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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 8 months

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𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞 • 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦

Summary: English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes… I was thinking about something fuffly + smut. Like the reader being innocent and a shy person. She and jude got into their relationship recently and they have had no sex yet bc jude don’t wants to pressure her to do anything (but ofc he wants have sex w her), especially when he starts to realize how innocent she is… he thinks she’s too cute and at the same time he wants to ruin her, he feel the need to protect her. But when y/n is in a convo w her girlies friends and one of them asks about her sex life w jude and she don’t know what to say, she would be curious about it but would be too shy to talk w jude about it he would find it weird that she was quiet and looking bothered by something and would talk w her. After insists a lot, she finally says about all the stuffs that she heard about her friends and she would be “idk how react” and jude gets fully turned on by her innocent but makes he’s best to not show ithe tries to find a way to explain for her without destroy her innocent but she wants to know about everything and she wants him to do everything w her bc she wants to be his.

Genre: smut, fluff

Warning: MATURE CONTENT, virgin reader, sex talk, innercourse unprotected sex, cursing, innocent reader(?)

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x f reader

Word count: 1.6k

Jude Masterlist

Enjoy

You wonder what it’s like to have sex.

While driving over to your boyfriends place after a day of hanging out with your friends, that thought popped into your head. What was it like to have sex? Was it the worst thing in the world or was it the best thing in the world?

The way your friends described it, it was the best thing ever. It was as if your souls were intertwined together. A step in your relationship that was huge as they said.

You’ve never got to experience that. Nah You were a virgin, innocent as can be. Sure you touched yourself, but you never had anyone else touch you.

You wondered if your boyfriend Jude thought about having sex with you? You wondered if he ever wanted to do those special things your friends talked about, with you. You’ve only been together for 2 months and he has never pressured you into having sex with you and you love him for that. But you wondered if he wanted you as much as you imagined.

You turned your car off once you reached Jude’s apartment.

You walked up to the front door and knocked. A few seconds went by before the door opened revealing your smiley boyfriend.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi.” You smiled back.

Jude pulled you into the door and hugged you right before he kissed you.

“how are you?” Jude shut the door and you began pulling off your shoes and coat off.

“I’m good. Just got done hanging out with my girlfriends.”

“ok well that’s nice. I’m about to order some food and maybe we can watch a show or something. How does that sound?”

“Sounds pretty good.” You smiled at him. Jude kissed you one more time before he went off to order dinner and you went to the couch.

An hour passed by your food arrived. You put on a show and you both sat on the couch to watch it while eating.

Throughout the whole show you were very antsy. You couldn’t sit still. Every few seconds you would change your position on the couch. Jude took notice. He tried to ignore it, but after a bit he couldn’t.

“Love, what’s wrong?” Jude picked up the remote pausing the TV. His hands found your waist under his hoodie you had borrowed for the cold temperatures.

Judes hands on your waist wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with, but today it made chills run down your spine.

“What’s wrong pretty girl?”

“um…” You avoided jude’s eyes “its really fucking silly.”

“No it’s not. Tell me what’s going on in your head?”

You looked up into jude’s brown eyes. “um so when I was with my friends today, we were- well they went talking about sex and of course I uh.. I didn’t understand.”

You laughed looking down at your lap in embarrassment, but Jude put his finger under your chin making you look at him.

“What didn’t you understand?”

“I didn’t understand the sex positions they were referring to. Like missionary, doggy. Also they said when you have sex with someone it’s like your souls intertwine with each and the moment is very special and important. It made me wonder if you can explain it to me.”

You swallowed, happy to finally get that off your chest.

Jude loves how innocent you are. You were clueless, it made him feel things he hoped you didn’t notice.

“Baby, all those things they talked about are really interesting. Missionary is when the man is top and the woman is on the bottom. You’re face to face with each. Doggy isn’t the way. The woman’s non all four and the man’s behind.”

You nodded. “that’s interesting. So what about your souls intertwine? Is that true?”

Jude hesitated for a second before nodding. “yeah, but it’s only with someone special you know?” Jude ran his hand over his stubble chin then locking eyes with you.

“can you show me?”

Jude eyes widen. “you want me to show you?”

“Yes. Show me what it’s like to be fucked in missionary. Show me what doggy is. Show me what it’s like for our souls to be intertwine Jude.”

The abrupt wave of confidence came as a shock but you didn’t care. You needed this badly.

Jude looked at you, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth. He grabbed your face. “ok . Lemme show you.”

Jude kissed you. A shiver ran down your spine as he pulled you onto of his lap in seconds.

You moaned into his lips. Jude hand ran up your spine till he found your bra. He unhooked it with one hand.

“lets take my shirt off.” You said once you pulled away from Jude. You tugged the hoodie off of you and your bra. From the waist up you were nude. You just realized you were completely nude in front of Jude for the first time. You couldn’t help but get shy when you notice him staring down at your body.

“you’re fucking stunning.” Jude found your lips again. His hand left your back and found your breast. He rolled your nipple between his finger making you groan into his lips.

“take off your clothes. I can’t be the only one.”

Jude laughed. You slid off of him to let him remove his clothes. While he did that you pulled off your jeans. Leaving you in your black lace panties.

Jude was completely nude now. “I’m going to show you what missionary is.”

Jude climbed onto of you. His fingers found our panties. He looked up at you for confirmation to take them off. To which you gave.

“Jude pulled them off of you. He leaned down, his lips found your stomach and he trailed kisses up it. Your breathing grow heavy at each touch of his.

When he reached your cleavage of your boobs, he looked up at you. “are you sure you want to do this?”

You ran your hand over the nap of Jude’s neck. “of course. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”

Jude hummed an ok. you watched as he stroked himself a few times before placing himself between your fold, slipping in you slowly with ease from how wet you were.

Your heart slammed against your chest. You squeezed your eyes shut while he went further and further into you.

“You’re doing so good baby.” Jude said lowly. His lips finding your cheek.

“Are you ready for me to move?”

“yes.” You barely squeak out. Jude moved in you. A hiss fell from your lips from not being used to the feeling but it felt amazing nonetheless.

Jude started out slow but gradually grew faster. Both Your moans filled the room like a symphony playing the most beautiful music.

“omg Jude yes.” You grabbed ahold of his biceps as he thrust into you with everything he could give. The sounds you were making were music to jude’s ears. “You fuck me so good.”

You look up and smile slightly at him. Then your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

“yeah?” jude smirks. He closed the gap between you both. You lips lazily moved against each other.

You tighten around him. You were close, the familiar burn in your lower stomach making you squirm beneath your boyfriend.

“you’re going to cum?” Jude pressed his hand on your lower stomach making you groan. All he could do was laugh at how he was make you feel.

Jude kept up his rapid thrust. He pressed his hand deep into that your tummy and that was enough to make you cum.

Your back arched off the couch and you moaned into Jude’s neck. Jude kept going to ride you through your orgasm, but also to help him reach his own.

“Fuck in going to cum.” He said through breathy grunts. He pulls out you then coming on your stomach.

The both of you sat there catching your breaths. When Jude finally was calm he got up and went to the bathroom right off the living room. He came back with a towel in his hand to wipe your stomach.

“so was that everything you dreamed about for a first time?”

Looking over at him you nod. “best thing ever. Thank you.” You kissed him before reaching down on the floor and picking up your hoodie and panties.

“but you haven’t showed me everything I’m looking forward to showing me the other stuff.”

You watched as Jude laughed softly. “don’t worry darling. I’ll show you everything.”

#jude bellingham x reader #Jude Bellingham #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham fanfic #Jude Bellingham fanfiction

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jeskoholic · 10 months

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A Little Piece of You Chapter 17: The Ideal Girlfriend

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous chapter: A Coffee Date

Word count: 5,640

Tags: Male OC, Bestfriend Yujin, College friends, School Convo

Enjoy

“Come on man; I already explained things to you… I don’t have a girlfriend. Don’t be stupid.”

“Oh, is that the really the case?”

“Dawn… I know who you’re talking about and you’re dead wrong. She is just my best friend and there’s nothing else in the middle. I don’t know what made you think about anything about that.”

Dawn chuckled.

“What do you mean, Jae-in? Eve you called her as your ‘girlfriend’ at some point, right?”

“I did that because she’s a girl, right? She’s also my friend, so I think it just makes sense that I warrant myself calling her that. And by the way, I did that because of that one particular time that Shinwon and Kino drank their butts off and started asking stupid questions. I remember answering back at their claims just to make them both shut up. It was my only way out.”

“Well, sometimes things do work out like that especially with Shinwon and Kino. It’s funny how we don’t often see them talking together recently… “

“Hey, I don’t know what’s with you and the rest of UK, but why are y’all putting me in the hot seat now? You have no idea how much of a chore I had to endure with all the questioning from Hongseok and the others. Heck, even Yeri is being added to the mix and I can’t do anything about it. It feels weird that I’m complaining about this now, especially when I was so cool at it a while back but… I guess I was just uncomfortable talking about Soyeon especially to them. I only felt that when I was already relaying what transpired.”

“I don’t know about them… as far as I’m concerned, I just want to everyone else to be happy. I mean, look how well this first official date went with Jisoo. Like I said, if I don’t screw things up, this boat is sailing away smoothly. As a friend, I want those same things to happen to you guys as well, especially you, my man. I can’t even express to you how happy am I knowing my friends are good with Jisoo. It makes my efforts for her more relaxed knowing I have you guys behind me.”

“I’m happy for you man. It turned out to be a good idea that you brought us on this.”

“Wait, Jae-in… I just realized something…”

“Which is…?”

“You know with all of these happening… I’m sorry but I’ll have to introduce Soyeon to the conversation again. Do you mind?”

“Go ahead, I guess. We’re pretty much talking about her already at this point so might as well.”

Dawn scratched the back of his head just as he and Jae-in crossed a street towards a bright shop, of where they proceeded to continue on walking.

“I realized that… it’s been a while since you and Soyeon went dating, or went out, whatever… I just figured, you never introduced her to anyone else rather than the group, am I correct? I’m curious as to how she’d react with Soyeon given her personality is drastically different from most of us.”

“Who are we talking about? Is it Yujin?”

“Of course man, who else could it be? You know how Yujin works and how she’s so picky with stuff, especially those who date you. It’s funny to think how Wonyoung hated her so much back in high school and her predictions never came to fruition. You and Yujin were still friends up to this day. It’s hilarious when I think about how much that hated seeing each other because of you. I wonder how your ex would react once she finds out that you two have gone stronger ever since.”

“I get where you’re going at. Yujin is pretty much very nitpicky on whoever I’m dating, or having an intention to date but she has her reasons. After what happened with Wonyoung, she made sure to have my back ever since. She’s always been the brain in my heart, as I tend to act out of impulse without thought. I would go as far and say that she’s the voice inside my head telling me to think twice about things before heading in, which is exactly why I trust her so much. Also, you know how guys have that hint whenever a dickhead is hitting on a girl with malicious intent? Girls have that too, man, and Yujin’s been the one warning me of everything… well, at least until recently anyway.”

“Yeah, I know that. I just wondered, in case you introduced Soyeon to her… what do you think she’d say about her, then? Do you think she’s going to have the same thought like you did?”

“Knowing Yujin, she’ll be the first person to tell me to back off. All those realizations, all those reasons why I chose to end it with Soyeon… I’m sure she would have seen it coming before I even thought about it. It would feel as if she’d be the one to back off for me while I still can’t get the courage to do so. I don’t know; like I said: womanly instincts. She’d be sure to tease about it to me at some point along that, too.”

Dawn nodded.

“Well, in a way I envy you; girls are pretty hard to understand. At least you have Yujin there to help you out for things, especially on the red flags we guys are normally blind to.”

“I guess so… although with that whole thing with Soyeon, I never really told her anything. Joohyun-noona even knows more than her on this regard… I guess I never really had the chance to tell her as it went on… I just never thought of her as well. With how quiet she is, maybe she’s just really busy recently.

“You know what, come to think of it… I never saw Yujin since the semester began. I guess being on a different engineering department ought to show how dedicated she is compared to us, and how physically and mentally committed she is on school. Then again, I didn’t expect less from a high school top student. At least she’s not spending her weekends going to bars like we do.”

“Jae-in, but I heard that you barely join Kyungsoo and the others when they invite you out. I heard that you’re not even showing up.”

There was a pause, which involved Jae-in giving his friend a joking glare only for Dawn to return it with a smirk.

“Okay, Mr Smart-ass, I know you’re happy. I get it. I’m happy for you as well. I just don’t get why Yujin suddenly got dragged into this conversation out of nowhere. Point is I really haven’t talked to her for a while so she has no idea what’s going on with me. It might surprise her with how much shit I’ve been through without even being halfway across the semester.”

“Maybe that’s the point. I genuinely got curious how come she’s never heard of anything… surprised, even. You got to tell her and catch up, man. You two have been through a lot and she ought to know at some point. In that case, it would be better if it would be from you.”

Kim Hyojong and Yoon Jae-in reached the end path of the long street they have been traversing on. The skies have completely showed its vibrant purple hue as the day succumbed into the incoming evening. As always, Seoul’s bright night life had begun to bare itself amidst the baby steps of the twilight. Shops began to show their innate beauty along with the approaching evening, with Jae-in only being able to realize what he was missing right as he and Hyojong were about to part ways. He stood with his eyes on the marketplace’s humble horizon, its roof carefully etched to match the elegance of the incoming dusk.

Maybe I should. I do kinda miss that chaos of a girl as well.

---

After the grand culmination of Dawn’s plan, it was suffice to say that he had once again become incognito, but I quite expected that. I really could not blame him; after that good enough of a start, he ought to focus all of his efforts towards Jisoo if he really want to make the most out of what has been given to him. Plus, the rest of the United Kwangya have been really confined lately, with the conversations solely existing between the occasional appearances of Ningning complaining about how she constantly forgets her basic maths skills, Kino teasing her about it, Kyungsoo moderating all of them. Yeri and Shinwon became the new love birds of the group effectively replacing me and Soyeon, which was a good thing. Granted, we never really displayed our affection in front of our friends, even if it was just a group chat, but at least the rest of the members attention were focused on them and not us. They didn’t even bother to bring up the topic of Jisoo and Dawn for the rest of the conversations.

Still, there was no word from Soyeon, as expected. It was also rather odd that I don’t see her around campus, be it with Ningning or Kyungsoo even for just a chance encounter. I don’t know if she’s doing that on purpose or we’re really just not allowed to see each other with fate dictating what the best is for both of us.

But I guess I could not complain with that. At least she and I could get a huge breathing room.

With the threat of the exams just being around the corner, I figured I might as well grab the chance to catch up with a long-time friend of mine. Who knows when she’ll be busy again?

I messaged Yujin exactly on that night that Dawn and I went our separate ways. Well, given the really tight schedule of this particular woman, I had to arrange our next get-together after quite a long time. Days passed and it was another weekend, and like how it passed by with Hyojong I found myself on a local bubble tea shop with a rather high, wooden ceiling. It was this small, compact space with a natural vibe echoing off of it with the wooden furniture, floorboards, ceiling, as well as the entire house-like feel of it. The open windows raged from all around, with the rear exit offering a veranda filled with chairs coupled with the breath-taking view of the city.

As much as I love the feel of the wind grazing my face as we’d consume our respective bubble teas, with the length of Yujin’s hair it ought to get to her face at some point. I don’t want to ruin her experience here just because of that, so I elected to pick tables indoors.

“Jae-in, heya,” I heard her voice call from the entrance of the shop’s doorway, appearing all in her youthful presence as she supplied me with an enthusiastic smile. “You finally decided to ask me out, hmmm? Can’t seem to find the perfect fairy for all this?”

Ahn Yujin greeted me on the same way she would almost every time I see her, and that is always with a wide smile over her tall stature. She showed up today with the clear understanding that white was the colour for that meet, having decided to wear a matching white long sleeves and track pants, finished with her white sneakers that fixed the over-all get-up while a folded jacket draped over her arm. Yujin had once again decided to have her bangs, and I think it suited her perfectly. Seeing her on a hairstyle I haven’t seen her do since high school, and especially on this time that I haven’t seen her for a while, it felt so nostalgic and very comforting in a way. It did felt like a relief to see my best friend from highschool looking and glowing so well. I’d lie if I didn’t miss this girl one bit.

“Give me a break, Yujin,” I replied to her as I smirked. “This might be on me but it’s far from being a date. I already ordered and it’s already here for you. I was actually serious when I said that your tea might screw itself up when you come in late.”

“Excuse me, oppa; you’re the one who’s early. I’m just in time. If this tastes bad, I’m going to ask you for another one.”

“I’m willing to bet that it’s not. I made sure to get your favourite.”

“Is that so?” Yujin replied as she rather surprisingly took the space next to me instead of the chair opposite where I was seated. She placed the small hand bag she had with her and brushed her bangs before taking the drink ordered for her.

“You know that there is a chair opposite me, right?”

“Well, I can see that. I can also see that you’re smart enough to pick the couch for yourself. In that case, endure sitting there. At least you have a pretty fairy next to you; that’s not a loss whatsoever.”

“It feels like it’s you who missed teasing me, Yujinnah. It almost makes me feel bad that I treated you out here,” I replied to her as a joke, which immediately earned a slap towards my arm.

“Yah, fine I’ll just stop,” she said and then proceeded to sip from the drink I bought her. “So what’s up with the sudden call, Jae-in? Are you heartbroken again?”

Oh my god… the fact that I know she’s joking but at the same time being so spot on is crazy on itself.

Now it feels awkward to open up because she did it first like that.

“I guess that’s the case then. You’re silence is more than enough evidence for it. Plus, your face says it all,” she concluded before I could even speak.

It’s so hard when someone knows you so damn much.

“Come on now… of course at some point I’m going to have to ask you out for us to catch up. I know how busy your department could get, being stuck on huge Chem books and all. I’m surprised that you even squeezed me into your busy sched.”

“It’s not that hectic, Jae-in, really. Most of you people are pretty much exaggerating when it comes to our study habits as well as our activities.”

“Really…? So everything that I’ve been hearing was just an exaggeration? Is that why I never even managed to bump unto you if it was even just by chance? It’s like we’re not even in the same university, you know.”

“Well… actually… it’s not an exaggeration because it’s an understatement, really. Oh my… you have no idea how happy I am that you asked me out, actually. I’ve never felt so burned out recently. You not being my classmate take a lot of time getting used to.”

“You’re not used to being around that much of a girl circle now, do you?”

“It’s… It’s definitely different. The people I’m with now… I feel like they’re so pigeonholed into the one goal of the degree we’re all pursuing. I get that, but I’m naturally a fun and outgoing person so… having to stay back with them feels really hard, especially when I’m used to being with you and not taking things all too seriously while still making things work out. It feels impossible to do that now. I also kinda miss us walking home together and sharing some street food on the way to the apartment like we did before. I can’t do that now because… I need to be high profile to blend in. It sucks for my wallet, too.”

“Did I mishear you or did you just tell me that you missed me?”

Yujin nearly choked from her chocolate mix as she supressed a laugh. That was not really intentional.

“Maybe I did… this entire thing of us going out felt so refreshing to me. I’m being serious now.”

“Well, if that’s the case… I’m happy that I thought of asking you when I did. I just figured that maybe it was high time for us to catch up on a couple different axes. I also figured things have come really differently on our first semester away from each other. I was wondering how you’re dealing with the change.”

“I don’t think I have to worry about you now, do I?” She said; keeping her keen eyes planted on my drink at the desk. “I heard a lot from Kyungsoo-oppa. He told me that you’ve been hanging out a lot with them at bars every weekend. Is that true?”

“Umm…”

Well, technically…

“If that’s really the case, then I’m really envious. I don’t think I’ve touched a single glass of alcohol since we parted ways…. By the way, what did you order? What’s in your cup? I don’t think I’ve seen that before.”

What?

Yujin’s sudden interest to whatever I ordered really threw me off, but then again she was always like this. I was just starting to take in what was going on with her when she grabbed the drink from my end of the table and brought it closer to her face. Yujin then eyed the contents through the small hole of the straw, even closing her other eye to get a better view at it.

“What flavour is this, Jae-in? I don’t think I’ve tried this out before. It looks like a cookie and vanilla mix.”

“Oh uhh… it’s apparently called a Snow Leopard. I got it because I love cookies and cream flavoured things. It’s good. Try it out.”

With that, Yujin nodded and immediately went off to sip from my straw; her eyes lighting up. She then took her drink and slid it on the table towards my side as if beckoning me to taste the very thing I ordered for her. I casually took the drink and took a sip from her straw and my taste buds were immediately filled with the unusual chocolate flavour. I did not expect less from a triple chocolate mix that Yujin dearly loves.

“Damn… that was an experience. I might try that out for myself some time,” she exclaimed as she returned my drink to my side of the table. “I might have drank a bit so it’s a bit lesser than… yeah. You get it.”

“Don’t worry. I expected nothing less, Ahn Yujin.”

She slapped my arm and in turn smiling towards my direction.

“Well, anyway I’ll head us back to the topic at hand before I got distracted. I heard a lot of deals from Kyungsoo, you know; some of which even surprised me so much.”

“I actually did not expect Kyungsoo to tell you something, but that’s not saying that I didn’t want you hearing about me. It’s not like I’m hiding it or anything. It’s just… I was expecting that you’d know soon but from either Kino or Shinwon, not Kyungsoo. I wonder how that went down…”

“I’ll have you know, it was Kyungsoo who told me because he felt so concerned towards you. He didn’t entirely tell me of everything, because in his head those still deserve to be told by you. All he told me was things have been rough for you lately, and asked me to check on you whenever I had the time. They said you’ve pretty much gone incognito from them, especially recently. I guess when you asked me out for this one, maybe it was a huge deciding factor for me to go as well.”

“So I guess he knew that I’d reach you at some point. He’s not wrong. Be it that I’m reaching you out because I want to catch up on a couple of different matters, there’s no denying that thing have been crazy rough lately, especially the couple last weeks. Let’s just say that I’m dealing with the aftermath of that, as you know it affected me now less than it did with… with someone named Jeon Soyeon.”

“Ah, so that’s her name, huh? Well then, we have all afternoon, Jae-in. Now I’m curious. Tell me the entire thing. Tell me how you and this Soyeon girl ended up, and why you decided to cut ties with her once you felt it was wrong.”

---

The one thing that Jae-in loved so much about Yujin was that she has always been a good listener.

She merely sat throughout the entire conversation, merely giving her best friend the occasional nods and shakes whenever there was an interesting detail with regards to the story, but of course included with that were the extreme reactions from Yujin’s rather expressive face. Given how confident he is with her, Jae-in elected to not only include his insights among everything that happened, but also the details he would normally reserve for himself; that included everything, especially intimate moments. As expected, Yujin gave him a face of alarm. The ghost of that expression seemed to have continued until he reached the latter part of his story.

“Well, I guess you can see now why I ended what was going on between us,” Jae-in said with a clear conclusion. “It’s crazy, right? We haven’t gotten halfway through the semester yet and I already have this on the bag. It speaks too much about how bothered I am with the sudden development.”

“My god, Jae-in… I didn’t expect this to be this involved! You know what, I haven’t met this girl yet and I already do not like the sound of everything. It feels like there’s nothing linking you together aside from your sudden outbursts of hormones, and that’s even trying to call it by the simplest of ways, believe me. You two are just horny, especially during all this.”

“I… I guess so…”

“You know, the fact that it turned out the way it did, it somehow reminded me of your ex. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who felt that, right?”

“That’s… well, most of the reason why I chose to back off largely was because of Wonyoung. Things have been… I don’t even know how to put it out, actually. I just felt that it was wrong to continue because it was something that I never wanted in the first place. It sucks that it even had to go to that degree that it was already too difficult to let her go given the circumstances. At this point, I’m just happy that I pulled it off.”

“As you should,” Yujin replied earnestly. She then proceeded to place her now-empty drink over the table and cross her legs afterwards. “My god, I could not even imagine how much of a sump we’ll have to go through again if she ended up being like exactly like Wonyoung. I would not be surprised if she did. I mean, look at her; she’s pretty much a girl who could get any guy she would like. They tend to get really reactive and loud expressing their feelings but when they don’t get what they want, the results would automatically be a disaster for the guy… for you, Yoon Jae-in.”

“Ummm…”

“Damn, can you imagine how things turned out with you and Wonyoung from before? Do you still remember how she hated me so much just for the fact that you’re my best friend… it’s as if I could do something about that? Hello…? What am I supposed to do? I’m not even wedging myself between you two and she acts as if we’re having sex in the dark.”

Jae-in chuckled.

“I do remember that; of course. We almost never go out together even for a small lunch out because he’s always like a detective watching me all the time. It’s so uncomfortable. I can’t even nod or greet you when we bump into each other while you have Wonyoung walking beside you, Jae-in. One small eye-contact between us, I immediately get a glare from her, Oh my god; I think she wants me to stop being your best friend back then. She wants me to be invisible when you’re around, like what the fuck?”

Jae-in chuckled and Yujin smiled at his reaction.

“You know, Yujin, now that I’m openly talking about this, that’s pretty much how it turned out before. You know how Wonyoung and I always argued about you; that she’s threatened of our friendship given how our relationship developed from us initially being best friends as well. She always thought that at some point, I’ll give her up for you. I’m pretty sure that it did happen, you know; I chose you as my best friend instead of sulking on our doomed relationship anyway.”

“Jae-in, hearing all this from you makes me want to go out and eat lunch with you, but not a normal one. We should make sure that Wonyoung sees it as well, just so we can show her how our friendship thrived further the moment that she was out of the picture. I want to show her that a guy and a girl could be friends without falling for each other.”

“You… you talk as if we didn’t really try to make something else out of this,” Jae-in remarked calmly. “In a way, we’re not really a good example for that, all things considered.”

“Well, the keyword was we DID try to make something out of it. It just didn’t feel right. I never thought that I’d ever be awkward to you, and I don’t want that one week of attempted dating to happen again between us. We’re soul mates Jae-in, and maybe that means that we’re destined to be the best of friends since the very beginning.”

“If you put it out that way, it makes me feel so happy that we chose friendship instead of making something impossible out of this one. You always had my back, Yujin. I’ll always be grateful for that”

“We didn’t work out, Jae-in, because I know that I’m not really your type,” Yujin said with a tone of humour, covering her mouth with her hand in the process. “And that’s okay for me, you know. I have no problems with it.”

“Wait, wait, that’s interesting, since you brought it up, what do you think my type is, exactly? What does Ahn Yujin think of Yoon Jae-in’s ideal girl and that is in terms of a lot of factors. Let’s hear you enumerate everything.”

“Ahh, so we’re in that stage now, hmm?” Yujin said before shifting her place on the couch and then rubbing her palms together. “Now this is interesting. Are you asking this from me so that you can confirm the similarities with what I’m about to say?”

“Maybe… or perhaps I could get an idea because I felt like I haven’t been running standards for a long time. It doesn’t have to be so complex, and you can base it on the previous people I’ve taken a liking on.”

“Well, I can’t do everything because we might take all afternoon… how about three?”

“Fair. Let’s do that.”

“Good enough. Well for starters, girls that are way too feminine do not pique your interest in any way, Jae-in. I’m pretty sure you are aware of that. You don’t like the typical text-book reserved, campus-crush kind of deal. You don’t like girls who are very well known because they are using fame to be something else. I get that it’s not that bad, but you’re not just into it because it feels fake. Does that make any sense?”

“It’s not something I would expect to come from you but I think I can understand it.”

“Good. Next, you’re more into people with strong personalities, which conflicts the other interest I just mentioned. I don’t know, but there’s a thin line between people you like who are have a very strong presence but not being over-all too feminine and vulgar about at the same time. I can get understand it in my head but I can’t find the words for it. I’ve been you friend for so long and I think I can understand it without words. I mean, I’ve met some people who were so timid and shy on the face value and yet they’re much defined once you get to know them. It’s kind of like that.”

The fact that she knows so much about me, up to this degree is somehow amazing and scary at the same time. It makes me wonder if I’m that much obvious whenever I’m with her.

But then again, maybe I am. I’m just that comfortable when I’ve with Yujin that I don’t seem to mind what kind of stories I spill to her. This conversation was way more yielding than I thought.

“Now for the last one, this one feels more like an observation from my end but somehow attracted to mature girls. It does not necessarily mean that you’re into girls that are older than you, but often enough age is often associated with maturity so I guess things tend to curve that way when it’s all said and done. It correlates. I guess there’s that sense of security that you get when it comes to people like that. In a way, it perfectly concludes all of the points I’ve stated previously.”

“I don’t think that… that it’s entirely true for Wonyoung. I mean, our ages are not that far apart you know.”

“Honestly, Wonyoung or even the Soyeon girl does not fit any of the traits I have mentioned. That explains why it was not a surprise that you decided to cut it off. On Wonyoung, I could understand, because at least you two developed from friends, but for the Soyeon girl, I guess it was pretty self-explanatory.”

“I guess so… I suddenly became conscious of the traits you mentioned, you know. I can’t bring myself to not consider them the next time that I take a liking into someone…”

“And you should, so that you won’t just fall on someone who barely even fits your standards. At least by then you’d be able to sort things out for yourself. I get it, Jae-in; love is one huge trial and error, but how many errors are you planning to bust through that you’ll finally let yourself loose for the world, hmm?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Jae-in, you’re a very soft, kind-hearted person and that’s about one thing that I really love about you. I’m pretty sure that I’m not the first one who said that, but on times like these it’s working against you. You need to learn when to say ‘no’ and keep you standards to yourself, because at the end of the day you still need to look after yourself. Can’t date ever girl in the world to find out if you’re compatible or not, right?”

“I’m trying to keep that in mind, Yujin… it’s just that with this Soyeon situation, I let it unfold to a painfully hard situation to get out of before I even began to make a move. It’s a mistake I don’t intend to do again.”

Jae-in sat there in silence, keeping his gaze peeled towards the empty drink he had in front of him. He may have stayed in that state for so long that Yujin grew concerned. There was a sudden, surprising sensation from his left side, only for it to be revealed to be from Yujin’s end. Somehow through the silence, she placed her hand over his as an act of affirmation and assurance. She then clasped it, making sure that Jae-in felt the presence of her then and there.”

“Don’t think of it badly, Jae-in. I’m not blaming you for everything that happened to you. In fact, I really admire your courage for being honest to the girl. No one should take away the emotions you battled while you’re at it, as well. Also… as much as I’m trying to force these sorts of ideas unto you, in the end we’re still human beings. Things could not be bound ideally, as they say.

“Finding a perfect person definitely involves a bound of luck as well as a good stroke of fate. You’ll never know when you’ll meet her, or if you’ve even met her already. The range of your destiny could be someone you’ve already spent a long time being with to someone you accidentally tripped over on the way home. It’s easier once you let your heart welcome it instead of your mind.”

I honestly don’t know if she’s aware of the mixed messages she’s sending about. However, there’s no denying that things like this are pretty hard to understand. In fact, a woman’s heart is hard to understand, as I heard someone wise once said.

“Sorry, I got carried away,” Yujin said finally, returning them both back to earth once again as she shook her head. “We should go, Jae-in; we’ve stayed so long here that we’re already hogging the best seat in the entire shop. Besides, I want to walk the park for a bit if you’re game. Shall we?”

And with one final nod, Jae-in agreed. The preparation to leave was as quick as the decision to do so with Yujin being the first one to head on off for them both. However, as Yoon Jae-in and Ahn Yujin walk towards the wide doors of the welcoming shop, the young man was dazed with the apparition of their final conversation; clearly curious as to what kind of destiny the future holds for a guy like him.

He has a feeling that fate would confirm his destiny very soon.

---

Next Chapter: Black Swan

#kpop series #kpop story #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #ive yujin #gidle soyeon #jang wonyoung

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daydream-cement · 1 year

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Hello! I just love your Larissa Weems fic and oneshots. Like I am obsessed. You’ve gifted us with mind blowing smut and I thank you for it. Is it okay to have a fluffy comfort oneshot where reader is a student and doesn’t really have great parents. Like their parents doesn’t support her or something and for some reason Larissa is like a mother figure of some sort. I’m imagining this happens when the parents visit school. But you can totally change that if you have something better hehe.

It Will All Be Okay

Larissa Weems x student!reader

Author Note: Be gentle with this one guys. I based a lot of this convo off of a real one I had with my own ‘school mom’.

You sat on the steps of the grand entryway crying. Parents Weekend had just ended and everything about it had completely sucked. Your mother had come to visit you alone when you father decided that a last-minute work ‘thing’ was more important. The only trouble with this is your father was the emotional buffer between you and your mother’s personalities. In fact, you were a lot like each other. That was the problem.

You were so similar and stubborn that never in your life had she supported you different decisions. You had finally shared with your mother your dream job, yet it wasn’t good enough for her. She wanted you to go into the family business- swindling people of their blood at a fake blood bank. It almost felt offensive to you that this was the business of your vampire family. It felt so stereotypical.

So you successfully spent the whole weekend fighting and now that your mother was gone, you felt entirely brokenhearted. Why couldn’t she support you like you needed?

“Are you quite alright?” The voice of your principal rang out behind you. You felt so embarrassed. You shouldn’t have been crying out in the open in the first place. You kept your head low, wiping away your tears with the end of your sleeve.

Your lack of a response didn’t deter Principal Weems. You heard her heels click down the steps until she was seated a step down from you so she could see your face best, “Tell me what’s wrong, y/n.”

You sighed, but when you began your sentence you began crying again. This time to the point in which you couldn’t speak. You covered your face from her, not wanting to let Principal Weems see.

Larissa moved where she was seated once again, moving up to sit right next to you. Her arm wrapped around your shoulders and she pulled you into her. You accepted her hug readily, shifting yourself so you could put both your arms around her. The comforting hug caused a shakey sigh to release from your body, finally feeling a sense of safety.

Weems heard your sigh and spoke once again, releasing you from the hug, “Doesn’t it feel good to cry a bit. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You explained it all. The dream job. The classes you have been taking to prepare you for it. Finally you told her about your mother’s less than desired reaction and her insistence on making you work for the family blood bank.

Larissa gave you a gentle smile, seeming like she completely understood what you were going through, “My parents wanted me to go into the family business too. ‘Shapeshifters work in law enforcement,’ she used to tell me. But I loved schools and teaching. Plus, it’s like being a police officer around here, you kids can be so crazy.”

You give a breathy snort as a way of laughing at her joke. Principal Weems seeming to understand the pain you were in. She continued on, “Regardless, parents sometimes place a burden on their children. Sometimes it’s because they didn’t accomplish something or sometimes their scared of you doing something new.”

“But why should she be so scared of what I’m doing?” You retort, getting a tad angry thinking about the multiple discussions you have had with your mother over the past weekend.

“Probably because she loves you. Humans are weird.” Larissa tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and looked down at you intently. Both of her hands moved to your cheeks, her intensity made a couple more tears fall, “Everything is going to be okay.”

The way she said it made you believe it. With that, Principal Weems helped you to your feet, placing both hands on your shoulders when you were standing. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head when she enveloped you into a final hug.

“Better?” She asked, pulling away from the hug.

You took a deep breath and released it slowly, nodding at Principal Weems, “Better.”

“Okay, now run along. I don’t want you missing dinner.” Her hand was on your shoulder as she gently pressed you to head towards the cafeteria.

You nod, hopping down the steps, now in a far better mood.

“Oh, and Mx. L/n, I know someone who works in that career field. Perhaps I can put you in touch?” Weems called after you.

You stopped and spun around, a large smile on your face, “That would be great! Thanks, mom- I mean, Principal Weems.”

“Anytime, dear.”

#wednesday netflix #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #fanfic #oneshot

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aeonophagic · 3 months

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I'm really glad you enjoyed these! the translator is actually user 17979 on here, they've written some really good After God fanfics and are a good friend of mine! the other parts they've translated are: original: "His soul seemed to have left his body. He was unfettered. There was no fear or panic. He felt nothing."

original: "It does not matter. They are one and the same. I need his power. I underestimated him."

and this one is more just a funny one from our treasured translator:

I'll have you know I had about the same reaction to the "You are the story I started 50.000 years ago" line, it just brings up so many questions; VA's lore is scattered as it is and very little is given to us, so just dropping something like this in a convo I doubt a lot of people have read is so [vague hand gestures] it's quite late at night when I'm writing this so forgive any incomprehensibility: the line itself, combined with some others there ("It's tone was surprisingly laden with grief, as if it was lamenting a past that could not return") read to me as slightly contrary to VA being merely a Divine Key, it sounds like he has an amount of history in the PE; my personal idea that is pure unadulterated speculation is that VA might have started out as just a person who had something to do with the PE HoR? it would explain the fact that he repeatedly speaks to a "you" which is clearly not actually Joey in this convo and doesn't seem to be Welt Joyce either considering the 50k years thing, that is to say maybe VA even inherited the core (woo Welt paralel) of the PE HoR; considering that Vill-V does say that the Core of Reason is fucking weird [paraphrasing] and, at least if my memory is holding up, Welt did retreat into the Herrscher Core at least once to avoid dying, there's nothing saying VA couldn't have also pulled that and ended up getting his ass merged with that Fragment of Prommy and turned into the only DK we know to be sentient, I dunno I'm sleep deprived that being said the 3rd line I sent last time would imply that VA was also like not human if all of this happened... I'll just say he yoinked a body Orokapi style and call it a day cuz I think if I keep trying to get these thoughts down on paper they will actually become complete word vomit [thumbs up emoji] anyhow the ramble section ended up being longer than I intended... but the fact that we really know so little of his lore does make my brain go haywire, if they ever explain Void Archives' lore properly that'll probably all be disproven but it's what I came up with considering what we know (and I remember)

“There was no more gravity that bound him to the mortal world” I think this one is in reference to Void Archives likely using the Fenghuang Down… ouuu

I definitely think the PE Herrschers besides Elysia all being nothing more than the names of said Herrschers in the story is one of the things that blocks my road here. Me and a friend have theorised plenty of things about the PE HoR, but none can be confirmed, none are even implied!!! A character with such a nothingburger that you can just make shit up and no one could tell you yes or no. My favorite theory is that the PE HoR looked just like Otto, but a girl. Because it’s funny. But now I don’t know… I can’t sacrifice my integrity for humor… I think the idea of the person that used to be what later became Void Archives was a part of the HoR core is really interesting. It would take from the whole “artificial thing struggles with humanity”, because then they’d have already been human once, but at the same time it would be as if they were reclaiming their humanity which is also intriguing etc etc… it’s really interesting. I initially thought Void Archives’ sentience came from them being part Prometheus since she’s sentient too, but at the same time why would Vill-V merge them with her then..? Because Prometheus is an AI so she can handle the “ever expanding knowledge”? Don’t know… so much left in the air, most Void Archives lore we know is stitched together thanks to No.17 who hasn’t talked about them even once. Thank you for sharing!!! I’m having lots of thoughts…

#rajatalk #void archives #hi3

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blushydrangea · 1 month

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idk if this is just me being oversensitive or reflecting, but i didn't like how the other queens talk to nymphia in untucked. while i think that is fine that they voiced their frustrations, as someone who suffers from anxiety that whole convo felt kind of off puting. just let the girl expresed her worries.

also, she struggled in other comedy challenges before, why it's so hard for the other to think that she maybe was afraid of screw up? in the snatch game she was in the bottom 3, and they kept telling her that she should have been in the bottom 2... idk, maybe everyone is a little stressed about the competition, but it felt kind of weird.

sorry for my broken english (native spanish speaker here 🙃) but that whole thing did bother me a little bit.

HI. oh my god i completely understand where you're coming from! i don't wanna put all the blame on the girls because i do understand that nymphia struggles when expressing her concerns & she does (usually) turn it once it's time for the actual challenge, but it stung to see how she was trying to explain to them how the emotions are very real to her and she isn't good with words in general & yet it felt like nobody cared enough to see it from her side. i was so thankful to Q for defending her by saying sometimes people get nervous but then wind up delivering anyways.

nymph isn't the bragging type and didn't tell anyone she was a seamstress for the ball challenge (& also she did most of the ties look in her hotel room), so i think she's perpetually the 'sneaky queen' to the others, kinda like kameron michaels was on s10. i was also super upset at how, to me, after snatch game it seemed like the girls loved xunami and were kinda letting out their frustration that she was eliminated on nymphia, who hands down had the best look of the night and didn't deserve to be questioned like that.

it also hurt that nymphia didn't defend herself, idk if she agreed with them or if it's simply a part of her personality, but yeah, if you compare it to this last episode where plane jane fiercely defended what she did from everyone else, i wish nymphia would learn a bit from her favorite, as said by herself lmao.

the bottom line is that it sucks to watch the show knowing what we know, that nymphia's anxiety is very real, & watch very nice people not believe in her. what sucks the most to me is how the fandom also doesn't believe in her, like why would a person pretend to be nervous and visibly struggle every single challenge shdidhfksj. what we can do is support our girl and make sure she knows she's loved, which she definitely is.

thanks for the ask anon!! and your english is great don't worry <3

#asks #anon #re: nymphia wind

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kittycatxoxo1 · 1 year

Text

fanfic idea!!!

.........

shoto remembers having a imaginary friend when he was 7, he can't remember its face but he used to remember its face till he was 12 then almost everything about it was gone like it was wiped from his mind.

the LOV was captured and being put in a reform program, endeavor having a big house and the #1 hero (wanting to look good) gave the lov a place to live while they were in the program. shoto didn't really mind them being there like magne was cool! she liked messing with his hair trying out new hairstyles on him, toga was ok a little blood crazy but she was nice and liked to do fashion shows with shoto both trying new styles! tomura was odd he really liked talking in gaming terms but he was nice enough to teach shoto how to play a lot of his favorite games.

kurogiri was quite but willing to listen to shoto vent, mr.compress likes to show off his magic tricks (which shoto loves) and spinner likes to preach about stain (which shoto does not love)

the only one shoto cant get along with was dabi! it was like just looking at shoto made the ex villain sick and shoto didn't understand why.

one day shoto, tomura, magne and dabi were watching tv when dabi just blurts out "im your brother" making everyone look at him confused and dabi looking at shoto says "im your older brother" tomura and magne are flabbergasted like ????? they knew dabi for years and not once did that scared up asshole ever tell them.

shoto racks his brain "i dont have a older brother" dabi rolls his eyes "uh yeah, you do. touya, ya remember that name?" dabi asked with sarcasm in his voice making shotos face go a bit red "i think id remember having an older brother if i had one" and as soon as he said that endeavor happened to walk by.

endeavor looks up from his phone "oh, you do" shoto looks at endeavor confused "i do what?"

endeavor looks back at his phone "you have- well had an older brother but i payed someone to wipe those memories" he said like he was talking about the weather not even caring to look at his youngest when he dropped that bombshell on him

shoto just sits in silence trying really hard to remember if he had a older brother, his voice, his face, did he have their moms quirk? but nothing came up

tomua a even more shocked says "why the fuck would you do that??" really confused making endeavor roll his eyes in a way that makes shiggy go 'dabi really is a todoroki'

"because, shoto kept screaming for him when he needed to train" he sighed "it was always 'touya help me!' 'please come back' and 'touya, touya, touya!' and i got sick of it" all of that said in a tone like if one was talking about a younger sibling annoying them

magne and tomura sat in shocked silence, shoto in panic still rilling about having his memories wiped and dabi just sat looking off to the side.

endeavor just walks away not caring (ew)

late at night dabi lays awake in his room still thinking about what happened when he hears shuffling at his door, he gets up and opens the door only to see shoto standing there looking awkward af shoto glances at dabi but quickly looks at the floor "can i come in?" he asks quietly, dabi sighs but let him in just wanting this weird convo to be over as quickly as possible

"i dont think they got everything" shoto said quickly making dabi freeze "who didn't get what?" he asked

shoto sits on dabis desk chair and dabi sits on the bed "whoever wiped my memories didnt get everything" shoto says "explain"

"well they got the memories where i could see you but not the ones where i could see you at the corner of my eye" shoto explained "like i remember training with the old man and seeing a boy in the corner of my eye watching me" dabi remembers doing that watching shoto with hatred in his eyes as shoto does the training that dabi was supposed to do.

shoto keeps going "and i remember waking down hallways and just catching a glimpse of a boy but never really seeing him" shoto gives a little laugh "i thought you were my imaginary friend" that made dabi give his own laugh.

_________________________________________

i came up with this at 5am lol

i just really want shoto to interact with the lov like how everyone has deku interact with them!! just shoto vibing with them!!!

just know this in free to use!! so if u want to write it you can!

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kadavernagh · 11 months

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Talons and Skulls || Regan & Kaden

TIMING: Current (prior to dash convo) LOCATION: At the Medical Examiner's office PARTIES: Regan and Kaden (Featuring old friend Janice the janitor) SUMMARY: There's a hungry ker stalking the morgue, and Regan called animal control to come deal with it. She didn't expect a disgruntled French officer, Kaden, to make a mess of things -- and himself -- in the process.

The vulture had been there for hours, and the whole time, Regan had been there watching it. From atop the morgue, it stayed still as a statue. And all day, it had been dive bombing everyone coming in or out, desperately trying to get into the building. Scratching up Marcy had been the last straw. Though she had a certain appreciation for scavengers, this one was not welcome and not getting near her decedents. If she got close enough to grab it, she could – no, not here. She wouldn’t do that in this place. And besides, the bird was too swift and too strong for her to grab and subdue just like that. What species was it, anyway? Regan frowned, taking in its serrated maw and weird, scraggly lizard tail. Non-native, probably.

She knew she needed help. Sighing, she dialed what was surely a popular number in this town. “Hello, is this Animal Control? This is Dr. Kavanagh down at the morgue. Yes, the medical examiner. Listen, do you have– no, no this is important.” She pressed her hand to her forehead, wondering how she could explain this without sounding insane or, worse, incompetent. “There’s this vulture. Trying to get into the morgue. Yes, I know it can’t– it’s attacking people who are entering. What’s it look like? It’s a beautiful building, big sign on the front that says– oh, you mean the vulture. Um, it has wings, a naked head, and sharp talons. I’ll be here, thank you.”

She already felt sorry for whatever poor rookie they were sending, and could only hope they came prepared for those claws.

Kaden sat in the car, pinching his nose between his brow. He had pulled into the parking lot of the morgue a minute or so earlier but he didn’t want to get out of his truck right away. The report that came over the radio played back in his mind again. A large vulture attacking people at the morgue. He couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been to hope that for once, it was an actual vulture. Of course it wasn’t going to be that easy, he could see the problem from here and it sure as shit wasn’t a vulture.

He could see it looming on the rooftops from the van. He also saw someone in a lab coat waiting in the parking lot and approaching him, likely impatient. “Animal control,” he said as he swung the door open and headed to the back of the truck to pull out his weapons. “You called about a vulture?” The cry coming from the monster on the roof was far from anything natural, nothing close to what a vulture sounded like. Kaden put his hand over his brow to shield his face from the sun as he tried to get a better look at it. Fucking ker if he ever saw one. Yeah, it was time for the rifle. No way could he even put up a front trying to snare-pole that.

Regan watched the bird from a safe distance until she saw a car pull into the lot, helpfully labeled as Wicked’s Rest’s Animal Control. She had been careful not to come close enough to incur the vulture’s wrath, but watching it sit there and pluck blood and tissue from its claws only made her more eager to take care of this problem. But not angry. No, she couldn’t be angry. Regan turned to the vehicle, watching as a uniformed man stepped out of the car. He had only been here for a few seconds and already looked exhausted. He also sounded very French. “Yes, that was me.” She considered extending a hand, then thought better of it. “Dr. Kavanagh, Medical Examiner. And birdwatcher, now.” She eyed him, scanning for anything he had on hand that might be able to subdue the animal. She wasn’t sure what she expected. Maybe one of those long nets to fish debris out of swimming pools.

“Are you familiar? What species do you think it is?” She knew of turkey vultures – there were plenty of them around here – but this bird had none of that familiarity. She’d also never had a turkey vulture look at her… quite like this. The bird’s pinprick pupils bore right into Regan’s, then Animal Control’s, as if issuing a challenge. Come get me if you can.

“Officer Langley,” Kaden offered. He wasn’t sure who he expected to meet him once he got there but he wouldn’t have guessed it would be Dr. Kavanagh. Mostly because he assumed it would be someone who worked the front desk or an intern or someone, but also because it didn’t look like she saw a whole lot of sunlight. This must be unusual for her. “Yeah, I’m familiar alright,” he said, catching another glance at the winged beast clinging to the rooftop. “It’s a type of vulture,” he said without a moment’s pause. This wasn’t the first time he’d had to come up with alternative explanations for the supernatural. Hell, that was part of his training. “Likes to eat dead things. Guess that’s why it’s here.”

He pulled the gun out of the back and made sure it was loaded, shoving a few extra rounds into the pouch looped around his belt and hanging off his hip. He grabbed the pistol, too, just in case. Before he turned back to face the doctor, he rummaged around until he felt the knots and rope all strung together. “Here,” he said, handing the net to the medical examiner. “If you plan to stick around, I could use the extra hands.” At the very least it would be helpful if she got it closer to the doorway.

Kaden backed up and aimed his gaze towards the roof again, scoping out any potential angles to get at the monster. “Putain,” he said under his breath. He sighed as he slung his rifle across his back and grabbed the snare-pole (though that one was mostly for show). “The sun’s directly behind this piece of–” He cleared his throat and corrected himself. “Behind the bird, I mean. No way I can get a clean shot on it. We’re going to have to lure it down.”

“Nice to meet you, officer.” And it was true – it would be nice to meet anyone who could get rid of this vulture. And Kaden seemed like a weathered expert. He recognized the species and came prepared, something Regan always appreciated. She figured she could simply step back and watch the ordeal, but when a net was pushed toward her, she frowned down at it. “I guess this is better than being armed with nothing at all,” she admitted. But the net felt strangely oversized in her hands; she grappled with it for a moment before her fingers tightened around the knots. As with all things, she would learn to wield it, if it was required of her.

“What did you just say?” Regan blinked at him, backing up toward the door to have that base covered. That was the bird’s favorite spot. Even now, its keen eyes were staring down, just waiting for someone else to step out so it could have an opportunity to stuff its way inside the building or divebomb someone deeply unlucky. “Now doesn’t seem like an ideal time to get poutine. Maybe once this has been taken care of. It’s an awfully fatty food, though – hardly something I would recommend in terms of–”

Of course, the door opened. “Wait!” Regan shouted, the glass pane of the door wobbling in response. Oh, feces. But it was unheeded. From the other side, Janice the janitor paused for a second at Regan’s sharp voice, then swung the door open with a deeply concerned look on his face. Didn’t Marcy tell everyone not to leave the morgue? Did she forget the janitor? The bird shrieked and stretched its great wings. Before Regan could even fully process what was inevitably about to happen, the vulture went careening toward Janice, talons-first. It was so frenzied, so ravenous, that a puff of feathers shed from its wings as it tore through the air. Janice screamed as his view was quickly obscured by the brutal bird, and just barely ducked out of the way in time for only his hat to be clawed off his head.

“What?” Kaden had no idea why she was asking about food right now. And poutine of all things. Was she Canadian or something? Didn’t make any sense but he didn’t have time to dwell on that as the door to the morgue swung open. “Putain de merde,” he grumbled again. That was not the kind of bait he was looking for.

The doctor yelled before he could say anything and it felt like pins digging into his ear drums. Kaden winced and had to fight back the urge to let his hands fly to his ears. Merde, he was better than this, trained better. A simple shout shouldn’t have been enough to set off his hearing, as sensitive as it was. It was enough to distract him, though. Enough to keep him from leaping at the door before the man walked out and enough to make him fumble with his weapon as the monster flew down, talons ready to strike.

The guy was fucking lucky that all the ker got was his hat. It could have easily crushed his skull. But now the beast was close. Kaden aimed the rifle and took a few quick shots at the monster. The creature’s screeching was nearly drowned out by the sounds of glass wall shattering behind it. “Shit.” He hadn’t considered the structure of the building before, he just shot first. It seemed the thing was at least injured, blood pouring from one of its wings but it also had a new way towards its prey. “Run!” Kaden shouted at the janitor who hadn’t gotten the hell out of there yet.

Regan didn’t flinch at the gunshots that rang out. A one, two, three that penetrated the air, the second bullet making the vulture plummet downward. The third got only the glass. That elicited a wince. Usually she was the one breaking it, and almost always because dumb, human emotion seeped in where it no longer belonged or fit. “Don’t worry about the glass. It doesn’t matter. It’s replaceable.” And as the vulture shrieked again, picking itself up and shedding blood as it spread its injured wing, she cared even less about the state of the window.

“Get out of here!” Regan shouted at Janice just as Kaden had, gesturing emphatically toward the cars parked on the lot. Janice’s eyes widened and he stood, stammering. He was not hired for his intelligence. Actually, Regan wasn’t sure why or when he was hired. It was way before her time. He was a decent enough janitor and left her well enough alone for her to appreciate him. “Go.” She repeated, gesturing again. With that, he nodded and bolted toward his car. Oh, so he was the Honda with the CLNUP vanity plate. That made sense.

“There shouldn’t be any other surprises,” Regan said, sprinting back toward Kaden and the writhing bird, who seemed to be none the worse for wear. Though, observing its clumsy soaring, maybe it was slowing down after all. “Marcy is still in there, and she told everyone in the lobby to stay put, I guess she just forgot – it doesn’t matter. Shoot it!” She held the net up lamely in her hands, though the bird was so far out of reach. “I don’t care if it lives or not. I just want it gone.” Although… “But if you do kill it, I want to keep it. It’s not migratory, is it? So try to shoot it somewhere that doesn’t damage the plumage too much.” It would already be a task cleaning up the existing bullet wound. “Um, if you can. Please.”

The janitor had enough sense to run. Good. One less thing to worry about. The ker flicked its wings, blood splattering all around as they did. It wasn’t ready to give up on a good meal. It crouched down, leaned into its heels and was about to lunge after the janitor. Shit. Kaden couldn’t let that happen, letting off another few rounds. One hit its side and the monster screamed, turning its focus to the hunter now instead.

Good. That’s what Kaden wanted.

The creature rocked back and pounced towards him, razor-sharp talons open wide and directed right to his chest. Fuck. Kaden threw himself out of the way and into shards of glass shattered on the concrete. He was thankful for his tough skin, there were only a few pieces that had sliced him open. Didn’t do much to stop the stinging, though. And it didn’t do much to stop the ker’s talons from ripping through his jeans and into his leg. Kaden grit his teeth and did his best not to scream out in pain. He grabbed a handful of shattered glass and threw it at the monster – enough to make it loosen its grip on his leg.

“I’m trying!” he shouted back at her as he scrambled to stand, fumbling for the rifle. The fuck did she think he was doing, anyway? Trying to make the building insurance rates go up? Putain.

He got his grip around the barrel but there wasn’t time to aim. Kaden twisted and slammed the end of the barrel into the beast, aiming for the wound in its side. It cried out and shirked away, turning towards the morgue. Putain de merde, it was going to go inside the building.

“Wait!” Regan yelled again, all too loud, as Kaden took a plunge and collected sprinkles of glass in his skin as he hit the ground like a lint roller. She was used to broken glass becoming a mainstay of her life, but others weren’t, and on the rare occasion she exposed others to these accidents, they often ended up stuck like pin cushions. She was already planning on getting him fixed up after, but the bird’s talons took a quick swipe at his leg and that made it a damn certainty. Regan grimaced against the obvious pain Kaden was in, and a scream rattled in her lungs, encouraging her to free it. It could help. It could spare more injury, could save a life. But she wasn’t ready to resort to that yet, and could only hope she was making the right decision.

As Kaden fumbled with the firearm, Regan tried to approach without the bird being alerted to her presence, net readied and taut between her hands. She wasn’t even sure she could successfully throw it over the vulture if she managed to get close enough, but she had to try. This wasn’t going well at all.

The round was fired first, and the bird called out in an undulating shriek as it tore into the air as quickly as it could and whirred straight toward the morgue. It couldn’t get inside, not without the door open, unless it was prepared to crash right through the –

If Regan thought she would be responsible for most of the broken glass today, she had another thing coming. The bird collided with the huge glass window that overhung the main door, and several panes and cracks shattered on impact, crashing to the ground in a million slivers. Regan’s mouth fell open. But the vulture, at least, wasn’t inside. The force of the impact seemed to really stun it, and it fell to the ground again squirming around in pain. “Can you get it now?” Regan called to Kaden, finding her words. “I – you can damage the plumage. It’s fine. Whatever. Your leg is less fine.” She swallowed thickly against her other concern. “And I don’t know if everyone inside is okay. That was a lot of glass.”

Damage the plumage? Putain de merde, was she actually concerned about damaging the goddamn plumage? If he had time, Kaden would have looked at her with stunned disbelief, but there wasn’t any to spare. The hunter pulled himself up, steadied his upper body as best as he could, and aimed the shotgun. He kept his gaze straight down the barrel. It was easy to let himself get flustered in these sorts of situations, his instinct was to act fast rather than act smart. But years of training had rewritten Kaden’s instincts and instead of allowing the pressure of time to force his hand, he breathed deep, letting time slow down as he lined up the shot. The monster was limping and clawing its way towards the morgue, determined to get at the corpses waiting to be its meal.

Kaden inhaled, looked down the barrel and aimed at the creature’s chest. It was bobbing up and down, but the hunter exhaled and let the gun settle into place, still, and he waited. Waited. The ker bobbed down. Waited. The ker began to rise back up and—

Bang.

The bullet tore straight through the monster’s heart, its last cry ringing out as it crumbled to the ground, twitching and writhing before going still and silent. Kaden pushed himself up from the floor, doing what he could to avoid the glass shattered around him. He approached the beast and gave it a nudge with the toe of his boot. Its limp limb flopped up and crashed right back down to the ground. Seemed dead enough. But Kaden wasn’t one for taking chances.

Bang.

One more shot right through its skull. Better safe than sorry. “Should be good now,” he said, turning back to Dr. Kavanagh. He gave the scene a quick glance. Shattered windows. Glass everywhere. A monster corpse slumped on the ground. And blood splattered all over the place. “Uh, sorry about the mess.”

She felt it – the moment the bullet did its work and the vulture’s heart stopped beating, and it became another one of her dead. Her flesh prickled and for a moment, it was like she felt everything the bird no longer could, a rush of life exploding under her skin and inside her skull. Regan sighed, content, and she couldn’t say whether it was because of how pleasant the company suddenly felt – the dead vulture, that is – or because the threat was handled. As the gunshot echoed in her ears, only the inert remains of the bird held her attention. “You got it.” She said, acknowledging a job well done.

Regan scanned the warzone of glass covering the parking lot and let out a whistle that only caused another chunk of fractured glass to pop out of its window frame. She’d done worse. Saol Eile nearly kicked her out several times in those early months, not always offering a great amount of understanding or compassion toward her for not knowing any semblance of control. And besides, most of this was because of the bird, not Kaden himself. “It can be cleaned up, and the glass replaced. People are harder to replace. I mean, not in terms of hiring. That’s easy. But – you know, if they were killed by a hungry vulture.” She approached the remains, waiving all caution due to her confidence in its deceased status, and itched to examine it. She didn’t hold back. Greedily, Regan extended one of the bird’s massive wings, admiring each glistening dark feather, only some of which were tarred with fresh blood. She wasn’t sure how long she had been standing there before reality sank back in, and she remembered Kaden was there, too.

“Anyway, can you help me get it inside? I would like to keep it, unless you have any objections. Oh, but – you can have your choice of parts, of course. You have my thanks. And more importantly, I need to have a look at your leg. How much does it hurt?” She looked down, frowning at the blood that was getting soaked into the denim of his pants. Actually, it looked like it might have been worse than she thought. Maybe he shouldn’t be carrying much of anything right now. “Um, or we could do that out here. If you can’t walk.”

“Yeah, thanks. I know,” Kaden replied as he stepped away from the corpse to try and gather himself. He wasn’t sure what he expected her to do, but he wasn’t expecting that. She descended on the dead body and was immediately examining it. His eyes narrowed as he watched her studying the ker. Something about it unsettled him, but he couldn’t put a finger on what. She had to know by now that this was clearly not a vulture, and yet, it didn’t seem like that elicited any fear in her. Did that mean she knew about the existence of the supernatural in some capacity? Or did it mean that she was just that unfamiliar with the anatomy of birds?

Her offer to have his pick of parts definitely didn’t do anything to ease his mind there. “I can help you get it inside, sure.” He didn’t know why she wanted it and he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know. The thought struck him that she was involved in medicine, a doctor. Meaning this would be giving a doctor a supernatural creature to study. Which was completely against his hunter’s codes. Putain. What the hell was he going to do now? Well… He supposed if she was already aware of the supernatural, it wasn’t so bad. “Just, uh, keep it to yourself. If you can.” Kaden didn’t have a reason to offer her and he hoped she didn’t ask. “Parts are all yours, though. I’m good.” Wait. His brows furrowed for a moment, trying to remember if there were any parts worth keeping or selling to a spellkeeper. Merde, he didn’t know. Didn’t care right then.

The hunter limped over to the carcass and started to pick it up to carry it inside. “I got it, it’s fine,” he said, voice tight with the strain of holding the monster. There was also some pain mixed in there, but he was choosing to ignore that. “Lead the way. We can patch this up inside.” This wasn’t the worst injury he’d walked through by a long shot. It hurt, sure, but it wasn’t like he had to clear a whole acre to get to civilization this time. He’d be fine.

“Of course I’ll keep it to myself.” Regan’s brow tensed at the strange request. Did he think she was going to share the remains with others? She only offered to share with him because he was present and the one who struck the bird down. No – this vulture was too interesting to share with others. It was still unclear what species it was, and there were aspects to its anatomy that struck Regan as unlike any bird she’d ever seen decompose before.

As the two of them shuffled past the broken glass and into the morgue, Regan couldn’t help but notice that Kaden’s hair complemented the bird’s remains – when the sun and wind caught it just right, his hair almost resembled a dead rabbit, fur twirling in the wind. He probably wouldn’t give that to her in addition to the vulture.

Marcy’s concerned shout brought her back into focus. “We’re fine. Th– good job keeping almost everyone inside.” Regan waved to Marcy, who was now only staring at the huge vulture carcass draped over practically the entire top half of Kaden’s body. “Well, except for Janus. Did he– never mind. Later.” The janitor was okay, and that was what mattered. “You can set the remains here.” She motioned to one of the tables in the lobby, “Slowly, carefully. You’re limping, you know.” Everything would be cleaned up anyway, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to bring the bird back to the cabin to return it to nature or learn more about it here at the morgue first. “Are you okay to follow me? It won’t be far.” She walked Kaden over to the door and carded herself in. Everything she needed was in her office. As much as she didn’t enjoy the thought of having others in there, she enjoyed the thought of using the autopsy suite for this even less. So down the hall, Regan washed her hands and then carded herself in again, holding the door open for Kaden to urge him in.

Her beetles didn’t know her from anyone else, but it always seemed like they clicked a hello from their enclosure in the corner. They were probably hungry. Perhaps she’d give them some of the vulture to clean off. “My office,” she explained, probably unnecessarily, as she pulled a well-worn first aid kit from one of her desk drawers. “Remove your pants.”

Putain de merde, Kaden couldn’t believe he was walking a fucking ker corpse into the morgue past a gaggle full of people. And he couldn’t even speed up, not with his leg the way it was. He was ready to keep limping along towards wherever it was that the dead bodies were kept and nearly kept walking when she motioned to drop the carcass in the lobby. “Here? You want to leave it out here?” He expected that they’d take it to somewhere more private than the goddamn table in the middle of the morgue where anyone walking by could just see it. “And I’m fine, I got it. Just– here? Really?” It didn’t seem like she was going to pause to give him any answer other than ‘yes,’ so he sighed and lowered the damn ker onto the table in the fucking lobby. He couldn’t tell if the grimace on his face was from the pain or just his distaste at the idea of leaving a monster in a spot that felt way too public. “You better find a better spot for it soon,” he said as he limped after her, gritting his teeth every time he had to flex the calf muscles on his injured leg.

Stepping into her office, Kaden assumed he would simply sit on one of the chairs or something and start rolling up his pants.

Guess not.

“Remove my what?” he repeated, eyes going wide. Was this going somewhere he hadn’t anticipated? Were there signs that he missed? Kaden was pretty sure he hadn’t misjudged things, but then again, there she was, asking him to undress. He thought she was supposed to be helping clean up his wou– Oh. Right. On his leg. Which was under his pants. Which were probably in the way of her doing whatever it was she needed to do. “You sure I can’t just lift them up? I mean you can probably get to the wound through that nice hole the talons made in them.” Kaden sighed and had a feeling that wasn’t going to be the case. Either way, he had plenty of other gear to take off first before he could even consider removing his damn pants. He laid the weapons on the floor, as well as the snare pole. Then came the knives and pistol strapped to his belt and upper leg. It was going to take a bit.

“Your pants, officer.” Regan raised a cool eyebrow. “You’ll recall that you were injured on your leg. If you can roll them up and provide me access to the entire wound, be my guest. Aren’t you glad I brought you down here for this, now?” She watched as knife after knife and gun after net and pole after gloves were set on the floor. How much did he carry with him? Well, you could never be prepared enough. And she figured he encountered the unexpected fairly frequently. As Kaden busied himself with that, Regan snapped open her kit and started getting everything ready. Gloves. Needle. Thread. Disinfectant. She hadn’t had a live one in a while. This was almost exciting.

“Ready when you are.” She frowned down at the injury – it was messy, leaving trails of blood dripping down his shin. It obscured the edges of the wound, and would need to be cleaned off before anything. “Hm. But first, I trust that you can wash the injury. The sink is right there.” She nudged toward the bathroom that was just past her beetles and a couple of cleaned animal skulls – an otter and a rabbit.

Kaden tried not to roll his eyes but he couldn’t help it. Even though he knew it probably wasn’t going to work out, he bent down and tried to roll the hem up on his pants. The fabric was soaked in blood and stuck to his shin and rolling it only made it worse. His skin felt every bit of friction from the fiber scraping against him. He tried to keep going out of sheer stubborn determination, wincing the whole time, eyes almost fully shut, but he only got about three quarters of the way there before he had to admit defeat. All he could do was grumble curse words to himself while he undid his damn pants and kicked off his shoes.

He was about to settle in the seat next to her and get as comfortable as he could manage in such a vulnerable situation when she asked him to go clean the wound. “Could have said that before I got undressed, you know,” he muttered as he headed to the bathroom. Cleaning out in the fucking sink was a challenge. It was tough to maneuver his leg up to the faucet and even harder to stand the stinging once the water was turned on. More curse words were his only comfort at the moment. When he’d done all he could stand, he pulled his leg out of the sink and hobbled back towards the medical examiner. He couldn’t say he did a good job but there was less blood there at least. If she wanted better, she should have done it herself. “Happy now?”

“I could have. But then you would have tried to clean it while dressed, which defeats the point.” Regan wasn’t used to having patients be adversarial with her. At least not for the last few months. Some of the others in Saol Eile were quick to argue with her, but the dead never did. She could handle it. As she assessed Kaden’s leg, now able to see the wound much more clearly, she nodded. “No, never. But this is decent enough, and you can sit down now. And while you’re at it, I’ll remind you that I’m trying to save you a trip to the hospital, and you would have mentioned far more poutine if I had tried to convince you to let me clean it off.”

With Kaden’s leg stretched in front of her, she resolved to make this quick. Unfortunately, it was quite the grisly wound. It bordered on something he should go to the hospital for, but she felt confident she could take this one here. She steadied her careful hand and got to work. “Some people prefer having something else to focus on while they’re getting sutures. Feel free to look at the shelf behind me. Just don’t wiggle.” On it were some of her favorite bones – including a few European species she’d managed to salvage from her Saol Eile collection before being whisked away. Nearly done. “If there are any signs of infection later on, I do want you to see a doctor. One at the hospital. Do you understand?”

Kaden grumbled as he took a seat, stretching his leg out for her to stitch up. This shit always hurt, but he was pretty used to the song and dance. Granted, the song and dance usually had less steps when he patched himself up but it wasn’t like he could argue with her when she mentioned that this would help him avoid the hospital. Hospitals were definitely worse than a medical examiner treating the wound in her office. “It’s putain, not poutine,” he said through his tensed throat. He didn’t want to let out any loud sounds of pain or discomfort if he could avoid it and he was well practiced on how to keep the screams that threatened to escape from passing through his vocal chords. His mother had always found it annoying when her children cried as she was trying to dress their wounds.

He leaned back in the chair after letting out a long exhale that had wanted to be a cry of pain. She had a good point about distracting himself. Normally looking up he’d at least get the sky, maybe some tree branches. This was just ceiling tiles. Not exactly riveting. His eyes scanned the room and landed on the various bones and skeletons across the way. “That’s a lot of bones you got th–” A wince cut off his words. Deep breaths. Kaden squinted, trying to determine what he could about the creatures that used to have flesh covering those bones. “Rabbit, over there, pretty sure. Is that a …shrew? Maybe. And a– ahhh!” Damnit, he was caught off guard. He swallowed back the rest of his pain. When he thought it was safe again, he continued. “And that’s a coyote?” He leaned a little closer, narrowing his eyes. “No, fox. Are you done yet?” Kaden looked down and it seemed like she was done or something close to it and he let out a deep sigh of relief. “Got it, doc. This isn’t my first time getting sutures. I know how it works.” They were rarely this even and practiced, though, he had to admit.

“Putain, then.” Regan said, stretching out the ai sound. “Are you going to explain what it means?” Though some nagging part of her thought it might be best if he didn’t. It had the taste of an expletive. Rabbit. Shrew? Fox. For a moment, she felt exposed, someone seeing more than they were truly invited to. Looking at skulls did not mean identifying them, asking about them; most people didn’t have a good enough grasp on animal anatomy to do that. But of course, animal control. It became easier by the time he got to the fox, like something to be cautiously shared instead of kept from him. She didn’t experience that very often. Regan stayed silent during his guessing and then finally replied. “It’s a fox, yes. A gray fox that I found out in the woods my first week here.” She could anticipate his question. “Already dead, mind you. No signs of trauma. I suspect disease or rat poison.” She hesitated, trying to put aside the feeling that something inside of her had been split open and exposed. So he could identify a few skulls she had. He knew nothing. This wasn’t some superhuman feat and it didn’t mean he even liked them. “You did well.” She finally said, unclear whether she meant with the skulls or with the sutures.

Considering his legs were riddled with shiny scars and shallow pits, she doubted that was a lie; he probably had had sutures before, and many times. “Yes, I’m done now. You were able to stay quite still.” She snipped off the suture and deposited everything on top of her desk for later cleaning. Regan rose from the seat and motioned to Kaden that he could put his pants back on if he wished. He probably had to if he was going to leave. “Anything else you want me to look at before you go?”

Ah. Right. Of course she wanted to know what it meant. Kaden could feel his cheeks grow warmer and he reached back to rub the nape of his neck. “Uh, well, it’s sort of the equivalent of saying ‘fuck’ in English but, uh, the direct translation is whore. Not used like that, though. Language oddities, all that.” Sure he could swear like a sailor but having to explain it always felt like being called out in class by a teacher somehow.

Before he could ask, she answered his question and the tension he was holding in his chest dropped. Already dead. Good. He didn’t want to have to deal with the alternative scenario. “Rat poison?” His mouth pulled into a thin line. There was no reason a fox had to die like that at the hands of humans. “Do you happen to remember where you found it? It might be worth investigating. I don’t love the idea of more animals dying due to some idiots.” It was a long shot if she’d found it in the woods when she first got there that they could even find the spot again, let alone that it would lead to anything, but he had to try.

With a nod, the hunter stood and picked up his pants and started putting himself back together. He shook his head at her question. “Nah, I think, if there’s anything else you want to look at before I go, that’s up to you,” he teased, adding a wink. If he had to stand there and be vulnerable and exposed in her office, he had to at least turn the tables one time.

“Ah. Imperfect translation. I understand.” Though Regan still didn’t approve. But there were many words and phrases she kept finding herself stuck on – things she’d picked up in Saol Eile that just didn’t translate into English at all. It was also a shock learning that the Gaelic she’d been forced into learning was a little different than the Gaelic spoken elsewhere. “I’m still trying to translate some of what was said back – before I lived here.” She didn’t even want to mention Ireland and invite that line of questioning.

There was something sweet about how genuine Kaden’s concern was over the dead fox. Nothing to be done about it now, no way to help it, but he seemed to be looking for justice. There was very little of that to be had. “I remember exactly where I found all of them, every single one in my collection. If you’d like me to show you, I will. I don’t know that you’ll find anything there – except, perhaps, some other dead foxes.” Actually, that prospect excited her a little bit. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a terrible idea. “Once your leg heals. It’s a ways into the woods, a couple hours north of Gatlin, and you’ll need to rest up before attempting that hike.” She frowned, knowing he probably intended to show up to work tomorrow like usual anyway. All of these rugged-type men were exactly the same. Stupid enough to worsen their injuries because they’re impatient and have something to prove.

As Kaden rose clumsily to his feet and collected his array of weapons and tools, Regan watched, considering the question. The wink – and insinuation – made her freeze, the first aid kit dropping out of her fingers and onto her desk with a too-loud slap. She cleared her throat. “I am a physician and this was strictly, um, medical. In nature.” Her eyes darted to the shelves of skulls, as if one of them could save her from needing to provide a response. They were silent. Convenient. She fiddled with the kit, righting it, and looking anywhere but at the newly-pantsed officer. “Nothing, um – nothing more today. That will be all. Th– you’re welcome. Remember, take it easy. Don’t overdo it with your leg. Stay, um–” She ducked below her desk, wedging the kit away in the drawer, but also using it as an excuse to hide out of sight. “--hydrated. And eat well. Brush your teeth three times a day. Also, see a doctor if the wound starts to smell strange or–” The shoes were gone. She took a breath and poked her head up from underneath her desk.

Alone again. And she had a vulture to necropsy.

#writing #c kaden

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chronic-optimistt · 2 years

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Tired of not seeing content around the foxes being actual college students with lives outside of exy so I made my own

In his calc class, Neil is content to sit in the back row by himself to do his work. One day this rando sits next to him. She’s got those sick yellow platform doc martins that match the tiny pineapples on her button up. She’s got bright red lips and bubble braid pigtails. She infinitely sticks out. Neil is flabbergasted. He’s thinking ‘why is this highlighter in my personal bubble’. He stares for a moment. She says, “you’re smart, right?” He just stares some more. “Excuse me?” He whispers. His face is totally laugh-worthy. She does not laugh. She does not even smile. She merely raises her thick eyebrows a fraction. “The professor has been giving you extra work. I’m assuming that means you’re smart.” He’s had convos like this before. People want him to do their math homework for them. Nicky tried it once. He got a flick to the arm. But Neil doesn’t really want to flick her. That’s bad for his image apparently. So he’s like “I guess” and she’s like “cool.” And then says nothing more to him for the rest of the hour. Next class, she sits beside him again. He’s not as irritated as he thought he would be, but he still wants her gone. This is weird for him. Later, on one particular equation, she asks him for a little bit of help. He’s now as irritated as he thought he would be. He wants her gone. But, because she seems nice enough, he explains it to her (very poorly, might I add, but she somehow understands him anyways). She doesn’t speak to him for the rest of class. He gives her some brownie points for that. Next class, she doesn’t ask him for help. She does however, notice that he doesn’t have a pencil, and places one in front of him without comment. This goes on for a few more classes—she asks a question quietly here and there, he musters up an answer, they move on. Sometimes when she hears his stomach grumbling she sticks a granola bar on his desk. Small things. Things he can’t make himself get upset over. What Neil likes most about her, is that she’s quiet. Not the ‘I’m too scared to even look people in the eye’ quiet, but the ‘I frankly just don’t think my opinion would benefit the situation like at all’ quiet. The tolerable kind (The Andrew kind). One class he finally gets bored and asks for her name. She scans him, his grey oversized no-name shirt and baggy jeans, his scuffed thrifted runners and mop of curly red hair. He scans her, her long blue blazer-made-dress with a thick belt, her very red lips and very dark hair, her platform sneakers (she seems to own a lot of platform shoes. This makes Neil mad. She’s probably six foot without them. Why does she need to make herself even taller. Life isn’t fair). “Navi,” She says. He nods, “Neil.” And then they fall back into comfortable silence. When exams start, she seems to be asking him for more help than usual. Because Neil Josten can be a nice person, and because he is kind of hoping maybe he could have a friend outside the foxes, he abruptly asks, “Hey, Navi, I go to the library to study after my last class. If you want, you can join me. I won’t be there for math, but I won’t mind you asking me questions here and there. That way you get some more time to practice.” And then he holds his breath for some reason. She says, “What time?” And then they study together for the next few weeks and sit across from each other and throw bits of eraser into one another’s hair and laugh behind their hands when the librarian freaks out over a bird that got through the doors and help each other with work and lend each other pencils. One night when Andrew picks Neil up after a study session, he looks to the doors and then back to Neil and asks, “Who’s that.” And Neil glances back to see Navi giving them a small wave as she walks towards the bus stop. He doesn’t know why he waves back. “That’s Navi,” He says, as if that means anything to Andrew. Andrew pulls out of the parking lot. After a minute of silence, he quietly adds, “My friend.” Neil doesn’t look away from the window to see Andrew’s face, but he feels it when the man reaches over and gives his hand a squeeze. That’s all he needs.

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caphayzardous · 1 year

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things r fine just debriefing a short convo into a huge poste

caved and asked one of my damage-informed (and also reasonable-inquiry) questions through text. you can't imagine how much I don't like to take serious topics into text format, hate Getting Weird Over Text, but a) this qn always feels so unimportant in-person, yet haunts me semi-regularly when I'm alone. had told myself several times I'd just get it out of the way IRL only to be like 'psh, nah'. and b) due to recent propensity for crying - and also non-recent perpetuity of crying at ANY serious moment - I felt that just this once text was safer than IRL for keeping things sensible.

it went fine (I say that now, we'll see if my lover is actually waiting to follow it up with an honourable in-person "Call It Off Because You Were Weird", but I don't THINK that's it). I somehow got an answer very very close to the Fear Outcome but in a way that I feel okay about?

Basically confirmed what I already know. this is all re: some near-arbitrary semantics of the relationship, basically that we are dating (sike did you all think I officially worked that out before valentines, like I said I would? I did not. but I did become more confident in that truth, before this recent upset. it is a relief to have this confirmed actually tho) BUT we are not 'partners'/in a serious relationship.

if that sounds weird to you. well yeah. this is what I mean by arbitrary semantics and nebulous areas. "we are lovers and we are friends and we've been going on dates for 6 months but it's not...?" anyway, however bizarre that sounds, it feels good to me and is about what I expected and wanted.

even though: its close to what I feared, too, separated only by the nature and details of the conversation. honestly I think it just makes a difference to me to hear "lover" "friend" "date" rather than cut-and-dry "friends with benefits" though try explaining the actual difference there?? it Feels different. to me at least lmfao, there may be less distinction to her, but by god she has the tact not to say so. I think it just affirms that my soft little feelings, are okay as they are. are not entirely misplaced, even though they wont go any further. I did not have illusions about her feelings but mine are still being looked after, yeah.

think also this whole thing just feels different to... you know... the past situation that recently re-haunts me (do you know that came to a crux about this time of year as well...? and with the impending end of things, I became so scared that it would all twist up the same way). probably the fact that things are being communicated at all makes a world of difference dont you think adchsbsj!!! like it may be late in the game to re-affirm these details, but it's happening at a decent and safer moment. in that past exp, the relationship exploded in a bad way and SIMULTANEOUSLY I found out that we were not even dating... according to them. so you can see why I might be hung up what counts as dating or not.

Im not asking for love, I just wanted to know Im not being made a complete fool of (again).

talking about this always feels like Im going to get y'all saying 'oh, bri...' because I Know how it reads still (yes I am a fool all round).

I will keep an eye on myself. In that same past exp I made the mistake of convincing myself I was ok with certain things like this, only to subsequently have really volatile and opposite feelings about it. sometimes I can tamp down distress with the cool detachment of logic but ofc that bitch comes back UP, you know? so I will keep an eye on myself here to see if I'm ACTUALLY still good with this situation as it stands, or if I'm just Trying to be good with it.

a lot of blog post to say: things are alright. my chest has been aching the last few days since it got into my head that there are parallels with the past. but it finally stopped hurting, and my heartrate finally settled, after speaking with them about it - I feel soft and safe again. so I think it's safe to say it's a good outcome. I feel I can separate it from the past again.

hope we can still stick the landing and get the 'good ending' when she leaves aus and we stay friends after hehe. I believe!! I believe!! I dont want this damage to take that ending from me!

might delete this'n its a mess but wanted to get it out thx if u read lmfao

#caphaytext

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years

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#26

I took 150 last night and somehow passed out on it so I'm finna take 350 now that I'm awake so that I can get slightly high while being mostly sober by the time my bsf calls me today.

AFTERMATH

I took wayyyy more than 350. I think I took 1.1k overall. Took 200 and let it wear off completely instead of taking the extra 150 after a bit like I planned. Then I started crying.. then I chilled for a bit.. then cried some more. It got badddd I was snotting it up and my arm was genuinely wet wet from all rapidly flowing eye water smh

When I got otp with my best friend I was soberish. I was still crying at that point but I made sure I wasn't sobbing in her ear or anything. She had me spill the beans and by the end of it i was cackling off her mocking my sniffles. She's such a dick i stg 😭

Anyway after she calmed me dowm, she dipped to do some busy work with her mom. I ended up popping another 850 in the meantime. She said she'd be back in 30 mins and I think it was uh.. I think an hour and a half atp so I figured she forgot and I was off the hook for the day. But nah. She texted then called me and I had.. absolutely zero chance of hiding how gone I was.

Mostly I can still hide the junk even when I'm sky high cause with pretty much anyone else im not doing a lot of the talking and my slight chuckles and agreement noises is usually enough. R, however, is fucking hilarious and I'm always laughing at stupid shit she'll say. Which is kinda a problem asss i have a hard time laughing while im that high. My mouth and throat be so dry and to a point where talking in itself is a big task so laughing is pretty much out the question. Plus, kinda weird but i have a hard time finding anything funny in general. Soo when I was sitting there super quiet and not reacting much to stuff she'd say, I ended up fessing up so she wouldn't overthink my silence. Knowing her she probably would've blamed it on herself somehow so it wasn't even worth hiding imo.

It was kinda sad tbh. I'm glad we did get to talk some yesterday but we did way less talking than we'd usually do cause of all of that junk. I went to sleep promptly after we got off the phone as I felt weird. And kinda sad ngl.

When I first woke up I could still feel the remnants of yesterday's dose and I was exhausted but couldn't sleep anymore as I had already slept for I think... 10 hours? Maybe 9 I dunno

Aside from that symptom wise I'm mostly normal. Still feel a little floaty and I'm not 100% for full ass convos rn. I wanna sleep some more but I have a kitchen to clean + I was picking at my skin again so I need to do some aftercare on my skin to minimize scarring as much as I can. I mostly pick at my legs and for that I don't really bother with caring for scars. While I don't really cut myself anymore and I wasn't too too into it before either, my thighs are still covered in scars from them. That plus a few scars that have only recently fully went away made me care a lot less for how my legs look. But nowadays I be forgetting to keep my picking to my legs and started picking at my face again. That I try to hide cause my dad constantly comments on shit like that and I just don't want him to acknowledge it

Lowkey dealing with heartburn and sharp pain in my stomach. Prolly cause I took that much at once and didn't really eat before. I had hella cereal earlier in the day and that was about it

I really gotta start remembering to eat.. I'm fat and all (well. Chubby. Mfs get so confused when I call myself fat 💀) but at the same point I think it'd be kinda sus if I randomly lose weight weight like that. Especially with how shady I've been acting lmao

NOTES/EMOTIONS

Mm. I don't know how to explain my mindset rn. I feel completely useless and I want to just wither away and get forgotten by everyone all at once. I'm sure that's due to the mix of bs I have floating around in my head. I'm tryna keep it together tho. I haven't been drinking enough water as is and I'm sure me crying again is gonna make that worseeee so I'll just try and distract myself for now

I'm so fucking tired of crying. Why can't I just be happy

#dph #benadryl #diphenhydramine #dph addiction #trip reports #vent

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blonkk · 2 years

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women confuse me so much because they’ll agree with you about all the reasons being straight and trying to find someone who’s not a piece of shit is a never ending quest/it’s a lot of energy in the streets to expend when people will lie, cheat, ghost etc/all the relationships i’ve witnessed leave a lot to be desired and i constantly see my female friends losing sleep and being treated like garbage and so on and so forth but then they’re soooo confused when you say you don’t date. like literally just had this convo with yet another friend, we were talking ab how we’ve had experiences of being taken advantage of by guys including friends we’d known for years, exchanging our own stories & those of girls we know. a girl she knew woke up to her guy friend jerking off on her and a girl i know woke up to a childhood friend putting his dick in her mouth and forcing her to blow him. anyways after ALL THIS plus previous convos she’s like..so you seeing anyone? and i was like no lol. and she was like are you trying…? i said no. and she was like …. really lost LOL. she asked me if i’m asexual and i just laughed, like haven’t heard that before! i’ve also been asked if i’m a lesbian.

like i don’t get it. i’ve had convos like this with all girls in my life. all my straight girl friends date and have relationships and casual sex etc and i NEVER question it even if it makes no sense, because they’re regularly getting abused/treated like shit yet they continue to do that shit. why does me trying to save myself a little bit of sanity and protect myself from this confuse y’all so much then??? you agree with my reasoning, you deeply identify with my experiences, and i’m generally pretty fucking lucky because i’ve never experienced a lot of the worse things and most girls i know have. more than once. but still they’re like “aw you’ll find someone” “well you can’t just give up!” “why not?? omg how can you be alone??” “are you…ya know..”

like i’ll always support my friends and i don’t disparage them for opting to be with men even though they’re rarely fucking fulfilled but don’t ask me if i’m touched in the head lol for trying to be happy and minimize pain in my life 😂 or gay. bro i don’t gotta be gay to resist male abuse what a weird thing to think

fr so many people are so scared to be alone. they look at older (25+) (😂😂😂) women and feel pity and fear that they can’t explain or understand. they really think we’re all completely miserable and would give everything up for a crumb of male love and acceptance. i’m not saying it’s not hard, like i’m an adult woman, of course it’s hard sometimes but imo it looks harder trying to constantly be loveable to a man. like these men don’t respect you, they knowingly hurt your feelings, if they do it unknowingly they rarely care or try to change, they rarely leave you sexually gratified and they don’t often care about anything other than busting their own nut, they don’t even pretend to be gentlemen anymore! they don’t even put up the pretence of asking for dates, buying flowers, picking you up, being nice….they literally say “we fucking or what” and if you don’t respond with that same energy they think you’re crazy/frigid/high maintenance. like girls are literally going crazy waiting for replies from dudes who saw the text, read it, didn’t care about responding, forgot about it, fucked another girl and then gets horny at 3am and says “wyd”. and y’all feel bad for ME?! please like i’m not trying to be mean but like honestly get up. if you’re gonna live like that i won’t judge you. i know why, i get it. but don’t come for me and pity me because i don’t do that shit because you will hear some truths you won’t like

#i’m rly tired #like men say this to me a lot and i just let it go because of they generally don’t see the problems with the way they treat women #they think any woman would be lucky to be mistreated by them #and because i choose not to be it’s actually because no one wants to fuck my bitchy/fat/ugly etc ass anyways #but the women who say this make my head spin #girl you know why.#why are you mad #genuinely my sister got MAD at me a few weeks ago to the point she was yelling at me in tears #because i calmly tried to explain that i’m not setting the goal of meeting someone getting married and having kids #she was so angry it was fucked up #she just said i’m scared/selfish/insecure #…um #why are you yelling.#i didn’t yell at you when you decided to get married to your piece of dogshit bf at age 24 #although i probably should have #it’s not just her. it’s all my female friends #acquaintances #they think i’m so sad and broken #it makes me so mad!!! leave me alone fr #why does it bother you? be with all the men you please #do what you want and i’ll do what i want!!#anyways #just girly things

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heavenlymemoir · 1 year

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Jodie Memories

I remembered the coma. How Stan got a job to help himself and the group; mainly because of Tuesday and Zoey, he wanted to help them. He didn’t want Zoey growing up under the bridge.

He visited me frequently. Every day. Told me about life. How Jimmy came clean and how Walter got over his alcoholism and went back to being a highschool teacher. He told me about his late wife Nancy, and all the stories they had. He shared memories of her, good and bad.

He…he cried. Almost every time he came in. I don’t know if it was the survivor's guilt or because he missed me. But he cried and held my hands, pleading for me to come back. He even brought Tuesday and Zoey in; Tuesday couldn’t stand to see me like this. She told me how Zoey was. That she had just started crawling and even said her first word the other day. She said that her first word was “mama”.

I don’t think I dreamt often. Near the end, right before I woke up, I saw some memories. Of mom. When she gave birth to me and they took me. I saw…well, what I think was Aiden. He didn’t have a body but I knew it was him by the tether.

Was it him showing me these memories? There’s no way that I could’ve remembered mom. I was just born. If he was, why? Why was he showing me them? I don’t know.

When Phillip and Susan left me in the facility, I wanted to get Phillip back for that day in the snow. But, I knew it wouldn’t do any good. I still hated him, but I forgave him.

Hell, he was only scared. Scared of Aiden. And me. Scared people only do what their body tells them to do in order to survive. He was a religious dude, but I don’t think Susan was.

The reason why Aiden never harmed Susan is because she was nice to me. She never raised her voice or hurt me, she never laughed at me, and she helped me whenever I needed it.

Later in life, I reached out to them. She didn’t believe it was me at first but after some consoling, she started crying. Saying how scared she was for me and how she missed me so damn much. I was essentially her bio daughter, with the bond we made. I told her everything. Aiden. The CIA. The Infraworld. And she believed me. For once, someone didn’t doubt me and for once, someone genuinely was concerned about Aiden.

I dated both Jay and Cory.

When I blew up the Black Sun, I chose to stay on the ranch with Paul and his family.

While I was working outside one day, Cory asked if we could talk. Cory had always been friendly with me, and was very trusting and open. I agreed and told him we could talk while I tended the horses. He followed and basically admitted on the spot he liked me. I…I didn’t know how to speak. Didn’t know what to say. Apparently, Jay overheard that convo, and later that night, had a very heated discussion with Cory about ”oh you can’t like an outsider! what about our bloodline?! our ancestors would be pissed!”. I overheard that conversation. I mean, it was hard not to.

I sat them both down the next night (Paul had to go out of the ranch to go get some medicine for his back). I told them that I basically liked them both and didn’t want to hurt one by choosing the other, so why not date both of them? Cory was all for it but once again, Jay was a party-pooper. Man was so pressed about it, but calmed down after Cory glared at him.

It was hard to get used to Aiden not being with me often, but as the game went on to show, he still stuck around me without the tether. Jay and Cory were huge comforts during my time of not knowing where the hell Aiden was. And when he finally did the mirror shit, I broke down crying. Both of them rushed into my room and saw the mirror, and asked what was happening.

I explained everything to those two. Aiden. My twin. My parents both being gifted in paranormal areas. How the CIA recruited me to their special department. The shit I went through. Everything. And they didn’t call me crazy, they didn’t look at me weird, they understood. They fucking understood me. I was so glad they genuinely understood me and didn’t think I was crazy.

Cory was holding me while Jay was saying he was happy that Aiden is still here and I’ll be okay. Jay pieced it together that Aiden was the reason why that horse listened to me and joked around about me being the “animal whisperer” which made me start laughing.

Ryan got wind of where I was. He showed up to the ranch one day, and Paul answered the door. Ryan had asked, “Is a miss Jodie Holmes staying here perchance? I need to talk to her.” Paul called Jay over and they talked in Navajo for a few, then eventually Jay went to go get me and told me there’s a strange white man with brown hair looking for me.

I dropped my glass of water and luckily it didn’t break, and I quickly cleaned it up before I went to go see what the hell Ryan wanted. When I went out, Ryan’s face lit up. He exclaimed, “Jodie!! My god I thought you were dead. I couldn’t find anything on you; no records, no traces, nothing. I managed to find you because a damn trucker saw someone that matched your description riding a motorcycle, and I asked around the area more. I’m so glad you’re well.”

It took every damn ounce of my will and self-respect to not beat the shit out of the motherfucker. I looked at him and said, “what the fuck do you want. Make it quick, I have ranch animals I need to take care of.” He said that he wanted to apologize for what he did to me, and what the CIA put me through and that he’s no longer working with them. I scoffed, and went to go back to my room, ignoring his pleas.

I only stopped because he cried out my name. “Jodie please. Listen to me. May you move back with me? Stan and everyone is worried about you.” And that set me the fuck off. I yelled, “Don’t you fucking talk as if you know Stan and Tuesday like they’re your god damn fucking friends! Don’t you even fucking try to apologize to me, you worthless piece of good for nothing shitbag! Do you think that I’d just simply nod and let you apologize for walking on me and making me a god damn murder machine for this pathetic excuse of a government? And let’s not fucking forget the time that when we were in the plane, and I saw the news and you tried to blow me the fuck off. And also, what about the time we had a date at my apartment? Aiden did nothing to you and you still fucking acted like a god damn sleaze, only wanting me because I was a higher fucking rank than you! Get the fuck out. You’re not welcome here. Ever.”

I walked up to him, shoved him outside, and slammed the door in his face. Locked it. I sighed and leaned on the door while just trying to calm down; I couldn’t hear anything above the raging sound of my heartbeat in my ears. After a while, he left and I just slumped to the floor, purely exhausted. Jay and Paul helped me back to my room, and I talked with Jay for a bit. I calmed down and we went outside to tend to the ranch animals. Cory asked what the hell happened and I briefly explained while we were taking hay bales to each animal. I made sure to mention that Ryan is never welcome here again, and they all have permission to drive him off if he shows up again.

I was, I mean still am, agender and asexual. Due to what happens in the bar (Like Other Girls chapter; I won’t delve into what actually happens here), it made me nauseous to think of sex and me partaking in it. Jay and Cory understood and we did have occasional sex once in a while, but it wasn’t a “requirement” for the relationship to be healthy. They were both perfectly fine just having me there and helping around the ranch. They still used she/her with me and I never bothered to correct them because I was fine as long as it was them and them only using those pronouns with me.

#jodie holmes ; fictive memories

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high-fructose-dreamscape · 2 years

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Day 2

[cont’d cont’d]

So it’s now 6:25. I’m no longer over loaded with negative thoughts but I’m filling my time doing stuff that honestly is useless. I’m sure I’m gonna hear from Josh tomorrow.

I wanna go go-karting. I wanna drive and not worry about it. I’m hoping I can have a day where I can day drink or just drink all day. It would be great to be someone else’s problem for a change.

This will probably drag on as I don’t intend to make more than 3 notes for a day. But damn it’s slow.

I started day dreaming again. I thought it would be fun to go paintballing with the guys. When I tried to attach faces to the idea I just gave up. It’s so hard to try to get a date, let alone a group of guys together. I’ll just put it on the list of dreams to be.

I’m not sad. I just don’t know what to do honestly. I hate that as sad as something is, I’m trying to solve my problem not bitch. Idk I’m just numb from everything.

I think I’m over whatever episode I was feeling earlier as I don’t feel as down. I still plan to stick to my plan but I’m not crying.

Maybe it’s because someone’s in the room with me or maybe I’m just eh.

I forgot to flip my coin. I’ll do that soon. Though I’ll probably just message kinga and later remind her to go to the gym.

It’s 7:50.

I messaged kinga. She didn’t eat. Upsetting but she said she would soon. I hope she does. I do worry about her.

In a slightly different mood I’m trying to forget my breakdown. In a way, it feels so long ago. like days and days. It’s so weird. I think it’s me trying to dump something that made me feel weak.

I genuinely find it fascinating how forgetful I am. It’s not that I want to be, but I think it’s between the depression and my defenses literally dumping off parts of my memory. I think it’s my ptsd response and I don’t know if I should be alarmed or not.

It reminds me of a conversation. I had with juniper once. She kept saying I was manipulating her when I was trying to explain that I don’t wanna talk about something in public but if she doesn’t remind me I will forget. She argued to the death that it was a trap. To this day I genuinely can’t remember what it was about.

I wonder if this is why Jess or kinga never remember when they make me sad? Do they forget as a curse from their trauma response or are they trying to deny it happened as away to move past it? Honestly if it were the latter, I would be fine with anyone just saying “I’m sorry and I don’t wanna talk about it.”

I do try to respect boundaries unless it’s a really big deal to me. I just hate how someone can say something mean then shut the door on the convo. It’s so..: frustrating.

So it’s 10:49. I closed pretty early ngl. I wish I had something to do tonight but it looks like I’ll just go play league.

Props to me I stopped myself form pushing my free day on kinga. She’ll never take me up on a chance to hang so I didn’t bother letting her know my days off. I think it’s better this way as, even as a friend, she’s still notorious for blowing me off.

I have a long drive home. So I decided to put on school food. My eye looks less bruised but still bloodshot. If it weren’t so itchy I’d probably keep the patch.

It’s about 11:30 now. I made it home. More day dreams fluttered my mind. Not scenes but images. Like paintings. One was a couple, assume me and someone I’m dating, we’re having a picnic under cherry blossoms. I’ve never seen one in person. I know it’s not special but it kinda is. I’ve always wanted one in yard. That’s a sign of success to me.

Another day dream was to be applauded by so many people. Like that stupid ass ending of evangelion, I guess it was a celebration or something but just everyone was so happy to see me. Maybe a performance? For a second I felt like it was something obtainable and then I kinda just snapped out of it. I realize I have nothing to be proud of. So then, why would anyone be proud of me?

As I wait on the driveway I search for a reason. But really I just need rest. I haven’t teared up but honestly I just have no more motivation to go on lately.

The only use out of chronicling these posts is from a promise I made myself years ago: if I ever decide to take my own life, I promise that I will get as much of my head out of my head before I go. Don’t look back. Don’t read it. Just go.

So now I type like nobody reads. I type expecting nothing. I know that if I wanted attention I’d make a loaded Facebook post or something. But type like nobody cares.

It’s rough. Times like this I just want a hug.

Maybe I’ll write a story. Something probably aggressive and kinky if I get some food in me.

I swear even working at Pizza Hut I don’t eat. I hate the food honestly. I wish I had friends like I am to others who’d message me and randomly ask me for a bite or to do something. It’s so rare that I honestly freak out.

Hmm. I guess it’s just not meant for ym reality. I suppose that this is the reality where I dream big and work for nothing. Maybe one lifetime I’ll do better. I hope that will make up for it.

Oh no. The tears. Guess I’m calling it a night.

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retroaria · 3 years

Note

hi !! can i request jealousy headcanons for gnf x reader? or an imagine? whatever you prefer :)) thank you so much!

JEALOUSY HEADCANONS

cc’s: george, sapnap, dream, wilbur, karl, quackity, nihachu

pronouns: gender neutral

warnings: none :3

here’s my masterlist ^o^

hope ya like it !!

george:

he doesn’t really get jealous more so insecure

would kinda just let whatever was going on with you and the other person play out and then maybe mention it later

this could go two ways:

either you don’t acknowledge him being upset and he starts acting super pouty to make it obvious-

or he literally just shows no emotion to the matter and decides to keep it to himself

he trusts you so much but he definitely thinks about how maybe you could be with someone better

PLEASE reassure him that you love him and he’s the greatest boyfriend ever :((

he isn’t one to care for much attention but when he doubts himself like that you better give it to him >:T

karl:

he gets sad :(

he immediately thinks the worst

which is that you see something special in this other person that you don’t see in him

his whole mood changes

such an over thinker when it comes to this stuff

he definitely wears his heart on his sleeve tho so you know when somethings up

after lots of reassurance he’s ok but he always kinda feels like you’ll find someone better

he thinks he’s a little hard to handle sometimes and since he’s always busy he’s afraid that you would maybe want someone who’s easier to spend time with

there are some VERY special instances where he’ll just walk up and announce that he’s your boyfriend

usually it’s done without thinking and the once he realizes the person was trying to flirt with you he’s like “oh- OH HAHA LOSER” lol

overall, he doesn’t want to intrude on any of your friendships and conversations but he can’t help but get a little scared of losing you

quackity:

he’s the type to get really awkward about someone else hitting on you

seeing someone else flirting with you would make him feel so uncomfortable and it would just be really weird for him

he wouldn’t want to intrude but he can’t help but overthink the whole situation

he would feel so powerless and like he’s just watching his partner get taken from him and there’s nothing he can do

if you did try to get him to join the convo it would just make him even more uncomfortable because he’d feel kinda left out

also definitely starts feeling maybe he’s being annoying or something

REASSURE HIM PLS

once you let him know you’d never leave him he’d pull a sapnap and start making jokes about the other person lol

sapnap:

listen... he trusts you. just you tho. everyone else is an enemy.

he knows you’d never do anything but the thought of another guy even thinking about you in some type of way makes him so agitated

super super possessive but I mean hey ur quite the prize that i’m sure he worked hard to get ;)

tries to keep you by his side/holding his hand most of the time

is not afraid to step in between a conversation. very confrontational.

puts on a whole tough guy act which you bully him for later lol

once you two are alone he starts talking so much shit about the other guy

“babe he is literally my friend-“

“ok? and your friends a little bitch that’s not my fault.”

kinda mean LMAO but he’s so good to you and would stop if you asked him

dream:

the most protective boy ever

is so focused on making sure no one is ever making you uncomfortable

literally on you like a guard dog

i would even go as far as to say his protective/possessiveness could become an issue in your relationship but he loves you and he has good intentions

if you don’t pick up on his change in behavior he gets very passive aggressive

he doesn’t just get jealous of people flirting with you it’s a lot of different things including his own friends

deep rooted insecurity OMG IM SORRY THIS IS SO DEEP

he’s just really afraid to lose you but doesn’t want to show it

wilbur:

you’d definitely expect him to be more mature about it

will glare at the object of his jealousy, even if they are looking lol

“y/n, that guy is looking at you weird— i don’t like it :( “

“Will please i’m not going anywhere. i promise you’re all mine.”

will litter your face with kisses after being jealous.

when someone is hitting on you, he just walks over and scares them off with his height

will instantly get over it if you give him affection

he might just want your attention sometimes, but other times there is some truth to it

^^^^ 🥪 ANON WROTE THESE aka my little wilbur soot enthusiast thank you very much

niki:

the most mature out of all of them lol

she trust you so much to the point where if she sees you talking to someone else she just brushes it off

he only concerns are the person being creepy or weird so she will make sure to keep on eye on what’s going on

also just wants to me sure you aren’t uncomfortable without stepping in too much

might gesture you over to her for a second or send you a questioning glance to make sure everything is good

if you happen to ask her to join the conversation she would be so happy it would really calm any nerves she had

if the person does end up being weird you guys def laugh about it and tell the story on stream lol

niki has very little fears with you, you’re her person and that’s that :3

hello hello thank you for reading hope you enjoyed!!! ALSO i’m gonna be doing like a little prompt thing for when i hit 100 followers so that will be posted soon and i’ll explain how it works and everything on the post!! (tiny milestone but thank you all so much :3)

@crackityy @themanifoldenjoyer ayo shoutout my only two tag listers so far LOL

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bonny-kookoo · 3 years

Text

Kind like you (JJK x Reader) 💜🔞☁️

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: fluff/romance, smut, angst, comfort, friends to lovers

Warnings: kinda dense Jungkook, JK being a brat, slight Tsundere JK, Koo struggling to sort his shit, kind reader, Crush!Reader, soft smut, praising, groping, kissing, pool sex, aftercare, heart to heart convos, they talk about toys lol,

Summary: Jungkook dearly wants to be kind like you. He wants to be so sweet, and gentle, and soft like you’re with him all the time; yet all he does is tease and pick on you, it seems.

Jungkook isn’t kind.

He likes to portray himself as such, whenever it’s needed, but he’s unable to quite make this characteristic a part of himself truly. It’s not like he’s a bad person, not at all; he’s helpful, caring, and well mannered. But he’s mean, he finds it funny when he gets onto someone else’s nerves. It’s like playing a game for him; and he loves winning. He’s good at it; it’s natural for him.

Then there’s you. You’re even more awkward with strangers than he is (which says a lot), but you’re everything he wants to be. You’re so soft spoken, always seeming to know what exactly to say in any situation. You’re kind, always thinking about everyone around you before you think about yourself, typically asking everyone else’s opinion first before you make up your own. You don’t like it when people fight, you never get possessive over things like he does. It’s even the tiniest things to him that make you seem so goddamn angelic; like that one time he whined about the fact that you got the last pack of butter cookies, immediately taking one for yourself to stuff between those soft looking lips, before shyly giving him the rest of the pack- still almost full. He had taken them without thanking you. He thinks about these moments a lot. He wants to treat you like Jimin does whenever you two interact. He’s so sweet with you, easily complimenting you and making you blush with his words, always playfully holding you close without ever making you uncomfortable. It’s weird to Jungkook how much that pisses him off the most. Whenever he’s alone in a room with you, you look uncomfortable- but when it’s Jimin, or Taehyung, you seem at ease. You joke around, and hug them like it’s second nature, while at the same time, you can’t look him into his eyes at any point of time.

He hates it.

He’s talked to Yoongi about it, after he’s seen you leave his studio one day. He knows you sing, he’s heard your voice, has saved every single cover song you’ve made on his phone to listen to them whenever he needs to just shut off his mind and think about nothing. He wants to do a duet with him, yet he knows he won’t be able to ever publish it because of his position in the industry. It frustrates him, yet he would be happy just singing with you for fun- he doesn’t need to publish it, he doesn’t need anyone else’s opinion on it; but he can’t ask you, it doesn’t matter how hard he tries. He can’t get the words out, even teased you for your voice before.

“You sound like a kid!”

He wants to take it back so desperately, but now, weeks after that comment, it would be weird wouldn’t it? It would just make him look like the fool he knows he is. So now he’s sitting in Yoongis studio, listening to your voice by second hand of you will, having been too unsure to come inside while you were recording. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. “She sounds great, no? Really like the slight tilts she has here..” Yoongi murmurs, placing the visual pointer of his mouse on the spot he’s talking about. He’s right, and Jungkook wants to say that, but he simply shrugs. “You don’t like it?” He asks, and Jungkook again, simply lifts his shoulders.

“Not my style, I guess.”

But Yoongi sees past that attitude as he raises his eyebrow questioningly. “Since when? You sing the same kind of songs all the time too.” He says, and Jungkook just chews on the inside of his lip. “You feeling competition?” Yoongi teasingly asks, and Jungkook scoffs.

“I’ve been trained for years, she’s a simple YouTuber. There’s no reason for me to feel competitive.”

But Yoongi suddenly laughs, burying his face in his hand as he stops the song. “Do you have a crush on her or something? You’re acting weird as hell Jungkook.” He says, and looks at Jungkook, who seems like he doesn’t react- only the tips of his ears grow red, as Yoongi laughs again, breathlessly as usual. “Oh my god you do! Little Jungkookie’s got the hots, I can’t believe it!” He barks out, and Jungkook whines.

“I don’t!” He says. “I absolutely don’t. She’s way too shy, and she’s so girly and all..” he complains, but Yoongi continues to smile. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Topic change then.” He says, and Jungkook nods. “Why were you and Taehyung fighting yesterday? Heard you’ve got him quite bad with a pillow.” He asks, and Jungkook groans.

“You said we’re changing the topic!” He says loudly, and Yoongi seems to have the time of his life.

“I am! How should I know the fight was about her?” He asks, and Jungkook kicks his legs with frustration.

“It wasn’t!” He said, and Yoongi raises his eyebrow, resting his head on his hand.

“Why are you getting so defensive then?” He asks.

“Because he shouldn’t send her a topless picture of him like that.” He says.

“I thought it wasn’t about her?” He chuckles.

“Fuck you.” Jungkook retorts, and it’s where Yoongi draws the line.

“Hey hey, calm down yeah? Didn’t mean to poke too much.” He says, and Jungkook nods, apologizing under his breath. “I thought you didn’t like her?” He asks, and Jungkook shrugs again.

“Never said that. But she’s so awkward around me.” He says, now a bit more defeated.

“Ever tried being nice to her?” Yoongi asks, while he continues working on the track to take some pressure off the maknae.

“I don’t know..!” He whines and throws his head back. “In my mind it’s so easy; go up to her, say hello, maybe tell her she looks nice, done!” He exclaims. “And then I say hello and screw it up by making a joke on her account and boom, congrats, fucked it up again.” Jungkook sighes, and The rapper doesn’t say something for a moment until he responds.

“You’re just not like that, I guess.” He explains to the younger one. “But you could try to tone it down a bit. Some of the things you say are actually quite mean.” He scolds gently, and Jungkook nods.

“I don’t know how to do that though.” He says.

“Wrap your compliments up in you remarks.”

“How?” The younger one asks.

“Well, you can’t say she looks nice, right?” The older one asks, and Jungkook nods. “But you always call her shortie.” Again, a nod. “Tell her she looks like a doll.”

“But isn’t that mean too?” He asks, and Yoongi snaps his fingers.

“It’s one of those comments that makes you think. Is it an insult? A compliment? You don’t have to go all in. Tease her in a way that can be taken positively as well. She’s smart enough to get innuendos like that.” He explains, and Jungkook seems to understand as he nods.

Maybe he’ll try that next time.

The next time you’re visiting them, Jungkook is as ready as he’ll ever be to make things count. As you take off your shoes, and hang up your red jacket, he snickers, as he walks by. “What’s up red riding hood?” He says, and he can hear Jimin chuckle from the couch as you follow him into the living room. “She looks like a Disney character with that bag and the jacket.” He says teasingly, and to his own surprise, he can see the edges of your lips move upwards into a shy smile, because he remembers vividly how you'd once told Jimin how much you liked the old classic disney films instead of the new ones.

It’s working, and it’s making him feel daring. Jimin retorts something along the lines of if he’s the wolf in that case and if he would eat her, and he finds his head suddenly on your shoulder, gently reaching over your now seated form on the couch to steal a dumpling from Jimin as he speaks.

“Nah, I’d only eat the ugly ones.” And this time, you’re actually giggling.

It makes his skin tingle.

And the night goes on like that, his typical picking covered in icing sugar, as he watches you become restless on your spot on the couch across from him. He grows addicted to the view, of that sight of your teeth digging into your lip as you grow giddy under his hidden compliments, and Jimin seems to catch up on it pretty quickly. He watches in fascination, as Jungkook keeps his eyes on you, and Jungkook himself feels a pull on his heart when he states that he's slightly (very) upset that you're leaving so early, even though it's almost one in the morning and he typically never even so much as waves you goodbye whenever you leave.

He doesn't mind the slight bullying from his hyungs after he'd waved after your leaving form before you dissappear from his sight.

Jungkook isn't kind.

He likes to portray himself as such, whenever it’s needed, but he’s unable to quite make this characteristic a part of himself truly. It’s not like he’s a bad person, not at all; it's just that he can't help himself when it comes to you. He's quite the sadist really, always bathing in the slight pout and amusing anger radiating off of you whenever he does something to rile you up. It's just like now; even though he knows you hate it, he loves to take advantage of the difference in height between the two of you. He laughes while holding his bowl of cereal while you struggle on the very tips of your toes in the kitchen, trying to reach the pack of sweet breakfast treats that he had placed way higher than necessary.

But it's when you climb onto the counter that several things happen.

First, it's the unintended panty-shot he gets, his pupils practically zooming in on the soft pink fabric on display for his greedy self, making him feel like a schoolboy that just sneaked a glimpse of a naughty magazine his friend had brought into class. It makes his mind fill with images of you, oh-so sweetly laying underneath his form as he pulls the cotton fabric to the side, ready and wanting as you patiently wait for him to connect your souls and bodies in the most intimate of ways.

The other thing however wipes away those images, as his doe eyes widen. It's the realization that you're wearing pink fuzzy socks, on a marbled kitchen counter, the danger of slipping as high as it can be. He knows you're clumsy, knows you're always attracting trouble wherever you go, and it's the small moment of your knee bending, your foot a breath too far off the counter, as you suddenly loose balance. He practically throws his almost empty bowl on the kitchen table before he reaches you, luckily managing to make you fall ontop of him than the cold kitchen tiles below.

At first, it's awfully quiet- there is no one here other than him and you after all. Then, the pain hits him, drumming like the beat of his favorite song, making him drop his head on the floor with a groan. You immediately move at that, getting off of him as you look for anthing that could be the cause. It's when he holds his hand, red seeping through between his fingers that you move. Grabbing kitchen towels for first aid, you help him as best as you can, as he watches you, pain already not so bad anymore as he looks at your delicate hands working on his larger ones with so much care.

He's ready to use it to his fun, yet he stops himself when he sees the tears on our cheeks. "Why're you crying?" He asks, and you suddenly sob more loudly, sniffling as you continue to try and clean his scrape on the back of his palm with running water. He shuts the water off, his hand not even bleeding that much anyways anymore, as he holds your shoulders, body folding over a bit to properly look at you. "Hey hey, why're you crying? I'm hurt here!" He chuckles, but it doesn't seem to do much good- as you just continue.

He suddenly grows more gentle, the hug a bit awkward at first, the close proximity weird for you both, but once he starts to softly rock you both from side to side, his unhurt hand running over your back before he sloppily wipes your tears off of your face- intentionally messily to make you giggle and push his hands off. "You're such a crybaby!" He laughs, as you hold his hand in yours, looking at it again.

"Does it hurt?" You ask, looking up at him, and he swallows hardly as he suddenly grows uneasy with the closeness of you two.

"No, it's just a scratch." He says, suddenly cleaning up the kitchen table where he spilled some of his leftover cereal and milk- simply using it as something to distract himself to calm down. "Why were you even climbing there at all? That's dangerous as hell." He said. "You could've just asked me to get it for you." He ends, and its the most truthful thing he's ever said to you.

Because that's where his deepest intentions with you were hiding. He's so used to being the youngest, of getting away with so much and getting babied by everyone around him, staff or his members, that he craves to take care of someone instead for once. He wants you to ask him for help. He wants you to hide behind his back when you're terrified of Taehuyungs tickle-attacks, he wants you to loose to him when playing video games, just so he can pull you onto his lap, his hands over yours on the controller to show you how its done. He wants you to proudly tell him of any achievement you manage to make no matter how small, just to gain his praise.

He needs you to need him.

Because whenever he's with you, he knows that those compliments and that pure amazement on your face is not because you want something in return, it's simply what it is. You make him feel so appreciated, so desired, so wanted for himself and not for his outside qualities. Because at the same time he loves how passionate you get whenever you notice that you know something better than him- how excited you get when you explain something to namjoon or to Hobi. He want's you to teach him things too, he want's to know what you can do, what you're better at, not because he want's to get better than you, but because he knows you're so much smarter in so many things than he is.

It's your voice that gets him out of his internal terror.

"Oh.. I didn't want to bother you though." You meekly say, and he wants to groan at this, to throw a fit, to be frustrated with you because that's exactly what you never ever do; you could never bother him to the point where he would refuse to help. No, he wants you to bother him. "I-what?" You say, and he suddenly turns around abruptly.

"What?" He asks, terrified if what he thinks just happened really did.

"You said 'But I want you to bother me'..?" You ask, and he wants to slap himself.

"I- I mean, I meant it in like, you can bother me, it doesn't matter much, you know?" He scrambles out, drying his hands after washing his bowl and leaving it in the sink. He suddenly grows uneasy with you in the room, yet he stills at your next words as if frozen in time.

"Oh.. I-" You start, before you step closer. "Thank you then, Jungkookie. I appreciate it." But its not only that, it's the tiny sentence you say and the action that follows that simply fries his mind. "You're not so bad after all." And you place a small kiss against his cheek.

You kiss his cheek.

Your soft lips touched his skin.

And he stands there for a while longer, not knowing what to do.

Jungkook isn't kind.

But over the course of days where you start to grow more and more comfortable, more daring, and more used to understand his language, he slowly mutates into an overgrown puppy.

He demands your attention, loves the way you blush under his teasing, and craves the way you squirm around whenever he's close to you. He's almost certain he's got a chance with you, making his own creativity thrive under your spell. He takes more photos than ever before, starts to be even more active (after you'd accidentally let it slip that you actually like how strong he is and that it makes you feel safe), and all in all simply falls for you.

But its all gone to waste at a certain dinner with his hyungs, that his food suddenly tastes stale, and his appetite is gone. "I want to confess to her, you know? I think I really got a chance." Jimin says, and Yoongi glances at Jungkook, concerned for the youngest since he knows his secret crush. "I mean she even gets along with the brat here!" He playfully says, playfully hitting Jungkooks shoulder lightly, but he doesn't seem an innocent gesture in it. No, Jungkook is riled up, and suddenly stands at the table, taking his cutlery and dishes to discard them in the sink. "Jungkook?" Jimin asks, confused, but Yoongi shakes his head with a sigh after the youngest simply retreated into his room for an early night.

"Jimin, I don't think that's a good idea." Yoongi says, and Namjoon seems confused. "I don't intend to be rude, but your interest changes weekly. Now it's her, the next week its someone else. Jungkook however-" He calmly explains, ignoring the slightly offended look of the dancer across from him. "You know him. He's never shown interest before- in anyone." Jimin slowly seems to understand, as Taehyung nods at it. "He really likes her. Think about it. Once you take that step, there's no going back. There's no 'lets stay friends if we break up' because that's just awkward. There's no second chance for Jungkook."

Jimin slowly nods, suddenly without much taste for his food as well. "I didn't know, honestly."

"It was kind of hard to see not gonna lie." Hoseok chimes in, putting his chopsticks down as he swallows the last bite of food. "He's all over her recently." He explains, and everyone nods.

This wasn't just a simple crush for him.

This was full blown love.

Jungkook isn't kind.

But he also can't say no to you.

He wants to be mad, he really tried to as well. But it's just- he sees your smile and hears your voice, and he's all in your hands, ready and willing to your very command. That's how he finds himself at your tiny apartment, helping you to put up some of your latest paintings on your walls- because initially you'd asked if he or his hyungs had a ladder in his dorm, but after you'd told him you'd use it to climb up to hang some paintings, he'd instead told you he'd help you instead, just to make sure you wouldn't fall and have an accident or something.

He want's to be mad, because he knows Jimin must've made his move at this point.

You seem so at ease, so happy, your steps so light and almost jumpy he wants to cry internally at how cute you are, for someone that isn't him.

"Ah, yes, that's perfect!" You say, and he slowly steps down from your chair he'd burrowed to boost his height a little, your hands weakly trying to steady him while he finally reaches the floor again. "I've made some cold stew yesterday, do you wanna stay and eat a little?" You ask, and he wants to nod, but doesn't.

"I don't wanna intrude or something." He says, grimply smiling as he brings the chair back into the kitchen area where it came from. He hates how deflated you suddenly look, how almost sad you simply nod as you trail after him like a lost pet, something many would find bothering, yet he loved it. He loved how you were always around him like a little shadow, as if to silently stay close to him. "So, you and uhm.. Jimin?" He asks suddenly, unable to keep the words inside.You blink, once, twice, before tilting your head in question. "He.. hasn't talked to you?" He asked, and you shook your head.

"No, what would he want to talk about with me?" You ask, and a very terrifying thought comes into his mind, like a tiny devil on his shoulder whispering in his ear. He hasn't made his move yet, so if he plays his cards right, he could still steal you from him quick and swift. You'd be his, he knows you're too kind to say no if he confessed, and Jimin would stand no chance. But just like the tiny devil, a tiny angel was there as well. Who was he to interfere with someone else's romantic life? He knew Jimin liked you enough to ask you out, and even though his hyung was never one to stay long, it would be an absolute dick move of him to ruin his chances.

But he loved you.

"Oh, you mean about you and me!" You suddenly said, and Jungkook almost choked on his saliva. "He said something about you liking me, and uh, that I should confess to you even though I know you're not interested in me like that- I'm sorry if he said something weird, it's just a weird crush, I'll get over it-" But he short-circuits, and blurts out what comes to his mind before he can think about it.

"Don't!" He says, a little too loud, and your eyes grow wide. "Don't.. get over it. I-" He's suddenly confused, overwhelmed, and has no idea how to handle this sudden turn of events properly. Should he kiss you now like in the movies or something? But he should also ask if he should, otherwise its without consent, but it would kind of ruin the moment, and oh god why do his hands suddenly get sweaty, thats so gross-

It's the shy and delicate touch to the very tips of his fingers, hand splaid out on the kitchen table that you're touching with yours, cheeks red and eyes down, and he suddenly thinks, 'fuck those movies', as he leans in and kisses you, slowly, just to make sure you're okay with it.

You're so okay with it.

He grows hungry at the movement of your lips, brows furrowing as he lets himself ride this wave of pure euphoria, holding your cheeks so lightly that you barely feel his touch at all. You snake your arms around his head as you tug him down a bit more, and his neck aches, so he simply reaches for your behind to help you up on the kitchen table for better leverage. "You're-" He starts between kisses, and can't help his smile. "-mine." He ends, and you nod with excitement, just as high on happiness as he is. "Can I, like-" He starts, almost frustrated with how he can't stop his lips from chasing yours even if he's the one talking. "-Touch you?" He finally gets out, and again, you nod, even if the tips of your ears grow a bit red at the suggestive question. His hands suddenly wander, over your shoulders down your sides, before they find your thighs. He loves the softness of them, his fingers on your knees as he opens your legs so he can get even closer to you. As if on instinct, your socked feet pull him towards you, and he chuckles at that, finally slipping his tongue between your lips as you push a hand into his dark hair, making him groan. He cups the sides of your breasts at first, delicately feeling them, before he squeezes gently, getting a proper idea of their plushness under his fingers.

He loves them already.

"I don't-" He starts, and is breathless just as you are as he places his kisses on the side of your neck. "I don't wanna fuck you on the kitchen table baby." He finally gets out, and you mewl at that. "Hm?" He asks, but you shake your head, too shy to say anything to that. He suddenly reaches for your behind, lifting you against his chest as he walks around with you, making you and himself laugh as he opens the wrong door before he finally finds your bedroom- cozy and cold due to the open window you always leave so that you can sleep better at night. You sigh at the cool feeling of the sheets underneath your hot body, and he grins down at you as he can't feel anything but pure ecstasy. Suddenly, he laughs, and groans lodly against your chest as he lets his forehead rest against it.

"What?" You ask between a laugh, and he begins to whine.

"I don't have a condom, fuck." He drawls out, and he really feels like an idiot. He's a fully grown man, he should have shit like that with him at all times, especially when he knows he's gonna visit his crush- but its so sudden, so unprepared, that he simply didn't think this would ever happen. He's deflated, painfully hard, and frustrated with himself, as you speak up again.

"Uhm, theres an orange handbag in the bathroom, its like, next to the shower. I think I still have one in there."You say, and he looks up questioningly. "It was a joke-present from a friend, please don't ask." You say, growing shy again as he simply chuckles, before getting up and searching for the bag you mentioned. It's safe to say that he doesn't only find the condom, but also a still fully packaged vibrator toy, in the same bag. His interest is definetely woken, but he decides against using it to tease you this time.

He'd get his chance soon.

But in that moment, as he climbs ontop of the bed again, it's all about you and him- its not about mindblowing sex or unusual experiences. He just wants to be inside you, close to you, he wants to claim you in ways that only lovers can. He's surprised, when he takes off his shirt, that you suddenly hold your arms high.

You're absolutely adorable in his eyes.

He chuckles as he helps you out of your sweater, kissing your nose, your cheeks, your lips, as he unhooks your bra to finally get a skin to skin feel of your breasts. He loves it even more like this, warm and soft under his palms, and you mewl in enjoyment as he continues his antics. He doesn't even notice when you'd discarded your shorts and underwear, his pants gone in a flash as his inked fingers reach between your legs to sloppily prepare you for him.

He knows he's a bit more on the.. bigger side, to say the least, a grower more than a shower, and it used to make him nervous in a weird kind of way. You're so delicate, so sweet, that he doesn't want to hurt you, and hes slow and steady as he finally enters you after putting on his protection. But you take it, you're such a champ, and pull him towards you by his neck as he moves slowly.

He picks up his pace at your demand, lost in euphoria as he lets himself go, lets himself enjoy as his mind is filled with your voice, your sounds, your scent, your everything. This is what he wanted, this is where he wants to stay for the rest of time. Not nescessarly buried withing you (although that's not a bad sound he thinks), but in your embrace, within your presence. He want's to stay at your side forever, keep you close to him so no one can hurt you, not even yourself.

He comes with a whine, an arch of his back, and his fingers on your pearl, desperate to get you over the edge as well.

It works.

And he's happy, exhausted, and absolutely in love as he falls down the mattress at your side.

"I always thought it would be weird." You said after you'd both taken a shower and cleaned up properly. He'd texted his hyungs, telling them with obnoxious emoticons that he's spending the night with his girlfriend, and Jimin plus Yoongi had reacted with a vomiting emoji.

Yet they were happy.

"What would be weird?" Jungkook asks, his hand running up and down your arm as you laid next to him, snuggled up onto his body.

"You know, having sex." You said, and it takes a moment before he suddenly snaps his head to you.

"Wait, that was your first time?!" He exclaimed, utterly shocked at it as he'd been convinced you weren't a virgin. You have had boyfriends before, he knew that, hell, he'd seen them too, and considering you were pretty close agewise he couldn't imagine. He feels bad about it, if he'd known, he would've made it more special, hell he would've asked you more times if you were okay with him taking something so precious from you. Now you could never get it back and he'd fucked it up.

"I mean, kind of?" You explained, suddenly hiding your face. "I mean, I've done, like, stuff with men before.. and I also used a.. you know, 'thing', but like, never the real.." You tried to come up with different names for the things you wanted to say, yet you simply ceased to talk.

Jungkook chuckled. "You used what? A dildo? Like, a fake dick?" He said, and you hit his chest with a whine, utterly mortified by his way of talking. "Come on I saw that vibrator in your bag there, but I never though you were a virgin!" He said, and you whined again.

"Technically I wasn't!"

He scoffed playfully. "Baby your first time was with a toy considering what you just told me, that STILL means you were a virgin!" He argued, and you groaned, trying to get out of his grasp now. "Come on, at least tell me if my dick was better than that rubber-cock?" He asked, and laughed full on at the way you hid your face behind your hands with a yell. "Don't hurt my ego, say it!" He laughs, and tickles your sides.

"Yeah yeah okay, your dick was better stop!" You laugh, and he grins, suddenly pulling you close to him as he hides his face in your hair.

"Oh baby-" He sighes out. "I love you so much."

"And I hate you." You mumble, before he playfully bites your ear.

"Jungkook no, they could see-!" Yet he doesn't let up, uncaring. The hotel they were staying at had a strict privacy policy- at this point his agency could ruin

them with a snap of their fingers just because they leaked a single strand of his hair. He wasn't concerned at all, as he continued to bite and kiss at your neck,

unable to keep his hands to himself as he grows hard.

He loves the high he gets from being in danger of getting caught.

Its silly, in a way, but it feels like a rush of some sorts. It's like he's a teenager again, sneaking in candy even though he's on a diet just to feel bratty, and its not

much different now, even though the scale is another. This was actually dangerous, but since no one else was staying at the hotel, and his hyungs had all gone

to bed, he refused to give in.

He wanted you, and he would take you.

Jungkook never liked sharing, nor giving away what was his when he himself didn't openly give it away. What was his, was his, there was no room for

discussion, even though he'd become a bit more understanding nowadays. Yet he would never let anyone see you like this, so vulnerable and wanting for him,

ready to become his slave to quench his thirst for you at anytime. You loved him just as much as he loved you, and this exchange of feelings always got him

riled up to the point of desperation.

Just like now, as he helps you stay afloat with his forearms underneath your own arms, kissing you silly while he pushes his thigh upwards underwater, feeling

you rut agains it like an animal in heat. He loved how you got whenever he pushed your buttons right, loved the sight, the sound, the entire situation. It ruined

porn for him in a way, modern erotica in no way reaching the level of satisfactory aesthetic that the sight of you could bring him. He'd taken pictures and videos

of you in nude positions and explicit situations to keep him entertained whenever he was far away, because whatever he found online of strangers couldn't bring

him a release worth working for anymore.

So it was utterly welcomed by him, when you had surprisingly told him that you had arranged to share the hotel room with him, and that you were tagging along for two weeks of his tour. Of course, his happiness was mostly simple enjoyment that you were there at his side, that you would sleep right next to him, yet it also was of a more carnal side of himself. And now, while his blood was still hot like lava inside his veins, adrenalin still high from his last concert, he was desperate to let go, end this day in a way he never thought he properly could.

He sloppily pushed the barrier between himself and your core to the side underwater, pulling his length out of his swimtrunks as well, uncaring on making it romantic. He knew he didn't need to always go overboard, he was clingy and touchy enough that you always felt appreciated and loved, even if he was impatient like that. He groaned out, mixed with a chuckle as he suddenly realized what he was doing, dipping his head down into the crook of your neck to bite and leave open mouthed kisses, rhythm just as steady and on-point as onstage just hours ago.

He came quicker than he'd liked, tattooed hand gently pushing you over the edge as well. you whined as he helped you out the pool, utterly mortified but still happy at the way he simply picked you up bridal style, carrying you out and back into your room, ready for a good nights' sleep.

The best he had ever gotten while on tour.

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