Sam’s Heart
from a tender age, she was cursed with rage
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I just want to be like you, Sam.
Eight words burned into her mind, echoing every time her hands got that familiar itch. A constant burn flowed through her chest, inflaming her lungs. Unlike Tara, she wasn’t cursed with asthma; she was born with the venomous urge to assassinate.
It was all manageable at first. From the neighborhood dog she had put down after it bit Tara; to the night she beat Jack O’Sullivan to the point of paralyzation for the way he touched Tara on the playground. Nobody could ever prove that it was her, though. Sam was a good girl. She babysat all the kids in the neighborhood, mowed lawns in the summer, and shoveled sidewalks in the winter. The neighbors loved Sam Carpenter, giving her the praise and attention she wasn’t receiving at home.
Sam was ashamed at first. She didn’t want to hurt people. She felt awful for pushing Amber down after she shoved Tara into a puddle, and she cried after breaking Jackie Lucci’s nose after the girl stole her gym shoes. But then she turned thirteen, and the truth came out.
Deep down, she knew that something was wrong. It was refreshing to know that there was a reason that her knuckles were always bruised and her teeth dropped blood. A serial killer father. Fitting for the girl who destroyed anything she could lay her hands on.
For a while there, Sam drifted. She disappeared into her head, putting down her sword and picking up the bottle. Though her head is full of smoke, her mind has never been clearer—years of pulling back results in the relationship she had with her baby sister now.
She knows that she’s selfish and that she used Tara. Her ego gets stroked the tiniest bit after getting inebriated, and she bruises her sister. Not physically- she tears Tara apart the only way she can: isolation and separation.
Sam didn’t know what was wrong with her. Her actions were confusing- one minute she was here, the next she was wiping tears of joy off her face, laughing at how her sister cried. She shows her teeth and laughs out loud- as she never wanted saving from her past, she just wanted to be found.
Eventually, she escapes that town and finally breathes for the first time. Little by little, the urge to maime disappears, and she lives like a normal person.
And then she comes back to Woodsboro, bringing the devil with her.
(Admittedly, she’s glad she met the devil. He showed her that she was weak- and a little piece of him was in a little piece of her).
Despite all her shortcomings and false promises, Tara hangs onto her, sinking her teeth into her shallow skin. Her little sister comes back and still wants Sam.
I just want to be like you, Sam.
Once they kill the devil a second time, Sam then sees the same carnal creature that lived in her, in Tara’s eyes. The bloodthirsty urge to destroy those who have wronged others. The desire to play the victim and the villain: jury, judge, and executioner. She sees it in her little sister when Chad trips Sam for fun, or when Mindy ridicules Sam a little too hard.
It wasn’t long until Sam found the journals full of urges. The makeshift shiv under the pillow, and the extensive hidden knife collection behind the confirmed it. Her sister was turning out just like her.
Sometimes you have to close a door to open a window. And so Sam leaves the window open, letting her sister follow her in the dark.
After a while, Sam finds a new boyfriend. He isn’t good for her; the sisters know that. He takes what he pleases and offers nothing in return. Too many nights of screaming matches and breaking dishes haunt the halls of the new apartment the girls had chosen themselves, a sickly reminder that once the abused, always the abused. Sam had promised never to be like her mother- even begging Tara to prevent her from the inevitable.
So it really wasn’t a surprise when Sam came home to Tara carving his heart out with the butcher's knife Sam had hidden under the bedside table.
(That should teach a man to mess with her)
It wasn’t shoddy work. It was clear Tara had practiced this before. The rising missing persons reports in their area made sense now.
I just want to be like you, Sam.
For a while, Sam just watched. She watched Tara tear apart the man who haunted their halls, disemboweling him on their kitchen floor. Blood soaked Tara’s jeans, droplets flecked across her cheekbones. Her little sister worked with a giddy enthusiasm that was typically reserved for writing or board games.
Sam couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. Her little girl needs to work on her technique, but she is doing fine. Tara was turning out just like Sam.
There was a small part of her heart that wanted to scream, pull Tara back, wrap her up in her arms. To pull her away from this carnage that they were woven into.
But a more significant part of her heart was enthusiastic to know that it wasn’t just her that was plagued with bloodlust. She wasn’t alone in this world, and she had a partner ready to execute with her.
So when Tara grins back up at her, those big doe eyes shining with bloodlust, she gives in. She kneels, wrestling the knife from Tara's hands, and pulls her baby sister in. Blood soaks into her shirt, forcing the fabric to stick to her skin like a used bandaid. She doesn’t scold, she doesn’t soothe. She just grins into Tara’s shoulder.
And Tara smiles back.
The mess didn’t matter to Sam. Blood washes away. Bodies go missing. People disappear. It was the way the world worked.
All that mattered was that her baby sister was just like her. Sam wasn’t alone in this cold, cold world. She had a baby sister who wasn’t afraid of the blood that flowed in hollow veins, and she liked it.
There were no soothing or gentle words needed to placate the pair. No amount of prayers or kindness would be enough to help stop them. All they needed was the gentle blessing of bleach to cleanse their souls and make way for a new kill.
They say what’s done in the dark will find its way to shine. Sam has done so much that when they see, they might go blind.
I just want to be like you, Sam.
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