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theseerasures · 3 years

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why is it so hard to defect from Atlas?

Barbara Dunkelmann said during Comic-Con at Home last year that this season’s theme would be “distrust,” but i’m wondering now if the more appropriate word is “discontent.” since Divide, we’ve had arguments big and small, teams splitting up and recombining, and of course, :( and :/ galore at all the war, all the crimes, all the war crimes, and all the general bad decisions (not to be confused with James Ironwood, General Bad Decisions). we’ve now had our first major defections of the season with Hazel and Emerald, which is...interesting to me; they’re both long-runners, certainly, but part of the reason they’re long-running is because their arcs have ALWAYS been on a slow boil. for the defection to happen around the mid-season mark, a lot of things (particularly for Hazel) had to happen very quickly, particularly since they both skipped out the previous season altogether. this is made all the more interesting by the fact that the Atlesian supporting cast who filled the time in season 7 are similarly discontented, but...well, a generous reading of it would be that they’re still “figuring things out,” but we’ve also been watching them “figure things out” for two seasons now, Winter and Marrow especially. why did Hazel and Emerald defect first when they work for the main villain, when Winter and the AceOps--who have taken up more screen time cumulatively during the Atlas arc--are still hemming and hawing to various degrees?

long discussion under the cut--but the tl;dr is: it’s because they live in a (narratively constructed) society

i’m actually gonna start with the discontent that DIDN’T result in defection, which is obviously the Yang-Ruby split. we’ve known that members of Team Protagonist--most notably Yang and Ren--have had doubts for a while now, and sure enough, when push comes to shove they pick a path separate from their implicit leader. as protagonists Yang and Ren are frequently our POV characters, so we’re predisposed to sympathize with them as they doubt Ruby’s agenda, root for them as they bring it up to Ruby in conversation, and...watch as they...regretfully but cordially agree to disagree...

wait, what?

that’s the thing about Team Protagonist, especially at this point in the narrative: everyone feels safe and secure enough in themselves and in each other to communicate openly, even when they disagree. every time Yang felt uncomfortable she talked to somebody about it, and even Ren--Mr. Weaponizing Repression himself--was able to express how he felt. even if it took some prodding from Nora/Yang, even if the direction of his emotions ended up misfiring and hurting his friends--they’re his friends. his family, even. Team Protagonist is able to act and stay together so effectively because they make open communication a priority: they follow Ruby’s lead, but they also trust that Ruby will LISTEN to them, even if she doesn’t always agree.

(the reason they had this disagreement at all is because of the time they couldn’t talk things through, and just had to uncritically back Ruby’s play--when they first entered Atlas. funny, that.)

Team Salem obviously doesn’t work the same way, and this season has made it particularly explicit just how much everyone lives in a state of constant fear and surveillance. what makes solidarity and eventual rebellion possible (though terrifying), though, are two things: first, Salem--being an upstart herself--actually encourages a level of individual initiative in her followers (well. encouraged; i have a feeling with the Hound being a success and Hazel and Emerald’s defection she’s about to change her tune). she’s a master manipulator, and uses people’s individual wants to sway them to her side; but she’s also not a mind-reader, which is kind of biting her in the ass right now.

second, Salem herself is so many LEAGUES beyond everyone else on her “team” that (unless you’re actively trying to be a tit) there...isn’t actually much of a hierarchy beyond “Salem’s in charge.” Watts and Cinder--both Atlesian to varying degrees, mind--are the two who try the hardest to carve out some authority of their own, but even Watts is at least convivial with everyone (except Cinder). to be on Team Salem you have to accept that this is her world and you just live in it, and that ends up equalizing people from very disparate backgrounds with very disparate personalities and skillsets. no one, not even Tyrian, is under the delusion that Salem cares about them, or will listen to their counsel. so when it comes to the least of her followers--Emerald, who (joke copyright @professorspork) is basically Salem’s grandpet, this gerbil who follows her around now for some reason and occasionally makes weird noises (”you mean crying?” Emerald asks, crying)--it’s actually quite easy for her to escape Salem’s notice until it’s too late, while firming up the solidarities that she has (Hazel and Mercury--not Cinder).

to defect, Emerald and Hazel need a degree of narrative interiority, some sense of security with each other (even if it’s just subconscious), and time. time to work things out from their point of view, pull the wool from their eyes. this season’s narrative has given them all that and more.

our Atlesian potential defectors...haven’t been so lucky, and the most recent episode has made that contrast very explicit.

i’m sure i’m not the only one who assumed, when Ironwood first floated the bomb plan, that we’d be getting some kind of Mission Impossible sneaky stealth shit. we’re used to seeing the AceOps do small squad missions, after all, and the timing felt right thematically too, since we left War with Ren literally expositing to all of them that they do, in fact, have feelings. an extended mission to themselves would give them a chance to air out those feelings away from Atlas’ own system of surveillance, figure out what to do together...

but we didn’t get any of that. instead, we got the whoosh laser kapow version of a Sassoon poem, and the AceOps barely talked to each other at all. the only points of view we got were from Marrow, and Winter.

this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to them this season, either--remember the Penny Retrieval mission that wasn’t? there were also hopes that Marrow and/or Winter would turn at that point, but then Salem invaded. Winter and the AceOps have had the potential to defect for a while now, but the narrative has been actively withholding opportunities for them to actualize on any of that potential. it’s been actively withholding opportunities for them to act as a team, period.

it’s possible to handwave this as writerly convenience--everyone can’t defect at the same time, the episodes don’t have room for it--but the ways that defections have been prioritized so that the Atlesians come after also points to a recurring motif with Atlas, which Elm says explicitly in Witch: you can deal with your issues later.

there’s always some kind of delayed promise at Atlas, isn’t there? the Amity project will help. Mantle’s Wall will get fixed (until it wasn’t). when Penny confronts Winter about leaving Mantle to die, Winter says first that they don’t have time, and it seems like they never actually do, except for in this imagined later, when they’ll reckon with every thing that they’ve done.

it doesn’t exist, of course. fascism is only able to remain effective through the engineering of crisis, and Salem might as well be a crisis perpetual motion generator. you can’t conscientiously object if your conscience is constantly stifled by the next emergency.

what the Atlesian scenes in Witch demonstrate is this: Atlas presses down all around them, at all times. even if the AceOps want to stop policing each other and work as a real team, they can’t right now, because they are now officers in a war, because they’re constantly looked to, because they’re part of an infinitely greater machine that demands their service. and right now lasts forever--you will NEVER have time to talk out your discontent...

and even if you steal time and perspective like Marrow does (like Emerald has been doing, thief that she is) with Winter, there is no guarantee of any solidarity. what makes their conversation so simultaneously fascinating and frustrating is that there is clearly some level of rapport, or at least recognition. Marrow goes to Winter because Winter’s in charge, but Marrow also goes to Winter because Winter might hear him out...and she does. Winter does what Winter has consistently done when a person seeks her out and earnestly asks to be heard, and responds compassionately. but at the same time, Winter does what Winter has consistently done when a person seeks her out and earnestly asks to be heard: she turns away. in a conversation that is supposed to be about a shared trust between the two of them, Winter cannot bring herself to trust Marrow. the Atlesian system is built out of these hierarchies within hierarchies, distrusts within distrusts (well i guess Barbara had a point after all), and Winter, abused kid that she is, has played this game all her life. so she defaults to rank and duty--what they have to do now--and the conversation goes nowhere. Marrow leaves it as alone and bitterly resigned as when he’d entered it.

so when is this moral inertia gonna go somewhere? IS it going somewhere? well, i’m still holding out hope that the AceOps will get some time to themselves as part of Bomb the Whale, and i’m certain that even if it doesn’t fall into their lap Marrow will eventually demand it. the fact that they still work well together on the field as partners should mean something. the question is, though: what will it take to bring that later to the present?

and at what point does it become too late?

#rwby #'too late' doesn't necessarily mean 'death' btw #helen writes meta

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m-y-fandoms · 3 years

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COMMISSION: Joker/Akira/Ren x Reader Part 2

Part 1

This is gonna be many more parts... I can already tell

Word Count: 2.2k

SFW, SLOW BURN romance friends to lovers, gender neutral reader, anyone can enjoy it and place themselves as the reader!

- Admin Myah

You spent your entire free period up on that roof, hoping by some miracle that you weren’t crazy, that the group of second-year students that had seemingly vanished before your eyes were in fact pranking you, and upon seeing that you weren’t amused, would get tired of hiding and pop out, finishing the surprise. No such luck, however, and so you left, the second-period bell forcing your hand. Spending the first period of your day - a bit of free time meant for studying, finishing homework, or otherwise enriching yourself educationally - up on the roof and unaccounted for by any teachers was a bit risky already, and you were a decent enough student. There was no way you could just sit there all day, skipping the rest of your classes. Sighing, you resolved to just give up the hunt for your destined main character and by extension the group of potential new friends.

＊

Often after school, you headed to the library, which stayed open along with a select few other areas of Shujin for student use after the last bell rang. Today, however, you felt drawn back to that place, back to that rooftop where you’d seen Akira, Ryuji, and Ann disappear hours earlier. It just wasn’t sitting right with you; you felt a stirring in your soul, like a tiny voice in your head, a shimmering blue butterfly in your stomach. Lucky for you, the rooftop was also open, though you’d never really spent time there. Certain students, including another third-year you admired raised plants up there where the sun could reach them, while others simply came up there for the view or the breeze, some private space to study.

Today, the breeze was indeed blowing, and you sat there writing as it whistled past your ears, polishing up some plot points, scrawling down ideas for your protagonist straight from the imagination, since it seemed you wouldn’t be finding any real-life inspiration anytime soon. It was frustrating, writer’s block, and for the past month or so, it’s all you could do to write a single paragraph. You always found yourself lost in the pages of the novels you loved, and you could identify great writing, appreciate the artistry of another writer, but it was sometimes so hard to put your own thoughts down on the pages of your journal. Why was it so hard? You knew what real romance was. You knew which themes and cliches were overdone and unrealistic. You had a mature and healthy outlook on real relationships and could pick apart the stereotypical female protagonist who was strong and independent until she met the man who would break down her walls or the toxic bad boy who women loved on paper but would cry their eyes out over in real life. You’d read thousands of books and fan-fiction, listened to hundreds of audiobooks, watched tons of romance movies, so why, lately, was it not clicking?! Where was the disconnect between having thoughts and transcribing said thoughts down into your very own masterpiece? Fantasy came so easily to you, sci-fi, non-fiction essays for class, mysteries, research papers, but romance, the genre you loved the most, seemed to purposely elude you.

You were shaken out of your frazzled state when something caught your attention out of the corner of your eye. Shaking your head a bit to try and focus your vision, you looked over your shoulder to see that the black spot on the fringe of your blind spot was in fact actually there. You rubbed your eyes just to be sure, but there it was, a wavering black inky spot hovering in the air. Another appeared, then another, now red in color. You were beginning to feel insane for the second time that day, but rather safe than sorry, you quickly stood, shoving your work and pencils into your bag and shuffling away from the blobs, which were now oscillating and dancing around each other, phasing in and out of existence like a fisheye lens. This was a bit too freaky for your liking, and you were beginning to feel a frightening chill up your spine. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and you elected to put some kind of barrier of safety between yourself and the floating bubbles. Like any rational person, your mind was screaming “unknown situation: possible threat: run!” but again, that little butterfly in the pit of your guts was saying there was something worth staying for. So, running to the door to the roof, you swung it open, a ringing in your ear starting to buzz and chime. You closed it frantically, pressing your nose up against the small glass windows that allowed a limited view of the roof. A small gasp escaped your lips, and you instinctively grabbed onto your bag a bit tighter.

The red and black splotches began to dissipate and fade like some kind of glitch in reality, and three figures appeared like mist, like ghosts before beginning to solidify and slowly become tangible silhouettes. Then, as if some kind of magic ritual was coming to a close, the figures poofed into existence, and your brain processed the scene before you.

“Holy shit…” you whispered. There, clear as day were Sakamoto, Takamaki, and the new kid. They were just standing adjusting their clothes, stretching their arms and legs, situating their personal items. It was just then that you saw a little furry head poke up out of Akira’s school bag. Your harsh, analytical gaze softened a bit upon seeing the small black cat that appeared. Had he been carrying that cat around all day? Surely not, right? How would he keep it quiet and still? “What the…?” The inquisitive glare returned to your features when they began… speaking to the cat. It wasn’t the cute baby talk people often use with their pets, either. It was a full-on, serious conversation, and the cat was meowing back, clearly, in response to their statements.

It was a bit muffled by the thick door, but you could make out bits and pieces.

Metaverse? Palace. Shadows... treasure? Kamoshida? Great, that asshole, but what could he have to do with this? What even was this?

You were questioning everything you knew. You were wondering if the juice you had this morning at breakfast was spiked. There was no winning in this scenario, either you were crazy, or these kids were. You looked downward, contemplating your navel as your mind tried to make sense of the events of today. You glanced up again, trying to eavesdrop a little better, get some more detail. You took a step closer, trying to will the sound of their voices through the door to be just a little louder, just a little clearer, when Sakamoto suddenly pivoted, stretching and cracking his spine with a sigh.

“Gah!” You shouted out. His eyes met yours through the window and widened like a kid caught in the cookie jar. You jumped with a start, taking a cautionary step back and nearly tumbling down the stairs. It was a miracle you caught yourself in time, but your little outburst had definitely caught the attention of the group. Your cover was thoroughly blown. “Oh, no…” You cursed under your breath, spotting both Ann and Akira’s eyes on you now as well.

“Shit! Do you think they saw?” Ryuji’s hands flew to his hair, mussing and working out his frustrations on the dyed strands while simultaneously, Akira was already in motion, rushing toward the door to apprehend the unwelcome listener.

Your heartbeat sped up, and like a gazelle spotted by a lion, a fire was lit under you and you began to sprint, clumsily fumbling down the stairwell and onto the flat platform where the stairs rotated 90 degrees and continued downward. Inhaling sharply, your foot, nervous and supporting jelly-like legs, missed the final step. Your belongings, along with your body, spilled across the square, flat platform, and the door behind you slammed open.

“Hey!” Akira’s yell echoed through the stairwell, and your thoughts bounced off the walls just like his voice. Scrambling, you scooped only the essentials into your hands: your journal, the phone of course, a few homework binders, ditching the easily replaceable items like chewing gum and pencils. Taking to one scraped-up knee and ready to bolt, you felt a hand close upon your bicep and clamp down firmly. “Hey, hey… slow down.” Akira again, now gentler with his tone, spun you around to face him. You stood clutching your things to your chest like a life preserver. “I’m not gonna like… kill you or anything.” A breathy chuckle, and now he was on the platform next to you, scanning you up and down for injuries with his hands in his pockets. “So, uh… so don’t kill yourself by fallin’ down these stairs, huh?” He played off the tense feeling in the air with humor, but the sheer proximity of him, standing there in front of you mere inches away in the cramped space, it was like you could hear your blood pounding in your ears.

What was he thinking right now? Did he think you were some weirdo stalker? I mean, you’d just met him this morning and now you were watching him through a small window like a creep after school… after following him there. Wait, that wasn’t important right now! Was he going to kill you? He didn’t seem like the type of guy to do that, but then again, he didn’t seem like the type to phase in and out of existence either… neither did Ryuji and Ann… what were people with powers like that capable of?

Right now, you were just going to mind your business, and play it safe. It wasn’t worth getting mixed up with people who warp through a “metaverse” and talk to animals just for some good writing material, not if it turned out to be dangerous.

“Well…” you hesitated, “it’s none of my business, what I just saw, and I won’t tell anyone.” You breathed a little easier, tried to regain your composure, to not look too weak.

“So they did see! Awww, shit!” Ryuji’s head popped through the door, interrupting the uncomfortable conversation, and the hot air of the enclosed space was cut through by a gust of wind from the now open rooftop door.

“Now, just hold on, Ryuji,” Akira held out one hand to placate his rather temperamental friend.

“No, no really it’s fine that you talk to your… cat and just… vanish... and I’m sure it’s all fine and multiverse-y and…”

“Metaverse.” Akira corrected you with a small smile, bending down to pick up the rest of your scattered objects.

“Dude!” Ryuji ran a hand down his face in defeat.

“They saw us, no point in being tight-lipped,” he stood, handing them to you.

“Metaverse… right,” you took them, watching every move he made carefully. “Sorry, I’m… a bit more... eloquent in my writing,” you moved to the side, ready to sneak past and descend the rest of the stairs. Anything to get on with your day and escape this unbelievable situation. Akira shuffled, mirroring you and completely blocking the stairwell. There was something clever about him, something sharp and charismatic. He knew exactly what he was doing, what he wanted to achieve, and he knew how to calmly and smoothly execute his plans, unlike Sakamoto, who was far less… organized.

“Writing…?” He was keeping you locked into this conversation, as gently and amiably as he could, and you were not leaving until he was sure he could trust your word.

“Uh… yeah, that’s why I was up…” your eyes met his, quickly recoiling and looking toward the floor again, “...up on the roof. I was just looking for a quiet place to write.”

“What, uh, what kind of stuff do you write?” Ann had now joined Ryuji at the top of the stairs, leaving you feeling completely caged in. Ann threw Akira - who seemed like the leader of the small band of misfits - a desperate glance, a sort of look that seemed to ask: “Where are you going with this? Are we screwed?”

“It’s… it’s kind of private. It’s just… romance stuff. I don’t know, I do all kinds of different stuff, whatever I’m in the mood for.” Akira nodded, more to his friends than you, something you had a feeling you weren’t supposed to pick up on. He stuck his hand out flat, gesturing toward the rooftop behind you. You took the hint, heading a bit anxiously back up the stairs, Ryuji and Ann making way for you.

“You any good?” Akira followed behind you, and now on the rooftop once again, the cool air felt freeing, less constricting, though his question felt a bit insulting, a bit nosey.

“I don’t know… I’ve been told I am…” The three friends took a seat in areas that seemed very familiar to them, like they’d been up here warping in and out of this realm many times before. Now settled into place, Ann spoke up, obviously as apprehensive as you were:

“Well do you… do you think…?” Her high-pitched voice seemed to be hesitant, not yet confident in her next words, not sure if they were all on the same page.

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” Akira smirked as if the three had one mind. He turned to you, trying to make eye contact that you vehemently avoided. “How would you feel about helping us out?”

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hazelenergy · 4 years

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@bed-of-briars @the-road-from-calvary

So here’s some info on how thinblood alchemy works. Kitty, I know you asked me about it so hopefully this clears things up. Antonia, I hope this has use for you, and I may be able to plague you with more history questions soon.

What is thinblood alchemy?

Good fucking question. Professionally, I’d say it’s the combination of high resonances with vampiric vitae and proper catalyzing substances to replicate vampiric disciplines or new powers completely. Among friends, I say it’s walking around my haven, tits out, ingesting random household items to see what happens.

How long has thinblood alchemy been a thing?

I’ve been trying to pinpoint how long thinblood alchemy has been around and I haven’t been able to find many sources giving concrete answers. It's like they want us eradicated so our notes and research were destroyed with us. The easy answer is thinblood alchemy started booming in the late 20th century with the drug scene. Which is true. With widespread access to technology, information, and the invention of online stores- acquiring the necessary gear is easy.

However, thinblood alchemy has been around a lot longer. I have been fortunate enough with my thinblood safehouse project to be allowed to see old notebooks passed down from alchemists- some dating from the 1980s and one delicate diary from 1947. I’m not at all surprised when the alchemists who possess these relics feel tremendous responsibility to preserve them. But there are even rarer and older documents. The alchemy notes from the dark ages work for our formulas- if you can translate their coded notes. So in truth, thinblood alchemy has been around since the creation of clan Tremere- or even earlier.

So how does it work?

Thinblood alchemy is not like other disciplines you may have seen or used. Lots of kindred of the 13th generation or lower are embraced and immediately possess control of their disciplines. Most alchemists wouldn’t describe their craft as something that came naturally to them- it took weeks, months, or even years to experiment and find what works. Additionally, this is not a practice for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. To get the necessary ingredients requires some unsavory acts- it is a fact as true as the beast within us.

Across the board, you need vitae. Doesn’t always have to be yours but it is awfully convenient to use what you’ve got inside. Cool you got blood, and it's yours because it’s in your possession. Now what? You need something to put it in. But it can’t be just anything. Much like a tremere needs very specific tools to do some rituals, thinblood alchemists need an alchemical cauldron or furnace. There are currently three possible ways to procure such a furnace which have developed into the three distillation methods.

The first is my preferred method. The fancy latin some of us use is Athanor Corporis, meaning furnace body. I utilize my own stomach as my alchemical cauldron. After eating or drinking the necessary ingredients, I can will the blood to ignite the furnace. Most of the time it just kinda feels like a heat radiating beneath my ribcage. On occasion it has felt as bad as taking rapid fire bullets to my gut and then pouring vinegar onto the holes...but it's rare. The benefit of this method is it allows me to keep the power or discipline in my system for extended periods of time- sometimes even as long as a month. I also can travel a lot of the ingredients on my person, swallow them, and then hunt down the right resonance. It's a very versatile method that lends itself well to being discreet. The downside is, this is a one power at a time method. If I consume a new formula, it replaces the original power. Which is a bummer and why proper planning is important. Additionally, not every thinblood has the gullet to do this. I can speak from very personal experience that I have eaten and swallowed some terrible tasting things. There are some that even I found myself vomiting back up and then immediately racked with hunger. Those that use this method have given some extreme criticism that they had to train themselves to keep stuff down or chase it with so much vitae that they nearly bond themselves.

The second method I find morally uncomfortable and I refuse to try it. This one’s called calcinato. Instead of using your own body- which you know can’t die from drinking bleach because it's already dead, you use human vessels. You can emotionally manipulate them to match the resonance you need. You can also use drugs. You can also use sex. Then you feed them with the proper ingredients and your own vitae, and their entire body activates the formula. The alchemist can then drink a number of doses from that vessel until their resonance changes or there��s no blood left. There are a few benefits to this method. I have a sharp nose which allows me to smell resonances. I imagine that if I lacked this innate ability, finding and tapping resonances would be far more difficult or left to chance. This ensures you are getting a specific resonance every time. Additionally, the time it takes to drink from that vessel can be faster than I can swallow new ingredients and will the blood to brew. I’d possibly be hungrier, they could be full. Lastly, a thinblood that uses this method is possibly in the enviable position of possessing a herd. If they are, they could easily have multiple brews in many people- making them more prepared than I could be with pockets full of magnets. The downsides to this method are numerous- besides my personal grievances. The first is that this method quickly lends itself to masquerade breaches. Taking a bite from your vessel in the open is not a possibility if you care to play the masquerade game. Secondly, if you are separated from your vessel, what do you do? If the alchemist is someone who coerced or drugged their victims into doing this, what happens when they escape? And if they do possess a herd, what happens when your stock is depleted? Agh, it makes my stomach turn just referring to people like that ew. The second issue is the same as the first method- one power per body.

The third method is more common but harder to distill. This method closely mirrors actual alchemy from the dark ages, where all the ingredients are poured into the athanor and distilled inside. The furnace needs to be able to conduct heat. You can use a kiln, a metalworking furnace, or modern inventions like an electric pressure cooker or as its nickname “cooking” suggests, get a meth cooker. Some asshole dubbed it fixatio once trying to give it a better street name. But since Breaking Bad aired, that name is never going to stick. Once distilled, the resulting formula can be bagged or bottled for future use. This method has the most benefits- but also the most disadvantages. It’s that reason I prefer the first method, but I have dabbled into this one to expand my knowledge. The first benefit is that the alchemy is portable. You don’t have to hunt or lead a vessel around. You can hold a lot of different formulas inside jackets, backpacks, pockets, or my favorite i’ve ever seen- a ren faire waterskin. You can be prepared for lots of encounters, but it still takes time to imbibe the entire dose. The other benefit is its lucrative possibilities. Selling these means money in pockets. And money lets you go buy more weird shit for more alchemy. It’s also excellent for quick favors. The downsides are you have to be cautious of who you’re selling to. A lot of alchemists who use this are also drug dealers and plenty of final deaths have occured from people selling on someone else’s turf. Additionally, each brewed formula is unique to their alchemist. In intelligent hands cough TREMERE (or even an alchemist armed with Tremere secrets) it can be traced back to you… or worse. Travelling around with blood bags, vials, or a waterskin can be tricky too. You have to take care that you don’t burst or break any of these creations. Oh you fell? Better hide that pool of blood spilling out from your sweatshirt pocket. On top of that, most of these aren’t shelf stable. And even if they are kept cold- some still can’t make it more than a few days before it spoils. Like the two methods before, it is a one power at a time rule. Once consumed, you gotta use whatever you drank immediately or it will fade. Lastly, the reason this is more difficult is because it requires more powerful ingredients and a stationary lab. Substitutions don’t tend to work- you gotta have the best you can get. Which gets difficult when high level preparations demand rarer and rarer ingredients.

Each alchemist is going to have their own research methods, however most of us are resorting to trial and error. However, we unanimously agree that you need to brush up on modern chemistry and learn how to hunt for specific resonances. I’ve come to learn that my sharp nose is a trait not just present in thinbloods and by some older kindred it has been dubbed “bloodhound.” I have been fortunate that I don’t need to rely on wit and observation to figure out what resonance my potential victim has. I smell it. However, those without this ability have to learn to pinpoint emotional responses and their corresponding resonance. Put simply, there are five possible resonances: Melancholic, Phlegmatic, Choleric, Sanguine, and Absent. Melancholic resonances tend to be associated with relaxation and calmness but also sadness and fear. Easy targets are stoners, funeral goers, and horror movie newbies. To me, this has an overwhelming sour smell and tart taste. Phlegmatic is content and happiness, but can also be feeling in control. This one can be one of the hardest to pinpoint, since happy feelings blend so effectively with choleric and sanguine resonances. Phlegmatic resonances have a salty smell to them. Choleric is rage and anger, but it also can be passionate and driven. Choleric resonances are typically spicy flavors, and are some of the easiest to recognize. It’s hard to mistake true anger for anything else. Sanguine is also joy and happiness, but also includes how horny someone is. Sanguine resonances are easy to find in flirtatious club goers and generally have a sugar sweet aroma. Lastly, there are those who are completely uncaring and have no resonance. This apathy is extremely difficult to pinpoint- even with my nose as it has the smell of nothing. The only distinguishable thing is that it has an overpowering bitter taste.

Regardless of whether or not a thinblood is an alchemist, they can take advantage of these resonances to grant themselves temporary power. Most kindred need the resonance to be exceptionally potent to gain these benefits. However, thinbloods are hypersensitive to even fleeting resonances. Most of us have pieced the puzzle together that biting into a club goer equals a bit of presence for the next couple hours. But for alchemists, especially those brewing outside the body, hunting and preserving these resonances is essential for alchemy. Most resonances flicker away within fifteen minutes out of a body, so you have to act fast to get it into the formula and start brewing.

Once the proper resonance is obtained and mixed with ingredients in the furnace, it’s pretty obvious of whether or not it worked. If it works, you have the discipline or new power until the brew is used up. If it fails, at best nothing happens. At worst, I’ve had some rough stomach aches if brewed internally. I’ve also had some mild explosions or acid seep through objects. Failure can be devastating. But it’s just a fact of the practice.

So if it's a practice, why can only thinbloods do this?

I don’t know. I don’t think lower gen kindred can learn this. Looking at how disciplines can be gained for older vampires doesn’t seem to match how thinblood alchemy works. It much more closely resembles the paths that Tremere apprentices can choose to learn- but even they couldn’t pick up these tricks. My adoptive sire, a Tremere, tried to mimic our findings and found she could not will the blood like I or my coterie mates could. Perhaps this was part of her clan’s history and curse. However, I’ve not had other clans ever try. To most, the thought of consuming anything but blood churns their undead stomach. Some of you can’t even ingest bagged blood. The ability to eat is a rare trait in older kindred but fairly common for thinbloods. Perhaps this is why it works for us.

Additionally, thinblood alchemy allows us to replicate disciplines but also create new powers entirely. These powers may be unusable to the other clans. And I don’t mean that in the secretive way that Necromancy or Levinbolt is. Your blood is too strong and therefore isn’t affected by the slight changes in resonance and mere drops of vitae in a brew. But to a hungry thinblood, three drops of vitae, some fridge magnets, and choleric blood means we have telekinesis.

I’m young. And if I keep playing my cards right and brewing my alchemy correctly, I’ll still be here in 40 years and hopefully can refute this entire thing with the years of knowledge I possess. But I hope this answers some questions to how alchemy works, and leaves you with plenty more for us to bargain favors for answers.

#vtm #thinblood alchemy #thinblood alchemy is wack #hazel answers questions #long post

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userdokja · 4 years

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Not from around here || Kylo Ren x Reader || Six.

Summary: Reader is from earth, and is also a small writer. What happens if one day she randomly teleports and ends up in space, with people who had laser swords and troops who can’t shoot in the right direction?

Warnings: Curse words, My Writing and Grammar. A bit of Drama but that’s it.

Prologue || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six

Masterlist

It took Kylo two days before to come back, you haven't really talked to any of the knights aside from Vircul.

When Kylo arrived he barely talked to you, he was doing so meetings almost all the time, and if not he would be looking for a thing called a Sith Wayfinder.

Everytime the girl appeared you pretended that she wasn't there at all, of course she would try her best to get you to talk to her but you thought it would be safer that way. You couldn't help but meet her gaze though.

"Kylo said you'd be coming with us on the field." Vircul said, he was joined you on your walk around the ship. "Are you prepared for it?"

"The field? But I'm not yet ready." Of course you can beat up some guys here and there after all those.... Intense training with the knights but on the field? Hell no.

"Kylo says you are."

"Yeah well Kylo is wrong-" You were cut off by Vircul.

"Supreme Leader." Your blood ran cold as you turned to the person who blocked your way.

"I was wrong about what?" You felt like you should be scared, reason number one is because the troopers behind Kylo walked away from him, and two, Vircul just became a statue beside you.

"That I'm ready to go out there, I could barely use the force properly. Yesterday I accidentally threw Vir against the wall." You pointed your thumb to the Knight beside you.

"You're still going out there, you need to learn." Kylo said, you could barely hold back yourself from telling him to take off his mask. "Show me what you can do later in the training room."

He walked past you and Vircul without waiting for your reply.

"I am honestly surprised you're not dead yet." Vircul said as you continued walking. "Teach me your ways."

You laughed at him, "He does get mad at me though, but he doesn't do anything... He just yells, like a little kid." You giggled at the thought.

"You like him don't you?" Vircul asked in a low voice.

"Of course I like him, he's cool and can sometimes be a softie."

"No, as in you have a crush on him." When you didn't answer, Vircul got it. "You really like him don't you? I understand though, He's intimidating and has the looks."

"Right, you caught me." You sighed, "Just don't mention it to the others okay?" He nodded and zipped his lips, throwing the invisible key away.

"We need to go now."

----

You watched as Kylo fought with his Knight, his movement always so graceful even when he fought, he wasn't afraid to use actual weapons even if sometimes the blade grazed on his side.

"What did you like about him?" Vircul asked beside you, startling you as well.

"Don't do that you sneaky asshole. Why are you asking anyways?" He just shrugged but still waited for your answer. "Like you said, He... has the looks."

"And?"

"He can be this totally different person, he gives the best hugs-"

"He hugs?" you nodded at him. "Man, I've never imagined him hugging someone, if he did it would be death hugs." You laughed at him again, although you could really see why he thought that. "Are you ever going to tell him?"

"Hell no, his soft hugs might become death hugs. And you know I don't have a chance with him, you know Supreme Leader and all. Besides, it's just a crush nothing serious." Vircul hummed in reply, he was later on called by Cardo to train with him, and his seat was taken by Kuruk.

"You've been sitting there long enough, come on." He stood up again and you followed him, you really didn't want to train today since your nightmares have been eating up your sleep, giving you a headache when you wake up, Kuruk gave you a double sided blade this time. "You don't need to prove yourself to me, but he's here now."

You stared at him blankly, "So? His presence needs to mean something to me?"

"Yes." Kuruk said and started to attack, you blocked his attacks at first before getting back at him, you didn't really know how to use the weapon you have and you were also afraid that you might hurt yourself. He recovered from your attacks quickly and took his chance to try ans take away the weapon from you.

His blade cut the side of your shoulder, and blood started poring out slowly. You thought he was done, but he didn't stop attacking you. "I'm starting to think you want to kill me."

"I want you to do better." He replied and lowered his blade to graze his blade on your leg. You gritted your teeth, your eyes wandered behind him and saw Kylo's eyes on you with furrowed eyebrows and a slight pout on his lips. You sighed and tried to steady yourself as you went back to blocking his attacks.

"I think that's enough, Kuruk." You heard Vircul behind you. "She's hurt."

"Use the force, Y/n. Call to it!" You tried to do what Kuruk said but you could barely focus on him, our arm and leg was throbbing from pain, and you were sure you were making scratched on yourself with the weapon you were using.

"Shit, can we stop for bit?" You asked.

"You don't stop in a fight."

"We're training, goddamnit." You groaned, putting all your strength to your attacks, your legs finally gave out.

"Kuruk." Kylo said in a warning tone, but he didn't listen. "Kuruk!" Kylo's voice echoed throughout the training room, then he finally stopped. Kylo walked over to you and helped you stand up.

"Oh thank god, my arms feels like they're going to disintegrate." You panted, you met Kylo's gaze and you smiled at him.

"All of you will get some rest, your skills are needed tomorrow." Kylo says, "everyone is dismissed."

The knights nodded and picked their belongings before leaving, you were just doing the same before Kylo called your name.

"Yes?" You turned around to face him.

"Make sure to go to the med bay." He said.

"It's just a small cut, I'll take care of it myself. Thank you." You gave him another smile before leaving.

When you went back to your room you took a shower and tried to relax yourself for a bit, but when you walked out there was a nurse with her kit in your room.

"The Supreme Leader sent me here, to properly help you with your wounds." You nodded at her, "You can put on your clothes first ma'am."

You did what she said before laying down your bed, you watched as she put on the bandages on your shoulder and your side after cleaning them properly.

"Thank you." You said to her, she just bowed her head before leaving.

When she left you decided to give your mother a visit, which meant you can't make any trips anymore until next year.

When you got back there was a message on your datapad, It was Kylo saying that he was outside your quarters. You cursed to yourself as you realized that it was sent ten minutes ago.

You hurried to open the door, and there he was. "Sorry to keep you waiting, I just went to my mom."

"It's fine." You both stood there awkwardly before you offered for him to go inside, "No, no I just wanted to see if you're alright."

"Oh, well I'm still breathing." You joked, although you didn't expect him to laugh. "Is there anything else..?"

"Uhm.. I- I had a vision, when i touched your hand. back at the training room." He swallowed a lump on his throat as if he was afraid to tell you about it. "You were in pain, and I was there. I couldn't do anything about it."

"Are you scared that's going to happen?" His grumpy face quickly returned.

"I'm not scared, I simply wanted to inform you about it." You gave him a smirk.

"Right, You waited here for ten minutes just to tell me that?" You teased. "Or did you want to give me a goodnight kiss?"

Your own words surprised you, you didn't know where all the confidence came from, it was his turn to grin at you now, he crouched down a little bit and moved closer to your face until you could feel his breath against your skin.

"goodnight, Y/n." You stared at his eyes for a bit before clearing your throat and backing away.

"goodnight."

----

The next day, you were given an armor which was uncomfortable but it felt safe anyways. You were given a simple sword and a blaster which was on your belt, you boarded the ship everyone was on and sat beside the knights.

When you landed, you realized that you would be on an actual planet for a while, before you got out of the ship Kylo instructed that you stay with him, you followed everything he said without complaining.

You were inside this dark cave, you had a bad feeling about the whole thing but you were probably just nervous about the whole thing. you gripped on the handle of your blade tightly as Kylo lead the way.

"Stop." Kylo whispered. "There's something wrong here."

"What do you mean 'there's something wrong here'?" You whispered back, your blood ran cold as a blaster fired at your direction, barely missing the side of your face.

"Take cover." Kylo dragged you with him behind a wall, he pulled out his lightsaber and turned it on, you could barely see anything else but its red glow. "Just stay behind me."

You nodded, and pulled out your blaster instead of your sword, thankfully, Vircul taught you how to use it inside the ship. Kylo walked forward and you followed him, he deflected the shots with his lightsaber and used the force to throw the others out of the way. While you shot at whoever you could see.

"It's an ambush." You told him. "We need to warn the others."

"We need to get out of here first." Kylo groaned out in pain as a blast hit his shoulder, You both went back to your cover as they continued shooting, You chewed the inside of your cheek, trying to think of something. You thought about travelling back to earth, but you've already used your two remaining trips, you looked at Kylo beside you and realized that there was nothing else you could do.

"Kylo." You raised your voice for him to hear.

"What?" He replied.

"Do you trust me?" He was about to ask what for, until he noticed the seriousness in your eyes.

"Of course." You sighed in relief and took his hand in your trembling ones, you pulled him close to you and closed your eyes, and you were gone in a second.

---

A/n: did I do that cliffhanger right? Please let me know what you think, Feedbacks are always appreciated!

Permanent Tags: @aintnouseofpretending @just4muggles @heartbeats-wildly @lookinsidemyhead @katiegoddessofmischief

Star Wars Tags: @melcutie

Series Tags: @i-just-wanna-run-hell @treestarrrrrrrr @rintheemolion @pan-lokistan @petalduck @mintchip17 @drawlfoy @channna

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #Ben Solo #ben solo x reader #star wars #star wars x reader #adam driver x reader #x reader

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vgckwb · 4 years

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P5R: Rebel Girl (A FeMC Story/P5R Rework) Chapter 20: A Place to Belong

After school the next day, Ren received a message from Sumire.

Sumire: Hey senpai.

Sumire: Um, you don’t have to be with me all the time.

Sumire: It’s not that I don’t want you to!

Sumire: But I sometimes want to figure some things out on my own.

Ren: I understand.

Sumire: Thank you senpai.

Ren left class and was about to head out when Ryuji stopped her. “Hey, uh, could you help me?”

“Of course” she said. “What’s up?”

“Well, uh…” Ryuji said, slightly embarrassed. “Could...could you explain to my teacher how I’m good at math?”

Ren was confused and then tickled pink. “Of course. Let’s go.” The two went to the faculty office. They met up with the math teacher, Ms. Usami.

“Hey Ms. Usami” Ryuji said.

“So, is this the person that says you’re good at math?” she asked. Ryuji nodded. “I see.” She turned to Ren. “Young ma’am, I don’t know why you think that, but I can assure you you’re wrong.”

“No offence, but I know I’m correct,” Ren said. She did have to treat lightly. She was already having troubles with one teacher, and she felt like that one is the only one she could solve via Persona.

“Hm” Ms. Usami scoffed. “We have a saying in math: Prove it.”

Ren nodded. She turned to Ryuji. “Ryuji, what is 7 x 9 + 3?”

“Uhhhhhhhhh” Ryuji said.

“See?” Ms. Usami said, feeling vindicated.

“Hold on,” Ren said. “Alright, forget that question. Now, I work out once a day for nine weeks, and then three days after these nine weeks. How many days did I work out?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Ryuji said. “66.”

“What?” Ms. Usami said in shock. “How?”

“Ryuji needs to be able to understand the problems,” Ren explained. “Numbers alone are a bit much for him.”

“But how does he not understand numbers?” Ms. Usami asked.

“That I don’t know the answer to” Ren said. “It’s just who he is.”

Ms. Usami looked at the two of them sterly. “Very well. I shall take this into consideration.” Ren nodded and the two of them left.

“Thanks man… uh, woman…” Ryuji said.

Ren giggled. “It’s fine.”

“So, you wanna train today?” Ryuji asked. “Or are you watching over Sumire-chan again?”

“I’m fine to train,” Ren said. “Sumire messaged me earlier saying that I didn’t need to hover around her.”

“Hmmmm. Well, alright” Ryuji said. “Let’s go get changed and meet in the usual place.” Ren nodded and they headed out. Once they were dressed for the occasion, they made their way to Ryuji’s training spot, only to see that a few other people were there already. “WHAT?!” Ryuji yelled.

One of the students turned to Ryuji. “Oh, it’s you.”

“What are you doing here?” Ryuji asked.

“What does it look like?” the other student said. “We’re training here. In case you forgot, we can’t use the gym anymore.” Ryuji backed down, but was still upset.

“Um, what’s going on?” Ren asked.

“Who’s this?” the student asked. “Is she your girlfriend?”

“What?! No!” Ryuji answered. “She’s just a friend.”

“A friend huh?” the other guy said. “Well, would she still be friends with you if I told her you’re the reason we have to practice out here?”

“Wait, are you former members of the track team?” Ren asked. The others there were surprised.

“She knows. That’s not gonna work” Ryuji said.

“Huh” said the other student. “You managed to find someone who wants to hang out with you. Honestly, good for you.”

“What do you want?” Ryuji asked.

“You know what I want,” the other student said. “And we can’t have it because you punched Kamoshida in the face!”

“Look, I’m sorry,” Ryuji said.

“Why couldn’t you just grin and bear it like everyone else?! Why did you have to go flying off the handle?!” the student asked.

“Cause that’s bullshit!” Ryuji said.

“Maybe, but you didn’t have to drag us down into it!” the student said. “Look, if we ever want to bring the track team back, we have to stay in top form. Meanwhile, I’m not sure why you’re even bothering to train at all.”

“Well, uhhhh” Ryuji could not think of a good lie, but he had enough common sense not to blurt out that he was running with a band of thieves.

Ren jumped in. “I asked him to,” she said. Everyone was confused.

“Uh, yeah” Ryuji said. “She’s a transfer student.”

The former track team was confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, uhhhh” Ryuji was stuck again.

“I was on the basketball team at my old school,” Ren said. “However, when I came here, they weren’t accepting new members. I wanted to keep my form up for when I return home, and Ryuji said he’d help me with that.”

The track members looked at them. “Very well. Still, can’t you find your own place to train and stop getting in our way?”

“He’s not-” Ren said, defending Ryuji.

“Fine,” Ryuji said. “Let’s go.” Ryuji turned around. Ren was surprised, but began to follow Ryuji.

“Hold on!” the track team member said. “Before you go, just be careful around him. He might seem nice enough, but one wrong move, and he’ll drag you down to his level.”

Ren smiled. “I think I can handle myself.” She ran and caught up with Ryuji. “So, why are we just giving up?”

Ryuji sighed. “I did kind of screw them over by punching Kamoshida. He dissolved the track team, and now they have nowhere else to go. I thought I should just let them have it. It’s the least I could do after ruining everything for them.”

“Well, that’s awfully nice of you,” Ren said. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Huh? Sure, I guess” Ryuji said. “Let’s go get changed first.” They got changed and met up. “Wanna go to that ramen place again?”

“I don’t have a preference,” Ren said.

“Well then, let’s go!” Ryuji said. They headed back to the ramen place. “AH! That hits the spot.” Ryuji turned to Ren. “So, uh, before we talk about my stuff, were you really in basketball?”

Ren looked at him, surprised. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I was one of the best players.”

“Man, that has to suck” Ryuji said. “I bet that jerkoff that framed you didn’t care about that.”

“Oh, I was off the team before that,” Ren explained.

“Really?” Ryuji said.

Ren nodded. “They kicked me off.”

Ryuji looked at Ren puzzled. “Why?”

“Personal reasons” Ren explained. “They just didn’t like me after a certain point.”

Ryuji looked disconcerted. “How do you keep up your attitude when faced with so many injustices?”

“Well, I’ll admit it’s hard,” Ren said, “but I can’t not be myself. Otherwise I’d be living a lie, and the person I’d hate the most would be myself.”

Ryuji smiled. “I getcha!” He grew sad. “But you know you it is hard being yourself when ‘yourself’ isolates everyone else around you.”

Ren looked at Ryuji. “Are you talking to me or you at this point?”

Ryuji clumsily grinned. “Man, you can see through me like a cellphone.”

Ren was confused. “Do you mean cellophane?”

“Yeah… th-that thing” Ryuji said. He sighed. “I thought I had a place to belong on track. But I still acted selfishly. As much as I’ve learned, I don’t know if I can forgive myself until the team does. As much as I hate my piece of shit father, I think I might have inherited his knack for acting on impulse.”

Ren looked at Ryuji, concerned. “Well, I doubt you’re exactly like your father. Here you are moping about throwing one punch at a guy who deserved it. Meanwhile, as I understand it, your father still hasn’t come back to apologize after repeatedly beating your mother, who, as I also understand it, is the salt of the Earth.”

Ryuji smiled. “I know it’s not the approach for everyone, but I do appreciate your bluntness. Hm. Still, I did kinda screw over everyone else because I didn’t want people to know about my home life. I wasn’t honest. And as a team, you need to be able to trust each other.”

Ren seemed hesitant. “Do you think I could trust you with anything?”

Ryuji looked at Ren puzzled. “Are you implying you have another secret?”

“Maybe” Ren said, mischievously.

“Well, I doubt it’s as big as ‘I got arrested’” Ryuji rationalized. “But whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there for you.”

Ren nodded. “Thanks.”

Ryuji smiled. He then frowned. “Say, were you uncomfortable when I was making a pass at you?” Ren raised her eyebrow. “Because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable!” Ryuji added.

Ren giggled. “You’re fine.”

Ryuji sighed. “That’s a relief…”

Ren looked at Ryuji. “It seems like there’s a little more on your mind.”

“I was talking with Yoshizawa yesterday. I also asked her out” Ryuji explained. Ren was shaken. “She said she had someone she liked already.”

“Oh…” Ren said, slightly disappointed.

Ryuji continued. “She asked me why though, and I explained that everything in my life is so messed up that dating someone might bring something normal to my existence. And then I got to thinking: before joining track, and meeting my first coach, I had no positive, real, male role models in my life. I knew I didn’t want to be like my dad, but the only other guys I could aspire to be like were on TV.

But then when I first joined the track team, I met the coach. He worked us hard, but it was because he knew we could do it. And he didn’t work us as hard as Kamoshida did. He was also really kind too.”

Ryuji slammed his fist on the table. “But then Kamoshida came in and replaced him! I don’t know how a man should act because any man I’ve seen, aside from the original coach, was selfish, resentful, and all around just a bad person. I don’t know what to do.”

Ren saw Ryuji’s concern. “Well, who says you need a man to look up to?” Ryuji looked at her. “You seem to be doing alright now. You don’t want to be your father or Kamoshida. And you’re recognizing your own faults.”

Ryuji smiled. “Maybe you’re right.” He sighed. “I just have trouble sorting my thoughts. It’s a good thing you’re here though. You’re fairly easy to talk to, and it helps me filter it all.”

Ren smiled. “What are friends for?”

Ryuji smirked. “You know, you and my mom are both women, and yet you’re two of the strongest and kindest people I know. Maybe taking a page out of the other side’s playbook isn’t a bad idea.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ren said. “Take it and make it your own!”

“Yeah!” Ryuji said. “I’m going to find some way to make it up to the track team. Oh, but not right away. I’m going to wait for things to simmer down for a bit.”

“That’s fine. Go at your own pace” Ren said.

“My own pace, huh” Ryuji said. “I know I’ve never really been afraid to be myself before, but talking with you makes me feel more confident in my individuality.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Ren said. “The same goes for me too.”

“No problem,” Ryuji said.

Chariot-Ryuji Sakamoto: Rank 3

They finished their ramen and then left.

The next day after school, Ren got a call. “Hello, it’s Takemi” said the voice on the other end. “I know you have other obligations as a student, but I would appreciate some help with the medicine.”

“Of course, Dr. Takemi” Ren said. “I’ll be right there.” She hung up.

“Do you want me there?” Morgana said.

“Nah, I think I’ll be fine,” Ren said. “Besides, it could take a while.”

“Very well,” Morgana said. “I’m going to go explore the area.” Ren nodded.

She arrived at Takemi medical clinic. “Ah, you’re here. Welcome.”

“Thank you,” Ren said.

“Now, before we begin, I need you to fill out this patient history chart as accurately as possible,” Takemi said, handing her a form. “When researching a drug’s effects, the slightest details can make a world of difference.” Ren began filling the form out. “By the way, I do mean accurate. I don’t think you’d be the type to, but if you were using illicit substances, I would need to know. I wouldn’t rat you out either.”

Ren smiled. “Thanks... I guess? But I don’t.”

“Good,” Takemi said. “I just want to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible with me.”

“I don’t think you need to worry,” Ren said.

“You’d be surprised,” Takemi said. Ren finished and handed her the form. “Hm. Nothing really stands out.” She smiled. “A test subject like you is invaluable to the world of medicine. Now, let’s get started.”

She grabbed a small plastic cup and handed it to Ren. “This is a prototype of the medicine I’m working on.” Ren looked at it. “Don’t worry. It’s developed enough where it only attacks the infected cells. It just needs some fine tuning here and there. It’s completely safe.”

Ren looked at the medicine. Well, if she says it’s safe. She swallowed the medicine. Ren’s vision started to blur. Soon, she found herself passing out.

A few hours later, she woke up. “Ah, you’re awake,” Takemi said. “How do you feel?”

Ren tried to get her bearings straight. “A little discombobulated, I guess. But also a little refreshed.”

“Hm, seems you might have needed a nap like that” Takemi said, writing what Ren said down. “I kid, of course.” A police officer walks in. Takemi sighed. “What now? I told you, you’re going to need a warrant before you can investigate me.”

“Hm” sneered the officer. “It just so happens we’ve received a report of wrongdoing. I’m going to need to see medical records, and transactions! Bet you couldn’t hide anything, could you?”

Takemi was disinterested with this officer's attitude. “Very well,” Takemi said. She pulled up the information. “Here you go.”

“Huh?” the officer said, looking it over.

“This kid is my only patient today,” Takemi said. “If you needed to see transactions, might it have been for improper billing?”

“I don’t understand,” The cop said.

“My guess is, you’ve been sent on a wild goose chase” Takemi responded.

The cop looked at Ren. “Why ARE you here? You seem fine enough. Are you doing something illegal?”

Ren felt a little nervous, but thought she could use that to her advantage. “Um, well, you see, I recently moved here. I’m worrying about all sorts of things. School. Friends. The future. Dr. Takemi here is doing a check up on me, and giving me medicine to help me relax.”

“She’s right. Teens have it so hard these days” Takemi explained.

“Hm Very well” the officer said. “It appears you’re clear for now, but I know you’re The Plague. You’re bound to mess up sooner or later.” The cop walks out.

Takemi sighed. “Why does this keep happening?”

“The Plague?” Ren asked.

Takemi looked at Ren. “That’s a story for another time. For now, I need to process these results.” Takemi went back to her notes. Ren started to leave. “By the way,” Takemi said, interrupting Ren leaving, “if you’re ever worried about anything, you can come to my office if I’m in.” Ren looked at her puzzled. “I don’t need to know why, but I did notice you tense up when the officer came in. If you’re ever worried about the police going after you, I’ll provide sanctuary for you.”

Ren smiled. “Thanks doc. And I hope my results will help you.”

“They most assuredly will. But thank you” Takemi said.

Death-Tae Takemi: Rank 2

Ren left, feeling more relaxed than she had felt in a while. She picked up Morgana and headed back to Leblanc.

#persona fanfiction #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #p5r #p5 femc #p5r rework #p5 rework #p5 #FeMC #female ren #ren amamiya #Sumire #Ryuji Sakamoto #morgana #TAE TAKEMI

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jjoelswatch · 4 years

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I HAVE SEEN THE WAR OF THE STARS

This was a very different Star Wars movie in the best ways possible. Whether you loved it or hated it, this movie would not have been possible without SW:TLJ, full stop. Personally, I liked this movie a lot. SW:ROTS is my favorite just because it’s a) the movie that got me to like Star Wars and b) Anakin, so nothing really compares to that for me but. I think I can largely attribute what I did like about this movie to how much it reminded me of story arcs in Clone Wars or Rebels (namely Mortis, Malachor, and the World Between Worlds), with the little caveats/side quests and side characters and the focus on arcane Force powers.

What I liked:

Kylo Ren and Rey being collective badasses on two opposite spectrums of the Force. You really get the sense that as things continue to become unbalanced, the more and more their powers grow. This movie is truly a love letter to fans of both Rey and Kylo Ren, because they both have largely satisfying developments (in their powers and their character growth). I’ve never hated Kylo Ren like a lot of people do. I like his character, I think he’s - at least - cool. This movie really showcased how formidable he was right off the bat-- from Title Scroll to opening scene. And if this movie showed how powerful he was, it REALLY doubled down on how strong Rey is. More on this throughout this ramble post.

Holy Sith lore, Batman.

Rey’s training sequence was everything Luke’s training sequence in SW:TESB should have been (limited ofc by film techniques of its time); I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know a lot of people are complaining about it, since she adamantly chose not to walk the path of a Jedi, but I liked that Leia got to be her Jedi Master.

Even though it was in the trailer, Rey flipping over the Kylo’s ship and slicing the wing off with her lightsaber was rad af.

Also followed by another rad af moment of her Force pulling the ship, like damn girl.

My face when Rey used Sith lightning was one of genuine shock like holy shit. This is also when I knew the “Force bloodline” twist ahead of time. It allowed me to become (mostly) okay with it. But damn, even Kylo Ren is like “...fuck”.

AUDIBLE SIGH OF RELIEF THAT CHEWIE DIDN’T DIE. Actual personification of that one bear vine.

Former spice-runner Poe is...sexy. What a concept.

Kijimi planet sequence was really cool. It also hammered home the entire space nazi motif in a very in-your-face way, which I appreciated because I feel like people try to rationalize the Empire and First Order as not being that, when that’s literally what they are. It also introduced Zorii Bliss, who I really enjoyed.

I really liked the style of the Force bond/Force Dyad moments in this movie. We got a good handful of them in TLJ and they were cool (and confirmed to not just be Snoke causing them with that movie’s end scene), but these were better. Just the way the scenes transition and the tangible objects being transferred between them.

Her parentage reveal, the mirror of the “join me” scene from TLJ [chef’s kiss] *

General Hux being the spy really reminded me of Alexsandr Kallus being Fulcrum in SW:Rebels, except Kallus was hotter and had less petty reasons for betraying the Empire.

The space horse...tusk...creatures. I love them.

Rey and Kylo Ren’s fight on the Death Star wreckage. Finally, at long last, we get to see some prequels level Jedi flips and jumps. FINALLY!

Leia’s last sacrifice c’:

Rey striking down Kylo Ren, healing him, telling him that she had wanted to take his hand when he offered, but she’d wanted to take Ben’s hand. So perfect.

Ben and Han’s mirrored scene from the bridge scene in TFA with Kylo and Han, line for line, with the right choice made this time. Just the combined effort of his father’s memory and his mother’s sacrifice having him throw his lightsaber into the ocean, killing Kylo Ren and becoming Ben Solo once more. So emotionally satisfying. **

Also: “Dad...” “I know.” very nice callback to TESB.

Force Ghost!Luke c’: catching that lightsaber as Rey goes to throw it into the flames; nice resolution to Luke’s arc from TLJ.

LUKE AND LEIA TRAINING SCENE FLASHBACK!!

Kylo Ren’s redemption/turn to the light was something that I thought I would hate, but I actually thought it was the one consistent character arc in the sequel films. I actually enjoyed it a lot, like everything about him turning to the light was handled well and you can track its path through the entire sequel trilogy. Don’t @ me.

Ben doing the classic Han Solo No Look Shot-- with Lando’s blaster (how did he get that?)

Ben absolutely butchering the Knights of Ren wearing the space equivalent of a sweater and jeans. Just the epitome of chaotic Skywalker/Solo energy. Iconic.

Enjoyed Ben’s little shrug of “finally” when Rey used their Force bond to transfer him one of the lightsabers to use. Was sitting there watching him fight like, get this man a lightsaber.

Also, regarding that moment, just the pause within their Force bond, actually, truly seeing each other.

All the voices of the Jedi. Chills. I heard Luke, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Windu, Kanan, Anakin. Ahsoka. ***

Rey’s sacrifice. Ben’s sacrifice. For a moment, I thought they were going to kill both of them and Palpatine (which I would have hated and appreciated at once; zero it out, bring balance to the Force via a flatline), or leave Rey dead and Ben alive to be haunted by his own deeds and demons. It was a surprise that Ben could use Force healing in the way Rey displayed earlier in the film, but a good one. Thanos vc: a soul for a soul.

“Ben” c’: such a bittersweet moment of acknowledgement and redemption tbh. ****

Rey burying Luke (Anakin’s) and Leia’s sabers on Tatooine c’: *****

Rey’s yellow lightsaber made from her staff. I wonder if it’s double-bladed (I bet it is).

I had a feeling one way or another that by the end of the movie Rey would be taking the Skywalker name for herself. I’m sure this made a lot of people angry. I’m not one of them.

What I didn’t like:

Not much tbh!

The Reylo kiss I guess, since it felt shoehorned in since they were both enemies 12 hours prior (if that). It would have felt more natural if it had just been a brief embrace or (as a friend suggested) a forehead touch. I’m totally okay with Rey and Ben having this strong connection through the Force, but no matter where you stand on the idea of those characters being romantically involved, you have to admit that they just weren’t there yet to have that kiss. ******

Conflicted that the Skywalker bloodline is gone. Like, trust me, I know the point - or one of the major ones - of this film is that blood doesn’t dictate choices/blood isn’t important, but like...I really love the Skywalkers, okay?

Palpatine being alive in this pretty much invalidates Anakin’s journey in the first six episodes, which sucks because in this house we love and appreciate Anakin Skywalker. You get a sense that Palpatine’s return was definitely never the end goal for this trilogy. It doesn’t feel planned because it’s never explained how he’s back, how he survived. We’re left to assume that it’s Sith power sustaining him. We never find out how Palpatine (who’s basically a zombie, I mean, look at him) managed to create a massive fleet of Star Destroyers capable of destroying planets. That’s just how it is, deal with it.

Asterisks/Questions Unanswered/Misc.:

* Still can’t believe Rey Palpatine fan theories DID THAT. Press F to pay respects to my Rey Kenobi theories (which would have made more sense with a Force bond but WHATEVER).

** This is where I would have wanted Anakin’s Force Ghost moment to be, especially since Kylo Ren idolized the ideal of Vader for so long, I felt it would have been a nice touch to have Anakin step in here, while across the galaxy Rey is being reached out to by Luke. Ultimately though, I think Han worked best.

*** Look, I know Ahsoka’s voice was in the past Jedi/Force Ghost moment, but like...my girl ain’t dead. Togruta live for over 200+ years, plus she was resurrected with the power of The Daughter. She just Force Skyped in to give Rey an inspirational line. Also Ahsoka is...not a Jedi, so ? interesting.

On that note, the above scene also reminds me 100% of Ezra’s moment in The World Between Worlds.

**** Really wish redemption didn’t always have to mean death, but I also understand that just like in ROTJ with Vader, there was a slim-to-none chance of a future for Ben after doing everything he’d done. But I also think death is...an easy out, when you don’t want to think about how a character can continue to atone for their deeds. I would have liked to see Ben live.

***** As for burying Luke and Leia’s sabers in the sands of Tatooine, Luke never associated himself with Anakin’s saber, so she buried Anakin’s saber in a place he hated and associated with so much pain and loss.

****** Reylo has never really been a ship I sailed, though I’ve never expressly hated it (there are certainly far more uncomfortable scenes with Anakin and Padma in AOTC than there have been between Rey and Kylo Ren in the sequel films), but if one of them is going to die, don’t have them kiss. If you’re going to have them kiss, let them live.

Finn never really did get to tell Rey what he wanted to tell her, huh? I joke. I think it’s obvious by the final act of the movie that he wanted to tell her that he could feel the Force, that he’s Force sensitive. This was hinted at in TFA during several beats (especially when he fights Kylo Ren-- anyone can use a lightsaber, but it’s kinda curious that he could hold his own for a bit).

This movie radiates a bi energy in ways I can’t describe. All the stuff with Poe being real concerned about what Finn wanted to tell Rey when he thought they were going to die? Poe and Zorii? Finn and Jannah? Poe and Rey? Really can’t believe they cut away before Finn and Poe kissed in the end celebration scene.

Ben Solo > Kylo Ren

#sw:tros #sw:tros spoilers #tros spoilers #star wars spoilers #episode ix spoilers #episode 9 spoilers #unless you're tagging it something weird that should about cover it for spoilers

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yurireview · 5 years

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the stupid arrogance of a small part of the Bumbleby fandom

hello dear followers of RWBY Do you remember the small incident of BB and WR? Many said "the anti are trying to make those 2 fandom fight"

But the reality is that there is a small part of the Bumbleby fandom that feels superior and believes that it can say any stupidity and since they are now "canon" they like to give their "arguments" and when you contradict them, they become the victims ... but I just saw a post and I think it's a great opportunity to address this issue that has been bothering me for 1 month

First, who the hell is she to say something like that?

It is rare that these fans keep saying that the Whiterose fandom wants to be compared to the Bumbleby and the "Try to blame us" so that we "force" them to match the WR.

I'm going to clarify something and I think I speak for all the fandom WR (We do not give a shit to be compared with the Bumbleby) in fact I'm very happy that we are separated because giving the same development to everything is stupid... for God's sake personalities of Ruby and Weiss that would be impossible they have their own little drama and it works well.

Do you really think they are one of the best lesbian romances of animation? by God that's so arrogant ... obviously I do not deny that the Bumbleby has some development is good, but...Do not you know that there are more than 50-60 lesbian couples or ship yuri that are better built, more time on screen and explicit in the animes, manga or Manhwas?

In fact I just saw the chapter 1 of an anime and really there was more lesbian subtext than in 3 volumes of pure "Bumbleby" (this is not fanservice ... if you have heard of Carole and Tuesday is a very serious project)

Vol 1 Bumbleby vs WR

It is rare that I speak of the "great development" because again if we go back to Vol 1, was there Bumbleby?

The reality is that there was nothing and his fandom can not deny this reality, in fact until Weiss had more development with Blake and that is sad

They have the scene of chapter 3 ... where Yang makes Ruby talk to Blake (a scene of 1 minute that eventually turned into a friendly fight between sisters) it is rare that I read about how it was "undoubted" that Yang had in love with Blake ... but let's be honest (that's nothing from there)

chapter 6-7-8

The reason why I put these 3 chapters is because they literally had scenes of 30 seconds in each chapter ... I think the most relevant thing is that Blake chose Yang as his partner. But again this is "Indication of romance"? I mean, do you really blame a part of the fandom for "doubting" of that ship?

If we compare it with the Whiterose in the First Volume the comparison is ridiculous.

as I mentioned earlier in a review where some of these Bumbleby shipper complained that I pointed out something true (that the Bumbleby had almost no screen time in the first 3 volumes)

Again you can not compare (3 minutes, where Sun spent more time with Blake in only 3 chapters) with 22 minutes of Whiterose and 18 minutes of developing the initial Arkos friendship

All the development that the Whiterose received in the first volume (in addition to screen time ... I repeat it to Bumbleby worshipers) can not be compared.

In fact, even the meeting of Ruby and Weiss took a more special approach than that of Bumbleby, Ruby's expression is so evident in that detail

the conclusion of her initial problems as teammates and Ruby desire to want Weiss to accept her was a genius, again the BB did not have anything

even the development given to Ruby as a leader thanks to Weiss in his conflict over the issue of "Leader" was again more focused than the Bumbleby ... so again say that the BB was the "Best" since the beginning is ridiculous, because there really was no argument to support the ship but there is fun.

cof cof The Whiterose was the most popular ship of that time cof cof

they had their intimate moment in the Vol 2x6 before the Dance ... even though it is remarkable, they really left it very "Random" because again Who would have said something if all the night of dancing had been between Yang and Blake)

Before they say anything it is obvious that it was an important moment for Yang character

It's strange to talk about the Dance because really Blake and Yang only got 20 seconds of "Dance" and really there was nothing at all ... I mean she literally stayed with the end with Sun (I mean if they really wanted to focus the Bumbleby like them they mention ... why all that stupidity with Sun was necessary)

It's so foolish to mention that Ruby did not do anything with Weiss at the dance for 3 reasons:

The first one (She did not want to go, she did not know how to dance, she felt uncomfortable in the dress ... it literally was in the worst place) but if we go back to the scene of chapter 4 of that Volume (Ruby did not let Neptune and Weiss connect, because she wanted to go with Weiss ... besides that there if she felt comfortable) I mean it's character consistency

which Yang did not give a shit

The second: Unlike many characters, the dance did not have anything important for the character of Weiss and Ruby ... with Weiss it was only for Jaune to have character development so that he would approach Pyrrha ... with Ruby apart from what she said before, she had to follow Cinder and be out of the party

Did you see the foolishness of that anti WR argument?

It's strange how Weiss narrative instead of more "Straight" does not have any development with the boys, unlike Blake

even here they destroyed the ship of Weiss and Neptune (never to use it again) because they really only did it to develop Jaune as a character

Whiterose in this volume also received more screen time ... which is funny according to the arguments presented by these Bumbleby fans.

Again the Bumbleby was only focused on chapter 8 of Vol 3 (before that he did not get any screen time in that volume and even the Blakesun received a very good blush)

I do not dismiss the Bumbleby moments because of its importance ... but really there is very little time on the screen and that's why I say that the Bumbleby really started to develop from here but that's not why it's the "best romance" or the "Only path".

In fact there was still nothing romantic in the scene and do not come with the "destroy everything you love" because again all the fandom knows that the BB did not have anything romantic until then and that phrase works for everything.

that it has become romantic is one thing, but it could have been used in any context and it works (in fact I'm glad they took that route)

Chapter 12 Vol 3

It is rare that they also mention that "the Whiterose did not receive focus" in the fall of Beacon ... when the reality is that all the main dynamics were focused

Obviously the Arkos received the best ... because there was not going to be another time to do it (now or never) ... but the others received the same time (obviously from the moment where Adam cut Yang arm, you could say that just started the Bumbleby ... but before that they did not have material to be a ship destined to the "canon" because nobody really knew what they were going to do and their "development" is not the best because there is no time on the screen

The difference between the Blakesun and the Whiterose

It's so silly to say that they did not focus on the separation of Ruby and Weiss unlike the Bumbleby ... but it's odd that she did not mention that in Vol 4 (in Yang entire argumentative line she did not mention Blake, there was only one small scene to the interpretation where she sees the books and if you know deduce you can see that she misses Blake ... that's all)

What I find hypocritical here is that they really are the same scene (both miss someone) and again the scene is easy to interpret ... but here they only see "Bumbleby"

The Blakesun became a friendship for the simple fact that Blake had linked more to Yang because of what happened with Adam ... that's all that turned his old dynamic into a new ... it's called development)

Not to mention that the show was betting on the Bumbleby

The scene where really focus the fact that Yang misses Blake and that she "needs" is in the 5x8 ... where he spent the entire half of the chapter ... it served much to awaken the fandom.

Weiss narrative in that volume was divided between Yang and Ruby but leaning to Yang in the first half of that volume because she had to be the bridge so that Yang could understand and forgive Blake the moment she saw her (in addition to that to develop their friendship, because Yang-Weiss had very few interactions, that is evident before Vol 5) ...the funny thing is that again they do not focus on them in Vol 6 because it was not necessary anymore) so that argument is very bad

I must admit that I get quite angry that they say "there is no change in Ruby to see Weiss almost die"

which is a lie, in fact a rather detailed approach was given to Ruby concern for Weiss (in addition to the detail that she pulled Jaune's hands away from our beloved Weiss)

Speaking of Jaune (it is not ironic that the show and the Staff did not want to focus some of Weiss-Jaune dynamics that almost does not exist and did not take advantage of the best opportunity for that)

The end of Vol 5 is a clear example where Weiss did not dedicate 1 minute of his time to Jaune (or even to thank him)

I love the hypocrisy of that little part of the Bumbleby fandom when they say "hey look for a moment Bumbleby" but when they see another moment literally the same ... they like to deny it

This scene between Weiss and Ruby was one of the sweetest, in fact Weiss never dedicated this look to anyone else ... the experience of "almost dying" brought her closer to Ruby and only a stupid could not see it.

The Bumbleby received his moment as well ... but then they went back to the group dynamics, I mean, do they really bother with that?

Whiterose in the Vol 6

Returning to his argument that "there was no change" this is false from the start.

I love that the opening 6 showed Ren and Nora with Ruby and Weiss as the most “affectionate and supportive” dynamics

What is the only thing these Bumbleby fans saw? ... yes, this was

It's pretty hypocritical like those Bumbleby fans who claim that Ruby already "defined" her relationship with Weiss by calling her her "Best friend" in Vol 3 but they really ignore all the development of her emotions towards her in the next volumes and of course (Blake also saw Yang as a friend at the beginning ... she did not fall in love with her from the beginning, in fact she liked Sun)

With Weiss the same applies ... in fact they ignore all of Weiss development with Ruby and his contrast with other characters, which other characters called his "family" relationships .. but let's move on to his next argument

They mention that "Yang and Blake tend to make it more personal"

This is partly true ... but it is evident because Yang and Blake had a traumatic event that involved both, not because their dynamic is full of "drama" means that the other is not worth it, I mean the drama is fine (but not everyone likes that kind of development)

In fact it's funny that she mentions Ruby phrase ... but she forgot to mention that that volume focused on the dynamics of Ruby and Weiss from the beginning...besides they brought Sun and Neptune (sinking both ship with the RWBY team girls)

They love to focus on how the Vol 6 focuses the Bumbleby up on its combat dynamics (when literally the Whiterose stands out much more)

They love to point out how Blake focused on Yang when they both disappeared... but when it comes to the Whiterose (they did the same thing) ... they say "Do not count" jajajajajajaja is ridiculous

Again the show instead of focus on group dynamics, focus both ship separately and intimately ... the scenes of Weiss and Ruby do not have the drama of Yang and Blake (but that's not why there is no development)

Besides that it's obvious how Yang does not highlight anything next to Ruby when it comes to Weiss

The happiness and the conford that Ruby gives to Weiss is unique in its dynamics, this volume focuses more, it is called "Development" when you live many experiences with someone (without needing to be, super dramatics...eventually the feelings change and they become closer)

Even in this scene the show focused primarily on Weiss and even mentioned it in RWBY (Review) which was a topical in the "ship" discussions in this volume ... so again its "Little approach" is ridiculous

Besides that it's obvious how Yang does not highlight anything next to Ruby when it comes to Weiss

There were so many moments in which the show could do the "group dynamics" that they mention so much ... but really the show ultimately focuses on Ruby and Weiss on how these small events make them closer, as Weiss emotions towards Ruby are unique.

Again Blake and Yang do not stand out in anything in their interactions

Even when the Bumbleby was focused on this volume (there were several episodes in which nothing happened) Is this bad? no ... but it is understandable, this happened with other relevant ship

With Ruby and Weiss it was the same, the ship received a lot of time on the screen, a more dynamic dynamic and had its breaks in the Volume ... then in the end having great moments

The scene where Ruby wanted Weiss to be by her side for emotional support and her presence comforting her is simply a genius

His dynamic excelled over the others (except for the BB who were fighting against Adam)

The worry and anger of Weiss by the risky of the actions of Ruby giving a funny moment and at the same time very intimate between both (does not count according to the Bumbleby) because there is no "drama" ajjajajajajjaaj

Even though the Bumbleby was the main focus of the final part of Vol 6 (the Whiterose stood out in a great way ... they gave them so many scenes together and very "shipping") that you would have to be a hypocrite and hater to deny it

The Bumbleby had its best moment and conclusion in this volume and that is very good.

it is obvious that the Bumbleby has to be the main development in this Volume (because not even the arc of Weiss has started that will be given in Vol 7 that obviously will be given together with Ruby) ... all those "arguments" are idiots and easy to deny)

As you could see the arguments to "disprove" the Whiterose are very ridiculous and really say that "They have no bad intention" even when they label it with "Anti WR" is really absurd... but then nobody can tell them anything because they change the story and blame the Whiterose.

Seriously, what the hell did the Whiterose fandom do to the BB on the Vol 6 that are bugging a lot?

which brings me to the last part of the text (which is the most absurd)

As I mentioned before, who the hell wants to "force" them to ship the Whiterose? I hate that stupid arrogance, we do not need them or anything like that ... our fandom from before is already one of the biggest and we never did anything to them, besides that the Whiterose has a different development and that makes it better (because I dont want to see BB 2.0).

Ruby is the protagonists

Another thing that I realized with these "critics" is that they do not understand that Ruby is the protagonist ... her development is different, everything with her has to happen later on.

For something, the dynamics of Ruby and Weiss develops more slowly, has more time on the screen and in the next volume began the Weiss arc that will literally involve Ruby in something much more dramatic, this is not "speculation" of Vol. 6 and the whole narrative is ready ... it's something that that small part of Bumbleby fans do not understand or do not want to understand

Because both Blake and Yang have less relevance than Ruby in the first volumes, they have less screen time in their dynamics before Vol 6 and their ship recently had a satisfactory conclusion in this volume (I do not deny the symbolism or the "parallelism") but I will not go through the negative side that many see in the BB.

This is understandable because they are not the main protagonist, they do not have the dynamics with more time on the screen is obvious...the character of Ruby covers more, there is no time just for ship and even so his dynamic with Weiss is the best developed of his character

The matter with the RWBY Manga

Something quite hypocritical is that really that small part of BB fandom gives relevance to all the moments of his favorite ship in these mangas ... but as you know, the Whiterose has even more moments in the manga and there they close their eyes saying "this it's nothing canon "

even in the new official RWBY manga (published in the Shonen Jump) that many in the fandom, even the Haters have praised for their good narrative, has as its main focus the Whiterose ... literally here is a person who has more knowledge of how to write a story and his favorite dynamic is the Whiterose where he makes it clear that he pairs them and his moments are not few, so again, why give more material to a ship ... that does not make sense? but to the Bumbleby that is the "canon" there is very little in that manga (but there is) because the author also understands that there is yuri

know that manga will follow the official history of the Vol but clear with details of the author and as we see (remains excellent) and RT gave his full permission, it is obvious because they do not give ship material between Weiss-Jaune-Jaune-Ruby or other ship unimportant to the future

Conclusion

Since the recent Vol 6 ended and the Whiterose became much more "relevant" as ship because now you can get a consistent narrative of all the development of both girls ...some Bumbleby fans feel the need to "discredit" because .. .they are "the canon WLW" and it is very stupid.

Bumbleby fans do not complain about stupid couples like Sun-Weiss who has no fucking sense (not even the WR complain about that) (do not complain about Jaune-Weiss who does not have a minute of development in this volume)

They want to have a "unique" narrative in which Blake stays with Yang because this is something "revolutionary" ... but they want to match Weiss with a boy with whom she has no development in a pathetic cliche ("because she is straight" ) when actually until Blake had more Focus on that unlike Weiss... that there is literally 0 development with guys.

As of the end of this volume, they are beginning with their "inoffensive" arguments to try to discredit Whiterose.

-First they started with "pedophilia" (which is stupid) -Then they followed that a "vocal" part of the Whiterose fandom sexualizes Ruby (which is funny because Yang is the most profaned character in all RWBY and with more parodies and material in the Rule 34 hetero-lesbian) without mentioning that this argument is very silly because it's internet and a popular series will always have porn of all kinds (you have to live in a bubble if you think only lesbians like BB)

Then they say that "we force them to shippear" which I explain here is ridiculous (Also again ... you stop labeling your post with "Tag" from Renora, Arkos or other ship ... many times, but nobody tells you nothing, here the Whiterose does not do that almost never and when does it is to focus a point ... but apparently this Bumbleby fan are fucking elitists)

I think I said what I had to say and for every member of the Whiterose fandom that reads this (Do not let this little part of the Bumbleby fandom tell you that nonsense, then they are complaining "there are all hating BB because they are homophobic" ... now I understand why they hate them, they want to annoy another fandom that does not do anything to them ... although at the end of the day, they do not know a shit about what might happen in the series and their arguments are so unimportant that it has no relevance) .. But it's always good to bring out your nonsense

I like the ship Bumbleby I made several reviews in their favor (but that 5% of their fans have me getting tired with their hypocrisy and believe themselves superior when they come out with those pathetic arguments)

Having said this I say goodbye and until the next

#rwby #white rose #whiterose #ruby rose #weiss schnee

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samscns-blog · 5 years

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* 𝖎𝖋 ur ready to two step into some absolute BULLSHIT tomfoolery , ya girl 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 is ready for u with my lil firecrotch son , 𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖘𝖔𝖓 . strong silent type , ABSOLUTE buffoon , barely keeping it together so hopefully by the time we’re done w him he’s still in something resembling one piece :’) all my love to u and u cute asses ! i’m so excited to get this all poppin !

⋆ ╰ another year at hollingsworth , another year of the big six rivalry . i hear that SAMSON MAILOTO is ensuring SIGMA ALPHA NU gets a solid pledge class and stays at the top of the ranks . oh , you’re not familiar with HIM ? SAM is the KJ APA look alike from THE BRONX , NEW YORK . a part of PC ‘16 , he is majoring in KINESIOLOGY and has plans to ENTER THE MMA AND ESCAPE FROM THE PUBLIC EYE after undergrad . it makes sense they pledged their house , their PHLEGMATIC & SOLICITOUS attributes make them perfect matches . however , their TREPIDATIOUS & AUSTERE attributes keep their name alive on greek rank . if you don’t catch them dancing to BLEACH - BROCKHAMPTON at a fraternity band party this year , you’ll be sure to catch them nursing their morning hangover at THE SNU HOUSE . cheers to another wild semester !

⋆ ╰ 𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑻 𝑰 𝑺 𝑻 𝑰 𝑪 𝑺 .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 : samson ioaleki mailoto

𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 : sam , sammy

𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 / 𝒂𝒈𝒆 : february 4 , twenty

𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄 : aquarius

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚 / 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔 : cismale identifying with he / him / his pronouns

𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : heteroflexible and pansexual ; he’s never actively considered himself as lgbtq+ but has also never given it much thought ddjdjdjdkjdk

𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : kinesiology major at hu , aspiring welterweight mma fighter , us olympic representitive for men’s boxing in the 2020 olympics

𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 : gryffindor

𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 : eliot alder from mr robot , kylo ren from the new star wars series , detective elliot stabler from law and order svu , steve rogers from the mcu

𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔 : - trepidatious , austere , apprehensive , hesitant , antisocial , hostile , bellicose .

+ phlegmatic , solicitous , benevolent , rational , stalwart , loyal , reliable , optimistic .

𝑃𝐼𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐸𝑆𝑇 located here !

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬 𝑪 𝑬 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵 𝑻 .

bullet points for the win bc who has time for all the tomfoolery i could spew from my ass !

sammy’s mom was a housekeeper in upper manhattan for some fancy dancy homes who needed their gold toilet seat covers sanitized 3x a day , u know the type 🙄

samson grew up in a run down apartment in a small samoan community in the bronx and has always been a lil antisocial weirdo since those warm dark eyes came into the light . he rlly minded his own business n wasn’t really curious about literally anything besides running and wrestling w his cousins . his mom struggled to keep him fed and housed and dressed and worked relentless hours but never left sam needing anything , a literal fucking legend of a woman and he’s proud to carry her last name !

sammy always felt the weight of never wanting to be an extra burden to his mother and learned to really be self-sufficient , likely explaining his satisfaction with being so alone

he vaguely remembers the night his life changed in middle school , the hushed strained whisper from the living room , he’s your god damned son too , think about him for once in your fucking life . it hit like a fucking train once the story picked up , 5 time nfl superbowl champ father to secret love child . think arnold schwarznegger’s secret son level scandal ! suddenly his shithead of a dead is trying to salvage his image , fighting for split custody arrangements , telling the press how much in child support he payed , anything to save his ass

this is the first time samson remembers being fueled by rage in his life , as a relatively well-tempered child , the injustice of having this near-stranger try to be a “ DAD ” to him while shitting all over his mother’s name made his fucking blood boil and becomes a theme for his future

he spends the next chapters of his life going to the fancy private schools in new york his dad picks for him and tearing his tie off on the ratty bus ride into the bronx to go home to his mom . he hates having to haul ass back and forth , wishing he could stay with the only family he’s actually given a shit about , but bears it for the sake of not causing his mom any more torment . his father is as awful as could be imagined , and samson hates every second of existing with him , the snarky little comments at school and in the ritzy wealthy circles that make him feel more of a black sheep than he ever asked to be

this becomes the root of his anxiety , bearing the weight of the world’s expectations on his young shoulders and repressing his own needs and desires as a result . he goes into every sport imaginable , his father’s DNA being increasingly difficult to deny , but finds a particular talent with fighting and takes on as many fighting styles as he’s able to master

turning 18 should mean freedom for sam , but nothing is ever as simple as he could ask in his life . in order to keep the child support payments that admittedly help keep his mother afloat , his father asks one more thing of samson : hold off on his pro mma dreams for just a little longer in order to attend his alma matter , hollingsworth university , as a publicity move and then he’ll be out of sam’s life in every way except financially . with the dream of completing college like his mom always aspired for him , sam agreed and went on to appease the man one last time , joining his former fraternity to sweeten the deal ( and secure a lovely brownstone in his childhood neighborhood signed in his mother’s name ) and is a year out from graduating and letting mma be the only reason his name would ever appear in the tabloids .

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝒀 𝑺 𝑰 𝑺 .

personality wise , i describe sam as the stupid bitch w big npc energy , if u want him to talk u gotta talk to him first and even then he might just give u that hostile stare and just .. . . remain silent KSDFSDF

he’s about as NOT a people person as physically possible , would really be content just sticking to his inner circle for like the rest of his life without concern . he seems like this rude stand-offish dick but the truth is he’s PAINFULLY SHY and has a p severe case of generalized anxiety disorder so interactions ? w new ppl ? are a HARD pass

did i mention he’s on steriods bc that def adds to his anxiety and hostility ! lmao ! he started juicing in high school when his dad kept pressuring him for football and how he was “ twice your size ” at that age , n he HATES the dude but he’s also lowkey insecure abt his lack of a father figure so ? used daddy’s money to start his first cycle and pay off to test clean and now he’s been hooked on and off . he’s currently starting a new cycle to bulk up for the new season and prep for the 2020 olympics but swears he wont be on them forever :/

they make him SUPER aggressive when set off , it’s a decent thing that sam’s so monotone and shy that he’s also pretty laid back and kinda hard to rile up . he really doesn’t take much personally and won’t do a huge “ chest pumped bro lets do this ” show bc he ? thinks all those guys who do that are tools LMAO but find the right button to push n he’ll become the very thing he despises !

if u can get past the literal awkward silence and resting bitch face , sammy is actually really well known for being just a generally decent guy . the perception is often that he’s a dick bc he think’s he’s better than a lot of ppl , but the truth is he’s just too nervous to start conversations n most ppl assume its an ego thing vs a “ i’m about to piss myself thinking abt all the ways this convo can go wrong so i’ll just not talk and glare @ u instead ” thing

if he had his shit together he would definitely qualify as a dad type , but since he doesn’t , he won’t SSHSHSHSH but he’s really just a softie deep down , he has a stupid as HELL sense of humor and is really objective and level headed . the gryffindor in him is DEEPLY loyal , like to the death , but he’s got lots of hufflepuff in the sense that he’s really willing to get his hands dirty to help those in need . u need help moving ? someone to keep u company while u babysit ? feel nervous walking alone after class at night ? sammy might leave u on read if u text him bc he’s a Dumb Bitch like that but he’ll show up on the dot , hands in pockets , exactly where u asked him to be ready to do what u asked him to do . the mans is a super hard worker

he def still feels kinda weird at uni ? he’s p smart but some of the classes unrelated to athletics and anatomy have given him a REALLY tough time ( dance appreciation for his fine arts credit almost tanked his gpa LMAO ) and he’s not top of his class or anything but ppl still try to talk to him bc of the whole “ famous dad , future olympian ” thing , which he can pick up from a mile a way and makes him super uncomfortable . even being in a frat w a bunch of old money rich boys makes him DEF feel like the odd one out , and he’s just counting down the days until he’s OUT OF HERE

in conclusion : i love u all . lets suffer together . :~)

#rank:intro #love u all sm :' (#i'll have emmy's done tomorrow i hope !

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thesffcorner · 4 years

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Book Couples of 2019: Ranked

I stole this idea from Sam at ThoughtsOnTomes, and I’ve done it two years in a row. So why not keep the tradition going in the next decade too and rank all the couples from books I read in 2019.

Before we start, some ground rules:

SPOILERS AHEAD;

All of the couples are from books I read in 2019;

All the couples must be canon; they are only on the list if they are written as explicitly romantic;

Worst to Best, i.e. couples I liked the least to couples I liked the best.

Let’s go!

TERRIBLE TIER:

50. Erika and Michael from Corrupt by Penelope Douglass

Is anyone surprised that these two are the worst couple of the year? If you are, you must be new here.

This pairing has all the tropes I hate in literature: an abusive, possessive alpha male hero who treats the girl like shit, but it’s ok because he loves her. He’s also willing to destroy her life over his friends, who as far as he knows raped her, so that’s fun too. Oh, and also it takes for her to almost die for him to tell her he loves her. We stan an emotionally stunted idiot.

As for Erika, she’s entitled, dumb, naive and completely virginal, in spite of being in a committed long term relationship. She has no personality other than her unrequited 14 year old crush, but somehow she’s supposed to be smart and independent? Sure, Jan.

49. Joe and Beck from You, by Caroline Kepness:

I don’t think I need to explain to anyone why I hated these two. They are both pretentious, horrible people and I’d say they deserve each other, except no one deserves Joe, not even Beck.

48. Marcus, Maria and Saya from Deadly Class by Rick Remendeer:

2019 was a bad year for love triangles, which is a trope I’m not a huge fan of anyway, but man did this year make me hate it even more. As the first example we have Marcus, Maria and Saya, who are by far 3 of the most obnoxious characters I have ever had the displeasure of reading from.

First we have Maria, who is just ‘crazy’, because women be crazy y’all! She’s promiscuous, even though she has a boyfriend, who she then cheats on with Marcus, back-stabs her best friend over him, and then gets dropped like a potato when Marcus realizes he can sleep with Saya too.

There are some attempts in the latter volumes to give her some depth and explain why she was dating Dio to start with, but you know, I’d rather you had opened with that.

Marcus, outside of being the absolute worst person in existence, treats Maria poorly, talks shit about her behind her back, cheats on her, let’s her take the fall for stuff he and Saya did and in general doesn’t want to be with her, but stays because sex.

His relationship with Saya is even worse; they like the same shitty music, and are both horny. Also Saya is a horrible tsundere cliche, which is already annoying in anime and manga, even well written ones, let alone when an American writer tries to emulate it. Badly.

BAD TIER:

47. Mariko, Akira and Taro from Empress of All Seasons by Emiko Jean

The second love triangle on the list, and this one wins by being the dumbest, most underdeveloped one of the year.

Mariko was the character I liked the most, but her connection to both Akira and Taro was tenuous at best, and more than a little frustrating.

Akira gets put in the friend-zone, except not really because he actually is proactive and tries to show Mariko that he values her, but then the book forgets about him so we can develop Taro, who is somehow even worse. At least Akira had a connection to Mariko before he fell for her; Taro sees her and decides she’s the one because she talks back at him thinking he’s just an ordinary samurai, not the prince, a trope that needs to fuckin DIE. Not to mention his faster than Kylo Ren turn to the darkside.

46. Odessa, Evander and Mereday from Reign of the Fallen by Sarah Glenn Marsh:

The next triangle on this list, and this one hurts more because it actually had potential.

There is something really compelling about two women coming together to grieve the loss of a loved one, with the idea that Mereday has nursed a crush on Odessa since childhood, but because of social norms and her brother, she’s stayed away.

What we get instead is an uneven mess, where neither character feels like they are progressing at all, and a ton of contrivances as to why they won’t talk to each other, instead of building on the existing conflict of ‘Odessa’s boyfriend and Mereday’s brother is the same person, and he is dead’.

45. Poe, Auden and St Sebastian from A Lesson in Thorns, by Sierra Simone:

Speaking of potential, these 3.

This is one of those triangles where all 3 legs should be, and are written to be equal, but unfortunately, the author clearly liked the one I liked the least, the most.

I liked Auden and St Sebastian, wanted to find out what happened to make Auden treat St Sebastian the way he did, and why St Sebastian let him do it. I even liked the pull they felt for each other and the jealousy Poe brought up in them.

I also really liked Poe and St. Sebastian, their angst over being separated, their bonding over feeling like outsiders in Auden’s world, and the loss of their respective mothers.

The couple I liked least were Auden and Poe, which is the one Simone spent the most time on. I hated Auden’s entitlement, the blindness to his privilege, the unnecessary engagement to Delphine, and I likewise hated how horny Poe was 24/7 even when she’s supposed to be finding out what happened to her missing mother, which uh… is not good.

44. Arthur and Ben from What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertali:

I wasn’t a fan of this relationship from the start, because I just couldn’t stand Arthur as a character. Even though he improved, the relationship didn’t.

The two didn’t have any chemistry, they weren’t compatible, and Ben had rather serious issues he should have been solving, instead of jumping straight into a new relationship. Arthur also fixated on stupid shit like a box of stuff, which is appropriately immature, but didn’t make me root for them to succeed as a couple.

Also I hated the ending.

43. Penelope and Sam from Emergency Contact, by Mary H K Choi

In theory, these two would be in the meh tier, but what pissed me off about this relationship is how underdeveloped it was. Sam was a character who needed serious counselling and therapy, not a girlfriend, and Penelope was just an immature teenager. I didn’t root for them to get together, I rooted for them to get help.

42. Malachiasz and Nadezda from Wicked Saints, by Emily Duncan:

These two absolutely have to go to the bad tier, even though they had potential and worked with tropes I like.

I love the idea of a villain-hero romance; it can be done right, and the push and pull between power and control, light and dark, etc can be invigorating. This, was not that.

Firstly we don’t know that Malachiasz is a villain for most of this; at most we think he’s some kind of assassin, but considering the whole mission the characters are on is to destroy Kalyzin and kill the King, that’s not exactly damning. Second, what should be these characters’ conflict, their religious views isn’t at all explored and Nadezda falls for Malachiasz way too quickly for someone who has been indoctrinated from birth to kill people who do blood magic.

Also there’s a set up for a love triangle in book 2, and when will my suffering end.

41. Celine, Bastien and Grimaldi from The Beautiful, by Renee Ahdieh:

Speaking of love triangles, we have possibly the worst one I read this year, in that it wasn’t even properly established!

I had the same issues with Bastien as I did with Auden; he had no personality, other than being rich and handsome. He also does the whole ‘this woman talks back to me, so she must be the one’, which is strike 1 against him.

Celine was fine as a character, but her connection and love for Bastien felt unwarranted, considering both his behavior and everything she knows about him, not to mention it somehow felt rushed in a 500 page book.

Grimaldi I just plain hated. Him stepping in to pretend that he was Celine’s lover when she’s lost her memories and clearly doesn’t love him, but ESPECIALLY him deciding out of the blue that he loves her after he detains and humiliates her for his own amusement made me rage quit this series.

40. Daisy, Camila and Billy from Daisy Jones and the Six, by Taylor Jenkins Reid:

Yeah, I know it’s weird to put the couple(s) from a favorite book of the year in the bad tier, but I really, really didn’t like these pairings.

Billy and Camila were infuriating. I get that people like that exist but Camila was far too forgiving considering everything Billy put her through. Billy was trash.

I also hated the way Billy treated Daisy, and I was furious that she had to live with knowing what was happening between them for decades while he got to go home to his wife and pretend nothing happened. Yeah, this book hit a personal spot, read the review if you want more coherent thoughts.

39. Noam and Dara from the Fever King, by Victoria Lee:

I am genuinely shocked they are this close to the meh tier, because boy was I not a fan of them.

I wrote a really detailed review of this book, and all my issues with Noam and Dara, from their age gap, to the weird sexual politics, to substance abuse, and especially to Dara reading Noam’s mind for months without telling him anything. Their relationship made me uncomfortable, and that was without adding the third leg of this Godforsaken triangle which is Lehrer, a man who is like 100 years old.

But hey, I still want to know what goes down in book 2, so they get to close out the bad tier.

MEH TIER:

38. Runa and Indigo from The Boneless Mercies, by April Genevive Tucholke:

Runa was a great character, but this romance is barely worth mentioning. It’s introduced at the very end, and it’s underdeveloped.

37. Jack and the Village Girl from Down Among the Sticks and Bones, by Seanan McGuire:

I tried to look up the girl’s name, I really did, but I couldn’t find it and I don’t remember it. I also don’t have the book so I can’t check.

I don’t know what I expected from a book about Jack and Jill, but Jill killing Jack’s girlfriend because she was jealous of Jack is… well not it.

36. Lowen and Jeremy from Verity, by Colleen Hover:

I struggled with whether to put these two in the bad or the meh tier. On the one hand, I cared not one bit about their relationship, even after we discover that it’s founded on lies and an attempted murder. On the other, there was nothing inherently wrong with their interactions and they did care for one another, even if was painfully boring.

In the end, I decided that boredom is a meh trait so, meh tier it is.

35. Annaleigh and Cassius from House of Salt and Sorrows, by Erin A Craig:

Instalove, the couple.

There was some potential, with the whole not knowing when it’s the real Cassius and when it’s Kosamaris or the Trickster pretending to be him, but it’s barely taken advantage of. In the end it’s just another ‘we’ve known each other for a week, but let’s die for each other’ plot.

34. Mei and Kai from The Bride Test, by Hellen Hoang:

I really struggled where to put these two, because as individual characters, they were fine, great even. As a couple? Yikes.

I loved Mei and wanted her to be happy, but the secret she kept from Kai was genuinely horrible, and I still can’t believe that the book resolved it by just not addressing it until the very end.

Kai was fine, not nearly as developed or likable as Mei, but the way he treated Mei in parts of this book were horrific, even if he struggles with expressing feelings and boundaries.

I ended up placing them in the meh tier, because at least they were never malicious to each other, which is more than can be said for the couples in the bad and terrible tier.

33. Rachel and Delphine from A Lesson in Thorns, by Sierra Simone:

These two get to be in the meh, not the bad purely because I actually understood their dynamic. I really liked the idea of Delphine discovering her sexuality, both in women and in BDSM, and overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own body and desires.

I also liked seeing Rachel realize that she had actual feelings for Delphine and having to deal with them. Too bad I’ll never get to find out how their relationship will pan out, cause fuck this series.

32. Stevie and David from Truly Devious, by Maureen Johnson:

These two were perfectly fine, even interesting at points, until the ending, which made me so angry that they get to squat in the meh tier.

Also Stevie going through David’s stuff? Not cool.

31. Yen and Vu Con from In the Vanisher’s Palace, by Aliette DeBodard:

The dynamic between these two was more than a little uneven, with the constant threat of murder and the knowledge that Yu would never be able to go home and see her mother, which is enough for me to resent any character no matter how cool of a dragon she is.

But… that human-dragon sex scene. Wildest thing I’ve read all year.

30. Henry and Diego from We Are the Ants, by Shaun David Hutchinson:

While I liked the book a lot, Henry and Diego were… not great. Diego was a character that at points came off more unreal than the aliens, from his wildly dramatic life story, to him not going to jail at the end, and his limitless patience when it came to Henry. Truly a manic pixie dream boy.

29. Olive and Ethan from the Un-honeymooners, by Christina Lauren:

This couple would have been in the great tier, had it not been for the last third of the book. Ethan not believing Olive, telling her that she’s jealous and dramatic for wanting to warn her sister that his brother is a cheater, and then making up for it with a stupid, grandiose gesture instead of, actually talking to her and learning his lesson? Nah, we don’t stan that kind of manipulative behavior in this house. The only reason they are in the meh tier is because they really were cute the rest of the book.

28. Isobel and Julio from An Alchemy of Masques and Mirrors, by Curtis Craddock:

Not much to say about them, mostly because they met in the last third of the book. I would take a bullet for Isobel, and judging by the blurb for book 2, Julio might have beat me to it, so he gets to be in the meh.

27. Emily and Haskel from Passing Strange, by Ellen Klages:

Like Mei and Kai, I liked these two as separate characters more than as a couple. It’s not that there weren't any chemistry between them, it’s that they weren’t developed enough for me to care. If this were a longer work instead of a novella, they’d probably be higher.

26. Jonas and Florian from The Monster of Elendhaven, by Jennifer Giesbrecht:

I liked the idea of this relationship more than the execution. Jonas being horny 24/7 for Florian’s dainty wrists was understandable, but Florian being sad that Jonas isn’t his dead twin sister… less so.

However this does get points for having the strangest sex scene in any book I’ve read this year; yeah even stranger than the one in Gideon the Ninth.

OK TIER:

25. Ruby and Dov from The Wise and the Wicked, by Rebecca Podos:

While I didn’t love the book, Ruby and Dov were fine. I appreciated the trans rep, I liked the way their relationship developed and the oddball humor the characters shared, and I thought they were cute together.

24. Lila and Cassel from the Curse Workers Series, by Holly Black:

Lila and Cassel grew on me substantially between White Cat and the rest of the series. I liked the angst in Red Glove because of Lila being worked and I liked the rod trip they get to go on at the end of Black Heart.

23. Aurora and Kal from Aurora Rising, by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman:

There is nothing wrong with Aurora or Kal, even their bonding/imprinting thing reminded me too much of Twilight/Avatar.

They do have cute scenes together, but I’m just not a fan of the alpha male, macho boy ‘protecting’ the girl and deciding for her what he will do with their relationship. There’s room for improvement, is what I’m trying to say.

22. All the couples from the Witchlands Series, by Susan Dennard:

I was originally going to split these up in different tiers, but seeing as it’s been exactly a year since I read these books, and I don’t remember much about these couples, they all get to go in the OK tier.

First we have Ryber and Kullen from Sightwitch. I liked Kullen’s humor, which contrasted well with Ryber’s seriousness and diligence, but there’s very little of them as an actual couple. I hope we get to see them again in Bloodwitch.

Aeduin and Iseult were also fine. I know they feature more prominently in Bloodwitch, but what little we get from them in Truthwitch and Windwitch was some solid set up for a good Ben/Rey, Zuko/Katara type relationship.

Safi and Merik are my favorite, but that’s only because I love Safi. Merik is the weaker part of this duo, though I do enjoy their banter, and the scene in Truthwitch where they dance and start levitating was amazing.

21. Sam Cade and Gina from Stillhouse Lake, by Rachel Caine:

I was really surprised by how much I still like these two as a couple. The only reason they aren’t higher, is because they don’t stay a couple by the end of the book.

I genuinely loved how tender and slow their relationship developed, and how much character development Cade got to get to it. Him bonding with Gina’s kids, was super sweet and the scene where he asks Gina if he can kiss her warmed my shriveled heart.

GOOD TIER:

20. Frey and King Roth from The Boneless Mercies, by April Genevive Tucholke:

I think the theme for the good category is my surprise at how much certain couple stuck with me. When I read the book, I wasn’t thrilled with Frey and Roth, because a different romance for Frey had been built up.

But now, a year later, I still remember their scenes, especially the one where Roth tells Frey he is writing an epic about her, and asks her to come back to him. Good sh*t.

19. Kate and Shepherd from This Is Our Story, by Ashley Elston:

I was surprised at how much I liked these two as a couple. They were supportive and cute, while also dealing with some serious issues and angst. The ending was a bit dramatic, but the scene where Kate likes a 4 year old picture of Shep on instagram by accident SPOKE TO MY SOUL.

18. Grier and Shafeen from STAGS by M A Bennett:

This is another pairing that surprised me with how much I liked them. The book claimed that Henry was charming, but Shafeen was the real charmer, and I could actually believe that he is a gentleman who went to private school.

Grier was a bit dim, and more than a little naive, but I liked how she got through the huntin’ shootin’ an’ fishin.

17. Levi and Enne from Ace of Shades, by Amanda Foody:

I loved these two and they had great chemistry and banter, but they aren’t yet an official couple so I can’t really justify putting them any higher than good.

The scene where Enne plays for Levi’s life? Amazing.

16. Harrow and Gideon from Gideon the Ninth, by Tamsyn Mur:

I wanted them to be in the great tier, but they just weren’t.

I loved Gideon; she was funny, a true himbo. But Harrow? I hated her for about the first 300 pages of the book. And when I finally stopped hating her, they had that weird bath sex scene and then Gideon DIED.

So I can’t put them any higher knowing that I liked only 20% of their actual relationship.

15. Cat and Tyler from Aurora Rising, by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman:

Cat and Tyler? Now that’s some good sh*t.

I am a sucker for the captain and his/her pilot pairing, especially if one of them is a smooth talking pretty boy and the other a daredevil always ready to fight. These two were excellent, not just in their chemistry and banter, but also in the angst because what kept them apart actually made sense.

I love that Cat broke a chair off of Tyler’s head when they met, Anne of Green Gables style, but I also love the scene where they first got together at the bar. Chef’s kiss.

14. Sebastian and Emir from Running with Lions, by Julian Winters:

Seb and Emir were really close to making the great tier, but there were just too many contrived reasons to keep them apart.

I liked the slow build from enemies to friends to lovers, but I just wish we had gotten more time on the lovers section without unnecessary drama keeping them apart.

13. Poppy and Cerenic from Sleepless, by Sarah Vaughn:

I freaking love Poppy and Cerenic, and they would have been in the great tier, had it not been for the rushed ending.

They were still excellent together; supportive, trusting and caring, and that scene where Cerenic kisses Poppy so she can’t put him to sleep? God tier.

GREAT TIER:

12. Mia and Grace from On a Sunbeam, by Tillie Walden:

I loved how cute and realistic, Mia and Grace’s relationship was, which a wild thing to say for a series set in space. I loved their friendship, how it slowly became a romance, the heartbreaking way they split apart and then found each other again.

The only reason they aren’t higher on the list is because they don’t end the comic as a couple, which works perfect for the story, but less so for my, uh, list of couples.

11. Millie and Flora from Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins:

I am a sucker for the stuck up snob falls for the earthy dumbass, and Flora and Millie were exactly that. They were a really cute couple; I liked the discussion of homophobia in the royal family, letting someone else define your life and the overall way the two of them got together. I also appreciated Millie being the one to fuck up and doing everything she could to fix her mistakes.

10. Daisy and Miles from Prince Charming by Rachel Hartman:

Daisy and Miles beat Millie and Flora just because reading their banter put tears in my eyes. I don’t think I’ve laughed out loud at any other book like I did this one.

There were so many great moments in this book, starting from Big Bird Hat to Sebastian getting punched by Alex, but the scene I love the most was the scene between Miles and Daisy in the cabin.

9. Severin and Laila from The Gilded Wolves, by Roshani Chokshi:

The amount of angst and sexual tension Laila and Severin have makes me wonder if this book perhaps should have been an adult.

I like both characters on their own, though I’m always a sucker for the trope of two competent and smart people making the other an absolute fool just by being in the same room as them.

I would have put them higher, but I just hate the way this book ended. Though since I’m mentioning scenes that were great… the dance. If you know you know.

8. Jack Zimmerman and Bitty from Check, Please! By Ngozi Ukazu:

Jack and Bitty are too cute for words. I love the way their relationship developed, I love their dynamic, how positive their relationship is while also dealing with real world issues, like families and gossip magazines.

Also this comic is amazing and free, go read it.

7. Hypnos, Zofia and Enrique from The Gilded Wolves, by Roshani Chokshi:

I didn’t know that my perfect pairing is where every character is Jonathan from the Mummy, but I guess that’s my jam.

Enrique and Zophia using their skills in math, languages and history to solve riddles together was great and hilarious, especially Enrique antagonizing Zofia just to see her reaction.

Hypnos is my favorite character and the banter between him and Enrique was excellent; I’m always a sucker for smooth-talking rich, misunderstood anti-heroes with tragic backstories (ahem, Lando, ahem). If this is to be a love triangle with one pairing at the end, I really don’t know who I’m rooting for.

6. Zara, Beatriz and Nadim from the Honors Series, by Rachel Caine and Ann Aguire:

Finally, some good fuckin food.

This love triangle fed me. It was the only one that was properly developed and established, I loved all 3 characters in it, and they all complimented each other amazingly.

Zara is a great lead, I really loved her journey; I would die for Nadim, though I’d probably have to fight Zara for that because her commitment to him was so wonderful. I also really love how slowly and carefully Beatriz was introduced as a love interest, and how well balanced the three of them are. Can’t wait to see what happens in Honor Lost.

5. Bri and Curtis from On the Come Up, by Angie Thomas:

Listen, their banter alone was enough to make me root for them. Also Curtis saved Bri from a freaking SWAT team so like… what more do I need to say.

They were just super cute and entertaining ok?

GOD TIER:

4. Nax and Ryan from The Disasters, by M K Englnd:

The only couple that came close to making me laugh as much as Miles and Daisy, except I related to Nax way more as the bisexual disaster he is.

I loved the way Nax’s always on the edge of a panic attack, and yet somehow still so charming personality was complemented by Ryan’s cool calm and collected demeanor, and their banter was hilarious.

I especially enjoyed Nax’ inner monologues, and the scene where they have to hide in a herd of goats had me in stitches.

3. Neil and Andrew from All for the Game Trilogy, by Nora Sakavic:

People should learn how to write an angsty slowburn from this series.

Andrew is an absolute piece of shit and Neal definitely deserved better, but I am not about to sit here and tell you that the scene where Andrew let Neal put his hand on his chest and Neal didn’t move it, didn’t send me into a weeklong crisis.

2. Rachel and Sana from Tell Me How You Really Feel, by Aminah Mae Safi:

Sana and Rachel were like two halves of my own personality and yet somehow infinitely cooler than I’ll ever be. Their romance was an excellent homage to every great teen rom-com, and I loved every page of it.

Sana was amazing; I loved her personality, the way she stood up for herself and dealt with problems. I also loved that for once the more feminine of the duo was the one who took charge of the relationship.

The only gripe I have with Rachel was that she finished the film before the screening, like hello, ex-film student here: I call bs.

1. Alex and Henry from Red White & Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston:

Was there any doubt here? Henry and Alex were hands down the best written couple of 2019. Not only were both individual characters fleshed out and so well developed, their relationship, going from enemies, to beruging friends, crushes, and finally lovers willing to upheave international politics was amazing to read about.

Alex Claremont Diaz is my favorite character of the year and maybe even top 5 of all time, and if you haven’t read this book, read it. It will make you a happier person.

And there you have it, 50 couples ranked. Happy reading in 2020!

#book couples 2019 #book couples #reading #moni talks

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lunahearts · 4 years

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Some Star Wars thoughts, in no particular order

Preface: I really liked this movie. Spoilers below, obviously, but not many more than what was already leaked. I try to keep stuff vague, so if you like... know a couple of big things that are being talked about (way too much for some reason honestly oh my god) and are trying to decide if you want to see the movie, this should be safe!

Okay first, to get it out of the way... some complaints

Finn should have had more screen time, as usual. I do like was done with him in general, but there should have been more of it, and his biggest hero moment unfortunately felt a little underwhelming. I’m also pretty uncomfortable/disappointed with how he seemed to be portrayed as having like this one-sided thing for Rey that was even framed comedically at times. That being said they end the second to last scene and strongest emotional beat on him and it was very good (and tbh the scene that followed felt more like a stinger to me, as far as I’m concerned the movie closes on Finn finding a family, and a happy ending, and I love that)

The whole thing was jammed with at least a movie and a half’s worth of plot. *looks at tlj* no idea how that could have happened. I think it does a good job with what it has to work with, and tight writing + good set up and payoff make it work most of the time, but... room to process their feelings, characters have not.

The kiss was stupid. It also, imo, was entirely fanservice and if you removed like two shots and replaced them with something platonic GIVE US THE FOREHEAD TOUCH TAKE I KNOW IT EXISTS then I think that Rey and Kylo’s interactions were very well done. It’s not romantic unless you are already looking for it to be romantic. Except for the kiss. Which was stupid and sudden and out of place.

Okay anyway I am gonna gush now

So first of all I just think the plot and pacing of this movie was really well executed. It wasn’t the most exciting or daring of plots, but also it didn’t need to be. The rule of three set up and payoff was outstanding though, and that’s really what carries it. A lot of the time it’s easy to see that payoff coming, or at least see that it is coming, but it mostly feels like being a bit spoiled for a really good story - even if you have a good idea where it’s going you can still really enjoy the journey. And you probably don’t know exactly where it’s going, anyways.

my favorite example of this is something they set up really early about Rey and Kylo’s force bond, and a thing it can do.

This first time it happens is a super fast “woah holy shit that can happen???” moment.

The second time its a “oh. oh no. it can happen and has happened in the worst possible way”

and the last time is “OH! OH!!! ITS GONNA HAPPEN ITS HAPPENING OH MY GOD.”

The THEMES. Holy shit the themes. This movie 100% sold me on Kylo redemption, as someone who was VERY uh... lets say I was very unimpressed by the idea of it going into things. And I’ll talk more about why I think “redemption” isn’t even exactly the right word, but for now yeah I’ll just say I really liked what they did with Kylo.

BUT ANYWAY THEMES. OKAY. I think it is so so vital and good to have a story so devoted to Doing The Right Thing. But not just doing the right thing. I think the absolute heart of the movie is just... no matter what you’ve done, no matter the mistakes you’ve made, choosing to do the right thing matters. It always matters.

Like okay I really think there’s a shift in how this movie deals with ye olde dark side compared to the first two, bc it’s very personal, and feels very grounded in trauma and fear and a phrase Liz said last night that I loved which is, “the seductive pull of despair.”

If I had to write is as a thesis statement I’d absolutely use that phrase, it would be something like...

“There is never a moment in which it is too late -- generationally, individually, or globally -- to resist the seductive pull of despair.”

But also like the other thesis is just “every good thing you do matters.” Which is probably one of my favorite power fantasies in the whole world.

Like there’s a group of people established at the midpoint of the film, who are just like, People Who Did The Right Thing. And they have been living ever since then taking care of each other, trying to unlearn the way they were raised, trying to resist despair in their own corner of the galaxy.

And like, in some ways it would be cool to just have them there! A nice story, a nice group of people, a nice expansion in the world of Star Wars. But that’s NOT where it leaves them, and very specifically there’s a moment in the final big confrontation where the big nasty man is like “do a thing! stop them!” and it doesn’t work specifically bc of an aspect of these people and the life they’ve built makes it not work. It’s funny and satisfying and a wonderful emotional payoff all at once.

And basically this is why the Kylo stuff works for me. Because it’s really not about him, it’s about Rey and Leia. It’s about Rey and Leia choosing to do good, and how that matters. If Kylo had stayed a shitty evil brat until the end, then their stories wouldn’t have been as powerful.

Kylo “I’m only here to reinforce themes” Ren

Okay but to touch a bit more on redemption, I really don’t think he’s redeemed. Or like, he’s not redeemed because it’s not about balancing anything out, or him going down in history as a Good Man, or other characters forgiving him. It’s about him spending the whole movie saying “you can’t go back Rey, once you do something bad you are bad and you can’t go back home.”

And they Rey does something bad

She does something bad and IMMEDIATELY LOSES HER CHANCE TO MAKE IT BETTER WITH THE PERSON MOST HURT BY HER ACTION

And then she does something good anyway

Because you can always do something good, and you can always go back. Even if you hurt someone you love. Even if you become, for a moment, what you are most afraid of. Even if you can’t unmake your mistakes. You can still do good. You can still make the world better.

And that is why he chooses to change. And that is a good reason to change. To see someone demonstrate that there is always room for kindness? To see that and find a hope you had lost years ago? That’s good shit! That’s what Star Wars is about babey!

Also the banter was back and good and the Trio Content oh my god. Thank you. Finally.

New droid is baby and I love them.

The new lady characters are obviously underdeveloped but I DO love them. There’s a moment at the end of the movie that makes me really hope that one of them gets a spin-off/sequel, and there is ample room for a standalone Poe prequel featuring the other one. I think they have pretty strong characterizations for the space they get.

also one of them gets an extremely good moment with Rey that killed me. Like don’t get ur hopes up for any actual content or conversation but it was one of those “oh I REALLY hope there’s fanfic” moments and I loved it.

I love Rey [redacted] and I will have to write a whole other post about her maybe.

I thought Poe’s arc was cool! It wasn’t what I was expecting but I thought it was interesting and I’m always down for some “ur friends are here for you, you don’t have to and also literally can’t do everything on ur own.

That’s another theme of the film btw and its good

Most of the action scenes were just kinda “eh okay this is a Star Wars movie I guess they gotta do that now. Like fun and flashy but overall without much substance.

BUT I really liked the second lightsaber fight with Rey and Kylo. Good way to mix it up.

Leia...........

Leia good

You are not your blood! You are the family you choose. Thank u and also finally.

I really liked how this movie handled the Sith and the lore/perspective it added honestly makes a lot of Sith stuff in general make more sense to me. It’s one of those cool bits of lore that isn’t exactly a retcon but it is retroactive context that shows everything in different light. Or like maybe that’s always been the context but I think it’s more clear and upfront about it.

I cried at one part bc there were lots of different ship designs all on screen at the same time and it was like.... wow... star war.... star war good.

star war good

#tros #tros spoilers #this is very stream of consciousness enjoy I guess

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sarenityjames · 5 years

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Life Changes Part 3

@GrumpRen and @Sarenemelody

Ren: *Still holding her hand and my chin resting on it. I was still too wiped out from all that I've done and I could hear her talking to me and telling me to put the railing down.

I sit up just enough to drop the rail and move my chair even closer to her. Taking ahold of her hand again, I put my chin down but on the bed this time. I figured it would be awhile before the other doctor would be here and the fact the others wouldn't be rushing in here anymore like they were before.

I closed my eyes and it didn't take me long to fall asleep. It also didn't take me long to fall into my normal nightmare.

I was back in Iraq with my unit, yet again. Back in the tents when the air raid sirens started going off. This time, I was asleep when they woke me up and I was searching around for my weapon before I strapped my mask to my hips and made a run for the bunker. This time I made it to the entrance of the bunker when a explosive went off not far from me and I was blown into the bunker. I could hear screaming coming from the outside of it. I didn't even want to go look but they were my friends and they needed a medic ASAP.

(Without realizing it, I squeezed Sare's hand during this nightmare. Which in turn would give her it at the same time.)

I crawled my way up out of the bunker and reached the first one I came to. It wasn't good and I hollared out "MEDIC" looking around before applying pressure as I saw a medic running towards me. The second he told me he had it. I went to the next one and it was one of the female supply soldiers that was detailed with us. She was yelling out every curse word possible. I saw where some shrapnel hit her in the leg. It wasn't life threatening but I know for a fact that hurt like a mother fucker. "This is going to hurt but I need to do this." She gave me a nod, I reached down and put pressure on her leg. She cried out a little more but she feel silent as it must've helped her out somewhat with the pain. The blood stopped flowing out of her leg as another medic came over to where I was. This time he had me stay and keep my hands in place as he put an IV in and took over where I was. The next body I approached was closer to where the explosion happened and he was obviously dead. This one I knew and it was another one of my friends. I knelt down next to him and closed his eyes. It was chaos all around me but by the sounds of it, there were only 3 that were killed this time and at least 8 injured.

I woke up with a yell and almost forgot I was in the hospital with @sarenemelody*

SaRENity: *I felt the jerking of the bed, the sound of the metal rail being lowered then I was back out. Comforted at the fact that I had you close.

I was in the middle of my own dreams, my fears of the voices I was going to have to make playing out in my mind when suddenly I felt myself get pulled, out of my dream and into some place I had no clue as to what it was, or where it even was. My hands were not my own ass I looked down at someone. There was a connection between us but I was confused. How did I know this person? It was when my body got up and went to the female with the shrapnel that I realized what this was. Fuck I was seeing some things Ren had briefly told me about when he'd wake from his nightmares! I could feel 'my' heart pounding as words spoken to help calm her were spoken. Now I understood why he came back here unwillingly. I could feel the attachments to each person. Dead, wounded, it alone and helping someone else. My heart broke as I could only watch as he continued. I don't even think Ren realized I was here with him, but it was taking everything to not tear up right now. I was learning names, seeing their faces better, and feeling how he felt about his brothers in arms. This scene as it played out showed me truly how lucky I was that he came back, survived everything, and for us to meet. I knew how deep those scars ran deep in him now better than before.

Just as abruptly that I was pulled into the dream/nightmare I was shoved out. Sitting up slightly as I heard Ren and right now I could not fight the tears any more. I had always said that I wanted to understand better, to be able to help him with it more and now now I really understood the level of which he dealt with this.* Ren baby, *My voice was barely a whisper even as I debated on telling you what had happened. My hand squeezed yours since you seemed to have not let it go through everything* hey it's ok. Just another bad dream, you're ok. @GrumpRen I've got you.

Ren: *I sat up and realized too late where I was and the fact I woke Sare up with my yelling* I'm sorry baby, yes, I know it was a nightmare. *I cracked my neck as you squeezed my hand and I took a deep breath to slow my breathing down.* It's nothing to worry about. Did you want something to drink, besides the water? I need some Mt Dew to drink or something else. *In all reality I just needed to distract myself from my nightmare and the fact I keep reliving my deployments and how much more real they have become since I've gotten these powers bestowed upon me many many years ago. Yes, I know they were there before but they weren't as bad......or were they? I also knew that before I was by myself, I didn't sleep as much and while separated just recently I didn't sleep as much either.* I'll go get you a drink anyway but if you don't want it, you can have it later. I'll be right back. *I didn't even wait for an answer. I already knew what she liked to drink and I needed this walk more than anything. It really didn't take me long to head down the elevators and to the cafeteria where I knew the vending machines were. I put my money in and made the choice for my drink and did the same once I put the money in for hers.

I took the walk back up to her room with both drinks in hand. I finally was wide awake and knew that I wasn't going to let myself fall back to sleep anytime soon. I couldn't help the smile that appeared when I walked in to see her sitting on her bed waiting for me.* Sorry, I just needed the walk @sarenemelody.

SaRENity: Please I've not had a soda in days it feels like. "I didn't want to let go of your hand when you moved away. Tugging your hand knowing you weren't being honest. Right now, about that..... I don't know I couldn't blame you really. It was also clear you didn't know what had happened, that this time I was watching it all unfold like it was my love instead of yours. I raised the bed to sit up as much as I could tolerate, wiggling slowly but surely over to the side the railing was stop up on. It hurt to move and I had to remind myself to not go on and try to put weight on my left hand. It was so hard to not use it, but somehow I managed. By the time you came back in the room I was situated and had just enough room created for you to sit with me.* Come sit with me baby. *I was going to tell you, but not so bluntly. I-was waiting, for you to sit on the bed beside me. Taking the drink you got for me the cold bottle an instant relief.* Um, something happened while we were both asleep.

@GrumpRen I don't know how to explain it.

Ren: *I walked over to the bed and sat down next to you with a brow raised and a slight frown. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear that they came back in here while I was asleep* Don't tell me that they came in here again? If they did. *Growling as I stood back up and went to the door looked down the hall. I didn't see them when I went after our drinks. I looked both ways before closing the door again and coming to sit back down.* I'm going to have heads rolling if they did baby. They can't keep doing this shit to you, it's not right. *I looked over at you as I saw a peculiar look on your face. I couldn't figure it out and I really, really didn't want to invade her mins to find out what she was think.

Sighing as I waited for her to say what she was going to say* Sorry, I just don't like the fact that they treated you that way before I got here and I don't even wanna know how many times they did that to you. *Taking her hand again and lifting it up to give it a kiss* Tell me how you are feeling since I've healed you. Well, not completely but I healed you so you won't be in as much pain as you were before. To stop the alarms from going off so damn much. *Laughing a little as I waited for you to speak* Sorry I keep talking and you wanted to talk. Tell me what @sarenemelody?

Serenity: *I laughed as you went to the door, looking for them like they be there.* They've stayed away since you roped into them. That's not what I was wanting to talk about any ways. *I waited until you were once again during beside me, I could feel slightly uncomfortable. Hell I was about to bring something up that in any other case might be remotely crazy. But normal was never fun, and we were anything but that.* I feel better, not as much pain. I can handle it more now so they shouldn't be telling to keep drugging me every time I'm awake. Thank you for listening and doing it. *I kept my voice light, to where no one walking by could hear me.* You don't have to keep hiding how bad those dreams, nightmares, whatever you want to call them affect you. I know it's not easy to have to relive it either. *I started fidgeting, almost backing out.* Who was she baby? The one with the shrapnel in her leg? Did she make it? *Oh those questions could have waited and I noticed the way your body stiffened at them.* Before you say anything, you should listen to me. I don't know what, or how but I know. *I reached to put the drink down on the table and took your hand again, looking down at our interlaced fingers.* I saw it sweetheart, the nightmare, I saw it all until you woke us up. @GrumpRen

Ren: *I swallowed hard against the wave of nausea that hit, at you describing one of the scenes I've been reliving in one of the many nightmares I have. I knew my body went rigid as well. The shrapnel just wasn't in her leg as we learned the minute we lifted her up onto a stretcher. There was another piece lodged in her back and in the back of her other leg. It took me a minute before I even looked at you and licked my lips as I shook my head* She didn't make it. There was a lot more damage then we realized and it was too late to help her.

*I looked down at our hands together and realized what must've happened. Thrāix told me this could happen and I just made it worse for her to even see what I deal with on a nightly basis when I did sleep.* I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to see it. *Releasing her hand I got up from the bed and started pacing like I did when I woke up from my nightmares. She never realized it cause she was asleep. It was bad enough I had to deal with it, I didn't need her to see all that shit too.

There was so much fucking death I dealt with and that female was only 21 at the time. Not including the other kid I called a friend as well. Who the fuck am I kidding?!? We were all kids while we were deployed and no one should see what we did.

I looked over at Sare again and shook my head* You don't understand baby, you just don't understand all that we went through. Yeah it wasn't bad all the time but when it got bad it was. *Sighing before I moved back to the chair and sat down as I look at @sarenemelody* I'm so sorry.

Sarenity: *I watched, listened, waited, and stayed patient. I knew that this was something that bothered you. Now add on how I seen just that snippet, a small fraction really, of some of the things you dealt with. My own problems, while big to me (and even you treated them as if it was just as big of a deal for you too) seemed rather small. My heart broke because yes I didn't know or understand. When you sat down I glared at you for putting distance between us.* Ass on this bed Ren. *In waited barely a moment to see if you'd reply or move.* I know that I got to live blissfully unaware of everything you all went through while away from home. The fact that y'all weren't appreciated for the things you have done, and in a way still go through simply because you made a choice to many are chicken shit to do. I'm sorry about your friend I could tell you were close, that all of you were while together over there. But don't go thinking you need to shut me out either. I will smack you update your head with this pillow as hard as I can. Then cus at you for making me hurt myself. *I laughed at my own dumb joke.* You told me before about how this happens, and I told you it would be ok. That each time I knew about you're nightmares we would work through it. I still mean that. One little accidental dream thing is not going to make me run for the hills. Like I could right now anyways. *I smiled and leaned over attempting to kiss your forehead. Before straightening and moving over just a bit.* If you don't need to wear a path into the floor anymore come lay with me. @GrumpRen

Ren: *I was sitting there and completely unsure if I really wanted to risk sending you into one of my nightmares again. Knowing how much they fucked me up to see them like I do when I sleep. I looked at you with a bite to my bottom lip as I was trying to decide what to do. I wanted to sit with you but I was afraid what I would unintentionally share with you again. There was so much I didn't want you know, you've seen too much in that one dream/nightmare.

Yes, they were my friends but they also died while I lived. It's the one thing I hated about it all. They keep telling me that it's survivors guilt and it is something that eats at me all the time.* You only saw a small glimpse of what I deal with. *I know I must be repeating myself to her and I really don't know what else to say........really. This is something I know we talked about before but it's never easy to talk about with someone who has never gone through it.

Giving a small smile* I don't know if I'll ever stop wearing out the floor at night. It's something I got used to doing and I'll try to talk about things more but I make no promises that I'll share everything. *Sighing as I kept myself seated all because I was afraid to share something @sarenemelody didn't need to deal with*

SaRENity: A glimpse is enough, I'm not stupid or blind to what you were feeling while we were both there. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I was only telling you I understood. *My gaze went to the blanket and I began picking at the little fuzz balls here on my lap.* What helps you you should do it. Pacing after one of those dreams, I get it m you have to focus on something to not let it get to you. *My gaze moved to my hand the way it looked still didn't sit right with me. I was trying to not be affected by the fact you stayed put. But sometimes it can't be helped.* If it's not me you take to, find someone who would possibly have a better understanding. So you won't feel so alone about it. That's all I want. *Raising my hand I grabbed the pillow there and swung it. Trying to hit you with it.* You do know point that wall up that you think will help, it's only going to make me more determined to keep it from happening, to keep you close.

So this happened, is it so bad that I can understand a bit more about you and your past? Or are you afraid that I'm just going to run, leave everything we've got, that we've created together? @GrumpRen you can't possibly get rid of me so damn easily.

Ren: *Leans back and avoids the pillow you swung at me before scooting the chair back a little to avoid you from hitting me, if you tried again.* I'm not exactly ready to talk about it babe. I'm just not, not with you and definitely not with anyone else. *Shrugs and sighs again licking my lip and then just looking at the floor. I hated when the fucking tears threatened to fall and I wasn't in not way looking at you like this. I took a few swallows against the tears and blinked them back before looking up again. There was way too much hurt to share with anyone right now.

I closed my eyes for a few and just breathed through the oncoming panic attack I felt about to hit me. I don't even know how long I sat there like that but once I opened my eyes I didn't even bother to look at the time.

I had these happen a lot more than I cared for them to and you never seen me had one or so maybe I don't think you did.* I know I told you they were bad and yes you saw some of it but it's more than that. I'm going to leave it at that, alright @sarenemelody?

SaRENity: I'm not saying now you goofball. I'm not stupid enough to think forcing you to talk will help either. *It almost seemed like everything I said went in one ear and out the other. But it wasn't anything I could control nor my right to argue about.* When you're ready. I'm not going press about it. We can leave it at that. *I sighed and laid back, not having been awake this long since I got here I was feeling worn out but I needed to get my point across. Just how the hell was I going to manage it? That was the question. But just as quickly as I asked that question a answer came to my mind.* Ren, sweetie come here. I want to try something. I promise it's nothing crazy or out there either. *Well for us anyways.* I'm trying to get you to see where I'm standing on this, and how I feel about it. But I think I'm dropping the ball with it though. @GrumpRen

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aconitemare · 5 years

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[jaydick] to all the (D)icks i’ve loved before

JayDick during the famous (first) field scene from To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.

Read it on AO3.

“Are you really going to audition?” Roy asks. He’s got a sheen of sweat across his forehead that’s probably more due to the heat than the exertion on the track field.

“Maybe,” Jason answers. He does actually, one-hundred percent, but he doesn’t feel comfortable sounding committal. “Why not,” he says instead without making it sound like a genuine question. It isn’t.

Roy knows it’s not a question but caring is neither of their strong suits, so he presses. “I dunno’. Doesn’t really seem like you, I guess. Don’t get me wrong,” he switches. His hand reaches out to touch Jason’s shoulder, but it’s been almost an hour of gym outside and his hand misses the mark as they maintain pace. “You’ve got the drama down pat,” he quips. Jason sends him a glare but Roy just snickers. “Maybe, like, if this was Phantom of the Opera-type shit, I’d be like, yeah, that’s you, and I’d be there in the front row telling everyone that the disfigured creep under the basement was my dude, but. A high school performance of Footloose though? That’s some cheesy shit.”

Jason shrugs. Roy isn’t entirely wrong. Jason would’ve joined the drama club last year except their big show was Shrek the Musical. He was tempted to sign up anyway because it’s not like anyone would see a tech on stage, but he really didn’t want to be associated with something that was bound to suck hard. Footloose was comparatively better. He could work with that story.

“You can still sit front row and tell everyone I’m the guy moving props off the stage,” Jason replied.

“Oh, what?” Roy says with his nose scrunching. “You’re not even going to be an actor? Fuck that noise, you should be that dude who fucks the pastor’s daughter.”

“You want me to be Ren McCormack,” Jason supplies.

“Whichever, man; you could tell me the character was named Rhino McJackoff and I’d have to go along with you.”

“Fair enough,” Jason retorts. One of their gym instructors holds out two popsicle sticks as they pass. Roy grabs them both and hands one to Jason. They get a good distance between them and the teacher before they start speaking again because neither are good at censoring their language. Roy has just asked him about Red Dead Redemption 2 when Jason hears his name being shouted.

“Jason! Jason!” Jason turns around to see Dick Grayson jogging towards them. He’s wearing the school’s proper gymnasium uniform, unlike Roy and Jason who both got points deducted for bringing normal gym clothes. GCHS is embroidered in the corner is tiny white lettering. If Dick were to turn around, a cartoonish owl would blink stare hollowly at them.

Neither Jason nor Roy slow their pace so Dick is forced to catch up after he’s caught their attention and maintain speed. “Sup, Dick,” Roy greets, making room for Dick to insert himself between them. This close up, Jason can smell Dick’s shampoo. It’s lighter than he expected, more fresh than spiced like Jason’s cologne.

Dick smiles at Roy and shakes his shoulder. He definitely showed up late to class. Jason knows this not just because he isn’t sweaty like everyone is, but because he missed him during the warm-up. Jason hasn’t liked Dick like that since middle school, but he can admit to himself that he still watches him. He doesn’t think that’s weird or anything because everyone watches Dick — most of all during gym.

“Where’ve you been?” Roy asks easily. Meanwhile, Jason subtly runs a bit farther to the left so he’s not inhaling Dick’s scent with every heavy breath.

“Nurse’s office,” Dick says with a bright grin. “I got into a bit of fender bender this morning. Security guard saw me parking with my bumper torn off and insisted I check in with the nurses while they ratted me out to Bruce.”

Jason remembers Bruce rather well considering he’s only met him once. It was during a birthday party at Wayne Manor for Dick’s younger brother Tim. Bruce was an imposing man who now looms over Jason’s memory of that night. Jason can well imagine Dick crashing his fancy car daddy’s money bought him. Jealousy, not sympathy, clouds Jason’s mood as Roy talks about that sounds rough. Jason hopes he doesn’t mean it so they can talk shit later. But Roy and Dick actually do get along, so he’s probably for real.

“That sucks, Dick, especially on top of stuff with Helena,” Roy seems to commiserate. Jason’s attention perks up here. Helena is Dick’s girlfriend. She’s not the worst person Jason’s ever met, but she’s pretty freaking terrible. They used to be friends in middle school to the point there were rumors about them getting together. Then came the day Helena leaned forward, lashes brushing her cheeks as her lips puckered, and Jason didn’t think, he just confessed. Within a week, Helena had excommunicated Jason from every social circle she touched. Within a week, Jason had to watch his ex-best friend holding hands with the boy he dreamt about.

Helena and Dick had been on-and-off since the advent of high school. Clearly they are off now. Even though Jason holds no hopes for reconciliation with Helena or — delayed wish fulfillment with Grayson, he still eagerly awaits the permanent destruction of a couple that’s tainted much of school for him.

Dick’s expression is uncomfortable after Roy’s comment. Jason lets Dick catch the smirk playing on his lips. Dick takes a deep breath before looking back at Roy and clapping a hand down on Roy’s shoulder with a familiarity that irks Jason. “Hey, we’ll catch up, alright?” promises Dick. “But actually I have something I need to talk to Jason about one-on-one.”

Roy is no stranger to Jason’s tragic backstory regarding Dick Grayson. “Sure thing,” he says dubiously, raising his eyebrows at Jason. For added measure, he waggles them in a way that has both Jason glaring and Dick looking uncomfortable away. Jason opens his mouth slowly because he’s not sure what he wants to say, maybe “wait,” Roy puts a burst of energy into his step until he’s catching up with Wally West who’s already finished the course and is still running for fun.

“Cool dude,” Dick says weirdly.

“Uh, yeah,” says Jason as Dick’s words settle in. I actually have something I need to talk to Jason about one-on-one. What the hell? The most they’ve ever spoken to each other after middle school was while setting up for last year’s homecoming dance. Dick had roped in Kory who roped in Roy who roped in Jason. It was an unfairly good night. Roy fed off Kory’s attention and made Jason laugh so hard he nearly pissed himself several times. Helena had practice all night for her archery league, so Dick was on his own and for whatever reason, he stuck to Jason’s side the whole event.

Jason didn’t let himself think about that night afterwards, but during the moment, Dick had a way of making everything between them feel fresh and new. He hadn’t been weighed down by his private history — a history revolving around Dick that Dick probably didn’t even realize — at all.

“So,” Jason says, toying around with his popsicle sticks as they jog. Without meaning to, Jason has slowed down to Dick’s leisurely walk. “Speak.”

Dick smiles and laughs softly, if a little nervously. He really smiles a lot. Jason wonders how he ever thought Dick was viable partner with his Pollyanna temperament. “Right. Well, here comes the hard part, I guess, right?” Dick asks. Then he seems to wait for Jason to actually dignify that with a response despite it containing no legitimate content to respond to. Dick’s tongue swipes across his bottom lip. He shrugs, smiles. “Here goes,” he says and stops walking altogether. Jason rolls his eyes and stops, although what Dick could possibly say that requires an utter stand-still is beyond him.

Dick’s hand rummages in the pockets of his gym shorts. He pulls out an envelope which he then fiddles with. “I honestly had no idea you felt this way,” Dick begins. Immediately, Jason is on his guard. “I mean, I suppose there were signs and I suppose I ignored them on purpose. Maybe I was wrong to, but it seemed simplest that way, you know, if we just carried on with our own separate lives? What with Helena and me, and you and — someone who’s not in a relationship. Or just freshly out of one, in my case.” Here, Dick chuckled. “You hardly left time for the dust to settle on that one. I actually admire your boldness — for real, it’s refreshing for someone to just lay out all their cards and say, ‘Hey, this is how I feel.’ No dumb high school politics or the proverbial closet, just honesty.”

Jason is barely listening to Dick’s rambling bullshit. His eyes are glued to the envelope that is surely connected to whatever Twilight Zone thing is going down. Dick Grayson is talking to him about feelings and cold dread is rapidly filling Jason like water on the Titanic as he remembers what he did three years ago that can fit inside a tiny envelope.

Dick inches closer, his head tilted slightly upwards as Jason stays staring down at the object in Dick’s hands. “And if I’m also being honest, you wrote things to me that kept me up at night. I don’t think anyone’s ever thought about me that way, about my eyes — well, you know you wrote.”

That’s the last straw, the confirmation Jason needed if not wanted, and he roughly rips the letter out of Jason’s hands. Dick nearly stumbles back in surprise. “I don’t where you got this,” he says, voice low as he glares daggers into Dick’s eyes — blue like clean waters that shimmer in the sun and give life to those desperate for a drink — and steps threateningly into his space. “But it is not yours and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from me and keep everything you read to yourself,” he warns. His embarrassment is bearing down on his shoulders, heating his cheeks and hitting his chest in harsh heartbeats. He stands his ground only because he’s worried the ground might swallow him whole otherwise.

For the second time during gym class, Jason hears his name being called. Jason breaks the intense moment and looks up to see no other than Konnor Kent, Tim’s newly-exxed boyfriend, walking towards him. He’s wearing that leather jacket Jason’s always loved on him and a pair of skin-tight jeans with tons of buckles that should be cringey but instead is just super hot. He’s slighter than Dick although they’re both lean and his thick dark hair curls up at the front rather than lying in a mess of waves like Dick’s. He’s got style to him and although Dick isn’t one to put as much thought into his wardrobe, Jason has to admit now that they’re almost side-by-side that he has a type.

He interrupts his admiration first with the reminder to have a little shame, Konnor is Tim’s, not his, even if they’re not together anymore. His self-flagellation is ended early when he spots a thin piece of paper in Konnor’s leather-clad hands.

Dear Konnor,

Fair warning, what I’m about to tell you is wrong. But that’s why I have to say it. Because if I keep it to myself and refuse to acknowledge what’s between us, then I’ll always feel that way. But if I get it out all on paper now, then I can come to terms with the fact that you’re not mine. You can’t ever be mine.

Jason went on like for five pages, front and back. And now Jason’s heart is on Konnor’s sleeve. Tim just left him and Jason is swooping in for the kill like a vulture. What if Konnor has already told Tim? What if Tim is the one who found these letters? Did he send one to Dick as revenge for his feelings towards Konnor? Would Tim be that petty?

Yes. Tim would absolutely be that petty.

Konnor is almost closing the distance. “Jason, I need to talk to you,” he calls out. Jason honestly cannot handle this. He can’t handle the repercussions of his letter reaching Konnor, let alone of them discussing the letter. Konnor either came here to reject him or, or — to not, and he can’t say which would be worse. Over the years, Jason has landed himself into some pretty risky scenarios from foolhardy adventures, but never has he felt this panicky before.

Konnor is only a few yards away. Jason’s mind has cleared of all things except: I cannot talk to him.

Jason’s body has a solution for this. Jason’s body does not at all consult Jason’s head when it throws itself at Dick Grayson. One hand cups the back of Dick’s neck while the other grabs his arm. Dick isn’t expecting Jason’s full weight and when Jason’s foot slides between his, Dick goes tumbling backwards. The two fall to the ground in tandem but Jason doesn’t break the kiss. He’s vaguely aware of Dick’s little yelp, but he’s more keen on the plush of his lips and the smell of his shampoo. Dick’s chest is solid beneath his. Jason moves just enough to take some of the weight off him, his hand lifting Dick’s neck for a better angle.

Jason’s name is shouted a third time. “Todd, get off him!” he hears an instructor bark. Jason has an arm on either side of Dick’s shoulders as he looks up to see Mr. Queen running towards them, popsicle sticks in hand. Jason gazes down at Dick whose eyes are blown wide and staring straight into Jason’s, lips gently parted.

Jason gets off the boy he’s just tackled. Mr. Queen is asking him what’s wrong with you but Jason is busy watching Konnor’s retreating form. Mr. Queen demands Dick and Jason go to the principal's office. Jason’s head whips around to the teacher. “No, sir, don’t do that,” he nearly begs. He can hear Dick push himself to his feet but he’s stubbornly not looking at him. He doesn’t think he can ever look at Dick again, actually, which is a pity since it’s one of his pastimes. “It’s on me, sir, I tackled him.”

“Yeah, I can fucking tell!” Mr. Queen snaps. Unforeseen, Roy and Wally have lapped around to the three of them. Roy grabs two popsicle sticks, says “dude,” and keeps going. Jason glares until Wally stops rubbernecking.

“Dick can stay. I’ll find my way to the principal’s,” Jason says. He’s relieved when Mr. Queen merely says, “I’ll be checking,” because Jason would die on the spot if he had to then walk with Dick and sit next to him as he explained why exactly he bodyslammed Gotham City High’s sweetheart and planted one on him for all gym class.

Jason shoves his popsicle sticks into Mr. Queen’s hands, still ignoring Dick as he turns on his heels and gets the hell out of there.

#jaydick #jason todd #dick grayson #dc #fanfiction for the void

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ripleyvansant · 5 years

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LOCATION: Target / Downtown Palmetto DATE: November 25th TIME: 6:25 PM TRIGGERS: homophobia, transphobia, depression, panic attack (mention) addiction MENTIONS: @cadxmitchell, @nguyenalanna, @jenbrookhart, @inoahthingor2, @caseyhxndrix, @averyneel CLOSED

The car ride back to Palmetto had felt much more lengthy and somber than it had on the way there. Ripley practically sprung from the car as soon as they’d arrived back on campus, even if they’d dropped Casey and Neel off first, he’d gotten out of the car and walked around campus for a bit because Ripley didn’t want to be alone around Cade, even if Alanna was technically there too. He didn’t entirely know what to say anymore, since Cade couldn’t help him figure his current problem out and it was something that he wanted to do on his own. He decided to go for a drive for a little bit before heading back to campus. If he was out, he might as well make the best of it and he pulled into Target to grab a few things he needed. The place was bustling with students who had come back from their breaks and were trying to stock up on supplies as well, but Ripley ignored them as he wandered the aisles in a daze. His phone buzzed and he jumped. Unknown number. Great.

“Hello?” he answered, hoping it wasn’t Marshall.

“Hey. It’s Etta. I, uh, drove down to see you. To talk. Before I went back to work. Are you... busy?”

“No, I...” Ripley bit down on his lip. “I’m just at Target. I... can meet you, in half an hour? Downtown. There’s an antique shop. It’s... probably closed, but... there’s a bench in front of it.”

“Oh... okay. Yeah, that works. See you soon.”

“Yeah... see you... in a bit.” Ripley hung up the phone and pushed the cart in front of him. He didn’t know why Etta had decided to drive three hours out of her way to see him before going to New York, which was the complete opposite direction. But Ripley wasn’t going to tell her no when she’d come all this way to see him. He quickly checked out and headed downtown, parking the car and walking to the spot he told Etta he’d meet her. For a moment, Ripley nervously thought maybe she was in on Marshall being around the family and wondered if he should just leave before Marshall showed up. But then he spotted her walking up hand in hand with Ren. Ripley smiled, hiding the jealous feeling in his stomach because Etta looked so happy and he wasn’t happy at all.

“Hi,” she said, awkwardly. “I, uh, can I sit?”

“Sure.” Ripley looked around. An ambush could technically still happen,. He hoped Etta wasn’t dumb enough to do that. “Hey, Ren. How are you?”

“Great. And you?”

“I’m... surviving,” he responded with a shrug. It was difficult to lie to family, considering he’d basically refused to go home for the holiday; they had to know something was up. Ripley didn’t think he could claim being perfectly fine.

“That’s good. I’m gonna go grab a coffee while you two talk. I’ll be back in a moment,” Ren told them and then started walking down the sidewalk. Ripley watched them look back for a second, then continue on.

They sat in silence for a moment. He had no idea why she’d even come here, so he didn’t know what he should say. Ripley watched Etta for a moment. She looked like she had no idea what she wanted to say. He could always tell when Etta was thinking because she had this look on her face. The same look she had on her face now. Ripley wished he knew what was going on in her mind.

“So, um, are you really doing okay?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Of course not,” Ripley scoffed. “I feel like I wasn’t included in the decision to have a shitty person around -- who has now, on multiple occasion, made me uncomfortable -- and I... feel like shit for not being there because I love you all so much. And I spent my entire break with my roommate’s family and they were so nice, but it wasn’t the same. I spent half the time thinking I made the right decision and the other half thinking about how crappy of a sibling I was for leaving you all alone with that asshole.”

“If it makes you feel better, we didn’t have a good time.”

“Marshall’s Instagram posts didn’t make it seem that way.”

“Yeah, well... he wanted to make it seem like we were having a good time, but it was awkward. I think only Pip was having fun. And da--Marshall refused to acknowledge that mom and momma were actually married. He kept referring to Ren as my roommate. I thought Kora was going to fight him on my behalf. Hedwig kept trying to leave to go to a friend’s house. I was really bad.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you. I should have known he wa...” he trailed off, feeling a tightness in his chest at just the thought of seeing his dad again. “I...”

“Ripley, no. That’s not... it’s not healthy to think like that. You look like you’re about to panic. Come here. What’s wrong?” Etta’s expression showed concern and she held out her arms.

“I don’t know.” Ripley leaned forward, letting his sister’s arms embrace him in a tight hug. It wasn’t as good as hugs from his moms, but it was close enough. Etta always did know how to calm him down. “I thought coming to Palmetto would be helpful, but I’m struggling more than I think I should be. Sometimes I can’t even get out of bed and I... I am so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid. Depression runs in the family, kiddo. You should talk to someone. Do you have a therapist here? Or a friend?”

“I have Cade. But sometimes it’s difficult to talk to him because I have a stupid crush on him. And I mean there’s also Noah and Jen, but I don’t talk to either of them with important things. Or, I have talked to Jen about important things once over a text conversation. I don’t think that counts.” Ripley hugged Etta tighter. “Only Cade knows everything and he doesn’t know everything everything.”

“Shhhh. It’s okay,” she rubbed his back. “This might be difficult to hear, but you need a support system here. Not just one or two people. You know that’s why you’re struggling.”

“I’m planning to send an email to the school therapist for an appointment this week. I just... I’m afraid of opening up to people. They’re not like you or moms. They don’t have to like me. I don’t want to be known as the addict.”

“Ripley, if people aren’t weirded out by your inability to shut your mouth about cryptids or that you wore a dress to Halloween -- don’t give me that look, I follow you on Instagram --, then they won’t judge you based off anything else. Even if you say Cade doesn’t know everything everything -- which, I don’t even know what that means -- then maybe you should tell him everything.”

“He doesn’t know about the panic attack.”

“What panic attack?”

“Nothing.”

“Ripley Daniel Van Sant, what panic attack?”

“I panicked when Marshall tagged me in that photo. I don’t know why.”

“I don’t believe you. You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?”

“This... is just something I have to figure out on my own. I’m still trying to figure out who I am when I’m not trying to absorb myself into a multitude of different groups. I know I can tell you anything. I just need more time to figure this all out myself.”

“Okay. Hey, uh, Ren wanted to go to their parents this year for Christmas. Do you want me to see if they’ll let you tag along if moms end up letting Marshall come? I know you’ll probably want to see moms, I just thought I’d offer.”

“Possibly. I think it depends on if Pip’s going to be there or not.”

“Just let me know,” she reached out and ruffled his hair. “Don’t think I mentioned this yet, but I like the hair.”

“Really? Do you think it’ll go with the orange uniform?” Ripley laughed. “Cade has blue hair.”

“Oh, then he really is your type,” Etta teased. “Does he also wear hipster clothing and write poetry?”

“Shut up. I’m gonna go find Ren and tell them you slept with a nightlight until you were fourteen,” he teased back and then stood up. Ripley waited for Etta to follow suit and then hooked arms with her to walk in the direction that Ren had gone. Out of all his siblings, he was glad Etta had decided to come down to visit. He missed all of them and her visit just reminded him that he missed home. Etta probably would never know just how happy this visit made him. Hearing it from a family member finally made him realize that he did need to talk to a therapist and it was time he made a few changes to his lifestyle.

#unnecessarily lengthy sibling bonding #homophobia tw #transphobia tw #depression tw #panic attack tw #addiction mention tw #self para.#self para / 004.

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thelastjaedi · 6 years

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Disputing the “Reylo is Abusive” Argument (pt 3)

Part I || Part II || Part III

The last two parts of this was focused on scenes from TFA. Now I will be moving onto TLJ.

For some background information—After the events of TFA, Kylo has been receiving medical treatment for the wound Rey inflicted across his face. He will wear the scar forever, and I want to point out that he is not resentful or seeking revenge on Rey for this. As you will see later on in the text, he is more bothered by her calling him a monster. He never once brings up his scar to her. Below is the first time they interact in TLJ—the first Force Bond scene.

It’s important to note that it was Rey who initiated aggression first. A reoccurring theme it would seem. AND AGAIN—she’s justified in this because they are enemies on opposite sides of a war and their last interaction would obviously result in aggression upon their next encounter.

But I want to point out that Kylo Ren does not act with aggression. Instead, he extends his hand and attempts to extract Luke’s location. This is more passive than aggressive. He does not try to kill her or even attack her like she does him—he’s only concerned about getting Skywalker’s location. And that continues to be his goal moving forward until he shifts to another goal which I will touch on later. But what’s more interesting is that, once he realizes that he cannot use his force probe, he tries to understand what’s occurring between them. He begins interacting with her as if she were his partner— wanting her to help him solve this mystery. He looses all hostility and tries to work out an explanation with her. It is Rey who continues the hostility (and she has every reason to).

In the second force bond, it is once again Rey who acts with hostility. He is described with having “detached curiosity”. Now this is the first time his focus shifts to his new goal—defending himself and giving his side of the story. While he still wants to know where Luke is, his attention slowly begins to focus more on having Rey understand him as the Force Bonds progress. And notice how he points out the look in her eyes when she called him a monster—NOT once exhibiting a desire for revenge. He seems more hurt than anything. Especially with what happens next:

In this context, this does not seem absuive. And I don’t think it was written or played to be manipulative either. The purpose of this dialogue is to show there is more to Kylo Ren’s character than we originally thought. That something more is going on here. Kylo Ren has been nothing but honest with her so far, and he continues to be moving forward.

While he tries to deflect and dodge her questions at first, she eventually gets him to talk. He tells her that he did NOT hate his father. And I do not think he did. I think Kylo genuinely loved his parents, but he felt inadequate and neglected—and had Snoke taking advantage of these feelings since he was a toddler. One of the most infuriating arguments people have against Kylo is that he comes from a loving and perfect family, and should therefore not feel this way—that he has no reason to. And that if he is so powerful in the force, he should be able to resist Snoke and know better than to turn to the Dark Side. That there’s nothing stopping him from doing the right thing. Once again, this is oversimplifying his character and honestly a severe inability to empathize. Not to mention a complete lack of understanding of this character. Han and Leia were both important figures in their faction and were very busy with their positions—especially Leia. And both were not equipped to deal with a child like Ben. For one, he was very powerful in the force, and that paired with Snoke’s presence, they thought the best thing for him was giving him to Luke. To ben who only wanted to be a pilot like his father—Who overheard his parents talking about him as if he were a monster—it’s easy to see why he felt neglected and abandoned (Provided you are able to empathize and seek to understand another person despite your own opinions).

This is why he is so genuinely curious as to why Rey does not understand him—he has seen her memories and knows that her parents “threw her away like garbage”. He feels like they have this in common, and is genuinely perplexed as to why she doesn’t feel the same way as he does. But while they are kindred spirits when it comes to their feelings of abandonment and neglect, they differ in how they dealt with those feelings. Ben abandoned all hope and became the monster everyone thought he was, and is determined to destroy the past which has caused him so much pain. Rey fabricated her own reality, believing her own lie that her parents would come back for her in order to keep her hope alive—she can’t stop living in the past and continues to let her desire for parents consume her.

He tells her his side of the story, and she can tell he is telling the truth—that he is not trying to deceive her. And this is only confirmed when Luke finally admits the truth to her after she confronts him.

None of what has happened thus far is contextually abusive. Yes, she is uncomfortable with the force bond and having to interact with this person she sees as a threat. But whether you like it or not, the entire point of the force bond (from a storytelling perspective) is to allow her and Kylo to talk to one another. To allow her and the audience to see that there’s more to Kylo Ren. And to eventually allow Rey and the audience to relate to him, or at the very least, empathize with him. And Rey begins to do just that moving into the third force bond. And if you as the audience cannot, then that’s unfortunate. Because that’s the entire point, and you’re missing it due to your prejudices.

The third and final force bond shows that Rey has begun to have compassion for him—has become able to empathize with him. And maybe she is beginning to understand him. She goes to him because she knows that he will understand her loneliness. She feels relief when he shows up. She considers touching him—and I absolutely hate the argument that she’s deeply uncomfortable with touching him and is being forced to by their bond—NO. That is not at all what is happening. He comforts and reassures her, telling her she’s not alone. And I’m return, she offers the same courtesy to him. Not because she’s forced to, but because she WANTS to. She finally feels kinship with him due to their shares feelings of abandonment and loneliness. She reaches out to him in an act of comfort and reassurance. And he removes his glove and offers his hand in response. And they both see a shared future—one where they are TOGETHER—standing with each other. This vision is enough to drive Rey to ATTACK Luke. Enough to drive her to go to the Supremecy to bring him back. It’s enough to convince him to kill his master in order to protect her and secure the future he sees with her.

And yes, his plead for her to join him was messed up—but it is honest and genuine. He was NOT trying to manipulate her. In fact, the scene in the thrown room when he becomes frustrated that she’s “still hanging on” is the ONLY TIME he raises his voice at her. The only case that can MAYBE be considered abusive. And given the context—it still arguably not abusive.

And I do believe this comes from a good place, although he’s a severely damaged individual and does not present his intentions well at all. He wants her to MOVE ON from the lie she desperately holds on to. He wants her to be with him and start a new future where they’ll never feel alone again. And while that’s unhealthy and she NEEDED to reject him in order to move the story forward into IX, it was not his intention to manipulate her.

And I also want to point out that she extends her hand to him, acting as though she is about to take his hand before she pulls the legacy lightsaber from him. Which is very sneaky and deceitful LOL—Once again it is Rey who initiates conflict. And I think that is what ultimately triggered him and is what lead to his meltdown on Crait. And no, it is definitely not an excuse for his behavior on Crait. But Kylo Ren still has a lot of growth to do as a character—he’s still severely flawed and broken. And he’s still the villain—just a complicated one.

But I think he will get his shit together for the finale. Rey rejecting him was the right thing to do, and it is how the story AND Kylo’s development will move forward. It’s up to him to make the conscious decision to change for the better and redeem himself if that’s where the story is heading.

(Part 3: end)

#reylo #reylo thoughts #star wars #sw meta #sw theories

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