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#spencer reid incorrect
spritehouse · 2 months
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luke, peeling a banana: may i take your coat for you, sir?
spencer: you know everyone else can hear you, right?
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Hotch: Reid, can we talk in my office?
Spencer, already crying: yeah sure
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whoisspence · 3 months
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kidnapper: i have your child
hotch: which one i have five
kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up
hotch:
hotch: which one i have five
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welovelouisandbucky · 4 months
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Me: *gets periods* *sighs*
Also me: *searches x reader period fics on Tumblr/ao3*
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patrickispinky · 6 months
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Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Emily: i'm the knife
Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon
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*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*
Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 
Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 
Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 
Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 
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starch1ldz · 2 months
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Y/n: no one actually thinks me and Spencer are dating.
Emily: Raise your hand if you think Spencer and Y/n are dating
The entire team including Spencer raising their hands.
Y/n: Spencer Walter Reid put your hand down.
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velvetwilde · 1 month
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Tumblr media Tumblr media
Who the fuck he think he is to be this damn hot?
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ralvezfanatic · 4 months
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Y/N: I need someone to take me out already
Derek: Like on a date or with a sniper?
Y/N: Either works but at this point I rather a sniper
Hotch: Do I need to have you evaluated?
Elle, texting Penelope to ask how much a hitman costs:
Spencer, texting Penelope to ask her for tips on how to ask you out:
Penelope, very confused at the two types of text she got: ???
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*Spencer zoned out*
Derek: What are you thinking about?
Spencer: How long i'd survive if you suffocated me with a pillow.
Derek: What's wrong with you?
Spencer: Do you want a list?
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spritehouse · 6 months
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luke: would you still love me if i was a worm?
spencer: i think a more important question is would you still love me if you were a worm? because i don't think worms can–
luke: yes.
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Reid: You have to learn to love yourself.
Emily: Don't you like, hate yourself ?
Reid: Yes, but we're talking about you, focus.
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demonicbaby666 · 10 months
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Emily: [flips monopoly board over] Hotch: Prentiss! Emily: This is why your wife is dead Reid: Emily! Emily: This is why your girlfriend is dead Morgan: Emily: This is why you’re bald Morgan: I DIDNT SAY SHIT!
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JJ : An apple a day keeps the doctor away
Emily : Slowly bites into an apple while menacingly looking at Reid
Reid :
Reid : Emily what the fuck
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patrickispinky · 6 months
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Emily: i can't find my pen. are you sitting on it again?
Y/n: no.
Emily: stand up.
Y/n: i don't want to.
Emily: why?
Y/n: *mumbling* because i'm probably sitting on your pen 😔
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sarcasm-and-stiles · 2 months
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Y/N: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Spencer: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
Y/N: Holy fuck-
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