#that’s a sign I’m fine. it’s proof I’m fine and that I’m not focusing on work or doing the other important tasks

[xiaq]

Steddie Time Travel Fixit: Pt. 6

Ao3 Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7

Steve wears the Hellfire shirt.

He wears it half tucked in to a pair of tight distressed jeans with black lace-up shitkicker boots, both of which Eddie knows Steve has never worn to school before because he would have fucking remembered.

His hair is just as stupidly teased as usual, but paired with the rest of him it looks a whole lot less preppy and a whole lot more like he should have a cigarette tucked behind his ear and a leather jacket over his shoulder.

And Eddie knows that he should be focused on whatever the hell is happening with the kids and Hopper and the fact that Steve apparently has war flashbacks involving D&D characters but all that mystery falls to the wayside when the former reigning jock king is walking around the hallways like a living breathing wet dream in a shirt Eddie created.

Eddie is but a man.

Distractible.

Fallible.

Horny.

Steve catches him staring from down the hall and gives him a lazy two finger salute, grinning with the kind of ease that comes from being attractive and knowing it.

It should be infuriating.

It is not.

“Is this a dream?” Gareth says, drawing even with Eddie. “This has to be a dream, right? No way is Steve fucking Harrington wearing a Hellfire shirt.”

“I don’t know about you,” Eddie says faintly, “but if this was my dream he wouldn’t be wearing anything at all.”

“Oh, gross.”

“Look at him,” Eddie insists. Ever since that time at Jeff’s last year when the band was all high and Eddie got a little too honest, they’ve all sort of ignored the fact that Eddie is gay. They don’t ask him about girls and he doesn’t talk to them about guys. But this is…a special circumstance. 

And it’s fine. Because Eddie is not the only person looking. Everyone is looking—some with sneers or confusion but most with envy or probably equal amounts of the lust that Eddie is currently trying to subdue. Even the straightest guy in the world has to admit that Steve is—

“Yeah,” Gareth says. “I  mean no, still gross because it’s Harrington,  but yeah I can see how—no. Never mind. I’m going to class.” Gareth pauses. “Wait. Do you think he’s going to sit with us at lunch?”

He sits with them at lunch.

Eddie more or less sleepwalks through his morning classes and leaves History before the bell so he can get to the lunchroom first and he does not save Steve a seat. He has no expectations when he enters the cafeteria. No hopes related to the company he’ll keep while consuming his soggy PB&J. He just has a jacket that ends up on the seat next to him and when Jeff tries to move it he maybe glares at him a little.

When Steve moves the jacket so he can sit down, Eddie does not glare.

“Fucking figures,” Jeff mutters.

Eddie is never going to live this down and he doesn’t even care. 

“Nice shirt, big boy,” he says, because apparently Eddie’s mouth is just saying things.

Steve stills. For a moment, Eddie is reminded of the night before–of terror and gasped breathing. But then, just as quickly, he’s grinning at Eddie like some sort of sunshine creature, like joy incarnate, plucking at the tight fabric straining across his chest.

“I dunno, I don’t think I’m particularly big, it’s not my fault you gave me such a small size.”

“Well, beggars can’t be choosers,” Eddie retorts.“Everyone who signed up at the beginning of the year got one custom made,” he gestures to the guys as proof before drumming his fingers against Steve’s shoulder. “This’s one of mine and the most exercise I get is hauling amps and running from cops.”

Steve reaches over to wrap his hand around Eddie’s bicep and it’s Eddie’s turn to go still under the heat of his palm and the weight of his attention. Steve meets his eyes for a fleeting second before they flick down to his own fingers. Steve squeezes.

“You seem plenty fit to me.”

“Amps,” Eddie repeats. It’s a little breathless. It’s fine.

“Jesus christ,” Jeff mutters.

Steve’s hand is still on his arm when nearly half the basketball team approaches, detouring to stop on their way to their standard table. 

He wouldn’t say that a hush falls over the cafeteria but there are certainly a lot of eyes suddenly on their table. And not much talking.

“What the fuck, Harrington,” one of them––Eddie doesn’t know, nor does he care to know, his name––says. “You ditched us for the freaks?” He looks genuinely baffled, which Eddie has to admit is fair. “Is this some kind of joke? Does Munson have something on you?”

Steve leans away from the table, hand moving from Eddie’s arm to the back of his chair, he hitches his opposite elbow on the back of his own chair. He kicks one foot up to brace on the table leg.  It’s the stereotypical jock position: chest wide, staking a possessive claim, except Eddie isn’t a cheerleader.

“I don’t like what you’re implying,”  Steve says.

“Dude, whatever it is,” the guy’s eyes linger on Eddie in a way that Eddie really does not like, “we can take care of it.”

Steve sighs.

It’s long and loud and purposeful.

“Listen, I feel like maybe Hagan hasn’t held up his end of our bargain, so let me make this as clear as I can and we can all be mature about it. Ah––” he interrupts himself, raising his voice a little, “No, hey. Look at me. All of you.”  His tone is calm and level and patronizing in a way that Eddie knows would be infuriating if it was directed at him.

“I need you to understand,” he says slowly, making eye contact with each of them in turn, “That I’m not joking. I’m not posturing. If you touch Eddie, if you touch anyone at this table, you’re going to have a lot more to worry about than passing your driving test or making the starting lineup. There are people in the world with real problems and if you fuck with any of my new friends, you’re going join them.”

A couple scoff. Tommy, near the back, is distinctly silent. And without their usual ringleader, no one else volunteers to step forward as the aggressor.

“What happened to you, man?” One of the guys says instead.

Steve sighs again. It feels more genuine this time. “I grew up,” he says. “I recommend it.”

And then he just…waves them off, like he’s tired.

And they leave.

The group retreats to their own table in a wake of low murmurs, and everyone lets out a collective exhale.

Except for Steve, who is leaning into Eddie’s space again.

“You were weirdly quiet through that,” Steve murmurs, pushing Eddie’s hair over his shoulder so he can whisper in his ear. It’s an entitled gesture. The heat of his breath, fanned against Eddie’s neck, sends goosebumps down his arms.

“If I’m mouthy, it tends to just piss people off,” Eddie mutters back. “And I’m trying not to cause trouble for you seeing as you seem to create plenty for yourself.”

“Do what you want,” Steve says easily. “I know how to fight.”

Eddie tells his dick to calm the fuck down.

Now is not the time.

“Besides,” Steve whispers, even quieter, lips practically against Eddie’s ear, “I think I prefer you mouthy.”

Fuck.

This is flirting, right? It has to be flirting. 

He makes frantic eye contact with Jeff and––yeah, judging by the expression on Jeff’s face Eddie is not making shit up. Steve Harrington is hitting on him. In the school cafeteria. 

“Oh hey,” Steve says abruptly, turning to pull a Tupperware container out of his stuffed full backpack. “I made cookies last night if you guys want some.”

“Cookies?” Gareth says faintly.

“Yeah, peanut butter chocolate chip. The kids I babysit wanted some so I made a double batch to share. They’re good, I promise. And I substituted applesauce for some of the sugar and oil so they’re not as unhealthy as they could be––but don’t tell the kids that.”

He peels off the lid and Eddie is hit with the second-most heavenly smell he’s ever encountered. The first may or may not be Steve Harrington himself, who is now handing him one of the cookies. Eddie takes it wordlessly, watching as Steve stands to carry the container around to everyone else.

Gareth leans across the table so only Eddie can hear him. “How confused is your boner right now?” Gareth whispers.

Eddie suppresses a slightly hysterical whine. “Oh, are we talking about this? We don’t need to talk about this.”

“I think we’re going to have to if he keeps this shit up.”

“No,” Eddie says. “No, no. I’ll be fine. I just need to…get my head straight.”

“Good luck with that.” Gareth takes a bite of his cookie, “Oh, damn, these are good.”

Eddie eats his own cookie and tries not to moan about it.

He’s fine. Everything is fine. 

••••

Steve Harrington is good at D&D.

Eddie had been worried, at first, that Steve might not take things seriously. That he’d laugh at their silly voices or make fun of the guys who wear costumes or just…make it clear that he thought they were ridiculous. Childish.

Instead, he maybe takes things too seriously––asking detailed questions about terrain and weather patterns and doing so many perception checks that Jeff is about ready to strangle him an hour in, but his overly cautious approach uncovers more than one trap Eddie had set. Steve is excellent at strategy and disconcertingly good at organizing the party when there’s something to fight. Even more disconcerting, most of his strategies appear to involve martyrdom and it’s only through Eddie fudging his combat rolls a little that Steve’s character survives the night. 

He’s not perfect, of course. Steve’s math skills are abysmal and he constantly has to be reminded what his modifiers are, which Eddie does gently and without complaint, because he’d copied down Steve’s stats the night before and he doesn’t want Steve to be embarrassed. The guys will definitely never, ever, let him live it down, but he figures he’s already lost so much credibility with them at this point a little more won’t be the end of the world.

And Steve keeps smiling at him, so.

Worth it.

When Steve’s watch alarm goes off, a minute before 7pm, he makes a hasty exit for the bathroom, bag in hand, and the other guys decide he must have some sort of medication he has to take and he didn’t want to do it in front of them. Eddie doesn’t correct them, doesn’t know how he would even try to correct the assumption because he doesn’t actually understand what Steve is doing. But it does remind him that there is a Mystery afoot and Eddie really should be trying to figure out what the hell is going on instead of just…mooning over Harrington’s pretty face.

Then again, nothing is stopping him from doing both.

The guys warm to Steve by the end of the session, patting his back and calling goodbye as they exit the doors under the external halogen lights.

The night is quiet and cool and when Steve offers to drive Eddie home, Eddie can only say yes. Eddie slides into the passenger seat, tossing his backpack into the back, and decides to take the opportunity to snoop. He opens the glove compartment and pulls out the handful of cassettes inside.

“Oh,” Steve says, “wait, that’s not––”

There’s Dio and Metallica, Iron Maiden and Motorhead, and then the artists Eddie suspected all along: Madonna, A-ha, Donna Summer, ABBA, Journey, The Eagles and—oh.

Fleetwood Mac. With Landslide on the B side. 

It’s shiny and new. No scuffs on the case.

“Shit,” Steve mutters under his breath.

“When did you even have time to get this?” Eddie asks, baffled. And maybe he shouldn’t assume, maybe he’s completely off-base, but Steve looks like he’s been caught doing something illegal so he thinks the assumption is apt. “You left our place at like 10pm last night and you’ve been in school all day.”

“I have a free period before lunch. The record store is a five minute drive from campus.”

“But…why?”

“I don’t know,” Steve says, with the soft resignation of someone lying. It sounds more like, “I can’t tell you,” which makes Eddie want to shake him.

Eddie considers Steve’s shadowed face: his downturned mouth and his stupidly long eyelashes. He looks tired.

Eddie exhales. “Well, we’re listening to it.”

Steve doesn’t argue.

He doesn’t say anything else at all until they get to the trailer and he’s hurrying around to open Eddie’s door for him and get his bag from the backseat like Eddie is some girl he’s dropping off after a date.

“Oh wait,” he says, ducking back to grab his own bag. “I have—hold on, it’s—there we go.”

He emerges with another tupperware container in his hands, this one smaller than the one he passed around at lunch.

“I thought Wayne might want some,” he says shyly, eyes on the cookies in his hands. “As a thank you. For yesterday.”

Eddie is going to scream.

“That’s really nice. I’m sure he’ll love them, and if he doesn’t I’ll eat them because apparently you’ve been possessed by Betty Crocker’s ghost. Or—actually I don’t know if she’s dead or not. Or if she was a real person. Anyway, the point is that—“

Steve is smiling at him. Softly. Like he’d be happy to listen to Eddie ramble as long as he wants.

Eddie clears his throat. “Wayne should be home if you want to give them to him.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll, uh, walk you in.”

So much screaming.

Steve does walk him in, hands over the cookies to a baffled-looking Wayne, and then touches Eddie’s hand—hardly a touch at all really, his first two fingers resting, briefly, on Eddie’s wrist, his thumb tucked just under the meat of Eddie’s palm, almost like he’s checking Eddie’s pulse.

“Goodnight,” he says.

Eddie doesn’t even know if he responds.

He’s still looking down at his wrist when Steve’s car engine starts and the headlights fan over the windows before everything goes dark and still outside.

“So,” Wayne says. “Is he…”

“What?” Eddie asks blankly.

 “...your sweetheart?”

That’s enough to break Eddie out of whatever trance he’d been in. “My–? Jesus. No. You know who you’re talking about, right?”

“I know what I’m seeing,” Wayne mutters. “Not sure I’m happy about it.”

Eddie’s stomach immediately goes sour. They’ve never actually discussed Eddie’s romantic preferences. Wayne knew. He had to know, considering the circumstances in which Wayne became Eddie’s guardian. But they’ve never said anything out loud to each other and Eddie was hoping to continue that tradition potentially for forever.

“Wait,” Wayne says, moving forward to squeeze his shoulder, “I didn’t mean––fuck, you know I’m no good at this shit. Come sit down.”

They move to the couch.

They sit.

Wayne digs the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“I don’t care who you’re sweet on or who you bring home, you hear me? As long as they treat you right and they don’t get you into trouble. But that Harrington boy… I get the feeling he’s trouble. And with his folks being who they are, I just want you to be careful. That boy has a history and I don’t know what it is, but I’d wager it isn’t pretty.”

“I don’t know what it is either,” Eddie murmurs. “He’s not––I don’t think he’s bad trouble, though. He’s trying to protect me. Us. At school. Even though it’s put a giant target on his back. He’s quit basketball and joined Hellfire and he’s. I don’t know. I like him.” It feels like a confession.

“I wonder how his Daddy feels about all that,” Wayne murmurs. “You ever seen him come to school hurt?”

Eddie considers. “I don’t know. Why?”

Wayne just looks at him.

“You think his parents––?”

“I think I know the kind of boy his father was. I can imagine the sort of man he turned into.”

Eddie feels chilled all the sudden. He gets up from the couch to close the open window above the sink. It doesn’t help. He rests his hands, fingers splayed, on the countertop. He taps his nails on the fornica.

Abuse wouldn’t explain the kids or the panic attack or why he suddenly seems obsessed with Eddie. But it would explain some things.

“I’m not going to start avoiding him,” Eddie says.

Wayne sighs. “I didn’t expect you would. Considering.”

Eddie doesn’t ask him to elaborate.

He holds up the container of cookies Wayne had abandoned on the counter, then carries them over to the couch when he nods. 

Wayne selects the largest one from the top. “Did he actually play your dragons game?”

Eddie nearly chokes on a laugh, helping himself to a cookie as well. “He did. Wasn’t half bad, either.”

Wayne takes a bite. His eyebrows go up. “Shit, did he make these?”

“He did,” Eddie says.

“Well. I suppose we can keep him around.”

Pt. 7

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington/eddie munson #steve/eddie #eddie/steve #myfic #time travel fix it #stranger things fic

[wandering-winchesters]

Hunt Gone Wrong

Dean Winchester x injured Reader

Summary: The reader is injured while on a hunt, but doesn't want the boys to know. Considering it should have been a super easy hunt.

Word Count: 2,009

Not Proof Read

Trigger Warning: Blood, Injury, Needles, Swearing. 18+

AN: Requests are open! Please send them to me. If you’d like to be added to my tag list, please let me know!

Masterlist

I’m not a colorful person, the majority of my wardrobe is made up of black, gray and dark greens. Today, more than ever I’m thankful for my drab wardrobe. Blood doesn’t show in black. I know the gash on my side is bad, but how bad I’m not sure. When I had pulled my hand out from under my shirt it was covered in blood. My blood. I wince, shifting slightly in the passenger seat of the impala. Biting my lip to keep my breathing as steady as possible. Focusing on the trees flying past as Dean drives, his foot weighing heavily on the accelerator.

The hunt had gone exceptionally well, minus the small mishap that had left me in my current situation. Dean and Sam had begrudgingly let me come with them to take out a demon, an easy job. There was only one that we were after on this occasion, or so we thought. We had unintentionally split up upon entry to the house, Sam and Dean had headed upstairs searching for the demon. But something caught my attention and I had veered away from them. I realize now, that it was all apart of the demons plan to draw me away from the protection of the boys. A fact that I wanted to keep from Sam and Dean. Hence, why I was doing my best to keep my injury hidden from them. Praying my shirt and flannel would absorb all of the blood and I wouldn’t stain the seats in the impala.

I zone in and out, listening to the boys argue about what they could have done differently, what went right and who screwed up what. I am counting down the minutes until we are back at the hotel, my jaw clenched, every muscle in my body aching from how tense I have been on the short, fifteen minute drive back. 

“Y/N?” Dean says, reaching over to squeeze my knee. I jump, pulling away absentmindedly, “You okay there? You have been awfully quiet.” His brows pull together, worry forming across his face at my actions. “Yeah, I am good. Just tired, ready to get to the motel. All good De.” I try my best to smile, probably more of a grimace.  I know I haven’t convinced him, his lingering glance that I catch out of the corner of my eye tells me that much. He knows me all too well, a fact that I do not normally mind. However, today, I just want to fade into the background. I wish that he was not as familiar with my mannerisms as he is. 

The gravel crunches under the tires of the car as Dean parks in front of the motel. After a few seconds of arguing, Sam heads inside to get us a room. 

“I don’t know about you, sweetheart, but I am starvin’! Demon killing always works up my appetite. What do ya’ want for dinner?” Dean asks, turning the car off and grabbing his jacket from the seat next to him, preparing to get out of the Impala. “Hmm?” I hadn’t been paying attention to his words, my hand pressed tightly against the wound on my side, trying to gauge just how bad it is. “Oh, I don’t know Dean, I am not that hungry.” I give him a half smile, looking him in the eyes for the first time since we left the run down and demon infested house. 

His face falls quickly, looking me over, searching for any sign of injury. 

“Jesus, you’re as pale as a ghost, Y/N! Are you hurt?” He throws open the drivers door and moves to climb out, surely to come over to the passenger side and look me over for himself. 

“No, Dean, I am fine, I promise! Just tired, today took it out of me. I will be fine after a shower and a good nights sleep.” Dean gets distracted by Sam making his way back over to us. 

“So, good and bad news. Good news is I got us a room. Bad news, they only had one room open, but there are two beds at least!” Sam says, tossing the room key onto the hood of the impala, while he walks to the trunk and pulls out his bag. 

I throw open the passenger door and snatch the key off the hood of the car before Dean can. "I call first shower!" I sling the strap of my bag over my shoulder and walk as quickly as I can, to the door of the room.

The next few minutes are a blur, I manage to grab a change of clothes and the first aid kit out my bag and slip into the bathroom. Avoiding the any further contact with Sam or Dean. I curse under my breath, turning the lights on in the small, dingy space. Realizing now, just how light headed I am. I anchor myself against the sink, using my other arm to slide my flannel off my shoulders and let fall to the floor. I take a deep breath and pull my shirt off, steeling myself for what I am about to see. The sight of blood is one thing that has not gotten any easier, mine or someone else's.

The cut is deep, deeper than I thought it would be. I wince, as I pull the fabric of my shirt away from my skin, the dried blood making it an even harder task.

"Fuck." I am going to need stitches. I angle my body to the mirror, trying to get a better look. The angry, red gash stretches from the top of my hip, up to the front of my ribcage. Fresh blood begins to pool and drip from the wound, irritated from the removal of my shirt. How am I going to do this? I can do stitches, sure, but I have only ever done them for the boys. The angle that I will have to work at seems impossible at the moment.

I lean over and turn on the shower, figuring I should clean out the wound before stitching it up, plus the sound of the shower would help to cover up the gasps and whimpers I cannot seem to contain now that I am alone. I grab a seemingly clean towel, from the rack in the bathroom and press it against my side. Trying to slow the bleeding while I collect my thoughts. I am interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Y/N, I am just gonna wash my face while you shower-" Dean opens the door and sticks his head in the room. Stopping in his tracks as he sees me, a mumbled apology starts to roll off his tongue, before he freezes. His eyes trained on the towel that I have pressed to my side. I glance down and notice the red tinge that covers the part of the towel that I had already used.

"Damn it, Y/N. What happened?" He asks, slipping the rest of the way into the room and shutting the door behind him. He crosses the small space to me in a second, taking the towel from my hand and pulling it away so he can survey just how bad it is. His brow creases, as he looks closer. I can see worry etched into every inch of his face. "I'm fine De, Just a scratch." I mumble, looking away from him, not wanting to see the expression on his face any longer.

"You are as far away from fine, as that can be." He states, grabbing the first aid kit off the counter and hurriedly searching for the suture kit that we keep in all of our bags. I feel the tears that I have been holding back, begin to fall. I curse under my breath, and glance up at the ceiling, trying to hold back those tears I so desperately do not want to fall.

"I can do it myself, Dean, I don't need your help." I state, trying to take the sutures from his hand. He stops me easily, a hand wrapping around my wrist. He releases my wrist after a few long, painful seconds and looks at me.

"Stop it, I wasn't asking if you wanted or needed my help. I am doing this. Now, are we doing this the easy way, or the hard way? Because if you want to be difficult, I can go get Sammy to help. And you know he is way more dramatic than I am about these things." He states, holding the suture kit up above his head, to keep me from trying to grab it from him.

"Okay." I mumble, my voice barely more than a whisper. Dean nods, gently guiding me over to the counter, encouraging me to hop up on to the elevated surface so he can have easier access to the wound on my side.

Time passes slowly as Dean cleans the lovely gash caused by my moment of stupidity on the hunt. The tension in the small bathroom building by every passing moment. I can feel the anger and frustration radiating off of Dean in waves.

"Shit, that hurts De." I hiss as the suture pierces my skin for the first stitch of many. I hear a low apology make its way from him, his brows knit together in concentration.

"Why didn't you just tell me? Or Sam? For God's sake Y/N, this isn't just a scrape. It's deep. Judging by how pale and clammy you are, you've lost a lot of blood. If you had just told me when it happened, we could've done something about it ages ago!" He curses, grabbing a clean square of gauze to wipe away some of the fresh blood.

"I didn't want to disappoint you, it was supposed to be an easy hunt. It's my own damn fault that it happened. Plus, I didn't think it was this bad. Figured I could clean it up on my own and you'd never had been the wiser. If I had just remembered to lock the goddamn door." I shrug my shoulders, immediately regretting the motion as waves of pain ripple through my body. Nerves igniting that I didn't even know existed.

"You could never disappoint me, I am just sorry that this happened in the first place. We shouldn't have split up, you aren't stupid Y/N."

He finishes the sutures over a period of time that feels like hours, but in reality was only minutes. His touch gentle and cautious, but firm and reassuring at the same time. A combination that I didn't think possible, especially coming from the older of the two Winchesters. "Finished," He sighs, helping me down from the counter. "Do you want help showering? You need to be careful not to rip your stitches."

It takes me a moment to process what he said, his offer to help me shower a first coming from him. Our friendship had never gone past meaningless flirtation, this level of intimacy something that I wasn't prepared for coming from him.

"Uhm, no, I think I will be okay, thank you though." I say, glancing up at him with a small smile. "Are you still angry with me?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

"Y/N, I was never angry." He hesitates, as if debating on if to finish what he was going to say. "I was scared. I wasn't there to protect you and you got injured. The thought of something happening to you, I just-" He pauses again, his fingers coming up to brush a strand of hair out of my face and behind my ear. The calluses on his fingers, dragging against my skin. "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you, that's all." He presses a quick kiss to my forehead, then turns on his heel to head out of the bathroom.

"De, wait." I say, reaching out and grabbing his hand before he opens the door. "Could you stay, and help me wash my hair?"

#deanwinchesterblurb #deanwinchesterxreader #dean winchester x reader #supernatural dean #dean winchester #dean winchester fluff #deanwinchesterfluff #dean x reader #spnfamily #spn #supernatural #dean winchester angst #wanderingwinchesters #dean winchester comfort #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x injured reader

[danikamariewrites]

Hi! Can you write a one shot (hopefully on the longer side) where reader is just struggling with anxiety and depression and Cassian is comforting her? TIA!

Fix You

Cassian x reader

A/n: hi anon! I was in the mood to write this one. I had a bad day and was feeling depressed today so it was nice to imagine Cassian taking care of me while writing this. So if you’re feeling depressed know you’re not alone and if anyone ever wants to talk my dms are open :)

Warnings: angst, mental health struggles, anxiety, depression (I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry for any typos)

A few weeks ago you felt your depression creep in again. But there was no way you were about to have a depression episode. You and Cassian were happy. There was nothing really to stress about, your work load had increased a little but nothing you couldn’t handle.

So you pushed it down. Kept fighting your thoughts and just kept breathing. Everything was fine. Cassian didn’t suspect anything and you wanted to keep it that way. You hated feeling like a burden to him. It made you feel anxious that he would take time off of work to stay with you.

Cassian always said he didn’t mind, but a little voice in your mind told you he did mind and hated you for it. You did love that he was so willing to take care of you. No one in your life had ever been there for you like Cassian has.

All day you felt mentally exhausted. Your social battery was drained and your depressive episode was winning. You were going to fight it for Cassian and for yourself. You were supposed to be getting ready to go to Rita’s tonight with everyone but all you could do was zone out while staring at your reflection in the mirror.

You weren’t focused on imperfections, you just hated how tired you were. The bags under your eyes seemed deeper, more purple. Blinking at your reflection you felt the ache of tears build behind your eyes and that all too familiar lump form in your throat.

Closing your eyes for a few seconds you open them and let your tears flow. You felt insane for just staring at yourself with a blank face while you silently cried. It was better to let it out at home than at Rita’s surrounded by your friends.

You don’t know how long you stood there just watching yourself cry. It had to have been a while because Cassian finally knocked on the bathroom door. He didn’t wait for you to respond to come in. “Y/n?” “Yeah.” Your voice cracks and sounds far away from your body.

Cassian turns you to face him, cupping your face in his hands. His thumbs wipe away your tears as he looks at you, really looks at you like he’s searching for the answer to an unspoken question. “Is it bad again?” Your face scrunches and you begin to sob. You nod, burying your face in Cassian’s chest.

He holds you close to him before picking you up to carry you to bed. You didn’t realize he was already dressed to go out and your guilt for making him stay home made you cry harder.

Cassian jumps on the bed sitting against the headboard. He pulls into his lap and you curl into him continuing to sob. He rubs slow soothing circles on your back and gently rocks you back and forth.

You ended up crying yourself to sleep. Cassian tucked you in laying next to you. He lightly held your fingers he watched you sleep. He let out a sigh of relief knowing your mind had a break for a few hours.

Cassian always felt guilty when you got like this. He felt like a failure for missing all of the signs you were falling into a depression. He liked that he was the person you could go to, so why didn’t you come to him for help this time?

You jolted awake the next morning. Rubbing at your puffy eyes you scanned the room for Cassian. Before you could go look for him the door opened and he padded in holding two steaming mugs of tea. “Good morning princess.” He shot you small smile that you tried to return.

“Morning.” He handed you a mug, kissing your forehead. You take it with both hands letting the it warm your frozen fingers. That’s when you noticed the curtains billowing in the morning breeze. “I opened the window last night. You woke up and said you felt like you couldn’t breathe, so I wanted to let some fresh air in.”

You gave Cassian a sad smile. “Thank you.” He sat on top of the covers next to you, his wings trying to relax behind him. You could tell he wanted to talk. “Go ahead Cass. It’s ok, ask me.” You lay a reassuring hand on his knee and he takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see the signs. And I want you to know that I’m always here for you. You can come to me with these things y/n, please.” Cassians voice breaks a little. You shed a few tears as you curl up in his lap again.

You hugged Cassian tight tucking your face in his neck. “I promise I’ll ask for help next time.” He relaxes and kisses the side of your head. “Good, you’re not alone y/n. I’m here for you my love.”

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane @aroseinvelaris @twsssmlmaa

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar reader imagine #acotar reader fic #acotar imagine #cassian acosf #cassian fanfic #cassian acotar #cassian acotar x reader #cassian angst #cassian x you #cassian imagine #cassian x reader

[wishingicouldfly]

Why I Believe Larry Is Real

It’s been a long time since I’ve done one of my opinion essays. This week I was asked to justify my belief that Larry is real, and that Harry and Louis are together. It feels like it’s time. 

::cracks knuckles::

I’ve thought about how to reply to the demand, which came from someone on X (formerly Twitter). I cannot compel someone who isn’t inclined to believe in Larry to suddenly change their mind. If someone doesn’t want to interpret the signs the same way I do, that’s their prerogative. But that said, I decided to give some thought about how to answer the question. 

I’ve been inspired by IndiaAlphaWhiskey and her recent reply to a similar question. I loved the way she answered by talking about long term love and how it’s steady and doesn't need to have a lot of fireworks visible from the outside. It’s hard to put that into words that make sense to someone who hasn’t witnessed it. Here’s her original reply:

The reality is we do not have solid proof that they were or - as I believe - still are in a relationship. Nor should we. H&L are closeted celebrities who keep their private life private. They are closeted, so you won’t see them admitting to being in a relationship in interviews; that would defeat the point of being closeted. In fact, you may think you’ve heard them outright deny being together. Again, if you’re not looking at the clues, and you only want to take this at face value, you’re not going to see any other possible narrative. Full stop. If that’s the case, you’re not going to agree with me, and that’s fine.

If you really want to go down a rabbit hole, my friend @bkatie617 keeps a running spreadsheet on perceived coincidences in the current era. 

https://x.com/BKatie617/status/1739715223244742755?s=20

I can list out a hundred things that, to me, are coded messages H&L have signaled to either us or to each other. You can debunk/deny/laugh-out-loud at all of them, if you want. You might call something coincidence or debunk one or more of these pieces. And yes, there are things out there that aren’t true, that are completely coincidence or debatable – or wildly unbelievable.

I get that. In fact, I have a whole thread of debunks on my Twitter bio. My debunk thread focuses on factual, hard-proof debunks to help veterans and newcomers keep the story straight.

https://x.com/Rosann_1986/status/1670101749267406848?s=20

But there are a hundred more things that are real. Or at least open to interpretation. At some point, it becomes really, really unlikely that everything is a coincidence over the last decade, and you have to admit that H&L are in collaboration with their messaging. For me, once you admit they are in collaboration in their messaging, it doesn’t take a huge leap to believe they are together romantically. Why else would their teams coordinate messaging to the media and the masses?

Harry even said, in 2022, “There’s not many [clues and tidbits] that get left behind. Most of the time, they usually pick up on pretty much everything, along with a couple of hilarious coincidences that were never meant to be, never meant to be kind of clues in the first place that happen… end up being clues.”

Source: Harry Styles talks to the Morning Mash Up about his new single, 'As It Was', Coachella, and more (siriusxm.ca)

You don’t have to believe any of it. I’m fine with that. But because you don’t believe it, doesn’t mean I’m not completely, unwavering, solidly adamant in my own belief that it’s real. Especially if you’re not providing any evidence to sway my beliefs.

Here’s what I think: I think Harry and Louis met and fell in love during X-Factor in 2010, began dating, and continued to fall while on the X-Factor tour and the recording of the first single and album. I believe they made it official in 2011. Over the years, they went through hard times through career changes, loss of family members, solo career ups and downs, differences in career trajectory, doubts and fears, and then the pandemic. I believe they weathered all that and are together and committed to this day. 

I think they live a private life and have no intention of coming out or going public any time soon. Harry said to Rolling Stone last year that he hasn’t publicly “been with anyone.” I also think, even though they are determined to stay private, they like the idea of some fans knowing and supporting them. Seeing their true, authentic selves. So, they’ve gotten good at messaging their truth to fans who want to see it and support it. 

Due to industry pressure and 'image' clauses in their contract, I think they were encouraged by record execs and management to keep their relationship quiet, but rebelled (as teenagers, young adults, and fools in love will do) by insinuating double meanings in interviews and signaling to those in the know ever since. 

I think the signaling started in One Direction days when fans began to pick up on the signs they gave each other - the secret looks, the thumbs up, their complementary tattoos. 

When they saw fans remaining loyal, despite the idea they might be gay/queer and together, the signals turned more outward and louder, with Harry’s blue bandana, lyrics, the rainbow bears, and more. I think it continues today with graphic t-shirts, even more lyrics, matching merch, intentional mirroring in stage lighting and costumes, and more. 

Evidence Larry are together Now

Understand that there’s no solid “proof” that H&L are together now. So, if that’s what you’re here looking for, you won’t find it. They are closeted still, both portraying a heterosexual narrative in the media.

My lens (admittedly biased) is that they are together and hint to us, but that most of what they do these days is for each other. Little inside jokes from across the world or across the room to show they are together. Despite them being separated for work a lot, I believe these little nods to each other helps keep their connection healthy and strong across the time apart.

What follows is a small sampling of what I think is intentional messaging from H&L, meant to suggest to those following that they are still together. Nothing is a proof. Nothing by itself is anything more than coincidence. But taken together, these along with other examples, show two men who are speaking through their actions, in my humble opinion.

They have strikingly similar patterns in their merch for FITF and HSLOT. 

Harry’s merch looks like it would be comfortable at Louis’ show.

Harry drew H and L on his trainers on May 10, 2022 on a pap walk in Italy. 

Both Harry and Louis used some of the same songs for their pre- and post-show playlists. https://www.tumblr.com/bluewinnerangel/702446259292831744/do-you-see-any-commonalities-between-harry-and

They both had really intentional blue/green stage lights at their shows. For anyone who doesn’t know, blue and green were their respective assigned colors when they were in One Direction. Certainly not a proof on its own but coupled with other things adds to the intentionality.

Complementary stage outfits. See this whole thread by @grete418 on X. It’s tongue in cheek, but it demonstrates what I mean about outfits matching/complementing each other. https://twitter.com/Grete418/status/1536453046611369989

Harry dressed as Danny Zuko at Harryween 2022 (coincidentally, Louis’ one and only lead role in a high school musical). https://twitter.com/UpdateHLD/status/1587297649572585473

Louis namechecked his unreleased song “All Along” in September 2022 (here at about 5:20), which strongly references Harry and a concert they attended together.. https://youtu.be/D9NjoMuz5-s?si=eRB-FwLI9JveMK3N

Louis wearing his 'dancing man' top when the 'dancing Harry' figure is so well known.

Similar visual themes like this. Same assignment, different execution. (Harry’s House/Silver Tongues):

Louis’ new tattoos (2023) appear to be images already seen on Harry’s journal cover and eye motif from HSLOT, plus they add to the existing traditional nautical motif they share. 

T-shirt in Music Video for Music for a Sushi Restaurant reading LT Seniors. 

Louis used fan images of Harry’s tattoos as Spotify cover art in February 2021.

Lyrics that seem to respond to each other, and/or have similar themes

Louis wears a rose (like Harry’s tattoo) on his shirt on 6/26/23…next night Harry wears a very phallic shaped rocket ship that looks a lot like Louis’ dagger tattoo. Seems like a call and response.

Louis singing 7 by Catfish and the Bottlemen, on both his tours. The song begins, “Larry call a load of smoke in…”

So there you have it. I could obviously go on for quite a bit, with many more examples, but I think this is a pretty good sampling. If you’d like to know more, or talk about it, feel free to DM me here or on X (@Rosann_1986). I don’t do this to try to change anyone’s mind. If you don’t believe they are doing these things intentionally, and aren’t curious or approaching this with an open mind, nothing I say will change that for you. 

If you’re new here and you’d like to learn more, there are a lot of places to find master posts. Understand that you have to take everything with a grain of salt and come to your own conclusions. Here are a few places to start:

(2) Be a lover. Give love. Choose love. on Tumblr

It’s a beautiful war 🌈 (tumblr.com)

Great lyric analysis here: it's subjective - My song analyses Last edited December 22nd 2022,... (tumblr.com)

#larries #harry styles #louis tomlinson #why I think they are together #they are married #they love each other #closeted #they never broke up

[69dias]

(same anon tbat asked for wedding fl couple)

can we get a Drabble with them married and maybe trying for kids 😭 sorry I’m feening for it i love them so much

hi babyyyy thank you so much for loving silver lining so much I’m gonna Kiss u!!!!! here’s ur drabble <3

warnings: breeding kink!!! that’s about it. mention of pregnancy obv and oc being . disgustingly in love.

wc: 836

jungkook had, even throughout your 17 years of friendship, never been the proactive one between you two. he preferred to sit back, to let you make the big decisions, having come to the very accurate conclusion that you were simply better at evaluating your choices and making the correct one eventually. he’d let you ask to kiss him first, let you be the one who made the first instagram post after the two of you started to date, and the only anomaly in this trend of him not taking initiative would be when he’d proposed to you. you’d signed the papers for your home first, you’d picked out the interior — the bottom line is that he’d always been in love, a bit pussy whipped and a bit too quick to leave your (and for the last couple of years, his) fate in your hands.

which is why his sudden inclination towards having children had surprised you.

you’d always known that getting married, coupled with the insane amount of times the two of you had sex would inevitably lead to a child, but the thought was nothing more than a musing you’d let your mind wander off to on those rare sunday mornings you woke up before him, listening to his soft snores and thinking of a child — person who would serve as tangible proof of jungkook and your union — in the mix of things.

and it would’ve been fine if he brought it up to you even a tad more formally than he’d chosen to, because the way he was fucking into you made it impossibly hard to think rationally about your future. not that you were complaining, because it was jungkook and he was your husband and the love of your entire life and even if the way he’d ever groaned it into your ears had made your stomach churn with a spark of fear, he was breathtaking.

breathtaking when he at holding your thighs in his tattooed hand, the ring he swore to never take off imprinting into your skin as a way for him to reiterate that you were his, his, his for the rest of your lives, even if the metal’s indent would take days to fully fade. breathtaking in his languid thrusts into you, so deep that it made it physically difficult to breathe, even if you’d done this countless times. breathtaking, in the way he’d leaned over your bodies and caught you completely off guard when he’d slipped in impossibly deeper, pelvis grinding against your clit, free hand reaching to intertwine the both of yours’.

breathtaking, in the way he’d moaned lowly, damp hair brushing against the skin of your cheek and spoke so gently that you barely registered the weight of his words until they settled and wrapped around your skin, consuming you momentarily:

“f-fuck darling, so good for me, yeah? gonna let me fill you up? all the way up to your womb, too. gonna let you give me my babies, yeah?”

your head had snapped to the side, trying to figure out a response because you could feel every ridge of his cock inside you, practically spearing you in half, and it’d taken half a minute of your pathetic moans resounding in the room, jungkook choosing not to continue with his slurred stupor, focusing on pushing you over the edge you were so tantalizingly close to —

“jungkook, jungkook, give me everything — ah, fuck that’s good, right there — give me your babies, cmon jungkook fill me up, gimme a baby.”

and sure, it was the scariest thing in the world to vocalize it. sure, the reality of how things were changing; how you and him were married and were going to probably begin trying to bring a whole person into this world, how you were so unprepared but so ready, all of it settled deep into the tresses of your stomach for just a minute, but when he halted inside of you to pull back and look at you, you decided that the fear was nothing if you had him.

you had him, and you had his doe eyes that fucking twinkled when you reaffirmed his words. you had him, and you had his slow, boyish smirk that was just a bit lopsided when it spread across his face. you had him, and you were going to try to have a baby with him, and shit, it felt incredible when he resumed fucking into you, but not just because of his taut thighs making good work of themselves, but because he held your hand a little tighter, when his ring dug into your skin a little harder.

you had him, and hopefully, you would have a baby soon. so when you pulled your hand from his to place it against his cheek, letting the glint of the diamond ring shine against his honey skin, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about a damned formal discussion because jungkook had only ever initiated your marriage before this, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no to him. maybe you were pussy dick whipped.

#jungkook #jungkook drabbles #jungkook smut #bts #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook/reader

[spookiifi]

Tumblr is being stubborn with me, so I have a screenshot of @the-rocket-scientist​ ‘s ask. This can also be accessed on ao3 here! 

Hiiiii!!! I had a lot of fun writing this <3

Hi kids! Do you like violence? Because this story is filled with it <3

I haven’t taken a single anatomy class when I was in high school/college so I apologize for any inaccuracies. This fic gets a bit bloody. For those that are squeamish I’d recommend reading something else.

You were the only human that had the guts to deal with Lucifer’s work. But he never turned, nor experimented on you. He never gave an explanation why.

You considered yourself a secretary of sorts, despite not having a front desk. You and the rest of the alternates’ work was highly confidential. A literal stack of papers had to be signed before you actually became his assistant. It felt like you were selling your soul to the company.

“Refusal to sign these forms or rejection will result in fatal consequences. Do you wish to proceed?”

Lucifer was so forward sometimes. Cold, yet organized in his work.

“…Yes?”

So why were you falling for this bastard of a scientist?

Your objective tonight was accompanying him during an autopsy. One of the human’s hearts filled with black blood mid transformation, sealing off the airways. This was both new and interesting to the rest of the lab. It would be studied greatly and a huge opportunity for larger discoveries.

“Bonesaw.” Lucifer held out his gloved hand, his eyes focused on the open corpse in front of him.

Clean instruments made for surgery were aligned on a tray between the two of you. Some looked as if they arrived straight from an operating room, while the rest mimicked torture devices from horror movies.

You didn’t hesitate on giving Lucifer the bonesaw. In the past, you watched him curl his hands around a ribcage and tear it open. The aftermath that day was…brutal to watch. Those plain white walls were splattered with blood. At least you weren’t the one chosen to clean it up.

Thank…someone for goggles and protective gear. OSHA?

“Tell me, what do you notice about this human’s lungs?” Lucifer turned towards you after successfully slicing through the ribs. You couldn’t tell how he was feeling through the protective mask covering his face.

The morgue was cramped with shelves, and there was little space to stand. The room was only meant for two or three people at a time.

Failed body parts were preserved in unknown substances, while a skeleton hung on display in the corner. You hoped it was made of plaster, but that intelligent mind of yours told you it was real.

The smell was the worst, taking a full week to get used to. You knew behind those freezer doors; other bodies lay motionless inside with tags on their ankles. In all honesty, they were the lucky ones.

Lucifer’s entire being was distracting if you were straight up truthful.

You wondered if he knew about your feelings towards him.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The corpse, my dear assistant. What’s different?” Lucifer knew the answer, but he wanted you to figure it out. “We should practice on concentration next time.”

How in the hell were you supposed to focus when this fine of a mad doctor was staring you down?

You paused for a moment. “The lungs are dry, and the heart bleeds black instead of blue.”

He seemed satisfied. “Very good. Now hand me that seraded knife.”

Now was your chance. “So…I’ve been thinking. We’ve been working overtime the past week.” You said as you inspected his tools.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at you as he carefully cut around the ventricles. “Yes? And?”

“Maybe we could spend one night off? Six and the rest of the alternates have this place on lockdown. We don’t even have to leave.” You shrugged as he placed the organ in a biohazard proof bag.

Lucifer stopped. “We spend time with each other every day. You are my assistant after all.”

You grit your teeth, trying to hold back the frustration in your voice. “I mean the other kind of time.”

He seemed to be catching on. “…I’m busy. Now, hand me the syringe. We need to dispose of-“

Fuck it.

“Busy with what?! Every other failed experiment that sits in this damn facility?!”

Lucifer dropped the threaded needle on the tray. He tore off the mask with one hand. “Our current subject is missing! Do you care at all about your career?! Did you even READ the forms you signed?!”

“Lucifer I didn’t mean-“

His face heated up. “We’re so close to reaching a perfect alternate! And you want to quit now?!”

Your eyes widened. Lucifer never yelled at you. Tear droplets formed in the corners of your eyes, and he realized his mistake.

“Oh, no…no please.”

You choked down a sob and turned away, not wanting him to see you like this. “Forget I asked. It’s nothing.” Quickly, you removed your gear and made a beeline for the door.

“Wait!”

“Goodnight, Lucifer. Until tomorrow.” You didn’t look back as you swiped your key card.

After a much-needed shower, you changed into comfy clothes and spent the rest of your night in your room. It was paid for by the Mandela Facility, resembling a college dorm so you were closer to work.

You missed your chance alright…It was a stupid idea in the first place. A bad decis-

Someone knocking at your door distracted you from your thoughts. The first sounded heavy, then grew softer.

“If Lucifer sent you, I’d rather-“

Until you heard a voice call your name.

“Please talk to me.”

You opened your door to find your boss standing in the hall. He wore the same outfit from earlier, besides any medical gear.

“Did I wake you?” Lucifer said, shifting awkwardly when you glared at him. “…Don’t answer that.”

You sighed. “Come in, and close the door behind you.” An uncomfortable silence filled the room as he followed you inside.

Getting comfy on your couch, he sat across from you. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I mean it! And maybe you’re right. We have been working overtime. I’m just…stressed.”

Your eyes narrowed. Was he showing weakness towards you? “Maybe, or I am right? Those are two huge differences, Lucifer.”

He sighed. “Yes, you are. Without the asset, we could lose so much- I mean-” He stopped when you glared daggers at him. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t know I meant so much to you.”

You nearly dropped your drink at that last part. “Say that again.”

“I didn’t know I meant so much to you?”

This made you grin. “I forgive you, on one occasion.” This seemed to intrigue him. “We get to leave early tomorrow.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Fine, my little assistant. Do you prefer red or white wine?”

#gabriel x reader #alt gabriel x reader #tmc au #the-rocket-scientist #my fics

[lesbianlotties]

hand-holding prompt 49 & taivan? :0

49. taking the other's hand to look for injuries Touches Writing Prompts (send me something!)

“Will you let me look now?” Taissa asked Van as soon as they were both alone in the attic of the cabin.

“Damn, Tai. You couldn’t wait to get me alone, huh?” Van laughed. She was taking off one of the many layers they all had to wear to be outside lately, and added a little dance, a playful shimmy of her shoulders as she added, “What do you want to see, you want a show?”

Taissa wasn’t strong enough to fight off a fleeting smile, she could give Van that much. But then sobered up quickly enough, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Van,” she said in a tone that was clearly a warning.

“Tai,” Van sighed, but it wasn’t as playful as it could’ve been.

She sounded tired. They all were tired lately. But just earlier that day Van was still capable of keeping up her good mood that separated from the rest. She simply didn’t want to talk about that subject. Not that Taissa loved it herself but it was necessary. 

“Come on,” Taissa said, trying to turn her tone at least a little softer, anything to bring Van closer to her. “Just let me take a look, alright?”

“Just a look,” Van repeated. Some mirth was back in her tone, thankfully. She knew as well as Taissa that it wouldn’t be “just a look.”

Van took her time walking toward her, and Taissa didn’t make things easier, helping her close the distance, until Van was close enough for Taissa to extend her arm and reach out for Van’s hand. The redhead tensed, and tensed even more for the reaction of her body, which disregarded the firm knowledge in her mind that Taissa would never hurt her. True to Van’s thoughts, when Taissa held Van’s hand in hers, she couldn’t have possibly been more gentle, more careful with her. Naturally, it pulled a blush from Van’s cheeks.

“We have to do something about this, Van,” Taissa said, looking down at the angry red mark surrounding Van’s wrist where the rope they both wore at night pulled and scratched at her skin for hours.

“I told you, it’s fine,” Van said, serious enough to hope against hope to convince Taissa, and with an added smile to hope to at least distract her away from the subject again. “I’m not letting you go. This is no big deal, okay?”

“It is,” Taissa said.

She sounded as focused and determined as usual, but there was just an added softness to her tone. It was even more noticeable when combined with the extreme tenderness she was using to caress the sensitive skin on Van’s wrist. Van almost winced with the first touch, but she relaxed, instantly softened under Taissa’s touch.

The silence made Taissa look up at Van, and she was pleasantly surprised to see Van still looking down at their hands. The lack of more arguing was a good sign. Taissa took it as a victory. And, as it often happened, a wave of affection for the other girl made her feel suddenly more optimistic than she was five minutes ago.

“We’ll figure something out,” Taissa said, wholeheartedly believing her own words and smiling when Van met her eyes again. 

Taissa felt tempted to lean down and place the most delicate of kisses on the scratch on Van’s wrist, pressing her lips to a physical proof of Van’s love for her. She didn’t though, not in that moment, when she felt a lump in her throat, warmth in her cheeks, and a suspicion that Van would end up laughing. Later though. Maybe when they were getting ready to fall asleep, and Van was helping her tie the rope to their wrists. Or when they were cuddled together, defenses forgotten and no words needed. Perhaps even later, after Van woke her up before Taissa could sleep walk away from her.

#taivan i love you i miss you i tried my best #thank you so much for asking!! #please everyone feel encouraged to send more hgsjdfhgjhf #answered #anon #taivan #yellowjackets #my fic

[thethistlegirlwrites]

We're seeing a bit more of Sierra's family in today's post...

Sierra pulls a water bottle from her backpack. The sun is still hours from going down, which means it’s still the humans’ responsibility to hold the line here. They’ll cede it to the vampires after sunset. 

She and Pete almost have enough proof to connect this research clinic’s owners to the financing of at least three vampire hate groups that have caused the deaths of over fifty LA vampires. But it’s their words everyone here is most concerned about. They’re pushing for across the board euthanasia (and subsequent staking) for infected patients who have what is considered a fatal diagnosis. They argue that it will prevent future vampires from dying on their own and being buried to turn. 

What it will really do is mean anyone with vampire venom in their veins is at risk of being killed as a potential future threat. 

A leaflet from the counter-protesters blows across the sidewalk, and Sierra glances down at it, then flinches. Bold type across the top reads THE ONLY 100 PERCENT EFFECTIVE CURE FOR VAMPIRISM: THE STAKE.

Up until a couple years ago, the clinic had hidden their real agenda under the guise of researching treatment options for bite victims. But they’ve found enough public sentiment in support of their scorched earth policies that the gloves are off and their true nature is out in the open. And unfortunately, there are plenty of bitter, angry, or just plain scared people who are willing to back it.

Sierra understands. She’s been there. She’s done worse than most of the people standing across from her now. But that doesn’t excuse her, or them. 

Her arm still aches from the fall she took last week, but she’s still waving her hand-painted sign along with the rest of them. 

Un-lives are not yours to take!

Someone steps out of the crowd of counter-protesters. She recognizes him. A hunter who didn’t make it through the same incoming training class she was part of. Ironically, he washed out for freezing up in training simulations. All talk, no action. You’re scared. And scared people are the most dangerous. “They’ll take ours. Why shouldn’t we defend ourselves?”

“Not all of them feed on humans. Even less of them kill their hosts.” Pete has statistics to back her up. He cited them to her to defend Shay when they were at each other’s throats. Almost literally. 

She steps out of line, across to meet the guy where he’s also moving forward, into the no-man’s-land of scattered leaflets and scraps of trash. She can’t help but remember the fae rights protests she’s seen, and how utterly nonsensical it seemed to her that half the people on the fae’s side were letting granola wrappers and empty plastic water bottles scatter around the protest sites. 

“Jason, you know all that. I was with you in the same classes. We heard the same things. You just chose not to listen.”

“I hear you’re shacking up with one of them bloodsuckers now.” It stings more than it should. She knew what she was getting into, agreeing to let Shane share her apartment. Even some of her ‘friends’ at the agency (not that she had a lot to begin with), think she’s making a huge mistake. And they’ve told her, to her face. Which is at least better than what she’s heard behind her back.

She doesn’t really care what her coworkers think. It’s her family’s concern that was harder to swallow. But even so, this guy’s opinion matters even less. 

“Thanks to people like you, he doesn’t have a lot of options.”

“Fine, you want to bleed, bleed.”

Sierra doesn’t have time to process what that means before Pete shouts.

“Watch out!”

She’s on her hands and knees on the gritty sidewalk before she knows what hit her. Pete hits the ground next to her, and the first thing she registers, like any field hunter, is the blood. 

“Pete?”

“I’m alright.” He holds up his hand, a deep gash across the palm. “His buddy had a broken bottle.”

Sierra curses herself for losing her sense of what’s happening around her. She’d gotten too focused on the argument happening in front of her and forgotten to check her peripheral. “Sorry.”

“For what? He was going to swing that at someone. You think that’s the first time someone’s tried that with me?” Sometimes Sierra forgets his grandparents owned a distillery and bar. “I can clock someone with a bottle like that before they even start a swing.”

“Thanks.” Sierra pulls her backpack off her shoulders, digging through it. “I’ve got a first aid kit. Let me see.”

“You came prepared,” Pete says as she pulls out the civilian equivalent of one of their trauma kits.

“My little sister Valeria went to every fae rights protest she could find when she was in high school.” Sierra shrugs. “After the second time she came home needing an ice pack, I went with her.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister.” 

Sierra shrugs. “She’s…we haven’t really seen each other in a long time. We’re step-siblings. Different dads.” She doesn’t mention that Val’s was the leader of a blood harvesting ring who split when the agency closed in. They’re still looking for him, although by this point, he’s probably become a victim of his own profession. 

"We were both the problem kids, she’s just the one who got caught the most. She got picked up for shoplifting on the same day as one of the protests got crazy, and they had her in a holding cell with a couple of the fae who weren’t registered. By the time Mom got there to bail her out, she had her cause. She was always looking for a fight, she just needed something to fight for."

It wasn’t that Sierra hadn't thought it was a fight worth having. She just didn’t see how shouting in the street got anything done. She’d always favored a little more hands-on approach to making change. But here she is, at a protest, with a sign and scraped knees and a backpack full of water and first aid supplies. Val would be proud.

"Where is she now?" Pete asks, wincing as Sierra dabs antiseptic onto the gash. 

"Living with a fae colony in north Texas."

“Wow.”

“Yeah. She made some powerful enemies. But she made some good friends too. When the heat started coming down, the fae took her in.” Sierra shrugs. “She cut ties then. For everyone’s safety. If we didn’t know where she was, we couldn’t be expected to tell anyone. And we couldn’t accidentally give away the colony’s location.”

“Do you miss her?”

Sierra looks down at the bandage as she tucks the end of it into place, securing it around Pete’s hand. “Every day.”

You can read this story and more from this 'verse on my WorldAnvil here!

@catwingsathena @nade2308 @whumptober

#whumptober 2023 #no.22 #glass shard #'watch out' #original characters #pete jemison #sierra aguirre-stoker

[shsy7573]

We’re in This Together - Ch. 13

For more info or chapter index, see overview post

Alright folks, we made it to the end! This is the final chapter of WITT, and I’m happy to be posting it (I say as if I haven’t been spam posting all of these chapters over the last hour). I hope you enjoyed the story, and if you have any questions or feedback, feel free to leave a comment! This was such a blast to write from start to end, and even tho there were times where I had no clue how to continue the story, I pushed through and am now delighted to share it w/ all of u.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own own Voyager or any of the characters in this fic (except for the aliens. Those were my creation.)

*This story is not beta-read and has not been edited or proof-read in any way! This was just something I threw together over the past three days and decided to post as my first entry on this site!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

A faint noise tugged at the back of her mind as Janeway swam through the darkness. At first, it was just a light buzzing. Barely audible and easy to ignore. But, as she floated there, her mind stuck between one state of being and the other, she was aware of the sound slowly growing louder. The buzz was amplified to a wave of static, and then as she sat even longer, it grew into the muffled sound of voices.

As she focused on the sound, she began to become aware of her other senses too. She could feel the light pressure of something soft pressing against her back and legs. Her nose began to pick up on the scents around her. There was a metallic smell, coupled with the indistinguishable aroma of several people.

Then, finally, audio in her head cleared up enough for her to hear a single word.

“Kathryn.”

Her name.

Her eyelids twitched as more words began to appear in her head. It was difficult for her to surf through the fog, and figure out what was being said, but she tried her best.

“Kathryn. Can you hear me?”

A small, barely audible noise escaped her throat. There wasn’t any nuance to it, just a sound. But it was enough.

“Kathryn, it’s Chakotay. Do you understand me?”

Janeway squeezed her eyes tight for a moment. As her brain adjusted to all the things her senses were picking up, she felt the deep lull of a headache beginning to form in the back of her mind.

The pain, so familiar if not less severe, was what made her remember.

Her eyes flew open, and she shot up upright from where she’d been lying down. Her heart hammered in her chest as she looked around. Scanning the room for any signs of the Arachnomen. As she did so, however, she became aware of the fact that Lieutenant Torres was nowhere in sight.

The Doctor came over, and both he and Chakotay started fighting desperately to force her back into the bed.

“Captain, please lie down! You’re fine!” The Doctor ordered, but she barely heard him.

“It’s alright, Kathryn, you’re safe! Everything’s fine!”

“Where’s B’Elanna?!” She gasped out, looking around the room again frantically.

“She’s—“ whatever the Doctor was going to say was cut off by the sound of Sick Bay’s doors opening. Standing on the other side of those doors, was Voyager’s Chief Engineer.

In an instant, B’Elanna took in the scene, and raced towards the biobed. “Captain!” She exclaimed, feelings of relief overwhelmed both of them as she engulfed Janeway in her arms. 

Kathryn hugged back, finally calming down now that the girl was in her arms. She was safe, she was alive. She was here, and they were together.

As her body finally relaxed, she was aware of the Doctor continuing his sentence beside them. “She’s fine.”

The Captain embraced her Lieutenant for another minute longer, running her arms in circles across the woman’s back. Her brain began to slow down as she did so, and she began to remember a little more about the caverns. She’d been lying in B’Elanna’s lap, holding her hand, and listening to her talk on and off about whatever came to mind. Then… then…

She couldn’t remember anything after that.

Reluctantly, Janeway pulled away, her face etched with confusion as she met the eyes of the people around her.

“What happened?”

Nobody really knew how to respond to that at first. Mainly because they weren’t quite sure how much they had to explain. So, Kathryn elaborated, “I was in the cave with B’Elanna, lying down, but I don’t remember anything after that.”

The engineer’s facial expression dropped. Sorrow coated her expression as she sat down next to Janeway in the bed. She held out her hand, and Kathryn took it gratefully.

“You stopped breathing. Your heart… stopped beating.”

The Captain was silent, taking a moment to process the information. She was able to fill in the unsaid blanks pretty quickly.

“I died?”

“In a medical sense, yes.” The Doctor provided, making sure to keep his tone gentle. “You were dead for almost ten minutes by the time you were beamed to sick bay.”

Kathryn nodded, but she could tell by their expressions there was more to the story. “What else happened… after I died.”

“A group of aliens attacked us.” B’Elanna explained, pressing closer to the Captain to remind herself she was there. “At first I was angry… really angry. I tried to fight them all but… there were just too many. So, at the first opening I could get, I picked you up and ran.”

The Lieutenant’s eyes clouded over as she remembered. Her sheer panic as she booked it down the tunnel, and the moment of despair when she came upon the ledge. Dozens of hands grabbing at her as she clawed desperately to reach the top of the incline.

“I almost didn’t make it… we almost didn’t make it.”

Chakotay decided that was the time for him to take over. “Voyager arrived just in time to beam you both to sick bay.”

“I was able to tend to Lieutenant Torres quite quickly. Although her injuries were numerous, and quite severe, they were nothing I hadn’t seen before. You, on the other hand…” the Doctor explained, trailing off as he looked at Janeway.

The Captain could only imagine. She had been infected by an unknown venom agent with an unknown way of treating it. Her heart had already stopped beating. It was a miracle whatever the Doctor did she worked at all.

She held up her hand, “you don’t… have to get into the details.”

He nodded, and she watched him walk away to grab a medical tricorder. Meanwhile Chakotay continued talking. “You gave all of us quite the scare. Especially B’Elanna. I had to threaten to call security on her just so she’d leave your bedside to rest. You two must have been through… quite a lot down there.”

The Captain and her Chief Engineer exchanged a glance. 

“We did.”

Chakotay stepped out of the way as the Doctor returned. “Well, I’ll leave you guys in peace. With the Captain on bed rest, I’ve got a ship to run. The crew will be happy to know you’re awake.” He turned around, but stopped just as he reached the bay doors. After a moment, he turned around again fondly, “they’re all be… very eager to see you.”

With that, the Commander exited Sidk Bay.

Kathryn turned her attention back to the Doctor. “How long was I… out of commission?”

“Five days.”

“Five days?!” Kathryn exclaimed.

“Here we go,” B’Elanna muttered, knowing full well that Janeway was about to become an extremely difficult patient.

“After a full week of being gone?! That’s way too long for a Captain to be out of service! I’ve gotta get back on top of things?!”

“What you need,” the Doctor insisted, giving the Captain a stern look, “is to rest. By order of your Chief Medical Officer, you are not to do any sort of work until I say you’re feeling better. Even though it’s been five days, your body’s going to take a while to recover from the effect of the venom.”

As he was talking, Janeway could tell what he meant. Her limbs felt heavy, and her eyes threatened to close on her. She was exhausted, and she could feel a small ache making itself known in her affected shoulder.

Kathryn sighed. She knew he was right. She just didn’t like being away for that long.

“The crew has your back, Captain. Everything’s going to be fine. Besides, not a lot has happened since you’ve been away. The locals refuse to let our ship go anywhere until they meet its Captain.” B’Elanna comforted, slowly lowering the Janeway back down onto the biobed.

She brushed her hand across Janeway’s forehead. She still had a mild fever, but for the first time in days, B’Elanna wasn’t concerned about it.

“Rest, Captain. Voyager will still be here when you’ve recovered.

And with one final smile sent towards her Chief Engineer, Kathryn closed her eyes, and let sleep take her.

Everything was going to be okay.

#star trek #star trek voyager #kathryn janeway #b’elanna torres #chakotay #the doctor #mild angst #fluff #happy ending #potential room for spin-off one shots or fics #But also just a nice conclusion to the story #These girls deserve a break #They get one #Bonding experience complete! #no beta we die like admiral janeway

[abbaswift]

hi. i was just looking through your blog and realised that you’re autistic. i suspect i might also be autistic, so i wonder how your diagnosis went. at the moment, it is not possible for me to get an official diagnosis (financial issues lol), so if it’s okay for you, what were some of the signs/symptoms you noticed?

hi anon! autism was first talked about when i was about eleven and i was diagnosed when i was fourteen

i don’t remember a lot about my diagnosis (i refused to even speak ha) or why autism was suspected so can’t help you much there unfortunately. i think the doctor asked my teachers and relatives and diagnosed me based on that

family and teachers became aware of my issues because i wasn’t attending school, and was well behaved at school but very avoidant (i have a demand avoidance profile), there were a lot of “quirky” childhood stories that in hindsight make sense, i was very exact and literal about things (like if people say something will take a minute, i’d count to sixty and get upset if it wasn’t exactly sixty seconds). i was very particular about grammar rules from a young age (….believe it or not….) and i hated change and eye-contact and didn’t understand social cues, typical autism stuff i guess

my autism definitely looks different as an adult (but i’m also in a lower stress environment so idk how that has affected it), as a child/teenager i had a lot of meltdowns and frequently felt like i was misunderstood and painted in a bad light for things that were out of my control. now i’m a lot happier, but the autism is still huge in my life (as it always will be). i don’t count to sixty anymore but still have that feeling of wishing people say what they mean.

the biggest issue i have is probably sensory overload, i just feel like i notice sounds in particular more than anyone else i know and it really affects me, i can’t concentrate if i can hear any little noise like the electric buzzing or clocks ticking. if i’m in a busy room chatting to people, i can’t tune out the extra noise so i really struggle to process what people are saying and everyone else seems to be managing fine?? whenever i socialise i feel like i need a day to prepare and a day to recover, it’s so draining. i also have a huge germ / food contamination phobia which is probably related

it’s not all bad, i promise (and it might be very different for you). personally i love applying my logical mind and seeing patterns others don’t, special interests can be great too (when i’m not supposed to be focusing on other things).

i do think that official diagnosis can be really helpful, even just to know you’re not making it up i guess? it’s quite validating. but obviously there are plenty of barriers to diagnosis like cost and time (especially for women and people of colour) and autism is there regardless of whether a doctor acknowledges it. i have a ten year old sister who is right now in the early stages of being referred for diagnosis, it might just be a uk issue but even with obvious traits and family history (me), it’s still taken a long time to get the referral, so i know for a fact how complicated getting diagnosed can be.

if potential autistic symptoms are really impacting your life, maybe your ability to work or learn, and you need proof of diagnosis to get accommodations or even just understanding from people around you, then yeah, get diagnosed when you can. otherwise, maybe just talk to people you trust about what you suspect if you haven’t already. sometimes it’s good to get another person’s point of view. i’ve found that even when the people i was close to weren’t too knowledgeable about autism, they could usually tell that i wasn’t neurotypical.

anyway, essay over. i wish you all the luck in the world with figuring it out and please don’t hesitate to send me another ask or a dm MWAH X

#god i do ramble on #thanks for asking!

[kiwisinlingerie]

Honey and Pomegranates

Pairing: Magie/Todger (OC/OC), past Nathan/Magpie    Warnings: Mentions of past unhealthy relationship  Contains: past relationships, emotional hurt/comfort, semi public sex, pegging, self worth issues Rating: M Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2  AU: N/A Word length: 3,042

Summary:

“You can't just kiss me when you look like this… Fuck…" Todger whines, eyes entirely focused on red stained lips, green eyes flicking up to meet brown doe eyes before she curses under her breath once more. "I just want to ruin how perfect you look." "It's sealed." "Huh?" "I can fix my hair easily and my makeup is sealed." Magpie states with amusement, watching the full range of emotions that go across Todger's face. "Sealed and you proof."

Big shout out to the folk on Twit who encouraged me to write and post these, esp @robynrileyart and @hurrraaid. Im constantly rambling about them over on twit so feel free to go bother me here

Because It’s undoubtedly gonna be brought up. I am aware that Todger is english slang for cock, its part of a joke as her partner in crime has the call sing tadger, the scottish equiv. 

[AO3]

---

This was an abuse of power. 

It's not the first time her father had pulled a stunt like this but it's the first time she'd been the denied the opportunity to tell him to fuck off by her superiors. The ability to throw your weight around shouldn't apply to other branches of the military yet here she was, an island in a sea of naval officers. 

She had been granted one relief, the same one she was always given. Allowed to bring one guest with her to suffer the night with her however her usual victim of mutual sufferage was busy. 

Occupied in the med ward, Dylan had protested he was fine enough to attend, that any spontaneous bleeding from the bullet wound would simply make the night more interesting. As his friend and nurse, she'd considered it momentarily before outright declining him. 

Magpie had asked Todger to join her in the end. 

Whilst she adored the giant Geordie, the demolitions expert had never crossed her mind for this. A level of decorum was expected at these events, something Magpie never expected from a woman whose call sign was slang for cock. 

But, as always, Todger proved her wrong. 

She'd been less bothered since arrival, Magpie usually swamped by those wanting to win her father's favour or utterly besotted by Dylan. But not this time. Everyone had more or less given her a wide berth when with her companion, waiting until the other departed for drinks to approach her and quickly excusing themselves whenever Todger returned. 

There were only two exceptions to the rule. 

The first was her father, Crow, who had enthusiastically introduced himself to Todger, asked of her rank and proceeded to laugh mirthfully as it was given. 

He hadn't shirked at Todger's proclamation of "i'm here with the most beautiful woman in the world," he'd just nodded in agreement and said she got that from her mother. 

It gave her hope, in a way, that things could be fixed between them. A strained relationship these past two decades, if his only discrepancy was forcing her to attend this celebration of him then it was progress. 

The other was Nathan. Charismatic and handsome, she'd once fallen for his charms years ago before things fell apart into utter catastrophe as she consistently failed to keep up with his expectations of her. 

"Miss Haigh." His voice sends a chill through her, not fighting it as Nathan takes her hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles, brushing his thumb across her knuckles in a way that would have been soothing from anyone else. "I see your guard dog wandered off, is that why you're so tense?" 

Yes. No. Partially. She circles her response in her head, knowing full well she'd be less tense if Todger was here but also that the cause was the man before her. 

"My companion is getting us drinks, she'll be back shortly." It's a subconscious thing, the way she softens her voice and accent, still striving to please him even after all these years. Her attempts to remove her hand from his only results in his grip tightening." Nathan, let-"

"It's not too late, you know, to live our lives as we planned." Nathan speaks against her skin, taking one step closer to her and placing his other hand on her waist. His hands aren't cold but she feels it, a numbness that blooms and spreads from where he's touching her. "You don't have to keep up with this silliness, these hands were never meant for bloodshed." 

He doesn't even know what you do, she thinks, frowning as he continued to gaze upon her with such faux fondness. Nathan loves an idea of her, one based off her as a teenager, that grew into something so far removed from the truth it was tragic in its existence. 

"I don't want that, I like helping pe-" 

She's interrupted by a laugh, another chill down her spine as the desperate need to run, to run and hide, begins to drown her. "You don't know what you want, my love, otherwise you'd never have run off and joined the army. Never have abandoned what we have." 

What we have?! They have nothing. They've been nothing since she was 25, when they'd argued over the phone and she'd ended it all. It's been 5 years. 5 years of freedom for her and he just saw it as something akin to misplaced confused rebellion? 

She feels queasy. Stomach churning wildly, panic swelling with the rapid beats of her heart. Where was Todger? Why hadn't she come back yet? Magpie wants to look for her but she doesn't trust the naval officer enough to take her eyes off him. 

Her saviour announces their presence with a hand on her lower back, so warm it eased off the effects of Nathan's touch. "Am I interrupting something, Captain?" Todger's voice eases the tension in her, the static of her mind telling her to run easing down to a comfortable, soothing silence. 

"Not at all, Sergeant." Magpie slips out of Nathan's hold as his grip momentarily slackens, pressing herself back into the taller woman as if it would hide her from him. "You were just leaving, weren't you, Nathan." 

"Of course." He's not happy, a tenseness in his jaw she recognises from when they dated and a placed smile that stretched a little too wide. "I'll be sure to find you later, Maggie, to continue this conversation." 

She doesn't relax until he's out of sight but, even then, Magpie is still on edge. What did he mean by that? There was no conversation to continue bar the one involving only his force of will attempting to manipulate his way back into her affections. 

The hand on her back moves, Magpie frowning, turning slightly to look up at Todger only to find the geordie looking somewhere to their right. She barely has chance to comprehend the missing contact before Todger takes her hand, strong and reassuring, gently leading her away from their spot and out of the hall. 

"Where are we… What…What happened to drinks?" She's never sounded this unsure of herself around Todger, has she? The way the dark haired woman pauses in her step to turn back to her, brows tilted with concern saying all it needs to. 

"They were all fancy shite and you looked like you needed a breather." Her voice is soft but it's all Magpie can hear, a subtle affection to it as Todger smiled warmly that serves no purpose bar to make Magpie's heart stutter. 

It's as they start moving again that Todger asks the question Magpie is almost certain she's been desperate to ask. "Who was that weirdo anyway?" 

"That was my ex, Nathan." She confesses as they leave the banquet hall, wincing as she collides with Todger's back, the sergeant having come to an unexpected stop. The incredulous look she's been given brings a grin to her lips. 

"Damn… No wonder you let Tadge hit it." The almost sage tone of her voice has the medic laughing lightly to herself, as if Todger finally understood the secrets of the universe all of a sudden. 

Music from the hall is near silent now, existing more as a low thrum in the background, the only people spotted fleetingly being members of staff who just nodded to them both like they knew something Magpie didn't. 

Their final destination is a bathroom, exhibiting near zero evidence of being used this night. Todger doesn't let her go until they're before pure counter space, taking off her hat and running a hand through her hair, choppy mullet springing back to its usual messy state under her hands. 

She really was a handsome woman. 

Magpie slides up onto the counter as Todger pats it, feeling a role reversal as she gently holds her face, leaning in as she inspected it. Like Nathan had physically laid his hands on her rather than simply unnerve her. 

It's endearing to say the least, the furrow of her brow, the gentleness of her touch as she gently manoeuvres her face. She can't help herself, Magpie closing the gap between them, deep red meeting scarred lips as she kissed her. 

They've fucked before, more often than the field nurse would freely admit. Trysts that grew more intimate, lasted much longer, the now a precursor to post coital cuddling that Magpie had long since grown affection for. 

So, this wasn't crossing a line, was it? 

Apparently not. The mirror is cold against her exposed shoulders as the force of Todger kissing her back hits her, hand weaving into Magpie's hair to prevent her head from hitting the mirror whilst the other slid up beneath her dress and gripped her upper right thigh. Tightly, almost desperately. 

"You can't just kiss me when you look like this… Fuck…" Todger whines, eyes entirely focused on red stained lips, green eyes flicking up to meet brown doe eyes before she curses under her breath once more. "I just want to ruin how perfect you look." 

"It's sealed." 

"Huh?" 

"I can fix my hair easily and my makeup is sealed." Magpie states with amusement, watching the full range of emotions that go across Todger's face. "Sealed and you proof." Confused. Considering. Conflicted and, finally, excitement in the face of her bold statement on her makeup's longevity.

Knees part further as she's kissed once more, Todger settling between them as she did it. It's passionate but slow, accompanied by hands gently mapping her body as they slowly stripped her. 

No urgency to it, the clasps keeping her dress around her neck barely audible as they're tugged apart, deep green dress falling limply around hips and thighs as the zip is pulled down. Hips rock up so the dress can be fully removed, leaving Magpie in naught but panties, lace topped stockings and heels. 

Todger removes her own jacket, rolling up her sleeves to the elbow and undoing the first few buttons. She swallows as Todger kneels between her thighs, eyes locking with Magpies until she pressed a kiss to nylon coated calves, hands gently easing off her shoes. 

Why was she flustered? She wasn't some bashful virgin, heels placed somewhere to the side before Todger began to trail kisses up her legs, from knee to hip, gentle in her ministrations, heart fluttering with each one. 

"Let me show you what love really feels like." Todger whispers, cupping her cheek and kissing her, slowly and deeply, a moan easing from her throat as Todger's other hand found their place on her chest, teasing sensitive flesh with a mix of gropes and pinches. 

Magpie's hands blindly fumble with both belt and fastenings, pulling away only as she felt something unexpected, dipping her eyes down to observe what she felt only to giggle as she saw the harness. 

"Dylan's idea, I was all for arson if things got too boring." Todger states with a laugh, answering the question Magpie had yet to fully form in her head. The toy, Magpie realises after Todger shimmies a little to make her trousers fall, is strapped to her thigh. 

"You're ridiculous, you know that right?" 

"I've been informed by others that it's charismatic and a point of interest." Todger laughs. "We don't have to use it though, it's just an option." 

Todger is ridiculous but she's also sweet. Not living up to her call sign at all, when was the last time a lover had been so low pressure, so conscious of her own wants and needs. She could get used to being put first, she thinks. 

"I want to."

"Take your panties off for me then, beautiful." 

She does as she's told, waiting until Todger had let go of her to slip off black lace and cotton, stuffing them into the breast pocket of Todger's shirt when the dark haired woman settled back between her legs.

They usually take more time to reach this point, Todger usually so dedicated to making her climax through foreplay alone but it was different today. Hands lift her thighs, tilting both them and her hips to gain better access. 

The gasp from her lips is extended, drawn out and broken, hands gripping both Todger's shoulder and edge of the counter as she pushes fully in, pelvis to pelvis.

"You can move." She breathes more than speaks, relaxing her grip on Todger's shoulder to further prove her point. 

The pace is slow to begin with, intimate and gentle, it's almost easy to forget they aren't back in the hotel they were staying in for the event, like there's no risk of being interrupted at any moment. Thighs clench around Todger's waist as the demolitions expert braces herself against the counter, Magpie's arms wrapping around broad shoulders as she buried her face into Todger's neck. 

It's all a bit too much. The juxtaposition of dealing with Nathan, a former lover obsessed with a version of her he created, versus Todger, versus Jade, who had no reason to be this tender with her. How… How was she so capable of being besotted with her when the only other person to love her like this was never in love with who she was to begin with. 

"Don't be shy, darling, I want to hear you." Todger encourages, pressing a kiss to light brown hair, fingers gripping into her dress shirt as she became more vocal as thrusts speed up. She's not normally shy about it, but this felt different. It didn't feel like just sex anymore, it felt more than that. 

"M-more, please. I need… I need you-fuck!" Magpie's plea finishes in a whine, a hard thrust having the medic's thighs tighten as teeth sunk into where shoulder met neck. It'll leave a mark, she knows that, anyone could tell from both the pressure of her teeth and the sharp hiss Todger gave. 

"Please, Jade, p-please I want to… I'm gonna…"

She orgasms, tensing before relaxing against Todger, steadily calming breaths fanning out against lipstick and bruised stained skin. 

"That's my girl." Todger hums, rubbing Magpie's back as she pulled out, hands moving to cradle her face before kissing her softly. "Let's get you cleaned up, shall we?" 

She's confused, emotionally at least, watching as Jade cleaned her up, any words spoken falling on deaf ears whilst brief kisses between tasks were shared. She doesn't want this to end, this intimacy, this feeling she can't quite place yet, opening her mouth uselessly to try and convey it all only to close it again moments later. 

"You should wear this sort of thing more often, it's really pretty." Todger states, holding up her dress post clean up, the taller woman having taken bare five minutes to clean and redress herself, the only evidence of what they had done being the blooming love bite on her neck that was barely hidden, if at all, by the open collar. 

"Aye, catch me wearing heels and a dress on the frontlines." Magpie states, biting back a laugh but not a smile at the sour look on the others face. "Nothing says urgent medical care like a bitch looking like a wedding guest." 

"I meant out of work and you know it." Todger grumbles, offering her hand to Magpie as the smaller woman slid off the counter. 

They start with the dress, Magpie turning and moving her hair out of the way as Todger fastened her up, neck first then the small of her back. A kiss is placed on her shoulder as the dress tightens around her waist and the feeling is back again. 

Like she's drowning whilst floating effortlessly. 

Her makeup is still fine, despite the transfer, her hair a little distressed but it was doubtful anyone bar she would notice. She turns as Todger kneels behind her, redressing her first with underwear then shoes, a kiss against lower thighs each time a new item of clothing was added. 

Magpie returns the favour, buttoning up the shirt and fastening the coat when Todger puts it back on, reaching up to try and tame messy black hair before simply shoving her cap back on. She looked more herself like this, more like the woman she had grown ever so attached to. 

"Ready to go back? I promise not to leave your side this time." 

A kiss to her knuckles like what Nathan gave her only it feels warm, warm and accepting, not arguing as it became hand holding, loose but firm. Secure. 

"How did you know that toilet was back there?" 

"I was gonna set one of the bins on fire if things got boring." Todger states casually as they walk back towards the banquet hall, shrugging. 

She cant help but laugh, covering her mouth with her free hand before bumping into Todger's back, a parallel to their initial journey. 

It's Nathan. Of course it is. 

A sour end to an otherwise pleasant moment, feeling as small as she did when they snuck away some minutes ago. "I:ve been looking for you, the staff said they'd spotted you head this way and," he sighs, looking simultaneously heartbroken and disappointed. "You used to have such integrity, now it seems you'll let anyone fuck you." 

She barely realises her hands been let go of, the sound of crunching bone that kick starts the medic part of her brain being quickly silenced as Todger snarled. "Stop slut shaming my girlfriend, cunt." 

My… What? 

She's stunned, not fighting as her hand is retaken, following blindly as Todger pulled her away from the crumpled form on the floor holding his nose. My girlfriend. She called Magpie her girlfriend. 

Its only when they come to a stop, back in the banquet hall, does Magpie get the other's attention by tugging on her sleeve, hands still firmly leaked. "I find, personally, that having someone as your girlfriend works better when you ask them first." 

She watches. Watches and waits as Todger first frowns in bemusement before her face colours, the rage she had show Nathan mere minutes ago replaced fully with flustered explanations that barely made sense. 

If this was love, or as close to it as she could get, then maybe it wasn't too bad afterall. 

#call of duty modern warfare #COD ocs #Maggie Magpie Haigh #Jade Todger Smith #TodgerMagpie #rating: M

[crusty-chronicles]

The Guide To An Idiot’s Heart

Step 3: Falling In Love

Something had changed in Viktor ever since that night. He couldn’t place the feeling he felt every time you were close. His heart would thud rapidly against his chest and his hands would become clammy. Then there were times when his focused exterior would completely soften at your presence.

He’d come to associate the feeling with a friendly fondness. Nothing more, nothing less. At least that’s what he tried to convince himself it was.

He’d also become more observant of you. Like how you got affectionate when you were excited. Or how your eyes would light up when you finally figured something out. The way your expression would go blank when you got confused.

His favorite observation, however, was how even though Jayce was closer, you'd always greet Viktor first. You'd always come to him first. Perhaps it was a sign of trust, but something in his gut wanted it to mean a little more than that.

He couldn't help but admire your strength, too. The way you could effortlessly lift any heavy object. He couldn't help but stare as your arms flexed with tension when put to work. And he may or may not have asked you to lift heavy boxes on a daily basis.

His thoughts were interrupted by you leaning your head on his shoulder. His heart nearly stopped at the feeling.

"I'm tired," you mumbled into his neck. He felt his face warm. It seems you were also affectionate when you were tired. How cute.

"We're almost done with the lesson. Are you sure you can't stay awake for a little longer?" Maybe if this had been when Viktor first met you, he'd have let you retire for the day. But now he was quite fond of you. He didn't want your warmth leaving him. Something he never thought he'd ever experience.

He could feel you pout against his skin, a sign you were feeling playful. Which only meant trouble.

"Words are hard." You managed to pull a smile from him. "Can't we do some science-y thing." You whined. "No. Every time we let you run loose in here, something catches fire." It was a miracle he and Jayce found a way to Y/n proof the lab. Still, they could never be sure with you.

"That's not fair. You know I think explosions are pretty." You pulled yourself away to stare up at him, much to his dismay. Your expression pleading, but Viktor could see the mischief hidden in your eyes. Try as he might, he couldn't say no to you.

"Fine, but you do as I say. And please be careful."

**************

" Like this?" You were in the process of mixing chemicals. The problem was, you were about to add too much. The result would be an explosion, which Viktor guessed is what you wanted to happen. But there was no way he'd let you set the lab aflame after two weeks of no accidents.

So he wrapped his hand around your wrist to stop you. The simple gesture moved him closer to you. So close that he had pressed his chest against your back. Viktor's brain almost short-circuited. The feeling of him pressed against you had his heart doing flips. Then you leaned further into him. He was a gonner.

Your warmth consumed him. He found it incredible how one touch could make him forget what he was doing. You ignited new emotions that he despised yet loved at the same time.

What was this intoxicatingly sweet feeling?

******

Viktor would describe himself as many things. Smart. Hardworking. Inventor.

But jealous had never been one until now. He tried to ignore the ache in his chest every time you would cling to Jayce. He tried to ignore the way you looked at his partner like he created the stars when you two would converse. Sure you were affectionate by nature, but he wanted your hugs, your cuddles, your adoring stares for himself.

Maybe he was overreacting. Jayce and Mel were together, and they didn't seem like splitting up anytime soon. And you treated everyone about the same. But he couldn’t stomach the possibility that you’d eventually develop a crush on Jayce and leave him. 

He knew he shouldn’t have been feeling this way. He shouldn’t have been so insecure. You weren't his. He couldn't tell you who you could or couldn't be with. It was this moment when Viktor had realized his friendly fondness was more than that. When the reason why he was all of a sudden jealous clicked. 

He liked you.

******

At the six-month mark, you had been called in for a checkup before the council. It was definitely a first and you couldn't help but notice the animosity in some stares.

"Miss Y/n, we call you here today to discuss with us your progress," Heimerdinger introduced. You looked around, surprised to see Jayce and Viktor present. You gave a bright smile their way, starting to approach but were cut off by an elder council member.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" You froze and looked up. For the first time since childhood, you felt small. But there was no way you'd let them deter you now.

"Okay, I've learned how to write my name correctly. Oh! And read! I've learned how to read some words!" As cheerful as your voice was, it did nothing to stop the glares directed at you.

"A child could do that. Are you to tell me you did nothing with your time here," another councilor interjected. They began to whisper to themselves.

"Now, now." A dark-skinned woman spoke. She was beautiful in every way, Y/n noted. Almost goddess like.

"We must remember she is from the undercity. Most children grow up uneducated. The only thing they learn is how to survive. I'd say this one has made tremendous progress so far." You smiled up at the woman. Beautiful and kind.

"Councilor Mel is right. Y/n came to us with little to no educational experience. With Viktor's help, she's been able to grasp new concepts," Jayce spoke up. The councilors began to whisper amongst themselves again.

"What else have you learned?" Another councilor asked at last. You seemed to ponder for a moment before speaking up.

"Well, I've noticed that a lot of the people here are really stuck up. For a city of prosper, you sure do got a lot of assholes running around." This was clearly not what they were expecting. And for that Viktor admired you.

You didn't have a filter and you weren't someone that was gonna say what they wanted to hear. You didn't have a reputation to worry about. You'd already lived through hell, so it was safe to say you weren't intimidated easily. Even after all this time you still found new ways to impress him.

"How dare you!" "The zaunite dares to judge us!" "Someone ought to put this one in its place!" You stood your ground, having heard worse.

"I mean, you talk about wanting to make a change when you don't consider that your side is in the wrong too. You can’t expect things to get better if you're not willing to fix what's wrong here first. I couldn't even buy food without having enforcers called on me because they thought I was stealing."

"They have every right to be worried about your kind!" Oh hell no. You approached the old councilor. You could handle the name calling and the taunts, but you would not stand your people being belittled. A city of chaos that only came to be because the wealthy refused to help.

"I'm gonna kick your ass for that one." You were stopped by a soft tug on your arm. You turned around and saw Viktor.

"Don't listen to them. You can't let them get under your skin. Trust me, you have to calm down." The tension melted away from your body. You hadn't even heard when Heimerdinger stopped the rest of the councilors' foolishness.

All you could focus on was Viktor. Did he have to go through this too? Did he have to endure all the harsh remarks? The feeling of trying to be good enough?

It must have been difficult to deal with. He didn't have someone who understood to help him. He didn't have someone to look after him.

And you couldn't stomach that. Someone as sweet as Viktor going through what you did. It must have been even worse given his condition.

You relaxed into his touch. Viktor was trying to look after you. He out of anyone understood. Your heart ached for him. You would make sure to return each and every favor he gave you because he was one of your own.

He was yours.

********

Viktor was once again hard at work. It had gotten late into the night. But he didn't mind, not when you were right next to him. You watched with interest as he tinkered with the device in his hand. Why you stayed, he didn't know. He was just grateful for your presence.

He didn't like his work being interrupted for anything. Not for eating. Not for sleeping. Not for company.

But with you, he'd drop it all if you asked. As long as he was on the receiving end of your soft smile. The one, he noticed, that was only for him. (although you'd definitely be met with some resistance)

Your excuse had been along the lines of having nothing better to do and wanting to keep him company. Whatever the reason, he was thrilled either way.

Whenever you were near him, Viktor found himself working harder. Maybe a small part of him wanted to impress you? (a big part actually)

He noticed you struggling to stay awake. A stubborn one, you were.

"If you're tired, you can leave. I won’t mind." He reached up to rub the sleep from his own eyes as he addressed you.

"Me? Tired? Have you seen yourself? It looks like you got in a fight, and lost. If anyone should be sleeping, it's you." Viktor let out a soft chuckle. You weren't wrong, but he had to get this done. Sleep could wait.

You leaned over and poked his cheek. If he wasn't so exhausted, he might've flushed at the contact.

"You are getting very sleepy. So very tired." He caught your wrist. "You're going to make me blow up the lab." You grinned up with a wicked look in your eyes.

"Is that so? Well then, we don't want our dear Viktor making a mistake. Maybe he should sleep after being awake for two days straight." You were unrelenting.

"If you wouldn't distract me, there would be no potential danger." Two can play at that game. But then you had stood up. Did he say something wrong? You let out a yawn and stretched.

"Alright, I'll go home. Just let me get my things." He should have known better. He really should have from the mischievous glint in your eyes. Maybe then he wouldn't have been caught off guard as you put your arms under him and heaved.

He felt his face redden at the action. You had lifted him up with such ease. One arm secured under his legs. The other supporting his back. He was reminded of your strength. His eyes glancing at your bicep. He was wide awake now.

"What are you doing!?" His voice came out panicked. Without thinking, he clutched the fabric of your shirt, afraid you might drop him.

"I'm taking my things. Now hush up and rest." You moved your hand to push his head against your chest. He could hear the gentle beating of your heart. A contrast to the rapid thudding of his own.

Your warmth, your comfort had engulfed him. He was intoxicated by your sweet scent. Everything about you screamed home. He felt you moving, starting to walk out if the lab. There was nothing he could do to stop you. And he found he really didn't want to.

Exhaustion had finally crept up on him. Viktor tried to stop his eyes from closing, wanting to enjoy your strong embrace for a little longer.

But your entire being lulled him to sleep. He could faintly hear you humming a soft tune as he at last drifted off.

****************

Viktor awoke from what he could only describe as the best sleep he's had in years. Your scent lingered on him. He didn't want to get up, not wanting to lose the comforting sensation. He turned in his bed only to realize this was not his apartment.

The room he was in was much neater than his own. He glanced at the nightstand next to him. It housed a framed picture of a girl dangling a little boy from her arm. Another child hiding behind her leg. 

The more he looked at it, the more the girl started to become familiar. Her hair was a familiar color. And her eyes held that same mischievous glint.

This was where you lived. That girl was you, a much younger version of you. He looked around the room once more. No wonder he had felt so content. Everything had your certain touch to it. The slightly ripped curtains, (perhaps you had tried to catch yourself from slipping) stuffed animals in a bookshelf, and little doodles on the walls.

He tried to get up, realizing his cane was nowhere in sight. He had almost forgotten that you carried him all the way here. You never did think things all the way through.

Viktor hastily sat up and prepped himself for standing. It was never easy without any assistance.

When he finally made it to your doorway, he was surprised by the sight before him. You were asleep, snoring with your mouth wide open. Your entire body draped over a small armchair. And the thing was, you looked quite comfortable.

Why you didn't put him there instead of your bed was beyond him. You may not have been the brightest, but your kind heart made up for it.

He had shifted on his good leg causing the floorboards to creek. You shot up, gun drawn.

"Who's there?!" Your eyes met his and all at once you softened. You put your gun back in its place and stretched.

"Sorry about that. I forgot I had company. You better have slept." Viktor was always amazed at how quickly your easy-going nature could change.

"I should say the same for you. That doesn't look very comfortable." You smiled that special smile that was only for him. Despite the strange circumstances, he didn't feel out of place at all.

"I'll have you know I can sleep just about anywhere. It's a talent." You got up at last. You had bed hair, a sight Viktor couldn't help but find adorable. He decided to finally ask what had been on his mind since he woke up.

"Why did you bring me here?" You walked past him and into the small kitchen. "Well, I didn't know where you lived and I didn't want to wake you up to ask. I figured it was easier this way." Your answer was simple and to the point. You didn't see anything wrong with bringing someone into your house, your bed whereas any other person would have ulterior motives.

"You do realize I have no way of getting back without my cane." You slapped your forehead, an 'oh' leaving your lips.

"That's what I was forgetting. Eh, I'll just carry you back then." Viktor's face went bright red. People would stare, then they'd ask questions and he was not prepared to answer them. His heart wouldn't be able to handle your warmth pressed against him as your carried him back to the University lab. Walking through Piltover without a care in the world.

He sputtered, trying to come up with any excuse as to why you couldn't do that. But you'd wave him off and say it was no trouble at all. Jayce would have a field day teasing him and your naivety would only contribute further.

He eventually gave up seeing as how you really saw no problem with carrying him. Your response being 'If anyone says anything I'll just toss you at them.'

You hummed the same tune from last night as you made breakfast. Enough for two, he noted. He hobbled over to you interested in what you were doing.

"You sure you won't burn it?" You reached behind yourself to slap his arm. "Hey, the stoves in Zaun were shit. And yes I have some cooking experience. I had to learn." Viktor thought back to the picture on your nightstand. The two boys that looked remarkably like you.

Viktor, ever so gently, wrapped his arms around you from behind. Was this too far? Would you push him away? But then you leaned back into his embrace. He couldn't stop himself from craving the comfort only you brought. Perhaps he was becoming bolder with every moment spent together. Did you feel this way too?

He decided to test how far your affections would go with him (He was a scientist after all) because you never did this with Jayce. He leaned his head on your shoulder and just about melted when you put your head on top of his. He could only describe the feeling as domestic. He had never felt so at peace.

So in love.

Viktor wanted to try one last thing. If you let him do this, then he decided he would try to pursue this life with you. This sweet and wonderful life.

He moved his head down the junction of your neck. His nose nudging the small space between your ear and neck. Then he gave a small kiss right above your shoulder. You gave a small squeak. Not a negative reaction, but he couldn't be sure it was positive.

"Hey, that tickles!" He smiled because you didn't push him away. You trusted him more than he could have ever hoped of. "Now you know how it feels when you bite me."

"Keep it up and I won't feed you." "Am I sure I really want to eat that?" You gasped in mock offense.

"Don't forget who has to carry you back, meany!" He laughed softly into your neck. What a wonderful morning this was. He never wanted the moment to stop. Never wanted to leave the safety of a home where it was just the two of you.

#viktor x reader #Arcane #arcane viktor #Netflix Arcane #netflix #League of Legends #lol #x reader

[the-winter-spider]

Giving Up

Characters: Bucky x reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: angst, angst, angst, depression, drinking, self loathing, heart ache, possible suicide attempt/character death

A/N: This is some crappy all over the place writing but ive had it in my drafts foreeevvver, so I just want it out of there lol I wrote this when I was wine drunk, of course like always nothing is proof read. Enjoy!

__

You were happy, the key word is were. You don't know where everything went so horribly wrong, when you started to let someone dictate how you felt about yourself and the world. You don't know where the line between falling in love with him and him breaking your heart started and ended, but it hurt. You felt like a shell of who you once were, you were a robot. You could speak words and sound like yourself, you even laughed at his jokes but you didn't feel that laughter, it was like someone was controlling you, you didn't feel anything, you were numb.

You were swirling whisky in your cup watching it whisk around before letting a sign out downing the rest of it, placing it down on the bar counter, your eyes waiting for the bartender to meet yours “Make it a triple this time please” he nodded and started on your drink. Thanking him you took a big swig of it, the burning feeling down your throat was the best feeling because you could finally feel something you felt like you were deteriorating. Your eyes were scanning the room, you don't remember how long ago you arrived or how much time as passed since then, you made a B-line right to the bar as soon as you entered, you knew you should go out and mingle, say hello to your fellow teammates to continue to put up the facade you were fine, whatever that meant anymore. You didn't want to tip them off on how you were feeling, you wanted to deal with this feeling alone, you already felt like a burden and god knows how much everyone already had on their shoulders, you weren't anything special, having ‘abilities’ or not, you were just another beating heart roaming this planet.

breath. drink. breath. drink. breath. drink. drink.

Your heart felt like it was going burst out of your chest as you finally felt your feet moving for you away from the bar, your hands were getting clammy, you tried your best to stay focused on the task you set out for, treating this like a mission, you felt yourself turning into a robot putting on this facade, a smile was forming on your face as you slowly approached a group of your teammates.

“y/n!” Everyone said in unison, all smiling at you and for some reason that didn't make you happy, but you smiled back “Hey, great party”

“You hate these parties” Steve laughed

“I know but I love the free liquor” Taking a big gulp of the golden liquid

“Touche” Natasha said raising her glass

Everyone fell into a comfortable conversation, you just stood there, giving out a forced laugh every time you saw someone else laugh. You were here physically but mentally you were elsewhere,

You could feel the room spinning, feeling a pair of hands land on either side of your waist, you didn't have to look up to know who it was, you could feel who it was, even though your heart was broken it still beats for him, although deep down you just wish it would stop all together, things would be easier.

“Y/n? you okay”  Bucky's lips moved

“W-what?” You stuttered, not fully processing what was said, your mind was still processing the intoxicating feeling he gave you “Yeah, i'm good” you smiled.

“You sure?” He knew something seemed off about you, god he knew everything about. “Yeah Buck, I’m good”

He eye’d you up in down removing his hands from your waist “You look beautiful”

Your stomach was swirling with those oh so familiar butterflies “Thanks Buck, um you look nice as always”

“Do you want to dance with me?”

You wanted to, so badly but you knew if you did your heart would break all over again because you were just friends and he didn't feel that way about you, and he made that very clear at Tony’s last party when you were drunk and told him you loved him and he just walked away and didn't talk to you for a week and when he finally did he acted as if nothing had happened, that was 3 months ago.

___

“Alright there y/n, i think you’ve had enough to drink”

“You are not my father Bucky, you don't get to tell me what to do” You sternly said, pointing your index finger in his face, while a playful smile broke out on your face, your cheeks were red, he was right you had too much to drink.

“Yes Doll, i know that but-”

“I mean you could be old enough to be my grandfather though”

“And that's how I know you’ve had enough to drink, once you bring out the old timer jokes” Bucky reached for your glass, you pulled it back

“Nuh huh let me finish this, that would be a waste!” you downed the rest.

Bucky rolled his eyes “I'm sure, no im positive Stark can afford it”

Slamming the cup onto the table, standing up “There now I’ve had enough”

Bucky shook his head smiling up at you, reaching his hand for yours “Let me walk you back to your room, doll”

You took his hand in yours “Always a gentleman”

“Anything for my best girl”

You two made your way to the door, leaving the party “Bye lovebirds!”  You heard Sam yell as you were almost through the door, both Bucky and you didnt turn around you both just flipped him off, earning a chuckle from him and your other teammates.

You and Bucky weren’t anything but friends, your teammates always joked about you two hiding a relationship and that they knew you were together, Bucky and you would simple laugh it off and deny it every time, you spent all your time together, even on missions you two were glued to the hip always having each others backs. You would train together, eat together, your rooms were directly across from each other’s. Spending that much time with someone, you of course were going to develop feelings for him, you don't remember when you fell in love with him, it started out as a simple crush nothing more, but one day you woke up and saw him differently, it was something you never felt before, so forgien to you, but you pushed that feeling as far down as you could. Your friendship with Bucky was more important than any stupid feeling you had.

“Well here we are” Bucky’s voice pulling you from your thoughts, he let go of your hand turning to face you.

“Here we are” You gave him a drunken smile, you were buzzing, your stomach was tinglying you could feel your thoughts making their way to your mouth.

“Goodnight y/n” He placed a soft kiss on your cheek, you felt his lip just light graze the side of yours, your head was exploding, he pulled away turning around to walk across the hall to his room.

I love you Bucky” you blurted out, your hands flew to your mouth, maybe he was right you had drank too much, you knew that. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears, whisky pumping through your veins, your eyes watching his every move. He stopped, you could see his body tense up, the air in the hallway got thick, you were beating yourself up from being so careless with your words. Your eyes still glued to his back. It felt like minutes had gone by but you knew it was only seconds, the next thing you knew his door was slamming shut and you were standing in the hallway with mascara running down your face.

__

“Y/n?”

“S-sorry, what did you say?”

Bucky cleared his throat “I asked if you wanted to dance with me?”

“Um i actually was just about to go get another drink, maybe next time” You lifted up your empty glass.

“How many have you had?” His eyes were intensely staring into yours, you knew he was searching for the lie you were about to tell.

“This is my second”

“Bullshit”

You scoffed rolling your eyes “Look Buck, I am an adult I can make my own choices and I quite frankly do not need or want your opinion on how many drinks I have tonight or ever, again.” You stormed away, you don't know what came over you, you’ve never spoke to him like that ever, but looking into those blue eyes you could feel all the walls you built up around you after that night crumbling down from him just looking at you, you panicked and had to do something, to show you wouldn't cave again.

“Want the same thing as before Miss y/l/n?” The bartender asked

“Um no, sorry you can just have this back” You placed the cup on the counter shoving it towards him “done for the night” You felt shame bubbling up from the depths of you on how you left Bucky affect you once again. You were distracted by someone coming up and placing a hand on your shoulder. You tensed up.

“Woah y/n, i come in peace” Sam laughed throwing up a peace sign with his drinkless hand

“Sorry Sam” You turned to face him offering him a smile.

“What's a beautiful girl like you doing over here all by yourself?”

“Leaving”

“What! the party isn't even over yet!” He beamed

“I know Sammy, but I'm tired” You gave him sad eyes, he knew what you meant. He pulled you into a tight hug “Alright, you call me if you need anything, i mean it” He kisses the top of your head before letting you go.

“I will, thanks Sammy”

You signed making your way towards the exit, you turned around one last time to see everyone laughing and smiling, why couldn't you do that? And mean it. Your eyes searched the crowd looking for a certain super soldier you hated that you did but you couldn’t help it, when they landed on him, you felt another piece of your heart shatter and there wasn't much left at this point. He was twirling around a certain redhead, both of their smiles matching one another, she was so perfect you couldn't blame him, how could anyone love someone like you, with someone like that around. His eyes met yours, piercing into your soul, he gave you a questioning look, he stopped twirling her almost immediately, he said something to her before he made his way through the crowd towards you.

shit.

+++++

You groaned rubbing your eyes, the sun beating down on you “FRIDAY close the blinds please”

“Yes Miss y/l/n”

“FRIDAY what time is it?”

“It's almost noon”

You felt defeated, you could still feel your make up glued to your face from the night before. Your stomach ached from your stupidity, how could you be so reckless with your words? You were a trained interrogator, spy, assassin and you let your drunken thoughts take over and get the best, or was it the worst of you? You felt numb, not sure if it was from the mix of sleeping pills and Advil you took the night before so you could finally sleep, after spending hours crying. Your mind wandered to what Bucky thought, how was he? Why didn’t he say anything back? How could he just shut the door on you like that. You shook those thoughts away, taking a big sip from the water bottle beside you.

You made your way to your shower letting the water wash away everything from last night, you didn't dare look at yourself in the mirror when you passed by, you didnt care what you looked like, you already knew, it was going to be exactly how you felt, like shit. You pulled on a pair of leggings, searching for an oversized t shirt you could run in, you passed over one of Bucky's henleys you stole, you held it in your hands letting out a small whimper before placing it back in your closet and settling on an oversized band tee instead. As you pulled your shoes on you signed looking at your white sheets stained with black mascara and red lipstick. Pulling all your sheets off you, peaked out of your room to make sure the coast was clear of the super soldier who lived across the hall from you, taking a step back in your room to grab your phone and headphones.

“Hey FRIDAY where's Bucky?”

“He’s in the gym Miss”

You let out a sign of relief, the laundry room was nowhere near the gym. You were hoping not to run into anyone to hear stupid comments about how drunk you were last night, you weren’t up for the stories. You could hear two voices as you rounded the corner, grunting as you braced yourself.

“There she is!” Sam gave you a cheeky grin

“Hi”

“How are you feeling y/n?” Steve asked.

“Like shit if in being honest” You gave a small smile

“You were wild last night” Sam beamed

“Yeah i think i'm done with Tony’s parties for a while”

Sam gave Steve a look and Steve shook his head, giving him his famous ‘don't even think about it look’, Sam being Sam came back with his ‘Im gonna do it look’ he turned to you with this mischievous smile “Off to the laundry room I see”

“Yup” You put emphasis on the P, not sure where this was going, you watched Steve roll his eyes.

“Did you have a good sleep last night?”

“Nope”

Steve could tell you were getting annoyed you weren’t one to give such short responses, Sam didn’t care because he loved bugging you and Bucky.

“How odd, neither did Bucky, and how weird your taking your sheets to the laundry room because they’re dirty, and one more thing I find weird is you left together” He was wiggling his eyebrows now, you knew exactly what he was getting at.

“Sam, nothing happ-“

“We heard you”

Your eyes went wide “Heard what?”

“Oh Buckyyyy, don't stop'', Sam laughed, hitting Steve’s shoulder, who had a small smile on his face.

Your head was spinning, you tried to remember if you heard anything last night but you took the sleeping pills, Bucky wouldn't do that after you confessed your love to him, would he? Did you really mean that little to him? You didn’t want to hear anymore you just pushed past both of them, before your felt the tears starting to well up again ‘dont cry dont cry’

“Oh great now look what you did, she pissed”  You heard Steve say too Sam. "I was just playing around y/n, come on!"

You tossed your sheets in the washing machine, everything was such a blur your mind was racing with thoughts, you just wanted to get out of the compound, you didnt wanna be in the same building as Bucky, the thought of him with another woman invaded your mind. When did he go back to the party? Was it shortly after he shut his door on you? Did he even try to check up on you after? Did everyone in the tower think it was you? You were biting your nails eager to get out of the elevator. ``I should have taken  the stairs’ you thought as you heard a ping. You rushed out like there was a grenade in the elevator, you were stopped when you ran into a firm being standing outside of the elevator, you felt two hands steady you, one warm, one cold. You knew it was you didn’t dare look up, his hands lingered on either side of your before you pushed passed him running out of the compound.

___

You could see Bucky getting closer, weaving through the crowd of people, you don't know why but you just stood there watching him, you wanted to run but you felt as if your feet were glued to the ground, he finally made it through the crowd.

“Are you leaving?”

You nodded in response, you knew if you spoke your words would betray you, again.

His eyes were doing what they did best scanning you again, he took a step closer “Without saying goodbye?”

“I said goodbye to Sam” your voice could barely be heard due to the loud music. If it wasn't for the serum enhancing his hearing he wouldn’t have heard you.

“Do you hate me that much?”

You were taken back by what came out of his mouth, you scoffed did he really not get it? “Bucky, why are you making a big deal out of this? I will see you at the mission briefing tomorrow” You turned to walk away but felt him grab your arm.

“I miss you Doll” His facial features softened.

You took arm away from his, shaking your head “No, you don't get to do this”

“Do what?”

“You know what James, I confessed my love to you, drunkenly and stupidly, I might add. And you shut me out, you made love to another woman the same night” You watched his face morph into guilt and shame. You knew who was in his bed that night, you figured it out on your run You decided you would deal with her later, she was still your sister after all. “Then you try to act as if nothing ever happened, I am tired and I just can't do this with you anymore”

“Doll, i-“

“Stop calling me that!” You shouted

“I loved you with all that I had in me, so when you left you took that love with you, y-you took everything with you when you shut the door on me.” You cried out, not caring if you made a scene, you gave everything you had, which wasn't much to Bucky, and the way he responded when you confessed hurt more than if he would of regetected you with words..

“Do-, y/n, let me explain, please. I never meant— i dont -.”

“Oh Bucky cut the crap, you knew what you were doing. I wanted you with every atom, every cell that was in me, but you went running to her the same night.” You didn't need to say her name, he knew who you were talking about and you didn't blame him, you couldn't she was the complete opposite of you, she was everything you weren’t. She was perfect.

Bucky was staring at you at a loss for words, Addams apple bobbing “Goodbye Bucky” with that you turned on your heel, wishing it was tomorrow already.

*+*+*+*

“Miss y/l/n, I am sorry to wake you but Mr. Stark has requested everyone in the debriefing room”

You signed, you barely got a wink of sleep, you changed quickly out of your sweats, making yourself look somewhat presentable. Grabbing a quick coffee before making your way to the meeting room.

“Nice of you to finally join us” Tony joked

“Caffeine comes first” You lifted up the cup.

You scanned the room for a place to sit, the only place available was beside Bucky, you opted to stand, leaning against the glass wall, Sam looked at you raising his eyebrow, you shook your head, he gave you a sad look.

“So as you're all aware, from reading the memo I got FRIDAY to send out Thursday”

“There was a memo?” Sam joked, earning a small smile from you. You knew he was trying to get you to laugh, when he saw he got a smile his eyes lit up.

Tony rolled his eyes “Anyway, we have a new mission that is going to be more on the dangerous side, and if anyone wants to bail out now will judge” Tony finished clapping his hands together.

“All of our missions are dangerous Tony, we fought and won against things out of this world” Nat rolled her eyes.

“This is different, we’re not going up against things that didn’t know our strengths and weaknesses, things that didn’t know what we were capable of. “ He paused, to stand back up, roaming around the table “These people, they know us, they’ve had the chance to study us.  Do you guys remember when the file system got hacked a couple of months ago?” A series of “yeah’s” “Yes’s” were heard throughout the room, you nodded when he glanced at you.

Tony took a deep breath “These were the people who took them, they know each and everyone of us better than we know each other, they know your past, hell probably even your futures, what I am saying this isn’t just going to be physically draining, but mentally. If you want to be a part of this mission you need to be prepared for anything.”

The room was silent, all eyes were on Tony, your eyes drifted examining everyone in the room, you slowly looked back at Tony “I’m in” you spoke softly.

Tony, as well as everyone’s darted towards you, “You don’t even know the mission yet y/n” Tony spoke.

“I know but someone’s gotta do it, and even if at the end everyone says no, i just want you to know i’ll do it, not matter what” You could feel Bucky's eyes peering into your soul, he wanted you to look at him but you simply wouldn’t, you were done, you were tired.

Tony went on to explain the mission, the plan he and Bruce had been working on all week, you figured this was the reason he threw the party the night before, to let everyone have one more night of fun before the mentally and physically draining mission. The mission was bad news, they were prepared, they knew all of you better than you knew each other.  Tony had found out from a tip that they were planning on attacking the compound but Tony knew you had to bring the fight to them, he wasn’t sure if it was a trap or not, but he knew they were prepared and he had a feeling not everyone would make it out alive, but he hoped otherwise.

“That’s suicide Tony!” Steve shouted jumping up, slamming his hands down on the table making everyone at the table jump.

Tony ran his fingers through his short dark hair “If you’re not comfortable doing this mission no one’s making you Cap”

“Do you not get it? If any of us does this mission there’s a high chance of not making it back. You have to be insane if you think anyone in this room is willing to do that”

“Y/n said she would”

You could feel all they eyes in the room on you, Steve and Tony’s eyes burning into your skull, you swallowed the lump in your throat “I did, and i will, alone or not”

Steve stood up backing away from the table, towards the wall “You are NOT doing this y/n, none is. You can’t be serious”

You took a step away from the wall “I am doing this Steve, I dont care if its a suicide mission, it has to be done. I’m doing this whether you like it or not”

Tony gave you a small nod, “So y/n and I are going, anyone else?”

“I’m with y/n” Nat spoke shrugging her shoulders.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Steve groaned “Anyone else want to do this suicide mission?”

“I’m in” Clint spoke

“Me too” Wanda added

“If everyone else is doing it, i’m gonna seem like a little bitch if i’m not, I’m in” Sam laughed

Tony looks over, both giving them nods and a small smile.

“Buck?” Steve asked, you turned to your right to face him, his eyes gazed into yours, he opened his mouth but no words came out, you knew he was trying to reason with you, plead with you not to go. You kept your eyes hard and face stern.

“If y/n’s doing it, then i am too” he spoke, directing it to Tony.

“Wow, you’re all doing this?” Steve ran his fingers through his golden locks.

“You realize this could be your last mission, if it’s not done right and we’re not careful, we could all die, some of us might not make it home, you understand the risks?” Tony added one more time.

Steve sighed “One of us isn't going to make it out, and to whoever that is, it’s on you Tony”

“One of us?” Tony perked up “Does that mean you’re in Cap?”

Steve stood up pushing the chair back “We leave in 20, suit up”

—-

You were all seated on the jet, there was small chatter coming from Bruce and Tony running through the plan one more time, Steve’s eyes roamed around the whole group looking for any doubt in anyone's face, when his eyes landed on you he was scared, the look on your face was different, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Y/n”

“Yeah Cap?” Your eyes met his

“You ready?”

“Always”

—-

You were running and fast, the green on the tree’s was shooting by, your lungs were burning, feet crunching against the leaves below you. You stopped when you reached the edge of the forest, looking at the edge of the hill in front of you got a rush, you felt alive and completely sober. You took a few steps back really taking everything in from the mission you were running away from.

You heard static coming in from your ear piece “y/n what's your status?” “y/n come in?” a series of different voices came through, you could sense panic and urgency in all of them. The mission was hard, Tony wasn’t kidding, these people knew you were coming and they were prepared and ready. The fight lasted hours, you weren’t sure who was hurt and who wasn’t. You ripped the ear piece out, throwing it over the edge of the cliff, watching it fall down the bottom. You were panting, you hand knife wounds all over your body, you were sure you got shot in the shoulder but you couldn’t feel it, the physical pain was nothing compared to the mental pain that came with the mission, Tony was right they knew your file in and out but there was things that were said that weren’t in the file, things the whole team heard.

—

You ran out of amo hours ago, it was hand combat now you didn’t mind it was your specialty, you were dodging as many punches as you could. The person you were fighting looked at you smirking “You’re right you know”

You used your left leg kicking the person back “Yeah?” you grunted

“He doesn’t love you at all”

Your eyebrows furrowed together “What are you talking about? What is this slumber party, who talks about this during a fight?” You scoffed, taking a throwing knife from your pocket, just missing the person, but grazing their shoulder, they let out a low hiss.

“The winter soldier doesn't love you, you’re right” The person smirked, their eyes glowing yellow.

“Tony i think they’re enhanced” You spoke, dodging another jab.

“You think?” Sam spoke through the comms “it's like they are another version of us!”

“He loves her, he pitied you, he could never love you”

You were distracted, you felt the knife plunge into your leg, you let out a scream. You pulled the knife out of your leg, running at the person, the thing you were fighting, stabbing it over and over and over again “I know” you grumbled.

—-

“Doll” a soft voice came from behind you, you didn't realise you were holding your breath till you turned around and saw him standing there, emotions seeping out from every part of his body, he put his gun down taking a step closer towards you.

“Buck, dont” You took a step back, you could see panic swirling in his eyes.

He nodded “d-doll what are you doing?”

You looked over right shoulder “I just wanna be free”

“p-please come back with me to the jet and w-we can talk about this”

You shook your head “Buck, I'm tired” tears were pooling on your waterline, you gave him a soft smile “I love you, always” before you turned around running the rest of the way to the edge, closing your eyes, the tears rolled down your cheeks, you could hear him screaming your name, heavy footsteps trailed behind you, then ground disappeared.

You were falling fast, you felt free.

You peeled your eyes open when you felt something grab you, strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into a warm protective embrace.

Bucky.

#bucky x reader #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barnes angst #bucky barns x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #bucky barns x reader #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barns fanfiction

[lovely-angst]

break ups and break ins

a/n: i didn't have any motivation to continue writing so it stayed in my drafts for forever. it's a super messy fic im not super proud of tbh i wanted to scrap it but i got so far lol

genre: angst to fluff

pairing: hawks x reader

summary: you and hawks break up, but someone breaks in?

word count: 3.7k+

09.16.21

-

"come on, stop being so sensitive," hawks groans with an eye roll as you gawk at him. "you think i'm being sensitive because I'm hurt that you're out there flirting with other girls while we are in a relationship?"

you scoff in disbelief before tears form in your eyes, "i can't believe you right now, keigo."

hawks' brows knit as he stares at you bewildered, "i've already told you that it's just an act i have to out up because of the commission. i can't let them figure out i have a romantic relationship with someone. you don't know what they would do or could do."

"but that doesn't mean you can flirt around with no boundaries!" your voice comes out loud as your arms flail out in front of you, tears streaming down your face, "do you know how much it hurts to see you on television sweet-talking every girl out there when you're my boyfriend? i thought you would respect what we have..."

"(name), just admit you're just jealous of the fangirls and leave it at that," hawks closes his eyes, shaking his head in frustration, "honestly, they appreciate me so much more than you do."

your eyes widen in shock as you feel your heart shattering into tiny pieces so small you aren't sure if you could piece it back up.

"keigo, i love you for who you are—not because you're hawks," your voice now small and laced with hurt. "if you can't see the reason why i am so upset, i think it's best if we end it."

hawks' eyes quickly glance to yours before they look away just as quick, "i think that's what's best too," he whispers, causing your brows to furrow in sadness as you purse your lips tightly.

taking a step forward, you wrap your arms around your now ex-boyfriend, taking in his comforting arms and smell, "thanks for everything." a heavy sigh left from his lips before he nuzzled into you, "can i hold you in bed one last time?"

words died in your throat as you felt the tears sting your eyes once more. a nod was your only reply as hawks lifted the two of you up with his large wings, carrying you into the bedroom.

no words were exchanged as the two of you allowed your quiet breaths to mingle together in silence.

-

your heart was still achey from the fresh break-up as your cries and tears quietly filled the air. your nose and eyes red and raw from all the wiping you had done—the tissues around you as proof.

"hey, come on. you can't keep living like this and expect to get better," mirko says and she stands infront of you with a small smile. "how about we watch something to distract your mind?" she suggests as she turns around to pick up the controller to turn the television screen on.

"hawks, being the number two hero must be so taxing! how do you do it?"

hawks gives that big bright smile you've always loved, "my fans always give me motivation to do my best! i love you my babybirds!"

"oh shit-" mirko quickly turns the television screen off before she turns over to you, watching as your lips quiver before you break out in another crying session.

"rumi," you whine, muffled behind your tissues, "he doesn't care for me at all!" letting out a sigh, she walks over and places a comforting hand on your hair before running her hand through your locks, "hey, don't say that. hawks' cared for you a lot. break-ups happen, but don't let it keep you like this. let's go out and have some fun today, yeah?"

your teary eyes glance up at her before you let out sigh, "okay."

but to your surprise, a quick hour later here you were on a chair getting your makeup done professionally as mirko sat on the couch, munching away on a carrot. "rumi? why am i getting my makeup done professionally?"

"my makeup artist is good at what she does when she beats my face with makeup for those hero galas. i thought it would make you feel better getting your makeup done professionally before we go out and explore the city a bit," she finishes, taking another crunchy bite of her carrot.

a small, "oh" leaves your lips before your attention focuses back on the lipstick that gently glided across your lips. "there, all done. you look great!" the makeup artist cheers as she hands you a mirror.

your eyes sparkled once you saw your reflection—you had never felt so pretty before!

"are you ready to go out now?" mirko asks with a smile as she stands from her seat. you couldn't help the small, yet excited, smile, "yeah."

-

your words had been on repeat in hawks' mind.

you were upset because of how he was treating his fans—flirting with his fans as you put it. it was a constant argument the two of you had and frankly, he was getting tired of it. why you couldn't understand where he was coming from?

he didn't want to break up because of something so trivial, but it seemed like a break up was the only option. but it was fine, his fans kept him going; or that's what he thought was keeping him going.

"hawks! we love you!" his fans cried as he landed down in front of them, his handsome smile swooning everyone lucky enough to get their eye on him. "thanks birdies! i'm always happy to have your support!"

"can i have a picture?" "sign my shirt for me!" "you're the best hero!"

fans; something he enjoyed about being a hero. everywhere he went, they were there to offer him their love and support which he appreciated and loved!

but there often came days when he just wanted to stay cooped in his apartment. away from the world and away from the hero hawks. he simply wanted to escape and enjoy being keigo for a little while.

maintaining a facade took a lot away from him. it was tiring, exhausting even, trying to keep up with how fast his mind was going. a million different things happening at once and hawks had to be able to solve them. a little much for a single guy, don't 'cha think?

landing in at his balcony, hawks let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with another tiring day of being the number two hero. thankfully, he had the next day off to do, well, nothing.

staring at the dark apartment with a an empty look, hawks let out a groan of exhaustion before unlocking the door and stepping in.

it was quiet, extra quiet these days. since he had gone to living by himself again.

after removing his hero gear, hawks walked into the kitchen and frowned at his lack of food in the fridge. usually, you were always there to greet him with a smile and a hearty dinner after a hard day at work.

well, that didn't matter anymore because you two had broken up, hawks mentally responded to his thoughts.

it seemed like tonight was one of those nights he really missed you.

you made this place feel like home and the more he thought about it, you were his home. he was safe with you and it was okay to let hawks go for the night and just be keigo. you loved him as he came, his flaws and everything. even the emotional baggage!

letting out an exhausted sigh, hawks closed his empty fridge before making his way towards his bed, plopping down with a grunt. "i'll just get a bigger breakfast tomorrow," he noted, pulling out his phone to catch up on his social media for the night.

hawks wasn't expecting to see much on his social media, he's too busy to be checking these sorts of things. today though, he was a little extra bored at home—until he saw a photo of you that mirko shared.

hawks quickly sat up in disbelief. hawks was genuinely confused. you had always been super pretty, but you were extra pretty in this picture. was it because you were no longer his? his eyes glanced over you in the photo for many long minutes as he took in your beauty. you looked so ethereal.

hawks was so thankful for mirko, he would have never stumbled across this photo of you.

the more he smiled at the photo, the more his heart ached. if only he just listened to you more and tried to find a solution to this problem, you would still be with him, in his arms. he was a fool to let you go because he didn't understand your pain. especially when you were always there for him when you couldn't understand his pain.

hawks found himself pulling up that photo of you whenever the days were tough. it never failed to bring a smile to his lips.

until mirko deleted the post.

he should've saved it when he had the chance, hawks thought as he let out a groan upon finding no picture. but, maybe mirko still had it on her phone? thankfully, there was a top five hero meeting that day which meant he could ask mirko about the picture.

hawks sat impatiently in his chair as he drummed his finger against his thigh, counting down the minutes until the meeting would conclude. it must've been distracting, because mirko approached him first after the meeting.

"hey birdbrain, what's up with you? you looked distracted during the meeting," mirko questioned walking up to the winged hero. hawks perked up slightly, before giving her a smile, "hmm? nah, just sick of meetings, wanted to get out." mirko eyed him curiously, "if you say so."

"i saw that picture you posted of (name)," he commented, "you two were hanging out?"

"huh? oh, this picture?" pulling up the picture on her phone, she showed him the photo before pulling away to hawks' dismay. "yeah, we went out. it was about time too! (name) seemed to be enjoying herself, so i'm glad i got to capture that."

hawks couldn't help the smile on his lips knowing that you were happy and could enjoy yourself. he really just wanted you to be happy, even if that wasn't with him.

"if you wanted the photo, you could've just asked," mirko smirks, causing hawks to duck his head down in embarrassment. "but even if you ask, im not giving it to you." Hawks turned his head brows furrowed and confused, slightly offended, "why would you even suggest it then?"

"not sure, maybe it'll be a way to encourage you to find a way to get it."

-

mirko had an interesting way of talking, hawks thought as he continued on with his patrol. it seemed like she was hinting at more than what she was saying, but he wasn't really interested in solving puzzles when he was busy being the number 2 hero.

and boy, was he busy busy.

it felt as if all the villains knew hawks would be out on patrol today, using that to their advatange by stiring up so much more trouble than on a typical day—not that he couldn't handle it, it was just more work that he would have hoped to do that day.

from the sky, he could see a crowd forming below on the streets as they cheered him on for another successful capture. hawks let out an exhausted sigh, but floated down to greet his fans nonetheless. there even happened to be press.

"hawks! you were amazing out there!" "great work! i can always count on you!" "you looked so attractive fighting those villains!"

hawks lifted up his visor and gave the fans a handsome grin, causing a chorus of squeals. hawks glanced at one of the fans near him lips curled in a smirk, mouth ready to open and say a few lines that would send arrows straight to the heart when he subconsciously stopped himself.

closing his mouth, he gave her a gentle smile before a soft reply came out, "thank you for supporting me."

it was weird of him to respond to fans in such fashion, but your words were stuck in the back of his head. he wished he could have acted this way before you two broke it off, it would have saved a lot of heartache.

hawks hoped you would notice his change. and unbeknownst to him, you had.

your eyes were glued to the television that aired the news that also happened to feature your ex-boyfriend, hawks. your heart felt fuzzy as you watched him, he seemed different...more down to earth?

"your eyes haven't left the tv since hawks appeared," mirko comments causing you to avert your eyes embarrassed. "i was just interested in the news for today, that's all," you tried but knew mirko wouldn't buy into your lie.

"yeah, okay. keep telling yourself that," she chuckles as she she sits down beside you. "so, whats going on in that head of yours now?"

"he's different now, rumi," you state, eyes drifting back to the screen. "he's talking to his fans like they're fans." your shoulders slump sadly, "i wish he was like this when we were together...i guess he really doesn't care about me after all."

mirko lets out a grunt as she listens to your moping. turning towards her, you notice her adjusting her purple thigh high socks to sit snugly against her upper thighs, "you have patrol this evening?"

"yep, my turn for an evening patrol. they're not that bad, more bad guys come out at night," she jokes with chuckle but you don't find it funny. "i know you can easily beat them, but that doesn't mean i worry any less for you," you sigh. "stay safe please."

"will do, cry baby," she jokes once more causing you to angrily pout, "i'm not a cry baby!" "says the one crying over hawks. bye!" and with that she quickly leaves out the door before you could throw a pillow at her.

rolling your eyes playfully, you walk over toward the bedroom you shared with mirko. you had a nice futon on the floor beside of her bed that surprisingly was very comfy. organizing her room a bit and folding her clothes she tossed around, you tried to busy yourself until she came back.

which was surprisingly short.

you heard the main door swing open before hearing her move around the living room and kitchen. she must've forgotten something, you thought to yourself as you made your way toward the bedroom door you had previously closed behind you.

"rumi? did you forget something?" you ask as you open the door, just to find yourself staring at the stranger in the apartment who donned a black ski mask with some sort of weapon in their hand. unfortunately your voice had caught their attention and their head quickly turned toward you before bolting it down the hallway for you.

screaming, you quickly shut the door and locked it before the thief could get in. the rattle of the doorknob causes you to let out another shriek as you looked around for a way to protect yourself and to escape.

the only solution that came to your mind was to block the door with whatever heavy furniture mirko had on her room which consisted of her bed, a desk and her clothes drawers. you did your best to block the door, but it was proving to be not enough.

"open the door and i won't hurt you miss," the voice called out and you felt your stomach twist from their words.

you scurried around to look for your phone and thankfully found it amongst this chaos and your body went on auto-pilot and dialed the first person that came to your mind whenever you were in danger.

your shaky hand brought your phone to your ear as you ran into the furthest corner of her room. your free hand covering your trembling lips. please pick up.

"hello? (name)?"

"keigo please help me," you cried quietly so the person on the other side couldn't hear you, but the desperation in your voice was clear as day for hawks. "(name)? whats happening? where are you?" his voice was now firm and laced with worry as you began to sob in through the phone.

"i'm at mirko's and she just left for patrol but someone broke in and i hid myself in her room. i'm so scared, please come quick." and right after he heard you squeak in fear from the unidentified noises through your phone.

"i'm coming right now," you could hear the power his wings had as he lift himself into the sky, "does she have any windows you can exit from?" glancing behind you, you took a mental note that her windows were large enough for you to escape through—the only problem was mirko lived on the tenth floor.

squeezing your eyes shut, you nodded even though hawks could not see you, "yeah, but she doesn't have any escape ladders and i'm on the tenth floor." hawks cursed under his breath on the other side, "just hold on, i'm almost there."

clutching onto your phone, you jumped when the barricade you made against the door was getting tossed around from the force of the stranger on the other side trying to break in. scrambling around, you quickly unlocked the window before opening it, allowing the wind to flow in.

with another jolt from the door all of your barricades flew from the door, leaving it vulnerable. you knew the door would fall with his next move, so with trembling hands, you maneuvered your body outside the window, letting your bottom sit on the window frame.

from a distance, you could hear someone calling out your name. when you narrowed your eyes to focus, all of the stress left your body as you watched them shoot towards you. hawks had come to your rescue!

but hawks wasn't close enough.

the door behind you broke allowing the stranger into the room and before they could grab a hold of you, you jumped.

"(name)!"

as your body free fell down towards the earth, hawks used his wings to give himself one strong push forward before folding his wings tightly behind his back to gain speed to reach you.

reaching his arms out, he caught you in time before shooting back up towards the sky, "that was so stupid of you!" you shouted loudly against the wind, "what if i wasn't there in time?"

glancing up at him, you gave him a small smile, "i just knew you'd get to me in time ."

-

"agh, more paperwork i have to fill out!" mirko groans as she walks around her messy apartment after hawks and her had caught the suspect and had cops take care of him. as she walked away into her bedroom with a line of curses, you quietly turned over towards hawks who had his back facing you. he was on call with the commission.

"yep, i'll get that finished tomorrow," ending his call and stuffing his phone in his pocket, he turns around to find you staring at him. his cheeks flush slightly from the sudden eye contact, but he managed to compose himself. "are you doing alright? that must've been quite the terrifying experience."

"yeah, thanks for picking up. you were the first person i thought to call," you confess and he perks up. "oh yeah?"

"you've always kept me safe and i just really needed you when i was in danger. so thanks," giving him a smile he mirrors you. "of course, anything for you."

your heart flutters from his words, but you slightly turn yourself away, glancing down. you two were no longer dating, so there was no need to get butterflies over him again. "well, thanks again. you must have a busy day tomorrow."

"do you buy any chance still have that photo of you when you were out with mirko?" hawks asks suddenly causing you to glance up at him. "you know, when you two went out a couple weeks ago? you were all dolled up and honestly, just super pretty?" hawks says boldly with a sheepish grin.

"why are you asking?"

"send it my way."

you gawked at him, "you want me to send you a picture of me? we're not dating anymore, that would be weird!" hawks could only shrug, "okay, that's simple then. let's go on a date." you gawked even further, "what is going on inside of that bird brain? all this for a photo?"

"i want to be the one who takes those photos of you. i want to be the reason you get all dolled up. i know i messed up, (name). i've been changing the way i talk to my fans because i understand how i hurt you. could you give me another chance to make it better? i promise i will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

this was coming too suddenly, your wounds were just starting to heal.

"you...you don't mean that, hawks," you say dejectedly as you back up to sit on mirko's couch. "i'm scared."

"he means it you know?" mirko pops out of the hallway suddenly and stands with her arms crossed against her chest as she stares at the two of you. "he's been asking me for that picture nonstop since he saw it online."

"but he really does love you still, (name) and i know you still love him too. go ahead and give it another shot, i'll be here to kick him to the curb if he does anything bad to you." she encourages, making you glance back towards hawks.

"promise?" your eyes are sparkly from the tears that had glossed over your eyes and hawks gives you a confident nod, "promise. i'll pick you up at six tomorrow?"

you couldn't help your growing smile, "yeah, i'll be waiting."

- e x t r a -

as hawks flew off towards his apartment, the notification ding of his phone went off causing him to take a look. you had sent him a text!

opening the message his eyes widen from the photo you sent, it was the cute pic of you all dolled up!

"i'm so in love!" he shouts loudly in the sky.

#hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x you #mha x reader #my hero academia x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #keigo x reader #takami keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Attention feat Kazutora Hanemiya

author note :  I was obsessed with this TikTok and couldn’t kick it out my mind, now I’m not sure if it’s actually his Seiyuu who is dubbed it but it sure felt like it. I can’t breath anymore lol. It feels good to be able to write ngl. Enjoy ♡ 

-->If you’re curious you can find the TikTok right here 

Warning : SFW but I can make a NSFW version if you’re asking for it / It’s not Spoiler-free so  if you didn’t catch up with the manga you’ll be spoiled I’m sorry but stay safe ♡ 

Masterlist

i do not own those pictures they came from Pinterest so credit to their owner

it's kinda short to my apologies I would do better next time

Kazutora Hanemiya 羽宮ハネミヤ一虎カズトラ

I can’t see him dating anyone before the time skip, even if we got proof that he was interested into people (we all see the way he was looking when he was at the beach). But during this time, he was a teenager more over he already a family, people who he cared about. He just didn’t feel the need to add a significant other, he has his family, he had Toman.

Now I’m not saying that he wouldn’t date anyone when he was a teenager but he was so focused on Toman on his family than I can’t believe he got time to date someone, especially since he was busy kicking ass with his friends Baji.

But no matter if you met him during his teenage, after he left the juvenile prison or when he left prison. You’re going to need some patience with him. He has lived a lot of things. He is still a broken man who is this close of loosing his entire mind.

I believe that I first you would be the only one working on this relationship, I mean you would do the whole flirty thing and at first he’ll barley interact with you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel proud for your compliment and that he isn’t happy that you are interested in him. It just that everytime he felt close to someone, they either die or just left him.

He wasn’t sure if he was mentally, physically, emotionally ready for any kind of relationship

So yeah at first you would be the only to text/call first, you’ll be the only who is taking news might be the only one to think about where to go out together.

Most of the times you would feel insecure, after all he was so handsome maybe he just didn’t care about you ? Maybe you were bothering him ? Maybe he wasn’t interested in you and was just giving you a favor when he was answering back.

You would feel as if he didn’t care all as if your love was unrequited

But don’t worry about it, this situation wouldn’t last as long as you thought it would will.

His walls will finally shattered down and he’ll feel like he can finally be himself with you, showing you his insecurity, providing you all the love his broken heart got.

When this will happen, my my, you signed for the clingiest boyfriend of all time (top 3 at least)

I’m not kidding I just feel it, the boy got a lot of loves and needs to give and receiving (especially receiving).

You know those cliche movie where the boyfriend climb into your house so he could reach your bedroom ? He will do it, especially if he got free times and he felt lonely. Kazutora will just randomly climb into your bedroom and will knock at it with a lovely smile as if everything was normal (for fuck sake use the damn door baby boi).

He loves hugs whether he is the one who is been hugged of if you’re the one, either way he is fine as long as he gets close to you. Your warmth tends to relax him. He might even fall asleep if you’re stroking his hair or his neck (bonus point if you’re tracing the ink mark of his tattoo)

I feel like he loves kissing you too ? Like he just can’t stop kissing you ? He is an addict kisser. Like one day you were visiting him at the petshop dropping him a bento because you wanted to spoil your boyfriend. Even though he claimed to Chifuyu that he wasn’t tired 5min before you were here, suddenly he felt like he needs his 10min break. Guess who finds themselves being pushed against the wall as their boyfriends was kissing them deeply ? You. And he just didn’t kiss you once, no no that would be too simple, he will kiss you again and again one hand holding yours against the wall the other would be either on your cheek or on your neck. Good luck to find your breath after that. Believe me when I say that even when you were about to leave him so you could go back to school or whenever you were expected, Kazutora will take your hands in his to bring you against his chest to steal you a couple of kisses before finally leaving you.

Like I said he is an addict.

I can see him as the type to sometimes grab both of your cheeks with his hand and then kiss you, again and again.

He jus loves being close to you, so when you two are out for a date or just because you got the chance to meet him while you were going home. Kazu won’t hesitate and hold your hand stroking it with his fingers.

Holding hand is a minimum for him to best honestly

If he could he’d rather spend all of his time in your arms humming your smell getting warmth against you. But he can’t, so he is going to appreciate every occasion he got to get you close to him.

Since you’re his significant other Kazutora will be extra protector when it came to you, not afraid of threatening anyone that might be a bother to you.

Also he is jealous, he knows he shouldn’t feel like this especially since you’re always giving so much love and attention. But he can’t help but feel insecure, he knows what he is capable of, he knows his past, he knows what he has done, he is not perfect and certainly does not deserve love coming from such a piece of heaven like you. Yeah there would be time when Kazutora might be sad, feel down, and even though he’ll work on it so you won’t see it (afraid that you might be disappointed and will leave him) but you can tell that he is not feeling well.

Please, hold him tightly, tell him you love him, reminds him of much you cared about him, show him that there is no reason for him to be afraid. He just needs reassurance that you are here for good and that one day he wouldn’t wake up without you by side.

I just feel like he loves sleeping next to you, just the thought of sharing the same bed as him and getting the chance of waking up with you next to him is just his definition of heaven.

I also feel like is a tease, not on Mikey’s level, but I feel like sometimes out of nowhere Kazu will tickle you or whispering you something just to get to see your face turning red and then chuckle.

He is also the type to always give you his sweatshirt/coat, you don’t even need to be cold, if he noticed that you had been looking at his cloth or if you just compliment it boom its around your shoulder. It can be a way to show his possessiveness, like everyone would know that you belong to him who knows ? At least you won’t be cold.

He also the type to lay down on your bed and look at you with a loving smile, whether you were sleeping or not he doesn’t stop him from slightly stroking your cheeks bone, your cheek or even your lips loving the feeling of his hand/finger on your skin. It’s so smooth and soft he just can’t help.

Sometimes especially when he is sleepy, he will whisper things into your ear, kiss your all over your face.

A sucker for worshiping (do it for himself too)

Also he is not afraid to tell you he loves you, he might be not the first one to confess but once he knows that you love him. « I love you y/n » would be the first thing you will hear while waking up also the last thing before sleeping.

I think he might like the thought of you styling his hair even if all you’ve done was putting some cute clips on his hair he likes it and will even let you take picture. He is a sucker for your smile

Buy him jewelry and he will never take them off especially ring or necklace he just loves seeing you marking your territory.

As I stated before he is probably the type to overthinking a lot, like one day if you didn’t give the smile you used to give him, he is 100% you’ll dump him at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s not as bad as that, like you called him by his last name to tease him, he’ll just pout at you and then give you kiss all over your and won’t stop until you called him either by his name or by a nickname. But yes sometimes if you’re acting a little bit too cold to him he’ll think that your relationship is over, and will start to panic no knowing what to do to keep you by his side.

That’s the think with Kazutora he loves you more than he loves himself so he knows as a fact that he will be lost without you (not the only one to be honest but that’s for another headcanon)

So obviously you’ll need to be careful but since you’re still a human keep in mind to check him after if you’ve done something that let him think you guys were over.

Also, I can picture him to sometimes disappear. Like no one know where he is, not even you. He never left for too long (worst case : he leaves for a day), but sometimes he feels like he needs to be alone, like really alone. So he isolated himself for everyone, no one will know where he left, what he has done. But when he came back he always got that peaceful smile, the one where is eyes got nothing but regrets in them.

You feel like he spent his time in front of Baji ans Shinichiro’s grave, cause even years after this incident he couldn’t forgive himself for what he’s done to them. He can’t forgive him. Since he is lucky to be alive, sometimes he needs to see them in order to give him some strength in order to stay alive.

All the time when he is zoning out, you know he is thinking about all the bad things he has done to the people he cares the most, and even though he is working hard to be a better person what was done can’t be undone. Again hold his hand, stroke his hair do whatever you can to help him staying safe and not falling into his old demons.

Protect him at all cost.

Tag : @kshira

#tokyo revengers #tr #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora x reader #kazutora hanemiya x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tr kazutora #Tokyo Revengers headcanon #Kazutora headcanon #Kazutora hanemiya headcanon #Kazutora smut #Tokyo Revengers smut #Kazutora x you #Kazutora hanemiya x you

[softjakehoon]

Can We Pretend?

Pairing: Idol Jay/Reader

Warnings: Smut. For 18+ only, minors dni.

Includes: Corruption kink, friends with benefits, protected sex, squirting, mild choking, slight biting, rough sex.

Authors note: I might edit this later. I apologize for any errors, I wrote this at 5 am instead of sleeping. Lmao.

------

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, in case you wanted to back down. 

You were watching a drama just a couple of minutes ago when he kissed you by surprise. You remember teasing him and questioning his innocence because of a scene in the drama where the main leads were hugging before having sex for the first time. 

Your brain stopped functioning for a while to remember how it all came to this. 

"Pft. Who the fuck hugs before having sex?" You almost choked on your drink out of laughter. 

"Why? Isn't that a normal thing for couples?" Jay asked you with innocence plastered on his face. 

"Are you being serious? You.. don't tell me you're still a virgin?" You were so shocked that you had to pause the drama you're both watching. 

"What's wrong with being a virgin? Also, you already know I haven't dated anyone in my life, why are you so shocked?" His lips pouting cutely as he argued.

"But that was 3 years ago, Jay. You're literally 21 now, you need to get laid." You teased him out of habit. A sting of pain suddenly grazing your heart at the thought of your best friend on someone else's bed.

"As if I have the time for that. Besides, I can't just hook up with anyone. I have a reputation to protect as an idol." He's right, you nodded in response. A sudden thought crossing your mind. 

"Wait a minute, how do you release tension then? Do you just get off by yourself or?" Your face inspecting his eyes closely for some hint. "Don't tell me you don't jack off either?" You were beyond shocked by his blank expression, showing no sign of guilt at all. 

"Holy shit, how do you even do that? You poor thing." You taunted him. 

"Enough, y/n. I'm fine, I have a lot of ways to release stress. Unless, you want to offer yourself to help." Jay knew he wasn't thinking straight when he said this but he maintained his cool and unbothered expression to see how you would react. 

"You want us to be fuck buddies, is that it? Fine, I'll help you." You weren't sure why you agreed without giving it a second thought. But you know deep inside you've been in love with Jay for 6 years already. For all those years, you tried so hard not to be overly affectionate and clingy to the boy you liked the most--in fear of him drifting away from you. You wanted to be someone constant in his life, someone he can go to whenever he needs someone to lean on. You wanted to be his soulmate. 

You've done a great job so far, but you're not sure anymore. How the hell are you going to manage pretending from now on? When you're overly sentimental and you tend to give meaning to every single thing he does. 

"What? How can you agree so fast?" He jokingly covered his mouth, pretending to be shocked. 

"What? Do you want me to take it back? It's not like this is my first time having sex anyway." You tried to act cool as much as possible, pretending that this setup isn't that much of a big deal at all. 

"Right. I'm not. But you're gonna be my first." You're almost sure he sounded hurt when he said that while looking deeply in your eyes. 

You couldn't resist it anymore. You wanted to be the one to erase his innocence but you were surprised when he kissed you first. 

You couldn't honestly tell if this is his first kiss or not because he's definitely good at it. 

You pulled away out of shock. You didn't expect him to be this good since you thought he's just gonna go for a quick peck. He looked confused at your reaction.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, in case you wanted to back down. 

"No. No, I was just shocked. I thought you were just gonna go with a quick peck, that's all." For some reason you can't look directly in his eyes. You're sure of it. If you do, you're gonna fall for him again, like you always do. 

"Well, we're not gonna go further with just a peck, right? Stop acting so shy, I thought you're gonna help me." He lifted your chin using his thumb, your eyes meeting in parallel. 

"You sure about this, Jay? I mean, I may get clingy after all of this. You know how sensitive I get. I tend to feel a lot of emotions." You warned him, followed by a fake laugh to ease the tension. You wanted to give him an idea of what could happen at least. 

"Then, don't. We're just using each other for sex, keep that in mind." You're aware he didn't mean to hurt you by this. He was just stating the obvious--drawing the line between the two of you for safety precaution. But this hurts, and you wanted him to take the pain all away, even just for a while. 

You kissed him roughly in frustration. He picked up your pace quickly, he really is a fast learner, you thought. And his lips, they're small and cute but they felt so damn good on yours. You grabbed his face, feeling every inch of his jawline, circling your fingertips on the mark on his neck. You looked deep into his eyes before gently sucking on it. He moaned at the contact, grabbing a fistful of your hair gently and pulling you back to a kiss. 

"Don't leave marks, y/n. I have a photoshoot tomorrow." He said, firmly. 

"Too bad. Wanted to fucking mark you as proof of getting your virginity taken." You chuckled. 

"Let me mark you instead, then. Proof that I let you take it." He whispered into your ear, biting into it gently, and kissing your neck while sucking on your skin up to your cleavage. 

You moaned from the sensation. You're already melting from his touch, you couldn't help but to rub your thighs together, wanting some kind of pleasure on your core as soon as possible. 

"Jay, I want your cock in me so bad." You whined, desperate to feel him inside of you. You palmed his cock inside his shorts, pulling it out. This is your first time seeing your best friend's dick and it was prettier than you imagined it would be. And you always thought he would be huge, but this doesn't even compare to the one in your dreams. The length, the girth, the tip of his cock, all red from arousal, leaking with precum already. Your mouth is watering from the sight. 

You couldn't help it. You dropped on your knees, eyes levelled to his crotch. You pumped his dick with your small hands, earning a gasp from him. You circled your tongue in his tip, gathering all the precum in it before fully deep throating him. He let out a growl this time, surprised by your sudden action. "Fuck, y/n. That's it, your mouth feels so good." You hummed in his dick, sending vibrations to his senses. You kept bobbing your head up and down, making sure to go as deep as you can, his tip hitting your throat making you slightly gag. You pulled it out for a moment to spit on it, and put it back inside your mouth, sucking him sloppily.

"Fuck, y/n. I'm close, keep going." Your jaw is starting to hurt a little, but you wanted to taste him so bad. You continued sucking him off while cupping his balls, massaging them gently. 

"Fuck, I'm cumming." He tried to get you off of him but you wrapped your arms around his thighs, pulling him closer. His cock, burying in your throat even deeper as he cummed. You looked up to him, eyes closed and mouth open from the pleasure. His head tilted back, and his hair slightly wet from sweat. The view of him from below caused a pool of wetness in your core. You milked him dry and swallowed his load without hesitation. 

"Shit, y/n. That's just.. insane. Come here, I wanna taste you too." He helped you get up, both of you smiling from ecstasy. 

You sat up on the couch, your thighs closed involuntarily trying to hide your arousal. "Can I?" He looked into your eyes, asking for permission if he could eat you out like a gentleman that he is. 

"Y-yes." You shyly answered. This is the first time someone is getting down on you after all. Your ex never liked foreplay and always went on ahead with penetration every single time that it hurts most of the time. Nervous of what's to come, you covered your face with your hands, not wanting him to see your state. 

"Let me see your pretty face, y/n. I wanna see how good I'm making you feel." He grabbed your wrist and placed your hand on his head, giving you something to hold on to while he flicks his tongue in your clit. He looked at you, your head tilted on the side, your mouth open releasing soft moans. He took the chance to put two fingers in your mouth, making you suck on them only to put them inside your cunt. He continued thrusting his fingers in and out while licking and sucking your bud, driving you insane from the pleasure, your arousal dripping down his chin generously. 

You grabbed his hair firmly as you focused on reaching your climax, clenching on his fingers. "Jay, I.. I'm gonna cum." You're almost out of breath at this point. 

He curled his fingers, hitting your g-spot several times that had you squirting around his digits. He eased you from your high, fucking your hole with his tongue and sucking on your juices. He looked up to you with lust all written in his face. His cheeks and chin, all wet and covered with your scent. 

"I always knew you'd taste good. Though I didn't know you're a squirter." He chuckled and sat on the couch. 

"Shut up. It's because it felt too good." You got up and climbed on his lap. He grabbed your ass to spread them and began kissing you again. The taste of his cum and yours both mixing in your mouth as you kiss him back. You began grinding at his erection, coating his length with your juices as he guided you by your waist. 

You're getting impatient at this point, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside you. You felt Jay searching for something in the corner of the couch, eventually bringing out a condom. 

"Why do you have that there?" You asked him, curious if he knew this would happen. 

"The boys left it here just in case. Didn't know I'd be the one to use it though." He tore the packaging and started rolling it down to the base of his cock. 

"You're such a good boy, aren't you?" You smiled at him.

"I don't think so." He whispered in your ear and bit your jaw, leaving a slight mark. You moaned a little bit louder this time. Surprised that it didn't hurt at all. "Aren't you such a pain slut? You're getting turned on by that? Huh?" His voice is so deep and velvety, making you clench your walls on nothing.

You started positioning yourself in his cock, slowly sinking down while biting your lip. He gasped from the unfamiliar sensation when he felt his tip enter you. You made sure to bottom all the way down, training your cunt to adjust to his size. 

"Shit. Move for me, baby. Be a good girl and ride my cock." He's holding you by your waist, pinning you down roughly. 

"Fuck, Jay. Your cock is so deep in me." You continued bouncing up and down, grinding back and forth on his cock from time to time whenever your legs would start to get tired.

Jay sensed that you’re starting to slow down so he started thrusting deep and sloppily into your core. You tried to meet his every thrust, biting your lips to keep yourself from screaming.

“Jay, I’m close.” He wrapped his right hand on your neck gently, while his left hand stayed at your waist. You're left at his mercy at this point. He’s in charge of the moment, giving you a smack on your ass as he growls from the intense pleasure.

“Cum for me, y/n.” With a couple of thrusts, you reached your orgasm, your walls convulsing around Jay’s cock that sent him to the edge as well.

He stayed inside you for a moment as both of you tried to catch your breath and then he pulled out after, discarding the condom in the trash bin.

He helped you get up and prepared a warm bath for you to enjoy. He knows that both of you just entered a complicated situation but he doesn’t regret it. As long as he’s with you, nothing else matters. 

#enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen dirty imagines #enhypen jay #enhypen jay x reader