Emmet celebrates another birthday alone, without Ingo.
This was also a bit of a vent art cuz my birthday is in a week (2/11) and I'm just not really looking forward to it. Another year where I've gotten nowhere close to any goals, my financial situation sucks, and no job wants me while my dad makes me feel like that's my fault for not trying hard enough.
Anyway, as always, why not impart my problems and depression onto my blorbo! Sorry Emmet.
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People always say Shadow's backstory is sad, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about it in depth.
Maria wasn't just Shadow's only friend. She had a fatal illness that couldn't be cured by any natural means, so her grandfather resorted to experimentation to find a cure. Eventually, Shadow was created, whose immortality was meant to be the key to Maria's recovery.
He was created to save her.
But she was killed because she tried to save Shadow from G.U.N. after he was deemed "too dangerous" by the organization to live. Think about that from Shadow's perspective. His only friend, killed because he was created to be a living weapon. Because he was friends with her, and she wanted to save him from G.U.N.
In his mind, Shadow is the reason why his only friend, his purpose, is gone.
After that, all he had left was the second reason for his creation. His status as a living weapon.
What do you think it's like to have only two purposes, one of which is Maria, and the other is why she's gone?
What's left for you at that point but to destroy everything, just like your creator intended?
Shadow blames humanity for Maria's death- it's another part of why he tried to destroy the world- but above all else, he blames himself.
In the end, Shadow is a broken man.
He believes himself to be unable to form connections with anyone; the last time he did, she was killed. He doesn't want to lose another friend, but he's also afraid he'll be the cause if it happens again. He knows he is built to destroy, and he's resigned himself to that purpose. It's all he has left after Maria died.
The reality of it is, Shadow hates himself.
And he has yet to let anyone close enough to help him. He runs away from friendship and teamwork both to protect himself and others from losing another person. He can't let anyone else die because he can't handle the guilt he already feels from the last time it happened.
That... has to be the worst feeling imaginable.
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-- TAKING A BREAK --
hewwo, im gonna be taking a break from tumblr for the next while.
ive come to realize that im on tumblr wayyyy too much bc of my (newly found) ocd so im leaving for a while to try and deal with it (+ other stuff in the op tags)
i'll be back once im satisfied w/ my progress, but there is a chance i won't be back for months, so if u want to stay in contact send me a DM w ur discord or smthn, i'll check them a couple of times in the next couple days, but after that no tumblr at all.
so yeah, byebyes & i'll see u people later hopefully <3
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I wish Alfred would just slap each of the bat fam members (not cass or Duke my baby’s seem to have some emotional sense ((I say like I really know.))) but like Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph and Barbra. They need a good sending to therapy, family therapy and or relationship therapy. So much therapy. But like NEED the sense to get knocked into them with a bag ton of bricks.
I honestly don’t know who had good or bad coping but as far as fanon goes these fuckers are so damn emotionally on roller coaster it’s sad and I think Alfie could line them up a good slap then a referral to some good therapists. Like “you’re going to listen and listen good.” Bro does not care for the puppy eyes dick. Damian that didn’t work with dick why do you think that would work now. Steph probably went because she’s not going to complain, dragged Jason with her. Jason went because alfie asked if it was Bruce who asked he would have avoided it out of spite sack of potatoes to the ground even if Steph dragged him. Bruce and Tim are negotiating how to get out of the whole ordeal, cass is listening to them plan and is recording the entire thing duke is watching Damian try to sneak off while dick tries the puppy face a few more times Alfred is holding strong and wont let anyone go on patrol till at least one appointment is attended to. Which cass and duke are fine with family movie nights don’t happen as often as they like.
(I am aware that this is probably so ooc but like idk it’s funny in my head.)
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