#silas after he does or says literally anything

[katakaluptastrophy]

I think what's so interesting about Gideon as a narrator at the anniversary dinner is the fact that there's clearly tensions that she's just not picking up on because she's only there to eat a dessert.

But these people are all the immensely powerful leaders of the Houses and consider themselves to be in competition for literal godlike powers and the favour of the emperor.

There's so many little snippets that are potentially intriguing: why is Teacher trying to prime the Ninth to consider the Fifth a threat? Why are the Third and the Sixth "sizing each other up like prizefighters"? The Fifth absolutely knew what they were doing when they sat the teen heads of the opposing cults near each other.

Through Gideon's lens, Magnus' speech is a little awkward jokey thing. But...the seneschal of the House that is known to be actively trying to absorb another House is saying it's such a shame they're all so remote from each other and what do they all have in common (and it's so quiet you "could have heard a hair flutter to the floor") - that had to feel a bit different to people who aren't Gideon.

Palamedes' is dissecting the meaning of "Master Warden" and at one point compares it to a prison warden. 'Dulcinea' asking about whether Magnus and Abigail have children is perhaps less small talk and rather more pointedly political. Harrow's apparently stilted conversation with Protesilaus is clearly her actually probing his limitations like he's a bad Chat GPT-run chatbot.

And then 'Dulcinea' tells Gideon she liked the dinner because it was "useful". In her typical "I never lied to you" way, Cyth wasn't lying when she said Abigail had to die because of her hobby - Abigail Pent let loose on the Facility would have risked blowing Cyth's cover sky high. But what does a Canaan House look like where after the dinner party, the Fifth go down to the facility, get a key, and survive to continue their 'the Houses are going to get along or else' agenda? We've seen Fifth House soft power on a smaller scale in HTN: and it looks like inviting a teenager round for coffee, lulling her into a false sense of security with small talk, and then physically preventing her from leaving the room until she does what you want, while smiling the entire time. A series of little coffee chats could probably have led to a lot of cooperation in Canaan House, one way or another.

Gideon jokes about Silas marrying Ianthe because of their similar colour pallete, but it does raise the fact that there seems to be some tension around the Third, its succession, and the *point* of Ianthe. Why is Silas openly saying Ianthe should have died at birth? Combined with Judith's comments in the Cohort Intelligence Files about succession on the Third, it feels like there's something else being said here that Gideon isn't picking up on.

And of course, Harrow wasn't the only one desperate to become a Lyctor because her con was unsustainable. Presumably at some point Corona and Ianthe would be expected to marry, or at least take on more separate roles as Corona prepared to take over the throne and Ianthe was funneled off elsewhere. At some point, their package deal would have become unsustainable and Corona's cover would have been blown. But much as Harrow wants to become a Lyctor so she can reveal the state of the Ninth without repercussions, Ianthe is probably in part motivated to become a Lyctor for the same reason. Because otherwise, what would Ianthe's expected role have been? Amidst the suggestion of anxiety about the Idan succession, the dinner party also presents the fact that the reason Abigail and Magnus' infertility isn't a succession crisis for the ruling family of the Fifth is that Abigail's younger brother dutifully married in his early 20s and had kids. We know there are branch families in Ida - Babs is from one. He may be a prince, but he's not treated well, and you do get the sense that the stakes to stay in power in Ida are high.

We don't learn anything about the political situation in the Houses themselves during HTN or NTN, but in the wake of Canaan House, you have to suspect there are a number of tensions and concerns.

#the locked tomb #tlt meta #Is Ianthe's “going to see a man about a queen” seeing to the political situation back home in Ida? #Which must have been devastated by her ascension and Corona's apparent death?

[typingwithmyhandstied]

(over)analyzing some lines from The Priest and The Shepherd

"With every bit of nerve he had, Silas finally forced himself to look up, to look right into Phoebe's eye. She terrified him. She grounded him. She should have been named after an epithet of the sun instead of an epithet of the moon, because it was inevitable that everything in Phoebe Hong's vicinity would circle her in orbit."

I could analyze these lines in so many different directions. I think it is cool that he compares her to the sun after saying he had a hard time looking at her. It is nearly impossible to look directly at the sun without feeling really uncomfortable and having it burned into your eyelids afterwards. He also really has made his whole life revolve around her.

I think it is interesting that Silas' world revolves around Phoebe, and he expresses that everyone is. I think that from hints that in FHH there's a good chance that Phoebe's world revolves around others too. I'm pretty sure that she joined the Communists to protect Orion. I would say that Phoebe is overall more like the moon. She's always changing and half of her is always hidden. I would say that Chloe Gong was clever in naming her Phoebe, but it's also from As You Like It so-

"It was no confession. It was hardly even a declaration. But it was more important to him than anything grand and large. Orion was so hell-bent on telling Silas that he needed to say something if he was going to pine around from afar, but who decided that was a necessary part of love? They were twelve. They had time."

This is where I get to the parts that really make me feel ill even more than the above. I actually think that Silas is amazing for this. He's not gonna be one of those middle schoolers dating you know just a pining loser (affectionate) instead, but it also makes me ill. Mostly, because with everything happening, do they really even have time anymore? They are on opposite sides of a civil war. Silas is literally trying to hunt her down even if he doesn't know it.

"When he looked at the girl before him, the world wasn't some large, unconquerable entity. It shrunk down to the four walls surrounding them, easing the tightness in his chest and distracting him with thoughtful solace. How did he put something like that into words? How could he put voice to the fact that her happiness made him happy, because even when they were little kids, it was so clear that she had found her place in a world where very few managed the same?"

I really like twelve year old Silas' description of what being with Phoebe/loving her feels like. It is so pure. It makes me want to cry with everything that is probably going to happen. Silas feels safe and calm with Phoebe. I also feel like this whole paragraph makes me think of things I've learned about how for love to work it needs to be both a feeling and a choice. You need to choose to care about someone. I don't know if that makes sense, but Silas saying Phoebe being happy makes me think of that and also kind of Agape (one of the Greek words for love, selfless love).

Also, Silas really is just a girl trying to find his place in this world. I also think it is interesting that he feels like Phoebe has found her place in the world. I'm not sure whether I agree with that or not. I am excited to see how that turns out in FHH.

"Nothing rang true enough. Only this--quiet, unspoken peace. Everything blazing golden under the surface."

Ahem golden. "Love is golden like daylight." Just saying. This also goes with my Sias really describes such a pure kind of love even if he does also kind of idolize her. At its heart. I want to cry. It is going to be so hard on him when he learns Phoebe is Priest.

Also the fact that Silas saying "You know you can always depend on me, right?" is a declaration/confession of sort to him and that Phoebe replies "of course I know." That is funny to me for some reason (while also being upsetting).

#this really has nothing of substance in it that can't already be seen but like i keep letting tpats emotionally destroy me so why not #i am really tempted to write a really long post comparing phoebe to both the sun and the moon it would get really contradictory and rambley #also i don't even know if i want a relationship ever in my life but if someone loved me like silas loved phoebe... that would be something #foul lady fortune #foul heart huntsman #chloe gong #secret shanghai #phoebe hong #silas wu #the priest and the shepherd #philas #phoebe x silas

[malka-lisitsa]

Why is your Katherine so obsessed with Stefan? I know she was obsessed with him in the show but you take it up a notch and it comes across as Stefan being Katherine's main personality trait. I think it leaves a poor taste for a woman's life to revolve around a man so much that it takes a big chunk of her autonomy. Stefan has done so much to her and it's overall a poor choice to me. I don't think Katherine - being the bad bitch that she is - would pine after Stefan after he has treated her in the worst ways :/

I thought about this all day, and I decided to answer it anyway so here goes.

Katherine is extremely obsessed with Stefan in the show too? Like the second she saw him that was her entire goal in life was to be with him? She watched him for 145 years while she planned her big break for freedom from Klaus so she could be with him for REAL- She ONLY came out of the shadows because Stefan started fucking around with Elena. "I came back for you." She literally screwed herself over revealing herself to them because of Stefan. She continues to help Stefan for the entire 3 year he absolutely treats her like shit.

Which btw she DOES fuck him up several times in retaliation but never stops trying to win him back even though he's spat in her face several times. She gets turned human literally tries to off herself and Stefan just says "Suck it up" and shes right back on the obsessive wagon to win Stefan back. He fucked her, snubbed her, literally SHATTERED HER ENTIRE WORLD- and she STILL snatched Elena's body with the goal of getting Stefan back. Which was the dumbest choice on her part- but you know what she was terrified of death, out of her damn MIND with paranoia and clinging to the thing she KNOWS makes her happier than anything else- STEFAN.

LITERALLY GETS SENT TO HELL AND COMES BACK AFTER STEFAN- So yes absolutely she pines after him despite all the shitty things he did to her.

The only thing that changes in my writing? Is I give the emotional insight to why she acts like that. The internal drive. The bond that she feels to him in detail as opposed to us just seeing her on screen saying she loves Stefan.

Katherine got Silas levels of the Doppelganger draw and it fucked her up badly. She absolutely was obsessed with Stefan she loves him more than anything or anyone. Katherine's goal has been LOVE since she was a human. She was literally a shadow of an extremely tragic love story. AND YET- while being completely bound to him in ways not even she fucking understands she still found a way to be the baddest bitch of all. She didnt LOSE anything by loving Stefan so hard. She CHOSE to dedicate everything she had to being with him because SHE WANTED her happy ending. Katherine decided what she wanted and KATHERINE went after it.

It didn't take anything away from her character at all and neither do I.

Saying Katherine is less of a bad bitch because she wants to be with Stefan so bad she acts a little stupid sometimes is the same bullshit as saying house wives are less than career women. Katherine decided what she wanted and she went for it. Just because she decided she wanted a man and not world domination doesnt take ANYTHING away from her. She was NEVER extremely ambitious she ONLY wanted to be HAPPY and STEFAN MADE HER HAPPY.

Katherine's main personality trait is that she wants her happy ending, she wants to be loved the way she loves, she wants to be able to keep and enjoy that love, and she wants what she fucking wants when she wants it. Shes a driven highly capable woman and her choice of main focus being Stefan doesnt take any of that shit away from her. Shes a BAD ASS with or without Stefan, but SHE wants STEFAN.

It would be so out of character to just have her decide she doesn't care that much and fuck off to do... what? Shes not a world domination type. She only wants safety and love- so if she ditched Stefan she'd just go after another lover. Oh wait like Elijah. And when that didnt work out she went right back to Stefan. So really idk what your beef is here. Katherine has always been a character whos main trait was she wants love. Just turns out the love she wants is Stefan's.

She makes shitty choices sometimes that get her in hot water regarding Stefan but none of her autonomy is ever taken from her unless Klaus is involved because he literally compels her. Katherine does what Katherine wants at all times PERIOD. Idk what kind of new age feminism you're trying to force on Katherine as a character but her being all about love and just wanting her happy ending doesn't make her any less of a bad ass and personally I think it's kinda sad that you'd say that.

Katherine was the fox that out ran the hound for 500 years both WITH and WITHOUT Stefan. She continued to thwart his plans and be a general thorn in his side, she continued to be the badest bitch, and an absolute legend ALL WHILE pining after Stefan. Katherine wanted to be happy and she knew Stefan made her happy. It takes nothing from her to have her goal be a happy ending with a man. Sorry that leaves a bad taste in your mouth but I will continue to keep her true to character and her love for Stefan in every verse it's applicable in thank you.

#Answered #Anonymous #the one and only... sort of: ooc #might as well mark this as a damn PSA #I didnt even go into how Stefan is her FP and how that greatly effects her behavior too #anyway all i do is put her thoughts to words #I didn't change anything about her

[jackienautism]

The most horrifying thing in the Quarry to me, aside from the Hackett family ignoring Kaylee and Caleb’s trauma, is the fact that a child of unspecified age was forced to survive in the woods for six whole years after getting displaced + having his once safe haven destroyed by strangers who wanted to “save” him then having to not get caught by said strangers’ family who want him dead for something he has no control over only to be killed while in a state of dissociation/deep sleep. Like, it’s not even mentioned explicitly but just…fuck. I’d the hell out of a book like that

you always realize the most fucked up things about this godforsaken game dfgkjdg still reeling over your most recent post btw i just want them all to be happy is that too much to ask

before i add anything on i just want to say even though ive said it plenty of times before: fuck the hacketts. like for real. kaylee and caleb deserved better

but GOSH i never realized just how fucked that is actually... if only they specified his age, i think that definitely would've made it hit harder yk? bc no matter how "young" it turns out silas is, it's still gonna be way too young to be thrust into his situation. having that like be solidified would've made it that much more. i dont know. real? bc the chances of him being like my age or yours is so.. likely

assuming silas also considered the rest of the harum scarum crew his family, he really like. lost everyone he cared about in one night and that's so so sad. all while he couldnt do ANYTHING consciously about it either. imagine you wake up just to see that everyone you've ever loved is dead and the place you call home is also gone? and, if silas even came to find out what exactly happened that night (which is doubtful? due to his lack of contact with literally anyone), imagine having to come to terms that you're technically the reason all that destruction took place?

long story short. fucking hell jkdfnjs i cant even imagine living on my own in good conditions so how the hell was silas able to do it in the middle of the woods! all while being hunted by these strange people! not only does he have to worry about food and shelter but now also the HACKETTS????? it's so. its not fair man

and the hacketts ARE able to accomplish their goal aftger killing several strangers and getting 9 unsuspecting kids involved and possibly killed. alongside their other family members potentially. what the fuck. if you couldnt tell i hate thisf amily

its nice they talk more about silas and harum scarum in the podcast but like... it being in game / not being extra would've been nice. would've been nicER. actually. since th whole game pretty much revolves around silas so. surprised they didnt talk more about him. actually no im not

#the quarry #jeyfeather1234 #asks #silas vorez #mine #text #my thoughts #my TQ tag #TQ

[drudeger]

beyblade burst manga review (arc 2)

so I finished the second valt arc of the manga last night (the part of the manga that would be adapted into the second season) and it was uuuuuh, ok i guess? LOL

look, morita's illustrations are really fun and oftentimes really good and his layouts and paneling are perfectly passable, but his scripting and writing are really really mediocre. I legitimately think it's a testament to the anime staff that we got the first two anime seasons as good as they were considering the source material.

for one thing, the manga's story is paced horribly. it jumps from battle to battle with basically no downtime in between and you get almost no time to just sit with what's happening. this creates a massive issue when morita wants to create tension or wants to write something that's emotionally impactful. (tbf, some of this may be because of the format of corocoro's monthly releases and/or the demands of takara tomy but it's really hard to say.)

additionally, character arcs are either flat or non-existent. for example, free in the manga literally never leaves bc sol. he's there for the entire arc doing nothing but being slightly mysterious and condescending and to be a thematic foil to valt (which he's really bad at up until the last like 1/4 of the story). we don't get any sense that he genuinely loves his team and will do anything if he thinks it's what's best for them. no sense that he's emotionally closed off due to his unwillingness to communicate with the people around him. no tension from the implications of his absence. he's just sitting there. being super strong and intimidating and condescending to everyone around him. they do give him a somewhat interesting trait, that being some form of like rage mode or emotional instability (the gross thing where he gets all veiny) that's glossed over quite a bit in the anime. yeah it's similar to the anime but it really isn't the same imo, and I think he could've been an even stronger character if they'd leaned into it more in the anime in addition to what was already written. that being said, morita doesn't do enough with it in the manga for it to be much more than what amounts to a gimmick.

silas has this issue too where he joins bc sol, wins some battles, and helps valt train like once. that's his character arc. they don't show him bonding with the team and learning to open up to them and care for them, it's a simple one and done "yeah ig I'll help you train lol." and it wasn't even during the world league, it was literally right before valt's final battle with shu.

shu's arc is mostly intact, but it isn't nearly as strong because we just don't get time to sit with him as a character and to really understand his struggle.

and this issue of flat or non-existent character arcs is only compounded by the first problem.

I can't even say I'm all that surprised or frustrated though. the first arc of the manga had similar issues, I just didn't talk about them at length because the first season of the anime, while a lot stronger than its manga counterpart, still wasn't even close to as strong as the second season.

at least that's what I would say, if it weren't for a few particular moments in the manga.

I've mentioned the poor pacing, flat writing, and mediocre scripting of the manga, and that's all true for the most part.

but there's this moment. the night before valt's battle with shu, free approaches valt who's still up late training. valt tells him he's afraid and they talk about how shu and spriggan requiem are terrifyingly strong opponents, and you get a sense that valt is really going up against impossible odds. but after saying spriggan requiem is the ultimate bey, free looks at valt and his expression softens. and he tells valt he can beat him.

this scene does not exist in the anime. it's well-scripted, well-written, and well-executed. it's a tender moment in a sea of constant, non-stop action.

there's some more examples of similar moments. they're brief flashbacks of shu and valt. here:

and these are the reason I'm so frustrated with the manga. morita shows his best not during moments of heightened emotions or action, but when he's really focusing in on character dynamics and relationships. so if we can get moments like this once or twice in the manga, why in the world can we not get them consistently thorughout it.

but yeah, the arc was alright. if you're an anime only, I can't really say you're missing out on much, at least not so far.

I'll continue reading through the manga and telling you all my thoughts!

#beyblade burst #goodeger #spam

[saltysuicune]

I don't like Evolution so far...

You know, I've been watching evolution and I gotta say... I don't like i so far, at least not the start I'm at ep 16. People keep hyping it up as the greatest season ever but I feel like it's just blind fanatism for Free and Silas. I made a whole ass thread on Twitter about why I don't like it, but I still want to share my thoughts here, so buckle up people.

Also like, please remember I've only gotten to when they go to México, so I can't take into account any kind of character moments or character development that happens after that 'cause I obviously haven't seen any of that yet unless I got spoiled.

It's actually a single very simple issue, but it bothers me a lot 'cause this wasn't a problem in season 1, or at least it wasn't so big; I feel they misuse so much of their time, like, let me explain. They had like 15 episodes of a whole arc, to introduce around 12 new characters and I don't even know who half of them are supposed to be (counting only the guys back at BC Sol).

Season one had also 15 eps of the first arc, but around numeber 5 you already know the basics about every big player in that arc and even most side characters. Those being the main 6, plus Hoji, Orochi, Xander, and both Valt and Daigo's families.

Wakiya and Daigo had more impact in this arc than most of the new characters on Valt’s side, I care more for the French team than the new supposed deuteragonists. Why do you make so many new characters if you won’t do shit with almost any of them? How do you make me care more about the secondary characters more than the main gang?.

Most of these eps were incredibly boring to me because they just got rid of the thing I loved so much about season one, every character had something that made them different from the rest or a reason to care about them, but during this arc most characters are "literally who"s.

Like, I might for example not care about Zac or Ukio that much, but I have friends who do. But Honey? Django? I don’t know a single person who even remembers them. And there was no improvement to anything else from Season 1, so there’s nothing to make up for this issue.

They should have actually taken the time to introduce everyone and show you just who they are. Who’s Django for example? Because right now he’s literally just a walking stereotype, not even a character, give me a reason to care about the fact he’s leaving. Stan got incredibly upset when that happened, clearly it was supposed to be an important thing, specially looking at how much it changed Stan's own character into an abrasive and resentful shit stain of a guy for a while.

Like I said, I think they should use the first few episodes to properly introduce Valt’s new friends. Show Django and Stan’s supposed friendship and how they were supposed to be among the strongest bladers besides Free, show me Valt befriending the new people, show them Honey interacting with her sister, HOW does she not have any chemistry with HER SISTER. Just make them feel like actual characters instead of replacing already loved and established characters with boring different nationality versions of themselves.

THEN you bring the plot. They don’t even need that many eps, they’ve clearly proved they can give them that treatment with just one, look at Cuza or Gashem, for example. They established them perfectly, why can't they do that with the characters you're supposed to see every episode? The story would be so much better if they made you actually care about these people, but they just didn't.

So many moments in the later half of these few first eps would be vastly improved, the few times someone decided to leave, that one time everyone got mad at Valt and Rantaro after meeting with Daigo, Silas rejoining, the little conversations Kris and Trad often have.

I just wanna care about whatever is happening, like I did in season 1. Kris and Ange's conversation in that one ep, Kit following Valt to the royal's place, everything Free did, those are great examples, I needed more of that, just give me character moments, tell me who these people are, please, I wanna care.

#beyblade #beyblade burst #beyburst

[umybitch]

Ranking TVD Female characters Part 1.

0/10, honestly I couldn't stand Elena she was annoying, self centered, selfish, and a hypocrite. She's not the good girl that she's made out to be. She always makes everything about herself, like Caroline's mom almost died and made it all about her and decided to have a makeout session with Damon like wtf. I loved how everytime if someone turned their humanity off they just realized that Elena is not worth dying for. She has a lot of Katherine qualities in her even though she would always say she's not Katherine. She used Elijah, Erasing Jeremy's memory, killing Rebekah. One thing about Elena I hate how when her friends would tell her how they felt and she would just disagree and she would just gaslight tf out of them. She also could not live without a man,. Also I hated how she dated Damon knowing damn well he abused Caroline.

10/10 in season 1 I could not stand Caroline she was so annoying and self centered and she was always in competition with Elena, and that's why Elena and Bonnie would cancel her out because she was just a hater. I think Katherine did her a favor turning her to a vampire because after she turned into a vampire Caroline was that girl 💅, I like that no matter what even if it would hurt somebody's feelings She would always tell them the truth whether they like it or not. Even when she turned her humanity off she really wasn't that bad I feel like they would've have just left her alone because she really didn't do anything we get it she wasn't herself. but I did not like when her humanity was off because it was like she was being her regular self and wasn't at the same time but she wasn't out murdering people until they started bothering her. But I still love her and she's still one of my favorite characters.

100/100 this bitch deserves better out of all of them I don't care, she has been through hell and suffered the most out of all of her friends. None of them wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for her. And I can't believe she stuck through with those people cause she loved them even though they killed every single one of her loved ones. Her grandma died because Damon wanted to open the fucking tomb to find Katherine even though she wasn't even in there, so her grandma died for no reason, then Silas came and killed her father right in front of her, Damon turned her mom into a vampire, Stefan killed Enzo, And she stopped a fucking hellfire. They were always using her for their advantage for something. I feel like they did love Bonnie to the extinct but only because she was so powerful and that they could help their narrative. They only call out to her because they needed something. She gave Caroline the sunlight ring, she resurrected Damon, Jeremy, she literally became the anchor.

0/10, she was so annoying I honestly did not care when she died. She's useless like her brother and she kinda led Jeremy on and would switch back to Tyler. I have nothing else to say about her.

100/100, Katherine was that bitch. I love how she stands her ground and she never to pretend to be something she's not. At the end of the day everyone knew she was trying to save herself and only herself and she made it known numerous times. I really hate how everyone used her and get mad at her when she leaves or when she does some shady shit but you guys literally hate her and all you use her for is when you need her and I feel like if they treated Katherine differently the storyline would be way different. And I feel like Katherine deserved better.

10/10, I love Rebekah she's literally my favorite Mikaelson, Also deserved so much more than she got and she was actually a sweet girl. The only reason they disliked her was because of Klaus, they did not like Klaus so they took their hatred of Klaus out on her.

10/10 I love Lexi she was nice and chill and a good best friend to Stefan,I hated how Damon killed her because I loved her. I really got mad when she decided not to be alive and stay on the other side.

10/10 i loved Sybil she was that bitch and she was an awesome villain of season 8. She did not deserve that much hate she's actually underrated character. she was just betrayed by her sister who turned her to a cannibal and abandoned her on a island. I didn't like that she got killed because I would love to see more scenes from her.

9/10 I loved her and her relationship with Mary Louise honestly I would love to see a little relationship with Bonnie not gonna lie. I know she did not get much screen time but her death scene with Mary was so cute but at least they both died together.

8/10 I love Jenna I know she was kinda oblivious of everything going on because no one told her anything, but her death was so heartbreaking for me but honestly she's underrated. We love Jenna.

#Vampire diaries #Elena Gilbert #Caroline Forbes #Bonnie Bennett #Katherine Pierce #Jenna Sommers #Nora Hildegard #Sybil #Lexi branson #rebekah mikaelson #Vicki Donovan

[hum-suffer]

Grihlakshmi

A treat for you all (whoever is interested) on Sankranti! Enjoy yourselves as I did while writing this!

This is a fanfic on my favourite YouTuber and it can be read without context! Better context: Medha and Savitri are OCs and Medha is a medical student while Savitri works in philanthropy. Everyone else has a YouTube channel.

____________________________________________________

Medha is half asleep by the time they reach Ayodhya. She tried to stay awake because everyone else was sleeping in the car and she didn't want Lakshay to feel like some unimportant driver but even the power of tea has some restrictions.

The stereo plays a song that she doesn't recognise but Lakshay is singing along so she doesn't say anything, focuses on the way his fingers tap on the steering wheel in time with the music.

"Sunn," he says softly, aware that all their friends are asleep. He steals a glance at her before going back to the road,"You can sleep."

Medha nods, clenchs her jaw to stay awake and answers him,"I know. I'll sleep in the hotel."

"Vini, you literally can't keep your eyes open. Go to sleep. It's only fifty kilometres more, I'll be fine." He says, lips twisting in the way that shows how dismissive he is trying to be.

Medha rolls her eyes. "Focus on the road."

The next song on the stereo is a Jagjit Singh Ghazal. Medha sings along, playing with the anxiety ring on her hand. She laughs at the deliberate voice cracks in Lakshay's voice and they end the song, harmonising with one another.

"Aap Mumbai bilkul nahi aa sakte hai." She tells him laughingly. "Aise gaano se Tony Kakkar darta hai. Aap vaha chale Gaye toh uski rozi roti chinn jayegi."

Lakshay snorts and swats her shoulder lightly. "Aise dhoke degi tu ab?" He shakes his head dramatically as he begins singing, "Accha sila diya tune mere pyaar ka—"

Medha shakes her head with a laugh.

____________________________________________________

Lakshay raises his eyebrows at her when she grabs his phone to record a small part for the vlog. Her phone is in her purse and she's too lazy to look for it in the darkness.

"So, we're finally in Ayodhya!" She does a little gesture that seems half hearted to even herself. It's 3:23 am. The car slows down as Lakshay parks and she pans the camera towards him and points,"Taaliya ho jaye humare talented driver ke liye dosto."

Lakshay gives her a deadpan look from the driver's end. "Vapas jate wakt tujhe try karna chahiye drive karne ka. Main gaadi mein helmet pehen ke baithunga."

Unable to find a retort, Medha pushes his shoulder. "Haa chal, get out."

"Apna saman khud nikaliyo."

"Arre yaar Lakshay!"

____________________________________________________

He gives her an unimpressed look as he sets her bags down in the room she's going to share with Savitri. Medha gives him an overly sweet smile. "You just can't leave me, even if you want to."

He scoffs,"Want to? Do I look blind to you?"

Medha laughs, ignoring the indignant squawk that leaves Savitri, flops on one of the twin beds, face down. "Go to sleep," she says gently, giving him his phone back after she's paused the recording. "And turn off all your alarms. You deserve all the rest you can get."

Lakshay gives her a satisfied smile, the same easy going, relaxed body language with the face that says,'don't fuss, I've got it and I've got it well.'

Medha rolls her eyes. She's more done with him than the receptionist was with them— checking them in at 3:30 am, checking identifications of six people, four of whom were sleeping on their feet and other two had been arguing back on forth.

She makes a mental note to leave a tip for the receptionist.

Lakshay yawns, stretches along with it almost dramatically and then keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer than necessary. "You go and sleep too. And don't wake up early, it's already an empty day today. Diwali is tomorrow, get your rest today."

Medha nods, eyes drooping on their own. This time, she yawns and blinks at him. "Good night, Lakshay. Ram Ram."

"Ram Ram, Vini." He says awkwardly and shuffles away from the doorstep, almost rushing to the room he's going to share with Harsh, two doors down, across the corridor. Medha doesn't care about his lack of formal manners— he's always been awkward.

Lakshay stops at the door, his hand on the door's handle as he gestures with his head for her to head in her room. Medha doesn't bother suppressing her smile and returns the gesture before she heads inside.

She stays with her ear pressed to the door for a moment longer, hearing the other door open and close through the probably hollow door.

It's only after that, that she kicks off her shoes and removes her rings, falling on the unoccupied bed gracelessly and pulling up the blanket over her face.

____________________________________________________

She wakes up to the sound of Savitri speaking. "I don't even know when I fell asleep, to be honest. I was so tired from the travelling, plus the atmosphere of the car was so silent." She's saying, sounding as if she's reminiscing the car's atmosphere.

Medha pulls the now haphazardly strewn blanket over her head again, kicking her foot to detangle the part of the blanket that had gotten tangled around her whole foot. She grunts and turns on her side, trying to sleep.

"Even I don't know," Harsh says,"I did sleep after you but I don't know when. Probably because of those songs that Medha was playing."

From under the blanket, Medha raises her hand and flips them the bird. Harsh chuckles spitefully,"I'm vlogging!"

She waves her finger more obnoxiously before getting her hand under the blanket again and closing her still heavy eyes.

"Medha," Savitri calls out,"wake up, it's 9 already! The breakfast lounge will close at 10."

Medha groans and buries her face deeper into the pillow that smells of her own perfume because she hated the idea of smelling any generic detergent in her pillow and had sprayed some of her first available perfume on it.

She doesn't have any thought or energy to wake up when she feels a weight over her whole body, knowing it's Savitri being annoying deliberately, Medha whines. "You people slept in the car yesterday, we didn't! Let me sleep, for fuck's sake!"

"Haa toh who told you to be awake?" Akshit says from somewhere in the room,"Lakshay was driving, not you."

Medha throws off Savitri as she rises on her elbow and narrows her eyes at Akshit. "One, I have manners. And two, I wouldn't have had to stay awake and he wouldn't have had to drive for five consecutive hours if SOMEONE didn't fall asleep like a lightweight."

Medha doesn't need to see him to know that Harsh is rolling his eyes. "It was the best sleep I've had in a while and I'm not apologising. Ab tu uthegi ya uthake feku tujhe niche?"

Medha glares in the general sound of his voice and begins to sit up, yawning and blinking away the sleep.

____________________________________________________

They're starting their breakfast when she gets the call.

"Let me talk to Lakshay," her brother says the first thing as soon as she picks the call, without greeting her. Her volume was at full since last night and its obvious everyone at the table heard it.

She lowers the volume instantly and gets up, leaving the table to a safe distance. "Kya hua?"

"Seriously? You don't know?" Bhaiya sounds exasperated and furious at the same time. "Usne kal roast dala tha na vo Dev Tyagi pe?"

Medha is taken aback at his language but hums in affirmation. A glance back at the table confirms that Lakshay is looking over at her with a frown while everyone else is talking in hushed tones, clearly spooked.

"Uss gadhe ki stories dekh private account se." Dhanajay says. "Teri bhabhi mere sath abhi na hoti toh main uss chutiye ke ghar jaa ke uski taange Tod deta."

In a flash, she remembers her school. She remembers the senior boy who had hit her with his bat to bully her. She remembers her brother had chased him down the whole school. She remembers the scene clear as day— the boy sprawled on the floor with her brother stradling him and punching him.

He changed schools next semester.

"Bhai," she says softly, going back to instinct to be quiet (quiet, or they'll hit you, quiet or you'll wake him up, quiet or—). "What's wrong? Take a breather and tell me. I'm listening."

"I'll send the videos to you." He hisses out, his voice sounding hoarse in a way she knows. It gets like this when he's clenching his teeth and the veins in his neck pop. "I need to talk to Lakshay."

"Don't blame him for anything," she says hurriedly. "Usne thodi uss chutiye ko kuch karne ke liye kaha hoga. Samjhiye thoda."

"I'm not blaming him, Medhasvini." He's fully raging if he's calling her by her full name, Medha knows that much. "But if Lakshay doesn't do something about that motherfucker, I will. I'm attached to the two of you and Lakshay's name is attached to that Dev. Uske naam pe bill phat jayega. Usko bol first step khud le le, varna kuch bachega nahi uss chutiye ka mere marne ke baad."

Medha gulps. She's known her brother to be short tempered, and she's also known him to be truthful. Something must be outrageously wrong.

She nods out of habit. "Haa bhai. Vo chhodo, bhabhi aur Amrita kaise hai?"

She knows that he knows she changed the conversation to get his mind off of the thing. But he doesn't protest. He tells her about the newest order that bhabhi's construction firm had, tells her about Amrita's drawing of their house. He tells her how he bought roses for bhabhi and tells her how he took Amrita to learn cycling yesterday.

He doesn't realise it.

"I'm so proud of you," she tells him, her voice heavy. He makes a quizzical sound. "You're being a great brother, husband and father. I'm so, so proud."

"Thank you, Medha," he says warmly. "But this doesn't subtract from the duty I have as your brother. Either you or Lakshay do something or I will."

She takes a deep breath, looks back at the way Rachit is looking at her with an almost knowing look.

____________________________________________________

"Kya ho gaya bade Bhai ko?" Lakshay asks when she's getting seated back. The conversation stops flowing and Medha looks down at the phone in Harsh's hand pointedly.

It's only after the camera has stopped recording that she speaks. "Apparently Dev Tyagi posted a story about me. Kal Rachit pe tha, Aaj mere pe hai. Bhaiya told me to check out the stories he posted. Kuch action karna padega meko Varna bhaiya will fuck him up."

The air goes from jovial to tense. Samrat Bhai leans forward. "Kya bola vo?"

Medha purses her lips as she starts viewing the stories her brother has sent her, pointed out.

She doesn't cover her flinch well as he calls her a whore. He says she's Lakshay's girlfriend and is cheating on Lakshay with him. He says other things that make bile rise up in her throat. Something about using her is also peppered there.

Her brother's angry messages follow the stories and she tells him she'll take care of it.

She doesn't know how, but she will.

She flinches back hard when Akshit tries to touch her shoulder. He looks at her with sympathy in his eyes and she loathes it. Akshit gives a half assed grin,"Don't worry, we'll kick his ass."

Lakshay, who has Medha's phone in his hands hasn't spoken. She looks at him in suspicion and it only takes a second but he's off of his seat, the spoon falling from his hand and making a clattering noise in the plate of poha.

Medha instantly goes after him.

He's typing something on his phone, her phone secured in his shirt's pocket. He's muttering to himself,"Bhadwa sala, kya hai iss ko behenchod—"

"Chaudhry Sahab, shaanti!" She grabs his elbow to stop him from literally running off. He narrows his eyes at her. "Calm down, Lakshay. I'll deal with him, do not ruin your YouTube over these petty words."

"Petty?" He scoffs. "Vini, I call you my Grihlakshmi. These insults are a different deal, agar vo tu karke bhi tujhe bolta hai toh mere liye vo vyajbi Karan hai uski faad Dene ka."

Warmth unlike anything fills her. She suppresses the smile and pulls Lakshay closer. "I know. And thank you for that. But this is just a naive boy with little to no sense. A legal notice and he'll go back to the hell he crawled from."

Lakshay shakes his head. "Your exams will come up next month. I don't want you distracted. Give me three days, isko toh main muh kholne layak nahi rakhunga."

"Nothing illegal." She half jokes, she knows just what contacts Lakshay has and what they can do. She's one of said contacts and so is her brother. Her brother and Lakshay together could ruin everything they've built brick by brick— just because some upstart said something about her.

Lakshay nods. "Nothing illegal. But I promise you this; agar isne tujhe official apology nahi di, toh ya toh uska career bandh, ya vo jail me bandh."

She doesn't know how else to show her appreciation and squeezes his elbow lightly, giving him a smile.

#youtube #YouTube fanfic #desiblr #suffer ye suhana nahi #desi tumblr #writers on tumblr #fanfiction #indian youtuber #Lakshay Chaudhary #lmk if you like it enough for a part 2

[toughtink]

some post-nona thoughts and questions in no particular order:

and this will be long and full of spoilers, sorry

so is silas coming back next time? because i have questions about wtf took over his cav especially seeing as those tongue eye things showed up on the ninth house. biblically, silas traveled with paul, so maybe paul will be related to his comeback? idk

what’s with the tower? “kironia” and ianthe are referred to as “tower princes,” the RB was yelling about a tower to nona via judith, and we got a big tower coming out of the river now?? and the whole “the tower has reactivated” cipher or whatever it said, too. the only tower that’s been story relevant thus far is canaan house + the facility beneath it. harrow estimated they only saw ~30% of that tower with the rest going deep under the ocean, which i always took to mean that it was originally a sky scraper that they built a temple/church/palace on top of. OH YEAh! and a tower is in the jod chapters maybe??? it was confusing. (gasp! what! confusing??? in this series?!)

so is nona translating a ton of people’s names when she hears them, and that’s why she calls corona “crown” and has that exchange with hot sauce where she gets corrected on born in the morning’s name? and this is a separate thing from the multi-sentence long names that seem to be BoE tradition?

speaking of weird name stuff, the jod chapters have him using intials to refer to his friends! that was annoying but implies that they didn’t all used to have their fancy mouthful names which makes some sense, especially since jod specifically mentions changing U— and T— to ulysseys and titania. however, i’ve seen a lot of folks under the assumption that he wiped his friend’s memories after rezzing them, but is there evidence for that? i gotta reread htn, but i know that mercy didn’t seem to realize that gideon’s gold eye color was jod’s before it was alecto’s and only put it together near the end—point in memory loss’s favor (tho i don’t think we can officially say it’s purposeful on jod’s part yet.) HOWEVER!! when nona & the gang are approaching the tomb near the end of ntn, pyrrha mentions gideon (the first) and after saying his name a couple times says “G—” like jod does in his chapters!! implying that pyrrha might just know gideon’s pre-resurrection name! so either jod’s friends did retain their pre-res memories OR that memory loss thing happened later, probably post lyctorhood if it could affect the lyctors but not the cav secretly residing inside still??? idk. EDIT: my frand ginny pointed out that on pg 433 jod talks about how his friends “won’t have to remember anything,” because he knows where remembrance lives in the brain, and this sort of mirrors harrow own attempt to alter her memories. i think with pyrrha remembering g1deon’s name, we can say these are likely altered memories rather than a complete clean slate.

i need people to realize that when nona describes “teeth” coming out of gideon’s speed holes, it’s most likely ribs and not literal teeth. also—the speed holes joke is maybe one of my favorites in this book and incontrovertible proof that kironia is indeed our gideon.

i want to know more about anastasiaaaaa! was she another married/romantically involved pair with her cav? did pyrrha mention something about painting a nursery on the ninth?? what if anastasia was pregnant when her lyctorhood went wrong????

what’s this with cassiopeia and the sixth house in communication? that was her house, right? also, cass is the C— mentioned in jod chapters that marries the artist N— (nigella) and has teeth flowers at their wedding. also, she had the tooth trial at canaan house. and the tooth secret message in the corresponding study. what’s with all the teeth? lol

that tooth secret message was about doing soul melanges to power the canaan house staff, including teacher! 6th house theorm was soul melange related, so paul makes sense!!! ;v; (it should be noted that everything with cam, pal, and paul had me in tears and i’m never getting over their recorded conversation.)

gideon is clearly missing pieces figuratively and literally (her heart!! 🥺). TM said that if gideon’s soul was a happy meal, harrow ate the cheeseburger, but that leaves the fries, sauce packets, and toy. so where’s the cheeseburger now? attached to harrow’s soul? or attached to her body? completely absorbed and essentially gone? something has to be powering nona’s lyctoral regeneration powers so i’m kinda team body. that and the fact that she’s wearing the cheeseburger shirt and that feels like TM trying to give us a giant neon sign of a hint?

as for harrow…i saw the icy tomb she climbed into at the end of htn as a metaphorical tomb in her mind, between the lobotomy slits i guess where she was keeping gideon’s soul, thus the nonexistent sexy magazine. ntn makes me think she was also in the actual tomb, aka fully swapped places with alecto? but i suppose either could be true. the jod chapters feel like she’s tapping into alecto’s memories and subbing in herself maybe? that doesn’t really say much about the literal placement of harrow’s soul, tho, just that she has a connection with alecto.

anyways, it looks like she woke up long enough for the epilogue and then promptly passed out again (woo go girl! give us nothing!). and we know that she’s going to be harrowing hell at the start of atn?? good luck have fun i guess???

oh yeah is part of the reason nona’s not all there because not only is she in the wrong body, but she’s dealing with harrow’s lobotomy brain???

gonna come back and add more laterrr—edit: i’ve come back SEVERAL times to add more. maybe i should just reblog or make a new post for more. 🙈 i’m at the end of my gtn reread so htn will be next. oof that one will take a while methinks! and then i can reread nona…which will be my first Proper read through for the final version since i’ve only read the ARC months ago and some random passages since it came out.

#nona the ninth #nona the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb #tlt #the locked tomb spoilers #ntn #gtn #htn #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth

[britswriting]

Unbroken (35)

Unbroken Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

A/N: Please be kind to Leighton, even if she seems dramatic or annoying in this chapter. Let's remember that pregnancy is a beautiful, yet very painful thing.

T/W: Tiny mention of drug use

*Colby's POV*

"So, when are you going to tell me about your breakup with Silas? It's been a month..." I asked and she smirked at me, shaking her head.

"When are you going to tell me about your tinder date? What's her name? What does she look like?" Leighton asked and I cocked an eyebrow

"And who told you about that?" I asked, surprised she knew.

"Stas"

"Ah. Well, for your information, her name was Maddie and it did not go well" I took a sip of my drink and she stifled a laugh.

"Why, what did Maddie do?"

"Not much"

"You're gonna have to give me more to work with Cole"

"Cole?" I asked, surprised by her using my legal name.

"Got a problem with it?" She asked, grabbing a french fry.

"You know if your diet is only french fries, your baby is going to come out looking like a potato"

"They're gonna look like a potato either way, might as well enjoy myself"

"You're so mean to your baby" I laughed, glad the subject changed off my bad dating life.

"I am not!"

"You just called it a potato!"

"You're a potato!"

"You are what you eat"

"Shut up and tell me about Maddie"

"What do you want to know?" I asked, deciding if was easier to just give in

"Well, what does she look like? Can I see her tinder profile? Oh my god, even better, can I see yours?" Leighton asked with a giddy expression on her face.

"No you can't see my tinder profile and Maddie kind of looked like Sadie?"

"God. Her name is banned in my life"

"So you're not naming your baby Sadie?" I asked and she grinned at me.

"No. No I am not" She smirked and I eyed her, trying to figure out what that smirk was containing.

"What is that look for?" I quizzed and she kept smiling whilst taking a bite of her french fry.

"Cause I know the baby name. Male and female" she grinned at me and my eyes widened.

"TELL ME!" I shouted and she shook her head. "Why not! Literally everyone got to know things first before me"

"Not till the baby is born. I picked the girl name, Gabe and I picked the boy name"

"Can I at least know the initials?" I asked, feeling giddy about knowing what her baby's name could be.

It's weird to feel excited about this.

I spent so long wanting to be mad at her for lying to me, that the idea of me feeling excited was peculiar.

"No! It'll ruin the surprise!" She exclaimed and I rolled my eyes.

"The surprise was that you were pregnant at all" I muttered and she glared at me.

"What do you want to do after this?" She questioned, drinking more of her strawberry lemonade.

That seemed to be our outings lately. French fries and lemonade on a sunny afternoon.

It's interesting how we went from hangover food at 2am to snacks in the sunshine.

"Aren't you on bed rest?" I asked, knowing she has some pretty strict orders to try and prevent some of the swelling.

"Yes and no. Gabe put me on bed rest. Dr. Hughes didn't. Plus, I need to go look at maternity clothes. My mom told me to look at nursing bras and post labor clothes. She said big and baggy" Leighton spoke mindlessly.

"So you can say nursing bra in front of me, but not horny.. got it. Speaking of exs.... How'd it go with Silas?" I tried again and she sighed.

"Haven't heard from him. Him and Aimee disappeared. Aaliyah tried inviting them, but hasn't heard anything back. I feel bad though because I cried a lot for Gabriel. Like that classic teenage girl breakup... but I've only cried like twice over Silas.. and it mainly had to do with me feeling bad. Not like romantically missing him. I miss hanging out with him. He was a good friend.. I don't know. Just kinda sucks" she shrugged, grabbing her lemonade.

"Was it weird?"

"Was what weird?"

"Seeing your boyfriend as just a friend" I asked and she just stared at me.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Just curious"

"Well stop being curious"

"What's wrong?" I asked, picking up on the snippy tone she gave me.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She snapped, catching me completely off guard.

"What?"

"So what, you can ignore my questions, but I can't ignore yours? You keep telling me we have this truce.. and yet, when I ask a question, you ignore me. Just the other day, I asked how your date went. You asked how my breakup went. What's up with you? What's up with me is wondering what is up with you, and why you keep changing the subject when I ask about your dating life. If you're going to start a new dating life, you might as well talk about it. We're friends right, so why are you so hush hush?"

"Hush hush?" I asked and she nodded.

"Hush hush" She confirmed and I let out a deep sigh.

"There is nothing to report. They didn't work out. I didn't like them. I moved on" I shrugged, wanting to drop the topic, but much like I did with her pregnancy, she did with my dating life.

She pushed for answers.

"Well tell me what went wrong. We're friends right?" She asked and I groaned.

Great.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, already regretting even toying with the idea of this conversation.

"Well what did you hate about her?" She asked, breaking apart one of the chocolate chip cookies she got with the fries.

"Um.. Well.. she uh..." I stuttered, not sure how I tell her what I was actually thinking.

"Spit it out already. I don't want to be giving birth by the time you tell me"

"She just didn't meet the criteria" I said and mentally facepalmed.

Criteria? Really Colby?

"Criteria huh? Tell me about this dream girl criteria" She leaned back against the chair, her hands resting on top of her bump, and I watched her hand jump a little at the kick.

"Well for starters, definitely not pregnant with a shit load of baggage and plentiful of failed relationships" I smirked and she glared.

"Hardy har har" She grumbled. "And for your information. I only had TWO failed relationships. I am lovely. I have friends and family that I love hanging out with. I love animals. I want a dog so badly. I love kids, even if I'm deathly afraid of fucking it up. I love art and hanging out with my dad. I used to like cooking with my mama until she got sick. I am nice, and trusting. I'm not naïve. I know when to trust a gut feeling, and when to use common sense. I know how to cook and clean to keep me alive. I know how to work a car. Not just drive it, but fix it. My uncle Garret made sure I knew how to change my own tire, and fix my oil. Change a headlight and how to jump a car. I can make a mean baked ziti, not that you would allow me to even touch the stove in your place. Why is that? What, I make one bad meal and I'm banned forever?" She asked after rambling, taking me by surprise.

"Leigh, it was just a joke" I breathed out, taking in all the information she sprang at me.

"It's always a joke with you guys isn't it" She grumbled, confusing me. "Hey Leigh, snort this, shoot that. Hide the spoons and the needles. Don't let her touch you, you'll get a disease!" She grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Leigh I never-"

"I might be broken and bruised, but at the end of the day, I'm a damn good girl and I won't let you belittle me, even if it's just a joke" Leighton hissed. "I don't care how big and famous you get. Don't act like you haven't fucked up in the past! Yeah I'm twenty one and pregnant and my life is in shambles right now... but there is one thing that you forget when describing all the things wrong with me. I'm still standing and that will always mean more than the lousy words you just used in a way to mock me" She grumbled, quickly standing up and snatching her phone off the table, walking away.

"Leighton, wait!" I yelled, speed walking to catch up with her.

"NO! I WAS TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND! AND INSTEAD YOU BELITTLED ME!" She yelled, quickly turning around and I reached my arm out to steady her, but she snatched it away.

"I didn't belittle you"

"Whatever. Take me home" She grumbled and I sighed.

"You're overreacting"

"GREAT. ADD IT TO MY FUCKING LIST!" She yelled, a few people turning to look at us.

"Leigh... Leigh.. LEIGHTON!" I yelled and she turned around again, tears now running quickly down her face.

"WHAT!"

"I'm sorry" I said sincerely but she rolled her eyes.

"Tell it to the pillow you kiss at night. Take me home or I'll call my brother"

"I'm sorry. Please, come sit back down" I begged and she wiped some tears off of her now red and puffy face.

"Give me one good reason as to why"

"I really do want us to be friends. I'm sorry for the untasteful joke I made" I apologized and she sighed.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you" She murmured, wiping the last of her stray tears off her cheeks.

"Can we start over? If you really want to know about Maddie, I'll tell you. It's just.. nothing really went wrong. It just didn't feel right"

Leighton let it go and she walked back to the table with me. We talked a bit about our work plans, and I even tried to convince her to come along on an investigation, but she said she can't whilst she's pregnant, and the baby will need her for a long time.. so that idea was shot down.

"Do you think you'd ever do another investigation with us?" I questioned her and she shrugged.

"I like hanging out with you guys.. but I don't think it's fun for your viewers that I don't believe in ghosts"

"How could you not believe! You had a first hand creepy experience with one!" I exclaimed and she smiled at my outburst.

"I try not to think about it. It was weird and creepy and I rather just think it just never happened. Stephen meant a lot to me with my recovery, and to think about it being him... I don't know. It's a weird feeling"

"How come you never talk about it? About Stephen or your recovery?" I asked, hoping I would finally get answers to some of the questions that have been burning a hole in my brain.

"It's very personal.. and scary. It's hard to be that vulnerable. Plus a lot of it isn't good memories and it hurts to rehash them. I really should get back into therapy... but I don't have the funds for it right now"

We finished up with our lunch, and found ourselves sitting in Logan and Cynthia's living room.

"Nova is getting so big! It makes me miss Captain and Dakota" Leighton pouted, throwing a ball for the growing Rottweiler.

"Wow! You don't miss Bentley?" Cynthia asked in a tisk tisk tone.

Leighton rolled her eyes and pet Nova on her head, kissing the side of her face.

"I still want a dog" She grumbled and I chuckled.

"You can't afford a dog" I reminded her and she shot me a glare.

"I didn't ask if I could afford it. I said I wanted one"

"Would you get a Rotty?" Logan asked, grabbing a tug rope from Nova.

"I'd like to think so, but I dunno"

Every time I sat in their living room, I felt weird.

Not an uncomfortable weird, or an I want to leave weird. But like when you sit down and people watch weird. It's almost like I'm watching a scene on a TV show.

I swear anytime Leighton is around Logan, he's the only person who exists.

She truly did look up to him so much. You can just tell by the way she looks at him.

He hung the moon for her, and I would be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous that something would happen to him.

Somehow I had spaced out just enough, that when I came to, Leighton was doing some weird stretch, laughing at Nova before having Logan help her up so she could go pee.

What did I miss?

"What just happened?" I questioned, chuckling like I knew what happened, trying to make it look like I didn't just zone out for 5 minutes.

"Leighton was stretching out some of her sore muscles, and Nova wanted to play" Cynthia laughed, rough housing the playful pup a bit.

We hung out at Logan and Cynthia's for about an hour or so before Leighton and I made our way to a maternity store.

"Everyone's gonna think you're the dad" She giggled and I rolled my eyes.

"Do you like this?" She held up a dark blue dress and I shrugged.

Are you even allowed to give pregnant women an honest opinion?

"Words Cole. I'm almost 30 weeks, Aaliyah was gonna take maternity photos. I got to find some outfits" Leighton informed me and I nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable.

There were so many pregnant mannequins...

Leighton tried on a few dresses, and whilst I was waiting, I collected photos for an Instagram post.

Last week we were all bored and found ourselves at a farmers market, so our camera rolls were full of each other doing or wearing weird things.

I posted a 4 slide post on Instagram of Sam, Kat, Stas, Leigh and I from the Farmers Market and right as I hit post, Leigh walked out.

"Holy shit" I murmured.

"You know, when I said find words, those weren't the words I meant" She smirked, flaring out the end of her dress. "Whaddya think?" She asked, spinning a little to look in the mirror.

She was in a dark blue dress that hugged her bump perfectly. Stunning lace details were on the plunging neckline. The bottom flowed out as she checked herself in the mirror.

"You look gorgeous Leigh"

"You like it? I need to look at some other options. If I get a blue dress, I also want a pink dress" She spoke, staring at herself in the mirror.

"Here, let me take some photos and a video, and I'll show you" I took out my iPhone again, opening up the camera app. "Give me your best model pose"

Leighton cradled her bump, turning to the side a little bit, her long dark hair cascading down her back.

"You look stunning Leighton" I took a few pictures before telling her to give me a spin.

We repeated this process a few times with different dresses.

She ended up choosing the dark blue one along with a flowy pastel pink one.

I texted her the photos and videos, carrying the bags for her.

"You're starting to waddle" I chuckled, watching her walk in front of me.

"Shut up"

"It's cute!" I called out and she flipped me off, causing a few looks as I laughed.

"Google told me I wouldn't waddle till 32 weeks, so you better shut your mouth!"

"When do you turn 30 weeks anyway?" I asked, quickly catching up to her snail pace.

"Monday, the 26th"

"Damn Leigh! You're almost there" I shook my head in disbelief and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm about to be put on bedrest for real" She grumbled and I laughed.

"Your hands and feet are super swollen" I noted, looking down at her hands.

"Shut up. I retain fucking fluid like a fish" She grumbled and I laughed again, lowkey loving this side of her.

"Fish retain fluid?" I asked, making fun of her and she smacked my arm, waddling farther away from me.

"Do you want to go to Target with me? I need to pee before we leave" She said, and when I didn't reply, she turned around. "Colby?"

"Hm? Sorry. I was watching you waddle" I laughed and she shot me daggers.

"Stop watching me waddle! I'm not waddling!" She declared, and I wasn't able to stop myself from the grin on my face.

"It's not my fault!" I chuckled and she rolled her eyes. "Here, walk and I'll film you. You can see yourself waddle" I offered.

"Shut up. Target, yes or no?"

"Huh?"

"GOD! Do you listen? I need to get nursing bras from Target. Target's bras are comfy. I also need to pee. So whilst you think about your answer, I'm going to go pee" She waddled away towards the mall bathroom, leaving me alone.

I sat on the bench whilst I waited, texting the "Baby Shower" group chat.

Sam and Kat had wanted me to get paints for Leighton's belly, and Aaliyah wanted to know how Leigh was doing.

By the time Leighton came back, we made our way out towards the car.

"Do you want to do an Instagram Live with me in the car?" I asked her and she gave me a weird look.

"Why?"

"I don't know, kind of bored" I shrugged and she faked offense.

"Am I not entertaining enough?" She asked and I chuckled.

"You are now that you waddle" I teased and she glared at me.

"You're going to regret making fun of me" Leighton called out and I just grinned, watching her waddle out of the mall.

We made it to the automatic door, and a few teenage girls walked in, passing us, but one stayed behind.

"Colby Brock?" She asked, slightly stunned and I grinned.

"Hey!" I spoke in a cheery voice, catching sight of Leighton waddling away.

"I'm going to the car! I'm sure by the time you're done I'll finally get there. Keys please" Leighton asked and I fished them out of my pocket, tossing them to her.

"It's so nice to meet you!" I greeted the girl, having a quick conversation with her.

I promised her that I would tell Sam she said hi before she announced she had to go.

"I better go find my friends before they notice" She giggled, thanking me and waving a quick goodbye.

When I sat in the car, Leighton was panting.

"You know... we have drinks in here" I motioned towards her raspberry lemonade.

"I know! Shush! My feet fucking hurt man! Shit hurts! Walking hurts! I'll pant if I want to fucking pant" She grumbled and I chuckled.

"You're going to be a joy in labor and delivery"

"You better shut your mouth" She grumbled, her hands pressing in on the sides of her stomach, taking a deep breath.

"What's wrong?" I asked, turning the keys into the ignition, taking a drink from my water bottle.

"The baby's fucking toes are wrapped around my fucking ribs" She growled, pressing harder into her sides.

"That can happen?" I asked, turning my head to watch for people behind me as I backed out.

"What do you think? God this fucking hurts" She groaned, stabbing her fingertips into the side of her ribs.

"Do you still care if I do an IG live?" I asked her and she glared at me.

"Why do you want to do that?"

"Because Katrina and Stas want to paint your belly, and I want ideas"

"Why can't you Google like a normal person?" She asked and I sighed.

"Because I want good ideas! Unique ideas!"

"Since when did they want to paint my bump anyway?"

"Since Kat was looking up baby shower ideas, and found maternity photo ideas" I told her, remembering the night Sam and I were waiting for food to arrive as Katrina talked our ear off about all the ideas she had.

"If she had ideas, why do we need to go on live?" Leigh asked and I groaned.

"You know Leigh, if you didn't want to go on Instagram Live, all you had to do was say no. We didn't have to play 20 questions" I told her, slightly irritated.

"What if I wanted to play 20 questions?" She shot back, causing me to glance over towards her.

"Since when do you want to play 20 questions? I thought you hated boring conversation?"

"Since when did I say I hated boring conversation? And are you saying playing 20 questions with me would be boring?" She asked, amusement dripping off her cocky tone.

"Oh, so you would love to engage in a boring conversation? Did I tell you about that time Sam and I went fishing back in Minn-" I started and she groaned.

"Okay, okay. Shut up"

"Can we please go on Instagram Live?" I asked again and she groaned, grabbing my phone from the console.

"Passcode?"

"Why would I tell you my passcode?" I questioned and she gave me a weird look.

"Because I told you mine, and because you want me to do an Instagram Live with you"

"Hand it over" I muttered, stopping at a stoplight and quickly typing in my passcode.

"Live is starting in 3...2...1" Leighton announced, holding my phone up.

"You know, you need to invest in a pop socket" She mumbled, setting my phone down as she grabbed her lemonade.

"Leighton, my followers don't want to look at the ceiling" I chuckled, glancing over at her.

"And my baby wants lemonade. They can wait"

"Remember, what goes in, comes out, and we got 30 minutes in the car" I reminded her and as she put the cap back on.

"Shut the fuck up. You're gonna make me have to pee!" Leighton spoke in a high pitched annoyed tone, picking my phone back up.

"Hey guys! Sorry about that!" I apologize on behalf of my ex-roommate, watching a car switch lanes.

"Someone wants to know what we are doing" She muttered, pressing her fingers back into her ribs.

"We are on our way home, and I was bored! I'm sorry for Leighton's sour mood. She isn't feel too good"

"Colby! We are not on our way home!"

"Where are we going?" I asked and she groaned.

"Boys. I swear! Target. I asked if you wanted to come with me to get nursing bras. I'm taking it that if we are going home, the answer is no? The least you could do is wait in the parking lot" She grumbled and I sighed.

"Are we going to fight on Instagram live?" I asked and she glared at me.

"I'm in pain Colby. You wanted to go live. Am I supposed to be happy when I'm in pain?" She asked and I sighed. "Does anyone know how to get a fetus's toes out of your ribs?" She asked them, jabbing her fingers harder into her side.

"You're going to get a bruise"

"Colby shut up"

"Take a shot every time Leigh tells me to shut up" I laughed, Leighton rolling her eyes.

"He's making fun of me! Be on my side" She tried to reason with the fans which made my heart beat quicker.

"She's waddling now! She deserves to be made fun of" I laughed and she huffed.

"I'm in my third fucking trimester you dick. Of course I'm going to waddle! I'm carrying a fucking baby in my stomach. No fetus, no opinion!'

"It's actually no uterus no opinion" I told her, quoting Friends.

"Colby shu-"

"Shut up, I know" I rolled my eyes, Leighton reading off some more Instagram comments.

"Someone wants to know info about my baby, and someone else says that being on all fours and stretching into downward dog should help the ribcage thing. Thank you for the advice, but in case you missed it, I'm trapped in the car with this loser for 30 minutes"

"20 minutes now" I corrected her and I felt her pinch my bicep.

"HEY!"

"Shut up"

~

"Did you guys get paint?" Kat asked the second we walked in through the front door.

"Fuck!" I groaned and Kat glared at me.

"I gave you one job Colby!"

"We got distracted by dress shopping!" I defended myself, motioning to the very pregnant girl waddling to the bathroom.

"How am I supposed to paint her stomach without paint?"

"Don't look at me!" I put my hands up in surrender and she turned towards Sam, who held the same pose.

"YOU GUYS HAD ONE JOB!" She yelled, clearly frustrated.

"Why don't you and Sam go? I'd say go with Leighton, but she's extremely irritable"

"We know, we saw your live" Sam laughed

"Someone needs to tally up how many times she told you to shut up" Kat laughed and I rolled my eyes, pulling my phone out of my pockets.

"Remind me to never have her baby" I muttered as I sat down next to Sam on the couch.

"Oh, you were thinking about it before?" Kat asked and Sam shook his head.

"Leave the poor boy alone" Sam teased and I ignored them, scrolling through my texts with Jake and Brennen.

"I have been! It's time to bring it back! Plus, his Tinder thing isn't working out. Colby, how do you feel about being a father?" Kat asked, my head snapping quickly to look in her direction.

"Kat cut it out. You know it's not like that"

"Then what is it like? Cause it looks like to me, that you chose to hate her, to ignore the fact that you actually felt something stir deep inside of you when you saw her in that doorway, and now you find pleasure in her telling you to shut up. Do you know how many times you asked her things or did things just to hear those two silly little worlds fall from her precious lips? I bet you think about them. I bet you think about kissing her, touching her, being hers... going to tell me I'm wrong Colby?" Kat asked, her eyebrow cocked.

"You're wrong" I told her, staring her dead in the eye and her head tilted.

"You sure about that?"

"As sure as I am that if you tell me one more time that I'm in love with Leighton, that I will pack a bag and go over to Brennen's for the week" I spoke in a serious tone and a huge grin took over her face.

"No one said anything about love!" Kat spoke in a "I told you so" tone.

"That's it. I'm going to pack a bag, see you guys in a few days" I grumbled, standing up and throwing them a peace sign, quickly climbing the stairs.

"Colby!" Sam yelled, but I ignored him. "COLBY!" he shouted again, and I heard Leighton ask him why he was yelling just as I closed my bedroom door, plopping myself against my bed.

Fuck

* * * *

Written on: may 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th 2022

Word Count: 4.4k

Part Thirty Six

#colbybrock #samgolbach #samandcolby #youtubers #katrinastuart #wattpad #colbybrockimagine #samgolbachimagine #solby #stasiavuu

[boringbodywithacrazymind]

09/29/23 Friday

Lord have mercy on this day for real. Since I started working I earned very little money, but I wanted to bring my kids to Starbucks since they've been asking for awhile. In order to get Starbucks it meant that we needed to get up early, and luckily the girls got up early. We got Starbucks and somehow got to school on time.

I arrive at work and I come to find I forgot to grab my lunch bag that has my breast pumps in at home. So I call Ricardo (BD/hubby) right away and NO ANSWER. I call him multiple times and still no answer. I call my mom and ask if she could pick up Richie (our son) and my breast pump and bring to work so I could feed him and then pump later. She waits practically an hour for Ricardo who continues to not answer his phone. During this time, she keeps texting me how she is stressed and worried and to give Ricardo excuses and I am like O.o???????? Ricardo and Richie are sleeping and if can't hear you knock again he/they are sleeping and they are sleeping in the room which is far away from the front door. So.....wym? I'm sorry you waited, but there is no reason to be so "worried" to be freaked out. Then my dad makes contact with me like "is everything ok?" "what's going on" , "how/where are the girls and Richie?".

Mind you I am at work my dad is at work. My mom does not work and right now Hubby is watching over his son. All the time in fact. What can the people who are at work do for you to be comfortable enough to cause drama? What is my dad going to do? Kill the battery on my phone? He's at work. Stop bothering and making my dad worry as if something is wrong. Like dude wtf is wrong with you?

I tell him everything is okay, Ricardo finally calls me back and after going back and forth when they could literally talk to each other and at this point I am so over it. Like I am not going crazy at work cause it's so busy.

Mom finally shows up to my job and I am able to breastfeed and talk to my mom for a little bit; about Manong and his issues at home that Mom does not know about (I was very vague, all I said was that he was mad and needed a sister to talk to since him and Manang Jerily aren't talking): she told me to tell him "just call her" like she is the solver to all the problems. Like no ma'am you're one of our biggest stressors. Anyway.... -_-

I call Ricardo and see that Richie is with him. I thought she would want to keep him for the day, but clearly like I have always said she was not meant to be a mom and is not capable of Caring for my kids. She only does it because she like the attention and validation.

Dad calls me around 4PM after my mom texts me "Nakong, kids want me to ask you if it's ok wd you for them to come wd us tonight sa church (play wd their friends) and sleep wd us. Kung ayaw mong matulog sila dito, just say so ihatid naming dual ng mag 10. Among say mo?".

I replied, "No church tonight mama. Are they home?"

"Wd us yes. Want me to bring them home now kc I'm cooking"

"I can pick them up after I'm done with work"

Dad calls me basically calling me disrespectful because I said their house stinks. I ask him how was I suppose to say anymore nicely their house stinks when I have been saying that for WEEKS. The house is freaking disgusting. It's way too dirty for someone who does not have a job. No wonder why they are sick all the time. Instead of going around taking people who can't do anything for you or be there when you need them; or listening to people who dupe you, OR being told to go somewhere you have no need to go like camping on your grandchild's birthday...............just cause your son called you to go. I am just so frustrated with them it's making me physically sick. I just need help with the girls getting picked up from school. Literally fuck everything else....girls are hungry? Cool there's food at home. They are not starving. They are not pitiful cause they go home hungry.

I am just so over the unnecessary drama. Go away bipolar ass.

#familydrama #parents #grandparents #bipolar #mother #children #marriage #family #husband #love #work #babysitting

[abigail-pent]

TLT Theory Redux: Secret Doors and Heists

gather round the fire, children, for I have finished my third reread and I have theories to spin. they are interconnected. they will also take the form of "a listicle, kind of". This is not as tightly written/cited as I hoped it would be, many thanks to tumblr for eating the first version of this post.

THEORY #1: HARROW WAS RIGHT

About what? Probably lots of things, but specifically about the secret door. You remember Harrow's "secret door theory," right? On GTN p. 303, Harrow and Palamedes are having an argument about what is going on in Canaan House. Harrow makes fun of Palamedes' idea that there is such a thing as a Lyctoral megatheorem. Pal lightly mocks Harrow's "secret door" theory, about which she says:

"But all this is more than unsustainable, Sextus. The things they've shown us would be powerful -- would bespeak impossible depth of necromantic ability -- if they were replicable. These experiments all demand a continuous flow of thanergy. They've hidden that source somewhere in the facility, and that's the true prize."

The action picks up pretty quickly after this, and you just sort of forget about Harrow's theory since Pal's theory is so quickly proven correct. It's set up to make you think these theories are competing, but they're not. Harrow and Pal are both right.

Proposition 1: An entrance to the River -- or perhaps the part of the River on the other side of the stoma -- is hidden under Canaan House.

Evidence for Proposition 1:

1A) On GTN p. 191, Teacher says, about Silas siphoning Colum in the facility: "He cannot empty anybody here, lest they become a nest for something else!" This is highly reminiscent of HTN p. 98, when Mercy says: " A Lyctor's body, empty, with its battery intact but nobody in the driver's seat? Do you know what could take up residence? Anything could get inside you -- any horrible or evil or lonely thing, any miserable revenant, or worse." These two places are described very similarly; they may well be the same.

1B) I'm missing the citation, exactly, but I'm pretty sure it's textual that the first time the Lyctors + John ran from RBs, they ran by dropping into the River. Quite possibly from Canaan House itself.

1C) Teacher. We know he hates the water (GTN p. 325), we know he was created for the "sole purpose of safeguarding the place" (GTN p. 373). Of course, the whole place is surrounded by saltwater.

1D) When Ianthe and Cytherea are fighting and Canaan House is disintegrating, "brackish water from the fountain spattered across the floor and trickled into the cracks" (GTN p. 418). It's been well established already that 'brackish' is the word used to refer to River water. It's also the word used to describe the water that emits from Colum's mini stomae when he dies (GTN p. 393). Why is the fountain water brackish when other water in Canaan House -- for example, the pool -- is saltwater? Seems like a clue!

Proposition 2: Whatever is behind the secret door is the source of John's power.

Evidence for Proposition 2:

2A) During the big confrontation with John in HTN (p. 478-479), Augustine's suspicions echo Harrow's from GTN p. 303, when she's describing the secret door theory. He says:

"You've offered us explanations for everything over the years. But -- some of them didn't hold up on examination . . . It was the power I could never get my head around, you know? I follow power back to its source, John. It's the skill you asked me to perfect. And the longer I looked at yours, the less things added up."

Leaving aside for now the fascinating question of why John would ask Augustine to cultivate this skill, he goes on to ask:

"You're God, John. But -- as the Edenites are fond of pointing out -- you were once a man. So whither that transition? Where does your power come from? Even if the Resurrection had been the greatest thanergy bloom ever triggered, it would drain away over time. And then Mercy said to me -- in a moment of true Mercy vileness -- she said, What is God afraid of?"

Proposition 2.1: The source of John's power is not exactly Alecto, but is Alecto-adjacent. Alecto is from the space behind the secret door.

2.1A) Alecto is called a saltwater creature (HTN p. 328).

2.1B) The oldest parts of Canaan House are where the power emanates from (citation needed, but I’m sure it’s there). They are also the parts closest to the sea. As Teacher says (HTN p. 110): "The base of Canaan House dates back to before the Resurrection. We first built upward, to get away from the sea; then we built outward, to strive toward beauty."

2.1C) The Sleeper is identified with Alecto. Like Alecto, she carries a weapon, she sleeps in a coffin, she can’t be killed, and the River bubble crew is warned that the worst and most cataclysmic thing in the world would occur if she were ever to wake up (HTN p. 112, 185). Since the Sleeper is so clearly identified with Alecto, and is also identified as the presence that’s haunting the River bubble version of Canaan House, it suggests the connection between Alecto herself and the physical version of Canaan House.

Proposition 3: John has dammed the River underneath Canaan House by trapping the Earth Resurrection Beast there.

3A) Per HTN p. 43, we know there's one missing RB, since 9-5=4>3.

3B) Abigail thinks something is messed up in the River and it's dammed, and spirits cannot get across. On HTN p. 396-397, she says:

“A spirit can be trapped, trapped as every spirit in the River is trapped . . . I think there is a whole school of necromancy we cannot begin to touch until we acknowledge its existence – I think these centuries of pooh-poohing the idea that there is space beyond the River has stifled entire avenues of spirit magic, and I believe the Fifth House is waning entirely due to us reaching a stultified, complacent stage in our approach . . . Something has gone terribly wrong in the River, Harrow, and I wish you’d find out what.”

She’s describing a dam in the River that traps ghosts there. This is extremely consistent with what Teacher tells Harrow about what’s down in the facility (see 3E).

3C) On GTN p. 213, Cytherea suggests that "something has been lurking [in the Canaan House facility] forever", and when Harrow insists that "[A spirit] cannot sustain itself", Cytherea replies: "But what if one could?" We know that Resurrection Beasts are revenants, and a revenant is a type of spirit; and if any spirit was going to be self-sustaining, it would be an RB.

3D) HTN p. 172: "The card up the sleeve of the revenant, and the Resurrection Beast, is that it can inhabit anything it's got a connection to. Anything thanergetically connected with their death." So what killed Earth? Climate change, plus a massive nuclear fission chain reaction. Historically, early nuclear fission chain reaction tests took place underneath the ground (see, for example, the facility at the University of Chicago). So an underground or underwater facility could very well be thanergetically connected to the death of Earth.

An RB may very well be a continuous source of thanergy; and if this is the case, John may want to kill or neutralize the other RBs to keep other people from rivaling his power. Or better yet: harness the other RBs the same way Earth's RB was harnessed.

3E) On GTN p. 152, Teacher literally tells Harrow that the ten billion are haunting the facility. Harrow says she is “repeating exactly – to the word—what Teacher said to [her]”:

“Down there resides the sum of all necromantic transgression. The unperceivable howl of ten thousand million unfed ghosts who will hear each echoed footstep as defilement. They would not even be satisfied if they tore you apart. The space beyond that door is profoundly haunted in ways I cannot say, and by means you won’t understand; and you may die by violence, or you may simply lose your soul.”

For those of you following along at home: ten thousand million = 10,000 x 1,000,000 = 10,000,000,000 = 10 billion, or the exact number of people who died in the Resurrection. This is of course completely consistent with the Earth RB being down there, somewhere in or under the facility, because the revenant of a planet includes the spirits of every living thing on it when it was murdered.

Proposition 3.1: Alecto is one of the physical anchors for the Earth RB.

3.1A) HTN p. 454: “The only sure way to banish a revenant is to destroy the physical anchor it inhabits before it can escape the shell.” If John’s cavalier is the physical anchor for the Earth Resurrection Beast, which is the source of his power, then this would justify the characterization of Alecto as the “death of the Lord”: if she’s a physical anchor and she is destroyed, then so is the source of John’s power.

3.1B) She was the first Resurrection, and it’s plausible that she would be thanergetically connected to the death of Earth.

3.1C) HTN p. 495: Pyrrha notes that the stoma “must think [John] is a Resurrection Beast.” Which is a super interesting mistake for the stoma to make! But if John’s cavalier is a physical anchor for a RB, this mistake becomes more understandable.

Proposition 4: The other side of the stoma is not a trash space, and John actually can access it. He uses it as a battery for his necromancy. It’s a storage space for RBs, and now I guess for Lyctors too. (this is the most galaxy brain proposition, and evidence is slim)

4A) On HTN p. 340, John says: “It is a portal to the place I cannot touch -- somewhere I don't fully comprehend, where my power and my authority are utterly meaningless.” But this is the kind of shit John lies about on the reg, so take what he says and apply opposite day rules.

4B) if the other side of the stoma is related to the River Beyond, it would be to John’s advantage to keep the Fifth House scholarship from treating the River Beyond seriously (see 3B). If they don’t take it seriously as a branch of scholarship, they can’t learn anything about it, and they can’t let the RBs out from where John is keeping them.

4C) this could be why John condemns soul siphoning (GTN p. 340). If soul siphoning sends the cavalier’s soul to the other side of the stoma, and the power that floods into the empty body is from the other side of the stoma, then soul siphoning threatens John’s monopoly on use of power.

This brings me to Theory #2, born out of a delightful discussion with @mayasaura: the heist in ATN is not going to open the Tomb at all. Instead, it’s going to open the part of the River underneath Canaan House, and the goal is to free the Earth RB. After all, the Tomb has been open for seven years already.

Extant questions:

1) Mercy seemed so sure that the RBs were coming back and targeting Alecto in particular. But Alecto stayed in the Nine Houses, and didn’t get eaten by any RBs, and the Ninth House is still there. So why does Mercy think Alecto is a target, or makes the rest of them into targets? If she was lied to, what is the purpose of this lie? 

2) Why does John want Augustine to hone the skill of following power back to its source?

3) If RBs eat Lyctors and both RBs and Lyctors are in the hammer space on the other side of the stoma, then, like… hey Augustine and Ulysses… are you guys ok??

#tlt meta #tlt spoilers #locked tomb spoilers #locked tomb meta #gideon the ninth #gideon the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers

[allandoflimbo]

Ashens (Part 21)

Summary: She falls in love with Bucky Barnes from the moment she sees him. Bucky, still in love with a woman from his past, hates Y/N and plans to make her life miserable. To both their dismay, they are assigned together to go undercover into The Capitol for six months. There, they develop a heartbreaking friend with benefits agreement. Dystopian.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 4,800

Chapter Warning: Smut. Strong language. Non-consensual elements, but not non-con.

Rating: M for Mature, E for explicit. Enemies to lovers trope, sharing a bed trope, friends with benefits trope, temporarily unrequited love, heavy and angry sex, heavy on the angst, and very strong language.

Full Masterpage |

Too many things have been different lately.

Between the both of you, there had been too many silences just like this, but this time it was different.

It was different because you knew your kiss with Pietro had affected Bucky. This time the silence was because Bucky was upset.

Back at the anti-climatic ball, after your meltdown with Pietro, you both spoke for a few more minutes before you excused yourself. Pietro was disappointed at your sudden departure, but he nodded, not digging any further. Before you’d left he had given you had address and he told you you could stop by whenever you wanted. He reminded you to stay safe with a kiss on your forehead.

He didn’t pry and you appreciated that. You put your ear piece back in and Bucky had taken extra long seconds to reply. The rest of the night his responses were one worded.

You both ended up finding Silas and Ashen’s men by the corner of the bar. You had eavesdropped and was able to confirm that the delivery tonight was for a tested cure for the virus and it was going to be administered to Ashen’s son, Ashens.

It was going to arrive at the back alley way at nine, but it wouldn’t even be administered until tomorrow afternoon. Ashens would be transferred from the tower to his home.

“We’re done here.” Bucky’s voice had come from your ear piece.

“What? We’re barely done.” You responded.

“Tonight is just the delivery. What I’m interested in is tomorrow. I’ll have to stake. Let’s go home.”

“Buck-“

“Meet you back where we were.”

beep.

The short walk to your hotel had been silent. Awkward.

You knew he had heard you. You were glad he did.

He deserved to know you had a choice in this. He also deserved to know you deserved better.

But what bothered you was that you knew the kiss bothered him but he was too proud to admit it to you.

You needed him to tell you. Him glooming was not doing you well.

Bucky had been frozen to the spot as he overheard you on the other end. He could move or breathe as he heard Pietro kissing you, as he heard you moaning for another man.

He could feel the blood pumping in his head along with the sudden feeling of pure regret.

He felt regret at not taking the initiative that he should have. He knows he has no right to feel the way he does right now, but he does. He feels the heartbreak and the jealousy over you kissing someone that wasn’t him.

He had been wanting to the last two weeks. At first, he had held himself back, now allowing himself to go down that path of intimacy, but it had began to get harder.

Bucky was going crazier for you, bit by bit.

He knew what you two had was only physical, and he knows he has no right to feel the way he does especially with how he had pushed you away, but he regrets it all.

He regrets the way he handled it.

What killed him the most about Pietro kissing you though, was the fact that Pietro was clearly a better guy for you.

Something Bucky could never be.

Not that you even wanted him anymore.

It took him two months to finally want you for more than sex and you had moved on.

He couldn’t speak to you. Not when it hurt him so much. Not when you drove him crazy the way you did.

He could still feel his heart beating just as quickly as it had an hour ago. What he felt around you didn’t even compare to how he felt around Daisy.

His relationship with Daisy had been carefree and easy.

You were a hurricane.

He wishes he could tell you everything he’s feeling, but he knows it’s for the best that he doesn’t.

You both take the elevator up to your room, silently. His eyes stays on the floor, his hands in his pockets.

Look at me. You think to yourself. Tell me what you’re thinking.

After walking through the door to your room, you turn around to face him.

You couldn’t see his face. He had been quick to avoid you and he was already turning the other way, making his way towards the bed.

The bed where he took your heart many times and squeezed it his fingers.

Little did you know that you had been doing the same to his.

His silence was overbearing and your heart tore at his facial expression.

He didn’t hold that blank look he usually held when he didn’t want to show emotions.

This time he bared it all for you. His face was fallen and he was trying his best to keep it down.

You hated this silence. You hated the lack of communication that complicated this relationship.

You and Bucky no longer made any sense.

This wasn’t sex without feelings. This was far from it.

You had expected to gain so much more after your kiss from Pietro - freedom and strength. Instead, you felt confused.

He was still quiet and the tension in the loft was thick.

“What are we doing?” You asked breathlessly, breaking the ice and literally mentioning the elephant in the room.

What was this?

You watched as he loosened his black tie from around his neck, pulling it up over his sharp jaw and head.

“I don’t know.” He says quietly. His voice sounds broken, life he was on the brink of giving up.

He sits down gently, and the bed sinks down with him.

He reaches down and removes each of his dress shoes one by one. He does it slowly.

You walk up to him and stare down at him in a clouded daze of mixed emotions.

He’s stopped and reluctantly looked up at you, eyes pausing at your hands for just a moment first.

Your face showed him that you were begging him to communicate, begging him to get off his chest what he needed.

It hurt you that he couldn’t do it.

Again, he was unhappy about your kiss with Pietro and you needed him to tell you why.

Bucky’s eyes fell back to the floor and he blinked away whatever it was.

He pushed off his jacket started unbuttoning his white dress shirt.

“Go to bed, sweetheart.” He says with heavy emotion in his voice. It almost breaks off at the end with how much feeling he puts into the words.

His term of endearment shocks you to the core. Your heart swells deep within your chest. This is the first time since you’ve met him where he’s ever used this tone and addressed you this way before.

You’re gaping as you watch him continue to unbutton his shirt. His fingers were meticulously. Somehow in a dystopian and near apocalyptic word he still kept his nails trimmed and perfect.  

Something so small that could go unnoticed but that said so much about his personality.

You find yourself moving closer until his knee is touching your left leg.

You feel the heat of his body radiating off yours. You reach down and touch his hand, stopping him from unbuttoning.

He stops and swallows hard.

He could feel the heat of your fingers on his own and it makes him ache inside.

What’s happening to me?

“You want to know why I kissed him?” Bucky’s gaze stays on the floor. He doesn’t respond. No I don’t, “I wanted my first kiss to be with someone who didn’t take it for granted. For the first time, I wanted to be the one who made the correct choice,” you let go of his hand, “but you already knew that, didn’t you?” Bucky inhales deeply and returns to undoing the last few buttons. Bucky shakes the shirt off his shoulders and then stands up to go hang it in the closet. He walks right past you, not saying a word. You close your eyes tightly together, “Talk to me.” You beg.

You turn around as he’s hanging the shirt on one of the hangers.

His jaw is tight. You can tell his teeth are clenched and he’s holding whatever he wants to say, in.

He moves onto his dress pants, removing them until he’s in his boxers, and then he pulls out a pair of grey sweats, slipping them on.

He grabs a black T-shirt and puts it on, too.

He walks past you, still not looking at you.

Without thinking, you reach your arm out to grab him, and he stumbles back like you’ve burned him. You’re shocked at his reaction and your eyes go from your hands to his own eyes.  Your heart shatters immediately.

He gapes down at your hands and you can see the fear and intense sadness in his eyes.

You take a step closer to him and he gulps as you slowly bring your hand up to run over his hard torso and eventually up the side of his neck. He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth to keep it from trembling.

You look up into his eyes as you play with the short hair on the back of his neck.

“Please.” It’s the first time he’s also begged you in such a small voice. His eyes close halfway as he whispers, “Please, no.”

You feel the need to comfort him; to comfort this man who has done nothing but hurt you the way he’s hurting right now.

You grasp the back of his neck with your whole hand, shaking your head to yourself as you do so. His head hangs low, eyes still closed.

“I’m not doing anything,” you whisper, “what are you so afraid of?” He opens his eyes and looks away from you. He lifts his head and looks out towards the window behind you. He reaches behind his head and takes your hand, pulling it off his skin.

“Please, let’s go to sleep.”  He says softly.

You watch in a daze as he spins around and walks down the hall and into the bathroom.

He needed a moment to breathe. He needed a moment to catch his breath and think.

After splashing his face with some cold water and brushing his teeth, he walks back into the room to see you already changed into a pearl colored silk camisole.

The edges graze your thighs as you crawl up the bed and towards your pillow.

The water did nothing to help him.

He still kept hearing the way you moaned as you gave away your first kiss.

All to get a reaction out of him.

Bucky flicks off the remaining light in the loft, his lamp, and crawls into bed next to you.

He pulls the comforter up until it’s halfway up his chest and he pulls at his hair, look up at ceiling and letting out a long breath.

If only you knew the affect you were having on him. If only you knew how much he cared about you.

Your mind was else where than his.

You felt a need for vengeance. You needed him to hurt. Just like you had told Pietro, you couldn’t let him do what he was doing to you anymore. He needed to respect you and if he wasn’t going to own up to his feelings and finally speak to you, you were going to move on.

You had Pietro now, anyway.

So you had a plan.

“I want you to fuck me.” You say quietly, looking out the window.

There’s a long pause before he replied.

“I’m not having sex with you tonight.” He tells you in a quiet voice.

You flip around until you’re staring at him. He’s on his back, looking up at the ceiling, a far away look in his eyes.

How dare he be the only one to make the choice?

You spread your legs a little wider and reached down between your legs. You reached under the band of your underwear and cupped yourself.

You kept staring at the side of his face, silently asking him to look your way. He didn’t budge but you could tell he knew what you were doing. If your soft moan and the shift of the bed was any conciliation.

He blinked and swallowed thickly.

This was all he was good for now. He lost his chance and your respect, and all he was now to you was a human dildo.

As much as he wanted to tell you how he changed his mind about giving it a try and as much as he wanted to tell you how he was starting to feel, part of him was still afraid. He was afraid of his emotions getting in the way and of him losing you.

Especially when you now had a chance to be happy with someone else; someone so much better than him.

As much as he wanted your touch and your caresses, he needed to push you away. Push you into the right direction.

You were hurting him and you didn’t even know it. Him pushing you away when he needed you, pained him.

You let out another moan. He closes his eyes, turning his face away from you.

You were hurting him.

“Please, y/n.” His voice came out in a whimper.

You removed your hand from yourself, half sat up, and looked down at him. He still had that same sad look in his eyes.

Two can play that game.

You sensually dragged your fingers that had just been on your core over his bottom lip. You watch him for a reaction.

His eyes flashed to yours, stunned at your move, and you stared at your fingers on his mouth just as shocked.

Was this what anger pushed you to do? Vengeance?

You found yourself panting as you continued to touch his lips.

Slowly, he grabbed your hand. You could see what was only the lingering of tears in his blues.

There it was.

“You fucked me nearly every day for the last two months. And the one time I want you to fuck me the most, the one time, you say no.” you say quietly. He swallows thickly, “you’ve used my body for two months,” your voice shakes and he blinks, his eyes burning, “I’m just asking you to do it again. As a friend. It’s not that hard, right?”

You could feel your own words hurt in your throat at your words.

You slowly lean down, laying half your body on top of his. He closes his eyes, sucking in a shaky deep breath. You lean down until your face in the crook of his neck, on his pillow.

Bucky gulped at the proximity, feeling his heart race like mad.

“If you can’t say what you want to say, if you’re too weak for that, you can at least show me using your body.”

You ran that same hand that was touching yourself down his neck and over his chest. You find the bottom of his shirt and you slide your hand underneath, feeling his hot skin.

“I don’t want to do this.” He whispers, pained.

He almost changes his mind when he feels your hand change direction, going under his sweats.

But you stop just below his navel.

As much as you wanted to convince him and push him off the edge, you also didn’t want to breach the line of consent.

Your touch was so gentle it burned through his skin and Bucky took it in. He closed his eyes tightly together, a soft cry leaving the break of his lips.

He was crying.

You lift your face from his pillow, looking down at him to watch.

He wasn’t sobbing but there was definitely tears leaking from his eyes. One drop runs down the far corner of his eye.

He lets out a long shakey breath, still looking up at he ceiling. You feel his left hand grab the back of your head and he rubs your head. You feel his legs widen slightly and you wonder if it’s an invitation for you to continue.

The proximity of your faces shocks you when he turns his head to the side to face you.

You can feel his breath hitting your face. And you lips are only inches apart. You watch him in awe as he continues to rub your head, his eyes searching yours as another tear leaks from his blue orbs.

He rubs his nose against yours, suddenly wanting to give you everything.

When you finally take him in your hand, Bucky’s eyes close together tightly. You give him two slow pumps before you maneuver yourself so you are laying on top of him.

He watches you in a daze like you’re a siren and he’s a pirate who’s been summoned.

You stretch your hands over next to his head, taking his in your own. Your camisole is pushed up to your waist and you sloppily kick off your underwear.

He leans his head up until it’s in the crook of your neck.

“Not like this.” He says quietly. You don’t know what’s he’s talking about. You continue pushing his bottoms down until the back band is under his ass and until you see his length slip out. The tip is already oozing pre cum, now dropping onto his black shirt.

You feel the need to pour all your emotions into this fuck.

You swirl your hips and rub down until your folds are sliding over his tip, the velvety skins touching each other like two pieces if expensive silk.

Bucky involuntarily bucks his hips at the feeling.

You let out a delicious moan.

“What are we without sex, Bucky?” You whisper, breathe hitting off his forehead, “This is all we’re good for, can’t you see that?” You grunt, sliding down until he’s half sheathed inside of you, “You’ve only treated me horribly, since the day I met you. You’ve never once gave me the chance to gain your honor, oh fuck, but this, this you always knew how to take from me, to give me—“

“Stop,” he begs, breathing harshly into your neck.

“You might be a great fuck and a good friend, but you’re not a good person.” You continue to fuck yourself on his rod, rubbing your nose against his as your harsh breaths mingle together, “but that’s okay,” you put your left hand on the side of his neck, rubbing him tenderly there, “you’re good for this.”

A struggled and very loud moan escapes Bucky’s throat and you feel his right hand go to your waist, stopping you.

You put you hand on his, releasing its grip, continuing to move over him.

You watch as more tears fall out of Bucky’s eyes, his eyes snapping to yours.

“You’ve gotta stop.” He whimpers.

You can’t tell if he’s talking about the things you are saying or the fucking, but he’s a super solider and you know that if he was talking about the sex, he would’ve had more than the strength to fully stop you by now.

You purr as you look down between your legs.

“Look how perfect your cock was made for me.” You say. Bucky moans, looking down with you, his own hips pushing up to meet your down stokes, “that’s it. You hate me, don’t you?” Bucky’s hips falter and his eyes snap to your face.

“Wha—“

“That’s right, you do. I deserve this. I deserve your anger, right? Never did anything bad to you a day in my life but I still deserve it.“

Bucky was close to edge seconds ago, but with each word you’re saying, he feels the need to correct you and he no longer want to cum anymore.

This was wrong. Everything about this was utterly wrong.

“You don’t, y/n—“ He tries to tell you before you cut him off again.

You’ve never felt anger like this. Never.

“Fucking fuck me, Bucky. For just one night pretend I’m her, fuck me like I’m her.” Bucky’s heart falls hard into his stomach and he sits up, stopping.

“Stop.”

“Please.” You beg through clenched teeth, “you’ve already made me suffer enough finish the damn job.”

“Stop!” He shouts, grabbing you by the waist and pushing your off of his body.

He looked shocked as he stared down at you, his still wet tears running down his face.

“Are you serious?” You say back to him as he stands up.

He’s running his hands through his hair, pulling on the strands as more tears fall out of his eyes.

His mouth opens and closes a few times as he stares down at you, still at lost for words.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” He shouts, stumbling back.

You take a note of how his cock is an angry red, bobbing up against his belly. Catch you, he pulls his boxers and pants up all the way.

“Did I say something that triggered you?” You ask through heavy pants. How does it feel to be on the other end? You want to add.

He’s breathing hard too as he watches you. His face was crest fallen and broken.

He looks you up and down, sniffing.

“You’ve gotta stop this,” he whispers harshly, his volume growing with each word, “whatever it is you’re trying to do.”

“What am I trying to do?”

His face crumbles.

“You’re purposely trying to hurt me!” His yell stuns you, “It’s hurting me!”

You’re both trying to catch your breath as you stare at each other. “All night that’s what you’ve been doing. You think I wanted to hear you kissing him? You think I want to fuck you like this? You think I wish it went down this way?” His voice becomes a whine. He closes his eyes and looks away from you running a hand down his face.

You tilt your head as his last question.

“What went down what way?” He lets out a pained chuckle, “What way, James?”

“Forget it Im sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“What went down what way?!” You shout, banging your fist down on the bed, “You tell me right now or I swear to fucking god, Bucky, I am walking out that door right now and never coming back. I’m giving you a chance right now. Im giving you a chance to make this right.”

Your mini lecture gives him enough time to catch his breath and compose himself. It finally dawns on him and a look of disgust fills his face. He tilts his head at you.

“So that’s what this was? So that’s why you fucked me just now? To persuade me into a fucking guilt trip? This borderline non consensual—”

“—Don’t be dramatic.”

“And then you talk about you feeling used. I’m just a guy, Y/N.”

You both stared each other down. You suck in a deep breath as you take the hair tie from around your wrist and begin to tie up your hair into a bun.

“I’m so fucking over you. I really am. I was lying about the using me for sex part. It’s obviously the only time we ever communicate anyway. I do get that out of it.”

“Yeah that makes me feel so much better,” he reaches down to grab the pillow and before he can take it, you grab it, “give me the damn pillow.”

“Stop closing up on me.”

“Give. Me. The. Pillow.” You don’t budge, “I don’t have the patience for this. Especially after you almost jeopardized our entire mission with your little stunt today. Which was reckless and completely irresponsible by the way.”

“Stunt?”

“Please, you put on a fucking show as you stuck your tongue down his throat just so I could hear and then you turned off your damn ear piece. This is why I’ve always said you’ve always been a girl who acts on emotion. Give. Me the pillow.”

“You’re lying.”

His eyes twitched.

“What?”

“That’s not the deal reason you’re upset. You’re upset because I hit a nerve.”

He seethes, looking you up and down again.

“Look. What you did here tonight was the lowest of the low.”

“You don’t communicate.” You say.

“What do you want me to say, sweetheart?”

“I want you to tell me why me kissing him bothered you so much you couldn’t say one damn word to me.”

“It doesn’t matter why it does or doesn’t bother me." “Of course it matters. It means something.” “It means shit. Just because it might bother me on some level it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop you from being happy, okay? You want to go ahead and kiss and sleep with other men, that’s you doing you. We were never exclusive.” “Sure so that’s why you overreacted so much —”

“—You didn’t even give me a heads up! We had sex just an hour before you told me you were going on a date with the guy, y/n.”

“And that’s what made you cry?” After that question it goes silent. He avoids your eye and attempts to take the pillow again, “Bucky. Please.”

He licks his lips and looks up at you.

“I can’t tell you what you want to hear because it doesn’t matter anymore.” He tries to take the pillow again and this time you let him. He hooks it under your arm.

“Are you going to sleep there because of what I did to you?” He looks up at you and then looks away. He reaches over you to take one of the throw blankets, “Bucky?”

You reach over to touch his face and he flinches at first. This makes you pull away first.

“I didn’t mean to scare you or make you feel like I was taking advantage of you.” You whisper.

He looks down at your lips.

“I might be a super soldier and an ex assassin but I’m still just a man.” He says quietly. You nod, reaching for the back of head, and pulling him into you for an embrace which he gladly accepts, "You can't do that again."

He leans his forehead on your shoulder, inhaling your sweet sent.

“Please stay here tonight.”

“Okay. I’ll stay.” He gives your shoulder a kiss, “I’ll stay. I’ll always stay.” He assures you as he feels you trembling beneath him.

He pulls away, cupping your face as he does so. He looks down at you and you share a silent conversation.

This was different.

This time, he’s the one who rolls your dress up until it’s bunched around your waist.

You’re both breathing quickly as you watch him push his sweats and boxers down.

You whimper at the sigh of him, and he guides you a little lower, but you’re still halfway sat up. He runs his right hand from your core up the inside of your left thigh, widening yourself for him.

He’s knelt down between you, his lips still lingering over your shoulder. He grabs your right thigh and pulls it up so it’s bent feet down on the bed. His left hand goes to your back, right over your bottom.

You whimper again when you feel him drag his cock over your clit over and over again, and then finally down your soaking slit. His nose hits the side of yours and you’re both staring deeply into each others eyes.

“I got you,” he tells you, “I got you.” He repeats, sliding into you. His thrusts are steady and hard. He watches your face as you gasp and moan, your right hand going into his hair and pulling on it. You’re both like that for about three minutes until he lays you fully back onto the bed.

He watches as you unravel below him and he can’t imagine not living like this anymore. He doesn’t remember what he even did before you entered the picture. He doesn’t want to.

He stretches his arms around on either side of your head, keeping his thrusts steady.

“Fuck.”

“I won’t stop.” He tells you breathlessly.

You clench around him and this makes him groan loudly.

He feels his end approaching embarrassingly fast and he reaches down to give your clit some flicks.

On the fifth flick you come undone and he follows you right behind, cumming inside of you. Your legs wrap around him like a vice and he falls on of you. Both your hands run through his hair as he breaths harshly into your neck.

He doesn’t pull out of you this time and you don’t let him.

This time he falls asleep in your arms.

For you, it’s the last time.

I won't hide the ways I've tried It's just not right, it's killing me tonight

@snakeeatery17 @utterlyhopeful-fics , @marvelfan1017, @iheartsebastianstan , @annathesillyfriend , @redhairedfeistynerd, @perksofbeingabookworm, @amyrose051, @meegggoooo, @morganclaire4 , @captainchrisstan, @bxndys , @shoesonpointe ,  @writerwrites, @rainbowkisses31, @lindatreb , @littlemissner98 , @dezzylou24, @ayeitslelee , @hardygal69 ,  @emmabarnes , @redbarn1995@thequeenreaders@ilovemysupersoldiers@maximumplaidzonknerd@ceapa-mica @s-trawberryv-eins@buckysknifecollections@sobangie@lindatreb@theseuscmander@nervous-plant @wildmoonflower @aya-fay@appreciating-fanfics@kaitlynisinfinite@justreadingfics@kaitieskidmore1 @mrsdancing​ @everythingiloveandcherish @shinykoalacat

#bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes smut #bucky barnes #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #Bucky Barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #Bucky Barnes series #tfatws fanfic #tfatws fanfiction

[lovelyisadora]

Marcia and sarah being friends is EVERYTHING to me do u have any thoughts 👀👀

I also hc them as becoming friends? Friendly? Not long after fyre and marcia starts spending a lot of time in sarahs garden bc it's Quiet and no one thinks to look for her there and also it's nice to just. Talk to someone who's not alther or septimus

this has been in my inbox forever im so sorry here you go. i have so many thoughts and marcia absolutely needs someone to talk to who isnt dead or a literal child.

· they hesitate to call themselves friends. it’s not that they dislike each other. they just don’t have common interests and they have different parenting styles. sarah is a coddler and marcia is—well, she’s not a coddler. they didn’t know each other well as young women either, nor did they at the time respect the other’s choices to have a either a career or children. but now they co-parent a traumatized little boy, and while there are snags the first few months, they get used to each other soon enough. most importantly, they do not undermine the other’s decisions where septimus is concerned. they know he needs both of them.

· sally apologizes to sarah at one point for ever thinking silas was stepping out on her with marcia and sarah cannot stop laughing because the thought is ridiculous. whatever the fuck is up with her husband and marcia, it is not romantic and never will be. words don’t begin to describe their relationship, but sarah respects it.

· sarah takes one look at marcia in the aftermath of dungeon number one and says, you know, I don’t think this woman is okay. she’s never really interacted with her before now. everything she knows about her comes from silas and while she loves her husband dearly, he has a tendency to overreact and overexaggerate where marcia is concerned. but she knows he trusts her, knows he loves her, and sarah cannot be anything but thankful that marcia sacrificed so much to keep her children safe. so, when they are all at aunt zelda’s, sarah observes. marcia puts on a brave face but she is very much not okay and it’s clear. she knows she isn’t likely to talk to her if she asks, so instead she brews marcia a sleeping draught to keep any nightmares at bay and presses it into her cold hands. “don’t abuse this,” she warns, and that is that.

· the more marcia attends heap family dinners the more she tolerates the boys’ antics, usually amused by them. but if she’s ever not amused, sarah steps in at once to direct the boys’ attention elsewhere and get them to bother someone else. marcia always quietly thanks her.

· sarah doesn’t question her son’s attachment to marcia. it does hurt sometimes, but she is just happy that he has someone, because for so long he didn’t. she tries not to get so cross with her when septimus doesn’t have days off because she knows marcia is struggling with a lot right now, but sometimes she just can’t help it. to make up for it, every time she visits the tower to steal her son away for family time she brings marcia something to eat, under the guise that it’s for septimus because she doesn’t trust her to feed him properly. it isn’t true of course—the only person sarah does not trust her to take care of is herself

· they decidedly do not speak about simon with each other. sarah knows that silas has spoken about their son with her, but she can’t do it. she doesn’t know where to begin. she faults herself for all of it. but years later, after simon has been forgiven and is himself again, sarah tries to approach her about it only to have marcia dismiss it as if her son trying to murder her is nothing. it isn’t nothing, and sarah had started this with the intention of apologizing on simon’s behalf (which is not necessary, because he’s already apologized himself), but she ends it by scolding marcia about caring so little for her own well-being until she has marcia promising to be better

· in the vein of apologies, after the darke domain is dispelled marcia wordlessly sits sarah down to check that she is okay, that there isn’t anything darke clinging to her, similar to how sarah had sat her down just months ago to make sure the jinnee set on slicing her throat hadn’t nicked her. once she’s certain sarah is in the clear, marcia apologizes for not explaining the extent of the situation earlier. she had not meant to come across as she did. sarah is quiet for a long moment. she knows marcia isn’t one to ever apologize for anything, but the misunderstanding wasn’t entirely her fault. she tells marcia that she perhaps did not need to jump to conclusions as quickly as she did, and they leave it at that.

· sarah works very slowly, subtly, and patiently to get marcia to trust her, to the point where marcia just ends up in the palace gardens one day, lost amongst the forget-me-nots. marcia is clearly bewildered to be here, as if she doesn’t know why she’s here, but sarah knew this would happen eventually. she wordlessly hands her a cup of calming tea and sits across from her.

· sarah is absolutely the reason why marcia finally gets therapy, and while she’s still reluctant to see a doctor for how poorly she’s healed from dungeon number one, she is willing to try sarah’s home remedies since the sleeping draught works so well.

· no one is expecting them to be friendlier to each other. silas only plays at being horrified. secretly he’s very happy they’re getting along. septimus is happy too. he didn’t even realize it was a fear of his that his mothers wouldn’t get a long, but that dissipates the second he’s in trouble with both of them, because now they’re more on the same page than ever.

· as septimus gets older and older, they stop hesitating to call themselves friends. they are friends, full stop, and they have frequent teas together in the palace gardens. they still don’t have anything other than septimus in common, but they always have something to talk about and it isn’t always jenna or the boys.

#septimus heap #sarah heap #marcia overstrand #listen okay these women deserve to respect each other and be friends #i hope no ones forgotten that i have lots of thoughts because im back baby

[anunvalidcritic]

Justice League: Snyder Cut

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Oh, the time has come my friends! Now, I originally did a review on Batman V.S. Superman and I didn’t care for it, so I deleted it. But before I start, I would like y’all to read this statement made by @verified-villain-fxcker - You can click HERE to read it. As I stated in my repost, I couldn’t have said it better. May Autumn Snyder continue to rest in peace. Let’s get started!

It’s been so long since I’ve made a post I can’t even remember how I do this LOL.

CLARK is outta there to say the least...

WONDER WOMAN and LOIS look flabbergasted, as they should... BRUCE as well.

Talk about a shock-wave scream 

All jokes aside, the hate that LEX has towards SUPERMAN is just to much energy to be giving to another person..

THESE BITCHIES ARE READY

why are they letting a minority approach the fucking the cube?!?!

*insert travel montage scene here*

                      Part 1 - “Don’t count on it, Batman.”

BRUCE knows damn well he’s talking to AQUAMAN. Let’s move this shit along lol

“Oh Gotham? How’s that shit hole?” - AQUAMAN

Ik these bitchies aren’t singing rofl

I’d sniff anything wore by Jason Momoa too.

“Maybe a man who broods in a cave isn’t cut out to be a recruiter.” - ALFRED

TALK YO SHIT ALFRED!!!!

AMY ADAMS can literally take my heart, step on it, throw it in a river and I still wouldn’t be mad. 

Here comes the lovely WONDER WOMAN!

broooo her hands were moving like Donnie Yen in Ip Man!

Fucked that entire ceiling up

Ofc the one who tried to touch it would make the stupid statement. 

STEPPENWOLF is really wildin’ out

Don’t look back! I hate it when they look back!!

These are some strong as women!

                             PART 2 - “The Age of Heroes”

“It’s toxic, that’s good.” - STEPPENWOLF

I can only imagine that this is how toxic people think. 

this dude really just threw that lil demon fella like it was nothin’ lmao

You know you're working at a job for too long when you say this is the first time in a while that they're going home early smdh

Now that shit was pretty lit....

SILAS thinkin’ shit I better check on my son. 

“You know a lot about monsters, don’t you? Especially how to make them.” - CYBORG

If that isn’t teen angst, then I don’t know wtf is lmao

Seeing Gal in this tomb makes me want to re-watch Wonder Woman 1 all over again!

DARKSEID ol’ trifflin’ ass

plopped him down like he was dirty laundry

God bless Willem Dafoe, this man is a fuckin’ legend!

“This world is divided. They’re a primitive species. Unevolved and at war with one another. Too separate to be one.” - STEPPENWOLF

DeSaad kinda looks like Doctor Doom in the Fantasic Four reboot lmao

GREEN LATERNS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

we really need a Green Lantern Corps moving...

ZEUS + ARES = A Dynamic Duo When They Aren’t Being Dicks To Each Other

You know I feel bad for man because all they did was bury that shit in the ground rofl

                  Part 3 - “Beloved Mother, Beloved Son”

BARRY + IRIS = Love at First Sight 

The burger can’t be that good like damn. 

Bro the detail on his fucking shoes and the glass!!

ROFL PLEASE TELL ME HE TOOK THE HOTDOG FOR HIS DOG!?!? 

damn did the car really need to explode...

lol BARRY must really need the job lol

... I would’ve just played dead after he threw me against that rock...

Man of Steel probably has one of the best soundtracks not just for a superhero movie but just in general

Americans love their football!

I have this love-hate relationship with CYBORG being in the JL and not with the TITANS you know since he’s a kid, but he’s a college student in this one. 

Thank God DIANA spoke with VICTOR instead of BRUCE because I honestly don’t think he would’ve gotten him on board.

Everyone can literally zigzag zoom across this planet at undeniable speed except for BATMAN lol

Come on, VIC, help the lady out.

You know honestly, BARRY has a pretty cool pad for someone who's trying to get by paying for a Criminal Justice Degree. 

“A very attractive Jewish boy. Who drinks milk, I don’t drink milk.” - BARRY

“Fuck the World.” - CYBORG

dang Ik DIANA has every right to grieve over STEVE, but damn that man has her whipped!

“You’re looking at the hottest thing on Earth. The exact same thing I said to my prom date. She dumped me anyway.” - RYAN CHOI

Why does MERA have an accent in this but not in AQUAMAN?? (ik the answer)

DAAAYYUUUMMMN MERA TURNED INTO A WHOLE BLOOD BENDER!

                               PART 4 - “Change Machine”

CYBORG just glided over silently

STEPPENWOLF + WONDER WOMAN = EPIC FIGHT SCENE

Seeing BARRY move like that to stop the debris and to ping DIANA’S sword really is amazing..

But he should not be screaming like that LOL

How do you not remember the planet that’s habitants almost killed you?? Because if that was me, I wouldn’t have forgotten that shit at all!

 Would've held a big ass grudge until I could go back. 

“I know we’re all thinking the same thing right now. Who’s gonna say it? I’m not gonna say it.” - BARRY

WOOOAAHHH J’ONN JONES?! (forgot about that)

 “There are six, not five. There is no us without him.” - BRUCE

Damn, no faith at all 

                         PART 5 - “ALL The King’s Horses”

ICONIC DIALOGUE

BARRY - “Wonder Woman. What do you think, man? You think she’d go for a younger guy?”

VICTOR - “She’s 5,000 years old, Barry. Every guy is a younger guy.”

I would’ve kept swippin’ that ID like a cashier at Wal-Mart swippin’ a debit card.

They're movin’ a little too slow for me. Ik they’ve never been on the ship before, but I would’ve been zoomin’ through that entire ship just to hurry and get the job done. 

NOT THE PREGNANCY TEST

Damn, they couldn’t have at least picked up the photo??

The foreshadowing was spectacular! It will always amaze me. 

I’m sure Allstate will cover that person’s car...

Just when LOIS was about to move on. 

CLARK grabbed DIANA like miss me with that Rafiki shit.

I would’ve come back to my senses too after looking at Amy Adams. 

AQUAMAN + THE FLASH = A CONUNDRUM

DR. SILAS takin’ one for the team

                              PART 6 - “Something Darker”

As crazy as radiation is, it’s quite an amazing spectacle.

I wish this Justice League movie could’ve held off until we got some other heroes such as the Green Lanterns, Hawkgirl, and many others. 

Our generation was truly blessed to have an incredible actor as SUPERMAN, and we are not putting him to use!

JONATHAN sounds like President Biden lol

Alright, team?! Break!

AQUAMAN is totally enjoying this fight. He rode that Parademon like a surfboard.

AQUAMAN + CYBORG + FLASH = *THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN*

I swear every scene that WONDER WOMAN enters into does not fail to include the “Ancient Lamentation Music”. 

VICTOR hurry up and say “one” god damnnit!!

SUPERMAN COLD!!!!

Somebody needs to put this fight on WorldStar

BARRY = HE’S A RUNNA HE’S A TRACK STAHHHHARRR!!!

THAT WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

The Unity  = The Three Bitchies

I bet DARKSEID will remember that shit now

                        EPILOGUE - “A Father Twice Over”

VICTOR = A Final Requiem

LOL VULKO and MERA look stressed tf out!

“Uh, I have too much to live for. And more important things to do.” - LEX

A cocky motherfucker LMAO

Alright, we’re back in this type of dream sequence. 

“Who have you ever loved?” - MERA

Uh, bitch his parents, Robin tf?!

Thank you, JOKER, for stating the facts for Ms. Fish-stick

 Oh shit, they let LOIS die, goddamn it!

HARLEY’S DEAD TOO?!?!?!

BRUCE LOOK SICK AF!!!

Well, the dream is over once again...

I just don’t see how people can live with all those fuckin’ windows. 

“Oh, and some have called me The Martian Manhunter.” - J’ONN

Alright...

________

Yes, the movie was long but what needed to be expressed was. As we already the Snyder Cut wasn’t supposed to be seen because a father simply wanted to grieve the death of his child. I’ll once again reiterate what @verified-villain-fxcker you don't have to like the film but at least give it the benefit of the doubt from its predecessor. For me, I did enjoy watching his version, but let’s be honest what he who shall not be named did was just fucked up. 

#RIP Autumn Snyder #Justice League snyder cut #zack snyder #cyborg #the flash #batman #aquaman #superman #Wonder Woman #hbo max #lois lane #amy adams #ray fisher #ezra miller #ben affleck #jason momoa #henry cavill #gal gadot #dcu #dc comics #jk simmons #Alfred Pennyworth #jeremy irons #lex luther #jesse eisenberg #jared leto #the joker #dc

[rjhpandapaws]

Hellloo Panda!! One more ask from me for your lovely 160 follower event. Could we please do the “Party” prompt for canon-verse Allen60?

I wanna read about these two getting together at a DPD houseparty. It could be one of Gavin and Tina’s frat-style ragers or it could be one of Fowler’s awkward dinner party/ wine appreciation sessions - whichever is sillier in your opinion hehehe

Thank youuuu✨✨✨

//I love this idea thank you. Also! You can send as many as you would like

Allen found himself watching Sixty quite often. At the precinct or compound he had the ruse of being his superior and he wanted to be sure Sixty didn’t break or break anything else. Now, at a New Years party for the Station there was no reason to be staring at him. Keeping an eye on him maybe, he had a penchant for getting into trouble and he and Gavin liked to fight, but not staring, not like this. Allen didn’t know Sixty’s thoughts on the matter, but liked to consider them friends. They talked often, and while Sixty’s mind tended to focus on work he would indulge Allen in other conversations as well. It was nice. It didn’t explain the staring though. The one thing he could find to blame it on was the change. He was used to seeing Sixty in his Kevlar or his work blacks. He had never seen him in a suit it was unusual. That wasn’t to say that Sixty wasn’t usually put together. Honestly he almost always was. He was the only person who would come out of a raid without a hair out of place; which he supposed was easy when your hair wasn’t much more than a projection. It was just odd to see him trying Allen supposed. Sixty did what made sense, as all androids tended to do he supposed, and usually that meant staying in his work blacks. When the announcement had said work attire was allowed, Allen had been expecting to see him in those, not a full three piece.

The worst of it though was he had been talking with Jeff, he was the host after all, and then had just stopped dead when Sixty had come in and now he was only half paying attention to what was being said. They had gotten work talk out of the way so he was mostly coasting by on small talk, which probably wasn’t a good plan in the long run. He pulled his eyes away from Sixty and turned his attention back to Jeff; he was not inclined to express how much effort that took; only to find his fellow captain looking at him with a knowing expression. “Your neck would probably have a better night if you went over and actually talked to him you know.” He remarked dryly. “Try as you might, its pretty clear he’s a favorite of yours. Tonight isn’t so much a work function as a social one, talking to him won’t hurt anything. “Jeff, I can’t.” Allen protested, “This is different then at the compound. If he’s branching out finally it would be rude to but in.” “Do it or I will. There are three androids in a building with Gavin, how do you think tonight is going to go?” Jeff said dryly, “I would like it better if one of the events wasn’t a goddamn fist fight.” “So you want me to make a fool of myself to break the tension?” Allen pressed.

“I want you to talk to your friend and maybe circumvent a fight in the process.” Jeff replied, “I never said you had to be honest with him. What you tell him is your business not mine.” “Very helpful Jeff.” Allen remarked, “What I am going to do instead is go outside and have a smoke.” “I thought you quit.” Jeff said as Allen turned for the back deck. “I’m trying to, but it comes and goes.” Allen replied before he stepped outside. He lit his cigarette and leaned back against the house and took a drag as he looked out into the yard. He thought about talking to Sixty, but he didn’t know what to talk about outside of work. Their two weeks always matched up and he didn’t know what Sixty did outside of work, if he did anything at all. It was odd to consider them close without knowing much about him, but someone could only save your life so many times before you felt something, be it a connection or awe. Allen’s issue was that he didn’t know which he was feeling. He knew he enjoyed Sixty’s company, but he didn’t know if it was out of respect or because he liked him on some level more than he should of. At risk of sounding like the android consuming his thoughts, there was just too much unaccounted for to come to a conclusion. Why was it the suit instead of his work blacks that had him questioning this? Was it even the suit, or had that just been the tipping point? He didn’t have answers to any of those and it was infuriating. He should be enjoying the party, not overthinking this, but he couldn’t bring himself to go back inside without some kind of answer to his question.

“So this is where you wandered off to.” Allen startled at the sound of Sixty’s voice. He and Connor sounded very similar, Sixty’s voice just had more of a sarcastic lilt to it than Connor’s did. “I was looking for you.” “The crowd was getting to me and a needed to step out for a bit.” Allen lied, well it wasn’t quite a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. “Captain Fowler said you wanted to talk to me about something?” Sixty continued and Allen wanted to back in there and start a fight himself. “Did he?” Allen took another drag from his cigarette, “And he said it was a private matter as well didn’t he.” “He did.” Sixty agreed and Allen saw him nod out of the corner of his eye, “Are we supposed to be investigating someone? Did I miss the briefing, I know I was late but I didn’t think that two minutes and fifteen sec-” “Its a personal matter Six, you didn’t miss anything.” Allen said before he could spiral out of control. “Have I done something wrong?” He sat down and Allen turned to face him letting out another puff of smoke as he did. “No Six. Jeff is just meddling like he always does.” Allen said, “Part of it is because he delights in seeing me miserable and the other part is that he doesn’t want you and Gavin getting into another fight.” Sixty laughed, “That’s fair. We broke something last time. So what’s bothering you?” “Its not so much that something is bothering me, its more that I’m stuck.” Allen elaborated, not missing the way Sixty looked him over for a moment before it dawned on him that Allen hadn’t meant it literally.

“How do you mean?” He asked, “What is it?” “I’ve been thinking about how I really don’t know anything about you outside of work.” Allen admitted, “I consider us friends, but I don’t really know all that much about you.” “There isn’t that much to know. I live at the compound and if I’m not on my two weeks I’m usually in stasis.” Sixty replied without hesitating, “Sometimes I meet up with Nine Hundred and Connor, but most of the time they would rather be with their detectives. But for what its worth I consider us friends as well.” Allen had a lot to unpack in what Sixty said, but he found himself smiling, “So you just stay at the compound? There’s nothing you would rather go do?” “Its easier if I’m there to respond if I’m needed.” Sixty replied, “Not particularly. All the Station events are for social appearances only, and a lot of your culture seems to have that air of just doing it to be observed about it, and that doesn’t interest me.” “So there’s nothing you’ve been curious about?” Allen pushed. “There are somethings, but I can usually learn them from Nine Hundred or Connor.” He replied, “Though I find there is a pleasant hum in my systems whenever you tell me about what you do on your weeks off rotation.” Allen laughed, “My life is nothing glamorous.” “But that’s exactly it. I am unable to get the same rush of survival that you do from working this job as you do so it’s nice to hear how much you enjoyed marathoning a show or catching up on a book.” Sixty explained, “I don’t have a reason to or a way to enjoy the mundane in that same sense because this job isn’t a risk to me. Its something I only get from you and its nice.”

Allen was staring and he knew it. Maybe Jeff had a point, what happened tonight didn’t have to be official. No one outside of them needed to know. He had also come to the conclusion that the suit had only been the breaking point. What he liked was Sixty, and apparently his mouth decided he needed to know that. “I love that about you, you know.” Silas looked at him for a moment, his LED blinked yellow a few times before he smiled, “You do? Here I thought it was the suit. You were staring at me all night.” Allen became aware of several things at once. One of them the blatant reminder that Silas was a top of the line android, and therefor would know if someone was staring at him. He probably heard Jeff talking to him; and perhaps Allen himself hadn’t been as subtle as he would have liked. “Humans have a tradition of kissing the person they plan to spend the year with correct?” Sixty asked, “Do you think the powers at be would be upset if we did that a little early?” “No.” Allen said with a smile, “I don’t think they will.”

@asset35-maya

(Prompt from this list)

#Canonverse short #Allen60 #dbh allen #dbh sixty #dbh fic #dbh #160 follower ask event! #ask panda #panda has all the answers!