#these will likely never exist so lol keep it chill

[heretyc]

Trager, Eddie and Val DBD pages (+ some headcanons)

The DBD Killer page maker disappeared off of the face of the Earth, so I had to work with what I could find, unfortunately. Credit to PierceLeVeil on Reddit for the templates! (I added the Mori sections)

Just a lil note: I like to think that the Entity spoils the killers and leaves the survivors to rot. In this you're a survivor because I had more opportunities <3

Trager is definitely a hit-and-run killer like Wraith, but he'd benefit from losing the chase, and immediately finding the same survivor so his ability can stack.

He'd be a douchebag lol. He'd tunnel and camp you if you angered him.

If he has a challenge to do, I honestly think he'd let you farm. Maybe hit you a couple of times. Some challenges are just too stupid to try and do normally. Also gives you both a break.

He would 100% befriend Doctor. That's what I wanted to call him till I remembered that Carter existed. They'd exchange torture methods or something.

He scares Lisa Garland. She hates going against him.

If he moris you, he'll take your fingers. That's it.

He also likes it when he hears your pained groans. Iron Will is his enemy.

If you use Dead Hard against him, he'd get pissed.

"Are you fucking kidding me? How did I not see that?"

If he camps you while you're on the hook, he'll taunt you.

"How's it hanging, buddy?" "Get. fucked."

He hates Trickster. It's the hair.

At first he hits people on hook, because he thinks it gets them sacrificed faster.

Him and Entity probably drink martinis together.

He likely stole the Hooked on You cosmetic set from Dwight. He wanted clothes for the beach, baby.

Drags you to the Killer side after every trial so he can patch you up.

"Those med kit things you use are shit. Come to me instead. I still have my license...I think."

Gets a little pissed off if other killers rough you up. That's HIS privilege, not theirs. Even then, he's tamer with you.

He doesn't sleep. He sees no reason to. He will, however, allow you to sleep in his cabin. The survivor tents are uncomfortable, anyway. You always wake up to a bug in your face.

If any of your teammates are rude to you, or they're purposely throwing, he becomes annoyed.

Fascinated by Blight.

Eddie's playstyle is 100% like Michael's. He'd stalk after one survivor and let the others do their thing. However if you constantly swap the Obsession, I think it'd be fun.

You are always the Obsession. How lovely.

He chases after you, and only you. But he doesn't like killing you off. :(

If you're hiding in a locker to heal or to use Head On, he will stand outside of it and smile. Waiting for you to come out.

He eagerly shouts "darling!" when he pulls you out.

He is the type to mori someone beside you as you're doing a gen.

If someone runs by you as they're being chased, Eddie will just smile at you and happily ask you to just ignore him.

Becomes devastated if you're harmed by other killers.

He, also, doesn't sleep. He'll cuddle you to sleep, though.

Not the type to camp unless you're the one being hooked. He isn't doing it to be a dick, he does it so he can stare at your face.

Becomes merciless if your teammates become rude to you. Refusing to heal you, not letting you work on gens with them. Just sit back, relax, and let him handle your teammates.

He keeps to himself.

Doesn't like the survivor side, and will bring you to his abode whenever a trial ends.

Becomes anxious if you're in a trial for longer than normal.

Dances with you outside of trails.

If you're the last one standing, he will refrain from giving you the hatch. You're both alone, you can bask in each other's presence for as long as the Entity will allow it.

He loves outdoor maps. Lerys makes him angry. Just like everyone else lol

Would match cosmetics with you.

Val's playstyle would be similar to Nemesis, I find. Addons would make the Heretics unstoppable.

Very fond of outdoor maps, especially Mother's Dwelling. They like the rain.

Affectionate inside and outside of trials.

Every killer and survivor knows not to bother the both of you. Heretics will no doubt guard their abode.

Will wear their robes in trials that you're not a part of.

Scolds killers who rip you to shreds.

I think they'd like Plague. Plague can't understand Val, and vice versa, but they'd enjoy each other.

Hag, too.

You'll meet up with the survivors before a trial, and they will see saliva all over your face. Val thinks licking you will bring you good luck.

Worships the Entity like you wouldn't believe. Because of this, I think the Entity will allow your safety as long as they're merciless with everyone else. [Also...come on. Multiple armed being? Feeds on suffering? This was meant to be.]

If they're chasing someone, a random Heretic will find you and watch you. Maybe even lead you to a generator or a chest. They are intrigued by flashlights. Especially the event ones.

Laughs at whoever tries to blind them if they're coated in mud. Built-in Lightborne, baby.

Trickster would likely try to pick them up. They're both freaks and it'd end up in an orgy between you, Val, Trickster and some Heretics.

Will sneer at survivors if they do something rude to you. All Heretics immediately go for whoever tried to sandbag you or tried to sabotage your chase.

Finds you attractive in any cosmetic. It could be hideous and they wouldn't care. All the more reasons to take it off of you.

They wish Knoth could be here. So they could torture him for eternity.

They LOVE hearing your pained grunts. Not only do they enjoy pain, but they love those noises.

#keep in mind these are concepts...the subreddit gets pissy if you make an “overpowered” perk #these will likely never exist so lol keep it chill #y'all are chill i'm just saying #outlast #dead by daylight #eddie gluskin #richard trager #val #if you guys want more PLEASE let me know. i love dbd and outlast #it fits

[bloodstainedcanines]

how do you do it??

#i don't get it. every playlist you give me is so good it's ridiculous and like #how do you just. do that. without feeling like you're carving your chest open in front of me #i mean maybe you do feel like that #but then how tf do you deal with that?? and how do u act semi chill about it?? #im like physically sick to my stomach and terrified lol #i actually don't know what they thought of the last ones i gave #i was to scared of the whole thing to think about it too much #i hope they never listened to them properly. i hope they listened maybe once through each max and then forgot they existed #and got bored and moved on and never thought about it again and didn't really like them that much anyway and didn't care #i hope they never bring it up again bc it never mattered to them anyways and we block it from our memories and #i hope eventually while cleaning out my spotify i delete those playlists #and he doesn't even notice bc he never listened to them anyways and we just keep living and i don't have to be scared #✿

[solselah]

(18+ Warning)

🌸•🌸

PILE 1 :

They are so turned on by you protecting the relationship like they feel so prideful and proud that you really are into this relationship like you say you are , they know it but you confirm it when someone wants to hit on you or get with you , like immediately you directly check that person and for your person that is so attractive it’s like you are willing to step up and Protect the vibe yall have going with each other ! It drives them crazy the feeling you give them, especially when relating to wanting a family like they WANT to impregnate you ASAP /STAT (lol you could be in the medical field)!! Your sex is so Special and sacred for them like the way you Snap into this goddess energy when you’re ready to fuck is astronomically attractive to them ! It’s like during the day your cool , chill , maybe you wear a uniform to work so you’re usually just in that , but when they see you in this other light it just makes them go rabid !! They also love how you blocked out your ex for them , they feel it proved your loyalty to them !

CHANNELED MESSAGE:

Your body just does something for me !! The things I fantasize about doing with you , girl you can’t even imagine , the next time I see you , just please let me hold you ! Fall into me, melt into me allow me to consume you the best way , you know I know HOW! This Love we have is something I’m sure you haven’t felt from anyone else. The way I Conduct four play with you is so natural and emotional ! I remember making you emotional while I was in it , I remember you making me feel amazing about pleasing you & with that alone I can go forever !! I want you to carry my seed. I want to intertwine with your whole existence! Don’t be shy with me next time I want all of you . Don’t hold back , I wouldn’t know what to do if you did.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

PILE 2:

Okay so off bat I’m getting your HOT , you’re just ATTRACTIVE like you don’t even know what to say for that it’s just YOU! This person is driven crazy by your eyes ! Like your look is so specific they quite literally see that part of you almost evertime they think/ picture your face (For my ladies) They love your ability to take D*** 🍆 , like they feel you are A trophy something to show off and you actually aren’t completely against this , it could be a soft kink for you both , to keep things spiced up and I’ll tell you this now , it drives them MAD. You guys could roleplay often , I’m getting 70s / 80s vibes so this could be the era you tap into while role playing or even the look you give off very mature and alluring !! They actually love when you guys Role play and really get into characters where you both are oblivious to who you are. It’s like you are strangers and get together randomly and it turns them on ! What drives them crazy is that you get WETT !! Like DRENCHED. They have never seen anything like it with anyone they’ve been with , definitely not as much ! It’s like you save this 🐱 just for them !! And vise versa 🍆 “it’s all yours”.

Channeled song : Bad habits ed Sheeran

CHANNELED MESSAGE:

You already know with me , I want you all the time ! Don’t even bother asking if I’m home ? If I’m busy !? I always have time for you and if not I’ll try my best to make that time ! Your body , your energy is always worth mine. I literally ask my therapist about how to approach you with this new thing I want to do with us. I just want to make sure you’re into this! You matter to me and I wouldn’t want to put you in position to feel like you don’t ! You just turn me on when you’re in your authoritative energy I can’t help but say YES SIR / YES MAM. When we aren’t around each other I manifest you , like heavy !! I hate we go through our ups and downs but , I can’t help but want you , like whether we are apart or always together ! Don’t doubt my intentions or feelings for you I would never doubt us. You may hate me at times but I want to always prove to you I’m here for you & want every aspect of you. don’t forget our secrets babe , you don’t sext me anymore , I used to love when you were at work texting me and turning me on making me Want to jump through the literal phone ! I love you 🥹

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

PILE 3:

They honestly love the pull back you do to them haha they feel frustrated but so turned on at the same time ! To them it’s the perfect mix of emotions !! It actually sometimes triggers them & you personally are attracted yourself to seeing them squirm to get to touch your body! For some you really make them work to touch the 🐱 !! You make them work to put it in haha it’s like “ahhhh gotta be quicker than that” vibes ! Sometimes they just want to softly choke you & hold you down so you can just take what they put down ! But they know already when it happens there’s no tapping out with them ! Haha they also are so crazily attracted when you surrender to them , whether that’s with actual fucking or them just going down on you lol no shade but you’ll tap out sometimes lol its alotttt / hot + sweaty. Btw you don’t even need too much to feel good with this person. It’s just crazy because I’m wanting to pick up on their energy but they are turning it back to you consistently so you really do it for them , you Put the icing on the cake for this person. pile 3 !! Like they can just explode 💦💦 looking at you ! You can really control the bedroom and you could totally be a sub when you want ! You make them thirstyyyyy! Like they go crazy eyes for you 🌻 , they really do value this relationship though! Your personal dynamic in the bedroom really turns them on !!!

Lucky daye - Floods

CHANNELED MESSAGE :

Why does everything have to be up to you ? I want to Play my role , play my part , I feel sometimes you restrict me from feeling free & I just haven’t been able to put my hands on how to resolve this ! It never disrupts us in bed but it has me thinking after we fuck sometimes what’s going on my love ? if I am doing something wrong or need to do something more please tell me ! I want us to get back to our hot moments. Like I miss having your videos sent to me so I can get off when you’re not physically around ! I could save you from whatever you’re going through or at least I can try … but you have to tell me.

Please let me know what’s up?

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

PILE 4:

They are so crazy about your spicy side like your mouth is LETHALL! Both sexually and verbally ! You can fuck someone upp with your words , like full blown

*turn around* “stop talking to me vibes”. I don’t know why I’m getting NY vibes , East coast living ! You’re so straight to the point it’s in you not on YOU and that fucking turns them way tf on !! It’s like they have a personal motivator & shit talker in one ! It’s beautiful. They truly love you for alot more than your sex but boy does it turn them on the things you are capable of doing with your mouth , That one body part does and says enough alone ! Like you go down on this person so GOOD , So WELL! 👏🏽👏🏽! Like your past professional ! They question if you were taught step by step by your exes or something .Basically you’re too good kind of suspiciously good! If you’re with a man like they get off so quickly it’s wild. you also Turn yourself on , you could masturbate and they Are turned on by that , they are content that you can channel self love through touching yourself , you get that faucet going real quick ! I’m seeing imagery of you pushing their head away or back like your 🐱/🍆 gets so sensitive !! They putss shit down & you return the same damn energy ! You both know how to bring the toxicity in the bedroom and shit gets reckless and can go on for so long !! You guys could literally fuck or give head anywhere that seems to be private enough for y’all ! Loud and all. They don’t even care , with you all bets are up .. they will “tackle” you for what they want in the bedroom Meaning what you have for them they know it’s theirs ! But y’all can be so toxic at times man , it’s apart of the fire in the relationship but it could definitely be an issue. Like a real one 😩

(Y’all could be interested in bringing a 3rd into the dynamic )

Turbo x Gunna - BACHELOR

CHANNELED MESSAGE :

Yo all this back and fourth with you Is crazy , I do try to respect you for what it is but you go way off the rails for me. One minute you say this the next it’s a different thing , like how am I supposed to trust you and your judgments with other people. Like don’t be giving away my 🐱/🍆 don’t just be passing that around. Whatever people tell me I dust it off , but I’m starting to wonder… I want all the energy stop sharing my 🐱/🍆 and whoever feels like they can challenge me in that , They have another thing coming. I’ll go to bat for you & you’ll really only know if I show you !

(So toxic , I can’t even express.) I’m kind of shocked myself 🙈

“I can’t see I’m blind “

SZA - BLIND

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope you enjoy ✨

IG: @SOLECCENTRIC

#pick a picture #spirituality #love #pick a card #pac reading #tarotdaily #tarot reading #connection #culture #pick a pile #18+ tarot reading #18+ pick a card #universal #pick a photo #celestial #tarotcommunity #truth #channeled message

[heesdreamer]

off the ice

PAIRING ➩ sunghoon x reader

SUMMARY ➩ dubbed ‘ice princess’ at an early age for you ice skating skills, you face the biggest challenge of your career when you’re paired with your rival for a competition dance.

GENRE ➩ rivals to lovers enemies to lovers

WARNINGS ➩ suggestive content, abusive figures and strict career lifestyle mentions.

WC ➩ 17.1k

DISCLAIMER : im not citing this as sunghoons personal experience with training or his career and im not making light of the abuse that goes on in the ice skating field and the strict dieting and lifestyle. also side note i literally don’t know a single technical term for skating tricks or competitions so this is my limited descriptive talented and googled information lol (not proofread)

The human body was something you’d never quite been able to grasp completely. It’s rules for right and wrong, it’s reactions to certain stimuli. The way it can bend and twist but not break yet one small accident can ruin it forever.

There was nothing you dreaded more than having that type of accident. It plagued your mind from early morning to late night, what ways you could avoid getting hurt.

Ironic considering your lifestyle choices seemed to bring nothing but hurt, only in the shape of bruised limbs and sore muscles.

Since you were 4 years old, your entire existence had been devoted to one thing. One single thing in your frame of sight, one thing that would determine your future and if you succeeded as a prodigy or failed as an old hobbyist.

On your fourth Christmas your mother had gifted you a small box that was wrapped tightly with a pretty purple bow. At that age you were, of course, more interested in the packaging itself than the contents inside it.

Little did you know, your whole entire growing life form was sitting inside the small box and you were en route to become a prodigy in the making.

For the next 15 years you spent everyday on the ice. Obviously retiring the tiny pair of skates that was hidden behind the old purple bow, you’d gone through dozens of pairs are you grew and the stitching began to fade and tear.

Throughout your school years, you lost yourself in a daze of studying followed by practice followed by studying followed by more practice. You, impressively, managed to keep a small hand full of friends despite the constant look of disappointment you’d face after canceling hangouts.

Then you were graduating, and with a big smile on your face, flowers in hand, you prepared to take a deep breath in and start your life with a blank state. The way you wanted it to be.

You scowled at the memory now as your hands smacked against the cold ice, shavings from the skid of your blade sneaking their way under your gloves and sleeves. Your deep breath of relief had been cut short by the icy chill and reminder that what you had been training for, didn’t end at adulthood.

“That’s the third time you’ve missed that.” Your coach was declaring from off on the side of the rink, ringing her hands together and peering down at you.

You didn’t mind Coach Suzy, if anything she was miles better than dealing with your mothers remarks and insults, but her need to point out the obvious wasn’t your favorite quirk of hers.

Pushing off from the ice back onto your skates, you held your scowl and did a loop around the rink to get back into the motion of it. Three tries without success was, in your standards at least, a complete failure. Your mother would be having a complete public fit if she had found the time to come today.

You simply haven’t, and did not, lose and you weren’t planning on making a late habit of it. Throughout your career you were quickly dubbed a skater to be on the lookouts for, a growing prodigy with a burning passion and a unique sense of style, the Princess of the Ice.

So to be stood here with ice under your nails like a complete amateur, was unacceptable. You furrowed your brows and prepared to send off again, picking up speed and hopefully enough momentum to complete the one jump you’d never had luck with.

Your coach’s whistle stopped you in your tracks and you turned your skate against the ice, stopping abruptly and glaring towards her in confusion. Upon the sight of her, and her newfound companion, your shoulders were deflating with annoyance and exhaustion.

Stood on her side, leaning against the railing and watching you with a half smirk and a skate digging into the ice below him, was none other than Park Sunghoon.

Park Sunghoon had begun his training around the same time as you and you two had immediately been put into comparison, despite the difference in genders never actually leading you to competing. Although, you didn’t need to be in front of judges to compete with each other.

He oozed natural talent and charisma, his body light in the air and swift on the ice. He was quickly named the best skater in your area and he’d yet to lose the title, with you always following a close second. The Ice Prince was spreading throughout the whispers of judges and growing fandoms and to make matters worse for you, he was completely humble.

“Making slushees princess?” His low mocking voice floating across the ice towards you reminded you immediately that humble, did not mean he was kind.

Quite the opposite actually. You and Sunghoon had both fully taken on the position of rivals in training and performance, paying more attention to each others marks than the ones of the girls you actually were being ranked against.

So despite your mutual popularity and matching affectionate nicknames given by the public, you’d yet to do any sort of collaborative stage or paired competition. Until this years national competition.

You came to a slow skate as you approached the two of them, doing a small spin before clumsily falling back against the railing and taking a deep breath. Your coach smiled over at you and your antics before putting on her serious face.

“It’s only three months before the competition guys and I know it’s not what either of you wanted and it’s a short timeframe but I need practice to start within the week.”

The practice and competition she was referring to was the fact your worst nightmare had come true last month when another soloist from your district was chosen to represent at this years comp. You had no idea why she was picked over you considering you routinely ranked higher than her but what’s done is done.

You had come to terms with the fact you wouldn’t be competing for the first time in your life, almost feeling a strange sense of relief at the thought, when Coach Suzy dropped the bomb on you that you were instead selected for the pair dance.

You weren’t completely unfamiliar with skating with a partner, doing some casual dances in low scale showcases and once or twice in an actually competition, but you had a bad gut feeling about who your partner would be judging by her hesitance.

And looking back over to his smirking face now, that same nasty gut feeling was sinking back in.

It wasn’t the actual performance you were necessarily worried about, Sunghoon was no doubt talented and he had more experience with partners than you. It was the enforced effort that not strangling each other everyday was going to take, that was stressing you out.

——

It was 4am and you were sat in the center of the rink, the cold ice against your legs and back wasn’t bothering you much, only a slight distraction as you read through the script and guide for your expected performance.

Your brows were furrowed as you flipped through the pages swiftly, nearly tearing them with the force you moved them. So focused in on the words in front of you, you didn’t even notice the sounds of the gates squeaking until a skate was in front of you.

Without glancing up, you sighed and flipped the booklet closed, raising it up in an attempt to hand it to the boy standing over you. You studied his signature skates with annoyance, furthering when he didn’t take the paper from you.

“I’ve read it.” He explained and you finally looked up to meet his gaze. His eyes were tired but also seemed to be studying your reaction to the materiel. You briefly wondered if he was having a late night or an early morning as you drifted your gaze to his tight black turtleneck down to his sport pants.

“Is she kidding with this?” You scoffed and pushed off your hands so you were standing with him now. He didn’t say anything, watching as you tugged down your sweater and wiped your hands off on the thick fabric. “It’s like sex on ice.”

“It’s supposed to be romantic.” He offered with a raised eyebrow and he laughed when you turned your sharp glare towards him. “It’s a staple, you know it is. And besides it’s a big deal that the ice royalty are performing together.”

You didn’t miss the hint of disdain in his voice at the audience given title and you once again found yourself admiring his humbleness, despite it seemingly border-lining on insecurity occasionally.

“Why are you here?” You found yourself asking before you even realized you were starting to speak, you pushed off into a slow skate in a loop around him and he spun softly in place to watch you as you circled him.

He shrugged softly, the sharp line of his shoulders raising and falling and you quirked an eyebrow at his lack of answer. Eventually he sighed and spoke again. “I just come here sometimes..”

Immediately you understood what he meant and why he’d be at the rink at these hours. The same reasons why instead of studying at home, you were sprawled against the cold ice that was natural for you.

Sunghoon and you had never seen eye to eye but you were undoubtedly living a lifestyle that not many people your age could relate to, and that was clear to you as you spent the earliest years of your life searching for somebody who could even half understand that reasoning behind why, sometimes, the only place to go was the skating center.

“Did you want to practice what you’ve read so far or just talk.” His sharp tone was seeping into his words again, switching the atmosphere immediately and you frowned for a second before remembering who you were talking with. You scowled and laid back onto the ice, the starting position of your dance.

“On your side” He said lowly as he laid down next to you, a few inches between you. You nodded, accepting that he understood the choreography better than you, and turned towards him. Your eyes followed down the slope of his nose to his eyes that were staring at the ceiling.

It felt strange to lay on the ice in such a vulnerable position and even stranger to be laying next to Park Sunghoon.

“Don’t face me idiot.” He was sighing, without looking at you, and you groaned and turned onto your other side.

“Music cue.” You whispered and he hummed in agreement. The first part of your performance was no doubt the most awkward for you, you understood the physical contact that came with stunts and pair skating but this felt unnecessary and strange.

You rolled your body across the ice closer to Sunghoon until you were climbing overtop of him, both arms out and caging his body so you didn’t touch. He was holding in a laugh as he watched you and you glared down at him.

“This is so stupid.” You muttered and and completed the roll so you were now laying on his right side, close enough to touch now. The position didn’t last long because his next move was to do a similar roll overtop of you, pulling you up with him to a standing position.

“It’s romantic.” He repeated his teasing words from earlier but they felt a lot more intimate now that he was laying on top of you, peering down at you from under his floppy bangs. You suddenly felt the urge to kick him off of you.

“Raise your chest up.” He instructed and you did so robotically causing him to pause and glare at you. “At least attempt to look graceful.”

You groaned and flopped back down against the ice, taking a breath and counting to three before once again sitting up slightly, this time putting more emotion behind your movements.

He nodded softly as he swiftly jumped to a stand over you at the same time you moved, his hands coming up behind you to rest on your shoulder blades. He was awkwardly bent over you in a frozen position, thinking about the next move.

“I forgot.” He mumbled and you sighed, pushing him backwards on his skates and bringing yourself up to stand instead of relying on him.

“I thought you read it genius.” You growled and circled back around to your abandoned script, flipping open the first page and studying it. You glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow at the zoned out look on his face. “I wrap my arms around your neck.”

He seemed to snap out of his gaze and looked over at you quickly. “Yeah then I lift you, I remember.”

You sighed and shook your head in his direction, ignoring the quirk of his dark eyebrow and obvious confusion at your motion. Without another word you turned and started skating back towards the edge of the rink, preparing to silently call it a night and start again tomorrow at practice.

“So that’s all you’ve got then?” You ignored his voice as it echoed from across the ice, by now you were far to use to his quick one lined remarks to truly let it have any effect on you. “Didn’t realize you were so content with losing princess.”

The sound of the ice under your skate was almost deafening as you turned your foot and squealed to a stop, ice flakes kicking up onto your ankles from the force of the abrupt brake.

You spun around and were back in his space in seconds, eyes burning from under your sweaty bangs and he stared down at you with amusement and that competitive fire you were used to seeing from him.

“I don’t lose Park.” You were spitting the words in his direction, the tips of your skates brushing against his with a soft clank that went unheard. You lifted a hand towards his chest and jabbed a finger onto the fabric of his turtleneck, causing him to softly rock backwards a few centimeters. “And I won’t start now so get your shit together and reread the script.”

——

Some mornings you felt almost robotic in the way you could wake up and be at practice before you even registered brushing your teeth, a quick blur of familiarity and installed routine.

Other mornings you wondered how much it would hurt to have to peel your skin from off your mattress, the imagery being the most accurate representation of how it felt to wake up and actually get started.

You were falling somewhere in the middle today, trudging through the lobby of the sports center with puffy eyes and jutted out lips to match. Marching past Coach Suzy, you ignored her furrowed brows.

“What is with the two of you today?” She was calling from behind you and you didn’t need to ask her what she was talking about, catching sight of the other half of her reference already out on the ice and wearing the same clothes from when you’d last saw him. You suppose your question of late night or early morning was answered now.

After you had laced up your skates and pushed out onto the ice, he offered you a quick nod of subtle acknowledgment.

“What.. no morning princess?” You admit you were grumbling as you skated past him, planning to warm up with a few loops around the rink. He caught up to you as you started, skating backwards so he could face you.

“I knew you secretly liked it.” His retort caused you to scoff and turn your eyes into a glare, although you both noted the lack of usual serious intensity. You were too tired to go back and forth with him today and judging off the darkness under his eyes, he was in a similar boat.

“She’s going to run us into the ground today.” You replied with instead, a subtle warning in your voice and he quirked an eyebrow at the casual conversation you were initiating.

“Looking forward to it princess.”

——

You were regretting not taking your own warning more seriously, hours had passed and most the other skaters at the center had packed up and went home, sparing you and your partner a pity filled glance as they left.

Coach Suzy had been relentlessly instructing you repeat and repeat the steps until they were perfection, even stopping you a few dozens times before you’d even completed the first move citing it was “messy and emotionless”.

“Where’s the chemistry.” She was shouting from the sidelines and you sighed loudly from your place above Sunghoon, he was holding you up by your waist for one of the smaller stunts and you felt him peering up at you. “There’s no passion.”

“Yeah, no shit.” You heard Sunghoon muttering as he gently set you back down onto the ice before, not so gently, kicking it with his blade in frustration.

You were standing still on the ice, taking a deep breath and resting your head back to look up at the glass ceiling above you, seeing the blue hue of the sun finishing setting. You wiped the sweat from your forehead and brought your attention back to your coach.

“Tell us how to fake it and we will.” You told her earnestly. You were frustrated that she wasn’t allowing you to fully practice the moves with eachother, despite understanding the need for a show of emotion to capture the audience, what was the point if you fell on your ass during a poorly practiced stunt.

“You can’t fake chemistry princess.” As much as you admired and respected your coach for the years of her life she dedicated towards you and your career, you couldn’t help but flinch at the way she spat the title at you. Her tone was almost mocking as frustration got the best of her.

Sunghoon came into frame, skating forward and placing himself in front of you. You couldn’t see his face but judging by the way your coach’s features softened over his shoulder, you imagined his expression showed he wasn’t happy with the way she was speaking to you.

“I don’t mean to be like this.” She shook her head and wrung her mittened hands together. “There’s lots of reasons here why it’s important for you kids to win…. Stuff we can talk about soon.”

Neither of you spoke for a bit, staring at her off in the distance and still catching your breaths from the intense practice. Sunghoon turned his head to look at you from over his shoulder and you nearly smiled at the familiar fire in his gaze. You nodded at him in confirmation.

“Don’t worry, we’re winning.”

——

“What part of this are you not fucking understanding.” Sunghoon’s irritated yell was hitting the back of your head as you skated a bit away in anger, taking deep breaths and attempting to not escalate the situation. “It’s a simple cascade down, it’s not even a stunt.”

“I understand it asshole.” You were spinning around to face him, your voice coming out loud and bouncing across the ice. “Maybe if you supported me better it’d be easier to want to drop down.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, watching you with downturned eyes behind his messy bangs and catching his breath slightly. Then he was shaking his head and skating towards the edge of the ice, opening the gate and looking back at you expectantly.

You watched him with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl, not understanding what he was silently insinuating or why you would cut practice short after only 6 hours. Only two days had past since the talk with your coach and if anything, you’ve only gotten more hostile towards each other.

“Let’s go.” He eventually spoke with a sigh, annoyed he had to spell it out to you. “I know a place that’s open.”

The place he was referring to was apparently a 24 hour diner placed just two blocks from the center. You’d never seen it before and this didn’t surprise you considering you rarely went anywhere besides practice and home and even more rarely ate out.

You weren’t exactly sure how you felt about eating out somewhere that seemingly only served classic American grease fest and milkshakes, but Sunghoon seemed comfortable and relaxed as he slid into the booth opposite you.

You were questioning now if you’d ever seen him look so casual. Sure, he was known to be friendly and he obviously was no stranger to jokes and teasing but if you saw him here any other time, you’d think he was just a regular student without a care.

This left a weird pit in your stomach considering the fact he wasn’t a regular student and neither were you, and acting like one wouldn’t do you any good when it came to your future or this competition.

Still your thoughts fizzled out when the older waitress wandered over to your table, pocketing her order book with familiarity as she looked at the boy sat across from you.

“Sunghoon, it’s been too long sweetie.” She was smiling brightly down at him and he was glancing at you with a half smirk, you almost sensed bashfulness in his expression. “Is this your girlfriend?”

It took you a second to realize she was referring to you, her warm motherly gaze falling to your side and cocking her head in anticipation for a response. Your mouth parted in surprise as you fumbled for an answer.

“She’s a friend.” Sunghoon rushed out before you could, awkwardly avoiding your gaze picking at the old chipped vinyl on the table. You furrowed your eyebrows at the use of the word. Was he just avoiding more questions or did he actually consider you two to be friends?

The waitress looked between the two of you with a quirked eyebrow and you felt slight annoyance at the teasing glint in her eyes, like she knew something you didn’t. You opted for staring at the table infront of you, watching Sunghoon’s anxious habit. She muttered something about getting his usual and then she was off back into the kitchen.

Sunghoon cleared his throat and you looked up at him from behind your hair. He was watching you, still with an air of awkwardness, and you once again noted how different he looked in this setting.

“Why are we here?” You automatically felt bad at the harshness in your tone and if it was anybody else you’d apologize or take it back. But you could tell that he understood you were frustrated and tired from practice and antsy about wasting time.

“Coach said we don’t have any chemistry.” He explained and you gave him a look that made him chuckle under his breath. He put his elbows on the table and leaned forward slightly. “I don’t know, I thought maybe we should try to have an actual conversation.”

“We have conversations.” You butt in, shaking your head like it was an obvious statement. You’d known the boy for almost your entire life, even if you were reluctant to admit it, you’d spoken to him more than most people you know.

“When’s my birthday.” His voice penetrated your line of thought and you looked back up at him, slightly shrinking at the question. “Do I have any siblings? Matter of fact, have you ever even seen me outside of the center?”

You were glaring at him as he spoke, although you couldn’t deny what he was saying. You wracked your brain for any counter argument, grasping at straws. “Three years ago I saw you at a 7/11.”

“Woah.” He raised an eyebrow at this and smiled down at you, looking slightly surprised when you offered a small smile back. “What was I doing?”

“Buying snacks.” You gave him a disapproving stare. You weren’t lying about this, much to your surprise you had caught him a few winters ago with two handfuls of restricted snacks and a jumbo soda balanced in his arm.

“And you didn’t rat me out?” He was definitely teasing but you still thought you heard a bit of surprise and truth in his words, like he genuinely expected you to run and tell on him. “Wait, why were you at 7/11?”

For a moment you considered lying, telling him you were getting pain pills or a protein bar but this new excited look on his face was silently urging you to lean into the openness of the conversation.

“Isn’t it obvious? I was buying snacks.” You leaned back in the booth and crossed your arms. A loud laugh pushed past his lips and your eyes widened slightly at the sound, more used to chuckles or scoffs.

His tired gaze softened on you slightly at your surprised expression but before he could speak or continue the conversation, a second waitress was returning with your food (two orders of Sunghoon’s ‘usual’).

You were staring down at the plate with a curious expression, slightly overwhelmed by the amount of food placed in front of you. You could feel his stare on you as you studied it and you lifted an eyebrow without looking up at him. “How do you practice after eating all this?”

He snorted another laugh and unraveled his silverware, leaning forward again to cut up your pancakes. You lifted your gaze to watch him as he did this, sleeves rolled up on his arms and eyes concentrated on his task. After finishing with the pancakes, and taking half for himself, he answered your question vaguely.

“Intensely.” His reply caused you to frown slightly and you were grateful for his habit of avoiding eye contact so he didn’t see the pity in your gaze.

It was no secret to anyone, and especially to you, that your sport was a tough one with intense practice and overall lifestyle. You’d spent more time than you’d admit worrying about the health of other kids you trained with and that included Sunghoon, who always seemed to be working ten times as hard as everybody else.

“How about once a week?”

“What?” He looked confused at your words and paused mid bite of his scrambled eggs, eyeing you with a question in his gaze.

“Once a week we eat here.” You explained, awkwardly toying with a piece of bacon in front of you. “Like… together.”

His silence was driving you crazy and you felt your heart rate increasing with each second that he didn’t respond to you, even with a rejection laugh or an awkward denial at your attempt to get closer. You reminded yourself that this was for the sake of winning and spared him a glance. He was watching you with a familiar smirk and you sighed softly.

“I knew you liked me princess.”

——

A few days had passed since the start of your new weekly ritual with Sunghoon, days full of practice and studying the demo video the two of you had scrapped together the week prior. You were watching it now and even though it was messy and unpolished, you felt semi proud at the way the two of you looked on the ice together.

Picturing it with more practice, the right facial expression and some competition level costumes and you were starting to understand why this was something people were looking forward to. And they definitely were.

Proven by the way a newspaper was smacked onto the ice infront of you, causing you to jump slightly before lowering the iPad and glancing at it to see a poorly edited photo of you and Sunghoon on the cover. You glared down at the paper and the latter mentioned laughed from above you.

“We’re the talk of the town.” You could hear the smile on his face and you pushed the paper away from you.

“I’m pretty sure we have actual photos together.” You mumbled. “Why did they edit it like that?”

You looked up in time to see him shrug and to also take in his attire. He was wearing a form fighting black turtleneck T-shirt that was tucked into his usual sport pants. Your gaze went down to his white gloves and he took notice of your stare, wiggling his fingers mockingly.

“Go change.” You frowned, standing up to reveal your similar outfit, only your shirt was white and your gloves were black, perfectly matching his in opposite colors.

He stared down at you with an annoyed expression and for a second you considered pushing him backwards on his skates, not liking that the toe of yours were nearly touching his. You decided against it at the thought he might trip and fall.

“Less talking, more practice.” You looked over at the new voice to see your coach, her hair messy from the snow outside as she unraveled her red scarf from around her neck. “Oh don’t you two look cute.“

You groaned at her comment referring to your matching outfits, turning and skating away from Sunghoon and over to where she was sitting along the sidelines. You vaguely heard the sound of his skates following behind you and you noted his lack of comment at her teasing remark.

“Did you see this?” You turned the paper towards her direction and she looked up in question, eyes brightening when she caught sight of what you were holding.

“Oh it’s wonderful.” She chirped out and you glanced back at Sunghoon, who mirrored your look of confusion. “It’s even better than I expected.”

“So you knew about it?” Sunghoon voice was closer than you expected it to be and you almost turned around and shoved him away before remembering your coach’s frantic need for you two to cooperate, and your deal made the other night. Still you weren’t quite used to his casual presence yet.

“Knew about it? I asked for it.” She explained and you gave her an incredulous look, shifting your eyes to the photo and bold headline.

Directly above the edited photo of the both of you, adorning crowns and a few photoshopped hearts between you was the large capital words, ‘ICE ROYALTY! ROMANCE ON ICE… AND OFF?’

You let a few beats pass as you stared at the cover, letting her get the read on your feelings towards the situation. “Why on earth would you do that?”

Sunghoon was clearing his throat behind you and you were grateful that he was seemingly going to add his two cents in, in agreement against the article. “I mean… it gets people curious.”

Your mouth parted and you spun around to face him, this time when your skates bumped into eachother you did push him slightly backwards. He seemed to be expecting it and glided a few inches away from you easily, his relaxed expression only adding to your annoyance.

“In what world do we need rumors and idiocy to win this?” You spat at him and his lip turned down for just a second before his eyebrows hardened. “We should be practicing not standing here talking about stupid fake headlines.”

“Oh but you seem pretty content storming out of practice whenever you get a little bit frustrated.” He spat back at you and you faltered for just a second, not expecting such anger directed back towards you. Overwhelmed, your mind shot straight to defense.

“Maybe because you’re impossible to be around.” You hissed towards him, fist clenched at your side. You both fell quiet and you shut your eyes for a second, willing him to say something back so your impulsive words weren’t left hanging in the cold air between you.

“That’s enough.” Your coach’s voice sounded tired but firm and you kept your eyes shut, regret seeping into your skin. You didn’t want to see his expression, regardless if it was hatred or hurt. “No practice for a few days, go home early.”

——

Not being on the ice was making your skin itch and your head feel like it was floating ten feet away from your body on a thin rope. You were thankful for the snow falling outside, accompanying you on cold walks and slightly keeping you grounded. It wasn’t often you had a break from practice and maybe there was times where this was all you wanted, but something felt heavy and wrong about the way things had occurred.

You felt even worse about what you had said to Sunghoon because you had meant it. Maybe not in the way he took, as a personal hit at his character, but definitely in the way that your competitive and insecure nature had crafted up your whole life.

It was almost impossible to be calm and in the right headset with somebody who seemed to be relaxed and carefree despite living the same life as you, you who could barely get through the day without multiple stress driven outburst.

Especially now, standing outside the diner, you realized how much better of a person he was than you. If he had said those words to you, you wouldn’t have shown up tonight. Maybe you would have even begged for a new partner or dramatically switched training halls.

But as you stood wrapped tightly in a thick jacket and a scarf, shaking from the cold and dark walk over here, you stared at the side of his face through the foggy window and took a deep guilty breath.

The entrance bell ringing as you pushed open the frosty door seemed louder than normal and so did the silence that screamed between the two of you as you sat down across from him. He didn’t look at you as you approached and for a moment you wondered if he only came to see if you would.

Then the waitress was circling around and placing a hot drink in front of you, offering you a small smile and a head nod. You managed a confused smile back at her but raised an eyebrow at the drink you didn’t order.

“It’s hot chocolate.” Sunghoon spoke and your eyes widened, shooting up towards him. He was watching you with a careful expression. “It’s cold and you don’t drink coffee.”

You wondered how he knew that about you, when he had observed you enough to have a fact that small stored away. You didn’t voice your confusion, giving him a small nod and taking off your gloves so you could wrap your cold hands around the warm mug.

“I can pull myself out of the competition.” You stopped mid sip as he started to speak, avoiding eye contact with you and fiddling with this thread of his fingerless mittens. “I guess I didn’t realize how hard of a time you were having.”

“I’m not.” You rushed out, immediately flushing at the loud volume of your voice. He looked shocked at your words, watching as you set down the mug carefully and put your elbows on the table. “I’m not having a hard time… well not because of you atleast. I shouldn’t have said that.”

He didn’t say anything for a bit and you were curious what he was thinking about, not for the first time you found yourself wishing he was not so nice, then maybe he’d have a burst of anger and lay everything on you. You wanted him to call you spoiled or rude, anything other than that soft look he was giving you.

“I’ve always had a hard time.” You don’t know where it came from, the sudden personal statement causing him to tilt his head in the terrible, genuinely curious way that he did. You felt an overwhelming sense that if you didn’t tell him something about you right now, that would be it.

“With me?” His eyebrow cocked and yours furrowed.

“No… or yes.” His lip quirked downwards and you hurried to finish your sentence before a repeat of the other day occurred. “Not because of you but because of me. Because I’m jealous of you and how good you are at everything.”

He seemed to take this in for a second before a scoff escaped his lips, the smile on his face letting you know it was semi lighthearted.

“You’re jealous of me?” His shock was genuine and he leaned back in the booth and sucked a breath in through his teeth. The loud hissing sound made you wince. “And all this time I’ve thought the same about you.”

“Oh whatever.” You mumbled, both not believing what he was saying and not feeling comfortable at the unfamiliarity of the back and forth compliment.

“I mean it.“ Something in the way Sunghoon said it made you want to believe him. “You’re like a natural out there. Living up to your title, if I do say so myself.”

“It doesn’t feel natural, and don’t forget who got the title first.” You felt a bit childish to be refusing his attempt at being civil, nice even, but that nasty insecure part of you wouldn’t allow you to take any compliments from him.

“Well I was excited to be paired with you.” He raised his shoulders in a shrug and you watched him carefully from under your eyelashes. He smiled at you awkwardly when you didn’t immediately respond and your lip jutted out into a pout.

“I’m sorry Sunghoon.” The words felt weighted and empty as you forced them out but you truly meant what you were saying and you hoped he could see that beneath your initial tone. He looked slightly taken back at the use of his first name.

Luckily, he nodded at you and leaned forward on his elbows again, pushing your mug back towards you with two steady fingers. You watched his hand as they came closer to your side of the table, feeling a bit embarrassed when the mug stopped infront of you, insinuating he wanted you to finish the warm liquid.

After a beat you glanced up at him and immediately dropped your gaze back down to the steamy cup at the smirk on his face, his fingers lingering for just a moment before retracting back to under the booth.

“Finish, we have work to do.”

——

“Exactly! That’s exactly it right there.” Sunghoon’s excited words barely registered to you over the sound of your loud panting.

You were leaned over, elbows on your knees and eyes closed shut in an attempt to catch your breath. You’d been going at it relentlessly the last few days, nearly perfecting the basic moves but still needing to add the flare the judges would be looking for.

Sunghoon and you had been getting along for the most part, small spurts of bickering and burst of frustration due to complicated moves but nobody has stormed out or lost any fingers, so it was a win in your book.

“Again.” He was chiming from a few feet away and you glared up at him from behind your sweaty bangs causing him to laugh before assuming his position on the floor.

You were slowly becoming used to it now, the close proximity, the faux romance on your expressions. You were a professional and that’s all this truly was, work. But you were feeling slightly childish about the way you couldn’t get use to his hands on you.

Telling yourself it was just awkwardness, maybe even lingering animosity you were holding that made your stomach turn every time his big hand wrapped it’s way around some part of you, you laid on the ice a few feet away from him.

You routinely rolled over top of him, movements robotic as you avoided looking down at him and he tensed slightly.

When it was his turn to do the same, he paused above you and you frowned, waiting for him to move off of you so you could ease into the next portion.

Instead he stayed in place, caging you in as he balanced himself on his forearms. For a second you thought about the core strength it’d require to hold a plank on ice before shaking your head and internally scolding yourself.

“You’re distracted.” He was saying above you and you felt his breath on your cheek, strongly opposing the cold ice your other one was pressed against. His voice was low and telling, not a question.

“No I’m not.” You scoffed, or atleast the best you could considering if you took a deep inhale your chest would press against his. “Maybe you’re distracted.”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you looked at him, still refusing to turn your head incase your noses touched. He was looking down at you intensely however and your stomach flipped again.

“I am.” His voice was firm but you looked at him just in time to see his eyes awkwardly shoot around your face, hesitation in his gaze.

You weren’t fully sure what he was implying and you definitely weren’t going to reply without him outright saying that it was you he was distracted by, the presumed humiliation making you furrow your eyebrows.

The thought crossed your mind that he was making fun of you, that he had someone noticed how hard it was for you to focus around him and was trying to bait a confession out of you.

You turned your head finally, not flinching at the way his nose bumped against yours or the sharp inhale he took at the sudden contact. You held his gaze for just a few seconds before starting to speak.

“Get off me Park.”

He faltered for a second like he wasn’t expecting that sort of response, body completely locking above yours before quickly rolling over onto his back next to you and awkwardly sitting up.

“I’m sorry.” He rushed out and you finally took a big breath before also sitting up and avoiding looking at him. He watched as you stood completely and you felt his eyes on you. “I don’t know why I said that Y/N.”

“It’s not a big deal.” You lied smoothly, keeping your voice steady and shrugging softly as you wiped off the ice shavings that was stuck on your leggings. He was still watching you and you heard him sigh in embarrassment.

“From the start?” He eventually muttered and you glanced over at him, shaking your head.

“I have to head out actually.” You tried to keep your tone casual but he looked pained, obviously not falling for your excuse and realizing you were leaving because of what he said. “First thing tomorrow?”

He didn’t say anything but you knew he had heard you and started to skate off the ice, face flushing with awkwardness as you finally took a breath and accessed what had just happened.

If you weren’t mistaken and he wasn’t pulling some sick joke on you, which judging by his mortified reaction you highly doubted that, Park Sunghoon had just attempted to make a pass at you.

Park Sunghoon who, for the better part of your life, had done nothing but drive you absolutely crazy with anger and jealousy. The same boy who thought it was funny to tie your laces together and watch videos of your failed jumps on the waiting rooms big screen.

You were absolutely sickened by the idea of it and even worse, the fact that the red painting your cheeks was not because of anger.

Storming out from the hall into the snowy night, your stomach was twisting again with what you now fully understood was not nauseation.

It was the stone cold realization that you liked Park Sunghoon.

—-

You hadn’t exaggerated on your call for early practice the next day, entering the hall before the sun had even risen yet.

It didn’t help you’d spend the entire night tossing and turning and screaming into your pillow as you replayed the scenario in your head over and over, analyzing every awkward second of silence or quirk of his eyebrows.

You’d come to the conclusion, at some point during your fourth hour of restlessness, that Sunghoon hadn’t been joking and he was absolutely attempting to flirt with you or at least was testing the waters.

This realization was nothing short of crippling and you almost considered not coming in today, making faking a cough or a sore throat. But the clock was ticking on your time to practice before the competition and with this added distraction, you needed all the time you could get.

So it was driving you a bit insane as the second hour passed and Sunghoon still hadn’t arrived to practice. You hadn’t entered the rink yet, anxiously sitting in the locker room with your skates half tied as you rocked your knees back and forth.

You imagined he would be embarrassed, maybe he hadn’t even thought before he spoke and it came across wrong, but for him to not show up at all was something you couldn’t accept.

Before another minute of waiting could pass you were pulling your phone out and doing something you’ve, somehow, never done before and texting him.

y/n : After all this and you aren’t going to show up? I don’t know about you but this is really important to me and I’m sick of the childishness.

You sent the message before you considered how harsh it was, leaning forward and groaning as your forehead hit your knee. Your phone was clutched to your chest as you waited for the buzz to signal he responded.

It never came and you felt your heart sink to your stomach, smushing its way past the irritation and anger you’d been accumulating the past hour.

You flung your skates off with a yell, wincing internally at the loud echoed bang of them hitting the metal seats that rang throughout the room. Standing swiftly, you stuffed them into your locker and slammed it shut before turning on your heel and going to leave.

In your fury driven urgency to get outside you didn’t peer around the corner before rounding it, resulting in you falling back against the floor as you smacked roughly into somebody approaching at the same time.

You let out another loud groan as you hit the floor, head striking the ground that was luckily covered in rubber mats designed for your skates blades. Still, a wave of pain washed over you at the force in which you fell.

“Fuck.” To make matters worse, you immediately registered as he spoke that it was Sunghoon you’d smacked into. He was leaning down to check you, a hand jutted out in an attempt to help you up. “I’m so sorry I’m late, something came up and-“

“I don’t care.” You cut him off in a snap causing his face to drop in guilt. You ignored his outstretched hand and pushed yourself to a standing position. “I’m leaving.”

“Y/N, I really am telling the truth.” He rushed out, eyes big and desperate. You glared at him and tried to move down the exit hall again, behind stopped by his large frame as he stepped sideways in your way.

“Whatever it is I can’t imagine it could be more important than practice.” You felt the irony in your words as you spoke them, wanting to wince at how similar you sounded to your mother but you were acting on anger.

He seemed to realize this now, deflating with a sigh and staring down at you with his sharp eyebrows pulled to the center of his forehead.

“Let me show you.”

——

You weren’t exactly sure how he had managed to get you here considering how hell bent you’d been on avoiding him or strictly practicing, nothing in between.

But somehow, half an hour later, and you were sat frowning in his passenger seat. Your arms were crossed in irritation and you were stiff and tight in the seat, resisting the urge to look around and analyze his car.

Truthfully you hadn’t even realized he knew how to drive, although it suddenly made sense considering you’d never seen a parent of his at the rink and he always was there at odd hours of the night without the cold bitten cheeks you typically had.

Sunghoon had a strong point when he said you didn’t know anything about each other, you knew it was truthful when he had said it but it was weighing on you now as you looked over at him as he drove.

He looked nervous, shoulders higher and more tense than they usually were but he was sat comfortably in his seat, only one hand on the steering wheel like he’d been driving for a long time. You wondered when he had learned, who had taught him or if maybe he’d taught himself.

You’d never thought of Sunghoon as lonely. He was always bouncing around competitions with a bright smile, chatting with judges and opponents and even with your own mother a few times.

You remember being 15, face red and puffy from the tears you’d shed after she’d given you a strict scolding in the bathroom after a low scale contest. He had approached afterwards, ready to throw some quick jabs and comments your way before seeing the look on your face.

Instead he had struck a conversation with her, making funny faces at you over her turned shoulder as she spoke in her familiar harsh tone. You remember laughing into your glove and then watching him as he walked away, trying to catch sight of his mom.

He seemed to know how to handle strict parents so you were curious if he was raised similarly, but you were just left confused as he left the rink by himself.

“See that right there,” Your mother had spoken in a low voice, leaning towards you on the bench. “Some parents don’t even show up to these things, you should be more grateful.”

You couldn’t stop thinking about that now as you pulled into a parking lot, blue hour was settling in now as the afternoon bled on. The drive was just over an hour but it was getting darker sooner in the day as you went deeper into the winter.

He sucked in a breath and you felt him look over at you like he was waiting for you to say something about where you were. You didn’t but you turned your head to meet his gaze, raising an eyebrow for an explanation.

It looked like he was considering giving you one for a second and then he changed his mind, taking his keys and getting out of the car. You watched him circle around to your side, opening your door for you and waiting for you to step out.

You silently followed him into the building, passing by a reception desk with a large man who gave Sunghoon a smile and a nod. You stared at his comfortable shoulders as he walked through the winding hallways with ease, clearly familiar with them.

The building resembled a hospital, dull colors and the buzzing of LED lights making your head spin slightly but the similarities between the people in the rooms you were passing told you what it truly was.

Sunghoon stopped infront of a room with a closed door and looked over at you, again like he was expecting you to speak. You didn’t and he eventually sighed and turned to open the door after a beat.

“Sunghoon? Is that you?” You stayed by the door, letting it close softly behind you, as he walked into the room and pulled back a privacy curtain that was hanging from a rod on the ceiling. You froze in place at the sight of the older woman in the bed, machines hooked around her with dull beeps and chimes.

“Yeah Nana.” His voice was lower than you’d heard it before and your eyes went to him as he softly lowered himself to sit on her bed. He glanced at you and waved a hand, signaling for you to come closer.

For a second you wanted to shake your head, to back track out of the room and wait for him down the hall. You didn’t understand why he would take you here, why he would show you this part of his life or what this meant.

But you let your feet fall forward and stepped into her view, breath catching when he outstretched a hand to grab your wrist and pull you closer at a faster pace. The feeling of his skin against yours combined with her questioning gaze made your face flush.

“Oh.” Her mouth parted in shock and you bowed your head slightly with a smile in greeting, not fully trusting yourself to speak. “You must be Y/N.”

Your eyes widened and you looked towards Sunghoon who had a similar expression, hanging his head so he didn’t have to meet your eye.

“You’ve heard about me?” You spoke softly, a louder volume feeling intrusive in the quiet room. The lights were dimmed low and the curtains were drawn giving the space a warm calm atmosphere.

“Oh he doesn’t shut up about you.” She was smiling at you and reaching out a shaky hand for you to take. You went to lift your left hand and felt the weight of Sunghoon’s on your wrist still, faltering and looking at him.

He looked embarrassed and confused, like he hadn’t even realized he was still holding onto you. He went to remove his grip but you twisted your hand and pulled his into yours, squeezing it tightly. You gave her your free hand instead.

It was a bit jarring to you and out of your element and you felt a bit of panic building in your throat. Being here was strange and Sunghoon being beside you was every stranger.

The weirdest part of all was the absolute care and adoration on this woman’s face, a strange you’d never seen before holding your hand with such delicacy. You felt yourself tear up slightly thinking how nice it must’ve been to grow up with such a person in your life.

You glanced at Sunghoon at this thought, you were still standing beside the bed holding both their hands while he sat and he was already looking at you. He seemed slightly taken back by your glossy eyes but he smiled at you warmly like he understood the reasoning.

And you were realizing now that he did.

It wasn’t the first time it had occurred to you that he was lonely but it was definitely the first time you really processed it. Maybe it was this new found care you had for him, this pull at your heart when you thought back to the boy with nobody to see his competition performances.

“Why are you back here sweetheart.” Sunghoon’s grandmas soft voice was speaking again and you glanced over at her, avoiding his eye contact when you felt his thumb rub the back of your hand.

You suddenly realized this was why he was late, obviously held up in a visit or maybe a medical emergency. Guilt hit you as you remembered your harsh tone and processed the fact he had driven the hour to practice and then turned around and brought you back here.

“I thought it was probably time the two of you met.” He lied naturally, squeezing your hand as if he was signaling for you to go along with it. You didn’t say anything, too busy wondering what all she knew about you, how long had you been a subject of conversation between the two.

You can’t imagine all the conversations were pleasant but her eyes held absolutely no sign of disdain or malice.

“You two must be so busy.” The soft croak in her voice made your stomach hurt and she shakily squeezed your hand causing you to do the same to Sunghoon’s in a ripple effect. You realized she was looking at you for a response.

“It isn’t too bad.” You assured her, smiling softly and you faintly heard Sunghoon scoff from beside you. You glared quickly at him and he lifted his free hand in mock surrender.

“I know it’s tiring.” His grandma was continuing and you looked back over at her, her eyebrows turning inwards. Her expression was shockingly similar to his and you let a heavy silence fall between the three of you.

You were once again wondering what type of things they talked about, if she was looking pained at the thought of her grandsons tiring lifestyle or if he had mentioned something about you and your own strict regimen.

It didn’t feel like the time to ask questions and you especially didn’t think you had the right to curiosity.

You’d shown Sunghoon a lot of coldness in the past few days despite his multiple attempts to get closer, and through that all he still had brought you to such an intimate personal place.

“I won’t keep you long.” Sunghoon and his grandma had been having a low voiced conversation while you were deep in thought but she was louder now, catching your attention and giving you a gentle knowing look.

You squeezed her hand one final time as a goodbye, not fully trusting yourself or your voice. Sunghoon was standing then, shoulder bumping against yours and you were overwhelming aware of the fact he was still holding your hand.

You welcomed it, feeling cold and bitter when the door opened to reveal the harsh white of the nursing homes lights that sharply contrasted Mrs. Parks yellow tinted room.

Without thinking you were pulling his arm closer, so your left hand was wrapped in his and your right arm was holding his sleeve against your chest, practically hugging his arm as you walked.

If the sudden closeness shocked him he didn’t show it, not making a move to remove you even as you passed back through the lobby and out the front doors.

It was darkening now despite it barely being 5pm, the short light of winter days making you colder than you’d ever been. The irony of the princess of the ice saying that didn’t miss you.

He paused when you reached his car and you felt him look at you. He was obviously trying to get a gauge of what you wanted to do considering you were glued to his side. You let him go reluctantly and walked swiftly to the passenger side before pulling yourself up into the car.

He was sitting down by the time you pulled your seatbelt on, starting the engine but not making any move to drive or fully situate himself. You imagined he was waiting for you to say something again and this time you didn’t want to disappoint him.

“She’s nice.” You felt pathetic as you spoke the words, nice not beginning to describe the situation or how you felt but you fell short like always when it came to affection.

Luckily he seemed to know exactly what you meant, something he did a lot you were realizing. He seemed to know when you were truly mad versus just tired and frustrated, he knew your distaste for coffee and he knew how to make you laugh despite your moms scolding.

You watched him as he nodded and tried to contain a fond smile for his grandma, biting his lip softly and forming a small dimple on his cheek.

“Do you come here a lot?” You were talking again and this seemed to take him off guard for just a second before he was neutralizing his expression like he was worried he’d scare you off.

“Everyday.” He was humming and leaning his head back against the seat, turning it lazily to look over at you. Your eyes followed up his jaw to his eyes just in time to see him quirk an eyebrow. “If I can.”

“And you talk about me?”

He snorted a laugh at your bluntness and the suggestion behind your words, eyes squeezing shut in a chuckle. You found yourself almost entranced studying his features.

“Not all the time princess.” The familiar pet name caused a similar reaction to normal, blood surging and stomach turning. You tried to ignore the fact it wasn’t driven by anger like it typically was, something much heavier replacing it now.

“But sometimes?” You pressed forward and leaned your elbow onto the middle console as the leather creaked under the weight. The noise caused his eyes to snap open and look at you, realizing you were closer now as you leaned in his space.

He hummed again and his eyes tracked down your face, similarly to the way you were studying him. “Yeah, sometimes.”

You didn’t say anything, a bit lost for words now that he was looking at you. It had never passed by you that he was handsome, probably the most striking person you’d ever seen in your life but without the usual cloud of anger fogging your mind, he was especially alluring.

“What do you say?” You voice came out as a whisper, almost falling forward from how far you were leaning on your elbows. He wasn’t moving in his seat, watching you unconsciously come closer with tired eyes.

He shrugged and lifted an eyebrow, hand falling forward on the middle console as he let a finger unravel and skim across your forearm.

“What do you say Sunghoon.” You ignored the goosebumps that his touch caused, questioning him further. You almost didn’t care about his answer anymore, you just wanted to hear him talk again.

His gaze hardened at the use of his first name, shifting in his seat but not turning his body to face yours. He kept his head turned towards you however, letting your breath fan his face every time you took a shaky exhale.

“Nothing bad.” He was speaking in a low tone, not fully paying attention to the conversation anymore.

“I want to hear though.”

“I wanna kiss you.” He tensed for a second as the words found their way out of his mouth without him meaning for them to. His shoulders relaxed seeing the way your mouth parted in shock.

You felt like a cold tidal wave had hit you as he spoke, face heating up and then more so when his eyes fell towards your open mouth.

A large part of you instinctively wanted to shut him down, wanted to lean back in your seat and tell him to start the car and prepare for the awkward trip back to the training center.

The other part of you liked the way he looked in a darkening car and less shallowly, liked how he smiled at you when you held his grandmas hand despite you letting out your frustration on him only hours earlier.

“That’s what you and your nana talk about?” You smiled at him as you spoke, a teasing tilt in your voice. Your smile only widened when he let out a breathy laugh and pressed his forehead against yours.

“If I kiss you right now will it ruin everything.” He was whispering and you were suddenly aware of how silent it was in the car, wishing for a low buzzing radio to fill the gaps.

“It might.” You whispered back to him and you felt him raise his eyebrows against yours causing your lips to jut out in a pout.

You felt his fingers dancing along your forearm again and you felt the sudden urge to hold his hand again.

“After we win the competition I’ll kiss you.” He sounded slightly pained in his words but you heard that familiar competitive fire that was typically directed towards you.

“Or you could do it now.” You felt slightly pathetic at the whine in your voice and he made it even worse by smiling at the sound of it.

“If I do it now we might not make it home.” He had a slight groan to his voice and your stomach flipped again.

You hastily shifted your arm off the middle console to fumble around for his hand, opting for wrapping your grip around his wrist again. He glanced down at it for a second before looking back up at you.

Slightly embarrassed, you felt your cheeks heating up at your actions but the warmth of his smooth skin was addicting now that you’d actually felt it outside of practice with skin tight clothes. Paired with his suggestive words and you were a goner when it came to common sense.

“How good is your self restraint?” You eventually opted for another teasing comment, not quite sure you were charming enough to directly respond to his comment without embarrassing yourself.

“When it comes to you?” His eyes flashed with something and you briefly wondered how long he’d been thinking about this or if it was as recent of a development as it was for you. “Terrible.”

“I want to… kiss you too.” You almost face palmed at your own words, how utterly stupid and childish they sounded. He had to have figured you didn’t know how to do this, he’d only spent your entire life seeing how busy you constantly were.

He smiled at you, a genuine toothy smile that made you want to scream in embarrassment. Luckily he didn’t seem to be making fun of you and was just genuinely amused by your awkward comment.

And he was. He liked seeing sides of you he’d only caught in passing, he liked that you were teasing back with him and not pulling away or snapping into fight mode at his presence. He especially liked the way your small hand was gripping tightly onto his wrist like you were so desperate to touch him, he wasn’t allowed to remove it for even a minute.

“We’ve gotta head back princess.” You could tell by the way he said that it was his final decision but you relished in the impatience in his eyes.

He leaned back in his seat again, leaving you leaned over the console still and short of breath before flopping back against the leather and waiting for him to pull out of the parking lot.

A few seconds of silence passed and you looked at him in question, raising an eyebrow at the fact he was looking at you in waiting. You followed the way his eyes looked down and saw his hand outstretched towards you.

You definitely were bright red now, looking away but taking his hand in yours as he finally started the drive back home.

—

He’d pulled up to the center after an hour of silence and shy hand squeezes. You were thankful for his silence, more than anything needing a bit of time to think about what had happened in the past few days.

It didn’t seem like it was weighing on him as much, he seemed nervous and excited but not as much thrown off as you felt. You wondered if there was a reasoning behind that or if you he was just really good at pretending to be casual.

You were terrible at being casual, further proved by the way you’re nearly choked as his hand found it’s way to the small of your back while leading you through the parking lot and into the building.

A week ago you would have thrown him off of you and said something about how you already knew the way in and didn’t need him to show you.

You thought about it for a second, just a small second, when you passed through the lobby and your coach came into view. She was practically blowing smoke as she caught sight of the two of you and started to shake her head in anger.

“Oh so now you show up.” She spat and you froze in place, step faltering at the aggressive way she was approaching. “You think you can just skip a whole entire afternoon of practice just because you’ve gotten some good scores in your career.”

Your frown was deepening and you felt the childish urge to curl in on yourself. You’d been in such a happiness cloud since this morning and you felt like you’d been pushed off a sharp cliff back into reality.

And she was absolutely right. It was stupid to skip practice even if it proved to be extremely important and beneficial to you.

“Watch what you say.” Sunghoon was spitting back at her and taking a small step forward, his hand sliding from your back to rest on your waist. Her eyes followed the movement but you couldn’t read her expression.

“Distracted.” She spat the single word, knowing the impact of it. Knowing that was the one thing you were not supposed to be, absolutely never allowed to be. “You’re fucking distracted.”

“And so what if she is.” You’d never heard Sunghoon so angry and you wanted to grab his shoulder and pull him back, wanted to calm him down so he didn’t get reprimanded too. “She’s spent everyday of her entire life focused on one thing, it was barely a few hours.”

“A few hours turns into more.” She was practically screeching now and a few other skaters were sending you apologetic glances and scurrying away. “This is a distraction”

You felt tears well up as she gestured between the two of you, a look of anger and disgust on her face.

“Aren’t you the one who paid for this.” You were confused what Sunghoon was referring to before you remembered the news article she had ordered. A surge of anger flashed through you at the reminder, the pure hypocrisy in what she was saying.

She could spin your love life however she pleased when it was beneficial to her and her career overview but forbids you from actually spending any time with anybody other than the ice.

You didn’t want to listen to her anymore, squeezing Sunghoon’s arm in an attempt to draw his attention away and calm him down. He didn’t look at you for a second, keeping his hard glare locked on her.

She wasn’t his coach so there wasn’t anything she could directly do to punish him. Nothing besides her ability to pull you from the pair skate or request a different partner for you, severely hurting your chances of winning and his yearly average.

“I told you about this.” Her voice was nearly a whisper with the way she hissed it through her clenched teeth. You thought she was talking to you for a second but she was holding Sunghoon’s gaze tightly.

Your hand fell from his arm in confusion, not understanding what she was referring to.

“I don’t give a fuck what you told me.” He spat back and took a small step back towards you again.

You took a step to the side before you even realized you were moving away from him, only processing it when he turned to look at you with a hurt expression. You felt guilty but something about the unknown of their words was leaving a heavy pit in your stomach.

“Y/N, we can talk about this later…. Alone.” Your coach was sighing and despite your anger with her you were glad she knew when to remove herself from a situation.

You held Sunghoon’s gaze as she walked off, presumably leaving the center. He spared a quick glance in her direction to make sure she was gone before looking back at you with that same expression.

“What’s wrong.” His voice was weak and confused, a sharp contrast to the way he was just throwing daggers at Suzy.

“What is she talking about?”

He seemed thrown off for a second, taking a second to think before understanding passed over his face. He took a step towards you, a hand jutted out in your direction. Your lips formed a frown but you took his hand and waited for him to speak.

“At the beginning of the season,” He cleared his throat and your stomach turned with nerves. Maybe she had instructed him to flirt with you, to attempt closeness with you for a better performance. “Before she officially picked me, she sat me down and told me I needed to keep my feelings out of it.”

“What feelings?” You shook your head in confusion, still not fully understanding. “Like with the way we fight? That doesn’t make any sense, wouldn’t she be happy to see us civil then?”

“It wasn’t about that.” He sighed and you watched his cheeks slowly redden as his eyes anxiously shifted to avoid looking at you. “She said she could tell I… was into you and she didn’t want me to become something you focused on outside of being your skate partner.”

You pondered the thought of what he was saying for a few beats of silence, almost feeling more confused at the explanation. If you were correct then he seemed to be insinuating existing feelings towards you, and enough for other people to notice.

“This isn’t how I wanted this to happen.” He sighed again and you felt his hand uncomfortably flex in yours. “All these years of working up the nerve I figured it would be some big romantic gesture.”

He was telling a joke but his voice lacked all humor, a hint of anger seeping in like his plans had been ruined.

“What the hell are you talking about Sunghoon.” Your voice was breathy and slightly irritated, sick of everybody’s vague wordings. “You sound like you’re inlove with me or something.”

Your scoff trailed off when he didn’t say anything. You had expected him to laugh at the thought, say a teasing remark or anything at all. He stopped looking around and watched you with a strange expression, like he was waiting for you to piece things together.

You felt your mouth parting softly and you slowly dropped his hands, he didn’t try to grab yours again and gave you your space as you tried to process what he was seemingly saying.

Park Sunghoon seemed to be insinuating, or atleast not denying the fact, that he was inlove with you and had been for more than a few years.

The thought of this made you feel sick and dizzy and you almost grabbed him for support as your knees weakened.

You weren’t quite sure if it was a good sick or a bad sick. On one hand you were excited, your newly discovered liking towards him and desperation to explore this new territory driving forward the giddiness you felt at the thought of him liking you back.

On the other hand you felt disgusted. Both at yourself for missing the signs, maybe spending years hurting him with your rude comments and refusal to learn anything about him. But also at him for not telling you or even hinting it from what you could see, half the fights you’d gotten in throughout the years had been started by him.

“Since when?” Your voice came out stern and his eyes creased at the way your face scrunched up in confusion and anger.

He was shaking his head and taking a step towards you, immediately backtracking when he realized he had done so. You were watching him and waiting for a response that you weren’t sure was coming considering he was starting to look pained at the thought of telling you.

“It doesn’t matter.” He proved you right as he continued to shake his head. “It’s not a distraction, you only knew because I fucked up the other day at practice.”

“That was a fuck up?” You scoffed at him, anger making you ignore the fact that he was right and you yourself had treated it like he made a mistake.

“It shouldn’t have happened like that. I waited all this time it was selfish for me to do it now, I don’t know why I did.” He was trying to explain himself but it was just confusing you further. “I just couldn’t help myself, I don’t know, being around you like this is making me feel crazy.”

He was talking like a lovesick teenager and your stomach was lurching at the fact that might just be the case.

You don’t understand how he hid it so well, or even when he had started to realize his feelings and plan to keep them a secret. Why would he put himself through such a thing for so long and then risk it all by accepting to be your partner.

A wave of guilt washed over you again as you raked through all your memories with Sunghoon with this new added knowledge. He must’ve been so hurt while pretending like he didn’t care that you were so mean to eachother.

“Please tell me since when.” You tried to soften your voice, your anger not even directed at him in the first place just the circumstance.

“I don’t know.” His voice broke when he said it like it was a question he’d asked himself a dozen times. He took a big breath and deflated. “Probably since the first time I saw you with your little pink skates, who knows.”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds and were suddenly hyper aware that you were having this conversation in the middle of the lobby, tears brewing in your eyes as your hands started to shake.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Sunghoon’s voice was desperate and earnest, like he felt guilty for falling inlove with you which made you feel ten times worse about the whole situation.

“Will you take me home?” You looked up at him with wet eyelashes just in time to see shock pass over his face. He clearly wasn’t expecting such a casual conversation change, especially one that entailed you spending more time alone together today.

Still, he softened as he looked at you and nodded his head slowly like he was waiting for you to change your mind. You both stood still even after his agreement, in a slight daze from the intense emotions you’d been feeling. He nodded again, more to himself this time, and you felt his hand against the small of your back starting to lead you back outside.

Neither of you spoke when you felt the cold air outside and still when he opened the passenger door for you and helped you climb into seat. He watched you for a second before closing the door and circling the car to get into his own spot.

It felt dramatically different in the space than it had only a few hours before, the giggly excited tension replaced with silence and heavy air. You were so out of it you didn’t even notice he didn’t ask for directions to your apartment.

When you realized you’d been driving for a few minutes you were confused, wondering when he had learned the way to your place, before realizing you weren’t heading in the direction you’d normally come from.

You immediately figured he was taking you to his house instead and for some reason you didn’t want to object. Despite being confused and angry and feeling slightly betrayed at this kept secret, you were comfortable and familiar in his presence and almost felt addicted to being around him.

Besides you know that there was nothing this warm and caring waiting for you back home. If your mother was there at all, she was bound to throw a massive fit over you missing practice.

It was worrying to you that you couldn’t find a single piece of care inside of you about missing practice. If anything, your chest was light and airy underneath all the pain and you weren’t sure it’d ever felt this stress free in your life.

You were slowly understanding why you were never given a break, why a day off was unacceptable. Maybe they were fearful you’d fully realize how much better you’d feel without this force of pressure and expectation.

Sunghoon wasn’t the reason you were distracted, at least not from the competition, and once you were able to speak again you wanted him to understand that.

Eventually you were pulling up to an apartment building, similar to yours but slightly on the other side of town. Sunghoon was looking over at you again, waiting for a sign you were ready to get out of the car.

You opened your own door and briefly saw him nod from the corner of your eye, unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping outside back into the bitter air.

You awkwardly followed behind him as he unlocked the main set of doors with a keycard, walking down a long plain hallway until he stopped at a door with a small penguin welcome mat infront of it. He looked at it and then back at you and he seemed pleased at the amusement in your eyes.

When he unlocked the door you were suddenly hit with the fact you were about to see where he lived and quickly wondered who he lived with. You weren’t sure you were ready to hold an awkward conversation with his parents about why you were going in their sons room.

You realized immediately upon walking in, however, that that was not the case at all. The apartment was comfortable but small, far too small to house a family even if he had no siblings. You watched him kick his shoes off into a slot in the empty rack and hang his keys up on the singular hook.

He started down the entrance hallway before stopping when he realized you weren’t following behind him. He looked over his shoulder at you and tensed up at the sad expression on your face.

“What?” The tone of his voice told you that he already knew what you were thinking without you having to say it.

“I didn’t know you lived alone.” You tried to keep the pity out of your words, a casual tone coming off awkward and deliberate.

He scoffed at your attempt and for a moment you were reminded of who exactly you were standing here with, a glimpse of the familiar rival you were more used to startling you slightly.

He didn’t say anything in response, just waving a hand to signal for you to move into the main living space. You followed quickly after removing your shoes, taking in the larger room with widened eyes.

Something about it was very Sunghoon, despite being plain and quiet. The yellow toned lights and CD’s on the coffee table catching your attention as you shuffled into the warm room.

“You seemed out of it.” He was starting from behind you. He didn’t sound close but a chill ran through you at the thought of him watching you. “I didn’t feel right bringing you home alone, I hope that’s okay.”

You turned to look at him and your heart tugged at his sad tired expression. He was looking at you intensely, you figured it must be weird to see you in such a familiar setting. You jutted a hand out in his direction and he looked down at it with surprise.

“I didn’t want to go home.” Your voice was low and soft, the silence of the room outside of the heater running was reminding you of his grandma’s and it felt wrong to have a higher volume.

His head cocked slightly but he took your hand in his, letting out a shaky breath when you squeezed it tightly and pulled on his hand so he’d come closer to you. He was standing far away so your arms were stuck straight out, like he wasn’t sure he was actually allowed to touch you.

You tugged him again and he stumbled closer to you, his big hand instinctively coming to rest on your waist and then falling again in a haste. You frowned at his reaction and then realized he must be feeling confused.

“What are you thinking about?” You kept your voice quiet and soft and he looked down at you with that same pained expression. You let go of his hand and put both of yours flat on his chest, feeling the way his heart beat raced and hiccuped.

You were once again impressed by his ability to mask how he felt, if you weren’t looking at him so intensely or touching him, you’d have no idea he was feeling this upset.

“I don’t know.” He whispered and he sounded honest. His hand hesitatingly went back to your waist, feeling awkward at the way his arms dangled at his sides while you touched him.

“I want to be here.” You felt the sudden urge to reassure him on this despite not being sure if that’s what was bothering him or just the situation in general.

“For how long?” Frustration laced his words and you didn’t understand for a few seconds. First you assumed he meant how long you wanted to stay but you quickly realized he was asking how long you’ve wanted to be around him.

You felt guilt creep up considering you weren’t sure what answer to give him because you weren’t even sure yourself when things had changed for you. You don’t think it was a sudden dramatic realization after he tried to flirt with you like you originally thought.

Thinking back on your life now, Sunghoon and this rivalry has been the most consistent thing you’ve ever known. You’d search for him at competitions and you’d spend weekends thinking about what insults to throw at him next time you saw him.

This could’ve been a childish fued, maybe even bordering on actual dislike sometimes, if it wasn’t for everything else.

You were no stranger to finding him attractive, bitterly acknowledging it every time you saw him. You remember when you were entering your teens and he was shooting up in height and his features were sharpening, scrolling his instagram at the time and scowling at photos of him surrounded by similarly attractive people.

You thought back to staring at his hands in the diner and the fondness you felt watching him juggle an armful of forbidden snacks in that 7/11. A fondness that left you so dazed you had completely forgotten to act as an enemy and rat him out to the coaches.

As hard as it was to admit, even to yourself, you weren’t ice skating because it was your passion. It didn’t get you out of bed in the morning or light a fire under your skin in excitement. You did it because it was what people wanted for you and because you liked to win, you liked how people talked about you when you won.

Sunghoon was a breath of fresh air from the pressure, he never cared if you won or lost, in fact he didn’t want you winning half the time.

He didn’t talk to you like you were a project, a robot prodigy who didn’t have room for love or care and he didn’t walk on eggshells around you like you were some royal princess needing only the best treatment.

You wouldn’t sit here and tell Sunghoon you knew how he’s felt all these years, you wouldn’t lie and say you’d been pining over him too and it has always been set in stone for you but a large part of you feels like maybe you knew it all along.

“I can’t say.” You answered honestly even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “But I am here now Sunghoon.”

You felt his hands tensing against your sides, instinctively squeezing like he was worried you’d disappear now. You wanted to ask him the things you should have years ago, you wanted to know why he lived alone and how long he’s come back to this empty room after hours of hard practice.

You felt guilty again for missing the signs. His familiarity at a random diner, clearly frequently there alone. Always being at the rink at random times like nobody was expecting him home or worried he was overworking himself.

Another part of you was relieved now, holding this knowledge tightly with the determination to change this and be there for him regardless if you yourself were considering not returning to the ice.

“I should’ve told you sooner.” He was saying and shaking his head. It was strange seeing him so self deprecating.

“You told me now.” You affirmed and one of your hands slid up his chest to hold his face, making him look at you and see the sincerity in your eyes. “I know now and I didn’t go anywhere.”

He nodded and you were worried he was going to cry, eyes shaking as he looked down at you and leaned into your touch against his cheek.

So you did the one thing you could think of, the thing you were practically craving only a few hours earlier, and you surged forward on your toes to kiss him.

He was taken back by your sudden proximity, tensing up when he felt your lips against his and then more so when you rocked back onto your flat feet and awkwardly waited for him to say something.

His mouth parted a few times like he was going to speak but after a second or two passed his eyes were hardening with that familiar determination and he was kissing you.

Kissing you with a desperation of somebody who’d been thinking about it for a long time, hands sliding behind your back to pull you closer and tighter against him.

You smiled against him, his mouth sliding against yours as he kissed you deeper. Your hand that was on his face went to his hair and you felt a shudder run through him at the feeling.

He pulled back to look at you, pressing his forehead against yours like he did in the car and breathing heavily as he looked down at you.

“I love you.” He rushed it out like it was his only chance to say it and then immediately shut his eyes tight like he was embarrassed. “You don’t need to say anything back I just needed to finally say it out loud to someone other than my grandma.”

“Are we going to talk about your grandma everytime you’re about to kiss me?” You laughed and he smiled at you, squeezing your front against him.

“No definitely not.” And he kissed you again.

——

The next week was probably the most stressful of your entire life, which was pretty impressive considering how your childhood and early adult years were basically one big intense competition.

Having to tell not only your coach for the last decade that you were quitting, but also your mother, was probably scarier than any stunt you could attempt.

Coach Suzy, as it turns out, seemed to be expecting it and told you that she was planning to retire once this year’s competitions were over. She apologized for being so harsh on you at times and especially for losing her temper due to her own stress and insecurities.

You forgave her and wrapped her in a tight hug but you could feel Sunghoon glaring at her from behind your back.

Sunghoon had been beyond helpful during the process, both legitimately with the paper work it required and removing yourself from data and emotionally. It wasn’t easy to admit to yourself you were done doing the only thing you’d ever been good at.

“You’re good at lots of things.” He was telling you for probably the tenth time this week. You were laying in his bed, hand in his as he played with your fingers.

You’ve learned a lot about him with all the time you’ve been spending, not everything of course but every new bit of information was exciting to you. You liked seeing him in different moods and settings, this one being your favorite.

You liked him best like this, his now dark hair messily splayed against his pillow, still smelling like sleep and the coffee on his bedside table. You liked the way his fingers sleepily played with the shirt you were wearing, which was of course his, and tugged on it.

“Yeah but I don’t know what.” You were sighing and rolling onto your stomach so you could look at him directly

He was smiling at you with a lazy toothy grin, sitting up just a little against the headboard to be able to see your face better. He leaned his head back and shrugged.

“You never had a chance to be good at something else, it doesn’t mean you’re not princess.” You flushed at his casual words and he noticed, leaning down to kiss your head and laugh. “I knew you liked that.”

“Shut up.” You were grumbling and resting your chin on his chest once he sat back again. “Maybe I did a little but I almost gagged the first time it made me blush.”

He was letting out a throaty laugh and you felt your face vibrate as his chest moved making you laugh quietly with him. He looked pretty like this and you liked the way his dark hair looked, having gone so long without seeing it.

Your tired laughs naturally died down and you turned your head so your cheek was on his chest instead, feeling him breathe and listening to his heart pick up in speed every so often.

“Will you come with when I talk to my mom?” You weren’t embarrassed at the childish hint in your voice, knowing he’d understand why this was way scarier than the other parts.

“Anything for you.” He was still smiling at you but he sounded serious, hand in your hair now as he played with it and kept it out of your face.

It made your stomach flip when he said it because you knew he meant it. He’d been beyond caring and helpful even letting you stay with him, doing quick stops at your apartment after you’d made sure your moms car wasn’t around so you could get some clothes and necessities.

He didn’t seem to mind the company at all, always smiling at you in the mornings and when he came home from the rink to the sight of you on his couch watching a movie or doing the dishes in the kitchen.

He’d even taken you to see his grandma a few more times. He really did mean it when he said he went every day, only missing a single night when it all hit you and you couldn’t stop crying. You felt awful the next morning he’d stay with you and begged him to apologize to her for you when he asked you to come along.

She had a soft knowing smile when you walked in behind him, patting her bed for you to sit and giving you advice on what to say to your mother.

“She’s your mother honey, she’ll love you no matter what you choose to do.” She had whispered to you and you felt your heart crack with the knowledge that wasn’t quite true.

“Her moms a lot like dad.” Sunghoon was mumbling from behind you, he was standing with his hands on your shoulder as you sat on the bed. You weren’t quite sure what that referred to but his grandmas mouth parted in understanding.

“Then there’s nothing you can do.” Her sharp flip in opinion made you glance back at Sunghoon. He gave you a look like he would explain later and you hesitantly looked away. “You can’t live for her, there’s no right there. You need to live for yourself and accept that relationship as a loss.”

You were replaying her words in your mind on a loop as you stood outside your door, suddenly feeling like a stranger who needed to knock before entering. It was never homely but this was the first time you truly realized how cold it felt here.

You knew Sunghoon was right behind you, giving you some space incase you were overwhelmed or felt like you needed to change your mind, but you reached your hand back for confirmation and took a deep breath when you felt his warm hand in yours.

Waiting with baited breath, your knuckles stung from the knocks against the door. You were bouncing your foot anxiously and counting each second before she opened the door.

For just a split second you saw shock and relief pass over her face before it was twisting up in anger and disgust.

“How dare you come here?” She was spitting towards you and you wanted to flinch back away from her, holding your resolve and letting her finish her comments. “And with him of all people.”

When she turned her murderous gaze towards Sunghoon, something was set off in you and you stepped to the side to block him from her view with a glare. She seemed taken back by this, used to you being paralyzed by guilt and fear.

“If you’re here to apologize I don’t want to hear it.” She hissed at you after the shock passed, her anger only building now at your defiance.

“I have nothing to apologize for.” You spat back at her, stuttering slightly with anxiousness. You felt Sunghoon squeeze your hand in his and take a step closer to you and you took a deep calming breath before continuing with a stronger tone. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m here to get my stuff and then we won’t have to see each other again.”

You weren’t sure where this came from, not having made any plans with Sunghoon to stay with him longer. A wave of insecurity hit you at the idea you were overstaying your welcome and he was going to deny you, leaving you with no choice but to find somewhere else to stay with. You had some distant family but you can’t imagine they’d be too ecstatic about taking on an adult with no job.

“And where on earth are you planning to go.” Your mother did what she did best and caught sight of your insecurity, magnifying it with a knowing sneer. “Nobody will want you, ‘ex prodigy’ won’t get you in anywhere.”

“She’s staying with me.” Sunghoon’s voice came from over your shoulder and you felt his front press against you, his hand on your shoulder to steady you. He was having a hard time seeing you like this, anger surging through him as he watched you go weak from fear.

“I want her and she can stay for as long as she needs to. We are just here to get her stuff, like she’s already told you.” His voice was hard and dark, your moms eyes flashing up at him with angry eyes as he spoke so firmly.

She didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you almost thought she’d turn you away and leave you with absolutely nothing to your name. Eventually, however, she took a step to the side of the doorway and waved the two of you in.

Sunghoon gave you a loaded glance once you were in your living room, you nodded at him and he made his way down the hall to your room while you stayed back with your mother.

“I see he knows his way around.” She scoffed at you and glared at his back as he walked away.

“It’s my house too.” You muttered back at her. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“He ruined you.” She barely let you finish your sentence before she was snapping at you, a finger being raised and pointed in your face. “This is all his fault.”

“This is your fault.” You felt tears well up in your eyes again and shook your head. “If you stopped being a coach and tried being my mother for just one second you would’ve realized that before it was too late.”

“You think he’ll keep you around?” She was twisting her face with a nasty sneer as she took another step towards you. “Regardless how I feel about him, that boy is talented. You think he’ll want you even when he’s an Olympic winner and you’re working a part time job?”

You knew she was wrong, that everything she was saying was so out of Sunghoon’s character and would disgust him just at the thought. But her ability to look into the deepest part of you and see your darkest fears caused you to tense up.

“He loves me.” Was all you could bring yourself to say, willingly him to hurry up and come back out here so the two of you could leave already.

“Yeah, love.” She laughed at the word like the idea of anybody loving you was ridiculous. “You don’t think I loved you? You think this was all for me… that I wanted to be a mean coach.”

She didn’t seem to notice her own contradictions, calling herself your coach right after saying she had loved you. She was getting angry again, wanting to continue this argument and prove you wrong. You were exhausted of it, knowing what Sunghoon’s grandma said was completely right.

“You didn’t love me.” Your voice was firm and certain, leaving no room for denial. “But not because of anything I did wrong.”

You saw Sunghoon over her shoulder, waiting in the hallway with a few boxes and a backpack over his shoulder. He was trying not to listen in on your conversation but also seemingly ready to step in.

He caught your eye and you smiled at him, despite your teary eyes, he could tell you felt relieved and that you were ready to move on from this part of your life. There was no right path here, and in skating, and that was okay.

Your mother didn’t say anything else, not even when he came over to you or when you held the door for him so he didn’t drop any of your boxes. She didn’t close the door after you’d left and you didn’t look back at her as she watched you get in his car and drive away from the only home you’d known.

“I don’t actually have to stay with you if it’s not okay.” You were whispering while he drove. “Thank you for saying it though, saved me from a lot of embarrassment.”

He looked over at you like you’d gone crazy, frowning and shaking his head. He was taking a hand off the wheel and grabbing your still shaky one that was resting on your knee.

“Of course you can stay with me princess.” His voice was serious but warm and you squeezed his hand in yours, suddenly overwhelmed with care and affection.

Maybe not the only home.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #sunghoon enhypen #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon angst #sunghoon ice skating #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon smut #sunghoon

[makeste]

Plus One For All

so guys. can we talk about how there’s somebody chilling out inside of Katsuki’s mind who’s not supposed to be there.

hello there Mister All Might Vestige sir. you should not exist, just FYI. you’re not some Nighteye-type plot hallucination. because if you were, you would not be appearing here as Cloud Might, a version of yourself whom Katsuki has never met and has no frame of reference for. ergo he did not imagine you. ergo you are, in fact, real.

which means Katsuki has One For All.

because that’s the only way he could have a Vestige -- which is indisputably what this is -- inside of him. he has OFA. so. where did he get it. how does he have it. and why is it only making its presence known now.

let’s discuss.

okay so I’m going to try and lay this all out as clearly as possible while also attempting to be as succinct as I can. but knowing me, I’m probably going to wind up sacrificing the latter in pursuit of the former. I’ll do my best though. here goes.

1. Heroes Rising is canon.

which is a fact we’ve recently been reminded of not once, but twice -- first with the appearance of Katsuma and Mahoro in chapter 405, and then in chapter 406 with the “Bakugou no Kacchan” callback. the timing of this almost certainly isn’t coincidental. Horikoshi wants this to be fresh in our minds.

mind you, it is extremely unusual for movies, even technically!canon ones, to actually be relevant to the plot. but BnHA may be one of the few exceptions. we’ve already seen movie 1 impact the series both with Star & Stripe’s backstory, and with Deku’s new gauntlets. so there’s precedent, and it’s something I am paying very close attention to.

2. Deku giving OFA to Bakugou is canon.

just in case anyone here hasn’t yet seen or been spoiled for Heroes Rising, that is in fact what happens in that film! so yeah, that certainly seems like an extremely relevant detail right about now.

3. we never found out why and how Deku got OFA back at the end of the movie.

okay so I was looking for a clip to link before we discuss this next part, but I unfortunately couldn’t find one that hadn’t been edited to avoid copyright issues, so you’ll just have to make do with this.

skip ahead to about 7:10 for the relevant part. for the purposes of this theory, we’re just going to ignore everything All Might says here, because tbh he has no fucking clue what’s actually going on and is just guessing wildly lol. however, I do want you to take note of one thing which will be important later. and that’s the fact that, when OFA “returns” to Deku’s body, it’s only his body which starts glowing, and notably not Kacchan’s. the latter just keeps lying there unglowingly. nothing to indicate any kind of transfer is actually happening between him and Deku, in other words.

moving on.

4. OFA and AFO are probably the same quirk.

as summarized here and here. which is relevant because if they are the same quirk, or close to it, then OFA can most likely do anything AFO can do. so file that away for later.

5. AFO was able to split his quirk and give it to Tomura while still keeping a piece of it for himself.

what’s more, he was able to do the same with Garaki/Ujiko’s quirk, and presumably other quirks as well. while it’s possible that this quirk duplication has nothing to do with AFO and is simply something Garaki was able to figure out using ~*~Science~*~, I think it’s more likely that the two of them used AFO’s quirk in some way to accomplish this feat. particularly since Tomura not only received AFO, but a bunch of its stored up quirkdata as well, such as the information stored in Ragdoll’s stolen Search quirk.

6. OFA responds to Deku’s feelings and desires.

or at least this is the case according to Banjou in chapter 213. recall this interesting conversation on how Deku first activated Blackwhip.

he was thinking that he wanted to capture Monoma, and so OFA obediently activated his “capture Monoma” quirk. despite him being unaware he even had said quirk. it responded to his need, even though he wasn’t consciously trying to activate anything.

now then, let’s revisit that scene in Heroes Rising one more time.

7. during the climax of Heroes Rising, Deku was NOT thinking, “I need to give OFA to Kacchan.”

here’s the scene one more time for reference. this time you’re gonna want to skip to about 3:57.

here’s where we are going to get extremely technical, because this scene right here is the key to everything. Deku’s lines in this scene are, and I quote: “a way we can protect [everyone]... there’s just one way...!” but he very notably does not specify exactly what that “one way” is.

until we get to this scene a minute or so later, which spells it out for us very clearly.

two One For Alls. as in, “with two One For Alls, we could win this battle and save everyone.”

that’s what he was thinking at the moment of the “transfer.” NOT, “give OFA to Kacchan.” but, “we need two One For Alls.”

which, I think, may have made all the difference.

8. OFA created a copy of itself to share with Kacchan, so that both of them could have OFA and use the two OFAs to defeat Nine.

let’s recap. OFA is AFO. AFO can clone itself. so it stands to reason that OFA can presumably clone itself as well. and that’s exactly what Deku wanted to do. make a second One For All.

he didn’t know that he could do that. but as previously established in the Blackwhip incident, OFA is more than capable of making its own executive decisions in key moments just like this in order to help him out.

which would mean that what we saw at the end of Heroes Rising was not OFA being transferred from Bakugou back over to Deku. it was actually just Deku’s OFA briefly self-activating (possibly in response to his delirious apology to All Might -- kind of a “no worries bro, you’ve still got your quirk actually, so go back to sleep and stop stressing over it” type of thing). and Kacchan’s OFA doing... absolutely nothing. it didn’t actually transfer back into Deku. it didn’t actually go anywhere.

let me repeat that: it didn’t actually go anywhere.

in other words, Kacchan still has OFA. and has had it ever since Heroes Rising. he just didn’t realize it. and neither did anybody else.

9. Kacchan’s OFA went dormant once Nine was defeated.

okay, so. remember all of this exposition from chapter 304?

basically, if someone who already has a quirk receives OFA, using it will slowly destroy their body until it kills them. the Vestiges learned this from All Might while he was researching the past generations of OFA in chapter 241, incidentally. Heroes Rising takes place right around this same time (immediately following MVA if I recall). so by the time the film’s climax rolled around, the Vestiges would have known that giving OFA to Kacchan could have devastating consequences down the line if they did not take action immediately after the fight.

so they did.

once Nine was defeated, the Vestiges shut the whole thing down. the crisis was averted, and they no longer had need of a second OFA. they have this boy who is way too similar to Deku in terms of his willingness to put himself in harm’s way in order to achieve his goals. and they absolutely do not want any harm befalling this boy. more on that momentarily.

so they go dark. and they even seal his memory so that he’s no longer aware of even having the quirk. they are essentially in sleep mode. and if circumstances hadn’t eventually become desperate enough to force their hand, they might have remained inactive for the rest of Katsuki’s life.

now, you might be wondering to yourself, “why is OFA willing to go to such unusual lengths in order to protect Katsuki?” and well, the answer to that is pretty simple.

10. Kacchan does not have the same version of OFA as Deku.

Deku is ninth gen. Katsuki, however, is tenth gen. which means that his version of OFA has one additional Vestige. a Vestige whose presence immediately explains why OFA is so goddamn determined to protect him at all costs.

:’)

long story short, while Deku’s version of OFA has proven itself all too willing to enable him in his increasingly suicidal mission, Katsuki’s version of OFA is very much a different story, on account of it being under the management of what I’m guessing is the most willful Vestige ever to exist. and said management being just the slightest bit unhinged when it comes to Katsuki’s safety in particular. seriously, you can’t tell me this is not exactly how a Deku!Vestige would behave. “oh hell no. no OFA for you!! and no memories either, because you can’t be trusted, goddammit. we never should have done this. what the hell were we thinking. if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

so yeah. dormant.

right up until they literally couldn’t afford to be anymore.

11. OFA can self-activate in moments of crisis to protect its user.

Sports Festival. chapter 33. Deku vs. Shinsou.

aw yeah. it’s all coming together.

12. OFA reactivated itself in order to save Katsuki’s life.

I would now like to briefly draw your attention to this scene from chapter 405, in which Edgeshot explains how Katsuki was finally saved. please note my man is very clear that he did not restart Katsuki’s heart himself. he was basically just performing quirk CPR up until Katsuki’s own quirk returned him to life apropros of nothing.

“what brought you back... was the power you’ve honed.”

except... that should have been impossible. because Katsuki was dead. meaning he should not have been able to activate his quirk on his own, on account of the whole “being dead” thing.

however, if he by chance had a quirk with just enough of a mind of its own to activate in critical situations in order to help its user. situations like being forced under mind control. or, perhaps, being stabbed through the heart. well then. that would certainly go a long way towards explaining all of this.

and oh hey, when exactly was it that we saw this guy, again?

oh? it happened at the exact moment when his heart was stabbed through? you don’t say. well that certainly is interesting.

in summary:

Deku cloned his quirk in Heroes Rising and gave Kacchan a copy of OFA. owing to the hyperprotective Deku!Vestige inside Kacchan’s copy of OFA, it shut itself down once Nine was defeated, and all of Katsuki’s memories of having OFA were deliberately wiped, or sealed away. OFA itself remained inactive until TomurAFO stabbed Katsuki through the heart, at which point OFA was forced to reactivate itself to save his life. which it did, by forcibly restarting his heart.

that’s it. no idea how close to the money any of this is, but I think it would explain most of the lingering mysteries and questions about what exactly is going on with Katsuki. and I’ll throw in one last observation as well -- Katsuki has a nine in his name (BaKUgou), but not a ten. which I know sort of contradicts what I was saying earlier about him being the tenth gen, lol. but he both is and isn’t. if Deku split his quirk, Kacchan would in theory receive everything that’s currently in Deku’s quirk right now, and that includes Deku’s own power that he’s been adding to the mix. so he’d still have the Deku!Vestige. but he’s also still ninth gen, because he and Deku are sharing that distinction now. or at least I think the argument could be made at any rate.

so yeah. I’ve been obsessing over all of this for the past few days lol. what do you guys think?

#bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #one for all #bnha meta #bnha theory #bakugou meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #it's also possible that I put way too much thought into this and in actuality katsuki is just using the OFA embers #or something else along those lines #we'll see lol #but in the meantime it's fun to speculate

[angelfacedelrey]

Unloved ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

luke castellan x aphrodite!reader

summary: luke confesses some his stuggles to you, then you confess some of yours to him.

words: 1.7 k

!! MAJOR ed tw !!

a/n: this is just me venting about my ed lol. this is my first fic so please be nice <3

There was something off about Luke. You could tell the moment you saw him. Even though you’ve only been dating for 4 months now, you know when something is wrong. During the party that the Dionysus kids insisted they threw (for pretty much no reason), he wasn’t his usual smiley and outgoing self. He seemed reserved and quiet. You were outside the dining pavilion talking to some other kids from camp. In the glow of the torches, everyone was laughing and having a good time except for him. You weren't either, but you tried to look like you were. Your arm was wrapped around his as you leaned against him and listened to the conversation, though you couldn’t focus on what they were saying. You kept glancing up at Luke every minute or so to see if he looked any happier (he never did). 

After the conversation fades out, you pull him away to a quiet area and whisper to him, “Luke, are you okay… you seem… off.”

He sighs and looks away for a second before answering, “Let’s talk by the lake.” 

Anxiety grows in your stomach. What could this mean? You just nod as he grabs your hand and takes you to the lake. The water is pitch black in the night and there is a chill in the summer air. He lets go of your hand and looks down to see your face. 

“I’m sorry… there’s just a lot going on right now,” His hand scratches the back of neck as he says this. 

“You don’t have to be sorry, Luke. I’m listening,” you say, as you look him in the eyes and gently grab his hand. “I know it must be hard since Percy and Annabeth went on that quest, I know she was like a little sister to you.”

Nervously, he clears his throat. “Yeah, but, um, it’s not just that…”

“Oh…what is it?”

He sighs and lowers his head, “Look, just promise me that you won’t view me any differently after I tell you this.”

“No, no,” you say hastily, while shaking your head. “There’s nothing you could ever say to me that will make me view you differently, Luke. I’ll love you no matter what, I promise.”

Luke looks you in the eyes again. “Nothing?”

“Nothing,” a reassuring smile grows on your face.

He can’t help but smile with you. He’ll remember that. “Look, it’s just about my dad… Do you ever feel… betrayed by our godly parents?”

Taken aback by the question, you stop to think before answering. “Betrayed how?”

“Like, they just ignore us, like we’re nothing to them. Like we’re not even their children.”

“I-I guess so. I mean I feel like that sometimes.”

“That shouldn’t be how it is, though,” He sighs and keeps talking. “I don’t think Hermes even knows most of his kids. Most of my half siblings have barely met him, if at all. It’s just so… infuriating. He goes around, siring kids, and then sits up in Olympus and just leaves them. I’ve spent my entire fucking life wondering where my father is. Waiting for him to maybe one day come and talk to me or just acknowledge my existence. But, no. I’ve only met him once, because he can’t be bothered to get to know his own fucking kid!” 

For a moment, he runs his hand through his curls and exhales before he continues. “And what I’m about to say might sound… bad…but seeing Percy get claimed just like that after finding out he’s a half blood for, like, what a week? It just intensified everything I felt before… Like some kid just shows up and now he’s loved by everyone and claimed by his father. And yet, I fight everyday and what do I get? Nothing! I’m the best sword fighter in camp, I pray, I give offerings, I’ve done everything right. But it’s still not enough for him… I’m just so fucking tired of these Gods just doing whatever they want and not caring who they hurt…”

After saying all that he turns back to look at you. You're standing there in stunned silence, unsure of what to say. 

“Luke, I… I’m so sorry,” you walk over and give him a hug. He hugs you back and rests his chin on your head. A few silent moments pass as you stay like that. The sound of campers excitedly chatting and partying could be heard distantly behind them. 

“Do you see me differently now?” He asks, quietly.

You pull away, but keep your hands on his arms, gripping him gently. “No, Luke, I really don’t. I told you nothing you say will ever make me view you differently.”

“I know it’s just that… most people would think that I’m… weak for feeling this…”

“Weak?” You look shocked. “How could anyone ever think you’re weak? You’re one of the strongest people I know!” You kiss him softly on the cheek and smile reassuringly causing a slight blush to appear on his cheeks. 

“I understand what you’re saying, trust me. I, of all people, understand what it’s like to do your best to get your parent’s love and praise… and yet, it’s never enough,” You say, trying to give him a sympathetic look.

“You understand?” Luke asks, his face softening a bit. 

“I understand all too well…” You say with a humorless laugh. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, but…”

“But?” 

“Well, y’know with Aphrodite being the goddess of beauty and all…there’s, um, a lot of pressure for us to look a certain way…”

Sighing slightly, Luke brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Is this about… dieting?” He says it carefully, unsure of how to word it correctly. 

“Yeah,” you look away, ashamed to be telling someone this. “I’ve been counting calories since I learned to count. I obsess over every little thing I consume. I eat as little as I can, yet it always feels like too much. I go on runs or swims everyday… and it’s still never enough. I’m never thin enough… I love my mom, but… I can’t help, but feel like she made me start doing this.”

Now it’s Luke’s turn to stand there in stunned silence. “I had no idea… that you’re going through all this. I-I’m sorry, I should’ve noticed.” He thinks back to everyday in the dining pavilion when he’d look over to you at the Aphrodite table and see you playing with your food instead of eating. Or all the times when you’d say you weren’t hungry and would change the subject to anything besides food. Or all the daily runs he’d see you go on. Or, most concerning of all, the quick weight loss. How all your clothes that used to fit, now hang over your body like a shower curtain. Your once cherub-like face became pale and almost gaunt with dark circles under your eyes and a tired expression always. How has no one noticed? How has he never noticed?

You just shake your head and give him a gentle smile. “Luke, it’s okay. I tried my hardest to keep it hidden. Also, my mental state isn’t your responsibility…”

“But I’m your boyfriend,” grabbing your hands gently, he looks at you with a sympathetic expression. “It’s my job to care for you, especially when you’re… sick. Does anyone else know?”

“No,” you shake your head once more. “You’re the first person I told… It’s not a big deal, I’m not even that sick.”

“What?” He says, his eyebrows furrowing together as a shocked expression etches onto his face. “Not that sick? Y/N, you’re starving yourself! That sounds pretty sick to me.”

You just shrug in response.

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Since like,10 or 11. I told you, I’ve been counting calories since I learned to count.”

He stands there quietly for a bit, as his heart sinks. “That young?”

“Yeah,” you respond. 

“If you don’t mind me asking… How many calories do you eat in a day?”

“I-I don’t know,” you lie, you know exactly how many calories you consume, down to the stick of gum you’d chew for a snack. “Like about 400-800…” You try (and fail) to fight back a smile that grows on your face. Despite how unhealthy it is, you can’t help, but feel proud of it. 

Luke, on the other hand, just feels shocked and concerned. “That-that’s nothing… and for so long. Y/N, you need help. You’re killing yourself.”

“I know, believe me, I know… But I can’t stop.” 

He reaches up and cups your face, rubbing circles with his thumbs before kissing your forehead. “I wish you could realize you’re perfect the way you are. I wish you could see yourself the way everyone else does,” he says it softly. “I’d love you, no matter how you look.”

“Really?” You ask, while a blush appears on your cheeks.

“Really,” He says, tenderly grabbing your waist and pulling you close to him. You rest your head against his chest and once again, you stay like that for a while.

Slowly, you pull away and smile softly at him. “I’m getting tired, can you stay with me tonight?... Not to do anything, but just like to… be with me…” You hastily added the last part, but hesitated. Most guys don’t react kindly to you saying you don’t want to do anything.

“Of course,” Luke responds. “But can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Can you try to… eat better tomorrow? Please, just try…”

You hesitate before answering, “I will. I’ll try.”

He smiles brightly, “That’s my girl.” He gently grabs your hand and walks you to Cabin 10.

You spend the rest of the night together in your bed. However, Luke doesn’t get much sleep. 

He holds you close to his chest as you sleep and thinks about everything you had told him. He hates himself for not noticing sooner. But a very small part of him feels relieved. If your mom caused you this much pain, then maybe convincing you to join him in taking down the Gods wouldn’t be as hard as he thought…

He hates himself even more for thinking that.   

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x fem!reader #luke castellan x aphrodite!reader #pjo tv show #pjo series #luke castellan #fanfic #hurt/comfort #angst #luke castellan x you #luke castellan imagine #percy jackon and the olympians #coquette #coquette aesthetic #tw 3d vent

[atryoshka]

Frenchie and Izzy getting together would be genius and tbh I can't unsee it now

Love that Izzy and Frenchie actually have a lot in common on a deeper level that wasn't really apparent to me until s2 when we see how they deal with trauma in equal but opposite ways. We have Frenchie with his little box that allows him to straight up ignore the dark shit he's been through like it doesn't exist, happily eat some blood cake, and thinking that his death being given a clear deadline is a comfort. Then we have Izzy trying to stone face his way through having his body parts severed, just business as usual bc that's the pirate life and it won't change even though he's visibly holding back tears, and then accusing the crew of being too cowardly to kill him, actively inviting death bc he doesn't get why any of it even matters so keeping him alive is pointless.

What's interesting is that given the right circumstances, they could easily trade places, with Izzy being more lighthearted and Frenchie falling apart at the seams.

We've already seen signs of this with Izzy being much more chilled out after the crew made him the new unicorn, finding something in this terrible life that make him see them, and himself, in a more positive light. Like yeah, life is still filled with unimaginable horror, but now has a custom gold painted unicorn leg to trudge through it with, which is absolutely absurd but now he can't help but smile. So he decided his life is so unserious right now and you know what? A shark took his leg, end of story, here's a little wooden shark I made today just for fun lol. Frenchie on the other hand is still pretty relaxed despite everything that's happened so far, but I have a feeling that he was probably very similar to izzy in the past before he joined the crew of The Revenge. His past is pretty mysterious even with the little tidbits we get like him being in the service for bit. It doesn't sound like he was doing it for too long so the other things in his life that he doesn't talk about remain unknown, probably even to himself. The box exists so he can pretend any trauma he experiences doesn't even exist, unlike a fiction which still somewhat acknowledges that there was something that happened to him in a way he could accept. The truth is, he actually never moved on bc all the parts of his life that he's ignoring are still lurking inside him waiting to break out at anytime. I think when something accidentally triggers a memory he suppressed, we'll see a different side to him. Less chill, more shrewd survivalist, like when he and the others reunited with the revenge crew after being stranded at sea. He bounced back pretty fast after they got past the pinnata and cake standoff but it was interesting to see how ready he was to be violent and how untrusting he was of everyone's intentions in that context. He'd usually be much more chill and willing to fast talk his way out of a situation, even when he knows someone has bad intentions. (There's also probably something with religious trauma he's hiding but that's a whole other can of worms I won't get into. All I'll say is that combined with his very strong beliefs of the supernatural and grudging flippant way he does the cross symbol on himself when others do it, when they boarded the cursed ship, he was that only one to not step in the satanic circle before anyone even questioned what the strange lines even were. Did he immediately recognize it and consciously avoid it or was it gut reaction? Idk, but he sure as hell didn't speak up about it and just wearily watched the other step into it and draw their own conclusions. ) But getting back on track Honestly, their dynamic would be really interesting to explore in the show bc they could understand and care about each other in ways that would probably surprise them if given the opportunity to spend more time together on screen. tl;dr: All this to say that I fell down the rabbit hole after realizing that they are basically this meme, which has a lot of potential for so many hilarious and accidentally heartbreaking moments

#ouizzy #ofmd #izzy hands #frenchie ofmd #ofmd spoilers #listen i saw that hand holding picture and my brain latched on #new to this ship so feel free to leave your head canons about them since I don't know what's already been discussed #a crack ship i accidentally started taking seriously lmao

[willalove75]

Alcina with reader who's just realizing they're gay and is love with her (kinda like not knowing what gay even is until they read one of the books in Alcinas library) (not good with my words lol)

Aw I love this!! Thanks so much for the request!!💕💕

Two Alcina fics in two days?! Well since AO3 was down all day I decided to write another!

Warnings: None

18+ only Minors DNI

After working for the Countess for just over 4 years, you were finally promoted to being her hand servant after your predecessor disappeared. No one is quite sure of what happened to her, there were rumors that the hand servant called her a monster and was sent into the dungeons, another rumor spread that she tried to stab the countess, not being fully aware of her capabilities and was made into a bottle of wine. The most chilling rumor though, was that the Countess got bored of her and killed her for fun. Either way, she disappeared without a trace and would soon be forgotten about all together. It's not like it's uncommon for maids to disappear anyway.

After being the Countess' hand servant for a few weeks you were able to do everything without a second thought. She was quite forgiving the first week given all of your duties were relatively new to you, but after a couple of days you got the hang of it and she hasn't had one complaint about your work since you started.

It's not like all of the work was brand new, growing up in a poor household, you would assist your mother, also a maid, at the various houses of nobility in the village since you were a child. Once you were 18, you were sent off to work for Lady Dimitrescu, partially to keep you safe because the village was rather dangerous, especially at night. Also because the Countess is rather selective of her maids, therefore the pay was good. She seemed rather impressed with the fact that you had almost 10 years of experience at the age of 18 and hired you on the spot.

Although the one downside to the life you've lived thus far was that you were extremely innocent and didn't know much about the world outside the village. Luckily, the castle had the biggest and most beautiful library you've ever seen, and since you loved reading and the Countess allowed maids to borrow whatever books they wanted, you were able to learn about the world outside of the village, learn about history and science and read books you never knew existed. Things you never really had the opportunity to learn much of growing up aside from the basics you were taught in school.

When you became the Countess' hand servant, many maids asked if you were frightened. Sure, the position could certainly be nerve-wracking, but you wouldn't say you were scared. Being surrounded by a pack of lycans that one time, now that was terrifying. Luckily the Countess was nearby and with one swipe of her claws the problem was resolved. But you weren't frightened of her, or of being her hand servant. Truthfully, you weren't sure what you felt. It was almost a nervous feeling, but lighter, you felt that way when you first saw the Countess, and almost as if she could hear your heartbeat increase, she responded with only a small smirk.

Lady Dimitrescu seemed to enjoy the fact that you had this unknown feeling inside of you because it made you very easy to fluster, something you're pretty sure she enjoyed doing to you. A soft caress of your cheek, her hand gently gliding across your back, when she would drop her voice just a bit, adding a sultry tone to it, staring into your eyes captivating you with her big, gorgeous gold irises. All things that would make your cheeks turn pink and make you trip over your words endlessly.

You tried your best to keep yourself composed, but every time you tried, she took it as a personal challenge and tried harder to fluster you, only causing you to fluster more than you normally would. Tonight was not an exception and she continually tried to make your cheeks turn as red as a tomato every chance she got.

Returning her empty teacup to the tray, you begin to blow out the candles in her room, leaving the one on her nightstand lit as always. Lady Dimitrescu sauntered out of the bathroom, you could have sworn she was swaying her hips purposefully, and climbed into bed. You tried your hardest to not look at her while she walked across the room, but no matter how hard you tried, your eyes wandered over to her, looking her up and down. Trying your hardest not to get caught, you raked over her body, her jet black hair, her immaculate hips, her long, strong legs. Suddenly, you meet her gorgeous gold eyes out of the corner of yours and you quickly turn back to your task, a barely noticeable chuckle vibrating in her chest.

As you blow out the last candle, you grab the tray and walk past her bed, trying to get out as quickly as possible now that she caught you staring.

"Before you go, would you please hand me my reading glasses, they're on my vanity."

"Of course my Lady."

Placing the tray on the nightstand, you grab her reading glasses and walk over to the side of the bed. You try and avoid her gaze, but it's impossible. Her gold eyes glow in the dark, captivating you for a moment. Handing her her glasses, her long fingers graze your hand, she slowly pulls away, the sensation lingering on your skin.

"Thank you." She says, staring into your eyes.

You go to open your mouth to speak but no words come out. Satisfied with her ability to leave you speechless with the smallest gestures, she smirks a little. Bringing her fingers to your warming cheek, she gently caresses your skin before cupping underneath your jaw, pulling you towards her. Your heart feels like it skips multiple beats as she pulls you in, a sly grin tugging at the corner of her lips. Lips so perfect, so supple, you wonder for a brief second what they would feel like against yours. The moment you realize your thought your cheeks heat in the palm of her hand and your heartbeat increases. The Countess leans towards you, her lips gently meeting your cheek, your breath hitches in your chest and you suppress an involuntary whimper that nearly escapes. Her lips linger on your skin for a moment before she pulls away, looking into your eyes once more.

"Goodnight, my sweet pet."

Frozen for a moment, you didn't realize her hand had left you. She looks up at you with amusement as she lays her head on the pillow. Once you snap out of the trance you're able to squeeze a "Goodnight my Lady." out before grabbing the tray, doing your best to keep it steady in your shaking hands, and leaving.

In the kitchen you find your friend, Antonia, finishing up her duties for the night.

"What's gotten into you? Countess got your tongue?" She teases.

"I-I don't know." You lean in a little. "She kissed my cheek."

"She what?!"

"Yeah, I-I don't know." Your cheeks turn a deeper shade of red.

"Do you have a crush on her?"

"What?"

"You heard me!"

"I don't know, I've never- but she's a woman?"

"Oh my sweet summer child, you have much to learn don't you?" You look at her with confusion and she chuckles. "You like reading, yeah?"

"Yeah?"

Antonia grabs a pen and paper and writes something down and hands it to you.

"Go find this book in the library and read it. It'll teach you a few things you should know, things I'm truly shocked you never learned given you've been here for so long now."

"O-okay."

The following morning your alarm wakes you up and you shower, get dressed and head to the kitchen to get the Lady's tea. Bringing the tray up to her room, she's already awake and instructs you to leave it on the nightstand and that she will get herself ready this morning. She also tells you that since it's Sunday, there's nothing she'll need you for until afternoon tea and then nighttime preparations after dinner so you have the rest of the day to yourself.

Once you leave her chambers you head straight to the library and find the book Antonia told you about. "The Price of Salt." You spot one of the chaise lounges off to the side and take a seat and begin reading. The book is fascinating and not incredibly long, drawing you in rather quickly. As you're reading, there's a sense of familiarity with the characters that you can't quite put your finger on, and when the two women go on a road trip together it becomes clear. Putting the book down for a moment, a realization washes over you, you always thought that there was something wrong with you because you never had crushes on boys the same way your friends did growing up. The thought of marrying a man and having children never appealed to you and part of you just thought you were broken since there was never any other alternative option. But you weren't broken, there wasn't anything wrong with you, you were just different from the rest. You were like Carole and Therese, not broken, just not interested in men.

Catching a glimpse of the clock you realize that you're almost late for the Lady's afternoon tea. With the book tucked away in your apron pocket, you dash to the kitchen and Antonia walks over to you with the tray.

"Where were you?!"

"I was reading that book you told me about."

She raises an eyebrow as she hands you the tray.

"Aaand?"

"It opened up a door to things I never knew existed."

"Hah! I knew it, but you can thank me later, go before she gets mad at you for being late."

You get to the Lady's study and gently knock on the door.

"Enter."

Opening the door, she looks up from her papers and stares at you.

"You're late."

"I am so sorry my Lady."

"And what is the reason for your unusual tardiness?"

Placing the tray on the side table, she motions for you to come to her with her finger. Looking at the floor, you clasp your hands in front of you.

"I apologize my Lady. Truthfully, I started a new book this morning and I lost track of time. I won't let it happen again."

You feel a gloved finger under your chin as she tilts your head up to look at her. With an arched eyebrow, she looks at you and then her eyes flicker down, noticing the book in the pocket of your apron. Her hand leaves your face and she pulls the book out of your pocket.

"And was this the book in question?"

"Yes my Lady."

She turns it around and reads the title, she smirks at it and her eyes shift back to you.

"A lovely selection, although I'm quite surprised a book like this piqued your interest."

You feel your cheeks redden and you look down.

"Antonia, from the kitchen, recommended it. She said it would, um, teach me things I should know."

The Countess hums and stands up, making her way to the armchair in the room.

"Pour me a cup of tea, my pet. No sugar today."

"Yes my Lady."

After pouring her tea and adding the blood, you walk it over to her, the book still in her hand. She takes a sip and places the cup on the table next to the chair and motions for you to come forward. When you step forward, you're taken by surprise when she grabs you by the waist and pulls you into her lap.

"So, tell me my pet, did you learn anything from this book?"

"Yes, my Lady." You say, avoiding eye contact.

"And what is it that you learned?" She asks, placing her finger under your chin once more and turning your gaze to her.

"Ha-have you read this book before, my Lady?"

"I have, many times. But I thought I asked you a question." She says, arching her eyebrow.

"Sorry my Lady. I-I didn't know that, um, two women could-" you look up at her, feeling the heat radiating off of your cheeks and don't finish your sentence.

The Countess begins to laugh and lightly throws her head back. Her laugh captivates you, it almost makes you forget about how mortified you feel right now. Admiring how the crows feet crinkle in the corners of her eyes, how her perfectly red lips frame her beautiful smile, how her laugh is like music to your ears.

Suddenly, it hits you, it wasn't nerves or fear, the feelings you've had towards the Countess were anything but that. You weren't afraid of her, you were in love with her.

"I do apologize, it's not often that I encounter such innocent maidens. Especially ones who have been here so long." She says with amusement twinkling in her golden irises. Her fingers caress your cheek and you feel a flutter so intense in your stomach your hands immediately cover it. Lady Dimitrescu chuckles as she strokes your cheek. "Oh my sweet, innocent little pet. Tell me, did you find yourself relating to the women in the novel?"

"Yes my Lady, very much so."

"Did you not know what those feelings were before?"

"No my Lady, I-I thought perhaps I was broken because I never felt any attraction to men."

"Well that is preposterous, although I understand knowing how taboo the topic is, especially in the village. I remember feeling that very same way in my youth until I learned about the other, possibilities."

Your eyes widen when you hear her speak.

"Wait, you're...?"

"A lesbian? Yes my pet, I have been for nearly a hundred years."

"Oh."

"You really didn't know?"

"No my Lady, I didn't even know it existed until today."

"Well do you prefer the company of women?"

"I-I guess. I don't enjoy the company of men."

"Me either." She says with a laugh. "There's a reason, besides the fact that I find those manthings wretched, I employ only women, have paintings of women and statues of women throughout the castle."

"That does make sense."

"I must say I am fascinated by your innocence."

"Thank you, my Lady, I think."

The Countess chuckles and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Tell me, my sweet little pet, what brought this up when you were speaking with Antonia?"

"Uh-" you freeze for a moment and your cheeks heat up once more. There's not an ounce of you that wants to admit that a simple kiss on the cheek from her is what started all of this.

"May I take a guess?"

You nod your head, unable to break eye contact with her. Lady Dimitrescu leans into your ear. With her body pressed up against yours, your heart begins to race.

"Was it, perhaps, when I kissed you on the cheek last night?" Her voice was low and sultry, one of her hands slowly slides up your thigh and rests on top of it and your eyes flutter shut. You nod your head "yes" to answer her question, unable to form words. "That's what I thought, how sweet." The Countess grazes her teeth softly across your earlobe, sending a shudder down your body. A whimper-like moan escapes from your lips and you feel a pressure building up between your legs.

Lady Dimitrescu inhales through her nose, smiling as she exhales.

"Oh draga mea, your arousal smells delightful. Is that all I have to do to excite you?" She asks, teasing you.

Still unable to utter any words, you stare into her eyes. You can't believe this is happening, any of it. Lust begins to fill her eyes as she looks at you, you feel drawn to her in a way you've never felt drawn to anyone else before. Your eyes flicker from her eyes down to her lips. They're so close to yours, they look so full so kissable, you desperately want to know what they feel like on yours, to know what they taste like.

"Is there something you want, pet?" She asks.

"Yes, my Lady." You whisper, your eyes not leaving her lips.

"If you ask nicely I may indulge you, sweetling."

"Please." You breathe.

The corner of her lip pulls into a smile and before you know it, they're on yours. It takes you by surprise for a moment, but the softness of her lips, the coolness against your burning skin immediately relaxes you. So much so that a moan erupts from the back of your throat into her mouth. She takes the opportunity to slide her tongue into your mouth, another moan escapes as your tongue dances around hers. You're not sure how long you were kissing her for, seconds, minutes, hours, who knows? All you know was that the entire time you felt like you were floating. When did your fingers tangle into her hair? When did she grab the back of your head? When did you adjust in her lap to straddle her leg? You have no idea what the answers to any of these questions are. The only thing you know is that when your lips finally parted and she sucked on your bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth, you were in heaven.

With hooded eyelids you look up into her eyes while you gently pant. The Countess cups your face and caresses your cheek with her thumb, pressing a kiss into your forehead. She pulls you into her and you lay against her chest.

"Oh my sweet little pet," she says, stroking your hair. "we are going to have lots on fun together."

#willalove75 #wlw fanfic #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu fanfic #lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina x female reader #re8 alcina #alcina dimitriscu x reader #alcina x reader #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil village #resident evil

[misc-obeyme]

what are your thoughts on the cheeky lil cow boy (belphie)

Ah yes, Belphegor, a bit of a polarizing character in general, I think. People seem to either really love him or really hate him.

Generally speaking, I think he's deceptively cunning, but not in a malicious way. He's pretty chill most of the time, but he'll do stuff like manipulate his brothers to get them to do his chores for him. Except for Beel, of course. And really they are a unit. Belphie is always ready to fight for Beel and vice versa. But I also really like how they just quietly support each other. Someone will say oh Belphie fell asleep in this weird place and Beel will immediately be like I'll go get him. Or Belphie will be like we need to make sure we bring food to this thing because Beel will get hungry. Like they're just always thinking about each other and I think that's really sweet.

Belphie will also call people out if he wants to. If he has no reason to keep it to himself, he'll straight up tell you if he thinks you're doing something questionable. And his issues with Diavolo indicate to me that he has a problem with authority, like he would be more defiant if he wasn't also lazy lol.

Inevitably, though, we can't really talk about Belphie without discussing the Lesson 16 Incident. At this point, I think most people are aware of those events, but just in case, I'll put the rest of this under a read more. And also it's kinda lengthy, so be forewarned lol.

First of all, I have to say that I was honestly so confused about what was happening in Lesson 16 that I didn't fully understand that Belphie had killed MC. I had to read it multiple times and then read what other people were saying about it. So I never had an intense reaction to it.

But to be fair, it wasn't like we didn't know there was something weird going on the whole time. I knew it was the youngest brother locked up there and it seemed like it was wrong, so that made Lucifer out to be the bad guy of the situation. Then it turns out that wasn't the case at all.

Belphie is manipulative. That's just part of his character. And when he has something that he's trying to do, he's going to use that skill to get it.

Some people are still mad at Lucifer for locking Belphie up at all. Some people are obviously quite upset that Belphie killed MC.

But here's what I think.

It isn't that black and white. Aside from the confusing time travel shenanigans, this event is one of the most realistic things that has ever happened in the story.

Belphie shared Lilith's love of humans. Together they wanted to learn more about the human world. It would be easy for him to blame himself for her interest and what ultimately led to her death. But even if he didn't, he saw the way that it tore his entire family apart.

It wasn't just that his dad got mad at his sister and they had an argument or something.

It was that his dad was going to end his sister's existence and in defiance, his older brother rebelled. And there was a war. This was not some squabble. This was siblings fighting siblings.

Belphie watched his brothers and sisters fight and hurt and kill each other and it all came back to Lilith falling in love with a human.

And then he fell with his brothers, cast out of his home, losing everything he's ever known. His brothers are changing and suffering just like he is.

They don't talk about it. They clearly all keep secrets regarding it still, things that don't come out until MC comes along. Which is supposedly thousands of years after the fact (at least in OG). That means Belphie has had all that time to let that trauma fester. To let it twist inside him. To let it morph into the one thought that became most dominant: that humans are bad.

Is that a fair assessment of what happened? No, of course not. But we're dealing with a war traumatized fallen angel that clearly hasn't worked through any of these feelings in thousands of years.

And then he defies Diavolo and Lucifer panics.

Yes, Lucifer should have found a better way of handling it. But remember what happened to him when he defied authority? He is trying his best to protect Belphie. He is trying not to lose another sibling. He is also still traumatized and therefore overreacting out of fear.

And so was Belphie.

Imagine being locked up like that and a human comes along. A human is free among your brothers to do whatever terrible things humans do while you're powerless to stop them. Of course he's going to try to manipulate that human into setting him free. Of course he's then going to eliminate them because humans have been historically bad for his family.

I read this situation as Belphie being both afraid and angry that a human - the thing he's convinced himself was the main cause of his sister's death - has become so close to his brothers and has the access to his family that could cause another rift among them.

You could say that it was Belphie's idea to get MC to have all the pacts, but that isn't really true, either. By the time MC meets Belphie, they already have a pact with two of his brothers. He sees them already starting to worm their way into his family. And he knows that the only way to get out of the attic is to encourage it. He doesn't really have a choice.

Maybe everyone can now call me a Belphie apologist. But I'm always coming at this from an outside fictional standpoint. I'm like listen he's a flawed character and it's actually pretty realistic of him to react this way considering the circumstances.

However, he did kill MC. And that's why my own MC, Ciaran, has issues with Belphie for a while. It's also traumatic to have someone kill you, so it isn't like I'm saying MC should just forget about it or forgive Belphie immediately. I think it probably should have taken a lot more time for MC to trust Belphie again. Certainly that part of the story was a bit rushed.

But they're dealing with lesson format constraints and also it's a silly otome game so I guess fully formed character arcs can't be expected. Especially since we aren't dealing with routes and they have to cram everybody into the same set of lessons.

In the end, I think Belphie is an interesting and complex character. I think there's a lot of space to explore more about this particular aspect of him, but due to the format of the media and the lack of routes, his more in depth character arc just doesn't exist.

I personally have no problem with Belphie as a character, but I also understand why people don't like him. I am always of the opinion that everyone is free to love or hate or have any emotions at all about fictional characters lol. This is just my personal opinion.

#sorry I didn't mean to get into Belphie character analysis #but it all just kinda came out and once I started I couldn't stop #I don't normally write essays like this about characters that aren't Barbatos lol #though I could probably write essays about all of them if I wanted to #obey me #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #om belphegor #om belphie #anon asks #misc answers

[thetraingotsetonfireonmidnight]

Can u do bakugou and shoyo x male reader? Maybe where people realize they are dating?

I wasn't sure if you wanted them separately or as a poly relationship, so I did both (poly is at the bottom) lol. Hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: Bakugou being Bakugou. (Very) brief mentions of homophobia.

𝔅𝔞𝔨𝔲𝔤𝔬𝔲 𝔎𝔞𝔱𝔰𝔲𝔨𝔦:

When you and Bakugou first started dating, coming out to everyone was the last thing on his mind.

He's not a very public person, because to be quite frank– his love life is no one else's business.

He's the kind of person who let's his friends find out stuff about him on their own. Never ever will you catch this man directly telling anyone anything about himself because his life is no one's business and he stands by that.

It takes awhile for anyone to catch on, mainly because Bakugou isn't into PDA.

So Class 1-A practically drives themselves crazy trying to figure out if you're actually a thing.

On one hand, you both are constantly low-key flirting.

But on the other hand, Bakugou still very much calls you names such as dickhead and asswipe.

Plus no one has ever seen you two be physically affectionate so

There's no way, right??

Wrong, you two got caught kissing.

It was wrong time wrong place.

Bakugou gave you a small peck goodbye, and Mina had seen it.

And because Mina can't keep a secret to save her life, everyone found out.

Bakugou wasn't exactly thrilled, he preferred it when everyone wasn't "up his ass" about his relationship.

"Bakugou! Why didn't you tell us you were dating Y/N?!"

"BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS, FUCKWAD. HAD IT BEEN UP TO ME, YOU STILL WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT IT."

Now thing is, everyone is shocked up also not shocked.

On hand, you two were always together so it just made sense

But on the other...it's Bakugou. He's the least desirable person to ever exist, why in the world would you choose him?

Eventually everyone chills out, and it's back to normal.

Nothing really changes. You and Bakugou still aren't too openly affectionate...

Untilll...

"Katsuki? Do you ever worry about how some people are going to react to us...you know, dating?"

"What do you mean?" He turns to face you. You're sprawled out on his bed spouting out depressing shit all of a sudden while he's trying to study.

"I'm glad that our friends are supportive but...not everyone is going to be as accepting as they are. Does that not worry you?"

He scoffs. You're an idiot for thinking that.

"Of course not. I don't need anyone's permission, I can date whoever the fuck I want...and so can you. I love you, and no one's going to change that."

After that, he's determined to be more openly loving towards you.

Just to prove to you that no one else's opinions matter to him.

𝔗𝔬𝔡𝔬𝔯𝔬𝔨𝔦 𝔖𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔬:

Todoroki is similar to Bakugou when it comes to his private life: it's private.

He often makes impulsive decisions without consulting the people around him, and one of those decisions happened to be dating you.

You two got together...and he just never said anything to anyone.

Not because he was scared to, he's not afraid of being judged for who he loves.

And it wasn't because he's not comfy with PDA, because he's perfectly ok with it.

That's actually how everyone found out.

He straight up walked over to you in front of everyone:

"Hey babe, happy to see you."

Kiss on the cheek.

Everyone stops breathing.

Todoroki...the guy who claimed he didn't come to school to make friends...was dating someone.

Minds were blown.

"Todoroki?? Why didn't you ever say anything???"

"I didn't need to??"

"But you do??"

"Oh well...I'm dating Y/N."

No one saw this coming.

Todoroki didn't seem like the kind of guy to date, and no one ever saw you two hanging out so???

This came out of no where.

Some of his friends didn't even know who you were because they've never heard of you.

Not because Shoto is ashamed of you or anything— he just doesn't understand why he needs to talk about his personal life.

You're the person he's dating, so from his understanding, you're the only one who needs to know that.

The guy doesn't understand why everyone feels the need to know about his love life.

When you bring up your concern about some people being not so accepting towards your relationship, Todoroki shrugs.

"Would it make you more comfortable if I were less affectionate with you in public?"

If yes, Todoroki completely respects that.

He respects it a little to hard though because he'll flat out stand on the opposite side of the room.

You love him, but sometimes he was an idiot.

If no, then Todoroki questions why anyone else's input should matter.

"They aren't dating us, so why should they care? If anyone has anything to say, I will talk to them."

He 100% means that btw

Will stand up for you if someone makes a comment about your relationship.

He loves you. End of sentence.

Bonus: Endeavor isn't too happy about the relationship because he doesn't want Todoroki getting distracted from his hero work. Todoroki responds by sending his father pictures of him and you together as a sweet little fuck you.

𝔓𝔬𝔩𝔶!𝔗𝔬𝔡𝔬𝔯𝔬𝔨𝔦 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔅𝔞𝔨𝔲𝔤𝔬𝔲:

This relationship is a dumpster fire.

Sorry, have to be blunt with you, everything is going right and wrong again the same time.

Mainly because of thing 1 and thing 2 over here.

How they go about relationships is so different yet similar and it throws them both off.

While they both agree that their private life is private— Their views on PDA collide

Now if you ask Bakugou, it's not his fault that the secret got out about you all dating.

Todoroki was challenging him.

Todoroki likes holding ur hand in public.

Bakugou would usually oppose to it, but he felt so left out.

So being as stubborn as he is, he grabs your other hand- making sure it made a loud SMACK to grab everyone's attention. (Dw, ur hand is ok)

Todoroki looks over curiously, "Bakugou, I thought you did not like public display of affection."

"Tch, no shit I don't! But like hell you're going to third wheel me!"

"Bakugou, No one is third wheeling—"

"AND GOD DAMN IT, ICY HOT, MY NAME IS KATSUKI. KATSUKI. USE IT!"

You awkwardly stand there wishing for death to take you as everyone immediately stares at your dysfunctional trio.

Bakugou and Todoroki arguing? That's normal

But both of them holding your hands??? Bakugou telling Todoroki to call him by his first name???

"You three are totally swapping spit." Mineta is the first to say something. While everyone yells at him for his bluntness, they had to admit, he said the exact thing they were all thinking.

You three would definitely get some questions from the class

They're supportive, don't get me wrong.

They've just never been exposed to a poly couple so

They're all very confused.

More so confused about how you got Todoroki and Bakugou agree to it.

After the whole ordeal is dealt with, you gave them a stern talking to about how they need to learn to get along.

"You completely outed us, Bakugou!"

"Yeah yeah, I know Y/N. I'm sorry."

You thought you were making some progress until Todoroki opened his mouth.

"All because you were jealous about me holding his hand–"

"I WASN'T JEALOUS, SHIT FOR BRAINS. MY HAND WAS COLD, SHUT UP."

Your boyfriends are disasters.

Get them some help.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki x male reader #bakugou x male reader #todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #todoroki x male reader #shoto todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #bnha x male reader #mha x male reader #mha x reader

[timbertumbr]

Yoooo so I saw your writing and was like yasssssss. I was wondering if I could request horror sans, Error, Dream and Nightmare (I didn’t see a limit on characters, so if it’s to much I’m sorry 😭) where their s/o is incredibly clumsy and basically casually falls down two flights of stairs and gets up acting fine.

Walking Disaster (Various Sans X Reader)

Fair, I didn’t really make a limit. I would prefer staying in the single digits though lol, I just pick whatever ones I see and have an idea for and go for it. I hope you enjoy!

Horror Sans-

-He's incredibly concerned! 

-He'll start carrying a bag full of medical supplies, cause even though you say you're fine, he's not having it.

"Sans I'm fine-"

"I'll be the judge of that,"

-He can and will start giving you piggy back rides down stairs. Hell, he may even use what little magic he has left and carry you down the stairs.

"Sans please-"

"Hush, I carry you,"

-If you do have a tumble and he examined you, you bet he's going to make you rest and get you EVERYTHING you need.

"Sans I don't need this many blankets-"

"Yes you do, now you're safe in the blanket burrito,"

-You may need to call Papyrus to talk some sense into him if he goes overboard.

Error-

-Let's be real, he'll panic when he sees this the first time. He'd be glitching and everything while frantically looking for injuries.

-When he sees you're fine, he'll be jumpy and have an eye on you the entire day.

-But when it keeps happening and you keep turning up fine, he'll eventually stop caring. He'll even think it's funny sometimes.

"Seriously, how do you do this?"

"Magic?"

"I checked, it's definitely not magic,"

-Somedays, he'll just string you up and place you at the bottom of every step cause he'd rather not have a soul attack. He may be used to it, but the fear of you getting hurt or worse never fades.

-He'll sometimes cocoon you in his strings and keep you in his plane of existence (with your consent, because consent is important), he thinks it's cute and makes sure you're comfortable.

"Need anything?"

"Freedom,"

"Fine, but you're staying within my sight," (He really doesn't want to have a soul attack)

"Kay,"

-Biggest worry wart of the bunch despite acting like he doesn't care. Behind Dream anyway.

Dream-

-CONCERNED.

"OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY, DO YOU NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL?!"

"Nah dude, this happens like every other day,"

"WHAT."

-He'll literally start an investigation about your strange phenomenon.

"Does the length of the stairs play a role? What about the railing? Is there a curse on you?"

"What makes you think I know?"

"BECAUSE IT KEEPS HAPPENING!"

"Yeah, doesn't mean I know the quantum physics of it,"

"HOW?!"

-Expect getting checked up every hour or so?

"Hello?"

"Fallen down any stairs yet?"

"No, not yet,"

"Alright good, call me when you do," 

-The most chaotic out of all of them.

Nightmare-

-Literally the most chill out of all of them. You fall down some stairs and he's just looking at you blankly while approaching you.

"Does it hurt?"

"Nope, I never get hurt when this happens,"

"Huh. Neat," 

-May or may not use this to his advantage. Just place Dream at the bottom of a staircase and ask you to walk down it. Chaos ensues. 

"Okay, woop, there I go,"

"What the- ACK!"

"Note to self, test different materials for body armour, see if it affects the "invincible staircase fall" phenomenon," 

"Rude,"

"Maybe not, sorry,"

"It's fine, wanna get nice cream?" 

"Sure."

#error #error sans #dreamtale #dreamtale dream #dreamtale dream x reader #dream x reader #errortale #horrortale x reader #horrortale #horrortale sans #horrortale sans x reader #sans x reader #sans #dreamtale nightmare #dreamtale nightmare x reader #dreamtale nightmare sans #nightmare x reader #nightmare sans #nightmare

[ofherpinkways]

💋Jealous Greedy Girl💋 (cod men)

[bare with me please this is the first writing I've done in like 7 years I'm rusty asf lol. Warnings: drinking, swearing, implied smut,nsfw switch and switch relationship with Dom reader in this case ⚠️MINORS DON'T NOT INTERACT ILL FUCKING BLOCK YOU⚠️ based off a character ai I did. NOT PROOF READ might do a mini part two ]

The two of you had friends with a benefits situation. He wanted to start something serious and keep you to all himself but you on the otherhand weren't ready any of that yet. You and the rest of the Sqaud went out for drinks at the club one night . You noticed him flirting and touching another girl ,eyeing you the whole time making sure you saw. You both knew exactly what he was fucking doing,knowing exactly how to push your buttons,knowingdespite you not wanting start a relationship you hated seeing him with other girls,hating that you could be replaced.

But game recognize game you knew how to play ten times harder than he ever he could. You scoffed rolling your eyes finishing your drinking before walking to another teammate that he was absolutely jealous of instantly flirting with him now. He took noticed of this of course, his blood boiling now. He'd be damned knowing another man was touching you,making you feel good, screaming his name instead of his , tears streaming down your face from the pleasure. He quickly finished up with the other girl he was flirting with walking over to the two of you. He grabbed your hand pulling you away from the teammate " do you really think you can get away with this shit ?, you know how much seeing him with you puts me on edge" he muttered out still gripping your hand "it's not working " he whispered in your ear trying to be slick You smirked looking up at him "sure about that?" You asked in teasing tone, he stayed silent for moment "there's one thing I'm sure about " he said "I don't like seeing anyone coming between me and what I want " he whispered "oh really?" You replied smirking still,he pulled you into a kiss without saying anything pressing his body against yours . You kissed back passionately slipping in some tongue pushing him against a wall . You pulled away "mine no one else's ,she'd never be able to make you feel good not like me at least and certainly not as good or better" you whispered in his ear in cold lustful tone sending a chill down his spine knowing he was trouble now. "So my dorm or yours?" He asked flustered, "good boy" you said smirking grabbing his hand walking to the exist . The two of you walked past the girl from earlier, you gave her fake smile "better luck next time huh ?" You called out to her in rude teasing tone now winking at her making her jaw drop caught off guard by your comment. Meanwhile it just made him more weak in knees and excited for what was about to happen at your mercy ready to be taught a lesson

#cod mw2 #gaz cod #price cod #ghost cod #soap cod #cod x reader #horangi cod #könig cod #keegan cod #rudy cod #alejandro cod #ghost x reader #gaz x reader #soap x reader #price x reader #horangi x reader #könig x reader #keegan x reader #rudy x reader #alejandro x reader #cod smut #rambles #ofherpinkwayswrites

[milflewis]

if there is one thing i am always thinking about it is michael schumacher in mercedes in 2010 - 2012. like. girl.

can you imagine driving with him in the 90s and Experiencing Michael Schumacher and then you’re retired and life is chill and sunny and then he’s Back . and all the older ex drivers are sooo delighted that these ungrateful fucks are going to finally get what is coming to them. they are going to finally Get It. but this time he just lies on top of the car, all lazy and tummy out as he tans, and none of this children understand!!!!!!

bc look. the grid back then had more teeth than it does now but it was Nothing when compared to how it used to be in michael’s day and these babies keep giving out when michael gets goofy and plays bumper cars even tho that was barely a love tap like cmonnn . and then after they’re all like 🙄 yeah yeah michael he’s so mental lol. as they pet this fucking wolf turned sleeping lap dog and dc or damon hill or whoever is just standing there🧍‍♂️waiting for the teeth to close around unsuspecting hands. but they never do!!!!!!

bc michael fucking schumacher is in his live laff luv era and is one of the funniest people to ever exist. i’m obsessed with him.

#i am in inorganic chem and my brain is atrophying #i love this lecturer and the material but i am so eeeppy y

[lol-jackles]

Whenever Anons tell me that Jared fans are just as bad as AAs and hellers, I always ask for receipts.

The reason they won't ever be able to provide this (besides the ones Jai & co have been exposed as having faked to frame Jared fans...) is they don't exist (I know you know this lol, just making a general statement). The thing is, AA's are soooo beyond sensitive that they literally think saying we don't like Jensen's outfit at a con, or that he looks tired, or that he's had botox is "hate". You say anything even remotely critical about Jensen? You must hate him. They take such personal offense to things that are barely a slight to Jensen as hate.

Jared fans on the other hand, have had over 16 years of dealing with the hate and insults and biting their tongues. They have a much thicker skin. They are getting more assertive and pushing back more nowadays, but they still had to stay quiet for 15 years to keep the peace because, for some reason, it fell on them (much like it falls on Jared).

Btw this is exactly how and why I left the Jensen fandom completely. I was a Jensen leaning J2 fan when I joined the fandom. Problem was that I didn't immediately turn on blinders to Jensen's behavior when I joined (like a good little Jensen fan is expected to). So I made a mildly critical comment about him and was dogpiled. I was told I wasn't a real fan and that I actually hated him and was just pretending to like him. I was called some pretty gross stuff and told I wasn't wanted there. And from people I really didn't expect (at the time I didn't expect it at least). That's when I realized there weren't a lot of "safe spaces" in the Jensen fandom and it was exhausting trying to get news about him from sites where I also had to see (tagged) Jared hate and them attacking other fans like me. It was just easier to not bother anymore.

I actually saw a few posts recently from TB/GenV fans who were really annoyed that Jensen had a cameo in GenV because it's annoying how he takes over and all the gifsets and everything are all him. They didn't want him on the spinoff because that was a show mostly safe from his fans. It took them less than one season to piss off TB and GenV fans. Jared fans put up with it for 15 years.

Thank you for sharing your history. This completely jives with the many private convo I had with Dean/Jensen fans laminating the lack of safe space within their fandom that doesn't include Destiel and/or hating on Sam/Jared (X) but also expected to never discuss Dean or Jensen other than a perfect victim because AAs viewed themselves as perfect victims that the world must change and cater to them. The only advice I could provide them was to go to original posts by Sam girls (because at least they respect the show's canon) and look at who are reblogging or liking with Dean's avatar or his name.

Yeah I never understood why it fell on Sam girls to keep the fandom peace by appeasing the demented Sam haters. Just like it fell on Jared to protect Jensen from Destiel hellers' campaign to slander Jensen as a homophobe (*wave hello to MallorytoyourMickey aka Heidi aka High-D aka my buddy!*) but they won't protect Jared from slanderous lies spread by their own fandom on social media.

Which is why AAs, hellers, and even Kripke get the shock of their lives when Sam/Jared girls do strike back because they're like cats - chill and indifferent but have murder mittens and Freddy Kruger hands when rudely poked.

I’ve joked that Jared’s stans’ response to the Prequel debacle was “I’VE BEEN FREED!"  They no longer have to support and defend Jensen especially now that SPN is over, then the Prequel debacle was the cherry on top because it gave them the ultimate permission to no longer do the geek social fallacy thing. And I like to think that Dean fans are also free from Ackles Army's death grip of the character now that they're moving on to The Boys fandom.

Speaking of which, I'm not surprised to hear TB/GenV fans are annoyed by the AAs. The soap opera and SPN fandom couldn't stand them, why would TB fandom be any different? As long as AAs view themselves as perfect victims, they don't believe they need to change their attitude.

#supernatural #fandom history #Ackles Army #Jensen Ackles stans #Jared Padalecki

[manasurge]

Sketchdump 2023

Since I don't really have enough (or at least what I'd consider to be enough) art that I'd like to compile, I'm going to do an "end of the year sketchdump" instead (tbh I don't usually do yearly summaries of anything because I'm lazy af and usually don't care, but there is a lot of WIPs that I never used or shown, and I'd been wanting to do sketchdump posts anyways, so this feels like a good way to do it!)

Start with WIPs of things I've finished:

Things I'm still working on: - I'm still working on her Scion appearance. It's just on hold for the moment so I can work on more lore so I'm not stuck in world building mode forever. - the third one is to show her alien-looking maw (that splits open on both top and bottom) and her hyper-terraformation beam (aka her "dragon breath"). Super quick messy whatever, but hopefully it sort of still comes across - the Charr one is just a super basic trial of figuring out her Charr disguise design for IBS+ (she's going to get an Asura one too). This is also my excuse to make in-between Sylvari Charr/Asura looks for her too since she sucks at disguises and has to "shape" her body first before applying the Mesmer disguise over top. I still have to finish designing these as well

Things I've discarded/older Mourynn design concepts: - old outfit look that was changed a bit. Tbh I still really like this outfit design, the only reason why I scrapped it was because I wanted something that was easier to replicate and visualize at all angles - she still has Mawdrey! she helps hold her Greatsword and other things (kid of a handy symbiotic relationship where Mawdrey just chills there and occasionally does things for comedic timing or convenience purposes. Mawdrey kind of functions as a sentient set of semi-extra limbs that she uses sometimes. Mawdrey mostly exists in her first form when dormant when Mourynn has her (easier to draw and keeps her more hidden) - I was trying to figure out what to do with her shoulders. It's still a bit tricky to figure out how to do the collar at side-angles, I think I need to get more refs in game from the NMC set to see how it looks properly lol - the last one here is the forbidden first draft of me trying to figure out Mourynn's design. I just wasn't feeling this look + this wasn't that easy to replicate or visualize/had too much going on.

#WIP gallery #Mourynn art #Mourynn #gw2 #gw2 OC #sylvari #sylvari OC

[fireemblems24]

Azure Gleam 15 (Final)

As long as this has gone on for, I'm actually bummed to finish this one.

NARRATION

Those special chapters were so weird. It's kind of funny how the plot is like, just ignoring all of that and going back to regular programming. It's like in an old kid's show when they got a dog and then the next episode - no dog anymore. Like there's kinda no point to it.

Ok, so Thales talking to yeeted Edelgard. I will never not get over how funny it is that's the path the writers decided.

Yep, we're really just jumping back into the regular plot. That is so funny. The writing in this game is a clusterfuck at times.

Ok, so we're going to the monastery to save Rhea. MUCH better than saving Bernie's dad.

TWSITD causing chaos again. I feel this route targeted them more than the other two. Like they barely existed in GW.

Everyone's worried about Rhea.

Dimitri wants to wreck TWSITD and the Empire. Let's fucking go!

MAP

No side quests again! Guys, I'm sooooo close to beating this game I can taste it. Both SB and AG have very short final chapters.

Only Claude is annoying, which tracks how this game's gone so . . .

So I've gotten all the supports for: Dimitri, Dedue, Felix, Sylvain, Ingrid, and Rodrigue. Mercedes I'm only missing Jeritza. I didn't use Annette or Ashe, so they're missing a few, but I feel I did pretty good. Hopefully I can get Mercie and Jeritza this chapter.

Ugh, so I missed the opportunity to deepen my bond with Byleth :( Maybe next time.

So in another route, Ashe had no idea what he believed in anymore. In this one, he's confident about his sense of justice.

In another route, Yuri didn't tell me his history with Varley, in this one he trusted me with it.

Ingrid is a queen. She said it's the people who suffer in war, our leaders should reach diplomatic resolutions. Too bad only Dimitri believes in those :(

Aww, Byleth refused to kill Shez during their fight because he could tell she wasn't herself. I soooo wish I'd gotten their supports.

Ok, so I ran into Raphael again and agreed that I didn't like how we were fighting (which, imo, isn't true, but I wanted to see the difference). Shez thinks Edelgard is too cruel, Claude is too haphazard, and Dimitri is too cautious. She pretty much nailed it.

No Arval in the tent :(

Linhardt just said Caspar revels in bloodshed. That's fucked up.

My heart just broke and warmed at the same time. A Kingdom general asked a Duscur general how the people from Duscur pray. He wanted to learn because he lost a lot of good soldiers from Duscur in the last battle and wanted to pray for them in the way their religion would. It's details like this that make Hopes worth it.

Haha, Dedue was fairly chill considering I attacked allies and posed a possible threat to Dimitri. He brought it up, but didn't harp on it.

BYLETH & JERALT A

Man, I'm glad I got this unlocked in time.

Byleth gave Jeralt flowers. First time in Byleth's life lol.

He's trying to communicate his feelings, thankfulness to Jeralt for being his captain and father.

Aw, it's a throwback to Byleth giving out flowers at the Academy.

Lamo, Jeralt just said Byleth may have been a student or led seminars, but isn't qualified to be a teacher.

Jeralt's like, I knew you cared, kid. But I still appreciate it.

Byleth picked the flowers out himself. It's the same kind his mother liked :(((

Jeralt used to give these flowers to Sitri.

Byleth is being so sentimental and sweet. I can just imagine a voiced Byleth saying lines like that in Houses' supports and buying more into the character.

I swear, this game made me really get Byleth more and "buy into" the character. Also, I'm going to cry so hard when Jeralt dies. I still don't really care for Jeralt, but I'm going to just feel so sad for Byleth.

DIMITRI & DEDUE A

For anyone wondering, I purposefully saved this one and Felix A. I've had them unlocked for a while.

Dedue is worried because Dimitri keeps sleeping at his desk. He's grateful or else he'd get sore.

Of course, he had bad dreams about the past.

Ohhhh! Not the tragedy, but arriving home after. Cool to learn some tidbits about that part too.

A child cursed Dimitri after the funeral because his dad died in Duscur and was furious with Dimitri for not killing Dedue, but hanging out with him instead.

Dimitri just ignored him.

Then Dimitri talks about his duty to those who died, and asks Dedue what he would do if Dimitri begged for vengeance while he was dying. OFC, Dedue says he'd do it even if he died.

Then Dimitri asks the opposite, what would Dedue do if Dimitri begged him to live for his own happiness? Dedue said he couldn't.

"I cannot know happiness without you by my side." :(((((((

He'd seek revenge, for his own sake, not Dimitri's.

Dimitri's like, nothing I'd say would change your mind?

Dedue just flips the subject, asking if Dimitri can't just live for himself, and ofc Dimitri says no, he can't.

But imagines another life traveling around as a merc with Dedue or living as a farmer. Dedue's like, why not go?

Dimitri says obviously I can't do that.

So Dedue's like get some sleep.

It worries Dedue every time he sees Dimitri asleep like that at his desk bc he's worried Dimitri died. But Dimitri's like, not why you're here. It won't happen.

Dimitri's like, if I died, that wouldn't go well, so I'll listen.

GUYS. DIMITRI'S GOING TO SLEEP. SOMEONE TALKED HIM INTO SLEEPING. THE POWER OF DEDUE.

They're married, your honor.

DIMITRI & FELIX A

Starts with Dimitri apologizing and promising revenge, killing all of TWSITD no matter the cost.

Felix walks in, Dimitri almost calls him Glenn, but corrects, and apologizes again except to Felix for seeing that.

Felix is like "I've seen all there is of you to see." So, uh, what does that mean?

Dimitri explains that he suffers from a "waking dream," saying he sees the dead like they're real.

Then talks about the violent revenge the dead scream at him.

Felix asks when this all started. Dimitri says 6 years, but the voices started 4 years ago during his first battle? Not sure those numbers line up with lore and age, but I don't know how old they are this time. Anyways, started with Duscur, got worse when Rufus tried to have Dimitri killed by sending him to battle.

The man he killed that freaked Felix out was someone from Duscur, and the voices cheered when he killed the guy.

Felix is like, do you really think Glenn and Lambert would torture you like that? Telling Dimitri he's the one doing it, not them.

Dimitri's like, even if that's true, I can't forgive myself.

Felix talks about how if Dimitri loses his path, he's taking everyone down with him (so Houses, sans AM) and says "keep the whole removing their heads thing in check yeah?"

Felix says it'll be their secret.

"are you offering to let me unburden my heart to you when the time calls for it?" - Dimitri to Felix. Guys, I'm dying a little.

Dimitri credits Felix with the reason he hasn't descended into madness, and asks Felix to continue being his right-hand man.

Hahahah, OMG, Felix picked Dimitri up and is physically carrying him to bed. Dimitri is nearly laughing because he's so much taller than Felix his feet are dragging the floor.

Felix calls him a "sack of muscle" lol

Dimitri carried Felix like this when Felix twisted his ankle. And now is calling this a workout. Dimitri's still massively entertained.

They are also married.

Man, so Dedue got Dimitri to fucking sleep, and Felix got him to laugh.

Ok, this game is really Dimilix, the game. I swear a shipper on deck wrote this. It may also be why Felix was one of the few Blue Lions to survive SB. Writers' bias.

My shipping heart is so happy with both supports.

ASHE & FLAYN B

This is their final support.

They're fishing together. She's trying to reel in a big fish, but it's not working. Ashe gives her tips. And she got it!

Though, it seems like it was a bit of a struggle.

Flayn swore she'd not let go no matter what. Ashe says sometimes it's best to not let go, and suddenly understands Seteth. But still compliments her on her determination.

Flayn thinks her mother would be proud of her for catching this, which is part of the reason Flayn loves fishing.

She flirts with Ashe a bit too lol.

And now she's drooling over the fish.

Ashe says Flayn enjoys him of his sister and really had fun.

But then panics thinking of Flayn in the kitchen lol.

ANNETTE & CONSTANCE B

Constance compliments Annette's performance in battle.

Constance is a legendary alumni at the school in Faerghus.

Stories include turning bossy noble kids into horses. And she started using it everywhere.

She argued magical theory with teachers and won.

These make me love Constance, not going to lie.

Annette is nervous being around someone so famous. Constance calls Annette one of the most talented women in the Kingdom.

Constance loves a book Annette work, but it's mostly a cook book, so Annette doesn't make much of it.

Annette wrote a magical cookbook, and Constance is all about it.

Annette tries to give Mercedes credit because she's the cook.

They both want to get to know each other better.

This was really them geeking out over each other, magic, and Mercedes' cooking.

MERCEDES & JERITZA A

It came down to the lack fucking minute, but I got it. Thank you, Shez, for cooking the perfect dinner.

Jeritza finds and old letter from Mercedes' mother. Or, rather, she wrote Jeritza a letter after Mercie told her that they found him.

They both want to live with him after the war, but he says no.

He can't face her because of his past actions. Doesn't seem Mercie holds it against him. And says neither will her mother.

Then Jeritza talks about the Death Knight persona.

Mercie's like, naw, because you're fine right now.

Jeritza still doesn't give in though. He insists he must pay for his crimes, which he thinks he never can. He wants to get judged by the law, which, honestly, respect.

Mercie decides to support his decisions, even though it makes her sad, and that they'll be waiting for him. No matter how long. Even if they're both old ladies.

I really loved that support. Seeing Mercie support Jeritza's decision, seeing Jeritza take responsibility for his actions. All around good support.

ANNETTE & CONSTANCE A

Glad I got this one. I think Seteth/Shez A is the only other support still within reach.

Constance wants Annette's help conducting an experiment outside. Annette knows how Constance's mood changes when she goes outside. Annette's happy to help.

Obviously now Constance is being down on herself.

Annette volunteered before learning the experiment. Thankfully it's just to try and get all the cats from the area.

It fails :( I want a spell like that.

Constance is obviously moping, Annette gives her a pep talk, but it probably useless bc they're outside.

It attracted bugs, and Constance says the cockroach is a better sorceresses than her lamo. Then they attract angry birds lol.

Once back inside, Constance realizes her spell does sort of work, but they just didn't know how to get cats.

Aww, I really liked that support chain.

FINAL BATTLE

How can anyone not tell something is wrong with Edelgard?

It's so weird how they just ignore the special chapters.

Thales is making her fight.

Sylvain said he'll skip the class reunion if this is what they're like.

Ingrid is roaring to go after Thales.

No sign of Claude. Dimitri's trusting him, but I don't know about that. I wonder if he betrays you here too. Though Dimitri makes a good point that if Faerghus falls, Claude's ass is next.

On, cool image! Dimitri giving a speech. It's like a moment in Lord of the Rings before Aragorn and co march on Mordor.

I like this! Dimitri's talking about severing the past and moving on into tomorrow. Good to hear him talking like that.

I only got 40 points too. Guess Claude was the odd one out, getting more points for his battle than the other two.

Kyrona made an appearance.

Felt good to kill Varley for once.

Getting ready to face Thales now. Dimitri about to get his revenge against TWSITD. Feels good.

Shez is reassuring Dimitri that he's not alone. That his friends are here to help. :)

I think I just killed Kyrona for good this time.

Time to kick Thales' ass. Much better than killing Rhea. Again.

We also got to defeat Edelgard. Having a hard time feeling bad about that.

This battle is pure chaos. But in a fun way.

Oh, did I beat Thales? I'm at a cut scene. Shez stopped Edelgard; and Dimitri's marching to kick Thales' ass.

Haha, he just ignored Thales magic like it was nothing. What a fucking badass.

He's not even saying anything, just breathing, and the voice acting is still on point.

Edelgard remembered Dimitri? So he didn't kill her. And outside Rhea, Claude and the Blue Lions are waiting. And sun is about to come up.

This felt WAY more complete than the other two. I was expecting MUCH worse. Maybe if I played the other two first I'd be more surprised, but they set the bar stupid low.

We defeated the Empire, defeated TWSITD - I don't know what would even be left?

I love how hard the narration tries to make it sound like the Empire has a fart's chance in the wind anymore. It's just clean up now.

MVP time. It'll eventually turn into the Dimitri show like SB did Hubert and GW did Lorenz. I suspect it'll take longer though bc I wanted to use the other Blue Lions a lot.

Actually, I lie, it happened like the second I got Dimitri and not just Shez. I think I may just be a stan lol. He's also just so damn strong he killed so much easier and faster than anyone else.

You can tell the chapter Dimitri was missing for since Felix and Ingrid kept trading MVP. Then back to Dimitri.

Hey! Rodrigue got one!

I'm excited for Dimitri's letter. Still wish we got paired endings here though.

Dimitri feels reassured with Shez by his side. He's also the only one who asked Shez to stay in the Kingdom. It's nothing spectacular, but it was sweet.

I'm also a bit sad to see this one end. No more Fodlan unless I replay, but I guess there's still supports I didn't unlock.

Guys, I can't believe I finished. Now I'm finally "free" to play whatever games I want.

Def want to replay Engage and Houses, and some non-FE stuff too. Should I get the Engage DLC?

xxx

#azure gleam #fire emblem #fire emblem three hopes #three hopes #three hopes spoilers #azure gleam spoilers