#so obviously im going to be bias here

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

Parental groups r weird, but I got the feeling like ppl r again violently trying to accomplish their own goals using children, to show off the school or their high morals u know. That’s may sound alien, but if I’m still a teen, and I actually want to discover the world myself, derive my own views and opinions, can I like go without those lessons of gender studies etc. Like I don’t want teachers/relatives and random people telling me what to do and what to think, I want to have a right to choose my own courses and be free with that. Bannings r stupid, but it’s even dumber to be fed forcibly with something I’m not ready to consume or waste time on. Does this go only in one direction?

I mean I'm definitely one who thinks there are happy mediums in every conflict, but most sides take the stance of "my way or the highway", so it's hard to really satisfy anyone without completely alienating the other.

I think it's important to at least approach the ideas of gender studies, sexualities, etc with developing teenagers because that's when they really start to discover themselves. Some kids struggle with labeling new feelings or confusion they might experience, so it would help to give them a stepping stone, which they can then decide to pursue further with elective courses if they feel it resonates with them or just out of curiosity. And, even if none of those ideals apply to them, it's still good that they acknowledge such things exist and normalize it.

They don't have to be full blown core classes from grade 6 to 12 about the entire history of transgender identity, just a semester similar to health class that kids can later on select electives on if they want to continue exploring those topics, or never touch again. You can throw in the story of the Stonewall Riots during the civil rights lesson without turning it into propaganda as to why you, a 16 year old, must now label yourself as transgender. You can finally acknowledge the contributions women have made in the STEAM field that had been ignored or miscredited to men. You can read the letters or love poems of famous authors and say they were written to their same sex partner and leave it at that.

It's not about forcing kids to be one way or another, it's about exposing them to different ways of thinking and normalizing the outcomes.

#ask #anon #now granted i am a 24yo queer women so i am a) no longer in high school and b) in favor of these lessons being used in school #so obviously im going to be bias here #but i also understand that as a kid if you don't vibe with something you obiviously don't want to take it #i became an art and science major you think i wanted to take like 6 years of history classes????? fuck no #but at the end of the day i do think its important to be exposed to certain things even if they don't apply to you now or ever #if only for you to be able to better understand yourself and others #when i was in the middle school we only learned about homo/bisexuality when we had the AIDS/HIV health lesson #which only furthered the stigmata that being queer made you sick and dirty #versus if we had had a week long lesson of like 'okay some people are this some people are that and some people are inbetween' #and then moving on #think of it more like a political science class #they teach you about the different types of governing and what certain parties stand for #and then its totally up to you want you want to label yourself as afterwards #the learning is unbiased and no party is more right than the other #it's just about whatever resonates with you and your beliefs the best #you don't come out of it like 'hmm i think im republican' and your teacher is like 'ew no immediate fail'

[chisatowo]

Y'know not to be a party pooper but I think ppl should start thinking abt their queer hcs for more than five seconds when making hcs for characters. Like I think ppl get too comfy in the "fuck you, they're all gay/trans/whatever!" mindset sometimes and that sort of spiteful gut instinct way of going abt it can lead to some. Honestly rly gross hcs. Like I mainly just think ppl should examine their gut instincts before just stamping it on, because sometimes gut instincts are unconscious bias, and like it's not inherently evil to have a queer character that somewhat lines up with a stereotype sometimes, real people can as well, but like you've gotta handle that shit with care and caution man, looking at you non lesbians having mean lesbian hcs

#rat rambles #rat rants #Im so so tired sorry if this is nobsense gndjdndh #but yeah this applies to literally every queer identity man pls just be normal guys #I rly dont want to assume the worst in ppl when they have shitty looking queer hcs if I dont know all the context but like god damn #like I said I rly do think its possible to write characters that overlap with some stereotypes without making them a stereotype #like obviously it depends on the stereotype and who the person writing the character is but still #Id also argue that in many cases showcasing these sort of ppl in a nuanced and in depth light is incredibly important #like for example Id fucking kill for neurodivergent aspec rep that didnt treat us as babies or aliens #I dont want both groups to be lumped together so offensively all the time as is common now but like. neurodivergent aspecs do exist #and we deserve good representation too yknow? #I feel similar abt a lot of aspects of my identity. which is why it makes me sad how lacking in critical thinking skills ppl are sometimes #like ppl on here will rly just list the most offensively sterotypical queer hcs Ive seen in my life and get pissy when ppl point it out #and Ive ranted abt this before but theres also a lot of ppl that I dont think actually like. get most of these negative sterotypes. #like vaguely understanding theyre bad but not understanding why theyre bad #so in an attempt of writing a nuanced versions of stereotypes they just. portray stereotypes. #I think another thing thatd help here is if it was a more commonly accepted mindset that you can accidentally write shitty rep #like characters can 100% fall into a shitty stereotype and it be an 100% incredibly bad thing regardless of the writers intentions #and more likely than not youre going to fall into this when trying to add more representation to your story. social bias runs strong man #and like its obviously a case to case basis but like usually if you find out that your doing smth unintentionally shitty just change it bro #like idc how much of your hcs or whatever is built off of it if you find out youre being shitty with a certain identity fucking change shit #this applies to much more than just queer identities ofc like seriously pls listen to ppl when they criticise you #also let yourself criticise yourself! like obviously you can never perfectly capture smth you havent experienced but if you suspect that #an aspec of a hc or oc might be problematic then like look into it yourself you dont need to wait to be called out on it #alright yeah my brain is melting so bad rn I should shut up before I just mindkessly ramble all night long dndndjdh

[caroloftheshells]

long post re theory pedagogy again

the other thing about that vid (and another thing! lol) being that hierarchically a lot of the people doing the more interesting or out-there research and diversifying the field from a content perspective (and, tbh, demographically) are like grad students or early-career people who don’t even necessarily have any pedagogical flexibility & tend to be slotted in to teach lower-level theory courses-- whose outcomes are predetermined not only by general screwy nasm strictures but by whatever the professor down the line in the curriculum is teaching / expects people to know when they get there. and we get paid (much) less also than tenured professors. which is really a generic “thing about all academia” that doesn’t necessarily become a nefarious personal flaw on the part of said scholars and instead ought to be addressed at a structural level bc the scale of the issue exceeds individual instructors’ spheres of influence.

BUT music occupies such a fucked “totally separate from society” space in many ppl’s imaginations that it’s like oh man how dare it have the same issues as every other field of scholarship bc it shouldn’t “really” be a matter of scholarship in the first place. ie music is culturally rendered a “nothing matters just feel it” / “everything is ephemeral and there is only Innate Talent and nothing can be taught” sort of field such that any intellectualizing thereof &/or suggestion of learnabilty / non-innateness is deemed, like, boring & regressive by some people & i’d say especially people raised with a certain awareness of the “composer-genius” culture of wam education. like i’m completely on the “fuck partwriting parallel fifths are awesome” train as a matter of taste (for example) but that does not mean that learning what parallel fifths are-- and why some old european guys didn’t like them *bc they preferred it to sound like there was more than one voice and it’s easier to create that perceptually w/o an overtone effect* (eg)-- is going to like destroy your artistic Essence and make you a worse musician bc now you’re no longer an empty vessel put on this earth to channel brahms or whoever. & plus i think perpetuating the synonymizing of theory-as-field with wam harmonic rules not only is like factually misrepresentative of current research but also is sort of a self fulfilling prophesy such that ppl who would otherwise have completely fascinating things to say & questions to ask are discouraged from non-platitudinous & open-ended (theoretical) inquiry re the content and aims of their own rep & listening, and tacitly learn that composers’ ~~genius~~ descended from the heavens & you either get it or you don’t, you either “have talent” as a composer or you don’t, et cetera

#Which I Maintain is dangerous not bc i think there is a set method of learning all music(s) obviously but bc that's how you get like #weird essentialism & i'm thinking especially abt anecdotes i've heard re: vocal pedagogy where ppl have been subjected to (...) #racial discrimination; gender discrimination; fatphobia / discrimination based on having or not having a certain 'look' to go w your voice #& told they are 'naturally' inclined to sing or study certain genres of music & shouldn't try anything else (not even ranges! whole genres) #which is maybe sort of tangential but i think stems from this same deal of 'you just have to Feel it' & such #the idea of music as ephemeral and quasi-spiritually channeled such that you lose something if you approach it w scrutiny #or if you have to break it down in a way that; in its detail & precision; reads as divorced from immediate aesthetic judgment #the idea that there's some magic there not to be explained; that composition thus is a special ineffable pursuit for special people. bleh #& the... in depth research and nuance and hesitancy to have a snappy take that like ime culturally describes many theorists. is good #& is; again ime; something valued by several music scholars who sought it out as a Way Out Of a certain brand of meritocratic bullshit #toward a different brand of weird pedantry of course but i think it has its place despite being hooked academically 2 a toxic music culture #in the sense that; for sure; there are egregious issues; but the repertoire bias is unilaterally present in wam circles #& it's like well. your problem is 'with' the textbooks but since when has a so called 'voice degree' #at your average som / public institution without enormous fucking tons of money #unlike idk berklee lol #actually regarded choral singing; musical theatre; art song; rock vocals; et cetera with the same seriousness as a wagnerian opera career #and made a variety of music available from a performance perspective as well. i mean my undergrad was vaguely ok here but On The Whole... #bigger fish re funding in notated-music industry and degrees as job prep for shrinking market etc #anyway though...... i value myself too much to be a youtuber lol #imagine me appending that 'just saying things recreationally' post to this post #carol overreacts to life #theorycomp tag

[mr-ribbit]

this isn't meant to soften or reduce the objective transmisogyny + additional hate action going into this, but since the people running these harassment campaigns are acting like they're literal baby children who need their hands held to understand anything, maybe this needs to be said:

what you're doing and how you treat trans women on this website is fucking MEAN. if you want to sit there and honestly convince yourself that you're *not* a transmisogynist or a transphobe or a misogynist or any other type of bigot - like if you genuinely believe that and are confused why people are calling you these things - then maybe we need to start from little primary colored building blocks and tell you that you're being fucking mean and rude and actively harmful to real people who read the things you say. im not sure why we need to start off with "trans women have feelings" - just kidding I know exactly why we need to - but maybe you don't.

no matter who you're talking to, do you honestly think accusing someone you do not know of being a pedophile, en masse, behind their back /and/ in a public forum, is a reasonable way to treat someone for making a tumblr post about video games or political opinions? even if you strongly disagree with the post, you think someone deserves to be treated like that by people they don't know? take a second please and sincerely imagine how that would feel. wouldn't it be scary? wouldn't you wonder who the people were who thought this about you - if they're people you know - if they're just a few people that will continue saying mean things to you forever or if there are thousands of people who choose to dedicate their time and energy specifically to making you feel bad? if you accidentally write a post in the wrong tone or unknowingly interact with a shitty person, that there are uncountable people that will keep track of that just to hurt you later? that's fucking horrifying

and to zone in on what's specifically happening here: do you think randomly accusing people of being pedophiles or sexual abusers has no effect on them? like a lot of you tend to excuse yourself in these discussions by saying "I didn't actually see the context of what they were saying" or "I didn't see that they apologized already" or "I didn't actually understand the post was a joke" or whatever other kneejerk response to make sure *you* aren't seen as a bad person. do you realize that makes you look even meaner? you didn't bother to actually follow up on a thought you had about someone before sending them hateful messages or making public accusations about them? those actions are harmful whether or not you like the victim at the end of the day.

believe it or not some people you send this shit to are survivors of abuse themselves, or have their own historical personal reasons to be weighing in on a touchy subject. when you baselessly decide it's ok to call someone an abuser of any type, that person is probably *also* disgusted by whatever horrible shit you're accusing them of. as someone that hates these things as much as you do in order to attack someone for them: what do you think it's like to have complete strangers think that about you? how many eggshells would you walk on if random people thought so little of you that they were ok doing this?

it's mean. it's heinous, cruel bullying, and if you genuinely think you are not doing it from a place of transmisogyny or hatefuk bias over the victims' identity, then you need to understand that that's not an excuse. "i didn't even know she was trans" ok, it was still mean to call her a pedophile with 200 of your closest friends in public. "im trans so it can't be transphobia" ok it was still mean to assume someone was endorsing abuse when they were talking about being accused of abuse. "i didn't see the post where she said it was a joke" ok it was still mean to actively harass someone without bothering to look into the full context.

at the end of the day, yes, obviously I still think you're all transmisogynist assholes who are clearly willing to gang up on a woman who has nothing to do with your problems simply because she dared to speak on them. i think you're bigoted and unwilling to examine that if it means giving up your vitriol against someone who doesn't like your favorite video game or whatever excuse of the week. but like even if you were just doing it for love of the hate game, it's fucking weird heinous shit and i hope you're happy having that be a central part of your life

to be clear: im not transfemme and if I'm overstepping or talking over anyone please let me know. im not speaking for anyone's actual experiences except my own, which is the experience of being angry at how much literal bullying and harassment I see excused on this so-called progressive queer blogging website

#cw transmisogyny discussion #cw discourse idk #sorry pls tell me if im out of line and for gods sake dont go harass anyone ELSE if you dont like my post

[unreversedumbrella]

season 3 was a true loss for gay teru. i'm not really talking about shipping. (what is canon doesn't really matter for what people ship) its the fact that teru is implicitly gay in the manga, and very on the nose about it, but not in the anime. there are little moments, toned down versions of what we see in the manga. breadcrumbs compared to the original. but i don't want breadcrumbs. i want the whole bread.

i want this:

note: teru "shines" when talking with mob (from an omake and his shopping trip), something usually reserved to mob talking about tsubomi, but i have to reread the manga and confirm that.

so lets see why the manga works but the anime doesn't. i want to touch two scenes for now. again, i need to reread the manga

lets start with this gem of a line:

i made a post complaining about this, but people misunderstood my point at the time. its not about the words its about the face (although i think handsome makes more sense, the original means both cool looking and handsome). its about the overly serious gaze. an explanation i like is that, in the manga, teru is caugh by surprise (you can see him nervously thinking about what to say) which leads him to lose his composure.

this is the first and only time teru comments on mobs physical appearance, only to say he's handsome in a overly serious and nervous way. its far from the stereotypical getting all flustered reaction, but its still very obvious that teru doesn't really feel confident enough to share these feelings

you could say that anime teru has been waiting for this moment. he saw an opportunity and took it. but it takes off a bit of the impact, doesn't it?

once again bones changing teru's expressions. my personal interpretation is that teru is saying this both to mob, and himself. my idea is that he doesn't want mob to go out with tsubomi, but at the same time he doesn't want to get in the way. the latter feeling is probably aided by the idea that mob is perfect, an unachievable goal.

after his idea of mob gets less god like, this feeling disappears, which leads to my favourite:

this right here? THIS?? this is THE proof that teru is in love with mob. and its so on the nose im amazed studio bones had the guts to not show it.

this is really simple, so let start. while tome, mob and ritsu talk about tsubomi, their speak bubbles overlap a panel of a distressed teru. which obviously connects their conversation with teru's annoyance. its obvious the idea of mob dating tsubomi annoys him because he also has a desire, even if unconcious (but lets be real) to be with mob

AND THE ANIME GETS RID OF EVERYTHING. by showing teru after the conversation is over, they separate these ideas. if there was anything to separate that is! because they also got rid of teru's pained look! giving this more of a "someone just enjoying his tea" vibe. it was such a simple scene and they managed to ruin it

and people talking about the loud obnoxious slurp! i hear you. i get you!

but i can't do this!! this is breadcrumbs! i don't wanna do mental gymnastics to see him as "suffering inside" when its so obvious in the manga that he is suffering OUTSIDE (also mostly because this goes with the "you need a terumob bias to see this as terumob" idea i was going for in the beginning)

in conclusion

#mp100 #shigeo kageyama #teru hanazawa #teruki hanazawa #terumob #mp100 spoilers #mine

[midnight---hollow]

Ok i need to yap for a second

I love how well written and thought out the ipc is in honkai star rail. I feel in general we dont always get the best discussions about capitalism and giant corps because said giant corps are usually sponsoring or are creating them most of the time so there is usually bias. I just saw some of the boothill story lore leaks and im not gonna talk about them here cus leaks but it gave me real big appreciation for how the ipc is handled.

Im personally a real big fan of complicated situations in my fictional stories. Ever since mob psycho ive gained a new lens of trying to find sympathy and reason for any situation, keeping my own opinions and preferences while still understanding the other side. I feel star rail has done a great job at show casing the many sides of the ipc even if i for one really dont like the ipc and its my least favorite organization

(I feel i should also say this is an opinion piece and im not informed enough on the real life issues as i would like to be. I just want to yap my opinion out and express why i find joy in this and maybe even come back later with more research to make another post but with references and proof to explain why besides what i remember and like. If i do get anything wrong then please inform me cus i would like to learn more about this and plan to)

|Spoilers for basically all the ipc related things in hsr|

I started out hating them cus i just dont like capitalist corps and they just rubbed me the wrong way. When the arum alley event happen i was originally pissed at it because even though it was confirming my beliefs of “big corp bad” it felt cheap and like almost every other story told by a big corp trying to tell us big corps are bad. Yknow the “look at this obviously in the wrong guy dont be like him, look at him get his comeuppances in the end and ignore how we actually are alot more complicated and worse than this super evil and obvious example”

arum alley then did something i didnt expect. It gave nuance to the story. It started out with that obvious example yes but the next one wasnt that obvious, the next part of the event talked about how some workers feel they wont be able to sustain their lives as independent workers and feel they need to work for the big corps for a safe job and it started getting into the logistics of big corp vs independent business. Yeah we where fighting them but there where reasons and concerns and fears to be given. It wasnt just big corp bad it was “yeah big corp bad but here is why and here is also how its good” and it brings up the questions on what can be done so we dont need to rely on big corp

Topaz and her whole arc is another situation i find interesting. Topaz is a character i dont care to much about to be honest but i think she plays a good role in this whole ipc debacle. To me she feels like she represents someone who used the system because they needed to and made it work and flourished in the system. Her planet was basically unlivable and she lived in a capitalist waste that failed. In comes the ipc and they are almost what her world was but better for they offer to help and save them. All they need to do is sign their lives away to join the ipc and they did and their planet flourished because of it. Topaz herself was able to rise the ranks into being a cornerstone. I think her story shows both the light and dark of the ipc because they saved her planet but they only did it because it benefited them, if they didnt sign their lives away it is very likely topaz and everyone on her planet would have suffocated from the toxins and died. They had no choice but to join the system and its stated in game that topaz’s planet is one of the few that where able to be saved.

That’s probably what i like most about the playable ipc characters, it reminds us that these big corps arent just mustache twirling bad guys, it reminds us there are people there just trying to keep going and some of them are genuinely trying to do right and think what they are doing is right. Again topaz for example, she genuinely believes what she was doing was for the good of belabog. She saw a planet so similar to her own and i think she did what she thought was right and tried to help them (i dont think what she did was right but i can see where she comes from in thinking its right) i also think its showing that when she learned their was a way out for belabog that allowed them to not give their lives away to the ipc she gave in and stopped trying to convince them. She risked her own job security to allow them that right and because she didnt force an entire planet of innocent people who just got out of a horrible situation to sign their souls away (including the children mind you) she got demoted. Im not saying that she deserves a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum esp after she tried killing us, she is a rich, a conerstone, owns an exotic pet that she throws into battle and design her gun after, is a high member of said capitalist big corps, im just saying this is a very nuanced and interesting situation that i like to think about because there are so many thoughts and arguments

The whole belabog vs ipc thing was interesting in general for me because i think it was just such a good concept to bring forth the conversation of the goods and bads of big corps. Technically the ipc does have the right to want their century old debt repaid (ignoring the fact we later learned the robots where never used i think idk the end was confusing ngl) yet also at the same time we as people have a hard time siding with them when belabog didnt even know they where in debt because they where so isolated because of the stellaron and they just got out of the stellaron crisis and are trying to make their world habitable and yknow survive. We cant blame them for being unable to pay a humongous debt when these where the same people who stood in awe as march shower them a photo of their planet that she took while on the express. It creates a situation where yeah technically the giant corp has a right to take that money because its theirs but its still feels so cruel to make them have to cough it up right now with only a few days time. Belabog is basically forced to sign that deal because there is no way they could have payed that off they where doomed the moment topaz set foot on the planet. I remember talking to each of the people in belabog and getting their opinions on the matter and constantly having to rethink my stance because there where so many good points for why they should and so many for why they shouldnt. I can go on and on about this but this bit is already to long.

Aventurine!!! Aventurine aventurine oh where to start. Unlike topaz i actually like aventurine alot he is just such a well written character but we arent here to talk about how amazing him and the games writing is we are here to talk about the capitalist cooperation he is a cog in. Aventurine in a sense has a similar story to topaz but its more cruel and less happy. The ipc didnt save him, the ipc what going to arrest him and its thanks to his luck and a deal with the devil (or in this case a bet with a snake) that he was able to become aventurine.

I havent seen the writen stuff for him in his characters story because i dont have him but i will say from what i saw during the main story, something i question alot is what the ipc did during the avgin genocide. This might be a small tangent but the avgins said they had the support of the ipc. What happened that caused for the entire avgin civilization to be wiped out when they had the help of people with better weapons and armor and equipment. Apart of me is nihilistic enough to think the ipc didnt really care for saving the avgins and might have used the katakans attack as a way to know out the two groups that where causing them the most trouble but at the moment i dont know if theres anything supporting this theory so its just a crack theory

Aventurines spot in penacony is again interesting. Penacony is a prison planet of the ipc, that was taken over and turned into a party paradise thanks to the hamrony, family, and a stellaron. Aventurines goal was supposed to be to put penacony back in the ipcs control and to be honest i cant tell if thats his plan or not because of how crazy and confusing the story was (i loved it) but that being said it is another example how how grey ipc is. It isnt just a big bad corp there are people with lives and in avens case, people trying to gain their freedom with any risks necessary. I also think again the ipcs role in penacony is like belabog, very interesting, just for different reasons.

Penacony is based off America and in this case im assuming the ipc is their Britain. I feel like if you ask most people they would say that the ipc is the only group in penacony they hope fails (minus aventurine again i feel everyone wants aven to succeed even if we want ipc to fall) but i think the family being as grey as they are (basically a cult and also a representation of newer day amarica and its “its us or them” mentality in a way. I can make another yap ses about that lmao) adds an air of mystery and confusion on who we want to succeed since they are on two very different sides of the board so if one wins the other loses. It makes it feel like a fight of two big corps against each other and not really knowing who to support. Do you want to support the capitalist or the cult, pick your poison. We need the rest of penacony for me to go more in-depth on my opinion of ipc here and to rant but i can say its already making me question and argue both sides with what we have seen so far

That was fun for me. I havent ranted on tumblr in a long long time but hsr has been my recent hyperfixation and again boothill makes me crazy. While writing this is made me start to think about how much i wanted to talk about the hidden story of immigration i feel penacony is aso trying to tell. I think penacony is handling so many deep and interesting topics and im very excited for the next update. This has made me hyped to talk about the immigration stuff but i want to do reaserch and gain a proper strong stance besides “thats just my opinion.” I think this is an interesting topic and yapping about it made me want to do more reaserch on the topics of capitalism and big corps cus i hate them but i also think its important to know about it and understand there is more to the issue than just stingy old white rich people. I havent even gotten to jade yet. When we learn more about her imma have some words prob

Srry this was long but anyways cant wait till boothill comes out so i can get him and his light cone

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr ipc #ipc #hsr topaz #hsr aventurine #topaz #aventurine #boothill #midnight rants #long post

[nekropsii]

hello!I have a question about your alpha troll iceberg.

When did kurloz sexually assault meulin?I cannot find the source for it on my own.

I’m also a little skeptical since:

1.kurloz feels some form of guilt for deafening meulin.Not as much guilt as he shows,considering how he technically breaks his oath of silence by using his purpleblood magic

2.he isn’t openly sexual other than getting the codpiece,which I view as him following any orders from gamzee and/or lord English.And also his game sprite may have a bulge to it?im not sure about my second point

3.i don’t know why he would do that because he doesn’t abuse meulin that way.In openbound 2,he treats meulin more as an easy pawn to assist him in his malicious plans to help lord english & gamzee rather than sexually assaulting her to ruin her and then manipulating her.

I’m really curious to know when this happened,since it would reframe his already atrocious actions as even worse

Also I have a bias since I have a weird attachment to kurloz for no canon compliant reason.

Hopefully this isn’t too long…it probably is but I hope 8]

I applaud the thoroughness, actually, and thank you for reaching out. I love when people ask me to Cite My Sources, so to speak.

It's in one of the Signing portions of their interactions, so I do not necessarily blame you for missing it.

This is clearly non-consensual touching that is being framed as Upsetting on Meulin's end and Deliberately Creepy on Kurloz's.

I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Well, I feel bad about it, obviously, assault is literally always bad, but I really cannot decipher Kurloz as a character. Not fully, really, 'cuz he doesn't have much of one. To me, this reads as a pure, unadulterated Makara Moment, and I'm frankly just kind of tired of it. Kurloz's character is just a nebulous haze of Plot Instigation and Racism. Gamzee's character is also just a nebulous haze of Plot Instigation and Racism. These are both characters who are coded as Black, who are portrayed as being very dominating, abusive, and physically + sexually violent - especially Gamzee. Kurloz doing this is weird, but it's not... Shocking, I guess.

His relationship with Meulin is absolutely, uh... Troubled... To put it nicely... What, with him manipulating her into a cult and mind controlling her into doing his bidding all the time, on top of this assault, the Bullshit Clown Magic having the side effects of Confusion, Brain Fog, and Memory Loss, and her still seeming to have some kind of suppressed attraction to him... It's complicated. I think it could be genuinely very fascinating to explore, if one has the stomach for it. And a deft enough hand... And is capable of handling it all with maximum sensitivity. It's verging on something really good... But it falls kind of flat, and it's fucking exhausting that we're having this same damn conversation with another fucking Makara.

This could be done extremely well. There's some genuinely solid grounds here for exploring a very complex, very visceral abusive relationship, kind of like what was going on with Gamzee and Terezi, but... There was both just not enough time to set that up fully, and also I am so tired of Makaras being Like That.

I wish I could say this was surprising. I really do. It's not, though. It's like... On par with Gamzee being kind of a Necrophile. I just have to sigh and throw my hands up and accept it. Like, god dammit, okay, I guess we're doing this today! Sure! Whatever! Fuck my life.

#homestuck #homestuck meta #homestuck analysis #alpha trolls #beforan trolls #dancestors #kurloz makara #meulin leijon #cw assault #cw abuse #cw racism #kurloz.pdf #meulin.pdf #nekro.pdf #nekro.sms #icebergposting

[matan4il]

hi quick question: what do u know about the lavender ai post that's circulating? i saw it on this fact checking blog i follow and they made it seem legit but im not convinced

Hi Nonnie!

Before I get into this specific subject, I just wanna tell you that for me personally, this war has been an eye opener about how little some "fact checking" sites are worth. I've read several articles on that type of site, which could have used some fact checking themselves. In some cases, they had author names attached to them, and when checking the authors out, it was easy to find that they were not free of bias themselves. So... yeah. Take "fact checking sites" with a grain of salt. Even journalists sometimes get it wrong, and they're held to higher standards, and have more personal accountability, than most "fact checking sites," not to mention that the latter often simply rely on a selection of journalistic sources, but sometimes without really taking into account which are reliable, and which aren't.

As for the lavender AI issue specifically, I heard it briefly referenced on the news, during a discussion panel, and it was brought up in the context of recent conspiracy theories about Israel. The panelists were so clear on how obviously false these all were, they didn't even really get into refuting any of them.

A bit like how, in the past, when watching panelists discussing antisemitic tropes reincarnated as anti-Israel lies, I saw them bring up the one claiming Israel set up a field hospital in Haiti after the earthquake in order to harvest organs, which is obviously a new version of "the Jews are bloodthirsty" without bothering to refute it, because to Israelis, it's evident that it's bullshit. Not only because we're aware that we're not actually those evil creatures, lusting for death and destruction, that the anti-Israel crowd likes to portray us as, but also because we know that the constant terrorist attacks here have made Israel a world leader in the field of emergency medicine (here's an example: even the antisemitic UN had to admit an IDF unit was the best medical emergency team in the world), so that's the actual reason we set up that field hospital, much like we use our experience to help others in basically every disaster around the world that's willing to accept aid from Israel (and sometimes we operate even in places like Syria, where technically, we're defined as an enemy state, so all of the aid had to be provided directly to private people, and while keeping their identity a secret, so their own government can't presecute them for receiving it).

Anyway, since the TV discussion didn't get into refuting what they clearly saw as an absurd, hateful lie, I went online in search of more info, and found that this news venturing into mainstream media happened in The Guardian, a British news source known for its anti-Israel bias, to the point where a female black, non-Jewish journalist of theirs felt the need to point it out all the way back in 2003, and in Nov 2023, a Jewish employee of theirs had published a personal piece about feeling unsafe there, and looking for another place of employment. But the source that The Guardian is quoting, is actually not a proper journalistic publication, it's an anti-Israel propaganda blog based magazine, which includes Israeli anti-Zionists and Palestinians, publishing in English since its audience is very much not Israelis despite claiming that they want to inspire change in Israel, and responsible for systematically vilifying the country and spreading lies about it.

If I, as an Israeli, thought that something was wrong with a system the IDF is using, and wanted to see real change in my army, I wouldn't go to a publication that isn't journalistic in nature, that doesn't publish in a local language, that most Israelis have never heard about, and that those who did, don't trust, because of its known anti-Israel reputation. That in itself makes me suspicious.

The IDF gave a statement in response to questions presented by The Guardian, based on the aforementioned piece. It's a bit long, but here are the main references to the claimed AI system Lavender (emphasis added by me):

Some of the claims portrayed in your questions are baseless in fact, while others reflect a flawed understanding of IDF directives and international law.

The process of identifying military targets in the IDF consists of various types of tools and methods, including information management tools, which are used in order to help the intelligence analysts to gather and optimally analyze the intelligence, obtained from a variety of sources. Contrary to claims, the IDF does not use an artificial intelligence system that identifies terrorist operatives or tries to predict whether a person is a terrorist. Information systems are merely tools for analysts in the target identification process. According to IDF directives, analysts must conduct independent examinations, in which they verify that the identified targets meet the relevant definitions in accordance with international law and additional restrictions stipulated in the IDF directives.

The “system” your questions refer to is not a system, but simply a database whose purpose is to cross-reference intelligence sources, in order to produce up-to-date layers of information on the military operatives of terrorist organizations. This is not a list of confirmed military operatives eligible to attack.

For each target, IDF procedures require conducting an individual assessment of the anticipated military advantage and collateral damage expected. Such assessments are not made categorically in relation to the approval of individual strikes. The assessment of the collateral damage expected from a strike is based on a variety of assessment methods and intelligence-gathering measures, in order to achieve the most accurate assessment possible, considering the relevant operational circumstances. The IDF does not carry out strikes when the expected collateral damage from the strike is excessive in relation to the military advantage. In accordance with the rules of international law, the assessment of the proportionality of a strike is conducted by the commanders on the basis of all the information available to them before the strike, and naturally not on the basis of its results in hindsight.

The IDF outright rejects the claim regarding any policy to kill tens of thousands of people in their homes.

Some things about the claims in that piece don't work out IMO. Like, the number of fatalities if indeed there's an AI system, which produced a list of 37,000 Hamas and PIJ terrorists, with an automatic green light to kill between 15 to 100 civilians per each, especially in the first months of the war, and even assuming they couldn't target them all during that period of time (we do know most Hamas units have been destroyed). There are about 1,500 terrorists in a Hamas battalion (source in Hebrew), and 4 are left in Rafah, so only about 6,000 Hamas terrorists are in the last area the IDF has not operated in yet. That would mean roughly 31,000 terrorists were accessible targets. Just for the sake of erring on the side of caution, let's assume 10 killed civilians per Hamas terrorist, instead of that piece's claimed 15-100 approved per target. This would produce somewhere around 341,000 people killed in the first months alone. Let's go even lower, let's say 5 civilians killed per terrorist instead of 15-100. That would mean 186,000 killed during those months. We are exactly 6 months into the war, and even Hamas' numbers (likely inflated) don't claim more than 33,000 as the total number of fatalities. The given numbers and directives in that so-called "article" just don't match the reality on the ground, but claim to explain it, and to prove that Israel is being callous with civilians' lives in Gaza.

I'll also add that the AI-based decision making described doesn't take into account the possible presence and harm to the lives of Israeli hostages held captive in Gaza. That's another thing that makes me doubt that piece, because the IDF commanders have repeatedly stated their commitment to bringing back all the hostages, and as many alive as possible, and Israeli soldiers more than once risked their own lives to get them out, whether it was living people, or the bodies of Israelis who deserve to get to be buried back home, with their loved ones there, as in tact as possible. This scenario only works if we assume the Israeli commanders and soldiers have no sentiment for the lives of their own kidnapped civilians.

I guess that's what the piece's aim is. To play on people's fears of AI determining whether people will live or die, and to paint Israel as an evil, unfeeling, bloodthirsty entity, capable of anything, including of the inhumanity of letting computers decide the fate of human beings. The ease and speed with which people believe this, and spread this notion, before anyone has verified that Lavender is anything other than a database, just like the IDF says, feels like a demonstration of how all antisemitic blood libels are spread.

I hope this helped!

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #terrorism #anti terrorism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish #ask #anon ask #lavender

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

what's your take on odasaku and dazai's idealization of him?

also any takes you want to share about bsd/bsd in general?

(If you don't mind, I'm also interested in your thoughts about verlaine if thats ok 😭) tyty

who's your fave bsd character and whose the character from bsd you want to have more screen time?

i think its another case of projecting onto someone and it fucking things up. like notably how kouyou projects her own feelings abt light & dark onto kyouka. we just dont often see it that way because what oda does is like. stereotypically good? he uses his dying words to push a friend out of the dark. a death motivating others to act and furthering their character development is classic storytelling. you go into bsd knowing dazai is on the "good guys" side (not that the ada are "bad" but obviously reading bsd as a good guys vs bad guys story is. wrong), so clearly it worked out. so you kind of overlook the surrounding events yk? plus dazais own idolization of oda hammers that in. dazai tells atsushi that "He was a friend of mine (...) He’s the reason I quit the Port Mafia and joined the agency. I’d probably still be killing people for the mafia if it wasn’t for him" in dead apple (the lightnovel. im not going to go through pulling up the movie for this fhfhtndj). and so aside from previous bias people are going to take what dazai says at face value. hes thankful oda showed him the "side that saves people" and of course we're going to agree with that. the thing is. again. projection. now i havent actually finished dark era (i am working through it) but a lot of the time it feels like oda is just shoveling off all his feelings about being "someone meant for the darkness" onto dazai when thats something thats not going to be true for. well. anyone really? and his final conversation with dazai is very influenced by that. he says "You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live... (...) You won’t find it (...) You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity". now the thing is this is kind of a fucked up thing to say to an 18 year old with suicidal tendencies, but odas view of dazai makes it seem like a well needed wake up call. he obviously had good intentions. hes trying to "step into that solitude" but because of his flawed view of dazai he kind of. stumbles. dazai up to this point has been clinging onto the hope that he'd find a reason to live by observing the entire human experience. now oda comes along and dazai thinks hes found someone who understands him better than anyone, and oda tells him hes not going to find that. ever. so he should become a better person and make the world a good place. and also he's dying. so dazai, as we've seen, takes these words to heart. so hes not going to find a reason to live but he should also make the world a better place. good cool got that. so i think he gets a bit too comfortable being collateral for a good cause. and hes already convinced hes not going to find anything here, so of course hes not going to find anything. does that make sense.

i dont think ive phrased anything correctly here but like anyway i think with all his other friends around he'll be able to sort things out there. i cant see bsd ending without any sort of resolution for him in this regard yk.

#i cant say much on verlaine since ive read barely anything of stormbringer #like up to meeting shirase i think #flags death just fucked with me #from what i know hes also got projection issues. very common bsd theme #as for my favorite character... well you all dont know this but my favorite is actually Dazai #big shocker ik #as for screentime like..idk i miss everyone #i just want normal agency bullshit back #actually ykw i desperately want to see ranpo kyouka and atsushi as a trio #ranpos weird little siblings sweep gogogogogogo #aethers asks #swearing cw #longer post #anyway anyway anyway take this all with like 3 tablespoons of salt #i obviously havent read or watched as much bsd as i should have to be making these takes fhdhhsjs

[starflungwaddledee]

Okay you gave me permission so now it's time to go fully autistic

*inhale*

So something I'm really interested in (mostly for my Bandee x Marx bias) is that comic with Marx and Bandee interacting, like, what's their relationship in this au, how'd they get to that point and heck, what was even happening? also it kinda seems like Bandee may be the main guy in this au or is just really important which makes me happy as Bandee isn't treated the best by Nintendo at all (hell, Sakrai said he didn't add Bandee into smash because he didn't like him) so seeing Bandee get the spotlight always brings me joy

And about the Meta and Galacta comic, it seems like Bandee plays a factor here too, with the mention of him being what gets the most reaction out of Meta and that makes sense because canonically Bandee is the weakest of the four and most likely to die quite easily, so it would make sense for the others to be protective of him

ALSO META BEING SEALED AWAY AND GALACTA SAYING HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF, I'M ASSUMING BANDEE, DOES THAT MEAN GALACTA TAKES META'S PLACE??? HELLO???

anyway hi im really invested and also your art is fucking astounding

hell yea, fully autistic! the best kind of message! thank you also for the sweet words about my artwork ahhh! but hoo boy isn't this The Ask Ever. okay, let's get into it!

Bandee is, i think maybe obviously, my most specialist little guy ever and everything i make is likely about him in one way or another. so you're correct that he is indeed the main guy in both these AUs; he is the central protagonist which i think he deserves!!

(but he does also go through the angst blender a bit, just like... a warning. i adore happy endings but before that i do tend to meat-grind my faves pretty well in the drama machine.)

clockwork heart is actually a spin-off of awtdy (we do a little AU-ception in my household) which is our* primary au. (*a lot of my au work and headcanons are fleshed out very collaboratively with my girlfriend! the initial concept for awtdy was her idea, which i then very meanly shoved my bandee-important agenda into lmao)

awtdy sets this basic alternate world-state: during the Haltmann invasion, Galacta Knight defeats Meta Knight in battle and makes a wish on Star Dream to trade places.

this causes all sorts of terrible fun problems for everybody and basically gives rise to a bad timeline that a lot of folks do not come out of intact (rip floralia)

the Meta Knight vs Galacta Knight comic covers an important turning point in the story, where Meta Knight lets slip that he cares about Bandee the way he cares for Kirby. Meta Knight has an especially strong reaction to this for two reasons:

one is because, as you said, of the three remaining heroes Bandee is the most vulnerable-- seasoned and experienced fighter he may be, but against someone like Galacta Knight? 💦 he's still ultimately just a mortal dude. this obviously puts him at terrible risk, because Galacta Knight also considers him far more expendable than Kirby.

"i'll take good care of him" is transparently a threat and not actually... you know, kind.

secondly is because (unbeknownst to Galacta Knight) Bandee uniquely remembers Meta Knight. he knows that the timeline is screwed up and Galacta Knight is not meant to be there, and is actively working to rescue his real dad mentor. Meta Knight knows that if he's found out, Galacta Knight won't hesitate to kill him.

suffice to say the guilt of this would drive him capital i Insane!

as for the Marx "hurt like hell" comic, I am actually sorry to have to tell you that that scene is their first ever interaction in this au! 😂 in this alternate version of the story Marx is also aware of the timeline fuckery (due to his existence as an eldritch, temporal little creature) and he tracks Bandee down late in the game with a risky trade offer; which Bandee refuses. that's what's pictured in the comic!

it goes on for quite a long ways after that; though I don't know if it'll tickle your ship dynamic quite right because Marx is mildly antagonistic towards Bandee (and everyone) the whole time. so while they are cursed to be Stuck Together By The Narrative they are not really close or even particularly friendly.

they do indeed interact in it quite a lot, and I personally think Marx would gladly shoot his shot if he was offered it; but Bandee is neck-deep in a different ship for the entirety of awtdy and is especially miserable/pining as hell throughout clockwork heart.

but that's okay because Bandee is, uh-- totally fine!! he's normal. he's fine. he's very very fine and things will be very very okay.

#hopefully this last lil doodle is not too dark? #wanted to give u something for your marxdee needs bc i feel like i'm letting a fellow bandee rarepair shipper down 😭 #watch me skirt actually dropping my rarepair tho. even rarer than marxdee apparently! #anyway thank you so so much for this ask and your interest?! blew my mind that anyone cared even a little bit about the stuff i'm making <3 #my art #bandana waddle dee #awtdy au #clockwork heart au #asks #cw angst #cw blood

[whiteteadreams]

Lavender Sunflower

Pairing: Yang Jeongin x Female Reader

Preview: Normally, your body and mind refused to ever let you be in this stage, your guard was down, you were too relaxed. So happy, too happy, but Jeongin was able to do that, he was the only person to ever get you that relaxed. He was the only person you allowed yourself to not have your guard up around. He was Jeongin, and you loved Jeongin, a dangerous amount. Although dangerous, it was the only thing that kept you going.

Word Count: 7.1k

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, smut, established relationship

Warnings: Violence, murder, blood, knife use (not sexual...sorry guys), mature language/cursing, smut, possessiveness...JYP...doesn't make it out alive...he's also like a drug lord!

Smut Warnings: both are switches ig (not rlly dom/sub dynamic), tit/nipple play, slight body worship, riding, unprotected sex (pretend ur on birth control ig), it's pretty tame tbh, they dance sexually in a club!, mentioned breeding kink

a/n- i watched the show tulsa king with my parents, and it's a mob/gangster/mafia show, so that's why i wrote this, and jeongin has been bias wrecking me so... several months later: IM SO SORRY IT TOOK FOREVER OMG also...ik adding twice was a little odd, but i just wanted to imagine them holding guns! also...the fight scene is silly...I may rewrite it...I may not!

“How about I get you another drink, something stronger?” The voice coming from your side caused you to lose the staring contest you were having with the man across the club. When you looked over at him, you had to stop yourself from wrinkling your nose and frowning. He was gross, to say the least. He was much older, dressed like a pimp, unkempt facial hair with food stuck in his beard, obviously prowling on young women. The human form of a pig.

Faking a smile, you politely declined his offer, knowing that he’d appreciate you playing hard to get. “I’m okay, thank you though.” Attempting to go back to staring at the man across the club, the man next to you decided that your rejection didn’t actually mean ‘no’. You felt him pull you closer to him by the arm that was now draped across your shoulders, his hand venturing near the swell of your breast. “Come on baby, I can show you a good time, l rented us a private room in the back. Your little friend over there can come watch me play with you too.” Glancing at the man mentioned, his jaw clenched and slightly nodded, just enough for you to notice it but discreet as well, so no one else did.

Giggling to cover up your discomfort when his hand squeezed your whole breast, you nodded eagerly, letting him take your hand, and leading you to the room. Trailing a bit behind him, as much as you could with his tight grip on your wrist. With the ability to see the back of his neck, you saw what you needed. The tip of a flame, a tattoo that symbolizes what he’s a part of, who he is. A skull on fire, in a circle of barbed wire.

Since the pig-man couldn’t see your face, your smile dropped, preparing for what was about to happen. The man from across the bar followed you once he was passed, your nerves were settled when you felt his hand on your lower back, standing guard behind you, not letting the pig-man out of his sight.

Your hand that wasn’t being held tightly traveled behind you, seeking the man across the bar’s. He returned your request to hold hands, immediately engulfing yours into his. The club was loud enough for him to whisper into your ear without the pig-man hearing, but with how much hair is growing in his ears, you doubt he had the best hearing anyways.

“It’ll be okay, just remember the plan, I’ll be right here if he pulls anything.” Although he broke character for the moment, you greatly appreciated the reassurance, thanking him with a nod of your head in his direction.

The pig-man stopped walking when he got to one of the many doors in the back of the club. You heard other women behind the series of the doors, some making sounds of pleasure, others of pain. He turned around and flashed you a smile of stained, yellow teeth. Remembering your role, you batted your eyelashes and bit your bottom lip seductively.

“Ladies first.” He stayed in the doorway, beer belly sticking out, forcing you to rub against him to get through the doorway. Pig-man moved for the man from across the club, but still let him go first, trying to assert his dominance.

Pig-man pointed at you and then the bed, he did the same to the man but to the chair in the corner. The cuck chair.

“Take off your clothes baby.” You looked at the man and then back to the pig-man. Throwing him your cheekiest smile you responded with, “Mmm, no. You first, wanna see you.” Both men smiled, for very different reasons.

“Now, now, darlin’ that isn’t what I told you to do, you’re going to listen to me. I don’t give a shit if I end up having to force you or not, but I will get what I want from you.” You felt disgusted when his smoky breath fanned across your face, and it was even worse when he kissed you, shoving his tongue in your mouth and wrapping his hand around your neck.

You looked at the other man and he nodded at you, telling you he was ready. Just as the pig-man shoved his hand up your dress to cup your sex, the other man grabbed his hair from his scalp, pulling him off of you. As he was about to yell, you saw him place a cloth over his mouth and nose, making him breath in the chemicals and then collapsing.

The pig-man’s dead weight crushed your body until he was rolled off of you. You looked up in the dimly lit room and smiled at the other man. “Jeongin”. He helped you off the velvet bed, kicked the pig-man just for good measure and walked to the bag he had set by the chair, managing to keep it out of the pig-man’s sight.

“That was fucking awful to witness and I’m sorry you had to go through that, but we got him.” Jeongin pulled you into his arms after taking out what he needed from the bag. The feeling of his hands on you now was much better than the pair that was on you. “As long as we get what we need, then it’ll be okay.” You breathed in the scent that was purely Jeongin and let him go to allow him to get back to work.

You sat in the chair that Jeongin was occupying and watched him tie the pig-man up, securing him to one of the legs of the bed. You watched him make sure that there was no way he could get out without any assistance. “Now, we wait for him to wake up. I didn’t use too much chloroform just so we wouldn’t be sitting here for hours. But in case we are, it’s a good thing this fucker rented the room for the rest of the night.” As Jeongin walked back to you, you heard him whisper the word ‘perv’ towards the now tied up man. You got up just enough for Jeongin to slide in the seat and he pulled you down to sit on his lap.

For the next 40 minutes, you sat in Jeongin’s lap, playing with his hair and fingers while discussing and double checking the rest of the plan. You were interrupted by the groggily noises of the pig-man, everything muffled by the rag in his mouth. When his eyes finally opened completely, he looked around, stopping once he saw you and Jeongin. The man below you picked you up just to softly place you down again but not on him. He sat you back in the chair, kissed your hair and approached the pig-man.

“Wha-” He was stopped by Jeongin, slapping him in the face. “This is how this is gonna go, you’re going to shut the fuck up until I ask you something, and once that happens, you’re going to answer me, honestly. Understand?” The pig-man just nodded.

Jeongin removed the rag from his mouth and pulled out the small notebook he kept in his back pocket. “So I’ve been told that your name is Paul Bianco, also known as “The Tiger”, you’re obviously a part of the Flaming Skulls, stupid name but whatever, is this all correct?” Formerly known as the pig-man to you, Paul nodded.

“Who sent you?” His voice was shaky, scared of Jeongin, who just sighed and rolled his eyes. “The fuck did I tell you before this started?” Without receiving an answer, you watched Jeongin pull out his switchblade and step forward, bringing himself closer to Paul. He crouched down to his level and brought the knife up to Paul’s cheek.

Digging the tip of the knife through the flesh of Paul’s cheek, Jeongin started talking again, louder than Paul’s cries and pleas. “I’m gonna hurt you no matter what you do, but I’ll go easy on you if you just follow my directions. Now, I need to know one fucking thing. Who killed Hwang Hyunjin? Just give me the name and we’ll be on our way.”

Paul started shaking his head, not wanting to give away the answer. “Come on man, I have a family, a wife, kids, please let me go.” Jeongin looked behind him, at you, shaking his head, “If you’re such a family man then why were you trying to pull something on my girlfriend?”

“Well you know, the wife’s gotten older, can’t please me in the way a man wants.” He laughed sleazily, Jeongin started laughing back, mocking the man. “And your girlfriend over there, she’s just so pretty and she was there, and I-I-I thought maybe she could-” he lost his voice when the tip of Jeongin’s knife returned to Paul’s neck.

Jeongin’s fake laugh continued, louder, “Yeah, I know she’s pretty,” his laughter stopped, his voice now serious, dripping with venom, “but just because she’s pretty doesn’t mean she’s there for free use.” Jeongin’s fist made contact with Paul’s nose, snapping something in it. He stepped back and watched Paul’s cheeks wet with tears and blood. Blood pouring out of both nostrils, dripping into his mouth, he started sputtering, trying to speak without swallowing the thick, red liquid that was starting to spill onto the already stained carpet.

“Paul, Paul, Paul, all I asked was a question, and then you insulted me, acting like you own the love of my life. So I’ll ask you again. Who the fuck, killed Hwang Hyunjin?” Jeongin’s sentence ended with the sound of his gun cocking, pointing it right between Paul’s eyes.

The man started squirming, “Okay, okay! I’ll tell you, please just don’t kill me, I’ll answer anything and everything you want! I’ll apologize to your girlfriend!” Paul looked over at you and started begging for forgiveness, apologizing profusely.

Jeongin approved of the man’s begs but didn’t put down the gun. “So, since you seem to struggle with my main question, I’ll ask some other things that I need to know. First, in 2018, who was the rat that snuck into my company?” Paul answered immediately, and he didn’t hesitate with the next several questions either, giving away information as he was trembling, terrified for his life.

You sat back in the chair, taking notes after Jeongin tossed you his little notebook. Refusing to miss a single thing, you jotted down everything, in case the information was needed later on.

But Jeongin’s patience had worn thin, now only wanting the answer that got the both of you here. “Now. I’m not going to ask again, who killed Hwang Hyunjin?” It was technically a question, but Jeongin made it sound like a demand. Paul Bianco didn’t have any time left. And he knew that, so he gave in.

“Park Jinyoung killed your friend.” And there he had it. Jeongin finally had the name of the man that killed Hyunjin. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” But Paul was still a nervous wreck.

“Don’t tell him I ratted him out, please, he’ll kill me!” You had picked up Jeongin’s bag and walked over to him. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him killing you.” Paul’s blood ran cold, “But, I answered all your questions! I complied! Please don’t kill me, why would you kill me?”

Jeongin walked over to the door, his hand on the handle, he turned half of his body so he could keep the gun lined up with Paul’s head.

“Because you touched my girlfriend.” And with that, Jeongin pulled the trigger, and the pig-man’s body went limp, blood puddling around him, coming out of the hole that was now in his head.

Jeongin turned the doorknob and walked out, pulling you with him. “Jisung already has control of the security cameras, so we won’t be seen on those. And with him renting the room, it’s under his name, not ours.” You continued down the hallway, not going back through the crowd of people dancing. The side door was deserted, no one near, not even bouncers for the club.

There was one person though, waiting in a car, for the two of you. Jeongin opened the door and helped you in, getting settled in the car and finally taking a deep breath for the first time in hours. Exhaustion was taking over his body now that the adrenalin was no longer running through his veins.

“Hey Jeongin, Miss. Y/n. Are you guys, okay?” The car was now moving and the accent that belonged to Bang Chan filled the car. The both of you just nodded, but Jeongin spoke up, not to answer his question though. “Park Jinyoung. That bastard killed Hyunjin.” Chan let out an exhale that sounded like a whistle, continuing to drive.

You laid your head on Jeongin’s shoulder and looked at what he was doing on his phone, you saw his messages with Minho, Jeongin telling him to track Jinyoung down. Minho responded by telling the younger man to take the weekend off, as he’s been under a lot of pressure and stress recently.

“It would be good for you, to take a bit of time for yourself. We could go somewhere secluded, just for a few days. It would be nice, Jeongin.” Chan overheard the conversation and spoke up, “Minho already told me to take you to one of the houses, I thought you knew…” Jeongin groaned, not wanting to stop working, and you just giggled, excited to truly be alone with him.

Jeongin was about to argue but he could see your excitement, so he didn’t say anything, he texted Minho back to say thank you and allowed Chan to take them wherever Minho had sent them. With his trust in Chan mixed with the warmth of your soft body next to him, he allowed himself to lay his head on yours and close his eyes.

You hadn’t realized that you fell asleep until Jeongin was whispering you awake, stating that you’ve arrived at the house. Taking off your seatbelt, Jeongin helped your tired self out of the car, making sure you didn’t hit your head on the roof of the vehicle.

When you were fully out of the vehicle and got a view of the house Minho had sent you to, your eagerness took over the drowsiness. It was one of the beach houses, along the coast. You could hear the waves crashing into the dock and you could smell the water. Barely letting Jeongin say goodbye to Chan, you grabbed his hand and ran to the door of the house.

“We’re alone, we’re alone together for once.” You whispered into the air, Chan had driven off so only Jeongin and the wind heard you. You leaned over the railing on the balcony, the door to get inside was behind you but you paid no attention to that. Your attention was set on how the moonlight was reflecting onto the water.

Having no intentions of moving inside, you involuntarily shivered and Jeongin was wrapping his arms around you, suggesting that the two of you settle down. You let him gently pull you inside, the heat engulfing you immediately, the goosebumps that had risen on your skin were no longer there.

“I’m going to unpack our bags, you get comfortable.” You looked over at said bags that Minho had had his assistants pack for the two of you and honestly didn’t care about those. You just wanted him to stay close to you. Jeongin was behind you, leaning on you while you leaned on the kitchen island. He spoke into your hair and whispered his love for you while walking away. He kept a hand on you until he was too far, letting it trail behind him, trying to keep you close for as long as possible.

While he was piddling around upstairs, getting everything set up, you hooked up your phone to the TV. Playing music through the surround sound speakers, it was quiet, but everywhere. You looked outside the window, watching the waves, swaying your body to the music. All the lights were off except for the small ones underneath the cabinets. To enhance the calming mood even more, you lit a candle, a clean scent.

So caught up in your own world, you didn’t notice that Jeongin had returned until his knuckles lightly knocked on the wall, the one with his side pressed against. Jeongin would be happy if he never did anything but watch you for the rest of his life.

Your voice was slow and quiet, tiredness evident on your face but even though Jeongin wanted you to get some rest, he couldn’t help but allow you to subconsciously pull him to you. “Dance with me, please?”

How could he say no to you?

The slow and calm yet sultry music being played on the TV in the next room, casted from your phone mixed well with the candle burning a clean scent on the kitchen island, the mood finished with moonlight flooding the otherwise dark room. It was perfect.

When Jeongin reached you the first thing he felt was the thin satin dress that covered your otherwise bare body. “Are you not cold?” Always putting your comfort first, Jeongin asked you as soon as he felt just how thin your dress was. “Yes, but I’m okay, you know I’d rather be cold than hot.” He accepted your excuse but still pulled you as close as humanly possible, you wanted to dance so he was going to dance with you and warm you up.

‘What are you waiting for? (Ooh, yeah) You got me lost in the clutch of you (lost in you)’

You and Jeongin swayed back and forth, feeling the salty breeze come through the open door, chilling your skin, but neither of you cared. When you were with each other neither of you could bring yourself to care about what was happening around you. Too caught up in the feeling of each other. You wondered if you would love each other as much as you do now if you hadn’t gone through everything together. Ever since you were kids, the training, the missions, your parents’ disappointment for their respective child. Always having the weight of the world on your back, but with the other walking next to you, it was more bearable. You and Jeongin danced together a lot, it was your guys’ way of winding down from the work heavy day.

The world could be on fire, and you believed that you and Jeongin would dance through it, until you couldn’t dance anymore, until your last breath.

You kept swaying, the playlist continuing to provide you with rhythms. Your eyes burned, too tired, needing to close them. So you did, you didn’t intend on actually falling asleep, especially standing up in Jeongin’s arms, but you couldn’t help it.

Jeongin noticed your limp body and smiled. “Let’s go to bed.” You were now in the hypnagogic stage, half awake, half asleep. Stirring when Jeongin stopped swaying but still calm enough to be relaxed.

Normally, your body and mind refused to ever let you be in this stage, your guard was down, you were too relaxed. So happy, too happy, but Jeongin was able to do that, he was the only person to ever get you that relaxed. He was the only person you allowed yourself to not have your guard up around. He was Jeongin, and you loved Jeongin, a dangerous amount. Although dangerous, it was the only thing that kept you going.

You grumbled when you smelled the smoke from the candle Jeongin blew out, but you still didn’t wake up fully, you heard the music stop, and then ascend up the stairs when he carried you in his arms. He stood you upright on your feet once you entered the room. He helped you get dressed into pajamas, so you’d be much more comfortable. He made sure you were okay before helping you lay into bed. Feeling the smooth, cold sheets under you, you sighed, finally calm enough to let your muscles relax. Always on the run, always stressed, always feeling something other than happiness. Jeongin was what kept you alive, and he made sure you knew that you were his world.

“Jeongin?” Your tired eyes opened a bit more, enough to watch him remove his shirt and slip on some sweats, revealing the hard muscles covered in tattoos and scars, too much pain imprinted on his body for his age, but you couldn’t say anything different about your own. Minus all the tattoos, you had a few, but not nearly as many as Jeongin had.

He looked over his shoulder at you and hummed, urging you to continue. “Can you leave the door open a bit please? I want to feel the breeze.” Without denying you or letting you know he was going to open the door; he just did. The door had a screen behind it, making sure no rodents or big bugs made their way in. He left the screen door fully shut but cracked the actual door a bit. You watched him bend down to grab the thick wooden rod, which he placed in the door’s track, so no one could open the door enough to enter the room from the outside.

Making sure the door was as secure as it could be with following your request of leaving it open, he turned around to face you in the bed. He slid in, laying in the middle of the bed so he could reach you. Your body was slack so when Jeongin pulled you to him, there was no resistance. This was how you always slept, your body curled up, and Jeongin’s curled up behind you, an act of protection, even in his sleep. His hands were wrapped around your stomach, always ready to pull you back if someone tried to take you from him.

Listening to the wind whistle and feeling the breeze on your skin along with Jeongin’s steady breath on your neck, you returned to sleep, wishing to stay in this state of mind with Jeongin forever.

However, all good things must come to an end. The alarm clock of habit in your head made sure you didn’t sleep past seven in the morning, but given you had an extremely late night, it cut you some slack. When you finally blinked your eyes open, in the fuzzy, morning sight, you saw that the actual alarm clock on the bed side table read ‘9:32’.

Jeongin’s arm was still wrapped around you, in the same position he was in when he fell asleep, ever the snoozer. But when he felt you rustle, he finally moved, but his movements were fluid, not being held back with the stiffness of sleep.

“Did you just wake up?” Your voice was hoarse, complimenting your dry throat perfectly.

“No, I’ve been up since seven, just decided to stay in bed.” He kissed the back of your head, breathing in the smell of your hair.

You rolled over, causing Jeongin to do the same. “I’m glad you were able to sleep in.” He looked over at you, smiling at your hair covering your face.

“I’m sorry you weren’t.” He shrugged the best he could while lying down but you still didn’t like how he brushed it off, he needed the sleep, just as much as you if not more.

“Well this was what we signed up for.” Both of you stared up at the ceiling, tired of everything. So young but already cursed with the evils of the world. “We didn’t sign up for shit Jeongin, we were born into this mess. My parents and your parents had us just to be the next heirs of their stupid ass gangster mob.” You rolled your eyes and rolled over to face him. The slight breeze entered the room through the opening, only protected by the screen door.

You wholeheartedly believed that if you hadn’t fallen in love with Jeongin you would’ve ended everything by now, blinded by the bad and unable to see what good was still left in the world. Jeongin was the only good still left in the world, or at least the only thing you cared enough about at this point.

Even though the both of you should probably talk about your problems more, whenever you do, you’d get tired of it, quickly.

“I love you Jeongin.” You rolled over on your side and looked at him. He smiled and did the same, now facing you as well. Jeongin reached for you, “I love you too, thanks for putting up with me and my shit.” You just laughed and sat up a bit, just enough to lean over to him, placing your lips on his.

Jeongin tightened his arms around you, moving them down to your hips, you giggled against his mouth, causing him to smile. Pulling back slightly, taking in his features, he was smiling with his eyes, something he rarely ever did. You kissed his smile and shivered, the wind picking up, reminding you that you forgot to close the door. What was going to be just a small peck deepened, like always.

You decided to go with the flow and take it a step further.

Hoisting yourself up on your left knee, you swung your right one over Jeongin’s hips. With a lazy smile, his hands drug up your legs, caressing the skin until they lightly grasp your hips.

Leaning down to connect your lips, the both of you smiled into the kiss, your teeth lightly touched, and you pulled back to giggle. “Jeongin~” He rolled your hips into his. The clothed friction was nice, but not enough.

Jeongin could feel your need, the urgency evident in your shallow thrusts. “Lift up a bit” you listened to his soft voice, lifting your hips so he could hook his thumbs in your shorts and panties waistband and pull them down all at once. After they were over your ass, you finished removing them yourself. And while you were off of Jeongin, you took the opportunity to pull down his own sweats and briefs.

You had to hold yourself from physically jumping on him, but it seemed like he was having the same debate. The room was quiet except for your breathing and the sound of the rain pitter pattering outside. The cold drops falling from the sky just intensified the chilled draft in the room, but with your bare skin against Jeongin’s, it was tolerable.

Sitting back on Jeongin’s pelvis, you leaned down, slotting your lips against his. Your breasts were pressed against his chest, your pebbled nipples taunt against his own. The feeling of the nubs flicking against each other caused your back to dip in an arch. With your back arching your pussy rubbed against Jeongin’s cock. The wet lips of your cunt spread slightly at the intrusion of his dick, your arousal lubing him up enough that once you lifted your hips just enough to take his cock in your hand and slip it in your wanton hole.

Jeongin groaned against your mouth, taking the back of your neck in his hand and using it as leverage to push your mouth to his even more.

Moving your hips while laying down proved to be more challenging than you had originally thought. Placing a longing kiss against his lips once more, you pushed off Jeongin’s chest and held your back straight, allowing your hips to move freely.

Feeling his cock move so deeply within you, you could feel him in your stomach, just below your belly button. Needing more, you lifted off him for a second before slamming back down and speeding up your moments.

Jeongin placed his hands on the curve of your hips and dug his nails in slightly. Biting his lip and matching your thrusts, he was entranced by the sight above him.

Your eyes were glossed over, so overwhelmed by the pleasure coursing through your veins, your hair was a mess, not only from being asleep but also the movement, baby hairs sticking to your face from the sweat that was starting to form. But although these were all gorgeous sights to Jeongin, what took first place was your bouncing tits. With every thrust they would cause a slapping sound from them bouncing back and hitting your skin.

Moving his hands from your hips and trailing his fingertips along your soft skin, Jeongin grabbed your chest. Playing with the mounds of flesh sitting heavy in his hands, he squished them, pushed them together, and pinched your nipples.

Pinching them particularly tightly, you squealed and clenched your pussy around his cock. Jeongin groaned, feeling the constriction that had surrounded him.

You shivered again, but this time wasn’t because of Jeongin. The breeze coming from outside began to pick up. Nipples pulled taunt from the cold air wrapping around your body, the feeling was contrasted by Jeongin’s warm fingers going back to playing with them.

Everything soon became almost too much. Each roll of your hips caused his tip to brush against the gummy spot inside of you, plus your clit would meet with the bone of his pelvis, causing two sources of stimulation, or course without mentioning the attention and torture your breasts were receiving.

Each pinch and thrust caused little shocks of electricity to shoot throughout your body and those little bursts of pleasure fueled you to move faster. Jeongin picked up on your impatience and decided to take things into his own hands.

Flipping over, your back hit the soft, plush bedding. Jeongin took a hold under your knee, and hoisted your leg above his shoulder, resting it on the broad muscle. Jackhammering his hips into yours, the sound of the rain was no longer heard and the wind hitting your body was ignored. All you could hear was the sound of you and your lover’s skin meeting and all you could feel was the knot in your lower stomach hanging on by a threat.

Your edge was so close but still out of reach, crying out, you gripped Jeongin’s arms, feeling the muscles hidden underneath the skin flex from the feeling of your nails digging in.

Soon his thrusts turned sloppy, unable to hold a consistent rhythm. Dropping to his left elbow, he hid his face in your neck, ruthlessly sucking and biting at your sweet spot. But that wasn’t enough for either of you, with his free hand, he traveled it down your body to the apex of your thighs. Taking his middle and ring finger, he relentlessly played with the nub of nerves.

All of a sudden, you broke. Yelling out into the air, you closed your eyes and clamped your legs against Jeongin’s torso. His hips chased his own high, barely letting you ride out yours, he kept you in that moment of white heat until his own high hit him.

Groaning into your hair, his hips snapped slower, finally allowing you to ride out your high, his thrusts turned into shallow rolls. Your hips no longer met and soon your muscles didn’t jolt periodically as you were finally coming back to the ground, no longer up in the clouds.

Jeongin stayed hidden in your hair for a few minutes, just holding you close to his body, protecting you from anything and everything.

“I love you, so fucking much. And, I’m gonna get us out of this life, I promise. We finish this last mission, and we can move away. Move away to the middle of nowhere, fill it with our kids.”

You bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from smiling too hard. “Can we have a wrap-around porch?”

“Yeah, a wrap-around porch and whatever else you want. I’ll give you the fucking world.”

Scratching Jeongin’s scalp, your smile couldn’t be contained once he let out a purr like sound. You giggled and kissed the side of his head.

“Jeongin, let’s go clean up.” Shaking his head, Jeongin just tightened his grip on you.

The sweet and comfortable moment that was once filled with playing with Jeongin’s hair and listening to the rain was ruined by the blaring noise of Jeongin’s phone ringing.

He groaned in your hair again, this time from annoyance but nonetheless rolled off of you and onto his back. Blindly reaching for his phone, Jeongin mumbled a couple of curses.

Once his fingertips were able to grasp the phone, he brought it to his vision and groaned at the caller ID.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you were the one who told me to take this break.”

You couldn’t hear the other person but you followed in Jeongin’s path and laid on his chest, drawing circles on the span of his chest.

“Are you serious? I finally get a fucking moment to just breathe with my girlfriend and you take it away! There are 15 other people a part of our team. Literally pair up Seungmin and Momo, boom I just fixed it for you!”

Jeongin rubbed your arm, kissed your head, and rolled out from under you. He stood up straight, with his back to you, and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. You smiled at the sight of his bare ass and you couldn’t help but reach out and pinch the temptingly soft skin.

The man on the phone jumped a bit, startled by your joke. Rolling back over to your original position, you just smiled at him, it wasn’t innocent, but playful.

Jeongin turned to face you and looked at you. How your hair was a mess from him running his fingers through it, how your skin had that after sex glow to it, and how your eyes were set on him. It was evident that you loved him and he knew that you would never know the extent of his love for you. He couldn’t even fathom it.

Without his smile faltering, he ended the phone call with a, “Okay jackass, thanks for ruining my day.” But even if his smile stood its ground, yours didn’t. Molding your lips into frown, you brought up the sheet, intending for him to slide back into bed. Your intentions were innocent, but of course, Jeongin was given the view of your body, freshly marked with kisses and bruises from him. Raising his eyebrows and smiling growing sinister, he climbed back into bed, accepting your invitation.

“Get whatever is in your head out. I’m tired again.” You poked at his chest accusingly, but the both of you knew that there wasn’t a single complaint behind each jab at his pec.

“So, what was that all about?” You were worried from the little snippet of the conversation that we were able to hear. “We have another mission tonight.” Jeongin rolled his eyes, annoyed that someone is trying to steal your alone time away.

“What is it?” You didn’t move from your spot, even though you probably should sooner rather than later. “Park Jinyoung has some giant drug trade at a club tonight, one of the guys who snuck into his team told us. You and I are supposed to play the unsuspicious horny couple on the dance floor. When we see him move to the basement of the club, we’re supposed to pretend to head to the bathroom to “bang” but follow them when they aren't looking.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why are all the guys we have to hunt down hiding in clubs?" Your back was still pressed flushed to Jeongin's chest as you swayed to the music sensually, but still aware of your surroundings. His head was on your shoulder, his mouth next to your ear, "Because men are disgusting." He kissed your neck when you giggled.

"You're a man, what does that say about you?" Smirking and side eyeing him, waiting for his answer. "I have my own disgusting thoughts about you, but I keep them to myself." You felt his tongue trace the shell of your ear.

Jeongin always managed to set a fire deep within your core. His hands were sliding down your sides and landed on your hips. He was wearing a black button down with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his tattoos. The veins that ran up and down the length of his exposed skin distracted you, you wanted the muscles to flex, causing his veins to become more prominent.

“I know you like my arms and hands baby, but you gotta stay on task.” You could feel his smile against your neck and his hardening dick on your ass. Tearing your eyes from their desired view, you moved your head to the side, towards Jeongin’s ear. “You’re the one that’s off task, you’re getting hard just from dancing.”

“With grinding against an ass like yours, no one can really blame me.”

Letting out a soft moan at the feeling of his lips sucking a bruise into your neck, you rolled your hips back against his crotch. “Jeongin, we can’t right now.” You wanted to, but you simply couldn’t.

“You’re right, it’s just so hard, you make me so hard.” Jeongin tightened his grip on your hips and turned you around. He planted a harsh yet passionate on your lips and forced his tongue through your lips. Your hands took purchase in his hair and pulled the strands taunt. His hands did the same but with the skin on your ass. He squeezed the muscle so tightly; you were sure that he’d leave handprints.

Moaning and gasping into the other’s mouth, you ignored your surroundings, which was not something the two of you did often. Jeongin kicked your legs apart and bent his knee a bit, allowing you to use his thigh. “Jeongin” you moaned, the music drowning out your noises.

~Jeongin!~

Hearing Jeongin’s name through the earpieces broke the two of you out of whatever spell you were under.

~We can see both of you. Please stick to the plan. The target is on the move.” ~

You rolled your eyes and looked around, continuing to dance with Jeongin. He’s just as irritated as soon as he is lost in the vision of you. He’s taken right back out of it. Grumbling, Jeongin gripped your hips and continued to sway to the music.

“Alright, I see him. It's time baby.” You smiled, happy that this was going to be your last mission.

You watched as Park Jinyoung and his men headed to the basement, leaving their spots at the bar vacant. You nodded at Momo, who played bartender for the night. She winked at you, letting you know that she was able to spike their drinks. Following their path, you and Jeongin stopped at the bathroom line, he pushed you against the wall so you could peek over his shoulder, keeping your eyes on the man of the hour.

“Okay, they’re all inside, they didn’t leave anyone as a lookout.” You whispered into Jeongin’s neck, but before pulling away, you left a teasing kiss. He looked down at you with a glare, but you knew there was no malicious intent behind it.

Jeongin nodded at the security camera, knowing that Jisung was watching the two of you.

~Alright everyone, let’s go~

Changbin walked past Jeongin, tapping his back to give him the signal. The two of you followed him down the stairs into the basement. Ducking below all the windows that separated you to them, you headed to the door.

Chan, Naeyeon, Sana, and Felix were ready to attack them from the other side of the room. Then, Minho and Seungmin were placed as bouncers, guarding the two main doors into the club. The back door was being watched by Tyuzu and Jeongyeon. Lastly, Chaeyoung and Jihyo were ready to attack if they got past everyone else.

Mina and Dahyun, as the getaway drivers, were waiting for the 15 of you to get out of there before the police showed up once they were called. It was a large team, but Park Jinyoung had a sea of men behind him, and just tonight, there were probably 30 littered around the club. But you guys had rage feuling you. The death of your team member and friend was enough to make you kill anyone that stood in your way.

~3~

Changbin, Jeongin, and you all looked at each other. Changbin had handed you weapons during the descent of the stairs, they were now loaded and cocked back.

~2~

The three of you took a collective breath.

~1~

Fixing your footing, you and Jeongin smiled at each other.

~Now~

Changbin kicked down the door, Chan did the same on the other side, and you, Jeongin, Sana, and Felix all took cover behind various objects around the room. Open fire rained down. Park Jinyoung made a run for it, leaving his men to fight his battles for him. No one was able to get a direct shot at him, Sana was only able to skim his shoulder as he ran upstairs.

You could hear people yelling upstairs, but with Seungmin, Minho, and Momo as the next line of defense, you weren’t worried.

~I got him guys~

Of course, it was Seungmin.

~We’re gonna head out to the cars and pull around back~

The showdown didn’t last as long as you thought it would. Obviously, they weren’t expecting to be raided as they quickly ran out of ammo.

“Alright, I think we got them all, let’s get out of here guys.” Chan spoke the first words since the raid began and you were relieved that it was over. Or at least, Jeongin and you were going to ask for it to be the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We can’t promise that the two of you will never be called but I can promise that you will be called significantly less.” Jeongin and you had asked Minho if you could have a talk with him. He understood as the two of you are getting older and this isn’t the life you wanted nor the life you signed up for.

“Thank you sir.” Nodding your heads in thanks, you turned your backs to him, ready to leave.

“One thing!” Minho called once your hand grasped the door handle. Turning around, Jeongin was able to grab whatever Minho had thrown your way in mid air. Once the object hit his hand, a jingle was heard.

“Enjoy that wrap around porch. The team and I will be sure to visit once you get settled”.

#female reader #fluff #x reader #kpop #smut #angst #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #stray kids in #in #yang jeongin #stray kids jeongin #skz smut #skz #skz x reader #skz in #skz jeongin #skz yang jeongin

[thesherrinfordfacility]

I mean Neil said once that the sequel involved Jesus arriving in America on a plane with secret service agents, and the S2 opening sequence shows a plane, so I'm... fairly confident that he's an adult? Jesus died when he was like 33 right

afternoon anon!!!✨ see i recall this (ask on neil's page?) and remember the response but cannot for the life of me find it anywhere (and im pretty good at Finding Stuff), do you - or anyone else reading for that matter - have a link to this? just so i can save it for future reference.

now, i hope you don't mind if i do this, but i would like to use this opportunity to parse out a more coherent rationale on the second coming, if that's okay? yeah? cool.

(previous incarnation of this theory).

thing is that the premise of the baby swap in s1 is based on the omen, right? takes at least a huge chunk of inspiration from that as the origin of how the antichrist came into the story. but it goes wrong, obviously, and there's a third baby thrown in the mix. makes a cursory wave to the omen, but isn't a carbon copy of it.

now i can't help but feel that narratively it would make sense to bookend this and have the second coming be a bit bollocksed up too. seems to be a theme in GO. and actually, when i thought about it (with extreme bias, granted, because im chomping at the bit on this theory), the second coming was potentially already fucked up anyway.

now, disclaimer time -

i completely get that people will look to the bible in reference to parsing out the second coming (or indeed any other theory). obviously i do too, for references to certain verses etc. in order to draw the relevant parallels. but there are multiple instances in GO where it is based on the bible or other texts, but doesn't follow it exactly; how GO portrayed the book of job, for example. it takes these texts, and distorts or reimagines them slightly or completely.

the way i see it, we are reading/watching GO as if this is in fact the true telling of those texts, as if (and not trying to be diminutive here) the bible is an inaccurate telling of GO, not the other way around - because, of course, we're seeing GO from the angel and demon that were 'actually there', so to speak.

im not saying that this - or any - of my theories are indisputably correct, far from it. but to me, with the information i have from the narrative as first source, and then looking at the referenced texts that inspired it, what i come up with, and write, is what makes sense to me. and it might make sense because it would be poetically apt, is in-keeping with how i interpret the characters, and/or is just plain funny or ironic (GO is after all, a comedy).

so whilst i fully anticipate people to duly correct me on how it all goes down in the bible (as they should, i love being educated!!!), please know that im not trying to deliberately misinterpret anything, but more trying to think outside the box, from the viewpoint of the GO story itself, and what direction would make the most sense in which it will reimagine these texts.

- exit disclaimer.

anyway! theory time!

so we have the imagery from the s2 sequence of the "thy kingdom come" plane, and this is obviously a reference to the resurrection as you've said, anon: that jesus arrives by plane. i truly love this imagery because if we take matthew 24:36 (KJV): "But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.", the concept that in the great plan the date and time might finally be revealed in the form of a flight number, airport, and ETA is frankly hilarious to me. furthermore, "cometh with clouds" (revelation, 1:7 KJV) being reimagined as a literal plane landing again sets up the comedic backdrop so well.

now wherever the plane lands, whether from the US or to the US (again, don't have the original neil answer to refer to, but going based on your ask, anon, it's the latter), it regardless involves americans. this is where i feel it would be a perfect narrative symmetry opportunity to refer back to s1/the book, and reintroduce the dowlings.

and you might be wondering, "well no because GO set up the dowlings to be involved only insomuch that they were meant to be custodians of the antichrist - why would they also be involved in the second coming?" well, i wondered this too. the only conclusion i can come to, frankly, is GO!god having a very warped, twisted and ineffable sense of humour. they saw what satan had planned for the dowlings in inadvertently raising the antichrist, possibly did a bit of shifting around in the mystical threads, and decided that actually - just to throw in the wildcard of chaos - they should instead be the bearers of the second coming. this degree of mind-boggling ineffability, to me, would be comedically on-brand.

regardless; whilst just a theory, the whole thing makes sense to me - that in any case, the dowlings are going to make a reappearance. and with them, or on his own (if we follow the biblical telling that jesus was resurrected as he was from the crucifixion, at age 33yo, and therefore would suggest a timeskip from s2, but this isn't necessarily guaranteed - ie: might not be how GO chooses to portray it!), comes warlock. now we know that warlock was meant to be the antichrist, before crowley and the nuns managed to bugger it all up.

but heaven wouldn't necessarily know that its the dowlings arriving, right? presumably they'd just all gather on the tarmac awaiting the arrival, and lmao SIKE, it's bloody warlock. heaven hasn't met warlock, and therefore still think he's in fact jesus resurrected... but aziraphale has met him. he helped bloody raise him. and he knows now that he is essentially a normal kid/adult (albeit a very stuck-up one) and definitely not the second coming.

well then, if jesus was meant to be on that plane, according to the great plan, a plane being used by the dowlings... then why isn't it warlock? well, because the dowlings' actual baby isn't warlock. lets go back to the baby swap in the book/s1:

*apols, editing to correct this somewhat because it isn't quite right and lateral thinking is not my strong suit*

ANTICHRIST was meant to go to: the DOWLINGS. instead, went to: the YOUNGS. this is Adam.

YOUNG BABY was meant to go to: stay with the YOUNGS, but got mixed up. instead, went to: the DOWLINGS. this is Warlock.

DOWLING BABY was meant to go to: adoption/something nefarious instead, and indeed did. this is... Greasy Johnson.

and i love this for all sorts of reasons. now im lifting this next bit, essentially, from another ask of mine, but to keep things all in one place:

"greasy is posed as the antithesis of adam/antichrist, has a gang surrounding him that you could infer are loyal disciples, and is a mirror to adam in that adam on the whole seems to be a well-adjusted and morally-upstanding young boy.

i further think the fact that adam is the antichrist put against greasy being the second coming is a well positioned reflection on the nature vs nurture argument. ultimately adam grew up in a largely loving and supportive environment, and as the literal son of satan, you'd expect his nature, the circumstances of his birth, to rule out every other influence.

ultimately it does for a short time, but adams narrative iirc is that it is reflective of his desire to save the world... he wanted to get rid of things that were Wrong, and naively (he is still an 11-year old boy after all) thought that destroying the world and restarting it would do just that. his friends however reinforce in him that destruction and reparation are not the same thing, and so his upbringing, the nurture, wins.

greasy? we don't know a lot about him, only that he is a bully and represents the opposite of adam and the them... [and there exists] the whole [sic] analogy that greasy and the johnsonites vs adam and the them are meant to represent the hell vs heaven war..."

and then we have this small, relatively innocuous detail from the book:

as i said, possibly something of nothing. but the deliberate wording of 'breeding the fish', which is left out of s1, is - i like to think - a bit of a clue.

and before anyone comes for me on this, i am aware that this is based practically on fuck all of jack shit; im painfully aware of that. im aware that it deliberately misinterprets certain passages (not going to do the soapbox speech again, promise), but i just like to have fun. i honestly do not care if this is wrong; whatever happens in s3 should and will be better than anything i can come up with. yes, it's fun to get a prediction or speculation correct, of course it is, but it's not the endgame here. i get that others will have conflicting schools of thought, see things differently, or just plain think it's crap - that's okay! but, if that's the case, just move on from this post with a shake of your head. im not here to do anything other than have a good time, lads (gn)✨💓

edit 21/08: additional reading because now i feel vindicated: here from amuseoffyre, and my tags on this post too.

#im sorry i get a bit ranty in this anon none of that is directed at you at all im sorry it ended up on your ask #but we just need to let everyone have the space to come up with whatever batshit theories they like and have fun with it #this is such a lovely warm fandom and id love to see it remain that way!!! #good omens #not a shitpost but its good omens babyyyy #ask #also i havent proof read this so if there are any errors just pretend you didnt see them #s3 narrative spec #second coming/last judgement theory

[rgr-pop]

soliciting advice from the mentally ill queer community, possibly especially @bananapeppers needed

without rehashing the context too much, as you know i got written up at work for saying the words homophobia and transphobia (yes that’s what the record says lol). my punishment is i have to go to see a therapist (counseling from a therapist or therapy from a counselor not clear) that they have chosen, and i have to consent to release some information about these sessions to my employer

going to set aside that i would not choose this therapist in the first place given any ability to consent at all in this scenario because she has what i consider to be a fake certifying degree from an online for profit institution and she does not work for a mental healthcare provider (she works for a company that sells telecounseling packages to human resources departments) lol, i have additional concerns about the appropriateness of the assignment because on her linkedin she identifies herself as catholic (specifically catholic educated)

fully no anti catholic bias intended (i love the catholic homosexual reading this) and to be fully honest, i have no other evidence on hand that she may be homophobic—no questionable social media or organizational affiliations. she frankly may very well not be. but i would never choose a healthcare provider who identifies their catholicism on their professional website to handle issues that i know to be controversial among catholics (like at all as a first choice but especially) without explicit reassurance that they are pro-queer and have experience in queer informed counseling (or are abortion loving if that were the situation, or believe that divorce should be legal and celebrated, whatever it may be) (once more full apologies for the stereotyping lol)

so the advice i’m looking for is how to have a conversation with her to establish whether she’s a queer friendly therapist (and there are some finer details i’d especially like to clarify). i know many of you have had to have these conversations and i’m wondering if you’d all give me pointers or some concrete questions to ask.

additionally, in a worse case scenario, can anyone who feels up to it share experiences or advice about surviving homophobic therapy experiences lol :/

a few notes:

i obviously considered not complying and lawyering up. it’s not off the table lol but there are various reasons i opted not to. the most pragmatic one is that i know many members of my union have to go through similar processes as the result of discipline and i want to see what that’s like for them. i could also gather evidence to build the case for making demands against this practice (which so far many unions consent to for various reasons even as they are legally questionable, if you’re in this situation in your union OR are mad about your union caving to this practice feel free to dm me to chat strategy.)

additionally, i probably cannot ask for a different therapist regardless of the outcome here, but having an explicit conversation is good for my case regardless. the best case scenario from here on would actually probably be for her to say i’m not comfortable with my ability to handle this topic but i can refer you to an explicitly queer informed counselor who for some reason also has a webtv therapy degree and works for the HR app.

why do i want to explicitly know that she’s okay on queer issues (or not) (im asking myself)? for one i am not sure i can literally survive yet more homophobic harassment at work (yes i know i’m baby but i make $20k working for a library this is the one thing i’m owed ok). but for another thing i do think it would be better to have some kind of record that they forced me to go to a homophobic counselor as punishment for making a complaint about homophobic harassment, if that’s the case.

the most generous read of the objective of this forced therapy would be to discuss more constructive behaviors lol for communicating about anti-queer behavior at work etc. perhaps even some emotional counseling regarding the honestly extreme toll this experience has had on my life. but i can’t proceed in good faith without a counselor who acknowledges that what i experienced was queer/phobic and that i have a right to not experience those things at work. that’s all. i do not want to sit in any additional meetings where i’m told that i have to listen to the perspective of the coworker who doesn’t believe she should have to respect queer people at work. however, if i do not proceed in good faith, i will be reported to my employer as not compliant and could face actual consequences.

please @ me thank you

#in addition if anybody wants to be my internet girlfriend as a reward to me

[dreamlandsnail]

Bro bro bro can someone please write a bunch of chayanne angst fics 😔 🙏🙏🙏

Like there's so much potential angst with his character

Oldest siblings problems (to many expectations, had to grow up faster than his siblings)

Forgotten birthdays (LIKE BROO HIS FATHER WOULD CELEBRATE HIS SIBLINGS BIRTHDAYS BUT NOT HIS not tk blame phil hes a single parent after all)

Absent father? (Missa come back home 🙏)

Survivors guilt (he couldn't protect his siblings)

Getting kidnapped (this can tie in with the survivors' guilt, and this obviously can be used for the other eggs)

Getting overlooked by his father?? (Not sure if I should say this one since I'm going off my own bias here, but most of the stuff they do/did revolved around Tallulah being safe and what she wanted to do)

Please ignore that last one if it isn't true 🙂 but plz bro write more angst for him and the other eggs. Most of the fics I see are about Tallulah 😭 which isn't a bad thing, but I also wish the other eggs got a bit more love.

Pls ignore my post if it bothers u, im not trying to force anyone to do anything . I am just a mindless person who wants their fav character to get a bit more love. Also plz excuse my English it is not my first language.

#chayanne angst #qsmp chayanne #qsmp #qsmp tallulah #philza #qsmp philza

[blorbocedes]

ok, so i got into f1 through dts in the past few years, and then stumbled across the brocedes rabbit hole recently. before that i didn't really know/like nico at all, because everyone made out like he was awful and obsessed with lewis. but i've just been watching the 2016 season, and not only is nico actually really nice (especially when he keeps being booed by crowds for literally no reason) but i have to say that i was shocked by how unreliable both mercedes cars were in that season. like, people make it out as though lewis' car was breaking down all the time and nico's was perfect, but in almost every race where lewis had car issues, so did nico. even watching the sky sports coverage (where they do talk almost non-stop about lewis and are definitely biased towards him), the number of times that they interview niki or toto going 'oh it was a perfect race for nico but car issues for lewis' and toto or niki say that actually both cars had issues is insane. also, people keep saying that nico would deliberately speak foreign languages in the cooldown room to exclude lewis (which im obviously not discounting), but in almost all of the cooldown rooms that they've shown for this season, it's just really awkward and quiet as they don't talk to each other, or anyone at all really. i feel like nico has just been done so dirty by everyone

come here anon let me kiss you with tongue

i went through this exact journey of discovery too where I was like yeahhhh everyone hates this guy! boo 🍅🍅🍅 so I went looking deeper into why (so I can be an #informed hater) and then I was like HUH.... he's not the manipulative evil obsessed with lewis can't get over their past relationship dude he's portrayed in fanon or exacerbated by sky news. in fact he was well liked by the grid!!! he invited others on Air Rosberg so they could all go travel together. and don't get me started on The Narratives of it all. my man was getting booed at Silverstone or for beating lewis, and he was saying thank you to the fans... the tifosi booed him for winning Monza and he turned that around and made them sing with him!!! (and then kravitz called it embarrassing 😶)

the British sky coverage bias is SO real, and not do get me started on the crashes which are all framed as "Nico got envious and rammed into Lewis" and not the amount of times Lewis didn't leave enough space, or he was the one who caused it....... but I digress. the W-06s were kind of like the 2022 Ferraris where they were insanely fast but notoriously unreliable. fucking hell when Nico won the championship -- EVERYONE including his own team of Toto and Niki were talking about whether Lewis lost due to DNFs, and it took sebastian vettel to be like. hey. can we talk about Nico's deserved win tho?

lewis was asked if he thought the better man won and he said he didn't agree with that, and then when he retired was like "oh I'm not surprised, it's the first time he's won anything in 20 years." 🥴🥴🥴

every time someone learns more about nico over what's regurgitated about him they're always Huh... he's just some well meaning cringe dude... and not an evil mastermind 🤥 I do not discount that they've both hurt each other in ways we're not aware of, but everything that's publicly available means that's not our stance to take (hate a guy on Behalf of lewis cause he won't say his name)

now I don't blame fans -- how would you know about something that happened like 7 years ago now? and Lewis is very skilled at the narratives around him, he had a team that despite letting both drivers race was clearly behind him; and everything since DTS, fanon has been reinforcing the same narrative.

ultimately, nico won 2016 and lewis won the narrative.

sorry this answer got so long!!! i have mental problems!!! happy to recruit you in our large number of 6 nicologists if you now swing that way. 💕

#nico rosberg #the villainizing nico thesis (condensed) #i wish he was as evil as fandom makes him out to be. instead he's just a guy very enthusiastic about electric cars #cringe (affectionate) #blorbocedes ask #nicology

[thrandilf]

while i fully agree with the thesis of your gay best friend mei post (she is often pushed aside in fanworks and her friendship with red son is undersold) but i think you might have gone too far in the opposite direction regarding mk and red sons dynamic?

obviously they dont have as much plot-relevant screentime as mei and red but mk is still important to red son. even disregarding their s1 nemesis dynamic, red son still regularly brings up mk in his conversations with mei during the s3 special, announces his entrance to mk in the mech, and asks about him on meis stream in 401, all of these feel like intentional writing choices to imply he cares about mk (and mei, but thats more implicit with him saying her name and such) more than he lets on

that is to say, i dont think shipping mk and red means someone doesnt value mei and reds dynamic or think its unimportant, just like shipping red and mei doesnt mean disregarding mei and mks bond

i hope this doesnt seem like im trying to pick a fight or anything, i just wanted to put in my 2 cents :v (also tumblr is being shit so sorry if this sent twice)

MK and Red Son are definitely friends, not denying that, but the show doesn't have an interest in developing their specific relationship further past like... halfway through Revenge of the Spider Queen. MK says they should trust him, and from there on out the two banter or work together sometimes, but nothing between them really gets going or more intense

Because after that the majority of the time is spent developing Mei and Red Son's dynamic (which was already starting in S1, 1x08 in particular I'd argue, but it was still minor then).

Her and Red Son constantly get paired up onscreen together in RotSQ, both on the main quest and then in like... every shot possible. The piggyback ride thing is actually a romance trope as well, btw. 3x06 involves everyone, but it's Mei who Red Son touches and has the Samadhi Fire connection with, and even then it's Mei who interacts with Red Son before they leave and she leaves her plushie, and then -insert the special here-. MK comes up in their conversations, as Mei comes up in MK's conversations with Red Son, so that segment's even to me, but then the Samadhi Fire ending is kinda like. Man. That's unique to Mei and Red Son and it got build up. That's something intimate and between just them

Don't get me wrong, I don't think shipping Has to be about who a character values most, because my arospec ass doesn't think that there has to be a One person put above all else. But it often comes across that way in shipping. I guess a fic doesn't have to include people who aren't in the pairing, but it does feel like it skews Mei's importance to MK and Red Son.

TBH, entertaining my own idea of a Most important person, even liking Red Son and Mei together, I think think that MK is more important to Mei than Red Son is, if she had to choose. Frankly I also think both of the boys would pick Mei before each other if they were in a situation where they had to choose, MK as Mei's best friend and Red Son, to me, having Mei as his anchor to the group considering how S3 went. They all matter to each other, but in different ways.

So sure, I don't think shipping automatically means that a dynamic is skewed to exclude or devalue a character, but it sure comes across that way when paired with seemingly ignoring all Red Son and Mei do get together, as well as how often I see people trying to give the Samadhi Fire to anyone but Mei. This is also a fandom where it seems like Lady Bone Demon's nameless male sidekick gets the same amount of content she does, which makes me scratch my head

Like, if Drag-onfruit was m/m, would Red Son and Mei be the rarer pair? Would ppl keep trying to give the fire to anyone else? For me it does read as fandom sexism with a gay hat slapped on. At the very least it's MK/main character bias, even though Mei is the female lead

No one Has to ship anything to be clear, Drag-onfruit isn't canon, but maybe it's because I watched the series all in one go that hitting the end of S3 and imagining going, "Who do I think Red Son is most likely in love with/has the most compelling relationship with? -insert anyone but Mei-" baffles me

I certainly prefer Drag-onfruit where MK is deeply important to both of them, even as a sort of platonic third (1x05 shot down MK and Mei or chimera faster and harder than any other ship known to man for me lmao) and to be fair I rarely engage with Red Son and MK shipping because it isn't my thing for multiple reasons, so maybe there is a lot of stuff out there where she's really given the love and place in their lives that she canonly has and I just don't know it, but the Mei treatment that I see in fandom does seem to be a side effect of said fanon favorite ship which is how I landed on the original post I made about her getting shoved aside to be the sassy bff who's conveniently fanonly a lesbian (for reasons I don't get) so people don't have to consider that she could have a relationship MK doesn't get to have

Maybe I'm a pessimist but this is how I've perceived it. TLDR they're a delightful trio regardless

Thank you for being polite btw, I know this got long winded but I appreciate being able to discuss!

#not tagging with ships bc i dont wanna get in the tags but if it does get in searches im sorry #ask