#the gays took a w today we won big

[horseshoemybeloved]

YAAAAASSS!!!!

#the gays took a w today we won big #momentous day in the gay community #SAUR HAPPY #I’m glad he’s feeling better :) #fall out boy #fob #art #my art #fall out boy fan art #joe trohman #patrick stump #fob8 #smfs #so much for stardust #doodle #retro art

[pineapplerightsideupcake]

how do you as a bisexual come to terms with the fact that the trans community has literally made homophobia much worse. ppl are proudly being openly homophobic and when you dig deeper it’s actually the “queers” and transgenders who think kids can transition who they have a problem with (not all of course but a good chunk) I believe ppl who wouldn’t otherwise be homophobic are being homophobic bc of the trans community. I use to really struggle w internalized homophobia, and still do, it was only this past year where I came to terms w it and told my sister/close friends. I wish it could be just a normal thing to be gay and you’d be left alone, I believe we were on a trajectory for that. But now things have gotten worse, and thanks to the gender nonsense, openly bigoted ppl (especially religious) are being praised and promoted. All this bc of trans activism. I don’t even care anymore about what they do to themselves, but the damage they’ve done to actual gay ppl is insane and we’re already facing the backlash. I’m not sure if we’ll ever live in a world where being lgb isn’t a big deal.

Honestly? I think the benefit of pushing 40 is that I have a wider lens through which to view activism. And I feel the same way about LGB rights as I do about women’s rights.

Which is to say, every time a big gain is won, there is backlash. There are parts of society that get worse as the culture tries desperately to adjust around the new changes.

Men today are more porn sick and sexually aggressive than 20 years ago. In some ways. People are polling less positively about the LGTBQI+ but how much of that backlash is really directed at the LGB? Are polling groups even bothering to distinguish between LGB and “queer” people?

Let me tell you what life was like as a bisexual teen in 2003. Let’s go back 20 years and I can tell you the world has changed so much for the better. 20 years ago gay rights activists started really making headway towards civil rights guarantees. Suddenly middle Americans had to confront that gay people were among them and not just haunting bars and bathhouses. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such rigid gender norm adherence as I did back then. Men couldn’t wear pastels or purple or pink. Guys got called gay for having a messenger bag. There is an entire episode of “Friends” about it. Sussing out the Gays Among Us became obsessive. Emo culture was a direct response to how frantic straight people were to appear duly heterosexual. TV shows still depicted us as degenerate freaks if they depicted us at all. A few HBO shows that were soft core porn more than anything and Will and Grace was all anybody had. Shows like Xena and Buffy got away with lesbians because men said out loud that hot women kissing was fine. These were the early days of straight men having open lesbian fetishizes. We couldn’t get married. We could get fired for being gay.

For women there was no movement to normalize our natural bodies. I’d spend hours shaving myself smooth. Not wearing makeup was unheard of. Cellulite wasn’t even a word I knew let alone knew was normal. There weren’t a million online resources teaching women that vaginal discharge is normal and I grew up thinking (as did many others) that it was a private shame.

And as far as MeToo stuff? It’s easy to feel defeated in the moment but nobody was using the word ‘consent’ in my day. Men getting women drunk was a joke. Men pushing for sex was a joke. Men calling a woman that had one too many dates or boyfriends a slut was normal. Three of my male friends pinned me down on several occasions and took turns rubbing their dicks on me to completion.

The therapist I told said I “needed to work on my boundaries”. The word rape never even entered my mind. Rape was something a stranger with a knife did. It wasn’t something your best friends did to you and then laughed about. It isn’t something you submitted to because fawn and freeze are real fear responses. No one told me my friend forcing my hand down his pants was abuse because I continued to go over his house, didn’t I? No one told me about red flags or cycles of abuse.

And the older women you told rolled their eyes. What I endured was so mild compared to many other women. Men forcing themselves onto women was just normal.

I can’t tell you what it means to me to see so many young women calling it out. Refusing to stay in a bad situation. Refusing to date entirely sometimes. Women sharing red flags and advice to stay not just safe but thriving.

Don’t get me wrong- the current gender movement is regressive and dangerous. I’m not saying it’ll all work itself out. Activism is constant work but things ARE getting better. They really are, even if sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. 💜

#radical feminism #radical feminist safe #radical feminist community #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists do touch #radblr #radical feminists please interact #radical feminists please touch

[marauders-venting]

This Love

pairing: wolfstar (remus x sirius)

genre: fluff & angst

warnings: mentions of drowning, child abuse, physical abuse, death/murder, war, grief and guilt

words: 3679

note: based on the song ‘This Love’ by Taylor Swift

a/n: this is a request I got from someone on Instagram :)

okay I know that sirius ran away from home at 16 and they’re not supposed to use magic outside of Hogwarts until their 17 but uhhh idk just pretend that sirius ran away at 17. or that they can do magic at 16, whatever you prefer

Clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in and I could go on and on, on and on, and I will. Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again and you were just gone and gone, gone and gone. In silent screams, in wildest dreams I never dreamed of this

“Hey,” Remus said, waving as he saw Sirius approaching. His nervous expression rearranged itself into a smile when he saw Remus.

“Remus!” Sirius said, rushing towards him and hugging him. The embrace is quick and short, Sirius pulling back as quickly as he came in, but it’s enough to make Remus’ heart pound ridiculously fast in his chest. “I’d ask you how your summer’s been but I guess I already know,” Sirius added with a laugh. Remus smiled. They had been exchanging letters back and forth all summer long. Not that they didn’t usually write to each other over breaks but Remus was pretty sure this summer they had broken the world record for most letters sent in a month.

Remus had planned on using this time away from Sirius to try and get over his crush but the second he saw Sirius walking around the beach he knew he had failed. If anything, being away from Sirius, missing him, had only made Remus’ feelings of longing more intense.

“Come on, let’s sit,” Remus said. He had already spread a towel out on the sand near the water before when he was waiting for Sirius and they sat on it now. “How’d you manage to get away in the end?”

“I just snuck out the window,” Sirius said, shrugging. “And then I took a taxi like you taught me and I used the muggle money you sent me. I will pay you back for that by the way.”

“Don’t bother,” Remus said. “Think of it as me paying you back for all the chocolate you bought me on the last Hogsmeade visit at the end of last year. Nobody knows you’re gone?”

“Nah, they’re not expecting me down for dinner anyway so it’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” Remus asked nervously.

“Yeah,” Sirius said. Remus wasn’t convinced. “Hey, come on, don’t worry about them. We’re here now, let’s enjoy it.” Sirius flopped back on the towel, lying on his back, arms stretched up above his head, shirt riding up and revealing a strip of skin above the waistband of his pants that Remus was actively trying to avoid staring at. Sirius was right. They had discussed this all summer, planning exactly how they would make it work. He wouldn’t ruin it by worrying now that they were finally here.

“Yeah, okay,” Remus said, smiling. And lying down next to Sirius. He looked up at the sky. It was a brilliant orange now, the rays of the setting sun giving it the colour. “You feel like going for a swim?”

“Okay,” Sirius said, grinning. They raced into the ocean, spraying each other water so they were soaked before they even got in past their knees. Remus kept going deeper until only his head was above water.

“Come on, Moony, that’s not fair, I can’t stand here,” Sirius complained, treading water beside him.

“Then swim,” Remus replied.

“Swimming is the one thing that I’m not the best at,” Sirius admitted grudgingly.

“What, all that old family money and your parents never paid for swimming lessons?” Remus teased but he followed Sirius back to the shallows.

“I think they were hoping I’d just drown actually,” Sirius said once he could stand. “I wonder why Reg never got any swimming lessons though. Well, it’ll be on their conscience if he ever drowns. If they even have a conscience, that is.”

“What if you drown?”

“Oh, it definitely wouldn’t be a weight on their conscience. They’d probably pat themselves on the back and go ‘see, this is what happens to gay, Gryffindor, blood traitors.”

“That’s… really fucked up,” Remus said. Sirius shrugged and submerged his head in the water. When he came back up, Remus splashed him in the face, starting a short water fight that Remus had clearly won (no matter what Sirius said).

They didn’t stay in the ocean much longer because the lower the sun sank, the colder the water got. They got out of the water, dried themselves with their wands and then sat back down on their beach towel. The blue water was crystal clear and above it, the sky now looked pink. It was a beautiful sight. But Remus was watching Sirius’ face instead. His wind-swept hair, blue-grey eyes squinting at the setting sun, rays of orange light giving his skin a golden look. Remus’ heart was beating loudly in his ears.

“What?” Sirius asked when he noticed Remus’ staring. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Normally this would be the point where Remus would look away hurriedly, his face burning, claiming that he wasn’t looking at Sirius and joking that he should deflate his ego because not everything was about him. And maybe it was the way Sirius looked today, different from what Remus was used to, in a different setting or maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t seen Sirius in weeks and his resolve had weakened, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away today.

“Moony,” Sirius said. Remus’ heart skipped a beat. “What? Is it my hair?” Sirius’ hand reached up into his hair and ran his fingers through it. It looked both messier and neater somehow. Remus didn’t understand it. Remus would never admit it out loud, not after the number of times he had teased Sirius about it, but Sirius’ hair was every bit as perfect as his arrogant ass claimed it was.

“It’s you,” Remus said, without thinking. “Just… all of you.” Sirius looked at him, eyes wide.

“W-What do you mean?”

“I—” Remus started, when suddenly it hit him what he was about to do. What the fuck was wrong with him? He was going to tell Sirius. He was actually going to do it. “Nevermind,” he mumbles, looking away and blushing as he should’ve done a minute ago when Sirius had caught him staring in the first place.

“What? No, come on, Remus, just tell me,” Sirius teased. Remus shrugged. Sirius turned around so he was facing Remus.

“Remus,” he said, “whatever it is you can tell me. I’m here for you, no matter what.” Remus hesitated.

“Promise you won’t hate me?” he said. He felt stupid asking the question because even if Sirius did promise, it wasn’t a binding contract. Sirius couldn’t control his hatred. Nobody could.

“I promise,” Sirius said. “I could never hate you, Remus.” He looked genuine but Remus knew better than to believe it was true. Promises are broken more often than they’re kept. But not with Sirius, he thinks. Sirius has never broken a promise he made to Remus. Not once. Well, he’s about to, said a voice in his head. Remus tried to ignore that voice as he spoke.

“Okay,” Remus let out a shaky breath. “Okay. I… I like you, Sirius. Like, um, a lot.” Sirius remained silent for a moment.

“I like you too, Rem,” he said quietly. Remus felt his chest burn.

“You don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head. Because Sirius couldn’t… he couldn’t possibly… But his thoughts are interrupted when Sirius speaks again

“Oh, I think I do,” Sirius said. Remus opened his mouth to reply but Sirius got there first. “Can… can I kiss you?” Remus closed his mouth.

“W-What?” he stuttered, his brain taking several moments to process what Sirius had just said to him.

“We don’t have to,” Sirius said hurriedly. “I was only—” But Remus cut him off by pressing their lips together. In a rush of adrenaline, fear and excitement he ignores the voice in his head saying this is a bad idea, that he misunderstood something, that this isn’t really what Sirius wants and instead he listens to Sirius. He hears Sirius’ voice echoing inside his head. Can I kiss you? Can I kiss you? Can I kiss you? Yes, you bloody well can. This is all Remus has wanted, what he’s been dreaming about for months. But not even in his wildest dreams could he have imagined what it would be like to really kiss Sirius. To have Sirius kiss him back. To thread his fingers in Sirius’ hair and feel Sirius’ hands pressing into his back, holding him close. And with all of Remus’ expansive vocabulary, he couldn’t think of a single word to describe this feeling that could even come close to how extraordinary it is. All he could think was Sirius. Sirius is touching me. Sirius is holding me. Sirius is kissing me.

When they break apart, they’re both breathless. Remus can’t think straight. Everything in his brain is one big mess.

“You— I— we just…” Remus has seemingly forgotten how to speak. And the grin on Sirius’ face is definitely not helping.

“Told you I understand,” Sirius said, taking Remus’ hand in his.

“You actually… like me?” Remus asked, bewildered.

“Um, yeah,” Sirius said, laughing as if it had been obvious. “For, like, a really long time.”

“I– why didn’t you say anything?” Remus asked.

“I could ask you the same,” Sirius said, shrugging. “But I don’t think it matters much. What matters is that I like you and you like me and…”

“And?” Remus prompted. Sirius looked him in the eyes and bit his lip.

“And I’d like to, um… take you out. On a date. Sometime. If that’s something that you might be interested in?” He said it like a question, looking nervous up at him.

“Yeah, I– of course, I–I’d love to go on a date with you,” Remus said. He could feel himself blushing. God, he was so awkward. Sirius cupped his cheeks with his hand, leaning towards closer again, ghosting his lips on Remus’.

“Your face is warm,” he said, his lips brushing against Remus’ mouth as he spoke, which only made Remus blush harder.

“Well no fucking shit,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. And then he kissed Sirius properly, fitting their mouths together like it was the most natural thing in the world.

When the sun had gone down, they finally left the beach, each going back to his own home. Remus hadn’t known how badly Sirius would be punished for sneaking out the following day; if he had he might have never agreed to it. Or might have told Sirius not to go home.

It was that summer that Sirius finally decided to run away from home for good. Remus couldn’t help but feel guilty no matter how many times Sirius told him that he would have done it anyway. Besides, meeting at the beach was Sirius’ idea, not Remus’. But Remus couldn’t forget the moment he finally understood just how terrible things had been at the Black household.

He remembered going over to the Potter’s house after getting a letter from James saying that Sirius was staying with him. He remembered being horrified when he saw Sirius’. Bruised and scarred from the blows that his own parents struck and curses that they fired at him. That night he cradled Sirius, holding him close and promising that he would take care of Sirius, that Sirius was safe with him. He told Sirius that he loved him and that he always will. It had never occurred to him that maybe Sirius wouldn’t say the same about him.

Tossing, turning, struggled through the night with someone new and I could go on and on, on and on. Lantern, burning, flickered in the night, only you but you were still gone, gone, gone

Everything had changed in a single night. In a single night, he had lost Lily, James and Peter. He’d lost Sirius too but not in the same way. He’d lost them all because of Sirius. Sirius had killed them. And in doing so, Sirius had been lost as well. He hadn’t died but Remus counted him with the losses. He might as well have died. He’s dead to me, Remus thinks, he doesn’t matter. He killed them. He killed them all. It was all him. The man that he knew had died. Remus had wondered how long ago it had happened.

He had been tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep from fear of the war, images of everyone he had lost, turning to Sirius for comfort. To someone he thought loved him. But this was someone else. Someone new. This wasn’t the boy he’d fallen in love with.

Remus remembered laying in bed the night before everything had gone to hell. It felt like a million years ago, but he remembered it all the same. He remembered how Sirius hadn’t spoken to him in the weeks before. He remembered devising a plan to find out if Sirius still loved him. Because that’s what he did best. At school, he devised plans for pranks. After school, he helped devise plans for the Order. He was good at planning ahead. So he made a plan. Because he couldn’t go on living in the same apartment as Sirius, sleeping in the same bed without exchanging a word, not knowing whether Sirius still reciprocated his feelings. His plan kept him sane. But his plan had failed. Or maybe it had succeeded. It just hadn’t given him the results he’d been hoping for. Because when he got into bed that night, he waited long enough that Sirius would think he was asleep. Then he turned towards Sirius and brushed his fingers on Sirius’ back. And Sirius got up and walked away. And just like that, the last flame of hope Remus had left flicked out.

Remus remembered thinking that Sirius had fallen out of love. But maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he had simply never loved Remus in the first place. Maybe this wasn’t someone new at all. Maybe this person, this murderer, was in fact the very same boy he’d fallen in love with all those years ago. Maybe this was all part of some sick scheme. Maybe Sirius had hated him all along. Sirius had promised he would never hate Remus. But what is a promise, really? Promises are made to be broken. Remus had to learn that time and time again. He should just stop believing people when they make promises. He wouldn’t believe anymore, he told himself. He promised himself. There was nobody left to believe. Nobody left to promise him anything anyway. Sirius was gone. They were all gone, all his friends. And they’re never coming back.

Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave. Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees.

Remus’ world is on fire. Everything has burned the ground and he’s left to scrape away the ashes and try to find something he can put back together. Alone.

He can still feel the sting of Sirius’ lips against his cheek. He can still remember Sirius’ easy smile, his light-hearted laughter ringing through the walls of the room that Remus is in right now. But then he blinks again and now he’s seeing Sirius’ face on a ‘wanted’ poster for the first time. He doesn’t remember how he found the poster that night. It’s not important anyway. All he remembers is the feeling of looking down and seeing a photo of the love of his life behind bars, arrested for the murder of his three best friends. He remembers collapsing. Literally, falling to his knees as quickly as the tears fell down his cheeks. He remembers crying, sobbing, screaming out. 

He remembers thinking of every happy moment he’d ever had with his friends, with his boyfriend. He’d never make any more memories like that. He had felt empty that day. Hollow. That feeling still hasn’t gone away. Remus feels like a ghost. A ghost of the memories from before this all happened. He haunts himself. But Remus is not a ghost. He’s the only one still left alive. He’d rather be a ghost right now. He’d rather be dead. At least then he wouldn’t feel this pain. At least then he wouldn’t feel like he’s been pulled apart. Nobody can glue him back together now. There’s nobody left alive that would try. There’s nobody left alive, period. Nobody but him.

This love is good, this love is bad, this love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh. These hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me, oh, oh, oh. This love left a permanent mark, this love is glowing in the dark, oh, oh, oh. These hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me, oh, oh, oh

Sirius has been staying at Remus’ apartment for a couple of days now, sleeping on the couch in Remus’ living room. It’s been weeks since that night he found out the truth. The night he nearly killed everybody he cared about. The few still left alive. The night he saw Sirius again for the first time in twelve years. It’s been weeks but Remus can’t figure out how he feels about Sirius after everything they’ve been through. On one hand, Remus can’t believe how unbelievably lucky he is to have Sirius back. He can’t believe that Sirius is here. That he’s innocent. And he wants things to go back to how they were. He knows that’s impossible but he wishes it could happen.

But on the other hand, there are still so many complications, so many questions. Is being together wise? Is it advisable? Is it responsible? Even if Sirius wasn’t still a wanted criminal, would they be able to repair their relationship? To pick up their shattered love and piece it back together? They’d been through so much together and so much apart. Remus isn’t the same person he was 12 years ago and neither is Sirius. Does Sirius even still love him? Does he still love Sirius, after everything? He buried those feelings deep, deep down inside him on the night of Sirius’ arrest. Are they still there? Do they still exist, locked somewhere in the depths of his heart? Remus is sure they do. What else could be squeezing in his chest every time he looks at Sirius? It’s like a game of tug-a-war in his mind, back and forth. This love is good, this love is bad.

All this is why, right now, when Sirius is saying that they need to talk and they’re seated in the living room side by side on the couch, Remus feels like words are failing him. He’s disappeared into his own head until Sirius’ words snap him out of it, his voice ringing in Remus’ head.

“Remus?”

“Yeah?” he says, sounding dazed.

“I–I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I would never intentionally hurt you, Remus, I promise.” His eyes pleaded with Remus to believe him. Remus had promised himself that he would never believe people when they make promises. But here he was, believing again. Never believe a promise, even when you’re the one making the promise to yourself. Especially when you make the promise to yourself.

“I—” Sirius starts again, seeing that Remus doesn’t know what to say. He closes his eyes and takes a breath before continuing. “I still love you, Remus. And I understand if you don’t feel the same anymore, really I get it. But I just thought you should know. I’ll always love you.” Remus can barely breathe. Sirius still loves him. This is a bad idea, says a voice in his head. Fuck good and bad. Remus doesn’t care. The important this is that this love is fucking alive. It died. And now it’s back. Back from the dead. Sirius is back. He came back to me, Remus thinks. He’s innocent. He came back and now he’s telling me he still loves me. Sirius is here. Remus desperately wants this to be real. He wants them to be real again.

Sirius’ love left a permanent mark on Remus. Not like his scars. This is something different. More like a tattoo. Something that he’d chosen at first and couldn’t get rid of later. In all the years that Sirius had been in Azkaban, in all the years Remus had willed himself to forget Sirius, to hate him, the tattoo had never faded. And now that Sirius is back, Remus doesn’t have to want it to fade. So in a lapse of judgement, he kisses Sirius. He kisses Sirius and that tiny flame that had flickered out all those years ago is back. Remus feels it fill him up as Sirius kisses him back, hands in hair, arms around waists, fingertips on bare skin. And when they break apart, Remus still feels the warmth of Sirius’ body against his.

“I missed you so much,” Sirius murmurs against his lips and Remus feels like he’s back on that beach the first time he kissed Sirius.

“I missed you too,” Remus says, a tear trickling down his face.

“Really?” Sirius asks, pulling away to look at Remus with his eyebrows raised. “But you thought I was a murderer?”

“I know,” Remus says. “I didn’t want to miss you. But I did. I couldn’t help it. I wanted you back.”

“I’m back now,” Sirius says, hugging Remus tightly. “I’m back and I’m never leaving. And I’m all yours, love.”

“I never stopped loving you,” Remus whispers in his ear, tears spilling from his eyes even though they’re squeezed shut. “I hated myself for it. But I loved you every day you were locked in that cell. And I still love you now.”

“I love you too,” Sirius whispers back.

It’s the only light in this crushing, suffocating darkness of death and war and grief and guilt. That flame, his and Sirius’ love, glows amidst the dark. And it’s what keeps Remus going. And this time, Remus will never let go of Sirius.

#remus lupin #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin angst #sirius black #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #moony #padfoot #wolfstar #WOLFSTAR FLUFF #wolfstar angst #wolfstar fanfic #Wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar oneshot #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #Marauders #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders one shot

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

It’s no secret that Republicans are anti-intellectual, but it makes you wonder what their end goal is?  Why do they keep electing dumber and dumber presidents?  Is it just to own the libs?  Do they just not care?  They’ll get what they want regardless of how smart their presidents are, so why always pick the low hanging fruit?

The only smart Republican of the last 60 years was Bush Sr, and he was a one-term wonder who rode Reagan’s coattails into office.

Nixon was notoriously incompetent as VP, almost beat Kennedy in 1960, threw what should have been a career ending shit fit in 1962 after losing the California governor’s race, but not only came back in 68 and win because Goldwater was so unpopular in 64, but won 72 in the greatest landslide in history up to that point.  Corrupt to the bone, he resigned before he could be impeached for hiring burglars to steal dirt on a political opponent, covering it up, and lying about it.

Ford was appointed VP to replace scandal stricken Spiro Agnew, specifically chosen because he was known as an honest politician.  His reputation evaporated the second he became president because his first act was to pardon the guiltiest man in the country; he lost handily in 76.

Reagan was an actor who wanted to play politician so he could hurt the people he didn’t like; blacks people, poor people, gay people, women.  It was a power trip for him, and because he was good at reading cue cards and delivering jokes written by other people, everyone let him get away with murder.  He committed treason by selling weapons to Iran; this isn’t hyperbole, the actual definition of treason includes giving aid to out enemies, and after the oil and hostage crises of the 70s, Iran was an enemy first and foremost.  Oliver North took the blame and had his secretary shred the evidence, the President Bush pardoned everyone involved.  Reagan won in an even bigger landslide than 72 in 84, and Bush won in a major upset against Dukakis in 88.

Bush lost in 92 in no small part because of Ross Perot splitting the ticket; no third party candidate has ever done better nationwide than Perot in 92, with 19% of the vote (though he didn’t win a single state, which some minor candidates have done).  Clinton won with 43% of the popular vote.  Forty-three percent!  57% of people voted against him, and he won.  92 was a farce, as was 96 with less than 50% voter turnout, the lowest in modern history.  Perot ran again and got 8.4% of the vote, Republican Bob Dole only got 40.7%, and Clinton got 49.2%.  This means that less than a quarter of eligible voters voted for Bill Clinton, and he still won.  FARCE!

Al Gore rightfully won in 2000, but the conservative majority Supreme Court stole it from him.  Florida was too close to call; whichever candidate won it would become president.  George W. Bush’s brother Jeb was governor, and he ordered the federally mandated recount be stopped, breaking the law.  The Supreme Court decided not to restart the recount for no discernible reason besides they wanted Bush to win.  He was notoriously dumb, stereotypically dumb, so dumb a lot of people thought it was an act and voted for him because they thought he was a secret genius who was just pretending to be a cowboy running for president off his daddy’s legacy.  He was the stupidest president we had ever had up to that point, and hired a lot of smart people to do horrible things so he could claim plausible deniability.  That Obama didn’t send Dick Cheney to the Hague was a deafening silence.  Bush only won re-election in 2004 because he started a war in Iraq in 2003 and the country didn’t want to change horses midstream; same exact tactic his daddy used, only this war lasted longer than the Gulf and “worked” as planned.

2008 was a ceremonial race; McCain didn’t stand a chance.  He was not incompetent, but his running mate was.  Sarah Palin was even dumber than Bush, and like Gingrich in the 90s was responsible for a conservative revolution we’re still feeling today.  Barack Obama wasn’t an amazing president, but he was an AMAZING candidate.  Everybody loved Obama in 2008, he won more votes than any candidate in history until 2020.  McCain was a career moderate, and after the last 8 years of failure both parties were running on a platform of “I am not George W. Bush.”  Turns out a young charismatic smart black man is less like Bush than another old white guy.

Obama lost a ton of momentum going into 2012 because he didn’t really DO anything his first term.  His only major accomplishment was the Affordable Care Act, which was an act of the Democratic congress than anything else, and it still wasn’t nearly as progressive as it needed to be (the US is still the only developed nation without universal healthcare).  Romney, a Republican governor from the Democratic stronghold of Massachusetts, could have beaten him were he not a classist piece of shit.  Romney hated poor people more than Reagan, and once wore brown face to a campaign event to make himself look more like Obama (they didn’t paint his hands or neck, just his face).  Obama made a lot of promises he didn’t keep, in no small part because of the Tea Party and the devastating losses in 2014 (we suffer under Mitch McConnell because of that).

2016 was a dumpster fire that shouldn’t have happened, and if either party had run a different candidate, it wouldn’t have.  Sanders would have beaten Trump, Clinton would have beaten Cruz.  It was a perfect storm of a very unpopular and insincere grandma running against a cartoon supervillain.  You couldn’t repeat that with what we know now.  Your vote in 2016 came to represent who you were as a person; people took it to the extremes, and the sunk cost fallacy made the entire Republican party shift so far rightward that we have actual concentration camps now and NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!  Trump was a game show host, a used car salesman famous for being tacky and dumb and offensive.  He was KNOWN for running his companies into the ground, that was his MO, he made a career out of bankruptcy, and Republicans still can’t believe that he drove us into the worst economic depression since the last Republican (history repeat itself, whoop-dee-doo).  Biden won in 2020 because of record turnout, though 2020 was closer to the intentional walk of 2012 than the home run of 2008 in terms of enthusiasm for the candidates.

If we’ve learned anything its that Republicans just keep getting worse and worse, so it’s getting hard for me to imagine what 2024 has in store.  Will Trump risk losing the popular vote 3 times in a row for a second term?  i think he’ll pretend to so he can scam millions of dollars out of his base, but he’ll either lost the primaries and tank the Republicans by running third-party, or he’ll drop out and endorse one of his spawn.  If Biden decides not to run in 2024, the nomination will almost certainly go to Kamala Harris, at which point I expect the Republicans to run a woman as well, so that we’re guaranteed the first woman president; she’ll be young, and white, and blonde.  My money’s on Ivanka.  Kamala vs. Ivanka will be a repeat of the 2016 dumpster fire, only worse because then everyone would be acting like both candidates are feminist icons, #GirlPower #SheRunsTheWorld #WarCrimesAreBetterWithTwoXChromosomes  If Biden DOES run again, then I suspect the Republican pool will be wide early on (Prick Scott, Ron DeathSantis, Uncle Tom Cotton, Nikkki Haley, you name it), only to shrink before the primaries as they all coordinate to get behind someone strong enough to defeat an incumbent.

Republicans are very good at coordinating; they are the party of “Follow the Leader.”  Whoever is in charge has 100% authority, no ifs, ands, or buts, no questions asked, just follow orders.  It would be easy to call them lemmings, but it’s more insidious than this.  They run dumb candidates for president, but have very smart people working behind the scenes to do horrible things.  They’re willing to follow orders blindly to ensure that the party prospers, whereas Democrats are chicken running around with their heads cut off.  There are no Democratic leaders.  Pelosi?  Schumer?  Nobody likes those dinosaurs!  The only really popular Democrats are progressives, and they will never have power as long as the moderates have a majority of the caucus.  AOC could be a senator someday; she could replace Schumer whenever he retires, but that would hinge on her not having any moderate primary challengers.  Moderates are still very popular because they are seen as “electable,” even though they never DO anything once elected.  Progressives have big ideas and the concrete plans to get them done, but the moderate establishment is afraid of losing power, and would rather placate the other side doing nothing, changing nothing, making no waves.  The party needs to shift leftward, or the country is doomed.

I would suggest the progressives splitting off to form a third party, but that would almost certainly destroy left-wing politics in this country as every safe seat would become split.  In an ideal world, it would be a nominal change; they would be the Progressive Democratic Party, they would continue to run in blue districts and caucus with Democrats on votes, but would advertise themselves as anti-establishment.  They would be like the New Democrats in Canada, which now that I think about it is a very bad idea because the New Democrats have no power and end up giving more votes to the Liberals and Conservatives instead.  The Progressive solution is intended to show the caucus that the moderates don’t have total control, but it would end up with the moderate Democrats shooting themselves in the foot, running against Progressives in every seat, handing them to the Republicans.  Every election cycle people act like a loss would spell “the end of the _____ party,” but this would actually be it for the Democrats.  It would be a turning point, like the 1960s, with millions of people changing parties out of principle, a major shift.  A Red Scare

I just want to crawl in a hole and die.  I hate politics.

#i hate politics #politics #political #political rant #rant #elections #2024 #democrats #democratic party #republicans #republican party #partisan #partisanship #idiocy #anti-intellectualism #anti-intellectual #anti intellectualism #anti intellectual #antiintellectualism #antiintellectual #dumb #nixon #ford #reagan #bush #w #trump

[adzandiel-blog]

Fine, We Were Responsible for the Straight Pride Parade

*Originally titled "the time we thought straight people couldn’t get any dumber, made a bet, and then watched as they hit rock bottom and kept digging"

This is mainly directed at you Straight Pride Parade bastards. I read an article today, showed it to Aden, and we decided that yeah, we should probably fess up in a minor way.

You know that feeling sometimes when you trip or fall in your dream, and wake up with a jolt, feeling like you just fell a long way?‌ Yeah, I need to take credit for that idea. Not that I go around each night in the metaphysical dream realm and throw people off cliffs just for the kicks1, but that whole jolting you awake at 3 AM thing? That was totally my business pitch.

Anyway, that doesn’t relate in any way to this post.‌ Just keep in mind that we (both angels and demons alike) have the ability to just dip into others’ dreams and extend a little Heavenly or infernal influence.

This is a relatively recent event compared to all the other stories we’ve got, but we figured it’s a fun story to tell.

A few months ago, Aden and I‌ saw a gay couple being kicked out of a coffee shop, with the manager proclaiming loudly that ‘this is a Christian establishment’2 3 and that said couple should never return. And I’m the demon and all, yes, but then, I had to almost physically restrain Aden from rushing at the homophobic dick and giving him a shiner.

We left right alongside the couple in protest, bought them a meal at another diner4, and I‌ personally made sure that when the manager went home that night, he’d find that his walls were much thinner than he remembered, and that the couples living next to him, below him, and above him suddenly had much more energy for their libidos.

So when we went home that night, we were suitably tipsy, which is a context that often leads to entertainingly tangent-y discussions. It started with Aden drunkenly flipping through the Bible, finding Leviticus 18:22, and cursing when he finds the translation wrong.5

See, the thing is, the English translation of the Hebrew Bible is just slightly off. America paid for it, back in the day, and we’re not entirely sure what the Hell happened6 with the translation, but it came out different and gave millions of people the wrong impression.

In the Hebrew, Greek, German, Swedish, Norwegian, and undoubtedly countless many other translations of the Bible, the quote “Man shall not lie with man as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination” is instead (correctly) translated into “Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination”.7

See the difference?

It’s all a great big bloody misunderstanding, is what it is. The Bible condemns pederasty.

So we began thinking. If millions—billions, really—of desperate Christians will believe and live by a wrong translation, how much stupider can they get?

We made a bet.

Aden’s money was on straight people already hitting rock bottom. Mine was on the belief that straight people—and people, in general—have, in fact, already hit rock bottom, but that it wouldn’t stop them from descending further.8 In fact, I‌ said, I can hear the pick-axe sales skyrocketing already.

And we had to prove that one of us was right, didn’t we?

So our million-dollar idea was this: If we could get someone to celebrate heterosexuality with pride, in the sense of June being Pride Month9 and rainbows being flags of proud defiance against oppression and all, then I‌ would win the bet. If our targets refused to do something so blatantly disrespectful, then Aden would win.

You can probably guess who won.10

That night and the rest of the nights in the week, Aden and I would occasionally infiltrate and pop up in random dreams of heterosexual Christians (and/or other religions/lack thereof) and we tried our best to influence them into thinking that they, as straight people, deserve to be celebrated and proud of their sexuality.11

We didn’t expect it to, you know, work.12

And the thing is, you know, this isn’t even a new thing!‌ I went ahead and researched straight pride parades, and apparently, it’s been around since the late 1900’s, which is ridiculous. Humanity’s been around for… as long as we have, which is give-or-take five millennium, and they still sit around with the ability to pull this kind of utter bullshit.

How incredibly stupid is that?

I don’t remember their names (the guys behind the parade in Boston), but just in case they’re reading this:‌ Hi. Right big idiotic bastards, the lot of you. So idiotic, really, it’s almost hilarious. And besides that, you have an incredibly stupid website with an equally ridiculous domain name.

And one last thing:‌ Advocating to put an ‘S’ in ‘LGBTQ’?‌

God, Satan, and every being in between, I don’t even know where to start with that one.

It’sGreatToBeStraight…InOurCoreBeliefsOfRespectingTheLGBTQ+Community. God bless, Satan strengthen, Amen, and all that.

Until next time, folks. Don't make us write our next post with righteous anger again.

Or… kick people off cliffs just for the throws? ↩︎

Which, by the way, is an utterly stupid thing to say in response to kicking gay couples out of your establishment. Fuck you if you do that. God never said shit about disliking gay couples, She only talked about disliking pedophiles. And Her son just disliked figs. We would know. Aden met him once. In a stroke of demonic genius, I introduced him to apples. He liked them. ↩︎

The waiter who was serving the couple looked downright mortified and embarrassed about his superior’s behavior. Aden managed to convince him—afterwards, in a subtle manner—to resign, and he made sure of the fact that the ex-waiter (he couldn’t have been more than 18 in age) found a nice job with decent pay. ↩︎

The diner in mention had friendly people running the place and excellent food. The couple was grateful, and insisted on buying us drinks. Right now, the four of us are engaged in a loop of buying each other food and drinks. It’s fun, really. ↩︎

Aden wants me to mention that he never curses. That’s wrong, because I‌ can quote him, word for word, on that night—“Zan, Zan, would yo—look at this. Look at this bullshit—’Man shall not lie with man, for it is an abomination’—they really thought that was—God, ‘m not drunk enough for this shit”—and many other nights as well. Don’t give me that look, angel. ↩︎

Although Hell definitely might’ve happened. My kind aren’t inherently homophobic or anything, but it wouldn’t have been unthinkable for a demon to think it funny for a large amount of people to hate homosexuals. I’m not that guy. Abaddon definitely would’ve approved the idea, though. Whichever bastard it was probably got a commendation for it. ↩︎

This is because, back in those days, they encouraged a system in which boys (with ages ranging from 8-12) were able to be ‘coupled’ by older men. There’s even Ancient Greek documents that show us how their parents used this bullshit to help their sons’ social status. Needless to say, there was a lot of demonic curses going around in Ancient Greek. I used up my quota then and had to call Abaddon for an extension. ↩︎

The commonly known phrase ‘The descent into Hell is easy’ drowns out a long-forgotten alternate; "facilius descensus fatuitas", which more or less translates to ‘Easier is the descent into foolishness’. ↩︎

My idea. Aden helped. ↩︎

Three things to do as I‌ wished on Aden’s part. Still got two to go. Details not privy. ↩︎

It took Aden a lot of convincing on my part for him to actually do something that wasn’t purely good and angelic in nature, but it worked. Mainly because we were bored, and we don’t have much to lose if our automatically-generated reports to our respective Head Offices don’t shine a good light on us. Besides, we made them forget their dreams, but retain the influence. ↩︎

I‌ mean, I‌ did, but… I‌ didn’t. You know? ↩︎

#lgbtq #lgbt #gay pride! #aden's an angel of heaven and he supports it #i'm a demon of hell and i support it #really you have no argument against NOT supporting it #pride #queer pride

[penguin-writes-books]

Hello! The angst anon again and sorry for making u uncomfortable oops. But hey, how bout some fake/pretend relationship w lots of fluff?? Tyrus is gd but anything is fine :)))

You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I just wouldn’t know how to go about tackling something like a school shooting. It has such a gravity to it.

Anyway, yesss cute prompt. (Also I’m ignoring the fact that Josh said Cyrus can’t cook because I feel like he absolutely can and is super extra about it)

—

“I need a really really big favor,” Cyrus started, skipping a greeting, as soon as TJ picked up his facetime.

“Why hello to you too, Underdog,” TJ sat up in bed, readjusting his skewed glasses. “But shoot.”

“Oh no! I woke you up? I’m so sorry!” Cyrus exclaimed.

“No no it’s fine! I just fell asleep reading, but you’re worth waking up for,” TJ shamelessly flirted. “What do you need?”

“Brace yourself,” Cyrus warned, oblivious to TJ’s romantic intentions.

“I’m ready,” TJ chuckled.

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” Cyrus said quickly, bracing himself for TJ’s response. 

“Okay,” TJ shrugged.

Cyrus spent a few moments staring at TJ. His dark brown eyes met sparkling green, and for a moment all else was lost. Cyrus could feel his heart fluttering in his chest, and felt a newfound appreciation for his rib cage, for he was sure it was the only reason his heart was still within his body.

“Uh… What? I- I had reasons prepared. I was ready to beg and plead and- and you’re just. You’re just saying okay?” Cyrus stammered in disbelief.

“I mean, yeah. You seem like you just dug yourself into quite the hole, and you need me to take away the shovel,” TJ smiled at his own comparison, and Cyrus could have sworn he could feel himself falling more in love with the boy by the second. “So of course I’ll do it.”

“Really?”

“Anything for you, Underdog. On one condition,” TJ said, smiling coyly.

“Oh no. What’s the condition?” Cyrus asked nervously.

“It’s really not that bad, don’t worry! I just want to know the whole story as to why I’m doing this?”

“Ugh, fine.” Cyrus exaggerated. “I was basically ambushed today by all four of my parents. I went downstairs to find something for lunch, like a normal person, and I found not only my mom and step-father, but all FOUR of my parents. And boy let me tell you. You have no idea how awkward it is to walk into a room full of therapists, all talking over coffee, and then they just stop talking. It was so obvious they were talking about me, oh my god. Anyway, I walked in and all four of them just stared at me the entire time I made lunch- fajitas, by the way. I swear they didn’t even blink. It was terrifying, they were like porcelain dolls, just staring at me.”

“Cyrus, if you could move past the petrifying porcelain parents, I’d appreciate that,” TJ joked gently, smiling through his phone.

“Right. So I sat down at the head of the table, on the opposite end from them, and they just watched me eat for like a solid five minutes. And then finally my dad said something. But that was even worse because he flat out asked me if I have a girlfriend. I got flustered and didn’t say anything, so they assumed that was a yes.”

“Okay, but at this point couldn’t you still clarify that you don’t have a girlfriend, right? Not to mention the fact that I’m a guy?”

“Oh it gets worse. They started going through a list of every girl they’d ever seen or heard me interact with, and when I said no to all of them, they decided that then would be a good time to clarify whether or not I actually have a girlfriend. I said no, and they asked who I spend all of my time texting. At this point I was wildly uncomfortable and wanted to leave as soon as possible, so I told the truth, and told them I was texting you. Then, they asked if you were my boyfriend and I kinda had a moment of gay panic and said yes.”

“I see. But why can’t you tell them the truth now?” TJ asked, trying desperately to make sense of Cyrus’s story.

“Because I am still digging myself into this hole. They invited you to this party they’re throwing, and I said that you’d come,” Cyrus confessed.“And I also made up a whole backstory for our relationship, to avoid telling them I lied.”

“Ah okay. So, what’s the backstory?” TJ asked, sitting up further, and moving backwards to sit against the wall behind his bed.

“It’s nothing special, it’s basically just our actual backstory, except you won the one-on-one with Buffy and when I congratulated you, you kissed me. And then we went on our first date that Friday. Which makes our anniversary the 28th of the month.”

“That’s fair. I swear I just had a question to ask- Oh! When’s the party I’m going to? And what should I wear?” TJ asked, counting questions on his fingers.

“Okay I kind of underexaggerated there,” Cyrus confided. “It’s not a party, per se. It’s kind of a charity ball? It’s also very very soon. Tomorrow night at 6, in the ballroom at Hancher Hall. Formal attire.”

“The things I do for you, Underdog. I’ll ask Amber to help me find a suit, Lord knows I have no sense of style.”

“Thank you thank you thank you!” he exclaimed, and TJ was sure Cyrus could have jumped through the screen to hug him if he tried hard enough.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Underdog,” TJ said fondly, hanging up the call.

TJ took a deep breath, standing outside Hancher Hall. He was wearing a dark green button down that brought out his eyes, a black suit jacket, and black pants. He’d lost his contacts that morning, so he was resorting to wearing his glasses. He finally stepped into the hall, and into the ballroom.

“TJ!” he heard a voice call from his left. TJ looked around, and his eyes settled on Cyrus and his parents.

TJ walked over to Cyrus and, remembering the role he was supposed to be playing, kissed him on the forehead in greeting, an arm wrapped around Cyrus’s waist.

“Hey, Underdog. You look great,” TJ said in reference to Cyrus’s dark blue suit, white button down, and black bowtie.

“Thank you! So do you, I’ve never seen you in a suit. It- well I was going to say it suits you but I am now seeing the fault in that particular phrasing. The point is, you look good in a suit, TJ. I like the green, it brings out your eyes.”

“Thanks, Underdog. Amber thought the green would be a good idea. She was right, as always,” TJ chuckled. “Oh God, don’t tell her I said that though. She’ll never let me forget it.”

“I won’t tell, I promise,” Cyrus held his hands up in surrender. “I’ll spare you from her wra-”

“Cyrus, are you going to introduce us to your boyfriend or not?” they were interrupted by Cyrus’s step-father, Todd, stepping forward to nudge his step-son, a glass of champagne in one hand.

“Oh! Yes,” Cyrus turned around to face all four of his parents, taking TJ’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “Mom, Dad. Step-mom, Step-dad. This is my boyfriend, TJ Kippen.”

“Hi, it’s great to finally meet you,” TJ smiled politely, extending the hand that wasn’t holding Cyrus’s to shake all four of their hands.

“How long have you been together?” Cyrus’s step-mom Sharon asked, shaking TJ’s hand with a smile.

“It’ll be four months on Tuesday, right TJ?” Cyrus interjected, realizing that TJ probably didn’t actually know that.

“Cyrus! Tuesday is the 27th, not the 28th, it’ll be four months on Wednesday,” Cyrus looked at him, astounded that he’d remembered. 

“Oh, you’re right! I could have sworn that today was the 26th. I’m sorry!” 

“Don’t worry about it, love,” TJ added the pet name at the last second. Cyrus’s phone started ringing at that moment, and he checked the screen.

“I’m sorry, this is Buffy. I’ll be right back,” Cyrus excused himself from the conversation, squeezing TJ’s hand as he left. TJ watched Cyrus step out of the ballroom, standing just in his line of sight as he held his phone to his ear, before turning back to the younger boy’s parents.

“So, do you play any sports, TJ?” Todd asked.

“Oh, yes. I’m the captain of the boys’ basketball team,” TJ stated, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do you intend to break my son’s heart?” Cyrus’s father asked, unaware of the fact that Cyrus had hung up the phone and was now within ear shot. TJ took a moment to recover from the initial shock of the moment, considering what to say.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Cyrus, having heard his response, wrapped his arms around TJ’s waist, rising onto his toes to rest his chin on TJ’s shoulder. “Ah! Why hello there, Underdog.”

“Hi,” he whispered. “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?” TJ turned around, concerned.

“Oh, yeah! Everything’s fine, I just wanted to talk to you?” TJ nodded, allowing Cyrus to lead him out of the ballroom, weaving through silk, satin, and velvet skirts.

“So, are you sure everything’s alright?” TJ asked when they got outside the room.

“Yeah, I just- Um. I have something to tell you,” TJ gave him an inquiring look, urging him to keep going. “So, um… I just. I don’t want to pretend we’re in a relationship anymore.”

“You don’t? Do you want me to pretend to break up with you? Or the other way around? Why?”

“No, TJ. It’s not like that. I just- I want to actually be with you, TJ. I don’t want this to just be for tonight. I want this to be real, TJ,” TJ was stunned into silence. “And I get it if you don’t want this, or if you don’t even want to be friends anymore, but I had to tell-”

“Cyrus! I’ve been flirting with you for literal weeks. I don’t want this to be fake either.”

“Really? Because you don’t have to-” Cyrus was cut off by TJ leaning down to kiss him. Cyrus wrapped his arms around TJ’s neck, standing on his toes to be closer to the other.

“Are you gonna break my heart, TJ?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

#tyrus #andi mack #cyrus goodman #tj kippen

[anitabyars]

Title: A Perfect Lie

Author: Lisa Renee Jones

Release Date: May 14, 2019

ABOUT A PERFECT LIE

Secrets. Lies. A man. There's always a man. And there's always a truth to be told.

I'm Hailey Anne Monroe. I’m twenty-eight years old. An artist, who found her muse on the canvas because I wasn’t allowed to have friends or even keep a journal. And yes, if you haven’t guessed by now, I’m that Hailey Anne Monroe, daughter to Thomas Frank Monroe, the man who was a half-percentage point from becoming President of the United States. If you were able to ask him, he’d probably tell you that I was the half point. But you can’t ask him, and he can’t tell you. He’s dead. They’re all dead and now I can speak.

BUY A PERFECT LIE

Amazon US → https://amzn.to/2PUIGLj

Amazon UK → https://amzn.to/2PUBNtq

Amazon CA → https://amzn.to/2PRbsMI

Audible → https://adbl.co/2TJMTb1

iBooks → https://apple.co/2p09PB4

Nook → http://bit.ly/2MrIqB5

Kobo → http://bit.ly/2NCgK18

EXCERPT

“Can I join you?” he asks, motioning to the table.

There’s interest in his eyes, the kind a man has for a woman, but who knows, maybe it’s real or maybe it’s not real. Maybe he knows who I am and sees a path to power and fame. The way Tobey wanted me for money and power, right up until the moment I’d called his number aka his agenda; thus, he has not called me since I left. Maybe Harvard will lie even better than Tobey did. Maybe Harvard will at least kiss better than he did, and the lies would taste like temptation rather than convenience. At least then, if I’m used, I’ll enjoy being used.

Whatever the case, it’s clear I might actually be angry with Tobey and that aside, the interest that Harvard has shown in me, must be controlled before my Denver sanctuary is destroyed. “You can join me,” I say, “but only because I’m trying to save the rest of the place from the attorney in the house.”

I am pleased when Harvard laughs, where Tobey would have scowled, proving that Harvard has a sense of humor, which is rare for those in my life. I’ve barely completed this thought when he moves forward and claims the seat next to me, not across from me, settling his briefcase on that chair instead. In the process, his leg brushes my leg and for the briefest of moments, I’m transported back to the place that I’m now trying to forget: to Austin, to Drew’s leg next to mine, his wink, and I do now what I did then. I jerk back. If Harvard notices he doesn’t react. “Since we haven’t been formally introduced,” he says, resting his naked hands on the table. “I’m Logan. Logan Casey.”

“Logan Casey,” I repeat trying to ground myself in the present, at least for now, but some part of me is still swimming in that memory, which naturally has me wondering if this man is a shark in the water around me. “Two first names,” I add. “Sounds like your parents fought over who got to pick your first name. Did they draw straws for which choice became your middle name?”

“You’re actually right on target,” he says, laughing again, and it’s a nice, masculine laugh, and oddly this thought feels familiar while Logan does not. “No one has ever guessed that,” he adds. “My mother won the name war. The women always win. Speaking of names. Do you have one?”

“Hailey Anne Pitt,” I say, “and in my house, my father won the name war.” Because in my father’s world, I add silently, the women don’t win the wars. At least, not that he knows, not in an obvious way. I’ve learned this well.

“Well then, Hailey Anne Pitt,” he says, “what’s a Stanford girl like you, doing in a place like this? You’re a long way from school.”

I’m smacked in the face with a lesson I’ve long ago learned and forgotten with this man; strangers do not always remain strangers and all offhanded remarks can come back to haunt you. “That was a joke,” I say, shutting the door connected to my real life, and a path that leads to my father. “I hate attorneys, remember?”

He narrows his eyes on me, and for no reason other than instinct, I believe he’s looking for a lie that he won’t find. I’m simply too well-taught from birth, too skilled at being more than one person to allow such a detection. Well that, and the fact that I really do hate attorneys, which is why I’ll be a good one.

“That was a joke?” he confirms.

“Yes,” I say. “Are you amused?”

“Yes, actually. I am. What does a lawyer-hating smart ass like yourself do for a living?”

“When not busy taunting those who went to law school,” I say. “I’m an aspiring artist.” Both honest answers, if you put a “was” in front of the “aspiring artist” which I’d thought that I’d come to terms with, but the knot in my stomach says I have not.

Logan motions toward the art room. “Your career explains why you ended up here.”

“I guess it does,” I say, as this place serves me well to reconnecting to the Pitt part of my life, which is a place I really need to be right now, for all kinds of reasons.

“Are you good?” Logan asks, as if he’s read my mind.

My father’s words answer him in my head. Art is useless unless you’re famous, he used to say often, because of course, it was inconceivable that I might be good enough to be famous. “Art is like movies and food,” I say, shoving aside that bad memory. “Good is subjective.” I don’t give him time to reply. I ping the conversation back toward him. “What kind of law do you practice?”

“Corporate,” he says, and this time he pings back to me. “Do you live in the neighborhood?”

“Yes,” I say simply. “Do you?”

“I bought a building a few years ago where I live and work which means this is my home turf, and why I know you’re new here.”

“I am,” I say and since he’s clearly going to ask for details, I quickly preempt with an on-the-fly story. Actually, it’s the suggested story, Rudolf included in my file. “I came here for a job, and my new boss owns a house he’s rented to me for dirt cheap.”

“And what does an artist do but create art for a living?”

“I’m working for a private art acquisitions firm. I now hunt for treasures for a living.” This lie is actually my dream job that I’ve never been allowed to entertain.

The horror flick loving waitress delivers my coffee and brownie. “Thank you,” I say, because every politician’s daughter has manners beaten into her.

“No problem,” she says, “but if you come to your senses and want a better version of that coffee, just shout.” She eyes Logan. “I already know you want a crappy tasting coffee, on endless pour and a chocolate chip cookie. Coming right up.”

“Thanks, Megan,” he says, giving her a wink that I don’t classify as flirtatious, just friendly, and Megan is gone.

“Obviously you’re a regular,” I comment, “and they even like you.”

“And they like me,” he confirms, “despite knowing I’m an attorney.

“Because you’re good looking and use it to your advantage.”

He arches a brow. “You think I’m good looking, do you?”

“Oh, come on,” I say, crinkling my nose. “Everyone thinks you’re good looking. I’m simply stating a fact. We use what we have and those of us that are smart, know what we have.” I move on from what is really quite inconsequential. “Why work here, not at home, or in the office?”

“I find I get a lot of work done with a cookie, coffee, and no access to streaming television,” he explains.

No one in my D.C. crowd would make an admission of being human and distractible. Some people in my situation might take comfort in that fact, but I don’t. Logan’s an attorney, and my gut, which I’ll confirm with research, says he’s a powerful one, the kind that radiates toward my father. Maybe that’s a coincidence and maybe it’s not. Maybe he’s testing how well I execute my cover story. The possibilities are many. Though in all fairness to Logan, perhaps I’d lean toward his innocence, if not for the laundry list of recent events such as Tobey being gay and the FBI agent, who is likely working for my father, that I slept with to prove I was a) still desirable and b) not a killer.

ABOUT LISA

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Lisa Renee Jones is the author of the highly acclaimed INSIDE OUT series.

In addition to the success of Lisa's INSIDE OUT series, she has published many successful titles. The TALL, DARK AND DEADLY series and THE SECRET LIFE OF AMY BENSEN series, both spent several months on a combination of the New York Times and USA Today bestselling lists. Lisa is also the author of the bestselling WHITE LIES and LILAH LOVE series.

Prior to publishing Lisa owned multi-state staffing agency that was recognized many times by The Austin Business Journal and also praised by the Dallas Women's Magazine. In 1998 Lisa was listed as the #7 growing women owned business in Entrepreneur Magazine.

CONNECT WITH LISA

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Twitter ➜ https://twitter.com/LisaReneeJones

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My Review!

5 ⭐️

Riveting!!!

Wow! This is a riveting, suspenseful, mystery that is about greed, destiny, betrayal, secrets, lies, power, money and ambition. It’s about what some powerful people may do to get ahead. But is also the story of a young woman Hailey Anne Monroe whose father has political aspirations to become the President. A father who appears to be disdainful of rules, of laws and of ethics. Raised from infancy to be the perfect daughter, Hailey tells us her story, as she searches for answers, and finds out what she is truly made of. Written in past and present tense it takes you on her journey of what she says is the truth. But is it? Or could it be the perfect lie?

This story took me on a wild ride, making me question every single character and situation the whole way through. There were little hints along the way that built this story, so many little things that started to tick off this list of what was real and who was behind all of this. I spent most of the chapters mentally keeping track of all the big and small clues. My mind constantly racing trying to figure out where this was all leading next. Because we have learned that in politics and life that lies can and are avoided by the many versions of the truth.

Lisa Renee Jones did a phenomenal job crafting this story, and I was held captive until the end. I loved its fast pace and unexpected turns. So clear your schedule. Bring a snack. This will keep you reading late into the night. I couldn’t put it down. I highly recommend this story.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

#lisa renee jones #the perfectlie #riveting narrative

[boku-no-meme-academia]

I saw you vague posting about k uri k uri on twitter and was wondering what exactly they did???

is it vagueposting if i explicitly stated her name...?IM GLAD U ASKED. ANON. BC IM STILL MAD ABOUT IT Hok like so,,,,twitter about 8 months ago???? actually maybe 9-10 months ago...it was whenever i was in the middle of writing my fake marriage fic, we got alongish??? like she commented on my fics and stuffwell obviously one of the things in my fic is homophobia, and in the fic it was mentioned along the lines that lgbt stuff isnt..u know, like the same it is in the U.S? im not saying the U.S is gay paradise--far from it--but the U.S recognizes gay ppl and shit like that and japan doesn't. theyre not as open about that stuff. thats a fact. anyways she took issue w that and i was like ok ok cool cool its a difference of opinion i guessthen another issue with an author popped up where they headcanoned mic as half-american, and she took issue with that and said smth like, ppl who are half-white are "whitewashed" versions of their other ethnicity, and i, as a half-white half-mexican kid, took issue with THAT, but it ended kind of peacefully u know. we kinda just stopped talking to each other. didn't interact.and then weeks or months later i dont remember, she started a thread about plagiarism. keep in mind this was when there were, say, 300 fics in the erasermic tag, and she wrote a good portion of them. she said something along the lines that obviously, since she is so big and so very popular, lots of people have unconciously copied her works, since she is the erasermic god and fics with even remotely the same headcanon as hers are Obviously Plagiarizing. she posted a screenshot straight from my fic and was like "see this author was obviously influenced by me and unknowingly plagiarized me right here"look. thats an understandable Author Worry(tm) if someone is actually copying u. but here's the thing. the lines kuri compared werent even similar. the only thing they had in common was the same headcanon, the same idea. u want to know the very rare, uncommon headcanon that was patented by kuri and can only be used by her? that mic is more affectionate than aizawa. sorry guys. everyone who has that headcanon has been plagiarizing her :(ANYWAYS when that happened ppl got mad. my friends, and the folks in the Discord(tm). but i...never really got to be mad about it, i feel. it feels like my friend deandre had all the anger, and he and dave both went off on her, and yeah i was the one who initially brought it up but i never got to be angry about it the same way everyone else did. i had -10 followers and she had 500 and i felt like if i actually got upset about it all 500 would come after me.so ive always been kind of upset about it but then she was brought up again today and it ignited the Rage(tm) and recently i havent been caring about reeling my anger in when people are being shit. im being Angry now. anger is fueling me today. it is the cause behind my actions. i won one(1) game of dodgeball today. it was great.now all that aside, if any one of u--any 11,800 of u--goes after her im blocking the SHIT out of u lmao. dont Do That. this is just me venting.

[jeontaeh]

〚THIRTY FIVE〛

Taehyung sat in the back of the classroom, idle chatter from his classmates like white noise in the background. He didn't feel like waking up that particular morning- wishes he could stay in bed all day. But school was a necessity, for some fucking reason, so now he was here.

"Sehun! Sehun!!! Sehunnie-" A voice came, and Taehyung gripped his pen tighter. Jungkook was calling for the black haired boy, who was talking to Jimin. Just pay attention to him, dumbass- Taehyung thought and saw Sehun walk up to Jungkook.

"What's up, baby?" Sehun asked, cupping Jungkook's face. Jungkook smiled up at him and leaned up to press their lips up for a second. Taehyung's breath hitched and he looked down at the assignment.

Jungkook pulled away and then pointed at the sheet on his desk. "I finished the assignment. Let's check answers?" Jungkook asked, and Sehun sat down beside him, grinning. "Yeah!" Sehun said energetically and then looked at his paper.

"Woah, you've got everything right. Me too!" Sehun said, and Jungkook smiled at his enthusiasm.

"Jungkook how's your art piece coming along?" Eka asked, sitting on her table. Jungkook looked at her. "Good! I'm deciding to do a renaissance inspired gay painting," Jungkook said, and Eka laughed. Taehyung felt his insides bloom at that. Jungkook got so happy doing art, it made Taehyung happy.

"How interesting! I used to do art too!" Sehun said, smiling at Jungkook. "I won the London Art Fair last year. Got an award and everything. I couldn't continue with art here, though." Sehun said pouting a little.

"Really? You did art? That's awesome!" Jungkook said, and then tilted his head. "You probably haven't heard of this guy, Stanislav Aristov? My new piece is inspired by his-"

"Oh my god I love him! Did you see his work on the New York exhibition? King!" Sehun said, and Jungkook gasped, giggling. Both continued talking about their favorite artists, favorite subjects, and all the rest. They had everything in common, it seemed.

Taehyung looked at the back of Jungkook's head, trying not to get upset over it. He had to try to be happy at least for today. Today was the worst day of all. One, tonight he had his first match where he wouldn't be captain. Two, the maths teacher said she wanted to speak to him- which can never be good.

And lastly, today was the anniversary of Taehyung's mother's death. He didn't like thinking about it.

Taehyung just took his earphones out of his bag and put them into his ear, turning his phone on to put some random music on. While he had no music playing, he heard some voices on his side.

"Yeah, no- I'd never date a guy like V."

"Me neither. I mean, he's hot or whatever, but he's such a dick!"

"Yeah. Plus, my mom told me to never date a guy who bullies people." Another girl said softly and then looked to make sure Taehyung wasn't listening and looked back at her friends. "V's probably going to be the type to hit his girlfriend when he gets mad or something,"

Taehyung's breath hitched, and he fumbled to put on some music so he could stop hearing those words. Did- did everyone think that?

Did Jungkook think that?

Taehyung felt the earphones get pulled out of his ear. "No phones in class, V. I'm giving you guys a relaxed lesson, that doesn't mean you take advantage," The teacher said, and Taehyung hummed and put his phone away. "Talk to me after class." The math teacher said, and Taehyung nodded, putting his head on the table and trying to get sleep.

After class was over, Taehyung watched as Jungkook dragged Sehun out, excited to show him his artwork. Sehun looked excited too.

"V, look. I'm going to be blunt here because I care about your future." The teacher said, and Taehyung stood in front of her desk. She took out some papers, placing them on the wooden surface. "What's wrong??"

Taehyung saw the sheets and saw the marks on them. Terrible. C's, D's, or even lower. Taehyung gulped. "They- um- they were difficult-"

She sighed, looking up at him. "V... you were doing so well just a few months ago. I was ready to give you an A! But suddenly you're derailing again... You know you can't continue like this, right? Coach told me you're trying for sports scholarships, but those don't accept you unless you have at least a B in subjects like Maths."

Taehyung suddenly got alarmed and frowned. "They won't accept me at all?"

"No! You need to be more alert, V! Look at that new boy, Sehun! You know he does football like you, right? On top of that he does almost all of the subjects and does extracurricular work, and he's been doing all the extra assignments I give him and scoring hundred on them-"

"Okay, I get it." Taehyung irked, feeling tense. "I-I get it. I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time." Taehyung said, and then turned around and walked out of the classroom.

Taehyung sighed to himself, closing his eyes for a few seconds. He couldn't lose this sports scholarship. It was the only way he could get away from his father earliest. He wouldn't want his father's money- wouldn't need that scumbag's money.

Taehyung knew it was lunch, but he couldn't go into the lunch room- all his friends would give him dirty looks. Taehyung decided it best to just go back to his dorms, that way he wouldn't have to feel the guilt he always felt when he looked at Jungkook. Taehyung began walking, but then saw the Coach.

"V! Ready for later today?" Coach asked, grinning. Taehyung nodded somberly. Coach looked at him for a few seconds and then sighed.

"What's wrong?" Coach asked, and Taehyung's breath hitched. "Ms. Yang told me that- that I might lose some of my sports scholarships if I don't up my grade in maths. I thought Seoul University only cared about track record, not grades and stuff?" Taehyung asked. The coach stilled.

"Yes, well... um, the thing is..." Coach trailed, and then gulped. "I think you should forget about Seoul University, kid."

"Why? That's- that's my dream college, coach. The sports facilities there are amazing, they-" Taehyung went on, and Coach sighed.

"Honestly, kid- I don't think they'll take you." The coach said, and Taehyung froze. "They'd probably take someone like Sehun, though."

Taehyung felt himself frozen, looking at the coach. "What- um- w-what about the other universities I told you about? Those big league ones? Like- like the o-one in Daegu, o-or-" Taehyung stammered.

"Taehyung," Coach said softly, and Taehyung looked up at him, eyes glistening. "I'm sorry, kid. I don't make these sort of decisions. It's not just your grades- you're not the captain anymore, so that-"

"B-but- I w-worked so hard for those colleges! I wake up early every day, even in the freezing cold, coach- to- to go to the field and- and practice! Sehun doesn't give a shit about any of that! He just- he's just doing it for college-" Taehyung stammered, feeling his skin grow warmer, knowing tears were creeping to his eyes.

"Don't get angry, V. There's a lot of other schools, you know. Look, I have to go. Don't stress about this thing. Be ready for tonight, yeah?" The coach said, patting his shoulder, and then walking off.

Taehyung cursed out loud, leaning against the wall. He bit his thumbnail- trying to keep his tears in. He sucked them back in and then gulped. He wishes he could talk about this with someone, anyone- but everyone just gave him dirty looks or didn't want to be around him.

Taehyung felt like he was going to throw up. He walked rather quickly towards an empty classroom to be alone- but when he opened it, he saw Sehun and Jungkook. Jungkook on the table, legs wrapped around Sehun, kissing him firmly- while Sehun grabbed his ass.

Both broke away when the door opened and looked with wide eyes. Sehun let out a breathless sigh of relief. "Oh, V. It's you. I thought it was a teacher or some-"

Jungkook looked annoyed. "Sorry," Taehyung mumbled and then turned around to walk away, feeling his insides crumbling. Taehyung tried walking away and then heard the door open and footsteps follow it.

"What the fuck is your problem?" A loud voice came, and Taehyung turned around and saw Jungkook, eyebrows furrowed. "I'm getting a little frustrated with you showing up everywhere! You keep looking at me in classes, looking at me in the hallways, showing up unannounced to my dorm- what're you trying to do?"

"N-nothing- nothing, Jungkook, I swear. I just wanted to talk things out-"

Jungkook let out a humorless laugh. "What?"

Taehyung nodded, looking at the floor. "I-I promise. I just wanted to talk to you about everything. There's just a lot going on at the moment, and-"

"Tae," Jungkook said softly, walking up to him. Taehyung looked at the brown haired boy and his breath hitched, but then saw Jungkook's eyes full of anger. "What in the fucking world makes you think I want to talk to you?"

Taehyung froze. "You punched me in the fucking stomach and called me a faggot!" Jungkook shouted, and Taehyung looked away, not wanting to look into his eyes. "What the fuck makes you think I want anything to do with you?"

"I'm sorry. I j-just- I just wanted to a-apologise. I don't have- have anything right now, Kook-"

"Good. That's what you deserve, you fucking asshole." Jungkook took a step away from him. "And I swear to fucking god, V- stay away from me," Jungkook growled and then turned around to walk back into the classroom.

Taehyung stood there for a while, the lump heavy in his throat. Don't cry don't cry don't cry- Taehyung thought, taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes, getting flashes.

Flashes of hospital rooms, a beeping flat line, his cries. Flashes of Jungkook, of when Taehyung punched him, made him cry, called him a faggot-

Taehyung kept it in. He just walked to a janitor's closet, closing his eyes and listening to the loud noise of kids talking and laughing coming from outside.

///

"How come we aren't kicking Sehun out of the changing room for being gay?" A voice whispered to another in the locker room.

"'Cause I'm not into any of you gross fucks!" Sehun said loudly, and Jimin burst out laughing. "You're all tops anyway," Sehun mumbled, and then there was a snicker.

"I knew Jeon took it up the ass. Looks it." Jaebum said.

Taehyung wanted to tell Jaebum to shut up- but then; "God, shut up JB. I don't know you that well, man, but I can just tell your dick is small." Sehun said.

Everyone started laughing, and Jaebum scoffed. Taehyung picked up his water bottle and headed for the exit of the door. He walked out and then saw the cheerleaders all on the field- along with all the students sitting on the bleachers. The other team was warming up on the field.

Taehyung was looking at how the other team was playing, and then bumping into someone. Taehyung saw he bumped into Jennie, and gulped, seeing her stumble back in surprise. "Sorry," Taehyung tried, reaching out for her shoulder. "Are you alr-"

"Don't fucking touch me, you creep!" Jennie snapped, and then pushed Taehyung away and ran away towards the girl's changing room. Taehyung frowned.

"Jeez V, can you stop being an asshole for one goddamn day?" Eka said from the field, and the other cheerleaders giggled. Taehyung ignored them, walking past the cheerleaders and onto the field.

Taehyung felt his phone ding and realized he still had it in his pocket. Taehyung took it out and saw a message from his father.

Today was your mother's memorial. I emailed the school asking for you to take a leave. Why didn't you come??

Taehyung sighed, texting back. I had a match today. And I rather not be at home. I visited her grave last week.

The message from his father came quickly. You're ungrateful. I've explained to your aunts that you don't care about your mother. Keep living like this, Taehyung. You're ruining your own life. Your mother would be so disappointed.

"Get off your phone, V. We have a match starting soon," Sehun's voice came, and Taehyung looked at the message his father sent and then closed the phone, placing it onto a bench.

"Okay so- Youngjae, midfield. Hoseok, goalkeeper. Yugyeom, striker. V, midfield-" Sehun read off a list.

"I don't play mid," Taehyung said- the team on the side while the cheerleaders did a routine on the side.

"I know." Sehun smiled. "But you will for today. I'm playing striker." Sehun said, giving his shoulder a pat and then walking away.

Taehyung frowned. He looked at the coach and saw him walking up to the field. Taehyung was about to ask what's going on but then saw the coach smile. "There's the star player!" Coach laughed, pushing Taehyung slightly while walking past him and to Sehun. "Are we all ready?"

"Yessir! We're going to win, too!" Sehun grinned, and Taehyung felt his insides hurting like it did all day, but ignored it, trying to be mature about it. It wasn't a big deal. Sehun was good too, Taehyung had to accept that.

"Sehun's a good guy," Yoongi said, and Taehyung looked at him. "He talked to me for ages the other day. And, y'know what! I don't think I hate gay people anymore!"

"Good for you," Taehyung said. "But I think you should apologize to Jungkook too. You guys were kind of mean to him-"

"What do you know, V? No offense- I mean, yeah, we were mean- but you kind of beat him up and called him a fag. That's way worse." Namjoon said.

"Yeah man. That wasn't cool. Even if you aren't cool with the gay stuff- it's not excuse to beat him up. He used to be close friends with you. And now he doesn't even look at you anymore," Hoseok chuckled, and Taehyung stilled.

Taehyung looked to the side, and saw Jungkook, wearing his old jersey with tights, holding pompoms in the air. "Go Sehunnie!" He said, jumping up and down.

"Aww," Jackson said. "Sehun, look at your boyfriend," Jackson said, turning Sehun to face Jungkook. Sehun smiled.

Jungkook was at the bleachers, and he began waving his arms wildly when he saw Sehun looking. Sehun blew a kiss, so Jungkook started giggling. Taehyung looked at him, but then Jungkook saw Taehyung and stopped giggling. Taehyung looked away.

The game began.

Taehyung felt out of place in the middle. He liked being near the goal, liked sizing the other goalie up, liked letting everyone know his place. He liked having the control over the ending tie-up- because he always kicked the ball in.

Taehyung finally got a kick from Youngjae and then dribbled the ball past defenders. He heard cheers from the people on the bleachers and smiled to himself. This was what he liked about football. The rush, the adrenaline. Taehyung saw Yugyeom open and was about to kick it to him, but then-

"Come on Sehun!!" Jungkook's voice stood out from all the others, and Taehyung felt himself stumble.

The ball left his control. He heard the crowd groan over it, the cheerleaders from the other team rejoicing over them being in the lead. Taehyung let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"What the fuck, man?" Jaebum snapped at him, and Taehyung gulped. "Sorry," Taehyung said, and then saw his teammates looking disappointed.

The game went on like this. Taehyung stumbling or losing the ball or just passing to the wrong person. His mind was too cluttered, chest too heavy for him to play normally. When midtime came, he felt himself get yanked to the side.

"V- I'm going to bench you if you continue like this," Coach snapped, and then shook him by the shoulders. "What's wrong with you? You're one of the best players! You can't screw up like this,"

"I know, sorry," Taehyung said in a small voice. Usually, he got really angry when he messed up- which wasn't often. Every time he did, he'd make sure the next play was so fucking legendary that people started clapping.

Now he just felt like a fuck up.

"Hey- um- maybe you should sit out?" Sehun said, and Taehyung looked at him. Everyone in the team saw the look on Taehyung's face and took a step back.

"Sehun you shouldn't have said that," Mark whispered to him, and Sehun was a little confused. Taehyung looked at him, his loose hair hiding the look on his eyes.

"No I mean- just because you-you don't look too good today," Sehun said, and Taehyung stood completely still. The other team members looked terrified, shaking in their studs for Taehyung's response. "It's nothing personal, bro. Plus, that way Bambam could play since he's been sitting out-"

"What the fuck!" Bambam hissed, widening his eyes. "Don't bring me into this! Now he's going to beat me up- ugh," Bambam groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

Taehyung looked at him for a few seconds. "I-" Taehyung began and then gulped. Don't cry. "I can play," Taehyung said, and then looked at Bambam, whose eyes were wide in fear.

"Sorry," Taehyung said softly, and everyone was surprise by Taehyung's sudden change. It's like he was... becoming a rational mature human being.

"Great! Let's do this, man!" Sehun said, patting Taehyung's upper back and then rushing off to the field. He was so full of energy. Taehyung gulped.

Never ever had anyone even thought about making Taehyung sit out before. This meant Taehyung was fucking up. Badly.

The second half of the game began, and this time, Taehyung kept his focus just on the game and nothing else. Ignored the anxiety, ignored his thoughts about Jungkook, about his friends, about his father, about his mother- and just focused on the ball in front of him.

They won.

With 3 minutes to spare, and both teams in a tie, Taehyung said fuck it and then took the ball and dribbled it across the field, fast like a cheetah, eyes dark and veins pumping, and then kicked the ball into the goal with vigor- and saw it shoot inside, surprising the goalkeeper and everyone else.

Everyone erupted into cheers. "Go V!!" Rose squealed.

"Shush!! We hate him, remember?" Lisa whispered. Rose widened her eyes and nodded, whispering sorry back.

The cheerleaders started doing some dance, and Taehyung turned around to look at his teammates, but then paused when he saw all of them cheering around Sehun.

Taehyung wiped the sweat off his forehead, walking over to them. "V!" Youngjae said with a grin. "You were so good!"

"Thanks," Taehyung smiled and heard more compliments from Hoseok and Yoongi. Taehyung was about to walk away but then heard a laugh.

"Sehun-" A voice came, and Taehyung turned and saw Jungkook, rushing over to him. "Good job, babe!" Jungkook said. Taehyung's breath hitched when he saw Sehun pick him effortlessly from under his thighs and press their lips together.

Taehyung froze. Everyone started ohh'ing. Jimin said something about how they ended homophobia. His teammates were all clapping and dancing around like jackasses, looking overly happy at the victory.

Taehyung watched as Sehun looked up at Jungkook, and Jungkook cupped his face and smiled at him, eyes dazzling. Jungkook whispered something to him, and Sehun blushed lightly and nudged their noses together.

Jungkook looked so happy.

Taehyung turned around quickly, feeling that rising anxiousness in his chest he'd been feeling for the past week. Taehyung grabbed his water bottle and bag off the bench, walking off.

"Aren't you going to celebrate, V?" A voice came from the distance, Taehyung not knowing who.

"Shut up, dude. Let him go. He'd ruin it anyway."

Taehyung walked quickly, feeling the vision in front of him hazing, blurring. His heartbeat fastened, stomach making turns, breath going shaky, faster- don't cry, don't cry, don't cry-

He heard some voices behind him. There were a group of people behind him, he didn't know who, but they were probably also making their way back to the dorms. "That's bad sportsmanship, V." One of them said, and they burst into laughs.

Ungrateful. Don't care about your mother. Taehyung felt tears rising in his eyes as he kept walking, biting his lip.

I swear to fucking god, V. Stay away from me. Taehyung felt his hands shaking, so he gripped his waterbottle tighter, bile rising in his throat, the lump growing further and further up-

V, I never told you- Sehun's my boyfriend. Taehyung felt his mouth go dry, gritting his teeth so fucking tightly- don't cry, don't cry, don't fucking cry-

"V? You alright?" A voice came, Jimin, a hand being placed on his shoulder. Taehyung, getting alarmed, turned around and smacked Jimin's hand off. Jimin stumbled back, eyes wide.

"I told you not to go up to him, Jimin! He's a fucking asshole, is what he is." A girl's voice came loud and clear, and Taehyung saw Jimin's vision in front of him blurring. Your mother would be so disappointed.

"S-sorry," Taehyung let out pathetically, everything from today building up into one moment, one moment being right now- he just couldn't take it.

"V are you okay?" Jimin asked, taking a step towards him. Taehyung bit his lip for a second, and then heard the group laugh from afar, and then looked away.

"I-I'm f-fine-" Taehyung tried, but Jimin frowned. "Jimin, just come back here! He'll just hit you again-" A voice came, and Taehyung dug his fingers into his palm.

He broke down. He just couldn't. Couldn't keep it pent up inside anymore. Jimin froze when he saw Taehyung clasp a hand over his mouth, tear beginning to fall down his eyes.

"O-oh-" Jimin let out, eyes going big. "Oh god- V? Hey, hey what's-"

Taehyung turned around. You're such a fucking pussy, Taehyung felt the tears rush down his face, no way of stopping them. He didn't know what to do, but it was as if he'd lost control of his own self. He couldn't stop his tears from falling, couldn't move his trembling body. He felt stuck.

"Taehyung-" A voice came, and Taehyung dragged his fingernails down his face, trying to stop crying, trying to move, loud sobs leaving his lips- "Taehyung don't do that-"

Taehyung felt his hand get pulled off, and then stopped in the middle of his cried when he saw Jungkook.

"J-Jungkook-" Taehyung let out weakly, and Jungkook reached forward, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Hey, i-it's okay," Jungkook whispered into his ear, and Taehyung wrapped his arms around his waist tightly, getting to hold him, getting to feel his warmth against his. "It's okay. You're okay." Jungkook whispered.

Taehyung felt saved, letting his face fall into the crevice of Jungkook's neck, fitting together like a puzzle, and cried out. "You can cry, Taehyungie. You can." Jungkook said softly, and Taehyung felt the soft touch of Jungkook's cheek against his.

"Fuck." Eka let out, frowning. Her, Sehun, Jennie, and Jimin stood there, not knowing what to do. "Is- is he okay? I didn't think he'd start crying..." Eka stammered.

"It's fine. Come on guys, let's just go," Jimin said quickly, and the girls nodded. Sehun was stood still, frowning.

"What?" Sehun let out faintly, looking at Jungkook and Taehyung. Jimin gulped.

"Don't- don't worry about it. It's just- it's fine. Let's go." Jimin said, taking Sehun's arm and pulling him away, while Sehun couldn't stop looking confused and a little annoyed.

Meanwhile, Taehyung felt like he was dreaming- but he still couldn't stop his crying, even though Jungkook whispered words into his ear and stroked his hair. He didn't know why Jungkook was hugging him, but he needed it so fucking much right now.

Taehyung tightened his grip on the boy's waist, sniffling into his neck. "You're okay. You're good, it's fine. Don't worry. I'm here now," The last words for dainty, leaving a flicker of light in the darkness Taehyung felt.

Taehyung hugged him tightly, weakly whimpering into his neck. "D-d-don't leave m-me. Please."

"I won't," Jungkook whispered, closing his eyes and feeling Taehyung holding him tightly, taking in his familiar scent. Jungkook opened his eyes, placing his head on Taehyung's shoulder, feeling a discomfort he'd been feeling for the past weeks as well go away. "I won't."

https://jeontaeh.tumblr.com/post/647264803290857472/thirty-six

[atomicsurvivor-isleofskye]

Ep. 3 - “ Anyone who argues with me on Hanukkah is racist CONFIRMED  “ - Rebecka

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/168517002366/tribal-immunity-3-selfie-scavenger-hunt

IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who the hell had the extra vote and why the fuck would they vote for heather? clearly, like fishbach, they have no fucking idea how to use it. oh well

I voted Jake S. I am incredibly angry cause I feel like my whole alliance was shattered. I need to talk to more players, but I don't want to seem like I'm scrambling. I do feel like Jake S and me can work together now though. I don't know, I just hope that this challenge won't send us back to tribal or I will die of shock.

Even though we won by a mile in the last tribal I still feel worried about my performance when compared to others, I don’t want to be a challenge beast but I want to pull my wait, which is why I want to impress in this challenge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1ppIUdlIWA

Why the fuck did I volunteer to do this when I have two finals coming up??  I just knew that the jakes probably wouldn't I guess. ugh. 

Well... Madison is gone. My plan went accordingly. She is livid at me though, so if she comes back from Redemption Island my game is #toast. I feel awful. I really enjoyed playing with her, and it was truly out of my hands by the time the plan took won’t. I wish she knew this, but oh well. For now, I am going to lay low and ensure there are bigger targets than me going forward. Olivia seems annoyed that I feel bad about the vote. Heather feels bad too. What a world.

I feel so tired but... back to the real game. Gotta move on with heads held high and win this challenge.

I'm glad I'm safe another day! Anyway this challenge is fun I hope I don't cause us to lose!

So I’ve talked with Tim and we’ve agreed to vote for Aundra if we go to tribal, but leak that we’re voting for August so he plays his idol.

Well it is almost four in the morning. I have just completed 2 out of 3 essays due in 12 hours. So..time for a confessional. Luke and I have our work cut out for us tomorrow. It seems at this point that the 5 of us who volunteered for this challenge are going to all participate and try, but AnnMarie and Trip may need a little more pushing. So tomorrow the three of us (Heather included) are going to be the best cheerleaders we can be (and the quarterbacks). Since Madison was the one mapping out the moors we have to try and attempt to take over her role and do the same. We also have to do some intense trust building and keep an eye on Trip. All of us want Trip gone so if we lose this challenge (knock on wood x 1,000,000) he will be the easy target. However he is elusive in his experiences with the moors so in case of an idol the five of us will have to unfortunately split the vote between AnnMarie and him, even though we want to work with her. It would be hard to should that happen, I imagine. I do not want to come off as any sort of leader or anyone calling the shots, so should we lose (the wood is broken at this point but I'm still knocking) I am going to try, with the aid of Luke, to let them propose the plan and take the helm of this one and make them think they're calling the shots. Just hoping at this point that we don't have to. I need to trust build with the Jakes, particularly Canada Jake, and with Heather. I don't think I'll be able to get her to trust me like she used to but I need for that to happen. I can feel her slipping away from me for some reason. So that's about it. On to essay three! Counting down the seconds until this semester is over and finals are done...

hello i have had 3 hours of sleep and luckily that is when i seem to think best! someone is obv gonna find where the cursed idol is (which btw i own) sooner or later so i thought i would go back there so i could find the message of what it says when you visit it after someones taken it, i then rephrased it to tim, who freaked! wooh! and now we're panicking about who has the ~second~ idol. he offered to make an alliance w stephen n i which shows hes close to stephen n trusts him, i also think he has an alliance w august bcos he originally tried to make one w him n me before august and i had beef so i need to watch out for that too. i'm glad i've gained trust from tim but unfortunately tim thinks ain has the cursed idol bcos ain mentioned going to the swamp (where the idol is) before. HOPEFULLY she can talk him out of it, n he can like blame august or something lol. that is today. from me. ps i lvoe ain. happy holidays!

So thankfully the challenge ends on Friday which means I can actually get Home to do it. Most of the videos I can’t do but I’ll try everything else. Finding loopholes in this is super fun. I was so glad Tim and Ain switched. Tim is soooo awkward. Also August is digging his own grave. Stephan is pretty great, Rebecca is always distracted with irl stuff which I don’t blame her for. I don’t even know everyone else. They’re so silent

A potential swamp idol is in play! Tara brought that to my attention that it had been found (If it is even an idol)! And we are losing our shitss. Ain doesnt have it, I dont, Tara doesn't! And here I thought i could relax since I didnt compete in immunity! Boy was I wrong!

I currently love Tara she is a great person and the only person I talk to in the game I would talk to people more but irl my life is in shambles and I don’t know if I’ll be able to to stay in the game much longer hopefully we continue to win challenges and if we do lose hopefully they won’t vote me if we do lose of course my second chance is getting ruined but we will see

Ever since Madison left, Trip has been out for blood and trying to find out who betrayed him. I feel sooo guilty about the whole situation, but its part of the game. I am trying my hardest in the challenge, but so many things are hard to find. I'll make way some how and hopefully end this losing streak we have.

So last tribal, I got a vote which is super scary and made my heart drop. I have no idea who wrote it, but I've been thinking about it and I think it is someone who was in on the Madison plan and had an extra vote, saying that there were 9 votes and not 8. First of all, my name was written in script on the parchment and only one other name was written in script and that had Madison's name on it. Then again I also suspect it wasn't anyone. I gave up an advantage because it could have interfered with the plan to get Madison out, but maybe giving up the advantage put a vote against me. I don't know, but I plan on finding out sooner rather than later.

Trip is stressing me the fuck out I can't take it. I just want to win this challenge so much, that's all.

Anyone who argues with me on Hanukkah is racist CONFIRMED

Well tribal went as planned! The 3 votes for me were from trip, Ann, and Madison, who ended up being voted out. The only issue is there are 8 people on the tribe and 9 votes being read... WHAT!?!? My hunch is someone got an extra vote. ORRRR someone on the other tribe voted for heather. Orrrr heather fucked up in the moors and automatically got a vote cast for her. Idk. But now I feel secure in my 5 person alliance and if we have to go to tribal again, trip or Ann will be leaving us.

it feels like im praying for a win here, it sucks to be on the sidelines but with how busy i am come closer to holidays it worked out, i dont wanna have a huge numbers disadvantage compared to Iolaire, outside of those thoughts, the fact the moors hasn't turned up much is kinda sad, nestle point has been worthless because i was beaten to the punch, well i guess im gonna explore the rocky area

I should have signed up but I wouldn’t have, catch my drift?

Omg I love Heather so much she actually recorded herself singing the song I did for the challenge and I literally cried. So glad we're together and I'm so glad my initial doubts proved to be false. What a sweetheart :')

Some parts of the challenge were embarrassing to do but I did it so yayyyy. I hope we win!

Btw Tara? is winning!

Well... we are on the final day for the immunity challenge. Heather, Olivia and I have been doing VERY well in it, and AnnMarie and Trip have been falling behind. I don’t blame AnnMarie because no one else was stepping forward for the last spot, so she elected to. Trip, however, signed up without telling anyone and has done the least. 

From what I have heard, Trip has also been trying to pin the strange extra vote for Heather on me. I don’t know why he would single me out (aside from the fact that this is Trump’s America and I’m a gay) but he needs to stop before I #snap. I’m hoping the tribe doesn’t get big-move-itis and wanna get me out, so I’m hoping they stick to voting Trip if we lose. 

As for gameplay, I’m still close with Olivia and I am starting to warm up to Heather. I made fun of her in a video I made for the challenge, so hopefully she takes that as bait to talk to me 1 on 1.

Hey friends thirsty?? Here’s e some tea my bff Tara found the idol but it was gone somebody already found it she told the tribe andTim messaged her saying he thinks it was Rebecca who has the idol. Now I could use info to try to get numbers because I’m on a tribe of star war geeks and on the outs so if there’s a merge I’m going to need to be solid with some people so idk what to do cause if we lose they’re probably going to vote Rebecca.

The Saorsa tribe win immunity.

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/168590740101/tribal-immunity-3-results

I cant believe we lost tbh it's probably my fault! I don't want to be voted out yikes

So I was the worse out of all of us in getting things but that’s okay. I think it’s nice that we’re finally going to tribal since I do want to get rid of some people, preferably a male. Not that I have anything against them but the numbers are uneven and it’s annoying me. Or I could leave, who knows. I think I’ve been pretty annoying. However, a lot more people are never there so who knows.

Im literally so shook. I cant believe we lost. I thin we need to vote out an inactive.

My life is already a mess and to add to it my game is about to be a mess. So Tim wants me out and Tara and I are an double pack so when he told her she told me. But she came up with this plan that I pose as a girl and work in this all girl alliance so that way we can have the votes and vote Tim. The only problem is I’m a guy and this thing could flip on me

I hope we get one of the boys out!! Currently I'm gunning for Tim but I wouldn't mind if August leaves. Hopefully Rebecka is honest and wants to join us!

So Tim and the rest of the clone wars want me out because I’n “too quite” when I haven’t had WiFi all week and Even if I wanted too talk to them all they would do is make a small fake convo then talk about the game so idgaf what they think and really hope its one of them tomorrow and not me

So I just heard my name and I'm shook!! Apparently Vi wants to vote ME out over Aundra?!!? Vi sweetie this is our first tribal its too early to get me out!

Ok so theres a bit of scrambling about whether or not we should blindside August and potentially get their idol out or whether we should vote out Aundra for tribe strength. I hope a swap is coming soon though. Also Vi wanted me out because Im a threat but i convinced Stephen into talking her out of I by telling her she's "playing too hard too fast". This first tribal is bout to get interestinggg.

So I laying down enjoying a nice Friday night when August comes at me talking code and what not and I’m sitting around trying to figure out what he’s saying and we’re speaking this secret spy language learning we both want the same person out and I just can’t wait for tribal cause this tribe is full of player and this is going to be WILD

Voting time, hopefully this is a rarity. Straight into it, tim has lead pretty much everyone I’ve talked to onto a vote for aundra. Aundra hopes to vote tim instead, which I think is impossible, but I’ll fuel that fire. Tim was talking to me, offhand I said I was talking to him and someone else and he spiked that “Who is the other person” these kind of questions are the worst. I could really do without them Also, jg and Stephen might be in a “tim is god” cult not sure yet Oh and amazingly and annoyingly infinity suggested randoming his vote.. ????

i kind of need to work on my patience. tim almost immediately mentioned aundras name as someone we could vote and it spread really quickly. aundra is someone i adore!!! so i knew i needed to fix it real quick n needed a way to rope in the votes to make sure aundra could stay. both me and ain have confused aundra for a girl in the past (sorry we love u aundra) and thought it could've been a mutual confusion for a lot of people. i thought if we used that confusion, and told rebecka that aundra was a girl, we could give the impression that the boys have an 'all boys alliance' and are targeting the girls. aundra was down to pretend to be a girl and rebecka bought our story! we were all set to vote august, as long as there were no other drama, but then stephen messaged me saying he wanted to plan a blindside on august!! um perfect?? so currently ain, me, stephen, tim, and rebecka are planning to vote august, whilst vi and aundra will split votes on tim, and i assume jg and august will probably vote aundra. if august does end up using an idol, i'm pretty sure vi and aundra can convince him and jg to flip on tim since tim straight up lied to them both. that means in a revote me, ain, vi, jg, and august will most likely be voting tim. wooh! but yeah! tim and stephen basically saved my butt and threw their own under the bus with their plan. i love!! ps ain is the best and i love her lots

Meant to do this earlier but it took ages to upload https://drive.google.com/open?id=1RO9jF4muRQ1-f8ldV4Jx4Q1HyIV-7vr6

So I’ve been thinking about risks, and how risky this blindside is, but how riskier the alternative is. Sticking with the alliance Ive made is a loyalty move, and one that could give me power and take power away from August. However there are two risks, either August plays his idol or a person flips and one of us goes, or it works, but I become a target for pulling it off. The other option isnt much better, I could go to August and work with him, but thats a traitor move and would betray people who I doubt would forgive me, and paint a target on my back that would feel very familiar. I think in the end I have to stick with loyalty, I need that reputation, and even if it all goes wrong I believe it would be Tara or Tim, or even Rebecka over me, but you never know, and it depends on which scenario plays out. This round is really intense, so many variables, I just have to hope I’ve situated myself so theres less scenarios that end with me going home. So to speak.

WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON YES YES YES YES. I am so happy!!! I'm glad that I don't have to vote anyone off. I'm also glad that I am going to see what the other tribe is like, and the cracks that they have.

So this tribe keeps getting messier by the minute first I’m the target because when aren’t I. Then we say Tim’s going. Now they want to vote August because he might have the idol (which I think he might) which isn’t really a big deal in my opinion because it’s not. He wants to work with me and I want him saved but saving him could get me Thebes boot plus Tara and him have really bad blood Soviet idk what to do because if Tim has to stay i might go off

AYYYY WE WON. I could not sumbit some stuff for the hunt sadly but I did do a lot. AnnMarie was kind of useless.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/E3Va5mec2byaCMcS2 Me before this tribal

The plan to blindside August needs to come through! We're supposedly making him feel comfy so he doesn't play his idol and vote me out! That would be devestating.

All seriousness I have no clue how tonight's gonna go.  If what everyone is saying is true then august should be going, but I know there's an alliance that Tim, Stephen, and I'm unsure who else are a part of.  I've been talking to Tara and ain and we're going with the men's vote. Im also trying to make connections with people on both sides this time (a trick I learned from Ashvika shoutout to Ashvika) and hope it doesn't get me into too much trouble!

I haven't spoken in it, but I do have a girls only chat for future voting and alliance purposes, especially after Madison being voted off. I still trust lukas, and I want to work with Jake s, but I am not interested in working with trip. I don't like the vibe he gives off. I went to the Moors today, and saw a green thing at the cairn, which I think is a creature where you trade a part of yourself for magic, or something similar to that. I wonder what role it plays in the game haha. I'm so excited to see how the tribal for Iolaire goes, especially their confessions. I don't know any of them, so it'll be nice to see what they say, since I'm planning to getting to the merge. I can only hope and see what the future gives me.

Oh and also vi threw my name out there for being voted out and idk why  so I'm nervous about that but hoping I don't leave tonight!!!

I honestly won't be shocked if I'm blindsided tonight I have a bad feeling about this. Hopefully the vote is simple and we all vote Aundra out. Hopefully no power or idol comes into play or I'll be screwed. Time will tell where people stand cause it's a easy vote , I beki

I’m gullible af and I’m probably leaving so if this is my last confessional, good luck to my right hand woman Tara

Aundra says they are voting tim.. and everyone else is voting aundra. I’m voting tim just in case aundra does pull out an idol, no other reason why. Not telling anyone, including aundra

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/168623103951/tribal-council-3-iolaire

August is voted out 5-3-1-1. 

#ALostPuppyDog #episodes

[chaosbisexual]

1-92 mofo

FUCK RIGHT OFF MATE OK 

(lov u)

i took off the ones abt sex except for 1 bc i can 

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

on tumblr…. it was u babe so take that how u like 

on imessage… no my dude 

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

NOPE MY EX IS ON DRUGS 

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

ehhhhh idk possibly 

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

no but like he’s in my classes?

6. What are you excited for?

yr 10 formal and finished for the year 

7. What happened tonight?

i made fajitas watched youtube and read fic,,, but it’s only 7pm 

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

no do what u want… i just get annoyed when straight girls are suddenly making out with every other girl in sight BC BITCH Y CAN’T THE GAY GIRL GET SOME

9. Is confidence cute?

y e s self love is super hot 

10. What is the last beverage you had?

tea11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

like one or two? 

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

three actually THEY MAKE MY BUTT LOOK GOOD

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

refer to 7 

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

bus fare 

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

what kiss 

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

yes what the hell 

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

uhhhhhhhh like leah, the space gals, and my pal steph 

18. The last time you felt broken?

probs yesterday 

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

i can’t study and i hate having feelings for people 

21. Are you in a good mood?

eh im in neutral u made it better tho lmao 

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

yea y not 

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

no i am harry potter in which i have my Mother’s eyes

24. What do you want right this second?

more fajitas 

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

…huh 

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yes but i think due to the sun it’s a bit lighter than usual 

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

no omg humour is important

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

the vid u sent me 

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yep my mother 

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

i think so but there’s a line between 2 chances and 50 and if you have to give someone more than like 2 extra chances drop them lol 

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

no he’s a butt but he’s ok and he helped me make fajitas 

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

look i honestly don’t know but if he doesn’t then H O W 

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

lmao no i wish 

34. Listening to?

africa by toto, next in the queue is paint by the paper kites

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

yes my last test was in pencil 

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

again w the whole NO ONE HAS KISSED ME THING 

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no love is not purely based on appearance lol 

38. Who did you last call?

the guy who i’m doing my psych pres with

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

my pal nat in a stationary shop 

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

HMMM AGAIN WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

props like the last time my history teacher brought them to class

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

nope lol 

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

YES CONSTANTLY 

44. Do you tan in the nude?

whats tanning dont know her 

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

IF THIS HAPPENS ONE M O R E TIME 

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

nope i wish tho 

47. Who was the last person to call you?

my dad

48. Do you sing in the shower?

hell yea i do 

49. Do you dance in the car?

hell yea i do 

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

yea twice 

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

like 3 weeks ago for a school thing but the angle was gross 

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

NO THEY ARE MY LIFE AND SOUL 

53. Is Christmas stressful?

YES I LOVE SHOPPING BUT NEVER HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR EVERYONE 

ok i can’t be bothered to do the the format like that anymore rip nice structure

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

a wot

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

apple and blueberry 

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

vet or journalist, still wanna write to some degree lol 

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

i think there is something beyond what we see but idk 

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

yes omg sometimes before i travel to somewhere new i dream abt the place and then i get there and im LIKE I HAVENT BEEN HERE BEFORE WHY DO I KNOW IT and it’s bc i dreamt abt it

59. Take a vitamin daily?

HHAHAHAHAHAH

60. Wear slippers?

no BAREFOOT BBY 

61. Wear a bath robe?

nah dressing gown tho 

62. What do you wear to bed?

t shirt dress or men’s shirt 

63. First concert?

taylor swift im sorry 

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

K MART BITCH 

65. Nike or Adidas?

nike but i dont wear either 

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

CHEETOS WE DONT HAVE FRITOS IN AUS 

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

peanuts dude

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

currently sparks fly or the live back to december 

69. Ever take dance lessons?

NO I GOT FRIENDS WHO DANCE THO

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

lowkey want to marry a painter or a designer 71. Can you curl your tongue?

yeee boii 72. Ever won a spelling bee?

nahh 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

YE at my sister’s wedding and at the disco last year lmao 

74. What is your favorite book?

hp, trc, or i’ll give you the sun 

75. Do you study better with or without music?

wWITH 

76. Regularly burn incense?

nah got a wax burner

77. Ever been in love?

ppffft i wish 

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

hozier, arctic monkeys, the lumineers, dua lipa, lorde, hippo campus, the weeknd

79. What was the last concert you saw?

taylor swift but i’ve been to like festivals since then? 

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

hot but since summer is a comin 

81. Tea or coffee?

tea

82. Favorite type of cookie?

white choc macadamia 

83. Can you swim well?

i could before i got boobs

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes 

85. Are you patient?

NOPE 

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

baND (mostly bc last time i went to a wedding w band the singer was HOT and she could sing like beyonce) 

87. Ever won a contest?

uhhh i think so?

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

nope lol 

89. Which are better black or green olives?

don’t eat either!

91. Best room for a fireplace?

LIVING ROOM OR BEDROOM GUY 

92. Do you want to get married? 

i think so but also i cannot understand why anyone would want to marry me 

ok i lov u more than i love steve harrington have a good night lad ! this was v long i hope ur happy 

#sarah #asks #long post #w-byers #HONESTLY THIS WAS A JOURNEY

[spiralatlas]

Pax 2017 Panels day 1

Today was an unrivaled success. I didn’t break anything.

Western Dating Sims: Beyond Tsunderdome

Are we having fun: Playing games critically

The State of Queer in games

Western Dating Sims: Beyond Tsunderdome

Barbara Kerr https://ms45.itch.io/ Jack Crnjanin Pritika Sachdev Cassiel Kelner localiser, translates from Japanese to English Shakari former insomniac now indie Jess Zammit games critic Queerly represent me

Not a competition between Western and Japanese dating sims, both are good. But there are trends.(The panel talked a bit about Japanese games too anyway)

Main difference: more established genre in Japan, less accepted in the West.

Basic framework: generic main character. Selection of different kinds of love interests, often very tropey. Situations range from mundane to fantastical.

Kenka Bancho Otome  Dating sim where you are crossdressing as your brother at a fighting school and have to beat the boys to get them to respect. (Not available in English but checking the spelling lead me to an anime adaptation on Crunchyroll, no idea if it’s any good)

Often don't have much family, no mention of that background.

Freshman and Sophomore cute have f/f. (Couldn’t find links for these, sadly)

Saying exactly what somebody wants to hear until they kiss you- is that bad?

Everyone showered DAO characters with gifts.

Desire in the west to mirror the complexity of real relationships.

Examples mentioned: Cute Demon Crashers, Lady Killer In A Bind.

Strategic dating is good:

predictable

choose a character you will definitely like

"Game-Like"

clear differentiation between characters

 learn how to interact with people

Kindness Coins: dating sims are safe. I can't be hurt, if I get scared I can shut it down. Safe space. Explore sex, relationships, communication.

Counterpoint: Strategic dating is bad:

predictable

replicates shitty real life behaviour "I was nice to you, you should date me", like blaming FPS for violence

Not much fun for the developer

Complex games justify complex mechanics

Tusks: gay orc dating sim. Can enable NPC autonomy. harder than he expected.

Queer relationships (Queer and gay used as synonyms a lot this panel :/) Producing your own games allows you to reflect yourself Coming Out On Top: straight dev, lots of consultation. A bit tropey in parts but not too bad. Tusks: complex variables & approval w queer orcs Lady Killer In A Bind BDSM safety warnings in loading screens The Crown and The Flame it's good to be the queen. Pixelberry just lets you bang anybody. Kind of have to pay to follow the f/f path fully in some games.

Further recs:

Astoria Fate's Kiss: greek gods and mythological figures. Equal partnership with Hades. Medusa's story is full of queer characters, often you feel like the only queer character in a game, normalises it. Alex is non binary.

Brooktown High cheesy typical highschool game. Can be a boy or girl but have to be m/f. A bit dated, so bad that it's good. PSP game.

Pixelberry Choices: can date m or f, choose stuff about PC.

Dream Daddy is a very straight gay game but fun.

Date or Die.  

A game about dating Japanese warlords that may or may not be Destiny’s Princess

The Arcana

Paris the City of Love

Fire Emblem: Fates

Great Personality

There was a liveplay of part of Dream Daddy. The audience voted overhwhelmingly to talk to Damien first.

Are we having fun: Playing games critically

Rami Ismail: @tha_rami Alayna Cole: @AlynaMCole Dakoda Barker: @JiroJames David Hollingworth: @CPTHollingworth Jess Zammit: zammitjess

Distinction between playing for work and fun?

We do this because we like games, except for the games we do in fact hate.

Rami: Started making games before he started playing, modding code in simple ways in QBASIC (this is also how I got started).

Alayna: Being paid in neocoins to make people's profiles. Didn't realise until after highschool that coding skills could be used to make games.

(And then I stopped keeping track of who said what)

Took a while to realise it could actually be a job.

Having been a critic changes the experience, doesn't make it less fun just different. Same with reading or watching tv when you're a writer.

Yonder the cloud catcher chronicles: playing to review took away from her enjoyment because she had to get a review done quickly when it's supposed to be played in a slow, relaxing way.

As a creator he’s looking for shortcuts and tricks. Walks back and forth to test out where he thinks a loading point is. "Did you see that cool action scene?" vs "Did you see that cool slow zoom??"

Played intro area of Mario Odyssey. This is so good I’m angry, time to pack up the games industry.

"I wish I could do that"

Used to be a rule never to give 10/10. Now they do it if they just really love a game.

Have to put a game down to play the next one, it’s frustrating.

Criticism doesn't have to be finding flaws but can be figuring out how it works. Creator’s job is to trick the player into believing that the world of the game is real and the plot is important.

What does it mean to you to play games critically?

Looking at the game means looking at the creator. What are they trying to do or say? How do they execute it? Even AAA games have a group of humans behind them.

Rami cheerfully ruined games for everyone eg FIFA goalies perform worst at the end to give more last minute wins. Every game with percentages is lying. If you are told it's 50% accuracy people expect not to lose more than one time in a row. Humans think stuff is "fair" when it's in their favour.

"It's a platformer where you shoot things...about love." How is that mechanic making you feel love?

Bad games can be informative. Earth Defense Force. Defending cities from giant ants. "I want ants. 1000!" "That can't work with the frame rate" "AND LASERS."

Every bit of a game is controlled. Someone chose every detail to be the way it is. Ask why it is the way it is.

Good to question the choices people see as default. "Did you notice every character is a white dude?" Things that are considered important vs things that are just made "the default"

Is there a conflict as both critic and developer? Even the positive feedback made him feel bad, he just focused on any negative aspect. Conscious as a reviewer of not attacking the developer themselves. Still write spiteful humourous reviews, but avoid attacking developer, know there are things they can do better.

Giving feedback is hard. Rather than questioning intent, help them achieve their intent better.

By the time you get most negative feedback, you know about the flaws, have heard about it all before. Let people be angry for three weeks, then fix. Half the time they end up fine with it.

People who play a game a lot will say it's too easy, if you listen to them you’ll make a game that puts off new players.

A player might say "this weapon is too strong" but they mean "the boss is too easy" or "you get the weapon too early". Listen, but not too hard.

Multiplayer game, teams supposed to be balanced, but one team kept winning. Turned out one had louder guns, made them more aggressive so they won.  FEEDBACK IS HARD.

Who you are giving the feedback to makes a big difference. A student, a friend, a developer you want to help, asked to write a snarky review.

Games CAN be fun, but expecting them to be JUST that is reductive. Games can let you feel something, find catharsis.

We are affected by everything we engage with.

Games are part of a wider industry. Pays peoples wages, needs to be looked at critically.

Even if it's just fun for you, someone else might have a different experience from the same game. I won't tell you what games are for you and you don’t tell me what games are for me.

If you're at PAX you spent money to be here, you care.

"just" for fun implies “fun” is not a great value.

Knowing his game helped someone in hospital deal with pain.

If you want to be a good game maker, play lots of games and see how they're made. Keeping a journal of every game he plays.

If you are playing a game and feel something, figure out why.

When giving a student a game, give them a challenge like "explain X to me", so they have guidance, a direction to go in.

Thinking critically in a fun way: fun to write reviews when you're angry. Critical isn't negative, just more active.

You can't force players to engage in any specific way, just make the game and let them do their thing.

Some players will get really angry anyway so just make your game.

Hype can work against you as a reviewer, makes it hard to be objective if the game disappointed you. Can also be hard to say you loved a game if everyone else hated it.

Balance frustration with a sense of achievement. Frustration is a tool, as is a grind. The “random” drops aren’t entirely random: if you haven't gotten anything good in a while it'll give you something nice, and if you get a good drop too early it gets held back. Testing, see how people feel. If people aren't complaining you're doing something wrong. If everyone complains about all classes it's balanced.

Nanojam 3.0: Wacky Live Game Design

Jason Imms, Rami Ismail, Paul Verhoeven, Leonie Yue, Maize Wallin, Lucy Morris

So a little before this started my body went NOPE NOPE NAP TIME, and while I did manage to drag myself in near the end I wasn’t up to taking notes. I had a great time though, it was hilarious. The panel got given silly ideas for games and brainstormed them together, while an artist drew illustrations.

The State of Queer in games

Ashton McAllen @acegiak Saf Davidson @wanderlustin Charlie Francis kennedy @CharliethGfish Alayna Cole @alynamcole queerly represent me Jess Zammit @zammitjess David Hollingworth @cpthollingworth

What have the panelists played in 2017 that was really good queer rep:

Horizon Zero Dawn subtle, sidequests, feels very natural

Tacoma lesbian couple part of the main cast. Very cute, positive and real.

Miss Fisher's Murder Mystery has cute background f/f couple.

Life is Strange Before the Storm isn't very gay yet but is going to be.

Mighty Games added queer couple to the background of Charming Rooms, support for marriage equality in update in Shooty Skies. Good place to work, big "Vote Yes" sign on the window.

Dream Daddy: lets you choose your previous partner and how child was born, cool as an adopted person. (Also makes it easier to play trans character)

Pyre: choose pronouns

Lady Killer In A Bind lets you skip sex scenes, has an option in the menu you can change at any time. 

Night in the Woods. Background m/m couple.

Little moments that people enjoyed:

Heartstruck app dating sim (you ate the daughter of a president) LI actually SAYS she is bi. (not sure if the same as Lovestruck?)

Hacknet Labyrinths: Incidental queer content is good, rather than PLOT TWIST THEY'RE TRANS.

Criminal Case Pacific Bay: Background f/f in a hidden object game.

Recs from audience:

Overwatch made Tracer a lesbian, but only in extended content. In that case not so bad because of the nature of the game. All back stories are extended content (compare to harry Potter). She has a line in the game where she mentions her girlfriend.

Tides of Torment Numenara: 2 body types and 3 pronouns.

Stumbling blocks and salt:

Mass Effect Andromeda: had trans character tell you her deadname. At least they fixed it.

Where are the explicitly ace and bi characters??

Lost phone turns out to be owned by trans woman, feels really vouyeuristic, inspiration porn. No agency or voice.

Why isn't there more incidental queerness??? So easy!!

Don't rec stuff to us JUST because it's queer if it's not something we'd enjoy. 

Only representation is aliens and robots.

Even in most games with incidental queerness it's a tiny drop in a sea of heteronormativity.

South Park lets you pick your gender etc and you get attacked for whatever it is. The fact it happens to cis people won't make it less awful for trans characters. Game designers need to talk to people with diverse POVs and have diverse teams.

Why not 3 body types, or sliders? Saints Row is the bar.

Encountered none as a reviewer of AAA games over 2017 (was playing as a dude in Mass Effect Andromeda and got bored before encountering any queer content)

Can make Shelob a sexy woman but not add queerness to Tolkein??

Annoyed that it's SO notable that a character has a gender neutral pronoun option.

As a trans person I am escaping my shitty life as a trans person, I don't need that in a game.

List of demands:

Gender neutral pronoun options if there’s a gender/pronoun choice. Charlie will help you.

Bisexual anything.

Asexual humans.

Robots having sex.

Incidental queers.

Explicitly non binary characters, not necessarily androgynous.

#panels #conventions #pax 2017 #pax #recs #queer

[menphinaschevalier]

LGBTQ+ Awareness Regarding Jehovah's Witnesses

June is LGBT Pride month, chosen to commemorate the riots of Stonewall, which occurred in 1969. June is a month of recognition for those within the LGBTQ+ community, a time were we celebrate who we are, remember the freedoms won in past and those we presently fight for. It's a month when all of this, these issues we face everyday, are highlighted with more focus by those outside our community and so this June I have the aim to do what I can to spotlight an issue that is largely unknown to be the danger that it truly is.

As an LGBT person who was born into and raised in a Jehovah's Witness family, I have both experienced and witnessed the damaging effects of the cult’s culture, particularly pertaining to homosexuality.

Most people know Jehovah's Witnesses as the conservative Christian religion most likely to be responsible for walking you up on a Saturday morning with a knock on your door. If you live in a metropolitan area, you might have noticed them standing beside a cart of Watchtower literature, or seen a big blue square bumper sticker on someone's car with the message 'JW.ORG'.

What most people do not know is that might seem as an orderly sect of Christianity is in reality a high-control cult, making use of hallmarks such as lovebombing, thought policing, brainwashing, isolation and shunning. Here is the video shown at the 2016 conventions, used as a model example of how to treat those who leave the Organization. Click here for the full video, or here for the video plus commentary by an ex-JW former Elder and author.

These practices are what make the Jehovah's Witnesses Organization particularly lethal to its members, including those who are LGBTQ. The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, also known simply and ominously as The Organization, have always held the stance that homosexuality is a sin forbidden by the bible not unlike many other sects of fundamentalist Christianity. However, due to its extreme policies, the repercussions are often more severe. In recent years, there has been a visible increase of information fed to members reminding them of the deplorable nature of homosexuality, encouraging them to see LGBT persons as sub-human, and reminding them that a person's sexual orientation is a choice or habit that can be broken as a person would seek anger management for their temper.

To make a comparison, you could say: “You know, many claim that violent behavior can have a genetic root and that as a result, some people are predisposed to it. (Proverbs 29:22) What if that was true? As you might know, the Bible condemns fits of anger. (Psalm 37:8; Ephesians 4:31) Is that standard unfair just because some may be inclined toward violence?”

The above is quoted from Young People Ask: How Can I Explain the Bible’s View of Homosexuality? which you can read for yourself here, on JW.org. 

As part of this year's District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses, three day conventions where members listen to talks and symposiums, a three part video drama will be shown entitled 'Remember the Wife of Lot'. Among the mess of poorly directed, problematic content are segments which remind convention attendees that homosexuality is condemned by God and by any faithful follower. These segments are shot in a way that dehumanizes the three visible gay characters in the drama, both a gay couple shown on television and the gay assistant of the titular character shown with only the backs of their heads visible, even when interacting and speaking for a prolonged period of time on screen. These are unmistakably deliberate choices directed from the Organization with the aim of encouraging and programming its members not to simply disagree with the 'homosexual lifestyle' but to view LGBT persons as a subhuman, alien group whose relationships revolve solely around lust.

Here is a short video that specifically calls out the main scenario where homosexuality is highlighted in the drama, though the strange ‘back of the head’ framing involving Gloria’s gay assistant takes place in the end of the third part. You can watch the full drama here.

This is an attitude that has loomed over the Jehovah's Witnesses culture decades, one that was actively present in the congregation I grew up in. A woman from a generational family of Witnesses had decided to live a celibate life, resisting her 'sinful nature' so she could remain a member of the Organization and keep contact with her family. Dispute her adherence to scripture, she was socially marked by her fellow members as 'bad association', treated marginally better than someone to be shunned. Comments such as 'I cannot wait until all the gay people are killed in Armageddon' are not uncommon to overhear in conversations, and any mention of homosexuality during the weekly congregation meetings beckoned attendees to express the depths of their disdain.

I cannot emphasize enough the emotional and mental damage that this can cause a person. As a social system that is set up to trap its members from any escape, any LGBT person within the Organization is under the constant oppression of knowing how disgusting their existence is to their only community.

As a Jehovah's Witness, you are expressly disallowed to have any close contact with individuals outside the Organization, or as they are labeled and known by members, ‘worldly people’. Anyone outside the Organization is routinely villainized as a dangerous threat at worst, possible convert at best, with no room for coexistence or agreeing to disagree.

Your entire world is confined other Jehovah's Witnesses, all of whom are likely to report you for anything you might confide 'for your own good'. It is, after all, a doomsday cult who believe that when Armageddon comes all non-Jehovah’s Witnesses will be executed by divine wrath. 

If you are someone born into the faith like I was, it's often the case that most of your family will be in the cult and pressure you into baptism, from which point you are trapped. Being brought up in this environment is extremely toxic to anyone, but can be especially poignant when you are gay. There is no safe way to ensure that you have any outlet. You are boxed in with a culture that is actively brainwashing your loved ones to loathe you, while you yourself have been brainwashed into believing the only good and kind people in the entire world are your fellow Jehovah's Witnesses.

The woman whom I spoke of earlier eventually stopped coming to our Congregation, along with her family. I like to think she found all the happiness she deserved and was denied, but I have no idea where she is or what happened to her. I hope that she was fortunate enough to find a support system outside the cult. Too many times there are instances of homelessness, drug addiction and suicide that stem from the incredible stress and emotional devastation of losing your entire social circle in the blink of an eye. There are countless stories of abandoned Witnesses who in desperation and grief turn to harmful alternatives for comfort, and these same accounts are waved in the faces of their friends and family as an ‘I told you so!’ by the Organization.

How do you help someone in such a tightly controlled situation? Spread the word: There are resources and websites that compile the corruption of the Watchtower Organization, but it is still a mostly unknown problem, particularly within the U.S. The more attention that can be brought to the truth of the cult, the harder it will be for Watchtower to keep its members in the dark. Jehovah's Witnesses are not allowed to read anything about their religion outside of the Organization’s published and approved material. One of the best ways to dismantle the harmful behavior in this Organization is to draw enough attention to its harmful practices on a large enough scale that its practically impossible to avoid. 

Be patient, be kind: Remember you are dealing with victims of a cult who have been brainwashed into believing every single person who is not a fellow Witnesses is a danger to them. Remember that this applies to everyone inside the cult, parents and children, young and old. 

Provide resources, if you can: A lot of Witnesses might not know about resources like suicide prevention hotlines, shelters or even therapy. The degree to which someone has been isolated 'from this system of things' can vary severely, with some families deciding against any sort of help outside Elders at their Kingdom Halls, and therefore never educating their children that there IS alternative aid outside the religion. 

Absolutely do not express your anger towards their religion: Even while I was living with my partner, states away from my controlled environment, it took months before I was able to even begin coming to terms with the truth about what I had known as ‘The Truth.’ Any hostile action, including blunt facts about the cult, can be seen as validation for worldly people being cruel, evil imps whose only goal is to lead them astray from the righteous path of everlasting life. Remember that most Witnesses have been brainwashed into really believing this doctrine, even if they are terrified and miserable living as a Witness, no matter how strange or insane some of their beliefs might seem. 

I am alive today because I was fortunate enough to find a source outside Jehovah’s Witnesses who simply by being themselves, planted enough seeds of doubt about the Organization for me to survive the constant assault of worthlessness and self-hate I was programmed to feel everyday. 

I am alive today despite having my own mother assist me with attempted suicide, because it would have been ‘better’ for me to die then as I was, a scared 16 year old who had admitted to being gay, than for me to continue living and be killed at Armageddon for that same crime. 

I am lucky, but there are so many out there silently suffering everyday, inside and outside the LGBTQIA+ community. Please, take a moment to think of those inside your community this Pride month and if you know of any LGBT+ Witnesses, young or old, take a moment to let them know you love them and they are not alone. 

#lgbt #pride month #gay pride #religion #cult #jehovah's witnesses #JW #ex-jw #tw; abuse #tw; suicide #tw; depression #tw; homophobia #homophobia #long post

[oh-beyond]

Sweat AU - One shot [M]

Suho liked to go to the gym which made him sweaty… I hated it, but I learn that I was wrong…

Suho x reader

Warning: Smut +18

Masterlist

A/N: OK so I am OCD myself, so don’t be bashing me about this one, I think for Suho I might put my anxiety aside...

Birthday feels, happy 26th birthday bunny prince.

“But I told you I could shower there, and you say you don’t like it”

“How can you shower in the gym? All the germs and god knows who used it before”

“But then if I don’t shower there of course I stink, what do you want me to do? Build a shower in the backyard so you don’t get disturbed when I come back home?”

“I didn’t say that Junmyeon. But don’t kiss me when you are dripping sweat, I told you I can’t stand it”

And that is how it went. My relationship with Junmyeon couldn’t be better, everything was perfect. Everything except that he liked to go to the gym too often and I can’t stand the smell of sweat and how sticky he looks when he comes back. It’s beyond me...

Today was his birthday and I was planning something really big for him, I will make extra special... but not just yet.

He wakes me up with a light kiss on my forehead, his feather-like kiss is everything I look forward every morning. Even today that it was his birthday and I was supposed to wake him up with a kiss. He’s done it again.

Being perfect.

“I have late shift today Jun, let me sleep”

“I’ll prepare us breakfast”

He was unbelievable, he was going to make breakfast on his birthday... how lucky was I?

I washed my face and comb my hair and I go downstairs following the fresh bread smell. He even had time to cycle to the bakery and get my favourite pumpkin seed bread.

I sit down and frown when I see that he is again sweaty, he comes over and gives me a kiss on my cheek, I wipe it immediately.

“Junmyeon~~~ don’t touch me when you sweat! OMG like why can’t you memorise this?”

“Sorry baby you just look so inviting and I w-”

“Don’t touch me!” I continued, he watched me as I kept nagging “why can’t you respect my freaking anxious ass? You have no consideration, I told you like a thousand times. Like I don’t even comment on the socks you leave next to the dresser, or the mess you make when you shave. This is not a joke!”

Junmyeon sat down in silence taking a slice of bread “I’m sorry”

Maybe I went a bit overboard, especially as it was his birthday. I mean he’s been doing great and in fairness my anxiety has lessened ever since we had gotten together. 

I did exaggerate, because Junmyeon was one of the most considerate people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. And he was my boyfriend and he loved me and respected me and never questioned or made fun of me.

He was too patient and he loved me too much.

Junmyeon went to work that day a bit too quietly, he did shower and give me my goodbye kiss but he was off. I know it will be perfect when I surprise him today when he comes back home.

Nothing to worry about.

It was already 4 pm and he didn’t call, Junmyeon usually called during his lunch break but today he didn’t. So I decided in calling him instead.

“Hey baby!”

“Why didn’t you call me all day?”

“I’m sorry, they surprised me today at work, so we went to have lunch out”

They had surprised him for his birthday... that birthday that you didn’t acknowledge yet.

Perfect, the more upset he gets the better surprise he will receive.

“Alright don’t be late tho”

“I won’t, I love you”

Candles, petals all over the floor and on the silk sheets, a pretty sexy babydoll, one of those he loved that you were too lazy to wear. Makeup smoky and red lipstick like he liked. And the ponytail that drove him crazy because he loved pulling you from it... everything for him today.

I crossed your legs and looked at your watch. It was already 7 pm and there was no sign of Junmyeon’s car.

Where was he?

“Junmeyon?”

“Yes?” he replied panting.

“Where are you?”

“I am at the gym”

“Why? You didn’t say you would go today”

“I just ate too much cake, just burning some calories”

“You are so obsessed with them calories, have you seen your body? You would need you whole body weight in cake to gain weight, a piece of cake won-”

“Yeah yeah, I’m fucking obsessed with my perfect body, just as fucking obsessed with your fucking bathroom and good smell and fuck”

Who was this?

Perhaps he was upset and it never showed... too much, I had to come up with a solution.

“Myeon-ah~~~”

“What?”

“Come over... pretty please?”

“Yeah in an hour or so”

“Bu-”

He terminated the call while I was still talking. 

Panic.

I put on a hoodie over my lingerie and a pair of sweatpants as fast as you could and drove to the gym. It was deserted, not a soul. But I still looked out of place with all the heavy makeup. There was a group of girls that that looked like they finished their session that shot me some gazes questioning my looks for working out.

I looked around and there he was, on the treadmill, running like there was no tomorrow, wearing a sleeveless blue T, sweat all over, his hair wet and his frown visible.

“Goddamnit, look at him, he is gorgeous, ugh, oh I’d like to taste that sweat”

I heard one of the girls say as they all stared at my boyfriend eating him up with their hungry eyes.

“I wouldn’t mind that and give him some stress relieve, he looks like he needs to unwind, release some. Oh I’d gladly take him all”

I couldn’t keep listening, but I wanted to keep listening? 

I stood there also looking at my boyfriend, the sweat did give him a special look tho in all fairness. He glowed, he was sexy. 

And he was all mine.

Just when I was about to head to talk to him one of the girls went before me. She leaned on the handrail making Junmyeon take off his earphones, slowing the speed.

“Can I help you?”

“Perhaps I could help you pretty boy” she said turning off the treadmill completely.

“Excuse me?”

She moved and joined him on the treadmill “looks like you could use some stress relive. I just know what exactly you might need”

“Is this a club now? Get down I need to finish”

“Oh I’ll get down if that is what you want”

“Alright I’m not interested”

He pushed her away and placed his towel over his shoulders, he walked passed me as I fixed my baseball cap for him not to recognise me.

“Fuck! He must be gay!” announced the girl to her friends.

“Or taken, have you thought about that?”

“Let me discover that, you know no one resists these bad boys” she said confidentially fixing her sports bra.

I follow her ready to punch her pretty shaped ass that looked perfect on those leggings, she just simply goes inside the men’s changing room unhesitantly.

“Hey!” 

I hear Junmyeon exclaim.

“This is the men’s- oh- wait, what the fuck?”

Sounded serious. I opened the door slowly to see Junmyeon pinned to the lockers.

“It’s a pity to wash off all this sweat”

“Really? First time someone tells me something like this”

What!???

Panic run through your system... why wasn’t Junmyeon pushing her away now?

“Well then they are blind because boy you look so fine”

“Is this the appropriate place to approach a guy this way tho?”

“Let’s take a shower together so you can tell me all about this not being appreciated, and how to approach a guy and where” she said as she run her hands down his forearms.

I needed to see this, I wanted to see how far he’d go but I just couldn’t, my feet moved forward opening the door slamming it to the tiled wall, causing the unfortunate tile that came in contact with the door handle to crack.

I took off my baseball cap and crossed my arms over my chest leaning on one leg, my hip moving to the side. I bit the inside of my cheek and eyed this bitch head to toe.

Junmyeon was taken aback, he pressed himself further to the lockers, my appearance must of been comic because this slut was giggling to herself.

“Baby!?” he stuttered.

“Oh you are taken!” “Move your hands off my man if you want to keep that pretty hair”

“I’m not interested in guys that are taken” she stated “but you might wanna take better care of him” she added before taking her leave.

Once we were alone I looked at Junmyeon again, his hands pressed on the locker, his expression still as if he’s just been caught in headlights.

I moved forward scanning his face, I was so close, almost touching his sweaty body, my anxiety levels were on edge, he did smell and I was upset, my stomach churned. But then I saw it, the other side to all this.

My eyes traveled to his jaw and his chin, there was a droplet of sweat dangling, I still don’t know how my hand went all the way to his chin wiping the droplet with my thumb.

“Baby!” he said eyes wide open.

“Shhh, bad birthday boys don’t get to talk” I whisper, my voice coming out the sluttiest I’ve ever spoken in my entire life.

He just admired how I’m rubbing the sweat between my thumb and forefinger, he was amused by it.

He can’t recognise me, also he thinks he’s in trouble, but all this mess can work in his favour after all.

“You do smell... you stink actually, I don’t get it, you shower so much but you still stick”

“Baby, let’s go home, I’m sorry, but believe me nothing happened, she was eyeing me since I came, herself and her friends and I ne-”

“So you knew that there was a group of girls checking you out and what do you do?” I ask trapping him between my arms as my hands rested on the lockers.

“I ignored them”

My eyes travel from his face to his neck and Adams apple that was bobbing nervously, I heard him swallow and it did turn me on, my anger suddenly replaced by a throbbing between my legs.

I detach myself and tilt my head to keep looking at his body, his drenched sleeveless t-shirt, his forearms that were shiny, his torso and the the t-shirt that gave away too much.

“And what’s with all the heavy makeup? And that lipstick? I never seen you wear red lipstick that dark?”

My eyes meet his again and I unzip my hoodie painfully slow, his ears seem to move almost at the sound of the zipper expectant. It’s halfway open and my hands move the hoodie to the sides, making him see preview of what he was going to get.

“It’s your birthday, and this was going to be one of your presents, but you decided to come to the gym instead” 

Junmyoen gulps again, eyebrows knitting, throwing his head to the locker making a big sound as his head hit the metal door.

“Baby? Are you upset?”

I look around and find the showers “take shower” I order.

“Here?”

“Yes here” he nods and smiles. 

I surprise him by walking behind him.

“Where are you going?”

“To the handicap shower, that is where you are going to shower. And that is where I am going to watch you shower”

My voice. It affects him, I see him tremble as if icy cold air just hit him. He can’t deal with what is happening right now, but my authoritative tone is making him lose his shit.

He takes his gym bag and heads towards the handicap shower, I enter behind him and I have to admit that the place looks decent enough, it even smells like good cleaning products that disguise his sweat odour. This might be easier than what I thought it would.

I lean on the tiled wall and watch how he rids himself from his drenched t-shirt. Oh but one thing was Junmyeon’s torso, and one different thing was Junmyeon’s torso after working out, and hell yes did I have a hot perfect boyfriend or what? I was even learning to like the filthy sticky look.

He was about to pull his shorts down but he raised his head to meet with eyes. I already had my lower lip between my teeth and he knew I was ready to scream his name.

“Baby... this is awkward for me”

“Remove and shower” I demand pointing at his lower body.

He was being so obedient, the most I’ve seen him.

I liked it.

He finally was naked, he didn’t give me the view of his front but his butt cheeks were enough, his back muscles coming to life and he raised his arms to lather the shampoo on his hair.

Ughr, no I can’t, I just can’t. Why can’t I? I mean I’ve seen him naked so many times? Why was this affecting me this much.

I needed friction.

NOW!

I found myself unzipping my hoodie and pulling my sweats out of the way, I turned off the water while his face was still full of soap.

“Baby- oh-” he moans when he feels my body pressed against his.

I wipe the soap out of his face and kiss him, he is taken by surprise and he just receives the kiss like the good boy he is. He parts his lips and lets me deepen the kiss, all while his hands were to his sides.

I break the kiss panting, I want more, I want Junmyeon.

“Baby? Your lingerie will get ruined, and we are in a public bathroom”

“Rip the fucking lingerie and I don’t care where we are” I say bluntly as I play with his hardening member.

“Holly fuck what happened to you? I’m still all sweaty”

“I don’t care, Junmyeon, I want you” I add stroking him faster.

“Your makeup... is that a mole you drew on your upper lip?”

“Yes to match yours, so you know what yours does to me”

He didn’t add anything to that but I felt his hand inside my thong, cupping my ass before pulling it down. Once it was pooling over my feet he lifts me up and slams me to the cold tiled wall. I moan at the contact on my back, my legs find his waist and I wrap them around him. Next thing I feel is his tip at my clit rubbing finally getting the friction I needed all while his teeth sink in my collarbones.

“How are you so naughty today baby?”

“Inside, now! Do it!”

He wastes no time and he is inside. Finally. He ponds fast an in an erratic manner, the unusual place and my change in behaviour must of done something new to him because he is too hot, he is pounding in me like he’s never done before, he has me seeing stars while I scream his name.

“You like that baby? Rough and dirty like this?”

“Jun~~~ angh~~~ yes”

The tiled surrounding made my voice sound 10 times louder and it was doing wonders to Junmyeon, he lasted and lasted, shamelessly not caring if anyone heard by now.

When I reached my high my legs felt heavy and my body limp, I was catching my breath when finally Junmyeon released with one last hard thrust that felt that hit my brain. He took ownership of my lips sucking hard bringing me closer to him as my legs finally hit the floor.

“Fucking hot, you will drive me crazy one day, I can’t control myself around you”

“That was by far the best”

“Must be the sweat baby”

“Happy birthday Myeonnie, let’s go home I still have many things to show you”

“More that this?”

“There’s a cake that needs to be tasted, and there ain’t no plates” I touch his abdomen and I already see his member twitching again “I thought your chest is a good place to put some cake” 

“Oh babygirl, let’s get home”

_____________________

A/N: I am Suho’s personal dumpster, I am his trash and he owns my soul... like full ownership...

Thanks for reading.

Happy birthday velvety peachy bunny.

#exo scenarios #exo imagine #exo smut #exo fanfiction #suho scenario #suho's birthday #Suho fanfiction #suho smut #suho one shot #exo one shot #smut #kpopsmut #junmyeon smut

[burclay]

Be Held Chapter 6

I put this on AO3 ages ago, but I forgot to put it here.

After the stifling heat of the motel room, the cool air outside felt good on Faith’s skin. And the loneliness, or maybe the alone-ness, because for the first time in a long time, Faith wasn’t lonely.

AO3 Chapter 1

Faith woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like she had to get out. She kicked off the covers and squirmed a little, trying to get comfortable, but finally, she pulled on the pants she had been wearing the day before and went out to the parking lot.

After the stifling heat of the motel room, the cool air outside felt good on Faith’s skin. And the loneliness, or maybe the alone-ness, because for the first time in a long time, Faith wasn’t lonely. That was a perk of this whole situation, but still. Maybe Faith had been lowkey in love with Buffy for years, but that didn’t mean she was prepared for Buffy to love her back. Somehow, now she had what she had been longing for, the air was closing in around her, and even love could suffocate.

Faith sat against the wall next to the door and closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel her surroundings. She had learned some meditation tricks in prison, some of them taught by therapists, and some of them a byproduct of spending weeks of her life trying to calm down with nothing around her but a bunch of angry girls. She used them all now, and eventually she fell asleep leaning against the wall.

Her eyes blinked open to sunlight in the morning. Sunlight and Willow kneeling next to her.

“You okay, Faith?” she asked. “Everything okay with Buffy?”

“What?” Faith blinked a few times. “Oh, yeah. She’s fine. I’m just--”

“Not ready?”

Faith shrugged. “I guess.”

“You know,” Willow said, “Buffy’s generally pretty good at loving. You just have to let her.”

“I’m trying, Red,” Faith said. “But I’ll never be good enough for B.”

“If you had said that a month ago, I might have agreed,” Willow said. “But you’ve proven yourself.”

“How’d I do that?” Faith asked.

“Beyond being a general badass?” Willow’s hair fell in her face, and she shook it back. “We made her feel like no one in the world loved her, and you went to her. And I suspect that took a lot from you.”

“I could never watch her suffer.” Faith looked down at her lap. “Even when it was my fault. She killed me, Red, and I felt bad for her .”

“I know it’s hard to let her love you,” Willow said, “but if you can, it’ll be the best part of your life.”

Faith looked at Willow and smiled. “Thanks, Red.”

Willow stood, looking over her shoulder. Faith followed her gaze to Kennedy, standing by the bus. “And, speaking of love, mine is waiting for me.” She looked back at Faith. “We’re going to get the girls from the hospital. Want to come?”

Faith shook her head. “B’s going to freak if she can’t find me when she wakes up.”

Willow smiled. “You really do love her.”

Before Faith could answer, Willow had walked away. Faith watched Willow kiss Kennedy before getting on the bus. It was such a casual kiss. Could Faith ever do that?

Of course, Willow had been more evil than Faith had ever dreamed possible. If she could look that kind, surely Faith could.

On the other hand, Faith had a longer history of not being able to stay still. And Willow had only gone evil out of love to begin with.

Then again, so had Faith, in a way.

She was overthinking everything. She needed to get out of her mind. She stood and started jogging around the parking lot, trying not to get sweaty. The motel shower was not an experience she cared to repeat more often than necessary.

She managed a couple of laps before one of the motel doors opened and Andrew came out with his camera. Faith sighed and jogged up to him.

“What do you still need a record for?” she asked the lens. “Don’t know if you noticed, but we kind of won.”

Andrew lowered the camera. “I’m trying to record the aftermath.” He put on his storytelling voice. “The battle may have been won, but the war is far from over.”

“Actually,” Faith said, “that was the war. There might be more wars later, but I’d pretty much call that the war. At this point, you pretty much just look like a creep.”

“Faith?” It was Buffy’s voice.

“Crap.” Faith backed away from Andrew. “I’ll lecture you later.” She raised her voice. “Over here!”

Buffy jogged over to her. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Faith said. “Just dealing.”

“Okay. If you want to talk about it, just let me know.”

Faith thought back to what Willow had said earlier.

“I’ll talk,” she said, “when this kid gets his camera out of my face.” She pointed her thumb at Andrew.

Buffy glared at Andrew. “You’re really on this again?”

“Fine. I’ll go see if Dawn will let me record her.”

“Record her doing what?” Buffy shrieked.

“Let him go,” Faith said.

Andrew scurried away. Faith saw him knocking on the door next to theirs.

“You want to let him do who-knows-what with my sister?” Buffy asked.

“Relax, B. He’ll just interview her or something.” Faith grinned. “Besides, he’s obviously gay.”

“What? How do you know?”

“Sixth sense.”

Buffy stared.

“It’s pretty much obvious,” Faith said.

“To you, maybe.” Buffy glared, but there was no real hatred behind it. “Anyway, you’re not getting off that easy. You said you’d talk to me.”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” Faith said. She shrugged. “Don’t you think we have enough deep conversations?”

“I think it comes with the relationship,” Buffy said. “We have to communicate or whatever.” She looked down. “Besides, I like talking to you.”

“I’m not really cut out for this girlfriend thing,” Faith said, picking at her shirt.

“I know,” Buffy said. “You’ve said.”

“For once, I’m trying,” Faith said. “I’m just not good at it. Round peg, square hole. But Angel says I gotta try new things, and I guess you’re not new, but it’s close enough, right?”

“Sure.”

“Just-- I’m sorry if I don’t cuddle well.”

“You cuddle great,” Buffy said. “When you actually let it happen.”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m sorry for. Not letting it happen.”

“It takes time.” Buffy reached out and took Faith’s hand. “I can wait.”

Faith looked down at her hand in Buffy’s, then back at Buffy’s eyes, looking at her with so much patience.

“When I went bad, the thing that hurt me the most was that you were so good to me,” Faith said. “And I didn’t let you be.”

“Let me now,” Buffy said.

Faith opened her mouth to respond, but then she saw a couple of Slayers coming out of their rooms.

“Baby Slayers are waking up,” she said, letting go of Buffy’s hand.

Buffy turned to look. “Good to see they’re alive.”

“We’ve got to get out of this motel today,” Faith said. “Even if we just flee to Angel in L. A.”

“We can bring it up with Giles when he gets up,” Buffy said. “We don’t have rooms for the girls Willow and Kennedy are bringing back, anyway.”

“I’ll call Angel,” Faith said. “We should clear it with him before we get a whole troop on board.”

“Sounds good.”

Faith hesitated, then gave Buffy a quick kiss on the cheek before striding back to her room, ignoring the stares of the baby Slayers. Buffy could deal with them.

When she called Angel Investigations from the motel phone, Fred was the one to pick up. Faith could hear the smile in her voice.

“Angel Investigations, we help the helpless!”

“Hey. It’s Faith. Can I talk to Angel?”

“Hi Faith! I’ll get him.” The line went silent for a moment, and then Faith heard a muffled, “Hey, Wes? Can you get Angel?” And then Fred’s voice came back, loud and clear. “Wesley’s getting him.”

“Thanks.”

There were some extraneous noises, and then Angel’s voice came over the line.

“Hey, Faith. What’s up?”

“We won,” Faith said.

“Thought you might. So now you need a place for a bunch of teenagers to crash?”

“Slayers, now,” Faith said. “But yeah, that was the idea.”

“Slayers?”

“Yeah. Red did a spell. All the Potentials are Slayers now. I’m sure they’ll pop up in L. A. soon.”

“That explains a few things,” Angel said. “We have a couple of girls running loose. I’ll let Wes and Gunn know what’s going on.”

“If you let us crash, we can take those girls off your hands.” Faith sighed. “We still haven’t talked to the whole gang about it, but Buffy’s with me on it. We’re not helpless, but we could use some help.”

“Okay,” Angel said. “We’ll get some rooms ready.”

“Thanks. And, hey, if you need anything Slain--”

“I’ll be sure to ask you.”

“Cool.” Faith glanced around the room. “Okay, I’m in something of a leader capacity here, so I should probably go. Thanks again.”

“No problem. See you soon.”

“With any luck.” Faith hung up the phone and headed back outside. Lots of people were outside now. Buffy was talking to Renee and Vi, Dawn was sitting on the ground with Chao-Ahn and a book, evidently trying to communicate, and Giles was leaning against a wall, looking around at everyone. Faith wandered over to Giles.

“Hey.”

Giles pushed himself off the wall. “Good morning, Faith.”

“Angel says we can crash at his hotel for a few days if we need. I figure it’s better than this place.” Faith waved a hand at the motel. “Probably space to hang out that’s not a parking lot.”

“Yes, well, that makes a lot of sense,” Giles said. “Are you sure we wouldn’t be imposing?”

“We can help Angel out,” Faith said. “And apparently there are some new Slayers in L. A. that we can take with us to wherever we go next. England, or whatever.” She paused, then added, “Buffy’s on board.”

“We will have to speak with the others, of course,” Giles said, “but that would indeed be preferable.”

“Maybe we can have a big bus meeting when Willow and Kennedy get back?”

“Big bus meeting it is,” Giles agreed.

“Cool.” Faith looked around. “I’m going to go tell B.”

Giles nodded.

Faith stepped past him to sidle up next to Buffy, just in time to hear Vi ask, “So, what happened next?”

Buffy glanced sideways at Faith. “I’m telling them about homecoming.”

“Good times.”

“Pretty much.” Buffy looked back at Renee and Vi. “So, Cordy totally started yelling at this vampire, and she scared him into leaving the library, and then neither of us won Homecoming Queen. So we didn’t really win.”

“Yeah, and you barely hung out with me,” Faith said, pouting. “After I embarrassed your ex, too.”

“It’s not like I asked you to,” Buffy said.

“But you enjoyed it.”

Buffy did that sly smirk, the same one she had had on her face when Faith had suggested using a couple of guys at the dance. “I guess.” She shrugged. “He’s gay now, anyway.”

Faith laughed. “He’s not the only one.” She looked at Renee and Vi. “Sorry to interrupt Slayer story time.”

“You’ve got stories,” Buffy said. “Tell them about the time we had to fight that big Hellmouth thing.”

“Oh, that was good,” Faith said. “Pretty straightforward, though.” To Renee and Vi, she said, “Big monster, we got it. That’s the only other major apocalypse I’ve helped in, though.”

“But you’ve been around for a while, right?” Vi asked.

“Yeah, but I was in a coma, and then I kind of spent some time in jail. Long story.”

Buffy cut in. “She went bad.”

“Apparently not that long.” Faith shrugged. “I’m all better now. But I missed some good fights.” She looked at Buffy. “By the way, Angel’s cool with us crashing.”

“Oh, good,” Buffy said.

“Angel?” Renee asked. “Isn’t he the vampire?”

“Yeah, he’s cool,” Faith said. “And his house is wicked big. Like, hotel big.”

“Because it’s a hotel,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

“Getting me on a technicality, B.” Faith shrugged. “Where are the other Scoobies? Don’t we have to do the big group poll thing?”

“Giles is on board,” Buffy said. “Willow wasn’t opposed, which means Xander’s been outvoted. We’ll leave in a few hours.”

“Works for me,” Faith said. “You educating the youth?”

Buffy looked at Renee and Vi. “Just telling them the juicier stuff.”

“Oh, like when you--”

Buffy put her hand over Faith’s mouth. “Nothing that you could possibly be about to say is good.”

Muffled, Faith continued. “Like when you turned into a girl from the 1800’s on Halloween because you wanted Angel to like you?”

Buffy sighed and let her hand down.

“Wait, really?” Vi asked.

Faith nodded.

“How’d you even hear about that?” Buffy asked.

“Willow and Xander told me way back when I first got to Sunnydale. Remember, I was pretending I was impressive?”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

Faith addressed the other girls again. “If you want the really embarrassing stories, you have to ask Xander or Willow.”

“But don’t,” Buffy said, glaring at the girls.

Faith shrugged. “Do what you want.”

“You’re a bad mom,” Buffy told her.

“Hey, who said I was the mom?”

“You want to be the dad?”

“I’d settle for weird aunt,” Faith decided.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

It was late that night when the bus rolled up to Angel’s hotel. They’d had to herd all the girls onto it, and then they’d had to stop for dinner, and then they’d had to deal with traffic going into L. A., so in the end, they got there at eleven. Faith opened the door, and Slayers tumbled in, looking with wide eyes at the space around them. Looking around, Faith had to admit that it was a pretty nice space; Angel was lucky to have it.

No one was behind the desk, and no one was studying in the back, and no one was in the little office to the side. Faith called out a couple of times, and Angel appeared in a doorway.

“Oh, hey, guys.”

Faith glanced at Buffy, standing next to her, looking as if the smallest breeze would tip her over. Good thing they were inside. In her peripheral vision, Faith saw Giles, Willow, Xander, Andrew, and the other Slayers fanning out behind her.

“Hey, Angel,” she said. “How’s it going?”

#myth-spoken #btvs #fuffy #writing

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #6: “because Sweyn’s Baddies are COMING” - Jones

My bitch ass glasses broke so I’m more than happy to be doing a challenge that requires my ears. Maybe wil my eyesight so poor my hearing will get better to compensate who knows. Even if we lose I’m in a Gucci spot to survive.

Tribal was a success. With the first tribal done I’m happy trust is built and I can stop being paranoid.

With that said I think I’m in a good position going forward as I have an alliance and we’re probably reaching a merge or a swap soon.

my plan of action for my tribe since we legit havent got Anything on the doc yet (me n michael have an excuse..) is to make it seem like im doing more than i am. oh im gonna work on it soon! i’ll do this soon! like its all about seeming like im contributing.. when i aint LAMDKNDG

me n michael made a f2 altho it breaks my heart to say its just for the sake of my survival on this dumbass tribe.. theres no way malik flips on me and with michael as my f2 i can essentially force him to flip on danielle if he wants to stay which is like perf rn since i dont really trust her..

i miss my close allies tho lol. like ryan is my #1 n its unfortunate he isnt getting a chance to make more bonds considerig we need those bonds for his idol to make a big move.. hopefully mercia loses again and wes goes tho? it evens it up to 6 sweyn vs 6 mercia and i think itll swap again before merge and hopefully ill be with ryan/rhys/jones :)) my social game is good rn i think.. i just gotta lay low with physical and downplay strategy so im never the target. hard w/ these personalities tho. X

SOOO THIS CHALLENGE IS FUCKING HELL!!! U KNOW WHAT WOULD BE BETTER? IF OUR WHOLE TRIBE FUCKING DID SMTH!!

like im actually gunna go fucking mad.. its songs. yah its hard to identify bc theyre distorted and overlapped but theres no excuse not to get at least artists.. or even one song. malik n michael can barely do that.. LIKE YEAH I HAVENT DONE THE BEST BUT IVE GOT 2 SONGS THERE RN AND IDENTIFIED NICKI + XTINA SO! BLOOP! im gunna kill myself.. poor dani. its especially painful knowing ill try to get her out if we lose LMAOAOAOA but i mean.. (: oh well!

This challenge can litterally chomp on a dick. No. I hate it. I dont want to do it. Like BEGONE.

Honestly its so hard, and like i dont listen to pop so im struggling with it. Hopefully we win, but I feel safe if we go to tribal.

At this point I am so upset because I feel useless because all the ones I know have been picked and idek if anyone took my suggestion seriously. If this round ends my game, I’m going to be so upset!

We’re pretty much fucked unless a miracle happens

I've been a bit nervous about my position and stuff in the game and I'm trying to catch up socially with a lot of people and stuff. I'm doing what I can on a five person tribe and hope I can work on hard on getting as far as I can in this game. I have a feeling we merge next round so that could be cool. I wanna make it far as I can this game, I'm trying to be active but UTR so hopefully it works.

WE WON FIRST PLACE AGAIN AND THIS TIME I WASNT A FUCKUP WOOOOOOOOOOOOP WOOP I’ve been talking to David more and I helped out a lot with this challenge so I’m hoping he won’t want me out next time we go to tribal.

THREE IN A ROW, BABY. Feels good to not have gone to tribal since Jose's elimination. Also an added bonus that I basically carried our tribe to win today, not a big deal, LOL.

Also, with the reward, I've now got a vote steal advantage. This is HUGE for me. I have a group of people I wanna work with in this game and if this group is down in numbers at any point, this vote steal can come in handy.

that challenge was a damn mess but i'm just glad we made it out alive. sad Canute lost though ugh i'm sending all of my positive energy to Scott so he can make it through.... hope we merge next round that would be cute; i'm ready for more action in this game

im gunna kill my self . :) WE LOST. AGAIN. :) NOT MY FAULT. AGAIN.

n now i gotta deal with fucken awkward 2-2 tribal lines when i have a f2 with michael and a love for malik.. but bc dani is good at challenges her ass wont go and thats so annoyin but u can bet ur ass ima try somethin if i have to bc i dont trust malik to keep me safe vs her whereas michael will.. if i have to flip on malik i will

why me tho like im a good person. i dont deserve this. why couldnt i be on a competent tribe. LMAOAOAOA.

THANK GOD WE WON IMMUNITY if we lost I probably would’ve spontaneously combust Bc I love??? My current tribe??? I love Madison too and It sucked we voted her out Bc I actually adore her but she wasn’t doing a lot. I just love this tribe and if we had to vote for each other again I’ll lose my marbles. Maybe we can work more together going into merge if we get there? I hope so, because Sweyn’s Baddies are COMING

Well, we lost once again and I’m upset about it. The challenge was super hard for us and we struggled. It seemed like everyone wasn’t really putting in all they could as they just said “I forgot” I was like oh!! cool!! This tribal, I’m not crazy worried right now. I trust Scott a lot at this point because he doesnt have a reason to lie to me by telling me that I’ve been holding up the tribe because... I have been. I think the move this week is to vote out Malik. We’ll see whats going on but I really think we might be doing that this week. Hopefully there’s a merge soon because I need to fucking be by myself!!!

My ass is for sure on the line tonight. I know that  Malik is targetting me for being weak and all that so rn I’m just trying to get Scott 100% on board with voting me and Malik 100% certain that he is safe with me just in case there’s an idol and maybe if I’m too in my nerves and scared I have no qualms with throwing a vote on dani incade of a tie

You know what they say, another week safe, 

That one didn't seem so easy,  partially cause I sucked at it and mainly because I sucked major balls at it. But hey Mo and David saved our asses so yeeeeeeeeeeee boi. And not only that we also got reward but not really cause the only thing I got was a jpg image, and so did Felix David and Mo according to them which means either one of them is lying or Wes has it. Either way I guess it's not the end of the world.

So now Canute is going to tribal I wonder how that is gonna play out, a part of me wants Dani and Michael to be safe but another one wants rocks but at the same time another one would be jealous cause I wouldn't be a part of it and I could use some rocks in my life. Either way that's it for now folks now if you excuse me Felix wants to kidnap me and introduce me to the spooky facebook wikia comunity, spooky shit indeed.

So WOOOOOOOO this is the first tribal of the season that i'm not attending which is amazingggg and feels so good to finally have a break!! Plus like I honestly LOVE my tribe rn bc everyone is so iconic and fun and we even made a charlie's angels thing bc its so iconic... ugh love them BUT if it came down to tribal I think I would be okay still since i've really worked on rhys and we have a 3 dude gay guardians alliance of me, rhys, and ryan even tho im not even gay but they dont need to know that... my boy scott is in tribal rn but i hope he comes out okay!!! if he doesn't well oops idc bye bitch but if he does then yay!!

Tonight I am absolutely terrified I think the votes are gonna be on Malik but you just never know so my best plan is just to hope for the best and campaign to stay I’m not just gonna sit back and get eliminated especially this close to a merge situation where I know I’ll be in a good position to make it far.

im legit gunna die im so nerv and i shouldnt be. LIKE. I TRUST THAT MICHAEL HAS MY BACK. AND MALIK ISNT VOTING ME. SO IT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO GO. BUT I DONT THINK THAT FOR SOME REASON. all i can think of in the back of my mind is what if michael and dani flip on me and its 2-1-1.. but theres nothing i can literally do bc if i vote michael and stay our relationship is gone lol

ughhhh i should just be positive but its so hard bc even if malik goes.. i feel awful LMAAOAOOA but like. uhm. yes ): i feel awful

Scott as much as I like the guy I can for sure see he lets his emotions dictate how he plays and while that’s not necessarily bad it’s difficu when you’re trying to blindside someone and he could just run and tell Malik so the nerves are here and out to play hunny

My thing is I think it’s is going to go to rocks. Which is why we were worried about that when linus left but it’s real. Dani we don’t wanna vote each other, hell everyone says they don’t want to vote me which is always weird for me to hear but if that’s true good if they’re all voted me then nasty.. but I don’t want to vote Dani and I definitely don’t want to vote Scott..so that kinda leads to Michael which I don’t want to vote either but I have reasons: the main reason is the past couple of challenges he’s done the worst in, and if we need to survive incase there’s no swap or merge then we need all the strong members here.

I feel a bigger bond with Dani and Scott vs Michael who I feel is cool but I don’t feel we’re clicking on a better level. And it’s not even a tribe thing it’s literallt what I feel could save us from tribal, and how don’t i know if Dani and Michael won’t vote me out right after Scott leaves? So basically what’s happening is it’s likely going to be a 2-2 on Michael and Scott, and I’m not changing my vote. So I’ll likely go to rocks and lose but that’s ok. I did my best and it could be a stupid move but I don’t wanna risk Dani and Michael voting me out if we lost again, because I’d hope Dani wouldn’t but you never know. So rocks here we come!

Malik is voted out 3-1.

#episode #royallyyours