#skz fan fiction

[writeonwhiskey]

the skz house: ch 6 (18+)

a/n: happy new year, everyone! you guys made the end of 2023 so unbelievably positive for me with your comments, reblogs & likes. thank you sm!! 🩵 huge thank you to @cloverstayy for the below graphic! she's on insta & tiktok under the same name.

Summary: Welcome to Sigma Kappa Zeta, the most popular fraternity on campus. When you, down on your luck and looking for a place to live, see their ad for ‘IN-HOUSE STAY’. You're one of the four girls chosen and find that your duties for the rest of the school year will be cooking, cleaning, and pleasing your assigned house members: Hyunjin & Bang Chan.

[ read chapter five here ] [ skz house photo book ]

Chapter Six: Of Joy Rides and Hot Tubs

You don’t have class on Thursday so you’re free to wake up when you want. Chan is gone by the time you do, and it’s only 10:00am. He doesn’t have class until late afternoon so your thoughts immediately drift to where he may have gone so early. You would have liked to see him. You wonder, if after last night, he would have smiled at you or shown you any sign that things might be different moving forward. 

It’s a silly, fleeting thought. Having sex with him doesn’t change anything. Even though he granted your plea of treating you good, he still kept his boundaries firmly in place after your shower. You were curious if he would allow you to sleep in his bed, naively hopeful about it even as you finished putting on your pajamas. However, when he got situated under his sheets and bid you goodnight, he made it abundantly clear you were not welcome there. 

Down in the kitchen and still in your pajamas, you snack on a granola bar as some of the others prepare to leave for classes or wherever they’re going—Seungmin has his baseball bag slung over his shoulder and invites you to come watch him practice later. He’s still on your shit list, though, so you’re not overly thrilled about it…but it’s an option if you have nothing better to do.

The house falls quiet again when all the commotion has ceased and you make your way back up to the second floor, to Hyunjin’s room. 

His curtains are drawn, keeping most of the morning light at bay as he sleeps. You walk around to the side of the bed and consider waking him up, cocking your head to the side as you gaze down at him. Even with his blonde hair all over the place, he looks so peaceful and handsome and perfect. His plump lips are pouted in a way that makes him seem absolutely adorable. Sleeping Beauty, who?

Without second guessing it, you slide on the bed next to him.

He peeks open an eye at the movement and smiles lazily when he sees you, causing your heart to flutter. 

“Mmmm, she’s back,” he murmurs sleepily as he wraps his arms around you—one under your head and the other around your waist—and pulls you close, nestling his face in your hair. 

He throws his leg around yours, holding on to you as if you are his own personal body pillow. Your body relaxes in his embrace and you instantly let out a soft sigh. You are content enough to stay in this position with him all day. His steady breathing lets you know he’s drifted back to sleep so you try your best to be still and not disturb his slumber any further. 

Laying on your side, staring ahead at the sight of your empty bed, your mind starts to roam and reflect on the chaos you endured over the past week. Seven days ago you were literally sitting on a curb trying to figure out where you were going to live. And throwing yourself into the SKZ house was a well-timed distraction. You were together with your ex for almost three years, and hadn’t even given yourself time to fully process your break up. Maybe because you knew it was coming…your priorities were no longer aligned, and his eyes had started to wander, his attention and affection wavered. In hindsight, you should have been better prepared for it.

You did love him, though. So the pain of him telling you he thought it’d be best if you lived apart for a while (meaning you getting the fuck out of the apartment), is still brewing inside of you. The anger derived from that pain also makes it easier to cut off your feelings for him. But you hadn’t truly considered being with anyone besides him and now here you are…having fucked one man last night and now in bed with another this morning.

You’d experienced more sexually in three days than you had in the past three years. Dominance, submission, lust, need, desire. You were pushed out of your comfort zone and you liked it. But the most troubling thing for you to wrap your head around is the lack of compassion surrounding these new sexual exploits. You’ve never just fucked someone you weren’t in love with. So how do you detach the actions from the emotions that course through you every time you see Chan? 

You can’t deny that you’re attracted to him—that you like the way he teases you, the way he makes you yearn for his touch just by looking at you. Yet, you still don’t understand how you feel about him, or if you should bother feeling anything at all. 

Cuddled up to Hyunjin—whom you’ve essentially known the same amount of time as Chan, only further adds to your confusion. Clearly it could all be this simple but Chan seems hellbent on making sure you know he views you as an object, a tool at his disposal. Chan very much still feels like a stranger in all aspects outside of sex, whereas Hyunjin feels like someone you’ve known for a long time. Someone that gets you—that respects you. He’s the only thing of comfort you’ve been able to rely on amidst the raging emotions trying their best to consume you when you’re with Chan. 

Hyunjin doesn’t even know how much you need him to just exist right now, and he’d probably think you were crazy if you told him. You place your hand on his arm and bring it from your waist to your chest, he squeezes you closer to him in response, readjusting his body slightly. 

With him snuggled against you and these thoughts wreaking havoc on you mentally, the rise and fall of your chest quickens and before you can stop it, tears are streaming down your cheek as the weight of the past week hits you like a Sparta kick to the chest. You try to keep quiet, to wipe your tears before they fall to his arm, but there’s too many and your sniffling gives you away. 

Hyunjin stirs and lifts his head up, peeking over your shoulder. When he registers that you’re crying, he slowly blinks his eyes open to really look at you. His hand hugged to your chest moves to your face, turning it towards him. You try to resist, shaking your head, wanting to hide your face in the mattress. 

“Y/n,” he says softly, voice still groggy from sleep. 

He turns your entire body around so you’re facing him and cups your cheek, wiping your tears away with the pad of his thumb. His attempts are futile—each time he wipes, a new trail is formed. 

“Gwenchana?” he says, warm brown eyes searching yours. “You okay?”

You don’t know what he’s said, why he’s said it, or if he’s still half asleep and not realizing he’s speaking Korean but regardless, the gentle, caring concern in his tone fucking breaks you. 

A sob escapes from your lips as you squeeze your eyes shut and press your face to his chest. He holds you around the waist with one hand and the other strokes the back of your head.

Even with how good Chan made you feel last night—desired in a way you’d never imagined—you still slept in your bed alone, all the while wanting nothing more than to still be close to him after how much of yourself you’d given to him. To be in his arms the way Hyunjin is holding you now.  

You can’t hold it in any longer, and here in this room, you don’t feel like you have to. He just let’s you cry, face against his chest, hands pulling at his shirt. You feel safe here. You want to stay in his protective embrace.

You don’t know how long you spend sobbing against him, but he doesn’t let go of you the entire time. When the sobs and tears finally stop and you regain control of your breathing, he leans back to look at you. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You chew on your bottom lip and shake your head, unable to meet his gaze. 

“Not really,” you say, sniffling and wiping at your eyes. “It’s just been a lot—with the breakup and moving here and Chan and you.”

“Okay,” he replies with a simple nod. 

He holds on to you tightly and quickly moves you up and over him so you're now laying on the opposite side of the bed. 

“That side is for crying—this side is for happy y/n,” he declares.

You can’t help but laugh at his antics. You look down at his tear stained shirt and pull at the fabric.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “And sorry for waking you up like this.”

“Don’t be,” he assures you. And you believe him with ease. “You’re here for me as much as I’m here for you. In all ways.”

His words are sweet and honestly make you feel like you could start bawling all over again.

“What time is it?” You ask as a distraction, realizing you’ve left your phone in Chan’s room. 

“Who cares,” he shrugs.

“Don’t you have class?”

“Who cares,” he repeats. “Want to go do something?”

As much as you’d like to stay here in bed, in his arms, it would also feel nice to be anywhere but inside the house right now. 

“Sure,” you say after a moment. “As long as you’re back in time for class.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, we will be,” he doesn’t sound too convincing this time. He gives you one final squeeze before sitting up. He grabs his phone from the nightstand and checks the time. “We have four hours.”

“What do you have in mind?” You ask, sitting up.

“Nothing at all—I don’t do plans, remember?” 

“You’re gonna make me feel a different kind of crazy these next three days,” you joke.

“You’ll learn to love it,” he winks.

You slide out of the bed and find an outfit for the day. You immediately start changing in the room without thinking about it, but Hyunjin hasn’t seen nearly as much of you as Chan has. You peek over your shoulder and see he’s still sitting in bed, watching you with a smile. He pretends he’s been caught, averting his gaze around the room.

“Stop it,” you say with a laugh, pulling your pants up.

“I’m an artist,” he replies, “I have to appreciate good views. Commit them to memory for my work, you know.”

“Well, this isn’t a live model class—get up and get dressed,” you tell him.

“Yes ma’am.”

You pull on your t-shirt, then tell him you’ll be back in a minute. You make your way upstairs, to Chan’s room. You’re not sure if he’s home so you knock lightly on the door. There’s no response. You enter and retrieve your phone, tucking it in your back pocket. You take a moment to makeup your bed since you have no intention of returning to this room at all for the next couple of days. You also grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder before turning around to leave. 

You stop dead in your tracks when you see Chan, standing between the door frame, startling you. You put a hand to your chest to still your beating heart. How long had he been standing there?

When he takes in the sight of you, you catch a brief look of concern on his face—if you had blinked you would have missed it.

“I just came to get my things,” you say softly. 

As if you owe him any kind of explanation.

He remains silent as he enters the room, stopping just in front of you. He leans down a little, his eyes raking over your face carefully. It dawns on you then…how you must look. You can feel the tightness and puffiness of your eyes from crying earlier.

For a moment you think he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t. His lips are pressed together tightly as he gives a curt nod and steps to the side, allowing you to walk past. 

His silence feels worse than anything he could have said.

—————

“Have you ever driven one of these before?” Hyunjin asks, seated next to you in the passenger seat of the navy blue Tesla. 

You shake your head, still in shock he offered to let you drive. 

“Go easy on the pedal,” he says, buckling his seatbelt. 

You adjust the rearview mirror, groaning at the sight of your puffy eyes in the reflection. Even after gently washing your face and moisturizing, they still looked awful. 

Hyunjin opens the glove compartment, revealing several pairs of sunglasses. He shuffles them around, holds a few different pairs up to your face before deciding on one and handing it to you. He picks a pair for himself and puts them on as you do the same.

“Now we’re ready,” he looks over to you and you see his eyebrows wiggle above the frame of the sunglasses. 

You’re grinning widely as you reverse from the driveway, feeling happy and optimistic for once. Hyunjin controls the music as you drive, curating a soundtrack for your adventure. Neither of you have any idea where you’re going, which annoys the crap out of you. Hyunjin finds it amusing and starts telling you to take a left here or there. At one point he has you take four rights in a row, effectively sending you in a circle, or square rather. He claps his hands together, laughing as you swat at his arm and thigh in annoyance.

When the song “Broken” by We Are Fury & Luma comes through the speakers, you make him replay it a few times in a row—the two of you sing it together, “Give it away, like I always do. Watch you start to fade, one more heart to lose.” The lyrics hit you in special way today, but Hyunjin matches your energy as you both belt out the next part with your whole chest, “Got that sinking feeling like the bottom of the ocean, I’ve been here before, feeling every damn emotion.”

You drive and sing and talk. You’re almost able to forget about your sad, emotional outburst earlier. Almost. 

At one point you stop at a shopping center with a recently opened Halloween store to browse the costumes and pick up a few decorative items for the house. Well, it started as a few anyway. Hyunjin alternates between holding your hand and hugging you from behind as you walk through the aisles. He keeps you entertained with his clumsiness—screaming and knocking into displays when something scares him. Being with him makes you feel like a normal college student just hanging out with their crush—joking, laughing, flirting.

When you make a stop for lunch, you mention Seungmin inviting you to watch him practice and Hyunjin doesn’t mind the idea. You grab enough food for the three of you and head down to campus. You’ve never had a reason to venture to the baseball field before, but it’s quite large and empty aside from the players practicing. 

You and Hyunjin take a seat in the bleachers—Seungmin waves when he spots you two. You munch on fries and a burger as you watch them. Seungmin is far more serious on the mound than you’ve ever seen him. He looks like he simply belongs there, on the field and in his uniform, striking out a couple of team mates in a row. 

“Shit, I have to get to class,” Hyunjin announces, checking his phone. 

You hadn’t realized how much time had passed already. 

“Go,” you tell him with a nod. “I’ll catch a ride back with Seungmin or wait around for you.”

“You’ll wait for me?” He asks, batting his eyelashes at you. 

“Maybe,” you tease with a playful shrug. 

He stands up and starts to walk away from you before suddenly stopping. He turns back around to face you, leans down and places a kiss firmly on your lips. You’re startled at the sudden action, but you don’t shy away from it. You press your lips back against his.

It’s quick and sweet, but a wave of heat rushes through your body all the same. 

“See you later,” he says when he steps back.

You continue watching Seungmin for another half an hour until practice ends. He comes to meet you in the bleachers and you offer him the food you had ordered for him. 

You push your sunglasses down the bridge of your nose to look at him directly in the eyes, “It may or may not be poisoned.” 

“I have a strong immune system,” he retorts, tearing away at the wrapper of the burger and biting into it. “Did you like what you saw?”

“You’re okay,” you say nonchalantly, pushing your sunglasses back up. “When’s the first game?”

“In the spring. You gonna come watch?”

“Only if I can root for the other team,” you reply.

“That’s blasphemy.”

“Serves you right, pineapple boy.” 

He lets out a loud laugh at your remark. 

“Come on, it was a joke.”

“To you, maybe…Chan didn’t find it so amusing,” you tell him. 

“He actually does like pineapple,” he shrugs. 

“But not on pizza—you set me up.”

“I did,” he agrees. “It was funny.”

“Again…to you, maybe. And Changbin. I’ll get you back for that.”

“Oooh, I’m so scared,” he says, finishing off the last bite of his burger in record time. 

“You should be,” you tell him. “Sleep with your eyes open Kim Seungmin.”

“I always do.”

You roll your eyes. His sarcastic ass has a comeback for everything. 

You sit and talk on the bleachers a little while longer until Seungmin is ready to head back to the house. He walks you to the building where Hyunjin’s class is before taking off. You sit outside the building and wait, scrolling through your phone for a lack of anything better to do. When you look up and see Hyunjin finally walking out, he’s beaming when he spots you on the bench.

You stand to greet him, only just now realizing he went to class empty handed—no backpack, no notebook or pen, nothing. You could never imagine doing such a thing but for Hyunjin, it just seems fitting.

By the time you get back home, the house is abuzz per usual for this time of night. You and Hyunjin take in the decorations from the Halloween store and get to work putting some of them up with a few others as dinner is prepared. 

Everyone throws around ideas for the upcoming Halloween party, and it starts to sound more intense than you could have imagined. It seems like they plan to go all out with kegs, catering, costume contests and more. 

After dinner you lounge in the living room, seated around the coffee table with nearly everyone except Chan, Rhiannon, Changbin and Lee Know, playing Uno. Rhiannon and Changbin had excused themselves after making suggestive faces at each other the entire meal. The game causes a lot of commotion and outbursts but honestly it’s the most fun you’ve had in the house as a group yet. 

Felix claims to make the house rules, saying you can put a Draw 2 on a Draw 2, which is purely evil as he makes you Draw 12 cards at one point with a devilish grin on his face. 

By 8:30pm, Hyunjin is dragging you back upstairs to his room wanting to watch the next episode of the show you started Sunday, saying he’s been waiting forever to see what happens. 

You both climb into his bed, laptop in front of you and leaned together as you watch episode two. You’re at ease next to him. You readjust yourselves halfway through watching to get more comfortable, sitting with your backs against the pillows and the laptop resting on your left and his right thigh. He wraps an arm around you and you lean against him. You’re able to get in two episodes before calling it quits for the night. 

“You know I can sleep in my own bed if you don’t want me with you,” you say to him as you’re putting your dirty clothes in the laundry and make a note to do some washing over the weekend. 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

You shrug in response, as if you don’t know the reason you’re saying it involves the man on the next floor up. 

“In case you want your space or something.”

“No,” he replies cooly. “I get my space when you’re with Chan.”

He pulls back the bedsheets (specifically on the right, your happy side) and looks pointedly down at them then back up to you. You can’t stop the smile that creeps on to your face as you climb in bed next to him. 

“Fair warning I have to be up for an early class tomorrow.”

“Ew,” he says pulling you towards him and you can just picture the look of disgust he’s bearing. 

You turn around to face him, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. 

“Thank you for this morning,” you tell him.

“You’ll adjust,” he says. “But I know it’s hard.”

“Did you want to…” you ask, trailing off in the same way you did with Chan but you’re not nearly half as nervous. You can’t let yourself lose sight of the reason you’re in this house. 

“We don’t have to rush, okay?” he replies.

You nod.

“You are emotional right now,” he continues, “I can see that. I know this can be a lot to handle in the beginning so I won’t pile more on top of what you're already feeling.”

“I think I can handle it…” you speak up. 

“I want you to know you can handle it, y/n.”

You bite your bottom lip as you look at him. His words don’t feel like a rejection, they’re coming from a place that’s putting you first. He’s right. And you know it.

“Can I kiss you?” You ask timidly. 

He grabs on to you like he did this morning and pulls you up and over so you’re laying on top of him. You sit up, straddling his waist, and run your hands through his soft, blonde hair before leaning down and pressing your lips to his. You want to communicate just how much spending today with him meant to you. 

The kiss starts with slow, long presses of your lips together but soon evolves into more. You part your mouth, and he captures your bottom lip between his, sucking on it gently. His hands roam across your back as you kiss him again, snaking your tongue inside his mouth while your hips grind against him.

He turns his head to the side, letting out a breath as he breaks the kiss. You look down at him with uncertain eyes.

“Don’t think I don’t want you…because I do.” He moves his hips against you and you can feel his hardening cock press against you. “But let’s do this right.”

You realize how easily you could try to push it further, but he seems adamant about wanting you to be in a good headspace. Which, truthfully, makes you want him even more. As if he can heal the part of you that’s been wounded by fucking you. 

“We can still kiss though, right?”

He responds by cupping the back of your neck and bringing your lips to his again. 

The strict make out session has you feeling like a teenager again—hesitant to move to second base. He stills your hips and grunts each time you grind against him, causing you to giggle. The roles in this room are much different as you get to be the teaser for once.

—————

On Saturday it’s decided to make use of the pool and hot tub before the weather gets too cold. Changbin and Chan man the grill as everyone else is in the heated pool either swimming or lounging on the large floaties. You’re left feeling a little in awe, as you have never seen so much of all the members—the girls in their bathing suits and the guys in their swim trunks. They boys are all varying degrees of physical fitness—some have abs, some don’t, some have defined, muscular arms, some don’t. But the sight of each them makes you lick your lips and force yourself to look away. 

When you make your way out of the house, carrying a pan of meat to Chan and Changbin, you feel Chan’s eyes on you. He doesn’t try to hide it either, looking you over in your swimsuit. It’s modest, to some degree—a dark green bikini top with white and yellow flowers and matching shorts for the bottoms. His eyes dip to your cleavage, then back up to your eyes. At least you’re not the only one fighting these urges to keep your gaze up. You really wish you’d brought out a pair of sunglasses to hide your gawking.

He hasn’t said a word to you since that night. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging his look. You’re emboldened by the closeness you’ve felt with Hyunjin the last few days. You know that on Sunday, too, when it’s your day to choose—you’ll stay with Hyunjin again.

You push the thoughts of the Monday fast approaching with him aside as you get in the pool to join the others. Hyunjin holds his hand out to you as you descend the steps, pulling you to him once you’re in the water. You wrap your arms around his neck and legs around his waist as he carries you effortlessly through the water, towards the deep end. 

He stops against the side of the pool and you lean back to rest against it, hips thrust forward to his. Partially of your own doing, but also because of the water. He doesn’t seem to mind either way. He’s been rather receptive of your sly advances. You find it exciting, how both of you are able to tease each other knowing it’s building up to something more without any sort of timeline or demand. 

You grin up at him, letting your arms fall from around his neck down to his chest. You are assigned to him and feel free to stare and touch him as you please. You run your hands down past his lightly defined pectorals, over his nipples (which makes him giggle), then down to his abs. They may not be as toned as Chan’s, but they feel satisfying beneath your fingertips either way.

Hyunjin leans down to kiss you but before his lips meet yours, a wave of water hits you, soaking both of your heads. You both turn to find the culprit—Lee Know. He’s grinning as he flicks more water at you. You push away from Hyunjin and head towards him. 

Hyunjin grabs you by the waist, pulling you back. 

“Relax,” he says into your ear. “He can’t swim.”

“Good,” you mutter. “I can drown him easier.”

Hyunjin laughs at your remark. 

“And then what?” He asks. “You go to jail and you’re kept from me?”

You pout your lips and look up at him. 

“But if would feel so cathartic.”

“I agree with you. Everyone’s contemplated drowning Minho at some point,” he tells you. 

When the meat is cooked, everyone exits the pool to eat. Chan sits directly across from you and Hyunjin, leaning back in his chair, all nonchalant and unbothered. When you’re with Hyunjin, who’s treating you so well, you’re able to mostly keep your disturbing thoughts of Chan at bay. You wish you could say you hadn’t thought of him at all, hadn’t thought of what he’s doing up in his room when you aren’t there. Does he touch himself? Does he think of you when he does it?

“I call dibs on being the DJ,” Felix announces when the conversation turns to the Halloween party once again. 

“If you’re just putting together a playlist, you’re not a DJ,” Seungmin corrects him. 

“Don’t over do it with Halloween songs,” Jeongin speaks up, looking pointedly at Han. 

“You have to set the mood,” Han defends himself, cheeks stuffed with food. 

“No one wants to hear Thriller 10 times in one night,” Jeongin says.

“You don’t know that,” Han mumbles with a shrug. 

You ladies are put in charge of getting the virtual invites out, completing the decorations and organizing the catering and keg deliveries. 

You push your plate away from you and look at Chan. You notice he’s always so quiet when he’s with the group. For being the leader he doesn’t speak up that often. Maybe he’s content letting them squabble over the smaller details and getting the final say. 

After everyone is fed and has put the subject of the party to rest, Hyunjin takes your hand and leads you towards the hot tub where Changbin, Lee Know, Rhiannon, Allie and Seungmin are already inside. You sit next to Hyunjin and relax in the warmth, leaning your head against the outer rim with your eyes closed. There’s a jet at work on your back and the repeated pressure feels good. 

Chan and Felix enter the hot tub next. It’s not that big, but everyone moves over to make room. Hyunjin pulls you onto his lap and Chan sits right next to him. Jeongin and Charlotte show up next with shots for everyone. You toss yours back with a grimace—it makes you feel even hotter. 

You lean back against Hyunjin and fight the urge to look over at Chan. It shouldn’t feel so awkward. Directly across from you is a prime example. Charlotte is seated on Jeongin’s lap sideways, legs draped over Han and they’re all engaged in conversation with each other.

You chew on your lip and let out a low breath. Maybe you’re the one making it more awkward than it needs to be, letting your confusing feelings about Chan get in the way of something that should be easy. You’ve been living like he doesn’t exist the past couple of days—you can’t keep that up. You don’t want to be the one to ruin the vibe of the house.

You turn to face Chan as Hyunjin rests his arms on the rim of the hot tub, talking to Lee Know on his other side.

“Got any ideas for your costume?” You ask him. 

“Not yet…why? You wanna play dress up with me?” He arches an eyebrow and smiles. 

You’re caught off guard at his response—both the words and the disarming smile he bears. The bottle of alcohol is passed around again, saving you a response as you fill up your shot glass. 

Chan holds his glass out to you and you cheers him before taking the shot. 

“You seem better,” he says, placing his glass on the ground outside the hot tub. 

It’s the first time he’s acknowledged it. 

You feel a hand on your left thigh and tense up for a second. Hyunjin’s arms are still behind you. Chan’s lips are turned up at the side, watching you panic.

With the jets going you can’t see anything beneath the water, but you know it’s him. 

“Hyunjin has been great,” you tell him. 

“I know,” he replies with an understanding nod, meanwhile his hand has started sliding up and down your thigh. “I’m glad.”

You want to ask him how he knows and why would he be glad about it, but your conversation is interrupted.

“You guys talking about me over here?” Hyunjin leans over to his left side where you and Chan are. 

Chan grins and you feel like you’re about to be caught doing something you shouldn’t. His hand doesn’t stop caressing your thigh. 

“Only good things,” you reply, turning your head to look at him. 

Hyunjin places a quick peck on your cheek and returns to his conversation with Lee Know. 

You drop your gaze down to the water feeling happy, embarrassed and confused. 

Chan’s hand slides further up your thigh and moves between your legs. With his other hand above the water, he uses a finger to tilt your head back up so you’re looking at him. You don’t know what to say. 

“No?” He asks quietly. 

You nod your head slowly, spreading your legs just a little further apart.

How could he do this so quickly? He gave you a mere centimeter of attention and now you’re back right where he wants you. This physical touch, though, is the most he’s shown you in front of the others.

Changbin says something to Chan then, so he turns to speak to him but continues rubbing you over your swim shorts. Your hips move against his fingers. 

Hyunjin instinctively wraps one arm around your waist to keep you still as he had been doing the past couple of days. His hand bumps Chan’s in the process and he redirects his attention back to you two. 

Your pulse increases as you anticipate his reaction. 

He fucking chuckles.

With your hair up in a messy bun, Hyunjin has easy access to the back of your neck. He kisses it lightly as he holds you closer to him and Chan resumes his hand movements. Your eyes flutter shut as your brain is on the fritz, trying to process exactly what the fuck is happening right now. 

“It’s too hot in here,” Allie blurts out. 

To which everyone but you laughs. You’re goddamn right it’s hot in here, but for you it’s due to an entirely different reason. 

“I’m getting back in the pool,” she says and stands from the water. 

“I’ll come with you,” you say, taking her distraction as a saving grace to get you out the hot tub before these two men send you to a room with padded walls. 

You push Chan’s hand away and Hyunjin let’s go of you as you stand. 

Allie walks to the steps of the pool but you dive right in. The cold water against your skin shocks your senses, making you feel alert and awake, helping bring you down from whatever Hyunjin and Chan were trying to work you up to. 

You take your time, swimming to the opposite end of the pool before resurfacing. You let out a deep breath and wipe the water away from you face. You don’t know how to describe what you had just felt—both of them touching you at once. You’ve never felt that before…but holy fuck do you want to experience it to completion now. 

[ read chapter seven here ]

a/n: oh boy. how are we feeling? it was important for her to acknowledge all she's going through. but aren't we so happy she has hyunjin? the yin to chan's yang. 😁

tag list: @iflmho / @skzstaykatsy / @blackhairandbangs / @ayoitschannie / @idunnomanmynamewastaken / @charmer-c / @ihatemen55 / @channiesprincess / @channniesslefttt / @jiwoos-babygirl / @krayzieestay / @kayleefriedchicken / @sunnyhonie / @cotton-candycloudz / @lubsungie / @conwunder / @puckmaidens / @ashleighland /

#stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfic #bangchan fanfic #stray kids #bang chan #bang chan imagines #hyunjin #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin #bangchan #skz smut #skz fluff #bangchan smut #bang chan smut #skz fan fiction #stray kids smut #bangchan x reader #bangchan x y/n #hyunjin x y/n

[hyunjinsbelovedamericano]

Texting bf skz when they don't get you the present you want (maknae line) pt.2

-----------

FLUFF, crack

Hyung line

-----------

Han

Felix

Seungmin

Jeongin

#skz fluff #skz x y/n #stray kids fluff #skz #felix x reader #han x reader #changbin x reader #jeongin x reader #hyunjin x reader #lee know x reader #bangchan x reader #skz texts #skz fanfic #skz fan fiction

[stxrlostseung]

falling, fallen · kim seungmin 🪼

falling, fallen : chapter two 📎

academic rivals to lovers (seungmin x fem!reader)

word count: 2.1k

warning(s) : mild swearing, fluff, angst (?)

← chapter 1

🪼 a.n: OMDS I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPLOAD 😭😭 got caught up with some stuff this weekend.... enjoy this one though !! pls keep supporting tysmm 🤍

“do the project with me.”

you froze on the spot, staring at his arm which gripped the chair once again, covered with his navy jacket sleeve and stopping you from leaving.

“what?” you demanded, stepping back and meeting his brown eyes, covered by his thin blonde bangs. by this time many of the remaining students in the lecture hall had stopped to listen to your conversation, probably wanting to get front row seats to some university tea.

seungmin only shrugged in return. “i don’t have a partner,” he quirked his thumb towards the six other guys in his group, who were bickering about something behind him in their chairs. you assumed that they had already paired themselves up. lucky them.

you rolled your eyes. “don’t you have other friends in the class? ask them, you idiot,” you tried to walk past him again, unsuccessful once more.

his arm had returned to the chair. “well, you don’t have a partner either, do you?” seungmin raised a single eyebrow, his eyes still on you.

you sighed. he had a point, you didn’t.

but you couldn’t give in. 

never in a million years would you work on a project with your sworn rival since high school, kim seungmin.

“that doesn’t give you a reason to partner up with me,” you countered, scowling at him.

seungmin scoffed in return. “you’re just so dumb sometimes,” he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

“i’m not a mirror.” this time, you successfully walked past him, taking advantage of his arm-crossing.

“hey! i just don’t have a partner, and i need one,” he followed closely behind you, whining like a child.

you rushed out of the lecture hall and into the bustling campus sidewalk, looking around with your hand above your forehead to shield the blinding sun.

when you looked back after a few moments, seungmin was still standing a bit behind you, arms crossed again and lips pursed.

“you’ll fail without a partner,” seungmin stated simply, eyebrows raised.

you heart dropped. he knew grades were your weakness. you’d do anything to get a good grade on any school assignment. 

but in the present moment, you wanted to give up on that one simple A+, the satisfying 100/100.

running away was on the long list of things you wanted to do right now.

however, losing an argument was not on that list.

“shut up, you’re so annoying,” you muttered, determined to win over the argument. you start to walk away towards your next destination, wanting to ditch seungmin, when your wrist was grabbed.

the sudden movement caused you to stumble back and struggled to maintain your balance. 

another hand, from the same person whose arm was on your wrist, flew to your other arm, catching you just in time.

your eyes widened as you turned back and saw seungmin.

with one hand still wrapped around your wrist.

he let go of your arm when you regained your balance.

“what are you—” you were cut off when he lifted your hand and dropped a piece of paper into your palm. you frowned, confused as you stared at the paper.

“call me if you change your mind,” seungmin closed your fingers around the piece of paper and shrugged nonchalantly.

you were left standing there, skin tingling and cheeks burning as you watch him walk away and back into the lecture hall.

what in the world just happened?

—————————

that day, you gave up—temporarily, as you may add—on your lifelong vow to be antisocial.

you texted every person who was at the lecture that morning, asking if they wanted to partner up for the project assigned.

as long as anyone said yes, anyone else, you could escape from working with seungmin.

kim freaking seungmin.

you swore on your single relationship status that you would never work with him.

but you got more and more anxious after every “oh sorry, i have a partner already” or any variation of that statement from a classmate, popping up on your phone screen. it didn’t help that much when a large amount of people didn’t even respond.

as you went down the list, the amount of remaining students you had to text decreasing slowly, a feeling of dread creeped into your stomach. 

this couldn’t happen.

that denying statement was proved wrong when you reached the end of the list, and a girl politely turned down your offer to work together.

you ended up laying face down on the bed in your single-person dorm, rethinking all your life decisions.

you groaned as you flipped onto your back, death staring the ceiling and hoping it would crumble down on you any second.

plot twist: it didn’t.

when you finally decided to sit up, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table with the piece of paper seungmin had given you earlier that day. it turned out to be his phone number, scrawled across it in a rush.

your face curled up in resentment as you realized you’d have to call or text him.

hopefully, text would work. your stomach churned at the thought of calling seungmin.

you typed in his number onto your phone and added him to your contacts—which you would have never done if given a choice, obviously.

you tapped on the “text” button and your mouth turned up into a sneer when the words “kim seungmin has notifications silenced” popped up.

well, what a surprise. how shocking. for someone as social as him, it was surprise if he even turned off his phone, much less turned off notifications.

scoffing, you turned to the only solution that had a chance of working right now.

your thumb hovered over the “call number” button on the top of the screen, a nervous feeling suddenly seeping into you.

your stomach felt like it was a bucket dropping slowly to the bottom of the well.

you took a deep breath before tapping on the button and putting your phone to your ear. someone picked up after a few rings.

but before the person on the other end of the line could say anything, you spoke.

“when do you want to start working on the project?”

—————————

never in a thousand years would you have imagined yourself walking towards the university library to work on a partnered project.

nor would you have imagined that the person you were working on the project with was kim seungmin.

it was a sunny day, and you and seungmin had agree—after an argument, of course—to work at the library starting the weekend after you reluctantly gave in to working on the project with him in the name of your grades.

and only in the name of your grade.

you checked the time on your watch as you ran up the stairs to the university library. it was just past noon.

backpack slung over one shoulder and a binder in your arms, you entered the sleek modern building, university students scattered around in front of tables and bookshelves.

you looked around for the blonde you’re supposed to meet, but he was nowhere in sight and you took an empty table near a window, placing your backpack under the table. sighing, you then left to look for some books related to the project.

books of different shapes, colors, and sizes lined the old bookshelves of the university. even though the library was generally cleaned on a regular basis, the wooden material of the bookshelves indicated its old age, intertwined with the its long history.

you slide your fingers gently along the book spines as you walk through the rows of shelves in the library, searching for the books you needed. 

15 minutes later, you only needed one left.

after walking back and forth through the different rows, scouting for the familiar brown cover, you ended up staring up at it, nestled in the top level of the bookshelf.

which conveniently turned out to be way higher than what your height could reach.

talk about being short.

you frantically looked around in the next few rows for a ladder or stool of some sort to let you reach the book, but it had no result. you returned to the row where the book belonged.

you cringed as you tried to stand up on your tiptoes, straining your neck and arm to get the book. people behind threw you curious glances, and your cheeks reddened of embarrassment.

just as you were about to give up and ask a library volunteer to help, a hand from behind you snatched the book right out of its place on the shelf.

“hey! that was my—“ you spun around, facing the culprit. 

only to be cut off when you realized that you were staring up at a certain blond whose face was dangerously close to yours.

you could practically count every strand of his bangs that brushed against his eyelashes.

your face burned up when you realized you were staring at his face. you step out of your previous position with him leaning over you, coughing awkwardly, temperature rising strangely quick.

“so, when’d you get here?” you stare at the ground, cheeks still red, and gripping the side of the bookshelf.

seungmin straightened up his posture. he raised the book, which was now in his hand, patting it on your head and resulting in a scowl from you.

“just now,” he shrugged and shoved his free hand inside his pocket. “i got some coffee for us from downstairs.”

you roll your eyes at him. “we better start studying, you dummy, or i’m leaving your group.” you promptly stalked away towards the library tables.

you forcefully push down the strange feeling that had just entered your stomach as you walked away.

when you reached the spot you scouted earlier, seungmin dropped his own backpack onto the ground, two cups of coffee were sitting on the table. you grabbed both and read the orders as you sat down, a printed sticker stuck onto the paper material of the cup.

“this one’s yours,” he pointed to one of the cups.

“latte with a shot of vanilla? how’d you know it’s my usual?” i frowned, confused.

“oh, uh—” seungmin nervously laughed. “i didn’t know that, i just ordered something i thought you’d like.”

you looked at him, clueless. he took his plain white out of your hands and took a sip, leaving only the latte within your grip.

“so, let’s get started, shall we?” seungmin fished his laptop out of his bag as he sat down across from you.

you nod, sliding the coffee away from me and grabbing a book from the pile.

the next hour was filled with silent note-taking and researching, although your mind kept traveling to the moment at the bookshelves earlier.

it was as if your body had been charged with a kind of energy, which caused your body to react in strange ways that you’d never felt before.

your stomach had been very weirdly tingly somehow, and your cheeks would not cool down no matter how many deep breaths you took.

seungmin suddenly reaches for his coffee next to his notebook, the movement causing you to look up at him with the tip of your pen mid-sentence on your own notebook.

you observe the blond, unbeknownst to himself.

he’s sitting so that you can see his side profile clearly. his eyes are focused on the book, which he’s holding one-handedly, coffee cup in the other one. 

the sun seeping from the window hits seungmin’s face at the perfect angle, making it look like he was glowing. it reflects on the surface of his eyes, as if his eyes were filled with bright stars.

it was strangely… mesmerizing.

“you want a picture?”

you snap out of your thoughts, face reddening for the nth time today.

“huh?” you frown at seungmin, who was now looking at you.

“i mean, you’ve been staring for quite a while now,” he smirks and sets the coffee cup back onto the table. “a picture lasts longer, you know.”

you scowl at him. “no thanks.” you immediately stand up after. “i’m going to go to the bathroom,” you inform him then walk away.

the second you reach the bathroom, you go in front of the mirror across the wall in front of the sinks.

you splash water onto your face, attempting to refresh yourself and snap out of whatever the hell just happened.

y/n, what was that?? what the just happened to you?

all the weird ways you were reacting to the simplest gestures from seungmin, they didn't make sense.

seungmin was your rival.

you hated him.

but unbeknowst to you, there would be a question that you would come across and be forced to ponder on soon:

did you really?

🎧 ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ taglist is open <33 please leave a request in comments if you'd like to be added !!

#skz #stray kids #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #fanfiction #skz fan fiction #skz au #stray kids au #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz x reader #stray kids x you #seungmin x reader #skz x y/n #seungmin x y/n #divider by benkeibear

[stayxlix]

off the deep end. (06)

~(part six) the echoes of loss ~

pairing: rebel!felix x reader (f)

genre: non-idol au, post-apocalypse/dystopian au. wc: 20.8k

series rating: 18+ **minors do not interact**

chapter warnings: violent mature themes, explicit sexual content (consensual, unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), dom/sub themes), mentions of murder/death, oppressive government, fighting, weaponry (gunfire, knife use), injury, blood, vivid descriptions of nightmares, language, major angst as always, please lmk if i missed any!!

a/n: thank you all so much for your patience and continued support, it really does keep this story alive.<3 as always any feedback, likes, and reblogs are more appreciated than you know. i've been feeling a lil nervous to post this (what else is new lol) but im so happy to finally be able to share it with you. i hope you enjoy this one, its a bit of a doozy.♡♡

~series masterlist~

“Things become sweeter after they have been lost. When I finally grasped what I'd so desperately yearned for, it was turned to dust in my hands. And a small part of my mind remembers an alternate pattern of events, before I opened my eyes and returned to cold embrace of a reality in which I never truly belonged.”

Swallowed by darkness, he's stumbling backward but he isn't going anywhere. His mind isn't working correctly, isn't processing. His knees hit the ground and he closes his eyes but he can still see them. Misshapen faces, their expressions warped, disfigured, as they look through him. Right down to where the remorse festers in his guilt-ridden soul. He's delirious, on the verge of flight or fight. His chest constricts as he takes in shallow breaths. He tries to speak, to beg for their forgiveness. Yet its as if his lips have been sewn shut, his tongue far too heavy to move.

Instead, they speak to him in distorted voices that swell as he covers his ears. And suddenly they're reaching out, clamping icy fingers around his throat, pulling his hair, clawing deep scratches into his skin. They ask if he remembers their faces, what he's done to them, but how could he forget? Don't they know he carries it with him? Don't they know how it haunts him? He recoils, he fights to break free, but its no use. It never is. Even as his eyes wrench open, their grip lingers. A permanent reminder that they’re a part of him, and they always will be. Waiting for him there in the shadows every time he dares to close his eyes.

With a sudden jolt, his body shot upright from the hard wooden floor, covered in cold sweat that sent a shiver coursing through his frame. A shuddering exhale fell from his lips as he ran a trembling hand through his hair. A single tear traced a silent path down his cheek—a physical manifestation of the nightmare.

He blinked, taking in his surroundings.

Shadows danced across the walls as the faint glow of the moon filtered in through the boarded window above his head. As his breathing steadied, his focus began to sharpen. There, around him, lie the slumbering forms of his friends, his soul mates, the only people in the world he could trust. Each was nestled in their own corner of the room, soundly asleep, their tranquil faces untouched by the horrors that plagued his own mind.

And then, he glanced down to his side, to the figure closest to him.

You stirred, a slight pout forming on your lips as if your subconscious had somehow sensed his absence. His fingers twitched as he watched the slow, steady rhythm of your chest, and an unconscious urge fell over him to reach out and touch you. To reassure himself that this was real.

That you were real. 

He eased his aching body back down onto the floor. You shifted closer, instinctively reaching out for him, and he welcomed the warmth of your touch.

Felix knew he’d have no chance at falling asleep again tonight, the clutches of the nightmare having left their mark on his consciousness. It was routine. He was used to it. So he lie there, still and contemplative, as his eyes trained to the ceiling. And it was in moments like these that his mind often drifted, the quiet solitude granting him the opportunity to reflect on his past and the individuals that had shaped his present.

Felix was born into a life stripped of control. He gritted his teeth when the devil’s symbol was seared into his back. He took lives when commanded—some innocent, some not—but he did it without question because it was all he’d ever been taught to do. Like second nature, he had grown numb to its weight. And in a twisted way, the sense of control that taking a life brought had become addicting to Felix. A fleeting illusion of power in a world where he’d always had none. 

By the time Felix met Bang Chan, he had forgotten what it meant to be human, if he had ever truly known at all. He walked through life with a detached numbness. A hollow vessel, weighed down by the gravity of his sins. When Felix met Bang Chan, he had all but lost his soul. However it quickly became clear that Chan, despite being just a few years older than Felix, possessed the ability to help him find it again. 

With the wisdom of someone far beyond his age, Chan became a guiding light for Felix. He instilled in Felix a moral compass, and although it might have been a broken compass that didn't function correctly all the time, at least it was there. At least Chan was there, to guide Felix back whenever the needle threatened to point in the wrong direction.

And so, in time, with Chan by his side Felix gradually came to realize that despite the desolation around them, despite the horrible things he had done in his life and the monsters who had forced him to do them, there would always be things worth fighting for. 

Things worth fighting for, and people worth believing in.

Felix had never come across anyone with such innate passion for survival, until he crossed paths with Seo Changbin. A force to be reckoned with, Changbin was unapologetically himself. A fiercely loyal companion who challenged Felix to push beyond his limits—both physically and mentally. Changbin was the flame that reignited Felix's spirit, and through his unwavering support, Felix gathered the strength to keep moving forward no matter how hopeless things may seem.

Felix had never been particularly fond of loud noises, until he heard Han Jisung fill an empty space with laughter for the first time. In Jisung’s presence, Felix often found himself caught in fleeting moments where he could allow himself to be young, to feel free. He gained new experiences through Jisung, who had a way of weaving captivating stories and spinning enchanting tales that demanded the attention of everyone around him. Even if it was no secret among the group that many of Jisung's stories were fabrications, born from his own need to conceal the burdens he carried, that didn’t stop Felix from hanging on to every word. And sometimes, on sleepless nights when the lines between nightmare and reality blurred, when he felt himself slipping away again, Felix would replay those stories in his mind. He would imagine himself in Jisung’s place instead, and it helped.

Felix had never truly grasped the fragile nature of human life, until he was introduced to Lee Minho. Despite his awareness of Minho's skills as a trained healer, Felix was more than hesitant to let the boy from District 9 treat his wounds. His body bore a map of faded scars. Every mark served as a permanent reminder of the cruel nature of the world that had shaped him. The idea of relinquishing control, even to someone as capable as Minho, ignited a fire of reluctance within Felix. And so, instead of accepting his help, Felix chose to let his own cuts bleed as he observed Minho tend to the wounds of his companions. Countless times, he watched Minho’s patient hands move with a touch so delicate it was unlike anything he had ever witnessed before.

But this wasn't the only reason that Felix found himself drawn to Minho's presence. Because Felix came to realize that beyond his remarkable ability to mend physical wounds, Lee Minho also possessed a unique understanding of the intricacies of the human heart. 

In Minho's company, Felix didn’t feel the need to maintain a facade of unyielding strength the same way he did with Chan. And whereas Jisung introduced Felix to fleeting moments of happiness, Minho taught Felix that it was okay to feel like he didn’t deserve them—that grappling with his self worth didn't make him weaker. Minho's impact on shaping his sense of self was profound. And it was because of this that Felix, who had entered the world without an identity, eventually came to find comfort in embracing Minho's surname as his own.

Lee Felix found himself captivated by the bond shared between Kim Seungmin and Yang Jeongin, a testament to the strength that comes from placing unwavering trust in another human being. Their connection stirred a repressed longing within Felix for a similar closeness, and Seungmin’s patient demeanor granted Felix the freedom to achieve it. To open up at his own pace, to learn to navigate the delicate art of trust on his terms. Seungmin asked questions with genuine interest, but he didn’t pry, he didn’t judge, and so he and Felix were quick to develop a bond of their own built on the steady foundation of mutual respect. 

In Jeongin, Felix witnessed an innocence that he himself had been denied. Throughout his life, Felix had grown accustomed to the way others regarded him. Those he had targeted as victims consistently bore the same expressions of fear. And among the boys, despite their best efforts to conceal it, there was always an undertone of pity in their eyes when they looked to Felix.

But when Felix met Jeongin's eyes, he saw no traces of fear or pity behind them. Instead, he saw genuine admiration. And although the role of mentorship was not something Felix had ever sought, it was in the youngest member of the group that he discovered a newfound sense of purpose—the responsibility to serve as a guardian himself in a world where innocence was more than rare. 

Lee Felix had never found comfort in a silent space, and he never understood people who did. People like Hwang Hyunjin, who could sit for hours underneath a gnarled oak tree with only the still air and a journal to keep him company. To Hyunjin, the silence was as much of an empty canvas as the pages in front of him, and he used it to sketch his thoughts in elegant strokes, capturing the faded beauty of a dying world. Hyunjin’s ability to create something delicate with his own two hands was a talent that fascinated Felix, who’d always had a tendency to overlook the intricate details of life. 

Always restless, constantly on the move, Felix was a perpetual wanderer who trampled over flowers underneath his shoes, who paid no mind to the warmth of a summer breeze against his skin. Even the moon had once been nothing more than a distant companion to Felix, overshadowed by the need to keep moving to survive. 

Until he found Hyunjin.

After fate led Felix to Chan, it brought him to Hyunjin. 

Beneath an uncharacteristically clear sky on a sweltering summer afternoon in District 4, Felix found himself compelled to venture out in search of water. It'd been a few days since he’d last seen Chan after the older boy had embarked on a supply run that he'd insisted on making alone, so after leaving behind a small note in their usual spot, Felix set off. Determined not to stray too far, his steps were fueled not only by his parched tongue but also the need to keep his mind off of his growing concern for Chan’s absence. 

It wasn't long before Felix found himself within a thick patch of vegetation, where he came across a small pond. And as he stood at the pond's edge, swiping the hair from his sticky forehead and debating on whether or not he was desperate enough to drink the murky liquid, a figure emerged from the brush on the opposite side. 

A golden haired boy, injured and in desperate need of help. 

Felix’s initial instinct was to take advantage of the boy’s vulnerabilities, to steal what he could from him and abandon him to his fate. But he was different now. He was no longer the person he once was. Throughout his time spent alongside Chan, Felix had learned how to reset his own compass. And so, with newfound clarity he cautiously approached the boy. Felix draped an arm around his waist, and in silence he helped support the boy's weight as the two retraced his steps back to camp.

That night, as the boy drifted in and out of consciousness, Felix’s knowledge of his background remained confined to a single detail. A name—Hyunjin. And as Hyunjin slept, Felix pressed two fingers to his neck periodically to make sure that his heart was still beating. 

Felix thanked the gods he'd never believed in when Chan returned the following evening. Through a single shared glance between two kindred souls who had become attuned to each other’s thoughts, a silent conversation was held. Understanding passed between them, followed by a nod of approval from Chan that resonated deeply with Felix. 

While Chan himself was no medical expert, his time spent navigating the districts had offered him a bit more understanding about basic healing than Felix—who had been trained solely in the art of taking lives, never saving them. Chan hastily took over Hyunjin’s care, making most of the limited supplies he had returned with. And that night, as the moon returned to bathe their campsite in a delicate silver embrace, as Chan monitored Hyunjin’s sleeping form, he shared with Felix the story of a place called Clé and a woman named Hira. 

His words painted the picture of a sanctuary for lost souls, orchestrated by an arms dealer whose beauty shone through her scars. The corridors within Clé called out to those who believed in the possibility of an escape from their lives. However, its doors were not open to all seeking solace.

Hira selected her guests with a discerning eye, choosing to bestow her favor upon only the most physically alluring souls. And those deemed unworthy were turned away, left to return to the unforgiving terrain of the districts they so desperately wished to escape.

Individuals that did find themselves granted access to Clé were groomed to master the art of pleasure, sculpted and shaped to perfection through teachings that revolved around the art of evoking desire and temptation. And when Hira deemed them sufficiently molded by her touch, she would whisper them away to District 9, transported by armed guards to the heart of the Inner Circle—where their beauty would become its own form of currency, traded away to the leaders who governed its polished streets.

It was a journey that came at the highest of prices, demanding a sacrifice of dignity in pursuit of survival. A final attempt to slip free from the rusty chains of their current existence, only to find themselves imprisoned on the other side by a shiny new cage with an unbreakable lock. 

It didn’t take long for Chan’s heavy eyes to fall shut that night, eager to embrace the welcome arms of sleep now that he was back where he belonged. But even as light began to flood the sky above, sleep remained elusive for Felix. He suddenly found himself gripped by an unexpected gratitude for his own past, for it had ultimately led him in the opposite direction from the sinister paths that snaked throughout District 9. And as he lie there pondering the twists and turns of fate, Felix found himself wondering if he would have meet Hira's standards, had he found himself seeking refuge within Clé. He contemplated whether or not he would ever have been deemed worthy of a destination such as District 9—a question that lingered within his consciousness for quite some time, even if he had no real desire to know the answer. 

As the days turned to weeks, as Hyunjin's condition gradually improved, the duo became a trio. They fell into a seamless rhythm, trading roles and responsibilities without the need for explicit communication. Hyunjin effortlessly assumed the role of the heartstrings that held the three of them together. Each time Felix let his temper get the best of him, it was Hyunjin who went chasing after. Whenever Chan pushed himself beyond his limits, it was always Hyunjin who stepped up in his place. And as the weeks faded into months, as Felix came to know Hyunjin on a deeper level, it was as if a filter over his eyes had begun to lift. The once-overlooked intricacies of the world now caught his attention. Hyunjin intrigued Felix in a way that nothing ever had, and the shared curiosity between them prompted the two to weave a separate history of their own. 

But it was a complicated history, one that struggled to withstand the pull of Felix’s dark past. Because whenever their friendship edged on evolving into something more, Felix would instinctively withdraw, grappling with his inner turmoil and the fear of exposing Hyunjin to the mistakes of his past. Hyunjin, too, harbored secrets of his own, which only added to the strain between them. And despite the tender moments that were truly good, they were both still so young. Too young to fully understand the complexities of love and life. 

Too human, to comprehend the workings of fate and destiny, but still perceptive enough to appreciate the significance of what had brought them together. Which is why, even after it all came crashing down, spiraling far out of either of their control, the bond between them remained. A delicate bond, worn and frayed at the edges, was left lingering in place of something that could have been so much more. But it remained, nonetheless. Because Hyunjin had been there on nights when Chan couldn’t be. When Felix woke from unforgiving nightmares, drenched in sweat and overcome with fear, the golden haired boy was at his side in an instant to wipe away his tears and provide soft hums that lulled him back to sleep. 

And so even now, in moments when his ears buzzed with silence, Felix continued to find peace in Hyunjin's presence. Because just as Chan had shown Felix the difference between right and wrong, between morality and depravity, Hyunjin taught Felix the true essence of living. To appreciate the colors of the sky when before he had only seen shades of grey. To hear the music in a quiet moment when there was no sound. To feel the warmth of shared memories through the ghost of Hyunjin’s touch, long after he stopped receiving it.

Hyunjin left a new kind of mark on Felix, a testament to the level of emotion he was capable of feeling. Which is why when Felix met you it was as if fate had given him a second chance to explore the depths of human connection. He built his walls like always—old habits die hard, or something like that—but this time Felix built them on a foundation that was just a little less sturdy. 

A fraction less resilient than before. 

Because in your eyes, he saw the reflection of the person he was still struggling to become—someone who had known darkness and pain but still managed to overcome it. You didn’t avoid his scars, you looked directly at them with understanding and acceptance in your eyes. And in the intimate moments when it was just the two of you, Felix felt a sense of belonging that he had never experienced before. Not even with Hyunjin, whose efforts to unravel his innermost layers had fallen short because there was a part of Felix that Hyunjin could never fully reach, no matter how hard he fought to.

But you, you soothed his burning skin with your touch, closed open wounds with every kiss, mended his broken soul a little further every time you spoke his name. Which is why this time, Felix wasn’t just letting his walls come down—he was tearing them down himself.  Because in your presence, Felix had begun to develop the hope that some day he would be able to free himself completely from the darkness that had once consumed him.

And as he lie there beside you that night in Clé, Felix couldn't help but notice the way your fingers occasionally brushed across his form as if to reassure yourself that he was there. He shut his eyes, he recalled the gentle pressure of your hands through his hair just hours before, and as he relished in the comforting warmth of your body next to his, Felix felt himself begin to believe in the possibility of a different kind of love that wouldn’t end in loss. 

For the first time in his life, Felix allowed himself to entertain the thought that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.

The night was eerily still, save for the faint rustling of leaves outside as a gentle breeze slipped in through the boards covering the windows. You were lost in a comfortable, dreamless sleep when an insistent shake startled you awake. When your eyes snapped open you found yourself face to face with Felix, his own eyes wide and brimming with alarm. 

“Hey, wake up,” his hushed voice reached your ears through the darkness, and despite the drowsiness that still clung to your senses, it would have been impossible to miss the urgency in his tone. “Something isn’t right.”

You sat up quickly, the familiar feeling of adrenaline beginning to flood your veins once again, erasing any lingering remnants of sleep. Felix draped the jacket you had been using as pillow around himself before promptly pulling you to your feet. 

“What’s happening? Where is everyone?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your free hand as you registered the emptiness of the room that had been full when you'd fallen asleep. Felix shook his head, his grip on your hand firm as he swiftly guided you toward the door. “They’re downstairs. We need to go.”

“What? Go where?"

“Anywhere but here, we need to go," he urged. Without further question, you hurriedly followed him down the dimly lit corridor. When your gaze briefly fell to the supply closet, your time spent inside with him earlier that night flashed through your mind, warming your cheeks. But the memory was quickly overshadowed by a shrill cry that pierced the air when you reached the top of the staircase.  

Felix quickened his pace, mirroring the rising hysteria in the voice that grew louder with every step you descended. Your hold on him tightened when you registered the words it carried. 

The same words. Two simple words. Repeated over and over again. 

I'm sorry.

The source of the voice was revealed at the bottom of the staircase, where you were met with the sight of Yeonjun, kneeling on the floor in the kitchen. A handful of small candles flickered on the table, casting a warm glow across face—cheeks wet with tears, puffy eyes red and swollen as he looked up to where Hira stood over him. 

Sensing your unease, Felix lightly squeezed your hand, urging you to stay put as he observed the exchange between Yeonjun and Hira. 

"How could you?!" Hira’s voice erupted in sudden anger, her fury directed down at the crying boy. Her tone was chilling, ice cold, and the words that followed sent an electric shock drilling up your spine. “You’ve sentenced us all to death.” 

Glancing to Felix, you held your breath as you watched his features darken. The look in his eyes reflected your own growing realization, and your suspicions were confirmed when Yeonjun's voice rang out again.

“They threatened me! They were going to kill me, and they were going to come back for you!" A sob caught in his throat, and he paused to swallow it down before continuing. “They promised to let us go..they said they wouldn’t hurt anyone..that they just wanted to talk to them, and I-I’m sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, Felix." 

When Yeonjun turned to look at him, Felix froze. His eyes went wide and his grip on your hand went stiff, leaving you with a sinking feeling in the deepest pit of your stomach. 

Because not only did he know why Yeonjun was sorry, but he knew exactly who they were.

And so did you. 

Movement against the far wall caught your attention as the thin curtain over the window was blown aside by a gust of wind. Through the open space, you noticed two round spots of yellow light in the distance. And Yeonjun's cries were drowned out by the frantic drumming of your heartbeat in your ears when you realized that they were headlights. 

Time stood still as the fragile moment of solace you had found with the freckled boy last night was shattered to irreparable pieces. From the corner of your vision, you caught sight of Hyunjin as he came rushing in through the entrance to the kitchen. “They're getting closer, we need to go now!" His panicked words, along with your shared understanding of the situation, left no room for further hesitation from either you or Felix.

A fiery determination seemed to ignite within Felix when he began to move, dragging you with him. You lowered your head as you passed by Yeonjun and Hira in the confined space, however your heightened senses were immediately called back into focus when a cold hand clasped around your free wrist. Your movement came to an abrupt halt, causing Felix to do the same. With wide eyes, you lifted your head to him before shifting your gaze down to where Hira had claimed a vice-like grip on your flesh.

As her sharp nails dug into your skin, leaving deep crescent shapes underneath, her elegant features twisted into something unsettling—something outright disturbing, that grew even more pronounced when her lips parted to speak. 

"This is your fault," she snapped. "I knew it was you from the moment I laid eyes on you. The resemblance..I never expected to see her face again..but you..you look just like her."

The scrutiny in her eyes held a flicker of recognition, as if she saw someone else when she looked at you—as if you were suddenly entangled in a history that you hadn’t been a part of writing. And your mind raced as you tried to make sense of whatever connection she could possibly believe that you had to her own past. 

“I-I don't know what you're talking about,” your voice quivered as she took a step closer. When you tried to free your wrist, she fastened her hold, forcibly yanking you toward her.

"Felix-" 

The freckled boy reacted immediately when his name fell from your lips. Dropping your other hand, he lunged forward in a single motion, prying Hira's fingers from your wrist with such force that she stumbled back, colliding harshly with the wall. Long strands of tangled hair fell into her face at the impact, but she made no effort to sweep them away as her gaze shifted from Felix back to you. 

Her words hovered in the space between you, but before they could fully settle in your mind, before you got any chance at all to ask her what they meant, a single bullet fell in through the open window—striking Hira in the skull with lethal precision. 

Blood splattered across the wall behind her, a few droplets landing against your cheek as her lifeless body slumped to the ground. 

Every muscle in your body locked as your focus tunneled to the frozen expression on her face and the disturbing sensation of the warm droplets against your skin.

Yeonjun’s cries turned violent when he crawled over to take her into his arms. And as you watched him cradle her limp form, the world around you suddenly felt so distant that hardly any of it seemed real at all. 

When a second bullet embedded itself into the wall at your side, Felix swiftly drew you into the shelter of his chest. His deep voice resounded through the air, rising above Yeonjun's as he shouted at Hyunjin to “GO!” assuring him that the two of you would be close behind.

Around you, Hira's guests began to flood the room from various directions—the common area behind you, the staircase up ahead—and as their eyes fell upon their fallen leader, their shrieks formed a chilling chorus that drove you to seek further refuge in Felix's chest. He covered your ears with his hands to shield you from their screams, his touch gentle even amidst the chaos. 

“Princess I need you to move, we have to go now,” he pleaded, tilting your head to meet his gaze. And the effect was immediate. The unspoken promise in his eyes to keep you safe, the sound of his voice, coupled with with the caress of his thumbs as they swiped the blood from your cheeks—it worked. Felix brought you back to the present moment as you grasped hold of the fact that your survival, that his survival, depended on getting the hell out of there.

You managed a single nod, and Felix took it as your agreement. In an instant, his arms were back around you as he began to shoulder through the horrified guests in the room. When you stumbled free of the kitchen, he broke into a swift run, replacing his grip on your hand. 

"Stay close," he instructed, and you responded with a firm squeeze to his hand.

Outside, the fresh air hit cold against your clammy skin, shocking you out of fear and replacing it with fierce determination to protect the boy whose fingers were interlocked with yours. The moon that you had depended on for guidance so many times before was shrouded in darkness tonight. Unfamiliar voices, gunfire, and the rumble of a single engine in the distance filled the air behind you, disorienting you further.

Around the backside of the building, flashes of movement revealed where the rest of the boys had gathered at the rover. “They’re closing in! We need to get out of here!” Chan shouted in your direction.

Felix lifted the motorcycle to a standing position, and while he ensured it was ready to go, you squinted through the darkness to count the bodies in the rover.

Seven.

There were seven, including Hyunjin, who had assumed his original place beside Jisung. When you settled down on the bike after Felix, he reached behind himself to secure your arms around his waist. “Don’t let go, I’ve got you," he affirmed. His voice carried steady strength, and there was a sincerity in his words that made you believe that he meant them—that he did have you. And that you would always be safe with Felix, even if it would never be possible for him to guarantee.

When the rover carrying the rest of the boys surged ahead, Felix followed suit. Positioning the bike at its side, he quickly took the lead in front of Chan who directed him to steer the chase deeper into District 6. It meant veering off course from the route you had originally planned to take to get to Miroh, but none of that mattered now. 

The morning you’d spent planning for your journey inside Yellow Wood felt like it had taken place years ago. 

The night you’d shared with Felix on the rooftop, a lifetime.

Guided by a single headlight, Felix navigated the dark terrain expertly. He mastered every twist and turn, every jolt and bump, with skilled precision. And as the ground beneath you transitioned from soil into concrete, the barren stretches of land suddenly gave way to remnants of civilization once again.

Above you, a passing cloud released the the moon, freeing it to cast long shadows across fractured pavement that led straight toward a city. An abandoned city, from the looks of it, as there was no flickering firelight in the distance, no glimmering lanterns—only a dark expanse. An oppressive, pitch-black void that radiated something menacing, as if warning you to stay away.

The wind stung against your face when you lifted it from Felix's back. “You know where you’re going?!"

His attention remained fixed straight ahead as he shouted, “Been here a few times! Not enough to remember it all but we might be able to lose them in the streets!” And then, in a single movement, Felix placed one of his hands over yours where they were interlocked at his waist. It was a small gesture meant to reassure you, that instead made you regret everything—the entire chain of decisions that had led you to this point. Because the thought of what would happen to him if you weren't able to outrun your fathers guards tonight was a burden that you couldn't fathom bearing.

Towering structures loomed overhead as the vehicles raced into the city, their windows like hollow eyes watching over you as the sounds from the pursuing guards resonated in the near distance. The guards were close, but Felix was fast. He weaved in every direction, attempting to use the crumbling structures to your advantage, and surely he would have succeeded in losing them amidst the ruins if it had just been the two of you on the motorcycle. But the layout proved to be an added challenge because wherever he went, Felix had to ensure that Chan would be able to get through behind you. 

And if he could, then your father’s guards could too.

Rounding a corner as you neared heart of the city, the street you had been following was unexpectedly barricaded by a collapsed building, leaving you trapped.

With no way forward, Felix brought the bike to a screeching halt.

“Fuck we have to find another way. Hold on,” he muttered, maneuvering the bike around just as Chan and the others pulled up behind you. 

"We’re never going to be able to outrun them!” Minho shouted, his eyes darting back and forth in search of the best sign of escape.

“Everyone get out! We'll go on foot!” Chan commanded. And the boys obeyed without hesitation, driven solely by survival. Because that's what it was—survival. If caught, your father's men wouldn’t let them live. 

And every single one of you knew it. 

Following your lead, Felix swiftly dismounted the motorcycle. He cast it aside before reaching for your hand again, and you didn't hesitate to take it as Chan directed the group toward a building with glass doors that had been shattered open, beckoning you closer.

Upon entering, you found yourselves within a vast, open space underneath a high ceiling supported by several white pillars that gave the place an air of importance. Moonlight streamed in through elongated windows overhead, casting silhouettes along the once-pristine interior. The pale marble beneath your feet was cracked at nearly every inch of its surface, rendering you unsteady.

In a race against time, you pushed yourself to run faster than you ever had, pulled forward the boy you would have given anything to protect. Ragged breathing filled the air as you closed in on a second set of doors at the far end of the space, but before you could exhale a sigh of relief, a sudden cry rang out from behind you. 

Your eyes swept across the scene, instantly drawn to where Jeongin was sprawled on the ground a few feet away, clutching his foot as he hissed in pain. It was difficult to discern through the darkness exactly what had happened, until a single beam of moonlight caught on something shiny protruding from the worn out sole of his shoe. 

A shard of glass.

Felix took a step forward but Chan was closer, quickest to reach Jeongin’s side. 

“I can keep going,” Jeongin insisted through clenched teeth as Changbin joined Chan in lifting him from the ground. His arms looped around their shoulders, and he began to limp forward while Chan shouted at the rest of you to keep moving.

You turned to Felix and when his wide eyes connected with your own, a sinking feeling took hold over your entire body. “It’s okay, we’re okay,” he breathed. Yet despite his words, despite his best efforts to conceal his fear, the steadfast determination that had marked his expression only minutes before had vanished entirely.

In an instant it was as if if you could feel your undeniable fate settle in around you, ready to consume you whole.

Slowed down by Jeongin’s injury, the danger the nine of you faced had reached a critical point. And the realization that you weren’t going to be able to escape it dawned on you the very moment you emerged from the threshold on the opposite side of the building. 

Felix was first of the group to make it out, followed closely by you with your hands still interlocked. The second you set foot onto the pavement, the entire area around you was flooded with a blinding burst of light.

Flashlights and a single set of headlights were switched on, causing your senses to reel. Your eyes painfully adjusted to the sudden brightness, and your feet skidded on the gravel as you instinctively sought refuge behind Felix, lifting your hood and pulling it low to shield your face.

The menacing sound of numerous firearms being raised echoed throughout the air as they took aim at you from every direction. And the severity of the situation escalated even further when a second rover came barreling around the corner to join the first—rendering you severely outnumbered, with virtually no chance at escape. 

Felix made an effort to withdraw, stumbling as he pushed you behind him. “Go, go, go!” he repeated, desperately urging you to retreat back inside the building. But despite his insistence, fear rooted you in place.

Over your shoulder, you watched as Minho and Changbin swiftly raised their own guns, taking up defensive positions just inside the entrance, knuckles white against the weapon's dark metal. They stood at the forefront next to Chan, who met your gaze through the shattered glass doors that separated you. And although his stance was resolute, the sheer terror in his eyes was overwhelming.

“Enough! Stand down!” a bellowing voice ripped through the air without warning. It was a familiar voice, you had heard it before, however in your current state of alarm you couldn’t recall exactly which one of your father’s guards it belonged to. 

Your eyes remained fixed on Chan, who responded by bravely stepping out through the doors with raised hands. He took a few tentative steps forward, positioning himself directly beside Felix in a subtle attempt to further shield your face from the guards. 

When Chan addressed them, his voice was surprising steady. “We don't want any trouble, we’re just trying to survive.”

“You’re fugitives. You’ve already caused enough trouble,” the guard snarled in response.

You pressed your forehead to Felix's back, clutching his jacket as you wrestled with the conflicting thoughts in your head. Maybe, you thought, maybe if you revealed your identity and offered yourself up in exchange, they would let the boys go. But it was a fleeting thought, because deep down you knew they wouldn’t.

They wouldn’t.

And the understanding that you were completely and utterly helpless was enough to bring tears to your eyes. But it was nothing in comparison to what you felt when you registered the shuffling sound of approaching footsteps.

Your pulse quickened as Felix shifted, straightening his posture and positioning himself closer to you.

“Wait-” Chan's voice rang out with urgency as he tried to take a step forward, only to be shoved aside by the barrel of a gun held by an unseen guard.

And then, without warning, Felix was suddenly wrenched from your grasp in a heart-stopping display of brutality.

The guard that seized him spun him around violently, and panic rose hot in your throat when his hand pressed down on Felix's head, driving him to his knees.

Without turning around, Chan motioned frantically for Minho and Hyunjin to lower their guns.

"Looks like we've got ourselves a bargaining chip," the guard taunted. His comrades snickered around him as he raised his gun and pressed the barrel against the back of Felix's head, tapping it a few times before resting it still.

Felix winced as he glanced up from his position on the ground. His eyes immediately found their way to yours, and the shimmering emotion in them hit you like a devastating blow.

"P-please, don't," you choked out, completely ignoring the fact that—aside from your hood—your face was almost entirely exposed. But your plea fell on deaf ears as the guard failed to acknowledge you. His index finger dropped to hover over the trigger, a sadistic smirk spread across his lips, and your stomach churned violently in response.

Felix was going to die. 

The freckled boy with the stars in his eyes was going to die, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

Well, maybe one thing. 

Your trembling hands moved of their own accord, lifting to meet the thin fabric of your hood. A surge of alarm coursed through your veins when a second guard's voice rang out, "You there, freeze!"

Felix's expression dropped, pleading with you through the silent connection of your eyes to reconsider.

Chan didn't utter a single word, but you felt him tense beside you. 

You tuned them all out. 

With a shaky breath, a heavy heart, and all but one of the guards' guns now pointed in your direction, you lowered your hood. And in the fleeting moment before your face was fully revealed, you mouthed the words "I'm sorry" to Felix, hoping he would find some way to understand.

Hushed murmurs rose around you, filling the air. The guard who held Felix hesitated as he studied your face. His gaze was firm, eyes unblinking, as he traced along your features. His expression gradually shifted from uncertainty to recognition. And he smiled. He smiled—a sinister curl of his lips. Because he knew that by dragging you back to your father, he would secure a life of unimaginable wealth and resources—far beyond what anyone in the outer districts could ever imagine.

The instant your eyes met, a wave of recognition surged within you as well. Because although you'd never bothered to learn his name, his face, along with the devilish glint in his eyes, had been imprinted into your memory ever since the night of the raid. When he had whisked you away from the grand hall, separating you from Felix then, too.

The guard opened his mouth to speak and you instinctively reached for the knife in your waistband, bracing yourself for whatever was to come. But you would never get to know the words that fell from his lips, as his voice was instantly swallowed by the deafening crack of a gunshot that ripped through the air.

The guard beside him was struck, collapsing to the ground in a heap.

“What the-"

Whoever said it, you couldn’t be sure. 

You ducked down, instincts urging you to seek cover as a shower of bullets began to flood the air. When you lifted your head, you witnessed Felix waste no time in engaging the guard in a desperate struggle for control of the gun. You shifted, driven by the desire to help him, but it was almost as if he had anticipated your thoughts when he called out for you to “stay down, y/n!” 

Crouched on the ground with your hands above your head, you watched in awe as he overpowered the guard with surprising skill—moving with a fluidity that told you he had done this countless times before. As soon as he gained control of the weapon, Felix used the blunt end to deliver a blow straight to the guard's chest, sending him tumbling to the ground. He cocked the gun with a polished flick of his wrist, and the fallen guard raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.

With a single, split-second glance back to you, Felix turned and pointed it at the man’s head with chilling certainty.

And you looked away, burying your face in your hands, when he pulled the trigger.

The next think you knew, the next thing you remembered, Felix was at your side—arms encircling your upper body, a warm hand on the back of your neck. And although you thought you might have heard his voice reach out to you, thought maybe your name had fallen from his lips, it was impossible to make sense of anything over the ringing in your ears. 

Summoning the courage to peer through your fingers, you finally gained the opportunity to grasp hold of the situation as it played out before you.

Your eyes fell upon three figures, each armed with heavy weapons of their own, atop three stocky animals. Their presence suggested that the initial gunfire hadn’t come from any of the guards or the boys. And your jaw dropped when you glimpsed a flash of red hair.

Yeonjun.

It was Yeonjun, flanked by two unfamiliar individuals that you could only assume to be more of Hira’s people, seeking revenge for their fallen leader. 

Their arrival had thrown the entire situation into an unexpected twist, offering momentary relief for you and the boys. But the relief was short lived, because although Yeonjun and the others had secured the element of surprise, they too faced the critical disadvantage of being outnumbered.

Huddled over you, Felix let out a gasp as his own eyes locked with Yeonjuns. 

"Get out of here, Felix!" Yeonjun's strained voice pierced through the chaos.

Felix froze in disbelief, visibly astonished.

You tugged on his sleeve, but he remained motionless. You tried to speak, but no words came out. Time seemed to grind to a halt, and for a moment, it was as if it would never start again.

Until Chan's strong grip took hold of your arm.

"Come on!" he urged, determination filling his eyes as he pulled you with him. Felix, still dazed, stumbled to his feet beside you, and the three of you sprinted into the building, heartbeats pounding in rhythm with your steps.

Even after you'd made it inside, Felix's reluctance to leave Yeonjun behind was evident. You broke free from Chan's grasp when you noticed that he had come to a stop behind you. "Felix, we need to go," you pleaded as you rushed over to him, grabbing his hand to try and pull him with you.

"It's okay," you continued. But it wasn't. 

"They'll be alright," you added. But they wouldn't.

"Please, Felix," you implored, "I need you." And it wasn't until your trembling voice cracked with raw emotion on the final word that Felix finally yielded to your insistent tugging.

As soon as he gave way, your feet were in motion again. Together, you hurried through the building and emerged on the other side where your vehicles awaited. And you didn't even remember climbing onto the bike, but suddenly you were there, clinging to Felix for dear life as he revved the engine. With one last glance—first in the direction you had come, then down to you—he gritted his teeth and followed Chan’s lead.

As vehicles accelerated and sped off, your thoughts remained with Yeonjun and the others you had left behind. Fear transformed into guilt, a resounding guilt, that settled deep within your bones, intensifying further with every gunshot that pierced the night behind you.

You willed your eyes to remain open, determined to keep the trailing rover in your vision.

As the abandoned city dissolved into another terrifying nightmare, the memory of the first night you’d spent on the bike with Felix tugged at your heart. It left behind an ache that had you feeling like the foolish girl your father had called you once. Because that’s what you were—foolish, for allowing your feelings for Felix to develop in the way that they had.

Tonight’s close call had ripped away any illusion of control you thought you might’ve you had over your own emotions. If things had taken a different turn, if the guard had so much as twitched his ready finger and his loaded gun had fired against the back of Felix's head, would you have been able to deal with the aftermath? If you had lost Felix would you have been able to cope with the weight of his absence? To live with yourself after?

And what did it mean if you couldn’t?

You’d watched him shoot a man with raised hands tonight, and it should have frightened you—the ease with which he’d aimed the weapon and pulled the trigger. It was a stark reminder of the darkness that existed within him, but when his eyes met yours in that split second before he’d done it, they held an unmistakable air that his actions had been driven by a need to protect you. To protect you, and the rest of the boys, and so it only made you cling to him tighter. Because Felix didn’t need words to express that he was driven by a commitment to do whatever it took to ensure the safety of those he cared for—which you were now more than certain included yourself, too. A realization that left you torn between the undeniable feelings you had developed for him and the fear that you had crossed a line you were never meant to cross.

You couldn't escape the magnetic pull of his presence, yet you were acutely aware of the reality that hung over your heads. The circumstances, the world you inhabited, it was all designed to keep you apart. You knew it. He knew it. And not only did it force you to confront the painful truth that your relationship with Felix could never progress beyond its current state, it had you questioning whether or not your paths were even meant to cross in the first place.

It was an overwhelming thought, one that brought tears to your eyes for the second time that night.

When the first signs of dawn began to streak the sky above, Felix released his steady grip on the throttle. Chan caught up, and a signal passed between the two, prompting them to pull over nearby.

As the boys scrambled out of the vehicle, you caught sight of their expressions filled with shock and disbelief as they grappled with the weight of the close call. Chan raked his hands through his hair after his feet landed on the hard earth. “Too close, too fucking close,” he muttered, his words mirroring the thoughts in all of your minds. 

Jisung dropped to the ground, Changbin tilted his head to the sky, Hyunjin leaned wearily against the rover, and Jeongin remained seated inside—gripping onto Seungmin as Minho examined his injured foot. 

You stepped down from the motorcycle on unsteady legs, a residual effect of the adrenaline that had coursed through your veins during the escape. Felix dropped the bike with a loud thud, startling you when he spun around and placed his hands firmly on both of your shoulders. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Fuck, are you okay?” his words tumbled out in a rush, eyes darting up and down your figure.

You nodded frantically as your trembling hands peeled back the edges of his jacket to check for signs of injury. “Did you..A-Are you…” your voice shook, rendered speechless by the violent rush of emotions inside you. 

When Felix spoke again it was barely above a whisper. “I’m okay," he reassured you, taking gentle hold of your hands to guide them away from his body. You searched your palms for any signs of blood but they were clean—they were clean, and yet the compulsion to keep checking for hidden wounds persisted. 

“-Princess. I’m okay,” he repeated. And your actions drew the attention of the others but you paid no mind. As if the world had narrowed down to just the two of you, you were suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to tell Felix everything that had been gnawing at the edges of your consciousness. Starting with the fact that you would have thrown away any chance at saving the world tonight in order to keep him safe. Because nothing in your life had made sense before Felix. And you were certain that if the world were to take him from you now, your spirit would turn restless inside your bones—cursed to wander forever in search of what you had lost.

“-What the fuck happened back there?!” your thoughts were interrupted by Chan, his voice yanking you back from the edge of vulnerability you were about to tumble over. “Hira wouldn’t have turned us in to those guards, I know she wouldn’t have,” he added, brows knitting together as he wrestled with his desire to comfort Jeongin and his responsibility to discover the truth about what had just taken place.

Felix swung his gaze around to meet Chan's. “Hira is dead,” he stated flatly. “And you’re right, she isn’t the one who turned us in. It was...Yeonjun," he gulped, hesitating at the mention of the orange-haired boy.

“What?” Chan stammered. “H-how...and Yeonjun? He saved our asses back there. Why would he do that if.."

Guilt.

Although he did not say it out loud, Felix was certain it was the reason. Because he saw it there tonight, unmistakably present in Yeonjun's eyes. And Felix knew all too well that, for some, the mere thought of a lifetime plagued by guilt after making the wrong decision could be far more terrifying than death itself.

“They shot Hira, before we even made it outside,” Hyunjin chimed in. “I just can't wrap my head around how Yeonjun managed to double-cross us. It makes no sense. He was with us the entire time.”

“-Until we went to sleep,” Changbin interjected. And the group fell silent. A thick, uncomfortable silence, broken only by soft muttering from Minho’s direction as he tended to Jeongin’s foot. 

“So what, you think Yeonjun left to track down those guards after we went to sleep?” Jisung stood, joining the conversation. "How would he have known they were out there? We never told him we were running from them."

Chan's focus sharpened as he considered Jisung's words. “Felix..” he started, his tone cautious. “After we were separated from you and Hyunjin, how long was it before Yeonjun found you?”

"I dont know, maybe an hour?" Felix replied.

“What if Yeonjun came across the guards during that time?" Chan's voice was steady as he held the group's attention. "What if after Yeonjun left us with Hira, he was confronted by the guards? What if they threatened him and coerced him into admitting that he had seen us and knew where we were headed? Then they released him to find you two. He eventually brought you back to Clé, and they tracked his movement, waiting until nightfall to-” 

"-Wait a minute,” Hyunjin asserted. “Now that I think about it, Yeonjun was acting a bit strangely on the way to Cle. And maybe you would’ve realized it too, Felix, if you weren't so preoccupied with.." as he trailed off, Hyunjin's dark eyes met with yours, causing your breath to catch in your throat. He looked as if he had more to say, but before he could continue, he was interrupted by a sharp cry of pain from Jeongin.

The boys immediately abandoned the conversation, rushing to the side of the vehicle. You shifted on your feet, hesitating to join them because on some level, even after everything that had happened tonight, you still felt like an outsider.

Sensing your reluctance, Felix turned and met your eyes with a wordless invitation that urged you to come closer. Drawn by the invisible thread that seemed to connect the two of you, you positioned yourself between him and Jisung. As you stood between them, you couldn't help but notice how Felix shifted just a fraction closer to you. And although he kept his focus on Jeongin, you soon felt the gentle pressure of his shoulder against yours.

Inside the vehicle, Minho's inner conflict played out across his features. His gaze shifted rapidly between Jeongin's pale face and the sliver of glass firmly lodged in the sole of his shoe. “I can't just leave it embedded,” he voiced his concern aloud, directed at no one in particular. "It could lead to infection..I just can’t tell how deep its gone..”

Seungmin’s expression grew more strained as Jeongin squirmed uncomfortably in his arms. “What if you make it worse by trying to take it out?”

“We don’t really have a choice,” Minho responded, his medical instincts wrestling with the reality of your limited resources.

Chan’s fingers tapped an anxious rhythm against the side of the vehicle. "We should at least try to sterilize the area to buy us some time."

“Time for what? Everything we have is here,” Minho snapped, whipping around to face Chan as he gestured to the surrounding bags of supplies. 

Next to Chan, Hyunjin's expression furrowed as he glanced from Minho to Jeongin. “We aren't that far from Yellow Wood. We could go back, let it heal, and try again for Miroh when-”

“-If we sit still for too long now, they'll find us,” Minho stressed. “Besides, if we can actually make it to Miroh there might be medical supplies there that aren’t shit. But getting there will take days, and we can’t afford to leave it untreated for that long,” he added.

“T-take it out,” Jeongin whimpered, "Please, I can handle it." His gaze shifted across the faces of each of the boys, his trust in them evident even despite his pain. And when his eyes landed on you, your chest ached with the realization that he looked at you in the exact same way, with the same level of trust.

Chan leaned into the rover, placing his hand gently on Jeongin's shoulder where he offered a reassuring squeeze. "We're going to take care of you, okay? Just hang in there." His gaze shifted to Minho and a wordless exchange passed between them as the rest of the group shifted even closer, forming a tight circle around the vehicle.

As the boys began to offer their own words of encouragement, Minho glanced up, his piercing eyes locking hold of yours. “You. You have some medical training right?”

“Dude she has a name..” Jisung grumbled from beside you.

Minho shot him an irritated glance, clearing his throat before addressing you again. “y/n,” he pronounced your name with a sour undertone, as if it left an unpleasant taste on his tongue. "Do you or do you not have any medical training?”

He wasn't wrong to assume you would, given your background. Your father had always prioritized combat skills over healing, but you'd been given a fair share of private medical lessons too. And even if it was a limited amount, your knowledge of the subject undoubtedly surpassed that of any of the other boys.

Eager to help Jeongin in any way you could, you nodded. Minho motioned for you to join him inside the vehicle, and the protective glare that Felix shot his way gave you a much needed boost of confidence as you sat down beside him. 

Minho gave you a brief rundown of what he needed, his instructions clear and concise. In preparation, he handed Jeongin something to bite down on. And as he began, you couldn't help but admire the way his practiced hands moved.

As the wound became more apparent, you felt a slight twinge of unease. The quantity of blood was surprising, but upon closer inspection, you were relieved to find that the glass hadn't gone nearly as deep as you'd anticipated.

Jeongin's face contorted in pain as it was carefully extracted from the thin sole of his shoe and, subsequently, his foot. You worked in tandem with Minho, assisting with whatever you could, and the collective breath held by the group seemed to release in sync with the shard's removal. Minho held it up, allowing it to shimmer in the morning light before setting it aside.

As he moved on to stitch up the wound, the process felt excruciatingly slow. Your attention shifted back to Jeongin, cradled securely in Seungmin's hold, and you couldn't help but notice the way his hands clenched and unclenched against the seat beneath him. Without thinking, you reached to take the hand that was closest to you. His fingers relaxed as they laced with yours, and you could feel the warmth of his gratitude when he briefly opened his eyes to meet your own.

When you glanced up to Seungmin, he gave you a soft nod of approval over Jeongin’s shoulder.

After Minho had finished stitching the wound, the boys' attention gradually began to shift toward their next steps, driven by a shared sense of relief now that Jeongin's discomfort had been temporarily eased. 

You remained fully absorbed in helping Minho clean up—so focused that you barely caught the murmured "thank you," that came from where he sat beside you. You paused, convinced you hadn’t heard him correctly, until he added in a slightly louder tone, "You have a steady hand, y/n. You'd make a good medic."

Taken aback by his sudden appreciation, your eyes followed him as he stood. "Anybody seen any water?" he asked, scanning the vehicle's interior. Changbin handed him a canteen, which he promptly passed over to Jeongin.

After ensuring that Jeongin was as comfortable as possible, with the unexpected compliment from Minho still ringing in your ears, you stepped down from the rover.

Your eyes immediately found Felix, leaned against the vehicle with a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips. He took a step, but before he could close the distance between you, Jisung was at your side. “Nicely done, District nine. I knew you’d come in handy,” he grinned, giving you a solid pat to the back.

And then it was Chan’s turn to steal your attention. "y/n can you come look at this?" You swiveled around and he motioned for you to join him and Changbin where they had the map spread out across the hood of the rover.

When you turned back to Felix you found Hyunjin at his side, effectively blocking your view. With a small, resigned exhale through your nose, you made your way over to stand beside Changbin.

Chan asked for your help in determining the best route to take to get back on track—where your father’s guards would be less likely to follow. After thorough examination of the map, and a collaborative discussion between the three of you—with the occasional interjection from Minho—you reached a consensus.

After what had happened last night, crossing into more challenging terrain was deemed well worth the risk by all of you. And so the decision to alter your route was unanimous. You would head in the direction of a mountainous region that spanned across District 5, as it would make tracking your movements far more difficult.

With a plan in place, you glanced back at the motorcycle where Felix was now seated, tying his hair back.

He looked up as you approached. "You sure you don't want to go with them instead?” he asked, nudging his head in the direction of the rover. “You can sleep in the truck," he added.

You ignored his suggestion, making your choice known when you swung a leg over the bike and settled down behind him. You drew him closer, gently wrapping your arms around his waist. “I’m not tired, and i don’t plan on going anywhere,” you mumbled into his shoulder.

"But-" Felix began to protest. He turned to face you, but the words caught in his throat when you leaned in at the same time—your closeness catching him off guard.

“Just drive, Lix.” Your voice was soft, a murmured exhale against his lips. And you looked up to meet his eyes before pulling back to settle into his form. 

A pink blush crept up to his ears as he twisted around, glancing over his other shoulder to where the boys had piled into the rover a few feet away. “Yeah, right.." he stammered, eyes following the rover when it took off from your side, leaving a trail of dust in its wake. And a faint smile crossed your lips as Felix cleared his throat before manipulating the throttle and setting the bike into motion once again.

After several hours of uninterrupted travel, muted rays of buttery light filtered in through the clouds above as the sun began to set. The ground beneath you was etched with crevices and jutting stones, creating a labyrinth of rocky terrain that stretched on endlessly.

In the dying light, you found yourselves in search of shelter once again. Not necessarily because you couldn't keep moving at night—if anything you thought it would be smarter to travel under the cover of darkness—but every single one of you was beyond exhausted, and it showed.

It showed in the subtle swerve of the motorcycle when Felix's head dipped, snapping back up when you called his name. It showed in each set of drooping shoulders and even in the gradual slow of the vehicles, as if they too were struggling to keep up the pace.

On that particular evening, luck seemed to be on your side when you came upon a cave nestled snugly between a cluster of natural rock formations. With the vehicles secured just outside the entrance, the group collectively made their way inside.

Upon entering the cave, you were greeted by a cool, refreshing environment, a stark contrast to the toxic haze that loomed over District 6. Flashlights flickered on one-by-one, casting their light upon the walls to reveal a spacious chamber. Felix and Chan immediately set about the task of creating a fire and it wasn't long before the flames began to dance and crackle before their eyes. At the other end of the space, the uneven ground converged into a single pathway that drew your attention and you watched as Hyunjin, Changbin, and Jisung gravitated toward it.

Beckoned by your own curiosity, you glanced back to Chan who shot you an inquisitive look before tossing you his flashlight. "Don't go too far, yeah?" he cautioned, and you nodded in agreement.

Trailing the boys, you sensed the familiar weight of a pair of eyes on your back, following your every move until you slipped out of sight.  

The narrow passage came alive with rhythmic footsteps and the occasional murmur from up ahead, mostly Jisung. The sound of trickling water drew your attention and around the corner, a sudden widening revealed an open area where the rocky floor dipped down into a large basin, filled with crystal-clear water. It was a miniature oasis of sorts, a natural spring lit by glowing blue bioluminescence that lie nestled within the depths of the cave. The water's surface sparkled beneath a crevice in the ceiling through which you could see the moon.

The boys rushed forward, cupping their hands to sip the cool water, splashing it across their faces and arms. When you bent down to fill a canteen from your backpack, you were caught off guard by the sudden sight of your reflection in the water’s rippling surface.

A layered film of dirt and sweat clung to your skin, deep shadows had formed underneath your sunken eyes, and your once-tamed hair was now in complete disarray. It would have been a harrowing sight for anyone from District 9 to see themselves in such a state, and yet, oddly enough, you liked the way you looked like this. A raw version of your former polished self, without the vibrant makeup and suffocating clothing that had always left your skin feeling itchy and irritated. Stripped of the insincere smile you had been forced to wear throughout your life, you looked like you. A bit worn out, sure. But you embraced it wholeheartedly because it was the first time you truly felt as if you belonged among the boys.

As your eyes swept back and forth, another presence began to emerge from your appearance—your father. Subtly etched into the lines of your face, the shape of your nose, the color of your eyes—almost as if your own features were mocking your attempts to distance yourself from him. Because he was there, and he always would be. You could run from him as much as you liked, forever even, but you would never be able to escape your own reflection.

When the boys stood, you did the same, gaze lingering on the water's surface for a last second. Turning to leave, you were surprised to find Jisung waiting a short distance away. The blue tint cast a beautiful glow against his face, accentuating the gentle curve of his cheeks and the warmth in his eyes. The metal piercing in his eyebrow glinted in the faint light. "We can stay a bit longer, if you'd like," he offered.

There was an attractive sincerity about Jisung that had always intrigued you, but your eagerness to leave behind your reflection overpowered the allure. With a subtle shake of your head, you let out a small “’s okay," followed by a tender smile which he returned.

You moved at a slow pace, shoulder to shoulder, guided by the light from your flashlights as you winded back through the passage. Jisung kicked a pebble, and your eyes followed its movement. After a subtle clearing of his throat, he eventually broke the silence. "It was really cool, what you did for Jeongin earlier.”

You shrugged, inadvertently meeting his eyes. "I didn't do much...just followed what Minho told me."

Jisung responded without hesitation. "Yeah, but I know it means a lot to Jeongin. And to Minho, to finally have someone who knows what they’re doing that can help him."

"Does it? Because I think he kind of hates me.." your brows knitted together, and a gentle smile tugged at Jisung's lips.

"Minho doesn't hate you, he's just cautious," he said, returning his gaze back to the path ahead. “And I know he might come off as distant, but there's more to him beneath the surface."

Beneath the surface.

You were no stranger to what lay beneath that surface. Because your connection to Minho existed whether either of you wanted it to or not, born from the shared roots of District 9. And along with it came a shared understanding of a part of the world that, out of the nine of you, only you two could truly comprehend.

“Just give him some time, he’ll come around,” Jisung continued, accompanied by a sympathetic smile.

"Thanks, Ji. I really hope you're right.”

As soon as the nickname escaped your lips, Jisung’s expression dropped. A range emotions crossed his features. His eyes held yours for a moment, and within them you detected profound longing, tinged with traces of sorrow and grief. Unspoken, but undeniably present.

"Ji," he chuckled softly, a sad sound. "No one's called me that in a really long time."

"Well it suits you," you offered, scanning his face.

His eyes took on a glossy sheen, and his lips curled up into something bittersweet. "Yeah, I guess it does," he replied. After a moment, he blinked away the emotion and shifted the conversation. “So..want to tell me what the hell's been going on between you and Felix?"

Your foot caught suddenly on a rock, and you reached out instinctively for Jisung to steady yourself as heat flooded your cheeks. "I-uh..what about us?" Your gaze nervously darted away as you stumbled over your words.

A wistful grin tugged at the corner of Jisung’s lips. "Come on, I'm not blind. I've noticed things, you know? Subtle glances..the way he looks at you."

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” you questioned, recalling when Chan had told you the very same thing in the forest outside of Yellow Wood.

I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. Never. Not anyone.

Jisung chuckled lightly in response. "Well, usually when everyone notices the same thing, it means there's some truth to it," he mused.

"Or maybe everyone's just reading too much into it."

"Whatever you say," Jisung shrugged. "I guess we’re just not used to Felix looking at anyone in a way that doesn't suggest he wants them dead. Usually he's..Well by now I'm sure you know how he is."

"Yeah," you affirmed, "I know how he is. The second time we ever spoke was while he had a knife pressed to my throat."

“He what?"

"Long story," you said. Although, in reality, the story was actually quite simple. And you'd never held it against Felix. After all, what else was he supposed to do when he'd come face to face with the daughter of the man who wanted nothing more than to see all of them dead.

"That reminds me," Jisung started, twisting the flashlight around in his hand. "I always wondered how you guys met.”

"He didn't tell you?"

Jisung shook his head vigorously in response. "Let's just say every time one of us would bring it up he'd turn bright red and shut down the conversation immediately, usually by fleeing to the rooftop."

You laughed at the mental image of Felix escaping in embarrassment whenever the topic of your first meeting was raised. "I guess it is a bit complicated.”

"You know..someone told me once that sometimes things are complicated because we're afraid of what's simple," Jisung replied.

You brought your bottom lip between your teeth as you considered his words. A comfortable silence settled between you, and you didn’t feel the need to respond.

The conversation concluded as you returned to camp. Felix looked up immediately upon your arrival, his eyes briefly meeting yours before glancing away. "See what I mean?"Jisung leaned over to whisper into your ear. A knowing smile tugged at his lips, and he winked at you before his steps carried him away from your side.

With a playful roll of your eyes, you walked over to Jeongin and offered him the canteen you had filled with water from the spring. His face brightened, although the weariness remained etched into his features. After taking a few generous gulps, he returned the canteen and nestled closer to Minho's side. The older boy's presence seemed to provide him with a sense of security as his eyelids drooped and he drifted off to sleep.

Across the fire, the rest of the boys rummaged through a sizable bag of supplies in search of anything to alleviate their hunger for the night. You found a quiet spot to claim for yourself. Sinking down against the cavern wall, you brought your legs upward as hushed chatter began to fill the chamber.

Felix couldn't help but steal a few glances in your direction as he tended to the fire. A sharp pang of jealousy resonated throughout him when he watched the way your eyes followed Jisung's reaction to something Changbin said, a wide smile forming on your lips in response to his infectious laughter. Felix didn't need to wonder what you thought of Jisung. Of course you liked him, it was impossible not to. And he couldn't even blame you for it because it was only natural that someone like you would be drawn to someone like Jisung.

After the group had eaten and settled in around the fire, Chan took the opportunity to share his first memory of Hira. He depicted her as a neutral force—neither entirely good nor entirely corrupt—but someone whom, for whatever reason, he'd always felt that he could trust.

When he'd finished, Chan passed the conversation to Jisung who proceeded to share a story about a mishap he and Seungmin encountered last winter, during a supply run in the same abandoned city you'd crossed through last night. The story involved a ridiculous chase through the streets, with Jisung somehow ending up as the hero. But Seungmin couldn't resist chiming in. "Hold on, hold on," he raised a hand with a sly grin, "Let's be real, less than half of that actually happened.”

Jisung responded with an exaggerated roll of his eyes, a playful retort forming on his lips as he prepared to continue the banter. Before he could, Felix chimed in. "Making things up again, Han? This sounds a lot like the time we all found out you can't actually tell edible plants from poisonous ones,” he teased. His eyes shimmered in the firelight, and when he smirked you couldn't help but appreciate the way it accentuated his canines.

Jisung let out an exasperated gasp. "I told you I was still learning!”

"I threw up for a week straight after you insisted it was safe to eat those purple berries! I thought I was going to die!" Seungmin exclaimed, failing to control his laughter.

Jisung threw his hands up in defeat. “Who even needs to know which plants are safe to eat when you can just charm your way into getting free supplies?" A sly grin fell across his lips but it vanished when Changbin added, “That only happened once, and wasn't it Hyunjin that actually did the talking? Pretty sure you just stared at your feet the whole time because you couldn't even make eye contact with the girl.” 

Changbin’s response elicited chuckles from the entire room, yourself included. With a dramatic huff, Jisung turned and lie down on his side with his back to the group. He feigned annoyance, but was unable to hide his own amusement as his shoulders shook with gentle laughter.

After the excitement died down, Minho's soft-spoken voice broke the silence. He recalled a late night conversation with Jeongin not too long ago that had unexpectedly evolved into a heart-to-heart about their shared fears. When he was finished, he glanced down in fondness at the sleeping boy nestled against his side.

You leaned your head against the rock, allowing your eyes to close as Hyunjin began to share about a distant memory that involved his mother, with whom he'd spent some time in a cave like the one you found yourselves in now—before they had gotten separated. As he spoke, you tried your hardest to recall just one single memory of your own mother, but you were unable to move past a particular phrase that continued to linger in your thoughts.

You look just like her.

And then it hit you. A sudden blow, like a dagger straight to the heart.

What if Hira hadn't been speaking in general terms, about a woman from her past that you resembled.

What if she had been referring to your mother.

Your eyes snapped open and your posture straightened away from the wall as you tried to put it all together in your mind. You'd stopped asking questions about your mother a very long time ago, due to the anger that rose within your father at the faintest mention of her. He refused to speak about her, and so you had created a simplified narrative of your own—that she had been plucked from the residents of District 9 to marry your father for her social standing and wealth. But what if there was more to her, and your own origins, than you had ever thought possible.

Felix, who had been lying with his hands behind his head a short distance away, picked up on the change in your demeanor. Concern flickered in his eyes as he sat up.

"Hey, you good?" Chan's voice echoed from across the room as you realized that the rest of the group had fallen silent, their attention now fixed on you.

You managed a soft smile in an attempt to mask the intensity of your thoughts. "Yeah..just tired."

"Maybe its time we all get some rest," Chan responded.

As his suggestion was met with a general consensus of agreement from the group you cast a glance back at Felix. The fire's dwindling glow traced his features with delicate strokes, accentuating the furrow between his brow and the subtle tension in his jaw, before the flames were extinguished by Chan.

Ten minutes, twenty, an hour.

You tossed and turned repeatedly as restlessness consumed your mind, preventing you from succumbing to the fatigue that gripped your aching muscles. When soft snores began to fill the darkness, envy stirred within you at the boys' ability to find solace.

Maybe they were just desensitized to it all—the constant brushes with death, the daily ritual of having to bury their fears again each morning when they woke. Maybe with time you would grow used to it too. But tonight, the weight of it all, combined with the mystery surrounding Hira's final message had left you without any chance at falling asleep.

And although you didn't want to admit it, the notion slowly crept into your mind that the only reason you had gotten any sleep at all the past few nights was because of Felix. Especially last night—his steady heartbeat, protective embrace, and the comforting warmth of his body heat lulling you into a sense of security. 

Maybe he wouldn't notice if you inched a bit closer..Just so you could manage a few hours..

A frustrated sound escaped your lips as you banished the thought, because it wasn’t fair to rely on Felix to chase away the darkness when you couldn't bear to face it alone. He had his own battles to fight, his own burdens to carry, and if he was going to drive the motorcycle then he probably needed the sleep more than you anyway.

Your eyes failed to adjust to the darkness when you sat up. Cut off from any sense of place and time, the air around you suddenly felt so thin, so scarce, making it difficult to draw in a steady breath. Your skin prickled as if tiny insects had begun to dig their way into your flesh, and you couldn't get it out of your head. 

All of it.

Your mother, nothing but the faded memory of a woman with a face you hadn't known long enough to remember. Your father, with a face you would never forget, because it chased you in your own reflection. Hira's lifeless stare, empty and cold. The knowing look in Yeonjun's eyes when you left him behind to die. And Felix, who, even with a loaded gun pressed against his head looked to you as if your safety would always be far more important to him than his own.

“It gets easier with time."

You jolted, startled by a sudden voice that broke the silence.

“Falling asleep, I mean. It gets easier with time,” he repeated. His tone a calm and steady contrast to the turmoil in your mind.

"Then why are you still awake?" you remarked, lowering your voice to a whisper to keep from disturbing the sleeping boys around you. 

Felix let out a soft sigh. His gentle breath mingled with the darkness that enveloped you both, and you sensed movement as he sat up somewhere close by.

“I didn’t say it gets easy, just easier. Besides..” he paused, a long pause. Hoping you wouldn’t be able to sense the struggle he faced to keep his emotions in check. "How am i supposed to sleep when you're breathing so heavily…it's distracting," he finally settled on. And you couldn't help but scoff at his feeble attempt at masking whatever it was that he actually wanted to say.

As the silence stretched on, the uncomfortable sensation of needing to escape your own skin grew unbearable, driving you to your feet.

"Where are you-"

"-The dirt, the sweat, the blood, I need to get it off. I just need to get it off." Without waiting for a response, you fumbled through the darkness. Your fingers met the coarse stone wall at your side, and you trailed along it as soft footsteps began to echo from somewhere behind you.

Cool mist fell against your skin as pitch-black was steadily replaced by calming blue. In the soft ethereal glow, you stepped over to the waters edge where you lifted your shirt and slipped out of your pants. All the while, your senses were acutely aware of Felix's presence behind you, his watchful eyes glued to your backside. He could have chosen to let you wander off alone, but some part of you knew he couldn't resist. And selfishly, you liked that.

When you entered the water it rippled around your waist. The coldness sent shivers throughout your body, but it was invigorating. A welcome sensation against skin that seemed to burn tonight. You took a deep breath, letting the weight of the past twenty four hours wash away when you submerged yourself beneath the surface. The water welcomed you into a desensitizing embrace and for a moment, only as long as you could hold your breath, the unpleasant images in your mind and your fears surrounding the war outside were replaced by complete and utter silence. Nothing at all.

You resurfaced facing Felix. His eyes trailed up and down your half naked form, lingering a bit too long on the places his hands always went first. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized that he was approaching. When he lifted his shirt, you couldn't help but take the opportunity to glance over the contours of his sculpted abdomen. He let himself down into the water and the soft splashes of his movements filled the silence between you.

“Maybe you should just…stay over there," you mumbled, averting your gaze from his chest.

You wanted him close, that you couldn't deny. But hours had passed since last night, and your panic had since died down—giving way to frustration once more. And it wasn't even about him nearly losing his life, it was about how that near-loss had stirred a depth of emotion within you that you could no longer control. You were frustrated with him for almost getting killed again, something that (this time) he'd had absolutely no control over. But you were even more frustrated with yourself for letting it affect you in the way that it had.

Felix raised his hands defensively, abiding by your demand to keep some distance. When he sank down into the water, the tips of his hair skimmed the surface.

"Princess..you alright?" his sudden inquiry caught you off guard. It was his tone, laced with genuine concern, that caused your heart to pound beneath the surface of your calm exterior. 

No, I'm not alright. 

Nothing about what happened last night is alright, you thought.

"Yeah, I'm managing," you said.

His lips curved upward, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Managing, huh? Guess you’re tougher than you look."

You rolled your eyes, a smile tugging at your own features when you responded. “And you? What about you?"

"I've been through worse,” he trailed off. A veil of shadows fell over his features and suddenly, Felix felt miles away. Worlds apart, as if he had been transported to some distant realm of memories that he would have given anything to forget.

“Chan told me a little..what you’ve been through is more than most people could handle, you know?” you hesitated, questioning if it was the right decision to acknowledge your awareness of his past. But the divide between you had always felt easy to bridge in moments like this, when it was just the two of you. Sometimes leading you to forget that it had even existed at all.

"He shouldn't have said-"

"-But I'm glad he did," you interrupted. "And I might not understand it all but I do know know that none of it is your fault, Felix."

Felix let out a bitter scoff, a defensive edge to his tone when he responded. “You don't know anything,” his eyes flickered back to you, and in them you saw a glimpse of the pain he carried beneath. When you took a step forward he retreated with a single stroke of his arms in the water—a reflexive withdrawal.

And then he sighed heavily, noting the subtle trace of hurt in your expression at his retreat. "I'm sorry..it's just..thinking about it, talking about it, its not easy for me."

“It’s okay,” you offered, making a conscious effort to ignore the compulsion to reach out and wrap him in your arms. To reassure him over and over again that he didn’t deserve the things he had been through. To make it clear that, in your eyes, Felix would never be to blame for his past. 

Felix cleared his throat, his desire to avoid the subject prompting him to redirect the conversation. “What was that earlier with you? Around the fire."

Unsure of how much to reveal, you hesitated again, mindlessly tracing shapes on the surface of the water. "I think..there might be the possibility of a connection between my mother..and..Hira.”  

Felix's expression transformed as he scanned your face in bewilderment. “What? What kind of connection?"

“Hira said I looked just like 'her', Felix, and I don't know why but I can't shake the feeling that she was talking about my mother."

"You think Hira knew your mother?” his mouth fell open, he looked at you as though you had completely and utterly lost your mind, and you really couldn't blame him.

“You heard her, you saw the way she looked at me," you pressed.

“Look, princess,” he insisted, drawn closer when he noticed the trace of sadness in your eyes at the mention of your mother. “I know Chan talks about her like she was a saint, but the woman was a lunatic. She didn't have any idea what she was talking about half the time, so don’t overthink it. Hira dealt with people from the outer districts, and she never went to District nine herself. It’s impossible.”

"Yeah..you're probably right." Mimicking his earlier movement, you lowered yourself in the water until it enveloped your shoulders.

After a moment you drew in a breath. When you went to speak, Felix did the same. Your words collided in the narrow space between you, and he chuckled softly, a warm sound that filled your ears. “You first,” he said.

"Today was..” you paused to recollect your thoughts, pursing your lips in concentration.

“I know,” he sighed. “It was a close call. We don’t have to talk about it.”

“Yes we do,” you asserted. “We should. I don’t know how any of you do this. Its like one minute everything’s fine and the next.." you let out a frustrated exhale before continuing, “And then they're just able to sleep like nothing happened?! Its like you’re all fearless.” 

Felix's lips quirked into a small, sympathetic smile as he inched closer. “Fearless? Nah, its just survival, princess. You get used to it, you learn to move forward." His voice lowered before he added, "Even when you’re afraid.”

As you considered his words, you found yourself studying his eyes in search of a glimpse of his inner thoughts. Had Felix felt fear today when he was leading the chase from the guards? When Jeongin was injured? When the cold metal of the gun touched his skin?

“I wish I had that kind of strength,” you admitted.

“You’ve got your own kind of strength," he began. “You're here aren't you? And you had no problem revealing yourself to those guards last night. Why did you do that?" 

You felt your cheeks warm as you looked down, gliding your hands through the water. "Isn't it obvious?" When he didn't respond, you sighed, glancing up to meet his eyes again. “I just thought that maybe it would buy all of you a chance at making it out of there alive."

"Exactly. And every single one of them recognizes that,” he stated, nudging his head in the direction of the passage that led back to the sleeping boys.

“But it still doesn't mean they trust me, right? Still doesn't guarantee that they ever will?" you returned, raising a single eyebrow.

Felix rolled his eyes, and when they reconnected with yours you held his stare, narrowing your gaze. "I shouldn't have said that," he muttered.

Felix was incredibly difficult to read, most of the time, but something about the sincerity in his tone and the pause in his speech made you believe that he really did regret what he’d said that night in Yellow Wood, about how the others might never trust you.

"No, you shouldn't have. But it’s okay." You shifted closer, and with the distance between you now almost nonexistent, even the atmosphere felt alive—charged with pulsing energy, as the water flowed like an electric current between you, prompting you to reach up and drape your arms around his neck.

As if your actions had given him permission, his own hands instantly found their way to your waist. Your legs lifted to wrap around him and the water responded with soothing ripples around your bodies.

With you in his arms, Felix stood. He waded backward until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the spring where he settled down against a makeshift seat embedded within the natural contours of the rock.

Straddling his waist, you brushed the hair from his neck and laid your head down in its place. Splaying a hand against his chest, you felt for the steady strength of his heartbeat beneath your palm. And you stayed like that for quite some time, drifting in and out of a light sleep as he traced idle shapes across your back. 

After a while, your eyes fluttered open. “Lix?” 

“Yeah?” his voice was a low murmur in your ear, soft and attentive.

“Promise me something?” you breathed.

Anything, he thought. 

“What is it?” he said.

"Promise me you’ll try to be more careful from now on? Because..I don't think I could handle it..if..” you lifted your head from his shoulder as the words hung between you like a fragile, fragile thread. The confession was like a heated blade in your throat, searing it raw, and you let it burn. Because you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words that followed, paralyzed once again by the weight of your unspoken feelings.

But you didn't need to say anything further, because to Felix, it was obvious what you were implying.

I need you.

Your words from last night echoed in his mind. He remembered how desperate you sounded, how you'd pulled him with you as if your life depended on it.

He searched your face in a desperate attempt to understand how someone like you could ever be so concerned with the safety of someone like him. And he wondered if it was because, perhaps, you still couldn't see it—the stains of the choices he had made, etched into his soul. He wondered if he had allowed himself to become too wrapped up in his own feelings, creating a version of himself in your eyes that was far more forgiving than the truth.

When silence between you grew, his lips parted slightly as if he wanted to speak.

In another life, one in which Felix saw himself differently, he would have promised to be by your side for as long as you wanted him there. He would’ve kissed you deeply, and he never would have let you go.

In another life, it might have been the moment Felix realized that he was meant to love you.

But in this life, in this harsh reality, a silent battle raged on inside Felix—torn between his selfish desire for you and the instincts that kept him alive. He knew he couldn't promise you a life without danger, and he certainly couldn't guarantee you his survival. But goddammit Felix wanted nothing more than to swear that he would do everything in his power to try and stay alive. For you.

Overwhelmed by his feelings, your close proximity, and the fact that last night he had been come closer to death than he had in a very long time, Felix surrendered to that powerful, selfish desire.

"Yeah-" the word caught in his throat, as if he was afraid of what came next. Cupping your face with one of his hands, he added, "I promise.”

You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, embracing the warmth of his palm against your skin and the reassurance in his grip.

"Besides," you started. “You can’t leave me alone with them. I'm pretty sure Minho and Hyunjin would plot to kill me in my sleep or something.” A soft giggle escaped your lips, and Felix couldn't help the wide, toothy grin that spread across his face at your attempt to lighten the mood.

“Please, Jisung would never let them,” he returned. And your raised eyebrows prompted him to continue. "I'm serious, in fact Jisung would probably prefer to have you all to himself," he insisted. And then, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, Felix gave a sudden squeeze to your ass with both hands that caused your eyes to widen. 

"Oh really? Is that so?" Your fingers lightly traced a pattern on his bare chest as he hummed in agreement. "I don't know..maybe I should ask him myself just to be sure. You think he'd like to join us?" With a teasing smirk, you released your hold on Felix, stepping back down into the water and turning to face the direction you'd come from. Cupping your hands around your mouth, you began to call out "JI-"

"-Shhhh," the water splashed when Felix lunged forward. His arms encircled you from behind, grazing the underside of your breasts as he captured you in a sudden embrace. And a squeal escaped your lips when he pulled you with him beneath the water's surface. Coming up for air, you retaliated with a splash that sent a wave of water in his direction. His laughter echoed off the walls, deep and genuine. It was a sound you hadn't heard before, and yet, it felt as if you had been craving it for a lifetime. Soft crinkles formed around his eyes, and you wove another precious memory of the freckled boy into your mind.

Felix shook the water from his hair before catching you again. Your arms naturally reclaimed their place around his neck, your legs came back up to wrap around his waist, and the water rippled around your shoulders.

As you held each others eyes, his amusement gradually gave way to a more thoughtful expression. 

“You know," he began, "Jisung..he uh..lost someone once. I think that’s why he’s like that with you, I think you remind him of her." 

His words carried solemn weight, offering a touch of insight into why Jisung had trusted you from the very beginning. And a simple “Oh” was all you could manage in response, your heart breaking at the thought of Jisung carrying such pain beneath his hopeful, kindhearted exterior.

“But he’s better now, he's come a long way since then, mostly thanks to Minho,” he added. His expression revealed the traces of another painful memory, before he willed it away. 

With you still in his arms, Felix reclaimed his spot against the edge of the spring. Perched just above the water's surface with his back supported by the rock and his legs dipping into the soothing water.

And while you considered his disclosure about Jisung's past, you realized that you had never truly known loss. You had forgotten your mother—had no memories of her touch, her scent, the sound of her voice—and because you had never really known her it had been a relatively easy loss, if any ever was.

You had lost Jisoo, but it was a different kind of loss—a choice you had willingly made that you hoped you would come to forgive yourself for some today.

But the mere thought of being forced to lose the boy with the stars in his eyes was crippling. You couldn't bear the thought of those stars fading away, because he looked to you like you were the one that had put them there. And it terrified you that some day he would pay the ultimate price for it, leaving you behind to grapple with a new kind of loss that you weren't sure you would have the strength to overcome.

"What?" Felix said, catching the intensity in your eyes as your fingers reached to play with the hair at the back of his neck.

“You almost died today," you stated. "For real this time."

His expression furrowed, and a gentle crease appeared on his forehead before gradually easing away. "Well..yeah," he shrugged, "I'm still here, though."

Here. With you.

You shifted underneath his stare, trying to reach a more comfortable position. Your hands found their way to one of his, guiding it to rest in your lap where you played with his rings absentmindedly. 

Sensing your restlessness, Felix gently ceased the movement of your hands when he intertwined his fingers with yours.

“I don’t know how to do this,” you blurted. “And I'm scared, Felix. I'm scared that I’m too weak to handle it. That its going to get all of you killed.”

Felix frowned slightly before drawing you closer. “We all have weaknesses, princess," his eyes fell briefly to your lips before continuing. “Chan wants to save the whole goddamned world, and he gets so wrapped up in it that he forgets to take care of himself, too. Han—Jisung, I mean, trusts too easily. And Minho doesn’t trust enough, even when he should. Changbin is reckless as hell, if you think I’m bad, you should've seen him when we first met. Jeongin doesn’t want to hurt anyone, so he hesitates in situations where it puts his life at risk. And Seungmin is too damn smart for his own good, and he knows it, so his confidence gets the best of him sometimes."

He shook his head and you brought a hand up to swipe the stray droplets of water that fell down onto his cheeks, fingertips mapping out the constellations painted underneath. He closed his eyes in response, tilting his head as he welcomed your touch.

A brief, heart-pounding silence hung between you before you dared to speak again. “What about you, Felix? What’s your weakness?”

The freckled boy tensed beneath you. His jaw clenched, and for a long time he held his silence. Just when you began to brace yourself for the possibility that he might not respond, his eyelids gently lifted. His hands rose to cup your face, one of his thumbs traced your upper lip, and in another life you would have stopped him from saying the words that followed.

“You, princess. My weakness is you.”

You blinked, opening your mouth just to close it again. When Felix leaned in closer, you turned your head, causing his lips to lightly graze along the side of your jaw. "I thought I'd already be dead, if it were up to you," you mumbled.

“I shouldn't have said that..either," he stated. And when he pulled back to meet your gaze, there was a familiar intensity in his eyes. Felix looked to you like he did every time he wanted to fuck you, but there was more behind it now.

"You did say it, though. You said it, and you meant it," you pressed.

But you were wrong.

And it was driving Felix insane.

Because he was well aware of the simple fact that he should have meant it. That it should have been easy for him to hate you. After all, he'd never had a problem directing his disdain toward the world and its inhabitants. But there was something that stopped him from casting that hatred upon you. No matter how hard he tried.

"I wanted to mean it," he breathed.

And it was on that night, sheltered deep within a cave on the outskirts of District 6, that you realized what the others had meant when they spoke about the way Felix looked at you. As his deep brown eyes bore into your soul, they spoke volumes about the complexity of his feelings, far more than words ever could. That night, your feelings intertwined with his, and you did nothing to stop it. Shared vulnerability bled into deep affection and for the first time you chose to overlook the danger that came with it.

“Its driving me crazy, pretending I’m okay every time you get hurt. You do realize that, right?” you exhaled, reaching for the fading red handprints on his neck. But Felix intercepted your hand before it could make contact with his skin. Bringing it up to his lips, he kissed it softly.

“I’m sorry," he leaned in to press another open kiss your shoulder. It was gentle, it felt good, so you let him. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” his warm hands trailed up and down your back, chasing away the chill that had settled over your body, so you let them.

Felix knew he wasn’t good for you. He knew you deserved someone like Jisung, who would be able to bring out the best in you without even trying. Someone like Chan who you could grow with. Or Minho, who would challenge you to reach your full potential. But Felix was none of those things. Instead, he was selfish. Selfish, and pathetic, and cruel. And despite the fact that he knew it, despite the fact that he hated himself for it, he just couldn’t help the feeling he got every single time you looked at him like he was the only one you wanted.

Felix hated every part of himself, except for you.

"Tell me we shouldn’t do this,” you kissed him. A gentle kiss, pressed lightly to his bottom lip.

"We shouldn't," he exhaled against your lips.

"Tell me you mean it," you pleaded.

"I can't," is all he said.

And it was all you needed to hear.

You met his lips again and Felix eagerly fell into the kiss. He slid his tongue in your mouth and swiped it against yours, causing a breathy moan to escape you. His hands wandered up your sides where he squeezed lightly. Your teeth clashed, and when you pulled away for a breath he chased your lips with his own.

“Never again, remember?” you whispered, dragging your fingers along his temple, pushing back his hair.

“When I said that I didn't mean..I-I just meant that.." his eyes fell to your lap as he trailed off, making you aware of the slow grinding motion your hips had begun to trace against the growing bulge in his underwear. 

A small sound of pleasure rose in his throat when you added pressure to your movement. You leaned in, your noses brushed, but before you could kiss him again Felix threw you off by widening the gap between his legs.

"What're you…"

“Use me, princess. I don't see anything wrong with that, do you?" 

You hated the cocky expression he wore when he flexed the muscles of his thigh. You hated it, and before you knew it you were straddled around his left leg, silently cursing the thin material of your underwear as it was the only thing that separated your pooling heat from the bare skin on his thigh. 

The gasp you let out turned to a whimper as he took hold of your hips and began to guide your pace, bobbing his leg underneath you. When your eyes fell to the obvious tent in his underwear, you pulled one of his hands away from your body to press his own palm down against it.

"Touch yourself, Felix. I don’t see anything wrong with that, do you?” 

His breath hitched when you squeezed the hand over his bulge, and your pace slowed as you watched him comply. Bringing his hand up, he shoved his underwear down just enough to take out his hard cock, such a pretty cock, with a pretty pink tip. And you fought the urge to run your tongue along it—to taste the salty release.

Felix leaned back, locking eyes with you as he began to stroke himself, making your aching pussy involuntarily clench around nothing. When he bucked his hips up into his fist, you hissed at the sudden movement of his thigh. Your eyes followed the slow motion of his wrist, and as his thumb began to circle the tip, you decided that you couldn't fucking stand it anymore.

You leaned over and forcefully turned his head, placing a sloppy, wet kiss to his already parted lips. A rumble escaped his throat, and sweet, husky moans filled your mouth when you replaced the hand on his cock with your own.

It wasn't enough. It could have been, you knew you were close. One more flex of his thigh, a few more swipes against your sensitive clit, would have you tumbling over the edge. But his cock in your hand would never compare to how it felt stuffed inside your pussy. 

Felix let out another low moan that turned into a chuckle when he watched the way your glossy eyes followed your hand as it moved up and down his throbbing length. "You know, you’re more than welcome to sit on my cock princess, if you think you can control yourself."

“Do you think you can control yourself if I don't let you touch me while I do it?" you managed.

Felix smirked in response, a dangerous smirk, dark eyes full of lust as he raised his hands dramatically before setting them down at his sides. And then your fingers were in his hair, trailing down his body, drawing a path with your touch. You pulled yourself back over to straddle his lap, and Felix moaned louder than you did when you pushed your panties to the side and sank down onto his thick length. Without giving yourself time to adjust, the burn from the stretch had you struggling to catch your breath, dizzy with pleasure.

Felix kept his hands at his sides as his hooded eyes trained to your chest. Sensing that he wanted to touch you there, you slipped out of your bra, cupping your breasts to tease him. He watched intently with his tongue between his teeth, and when your walls fluttered around him he let out a deep growl as his cock pulsed inside you.

Your fingers followed his eyes when they dropped down to where your bodies met—to your clit, where you began to rub lazy circles, causing his hands to twitch at his sides.

When he noticed the bulge in your lower abdomen, visible proof of how deeply he was buried inside of you, Felix thought he was going to lose his mind at the sight. His head fell back, and his Adam's apple bobbed as he tried to keep from painting your walls with his cum right then and there.

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, there was a calm sea of black in place of the stars. 

“I can feel how bad your pussy wants me to touch you, angel.” When you opened your mouth to protest, he stole a kiss from your lips, swallowing your words before continuing. “To wrap my fingers around your throat,” you shuddered when he brought a hand up to your neck, but he didn’t make contact with your skin. Instead, he used the hand to reach around and grab a fistful of your hair at the roots. You let out a whimper when he jerked your head to the side before leaning in to whisper against your ear. “To fuck you dumb on my cock.”

You moaned again and a strained “fuck” fell from his lips when you shifted in a desperate attempt to feel him move inside you. When he let go of your hair, you dropped your head to his neck, and your hums mixed together in a symphony of pleasure as you began to rock your hips. Shamelessly giving in to your body's desire.

“Ah shit, just like that," he groaned, squeezing his hands into fists where they hovered at your sides. The twisting pressure in your core had you whimpering into the hot skin at his neck, “touch me, touch me please,” and Felix wasted no time. He roughly grabbed your hips and slammed himself up into you, shushing the soft cries that spilled from your lips as a result. "Such a good girl princess, gonna let me take care of you now?"

You nodded, preparing for him to thrust into you again, but Felix did something unexpected instead.

He lifted you up over the edge of the spring, and you clung to him as he laid you down on top of the clothing you had shed before getting into the water. It provided a barrier between you and the cold surface of the ground, and once he was satisfied and made sure that you were comfortable, he ripped your panties off and dragged the flushed tip of his cock back to your entrance, parting your folds.

And Felix thought it was cute, when you looked up at him with big shiny doe eyes waiting for him to take you. So sweet, so innocent. And something about it made him want to ruin you until you cried, just so he could be the one to wipe your tears.

"Don't forget who owns this pretty pussy, sweetheart," he growled hot against your ear as his cock pressed at the entrance of your needy hole. You let out a pathetic whine when he stopped his movement.

"Please, it hurts," you begged, squirming underneath his hold as your release leaked out around his tip. 

"Tell me who owns this cunt, and I might just give you what you want," he huffed.

Your nails dug into his skin, tears pricking at your eyes as you whimpered, “Y-you do."

“C’mon baby I know you can do better than that. Say my name, sweetheart.”

“F-Felix...you do Felix, please,” you gripped his shoulders tighter, fingers passing over rough scars on the skin underneath.

“Thats right,” he hummed, easing himself into you at an excruciatingly slow pace.

“Does that feel good?” he chuckled at the way your hips greedily met his. When he bottomed out, you pulled him down into another heated kiss just to feel more of him. And then he began to thrust, moving his hips at pace far too slow for your liking as he relished in the feeling of your tight walls sucking him in.

“S-so good, Lix, harder please. I can't-" Your back arched, your eyelids fluttered closed, and Felix had to bite his lip to keep from losing it at the sight.

“Yes you can," he purred, leaning down to whisper into your ear. "You begged for it like whore. So be a good girl and take it like one, hm?" And then without warning, Felix picked up his pace, drilling into you faster, deeper, harder.

You let out soft sobbing noises that he muffled with kisses—kisses along your jaw, down your neck, to your collarbones where he sucked and nipped at the skin. The marks he left behind would be covered by your clothing tomorrow, but they would be there, and only Felix will know it. 

One of his hands snaked up to grab at your tits, then down to your clit where he pressed the pad of his thumb. He began to draw gentle circles, pushing you that much closer to your orgasm. And you didn't even try to hold back the loud moans of pleasure that escaped you as his thick cock bullied deeper into your cunt.

"'m fucking close, Lix-” 

Felix was too, in fact he certain he wasn't going to last ten more seconds if you kept clenching around him. “I know-shit” he cursed under his breath, “But you’re going to hold it just a little bit longer for me.”

He pulled out with a deep groan and you let out a noise of protest at the sudden lack of fullness. "Shhh, I know but I haven't even gotten to taste you yet,” he muttered, shifting down to lower his face between your legs.

“Oh fuck-” your eyes shot open when you felt hot breath against the inside of your thighs. Your hands found their way to his dark locks, pressing his face into your cunt, and it was almost embarrassing how quickly you came when his broad tongue collided with your clit.

The pleasure was overwhelming as the orgasm ripped through. Felix continued to lap at you, collecting your arousal on his tongue. You cried out his name, over and over again, because you had forgotten everything else. And within seconds, before you had even come down from your own high, Felix was pumping his cock over your pulsing heat. He emptied himself on your pussy, against your folds, the warm sensation making you hiss.

After he had painted the most intimate parts of you with his cum, Felix took his fingers and spread his release over your overstimulated clit, making your legs tremble. And it took everything he had to fight the possessive urge to collect it on his fingers and push it inside your spent hole.

When the stars faded from your vision, you looked up to find him staring down at the mess he'd made. Eyelids half-open, lips parted in a daze. You reached down to collect some of your shared release onto your fingers and sat up to swipe it across his swollen lips. And then you kissed him, tongues meeting to taste the mixture of your releases. You pulled him back down without breaking the kiss, and he held himself up on shaky arms as your lips moved. Slow and passionate, wet and sloppy, as you inhaled each other in.

When the kiss broke, Felix pressed one final peck to your forehead before collapsing at your side, reaching over to pull you into his chest.

"You okay, princess?" his warm breath tickled your ear and you hummed in response. “Shit that was…you're so fucking hot."

"Never again though, right?" you teased, burying your face in his neck. Felix smiled softly against your hair, his chest shook with gentle laughter, and a sense of familiarity washed over you. 

As if that very moment had repeated countless times before, in every single lifetime.

You stirred as the first rays of dawn found their way into the cave. Blinking away the grogginess, your body slowly became aware of the weight draped around you. Felix was still soundly asleep and you hesitated to disturb him, but the sudden need for fresh air pulled you gently from his hold.

With cautious steps over the rest of the sleeping boys, you made your way outside, momentarily taken aback by the bright golden rays that bathed the landscape. The sun's presence, without the usual cover of clouds, was a precious rarity—a gift that nature seldom chose to bestow upon the remnants of humanity. It called you to take a few steps further, to let it bathe your skin.

"Enjoying the view?"

You startled, cursing yourself for not paying more attention to the number of sleeping bodies in the cave. When your head snapped to the side you found Hyunjin perched on a large stone with a bright red apple in his hand and an open bag at his feet.

"Sorry, didn't mean to disturb you," you grumbled, taking a step back. 

"Don't worry about it," he replied casually, "It's not like I own the sunrise." His tone suggested that he might actually be trying to lighten the mood, to lessen the tension between you, and the surprise must have shown on your face because he let out a light chuckle before taking a bite of the apple.

"Hungry?" he asked. "You didn't eat much last night."

You hesitated, caught off guard by his observation. "A little, yeah."

"Here," he reached down into the bag and pulled out a second apple, tossing it to you. His eyebrows lifted when you caught it with ease. And then he shifted, as if he was making space for you to sit beside him. You paused, studying him for a brief second before accepting the invitation and settling down at his side.

"Thanks," you stole a quick glance his way before biting down into the fruit, appreciating the crisp sweetness as the juice ran down your chin. 

"I've known Felix for a long time, y/n," he suddenly blurted out. Your chewing slowed as you turned your attention to him, intrigued by the sudden change in topic. "He's good at adapting, but I'm not sure he knows how to handle anything beyond survival anymore.”

After a moment, a half-smile ghosted across Hyunjin's features and he continued. “Felix is who he is. He isn't going to change for you, and he doesn't need the distraction. Just be careful with him."

"Because you weren't?" the words tumbled out before you could stop them.

"Something like that," Hyunjin's response was measured. They had history. You'd sensed as much, understood that some level of complexity existed between Felix and Hyunjin that wasn't there between the others.

When Hyunjin stood, he tossed his apple core aside and your eyes followed the movement, catching on one of his fingers—adorned with a ring that matched one of the rings Felix wore. The sight was like a punch to the gut, a tangible symbol of their bond, forged through circumstances that you couldn't even begin to understand. 

“You’re wrong,” you stated as he prepared to leave.

His steps faltered, but he didn’t turn back around to face you when he spoke. “I’ve known him a lot longer than-“

“-Not about Felix,” you interrupted. “About me. I don’t have any desire to change him. I like the way he is because its whats kept him alive.”

Hyunjin stood motionless, as if he was choosing his next words very, very carefully. “You should try to get some more sleep before the rest of them wake," he stated plainly. And then, almost as an afterthought, his voice dropped before he added, "Didn’t sound like you got much last night."

Embarrassment fell over your entire body as he disappeared into the cave. With a heavy sigh you opened your hand, letting the half-eaten apple roll to the ground in front of you as the sweet flavor turned bitter in your mouth.

Upon re-entering the cave, Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen, leaving you to assume that he’d gone to the spring to clean up.

When your gaze shifted to Felix, still asleep where you had left him, your heart sank. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead and the anguish etched across his face was unmistakably characteristic of a nightmare.

You stepped closer, concern deepening with each passing second as you watched his eyes dart behind closed lids. Kneeling down beside him you extended a hand, positioning it above his shoulder, but as your fingers inched closer you were abruptly halted by what fell from his lips.

It wasn't merely the despair in his voice that seized you—no, it was the word he spoke that left you frozen in place.

A simple word, whispered like an agonizing plea.

Your name.

Swallowed by darkness, he's stumbling forward but he doesn’t remember how he got there. His knees hit the ground, and he closes his eyes but he can still hear them. Heart-wrenching sobs echo in his ears, sending a shiver down his spine, because he knows it is your voice that they come from.

When he looks up, he sees you on the ground up ahead. Hunched over with your head in your hands and your back turned to him, your entire body shakes with each pained sob. He approaches you cautiously, heart heavy with concern. He reaches to place a hand on your shoulder, and he is surprised to find that your skin is ice cold.

When you turn to meet his eyes, your tear-stained face contorts in anguish and confusion. "Why?” you croak, your voice trembling.

The accusation in your gaze is like a stab to his heart, something he can't bear to see, yet his eyes refuse to close. “Why did you do it, Felix?” you continue. Your sobs turn violent, and his heart breaks as he is forced to watch your pain. He tries to speak, to beg you to forgive him for whatever it is he has done. Yet its as if his lips have been sewn shut, his tongue far too heavy to move. He extends a hand to wipe your tears, but you flinch away from his touch.

And suddenly you’re standing, facing each other. He doesn’t remember how it happened, but he is relieved that your sobs have ceased. He is relieved, until the newfound stillness brings a fresh wave panic to his veins. Because your sadness has been replaced by fear. And as your bloodshot eyes stare directly into his, Felix realizes that it is him, you are afraid of.

You breathe, but it is a ragged breath, as if you are struggling to draw in any air at all. "I trusted you," you whisper, but your speech is gargled as if you are being choked by something. Droplets of crimson fall from your mouth, and his eyes widen in horror as your lips tinge red with blood.

A final tear travels down your cheek as you lower your head. And Felix follows your eyes down, down to where his hand is tightly clutched around the blood-soaked handle of a knife.

A knife adorned with an intricate floral design, mercilessly embedded in your heart.

Part 7

thank you so much for reading<33 if you would like to be added to the taglist please don't hesitate to let me know :)

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[3rachasdomesticbanana]

DB's Masterlist 🌶️

Han Jisung

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

FaceTime

Just Friends

Just Friends II

Jisung's Favorite Part Of You

His Groupie

Among Strangers II

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

Bang Chan

All Nighter

The Bet

Among Strangers

Among Strangers II

More Coming Soon

#By3RACHAsDomesticBanana #3racha #stray kids fanfic #Stray Kids fan fiction #stray kids smut #skz smut #skz #skz fanfic #skz fan fiction #masterlist #skz masterlist #skz smut masterlist #stray kids masterlist #stray kids smut masterlist #3RACHASDOMESTICBANANA #bang chan smut #han jisung smut

[skzgene]

I.N x Reader Smut. MINORS DNI!!!!

A long day of rehearsing means he needs to let out all of his pent up tension.

Includes scenes of the following - ‘praise kink, light sub x dom, self masturbation, light choking, unprotected sex’

The clock ticks away as you stare at your phone, waiting to hear any sign of that He’s on his way home to you.

You knew he worked late and was constantly on a tight schedule so you were really happy when you knew he would be back to do the simple things like eat dinner with you.

You had prepared a light meal, just some ramen and meat, just how he likes it. Setting up the table with a candle and some flowers to brighten up the room.

‘Gosh, im such a simp’ you thought to yourself.

9pm rolls around pretty quickly and your sat watching tv when you hear a knock on the door, sitting up and looking through the peephole you see his cute little face, he looks drained from rehearsals but you know he would make the most of the time with you.

You open the door and let him inside, but before you could say a word he throws his bag to the floor and his lips lock onto yours.

Its passionate, almost needy, completely sexual and you feel yourself getting hot in places you know he would want to explore.

He places 2 hands on your shoulders slamming the door behind him and pinning you against it, lips still locked on to yours.

Breathlessly you manage to pull away for a slight second.

‘Well, hello to you too’ you mutter, but are cut off by him slamming his lips onto yours once again.

You feel his body pinning yours against the door, your hairs stand on end in pure lust.

‘Hard day?’ You manage to break in between the passionate kisses he is repeatedly fulfilling you with.

‘Yes, but all i need to make it better is you’ he mutters back all the while completely focused on you.

He traces his hand down the sides of your body before using his knee to widen the gap between your legs, pushing his thigh against your now sopping underwear.

The feeling of his thigh pushed up against you automatically makes you grind against it, his grey sweatpants slowly turning a darker shade from the wet trails you are leaving all over them.

You throw your head back as he pushes his thigh further upwards towards you, making the pressure almost unbareable, his lips still locked on to yours. Hes almost needy, theres so much angst in his kisses, you know all he wants right now is to get off and who would you be to refuse him that.

He grabs your hips between his big hands and forces you down further into his thigh, rocking them back and forth to grind you into his leg.

You moan under breathless gasps as he inches his lips closer to your ear.

‘Dont you dare cum’ he whispers to you.

The words have nothing but the opposite intended effect when you feel yourself clench at the sound of his breathy voice in your ear, his hot breath on your neck and his hands still grinding you against his leg.

By now his sweatpants are completely covered in your slick juices.

You pick up the pace against his knee, feeling his now rock hard erection rubbing against your leg, it gets you off even more.

You cant help but lose it when he starts to nibble against your neck.

‘I-innie’ you mutter. ‘Im gonna’..

Your words are cut off by the lack of sensation before you realise he has completely removed his body from pinning you against the wall and is now standing just in front of you.

‘You really think i was going to just let you ride my thigh until you finish?’ He smirks. Walking over to the dining table, which is laid with a single candle and a vase of his favourite flowers.

‘Come here and ride me properly’

He takes the flowers and places them on the kitchen counter, before blowing out the candle and perching himself on the edge.

The look on his face is one of need, lust, pure sexual angst. Your eyes hover down to where his trousers leave nothing to the imagination, and just off to the side, still a large patch of wet juice from your own body.

Your actually slightly embarrassed at how hot he can make you with nothing but his thigh!

You begin walking towards him, sliding your knitted jumper off over your head, exposing your chest to him. Which gives him nothing but ideas.

‘Wait.’ He stops you in your tracks.

‘Show me how you want me to touch you’

You pause, silently thinking about what on earth he just asked you to do.. it really must of been a hard day at the office.

But with little to no hesitation you walk over, sliding your panties off and throwing them to the side, before sitting on the dining table.

he pulls out a dining chair and sits himself on it, right in between your legs.

You prop your feet up on each side of the chair looking him up and down before running your fingers over your wet slit.

His face is head height with your most intimate parts and boy is he loving the view.

You slide a finger inside of yourself and start to move it inside and out of you.

‘How does it feel?’ He asks. Sliding his waistband down and over his now throbbing cock, he begins to wrap his hand around himself, pumping himself slowly along with your own rhythm.

‘You would feel better’ you tease.

In a swift motion he stands from his chair, pushing you down onto the table before forcing himself inside of you, fast & hard.

‘FUCK’ you scream out breathlessly. ‘Oh my god innie’

‘Well, lets not waste time’ he looks down at you.

He runs his hands up your thighs, still inside you, but no thrusting or any motion, just still.

Letting you conform to his size and length, his hands get to your waist and he slides you down slightly so your ass is slightly off the table.

He slides himself out of you so just the tip of him is inside, looking down at him inside of you really gets him going, he lets out a slight moan before slowly gliding himself back in with ease.

‘So, do i feel better?’ He asks, almost shyly.

‘So much better’ you reply ‘let out all your tension on me cutie’

Hearing the words cutie always gets him going, theres just something about the way he fucks you like an absolute animal in private. but smiles still so sweet when your around anyone else.

His eyes close slightly as he picks up the pace, holding you by your thighs, your calves over his shoulders as he grinds himself into you over and over again.

From the combination of what happened earlier and how close you were, topped with the feeling of his head hitting your sweet spot you could just climax right now, but you try to hold it in to let him have his time.

He pounds into you over and over letting out slight moans every now and then, his hands frantically pinching at your hip bones, breasts, thighs.. anywhere he can get to.

His pace slows slightly and you feel him pull out of you, replacing his thrusts with his fingers.

He inserts two, curling them upwards inside of you and circling motions along your Gspot. Within seconds, you feel your body convulse and you reach your high.

He holds your hand with his free hand as you coat his fingers with your juices.

Sliding them out and placing them into his own mouth.

‘Fuck, i could cum at the taste’ he groans.

You sit up, propping yourself on your elbows and look at him standing in front of you, hes still standing rock solid completely naked from the waist down.

‘Why did you stop?’ You ask almost moody.

He turns and walks towards the bedroom.

‘Who said i stopped’ he chuckles.

Motioning with his hand for you to follow him, of course, you do as he demands.

You reach the bedroom and he positions himself behind you, pushing you down onto the bed face down against the sheets.

He hovers over the top of you as you raise your hips slightly, pressing your ass firmly against his cock, wiggling slightly.

He places a hand on the small of your back before entering you once more from behind.

He thrusts into you over and over, the sound of your ass smacking against his pelvis travels around the room.

‘Fuck’ he moans. ‘Your such a good girl letting me take all of this frustration out on you’

His words make you clench around him

And he moans harder.

‘Yes baby, tighten yourself around me’ he sighs

His words do nothing but get you even closer to your now second climax before you release your juices all over him once more.

‘Cum for me innie’ you moan his name under a flutter of breathless moans.

He pulls out, turning you around onto your back before placing himself in between your thighs, you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him in closer to you. Using no hands his dick seamlessly glides back into you, he throws his head back and lets out the sexiest noise you think you may of ever heard.

You run your hands over his chest and down his torso, letting your fingers glide over every perfectly carved muscle.

Your juices cover the lower part of his torso and just above his pelvis.

You look up at him, his sweat clinging to his forehead, making his hair stick to the sides of his face, his dimples poke through the sheer animalistic look in his eyes. This is the jeongin that you love the most, just you, him & the sexual chemistry.

He grinds into you over and over almost shuddering with every stroke, he gets closer and closer to his climax, and so do you.

He places a hand around your throat as he fucks every last breath out of you, keeping eye contact the entire time, when hes like this hes just so intimidating and he makes you feel so submissive. You would do anything, absolutely anything for him if it meant you got to experience this every day.

He leans in closer so his torso is against yours, his weight heavy against your chest.

‘Im close’. He whispers to you, ‘do you want me to fill you up’ he smirks.

You say nothing but nod as your eyes roll back into your head.

your noses slightly touch as he plants a longing kiss on your lips, taking one in between two teeth and biting down on it gently, but firmly. The smell of sex fills the room, along with his musky smell of perfume and sweat from his rehearsals today. He thrust a few more times before he grips your sides with his hands, his nails digging in to your skin before he releases his thick creamy load inside of you.

‘Oh my g-god’ his breath falters.

You use a finger to wipe the sweat from his forehead, moving a strand of hair from off his face.

‘Dinners gone cold’ you huff playfully.

‘Shut up’ he laughs, cuddling into your stomach.

‘This was definitely better than your cooking anyway’ he teases.

‘HEY! My cooking isnt that bad!’ You slap him on the shoulder jokingly.

But in reality.. not even the best chef, could feed all of your senses as much as he does.

#jeongin #i.n #yangjeongin #yang jeongin #skz #straykids #stray kids #smut #fanfiction #skz fan fiction #jeongin x reader #praise

[farfromsugafanfic]

Hiii, May i request Stray Kids reactions to you asking them to move in with you please 🥺🫶🏼

SKZ Reaction To You Asking Them To Move In With You

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks for the request! I know getting the requests (and content in general) has been slow lately and I appreciate y'all for bearing with me. Also, Happy New Year!

Chan:

This man is going to be ECSTATIC when you ask him to move in with him. He has honestly been waiting for this day. With that said, if he is still living in the dorm full time when you ask him, he will still continue to live there part time, especially during long weeks since it is nearer to work and allows him to collaborate with the members better.

But, he will come home to you as much as possible. While he is normally a very organized person, he will get a bit excited and start sending you apartment listings without important features you would've talked about (such as if they don't allow pets, outside your budget, etc.). Don't worry, he'll calm down after a few days lol.

Minho:

Honestly, Minho will be pretty chill as long as you agree to having cats and are okay with his crazy schedule. He will low key wonder what took so long. Minho will also be so helpful when you're actually moving by carrying all of the heavy things and making sure you remember to take a break and eat.

He will be secretly touched that you want to take this step with him and will probably express it in some way you will only realize later. I also wouldn't be surprised if he ends up convincing you to let him pay the majority of the rent, or even all of it.

Changbin:

Will immediately do two things: 1). Act cute 2). Be surprised. No matter how long you have been with Changbin or how stable your relationship is, these sorts of gestures that indicate an evolution in the relationship will always shock him.

While Changbin's Leo sun makes him outwardly confident, he secretly hides a lot of insecurity and uncertainty. So, when you ask him to move in, and once he realizes you're serious, he'll pull you off the ground and into a hug. On move in day, he definitely wears a tank top just to tease you.

Hyunjin:

I imagine it will happen fairly casually and Hyunjin will be shy and cute as he says yes. I mean, he sorta already lives with you anyway based on how much time he already spends at your place. Will shyly ask for a space so he can paint and is SO happy when you say yes. He isn't used to living with anyone other than the members or his parents, so when you easily let him have an extra bedroom for his art, he thinks this is the best thing he's ever done.

Despite being an introvert, he seems like the type to throw a house warming party once the apartment is immaculately decorated with his and other's art. Also, he will have to introduce Kkami to space, of course.

Jisung:

Like Changbin, he's a little shocked, but eager to accept. Ngl, he does get a little anxious when he considers how he will work with the members and definitely wants a place close to the current dorm so that he can maintain a good work/life balance.

However, once you actually get a place and moved in, he is going to be so happy. Will stay up all night with you just so he can enjoy spending time with you in a space that is just for you two.

Felix:

Felix may ask before you get the chance. He can't imagine anything better than getting to live with you. Like Hyunjin, he will also take decorating the apartment extremely seriously. You probably won't even need to lift a finger in that regard.

He does feel a bit weird without the members at first and will go back to the dorm on nights you're out of town. Felix will also always come home to you at night, even if it's late.

Seungmin:

You decide to broach the subject with Seungmin gradually. It's not that you're afraid he will say no, he just tends to take these sorts of things seriously and would probably want to be the one to ask. Still, you begin hinting that your lease is ending a few months before it actually does. When you finally ask, there is little hesitation. In fact, he took your hints so well, he already has a list of apartments saved.

That said, Seungmin will insist on making the deposit and buying any new furniture. It's not that he doesn't respect that you make your own money and enough to make occasional big purchases, but it just makes the most sense from his point of view.

Jeongin:

Jeongin may be among the most hesitant to move in with you. It's not exactly that he doesn't want to, it's just that he will definitely miss the members. Still, when he agrees and you start making plans, he will become excited.

He's another budding interior designer and will spend literally hours picking out everything from the right color of curtains to the perfect bedspread. Once you get moved in, he realizes his worries were baseless as he actually enjoys the quiet and getting to see you as soon as he wakes up.

#skz #skz fluff #skz reactions #stray kids #stray kids reactions #stray kids preferences #stray kids fluff #skz fic #stray kids fic #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fan fic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz fan fiction #kpop reactions #reactions skz #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #farfromsuga

[strayfoxxchan]

MASTERLIST | SHOP

#Stray Kids #SKZ #Stray Kids x Reader #SKZ x Reader #Stray Kids Scenarios #SKZ Scenarios #Stray Kids Imagines #SKZ Imagines #Kpop Imagines #Kpop Scenarios #Stray Kids Fluff #SKZ Fluff #SKZOO #SKZOO Fanart #Stray Kids Fan Fiction #SKZ Fan Fiction #Stray Kids fic #SKZ Fic #Stray Kids Fanart #Bang Chan #Lee Minho #Lee Know #Changbin #Hwang Hyunjin #Han Jisung #Lee Yongbok #Felix #Seungmin #Kim Seungmin #I.N

[minsungjinho]

Late Night Snack (hyung line)

genre: work friends to playmates word count: 8.1K warnings below the cut

warnings: explicit sexual content, protected sex, teasing, 4some, oral (m&f), doggy, missionary, alcohol use, cucking ig?, swallowing, slight body worship, aftercare, rough, also gentle, lmk if I missed any!

lazily proofread - fixed spelling errors.

~

“Please don’t go, I can’t live without you by my side.” You said, bright lights and cameras in your face. 

“I can’t bare to go back to the apartment that will be empty of your presence, or go to the cafe where you won’t be there to wave at me from our table in the corner. I can’t even think about eating a meal that isn’t cooked by you, or sleeping in a bed that's missing the smell of your aftershave. I can’t survive without you anymore, please don’t leave.” You were on your knees at this point, sobbing at the man whose hand you held tight. 

He looked down at you, a blank expression just as the script states. While tears rolled down your cheeks he gently grabbed at your wrist and removed your hand from his. He let your arm drop and turned around without so much as a breath in response. He walked off of the scene, leaving you to break down as the camera zoomed in, your eyes puffy, your nose covered with snot.

“Cut!” The director yelled as assistants and managers ran over to you with face cloths and water, ready to aid you with anything you might need. “Great job today everybody, get some rest for tomorrow.” The producer added, all of the stage crew and cameramen scattered to their positions getting ready for the end-of-day clean-up.

A hand reaches down to you, offering to help you up off of your knees. You blindly accept, not realizing how numb your legs were until you were on your feet. You stumble a bit, the person in front of you helping you stabilize your movement. 

“Thanks,” You said with a smile, looking up at the person who anchored you. It was your costar, Chan, the supposed love of your life coming to your rescue.

“I’ve never seen anyone cry so prettily.” He fluffs some of the wrinkles out of your clothing that formed as you sat on the floor shooting the scene. 

You blush at what you assume is a compliment, bowing to him as you tell him how great he did during today's shoot. Your other costars walk up to the two of you, exchanging praise about your day at work. The four of you often got together after shoots and get food while talking shop. 

“I’ve got a date tonight, so I’ll have to skip dinner,” Changbin said, looking down at his phone.

Changbin played the character that acted as your optional lover, one that you a had very long history line with but posed as a potentially great love story, best friends to lovers you could say. K-dramas often follow a love triangle, or something similar at the very least, leaving the viewer to imagine all of the possibilities.

“Wow, ditching us for another random chick.” Minho slapped Changbins back, wrapping his arm around to stare down at what Bin was looking at.

Minho was (you guessed it) the third love option that leaves the viewers anxious for more. He was the tall, angsty one, practically emotionless on and off the screen. He appeared at mysterious times, always when you needed him most. He served as the stranger that waltzed his way into your heart. 

You watched as the three boys conversed with each other over Changbins date, their personalities seeming to closely match that of their characters. It’s only been about two months since the shooting for the TV show began, but the four of you acted as if you had known each other for decades, never feeling awkward or tense outside of work. 

All of you had gotten dressed in your own clothing, also similar to the characters you were playing, and gathered in a group to head to your usual restaurant. Changbin split from the group once everyone was getting into Minhos car, telling Chan he might catch up with you all later in the evening. You, Chan, and Minho had played music on your ride to the fried chicken place, all singing along like on a summer road trip. The nights like these were your favorite, being with your friends and being able to act normally unlike your other actor pals.

Pulling up to the front of the restaurant, Minho turned the volume of the music down and stared out the car windows. A sign was taped to the front door of the joint, stating that their establishment had run into plumbing issues and was closed for the next two days. The three of you had all seemed to groan at the same time, disappointed that you weren’t able to eat greasy chicken and drown in soju. 

“We could go to my place, it’s close enough and I just bought groceries the other day.” You had been to Minho’s place once before, dropping him off after an unusually long night of drinking. “And yes, I’ve got booze.” He added before Chan could ask.

You all agreed and were on the road again, talking about the scenes that were filmed today rather than listening to music. You arrived in less than ten minutes, gathering your bag and zipping up your jacket before exiting the car. It was a chilly November day, the wind causing goosebumps to raise all over. Autumn was your favorite season, though your body hadn’t acclimated to how quickly it had gotten cold. The car door was opened for you, Minho waiting for you to exit as the breeze messed up his ashy brown hair. You stepped out, feeling the cool air for yourself and shuddering at the fact that you chose to wear a dress that day. Minho shut the door behind you before wrapping part of his long trench-style coat around you in an attempt to block the wind from hitting your body. You closed the distance between you two, getting close in order for the coat to cover more of your body. You stayed like this until you reached the front doors of his apartment building, just as fancy as you remember. He types in a code to open the large doors, letting you go in ahead of him while he waited for Chan to catch up.

Once you had reached his apartment Minho immediately headed toward the kitchen to start preparing dinner. You had heard of his skill in the kitchen but had yet to witness it yourself. You slipped off your jacket and placed it on the back of a chair sitting in the middle of the room between the open-concept living area and kitchen. Chan had made himself comfortable on the couch, whipping out his phone and scrolling through whatever social media he was obsessed with these days. You rummaged through your bag, grabbing a pair of comfy leggings and an oversized teeshirt you usually wore to bed. You let Minho know you were going to change, and that you would be right back to help him prepare dinner, to which he responded with only a nod before resuming his preparations. 

You slipped into your clothes once you had locked the bathroom door behind you, contemplating whether or not it would be awkward to take your bra off to maximize the comfiness of your outfit. You decided to leave it on, unaware of how rude or awkward it might seem to the boys. Returning to the kitchen your nose was met with the lovely smell of rice cooking and aromatic vegetables frying. 

“Wow, it already smells great in here.” You exclaimed to Minho, walking behind him and offering to help. 

He gave you the spatula in his hand, letting you fry up the veggies as he prepared the chicken for the oven. Every so often he would have to maneuver around you, placing his hand on the small of your back or slightly moving you over by grabbing your waist. He was confident in his actions, not making the situation awkward as you both prepared dinner. 

“A bit touchy today, huh Min?” Chan commented. 

You looked back and found him leaning back against the fridge with his arms crossed, watching as you two naturally conversed and cooked. 

“You aren’t allowed to complain when you aren’t helping.” Minho shot back with a shit-eating grin, causing you to chuckle quietly. “You could at least get the silverware ready,” You added, causing Minho to smile down at you proudly. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, you two go back to being lovebirds.” Chan sighed while opening the utensil drawer.

Both you and Minho ignored his comment, though a blush crept up onto your face without you realizing. You knew where you and all of the boys stood in terms of relationships- knowing how messy it would be for your careers. You did indulge in fantasizing about them sometimes, wondering if Minho is a secret romantic, or how Chan would be in bed. You pretty much knew how Changbin was due to all of his dating stories. 

You had finished cooking dinner, helping Min by serving the food at the table while Chan grabbed beers from the fridge. “I should probably just have water, if I drink tonight it’ll be hell trying to wake up for the shoot tomorrow.” You sighed, sitting down at the modern glass dining table. “You didn’t see the text? Shooting tomorrow is canceled because of a storm rolling through. We were supposed to be shooting at the Han River.” Chan set a beer in front of you, opening yours before his own. 

“Oh thank god, I really needed a break.” You relaxed into your chair, taking a deep breath as you felt some weight being lifted off of your shoulders. 

The boys dug right into the food, barely savoring it as they ate. The finished product was chicken fried rice, with a couple of side dishes including kimchi and salad. It didn’t take long for the three of you to finish your meals, happily stuffed and slightly buzzed from the beers. The one thing everyone knew about you was how touchy you got when you were drunk. This was evident, having smooshed yourself up against Chan who had sat next to you during dinner. Your head was rested on his shoulder, eyes closed as you listened to the boys talk. He had his arm wrapped around you, lightly caressing your arm, a small but enjoyable show of affection. 

Half asleep, you hear hushed whispers that sound almost like an argument. “How come you get to be all touchy with her now?” Minho questioned quietly. “You had your turn earlier.” Chan rebutted. 

This went on for some time, breaking your peaceful attempt at sleep. Fed up, you stood up from your chair and chugged the leftover contents of your beer before telling the boys to follow you. Minho had a large living room with only a sectional couch and a TV hung up on the wall. You grabbed a couple of pillows and blankets from the couch, laying them on the floor in a comfy makeshift bed. You lay down in the center, waving them over. 

“Can’t you guys just share?” You said sleepily, curled up on the fuzzy blanket. 

They walk over to you without a second thought. Minho lays behind you, wrapping an arm around your stomach loosely while Chan got comfortable in front of you, wiping stray hairs from your face. This might have seemed out of the ordinary or awkward if not for the numerous scenes at work of you being romantic with either of them. It was a casual cuddle sesh between three friends, all a bit intoxicated, however.

It wasn’t until Changbin walked through the front door that you realized how the situation must have looked. His jacket was hung over his shoulder, fingers barely gripping at it. His other hand held his phone at his side, while his face looked just as puzzled as you expected it to be.

“Not what it looks like.” You stated, sitting up on your elbows to explain the situation to Binnie.

“Could be.” Chan declared confidently as if he had been thinking about it this whole time.

“I’m down,” Changbin added while hanging his jacket on the hook and tossing his phone on the counter. 

Your eyes widened at his response, and your stomach starting to feel uneasy at the direction the conversation was headed. “Haha funny” You scoffed, standing up between Minho and Chan. “The kitchen isn’t going to clean itself.” You tried using this as an excuse, about to step in that direction before a hand grabbed at you holding you back.

“You too?!” You exclaimed, looking down at Minho’s golden honey-colored eyes.

He shrugged in response, unknowing of how you thought about the circumstances. Your mind was frazzled with potential situations and fantasies arizing, unsure of how to act or what to say.

“I need way more alcohol in me to even consider what’s going on right now.” You claimed.

In less than five minutes the four of you were sitting at the now cleaned-off dining room table, drinks in hand though no words had yet been exchanged. You’d already downed a couple of shots of soju, you could feel it in your cheeks. Chan and Changbin sat across from you, Minho to your right as you started to talk. 

“Are you guys… serious?” You asked briefly, not wanting to go too deep into detail for fear of embarrassment. You had refused to make eye contact, swirling your glass instead. 

“The most.” “Very.” “Mm.” They all said at once. You chuckled, frustrated at the tension. 

“How would this even work?” You were grasping at straws, knowing exactly how it could work but feeling too anxious to say anything else. The room was quiet for what felt like an eternity. 

“We could make it into a game.” Changbin offered, resting his head on the knuckles of his intertwined fingers, his elbows propped on the table. 

Minho sat up straight at the suggestion placed on the table- metaphorically of course. 

“Let's.” Chan sealed the deal, your alcohol v.s good decision ratio falling on the lesser end as time continued on. “That is if Y/N is okay with it.” All three boys looked over at you simultaneously. 

“I don’t know, I’ve never done anything like this before.” You pleaded.

“We’ll be gentle,” Minho added with a devious grin, completely contradicting his words.

“Mhm.” Binnie was focused on your body language as the three of you talked through everything. 

Safe words, things that are off limits, and anything that needed to be addressed had been covered all within a short time frame. You internally chuckled at how businesslike the four of you had talked over the situation. You can’t deny the fact that you’ve thought of this exact scenario before, between shoots or on long car rides to outdoor scenes. If it weren’t for the liquid courage you would have never considered letting this happen.

“So, I’m not on birth control or anything.” You mentioned as you all occupied Minho’s bedroom, much more spacious than you had originally expected. Chan relaxed in a chair at the corner of the room, manspreading like it was nobody's business. He was sunken into the chair, an elbow propped on the wooden arm. Minho walked out of the master bathroom, a whole string of condoms unfolding.

“That’s fine.” He said emotionless, as if the whole thing could end right now and he wouldn’t be disappointed. 

You nodded, walking to Changbin as he motioned for you to sit with him. Your steps were a bit uneven, the alcohol making your vision and balance just a bit hazy. He sat on the edge of Minho’s bed, scooting back some to make room for you to sit between his legs. Once you sat down, your body feeling like a bag of bricks, he pulled you into his chest with his arms wrapped around your stomach. He nestled his chin into the crook of your neck, you noticed then how much warmer his body was than yours. 

“How are we starting this?” Chan looked at the men around the room, licking his lips as if he couldn’t wait any longer to begin.

Changbin released you from his grasp, his arms pulling back behind you and fumbling with his tie. “With this.” He claimed, pulling it from the collar of his dress shirt and holding it for everyone to see. 

Your visibly confused face must have hinted that you had no idea what he was talking about. Changbin instructed you to put your hair in a ponytail, making it easier for everyone if your hair was kept out of the way. Once it was situated and held in place by the cheap elastic, he gently covered your eyes with the width of the tie, securing a knot in the back to act as a blindfold. 

You were no longer able to see, not even light from the ceiling crept through. You felt concerned yet intrigued, depending on your other senses to gauge what was happening around the room as the three boys shuffled around. You sat there, hands clasped together on your lap while waiting for something to happen. 

“And the so-called ‘game’? What are we doing.” Minho had dropped his carefree facade, eager to know what was happening next. “Guess the guy, simple as that.” Binnie had a giddy tone to his voice as if he had dreamed of this exact situation. “And we do what, exactly?” Chan asked, his voice was much louder than earlier, you assumed he moved from his position on the chair to standing with the other boys. 

“Anything you want, within the limits of course.” You could hear the eagerness in his tone, unlike Chan and Minho he let his excitement be apparent, which you found cute yet also slightly scary. 

The three men whispered quietly away from you, calmly deciding who should go first in this game of arousal. It hadn’t been until a pair of hands took yours in their grasp that you realized how real this was. You jumped at the skin-to-skin contact, feeling embarrassed at your position in this game. You were waiting for affirming words, forgetting that the point of this was for you to guess who was who. 

The first mystery man let go of your hands, guiding their own to your hips as he pushed you further into the middle of the bed, resting your head down onto a pillow as you lay normally. Based on touch alone you weren’t able to figure out which guy this was. A hand was placed on your jawline, his thumb rubbing against your bottom lip as he situated himself between your legs, towering over your body. Warm, plump lips were placed onto yours, softly kissing you as if you would break. 

You had hoped to be able to tell apart the person by their lips, forgetting how each of them was well stacked in that department. You kissed him like this for a bit, not sure if you were allowed to take the lead, or at least attempt to at that. Whilst getting stuck in your own head about it, the mystery boy's tongue swiped at your bottom lip asking for entrance. He tasted minty, which threw you off your thought process. Could it have been Minho? Perhaps he brushed his teeth before returning to the bedroom with the condoms? You let his tongue dance around yours, raising your hands to feel his hair in hopes that you could differentiate who this was.

Before feeling even one strand of hair your arms were pinned atop your head, and you could feel a grin press against your lips as if the man was saying “Nice try”. Frustrated, you wiggled underneath him, hoping perhaps you would be able to feel the shape of his body or even an article of clothing that the other two boys didn’t have. Whoever was on top of you didn’t like this action either, firmly pressing their hips against yours, earning a gasp of air in your lungs once you felt the warm bulge against you. 

A light moan escaped from mystery man #1’s lips due to the friction, though it wasn’t loud enough to hear a distinguished tone. You raised your hips again in hopes of hearing it again, though failed as whoever it was had used your lips as a distraction. Your bottom lip was sucked, and pulled between the teeth of your partner, a small yet painful sting that caused you to whine. 

“What happened to be gentle?” You scoffed, wiggling around in your blind position. 

The unkept hand of this man had pushed your face to the side, his lips placing soft kisses down your jaw onto your neck. “No marks.” You stated bluntly, one of the conditions you had placed when talking at the table. You trusted your makeup team’s talent but didn’t want to risk being scolded at work or causing a scandal just for a one-night stand with three of your costars. You could feel him pressing his bulge softly against your core, just barely feeling it from the distraction of his lips. You raised one of your legs that had laid flat on the bed next to him, using it to wrap around his waist and pull his lower half into yours.  

You could feel his lips shudder against the skin of your collarbone, his hand roughly gripping yours above your head. You could hide the smile that crept onto your lips, satisfied and slightly more confident in your position. You feel his body rise away from yours, the heat from his chest no longer radiating against yours while his hand lets yours go. Before you could use your hands, his fingers were brimming the hem of your shirt, gripping it and lifting it over your head, carefully to not undo the tie that blocked your vision. Before your shirt could even hit the floor your bra was pulled down, exposing your chest fully. 

You could hear a deep breath taken in on your right, one of the boys anxiously waiting for his turn. A wet, hot sensation flick across your nipple one you could only assume was a tongue. This caused your body to tense, and the wet feeling on your breast got hotter with his mouth wrapped fully around your nipple, teeth grazing it lightly. Shivers traveled down your spine, noticing this the mystery man deepened his movement, grinding into you as his teeth nibble at your nub. He bit and sucked relentlessly, not giving your body a break from the overstimulation as he simultaneously bucked his hips into yours.  

“Binnie.” You released a soft whisper from your lips, causing all movement to stop abruptly. “How did you know?” He asked from above you, his breath uneven and heavy. “You taste minty.” You started, gulping down a big breath before continuing. “You always carry gum on you, plus you didn’t eat dinner with us earlier. I also know how much of a tit’s guy you are.” You felt satisfied at your answer, sighing with a smile

His body raised from yours, the bed bouncing slightly as he stepped off of it. You felt cold from his absence, the way his body was emitting heat could save you so much money on home heating costs. Changbin asked which one of the boys was going next, to which you heard nothing but silence as the game would be ruined if either of them actually answered.

You had assumed Chan would be the next mystery man, based on how eager he looked like he wanted to start before you were blindfolded. You pictured him as a dominant type and felt excited about what was to come next. The bed dipped down again, the next boy coming to do who knows what to your body. You couldn’t feel a body towering over you, curious as to what this next person's plan was. You felt cold hands on your waist, causing you to tense up a bit as your leggings were rolled down past your hips, and eventually, each leg freed as well. 

Hands grabbed at yours, pulling you into a sitting position. He carefully wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you onto his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. His cold fingers reached past your shoulders, pulling apart the clasp of your bra and letting it fall between you. You removed your arms, tossing the bra behind you before you were pulled down, fully straddling atop mystery man #2. He guides your hands to either side of where you assumed his head lay, giving them a squeeze as if he was telling you not to move them from that spot. 

Your breasts dangled over his chest, your ass pressed firmly into his groin with the help of his hands pressing you down. You could feel his body strain, his face meeting yours with a kiss that could have melted you if you weren’t straddling him. He kissed you softly like this for only a short amount of time before dragging the upper half of your body into his with his teeth pulling your lip. His hands refused to leave your ass, gripping at the bare skin and his nails leaving crescent marks. 

He guided your hips back and forth, making you grind against his clothed body while you felt the front of your panties getting more and more wet. Once you slowly continued the friction against him on your own, his hands traveled up your back and waist, caressing the skin before strongly gripping at your tits, squeezing them as if they were stress balls. This caused you to rut your hips forward, earning a deep groan from within the mystery man’s chest. 

He pulled your lips to his once more, his hand cupping your cheek as your tongues danced. He removes his hand from your chest, sliding it down the front of your body until he reached your core, feeling the damp cloth between his fingers. He pushes it aside, sliding a finger up your folds collecting your wetness before toying with your clit. Your fingers grasp at the blanket beneath you, a moan escaping from your lips into the mouth you were kissing. You had known how turned on you felt, but not how eager you wanted to be touched. 

He brought your attention back to him, slowly kissing you as he plays with your now throbbing clit. Small winces and gasps of pleasure erupt from you, making it difficult to pay attention to whichever man was beneath you. He kept up this pleasant torture for a minute longer before removing his fingers, bringing them up to his mouth to taste you. You breathed heavily, between the kissing and stimulation it left you feeling tired yet hopeful for more. Once he sucked his fingers clean, you knew who it was. He brought your lips to him, forcing you to taste yourself when his tongue pushed past into your mouth.  

“Are you enjoying yourself, Minho?” You questioned after breaking from the kiss.

“Mhmm” He answered, his hands returning to your ass and rutting his bulge into your now-soaked core.

He was unwavering with his movements, refusing to share with his friend even though you had already outed him. He let out a moan you could tell he was holding in for a while, unbothered by the other men in the room as he enjoyed himself. “Move it.” Could be heard from the foot of the bed, a voice you knew very well. “Now,” Chan added, his impatience growing as he watched Minho use you. 

Minho sighed, halting his movements from beneath you before rolling you off of him so he could stand. “C’mere.” You heard Chan demand, carefully crawling toward the end of the bed on your knees. He grabbed a hold of your hands once you got close enough, bringing your arms around his neck and pulling you close to his naked chest. You were unaware of when he took his shirt off but didn’t care much once he kissed you. Surprisingly he was the softest of the boys, his lips much larger than the other two, yet gentle and passionate rather than hungry. He was soft and sweet as his hands roamed your body, taking his time to enjoy your features rather than abuse them.

“Beautiful,” He whispered just barely loud enough for you to hear, and only for you to hear. This urged you to wrap yourself around him completely, your legs around his waist and your ankles joined together in an effort to close the gap between you. He gripped at your ass, pulling both sides and squeezing just hard enough for you both to enjoy. You internally questioned if the blindfold was still necessary, knowing he was the last one, but you kept the thought to yourself, loving the effect it had on the rest of your senses. 

Without so much as a hint or warning, Chan removed your limbs from around his body and pushed your chest so your back hit the mattress, no longer gentle. You made an audible ‘ugh’ as you fell against the plush blankets, your underwear being pulled off before you were able to notice his fingers gripping at the fabric. Chan spread your legs and called the other boys over, leaving you feeling very vulnerable and small. 

“Look at that pretty pussy,” He commented, once the other boys were able to stand next to him. “Does she taste good?” Changbin questioned Minho, who you assume nodded due to his silence. “Hyung, let me get a taste before you ravage her. Please?” Binnie practically begged, you could hear the sincere plead in his voice. 

Chan took a step away from you, keeping a hand on your leg as if making sure the others knew you were his at that moment. You knew how heated you were inside, however, starting the foreplay process three separate times must have made you soaked, hell you could have been dripping at this point. Binnie got close to your mound, feeling his hot breath against you made you shiver with anticipation. He placed a small peck on your core. “So pretty.” He muttered before licking you from bottom to top. You grabbed whatever you could find, probably a blanket and pillow from the way they felt, and clenched them hard, your knuckles white.

Changbin marveled at your reaction, regretting the fact that he got a taste and teased himself. You could hear Minho and Changbin shuffle back to the chair, Chan rubbing your legs and kneeling to the height of your bed. He pulls you by your ankles, your ass just barely hanging off the edge of the bed. He wastes no time bringing his mouth to your core, copying Changbin’s motion with his tongue before doing figure eights, trying to figure out which motion edges you on more. 

He doesn’t stop lapping at your cunt, pressing deeper every few moments to gauge which amount of pressure feels best. Once he reaches the perfect combo he grins, your legs trying to close around his head but failing due to his hands gripping your thighs. He groaned at the taste, and your reaction, the humming sensation bringing shivers down your spine and goosebumps all over your body. 

Chan removes a hand from your leg, bringing it down and separating your folds before inserting his middle finger into your sopping-wet entrance. Finally, someone had given you a bit of release from the tension building inside of you, causing your body to relax. He methodically pumps his digits into you, using the pulling motion that hits one of your sweet spots every time. Your back arches, giving him the push he needed that made him crave you more. He needed to feel you for himself, let your walls pulsate around him.

“Use me, baby,” He growled from between your legs. “Give it to me, let me taste how sweet you are when you cum.” He continued his actions at full speed, completely devouring you while adding fingers into your soaked hole. 

His words motivated you, reaching a hand down to his head and gripping his curly black hair. He groans softly, the heat from his breath adding fuel to the fire. His teeth scrape and nip at your clit while his tongue licks you clean. Chan eggs you on from below, digging into your leg with his nails. You feel the bubbling in your stomach, pressure rising and almost reaching max capacity. His fist almost forced itself into you along with the consistent lapping across your clit pushed you off of the edge, your walls convulsing around his fingers, the sweet essence soaking his fingers and dripping onto his tongue. 

He kept toying with you aggressively, making your high exponentially longer and deeper. You were barely able to catch your breath, seeing stars with your eyes clasped shut tightly. You felt like you were floating, the adrenaline and calming of your body embracing each other as Chan slowed his movements. He rubbed your legs soothingly, standing up as he overlooked your limp body with a satisfied grin on his face. He wiped his lips and chin with his forearm before unbuckling his belt.

“Look at me.” He demanded, his belt dropping to the floor. You used what strength you could muster up to remove Changbin’s tie from your eyes, blinking as the sensitive light made its way through. Once you had finally adjusted to the radiance of the bedroom your eyes met with Chan, his boxers still on to your surprise. His chest was heaving with deep breaths, his arms at his sides while he watched you regain your sight. He grinned, greeting you before grabbing your ankles and twisting you over onto your stomach. 

You looked back at him, his boxers dropping onto the floor along with the rest of his clothes. He hikes your hips up, forcing you onto your knees with your ass high in the air. The bed dips down as he kneels behind you, lazily rolling the condom down his dick with his eyes directed at your soaked core. You pull your arms from in front of you, using your elbows to prop your abdomen more level with the rest of your body. You feel his length against your ass, his arm reaching over you and pushing your head forcefully into the blankets. 

“Stay just like that for me, princess.” His new pet name for you relinquishes any defiance from within you, doing exactly as you are told.

He taps his throbbing tip against your clit, causing you to jump forward a bit, to which he pulls your hips back with force. He smothers his cock with your essence, natural lubrification at its finest. He presses himself against your entrance, audibly sighing as your walls engulf him. He pushes in slowly, deepening himself within you while stretching you out. 

“That’s my good girl, taking it so well.” The pain mixes with pleasure as he bottoms out, your chest finally bringing in the air you didn’t know you were holding in. 

He doesn’t waste any time, picking up speed as he thrust into you gently. You ball your hands into fists, pressure building back into your body. Chan grips your ass, pulling it and squeezing it as he forcefully pushes into you. Your body tenses, involuntarily pushing your hips into him with every thrust. He groans as you fuck yourself with his length, his head dropping back with pleasure. 

“Hyung,” You hear from the corner of the room, looking over to find a very flustered Changbin, his hand palming his dick through his pants. “Take her front,” Chan replies, not even looking over at the other boys. 

Minho is sitting in the chair, elbows on his knees as he watches you get pummeled from behind, analyzing you. “Be nice to him, Princess, he’s been waiting for this day for quite some time.” You groan as Chan demands this of you, his movement slowing in order for Binnie to situate himself in front of you. You respond with a simple ‘Yes, sir.’. He wastes no time, not even removing his clothing before sitting on the bed in front of you. He lowers his pants and boxers down just below his mid-thigh, his back and head resting against the headboard. 

You lift your head to make direct eye contact with him, seeing his throbbing length in your peripheral. He grabs at it, stroking it for just a moment before guiding it into your mouth. You parted your lips, opening your mouth just wide enough to take him. Whereas the other boys had length, Binnie had the girth too- you knew this would be a wild ride. 

Chan pounds into your cunt from behind, causing you to jolt forward with your mouth open to a full ‘O’. Changbin takes advantage of this, pulling your head down onto his cock and breathing in sharply once you’ve made contact. You’ve just barely got the first two inches in your mouth before you feel his width press against your throat. Chan thrusts into you relentlessly from the back, you feel him getting sloppier but greedier for more as he starts nearing his high. You stabilize your hips as much as possible for him while Bin pushes deeper into your throat, stretching you as you gag making him shiver with pleasure. Chan pulls back an arm, slapping your ass harshly as he delivers the last of his blows. He moans deeply from his chest, your hole milking him of all he’s worth. He thrusts slowly and lazily, riding out his high with his hands still gripped on your hips. He pulls out slowly as Bin lightly ruts his hips up into you, his seed hanging from the condom. You feel an immediate absence, the heat and pressure subsiding.  

“Think you can take it all, pretty girl?” Changbin questions you, pulling his dick out of your mouth to allow you to answer. You swallow lightly once he’s pulled away, wincing at the soreness that he caused by stretching you.

“I can try,” You answer him, your voice raspy. He pushes you forward by your shoulders gently, breaking free from his spot in front of you.

He lays you flat against the bed, your face dangling off of the edge of the bed. You make eye contact with Chan who is now the occupant of the chair, only in his unbuttoned pants with a fucked out, post-nut clarity look on his face. Changbin clears your view of Chan, stepping in front of you and letting his pants fall to the ground. He pulls his shirt from his arms, revealing his incredibly toned chest and arms. The bed is at the perfect height for him, his dick perfectly aligned with your upside-down head.

He slaps his length across your face without warning, a gasp leaving your chest before he shoves himself into your throat once more. You almost choke on him, unprepared to take so much of his cock all at once. He pulls out, leaving the tip still in your mouth, letting his spit fall onto his length as you used your tongue to swirl him, running it across his split. He pushes back into your mouth and watches as your neck bulges with him inside. 

You hear shuffling around the room, drawers being opened and closed, and footsteps eagerly walking around until the bed dips down under your legs. You aren’t able to lift your head to see what was happening, Binnie picking up his speed with your throat, making you gag every once in a while. Your legs were shoved open wide, a buzzing object shoved into your still dripping cunt. You would have screamed if not for Changbin’s dick in your mouth, so you only let out a muffled moan that caused him to shudder in pleasure from the vibration. Your toes curled at the object being pushed in and pulled inside of you, whining as the sensation of pressure returned to your body. 

“What do you think, Min?” Changbin starts speaking breathlessly, pausing just for a moment before continuing. “Think she’ll be able to swallow?” You could hear the grin as he spoke, using your face as his own personal fuck doll. 

“If she’s not too overstimulated.” Minho replies, to which you realize he is the one behind the vibrator teasing you. He pulls it from inside of you, placing it on your clit with makes your whole body squirm. 

You whine and groan with Binnie lodged deep in your throat, causing his dick to twitch with pleasure. He grunts, his high approaching fast as you send vibrations up his length. You try your hand at forcing your throat to swallow, attempting to contract and close up around his dick. He lets out a small groan while you’re still being teased, tears occupying your tearline from the intense face fuck and complete overstimulation. He shoots cum down your throat, so deep into you that you have no choice but to swallow. 

You pucker your lips, sucking him as he starts pulling out of your mouth, claiming any last drop of his seed. He sucks in a breath, his teeth biting at his lip once he’s fully pulled out. You’re still squirming at this point, Minho toying with you sadistically while you catch your breath. You push your heels into the bed, trying your hardest to get away from how high the vibrations are set. Though to no avail, he pulls you even closer to him by your ankles, knees dangling off the bed as he’s propped over you with his face closing the distance with yours.

“You made her cry,” He whispers, looking up at Changbin with only his eyes before wiping away the few tears pooled above your cheekbones. “What do you want from me?” Minho asks you softly, his eyes darting all over your upperbody viewing the miscellaneous marks and red areas where the other boys weren’t quite gentle. Your lips were so swollen from all the kisses and facefucking- along with your throat, that it hurt to talk. 

“Just let me cum one more time, please you muttered oh so quietly, your body completely fucked out but still edged on for more. Minho nods, his thin straight hair bouncing. “Only once?” He teases, grabbing the vibrating toy once more and pressing it firmly against your clit. You tense underneath him, wrapping your arms around his neck as his breath brings goosebumps to the skin across your chest. He nips at your nipple, pulling away slowly to watch you squirm beneath him. He moves the toy in a circular motion, hitting all of the right spots that bring you that little bit closer to release. He uses his propped arm to bring your face close to him, kissing your forehead gently and letting you pull yourself into him. 

He leads you on, bringing you so fucking close to your high that you feel your fingers go numb before he rips the toy away from your cunt and turns it off, a sadistic grin on his face. You pull away from him, a death glare on your face, mentally telling him to eat shit and die as you’re edged. 

“I’m not done with you yet, just hold out a little longer.” He whispers into your ear, tossing the toy across the bed and unbuttoning his jeans. You grab the hem of his shirt, attempting to pull it over his head, which he eventually lets you do once his pants are dropped to the ground. You catch a glimpse of his bulge, practically suffocating within his boxer briefs. 

He slides a finger underneath the waistband of his underwear, pulling them down and kicking them off while simultaneously pushing you further into the middle of the bed. You analyze his movements while he prepares, he moves slow and calculated with bright flames of lust creeping from his eyes. He keeps you on your back, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist with his hands. He knows you are exhausted, fucked out, and completely used but he still needs his release. He doesn’t waste much time, ripping the corner tab off of a condom and pulling it from the package. You take it from his hands, surprising him as you gently roll it down his length. 

He closes his eyes and breathes just a bit heavier at the contact, eventually opening them once you’ve rolled it to his base. He brings an arm from above, lowering his digits onto your lips, pushing his way through to gather spit. He rubs it on his now-protected dick before pushing himself into you with no hesitation. Your legs squeeze around him tight, fingers digging into his shoulder blades at the unexpected impact. Minho lets out a growling moan, stilling his motions while he feels all of you. Chan and Changbin have left the room at this point, one of them running the faucet in the bathroom and the other somewhere else in the house. 

The intimacy of just the two of you feels nice, rather than feeling like you were putting on a show you feel able to relax your mind and just enjoy everything. Minho starts pumping into you, subtle but impacted blows that have you both groaning. He pulls you into a kiss, gripping at your throat while rutting his hips into you until reaching your hilt. His groans turn into whines, his powerful demeanor starting to fade as he feels the pleasure of your walls pulling him in. 

He kisses you softly, though his thrusts get heavier, jolting your body and causing your tits to bounce underneath him. He takes his hand from your throat, palming at your breast and squeezing moderately hard, squelching noises from your wet and used core filling the room. You remove an arm from his shoulders, reaching over for the toy he threw somewhere behind you. Once locating it, you place it firmly on your clit, making sure it was low enough for him to feel the vibrations as well. 

He moans into your mouth, breathing heavily as he pumps into you. The vibrations make you shiver beneath him, the pressure and friction inside of you harmoniously joined with the stimulation of your clit bringing the pressure back into your stomach. Your rugged, beaten walls flit and contract against Minho’s cock, helping you feel every vein and curvature as he fucks you. You start whispering his name, pleading for more as your toes curl and heels dig into his lower back. 

“Now,” Minho grunts, having trouble pounding into you with your walls squeezing his length so tight. “Now, my love.” He whispers into your neck, trying as hard as he can to wait for you to reach your climax. And you succeed, happily as he moans atop of you loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. “Fuck, Y/N.” He mutters, getting in his last few thrusts in before blowing his load. You’re mumbling incoherent words at this point, blinded by the blurry vision of your high, your body melted into the bed, muscles so weak you’re no longer able to wrap your limbs around him. Once he’s completely finished, he holds his position on top of you, resting his head on your chest to try and catch his breath and his dick softens and twitches inside of you. 

You hear Bin and Chan come back into the room, Minho looking up at them and speaking words you couldn’t even hear due to the 4th or 5th orgasm you had in the last two hours. Your body is so tired and fucked out, you barely notice him pull out of you and put his underwear back on. Your chest is still rising with heavy breaths, starting to find its natural rhythm after a few more moments. You felt like you were floating, being carried almost. Who knows, you very well could have been but your eyes and body had succumbed to the exhaustion, no longer functioning regularly. 

The three boys tended to you carefully, cleaning you up as best they could from top to bottom before dressing you in some of Minho’s clean clothes. You awoke that night in bed, the bright clock on the nightstand reading 3:05 AM. Chan was behind you, his arms wrapped around your body while Minho was in front of you, your faces so close together you were breathing each other's air. You hear shuffling, leaning over to look toward the doorway carefully in order to not wake the sleeping men beside you. Binnie walks into the room with a bowl of cereal, jolting back once he notices your eyes on him. 

“Oh, you’re awake.” He whispers with a smile you can just barely see from the light of the clock. “Want a late-night snack?”

#skz #stray kids #skz stray kids #bystay #bang chan #christopher bang #skz bang chan #skz changbin #seo changbin #lee know #minho #lee minho #skz lee know #skz fan fic #skz fan fiction #stray kids fan fic #stray kids fan fiction #smut

[linoluvz]

bed 床🤎

-lee know ; fluff <3

————————————————————————-

linoluvz 🤍

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A cool breeze hits your back,the loss of warmth wakes you. you look to your side only to find the bed empty, the wind hits you again, making you shiver at the cold and tighten the comforter around yourself. you close your eyes - trying to drift back into sleep - the wind blows at your face again, you got up to close the windows and then went back into bed.

you stay in bed like that for another five minutes until you feel your mouth dry up, sighing, you get up from your bed and walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water. hearing a noise you look to the dimly lit living room and find lee know sitting on the couch watching a random anime series. you take your water and walk up to the couch, sitting down next him.

lee know pauses the show he was watching and turns to you “did i wake you darling?” he asked.. “no~” ,you lay your head on his shoulder, “come back to bed please lee know~ i can’t sleep..” lee know coos at how cute you sounded~. “of course love~ just let me tidy up real quick.”

you whine a bit but reluctantly let lee know get up from where you were cuddling, he throws his food away then goes to pick you up. you wrap your legs around him and he carries you into your bedroom, gently placing you down onto the bed, quick to lay down next to you and bring you in his arms. you press your face into his chest and bask in his warmth, finally feeling sleepy again, your eyes closing. “i love you lee know.”. “i love you too darling, so much” - but you didn’t hear him as you’ve already drifted off into sleep from the comfort of being in his arms….

~end~

hi stays!!~

call me luvz,i’ve decided to start a blog here for writing! <3 i’m pretty new to tumblr so i might make some mistakes please help me along the way!! 🤍. this is my first time writing something like this so it’s not very good but i tried my best!!~~.

hope this made your day a little better 🤍

-luvz

#stray kids #lee know #skz ff #skz fan fiction #lee know fluff #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #lee minho #lee know ff #stray kids imagines #lee know imagines #skz fanfic #stray kids ff #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #lee know x reader #skz x reader

[violetsiren90]

~Currently on a temporary hiatus - thank you for visiting my blog and I will return!~

Hey, there! This is a working masterlist for my K-pop fan fics.

Please note that my blog and all its content are 18+, and I ask that minors do not interact with my account.

If you found your way here, welcome!! You are accepted, safe, and loved in this space, and I'm so happy to have you as a reader and fandom pal! 💜

My requests are always open unless otherwise noted, especially for drabbles on current fics and established characters!

(Please see my notes at the bottom of this post for my content boundaries, specifically in the context of requests.)*

I am also over on AO3 under the same pseudonym.

*BTS *Stray Kids

*Content boundaries:

I have hard limits for myself when it comes to certain themes, and will not write anything directly or indirectly related to the following: the sexualization of minors, incest (inlcuding step-cest), rape, abuse glorification, violence glorification, discrimination glorification or normalization, bestiality (this limitation does not extend to monsters, mythical/magical humanoids/demi-humans, or extraterrestrial beings capable of consent/rational thought). This list may not be exhaustive, and if I find myself at any time uncomfortable writing on any theme, I reserve the right to refuse to do so with or without explanation. Thank you for being respectful of these boundaries in your interactions with my page! I love you and have so much confidence in your abilities to treat myself and others with consideration and dignity! 😊❤

#masterlist #violetsiren90 #bts fics #bts imagines #fic writing #bts fan fiction #skz fics #skz imagines #skz fan fiction #stray kids fan fic #stray kids imagines

[writeonwhiskey]

stray kids fanfic editors?

it's been forever since i've written a fan fic and i'm enjoying getting back into it. i would love to find someone who's available and willing to read over my work for clarity/grammar issues and run plot points by, but have no idea where to look

not revealing my age but 'back in my day' of writing Harry Potter/Twlight fan fics we had betas/editors. i usually found mine through interacting with people in my comments but that was on fanfiction.net which feels like an eerie ghost town now. and now days it seems less common for comments...either that or my writing blows? lol EITHER WAY, i'm looking for someone who would be interested in helping me out :)

gotta be 18+ though. send me a message if you're interested or have tips on where to look!

#stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #skz fan fiction #stray kids fanfiction #skz smut #bangchan smut #bangchan fanfic #writing #creative writing

[stxrlostseung]

falling, fallen · kim seungmin 🪼

falling, fallen : chapter one 📎

academic rivals to lovers (seungmin x fem!reader)

word count: 1.3k

warning(s) : mild swearing, slow burn (?)

← prologue ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ chapter 2 →

🪼 a.n: please read the prologue (linked above) if you haven't already !! tysm · · · · · i'm planning to try and post a new chapter every weekend, please look forward to it !! enjoy this one for now 💭

the chatter of students filled the lecture hall.

the dark blue cushioned seats in the curved rows bent into a semicircle around a small stage filled as the minutes ticked, nearing 9 o'clock. it signified the first class in the spring semester for students enrolled in the humanities major at seoul university.

you were one of these students.

a laptop and many papers were laid in front of you on the light wooden table that extended in your long row of seats, nearing the middle of the hall. every now and then you raised your wrist to check the small watch there, watching the small arm rotate around the round object, nearing the start of the lecture with every swift tick.

the chatter throughout the large hall suddenly grew louder as several loud voices joined in. the door swung open and a group of guys’ laughter filled the hall, echoing in the big room. the majority of people who were quietly waiting for the lecture to start looked back towards the door of the lecture hall with an annoyed glance, unhappy that peace and quiet was even further from being achieved. 

you glanced back, annoyed as well, but you added an eye roll and a small scoff when you realized who was responsible for contributing to the noise. 

a group of guys, well known to everyone not only in the humanities major, but throughout the entire campus. though you knew who they were and hated them for all the trouble they caused, there was one person in that group you hated in particular, more than the others.

seungmin.

———————

"you dumbass." "you idiot." "how about you take your brain and shove it up your butt?" "which part of it?" "oh, just shut up, you're so annoying." these conversations and nicknames had been spoken on a (nearly) daily basis, from you to seungmin and from seungmin to you. back and forth. 

you both had known each other since high school, both top students competing against each other to get better marks, to get into better universities than each other. you often strived to overdo each other when it came to almost anything related to grades. 

this was also what landed you two in the roles of academic rivals automatically.

he was the person who was utterly annoying, while you were the person he annoyed regularly. you were supposed to hate him, and you did. 

when you graduated from high school, you’d hoped to escape from him, to get into a different university and part ways with the annoying guy who nagged at you 24/7, played pranks on you, and called you names whenever you saw each other. every time this happened you would just scoff and roll your eyes then walk away, too tired to play along to his childish games. you applied to every good university you could find, hoping the one that offered the highest scholarship would not be the one seungmin went to as well.

in other words, good riddance.

at the end of the june before you were supposed to start school, seoul university accepted your application. with a half-paid scholarship. 

which was the best you could have hoped for, considering that seoul university was one of the best in the country.

you practically screamed of happiness when you opened your laptop that day to find that email there, sitting in your inbox.

you were cheerful for a whole week after you accepted the university’s invitation—

until another series of events started.

how unlucky could you get? “hey idiot, you’re going to seoul university too?”

your wishing had not worked. that extremely annoying voice broke your false hope once again.

seungmin.

you were going to die.

———————

the group of boys continued down the aisle in the lecture hall, ignorant to all the glances everyone was giving them. you turned back and scowled at your laptop, crossing your arms over your chest. 

you had hated seungmin for his antics and teasing since high school, and you weren’t going stop now, in your second year of university. you were immune to his charms, unlike the majority of girls, who would probably swoon for any guy who was tall, good-looking and played any sport. 

suddenly the hall went quiet and you straightened up as our professor came onto the stage, arranging papers on the podium and adjusting the microphone attached to it. she looked around the hall, spotting the seven guys who were in the middle of an aisle and still had not sat down. she scowled and narrowed her eyes at them.

“boys in the back, find a seat in 10 seconds or it’s out of the hall for you,” professor cho said in an authoritative tone through the microphone.

at this, the guys froze and started fumbling to find seats. you almost burst out laughing at their actions.

“for heaven’s sake, boys, there is a perfectly empty row of seats right behind you,” the professor deadpanned, not even hiding her impatience at this point.

this time, you were the one who froze at your professor’s words. that was your row. the row you were sitting in. you quietly cursed under your breath. what a great way to start off the spring semester.

you cringed internally as the guys shifted their gaze towards you. you could practically feel the amount of smugness radiating off all of them as you heard shuffling next to you and then quiet bickering.

as the professor promptly started the lecture, you stole a glance at the seven guys just two seats away, still messing around with each other. you wondered how seungmin could keep up with his grades all the while being so carefree.

frowning, you grabbed your pen, starting to take notes and concentrating on the speaking professor.

two and a half hours passed like ten minutes, in the blink of an eye.

“students, i’m going to assign a project that will revolve around all of you for the entire spring semester,” the professor announced near the end of the lecture, in a better mood since the start.

“you will be partnered with another person, two people per group,” all the students’ immediate whispers began.

professor cho proceeded to explain the project.

“this project is a very important one that will cost you a big portion of your grade, so this is not to be messed around with,” she continued, ignoring everyone’s groans around the lecture hall about stress due to schoolwork.

“i trust you will all choose your partners wisely, thank you,” with that, the collective sound of chairs being pushed back started as the professor disappeared off the stage.

sighing, you stuffed your things back into your bag. if there was one thing you hated in school, it was partnered projects and assignments. wanting to be alone and avoiding social contact sure wasn’t as easy in school.

you stood up and heaved your bag onto your shoulder, heading towards the end of the row to get out of the hall until someone stopped you.

if you said you were straight-up unlucky, you certainly would not be lying. experiencing an unfortunate series of events at the most unexpected times was probably a gift or something from above. or below, whatever.

“hey, idiot,” it was seungmin.

of course he had to come to you with his extremely annoying presence at this very inconvenient time. you should have figured, knowing your luck when you were around him.

you looked up, sighing. he was standing directly in the middle of the aisle, both hands gripping the tables on either side of him, blocking your path.

“what do you want?” you asked impatiently, in a rush to get to your next destination.

seungmin leaned onto one of the tables and smirked.

a smirk that could probably make many girls on campus, excluding you, as you might add, faint to the ground on the spot.

you had started to try and get past the annoying blonde when he suddenly spoke.

“do the project with me.”

taglist OPEN !! please request in comments if you want to be added 🤍

#skz #stray kids #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #fanfiction #skz fan fiction #skz au #stray kids au #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz x reader #stray kids x you #seungmin x reader #skz x y/n #seungmin x y/n #divider by benkeibear

[stayxlix]

off the deep end. (05)

~(part 5) the weight of the world~

pairing: rebel!felix x reader (f)

genre: non-idol au, post-apocalypse/dystopian au. wc: 21.1k (i have no explanation for this, pls forgive me)

series rating: 18+ **minors do not interact**

chapter warnings: violent mature themes, mentions of murder/death, choking (sexual and not sexual), explicit sexual content (consensual, unprotected sex, oral sex (m receiving), fingering), breeding kink if you squint, oppressive government, fighting, weaponry (gunfire, knife use), injury, blood, language, angst!!!, please lmk if i missed any!!

a/n: thank you all so much for your continued support, i have been absolutely blown away by the kindness and interest you guys have shown for my little story :) it truly means the world to me and as always any feedback, likes, and reblogs are more appreciated than you know. i hope you enjoy.♡♡

~series masterlist~

"because time is a merciless force, far more precious than anything tangible in this world. no matter who you are, no matter where you come from, it always runs out. no matter what you do once it is gone, you will never be able to win it back."

“Don’t let me love you.”

Had he really said that?

Had he really dared to speak it into existence? 

Felix squeezed his eyes shut so tightly he saw stars behind them. Stars that reminded him of the night sky, just hours before, with your bodies intertwined on the rooftop underneath it. The steady rhythm of your breathing against his forearm as you slept. And he couldn't lie, the temptation to fall asleep next to you, to let the weariness overtake him was more than strong. Not to mention the fact that Felix was certain it might just be the best night’s sleep he would ever get. But he couldn't afford to fall asleep last night, because he knew what would happen if he didn’t wake up in time. 

And yet, Felix didn’t necessarily mind the need to stay awake. Because instead of being kept up by disturbing memories and his own tormenting thoughts that surrounded them, as was the case on most nights, he'd had something else to anchor him to consciousness last night.

You. 

Felix spent hours underneath the moonlight lightly brushing the hair from your face whenever the breeze blew it back. He traced over the faint bruises on your skin, bruises left by his fingertips, a stark contradiction to your angelic appearance. 

You may not have been an angel in the eyes of the gods above, considering that the things the two of you had done together tonight were far from pure, but you certainly were to him. In that moment, you were an angel to Felix who was everything opposite of what it meant to be one.

You were his angel. 

Another gust of wind caused you to shift even closer, seeking refuge in the warmth of his chest, and suddenly Felix was thankful that he had always been warm blooded. He pulled his jacket over you when he noticed the goosebumps decorated across your skin. The wind pushed your hair back once again, and his eyes fell to the deep purple mark on your neck. 

Another trace of his cursed touch, burned into your skin.

Stupid.

Stupid how badly he wanted them all to see it. Not just the seven boys downstairs, no, the entirety of all nine districts. He wanted them all to witness the traces he had left on your body. A selfish, dangerous desire that threatened to consume him whole.

If it were up to him, Felix would've spent the rest of eternity in last night. But time had never been a friend to Felix, and he was all too familiar with the fleeting nature of happiness. So when the morning light broke through his half-lidded eyes, he furrowed his brows. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to slip from your arms. A soft whine escaped your lips, and he wondered if you would think he had left by choice when you woke to find him missing. He wondered if it would make you regret last night. 

Maybe it would be better if you did.

Felix unwraveled your bodies, carefully lowering your head back down against the blanket. He stood and collected your clothing, folding it and placing it into a neat pile beside your head. And then, after one final glance, his eyes lingering a little longer than they should have on your sleeping form underneath his jacket, he turned to leave. 

Because a promise made to the devil can’t be broken.

And the devil waits for no one. 

And when Felix returned from hell to find you standing inside the entrance of Yellow Wood next to Chan and Minho, he knew he wasn’t making it out of this unscathed. He knew he was done for when he felt his heartbeat quicken at the mere sight of you with his jacket in your hand and his mark on your neck, left exposed by your hair that probably still had his scent in it.

Don’t let me love you. 

Perhaps his words hadn’t really been meant for you at all. Perhaps they had been a desperate plea to some higher power above that he’d never even been given the chance to believe in. 

Perhaps they had been meant for himself, instead. A final request before he crossed a line he was never meant to cross. Before he made choices intertwined with consequences that he couldn’t even begin to understand.

After he watched you disappear with Chan through the front doors, Felix stumbled back down the staircase, making himself comfortable with his back to the railing. The rooftop had since been occupied by Jisung, Jeongin, and Seungmin, and in all honesty he didn’t really feel like talking (or smoking whatever their chosen substance might have been today). Although he couldn’t fault them for it, considering what you were about to get yourselves into. Ever since the nine of you had returned together from the palace, there had been a shift in the atmosphere. Something unspoken between every single one of you. Fear, maybe. Apprehension, sure. That and the gut feeling that something permanent was coming. And he couldn’t blame the others for wanting to make the most out of every fleeting moment of normalcy they had left. 

He certainly had. Last night, with you.

You weren’t his first, but part of him wished you had been because he'd had no idea it was supposed to feel like that. After last night, Felix was positive that he hadn’t been your first either, and he certainly knew better than to think he would be your last. Although he did like to entertain the idea of you belonging solely to him. Even if only for the remainder of your time together.

Fuck, what was wrong with him?

He crashed his head back against the railing, letting out a frustrated groan that echoed throughout the empty space. 

The time passed slowly as he waited for you to return with Chan. Somewhere in between messy thoughts that blurred the lines between reality and desire, between the way Felix wanted you and the way he knew he was never meant to have you, he drifted off into a light sleep. Slumped against the staircase, it must have been several hours before he was abruptly awakened by a shout that rang in through the open windows. 

Had it come from the backyard? 

And was it Chan’s voice? 

His eyes snapped open, his ears perked up, and he stood immediately, locking eyes with Hyunjin who rushed in from somewhere on the main floor. The two made eye contact only briefly before Chan’s muffled voice rang out once more. Felix was all too familiar with the tone it carried. He dreaded that tone, and he knew Hyunjin did too. 

Without exchanging a single word, the two crashed through the front doors. Hyunjin was faster, not by much, but enough to pull ahead of Felix and make it around the corner a few seconds earlier. And it was only when Hyunjin stopped and took a step to the side that Felix saw the reason for the distress in Chan's voice. 

His entire body went rigid. His heart stopped beating. His lungs refused to grant him another breath, and he failed to see anything other than the figure pressed to the ground in front of him. And Felix couldn't move a muscle, but he could feel you there. He wanted to look for you, to pull you in and shield you from the man at his feet. He wanted it more than anything but he just couldn’t bring his body to move. As if his muscles had been paralyzed by something far more wicked than fear, because he knew why the man had followed him here. After all, their meeting earlier hadn’t exactly gone as planned. And if he was being honest, Felix had known for a while that this was coming. 

Or at least, he should have known. He should have known better than to let his guard down, even for a second. For fucks sake he should have known better. Its just that he'd thought, he’d hoped, that if the group left for Miroh soon then it wouldn’t matter. Because by the time the man came for him, the nine of you would be long gone.

But time had never been a friend to Felix. 

As his mind raced with worry and regret, Felix was suddenly ripped from his trance when, out of the corner of his eye, he registered you standing in front of him. Before he knew it your hand was against his cheek. Your touch was tender, the skin of your palm impossibly soft, unlike his own calloused hands. A stark reminder of the differences in the lives you had lived. 

You whispered something to him, a single word, and it didn’t even matter that he couldn’t register what it was. Because just as if you had thrown him a lifeline, Felix was freed from the restraints of fear. Finally able to move again, he wasted no time in shifting his gaze down to meet your own.

But it only made things worse. 

Catastrophically. Worse.

Because when Felix met your eyes he was forced to confront the fact that it wasn’t his own life he was afraid for. He could handle the thought of himself being destined for some kind of horrible fate. He’d come to terms with it years ago, long before he had ever met any of the others.

But not you.

The thought of you being dragged into the same poisonous web that he was caught in filled him with a dread so profound it was as if a physical weight was pressing on his chest.

So he decided in that moment that he would sacrifice himself a thousand times over to keep you safe. The world could destroy him, the man at your feet could drag him back to hell, but Felix would not let the devil lay his hands on you.

And so, after the argument with Chan and Minho regarding whether or not to let the man live, an argument that he couldn’t have cared less about because he’d already made up his mind, Felix knew exactly what he had to do. With every once of determination left in his body, he forced his legs to take him outside. To the backyard, where he told Jisung that he had been instructed to keep watch next. And of course Jisung believed him, because he would have no reason to suspect that the stranger tied to the tree wasn’t really a “stranger” to Felix after all. 

As soon as Jisung disappeared around the corner, Felix crouched down. He assumed the most threatening expression he could manage, devoid of anything but pure venomous hatred, which was more than easy to do. He steadied himself, steadied his breathing so that his voice wouldn't come out shaky. 

And then, Felix proposed a deal with the devil. 

He would set the man free. Untie the ropes that bound him, toss the gun aside, and go back with him willingly. 

And the man was more than eager to accept his proposal, however, what Felix hadn’t realized is that he had come to Yellow Wood without any intent to bring Felix back alive. 

And so after the gun was cast into the woods, and the ropes were untied, within seconds his hands had found their way to Felix’s throat. They clamped down with a merciless grip, forcing Felix to come face-to-face with another crucial decision. 

Even if he somehow managed to break free from the man's grasp, which seemed increasingly less likely with every passing second as his vision began to fade and he lost feeling in his fingertips, Felix knew that it wouldn't matter. Because if he lived tonight, then the man would be back tomorrow, and the next day, and every day after. He would bring the rest of the ghosts from Felix's past and they would never stop looking for him. Which meant that they would never stop looking for you. And for Chan, and Hyunjin, and the rest of the boys. Such a small handful of lives, and yet they were the only thing that mattered at all to Felix in this world. Seven, no eight precious, precious lives that he cherished far more than his own.

And so he slowly loosened his grip around the hands at his throat, granting them permission to press further into his windpipe. Because if Felix gave the man what he wanted tonight, then he would have no reason to return. He would have no reason to come after you, or to learn the truth about who you really were and what you really meant to Felix. And you, and Chan, and the others would have one less obstacle to face. You would be free to save the world just as Felix knew you could, and you certainly didn’t need him to do it.

And as his consciousness wavered, Felix was certain that it must have been due to oxygen loss when his eyes lulled open and he saw you standing over him, outlined by silver moonlight. If angels really did exist, then surely he had been right to think that you were one. Sent to take him somewhere far away that he could finally rest his tired eyes and numb his mind.

It was only after the cool air flooded back into his lungs and he regained consciousness that Felix realized the vision of you standing before him hadn’t been a figment of his imagination or a heavenly apparition at all. That it really was you, in the flesh. Tangible and real. Vulnerable and terrified. 

With a bloody knife in one of your hands, and his beating heart in the other. 

“So let me get this straight. You’re saying that he just freed himself?” Chan's voice overflowed with skepticism as he stared at Felix with a narrow, unwavering gaze.

Shadows cast by the setting sun had overtaken the world once again, including the forest to your back that had lost all of its earlier charm. You stood shielded behind Felix while he attempted to explain to Chan and the others why there was a dead body at your feet. 

“Bullshit. I tied those knots so tightly he couldn’t even move," Changbin interjected, crossing his arms where he stood next to Chan. 

And you remained silent, despite the fact that you had your own doubts about Felix’s explanation of the events leading up to the man’s escape. Even if you hadn’t witnessed anything prior to walking in on the stranger with his hands around his neck, his life hanging on by a thread, you knew he was lying. The way his eyebrow twitched slightly when he spoke, how he hadn't looked up from his feet since the others had joined you outside. And Changbin was right, the man wouldn’t have been able to slip out of the knots he'd tied. The mere suggestion that he had freed himself sounded quite ridiculous, actually, and the very thought caused your anger to return at full force. 

Because why the hell would Felix have released him willingly?

“Does it even matter how he got out? He’s dead. He deserved it anyway,” Minho huffed, stepping up beside Chan. 

“That’s not the point," Chan shook his head in frustration, "if we go around killing people, no matter who they are or what they deserve, then we aren’t any better than those in power now.”

Those in power now.

As in your father, casting his own shadow on the conversation. A constant reminder that, whether you wanted to acknowledge it or not, he was still a part of your life. And he always would be. His presence would persist, his ghost would follow you wherever you went, until he was removed from this world for good. Permanently.

Chan sighed, low and heavy, in an obvious attempt to control his anger.

“Fine, Felix. Let's say that he did somehow manage to free himself, although I hope you realize how absurd that sounds-” 

It does. He knows.

"It still doesn’t explain how he ended up like that.”

He gestured to the body that lie motionless on the ground, and you braced yourself, preparing to face the moment you had been dreading. The fragile trust that you'd begun to build with some of the boys—Chan, Jisung, Seungmin, maybe even Jeongin too—was about to blow to pieces. Your actions would expose the darker side of yourself that you longed to bury, the part that mirrored the ruthless monster that had brought you into this world. Even if you had acted to protect Felix, it didn’t erase the fact that you’d taken a man’s life when you could have chosen to injure him instead. Not that they would have known that, but a stab to the back so deep that it went all the way through to the chest didn’t exactly come across as self defense.

Your heart pounded in your ears, your palms became sweaty, and you could hardly stand the silence as their eyes bore into you, looking through you. So you went to take a step around Felix. You opened your mouth but before you could gather the courage to confess, the freckled boy intercepted your movement, blocking your path.

“What do you think happened?" He spoke firmly, matter-of-factly, with a hint of irritation laced in between words, "He came after us.” 

All eyes suddenly fell to Felix and you closed your own, waiting for him to continue. To seal your fate by exposing to them what you had done. But to your surprise, that moment never came. 

“He came after us, so I killed him."

I killed him. 

I.

His sudden revelation caught you off guard, and because you were actually physically stunned, it took several moments for you to conceal the astonishment that had fallen across your face. When you turned to look at him he remained stoic, resolute, as he avoided your inquiring eyes.

Why would he take the fall?

Maybe it was best to let him. 

Chan observed the exchange between you and Felix, he studied it, before landing his eyes on you. A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed hard, searching for the strength to meet his eyes. With a slight nod, you confirmed Felix’s lie. Chan didn’t know you like he knew Felix, which meant he couldn’t read you as well. And you hated how easy it had always been for you to lie. Just another trait inherited from your father, another reminder of the darkness that flowed within your veins.

Chan turned around slowly to face the others, and you couldn’t help but feel a small pang of regret at your decision to allow Felix to take the blame. You didn’t want to lie to any of them, especially not Chan, but in that moment you were more than thankful for the temporary escape from the consequences of your actions. Whatever they may have been.

“We need to get rid of the body before morning. In case any of them come back,” Chan spoke with authority as he addressed the group. 

Minho and Changbin came forward immediately, and you took a few steps out of their way. As they reached down to lift the body, Chan instructed Hyunjin to find something they could use to dig. 

“Everyone else get inside. We leave tomorrow for Miroh. We’ll load the supplies in the morning, so just get some rest. Pack your things, and bring it all….in case..." He trailed off because there was no need to finish the sentence. His unspoken words hung heavy in the air. 

In case we don’t make it back.

With solemn expressions, the group dispersed, footsteps muffled by the earth beneath their feet. Jeongin trailed behind Seungmin and Jisung as they moved quickly toward the building. Casting one more inquisitive glare between you and Felix, Chan joined Minho and Changbin in carrying the body.

Felix was the first one inside after his hurried footsteps had taken him to the front of the group, and you had a feeling you knew just where he was headed when he hastily climbed the staircase, hands in his pockets. Jisung hesitated a moment, looking back to you as if he wanted to say something before ultimately deciding against it. With a tender glance in your direction, one that made you think he might have wanted you to follow him, he wandered off into the main floor. Jeongin leaned in and whispered something to Seungmin who hushed him as the two followed each other up the staircase. At the top, they walked off in the opposite direction that Felix had taken. 

And there you were, left standing alone with a choice to make. 

Beyond drained at this point, both physically and mentally, you probably could have collapsed right there in the entryway. Or maybe you could claim one of the many empty rooms upstairs. There were certainly enough options to find a secluded place for yourself, and yet, despite how frustrated you were with Felix, despite your anger at him for the events that had unfolded tonight, part of you desperately longed to be by his side. After all, you were the only one that knew just how close he had come to death.

And so the choice became an easy decision.

As you ascended the staircase, you traced the railing with your hand. Every step you took down the hallway, every rung on the ladder you climbed, brought you back to last night. Impossible to ignore the way that you could literally feel yourself there, just twenty four hours before. And it might have been surprising, how much could change in a single day, if the course of your entire life hadn’t been turned upside down over and over again in the span of less than a month.

Grabbing onto the final rung of the ladder, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to find him there on the other side. Its not like you had any desire to talk about what had happened tonight. There was just something indescribable that compelled you to be next to him now, overpowering any hesitation that might have crossed your mind.

After pulling yourself up onto the rooftop, your heart sank when your eyes fell to the shadowy figure with his back turned to you, lying on the harsh ground with his dark hair splayed out against the hoodie that he used as a makeshift pillow. The thin blankets lie untouched next to him, almost making it seem as though he’d left them there on purpose, as if he had been expecting someone to join him. You stared at his back for a moment, picturing the faded scar that lie across his shoulder underneath the thin material of his shirt. 

You weren’t sure if he was asleep at first, and when he stirred you froze, debating on whether or not you had time to leave before he turned around. But he didn’t move any further and after a moment of silence, eyes trained on his steady figure, you took a few tentative steps. As quietly as you could, you crossed the still air over fallen leaves and thick vines that stretched along the rooftop ground. After lowering yourself to sit beside him on the blankets, you glanced down at his profile, illuminated by the moon. Plush lips parted ever so slightly, his features cascaded down into a gentle frown even in his sleep. You hovered a hand over his face before lightly brushing the hair from it. After a moment longer, you decided to stay, settling down on the blankets with your back against his. 

Just a short time ago, you might have allowed yourself to succumb to tears. Tears of frustration, fear, grief. Grief for the version of yourself that you had lost tonight. Frustration at the freckled boy with the stars in his eyes, and the debilitating fear that washed over you when you thought you really were going to lose him. But you had changed so much in such a short span of time. You could feel yourself growing numb to the pull of your emotions as they became easier and easier to ignore. So holding back the tears, you kept your eyes open for as long as you could until exhaustion began to outweigh the images in your mind of a dead body at your feet and your mothers knife, bloody in your hands.

After ten minutes, maybe twenty, maybe an hour, you felt a warm hand snake around your waist, lifting you from your blissful state of semi-consciousness. You remained still and kept your eyes closed because if it was a dream then you would have given anything to stay asleep just a little longer. When the grip around your waist tightened, pulling you into a protective embrace, you were almost certain that it was a dream. Nothing more than a fragment of your imagination as your subconscious longed for some form of comfort.  And just as you began to slip back into the welcoming darkness, you could have sworn that the tone carried by the wind sounded a lot like the voice your ears had come to crave.

“I’m sorry, princess.”

It was the last thing you remembered from that night as you allowed his words to fade into nothing, still questioning if he had really said them at all.

The moon never stayed for very long. 

When you woke the following morning, it was barely morning at all. The faded glow of dawn struggled to find its way through the clouds, casting familiar shades of gray across the sky above. Your eyes fluttered open to momentary disorientation, wondering where you were and why you hadn’t been met with the walls of your bedroom, but it took only seconds for your memory to return. Flooding back as you became aware of the strong arms wrapped tightly around your body, the warm breath grazing against the back of your neck.

In another world, far away from the one you had always known, you might have turned around his embrace. Repositioning yourself to face him, you might have taken the entire morning to memorize every detail of his delicate features. Might have stayed there all day with him on the rooftop, entangled in each other as if you were the only two souls left in existence. 

In another life, you might have leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before drifting back off to sleep beside him. Warm, protected, safe, and entirely at ease. Because you wouldn't have a past to run from or a burden the size of the world on your shoulders. You wouldn't have been reminded of last night when you sat up and made note of the red mark etched across his neck. 

In another life, it wouldn't have been there at all. 

You winced as you turned away, deciding that you needed to get away, before tempting yourself with one more second alone with him like this. And so with a heavy heart, you resisted the urge to crawl back into the embrace that felt a little too much like the home you had never known. 

Shivering slightly when the cool breeze hit your skin, you ran your hands through your hair, ignoring the emptiness in your stomach and the thirst on your tongue. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, but it wasn't enough to erase the images burned into your memory from last night. You wondered if anything ever would be.

When you put a hand on the ground to push yourself up to stand, you froze. Stopped by an insistent force holding you back, preventing you from moving even an inch further. You glanced down at the determined hand clasped around your wrist. Firm, but gentle all the same. 

Silver rings against calloused fingers. 

You traced the intricate details of the bands with your eyes, considering the offer they represented, but you couldn’t accept. You couldn’t stay, no matter how desperately you wanted to. If you had to sleep next to him every single night for the rest of your time spent together to ensure his safety, then so be it. But you would always make sure to leave in the morning. Because you couldn’t afford to offer him anything more than that. You’d done more than enough damage to the both of you two nights ago by allowing yourself to succumb to such primitive, selfish desires. And it scared you, no no it absolutely terrified you, to feel the way you did last night as you watched the life drain from his eyes.

And so in one harsh movement you withdrew your wrist from his grasp. 

He didn't say anything. Not when you stood. Not when you found the ladder and took hold of the first rung. He didn’t call out for you, and you didn’t look back.

After making it inside, you allowed yourself a moment of solitude as you passed by the rooms that stretched along the hallway. Most were empty, although you did stumble upon Jeongin and Seungmin fast asleep in one. Jeongin seemed to have claimed the entire space for himself as he lay sprawled out with an elbow in Seungmin's face. The sight caused a smile to tug at your lips, almost enough to distract you from the uneasiness that had found a permanent place in your chest.

Almost.

It didn’t take long for you to come to the conclusion that you could have spent forever within the walls of Yellow Wood. Surrounded by the remnants of a past that had long been forgotten, just like the souls who had left them behind. Shelves that stood hardly intact were lined by books, with many of their pages loosely scattered across the ground. You wondered what secrets they held, and as you continued on you wondered what secrets each of the boys had made inside the walls of Yellow Wood. Cherished memories, favorite places to hide, where they went to be alone when it all became too much. 

When you reached the main floor you found your way to the room that you had been locked outside of last night with Hyunjin. Where Minho and Chan had argued about the fate of the intruder..before you solidified the decision for them.

The door was open, and when you entered you found Chan alone inside. He was leaned over a long table in the middle of the room, hands resting on the surface. A number of documents lay scattered in front of him. One particularly large sheet stretched nearly the entire length of the table, curling at the edges. It appeared to be a map, and you made note of your fathers journal where it lay open on top of it amidst the chaos. A small candle that was no longer necessary lie on the surface of the table, nearly burned through.

When you found your place at his side, Chan handed you a small canteen. You gladly took him up on the offer, putting it to your lips and taking a few sizable gulps, and it wasn’t until the lukewarm liquid trickled down your throat that you realized it had been sore. The water tasted stale, at best, and anyone from the palace would have spit it out in an instant. But you liked the taste. It helped to ground you, reminding you where you were and what lie outside the walls that surrounded you now.

“Didn’t sleep?” You turned to face Chan, who had circles so dark underneath his eyes it looked as if it had been a lot longer than just one night since he had gotten any sort of rest. And rightfully so, because while you might have assumed the weight of the world on your shoulders only recently, Chan had been carrying that burden for far longer. 

“Couldn’t,” he responded without looking up from the table, squinting as his eyes remained fixed on the pages strewn about beneath him. You reached a hand out to move some of them around, and he straightened his posture before turning and unraveling something from a cloth at his side.

"This is yours, yeah?"

Your gaze dropped to the knife in his hand as he held it out to you. Your knife, your mother's knife, that you had carried with you for as long as you could remember. The knife that you’d left lying in the grass last night after using it to end a life. You took it from him without a word, tracing your thumb along the intricate floral design carved into the handle. Making note of the dried blood that saturated the blade. 

"Want to tell me the truth about what happened last night?"

Your eyes fell back to the table as you slid the knife into its usual place in your waistband and took your bottom lip in between your teeth. Chan studied your face for a moment before coming to the conclusion that no matter how much he pried, you weren’t going to give him what he wanted. With a sigh, not wanting to push you too far because of the fragile nature of your developing relationship, he brought a hand to his forehead where he pressed a few fingers against his temple.

“Look, y/n I get it. I don’t know what happened and you don’t have to tell me now if you’re not ready. Just remember that if we’re going to have any chance out there then we need to trust each other. Completely.”

Tell that to the others. 

You nodded without looking up from the table and after a moment, he spoke again.

“Recognize this?” He pointed to your father's journal and you nodded for a second time. The map that lie underneath it resembled the map on the wall in your fathers study, although the one in front of you now was far less detailed. 

He must have taken note of the way it caught your attention, brushing some of the papers away to expose it further.

“We’re familiar with the inner districts, but anything beyond is pretty much unknown. We haven't been outside of six in years."

He picked up a loose sheet of paper from the table and looked it over before handing it out to you.

You recognized the words on the page. You had seen them before. Scribbled on the missing pages of your fathers journal, and you could only assume that Chan had been smart enough to jot down the contents before handing them back over to you to return to your father’s study. When you looked up from the page he pointed to a spot near the edge of the map and your eyes followed. 

"Here."

He tapped his finger against it once.

"If this is all correct, then it should be right here..” 

"Miroh." You whispered underneath your breath, and he hummed in agreement beside you. 

"And we are..." He lifted his finger back up and brought it to the opposite side of the map, closest to where you stood. He picked up a short wooden pencil and drew a line loosely connecting the two points, and suddenly you understood why he hadn't slept. 

Because it wasn't going to be an easy journey to get to the supposed location of Miroh from your current position in District 6. It wouldn’t be as simple as turning around and heading behind you. As the districts were arranged in concentric rings, reaching Miroh where it lie at the border between Districts 1 and 2 meant that you would have a choice to make, with several possible paths laid out in front of you. 

"So we either...." you trailed off, tracing the thin line he had drawn over and over again with your eyes. 

“Move straight ahead and cross back through District nine”, he finished your sentence and you swallowed dryly at the mention of your former residence, “or we take a longer route, we stay in six and trace it around until we spit out on the opposite side of nine. And then we head straight back into the outer districts that way. Of course, the biggest problem with taking the longer route is..." 

He took a swig from the canteen, and you took the liberty of finishing his sentence for him this time.

“Fuel."

He gave you a confirming nod. "Fuel. Fuel and supplies..among other things.”

So it was a choice between the lesser of two evils, really. 

Heading back into the heart of District 9, swarming with your father and his guards, meant certain death for every single one of the boys if you got caught. Then again, tracing along the border of District 6 raised concerns regarding fuel, supplies, and prolonged time spent in the unknown. 

Visually displayed out in front of you like this, it all seemed so much further away.

Together, the two of you spent the better part of the morning trying to come up with the best route to take, relying heavily on your knowledge of your fathers favored routes and Chan's experience in the districts. You sat at the edge of the table tracing out the routes that you knew your father and his army frequented. Information you had gained over time from eavesdropping in on important conversations and studying the maps in his office. 

As time passed, the rest of the boys began to trickle in. Minho and Jisung came in first together, followed by Changbin, and before long you were surrounded by seven familiar faces. 

All except for one. 

It quickly became apparent that the amount of fuel you'd managed to obtain from the palace wouldn’t be enough to get you to Miroh and back. Minho expressed concern about whether or not it would even be enough to get you there in the first place, but he didn’t say anything further when Chan reminded him that the best option to save fuel would be to cross straight through the heart of District 9 at the start of your journey. Which you had all collectively agreed was not an option. 

You suggested heading inward, following inside District 7 or 8 instead of 6, but Chan was worried that it would still be too close to your father, and that people there would know your face by now, and he was probably right. Changbin suggested heading into the outer districts from the start, beginning with 5 and so on, but Chan shut down that idea too.

Your apprehension grew with every passing moment as the boys offered each of their opinions. A slight adjustment had to be made when Jisung reminded Chan of the brief encounter where he and Seungmin had come across the supposedly abandoned shack with the liquor stash, and he’d almost “had his dick shot off” by the owner. Chan rolled his eyes as he erased that part of the route. 

“What about this,” you reached for the pencil and he placed it in your palm. You traced a faint line the opposite direction. 

“-Not if you plan on making it alive.”

The pencil slipped from your grasp as your head shot up in the direction of the door. It was a natural response to sound of the voice that had become one of the only constants in your life since finding out the truth about the world. The voice with the bittersweet allure that you both longed to hear and wished you never would have known, as it brought out emotions that you only hoped would remain buried forever. Emotions that rendered you vulnerable, weak.

Felix stood in the doorway, leaned against the frame with black strands of hair cascading down into his face. Jawline sharp, arms crossed, dark eyes heavy set. The room fell silent as tension creeped back into the air. Tension that lingered from last night, as you were fairly certain they all suspected that he hadn’t told the full truth about what had happened. Or perhaps it was tension that lingered between the two of you, after you left him on the rooftop this morning following your breakdown in front of him last night. Either way, his sudden presence only magnified the strain in the air. 

He lifted himself from the frame and stepped out into grey light that filtered in through cracked windows. He took a few purposeful steps and you held your breath momentarily when he passed behind you, lightly brushing against your back. There wasn’t much space at all for him to squeeze in between you and Chan, but he made it work, and you forced your eyes to look anywhere other than his arms as his muscles flexed when he leaned over the table. 

“Anywhere but there,” he emphasized, while you stared at the wall over Jeongin’s shoulder. You watched out of the corner of your eye as Felix erased the line you had just drawn, using the other end of the pencil to create a new one. 

And with that, the path to Miroh was solidified. You would follow District 6 around, avoiding the inner districts at all costs, until you reached the point where it would be a straight shot back to Miroh. 

When Chan folded the map, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as the solidification of a route made the daunting journey ahead that much more real. Not to mention the fact that the distance to reach your destination seemed far greater and more vigorous than you had originally pictured in your mind. 

Despite your uncertainty about the future, one thing had become clear through your time spent planning a route.

The unspoken bond between the boys.

It made you long for whatever it was they shared, the unity that propelled them forward as a team. And not a single one of them had brought up the fact that what you were about to do was insane. 

Which it was.

It absolutely was.

The air outside hung heavy with an eery stillness. The world lie motionless as if it was waiting, watching.

In silence you helped the boys hurriedly load the rover with everything that would fit, throwing bags in through the open roof or the open frame and onto the seats. 

Apprehension wove its way deeper into your veins as you glanced over your lifeline of miscellaneous supplies. If Chan was right, if Miroh wasn’t a myth and your fathers journal held the truth on how to reach it, if your blood really was the key that would get you inside, then there would be enough provisions there to keep you alive until you were able to come up with the next part of your plan.  

But if one tiny detail went wrong along the way, if you experienced even the slightest disruption among countless unknowns and potential threats…well it didn't really matter, did it? Because it was a risk that at this point, none of you really had much choice but to take. 

After heaving a particularly heavy bag into the vehicle, you wiped the sweat from your brow and looked up to see Minho stepping out of the building with a small black duffel bag slung around his shoulder, his arms piled high with what appeared to be very basic medical supplies. You took a step back as he approached the side of the vehicle. When he went to toss everything inside, a roll of gauze slipped from his grasp and you kneeled to pick it up, handing it out to him. As he reached for it your eyes fell to a thin bracelet around his wrist that looked as if it had been crafted from a very fine, expensive material commonly used to make accessories in District 9. The bracelet must have held significant meaning for him to have left it on, considering the fact that wearing such an item outside of the Inner Circle would make him a target for anyone looking to make a considerable profit.

When you glanced up your eyes met briefly before he turned away. 

“There's more supplies inside,” he grumbled, pulling his sleeve back down before heading in the direction of the building.

Ever since you’d found out the truth about Minho, maybe because you felt some sort of estranged connection to the way his past vaguely mirrored your own, curiosity tugged at your thoughts whenever you saw him. 

Why had he left District 9? 

Was he driven by similar reasons as you? Or had different motives fueled his choice to leave behind a lifestyle of comfort and safety. Maybe it hadn’t been a choice for Minho at all. Either way, whatever it was, you didn’t have much confidence that you'd ever get to find out because despite your similarities, his resentment for you ran deep. That much was clear.

After the supplies were packed tightly into the vehicle, the boys ran back inside to collect the last of their belongings. All except for Changbin, who remained outside with you because he "didn't have anything worth bringing, anyway.”  His powerful demeanor held a hint of uneasiness that mirrored your own doubts.

As the two of you stood in silence, you glanced down at the small backpack in your hand, realizing that in your panic to gather essential supplies for the group you’d managed to neglect your own needs. It contained only a handful of your own clothes, and you wished you would have taken the time to pack at least one more pair of pants or maybe a sweater. Something a little warmer than the light jacket you sported now because of the unpredictable nature of the weather. But you'd only been given so much time and weapons and food were far more important than your own comfort in the bigger picture.

With a deep breath you adjusted the straps of the backpack and put your arms through, securing it to your back.

After the vehicle was topped off with fuel, a moment of stillness settled over the group as the nine of you stood in front of Yellow Wood. Your eyes shifted between the boys, taking in the faces of the only individuals in the world you would have no choice but to trust from this moment on.

When your gaze fell to Felix, you were surprised to find his piercing brown eyes already staring back. It was a fleeting moment, a stolen glance lasting no longer than a few seconds, but it caused your heart to ache nonetheless. Because in his eyes you detected something bordering along the lines of a plea for understanding. Almost as if he’d recognized the gravity of what he had done last night, and the choice it had resulted in you having to make. 

And yet, your disappointment and frustration with him lingered because last night had left you even more conflicted about your feelings for him than the first night you shared together on the rooftop. It wouldn’t be easy to forget the fear that gripped you the moment you turned the corner and saw the stranger with his hands wrapped tightly around his throat. It would be even harder to dismiss the overwhelming relief that flooded your veins when you found your way back into his arms.

A stolen glance turned into a battlefield of emotions. And you had no intention of losing the war.

Ripping your eyes from Felix, you took one more glance at the building that towered above you. Chan brought everyone back to the present moment when he announced that he was going to run back inside to grab one last thing he had forgotten. 

This prompted the rest of boys to begin piling into the rover, with Jeongin and Seungmin first to take their place in the very back amongst the supplies. You trailed Felix with your eyes as he disappeared around the corner of the building, returning only moments later atop the bike, revving the engine and commanding your attention as if it didn't already belong to him. The trace of softness in his eyes had been replaced by ready determination. He brushed his hair back, revealing the sharp features of his face as he tied the signature bandana around the lower half. When you took a few steps in his direction, he looked to you with unspoken expectation that you would join him on the bike as it had become something of a routine between the two of you.

But this time, something within you resisted. 

The freckled boy had a blatant, persistent disregard for his own life. Something that you weren't willing to let go of just yet, despite the fact that you weren’t willing to acknowledge why it bothered you to the extent that it did. 

But it did. 

With every fiber of your being, it did.

So instead of taking your usual place behind him, you crossed right in front of the bike, stepping up to the rover where Jisung was seated in the middle row next to Changbin. You stole a quick glance back at Felix where you found his stare fixed straight ahead, refusing to meet your eyes. 

Minho, who had been watching your calculated actions, snickered from his place in the passengers seat. 

You put a hand against the open frame of the vehicle and pulled yourself up, glancing between Jisung and the empty seat beside him.

"Thats Hyunjin's spot, but you're more than welcome to take it," he smirked playfully as the taller golden haired boy approached the vehicle behind you. 

You shrugged and plopped down next to Jisung. Hyunjin glared at you before surveying the space inside the vehicle. After coming to the conclusion that there wasn't enough room for him amongst the supplies, he sauntered over to Felix who now had his hands clenched tightly around the handles of the bike, posture rigid, as he continued to stare ahead at nothing in particular.

Hyunjin swung a long leg around the bike behind Felix, and something unexpected fell over you when he wrapped his arms around the younger boy's waist. The feeling grew when your intuition told you that it wasn't the first time the two of them had been this close. 

When Chan came running back outside, the heavy doors to Yellow Wood slammed shut behind him for the final time, demanding your attention. He took a quick glance between you and Felix, taking note of the peculiar seating arrangement before handing something out to you.

“I knew we had one more lying around somewhere."

You reached for it, running the soft fabric of the bandana through your fingertips. It matched those that the others had worn the night of raid, the ones that each of them had begun to tie around their faces now.

"Put it on, and don't take it off for anyone. Pull your hood up and tuck your hair in too." He spoke firmly, with no room for negotiation. Not that you would have argued anyway. You were well aware that concealing your identity was just as important as making it to Miroh.

You offered up a simple “got it" in return, acknowledging his instruction.

Satisfied with your response, Chan hopped into the driver's seat in front of you where he proceeded to secure his own bandana around his face. You watched from your position as he glanced down to Felix. 

"We stay together, Felix, I mean it. Don't do anything stupid,” he emphasized. “If you see any of them out there we handle it together. Like we always do."

Them.

Including not only your father and his army, but the monsters from Felix's past, however many more of them there may be. And you couldn’t help but wonder just how many additional enemies the boys had made out there—enemies that were now yours too, by default. With Chan’s warning, the possibility of separation also creeped in to your mind. The mere thought of someone discovering your true identity sent shivers racing down your spine because the consequences could mean forced separation from the entire group, including the freckled boy staring at you now.

You took a deep breath as the engines roared to life. With one final glance to Felix you had the sudden urge to explain to him that your decision to avoid joining him on the bike was nothing more than a desperate attempt to protect him from the danger that was now inevitable for anyone who came too close to you.

You’d made a promise, after all. 

Don’t let me love you. 

Your fleeting regret was swallowed by your world falling to pieces again as Chan stepped on the gas pedal and the vehicle jolted forward. You lifted your arms behind your head and tied the bandana around the lower half of your face. In the rearview mirror, you watched as Yellow Wood disappeared behind you, keeping a part of your innocence with it. Buried somewhere with the body in the backyard. 

Even if you never laid eyes on it again, you would be forever thankful that it had allowed you one night of euphoric ignorance before taking the plunge into the unknown. Even if that ignorance had ben ripped from your fingers the moment you thrust your knife into the back of a stranger. You just hoped your memories of the night on the rooftop with Felix would be strong enough to distract you from whatever darkness lie ahead. Yellow Wood wasn't good or evil, it was a place. Nothing more than a temporary refuge that had served its purpose for those who had known it lifetimes ago, for eight boys who called it home when they didn’t have anywhere else to go, and for you in your short time spent sheltered inside its walls. 

Nothing more, and yet, the loss tugged at your heart as you watched it slip away.

But it certainly wasn't the first time you'd felt this way. And so you decided that maybe there is always a part of yourself left behind when you leave a place permanently, with a gut feeling that you'll never make it back.  

You pulled the hood up as the vehicle raced through the trees and down the hill. You leaned your head back against the seat while the wind whipped through the open frame against your face. With half-lidded eyes, you kept a steady gaze on the motorcycle in front, allowing your shoulder to rest against Jisung's. Partly due to the cramped space, but more so because you were vulnerable, and scared, and desperate for any form of comfort. 

Like Felix who's own touch you had begun to crave in moments like this, Jisung’s touch was comforting too, just, in a different way. And if you were being honest, in that moment it did little to ease your nerves. But you kept your shoulder pressed firmly against his nonetheless, digging your nails into your palms, counting the minutes in your head. 

Before you left, Chan informed you that District 6 was often considered as a kind of physical border between the inner and outer districts. He had also warned you about the unpredictable nature of its atmosphere, and it didn’t take long for you to realize just how right he had been. The air that surrounded you now only magnified the feeling of lifelessness amidst the desolate landscape. 

As you ventured further into the outskirts of District 6, once abundant grass gave way to a predominantly barren expanse. With very sparse patches of green, it was a stark contrast to the forest that surrounded Yellow Wood and the thicker vegetation that you were used to seeing deep within District 9. The breeze was cold but the air was stuffy. And it smelled like mortality, and death, and loss, as if even the earth beneath your feet longed to be brought back to life. The atmosphere around you hung low and heavy with a palpable weight. A mixture of smoke, ash, and decay collected against your skin, wrapping you in a suffocating hold. It was smothering and seemed to fall in waves, alternating between thick pockets of dense fog and areas of cleaner air where you took every opportunity to fill your lungs. Each breath you inhaled caused you to cough, and it didn’t take long for the soreness to return to your throat as the pollution in the air left a bitter taste in your mouth. You figured the boys must have been used to the toxicity and the way it clawed at your lungs because although they cleared their throats frequently, they were nowhere near as affected as you. 

Felix looked back in the direction of the rover periodically and you met his gaze every single time. Scanning his face for any hint of distress, hoping he wasn't able to sense your own discomfort. Occasionally, his eyes flicked behind him to Hyunjin before returning ahead. 

When you came up upon a particularly dense patch of haze covering the earth ahead, Felix slowed the bike and looked to Chan for direction. After quick assessment of the situation, Chan brought a hand up, signaling to Felix to keep moving forward. You gritted your teeth, shifting uncomfortably next to Jisung, and after another quick glance your way Felix took the lead once again. The roar of the bike’s engine echoed throughout the silence in the air when he accelerated.

When the air around you turned heavy and your incessant coughing resumed, Jisung decided he’d had enough of your suffering. He turned you into his shoulder and pulled the hood higher up over your head so that you could breathe into his shirt. You stayed like that for a while, burying your face further into him despite the fact that you didn’t like not having eyes on the horizon or more specifically, the motorcycle up ahead. But you didn’t have much of a choice as taking slow, deliberate breaths through the fabric of his shirt acted like a filter, bringing a significant amount of relief to your aching lungs. 

As the moments passed, it felt increasingly foreign to share such an intimate moment with someone other than Felix. Not that you were comfortable with him yet by any means, you had never really been comfortable with anyone that wasn’t Jisoo, but part of you wished it was him that you were clinging to instead. And even if you couldn't deny the importance of the bond you were beginning to form with Jisung, somewhere buried deep down, a very selfish part of you wished it was Felix instead. 

The rover tore up the ground as it moved and when the atmosphere thinned around you once again, Jisung tapped your shoulder lightly.

Slowly, you lifted your head to meet his eyes. 

“You good?” he called out, raising his voice to compete with the sound of the engine.

Your head was beginning to throb, you felt more than a little dizzy, and with every bump the rover came across your stomach churned violently, but you managed to give him a soft nod in return. Keeping the bike in your peripherals, you locked eyes with Chan in the rearview mirror. He studied your face for a moment before leaning over and shouting something to Minho that was inaudible to you over the roar of the engine.

Minho pushed the heavy gun in his lap to the side as he bent down to grab something from the floor in front of him, coming back up with a canteen in his hand. 

When he turned around and handed it out to you you could have sworn that you saw the faintest glimmer of sympathy in his eyes. Although you quickly acknowledged that it was probably just the lack of fresh air messing with your senses….because there was no way in hell that Minho of all people gave a shit about your condition. As far as you knew, he was probably getting some sick sense of enjoyment out of your misery.

As the minutes blurred into hours and the hours blurred into each other, impossible to track when you couldn’t see the position of the sun in the sky through the clouds, the landscape began to change again before your eyes. Up ahead, the earth transformed into a gradual incline, taking the shape of a towering hill that stretched far and wide. Making note of the change in surroundings, Felix brought the bike to a temporary halt, allowing Chan to catch up once again.

The freckled boy pulled down his bandana and raised his voice, shouting over the rumble of both engines as they idled. It was difficult to hear but you managed to catch a few of his words, leading you to believe that he was suggesting that he and Hyunjin check out the area up ahead before the rest of the group. His proposition made you tense, and your heart quickened when Chan accepted, instructing Felix to stay within sight. Earning a nod from both boys in return. 

Taking note of your concern, Jisung leaned down and responded with an encouraging “They’re just going to check it out. Don’t worry, its all good,” before landing a hand on your knee and squeezing for added reassurance.

Felix tensed as he observed your interaction. And it didn't matter that he couldn't feel the warmth of the sun against his skin, because he felt searing flames rise up inside of him when he caught a glimpse of the way you looked at Jisung. Maybe he deserved to feel like this.

His heart skipped a beat when you turned from Jisung to met his own eyes. He held your stare until Chan asked for the second time what he was waiting for and he swiftly turned back around, replacing the bandana over his face.

You watched intently with the rest of the boys as the bike climbed the elevated landscape up ahead. At the top, Felix turned to Hyunjin and the two appeared to share quick word.

Felix looked back.

The motorcycle engine revved. 

“Don’t do it…” Changbin muttered from the other side of Jisung, and your grip on the edge of the seat tightened as the bike took off in the opposite direction, descending down the hill and out of your line of sight. In front of you, Chan spat out a curse before slamming the key in the ignition and restarting the engine. 

It wasn’t until the rover reached the top of the hill that you caught sight of what had captured their attention. On the other side, the earth descended into a wide valley that looked as if it might have been home to a mighty river once. It was now dry and almost entirely barren, aside from a handful of dying trees and brush. At the bottom, a small beige tent sat partially covered by faint gray smoke that rose up from a pile of dying embers at its side. You spotted Felix and Hyunjin beside it, already inspecting the seemingly abandoned campsite.

Minho leaned over to speak to Chan who you watched in the mirror, far too focused on the scene before you to respond. He gripped the steering wheel, ultimately coming to the conclusion that he had no choice but to step on the gas. He brought the rover to a stop beside the tent at the valley’s lowest point as the engine’s rumble faded into silence. 

“Nobody touch anything,” Chan warned, his eyes scanning the surroundings for any signs of hidden threats, “-and stay alert. We shouldn’t even be doing this, we need to keep moving.” 

But the boys were hungry and eager to stretch their legs, so they got out and began rummaging through the bags of supplies in search of one with food in it. Changbin pulled out a sizable gun from the back, his fingers gripping it confidently, and Minho cocked his own weapon when his feet hit the earth. Seungmin slung the bow around his shoulder and loaded an arrow, heeding Chan’s warning to stay alert. 

As soon as you dropped down from the vehicle your eyes went right to Felix who, despite his quick decision to approach the campsite, appeared visibly uneasy. His eyes scanned the area repeatedly until they landed on you at which point there was a subtle shift in his demeanor, a flicker of vulnerability in his expression. After a moment, he subtly made his way over. You noticed the slight twitch of his fingers as his gaze traveled up and down down your figure, almost as if he wanted to reach out to you, but he held himself back. 

Part of you wished that he hadn’t.

Because the vulnerable moment between the two of you was quickly shattered when Chan came storming in from behind you, shoving Felix's shoulder, causing him to stagger slightly.

“Did you not hear what I said about staying in sight?!” He exclaimed, his voice rising with every syllable that fell from his lips.

Felix steadied himself and took a step back in defense before responding, his voice tinged with a hint of defiance. “We needed to make sure it was safe, you should have stayed behind until we knew it was clear-"

“-We could have gone another way!” Chan’s words rang out as he closed the space between them again.

“There isn’t time!" Minho interjected, hurrying over and positioning himself between the two, firmly reminding Chan to keep his voice down.

The group behind you fell silent as they witnessed the exchange. And Minho wasn't exactly wrong. After all, the campsite did appear to be abandoned and to completely avoid it would have taken more time, more fuel, more risk in changing the route. Although that didn’t necessarily imply the need to come down and inspect it up close..

"Fucking reckless. Both of you." Chan shook his head at Felix and Hyunjin before turning around to address the group as a whole. “Let’s just get the hell out of here. We can find somewhere else to stop and rest after the sun goes down,” he continued. 

And because the unsettling scene before you made your skin crawl, you were more than eager to oblige.

You went to take a step in the direction of the rover when your foot caught on something, causing you to stumble and collide into Hyunjin at your side. You looked up at him with wide eyes, lifting your hands from his firm chest, bracing yourself for a particularly unpleasant reaction, but you were surprised to find his gaze fixated on the ground behind you instead. Following his stare, you spun around where your eyes landed on something at your feet. 

A small gold medallion lay nestled in the grass. You bent down to pick it up and your stomach twisted sickly as you ran your thumb across the surface to wipe off the dirt.

There, in your palm, engraved on the medallion lie your family crest.

The sight sent a shockwave throughout your body as you staggered backward, dropping the medallion, and clutching your chest. The startling realization that the campsite belonged to your father's men, that they had stood in this very spot, that they had been this close, absolutely shattered your composure. 

In an instant, all eight boys surrounded you, although you hardly registered them at all as your vision tunneled back to the medallion on the ground.

“Everyone get back to the vehicles. Now.” Chan commanded after examining the pendant for himself. His voice came out as stable as he could manage, but the worry was evident. 

In an instant, before anyone was able to take another step, Hyunjin swiftly reached for your arm, his touch was abrupt and forceful as he yanked you backward. A gust of wind brushed by your head, followed by the sharp crack of a bullet embedding itself in the tree to your side. The close call sent adrenaline coursing through your veins and you looked up in shock, locking eyes with Felix whose expression mirrored your own horror. Without a second to thank Hyunjin for quite literally saving your life, all nine of you snapped your heads in the direction that the bullet had come from. The silence that followed the gunshot was shattered by the deafening roar of an engine. 

A second rover, identical to the one that had brought you here, emerged over the top of the hill on the other side of the valley.

Nothing you had been put through up to this point could have prepared you for what flooded over you at the sight of the vehicle. Not the final execution you had witnessed at the palace, or the feeling of the knife in your hand as it ripped through a stranger. None of it could ever have compared to the terror that gripped you in that moment.

Because you had been able to protect Felix last night, but you wouldn't be able to save any of them from the impending threat hurdling toward you now. 

In less than a second, the world around you descended into chaos.

Sounds blended together into an incomprehensible mess. Unfamiliar voices rang out from up ahead, intertwining with the distant engine of the vehicle and the thundering of gunfire. Chan, you thought, yelled out again for everyone to get back to the vehicles, although his words were quickly swallowed by the madness. 

It made sense why your fathers guards would resort to shooting without hesitation. Nobody outside of your father’s army should have had access to a rover like the one parked just feet from you now. Nobody except for the only group of people they knew did have access to one. Because they had watched them use it to escape the night of the raid.

And because of your partially concealed face, how ironic it was that the guards had absolutely no idea that it was you they had almost put a bullet through.

Paralyzing fear took over your body as you watched them close in, rendering your legs immobile. You turned back around, locking eyes with Felix who began to step toward you with his hand outstretched. Just as his fingers brushed against yours, a bullet whizzed between the two of you, forcing him to stumble back.

Suddenly, you felt a powerful tug wrench you away from Felix as Changbin seized hold of you, forcefully guiding you in the opposite direction toward the rover. His voice bellowed out through the chaos as he shouted at Felix to get back to the bike. The freckled boy nodded curtly, eyes trained on you as you fought against Changbin while he tried to push your head down in an attempt to further conceal your identity. Your body resisted his hold, instincts pulling you toward Felix as you desperately wanted to break free and join him on the bike, but it was no use. Changbin was far stronger than you. With one arm around you, Changbin swiftly tossed Hyunjin his gun and without hesitation Hyunjin mounted the bike behind Felix as the engine roared to life. 

No matter how much you struggled in Changbin’s grasp, his hold on you remained steadfast. Without a choice, you yielded to his guidance as he pulled you up into the rover. Jisung quickly took the empty spot beside you, but your eyes never wavered from Felix. You watched intently as he turned the handlebars of the bike. Pointing them in the direction of the approaching vehicle, he tightened his grip on the throttle and accelerated a short way before skidding to the side and turning back around. He began to trace a daring path back and forth, kicking a thick cloud of dust into the air and drawing attention to the bike as Hyunjin took aim at your father’s men. 

Despite your initial shock at his actions, it soon became clear that he was trying distract the guards. To obstruct their vision and buy enough precious time for the rest of you to escape.

From his place in the driver's seat, Chan caught on to Felix's plan just as soon as you did. His eyes widened with realization before he forced the key into the ignition. You tried to stand despite Changbin and Jisung pulling you back down. Raising your voice, you yelled out to Chan as he started the engine, fighting against the boys.

“What are you doing?! We can’t just leave them!”

Your heart pounded in your chest as time surrounding the rover stood still. Every single one of the boys around you held their breath as Chan hesitated, hands trembling slightly against the steering wheel, conflicting emotions evident on his face as he looked back to Felix and Hyunjin. The weight of the decision bore down on him, the responsibility of every single one of your lives in his hands, and for a moment it almost seemed as if he wasn’t going to be able to make the choice. Until Felix looked back, his deep voice booming throughout the chaos. 

“Go! Get out of here!”

Chan’s voice cracked as he yelled out in response, “You know where we are! Meet us-“

“-I know! GO!” Felix shouted back, voice laced with urgency. “We’re right behind you!” and then he ducked to avoid an incoming bullet as Hyunjin swiftly fired back in the direction that it had come from. Minho stood and joined him in sending a few bullets toward your fathers men before he bent back down, hands reaching for the steering wheel as he jerked it to the side, yelling out to Chan that you needed to go now. 

When the vehicle began to move, your heart was on the brink of exploding within your chest, as the weight of the world on your shoulders threatened to engulf you completely.

“Felix!” You called out, strained voice breaking in desperation as the fear of losing him tore at your soul once again. His head whipped around at the sound of your voice. With a final look in your direction, his eyes conveyed unspoken reassurance, a silent plea to trust him, and a promise that you couldn’t fully understand in that moment. 

A promise that he would find his way back to you. 

And then he tore his eyes from yours as Hyunjin shouted at him to “move!”, directing him to use the bike to create another diversion for your escape.

With only a moment to spare, Chan spinned around in his seat and placed a firm hand on your shoulder.

"Look at me, y/n look at me,” you turned to face him, eyes glossy with tears, “Felix knows what he's doing, he's fast with the bike and Hyunjin is a near perfect shot,” his panicked words were meant come across as reassuring but the expression on his face sure as hell wasn't. 

Either way, Chan was a leader, and he did what leaders were supposed to do. He made the impossible, life-altering, split-second decisions. And so with a stern glance to Changbin who tightened his grip on you, he turned back around and stepped forcefully on the gas pedal.

And it's probably a good thing you weren't in his position, because you never would have been able to leave the freckled boy with the stars in his eyes behind. Not when it meant leaving a part of yourself, behind too.

You couldn’t breathe.

You really couldn’t breathe. 

As the rover surged ahead, racing into the setting sun, your focus remained fixed on the valley as it disappeared behind you. Panic coursed through your veins, constricting your chest and clouding your senses. After you had gotten far enough away, Changbin released you and you leaned forward immediately, raising your voice to reach Chan's ears.

“How could you leave them behind!? We have to go back-we have to-“ As the words tumbled out from your lips in a frantic rush, you looked around to the rest of the boys behind you. They remained still, even Jisung avoided your eyes now.

 “What are you doing?! We have to-” you turned back to Chan but before you could form any kind of a coherent sentence, he jerked the vehicle harshly to the side, causing you to grab onto the frame above until it came to a skidding halt. As the dust settled around you, Chan whirled around to face you. His resolute expression did little to conceal how shaken he was by having to leave the boys behind. 

“Do you think that was easy for me?! Do you think that was easy for any of us?!”

His words carried through the air, and a pang of guilt struck you when you saw the burden of the responsibility that he carried reflected in his eyes.

“If one of them had recognized you…“ 

Your stomach twisted as the guilt intensified, because deep down you knew he never would have left Felix and Hyunjin behind if it weren’t for you. But he didn’t have a choice. If any one of your father’s men had recognized you it would have meant disaster in the form of certain death for every single one of them. 

The weight of the boys’ emotions pressed down on you. Not a single sound escaped their lips as they watched your interaction with Chan. Not even Minho took the opportunity to further solidify the fact that this was all your fault.

“Where we’re going, we’ll be safe for the night. It’s close, and Felix has been there before so he knows where to go,” Chan cleared his throat before adding “they’re right behind us.”

And then he glanced to the skyline over your shoulder but you didn’t need to do the same to know what you’d find there.

They weren’t right behind you. 

“Where...." your voice trembled as it took everything in you to fight back tears.

“Someone Felix and I have known for a very long time. An…acquaintance,” his own voice faltered on the word “acquaintance” before continuing. “I was trying to avoid it, but we don’t have a choice. We can’t stay out in the open tonight.”

Trying to avoid it. 

Likely meaning that it was one of the areas he’d crossed out earlier when you were planning the route. A place he had originally hoped to steer clear of, but the circumstances had evidently forced his hand.

“We will find a way back to them, I promise.” This time, Chan wasn’t just speaking to you. He was also addressing the boys who were equally as shaken, but his words weren’t enough to ease the doubt in your mind.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Chan. 

You sat back without another word, turning your focus up ahead where something caught your attention.

Two figures.

Shadowed by the setting sun, riding atop two powerful animals that as far as you knew, had been extinct for hundreds of years. Animals you couldn’t remember the name of because you never really paid much attention to your private tutoring lessons, not that it mattered. The sight of them was enough to render you speechless. 

Chan spun back around and you studied his face in the mirror as recognition fell across it.

“It’s her….” he mumbled under his breath, looking to Minho seated beside him. 

Her. 

As the figures drew nearer, you realized that the one leading the way was a woman. 

Chan addressed the group quickly, conveying that he and he alone would handle the conversation. He locked eyes with you, pausing for a moment before reaching out to pull the hood back over your head. When Jisung and Changbin settled in closer to you, you looked up to Jisung, finding brief solace in his eyes before putting your head down. 

Unable to resist the curiosity when the strangers reached the side of the vehicle, you shifted to catch a glimpse of the woman from underneath your hood. She possessed an air of maturity, with long dark hair that cascaded down her shoulders and sides, streaked heavily with grey. One half of her face exhibited what appeared to be burn scars, extending all the way down her arm. Her presence exuded a quiet strength that demanded respect, and her beauty was evident even despite the scars. The male to her side was younger than you had initially thought. Several decades younger than her, he seemed to be around the same age as you and the boys. Reddish hair fell down to frame the enticing features of his face, and you were beginning to wonder if it was this common for everyone outside of District 9 to possess such ethereal beauty. He sported similar attire as the woman. Fairly well put together, their clothing was obviously worn but not nearly as much as you’d expect for someone who resided in District 6. 

As they brought the animals to a stop, the woman appeared to recognize Chan immediately. Alone, he stepped down to greet her as she remained atop the animal, tightly gripping its long mane. 

“Chris," her voice carried a velvety, alluring tone, "its been quite a while, hasn’t it?” 

A silent exchange passed between the two, characterized by familiarity and a touch of tension. The strange name she used to address him with left you even more curious about the actual depth of their relationship.  

The woman turned to the rover, scanning the faces inside. When her eyes fell to you, they widened ever so slightly. An eyebrow arched in intrigue as her lips parted, and you quickly leaned into Jisung once again.

“It has, Hira.” Chan acknowledged her before turning his attention to the male at her side, addressing him as “Yeonjun.” The two shared a quick greeting before Chan, or Chris, began to explain the nature of the group's situation, carefully selecting which details to share and what to withhold. He told the woman, Hira, that you were in desperate need of a place to stay for the night. When she asked where the group was headed, he replied with “District seven, in search of a permanent place to settle”. When she asked how you had obtained the vehicle, he offered an explanation that was even more vague. Stating that the group had just “come across it, abandoned, fully stocked with supplies.”

How ridiculous.

Even you would have been able to come up with something better than that..and you were worried there was no way in hell she could be gullible enough to believe the lies that spilled from his mouth.

Chan concluded his explanation by revealing the separation from Felix and Hyunjin, at which point you couldn’t help but steal another glance at Hira. She appeared to understand the gravity of your situation without him ever needing to mention your fathers guards or why the group had been forced to split up in the first place. 

As she processed his words, her eyes gravitated to you once again. A shiver descended your spine as they bore into you, as if she was trying to catch a glimpse of your soul. Unsure of exactly how much she knew or what she could unravel with a single glance, it filled you with unease. When she looked back to Chan, a haunting smile fell across her scarred face. 

“You know that you and your people are always more than welcome to stay with me and mine, Chris. Take as long as you need. I trust that you remember the…conditions to my hospitality. That-"

"-there is always a cost." The two spoke in unison, the woman and Chan.

"Ah yes," she smiled again, pleased with his response. "The weapons you provided Yeonjun with last time were in pristine condition, they have already sold for a generous sum." A flash of greed danced across her eyes as they fell to the gun in Minho's hands. "It seems as though you've come prepared this time. How long will you be staying?"

“Just the night,” he paused before adding, "we will be able to compensate you fairly.” And then he reached out and motioned for Minho to toss him the gun. After Minho obliged, Chan handed it over to the woman. She examined it closely, eyes gleaming with satisfaction as she turned the weapon over in her hands. "And i trust you have more where this came from?" She looked to him and he nodded.

"Three more. Four in total," she proposed.

"Two more. Three in total," Chan responded, a hint of reservation in his tone.

She contemplated his offer, narrowing her stare when they locked eyes.

"Deal, but only because of the impeccable condition, such remarkable craftsmanship..." She ran her hands across the cool metal once more before adding "You can follow me back to Clé, it’s not far from here as I'm sure you know.”

She then turned to address the male beside her. “Yeonjun will ride ahead to collect your friends." 

The mention of Felix reignited the ache within your chest. The sudden appearance of the mysterious strangers had provided a fleeting distraction, but with each passing moment in their presence your longing for him began to resurface at full force.

The woman’s lingering eyes stole one last glance at you before tugging on the animal’s mane. The sound of hooves filled the air when she turned and began to lead the way. Yeonjun followed her command, guiding his own animal behind you in the opposite direction, and you watched until he disappeared into the shadows cast by the setting sun. 

As the rover began to move, Minho leaned in to Chan and the two engaged in hushed conversation. You listened intently, trying to pick out any words you could but it was no use. Sinking back into the seat between Changbin and Jisung, you closed your eyes and pictured the freckled boy in your mind, desperately clinging on to whatever fading shred of hope you had left that you would ever see him again.  

The sunset painted the cloudy sky with fiery tones.

And Hira was right, it didn’t take long, fifteen minutes maybe, before you spotted the silhouette of a small structure in the distance. It stood alone against the backdrop of scorching orange and red hues, appearing as though it had become one with the unforgiving terrain over time. A forgotten outcast, sheltered among dying trees with branches like skeletal fingers reaching up to touch the sky. 

Following her lead, Chan brought the vehicle around to the backside of the house where Hira tied the animal to a nearby post. When you hopped down, the loose dirt beneath your feet emitted a satisfying crunch. Looking up, a jolt of surprise coursed through you as you were met with Hira's dark eyes. Taken aback by her close proximity and fascinated stare, you stumbled into Jeongin, who had just landed on the ground behind you. You reached behind, grabbing onto him for stability as she lifted an arm and carefully removed your hood, taking a piece of your hair into her hand.

She studied it between her fingers as if she were utterly perplexed before muttering underneath her breath "beautiful." 

Chan cleared his throat, and you looked up to see all eyes on you. As if nothing had happened at all, the woman released your hair, seamlessly joining Chan in leading the group to the front of the building. It might have been the first time you had officially interacted with Jeongin, but you only tightened your hold on his sleeve as you moved. Thankfully he didn't seem to mind as he stuck by your side while the rest of the boys formed a protective barrier around the two of you. During the brief introductions that took place as you approached the building, you avoided the woman's gaze when you told her that your name was Jisoo.

The two-story structure before you stood as a testament to the relentless passage of time. Its frame, originally crafted from wood, bore the marks of age through faded green paint, chipping away like scars left behind by countless years. Open windows had been sealed off from the inside by sturdy wooden boards, creating an air of secrecy. The door, no longer a solid barrier, was covered by a long tattered curtain that matched the colors of the setting sun behind you. It swayed gently in the breeze.

In front of you, Hira brushed back the curtain to reveal a candlelit interior. The ceiling was low, creating a sense of confinement. In a way, it reminded you of the tavern in District 7, although the atmosphere inside was stagnant and held an air of something far less innocent. 

It became evident shortly after stepping inside that this was a gathering spot for people who had found themselves on the fringes of society, seeking something more than just refuge. Because as Hira walked you through the lower level, hushed whispers and soft murmurs floated through the air, accompanied by occasional gasps of pleasure. You caught glimpses of intimate encounters through cracked doors, meeting the eyes of individuals in various states of undress whose beauty was contrasted by the sadness in their eyes. 

After passing through a small area that appeared to serve as a kitchen for Hira and her guests, with a wooden table and a few mismatched chairs, you found yourselves back at the main room. Just inside the entrance.

Under the premise of supposed safety, your longing for Felix turned insufferable. Because you didn't really care if any of you were safe until you knew that he was too.

As if Chan had been plagued by the same thought, his voice split the silence.

"Its dark now..it might be safe enough for me to…maybe I should go out and look for the others..." His words were directed to Hira, although you couldn't be sure whether he was asking for permission or informing her of his intention. Either way, his growing concern was evident. 

With firm resolve, the woman responded with a simple "No, that won't be necessary." And as if he had been expecting her response, Changbin stepped forward immediately, ready to argue, but he paused when she raised a hand and addressed Chan once more.

"Something tells me you know that it is wiser for you to remain here. Yeonjun has never failed me in a request, and I trust that he will return with your friends." Changbin stepped back and Chan fell silent. His usual authority seemed to vanish in her presence, leaving you even more curious about the dynamics between the two. About the experiences they'd shared while you were eating seasoned meals and taking hot baths to cleanse skin that was already clean.

Time had never moved so painfully, agonizingly, slow. Your profound understanding of the very real danger Felix and Hyunjin were in ate away at you with every passing second. Unable to sit still even after the others had settled down on the floor or the worn out furniture, you paced the room until Jisung silently called you over, patting the ground beside him against one of the walls. Your leg continued to shake uncontrollably even after you sat down, and it wasn’t until Seungmin came over to join you on your other side that you were able to stop. For the same reason you had chosen to sit by him the first night around the fire, something about Seungmin's presence made you worry just a little less. 

As everyone anxiously awaited the return of the boys, even Hira had her eyes trained on the door whenever she wasn’t looking your way. Her not-so-subtle fascination with you only added to your overall unease, mostly because you just couldn't shake the feeling that her interest in the groups wellbeing went far beyond an innocent desire to help. Even if her and “Chris” happened to be old friends. Or acquaintances, or whatever the hell he’d called her. But you didn't really care about trying to decipher any of that right now. Not when all you could think about was the freckled boy who you'd let slip through your fingertips earlier. 

Who you had failed to protect.

After a seemingly endless stretch of time, the curtain covering the door shifted ever so slightly and the room stood in unison, yourself included.

It was pulled back by Yeonjun now standing at the entrance. You took a step forward, gaze darting past him immediately. Desperately searching for any glimpse of dark hair behind him, your eyes were met with gold instead.

Hyunjin.

You released a steady exhale. Aside from a few smudges of dirt on his otherwise flawless features, he appeared to be relatively unscathed. Your nervousness eased at the sight of his familiar face, but it wasn’t until Felix stepped through the threshold behind him that you felt like you could breathe again.

For the first time since you had been forced to leave him behind, you could breathe.

You leaned forward as your eyes scanned every inch of his figure. He appeared slightly more disheveled than Hyunjin, with tousled hair and a small cut to his cheek, but he was alive, breathing, unharmed. The sight of him standing before made you ache to wrap him in your arms, but you remained rooted where you stood. As if your feet were shackled to the ground by invisible chains that warned of the danger that came with exposing the extent of your feelings to everyone in the room. So you masked your relief with a faint smile that lasted only a fraction of a second. 

But you were certain Felix had seen it.

A low sigh escaped his lips, barely audible despite the silence in the room. Unbeknownst to you, it was a breath he had been holding since the very moment you had been torn apart. Nobody else seemed to notice the way you looked only to each other, or maybe they did, but you didn't really care.

Chan approached the boys first. He put an arm around both of their shoulders and whispered something to them before turning around to thank Yeonjun for their safe return. Hira nodded in acknowledgement when Chan introduced her to Hyunjin, but there didn't appear to be a need for introductions between her and Felix. The familiarity between Felix and Yeonjun was also apparent, although whatever it was between them came off as more of an uncomfortable, awkward tension than anything else.

Before the rest of the boys had a chance to approach Felix and Hyunjin, Hira commanded the room's attention. She guided the group back into the kitchen, over to a receded staircase in the corner that you hadn't noticed the first time. Yeonjun swiftly found his way to her side and you eyed them cautiously as they engaged in hushed conversation at the front of the group.

Wooden steps creaked underneath your feet as you climbed the stairs, worn with time and countless journeys up and down. At the top was a long hallway lined by closed doors, peeling wallpaper, and flickering candles. You made note of what appeared to be a supply closet just off the landing. The door was slightly ajar and you observed a small pile of blankets and crates stacked inside. Nearly empty, aside from a very meager handful of supplies.

Hira pointed out two rooms at the end of the corridor where you and the boys were to sleep for the night. Chan and Minho shared a glance, acknowledging that they didn't have much choice but to accept.

And Felix never left your side. 

Or maybe you never left his. Either way, whether by conscious choice or something less deliberate, you mirrored each others steps the entire way up the stairs and back down again. The subtle brush of his arm against yours spoke volumes, but you were desperate for more. To to hear him tell you that he was okay. To feel the warmth of his skin against yours.

Bodies weary, the group followed Hira back down the steps into the kitchen where the small table now held an assortment of miscellaneous scraps of food. You were each offered a bowl, and you gladly accepted. Without enough chairs for everyone around the table, Jisung, Changbin, and Seungmin made themselves comfortable on the floor with their backs leaned against the wall, bowls in hand. Just as you were preparing to join them, with Felix right on your heels, Hira's voice cut through the air, interrupting your action. 

"No, dear, sit here by my side. I insist." You glanced up to where she sat at the head of the table. Her words were accompanied by a very poor attempt at a welcoming smile that only caused you to recoil backward into Felix.

You looked to Chan for direction and when he nodded you hesitantly obliged, walking over to take the seat to her right, directly across from Chan who sat at her other side.

Without waiting for his own invitation, Felix slid down into the empty seat beside you. Jeongin ended up across from Felix, with Yeonjun positioning himself the other end of the table across from Hira. Minho opted to lean against the doorway to the kitchen, while Hyunjin claimed the spot on the floor that you had originally planned on taking next to Seungmin. 

As dinner progressed, Hira spoke solely to Chan. She brought up stories of their past encounters and the atmosphere tensed further whenever he let out an occasional bout of strained laughter. The rest of the group remained quiet as they feigned interest in the scraps of food that had been placed in front of them, and you did the same. Gritting your teeth as you stared at the bowl because the faster you got through this night, the faster you would be able to get the hell out of here. 

The faster you would be able to find a moment alone with Felix. Which was the only thing that mattered to you now. 

Throughout the meal, Hira's eyes continuously fell to you, just as they had from the moment she'd first caught sight of you earlier. And despite the fact that she was supposedly listening to Chan, she didn't seem to have any interest in him or their conversation whatsoever. 

It became increasingly evident that you weren’t the only one aware of her strange behavior. Beside you, Felix’s grip on the roll of bread in his hand tightened with every second that her eyes remained fixed on you. As if a protective instinct was taking hold of him in response to her unwavering interest.

Just as Chan began to cautiously navigate his way through a story about a time several years ago when he'd crossed paths with Hira in District 4, she curtly interrupted him, turning to face you directly. 

"You know dear, there is room for you here," she purred, reaching out to place a palm over your clenched fist where it rest on the table. 

Her cold touch sent an icy shockwave up your arm.

Chan stopped talking mid sentence, Jisung nearly choked on his food behind you, and your entire body froze. Your eyes widened as you lifted your gaze from the bowl in front of you, looking to Chan for help. But his expression only mirrored your own shock as his mouth fell slightly agape while you stared at each other in disbelief. 

Before either you or Chan could find the words, Felix's voice sliced through the tension in the air like a blade. Resonating dangerously low, it nearly shook the room beside you. 

"She. Stays. With. Us." he growled through clenched teeth, putting sharp emphasis on each individual word. The roll of bread in his hand crumpled beyond repair as he used every muscle in his body to keep his restraint. 

Hana's gaze flickered from you to Felix, engaging in a silent standoff, until her eyes began to shift back and forth between the two of you. A sly grin fell across her face as she pieced together the fact that there was something more between you and Felix. Something that went far beyond what you had with the rest of the boys. Far beyond camaraderie or the mutual need to depend on each other for survival. She looked back to you with envy in her eyes, a lingering possessiveness, and after a few more moments of uncomfortable silence she did something not a single one of you could have expected.

She began to laugh. 

A chilling sound that started out quiet before building loud enough to echo throughout the entire room. Felix's stare spoke volumes as his eyes remained trained on the woman at your side, piercing and unyielding, making it more than clear that he didn't find anything funny about the situation at all. Your heart pounded in your ears, your breath caught in your throat, and every single hair on the back of your neck stood on end before her laughter ended just as abruptly as it had begun. Her facial expression shifting once again to that of an eery stoicism.

“You all must be exhausted after such a long day. Rest well tonight and replenish your strength,” she addressed the group as a whole before turning back to Felix. Her final words were directed solely at him. “A tired mind is dangerous companion.” 

Without another word she rose gracefully from her seat, the scraping of her chair against the floor only adding to the unsettling feeling in the air. She swiftly exited the room with Yeonjun following closely behind. 

Every single one of the boys remained motionless. With their eyes glued to Chan, they waited for him to offer any form of direction but he appeared to be just as taken aback as the rest of you by her actions. By her offer to you.

When he finally regained the ability to speak, it was barely above a whisper. “She's right...lets just take the opportunity to rest for a few hours. We'll be safe here for the night.”

Why does he keep saying that. 

We aren't safe anywhere.

Chan stood, and just as Yeonjun had hurried after Hana, the boys mirrored his actions. They got up and approached the staircase at the other end of the kitchen. At your side, Felix was the only one who had yet to move a muscle.

Chan’s knowing eyes said it all as he looked back at the two of you one last time before leaving you to yourselves, ascending the staircase behind the rest of the group. Probably a mistake, on his part, to leave you alone. Not that he could have known the depth of your emotions or the fleeting nature of your self control. 

Felix sat rigid as he fixated on the wall in front of him.

Something brought you back to this morning, when you’d refused to join him on the bike in an attempt to push down your growing feelings. Stupid, stupid feelings that threatened to ruin everything whenever you found yourself alone with him.

You remembered the promise you had made to him on the rooftop. 

Don't let me love you. 

Slowly, you got up from your chair. 

Felix did the same.

Just walk away, y/n. Turn around. Go upstairs. Go to sleep. 

Walk. Away.

Standing beside you now, facing you, inches from you, he looked you up and down. He reached for your wrist and ran his thumb over a small cut on your forearm that you hadn't even realized was there.

Without a word, he set your arm back down at your side and took a step past you in the direction of the staircase.

Don’t look back. Just let him go. 

Let. Him. Go. 

Fuck-

“-Wait” You muttered, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him with you across the kitchen to the foot of the staircase, partially hidden in between the recessed walls. His eyes darted upward as the boys retreated into their designated rooms. And you stayed like that, pressed up against him in the small space until the doors closed behind them. 

As soon as they clicked shut, you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind. 

“Are you fucking insane?! What the hell were you thinking earlier? Staying behind like that.” Struggling to keep your voice down, the words came out a bit more accusatory than you had originally intended. But now that he was in front of you, now that you knew he was safe, you couldn’t help but express a little frustration.

“I was just...doing what needed to be done.” He answered, voice husky and low, eyes dark and inviting. Your brow furrowed as you searched for the right response. Literally anything to convey how much his continued disregard for his own life drove you absolutely mad. But no words seemed adequate enough.

Maybe you would have come up with something eventually, if the growing closeness between you wasn't making it impossible to concentrate on anything other than how badly you wanted him to rail you senseless.

For fucks sake. Get it together.

After a moment, a subtle curl formed at the corner of his upper lip.

"What, were you worried about me princess?" He mused, poking his tongue into his cheek.

"I'm serious!" You shot back in a rather poor attempt to conceal the fact that his accusation and such a simple, simple action could have you so impossibly weak at the knees. 

"You heard Chan. We were supposed to stay together. All of us, which includes you. Because we need you."

Because I need you, idiot.

The smugness fell from his face as his expression began to soften.

“And yeah, maybe I am tired of watching you try to get yourself killed but that doesn't mea-" before you could finish reprimanding him, Felix leaned down and captured your lips between his.

You pulled back, eyes wide. 

"What are you-" but your words were cut off again when you went to take a step back and nearly tripped on the staircase behind you, instinctively reaching for his arms to steady yourself. 

Amusement spread across his face, as if he was proud of himself for making you fall apart like his. His reaction made your cheeks flush hot with embarrassment but before you could utter another word he moved in again. Your hands betrayed you as they pulled him closer, but instead of kissing you again like you’d expected Felix ducked his head to your neck where he began to pepper the sensitive skin with a number of light kisses. You glanced upstairs where the boys had retreated for the night, then back down across the kitchen where Hana and Yeonjun had disappeared only moments before.

“What if someone-” You pulled back for a second time. 

"Let them,” he mumbled against your skin. "Its not like they don't already suspect it,” he added while running his tongue along the fading mark on your neck that you’d forgotten was there. 

“And you’re alright with that?” You nearly moaned out the final word when he began to suck lightly at the tender spot on your neck, barely having time to finish your sentence before he forcefully reconnected your lips.

Felix was more than alright with that.

But of course, its not like he had meant for this to happen. He really did have every intention of following the others upstairs. He really did. Its just that he’d narrowly missed about 17 bullets today, half of them aimed at his head, which had him fairly convinced that he might actually never get to see you again. So the sight of you in his arms now, lust and concern etched beautifully across your face as you looked to him as if he was your entire world, had him overcome with the need to be inside of you.

And you really hadn't meant to end up like this either, shamelessly pulling him in by the collar as he cradled your face in his hands. Succumbing to the magnetic pull that urged you to follow him as he took a step backward up the stairs. There were so many things you wanted to say to him about his past, to ask him why he had taken the blame for killing the intruder, and you still weren't done scolding him for his decision to stay behind earlier. But none of it mattered in that moment. Because he was safe, he’d managed to find his way back to you, and you wanted nothing more than to show him just how thankful you were for that.

"m' glad you're okay" the words slipped from your lips on accident between kisses as you followed him up the stairs. You swallowed quickly before adding “I-I mean because, you know....they were worried about you..the others.”

“Oh really?” he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, and you hummed in agreement before granting him access. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck from where you now stood on the step above him. When he looked up into your eyes, a conflicted expression washed over his features before he lifted his head to kiss you again. 

"Lix," you mumbled against his lips when you took the last step at the top of the staircase. 

"Yeah, princess?" He breathed out, meeting you on the landing where his hands slid down to rest at the back of your thighs, just below your ass, pulling you closer. You spoke against his lips when he moved in to reconnect them to yours.

“This doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you." 

"Mhmm" he tightened his grip on your thighs.

"It doesn't mean I hate you any less," you continued, nipping at his bottom lip and pulling it back in your teeth. "Because I do, you know?”

And his eyes were dark when you opened yours to look back at him, pupils blown wide. 

"Whatever you say, sweetheart." 

That was new.

And then, with a firm squeeze at your thighs, Felix effortlessly lifted you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as your arms circled his neck. His hands cupped your ass and you kissed him like that for some time. Shamelessly giving in to the uncontrollable desire that had brought you together in the first place, in a dim candlelit hallway, surrounded on either side by rooms full of sleeping travelers and the rest of the boys. And none of it mattered. You would have kissed him until your lips bled, running your hands through his hair, your tongues battling for dominance. 

But Felix made it very clear that he wanted more.

He moved until your back hit the wall behind you and you gripped him tighter to keep yourself upright. When he pressed his hips further into you another weak moan fell from your lips. He shifted and you looked down, realizing that that the wall to your back was actually a door. 

The supply closet. 

Felix maneuvered your bodies so that he could push the door open with his back. 

As he carried you into the cramped space, you placed a very gentle kiss to the scratch on his cheek. Inside, shut off from the rest of the world, you were free to lose yourselves in each other completely. Candlelight from the hallway spilled in through the wide gap beneath the door, enough to cast a faint glow inside the room. And the door barely had time to shut before both of you were halfway undressed.

Felix picked up a blanket from the ground and threw it across the stack of crates that took up the majority of the small space. He set you down gently on top of them, bending over to keep your lips connected while he shoved his pants down, and you did the same. Frantically pushing your own pants and underwear down before tossing your shirt to the side, and it didn’t even have time to hit the ground before he was pressed up against you again, reaching around to unclasp your bra. Just as you had struggled with the buckle on his belt, he fumbled with it briefly and you smiled against his lips. But he was determined and it took only a moment before he stripped it from your body and the stuffy air hit your skin. When you shifted on the crates, your exposed breasts bounced slightly, immediately drawing his attention. He licked his lips as he devoured them with hungry eyes.

“Like what you see?” You mocked, reaching down to bring his hands up to your chest. He squeezed the soft flesh and you gasped when his fingertips pinched lightly at your nipples.

And it was in that moment that Felix decided he would never be able to get enough of you, so willing to expose yourself to him like this. So desperate for his touch on your bare skin, for his cock buried inside of you. You didn’t even need to say it out loud because your eyes were begging.

One of his hands trailed down between your legs and he slid a finger through the wetness of your slit. 

“Fuck, princess...so wet already,” he murmured against your jaw, and you let out a stifled moan into his neck when he pulled you closer and pressed his thumb to your puffy clit. He rubbed slow circles before inserting a finger inside of you, followed shortly after by a second. The skillful movement of his fingers made you melt into his touch as you rolled your hips to meet his hand. As your head went dizzy and your vision blurred.

Between his fingers pumping in and out of you at just the right speed, his thumb adding pressure to your clit, the squeezing of your breast in his other hand, and the sloppy wet kisses he continued to press to your neck and jaw, your body was already threatening to spill over the edge. To prolong the pleasure, not ready to let go just yet, you shifted. He licked your juices from his fingers when you brought his hand up to his mouth. "You taste so sweet princess," he muttered, accent heavy in his current state as you reached down to release his cock from his underwear. It sprang free and you pushed him back gently, dropping from the crates, your knees hitting the ground. He looked down at you as your hand wrapped around his pulsing cock. You swirled a bit of precum around the tip before licking a stripe up his shaft and taking him into your mouth. 

As you hollowed your cheeks around him and began to bob your head, running your tongue along a thick vein on the underside of his cock, Felix leaned back against the door. His head turned to the ceiling as his eyes lazily fell shut, and he wondered how much you'd had to practice to get it this right. But he didn't want to think about that now. He only wanted to think about you on your knees for him. A whimper escaped his lips when you swirled your tongue around his leaking head, across his slit. The unexpected sound from him and the salty taste on your tongue had you rubbing your thighs forcefully together. 

Felix let his mind go empty with nothing but pleasure as he fucked your face. He glanced down with hooded eyes to meet your own, and the sight of your pretty angelic mouth stuffed with his cock as you made eye contact with him nearly caused him to blow his load right then and there. But Felix didn’t want to waste a second of you like this. Because he'd almost died today. He'd almost died nearly every day for a very long time, and he didn't know if he would ever get the chance after tonight to have you like this again. And so, when you suddenly released his cock with a pop, he leaned down and pulled you back up by the arms. 

His touch was gentle. 

His tone wasn’t.

“I’m going to fuck you now, and you’re not going to make a sound. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” He spoke down to you, as if he already knew that you wouldn’t be able to oblige.

“Y-yes” you somehow managed to get out. And he wasted no time in lifting you back onto the crates, his strength evident as his muscles flexed. 

You steadied yourself before spreading your legs for him as wide as the cramped space would allow. You ran your eyes up and down his naked form, his defined abs, his toned chest, and his right hand as he brought it down to pump his cock a few times before aligning it with your dripping core.

“Please…” you panted under your breath as he smeared your arousal with his tip. And your desperate plea was all he needed to give in, sinking into your aching entrance and bottoming out inside of you with a carnal mroan. You gasped, reaching forward to pull him closer. He wrapped an arm around your back, slamming the other against the wall behind you. His head fell to your neck and your legs wrapped around him as he began to rhythmically move his hips. 

Filthy sounds filled the space as he rutted into you, and in that moment it was easy to let yourself go completely. To let him take you however he pleased, in whatever way he pleased. Because you were safe with Felix, here, like this, when it was just the two of you. He made you feel like just a person. Without a past to run from, without a burden to shoulder. Just two careless young lovers who in another life might have stumbled across this very place seeking refuge. Who might have called it home for a while before leaving again together.

And this time was different from the first time on the rooftop as his hips slapped fervently against yours, hot skin against skin. Because of your earlier separation, tonight was more desperate, more needy, more primal. 

“Feels so good, Lix” you whined when he brought his hands down to tightly grip your waist, allowing him to fuck up into your swollen heat even harder. When your head fell back, he took it as an invitation to bring a hand up around your exposed throat, shoving his fingers into your mouth when you let out a strangled moan.  

"F-Fuck, princess-" he hissed, “you have to be quiet, be a good girl for me, yeah?” He squeezed harder at your throat when you cried out again but was instantly made into a hypocrite when you clenched around him and he let out a groan deep enough to vibrate the walls. 

His thrusts grew sloppy which told you he was just as close as you had been since the moment he'd laid a hand on you, and yet he still managed to hit the right angle every single time. Between his thick cock brutally pounding up into your drooling hole, low grunts against your ear, the sound of the crates thudding against the wall behind you and the risk of being caught at any moment, it all had you reaching your own climax faster than you could control. 

"So pretty all fucked out like this,” he growled, ”the world in the palm of your hand and here you are reduced to nothing by my cock. I should fuck you full, make the world mine too."

"Fuck, F-Felix, don't stop I'm close-"

“I know, baby," he groaned, "me too.” And you could feel the truth in his words because of how fucking hard he was, but before he could pull out you wrapped your legs around him tighter.

"Need your cum, please, fill me up. Please Lix make me yours."

"Shit-"

Your plea sent him over the edge. His cock throbbed where it was buried deeply inside of you as he pumped milky white ropes of cum into your cunt. A deep groan that was far louder than any of the moans he had scolded you for fell from his lips, and as your own orgasm took over you buried your face in the sweaty skin at his neck. Holding onto him to ground yourself when your vision went white as you sobbed out his name repeatedly.

Heavy breathing and light whimpers from both of you were the only sounds that filled the air after the harsh string of low curses that fell from his lips.

After a moment, when you began to come down from your high and Felix stopped twitching inside of you, you unwrapped your shaking legs from his waist and dropped down from the crates. He helped to steady you on your feet, and the gravity of what you had just done set in as you felt his hot cum begin to trickle down the inside of your thigh. 

Fuck 

Fuck fuck fuck-

Felix reclaimed your attention when he leaned in to place a breathless kiss to your lips. You jumped when the cool metal of the rings on his fingers made contact with the sensitive skin at the inside of your thighs when he put a finger between them to swipe some of his cum away. He brought it up, smearing his release against your bottom lip before you took it into your mouth and licked it clean.

"That can never happen again,” he murmured, his eyes intently focused on where his finger had disappeared into your mouth.

He might have been referring to the sex, but you were fairly certain it had more to do with the fact that by spilling every last drop of his cum inside of you he had just put both of your lives in substantially more danger. Because if Felix got you pregnant, the repercussions would be catastrophic.

"This, us is…it can’t..” He trailed off. 

“I know.” You glanced up to take in his disheveled appearance. His long hair a mess, sweat on his forehead, lips puffy and swollen.  

“Never again,” you whispered, and it was at that moment that Felix realized he was never going to be able to get over you. That he would belong to you until he took his last dying breath. 

And it wasn’t until you met his eyes that he understood just how selfish that made him. 

How badly he had screwed up. 

Because Felix had made the fatal mistake of allowing you to develop the same feelings for him, and he wanted to protect you from the sadness in your eyes when you looked up to him with silent understanding that you would never be able to be together. Not in the way you wanted to be, not without consequences. Felix wanted to shield you from everything in this world that could hurt you, including himself. Especially himself. He wanted to protect you from his own selfish desires more than anything, but the situation between the two of you had begun to spiral far beyond his control.

And the damage was already done. 

Felix led you by the hand to the end of the hallway where he lightly pressed on the door to one of the rooms that Hira had pointed out to you earlier. When you stepped inside, the floorboards creaked loudly underneath your feet. You could make out shapes through the darkness but it was difficult to tell which of the boys were in the room you had just entered. 

You followed Felix, taking extra care to step over the sleeping form at your feet, as he led you to an unoccupied space in the corner. He shook off his leather jacket and pulled you down with him. Folding the jacket, he set it on the ground next to you and you immediately undid his actions, unfolding it enough so that there was room for his own head to be cushioned by the worn out fabric as well. You lie down facing each other, trailing your eyes up and down the features of his face, bringing a hand up to his hair, tracing along the sharp line of his jaw, while he looked at you with painful longing that you would never have been able to put into words. Only a feeling, in a stolen moment that you had so selfishly claimed for yourselves. But you understood everything that it meant.

"y/n?" His voice cascaded through the silence and the use of your name, his use of your name, tugged painfully at your chest.

“Yeah, Lix?” You responded, tracing your fingers along a patch of freckles underneath one of his eyes.

“I’m glad you’re okay too.” He spoke so faintly underneath his breath that you weren’t even sure you had heard him right until you met his gaze. The look he gave you absolutely shattered your heart, and you forced yourself to hold back the words that you wanted so desperately to say to him in response. You watched in silence as his heavy eyes closed while you combed through his hair, kissing him gently once more when his breathing steadied and you were certain that he had fallen asleep.

Don't let me love you.

It was quite a simple request, really. Or at least it should have been. You should have been able to do it, and yet you could literally feel your promise rip to pieces with every kiss, every touch, every breath you took in every moment you spent next to him like this. Moments that you burned into your memory because you were afraid they would be your last. 

I'm sorry, princess.

"I'm sorry too, Lix." You whispered.

Sorry you couldn't keep your promise. Sorry you hadn't tried harder. 

Sorry there was nothing you could do to stop the time from slipping away. Sorry you couldn't make it stop. 

You fell asleep shortly after he reached for you, subconsciously pulling you into his chest. You breathed in his scent and it eased every aching muscle in your body. In that moment you were his, and he was yours, and that was enough. Even if you would never be able to belong to each other for more than a single night at a time. Just for tonight, it was enough. Because eventually, one way or another, you knew that your past would catch up to you. You’d begun this journey knowing from the start that the future had never really been yours to claim. Knowing that that your time with Felix was just as limited as your freedom. Because as someone had told you once, the problem with time is that it is a merciless force. No matter who you are, no matter where you come from, one way or another it always runs out. 

Part 6

thank you so much for reading<33 if you would like to be added to the taglist please don't hesitate to let me know :)

taglist: @vixensss @yangracha @toplinelix @lixiesw1fe @slytherinatheart @hash2013

#lee felix x reader #felix x reader #lee felix au #stray kids au #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids angst #skz angst #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfic #skz fan fiction #lee felix #felix smut #lee felix smut #stray kids smut #skz smut

[dollystuartwrites]

Stray Gods - Chapter 21

Pairing: Gods!OT8 x !F!Reader

Genre: romance, friends to lovers, polyamory, mystery, supernatural, angst, fluff, smut

Wordcount: 2905

Chapters:  [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] -  [12] - [13] - [14] - [15] - [16] - [17] - [18] - [19] - [20] - [21] - [22] - [23] - [?] MASTERLIST

Summary: With no memory of who you  were, you wake up in the woods, only to be found by eight unusually  handsome men. With no information of the past, the guys decide to take  you in and take care of you for the time being. But that time becomes  years, and as time passes, you start to notice that there is something  different about them... and something different about you...

Warnings:  angst, praise, thigh riding, kissing, fingering, overstimulation,  lovebites, bad/miscommunication, low self-esteem, swearing,  name-calling, dry humping, college, degradation, gods, special powers,  vaginal sex, oral sex (f&m), mentions of contraception  (condoms&thepill), injuries, mentions of death (but no character  deaths), virgin!reader, teasing, orgasms, poly relationship, semi-public  sex. I've probably forgotten some so let me know if I did and I will  add more as the story progresses.

Special thanks to my beta and cheerleader Lewis.   Couldn’t do this without you <3

You were home.

You were space.

You were everything.

You were nothing.

You could see them, there, sleeping, but not for long.

It was just the three of them so far.

But they would soon find the others, you knew.

It was destined.

The light rose and shone upon them, reflecting their inner lights.

How beautiful they were.

So beautiful.

And how much you longed to be with them.

But not yet.

They weren’t ready yet.

Their shells awoke and they started their day the same way they always did. Covering their shells with layers of fabric. Adorning their tops with sheer-looking hats with decorative beads. As if they were trying to hide themselves. But they could never hide. You’d always find them, easily, as their lights were too bright, too pretty to ever miss.

You watched as they did the things the lesser lights did as well. They were hiding in plain sight but no one ever seemed to notice. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to wear such a shell over your own light. It looked so uncomfortable.

You could see their emotions, their feelings suddenly displayed on their shells. Joy, happiness, love. But also other feelings that you did not know or understood.

You watched your favourite light, the oldest, as he entered the space in between. The space where the lesser lights couldn’t see him, but you still could. You watched how he manoeuvred and found what he was looking for. Once again it was a new lesser light. Your favourite light flickered for a moment, as he always did when he found a new light. He took the new light and, flickering once more, absorbed it. The new light slowly dimmed until its spark was completely gone. Your favourite light flickered once more before he continued to manoeuvre through the space in between.

You understood what he was doing, and why. But what you did not understand was how his light would flicker sometimes. It was something that had started not too long ago, something he hadn’t done in the beginning. But the more time he seemed to spend with the lesser lights, the longer and more he would flicker.

You couldn’t tell why.

But you did wonder.

Suddenly, you realised what was going to happen. You looked excitedly, and yes, he found him. Your favourite light stopped upon seeing another bright light in the in-between. He lingered for a while.

Why did he wait? Why wasn’t he showing himself?

You did not understand.

His light returned from the in-between, back with his shell as he went to find the others. They talked and their lights burned intensely. They were feeling the same thing you were.

Together they went to find the new light; of course it didn’t take long as he was still in the same spot the oldest light had found him.

But…

No, why did they leave again?

Why did they leave without the light they had just found?

They belonged together!

You did not understand.

You had been watching the other lonely light for so long and you knew he desperately needed the others.

But why had they left without him?

It didn’t make sense.

You didn’t understand.

For a moment you almost considered going to them but then…

No.

You had to wait.

It wasn’t time yet.

They weren’t together yet.

You waited…

You sat up in bed. Once again, it had been a very strange dream. With feelings and images so vivid that it felt like… Like…

You closed your eyes and tried to bring it back, but the feeling quickly faded, although the memory of it stayed.

Thoughts and ideas and memories bubbled up inside you, so intense you were starting to feel dizzy. You quickly blinked a few times and forced yourself to think of something else.

You checked your alarm clock. It was still quite early but not too early to already get out of bed and start your day. Clenching your jaw to suppress the dizzying thoughts in your head, you sat at the edge of your bed, feet touching the fluffy rug beside it.

Feet.

You needed socks.

Clothes.

You needed to get dressed, wash your face and brush your teeth.

‘Right,’ you mumbled to yourself as you got up and stretched.

By the time you arrived downstairs, you were happily whistling the intro tune of a show you used to watch.

Seungmin looked up from his newspaper as you entered the kitchen. You did a double-take. He was wearing a neat suit that fitted him well and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, and his hair was styled very differently than usual.

‘Wow,’ you blurted out.

‘Like what you see?’ he chuckled as he saw you staring. He picked up his coffee and sipped it.

‘I-you-I… You look good,’ you said, blinking a few times. Seungmin’s mouth pulled into a smile as he put down the cup.

‘I gotta dress up more often it seems. Come, sit,’ he said, patting the chair next to him. You walked over to come to sit next to him.

‘So tell me, is it the hair, the suit or the glasses?’ he winked with a devilish grin as he moved his face dangerously close to yours.

Before you could answer the front door opened with a smack and you almost fell from your chair in shock.

‘No, I mean it, you’ve been really improving lately dude,’ Changbin said cheerfully to Chan as they kicked off their shoes.

The both of them stepped into the light of the living room and you gulped as you looked at them. Both were wearing sleeveless tank tops and sweatpants that seemed slightly tighter than usual, accentuating their strong legs. Even though their clothes were stained with the sweat of their morning run, they still looked… well, hot.

‘Ah, good morning, y/n. Morning, Minnie, you’re going to a conference again?’ Chan asked as he saw Seungmin sitting in his suit. Seungmin nodded.

‘Looking good Seungmin!’ Changbin said and he whistled between his teeth while he looked him up and down. ‘Wait, does that mean you won’t be home for dinner tonight?’ he added, slightly frowning.

‘Oh, no, I will be. I think it lasts to like five, so I’ll just about make it,’ Seungmin answered.

Changbin and Chan came to sit at the table and Changbin were just about to ask you something when Minho and Han came walking down the stairs.

They were both wearing light-coloured fitted suits with glasses. Their hair was neatly styled back and they looked extremely dandy. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of them.

‘Are you guys going to a conference, too?’ Changbin asked with a grin.

‘What? No, we have that performance review today, remember?’ Minho said, slightly irritated.

‘Oh, you mean the one you have been complaining about yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that one. And the day before that,’ Chan jokingly recounted.

Minho pulled up his lip at Chan but didn’t say anything and walked over to the kitchen to make them some coffee.

A door opened and closed and you could hear Felix’s light footsteps rushing over to the kitchen. He was wearing his vet’s coat and a stethoscope was hanging from his shoulders. You didn’t often see him wearing his vet’s coat around the house but when you did, you really enjoyed seeing him.

Softly cursing under his breath, he was typing rapidly on his phone.

‘Good morning to you too, Lixie,’ Han said with a raised brow as Felix completely ignored him and grabbed an apple from the kitchen counter.

‘What? Oh, hi,’ he replied, suddenly noticing the lot of you sitting at the kitchen table. His eyes locked with yours for a moment and he smiled shortly.

‘Sorry, can’t talk, already late, see you at dinner, love you!’ he called out as he ran to the door, pocketing his phone as he ran out.

‘Love you too!’ Changbin shouted after him and Chan chuckled.

‘What’s with all the door-slapping this morning?’ Hyunjin’s voice sounded from the stairs. When he came around the corner, your mouth dropped. He was wearing a pair of leather fitted pants with a large leather jacket that made him look incredibly stylish. The entire outfit looked like it had come straight from the runway, him with it.

‘Nice fit, dude,’ Chan remarked as Hyunjin went to join Minho to make himself some tea.

‘Thanks, I’ve been waiting for an excuse to wear it for ages and I’ve finally found the perfect opportunity,’ he said, grinning.

‘Which is?’ Han asked.

‘I’ve been invited to the opening of the new art club in town,’ Hyunjin explained.

‘An… Art… Club?’ Changbin said, frowning. ‘Like a gathering or like, where Jeongin works?’

‘The last one,’ Hyunjin replied, as he put the kettle on.

‘I really don’t get art,’ Minho said, shaking his head and frowning as he returned with three cups of coffee, one for him and the other two for Changbin and Han.

‘Wait, wasn’t it your turn to cook tonight?’ you pointed out, a moment of clarity between your drooling over all of their fits.

‘Don’t worry, darling, I’ll be back for dinner and I’ll cook for you,’ he said with a wink. You tried your best not to blush.

‘Hmmrng,’ a hum came from the stairs.

Jeongin entered the kitchen, his black hair still wet from the shower, wearing a white sleeveless top and light-grey sweatpants. The casual style looked quite hot on him…

Gosh, what was with their outfits this morning? You had to press your thighs together to keep your head out of the gutter.

‘I better pack my back,’ you said, quickly getting up. ‘You’ll let me know when you’re leaving?’ you asked Minho and Han and they nodded in answer.

‘Wait, don’t you want breakfast?’ Seungmin asked as you were already on your way to the stairs.

‘Not hungry!’ you lied as you dashed up the stairs, hoping that you would be able to think properly today and that the “research” you had done this past weekend hadn’t soiled you.

Although classes went well, you still kept seeing the images of their hot outfits this morning as if they were played like a slideshow before your eyes.

Even when you visited Adam, it didn’t stop.

‘Hello, earth to y/n?’ he said, waving his hand in front of your eyes to catch your attention.

‘Oh, sorry,’ you said quickly, focussing back on him. All bandages had been removed from his head now and it was nice to be able to see his entire face again. Many of his wounds were recovering well, but the deep, stitched-up, curved cut that ran from his eyebrow over his temple to his cheekbone looked like it would definitely leave a scar.

‘So, as I was saying, the grandparents’ visit wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be. They actually spent some time with me and seemed genuinely interested in my health. They even praised me on the fact that I had been studying while here,’ Adam shared, happily.

‘Oh, that’s great,’ you said with a smile.

‘Yeah, it was kind of nice,’ he said, smiling as well. ‘Also, I got some good news yesterday.’ He pulled a mysterious face.

‘Do tell,’ you said eagerly.

‘Well, the doctors say, since I’ve been healing so well, I’ll probably be allowed to leave the hospital this Thursday. I mean I’d still have to come back for check-ups and stuff, and I’ll probably have to use crutches for a while, while walking, but other than that-’

‘Adam, that’s amazing!’ you exclaimed happily, unable to contain the broad smile on your face.

‘Yeah, I’m really hoping they’ll stick to their word. I miss bothering you during lunch breaks,’ he said with a playful pout. You laughed.

‘But how are things with you? And don’t say fine like you keep saying in your texts cuz I don’t believe jack shit of that. Knowing you, there’s always something going on in your life,’ Adam said sharply.

You rolled your eyes at him but smiled.

‘I really am fine. Of course, there are… some things going on, but everyone always has something going on, don’t they?’ you tried. But Adam wasn’t buying it.

‘Come on, we’re friends now, you can tell me,’ he said encouragingly.

You hesitated.

‘It’s… It’s more of a girl thing, maybe,’ you said apologetically. You really liked having Adam as a friend but this wasn’t something you thought he’d feel comfortable with discussing.

You loved having Adam in your life, a simple beacon of humanity outside all of the turmoil you had with the Gods you were living with. But there had been moments where you had longed for a female friend with whom you could talk about girl things with.

‘Tsk,’ Adam said, clicking his tongue. ‘I have a sister, remember, I’m used to girl things,’ he argued. ‘Come on, you can talk to aunty Adam,’ he pushed on jokingly.

You pressed your lips together for a moment, thinking. You really wanted to get it off your chest, to ask someone, anyone who might know more than you, who wasn’t one of the guys at home.

You gave in.

‘Actually,’ you began, thinking carefully of how you were going to word it before continuing, ‘I think I like someone else a lot,’ you decided to say. For a millisecond Adam’s face flattened but he immediately recovered.

‘Good for you,’ he said with a friendly smile. ‘And does they like you back?’

‘Yes,’ you said with a nod, the unsure feeling spreading all over your face.

‘That’s great! But then, what’s the problem?’ Adam asked caringly.

You hesitated again, but you had already come this far, and it felt like it was too late to turn back now.

‘Well…’ you began, once more thinking of how to word it properly, ‘We kissed. And it was great… But now… I think… Maybe I want to take the next step?’ you said, not able to look at him.

‘Ah, I understand,’ Adam said, not skipping a beat this time, ‘so?’

‘So…’ you said, feeling like your cheeks would combust with the heat. ‘I… I never…’ you couldn’t say it out loud but Adam understood.

‘Oh, erm,’ he cleared his throat awkwardly. You stared at your shoes, wanting to run out of the room with embarrassment. ‘Well,’ Adam began and you were happy he was talking once more, ‘obviously I’m not a girl, so I don’t have any knowledge or advice I can give you with that, sorry,’ he said sheepishly. He was quiet for a minute as you picked at your nail, embarrassed.

‘I guess,’ he began suddenly, ‘I guess, the most important thing is that you feel ready, you know? Most of the time, when this is the case, it’ll go well, especially if it’s with someone you love and they love you,’ he said, pausing for a moment. ‘Just… take it easy, do what feels right, get out if it doesn’t, and… I guess, use protection? God, I sound like a dad, ew,’ he said, sounding disgusted. You couldn’t help but laugh, finally able to face him

‘Honestly, y/n, don’t worry about it, I bet it will be fine,’ he said encouragingly. You smiled at him. ‘Anway, speaking of girl things, do you think I’ll still be able to pull with this miscreant on my face?’ he asked, feigning worry as he pointed to the stitched up scar on his forehead.

‘I told you, pirates are in again, dude.’ You grinned.

Adam’s words, although not really helpful, did give you a slight boost of confidence. You knew he was probably right. You weren’t with some random dude, no, this was the guys you were thinking of, your boys. They would never ever harm or hurt you or make you uncomfortable on purpose. It would be fine.

You were just on your way out of the hospital when you passed the pharmacy and a line Adam had said repeated itself in your head.

“I guess use protection?”

Right.

Protection.

You paused, thinking for a moment.

You knew there were several options, but you preferred to take control of it. Deciding your own fate and method.

You took a deep breath and walked over to the counter.

‘Yeez, Y/n, you’re late,’ Jeongin said as soon as you stepped into the house.

‘Please, don’t tell me you got takeout,’ Hyunjin said, spotting the bag in your hand. ‘I texted you that we’ll keep a portion for you until you’d be home.’

‘Can I have it?’ Seungmin asked without waiting for your answer.

‘It’s not takeout,’ you said with a smile as you took off your shoes in the hallway before walking over to the kitchen. You didn’t sit down though and the guys all looked at you curiously.

‘Desert?’ Minho asked, hopeful, as he eyed the white plastic bag in your fist. You shook your head.

‘I thought it was high time I’d get myself on the contraceptive pill. You know, just to be safe,’ you said, heart pounding in your chest.

Chan choked on his food. Changbin dropped his chopsticks. Minho stopped mid-grabbing his drink. Han’s mouth fell open, a portion of his food with it. Jeongin seemed to have frozen in place, his golden eyes wide open, staring at you. Seungmin’s chopsticks were poking into his cheek instead of his mouth. Felix’s mouth was hanging open similar to Han’s.

‘Good call,’ Hyunjin said calmly. ‘Why don’t you put it in your room for now. I’ll just go ahead and heat up your food for you.’

You nodded, turning and walking up the stairs to your room, ears burning red hot and a grin on your face.

#skz #straykids #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #straykids fanfic #skz fanfic #skz fic #skz fanfiction #skz fan fiction #bangchan #bang chan #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hwanghyunjin #hanjisung #han jisung #jisung #leeknow #lee know #lee minho #felix #felix lee #lee felix #jeongin #seungmin #kim seungmin #changbin #seo changbin #seochangbin #stray gods

[j-a-nuary]

Carrier

Almost Normal

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Stray Kids Urban fantasy AU (feat. Ateez from time to time) | A “carrier service” exists, seemingly only to get people (usually women) home safe after the trains stop running.

Heavy on bad boys with hearts of… some kind of shiny metal, probably.

Warnings: nothing too wild in this chapter. Some medical-ish stuff (wound description), Vasilisa is ornery with Hyunjin.

=====

"There you are! Goodness,” Tempawan's coworker, Sunmi, openly gawked at her neck, "what on earth happened to you?"

Tempawan grimaced.

"It's going to sound crazy."

Sunmi gave her a sarcastic look, "it already looks crazy."

She wasn't wrong. The bite mark on her shoulder was being stubborn. Despite a lack of infection, it was refusing to simply scab over and get on with healing. While she wasn't actively bleeding anymore, it was still gross - a disgusting raw mess that was always slightly moist. So Tempawan was left with packing gauze onto it, holding it in place with ribbon-like medical tape.

"Fair enough," Tempawan sighed, "I got attacked by a dog."

Sunmi's eyes widened in shock.

"How on earth? What happened?"

"I don't really remember," Tempawan shrugged, "I went out on Wednesday night and then… woke up in a hospital room on Thursday."

"Jeezy creezy," Sunmi muttered, "well, director Kang was looking for you yesterday."

"I think this," she gestured towards the bandage that was visible under the edge of her collar, "will give me an excuse for missing a day or two of work."

"Not really his job," Sunmi shrugged, then looked a little embarrassed.

"Can," she gave Tempawan a secretive smile, "can I see?"

Tempawan rolled her eyes, but leaned forward to indulge her friend. She winced slightly as she peeled back a strip of tape, "I'll warn you, it's kind of gross."

With an encouraging nod from Sunmi, she shook her head and slowly revealed the glossy puncture marks.

Sunmi gasped, physically recoiling.

"Holy…"

"Yeah," Tempawan pulled her foundation cushion out of her bag. She flipped it open, using the mirror to check the wound. "Like I said: gross."

"No kidding. Does it still hurt?"

"Not really," she started re-securing her bandage, "but that's only because the doctor gave me some medicine. It's worse when I sleep."

Satisfied with her gauze placement, Tempawan clicked shut the compact. She quickly readjusted her top so it didn't tug against the patch.

"Well," she stood, resigning herself to her fate, "I guess I should go see the director. If you don’t hear from me, I've been fired and you should come get me from the bar."

=====

"Director Kang?"

She cautiously peeked around the door to the director's office. Everyone knew that if it was propped open, they were free to enter. But she didn't particularly want to enter. Even though her absence was undeniably excusable, even with the proof still leaking into bandages on her neck, she was convinced she was going to be in trouble.

"Is that you Miss Shim?"

Kang Seungyoon didn't look up from his computer. His fingers were flying across his keyboard with an urgency that Tempawan recognized as just gotta finish this email.

"Yes sir."

He vaguely nodded towards the seat in front of his desk, eyes still glued to his screen, "take a seat. This will just be a second."

Tempawan stiffly dipped into the chair. It was probably comfortable when you weren't nervous, but she was trying to be on her best behavior.

The room was silent, save for the muted taps of the director's fingers on his keyboard. Finally, the tap-tap-tap was punctuated by a click from the mouse.

"Alright," he leaned his head back, rolling his neck and shoulders, "sorry about that. It was somewhat urgent."

"Not a problem sir."

"Now then, I wanted to che-"

Tempawan’s eyes had strayed to her own fingers as she waited, but the abrupt way the director cut off his own words alerted her to the fact that he must have finally looked at her.

Like so many things that one would hope others wouldn't notice, the bandage on her neck appeared exigent. Well, perhaps not the bandage itself. The accompanying bruising however seemed to trigger empathy, even in strangers… such as the barista that handed her coffee over this morning.

Director Kang's reaction did not inspire her to meet his gaze, but she couldn't so blatantly avoid it without coming across as rude. Or would he go easier on her if she played up the "traumatizing event" angle?

Her decision was made for her when she heard the unmistakable sounds of the director standing up and moving.

She looked up and saw him cross the office to open the door.

"Come. We'll have the clinic staff take a look at it."

He stood by the door expectantly.

Tempawan hesitated. She wasn't sure exactly why, but she was gripped with the idea that she might get pulled from the trial. And if she got pulled, that probably meant that Dhia would get pulled as well. And if Dhia got pulled, she'd have to start over with a new fertility clinic. One that she'd have to pay for, rather than getting paid by.

"Miss Shim?"

She shook her head, finally standing up.

"Sorry," she bowed quickly, "I got a little lost in thought."

Director Kang took a step back into the office, letting the door close again.

"Is there an issue?"

He sounded sincere. As sincere as a professional could, anyway. He even looked sincere - a faint frown creasing his brow, but not reaching much further than that.

"It's just…" Tempawan licked her lips nervously, "it won't impact my eligibility, will it?"

The director's face relaxed slightly. He even allowed himself a small smile.

"You don't have to worry about that," he reassured her. "I just want to make sure my team's health is properly looked after."

=====

Working for a multinational corporation definitely had benefits. Working for one that was aggressively expanding its medical research divisions had even more.

Tempawan shivered slightly as a cool gel was applied to her wound. After a few minutes, the dull ache was nearly gone.

“This isn’t anything addictive, is it?”

“Not chemically or physically,” the clinician assured her, “just in the way that, say, your favorite food might be addictive.”

Tempawan frowned, trying to parse that sentence before deciding to be straightforward.

“So it’s not an opioid?”

The clinician laughed, shaking her head.

“Absolutely not. Regardless of addiction concerns, opiates aren’t nearly as effective as they’ve been advertised to be.” She shook her head, “they’re more effective at making patients lose lucidity than actually stopping pain.”

“Oh,” Tempawan nodded, not entirely sure if that was true or not. “Then what is this?”

“Marketing is still working on a name for it. We just call it The Slime,” the clinician laughed.

“I’m assuming since you’re laughing that everything is okay?” Director Kang asked from behind the privacy curtain.

The clinician shot Tempawan a smile that landed somewhere between embarrassed and conspiratorial. They had both forgotten the man behind the curtain.

"I think everything is all set," she spoke in a more professional tone now, "the hospital you went to did a good job."

=====

"Not to sound like some sort of drug dealer," Vasilisa hummed, "but I'm assuming if your ending your business with me that you've found a new supplier."

The witch stood over an electric rice cooker. Her familiar, a chubby fuzzy thing, was handing her vegetables to chop. Hyunjin nodded, before remembering that she had her back turned and starting to speak.

"Ye-"

"I see."

He hated it when they did that. He didn't know for sure, but he was pretty sure that the witch could see through her familiar's eyes. Or maybe they were connected telepathically. Either way, he hated it.

"It's not some shady donor scheme, is it?" She kept her back to him. The round rodent moved aside, scrabbling the unused ends of vegetable into the sink as the witch started on some cut of meat.

"No ma'am," Hyunjin murmured. "It's… ah…"

He paused, realizing that he didn't actually know where Chan and his company obtained their blood.

"It's a…?" Vasilisa prompted him to continue.

"It's through my new job."

The witch huffed slightly, but still didn't turn to face him. An uncomfortable silence fell as she worked the extraneous fat off the hunk of meat.

After plopping all of the ingredients into the rice cooker, she finally spoke again.

"That sounds like something one of those trafficking rings would say."

Hyunjin frowned. He had to admit, even if only to himself, that he didn't actually know what Bang Chan's source was.

"I don't think they'd do that. Their business seems to be somewhat based on keeping people safe."

He watched her hands go still. Her fingers twitched, the motion mimicked by her familiar. Were they talking - thinking? - about him?

Vasilisa turned on her heel, fixing a hard look on Hyunjin.

"Bang Chan isn't trying to use you due to your…" her nose crinkled in distaste, "past hobbies, is he?"

Hyunjin shook his head quickly.

"No ma'am," he protested, "Chan doesn't even know about what I am- I mean was! What I was."

Something moving faster than you is scary enough for humans.

For vampires, it's downright terrifying.

Before he could even finish blinking, Vasilisa's ladle was under his chin. He resisted the urge to gulp down his nerves.

"That's right Jinnie. Was. Because we know better than to mess with that shit again," she tapped the ladle against his chin, firm, "right?"

He managed a jerky nod. It earned him another tap.

"Right, Jinnie?"

This time, he forced words out.

"Yes ma'am."

#Carrier #skz fic #skz fanfic #skz x oc #stray kids fic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x oc #skz fan fiction #stray kids fan fiction #vampire!hyunjin