#roceit fanfic

[roseianxiety]

All wrapped up by the fireplace

Ship: Romantic Roceit

Content Warnings: Mentions of alcohol usage, drunkenness, foul language, slight innuendo

Synopsis: Roman has some alone time with himself after their little Christmas Eve celebration, but a certain drunken snake approaches him and ruins his peace. At least that's what he thinks.

AO3

“Roman, is it really necessary for you to turn the living room into THIS?” 

Logan queries loudly as he gestures to the living room, now completely covered in Christmas decor and where their TV stood was now replaced with a grand brick fireplace. Roman really put a lot of effort into all this grandiosity.

“Yes, Logan, it is necessary.” Roman drawled out as he gave Logan a look while hanging the last ornament on the Christmas tree. He then added, hopping off his little stool. “You'd really expect ME to NOT go all out on Christmas?” he remarked at Logan.

Logan merely sighs and rolls his eyes, making his way towards his recliner chair. “I shouldn't have expected less from you and Patton when it comes to celebrating festivities,” he stated, gently sitting down and opening up one of the newspapers Virgil gave him. 

Roman hums proudly before strutting to the kitchen to check on whatever Patton was working on.

“Hey, Popstar, how's the baked goods doing there?” Roman questions cheerily from across the counter, propping his palm under his chin while he watches Patton do his thing.

Patton turns around, slightly surprised at Roman's sudden appearance but then giggles. “Oh hey ya, kiddo, didn't see you there.”. He continued, pulling out a tray of gingerbread man cookies out of the oven. “I'm almost done with the last batch. Careful, they're very hot.”.

He says before placing the tray down on the countertop to let it cool. Roman immediately reaches for one but hisses in pain and pulls his hand back when he burns himself with the piping-hot cookies. “Ow…”.

Patton tuts and shakes his head at Roman's impulsiveness, “I did tell you they're hot. You saw me take them out of the oven just now.”. He reaches to take Roman's hand but the other declines and pulls away. 

“Nah, it's okay. This burn is far from reaching my intestines anyway, so I'm cool. I was merely excited to taste your fantastic cookies, Padre.” Roman shrugs and moves to try and take one but Patton gently slaps his hand away. The creative prince pouts at that.

“No no, they're still piping hot. And, we still have to wait for the last batch before we can finally eat all of these.” Patton states with a raised chin, trying to seem authoritative but he looks silly and cute. Don't tell him that.

“Bummer,” Roman mutters with a pout before sighing. He straightens (ha!) his posture and stretches his arms over his head, turning on his heels. “Anyways, you better continue that while I go check whatever chaos Remus is doing. Don't want him ruining my party.”.

He says as he makes his way back to the living room. As he does so, he could see Virgil hissing aggressively at Remus while his twin brother was teasing the crap out of the anxious facet.

“Come on, take him! He's Mr. Fuzzy’s boyfriend!” Remus exclaimed, trying to give another handcrafted hairball abomination to Virgil who was desperately trying to get away from him. And Janus was there, laughing his drunk ass off by the sidelines.

Virgil notices Roman walking towards them and immediately calls for him while trying to stop Remus from getting close to him. “Roman! Come get your unhinged brother!” He exclaimed, before hissing at Remus.

“Hi, Roman~” Janus giggles drunkenly as he gives Roman a small. Geez… he really was drunk. Roman chooses to ignore him.

“Sorry Virgil but you're gonna have to deal with him yourself.” Roman hums, raising his hands in defense. Virgil groans at his response, now more annoyed. Remus then pushes the hairball abomination right at Virgil's face, causing the other to yelp.

Roman leaves them be and walks towards the couch, plopping just beside Logan who was engrossed with his puzzle thing or whatever it was. He tried to take a peek at it only for his face to scrunch up in confusion, not understanding one bit of it. Roman didn't what was so interesting about it but eh, at least Logan was having the time of his life.

He leans back on the couch while he watches as the fire crackles in the fireplace, emitting a cozy warmth that he always loved. Roman might now admit it out loud but he loved enjoying his Christmas with everyone. It’s good not to be alone.

“To be honest, I didn't think Remus would be this… tame when he is drunk. How surprising.” Logan comments as looks down at Remus on the floor before sipping on his wine. The chaotic individual was currently splayed out on the living room floor, already deadbeat asleep.

Patton carefully takes the empty mug from Remus’ grasp, trying not to wake him up. “So alcohol is just the way to calm him down?” He says, letting out a soft yelp when Remus grumbles and pulls the mug away from him, hugging it close. Patton frowns and leans back on the couch but not before grabbing two cookies from the snack platter.

“You know, it's already late and I already feel the spirit of Christmas welling up inside me. And by that, I mean vomit. Merry Christmas y'all, I'm gonna go bury myself in the comforts of my blankets.” Virgil suddenly says as he gets up from his usual place on the couch before sinking out, not letting anyone say a word.

Logan proceeds to check the time on his wristwatch. “Virgil is right, it is past twelve and my bedtime schedule. Merry Christmas everyone. Be sure to sleep well.” He says in a monotone, glancing at the rest of them. He then leaves as well, following right after Virgil.

“Aww geez, everyone's going to sleep now. I'm starting to feel eepy too. So sorry your party didn't go the way you wanted it to, Roman.” Patton apologizes with a small frown as he looks at the princely trait but Roman waves it off.

“It's quite alright, Patton, I am not easily upset at something so trivial.” He says casually, getting up from his spot on the couch and beginning to stretch his arms, hearing satisfying pops from his joints. “You go ahead and rest your adorable self, I'll deal with all the mess here.” Roman then added.

“Are you sure? I can help you—”

Roman immediately cuts Patton off before he can even continue his sentence, “Shush, Patton. I can handle this. You've been dozing off a lot, it's best for you to rest.”.

“Plus, I've still got a pump of adrenaline in me so I'm not that tired yet. I'm gonna spend all that leftover energy cleaning all of this.” He chuckles, trying to reassure the fatherly figure.

“Oh…if you say so. But don't forget to rest too. Merry Christmas, kiddo! I love you!” Patton exclaims before throwing himself on Roman, giving the other a tight, warm hug. Roman smiles fondly, hugging the other back. Eventually, Patton sinks out and returns to his room.

When Patton left, Roman immediately started his work. He cleaned all of the junk left in the living room, from the torn gift wrappers to the various cookie crumbs lying around. Roman resorted to carrying Remus onto the couch, Remus might not be the physically built one between them but God, was he heavy. 

He continued to clean the living room and even cleaned the kitchen as well, making sure there wasn't any mess left in the morning. After half an hour or so, he was finally done.

He makes a little nest out of pillows and blankets by the fireplace before situating himself in his creation. Even after all that cleaning, he still wasn't tired. And he couldn't think of anything to do. So why not look at fire instead?

Janus stumbles down from the stairs, drunk as fuck. He was planning to get some water but his eyes landed on something by the fireplace. Or more likely, someone.

“My my, what's our beloved prince doing here all by himself?”

Roman suddenly snaps his head back as soon as he hears that all too familiar sultry voice. His eyes narrow at the very presence of his archenemy. Janus was making his way towards him, while almost tripping on his own feet. He clearly was still not sober.

“What do you want, Janus? I'm not exactly in the mood to deal with you right now.” Roman groaned before turning back to the fireplace, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What? Am I not allowed to be in the living room? I just wanna get warm.” Janus huffs before plopping down beside the prince, causing the other's face to scrunch up more in frustration and annoyance. Roman scoots away from him and avoids meeting his gaze. He crosses his arms further, a big pout already forming on his lips. 

There was a big silence between them, and Roman liked it that way. Heck, he even forgot Janus was there beside him in the first place. Out of annoyance and trying to avoid the other, he got distracted by watching the fire slowly move and crackle in an intricately artistic dance. Not until Janus said the most out-of-pocket thing ever which ruined the vibe.

“You know, you could've done other things to warm me up than buy me socks.”

Those. Those were the very words that ruined his perfectly good vibes. Because what the actual fuck!?

“W-what? No!” Roman remarked quickly in sheer embarrassment, his whole face as red as his sash. Now why did Janus have to say that?!

Janus only tilted his head at him, staring at him innocently for a few minutes before letting out a sadistic cackle, making Roman turn red. “I'm just messing with you, Roman.”.

He then stops momentarily, batting his eyelashes at Roman as he bites his lips suggestively. “Unless you want to…”.

Roman's whole face immediately burned up like the fire in the fireplace. For some random reason, the way Janus was saying that in a low and sultry voice while biting his lip was absolutely sending him. Jesus Christ on a stick, it was not the right time to be a gay mess.

“How many bottles of wine have you drunk today?” Roman queries, gently gripping Janus' face as he tries to look for any sign of sobriety.

“Just a bit. Like, three or four bottles. I don't know, I forgot. Silly me.” Janus giggles, looking up at Roman with a drunken gaze, his whole face dusted in pink. Okay, but truth be told, he was quite cute when he was not up to something devious. Not that Roman would admit it.

“Geez, you're so drunk right now. You need to go back to your room and sleep.” Roman clicked his tongue before letting go of Janus, causing the other to slump forward against him.

The deceitful facet whined, clinging close to him. “I'm not drunk! I am very sober as you can see. Iz jus very very cold… hmm, you're warm.” he grumbled lowly, nuzzling close to Roman. The creative prince was having second thoughts if he should push Janus away or let him cuddle with him, he's still not on good terms with Janus after all and the latter was drunk.

“Even while drunk you still have the gall to lie.” Roman scoffs with a roll of his eyes.

“So warm… you are like a walking furnace. Very warm. I like warmth.” Janus babbled, not wanting to let go of Roman. The other could do nothing but grimace, having no choice but to let Janus cling to him like a koala bear.

“Not gonna lie, you're sorta cute when you're drunk. And pretty annoying too.” Roman commented, glancing at Janus for a moment.

“Awww, you think I'm cute AND pretty, Roman? Do you like meeee?”

The creative trait could feel his cheeks heat up at Janus' bold words. He tries to hide his blush by averting his gaze from Janus while his heart begins to ram against his ribcage.

“No way! I-I meant pretty annoying! Nothing else.” Roman exclaims in defense but Janus merely chuckles at him, clearly not convinced with his answer. And of course, Janus doesn't stop taunting him.

“Then why are you blushing?~” Janus teases as he reaches to grab Roman's face, urging the other to look at him. 

“I'm not!”

“You so are.”

Roman let out a frustrated groan and covered his face. Janus was going to be the death of him if he didn't stop teasing him. He wanted to rip out his hair and scream. Roman took back what he said, Janus was not cute when he was drunk, more like annoying.

“By the way, how did you know I'm cold-blooded? I never truly told anyone that.” Janus wonders, seemingly having calmed down from his amusement. Roman glances at him, slightly caught off guard by his question.

Roman thinks for a moment, he didn't think of the possibility that Janus might ask that question. When he got Janus for Secret Santa, his first plan was to give him something shitty like a passive-aggressive letter but he scrapped that because he might seem like too much of an asshole. So he went for something useful. He may or may not have done some research for Janus' gift.

“I just assumed because you're a snake and all,” Roman muttered, still refusing to look at Janus at the fear that the other would tease the crap out of him or if his heart would fully jump out of his chest. “They're not that special, just some pair of yellow socks.”.

“I like them though, they're yellow and keep my feet warm.” Janus hums happily before raising one of his feet up to show off his cool new socks, then wiggles his toes a bit just to fuck with Roman. The princely facet gave him a disgusted look but it quickly melted away into a hearty laugh.

“Didn't expect you'd wear them immediately. Thought you might throw it away because it does not match your ‘Disney Villain’-esque aesthetic.” Roman chuckles softly. Janus smiles at him, a sincere and genuine one at that.

Roman wanted to admit it, but Janus was growing on him. He had never seen this side of him before when he was sober. He was less villainy and scheme-y, although Janus still got that sass and all. Yet it was his first time seeing him smile so genuinely. It was a fresh sight to see.

Their eyes suddenly met for a moment, the both of them could feel a quick spark of electricity as soon as their gaze landed on each other. Roman could only watch as Janus slowly leaned closer toward him, almost climbing on his lap. 

They stare at each other intently, not knowing what will happen. Roman's gaze moved from Janus' eyes down to his lips, then back up, before gulping softly. There was a pregnant pause between them, but it was broken when Janus leaned forward, closing the gap between them.

Sparks fly as their lips collide in a kiss, likening it to a fireworks display. All the background noises seemed to quiet down behind them, only the loud thumps of their passionate hearts that seemed to jump out of their chests could be heard. Roman only stared at Janus in shock as he sat there, frozen. His brain was still processing what was happening. 

But before he could, Janus suddenly pulled away. 

“I love you…” He mutters against Roman's lips before moving away to rest his head on the prince’s shoulder.

Then it finally clicked to Roman. He snapped out of his trance and immediately reached to touch his lips with his fingers, trying to feel the bits of the presence of Janus' kiss as his whole face warmed up. Janus kissed him and confessed to him… Janus…kissed…him

.

.

.

.

.

.

JANUS KISSED HIM!

The realization dawned upon him like being hit with a ten-wheeler truck. Did this mean Janus liked him all this time?! No… no, that can't be the case, right? He was drunk. That cannot be true… right? But it did seem genuine.

He was about to question Janus when he realized the other had already fallen asleep while lying on his shoulder. Really? He just kissed Roman and gave him a dilemma then went to sleep!

Roman let out a groan, mentally slapping himself on the face. He did not want his Christmas to start with him overthinking about this. After a long while, he lets out a long sigh, choosing to accept his reality. Maybe Janus did like him. But does he like him back?

He glances at Janus once more, observing his features. Huh, his scales were interesting up close. They shine like emeralds. A small smile creeps up on Roman's lips while he watches Janus sleep peacefully, he really is stunning.

Janus suddenly shudders in his sleep, clinging more to Roman. The personification of creativity notices this and decides to pull the other closer, basically letting his archenemy cuddle him. Roman looks around for the blankets until he finds one, draping it around him and Janus, hoping that would shield them from the chilly breeze.

Roman then queries softly, “Still cold?”. 

Janus then unconsciously shakes his head as a response while he nuzzles the other. The creative facet chuckles softly, wrapping his arms around Janus to keep him warm.

He continues to observe the other for a few moments, watching as he softly breathes and snore. It was cute. This could be good blackmail material for Janus, but Roman wasn't exactly in the mood. All he wanted to do right now was admire him. Roman then whispers to him, pressing a gentle kiss on Janus’ forehead. 

“I love you too, Janus.”

-----------------------------------

Writing Taglist: @cutebisexualmess @extraintrovertedalien (please tell me if you want to be added or removed in the tag list)

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #tss fanfic #roman sanders #roman sanders sides #janus sanders #janus sanders sides #roceit #roceit fanfic #roceit fanfiction #ts roceit #romantic roceit #alcohol cw #tw all caps

[shsl-fander]

Forbidden Love

Synopsis: Janus has loved Roman for years now, but he had to sacrifice that love for a plan with the dark sides which includes betraying Roman amd getting together with Remus.

Pairing: Roceit

Tw: Crying, Janus angst, Unrequited Love, one moment mentions pinning up against walls which can be taken as romantic or sexual.

Him. It was always him from the start. There was always one boy that always caught Janus's eye, the boy that made him stumble on his words ; the one person who could only ever get the snarky Deceit to act soft ; even if it was when Janus was alone thinking about said boy. His charming smile, his beautiful shimmering green eyes, soft singing voice, everything about him. Roman.

Yet, he couldn't have him. It wouldn't work, it would mess up the whole plan. He had to betray Romam, that was how things worked ; he was Deceit.

Janus squeezed his blanket tighter towards himself, tears burned his scaled cheek as they continued to fall, staining his eyes. A few sobs left him, as he burried himself farther into his sheets and blankets. The lump in his throat tightened as a few sobs left him, puddles of tears on his blankets. God, he hated being like this. It wasn't like him, especially after he had so successfully tricked someone!

A loud knock snapped Janus out of his trance, he jumped, hissing angrily at the door. "Do you mind Remusss?!" he exclaimes defensively, voice cracking. He heard haunting laugh from the other side of the door.

"Oh come on Jan! Cheer up! You did great, sure my bro's hurt but, you got Patton and Thomas to trust ya. Betraying Ro was part of the plan," Remus reminded him, bouncing on his feet. "You should be proud of yourself, you usually are. "

Janus grumbled miserably ; Remus didn't understand. When you fall in love, that doesn't just go away. Especially, when he had loved Roman since they were kids, when Roman didn't even really know him. He wasn't sure if Remus had even been in love before, even if he had ; he clearly wasn't understanding.

He knew this wasn't everything, he knew he was meant to marry Remus if everything they wanted to do could be done. The problem was he was in love with Remus's brother, and nothing could be done about that.

At first the days dragged by, every hour feeling ten times longer than it actually was, every moment Janus saw Roman he was replied with uncomfortable glances, glares, and just genuine rivalry ; and it hurt. He knew it was deserved, but it hurt. Eventually, weeks started to go by,then months, and Janus avoided Roman as much as he could. When he had to see Patton to gain his trust he made sure to dodge any opportunity to be in Roman's presence.

His heart ached, he yearned for am opportunity to be with Roman. He wanted to tilt the prince's head up, before leaning in and connecting their lips together ; kiss him until they could barely breath. Pin Roman up against the wall and watch the prince trip and stumble on his words, watching him blush. He wanted to run his fingers through roman's hair as they listened to showtunes together, the two had more in common than either liked to admit, and theatre was one of those things. Roman saw himself as a hero, Janus was more of a villian; and yet somehow that only drew him too Roman more.

Sooner than Janus wanted, he knew he had to be engaged to Remus ; it was his plan, yet he didn't think he'd end up regretting it this much. Was loyalty to the dark sides worth this much? Was their plan against the others, mainly leading up to what orange was going to do, really worth it? To sacrifice the first real love Janus had felt since Virgil left years ago.

"Janussss, Jan? Janny are you okay?"

Janus blinked, the voice of a certain moral side jolting him back to reality, he jumped, clearing his throat. "Ahem, Yes?" he said, hoping Patton hadn't asked something important.

Patton giggled, smiling widely,"I heard you recently got engaged to Remus! How are you feeling?" He asked curiously.

Oh. Right. That. "Oh- yeah. Great, happiest I've ever been!" Janus insisted with a hiss, at least he was used to lying.

He knew it'd never be how he dreamed. The love he yearned so strongly for. All he had were his dreams, his heart ache, and the guilt. The hope that one day, maybe at least Roman could forgive him.

That would be enough.

Word Count: 762

#roceit #roceit fanfic #ts sides fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #roceit fanfiction #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #hurt no comfort #angst #janus angst #janus sanders #roceit angst #Roman sanders

[dotemakesthings]

forgotten but not gone

(please be gentle, y’all, this is the first public fic I’ve posted since basically… ever)

inspired by/remix of the cursed light by datfearlessfangirl

okay, so.

the first Split was relatively harmless, believe it or not. it separated out Remus and Roman, sure, but the sides all still lived together and cared about each other.

as a teen/young adult, the sides were in cutesy little pairs.

Janus and Roman, the theater gays.

Virgil and Logan, the couple that considers sitting silently in a room together with headphones on a romantic activity.

and Remus and Patton, the chaotic powerhouses who love nothing more than making messes in the kitchen and screaming I-love-you’s from across the house.

but then

the second split.

it was a crisis of morality and identity on Thomas’s part

so intense that it ripped the mindscape in two

the “acceptable” sides simply got their memories wiped, starting from scratch

while the dark sides were locked away and hurt.

now, neither side knew about the others and the effect it had on them

so when the light sides saw a closet oozing with Bad Feelings, they felt it best to investigate for the good of Thomas

and they were greeted with monsters.

Remus, screaming out horrific imagery and banging his head raw and bloody against the wall

Virgil, spiraling into such a bad panic attack that the shadows around him were lashing out without him realizing

and Janus, fangs and all six arms out, who uncontrollably lied about how they were useless here, how they weren’t wanted, they needed to get out, ssssstupid little sides

the lights screamed

and ran out

the darks chased them

because, here’s the thing

imagine you have known someone all your life. you know their tics, what makes them happy

and you’re not afraid of what they’re like when they’re in distress, because you know what to expect. and you know you’re safe with them.

now. imagine meeting someone for the first time on your absolute worst day.

that’s what happened to the darks.

the Patton of before would have rushed to Remus, gently guiding him away from the wall and crooning soothing nonsense to drown out his babble about death and gore and being alone alone alone

the Roman of before would have nodded and taken none of what Janus was saying at face value, cradling Janus’s hands in his own and humming a quiet tune 

and the Logan of before would have tapped out a slow, calm rhythm next to Virgil until he could breathe and handle touch again

but they didn’t know any of that anymore.

all they saw were monsters.

and all the dark sides saw were their friends, family, lovers there when they needed help. 

the light sides fled back to the upper mindscape 

and the darks slammed into the barrier

screaming and clawing at the invisible wall

for someone to help

for their family to look at them

for someone to explain what was going on

and the light sides closed and locked the door with a sigh of shaky relief.

now, the light sides develop something of an ingrained bad reaction to the darks due to this colossally bad first impression.

Patton: disgust, fear, thin veneer of trying to be polite while getting them to leave the vicinity as soon as possible

Logan: coldness, indifference. not cruelty but no warmth or allowances

Roman: fear masked by anger and intense protectiveness.

and the dark sides all deal with the upheaval, betrayal, and pain in different ways.

Virgil: depressed, afraid, tends to lash out at the slightest provocation. goes from snarky to mean.

Janus: gives up and pretends everything is fine. sees no point in hurting himself to get something back that can't be replaced or repaired. covers heartbreak with snark. can't quite stop himself from flirting with Roman but pretends it's just manipulation. focuses just on Thomas and what's best for him, ignoring all else.

Remus: wears his rotting heart on his sleeve. tries the hardest to get Patton back and is the least equipped to do so. isn't exactly trying to keep the others' spirits up, but more just doesn't lose hope that they can somehow fix this. 

the dark sides can only come to the main mindscape at all at night at first.

the barrier stops them any other time

it’s Remus who finds out first, mindlessly banging his head against the barrier to pass the time only to fall flat on his face when it fizzles out

and they all slowly start sneaking in at night to see the home that they were thrown out of

and slowly, the lights start having odd little incidents

nothing in person, at first.

Roman: he finds something in progress and abandoned at the border between the imagination halves that he and Remus both worked on. he can't figure out why it looks so recent even though he can’t remember ever getting along with his brother this well.

Patton: he's having a Sad Night. he thinks he's hiding it well, but someone (Virgil) notices and leaves him cookies that are one of his favorites. not a secret recipe, just ones he likes. there's a little note saying that sometimes it's okay to have a second cookie. Patton can't figure out who would know him this well.

Logan: he’s dealing with an absolute menace of a meeting. he gets back to his room, seething all the way, to see a plain porcelain plate with an unsigned note saying “break me all you want, nerd! I’ll put myself back together!”. he experimentally drops it from a few feet up. it shatters with a very satisfying crack and then, a few seconds later, reassembles itself in his hand. he has a grand old time shattering the plate against the wall again and again until his rage has subsided to a manageable level. he can’t figure out who would come up with an idea like this.

and then there start being little middle-of-the-night interactions. because for some reason, the light sides have a much harder time falling asleep nowadays.

Virgil looks over Roman’s shoulder as he watches a Disney movie in the living room at three AM to try and fall asleep. Anxiety offers a teasing insult to the protagonist. Roman jumps out of his skin, at first threatening to stab him, but then lets him tentatively settle in on the counter behind him. they roast the movie together, gradually picking up steam until Roman actually laughs at something Anxiety says. they both freeze and stare at each other for a heartbeat until Roman sinks out without a word.

Patton finds himself tucked into bed after a too-long day sorting through Thomas' emotional responses. when he wakes up, there's a somehow still steaming cup of sweet herbal tea that tastes like a snickerdoodle. he vaguely remembers a soft voice hissing at him that he needs to pay more attention to his own needs.

Logan is reading philosophy textbooks and muttering to himself out loud. Janus offers a quiet critique. they have a heartbeat of wonderful discussion before Logan "remembers" himself and shuts it down.

eventually, through all this, their memories start coming back. it’s triggered slowly through their platonic interactions with their friends, and then all at once by their romantic partners.

(because the love of friends is just as impactful and important as the love of a partner)

Patton: 

Patton is sad and frustrated, muttering to himself and pacing in the kitchen.

someone walks in and he immediately stops and snaps into happy pappy Patton mode. “Oh hey, kiddo-“

it's Remus, who just cocks his head and says "you know you don't have to do that with me, right?"

and after some protesting on Morality’s part

he ends up goading Patton into a very cathartic expression of anger, fear, and frustration, and helps him sort it out. 

at some point, Remus has shifted to holding Patton in a loose embrace as Patton waves his hands and rants and sobs.

Patton doesn’t realize that he burrows deeper into Remus’ arms every time he wiggles.

to the point that he’s turned sideways in Remus’ lap, with one arm curled around him and the other one free to gesture.

and then when it’s all over, they’re talked out, and it’s almost sunrise, Remus reluctantly starts to tear himself away. 

and Patton, who quite suddenly cannot bear the thought of Remus letting him go, holds on

Logan: 

panic attacks? Logan? certainly not. he doesn’t get those.

so when he finds himself gasping for air, feeling like his chest is on fire, and locked into his worst thoughts, he doesn’t know what to do

because he knows how to treat panic attacks

but this isn’t one. definitely

and even if it was, for some reason all his knowledge on how to treat them is slipping from his mind no matter how hard he tries to reach from it

you have to breathe? somehow? but he can’t breathe, can’t think

and somehow through it, he hears a raspy voice

counting steadily and quietly

and he realizes that there’s a stim toy placed in his hands that he’s wringing.

and it looks familiar, but he knows he’s never seen it before

and there’s soft, flowy music playing from a Bluetooth speaker next to him

and that feels familiar too

and without quite knowing why, only having a bone-deep certainty that it’ll help, he slumps over into the person sitting next to him

smells lavender and laundry detergent

feels soft fabric under his cheek

and suddenly everything snaps into place

oh

of course

why does he feel so safe? because he’s with the safest person in the world.

Roman: 

okay so

Roman alternates between being scared of Deceit and feeling extremely attracted to him

this, naturally, freaks Roman out

and he expresses this by getting more and more aggressive towards Janus

at some point, he panics and attacks Deceit

Deceit freezes with Roman’s sword to his throat. they stare at each other

before Janus sinks out

a day or so later, he comes back

all six hands up, ungloved, and open to show that he means no harm

“You win.”

“… What?” says Roman.

“You. Win. I’m tired of fighting you. Grant me one last request and you’ll never have to see me again.”

some buried part of Roman is conflicted. but his conscious self jumps at the opportunity. “What do you want, snake?”

“Dance with me.”

“… What.”

“Grant me the honor of one dance, my prince, and I’ll leave. You’ll never have to deal with my presence again.”

And Roman, wary of some trap but eager to be rid of the beautiful confusing disgusting snake, agrees.

They rise up in an elegantly decorated ballroom

dressed in a fancy suit (Roman) and an elegant ballgown (Deceit)

and they dance

at first, stilted and formal

keeping to the steps and no more

but then Janus seems to come to some internal conclusion

and folds himself in close to Roman

before spinning outwards, skirt swirling, and coming back in

and somehow, without Roman quite knowing why, they’re dancing.

flourishes, leaning into each other, Roman even lifting Deceit into the air at one point

and his heart keeps pinging strangely

aching

(familiar, this is familiar, you’ve done this before)

but eventually, the dance has to end

and they both come to a stop as the song finishes, panting heavily

Janus is smiling through his heavy breaths

and Roman finds he is too

but Janus’ smile cracks and falls and he steps back.

“Well,” he says. “That was the deal.”

and he lifts Roman’s hand, which somehow has his sword in it although it didn’t a second before, so that the blade is at his throat

just like the night before

“One quick cut ought to do it.”

Self Preservation exposes his throat to his beloved. 

because he doesn't want to hurt Roman. 

because this dance was his last selfish act before he gives up

one last moment to remember his prince by

and Roman pauses with his sword at Janus’ throat.

because Roman can't figure out why Janus, the evil self serving snake, wouldn't take an opportunity to hurt him to save himself

why he asked for this dance at all

why his arms around him felt like home

and all of a sudden

the memories he’s been denying all this time hit him like a truck

and he remembers

(after all that, Roman congratulates Janus on his idea to bring his memories back by dancing together)

(Janus smiles at him and changes the subject)

the barrier weakens the more that the lights feel comfortable around the darks.

the more that Thomas feels comfortable around them.

by the time everyone’s memory is back, it’s like it was never there at all.

#sanders sides #analogical #roceit #intruality #dote writes things #moduke #sanders sides fic #tss fanfic #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders

[prodigal-explorer]

my dearest little prince (i)

(roman sanders hurt/comfort, cw for extreme self deprecation and janus dropping truth. features sympathetic janus!)

“My dearest little prince…what’s happened to you?”

Roman’s hollow eyes, darkened from sleep deprivation, were squeezed shut, tears spilling out the sides and down his cheeks. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Nobody was supposed to know. Not even Janus’ tender, lulling voice could pull him out of this panic.

“Baby, come here. Please. Let me help you. Let me hold you.”

Janus’ words were practically hypnotic to the tired, desperate young prince. Roman was so tired of being used, so tired of being an object. All he wanted was to be loved, just like everyone else, but it seemed that no matter what he did, no matter what positions he bent himself into, he could never change himself enough. He was still too Roman. Maybe his actions weren’t the problem, after all. Maybe Roman himself was to blame. Everything about him, after all, was wrong, no matter what he did and how he did it. Roman could feel his mind turn to fuzz, Janus’ words and form growing farther and farther away as he enveloped himself in a meager attempt at self-protection. After all, Roman had long learned that he couldn’t trust anybody else to protect him from anything.

This had to be a trap. It just had to be.

“When was the last time you ate?” Janus whispered, putting a hand on Roman’s shoulder. The prince flinched back, but Janus persisted, too anxious to be sensitive. “Baby, please. I’m worried about you. You’ve always been so fragile. And lately, it feels like you’ve just been floating away.”

“Yeah?” Roman whispered, his voice seething with hurt. “I wonder why.”

Janus blinked, and tilted his head, his brow furrowed. “What do you mean, darling?” he asked gently.

“Maybe I should float away,” Roman mumbled thickly as his tears started to suffocate him. “You all would like it so much better if I was gone. You play tricks on me to make me shut up or look stupid, you use me for your own agendas without even caring about mine, and then you betray me when all I ever wanted to do was help my friends! I wanted to be a prince, I wanted to be honorable and chivalrous, but- but what’s the point if it always ends with me alone? I’m the least favorite side, Janus. The least favorite. The least amount of fans like me, and the most amount of fans hate me.”

“That’s-…that’s not fair, Roman,” Janus whispered, but Roman interjected before Janus could continue.

“Maybe it is fair,” he snapped, “Someone has to be. Maybe it should be me. After all, I am the evil twin. No matter what I say or do, no matter how hard I try, people only care about the bad stuff I did, and none of the good stuff I’m doing. What’s the point of trying anymore? What’s the point of anything?”

Roman tried to keep ranting, but a whimper cut him off, and as he realized the weight of everything he was saying, he started to sob. He felt like he was being crushed under the weight of the situation. Never in his entire life had the little prince felt so helpless.

Janus took the opportunity to talk. He tried to hide his anger, not towards Roman, but towards everyone and everything that caused Roman to believe such terrible things were actually true. Himself included.

“My precious little one,” Janus murmured, carefully pulling Roman’s limp and trembling limbs into a hug. “You are not evil. Evil people don’t worry about whether or not they’re evil. Evil people don’t cry as you do now. You are so, so good, my darling. And I’m sorry that nobody has told you that. I’m sorry that you’ve felt so alone for so long. You try harder than anybody I know. You are so ready to learn and change that sometimes I worry that you’ll lose yourself one day and never find it again.”

“Would that really be such a bad thing?” Roman muttered to Janus’ chest.

“Of course it would!” Janus scolded gently, starting to rhythmically pet Roman’s curly hair and support his delicate form. “Roman, you are so special. You’re so…beautiful. I’ve never met anybody else who sees the world the way you do, with such wonder. With such color. You sing when no audience is around to applaud you. You speak to things that can’t speak back. You care so much about everything. You care more than anybody I’ve ever met.”

There was silence and stillness in the room for a very long time, not a sound except for occasional sniffling from Roman. And then, the creative side fully launched himself into Janus’ arms, letting his sorrow carry him as he melted into Janus’ secure, but gentle hold, sobbing into his shoulder and letting Janus support his weight, trusting him to keep him upright.

“My baby…my sweet baby,” Janus whispered, “You’ve been hurting for a long time, haven’t you?”

Roman couldn’t speak. He couldn’t act, he couldn’t ask for more than this. For so long, he had been trying to act more mature, so he could be taken more seriously. But it felt so good to just cry, and be a child again, even if just for a moment. Janus seemed to innately know that Roman needed this. Maybe Janus cared more than Roman thought.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #tss #roman sanders #sanders sides fandom #janus sanders #sympathetic janus #roman tss #tss janus #janus tss #tss roman #roceit #platonic roceit #hurt/comfort #sanders sides roman #sanders sides janus #roman sanders angst #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic

[edupunkn00b]

Happily Ever After / Logan-Janus-Roman-Remus AU

Between the AU polls and the reblog party, I’ve realized I never built an actual complete post of every story in this universe and it's proving… daunting. AO3 has it all, and I will update this post as I go with Tumblr links to all the stories, as well.

Happily Ever After

Objections (Chapter 2 is currently only on AO3)

And I Feel Fine

What Might Have Been

Remy & Emile

Arizona's Journal

Fathers' Days

A Part of the Family

Butterfly Stories:

It Could Always Be Worse and The Uses of Adversity

Overruled

After Jack

#fanfic reblog party #sanders sides #intrulogical #roceit #remile #demus #dukeceit #intruloceit #logince #there are some alternate universes of my alternate universes here :D #ts logan #ts remus #ts roman #ts janus #ts virgil #ts patton #psst... patton's always there

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Saw you had writing prompts up and thought I’d send in something that brain conjured up in the early hours of dawn

“What if I want them to kill me? What if I want them to try? What if I want to see them realize that as much as I and others have tried. They…We can’t?’

d’know if this was what you meant by prompts but enjoy a depressed God?

More Than Human

----

At his very core, Janus was human.

One might say he was more than human, being a God, but being more than something doesn’t take away from that something, it just adds onto it.

----

| Ao3 | Next Part |

Warnings: implied/referenced suicide attempts, touch starvation, depression (with a somewhat positive ending)

Pairings: platonic roceit, though could be perceived as romantic if you so wished.

Word count: 1601

Notes: If I had a nickel for every time I wrote a fic with Mortal!Roman and a god!side I'd have two - (gets killed)

I really needed this lmao so tysm for the prompt! I've been really struggling with writing inspiration recently so this was really great!

It's been so long since I posted something new - it feels so good lmao. I left it fairly open ended so I could write more if anyone wanted it <3 just send an ask!! I'm always down for prompts :)

----

Janus was, first and foremost, a God

To be precise, he was the God of deception, trickery. In some communities he was the Guardian of all Evil, in others he was a representation of temptation, sin, all that was wrong with the world. 

At his very core, Janus was human.

One might say he was more than human, being a God, but being more than something doesn’t take away from that something, it just adds onto it.

Janus was still human, deep down, he always would be, no matter how many layers were added - immortality, reality bending powers, worshippers, temples - he couldn’t bury the human parts. Though he tried, he wasn’t indifferent. No matter what he did the harsh words still stung when they tore at him, the hatred many felt towards him sat heavy in his chest, loneliness clawed at him like a starving animal - and he was their prey. As it had been for years. 

He had been naive, a thousand years ago, to become a God. But they’d needed someone to shoulder the burden of the world's evils. They needed someone to shield them from the terrors, they needed someone who could face the lies and treachery and not be torn down by them. He had been foolish then, just a boy who was different, a boy who wanted to help. 

There was no way out, either. Janus had tried his best, he’d begged the universe, he’d searched. He’d tried to cut himself off from the world but that had only made the lonely, empty feeling in his chest worse, he’d tried to end it all, when he had no options left, but that hadn’t worked either. 

You couldn’t kill a God, after all. He wasn’t the only one who tried. 

—-

“You’re not going to defend yourself?” Said the knight, dressed in shining silver armour, a red cloak fastened at the shoulder flowing behind him, a confident expression turning to confusion. The challenger stood before him in his temple, shining sword drawn and pointed at Janus’ chest where he sat on his uncomfortable, stone throne. 

“No,” He answered simply.

“You’ll just… let me kill you?” He said, faltering, the only movement was his fiery red hair in the wind. 

Janus leaned on his elbow and didn’t say anything. The knight lowered his sword just a little. 

“Armies will try - if I fail,” The knight said, widening his arms in a gesture, “More people will come, try to kill you, why just allow it?”

“Maybe I want them to kill me,” Janus said softly, not quite looking at the knight, “What if I want you, them, everyone to try? What if I want to see them realise that as much as I and others have tried. They…We can’t?’”

The knight stared at the God before him, eyes widening as he realised, “You… whyever would you want to die?” 

Once again, Janus said nothing. The knight sheathed his sword and Janus sighed softly. He supposed today wouldn’t be the day. 

With the soft clanking of the knight’s heavy armour, he stepped forward, slowly approaching Janus’ throne as though he was prepared to be attacked. Even if he never went to draw his sword again, Janus could see the fear growing in his eyes with every step as he got closer. Janus didn’t move. 

“Why do you want to die, Janus: God of Deceit, guardian of Evil,” the Knight asked, now standing over him. How interesting, Janus thought, that a mortal would have the courage to do such a thing. Many Gods would have felt that something of the sort was an act of disrespect, possibly even choosing to smite down the mortal who dared to do such a thing, Janus found he didn’t have the energy to care. Instead he just smiled softly - at least this made his life just a little more interesting, even if it did nothing to lessen the emptiness in his chest. 

He sighed, he’s certain the knight would listen if he turned him away, but Janus had yearned for someone to talk to for hundreds of years. This knight would leave soon anyway and Janus would never see him again, what did it matter.

“Tell me your name,” Janus said, the Knight tilted his head and frowned, “Tell me your name, first, and I’ll answer your question.”

After a long, thoughtful pause, the knight sighed, “My name is Roman - Sir Roman Greenheart.”

“A lovely name,” Janus said softly, Roman smiled tentatively, “Now- your question… Why do I want to die? The answer is that living is painful.”

“Oh…” Roman said softly, “I would have thought a God would have an easy life.”

“Easy and painless are not the same,” Janus says softly, “People try to kill me on a monthly basis, Roman, and that’s barely scratching the surface.”

The pair were silent for a moment, before Roman gestured to the floor by Janus’ feet, “May I sit down?” He asked.

“You may,” Janus said. With permission, Roman folded to sit cross legged by Janus’ feet. He wondered silently why Roman’s attitude had changed so abruptly - minutes ago he’d been prepared to attempt to kill him. He wouldn’t ask though, instead simply ignoring him, resting his elbow on the uncomfortable arm of the throne and resting his chin atop his fist. 

Minutes spent in silence later, Roman must have shifted, because Janus felt his shoulder brush against his leg, sending a jolt of warmth through him, strong enough to make his gasp. He hoped Roman wouldn’t notice, but as the knight turned to look at him, he knew he wasn’t so lucky. 

“What was that?” Roman asked, frowning up at him - though the look seemed to be one of concern, Janus couldn’t be certain. 

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” Janus said, making a point to look forward instead of down at Roman. Unfortunately that left him unprepared for Roman laying his hand atop Janus’ knee. His whole leg jolted as he flinched away in surprise at the way the touch burned. 

“What are you doing to me,” Janus hissed, trying to sound menacing though he was fairly certain his fear and confusion were showing through his facade. 

Roman simply frowned, “How… How long has it been since someone touched you?”

For a moment, Janus couldn’t think of an answer because when he thought about it, Janus couldn’t remember the last time he’d been touched by another person outside of combat. His silence seemed to be enough of an answer for Roman. 

“I didn’t know Gods could be touch starved,” Roman said softly. Janus’ frown deepened. 

“Will you stop being vague and let me in on whatever odd breakthrough you’re having?” He asked, voice tired but still a little snappish, Roman jumped.

“Oh- um…” he sighed, “I believe you might be touch starved.”

“...Meaning?” Janus asked, frowning down at the knight with a raised eyebrow.

“You’ve gone too long without touch,” Roman said, sighing, “So you aren’t used to it - people need touch to be happy.”

“I am not a person.” Janus pointed out, frowning, he wasn’t even sure why Roman was even still here - now he was telling him he had this strange sickness of some kind? Who did he think he was?

“You don’t have to be a human to be a person,” Roman pointed out, voice irritatingly soft.

Janus narrowed his eyes, “Why are you still here?”

“Why haven’t you told me to leave?” Roman challenged, Janus blinked. People didn’t usually stand up to him - well, not after trying and failing to kill him, anyway. They usually ran in fear after that - that’s how it always went.

Roman held his gaze for a long, quiet moment, before Janus sighed.

“I don’t know,” he said. Eventually, Roman’s expression became one of pity, maybe concern. 

“You…” Roman trailed off, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve, “Do you have anyone to talk to? Other Gods?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Janus said, tone growing icy. Roman frowned, but seemed to understand as he stood up.

“Well - I must get back to my village duties,” He said with a small smile, confusing Janus greatly - though he tried not to show it. Why on earth was he smiling?

“Good,” Janus said sharply, “Leave me be with your prying questions and annoying presence.”

Chuckling, the knight turned away, though the glint in his eyes certainly worried Janus - if only a little, though he tried immediately to get the sight out of his mind, “I will return here in a week's time - for no reason - perhaps I’ll bring some cookies.”

Janus frowned as he watched him leave. Was this mortal trying to tempt him, a God, to return to his own temple, with the promise of cookies? He said nothing as Roman walked away and continued to sit there once the knight was out of sight over the crest of the hill. Janus thought he shouldn’t come back next week - as the mortal was clearly inviting him to - but he wanted to. He really wanted to and Janus wasn’t one to deny himself what he wants despite having not wanted much other than death for the last few hundred years.

Despite that, and despite his harshness towards Sir Roman, he still wanted to see the strange mortal again.

So for the first time he actually kept track of the passing days and a week later he returned to that temple. For the first time he appeared before a knight without hoping that it would be the last time he did so. 

----

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #janus sanders #ts janus #roceit #(platonic or romantic its your choice lol) #roman sanders #ts roman #fanfic #fanfiction #rowans writings

[korruptbrekker]

@5am-the-foxing-hour

Roman couldn't look away from him even if he wanted to.

He looked majestic like this, hair splayed out around his head in a golden halo, expression peaceful and relaxed as he dozed in the vibrant, plush grass of the Daydreamscape. The sun caressed his skin, revealing yellows and blues in the patches of scales that dotted his face, his arms, his bare hands.

Janus's hand lay limp in Roman's own as he fiddled with his slender, ungloved fingers and admired his boyfriend before him. In his pale blue sundress and stunning red lipstick he looked right out of a storybook, the curious newcomer that would only wake once Roman's kiss of true love was delivered.

A glance to his left told him that Virgil was just as enraptured. A gentle smile played across his mouth, curving the edges upwards as he shifted forward and slid his fingers between shining locks of golden hair, scratching at Janus's scalp.

Their boyfriend moaned and shifted, face pinching slightly. Virgil froze. Roman did not.

"Hush, darling, go back to sleep." He encouraged, not once stopping his soft fiddling with Janus's fingers.

With a low hum his brow smoothed out and Janus settled back into his sleep. Roman caught Virgil's eye from over his head, smiling wide. Virgil let out a breath and smiled back.

Warmth bloomed heady in Roman's chest as he grinned, vines of adoration and love stretching from his chest and guiding his movements as he leaned forward to press a kiss to Virgil's lips.

Beneath them, Janus smiled, eyes fluttering shut as he enjoyed the sun.

—

If you like, please reblog. <3

#sanders sides #fanfic #fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #ts roman #janus sanders #ts janus #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roceit #anaroceit #romantic anaroceit #kbwrites

[mimssides]

"I Wish I Could Believe You"

Prompt from @lost-in-thought-20: one of the Sides has overworked themselves. The other goes to check up on them and tries to get the overworked Side to swear not to do it again.

Link to the story on AO3 | Masterpost | Taglist

___

It takes a liar to know a liar.

It takes someone who likes working hard and well to recognise when someone forgot why they liked their work in the first place.

It takes a perfectionist to recognise when someone’s critiquing only becomes a stalling technique.

So, this turn of events doesn’t surprise him. Maybe he should have picked up on it a little quicker but he has needed time after the wedding to compress and figure out what to do next. Everything until that point has been so rushed . Everybody has been on edge and tried to not piss anyone else off, which in did piss everybody off even more.

He has decided to hold his cards close to the chest for once and just didn’t say too much. He started to think. And he found a few things in his thoughts. One was that he shouldn’t have rushed into that debate after the wedding. That he shouldn’t have jumped the gun and let things escalate the way they did.

That the insults between him and the other most dramatic side should never have been taken as seriously as the were. He shouldn’t have said his half and he shouldn’t have gotten so upset about the words that were thrown at him.

But he also realised one more thing: that it was over now. Now all things are said and done and for once in his life he stands with both feet right on the ground. Yes, it is a setback, yes, it hurts, yes, it is hard. But it is also the clearest he’s felt in years. Finally, he knows what the doesn’t want and what Thomas might need.

He’s at the bottom and he’s working his way back up. He doesn’t show it to the others yet. He doesn’t interact much with Patton, gets along with others better and lets them believe he was still upset with Patton for everything that has happened.

Is it fair, one asks? No, it is not, he’d answer if someone would ask. But it is also not fair how Patton got away with a lot of shit only because no one dared to talk back to him. Himself included. He should have spoken up sooner but alas. The past can’t be changed and finally he feels ready to move on forward.

And in that task he starts to watch everyone a bit closer. Observe a little better, listen a tiny bit harder. And my, it makes all the difference. He’s starting to understand where everything went bad, to see how they made each other and in addition Thomas miserable. He sees how the original “light” sides played each other in a corner, three edges of a triangle, all opposed, all too extreme for each other, eradicating nuance and moderation between them over decades and decades of living together. He sees how the original “dark” sides fall out more and more with each other. He sees that their bond, forged by exclusion and otherness, was breaking bit by bit, as they all are pulled into more and more different directions.

And then of course he notices him. He sees the subtleness of his suave comments. The way he forces himself to make it seem like nothing of it affects him all. He sees the lingering looks he believes to be hidden. He sees the longing of connection, of something true and stable.

He isn’t sure how he should approach him. There are a few opportunities as of late; after the first meeting with Nico, the little song he shared with Patton. He takes none of them.

In the end, it is a normal afternoon when it happens. He goes down to the living room in the search for a snack when he sees him sitting at the table. His hair is messy, face close to a paper, which was laying on the table. Virgil is holed up in his room, Patton and Logan stuck in the Library of Thomas’ Memory reorganizing the latest short time experiences, Remus creating chaos and anarchy in the Imagination. And he himself is supposed to work on the next script. So, no one should be here. He should be alone and free to worry about his work and be allowed to not focus on the mask he has put up around all of them.

But well, things don’t always go as planned, he thinks with a smirk and saunters over to the table and pulls out the chair in front of the other side.

Gold glints in his eyes as he looks up in shock. He has not expected him and tries to recover the mask but he doesn’t let him. He reaches for he paper in front of him and takes it. Lazily he looks over the words, sees that it is a schedule he must be review for Logan and raises his eyebrow.

“So Logan wants your help with scheduling?” he asks.

The other hisses and grabs the schedule back from him. Then the mask slowly slips back on, the face turning into the slight annoyed and bored expression it always carried and he looks at his gloved fingers.

“And naturally that is any of your business because...?” he says with lazy snarl.

He laughes. The others eyes dart over his face. He knows that he cannot read him. He knows his mask has been better than his.

“Deceit, honey,” Roman hums and leans his head on his had as he sets his elbow on the table, “I thought you were smarter than this.”

Panic sets in. Roman knows Janus cannot flee but he sees that he sure as hell wants to flee.

“Don’t you think about it.”

With a gulp the other replies: “I wouldn’t know what you mean.”

Roman sighs. He looks at Janus’ hands and then back up to the snake. Something changes. Roman can see that suddenly something changes in Janus’ perception of him and he knows he has a chance to finally make a change.

“It’s time for a break.”

He says it and scenes of Janus standing with Patton in the kitchen as the cook and clean the dishes, Janus picking up Virgil’s shoes and putting them away, Janus laying out Logan’s notpad and favourite pen on the kitchen table before the latter gets to his brainstorm session, Janus catching one of Remus’ knives from another Rube-Goldberg-Machine he’s building, play in front of his eye.

Janus hesitates.

“I took one only thirty minutes ago,” he says.

“I wish I could believe you.”

“Pardon me?”

“What time is it now?”

Janus hesitates again. Roman’s features soften. He can wait. He’s become quite good at waiting lately and he doesn’t mind to prove that to Janus now.

It is enough. Janus answers.

“It is 11.”

Roman knows his expression gets even softer. Janus blinks. He realises his mistake and his thoughts shuffle. Roman stops them as he stretches his hand out.

“It’s 2.30,” Roman says very, very gently.

He looks at him and closes his eyes with a smile when he finally puts his hand in his.

“There we go,” he whispers and lets his warmth seep into Janus body. “Let’s go to my room. I’ve got a nice relaxing bath ready for you, your snakiness.”

“Do you now?”

There is mirth in Janus voice.

“I do indeed,” Roman laughs and pulls the pliant snake up to his feet.

Something in his chest hammers hard and he catches Janus’ snake eye. It is dilated and curious on him. He thinks about the mistakes he made. About the pile he’s amassed over the years and years, the insults and jabs he would never be able to take back.

He thinks about the way he has pained him for years and years without thinking twice about it.

“We’re both familiar with failure,” it comes suddenly from Janus.

Roman glimpses over his shoulder to him. He stares at the floor. Maybe a tinge of regret on the blush of his human cheek.

“We both haven’t learnt from our mistakes. We certainly can’t move on.”

And at once Roman’s chest feels light. He inhales. And for once it reaches his lungs, his belly, his veins, his feet. And he smiles.

He genuinely smiles.

“We can. I think we can-” he pulls him closer and begins to sink them both into his room - “Janus.”

___

Taglist:

@vexelore

@exhaustedfander

@alexisrealgay

@wolfs-feder

@just-a-neoclassical-painting

@winter-jay-official

@a-ghostlight-for-roman

@mychemically-imbalanced-romance

@whattheremus

@regalredrose

@spellingwillbethedeathofme

@sarenicide

#eir writes #platonic roceit #roman sanders #janus sanders #ts roman #ts Janus #sanders sides #tss #tss fanfic #please reblog

[lily-janus]

Someone Like You - Chapter 4

Chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | next

Summary: the inevitable clush between the two ex-friends.

Pairings: roceit

Warnings: disability, public humiliation, painful history, angst. I think that's it but let me know if I missed anything.

Word count: 1,183

It's that time of the week again folks! And this time I bring you the first chapter that was written by me only! Hope you all enjoy^^ @prince-rowan-of-the-forest

"That's a terrible idea." Janus deadpanned as Roman finished telling him his next idea for their project.

It was a few days after he… after they toured the potential places of filming their little film.

"What? Why? We can't film it with just the both of us! We need a crew!" Roman protested.

"A different crew, then." Janus said stubbornly.

"Oh c'mon, what's wrong with my friends?" Roman folded his arms over his chest, waiting for Janus' answer.

"I… They don't know anything about film-making." Janus tried to come up with an excuse. Roman might treat him nicely for some unknown reason Janus is still trying to figure out, but that doesn't say anything about the rest of his friends. And.. of course there's um… There's Virgil.

So, obviously Janus can't work with them, he does not have the energy to deal with what that entailed.

"Yes they do! I promise, plus they're really nice and great people… Well, Logan can be a bit stiff but he does have a good heart." Roman continued insisting.

"Just… no, okay?" For fuck's sake that sounded so pathetic, what's wrong with him? Well… besides the obvious.

There was a beat of silence in which Janus could feel Roman's gaze studying him.

"What's your problem with my friends? You don't even know them. I promise they won't judge if that's what you're worried about." Roman said again, though much softer this time.

"I just… I prefer to avoid meeting new people." He settled on, eventually. Which was half truth, true, he hated meeting new people. But, unfortunately, Virgil is far from 'new people'.

"Ohhh I see." Roman said, and Janus let out a sigh of relief. "I'll help you then!" Roman said immediately after, dragging Janus away from the lockers before he processed what was happening.

"What? No! Roman! Let go of me!" He almost dropped his cane from the surprise-dragging, left leg aching as he struggled to keep up and free himself from Roman's grip.

Someone must have walked towards them in Janus' blindspot and bumped straight into him, making him lose his balance and fall painfully on his behind. He heard some faint chuckles and his cheeks burned in embarrassment.

He lost his cane during the fall and attempted to crawl towards it when he saw a hand in front of his face.

"Janus! Oh gosh I'm so sorry… Are you okay? Can I help y-" Roman said distressingly above him.

"I think…" Janus cut him off, "you've helped enough" he hissed at him, finally reaching his cane and using it to help him get back on his feet without Roman's help.

Roman looked down in shame, "right… sorry, I just thought you'll see him coming your way and-" he tried to explain himself but Janus was already walking away, trying to ignore the laughter that followed him.

"O-okay… see you after school for our project okay?!" He shouted over the rackous in the hallway but Janus didn't grace him with a response.

…

Despite not answering Roman about whether or not they'll be meeting after school, he still found him waiting for him outside of his last class. He would have loved to ignore him and go home but they still had a project to finish and he did not feel like failing this class.

Roman bit his lip, "listen, about earlier-"

"Just forget about it, what are we doing today?" Janus cut off his less-than-genuine-apology.

Roman sighed, seeming to have expected this reaction, "...if that's what you want… I thought we could work on our costumes today but…" he hesitated.

"But what?"

"Well, as much as I hate to admit it, Virgil is way better than me when it comes to sewing… but I know you two have a history so… I guess we'll do our best with my skills." He laughed awkwardly.

Janus huffed, "how bad can it be?"

"Um… sewing-my-hand-into-the-fabric kind of bad?"

Janus swore under his breath, heart aching in his chest as he realized there's not going to be any way around it. Life just keeps being oh so kind to him. "Fine… whatever, let's go to Virgil's and get this over with."

Roman smiled in relief, "oh good, I'm sure this won't be awkward at all!" Janus would have said that sentence with a lot more sarcasm but Roman seems to really mean it, ignorance is bliss I guess.

…

"Oh, Roman, what's up man?" Virgil said in surprise when he opened the door, "...and Janus… long time no see?" He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he noticed his ex-friend at the doorway as well.

"I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here, trust me." Was all Janus said as he walked inside after Roman.

"...good to see you too." Virgil sighed, closing the door behind them. "Roman, what did we say about springing upon me human interaction without warning? Texting is not very complicated, you know." He said tiredly, leading them to his room.

"Sorry, Virge, it was kind of last minute and I forgot to notify you, we won't be long though, just need your help with our English project." Roman apologized, Janus staying silent beside him, trying his best to sink into the floor but not really succeeding.

"Oh, the Macbeth one? What do you need me for?" Virgil asked, walking to sit on his bed.

Janus tried readlly really hard to ignore the pinch of nostalgia this place brought, Virgil's room especially… he does not cherish those memories at all… in case you were wondering. He knows now it was all fake, Virgil was just his friend as long as he was his only option, once he got more, he was more than happy to ditch him for those…. Not that Janus cared, alone suited him just fine.

"...what do you think, Janus?"

He was suddenly aware of everyone's eyes on him and he realized he spaced out without noticing. "Um… it's great!" He hoped that fit with the question Roman asked him.

Roman and Virgil exchanged looks, "ah… we asked if it was okay if I measured you guys before I start working on Roman's designs? Are you okay?" Virgil said, frowning at him.

Janus huffed in annoyance, "like you care… and yes, fine, whatever, just make it quick."

Virgil rolled his eyes, "of course, wouldn't want to make you suffer in my company for more than necessary."

"Aw c'mon, Virge, he didn't mean that-"

"Yes, that'll be appreciated, thank you." Janus agreed.

"Janus!" Roman protested.

"I don't know what's your issue with me, I never ditched anyone to hang with the more popular kids the first chance I got. Virgil on the other hand…" Janus spat, watching Virgil's gaze turn downward.

"That's not what happened, and you know it." He said quietly.

Janus gripped his cane and turned to face the door, "keep telling yourself that." He opened the door and made to leave.

"Wait! What about-"

"I'll measure myself at home and send it to you, goodbye." And he walked away without another word.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #Someone Like You #chapter 4 #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #pre romantic roceit #janus angst #virgil angst #tw disability #tw humiliation #Lily writes #wip exchange

[aredlemon]

Heartbreak. Ao3

Summary:

To feel heartbroken may just be the worst fate of them all.

Or

Just some sad boi Ro hours, look I wrote it at 12 am

Notes:

Cw: unrequited love, implied character death, bad letter writing

Pairings: unrequited roceit, dukeceit

~~~

Oh to be loved by you…

To be held and cherished. To feel your flesh burn hot against mine. Your breath warm against my bare neck.

How I wish to see you. Your presence oh ever so holy. My eyes locked on you, unable to flutter from fear of losing sight of you.

Being able to hear your voice, dripping with honey as you whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Listening you talk till I go deaf. Revelling in promises of an eternity with you…

But I’d be a fool, for you have chosen him.

———

Roman stared down at the piece of paper. Why? Why did he choose *him*?

Why wasn’t he the object of the snake’s affection?

What did Remus have that he didn’t?

———

His smile lighting up a whole room. Shining brighter than any star could. Perfectly crooked teeth showing through.

Piercing green eyes akin to absinthe. Greener than any grass one would see, a gaze so captivating it’ll put anyone under a spell. Framed by ever so slightly purplish skin.

A pale body contrasted by dark hair. Short messy locks, swaying softly at the lightest of winds. Fusing together to create, what one would truly describe as, a sight for sore eyes.

Of course you’d choose him.

———

The now tear stained page was laying idly on the desk. Taunting Roman.

Why would you even choose me?

———

Whilst I am anything but enchanting. Simple tan skin blending in with chestnut hair. Eyes the colour of dirt, the most common of them all.

Nothing special.

———

Roman took in a breath. His chest ached as he dipped the pen in the ink.

Oh what a fool he was.

———

I shall wish you the best, for jealousy is not going to change anything.

Now that you know of my true feelings for you, ones that have been suppressed to the deepest depths of my soul, I may move on.

But please do fulfil one request of mine, for I will not be there to do so my self.

Forgive yourself and him of any pain or guilt this letter may bring upon you. I hope the happiest of day are yet to come for you, and that you may live a life by each others side.

-The one who hurt you both.

———

Upon closing the letter Roman sat at his desk for a little while longer. Slowly sitting up from his chair he walked towards the neatly made bed. Each movement deliberate, slow, and elegant.

As he lay on his back, staring upwards, he thought.

What if, even if for a second, there was the slimmest chance of a different outcome. One that would keep his heart intact. One so desirable he would risk anything to achieve it.

But it was too late, for the letter had been written, and his eyes were growing heavy.

So that was it.

The room grew dark as everything became a blur. The pain in his chest expanded, spreading to the tips of his fingers. Gravity felt ten times stronger, Roman unable to even cover his mouth. As he coughed, red stained his pretty white dress shirt, his chin, his lips.

Oh to truly feel heartbreak is horrendous, yet to live with it is a fate worse than death.

Notes:

Holy moly! Thank you so much for the recognition in my last one! I wanted to get something out as a thank you :)

I’ll probably stick to writing short and “sweet” (if you can call them that) works. Also reference to my ‘Sweet nothings’ drawing lol

(Also I was looking at johnlock posts of the wedding before this so- you can see the inspo)

#ao3 #fanfic #roman sanders #my writing #sanders sides #unrequited love #unrequited roceit #roceit #dukeceit #tw implied death #roman angst

[reseaseo]

Stray Italian Greyhound

Pairing: Romantic Roceit (Roman x Janus)

Summary: Janus has been dating Roman for five months and only just started to realize that maybe it’s real, that maybe he’s in love, that maybe he wants to move forward in their relationship. And he thinks he’s losing his mind because why would he let himself have that?

Notes: Human AU, just a 5K-worded fic about some soft, tender pining between idiots in love.

Preview: “Roman’s flying home next week,” Logan says, shrugging his shoulders.

Janus is quiet. He stares at the changing thumbnails on the television screen with each rhythmic click of the remote button. He imagines himself resting his head on a lap instead of the hard, leather cushion, imagines long fingers combing through his hair and a voice yelling at Logan to play an early aughts’ romcom or a Disney live-action remake. He feels sick to the stomach.

“What do I care about Roman coming home or not,” Janus mumbles.

Logan hums. “It seems that you care quite a lot. You just do a great job of hiding it.”

READ: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47986753

#sanderssides #sanders sides #roman sanders #janus sanders #roceit #sanders sides fanfic #roceit fanfics #reseaseo fanfics #Spotify

[roseianxiety]

You're Reckless

× Pairing: Roceit

× Canon Universe

× Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Crying, Blood Mention, Wounds, Foul Language

× Word Count: 3k+ words

× Notes: N/A

× AO3 link

× Summary:

"And for someone whose role is also self-preservation, you were reckless. You got yourself hurt for frick's sake! What were you thinking?!?!" Roman exclaimed. "Why are you acting like you care?" Janus snapped back with venom, followed by a small defensive hiss.

"Because I do!"

Janus let out an exasperated sigh as he walked through the woods, trying to find a certain prince. But it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. Janus found himself in Roman's part of the Imagination, the colorful and vibrant world that Roman often retreated to. He hoped that he would find Roman here, where they could talk and make amends (it was awfully dreadful not apologizing to him when he already did to Virgil). 

But his part of the Imagination wasn't particularly small in any way. The Imagination as a whole (both Roman's and Remus' combined) stretched endlessly into infinity. And unlike Remus' side of the imagination which Janus is very much familiar with, he didn't know much about Roman's side on the other hand. So he'd been wandering for a long time (a whole hour perhaps) with no sign of Roman yet.

Janus was getting frustrated and his feet were starting to hurt after walking for miles endlessly. He rubbed his sore feet and leaned against a nearby tree to catch his breath. Just then, he heard a rustling in the bushes and tensed up, but it turned out to be a squirrel running up the tree he was leaning against.

He let out a sigh of relief before standing up and continuing the search for Roman. His footsteps echoed throughout the forest and made everything seem eerily silent at first, making Janus feel uneasy. Then he heard another rustling noise in a nearby bush and he froze for a second in surprise. It was going to be a harmless little bunny or maybe a cute squirrel, right? He thought. 

Well, he was wrong. 

A wild boar came rushing at Janus from the bush and the deceitful façade quickly ran away from the wild animal as fast as he could but the boar was gaining on him. Janus turned sharply to the left, running in another direction to lose it off his back, and got away. But it seems that Lady Luck was not on his side that moment because as he ran, he tripped on a tree root and tumbled down a small hill. Janus landed with a loud thud at the bottom of the hill, his body sore and bruised from the fall. He let out a pained groan and tried to sit up, but his head was spinning, and his vision was starting to get blurry. He felt a sharp pain in his ankle and realized he had twisted it when he fell.

Janus gritted his teeth as he tried to stand up, but he couldn't put any weight on his injured foot. He was stuck, alone, and injured in the middle of the woods. He wished Roman was here with him to help him.

He tried to sit up a little more and winced from the pain before resting against a log while he continued to whimper in pain to himself. Janus felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes as his ankle throbbed painfully and his breathing became uneven. Just then, he heard a voice calling out his name. "Janus! Janus, where are you?" It was Roman's voice, and Janus felt a wave of relief wash over him. Roman had finally found him.

"There you are! Patton has been pestering me because you've been gone for an hour. What are you even doing here?–" He stopped short upon seeing Janus, who was curled up against a log rather pathetically. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and worry as he took the scene in. "Hey, what happened?" He said softly, his confusion further morphing into concern. 

Janus let out a shuddering breath and looked up at him, his eyes red. He tried to smile at him, but it just ended up looking like a grimace instead. "Oh, nothing really, I just… I got lost and tumbled down." He mumbled. He glanced down to examine his ankle and groaned at the sight. 

Roman moved closer and reached out to look at his leg better, but Janus slapped his hand away. "Ssstop!" He snapped, hissing defensively at the princely one. Roman recoiled back, looking surprised at Janus' outburst. Janus sighed and calmed himself down, closing his eyes briefly before looking back at Roman again. "… It doesn't hurt that bad...". Roman's brows furrowed even more, "Are you sure? It looks really swollen–".

"I don't need your help, okay? I can handle myself just fine." Janus huffs as he tries to stand up, Roman offers him a hand but he ignores him and persists. No way was he going to be vulnerable in front of Roman. When he stood up, the pain in his ankle worsened and a sudden shot of sharp pain appeared on his side, causing him to hiss and whimper in pain. Janus placed a hand on where the pain on his side was when he felt something wet and sticky on his palm. He pulled his hand back and saw red. His eyes widened in shock as he stumbled back, a wave of dizziness suddenly hitting him in full force. 

But before he could fall completely to the ground, Roman quickly rushed to him and caught him just in time. "Janus, you're bleeding. We have to get you out of here." He says as carefully lifts Janus off the ground and carries him in a bridal carry. Janus was too weak to process everything else and gave in, nuzzling into Roman's shoulder gratefully before everything turned black, finally losing consciousness. 

---

Janus slowly opened his eyes to see himself lying on a soft bed. He groaned softly as he tried to sit up and rest against the headboard. He looked around, finding himself in an unfamiliar room with a white, red, and gold color scheme. Then he figured he might be in Roman's room. Janus then looked down at himself and noticed that he was half naked causing him to blush in embarrassment. "Where are my clothes?!?" He shrieked and tried to cover himself with a blanket. 

Roman, who was out of his usual princely attire came out of his en suite bathroom and seemed rather annoyed by the other's reaction, and replied, "Geez, calm down. You act like a virgin maiden.". Janus glared at him, "Excuse me for being modest!".

The princely façet scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Stop being dramatic, that's my job. Anyway, I had to discard your clothes because they were torn and covered with blood and mud. So I'm lending you mine for now, don't ruin them." He then held up some new clothes which were a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, both in his colors, and tossed it to Janus who clumsily caught it. 

"I also had to patch you up, You got a gash on the side of your stomach and you twisted your ankle. Thank God it isn't that fatal or something." Roman explained as he plopped down on the spot next to Janus. The deceitful façade only nodded his head absent-mindedly as he stared at the bandage on his side and ankle. He was still perplexed as to why Roman (the same person who called him evil and a villain) had... taken care of him. 

Roman spoke up once more, snapping Janus out of his thoughts, and looked at the princely figure before him. "Why on earth were you on my territory of all places, Janus? Don't you know how dangerous it was for you to wander around there?" Roman scolded him with a huff, his tone sounding more stern. Janus rolled his eyes at Roman's scolding, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Oh yes, I definitely knew that it was dangerous to go there." Janus hisses at Roman before side-eyeing him. "And why do you care if I go there anyway? You don't own the whole Imagination.". Roman raised an eyebrow at Janus' words, " You particularly went into MY side of the Imagination." he retorted. "Now tell me what were YOU doing there, or do I have to make you?". 

"Aw, do you think I'm going to be scared by your little threat, dear prince?" Janus cooed sarcastically, but his words didn't seem to faze Roman at all. In fact, he narrowed his eyes at him and stared daggers at him for a moment. "What are you going to do? Kick me out?" Janus challenged him, his lips curling into a smirk. 

Roman stared at him for a moment, he was so close to retorting back to Janus again but he (surprisingly) controlled himself. No, he was not going to deal and fight with a bratty and sassy Janus right now. He had plenty of things to do than argue with this sly snake. He took a deep breath before standing up from the bed, confusing the other with his actions. "Y'know what? If you aren't going to tell me, fine, then don't. I have better things to do right now than to argue with you.".

Roman stated before walking towards his desk that was situated across the room, Janus looked at him with confusion, totally not expecting this. "Put those clothes on if you don't want to get sick but suit yourself if you don't want to cooperate," Roman said before sitting down on his chair and opening his laptop. 

Janus narrowed his eyes and stared at Roman for a moment in silence before rolling his eyes. He glances at the clothes Roman had tossed at him earlier, tempting whether or not he should comply with the other's demand. And also, he didn't want to stay half-naked in front of Roman either. He sighs heavily, grabbing the shirt and slipping it on over his head. It was rather big on him, Roman had a slightly big and taller physique than him after all (he wouldn't want to admit it but the shirt was quite comfy honestly). Janus then grabbed the pants next, carefully putting them on, hissing slightly when he felt his ankle throb and ache.

"Do you need help?"

Janus stopped trying to put on the pants and looked up at Roman's suggestion, he glanced at the princely man who had his back facing Janus while he was preoccupied with whatever he was working on. He thought for a few moments before shaking his head ‘No’, he can manage this by himself just fine. "No thank you, I'm doing quite fine. I don't need your help.". Roman glanced at him for a moment then shrugged, "Alright then.". And with that, Roman turned back to his laptop and continued working. 

"Why are you helping your so-called enemy anyway? Aren't you supposed to be pleased with my suffering?" Janus queries with a raised brow as he puts on the sweatpants, his nose scrunching when he realizes the pants are too long and loose for his liking. 

Roman stopped typing on his laptop and immediately spun his chair so he was now facing Janus, staring at him dead in the eyes (surprising Janus again). “You may be my enemy, Janus, but never have I thought of leaving you to suffer in the woods while you’re bleeding out— well, I have sorta thought about it— but let's not talk about that.” He stated simply. “I’m not a monster, Janus.” He added with a stern voice. 

“Why did you even bother to help me, Roman? Are you still trying to prove being everyone’s hero? I could’ve managed by myself.” Janus hissed as he crossed his arms, now facing Roman. “I didn’t need your help by the way.”.

“Didn't you listen?" Roman sighed exasperatedly, running his finger through his hair. "Despite our differences and conflicts, I don't want to see any of us suffer needlessly, not even my so-called enemy.". He then pointed at Janus, who merely raised an eyebrow in response, "You. You play an important role in Thomas' life, all of us do, as what you have said. I'm hesitant to admit it but... I- we don't want to lose someone like you.". 

"And for someone whose role is also self-preservation, you were reckless. You got yourself hurt for frick's sake! What were you thinking?!?!" Roman exclaimed. "Why are you acting like you care?" Janus snapped back with venom, followed by a small defensive hiss. "Because I do!" Roman growled, glaring at him as he shot up from his seat. 

Silence filled the room after that, neither of them saying anything nor making eye contact with each other. The tension between them was thick, almost suffocating. Janus kept looking at his lap, unsure of what to say or how to react to Roman's words. 

"I went to the Imagination to look for you, because I wanted to apologize," Janus said, finally cutting through the silence. He then glanced at Roman, "To say sorry to you.". Roman looked back at him, both confused and surprised. His eyebrows furrowed together, hesitating if he should believe the words that spilled from Janus' mouth. "Apologize?".

Janus took a deep breath before taking off his gloves at setting them aside. He then spoke up, "I know that you wouldn't be able to forgive me but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that... that I hurt you and manipulated you. Such a simple apology cannot fix the harm done but I'm willing to make it up to you.". He paused, gazing down at his bare, gloveless hands. 

Roman remained silent with his eyes trained on Janus only. He was trying to process what Janus had told him. That he was apologizing. To him. He was speechless. After a while, he cleared his throat and asked quietly. "Why?".

Janus looked up to meet Roman's gaze, his brows furrowing together, not understanding his question. "W-what do you mean by that?..." he queries, stammering with his words slightly. 

"Why now? Why are you apologizing to me just now, Janus?" Roman asked, there's a slight pain behind his voice. Hurt and betrayal in his tone. But he tried not to show it on his face. Despite the pain Janus had caused him, he still loved him. His eyes never leave Janus as he waits for his response. 

Janus couldn't help but fiddle with his hands as he thought of a reply to Roman's difficult question and averted his eyes away from the creative facet for a moment. "I don't know... I only wanted to apologize. I had to apologize to you...". He muttered the last part softly under his breath. "...I suppose I am sorry. Though I don't expect you to forgive me.". 

Roman clicked his tongue as he clenched his fists on his sides, his emotions fighting against each other within him. "You're not answering my questions right. Why, Janus? Why would you bother to apologize just now?!". His voice cracked, tears threatening to form as he fought hard to keep his voice level. He could've sworn he saw Janus flinch when he raised his voice but maybe he was imagining it. 

"Because if I don't apologize to you then it's no use. I have already apologized to Virgil and fixed our relationship, but I still owe you an apology. I can't change the past anymore and... and it has to be fixed somehow, I have to fix this somehow... " Janus replied frustratedly as he rambled on. "I made mistakes, and I have underestimated and used you for my gain. I only wanted to be heard and acknowledged, and you did listen and believe me,".

"Yet I was too much of a fool and betrayed your trust, I took advantage of your naivety. I hurt you, Rom—"

"Enough..."

Roman cut him off immediately, stopping Janus mid-sentence. "I heard enough, Janus," he says, avoiding Janus' gaze as he takes a deep breath. He looks back up after a few moments, locking their gazes together again, his gaze softening. “I loved you, Janus...”. His voice cracks, causing him to take another deep breath. “And I still do.”.

Janus froze and stared at Roman, his breath hitched in his throat at those words. “Y...you do...?” he croaked out, unable to form coherent sentences as he looked up at Roman with wide eyes. His lips parted as he tried to speak but no sound came out. He swallowed dryly and blinked slowly a few times. "You really mean that...?" he whispered out.

"Fuck, do I have to repeat it? Yes, Janus! Yes, I fucking love you so much that I will let you fool me over and over again because I'm nothing but a complete idiot when it comes to you."

Roman exclaimed as tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, he bit his lip to stop himself from letting any more tears fall from his face, but they had already rolled down his cheeks, leaving a wet trail on his tanned skin. 

Janus was quiet at first, trying to process what he just heard. He blinked several times, his heart beating fast in his chest. He didn't know what to do or what to say, he was left speechless by Roman's confession. Roman truly did love him... just as much as he did. Without any thought, he got up from the bed despite the aching feel on his ankle and waist before throwing himself onto Roman. 

Roman caught him quickly and was about to question the other's reckless behavior when Janus suddenly pulled Roman closer and pressed their lips together in a soft and passionate kiss. The creative facet could only stare at the other with utter shock, frozen on the spot as he tried to comprehend what was happening. Then, as realization dawned on him, he closed his eyes and kissed back, his arms wrapping themselves around Janus' waist carefully as support. 

Janus gripped onto Roman as if his life depended on him. Oh how foolish he was, oh so foolishly in love with the man he had hurt. How could be so stupid not to realize his feelings for him sooner?! Janus hadn't realized that tears already spilled out of his eyes as he kissed Roman desperately, so so desperately. His heart had yearned for him for a long while now, but he simply refused to acknowledge it before. Now, it feels like everything makes sense. 

A few minutes had passed and both of them eventually pulled away from each other, their eyes locked as they took deep breaths, both panting from the kiss. Once the air was clear between the two once more, Janus spoke up again. "Roman...I love you. I love you." He stated, cupping Roman's face and stroking his thumbs across his cheekbones gently, wiping the fallen tears from Roman's cheeks.

Roman stared at him, eyes blown wide. He didn't know if he should believe Janus, what if this was yet another lie? His heart cannot handle any more pain anymore. But Janus seemed genuine with his words... what if he did love Roman as much as he did? His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before finally speaking up, his voice shaking with emotion. “...I don't know anymore, Janus. I don't know if I should believe you or not.".

He mutters as he leans down and presses his forehead against Janus'. "But I want to trust you... I want to give you another chance. One more chance. Promise me that— that we will make this work, for once. For the both of us.". Roman pulled away slightly, cupping Janus' cheeks in his hands, staring at him with pleading and desperate eyes. 

Janus grabbed onto Roman's wrists gently as he stared back at him, a small smile forming on his lips as he leaned onto Roman's touch. "I don't believe in promises but I want to try. I want to make this whole thing between us work.". He admits, tilting his head up towards Roman. "For the both of us.". 

-------

Writing Taglist: @cutebisexualmess @extraintrovertedalien (please tell me if you want to be added or removed in the tag list)

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #roman sanders sides #ts roman #ts roman sanders #tss roman #tss roman sanders #janus sanders #janus sanders sides #ts janus #ts janus sanders #tss janus #tss janus sanders #roceit #roceit fanfiction #roceit fanfic #ross-writes-stuff

[loganslowdown4]

‼️New Playlist‼️

My friend Therese @reseaseo wrote a Roceit fic on AO3 called Riptide and I loved it so I made a playlist for it! ❤️💛

Enjoy!

Original Tumblr Post

Link To Fic on AO3

Link to Spotify Playlist

#reseaseo #sanders sides au #sanders sides fanfic #thomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #ts roman #Janus sanders #ts janus #roceit #ts roceit #romantic roceit #Patton sanders #Virgil sanders

[im-an-anxious-wreck]

Inspire

AO3 link

Summary: King Roman had never thought himself the fatherly type. He hadn't had the best example growing up, his father had been… negligent at best.

And while everyone had always praised Roman's father for being a good king, a good father, they did not.

But somehow, despite never expecting to be any sort of fatherly figure or even a mentor, Roman takes a young magical boy in as his ward. What was Roman supposed to do? Just leave Patton in the hands of the awful person who was misusing him for his magic? Hah, Roman thought not.

Will Roman be able to help Patton fit in? Or will he end up just like his father?

Warnings: cursing, kissing, very mild injury, poison/poisoning (doesn't go into gorey detail), some child abuse in the beginning that will probably be referenced later (all sides are sympathetic though)

Universe: Magic/royal au

Perspective/main character: Roman

Side/secondary characters: Patton, Janus, Logan

Appear: Virgil, Remus, Remy, Emile

Romantic relationships: Roceit, background established Dukexiety 

Platonic relationships: Roman and Patton, Janus and Logan, Roman and Logan, Janus and Patton

Word Count: 17,458

Link to my collection of TSS fanworks

Any historical inaccuracies are sponsored by this is a fantasy world and I do what I want

This is my second fic for @ts-storytime's big bang challenge!

You can find the adorable art by @thebestworstidea here!!

Thanks to @threecrowsinatrenchcoat for beta-ing!

-

Roman had never thought himself the best person, nor a particularly great king, but he tried. He did what he could, he did his best, and hoped it was enough. It'd… he'd have to be enough.

He couldn't do everything, and what he did do had to be within the confines of the law, but he couldn't stand by and do nothing. Not when Logan had broken into the castle just to see the library before he died of starvation, and not when he heard a blacksmith yelling at a kid for letting the fire get too low.

And it was no wonder it had gotten so low, the kid looked absolutely exhausted and was— by Remus' morning star, the kid was using fire magic! Why the kid couldn't have been more than ten, and yet he'd clearly been doing sustained fire magic. Even Roman would be exhausted from doing that all day.

The kid wimped and the flames jumped a bit higher, only fueling the fire raging in Roman's gut on the kid's behalf.

"Deep breath," Roman's adviser, Janus whispered. "Pause, remember your intentions, then act."

Roman's chest expanded and contracted with air as he set his intention. Get the kid to safety and try not to don't start a fight. Easy.

Maybe he shouldn't have gone out in disguise today; his usual crown locked away back at the castle and a plain tunic and breeches underneath his red traveling cloak. 

Well, there was no point thinking about that now.

Roman walked up to the man, the clacking of his boots on the cobblestone echoing in his ears, and his form strengthened with far more confidence than he actually had. The man barely glanced up at Roman before continuing to ignore him so Roman pursed his lips and said, "Excuse me."

The blacksmith sighed in annoyance before finally looking up at Roman. "What?"

"Is that child yours?"

"Oh, Merlin's balls, what's he done now?"

"Well, nothing. It's actually—"

"Good, then fuck off."

"I— excuse me?"

"You heard me, Buckethead. Fuck. Off."

"Buckethead! I'm not even wearing my hel—"

Roman took another deep breath.

Get the child to safety.

"Sir, you're under arrest."

"What?!" The man squawked indignity. "What for? You can't do that!"

Roman paused for a moment. "Alright. Fair enough. Virgil!"

Virgil practically appeared out of nowhere next to Roman's shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Might I recommend that you arrest him for child abuse?"

"You most certainly can." Virgil's eyes narrowed at the blacksmith, looking at him with deep disgust. "Sir, you are under arrest for the mistreatment and abuse of a child under your care, as well as violating the Worker Safety and Protection Act." 

Virgil made a small gesture and two knights down the busy street left their posts and put the man in iron cuffs.

The man turned towards Roman, glaring at him as he roared, "Who do you think you are?! Getting me arrested by the damn captain of the guard for him," He snarled, jerking his head back to the shop briefly, "For him doing magic!"

"Ah, sorry. I suppose I did forget to introduce myself. I'm Roman. King Roman Sanders." 

A man just spluttered dumbfoundedly.

Roman resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead continuing, "Also the problem really isn't with magic, it's with you mistreating him. Good day."

The man tried to argue more —seriously, does he not have any self-preservation?— but Roman had already walked around him to where the young boy was watching the whole ordeal from the corner of the blacksmith shop.

Roman crouched down a little ways away from the child, not wanting him to feel trapped. "Hello."

The boy stared at him for a moment before softly saying, "Hi."

Roman smiled gently at him. "It's nice to meet you. My name's Roman."

"Yeah… I heard."

"Ah, I see. What's your name?"

"...Patton."

Roman had planned to take Patton to an orphanage, but something about how he held himself, something about how he was curled into a tight ball, eyes glittering with equal parts fear and curiosity, it made him think of when he'd found Virgil in his early twenties. Virgil was only five years younger than Roman, and, despite being a teenager at the time, he'd looked so young and small; a symptom from being in one of the neighboring kingdoms' children army.

Patton glanced up at Roman and then down again before finally settling on his hands, and Roman knew, he knew that he'd be taking another person into his small but apparently ever-growing family. Only if Patton wanted him to though, of course.

Roman's knees started to ache so he gently sat down, careful not to make any sudden moves. "How would you like to live with me in the castle?"

"...I don't have any money."

"Ah, no, you wouldn't have to pay."

"Oh… what would you want me to do then? Maybe my magic could be useful to you in some way?"

Roman could practically feel his heart sink in his chest. "I'm not taking you in to be useful, young one."

"Oh…" Patton frowned, considering Roman's words, and Roman let him. "Can— may I ask why you're taking me in then?"

"That's a good question… one that I don't completely know the answer to. But I do know that you didn't deserve to suffer, and I want you to be taken care of. And I'm going to personally make sure that you always have somewhere to stay and be safe, okay?"

"Okay, I— thank you. If you ever change your mind though, I understand."

"I'm quite sure that I won't. Even if you didn't want to live in the castle anymore, I'd still make sure that you have a safe place to live."

"Oh, well that… thank you, sir."

"Now how about we pack anything of yours and then you can meet my two friends, alright?"

"Alright. I'll be very quick, sir."

"That's fine. I'm not in a rush though."

…

After they grabbed Patton's small amount of clothing, they met up with Virgil and Janus, both seeming to take to the child well.

Virgil's guard's had taken the blacksmith away and so the four of them walked to the point where they were to meet the carriage to take them back to the castle.

Roman looked at the child, mind already whirring with all the things he'd need. Patton would definitely need clothes and tutors, a room… there were a few in the royal wing that he might potentially like.

"Patton?"

Patton's eyes snapped to Roman. "Yes?"

"Do you have a favourite colour?"

"Mm… yeah."

"Well, mine's red."

Patton still didn't say his so Virgil declared, "Bet you can't guess mine!" As they made a show of adjusting his purple cape.

Patton almost seemed to be holding back a small smile. "Purple?"

Virgil lightly gasped. "You got it right! What about your favourite colour, Jan?"

"My favourite is definitely the colour of vomit." 

Virgil rolled his eyes, and pretended to scold Janus, saying, "Janus Hierophant, your favourite colour is definitely not vomit."

"Alright, fine, Virgil Storm, it's whatever the ugliest colour you can think of is then."

"No, it's yellow!" Patton added, eyes bright as his lips curled upwards ever so slightly.

They all stopped walking and stared at Patton, whose face instantly fell, shoulders hunched. 

"Sorry," Patton mumbled.

"You're fine… and right. I'm not sure how you knew that as I'm wearing all black today… but you're right."

"Um… I don't really know either. Sometimes I just know stuff," Patton said as they all continued walking.

"Ah, I see. You might have some intuition-based magic then. What's my favourite animal?"

"...You say it's snakes, but it's actually honey badgers." 

Virgil whistled low. "Damn, lying to us, Jan? How dare you." 

Virgil said it in such an obviously joking tone that Roman didn't even realise how it might come across to Patton until he heard a small sniffle behind him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get Mr. Hierophant in trouble!"

Janus' demeanor shifted instantly. "You're fine, I'm not in trouble. They were just teasing me."

"...Okay. 'M still sorry."

"It's alright," Janus soothed. "No one's mad."

Patton nodded, eyes still darting around like someone was suddenly going to be angry.

Roman decided to change the conversation, hoping that that might help ease Patton's fear. "Oh, I never got the chance to ask you, Patton, what's your favourite colour?" Technically he'd only asked if Patton had a favorite color, so since the child had taken it so literally, Roman needed to be more specific.

"...Blue, like the sky."

"Ooh, that's a very nice colour."

Patton nodded hesitantly.

Perfect, Roman knew exactly which room to give Patton. It couldn't be more suited for him unless Roman had magically known his tastes and decorated it accordingly.

Patton was absolutely going to love the blue walls with white clouds painted on them. It looked just like the sky and Roman could hardly wait for Patton to see it.

They stopped to get some food for lunch and pretty quickly after they'd paid for it, the carriage arrived.

As Patton ate his bread, looking out the window thoughtfully, Roman couldn't help but feel very grateful that he'd listened to Janus' apprentice. Not only was Logan very smart and learnt quickly, but he sometimes had visions.

That had been the entire reason for Roman's visit from his castle overlooking the valley to the town nestled down in the valley. Logan had said that the bear spirit of children and mistreated workers, Osha had come to him in a dream and told him that Roman needed to make a trip to town. She hadn't told Logan why, just that Roman would know what to do.

And although Roman hadn't realised it at the time, he really had known what to do.

-

Logan had only been at the castle for a few months, but had settled in quite well, quickly learning a lot from the many books he read and from being under Janus' care.

His dark brown eyes shone with the glitter of knowledge and curiosity, and Logan's curls were a lot healthier after the court physician and herbalist, Emile, had shown Logan some hair care that Logan hadn't had access to when he lived on the streets. 

Actually getting the nutrients Logan needed had also helped him flourish, his frame no longer so thin and boney.

It was almost hard to believe that it'd only been a few months, but at the same time it almost seemed like longer; Logan fit right in.

Roman sat down in his room by the roaring fireplace.

Roman's recent meeting of Patton had made him think of when Janus had taken Logan in…

~

Roman was looking over some information about his kingdom in his private study when his adviser, Janus came in, escorting a boy about fifteen. They both walked to the middle of the room.

"Your majesty," Janus said curtly with a nod.

Roman set down the documents, now fully turning to face the both of them, taking in the boy's mismatched, worn, ill-fitting —albeit clean— clothes and cracked glasses. The boy's hair was in rather loose, uneven corn rows, it looked like he'd most likely done them himself and without the aid of a mirror.

"Yes?" Roman asked.

"I… I'd like you to hear me out before you cast your judgment."

Roman furrowed his brow, glancing at the boy again. "I always try to, but I will make extra sure that I do this time. What happened?"

"This young man broke into the castle—"

"I didn't break in. Nothing was broken."

"...Alright." Janus conceited, despite usually being no-nonsense and absolutely hating being interrupted. "He snuck into the castle without permission, and into our main library without being detected."

"Well, it seemed like he was detected at some point."

"I— yes. I found him in there reading a book, but that's not the point."

"Then what is the point? I presume that there's more to the story, otherwise you would've dealt with it yourself."

"Of course. I'd never waste your time like that. He's an orphan and wanted to see the great library before he died of hunger," Janus said, voice even more emotionless than usual.

"Alright… So, wh—" Then it hit Roman. 

Janus was standing slightly in front of the boy; right arm slightly out, not to keep the boy back, but to keep the boy from Roman; Janus' face and voice had been professional at best, and purposely flat at the worst. Janus… cared about the boy, but was trying not to show it. Hmm…

"Ah, I see."

"...You do?" Janus asked, almost apprehensively.

"Yes, I do. Do what you see fit and let me know if you need something, anything from me."

"Oh… I mean, yes, alright. Thank you." Janus finally dropped the arm he'd been half holding in from of the boy, clearly no longer concerned that the boy's wellbeing was in danger.

Roman looked at the boy. "So, you really wanted to see our library before you died?"

The boy's eyes looked slightly afraid, but he hid it about as well as Janus did. "Yes, sire. I figured if I was going to die, I might as well have seen the most magnificent library in the kingdom, or die trying."

"How would you feel about being an apprentice instead of that death you seem to be so sure is going to happen soon?"

"An apprenticeship?"

"With me," Janus cut in. "If you'd like." Janus turned to look at the boy easier. "You'd learn all sorts of things. An advisor must be knowledgeable in a lot of different subjects after all. But you absolutely can say no. There'd be no consequences for doing so as I'd simply just find a good orphanage for you to live in. And I understand if you need some time to think it ov—"

"Yes," The boy said, almost desperately, interrupting Janus for the second time.

But Janus didn't seem to mind, only looking at the boy in surprise. "...Yes, you'd like more time to think it over, or yes, you'd like to be my apprentice?"

"Yes, I'd like to be your apprentice… please."

"Oh, right. I— great. Um… would you like me to find public housing for you, or would you rather stay here in the castle? I believe there's some quarters near mine, you know, that way if you needed anything, I'd be right there."

"In the castle would be preferable, thank you."

"Right… and of course we'll need to stop by the seamstress… perhaps after you bathe though. Oh, and you'll need new glasses. Do you want a haircut?"

"Yes, please."

"So the barber as well…"

"Well," Roman said, clapping his hands together gently. "I don't suppose I'm needed for this part, and besides, Janus has been quite firm that I need to memorize all twenty of these pages before my meeting tomorrow, so I should really be getting back to them."

Janus rolled his eyes. "I definitely most did not tell you to memorize them. Just a run-through is fine."

"Well, no matter. I have pages to read, and Janus needs to show you to your quarters and take care of your other necessities. Ah, and perhaps a visit to the physician and then subsequently the kitchen."

"Oh, of course. Good idea."

Roman felt a bit bad just calling the boy… well, 'the boy' all the time. "What's your name?"

"My name is Logan, sire."

"Well, as you might know, I'm Roman." Roman held his hand out and shook the bo— Logan's hand. 

"I… am aware."

"Well, let me formally welcome you to the castle. I hope you enjoy your time here and don't hesitate to let me or Janus know if you need anything. Oh, and you should know, now that you're the royal advisor's apprentice, you'll have access to the very exclusive Royal Library as well as the one that's open to all people who live here. We call it the Grand Library."

Logan's eyes widened in shock. "Really? I can visit not only the Grand Library, but the Royal Library as well?"

"That's right."

"Wow… oh, er, thank you."

"You're welcome, Logan. I know you'll appreciate and take care of the books."

"Yes, I will, sir."

Roman smiled at Logan before turning to Janus. "I expect him to shadow you for at least a week before he's left on his own outside of his room."

Janus inclined his head. "Of course, your majesty."

~

Roman smiled to himself. 

He'd been a little unsure about Logan but his magic hadn't felt anything off and if anything had actually pulled Roman to Logan. Roman suspected that Janus had felt that same magical pull, especially seeing how protective of Logan he was, and how quickly he grew to care for the boy.

It was easier to recognise that pull Janus had to Logan now as Roman had felt it towards Patton just that morning. 

Roman sighed and began pacing again.

Logan knew what it felt like to be new to the castle and from a bad situation, maybe he'd have some advice for Roman. He really felt out of his depth here.

Janus had been the one to arrange for everything that Logan had needed, so Roman really didn't know what to do. Despite taking in several people, he still didn't feel very good at it.

Maybe he should ask Janus as well.

Roman walked through the halls, his red, detachable cape billowing out behind him as castle workers moved out of his way and bowed their heads in respect.

It was late afternoon and Roman suspected that Janus and Logan were probably either in the Royal Library or in Janus' office. However, the library was a bit more likely at the moment.

Roman nodded to the guard outside the door and flung both doors open a bit more dramatically than perhaps was necessary. The guard closed them behind Roman.

Logan looked up from his book from where he sat in an armchair, Janus in the other one, and Roman could practically feel Janus' eye roll.

"Good day, sire," Logan greeted as he stood and bowed. "Mr. Hierophant filled me in with what transpired this morning, I'm glad my prophecy was useful."

Roman gestured for Logan to sit as he said, "And I as well. That's what I wished to discuss actually. I'd imagine that the castle took some getting used to when you had first arrived, and so I was hoping you might have some advice to make Patton feel more welcome. Also, that Janus might have something as well. I know he orchestrated a lot of your care."

"Well," Janus said, drawing out the word in his elongated speech pattern, "That doesn't sound like it could be a long conversation, don't sit down." Janus summoned a chair close to his and Logan's. "I can tell when you're feeling awkward while standing after all."

After Roman sat down he laughed lightly. "True, you did teach me how to hide it somewhat though."

"May I ask how long the both of you have known each other?"

"Of course, Logan. I don't pretend to speak for Janus, but unless I am otherwise occupied with royal duties, you may always ask me questions. If I don't have the answer or want to answer, I'll just state as such."

"I believe I've told you something similar about questions relating to knowledge," Janus said. "But I shall extend it to the length that our king has."

"Ah, but to answer your question," —Roman briefly glanced at Janus for permission to share, catching the small squint of approval which was most likely unnoticed by Logan (despite his wonderful observant skills), before Roman continued— "We've known each other about… well, since my coronation at eighteen, he was only fifteen so I waited a few years to let him learn more and get more experience and exposure to other cultures. 

"Everyone tried to get me to take an older adviser, and I did assemble a small council of elders for some matters of advice and to keep me in check, I especially needed their advice while Janus was traveling and learning, but I just knew that Janus was supposed to be my personal and the head advisor. Even though he was only nineteen when I made his position official, he was and still is wise beyond his years."

"My my, getting sappy on me, my king?" Janus jested.

"Always," Roman joked, affection for his adviser and friend warming his chest.

There was a small pause before Logan said, "Ah, I got us off topic with my question, I believe you were asking about things you could do to make Patton feel more comfortable?"

Roman finally looked away from Janus. "Yes, that's correct."

"Well, I'd imagine— er…" Logan exhaled. "From experience, I know that since he's most likely dealt with food scarcity, it's important to make sure that he has a good relationship with food, even if it takes a while to get there. I'd recommend making a plan with Dr. Picani."

"Mm, good idea."

"Perhaps we could give him some non-perishable snacks that he could keep in his room," Janus suggested. "That way he can hide them wherever he wants and doesn't have to worry about them being taken away."

"Yes, that's a good idea as well. I'll talk to Emile about getting the nutrition he needs as well as the head chef about non-perishable snacks. Thank you both for the help." 

Roman stood and Logan hastened to do the same before bowing.

"You're welcome, sire."

Roman inclined his head. Even though he'd told Logan that he didn't have to stand and bow every time Roman came and went —especially in close company—, he still seemed to feel the need to anyway.

"See you later, my king," Janus said in that sly tone that suggested that he knew something the other person didn't, although Roman couldn't think what, so it was most likely that Janus was just messing with him.

"Have a good rest of your day."

As Roman went back to his kingly duties, he couldn't get Janus' soft smirk out of his head.

…Well, Janus did have a rather nice face.

-

In hindsight, maybe Roman should have realised that throwing a big party to announce and introduce his ward wasn't the best idea for a traumatised kid.

He felt bad but it was why he was all the more grateful that Logan had told him to give Patton somewhere to go to if he was feeling overwhelmed.

Roman wasn't sure if Patton would want company, but he'd at least check on him while Janus distracted some of the guests. Janus could be quite crafty and easily turned people's attention away from disappearing royal members. His charm seemed to naturally come to him in an almost genuine way, and if Roman hadn't seen him without it, hadn't seen his snide, passive aggressiveness, and sarcastic nature behind closed doors, he'd have no idea that wasn't Janus' genuine personality.

Roman sighed. He really didn't get out to the maze often enough, he was pretty sure that he was pretty lost and wasn't quite sure how to fix that problem. Fire magic was certainly out of the question, the gardener —an older, pleasant enough woman— would not be happy about a path carved through, even if Roman kept it contained and didn't burn down the whole maze. She loved plants and took pride in her work, besides, it just seemed like a shame to mess up part of the maze like that just because Roman was bad when it came to outdoor directions.

Ah, what was it that Janus had said? Stick to the left wall and as long as the maze itself doesn't change, that even if it takes longer, eventually you'll find the exit. Or in this case, the center.

Roman walked along the left hedge wall with his hand running along it for a minute before a sudden pain blossomed between his first finger and thumb.

"Ah!" Roman frowned at the bleeding cut. While he was proficient in some kinds of magic, healing magic was certainly not his forte.

Roman pulled out his red handkerchief and wrapped it around the wound —he could always deal with it later, right now he needed to check on Patton—, and continued walking.

It was several minutes before he came out into the large, open garden that was nicknamed 'The Jewel Of The Maze'. 

The fireflies glittered about, echoing the stars above as both were reflected in the water of the large fountain in the very center of the garden.

Patton and Logan sat side by side on a bench that faced the fountain and it sounded like they were talking quietly but any conversation died down as Roman approached them.

Logan inclined his head towards Roman. "Greetings."

"Hello, Logan. Hello, Patton." 

Patton didn't say anything, just looked at his twisting fingers in his lap.

Roman walked closer and sat on the edge of the fountain wall directly in front of Patton and Logan. "I'm sorry, Patton."

"...What for? I'm the one who ran away for no reason."

"It didn't seem like no reason to me."

"He's right, Patton. You were overwhelmed and needed a break. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I completely understand getting overwhelmed, we may have gone a bit overboard with the guest list." Roman huffed. "Actually, I'd disappear from parties and events frequently. Fortunately, Janus is good at keeping a crowd entertained, and sometimes even from noticing key guests' absences or at the very least explaining where they've gone that's an acceptable excuse for the public. So take all the time you need."

"Okay, thank you."

"Of course. Really that was bad planning on my part, but I'll do better next time."

"Still, I should've been able to handle it."

"I don't see how you healthily could've," Logan said not unkindly. "I presume it was your first event of that magnitude?"

"...Yeah."

"Also, it was a lot of people and noise, and a lot of focus on you. You'd never been to an event like that before, so it's quite understandable that you needed a break. You handled it quite well, and I'm glad you recognised that you needed to leave and then did so before you were really overwhelmed and possibly had an anxiety attack or began crying. You did well under the circumstances."

"Oh, I— thanks, Logan."

Logan gave Patton a small smile. "You're welcome."

Patton looked back at Roman before saying, "Oh! What happened to your hand?"

Roman looked down at his handkerchief-wrapped hand to see if maybe he'd bled through it, but he hadn't. "Ah, I cut it on a branch in the maze."

Patton frowned before standing up and walking over. "May I see it please?"

"I… suppose so?"

Patton carefully unwrapped Roman's hand and examined it, turning it this way and that. "Hmm." 

A little ball of floating light appaired a few feet above them and Roman belatedly realised that Patton must've summoned it with his magic.

"So, what's the diagnosis, physician?" Roman joked.

"Oh, it's just a small cut, the blood around it just makes it seem bigger than it is, but we don't want it to get sick so—"

"Sick?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, when it's all extra painful, and it's all pink."

"Ah, there's a word for that: infection. So it'd be 'we don't want it to get infected'."

"Oh, okay. You're so smart, Logan!"

Logan smiled softly. "Thank you." 

"You don't have to worry about me, Patton. I'll take it to Emile in a bit."

"Yeah, you could. Or… well, I could just heal it."

"You can do that?"

"Yeah, isn't… isn't it the easiest kind of magic?"

Roman smiled. "Well, it depends. Magicians tend to have a category or two of magic that comes easier to them. Healing magic is pretty much impossible for me, but it could certainly be the kind of magic that you excel in."

"Oh, that's cool. Um, is it okay if I heal it?"

"If you want to. I really don't mind taking it to Emile though."

"Okie dokie." Patton focused on the wound and raised his hand just above it.

Roman blinked and the cut was gone, even the blood that'd been drying around it had vanished. "Exemplary!" He flexed his hand experimentally. It didn't even ache. 

"That was most impressive," Logan complimented. 

"Oh." Patton beamed under their praise. "Thanks."

Roman patted the fountain wall next to him and Patton sat down next to him.

"What other types of magic do you know?" Logan asked.

"Well, I…" Patton's shoulders drooped a bit. "Um, I guess I can sustain fire magic for hours at a time, I don't really like to though."

"Ah, of course. Apologies, I didn't mean to—"

"No, it's okay!" Patton winced. "Ach, wait, sorry. Sometimes I just interrupt without thinking."

Roman assured, "It's alright, Patton. We know it wasn't on purpose. You were just trying to assure Logan."

"Yeah."

"Oh, hey, Patton? Would you like for me to show some more magic?"

Patton's eyes widened. "Really?! Uh, I mean… if you want to, I'd really like that."

"I want to. Here, hold your hand out like this." Roman held his palm out towards the starry sky and Patton copied him. Roman pushed a bit of his magic to the center of his hand and up, forming a red butterfly.

"Oh! Cool! Can I try?"

"Of course! There's some magic that might be a bit more tricky or even dangerous that you wouldn't want to do without the proper precautions, but a simple energy construct

is perfectly harmless."

"Okay." Patton focused on his hand and after a few seconds a small, sky-blue butterfly appeared, it was slightly translucent and quite sparkly as beginner magicians' constructs tended to be. Patton gasped excitedly. "I did it!"

"You sure did!"

"Hm, that's interesting," Logan said absentmindedly.

"What's interesting?"

"Ah, just that your magic is red which seems to be at least one of your favourite colours, and Patton's is a light blue which is his. In addition, I've seen Janus' magic glow yellow which seems to be his as it's the only colour other than black that he wears."

"Very astute observation, Logan. When making constructs with one's magic it's the favourite colour of the person… well, or at least one they like a lot. Not everyone necessarily only has one favourite colour. But anyway, you're right. Another magician you know would be Remus, his favourite colour is green, hence why he wears it a lot."

"That's coo—" Patton lost concentration and the butterfly disappeared. "Oops, sorry." He put his hand down again.

"It's alright. It's easy to do! I was impressed that you held it as long as you did, and especially after you'd made the butterfly on the first try after having only seen me do it once." Roman dropped his hand and his butterfly vanished as well. "Do you think you're ready to go back to the party, or shall we call it a night and go to bed?"

"Um…"

"Either is a perfectly acceptable option."

"Okay… I think I wanna try the party again. I'm a bit more ready since I know what to expect this time."

"Alright. Oh, I do want to apologise again for not preparing you properly. I should've warned you better and tried to do something to make it not as overwhelming. Like for one thing, the guest list was far too long. I should've kept it smaller."

"Well… it is what it is. It's easy to say 'oh I should've done this or that' but you didn't know then what you know now."

"That's very true, Patton."

"You're quite emotionally intelligent."

"Thanks, Logan."

"What about a background blocker? I don't know how to do it, but I know that Janus does."

"Hmm, what does it do exactly?"

"It just muffles the background noise so that it's not as overwhelming. You can still have conversations and notice if someone's yelling for whatever reason, but other people's chatter isn't as loud."

"That sounds good… oh, well, as long as it's not too difficult."

"I don't think it would be for him, but we can ask." Roman turned to Logan. "Did you want to go with us, Logan?"

"Sure. I might retire a bit early though, I'd like to finish my book on Sir Charles the third before I sleep."

"Sounds good." Roman stood up, Patton and Logan following him to an opening into the maze. "Uh… you wouldn't happen to know the way, would you Logan?"

"No, sire."

"Hmm…"

"I think I do," Patton piped up. "I knew which way to go before getting here."

"Ah, your intuition magic must've kicked in— Wait, then how did Logan get through it?"

"I followed Patton."

"Well, then." Roman bowed with one hand on his chest and the other one out, gesturing to the opening in the maze. "After you, oh great guide."

-

"Patton!" Roman cried out, feeling his blood go cold and stomach drop as Patton collapsed.

Janus was only just able to catch Patton before he fell to the stone floor.

Roman rushed over. "Is he okay?"

"...Yes, for now. He's breathing and his pulse is a bit erratic, yet somehow slow, but it's there."

Virgil all but ran up, eyes darting around in suspicion. "Give him here, we need to get him to Emile. Remy! Damnit, where are yo—"

"Here! Right here." Remy's usual smirk was nowhere to be found, a serious and focused look on his face instead.

"Okay, lock it down. I'm taking Patton to the infirmary."

"Yes, sir."

Logan smelled the cup that Patton had been drinking from and frowned. "Mr. Hierophant, would you please come smell this?"

Janus carefully tucked Patton in Virgil's arms before taking the goblet from Logan, and after smelling it, his expression also soured. "It's poisoned."

"That's what it seemed like to me as well."

Roman glanced around the dining hall before he bit his lip momentarily and said, "Okay. Janus, can you help the guards lock everything down? You're so much better with smoothing things over."

"Of course. Logan, come with me."

"Yes, sire."

Roman was just about to rush after Patton but quickly turned back to Janus. "Oh, wait, give me the goblet. I'll take it with me for Emile to identify." 

…

This was all Roman's fault. 

Who would poison Patton? He was just a kid, and an extremely sweet one at that.

Had that cup been intended for Roman? Or had someone just wanted to get at Roman by poisoning his ward?

Roman sighed and looked over at the unconscious Patton, wishing he was just sleeping instead.

Emile was currently in his office examining the poison and Roman just hoped he could make a cure from it.

It'd only been a short while since he'd arrived in the infirmary, but Roman's worry seemed to stretch the time far, far longer.

Eventually, Emile came out of his office, a solemn frown on his face.

Roman rushed to stand, almost knocking his chair over in the process. "What news have you?"

"Well, it's curable."

"That's—" Roman cut himself off. "I'm sensing a 'but'."

Emile nodded as he pushed up his glasses. "But the cure is quite a ways away."

"Of course it is," Roman said bitterly. "Where and how far away exactly?"

"The cure can be made from the flowers of the moondrop plant, but the dragon witch hordes all the known plants."

"Right. Will…" Roman gently looked at Patton. "Will you stay with him while I hold council?"

"Of course, Roman. I won't leave this room."

"Alright. Thank you, Emile."

…

Roman sat in the smaller of his two council rooms, around a round table with Virgil and Janus on his left and right respectively. Remus' and Emile's chairs stood empty as Remus was out of town and Emile was with Patton. Logan stood behind Janus' chair.

"Logan, you may as well sit in Emile's chair as he's watching over Patton under my request."

"Yes, sire." Logan sat down on Janus' other side.

"How is he?" Virgil asked.

"Emile's got him stable enough for now, but he needs the cure sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, the dragon witch is the only known person who has moondrops."

Janus pursed his lips. "Ah, that's at least a two-day journey. I'd like permission to be the one to get it."

"Granted."

"Sire, if I may." Logan adjusted his glasses.

"Of course, Logan. What is it?"

"I'd like permission to go as well."

"You're still rather young…" Roman thought back to all the adventures he and Remus had gone on when they were Logan's age and even younger. "But you've proven yourself quite adaptive, smart, and your self-defence fighting has come a long way. So, I will let Janus decide whether or not you'll go as he's the one leading this mission."

Janus nodded before he turned to Logan and considered him for a moment. "Alright. You may come, but if it gets too dangerous I want you to hide, and if you feel in over your head you tell me immediately. Those are my terms."

"Thank you. I accept your terms, sir."

Roman nodded once. "Good, now that we have that settled…" He turned to Virgil. "Virgil, do we know who's responsible for this disgusting act?"

"I believe so, yes. One Sir Richard Huxley."

His magic and anger burned in his stomach as Roman tried not to outright demand, "Why would be want to poison Patton? Is he planning a larger attack and this is just the start?"

"We suspect that the poisoned goblet was intended for you but got mixed up and Patton got it instead. I don't think he had a plan beyond this, but the castle is still on high alert in case anyone affiliated with him or opportunists want to try anything. Remy's talking with him right now, so we'll see what he can get out of him in regards to his plans."

Roman exhaled, letting some of the anger and tension leave his body. It wouldn't help Patton if his mind was clouded with anger. "Alright. Janus, Logan, start preparing for your departure as soon as possible, and may Osha guide you." Roman turned to Virgil. "Keep me informed, Virgil. I want to know as soon as you have more information. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the infirmary." The 'with Patton' went unsaid, but still was present as if it had been.

…

Roman was exhausted, a weariness settled deep into his bones, but he wouldn't, couldn't go to bed. He… he needed to be there in case something happened. It just didn't feel right to leave Patton here, even if the first mate of the guard, Remy, was standing watch just outside the infirmary doors.

Emile had long since gone to bed, but perhaps he could stay with Patton for a few hours the next morning while Roman got a bit of rest.

Roman sighed as he scrubbed his face with his hands.

He'd only do that if he really needed to. Sure, Emile would be here anyway, and Roman trusted Emile with his life —and had on several occasions before— but he couldn't help but feel that something bad would happen if he left Patton's side.

He just… needed to be here.

The door opened, startling Roman. All sleepiness left him as his senses went sharp and alert. His sword wasn't quite in arm's reach but it could be in a sec— Roman's shoulders sagged in relief when he saw that it was just Remus.

Remus looked almost a bit sheepish. "Hey, didn't mean to make you jump."

"It's fine."

"Burning the midnight oil, huh?"

"Yeah." Roman looked at Patton's sickly pale face, guilt twisting in his gut. 

What was the point of all his wealth and power if he couldn't prevent someone under his care from getting poisoned?

Roman looked back at Remus. "Didn't know you were back."

"Yeah, got the messenger fox and hightailed it back. Knew you'd need me here."

"Thanks." Roman pulled the blanket a bit higher on Patton.

Remus hummed before dragging a chair over by Roman's, not caring in the slightest as it made a screeching noise against the stone floor.

Roman huffed almost lightly. "You know how much Emile doesn't like it when you do that."

Remus smirked. "Why do you think I do it?"

Roman shook his head fondly. "He's going to make you remove the gouges and marks again."

"Well, that's just fine. 'S not like I'm gonna run out of magic."

Roman looked away to hide his small smile, but it easily fell when he saw Patton.

"He's gonna get better," Remus said, unusually solemn.

"...I hope so."

"He will," Remus assured. "Janny and little Lo are gonna get the moondrop and Emile is gonna make the cure and he's gonna be okay. It'll just take a few days."

"What— what if he doesn't have a few days?"

"Well… I— he's strong, Ro. He'd have to be to survive the initial first wave. Obviously the poison is still in his veins and has attached itself to him, but the first hour is the most critical. Now it's just a matter of waiting 'till Janny gets back."

Roman sighed. "Right, I just— am worried."

"Which is perfectly understandable. I… I am too, but I think that Pat's strong enough. I mean, fuck, he took a big swig of a fatal to adults dose of poison, and has survived the afternoon and evening with a good prospect. What other nine-year-olds can say that?"

Roman hummed. "True. And I… I know that, it's just… hard." He sniffed.

"Aww, hey, he's gonna be okay, you both are. …It's gonna be a rough few days, huh?"

Roman nodded, not trusting his voice.

Remus scooted his chair closer and guided Roman's head onto chaos' shoulder, one arm wrapped around him and the other patting his hair.

"Yeah, just let it all out, Ro-bro. Let that fear and worries out. I'm right here."

Roman nodded and buried his nose into Remus' fabric, taking a shaky breath as he began to cry.

They stayed like that for several minutes as Roman cried his eyes out. He still felt shitty, but a bit better as he finally pulled away and wiped his red-rimmed eyes.

"How ya doin'?" Remus asked, speaking quietly so as not to break the fragile silence.

"...A bit better, I think. It's… I'm still extremely worried."

"Which is okay and to be expected."

"But it's not quite as overwhelming as it was."

"Well, good. Oh!" Remus pulled a brown paper sack out of one of his magically large pockets. "I brought you some food by the way."

"It's not poisoned, is it?" Roman tried to joke but winced as he glanced at Patton. "That was both poor timing and a poor joke."

Remus snorted. "Just my type of humour! But no, I 100% made it myself 'n everything. Not poisoned. Besides, I only poisoned you that one time!"

"It was twice."

"Oh, shit, really? When was the other time? Ohh! Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten about the summersnow moss I'd put in your apple mint pie." Remus shook chaos' head. "Man, that was so long ago."

"Hah, yeah. It sure was."

Remus hummed before handing Roman the brown paper sack. "Anyway, here ya go."

"Thanks." Roman took out the sandwich and had eaten a fourth of it before he realised and tried to slow down a bit.

"I figured you'd probably skipped supper 'cuz of the adrenaline and all the worry, besides, who doesn't love a midnight snack?"

"Strangely enough, Logan."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, he read in a book somewhere that it was bad for you and can cause indigestion if you eat too close to bedtime."

Remus laughed. "Mr. Know-it-all's got it all figured out, huh?"

"Mm, not really."

"Yeah, he's got a lot to learn. I mean, he's already learned so much, and quickly, but he's still got a ways to go. Well, not that learning is ever done… but anyway, there's still a ways 'till he's as ready for adulthood as he can be."

"Hah, true. Is anyone ever actually ready for adulthood? I know we sure weren't."

"Eh, maybe that's just a part of it. Part of learning to be ready for adulthood is the random shit that life throws at you while you're an adult."

"That is… surprisingly insightful of you."

"Well, you know me, full of surprises… and something else."

"Shit and hot air."

"Yep, bingo!"

Roman just rolled his eyes. Remus never got tired of that joke.

Roman finished his sandwich and put the bag on the nightstand near the infirmary bed before smoothing back Patton's hair and sitting down.

"I—" Roman frowned. "Wait, Patton has really great intuition, like, he told Janus that he may say his favourite animal is a snake, but that Patton knew that it was actually a honey badger."

"...Okay?"

"But then why didn't it go off when he was about to drink the poison? Does it not work for danger somehow? Because if that's the case, that'd be quite bad. That's when it'd be the most helpful."

"Oh, hmm… I would think it goes off for danger too, but then why… maybe— hm, yeah maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Okay, this may be one of my two good thoughts this year, but… maybe his intuition told him to drink it?"

"What? Why! Remus, that makes absolutely no sense."

"No, no, hear me out! From what I've heard, intuition can be frustratingly vague, but if it told him to take that one, he would, right?"

"...Yeah? I still don't see where you're going with this though."

"Well, maybe it knew that you wouldn't be able to handle that much and that volatile of a poison, but that Patton would. His internal healing powers are the only thing that kept him from death's door, right? Like I said, it would've been a fatal dose for an adult."

"I— you don't really think…" Roman exhaled deeply. "That certainly sounds like Patton. I could see his intuition guiding him to be poisoned to save my life, even if Patton didn't exactly understand all that at the time."

Remus hummed in agreement and they sat there, Roman watching Patton and Remus watching Roman.

"You need sleep," Remus finally said.

"...Yeah. I just— can't leave him, you know? How am I supposed to sleep when he's here, unconscious and sick?"

Remus exhaled before gently saying, "There's not anything you can do for him right now, nothing except take care of yourself."

"I… I should be here with him."

"And you have been, but he'd want you to take care of yourself. How are you gonna be awake enough to talk to him when he wakes after Emile gives him the cure if you haven't gotten much sleep? Sure, you'll accidentally fall asleep at some point, but you need proper rest."

"Well…" Roman blinked tiredly.

"Come on, Ro. I'll stay here all night… and may knock you out with my morning star if you say no," Remus teased in a sing-song tone. "So, let me spend some time with my basically-nephew. Okay?"

Roman's shoulders slumped and he knew that Remus was right. "Okay." Bed did sound particularly good right then, his achy muscles agreeing. "Just… keep him safe, okay?"

Remus nodded solemnly. "Of course, always."

"Alright…" Roman stood up and looked at Patton. "I'll see you both tomorrow."

"See you later! Can't believe you're making me be all responsible and shit," Remus joked.

Roman huffed. "Actually you volunteered— no, worse, threatened me, so it's only on you."

"Darn," Remus said sarcastically.

"Goodnight."

" 'Night!"

Roman walked to the double doors and opened one, slipping through. He looked back at Remus and Patton one last time, smiling softly as Remus began to read a storybook to Patton's sleeping form, and quietly shut the door.

Roman said 'goodnight' to Remy, put a small charm on the doors and went to bed.

It was going to be a long few days.

-

Roman almost cried in relief when Janus and Logan returned with Patton's cure, and did actually cry a bit when Patton woke up, wiping his damp eyes as he greeted Patton.

"Hey, Pat. How are you feeling?"

"Mm, throat hurts." Patton furrowed his brow and closed his eyes. "Head too."

Roman hadn't even opened his mouth to ask someone to get some water when Janus appeared by his elbow handing him a half-full glass.

Roman helped Patton drink and afterward, to settle back against the pillows. He set the cup on the bedside table in case Patton wanted more later.

There was so much he wanted to say to Patton; he wanted to say how very glad he was that he was okay, he wanted to thank him —and perhaps scold him just a bit— for drinking the poison that was meant for Roman… but instead, he just said, "Glad to see you awake. Um, Emile's making you some tea, by the way. I believe he said that it should help with the headache and sore throat that he figured you'd have. Uh, he also said that he can do some yarrow compresses for any aching muscles, but I'm getting ahead of myself."

Patton nodded before looking around the infirmary room, eyes landing on Janus and Logan who were hanging back to give them some space. "Hi," Patton said tiredly, but clearly glad to see them.

They came a bit closer as Logan said, "Hello, Patton. I'm glad to see that you're awake now."

"Glad to be awake. Is everyone okay?"

"Yes," Janus answered. "Everyone's okay. Virgil and Remy locked things down quickly and found the person who," Roman noticed the briefest hesitation, although he doubted that it was noticeable to the children, "Poisoned you."

"Oh, good. Was he working alone?"

"Fortunately, yes."

"Well, all's well that ends well."

Roman laughed. "I suppose you're right.

…

Patton soon fell asleep after that, but that was to be expected as he desperately needed the rest.

Logan sat on the bed next to Patton, claiming that it was so Patton wouldn't feel alone as he slept, but Roman knew that Logan was also sitting there to assure himself that Patton was indeed okay.

After Logan's eyes started drooping, Janus pulled himself up a chair next to Roman's and by the time he looked up, Logan was laying next to Patton, almost curled around him, and asleep as well.

"He had a big day," Janus murmured.

"Mm, we all did. I'd imagine that your quest was quite strenuous."

"It was, but he was quite remarkable," Janus murmured softly, nothing but pride in his voice.

"I have no doubt."

"I would tell you about it, but I believe he wanted to. It's pretty late though, and we had a long day." Janus gave a short quiet laugh. "Well, we all did. But I highly doubt that he'll wake up anytime soon, so it'll have to be tomorrow."

"Speaking of being late, you should go to sleep."

"So should you," Janus pointed out knowingly.

"Hey, I slept some…"

"I presume under threat by Remus?"

"...Yeah."

"That's what I thought, so now I'm the one threatening you," Janus said, voice light.

"Oh, really? And what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to squeeze you like a python."

"...So you're going to give me a hug? And here I thought it was going to be something I wouldn't like. Maybe I shouldn't go then."

"Okay, while that's an excellent point, you should still sleep."

"As should you. You've been traveling all day."

"And you've been watching over Patton all day. Go to bed."

"I will later. You go."

"I will later. You go," Janus mimicked.

"W—"

The door quietly opened and Virgil peered in before quietly shuffling in and closing the door behind himself. "Hey," Virgil whispered. "What's going on?"

"Roman won't go to sleep," Janus said.

Roman said at the same time, "Janus won't go to sleep."

Virgil huffed and seemed to be repressing a laugh. "Well, it's a good thing that I'm here to watch over Patton then." They glance at Logan's sleeping face. "And Logan now too."

"Oh, thank you."

"Sounds like a compromise to me," Janus said. "See you gents in the morning?"

Virgil gave a two-finger salute. "Of course, Jan."

"Goodnight," Roman said, accidentally sounding wearier than he meant.

Hopefully Patton would be a lot more awake and aware, and on the mend the next day.

…

The next day, Patton was well enough to get around with a cane, as long as someone was with him in case he fell, and if he took a few breaks. Fortunately, there were more than just a few benches throughout the castle, some even with a magnificent view of the surrounding rolling hills and autumn leaves.

It was a nice day and Emile had said that some sunshine would be good for Patton, so Roman decided that it'd be nice if they had a picnic lunch in the courtyard.

After they ate, Logan and Janus told of their quest to get the Moondrop plant for Patton.

"—And then after we'd gone through the tunnels in the mountain," Logan was saying, "There was a large dragon in an even larger cavern. Her scales glittered like silver and gold and smoke curled out of her nose. She seemed quite angry to be disturbed so Janus went into a fighting stance but we hadn't even tried any diplomacy yet. She was just angry because she'd rather be left alone and every so often people will try to fight her for her treasure, but once I explained our situation and that we didn't want to fight or her treasure, we had no problem getting along."

"We have a new ally now," Roman said.

"A new friend," Logan corrected. "She just wants to be left alone for the most part. Malcana —oh, that's her name by the way— said that we could visit though."

"That's really cool, Logan! You're so brave. Were you scared to face the big dragon?" Patton asked.

"Yes, but being brave is doing the right thing despite being scared, and I knew that Janus would get us out of there if it went wrong."

"Well, I'm glad I have your confidence," Janus said, a small and gentle smile on his face.

Roman was so glad that they were all okay, that his… his family was okay. Gratitude filled his heart as he looked from Patton to Logan to Janus.

They were going to be okay.

-

Roman had never felt such hot rage and betrayal in his life. In fact, the only time he'd ever been anywhere near this mad before was at the person who'd poisoned Patton.

Things had been going well, a little too well, in fact. So, Roman had expected something bad to happen… but this, this went beyond even Virgil's worrying and doomsday scenarios. 

Janus, the man who'd been by his side for over a decade, had been playing the long game, and who knows how much longer it would've gone on if a servant that'd worked for Janus' father —before he'd died eleven years prior—, hadn't come forward with the information that Janus' father had instructed Janus to get close to Roman and corrupt or overthrow him.

Roman almost didn't believe it, couldn't really. He'd thought, surely this person was lying, but he couldn't help but wonder… couldn't help but doubt.

So, he'd gone to talk to Janus about it, but it'd quickly gotten out of hand, Roman full-on accusing him of everything he'd heard.

But that hadn't been the worst part, Roman would've felt bad enough if Janus had been offended that he'd even suggested that, but he wasn't, he didn't deny it at all. And that was worse, way worse.

Janus just looked at the ground, something heavy and almost sad in his eyes. "I'm sorry—"

"I don't want your— your bullshit apologies. We've known each other for… fuck, for fourteen years and this entire time, you've been plotting behind my back! I have absolutely no idea to the extent of all the terrible, horrible things you've done, and what was done in my name. I just— I don't even know what to think, what even is the appropriate reaction and punishment for— for this!"

"If I could—"

"No, you can't! Be quiet," Roman growled.

Janus quieted instantly and Roman would've felt bad if Janus hadn't just utterly betrayed him. 

Roman rambled on, "After all these years, after I've trusted you for over a decade, only to find that you have betrayed me in this way. Do you know how many times I have stood up for you! What great conquests and burdens I had taken on for you at my own expense! It didn't really seem consequential at the time as I did it out of a place of love, but after…" Roman growled, low and frustrated. "You really are the snake they all claim you to be. Did you even poison Patton just to 'cure' him??"

This got Janus' attention as he jerked his head up. "Of course not—"

"How can I trust that you're telling the truth?! I can't help but wonder if you recruited Logan and forced him to work for you or face staying on the streets to starve to death!"

"No! I care for Logan dearly! Just— just let me explain myself, please!" Janus asked, practically begged, but Roman won't have it. 

"I—" Roman sighed deeply. "I'm too angry for this right now, but I'll consider it and… and what you've done later when I've calmed down."

"...Yes, sire."

Roman briefly considered putting Janus in jail, but that'd cause a scene and he really didn't want this to get out unless Roman chose to tell people.

Besides, Janus was such a skilled magician and had been the one to fortify it so there'd really be no point anyway. If he wanted to escape, Roman had no doubt that he could. He just hoped that he'd cooperate.

"I will escort you to your room where there will be a constant guard outside your door, and I'll be very pissed if you leave."

"I wouldn't," Janus said softly, and Roman almost believed him, until he remembered that he'd been lying to Roman since they'd first met years and years ago.

"I should hope you'd know well enough to stay, yes."

Roman opened the door to Janus' study without another word and led Janus through the halls they were both homely familiar with, closely keeping track of him, lest he disappear. 

Maybe he shouldn't have put the figurative backstabber in a position where he could be a literal backstabber, but Roman had thought it'd be awkward if he was hearding Janus along from behind, but now he wasn't sure. It was kind of too late anyway, it'd just seem like he had no idea what he was doing if he changed their positions now… although he really didn't know what he was doing, and Janus knew him so well that he no doubt knew that as well.

Roman had thought that he'd known Janus as well… but clearly not.

"...Where are we going?" Janus asked quietly like he knew how volatile Roman was because of course he did.

It was rather disturbing how well Janus knew him, and even more so that Roman had no idea what he knew about Janus. What had been truth and what had just been a fabrication?

"I thought I told you earlier," Roman almost winced at his snappish tone. "You're bound to your quarters."

"That's what I thought. Unless you moved them, my quarters are nowhere near here." Janus was still talking in that annoyingly gentle and careful tone. At least if he had been using his manipulating, honey-sweet voice Roman would feel more justified in being a jerk, but no, Janus had to be considerate sounding.

Maybe that was how he was trying to manipulate Roman? He would be more likely to know how to get on Roman's good side after all. Or maybe that's just how he was talking and Roman was putting stuff on him that wasn't there. It was practically impossible to tell and that really bothered Roman.

"Well… that's because we have a stop first." Roman took stock of where they were, trying to think of something. Oh! The guard's house was near here. Perfect. "I've got to get Virgil or Remy to guard your room."

"Mm, I see. Quick thinking."

Roman almost snapped at him, but he couldn't even tell if Janus was being sarcastic or not so he let it go.

The garrison was reasonably full for the time of early evening when Roman and Janus arrived; the change of the guard was fairly soon after all.

"Oh, hey, how can I help you gents?" Remy said after he took a big sip of his coffee.

"I need to talk to you and Virgil… in your office."

Remy's expression turned serious. "Of course. Cap Virgil's not here right now, he went to go check on the wallies —you know how they think they can get away with more just because they're all the way out on the castle wall—, but I can get someone to go get him if you want."

Roman resisted the urge to sigh. "...No, that's alright. I'll tell you and we can leave a note for when he returns. I just need one of you right now anyway."

They went into the office that Virgil and Remy shared and Remy shut the door behind them.

"Okay, so what's up? Something of national security I presume?"

"Yes, I— I'm not exactly sure how to say this but… Janus has been compromised and will need to subtly be confined to quarters."

Remy's eyebrows raised above his sunglasses. "Janus?"

"Yes."

"Okay, but… Janus? The Janus that's been here longer than I have? The Janus that's been here longer than even Cap Virgil? Your adviser Janus Hierophant? That Janus?"

"Yes," Roman said tightly. "That Janus."

"Unfortunately," Janus muttered and Roman wasn't sure if he was supposed to hear that so he ignored it.  

Besides, it was just easier to ignore Janus, lest Roman actually lose his temper and say something he shouldn't.

"...Right, okay." Remy pushed his glasses up his nose and seemed to gather himself. "So, what's the plan exactly?"

"I want either you or Virgil right outside his door at all times. You can split up the time however you'd like, but you two are the only guards I trust for this. No one else is to know about this and if they ask it's for Janus' safety."

Remy scoffed quietly. "Janus is the most powerful sorcerer I know so I don't know how believable that is, but will do."

"Well, just…" Roman sighed. "I don't know. It's just an 'extra level of security' or something. Talk to Virgil about it when he relieves you or at least comes to talk to you later. I'm… I know I'm not the most prepared for this, and I know it shows, but just…"

"Yeah, I get it, your majesty."

"I just never thought—" Roman cut himself off as he realised that Janus was still in the same room. He was good at fading into the background when he wanted to or even on accident when he was quiet. Virgil also had the same… problem? Skill, perhaps? Roman supposed it just depended on what they were using it for.

"Well, if there's nothing else, I've got it from here. I'll leave a note for Cap Virgil then take Janus to his room. Besides, if you don't mind me saying, you look like you could use some rest or at least some time to yourself."

"I— yes. And… thank you."

"Of course, have a good evening, your majesty."

"I really am sorry," Janus murmured as Roman passed by, some emotion in his voice that Roman just couldn't quite get a grasp on.

Roman left with only one glance back, something indescribable in Janus' eyes that made Roman's heart drop and stomach twist at the same time. It was almost soft and quite a bit of hurt, but that didn't quite seem right. Maybe it was best to just leave it at indescribable.

He just… felt so betrayed. He'd really thought that he knew Janus, but now…

But now it was painfully clear that he didn't.

Roman sniffed softly as he walked down the empty halls, trying to focus on the tapestry along the walls instead of the urge to cry that was quickly welling up inside of him.

It was just a lot and… it was certainly something to sleep on.

-

Despite thinking that he'd sleep on it, he didn't get much sleep.

There had been —and really still was— just so much to think about that it'd been difficult to quiet down his thoughts enough to fall asleep for several hours, and on top of all that he'd woken up early and absolutely exhausted.

Roman allowed himself to lay in bed for longer than he usually did, but eventually, the thoughts in his head were too much, so he got up, got dressed, and went to the throne room.

Virgil was there, frowning at something on a piece of paper before he looked up. "Oh, hey, Roman." He paused for a second, probably considering how he wanted to word his next words. "...Are you wanting a status report?"

"I… sure, yeah. Yes, thank you." Roman sat on the ornate red and gold throne as Virgil approached, stepping up the few steps to the small stage-like platform that the throne was on.

Virgil adjusted his armour before speaking, "Okay, I saw Remy's note and he'd marked the switch-off times so I kept watch from ten to three in the morning. Then Remy took over again and I'll go relieve him at eight. The night was quiet enough, but that's just because Janus chose to stay. To be honest, I highly doubt that we could've stopped him if he'd actually wanted to escape."

"Yeah, I… I kind of knew that. Just felt better with someone I could trust watching him."

"...May I ask what happened?"

"He— he's a traitor to the kingdom. An old servant of Janus' late father came forward with the information just yesterday. I… I'm not really sure what to do," Roman quietly admitted.

"He's not—" Virgil cut himself off with a sigh. "What'd Janus say?"

"Oh, well… I may have been too angry and told him to shut up… yeah. But I'm planning on talking to him tod—"

"I don't think he's guilty!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… I mean, I don't think he's guilty… at least anymore."

"Okay, now I'm even more confused."

"Janus and I knew each other before… before you knew and recruited us."

Roman raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"...Yeah."

"Since when?!"

"Since always? What do you mean 'since when'?"

"I— okay, point taken. But, why didn't either of you tell me?"

"Well… not only was it not relevant, but Janus wanted to keep his background clear, and being a teenager who was put over child soldiers isn't exactly the best job reference when trying to get close to a crowned prince, ya know?"

"Oh, so he… he really was planning this from the beginning."

"Well, no. He didn't. His father on the other hand… okay, listen, Janus' father was a very… let's say controlling man, and if he wanted something to get done, then it would happen, one way or another. So, while that was what Janus had been there to do, and planned on doing for a while, it's not a reflection of who he is today. He doesn't want any harm to come to you, Roman, and has actually prevented you from getting hurt many different times. 

"Multiple times now, he's come with me with some threat or plot against you that someone was trying to carry out and we stopped it without you ever knowing. 

"Sure, he's cunning and certainly the type who could play out the long game, but not with you. Not anymore. I've known him since we were kids and… 

"Anyway, you didn't see him when he decided that he didn't want to try and corrupt or overthrow you anymore. I've never seen him so distraught before. Just— just the amount of remorse… he swore himself to you that day and I was his witness. He cares about you and… and I probably shouldn't tell you this but I'm pretty sure I heard him crying last night."

"...Crying?"

"Yeah, and you know how frequently he does that."

"I've… I've, uh, never seen him cry before."

"Exactly. He just doesn't! But this, possibly losing you, that's striking him to his core." Virgil paused, but as Roman didn't say anything, he continued, "Look, I'm not saying all is forgiven or that this solves everything, but just… talk to him, let him talk, and hear him out. Maybe he's changed, okay? Just don't lose him because of your pride."

Roman nodded, something heavy in his stomach. "Alright. I… I'll talk to him."

"That's all I ask. Just let him explain."

"Right. My anger has settled considerably since yesterday and with everything you've said… well, there's a lot to consider."

…

Roman was walking through the castle halls aimlessly, considering Virgil's words when Patton and Logan approached him. 

Logan's brow was furrowed as he said, "Apologies for bothering you, sire, but Janus wasn't at breakfast and when we went to go see him," Logan looked around to check that no one was there, "Sir Remy said he couldn't let us in as Janus needed extra security. Is there a threat? And is there anything we can do to assist you?"

"Oh, that. Um…"

"I don't want him to get hurt like I did," Patton said softly. "So if there's something we can do to help…"

"That's really sweet of you both, but I can't really think of an— oh, well…" Roman glanced around before continuing, "There is one thing. Has either of you seen anything suspicious? Or like, has anyone made you uncomfortable?"

"Nope." Patton shook his head for emphasis.

"What kind of suspicious?" Logan asked, instantly attentive.

"Oh, just like, I don't know, someone lurking around, or looking like they're not supposed to be there." Those wouldn't apply to Janus but Roman was pretending that it wasn't him. Plus, it's not like it was bad things to ask about in general. He had full confidence in Virgil's security, but it didn't hurt to check. "Or maybe someone telling you not to tell anyone about something they did or said. Just, that type of thing."

"Hmm, I haven't seen anyone who fits that description, but I'll keep an eye out."

"Right, well, I just wanted to check, but…" Roman made a split-second decision. "We believe the danger's actually over now, so I just wanted to make sure that no one had said or done anything like that, or maybe even bribed you. Just stuff like that."

"Ah, well, no one's bribed me—"

"Same," Patton interjected.

"But even if they did I would've let you or Janus kn… oh." 

Roman winced as the revelation dawned on Logan's face. Logan was very smart and had clearly put two and two together. Roman just hoped that he would be sensible enough not to discuss it in front of Patton.

"I see, well… have a good visit with Janus, and I'm glad the danger passed."

It was rather amazing that he even had deduced that in the first place. Janus was definitely the person that Logan trusted the most, so to even think that he had been the danger…

"Yes, I am as well. Virgil was a big help to the investigation."

"Ah, sir Virgil is quite good at his job."

"Yeah, he's super cool!" Patton agreed.

"Well, I will let you go let Janus know that the danger has passed. Patton and I might go read some then. He's been learning at a good rate."

"Yeah! Yesterday I recognized the word strawberry!"

"Oh, well, good job, Patton! And thank you, Logan, for helping Janus teach him to read."

"Of course. Have a good rest of your morning."

"You two as well."

"Bye!" Patton waved as they left and Roman waved in return.

…

"Good morning, Remy," Roman greeted as he stopped outside Janus' door.

"Good morning. How's… it going?"

"Good, really good actually. The danger's passed."

Roman could see it in Remy's eyes and his shoulders as his relief washed over him. "Oh, good. I'm glad. I presume I can…" Remy pointed with his thumb down the hallway.

"Oh, yes. Yeah, have a good day, Remy, and thank you for keeping an eye on things."

"Of course! Have a good one."

After Remy left, Roman took a deep breath and opened Janus' door.

Janus set his book down and quickly stood, but didn't say anything.

Roman shut the door behind himself and walked into the room, still allowing Janus space though.

"So…" Roman started, but faded out as he wasn't sure where to go from there.

"So?" Janus asked, worry evident in his tone.

"So, I'm not so mad and am ready to talk. Virgil filled me in on some stuff, but I'd still like to hear some of it from you."

"Alright. What do you want to know?"

"Well…" Questions swirled in Roman's head, so he decided to start on an easier one. "How did you meet Virgil?"

"Virgil was a child soldier and I was over his unit, but before that, I was in the nanny ward taking care of children not even half my age. I've known Virgil since he was little. Literally."

"Oh… um, what was your relationship with your father?"

Janus' expression went sour. "That scumbag? I tried to do everything he wanted, including… trying to get close to you to kill, overthrow, or manipulate you, but I realised… I didn't have to do that anymore. There were other people out there who cared about people. Up until then, Virgil was the only person who wasn't an utter dick. But you showed me that people can be good. However, I couldn't quite find it in me to defy my father, so I didn't— couldn't do anything while he was alive.

"Fortunately, he'd had a lot of enemies and was assassinated soon enough. So after he died and I was free, I asked for time to better myself before becoming your advisor, and I did, by dismantling the child army and finding either their families if they were forcibly taken, or good orphanages if their parents had given them up for misbehaving or a price."

"Wait, that was you! You did that?"

A bit of the tension fell from Janus' shoulders. "Yes, but I didn't want the publicity, and especially not on the traumatised kids, so I kept it to myself. I think Virgil suspects though."

So far, Janus' story matched up with Virgil's in all the important ways… but he had to be sure that Janus had changed.

"Are you a danger to me, the kingdom, or the kids?"

"Well, of course I'd say I'm not, but since you're not sure you can trust me, that doesn't do much good, so… I'm afraid only you can answer that question."

Damn, Janus was —as usual— right. 

Roman stepped closer and stared into Janus' eyes, one light brown and one dark brown eye staring back. "I'd like to hear your answer anyway. Are you a danger?"

"No." There was fear hidden in some deep part of Janus' eyes, but Roman could tell that it wasn't a fear of being caught for lying, it was a fear of loss, of losing Logan and Patton, of losing Roman.

"Okay."

A bit of hope flittered in. "Okay?"

"Okay," Roman confirmed. "I believe you. It may take a bit to be able to fully trust you again, but… I believe you."

Janus let out a shaky breath, relief and disbelief evident as he all but collapsed into his singular armchair by the fireplace. "I understand it'll take time, but I thank you for the opportunity to prove myself to you again."

"And I'm… glad you want to. I'd… I'd be lost without you, Janus."

"I'd be lost without you as well, my king," Janus softly admitted.

-

Roman smiled to himself, full of pride, as he looked out the carriage window and recalled the events that'd taken place that day.

Logan and Patton had started a program together to help kids in situations like the ones they'd come from. It'd been in place for a month now —and about as much time since Roman had started trusting Janus again—, and once a week they would go to check on the progress in person.

Everything was going well in the program and Roman couldn't be prouder of Logan and Patton for their work in it. He'd seen how much work and effort they'd put into it, even if he'd only just seen the work they did from the castle.

This was Roman's first time going with them as he was usually too busy when they went to check on everything and help with things in person. Instead, Janus would take them, but this week, Roman had a lighter load and worked a bit harder yesterday to have the entire day free.

There was one week where Remus had taken them when Janus had too many meetings and not enough time, but that had gone about as well as Roman would've expected, especially as Remus didn't have Virgil with him and hadn't told Roman that he was taking them beforehand. Roman was ninety-five percent sure that Remus taught them several different ways to commit arson that day.

"King Roman?"

Roman blinked out of his thoughts and looked over. "Yes, Logan?"

"We're here."

Roman glanced out of the window before smiling. "Ah, so we are!"

They could've made the trip back to the castle that day, but they'd spent all day working and were already tired enough as it was, so Janus suggested that they stop at the inn in town for the evening.

Janus and Logan went inside to check in while Roman and Patton grabbed their bags. Roman hadn't exactly expected not to get home that day, but he was always prepared and had a few changes of clothes for everyone.

"Wait, did you hear that?"

Roman paused. "...No?"

"Hmm." Patton put his bag back and took off to the alleyway next to The Crumbling Knight Inn.

"Pat— and he's gone." Roman sighed and hastily copied Patton.

Patton was sitting rather far into the alley and was looking intently at some sort of animal across the alley from him. 

"Oh, you found a dog," Roman murmured as he quietly walked back and peered around the alley corner. 

The muddy dog carefully crept towards Patton and sniffed his outstretched hand before allowing him to pet her. 

"Aww, aren't you sweet!" Patton cooed as he glanced at Roman with fleeting, pleading eyes.

…Roman guessed they may very well have a dog soon.

Roman stepped around the corner and the dog eyed him suspiciously.

"She said she has no family. Can we keep her?"

"...The dog said that?"

"Well, not exactly 'said'… but I know what she means."

"I— alright, if you'll help take care of her, then sure. You absolutely may."

"Oh, I will! I'll take very good care of her!"

"Then we should give her some water and a snack and start a bath, then we can give her some more food if the other stays down."

"...She says she doesn't like baths, but she hates being covered in dried mud more, so she'll allow it this one time. Also, I think the promise of food helped."

"Well, then we only need to convince Janus and bribe the innkeeper."

…

As it turned out, the innkeeper needed more convincing than Janus, but after the extra money was laid down and Patton gave puppy dog eyes and even promised to clean up after the dog, she agreed.

All four of them sat at one of the tables in the inn's dining room, and the dog sat next to Patton —albeit on the floor, much to Patton's disappointment—. 

"I'm very glad your program is going well, Logan and Patton," Roman said after they'd eaten most of their food.

"Thank you. I was quite pleased with the progress as well."

"Yeah!" Patton exclaimed as he took the last biscuit from the now empty basket. "It's already helped quite a few kids." He took a big bite and rested his hand against his thigh before gasping. "Hey! That was my biscuit!"

The dog didn't pay Patton any mind though as she wolfed it down.

Janus pursed his lips ever so slightly and Roman instantly recognised that he was trying not to laugh. He seemed to recover quickly though and kindly said, "Here, Patton. I didn't end up eating my biscuit so you may have it."

"Oh, thanks! I'll be sure to hold it over my plate this time."

"Probably wise."

"...Oh hey! I know what we should name her now."

Roman raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Biscuit!"

"That does seem like a logical enough name for a dog," Logan agreed.

"...She says that's a good name, especially if she gets more biscuits sometime."

Roman laughed. "Well, we'll have to see about that."

-

Roman never would've been able to imagine that it was possible to care for so many people this much. His brother, Remus; Captain of the guard, Virgil; Logan Hierophant; Roman's ward, Patton; and Roman's adviser, Janus.

His care for them seemed to only be multiplying every day, and Roman was quite content to let it.

But lately his care for Janus was almost… changing? Not diminishing in any way, just… it was a bit different now.

Roman got up from the desk in his room and began pacing.

He wanted to be more physical with Janus for one thing, and while he liked some physical affection in general, this still felt different. He wanted to be near Janus more than he'd ever thought about. There was just something in Roman that pulled him to Janus.

He wanted to hold Janus' hand, to hug him, and to… wake up next to each other? 

He… he wanted to run his fingers through Janus' long, beautiful hair, to brush and braid his golden hair. Wanted to cup his cheek and lean in and—

Kiss Janus??

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, wow. How had Roman not seen that before, hadn't seen that coming? 

Roman sat down on his bed, legs feeling almost shaky under him as he laid back.

But now that he thought about it… it almost made sense.

Sure, one could think that one's friends were pretty, and one could want to be physically affectionate with them, but there was some feeling in Roman's gut that told him that this was different, something that told him that it wasn't strictly platonic.

…Now what?

Roman sat up.

Did he want to tell Janus? Or maybe wait? 

He wasn't sure what he'd be waiting on but he also didn't want to just rush into anything. How was he supposed to know what to do? He'd never been… been in love before.

Roman almost rolled his eyes at how obvious it was. Who did he know that would have some experience with romance? Remus and Virgil, of course. They were married after all.

Roman found Remus and Virgil quick enough, both relaxing in their shared quarters as they cuddled on one of their couches.

"Hey, Ro-bro! Wanna come on in and tell us what's on your mind?"

Roman shut the door behind himself. "That obvious, huh?" 

Remus rolled chaos' eyes. "Of course. There's clearly something on your mind, so what has your brain going in circles?"

"Yeah, we're here to listen and help if we can," Virgil agreed. 

"Well…" Roman sat down on the couch opposite Remus and Virgil. "I realised that I may… like Janus romantically?"

Remus snorted loudly as Virgil pursed his lips, probably to not do what Remus did.

"Did you only just learn that?" Remus asked, voice full of amusement.

Roman huffed. "Yes. Was it that obvious?"

"Oh, definitely. I thought you were just taking your sweet time asking him, but you didn't… man, talk about King Oblivious."

Roman huffed, pretending to be offended. "Wow, if I'd known that I'd just get insulted for my trouble—"

Virgil laughed. "No, we'll— well, I'll help at least. No guarantee for Remus though."

"Hey! I can be helpful too!"

"Sure."

"I— okay fair." Remus looked back at Roman. "So, what's the problem exactly?"

"Well, I think I'd like to tell him, but like…"

"You don't wanna fuck it up?"

"I wouldn't put it quite like that, but yes. I just— I really care about him and in one way it wasn't really all that long ago that I thought I might… might lose him. I just don't want to worry about possibly losing him again."

"I really don't think you'll lose him," Virgil said. "I…" They hesitated. "Even if he didn't like you back, he's not one for abandoning his friends."

Roman sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I'm just… nervous I guess."

Remus seemed to be taking this more seriously now. "Yeah, that's understandable. I was super nervous about asking Virgil, and waited so long that he ended up asking me." Remus laughed. "And he was probably more nervous than I was!"

"Oh, definitely. I was so anxious that I almost threw up."

…

After a bit more assurance from Virgil and some —light-hearted— badgering from Remus, Roman decided that he'd tell Janus soon, but especially as he'd only discovered his romantic feelings that day, he would give it some thought as to how he would ask Janus out.

Maybe he could do a big gesture first? Like a picnic perhaps? No, it was winter and far too cold. 

Should Roman just tell him? There wasn't much romance in that though… but maybe he was just overcomplicating things?

Roman's nerves had only doubled and he was still no closer to figuring out how to ask Janus out.

Roman sighed as he wandered through the hallways, lost in thought.

What if he got so worked up that he got too nervous to ask Janus at all? Maybe… maybe he should just ask now before his brain blew it out of proportion.

Before Roman quite realised what he was doing, he was walking towards Janus' room.

Roman took a deep breath and knocked on the door before he could chicken out.

"Come in," Janus called.

Roman opened the door and shut it behind himself. "Hello, Janus."

"Hello, Roman." Janus smiled before putting a bookmark in the book he'd been reading and setting it on the small side table next to the armchair. The fire crackled merrily in the hearth. Janus gestured Roman over. "I won't bite," He teased.

Roman huffed. "I know that."

"Then why do you look so nervous?" Janus raised an eyebrow.

Roman stopped by Janus' chair and almost wished that he'd thought to wear his regal attire or at the very least his crown. He really needed the confidence.

"Just… am?" Roman tried.

"Right," Janus said sarcastically, clearly not believing him. He seemed to realise how put upon Roman felt though as he suggested, "Why don't you sit down?"

"But there's not— oh!" Roman did his best not to squeak as a warm arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him down into Janus' lap.

"There, now you're closer to the fire. You're cold, you need to keep warm."

"I—" Roman was quite sure his cheeks were flushing. "Right, um. Yeah."

Fortunately, the chair was large enough for both of them, Roman sitting sideways in between Janus' legs with the backs of his knees on the armrest, feet dangling over the side. Janus' arm was still around Roman's waist, fingers splayed over his stomach. 

Roman wasn't really sure where to put his arm that was closer to Janus, and since it was a bit too late to put it in between himself and Janus as Janus had already pulled them pretty close together, Roman decided to put his arm around Janus' shoulders.

Janus laid his hand that was not wrapped around Roman on Roman's knee. "So, how'd you sleep last night?"

"Uh, pretty good. What about you?"

"...I should've expected you to ask me back."

Roman laughed. "I mean, that's kind of how small talk works usually."

"Hah, fair enough." Janus stared at the fire and Roman finally saw that it wasn't just shadow from the flame under Janus' eyes making him look tired. His shoulders were a bit heavy looking as well.

"So, how'd you really sleep?" Roman finally asked.

"Well, not very well. I don't know why. It's not like there was really anything to affect or disturb my sleep like that… anyway, I'll just try to get better rest tonight."

"Well, why don't you just take a nap?"

"Hmm, I might. I usually struggle with falling asleep in the middle of the day when… anyway."

"When what?"

Janus sighed. "When I'm alone. I used to have people near when I was in charge of… the nanny ward and then later with the… well, not really soldiers, but the point is I never slept alone growing up. It doesn't really matter though, I'll just wait until—"

"I'll sleep with you!"

Janus coughed. "What?"

Roman felt his face warm as he shifted awkwardly, but that just made it worse as it just reminded Roman just how much they were touching. "Okay, that sounded… but what I meant was we could… take a nap together?" Oh, dramdach, that didn't sound much better.

"I— yes. That… yes." 

Roman didn't think he'd ever seen Janus so not put together. Maybe his sleep problem had been going on for longer than he'd said.

Roman didn't have any more time to ponder such things, however, as Janus moved his hand from on top of his knees to under, and his other hand to support the rest of Roman as he stood and carried Roman over to Janus' bed.

Janus set the still stunned Roman down. "Well?"

"Uh, well what?" Since when was Janus so strong??

Janus huffed in amusement. "Are you going to scoot over so I can get in as well?"

"Huh, oh! Oh, yeah." Roman moved over as Janus slid in next to him and pulled the blankets over them.

"Here, you can scoot a bit closer. It's pretty chilly today and the bed's rather cold."

Despite the warmth in Roman's face, the bed was indeed cold.

"Okay," Roman murmured as he shuffled closer, choosing to sleep on his side.

Janus was behind Roman as he'd hoped that he'd be less awkward, but Janus must've also been on his side as threw an arm over Roman's waist and buried his nose in Roman's shoulder.

Well, this was certainly different than what Roman had expected when he'd gone to Janus to tell him that he loved Janus. He hadn't even gotten that far before Janus was sharing a bed with him.

Life was weird sometimes.

…

Roman woke up warm so he hummed and snugged even closer to the warmth before frowning. Wait, what was warm?

Roman's eyes flew open and he realised that he was sleeping on… on Janus' chest! He scrambled back and tried to sit up.

"Well, good evening. Where are you going in such a hurry?" Janus asked, lazily watching him from where he was half sitting up against the headboard.

"Oh, I— I was— just… surprised, that's all."

"Fair enough. I'm sure it'd be a bit surprising to wake up next to —or rather on, in this case— someone when you're not used to it."

"But you are? Even now, and even with me?"

Janus considered him for a moment. "Yes."

Roman looked away, not even quite sure why. "Oh."

Janus started at Roman for a moment longer before he broke whatever that was and said, "So, it's about suppertime. How about we go find the whole crew and eat together."

"Yeah, absolutely. That sounds great."

They got out of bed and fixed their bedheads and slightly skewed clothes.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Janus said as he put his hat back on. Roman hadn't even noticed that he'd taken it off. "I had something I wanted to talk to you about earlier."

"Oh?"

Janus' eyes ran over Roman before he looked away. "I— nevermind."

"...Are you sure?"

"Yes. Let's go eat."

…

They all gathered for supper and ate amid chatter and teasing.

"So," Logan began seriously as he set down his fork. "I read about something in the library today and I was wondering if everyone has birthdays or just a select few."

"Oh, everyone does," Janus said. "Some people may choose not to celebrate or may not know what day exactly they were born on —I presume you don't—, but most people celebrate their birthday, or at least know when it is."

A bit of sadness crossed Logan's face. "Ah, I see."

"We could choose a day to be your birthday though," Roman suggested.

"Really? We can do that?"

"Absolutely! We can pick a date and then throw a little party that day to celebrate you."

"What about tomorrow?" Logan asked.

"Well, let's have enough time to at least plan it."

"How about this Saturday?" Janus offered.

Logan considered it for a moment. "...That would be acceptable."

"Good," Janus said before turning to Patton. "And you will, of course, get one as well."

Patton almost dropped his fork in surprise, eyes widening. "What? Really? I get a birthday too?"

"Of course, Patton," Roman assured. "You're no less a part of this family than anyone else."

"Oh."

Roman decided not to dwell on that too much right now. He did, however, make a mental note to himself to be sure that Patton always knew that he was part of the family. "Do you know when your birthday is?"

"...No."

"Well, that's just fine. We can pick a date for or with you sometime after Logan's birthday party, okay?"

"Okay!"

Janus asked Logan, "Would you like to help plan the party, like perhaps after supper, or would you rather it be a surprise and we plan it for you?"

"I'd like to be involved with the planning, please. I'm not very fond of surprises."

"That's understandable," Remus said around a mouth full of food. "One time I tried to throw a surprise party and Roman screamed!"

"In my defense, you jumped out of nowhere with what looked like a mound of some weird red stuff! It looked bloody!"

"Okay, listen, it's not my fault I don't know how to bake!"

Today definitely hadn't gone how Roman had expected but, all in all, it was —albeit weird— still a good day.

-

Today was Logan's new birthday and as excited as Logan seemed to be, he also was at least that much nervous, stressing over every little detail and clearly tense and on edge.

"No, a bit lower… now to the left… not that left, go to the right a bit. That's too high, can you—"

"Logan, I don't think we'll get this exactly right at this rate," Janus said a bit exasperatedly.

"...Oh, right. Apologies, right there is adequate… well, maybe just a bit to the—"

"Logan!"

"Oh, right, right."

"Why don't you use magic to get it just right?" Patton asked.

"... Because we didn't think of that," Janus admitted. 

"That's a really good idea," Roman praised.

Janus let go of his side of the banner and it stayed in place with a bit of gold glittering around it; a sign of his magic. He gestured for Roman to do the same thing and he did, his side also staying with the same golden glitter.

They both climbed down their respective ladders, and Janus made rulers out of his magic on each of the four sides of the banner to get it perfectly centered. Finally it was secured, and Janus went back to blowing up balloons with his magic, some dark blue sparkly confetti in each one.

"I've got the cake!" Virgil exclaimed as he entered the event hall.

"And I've got the ice cream! …Mostly because Virgil doesn't trust me with the cake."

"I saw the flips you were doing with the ice cream bucket!" Virgil and Remus set their loads down on the table.

"Well, obviously I wouldn't've done that with the cake!"

"Well, it's hard to know with you.“

Remus huffed as chaos made a cold bubble around the ice cream so it wouldn't melt, but conceited, "...Okay, that's fair."

Roman walked over to Logan. "Hey, you seem a bit stressed. I know that this is a lot, but it doesn't have to be perfect, okay? We want you to have fun, not be stressed out of your mind."

"Ah, yes. You're right, of course. I just… want this to go well. I'm afraid I've rather so-called 'built' it up in my mind to be this big important thing, so I'm worried about it not going perfectly."

"Oh, I know what you mean. I've definitely done that before. Trying to get every little detail perfect, even when I wasn't sure what getting it perfect would look like. It's called 'perfectionism'."

"Oh, there's a name for that? I didn't realise it was such a common thing."

"Yes, but there's ways to help with it, like letting yourself know that it's okay to make mistakes, or that it doesn't have to be absolutely perfect. It's not going to be perfect but that's okay! I know letting it go is easier said than done, but just know that I'm here for you, Logan."

"Thanks, I appreciate it. I just… I suppose I just want to be good enough. I've been given such a wonderful opportunity here and I don't want anyone to think that I'm squandering it." Logan dropped his voice, "I just don't want you to regret letting Janus take me in."

"Oh, Logan, I don't regret Janus taking you in at all! Short of some very, very bad stuff, I'd never regret that. I'm so glad you're here, and I want you to be here, okay?"

Logan nodded as he seemed to be fighting back tears. "Okay. Thank you."

"Of course. Anytime."

Roman patted Logan's shoulder and they shared a small smile.

…

After Logan was able to relax, things went smoother and Roman was quite sure that he was enjoying everything.

Remus was standing next to Virgil, each had an arm wrapped around the other's waist, and Remus was using his free hand to make a ball of magic that Logan, Patton, and Biscuit were running around, chasing. Occasionally, something would happen —like almost running into each other, or the bundle of magic would jump just out of reach— and Logan and Patton would laugh, Biscuit barking with them.

Roman stood off to the side with Janus, who was watching everyone's antics in amusement.

Roman wasn't sure if it was just his imagination, but ever since he'd realised that he liked Janus romantically, there kept being… little things. Roman wasn't even sure what to call them. 

While they hadn't shared a bed again after the nap they'd shared, they still were in close proximity more often than ever. Janus would put an arm around Roman's shoulders as he showed Roman something out of his book, or would press their knees together under the dinner table. Just little things like that, things that Roman still couldn't quite get his head around.

Was it just his feelings for Janus misinterpreting things? Or… well, he didn't even dare to hope.

Janus also seemed to be spending more time with Roman, even if he said something about it being a coincidence that they were in the same room. Roman… wasn't sure if he believed Janus.

Despite all that, Roman couldn't help but worry that he'd missed his chance. Sure, he probably hadn't, but his worry didn't seem to care about that.

What if he never told Janus? He knew he'd regret it if he never told him though, he just hoped that if… —when?— he told Janus, that he wouldn't come to regret that too.

He still felt no closer to knowing how or when to tell Janus, but he supposed that he probably wasn't in that much of a rush. The only people Janus talked to outside of their little family, were all in a professional setting, so Roman doubted that Janus would just suddenly have a partner… hopefully he wouldn't anyway.

Remus yanked the ball higher and Patton jumped, trying to catch it, but it bounced off of the tips of his fingers, and he laughed merrily as he slowly drifted down, having used a slow-fall spell that Janus had taught him recently.

Roman heard a gentle laugh from beside him, so he looked over at Janus, whose smile was softer now, sunlight hitting his face just right, and hair sparkling golden in the light.

And before Roman realised, "You're the most beautiful person I've ever had the honour of meeting," Tumbled out of his mouth.

Janus broke his vision away and looked at Roman in shock. "Wh— what?"

Oops. Well, it was out there now. "Oh, well… I wasn't planning on saying this right now, but I really have been meaning to tell you so… I like you."

"...Like romantically?"

"Yes, like… like romantically."

Janus smirked before he stated matter-a-factly,

"About time." 

"What?"

"I've been flirting with you for a while now! I was starting to wonder if you'd ever like me back."

"Wait, really?"

Janus nodded. "You're an idiot."

Roman laughed abruptly. "Wow, thanks."

"But you're a very lovable idiot."

"Oh, thanks." Roman's face warmed a bit as Janus stepped a bit closer.

Janus gazed into Roman's eyes and he gazed back, the striking contrast of Janus' eyes all but mesmerising. He cupped Janus' face in his hands, running a thumb across his soft cheek before running his other thumb over Janus' scarred cheek, gently tracing a few of the raised lines.

"You're beautiful," Roman said, voice full of wonder.

"I— you're not so bad yourself."

Roman took a little step forward. "Why, thank you." He let his right hand fall a bit until it rested on Janus' shoulder, and Janus reached up with his left hand to grasp at Roman's sleeve. "I really like you," Roman murmured.

"I really like you as well," Janus said back, voice just as soft.

"So, wh—"

"Hey, Roman!" Patton exclaimed before he stopped next to them.

Roman pulled back from Janus to see a sheepish Patton. 

"Oops, sorry. Didn't quite figure out what my intuition was telling me in time."

Roman laughed. "It's alright, what's up?"

Patton held up a light blue balloon that had been folded and twisted into the shape of a dog. "Uncle Remus is making balloon animals!"

"Uncle?"

"Oh, um, well, he and uncle Virgil said it was okay… but I can—"

"No, that's perfectly fine. I was just surprised, that's all."

Patton paused, no doubt seeing if Roman would suddenly change his mind and get mad, but, of course, Roman didn't. "...Okay."

Janus seemed to notice the need for a subject change as he asked, "Do you think he could make me something?"

"Hmm, I think a honey badger would be too complicated, but I bet he could make you a snake!"

"Sounds perfect."

Patton ran off to no doubt ask Remus about the snake.

Janus shook his head fondly. "I'll never understand how children can have so much energy."

"Right! They're so small and yet they just zoom around."

Janus paused before looking back at Roman. "Well, we should probably go see what everyone wants to do next."

"Yeah, that sounds good… can I hold your hand?" Roman blurted out, startling a laugh out of Janus.

"Yes." Janus held his hand out and Roman took it.

Roman wasn't quite sure what this meant for them yet, but it seemed like it would only be for the better.

As they all sang 'happy birthday' to Logan around his birthday cake, Roman couldn't help but wonder at how he'd gotten such an amazing family.

And he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with them.

~The End~

No reposting, likes are nice, and reblogs are very much appreciated! | Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @someoneiwasnt

#sanders sides #sanders sides fics #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #vee's writing #ts storytime 2022 submission #ts roman #tss roman #ts janus #tss janus #ts logan #tss logan #ts patton #tss patton #ts virgil #tss virgil #ts remus #tss remus #roceit #background esablished dukexiety

[prodigal-explorer]

Do you want to trade vampire aus? Bc me and my friends vampire au has janus and virgil and roman (and remus)

We actually have like 4 bc im obsessed with vampires but like The Main One lol

omg absolutely!!! i would love to!!

here is my vampire au:

Roman is a young teen who is infatuated with everything mythical and magical. He knows everything there is to know about magic, it's an extreme special interest of his. And he has a large forest outside his house that he regularly explores, hoping that he will find a mythical being one day.

And one day, he does.

Janus is a young vampire, the vampiric equivalent of a teenager. And when he and Roman run into each other, Roman treats Janus with kindness and curiosity, which is not what Janus expects. His older brother, Virgil, has always told him that humans are dangerous and back-stabbing. But Janus is a lonely boy, being raised only by Virgil, who is battling an extreme addiction to human blood and working hard to raise Janus and provide for him without coming near humans and risking killing them.

Janus and Roman become fast friends, especially when Roman discovers that Janus is a vampire, and is extremely happy to have finally met a mythical creature. Janus doesn't really feel any extreme craving for Roman's blood because he has never tasted human blood before, so he has no idea what he is missing out on.

Meanwhile, at Roman's house, there is father, Patton, and his older brother Logan is sort of like a ward of the family. Logan is not Roman's biological sibling, nor Patton's biological son. Logan sort of acts as a built-in babysitter for Roman, especially because Patton has gone mad. When Roman was very young, his twin brother, Remus, died in the big forest, and ever since that horrible day, Patton has lost it, insisting that a rabid vampire killed his little boy, and that he vows to find the vampire that did it and kill him, so that he can keep his surviving son, Roman, safe from harm. Every day, he searches in the big forest for the vampire, but as a result, he neglects Roman and Logan, leaving them to their own devices for very long stretches.

Logan thinks this is ridiculous. After all, vampires don't exist! He, and every other human in their lives, believes that Remus fell out of a tree, and that was how he died. But Patton knows the truth.

Eventually, Janus introduces Roman to Virgil, and Roman introduces Janus and Virgil to Logan. It goes about how you would expect: Virgil and Logan both think that the other is strange and shouldn't be trusted, but Roman and Janus work hard to bring the four together, and it eventually works out when Virgil and Logan realize that they have the same goal: to protect their little brothers from harm.

But what happens when Virgil decides to fully trust these humans as well as Janus, and tell them something that he never dared to tell anyone? That the day he realized he needed to stop pursuing human blood was the same day ten years ago, where he found a tiny little boy in the woods and sucked him dry, killing him. And that the little boy looked identical to Roman.

And yeah! That's my AU!! I really really like it, and it gets even angstier when you consider the possibility of Patton discovering Janus and Virgil and figuring out what they are, or Logan realizing that Virgil was indirectly the reason why the family fell apart.

It's just cool. Yeah! I would love to hear about your AU!!

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides fandom #tss #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides au #tss au #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #tss vampire au #roceit #analogical

[lemme-overthink-this]

*lana del ray vibes ensues*

Redraw of @cant-be-where-the-bar-is doodle over on discord! Thanks for allowing me to use your idea my dude!

#doodles #sander sides #thomas sanders #ts roman #ts janus #Roceit?? #roceit #digital fanart #digital art #gay #shout out to Khanya for relentlessly torturing my ass with dumb fanfic lines while I was drawing this out #roses #summer #I FINALLY FIGURED OUT FRECKLES!!