wallet.." you turn around and almost stumble over the tall intimidating man right behind you meekly handing you back your wallet.

🐉 You take it back with a shaky hand and waddle away trying not to look back.

🐉 If you did, you'd see the big burly man absolutely blushing and squealing as a few other men giddily walk up to him, showing a video of the encounter you just had from across the street.

🐉 There was also the time you caught them staring dreamily at you when they saw that you started using the tote bag with the serpect symbol as your office bag, it was a pretty nice bag and you didn't want it to just lie around your house..

🐉 And that one co-worker who's kind of a creep? Never messed with you again. You caught a glimpse of them shivering over the symbol on your bag.

🐉 Not to mention boxes of groceries that show up at your door all wrapped up in a red bow, they still haven't learned to be more silent when dropping those off..

🐉 After a bit you start to recognize some of them from their haircuts or the jewelry they always have on them. It made you more curious as to what their deal was.

🐉 So you decided to search up online with the insignia on the tote bag as your first clue.

🐉 You find out that its the symbol for a local gang that dealt with all kinds of stuff, robbery, misconduct, public damage..mostly public damage..

🐉 You manage to find a photo of all of them, you recognize the man in the center. It was the guy you saw in the alley way..

🐉 Connecting all the dots, you somehow got the protection of a gang because you patched up their wounded boss..great..

🐉 The next day you spot a few of the gang members again but instead of ignoring them, you give them a small wave before heading off the work. They were left stunned with a story to tell the others that'll make them squeal like little girls.

🐉 They started becoming less and less distant from you.

🐉 From watching you across the street to making small talk about the prices of fruits at the store.

🐉 One by one the gang gets a special moment with you, they were small mundane moments, but they treasured them like a core memory.

🐉 Word finally got to the boss that you've been very close with them lately, and he decides it's time to confront you.

🐉 As usual, a knock is heard at your door, and you see them clumsily run away, leaving a box of groceries behind..you should probably tell them you have a doorbell.

🐉 But it wasn't a box of groceries, it was full of heart shaped chocolates, sweet pink sweets and about 3 stuffed bears, topped up with a bouquet of flowers, as well as a note. You bring the box in and read small card.

🐉 Dear Mx. L/N, please go to this address tomorrow at 6pm. Don't be late. Please.

🐉 You can see words like 'We love you' and 'Have a nice evening' and 'we cant wait' messily scribbled out.

🐉 You arrive at the location at the designated time and look around.

🐉 The place they wrote in was a fancy looking restaurant that looked like the only thing you could afford was the water..

🐉 You're escorted to a table in a private room. You can hear the muffled noises of men giggling and talking before you enter and they all quiet down. It was quite intimidating to see them all in the same room, but the scariest part was seeing the boss; Kagiri, sitting in the center.

🐉 A little Siamese cat with big yellow eyes mewls at you and you pet it. It jumps up to you and purrs on your lap. Around his neck is a red collar with a gold nametag with the serpent symbol engraved on it, and on the back read 'Unagi'. You hear the men awe softly at the sight of the boss' cat getting along with their darling idol

🐉 Kagiri stands up and smiles at you warmly and by warmly I mean he looks terrifying

🐉 "It's nice to see you again. I never got to formally thank you for what you done to me." he lifts up his shirt a bit to reveal his healed wound which faded into a scar.

🐉 You nervously say you're welcome and shake his hand, you can't help but notice him shiver over your touch.

🐉 He invites you to sit down and eat and you spend the night having dinner and talking with the gang.

🐉 They try their best to impress you, sitting up straight, puffing out their chests, deepening their voices..

🐉 It almost seems like they were competing for your attention.

🐉 Once dinner was over, Kagiri speaks up "Now, about our meeting, we've been meaning to ask you something." he says gently.

🐉 The large man walks over to you and takes your hand and kneeling..what whats happening..

🐉 "Y/N L/N..will you be our new boss?" He asks passionately.

🐉 The gang cheers, pleading for you to say yes, it was like being confessed to by 7 grown men

🐉 "So? What will you say?" Kagiri asks, with eyes sparkling with hope and adoration.

🐉 The gang was kicked out of the establishment for making too loud and causing a disturbance..

🐉 Maybe you shouldn't have said yes..

its done guys, this is probably the most fun ive had writing a fic!! also there may be bonus content about the individual gang members if you guys are up for that ;3

#yandere #yandere x gn reader #yandere x reader #male yandere #oc yandere #yandere oc #yandere male #tw yandere #x reader #yandere blog #yandere gang #gang x reader #yandere boss #yandere boss x reader #boss x reader #multiple yandere #poly yandere #opossumdoodles

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ddejavvu · 1 year

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would you please write a spencer x reader where she's at the conference (? not sure if thats what it technically was) where spencer gave his speech and everyone was just like 😶😶 but not her

and immediately after the speeches when everyone is talking she comes up to talk to him and shes being so kind he doesn't even notice that shes the only one paying him attention, just immediate infatuation 🥺

"I liked your joke, Dr. Reid." You approach the man from behind, but you neglect to tap him on the shoulder. You'd seen him apply hand sanitizer on his way out of the lecture hall without ever having touched anything inside, so you have a feeling he's more conscious about germs than most.

He turns from the proximity of your voice, and so does Agent Rossi. You're ecstatic to be in both of their presences, but Dr. Reid is an extra something special.

Agent Rossi takes one look at the flustered expression on Dr. Reid's face as he tries processing your remark, and turns around with a stifled grin.

"Uh, thank you," Dr. Reid stammers, blinking fast, "It didn't seem to be much of a crowd pleaser."

"Nothing pleases this crowd," You lament, "We're all overworked and sleep-deprived. But from an avid patron of the campus library, your joke made me laugh. And- uh, I'm Y/N. By the way."

He nods, lips pulling back into a smile that's more of a straight line than anything. You like it, it's cute.

"This campus's library is incredible," You seem to have unlocked Dr. Reid's hidden passion, as he springs into conversation without hesitation, "Unfortunately I wasn't able to explore before we got here because we got stuck in traffic, but we walked past it and I could see that the philosophy section goes all the way through to the other side."

His eyes are wide as he speaks, hands aiding his speech as he rambles.

"It's actually," You chuckle breathlessly, a tad sheepish to admit it, "It's one of the reasons I came here instead of my other potential university. I couldn't pass up the library."

"A girl after his own heart," Agent Rossi sets a hand on Dr. Reid's shoulder, finally tuning back into your conversation with a kind smile towards you. Dr. Reid turns, effectively broken from his passion-fueled library reverie.

"Unfortunately, we've just gotten called away," Agent Rossi informs you, "But Spencer, I think you should give her your business card in case she has any questions about our lecture."

Dr. Reid stands frozen, blinking once, twice, thrice, then-

"Oh! My card," He fumbles with the chest pocket of his sweater, then when he comes up empty (save for a speck of lint), he switches to his messenger bag.

"Uh," He jams his hand into a sleeve sewn to the lining of the bag, then thrusts a slightly rumpled business card towards you, "Here, um, yeah, if you have any questions. Or- or if you'd like to talk about philosophy? I've, um... I've got plenty more jokes if you ever have time to listen."

"I'll make time," You promise him, and you don't miss the way his eyes go wide and his cheeks glow pink, "Thank you, Dr. Reid."

"Uh, Spencer!" He decides, calling after you as you part ways, feet shuffling over tile as he tries keeping pace with Agent Rossi, "You can call me Spencer!"

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid one-shot #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid headcanons #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid hc #spencer reid hcs #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid dialogue #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader fanfiction

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ellecdc · 1 month

Text

Our Baby Has Four Feet?

poly!moonwater x pregnant!reader who find out they're having twins

CW: pregnancy, ultrasounds etc. I didn’t see either of the boys recovering from this advance the twins had on them - but I’m still dying that we could not decide who we’d prefer to be the bio dad hahahaha

This was the second moment in your pregnancy that you were convinced that Wizardingkind’s claim at being further advanced than muggles was completely unfounded. A simple charm cast on you at St. Mungo’s confirmed that you were, indeed, pregnant. But it was a muggle blood test at a walk-in clinic that told you how far along you were.

So, when Lily told you, Remus, and Regulus that she went to a muggle OBGYN for ultrasounds during her pregnancy with Harry, the boys were obsessed with the idea of getting to see the little life growing inside of you.

You found a clinic that was was understanding of your…unique lifestyle, and sat in a small room waiting for the doctor after being checked in by a nurse.

“Regulus, please stop pacing.” You said quietly, repositioning yourself on the uncomfortable medical bed and wincing when the paper tore beneath you.

“Sorry.” He mumbled quickly as he sat down on one of the chairs, trapping his hands underneath him as if that would help his nervous fidgeting.

“It’s going to be fine, bubs. This is standard; my mum had one done when she was pregnant with me.” Remus placated.

“Okay…okay, so it’s not invasive?”

You laughed. “Reggie, nothing happens. They just touch a camera to my belly and it shows what’s inside.”

Regulus blanched at that. “Will the baby feel it?”

Neither you nor Remus got to answer (or laugh at him) when the door opened and a Doctor wearing a bright smile entered the room.

“Hello! You must be our mama?” She asked as she extended a hand to you, carrying on at your nod in affirmation.

“My name is Doctor Bozelli. So, we’re here for an ultrasound?”

You nodded and looked towards Remus. “We’re about 19 weeks along now. This is our first ultrasound and our first pregnancy so we’re all a little new at this.” He explained to the doctor

“Well mazel tov! Alright; and are we finding out the sex of the baby?”

“I am, they won’t be.” You answered, causing the doctor’s face to spread into a cheeky smile.

“Okay, dads are leaving it as a surprise, got it. Okay mama, lean back for me and raise your top.”

You did as instructed as the doctor sanitized her hands and donned a pair of medical gloves.

“Alright, I’m just going to pull these down a little lower and tuck a sheet in so we don’t get gel on your trousers.”

You had no time to feel self conscious at so much of your midsection showing with an audience of three before the doctor was shaking a bottle of ultrasound gel.

“Now, this is going to feel cold, okay?” She said as she hovered it over your stomach.

“It’s not going to hurt her, is it?” Regulus asked hastily, earning him a none-too-gentle elbow in the side from Remus.

“Ignore him; I do.” You offered the doctor, voice coloured in embarrassment.

“Everything is perfectly safe, dad.” She placated as she spread the - sure enough - cold gel over your stomach and placed the doppler over the area.

The room was quiet as the doctor searched for…well, you supposed the baby, though there really wasn’t anywhere for them to hide.

“This is your first ultrasound you said?” The doctor queried, causing Regulus to stand up quickly.

“Yes.” You offered at the same time as Regulus barked “what’s wrong?”

The doctor chuckled before she responded. “Nothing’s wrong dad. Look.”

She turned the screen towards the three of you and both boys learned further overtop of you to get a better look.

“I….I’m so sorry but what are we supposed to be looking at?” Remus said; braver than you and Reg to admit you had no idea what was going on.

“See here?” The doctor said as she pointed to two little blobs that you could almost feel pushing into your stomach. “These are a pair of feet.”

The doctor was interrupted by the sound of Remus ‘awe’-ing before she continued.

“And these here are another pair.”

The room fell painfully silent as the three of you stared at the monitor.

“Our baby has four feet?” Regulus breathed out in disbelief.

The doctor chuckled as she moved the doppler slightly and pointed out something else on the screen. “Well, seeing as there are two heartbeats; I’d reckon it’s less that one baby has four feet and more that there are two babies.”

“Two heartbeats?” Remus breathed out.

“One of them’s mine, right?” You asked nervously.

The teasing that the doctor’s face had when speaking with Regulus and Remus fell into a more serious expression as she smiled at you. “No, mum. We wouldn’t see the fluttering of your pulse down here.”

The room stayed silent as the doctor moved the camera over your stomach; snapping screenshots every so often as she went.

“Twins?”

The doctor hummed in confirmation at Remus’ question as she took a few more pictures.

“One appears to be smaller than the other though, which would suggest they were not conceived at the same time.”

Regulus choked on air as he began pacing again. “Can’t one just be smaller than the other?” He asked; his voice taking on an almost shrill quality.

“Not when the size difference is this dramatic, no. One of the twins is younger, I’d say by perhaps two weeks”

“Shut up.” You barked, causing all three heads to turn in your direction.

“Dove, it-”

“Shut up. No, one of the heartbeat’s is mine.”

“Amour, try to take some deep breaths, yeah?” Reg tried as he put a gentle hand on your ankle.

You kicked at him.

“Don’t touch me. Did Sirius put you up to this?” You asked the doctor severely.

“S…Serious?”

“My brother; he’s a prankster.” Regulus explained at the doctors confusion.

“No mama, this isn’t a prank. It’s called superfetation; though rare, your body can release two or more eggs during the same menstrual cycle, which can then be fertilized at different points.” She explained as if she were reciting notes from her medical student’s textbook.

You stared unseeingly at the monitor that displayed not one, but two of your future children as Remus and Regulus continued asking questions.

“Are both of them healthy?” Regulus asked first, to which the doctor agreed quickly.

“The younger one seems to be developing normally; their sibling hasn’t been strong-holding them for space or nutrients.”

“What can we expect from this type of pregnancy?” Remus asked.

“Does this increase certain risks for mum or babies?” Regulus added.

“Oh, Merlin.” You breathed quietly, covering your face with your hands.

Remus’ hand was quickly on your shoulder, and whatever had compelled you to kick out at Regulus before was long gone as you turned towards Remus; his hand feeling like a grounding point keeping you from floating off into oblivion.

“I’ll give you guys a few moments, okay?” The doctor asked quietly and excused herself after passing you some paper towel for the gel on your stomach.

You let out an embarrassing hiccup as you pulled the cloth from your trousers, but Regulus’ hands were quickly taking over the task for you.

Remus had one hand on your shoulder and the other cradling your head as his thumb strokes at the baby hairs near your temple, allowing you to silently cry.

Unfortunately, the gentle and loving way Regulus cleaned your stomach and righted your clothing only made you cry harder.

“Come on, sit up dove.” Remus encouraged as he pulled you up by your arms.

Once you were sat upright, he was crouching down in front of you as Regulus moved behind you, wrapping his arms around your midsection - hands landing protectively over your growing stomach - as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“That was quite the news, huh?” Remus asked quietly as he drew circles with his thumb on your thigh.

You nodded your head yes as new tears fell.

“But sweetheart, you’ve grown two healthy babies and you didn’t even know it. You’re doing a wonderful job.” Regulus insisted, voice muffled as he pressed his lips into your jaw.

“I know this is more than we bargained for, but I think we can manage between the three of us, yeah?” Remus offered, causing Regulus to scoff.

“Please, we won’t be able to keep their aunts and uncles away.”

You chuckled wetly at that as you wiped at your face. “Can we not tell them?”

“Tell who what, amour?”

“I don’t want to tell anyone it’s twins; let’s just surprise them.”

Regulus scoffed as Remus let out a boisterous laugh. “Absolutely mischievous dove, I love it. This is the best prank the Marauders will never see coming.”

“It would be nice to see my brother struck dumb.” Regulus mused.

“Then it’s settled.” Remus murmured, pressing his ear to your stomach. “Our babies will be born pranksters.”

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lordsukunas · 2 months

Text

jjk men & you: nail appointment!

tldr: gojo, geto, nanami, ino, choso, toji, sukuna + mahito going with you to your nail appointment.

cw: fem!reader. sukuna refers to reader as ‘woman’ once. and mahito.

a/n: this was fun lowk. might do it for jjk boys, depends on my motivation. idk if mahito particularly counts as a man, but he’s here for my mootie. time to sleep now, enjoy!!!

✿ — gojo:

first things first, he’s paying for your nails. which sounds like a good thing, until you realize he’s insisting on going along with you. he’ll pester you the entire time, suggesting colors and styles (how does he know so much?!) and then doing anything to get you to laugh or look at him. sometimes it results in your nail tech getting a little lot frustrated because he keeps making you squirm. eventually, tho, he’ll stop and let the tech finish up your nails.

“they’re cute. would’ve been cuter if you let me pick, buuuut... still cute.”

✿ — ino:

he’ll flex his knowledge about nails like it’s something revolutionary or suggest a style that he swears is completely unique, only for you to correct him and realize that it’s really just basic information. he’ll spend the rest of the appointment scrolling through pinterest and instagram, trying to find inspo for your next set.

“ooh, baby, look. these are nice, right?”

✿ — nanami:

only pays if you want him to, and only goes if you want him to. is content to let you pick whatever style you want, but likes to pick out bold colors and suggest designs based on your interests or adding charms. always tips the tech, and once your nails are done, he gently grabs your hand and kisses the back of it.

“these suit you perfectly, my lady.”

✿ — geto:

at first, he is nawt going in there. unless you find a sorcerer nail tech, he’s going to be slick the entire time. he’ll side-eye everyone else getting their nails done, judge their taste (“why would she choose that shit-brown?”), and stand up the entire time. he doesn’t want the germs. once you’re done, he’s pulling you out of there as quickly as possible.

“here, take this. ... yes, it’s hand sanitizer. you don’t want those monkey germs, right?”

✿ — toji:

only goes because you told him if he tagged along, you’d pay. in reality, he was going to go all along, just to make sure nobody tries anything. he will slap the shit outta somebody, including your nail tech. sits in a tiny chair by your side, massive head resting on your shoulder and arms crossed, absolutely knocked out. he’ll only wake up if you shrug your shoulder or if the appointment ends (he has some kind of sixth sense for that shit).

“huh? ... nah, i ain’t sleep. you cute, now c’mon.”

✿ — choso:

kind of like gojo, clingy asf. he won’t make suggestions (bro has no idea, pls bear w/ him), but he’ll praise any and every decision you make. his arms will be wrapped around your waist the entire time, earning him lots of ‘awhss’ and ‘look at them! so cute.’ tips the nail tech for “making you extra gorgeous.” his words, not mine.

“you look good, i swear. i like the colors, and the shape, and the design, and your hands...”

✿ — sukuna:

has a personal nail tech. you think he maintains them black nails by himself? no. threatens his nail tech to do good on your nails, otherwise it’ll be the last set they ever do. makes minor suggestions, but is content to sit back and let you decide for yourself. he does have a preference color, though, either black, red, or dark purple. gets a weird urge to nibble your fingers once your nails are done. please don’t ask why.

“hm? you look fine, woman. nothing rivals your natural beauty, so quit ya whining.”

✿ — higuruma:

he’s awake for the entire prep process. watching you pick your colors, decide on a design, get settled in the chair. the second the nail tech actually gets to work, though, he’s tapped out. just like toji, he’s sitting in a chair beside you, head either resting in your lap or on your shoulder. if he could sit across from you, his head would be on your chest. only wakes up when it’s time to pay (he tips!) or if something goes wrong.

“... mm? oh, those are nice, sunshine. i like the little designs, very cute.”

✿ — mahito ..?:

a lil shit the entire time istg. doesn’t care what you pick, will poke and squish and pinch and nuzzle you the whole process, annoying both you and the tech. considers getting his done to match yours, but realizes he could probably just morph the shape of his soul instead of sitting there.

“those are, like, so cute! ... no? you don’t like my valley girl accent?”

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dtfpeta · 10 months

Text

Feverish | Ghost x Fem Reader

Tags: sick!simon, sub!simon, dry humping, p in v sex, penetration

Summary: Simon is sick and thinks he knows how to break a fever with the help of his girlfriend

Word count: 1.4k

Read here on ao3! __________

He only had a small cold. Or at least, what was a small cold. And of course he acted like a helpless animal, asking you to feed him, bring him an assortment of medicines, and help him walk to the bathroom where he would then, ask you to bathe him. A cheeky smile that he hardly tried to hide displaying on his face.

You of course, didn’t mind caring for your afflicted boyfriend.

“You can’t take another Benadryl, Simon. You just had one.” Simon always prided himself on his flawless immune system. Now that his body has been compromised by harmful bacteria he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. But thank god he had you. For the past two days all he could do was mumble and groan from the couch. Exasperated “ehhgg’s” and whines of sickness filling the living room as the over 6 foot man struggled to lift his arms, begging for your help with the remote.

That’s why it surprised you to feel the searing warmth of his arms wrap around your waist as you stood in the kitchen. Your working hands coming to a stop on the meal you were preparing.

“Si- You’ve already contaminated our living room! I’ll be damned if I’m next…” You argued while attempting to shrug out of his grasp, finding your efforts ineffective. Over the past couple days you had made a valiant effort to sanitize the house and frequently wash your hands. You know Simon would take care of you if you fell sick, but you also knew that the idea of wallowing in the two of yous illness together was appealing to him as well.

“Mm, needa break this fever-” He murmured while burying his face into the crook of your neck. Laying hot kisses in his wake.

“Then let me make you a cup of tea. Or go take a warm shower don’t-!” His hands began to roam your body. Grasping at the skin of your stomach before moving to knead at your chest.

“Not what I had in mind” His words came out breathless. Whether that was because of his aroused state, his clogged sinuses, or both, you weren’t sure. But the needy grips his calloused hands laid on your body began to have an effect on you.

“You can go a few days can’t you?” Simon responded with an unconcerned hum, a low groan soon leaving the back of his throat as he grabbed your hips. Grinding his half hard erection against the flesh of your ass.

“You’ve been so good t’me. Can you help me some more?” His fingers dug deeper into your flesh, rutting the length of his bulge languidly against your backside. “Please.” He whined.

His hand came up to your neck, his index and thumb taking your chin and turning your face to meet his. It was too late to save yourself when his lips met yours, his tongue greedily working the wet room of your mouth as his hands massaged your breasts.

You sighed into the kiss, accepting the hunger that overtook you as well as the heat that gathered between your thighs. You soon gasped into Simon’s embrace as he was now turning you to face him, one hand resting on the back of your thigh as the other moved behind you. Haphazardly pushing the cutting board to the side so he could swiftly lift to place you on top of the counter. The cold stone of the counter caused you to arch your back as you pushed your chest into Simon, who now hurried to remove your top and bra. Exposing your hard nipples to the cold of the air that had previously worked to cool Simon’s fever, which only proved to be a futile attempt as the crimson on his cheeks only grew.

Simon pulled your waist so his erection could meet your clothed core. His eyes hung low with a fevered lust as you moved your hips to work against him. The both of you moaning as Simon hung his head forward between your chest, releasing sinful whimpers as he urgently rutted into you.

“Need ya’. Now” He demanded. Your brain began to cloud with its own brand of Simon induced fog. He was so desperate that you only wanted to provide for him.

Your boyfriend hooked his fingers around the waistband of your shorts pulling them down alongside your damp underwear to your ankles. Kicking them to the floor as he lowered his boxers and sweatpants, Simon revealed his hard cock, the tip smeared with a bead of pre-cum that you reached to run your fingers against.

He shuddered at the sudden attention from your delicate touch. His body was practically on fire. Having to separate himself from you only caused him to become pent up, needy for any attention that you would provide his weeping cock. Your hand wrapped around his length as you stroked him with expertise. Heavy breaths flooded the room. He placed his hands on the edge of the counter to steady himself as you worked his shaft. Your left hand came to cradle the side of his face. ‘Poor thing’

You twisted your hand around him, your thumb swirling the sensitive skin of his head as you whispered in his ear. “Is this helping you hun?”

His head nodded fiercely against your neck. “Mmm Mhm, thank you-” His delicious whines filled your ears as he began to lightly shake. Your own sex was becoming neglected when your left hand lifted his face so his eyes could meet yours.

“Can I fuck you,” he near but begged. “I can take care of you too.” His lips connected with yours for a passionate kiss. Butterflies spread in the pit of your stomach at his adoration for you. It wasn’t often he got like this but when he did you happily let him succumb to his urges. He parted his mouth from yours, a string of saliva connecting to your now glossy lips, and Simon still pumping himself into your hand. “Make you feel good.” He enticed.

You nodded your head when he took the head of his cock to swipe between your folds. Circling the slickened tip around your swollen clit and dragging it back in between your folds. His hands came to rest softly against your lower waist, thumbs digging into the crest between your thighs and torso. He began to push his length into your hot walls, his eyes closing to keep him from cumming right then and there.

“F-fuck” He sputtered pushing himself deeper into your core.

“Simon, please” Your legs lifted to wrap your calfs around his back. Your heels now digging into his ass to encourage his strokes. Simon got the message and pushed the rest of his cock into your begging cunt. Engulfing him with a boiling heat as you began adjusting to his size. He began to move in and out of you. His eyes locked to yours as he provided your pussy with slow, hard thrusts.

Each slap of his skin against yours elicited a moan from your lips that he returned with animalistic grunts of his own. 2 days too many away from your perfect cunt, and he was never a man of patience.

Your pussy squelched as he dragged the full length of his cock out of you before bottoming out again. His hand moved to the back of your head, bringing you in for a messy kiss while the other moved to your clit. Simon was amazed he had even lasted this long and as his orgasm began to approach its horizon he worked to bring yours to as well. You gasped into the kiss. His hand quickening its assault as his thrusts entered you at a new angle. Simon pistoning his cock against the patch of nerves that lay within your walls, your hold on him beginning to tighten as he talked you through your imminent climax.

“Cum on my cock pretty girl. I know you need it. I need it.” His words came out in a gravel like tone. He couldn’t hold it in any longer when your cunt began to spasm around his shaft, milking his own release from him as the coil in your stomach snapped. You threw your head back, your mouth falling agape as Simon growled against your neck. His hot seed filled you with a satiating intensity.

“So,” your breathing now labored, “So good Si.” Your hand came to massage the back of scalp as he littered your neck with kisses.

It wouldn’t be until another 2 days when he denied his involvement in your oncoming fever. His own having been broken when he suggested a new at home remedy to cure you.

#call of duty #cod smut #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader

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