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#so HOPEFULLY! I succeeded here lol

hotdogmchiggin · 1 year

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King and Eda are fucking pissed.

Both of their reactions throughout this whole scene in Watching and Dreaming fucking destroyed me man. Their complete, wordless shock followed by unbridled grief-stricken rage just…. hit hard. Havent really seen art for this moment so wanted to take a crack at it.

Also since I’ve been experimenting more with procreate, I learned that it automatically saves a TIMELAPSE. So now YOU TOO! Can see my abysmal drawing process. I’ll either add that in a reblog or in a new post, so just keep an eye out if you’re interested in seeing that I guess.

Anyway tumblr’s gonna fuck up the quality so I’m putting CLOSEUPS under the cut.

#tried to post this with the timelapse attached before but i think she was too LARGE and it got mad #SO! I will post it in a reblog or something #or a new post?? i dont know whats better #anyway AUAIAGAOAIAUAHAHAOUAGAGAH I LOVE GRIEF FUELED RAGE AND INTENSE EMOTIONS #and i love trying to figure out how to properly CONVEY the INTENSITY of those emotions in my art #so HOPEFULLY! I succeeded here lol #i sorta wish that king and eda had more time in the episode to go completely apeshit and attack belos #but i understand the writers probably had to be super tight with how they handled time so I cant be too mad about it #FUCK DISNEY FOR REDUCING THE SHOWS LENGTH EDA AND KING DESERVED TO BEAT BELOS TO DEATH FOR 10 MINUTES #anyway I should. probably stop ranting in the tags #the owl house #toh #eda clawthorne #king clawthorne #watching and dreaming #toh season 3 #toh spoilers #myart #toh fanart

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heesdreamer · 1 year

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off the ice

PAIRING ➩ sunghoon x reader

SUMMARY ➩ dubbed ‘ice princess’ at an early age for you ice skating skills, you face the biggest challenge of your career when you’re paired with your rival for a competition dance.

GENRE ➩ rivals to lovers enemies to lovers

WARNINGS ➩ suggestive content, abusive figures and strict career lifestyle mentions.

WC ➩ 17.1k

DISCLAIMER : im not citing this as sunghoons personal experience with training or his career and im not making light of the abuse that goes on in the ice skating field and the strict dieting and lifestyle. also side note i literally don’t know a single technical term for skating tricks or competitions so this is my limited descriptive talented and googled information lol (not proofread)

The human body was something you’d never quite been able to grasp completely. It’s rules for right and wrong, it’s reactions to certain stimuli. The way it can bend and twist but not break yet one small accident can ruin it forever.

There was nothing you dreaded more than having that type of accident. It plagued your mind from early morning to late night, what ways you could avoid getting hurt.

Ironic considering your lifestyle choices seemed to bring nothing but hurt, only in the shape of bruised limbs and sore muscles.

Since you were 4 years old, your entire existence had been devoted to one thing. One single thing in your frame of sight, one thing that would determine your future and if you succeeded as a prodigy or failed as an old hobbyist.

On your fourth Christmas your mother had gifted you a small box that was wrapped tightly with a pretty purple bow. At that age you were, of course, more interested in the packaging itself than the contents inside it.

Little did you know, your whole entire growing life form was sitting inside the small box and you were en route to become a prodigy in the making.

For the next 15 years you spent everyday on the ice. Obviously retiring the tiny pair of skates that was hidden behind the old purple bow, you’d gone through dozens of pairs are you grew and the stitching began to fade and tear.

Throughout your school years, you lost yourself in a daze of studying followed by practice followed by studying followed by more practice. You, impressively, managed to keep a small hand full of friends despite the constant look of disappointment you’d face after canceling hangouts.

Then you were graduating, and with a big smile on your face, flowers in hand, you prepared to take a deep breath in and start your life with a blank state. The way you wanted it to be.

You scowled at the memory now as your hands smacked against the cold ice, shavings from the skid of your blade sneaking their way under your gloves and sleeves. Your deep breath of relief had been cut short by the icy chill and reminder that what you had been training for, didn’t end at adulthood.

“That’s the third time you’ve missed that.” Your coach was declaring from off on the side of the rink, ringing her hands together and peering down at you.

You didn’t mind Coach Suzy, if anything she was miles better than dealing with your mothers remarks and insults, but her need to point out the obvious wasn’t your favorite quirk of hers.

Pushing off from the ice back onto your skates, you held your scowl and did a loop around the rink to get back into the motion of it. Three tries without success was, in your standards at least, a complete failure. Your mother would be having a complete public fit if she had found the time to come today.

You simply haven’t, and did not, lose and you weren’t planning on making a late habit of it. Throughout your career you were quickly dubbed a skater to be on the lookouts for, a growing prodigy with a burning passion and a unique sense of style, the Princess of the Ice.

So to be stood here with ice under your nails like a complete amateur, was unacceptable. You furrowed your brows and prepared to send off again, picking up speed and hopefully enough momentum to complete the one jump you’d never had luck with.

Your coach’s whistle stopped you in your tracks and you turned your skate against the ice, stopping abruptly and glaring towards her in confusion. Upon the sight of her, and her newfound companion, your shoulders were deflating with annoyance and exhaustion.

Stood on her side, leaning against the railing and watching you with a half smirk and a skate digging into the ice below him, was none other than Park Sunghoon.

Park Sunghoon had begun his training around the same time as you and you two had immediately been put into comparison, despite the difference in genders never actually leading you to competing. Although, you didn’t need to be in front of judges to compete with each other.

He oozed natural talent and charisma, his body light in the air and swift on the ice. He was quickly named the best skater in your area and he’d yet to lose the title, with you always following a close second. The Ice Prince was spreading throughout the whispers of judges and growing fandoms and to make matters worse for you, he was completely humble.

“Making slushees princess?” His low mocking voice floating across the ice towards you reminded you immediately that humble, did not mean he was kind.

Quite the opposite actually. You and Sunghoon had both fully taken on the position of rivals in training and performance, paying more attention to each others marks than the ones of the girls you actually were being ranked against.

So despite your mutual popularity and matching affectionate nicknames given by the public, you’d yet to do any sort of collaborative stage or paired competition. Until this years national competition.

You came to a slow skate as you approached the two of them, doing a small spin before clumsily falling back against the railing and taking a deep breath. Your coach smiled over at you and your antics before putting on her serious face.

“It’s only three months before the competition guys and I know it’s not what either of you wanted and it’s a short timeframe but I need practice to start within the week.”

The practice and competition she was referring to was the fact your worst nightmare had come true last month when another soloist from your district was chosen to represent at this years comp. You had no idea why she was picked over you considering you routinely ranked higher than her but what’s done is done.

You had come to terms with the fact you wouldn’t be competing for the first time in your life, almost feeling a strange sense of relief at the thought, when Coach Suzy dropped the bomb on you that you were instead selected for the pair dance.

You weren’t completely unfamiliar with skating with a partner, doing some casual dances in low scale showcases and once or twice in an actually competition, but you had a bad gut feeling about who your partner would be judging by her hesitance.

And looking back over to his smirking face now, that same nasty gut feeling was sinking back in.

It wasn’t the actual performance you were necessarily worried about, Sunghoon was no doubt talented and he had more experience with partners than you. It was the enforced effort that not strangling each other everyday was going to take, that was stressing you out.

——

It was 4am and you were sat in the center of the rink, the cold ice against your legs and back wasn’t bothering you much, only a slight distraction as you read through the script and guide for your expected performance.

Your brows were furrowed as you flipped through the pages swiftly, nearly tearing them with the force you moved them. So focused in on the words in front of you, you didn’t even notice the sounds of the gates squeaking until a skate was in front of you.

Without glancing up, you sighed and flipped the booklet closed, raising it up in an attempt to hand it to the boy standing over you. You studied his signature skates with annoyance, furthering when he didn’t take the paper from you.

“I’ve read it.” He explained and you finally looked up to meet his gaze. His eyes were tired but also seemed to be studying your reaction to the materiel. You briefly wondered if he was having a late night or an early morning as you drifted your gaze to his tight black turtleneck down to his sport pants.

“Is she kidding with this?” You scoffed and pushed off your hands so you were standing with him now. He didn’t say anything, watching as you tugged down your sweater and wiped your hands off on the thick fabric. “It’s like sex on ice.”

“It’s supposed to be romantic.” He offered with a raised eyebrow and he laughed when you turned your sharp glare towards him. “It’s a staple, you know it is. And besides it’s a big deal that the ice royalty are performing together.”

You didn’t miss the hint of disdain in his voice at the audience given title and you once again found yourself admiring his humbleness, despite it seemingly border-lining on insecurity occasionally.

“Why are you here?” You found yourself asking before you even realized you were starting to speak, you pushed off into a slow skate in a loop around him and he spun softly in place to watch you as you circled him.

He shrugged softly, the sharp line of his shoulders raising and falling and you quirked an eyebrow at his lack of answer. Eventually he sighed and spoke again. “I just come here sometimes..”

Immediately you understood what he meant and why he’d be at the rink at these hours. The same reasons why instead of studying at home, you were sprawled against the cold ice that was natural for you.

Sunghoon and you had never seen eye to eye but you were undoubtedly living a lifestyle that not many people your age could relate to, and that was clear to you as you spent the earliest years of your life searching for somebody who could even half understand that reasoning behind why, sometimes, the only place to go was the skating center.

“Did you want to practice what you’ve read so far or just talk.” His sharp tone was seeping into his words again, switching the atmosphere immediately and you frowned for a second before remembering who you were talking with. You scowled and laid back onto the ice, the starting position of your dance.

“On your side” He said lowly as he laid down next to you, a few inches between you. You nodded, accepting that he understood the choreography better than you, and turned towards him. Your eyes followed down the slope of his nose to his eyes that were staring at the ceiling.

It felt strange to lay on the ice in such a vulnerable position and even stranger to be laying next to Park Sunghoon.

“Don’t face me idiot.” He was sighing, without looking at you, and you groaned and turned onto your other side.

“Music cue.” You whispered and he hummed in agreement. The first part of your performance was no doubt the most awkward for you, you understood the physical contact that came with stunts and pair skating but this felt unnecessary and strange.

You rolled your body across the ice closer to Sunghoon until you were climbing overtop of him, both arms out and caging his body so you didn’t touch. He was holding in a laugh as he watched you and you glared down at him.

“This is so stupid.” You muttered and and completed the roll so you were now laying on his right side, close enough to touch now. The position didn’t last long because his next move was to do a similar roll overtop of you, pulling you up with him to a standing position.

“It’s romantic.” He repeated his teasing words from earlier but they felt a lot more intimate now that he was laying on top of you, peering down at you from under his floppy bangs. You suddenly felt the urge to kick him off of you.

“Raise your chest up.” He instructed and you did so robotically causing him to pause and glare at you. “At least attempt to look graceful.”

You groaned and flopped back down against the ice, taking a breath and counting to three before once again sitting up slightly, this time putting more emotion behind your movements.

He nodded softly as he swiftly jumped to a stand over you at the same time you moved, his hands coming up behind you to rest on your shoulder blades. He was awkwardly bent over you in a frozen position, thinking about the next move.

“I forgot.” He mumbled and you sighed, pushing him backwards on his skates and bringing yourself up to stand instead of relying on him.

“I thought you read it genius.” You growled and circled back around to your abandoned script, flipping open the first page and studying it. You glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow at the zoned out look on his face. “I wrap my arms around your neck.”

He seemed to snap out of his gaze and looked over at you quickly. “Yeah then I lift you, I remember.”

You sighed and shook your head in his direction, ignoring the quirk of his dark eyebrow and obvious confusion at your motion. Without another word you turned and started skating back towards the edge of the rink, preparing to silently call it a night and start again tomorrow at practice.

“So that’s all you’ve got then?” You ignored his voice as it echoed from across the ice, by now you were far to use to his quick one lined remarks to truly let it have any effect on you. “Didn’t realize you were so content with losing princess.”

The sound of the ice under your skate was almost deafening as you turned your foot and squealed to a stop, ice flakes kicking up onto your ankles from the force of the abrupt brake.

You spun around and were back in his space in seconds, eyes burning from under your sweaty bangs and he stared down at you with amusement and that competitive fire you were used to seeing from him.

“I don’t lose Park.” You were spitting the words in his direction, the tips of your skates brushing against his with a soft clank that went unheard. You lifted a hand towards his chest and jabbed a finger onto the fabric of his turtleneck, causing him to softly rock backwards a few centimeters. “And I won’t start now so get your shit together and reread the script.”

——

Some mornings you felt almost robotic in the way you could wake up and be at practice before you even registered brushing your teeth, a quick blur of familiarity and installed routine.

Other mornings you wondered how much it would hurt to have to peel your skin from off your mattress, the imagery being the most accurate representation of how it felt to wake up and actually get started.

You were falling somewhere in the middle today, trudging through the lobby of the sports center with puffy eyes and jutted out lips to match. Marching past Coach Suzy, you ignored her furrowed brows.

“What is with the two of you today?” She was calling from behind you and you didn’t need to ask her what she was talking about, catching sight of the other half of her reference already out on the ice and wearing the same clothes from when you’d last saw him. You suppose your question of late night or early morning was answered now.

After you had laced up your skates and pushed out onto the ice, he offered you a quick nod of subtle acknowledgment.

“What.. no morning princess?” You admit you were grumbling as you skated past him, planning to warm up with a few loops around the rink. He caught up to you as you started, skating backwards so he could face you.

“I knew you secretly liked it.” His retort caused you to scoff and turn your eyes into a glare, although you both noted the lack of usual serious intensity. You were too tired to go back and forth with him today and judging off the darkness under his eyes, he was in a similar boat.

“She’s going to run us into the ground today.” You replied with instead, a subtle warning in your voice and he quirked an eyebrow at the casual conversation you were initiating.

“Looking forward to it princess.”

——

You were regretting not taking your own warning more seriously, hours had passed and most the other skaters at the center had packed up and went home, sparing you and your partner a pity filled glance as they left.

Coach Suzy had been relentlessly instructing you repeat and repeat the steps until they were perfection, even stopping you a few dozens times before you’d even completed the first move citing it was “messy and emotionless”.

“Where’s the chemistry.” She was shouting from the sidelines and you sighed loudly from your place above Sunghoon, he was holding you up by your waist for one of the smaller stunts and you felt him peering up at you. “There’s no passion.”

“Yeah, no shit.” You heard Sunghoon muttering as he gently set you back down onto the ice before, not so gently, kicking it with his blade in frustration.

You were standing still on the ice, taking a deep breath and resting your head back to look up at the glass ceiling above you, seeing the blue hue of the sun finishing setting. You wiped the sweat from your forehead and brought your attention back to your coach.

“Tell us how to fake it and we will.” You told her earnestly. You were frustrated that she wasn’t allowing you to fully practice the moves with eachother, despite understanding the need for a show of emotion to capture the audience, what was the point if you fell on your ass during a poorly practiced stunt.

“You can’t fake chemistry princess.” As much as you admired and respected your coach for the years of her life she dedicated towards you and your career, you couldn’t help but flinch at the way she spat the title at you. Her tone was almost mocking as frustration got the best of her.

Sunghoon came into frame, skating forward and placing himself in front of you. You couldn’t see his face but judging by the way your coach’s features softened over his shoulder, you imagined his expression showed he wasn’t happy with the way she was speaking to you.

“I don’t mean to be like this.” She shook her head and wrung her mittened hands together. “There’s lots of reasons here why it’s important for you kids to win…. Stuff we can talk about soon.”

Neither of you spoke for a bit, staring at her off in the distance and still catching your breaths from the intense practice. Sunghoon turned his head to look at you from over his shoulder and you nearly smiled at the familiar fire in his gaze. You nodded at him in confirmation.

“Don’t worry, we’re winning.”

——

“What part of this are you not fucking understanding.” Sunghoon’s irritated yell was hitting the back of your head as you skated a bit away in anger, taking deep breaths and attempting to not escalate the situation. “It’s a simple cascade down, it’s not even a stunt.”

“I understand it asshole.” You were spinning around to face him, your voice coming out loud and bouncing across the ice. “Maybe if you supported me better it’d be easier to want to drop down.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, watching you with downturned eyes behind his messy bangs and catching his breath slightly. Then he was shaking his head and skating towards the edge of the ice, opening the gate and looking back at you expectantly.

You watched him with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl, not understanding what he was silently insinuating or why you would cut practice short after only 6 hours. Only two days had past since the talk with your coach and if anything, you’ve only gotten more hostile towards each other.

“Let’s go.” He eventually spoke with a sigh, annoyed he had to spell it out to you. “I know a place that’s open.”

The place he was referring to was apparently a 24 hour diner placed just two blocks from the center. You’d never seen it before and this didn’t surprise you considering you rarely went anywhere besides practice and home and even more rarely ate out.

You weren’t exactly sure how you felt about eating out somewhere that seemingly only served classic American grease fest and milkshakes, but Sunghoon seemed comfortable and relaxed as he slid into the booth opposite you.

You were questioning now if you’d ever seen him look so casual. Sure, he was known to be friendly and he obviously was no stranger to jokes and teasing but if you saw him here any other time, you’d think he was just a regular student without a care.

This left a weird pit in your stomach considering the fact he wasn’t a regular student and neither were you, and acting like one wouldn’t do you any good when it came to your future or this competition.

Still your thoughts fizzled out when the older waitress wandered over to your table, pocketing her order book with familiarity as she looked at the boy sat across from you.

“Sunghoon, it’s been too long sweetie.” She was smiling brightly down at him and he was glancing at you with a half smirk, you almost sensed bashfulness in his expression. “Is this your girlfriend?”

It took you a second to realize she was referring to you, her warm motherly gaze falling to your side and cocking her head in anticipation for a response. Your mouth parted in surprise as you fumbled for an answer.

“She’s a friend.” Sunghoon rushed out before you could, awkwardly avoiding your gaze picking at the old chipped vinyl on the table. You furrowed your eyebrows at the use of the word. Was he just avoiding more questions or did he actually consider you two to be friends?

The waitress looked between the two of you with a quirked eyebrow and you felt slight annoyance at the teasing glint in her eyes, like she knew something you didn’t. You opted for staring at the table infront of you, watching Sunghoon’s anxious habit. She muttered something about getting his usual and then she was off back into the kitchen.

Sunghoon cleared his throat and you looked up at him from behind your hair. He was watching you, still with an air of awkwardness, and you once again noted how different he looked in this setting.

“Why are we here?” You automatically felt bad at the harshness in your tone and if it was anybody else you’d apologize or take it back. But you could tell that he understood you were frustrated and tired from practice and antsy about wasting time.

“Coach said we don’t have any chemistry.” He explained and you gave him a look that made him chuckle under his breath. He put his elbows on the table and leaned forward slightly. “I don’t know, I thought maybe we should try to have an actual conversation.”

“We have conversations.” You butt in, shaking your head like it was an obvious statement. You’d known the boy for almost your entire life, even if you were reluctant to admit it, you’d spoken to him more than most people you know.

“When’s my birthday.” His voice penetrated your line of thought and you looked back up at him, slightly shrinking at the question. “Do I have any siblings? Matter of fact, have you ever even seen me outside of the center?”

You were glaring at him as he spoke, although you couldn’t deny what he was saying. You wracked your brain for any counter argument, grasping at straws. “Three years ago I saw you at a 7/11.”

“Woah.” He raised an eyebrow at this and smiled down at you, looking slightly surprised when you offered a small smile back. “What was I doing?”

“Buying snacks.” You gave him a disapproving stare. You weren’t lying about this, much to your surprise you had caught him a few winters ago with two handfuls of restricted snacks and a jumbo soda balanced in his arm.

“And you didn’t rat me out?” He was definitely teasing but you still thought you heard a bit of surprise and truth in his words, like he genuinely expected you to run and tell on him. “Wait, why were you at 7/11?”

For a moment you considered lying, telling him you were getting pain pills or a protein bar but this new excited look on his face was silently urging you to lean into the openness of the conversation.

“Isn’t it obvious? I was buying snacks.” You leaned back in the booth and crossed your arms. A loud laugh pushed past his lips and your eyes widened slightly at the sound, more used to chuckles or scoffs.

His tired gaze softened on you slightly at your surprised expression but before he could speak or continue the conversation, a second waitress was returning with your food (two orders of Sunghoon’s ‘usual’).

You were staring down at the plate with a curious expression, slightly overwhelmed by the amount of food placed in front of you. You could feel his stare on you as you studied it and you lifted an eyebrow without looking up at him. “How do you practice after eating all this?”

He snorted another laugh and unraveled his silverware, leaning forward again to cut up your pancakes. You lifted your gaze to watch him as he did this, sleeves rolled up on his arms and eyes concentrated on his task. After finishing with the pancakes, and taking half for himself, he answered your question vaguely.

“Intensely.” His reply caused you to frown slightly and you were grateful for his habit of avoiding eye contact so he didn’t see the pity in your gaze.

It was no secret to anyone, and especially to you, that your sport was a tough one with intense practice and overall lifestyle. You’d spent more time than you’d admit worrying about the health of other kids you trained with and that included Sunghoon, who always seemed to be working ten times as hard as everybody else.

“How about once a week?”

“What?” He looked confused at your words and paused mid bite of his scrambled eggs, eyeing you with a question in his gaze.

“Once a week we eat here.” You explained, awkwardly toying with a piece of bacon in front of you. “Like… together.”

His silence was driving you crazy and you felt your heart rate increasing with each second that he didn’t respond to you, even with a rejection laugh or an awkward denial at your attempt to get closer. You reminded yourself that this was for the sake of winning and spared him a glance. He was watching you with a familiar smirk and you sighed softly.

“I knew you liked me princess.”

——

A few days had passed since the start of your new weekly ritual with Sunghoon, days full of practice and studying the demo video the two of you had scrapped together the week prior. You were watching it now and even though it was messy and unpolished, you felt semi proud at the way the two of you looked on the ice together.

Picturing it with more practice, the right facial expression and some competition level costumes and you were starting to understand why this was something people were looking forward to. And they definitely were.

Proven by the way a newspaper was smacked onto the ice infront of you, causing you to jump slightly before lowering the iPad and glancing at it to see a poorly edited photo of you and Sunghoon on the cover. You glared down at the paper and the latter mentioned laughed from above you.

“We’re the talk of the town.” You could hear the smile on his face and you pushed the paper away from you.

“I’m pretty sure we have actual photos together.” You mumbled. “Why did they edit it like that?”

You looked up in time to see him shrug and to also take in his attire. He was wearing a form fighting black turtleneck T-shirt that was tucked into his usual sport pants. Your gaze went down to his white gloves and he took notice of your stare, wiggling his fingers mockingly.

“Go change.” You frowned, standing up to reveal your similar outfit, only your shirt was white and your gloves were black, perfectly matching his in opposite colors.

He stared down at you with an annoyed expression and for a second you considered pushing him backwards on his skates, not liking that the toe of yours were nearly touching his. You decided against it at the thought he might trip and fall.

“Less talking, more practice.” You looked over at the new voice to see your coach, her hair messy from the snow outside as she unraveled her red scarf from around her neck. “Oh don’t you two look cute.“

You groaned at her comment referring to your matching outfits, turning and skating away from Sunghoon and over to where she was sitting along the sidelines. You vaguely heard the sound of his skates following behind you and you noted his lack of comment at her teasing remark.

“Did you see this?” You turned the paper towards her direction and she looked up in question, eyes brightening when she caught sight of what you were holding.

“Oh it’s wonderful.” She chirped out and you glanced back at Sunghoon, who mirrored your look of confusion. “It’s even better than I expected.”

“So you knew about it?” Sunghoon voice was closer than you expected it to be and you almost turned around and shoved him away before remembering your coach’s frantic need for you two to cooperate, and your deal made the other night. Still you weren’t quite used to his casual presence yet.

“Knew about it? I asked for it.” She explained and you gave her an incredulous look, shifting your eyes to the photo and bold headline.

Directly above the edited photo of the both of you, adorning crowns and a few photoshopped hearts between you was the large capital words, ‘ICE ROYALTY! ROMANCE ON ICE… AND OFF?’

You let a few beats pass as you stared at the cover, letting her get the read on your feelings towards the situation. “Why on earth would you do that?”

Sunghoon was clearing his throat behind you and you were grateful that he was seemingly going to add his two cents in, in agreement against the article. “I mean… it gets people curious.”

Your mouth parted and you spun around to face him, this time when your skates bumped into eachother you did push him slightly backwards. He seemed to be expecting it and glided a few inches away from you easily, his relaxed expression only adding to your annoyance.

“In what world do we need rumors and idiocy to win this?” You spat at him and his lip turned down for just a second before his eyebrows hardened. “We should be practicing not standing here talking about stupid fake headlines.”

“Oh but you seem pretty content storming out of practice whenever you get a little bit frustrated.” He spat back at you and you faltered for just a second, not expecting such anger directed back towards you. Overwhelmed, your mind shot straight to defense.

“Maybe because you’re impossible to be around.” You hissed towards him, fist clenched at your side. You both fell quiet and you shut your eyes for a second, willing him to say something back so your impulsive words weren’t left hanging in the cold air between you.

“That’s enough.” Your coach’s voice sounded tired but firm and you kept your eyes shut, regret seeping into your skin. You didn’t want to see his expression, regardless if it was hatred or hurt. “No practice for a few days, go home early.”

——

Not being on the ice was making your skin itch and your head feel like it was floating ten feet away from your body on a thin rope. You were thankful for the snow falling outside, accompanying you on cold walks and slightly keeping you grounded. It wasn’t often you had a break from practice and maybe there was times where this was all you wanted, but something felt heavy and wrong about the way things had occurred.

You felt even worse about what you had said to Sunghoon because you had meant it. Maybe not in the way he took, as a personal hit at his character, but definitely in the way that your competitive and insecure nature had crafted up your whole life.

It was almost impossible to be calm and in the right headset with somebody who seemed to be relaxed and carefree despite living the same life as you, you who could barely get through the day without multiple stress driven outburst.

Especially now, standing outside the diner, you realized how much better of a person he was than you. If he had said those words to you, you wouldn’t have shown up tonight. Maybe you would have even begged for a new partner or dramatically switched training halls.

But as you stood wrapped tightly in a thick jacket and a scarf, shaking from the cold and dark walk over here, you stared at the side of his face through the foggy window and took a deep guilty breath.

The entrance bell ringing as you pushed open the frosty door seemed louder than normal and so did the silence that screamed between the two of you as you sat down across from him. He didn’t look at you as you approached and for a moment you wondered if he only came to see if you would.

Then the waitress was circling around and placing a hot drink in front of you, offering you a small smile and a head nod. You managed a confused smile back at her but raised an eyebrow at the drink you didn’t order.

“It’s hot chocolate.” Sunghoon spoke and your eyes widened, shooting up towards him. He was watching you with a careful expression. “It’s cold and you don’t drink coffee.”

You wondered how he knew that about you, when he had observed you enough to have a fact that small stored away. You didn’t voice your confusion, giving him a small nod and taking off your gloves so you could wrap your cold hands around the warm mug.

“I can pull myself out of the competition.” You stopped mid sip as he started to speak, avoiding eye contact with you and fiddling with this thread of his fingerless mittens. “I guess I didn’t realize how hard of a time you were having.”

“I’m not.” You rushed out, immediately flushing at the loud volume of your voice. He looked shocked at your words, watching as you set down the mug carefully and put your elbows on the table. “I’m not having a hard time… well not because of you atleast. I shouldn’t have said that.”

He didn’t say anything for a bit and you were curious what he was thinking about, not for the first time you found yourself wishing he was not so nice, then maybe he’d have a burst of anger and lay everything on you. You wanted him to call you spoiled or rude, anything other than that soft look he was giving you.

“I’ve always had a hard time.” You don’t know where it came from, the sudden personal statement causing him to tilt his head in the terrible, genuinely curious way that he did. You felt an overwhelming sense that if you didn’t tell him something about you right now, that would be it.

“With me?” His eyebrow cocked and yours furrowed.

“No… or yes.” His lip quirked downwards and you hurried to finish your sentence before a repeat of the other day occurred. “Not because of you but because of me. Because I’m jealous of you and how good you are at everything.”

He seemed to take this in for a second before a scoff escaped his lips, the smile on his face letting you know it was semi lighthearted.

“You’re jealous of me?” His shock was genuine and he leaned back in the booth and sucked a breath in through his teeth. The loud hissing sound made you wince. “And all this time I’ve thought the same about you.”

“Oh whatever.” You mumbled, both not believing what he was saying and not feeling comfortable at the unfamiliarity of the back and forth compliment.

“I mean it.“ Something in the way Sunghoon said it made you want to believe him. “You’re like a natural out there. Living up to your title, if I do say so myself.”

“It doesn’t feel natural, and don’t forget who got the title first.” You felt a bit childish to be refusing his attempt at being civil, nice even, but that nasty insecure part of you wouldn’t allow you to take any compliments from him.

“Well I was excited to be paired with you.” He raised his shoulders in a shrug and you watched him carefully from under your eyelashes. He smiled at you awkwardly when you didn’t immediately respond and your lip jutted out into a pout.

“I’m sorry Sunghoon.” The words felt weighted and empty as you forced them out but you truly meant what you were saying and you hoped he could see that beneath your initial tone. He looked slightly taken back at the use of his first name.

Luckily, he nodded at you and leaned forward on his elbows again, pushing your mug back towards you with two steady fingers. You watched his hand as they came closer to your side of the table, feeling a bit embarrassed when the mug stopped infront of you, insinuating he wanted you to finish the warm liquid.

After a beat you glanced up at him and immediately dropped your gaze back down to the steamy cup at the smirk on his face, his fingers lingering for just a moment before retracting back to under the booth.

“Finish, we have work to do.”

——

“Exactly! That’s exactly it right there.” Sunghoon’s excited words barely registered to you over the sound of your loud panting.

You were leaned over, elbows on your knees and eyes closed shut in an attempt to catch your breath. You’d been going at it relentlessly the last few days, nearly perfecting the basic moves but still needing to add the flare the judges would be looking for.

Sunghoon and you had been getting along for the most part, small spurts of bickering and burst of frustration due to complicated moves but nobody has stormed out or lost any fingers, so it was a win in your book.

“Again.” He was chiming from a few feet away and you glared up at him from behind your sweaty bangs causing him to laugh before assuming his position on the floor.

You were slowly becoming used to it now, the close proximity, the faux romance on your expressions. You were a professional and that’s all this truly was, work. But you were feeling slightly childish about the way you couldn’t get use to his hands on you.

Telling yourself it was just awkwardness, maybe even lingering animosity you were holding that made your stomach turn every time his big hand wrapped it’s way around some part of you, you laid on the ice a few feet away from him.

You routinely rolled over top of him, movements robotic as you avoided looking down at him and he tensed slightly.

When it was his turn to do the same, he paused above you and you frowned, waiting for him to move off of you so you could ease into the next portion.

Instead he stayed in place, caging you in as he balanced himself on his forearms. For a second you thought about the core strength it’d require to hold a plank on ice before shaking your head and internally scolding yourself.

“You’re distracted.” He was saying above you and you felt his breath on your cheek, strongly opposing the cold ice your other one was pressed against. His voice was low and telling, not a question.

“No I’m not.” You scoffed, or atleast the best you could considering if you took a deep inhale your chest would press against his. “Maybe you’re distracted.”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you looked at him, still refusing to turn your head incase your noses touched. He was looking down at you intensely however and your stomach flipped again.

“I am.” His voice was firm but you looked at him just in time to see his eyes awkwardly shoot around your face, hesitation in his gaze.

You weren’t fully sure what he was implying and you definitely weren’t going to reply without him outright saying that it was you he was distracted by, the presumed humiliation making you furrow your eyebrows.

The thought crossed your mind that he was making fun of you, that he had someone noticed how hard it was for you to focus around him and was trying to bait a confession out of you.

You turned your head finally, not flinching at the way his nose bumped against yours or the sharp inhale he took at the sudden contact. You held his gaze for just a few seconds before starting to speak.

“Get off me Park.”

He faltered for a second like he wasn’t expecting that sort of response, body completely locking above yours before quickly rolling over onto his back next to you and awkwardly sitting up.

“I’m sorry.” He rushed out and you finally took a big breath before also sitting up and avoiding looking at him. He watched as you stood completely and you felt his eyes on you. “I don’t know why I said that Y/N.”

“It’s not a big deal.” You lied smoothly, keeping your voice steady and shrugging softly as you wiped off the ice shavings that was stuck on your leggings. He was still watching you and you heard him sigh in embarrassment.

“From the start?” He eventually muttered and you glanced over at him, shaking your head.

“I have to head out actually.” You tried to keep your tone casual but he looked pained, obviously not falling for your excuse and realizing you were leaving because of what he said. “First thing tomorrow?”

He didn’t say anything but you knew he had heard you and started to skate off the ice, face flushing with awkwardness as you finally took a breath and accessed what had just happened.

If you weren’t mistaken and he wasn’t pulling some sick joke on you, which judging by his mortified reaction you highly doubted that, Park Sunghoon had just attempted to make a pass at you.

Park Sunghoon who, for the better part of your life, had done nothing but drive you absolutely crazy with anger and jealousy. The same boy who thought it was funny to tie your laces together and watch videos of your failed jumps on the waiting rooms big screen.

You were absolutely sickened by the idea of it and even worse, the fact that the red painting your cheeks was not because of anger.

Storming out from the hall into the snowy night, your stomach was twisting again with what you now fully understood was not nauseation.

It was the stone cold realization that you liked Park Sunghoon.

—-

You hadn’t exaggerated on your call for early practice the next day, entering the hall before the sun had even risen yet.

It didn’t help you’d spend the entire night tossing and turning and screaming into your pillow as you replayed the scenario in your head over and over, analyzing every awkward second of silence or quirk of his eyebrows.

You’d come to the conclusion, at some point during your fourth hour of restlessness, that Sunghoon hadn’t been joking and he was absolutely attempting to flirt with you or at least was testing the waters.

This realization was nothing short of crippling and you almost considered not coming in today, making faking a cough or a sore throat. But the clock was ticking on your time to practice before the competition and with this added distraction, you needed all the time you could get.

So it was driving you a bit insane as the second hour passed and Sunghoon still hadn’t arrived to practice. You hadn’t entered the rink yet, anxiously sitting in the locker room with your skates half tied as you rocked your knees back and forth.

You imagined he would be embarrassed, maybe he hadn’t even thought before he spoke and it came across wrong, but for him to not show up at all was something you couldn’t accept.

Before another minute of waiting could pass you were pulling your phone out and doing something you’ve, somehow, never done before and texting him.

y/n : After all this and you aren’t going to show up? I don’t know about you but this is really important to me and I’m sick of the childishness.

You sent the message before you considered how harsh it was, leaning forward and groaning as your forehead hit your knee. Your phone was clutched to your chest as you waited for the buzz to signal he responded.

It never came and you felt your heart sink to your stomach, smushing its way past the irritation and anger you’d been accumulating the past hour.

You flung your skates off with a yell, wincing internally at the loud echoed bang of them hitting the metal seats that rang throughout the room. Standing swiftly, you stuffed them into your locker and slammed it shut before turning on your heel and going to leave.

In your fury driven urgency to get outside you didn’t peer around the corner before rounding it, resulting in you falling back against the floor as you smacked roughly into somebody approaching at the same time.

You let out another loud groan as you hit the floor, head striking the ground that was luckily covered in rubber mats designed for your skates blades. Still, a wave of pain washed over you at the force in which you fell.

“Fuck.” To make matters worse, you immediately registered as he spoke that it was Sunghoon you’d smacked into. He was leaning down to check you, a hand jutted out in an attempt to help you up. “I’m so sorry I’m late, something came up and-“

“I don’t care.” You cut him off in a snap causing his face to drop in guilt. You ignored his outstretched hand and pushed yourself to a standing position. “I’m leaving.”

“Y/N, I really am telling the truth.” He rushed out, eyes big and desperate. You glared at him and tried to move down the exit hall again, behind stopped by his large frame as he stepped sideways in your way.

“Whatever it is I can’t imagine it could be more important than practice.” You felt the irony in your words as you spoke them, wanting to wince at how similar you sounded to your mother but you were acting on anger.

He seemed to realize this now, deflating with a sigh and staring down at you with his sharp eyebrows pulled to the center of his forehead.

“Let me show you.”

——

You weren’t exactly sure how he had managed to get you here considering how hell bent you’d been on avoiding him or strictly practicing, nothing in between.

But somehow, half an hour later, and you were sat frowning in his passenger seat. Your arms were crossed in irritation and you were stiff and tight in the seat, resisting the urge to look around and analyze his car.

Truthfully you hadn’t even realized he knew how to drive, although it suddenly made sense considering you’d never seen a parent of his at the rink and he always was there at odd hours of the night without the cold bitten cheeks you typically had.

Sunghoon had a strong point when he said you didn’t know anything about each other, you knew it was truthful when he had said it but it was weighing on you now as you looked over at him as he drove.

He looked nervous, shoulders higher and more tense than they usually were but he was sat comfortably in his seat, only one hand on the steering wheel like he’d been driving for a long time. You wondered when he had learned, who had taught him or if maybe he’d taught himself.

You’d never thought of Sunghoon as lonely. He was always bouncing around competitions with a bright smile, chatting with judges and opponents and even with your own mother a few times.

You remember being 15, face red and puffy from the tears you’d shed after she’d given you a strict scolding in the bathroom after a low scale contest. He had approached afterwards, ready to throw some quick jabs and comments your way before seeing the look on your face.

Instead he had struck a conversation with her, making funny faces at you over her turned shoulder as she spoke in her familiar harsh tone. You remember laughing into your glove and then watching him as he walked away, trying to catch sight of his mom.

He seemed to know how to handle strict parents so you were curious if he was raised similarly, but you were just left confused as he left the rink by himself.

“See that right there,” Your mother had spoken in a low voice, leaning towards you on the bench. “Some parents don’t even show up to these things, you should be more grateful.”

You couldn’t stop thinking about that now as you pulled into a parking lot, blue hour was settling in now as the afternoon bled on. The drive was just over an hour but it was getting darker sooner in the day as you went deeper into the winter.

He sucked in a breath and you felt him look over at you like he was waiting for you to say something about where you were. You didn’t but you turned your head to meet his gaze, raising an eyebrow for an explanation.

It looked like he was considering giving you one for a second and then he changed his mind, taking his keys and getting out of the car. You watched him circle around to your side, opening your door for you and waiting for you to step out.

You silently followed him into the building, passing by a reception desk with a large man who gave Sunghoon a smile and a nod. You stared at his comfortable shoulders as he walked through the winding hallways with ease, clearly familiar with them.

The building resembled a hospital, dull colors and the buzzing of LED lights making your head spin slightly but the similarities between the people in the rooms you were passing told you what it truly was.

Sunghoon stopped infront of a room with a closed door and looked over at you, again like he was expecting you to speak. You didn’t and he eventually sighed and turned to open the door after a beat.

“Sunghoon? Is that you?” You stayed by the door, letting it close softly behind you, as he walked into the room and pulled back a privacy curtain that was hanging from a rod on the ceiling. You froze in place at the sight of the older woman in the bed, machines hooked around her with dull beeps and chimes.

“Yeah Nana.” His voice was lower than you’d heard it before and your eyes went to him as he softly lowered himself to sit on her bed. He glanced at you and waved a hand, signaling for you to come closer.

For a second you wanted to shake your head, to back track out of the room and wait for him down the hall. You didn’t understand why he would take you here, why he would show you this part of his life or what this meant.

But you let your feet fall forward and stepped into her view, breath catching when he outstretched a hand to grab your wrist and pull you closer at a faster pace. The feeling of his skin against yours combined with her questioning gaze made your face flush.

“Oh.” Her mouth parted in shock and you bowed your head slightly with a smile in greeting, not fully trusting yourself to speak. “You must be Y/N.”

Your eyes widened and you looked towards Sunghoon who had a similar expression, hanging his head so he didn’t have to meet your eye.

“You’ve heard about me?” You spoke softly, a louder volume feeling intrusive in the quiet room. The lights were dimmed low and the curtains were drawn giving the space a warm calm atmosphere.

“Oh he doesn’t shut up about you.” She was smiling at you and reaching out a shaky hand for you to take. You went to lift your left hand and felt the weight of Sunghoon’s on your wrist still, faltering and looking at him.

He looked embarrassed and confused, like he hadn’t even realized he was still holding onto you. He went to remove his grip but you twisted your hand and pulled his into yours, squeezing it tightly. You gave her your free hand instead.

It was a bit jarring to you and out of your element and you felt a bit of panic building in your throat. Being here was strange and Sunghoon being beside you was every stranger.

The weirdest part of all was the absolute care and adoration on this woman’s face, a strange you’d never seen before holding your hand with such delicacy. You felt yourself tear up slightly thinking how nice it must’ve been to grow up with such a person in your life.

You glanced at Sunghoon at this thought, you were still standing beside the bed holding both their hands while he sat and he was already looking at you. He seemed slightly taken back by your glossy eyes but he smiled at you warmly like he understood the reasoning.

And you were realizing now that he did.

It wasn’t the first time it had occurred to you that he was lonely but it was definitely the first time you really processed it. Maybe it was this new found care you had for him, this pull at your heart when you thought back to the boy with nobody to see his competition performances.

“Why are you back here sweetheart.” Sunghoon’s grandmas soft voice was speaking again and you glanced over at her, avoiding his eye contact when you felt his thumb rub the back of your hand.

You suddenly realized this was why he was late, obviously held up in a visit or maybe a medical emergency. Guilt hit you as you remembered your harsh tone and processed the fact he had driven the hour to practice and then turned around and brought you back here.

“I thought it was probably time the two of you met.” He lied naturally, squeezing your hand as if he was signaling for you to go along with it. You didn’t say anything, too busy wondering what all she knew about you, how long had you been a subject of conversation between the two.

You can’t imagine all the conversations were pleasant but her eyes held absolutely no sign of disdain or malice.

“You two must be so busy.” The soft croak in her voice made your stomach hurt and she shakily squeezed your hand causing you to do the same to Sunghoon’s in a ripple effect. You realized she was looking at you for a response.

“It isn’t too bad.” You assured her, smiling softly and you faintly heard Sunghoon scoff from beside you. You glared quickly at him and he lifted his free hand in mock surrender.

“I know it’s tiring.” His grandma was continuing and you looked back over at her, her eyebrows turning inwards. Her expression was shockingly similar to his and you let a heavy silence fall between the three of you.

You were once again wondering what type of things they talked about, if she was looking pained at the thought of her grandsons tiring lifestyle or if he had mentioned something about you and your own strict regimen.

It didn’t feel like the time to ask questions and you especially didn’t think you had the right to curiosity.

You’d shown Sunghoon a lot of coldness in the past few days despite his multiple attempts to get closer, and through that all he still had brought you to such an intimate personal place.

“I won’t keep you long.” Sunghoon and his grandma had been having a low voiced conversation while you were deep in thought but she was louder now, catching your attention and giving you a gentle knowing look.

You squeezed her hand one final time as a goodbye, not fully trusting yourself or your voice. Sunghoon was standing then, shoulder bumping against yours and you were overwhelming aware of the fact he was still holding your hand.

You welcomed it, feeling cold and bitter when the door opened to reveal the harsh white of the nursing homes lights that sharply contrasted Mrs. Parks yellow tinted room.

Without thinking you were pulling his arm closer, so your left hand was wrapped in his and your right arm was holding his sleeve against your chest, practically hugging his arm as you walked.

If the sudden closeness shocked him he didn’t show it, not making a move to remove you even as you passed back through the lobby and out the front doors.

It was darkening now despite it barely being 5pm, the short light of winter days making you colder than you’d ever been. The irony of the princess of the ice saying that didn’t miss you.

He paused when you reached his car and you felt him look at you. He was obviously trying to get a gauge of what you wanted to do considering you were glued to his side. You let him go reluctantly and walked swiftly to the passenger side before pulling yourself up into the car.

He was sitting down by the time you pulled your seatbelt on, starting the engine but not making any move to drive or fully situate himself. You imagined he was waiting for you to say something again and this time you didn’t want to disappoint him.

“She’s nice.” You felt pathetic as you spoke the words, nice not beginning to describe the situation or how you felt but you fell short like always when it came to affection.

Luckily he seemed to know exactly what you meant, something he did a lot you were realizing. He seemed to know when you were truly mad versus just tired and frustrated, he knew your distaste for coffee and he knew how to make you laugh despite your moms scolding.

You watched him as he nodded and tried to contain a fond smile for his grandma, biting his lip softly and forming a small dimple on his cheek.

“Do you come here a lot?” You were talking again and this seemed to take him off guard for just a second before he was neutralizing his expression like he was worried he’d scare you off.

“Everyday.” He was humming and leaning his head back against the seat, turning it lazily to look over at you. Your eyes followed up his jaw to his eyes just in time to see him quirk an eyebrow. “If I can.”

“And you talk about me?”

He snorted a laugh at your bluntness and the suggestion behind your words, eyes squeezing shut in a chuckle. You found yourself almost entranced studying his features.

“Not all the time princess.” The familiar pet name caused a similar reaction to normal, blood surging and stomach turning. You tried to ignore the fact it wasn’t driven by anger like it typically was, something much heavier replacing it now.

“But sometimes?” You pressed forward and leaned your elbow onto the middle console as the leather creaked under the weight. The noise caused his eyes to snap open and look at you, realizing you were closer now as you leaned in his space.

He hummed again and his eyes tracked down your face, similarly to the way you were studying him. “Yeah, sometimes.”

You didn’t say anything, a bit lost for words now that he was looking at you. It had never passed by you that he was handsome, probably the most striking person you’d ever seen in your life but without the usual cloud of anger fogging your mind, he was especially alluring.

“What do you say?” You voice came out as a whisper, almost falling forward from how far you were leaning on your elbows. He wasn’t moving in his seat, watching you unconsciously come closer with tired eyes.

He shrugged and lifted an eyebrow, hand falling forward on the middle console as he let a finger unravel and skim across your forearm.

“What do you say Sunghoon.” You ignored the goosebumps that his touch caused, questioning him further. You almost didn’t care about his answer anymore, you just wanted to hear him talk again.

His gaze hardened at the use of his first name, shifting in his seat but not turning his body to face yours. He kept his head turned towards you however, letting your breath fan his face every time you took a shaky exhale.

“Nothing bad.” He was speaking in a low tone, not fully paying attention to the conversation anymore.

“I want to hear though.”

“I wanna kiss you.” He tensed for a second as the words found their way out of his mouth without him meaning for them to. His shoulders relaxed seeing the way your mouth parted in shock.

You felt like a cold tidal wave had hit you as he spoke, face heating up and then more so when his eyes fell towards your open mouth.

A large part of you instinctively wanted to shut him down, wanted to lean back in your seat and tell him to start the car and prepare for the awkward trip back to the training center.

The other part of you liked the way he looked in a darkening car and less shallowly, liked how he smiled at you when you held his grandmas hand despite you letting out your frustration on him only hours earlier.

“That’s what you and your nana talk about?” You smiled at him as you spoke, a teasing tilt in your voice. Your smile only widened when he let out a breathy laugh and pressed his forehead against yours.

“If I kiss you right now will it ruin everything.” He was whispering and you were suddenly aware of how silent it was in the car, wishing for a low buzzing radio to fill the gaps.

“It might.” You whispered back to him and you felt him raise his eyebrows against yours causing your lips to jut out in a pout.

You felt his fingers dancing along your forearm again and you felt the sudden urge to hold his hand again.

“After we win the competition I’ll kiss you.” He sounded slightly pained in his words but you heard that familiar competitive fire that was typically directed towards you.

“Or you could do it now.” You felt slightly pathetic at the whine in your voice and he made it even worse by smiling at the sound of it.

“If I do it now we might not make it home.” He had a slight groan to his voice and your stomach flipped again.

You hastily shifted your arm off the middle console to fumble around for his hand, opting for wrapping your grip around his wrist again. He glanced down at it for a second before looking back up at you.

Slightly embarrassed, you felt your cheeks heating up at your actions but the warmth of his smooth skin was addicting now that you’d actually felt it outside of practice with skin tight clothes. Paired with his suggestive words and you were a goner when it came to common sense.

“How good is your self restraint?” You eventually opted for another teasing comment, not quite sure you were charming enough to directly respond to his comment without embarrassing yourself.

“When it comes to you?” His eyes flashed with something and you briefly wondered how long he’d been thinking about this or if it was as recent of a development as it was for you. “Terrible.”

“I want to… kiss you too.” You almost face palmed at your own words, how utterly stupid and childish they sounded. He had to have figured you didn’t know how to do this, he’d only spent your entire life seeing how busy you constantly were.

He smiled at you, a genuine toothy smile that made you want to scream in embarrassment. Luckily he didn’t seem to be making fun of you and was just genuinely amused by your awkward comment.

And he was. He liked seeing sides of you he’d only caught in passing, he liked that you were teasing back with him and not pulling away or snapping into fight mode at his presence. He especially liked the way your small hand was gripping tightly onto his wrist like you were so desperate to touch him, he wasn’t allowed to remove it for even a minute.

“We’ve gotta head back princess.” You could tell by the way he said that it was his final decision but you relished in the impatience in his eyes.

He leaned back in his seat again, leaving you leaned over the console still and short of breath before flopping back against the leather and waiting for him to pull out of the parking lot.

A few seconds of silence passed and you looked at him in question, raising an eyebrow at the fact he was looking at you in waiting. You followed the way his eyes looked down and saw his hand outstretched towards you.

You definitely were bright red now, looking away but taking his hand in yours as he finally started the drive back home.

—

He’d pulled up to the center after an hour of silence and shy hand squeezes. You were thankful for his silence, more than anything needing a bit of time to think about what had happened in the past few days.

It didn’t seem like it was weighing on him as much, he seemed nervous and excited but not as much thrown off as you felt. You wondered if there was a reasoning behind that or if you he was just really good at pretending to be casual.

You were terrible at being casual, further proved by the way you’re nearly choked as his hand found it’s way to the small of your back while leading you through the parking lot and into the building.

A week ago you would have thrown him off of you and said something about how you already knew the way in and didn’t need him to show you.

You thought about it for a second, just a small second, when you passed through the lobby and your coach came into view. She was practically blowing smoke as she caught sight of the two of you and started to shake her head in anger.

“Oh so now you show up.” She spat and you froze in place, step faltering at the aggressive way she was approaching. “You think you can just skip a whole entire afternoon of practice just because you’ve gotten some good scores in your career.”

Your frown was deepening and you felt the childish urge to curl in on yourself. You’d been in such a happiness cloud since this morning and you felt like you’d been pushed off a sharp cliff back into reality.

And she was absolutely right. It was stupid to skip practice even if it proved to be extremely important and beneficial to you.

“Watch what you say.” Sunghoon was spitting back at her and taking a small step forward, his hand sliding from your back to rest on your waist. Her eyes followed the movement but you couldn’t read her expression.

“Distracted.” She spat the single word, knowing the impact of it. Knowing that was the one thing you were not supposed to be, absolutely never allowed to be. “You’re fucking distracted.”

“And so what if she is.” You’d never heard Sunghoon so angry and you wanted to grab his shoulder and pull him back, wanted to calm him down so he didn’t get reprimanded too. “She’s spent everyday of her entire life focused on one thing, it was barely a few hours.”

“A few hours turns into more.” She was practically screeching now and a few other skaters were sending you apologetic glances and scurrying away. “This is a distraction”

You felt tears well up as she gestured between the two of you, a look of anger and disgust on her face.

“Aren’t you the one who paid for this.” You were confused what Sunghoon was referring to before you remembered the news article she had ordered. A surge of anger flashed through you at the reminder, the pure hypocrisy in what she was saying.

She could spin your love life however she pleased when it was beneficial to her and her career overview but forbids you from actually spending any time with anybody other than the ice.

You didn’t want to listen to her anymore, squeezing Sunghoon’s arm in an attempt to draw his attention away and calm him down. He didn’t look at you for a second, keeping his hard glare locked on her.

She wasn’t his coach so there wasn’t anything she could directly do to punish him. Nothing besides her ability to pull you from the pair skate or request a different partner for you, severely hurting your chances of winning and his yearly average.

“I told you about this.” Her voice was nearly a whisper with the way she hissed it through her clenched teeth. You thought she was talking to you for a second but she was holding Sunghoon’s gaze tightly.

Your hand fell from his arm in confusion, not understanding what she was referring to.

“I don’t give a fuck what you told me.” He spat back and took a small step back towards you again.

You took a step to the side before you even realized you were moving away from him, only processing it when he turned to look at you with a hurt expression. You felt guilty but something about the unknown of their words was leaving a heavy pit in your stomach.

“Y/N, we can talk about this later…. Alone.” Your coach was sighing and despite your anger with her you were glad she knew when to remove herself from a situation.

You held Sunghoon’s gaze as she walked off, presumably leaving the center. He spared a quick glance in her direction to make sure she was gone before looking back at you with that same expression.

“What’s wrong.” His voice was weak and confused, a sharp contrast to the way he was just throwing daggers at Suzy.

“What is she talking about?”

He seemed thrown off for a second, taking a second to think before understanding passed over his face. He took a step towards you, a hand jutted out in your direction. Your lips formed a frown but you took his hand and waited for him to speak.

“At the beginning of the season,” He cleared his throat and your stomach turned with nerves. Maybe she had instructed him to flirt with you, to attempt closeness with you for a better performance. “Before she officially picked me, she sat me down and told me I needed to keep my feelings out of it.”

“What feelings?” You shook your head in confusion, still not fully understanding. “Like with the way we fight? That doesn’t make any sense, wouldn’t she be happy to see us civil then?”

“It wasn’t about that.” He sighed and you watched his cheeks slowly redden as his eyes anxiously shifted to avoid looking at you. “She said she could tell I… was into you and she didn’t want me to become something you focused on outside of being your skate partner.”

You pondered the thought of what he was saying for a few beats of silence, almost feeling more confused at the explanation. If you were correct then he seemed to be insinuating existing feelings towards you, and enough for other people to notice.

“This isn’t how I wanted this to happen.” He sighed again and you felt his hand uncomfortably flex in yours. “All these years of working up the nerve I figured it would be some big romantic gesture.”

He was telling a joke but his voice lacked all humor, a hint of anger seeping in like his plans had been ruined.

“What the hell are you talking about Sunghoon.” Your voice was breathy and slightly irritated, sick of everybody’s vague wordings. “You sound like you’re inlove with me or something.”

Your scoff trailed off when he didn’t say anything. You had expected him to laugh at the thought, say a teasing remark or anything at all. He stopped looking around and watched you with a strange expression, like he was waiting for you to piece things together.

You felt your mouth parting softly and you slowly dropped his hands, he didn’t try to grab yours again and gave you your space as you tried to process what he was seemingly saying.

Park Sunghoon seemed to be insinuating, or atleast not denying the fact, that he was inlove with you and had been for more than a few years.

The thought of this made you feel sick and dizzy and you almost grabbed him for support as your knees weakened.

You weren’t quite sure if it was a good sick or a bad sick. On one hand you were excited, your newly discovered liking towards him and desperation to explore this new territory driving forward the giddiness you felt at the thought of him liking you back.

On the other hand you felt disgusted. Both at yourself for missing the signs, maybe spending years hurting him with your rude comments and refusal to learn anything about him. But also at him for not telling you or even hinting it from what you could see, half the fights you’d gotten in throughout the years had been started by him.

“Since when?” Your voice came out stern and his eyes creased at the way your face scrunched up in confusion and anger.

He was shaking his head and taking a step towards you, immediately backtracking when he realized he had done so. You were watching him and waiting for a response that you weren’t sure was coming considering he was starting to look pained at the thought of telling you.

“It doesn’t matter.” He proved you right as he continued to shake his head. “It’s not a distraction, you only knew because I fucked up the other day at practice.”

“That was a fuck up?” You scoffed at him, anger making you ignore the fact that he was right and you yourself had treated it like he made a mistake.

“It shouldn’t have happened like that. I waited all this time it was selfish for me to do it now, I don’t know why I did.” He was trying to explain himself but it was just confusing you further. “I just couldn’t help myself, I don’t know, being around you like this is making me feel crazy.”

He was talking like a lovesick teenager and your stomach was lurching at the fact that might just be the case.

You don’t understand how he hid it so well, or even when he had started to realize his feelings and plan to keep them a secret. Why would he put himself through such a thing for so long and then risk it all by accepting to be your partner.

A wave of guilt washed over you again as you raked through all your memories with Sunghoon with this new added knowledge. He must’ve been so hurt while pretending like he didn’t care that you were so mean to eachother.

“Please tell me since when.” You tried to soften your voice, your anger not even directed at him in the first place just the circumstance.

“I don’t know.” His voice broke when he said it like it was a question he’d asked himself a dozen times. He took a big breath and deflated. “Probably since the first time I saw you with your little pink skates, who knows.”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds and were suddenly hyper aware that you were having this conversation in the middle of the lobby, tears brewing in your eyes as your hands started to shake.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Sunghoon’s voice was desperate and earnest, like he felt guilty for falling inlove with you which made you feel ten times worse about the whole situation.

“Will you take me home?” You looked up at him with wet eyelashes just in time to see shock pass over his face. He clearly wasn’t expecting such a casual conversation change, especially one that entailed you spending more time alone together today.

Still, he softened as he looked at you and nodded his head slowly like he was waiting for you to change your mind. You both stood still even after his agreement, in a slight daze from the intense emotions you’d been feeling. He nodded again, more to himself this time, and you felt his hand against the small of your back starting to lead you back outside.

Neither of you spoke when you felt the cold air outside and still when he opened the passenger door for you and helped you climb into seat. He watched you for a second before closing the door and circling the car to get into his own spot.

It felt dramatically different in the space than it had only a few hours before, the giggly excited tension replaced with silence and heavy air. You were so out of it you didn’t even notice he didn’t ask for directions to your apartment.

When you realized you’d been driving for a few minutes you were confused, wondering when he had learned the way to your place, before realizing you weren’t heading in the direction you’d normally come from.

You immediately figured he was taking you to his house instead and for some reason you didn’t want to object. Despite being confused and angry and feeling slightly betrayed at this kept secret, you were comfortable and familiar in his presence and almost felt addicted to being around him.

Besides you know that there was nothing this warm and caring waiting for you back home. If your mother was there at all, she was bound to throw a massive fit over you missing practice.

It was worrying to you that you couldn’t find a single piece of care inside of you about missing practice. If anything, your chest was light and airy underneath all the pain and you weren’t sure it’d ever felt this stress free in your life.

You were slowly understanding why you were never given a break, why a day off was unacceptable. Maybe they were fearful you’d fully realize how much better you’d feel without this force of pressure and expectation.

Sunghoon wasn’t the reason you were distracted, at least not from the competition, and once you were able to speak again you wanted him to understand that.

Eventually you were pulling up to an apartment building, similar to yours but slightly on the other side of town. Sunghoon was looking over at you again, waiting for a sign you were ready to get out of the car.

You opened your own door and briefly saw him nod from the corner of your eye, unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping outside back into the bitter air.

You awkwardly followed behind him as he unlocked the main set of doors with a keycard, walking down a long plain hallway until he stopped at a door with a small penguin welcome mat infront of it. He looked at it and then back at you and he seemed pleased at the amusement in your eyes.

When he unlocked the door you were suddenly hit with the fact you were about to see where he lived and quickly wondered who he lived with. You weren’t sure you were ready to hold an awkward conversation with his parents about why you were going in their sons room.

You realized immediately upon walking in, however, that that was not the case at all. The apartment was comfortable but small, far too small to house a family even if he had no siblings. You watched him kick his shoes off into a slot in the empty rack and hang his keys up on the singular hook.

He started down the entrance hallway before stopping when he realized you weren’t following behind him. He looked over his shoulder at you and tensed up at the sad expression on your face.

“What?” The tone of his voice told you that he already knew what you were thinking without you having to say it.

“I didn’t know you lived alone.” You tried to keep the pity out of your words, a casual tone coming off awkward and deliberate.

He scoffed at your attempt and for a moment you were reminded of who exactly you were standing here with, a glimpse of the familiar rival you were more used to startling you slightly.

He didn’t say anything in response, just waving a hand to signal for you to move into the main living space. You followed quickly after removing your shoes, taking in the larger room with widened eyes.

Something about it was very Sunghoon, despite being plain and quiet. The yellow toned lights and CD’s on the coffee table catching your attention as you shuffled into the warm room.

“You seemed out of it.” He was starting from behind you. He didn’t sound close but a chill ran through you at the thought of him watching you. “I didn’t feel right bringing you home alone, I hope that’s okay.”

You turned to look at him and your heart tugged at his sad tired expression. He was looking at you intensely, you figured it must be weird to see you in such a familiar setting. You jutted a hand out in his direction and he looked down at it with surprise.

“I didn’t want to go home.” Your voice was low and soft, the silence of the room outside of the heater running was reminding you of his grandma’s and it felt wrong to have a higher volume.

His head cocked slightly but he took your hand in his, letting out a shaky breath when you squeezed it tightly and pulled on his hand so he’d come closer to you. He was standing far away so your arms were stuck straight out, like he wasn’t sure he was actually allowed to touch you.

You tugged him again and he stumbled closer to you, his big hand instinctively coming to rest on your waist and then falling again in a haste. You frowned at his reaction and then realized he must be feeling confused.

“What are you thinking about?” You kept your voice quiet and soft and he looked down at you with that same pained expression. You let go of his hand and put both of yours flat on his chest, feeling the way his heart beat raced and hiccuped.

You were once again impressed by his ability to mask how he felt, if you weren’t looking at him so intensely or touching him, you’d have no idea he was feeling this upset.

“I don’t know.” He whispered and he sounded honest. His hand hesitatingly went back to your waist, feeling awkward at the way his arms dangled at his sides while you touched him.

“I want to be here.” You felt the sudden urge to reassure him on this despite not being sure if that’s what was bothering him or just the situation in general.

“For how long?” Frustration laced his words and you didn’t understand for a few seconds. First you assumed he meant how long you wanted to stay but you quickly realized he was asking how long you’ve wanted to be around him.

You felt guilt creep up considering you weren’t sure what answer to give him because you weren’t even sure yourself when things had changed for you. You don’t think it was a sudden dramatic realization after he tried to flirt with you like you originally thought.

Thinking back on your life now, Sunghoon and this rivalry has been the most consistent thing you’ve ever known. You’d search for him at competitions and you’d spend weekends thinking about what insults to throw at him next time you saw him.

This could’ve been a childish fued, maybe even bordering on actual dislike sometimes, if it wasn’t for everything else.

You were no stranger to finding him attractive, bitterly acknowledging it every time you saw him. You remember when you were entering your teens and he was shooting up in height and his features were sharpening, scrolling his instagram at the time and scowling at photos of him surrounded by similarly attractive people.

You thought back to staring at his hands in the diner and the fondness you felt watching him juggle an armful of forbidden snacks in that 7/11. A fondness that left you so dazed you had completely forgotten to act as an enemy and rat him out to the coaches.

As hard as it was to admit, even to yourself, you weren’t ice skating because it was your passion. It didn’t get you out of bed in the morning or light a fire under your skin in excitement. You did it because it was what people wanted for you and because you liked to win, you liked how people talked about you when you won.

Sunghoon was a breath of fresh air from the pressure, he never cared if you won or lost, in fact he didn’t want you winning half the time.

He didn’t talk to you like you were a project, a robot prodigy who didn’t have room for love or care and he didn’t walk on eggshells around you like you were some royal princess needing only the best treatment.

You wouldn’t sit here and tell Sunghoon you knew how he’s felt all these years, you wouldn’t lie and say you’d been pining over him too and it has always been set in stone for you but a large part of you feels like maybe you knew it all along.

“I can’t say.” You answered honestly even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “But I am here now Sunghoon.”

You felt his hands tensing against your sides, instinctively squeezing like he was worried you’d disappear now. You wanted to ask him the things you should have years ago, you wanted to know why he lived alone and how long he’s come back to this empty room after hours of hard practice.

You felt guilty again for missing the signs. His familiarity at a random diner, clearly frequently there alone. Always being at the rink at random times like nobody was expecting him home or worried he was overworking himself.

Another part of you was relieved now, holding this knowledge tightly with the determination to change this and be there for him regardless if you yourself were considering not returning to the ice.

“I should’ve told you sooner.” He was saying and shaking his head. It was strange seeing him so self deprecating.

“You told me now.” You affirmed and one of your hands slid up his chest to hold his face, making him look at you and see the sincerity in your eyes. “I know now and I didn’t go anywhere.”

He nodded and you were worried he was going to cry, eyes shaking as he looked down at you and leaned into your touch against his cheek.

So you did the one thing you could think of, the thing you were practically craving only a few hours earlier, and you surged forward on your toes to kiss him.

He was taken back by your sudden proximity, tensing up when he felt your lips against his and then more so when you rocked back onto your flat feet and awkwardly waited for him to say something.

His mouth parted a few times like he was going to speak but after a second or two passed his eyes were hardening with that familiar determination and he was kissing you.

Kissing you with a desperation of somebody who’d been thinking about it for a long time, hands sliding behind your back to pull you closer and tighter against him.

You smiled against him, his mouth sliding against yours as he kissed you deeper. Your hand that was on his face went to his hair and you felt a shudder run through him at the feeling.

He pulled back to look at you, pressing his forehead against yours like he did in the car and breathing heavily as he looked down at you.

“I love you.” He rushed it out like it was his only chance to say it and then immediately shut his eyes tight like he was embarrassed. “You don’t need to say anything back I just needed to finally say it out loud to someone other than my grandma.”

“Are we going to talk about your grandma everytime you’re about to kiss me?” You laughed and he smiled at you, squeezing your front against him.

“No definitely not.” And he kissed you again.

——

The next week was probably the most stressful of your entire life, which was pretty impressive considering how your childhood and early adult years were basically one big intense competition.

Having to tell not only your coach for the last decade that you were quitting, but also your mother, was probably scarier than any stunt you could attempt.

Coach Suzy, as it turns out, seemed to be expecting it and told you that she was planning to retire once this year’s competitions were over. She apologized for being so harsh on you at times and especially for losing her temper due to her own stress and insecurities.

You forgave her and wrapped her in a tight hug but you could feel Sunghoon glaring at her from behind your back.

Sunghoon had been beyond helpful during the process, both legitimately with the paper work it required and removing yourself from data and emotionally. It wasn’t easy to admit to yourself you were done doing the only thing you’d ever been good at.

“You’re good at lots of things.” He was telling you for probably the tenth time this week. You were laying in his bed, hand in his as he played with your fingers.

You’ve learned a lot about him with all the time you’ve been spending, not everything of course but every new bit of information was exciting to you. You liked seeing him in different moods and settings, this one being your favorite.

You liked him best like this, his now dark hair messily splayed against his pillow, still smelling like sleep and the coffee on his bedside table. You liked the way his fingers sleepily played with the shirt you were wearing, which was of course his, and tugged on it.

“Yeah but I don’t know what.” You were sighing and rolling onto your stomach so you could look at him directly

He was smiling at you with a lazy toothy grin, sitting up just a little against the headboard to be able to see your face better. He leaned his head back and shrugged.

“You never had a chance to be good at something else, it doesn’t mean you’re not princess.” You flushed at his casual words and he noticed, leaning down to kiss your head and laugh. “I knew you liked that.”

“Shut up.” You were grumbling and resting your chin on his chest once he sat back again. “Maybe I did a little but I almost gagged the first time it made me blush.”

He was letting out a throaty laugh and you felt your face vibrate as his chest moved making you laugh quietly with him. He looked pretty like this and you liked the way his dark hair looked, having gone so long without seeing it.

Your tired laughs naturally died down and you turned your head so your cheek was on his chest instead, feeling him breathe and listening to his heart pick up in speed every so often.

“Will you come with when I talk to my mom?” You weren’t embarrassed at the childish hint in your voice, knowing he’d understand why this was way scarier than the other parts.

“Anything for you.” He was still smiling at you but he sounded serious, hand in your hair now as he played with it and kept it out of your face.

It made your stomach flip when he said it because you knew he meant it. He’d been beyond caring and helpful even letting you stay with him, doing quick stops at your apartment after you’d made sure your moms car wasn’t around so you could get some clothes and necessities.

He didn’t seem to mind the company at all, always smiling at you in the mornings and when he came home from the rink to the sight of you on his couch watching a movie or doing the dishes in the kitchen.

He’d even taken you to see his grandma a few more times. He really did mean it when he said he went every day, only missing a single night when it all hit you and you couldn’t stop crying. You felt awful the next morning he’d stay with you and begged him to apologize to her for you when he asked you to come along.

She had a soft knowing smile when you walked in behind him, patting her bed for you to sit and giving you advice on what to say to your mother.

“She’s your mother honey, she’ll love you no matter what you choose to do.” She had whispered to you and you felt your heart crack with the knowledge that wasn’t quite true.

“Her moms a lot like dad.” Sunghoon was mumbling from behind you, he was standing with his hands on your shoulder as you sat on the bed. You weren’t quite sure what that referred to but his grandmas mouth parted in understanding.

“Then there’s nothing you can do.” Her sharp flip in opinion made you glance back at Sunghoon. He gave you a look like he would explain later and you hesitantly looked away. “You can’t live for her, there’s no right there. You need to live for yourself and accept that relationship as a loss.”

You were replaying her words in your mind on a loop as you stood outside your door, suddenly feeling like a stranger who needed to knock before entering. It was never homely but this was the first time you truly realized how cold it felt here.

You knew Sunghoon was right behind you, giving you some space incase you were overwhelmed or felt like you needed to change your mind, but you reached your hand back for confirmation and took a deep breath when you felt his warm hand in yours.

Waiting with baited breath, your knuckles stung from the knocks against the door. You were bouncing your foot anxiously and counting each second before she opened the door.

For just a split second you saw shock and relief pass over her face before it was twisting up in anger and disgust.

“How dare you come here?” She was spitting towards you and you wanted to flinch back away from her, holding your resolve and letting her finish her comments. “And with him of all people.”

When she turned her murderous gaze towards Sunghoon, something was set off in you and you stepped to the side to block him from her view with a glare. She seemed taken back by this, used to you being paralyzed by guilt and fear.

“If you’re here to apologize I don’t want to hear it.” She hissed at you after the shock passed, her anger only building now at your defiance.

“I have nothing to apologize for.” You spat back at her, stuttering slightly with anxiousness. You felt Sunghoon squeeze your hand in his and take a step closer to you and you took a deep calming breath before continuing with a stronger tone. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m here to get my stuff and then we won’t have to see each other again.”

You weren’t sure where this came from, not having made any plans with Sunghoon to stay with him longer. A wave of insecurity hit you at the idea you were overstaying your welcome and he was going to deny you, leaving you with no choice but to find somewhere else to stay with. You had some distant family but you can’t imagine they’d be too ecstatic about taking on an adult with no job.

“And where on earth are you planning to go.” Your mother did what she did best and caught sight of your insecurity, magnifying it with a knowing sneer. “Nobody will want you, ‘ex prodigy’ won’t get you in anywhere.”

“She’s staying with me.” Sunghoon’s voice came from over your shoulder and you felt his front press against you, his hand on your shoulder to steady you. He was having a hard time seeing you like this, anger surging through him as he watched you go weak from fear.

“I want her and she can stay for as long as she needs to. We are just here to get her stuff, like she’s already told you.” His voice was hard and dark, your moms eyes flashing up at him with angry eyes as he spoke so firmly.

She didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you almost thought she’d turn you away and leave you with absolutely nothing to your name. Eventually, however, she took a step to the side of the doorway and waved the two of you in.

Sunghoon gave you a loaded glance once you were in your living room, you nodded at him and he made his way down the hall to your room while you stayed back with your mother.

“I see he knows his way around.” She scoffed at you and glared at his back as he walked away.

“It’s my house too.” You muttered back at her. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“He ruined you.” She barely let you finish your sentence before she was snapping at you, a finger being raised and pointed in your face. “This is all his fault.”

“This is your fault.” You felt tears well up in your eyes again and shook your head. “If you stopped being a coach and tried being my mother for just one second you would’ve realized that before it was too late.”

“You think he’ll keep you around?” She was twisting her face with a nasty sneer as she took another step towards you. “Regardless how I feel about him, that boy is talented. You think he’ll want you even when he’s an Olympic winner and you’re working a part time job?”

You knew she was wrong, that everything she was saying was so out of Sunghoon’s character and would disgust him just at the thought. But her ability to look into the deepest part of you and see your darkest fears caused you to tense up.

“He loves me.” Was all you could bring yourself to say, willingly him to hurry up and come back out here so the two of you could leave already.

“Yeah, love.” She laughed at the word like the idea of anybody loving you was ridiculous. “You don’t think I loved you? You think this was all for me… that I wanted to be a mean coach.”

She didn’t seem to notice her own contradictions, calling herself your coach right after saying she had loved you. She was getting angry again, wanting to continue this argument and prove you wrong. You were exhausted of it, knowing what Sunghoon’s grandma said was completely right.

“You didn’t love me.” Your voice was firm and certain, leaving no room for denial. “But not because of anything I did wrong.”

You saw Sunghoon over her shoulder, waiting in the hallway with a few boxes and a backpack over his shoulder. He was trying not to listen in on your conversation but also seemingly ready to step in.

He caught your eye and you smiled at him, despite your teary eyes, he could tell you felt relieved and that you were ready to move on from this part of your life. There was no right path here, and in skating, and that was okay.

Your mother didn’t say anything else, not even when he came over to you or when you held the door for him so he didn’t drop any of your boxes. She didn’t close the door after you’d left and you didn’t look back at her as she watched you get in his car and drive away from the only home you’d known.

“I don’t actually have to stay with you if it’s not okay.” You were whispering while he drove. “Thank you for saying it though, saved me from a lot of embarrassment.”

He looked over at you like you’d gone crazy, frowning and shaking his head. He was taking a hand off the wheel and grabbing your still shaky one that was resting on your knee.

“Of course you can stay with me princess.” His voice was serious but warm and you squeezed his hand in yours, suddenly overwhelmed with care and affection.

Maybe not the only home.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #sunghoon enhypen #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon angst #sunghoon ice skating #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon smut #sunghoon

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lucky-draws · 5 months

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(transcript + some notes/explanation under the cut:)

i feel like the context of this is maybe only apparent in my own head LOL so basically ive kind of imagined an au where, based on the rebirth ending, james has succeeded in bringing mary back to life, but also maria, and also james gets killed in the process. so it's basically just maria and mary alone in the townTM trying to figure each other out. and this is a letter maria sends mary at some point basically. transcript in case the font is annoying to read:

Mary, You’ll have to forgive me if any of this sounds a little weird. I haven’t written anybody a letter in years, and I’m not sure if I have much of a way with words. Though I’ve been spending a lot of time in Ernest’s library lately, so hopefully some of his great literature has rubbed off on me. Somehow, I had this idea that I never liked reading much - that it wasn’t really my style - but I ended up getting kind of hooked. His dusty old books sure aren’t the worst company in this town, at any rate. I wonder what we really are, you and I. I used to think of us as two music box dolls: dancing side by side, spinning in perfect unison to somebody else’s tune. Like a pair of clocks keeping the same time. Two parallel lines, and an impossibility for us to ever intersect, to face each other head-on without some kind of disaster.

We’re not completely identical, though. If you looked closely at me - if you could bear to do that - you’d see all my imperfections. I lack your fine details. The paint on my lips is messier, my joins are showing, and there are bits of sprew left between my fingers. Pick me up, and you’ll feel how much lighter I am - I’m missing a lot of internal parts, you see. I’m a knock-off - we were cast from different molds. You were born of nature, while I was born from your very own killer. But I suppose I don’t need to tell you that. Do you hate me? I understand if you do. Or maybe I’m not so important - maybe you can only think of him. Or perhaps you’re trying not to think of anything at all when you sit by that lake for hours on end. I don’t know how you can stand it - going to the lake every day. It's so quiet. No ducks, not even a single bird. I’d go crazy, I think. That’s why I like to stay at the bar: there’s no one here either, of course, but it feels easier to imagine there might be. To pretend that we’ve only just closed, that those drinks on the table belonged to the last customers, and not to me. I’ve been so restless lately, sitting in the bar all night. I wonder if - no, I guess I’m hoping that - something’s going to give, soon. I think I’m losing the beat - I’m spinning slower than you are. I think it’s because I keep getting distracted, always thinking of you. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it’s simply because you’re the only thing in this dreadful town that’s not a monster. But I think you must be as lonely as I am. Much more so, probably. And I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if you’d only reach through the mirror and touch me. I’m full of missing pieces, I know - but I have this notion that between us, we might just be able to come together into something like a real person. You know, some days I feel I hardly know who I am; but other times I feel so sure that I’m beginning to dance to my own beat. It’s no fun dancing alone, though. Well, I guess you know where to find me. I’ll be waiting at the bar tonight. I always am. I’ve waited there every night - for something, someone, anything, anyone - for what feels like forever. But these days, I’m just waiting for you. See you around, Maria

#silent hill #sh2 #silent hill 2 #maria silent hill #mary shepherd sunderland #just realised you can see the cursor in some of these because i was being insane and creating these in google docs. oh well <3 #i was gonna do an art piece w like the music box doll visuals and a bit of text but then i realised i had much more than just a bit of text #so it became a whole ass letter

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misc-obeyme · 4 months

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Well okay. One whole person stated they would like to see the pegging version of catboy Satan so here it is.

I see you, @cactusmisslittle. I hope it’s okay that I tagged you, but your tags here are the only reason this version exists lol.

An important note! I've been calling this pegging because that's how I've been thinking about it, but I also wanted to keep things gender neutral if possible. I don't know if I succeeded, but to that end, I've used the word "cock" in place of "strap." So if you're imagining a strap, let's just say you call it your cock, okay? I don't know, I couldn't come up with a better way to go about it.

Oh yeah and one more thing - I didn't talk about the putting on of a strap, either, but it would happen when MC is taking off their clothes. Tantan is being patient and waiting for them lol.

The beginning part is all the same, with Satan dropping hints and MC walking into their room to find him. The only part that's changed is the actual sex. Once again, I apologize for low quality, I'm still getting into the swing of writing again.

GN!MC x Satan

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: soft dom!MC, cat collar with bell & cat ears, praising, use of Tantan as a nickname, still a lil bit of biting, penetration (Satan receiving, could be read as pegging hopefully)

It might be difficult to tell from an outside perspective, but you knew that Satan was soft for you. The way he trusted you entirely with his feelings, even his anger, let you know that he was perhaps more comfortable with you than anyone else.

So it wasn't entirely a surprise when you started to pick up on some little hints of something he didn't seem to have worked up the courage to ask you directly.

You weren't sure what was happening right away. It started one day when he showed you a collection of cat collars that were for sale online. He scrolled through the pictures on his phone, finally stopping on one with a little bell.

"This one is especially cute, don't you think?" he asked.

You smiled indulgently. "Yeah it is. Are you going to get it for one of the strays in the garden?"

Satan blinked as if he was surprised by this suggestion. He looked at you and the confusion in his eyes was clear. Then you watched as a deep blush spread across his face. "R-right," he said. "Yes."

He immediately changed the subject, but you couldn't stop thinking about his reaction. Like maybe the two of you had been talking about different things.

You puzzled over this for a little while, a suspicion starting to form in the back of your mind.

Confirmation came in the form of a cosplay catalog that Levi left in the common room. The cover featured an anime character wearing cat ears and a collar.

Satan picked up the catalog and you could tell that he had known it was there. "Levi must have left this here," he said. He showed it to you. "Wh-what do you think?"

You looked at the cover. "Hmm," you said. "I like the cat ears. The collar should have a bell, though."

You watched in satisfaction as Satan's face flushed so hard and fast you thought steam might come out of his ears.

After that, you knew what you had to do.

You were careful about your purchase. You made sure it was obtained discreetly.

The collar itself was thick and black with a large silver buckle and a round silver bell. You had chosen black cat ears to match. You left them on Satan's bed with a note that said, Is this what you had in mind? MC.

And then you waited.

The next time you saw Satan was at breakfast. He sat across the table from you and met your eyes directly. He held your gaze for a moment too long before looking away. Nobody else seemed to notice and he acted completely normal the rest of the day.

You had no other indication of his reaction to your gift. For days, you waited for him to do something or say something. Was he upset? He wasn't acting angry.

And then one day you walked into your room and nearly died on the spot. As soon as you recovered, you closed the door and made sure it was locked. And that's when you remembered that everyone else was out of the house today. Was that what Satan had been waiting for?

You turned back to your bed to take in the sight of him.

There he sat, on his knees, with his hands pressed onto the bed between them. The collar was clasped perfectly around his neck, the bell and buckle shining. The cat ears were nestled in his hair, their black tufts a nice contrast to his bright blond. He was frowning, his eyes were closed, his face flushed, and he wore absolutely nothing else.

You slowly approached him, watching him as he stayed still. When you got to the edge of the bed, you stopped. You cupped his cheek, tilting his head to look up at you, even though his eyes stayed closed.

"Look at you," you said softly. "What a beautiful boy you are."

Satan's blush deepened, but he opened his eyes. You saw desire and pleasure and nervousness and embarrassment tumbling through the shades of green.

You brought up your other hand and held his face. "Don't be embarrassed. You look amazing."

The frown eased just a little. "I didn't think you would actually want to do this."

Your eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why would you think that?"

Satan looked away from you. "It doesn't… make you uncomfortable?"

You rested your hands on his shoulders and kissed his forehead. "No. It makes me horny as fuck. And I can see what it's doing to you, too."

You looked down deliberately where Satan's cock had been steadily growing as soon as you got close.

Satan buried his face in his hands, causing the bell around his neck to jingle slightly.

"No, no, no," you said softly, pulling his hands away. He opened his mouth like he was going to protest, but you cut him off with a kiss.

Satan responded to you instantly, opening his mouth for you. As your tongues entwined, you let go of one of his wrists to reach up and grab the collar. You used it to pull his head back, giving you easier access to his mouth as his hand now tugged on the edge of your shirt.

You pulled away to kiss the wrist of the hand you still held, trailing your lips down his arm and up his shoulder. He was breathing heavily as you traced your tongue along the edge of skin where the collar stopped, ringing the bell playfully with your fingers.

Satan moaned, his tugs on your shirt feeble but persistent.

You gave in, moving away from him to remove the shirt quickly, along with all the rest of your clothes. He waited patiently, mouth open, skin flushed, cock straining.

You sat beside him on the bed, putting two fingers beneath the collar to pull him toward you. He moved easily with your guidance, the bell tinkling ever so softly as you caught his swollen lips with yours again.

You ran a teasing finger along the shaft of his cock and it came away covered in pre-cum. Satan whined against your lips and the sound of it sent a shiver through your body.

You pulled away just a little bit. "Use your words, Tantan. Or would you rather meow for me?"

Satan shuddered and the bell tinkled. "Please, MC," he said, his voice low and gruff. It seemed he wasn't quite comfortable enough to meow and his eyes were closed again, his face turned slightly away.

"Look at me," you said.

Obediently, Satan opened his eyes and looked at you. He might have been frowning if he wasn't so overcome with lust in that moment. You took in the darkness of his eyes, the heat clearly visible on his skin, the expression that vacillated between need and embarrassment.

You realized you could tease him for hours if you really wanted to. You also knew that he would let you. Something about the way he was looking at you let you know that he was trusting you entirely. That he was putting himself in your hands, letting you do whatever you wanted to with him.

Certainly, part of this had been previously discussed. The two of you had an established routine, after all. But he was entrusting you with more than he normally did and you recognized that extra vulnerability.

The light of your room hit the silver of the bell around his neck. You took in the collar, the ears. Maybe next time, you could get him to meow for you.

For now, though, you wanted nothing more than to hear that bell chime with every thrust.

You leaned forward, running your fingertips down his cheek. "You're such a good boy," you said, loving the way he seemed to melt whenever you praised him.

You took hold of his collar again, this time pulling him with you as you sat back against the pillows of your bed. You had considered other positions, but you wanted to see that bell as it sounded through the room.

Satan moved where you guided him, but when you let go of the collar, he no longer waited for your direction. He put his lips on your neck, straddling your hips, pressing himself against your cock, his hands roaming across your shoulders and chest.

Satan hesitated, pulling back to look into your eyes. It was as though he caught himself being too eager and now he needed your confirmation.

You had already taken a bottle of lube from your nightstand and now you slathered your fingers with it. You smirked at the way Satan reacted when you slipped them inside him, carefully, one by one. He shivered and the bell tinkled.

You took your time with him until he was whining again, his eyes squeezed shut. When you pulled your fingers out, he didn't wait for anything else. He slowly sank down on your cock and you watched his expression change as he took it all in.

Satan arched his back and your eyes fixed on the brightness of the bell around his neck.

To your great satisfaction, that bell did indeed jingle with every thrust, louder than it had from anything else. Satan was almost creating the sound himself, bracing his hands against your shoulders as he moved himself. But your hands were on his hips, guiding him, and you couldn't prevent yourself from thrusting up into him as well.

The way his moans mingled with the chimes, the way he flung back his head - he was beautiful. There was a soft rumble in his chest and it seemed he was okay with purring if not meowing.

Satan was lost in the sensation of you inside him, but you found it was easy to make him react even more by nibbling a little on his flushed skin. He gasped and clenched down on you every time he felt your teeth pierce him.

You could tell it wouldn't take much more. He had been so good for you and you wanted to reward him. So you took hold of his already slick cock and pumped.

Satan's nails dug into your skin, the bell continuing to jingle as he kept up his pace. His eyes flew open and he looked at you with an expression unlike anything you had ever seen - desperate, begging, needing something more from you.

"It's okay," you said softly. "Come for me, Satan."

It was exactly what he needed to hear. You watched as Satan bit his lip, his body arching as his cum spurted across his stomach.

Satan's body relaxed, the bell no longer jingling as he settled in your lap. He looked at you with heavy eyes. The cat ears were still on his head, but they were askew, poking oddly out of his blond hair.

You reached up to fix them. "Promise me you'll wear these again."

Satan let out a huff, frowning. "I couldn't refuse you even if I wanted to."

You smirked. "Good thing you don't want to, then."

Satan pulled himself up off of your lap and proceeded to give you the most amazing head of your life. It was a struggle not to knock off the cat ears while your hands were twisting in his hair.

Perhaps next time, you would bring a little leash, too. You were curious about how he would react to such an addition. Although he seemed unlikely to do this again when his brothers were around, so you might have to wait. You caught yourself kind of hoping one of his brothers would come home just to hear the consistent jingling of the bell on Satan's cat collar.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#well I don't know how I feel about this variant #but I wanted to try it out so here it is #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me shall we date #obey me smut #obey me satan smut #obey me satan #om satan #satan obey me #obey me satan x mc #obey me satan x reader #om satan x mc #om satan x reader #satan obey me x mc #obey me x reader #misc naughty times #misc writes

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charmed [18]: 'the finale: part 2' (remus lupin x reader)

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a/n: here it is ;'). the culmination of 3 years. before i say too much, there will be an epilogue so that is some consolation to me. because im in complete denial that its ending. i've never completed a piece of work of this magnitude before, and its completely thanks to the amazing love and feedback you have shown me that has kept me going. stay alert for the epilogue:) but without more waiting, here is the final part of charmed.

a/n: oh also, because i try to keep it as canon and tight as possible: unlike in the movie, remus doesnt transform OUT of his clothes. if not, he'd wake up naked lol. also, the book says hogsmeade station is not next to the village. i used the video game version where they're side-by-side for plot convenience.

18.

After hours of darkness, dawn’s first light etched its way through the thick trees of the Forest. Wolf shrunk back down into man, and heavy with exhaustion, he passed out onto the soft mossy floor.

A few trees away, high up in the branches, laid a watchful dove, who had fallen fast asleep with her head under her wing.

Moments passed, and the sky began to lighten with coats of yellow painting over the dark hues of black. They both awoke. Y/N floated down to where Remus was and transformed back.

“You okay?” She croaked, grabbing onto his robes that had brand new tears in it from last night.

Remus nodded. “And you?” He cradled her head in his two hands gently and looked down at her stomach.

She nodded back. They pulled each other into a silent hug, their heads pounding and their hearts tight with fear. They were both terrified of what had happened last night, but they didn’t speak on it. They needed the last of their energy to make it back to the Castle, where hopefully, everyone from last night laid safe and would be able to retell everything.

Finally, they reached the Whomping Willow. After grabbing Harry’s cloak and the map they had left there last night, they made their way into the castle. Fawkes was there to greet them, perched upon the railing of the staircase. Y/N and Remus took this as a sign, and followed the bird through the quiet, dim castle into Dumbledore’s office.

“Thank you Fawkes,” Dumbledore said softly as they entered his study, petting him on the head as it returned to its stand. “Professors, you have had a long night.” He gestured to his large divan, on top of which Y/N and Remus gladly crashed.

“Headmaster—“ Remus cried out softly, the word shakily exiting his mouth in desperation and weariness.

“Do not fret, I will explain everything.” Dumbledore waved his hand, and two steaming cups of tea appeared in front of them, as well as a plate of small cookies. “Please.”

Y/N and Remus gratefully brought the warm liquid to their mouths, and squeezed each other’s hand as Dumbledore began explaining everything. He told them that Ron, Harry and Hermione were currently safe and sleeping in the Hospital Wing. He is unsure of the details on what went down after them two had gone into the forest, but the three children were brought into the castle by Snape, passed out on stretchers.

Dumbledore proceeded to explain that Hermione had been in possession of a Time-Turner all year long to attend extra lessons.

“All it took was a word of them freaking out over Sirius and Peter for me to understand everything. But of course, no one would believe the word of three 13-year-old’s and even less mine who had witnessed nothing. I had to maintain neutrality in front of Fudge. That is when I proposed Miss Granger the plan to turn back time. You might forget that one more innocent life was falsely accused last night. And thank goodness, Hermione and Harry succeeded. They snuck back into a presumedly locked Hospital Wing and Sirius took off on Buckbeak right before midnight, with Fudge, Macnair and Snape completely in the dark.”

Remus and Y/N finally exhaled the breath they had been holding in for hours.

“Thank God.”

“So he’s free?” Remus asked. “Sirius?”

“Yes he is, Remus.” Albus responded.

Remus leaned back into his seat, pressing his fingers against pursed lips. The back of his eyes burned. He nodded. He shut his eyelids for a second. His friend was alive. He was out there.

“God, this is such a mess.” Y/N shook her head, burying her head in her hands. “Pettigrew got away.” She looked up at Dumbledore with worry in her eyes. “What will this mean..?”

Dumbledore shook his head wistfully. “There is no way to know.” He paused in deep reflection for a second. “There is no way to tell right now.”

The three sat together in silence for some time. There was gravity in the air as to what a now free Pettigrew might imply.

“Professors.” Albus smiled warmly. “You have done greatly. I suggest you two get some rest. Before the whole school wakes up. I need to finish writing this letter to the Minister.”

They nodded and left after thanking him for everything.

Remus and Y/N walked slowly, hand in hand.

“At least he’s alive.” Y/N managed to smile, looking up at Remus.

He returned the smile. “He is. He’s out there.” He said, bringing Y/N’s knuckles to his lips.

“Now, come on, into bed.” Remus said almost sternly once they entered their room. He sat Y/N on the edge of the bed and bent down on one knee, insisting on untying her shoes for her. “This much stress can not be good for the baby.”

Y/N laughed incredulously, watching as he proceeded to remove her socks for her, then massaging her feet gently. She knew that whatever fatigue she was feeling, Remus had it 100 times worse, but she saw him push through it in attempt to make her more comfortable.

“Remus?” She said softly.

“Yeah my love?” He said, lifting her arms to pull off her shirt.

“I love you.”

Remus paused with her shirt halfway off. “I love you too.”

Y/N giggled, as her head was stuck in the fabric, but Remus didn’t care and leaned down to kiss her.

Finally completely undressed, Y/N flopped onto her pillow. She ran her hands across her pelvis lovingly. “Our little cub.”

She was so tired that she drifted immediately off to sleep, not noticing how Remus had frozen on the spot. “Cub” set off an alarm in him, a panic that he couldn’t quite shake. He closed his eyes, clutching his blanket tightly to his chest.

Y/N felt Remus toss and turn in the bed beside her. She ignored it the first few times, until the last one finally brought her back to full consciousness.

“Are you awake?” She grumbled.

“… No.” He whispered back.

Y/N opened an eye to peek at him.

Remus took a deep sigh and sat up.

“What’s up?” Y/N joined him.

“This… might sound stupid,” Remus began, “but I don’t know, you said something earlier that just really triggered me.”

“Oh?”

“You referred to our baby-“ Remus smiled slightly at the word and the thought, “as a ‘cub’”. He grimaced.

“Oh…”

“It just sent me in a panic and I haven’t been able to quite shake it— and the thoughts, they’re paralyzing me.”

Y/N listened carefully as he continued.

“I just think about me potentially passing down my condition to an innocent child- our child- and having it have to suffer so much, all because of me.”

“Hmm.” Y/N said. “Can I speak— is that all you wanted to share?”

Remus nodded.

“Would you still love my child even if it had the same mental health issues as me?”

“Of course, that’s not even a question.” Remus said.

“So what’s the fundamental difference between that and lycanthropy?”

“Well, you cannot compare the two, they are simply not— being a werewolf is dangerous to others.“

Y/N shrugged, “I could argue that a bunch of conditions can make someone dangerous to others. But yeah, I understand. Fundamentally though, this is our child. Ours, Remus. You and me. I’m going to love this baby so much, because it will be part you. Not in spite of that. And it may inherit some of your worse traits, but it will also inherit the things that make you-” Y/N cupped his face. “the most wonderful man I’ve ever met. If it inherits lycanthropy, it will just be one gene out of 5 million other ones. It won’t change a thing in how much I will fucking love them.”

Remus remained silent.

“Yes, it’ll come with its own challenges. But having a kid was never gonna be easy right? And it’s nothing we can’t prepare for? It’s not like tracking the moon and handling transformations is completely new to us. We would just have two little furry friends every month instead of just the one. And they can come to Hogwarts, just like you have. And they’ll experience all the joys and laughs and cries at this castle as we have. Plus, they will get to grow up in a time where Wolfsbane is more accessible.”

Remus looked half-convinced.

“Plus, the baby will be half me. Will you not love something that is half me?” Y/N pouted.

Remus chuckled, finally breaking, throwing his head to the side. “Of course, I’ll love it. I love things that are 1% you, I love things that aren’t even you but remind me of you.”

Y/N cooed.

Remus put his arm around Y/N’s shoulder and brought her head to his lips. “I love you more than anything there is, and the only thing I would more is I fear, our baby.”

Y/N felt a tear creep up to her eyes. “Me too. So we’ll be okay, okay?”

Remus took a deep breath, feeling the air transition in and out of his body. “Okay”.

The fear wasn’t as strong. He kept holding onto Y/N, until the fear almost went away completely. And they fell back asleep.

Their time of respite was cut short by a knock on the door. Y/N stirred, rubbing her eyes. What time even was it? She turned to see Remus still deep in slumber. She smiled, and got up.

“Professor McGonagall!” She said in slight surprise to find her at their door.

“I’ve come to bring you breakfast,” Professor McGonagall said, carrying a tray with two plates on it.

“Oh, thank you! Come in, come in.” She ushered her in, letting her set the tray on the table.

“There is… something else I need to discuss.”

“Oh?” Y/N folder her arms across her chest.

Professor McGonagall sat down and ushered Y/N to take the chair next to her.

“Professor Snape, this morning… at breakfast… well— He told everyone about Lupin’s condition.”

Y/N swallowed. She took a deep breath. Then she began nodding slowly. “Everyone?”

“Well, he mostly said to the Slytherins, but you know the school: if one student knows, every one will know.”

Y/N nodded again, pursing her lips.

“I am really sorry, Y/N.” Professor McGonagall said regretfully. “He… he does not deserve this.”

Y/N merely continued to nod. “Thanks for coming to tell me this, Minerva.”

McGonagall stood, and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“And thank you for the food.”

Y/N watched the older witch leave and looked back at the bedroom door. She tapped her foot nervously. She checked the clock. Breakfast was still being served. She got up.

Most of the students were enjoying their meal quietly as the Great Hall was filled with a low buzz of morning chatter, cornflakes being poured into bowls and envelopes of morning mail being ripped open to read. Suddenly, the doors burst open, and Y/N came storming in.

“SNAPE!”

A hush fell over among the students, as they were slightly distraught to see their Charms teacher like this.

She spotted Snape at the teacher’s table, who had awkwardly set his goblet down. “SNAPE!” Her angry footsteps echoed off the walls of the Hall.

“WHERE do YOU get off, telling people about MY HUSBAND’s business?!!” She yelled.

There was a huge, collective gasp from the students.

“Are you this PATHETIC that you feel the need to stoop THIS LOW, and ruin Remus’ ENTIRE reputation? Based on WHAT? HUH? WHAT— are you mad that things, WHERE YOU HAD NO PLACE TO BE TO BEGIN WITH, didn’t go YOUR WAY? SOMETHING YOU WERE COMPLETELY WRONG ABOUT BY THE WAY— you didn’t even TRY to hear us out, but that’s just how you are, isn’t it? SO STUBBORN, I don’t know if you know this, SEVERUS, but we are ADULTS NOW. I COULD PULL THE SAME SHIT AS YOU AND EXPOSE SO MUCH OF WHAT YOU WERE— NO, ARE— but I won’t, I don’t want to waste my BREATH.”

Multiple professors had run down at this point to hold Y/N back, and were busy rushing her to the side and out of the room.

“I’d start with how you got that BUMP on your head, but that doesn’t even matter—“ Y/N fought, “and DON’T EVEN THINK of raising your wand at me, I am PREGNANT—“

The entire student population let out another gasp in unison.

“But again, it wouldn’t be unlike you to want to hurt A CHI-I-I-LD”.

The last word echoed through the doors as Y/N was pulled away by a swarm of teachers.

The Great Hall burst out into a swarm of loud, buzzing chatter as Snape quickly turned away and vanished from his seat.

“OH MY GOD?”

“WHAT JUST HAPPENED—“

“HER HUSBAND?!”

“AND SHE’S PREGNANT—“

“DID SHE REALLY MEAN TO LET SLIP THAT LUPIN IS HER HUSBAND OR—“

“I fucking KNEW IT! FINALLY!”

“BLOODY HELL, WE GOT A CONFIRMATION FOR REAL NOW THAT—“

“PROFESSOR Y/L/N AND LUPIN, I mean, it’s always been—“

“We BEEN knew—“

“HUSBAND?!!!!!!!!!”

Fred and George had risen to their feet on top of their seats with a large roll of parchment and began crying out: “Alright, listen up! Those who bet AGAINST Professors Y/L/N and Lupin, come pay up OR double or nothing— GENDER OF THE BABY! COME PLACE YOUR BETS, WILL IT BE A BOY OR GIRL, BOY. OR. GIRL?!”

It took Professor McGonagall 30 minutes to break up the hullabaloo of gossip-wired teens and dispatch the students into their respective common rooms where they could get ready for the Hosmeade visit scheduled that day.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione left the hospital wing at noon, and it was to find an almost deserted castle (courtesy of Professor McGonagall’s incredible crowd-herding skills). The students were all ushered out to the village and she hoped they would burn enough energy shopping and exploring.

Neither Ron nor Hermione felt like going, however, so they and Harry wandered onto the grounds, still talking about the extraordinary events of the previous night and wondering where Sirius and Buckbeak were now. Sitting near the lake, watching the giant squid waving its tentacles lazily above the water, Harry lost the thread of the conversation as he looked across to the opposite bank. The stag had galloped toward him from there just last night....

A shadow fell across them and they looked up to see a very bleary-eyed Hagrid, mopping his sweaty face with one of his tablecloth-sized handkerchiefs and beaming down at them.

"Know I shouldn' feel happy, after wha' happened las' night," he said. "I mean, Black escapin' again, an, everythin' -- but guess what?"

"What?" they said, pretending to look curious.

"Beaky! He escaped! He's free! Bin celebratin' all night!"

"That's wonderful!" said Hermione, giving Ron a reproving look because he looked as though he was close to laughing.

"Yeah... can't've tied him up properly," said Hagrid, gazing happily out over the grounds. "I was worried this mornin', mind... thought he mighta met Professor Lupin on the grounds, but Lupin says he never ate anythin' las' night...."

"What?" said Harry quickly.

"Blimey, haven' yeh heard?" said Hagrid, his smile fading a little. He lowered his voice, even though there was nobody in sight. "Er -- Snape told all the Slytherins this mornin'.... Thought everyone'd know by now... Professor Lupin's a werewolf, see. An' he was loose on the grounds las' night.... An’ then Professor Y/L/N came rushing in, cussing Snape out and all that, cause he’s her husband you see. Don’t know where she’s at but he’s packin' now, o' course.”

"He's packing?" said Harry, alarmed. "Why?"

"Leavin', isn' he?" said Hagrid, looking surprised that Harry had to ask. "Resigned firs' thing this mornin'. Says he can't risk it happenin again.”

Harry scrambled to his feet.

"I'm going to see him," he said to Ron and Hermione.

"But if he's resigned —"

“— doesn't sound like there's anything we can do —"

"I don't care. I still want to see him. I'll meet you back here."

Lupin's office door was open. He had already packed most of his things. The grindylow's empty tank stood next to his battered old suitcase, which was open and nearly full. Lupin was bending over something on his desk and looked up only when Harry knocked on the door.

"I saw you coming," said Lupin, smiling. He pointed to the parchment he had been poring over. It was the Marauder's Map.

"I just saw Hagrid," said Harry. "And he said you'd resigned. It's not true, is it?"

"I'm afraid it is," said Lupin. He started opening his desk drawers and taking out the contents.

"Why?" said Harry. "The Ministry of Magic don't think you were helping Sirius, do they?"

Lupin crossed to the door and closed it behind Harry.

"No. Professor Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives." He sighed. "That was the final straw for Severus. I think the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. So he -- er -- accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast."

"You're not leaving just because of that!" said Harry.

Lupin smiled wryly.

"This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving from parents.... They will not want a werewolf teaching their children, Harry. And after last night, I see their point. I could have bitten any of you.... That must never happen again."

"You're the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had!" said Harry. "Don't go!"

Lupin shook his head and didn't speak. He carried on emptying his drawers. Then, while Harry was trying to think of a good argument to make him stay, Lupin said, "From what the headmaster told me this morning, you saved a lot of lives last night, Harry. if I'm proud of anything I've done this year, it's how much you've learned.... Tell me about your Patronus."

"How d'you know about that?" said Harry, distracted.

"What else could have driven the dementors back?"

Harry told Lupin what had happened. When he'd finished, Lupin was smiling again.

"Yes, your father was always a stag when he transformed," he said. "You guessed right... that's why we called him Prongs."

Lupin threw his last few books into his case, closed the desk drawers, and turned to look at Harry.

"Here -- I brought this from the Shrieking Shack last night," he said, handing Harry back the Invisibility Cloak. "And..." He hesitated, then held out the Marauder's Map too. "I am no longer your teacher, so I don't feel guilty about giving you back this as well. It's no use to me, and I daresay you, Ron, and Hermione will find uses for it."

Harry took the map and grinned.

"You told me Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs would've wanted to lure me out of school... you said they'd have thought it was funny."

"And so we would have," said Lupin, now reaching down to close his case.

"I have no hesitation in saying that James would have been highly disappointed if his son had never found any of the secret passages out of the castle."

There was a knock on the door. Harry hastily stuffed the Marauder's Map and the Invisibility Cloak into his pocket.

It was Professor Dumbledore. He didn't look surprised to see Harry there.

"Your carriage is at the gates, Remus," he said.

"Thank You, Headmaster.”

Lupin picked up his old suitcase and the empty grindylow tank.

"Well — good-bye, Harry," he said, smiling. "It has been a real pleasure teaching you. I feel sure we'll meet again sometime. Headmaster, there is no need to see me to the gates, I can manage...."

Harry had the impression that Lupin wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

"Good-bye, then, Remus," said Dumbledore soberly. Lupin shifted the grindylow tank slightly so that he and Dumbledore could shake hands. Then, with a final nod to Harry and a swift smile, Lupin left the office.

“After you, darling.” Remus said, holding the carriage door open.

“Thank you.” She hummed, taking Remus’ outstretched hand and climbing into the carriage.

They settled into their seats and the Thestrals began to move. They looked out the window, watching the Castle grow smaller and smaller. Tears rolled down Y/N’s cheeks.

She turned to face forward, slumping into the back of her seat and sighed. She glanced at Remus, who was staring back at her. She pouted.

“You don’t have to come with me, you know.” He began.

She shook her head.

“You can finish the term properly, hand out grades, enjoy the end-of-year feast…”

“We’ve talked about this, Rem.” She cut him, placing her hand on his shoulder. “I wanna be with you. Don’t want you to be alone right now. Plus, if you think I didn’t ask the house-elves to cook up something for me…us…”

Remus laughed incredulously as Y/N showed him the contents of her bag, which included a few wrapped sandwiches, several pastries, a banana and an apple, and homemade candied almonds.

The two wistfully looked out the window.

“I want to tell you, Y/N, that—“ Remus looked down at his hands. “This year might have been the best year of my life. Of course there were other happy years in my life, like some at Hogwarts as a child, or when I met you, but…”

He pursed his lips together and looked back at the Castle. “There’s something about being back here… with you this time… Hogwarts was the first place I had ever found joy. And friendship. And being able to revisit it so many years down the line as a man, and experience it doing something I love with whom I love, also doing what she loves…”

His voice broke as he covered his eyes.

“Oh, Remus.” Y/N grabbed his hand. “I feel the same way. I didn’t really know you when we were first here. But being able to experience Hogwarts with you, it’s been… well, magical.”

Y/N looked at him intensely through glassy eyes. “Oh, and I hate that it has to end like this, I do, no I do—“ She reiterated as he began shaking his head. “Because, you don’t tell yourself this enough, but you have so much to be proud of this year. I’m so proud of you. You’ve accomplished something so special here, you might not see it but I do, I’ve been seeing it all year. You were so important to those students. I literally heard it everyday- in the hallways, in the classrooms, in the library- how much they loved you.”

Remus was full on crying now.

“You.” Y/N said, jamming a finger into his chest. “I have loved this year because of how much it has brought me back to, but it’s been everything to watch you shine. Because of simply who you are. You’ve gotten too used to hiding in the shadows. And I felt like falling in love with you all over again.”

They engulfed each other in a hug as they both cried into each other.

Finally, the carriage came to a halt. The two came apart, sniffling, wiping their wet faces on the sleeves of their robes.

“God, we’re such saps, aren’t we?” Remus let out a wet chortle.

Y/N did the same back.

They both stepped out, with their bags onto Hogsmeade Station. The train had just arrived for them, blowing steam in a loud whistle.

Remus took the bags and began climbing on with them.

Out of the corner of Y/N’s eye, she saw dozens of students on Hogsmeade’s main street, in the middle of their weekend visit. A few of them seemed to be looking back. Recognizing who they were, she gave a big wave with her entire arm. They all waved back. And suddenly, they began growing larger. They were running towards the train platform.

“Oh my God, they’re coming…” Y/N muttered as the mob of students trampled into the station.

A dozen “Professor Y/L/N!”s broke out in different voices.

“Where are you going?”

“We heard you’re pregnant!”

“Is it true?!”

“Will you be back to teach next year?”

Y/N beamed at them as she looked in each of their faces. There was a mix of all her students, from all years and all houses. She felt a pinch of sadness to see that Harry, Ron and Hermione were not present.

“You guys…” Y/N took a deep breath. She put her hand on the shoulders of the two students nearest her. “Yes, I am pregnant.”

There was a collective whoop.

“So, I don’t see myself coming back next year as I would be on maternity leave.”

There was a collective “aw” of disappointment.

“What about Professor Lupin?” said a timid 1st-year.

Y/N smiled sadly. “I… don’t know, sweetheart.”

A shared expression of sadness fell upon the group.

“You know, we’ve been really depressed after hearing about Professor Lupin.” Seamus said, kicking his feet. “He was the best Defence teacher we’ve ever had!”

Remus had his ear pressed against the train door. He felt his heart clench. Y/N looked back at him and cocked her head slightly. He stepped down onto the platform.

The group of students erupted in cheers. “Professor Lupin!” They broke out in a cacophony of praise and sadness about his departure.

Remus bowed his head down in humility. He was at a loss of what to say. “I… thank you everyone. I am most glad that you have learned this much with me.”

A first-year stepped forward hesitantly, then lunged to hug Remus. Taken aback for a second, Remus then chuckled kindly and returned the hug.

“WE’RE GONNA MISS BOTH OF YOU SO MUCH!”

They then divided into two groups, one to group-hug Remus and the other, to Y/N. The two couldn’t stop laughing of glee, watching the scene unfold.

“Can we write letters to you when you’re gone?!”

“Of course you can.”

Finally, the train whistled and it was time for Y/N and Remus to board officially.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us all year you two were married, by the way.” A student finally said.

Y/N laughed. “Yeah…” She took Remus’ hand. “But I hear you guys were quite keen on figuring it out.”

With one last goodbye, Y/N and Remus climbed up onto the train. They took their seats and waved back at the students through the window. The train tugged forward, and several of the students sprinted and ran across the train, tapping on the window.

Y/N and Remus laughed with tears in their eyes, watching them slow down and stop as finally the train turned out of the station and away from the platform. From afar, they could see a small McGonagall-shaped figure whisk all the students away and back into the village. The figure stopped for a moment and looked at the train. She nodded and waved.

The train picked up speed and within seconds, Hogsmeade was replaced with tall sets of trees on both sides.

Y/N looked at Remus. He smiled. Taking a deep breath, Y/N closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder.

Remus sat there wide awake. He watched etches of forest zoom past them in the window. The train turned a corner and the trees dissipated, freeing the view upon the other side of the lake. The sky was impossibly clear, as tones of light blue filled his vision. Sun glistened atop the water’s reflection. He watched the scenery and thought back to his year, with a bright golden ball of light glowing in his chest. He knew it was going to be difficult to predict when he’d see Hogwarts again. But once again, it had changed him for good. And his future shined impossibly bright ahead.

With this feeling of warmth and hope, he closed his eyes and joined Y/N in her slumber.

#charmed #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #professor lupin x reader #prisoner of azkaban

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genericpuff · 6 months

Text

I've been a bit of a salty spitoon over the recent events unfolding at NYCC so here's some GOOD news (sorta) >:00

I say (sorta) because I'm not a huge fan of mongie's work (or mongie herself) either, but DAMN if this lady doesn't know how to GET SHIT DONE-

Like GODDAMN is there a lot to show for here \(￣︶￣*\)

I don't know what the Let's Play After Dark or Omnibus works are, but it's really cool to see Linda Sejic's art here, I had NO idea what to expect when mongie announced she was going to NYCC and collaborating with Linda. I'm assuming Omnibus is likely a novelization or some kind of complimentary book to Let's Play because it has over 700 pages of stuff which is wild. Unless they just went and re-skinned the Volume 1 cover of Let's Play, I have no clue but it looks great. As for After Dark, yeah, again, no clue LMAO

Let's Play is returning in 2025, AND she's starting up a new series over on Manta (a publishing platform that's open to NSFW material which will definitely be better for mongie's work and will hopefully give WT a run for their money LOL) She hasn't stated yet where Let's Play's new home will be, but I'm assuming if it's not Manta, it might be a new independently-run site altogether, but again, we'll just have to wait and see. I remember her mentioning she wanted to do a fantasy series on her Patreon ages ago so it seems like she's finally getting the opportunity to do so. I have no idea what she's going to do with Let's Play after its S3 jump the shark finale LMAO

She's getting some merch made with BIOWORLD which is neat, though it'll be interesting to see how the quality comes out because the last creator I saw working with BIOWORLD was Smythe and the merch was uhhhh- not great. I posted about it on IG a while back but I don't know if I ever talked about it here so I'll def make that as a separate post for anyone who's curious.

But the BIG one - Let's Play is getting an anime, and it's from an actual animation studio which is a way bigger sign that it's a sure thing.

Again, I'm not a huge fan anymore of Let's Play or mongie in general, but I gotta give her credit where credit is due, she had WAY more to show for herself at NYCC than Rachel did, and the fact that she did all this after burning her bridges with WT, that's gotta sting for WT's and Rachel who still don't have anything to show for an animated TV show after four years. At this rate, there are gonna be more creators succeeding on a mass scale by choosing not to publish with Webtoons than those who did.

And who knows, maybe the anime adaption will tidy up all the problems original Let's Play had. It remains to be seen, but I think it's pretty neat to see mongie making such strides since she left the platform.

Something something, "I don't care if mongie wins, I just want Webtoons to lose" 😂

#tho again mongie has a lot of issues herself oof #that said she's still probably one of the least problematic out of rachel and snailords #that doesn't make her NOT problematic but you def don't see her ambushing fan groups or scamming her audience #she's got business sense and i'll give her that #now let's see if she can stick the landing >:0 #webtoon critical #lore olympus critical #let's play webtoon

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softmick · 11 days

Note

Hi Meg! 💖

84 or 86 for the fic game?

Thanks for the prompts, Calli! I went with 86. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”

Oh boy, this got away from me! and went sad. What is even happening? Lol.

------------

Franny runs into the kitchen and wraps her arms around Debbie’s legs. She speaks with too much concern for such a small child, “Mommy? Is Uncle Ian okay?”

These days Franny notices everything, but Ian hadn’t exactly made it hard. Debbie’s face scrunches before she remembers to look reassuring. Her reply comes out weak, “Of course!” Franny considers this with a finger to her chin. Debbie tries again with a smile. “Yeah, I’m sure he is.” She isn’t really sure at all, but she remembers how it feels to believe a mom should be. “Why don’t you go get ready for bed and we’ll both tuck you in?”

Franny nods and runs up the stairs. A small win, but a win. Debbie listens to her daughter’s steps grow distant.

Ian had beelined straight to her from the door, scooping the girl up and holding her close. She had greeted him to no response. He alternated squeezing her limbs and pressing his face into her hair, taking breaks simply to stare into her curious face. Franny was patient and still for as long as she could manage. Debbie saw her start to squirm and broke up the moment.

Now Ian is on the couch alone holding Franny’s well-loved stuffed rabbit gently between his big hands.

“Ian?” Debbie whispers, sitting next to him.

He doesn’t speak, simply wraps an arm around her and presses a kiss to her head with a shaky breath into her hair. It feels so nice she could almost cry, but she doesn’t forget for a second that they don’t really do this. They’re close, not touchy-feely.

“Are you okay? Franny was asking.”

She thinks he’s nodding, but it’s hard to tell as he pulls her tighter.

“Can you tell me about it?” She asks hopefully.

He kisses her again and lets her go, but doesn’t meet her eyes.

Her heart flips against her ribs and she lets out what she hopes is a chuckle. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry, too.”

Ian swallows and looks down. He might resent the question from Lip or Fiona, but he’s Debbie’s big brother. He should ease her worries, not cause them. He doesn’t want to scare her and doesn’t know how to tell her why he’s so upset, why his heart feels so raw.

He tightens his grip on the rabbit and looks into it’s shiny plastic eyes. “It’s all so fragile, this,” he says nodding towards the stairs.

It’s felt that way in the past, but Debbie looks at her brother and feels pride. He’s still here, trying, succeeding, living. She thinks about Carl trying his hardest to follow in Ian’s footsteps and help this crazy world somehow. Liam, sweet Liam, bright and kind through it all. Things are looking up for Lip now that he’s sober�� Debbie sees possibility for them all.

There’s an account in her name with enough money to keep the house warm, the water flowing. Her daughter is safe, fed, and loved undeniably. Whatever else happens and despite the desperation she may feel for a love that’s all her’s, her family is good.

“Gallaghers are pretty resilient.”

There’s truth to her words, but Ian knows intimately that they’re made of the same breakable bones and soft tissue as everyone else. He knows that there’s no way to protect any of them from the seemingly endless ways people come to the end.

“Bad day at work.”

It’s an immediate relief to her. It’s not an episode.

Debbie knows exactly what he means. Someone died, maybe multiple someones. Ian won’t say it that way though. When he says anything at all he says, “It was a bad day at work today. I lost someone, Debs.” He takes responsibility for each one and never elaborates.

“You always do your best, Ian.”

Ian hears her and forces himself to nod - slowly, twice. He knows that it’s true. At least tonight. Earlier. He did everything he possibly could. He would’ve given everything for it to have been enough.

Debbie waits, not expecting him to say anything else. She wants to offer something more, something comforting, and tries to imagine what someone older or wiser might say. The only voice she can conjure is her own.

The silence, unusual as it is, seems to have a magic of its own because Ian does speak again.

“Bad accident on 55. Lost three tonight.” He doesn’t usually need to share. He feels bad, he deals with it alone in any number of ways, he feels better. It’s a well-worn path. But right now the burden feels so heavy, the pain is so sharp, that he feels too weak to keep it inside. Maybe if he can get it out he’ll feel better and Debbie will understand what’s going on with him for once.

He sucks in a shaky breath, “Two young kids, babies, Deb.” His voice breaks at the last part and tears drop thickly.

He wonders what they thought about in their final moments. If they were scared, if they knew they didn’t deserve it. If they knew, the way all kids should know, that they meant the world to someone. That someone cared. All the responders had tried so hard to make those last moments as gentle as possible. They had held little hands, whispered words they hoped were soothing.

Debbie aches. She has enough grief to last a lifetime and so does Ian. They don’t deserve more. It isn’t fair. If she could stop him from hurting she would. She leans into him.

It’s her worst nightmare, something happening to Franny, to Liam. To any of them. For them to die not knowing how fucking grateful she is to have them in her life, not knowing how much she loves them. For her to die before she gets the chance to tell them all. She does her best to show Franny every day, but none of her siblings communicate as well as they should. She worries the message gets lost. They’re close, not intimate. It’s not the kind of thing they talk about.

"We’re safe. You’re safe.” She pauses as he sniffles loudly. Then she tells him what she’d like to hear. “Fran’s safe and she adores you. She knows you love her, okay? We all do. You’re a good person, Ian.”

She doesn’t know if it’s enough, if he can feel the weight behind her words. But she’s sure. In this moment, right here, she’s confident she’s right.

She squeezes his shoulder and stands. It won’t help anything if she starts crying. “Lets go say goodnight, huh? You can read us a story.”

“Up in a minute.”

Ian never knows what will happen when he opens up which is why he mostly doesn’t. But maybe he’s just tried the wrong siblings. Somehow Debbie cut to the root, excised some of the pain. Helped him. He turns out the lights and heads upstairs, rabbit still in hand. With each step he feels a bit lighter, a little younger. How many times has he made this trek, to put little Gallaghers to bed? Debbie, even. And now her daughter. A lot, he thinks, but never enough.

#hi #fic prompt #ian gallagher #debbie gallagher #franny gallagher #fic #mine #i hardly ever edit cause i get tired of re-reading. so hopefully even if it's not well-written the vibes are doing something.

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snekverse · 4 months

Text

MCD Tarot deck 0-VII

Here are the first seven cards of my MDC Tarot deck, a project a year in the making!! For times sake and my own sanity, I'll only be doing the major arcana, but expect the next seven (hopefully) soon :)

Introductions + explanations under the cut! and disclaimer: I know VERY LITTLE about tarot, so please take all this with a grain of salt!

Aphmau, the Fool - Among other things, The Fool is representative of new beginnings, opportunity and potential, things Aphmau's character (specifically in MCD) encapsulated. Her newness to the world is a huge part of her character in the beginning of the series, and towards the end as the lore fleshes out it gets reflected in her dynamic with Irene, and being Irene's reincarnation. She is the culmination of the fresh start Irene wanted, and was filled with the potential to be everything she could never be.

Zoey, the Magician - Among other things, The Magician is representative of manifestation, resourcefulness, power, and inspired action. This was somewhat of a hard call on my end, but I think her dedicating the 15 year timeskip to research on how to free Aphmau and co. from the Irene Dimension, and ultimately succeeding even though it would cost her her immortality, aligns with this best. She worked hard and used all her power to change fate, to return her loved ones to their rightful home, which is pretty inspirational if you ask me.

Lucinda, the High Priestess - My note for this one is "I don’t know how to explain how this makes sense to me it just suits her" so there's no real reason for this decision lol. Among other things, The High Priestess is representative of intuition, sacred knowledge, divine feminine, and the subconscious mind. You could argue that MYST Lucinda inhabits some of these, being very comfortable in her femininity and having a strong sense of intuition as well as knowledge most of the cast isn't privy to, however we all know that MYST =/= MCD so do with this information what you will.

Zianna, the Empress - Among other things, The Empress is representative of nature, nurturing, and abundance. This is based somewhat on headcanons, but Zianna is heavily associated with being a kind, doting mother. She loves and nurtures her children, and in MYST we see this kindness applies to others' children as well as her own. Additionally, The Empress when reversed encourages one to make self-love and self-care a priority, something this ever-doting woman desperately needs after devoting all her time and energy to other people's needs for the past several DECADES.

Garte, the Emperor - Among other things, The Emperor is representative of authority and establishment, and when reversed is representative of domination and excessive control. This is based somewhat on headcanons, but Garte more so resembles The Emperor reversed, being a cold and controlling tyrant, both as the leader of a nation and as a father figure. He is a man of strict rules and regulations and tends to abuse the power he holds over people.

Zane, the Hierophant - Among other things, The Hierophant is representative of spiritual wisdom, religious beliefs, conformity, tradition, institutions. Zane canonically is the high priest of a very large and traditional religion, this aspect of The Hierophant is self explanatory. He is literally the head of an institutionalized religion of which he is very knowledgeable about. When reversed, The Hierophant is representative of personal beliefs and freedom. This is based somewhat on headcanons, but I believe Zane's hunt for Irene's Relic/the Divine Relics is a personal goal, and ties into breaking free from the controlling nature of his father, his nation, and his religion: who would dare control you when you become their god?

Donna and Logan, the Lovers - Among other things, The Lovers card is representative of love, harmony, relationships, values alignment and choices. I feel like this one if the most self explanatory, as their entire arc together is about over coming differences, and choosing to love each other in spite of those differences. Y'all remember how freaked out Logan was when he got turned? Specifically about Donna's reaction? And how she chose to love him anyways because this plot point happened before Jess added her werewolf kink to the canon lore? They constantly choose to be happy and they choose to be together, who else could I have picked for this card?

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mrprettywhenhecries · 5 months

Note

billy with a boombox outside win's window but the music coming from the speakers is decidedly not appropriate

Say Anything

⇾ w.c. 623 words ⇾ warning(s). none really ⇾ a/n: let's just pretend that say anything didn't come out in '89 for the sake of this timeline lol. Also, it's been a bit since I've written Win & Billy, so hopefully I'm not completely out of practice 😅

Sighing heavily, Win grimaced as she realized she’d just sighed again for the umpteenth time in the past ten minutes.

She’d been irritable all morning, snapping at Billy for something dumb he’d said – she couldn’t even remember exactly what it had been now – but she’d stormed off, coming home to fume about it. On any other day, she probably would have scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, or tell him to fuck off half jokingly and then forget about it, but today she’d taken it personally, even when she knew he hadn’t meant it that way.

It was stupid. And now she was in her room crying over it, wanting to call him, but too stubborn to, half hoping he’d call her.

The faint sound of music drifting through her window caught her attention and she wiped at her eyes before lifting her head from her pillow and rolling out of bed, grabbing the first thing she found to throw on, which happened to be one of Billy’s cutoffs she’d stolen, the Ratt logo on the front faded.

Pushing the window open, she found Billy standing outside by the curb next to his Camro, boombox hoisted over his head as it blared KISS.

“What the hell are you doing?” Win exclaimed, having to raise her voice to be heard over the music.

I really love you, baby, I love what you've got. Let's get together, we can get hot.

“Apologizing,” Billy called, walking closer, a grin tugging at his lips.

“As far as apology’s go, I’m not really sure about this one,” Win teased, leaning against the window sill, trying to keep the amusement from her face. As soon as she’d seen him standing there, she knew she’d already forgiven him.

No more tomorrow, baby, time is today. Girl, I can make you feel okay.

“Aw c’mon, what’s so bad about it?” Billy asked, raising an eyebrow at her. “I thought you were into this romantic shit?”

“Romantic shit?” Win repeated incredulously. “I don’t know if I’d exactly call this romantic,” she huffed, her chest aching with affection.

“What’s not romantic about it? Is it the choice of song?”

No place for hiding, baby. No place to run. You pull the trigger of my, love gun.

Win snorted, clamping her mouth shut to keep from laughing. “Yeah, that might have something to do with it.”

Billy frowned. “I thought it expressed my feelings pretty well,” he explained, biting his lip to keep from smirking.

“Oh– oh, I see,” Win quipped, shaking her head. “So you just wanna get in my pants, is that it?”

“Well, that’s part of it,” Billy shrugged. “But I really am apologizin’ here. I was an ass earlier.”

Win’s lips curled slightly. “Yeah, I know.”

Billy directed her a long suffering look. “I’m sorry!” he exclaimed.

You can't forget me, baby, don't try to lie. You'll never leave me, mama, so don't even try.

“Do you forgive me yet?” Billy called over the music when Win didn’t respond, half afraid she was gunna tell him no, just get back at him, but when she broke into a grin, he knew he'd succeeded.

“Yes, okay!” Win exclaimed, leaning further out her window. “Now will you shut that off and get over here before you wake my dad up?” she cried, her voice tinged with laughter.

Billy shut off the boombox and set it down, striding to her open window. “You know, your room being on the first floor kinda ruins the effect somewhat,” he pointed out, stepping closer so Win could wrap her arms around his shoulders.

“Yeah, a bit,” she agreed, “but it makes it so much easier for you to sneak in,” she grinned, letting him kiss her.

⇾ taglist. @super-unpredictable98 @b1tchy3lf @afestivelegend @heartbreak-sandwich @sugarcookiesteve @birminghamshelbyboys @elliethesuperfruitlover

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove drabble #oc: win lewis #otp: lewgrove #joz.fic #prompt request

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cbncb0280 · 1 year

Text

His Saviour Or Savage? (Tom Riddle X Ravenclaw Reader - Smut)

Author's notes:~

Also, this is ideally a 15+ post just to warn ya lot. But under 15s are allowed to interact and read dis. And I don't like using sexual words such as 'dick', 'clit' and so on cus for sum reason, it makes me wanna cringe. So hopefully, you'll know what I mean when I describe them in here. I'm also not the best at writing smut since I'm a virgin, lol.

Welp, despite all dis from above, enjoy everyone. >;-)

P.S. Here's a drawing of him I edited. It isn't mine, it's just been given the sunlight effect by me.

This wasn't on. You were not gonna let him get away with this. Not your boyfriend. He was already succeeding by creating his first horcrux, killing Murtle by accident and gathering his first gang of secret Death Eaters. Now you knew that he wanted to become the darkest and most powerful wizard in the world.

You had only just recently discovered all this by reading something in his diary and his plans. Even though there was nothing in there, you just so happened to come across a note that told you everything.

The reason you had read his diary was because you were concerned about him since he had started becoming strangely distant from you. This made you curious and after you read his diary, you had began to wander if he wanted to carry on maintaining the relationship with you or not.

No. Not your most precious Tom... no... surely not...

You had both been together for about a year and had been friends ever since your second year. He was literally obsessed over you and didn't want any other boys except himself to be in your presence, ever. This is how pathetic it truly became.

Over time, you just ignored him, even when he tried to get you to speak several times. He hated the way he was failing. Passionately hated it. What was going on in that brain of yours? These were his horrible thoughts.

You questioned yourself the same thing about him, as though his mind was going absolutely insane. What were you going to do now that you had decided to ignore him completely since the past month? Just what?

Another month later, it was April and your 6th year. You had big exams coming up so life was getting very busy for you and everyone in your year.

You and your friend, Carolina, were studying Astrology predictions together in the library. Having said that, Carolina didn't believe in Astrology at all, even though both her Sun Sign, Aquarius and Moon Sign, Cancer really suited her.

This reminded you of whether Tom suited his sign, Capricorn or not. Same with Carolina as she had an obvious crush on him and you told her that you two had split up.

"Y/N, speaking of Tom, do you think he suits his zodiac sign? Capricorn, isn't it?" She squealed excitedly.

"Hush, Carol, not too loud," you answered miserably.

"Oh... okay then... well... if you don't mind me asking, how exactly did you and Tom break up?"

"Erm, never mind. Just... can we not talk about it please?"

You felt forced to hide your tears and struggled to prevent them deeply.

In the end, you just had to leave.

"Carol, can I go please?"

"Why?"

"Just... please..."

"Oh. Alright then."

You exited the library and ran to the Ravenclaw Common Room.

Carolina was the only person you had spoken to since your breakup with Tom and you now had some form of Depression.

Once you found your room, you shut the curtains on your bes then began to cry. Your books automatically fell off your bed and you interpreted it as a symbol of your low mood.

You also got out a knife you had sneaked from somewhere totally random, and began to cut your arms and legs for comfort. But subconsciously, it was because you wanted to see if Tom truly cared for you or not. You wanted to be his saviour and to stop him from his dreadful plans...

Thankfully, you somehow had a room of your own.

Why would Tom do this? And why would he wanna be with someone like you? A weird nerd, like yourself?

As for Tom, he was wandering why the hell you would leave him in such a way. And this time round, he was gonna make you tell him the answer. He hadn't spoken to you for over a month due to the way you acted around him. He also didn't wanna upset you.

Gah, he would never ever have been so soft around anyone else. He always gets what he wants, whether he remains a secret manipulator or not.

So this is partly what made you his greatest weakness. You were savage to him. And he wanted to rule the world with you. Just you and him, together. Everyone would bow down to you two and you would both be immortal. That was his dream.

Since he was now in the Slytherin Common Room on his bed, he was lost in his thoughts. He was reflecting on how you hang out with that crazy Gryffindor, Carolina who also loved him. Then he thought of you. How he first met you, how unusual, studious and amazing you truly seemed to him, your first kiss in the Room of Requirement (wow, that was really passionate), your secret dates roaming around the castle at night. Now he had lost you and wanted you back.

However, there was something else he was pretty desperate to do with you... perhaps... making out for the first time... no, he couldn't do that... he could easily get you pregnant and you and him would both be in a lot of trouble for that... no, no way...

But he still wanted to try it on you. He dreamed about it all the time nowadays. Also, the thought of you leaving him actually let out a tear from his eye...

In the end, he became so moody and frustrated that he just marched out of his room to go to the Ravenclaw Common Room to meet you.

He knew the password as he was a prefect.

When he found the doorstep to your room, he felt nervous. What if you didn't answer.

Bravely, he knocked on the door.

"Go away!" You shouted rudely.

Uh oh, what the hell was gonna happen now?

"Please Y/N, I wanna talk to you."

Without hesitation, you opened the door to see the face of your ex-boyfriend who you wanted back so desperately. You knew it was him all along.

It broke him when he saw your face looking so... down and depressed as if all emotion had left you.

He had never seen you in a state like that before. It shocked him.

"Y/N, please. Why have you been ignoring me?" He asked you so softly.

You couldn't answer. He'd probably go mad.

"Y/N, please. I want to know. What's bothering you?"

"Erm..." you paused as you really didn't know what to say.

"Y/N," Tom stroked your cheek while trying to comfort you.

You allowed him to continue and you desperately needed a hug, despite everything.

"Do you need a hug, Y/N?" Tom asked you gently.

You didn't answer, but instead, you wrapped yourself around him tightly and buried yourself into his neck. You were quite a few inches shorter than him, so he placed his head on top of yours.

He began to stroke your hair and give your head a massage with his hand. He shut his eyes and kissed the top of your head as he heard you cry on him.

"It's alright, Y/N. I'm not going to harm you. But I need to know. Why have you been ignoring me?"

Finally, you gave some kind of answer rather quietly.

"I'll tell you if we can do one thing we've both always wanted to do."

"Alright."

It was just as well that Tom accepted that. You had been in some form of depression for the past two months because of him. To overcome it, you needed to make out with him, like so desperately.

It was also not your time of the month when you were fertile either. You told Tom that and he was very relieved and pleased.

With that, both of you began to kiss really hard, the hardest you had ever done in your life. Tom gave your back a massage before lifting your shirt up as you removed his cloak.

You felt his hands touching your private part through your underwear and rubbing it ever so gently. It made you release some chemical that you had released while you imagined doing this thing with him.

He pushed you onto your bed, ignoring the open door since it was all the way upstairs and away from everyone else. Barely anyone went up there, thankfully.

So while he removed your trousers and the rest of your clothes, you did the same to him and he simply lover the sight of you.

"T-Tom... I need you..."

"Shhh, I know. I do too," he whispered in your ear.

And for the first time in your life, he began to give you a slow thrust which made you release more and more chemicals.

He heard you moan then began to kiss your neck. This made you moan even more as you felt his tongue licking everywhere and his lips slowly travelling from your neck to your breasts.

You clung onto him and as he continued to thrust inside of you, and the way he licked and sucked those ever so desperate parts of you made you need him so so much.

Eventually, he made it all the way through you while he kissed your stomach area. Yes, it did feel pretty painful, but you very bravely survived it.

A few minutes later, a sudden amazement of this new found feeling really excited you and made you kiss him hardly on the lips. Passion and movement continued as you carried on messing around with each other. Your necks, lips, cheeks and chests received a lot of kissing and along with your extra-sensitive breasts being given a lot of fascinating pleasure.

Chemicals were coming out of both of you and these funny sensations in your back were being super active. Tom kept thrusting in and out of you and this felt like... the most amazing thing you had ever felt in your whole life.

Eventually, he pulled out of you to your disappointment, but he kinda shocked you yet deeply surprised you when he slowly began to lick that part of you he messed around with a lot.

Woahhhhh.... this really was truly pleasurable. The feeling of his tongue licking that most sensitive and private area of yours?

A few of the sex chemicals did approach him, but then he came back up to you and thrusted inside of you again.

"Tom. That was amazing!" You whispered.

"You feel amazing," he smirked as he rubbed that needy area of yours and put his finger inside of it as he carried on thrusting in and out of you.

The thrusting lasted for quite a long time and you two especially loved kissing each other's necks, chests and lips in particular. Bleh, it even got a bit 'too' much...

Your nerves in your private part were perhaps more sensitive than many other girls which truly increased your desire for sex even more so than them... it felt just super nice and as though it was a drug to you...

He felt very warm and wet inside of you, yet it kinda tickled, but in a good way. You both considered it to be paradise.

Sadly for you both, you got tired and the smut eventually came to an end. But you slept together during the night after Tom shut the open door. And of course, you likewise, cuddled. Completely naked.

The next morning, you woke up in Tom's arms which were holding onto you tightly. You wanted to smut with him again. Thankfully, it was the weekend so no one would find out about what you two did last night, hopefully.

Slowly, you brought your private thingy to Tom's so that you may put yourself around it, but then he woke up and gave you a kiss.

He tugged you in even closer and more tightly than before, allowing himself to give another thrust inside of you. And flashes and flashes of excitement and pleasure came to you two.

Tom released many more chemicals inside of you and so did you around him, but then he whispered something in your ear. He actually sounded pretty afraid.

"Y/N, help me, please. I'm turning... crazy. I need you. Have you left me because-"

He was too scared to answer, and especially that you two were still having an amazing smut...

This made your tears come out with pure joy and excitement.

"Tom, I know your plans anyway. I'm really sorry but I read your diary out of concern since you were ignoring me. But I cannot approve of them. You broke my heart, like seriously. So I decided to ignore you throughout the past two months. I didn't really feel like talking to anyone except Carolina and I- I kinda harmed myself a little to comfort myself."

Tom was horrified to realise that he never noticed these cuts on your arms. So you had been self harming and in some form of depression because of him?

"Y/N! Why- why the hell would you do this?" He began to shed a few tears and hugged you deeply, burying his head into your collarbone and making his private part sink into you more deeply.

That made you and him smile a little while you both cried.

"Y/N. Listen very clearly here. I love you so very much and I can't do anything without someone like you. I don't want a plain, popular, common girl like that Carolina friend of yours. Forgive me here. But you are one unusual and perfect girl for me. You taught me to love when I have never experienced it before. I was going insane and felt that the whole world was against me. I needed to take power and control over others... until... you came along."

Tom cried on you and you couldn't believe what he just said. This warmed your heart so much that it beat really fast. You truly loved Tom and had never felt so in love before.

You massaged his back and stroked his cheek to comfort him as you kinda laughed as he released some more cum inside of you. This feeling really, really helped you as you talked to him very softly and comforting. He struggled to look into your beautiful, piercing eyes, but he eventually did during your most touching speech.

"Tom, you're everything I've ever wanted. I've loved you ever since I first met you. Your intellect, your passions, well, apart from the world dominance one, your handsomeness, your charm, everything. I've always loved you, and I truly promise that nothing can tear us apart. And when I make an actual, real promise, I never ever go back on my word."

You stroked Tom's cheek and hugged him as he smiled at you and buried his head in your neck again. Neither of you had ever felt this happy in your lives, ever.

"I love you Tom, so much. Stay with me and I'll always be here for you."

"Y/N. I love you so very much too. And I promise you I'll never leave you either, forever."

Suddenly, your lips crashed onto each other's so hardly and passionately. All your nerves in your lips were unstoppable to feel so good and then you two began to rock around everywhere.

You repeated your smut. You loved the way he licked you in that sensitive area of yours, same with sucking, licking and playing with those two 'you-know-what-I-means' on your chest. He loved the way you kissed his neck and stomach too, which even resulted in you sucking his- never mind...

After one last super-sensitive thrust which was your best and most fantastic one, you both decided to wash each other in the bathrooms were you two made out again...

This all lasted for the next few days and you two were most certainly back together again. And that was all thanks to sex.

Thankfully, Tom never got you pregnant, yet he still wandered whether to consider you his amazing, beautiful and most loveable saviour, or his savage spy who had secretly discovered his locked-up plans...

Nahhh, you were his saviour. His one and true saviour who had taught him to love.

And you were the only he would ever truly be able to love due to your magical ability to unlock his ability to release the emotion. After all, he was conceived under a love potion and had no parents to look after him. He was in a horrible muggle orphanage since the day he was born, until he escaped to Hogwarts.

Probably just as well otherwise he would never have met his saviour...

A/N: Helloooooo! Ty all sooooo much for reading. This is my second proper smut I have ever written. Sorry if it sounded kinda rushed as I do tend to want to get things done quickly at times, even while writing. But I hope y'all enjoyed it. Love y'all. :-D

#dating tom riddle #tom riddle #tom riddle smut #lord voldemort #voldemort x reader #harry potter #voldemort

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accio-victuuri · 1 year

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It’s time for some Christmas Eve / Christmas CPN to keep you company 🎄

first of all, Merry Christmas! I hope that you spend this day with people you love. may it be a cozy day filled with good food and gifts.

everything below is fake. for turtles only.

☼☽⋆｡°✧ ✧⋆°｡☾☼

let’s start with another cute story - drawing from Chengyi. This time with Bobo attempting to make bread/pastry for ZZ cause he knows he likes it. At this point, i’m just treating all the succeeding stuff she posts as fake stories. tho there is really something about a real-life person who they know, spent some time with them and saw them interact, turning into a full fledged turtle. lol. either on screen or real life, there is a factor that will make certain people believe in szd. What fans love about this comic is Bobo’s attempt in making ZZ happy by making what he likes — he is also wearing an apple watch, which we’ve been clowning about recently.

this reminds alot of us about GG’s 2020 birthday cake and who made it. There were lots of speculation at that time and one of them was Bobo made the cake. I mean, Bobo is someone who can do anything if he sets his mind to it, tho he may be a disaster in the kitchen— he can always practice. or maybe he had a bit of help. People are pointing out that in the photos, the cake looks smooth and perfect. but in the video, you can see in an angle that it wasn’t. there is a part with no icing and looks uneven. I know someone took some icing and smeared it on his cheek but that was only a little. So was he hiding the imperfection? trying to only show the perfect look of the cake his baobao made him? 🥺🥺🥺

When this CPN was talked about years ago, I was really skeptical because not everything is about their relationship. I mean, are we reaching too much? We are even connecting the cake to Yibo? But one thing I noticed about that cake is how simple it is. White. No decoration. Then I’m comparing it to the kind of cakes and cupcakes XZ and his team give out to staff/crew, it’s totally different. He prefers giving ones that look really pretty. So if this 2020 birthday cake was store bought or custom — why is it so plain? Unless someone handmade it. Someone who is a newbie in baking. 🤡

Example below are the cakes given by ZZ’s team to the ADLAD crew.

talking about these cakes, there was a card given alongside it ( see p1 ) with the message wishing a happy/merry christmas eve. The handwriting ( and message ) tho is similar to what was shared before by LRLG, a handwritten letter. Coincidence? lol. This is why we love LRLG so much!

Next is a submission in the ZSWW fake rumor house. I wanna mention it because of how cute it portrayed Bobo. 🥺🥺 I cannot post the whole translation here cause i’m not allowed, so I’ll share a few lines only.

• It said Bobo can be heard on the phone saying “I think you didn’t” and also “do you miss me?” / “do you miss me today?” / “thinking of you”

Then ZZ teases him, acting like he doesn’t miss him, and Bobo was like— “I’m the only one that miss you, you don’t miss me.”

This is so Yibo. He will only act spoiled and childish towards his ZZ, wanting his attention. It must be so delightful for ZZ to tease Yibo! Hearing that soft yibo voice ahhhhhh! We could never!!!! I’m so happy that they are in the same city now, and hopefully till the end of year or beyond. They deserve time to be together. Even if they have work commitments, at the end of the day, they can still go home to each other.

• Someone is already "quietly" preparing 🎄🎁what about you?

hmmmmmm. i doubt they will show off what each other gave, but who knows?

• OP mentioned the line : "Don't give up what you love because you're afraid" and this made me so soft. Not only does it talk about their relationship but their careers as well. yibo’s love for dancing. zz’s love for singing. both their passion for acting. They are two people who continue to pursue their love no matter what other people think. They are so inspiring. 🤍

Lastly, this unofficial bts video shared today. Nothing really incriminating. Just an example of how much they share and notice about what each other is doing. They don’t sound like two colleagues who just tolerate one another.

ZZ: Why did you just say you would go back to the hotel?

WYB: I just got back to the hotel and stayed there for an hour

ZZ: wearing makeup and wearing clothes

WYB: It’s hard. When did you switch over?

ZZ: I didn’t check the time, I just arrived 10 minutes earlier than you.

I swear. They know what the other person is doing or their schedule. It’s like they look forward to being together or whatever time they have sharing the screen. 🤍

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #all of this is cpn #there is no science here folks im just clowning like i always do

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rnanqo · 20 days

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Bree, Bree! As a fellow author, am I allowed to ask what you're writing? 👀💖

yes absolutely!!

the main project is Book Draft. it is a fantasy novel about two gentleman rogues seducing a lady so they can steal her big magical tornado. to pull this off, they will have to convince this lady they’re completely normal about her big magical tornado, completely normal about each other, and definitely not that pair of guys who’ve been in the news for trying to steal big magical tornadoes (they’ve been plotting and scheming and never succeeding). they will also have to ignore a variety of glaring red flags from the lady herself, who mostly seems interested in using them for hard labor and might also be creating an army of statue people. oh and her big magical tornado is in danger of breaking free and wreaking destruction over the land. can our heroes act like normal dudes long enough to fool this lady, seize her big magical tornado, and make sure it doesn't break loose? or will their obvious codependency and inability to admit their own mistakes be the death of them both???

(it will be a secret worse third thing, and I’m VERY excited to get there)

beat for beat this is an expanded version of a 15k thing I wrote last year. which i could not sell because when a story is that length you run out of places to send it VERY quickly. luckily I have always been a novel gal anyway so I was like lol time to write everything that comes after this lil 15k episode! and then when I had like 80k of followup I tried writing a query letter about it, realized I was trying to cram a trilogy into a novel, did some soul searching, and now we are here, on book 1. hopefully I can start querying it sometime this year!

i complain about it under ig tag. i collect relevant memes for my own dread purposes under whimsy tag. @mercyisms even made a meme about what is now book 3!!

other than Book, im renovating the ending on another possibly unsellable 15k novelette, working on a short story that revolves around a stupid pun, and writing on a narrative podcast about building pyramids in ancient egypt! all very exciting and fun. and the cause of wrist tendonitis

#ig tag #was not planning on such a Summary but hey!#thank you for asking!!#asks

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mrs-gauche · 1 year

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The “Flip it” Theory

(I’m sorry, it’s like 3am and I couldn’t come up with a better title. lol)

So.. Here’s another fun little DA tinfoil hat theory that you might have already heard about, but I don’t think I’ve seen it discussed on here before? It also probably sounds super unhinged, but at this point, can we even get any more unhinged in terms of theories? lol So, we might as well just embrace it. It’s just one of those theories that simply won’t leave my mind (especially when trying to sleep at 3am lol), so writing it down will hopefully put it to rest. 😁

Okay, so we all know that, in the Fade, the laws of gravity or physics in general don’t really apply and are all over the place, right? There’s no real sense of time or space, no real “up” or “down” as the Fade does not follow any rules of the waking world and is somewhat shaped by whatever the person dreaming expects reality to look like or quote, “is reflected by the mind of the living”.

So when we see the Inquisitor fall into Fade in “Here Lies the Abyss”, it’s even emphasized by how the camera movement in-game and the environment in the Fade has to “adjust” according to how the Inquisitor expects gravity to work, or rather, what the world’s supposed to look like to us, meaning the sky has to be up and the ground has to be down. lol

Additionally in Trespasser, we see that, not only is the Vir Dirthara scattered all over the place, but in parts also completely flipped upside down.

(I’m so sorry btw, I just now realized that looking at these gifs for too long can make you feel super dizzy. lol)

The reason I’m pointing this out, is because it keeps reminding me, for one, of this mural.

Of course, since this mural was first shown in the teaser trailer in 2020 and has been thoroughly analyzed by the fandom, it seems pretty clear by now that, with the way this mural is composed, particularly with the two upside down figures, BioWare intentionally encourages us to look at this image upside down. What’s even more intriguing to me, seeing as the Dread Wolf appears to break into the Black City here, “releasing” the raw magic of the Fade with its non existent rules of reality to the waking world and in doing so, figuratively and in some respects quite literally “turning the world upside down”.

Though while most people seem to focus on the two figures here (that are most definitely the two remaining Evanuris still sleeping/imprisoned or something like that, but that’s not the topic of this post lol), you might have heard of this other crazy theory suggesting that, when looking at this mural upside down, the shape of the Dread Wolf appears to roughly resemble that of a mountain.

(I warned you this leans VERY heavy on the tinfoil hat, but please don’t leave yet lol) Okay so, as far as I understand it, the theory suggests a potential connection to a particular mountain mentioned in the lore, called Belenas.

In a legend of the Avvar, it is said that Korth the Mountain-Father kept his throne at the peak of the mountain Belenas, which “lay at the center of the world”. The tale goes as follows:

Korth took his heart out of his chest and hid it within the Frostback Mountains to avoid being weakened by love. When his lack of heart turned him bitter and cruel, the Lady of the Skies sent her children to retrieve it. Though after all her children had failed to do so, the ptarmigan volunteered for the search. The Lady refused to give the tiny bird her blessing, as she thought the mountains was too fierce, but the ptarmigan succeeded where everyone else had failed. It found and freed the heart, allowing it to jump back into Korth's chest, where Hakkon Wintersbreath bound it once again. For her great deed, the ptarmigan was honored by the gods.

When Korth grew tired of heroes barging into his hall to claim the honors they thought they were due for climbing the mountain of the gods, he spoke to the Lady of the Skies, who then lifted Belenas from the earth into her realm, so no one could reach it anymore.

Legend says that Belenas was eventually destroyed during a battle between Korth and the serpent Nathramar, leaving only a vast crater behind that the Lady of the Skies “filled with her tears” and formed what we now know as Lake Calenhad.

Okay, so there’s a lot to dissect here, so I try to make it as brief as possible, but in short, people have noticed a number of intriguing parallels to different pieces of elven lore and theories in this tale, or what could be interpreted as such.

So I’m going to try and take this on one by one. Let’s start with this:

- Korth’s throne sits at the peak of mountain Belenas, at “the center of the world”.

- When looking at the mural from the teaser upside down again, it places the Black City (or the “Maker’s throne”, if you will) at the “peak” of the Dread Wolf shaped “mountain”. It is also known that the Black City sits at “the center of the Fade”, where no one is able to reach it.

- Korth takes his heart out of his chest and hides it within the Frostback Mountains. When his lack of heart turns him bitter and cruel, the Lady of the Skies sends her children to retrieve it.

- If we put in “Titan” for Korth and “Mythal” for the Lady of the Skies, this part is kinda reminiscent of what we know (or suspect) of Mythal, her conquering of the Titans (which would be the Frostback mountains in this comparison) and the theory of the ancient elves killing the Titans and obtaining their hearts, enabling them to create the foci/orbs/vessels of dreams that gives them god like powers. So Mythal sends out her “children”/army in the attempt to conquer the Titan and obtain its heart.

- After all the Lady’s children fail, the ptarmigan volunteers for the search. She refuses to give the tiny bird her blessing, as she thinks the mountains are too fierce, but the ptarmigan succeeds and retrieves the heart.

- Now, this part might be a bit of a reach, but when taking this even further and comparing this whole story to Mythal’s war against the Titans, looking at this tiny little nondescript bird defying the odds and ultimately leading the Lady of the Skies to “victory”, am I the only one who’s a little reminded of Greek mythology here (which, as I’ve mentioned numerous times before now, seems to be at least partially BioWare’s inspiration for the ancient elves), and how in Greek mythology, the Olympians’ victory over the (literal) Titans was the result of a cunning trick devised by Prometheus, who deserted from the Titans’ army beforehand.

And I know I’m certainly not the only one to have noticed a lot of odd similarities between the role of good old Prometheus in mythology and our very divisive Mr wanna-be-Wisdom Pride, aka Solas.

- For her great deed in retrieving Korth’s heart, the ptarmigan is honored by the gods.

- So while we’re at it, why not just compare the little bird to Solas then and assume that, for helping Mythal in her victory over the Titans and obtaining its heart, Solas is somehow honored and elevated to the status of godhood or at least into some sort of exclusive circle of those who the Evanuris trusted the most. (And even rewarded with his own orb, maybe? Might this be what we’re seeing in the mural depicting a Titan’s death?)

- When Korth grows tired of heroes barging into his hall to claim the honors of the gods, the Lady of the Skies lifts Belenas from the earth into her realm, so no one can reach it anymore.

- Now it gets a bit tricky.. If we take this part of the tale as Mythal “lifting” the now dead Titan into her own realm, meaning the sky, maybe it’s nothing more than a metaphor for Mythal mining the Titans’ blood and using the lyrium for her own empire (the creation of bodies for spirits?). Or maybe she literally lifted part of a dead Titan’s body into the sky and used it as a “cornerstone” to build the empire’s capital city Arlathan on top of it.

Which, again, would actually explain why the Black City *cough* Arlathan *cough* is depicted on top of the “mountain” in the 2020 upside down mural. Especially when adding that last part “so no one can reach it”, you know, just like the Black City can’t be reached within the Fade.

- Belenas was eventually destroyed during a battle between Korth and the serpent Nathramar, leaving only a vast crater behind that the Lady of the Skies “filled with her tears” and formed what we now know as Lake Calenhad.

- Again, this part could be interpreted in many different ways. I’ve seen theories spanning from Solas creating the Veil causing the magical floating Arlathan to fall from the sky and destroying the mountain in the process, to the Lady’s “tears” actually being Mythal’s (Great dragon) blood that somehow dripped in the lake when she was murdered, which is why centuries later, the actual Calenhad Theirin would gain special powers when he made a bargain with an old witch (Flemeth?) and drank from said lake.

So yeah, as you can see, there’s a lot to take from all this as far as unhinged tinfoil theories and strange parallels go. lol

And with all of this in mind, I’d like to look at the Black City in the 2020 teaser mural again, as you also might have notice that, in addition to the whole mountain shaped Dread Wolf, when turned upside down, the Black City appears to keep the silhouette of a city, no matter how you look at it?

In fact, a lot of depictions we’ve seen of the Black City share this rather oddly shaped silhouette.

There’s also this stained glass, depicting the city upside down and in both gold and black.

I actually don’t know what to take from all this. It’s just something I’ve noticed while gathering images. lol

But while we’re at it and flipping everything on its head now.. lol While I was looking at all the Trespasser murals again, I also noticed that, when flipped upside down, two of the murals actually form a full circle when put together.

And ohh, would you look at that, there’s the “mountain” (Titan) at the bottom again with the Black City “on top” of it, just like the mural in the 2020 teaser when flipped upside down?? 😂 (Also interesting parallel to note with Solas holding the orb(?) on both the left side of each mural.)

Now, I know I sound super unhinged and I actually don’t think this is supposed to mean anything and it’s probably just a crazy coincidence (..right??), but.... what IF we just go full on tinfoil here now and assume that it IS actually supposed to be looked at this way......

In all the murals we’ve seen thus far, the circle was always assumed to represent the Veil, right? So when looking at it this way, it would put the Titan inside the Fade within the Veil beneath the Black City, right?

So.. Here’s my crazy idea...

Even though we know the Fade is an ever-changing place not bound to any rules of reality or a set geography.. What if the rocky landscapes we see in the “raw Fade” are actually all part of a sleeping/dead Titan(s)?

And while we are looking at these rocks again, am I the only one reminded of the structures seen in the deepest level of the The Descent dlc, a gargantuan cavern located in the so called “Wellspring” within a Titan, which is grouped at the expedition table as a location within “the Uncharted Abyss”.

“The Abyss”, also called the Void in different cultures, myths and historical texts in DA lore, is said to be a place whose location is undefined, but believed to be somewhere within the Fade, “empty places between dreams” (or, according to Solas, the place where spirits are reborn).

So if we go back to the Wellspring again, where we’re looking at what appears to be a literal abyss, a vast sea of clouds.. What we expected to be the deepest and darkest place in the world is revealed to be a bright, seemingly endless “sky” beneath the earth, or rather a Titan.

And with all this in mind, it’s even more intriguing now to go back to the beginning of this post, where we established that, in the Fade, the sky is not set to be “above” or “beneath”. It all depends on the expectation or perspective of the beholder.

(And btw, funnily enough, I actually encountered a bug once at the Wellspring that made it look like the sky was actually “falling down” on me. lol)

And lastly, in relation to all of this, I also want to point out this little quote, said by Flemeth in DA2:

“The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss.”

While we all know our favorite old witch likes to be overly ambiguous and cryptic in her phrasing, maybe we should take this quote more literal than we previously thought? lol Maybe, with the Veil collapsing some way or another and the angry tainted Titans awakened, the world might literally lose its so called “Pillars of the Earth”, plummeting into the endless void we’ve seen in The Descent.....

Well, shit.

Anyway, I’m afraid that’s all I had to say lol, and if you actually made it this far, thank you so much for engaging in this insanity. 😁 (And sorry if this turned out to be a total waste of your time. 😂)

Though I do have to mention, what actually prompted me to write this post in the first place, was seeing how some people are expecting Solas to be at the White Spire now after reading the synopsis of the upcoming comic series “The Missing” (if you want to know why, skip to the end of this post lol). The White Spire being an Antivan mountain with a very particular shape (at least according to this illustrated map of Thedas that came with every copy of Tevinter Nights).

(I can see where this thing got its name from. lol It almost reminds me of a volcano? 😂)

Which just so happens to ALSO kinda resemble the shape of the “upside down mountain” shaped Dread Wolf from the 2020 mural....

So.. take from this information whatever you like, because I don’t know anything anymore... My head hurts from all this spinning. I’m out. 🥴

#tinfoil time #trespasser #solas #mythal #da4 #dragon age 4 #this is probably the most tinfoil I'll ever get lol #but this one is so much fun to think about for some reason 😂#anyway good night lol

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actress4him · 6 months

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Whumptober 2023 - Day 26 - In Irons

This one is…a little boring, in my opinion, but hey, it’s the third to the last piece I’m writing for this event and I’m just thankful I haven’t completely burned out, only slowed down! Also if you like exhaustion this may not be boring to you at all lol

Taglist: @darthsutrich , @a-series-of-whumpy-events , @ladydani101 , @thingsthatgowhumpinthenight , @annablogsposts

Masterlist

No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.” | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

Contains: lady whump, forced labor, brief and not completely serious sui ideation

It’s been almost two days since Adelaide last slept. Captain Payne had her on night watch last night, for the second time this week. All the men on board take turns staying up, and it never seems to faze them. She sees them running about the ship the next day as always, shimmying up masts and across ropes like they’re well rested.

Maybe that makes her pathetic, or dramatic. But as much as she hates the way they look down their noses at her weakness, she is weaker than they are. Before being brought onto this ship, her days were filled with embroidery and supervising the household staff and receiving callers and occasionally going out for a horse ride.

Now, she spends her time on her hands and knees, scrubbing the deck until her knees are bruised and her back aches. She pulls ropes with muscles that are barely starting to develop and stay constantly sore, and with hands that used to be delicate and pale but are now reddened and covered in blisters. She shoves heavy crates around to make room for more of the Captain’s loot.

And when she’s done with all of that, if she’s lucky, she’s sent to the galley to chop and stir and tend the coals. Otherwise, it’s back to even more scrubbing.

She can keep up with all of the work most days. But she’s absolutely exhausted at night, collapsing into her hammock and falling asleep almost instantly. That means that, to her, having to stay up all night for watch duty is one of the worst things she can be assigned. It sets her back on all of her tasks the next day, which just causes the Captain to pile even more on her. Her weary, sluggish work a couple of days ago is what prompted him to assign her to night watch again after just one night of sleep, she’s sure of it.

There are just a few more hours left now until she can sleep, though. He won’t make her stay up two nights in a row. She thinks she might just throw herself off the side of the ship if he did. He’s already had her scrubbing for most of the day, a sure sign of his displeasure with her, so hopefully that will be enough to appease him until tomorrow.

Adelaide puts all of her focus into the rope that she’s coiling. It’s heavy with sea water, and her arms protest each time she lifts it. The salt bites into the blisters that had burst open earlier in the day. But she has to get finished. She can’t be slow, doesn’t need to give the Captain any more excuses to punish her.

“You look awful.”

Turning her head wearily toward Marshall, she scowls. “That’s no way to speak to a lady.”

The corners of his mouth twitch a little as if he might actually smile. “Sorry. You do look exhausted, though.”

“I am,” she sighs, returning her attention to her work. “But it’s not much longer until I can turn in. I’ll be fine.”

He watches her in silence for a moment. “You know, it’s impressive, what you’re doing here.”

“Coiling rope?”

“No, working on this ship. I know it’s far from what you’re accustomed to, but you’ve jumped in and done what needs to be done. I’ve seen gentlemen of your class fail miserably and eventually get tossed overboard. I don’t believe any of us ever expected you to fare so much better.”

She doesn’t know what to do with that compliment. Succeeding at working on a pirate ship, at surviving a tyrant of a captain, is not something she ever wanted to accomplish, not something she feels proud of. But she appreciates it, nonetheless. Most probably haven’t even noticed how hard she’s working, and certainly don’t care.

“Thank you. I’m only trying to survive.”

“I know you are. But the fact that you have is what’s impressive.” He clears his throat. “When you’re done there, Captain wants you in the galley.”

Adelaide just nods, finishing the last of the rope. Cooking is the easiest task she has, despite how hot it can get. “I’ll go there now.”

She takes two unsteady steps, feet heavy like her boots are filled with lead, and feels the need to reach out for the railing to support herself. Unfortunately, she doesn’t quite reach far enough. Her balance is thrown off, and she stumbles, dizzy and lacking the strength to right herself.

Just before she falls gracelessly onto the deck, though, Marshall catches her by her arm. “Whoa. Do you need me to walk with you to the galley?”

Frowning, she shakes her head adamantly and pulls her arm away politely but firmly. “No, thank you. I don’t need the Captain seeing me as weaker than he already does. I’m only tired. I told you, I’ll be fine.”

Marshall takes a step back and nods. “Very well. Take care of yourself, Miss Gray.”

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