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foreverisntenough · 16 days

Text

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 7 - Gonna Be Okay | ‘Ours’

You and Trent were just in the Maldives splitting banana gelato, clinking spoons as the sun set down the western horizon on a perfect night. Okay, you were eating it all but besides the point. You were sitting yapping with pride about how you never really fought. No couple had ever been so compatible. How perfectly suited you were and retrospectively how perfectly naive. Fast forward and you were in huff in the kitchen because he had promised to refill the dogs water bowls and hadn’t. He left for training completely oblivious that he had forgotten. You were slamming cabinet doors frustrated in a rage. This had become a daily occurrence. Not specifically filling water bowls but just small things had you almost in tears. What had happened. Teddy was a little over a month old. You wouldn’t say things had calmed down with her but there was definitely more of a routine. Although that routine consisted of you and Trent suppressing a lot of issues you were having. It was all about Teddy. All the time. Becoming parents had put a strain on your relationship you weren’t expecting and definitely we’re ignoring. Part of the problem was that you both were exhausted. You had so much less time with each other and much less time for other people after she arrived. Everyday felt like a broken record and broken it was. It was so unusual for you two to work around each other like this as opposed to working together. You always had such good communication, such empathy and understanding but right now… you weren’t sure you'd had a real conversation in about 2 days. You’d never gone this long. The awkwardness was palpable but your schedules made it so you didn’t really even have the space let alone the energy to deal with it.

“T… I’m not just going to stay home and wait for you to be done.” You quipped turning to the refrigerator to grab a water to hand to him. That was the other problem that made this all so easy to ignore. You still so obviously cared for each other. The love never went anywhere so you were still doing a lot of the same things just with a ton of resentment.

“Baby, this is such a bad time for this. I’m literally walking out the house right now.” He calmly said back but you knew what that meant. It was the politest way he could say ‘shut up, I don’t want to talk about this’ Next thing you knew he was gone, out the front door for another away game. You stood cradling Teddy with tears threatening to spill over. God, you were so fucking tired. You prayed things would just sort themselves on their own. When Trent came back things didn’t snap back to normal like you had hoped. It had been days since he returned and you’d both been busy. There was minimal communication outside of ‘can you feed her’ or ‘can you change her’ One more thing that definitely was causing issues was your sleeping arrangement. You couldn’t remember the last time you even cuddled.

“We need to sit down and talk about this, Trent. We can’t fall apart now.” You nervously spoke up coming round the couch to stand in front of him blocking the tv.

“Baby…” he sighed with a puppy dog face. His lips falling into the perfect pout he knew would get his way. He was never good with confrontation and boy did he have the face to get out of it but you had had enough.

“No. No. This is not how this is going to go.” You wiped away tears of frustration that started to build. You were mad you felt so emotional while he sat stoic as ever. “We need a real discussion. Like real adults, Trent. We’re fucking parents, now. We can’t just pretend nothing is going on.” You snapped a little. You had just put Teddy down for a nap so despite the heat of your words your voice was low and soft not wanting to wake her. Whether or not he wanted to admit it or talk about it, Trent felt sidelined while you concentrated mainly on Teddy. Just the same as he felt ignored, sitting on the bench, you felt you had completely disappeared. Everyone focused solely on your baby. Your life had dwindled down to only care and feed for Teddy rather than be a partner or person in your own right.

“I’m really fucking tired Trent… you go and you work out or whatever, let out all your stress out, see your friends and I’m here! I’m here all the fucking time. I can’t leave the house.” You yelled in the quietest way possible. Inside you were fuming as the words came out. It hit you that you couldn’t remember the last time you had left the house without Teddy or not for Teddy. He hated that you were using his first name. He gave you this confused look as to why you thought he wasn’t living this experience of being a new parent with you.

“Why are you trying to keep score?” He flicked his eyes up to you as you stood there in the living room with your hands on your hips. You felt like your knees were going to give out from either exhaustion or desperation but you gave off the appearance of being incredibly strong in the moment.

“Trent! “ you yelped, feeling defeated already by his response. He threw his head to the side, annoyed you kept calling him that and it definitely wasn’t being said in a good way. “When you have a match… ugh! We’re not even sleeping together in the same bed anymore because I have to wake up to feed her and I can’t mess up your schedule for games!” You cried.

“Yeah, go on Y/N. Just keep piling it on. I know, I know I’m not home a lot. I know” He said it with such a harsh tone. You’d give it to him Trent had some drama and sass to him. A bit of a bite you rarely were on this end of. Usually his smart mouth brought humor but this… this was not funny.

“That’s not fair!” You whimpered out. Rubbing your hands over your face beginning to rock back and forth filled with nerves unsure where this conversation was even going.

“It’s so I can provide for you, Y/N. Why don’t you realize that?” He threw the first name seriousness back at you. His eyes widened in disbelief, shocked you couldn’t see what he did for you, sacrificed for you. He gave up so much of his time away from his new born baby to give you the comfortable life you lived but just the same he couldn’t see what you had been sacrificing. “You wanted to have this baby too, Y/N.” He lashed out sitting forward more towards the edge of the couch. His puppy dog face had completely vanished a long time ago. He looked at you like he hated you. You knew he didn’t but right now you weren’t in the frame of mind to have that clear of thinking.

“Stop… do not go there. That’s fucked up and a line you can’t cross.” You were more upset now and rightfully so. Bringing the topic of having Teddy into this was unfair and uncalled for. The second he said it Trent felt a pit in his stomach. You stormed out of the room holding back tears till you were alone and far away enough for him not to hear. He wanted to take it back. He wanted to chase after you and hug you until you forgave him and made up. He wanted to go back to when you could just fuck this out and physically turn a lot of anger into a lot of love. That wasn’t going to happen. This was a battle of words. He knew things were bad, he knew what he said wasn’t great but he didn’t know hot to get to you without messing things up further so he kept his distance. After that squabble it was just days of awkward kitchen run ins. The only time you really spoke were in cutesy voices to Teddy who thankfully you assumed was oblivious to it all. She was maybe 40 days old. It wasn't like she could really pick up on the tension when you asked Trent if he had run the dishwasher but you didn’t want her around this negative vibe for long. You’d never experienced this type of long term strain with him. You never pinned either of you to be the type to hold a grudge but you both felt you had respective points to be made and wouldn’t let go. Once again, Trent had an away game and you murmured a feisty sarcastic ‘of course’ when he told you he was leaving the house. It was unnecessary so he ignored it and told you he loved you anyway. He still meant it, he just didn’t exactly love how cold you’d been towards him lately. It was before he was boarding his flight to come back home when you FaceTimed him. You were putting Teddy to bed. It was routine and just because you weren’t getting along didn’t mean you were going to deprive Teddy of seeing her dad before sleep. Your eyes were practically shutting from lack of sleep while Trent babbled to her.

“You know who’s just as perfect as you, baby bear? Your mummy.” You heard it and furrowed your brow. Were you crazy? Did he not know you had been fighting? You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, baby we gotta get through this.” He tried to get you to loosen your grip on the whole thing but you weren’t having it. Trent just wanted to brush over this, move and put a plaster over it. He wanted you back in his arms desperately. After you hung up you definitely felt a little bit guilty. You knew he was trying his best. It was just Trent’s way. All he wanted to do was love you but you needed something different than that right now. In a fun twist, it was Trent’s birthday this week. You couldn’t have felt more awkward about it. Truthfully and deep down you knew this fighting was temporary and you loved him so you didn’t want to taint a day you had the opportunity to really show him how much you did love him but you were stubborn. You didn’t want to be the one to say sorry first and you certainly were not going to go the rest of your life as a mother like this, you needed a conversation. Per usual as of late, you awkwardly both got ready in your wardrobe together. He asked what you wanted him to wear. Normally the task would excite you. You loved dressing him. He didn’t really mind either way even though he looked significantly better when you did. You could tell this was some sort of olive branch but it wasn’t enough. You just dragged your hand over the closet full of his tops lazily pulling out a Rhude t-shirt to hand to him. He gave a half assed smile disappointed his effort didn’t do anything. You put on a tanish grey linen off the shoulder mini dress. You actually liked it and felt okay in it. The dress was doing a lot considering you jusstttt had Teddy. He zipped your dress. His hands on your cold skin made you shiver. It was strange that his touch made you feel that way. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. You selected a pair of heels you hadn’t been able to wear since before you were pregnant. They just ran narrow and your swollen feet weren’t having it. You picked out a purse you bought in a pregnant haze. It was insanely kitschy and looked like a takeout box but it happened to be almost £2,000 from YSL. Trent probably gave into cravings in a different way than most people. You had bought some ridiculous things while pregnant but it was still cute. You stood in the mirror inspecting the full outfit.

“You look good.” Trent muttered out seeing you as he sat on the bed waiting for you. He meant it. He never said stuff like that if he didn’t. Dianne was coming over to take care of Teddy. You were not thrilled about leaving her but you wouldn’t be out long. It’s not like you and Trent were exactly eager to spend alone time together despite it being much needed. You had made a reservation at a Sushi place you went to when you celebrated his birthday on your first visit. It was sweet in theory but now it just rubbed it in how much things had changed.

“Tuna roll?” He asked you, inspecting the menu even though you both knew exactly what you were getting. You could recite his sushi order backwards. You were excited to finally have sushi again so as much as this was for Trent it was a little for you too. You ate your meal talking about basic things you might talk to a neighbor about, fairly generic for two people that lived together, that loved each other. You had ordered a special roll Trent was too scared to try but you made him have a piece anyway. He liked it and a while later he plucked another piece off your plate with his chopsticks. You widened your eyes at him, your jaw slacked. He gave you a cheeky grin with his cheeks full as he chewed. You kept eating until he did it again. You had now given him half of your order.

“T! Stop!” You giggled. He was so annoying and you hated how cute he was every time he was being a pest.

“I’ll buy you more, beautiful.” He cooed, taking a fourth of your six piece roll. You laughed at him shaking your head. It kind of felt like you were just beginning to date again. He was flirting with you and it made your heart flutter. You looked at him and watched in what felt like slow motion his big hand reach across the table to wipe a bit of soy sauce that had rested atop your lips. The feeling of his fingers on your lips, near your mouth, had your heart racing. Images of times he pushed his fingers in your mouth while he fucked you flashed in your mind. There was something about Trent in a white t-shirt. He just looked so fresh and clean. Sexy. It made you think of the first time you gave him head you remember watching his back muscles dance as he pulled the white t-shirt over his golden brown skin. You had hummed at the image.

“At a white t-shirt?” He questioned what you were possibly so enamored with.

“No, you in a clean white t-shirt after I just had your cock in my mouth” You corrected him. He couldn’t hold the grin back. He walked back over to you holding the pair of camouflage pants he was going to wear.

“It’s so good. I like this one. You always know the hits.” His voice cut off your moment of reverie. He was really fucking handsome. As messy and tense as things had been you’d never not be attracted to him and that only made it that much annoying when he did stupid shit. As you drove towards home it was like the mood lowered with every passing mile. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to get back to Teddy. You actually felt like you could burst with the need to get her back in your arms. It just was that this dinner was some sort of escape from the reality of things. There weren’t dog’s water bowls he could forget to fill at the restaurant.

It had been almost two months post birth and you really didn’t want to nor have any desire to have sex. You thought about his body that way for sure, but the idea of him touching your body was hard to imagine. Previously, sex was what birthdays between you and Trent consisted of and you loved it. It was fun and hot. A time to try things out, spend all day in bed but you were so exhausted and frankly sore. Your body felt anything but sexy… it felt gross like it wasn’t actually yours anymore. You often felt touched out at the end of the day. You had a baby on you practically 24/7. Sex was the last thing on your mind leaving Trent feeling fairly neglected and rejected. It was the perfect storm. You barely were sleeping together so the second you were he wanted to be all over you and the second he was you just wanted to be alone. You went to bed that night, backs facing one another with your arms slightly outstretched towards the middle of the bed linking pinkies not okay with being completely out of reach from the other. It was strange but gave you a tinge of hope. You laid in bed the next day and got to sleep in. Trent handled morning duties with Teddy. He even took her for a walk in her pram just to get her outside.

“She’s down for her nap.” He came back into your bedroom a while later. You just hummed.

“I’ll feed her when she wakes up again.” You practically scoffed at him for no reason. It was uncalled for but you just felt so annoyed. What were you two doing… it felt so unnecessary and yet you couldn’t get over the hurdle. Trent stared at you in bed. He didn’t like what he saw. He knew you, he knew your body so well and yet you almost looked foreign. You were limp, crashed into the bed, face first into the pillows, barely under the covers. It made him terribly sad. As hard headed as Trent could be, he wasn’t dumb. He was a really empathetic person; he just needed a minute to sort out his own emotions. He needed to really get a good look at you again. Like right now, it was like something changed. Like he finally understood what was going on.

“Y/N…” he cooed softly sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. He very cautiously reached his hand out to stroke your arm. You felt cold. He shut his eyes, hating how things had been. You had just become a family, welcomed your baby girl together and yet you had never felt less like one. He kissed the back of your arm. You shivered feeling the lips you absolutely adored for the first time in a while. You missed him. “I want to make things better. I’m really sorry. Can we talk?” He nervously murmured out. A barely there subtle soft smile pulled on your face. You knew you would get to the point of having a calm discussion about what’s been going on. You didn’t think it would take so long and honestly you didn’t think it’d be him to initiate it but it didn’t matter. You sat back against the headboard of your bed and pulled your knees to your chest. You looked at him closely inspecting his face to see if it had changed any since you last had a proper look. It hadn’t. His eyes still had a warm honey hue in the light, lips still perfectly plump, his skin annoyingly smooth despite minimal effort. His amber smell wafted towards you.

“I’m sorry too, baby.” You looked at him with obvious pain in your eyes. When he heard the pet name he knew you had to just make it through this conversation and everything would be a lot better.

“I know I should know and understand without having to do this but can you explain to me what you’ve been feeling? I want to hear you out so I can be better. Just tell me what I need to do to get things back on track. How do I do more than I’m doing? I feel exhausted.” He babled a little feeling just as nervous as you. His words kind of broke your heart. He really was trying his best. He didn’t know how to do anything different yet.

“T… I know you do a lot for me, for her, for us but as much as it is work for you… you do get to leave here everyday. You get the escape. I know you think about us when you’re not here” he nodded, confirming he definitely did think about you but he didn’t want to interrupt you so he stayed silent. “Just consider for even the 90 minutes when you are fully focused on a match. As you should be, I’m not saying otherwise. That's 90 minutes I’m alone, with her, at home, and unfortunately still dealing with a lot of the physical aftermath as well. Like my body is in so much discomfort and pain and I have her on me constantly. I don’t mean to sound patronizing but you could never understand how I feel in my own body right now… and that’s just the some odd 90 minutes we’re talking about not all the days you’re away for” your eyes started to welle. “I need you to support me a little here.” Your voice was shaky. Trent reached out and grabbed your hands.

“I want to support you, baby I’m so sorry.” He quivered, upset you had been feeling this way. “I hate that I wasn’t thinking about things that way. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, what you went through to give us our family. I think I pull out this card that I am providing for you because it’s one of the only things I can give back to you. Only thing I know I can control and contribute. You give me so much, you gave me her. It’s hard because I know the way you provide for me is something I’ll never be able to reciprocate.” He stared at your intertwined hands unable to look you in the eyes. “I do think about you 24/7. I feel like I’m gonna cry when I pull out of the driveway and it’s not just about leaving Teddy, it's leaving you. It’s different now, leaving. I feel like I’m letting you down when I go. It was easier for me lately just to shut it out and not tell you that because I feel so guilty. Everytime I’m on the pitch laughing I just hope you’re at home laughing with her.” He tried to explain his rational and you understood.

“T, that’s the problem though. I don't want to be at home all the time. I don’t want you to feel guilty, baby, either but we really need to find a way to help the other person with what they’re going through. We’re both doing this for the first time and it’s really fucking hard” your voice was shaking realizing just how difficult things had been.

“We work a lot better together. I’m not keen on the whole opposing sides thing. How do we figure this out?” You knew Trent was very action oriented so you thought for a moment how to explain things.

“Okay…erm like I need to go get my hair done. Can you please actually tell me you’re taking her. Not go to your mums… like you, baby. Take her, don’t offer. She’s your baby too. And honestly, not even just going to do my hair, even showers at home, T. During the day if you’re here. She’s like glue… constantly stuck to me.” You giggled a little bit thinking about your baby girl’s clinginess.

“She’s cute glue to be fair” he laughed and it shattered your heart in the best way. He hadn’t laughed with you since dinner. You shook your head with a smile knowing that was half the issue here. Teddy was so cute, everything had just been glossed over every time she batted her eyes. “But I understand, baby.”

“How can I help you, T?” you asked, moving your hand to his thigh. Your touch sent electricity coursing through his body. He was staring at your hand on him before his eyes flickered up to lock with yours he gave you the most beautiful smile you loved. Childish, full.

“You know, maybe you can drive me AXA or come see me. I don’t mean to make it about footie but it’s where I have to be for almost 7 days a week. I want to see her. I want to see you.” He looked scared to even bring up football at the moment but he was right it was his whole life.

“I got it. We can do that. Would be nice. Little carpool… drop daddy off.” You cooed with a giggle bobbing back and forth on the bed thinking about it. You could feel the air lifting and lightening as you continued breaking down how to be more supportive. You talked for ages outlining things you both needed help with. “We can do this, hmm? “ you said apprehensively. He winked at you and your heart skipped a beat. You much preferred when you were on good terms. You gave him a childish smile. Both shy and confident about being able to figure this out with him.

“There she is.” He cooed, stroking his thumb over your full cheek. “My beautiful girl. I love you so so much. I’m sorry, baby. Honest. C’mere.” He pulled you into him and you felt your whole body relax. Relax more than it had in months. “We’re gonna be okay.” He kissed you. You felt a shiver run up your spine in the best way. You felt relief.

“And on cue… she’s nothing but persistent” you giggled hearing Teddy coo over the baby monitor. Trent kissed you again. He started to stand up from his seat on the bed.

“You want to shower? I’ll go get her.” He asked you genuinely serious.

“Funny…” you quipped back not amused with the joke you thought he was making.

“I’m serious! If we’re gonna do this you have to at least let me help you!” He laughed at you. He pulled you by your hands up from the bed. He placed his own hands on your shoulders and walked you into the en-suite.

“Okay, okay, I can do it.” You wiggled out of his hold and began to pull off your clothes. Laughing as your dragged your top over your head.

“So difficult” he teased with a similar laugh squeezing your now bare sides. He began to walk out of the bathroom.

“Hey T…” you stared in the mirror back at him. He turned around with a hum. “I love you, baby.” You said sheepishly but still very sure of it. He nodded with a soft sympathetic smile. “Could we maybe do a birthday redo today with Ted?”

“I love you more than anything in the world, beautiful. Absolutely, you girls going to to take me out?” He thought he was so so funny all the time. The corniness was half the charm. He just was cute and simultaneously sexy.

“Just so annoying all the time.”you joked as he walked a little closer to you before he smushed another wet kiss onto your cheek that you loved. When he came back in with Teddy already dressed, ready to go, you knew things were going to be fine. You both were just new at this whole parenting thing. Trent drove down into the city center and you felt so incredibly domestic going on a family outing. You decided on something low key and normal so you went out to get coffees and walk the docks.

“I haven’t been down here for ages.” He spoke into the crisp fall air. He pushed Teddy’s Dior pram back and forth as you sat outside at a little coffee place you loved.

“You’ve been missing out on a very good croissant” you mumbled with your mouth full.

“Clearly.” He laughed at you before pulling a hearty piece from your croissant to pop in his mouth.

“Me and Marce used to come here all the time, you know?” You kept talking. You weren’t even sure he knew that. So it made you smile to connect again. Talk about things and open up.

“You two do so much shit without me” Trent feigned jealousy but as much as he joked you knew he actually did feel a little envious of all the relaxed down time you and his brothers shared together.

“We’ll start being bad at your job and maybe you wouldn’t have to play in Europe all the time, you could hang with us.” You teased leaning over to check on Teddy.

“You know you maybe should’ve been a comedian, baby. Just hilarious all the time. So funny. I’m dying of laughter.” He said with a completely straight face. You could tell though he was making a big effort not to crack a smile at you. “What do you think, Ted? Is mummy funny?” Trent cocked his head to look at her. She just wiggled in her seat excited she was getting attention from him. She loved anytime Trent even walked into a room let alone paid her mind. You grabbed her tiny hand gently folding it into a thumbs up and showed it to him. He rolled his eyes at you.

“You said that on our first date too and I think I proved you wrong. I am funny. You do think I am whether you want to admit it.” You teased referring to when you met outside your apartment for the first time telling him you would have to take the subway to dinner.

“You’re not as funny as you think” he quipped. You walked next to him up to the corner of your block towards the restaurant.

A lot of memories came up lately just because of the massive change you were experiencing. A part of you felt like you were mourning the loss of the juvenile versions of yourselves who didn’t have a care in the world. Your only concern was being each other's arms and the painstaking moments between kisses. Now… now you had a life you had to support, a human to raise. You reached across the table and grabbed Trent’s hand. You ran your fingers back and forth over his knuckles. He smiled at you and picked his hand up with yours. He pressed his lips lightly to your skin. You picked your head up to look at the water, as a boat further out in the river coasted by. You clocked a man taking a photo of Trent as you sat at the table outside the cafe.

“Seriously, if only you were bad at your job.” You nodded subtly towards the man. Trent turned to see him after your gesture. He looked back at you with an apologetic look. He was just trying to spend time with you and Teddy so when the man came over it was a little awkward but he was still really kind and patient. Trent really didn’t want a photo of Teddy out yet though so he politely declined the photo.

“Sorry, mate, I’d love to but I’m with my family right now. It was lovely to meet you though. Thank you for all your support.” Trent spoke low, not trying to draw more attention to himself in downtown Liverpool.

“You can.” You whispered with a nod of approval not minding if he took a photo.

“Ahhh yeah alright lad, you know what we’ll take one quick. Face this way.” Trent turned so the city was behind them in the photo, not you and Teddy. He winked at you. You picked up Teddy from her pram and kept her tight to your chest, rocking her gently.

You went home and ate dinner at your dinning room table with your family. You couldn’t believe you had a family now but you were just happy that you and Trent were back to the place you were in before. You made the cake you previously had planned to with the help of some grubby fingers taste tasting and they weren’t Teddy’s. You had given Trent his presents on his actually birthday but this felt more important, more special. You wanted to make Trent something from scratch. You grew up with the luxury of learning how to bake and cook, not needing to. Your mum brought you with her to France to take some classes for your 16th birthday once and you found you had a knack for it. It was a good cake to be honest, a take on funfetti. You had shown Trent funfetti when you were on a trip back in the US once and he just loved it so that was that. Birthday cake decision made. You placed birthday candles in the cake and dimmed the lights in your dining room and sang happy birthday to him swaying with your baby girl. When you finished and he blew out his candles he pulled you into his lap. You sat down nuzzling your face into his neck.

“Happy Birthday Daddy, we love you so much, T.” You kissed his neck again and again. Teddy attempted a giggle and a smile fascinated with the noise of your lips peeling on and off his skin. “Say happy birthday dada” you cooed squishing Teddy’s cheeks together with one hand gently. She squealed. You both laughed at her excitement.

“Thank you my beautiful girls. You’re my whole world. I love you both so much.” He gave Teddy a big kiss and you pouted at him as you waited for yours. Teddy wasn’t sleeping through the night but her naps were getting longer you guessed. You and Trent laid her down for what Trent was hoping to be an especially long one.

“Did I tell you how sexy you looked today?” He whispered in your ear with a cheeky nibble to your earlobe as you walked down the hallway. His arms hung around your frame heavily. You rolled your eyes swatting at his arm.

“C’mon, baby. How often do I tell you you’re sexy? I need you to know how sexy you are.” He cooed as you entered your bedroom. He plopped onto the edge of the bed and you went to follow him for a cuddle. You wanted to be close to him. Finally back in each others good graces you wanted to feel connected. Trent did too just in a different way. He held his hand out to stop you from coming closer. You cocked your head confused. You backed up a few steps and stared at him waiting for him to tell you some sort of direction.

“Lemme see. I know you. Lemme see what you have on today.” He spoke with a tone that sent the most excited shiver running down your spine, your pussy throbbed. You gradually began to pull your clothes off, layer by layer. You stripped for him. You giggled at the way it made you feel. Trent had a way of making you feel sexy without even touching you. The way his jaw slacked. You turned away from him to slide off the trousers you had on, bending over. He groaned throwing his head back as you spun around for him. He shook his head in disbelief of your figure. “Still my birthday?” You nodded with a shy smile. “Lay down for me…” so you followed instructions. He watched you lay back on the bed. To be fair you hadn’t really thought of doing this tonight but regardless you always liked to get undressed in front of Trent revealing little lingerie sets and he knew you did it for him. You wouldn’t even turn to acknowledge him as you’d lean over the bathroom sink counter in different colored lace every day just for show. He climbed over you and looped his finger under the middle of the sheer black Gucci bralette you’d chosen for today. Your breath hitched. Okay, now you were definitely thinking about it. You were praying he’d be gentle with you since this would be your first time after Teddy but also funnily with the lingerie too; you liked it and it was expensive. You’d lost too many pairs of panties over your relationship with him to tears. He looked down at you with a look you forgot made your heart race. He kissed your ankle. “I love these legs, I love these thighs.” He worked kisses all over and up your whole body. “I love this hip, this stomach..” he kissed every bit of you. You couldn’t get enough of falling back into the swing of things with him.

“Baby, be gentle with me, okay?” You said to him with fear in your eyes. You sighed a little embarrassed. He just looked at you in adoration.

“I’ll take care of you, yeah? I always do. Make you remember just how beautiful I think you are.” He whispered into your ear. The vibration alone made goosebumps raise on your skin. You had the biggest fucking smile on your face after he said that. You knew you were in for a treat. Sex with Trent was something you hoped you would never struggle with. His hand lightly grabbed your jaw pulling you into a kiss. His plump soft lips feeling as perfect as ever. He dragged his hand down your throat and you moaned missing this feeling. This feeling of Trent in total control of you. He kept his hands on you and over you before he cheekily pitched your nipples.

“Oh, fuckkk” you yelped out incredibly sensitive and incredibly turned on.

“Open your mouth f’me, beautiful.” He cooed and without needing to think you did. Your eyes widened in awe of how sexy he looked above you. His other hand beginning to work his length. You sucked around his fingers licking the underside like you would his cock. He abruptly pulled them out and guided them down to your pussy. He ran his fingers through your folds before he began to slowly pump two thick digits inside of you. “Fuck, baby. I missed this pussy. Feel so good already” his voice rumbled in the quiet room as his thumb stretched up to roll over your clit.

“C’mere baby. You’re so fucking soaked I bet I could just…” he dragged his tip through your wet pussy. You weren’t expecting to be as wet as you were but it was Trent you shouldn’t have been all that surprised. “You’re so beautiful and all mine” he paused perfectly, lining up his cock with your entrance and suddenly all of the air slipped out of your lungs. He was on his knees in front of you holding your one leg up as you laid back into the mattress. His firm grip around you doing most of the work.

“Oh my fucking god, T…” Oh my god was right. You could never forget how good the sex was but this. This felt really fucking good. Your eyes fluttered closed as he slowly pushed deeper, sticking to his promise to be gentle. You gasped feeling his length. You cupped his scruffy cheeks. You blew out short breaths as you tried to adjust to his size.

“I love you so much, you know that right?” He whispered again. He felt good but also slightly uncomfortable and strangely new again. He sank his body weight down on top of you so that he became your entire focus trying to not let your mind spiral into anxiety about what he thought you felt like after your baby. You could only nod. You breathed heavily. Your legs wrapped around his arm curling to hook around it, shutting your eyes in pleasure.

“I love you, T.” You whined as you felt your legs tremble already. He nuzzled impossibly deeper. You blinked your eyes open. You locked with his deep brown eyes, soft and sensitive filled with sincerity. You tried to makeout with him needing to feel those lips on yours but you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think let alone multitask as he began to thrust into you slowly. You were anxious to do this but frankly, Trent felt unbelievable and if possible maybe somehow better than that. Being back inside you had his head spinning. His heart faltered a little seeing your beautiful face scrunch up. His body weight further pressed onto you while he scooped his arm under your other leg holding it up closer to your chest Your nails dug into his biceps leaving crescent marks. You whined a sound that was music to his ears. You found a rhythm that worked for you. A rhythm that made your slightly enlarged boobs bounce more for him.

“God, I love your tits, baby.” He said it with a smile eliciting a giggle from you at the compliment. Sex had never felt better emotionally. Your eyes started to water. You felt so in love with him. “You okay, baby? Tell me you’re okay. Tell me you want this?." You really did appreciate his concern; it was just hard to talk at the moment. He leaned closer to your neck licking over your most sensitive spots waiting for a response. “Hmm?”

“I want you, T. You just feel really good.” You whimpered. Tears filled your lash line so he slowed. “Please, T… more.” His eyes widened. He was nervous his current pace was already too much so it was a surprise to hear.

“I'm right here. You have me.” His face was hovering over yours. He managed to give you the kisses you so desperately wanted all over your face, your neck, your shoulders underneath him. You clenched around him. He felt it and almost giggled. He was excited to have this power back. “You wanna be a good girl and cum for me, baby?”

“I’m gonna cum. Please. Please, T. Make me cum.” You moaned as he pushed a little deeper inside with every thrust. A familiar but distant feeling crashed over you. Your brain turning to mush. His cock throbbed inside you. He grunted overwhelmed seeing you cum under him once again. He could imagine it all he wanted but he missed seeing it in real time. “T… cum inside me again, okay? Make me take all of it. I want it. Cum for me.” You whined more. He let out a strained breath. That was it for him. Knowing you missed this. That you wanted this. Wanted him. He tipped over the edge, pumping you full of his cum. With one more final deep thrust he ran his hands through your hair grabbing it pulling your head forward into the most passionate kiss you might’ve ever shared. The tension you had felt the past few weeks evaporated. You stayed tight to his body as you breathed heavily. You both were panting as he leaned his forehead on yours before he as tender as possible pulled out. He sat back for a moment and admired you. Stroking up your thigh gingerly, he breathed out a sigh of appreciation.

“Can you be a good girl f’me and spread your legs.” He asked so kindly you did it almost instinctively. “Fucking unreal. Every day since I met you.” He kissed from your stomach up to your neck nuzzling his face in his hands trailing behind his tongue the whole way. You thought you’d cuddle till Teddy woke up but you were wrong. You spread your legs the best you could. Trent cursed. His fingers traced through your folds gathering up the cum. He swiftly and slowly dipped two of his fingers inside of you. The sensation was so overwhelming and overstimulating. He pumped them methodically, deep, curling inside you.

“Wait.. wait baby. Ah!” You whined. Your hips bucking up into him.

“Gimme one more, baby.” He asked as he nibbled on your neck. You couldn’t handle the feeling. It was too much and you had poor control. You came hard and fast, squirting a little.

“Fuck… T” You panted so heavily. Completely out of breath. You just laid there eyes closed as your chest heaved up and down. You needed a moment. He laughed and frantically laid down next to you pretty proud of his work. You were tangled up in bed until you heard the little coo and whine you loved so much.

“Lemme go check on her, you stay put. I bet you’re tired.” Trent winked at you and as annoying as his playful comment was, it was very true. He pulled on his boxers and sweats and walked down the hallway into Teddy’s nursery.

“Baby bear, you okay?” Trent cooed, scooping Teddy up gently as her cries lulled. He hummed, swaying back and forth. “Wish you could tell me what you’d need. I’d do it right away, you know that?” He pressed his lips to her identical ones. “‘My little Ted. You’re so beautiful. You look like me, but I can’t tell you’re perfect just like mummy, baby girl” he whispered softly to her. It was a while later and you still laid in bed expecting to have fallen right to sleep after all that with Trent but you couldn’t knowing your two favorite people in the world were still awake just down the hall. You got up and put on a little gray sleep set. It was comfortable and that’s just what your body needed right now because you definitely were sore.

“I felt left out.” You pouted in the doorway of Teddy’s room looking at Trent reading her a book. He picked his head up with a soft smile and beckoned you over to sit on the couch with them. Teddy’s face lit up.

“Oh wow… you excited to see mummy, huh teddy girl? Weren’t that excited to see me.” Trent teased. You slapped at his bare chest before grabbing her. She hiccuped overly excited. Her head fell onto you. You hummed kissing her chubby cheek . “I like this.” He pulled on the fabric of the tiny shorts you were in. You shrugged.

“You can continue. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” You giggled a little. You smushed your face into Trent’s arm ruining your view of the colorful book but making a better one for her. You pushed your lips to kiss Trent as he read. The sound of his voice was perfect, calm and steady. It lulled you into an incredibly sleepy state. Trent plucked Teddy out of your tired arms to hold her more securely. He wrapped his free arm around you and pulled you into him. Your head fell onto his shoulder. You hugged his waist tightly.

“My girls. Hmm?” He cooed, pressing a kiss to you and Teddy. You fell asleep listening to him. He let you and Teddy sleep on him for a while. He just relaxed, closing his eyes, happy with the affection, rubbing his hands up your back. Some time later Teddy woke up and was restless. Her little grunts and whines woke you up. “You wanna feed Ted then you and me can go try to get in bed?” Trent cooed with a sympathetic smile knowing you were exhausted. You nodded still half asleep but you understood. Sticking to your schedule was important for all of you. It took longer than expected to get her fed and down again but you did it. You draped your arms around Trent’s shoulders just staring up at him tired in her room. He pressed his nose to yours. His hands cheekily sliding over your ass. He kneaded it, raising up the material of your shorts. He pulled you closer into his embrace. He cupped your ass and picked you up from under your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“We’re actually going to bed… like sleep, right?” You cooed as Trent walked you back to your room in his arms. He laughed a little. You were nervous with the way his hands were on you if he was trying to have sex again and you were sure you could handle that yet.

“Yeah. We need to sleep. I have to go in tomorrow at 10 too.” He cooed as you stroked your thumb over his cheek. You pushed your face into the nape of his neck until he placed you on your bed. “Baby, we’re gonna be okay. I promise we’ll work on this together. I won’t let us get that way again. I know we’ll have our dips but we’re just learning to grow together.”

“I agree. Just have to talk more I think. I’m sorry I didn’t express how I felt. It’s unfair to assume you should know how I feel without me verbalizing it, that you know what is going on when we’re both doing this for the first time.” He shook his head dismissing your apology. “We might have dips like you said but T, I want this. I want us. I want this to work. God, I need this to work. I don’t think I could survive without you.”

“You could but you’ll never have to. Never even give you the chance to find out.” He cut you off. You squeezed his arm.

“I don’t want to find out. T… what do you think will happen next for us?” You tucked in closer to him cuddling up in your bed. He didn’t respond right away so you felt a little taken aback. Awkward almost. Ironic considering the things that were just said. “Like in the next five years, you know?” You tried to clarify.

“No, I know what you meant. I was just thinking of how I wanted to phrase it. I know this sounds cheesy so don’t make fun cause I’m serious.” He spoke slow. You hung onto every word of his.

“Serious” you mocked his accent and he gave you glare. You just smiled back.

“Next five years for me… just loving you. I’ve told you a million times I want to get married. I know we’re not too far into this one but I’d want another another baby… you know whenever you’re ready.” He tried to unnecessarily explain there was no pressure.

“Really?!” You would’ve squealed with excitement if Teddy weren’t finally asleep. You had jumped at the word marriage. “What ring are you gonna get meeee?” You giddily teased and moved even closer to him, laying your head and hand on his chest. “I think if I were to like make my perfect ring from scratch..” you began talking at the speed of light. You were off in dream land now. “I want a tou et moi because that’s what my parents did.” He nodded with a smile lovingly the way you spoke, the way you looked when you got excited. “I like the two-stone setting too. It’s just so beautiful to look down and see like a real representation of two people together and I kinda like the idea of the three ring deal.” You were referring to the concept of having one ring for engagement, one for marriage, and one for eternal love, usually anniversaries. Trent listened intently watching your animations. He’d asked you before nonchalantly what you wanted but you didn’t think much of it. You knew he talked about marrying you but you didn’t know when or even if that would happen.

“Oh yeah?” He picked up your left hand and kissed your knuckles. He felt pretty good about himself imagining what he has had hidden downstairs in a safe for about a year now.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 8 xx

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #taa66 #oursfic

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roses-r-rosie3 · 1 year

Text

Caught

Ethan Landry x M!Reader

SPOILERS FOR SCREAM 6!!!!

Warnings: smut, cursing, drinking

Summary: Everyone thought y/n and Ethan hated each other but the truth is, Y/n and Ethan have been hooking up with each other secretly

(I actually made the gif myself! I’m so happy how it turned out)

Y/n and Ethan were known not to like each other, or so everyone thought. Everyone knew not to place the two in a room together or else they would start an argument out of nothing.

Both Ethan and y/n were invited to the Halloween party. Y/n decided to go as a magician. When y/n arrived to the party with Tara, he saw Ethan with Chad. “Tara I thought you said he wouldn’t be here!” Said y/n. “Oh come on, you two definitely like each other, and besides you can just avoid him the whole party it isn’t that hard” said Tara joked. “Fine” said y/n.

Y/n and Ethan have secretly been dating for a couple weeks, not wanting anyone to know about their relationship. Y/n took a Drink and went over to Mindy and Anika. “Hey guys” said y/n. “Hey y/n, sorry we didn’t tell you Ethan was going to be at the party, we thought it would be a funny little prank” said Anika. “It’s fine” Said y/n as he finished his drink. “I’m going to go get another drink I’ll be right back” said y/n. Y/n just poured his self another drink.

As y/n was walking back towards Anika and Mindy as he bumped into Ethan, causing y/n’s drink to splash both of their costumes. “What the fuck is your problem!” Said y/n causing a scene. “What do you mean! You’re the one who bumped into me” said Ethan. Before the argument could get any more tense Anika and Mindy pulled y/n and Ethan away from each other. “Hey, hey, it’s fine, it happens, let’s just move on” Anika told y/n as Mindy went to go talk to Ethan.

Ethan’s pov (kinda)

“Hey what was that about” Chad asked Ethan. “Y/n is always causing a fucking scene. He spilled his drink on me and now he is acting like I started it” said Ethan. “You guys have to start getting along, we are all in the same friend group after all” said Chad. “And besides-” Chad said before he was interrupted by Anika. “Hey big guy, you’re needed” said Anika.

That whole thing happens and they walk back to Sam’s apartment

Tara told Chad to get Sam as they turned on the news. Y/n noticed Ethan giving him glances from across the room. The h/c haired boy received a text from Ethan. Y/n opened the text as he rolled his eyes.

E: Did I do good at acting babe ;)

You: you did good Ig

E: oh?

You: you could’ve done a better job

E: If I was that bad at acting then I guess I should tell everyone that we’re together

You: Fine, you did good

E: I could do good at so many other things

You: What is that supposed to mean

E: Yk what I mean

Y/n was about to respond when Anika said something. “Who are you texting that is making you smile so much y/n?” Anika said teasingly. “No one” said y/n blushing a bit. “Ooh, y/n has a boyfrienddd, I wonder who it isss” said Quinn teasing y/n. “It’s none of your business” said y/n as he looked over at Ethan who was trying not to laugh.

Time skip to when Sam and Tara leave to go to the police department

“I’m going to go back to our dorm, I’m slumped” y/n told Anika because they shared a dorm. Shortly after Ethan was running over to y/n. “Hey babe, you wanna go to your dorm or my dorm to do this” Ethan told y/n as he started to leave hickeys on y/n’s neck. “Easy there tiger, we could get caught if you start giving me hickeys out here” chuckled y/n. “But let’s do it at my dorm” said y/n.

As soon as y/n and Ethan walked into y/n’s bedroom they got down to business. As y/n closed the door behind him Ethan started to pin y/n against the door as he began kissing the shorter boy. Y/n started kissing back as he put his hand under Ethan’s shirt. Y/n lifted Ethan’s shirt over his head as he pushed Ethan onto the bed. Y/n started giving Ethan hickeys around his neck. Ethan whining as y/n did so. Y/n started kissing down Ethan’s body, making sure to kiss every spot. Y/n started to unbuckle Ethan’s pants as he started kissing Ethan’s V line. When Y/n pulled Ethan’s pants down he decided to tease Ethan. Kissing the fabric that outlined what the h/c haired boy really wanted.

“For fucks sake y/n just blow me already!” Ethan begged. Y/n let out a chuckle as he pulled down Ethan’s boxers. Ethan’s dick sprang forward as y/n started to put the tip in his mouth. Ethan let out a groan as y/n did so. Y/n started going further down Ethan’s length. Y/n bobbed his head up and down as Ethan rested his hand in y/n’s head. “F-fuck~” Ethan groaned as y/n was working on him. Ethan started to thrust his hips, not being able to contain himself. Ethan let out a lot of moans as he felt his climax coming. Finally Ethan let out one last groan as he came down y/n’s throat. Y/n couldn’t swallow all of the seed that Ethan made, so some of it came down the side of y/n’s mouth and onto Ethan’s now glossy dick.

“It’s your turn now babe” Ethan said as he switched positions with y/n. He slowly started to pull y/n’s pants down. He started to tease y/n, making y/n feel the frustration he felt when y/n was teasing him. When Ethan was done teasing he decided to put y/n’s whole length in his mouth with no warning. “Fuck!” Y/n groaned loudly as Ethan started to go down the other boy’s length roughly. Y/n was holding onto the bedsheets tightly as Ethan started to go faster down y/n’s length. “I’m going to cum” y/n groaned. That gave Ethan motivation to suck faster and harder. Y/n released a loud moan as he sprayed down Ethan’s throat. After Ethan was done he started to go next to y/n giving him a kiss as they cuddles with each other.

“We should do this more often” chuckled y/n as he kissed Ethan. Y/n heard the front door open. “Fuck” y/n whispered as he tried to find his clothes. Anika knocked the door and walked in after not hearing a response. Anika let out the loudest scream to where Chad, Mindy, and Quinn ran over to y/n and Anika’s dorm. “What is it!” Yelled Mindy as she saw that Anika was covering her eyes. Quinn peaked in the room to see Ethan and y/n changing. “Holy shit” she chuckled. “I fucking knew it!” Said Chad as Ethan and y/n walked out with their hair still messy. “I knew there was something up with the two of you” said Mindy as she laughed. “Well I’m definitely going to need therapy” said Anika as she went to go turn on the tv to get her mind off of what just happened.

A/n: Thank you guys so much for voting and helping me decide on what to write next!

#ethan landry #ethan landry x male reader #scream 6 #male x male #gay smut #male reader #male reader x scream #malexmale #mlm #mxm #scream x male reader #smut

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avatar-anna · 2 years

Note

please do one where y and harry r fake dating bc they're trying to make his jealous but yn is in love with him

buckle up, it's a long one!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

he said, “let’s get out of this town. drive out of the city away from the crowds.”

Y/n and Harry were on a vacation on the Amalfi coast. It was all driving with the top down, soaking up the sun, and exploring crystal blue waters on a yacht. It was pretty much magic. She was on the perfect getaway with the perfect guy.

Except they weren’t actually together.

They were starting in a movie together, and the producers and their respective managers thought it would be a good idea to generate press by setting up a fake relationship a couple months before the movie was set to release.

In theory, it made sense. Harry and Y/n were the two leading roles, they had great chemistry on and off the screen, and neither of them were currently seeing anyone, so there wouldn’t be any messy drama. In theory.

“Have you done this before?” Harry asked. He was laying next to Y/n in a shaded part of the yacht, close enough that it was clear they were “together” but not so close that they were suffocating each other. It was ridiculously hot outside, and all Y/n wanted to do was swim until her muscles were sore.

“What?” she asked, closing her book to look over at him through the shades of her vintage sunglasses.

“You know,” Harry gestured between the two of them. “This. The fake dating.”

“Twice. When I was first starting out. But then I was in a relationship for a couple years, and I don’t really like doing both, so.”

Y/n shrugged. She didn’t mind the PR stunts as much as other actors or celebrities seemed to. To her, it was just another job, and she had very strict boundaries and managers she trusted to respect them. It could’ve been a lot worse, and honestly she got to know a lot of cool people that way.

“Oh. I didn’t know you could decide to do one and not the other,” he said.

Like Y/n, Harry was wearing sunglasses, so she couldn’t see the expression in his eyes, but she understood well enough. Having freedom to choose like she could was a rarity in this industry.

“I was very clear about my boundaries when I first started working, but I also didn’t start my career as a teenager,” she said, sitting up so she could face him better. “Your managers are meant to support you and do what’s best for you, but they can lose sight of that sometimes. Don’t be afraid to tell them what you need.”

Harry nodded, but he still wouldn’t look at Y/n. Maybe he had a lot to think about. Or maybe she overstepped. Whatever caused his silence, she knew him well enough to know that it was time to leave him alone with his thoughts.

“I’m gonna go for a swim,” she said, standing up and shrugging off her cover up and removing the clip that had been holding up her hair.

Since Harry didn’t really say anything in reply, she figured he was just going to stay and read his book. Bukowski of all things, but Y/n didn’t want to broach that subject, mood change or not, so she kept her mouth shut about it.

The last few months, through chemistry tests and running lines together and hanging out just the two of them outside of filming, Y/n got to know Harry pretty well. He was a great guy with incredible talent, but he was also...a little moody on occasion. He sometimes took critiques to heart or just got in his head, and it just took over his entire demeanor.

She was pretty sure that's what was happening right now, so she decided to leave him alone. Y/n needed her alone time too.

After spraying on another layer of sunscreen, Y/n went to the edge of the yacht, staring down at the blue water beneath her. She was a city girl at heart, but getting out and getting away was always something she looked forward to. Having Harry here was just an added bonus.

Throughout the filming process, Y/n developed a bit of a crush on Harry.

Well, she technically had one before they met, having been a fan of One Direction and his solo work, but after they actually got to meet and talk and get to know each other, she only liked him more.

But Harry only seemed to see her as a friend, so she did her best to feel the same.

Y/n thought about the last few months as her eyes stayed trained on the water, almost in a trance. There had never been a moment in her career where she had feelings for a fellow cast member, but there was something about Harry. They were good friends, and even greater scene partners. Sometimes Y/n wondered if she was the only one who felt it, but she was too scared to ask.

“Head’s up!”

Before she could even think, Harry was running past and jumping off the yacht, taking Y/n with him. Squealing with delight, she was weightless for a moment, free falling until she eventually hit the water. It was cold, but not enough that she wanted to get out. When her head finally rose above the surface, she immediately splashed him.

“What the hell, Harry?”

His laughter bounced off the ocean, his smile brighter than the sun high up in the sky. It made Y/n’s stomach flutter. But when he swam over to her, she pushed those feelings down and focused on just enjoying her much needed and much deserved vacation.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

so bad, but he does it so well.

“I want—I want somehow to get away with you into a world where words like that—categories like that—won't exist. Where we shall be simply two human beings who love each other, who are the whole of life to each other, and nothing else on earth will matter!”

“Oh, my dear—where is that country? Have you ever been there? I know so many who've tried to find it. And believe me, they all got out by mistake at wayside stations. At places like Bologna or Pisa or Monte Carlo, and it wasn't at all different from the old world they'd left, but only rather smaller and dingier and more promiscuous.”

“Then what, exactly, is your plan for us?”

“For us? But there's no us in that sense! We're near each other only if we stay far from each other. Then we can be ourselves, trying to be happy behind the backs of people who trust us.”

“I am beyond that!”

“No, you're not! You've never been beyond, but I have. And I know what it looks like there. Beyond is alone, and I no longer want to be. You—”

“And cut! That was good guys! Really great stuff! Let’s take five and we’ll start again.”

The silence that had fallen over the scene and Y/n and Harry worked broke, dozens of voices commingling to make one big cacophony of sound until recording started back up.

Y/n stepped out of the old fashioned buggy and took the bottled water a production assistant handed her, careful not to smudge her red lipstick. She eyed Harry as we walked to the craft services table over the top of the bottle, watching as he spoke to a few crew members animatedly, gesturing wildly with his hands.

“A PR relationship might not be a bad idea,” a voice from beside her said.

Looking over, she saw her manager. It had taken a couple tries to find the right fit, but Marie had yet to steer her wrong. “You think?”

“You’re both young and at the height of your careers. It certainly wouldn’t hurt.”

“I don’t know, fake dating seems to be dying out. Everyone can see through it nowadays, can’t they?”

The idea of dating Harry was definitely intriguing, even if it was all just for show. But people weren’t as gullible as they used to be, not to mention Harry’s fans taking the term “fandom” to a whole different level. Y/n worried no one would buy it. Or that it might convey the wrong message.

“Does this project need a boost, or is this merely a suggestion?” she asked her manager.

Marie was blunt with her answer, but Y/n preferred it that way. “You know as well as I do that modern adaptations of classics aren't necessarily going to be critically acclaimed or received well by the public.”

“Barring Pride and Prejudice, of course,” Y/n said sagely.

“Of course,” Marie replied immediately.

They were on set of a slightly modernized adaptation of Age of Innocence. When the director came to Y/n about the project, she wasn't totally sure about it, for the exact reasons your manager mentioned. But the director had a vision, and when she explained it to Y/n, she started to see it too.

So she said yes to playing one of the lead roles. Y/n didn't meet Harry until the first table read, and at first she wondered if he was hired on to draw more attention to the movie, as he'd never acted in much before. But she realized pretty quickly that that wasn't the case.

Harry was gracious and kind and cared a lot about the project. He worked hard and asked everyone questions about so he could be better. He showed up early most days and never complained when night shoots ran late. He even brought coffee and pastries most mornings, even when there was an entire craft services set up.

It was safe to say that Harry was right for the job, on and off camera.

“Look, it really is just a suggestion. The movie would do just fine without it, but it might generate a bit more buzz if you did.”

Marie made good points, and Y/n trusted her completely. She knew her manager would never steer her wrong. “Well, you know my rules. And make sure Harry’s on board too. I won’t say yes I less he does.”

“You got it, boss," Marie said, and then she was gone in a flash, leaving Y/n by her lonesome.

The rest of the five minutes went by quickly, and before long, everyone was back in position, that hush enveloping the whole set once again.

Y/n loved that feeling just before the director called action. It was like she and whoever else she was acting with were the only people to exist. Peace settled into her bones as she took a few deep breaths, as hundreds of eyes inspected her every move, admired each one. Everything fell away when she acted. It was just her, her character, and the words she was meant to say.

Harry looked a little nervous, but Y/n just smiled kindly at him. Despite holding his own, he was still a little unsure of himself at times. He knew his lines, and had done a good job so far, better than good, really. Still, he'd come to Y/n for advice from time to time, and would even confess to being nervous on occasion.

"It's intimidating to act with so many talented people. Especially you."

"Me? Why me?"

"You make it look so easy. Leave some talent for the rest of us, would you?"

So Y/n became a mentor of sorts to Harry, which helped them grow closer as friends.

“Try to relax, you’re gonna be great,” she murmured to him, only loud enough so that they could hear.

“Thanks,” Harry said, grinning a little. “You too.”

Y/n smiled back, but once the director’s voice echoed across the silence, she was ready to fight with her secret lover.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

red lips and rosy cheeks.

“Smile!”

Harry turned towards the camera, a bright smile on his face.

The camera shutter clicked, and before long, a polaroid picture was in Y/n’s hands. Even though she didn’t have to, she waved the picture until the image appeared. Harry was all smiles. His cheeks were red from being out in the sun the last few days and freckles were starting to peek out from beneath his sunglasses.

“Cutie,” Y/n cooed, admiring the image in her hand. “You really do have an excellent smile.”

Harry blushed, but it just made her smile more. Taking the camera out of her hands, he pointed it in her direction. “Your turn.”

Y/n posed for the camera. She wasn’t the best at modeling but she did her best, though when Harry began to make faces and silly little comments, she couldn’t help but laugh around her wine glass.

They were wine tasting today. It was a day off from generating press on this vacation, but they still decided to spend some time together. Y/n was more than happy to oblige when Harry asked if she wanted to go wine tasting this afternoon. She feared that once this was all over, once the buzz from the movie died down, she and Harry wouldn’t hang out as much. It happened with every project she’d ever done. The cast would get close, but then life would happen and pull everyone in different directions. But she wanted this friendship with Harry to last, crush or not.

So she said yes to his invitation, more than happy to spend time alone with him. Did she take extra time picking out what she was going to wear? Yes, but she wasn’t going to read into it too much.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

i thought heaven can't help me now.

“This place is just gorgeous, isn’t it? I swear I’d give up acting to just have a little house, maybe even a vineyard like the one we went to, and live here. Just me and my eclectic group of animals.”

Harry chuckled as he picked a grape from the bunch on the picnic blanket you were sharing.

Re-shoots started about a week ago, so you and Harry were at a grand estate in Massachusetts. It was hot out, but not unbearably so. So to celebrate their last last scene filming together, Y/n nipped a bottle of wine, scrounged together some cheese, crackers, dried fruit, and a blanket, and invited Harry on a picnic on the opposite side of the property. They were away from all the cameras and crews and assistants and managers. Under a tree in the forest just beyond the estate, it was just them.

“We could get one together. It’d be rather successful, I think,” Harry said. He laid back on the blanket, stretching his arms behind his head. His shirt rode up to reveal a small sliver of his stomach, the tattoos he had still covered by stage makeup. Harry hated having to cover up tattoos, and not just because it meant extra hours in the makeup chair. He claimed tattoos made his body less boring.

Y/n kept her thoughts about his body to herself.

Shading her eyes, she looked down at Harry. “That would kind of defeat the purpose of being alone, though.”

“We’d have to keep it running somehow,” Harry said with a lazy shrug of his shoulders.

She tried to hide her smile at the sound of “we.” It would be hard enough as it was to say goodbyes without these thoughts on her head of her and Harry loving happily ever after on their own vineyard.

“We should probably get back. This place is huge, and I don’t trust either of us to find our way back after the sun sets.”

“A smart decision indeed.”

Y/n reached a hand out to help Harry to his feet, though she severely miscalculated her strength. She ended up slipping, landing on Harry with a soft oomph!

She laughed nervously, but didn’t move. They’d been in this position once before, but it was much different. There were cameras and people milling around and a director yelling “Cut!” and “Action!” and giving out pointers on how to make the scene more natural and fluid.

Now it was just them, with only a slight breeze and the occasional bird chirping to keep them company. The sun cast a golden light on Harry’s face, making his usual jade green eyes a beautiful amber. He truly is beautiful, Y/n thought, her eyes scanning every inch of his face.

“Y/n, what are you—”

“Oh God, nothing, I wasn’t thinking.”

Y/n scrambled away from Harry, not even wincing at the little rocks and sticks on the ground that scratched at her legs.

Almost as if in a trance, she had leaned down to kiss him. And for a split second, she thought Harry had leaned in too, but then he spoke and she’d obviously read the situation wrong.

Without even a glance in Harry’s direction, Y/n was speeding away. She wasn’t sure where she was going, all she knew was she needed to put as much distance between herself and Harry as possible.

How could she have been so stupid? Outside of their fake dates and scenes together, Y/n kept physical touch to a minimum, knowing that it would make her head all fluttery. But now? Now she couldn’t possibly hide her feelings from him. She tried to kiss him!

“Y/n! Y/n, wait!”

But she didn’t wait, she just kept going deeper and deeper into the forest, twigs and old leaves crunching beneath her old-timey costume shoes.

She couldn’t keep running forever, though, no matter how much she wanted to. Y/n was in shape thanks to her personal trainer, but she was still in her costume which cinched at the waist and wasn't the best to be running in. Her wig itched and her shoes pinched, so she eventually stopped, bending over as she panted.

“Oh thank God, these shoes are killing me.”

Harry was standing a few feet away, bent over just like Y/n was. The slick hairstyle he’d been given for this reshoot was falling limp over his brow, sweat lining his hairline. He straightened up before she did, though neither of them said anything for a minute or two.

Too focused on her breathing, Y/n didn’t notice Harry come closer to her. When she looked up, he was right in front of her.

“Was the running necessary?” he asked.

He was trying to lighten the mood, but Y/n was still absolutely mortified. “I—It was just in the moment, I swear. I know we’re just friends. Really, Harry, I’m so sorry. I—I would never want to ruin our friendshi—mmph”

“Shh.”

Harry pressed a finger to Y/n’s mouth, effectively shutting her up. Her eyes were wide as his looked her over, a blush forming on her cheeks when he focused on her lips.

Y/n’s heart was doing jumping jacks and flips in her chest as she waited for his next move. What was he doing? Was he messing with her? Why wasn’t he saying anyth—

And then his finger was gone and his lips were on hers. Y/n melted against him almost immediately. Like every other kiss she and Harry shared for work, this one just felt right, perhaps even moreso now that the only real motivation was because they wanted to.

But did he? Want to? What if he was only kissing her out of pity? He felt bad that she had feelings for him, and he was just trying to make her feel better.

“Stop—Why are you—Why are you doing this?”

“Well you —You were the one who tried to kiss me,” he said, though it sounded more like a question.

“It—It was just in the moment! I would never—I mean I don’t—”

“Oh, I get it,” Harry said, seeming to read the situation.

Y/n was ready for the rebuff, for Harry to tell her that he didn’t see her the way she saw him, that they were simply screen partners.

“You’re worried that if we sleep together it’ll ruin our friendship. But you don’t have to, not if we agree right now that feelings won’t get in the way. Should be easy, right? We’re friends.”

That was not at all what Y/n was expecting. She floundered for a moment, not really sure what to say. How was she supposed to tell him that it was too late? That feelings were already involved? She had to tell him, she knew that, but she was afraid of what would come after.

“Right. Easy. Just friends.”

Y/n knew it was wrong, and that she was an idiot for not telling the truth. But it was so hard to focus when one of his hands was on her waist and the other was gently cupping her face, all the while gazing down at her like he already had plans for when she agreed.

It’s just the movie, she told herself when he leaned in again. And again when he laid her down across her bed in the mansion. And she kept repeating that, telling herself that she didn’t have feelings for Harry, that she was merely attracted to her costar, nothing else.

She didn’t believe it, of course, but saying it made her feel better.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.

Y/n woke up to the sound of rustling.

Blinking her eyes open, she saw Harry rummaging through piles of rumpled clothes on the floor of her hotel room. It wasn’t an uncommon sight these days, but seeing him leave so early caused a pang in her chest.

“Where are you going?” she asked, trying hard to sound casual.

Harry turned around, a small smile on his face as he buttoned his shirt. “Back to my room. We have a long day of press junkets, and I want to get in a trip to the gym before our first interview. I’ll see you later?”

Y/n nodded, barely registering a kiss on her cheek before he was gone. He did that occasionally, but not enough to make it feel like their strictly physical relationship was anything but that. At the start of all this, she wondered if Harry would someday develop feelings too, but to her dismay, he kept his word.

She’d hoped he would feel it too, that after a while, he would realize that there was something there between them. But he never commented on it or did anything that would possibly reveal reciprocated feelings.

They would spoon after sex and talk a little, and sometimes the conversations were deeper than surface level. It felt like Y/n would see the “real Harry,” the unfiltered version, only behind closed doors. Outside of hotel rooms, he treated her like everyone else. Unless they were on a fake date, if course. So she did the same, feeling guilty every time he left.

With a huff, she fell back against the bed, wondering how she’d gotten herself into this mess.

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some day when you leave me, i hope these memories follow you around.

Premiere night. The first of many.

Y/n was dressed to the nines in a gorgeous baby pink gown, her hair curled and styled to perfection. Her style was something along the lines of classically vintage, loving the idea of breathing new life into the idea of “Old Hollywood glam.”

Harry had yet to arrive, but he would be on the carpet any minute now.

It came as no surprise to Y/n that he wasn’t standing next to her, though. Part of their whole charade was to reveal that she and Harry had “broken up” by arriving separately to the first red carpet premiere.

So she stood tall and posed, ignoring shouts asking whether she and Harry had broken up. And when attention turned towards the start of the carpet, Y/n couldn’t help but look too.

Harry was there, looking absolutely breathtaking in a suit that fit from collar to cuff. But that wasn’t the shock of the night.

Y/n could barely hide her shocked expression as he helped someone out of his limo, holding back tears as she realized it was one of their costars.

She was immediately bombarded by questions and demands for her comment on the situation, but for a moment, all she could do was stare at the couple, at the way Harry leaned in and whispered something in the young woman’s ear.

But just as he was about to turn her way, she centered herself. She had no right to, but she felt like her heart was shattering into a million pieces, each one more jagged than the last.

She finished walking the red carpet without breaking down, she even managed a greeting from Harry and their other costar.

He didn’t even seem like anything was amiss, like he had been in on this fake betrayal from the start, a fact that gutted Y/n even more.

When she agreed to this arrangement, she made sure that Harry knew about it and was on board. They openly communicated and agreed to a plan before putting it in motion. So to be so blindsided by two people she considered friends, especially Harry, was horrible. She didn’t have to act betrayed for the cameras, she was betrayed. By Harry and his managers, perhaps even her own.

Everyone settled into the theater, and the movie shortly began.

It was turning out great, but Y/n couldn’t even focus on that as Harry and his new “girlfriend” giggled and flirted just one seat over.

It made her feel like an idiot. He told her they were just friends, and now she knew why. Maybe when he kissed her that day in the forest, their costar was unavailable. Harry was too, Y/n supposed, having been caught up in all the PR relationship business.

Did that make her someone Harry settled for? A consolation prize? She didn’t want to think so poorly of Harry when she thought she knew him so well, but apparently she didn’t, if the last hour was anything to go by.

Having had enough, Y/n promptly stood up, holding onto the poofy skirt if her dress as she quietly left the theater.

She felt like a fool, and she really only had herself to blame.

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles angst

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polarisbibliotheque · 9 months

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So like, less of a suggestion and more of a question - I recently found your works and have just been blown away by the details (like, seriously, you're on the top of my favorite writers list) and just how... perfect you craft everything? I genuinely inspire to be like you, but the problem is that I've hit a rut - I'm super unsatisfied with my writing, and whenever I try to get back into the writing zone, I just fall flat. Is there any advice you could give on how to improve one's writing? What would be your tips and tricks at getting into that writing zone?

(Do apologize me taking SO LONG to answer, but I had some health emergencies the last couple of weeks and ended up in the hospital – I’m doing better now, chilling at home and trying to recover. My doctor is 90% sure I have Crohn’s Disease and I’m having many ups and downs trying to find a proper treatment that I seem to respond to. BUT…)

…I hope you are aware of how much you made me smile, blush and almost indulge into my teary eyes upon reading this. Hahahaha seriously, thank you SO much!! I can’t even thank you enough, I’m just in pure awe that another being in this big ol’ world we live in thinks so highly of my writing!!

I mean, not even I think that highly of my writing. Notice a pattern? ;)

One thing I learned being an artist – not only writing, I also draw, play the piano, write music on my free time/when inspiration hits, everything creative, I’m there, doing it – is that we’re never really satisfied with our work. We will always think we could’ve done something better, and we’re definitely going to be pretty “meh” about a lot of things we do – even when other people think it’s a masterpiece.

And that is good! We’ll always strive to perfect our skills! You just have to remember to appreciate the work you do even when you’re not completely satisfied with it. You will get to where you want to – but then, you’ll wish to improve even more! And that is awesome!

But hey, I do have some tips and tricks on improving and getting into that writing vibe!

For the people getting to the party now, my main tip on improving is here, in the first part of the answer for this ask! Now, now…

(long post below, as expected YEE BEEN WARNED!)

Regarding improving:

Read. A. Lot. Hahaha I know that’s quite an obvious one, but it’s really important. Personally, I think reading mindlessly just to fill a quota of “I read 25 books a month” doesn’t work. It works when you absorb it – when you allow yourself to plunge into the world of the book you’re reading, feeling the characters, the emotions, the settings… That helps you build your “mental library” so to speak! And sometimes you’ll find things and expressions you like that you might use both on your daily speech and while writing – for instance, I have this awful thing of saying “there’s a lack of wings to my words” whenever I’m speechless, because of Homer’s Odyssey. I freaking LOVE that book, I loved that expression, I use it all the time, and it has definitely bled into my writing.

WRITE! A LOT! Write bad stuff, good stuff, short 2 pages thing-ys that you go “hey that’s a good idea!” but you’ll never actually turn into a full story, random scenes, fanfiction, stupid fanfiction, serious fanfiction, self-indulgent stories, stories for your family, stories for yourself, stories for whoever wants to read or not, dreams that could be great stories… The point is to write. It’s much like drawing or playing the piano: if you don’t practice, you won’t get better and you won’t develop your style. The more you practice, the better you get! So don’t be afraid to write bad stuff, cringy stuff, or ridiculous stuff – or even stuff you thought would be awesome and turns out bad, or stuff you think will never turn into anything that turn amazing! One way or another, you’ll be refining your craft!

Identify what you like on writers you admire. I started noticing that while reading The Silmarillion. The Lord of the Rings is my favorite book since I read it for the first time when I was 15, but I didn’t pick up The Silmarillion until I was around 22 – and by then, I started underlining with a light pencil all the phrases I liked most, something my mom did on her old books when she was around my age. I then started taking a look at what I liked about Tolkien’s writing so much – and in other books too: what kind of phrases seemed to resonate more with my soul. Which ones brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. And then I notice I tend more to the unconventional ways of describing things.

For instance, instead of going like “she was beautiful, with pale skin under raven dark hair, blue eyes shining on her fair face” I tend to go for the unconventional, sort of eerie, not so much taken for granted kind of describing “her beauty glowed like the first pale star to glisten in the evening sky, under a deep sea of dark, velvety hair, making her eyes twinkle like sapphires with a smart look while carrying the light she kept in her soul”. If I had to, the second one would be how I’d describe Arwen or Lúthien, giving them that ethereal otherworldly beauty they have. It's also the one that evokes more feelings inside of me rather than just a mental image.

That’s why I try to describe some things in a different light. When I’m writing, I want people to feel something – but how can you describe that feeling of joy when you hug someone you love and the whole world fades for a minute? That’s when I go for the “his heart bled with gold while his hands never wanted to let them go. For a minute, time seemed to stop and there was nothing else but his heartbeat intertwining with theirs, beating as the same song – even if theirs was more melodic while his was more melancholic. It was that kind of tune that made his lungs not remember how to breathe and his eyes pour – while his lips reflected all the gold that cascaded from his heart.” It’s a quick (rather ridiculous) example, but I do think about some things: how when I feel like that, I tend to have a hard time breathing and I do cry, but it’s because I want to smile so much I cannot contain it. Then I try to describe those feelings with metaphors and poetic stuff because I’m a melodramatic bitch.

Jokes aside, it’s because I like that sort of writing that has that beauty behind it – or more of a melancholic approach. It’s what resonates the most with me and I adopted it, even if sometimes it feels too… Abstract. I like that ability of people piecing the abstractness together and having their own interpretation – and that’s what makes people have different feelings while reading the same thing.

Is this for everyone? Absolutely not. I bet some people despise all that poeticness I like to put on words to lace them like a painting, you know? So, the more you re-read the things you like, you’ll start identifying what resonates with you and you can apply that to your own writing!

And that doesn’t mean you’ll have to be locked on that writing style as well. I’m currently trying to finish a book (I hope someday I can publish it) which is a cyberpunk style story, with lots of inspiration from Cyberpunk 2077, Blade Runner, John Wick (yes, Keanu Reeves sends his regards) and all that poetic writing doesn’t quite fit there. I’m using more of a direct approach, but there’s a lot of existentialism and reflecting on overcoming grief, trauma, owning your own life and contemplating one’s own mortality – and that’s where that poetic, metaphoric, melancholic, bittersweet characteristic of my writing style comes into play. And then everyone starts cursing and shooting each other again :)

Having a style doesn’t mean getting stuck in it – it means knowing when and where to use it!

Now regarding getting into the writing zone:

I freaking ADORE music and it helps me A TON while I’m writing. It’s like setting the mood. I’m trying to be sexy, or mysterious, or having that vampire-y vibe? Depeche Mode playlist it is. Fight scenes? Metal and Electronic. I need to freaking focus and get to work without thinking too much about the music (or start dancing like crazy whenever a song I love comes in and there I am, dancing and singing in my room at 3 a.m)? Piano playlists – classic, modern, everything and anything, as long as it is piano.

Playing music that goes with what I’m writing also helps. For my cyberpunk book, for instance, I put on the Cyberpunk 2077 OST playlist/radio on, or I search for “Cyberpunk Ambience/Playlist” on Youtube and let it roll while I write. For my King Arthur stories (yes, still working on them), I put on Celtic music compilations, Enya, Loreena McKennitt or the piano playlists. For my vampire stories, be the medieval or the near-future one, dark piano, Dark Wave, etc. Perhaps searching for that one playlist that has to do with your story setting and listening to it for some time might get you in the zone!

I also usually write deep in the night. Because I’m a spawn of Dracula. After everyone at home has gone to sleep, I make myself some hot tea, sit on my computer, start listening to music and write. That’s because I know I won’t be interrupted, and I can do just that. Sometimes, I start writing at 1 a.m, other times earlier, other times later. Try to notice when your ideas seem to flow better and when you get more into the zone – but please, don’t be unhealthy as I am and go to sleep at a decent hour. I’m not an example here with my sleeping schedule hahahaha

Cringy moment: when I’m stuck, I act the last scene I wrote as one of my characters in the shower and, usually, ideas start to come in (and I have to get off the shower). Hahahaha now that’s just a weird one, but I have NO idea why, my best ideas arise in the shower. Water has a weird effect on me, so sometimes I just stand there with warm water pouring over my head and, lo and behold, I’m exiting the shower in a hurry because I just got my writer mood back HAHAHA so maybe some very mundane activity – like cooking, taking the trash out, cleaning the room – might be where your writer brain will come to life. You never know.

Needless to say, I talk to myself a lot, sometimes as if I’m talking to the characters. That is a very bad coping mechanism I developed when I was being bullied at school – I used to pretend Dante was with me when I was alone or something had happened and I needed someone by my side, so nowadays I have a very easy time writing this man. I started doing that with some of my characters, and that goes for repeating lines or part of the stories I’m writing to see if I can get un-stuck. It’s not the greatest of things, but it works. My neighbors might think I’m crazy, though xD

When I’m completely unmotivated or I keep staring at the blank page without being able to write, I try to immerse myself in what I’m writing about. So, if I’m stuck on my cyberpunk book, I watch some Cyberpunk 2077 let’s plays, I re-watch the Edgerunners anime, I re-watch Blade Runner, I re-read some parts of Do Androids Dream of Electrical Sheep? or I, Robot, I listen to Blade Runner’s soundtrack, I even try to play Cyberpunk 2077 (while praying not to get motion sickness or not having my pc exploding from overworking). If I’m stuck on my King Arthur works, then I re-watch the 2004 movie (may the gods bless Ioan Gruffudd and his wonderful Lancelot and Mads Mikkelsen as my beloved Tristan), re-read the 3 books on the Chronicles of Arthur series, listen to some Celtic music, research Arthurian stories for hours on the internet, search for my encyclopedias at home to see if they have something on King Arthur, read obscure translated manuscripts from ancient times on it … So, immersing yourself on reading, researching, listening to music, watching movies, playing videogames, listening to stories, watching series, reading mangas, watching anime, documentaries, going to the movies, basically doing anything that has to do with the theme you’re writing, may get you in the mood. Next time you sit down to write, it might flow wonderfully!

I don’t force myself to write, though. If I do, I usually can’t write a single decent word and I’ll hate it. If things aren’t flowing – and this I learned with my mom, who also draws – I leave it for a while and go do something else. Maybe I’ll have some warm tea, or watch a completely unrelated movie, or read my current book, or talk to my parrot in the kitchen, play some piano, draw a little, or just take a good nap. My mom says it refreshes the head and the eyes, and when you come back to it, you’ll be a lot more inclined to find things that weren’t working and let those creative juices flow.

I also have a very weird search history and I’m not ashamed of it. All writers do, and it’s better to have a weird search history than not knowing what you’re talking about, honestly. And sometimes, researching takes a lot more time than writing and might get you motivated – time spent learning is never wasted. Even if you’re learning what kind of dates grow in Greece and are offered to Apollo (bless his heart).

Sometimes, I write something completely unrelated, with a very different theme, and stupidly goofy – and that gets me back to the writing vibes. Sometimes there’s just this need of writing something for the sake of writing, and you just want something foolish to make you smile like a goof. It’s valid and it might be your ticket out of writing-rut-land.

Now some little uncalled for advices:

I spent too long being self-conscious and too serious about it. If it’s not your style, don’t force it. Some people need structure, other people thrive in chaos – know what’s your style and go for it. I hate planning novels, for example. But I will outline the main points of the story and the ending – the rest, well, the characters have to show me whatever else they’re doing, and I have to go with it. Sometimes there are huge arcs I didn’t plan as a main point of the story, but they pop up in the middle of it and they are important – I like leaving that room for impromptu writing/creating. So, find out how it works for you, not how it works for everyone else.

You don’t have to create masterpieces right at the first time you’re writing. Take my King Arthur thing-y for example. I wrote the full story when I was 15. When I was in college, I decided to re-write it. And then, when I was at work, I decided to re-write the re-write. And now, I just took all my files, read them, thought about it all, outlined a whole new story and decided to write anew. Not re-write, but take all that work and write as if I had never written anything before – in the original file, the main characters were 15 years old and in school, now they have their jobs at Universities and work on the secret society that is now a lot more fleshed out and built with loads of new characters around (including a new one I created yesterday after months not thinking about it).

If I hadn’t written the Twilight-sort of embarrassing thing when I was 15, I wouldn’t have this whole universe, characters and story to build upon nowadays. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was a good idea – and I’ll keep working on it until I’m happy with it. It’s been 13 years I’m working on it now, maybe when it reaches its 15th anniversary, I’ll be able to finally let it see the light of day!

Don’t listen to the “NEVER DO THIS!!” advices. Seriously. Writing is a form of art – and, as in all art, there isn’t a right or wrong. By all means, see what people are saying it’s bad and you should never do – I watch and read those advices so I can learn to be better too! – but don’t take it to heart. As Captain Barbossa would say, it’s more of a guideline than rules set in stone. Sometimes, something people say you should NEVER EVER do is something that works perfectly fine for you and your style of writing. Learn to make up your own mind: learn new things, listen to advices, but absorb those that resonate with you and leave those that don’t. That’s how you create your own opinion about things and how you find your writing style!

One fun thing to point out on this as an example: me, my mom, my sister and my dad ADORE reading. My sister loves Jane Austen, my mom is a super fan of Dostoyevsky and Russian literature, while my dad lives for Isaac Asimov and all things sci-fi. I love sci-fi, my mom can’t stand it. I read Dante’s Inferno in a week and my mom couldn’t get past the first verses. My sister can’t read poetry at all and is terribly bored by Lord of the Rings. My dad read my Chronicles of Arthur books and even told me to buy the complete the series. Me and my sister enjoyed Khaled Hosseini’s books a lot, but my mom never felt like reading them.

All of this to say: it’s not a matter of who’s more intellectual than the other, it’s a matter of who likes which kind of literature and writing styles. Some people are more comfortable with one way of writing or a certain kind of literature and can’t stand others – and that’s ok. Writing is pretty much the same. THERE ARE NO FIXED RULES! BE A REBEL!

If it helps you: character sheets. Around 8 years ago – or more – I searched and searched online for the character sheet that could help me the best. I had never done it before and thought it was quite useless, until I downloaded one and started filling the infos on my main characters of my Arthurian sort of story. Lo and behold, they became SO MUCH BETTER and that’s when I started rewriting everything: I understood all characters a LOT better and made better decisions when writing them. It doesn’t work for everyone, though, but it’s a lot of fun for me. Currently, I don’t use it much because I now know what are the main things I need for my characters to seem alive, but it’s always nice to have a reference when you’re writing.

My cyberpunk story, for instance, it has A BUNCH of characters with scars, different hair colours, different eye colours, the way they dress, birthmarks, cyber-implants, cyber-prothesis, dressing styles… And sometimes I get lost in it. So it’s nice keeping a character sheet when I go like “wait, she has burn marks on the left arm or the right arm…?”

And keeping a file on worldbuilding might be helpful as well. I noticed that writing my cyberpunk thing. The first thing I wrote was a huge file explaining the city, the factions, the districts, people’s styles, who are the viruses, the sub-types of viruses, the political parties, the police and secret police, the difference between artificials and organics, how does access to the world works, what is the Ocularis system, the most important corporations, their names, their owners… And all those things will probably never appear on this story.

But I felt a HUGE difference. Instead of info-dumping right at the beginning to make the reader understand how the world is built and how it works, I started it right at an important point in the story. No one knows anything about how things work, but, as the characters speak to each other, they talk about so many things that the reader catches things and pieces together how all things are organized.

Don’t try to explain everything. Tying with I said before, if you have a very good idea of how things work, how the characters relate to each other, how they react and how they think, you won’t need to info-dump. I usually think I’m seeing my characters going about their day and that is ALL I’m describing: what they are saying, feeling, thinking and doing. If I feel something is missing for people to fully understand, then I add something quite minimal to help. But I don’t overexplain: people are intelligent and they can piece things together.

Don’t go full Marvel movies and explain everything as if no one can understand unless you say it. Go Nolan and try to make people understand with images, feelings, glances, metaphors and such. It’s very effective in writing! (Don’t get me wrong, I do like Marvel movies, but they have become those kinds of movies that require little mental effort because literally everything will be explained in a huge monologue or through dialogue. You don’t always need dialogues – and if you say “oh that’s too ambiguous and people won’t be certain about it” that’s the beauty of art: it’s always up to interpretation)

Having someone to read and give you feedback might be very helpful too. I have a few friends every now and then I send some of my stories so they’ll read and give me an honest feedback. I try to listen to their opinions and refine my work – but if I think they critique doesn’t make sense, I thank them anyway and keep on doing my thing. Like I said, know when to take what makes sense and when let go of something that doesn’t. Also: feedback is NOT a personal attack. DON’T TAKE IT TO HEART. See it always as something you may need to improve – and you’ll improve quicker.

At the end of the day, writing is art. And all art is relative.

Your art will be great to some and horrible to others – and that’s ok! Again, learn to NOT make it personal (the critiques, I mean, because art is always personal and that’s wonderful, I think).

And repeat after me: you will not please everyone. The point is to make yourself proud. You’ll find your people along the way.

Do it because you love. Do it because it comes from your heart, from your soul. The world has become so filled with content, mindlessly created by artificial intelligence so we will keep consuming, that things have lost so much of their soul.

To make art, to write, is to have soul. If you have that heart, that passion in your work, it will show – and people will follow. When you sit to write, don’t make it a chore, don’t make it an aesthetic tiktok post, don’t follow the routine of this or that famous artist – do what you have to do and let your heart flow. Do it for you.

I think that’s the main advice I can give. Don’t do content to post on social media and look good, do your art. Push your boundaries, test new things, write in ways you never did before, but do your thing.

When everyone is doing the same thing over and over again, you’ll realize your words will stand out by doing what you want to do.

Again thanks for attending my TED Talk xD

#polaris speaks #writing advice #writing tips #writing #writing help #writing tips and tricks #answered asks #asks #anon ask #there we gooooo second part of super long post xD #do forgive anon #and do forgive taking so long #but I hope these will help somehow #I'm not the best person to give advices #but maybe these things I did for learning and refining my writing will help other people too #and the motivational speak at the end as well xD #we all need some of that

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snowberrydream · 1 year

Text

Käärijä @ Puoli seitsemän - talk show 26.4.2023

Here is an english translation/transcript of Käärijä’s appearance on Finnish talk show Puoli seitsemän for the enjoyment of all the non-finnish Käärijä & Eurovision fans. I have no clue how to screenrecord videos or put subtitles on them, but I can offer you a written translation :D (if someone has access to the video and can do that, feel free to use the translation if you want to, just tag me if you do, please). If there’s anything confusing or weird, comment or message me and I’ll try to clarify it

So here it goes, enjoy!

Käärijä @ Puoli seitsemän - talk show 26.4.2023

(hosts talking about generic beginning-of-the-show-stuff, introducing Käärijä)

host1: Today we are having a party, holding onto pina coladas with both hands (handing out drinks). These are non-alcoholic, I assume it’s fine by you?

Käärijä: Absolutely. It’s probably for the better. This time.

host2: And it’s tasty! You can try both of them.

K: Is this green one also a pina colada? (tastes)

hosts: Ummmm (unsure noises) we are also curious to know (laugh) But hey, glad you could come amidst all the hustle! You’ve been all over like a … a pina colada.

K: (sipping his drinks) (chuckles at the metaphor). Exactly. Happy to be here, thank you for inviting me. And amazing that we have these [pina coladas] here. I actually haven’t really drunk these that much, so thank you for this!

H1: They’ve gotten a lot more popular lately, the sales have gotten up. Have you heard about that?

K: Well yeah, yeah I’ve been told that there has been some empty shelves.

H1: Green yarns sold-out, green fabrics sold-out, (H2: green nailpolish too), pina coladas…

K: It’s indeed quite a circus that I’ve managed to create, but well, (shrugs) why not.

H2: And this is only the beginning, isn’t it?

K: That’s what I’m a bit scared of, really (laughs). That what else will people come up with?

H2: Right now you surely don’t have time for days-off, but when you do get to relax a bit, what do you like to do?

K: I think I’ll just snuggle underneath my Formula1 -sheets, take a little nap and think about absolutely nothing, if one is really able to do that. Or watch some series or listen to some relaxing music. But probably just be in silence.

H1: Yeah, there was a couple moments before the broadcast started, like a half a minute of quiet in the studio. You had like this serene smile on your face.

K: Yeah, I was enjoying that (laughs). I mean I of course like talking with you, too. But, when you are constantly surrounded by thousands of people, at some point it just starts to feel like you need a bit of your own space. As much as we humans are pack animals [=like and need others], too much is too much.

H2: (agreeing hums) Do you know how to take that own space when you need it?

K: Not always. Though I’ve been trying to learn to say no to things. I used to be really bad at doing that, worrying that what if I’ll upset someone etc. But now I’ve been learning, also because of this [Eurovision] that sometimes it’s just …Too bad, I just can’t do that now. That I just need to take that space (moment of realization) …And yet I still don’t have it (laughs). But, on the other hand, some things you just have to get done, and then you’ll take care of those. So… Let’s just hope that everything will go smoothly.

H1: The contest itself is about two and a half weeks away, but there has already been pre-parties all over Europe, getting people into the Eurovision spirit.

H2: Yes, let’s see how it was in London about a week ago. (cue a clip of Käärijä’s performance & fan interactions from London, Cha Cha Cha playing in the background)

(back to studio, hosts and Käärijä jumping and dancing before sitting down again)

hosts: You just can’t stay still while listening to that.

K: Even I joined in too.

H2: So much for resting.

K: Yeah, there it goes again (laughs). When I could’ve just been like (slouches on the sofa) for once.

H1: It happens to everyone! It just pulls you in, it’s such a banger.

K: Yeah, it’s quite enegetic. Though I’ve also tried to not listen to it a little bit, so that it doesn’t become completely (gun to the head -gestures). But I hear it all the time anyway. Everywhere (flailing hands).

H2: So, pre-parties all over Europe. How did you feel about those?

K: Damn good, foremost. It was so amazing to see people singing along to a finnish song. Hadn’t really even imagined that something like that could happen. Met wonderful people there, such amazing personalities, and the mood was great. It really felt like a family, everyone cheering for each other and no like, any disturbances, like what could sometimes happen in an ordinary gig, you know. Really great. I’m glad I went. At first I thought that I wouldn’t go at all (H2: to Eurovision, or…?) – No, no! I meant the pre-parties (H2: Ah, yes) so that I could rest, because they can be quite …demanding. Lots of interviews, travelling, waiting around and so on… And then during Madrid trip I also got sunburnt …roasted my skin a little (laughs) Oh well, I’ll have a bit of a tan now, no burns any longer. But overall it was really good, though also tough.

H1: So you keep a professional attitude about it all? Like, ’this is work, not partying, focus on the job’?

K: Keep focus on the job, yeah. You always aim for a win. Of course you must also remember to enjoy the experience, but the attitude is still like ”See you at the Market Square [= for victory celebrations], all of Finland”. I’d feel so quilty if I’d be just drinking and partying around amid all this, I might never forgive myself.

H2: People have been fitting the victor’s mantle on you [=predicting him to win] already. And on Sweden’s Loreen, whom we saw briefly in the video clip. How do you feel about the pressure of being a fan favorite?

K: I don’t really take pressure about it. In a way. I mean of course I feel like …I have that pressure, but, I haven’t really understood it, It hasn’t quite sunk in yet, because I’m just running from one place to another all the time. I haven’t had time to be stressed about the H-hour, because there is still so much happening before that. I don’t think that quite a panic alarm moment (slamming gesture) will happen before the contest, but some level of nervousness will probably still hit me, as it did in the UMK. But the moment you get on the stage, it’s quite an easy case from there on, in the end.

H1: Right. But hey, here we are, holding on to our drinks with both hands, but you’d actually need a third one, as you have also a cup of tea there in front of you.

K: Yes, and also a cup of water on top of that.

H1: For some voice maintenance, right?

K: Yes, as you can probably hear, my voice has taken some damage [he is sounding a little hoarse occasionally] but let’s hope it’ll get better before the contest. You wouldn’t want to attend with a voice like this.

H1: Yeah, but let’s not be too worried for now, as there is still time left.

K: Luckily there is. And we’ll make some more if we have to.

H2: Right. So, you’ll leave on Sunday?

K: On Sunday, yes. You all will be here celebrating May Day, while I’ll be packing my funnel cakes and mead with me and taking off to Liverpool.

H1: The fan phenomenon has caught everyone by surprise. It’s… I assume it has surprised you, surely it has surprised all of Finland, maybe Europe too. I mean, it’s massive!

K: Right. It’s awesome. It’s kinda funny, all the things this has lead into and like, the kind of people that have sent me messages. Like, world-class artists even from abroad and so on. It’s strange how at some point nothing feels like anything anymore. I mean, when you don’t have time to enjoy it, like getting good news about one thing, because another thing is already happening right after. And then comes another thing, and another and another and another. Because every day there is something new, cool and fun happening to me at the moment. I haven’t had time… - I’ve really had no time to properly process any of what I’ve been given. I’ve just, gone somewhere to do stuff and then been off to the next place already and been like ’ok you do that I do this’ (delegating gestures) and so on. I hope that at some point I’ll get some time to think about all that has happened. Of course I’ve enjoyed this, but…maybe not in a way that people might assume? It hasn’t been just living on cloud nine all the time, for real. Even though this is what I’ve wanted, and wanted to get my music out there here in Finland, and, now it seems to be happening in Europe and elsewhere too, so yeah…

H2: Fans have been running after you and so on… Apparently there has been some extreme reactions even? Someone had…?

K: Yeah, one person fainted.

H1: Where did this happen?

K: In Madrid (H2: so they saw you?). Yes. And… They all behaved really well, like, in Finland people just take pics and whisper to each other, but there – they’ll run after you. It’s really a shocking feeling when you step out the door and everyone starts screaming and (running gesture) they are running and then we are running (laughs). But, it’s not like …If you said no to something that they asked for, they were really respectful and nice about it [despite the enthusiasm].

H2: So, someone just saw you and just, simply couldn’t handle the shock?

K: Yeeahh. Though, sometimes I can barely handle it either, when I see myself in the mirror (laughs) (hosts laughing).

H1: The Käärijä hype is intensifying indeed. But, let’s add to that a bit more with the following clip.

(Videoclip about a family of real Käärijä superfans, where the mom had made Käärijä’s Cha Cha Cha costumes for her three sons and even the family dogs. the boys are dancing and talking about how much they like Käärijä)

H1: They are really rooting for you.

H2: Aww, such sweet boys.

K: So cool.

H2: They really got it down, dance moves and all.

K: Yeah, I’m speechless, honestly. Like, amidst all this there’s little time to pay attention to what is happening around you in the world. And then there’s kids like that… It’s truly amazing thing, thank you to them, really. All the best to them. And the parents too, truly tipping my hat to them for like, for doing all that for the kids. I remember back when I played ice hockey, it was my parents made it happen for me too, taking care of things so that I got to play. And now those boys want to be Käärijäs. Just, lots of love to the whole family. [He seemed to be quite touched about this clip. Either that or he just happens to struggle with his voice a bit right then, sounding a little quivering for a sec]

H1: Exactly. So. Käärijä is Jere and Jere is Käärijä, is that the way it goes? Are you still just Jere for those closest to you, or is everyone calling you Käärijä by now?

K: Ahhh, well, mom is calling me Käärijä now (H2: okay). I’ve had to sometimes tell her to stop it already, or that else I’ll adopt myself into a new family to have someone who calls me Jere (laughs). Just kidding, really, she’s just proud and excited about all this. But I hear it a lot, this Käärijä stuff. It can get a little dull, because sometimes you’d just like to forget this work stuff, when you are at home etc. and talk about other things than Käärijä and Cha Cha Cha and music. Sometimes it makes me wonder like, …what have I gotten myself into?

H2: A phenomenon has been born, indeed. Well, we asked for you to bring some pics from your home album, and you brought these two (pics of him as a kid behind a drum kit and him in his late teens wearing hospital pj’s appear on the screen). There they are… You could tell us a little about them yourself. (H1: a little drummer boy). A little rookie instrumentalist there. A little drummer boy, yes.

K: (looking at the pic) Yeah, I’ve enjoyed banging drums since I was little. My brother played guitar and we watched some Fröbelin Palikat [a finnish kid’s music band], used kettles as drums and and, brother had this weird thingy as a guitar. Then at some point I got my own drums, started drum lessons and eventually even taught my classmates at school how to play. My teacher assigned that task for me. But that career didn’t last, in the end. Wasn’t quite that interested in drums after all, I guess. But that’s where my sense of rhythm and all comes, surely. And anyway, where would you put those things in a small flat? Banging them in some apartment building, you’ll get evicted in a second. But, drums are still close to my heart and whenever I get the chance I do grab the sticks and see if I’m still any good at playing them.

H1: And then, how about the second pic (of him in a hospital cafeteria or some common area, sitting by a table filling lottery coupons)

K: Right, that’s an interesting one. I got sick with Colitis ulcerosa, I think that was the latin name for it. And well, I think that was taken around the time it was at it’s worst.

H2: So it’s a bowel disease?

K: Yes, my entire colon got inflamed eventually and I ended up needing an emergency operation to remove it quickly, to prevent the inflammation from spreading to other parts of the body. I was hanging by a thread, honestly. I wasn’t even going to go [to the hospital] at first, but dad forced me and dragged me in there. Packed up some The Simpsons movies and my pillow and was like ’we are going now, son’ and… yeah. Honestly the shittiest time of my life, not wishing that for anyone. But it did also make me grow a lot as a person, and I wouldn’t change anything for myself, I’m totally okay with this. I’m alive, in the situation that I’m in now, and it changed who I am. Of course I have things where to improve even now, but it took me forward at the time, regarding my values and such, I think I’m in quite a good place now. (back to describing the pic) I went to place some bets [the lottery coupons] to pass time, there wasn’t anything else to do. Friends or my brother sometimes came to watch ice hockey from TV with me while I was laying in the hospital.

H2: You are wearing hospital clothes in the pic. Did you spend long periods of time in there?

K: I was there for like two weeks at a time. Went there every now and then, had an IV drip and laid there, had some medication and such. But in the end the treatments didn’t work and had to have the surgery, remove the colon completely. So, yeah. But, it’s a thing that happened to me and one just has to learn – and I have learned – to live with it. It won’t destroy your world if a thing like that does happen, on the contrary, it can open some new doors, that’s how I try to view it. But again, wouldn’t wish that for anyone, or anything like it. Yeah. That was a tough time. Made a young guy think about stuff, how others are out there partying, going to festivals and all that, and I didn’t get to have that. It went on for about a year, and towards the end I just laid in bed. I couldn’t go anywhere because I’d be just shitting blood in my pants right away etc. I was just, bumping into doors, barely able to stay on my feet, so…

H2: And a year is a long time in a young person’s life.

K: It was, yes. I had to drop everything. All the sports I did back then. I was really into going to the gym at the time, had certain goals I wanted to achieve and was working towards them. They aren’t important any longer, guess they weren’t even back then, really, but it did hit me hard at the time, when I lost 10 kg, from that kind of body (H2: woah). I weighed 49 kg at the worst point, hemoglobin about 54, or 56.

H2: Rough numbers, truly.

K: Yeah, it wasn’t healthy at all, I was pale as a sheet. In that pic I’m actually still looking surprisingly fresh. Yeah, I was just skin and bones.

H1: And does the disease still affect your life today?

K: Well, of course in the way that I have to go to the bathroom more often, 7 or 8 times a day on average. But I’m used to it, it’s not an issue for me. I can hold it in – so, rest easy there on the other side of the camera, no need to worry that something might happen mid-performance …Well let’s knock on wood just in case – But otherwise, not really… well, I can’t eat spicy food anymore. That will surely destroy my mood and the pipes, so to speak. So there are some things, but I’ve lived with this for so long already that it’s just normal for me.

H2: Surely. Bit of a balancing act.

H1: Hey, you spoke earlier about how people want to talk a lot [about you], and we want to talk and everyone wants to talk about Eurovision, and how it would be great to speak about anything else, even about the weather. But now! Now we’ll talk about it!

H2: Yes, let’s watch the clip first, about a very fundamental question.

(a videoclip of interviewing people abouth whether winters used to be better in your childhood than they are nowadays :D Conclusion: it’s more a matter of childhood nostalgia and personal memories than anything else)

H1: Soo, Jere. Were the winters better back when you were a kid?

K: Well, yeah. Especially now that I’m thinking about all the memories connected to them. I liked snowboarding/downhill skiing [unclear which one he means] a lot back then, and i do feel that there was more snow and it came earlier, but of course my memories might be faulty and in reality we were just skidding on bare ground. But yeah, I have a feeling there used to be more snow and outdoor ice rinks and chances to build snow castles and things like that.

H2: Yeah, you must’ve been familiar with the ice rinks, since you played ice hockey for many years, right?

K: Yes, though with little success. But yeah, I did go swat the puck for a time.

H2: That looks quite proper to me (looking at pics of him in a hockey match).

K: Well, I’ve got the gear on and the puck in my control, so that helps (laughs).

H1: I gathered that you played quite many positions?

K: Yeah, I did go through them all, but none of them was my thing, in the end. But I have very fond memories from my hockey days, too. Though it was also like banging your head to a wall sometimes, too. That either wasn’t just sunshine and rainbows all the time. Very hard training at one point, and from there it swung to the other end when I was mainly just fiddling around. Like, training once a week and then playing a match. But yeah, spent a lot of time at ice halls.

H2. Yes, and speaking of halls. It was on the news today that your iconic green bolero has now been frozen and hoisted up to the ceiling of Helsinki Ice hall rink.

K: Yes, there it hangs now. Up there it went.

H2: An honorary gesture for the shirtless rager. To cheer you on.

K: Yes, my thanks for them all, too. And we’ll have a gig there at the hall in May also, so it was really cool of them to come up with such event. I guess they wanted to wish me luck and bring some joy to the people with a silly happening like that.

H1: And there’s also the positive side to it that it wont get lost from up there (chuckles).

K: Yes, it sure won’t. Unless someone finds a crane or something to get it. So I’m sure it’ll be waiting for me there.

H2: Your live performances are quite demanding physically. Do you think this (points at the hockey pic) laid the groundwork for that?

K: Yes, I’m sure of it. Like, thinking back to the time I was in hospital, I bounced back really fast and got back in good shape even though I was a total wreck after that one year. But when I got back to the gym and jogging trails I started putting weight and muscle back on quite soon. There is some, like, muscle memory to it. I can tell my sports background has it’s effect. That’s why I wish that also the youth of today would all have the chance to have hobbies. It’s not possible for everyone, but I wish it was, because it brings a lot of good, improves your health and brings new friends and so on.

H1: So then, like, most of us have only seen Cha Cha Cha from you at this point, but how are your usual gigs? How long and how physical are they typically?

K: About 45 min to an hour, around 12 or 13 songs a gig. And… yeah, they are quite a mayhem, even more than Cha Cha Cha is, some pretty fast-paced songs in there. You get to shriek and rage and run and hype the audience to your heart’s content.

H2: No wonder that your voice is a bit down, then. You aren’t holding anything back while on stage?

K: No, I think that if somebody has paid, whether it’s 5 euros or 50 euros for the ticket, I’ll give it my all every time. I don’t want the people to feel like I’m slacking off , came there to just collect some easy money, or that I’m not interested in being there. Because it is our shared experience, when the audience is there. I am not alone in there, but together with everyone, and it should be a party for all of us then.

H1: Of course. So, on Sunday you’ll be on the move, but before that a little time to rest, to spare yourself. You won’t be doing any gigs before the ESC anymore, right?

K: I won’t, no.

H1: Great. You’ll get your voice in top condition, yes?

K: Yes.

Hosts: (starting to wrap up the interview] But! BUT! Now, let’s put on some music, shall we? Just a couple little dance moves, pleeease. We can’t end this without a little Cha Cha Cha! So, good luck to you in Liverpool (K: thank you], but now, let’s head onto the dance floor (everyone running away from the sofas). Teach us some moves that everyone should know!

(chaotic Cha Cha Cha-ing ensues, until the hosts form a mini-piggytrain and Käärijä rides away from the camera view. The End.)

#käärijä #eurovision #esc 2023 #translation #puoli7 #euroviisut

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huggybug · 2 years

Note

Lake day

can you do one when poppy was first born and going to the lake

this is so messy and all over the place omfg but also so am i😁 basically just little scenes from poppy’s first summer (she’s around 9 months!)

Poppy wasn’t even a year old when she went to the lake house for the first time. Trevor was staying for a full week while you came with Poppy for a couple days, just because you didn’t want your crying baby to ruin the group’s time there.

“We really don’t mind, you should stay” Jack has been trying to talk you into a longer stay for a while but you shook your head.

“Quinn’s friends are here and I’d just feel bad” Quinn brought a few of his friends back from school with him and as nice as they were, you knew they didn’t want a little baby hanging around all week. “And I want you guys to have a good time too, you’re all going your separate ways after this and it’s just…”

“Nope, none of that this summer” Trevor shook his head as he walked up with Poppy in his arms, “We’re not thinking about that”

A lot of things were changing this summer. The draft was next month and when the season started up again, the boys would be moving to play with their new teams, something that they all hated to think about.

“We’re having a good time this summer!” Alex smiled, “Right Pops?” He poked your daughter’s little belly which made her giggle.

“Right now let’s go or else Quinn’s gonna leave us here” Jack grabbed Poppy’s bag on his way out to the boat where the rest of the boys were waiting while you and Trevor made sure to get Poppy’s life jacket on securely before following him out.

…

“Can Poppy swim?” Jack asked.

“She’s like not even a year old” Cole answered, shaking his head a little, “She can’t even walk properly yet”

“Yeah but like… isn’t swimming easier?” Everyone laughed while Jack looked around in confusion.

“She’s living her best life” Quinn laughed, watching Poppy as she sat on Alex’s lap and watched Trevor try to surf.

“Oh yeah, she loves it too” You smiled. Despite Poppy still being so young, the boys had been helping out to make sure she was always happy and from the lack of total meltdowns, you could tell it was working.

“You know… when I heard you were pregnant, I was kinda scared for you. I know I don’t really have a place to say anything but I was in college and there was no way I could’ve done it…” Quinn trailed off, “But you guys are really good parents”

You smiled, it meant more to you than he probably thought, after knowing Jack for a few years and being around his brothers quite a bit, you understood why everyone looked up to Quinn.

“Thanks, it wasn’t something I was planning but I’m so happy with where we are” Quinn smiled and gave you a one armed hug.

“Don’t worry kid, you guys are already killing it”

…

“Hey, where’s Poppy?” You came downstairs to find Trevor, who was supposed to be watching your daughter, scrolling on his phone and Poppy was nowhere to be seen.

“Alex took her out, maybe in the back?” You were a little alarmed that Trevor didn’t know exactly where she was but you tried to talk yourself down as you made your way to the patio.

Looking outside, you found Alex, Cole, Matt, and Jack all crowded around the fire with Poppy in front of them. You slipped out of the house, trying to be quiet but your cover was blown when Poppy spotted you. She wiggled out of Cole’s hold and ran over to you, a mess of chocolate spread all over her face.

“Did you guys give her a s’more?” You ask with a sigh as you pick her up, trying to dodge her face as she squirmed in your arms.

“Maybe…” You shook your head. She was eating some solid foods now but you didn’t think s’mores were allowed… you weren’t even sure if that was included in baby books.

“I only gave her the marshmallow and chocolate if that makes it better..?” Jack asked and you thought about it, at least it was soft? This is probably why teenagers shouldn’t have babies.

“I guess but no more sweets for her” You grabbed a napkin that Matt held out for you and wiped her face off as best you could.

#lake house day!#poppy zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras blurb #dad au #anaheim ducks #hockey writing #hockey fic #nhl players #nhl fanfiction

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overdevelopedglasses · 7 months

Text

Tojoctober Day 25 - Father

(I’ll make the world safe and sound for you)

Alt title is from “Dear Theodosia” which is from Hamilton

Haruka inquires about Kazama. Kiryu surprisingly answers.

(Kiwami spoilers)

—----------------------------------

It’s a late night for Kiryu, as he was kept awake by maintenance around the orphanage, the things that he didn’t want the kids to help with. He’s sitting on his futon, about to light a cigarette, when he hears his door creak open. He turns around, expecting to see one of the younger kids, and prepares to comfort another nightmare.

What he sees instead is Haruka, who is peering into the room.

“Uncle Kaz?” she whispers.

“I’m awake, Haruka. Come in.” He beckons her into the room, and she closes the door behind her.

“Is everything ok?” he asks. It’s the first time she’s come into his room since they’ve moved here.

“I can’t get to sleep.” Haruka says, crawling over the futon to get to where Kiryu sits.

“I understand.” Kiryu wraps an arm around Haruka’s shoulders. He’s still a bit in awe with how much she’s grown in the past couple of years. The little girl who went through so much is almost shoulder-to-shoulder with him when they’re sitting.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a little bit before Haruka speaks up.

“Did you like your father, Uncle Kaz?”

Kiryu feels his heart drop.

“My… do you mean Kazama-san?”

“I don’t remember much about him… but we talked to him for a little bit, right?”

“Yeah, we did.” Kiryu shut his eyes, thinking about his adoptive father. “Despite his reputation, he was a merciful man. He taught Nishiki and I a lot about his world. He was a beacon of light that we all looked to and admired. He wasn’t perfect, but he cared for us, and as orphans that’s all we could ask for.”

“Do you think he was a good father?” Haruka asks. Kiryu opens his eyes again, and looks at the young girl.

“He probably could’ve done better,” Kiryu admitted, “but he did what he could. He didn’t have to create Sunflower, yet he did. He didn’t have to let Nishiki and I swear up, but he did. I’ll forever be grateful to him.”

“I wonder if… Jingu ever loved me.” Haruka looks at her lap, unable to meet his eyes any longer. Kiryu's heart sinks even further.

“I’m not too sure about that. However, I know that your mother loved you very much.”

“How did you know, Uncle Kaz?” she looks back into Kiryu’s eyes.

“Well…” Kiryu reflected on Yumi for a brief moment, but seemed to know the answer all along. “She looked at you like you were her entire world. Even in her last moments, she was concerned about you and your well being. I may doubt her choice in me sometimes, but I cannot deny her love for you.” he finishes, giving her a small smile.

Haruka’s eyes widen, and she looks back down at her lap. It’s only a few seconds before Kiryu sees a tear fall from her face.

“Uncle Kaz… I miss my mom.” Haruka chokes out, throwing her arms around his neck, and beginning to sob into his shoulder. They sit like this for a second until Kiryu speaks his mind.

“Haruka… I will never replace your mother. But, I promise I will do the best I can. Ok?” “You… don’t need to worry about that,” Haruka sits up, still keeping her arms around Kiryu’s neck. “You may think of yourself as Uncle Kaz, but you’ve always been my father.”

This time, Kiryu is the one who starts to cry.

#tojoctober #yakuza #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #kiryu kazuma #haruka sawamura #they really should talk about their shared experiences more #just let them be a family #let haruka come visit the new island paradise with Yuta and Haruto

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lilacveiledsea · 2 years

Text

Show Stopper

Rekindled love ft. Suna x fem!reader, slight Atsumu x fem!reader

A/n: Part of @hishalo s “it’s always been you”collab

Word count-4K

Warnings- swearing, alcohol

Love is a strange thing, it’s not always for everyone. You think you meet “the one” at a young age, and things don’t go the way you both thought they would. It was sad really, everyone back then saw how much he loved you, now you sit and wonder what you could’ve done better, what could’ve been. Sighing, you placed the old framed photo of you and your high school boyfriend Suna Rintaro back down into the box. You thought you had gotten rid of them all, but one ended up staying behind. Never did you think your parents would send it with the rest of your stuff from your childhood bedroom when you got your own place. You would think that 3 years would be long enough for you to get over him, but the thing is, you really loved —scratch that— love him. No one treated you the way he did, nobody loved or cared about you the way Suna had… Shaking your head to clear your daze, you finished unpacking the box, putting the picture into one of your desk drawers for later. “I wonder what he and Kita are up to nowadays” you asked out loud.

After high school you lost touch with the former captain and middle blocker, but kept in touch with the Miya twins. As if sensing your curiosity, your ringtone started to blare from your speakers as you got a call, from none other than the Atsumu Miya. “Jesus Christ!” Standing up, you answered the call. “Yes ‘Tsumu? Can I help you? It’s almost midnight.” “Y/N! So glad you’re still awake! I need a favor please…. Hehe, it’s funny actually.. Umm I kinda need you to be my date to an event that MSBY is having me go to, there’s going to be a lot of other teams there as well and I don’t want to go alone.” Atsumu insisted. “Why me? You have a lot of fangirls that I’m sure would love to go—.” Before you could finish your statement Atsumu interjected, “No. Only you, and that’s final. Please! Help your bestie out here!” he whined into the receiver. Sighing as you made your way to the living room couch, you reluctantly agreed. “Who’s going to be there and what do I need to wear? I haven’t unpacked my closet fully yet…” “Don’t worry about dress code, I’ll handle that. And the attendees will be a lot of people, obviously MSBY, I think the Sendai Frogs will be there, so will the Alders and maybe EJP. The event is tomorrow night… I know it’s short notice, but I forgot about it until Omi was talking about it in the locker room after practice today.” Knowing the faux blonde, he was probably rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke that sentence. “Ok ‘Tsumu, I’ll go with you.” Just before he could say anything else, you added, “BUT! But, you need to come over and help me finish unpacking this weekend, deal?” He hummed in response. “Ok I’ll see you tomorrow Y/n, I’ll bring you your dress around 6 ok? Bye!” After saying goodbye you went to get ready for bed.

Just like he said, Atsumu showed up at your apartment at 6, with two garment bags in tow. “The event starts at 7:30, I’m gonna get ready here as well.” he said as he toed off his shoes at the entrance. As the both of you got ready you couldn’t help but stare at the stunning dress Atsumu had brought you. It matched his suit perfectly, a deep burgundy red, floor length gown, with gold accent threads throughout, cutouts on the sides of your waist, and a knee high slit going up your left leg, he even got you matching shoes. Walking out of your bathroom, Atsumu looked you up and down, “Damn! I was right to trust my managers with picking out your look, you look amazing y/n!” he said as he buttoned his jacket. The two of you took a couple of pictures in your mirror, his arm around you, pulling you close by your waist (mostly to deter the fan girls). After posting a couple of your favorites to his socials, you headed to the hall where the event was being held.

The hall was packed, from players, to coaches, to even the owners of the teams. The main floor was brightly lit, while the tables all had a soft glow to them which made it almost romantic like. this was way out of your comfort zone so you held onto Atsumu’s arm as he walked in. Once fully in the crowd, Atsumu removed your hand from his arm and pulled you to a wall away from most people. “Stay here, I’ll be right back, I promise! I’m going to go find the rest of MSBY and I’ll come get you after ok? It shouldn’t be too long and if anyone finds you first, call me. I have my phone.” He said as he pulled you closer to his side. Leaning down he whispered, “I love you, I’ll only be gone for a few minutes, ok?” Before you could respond to him he left. The shock was evident on your face, why would he say that? Does he like you more than best friends or is that an “I love you” in a friend way? Either way, you didn’t know what to think, you’ll just ask him about it later. Shaking off the initial shock, you started looking around at the people around you, there were a few that you recognized, the guys from the Alders, some from Sendai, and two you couldn’t place into a team. “This is way too much, I either need Atsumu to come back or a drink, maybe both..” you muttered to yourself and you pulled your phone out from your clutch purse. Just as you were going to start scrolling through your socials, you felt a tap on your shoulder. “Excuse me?” the person asked to get your attention. Looking up you saw none other than Kiyoomi Sakusa. “OH! Omi! Hi, did ‘Tsumu send you over?” you questioned. Shaking his head no, he started to look around, “I thought he was with you, did he really leave his date behind to find the team?” he asked in exasperation. As you were going to respond, a strong arm pulled you close, at first you were panicked, but then a familiar smell took over your senses. “Sorry n/n. That took longer than I thought!” Spinning you around to face him, he handed you a drink. “Here ya go! Thought you could use it.” he said, laughing. Smiling at him over the glass, you whispered a small thank you. “Atsumu! You asshole! You just left y/n alone?? In a place where she only knows a few people??” Sakusa argued. Looking over to his fellow teammate, the setter just rolled his hazel eyes. “OH shut the hell up Omi, it wasn’t for that long, she’s fine.” he retorted, while undoing the button on his jacket. The two teammates just gave each other stern looks before the setter pulled you guys to the table with the rest of the MSBY team.

It had been about 45 minutes since your best friend had brought you to the table with the rest of the team and he was nowhere to be found again… He had left 15ish minutes after making sure you were situated and comfortable with the rest of the team. “HEY! HEY! HEY! Y/n! Where did ‘Tsumu go?? I thought he was your date for tonight?” Bokuto shouted as he made his way back to the table with Kuroo in tow. Shrugging your shoulders in response, the owl-like male sat down next to you. “Hey, where’s the bathroom?” you asked the table. They pointed you in the direction, but what you weren’t expecting to find was your date pushing another woman up against the wall in the dimly lit back corner by the bathrooms. Letting out a gasp, you stumbled back a little bit, into a person nonetheless.. You don’t know why you were shocked.. It’s not like you and Atsumu were dating, but a small part of you thought that with him saying “I love you” your relationship may have been able to go to the next stage and you’d finally be able to get over Suna.. This shock felt more like a betrayal than anything else… Why bring you as his date if he was going to just hook up with random women throughout the night. Warm hands on the slightly exposed skin of your waist are what brought you back down to earth. It’s then you remembered you stumbled back into a person due to your shock. “Whoa, are you alright? You almost took a fall there.” That voice! Your eyes widened in recognition, your savior sounded just like your first love… Though you haven’t heard that voice in years. Slowly turning around in the strangers grasp, you came face to face with exactly who you thought. “Suna…” you breathed out. The man gave you a look of confusion. “Yes? Do I know you?” he questioned as he looked you over. He needed to do a double take, you saw his eyes grow as he slowly started to remember you. “Y/n….hi.” he stammered out. His face and yours started to grow warm at the realization that he still had his hands on your waist. He removed his hands hastily and rubbed his neck nervously. “Hi Rintaro. How have you been?” The situation you just witnessed starting to fade from your mind.. Or so you hoped. Your voice along with Suna’s caught Atsumu’s attention. Seems like he was finished with the women he was with. “YO! What the fuck do you think you’re doing talking to her?!? You shouldn’t be near y/n!” Atsumu snarled as he approached you both. He immediately stood in between you with a protective arm outstretched in front of you. “Hello to you as well Miya…” Suna said unenthusiastically while rolling his green fox-like eyes.

Atsumu has always been protective of you when it came to Suna after you both broke up in third year. “That is enough!” you exclaimed as you made your way to Suna’s side to look at Atsumu. “Babe, no. He shouldn’t be talking to you! He broke your heart, he forfeited all his right to you when he left you.” the blonde male mentioned as he tried to get you back behind him. “Babe?” Suna whispered to himself as he looked between the two of you. Atsumu calling you babe really messed with your head even further than the “I love you” comment did. Shoving your best friend further away from your ex, you pulled him down to your level. “Let’s get something straight here Miya Atsumu.” you said sternly before continuing, “1. You don’t get to call me “babe” after what I just caught you doing! 2. I can protect myself! It’s Suna. He won’t hurt me. So shut up about it. 3. We’ll discuss what happened earlier and right now later. Because you have fucked with my head way too much tonight. Now get back to the table with the rest of the team, I’ll be there soon,” with that you pushed him away from you slightly. The smile you gave him was something he wasn’t used to; instead of warmth and love radiating from it, it was now cold and almost emotionless. The tall male had a dejected look on his face as he turned around to face you one more time before walking away.

Turning to face Suna, you smiled. “I'm so sorry about him… he’s been very protective of me ever since we broke up.” He understood, he would do the same if he had been in Atsumu’s place. “Don’t worry about him, it’s understandable” he waved off your concerns. “I just want to say, you look beautiful tonight, even if he doesn’t want to stay by your side. Which by the way is stupid, who wouldn’t want to be seen with you on their arm?” Rin said as he led you away from the corner you were both in. Laughing at his remark you placed your hand on his arm, “Thank you, that's very kind, but Atsumu doesn’t need me on his arm. Yes I may have come with him, but with what I witnessed before literally bumping into you, I don't know what to think anymore.. But enough about that!! How have you been? What are you doing now?” you asked, with a sudden change in emotion. Suna went on to explain his life during the past three years, going pro with volleyball, the hardships that came with it, how his family was doing, but there was one topic he avoided and that was relationships. That made you curious, how did a pro athlete not have a girlfriend? With all the fangirls around you’d think he’d fall for one. It’s the same thing with you though, avoiding talking about relationships as long as you could. Talking about life without one another made you sad, this used to be the person you would go to for everything, yes you had the twins and Kita but Suna was the one who understood you the most. Sure you have Atsumu now but you’ll always have a special connection with Suna. The fox-eyed male had taken you to an empty table further into the venue. Pulling out your chair, he bowed a little bit as you sat down. Laughing, you smiled at him as he sat next to you. “Stop me if this is out of line,” Rintaro started, “but despite what has happened in the past, I could be a better boyfriend than him, I’d never leave you alone, glued to your phone, especially in a room full of professional athletes who could take you home.” with the way your brows furrowed, he assumed it was due to confusion so he continued “I saw him come in with you, leave then come back a few minutes later with a drink. I promise I'd be able to do the shit that he could never do. I saw him with multiple girls tonight that weren’t you.” Sighing he reached over to hold your hand, “Y/n, what are you doing with someone like that? He doesn’t deserve you…” Lifting his head, he met your eyes. You couldn’t help but notice how mesmerizing the man in front of you looked in the soft candle light emitting from the few candles at your table, “Suna what do you mean? I'm not dating Atsumu. Actually, scratch that, I have no idea what he and I are at the moment..” sighing you tighten your grip on his hand. He took this as an opportunity to reach over with his other arm and pull your chair closer to him, he could sense the uneasy, sadness radiating off of you. Removing his hand from your grasp, he wrapped his arms around you in a comforting hug. “What do you mean by that exactly?” he whispered as he slowly started to pull away from the embrace. The soft breath on the shell of your ear made you shiver. You really didn’t want this hug to end so in an effort to keep his arms around you, you pulled slightly on his white suit jacket. His stance faltered slightly as he regained his balance so as to not fall on top of you. “What I mean is that he said he loved me and then called me babe after I caught him with the other woman.” Was it smart to confine in Suna after not speaking for 3 years? Maybe not, but he was slowly rebuilding your trust in him so you could only hope this wouldn’t come back and bite you in the ass.

After telling him everything that had happened with Atsumu, you also mentioned that you hadn’t dated anyone since your break up because nobody felt right, they didn’t treat you the way he had. His eyes screwed shut as he raised his head heavenward. Chucking slightly his checks started to dust themselves crimson. “I haven’t been with anyone else either, girls always try to get with me, especially after taking off due to EJP. The amount of love proclamations I get on a daily basis is insane. Whether it be in person during meet and greets, at games, or through my dms, none of them are real in my eyes.” he revealed as he took a sip of the maple liquid in his cup. He had brought you both drinks after your revelation. Swirling your own glass you looked around yourself. The party had started to get loud, it seemed everyone had a couple of glasses of liquid courage and started to let loose. Even Sakusa was up and on the floor with the rest of MSBY. Suna had noticed your smile fade just as quick as it came when you looked around, following your gaze he found Atsumu with yet another woman. Pulling your attention away by placing his hands on your face, he smirked as he felt your cheeks heat up at the sudden close contact. “Look at me, don't look at him, he’s not worth it.” Suna insisted. Looking up at him with glazed over eyes, you gave him a tight lipped smile. ‘You wouldn’t be like this had it not been for the asshole you called your best friend.’ Suna thought.

Just then he got an idea, whether it was the liquor in his system or just the pettiness in his system, he was going to go with it. “Hey, baby. Let’s go dance, yeah?” he suggested with a mischievous grin on his face. Offering his hand to you as he stood up from his chair, he saw the happiness spread throughout your features. “Baby, huh? Haven’t heard that in a while.” Taking his hand he pulled you up and guided you through the throng of people to get closer to MSBY, not that you were paying attention to that. All you could think was ‘man… this is what I’ve been wanting all along.’ Placing his hands on the exposed skin of your waist, you wrapped yours around the back of his neck. He took this opportunity to pull you as close as physically possible. You two were so close you could feel his heartbeat against your chest. The two of you swayed to the beat of the music, lost in each other’s eyes, not paying attention to anything or anyone around you.

From across the room a certain Miya was watching this with jealousy and anger burning in his eyes. The way your burgundy dress was cascading down your body, the way your hair was basically glowing under the lights, it was ethereal. Anyone could see it, you were a show stopper, but it should’ve been with him in his matching suit, not with Suna in his white one. The woman he was with was completely out of mind as he couldn’t help but stare at you.

Suna caught Atsumu’s eye as he spun you. He smirked. “Hey, n/n? I’m sorry about what’s happened in the past, I’m sorry that I was stupid enough to leave you in high school. Can I have a second chance? Can we start over?” he whispered as he brought his face towards yours. You were so close you could feel his breath on your lips as he spoke, his confession had you shocked. “Yes” was all you were able to mutter out in response. Smiling, he spun you again, once you were in front of him again, he asked, “Can I kiss you?” Awaiting your response he once again looked around to catch Atsumu staring. You nodded your head in agreement just as he pulled you towards him by the back of your head. The kiss was filled with a fiery passion, one that was years in the waiting, it felt like you were in a movie, with the way the rest of the event faded into nothingness as you lost yourself in the lips of the one person you’ve always loved. Once you pulled away, you leaned your forehead against his in an attempt to calm down. “I love you Rin. I always have… I’ve missed you so much.” you mumbled. “I love you too Y/n.” he whispered as he went in for a second kiss.

He motioned with his head back to the table. As you went to sit down, a familiar voice called out your name. “Y/N!!” Looking around as Suna placed his jacket around your shoulders, you saw an upset Atsumu making his way towards you. Suna stayed standing in a protective manner, waiting to see what was going to happen. Once the blonde had reached your table he calmed down a little bit. “What was that!” he growled. “What was what?” you innocently asked. Throwing his arm out to point to the dance floor, “That! The dance, and kiss with your ex boyfriend” he put emphasis on the “ex” . “He’s no longer my ex ‘Tsumu..” you began as you pulled the jacket closer to your body, “...we’re back together. It’s what I’ve always wanted and you know that.” Placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, Suna looked over to his former teammate, “Why do you even care Atsumu? You’ve left her alone all night in favor of other women, so?” your boyfriend argued. “Because she’s my best friend Suna! That’s why! You left her, why do YOU suddenly care so much huh?!?” he replied with a glare. “I don’t have to answer that. If you can’t be happy for her, then don't say anything.” You saw the way he faltered at the words, he kept opening and closing his mouth trying to find a way to respond to the remark. Reaching out, you grabbed his arm, “ ‘Tsumu, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you rendered speechless. But Suna is right. Please. Just let it go. We will talk about tonight later this week ok? I'm tired and I would really just like to go home… so decide amongst yourselves as to who will be taking me. I don’t want to get in between this.” The two men then looked at each other and had a silent conversation. “I’ll take you home y/n, it’ll give us a chance to talk some more.” Suna finally answered. Smiling at the two men in front of you, you stood up to get ready to leave. “Ok. ‘Tsumu I’ll see you tomorrow when you come to get your things ok? Have fun with the rest of the night and we can discuss everything over lunch yeah?” The setter agreed as he hugged you goodbye. “Come on, let’s go.” Rintaro guided you with a gentle hand on your back.

The drive back to your apartment was peaceful and felt familiar, the domestic feeling of it all was lovely. Opening your door for you, he helped you out of his planter seat. “Thank you for bringing me back home Rin. I appreciate it.” As the two of you approached your front door he stopped you from going in, “Of course, it's the least I can do. Y/n? Thank you for taking me back.. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make you happy and to make sure our relationship goes smoothly. I love you. Good night baby.” he gushed as he placed a sweet kiss on your cheek. “Good night.” You smiled as you slowly closed the door as he walked away.

Love is an interesting thing, it will always find its way to you, whether as something new, or something that has found its way back to you. Hopefully this time around with Suna, will be your forever.

Comments, reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

#— it’s always been you collab #written by mars #suna rintaro fluff #suna rintaro x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #suna fic #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader

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scaryscarecrows · 1 year

Text

“You’re damn lucky that ended as well as it did,” Jones is seething. “We’re not doing something like this again, you got that? Piss-poor plan.”

“I lived,” Jason protests, curling into the hoodie somebody brought for him. Jones scoffs.

“The bar for that is low.”

“It really is,” Drouot chimes in. Traitor. “Sorry.”

Apology not accepted.

“Nothing’s broken.”

“I suggest shutting up,” Jones warns from behind him. When no one comes riding to his aid, he figures that’s probably best. He’s proven correct when Clyde does that hum that means he’s deeply disappointed in somebody’s life choices.

“That was a little close,” he says mildly. “Could’ve gotten nasty.”

“It didn’t.”

“What do you call the cattle prod, then?” Jones cuts in. Ah. That. That was bad, that was admittedly bad. “Never mind–let me look at it in better lighting before you shower off.”

Ugh. Jason is really looking forward to the shower. He feels grimy and miserable already, and it didn’t…

Nothing happened. But strangers’ hands on his skin always puts him in a bad way and he wants to wash the memories of groping palms off.

“Fine,” he says shortly. “Let’s just get this over with.”

He gets to keep his sweatpants, at least, but he has to part with the hoodie. Getting it off is difficult–that prod upset the preexisting injury more than he thought–and Jones finally helps him yank it over his head.

“All right,” he says. “Lie back, be still.”

It’s not his fault. It’s not. But Jason’s heard that before in another context and he’s spent the last few days sans clothing, with people jeering at him and dragging him around, and…

And so sue him, he needs a goddamn minute.

“Please,” he blurts out, skin crawling from the dirt and the cold air. “Please don’t touch me. Just. Just give me a minute.”

Jones just shrugs.

“I need a water anyway,” he says. “Want one?”

It’s an out. He takes it gratefully.

“Yes.”

Too late, he realizes that he’s now alone. It’s not…he hasn’t been alone, not really, for this ordeal. Someone was almost always in his ear, keeping him updated or just entertained. Well, as entertained as possible, given the circumstances. But if things had gone wrong, or even just skewed, he’d been on his own.

Get it together.

He wants his hoodie back on. Well, really, he wants a shower, but right now he wants his hoodie.

A glass thunks down near him and he’s a little worried about the fact that he didn’t hear Jones come back.

Tired. Just tired.

“They didn’t drug you, did they?”

“Didn’t eat anything they gave me, so I don’t think so.” He doesn’t remember that. Surely he’d remember. “Just knocked me around a little.”

“Well, I’m worried about that.” A finger jabs at his stomach. “You don’t seem to have a concussion, and nobody ever died from bruised ribs, but if they fucked that up, I’m coming for them in the afterlife.”

Translation: I need to inspect it and you need to deal with it.

He drains his water, parched throat setting off celebratory firecrackers in response, and goes down.

“It’s fine.”

“Did you go to medical school?”

“Batman did a couple of semesters.”

“Batman can fuck off and die.” A warm, wet washcloth dabs at his stomach and he flinches. “Okay…you’ve got some burns, don’t get me wrong, but he didn’t actually hit the drill hole, so…” Firm prodding. “I want you to take it easy. No grappling, no sit-ups, no spin-kicks, no nothing for this entire weekend. You sleep, you eat, you hydrate. And that’s all you get to do.”

Well, that sucks. But at least he doesn’t have to have anything done to him.

“But it’s fine?”

“Amazingly, it’s fine.” Jones steps back and Jason sits up, arms curling around his ribs. “Don’t get crazy on it with the scrubbie, though.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank me by not putting yourself in these situations,” Jones gripes. “Go shower; not too hot, if you pass out in there I’ll kill you.”

He refills his water on the way, sticks a lid on it, and figures what Jones doesn’t know won’t hurt him. He just needs to get the phantom hands off his skin, that’s all.

It’s been a long few days.

THE END

#jason todd #fic #why do they kick me?#i don't remember writing this one at all #mark jones

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avatarskywalker78 · 5 months

Note

🥰🤩(Eddie Thawne)😔

🥰 a fluff WIP snippet

“I mean, humans have done a lot of shitty things.” “That is no excuse.” “True.” She said. “But from what I hear you’re trying your best to be better.” Orm had to process that for a moment. “…Arthur talks about me?” “Course he does!” Maia gave him a look like he was being an idiot. “He loves you, you know – even before all of this he used to talk about you if I asked. Always wanted to meet you even after…well, after.”

This is a little bit from my Aquafam AU - Maia is Arthur's teenage cousin and does have a tendancy to just drop this kind of information in a conversation, though in this case she assumes that Arthur's kind of...already told him this, as its been a few months since everything went down so surely Arthur must've mentioned this, right?

(He has not.)

🤩a WIP snippet about or with dialogue from [Eddie Thawne]

Malcolm felt that it was very ironic that the last couple weeks had been somewhat slow. Which was a good thing, of course, because that meant no disasters or situations, meant his friends and family were safe, which was all that mattered – and, of course, gave him more time to spend with his brother, because they did have over eleven years to catch up on, after all. Eddie had been seeing his therapist regularly since he’d poured out his guilt to Malcolm in tears – it had broken Malcolm’s heart seeing Eddie so devastated, so full of self-loathing, a far cry from the pillar of strength Eddie had always appeared to be in Malcolm’s childhood. Having had his own mental health struggles he understood, but he’d kicked himself for not realising something was wrong sooner, that of course his older brother would be struggling after everything that had gone down. But Eddie was going to therapy and Malcolm had seen his college counsellor, and things were on their way to getting better.

This is from Cobalt Blue Part 3, which is gonna be a little lighter than Part 2 but obviously has to deal with what happened then - Eddie finally opened up about things which is a good thing but oh, it was difficult for Malcolm to hear.

😔published lines or a section of a fic that was super sad, angsty, or difficult to write?

“Malcolm?” Eddie said quietly, disbelief and hope warring in his voice...and Malcolm understood why - five months of seeing someone comatose had to affect you, especially when there were no easy answers. “Hey, Eddie.” Not exactly the most stunning reply he could’ve given, but really, Malcolm didn’t know where to start, and expected questions from Eddie before that same awkwardness descended. Instead he found himself engulfed in a hug and Malcolm didn’t even hesitate before hugging him back just as tightly, holding onto Eddie as his brother started shaking. “Oh god, Malcolm, you’re awake. I thought you...I thought you were going to die.” He sounded really choked up and it pulled at Malcolm’s heartstrings because...Eddie never sounded like that. He was normally so...so sunny, so warm... “I didn’t, Eddie,” he reassured him. “I’m right here, and I’m fine.”

Honestly brothers (lost and found) was an emotional journey all the way through but this? This part? A reunion, a hug, eleven years in the making after a traumatic ordeal? Really fucking got me, like I was honestly tearing when writing this section, let alone the rest of the scene like they're hugging and they're going to be alright!

Wip fic ask game

#Answering my asks #Thanks for asking!#Wip fic ask game

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potionsprefect · 2 years

Text

Before ‘I Do’

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word Count: 628

Summary: Victoria and Ethan share a private moment before their wedding

Rating: General Audiences

Category: Fluff

Ethan stared out the window of the luxurious hotel, his entire body a bag of nerves.

He had never been this nervous for anything in his life, not starting med school, doing his boards, taking over as head of the diagnostics team.

Getting married had triumphed all of them.

He knew he had no reason to be nervous, he had been waiting for this day for a long time. Yet as the day approached he was a bundle of emotions.

He knew that would all change when he saw his bride.

Ethan didn’t quite understand the significance of a first look but Victoria was so enthralled by the idea that he couldn’t say no.

He could’ve just waited for her at the alter, but maybe he could get his tears out the way first.

“There’s no need to be nervous Ethan.” Sarah, Victoria’s sister said as she set up the cameras. “It’ll all be worth it.”

Ethan chuckled quietly. “I’m sure you’re right. I just want to get to the ceremony.”

“Victoria always said you weren’t patient. And think of all the content you’re going to have afterwards. Memories for everyone.” Sarah gestured to the video cameras.

“Thank you for doing this. Victoria and I appreciate it.” Ethan smiled.

“You’re welcome. Consider it part of my wedding present to you. And a welcome to our family.” Sarah smiled back.

Sarah pressed a button on each video camera which was Ethan’s cue to turn back to face the window, he could just about see Sarah give him a thumbs up before she quietly slipped out the room.

Ethan took several deep breaths, closing his eyes. She would walk into the room and tap him on the shoulder any second now.

Their final meeting as an engaged couple.

Ethan heard the door creak open, his heart started to beat quicker, a rhythm spelling out her name.

As it would do so for the rest of their lives.

Ethan felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, he could smell her perfume and his smile widened.

Ethan turned around and felt tears immediately form in his eyes. “Oh wow.” He whispered as a single tear ran down his cheek.

She looked amazing, like a walking and breathing Aphrodite. Her makeup was done to perfection, her hair curled down her back. Ethan ran his eyes further down her body, taking in her dress.

Lace seemed to suit her so well, he ran his hands down her sides, the material soft between his fingertips.

It had all been worth it, their special day was finally here.

“Hi handsome.” Victoria smiled up at him, her eyes shining brightly.

“You look so beautiful.” Ethan said, his voice small, forehead resting against hers.

“I have to keep up with you don’t I?” Victoria grinned as she fiddled with his tie.

“You’re right. This was a good idea.” Ethan said.

“I am usually right. But I’m glad you agree with me on this.” Victoria giggled. “Can you believe this day is finally here?”

“It’s been a long time coming.” Ethan smiled as he pressed a delicate kiss to her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Try not to make me cry because you’ll ruin my make up.” Victoria laughed.

“You’d still look beautiful no matter what.” Ethan said.

“Only fifteen minutes before we say I do. I better head back to the girls.”

“Don’t be late future Mrs Ramsey.” Ethan smiled.

“As if I would Mr Ramsey.” Victoria smiled as she winked and then headed out the room.

He continued to stare at the spot where she had just been, feeling more loved and happy than ever before. And that was all down to her.

He couldn’t wait to be able to call Victoria his wife

Guess what! E and V get married on the 24th of this month!

I have some great things planned. I’m going to do a picta series of the big day and will reveal more details about the other moments in due course (I was going to make a series but I don’t think I’ll have time but I’ll tell you all about it in detail!)

Tagging in reblog

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan ramsey x victoria clarke #ethan x victoria #playchoices #fanfic #open heart fanfic #open heart fanfiction #choices: open heart #fluff #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week

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icemavs · 2 years

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no retreat, baby (chapter one)

word count: 4.1k (masterlist)

i had a moment of inspiration and ended up with the first chapter of what is likely to be the longest thing i’ve ever written. in short, this is me following the plot of the movie from memory, and then making it as gay as i possibly can. i’ll add tags/warnings as i write more, but for now there aren’t any that matter. feedback is appreciated, good or bad, i haven’t written in years.

Sunday

Lieutenant Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw knew he was technically a day later than his report-no-later-than date said on the orders he received just two weeks before, but whatever, the class wasn’t supposed to start until Monday at 0700 sharp. Being in the Navy meant he knew his ass better be in his seat at 0659; and being a fighter pilot meant his ass better be in his seat about five minutes before that. So, screw his orders, he took the scenic route to make his way back to Fightertown, USA. And a long route it was. It took him a solid week of interstates and highways packed with semis and tourists to make it from Virginia Beach. Granted, he could’ve made the trip by air, the way he was sure the rest of his still-unknown classmates did, but Bradley couldn’t see the fun in that and made a little trip out of it.

After Bradley rolled into the parking lot of the all too familiar Hard Deck bar, he sat in the driver’s seat for a minute contemplating if he should really go in and see who all showed up or if he should just make his way to where he would be staying the next three weeks and pass out on the couch while Family Guy flashed in the background. Ultimately, Bradley made the decision to go in and have just one beer since he knew he better scope out the competition before tomorrow morning.

Upon entering, Bradley was met with a wall of noise, which he should’ve expected, walking in a bar right off a naval base where pilots trained. He knew the type all too well. But that was only because he was just like them, only he was determined to not be that way tonight. The place was packed wall to wall, shoulder to shoulder; some dressed up in their khakis, others dressed down in jeans and a simple t-shirt, even some in flight suits. Penny Benjamin was behind the bar laughing and smiling the way she had always been, even before she owned the bar and had a blast ringing that bell whenever someone put their phone on her bar. From the sounds of it, someone had done just that, as the bar was crowded as people did their best to snag a beer before the person next to them so the unlucky bastard who can’t read a sign could pay for it.

Bradley caught a glimpse of a blonde head walking toward the pool table, beers in hand and dressed in khakis. Surely it was another pilot, and lo and behold, a couple more seconds of following that blonde head led him to see more heads attached to khaki-clad bodies. Thankfully, he had the foresight to not wear his khakis, because for one, they were uncomfortable as shit, and two, he wasn’t traveling on the military’s dime this time, so why dress like it? He didn’t stick out as he gently pushed his way through the crowd to see the other pilots who had been given orders to get their butts back here. A voice made its way to him before he could even open his mouth to make a comment once he saw who was in front of him.

“Bradshaw,” LT Jake “Hangman” Seresin said, leaning down to grab a pool cue out of the hands of a pilot Bradley only kind of recognized. “As I live and breathe.”

“Hangman. You look,” Bradley paused. “Good.”

“Well, I am good, Rooster,” looking up from the table, Hangman tapped the cue ball and put one in the pocket. “I’m very good.”

Cocky son of a bitch, Bradley thought to himself.

“In fact, I’m too good to be true.” Jake continued.

Of fucking course.

Keeping his eyes trained on Hangman, Rooster, if he’s being honest, zoned out the rest of the conversation, but knew it had something to do with why they had all been called back to a special detachment of TOPGUN. He dialed back in in time to be able to come up with a retort to Hangman’s comment about thinking he would be team leader.

Met with a smile, Rooster wasn’t going to back down, no matter what Hangman threw at him. Jake came closer and Bradley maintained eye contact, not without noticing though, the semi-uncomfortable glances the two were getting from the rest of them. Jake kept talking, and Bradley, quickly deciding he wasn’t in the mood, stood there and took it. When Jake decided he was done and walked back to the bar, Rooster made his rounds of saying hello to those he knew from past deployments and trainings and getting introduced to those he didn’t know.

The night passed quickly, and the one beer Rooster told himself he was going to have turned into two, three, and four, and before he knew it, he was unplugging the jukebox and sitting at the piano. He had some vague memories of the piano, memories that felt the way a roll of film of important pictures looked when it had water spilled on it, not something to be happy about necessarily, but something worth remembering regardless. As his fingers felt familiar on the keys of the upright piano in the hazy bar off the beach, he closed his eyes and reached back as far as he could for a song he knew everyone would at least know the chorus to. When he hit that first chord and opened his eyes, he caught a glimpse of dark hair outside the window, probably the man he saw Hangman and Coyote toss out the door moments earlier. Rooster chose to ignore the puzzle pieces slowing fitting together in his brain when he remembered the familiar looking motorcycle he saw outside in tandem with the song he was playing. Shaking his head and making it look as though he hadn’t just had a whole crisis in the span of only a couple seconds, Bradley pounded the keys of the piano and belted out the words to his favorite song.

—

Bradley took the long way back to the place on base he was staying, a nice extended-stay style hotel room. He had a fridge – perfect for beer – a bed – perfect for sleeping – and a TV – perfect for mindless enjoyment after using the entirety of his brainpower for whatever this mission was. Two doors down from his room, Bradley heard loud laughter as the door opened and Coyote, Fanboy, and Payback spilled out of the room. Leaning out to say goodbye – and attempting to slap Payback’s ass in the process – was Hangman. Rooster was frozen involuntarily with his hand outstretched to unlock the door and looking in the direction of Hangman’s room. Hangman caught sight of him once the other three were making their way to their own rooms and didn’t say anything, only offering Rooster a wink and small smile before retreating back into his room.

What the fuck was that? Rooster thought. Big mouth can’t think of anything to say when no one else is around, apparently. Rooster shook his head and finished the task at hand of getting into his room.

—

Monday

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Rooster missed being on the west coast. The east coast was great – sunrises over the water, amazing seafood, military-friendly communities – but nothing could beat the morning weather as the sun slowly made its way over the mountains to give way to a shining Pacific Ocean. Rooster turned his back to the rising sun to finish the last couple miles of his morning run, ignoring the sweat that pooled in his mustache. He still refused to shave it.

Similar to the night before, while Bradley went digging for his room key, a sweaty Hangman ended up two doors down doing the same thing. Again, Jake offered no words, snarky or otherwise, unlocked his door and went inside, presumably to shower. Rooster shook his head and followed suit. While he stripped down out of his sweaty clothes and turned on the water, he couldn’t help but think of Jake. The other man always had something to say, he was never at a loss for words. And that was the strangest part, Hangman didn’t seem to be struggling to figure out what to say, he just didn’t say anything. Period. Nothing.

Maybe he’s not that big of an asshole, the angel on Bradley’s shoulder pointed out.

Yeah, but you know what he’s like in the air, and that’s what counts the most, the devil on his other shoulder said back.

To clear his head, Bradley stepped into the spray of the shower and got clean before getting dressed in a familiar black undershirt and green flight suit. He loved the days when he got to wear the flight suit. Having been around pilots and the Navy his whole life, Bradley had always looked up to the pilots and couldn’t wait to be one himself. He knew what it took to become the best of the best of naval aviators and worked toward that goal ever since he could remember. Bradley felt more at home in the glorified onesie and more comfortable being called Rooster than he ever did anywhere else. He knew it was where he belonged, and so help him God if anyone tried to take that away.

The drive to the airfield was a short one, and Rooster was there in no time. He made his way to the designated hangar and saw LT Natasha “Phoenix” Trace headed the same way.

“Phoenix!” Bradley called out. “Hey, good morning. How’d you sleep?” he asked once he caught up to her.

“Morning. Sleep was fine, but I didn’t have much time for grocery shopping when I got here, so my breakfast was subpar,” she replied. “What about you? I saw you running this morning on my way back from the gym.”

Rooster let out a chuckle. “Slept fine, ate fine, doing just fine. It’s weird to be back here, though. I thought I was done with TOPGUN once I graduated the first time.”

Phoenix just smiled, as the two had reached their seats, and diverted off to her own. Rooster heard her greet the others who got there before them and was about to do the same when he looked to his left and saw Hangman sitting there, talking with Coyote, but his eyes on Rooster. Thankfully, Coyote didn’t seem to notice or care that Hangman wasn’t all that engrossed in the conversation and turned to Fanboy since he had jumped in with a comment of his own.

“Good morning,” Hangman said in the direction of Rooster, a small smile playing on his lips, just in time for Vice Admiral Cyclone Simpson to enter the hangar. Hangman turned to face forward in his seat before Rooster could say anything back.

Rooster forced his eyes to the front of the room, having missed the first part of Cyclone’s introduction, but in time to hear Cyclone say who the instructor was going to be. The one person Rooster had hoped it wouldn’t be – Captain Pete “Maverick” Mitchell. Rooster braced himself for the moment Maverick saw he was there, regardless of the fact he was sure Maverick already knew and kept his gaze forward and unfocused. He watched the back of Hangman and Coyote’s heads lower when they finally realized that their instructor was the man they threw out of the bar the night before. Maverick’s face didn’t yield any semblance of recognition as he panned over the class, but he had and air about him that said he meant business.

Maverick began talking and Rooster zoned out, not wanting to hear what the man had to say at the moment but forcing himself to pay attention once Maverick had thrown the manual for the F/A-18 in the trash. Apparently, this mission was going to be so much unlike anything any of them had ever flown, and Rooster had his mind set on being the team leader. And beating Hangman, but that was beside the point. Mostly.

Once Maverick was done explaining the mission, they all gathered their gear up to go put their G suits on and head out to the flight line to familiarize themselves with the jets they would be flying for the next three weeks. When it came to fighter jets, Rooster knew his way around. He knew the ins and outs of the U.S. Navy’s prized Super Hornet; from the time it came online in 1999 to every single update that had been made to the avionics suite leading up to now. When Rooster graduated from pilot training and went to his first duty station, he knew right away that his goal was TOPGUN. The best of the best went there and came out instructors for their respective units and he wanted nothing more than to teach the next generation of naval aviators how to be the best. Though what had happened to his dad back in 1986 was not the fault of a poorly trained pilot, he wanted to keep any and all pilots from suffering the same fate. Being called back to complete this mission wasn’t something he expected, but it was something he was honored to be recognized for. It meant he had made it.

“Hangman! Payback! Fanboy!” Maverick called out. “Get in, you’re up first!”

Hangman opened his mouth, presumably to make a sarcastic comment, but shut it with a grin and climbed up into the cockpit. Payback and Fanboy gave each other a look and a shrug but began their pre-flight ground ops checks without a word.

It turned out that Hangman did indeed have a comment to make, and he had saved it for once they were already in the air.

“What’s the plan, old man,” Hangman’s crackly voice came over the small radio sitting between Phoenix and Bob. Rooster could hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

“Don’t get shot down,” Maverick said back with a clipped voice.

“Copy all, Maverick,” Payback jumped in before Hangman could dig himself a deeper grave.

They had talked about what they were doing in the joint mission planning they did prior to making their way out to the flight line, so, in reality, Hangman only made the comment to get under Maverick’s skin. From the way it sounded, it worked, but Rooster wasn’t thinking about that now. On the screen, he was watching the little blue symbols representing the two jets containing Hangman, Payback, and Fanboy, and the one little red symbol indicating Maverick. Maverick’s targeting pod was also up on the screen, showing clouds and open air, but a quick look at the numbers told Rooster Maverick was only flying at about 3,000 feet above ground level while Hangman was closer to 15,000 feet and Payback kept himself and Fanboy sitting around 16,000 feet.

“This is a dogfighting scenario,” Bob commented as he turned away from the screen to see if anyone else had noticed the altitude differences. “Why is Maverick so low? That’s not what he talked about in mission planning.”

“I’m sure the old coot has something up his sleeve,” Coyote remarked.

“Hey, show the old guy some respect,” Phoenix barked back but with no bite behind it. She cracked a smile when Coyote gave her a confused look.

Hangman’s voice came through the radio again.

“He said this was guns only, within visual range, so where the hell is he?” he said, right as Maverick punched the throttle forward and pulled back on the stick to blast his jet right through the small space between Hangman and Payback. A shout from Fanboy came through the radio, and Bob quickly reached forward to crank the volume.

“Fights on, fellas,” Maverick came through the radio, a laugh hiding in his voice. “Try not to get shot down, kids.”

The rest of the class not in the air became quickly engrossed in the fight happening on the screen, barely able to keep up with the two targeting pod feeds on the screen. Comms and courtesy through the radio were thrown out the window as Hangman and Payback did their best to stay out of the gun sights of Maverick. Quick rolls and turns came from all three aircraft and they all came within only a couple feet of each other more than once. On the screen, Rooster could see Maverick quickly flow aft of the other two and a loud “Fuck!” came though the radio right before a tone was heard and Maverick gave the kill call.

“You’re dead, Payback, Fanboy. See you on the ground,” Maverick said.

“Just you and me, sir,” Hangman cut in. “And I thought I would let you know that I’m a pretty good shot.”

Maverick just barked a laugh through the radio and up on the screen Hangman’s targeting pod was showing he had dropped a couple thousand feet in altitude and flowing back to the south, probably trying to get behind Maverick. Maverick exhaled heavily and turned tail to get head on with Hangman. After a few more minutes of nearly silent radio comms and up and down fights between Hangman and Maverick, the kill call came through the radio.

“See you back on the ground Hangman,” Maverick called out. Hangman just grunted and turned his display back to nav mode and headed home. Rooster gave a little fist pump at his side.

Back on the ground, Maverick called out the next groups and the fights continued until later in the afternoon. Not a single group was able to get a sight on Maverick, which resulted in 200 pushups per person each time they were shot down. The rest of the afternoon went by without any problems for Rooster – other than getting shot down, of course – and he was grateful when Maverick called a knock-it-off for the night and told them all to get home and rest since the real work would start tomorrow.

Ever since getting shot down right away, Hangman had been in a sour mood the whole day, snapping at everyone in his path, including Rooster. Rooster didn’t think anything of it, and actually he kind of expected it. It was a welcome relief after the night before when Jake seemingly couldn’t think of a word to say. As much as he tried to let it go, Bradley’s brain didn’t seem to want to let it go, and it kept reminding him each time the back of Hangman’s head came into view or they made quick eye contact.

The custom after a day of flying like that was to head to the bar together, mainly just to chill out, but also to get to know one another. Even though most of them already had an inkling of who each other was, they still went to the Hard Deck as a group, Phoenix, Bob, and Omaha piled into Rooster’s Bronco. Spilling out into the parking lot, the four of them headed inside and made their way to the bar where the rest of the class was already calling out drink orders to Penny. Bradley smiled to himself as his three passengers elbowed their way into the mix to try and get a drink before the others. It was all in good fun. Bradley had missed the comradery of being in pilot training with equals. At home in Virginia Beach, he was the instructor pilot that the new baby pilots were scared to piss off. It wasn’t that he got angry at them, it was just that he wanted them to be the best they could while still being safe. He had never lost a wingman and he certainly wasn’t about to lose a pilot still in training. A beer was thrust into his hand by a grinning Hangman, forcing him back into the present.

The night passed quickly, most of the bar clearing out well before midnight – it was a Monday night after all. The class of pilots was the only group left sitting around as Penny stacked chairs and stocked coolers. Bradley knew she wouldn’t kick them out until it was actually closing time, but he was getting tired anyway, so with a slap to his knees, he groaned and stood up to leave. The rest of the group tried getting him to stay, even though they knew it was a fruitless attempt. Bradley said goodbye and jingled his car keys to let the others know this was their last chance for a ride back from him. They waved him off and he made his way back to his room on base.

—

Bradley flipped on the TV and kicked off his shoes before heading to the bathroom to wash away the stress of the day. In the shower, Bradley turned to face the spray and once again his mind drifted to his and Jake’s wordless interaction approximately 24 hours before.

“There’s absolutely no meaning to that,” he said out loud to his shampoo bottles. “He was probably tired or something.”

Somewhere in him he knew that wasn’t it at all, but that was something he would have to deal with once he had more alcohol in his body clouding his thoughts. Rooster finished the rest of his shower uneventfully and trudged toward the bedroom to put on some comfy shorts and wrap a blanket around his shoulders. He kept his room at a chilly 65 degrees so he could wear cozy clothes with no remorse.

As he was simultaneously flopping down onto the couch and pulling out his phone, he heard a thud sound against the door. It was not a knock, it was someone’s whole body falling against the door in what was probably an attempt to open it but missing the handle and finding out it’s locked. Groaning, he got up to see who the culprit was. Bradley peeked out the peep hole before turning the lock to open up the door, only to see a fairly drunk Hangman standing sheepishly while staring at his feet.

Rooster pulled the door open, ready to scold him.

“Hangman, what the fuck, dude?” he said. “You’re two doors down. Are you really that drunk?”

Jake started to mumble something and tried to fish his key out of his pocket before Bradley got annoyed and picked it up from where it had fallen on the ground. He wasn’t in the mood – seeing Hangman almost always made him not in the mood – so he just stepped forward to grab Jake’s arm in order to lead him back to his room himself. Rooster had only planned to hold onto his arm at the elbow, but drunk Hangman had other plans. He snaked his arm around Rooster’s neck, gripping onto Rooster’s bicep to keep his arm from falling. Hangman’s other arm reached across to grasp at Rooster’s shirt, and upon not finding it, settled for hooking two fingers into the waistband of Rooster’s shorts. Bradley stiffened for a microsecond before starting the short trek to Jake’s room.

He shoved the key into the lock and pushed the door open while keeping Hangman upright and glued to his side. Bradley made his way into Jake’s room and to the couch, not wanting to go much farther into a room he didn’t want to get stuck in. Rooster dropped Hangman down onto the couch, feeling his two fingers slip out of his waistband and ignoring the fact that he missed the slight tension against his hip. Hangman’s other arm slid down off Rooster’s shoulder, trailing his fingers as he went. Jake gave a lazy smile to Bradley’s stern face and settled into the cushions. He patted the open cushion next to him, motioning for Bradley to join him.

“You’re drunk, dummy. I’m leaving,” Bradley took a step back. “Stay on the couch or make it to your bed, I don’t care. Just don’t be late for training tomorrow.”

Rooster forced himself to keep walking away as Hangman’s face fell. Why would he be disappointed Rooster was leaving? It’s probably only because he’s drunk, Rooster thought. He turned to face the door and leave once and for all when he heard a small noise behind him. Jake got up from the couch and stumbled toward the door.

“Wait,” he whispered.

“For what, Jake?” Bradley said back with only a hint of exasperation in his voice. Hangman turned and went back to the couch, Rooster taking a couple steps back into the room. Hangman sat down, Rooster within reach, and rested a hand on Rooster’s thigh.

Jake shook his head and pulled his hand back. “Um, nothing, Bradley. Have a good night.”

Bradley just stared back at him and said nothing. He turned on his heel and retreated to the door.

#rooster x hangman #hangster #sereshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #jake hangman seresin #top gun #top gun: maverick #miles teller #glen powell

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ruckusresourcebin · 2 years

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VOXES: STIMULANT LYRIC STARTERS. starters from the Sig Figs Collective’s album Voxes: Stimulant, a fan album dedicated to Dimension 20′s The Unsleeping City. Change pronouns / lines as needed!

TIMES GONE BY.

“ our fears have eyes that see the futures we could manifest. “ “ hold on tight those who know you true. “ “ don’t forget all of the years that made you into someone worth more than just a couple pearls. “ “ dream a bigger dream. “ “ when we’re left a choice and all the voices fade, will we trust the ones who lift us up? “ “ the things we need are already inside. “ “ there’s a sun on the horizon. “ “ will we make it there? “ “ we can make it there! “ “ throw avarice aside. “ “ we’ll take a cup of kindness yet for times gone by. “

OF ALL THINGS.

“ you abandoned them. “ “ where did you go? did you even love your family? “ “ you belong in the sewer. you’re a fucking rat. “ “ make sure you say goodbye. “ “ i’ve lived a life that’s small and putrid, drowning in regret. “ “ there are things that i’ve done that i’d like to forget. “ “ i know i’ve stained your soul with abandonment and pain. “ “ . . . you don’t seem to mind. “ “ you conduct your work with pride. “ “ now how do i depart? “ “ you’re the best son that i could’ve asked for. “ “ i don’t deserve all this love without heed. “ “ i can’t help but wonder what things you will achieve. “ “ if i was a better father, i would have worked harder and would have gone farther to see you succeed. “ “ i love you more than all things. “ “ i spent so many years defiant, feeling sorry for myself. “ “ i slowly recognized the suffering i’ve dealt. “ “ i developed the perspective to see others in distress. “ “ from that point on, i’ve aided my fellow dispossessed. “ “ you have the natural empathy that it took me years to see. “ “ i’m proud of the man you’ve become. “ “ you’re someone i wish i was when i was young. “ “ i ran away from my feelings, abandoned my family . . . “ “ you’re a fuckin’ ball - buster with a passionate luster to protect others without so much as a boast. “ “ i know you don’t forgive me. “ “ i would say i’m sorry, but there’s no apology that would let me hold you close. “ “ i have to go. “ “ i feel my consciousness expand. “ “ i can’t have what i want ; some dreams have to end. “ “ just know in your heart, i’ll be protecting you from somewhere. “ “ you saved us . . . you did it. “ “ you got to say goodbye. “

WALK WITH ME.

“ we were young then, back in our spring, but the leaves have all fallen. “ “ your name still lives in my throat. “ “ we were in love then. “ “ it’s not something we lost along the way. “ “ even if we made mistakes, they were the best i ever made. “ “ walk with me. “ “ i promise it will be easy. “ “ it all feels so new. “ “ let me get to know you. “ “ i don’t have anything to prove when i tell you i still love you. “ “ i’m sorry for the time i wasted. “ “ through the years, i always felt the same. “ “ i think it’s time i be a bit selfish. “ “ i’ve never been scared of the cold. “ “ if it’s with you, i want to grow old. “ “ let’s make some more memories. “ “ even if just for awhile, let’s try again. “ “ let’s make our dreams come true. “

LEEWAY.

“ it’s a really bitter lesson when you realize how much hope hurts you. “ “ life is full of so much light. it’s easy to remind yourself of what’s good. “ “ still, pain creeps in around the edges. “ “ sure, there might be roads that would be easier to walk, but the ones that we are on are all the better for the loss. “ “ when our paths cross, it’s worth for those fleeting seconds. “ “ i’ll stare down heaven, knowin’ that it’s pure perfection. “ “ the hope is worth the pain. “ “ when i look into your eyes, i can see a future i wanna live in. “ “ there’s nothing that we just can’t do. “ “ there’s magic all around us. “ “ you remind me how to wonder, how to dream what isn’t here yet. “ “ i’m not convinced that anyone could outshine you. “ “ i’d stare down god himself if it meant i got to spend just one second by your side. “ “ i’m learning there’s some lines that can’t be crossed. “ “ we’ll make it through whatever. “ “ there’s nothing that can’t keep us two together. “

SWORD GUY.

“ the government sucks. the establishment sucks. society fuckin’ sucks. but the devil? fuckin’ sick, dude. “ “ this hot topic’s a time capsule, vintage polaroid of like, ‘04. “ “ i stood at the black countertops as if they were an altar. “ “ he’s got, like, a marmot’s head. “ “ do you know what a marmot is? “ “ fuck, this shit looks looks fuckin’ sick, dude! “ “ my heart is as cold as the ice, like the ice in the parking lot but also hard, like the concrete that mixes with the ice, in the mall, in the parking lot. “ “ the pigs & the pit lions set to fight now and the gladiator? he is set to go down! “ “ bro, i’m like an even bigger lion, like a liger, and instead of claws i’ve got, like, twelve fucking swords, dude. “ “ the devil’s fuckin’ cool. “ “ i’m losin’ my grip, again. “ “ oh, i’m gonna be sick. i swear, i’m gonna be so fuckin’ sick, dude, sick as hell. “ “ like, an angel in the night, but not that boring kind of angel. “ “ bro, my wings are made of swords and i’ve got horns instead of halos! “ “ lucifer, beseech me! help me defeat my enemies! “ “ don’t be my oorichimaru. be my jiriya, maybe? “ “ he doesn’t have, like, snakes for arms or anything, so i think i’m good, right? “ “ i’m fine. this is fine. “ “ this is the devil. “ “ this is definitely the devil. i mean, he straight up said, ‘yes, i am the guy you just said,’ and i just said the devil . . . so? “ “ those tender thoughts i do refine. “ “ i am the one that you seek, so come hither. “

NOTHING.

“ what if, anything, stays? “ “ have you heard tale of the child who looks over every night? “ “ go visit them. “ “ you will be safe as their guest, but be sure not to leave their eyes. “ “ one by one, it kills the stars. “ “ its shadow makes the city bleed and the empty windows scream. “ “ do not step out into the deep. �� “ you will not wake up from that sleep. “ “ nothing. nothing stays. “

LONELY.

“ i’m so lonely. “ “ no one to hold me. no one to tell me it’s gonna be alright. “ “ dunno how all this happened, where i found all this sadness. “ “ seems it’s been a month since i saw my reflection and smiled. “ “ this city takes its toll. “ “ i’m losing all control of my heart, of my head, of my mind . . . “ “ tell me i’m gonna be fine. please, somebody tell me. “ “ i’m such a clown, naive and dumb. “ “ i’m facedown in the covers of my bed again. “ “ nothing bad is ever gonna happen. “ “ you don’t have to be alone. “ “ i can be there in a moment. “ “ i’ll be there for you, if you want me to. “ “ it’s hard to hold on. “ “ hold on. “ “ we look out for each other. “ “ is there someone bothering you right now? “ “ you can talk to me. let your guard down. “ “ does this have something to do with the things you saw? “ “ did it scare you? “ “ i know that people are harder to read sometimes. “ “ it’s confusing, figuring truth from lies. “ “ i’m here for you, and our friends are too. “ “ meet my eyes: you’re alive. you’re not alone again. “ “ pull up a seat, prop your feat, eat your fill, and then we’ll just exist. “ “ if tomorrow things get worse, we’ll do it all again. “

MANTRA.

“ these meetings of the mind always lead to contests of might. “ “ well, you hope to see fists fly ‘cause if it’s words, it’s ruined lives. “ “ sometimes, looking forward means you can’t watch your back. “ “ though it pains me to stop dreaming, it seems for now i need the past. “ “ a man can always smile to make it seem like he’s polite, but i know too many times it’s just a place where malice hides. “ “ he holds the power to jump from first place to last. “ “ i know i’m just as worth it. “ “ seems for now i’m trapped. “ “ status quo can’t be our ideology! “ “ things never got better by leaving them be! “ “ i won’t become the one that keeps the future bleak! “ “ i promise you, the fuckin’ buck will stop with me! “ “ don’t think that things are done just ‘cause you gave me little crumbs. “ “ i’m chasing down the sun, makin’ sure tomorrow comes. “

CITY LIGHTS.

“ wait, what did he just say? “ “ there’s those of us in gutters, those on sorts of stages. “ “ this city’s streets shouldn’t be lined with folks. “ “ these are the hearts, the hope, unlike ‘upstanding’ dopes like you, sir, running some kind of hoax. “ “ c’mon man, don’t fuck with my people! “ “ this is my block, these are my streets! this is my town, and this is my city! “ “ we won’t let no sycophantic, greedy, two - faced guy like you come here and corrupt the culture! “ “ the fuck you thinking? we are new yorkers! “ “ we’ll rise above your corporate torture. “ “ they lead us home tonight. “ “ we protect our own. “ “ we protect our home. “ “ you’ll be safe with us. “ “ ‘cause new york city and i will provide! “ “ i’ll be here serving and protecting until the day i die. “ “ no, what the fuck did you just say? “ “ my domain has encountered many a strange thing. “ “ know that, him? he is my people. yes, he is my people! “ “ we’ll channel our power, and for extra measure, kick your ass into the pavement. think of it as the city’s payment. “ “ these are the lights that welcome strangers home. “ “ maybe this city isn’t better off with me looking the other way. “ “ i’ve loved and then i sure have lost. “ “ would you take me? make me feel the same? “ “ life looks to be leading back to you today, and tomorrow, next week, next month. “ “ if i asked you for the night, would you stay? “ “ welcome all the dreamers to this beautiful skyline! “ “ i’m here flying high in this city. “ “ ain’t this swell? “ “ aren’t you pretty? “

WAKE UP.

“ it’s harder . . . it’s harder to think sometimes. “ “ my mind gets foggy. “ “ i start to sink sometimes into apathy. “ “ please, come talk to me. “ “ i’m part of something only few may comprehend. “ “ try not to slip back in again. “ “ it’s fantastic, amazing, how the world can open up to someone. “ “ it’s pleasant . . . the feeling i get when i can bring some sense of fun. “ “ dramatic, but it really feels like i’m becoming someone fantastic, phantasmal! “ “ here i am. i am the one! “ “ watch out! “ “ so run, if you’re hiding. “ “ don’t fear change. transformations incoming! “

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