#that's such an asshole thing to do - i don't get why everyone in the church is so amused

[abs0luteb4stard]

#The Big Lebowski #baby #Eastern Orthodox #that's weird #funny #shaken baby syndrome #baptism #that's such an asshole thing to do - i don't get why everyone in the church is so amused #the context of the video is funny #but the actual real life tossing a baby around like that is so dumb #those old cocksuckers never heard of shaken baby syndrome? #these babies are crying and inhaling water i wouldn't be surprised if some got pneumonia! #these priests gotta be killed one day

[insxghtt]

do you hate me? — euronymous x mean girl!reader

Maybe Euronymous liked you more than he should.

warnings: beating nazis i guess (you'll understand). mostly fluff as always.

this is a fanfic for RORY CULKIN ONLY. i don't even know the real story of mayhem really, i just watched the movie and to be honest i didn't even like it so....... idk sorry, i am in my rory culkin era and i will make it everyone's problem.

The first time Euronymous saw you, you were not in a good mood.

Well, it was difficult to ever see you in a good mood. You came from a not so loving family, so you learned how to defend yourself from a very young age. It’s not like you chose it, you just learned that there were two types of people in the world: the ones who fight, and the ones who get hurt. It was about survival, so you did what you had to do, you built your walls and they were fucking strong.

Some people would be surprised. Euronymous was. You didn’t look very threatening, that was a fact. You liked pink, you loved makeup, you had a sweet smile. It's why he felt so confused when he first saw you walking inside his record store.

Your hair was tied in a bun, your earrings were golden, the pink shirt you were wearing ended just above your stomach, showing off your belly piercing. Your boot-cut jeans and high heels completed your look. You were definitely not fitting in. All the other people in the store were either wearing all black clothes or something dark with a weird band logo in it.

A couple boys tried to scare you as soon as you stepped in, yelling “Hail Satan!” right at your face.

Euronymous smirked, wondering how long it would take for you to realize that you walked in the wrong store.

But you weren't scared. In fact, you stared at the two boys in complete silence. For a moment, they laughed, but soon their smiles began to fade out. Something about your look, your presence and even the way you chewed your gum was fucking scary.

“The fuck you lookin’ at?”, you asked angrily and the two boys just looked away, too afraid to say anything else. “Fuckin’ assholes”, you whispered to yourself as you walked to the balcony, where Euronymous was still staring at you, but this time with surprise.

You stopped right in front of him. The look on your face was serious, and he felt the urge to say something that would make your face twist in disgust. After all, it was his favorite thing to do.

“You sure you’re in the right place, cupcake?”, he jokes.

You just ignored his question.

“Listen, I need a dark fucking mindblowing death metal album or some shit like that, what do you have?”

“This is fucking Helvete. Everything here is metal”, he laughed and leaned on the balcony.

You sighed and rolled your eyes. “Okay, mister… whatever the fuck your name is…”

“Euronymous”, he added. “My name is Euronymous.”

You felt his friends around looking at you.

“Of course it is…”, you continued, feeling impatient to leave that place. “Look, I have a brother who’s into this…”, you gestured with your hands to the records around. “...type of shit and tomorrow is his birthday. I don’t know if your brain is rational enough to notice, but this is really not my thing, so I’m gonna need some help, okay?”, you gave him a sarcastic smile.

Euronymous liked it. The attitude, the way you were not threatened by anyone there at all. Shit, he even liked the lip gloss in your lips and he was far away from being a lip gloss admirer.

And he had no idea why he liked it.

“Alright”, he nodded, not taking his eyes away from you for even a second. “So, is he really into it or is he a poser?”

You had no idea what he was talking about. “You’re asking me if he’s a satanic freak who wants to burn down churches and eat priests for breakfast?”

“Wow, she’s fast”, he said with a smile and his friends laughed.

“Yes, he is.”

“Alright”, he said, disappearing behind the balcony to grab something.

He knew exactly what you needed. That is, if your friend was not a poser, of course. He grabbed his own band’s record and showed it to you.

You stared at the record and looked back at him. “Okay…”

“It’s my band.”

“This is weird”, you whispered to yourself and the guy in front of you gave you a smirk. “Whatever, how much for it?”

“If you give me your number, it’s for free.”

“That’s not happening, but I appreciate your trying.”

You paid for it as you watched one of his weird friends putting the record in a plastic bag. Euronymous made sure to take it from his friend's hand to give it to you himself and when you grabbed the bag, you felt his fingers touching your hand.

"Freak", you whispered to yourself and he laughed as you turned away to leave.

Euronymous wouldn't say it out loud but he even found himself thinking of you after that.

The second time he saw you, you were beating the shit out of a boy outside of a bar. The boy was on the ground already wrapped up in a ball.

"Fuckin' nazi!", you yelled as you kicked the guy on the stomach one last time. 

Later, he found out that you were very good at beating the shit out of nazis.

As soon as you noticed Euronymous watching you sent him a deadly look. Euronymous would even be scared if he wasn't… well, himself. That was one thing you had in common, you two were not easily threatened.

"What do you want?", you asked.

"Nothing", he shrugged and grabbed a cigarette from his pocket, putting it between his lips.

He turned away for a second but soon he turned back to you, removing the cigarette from his lips and putting it back in his pocket. You stared at him curious to what he had to say and he thought to himself if he should really say it.

But you only live once, right?

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Euronymous felt nervous as he watched you thinking about it.

But it was only a drink, right?

So to his relief, you also shrugged and nodded.

You two walked in the bar and he did buy you not one, but two, three, four drinks. You found yourself laughing at one of his jokes at some point and you wondered if it was the alcohol or if you were actually enjoying his presence.

"So, why did you move here?", he asked with a smile. "I mean, it's not like this is a dream city."

"Well, I like it here", you said. "And also the rent is cheap."

He laughed, but didn't say anything. Then you realized he wasn't satisfied with your answer. He wanted to know why.

"I ran away", you answered honestly.

"What did you run away from?"

Maybe if it was anyone else, this would be the perfect moment for you to push them away like you always did. But it wasn't anyone, it was him. And you enjoyed talking to him.

"My family. I ran away from my family."

Euronymous nodded, knowing that there was a line that he couldn't cross yet. Of course, he could ask more. He wanted to, but more than that, he wanted you to do that by yourself.

"I get it", he said.

"Of course you do."

Euronymous looked at you, so you explained. "Look at you, all angry at the world."

"My family is pretty nice, actually."

This time you were the one feeling surprised.

"Really? So you're a family guy?", you asked. "Then why do you act like you hate everyone?"

He thought about it for a second.

"I can still hate everyone except for my family", he gave you a smirk.

You smiled. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the fact that he had those big beautiful blue eyes, but you were mesmerized by how pretty he was.

"Do you hate me?", you whispered as you got closer to his face.

Euronymous stared at your lips. You were so different from him and he, for some reason, was loving it.

"No…", he whispered back.

He didn’t kiss you that night. You turned away before he could do that, distracted by a song playing in the background. You stood up from your chair and offered him your hand, asking him to dance with you. Euronymous hated that song and if it was anyone else asking him to dance, he would immediately decline and leave. But it wasn't anyone, it was you.

So he danced with you. The first minutes he had a frown on his face, but it faded away as soon as he saw you almost tripping on your own feet. He tried to hide his laugh as he held your waist, but you knew he was enjoying this more than he wanted to assume.

Soon, you two were dancing to songs that he swore to never dance to. Euronymous knew that if any of his friends saw him like that, they would probably lose all the respect they had towards him. But then again, he asked himself if he even cared.

And the truth was that he didn’t. He didn't care about anything else other than you at that moment.

#rory culkin x y/n #rory culkin #rory culkin x reader #culkin brothers #scream 4 #charlie walker x y/n #charlie walker x reader #charlie walker #lords of chaos #in my rory culkin era #rory culkin fanfic #rory culkin lords of chaos #jack goes home #jack thurlow #jack thurlow x reader #ollie sway #ollie sway x reader #writers on tumblr #writer #writing #female writers

[delopsia]

Something Unholy | Rhett Abbot x Reader

Word Count: 3,600 Cross Posted on AO3 Warnings & Notes: 18+, Fem!Reader, unprotected sex in a church, mild size-kink, and a dash of Rhett having a corruption kink and getting off on the idea of cumming inside you.

"I sure hope you ain't tellin' me what to do, dollface."

Oh, the things you would give to wrap both your hands around this motherfuckers thick neck and—

"—Can you please, just put the paper towels on the shelf?" Speaking in the firmest tone you can muster, cheeks flaming so hot you fear they may turn cherry red.

"And why does this have to involve me?" God, Rhett just keeps going; the choir girls are starting to notice, casting wayward glances from under false lashes as they whisper amongst each other behind open palms.

"Because you're tall enough to reach the shelf, and I'm not," pushing the paper towels toward him once more, forcing him to take them, "and if God wanted me to put them up there, he would have made me taller, or he would have given me a stepping stool."

For the first time all morning, Rhett's quiet, and for as much as he's fussed about this, you'd think this momentous task would take him longer than three seconds to complete. You're starting to see why Cece doesn't drag him along to Sunday services more often.

He continues to loom in the corner, leaning up against the wall like some sort of hot shot whilst he just watches. Wild blue eyes follow your every movement as you finish setting up the coffee booth like he's getting some sort of enjoyment out of watching you mull about. Doesn't offer help, just watches.

Asshole.

As soon as you start to walk away, ready to settle into the corner of an old, stained church pew, he pushes off the wall and starts to walk too. Like a shadow, following each and every step until all of a sudden, you're sitting between the end of the bench and Rhett Abbott.

"Do you have to sit so close to me?" Grumbling, you try to scoot further off, but there's not enough space for you to do so.

Rhett's jeaned thigh presses harder against your own, "yes, I do, actually."

"You're an ass," it comes out louder than you intend to, but if anyone overhears, they don't mention it. Not yet, at least.

"Wow, swearing in church now, are we?" Smug.

You're still contemplating strangling him right here and now; an attempted murder charge sounds a lot better than sitting in this hell for an hour and a half. The bastard is probably into it, knowing his reputation. The only thing that actually stops you from finding out is the sudden booming voice from the podium, commanding all eyes and ears on him, silence falling upon the room.

Usually, the preacher's go-to is to have everyone shake hands and welcome one another, but you're thankful that he skips right over the tradition in favor of jumping straight into his speech. A direct continuation of last week's sermon, according to the woman whispering behind you. You're not quite sure how, but you know Rhett would have given you more trouble if you got up to greet people.

As if on cue, a calloused hand settles on your exposed knee, just below the hem of your Sunday dress. Maybe it's because the air conditioner is running in the middle of December, but his hand feels so hot you fear it may melt right through your skin.

"Rhett," whispering as quietly as you can, "get your hands off me."

It only serves to make your situation worse because he leans over to whisper directly into your ear, "seems to me you're in need of someone to keep you warm."

Teeth nip at the lobe of your ear, tugging on it for a fleeting second. His hand slides off your knee, if only for a muscular arm to drape over your shoulders instead. Great, absolutely wonderful.

But God, he's warm, and he's changed his started wearing that seasonal cologne he wears every December. Something bordering hot chocolate and vanilla, not overly sweet but so, so warm. It matches him in the strangest of ways, you conclude, as you reluctantly melt into his side.

Okay, this is...alright. There are several couples doing this very thing in front of you, nothing weird about this at all. It's not like you can argue when Rhett is practically a blazing furnace right next to you; this dress is cute, but it definitely was not made for the colder months. 

For a long minute, all you find yourself doing is curling into Rhett Abbott's side and listening to the preacher's voice as it grows louder and louder. A relaxed conversation about coming clean to those around you devolves into a rant about sinners and sex before marriage. The longer it goes, the stiffer Rhett becomes next to you, until all of a sudden, he's drawing away from you.

Without a word, he gets up and walks out. 

Strangely, you don't hear the front doors squeak open, nor do you feel the icy draft that always sneaks inside. For a minute, you reckon he's just gone to the men's room. The more time passes, the more you don't think that's so true. 

Fifteen minutes after Rhett vanished, you excuse yourself and quietly venture out into the hallway. 

"Rhett?" You try, but your voice vanishes under the preacher's louder one.

Even so, the felt brim of a cowboy hat pokes out from behind a door, dark brown in color and a little ripped in the front. You only know one man with a hat like that. It seems he didn't hear you because he's eyes brighten at the sight of you like he's been waiting on you to come looking for him this whole time. 

"There you are," he breathes, struggling to fight off the shit-eating grin that's working its way across his face as he reaches for you. "Did I even manage to get under your skin?" 

"I thought you were kidding when you suggested this shit," you hiss, but you don't stop him from guiding you into this tiny little office space with its large mahogany desk and beat-up loveseat. "Of course, you got under my skin, you ass!"

Rhett shoves you down onto the couch with a soft thump and drops to his knees so swiftly that you hear them hit the floor. The force of it jostles his hat, but he's not concerned in the slightest with readjusting it, "good." 

There's no teasing or beating around the bush in the way he pulls your hips toward the edge of the couch, rucking the skirt of your dress up in the process, "then I suppose you won't mind me making it up to you?" 

Hot breath ghosts up your cold thighs, sparks a newfound heat directly between your legs. Okay, that, that...

"Was this your plan all along?" Leaning into the cushions of the couch, this is all so sudden, but you're not one to complain when his nose is brushing against the only fabric he hasn't pushed to the side yet. 

"Do you expect anything less from me, darlin'?" Long lashes bat themselves up at you as he speaks, bordering devilish in tone and something soft in gaze. 

A hot tongue drags up the front of your panties, forces eye contact as he does so. So much all at once, but not enough. The vague pressure of his tongue isn't enough when there's such a thin layer of cotton separating him from where you want him. Only when you're about to pull them off yourself does he reach up and hook his fingers under the thin elastic waistband. 

"Bring your hips up, doll," murmuring into your thigh, and you're just barely able to muster the strength to do so. 

Finally, finally, he pulls your panties off, neatly folding and tucking them into his back pocket like a trophy. Sure hope you get those back; those are one of your current favorites. 

Your thoughts are cut short by the sudden sensation of a dripping tongue swirling at your clit, sloppy and oh-so-wet. It's so abrupt that you find yourself jolting away, only to be drawn back in by steady hands on your hips, holding you in place as he licks you up and down in fat stripes. 

"Rhett," gasping for a breath you can't seem to catch, "fuck, did you forget we're in church?" 

He hums into you, sends a shock wave up your spine with it. His wandering tongue finds your entrance, lapping at it incessantly but not quite pushing inside at first. The tip of his nose bumps against your clit, "been thinkin' of havin' you on my tongue since that alarm went off this mornin'." 

"So that's why you volunteered to come along?" Whining as he nods his head, "bastard—ah!" 

Just like that, Rhett's tongue slips inside of you, working in and out in languid thrusts as his nose presses harder into you. This little room is so quiet that you can hear the slick sound of his tongue working itself into your quivering cunt, his mouth so wet that it feels like he's drooling. 

Reaching down, he gets ahold of your thigh and guides your leg up over his shoulder, gives him better access to your writhing body. Practically fucks you open with his tongue, the soft tip of his nose bumping into your clit over and over. Enough to make you squirm, not enough to get you off. 

"Rhett, if you don't," the beginning of your threat is shaky, not intimidating even in the slightest, "get off that floor and fuck me right now."

His eyebrows raise, and his tongue slips out of you with the wettest noise you've ever heard. Fuck, he really must have been drooling, swollen, spit-slicked lips and wet chin glistening in the light, "yes, ma'am." The bastard just has to say it with a smile, too.

He makes no move to come up, though, and as his dominant hand lowers between your legs, you realize he's planning to lick you as he works you open. But you really, really want to kiss him right now. 

Lowering your leg from his shoulder, you seize him by the collar and pull. It takes him a moment to comply, and for a brief second, you think he's glued himself to that thinly-carpeted floor. With the softest whine, he rises, settling into the empty space next to you like a big ol' puppy. His eyes wide and confused, and it's not until you curl your fingers into his hair and drag him in that he realizes what you're doing.

"Kisses?" Whispering directly against your lips, surprised, but oh, does he just melt right into it. 

Soft, at first, just the simple mesh of lips that haven't touched each other since you first woke up, but then Rhett's finding his footing. Kisses you with a dizzying intensity, one hand cradling your cheek, the other slipping between your legs to tease the pad of his finger against your dripping entrance. 

You can taste yourself on his tongue. Your fingers grip his hair, pulling him closer, impossibly so, and it's so sloppy that you can't tell who's in control or who's calling the shots here. His thick finger presses into you, working in and out until he's knuckle deep, but he kisses you so softly, following your motions like a shadow. 

"Is that you clenchin' on my finger, or have I really not fucked you in a while?" His finger works in and out of you so slowly, a soft, simple motion that drags his knuckles against a gooey spot inside of you. Shit, when was—when was the last time you actually...?

"Both," you blurt, breathless, "I think this is the longest we've gone." Coincidentally, you think the last time you had sex was also on a couch. Given it was your couch and not some dingy thing in the back office of a church. 

It's only been a few weeks, three at the most, but it's been long enough for there to be a little bit of an ache as a second finger works into you. There's no way you're going to be walking out of here without a slight waddle in your step.

In and out, over and over, until he can work in a third. A thumb on your clit distracts you from the stretch, rubbing soft circles for every centimeter he eases into you. You're squirming, not sure if you're running away from the stimulation on your clit or chasing the feeling of those thick fingers delving in and out of you in short little thrusts. 

"Why are your fingers so fucking big?" Gasping as he kisses down your neck, those fingers curling against that little spot again. 

"Are they big?" And he's nibbling at the meet of your jaw, almost speaking directly into your ear, "or are you just small?" 

He's just big. 

Shaky, you fumble with his belt, absolutely relieved when you find that he isn't wearing one of those oversized rodeo buckles that are so hard to get open in times like these. Rhett chuckles against your skin, makes no effort to help or stop you as you pop the button to his jeans open. His fingers only quicken, properly fucking you with them now, and it makes it that much harder to reach past his waistband. 

"Shit," he hisses, jolting as your hand wraps around him and draws him out. Only letting him go to spit into your palm, wetting it just enough to stroke him smoothly. He's hard as a rock in your hand, heavy like one, too. Slow, he eases out of you, and with how empty you're feeling now, you hate to imagine how it's going to feel in a little bit. 

Your back hits the couch with a soft noise, the furniture creaking under the sudden placement of your weight. Then, Rhett's between your legs, the tip of his cock teasing against your freshly stretched rim but not pushing inside yet. 

"Didn't bring a condom," he breathes, "sure hope that ain't a problem, sweetheart." 

He sure doesn't sound apologetic. 

"Has it ever been a problem?" And there's more you want to say, but it's hard to speak when he presses into you, makes your back arch as he splits you wide open. 

Your legs clamp down around his lithe waist, lungs burning as you try and fail to regain your long-gone composure. Don't quite realize you had made a noise until he's shushing you, easing deeper inside until you feel his head fully enter you. Moves so, so slow that it's agonizing. 

Rhett pauses for just a second, chest heaving, "so tight, baby." 

"Can you move any faster?" You're intentionally leaving out the part that the longer he takes, the harder it is for you to keep your thighs from shaking around him.

"Hold on, darlin'," seizing your hips in his hands as he speaks, holding you still as he just about fucking stops, "I'm a little big for you, ain't I?" 

Big is a fucking understatement. Rhett's only about halfway in you, and you already can't fucking breathe. Never can. No matter how many times he's fucked you, slow, hard, it doesn't matter; you can never seem to get used to how big he is. 

His hands aren't big just for show; they're a fucking warning.

Finally, finally, finally, his hips come flush to yours, and you don't think there's any room for your lungs even to function anymore. Panting so hard that you don't realize Rhett's dropping to his forearms, kissing sweetly at your cheek. Such a stark contrast to the devilish roll of his hips between your legs. 

"Such a good girl for me," he soothes, "takin' every single inch just like that." 

His hips roll in tight little circles, getting you used to his size until you can catch your breath, long enough for your head to stop spinning, at least. All you have to do is nod your head once, and he's drawing back out of you, so familiar with your cues that he knows exactly what you're asking for. 

Then he's pushing back into you, and it's not even a long stroke, but it's enough to have you whimpering anyway. So thick that the head of his cock effortlessly massages the gooey spot inside your stretched pussy; you think you could cum just from this alone. 

"That preacher don't know what the hell he's talkin' about," and it's only now that you realize the sermon is still going, muffled but very audible through these old walls,  "every little lady deserves a man that can fuck her right." 

Rhett punctuates his sentence with a harder thrust, sending stars sparkling behind your eyelids like a light show.  Well, you can't argue with that statement. Not when he's doubling down and drilling into you in sharp, deep strokes that bullies his fat cockhead right into your sweet spot, kissing it with each and every stroke inward. 

"Rhett!" Fingernails dig into his shoulder blades, threatening to tear right into the thin material of his dress shirt. It's a kiss that smothers the whimper that boils out of your throat, dizzying but so, so tame compared to how his hips are working between your legs. 

"Look at you," leaning back until he's on his haunches, "innocent little thing gettin' fucked good by the big, bad cowboy." 

With that, he draws his hips back, snapping them back into you with a force that has you yelping. Hope nobody could hear that. Rhett's pace is changing, unrelenting, as he punches each and every breath out of your burning lungs. Feels so, so good that you can barely keep your eyes from fluttering shut, and it's all you can do to keep quiet when he licks his thumb and presses it into your swollen clit. 

"Oh, your hips are buckin' like mad now," and he has the absolute audacity to chuckle as he says it like he isn't in the middle of ruining you, "damn, girl."

"Hard to keep still when—" you can't finish your sentence, cut off by a wickedly sharp thrust, and he just holds it there. Grinding into you and eliciting this wet squelch that sounds absolutely sinful. 

It feels so good that the edges of your vision is starting to go white, and you don't know when you've started shaking, but you can't stop. Pussy throbbing as he settles down atop you again, legs just barely able to stay hooked over his hips. Rhett's moaning into your ear, deep and breathy, and you're not doing all that much, but it sounds like you're making him feel just as good as he's doing to you. 

"Do you wanna feel me cum inside you?" He whispers, biting at the shell of your ear, "do you wanna feel that?" 

All you can do is hum, barely able even to nod your head. The simple notion of Rhett cumming inside you is enough to have a coil tightening between your legs, clamping down impossibly tight around his thick cock. 

"Oh god," he's just barely able to keep talking, and the longer he goes on, the closer you can feel yourself getting, "so bad," punctuating it with another heavy thrust, "so bad."

You want to reach down between your legs and urge his thumb to rub you a little bit faster, but you're not even sure you can take any more than what he's giving you. Not when he keeps whispering dirty things in your ear, with these breathy little grunts that keep adding to the fire burning up in your lower belly. 

"So bad, but you make it so good," no, no, now you're batting his hand away from your clit, because if he keeps rubbing it while he's talking like this, your orgasm is going to his you right this very second. With another little grunt, Rhett starts talking again, "oh, baby, I'm gonna fill you up." 

His thrusts are quickening, hips getting twitchy and messing up his rhythm in the most delicious of ways, "'m gonna fill you up with my cum." 

All of a sudden, you can't breathe anymore, your body going taut as you cum around his twitching cock. Eyes rolling into the back of your head, heart pounding so heavily it just might break its way out your ribs. Everything's spinning; you can't fucking think; all you know is Rhett's grunting quietly into your ear, and his hips are stalling. Filling you with hot spurts of his cum, until there's not a single millimeter of empty space left inside you. 

"That's right," you can just barely hear him, but he's there, "that's fuckin' right, takin' every last drop of me." 

You're not sure how long it takes you to come back, to get your head out from the clouds and back down to earth, but when you do, Rhett's already eased himself out of you. Tucked away inside his jeans again, hair stuck to his sweaty forehead as his thumb pushes his cum back inside your swollen cunt. 

"You alright?" He asks sweetly, kissing the inside of your knee. 

It takes every fiber in your being to bring yourself to nod your head. Yeah, yeah, more than alright. 

"How 'bout I carry you outta here before they start lettin' folks out," he's so soft compared to just a few moments ago when he was drilling into you and whispering such filthy things, "get all settled up in a bath and have a nice, lazy day." 

All you have to do is hum your consent, and he's gathering you up into his chest, lifting you like it's the easiest thing he's ever done. It's hard to be cold when he picks his coat up off the rack on the way out, draping it over you like a big blanket. Yeah, a nice, lazy day sounds better than whatever the hell you had planned. 

And if anybody notices your sudden disappearances or the unmistakable sounds that came from the preacher's old office, they don't say a damn thing. 

#rhett abbott x you #rhett abbott outer range #rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott smut #rhett abbott #x reader #self insert #reader self insert #oneshot #cross posted on ao3 #ao3 oneshot #ao3fic #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #outer range amazon #outer range series #outer range fic #outer range

[dee-morris]

An Overdue Rant and a Christmas Fic

I wrote this Hallmark AU last December. It was supposed to be a jokey little one-shot, but man it ate my brain. My average daily word count is 500-1k words a day, and I think I was doing 2k to 5k a day until it was done. I couldn't fuckin stop, and it was glorious.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43616245/chapters/109670092

This is very important to me, because I came to fanfic like a dying traveler comes to an oasis. After the pandemic I became deeply depressed and I developed chronic writer's block. Marketing was an uphill slog, and not being able to go out and socialize at events made it unbearable. When I did go out, the anxiety I felt about COVID made it not fun. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to write again.

Writing fanfiction was a welcome reprieve from all that: no deadlines! No SEO! No depressingly tiny royalty statements! Positive reinforcement with no dollar signs attached! So it was nice, it was fun, but I didn't really get my groove back until I wrote HallMark. That wasn't just fun. That was drive. That was passion. And it was glorious.

After it was done and posted, I couldn't forget about it. I had to know what it was about that story that grabbed me by the brain cells like that. So I went back and read it again, and I read the comments (thank you all kind people you're the best), and I realized that it was about Aziraphale and Crowley, but it was really about my feelings towards how children are raised.

*I'm not going to completely spoil the fic here, but feel free to go read it before we get further bc I'm about to discuss some thematic elements.*

Crowley is raising the Antichrist to be the destroyer of worlds on the surface, but underneath it he cares about the world, and he cares about Adam too. And that is the side of him that Adam responds to, and why he turns out the way he does. And that's what parents don't understand about children. They are only kind of listening to your words. What they respond to, and what nurtures them, is your behavior towards them and towards the world you're raising them in. If you tell your kid that Jesus loves everyone and we should help the poor, but you vote for people who will cut welfare bc you think you'll get a tax break and a new boat, your kid sees you. If you tell your kid that it's a sin to judge others but you glare at a tall woman going into the ladies room bc you think she might be trans, your kid sees you. They might grow up to be an asshole or they might grow up to think that you're one, but either way you lose.

And if you tell your kid that his destiny is to destroy the world and that living things are fit only to be ground under his heels, but you make him sandwiches and worry about him when he's out of your sight and buy him stupid Christmas crap because it makes him happy, your kid might not turn out as evil as you thought.

(don't actually tell your kid he's the Antichrist, btw, this fic is hyperbole for symbolic thematic purposes and not a parenting guide)

Anyway, my point is if you love your kid and treat him right, if you treat other people right, and give him a stable home and maybe a dog if you can afford it, he'll probably turn out pretty much okay. The rest is just flavor.

Parents stress too much about things that don't matter, but it's not our fault. You have to run the gauntlet a couple of times before you can filter out stuff that matters from stuff that doesn't, because the books and guides and parenting classes will just try to scare you about everything. Let me assure you that your baby does not give two shits if you feed with breast or bottle. But your child will remember whether you were happy, and whether you took pleasure in their presence in your life.

So what sucked me in about this fic was the reversal of what I've seen in the real world. My brain conjured a fantasy of someone who's a good parent despite themselves, instead of a bad parent with a church habit and a fat bank account. Of course I had to bring that fantasy into the world. It's how things become real.

#fanfiction writer #fanfiction #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable parents #parenting #children #ao3

[memories-beneath-the-skin]

Dad was cheap

Like not funny ha ha cheap.. Like he was, but also wtf infuriating cheap

He would tithe to the church all he felt he should, I mean litterally every few months, they would post in a special bulletin who gave and how much total. Dick measuring to guilt others if I ever saw it. That's the only time I'd hope he had been cheap but no...

He was an LPN, almost RN but he decided not, back in the 70s was a different outlook of those peeps and roles in industry.

I saw his pay stubs after he died when cleaning out his shed.... Naturally that's where they go. I couldn't believe how little he made, so I get frugal, I get I got second hand clothes a huge percentage of time and those handed down to my brother, but he always provided.

Mom didn't work until we were out of the house. Raising two boys and I can tell stories... She SHOULD have been paid... She mentally survived though, I guess you do.

His cheapness didn't affect basic to intermediate auto repairs, my dad had everything done at a shop, I grew up craving to do it, oil/coolant /brake /transmission fluid changing, doing my own brakes, shocks, suspension, most top engine parts, diagnosing electrical and physical gremlins. I still do, not out of necessity but because I enjoy it.

Hurt when I told dad I would do his brakes, he never had me, I would just charge parts, I know where to buy them, just like oil, I can buy great quality brake parts for both axles and come in well under what a shop does mediocre for one axle in price, and they don't treat your car like it's theirs, the tactics in which one needs to remove parts at times with violence I am well versed, as well as taking the time to do it right and careful gets cut sometimes, but I respect it was his choice.

The most cheap thing he did and it pissed me off one time and I finally got him to understand was tipping. Ten dollar meal, 80 cents, 50 dollar meal a few dollars. Now I will say it's up to everyone to tip how they want, and I do agree tipping for things now in some respects are out of control, but I started out as a puppy in the service industry, and while I didn't need to earn tips, I ran the kitchen and interacted directly with those that did and my performance could fuck them from tips and so I made sure I cooked and plated like every meal made was mine.

We were up in Canada, stopped at some strip mall diner, ordered burgers, my dad thought his was not done quite enough, but otherwise everything was fine, we were trying to get to upstate NY to bury my grandmother, his mom and I get maybe he was under duress, but I was too, I was doing all the driving because I love to drive but still it's very long and need to focus too much, people are assholes when you take a nap for a bit driving for some reason, like jeez I get it🤣

I watched my dad get the bill, easiest was to pay with card, and not screw with the did different currencies.

I noticed be put a dash on the tip, just wrote the total on the bottom. Now if it's a place you get your food and no service after I get maybe adjusting.

We got multiple how are things? I had 3 Coca-Colas, he had mutiple cups of coffee, a napkin run.... So.... Was not like the server that ran his card and looked defeated as she watched him sign it deserved it.

We get out side, he's opening door, I stand at curb.

Me : dad wtf was that?

Dad :was what?

Me: why the fuck did you stiff the server

Dad: the burger wasn't that good

Me: so?

Dad: was expensive too

Me: no dad it wasn't, it's in their currency, it's same we pay

Dad: ok, well next time...

Me: next time what? Next time we go here? Have her as a server? Or eat again??

Dad: next time we eat

Me: well we are here now

Dad : we have a schedule

Me: the hell we do, so skip a rest stop if we have to, you know we are arriving over three days before she's buried, don't give me this schedule crap, we stop when we want, and don't push our trips

Dad: what do you want me to do

Me : go in there, tip her, tell her you're an ass or that you forgot, I don't care

Dad: next time

Me :did she do anything wrong with service

Dad :the burger was...

Me: no, not her sorry, go bitch to a manager or call the prime minister or something, that was the cook...

Dad : well my coffee mug had something on it

Me: ok.. Hey excuse me miss, can you flog the dishwasher or please get me another mug, somehow this one isn't clean...

Dad: ok! (opens up wallet) all I have is a 10 and hundreds, I will get change next stop....

Me: and drive back and tip her?

Dad : that's absurd

Me: (opening up my wallet) well I only have 20s, that's fine, but if you make me be the one to walk in and do it I am walking away

Dad : son you won't walk off

Me: yes, we both paid our own meals, I tipped her very well for mine, I am good walking to grandma's, not like if I don't make it she would know

Dad : you don't have the money...

Me : don't care I'll sell my body to science or give handjobs, but riding with you that can't understand the principle of the structure and your issues are mechanisms to justify not spending more than the tab, I have watched you for years, you get up from table and mom ends up digging money out of purse and laying tip at the table.

Dad : she doesn't...

Me :the fuck she don't, call her. She just laughs and says... That's your father... I'm not laughing

Dad : (walks into restaurant hands woman the 10 and she smiles)

*walking back to car*

Me: dad I know I was a dick, and I love you, but you irk me

Dad : I know, your mother got mad last week over same thing

Me: good

Dad: besides I need you to ride with me, no one wants your calloused hands giving hand jobs

*laughter *

He got better as he aged, helped I think to have kids move out of house, mom started working a bit after we moved out and food bill fell 🤣, he would ask me and mom what would be a good tip for the meal and service, for years he tried to wrap his mind around how I tipped, service not based on tab. Eat at a diner, server runs their ass off for you, 25 dollar tab, verses same effort from high end restaurant and they should get more? No... So I tip high compared to low tabs and normal for high, dad never understood how for a 12 dollar meal, I'd give 10 tip, not about the price to me.

As he aged he started to throw his money around more, but still had moments.

I remember the car accident, one I wrote about a while back, just out of Sudbury, Canada

Flipped the car, destroyed the vehicle, the car top carrier, the only time we brought our bikes to grandmas the were hanging off the back and trashed, mom had a concussion, Justin had a broken collar bone, so much lost and broken and he said... I just filled up the tank 20 miles back... Dang it should have waited.

#writers on tumblr #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #dad things #personal

[numbknee]

Why do you think Kyman gets so much hate? I can understand some things about what people don’t like about it but some of the things they say, the harassment is so out of pocket. Especially on Tik Tok! It is like a battle ground out there and they all will shoot you down immediately if you SAY anything. I just wanna love Kyman without it seeming like a punishment 😭😭

Dude I totally feel you. It's so much easier to live and let live so I don't understand how these ppl have the energy to be so aggressively hurtful all the time. This has been said before ad nauseum but for god's sake, it's JUST a fucking tv show. I'm too old for this shit.

(longer explanation under the cut! like... extremely long lol I'm so sorry my thoughts about this have been building up for a while 😅)

I think the extremely aggressive kyman hate is a symptom of growing poor media literacy and the larger "purity culture" trend that's been present online for a while now. It's very reminiscent of American Evangelicalism or Puritanism, where members of the church have to follow a very specific set of rules for behaving and thinking and if you deviate from those rules in the slightest, you're shot down immediately by the community and shamed for being sinful and blasphemous, all to keep you on the "righteous path" and avoid burning in hell for eternity. This is why so many puritanical christians in the US hate themselves for doing what most of the world sees as normal behavior, and simultaneously force that self-hating worldview onto others to "save" them. (For example see this video by FD Signifier on youtube explaining how hardcore religious ppl/conservatives are doomed to be bad in bed because they see sex as "evil" when in reality it's a normal part of human behavior 😬 It's long but very good).

Though, it's important to note that ppl who think this way may not even be christian themselves, but the behavior is so pervasive in american culture that you absorb it even if you're not a puritanical christian. (for example, to quote Ian Danskin, athiests may think "I don't believe in god, but the god I don't believe in is Jehovah). Tons of the first generation of white USAmericans were exiled British puritans who were kicked out of their home country for essentially being self-righteous assholes and trying to force their shit worldview on everyone else lmao. And I think because so many online spaces are so USAmerican-centric, people from all over the world have started adopting that purity culture as well.

Now, South Park is extremely popular (duh). It's been around for decades so it has a ton of fans both old and new. Unfortunately a lot of new fans, especially young people, follow the show for very different reasons than the average normie/not-terminally-online viewer does. They take the characters out of their original context, use them like dolls to make their own stories and fan content, and ignore all the other blatantly controversial shit that's been going on in the show since day 1 (which is why so many exclusively make blasé creek fanworks imo). They want to keep their thoughts "pure" and only engage with content that's approved by the puritanical online community

It's extremely fitting but also sad that Cartman is the scapegoat for everything wrong with South Park, both in the show and in the real world. Either ppl don't want to acknowledge he exists, or ppl latch onto him and project all of that puritanical hatred toward him or anyone that likes his character. Hell, even I'M guilty of this kind of thinking before I watched the show and understood Cartman's character better.

Kyman in particular is a target BECAUSE it involves Cartman, but also because people boil it down to shipping a nazi with a jew which, at the surface level, seems horrible! But if you've ever actually WATCHED the goddamn show, you know that is an extremely reductive and inaccurate interpretation of their characters. It's horribly poor media literacy. These ppl CANNOT seem to comprehend that you can enjoy watching a character who's a "bad person" without condoning their actions, and that enjoying the shipping dynamic of such characters DOES NOT make you a bad person by proxy.

A huge role of fiction as media is to explore ideas that may be harmful in the real world in a safe way because... *gasp* it's imaginary!! It makes you think and experience emotions you may not have the opportunity for otherwise! However, in the eyes of puritans, the fact you're even thinking about something like that makes you a sinner. It's a thought crime, which is why they consider us mentally "sick" for shipping kyman. So, they send hate at the drop of a hat and publicly vilify kyman shippers to reinforce that behavior with each other, all to say "Hey look at me!!! I'm a Good Person! see how much of a Good Person I am??? I'm gonna go to HEAVEN, and YOU'RE going to HELL". Like I said before, it's not that they necessarily believe in heaven or hell, but that's the general root of the behavior. It's performative puritan dog-piling. Also, because they haven't even fucking watched the whole show, they conveniently ignore all the other horrible shit the show portrays because random kyman shippers online are easy targets while Matt & Trey are gajillionaires who are essentially un-cancellable for things they do on the show at this point because, to quote Trey: For anyone to go up and go "Did you see this thing on South Park? That was really offensive" someone's gonna be like "Dude shut up 😒 that's just South Park".

Geez man this got super fucking long lmao. But my advice is to please take care of yourself because, and this super cliché to say, but FUCK the haters dude 🖕🖕🖕 You're engaging with media that brings you joy and exploring interesting ideas with a community of awesome artists/writers/meta-analysts and more. This is supposed to be FUN!! Anyone who tries to take that away from you or shame you into stopping is a fucking immature, holier-than-thou asshole who needs to get a fucking life. The block button is your friend, so use it early and often. You have the power to curate your own online space, and you shouldn't subject yourself to dealing with these dickheads (this is a big reason why I don't have a tiktok lol)

Good luck dude, and keep on shipping kyman 😎🤘❤️💚

#ask #anon #kyman #jesus h christ this is so long ajsfklsdf rip #lots of thoughts to get off my chest. yeesh #my post

[thaliasandy]

Hellcheer headcanon:

Warning: sexual themes but no actual sex and Jason is an asshole and no one can convince me otherwise.

Eddie came to the picnic table behind the school hoping he could make some money, he certainly didn't expect Chrissy Cunningham to be here today, especially not like this.

She sat at the table with her back to him but he could tell she was crying, not just quietly shedding a couple of tears but fullblown sobbing into the sleeve of her white sweater jacket.

"Chrissy?"

She flinched and whipped around to look at him.

"Whatever it is you want me to do, I'm not doing it."

She scrambled to get up from the bench and backed away from him.

He put his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, people usually come here if they want something from me...What's wrong?" he asked when he saw the terrified look on her face.

She was still wiping at her tear streaked face.

"Haven't you heard what Jason and his friends say about me?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't really engage in gossip with Carver...What are they saying?" He was confused why something her boyfriend said made her so distraught.

"He...he told everyone I've been doing...all these nasty things with pretty much the entire Basketball team and some of them are playing along..and everyone believes them..." she cried, her sobs sounding like she was about to hyperventilate.

He moved closer ,slowly , like he was approaching a frightened animal, and put a gentle hand on her arm.

"Shhh it's okay."

"No it's not!...Two guys stopped me in the hallway earlier and asked if they could "spit roast" me....I don't even know what that means but I'm sure it's something gross!"

"It's when you give a blowjob to one guy while the other-"

Chrissy stared at him with wide eyes, her mouth ajar in shock and embarrassment.

"Oh shit, nevermind...you don't want to know what it is, do you?"

"...No!" She squeaked.

"Sorry...Why is he saying those things about you?

She was fidgeting with a loose thread on her sleeve.

"I broke up with him yesterday...He said he didn't want to waste his time with a...stupid virgin like me anyway..."

"Stupid bastard" she heard him mutter under his breath as he pulled his bandana from his pocket and offered it to her to wipe away her tears.

Chrissy was carefully dabbing under her eyes and below her sweet little button nose.

"Haven't you guys been together since ...like 3rd grade?!"

He overexaggerated in an attempt to be funny.

"Mr Carver is the pastor at our church. Our parents are friends...Jason and I have been dating for two years but he's been getting very pushy lately and I didn't like that." Chrissy awkwardly tried to explain.

"That's good! Don't let any guy talk you into stuff you don't like."

"I promised I'd let him do it on prom night but he didn't want to wait that long."

"...Let him...do it? ...Are we talking about Sex in general here or is the golden boy into some freaky shit?"

"No! Just...normal sex...I guess...I don't know a lot about all that..."

"Hey it's okay, I haven't done all the stuff people claim I did either..."

"Really?! They say you're into...well...'freaky shit'." She repeated what he said and gave him a tiny smile through her tears.

"Yeah about that...They're talking a lot of bullshit...But don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to maintain."

"I won't. I promise..." her smile vanished when she remembered this morning.

"I can't go back there! Everyone's going to be staring at me."

"What do you say we skip school for the rest of the day then, princess?"

Something about him calling her that made her ears perk up, it made her feel excited and tingly.

"I've never skipped school..."

"First time for everything, huh?" He wagged his eyebrows and smirked over this play of words, considering what they'd just talked about.

Eddie led her to his van and just as he was about to start the engine, he spotted Jason and his friends on the other side of the parking lot.

"Princess, do you want to *really* piss him off?" He smirked mischieviously.

"Yes!" She answered with no hesitation what so ever.

"I have an idea...but I gotta warn you, they will think we...uh...know each other carnally..."

"Carnally?...Oh..."

Eddie instantly regretted mentioning it when he saw her hesitate.

"Forget it, it was a stupid idea."

"No,no,no, he'll absolutely hate it, I love your idea!" There was something evily determined in her smile.

"...but...how are we going to make him think that?"

"Roll down your window a bit and climb in the backseat."

Eddie tried his best to be respectful and not stare as her tiny cheer skirt flipped up, revealing the cutest butt ,clad in even tinier green cheer shorts, when Chrissy easily and elegantly climbed in the back.

The cheerleader couldn't help but giggle when Eddie clumsily flopped down on the floor of his van, all wild hair and long limbs.

The rear windows were curtained and Eddie pulled another little curtain shut that seperated the front seats from the backseats.

Chrissy was sitting shyly on one of the pillows he kept there for the rare occassion that Corroded Coffin landed a gig outside of Hawkins and he and the band had to sleep in the van, like sardines in a can.

She probably had a different idea of what this van had witnessed; In the dim light of the afternoon sun streaming in through small gaps in the curtains he could see her blushing deeply.

"Chrissy, we don't have to do this if its too weird..."

"I want to make him pay!...And I was hoping if people thought you and I were...you know...a thing, maybe they wouldn't bother me again..."

The memory of the two guys cornering her earlier made her shudder with disgust.

"It'd be my pleasure to defend your honor, Princess!"

He smirked, hoping he didn't look like the nervous, love sick fool he was.

"Really? You would do that?"

"Sure!" (I would do anything for you) he thought.

"Are you ready for the whole school to think you're banging the freak?" He joked.

She sat up straight, nodding her pretty little head, looking like she was waiting to be taught something really profound.

"So...how are we-"

Chrissy's question was cut short as Eddie knelt down, one hand on the back of the drivers seat, one on the cars ceiling, and started rocking the van back and forth.

"Wait! I don't know what to do!" She gasped as she knelt down beside him.

"Just make it sound like you're having a good time." He laughed.

"How would I know what that sounds like?!" She stared at him scandalized.

"Right.." He slowed down the movement and thought about it for a moment.

"Have you ever watched a movie with a sex scene?" She shyly nodded, her face now beet red.

"Just try to make it sound like that."

Eddie peeked out through the curtain and gleefully noticed Jason and his group of jocks staring at his van.

"Still sure about this?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"Mhhh, Fuck! You feel so good!" He suddenly groaned, loud enough for them to hear and a visible shiver went through Chrissy,  she hadn't expected him to sound this way.

"Oh Eddie, just like that!!!"

She tried her best to sound like she was in the throes of passion and Eddie was surprised how well she did it. He was so mesmerized by the crazy glint in her eyes that they almost forgot peeking through the curtain again, just in time to see Jason's head snap in their direction.

"Oh my god he heard us!!"

She giggled and excitedly grabbed his arm.

Spurred on by his shocked expression and those of his friends, who were one by one realizing who they were listening to, she really put on a show and Eddie went along with it.

While they were having fun in the van, (not quite the kind of fun it sounded like) at some point Chrissy clasped her hand over her mouth to muffle her laugh after Eddie let out the most ridiculous moan.

"Let him hear you, laughing during sex is one of the best feelings." 

Eddie grinned at her. When he looked out again he noticed Jason seemingly getting more and more aggravated and as much as he enjoyed seeing him like that he really didn't want them to come over and beat his ass so he whispered:

"Are you ready for the big finale?"

"Yes!"

She answered in her high-pitched-fake-sex voice, making them both laugh.

Eddie almost sounded like he was growling and Chrissy squeezed her thighs together tightly to get some relief from the tingling she felt between her legs.

She tried her best to immitate the sounds she normally had to hide by burying her face in her pillows when she was touching herself at night and it ended up feeling so good that her legs were shaking and she almost blacked out.

"Come for me, Princess!"

"Ah, ah, ah...ahhhhh Eddie!!!"

"Shit!...That sounded so real! You okay?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah, you?"

He nodded, grinning like a mad man. They were both flushed and out of breath as if they really just had sex.

He tried to discreetly adjust his pants and he was glad he was wearing black jeans, at least they somewhat hid the outline of his raging boner.

"We gotta look a bit more disheveled...May I?" He motioned to her hair and Chrissy wasn't quite sure what he was about to do but she agreed.

He gently pulled the green scrunchie from her ponytail, slipped it onto his wrist and tousled her hair, she inhaled sharply at the feeling of his nimble fingers playfully dancing across her scalp.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No...it feels nice."

She answered truthfully as she leaned into his touch.

He was surprised when she suddenly did the same to him and he realized just how nice it felt.

He wanted to kiss her and for a moment he wondered if she'd kiss him back; but he instantly felt like an ass for even thinking about this when he remembered how freaked out she was by those two guys in the hallway.

"Can I give you a hug?"

"Yeah" He chuckled incredulously and added "We just had sex, of course we can cuddle."

She giggled as she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, Chrissy was flooded with an unfamiliar feeling of warmth and security when Eddie returned the hug and she wanted to never let go of him.

"Come on, lets get out of here before your... ex-boyfriend and his buddies come over here."

Surprisingly she liked the sound of that, ex-boyfriend.

Eddie quickly shrugged off his vest and leather jacket and Chrissy did the same with her cheer jacket. He climbed back into the frontseat first, then(like a real gentleman, not like they just made everyone listening think he rearranged her guts) helped the tiny cheerleader, even though she didn't need any help, get situated in her seat again.

Ironically when he started the engine, 'Fuck like a beast' started playing and he couldn't help but turn up the volume as they drove past Jason and his friends. If looks could kill, they both would've dropped dead. Chrissy stuck her arm out of the window and flipped Jason off with a sweet smile on her rosy lips, Eddie leaned over the middle console, flashed him a shit-eating grin and did the same thing, making sure to show off Chrissy's scrunchie around his wrist; He was so close that she could feel his breath on her skin and the tips of his wild,long hair grazing her shoulder sent a shiver down her spine.

She wanted to kiss him so badly but she figured, since they'd be spending some time together today, she'd get plenty of chances to do so without an audience and without Eddie thinking she just wanted to put on a show for Jason.

#hellcheer #eddie munson #eddissy #chrissy cunningham #chrissy x eddie #headcanon #eddssy #fanfiction #oneshot #drabble #posted again bc it didn't show up in the tags

[mothmans-wedding-photographer]

Hi this post was from a week ago apparently I never posted it whoops

Mothman's Buffy Rewatch, Season 3, episodes 7 and 8, "Revalations" and "Lovers Walk"

Revalations

"I wouldn't saying dating, but I'm going out with someone" Faith appears and wraps her arm around Buffy. I know what you are

I do not remember this new Watcher woman at all lmao

I love Buffy's bomb hat

The offense Giles takes to becoming "too American" is hilarious but also if someone told me I was becoming too American I would also take offense

There's 12 cemeteries in Sunnydale??

"Interesting lady. Can we kill her?"

Tai chi with Angel again. I do not care

No stop playing the sweet music fuck I hate this don't make them kiss again

NOT AGAIN KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS FUCKING CHEATERS

What do Cordelia and Willow see in Xander anyway

Lmao SMG is so much shorter than Eliza

"You can trust some guys" correct! Definitely not Angel though

That guy has nice tusks

Oops Xander spotted Angel

NOO XANDER SEES BUFFY AND ANGEL MAKINH OUT if I walked in on that I would immediately yell "ew"

"So. No touching. Kind of like us." Because your relationship is illegal?

I wish Angel got arrested for sleeping with a minor actually lmao how would that change the show

This is like an intervention I'm crying

Ok Xander calling Angel is a vicious killer.. like that's Angelus not Angel are you stupid?

Lmao they actually did call it an intervention

Blaming Buffy for Ms. Calender. You asshole

Why is everyone acting like Angel and Angelus are the same guy

"Word of advice. Vampires don't usually knock. Especially in the daytime." There's other demons?? You'd think a Watcher would know that

Aww poor Faith :(

Massive projection on Willow's part

Faith and Xander bonding moment?

They're going to try to kill Angel.. wish they succeeded

LMAO THE WATCHER IS EVIL she got him good

Willow just break up with Oz omfg

Man that poor person's tombstone that got destroyed

Xander with the crossbow

Xander blames Angel with no proof he's so ANNOYING

LMAO SHE GOT ANGEL TOO that was so satisfying actually I love her

She snaps it over her knee and tries to fight Angel she's amazing

Girl fight!!

I love how the glass and the doors just disappear after that shot lmao

SHE JUST THREW XANDER AWAY IM CRYING

She got Willow girl's going three for three

The spikes digging into her skin reminded me of a springlock suit I'm so sorry

"Hey, word of advice. You're an idiot." SENT ME

Buffy just chopped her arm off so easily I'm crying

I actually love Ms. Post so much I wish she didn't die she should've been a reoccurring villain and her thing is just that she hits people in the head a lot

"Oddly enough your boyfriend, again"

"They swear there was a memo"

Aw Buffy and Faith :(

Lovers Walk

SPIKE IS BACK WOOHOO

"That was my sarcastic voice" "it sounds a lot like your regular voice" "I've been told that"

Cordelia: Now you can leave, and never come back! /pos

Rip the Sunnydale sign

Dru dumped Spike LMAO

Awww he got her a pez witch that's so wholesome (it is ruined when I remind myself of Willow cheating)

"Giles. You pack like me."

"There's no going to be any rash." STOP

Joyce is actually being nice and supportive of Buffy???

Does he have to be invited in to the castle?

Drunkard Spike lol

Spike on fire 🔥 🔥

"We don't carry... leprosy."

She's going to de-love herself and Xander lmao

Aww poor lady

He's just funning

"It smells like church in here! Wait, evil church."

Aw nice try Willow

"I'm taking what's mine." oh that's not (I know he's a literal demon I'm just commenting)

He's going to get Willow to love-spell Drusilla lmao

He's sitting so close to Willow it's like he wants her to comfort him I'm crying

SHE TOLD HIM THEY COULD STILL BE FRIENDS

Oh poor Willow this scene is so uncomfortable

HES VENTING TO JOYCE IM CRYING

Why is she nicer to Spike than to Buffy

He wants some little marshmallows !!!

HIM MIMING BITING JOYCE

Whys Buffy choking him he just said he can't breathe

Oz still has some werewolf powers even when he's not in wolf form

"Well if you close your eyes and wish real hard"

"We killed a homeless man on this bench." God he's such a weirdo

"I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

Xander's head looks like caved in

OZ AND CORDELIA WALK IN ON THEM

Shit Cordelia and was pierced by a metal bar. Wait didn't that happen in Brooklyn 99

I didn't think the mop handle would work because it's not wood

"I violently dislike you"

Spike overusing the word "baby" is hilarious but I'm laughing at him not with him

"I just want him to talk to me again." Yeah cheating tends to hurt your significant other

"Xander. Stay away from me." LMAO?

Poor Cordy :(

I do not feel sad about Angel and Buffy not seeing each other anymore

Damn everybody ended this episode miserable (except for Spike)

#buffy the vampire slayer #buffy summers #btvs #willow rosenberg #mothman's buffy rewatch #rupert giles #xander harris #spike btvs #angel btvs #oz btvs #cordelia chase

[transmascrage]

I've personally never related to the "I was a rebel tomboy since forever" transmasc narrative, I was a super shy anxious feminine child, even if I knew I was trans I would have never had the courage to tell anyone.

I've also never felt pain whenever someone misgendered me, it just made me really, really mad. Like they were obviously wrong, and being smug about it too!

I only became a tomboy when people started to associate my femininity with girlhood, but I wasn't actually a tomboy. That's when my "I'm not like other girls" belief started.

And I hate that people twist my experience into "Actually, you just had internalized misogyny, you're a straight woman!" because they're doing exactly what adults did to me my whole childhood.

"Aw, look, she's so sweet and quiet, she's the perfect daughter!" said the church ladies, and my parents, and my teachers. And it made me boil with rage, but I couldn't show it.

So I started to hide the "things that made me a girl" from others.

I'd get mad if anyone caught me using make-up, dressing like a princess and whatnot. I knew they were looking for evidence to prove my girlhood.

When I got my period my dad told me "You're a woman now!" and I seethed in anger.

To me, people were looking for any way to prove I was a girl, when subconsciously I must have known they were wrong.

Imagine if your family and everyone around you spent their life trying to prove you're a cook when you're clearly just the farmer who produces the ingredients.

Not sure why I went with this metaphor, but let's roll with it.

You're just a guy who works in his little farm, growing plants and a few chickens.

And every day, some asshole drops by, walks into your house and orders a full meal.

"We don't do that here, I just make the ingredients." "Well, if you make the ingredients, it must mean you also make the meals!" "That's, not how it works..."

And then the stranger starts to stalk you and snoop into your house, trying to find evidence that you're actually a cook.

Me, I'm a guy who's just growing femininity, and then the cooks can have it and make some womanhood with it.

But the fact that I can be and I was feminine doesn't mean I'm also a woman.

#man that was a terrible metaphor #lgbtq community #lgbtq #transmasc #transandrophobia #transunitism #also you don't need the ingredients to make the food #you can also make food with fish for example #so you don't need the femininity to be a woman #and...the metaphor got out of hand

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

A quick little thing I wanted to talk about today.

So, I go to a non-denominational church where I sing in the choir. I've noticed recently that at least 3 different couples in the choir/production team have had kids in within the last few months. I see them being brough in by their parents almost every Sunday. Pretty much everyone is always fawning over the babies when they're brought in.

I wanna make it abundantly clear that I do not hate children or babies, they're perfectly fine, I just don't get excited about them like most people at my church do! But at one point one of the choir members brought in her newborn son for the first time. Another choir member called my name and was like "look, (choir member's name) brought in their baby!' and I just responded "yeah, that's great!" and went back to minding my own business. This choir member proceeded to like, make fun of me in front of everyone else and was like "Ha! She's just like 'yep, that's a baby'."

Like why did you have to do that?? I felt really uncomfortable when she said that, why did I have to be singled out?? I don't know, I just didn't like how she made me feel, because everyone else was giving attention to the baby and I wasn't? It made me feel like I was being uncaring for not wanting to gawk over the kid. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, I just felt the need to get it off my chest.

Again, I have no problem with kids or babies, I just never felt any sort of attachment to them. And this person made me feel like an asshole for not giving the baby attention. By the way, I've mentioned multiple times to people in my choir that I don't want to have children and don't plan on changing my mind. But not wanting to have children within a Christian community feels completely alienating...

#me #personal #church #rant #i'm happy you have your kid and that you're happy #but please shame me into fawning over it #christianity

[beardedmrbean]

Hey, I hope your dad doing well

But remember that shitty good times sequel cartoon where the daughter is the black military archetype? Which the proud family revival did

Okay, so people want to know why Huey Freeman worked?

Well Aaron Mcgruder remembers the later half of Malcom X life. So Huey got calmer over the seasons as he realize at the end of the day he just a kid and still have much to learn

Yes yes Malcom believe that Yakub shit

Until he went to Mecca to preach it… and when your seemingly higher than the Hassassins to Muslims…

He got a bitch slap of reality and converted to Sunni Islam

Random, I saw a YouTuber complain how forest grump made fun of the black panthers because they created due to systemic oppression

Just like Khemer rouge with French colonization. Because us black people loved the BP party-

Wait we actually hated them because they were racist af like the kkk? Also they have several domestic abusers in them?

I mean where are they now?…seriously why the kkk still around vs them? Or is blm a new front?

Also I love how they keep saying “they” aka white people out the guns and drugs into our community

It’s the fucking government, they used anything to keep their pets on plantation.

Here a thing I noticing

Black Activists: white people putting the drugs into our communities since the 80’s and killed MLK!

Me: Fascinating, oh should we analyze why our community 75% bastards right after the civil rights movement after primary upper middle boomer feminists projectbcasual sex and other primary upper middle class or elite hendoist behaviors onto the working class?

BA: Nah I like sleeping around

M: Oh that black boys being sexually abused by older girls or women is skyrocketing high

Sorry, yes it effect both genders, but on black twitter, the amount of times black men said they got lucky loosing their “virginity” at fucking 5. It feel like, we need to tell them they were raped

Yes it affects all races, thanks feminism for treating little boys like grown men while female pedos like toddlers.

But if the rampant CSA among black American kids caught wind in mainstream.

The fallout is going to be nasty, sorry just UGH

You guys hate what white people did to us but cling onto the sex revolution like a turkey leg

Hey, I hope your dad doing well

Just got home a little bit ago, he's home and as good as one can be after heart surgery.

But remember that shitty good times sequel cartoon where the daughter is the black military archetype? Which the proud family revival did Okay, so people want to know why Huey Freeman worked?

Huey worked because he called everyone out for their bs, wasn't giving people a pass for their skin colour, at least that's one reason imho.

Asshole but honest iirc.

Well Aaron Mcgruder remembers the later half of Malcom X life. So Huey got calmer over the seasons as he realize at the end of the day he just a kid and still have much to learn Yes yes Malcom believe that Yakub shit

He did chill ya, Wed night we were doing stuff in Genesis at church asked the pastor if Jacob had invented white people by this point in history yet, it got a chuckle, since both Islam and nation of islam have managed to lay claim to some of the Jewish patriarchs, Christians too but we don't claim them or deviate from the Jewish scriptures about them.

Until he went to Mecca to preach it… and when your seemingly higher than the Hassassins to Muslims… He got a bitch slap of reality and converted to Sunni Islam

Ya he managed to be a lot less hateful towards the end, probably why farrakhan (likely) had him assassinated.

Random, I saw a YouTuber complain how forest grump made fun of the black panthers because they created due to systemic oppression

OG BPP did a lot of good, also managed to help get several gun control laws passed in the state of CA because of a wrong turn, Huey Newton and Eldridge Cleavar and a bunch of the rest of them too, were well versed in gun laws at the time and followed them to the letter.

At that point in CA you could observe law enforcement in their actions, from a reasonable distance, 8-10 feet or so, with a shotgun sitting on your shoulder, legally.

Managed to keep some "roughhousing" we'll call it, from the cops happening, as well as making sure they followed the law, they were the cellphone cameras of their time, but far more intimidating.

(When you hear people say that gun laws have racism at their core, this is one of the reasons people say that)

But they had food banks and neighborhood programs to keep kids out of trouble and they did a lot of good, some bad too, but ya they were those uppity N* that wound up being part of the reason the FBI flooded the streets with crack.

You want to see something crazy though, you can learn what the "establishment" actually fears and why they've decided to let racism come back the way they have.

This is Chicago history here, that they likely left out of the books (Article Link here) This is what they fear, Hillbilly Harlem boys can do this, we might get some class solidarity and leave race behind us.

If you look at the timing of everything, what was just before the current wave of new racism was the occupy movement, and they did the whole thing again with that.

Got the NBBP now, they don't go for class solidarity anymore.

I do love to see Americans exercising their 2A rights though, may not like your politics but I support your right to self defense anyhow.

Good back and forth there

Sorry, yes it effect both genders, but on black twitter, the amount of times black men said they got lucky loosing their “virginity” at fucking 5. It feel like, we need to tell them they were raped

That is one of the things they don't really talk about and I don't recall how I managed to get read in to the big secret about everyone's favourite auntie in the neighborhood.

They ain't making a man out of you, like you said it's rape.

Yes it affects all races, thanks feminism for treating little boys like grown men while female pedos like toddlers. But if the rampant CSA among black American kids caught wind in mainstream. The fallout is going to be nasty, sorry just UGH

I feel like it's eeked out here and there, but someone big needs to do a thing about it, bigger than when L&O SVU had Ice-T throw the whole "on the down low" thing out there.

Which that's only gonna be a scandal in the black community, pointing out that there's a designated first lay for the boys in the neighborhood that parents send their kid to, well those that aren't aware of it might make enough noise to do something.

That or get called racist for calling it out for what it is.

You're one of the first people I've seen on here not speak about that in code and whispers.

You guys hate what white people did to us but cling onto the sex revolution like a turkey leg

It's weird the feminists scream about patriarchy and all that stuff but turn a blind eye to child rape that's got the express purpose of "making a man" out of the child that should be allowed to remain a child.

Probably to avoid being called racist, you see how they fail to address child marriage and such in developing countries in favor of things like sexist air conditioning here in the US

It's set that cold because men are expected to wear a suit coat and tie at work, you can wear a sweater they can't remove any more layers of clothing, if anything it's the dress code that's sexist but then you'd need to admit that sexism against men is possible.

Sorry that one has driven me crazy for nearly a decade.

I did say we got my dad home and he's catching up on his papers and all I think, if not he is and that's why this has taken 22 hours to get out, not enough time last night and busy all day.

Hopefully it was worth the wait

#zoomer huey anon

[keysorsomething]

Shameless plug

Hello, everyone! I just want to thank you all for all the support I've been getting since I started posting The Shape. I just wanted to talk about something really quick

The first story I posted under the name Keysorsomething was an SCP fic titled Wide New World on Ao3. And, now that I'm a better writer, I've decided to rewrite it, as most of the chapters were rushed and mostly disjointed nonsense My other works that are not CoD-related don't do too well here, and I won't be posting the whole rewrite on Tumblr, but here's the prologue to drum up some hype, I guess

Note: This was written and released prior to the SCP-8662 slot being filled on the wiki

Dr. Arin Akins, newly appointed level 4 researcher of the Interpersonal Affairs department of the SCP Foundation and former skip. About 6'4, but sure doesn't act it. Been at the Foundation for about 55 years, been with the Foundation for almost 30. Currently walking down hall A-1, in the office wing of Site-19. He stops, grinning widely at the blinking light right before the turn to office 5.

"See, Clef? Told ya it was faulty wiring," Dr. Akins grins, turning to the other man, who scoffs and bumps his arm.

"And?" He asks, clearly unimpressed. 

"You said it was the bulb, but we changed it last night," Dr. Akins says, turning back to the light, watching as it flickers. "You owe me fifty bucks!" He cheers, but Dr. Clef pushes past him, grumbling. "Hey, a bet's a bet."

"I was drunk," Clef groans, covering his face. He still had a hangover. 

"Doesn't mean you can't pay up!" And the door slams, the conversation over. Dr. Akins smiles to himself, shaking his head. He stands there for a moment, staring up into the flickering light. He sighs, continuing down the hall before slipping into his own office. "Hey, Church," He whispers, the cat rubbing at his ankles and purring loudly. Dr. Akins closes the door behind him, humming a soft tune as he places his cup of coffee down. He takes the can opener, opens the wet food, and puts it in its usual spot by the base of his desk. "What'd ya wanna watch today, bud?" He asks as he sits down with a sigh. 

He turns his TV on, scrolling mindlessly for a horror movie to put on in the background while he works. The man needed the sound - he couldn't work without it. He finds one, something he'd never seen before, clicking it on low volume and turning to the papers on his desk. They'd been delivered by someone on the night staff he'd befriended, another way his routine differed from his coworkers. They would have to pick up their work on the utility level. Some had assistants, and some work would be sent from person to person like it was mail throughout the day. 

But, Dr. Akins didn't have an assistant for the same reason he didn't have kids, he had no clue where to start with them, and his time being one sure was no positive example. However, he knew that was likely to end. Anyone who didn't pick up an assistant by the time they were level four - if they got to level four - was given one. Usually overflow, or anomaly signed on to staff, or someone whose previous mentor was killed.

He was the second example - former SCP-8662, assigned to a man by the name of Dr. Gray. He was an asshole of a man no one on-site liked. Dr. Akins himself did not understand why at first, but it was quick to pick up on. He was a bigot. There was no way to get around it. It was nothing surprising for the time, or for his age. And it was nothing surprising to Dr. Akins. He had seen many, many things in his life. It was a long life, but to the man who trained him, he was some insubordinate kid that he wanted nothing to do with. Dr. Gray was not a fan of anomalous beings, nor anyone else who was not just like him. Dr. Akins was often 'it' or 'the thing' in conversation, even as he was standing right there. It didn't bother him much anymore, Dr. Grey was dead.

Alas, it was not at his own hands, and he could never be sure if he was upset over it or grateful for it. He sighs, shaking the thoughts of the man out of his mind. He didn't need to remember Dr. Gray, the same way he didn't need to remember his mother or father. There was no fondness in the memories, and they were long gone. Of course, his parents had been longer than Dr. Gray. 

Dr. Akins finds it in the pile of papers on his desk. He takes a breath, closing his eyes shut and lowering it. The pretty, white envelope with the bright yellow wax stamp shutting it glaring back at him when his eyes reopen. He knows exactly who sent it. And he knows exactly what's inside of it. He couldn't tell you exactly what was stressing him out so much about the letter. Maybe it was the worry of fucking up. Maybe it was a lot of things. The thought that this doesn't have to happen crosses his mind. He can throw it out, burn it, pretend he never got it. He has methods at his disposal. He eyes the trash can at the side of his desk.

He can't bring himself to cast it out, however. So, instead, despite his fear, he breaks it open and pulls the contents out. Unlike the envelope, the paper was aged, yellow. It smells of perfume, one he was familiar with but could not recall the name of. It was another staple of the sender.

"Dear Dr. Arin Akins.

My dear friend, congratulations on reaching level four! Finally on par with all those big shots at Site-19, eh? We sure miss you out here in the 'country', but I'm sure I need not tell you such things. You should come visit, though. See where it all started, with your 30 years upcoming. That is nuts to me, to think that it has been over thirty years since we met, and sat in that small interview room. That is not what I am writing to you about, however.

I am sure you know what the real purpose of this letter is. You may be unsure of why I am not sending it, instead of one of the directors at Site-19, but that is because I may have found a workaround or two. With a little nudging of the 05's - my expertise, if you recall - I have convinced them to change tradition a tad. Not break it, of course. You were always for bending things, though, I remember. Anywho -

You will be assigned an assistant out of the batch of newbies. I couldn't fudge it enough to get them to let you choose, but, I do have the declassified information on who you will be sent. 

A young English woman by the name of Jessica Bunny. Fresh out of college, so you won't have to worry about the schooling issues, the usual age for a young researcher here. She is average - perhaps too much so, for you, my friend - but she will be a good kid. And a good trainee. Try not to frighten her too much! The lot should be here within the next two weeks.

-Dir. 'E' Morgan"

Dr. Akins' eyes scan the page once. Than twice. Then a third time, before a scream on the TV startles him out of his silent panic. He jerks back, looking around. His breathing is heavy. He isn't ready for this, he isn't ready at all. But, Church jumps up on the desk, sniffing at his face and then headbutting him. He lets out a shaky breath, then nods. 

"You're right. I can, Church. I can do it," He whispers, running his hands down the back of the cat. "We can do it, even. We." 

#scp ocs #scp fandom #scp foundation #scp #fanfic #dr clef #alto clef

[whyyoualwayssoradical]

realized i was gay in middle school but at the time with all the protestant pentecostal holiness churching i had, it made my perspective see it as just giving in to "sin". i remember completely breaking down one night at like the precipice of the realization of what and who i really was but i was so committed to being christian or whatever i went the complete opposite direction mentally and thought i had to stop "sinning". i don't know maybe i'm just stupid and none of this makes sense to anyone but it's like i was so determined to live up to my mom's expectations and her wanting me to be a good christian and me being cut off from the rest of the world i just took it and buried it as deep as i could and tried everything to blend in as straight but likely not as well as i thought i might have been. the only thing that really mattered perception wise was that i knew if any kind of rumor made it back to my family about my sexual orientation i was going to experience some kind of hell on earth. so it didn't really matter what i got called at school as long as nothing that was said could amount to me actually potentially being gay, so i mentally just ruled it out so to speak and just tried to be Not Gay if you can even believe that's possible to do as like a middle schooler, i just know i was terrified of anyone perceiving me or anything i did as incorrect in regards to my family. basically small enough town everyone knew who i was or their parents knew who i was and knew my parents or someone that knew my parents and basically anything i did was under a microscope because i was the Baby of the <family name> and that's who i always was. i was my dad's son or my mom's son or the younger brother of my brothers.

looking back everything makes sense to me now i think. i thought i had to be straight and there were nothing else, i thought it was inevitable that i was going to have to be intimate with the opposite sex and i hated the idea of that, i didnt even understand why people dated each other, let alone get married and do the required things to have children. i was always friends with more girls than boys but once i got to middle school boys and girls just hanging out wasn't like a thing anymore for some reason socially. i hated boys so much, mean assholes all of them so i always tried to hang out with girls but eventually i stopped being allowed to. i had all these weird and warped perceptions of everything social related and i just never understood any of it and i was just trying to recognize patterns and try to blend in to not stick out but i was still obviously very different to some kids and i eventually figured out how to blend in well enough that most kids just left me alone by late middle school.

i don't know i feel like my mind is so completely messed up and unraveling it has been a monumental task

#i dont know this is what i remember and what i can best make out #its all really confusing #protestantism really fucks you up #still afraid of my dad potentially just wanting to kill me for being gay #sorry #always afraid to talk about these experiences because of how it will get interpreted and people often misinterpret me #i dont know how else to describe it all #it probably sounds stupid #maybe delete maybe not

[dreams-of-cerulean]

...well, that's disconcerting.

The Nameless Church got mailed a package. We'll, not exactly mailed. There was a large package that was left on the doorstep steeped in preservation magic and was addressed to the Nameless Church.

And after making sure the package didn't have harmful magic on it, I opened it in front of the other Nameless Church members. And well, there were a baker's dozen of decapitated heads in it. Before everyone could get properly angry and jump to the natural conclusion in a scenario like this, I realized that I recognized the head on top of the stack.

It's that asshole that nearly killed me and succeeded in killing a good number of the Nameless Church. That Jorge guy (still don't know how I know his name). And I suspect the rest of those heads are also Absolute Radiance members.

There was a letter in Jorge's mouth. The enchantments prevented it from being stained with all the blood. There's a paper seal - eight wings set in a ring - a seal from Absolute Radiance.

-------------

"To the Church of the Nameless Goddess,

Almost a year ago to this day, our own Church had unknowingly performed crimes against your own. It was only because of your faction's increased aggression towards us and a bit of fortune did we finally discover the cause.

Let it be known that the actions of our deacon Jorge Delisair was a result of his own personal ambitions and not the intent of the Absolute Radiance. We did not authorize him to go after the Relic of the Nameless Church nor did we ever need it. To show our sincerity in this matter, we have executed the main players involved in this tragedy including the ringleader Jorge. We do not condone his behavior, especially when it harms our brothers and sisters in the fight against the Templar dominance.

We do not need an answer right now. We understand that trust and cooperation between our two parties will not come easy, but I hope the display of our sincerity will help ease tensions between our groups. After all, it is our sincere belief we both serve the same Goddess.

-Apollyon - Head Priest of the Absolute Radiance

----------------

The first thing I really wanted to say is "bullshit." Radiance's doctrine is that when their goddess arrives, the entire world will perish in flame and chaos.

< Myriad Lights > is not a goddess of Destruction. Hell, Chi gets distressed when people get a scratch, not exactly apocalyptic herald material.

...But at the same time, I can't help but feel like they're very sure about this. Why else would you kill a whole bunch of your own people unless you're crazy? Which I suppose worshipping a goddess of destruction would be - but still...

The Nameless Cult is divided on this issue. Sasha's very conflicted and unable to make a decision, and everyone's been waiting on my input too since they nearly killed me.

I know I'm biased in this situation. I still want to kill them to the very last man. Samantha Golden, after all, probably composes a good part of my memories now, and the more memorable memories are of me (her) getting tortured to death. Not to mention, I know that Absolute Radiance is after me because of my soul's nature.

But as someone that's helping the Nameless Church make a good decision, I can't let my personal issues influence it.

In terms of a power standpoint, The Nameless Church probably can't afford to continue to war with Absolute Radiance. Our numbers have been pretty reduced, down to a hundred-ish or so, a lot of them non-combatants. And if the Absolute Radiance could afford to casually execute Jorge, they probably have stronger people behind the scenes.

Additionally, morale-wise, I don't think the Nameless Church has a reason to continue fighting the Absolute Radiance beyond more personal "you killed my family" type deal - not after the main players of that attack are dead. And Jorge was most definitely the leader in that fight, not just a scapegoat. I can already feel the sentiments in the Nameless Church - they're tired of fighting overall.

We'll naturally have to be careful of being backstabbed - and I have to make sure to properly defend myself in case this is just a ploy to get at me. But at this moment, as someone looking after the Nameless Church, I can't condone continuing their war against each other.

#link ooc // #online::Levant

[thaliasandy]

Hellcheer headcanon:

Warning: sexual themes but no actual sex and Jason is an asshole and no one can convince me otherwise.

Eddie came to the picnic table behind the school hoping he could make some money, he certainly didn't expect Chrissy Cunningham to be here today, especially not like this.

She sat at the table with her back to him but he could tell she was crying, not just quietly shedding a couple of tears but fullblown sobbing into the sleeve of her white sweater jacket.

"Chrissy?"

She flinched and whipped around to look at him.

"Whatever it is you want me to do, I'm not doing it."

She scrambled to get up from the bench and backed away from him.

He put his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, people usually come here if they want something from me...What's wrong?" he asked when he saw the terrified look on her face.

She was still wiping at her tear streaked face.

"Haven't you heard what Jason and his friends say about me?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't really engage in gossip with Carver...What are they saying?" He was confused why something her boyfriend said made her so distraught.

"He...he told everyone I've been doing...all these nasty things with pretty much the entire Basketball team and some of them are playing along..and everyone believes them..." she cried, her sobs sounding like she was about to hyperventilate.

He moved closer ,slowly , like he was approaching a frightened animal, and put a gentle hand on her arm.

"Shhh it's okay."

"No it's not!...Two guys stopped me in the hallway earlier and asked if they could "spit roast" me....I don't even know what that means but I'm sure it's something gross!"

"It's when you give a blowjob to one guy while the other-"

Chrissy stared at him with wide eyes, her mouth ajar in shock and embarrassment.

"Oh shit, nevermind...you don't want to know what it is, do you?"

"...No!" She squeaked.

"Sorry...Why is he saying those things about you?

She was fidgeting with a loose thread on her sleeve.

"I broke up with him yesterday...He said he didn't want to waste his time with a...stupid virgin like me anyway..."

"Stupid bastard" she heard him mutter under his breath as he pulled his bandana from his pocket and offered it to her to wipe away her tears.

Chrissy was carefully dabbing under her eyes and below her sweet little button nose.

"Haven't you guys been together since ...like 3rd grade?!"

He overexaggerated in an attempt to be funny.

"Mr Carver is the pastor at our church. Our parents are friends...Jason and I have been dating for two years but he's been getting very pushy lately and I didn't like that." Chrissy awkwardly tried to explain.

"That's good! Don't let any guy talk you into stuff you don't like."

"I promised I'd let him do it on prom night but he didn't want to wait that long."

"...Let him...do it? ...Are we talking about Sex in general here or is the golden boy into some freaky shit?"

"No! Just...normal sex...I guess...I don't know a lot about all that..."

"Hey it's okay, I haven't done all the stuff people claim I did either..."

"Really?! They say you're into...well...'freaky shit'." She repeated what he said and gave him a tiny smile through her tears.

"Yeah about that...They're talking a lot of bullshit...But don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to maintain."

"I won't. I promise..." her smile vanished when she remembered this morning.

"I can't go back there! Everyone's going to be staring at me."

"What do you say we skip school for the rest of the day then, princess?"

Something about him calling her that made her ears perk up, it made her feel excited and tingly.

"I've never skipped school..."

"First time for everything, huh?" He wagged his eyebrows and smirked over this play of words, considering what they'd just talked about.

Eddie led her to his van and just as he was about to start the engine, he spotted Jason and his friends on the other side of the parking lot.

"Princess, do you want to *really* piss him off?" He smirked mischieviously.

"Yes!" She answered with no hesitation what so ever.

"I have an idea...but I gotta warn you, they will think we...uh...know each other carnally..."

"Carnally?...Oh..."

Eddie instantly regretted mentioning it when he saw her hesitate.

"Forget it, it was a stupid idea."

"No,no,no, he'll absolutely hate it, I love your idea!" There was something evily determined in her smile.

"...but...how are we going to make him think that?"

"Roll down your window a bit and climb in the backseat."

Eddie tried his best to be respectful and not stare as her tiny cheer skirt flipped up, revealing the cutest butt ,clad in even tinier green cheer shorts, when Chrissy easily and elegantly climbed in the back.

The cheerleader couldn't help but giggle when Eddie clumsily flopped down on the floor of his van, all wild hair and long limbs.

The rear windows were curtained and Eddie pulled another little curtain shut that seperated the front seats from the backseats.

Chrissy was sitting shyly on one of the pillows he kept there for the rare occassion that Corroded Coffin landed a gig outside of Hawkins and he and the band had to sleep in the van, like sardines in a can.

She probably had a different idea of what this van had witnessed; In the dim light of the afternoon sun streaming in through small gaps in the curtains he could see her blushing deeply.

"Chrissy, we don't have to do this if its too weird..."

"I want to make him pay!...And I was hoping if people thought you and I were...you know...a thing, maybe they wouldn't bother me again..."

The memory of the two guys cornering her earlier made her shudder with disgust.

"It'd be my pleasure to defend your honor, Princess!"

He smirked, hoping he didn't look like the nervous, love sick fool he was.

"Really? You would do that?"

"Sure!" (I would do anything for you) he thought.

"Are you ready for the whole school to think you're banging the freak?" He joked.

She sat up straight, nodding her pretty little head, looking like she was waiting to be taught something really profound.

"So...how are we-"

Chrissy's question was cut short as Eddie knelt down, one hand on the back of the drivers seat, one on the cars ceiling, and started rocking the van back and forth.

"Wait! I don't know what to do!" She gasped as she knelt down beside him.

"Just make it sound like you're having a good time." He laughed.

"How would I know what that sounds like?!" She stared at him scandalized.

"Right.." He slowed down the movement and thought about it for a moment.

"Have you ever watched a movie with a sex scene?" She shyly nodded, her face now beet red.

"Just try to make it sound like that."

Eddie peeked out through the curtain and gleefully noticed Jason and his group of jocks staring at his van.

"Still sure about this?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"Mhhh, Fuck! You feel so good!" He suddenly groaned, loud enough for them to hear and a visible shiver went through Chrissy,  she hadn't expected him to sound this way.

"Oh Eddie, just like that!!!"

She tried her best to sound like she was in the throes of passion and Eddie was surprised how well she did it. He was so mesmerized by the crazy glint in her eyes that they almost forgot peeking through the curtain again, just in time to see Jason's head snap in their direction.

"Oh my god he heard us!!"

She giggled and excitedly grabbed his arm.

Spurred on by his shocked expression and those of his friends, who were one by one realizing who they were listening to, she really put on a show and Eddie went along with it.

While they were having fun in the van, (not quite the kind of fun it sounded like) at some point Chrissy clasped her hand over her mouth to muffle her laugh after Eddie let out the most ridiculous moan.

"Let him hear you, laughing during sex is one of the best feelings." 

Eddie grinned at her. When he looked out again he noticed Jason seemingly getting more and more aggravated and as much as he enjoyed seeing him like that he really didn't want them to come over and beat his ass so he whispered:

"Are you ready for the big finale?"

"Yes!"

She answered in her high-pitched-fake-sex voice, making them both laugh.

Eddie almost sounded like he was growling and Chrissy squeezed her thighs together tightly to get some relief from the tingling she felt between her legs.

She tried her best to immitate the sounds she normally had to hide by burying her face in her pillows when she was touching herself at night and it ended up feeling so good that her legs were shaking and she almost blacked out.

"Come for me, Princess!"

"Ah, ah, ah...ahhhhh Eddie!!!"

"Shit!...That sounded so real! You okay?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah, you?"

He nodded, grinning like a mad man. They were both flushed and out of breath as if they really just had sex.

He tried to discreetly adjust his pants and he was glad he was wearing black jeans, at least they somewhat hid the outline of his raging boner.

"We gotta look a bit more disheveled...May I?" He motioned to her hair and Chrissy wasn't quite sure what he was about to do but she agreed.

He gently pulled the green scrunchie from her ponytail, slipped it onto his wrist and tousled her hair, she inhaled sharply at the feeling of his nimble fingers playfully dancing across her scalp.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No...it feels nice."

She answered shyly but truthfully as she leaned into his touch.

He was surprised when she suddenly did the same to him and he realized just how nice it felt.

He wanted to kiss her and for a moment he wondered if she'd kiss him back; but he instantly felt like an ass for even thinking about this when he remembered how freaked out she was by those two guys in the hallway.

"Can I give you hug?"

"Yeah" He chuckled incredulously and added "We just had sex, of course we can cuddle."

She giggled as she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, Chrissy was flooded with an unfamiliar feeling of warmth and security when Eddie returned the hug and she wanted to never let go of him.

"Come on, lets get out of here before your... ex-boyfriend and his buddies come over here."

Surprisingly she liked the sound of that, ex-boyfriend.

Eddie quickly shrugged off his vest and leather jacket and Chrissy did the same with her cheer jacket. He climbed back into the frontseat first, then(like a real gentleman, not like they just made everyone listening think he rearranged her guts) helped the tiny cheerleader, even though she didn't need any help, get situated in her seat again.

Ironically when he started the engine, 'Fuck like a beast' started playing and he couldn't help but turn up the volume as they drove past Jason and his friends. If looks could kill, they both would've dropped dead. Chrissy stuck her arm out of the window and flipped Jason off with a sweet smile on her rosy lips, Eddie leaned over the middle console, flashed him a shit-eating grin and did the same thing, making sure to show off Chrissy's scrunchie around his wrist; He was so close that she could feel his breath on her skin and the tips of his wild,long hair grazing her shoulder sent a shiver down her spine.

She wanted to kiss him so badly but she figured, since they'd be spending some time together today, she'd get plenty of chances to do so without an audience and without Eddie thinking she just wanted to put on a show for Jason.

#just a silly little headcanon I had in my drafts for a while #HelIcheer #eddissy #headcanon #eddie munson #chrissy x eddie #chrissy cunningham #eddssy #fanfiction #oneshot

[mlobsters]

supernatural s6e19 mommy dearest (w. adam glass)

well my whole eve/victoria pedretti mind connection (also this afternoon was crying for a good 20 minutes while painting and rewatching the haunting of hill house) this disabling the exit to the bar and then everyone trying to eat each other reminds me of that church scene in midnight mass (was she even in that one? lol) but way less emotionally fraught. and shorter. adds to the list of gif comparatives of various stuff with spn that i may never get around to because making gifs is tedious work i don't particularly enjoy.

i think i'm delighted to hear licensed music because it's so infrequent now and it's a lot more fun than the score 😬

when i was a kid, i helped my dad fill shotgun shells using something like this (primarily for shooting skeet at a range though he also hunted)

anyway. dean is using a literal tablespoon to put the phoenix's ashes in these special shells apparently. fear not, a well used shotgun shell reloader in the back there (lee load-all reloader only $79.99 at cabela's!)

DEAN Why has it always got to be me that makes the call, huh? It's not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude's busy. (Cas appears behind him. Dean turns around, surprised) Cas, get out of my ass!

CAS I was never in your–

wait hold up is this like that weird wording that i talked about before, out of your ass...

okay this must be a wording thing because they had pestilence use the same and i was very perplexed by the phrasing. SHERIFF MILLS I lose my job over this, I am taking it out of your ass! s5e21 DR. GREEN You mean my brothers. What they did to my brothers. No. The only reasonable thing to do here is to…take it out of their healthy young asses!

that's so strange. anyway. woo they can use more gay innuendo jokes because they have a non-brother dude who we're saying/joking/but actually saying has Feelings for dean to be on the receiving end (har har) 😑

LENORE I remember. Your hunter friend almost killed me.

SAM Well if it makes you feel any better, uh, he turned into a vampire and I chopped his head off.

DEAN Yeah. With razor wire. Wicked.

dean's so proud

okay so thank fuck they didn't make sam kill another pretty lady that was a monster. we don't need madison 2.0.

CAS We needed to move this along.

mr funny again

🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

CAS Something in this town, is, uh, it's affecting me. I assume it's Eve.

DEAN So wait, Mom's making you limp?

CAS Figuratively, yes.

DEAN How?

CAS I don't know, but she is.

DEAN Well, that's great, because without your power, you're basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

SAM I think you hurt his feelings.

don't be an asshole, dean. this is why i called cas a work friend :p

my dad travelled a ton for work when i was a kid so he always had a company car. one of them was a chevy caprice classic like this one, but white.

well the baby in the trench coat decapitated someone. good enough for you, dean?

reflection in the glass just reminding me of how model-pretty jensen's face is

are the kids gonna be monsters and try to eat sam and dean. okay the oldest "kid" has visible stubble and is 24. baby face and short stature and no pesky child actor rules

CAS We need to find Eve now.

DEAN Yeah. Go. Me and Sam just gotta make a milk run.

CAS We need your help here.

DEAN Hold your water. We'll be back in a few.

CAS Dean, Dean. Millions of lives are at stakes here, not just two. Stay focused.

my face at the "stay focused": 😒 like being told to relax

DEAN Are you kidding?

CAS There's a greater purpose here.

DEAN You know what, I-I'm getting a little sick and tired of the greater purposes, okay? I think what I'd like to do now is save a couple of kids. If you don't mind. We'll catch up.

*schmoopy music*

oh the brother mush intensifies! big brother tells little brother he should get some rest and they cuddle up to sleep. and sam looks at dean, dean smiles fondly. sam makes his thinking thoughtful face out the window as he (obviously) thinks about how dean took care of him haha

BOBBY They won't take long.

CAS You don't know that. They may find more wayward orphans along the way.

😂

BOBBY Oh, don't get cute.

CAS Right. Pardon me for highlighting their crippling and dangerous empathetic response with "sarcasm". It was a bad idea – letting them go.

BOBBY Come on. You don't let Sam and Dean Winchester do squat. They do what they gotta. You know that.

haha pissy cas again, a treat. and ain't that the truth, they're gonna do what they want to do, come hell or highwater

oh my god the extended family reunion and the exchanged looks with sam and dean. WE GET IT, GUYS. feeling soft about big brothers taking care of little brothers. saving lives, reuniting families

this is so interesting, in a way, because i had no idea that cas had this darkside situation going on. the thing with the souls, the torturing. i know nothing about his character arc! when i know a lot about sam and dean's

lol so one of the kids was a monster. all gone, the mushy feelings

EVE You look upset. If it makes you feel any better, Ryan was bound to work on you. Little wayward orphan, like yourselves. There's nothing you can do about it now. So let's talk.

samantha smith's voice (eve as mary here) reminds me of someone in hill house. i think elizabeth reaser (played shirley [also esme in twilight])?

this whole thing is a lot. glad dean had some amazing forethought to consume some of the ash to make himself poisonous to her eating him LOLL

cas finally gettin something cool to do

demons *gasp*

so is cas working with crowley? i admit to tuning out a little when eve was talking about the soul battery stealing plan

well i guess that answers that. something weirdly satisfying about crowley scolding cas, what's that about

while i was looking up sam's boots, because i'm a weirdo, this site boldly declared dean winchester smells like some particular fragrance. i thought that was weird to be so specific without a source mentioned and so then i go searching the internet for dean winchester cologne. and ended up some pinterest link that is a youtube video of a con thing with j2 and jackles saying he wears tom ford "wood" (note: it's oud wood, but oud means a type of wood. agarwood wood.) and "it works" and then padalecki asking where he sprays it. i think for my sanity it is best i continue to avoid bts/con related content

like, nothing on the hey i know you front. suddenly started getting exclusively side characters actors i've never seen in anything else

also i guess eve is dead? that was anticlimactic. like a slightly longer than usual monster of the week. i guess we can't be working under the threat of being sent to hell all the time

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 6x19 #shotshell reloader #chevy caprice classic #adam glass