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shallyne · 9 months

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SJM Crackshipmonth: What if?

Sunshine and Promises

This is chapter four of my Sunshine and Promises fic but you can read this without reading the other parts. Ship: Feyre x Helion for @sjmcrackshipmonth (pls remember this is supposed to be a crackfic) Thanks to @starfall-spirit for this idea

Words: 1,480

TW: none

After an (off page) one night stand Feyre gets pregnant and both Helion and Feyre try to get used to the news. Her belly steadily growing, Feyre can't hide the pregnancy much longer and tells her friends, then comes home to bad news.

It was a sunny afternoon. It was warm and the sky was clear and Feyre finally responded to her friends and invited them to get coffee. She couldn't keep the pregnancy to herself for much longer, she knew that, and she didn't want them to find out through any gossip. It wasn't that she didn't want her friends to know, it was just that she still had to digest the news herself. But now she sat in a cozy café, playing with her coffee cup as her little group of friends told her about the last party she missed. It was a funny story and Feyre laughed, easing her nerves.

"We missed you, though." Ressina said, laying her hand on top of Feyre's. "When are you going to join us again?"

"Oh," Feyre said, pushing the cup away from her. It seemed like a good idea to order it but now the thought of coffee made her nauseous. "I guess that will be a while."

Aranea tilted her head in question and Ressina slightly drew her hand back, "What do you mean?"

"I'm pregnant." Feyre finally said. Lorelei beside her gasped and pressed her hand on her mouth, Aranea raised her eyebrows in surprise and Ressina leaned forward, now fully grabbing and squeezing her hand.

"You're pregnant?" she asked. Only curiosity laced that question, no anger or resentment.

"Yes." Feyre replied, feeling herself relaxing. "We decided to keep it. We'll, I did and I told him and well-" she breathed out. "Here we are."

They all stared at Feyre and then Ressina smiled brightly. "Congratulations, Feyre! That's so exciting!" she hopped from her chair and hugged Feyre, the others following her example.

"Is that why you avoided us the last few weeks?" Aranea asked curiously. "Did you think we would judge?"

"No, yes, maybe. It's complicated. I knew you wouldn't but I was scared nonetheless and we mostly meet for clubbing and that won't be an option for me. Not for a while and I just…I didn't want to lose you."

"You will not lose us!" Ressina said. Lorelei and Aranea nodded in confirmation. "It's exciting, isn't it? Actually I was thinking about who would be the first of us to have a child. Who's the father? I didn't know you had a boyfriend! I didn't know you were interested in dating at all. How far along are you? Do you know the sex of the baby already? "

"Calm down, Ressina." Aranea chuckled, "Let her breathe for a moment."

Feyre chuckled with her, a hand instinctively laying on her stomach. There was already a bump but Feyre was still able to cover it with baggy clothes. She took a deep breath, ready to tell them the truth, however shocking. "Okay, brace yourselves," she said, "His name is Helion, he's the owner of a well known club–"

"The Day Court!" Lorelei gasped. "Are you dating the owner of the Day Court?"

"No," Feyre laughed, warning confused looks. "We met at his club and instantly hit it off and we'll, I slept with him. We did keep in contact but just friendly, there aren't any romantic feelings. Then I was late on my period. I took a test, it was positive, I went to the doctor and she confirmed it – I'm pregnant. So I told Helion, told him that I wanted to keep it, with or without him but he had a right to know, " Feyre sighed,.lost in thought, "He was shocked of course, God knows I still am, but he's in. He wants to be a dad." Feyre swallowed, fighting the tears. These goddamn hormones. "Well, a few weeks ago we went to an appointment together and…" she exhaled. "It's still a shock, I'm sorry." Ressina took her hand again and Feyre continued. "It's twins."

Ressina and Lorelai gasped, Aranea's brows shot up in surprise. "No, I don't know the sex of the babies yet. I am twelve weeks pregnant."

"Twins?" Ressina asked. "Are you sure?"

"I am." Feyre laughed, pulling out the ultrasound and showing them.

As Lorelai and Ressina looked at it, Aranea said, "You really don't half ass things, do you?" she took a sip of her drink.

"Seems like I'm doing things double." Feyre replied.

They all laughed and finished their coffee date and then parted ways after asking a ton of questions that Feyre still didn't have an answer for. Aranea asked her where she would live because, of course, Feyre couldn't keep living in her tiny one room apartment. She needed time to figure it out. Feyre had time, she was only twelve weeks there was more than enough time to figure things out. Although, the universe didn't seem to agree with her because when she arrived at her apartment complex, she found an eviction notice in her mailbox.

It was five minutes later that she called Helion, sniffing as she furiously wiped tears away but they kept coming.

"Hey," Helion said but immediately stopped because hearing his voice just made Feyre sob harder. "Feyre? What's up?"

She tried to explain but only inaudible mumbling came out between her sobs. It was nearly impossible to calm down. Everytime she thought she could talk, another wave of sorrow hit her so hard that she cried again. "Are you at your apartment?"

"Yes." she cried, using her sleeve to wipe over face. She crinkled her nose and looked away.

"I'm on my way, stay where you are." Helion said.

"You're working." Feyre sniffled. She could already hear traffic on the other side of the call.

"Don't worry about that," Helion said. "Take a deep breath, drink some water and just wait there. I'll be there in a few, alright?" she heard a car door open and slam close.

"Alright." Feyre agreed. As much as she didn't want Helion to get away from his work because of her, she was glad that she wasn't alone. They hung up and Feyre leaned back in her chair, taking a few deep breaths like Helion instructed.

She was nursing a glass of water when he arrived, her face still damp from crying. "That was fast."

"I may have overlooked a stop sign," he admitted.

"Stop that! Be careful." Feyre told him, flopping on her chair and sighing in exhaustion.

"What happened?" Helion asked. Wordlessly, Feyre extended the letter, tears dwelling in her eyes once again.

When his gaze reached the bottom of the letter, she said, "I'm going to be homeless." her voice cracked.

"No, no you're not." Helion tried to soothe, crouching in front of Feyre. "I will never let that happen, understand?" Feyre nodded and he wiped away a tear. "They can't throw you out like that, we can take action against it."

"That wouldn't make sense," Feyre said, "I need to move out here sooner or later." She pointed at her stomach, then let her hand rest atop it.

Helion’s expression softened. She knew that he was as shocked as Feyre about the news, not believing that this was real. This was the first time Feyre saw that the realization fully sank in. They will be parents in a few months.

He rested his hands atop of hers, "Then you will live with me until we find you a fitting apartment." he promised.

"In your apartment?" Feyre asked, letting her thumb stroke over his.

"Or my house on the outskirts of the city. Or my beach house. Or–"

"I get it." Feyre rolled her eyes but smiled, "You're filthy rich, congrats."

Helion laughed, his eyes crinkling. "You know I also own a farm."

"Do you have horses?"

"I do."

"You need to show me someday." Feyre said.

"It would be an honor. I will show you everything." he said. Not an empty promise, Feyre realized as she looked at him. He meant it. "You'll move this weekend, alright?" he asked, as he looked at that cursed letter again. Feyre nodded. "And do not carry anything too heavy! I'll bring people to do that, don't you worry about it. I need you to promise me that."

Feyre smiled and threw her arms around his neck. "I promise. Thank you so, so much."

"No problem, Fey." he said.

They were silent for a few moments, only embracing each other until the sound of Feyre's ringtone broke the silence. She looked at the caller ID and her heart stopped for a second. "That's my sister."

"And?"

"We didn't talk for…i don't know how long." except the holidays, but she barely could call that talking. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Do you want to talk to her?" Helion asked.

Feyre nodded. "I'm scared, though." she looked from her phone to Helion. "I don't want to keep you away from–"

"I'll stay if that's what you want." he interrupted.

She smiled, squeezing his hand and exhaled. Then she accepted the call.

Taglist: @timesconvert

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #feyre archeron #feyre #feyre cursebreaker #high lady of the night court #high lady feyre #feyre darling #high lord helion #helion spell cleaver #helion #Helion x Feyre #Feyre x Helion #sjmcrackshipmonth23 #sjmcrackshipmonth #crackship #rare ship

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theonewhoimagined · 3 years

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we love morally grey fae males who love and simp over strong independent women.

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angelathewitch · 3 years

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Okay I just finished the ACOTAR series for the first time and I have so many thoughts so I'm gonna write them down.

Also I have not looked at any fan theories or been a part of this fandom very much so all these headcannons are straight from the noggin:

Literally what the fuck is tamlin doing.

Okay getting this out of the way cause its a hot topic. Azriel is my baby I love him but

I would have mixed feelings about him being with both gwyn and Elaine. I love the idea of Elaine being azriels sunshine he deserves light in his life (also their scene in ACOSF had me ejdjbdksks) but also all three bat boys being with all 3 sisters rubs me the wrong way idk.

Gwyn is amazing because she's a badass bitch and if azriel doesn't snatch that up I will. I feel like azriel almost gets bulldozed over by the other bat boys (like he will do the dirty work only because he feels inferior) And I want gwyn to help him stand up for himself.

Gwyn is an adult jfc. I'd be more worried about her trauma.

I am totally a elucien shipper I'm SORRY lucien deserves the world

But at the same time I would totally understand if Elaine couldn't forgive him for his involvement in the cauldron business. That shit was wack. I just want this relationship to be the biggest, most "period drama esqe" slowburn.

I have very mixed feelings about lucien. On one hand lucien has never had a home and when tamlin took him in I can see how that loyalty blurred the lines of right and wrong. But at the same time lucien messed up MANY times where the archeon sisters are concerned.

Nesta deserved her kick in the ass because it was needed. She did not deserve everyone to be a little bitch to her. It felt like feyre was the only one who wanted her rehabbed for nestas sake. I definitely would have preferred Nesta to hit rock bottom and choose recovery for herself (cause alcoholism and things can only be truly solved through self help) Everyone else was uncharacteristically nonempathetic. Idk how Cassian could be okay with her treatment after they mated.

I'm still digesting Rhys and nestas relationship. I like that they don't like each other for most of ACOSF. Nestas reasons for treating feyre poorly are valid, but not excuses. The feyre, Nesta, and rhys relationship thing is weird cause I see all sides. I need more feyre and Nesta bonding they always get interrupted.

I HATE what SJM did to Mors character. What the fuck is up with mor not liking Nesta. Maybe we will get an explanation in the next book but I feel like mor was set up to be a great LGBT character with himbo allies but SJM just dropped her off a cliff. Big mad.

However I do want eris and mor to end up together. Not necessarily romantically, but I want them to have it out and I want eris to support mor. Kinda want them to be mates. Kinda want eris to be gay as well. Kinda want them to get married and them have consorts.

WHY does everyone treat feyre like a porcelain doll when the IC has more collective trauma than anyone else in this universe. Don't get me wrong I'm all about the hurt/comfort but it was so inconsistently written LOL. When the IC was telling their stories the first night they met and then feyre told hers I cackled like sorry but she is a baby

Rhys's trauma is just as recent as feyres... yeah he's a lot older and seasoned but oh my GOD he was consistently assaulted for 49 years. Feyre does very little to comfort him. Idk I feel like it was SO glossed over.

Like in ACOWAR feyre admits that amaranthas hatred wasn't personal it was general, unlike Tamlins hatred. But amarantha and rhys had multiple personal vendettas against each other. Like his amarantha is vaguely feyres tamlin. Rhys didn't even get to kill amarantha. His trauma is untapped. Rhys is the main character feyre is the love interest idc

Idk what yall say rhys is my baby my lovebug my everything. He's got his flaws but you can't love Nesta and hate him at the same time without being a lil hypocritical

But he's fucked in the head for thinking he was justified in drugging feyre every night for 2 months. Almost more mad about that than the SA (I dont really blame Rhys since it is not cannon to me. SJM just messed up 😌 it was so out of character) did he ever really apologize for that??

ALSO I know smj wanted to write like #consentking but half of what he allowed was so unnecessarily dangerous (like the first AND second weaver encounter- if my SO ran off in the middle of a battle to track down a mysterious creature when the task could have been done after the battle I would have be livid. Mor was justified in being mad.)

I'm so mad rhys didn't flatten tamlin during the high lord meeting. Either it will happen in the future or I will burn these books.

THE BAT BOYS HAVE CONNONICALLY BEEN IN THE SAME ROOM WHILE HAVING SEX. the foursomes in my head gets clearer by the day

I HATE the fact that rhys almost had an existential crisis over feyre being so young when she found her mate and not having "lived" and THEN GETS HER PREGNANT??? Are you kidding me. I'm so mad. I don't wanna deal with babies. I hate babies.

But I DO have a fun headcannon that since the bone carver is a death-god or whatever he KNEW nyx wouldn't survive and that is why he appeared as him. Also when the bone carver offered to take feyres first born in exchange for help rather than the oroboughs I think that was also foreshadowing. The only reason nyx survived was because of Nesta and the bone carver had trouble seeing the cauldron.

((Maybe nyx should have died during the birth idk))

Literally I would have enjoyed ACOSF if instead of the pregnancy feyre was busy looking for bryaxis. Literally what happened to him. Wtf

I know the plot armor is crazy thick around the IC but it would have been nice if one of them died. Well, not nice, but more believable. Maybe thats why nyx should have died. Lol I need therapy.

FREAKING HEADCANNON: the archeon sisters are partially fae. Their mom was definitely a descendant and that's why all three sisters have mates. It was hinted that the sisters had mated because they were powerful and cauldron made but Cassian and rhys could feel the pull before the sisters were turned.

Tarquin is the hottest high lord

The whole blood rite thing was stupid. I would have loved if it was spread out over a longer period of time but it was so unrealistic

You know we all love a good #girlboss🤢 moment but the whole valkarie thing seemed 1. Out of no where 2. Really quickly forced (ACOSF should have been like 2 books) 3. If emerie and mor get together life=complete

The inner circle and ther archeon sisters would not get along if they weren't mated to like 50% of the gang

They're too whiny

It's so weird that the mating bond can only be felt by guys??? Lol wut

Okay I know this is a complicated subject but having LGBTs in a universe with mates based in evolutionary advantage seems more homophobic than having a universe without LGBTs LOL. Like their connection can't be as deep cause they can't procreate?? I did like that SJM made up for it a little by saying not all mates are complementary souls.

Hybern was so powerful and for WHAT. I don't understand

Vassa, lucien, and jurian being a trio is so weird 😐

I WANT A NOVELLA ON THE STORY OF AMREN AND VARIAN. They are my otp. If anyone has made it this far and knows of some good amren and varian fanart pls let me know

Okay that is all for now thank you if you read down to here xoxo gossip girl.

P. S. Also I am starting throne of glass and am having a hard time getting into it. Can anyone vouch for this series please I'm conflicted.

Edit: omg I was zooted when I wrote this and didn't realize my phone autocorrected cassian to Caspian RIP

#acotar #acosf #acosf spoilers #elucien #gwynriel #azriel #pro nesta #a court of thorns and roses #a court of war and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury

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ncssian · 4 years

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the perfect male

A/N: this is a verrry messy, unedited drabble that i wanted to post just for fun. i really like this scene concept and am planning to rework a much better version of it into a full-length fic later, but these are just my initial thoughts/ideas.

Description: Cassian learns who Nesta’s perfect guy is, and it’s not him. Crossover AU.

***

Cool air drifted off the Sidra, entangling with Nesta's scent and the sound of her laugh as she and Cassian made their way down the riverwalk.

"And you?" Cassian nudged Nesta with an elbow. "What's your idea of the perfect male?"

Nesta leaned into Cassian as they walked, her arm tucked into the crook of his elbow. "Oh, I already have the perfect male."

Cassian raised his brows in question and surprise.

"Hunt Athalar," she said simply.

Cassian almost choked on river air. "The captain of the 33rd Legion? The half-angel half-demon with the--?" He wiggled his fingers to indicate lightning.

"That's him."

"Doesn't he kind of look like..." Cassian trailed off.

 Nesta narrowed her eyes at Cassian. "Don't flatter yourself. I knew Hunt years before I even met you. He's always been my ideal backup male."

"Backup male?"

"You know," Nesta trailed. "The person you turn to when people in your life inevitably let you down. I always keep one on speed-dial; they're cheaper than ice cream and therapy."

Now Cassian was really intrigued. "And how does Hunt Athalar qualify to be the perfect backup male?"

"For starters, the perfect male is always there for me. He provides companionship and understanding and good sex during times of crisis, and I provide the same for him when necessary. He's always on my side, which is never difficult because he isn't a part of my usual social circle. There's no chance of him having loyalties or duties that conflict with his loyalty to me."

Cassian could visualize her checklist of needs in his mind, and he could see even clearer how he didn't meet any of those needs. He swallowed. "And you thought the son of the Star-Eater was the best choice of backup male?"

Nesta shrugged, as if Athalar's heritage meant nothing to her. "He understands me." She nudged Cassian's bicep with her head at that. "You know how hard it is for me to find people that can do that." Something in Cassian twisted at that, because yes, he did know. It was visible every time she blended into the background at a dinner party or family event.

He tried to come up with a comment that didn't reveal his utter incompetency. "That sounds...hard to top."

"It's not," she said, refusing to look at him as they walked. Her voice had hardened imperceptibly. "People just don't want to bother to put in the effort. That's why I need a backup male in the first place." She might as well have stabbed him in the chest and walked away. Even then, her logic wasn't clicking with him.

"If Athalar's so perfect, then why is he a backup?" Cassian said. "Why don't you just make him your boyfriend?"

Nesta's answering smile told him there were some things that he would never understand. "He's not it for me. Don't you hate it when that happens, when a perfect person comes along and you just know it can never work out with them?"

Cassian watched Nesta closely from the corner of his eye, how she walked and talked as if she was completely oblivious to how her words shook his earth. "I think I'm beginning to understand," he said, so low she must have missed it.

Cassian didn't know what to do with everything Nesta had handed to him. All this time, he'd thought he wasn't worthy of her because he was a bastard. In reality, he wasn't worthy of her because he was a dick. Nesta wanted--needed-- an ally, and he couldn't even provide her with that basic necessity. Not while he still worked for Rhys and Feyre.

They reached the door to her apartment building and slowed to a stop. Nesta's arm slid from Cassian's, the act unintentionally fanning the flames of his anger. Not at her, never her, but at himself. How was he incapable of providing her with something so simple as friendship and understanding?

"Cassian?" The sound of his name from her voice snapped him out of his head. "Are you alright?" Her face was as withdrawn as ever, but Cassian had watched her for long enough to notice the furrow of concern in her brow.

Cassian blinked. "Just thinking," he said. He needed to try--for her if not for himself. Not that Nesta needed him, clearly.

"Um," he tried to collect his scattered thoughts into a comprehensive sentence, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. Nesta only raised an eyebrow as she patiently waited for him to pull his shit together.

"Crescent City is pretty far from here," he finally said, dumbly.

"I'm aware," Nesta said.

"So if you ever need ice cream and therapy in this city..." He felt stupider by the second. "I'm free."

He rushed on before Nesta could smile politely and shoot him down. "I know I don't even meet, like, half the things on your list, but it doesn't have to be like that. I can--I can try...to be whatever you need," he finished weakly.

Nesta was frowning, now, in that way she did whenever she was taken aback. Cassian wished desperately he could read her beyond that.

It was quiet between them for the longest time. Slowly, very slowly, Nesta nodded. "I'll think about it," she said carefully. She didn't sound like she was lying to be nice.

Cassian wanted to tremble with relief. All she'd said was that she would consider confiding in him more often. "Okay," he breathed. "Okay."

"So...next time I date a shitty guy or get into a fight with my sister..."

"I'll be there," Cassian finished. "I'll be there." He couldn't stop repeating himself.

Nesta seemed to think about it a second longer. Finally, she reached for the building door.

"It's a difficult job," she warned him as she pulled the door open. "No benefits, and you'll have to work overtime to prove yourself."

"Good." He wasn't about to half-ass the once in a lifetime opportunity he'd just been given.

Nesta nodded one final time, and just before she slipped through the door and went inside, Cassian thought he saw the hint of a confused smile on her lips.

a/n: i wrote this at 2 am with my eyes half-closed sorry. i saw a theory on tumblr that said hunt’s father is the star-eater and it’s pretty much canon for me at this point. also credit to those who recommended hunt be nesta’s ‘backup’ guy, b/c that was interesting to write.

tagging: @sjm-things @ladywitchling @nikolai-lantsovs-bitch @thewayshedreamed, tell me if u wanna be removed at any time pls

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian fic #ncssianwrites #au #nesta

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theladyofdeath · 4 years

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In the Bleak Midwinter {19}

A Throne of Glass Period AU: 1920s.

Summary: 2 years after Arobynn Hammel is killed by Rowan Whitethorn, Maeve has returned from Eyllwe with a vengeance. Meanwhile, Rowan is getting married, Lorcan is a father, and Lysandra is finally ready to give her heart away. There’s been peace in The Cadre’s Orynth for 2 years, but peace never lasts.

A/N: So, uh, next chapter is the last chapter...

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

Links & masterlists:

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The Cadre - 1920s AU {TOG}

In the Bleak Midwinter {The Cadre, Part 2}

Gavriel’s hand hit the sergeant’s desk with a thump.

“We need to know where she is, and we need to know where she is, now.”

“I have no information,” Sergeant Nazari said, through gritted teeth. “I’ve told you as much ten times now, I don’t know when it’ll get through your head.”

Sergeant Nazari had been on the Cadre’s payroll for the past five years. He’d been incredibly helpful through the years, had saved all of their asses a million times, but in this particular situation, Gavriel was about to lose his shit.

He opened his mouth, prepared to scream at the man on the other side of the desk, but Vaughan’s hand gently rested on his shoulder.

Vaughan was right.

Nazari had never lied to them before. He was loyal.

If he was saying he didn’t know where Maeve was, he really didn’t know where she was.

“Fine,” Gavriel breathed. “If you find anything out-.”

“You’ll be the first to know,” Sergeant Nazari promised.

With a nod, Gavriel and Vaughan exited the station, pulling out their cigarette cases the moment they stepped out into the street.

“I don’t get it,” Gavriel began, shaking his head. “Someone in this damned city has to know where Maeve has holed herself up.”

He met Vaughan’s weary gaze.

“I know,” Gavriel sighed. “We’re running out of time.”

Vaughan nodded his agreement, his shoulders slumping, but his pace remaining steady as they walked back to their horses. After they mounted their saddles, they were hurrying out of town, back toward the estate.

When they returned, Rhoe and his men were standing outside, smoking, a worried Lysandra pacing in front of them.

“News?” Gavriel asked, before he even hopped off his horse.

Before anyone could answer, a car came speeding up the dirt drive, and Fenrys had the door open before Lorcan had it parked.

“They’re at the old Cartwright Manor!” he yelled, chest heaving, as if they’d been hurrying. Which, with such information, they should have been. “Since Cartwright died last year, it’s been uninhabited.”

The Cartwright Manor was only a few miles west.

“Let’s go,” Gavriel said, readying to mount his horse, yet again.

“We need a plan,” Lorcan said, turning off the engine.

“Like hell we do!” Gavriel yelled. “We’re running out of time!”

“And if we go in there with no plan and create chaos, we’re all going to fucking die!” Lorcan replied, slamming his door shut behind him.

Gavriel knew that Lorcan was right, but it still pissed him off to admit it. “Then what, pray tell, is the plan?”

Lorcan ignored Gavriel’s sarcastic comment. “I don’t fucking know, but I know we need one.”

“Before we all start fighting, because that’s where I see this is headed,” Fenrys began, stepping between them. “I have an idea.”

All eyes landed on him.

“I went to the Cartwright Manor, often, as a kid, Con and I,” he began. “I know the layout pretty well.”

“Why?” Gavriel asked, curiously.

“Is that information necessary right now?” Lorcan muttered.

“Our father was good friends with Mr. Cartwright,” Fenrys answered, plainly. “The servant’s entrance is in the back. There’s this creepy, narrow old tunnel beneath the kitchens, I assume they’re probably being held there. Con and I used to joke that that’s where old Cartwright took his prisoners. Through the servant’s entrance, just to the left, there’s a door. Most mistake it as a coat closet, but it’s a staircase that will lead you downstairs.”

Lorcan nodded, slowly. “We have no idea how many of Maeve’s men are there.”

“True,” Fenrys agreed, and nodded to Rhoe and his men. “But we have them, and plenty of ammunition.”

“So, what?” Gavriel asked. “We break through the servant’s entrance and start shooting?”

Fenrys blinked, shrugging. “Do you have a better idea?”

Gavriel blew a puff of smoke into the air.

No.

No he didn’t.

“We’re all going to die,” Lorcan muttered.

From there, no one said a word. Maybe Lorcan was right, maybe they’d all get shot, maybe Maeve’s men would completely overpower them and everything leading up to this point would be all for nothing.

Elide’s death.

Connall’s death.

Every night they had laid awake, unsure of their futures.

Every anxious day, every agonizing hour, every trip to the hospital or sighting of blood.

But they wouldn’t leave Aelin there, wouldn’t leave Rowan there.

He was their leader.

So Gavriel tossed his cigarette into the dirt and stepped on it. “Let’s reload.”

~~~~~

Rowan had always hated Maeve.

When he was younger, he used to have nightmares of Maeve as an old witch who lived deep in the woods, eating children, like the one from Hansel and Gretel. As he grew older, he felt foolish for ever feeling such a thing, but now, he was right back to imagining her as his living nightmare.

His head hurt, dominantly from the gash on the side of his head. His vision was blurred, blood trailing down his chin. He was fairly certain he had lost a tooth.

Or two.

He could deal with teeth, though. It was the least of what he was about to lose.

Although he had no idea what time it was, he had caught glimpses of the sun high in the sky as he was dragged out of his room with Aelin and brought into a different one. She had cried, screamed as they took him, but he had told her that he loved her, that he would see her soon.

Even though he had no way of knowing if that were true.

He was tied to a chair, weak, weaponless, waiting.

The walls around him were covered in wallpaper, although the windows had been boarded up. He was somewhere upstairs, somewhere in the main living area. There was an oil lamp on a small table not far from him, but aside from that and his chair, the room was empty.

And the old, Persian rug beneath his feet.

The rug that was splattered with his blood.

He groaned, just wanting it all to be over. Everything had gone on for too long, and he was over it, done.

Waiting was the worst part, and all he had been doing for months now was waiting.

He could hear her slow, steady footsteps before she appeared in the doorway.

“Hello, nephew,” she crooned, meandering inside until she was standing only a few feet in front of him.

“Where’s Aelin?” he asked, although his swollen lips had trouble moving.

“Does it matter?” Maeve asked, shrugging. “Wouldn’t stop crying, though. Had to muffle those sobs before I went insane.”

She cocked her head, her eyes glowing.

She had gone insane long ago.

“She goes home.”

Maeve watched him for a moment in silence before a humorless laugh shook her petite frame. “Are you bargaining with me?”

“Let her go home,” Rowan repeated. “Her, and the baby. Let them go home, safely, and I’ll do whatever you want without a fight.”

The room fell into silence, Rowan’s declaration, his promise, echoing in the minimal space.

“I’m beginning to think you’re delusional,” Maeve said, slowly.

“Aelin,” he repeated, a growl underlying his tone. “Gets to go, unharmed.”

“You’ve repeated that, over and over again,” Maeve said, her pretentious grin disappearing. “It’s growing old.”

“Then agree,” Rowan snapped.

“You see, this is where you’re mistaken,” Maeve began, pacing back and forth in front of him. “You’re not in the place to make a bargain. Either way, you die, and Aelin’s safety means nothing to me.”

“Surely you don’t hate me that much,” Rowan said, meeting her gaze. “Let Aelin go free. Please.”

Please. He was sincere when he said it, a word he had never used sincerely with his aunt before. If he wasn’t tied up to a chair, he would be down on his knees, begging, pleading.

Maeve watched him for a long moment, the room going back into silence. Rowan could hear her men walking around downstairs, their boots heavy on the wooden floorboards.

With every step he heard, his heart beat a little faster.

“Maeve,” he growled, when the silence became too unbearable.

Her eyes darkened as her lips twisted into a cruel smile. “Aelin has already been….released.”

There were a lot of different words Maeve could have chosen, but released was one that confused Rowan, pissed him off.

It was a word that could mean so many different things, but every meaning Rowan thought of only made him feel sick to his stomach.

His jaw locked. “Where is she?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@mariamuses @garnet-29 @writer-reader-traveller @rowaelin-cressworth @space-buns-arsinoe @negativenesta @empress-ofbloodshed @the-regal-warrior @starseternalnighttriumphant @westofmoon @sammyjojaaaa @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @carbconnoisseur @acer6437 @lorcansalvatearupmyheart @cool-ish-nerd @mynewdreamwasyou @mourning-razorlust @thespiritualrider @rowaelinforeverworld @didsomeonesayviolin @gloriouspaintercreatorbandit @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks @queen-of-glass @the-dark-swan @http-itsrebecca @holdingon-21@babycardan @tswaney17 @mollycateoc @chemicha @bat-wing-rhys @exersize-me-i-dare-u @thespiritualrider @luna-the-little @morebooks-pls @shyvioletcat @hermajestyanna @a97girl @stardustsroses @queenofthemoon22 @alifletcher2012 @awkward-avocado-s @faerie-queen-fireheart @cwheart @lovemollywho @emilyrose111294 @nerdperson524 @sleeping-and-books @cursebreaker29 @flora-and-fae @feyrethedarklady @the-dark-swan @rowaelinforeverworld @sjmsstuff @januarystears @mis-lil-red @acourtofmoonlight @rowaelinforeverworld @courtofmaasdestruction @jjellybean @thewayshedreamed @wind-drinker @aelin-rowan-whitehorn @starseternalnighttriumphant @hurema @http-itsrebecca @lorcansalvatearupmyheart @cityofchelsea16 @januarystears @iliketoasterstrudels @lightitup-bryce @yikesitsmaddie @feyrethedarklady @i-love-all-books @keshavomit @sleeping-and-books @scarznstars @http-itsrebecca @cat5313 @moondancer-204 @booklover242 @belamoonbeam @they-call-me-cuatro @b00kworm @mu-si-ca-l @thegayerpotato @abraxos-is-toothless @keshavomit @musicdreamer003 @superspiritfestival @sailorsassley @mymultiversee @alxanxah @viviaannvu123 @mysweetvillain @theghostlyharrypooperfan @highqueenofelfhame @shyvioletcat @maastrash @the-third-me @rinad307

#1920s au #period au #pb au #tog

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abruisedmuse · 4 years

Note

can we get a drabble for jurdan + this is gospel by panic! pls 🥺 CONGRATS ON 1K BABES!!!! 🥳💞💞

The Fear Of Falling Apart

Warnings: mention of death, mention of alcoholism. HEA (for the most part)

Song of choice: This is gospel-Panic! At the disco

And thank you love!!! Thanks for always supporting all my crazy ideas. p.s. Sorry if this hurts babes. I promise I have smut in my docs for you.

Jude sat in the aged recliner next to the hospital bed. Unsure of how much time had passed stuck in the cold room. Only the sounds of beeping monitors and the low murmur of tacky infomercials from the tv overhead. Then of course his breaths. Deep and shallow as he slept. The same way his chest rose and fell.

She roved over his slumbered state. Thick, soft inky black hair messily brushed to the side. A hauntingly beautiful contrast to his ivory toned skin. Which looked more on the scale of ghostly pale than a glimmering white. His lips, full yet dry and chapped. Her guess was from all the content he spilled from whatever liquor he consumed. Amber eyes moved to the various tubes connecting him to the monitor. Keeping him steady. Keeping him alive.

Jude loved Cardan. Cardan loved Jude. It wasn't that simple.

Not where alcohol was involved. For Jude, no matter how much he loved her. He seemed to favor drinking a tad beyond it. Her pleas for him to get help fell upon deaf ears. His friends...only cared for his wallet and line skipping. They were no help to her cause. She's fairly certain the staff at Insmoor General Hospital know her by name. For how many times, Cardan had needed his stomach pumped. Like always she drove as fast as her car could go. Jude would wait for the nurse or doctor, letting her know of his condition. This time it was a nurse who approached her. The words the nurse spoke were more like sharp knives that she knew would leave scars. That would haunt her.

"your boyfriend's heart stopped for ten minutes."

Ten minutes. Cardan had died for ten minutes. In one single sentence, her entire world shattered. The fear of him being a broken memory stole the very breath from her lungs.

Even now when she looked at him in peaceful rest. She could picture him laying there. Motionless. No movement under the thin blankets. No beeping from the monitors letting her know he was alive. Few things frightened Jude. Losing Cardan. No matter if it was seconds or minutes. terrified in a way she could barely hold a grasp of.

Usually, when he drank heavily, she saw red. Furious at him for indulging in copious amounts. Until the rage and anger fell away. She'd lay in bed with him. Telling him, how much it worried her. He always promised to get better. He never did. A vicious circle, a dance with death. All it would take is a misstep in the routine to slip and flip. Cardan had gone and done just that. Apart of her wanted to scream at him until her lungs burned and her cheeks turned deep crimson as they did when her frustration with him hit its highest point. Tonight the thought of never hearing his criminally wicked tongue again weighed heavier than anger. For Jude, she felt as if she was on a cliff. Mere inches from falling apart.

Her hand trembled as she reached over, slipping her hand into his. It was barely warm, like death still hung around him. Readying to take him into a permanent slumber. Jude squeezed his hand, nails digging below the skin of his fingers. He didn’t grip back. If she didn’t study his face at that moment, Jude would have never caught the slight flinch from his lids. Good. If she was lucky he would hear her.

“Cardan,” Jude took a calming breath, running a thumb over his knuckles, “I-I don’t know what to do anymore,” the hot sting of tears burned against the lining of eyes, she swallowed thickly. It didn’t prevent the wetness trickling down her cheeks or the way her voice cracked when she continued, “I want to hate you right now,” gnashing her jaw together and then losing it,” I want to slap or threaten you. And then tell you…” another breath. Jude wasn’t sure if she felt a featherlight squeeze or imagined it, “That..that if you loved me Cardan. You would let me go. Because. Because,” her tone rose an octave too high, her lips trembled. Shaking the way her body was as her heart twisted in agony, “I can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore. But-”

To her surprise, his hand squeezed back. Jude flicked her gaze to his eyes. The lids pulled back as he slowly blinked awake. The slow trickle of tears turned to an endless stream. Jude made to take her hand away. He held on to her. Like she was a tether to this world. To his world. A grip so tight she could feel the cool clammy sweat between their palms. He groaned trying to reach up and wipe the wetness staining her cheeks. He was still too weak and fell back on to the bed. Jude rubbed her tears away with the opposite hand. A tired grin fell on his lips.

“Jude,” Her name on his lips came out in a rasp, from sleep or what he endured she couldn't say. Cardan’s handsome features twisted like saying her name physically pained him.

Again Cardan tried to ignore the pain in his body as he attempted to rise. Jude moved to the edge of the bed thigh to thigh with him. Being this close to him. She fell off that cliff headfirst. Letting him see the damage he had done to hear that night. If this didn’t work she wasn’t sure there was anything else she could do besides walking away. Jude refused to give up. Not without one final fight. Cardan rested his head against her shoulder, an arm draped lazily around her. There was power in his fist as he clung to her. Fingers grasping at the back of her shirt. Jude copied his movements. The only difference was she felt hands running through her auburn strands in calming strokes. Her body shook against him as she finally, truly gave into the fears of what his habits did to her. Jude knew her sleeve matched his own. Soaked and used as a tissue. Cardan’s grip tightened around her with every shaky breath, every sniffle from either of them.

Jude willed herself to pull away, catching his face in her hands. Their foreheads touching and she could still smell the reek of alcohol on him. Almost like he wore it as cologne. She should ask him how he felt if he needed anything. Her emotions for once bested the thought.

“I want to hate you right now,” she choked out, biting back a sob, “because I hate what you’re doing to yourself. I hate that you’re not taking this seriously. For ten minutes. Ten minutes Cardan you died. You left me in this god damned world, you insufferable bastard. And for what?” her pitch rose with every word.

“I know.”

“I wish I could leave you. I want to,” Jude pursed her lips before continuing, Cardan only stared at where their thighs touched. She hoped it was shame that made him unable to look her in the eyes, “I’m... I couldn’t live with myself if, if, “ she stumbled trying to find the words. Too many thoughts were racing and pulsing in her mind. Jude couldn’t grasp onto one long enough to articulate it fully.

“Jude,” his eyes finally lifted under thick long lashes to meet hers. Dark circles encased around his coal eyes, “I had. No. I have failed you. And you should. I love you enough to let you go,” she was quiet, her expression unreadable as he coughed, “I know I died. Explaining it is difficult, but I know it,” gingerly he cupped her cheek, wiping away a stray tear with the tip of his thumb, “I should have stayed dead. This is a second chance. I am a sickness that needs to be cured.”

“What are you saying?”

He took in a breath and released it, “I need help.”

Jude wasn’t sure what stole the air from her lungs first. Cardan’s admittance or the way he held her. Arms wound around her like she was his lifeline, a saving grace. Like Jude was his gospel.

Taglist: @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @hizqueen4life @clockworkgraystairs @b00kworm @negativenesta @sjm-things @whataboutmyfries @justgiu12 @illyrian-bookworm @thesirenwashere @ireallyshouldsleeprn @forbiddencorvidae @vanessa172003 @thewickedkings @sleeping-and-books @thefolkofthefic @yafandomsdotnet @aknymph @alittledribbledrabble @iminsanenotobsessed @figuredihadanodustollensofalife @df3ndyr @awkward-avocado-s @maastrash

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#jurdan #jurdan fic #jude duarte #cardan Greenbriar #this is gospel #sadness #and I'm sorry #but not really #I'm in my feels #patd #slightlyrebelliouswriter23 #usernite #all my tags disappeared 😫#mutual mixtape #becca writes

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maastrash · 4 years

Note

can u write 8- fights for feysand pls

of course! I don't really write feysand that often so I’m sorry if this ooc !

but to everyone asking yes my prompts are open! I already got a few so I’ll be working on them this week :) you can submit a prompt from here or here or ofc your own!

Ok enjoy:)

“Rhys I’m going alone and there’s nothing your jealous ass can do to stop me.” Feyre practically growled as she tugged her arm out of his grasp.

Rhysand ran his fingers through his hair clearly trying to hold back saying something he’d regret. They’d been going in circles having the same fight for a week. Tamlin, Feyre’s controlling ex wouldn’t leave her alone and she was tired of it. She recently told him to meet her at the local bar where she could tell him off once and for all. Not only was it reckless, but she wasn’t even planning to tell Rhys. If he hadn’t happened to see the texts, he never would have known.

“For the last time, I am not jealous,” Rhysand gritted out. “I’m worried about your safety, Feyre.” It was like they were fighting over two different things.

“I already told you I can handle myself,” she said grabbing her bag off the counter, still planning to leave.

“And I told you Tamlin is unpredictable and I don’t want you alone.” She just didn’t understand how dangerous Tamlin was. She wasn’t hearing him. Rhys knew from first-hand experience that Tamlin ruins lives.

“You are not the boss of me,” she muttered under her breath as she slipped on her shoes.

“Were you even going to tell me?” His eyes were clouded with anger? No, sadness and a hint of worry. Feyre looked at the floor not being able to meet his gaze any longer.

“If you go, we’re done,” Rhysand said, voice breaking as if it physically hurt him to say the words.

Feyre paused in her tracks, hand still on the doorknob. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” This time it was Rhys who couldn’t meet her eyes. “If you can’t see how irrational this is I can’t help you.” He paused, “and clearly, you don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s going on in your life or value me enough to listen to what I have to say.”

Feyre couldn’t help it as one tear slipped from her eye. She wiped it away quickly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing how he hurt her. “Then I guess we’re done.” She gave him one last withering glance before stepping out the door and not looking back.

Rhys stood there as Feyre slammed the door behind her. He leaned against the wall for support and slowly dropped to the ground. He was a gods damned idiot. Feyre was only trying to tell off Tamlin so she could move on. No, so they could move on together. Instead of supporting her and being there for her, he had turned on her. He tried to control her as Tamlin had and it wasn’t even his place. He barely even gave her the chance to explain. Damn him.

He quickly threw on a sweatshirt and grabbed his keys. He’d make sure she was safe and then beg for her forgiveness. He knew one thing for sure, he couldn’t lose her.

Feyre walked into the bar and immediately saw Tamlin’s bright blond hair. It stuck out against the dark lighting of the room like a sore thumb.

“Ok I’m here and Rhys is not now will you stop threatening him and me,” she didn’t waste any time. She wanted this to be in and out so she could go back to Rhys and show him everything was fine.

“Feyre,” he drawled, clearly already drunk.”Why don’t we talk outside its awfully stuffy in here.”

She rolled her eyes as Tamlin led them out. “I’m serious Tamlin I better not hear from you again or I will be going to the police.”

“Is that a threat Feyre?” he asked raising a brow.

It is.” Feyre said. Satisfied with the conversation, she turned to leave, but Tamlin had other ideas. He quickly grabbed her arm. Hard. So hard that she was forced to face him again.

“We’re not done here.” And as he said the words Feyre realized where they were. A secluded alley. Where no one could see or hear them.

“Well, I said we are.” She did her best to keep her rising panic at bay. “Now let go of me,” she finished, stronger than she felt.

“No.”

And as Tamlin’s grip tightened on her wrist she realized maybe Rhys hadn’t been overreacting after all.

tags @illyriangarbage // @court-of-fuck-me-daddy // @girlnovels // @aelinninielelain // @julesherondalex // @rosehallshadowsinger // @ifangirlninja // @dreamerforever-5// @queen-of-wings-and-fire // @rhysanoodle // @jemma-nessian-and-elriel // @books-and-words-addict // @nightinshadow // @wolffrising // @the-regal-warrior // @dreamingofalba // @abillionlittlepieces // @alitzeldiaz // @kylizzles // @queenmaas // @illyrian-bookworm // @aspillofstars // @b00kworm // @tswaney17 // @girl-who-reads-the-books // @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn // @abraxos // @perseusannabeth // @acourtofmarauders // @sweetlyvillainous // @awesomelena555 // @notyournymphetish // @ladywitchling // @aesthetics-11 // @sjmships // @iammissstark // @illyrianwitchling13 // @moondancer-204 // @sjm-things // @foolsinlove // @sayosdreams // @welcometothespeaknowworldtour // @flourishandblottsx // @stardelia // @julemmaes // @thewayshedreamed // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @keshavomit // @cursebreaker29 //

#car answers #car writes #answered #request #feysand #my writing #feyre x rhysand #rhysand #feyre archeron

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cinaja · 4 years

Note

have you done drakon yet for the character ask thing? bc if not then drakon pls!

I haven't done him yet! So, here we go:

How I feel about his character:

When I first got into the characters from the War, I actually was much less interested in Drakon than in the others. I think that whole "getting engaged to a slave-owning, sadistic asshole and meeting your future wife because she is the engagement gift" didn't exactly endear him to me😂 It also doesn't help that there's not all that much concrete information on him beyond that (although there are a few hints that I used later).

By now, I obviously like him a lot. Although I have to admit that with the way I wrote him for my fic, I specifically wanted him to be a character I like. (Me coming up with his character was basically 50% "I need a non-weird explanation for that whole engagement mess" and 50% "I don't want to write another brooding, snarky warrior with a tragic past".)

I like that Drakon is just a genuinely kind person who mostly just wants to do the right thing. I also find a (male) character who is more into books and academic things than fighting is very refreshing.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Miryam. I wrote about that already in the ask I got about Miryam, but I'll just add a bit. At first, I wasn't really into that ship (I actually prefered Miryam and Jurian) because I really didn't like the implications of her choosing a Fae over a human. What won me over for their relationship in the end (other than me coming up with another way to see that choice) was that their relationship just seems very soft. It's really my favourite kind of relationship when the characters just have a sweet, commited relationship without much drama.

My non-romantic OTPs for this character:

(yes, I changed that to plural because I just hate that I'm only allowed to choose one friendship.)

I really like him and Jurian as friends. Partially because I really hate the trope of "two guys in love with the same woman hate each other" but also because there's just so much potential for a friendship between them. On a side note, I'm not so far away from having to write their falling out and IT'S BREAKING MY HEART!

I also like his friendship with Nephelle and Sinna, although I suppose that is more like a family relationship, with Nephelle as an older sister of sorts and Sinna as some kind of mixture between older sister and parental figure. (I really love that dynamic bc TECHNICALLY, Drakon is Sinna's superiour, but neither of them seem to fully realize it so he very much has to ask for permission for certain things and gets yelled at if he does something stupid. It's really funny to write.)

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Idk if there are any unpopular opinions, bc I'm the only one writing posts about him😂 But since I'm sure this would be unpopular: Him and Miryam are a million times more competent as rulers than Rhysand and Feyre and I'm TIRED of the narrative pretending that Rhys is such a good ruler and "still working for peace" even though all he does is clean up his own messes, while Miryam and Drakon, who managed to create a functioning system where humans and Fae live together in peace, are given shit for "dancing off into the sunset". (I'm sorry, I can't let go of that line, it pisses me off so much.)

What I wish had happened with this character in canon:

There are lots of things! (Basically all my headcanons being true.) But I think I'll settle for the beginning of his relationship with Miryam being explained in a less weird way. It would have taken maybe two sentences to make it perfectly fine! Unfortunately, sjm doesn't seem to understand that "she was given to him as an engagement gift" is an EXTREMELY weird start for a relationship that maybe needs some explaining (most notable 1) a really damn good reason for that engagement and 2) making it clear that he only falls in love with her later). And if there was EVER a relationship that SHOULD NOT have involved a mating bond (aka belonging to each other), it's this one.

#me shamelessly pretending my headcanons are canon for the ask?#sure!#thank you for the ask😊#drakon #acotar #asks #before the Wall

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