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#poor lil cockroach
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peterpandiedtoday · 2 years
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can’t rly speak on gxd today because i had to leave the museum early but then again i left to see my man my the only munk i ever loved man and he was not mic cursed today for once <33 so maybe.. that was the lord. and got my griz and my carbucketty all was well 😌
#personal Davy#mungo was in a funny goofy silly mood and a bit touchy today. went to interact with carbucketty a bunch of times rubbing his chest with his#hand but also with his own chest? oki dokes. and got into a kicking fight with cori during skimble except he was in his tube In the train#so they kicked under the train sheet and mungo was turned sideways and kept getting on his toes to look at cori over the train through#the little hole in the tube lol#gus was also in a silly mood but he usually is. more than mungo. kept batting at munk and received bats on the head back but all friendly#and annoyed cockroach bill bailey to the point poor billy boy started hitting backwards at him before he could escape forward#he often catches that mouse or insect during tugger and shakes it in his hand? but today he put it in his mouth spit it out and threw it#to skimble who.. ate.. it?#yea. bill bailey tried to army crawl to old deut through munk's legs and it almost worked had he not been so slow. munk didn't notice!#Tugger uuh kind of.. lost bomba during the part where they f? i guess it was a balance thing when he put her down but he ended up on the#wheel stairs instead of bomba who like sat on him sideways in the end and got off of him like he usually gets off of her lmao she was still#laughing when she walked away and immediatelly went and told rumpel who also giggled for a second before she had to run#not saying tugger gets p***** but he does and he did right there today#when he and munk slept in the oven he took up the whole thing spreading his legs and putting one foot on munk's back who was chilling his#upper body on the door and when they got up tugger scooted over and rubbed sleepy munk's back apologetically. was v cute#just love love love that about fetterle munk that when they get up he actually acts sleepy and slightly disoriented and he's so goood at it#and during skimble tugger massaged munk's thigh steadily moving upwards until munk looked and he quickly took munk's tail and wiggled it#while looking a lil embarrassed. he just likes touching peeeople shh who doesn't like a random mid show one thigh massage hm#oo and today's the first time i noticed but snova mac is the only one i've seen here that properly Jumps on munk's back ilu mr snova#a little kid couldn't stop laughing after mac exploded the lights which then had us laugh too. good one good one#yk what else i just remembered instead of trying to pull deme that first time where tanto usually breaks the connection he didn't magic pull#her he slammed himself into her held her then threw her to the side. was a very interesting change much to think about
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wayfayrr · 9 months
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Cannibros the interlude with cal and wild
this was written with my lovely wives @angry-trashcan and @neverchecking <333 It's a continuation of these two fics! It was so stupidly fun to write - like anything working with my wives <3 - and this time no one gets eaten! It's about 4.5k words of househusband au world building and is just <33
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“Wild was gonna light someone on fire. No, not quite a someone. That would infer they were little more than a pest he was gonna squash between his toes. Little more than a dead cockroach walking. Wild would show that little shit what was coming to him. It was just a matter of time before he slipped up and Wild could pin him in a corner and give him the worst wedgie he’s ever received-
“Woah there, champ-” Twilight quickly grasped his arm, slowing the stewing teen down to a halt. “What’s got your britches in a bunch?” 
“That little, no good, down right awful, bottom feeding, waste of a good set of lungs-” 
Twilight raised a brow. “...Are-...Are you talking about Wind?”
Wild fought the urge to hiss at the name of ‘He-who-Shall-Not-be-Named’. “Don’t say his name.”
“...Enil-?”
This time Wild did hiss, throwing up his hands with his fingers curled into claws.”DON’T-”
 “DAD! DAD WILD WON’T STOP CALLING ME INSULTS!”
“Mother fucker…”
“Great, you see what you did Twi, you encouraged him”
Nursing the fresh bite on his arm that he got as wind struggled out of his hold that he barely managed to get him into, barely, barely getting him and twilight interfered. Now all he has to show for it is the growing bruise on his forearm.
“GET BACK HERE YOU LIL’ SHIT!”
“You two need to cut the shit.” Twilight hissed, grabbing at Wild’s arm.
“He need to leave me alone!” Wind cried out, running around Sage’s back and hiding behind it.
“I need to eat you fuckin’ alive.” Wild yelled lunging towards Wind. Wind cried out, hiding behind Sage completely. Sage rolled his eyes, laughing a bit. Twilight did the same.
“I think you two need to go to bed is what needs to happen.” Sage pulled Wind around to the front of him before pushing him in the direction of his room.
“Dad he’s going to kill me!”
“He ain’t gonna kill ya.” Twilight laughed, doing the same to Wild with a small huff.
“You don’t KNOW that, though!” The kid retaliated, turning to watch Wild snarl at him like some form of predator. He wasn’t scared of Wild, oh no, but he did want to save his poor ego the blow once Wind kicked his butt. 
“You have my scout’s honor, pup.” Twilight winked. It did not reassure Wind. Twilight was not, was never, and probably would be a Scout. 
He was going to die. And they were going to let it happen. He knew he should’ve donated Wild to the local animal rescue when he had the chance. 
“Are you two still fighting over the last kinder?”
“Stay out of this cal.”
“So you are then?”
His smug look did nothing to help calm wild down, and seeing the look worsening like that did nothing to help reassure wind either. Not that it was supposed to. Cal being the “innocent” one that he is could afford to rile them up all he pleased but never have the blame fall onto him. Why would the top of the class student do that after all? “Wind shouldn’t have taken something that wasn’t his, He knew it was mine.”
“He’s a pirate - he was a pirate, can you blame him?”
Something about that little bit actually stuck wind worse than anything else that was said to him by wild earlier. The reminder that the things he cared for like that were stuck far in his past now.
Wind froze in his spot, looking down. “You didn’t have to fuckin’ remind me.” He whispered, turning to the hallway. “The damn egg is in the second drawer in the kitchen. You can have it.”
Cal watched as he went down the hallway before Wild hit the back of his head, “You idiot. Why’d you say that?!” He rubbed the place he hit him, not looking away from the hallway. “Did you get some kinda joy out of that?”
Cal shook his head, “No, I just wanted you to shut up. It was annoying.”
Wild hit him again, this time in the ribs. “You’re fuckin’ annoying.” He turned to the hallway himself, making his way to the twin’s shared room.
“Calcifer, that wasn’t okay. You know that.”
“How would you know what’s okay? Your moral train isn’t exactly linear.” Cal snarled angrily, hackles raising as he watched Sage carefully. Something flickered in his gaze, something quick and something damn near dangerous before it fell away. A twinge of regret bubbled in his gut at the reminder that he had hurt Wind in his anger, an innocent party in all of this really (Well, Semi-innocent, he did steal that damn-forsaken egg). But Wind was gone and all that was left in front of him was Twilight and Sage. Twilight, who he was sure was in on it as well and Sage. The mastermind behind it all. He didn’t think of Sage as overly smart, but since the revelation a part of him knew better. Sage was smarter than the rest of them thought he was. 
“I have enough of one to still know what is and isn’t right.” “...”
The dirty glare leveled towards his “father” was enough to both chill the room and clue them into the fact that he knows something that by Sage’s standards he shouldn’t. Not enough to know what it is that he knows, but enough to know. 
“You should keep a closer eye on Wind, you don’t want him learning the wrong things, do you?”
“What are you implying with that Calcifer… what would I ever need to be careful of him learning, I know what to be careful of.”
“Well after all you and I are rather similar… I’m just… better.”
The silence was enough to chill the room even further, making it easily mistaken for a freezer, clearly he said something that pushed Sage’s limits.
Sage’s eyes were like daggers on the boy. “I think you should go to bed, too.”
“You’re trying to send me off too?”
“Cal-”
“The only use for a motor not meant to start, is to become an expendable part.” Cal breathed out, looking to the ground.
“Cal, I agree. Go to bed.” Sky spoke up, standing from the table. 
Cal looked over to him, his eyes void of anything signifigant. “You too? You’re just going to push me away?”
“That’s not what I’m saying-”
“Goodnight.” Cal turned to the hallway, his hands digging into the pockets of his pajama pants as he did. He rolled the recorder over in his hand, flipping the switch to the ‘off’ position. He sighed heavily before he opened the door to his shared room
Left behind, eyes trailing after the boy, Sage felt his lips fall into a scowl. How dare he. Did he not understand what Sage had given up for him? For them? For this Family?! And for him to imply that he did something immoral to get what he wanted? 
,,,He was right, but that wasn’t the point. He shouldn’t have suspected anything to begin with. Sage’s ear flickered as he licked at his gums. Calcifer was digging into things he shouldn’t be. And that was dangerous. Didn’t he see that? Did he not see that everything Sage was doing was for them? 
Slapping on a grin, he turned to Sky and Twilight. They watched him carefully. “You guys should head to bed too. It’s been a night.” 
They exchanged a look. Twilight took the initiative. “What about ya’?” 
Sage waved him off, “I’ll be right there. I’m just gonna go check in on Wars. Maybe check in with Wind. Won’t be too long. Don’t worry about me.” 
“.... don’t - I shouldn’t - I … I didn’t want to.”
“Well then little interloper, how are you holding up.”
Wars’ already quiet speaking silenced as he made his presence known next to him, the traumatised mumbles turning to sheer fear at the instigator standing - no -  sitting by him. Sage’s eyes giving away how he truly feels about the whole situation, a small amount of apprehension but at the same time there was also some sick and twisted pride in his eyes. Pride at seeing the captain so broken before him.
“Do you think you’ll crack anytime soon now captain? Or have I solidified your resolve enough to prevent anything that you could regret?”
“Take your time, there’s not too much of a rush to answer.”
Warriors didn’t look up from the bed, only listening to his words. Was he going to crack? What kind of question was that?! “I-” He fell short on words again, his breathing breaking back into short sobs.
“Oh, come on, none of that now.” Sage patted his back in a hardy manner, causing Wars to lean forward with every hit.
He tried to stuffle in his crying, daring to look up at Sage who was looking across the room. “You didn’t tell Legend already, did you?” 
“No! No-I would-”
“Good boy.” He patted his back again, looking over to him. “Now, if you’re alright, and gonna keep your mouth shut, I’m going to bed.” He stood from the bed, using Wars’ shoulder for support as he did so. Once he reached the door, he turned back to him. “Sleep well, don’t let the nightmares in.” He closed the door behind him.
That was problem one taken care of, now all that was left was the other one. Turning on his heel, he made his way to Cal’s room, a fire of pure fury igniting in his gut. He’d get to the bottom of this. If it was the last thing he did. 
<><><><>
Cal was pacing back and forth in front of his bed, the black screen of his switch staring up at him from where it laid on his bed. This was bad. So very bad. Sage was onto him. Sage was onto him and now it was just a matter of time before he was hunted down and pinned to the wall, having answers demanded from him left and right. If he was lucky, it would just be Sage. Twilight and Sky would be sent off to bed to minimise the damage.  
So it would just be Sage. Him and Sage. Alone. It would be fine. 
The door behind him slammed open and Cal whipped around, fingers twitching towards his bedside drawer. However, the blond he was expecting was not the one standing there. Wild was watching him carefully, a brow raised and pulling at his scars. “...Hey there, buddy…” He muttered, waving slowly. 
“HI- Hey….” Cal shook his head, resting his hands by his side once more. “Hello, Wild.”
“...You doing…okay? You really crossed a line back there.” Wild prodded, eyes watching the other’s figure before falling to the bed. “What’s that?”
“Don’t worry about it Atlas, it’s one of my roommates' things at uni. They just asked me to look after it.”
“Come onnnnn Cal, we share everything - We’re twins remember, we don’t do things alone.”
Cal’s face looked purely regretful and upset for a split second, knowing that they aren’t related - not in that way, more in the same person way. And that was all it took for Wild - for his brother to know that there is something heavy weighing on his mind. Something he needed to press for the details on.
“Whatever it is, it’s making you feel bad. Couldn’t you just give it back to them?”
“Not for a while. Till I get back to uni at the earliest.”
“Why not just hide it then, so then you don't have to worry about it? Or you know… tell me what it is to get it off of your mind??”
“No, it’s something I need to think on myself more.”
“Caaaalllllll-”
“I said no, Atlas.” Wild huffed, making his way to his own bed and sitting on it.
“You never share anything with me. You think you’re so much better than me since you went off to uni.”
“Wild-”
“It’s true! You can’t say it’s not!”
“It’s not true! I think you’re great!” Cal turned and faced his brother, throwing his arms open wide as he did.
“Oh, shut up. You know it’s the truth! I’m a no good wash up! That’s why Sky is only paying for your college and not mine. That’s why they still see me as a kid and not you. I’m older than you! Even if only by a few minutes but still!”
“Atlas, can you listen to me, pleas-”
“NO! I won’t listen to you! I’m tired of always listening to you!” WIld stood, pacing the room.
“Wild!”
His head shot over at his other name, “Don’t you dare call me that.”
“You need to listen to me and listen to me closely.”
“I already told you! I’m-”
“Wild- Atlas. This is important.”
“Oh, so it’s only important when it comes to things about you, huh? Because perfect Calcifer can do no wrong. Only fuck-up Atlas, right?” Wild shook his head, giving Cal the chance to close in, clamping his hands around the other’s arms. 
“Listen.” He began, swallowing harshly. His eyes went from the switch to Wild. This wasn’t Wind, so he had a shot. Wind believed everything Sage told him, no qualms about it. But Wild? Wild wasn’t tethered to the same degree Wind was. Cal could find an ally in his Twin. “This…This world? It…It’s not ours.” 
Wild scoffed, in his face like a heathen, trying to shrug off the hands. “Your crazy- Can you get your hands off’a me? Jeez, what have they been feeding you at Uni?”
“What have they been feeding you here is the real question.” Cal tightened his grip, a crazed look in his eye. “Atlas, I need you to listen very carefully-”
“We. Are. Not. From. Earth.”
“The thing you were asking me about, I’ll show you it, I’ll answer any questions you have. Just listen to me very carefully and you cannot. I repeat CANNOT tell Sage, or ANYONE what I’m going to tell you. Understood?”
Sheer aggression thinly veiled within Cal’s voice gave Wild the impression that his brother was being deathly serious, that despite his own feelings this was more important than him. That this trust wasn’t something to be toyed with, that if it was broken it would be impossible to repair.
“...okay.”
Breathing a sigh of relief cal, after checking the door was shut and unable to be opened took his switch and powered it on, briefly creating an account with a profile picture sharing his brothers face. Opening a game with it, so that he could have the full experience.
“I know ‘dad’ said games were bad, but just - just play it. Then tell me what you can remember.”
Handing the switch over to wild with a more pleading look now he got his first look at the game opened.
“Breath of the wild? What’s so important about it?”
“Please, just play it for a while before you ask questions. I am sure they will all be answered.”
Wild blew hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear and looking back down at the game in his hands. “How do I play?”
“It’ll tell you. Just read what it says. Use that stick to move.” Cal pointed out the joy stick, showing him how it worked.
Wild fell into silence watching the beginning cut scene. Cal’s eyes went between the screen and Wild’s, watching, waiting, for something. He went through the basic tutorial easily enough, claiming the Sheikah slate for his own and climbing out of the shrine. Conventaly missing the chests of clothes on his way. The doors opened, Link shielding his eyes from the bright sun as he stepped outside and onto the grass. Once he reached the edge of the cliff, Wild’s eyes went wide.
“This is… really pretty…” He muttered, eyes glancing about the screen. Cal took a few jagged breaths.
“That- That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” 
“...should there be more?” 
“...Yes?!” Cal was gonna commit a crime. “There should be so much more- I just- We don’t have time for this. Give me that.” While he demanded the switch back, he really just took it, exiting out to the menu once more. The profiles were switched over quickly as Cal reopened the game. This time, instead of the character stumbling out of a weird cave, Link was standing in front of some sort of house. It was beige and stone, with a sign in front. Cal moved the character forward for a second before opening the inventory and switching screens, clicking on some sort of block. The screen faded to black and it was handed back to Wild, who watched with wide eyes. The colors on screen flashed across his face, brown then an assortment of reds and blues. Rapid beeping and hurried footsteps rang out and Wild’s eyes widened, jaw hanging open. 
Cal swallowed. 
The doorknob to their room shook for a second. Then a knock. “Boys?”
Cal choked on his spit. Wild was still watching the memory playback, eyes now gleaming with the shine of unshed pearls, unresponsive to anything else around him. The knock cam back harder, faster, more desperate. Everything in Cal’s body was screaming at him. He knows, he knows, he knows, he knows, he knows, he knows- “Yeah, dad?”
Cal’s voice quivered. 
“Can we talk?”
“I-If you give us a minu-ute! I’m changing! I spilt something onto my shirt and it spread and I’m soaked so I’m - I’ll just be a few minutes!”
Please, oh please, just let him believe it. Just get enough time to get changed and rip the switch away from wild, to let him get the hint he needs to lie. It should be easy, it’ll be fine, everything will be fine, he’s the better one.
And the knocking paused, intime with Cal’s own heart.
“Okay. I’ll give you a few minutes to change - if you’re not in the main room, both of you, in ten minutes I’m coming into your room.”
Ten minutes. Ten minutes is perfect, he can change, he can come up with a somewhat convincing lie to get out of this, hide the switch and get a video alibi on his phone to claim why wild is so upset. 
He can do this. 
He can - Wild is crying. He’s full on crying. 
what , no - no he wasn’t supposed to get this upset, he was - he just wanted him to understand.
He watched the screen closely as he pulled his shirt over his head, digging another one out of a drawer. The screen faded to fuzz and black as he pulled it from Wild’s hands, new shirt going over his head. He knelt down, getting in his face. “What did you see?”
Wild shook his head, tears and sobs falling from him faster. “I- I”
“Wild, I need you to focus and tell me what you saw.”
“I- I saw me. It- I-” His blurry eyes met Cal’s, “I died, Cal.” Another broken cry came from him, shaking his whole body. 
Cal pulled him into his chest. “I know. I know it’s hard. But I really, really need you to focus and listen to me right now.” Wild nodded, tears wetting Cal’s new shirt. “Okay, good. Sage isn’t- he’s… up to something.”
“What- what do you mean?”
“I don’t… I don’t know for sure. But something is happening. And he tried to come in here while you were snapped out of it. We have to go talk to him in,” He checked the clock, “Six and a half minutes. So we need to put together out stories.”
“I can’t- I don’t want to lie.”
“Then don’t. Say you were taking a nap just now and I woke you up to come out. It’s not a total lie, is it?”
No. He supposed it wasn’t. That still didn’t make it right. Wild’s face scrunched up, cheeks made puffy by his most recent fit. Sage? As the bad guy? It just…didn’t commute. Right now, honestly, he just wanted to man to make it right. Sage has a way of just making things right. But Cal said they couldn’t tell him. “What do we do?” 
Cal swallowed. “...Our best, I guess.” 
Extracting himself, he quickly looked around the room. He needed an alibi. And he needed it fast. His eyes landed on a Capri-sun that Wind must’ve left in their room last time he was in there. With a curse under his breath, he quickly grabbed it, retrieving his previously discarded shirt before sacrificing the article of clothing (He sent a silent apology to whoever does the godforsaken amount of laundry in this hell house.). The juice quickly spread, drenching the shirt and making Cal wince. He liked that shirt. 
“Okay, the alibi is set in stone. If Sage asks, you were napping, I spilled juice on my shirt, I woke you up because he wanted to talk. Sounds good?” 
Wild gaped for a second before swallowing around his dry tongue, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah. Sounds good. I just-” He rubbed his cheeks and eyes, hoping to lessen the redness around them. “Yeah.” 
“If he asks about your red eyes, you smoked pot.” 
“Cal, no I did not. I had a bad dream.” 
“...Better idea.” 
“Of course, it's a better idea, why was pot the first thing you thought of? Sage would kill you - HE’D KILL ME!”
“I don’t know, red eye’s smoking - checks out.”
“Have you smoked??? Holy shit Cal that’s so illegal!?”
Silence was the only response to that, the wordless admission that he was right. That his ‘perfect’ younger brother wasn’t really that perfect. But this isn’t really what he should be focusing on at the moment, there are more vital things to worry about, for instance the - shit! Two minutes!?
“Right Wild, are you ready now. We only have one shot at this.”
“I am, given that you don’t go with the pot plan.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m going to tell Sky you smoke.” With a side eye to rival his ‘father’s’ Cal turned to his older brother with a smug smile, a truly shit eating grin. And with only one minute left till they face death.
“What makes you think he hasn’t smoked with me before?”
With that he threw open the door, making sure that it was loud enough to be heard from the living room. “Come on sleepy head.” He said out to Wild, nodding his head to the hallway.
Wild nodded back, following him out into the hall, closing the door tight behind him. “Why’d you wake me up?” He played along, his voice wavering a bit.
“I told you, dad wanted to talk to us.”
“Fine, fine.” They made their way into the living room, only to find Sage sitting on the couch. The only light in the room a lamp next to him.
“Nine and a half minutes.” Sage said, not looking over to the boys. “Thirty more seconds and I would have had to come on in myself.” He laughed a bit, pushing something up under the couch with his foot. “I’m glad you made it on time.”
“Me too. What is it that you wanted to talk about?” Cal asked, taking a seat on the edge of a chair across from him. Wild stayed standing next to him, jittering slightly.
Ur turn loser cinder I’m not a loser >:( Ur the loser neither of you are losers <3 (She’s talking to me, not you bailey) I hate that we cant get divorced bc then the whole world would then collapse.
“Why don’t you take a seat, Atlas? I’m sure you’re still tired.” Sage let a smile widen on his features, crossing one leg over another before leaning back. “It’s been a long night.” 
“You’re telling me.” Wild mumbled, quickly finding his own seat. He picked at the skin on his hand, tracing the scars there. His breath hitched in his throat. He looked up from his hand. Don’t think about your death. Don’t think about your death. Sage can probably read thoughts. 
“About earlier,” Sage rolled his shoulders. “...What’s going on with you two today? Normally, you're a little more…patient.”
One of Cal’s feet knocked against Wild’s. Sage’s eyes followed the movement. “Something you wanna tell me?”
Cal swallowed. “Is there?” 
“You tell me.” Sage always had a way of looking intimidating. With the low light reflecting off his cheeks and the low hum of the lit fireplace in front of them, it seemed like they were well and truly in purgatory. Or some convoluted version of hell. Whichever was worse really. Moreso when he leaned his elbows on his knees. 
“...No.” 
Sage’s eyes narrowed further. 
“Wanna try again?”
“Atlas had a nightmare and I had to wake him, I didn’t want to mention it because I know he gets embarrassed by them. I’m sorry bro…”
“Oh so now you rat that out. I trusted you.”
Sage’s eyes narrowed even further, both suspecting their lies as being too - too there’s not a good word for it but they seem too good to be true but why bring their family into question. Perhaps now would be a good time to lessen their privacy, losing door privileges might be a good start for now, see if that makes anything better, stops them from hiding things in their room. 
“I’ll let this off for now. Seeing as you’re so focused on it and you don’t seem to be budging anytime soon.”
“Let this be a warning to you both. Neither of you will get away with something like this again. Got it?” As the twins replied in unison before getting up to go to their rooms with wild leaving as quickly as he could without drawing any attention to himself. 
“Not you Calcifer. I’d like you to stay a minute more”
Why does it feel like his throat is closing in on itself, like it’s hard to breathe…
… Is his eyesight getting darker?
“Okay…” Cal sat back down in his seat, wavering slightly when he hit the cushion. Shit, what is happening?
“Are you ready to tell me what is going on?” Sage’s voice was dripping in venom as he spoke.
“Nothing is going on.”
“If you’re going to lie don’t look so sick while doing it.”
Cal’s blinked away blurry vision, willing himself to just breathe. “I’m not lying.”
Sage’s eyes bore into him, watching his every move, every blink, every breath of air he took into his lungs. Sage shook his head, looking down. “I can see I’m not getting anything out of you. All I have to say is that you need to watch yourself.”
Cal nodded, swaying as he stood and turned back to the hallway. “Oh, and Calcifer?” Cal looked back over his shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “You should really make sure you don’t drag your brother into this. He’s a good kid.” The door slammed to their room once he was inside. As soon as he took a few steps in, his vision went black as Wild called his name.
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serenanymph · 9 months
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how well would your ocs do against a cockroach tag game
rules: yeah that's it. that's the tag. idk if anyone has done this before but rate your ocs by how well they'd do against a cockroach.
gonna be a lil annoying and tag a biiiiit more people sorry lol. no pressure to join in tho!!! and anyone else who wants to can hop in. @lyssa-ink @reneesbooks @macabremoons @space-writes @squarebracket-trick @scribbling-stardust @toribookworm22 @lorenfinch @sapphos-scientist @e-klair @arctic-oceans @sidhewrites @loopyhoopywrites @hallwriteblr @talesofsorrowandofruin @cream-and-tea
(anyway the rest is under the cut bcuz I have a LOT of characters so I'm gonna go a bit insane. Pulling from Beast as always)
Crys: - doesn't bat an eyelash, kills it easily - merciless, 10/10
Icarus: - a lil startled, will jump if it flies at him, but manages to catch it and set it free outside - 8/10. this boi is too good for this world
Rhyme: - begins by trying to smash it to a pulp - rapidly gets more and more irritated when she keeps on missing - finally lets out a primal scream of rage and fireballs it - 6/10 because she nearly burns down the house
Sol: - lets out an undignified squeak - leaves the room - if it flies at him he's sprinting out of there - 3/10
Dahlia - rolls up a newspaper and whacks it a few times?? like a normal person??? - 9/10
Beatriz: - faints - poor bbg can't handle the terror - 0/10 - alternatively shoots her feathers and skillfully punts it out the window - so overall actually 5/10
Honorary mentions
Iri and Yuan: - incoherent screeching - KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE - both trying to get behind the other - so many feathers embedded in the floor. so many - Iri scales up Yuan's back and stays there on his shoulders like an overgrown squirrel - 0/10
Jorge and Jordan - they catch it - and store it with their dozen other cockroaches used to prank people - 10/10, but I'm docking points for the malicious intent
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fairy-pd · 2 years
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Asa Emory but he's not that bad
GN reader, sort of a crack fic cus I cant take his avocado mask seriously, sfw but really dumb lmao
notes: i wanna simp for the bug man without feeling guilty so Im gonna deviate from the 2009 and 2012 cannon slightly and defend this version of him till I die. Picture Juan Fernandez's Asa cus that's who Im talking about muah muah goodnight
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So in my head, Mr. Cockroach is just a silly little nerd. A goofy fella with social anxiety. He is the definition of a poor little meow meow- smart but pathetic, a self absorbed mess
Picture a pinscher with a cold. That's him
He has managed to get himself to pretend he's somewhat well adjusted, but even tho he can make small talk, buy groceries and order pizza from time to time he still comes off as cagey and awkward
Definitely kept dead bugs in jars in his room as a kid, did not expect them to rot, learned nothing from this experience and still does it
Which means he smells bad. But purposefully now
I think Asa identifies as a bug tbh, but not literally
He loves humans like you maybe love cars, or art.
He doesn't relate to people. He doesn't get what's like to be one. But he loves us so much, he admires us so much, like you admire a vintage Lamborghini in perfect conditions.
He loves us from afar, like an admirer, an outside observer, wanting to learn everything about us because he doesn't understand but loves how strangely endearing we are, like the entomologist he is. Its almost like a fetish, but not sexual- objetification meets cold adoration in the hands of a scientist
This is specially noticeable (like another poster said) when we see various scenes where he's gently craddling his victim's faces or taking "care" of them. He looks at them in awe, like he could (cus he really could) break them, he wants to see them break to learn one more thing about them
He sees his victims not as people, not as complex universes, not as concepts, but as animals. He understands you have a life and opinions and friends, but he compartmentalizes these as normal behavior for your species
He cannot physically take his headphones off during the day cus it's so fucken noimsy outside and it hurts his ears
He likes to listen to anything repetitive and loud, nothing with discernible lyrics
His house looks like one of those ikea display rooms, except it smells faintly like formaldehyde and rot
He has a massive sweet tooth
He has a love for psychology, human anatomy and thanatology
Actually any field of knowledge that could explain human behavior is fair game to him
He absolutely hates spending money in "unnecessary" things, which is why he has plenty of diy projects around his place
He doesn't really have an opinion of people or of himself. He isn't one to judge, to classify people into groups. He thinks we're all fascinating, and he spends a lot more time trying to teach himself things about us than thinking about his own life
He doesn't have an internal voice inside his head
Absolutely has a God complex, but more in a "I Cannot Relate To Any Of My Beloved Creechures" than "my milkshake is better than yours"
Has a degree in entomology, and chose to become a certified bug serial killer cus seriously,,,,ppl will just give their house keys to a stranger for days????? how could he not take advantage of that????
100% a virgin. Does not have any interest in romance or sex, does not understand most people's need for it, could not feel more uncomfortable than when his victims offer to "help him" in exchange for their freedom
Never had any friends
Was raised by his extended family who sent him off to college as soon as they could
His favorite place in the whole wide world are cemeteries (silent, and he can spend time with his beloved lil humans as much as he wants)
Never takes anything personally and is completely unfazed by morality. Again, whenever anything happens he just sees it as part of the behavior of this particular species, like he isnt an active participant in the world, just a bystander
Hates pillows. His bed is as firm as a wooden table (might actually be one), only wears blankets when its absolutely freezing and he has no other choice
Walks around either on all fours or on his tiptoes
He doesn't? really? get? why people hate his trunks so much. He finds small spaces quite soothing and attributes his victim's screams to panic or anxiety of being caught, not also cus they're yk stuck in a tiny box with no chance of getting out
He has quite a few "animalistic" quirks, like the growling and purring thing. Some come naturally, some he picked up from his early subjects when he was a student
Knows how to crochet, and how to sew up small tears or holes in clothing
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halt-kun · 1 year
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Jujutsu Kaisen Chapter 220 - Self Cleansing and Self restraints
I bet we’ll go back to Yuji’s plot for now
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PRISON REALM YES
FREE GOJO
Suguru has a lot of points, we’ll go back to him maybe, it’s true he has the prison realm and our boys and gals have the backdoor to it
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HAHAHA FUCK YOU KENJAKU
You got had by your own system
Tengen worked so hard, the grandma did so good
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NICE TENGEN
They did so well, a nice grandma
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To be honest, nice job Kenjaku for using that to create a stalemate
The fact Tengen hindered your plan just a bit fills me with joy, you are not a game master and it’s sufficient
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OOOO I forgot that Tengen was a curse spirit now and thanks to Geto’s curse, he can control them now
FUCK
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Poor Kogane
Hate Kenjaku with us too
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Tengen is still conscious ?!? It’s terrifying
Does it mean Mahito is also still conscious ?
But I guess he’ll be absorbed when Kenjaku uses Idle Transfiguration on Tengen
Sukuna will be an annoying pain in the ass trying to kill everyone 
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WAIT ! is that the rest of Sukuna’s body ????
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Maki and Lil bro are not players at least
Can the lil’ bro use reverse curse technique ? He’s stronger than I thought if it’s him who healed someone
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ANGEL IS ALIVE !
GOJO IS GOING TO BE BACK SOON ENOUGH THEN
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Okay so Ieri helped with Yuuta
Joke character curse technique might have helped indeed !
And rip Kurusu but we don’t need you to fight 
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Sukuna is the only one, okay
well Kenjaku too but thanks to his techniques I guess
It’s good to know Sukuna is the only little cockroache that refuses to die
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FREE GOJO ! FREE GOJO !
I don’t remember this guy
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OOOH okay he was with the attack helicopter guy
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Yuji is a cursed item !
Okay so that’s why he still has curse energy
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Yuji wants to eat Megumi !?! KINKY !!!!
Maki is right, we need a plan to fuck Sukuna up
I’m wondering what Yuta’s plan is
Look at those three monsters together
We also have everyone back here from Kyoto and Tokyo and some ancient sorcerers too, niiice
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What do you mean Choso ? Are those souls in you figuratively or literally ?
What’s that
some emotional moments between brothers, they should hug
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Gojo was lonely as hell
he only found solace in Geto’s presence
and of course Ieri, they were gay as fuck, you don’t need to fall in love with them
I’m so glad Gojo isn’t alone anymore, he’ll be so joyful when he gets back
I teared up a bit, poor lonely boys
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TOGE IS THERE
AND LIL PANDA TOOOOOOO
WE’RE ALL MONSTERS
FREE GOJO ! FREE GOJO !  FREE GOJO ! FREE GOJO !  FREE GOJO ! FREE GOJO !  FREE GOJO ! FREE GOJO !  FREE GOJO ! FREE GOJO !
I’m as hyped as one can be !
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servin-up-surveys · 2 months
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survey #202
Last time you went on a rollercoaster: Never. At least, not a legit one, because I'm terrified of those. I've been on like, one kiddie one, but even that was as a kid.
Whose birthday is next, out of all the people you know? My younger sister's.
Would you eat a live cockroach if it made you a millionaire? A millionaire? Yes. I'd probably puke in the process but you'd bet your fuckin' ass I'm trying, being poor sucks.
Who do you think about most? Besides myself and what I have going on, Girt.
Do you have embarrassing parents? My dad can be.
Are you any good at writing? I think writing is probably my strongest talent. I don't feel as good as I once was, but I can at least acknowledge I'm above average at it.
What’s something that really matters to you? My mental health.
Do you prefer bar or liquid soap? Liquid, I hate bar soap.
Do you have high or low self esteem levels? Very low.
Do you like mint or orange flavored chocolate? I love mint chocolate! I've never tried orange.
How often do you get spots? Like, pimples? I will almost always get at least one blemish during my time of the month. Otherwise, they're very rare in my adulthood.
Do you prefer instrumental songs or ones with lyrics? Ones with lyrics, usually. But I'm perfectly capable of enjoying instrumental, too.
Do you carry a bag around with you often? What does it look like? Yes, it's a small white purse shaped like a ghost, with two black ovals for its eyes. It's a biiiit smaller than I'd prefer, but I mean, it came from Temu for a very low price, I'll take what it gave me.
Name one of your favorite memories. Early morning fishing trips with my dad as a kid, especially if he was taking us out on his little blue boat.
Have you ever had braces? Do you need them? I did as a pre-teen/teenager.
Are you a subscriber to any magazines? Which? No.
What is something you want but can’t afford to buy? I'd LIKE a 4x2x2x PVC tank for Venus. That would be her final, "perfect" enclosure.
Do you usually eat wheat bread or white bread, or are you gluten-free? Wheat.
Which lost friend do you most wish you could be friends with again? Megan. She lied about the bulk of her life for pity, but... our friendship was very important to me. I don't feel like she did it maliciously, she just... wanted someone to feel sorry for her and took advantage of being an online friend to do so, I could never truly see that she was lying.
Do you think you would be happier if you had more money? YES??????????? I know I would be, not just "think." No, money would never solve all of my problems, but be poor and THEN come back to me with "mOnEy DoEsN't BuY hApPInEsS!!!!!"
What is something currently on your wishlist from Etsy? lmao there's this shirt featuring cute-ass lil kittens with a pentagram in the middle and the text is "tax churches, hail satan" in like the Iron Maiden font and I am DYING for it
Is there a Target near you? Yeah, maybe like, 7-ish minutes away.
Which is closest to you: Target, Walmart, Kmart, or Meijer? Walmart.
Who do you go to when you’re lonely? Or what do you do when you’re lonely? My mom or Girt.
What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in a cookie cutter neighborhood with absolutely zero charm or interest and I just hate it.
Have you ever been clubbing? Did you have fun? No. I can't imagine myself having fun.
Have you ever volunteered? Yes.
What holidays do you celebrate? Valentine's with my partner, I'm very serious about this year beginning a tradition of doing something for Earth Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas. On New Year's Eve Mom and I will normally have a drink, but that's the extent of it. For the 4th of July, last year we did hot dogs on the grill and s'mores, and I'd like to do that again, even though I don't really give a shit about Independence Day.
Do you have a best friend? How long have you known them? Yeah, my boyfriend. I've known him since my freshman year of high school, so like... since I was 15-ish.
How often do you take selfies? Very rarely.
What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming.
Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? Forum animal roleplay.
Have you ever drank so much that you passed out? No. I don't enjoy alcohol enough for that.
What is your favorite way to eat rice? (white, steamed, fried, brown, sweetened…) Fried.
What’s your favorite horror movie? The OG The Blair Witch Project.
Have you ever had to have a tooth cut out? My only two wisdom teeth that came in, yes.
What video games did you play when you were growing up? The OG Spyro trilogy, Crash Bandicoot, lots of games based on kid movies and TV shows, hunting games (I know), etc.
What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? "Hun," "love," "darlin," "sweetie," stuff like that.
What’s your favourite Disney movie? The Lion King.
Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Diet sodas are a fucking travesty, I just can't
Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yes. Tez and Mazzy are both 100% invited to my wedding, so hopefully one day I'll meet them both. I'd love to meet Shaz too, it'd be dope as hell if we both visited the KMP at the same time and met. There are other online buds that'd be cool to meet, but those are the three where I'm like, I REALLY would like to meet them.
Are you a fan of garlic bread? Bitch I am more than a FAN, I'd trade you my soul for some fuckin garlic bread lmao
Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? Yeah; ideally I'd love to be vegan, and I had a vegetarian streak, but my extreme pickiness that I just can't shake makes surviving without meat (nevermind adding other animal products to that!) impossible for me. I'd be so malnourished.
What is your boss’s (or school principal’s) name? N/A
Do you like eggnog? No.
Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Yes, my aunt and her daughter both have it.
Are you and your best friend complete opposites? No, we're very similar.
If you were to write a novel, what would it be about? I'd probably pick a major RP plot to base it around.
Are you currently pretending to be someone’s friend? Dude I'm an adult, I'm not wasting time or energy on that bullshit. Even if I WASN'T an adult, I wouldn't.
Have you ever had a serious issue involving your eyes? Besides having very poor eyesight without my glasses, no. I have astigmatism, but I wouldn't call that a serious issue, it's very common.
Do you have sensitive teeth? Not so much anymore, I only did at the worst of my teeth neglect.
What are your views on our current president? I voted for the guy and I hate him lmao. I'd rather have him in office than Trump though, hence why he got my vote.
What is your biggest responsibility in your household? Clean the litterbox, feed Roman, feed and water Venus/maintain her terrarium.
Who did you last worry about and why? My boyfriend, because it took him longer to get to my house from his work than it normally does, and it was very windy outside. I wasn't like, SUPER worried, but the concern was still there. Turns out he stopped at a gas station.
When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I genuinely can't do this. I'll just use the excuse of not being hungry, because my face WILL say if I don't like something, and my gag reflex is immediate. If I try swallowing something I don't like, I'll involuntarily shudder, like it's super obvious.
Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) Yes, I hate trackpads.
What was your high school mascot? A firebird.
What was your first job? Sales associate at GameStop.
Do you remember your first time? No because I haven't had it. I was abstinent through my first serious relationship and my boyfriend now has crippling performance anxiety + we live with our moms so conditions just haven't worked out.
Favourite home-cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti.
What is something you don’t have any natural talent for? Mathematics.
How do you feel about your body? I despise it. It humiliates me.
What are three things you like that are blue? Birds, the sky, sometimes water.
What is one sad song that you enjoy listening to? One of the saddest songs (imo) that I enjoy a whole lot is "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade.
Do you like butterflies? Butterflies look like they should be mythical creatures, I adore butterflies.
Do you prefer to read fiction or non-fiction? I greatly prefer fiction. I read books to escape.
If you have a significant other, what is his/her name? It's actually Donald Jr., but I've always known him as Girt.
Have you ever had to use a wheelchair? Only for very short instances. When I had my asthma attack, I had to be wheeled inside because of how low my oxygen was; my body wasn't properly oxygenated at all and it was making walking almost impossible, it was the strangest feeling. I also recall when I did some terrible shit to my ankle, I was wheeled into I think urgent care.
Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? In my very brief period of driving, no.
What are three things you would change about your body if you could? I wish I was slim, had much lighter/less body hair, and clearer/less dry skin.
Who was the last person who gave you a hug? My boyfriend.
Have you ever questioned your gender? No. I'm very unattached to the concept and identity implications of gender so I'm just content with the sex I was born as.
What is your favorite thing to do in the snow? Wander around and take photos!
Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I LOVE swimming in the ocean, for real.
What were three of your favorite things to do at recess as a kid? Dig tunnels in the sandbox, the swing, and playing Four Square on the basketball court.
What is one thing you’ve gotten for free on your birthday? Desserts at restaurants.
Have you ever been to Tennessee, USA? Yes, my brother lives there.
What are some things that fascinate you? Animal behavior, caves, outer space, stuff like cryptids and conspiracy theories, etc.
What did you last remember dreaming about? I actually had a tornado nightmare last night.
What did you last watch on TV? Cunk on Earth with Girt.
What is one of your toxic traits? I can take things very personally.
Have you ever found a skeleton while outside? I've found animal remains, yeah, not like, a human skeleton lmao
0 notes
lostbbygorl · 3 years
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DATING LEVI ACKERMAN AND BEING THE OPPOSITE OF HIM:
✨ Levi seems like he would never fall for someone like you, a fucking bright, happy, crackhead
✨ So when he starts getting all red when you smile at him, he thinks he's constipated
✨ He'd never ask someone out just to experiment, and he wants the REAL DEAL when he dates. Dating never even crossed his mind given his circumstances. You'd have to REAALLLYYY gain his trust and affection if you wanna get with him
✨ Good job, bestie, you did exactly that. HOW DID YOU PULL THAT OFF MUHFUCKA?
✨ Opposites attract ig. He was taken aback when you so cheerfully introduced yourself to him and like why tf aren't you scared of him like everyone else?
✨ You're smiling over at him and YOU'RE MAKING SASSY REMARKS BACK?
✨ Your sense of humor is what got him digging you first
✨ He first realizes he's got it bad for you when he sees you very seriously explain why stepping on a cockroach made your mental health plummet to Commander Erwin
✨ You: I stepped on that poor bug like HIS LIFE DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, COMMANDER! I can't live with myself anymore! The poor thing had a family of lil bugs it wanted to carry my dinner scraps to and I just-
You: I'm a murderer
Levi, in his head: Fuckfuckfuck theyaresocompassionateandbeautifuliwannamarrythem
Erwin: 😑😐
✨ He'd never guess you like him back but he gave you a shot and WELL-
✨ YOU STOLE MY MAN MUHFUCKA-
✨ So Levi is actually a great bf
✨ He may not be the best at showing his emotions and he isn't extravagant, but he's the most loyal person ever
✨ He'll always listen to you, no matter what high ass bullshit you're spewing, or how sad you are
✨ PDA, well yall aint heavy on it. If there ever was any, he wouldn't allow it till you're verryyy deep into the relationship. Then you can kiss him on the cheek, and he'll hold your hand in public. He may even let you link arms
✨ You guys make tea together and Levi tells you about all his worries
✨ He always whispers " I love you" and looks away when he says it. He's shy about this
✨ He loves recieving affection in private, but he really doesn't know how to give it back. He'll pat your head and hold your hand.
✨ When yall cuddle, just lay your head on his chest and hear his soft heartbeats. They'll tell you just how much he loves you
✨ The Captain is just as stern and moody as ever, but there is SOME change-
✨ His gaze softens when you're around, and he smiles more. Not a lot and still occassionally, but more
✨He actually compliments the cadets now and Connie nearly shat his pants when Levi told him he's proud of how well Connie improved with the ODM gear
✨ Levi looks at you like you're a rare diamond
✨ He calls you your name or brat. Babe, honey, darling, not really his jam
✨ You're the only one who gets to enter his room without knocking, and you're the only one who gets to touch his face and hair
✨ He LIVES for your laugh! He's gonna find your tickle spot and he's gonna make shit jokes just to see you light up. Hey, it's only fair. You light up his world, so he's gonna light up your stupid cute face he loves so much
✨ OVERPROTECTIVE ASF ON EXPEDITIONS! He wants you right by his side and he'll secure your weapon and gear himself
✨ Loves walking with you
✨ Will make sure all your stuff is tidy and clean and neat
✨ Yall have a matching couple pendant that he spent god knows how much on
✨ Reads about your interests
✨ NEVER forgets important dates
✨ Basically, you won at life. Levi is loyal, observant, caring, protective, and super accepting
✨ Don't take his stoicness for apathy or disinterest, coz you're on his mind 24/7
✨ You two complete each other and are the definition of unlikely soulmates
✨ He keeps you grounded and a lil more organized
✨ And you make him more approachable and open
✨ Get married already but like don't invite me to the wedding coz Imma be jealous and try to sneak some shady shit in your wedding dinner
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jcmiesingh · 2 years
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TASK 06: CHARACTER INSPO
honorable mentions that aren’t strong parallels but i’m including them just for laffs: dennis reynolds (it’s always sunny in philadelphia), klaus hargreeves (the umbrella academy), jj maybank (outer banks), roman roy (succession), michelle mallon (derry girls), and this text post 
see below for me going alligator_talking.gif about the six main parallels!
lip gallagher (shameless): ok i will not lie it has been years since i watched shameless so this one is mostly just vibes but his vibes are soooo jamie. especially the whole “feeling deeply but not knowing how to express feelings well so they come out in destructive ways” energy. i think the main similarity that differentiates lip from the other characters i included on here is that he’s smart in the same way that jamie is. sometimes i forget but jamie is actually very booksmart lmao it just doesn’t matter to him bc he never showed up to class and did not even consider college. so from what i remember of lip’s arc it’s the same kind of wasted potential energy where he could be applying his brain and succeeding in life but instead he does not give a flying fuck about academia and would rather be a menace to society.
dimitri (anastasia): i just thought of this parallel this morning and now i am absolutely obsessed with it. to be clear, i am not talking about the dimitri in the second half of the movie who learns to be selfless through falling in love and is sexily redeemed. i’m talking about the first half where he’s a lying con who manipulates others to his own ends and is a complete smooth-talking asshole. and also, the whole backstory of growing up poor and believing money will solve all of his problems? very jamie. even just the way he like, talks and carries himself is super similar to jamie’s mannerisms in my mind.
james cook (skins uk): once again i must include a disclaimer that i watched skins a super long time ago and my memory is poo. but ever since i came across this gifset, the jamie/cook parallel has lived rent-free in my head for months. i think the most distinctive thing he brings to the melting pot of jamie parallels is the fact that he is such a fucking survivor. like, no matter what bullshit he gets into & what kind of messes he creates for himself, he gets up and keeps going like a gross lil cockroach u keep trying to squish under your boot (thank you again to blair for that iconic comparison). and of course the general shitty troubled boy energy and the belief that he’s not really worth much at the end of the day.
john bender (the breakfast club): i know this movie is outdated and bender does some things that are straight up not okay but those are not included in this parallel thanks! we’re talking about the reckless disregard of rules and authority, the never knowing when to shut up, impulsivity and always fucking things up for himself. this is yet another case in which i don’t remember that much about the details of this movie lol but the vibes are 100% there.
jess mariano (gilmore girls): it’s this gifset for me if i’m being honest... the sarcasm is absolutely jamie vibes. i don’t think he has a ton in common with jess on a deep personality level but this one is mostly just based on energy? like the no-good kid who has a bad reputation in his small town, doesn’t give a shit what any of those people think, just walks around being a smartass instead. it’s also the mannerisms and the dry humor and emotionless witty facade.
rue bennett (euphoria): we’re just going to ignore rue’s whole addiction storyline because this one is also strong on just vibes! like if i had to describe how jamie carries himself through his day-to-day life, it’d be as a combination of dimitri, jess, and rue. i’m also including her because there is for sure something to be said for the fact that she believes the only thing she can do is hurt people, and there’s no point in trying to really better herself ‘cause she’s always just gonna be a shithead. that’s big jamie energy too.
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2-cute-4-school · 4 years
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NCT Dream reaction : another member scares you
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Tw : near drowning scare, lots of bugs??
Mark Lee
donghyuck loves teasing mark
you’re mark’s s/o
results : donghyuck loves bullying you
congrats you get a free pass to cry with me cuz donghyuck is ruthless
but you learnt to live with it so it’s okay most of the time
until his friendly teasing involved a quite deep pool and your unprepared form being swung violently into it
so when you submerged underwater and didn’t come back up, mark forgot everything else and dove head first into the pool
his spiderman senses kicked in thank god
donghyuck saw his life flash before his eyes ⊙△⊙
when mark dragged you to the surface and hoisted you out of the water with donghyuck’s help, you took your sweet time before coughing violently
you gotta suck the life out of that dramatic effect ya know
mark coddled you the entire day, embracing your trembling form and keeping hyuck away despite his attempts to apologize to you :<
this man would spend an entire lifetime just taking care of you and smothering you with no complaints i swear cause you became like the centre of the universe for him ಥ_ಥ
writing music? thinks of you ; eating watermelon? y/n would like it ; showering? we could have some fun
but once he tucked you safely into bed and made sure you comfortably fell asleep after a scare that shortened both your lives by 10 years
WWIII commenced (ノ♯`△´)ノ~’┻━┻
markhyuck summer fight pt.2
Huang Renjun
there’s ONE(1) thing you and renjun totally agree on
scary movies can suck your di- └( ͡° ︿ °͡ )┘
but the other devil spawns ( read dreamies ) decided you deserve suffering their enjoyment blame them
so you’re settled on the couch between china line with renjun trying to keep his macho man facade give up jun we know you’re babie (♥ω♥*)
but still feeling you tremble like a leaf beside him melted his lil heart :((((
so he kept a hand on your knee the entire time, rubbing random patterns on your leg in an attempt to soothe your nerves
the atmosphere became so tense, any hint of conversation dying once everyone was immersed in the movies, an eerie silence enveloping you
but when dear angel chenle decided to shriek in your ears and dig his fingers in you sides let me tell you gals
you jumped out of your skin
and spoiler alert : didn’t land back on the couch
cue dolphin noises
but when you looked up at renjun, a deep pout settled on your lips and glassy puppy eyes ( つ᷄.̯σ̣̥᷅ ) he saw red before his eyes
“YAH ZHONG CHENLE YOU WANTED SCARY MOVIES?!? I’LL GIVE YOU A SCARE ENOUGH FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, YOU RASCAL !!!1!1!!”
no one dares to scare/hurt his baby and escapes unharmed no exceptions sorry
after he taught chenle the lesson of his life, it’s cuddle time!!! (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”
he spoons you protectively and smothers you in a TON of kithes until he’s content with hearing your giggles  :>
Lee Jeno
you made it your personal mission to find a way to eradicate all bugs
no cap
and jeno just nodded along to your endless rambling about your strong dislike towards them
let’s be honest here, he was internally gushing at your cuteness like your biggest supporter ( ◠ ◡ ◠ )
so when renjun dangerously nears you without a common garden bug  he found during your picnic with the dreamies in between his fingers and sticks it in your face with the hugest shit eating grin (ര̀ᴗര́)و ̑̑
you let out the loudest screech and scramble to throw yourself in jeno’s arm who acted like your comfort blanket by now i’m so soft for jeno can you tell????
and he just 「(°ヘ°)
‘my baby?? scared?? the nerve of some people?? gotta!!!show!!them!!no one!!!NO ONE!!!messes with my baby!!!’ (`Д´)
so he just pats you head lovingly and rubs your back until you calm down enough to let go of him
and then he leaves the cutest *smooch* on your forehead and gets up
he walks calmly towards renjun who was pretending to occupy himself with smoothing down a blanket and just...cracks his knuckles kaneki style
jeno just grabs the biggest bug he was able to find and grips the hem of renjun’s sweats harshly
wanna know what this gangsta beach does?? he frickin throws the bug down poor renjun’s pants
and then just leaves his unfortunate victim thrashing and shrieking for his life and retreats back in your arms like the terrifying baby he is
don’t mistake his softness for you as weakness!!1! he becomes ruthless when it comes to you :<
Lee Donghyuck
he’s already ruthless enough
so please PLEASE for the love of God don’t give him a reason to become even more of a devil spawn
but poor jisung didn’t get the gist bless his pure soul 🐣
you weren’t even that scared when you opened your phone to an remarkably ugly image of a cockroach (basically the same prank that was done to fetus jisung some time ago)
but you still let out a shriek loud enough to alert haechan
and while haechan seemed silent while he smothered you, his mind was going highwire which is NEVER good  ( ̄ェ ̄;)
*time skip to the next day*
3 times
3 TIMES DID JISUNG SEE HIS LIFE FLASH BEFORE HIS EYES IN A SINGLE DAMNED DAY and he’s never been the same since
so when he barges in the living room where sweet innocent hyuck is seated on the couch with you cradled in his lap while feeding both you and himself and watching netflix 
jisung has a fit it was damn time baby chick
“you put cockroaches in the shower, in my cup AND on my pillow, do you want me to die young??!!?”
“they’re fake tho”
“I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WHEN I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK”       ⊙﹏☉
eventually jisung retreated to put some shoes on and leave the dorm for a breath of fresh air after the near-death experience he encountered
“i feel bad for him” you took pity on the kid alright
“don’t worry your pretty head”
and he just kithes the heck out of you and automatically deleted all your worries once immersed in his sweet lips who could resist him tho
until another scream echoes
“IN MY SHOES TOO?!? YOU KNOW WHAT, I MIGHT JUST MOVE OUT”
Na Jaemin
we all know jaemin enjoys photography
and you’d be a fool to believe his camera roll is not ABSOLUTELY FULL of pictures of you both candid and not
he always insisted he takes photos of things he loves or are beautiful and you’re both and even more ✿♥‿♥✿
that’s how some of your hangouts turn into mini photoshoots whenever jaemin was in the mood
and that’s how you found yourself modeling for jaemin while the other dreamies were lunging around
“i’m frying over here, can you hurry up?”
“not my fault my baby is the prettiest unlike you gremlins, hyuck”
“what’d you say?!!?!?!!” lowkey ready to swing
jaemin doesn’t spare him a second glance, he can only focus on you :>
“hey honey can you climb on that ledge for me?”
he helps you like the gentleman he is to climb the stone ledge, one hand clutching yours and the other gripping your waist softly (๑°꒵°๑)・*♡
so you’re posing, focusing on the camera when you feel a hand tightly clasp over your ankle
and jeez do you scream so loud hyuck was left fried, insulted and deaf
and you can’t even step away from the ledge before jaemin envelops you in his arms and clutches you tightly to his chest
“aigoo aigoo~ my baby it’s okay, nana is here”  in the softest voice possible (๑´ω`๑)
he smooths down your hair, petting it affectionately and as he leans down to smooch your forehead he meets eyes with a sheepish jeno who peeks over from behind the ledge
and jaemin just stares him down with that disappointed mom look 
and jeno just knows he won’t be getting any dinner tonight
but jaemin’s head is full of you you you did i mention you? so he can only coo at you and smother your entire face in little kithes :<
“you’re the absolute cutest and all mine, my cute baby” *bursting uwus* *fake gagging noises in the background from hyuck*
“so candidate no. 2 without dinner tonight huh?” hyuck: “wait no pls”
Zhong Chenle
power napping is your favorite kind of date with chenle
just curling up against each other wherever you two could fit and spooning or just cuddling or even just holding hands if the weather was too hot
okay but just imagine chenle holding someone’s hand while he sleeps i’m ded just imagining it x.x
so it’s already understood that you’re a sleep lover who isn’t tho
and while you fell asleep, chenle still had to wash the dishes after a meal with the dreamies
jaemin being the affectionate person he is cooed over your cuteness and couldn’t help himself from throwing himself beside you on the bed and jumping on it while screaming your name (basically the same thing he did to chenle :)))) )
but unfortunately you were a quite light sleeper and easily startled when woken up suddenly and not so gently  ( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )
so you let out a chocked noise that immediately alerted chenle who returned to see you staring at jaemin like a deer caught in headlights 
“ah hyung why would you do that? you scared them like that”
chenle whined as he pushed jaemin away who retreated with slumped shoulders and a pout don’t worry jaems we love you
and chenle just slips under the blanket and brings you closer to lay down together and soothes you ༶ඬ༝ඬ༶
and he just embraces you, tangling your legs together and hiding your face in the crook of his neck while he runs his fingers through your hair comfortingly chenle would make the best cuddle buddy no take-backs
“shh it’s alright, just go back to sleep, i’ll stay with you” (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)
with chenle’s assurance and tight grip on your body to bring you as close as humanly possible, you fall back asleep as chenle stares fondly at you
and that’s how chenle escaped washing dishes *ha suck it losers*
Park Jisung
jisung blames mark
mark is his oldest hyung and the supposedly most responsible debatable among them
so how could his leader scare you to tears and then dump your shaking figure for him, the baby, to take care of (ノ-_-)ノ ~┻━┻
jisung could only stare at you as he hovered above your curled up form
“y-y/n, come on, there’s nothing to cry about, hyung didn’t mean it”
*mark facepalms* *sm building facepalms* *the white house facepalms*
mark just motions aggressively to jisung to rub your back 
and jisung pales as if mark suggested going to a haunted house *sigh* jisung you absolute clueless baby
he SUPER HESITATINGLY pats your back awkwardly, but you only curl up into yourself even more
mark pushes jisung to sit down beside you and prompts him to comfort you properly and jisung gulps
“sooo, how are you feeling?”
*well done jisung take a guess you sharp tool* (-‸ლ)
mark is just boiling with worry you might just dump jisung after his worryingly poor attempt when your small voice cuts through
“can you please hug me, sung?” (●´^`●)
jisung.exe has shut down please retry in a moment
“s-sure, yeah, just-”
but you just slot yourself in his lap and bury your face in his shoulder 
jisung.exe is overwhelmed by your cuteness pls spare him
but he eventually wraps his arms around you too and just rubs up and down, occasionally massaging the nape of your neck gently
“this is actually nice, can we stay like this please?” (⺣◡⺣)♡*
you just tighten your grip on him in response
and jisung rests his head on top of your head to hide his reddening face away but also to hold you even closer because despite his shy demeanor he cherishes you so so much so please have patience with this baby
mark just shakes his head from the doorway with a fond smile knowing that you’re just right for each other (︶ω︶)
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phoenixtakaramono · 3 years
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Character Design Thoughts for Shen Yuan & Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky in ‘The Untold Tale’
(This is a Follow Up to This Post)
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Hello, @averydrearydiana! Loved reading through your tags! I’m excited that you’re excited! Since I’m also seeing comments on AO3 speculating about how our transmigrators are going to appear as in The Untold Tale, I might as well give my current thoughts and have this archived on tumblr for future reference.
A fun fact about TUT is that a lot of the imagery in the story is inspired by Chinese PVs and popular C-dramas and literature. Since TUT is conceived as a lovestory to SVSSS, one element that I’d wanted to incorporate is playful attempts at satirical genre deconstruction. With that comes with me playfully poking fun at some clichés or things I’ve noticed in Chinese works.
Shen Yuan’s Celestial Design
Before I talk about his mortal appearance, I have to give a lil context about his celestial design in the story. We already know what he looks like as the celestial fortuneteller in TUT’s cover art that I’ve already posted on tumblr. As everyone knows, I was heavily inspired by this Chinese PV:
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(TUT ch1 - Excerpt)
Among the things I’ve noticed are the fictional characters with white hair. We have a whole subculture of fans liking male character designs with white hair in anime and animation. Taking that a step further, they’ve even shown up in C-dramas, i.e. Teng She from Love and Redemption (technically more blond than platinum white, but shhhhh, just let me have this), Dong Hua Dijun from Eternal Love of Dream aka Three Lives Three Worlds, Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (rest assured, I’m aware of the source material’s controversy, but let’s not get into that here), etc. One of the tags for TUT is Opposites Attract. Luo Binghe’s color coordination is aligned with black and red mostly. Now, visually speaking, what’s the opposite of that?
The yin yang symbol.
Fun fact, besides black vs white, green (SY) is the complementary color of red (LBG) on the color wheel. Now taking everything I’ve said, to take it even one step further, my thought process at the time was, “why not go the extra mile then and just have SY be albino? Within context of the Heavenly Realm, that character design makes sense.” TUT is me subtly riffing off what I can (for the good ol’ meta humor), but making the content come across as a legitimate story experience. As Protagonist A and Protagonist B, LBG and SY have to look visually striking together. With all that said, let’s talk about....
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(In reference to the original tumblr post)
Shen Yuan (Mortal)
I’ll keep some elements of his albinism from his celestial form (light sensitivity and pale skin mostly), but SY’s mortal form is essentially SY pre-transmigration but within context of the xianxia genre.
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For his appearance, let’s just keep this Author’s Note^ and TUT’s summary in the back of our brains. This is the fanvid I was originally inspired by for SY’s mortal appearance:
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(TUT Summary - Excerpt)
For what he wears, I’m currently feeling very heavily inspired by this PV:
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His mortal appearance wouldn’t be considered as “strange” or “otherworldly” compared to the “ethereal fairy-like beauty” SY retains in the Heavenly Realm, but as a side-effect of the 【PROTAGONIST’S HALO】 and his +20 CHARISMA stat, he would still be considered attractive to people even when he takes on a mortal appearance. (Mainly, I like the idea of Bing gē taking large shots of vinegar seeing SY turning heads no matter which appearance SY takes on, and Luo Binghe glaring at these “insects” for even “daring to lay their unworthy eyes on his fated person.” The thought of it just makes me laugh.)
What I mean by how SY’s mortal form being very much based on how SY appeared pre-transmigration but in the xianxia genre context, I mean he’ll have his dark hair (but longer), a “scholarly air” (as a nod to his novelist background), dark eyes, and even his glasses technically (the divine monocle mentioned in ch3, which is also a subtle nod to Sha Po Lang and a riff on men wearing monocles in other Chinese works andit’salsoforeshadowingbutshhhh).
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(TUT ch3 - Excerpt)
Shen Yuan originally was an author in his forties pre-transmigration, so I like the idea him having a mature air about him in the Cultivation World as well. So for both our Protagonist B’s celestial and mortal appearances, the idea is that you can look at him and immediately recognize him as a protagonist of the danmei setting. My only two prerequisites are that his appearance screams “hello, I’m Protagonist B” and that he appears in “scholarly” attire.
Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky (Mortal)
Keeping in mind the original tumblr post where I wrote my thoughts on who I’m transmigrating him as, currently I’m thinking it’s a combination of these two PVs for his mortal form:
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As a nod to him being a successful novelist, I wanted him to also appear scholarly. A scholarly crown prince, if you will. For his attire, imagine all the C-drama clothing you’ve seen actors wear in period dramas, and you already have a good idea already of the direction I’m heading down.
As the prince of the cannon fodder emperor, I very much like the idea of Airplane perhaps having a baby face and brown hair (as a small nod to fanon!SQH from SVSSS) but with a great body (a huge source of inspiration are clothing worn by Prince Yu and Prince Jing of the three princes from the C-drama Nirvana in Fire). Since Airplane will also be able to select his Character Creation stats like Shen Yuan had, one thing I’m fairly certain is that he will max out his CONSTITUTION—because “game logic” and not wanting to die. (For those who don’t know, the CON stat in tabletop RPs essentially indicates a person’s overall health, wellbeing, and vigor checks...so him maxing it out is equivalent to him being as invulnerable as a cockroach. A high CON means overall healthiness, which means your character probably is full of energy and vitality, can heal rapidly, and will rarely get sick—if ever. Low CON usually means a higher susceptibility to sickness and disease, wounds that fester and linger, and a general fatigue would haunt you, etc.) Like how SY zeroed in on his CHA, Airplane would have prioritized +20 CON (+5 modifier), especially knowing the fate that’d await him as a prince and the vicious environment that is expected for palace intrigue plots (the harem is a big factor, with concubines and consorts and even the empress sabotaging each other—just to win the favor of one man). Against poison or whatnot which is a cliché in palace intrigue plots, rather than relying on luck, you typically stand a better chance of passing the CON check if you have a high modifier aiding your checks. He’s basically become impervious to illnesses, most poisons (probably being able to spring back quickly), and is considered the healthiest prince in all the mortal imperial line. <- This could be taken both seriously and humorously simultaneously.
Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky (Deity/ Celestial)
For Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī’s “actual divine body” that is currently asleep and won’t be awakened until Airplane completes his mortal trial to “regain his cultivation powers,” the face should obviously be similar but, as Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī, he would appear regal and dignified as a god of this world:
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Imagine something along the lines of mortal Airplane as the man on the right, celestial Shen Yuan in the center, and deity/ celestial Airplane as the man on the left. I envision a respectable appearance that would knock the air out of Mobei jūn and make him recognize Airplane despite any visual dissimilarities, and in a way we have the Four Beauties of China: Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan, Mobei jūn, and Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī.
I will say I currently have an idea of making Airplane have “golden” eyes in both his celestial and mortal forms. (Spoiler alert: in my notes, I’d written down to give Airplane yellow eyes as an Easter egg to Yanxi Palace, I believe, where there was an episode where someone of the imperial harem schemed against the empress and almost had the newborn baby killed because that and the yellow skin was an inauspicious omen. We later find out through a timely intervention that the true reason was due to jaundice—because of the diet/ pregnancy cravings she ate for a period of time which resulted in her son’s symptoms. With Airplane’s high CON and another trope I’m bringing in which’ll have to do with the Medicine King’s Valley/ Valley of the Medicine King, his yellow eyes are the only side effect that lingered from that traumatic event which would have killed him had they gotten away with their scheme. A lot of palace dramas have to do with the vicious harem plots, so this would potentially be one such example.) The reason being that this is the identifying marker for MBJ to clue in that they’re the same man he will have loved. And I think that has romantic potential.
Misc.
Now addressing the other tags, yes, essentially speaking, Mobei jūn might just very well experience his very own Big Damn Reunion trope that Bing mèi had suffered from SVSSS. Poor MBJ. He’s in a tumultuous ride of his own with him considering Airplane as his own fated person, hahaha. But for the Moshang dynamic, I want him—a demon—to find himself taken with Airplane in his mortal guise—and subsequently his true celestial appearance once he finds out. I very much also want SY to jokingly snark to his fellow transmigrator-and-writing-colleague about him getting in a relationship with his own “creation” (MBJ). And Airplane would jokingly snark back about SY “ruining his ‘first son’ as well” (LBG). If you can read between the lines of that, then kudos. I’m glad to hear you’re looking forward to the palace intrigue.
I’m especially very happy to hear you’re looking forward to the descriptions! I personally love worldbuilding in the stories I consume I’m an interior designer and realtor irl, so I’m glad my love of house details and landscape, etc shows in TUT. For the pseudohistorical vibe, in the Mortal Realm, I will be referencing the Forbidden City of our Chinese history and a couple popular period C-dramas. Take the settings of period C-dramas like Ruyi’s Royal Love in the Palace, Yanxi Palace, and Nirvana in Fire as examples for what will be awaiting us when we finally meet Airplane in his mortal body. In the Heavenly Realm, the descriptions will be heavily referencing shows that contain aesthetics such as those of Ashes of Love, Love and Redemption, and Eternal Dream.
Take this with a grain of salt just in case I change my mind later on, but in the chapter when we meet Airplane for the first time, I probably won’t say which character he is in the first scene. I’ll give plenty of hints in the first scene so that you all can make your guesses before the big reveal, but I’m fairly confident you all or most of you will be able to pinpoint who he is among the cannon fodders. We’ll meet the emperor, who is discussing with his sons about the matter regarding the approaching calamity that is Luo Binghe. Then when we transition into the second scene, we’ll know exactly which “royal prince OC” it is that our beloved Airplane has transmigrated into, hahaha.
(*Keep in mind, for everything written above, some details are subject to change. Nothing is official until it appears in the story, or I’ve actually drawn my ideas out and posted online to both my tumblr and twitter. These are just my current thoughts.)
A goal of mine for TUT is to make the story widely accessible, meaning it doesn’t matter if the reader is new to the SVSSS fandom or aren’t familiar with the Easter egg references or meta jokes or subtext or even the Chinese culture, or even if English is not their first language. Having knowledge beforehand might help someone notice more hidden details in TUT, yes, but it is a humble wish of this writer for her esteemed readers to be able to dive into the story and get the enjoyable feeling like they’re reading a genuine danmei novel. It really makes me smile whenever I hear feedback that I am able to emulate that experience.
Very exciting developments indeed are in store!
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in which adrien is a science teacher and has to pay his karma by babysitting a teenager that has his exact same humor when he was 15.
Chapter 2 of Chat Noir Is My Science Teacher is up, friends :D
Ch. 2. Mr. Deep
In which Matt is baby and Adrien begins to pay his karma for being a lil shit when he was younger, with interest.
When Matthieu braced himself for the day, the last thing he expected to happen was learning that Mr. Dupain-Cheng, his science teacher, was none other than his idol, Chat Noir.
Yes, Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the dorky teacher who laughed at his own bad science puns and had a themed t-shirt for every day of the week. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the man who thought grading with “You Tried” stars and cat stickers was funny. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, who was so gullible he didn’t notice when students wanted to distract him from giving a lesson by asking him about his wife because they knew he could rant about her for hours. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the only teacher that replied with an ‘ok :)’, a meme, and the signature, ‘Sent from my cat-phone,’ when replying to a well-thought email. That Mr. Dupain-Cheng.
How could this be possible? He was so... so uncool .
Read below the cut or on AO3 by clicking the link above.
When Matthieu braced himself for the day, the last thing he expected to happen was learning that Mr. Dupain-Cheng, his science teacher, was none other than his idol, Chat Noir.
Yes, Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the dorky teacher who laughed at his own bad science puns and had a themed t-shirt for every day of the week. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the man who thought grading with “You Tried” stars and cat stickers was funny. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, who was so gullible he didn’t notice when students wanted to distract him from giving a lesson by asking him about his wife because they knew he could rant about her for hours. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the only teacher that replied with an ‘ok :)’, a meme, and the signature, ‘Sent from my cat-phone,’ when replying to a well-thought email. That Mr. Dupain-Cheng.
How could this be possible? He was so... so uncool .
When Matt thought about who Chat Noir might be under his mask he always pictured someone bold and dashing, maybe one of those cool guys that worked in those crazy science startups. Someone brave, fearless... not a father of two who, Matt was pretty sure, screeched one time a flying cockroach somehow crawled from one of the sinks in the lab. He pictured someone like Barbara Keynes or Peter Parker.
They were witty and mysterious. Mr. Dupain-Cheng was too nice to be a superhero.
“Matt!” Timo tackled him into a hug as Matthieu and Mr. Dupain-Cheng joined the rest of the class. Ladybug had finished handing out autographs to his classmates and had already left. “Are you okay? Did you see the Akuma? It was so sick!”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Matthieu muttered, as Mr. Dupain-Cheng pointedly put as much distance between himself and Matt. He called the class’ attention to continue their museum visit.
“You’re in danger, kid.” His teacher’s words still resounded in Matthieu’s head. “For your own safety, lay low until I decide what to do with this, okay?”
He didn’t give Matt a chance to ask any questions, to say anything. He basically wanted him to ignore this, to act as if he had just found him practicing some obscure hobby outside school.
As they walked, Matt trained his eyes on the back of his teacher’s head, the blond, messy mop of hair towering over the group of teens.
“Hey, Timo?”
“Yeah?”
“Mr. Deep is, like, a nerd, right?”
“Yeah, he’s pretty cool,” Timo said, his attention more invested in his portable video game console than in the conversation. “He knows, like, all the animes.”
“That’s not cool,” said Matt.
“Of course it is,” Timo said, finally peeling his eyes off the screen. “We like that stuff.”
Timo had a point, Matthieu had to admit.
“And remember the time he helped me solder that motherboard we used for the robot competition? That was pretty cool.”
“I... suppose.”
Timo shrugged, blissfully unaware of Matt’s current crisis. “I keep telling you, man,” he said, returning to his videogame. “Mr. Deep is the coolest teacher at school.”
After the field trip, Matt went home stuck in a contemplative trance, wanting to decide what the revelation was that truly bothered him: the fact that Chat Noir’s civilian persona was absolutely nothing like what he had pictured, or that Timo was right and the reason why he disliked Mr. Dupain-Cheng was actually because he looked up to him, and that he embodied the complete opposite of everything Matt was taught to be.
The more he thought about it, the more it made sense, to be honest. As any self-respecting fan, Matthieu knew Chat Noir’s career by heart. He had seen those old clips of him as a teenager, cracking witty jokes and one-liners in the middle of battle. It kind of made sense that he’d grow up to be the kind of man that was unapologetically chaotic. Besides, those memes and punny cat stickers he liked to grade with? Suddenly it seemed all so obvious. It was almost as if Mr. Dupain-Cheng was flaunting the truth in front of everyone, knowing no one would peg him as the kind of man who was a superhero. It was all in the same way no one seemed to understand how on earth such a whacky dude would end up with one of the most successful designers in Paris.
Matt suddenly shot up from the comfort of his bed as he contemplated his thoughts.
Ladybug. Weren’t Ladybug and Chat Noir a couple?
Oh my god, is Mr. Dupain-Cheng cheating on his wife with Ladybug? Or backwards? Wait... Isn’t that famous designer his wife? What’s her name, MDC? No, that’s the brand. Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
Wait.
Does his wife even know? Oh, no... Poor woman! Wait... what if...
Matt gasped. “She’s Ladybug. She has to be.”
He paced around his room, his thoughts going a thousand miles an hour. “I can never let Hawkmoth akumatize me ever again,” he screeched, grabbing handfuls of his hair. “Oh my god!” he shrieked. “Okay, Matt, breathe. Breathe. Just... Think. Okay. This can be good, right? This can be good.”
He kept pacing around.
“Okay, Matt. Okay. You just figured out that Mr. Deep is Chat Noir and his wife is Ladybug... Cool, it’s all cool,” he said to himself in a pitch heightened by the sheer panic that coursed through him. “It’s okay, it’s—.”
He suddenly stopped dead in his tracks as inspiration struck. He gasped excitedly and immediately got on his knees to reach under his bed.
“Of course!” he exclaimed, pulling out a small corkboard he kept hidden under the bed. The board was an indulgent little project if he did say so himself. It wasn’t related to any of his school activities, which is why he had to keep it hidden. Goodness knows what his parents would do if they found out he had been wasting time investigating who Hawkmoth might be.
This wasn’t bad, this was great!
I can help him! Matt thought excitedly. I can help him and Ladybug track Hawkmoth down!
He took a few shots of it with his phone to then ferociously kick it out of view, back under the bed again, when his mother entered his room.
“What are you doing on the floor, Matthieu?” Mrs. Magan, a middle-aged woman with stern eyes, said to him.
“I... lost a coin.”
Mrs. Magan frowned, not making much of the excuse. “Dinner is ready.”
Matthieu let out a silent sigh of relief as his mother turned around, then quickly followed after her, knowing better than to have her remind him a second time.
I can help him, he thought again excitedly. I can be his sidekick!
—-
Matthieu was not one to be late for school, but the day after discovering Mr. Deep’s identity he decided to be extra early, just to make sure he’d be able to talk to him in private. There was always the risk that he’d be late of course, but now that Matthieu knew the reason, he could hardly hold it against him.
Matt was lucky enough to spot him in the Chemistry lab when he arrived. He peeked through the small window on the door. it seemed he was grading papers.
He grinned and immediately went in, hardly being able to contain his excitement.
“Good morning, Mr. Dupain-Cheng!” he exclaimed enthusiastically, causing Adrien to jolt and knock some of the paper sheets to the ground. Matt rushed to pick them up before Adrien had the chance to do so. “So listen, I have thoughts ,” he said as he put the papers back on the desk and fumbled with his backpack to produce his phone. “I was up all night updating my Hawkmoth board, and I was thinking—I was thinking that maybe, you know this philanthropist, Lila Rossi—”
Adrien could only stare dumbfounded at how fast Matt rambled before he even caught the drift of what he was saying. Once he registered it though, he jolted once again.
“Shh!” Adrien hushed at the teen, frantically looking around himself to see if anyone was in the vicinity—even though the door was closed.
“Matthieu, what are you talking about?” he hissed.
“I wanna help you track Hawkmoth!” Matthieu piped with a bright smile, reaching into his backpack again to produce his phone. “Last night, I was thinking, ‘Hey, maybe this happened for a reason.’ I’m pretty good at this whole deduction thing, you know? I’m at the top of the class in almost all subjects and I have like, all the badges possible on the Ladyblog. Also, look, I have this board that I made about all the possible suspects because if you look at the akumatizations there’s a real pattern, and I’m thinking that whoever Hawkmoth might be, has some stuff to work through, because oh my god. Oh, like, this person he—”
“Matthieu, keep your voice down!” Adrien interrupted him. “No! I can’t let you do that. What happened yesterday was an accident, kid. Okay? It’s best if you just... If you just try to pretend like you don’t know anything while Ladybug and I decide what to do. This isn’t a game, Matt. You are in danger. If Hawkmoth ever lays hands on you, there’s no telling what might happen. Stay. Away. From. This.”
Undeterred by the ominous delivery of Mr. Dupain-Cheng’s warning, Matthieu beamed at him. “Don’t worry, Mr. Deep! I’m good at keeping secrets! I—”
“No. It is out of the question, Matthieu. This is dangerous and I—wait, what did you just call me?” Adrien said, suddenly catching the nickname.
Matthieu grew red in the face and smiled sheepishly at his teacher. “Mr. Deep... You know, ‘cause you’re always, like, going off these crazy deep tangents about the physics of akumas and stuff and—Oh my god, that makes so much sense now! Do you study them in your free time? Oh, wow! Do you and Miss Ladybug have a secret layer? Like Majestia and Knight Owl? Wait, actually, don’t answer that. Sensitive information, am I right? Oh! Also, I think Mr. Deep really fits you because you always give us this weirdly specific and deep life advice? And I don’t know how you do it but it’s always on point? Also, your name starts with a D...”
Adrien looked at the boy, shocked, and frankly a little scared that a kid could talk so much, so fast. There’s only one other person he had ever known whose mouth ran like a broken faucet if she was given the chance.
Wait , Adrien thought. Did... did he just pun with my name?
A part of him was flattered, another was surprised, a third one was slightly insulted.
The kid punned with my name. I’m his teacher !
“Matt!” he exclaimed, interrupting Matthieu’s spoken stream of consciousness. “No. This is final. Stay away from this. I don’t want to have to repeat myself. It is final.”
Again, unfazed by Adrien’s effort to act seriously, Matthieu beamed at him. “Don’t worry, Mr. Deep. I’ll prove you can trust me! I would not trust me, too, if I were you. But I’ll prove it! You’ll see.”
The bell rang, and with it came a thankful end to the conversation. At least on Adrien’s side.
“And don’t call me Mr. Deep.”
“Okay, Mr. Deep!” Matthieu said, beaming at him as he made his way out of the classroom. “Oops! I mean, Mr. DC.”
Adrien sighed, glaring at the boy and feeling some sort of karmic entity laughing at him. He knew exactly what Matt’s energetic yet jesterly energy reminded him of: a sixteen-year-old version of himself whose favorite pastime was seeing how much foolery he could get away with before Ladybug decided to murder him in cold blood.
“It’s your karma,” Plagg muttered quietly before his students began pouring into the classroom. “Kid’s your spitting image. Though I gotta say, he blabbers as much as Spots.”
“Oh, shush it!”
“You know you have to tell her soon, right?” Plagg muttered from inside Adrien’s overshirt. “The more you delay, the deeper your grave.”
“I said shush.”
The little god snickered. “Someone’s in trouble.”
Plagg was right, though. Adrien had to tell Marinette about this. It was already bad that he didn’t tell her the moment it happened. She hated it when he did that. But in his defense, he knew she had a tough day at the label and he didn’t want to freak her out. He hoped that excuse would be enough. Plagg had laughed at him when he asked for his opinion about it.
Yeah, he was in trouble.
There was no way but through, he knew this. That didn’t mean his legs could tell the difference between an honest conversation with his life partner and the visceral fear for his survival that was elicited at the image of said conversation. He felt them buckle as he casually leaned against the kitchen island, trying his best to act natural.
The kids had been put to bed and there was thankfully no Akuma in sight. At least not yet.
Marinette sighed with relief as she swiftly undid her hair and reached into the fridge for a bottle of wine. If Adrien hadn’t been so terrified by what he was about to do, he’d allow himself to swoon at her.
Witnessing Marinette shed the tiredness of the day as she swapped into comfortable clothes—usually loose shirts and yoga pants— and poured her drink of choice was one of his favorite things to watch. It didn’t matter that they had been living together for a little over seven years now, he’d never get tired of watching her exist.
“You want some?” Marinette said as she stood on her tiptoes to reach the shelf where they kept the wine glassware.
“Yeah, sure,” Adrien said, then continued speaking after thanking his wife for the wine. “You’ll never guess what happened today.”
“What?” she said, clinking her glass against his before taking the first sip.
“A kid punned with my name.”
Marinette chuckled. “Really? What did he call you?”
“Mr. Deep.”
Marinette snorted as she took another sip from the glass.
“He said it’s because I like to go on deep tangents and because my name starts with a D. Kid can’t pun to save his life.”
Marinette smirked at him. “You’re one to talk.”
He dropped his jaw. “I can’t believe you just asked me for a divorce, m’lady.”
Marinette rolled her eyes and smiled, walking past him on the way to the couch. She placed her wine glass on a small side table and pulled out a sketchbook from one of its drawers. She busied herself reviewing her work while Adrien gathered the courage to nudge the conversation in the direction it needed to go.
“M’lady?” he said from behind her.
“What did you do,” Marinette replied immediately, as she flipped through the pages of the sketchbook.
”I— why do you always assume I did something?”
Marinette turned around and mocked him, then gave him a knowing smirk. “It’s in your tone, Chaton. You can’t lie.”
“I am an excellent liar, I’ll have you know.” He stopped himself from bragging further, seeing as Marinette frowned.
“What is it, Adrien? What happened?”
Adrien’s palms were sweating with anxiety. He gulped. “First of all, I love you and you know that, right?”
“Adrien,” Marinette said, her voice hitching up her tone.
“It’s nothing bad . I mean, it’s a ‘could be worse’ sort of situation.”
“ Adrien !”
“Hypothetically speaking, imagine... what if, er... one of the wielders accidentally revealed himself to someone who, uh, someone who absolutely shouldn’t know? Hypothetically speaking.”
“Adrien, what did you DO ?” Marinette screeched.
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bread-of-death · 2 years
Text
Oh I just realized I forgot to tell this story
So my house gets a lot of cockroaches, and my dog doesn’t care about killing them, and I don’t like killing them either -even with shoes- so there’ll be like three or four that come out at night
I also really, really hate cockroaches, they are no bueno for me
I always wear shoes(house slippers) downstairs because of this and also the floors are frequently dirty, but when I play Xbox, I kick em off, and normally don’t put em back on for awhile unless I’m going to the kitchen
So on one such night where I was playing Xbox, I went to the bathroom, and didn’t have my shoes on, cuz I didn’t think I needed them. And when I walk into the bathroom and turn the light on, I’m met with a cockroach who seems just as startled to see me as I am to see it.
And we both flip our shit, me doing a weird dance because the bathroom is painfully small, and I really really don’t want this thing to crawl on my foot, or to accidentally step on it. And this poor lil dude is just trying so hard not to get stepped on. At one point I was trying to look down to see where he was, and I bonked my head on the wall.
He did eventually escape unscathed, but I just thought it was really funny how equally startled we both were
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reidecorating · 4 years
Text
Waking up Slow
Requested: Nope, this is just what happens when I decide to avoid studying for physics 
Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler x Female Reader 
Word Count: Around 2k
Summary: It’s been a dream of mine to wear Gube’s alien shirt and make him food and just have a good old yarn with the man so I decided to write about it. This is just a whole lot of flirting and banter and making out on a Sunday morning
Warnings: None, a lil spicy but pretty SFW, might mistake this for a pillow though, with the amount of fluff
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Rays of impatient late morning sun poured in through the gaps in the curtains, which were hastily shut the night before, as they failed to meet in the middle. Matthew never minded sleeping with them half open. Some nights, he would squint and try to make out constellations in the cosmos as his whole world lay curled up beside him, her ear against his heartbeat the way a young child would listen to the ocean through a shell. Other nights, when they would both lay tired and out of breath, she would call him moonlight as her fingers danced along his collarbones, shimmering in the star shine as the thin veil of sweat painting them was the only evidence of what they had been doing previously. However, now, while the two of them remained entwined, the white sheets appeared to glow yellow in the wake of the stars which had collected into one, hours ago. She woke up to Matthew’s arm draped around her waist, having found its way under the fabric of the shirt that scantily covered her, in an attempt to share the warmth of her skin. Stretching and letting out a yawn, she debated falling back asleep, seeing as her only interlocutor was still doing the same. Craning her neck over the pile of poetry sitting on the bedside table, obscuring her view, she made out the small digital numbers reading just before midday, and turned to face the dozing man beside her.
Her eyes brushed over him in all his sleeping beauty, head resting against the supple skin of his upturned palm, brown hair brighter in the morning light, pixie nose tilted up towards the headboard. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks at whatever he was dreaming of, and she wanted, so badly, to taste the pink of his parted lips, to join his dreamscape by breathing into his lungs. A large portion of the sheets had been stolen by her in the middle of the night. While she was bundled up like a cinnamon roll, Matthew lay exposed to whatever monsters and ghosts he claimed reside in his house. His bare chest rose and fell with each breath, but her eyes trailed down to where the waistband of his pyjamas hung temptingly low on his hips, leaving very little to the imagination. Catching her off guard, he pried open one eye, the murky waters of a pond spilling into her view. “It’s rude to stare,”
“Not at art, it isn’t,” she combated his teasing. He groaned theatrically as he stretched out across the span of the bed before regaining his position. “I won’t take sugar in my coffee then, you’re sweet enough,” he smirked. “Oh no, could you please move, I’m actually trying to look at the portrait behind you,” she teased. “Evil,”
“But you love me,”
“I do.”
He removed his arm from where it rested, a little too low on her body, to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger on her cheek, absentmindedly stroking his thumb against the slight flush of her face. She tilted her head slightly to delicately graze her lips against the inside of Matthew’s wrist, making his breath hitch. “Kiss me?” She asked, giving into the adoring look in his eyes. “Your wish is my command, m’lady,” 
“Wow, a magician and a genie, I really hit the jackpot with you,”
“You’re really going to leave bodybuilder off the list? With muscles like these? I’m built like…Dwayne Johnson. Did you know they wanted me to be in the Fast and Furious series? But they actually thought I was ‘too buff’ and ‘too macho’ and all my sex appeal would distract from the plot, so they had to settle for Dwayne.”
Laughing into his chest, she pulled herself up and straddled his waist, bringing the blanket with her as if it were a cape. “I’m not joking, Y/N, my net worth is sixty thousand dollars per muscle,” he continued, one hand behind his head and the other now resting on her bare hip, tracing light circles on the skin where her giant shirt had ridden up, revealing the black band of her underwear. “Essentially, what you’re saying is that I could sell you on the black market and make a lot of cash?” She asked him raising an eyebrow and toying with the mess of his hair. “You could, but then you would miss out on this.” He finally kissed her, slow and tactile. Resting on her forearms, linked together above his head, she let her hair drape down and tickle the sides of his face. He swiped his tongue along her bottom lip, at a painstakingly low pace, his hands now caressing her jaw and dabbling with her hair. She breathed him in while he continued to gently suck at her lips, then jaw, then neck, eliciting faint moans from her. “We’re hungry,” he spoke, halting his actions, removing her from her reverie. “Matthew, don’t stop,” she whined semi-facetiously. He gave her a smug look, eyebrows raised. “Fine, I’ll make you food - only because you did it yesterday - but we’re not done here,” she huffed, making him chuckle as she crossly got off him, and out of bed. “It looks nice on you, pumpkin,” Matthew chirped. Tilting her head in confusion, she looked down and realised he was referring to his whimsical alien shirt she had stolen the night before. The buttons that were undone torturously left Matthew craving her skin, as she gave him a glimpse of his favourite view each time she bent down to slide on a sock. “Considering it is a woman’s top…”
“Hey!” He threw a pillow at her, “I thought it looked nice, something a space cowboy would wear during his leisurely time,” “I didn’t say it didn’t look nice!” Her hands went up in surrender, suppressing a smile when she threw the pillow back in his direction. Making her way towards the kitchen, she left him starstruck and staring at the ceiling, smiling to himself like a teenager in love.
Eyes getting tired of reading the words of Robert Frost, when his stomach grumbled loud enough to genuinely frighten him, he placed down the book and followed the enticing aroma wafting into his room. When he saw her, she was humming to herself, swaying to the rhythm of whatever song was playing in her head. He admired her bare legs as the hem of his shirt skimmed the tops of her thighs. Gazing at her tied hair swinging to and fro, giving him snippets of the back of her neck, he became eager to pick up where they had left off. “Hey there lover of mine, wasn’t it you who told me its rude to stare?” She beamed at him, turning around cradling a giant bowl of some sort of mixture in one arm while sporting a giant wooden spoon with the other. He realised she must’ve heard him shuffling around, he wasn’t the most graceful person alive after all. His heart melted at the smile she sent his way, tucking his lip beneath his teeth to avoid grinning back so hard he would sprain something. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he glanced down at his feet from where he leant against the doorframe. She still made him nervous. However, the man never failed to make her fall past the point of no return each day, so they were even. “I’m so in love with you, Gube,” she shook her head and laughed, facing the stove again. He stepped forwards and slunk his arms around her, planting a kiss on her cheek before dipping a finger in the batter to taste it. “I tried making us heart shaped pancakes,” she muttered sheepishly. “Key word, tried.” He stifled a laugh, looking at the piles of pancakes on their plates, decorated in berries and cream. “Maybe if you squint and look at them from really really far away they look a little bit like hearts…”
“Do you have a warrant for all this pancake slander? Because I wasn’t aware that you were the geometry police,” she poured the last of the batter into the pan before piling up more dishes. “The proportions in my paintings can speak to that,” He pointed to his latest work in progress leaning against the wall, its newest layer drying in the spring breeze which was fleeting past the rickety handles of the kitchen windows. “I’m glad Picasso came and went when he did, poor man’d be facing some real competition if he was still around,” setting down his warm brew in front of him as he dug into his - what was now - brunch, she continued to tantalise him. “Are you mocking my curvaceous abstract cockroach? It actually came to me in a dream once,”
“Matthew, you did not just use the adjective ‘curvaceous’ in regards to an insect,” she chuckled, “but a dream? Really?” She pressed on, wondering, one, why he was dreaming about the revolting beasties and, two, whether she should leave him while she still could. “No, I lied, I just saw your face and felt inspired,” he winked. “Hurtful,” she scoffed. “All the artistic recognition is getting to your head, fame changed you Gube,”
“What’s a man without his roach?” A fake western accent glossing his words as he made a gesture of stroking a bug between his hands made you throw your head back in laughter. “Well, I’ll be damned, a roach-less man!” She chimed in, sounding almost as Texan as he did, making it his turn to laugh.
They ate in a serene silence, aside from Matthew’s odd compliments to the chef, both enjoying the view from opposite sides of the kitchen counter.  “So, aside from finishing that horrid thing,” she tilted her head in the direction of his painting, “what’s on the agenda for the one, and the only, Salvador Dali, today?” Matthew breathed out a laugh in response to her comparison. “Would you still love me if I grew out my moustache like his?”
“Bold of you to assume I love you even without the moustache,” A false and dramatic look of hurt found its way onto his face as she teasingly blew him a kiss from where she stood at the sink. “Anyway, now that you’ve completely destroyed my self confidence and broken my tiny, fragile heart, to answer your question… You are, actually,” he spun around on his bar stool. A sea of scarlet rose up her neck and made a home in her cheeks at his simple remark. “Well… I’m glad, because you’ve been at the top of my ’To Do’ list for a while now.”
She placed their cups in the sink and made her way over to where he sat, the seat of the stool resembling a bottle cap. “Is that so?” He smirked, now wearing the same shade of blush she was, as she stood between his knees, letting her hands snake up around his neck. “Mhm,” she gently planted her lips on his, “and you’re one thing I’m not going to procrastinate on getting done,” 
“You’re killing me, Y/N,” he breathed against her mouth. “You’ve always wanted you be a ghost, haven’t you?” She felt him smile against her as her lips glided over his. She placed one hand, still warm from the coffee it had been cradling, on his chest while the other inattentively played with the wiry tendrils of hair at the nape of his neck. The effect she had on him hadn’t changed with time, even after two years, she realised, his racing heartbeat evident beneath her palm.
This time, when their lips met, it was slightly more desperate, the need for one another gushing from both of them. She captured his bottom lip beneath hers, gently biting down before drawing back for air. Matthew gazed at her devotedly, eyebrows furrowing together when she kissed him again. While her tongue traced over his lips, enchanting him, his hands travelled down to her thighs, gripping each of them firmly before standing up and lifting her onto the counter. Their lips separated with a small smack as she gasped at the contrast in temperature between the granite and her skin. His nose skimmed hers when he made his way back down along the same path he had travelled earlier that morning, this time, unbuttoning the remainder of the shirt she wore, the heavenly sounds she was making leaving him in a trance. He adored seeing her this way, unguarded and sinking in his touch.  “You’re sensational, Matthew,” she sighed, tugging at his hair and craning her neck back to allow him more access. He nipped at the column of her throat, smiling to himself at the comment. She had no clue what she did to him. “Angel, I don’t often get dessert after breakfast, but do you think you can make it happen for me today?”
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Note
So what if for a motive instead of kokichi being a giant he’s shrunk and stuck with shuichi :0! ( like continuing off of the other motive writing you did -)
hiii I'm glad for this req I was hoping someone would catch my drift and ask for a sequel since I had an idea for it in mind 💃 altho I took a wittle little bit of liberty with your req I hope you don't mind
(again terribly sorry for the delay friend I hardly had any time for this hope you'll enjoy either way)
___
Word count: 1800
Summary: The game master has a new dirty trick up their sleeve to get rid of a certain little liar; but Kokichi isn't going down so easily, even with the threat of now death waiting for him at every corner.
___
It seemed the mastermind wasn’t too pleased when the motive hadn’t gotten him murdering and executed, so their next plan was to get him directly murdered.
Kokichi stands in Monokuma’s shadow, expression blank in face of the bear’s cruel cackles. It's a wonder how the mastermind can see him as a threat when he hasn't been able to stop any of the past murders, but he's still flattered that he's managed to mess with their plans enough that they'd stoop to such a low motive.
When the monochromatic bear leaves, Kokichi is left silently staring at the rest of his classmates from his spot on the cafeteria table, standing at the miserable height of a toy. Any other day, jokes and taunts and lies would be flowing out of his mouth, but his mind doesn’t come up with anything when he’s surrounded by classmates who he knows are already thinking of killing him and hiding his body to avoid a class trial; the same classmates whom he could hold in the palm of his hand only yesterday.
Silent and unmoving as he is, they must think him a scared little child; Kokichi Ouma, supreme leader of evil, reduced to some cute joke, some fanservice for an audience to coo at before he inevitably dies. The thought of the mastermind looking down on him and laughing to themselves at the moment is near sickening.
Kiibo is first to speak up, “So… What should we do about this?”
“I say,” Maki’s reply is instantaneous, like she’d been waiting to say those next words for too long, “We end this killing game right here and now.”
And when she takes a swift step forward, red eyes piercing through his tiny form with a murderous intent he’s seen too many times already, Kokichi can’t do anything but resign himself to the fact that he won’t live to stop the killing game.
Then something darts in front of him and blocks his view, and he thinks he somehow must’ve dreamed the words, “Maki, don’t hurt him.”
It takes his paranoid brain longer than he’d like to admit to realize that the hand in front of him isn’t coming to grab him and squeeze his guts out, rather, it’s shielding him. A gesture he wouldn’t expect coming from anyone in this room, except-
“You can't fall for the mastermind's trick so easily.” Shuichi stands towering in front of him in a protective stance, like some knight in shining armor; and to think this is the same boy who was cowering in his presence only days ago.
"Yeah! Harumaki, you promised, remember?" Kaito, the actual knight in shining armor of the academy, doesn't come to protect him; instead, he steps up to Maki and places a hand on her shoulder. Of course, when killer girl is trying to kill poor lil' Kokichi, it's still her who needs help and support and not the doll-sized villainous boy about to be murdered. "This has gotta be a trap or somethin'."
"Right," Shuichi joins in. He briefly glances over his shoulder at Kokichi, and the now tiny boy meets his gaze with the same blank expression. "Think about it, doesn't this new motive seem more like a way to…" his gaze lingers on Kokichi's small form for a second longer, before he tears it away, "… to get rid of a specific classmate?"
"Yeah," Kaito chimes in, "I'm starting to think the mastermind wants Kokichi dead for whatever reason," The grave expression on his face matches the morbidity of his statement. He slams his fists together in determination, "We can't let that happen."
"I do agree," Kiibo pipes up, "That if Kokichi was the enemy hiding among us, it wouldn't make sense to put himself in such… disadvantageous situation," he's hesitant and careful with his choice of word, like he could somehow be tiny-phobic.
"You're all overthinking this too much," Maki's cold gaze falls back on him, and if looks could kill, a body discovery announcement would have played out, "The killing game stops when the mastermind is dead. Simple as that."
The pressure of her stare threatens to crush him. Kokichi's legs nearly give out under his weight, and his first reaction is to stumble a few steps back and plaster a grin on his face.
“Pish posh, poor Harumaki… wants to kill me so badly, she's ready to do it in front of everyone,” His voice nearly wavers, he takes another step back for good measure. No use in trying to reason with an assassin or try to gain anyone’s sympathy; it’s always easier to stick to the role he’s written himself into.
Kokichi speaking for the first time seems to trigger the whole cafeteria to erupt in a cacophony again. Maki tries to push past Kaito and Shuichi to get her grubby hands on the little leader, and the two boys defend him (at least he thinks they do); someone yawns and someone else gasps and exclamations and accusations are thrown around.
"There has to be more to this motive!"
"You're protecting him over a maybe?"
"This is terrible, we shouldn't fight!"
"Nyeh… we still haven't had breakfast…"
They argue and bicker, like they always do when a new motive is presented and they don’t know what to make of it. Kokichi finds it easy enough to block out the obnoxious voices. He lets cold logic take over his mind and shadow his fear as he assesses the situation.
Even if he refuses, they'll probably force him to be baby-sat by someone. Staying with Maki or Miu is out of the question. Kiibo would be a good choice if Kokichi wanted the eyes of the mastermind and the audience on his back at all time, and Himiko would be a good choice if he wanted all the protection of a bodyguard who doesn't tolerate him and sleeps most of the time.
Gonta does tolerate him and has already worked with him in the past; he wouldn't be a bad choice, but for now Kokichi has a feeling he'll end up sleeping in a bug case with cockroaches if he goes with the giant entomologist, so he'll pass. Kaito superman-wannabe-Momota wouldn't be so bad either, but he'll probably take advantage of the situation and try to get the tiny boy to open up about his super evil dark past or whatever; so again, he'll pass for now.
And then there's Shuichi… Staying with his beloved detective, they could stay up late at night and braid each other's hair and share their secrets, they could make plans together and explore the school and beat the mastermind like some iconic duo, they could even pick that night's game of chess back up since Kokichi still remembered the setting of the board. Staying with Shuichi, truely a dream come true, and a dream right in his reach. But he wasn't in dreamland, he was stuck in a killing game hell where he couldn't let his facade slip and show vulnerability so easily to the protagonist of their game. His eyes fall to the floor with the shame of entertaining such a dream before remembering the sobering reality. Staying with Shuichi is out the question.
Kokichi goes back to listening to the conversarion, but he finds the room silent and eight pairs of eyes on him.
“Kokichi,” Shuichi speaks again. The boy is tempted to look away, but he forces his eyes to meet the giant detective's faded gold ones, “you can stay with me if you want?"
A taunting smirk pushes its way to his face. “Man, Saihara wants to get a hold of me so he can do all kindsa weird stuff to me? Ew ew ew, so gross, I'm so terrified! How could you do this to a frightened little boy?”
“Kokichi,” he considers the exasperation in the detective’s tone a victory to him, although an unpleasant one, “You don’t need to be so obnoxious, if there’s someone you want to stay with, you can say it.” Sheesh, wasn't Shuichi dying to talk to him the other night?
His best option isn’t ideal, but he can't get too picky in his current situation. “Welll, I think I’d like to stay with big sis Shirogane!” he hears the girl in question sputter a noise of surprise, and all eyes turn to her.
“What are you planning?” Maki speaks again after a long silence, voice betraying her skepticism.
“Oh, are you jealous I didn’t pick you, big sis Harumaki?” Do you want to die?
“Do you want to die?” Bingo. Too predictable.
“Uhm,” Tsumugi’s meek voice cuts him off before he can retort, “Why me? I-I mean, I don’t mind, I just don’t understand?”
Kokichi turns to her, and she nearly flinches at his attention. At least there’s one person in the room who’s still intimidated by him. “I just wanted to stay with my absolute favourite girl in this academy," as he says that, he walks around Shuichi's still outstretched hand to better face the absolute favourite girl in question, shooting on his way a quick glance up the detective, "aaand there's also this one cosplay I really wanna try now that I'm cutie-sized. That is, if Shirogane is fine with it?"
Tsumugi looks down to her feet and starts to vibrate with excitement hard enough that he can feel it under his feet. "O-Oh, I am fine with it. I wonder if we're both thinking of the same anime… but the only male character there has a dark skin tone, and there's one girl that really looks like you… You don't mind wearing a dress, do you?" She's already walking up to him with an outstretched hand, as if driven by the by the force of her love of cosplay.
Kokichi blinks his fear away and steps into the unsteady surface, immediately understanding the fear and discomfort in Shuichi's face that last night. Questions and accusations are still coming at him left and right, but he pointedly ignores it all and waves back to his remaining classmates with his cockiest smile as he leaves in the giant girl's hand, mind already buzzing with plans to survive the new motive.
___
hope you don't mind the bit of saiou angst twist thing in the end 😔😔 I was too tempted to resist. Well hope u enjoyed dear !!
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planetjisungie · 4 years
Text
détester- l.dh
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characters; slytherin! haechan x gryffindor! reader ft. gryffindor! mark (its just a given at this point) and slytherin! jisung
summary; enemies to lovers, you and donghyuck had always just hated eachother. you dont know when it started, or why it started but it was starting to get annoying.
an; i WILL finish my hogwarts series tonight we only have chenle left but now we have more fluff than actual crack because simon says is playing
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congratulations you have reached gryffindor level you lucky prick
only the finest gryffindor
you are the embodiment of courage, literally if there was a ditch and someone fell down while everyone was too scared to help them, youd dive in before they could even say ‘dumbledore’
and you just so happen to be the younger sister of mark lee
the infamous mark lee,, that is
lucky prick part 2
but one thing made you seem not so lucky
your sworn enemy, lee donghyuck
or haechan as he liked to be called because apparently all evil villains needed a fake name
thats what you said anyway, he just liked the name haechan for its meaning
but he was also the emodiment of a slytherin, ambitious, cunning, resourceful and he was a pretty damn good leader
hence him being the captain of the quidditch team (no we are not going down the jisung route)
you didnt actually know when you started hating him, in your first year he had just decided to tie your poor, poor cat like a pig for roasting (he was in his second year already)
mr snuggles was traumatized
after that day it was small things to annoy you
like when he put hair dye in your conditioner bottle, resulting in your hair turning out a seafoam green colour
which you actually didnt mind so the joke was really on him, you pulled that shit off
or when he put spiders in your school shoes
that was unpleasant
and he also put a cockroach in your pocket, scaring your poor best friend who was terrified of the creatures
jisung was shaking, he hates cockroaches
to this day you still didnt know why he was a slytherin, but you guessed it was because he was a pureblood, very ambitious and resourceful but not so scary
but today was no exception
you walked towards the gryffindor table, robe billowing behind you as if you were walking in a movie
you were a lee sibling, you were both good at literally everything and deserved all the praise on earth
you fucking go girl, i stan
jisung sat at your table, the gryffindors appeared not to mind, especially as he was actually super nice
"y/n haechan told me to give you this"
ah there it was
the small hufflepuff girl handed you the letter before scurrying off back to her table
"y/n im scared"
jisung was already frightened of what that letter would hold
and you were a good friend, who knew no good would come from that letter
so you shoved it in your pocket, letting it crumple up before turning back to your breakfast
rip donghyuck
that was a fat L for our boy
he just wanted your attention
at first at least, he just wanted to be noticed by you so he pulled the cat stunt, making sure he didn’t actually harm the creature because he is still a decent human being and the grey furry animal did nothing to him
but now he had taken things too far
and he realised that after the stunt he pulled which resulted in you
yes, you, the brave, courageous gryffindor, crying
yeah he fucked up
he casted an illusion spell that infiltrated your sleep, creating nightmares with your deepest fears
and he regretted that
prank gone wrong *nearly killed her* (not clickbait)
you were still pissed at him for that
but that letter in your pocket was no ordinary letter
it was a confession letter, because he; yes him, the infamous slytherin, was too scared to talk to you about it in person
yet you literally just crushed his heart
which he kinda deserved to be fair
but jisung sent you a grateful smile and you went back to your conversation of which cereal brand was better
the answer is obviously lucky charms or frosted shreddies pengers mate
so our baby slytherin needed to find another way to get his feelings across because he was failing
and brother mark was: not happy
mark was a friend of haechan but despite his complaints every goddamn time that he needed to stop his stupid jokes that weren’t actually jokes, he didnt listen
maybe he shouldve listened
mark knows best
apart from jenos fic, mark was a real bitch but this is mark 2.0
mark really doesnt know best
anyways moving on
its time for innovative hyuck™️
so its back to the drawing room, sitting next to yuta (his head boy) to discuss the next plan of action
cutie yuta felt that haechan opening up to him about his feelings was the biggest achievement during his time at hogwarts
so right, the next plan
it was to leave flowers on your bed and then when you turned around to see who put them there (hypothetically) he would be there and he could make his outstanding apology
but of course, this isnt some fanfiction where everything goes right
who do you take me for?
so later that day he gathered his flowers, tying them in a cute dark green ribbon
staying with the slytherin theme
and he put them on your bed
they were some seriously nice flowers
you noticed them as soon as you walked in and your heart swelled
unfortunately that wasnt the only thing that swelled
you were allergic to pollen, and your eyes had puffed up slightly, itching a little and you had some sniffles
that was another L for hyuck
and he ran, he fucking booked it out of his little hiding spot back to his common room aka the dungeon
"YUTA I FAILED"
"how the fuck do you fail giving someone flowers hyuck?"
"shes fucking allergic"
so you never found out who gave you flowers
but
but you did keep them, despite your obvious physical irritation to them
they were pretty :(((
so you pressed them into a random notebook you found, because seriously you couldnt just chuck them out
unfortunately for hyuck, he was not so slick to mark who narrowed his eyes on the boy
he knew something was up
what kind of torture device was flowers ?? this was too soft
and so he found out that the same boy who had been making your life a little
how should i say
s p i c y
had a fat crush on you and was just a pouty baby who wanted your love and attention
cute
mark didnt know whether to support this?? like ?? he knew that underneath your front of disliking the long legged boy, you had some feelings, maybe small but they were there
you wouldve called it fondness
because
i promise youre not a sadist or masochist
but you would see him in class
he was very focused and had a beautiful smile
and laugh
he may come across a little... stand offish and arrogant at first but hes actually a kind soul
from how he made a mess in the grand hall but when he thought everyone was gone, he stayed behind to help clean it, having fun conversations with the staff (elves? who tf cleans the great hall??)
that goddamn melodious laughter constantly ringing in your head
shawtys like a melody in my head
but moving on
you noticed the pranks he pull decreased
and that was because he was spending time with yuta and mark, planning the perfect, foolproof (unfortunately not jeno this time) way to confess
and he sent you small smiles ?? what ??
this is so unlike the hyuck you knew
like he did a 180
i did a full 180 baby crazy
i said this was gonna be less crackish but when regular comes on and you hear jaehyuns queso line you cant not feel qUirKy
(bbq- bb—s mY DIAMONDS I DONT NEED NO LIGHT TO SHINE- jungwoo)
okay so the next plan
you loved quidditch too, mainly because your brother was the captain for the gryffindor team
so the plan was for you to attend the slytherin v gryffindor match and
mark somewhat willingly agreed to have a friendly match so that hyuck could show off his skills
this was an awful plan
because it was raining the day of the match
so you and jisung huddled together for warmth, shivering as you watched the match
and hyuck couldnt feel worse, he felt like you were now going to be sick because of him
damn, you really couldnt catch a break
the groan of pure frustration yuta let out was amusing at least
he was just as invested in this as haechan at this point
like he was germinating a seed??? he was fathering this relationship
so with another L, haechan felt super super bad
and this baby cooked for you
he got his best friend jaemin to teach him how to make chicken soup
because you were actually not a herbivore
(thats the category i put vegans and vegetarians in)
omnivore tings
so he carried his little pot of soup, his fingers kind of burning as it was piping hot
he legit walked right past a suffering jisung in the slytherin dorm, the pot of soup still in hand not even sparing a thought about taking pity on the poor kid and giving him some
so he walked to your dorm, being let in by mark who was being big bro™️ and looking after your sick ass
you looked dead
pale skin, eyes closed, lips tinted blue, your body was shivering but you felt fucking boiling
peak peak times
but haechan still thought you looked gorgeous
mark vacated the dorms, leaving to his lessons so hyuck could look after you
this wasnt a plan ?? but hyuck rolled with it
setting his lil pot down he sat in a seat next to you, staring at your asleep awake form with closed eyes
his eyes held so much love and adoration for you, you really are lucky
he took off his robe, just sitting there in his shirt, trousers and green tie and watching you sleep
you were actually awake, just vibing and breathing to stay alive
and he had a lot on his chest
"i know ive been a massive prick to you and im really sorry. i know you’re asleep right now but im too much of a coward to say this to your face. i really only just wanted your attention because i seem to have feelings for you and i am sincerely sorry for going about it the wrong way"
your ears were {}
wide open
boy were you listening and taking this all in
oh shit
realizashun xx
so you fluttered your eyes open gently, watching his face morph into an expression of pure terror from his previous one of literal love
*whipping noise*
"youre awake!" he squeaked out, eyes darting around the room to look at anything but you
which you couldnt help but smile at
shifting to the side in your bed slightly, you lifted the covers, lazily patting the now open space
"c’mere"
your voice was kind of croaky and hoarse
that made hyuck feel guilty
baby it wasn’t your fault
but he complied, kicking off his leather school shoes and sliding besides you, staying as far away from you as possible
not to offend you, his heart was just going a million miles a second and there was no way you wouldn’t be able to hear it
this boy was like blushy sausage face part 2
arrogant hyuck has left the chat
you pouted seeing him shuffle away from you, shuffling to move yourself closer instead
power move, he either had to cuddle with you or fall off the bed
"can we just forget what i said earlier?"
that made you frown
the fuck?
hell no
"hyuck wait-"
"no dont bring it up its embarrassing"
whiny baby is back
"hyuck i-"
"nope nope nope nope"
"LET ME SPEAK FOR FUCKS SAKE"
he had no choice but to listen
your voice sounded strained already and he didnt want to make you feel worse
"i have feelings for you too you big baby"
double take
you what now?
haechans mouth just kinda froze open
so you shut his jaw gently
cant let him get jaw ache
"wait what?"
his soul has returned
he felt elated, completely happy, dare i say like he was high on a drug and said drug was not THC it was your TLC (LMAO GET IT IM PROUD OF THAT)
and so thats how mark returned to your dorm room to see you and hyuck cuddled in your bed, your head laying on his chest as his chin rested on your head, nuzzling into your hair (which was still half seafoam green might i add)
hyuck wasnt awake to celebrate, so yumark had their own small celebration, counting this as their success
you only found out he had put the flowers on your bed about two months after you started dating
a month after that you read the letter he gave you
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