Asmo: MC, I noticed you love wearing that hoodie but you never actually have the hood up.
Mammon: Oh yeah, I don't think I've ever seen ya fully wear that.
MC: Do you want me to put it on?
Everyone: *nods*
MC: *puts it on and everyone sees it has cat ears on it*
All 11 of them: *collectively die from cuteness*
Luke: Wha-
MC: That's why I don't use it up, it holds too much power...
Luke: *speechless*
MC: Anyway, wanna get a matching one? 😊
Luke: ...
Yes, please.
1K notes
·
View notes
i’m thinking about asmo constantly finding reasons to shove his pretty, bi-colored nails into your mouth.
it begins innocently enough: some whipped cream gets on your cheek while you’re hanging out together at a new café that’s all over devilgram. asmo nonchalantly swipes up the fluffy morsel with his thumb and presses it to your lips (“oops!” he giggles). you’re a little taken aback by the gesture, but you can’t deny him—not when he wears his saccharine smile that crinkles his rose gold eyes. so you wrap your lips around his perfectly manicured digit, gently licking up the cream.
what you don’t know at the moment—but discover months later as he thrusts his fingers down your throat while lapping hungrily at your chest—is that you’ve opened up a world of oral delights with the avatar of lust.
153 notes
·
View notes
dabihawks are a perfect ship like they're a blue-red dynamic they're character foils one was the son of a hero and became a villain one was the son of a villain and became a hero they're heavy-handed societal extremes they're perfect opposites they're the exact same they're child soldiers they're animal motif coded there is so much there symbolically to justify the ship but if you asked me the real reason i enjoy them? they are insane. like they are both so freakishly mentally ill and they're dysfunctional and toxic and traumatised and they bug the fuck out of each other and they hate each other and they understand each other's morals better than anyone while still fundamentally opposing each other and i want nothing more than to put those two freaks in situations just to see who explodes the other first
674 notes
·
View notes
>Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago.
>Get startled by phone ringing.
>It’s one of my players.
DIRK: Dude, it’s midnight. You good?
JADE: yeah!! yeah sorry if i woke you :( could i ask for a favor?
>OhGodSheKilledSomeone.gif
DIRK: Uh, sure? Shoot.
JADE: my daughter cant sleep, could you tell a quick story over speaker phone? she loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed but left my laptop at the office so i cant play them!!
>NaniTheFuck.mp3
DIRK: She listens to us to fall asleep?
JADE: yeah!! but she really likes your plot and npc acting bits. she calls you “dumb dumb mister”. guess “dungeon master” is a bit hard for a preschooler hehe
DIRK: Wow… Well, if it will help her sleep, then sure.
JADE: YESSS thank you! ok give me a sec to head back to her room... ...ok youre on speaker!
DIRK: Hey Ruby, it’s Uncle Dirk.
RUBY: [HAPPY GASP] DUMB DUMB MISTER
>I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
DIRK: You ready for a story about [DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE] the time your mommy and her friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?
RUBY: [INCOMPREHENSIBLE HAPPY SQUEALING NOISES]
>I then proceed to spend nearly 20 minutes spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep.
>Friend thanks me for the help and says she’ll see me on game night.
>Lie down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked her.
>I am the dumb dumb mister.
262 notes
·
View notes