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#this genuinely got me out of bed this morning how sad is that
22plus15 · 3 months
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ona via ig stories for american pistachios 🥹💗
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talentforlying · 2 months
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LET ME ASSIGN YOU AN AESTHETIC WORD.
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CAFUNÉ. cafuné means running your fingers through someone's- perhaps a lover, hair. it's such an intimate, affectionate way of showing love. if you got this result, you're a romantic at heart; very sweet, delicate, precious wandering soul. aren't you scared of your heart being too big for your body? somehow, you remind me of that pretty coral pink that bleeds into a soft indigo when the sun is slowly setting.
what i'd like to tell you is that we can't save everyone, and that's okay. you're doing your best, and it's enough.
tagged by: @danversiism!! <3 tagging: you!!
#there's literally a post at the top of my drafts Right Now talking about how much of a romantic he actually is#under all the sarcasm and bullshit he's a genuine fucking softie. he Craves love. he gives it away freely.#cafuné specifically makes me think of when he first got back together with kit ryan#and one of the first things they did as a couple was stay in bed together for 3 days. didn't leave the flat#just had nothing more important in the world than being with each other and that's how he is in MOST relationships motherfuckers!!!#justice league dark's womanizing dickhead has rotted people's brains!! commitment issues my ass this man WANTS to settle down!!!!#anyway. VERY passionate about this if you can't already tell#( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.#( dash games. ) ALRIGHT YOU OVERGROWN LARPERS! HERE!#idk it's always 'wrecked-looking husk of a man' THIS and 'wall-licking little cryptid' THAT and 'where's that gif of matt ryan in leather'#NAH MAN. bring me the guy who spent almost a full fucking day at the shops trying to find kit the perfect christmas present!!#bring me the guy who took a depressed god out to share a coffee bc the god just looked Too Fucking Sad to leave alone!!#bring me the guy who started singing the beatles in the bar & got everyone else to join in just bc someone seemed to need a leg up!!#where is the man who took abby arcane out dancing!! tucked her in!! bought her breakfast in the morning!! all because she seemed lonely!!#that's this motherfucker!!!!!!#and yeah he is ALSO a wrecked-looking husk of a cryptid who ROCKS a bit of leather but that other guy is still in there too!!!!!#idk. IDK. i feel many things about constantine's softness always being cut away by the sharp edges of his tongue and his suffering#40th birthday party constantine lives rent-free in my skull forever and you can never take him away from me
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orchideius · 1 year
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genuinely, when will it end??? I am so tired of being here and I am not sure how much longer I can push myself to keep going. i’m exhausted.
#it’s 4am and I am feeling the Deep Darkies#I literally passed out at 9pm from mental exhaustion & also bc I wanted to start to get up early to start a morning routine#so I actually got a ton of sleep but the second I woke up I felt like I wanted to cry and now I feel so depressed out of no where#like girl WHYYYY#genuinely I am so debilitatingly depressed I have suicidal thoughts every single day#and I feel like ive tried everything to help myself like ive been to therapy ive been on and off meds for over a decade at this point#im starting to eat better and sleep more#like what the duck else do I do?#I genuinely feel like my brain is broken#I just want to cry and lay in bed every single day#like I cannot articulate the profound sadness into words but it’s. so bad#and it takes literally all my brain power to do one assignment a day for class like none of this is sustainable#and I just feel so much shame over it bc whenever I tell my mom she gets mad like it effects her or something and the few times ive made th#mistake of trying to confide in my dad he gave me the whole pull yourself up by the bootstraps talk so never again lol#my entire family has made me feel so much shame over it and none of my friends here even bother to ask how I feel and don’t make me feel#comfortable enough to talk to bc i’m always the fucking therapist friend helping everyone else#hence why I always vent on here lol I have no one to talk to#I just really don’t know what to do at this point like I feel like I need inpatient therapy at this point but that’s expensive and I don’t#want to tell my job why i’d need extended time off bc that would be so embarrassing and plus now i’m in school#so like what do I do#im tired of feeling like this I know this isn’t how life is supposed to be but it’s also all ive ever known#and what’s the point of living if i’m going to feel like this everyday? I don’t know how much longer I can take it#personal
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lovelyghst · 1 month
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“why’re you bein’ so snappy today, sweetheart?”
genuine concern laces simon’s voice as the mattress dips beneath you with his added weight, but it’s still not enough to knock you from your bratty state. sat at the head of your bed with your knees bent together in front of you, arms crossed over your chest, a pouty look on your face that hasn’t changed since you woke up that morning.
his hand slips up your calf and his other follows suit on your other leg not long after, and you’re still ignoring him. maneuvering themselves to the backs of your knees, making you huff out a frustrated sigh.
“still not gonna talk to me?” he frowns, calloused fingers abandoning your knee-socks and making their way up your bare thighs. his skin is cold, freezing against yours, and your breathing hitches when the rough pads creep upward past the end of your skirt.
you shake your head, refusing to meet his eyes and unrelenting with your behavior, and he’s forced to keep prodding; continue pushing forward, see how long you can keep up the facade until you’ll be whining and writhing and rightly fixed under him.
his digits graze your upper thighs, trickling inward to where you’ve always been the most sensitive, and he tugs at the lacy material of your panties — twice, before pulling them tight against you.
a small whine unexpectedly falls from your lips.
and, oh, he’s got you.
“my poor baby…” he coos. the second his hands emerge from beneath your skirt, your eyes snap open, surprised he’d tease you in such a mean way. his large palms move back to encase your knees; gradually guiding them to part, gentle as you go so pliant for him.
“just a troublesome, little thing, aren’t ya?”
your grumpy pout turns to a sad, desperate one, and he hums in sympathy. he knows you don’t mean to be like this.
he reaches forward again, this time his knuckles finally making contact with the soaked center of your panties, and you gasp aloud. his touch is still light though it’s enough to make you deprived.
“y’need me to help ya rub one out, hm? is that it?”
and finally- finally, you give in to simon. nodding your head, eyes all watery when a tear falls to your puffy cheek, and murmuring soft pleas that entirely contradict the you from a mere minute ago.
he grins proudly; no matter how difficult you may be at times, he’ll always break through it. pull his sweetheart from whatever depths of ill-behavior she fell into, reset that little brain for the better.
“it’s alright, dovie, i’ve got ya. just let me take care of you.”
his hand dips between your skin and the fabric of your panties, careful as he inches closer to your heat, and you give him full reign.
because that’s what he’s there for; to take care of you, of course.
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ohdeerfully · 3 months
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alastor request HAI can it be based on the fact that alastor doesn't sleep, and it's his lover finding out that petting his ears during cuddling makes him fall asleep.
thank you for your service
yess i love sleepy alastor thank u so much anon :D!!
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Goodmorning, Love
Alastor x Reader (fluff) TW: none! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══
You were well aware of the Radio Demon’s sleep habits. Or, well, lack of sleep habits. You often spent nights in his room, where he would sit with you in bed until you fell asleep and go do whatever the hell he gets up to late at night. You always woke up in an empty room, and often so in the middle of the night, struggling to rest again as a greedy tightness gripped your chest in worry and disappointment.
You understood, though, and tried your best not to let it get to you that you didn’t have his warm body next to you when you woke every morning. But you couldn’t help that twinge of sadness. You weren’t particularly needy or clingy, but would it kill him to stay in bed with you for a single night? And to have a slice of domestic bliss as you woke up?
Obviously. 
You roll your eyes as you lay, staring up at the ceiling. You had just gotten ready for bed, and now waited for said demon to join you for a few hours. Your fingers tapped, impatient, against your chest as you hummed absentmindedly.
“How lovely,” You heard him speak. Tickles of that radio static that always followed him clung to your exposed skin, which was signal enough that he had entered the room had he not announced himself. “What a siren you are, luring me here with that hum of yours.”
You smiled slightly at his comment, scooching over slightly to encourage him over. He obliged, joining you under the covers. He still wore his usual outfit, which made sense considering his tendency to go away all night. You purse your lips at the thought, slightly chewing on the skin.
“Why the face?” Of course he noticed your expression. He always noticed when any emotion tickled your face. You appreciated the genuine tone in his voice, the typical buzz of radio barely detectable in his words. He always got a little softer and kinder when he was alone with you like this.
You appreciated nights with him, being able to see a side of him that nobody else would live to spread word of. You enjoyed feeling a little special, especially to somebody like him.
“Do you think you could stay in,” You asked cautiously, fiddling with your hands as you inched closer to him, pressing your body against his. Even laying, he still seemed much taller than you. You gingerly guided his head down, against your chest as you spoke, hoping the multitasking would keep him from sitting up and rejecting your intimate gestures. “Just for a night. I miss you all night long.”
He allowed his head to lay against you. He did feel tense, of course, letting the back of his head be exposed in this manner as he lay vulnerable on you. It was a strange feeling, but not one he cared to consider for too long. 
“(Y/N),” He began with a sigh. “It’s impossible for me to get much done during the day, what with all the running around Charlie does. Somebody has to keep an eye on that young princess. I prefer to stay awake to get my own errands done at night.” 
I know that, you wanted to say and interrupt his explanatory ramble. You wanted to beg him to understand, just this once. You held in a sigh, watching as his head gently rose and fell with every breath you took. Maybe you should just take this submission from him as good enough.
You gingerly began tangling your fingers through his red hair, brushing out any kinks he may have gotten throughout the day. His tense body seemed to ease slightly, becoming more and more relaxed as you weaved your fingers through the locks.
“You have really soft hair, Al,” You commented, changing the subject. You figured there was no use convincing him. You let your fingers lightly trail upwards, up to his ears. You grazed them slightly with a finger. You touched again. When he made no motion of dislike, you fully began rubbing them. Petting him. You smiled to yourself at the idea of petting the feared Radio Demon. “And your ears are even softer.”
“I try to take care of myself,” He responded proudly. There was another hint of something in his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what it was. But it seemed heavy. “A well groomed man is a successful one.” You absentmindedly agreed as you stroked the velvety fur of his ears, switching back and forth between them and his hair. You had a preference for the ears, though.
You sighed and began humming quietly again. He rarely got so… comfortable, even around you. He always had some sort of guard up, always had his shoulders squared. He almost never became so… loose and vulnerable.
You noticed the clippings of radio frequency had stopped, which was a noise that was ever present in his wake. You had a suspicion why it disappeared, a small grin forming on your face.
Yes, the Radio Demon never slept. But that was a choice he made, not a curse that prevented him. Even demons get tired. You don’t know how Alastor makes it day by day without a wink of rest, but it was apparent that exhaustion had built up in him. He just needed to relax for a second.
You graced your fingers over his fringe, and craned your neck in a way to get a glance at his face. Yeah, you were right. 
He laid there, eyes shut, features relaxed with the lightest grin playing on his face. Even in sleep, you complained. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was the sound of his deep, slow breathing and occasional twitch of his velvety ears. You briefly wondered what the Radio Demon would dream about.
Would he be aggravated with you when he woke up, realizing you had practically cast a sleep spell on him? You didn’t, but the rate of which exhaustion took over may as well have been some sort of magic.
You shut your own heavy eyes, exhaling lightly as you continued to comfort yourself with the texture of his fur and hair. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.
You craned your arms and neck as consciousness came back to you, but an unfamiliar weight kept you from getting that good stretch in. Momentarily confused, you blinked open and looked down.
Red and black hair, more of a mess than usual, still took place on your torso. This was a first, and your chest felt like exploding with the glee of seeing Alastor still resting with you. He somehow looked even more relaxed than the night before, his cheek flush against your stomach, squishing his lips up slightly. A light grin was still there.
You gently brushed your fingers over his face, trailing a line around his features with an index finger. His eyes squeezed for a moment, and that static ambience of his slowly, quietly, returned. It was a noise that you had learned to find comfort in. He slowly opened his red eyes, a confused and sleepy daze clouding them. There was a wrinkle in his brow as he roughly propped himself up with an elbow, looking up at you with a furrowed expression.
“(Y/N)..?” He trailed, pausing to take in a shuddering morning yawn through a confused smirk. “Did I… Dear, what time is it?”
You looked at him tenderly. Oh, how cute he was, sleepy like this. Composed like an exhausted kid. Something even you have never seen before.
“Yeah,” You responded to his unspoken question. “It’s probably seven a.m. or so. I dunno.” There wasn’t a clock in your immediate line of sight.” “A.m. …” He said slowly. He sat up fully, looking down in disappointment at his wrinkled day wear. He quickly blinked the sleep from his eyes and managed to bring some composure to himself, but that lick of exhaustion was still prominent. Especially under his eyes.
“Yeah,” You said again, a light chuckle following. “Goodmorning, Al.”
He wasn’t obviously upset, it seemed. Though he probably was too tired to think about it too much yet. Maybe later.
“Well… Goodmorning, love.” He responded, still with a hint of confusion in his voice. “I suppose I accepted your plea from last night.” He brushed at his clothes while he spoke, trying to flatten out the creases that were brought on through a night of rest.
“Maybe more often?” You asked, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation. You already knew the answer, but it was okay. You knew how to keep him in now. You mischievously smirked as he closed his eyes and shook his head.
“Unlikely.”
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ravenromanova · 6 months
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Make you mine
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Parings: Bucky x Female reader
Warnings: SMUT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Slight metal arm kink, Breeding kink, Unprotected sex. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE UNDERAGE
Summary: You try to cut off things with Bucky but he has other plans.
Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!
~
The room was thick with tension and your heart was beating in your ears. You knew the arrangement you knew it was just sex so why did it hurt everytime he left? It hurt because you loved him even though you know you shouldn’t.
“I’ll see you after my mission Doll” He says quickly pulling up his pants along with throwing his shirt back on. Your eyes are stuck on him as he gathers his stuff from your room. He walks over and kisses your head before leaving…that’s new you thought to yourself.
“Yea” Was all you managed to say as you watched him leave your room. With a heavy sigh you lay back against your pillows and try not to cry. You felt so stupid, so weak, so pathetic for falling for him. You knew you needed to put a stop to this and you were going to do so when he came back.
Hours went by and you showered before making your way to the kitchen. When you walked in you were greeted with Natasha and Sam sitting at the island sipping their coffee.
“Hey sunshine” Natasha smiled at you while Sam smiled and greeted you as well.
“Morning guys” You said faking a happy tone and smile. Luckily for you they didn’t notice anything off with you and if they didnt say anything. So you just went about making your coffee and went to go sit outside by the lake out back.
The sun felt nice on your skin but not too much to overheat you due to the cool wind blowing by. A smile settles on your face as you watch the ducks by the lake and enjoy the caramel flavored coffee. While you sat there you got lost in your thoughts and started thinking about him. You couldn’t feel anything other than sadness was over your as you thought of him.
After about fifteen minutes of thinking you decided that you really needed to cut whatever this was off when he got back tomorrow from his mission. You couldn’t keep pretending you weren’t in love with him anymore. Once you figured out what you were going to say to him you decided to head back inside.
You walked back inside and went straight to your room without talking to anyone not wanting to be social at the moment. And when you walked into your room your eyes widened at the sight in front of you. There were rose petals on the bed, candles littered your shelves and desk. And the last thing you noticed was Bucky standing at the end of your bed.
“Bucky what is this? I thought you were on a mission?” You asked and he just smiled and walked closer.
“I was” He said taking your hands in his. “And now i’m just finishing it” You shot him a confused look clearly not getting what he was saying. “My mission is to make you mine” His voice was genuine as he spoke.
“B-But you said you didn’t want a relationship” Confusion and anxiety were laced in your voice. Bucky took his fingers and tilted your head back so you looked at him.
“I was wrong… I do want a relationship…One with you” His words got you like a truck and you’re eyes up with tears.
“I-I” The words come or broken and stuttered as you speak. Bucky takes this as his chance to show you how much he loves you. He takes your face in his hands and brings you into a deep and passionate kiss. Instinctively you wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He uses this as an opportunity and grabs the back of your thighs and lifts you up. Your legs wrap around his waist as he pins you against the wall.
The kiss is the most passionate kiss the two of you have ever shared. It was messy, heated and filled the air with extreme tension. You started to grind yourself against his crotch once you felt the bulge in his pants.
“Fuck doll you keep doing that i won’t be able to control myself” He grunted in your ear.
“Maybe i want you to lose control” You whisper against his lips and his eyes darken at your words.
“Fuck it” Bucky said and before you knew it you were thrown into your bed. He wasted no time in settling on top of you. His strong hands moved their way to your body before he ripped off your shirt. You gasped when his metal hand gripped your clothed chest. Bucky reached behind your back and unclamped your bra and rolled at your bare chest.
“So fucking pretty” He praised kissing your chest making you blush. Even though he’s probably fucked to over a hundred times by now you never ceased to amaze him. He took his time and worshipped each of your breasts leaving marks in his path before moving down.
“Please” You whined as you felt his hands travel down to the hem of your shorts. His metal hand slipped under both your shorts and underwear making you jump slightly.
“So wet bunny” He chided with a smile when he felt your slick cover his fingers. His flesh hand ripped off your shorts and underwear leaving you completely bare under him.
“Please Jamie please fuck me” You beg gripping onto his broad shoulders. Bucky smiled down and gave you a quick kiss before riding himself off his clothes. You couldn’t help but stare at the man in front of you, he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes on. His toned chest and abs, The most crystal blue eyes, Long dark hair that you adored he was truly a work of art.
His hand roommate your body and gripped your hips as he admired the beautiful woman in front of him. “If we do this…it’s not like the other times understand me? You’re mine babygirl” He said with a softer tone than he’s been using.
“I’m yours Jamie” Those words leaving your mouth unlocked something primal in him and he wasted no time in pushing into you. Your hands flew to his shoulders when you felt his thick cock stretch you out. It had only been a day since you two last fucked but it always feels like wells with how big he is.
“So fucking tight baby” He grunted as he bottomed out hitting your g-spot. Your head flew back from the immense pleasure you felt. Bucky thrusted into you hard and with passion making your orgasm approach faster than anticipated.
“Fuck yes right there baby” You moaned feeling the tip of his cock hit that special spot over and over. Bucky’s grasp on your hips became tighter as his orgasm approached as well. The room was filled with the noises of skin slapping and the wet sounds of your soaked pussy. And the air was thick with the smell of sex and Bucky’s cologne.
“Gonna fill you up bunny. Gonna fucking breed this tight pussy” He groaned as his thrusts began to falter. Your orgasm ripped through your abs your back arched as you came with a scream. Bucky’s orgasm came right after yours and he made good on his word and filled you up.
“Oh fuck Jamie” You moaned when he fucked his seed into you making sure none would leak out.
“Gonna make you a mommy” He said before he pulled out of you with a soft groan. The both of you were panting messes as you laid on your bed. After he caught his breath he pulled you on top on him and gave you a kiss.
“I love you y/n. I’m sorry i pushed you away. I’m sorry i made you feel like i didn’t want to. I love you more than anything and i swear to you is you’re mine i’ll make it up to you everyday of my life” He said genuinely as his thumb rubbed your cheek.
Hearing those words from him made your heart swell and your eyes water. “I love you too Bucky” You said tearfully bringing him into a deep yet soft kiss. Everything you’ve ever wanted is fully coming true and you couldn’t be happier.
That night the two of you proved your love for each other in every way possible. He told you throughout the whole night just how much he loved you. And you told him just how much he meant to you before you two fell into a blissful sleep.
~The end ~
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purple-babygirl · 1 month
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don't call me daddy IV
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader
Word count: 5,540
Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.
Warnings: crying, a flu, coughing, shots, age regression
A/N: forgive me for the lateness with this one. i was very sick, like bed-ridden sick, and when i got a little better i got to writing right away. please be kind to me with this one, i'm still high on meds:" please enjoy xx💜💜
~
“Call me daddy.”
“What?” She was suddenly pulling away as if Bucky was made up of scorching metal.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” He asked with a small smile, wiping any residue tears on his face.
What she wanted… he was only suggesting that she called him daddy because he thought it was what she wanted? Was this his way of returning the favor because she hugged him after a nightmare?
Now she was really hurt.
Bucky was unknowingly emphasizing the fact that he didn’t want this type of relationship, didn’t want her. He was only doing it to show gratitude.
“No.” She shook her head, getting up from the floor.
“No?” Bucky was genuinely confused as he followed her with his eyes.
He thought he was finally making things right, giving her what she wanted.
“I wanna go back.”
“What?!”
“I wanna go back, please take me back.” Her voice wasn’t even sad or frantic, only small and disheartened.
“Back where?! The couch is right there if you wanna go!” Bucky became angry again.
He felt rejected and he felt small. Was it his touch that made her pull back? Was it the daddy thing? Was he so repulsive?
“No, back, out of here.”
“Back where?! It’s the middle of the night!” Bucky raised his voice in frustration, the nightmare nerves barely out of his body.
Has she lost her mind? Why was she acting like this now? What was he supposed to do to please her and her little mind?
“Take me back to Mrs. Morrison,” she insisted calmly as she collected her slippers and stashed them back in her bag.
He looked at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, not getting what happened or where he went wrong.
She wasn’t even tearing up, it was like a switch has flipped inside of her.
“Just— just talk to me, okay? What happened?” Bucky fervently needed her to stop, needed to understand.
“Bucky was right. This isn’t gonna work. Please just take me back.”
Her words reopened Bucky’s wounds that her sweet gestures had once closed. What did she mean “isn’t gonna work”? Was he just deemed irredeemable? Again?
“But why?!”
“I just wanna go back.” Was all she gave him; no explanation and no reasons.
Bucky wouldn’t understand.
“You know what? Fine! I’ll take you back first thing in the morning. Go back to the fucking couch, stay away from me!”
She silently got the wolf stuffie, leaving it on the kitchen counter, and went back, no crying and no trials to correct him on his choice of bad words.
Did she really want to leave? Was she really going to leave him come morning?
~
When it was lit up enough, Bucky went for a run, trying to blow off some steam because he felt like he was about to explode.
Why did he let her in? He shouldn’t have done that. She didn’t deserve to get this close, no one did.
Did he seriously think he was accepted and understood by this stranger after 7 days of time together?
No matter what the purpose she was serving was, she could never understand how hard Bucky had had it.
Still, something kept pulling him to her. Something inside of him didn’t want her to leave him. Not now that he was used to her; that he wanted to be used to her.
It's been only a week and Bucky was ready to give human relationships another chance. She made him feel like healing wasn’t a faraway dream.
He was going to try and talk to her one last time and if she still wanted to leave, he would gladly let her.
When he opened his door, she was dressed and waiting for Bucky on the couch, ready to go.
“So you were serious about leaving?” Bucky asks as he kicks his shoes off.
“Yes. Bucky is gonna take me back, right?”
“If that’s really what you want?”
She didn’t trust her voice so she just nodded.
“Why?”
“Just because.”
“Talk to me like I’m talking to you!” Bucky snapped.
She remained silent this time, not ready for a fight.
“Why do you wanna leave? What did I do?”
“Bucky didn’t do anything.”
“Then what is it?!”
“That is it.”
“What?!”
“Bucky didn’t do anything. Bucky didn’t even look at Doll’s file. Bucky never even called Doll Doll.” Only now did her tears come back, rolling down her cheeks with ease as she spilled out all that she’s been holding inside of her, “Bucky never wanted Doll.”
“I— I didn’t have time to look at the file. We were in a hurry so I picked the first one in the batch!” Bucky tried to explain, but quickly realized what he'd said.
A sob escaped her at the revelation that she was picked at random, that it could’ve been anyone else and that he really never wanted her.
“That’s not what I meant. I— listen, at first maybe I didn’t want you, but it’s different now!”
“Bucky never even picked me?” She cried, her broken voice crushing his heart.
“I—”
“Please take me back.” She wiped at her face, trying to steady her breathing.
“But—”
“Please, Bucky, please.”
The way she begged him with teary eyes and a shaky voice made Bucky stand up despite himself to put his shoes back on to take her back.
He might’ve not gotten a chance to explain himself, but he’s done her enough damage and he wasn’t going to continue being the reason she cried when she has been the reason he stopped.
“Let’s go.” Bucky pursed his lips and opened the door for her, her bag in hand, knowing it will never be the same when he came back.
~
“Doll, now that you’re big at least tell me anything, dear. Did he do anything—”
“He didn’t do anything, Mrs. Morrison. I promise you. Bucky was nothing but a gentleman with me.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s nothing. I just think I wasn’t ready. I shouldn’t have listed my little self as ready.” She shook her head with a polite smile.
Mrs. Morrison wasn’t buying it, but she couldn’t push her anymore.
“Alright, dear. I’ll go finish the report so Bucky’s therapist can get her copy in the morning.”
“Mrs. Morrison, please,” she held the older woman’s hand imploringly, “Bucky didn’t do but good. Make sure you’re just to him in your report.”
“Okay, doll. Whatever you say, dear.” She woman shook her head, giving up the argument before standing up and leaving the room.
It wasn’t the full truth, but she did believe she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t going to be ready for a long time, so it was better if she just went back home and let herself be grounded a little.
~
“Please, I need to see her.” Bucky begged in front of Mrs. Morrison’s desk.
“Not before you tell me what you did to her, Mr. Barnes!”
“I— I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s what she said too, but I know it’s not the truth!”
“Wait, what? I— please let me see her.”
“She’s not here, Sergeant Barnes.”
“What? Where is she?”
“Home,” the woman replied shortly, still mad at Bucky.
“I thought that was where they lived?”
The woman shook her head in disappointment, “you never read your copy of the file, did you?”
Bucky remained silent, too embarrassed to speak. Why did everyone keep asking about the damn file!
“No, they don’t live here. She went back to her life at her house.”
“Well, can you give me the address?”
“Of course, not! That’s private information and you two don’t even seem to have ended on good terms!”
“Please? I need to fix this.”
“You already had time to do that, Mr. Barnes.”
“Well… At least give me a chance to apologize.”
“I don’t know.” The woman hesitated.
“Please, I’ll do anything.” Bucky begged sincerely.
“Anything?” Mrs. Morrison smiled suddenly, making Bucky worry a little, but he meant his words nonetheless.
“Anything.”
~
“Corgi, calm down!” Bucky heard her sweet laugh as she approached the dog’s barks.
“You call your corgi Corgi?” He asked her with a smile.
“Bucky, what are you doing here?” Her smile quickly disappeared and a surprised frown replaced it.
“I—”
“Okay, I finished moving the new planters to the right side like you wanted— hello?” The man who cut Bucky off was offering him a hand.
Bucky shook it coldly, his signature frown staring the man down, “hey.”
“I’m Adam,” the man said with a friendly smile.
“Sergeant James Barnes.”
“Bucky, this is Adam, my best friend and neighbor, Adam, this is Bucky… a friend.” She introduced them, not sure of what to say about Bucky.
Meanwhile, Bucky felt something weigh down on him. Was it the fact that he wished she said more than just “a friend”? Was it the presence of this Adam guy? Was that… jealousy?!
“Right, so I’m gonna go now, but call me if you need anything, okay?” Adam said, looking at them both suspiciously.
“I will. Thank you for today, Adam. You’re the best.” She gave the man a hug, smiling from ear to ear as she did it, too.
That was a smile Bucky has never seen.
“I know I know. Bye, Corgi! Bye, Sergeant, nice to meet you!” Adam shouted as he walked out of her porch.
Bucky only nodded even though he knew the man couldn’t see him. He didn’t care if he was rude. Who was that anyway?
She was expecting Bucky to talk when Adam was gone but he just stood there, fiddling with the bag in his hand as he stared at her, so she didn’t say anything either.
She was done initiating. If he came all the way here on his own, he could start a conversation on his own.
“Who was that?”
“Really? You came all the way here to ask me that?”
He stuttered and swallowed, knowing fully well that he had no right to such a question.
“You seem different.”
“You mean big?” She smiled sadly, noticing how much more comfortable Bucky was dealing with her like that.
Bucky nodded guiltily, scratching the back of his head.
“Yeah, I do have a life and responsibilities after all.” She shrugged, gesturing to her house and the puppy by her feet.
She was disappointed to say the least. First, he gave her a terrible week with him, then he returned her and never looked back and now he was on her porch for no clear reason or explanation, questioning her and her life?
Still, she felt a spark of hope in her chest at the fact that he was standing before her. There must’ve been a reason he came and it couldn’t be so he could fight more.
Bucky felt embarrassed, tongue-tied with guilt as he’s forgotten everything he has been wanting to say.
Then the sky started speaking for him, thundering loudly and making her jump with a hand on her heart.
“Oh, it’s gonna rain. Let’s go inside.”
For some reason, he assumed she was talking to the puppy but when she kept looking at him, Bucky gratefully moved his feet.
~
Her house was the epitome of coziness. It was a true home and it was nothing like Bucky’s.
It had actual furniture, colorful pieces he knew were carefully picked. It had wallpaper and picture frames and kitchenware and cute mugs and plates.
Only now did he know how much shit she could’ve given him for the place he made her stay in, but she didn’t.
“Bucky!”
“Yes?”
“I asked about your favorite tea.” She smiled, motioning to a number of varieties on her shelves.
“A coffee would be fine.”
“I’ll just make you earl grey with me.” She shrugged, ignoring his choice for a coffee at this relatively late hour of the evening.
“Hey!”
“It’s my house, my rules, old man!”
Wow! Big her was kind of feisty and it was making Bucky smile.
“What do you have there?” She asked, looking at the small plastic bag that Bucky’s been carrying in his hand.
“Oh, I- this is for you.” He handed her the bag, cheeks burning as he was still brand new when it came to such gestures.
“Oreos! And wolfie!” She called out happily when she looked inside the bag, “thank you so much!” She squeezed the tips of his fingers, smiling at him like he’d gotten her a rare diamond.
When she let go of his hand to open the package and taste the cookies, Bucky felt fear settle in his chest at the idea of having lost her forever.
He watched her try to hide the hug she was giving the white stuffed wolf before slipping it to her curious dog, “careful, Corgi.”
She didn’t lecture or blame him about his treatment of her, yes, nor did she even bring up the week she stayed at his house, but would she be willing to forgive him? Would she give him another chance?
Instead of screaming at him, she was sitting him down on a comfortable couch that had a soft blanket draped over it and serving him tea and cake. What kind of angel was she?
“If you don’t like it, I’ll make you coffee. But taste it first,” she set the tray with tea cups and a plate with a couple of cake slices on the little wooden coffee table and Bucky knew the smell of this tray was the only thing missing from her living room.
Now it was all perfect. It suited her so well.
“I made lime key cake this morning so you’re in luck. It goes really well with earl grey,” she told him, trying to get him to talk, to tell her why he was at her place a week later at 9 in the evening.
But he only nodded.
She didn’t push him. She has done enough coaxing and enough pushing. She didn’t have to do that anymore. If Bucky wanted to talk, he would have to talk on his own.
But he didn’t.
An hour later, she was getting sleepy and the rain was pouring even harder.
“I— I better go.” He stood up, patting his pockets nervously as if to make sure his belongings were in place.
So he came all the way here for nothing? He found her house and rode on his motorcycle all the way here for nothing?
“No way, you can’t drive your motor cycle in this rain!”
“I’m a super soldier, I don’t get sick,” Bucky argued with a smile, heart swelling at the idea that she still cared for him.
“I don’t care. The roads are slippery. It’s dangerous!”
“But—”
“No buts. You can have my bed, let me show you the room,” she said, never giving him space for a reply as she led the way to her bedroom.
“You really don’t have to. I can take the couch.” Or the floor
“The couch is mine. Corgi cries at night and doesn’t like to sleep alone. He’s still just a puppy.”
“Why don’t you just move his crate to your bedroom?”
“Because there’s a system in this house, Sergeant. We’re disciplined people.” She smiled playfully, “good night.”
And just like that, Bucky was alone in her bedroom, with her bed and sheets and blankets, where all the pillows smelled like her hair shampoo and the air was light and sweet. He was in heaven.
Bucky took his jacket off, draping it over the armchair by her vanity and her perfumes caught his eye.
He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t help himself as he picked up the first bottle and neared it to his nose.
Oh, lord, was this sexy. He imagined himself eating her up if he was to smell this perfume on her skin. It was captivating and it went well with her playful grown up personality.
He tried another bottle and it was a softer scent that he knew all too well. It was the one she wore when she was staying at his house. It smelt angelic, soft and welcoming.
Bucky had to stop himself from going down the line of perfumes because he didn’t think he could keep going.
He’d better go to bed and try to catch a few hours of sleep before the mind attacks started.
Grabbing a pillow that smelled like her, Bucky made himself as comfortable as could be on the wooden floor next to her bed, draping her overly soft blanket on his body.
~
“You call it a disciplined house but you don’t even have a dining table,” Bucky teased as he helped her bring the rest of the plates to the coffee table.
He was right actually. She lied last night. She could easily take Corgi to the bedroom with her, but what kind of hospitality would that be to give Bucky the couch when it was his first time visiting?
“At least my coffee table has space for more than 2 noodle cups,” she teased right back, hardly biting a smile.
Bucky raised an eyebrow at her sassiness, smiling like an idiot at how easy she made everything.
Talking was easy around her. Existing was easy around her. Breathing was easy around her. And oh did he miss her.
“So…” she trailed, pouring orange juice in Bucky’s glass.
She couldn’t stay silent anymore. She had to understand why Bucky found her house and came to her after he’d clearly proven he didn’t want her. She wanted and tried to be the bigger person, but if he had something to say, she was ready to hear it now.
“I— I came here to say I’m sorry,” Bucky finally said the words that have been sitting on the back of his tongue for so long.
“Bucky…” she locked her eyes with his for a second, unable to read him, “you didn’t have to come all the way here. I didn’t tell Mrs. Morrison anything.”
The way she reassured him broke his heart. It was as if she wholeheartedly believed that all Bucky cared about was the final report.
But he cared about so much more. He cared about fixing this. He cared about her.
“I know. I did.”
“What?!”
“I told her everything.”
“Bucky— why?”
“I had to make it right.”
“Well, what did she say?” she chewed her lower lip nervously, worried everything has been ruined for Bucky.
“She made me serve a few hours at the institution and only when she got everyone’s approval did she agree to give me your address.”
“Everyone’s approval of what?” she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
“Of my storytelling skills,” Bucky replied proudly, putting some cheese on her plate for her when he noticed her freeze.
“Your storytelling— what?!” she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, a huge smile breaking on her face.
“I spent a few nights reading bedtime stories to the residents there and I’ll have you know I did a pretty good job, though most of them wanted lullabies so I stole some of yours—”
“Hold on! You, Bucky Barnes, read bedtime stories and sang lullabies to littles at the institution?”
“Yes, I did.” Bucky nodded with a shrug.
“You did all of this so you could have my address?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I missed you, doll.”
“Doll?” Her eyes instantly teared up at the sole use of the name coming from him.
“And to tell you that I got to meet everyone that was available at the same time you were and none of them could ever compare. They’re all amazing people, but none of them made me feel like you’ve made me feel in that short week,” Bucky admitted softly, eyes hesitant to leave his fingers.
“I was terrible to you and you didn’t deserve any of it. I’m sorry. I know now that I should’ve been better.”
“Bucky, it’s okay,” she said with a content smile, simply satisfied with his presence as she passed him the bread. That apology was genuinely enough for her.
“No, doll, it’s not. I— I did the opposite of everything a caregiver should’ve done. It's just… you made me nervous, scared.” Bucky admitted.
“I scared you?” she scoffed in surprise. She wasn’t expecting this one.
“Yes. The way you were fully yourself, the way you weren’t afraid to show it, the way you did the effort to relieve yourself of whatever you were suffering from, it all scared me. How you openly cried when you needed to. It scared me because I didn’t know how to be like you. I didn’t know how to choose trust and kindness again after everything that had happened to me. Your courage scared me.”
“Oh, Bucky.” Tears rolled down her face as she desperately felt the need to hold him and kiss every inch of him better, “why didn’t you talk to me? I would’ve understood.”
“I tried… that day… but talking about it made me wanna close up on myself even more. It made me more scared. It wasn’t easy. It isn’t easy. And I can’t help it,” Bucky’s voice trembled as he fought his own tears.
He couldn’t believe he said those words out loud to someone else.
She left her seat and went to sit next to Bucky on the couch, her hands finding his and holding onto them for dear life.
“But when I came home to an empty living room after dropping you off at the institution, I knew what I'd lost. I realized what an asshole I’ve been to you. And I missed you. I missed you so much when I closed the door and you weren’t on the couch looking at me,” he poured his heart out to her with tears in his eyes.
She squeezed his hand more, trying to hug his fingers with hers but they were too short to fully cover his hands.
“You don’t have to give me another chance, but I felt like I could’ve died if I didn’t tell you how sorry I was and am. I’m sorry I didn’t give myself time to understand you and appreciate you for everything that you were, doll. I’m sorry I was so stupid and let you slip away from my hands. I’m sorry I was undeserving of your kindness and softness and love,” Bucky told her with tears pouring down his face, matching hers as she finally got to listen to all that he had to say.
“I really am sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to be a good daddy to you and I’m sorry I didn’t try to learn. It’s all my fault because you, doll, deserve someone who would bust their ass trying for you,” Bucky sighed, “but if you’d let me, I’ll spend as much time as you’ll allow me doing that.”
“Thank you for finding me.” She threw herself in his arms and Bucky felt his soul come back to him as he held her tight to his body.
“Thank you for welcoming me back in despite everything I’ve put you through. I know I don’t deserve it.” Bucky squeezed her closer, the smell of her hair calming his senses.
“You’re welcome.” She pulled back to wipe his tears away, giving him a smile prettier than anything he’s ever seen, “now let’s eat before the eggs go cold.” She wiped her eyes quickly before grabbing the spoon and putting some eggs on Bucky’s plate.
“Does that smile mean you forgive me, doll?” Bucky asked hopefully.
“I forgive you, Sarge.” She smiled at him, what was in her heart showing in her eyes.
“You won’t regret it,” he promised, putting some food in his mouth to stop any upcoming tears.
They ate silently in peace for a second before Bucky spoke out.
“Seriously though, who was that Adam guy?!”
“Way to ruin a moment, Bucky,” she teased.
But Bucky didn’t smile. He remained silent waiting for her answer with a tiny frown.
“I told you he’s my best friend and he lives next door.”
 Bucky’s frown deepened slightly. So that man got to see her every day huh?
“With his wife,” she added, biting back a smile as she watched his face relax.
“Don’t toy with me like that, doll.”
“I couldn’t help it. This is all new to me and I’m having fun!”
“Does he come here a lot?”
“Yes, Bucky. It’s what friends do, they visit,” she laughed.
“I don’t see Sam that often and we’re fine,” he shrugged unconvincingly, making her laugh more.
“He’s a good man, you’ll come to like him. Plus, he helped me a lot those past weeks and took care of my garden and Corgi while I was away so I owe him.”
“So I’m seeing a farmer now?” Bucky teased.
“Oh look who’s not so quiet anymore!” she teased back with a giggle, “at least my fridge never runs out of tomatoes.”
“Can I ask you something?” Bucky asked, his face serious again.
She nodded in reply, a smile gracing her patient features.
“Why did it bother you so much when I told you to call me daddy?”
She hummed, letting go of her fork.
“It’s okay if you don’t wanna answ—”
“It made me feel like you were returning a favor. Doing something because you felt like you had to do it, like it was the right thing to do, but not because you really wanted it. Yes, I wanted to call you daddy with my whole heart, but only if you wanted it too. It hurt because at the time I knew you still hadn’t accepted me for who I was and was just saying that so you could repay me for the hug I was giving you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Bucky shock his head in remorse, “I will never understand how you managed to put up with me for a whole week.”
“It’s because I know what it’s like to feel unwanted, Bucky. I know what it feels like to be unloved and unaccepted, especially by those who should give you unconditional love.”
“Family?” Bucky asked with a sad smile.
She nodded with a similar smile, “I know what it’s like to be more than your pain and anger with others only seeing the snapping and frowning. Little me doesn’t want anyone else to feel unloved like that because she knows how bad it all is. So she gives. She’s patient and she’s kind and sometimes I don’t think I could’ve accessed that part of myself if it wasn’t for her.”
“How so?”
“Grown ups are more cautious because they always have the consequences to things like vulnerability right in front of their eyes. We’re more likely to be afraid to show our hearts because we know we could get hurt bad because of it. Little me isn’t scared of that. She wakes up brand new every day. She wears her heart on her sleeve and trusts her love to do the magic.”
“You’re an amazing person.” Bucky raised her hand to his lips to press a timid kiss without much thought, “I guess I have a lot to learn from you, doll.”
“Don’t say stuff like that!” She whined playfully, cheeks going hot as she turned away shyly, “plus, do you have a death wish?” She raised a playful eyebrow.
“It’s true though— what?”
“I didn’t give you permission to kiss me,” she teased, reminding him of the time she kissed his cheek on her first day at his house.
Bucky smiled sheepishly, whispering out an apology even though he knew she was joking.
She shook her head, still coughing as she ran to the bathroom, needing to find any sort of cold medicine. She knew what this was.
Bucky stopped himself when she started coughing abruptly.
She’s been coughing a little here and there since morning, but he didn’t think anything of it.
Bucky hurried behind her, “what’s wrong?”
In a second, she was bending forward, coughing her heart out.
“Are you okay?!”
She shook her head again, trying to calm down, “I thought it was just a sore throat but it’s getting worse.”
“Let’s get you to the doctor,” Bucky said, worry eating away inside his chest as he watched her cough more.
He quickly grabbed her jacket and keys, leading her out to her car.
~
“It’s because I let you sleep on the couch, isn’t it? You got cold,” Bucky said, running his fingers through his hair nervously as he paced around the room.
He hasn’t stopped blaming himself since they’d returned from the doctor’s. She caught a bad flu and Bucky quickly believed it was his fault.
“No, Bucky. It’s not that.”
“You don’t have to defend me, doll. It’s because of me. I’ve managed to hurt you again. And I don’t even use beds. I should’ve never let you sleep out here.”
“Hey! Calm down please! It’s not you... It was me.” She released a sigh, biting her lip.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when the rain got even worse after you went to bed. I thought I’d come out and cover the motorcycle so that it wouldn’t get all muddy and you’d have a hard time cleaning it,” she explained, fiddling with her fingers.
“That’s still because of me,” Bucky sighed.
“Come on, it’s not like you made me!” Her hoarse voice tried to reassure.
Bucky only ran his fingers through his messy hair again, not knowing what to say or do to make this one right.
“Bucky, please, I’m sick. All I want is for you to stay beside me and not blame yourself.” Her frown was back to her beautiful face and Bucky didn’t like it, “can you do that for me?”
He didn’t like how sick and scratchy her voice sounded either so he wasn’t about to make talk more with a throat like that.
“I’ve already proven I suck at taking care of you, doll,” Bucky chuckled sadly.
“Do you want forgiveness or not?” She joked.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’m right here.”
“Is it dangerous for you though? I don’t want you to get it too.”
“I can’t get sick, remember?” Bucky smiled, rubbing her back lightly, “I’m your nurse now.”
“Is that so?” She giggled.
“Yeah.” He nodded confidently.
“You’re definitely not dressed for it,” she teased, giving him her tongue.
“Oh, are you into that kinda thing, doll?” He raised an eyebrow, a playful smile she has never seen before on his pink lips.
“Bucky!” she squealed, hiding her face with the covers, making Bucky laugh.
The sound was heaven to her ears and despite being awfully sick, she couldn’t wish for a better outcome for Bucky’s visit.
“Shit, here it comes again,” she gulped before starting another fit of harsh coughing.
“Bad word,” he whispered to her, making her smile tiredly as she continued coughing.
~
“I don’t wanna go,” she whined as Bucky gently forced her arm inside her jacket.
“We have to. You need your shots to get better.” Bucky covered her head with the hood of her jacket to make sure she was warm before leading her outside.
“But shots hurt,” she whined more with teary eyes.
“I’ll be right there, remember?”
“That’s not gonna do anything!” She whined further.
“Hey!” Bucky pretended to be hurt as he helped her inside the car.
She sighed with a grateful smile, “fine, hugs or I don’t go.”
“Hugs it is.” Bucky smiled back, taking seat next to her before starting the car.
~
“No, no, no, please. I’m not ready, I don’t want it. Give me pills instead, give me pills,” she cried in Bucky’s chest as she saw the doctor get the shot ready.
“Doll, it’s okay, I promise. I got you,” Bucky said, feeling as helpless as ever.
He wished he could get the shots for her, but it wasn’t possible. He could feel something different about her. She looked like she was slipping into her little headspace and it made Bucky nervous, oh so nervous, that he might mess up and not be able to deal with her again.
She barely calmed down enough for Bucky to help her small hands lower her pants just enough for the doctor to have space to push the needle in.
She moaned in pain as she hid her face in Bucky’s chest, crying for real when she felt the strong medicine inside the needle spread inside her.
“It stings. It stings bad,” she sobbed, hands clutching Bucky’s shirt as he covered her behind again and made sure she was properly covered.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We’re going home now, it’s over,” Bucky cooed, rubbing and patting her back with his big hand.
“It hurts, daddy,” she sniveled in his ear and Bucky froze.
Those innocent teary eyes looking up at him like that made him feel a lot of things. But most importantly, they made him feel like he could do this. He could take care of this sweet girl without messing up this time. Her love would show him how.
“I got you, doll. Daddy’s got you.”
~
part V
~
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barcaatthemoon · 18 days
Text
close to you || lia walti x reader ||
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you have some trouble in keeping things friendly with lia.
somehow, things had been easier whenever lia and caitlin were together. back then, you knew that you had no chance with lia. the smiles, soft touches, and comforting presence were nothing more than that of a close friend. then, caitlin broke lia's heart, and suddenly, a little voice in the back of your heart started talking again.
it was no secret to anybody how you felt about lia. even the woman in question knew about your feelings. the two of you hadn't really spoken about it after her initial rejection of you, but you knew that she hadn't just forgotten. you swore sometimes that she had to have been thinking about it whenever she'd give you certain sad looks.
"you know that this can't be healthy," leah said as she put her arm around your shoulders. the partial team bonding night at her place had become one of your favorites. tonight, leah had broken out a few bottles of some pretty nice alcohol, allowing for you and your friends to get a good buzz. "why haven't you tried again with lia?"
"because she already told me that we're just friends, and i'd rather have her as my friend than be forced into caitlin and katie jail," you told her. technically, there was no "caitlin and katie jail" but the two had a tendency not to join in on team bonding nights. especially ones that they knew would make it hard to avoid lia.
"will you please reconsider because i can't spend every morning after we all hang out picking up the pieces of your heart," leah said. there was a bit of a teasing lilt to her voice, one that barely managed to mask the genuine concern.
"whatever," you grumbled as you stormed away from her. leah sighed as she watched you pop open a bottle and take a very large swig from it. you walked off in the opposite direction of the living room, holing yourself up in leah's guest room. it was where you always stayed whenever the team got together.
tonight, everybody had been drinking enough to warrant a sleepover, so you were sure that someone would bunk with you. you didn't mind sharing a bed with most of the girls on the team. they were your friends, and you were a naturally very affectionate person. sometimes, your teammates joked that you'd be happier playing somewhere like barcelona with all the spanish girls.
you fell asleep cradling an empty bottle of tequila in your arms. lia frowned as she entered the room to see you like that. even in your sleep, it was obvious that you were hurting badly. lia had no idea how to help you. the two of you were still close physically, but you didn't talk to her like you used to. she didn't know if it was anything that she had done, but lia couldn't help but feel responsible for the way you had shut everybody out a little.
"i miss you," lia whispered as she climbed into the bed next to you. she moved the bottle out of your arms and set it on the floor. you whined and reached out for something new to hold. lia let you wrap your arms around her as you settled down with your head on her chest. "goodnight, sweetie."
in the morning, you woke up with your face completely buried in lia's chest. her hands scratched lightly at your scalp, even after she felt you start to stir a bit. lia had no idea how long it had been since she woke up, but having you in her arms felt nice. she hadn't felt at peace like that in a long time, not since she was with caitlin.
"shit, what time is it?" you asked, your voice thick with sleep. you lifted your head up, but all of your movements were groggy. lia smiled as she watched you try to gather your bearings. it was obvious that you were hungover, possibly even still a bit drunk. lia was quick to move, attempting to catch you whenever you stood up too quickly.
"careful, we've got enough injuries already," lia joked. you sent her a thankful nod as you walked towards the door. she let you go off to the bathroom, but she didn't move from the bed, hopeful that you'd return to her. lia sat there waiting for nearly an hour before she gave up and started to look for you.
"you didn't see her last night, bear, she was upset. all she wanted was to go check on you. i felt bad making her stay for as long as i did," leah said. lia got the feeling that you were talking about her. she knew that she should have made her presence known, but she was curious.
"that doesn't matter leah. she's a caring friend. that's what she told me we are, so that's just what we'll be. so please just fucking drop it, okay!" you hadn't meant to shout. leah stood there dumbfounded for a moment. in all of the time that you'd known each other, you had never raised your voice at her in anger. you realized what you did and stormed out of leah's apartment, not even bothering to put your shoes on.
"w-what were you talking about?" lia asked softly. leah's head shot up as she looked at the midfielder. there was a look of fear on her face, as if she had accidentally just outed your feelings for lia. "is (y/n) okay?"
"bear will be fine, she's just upset. i think you should talk to her though, tell her about your feelings, lia," leah said. lia nodded, knowing exactly what she needed to do.
"hi bear." it was easy enough for lia to find you. you hadn't made it very far without shoes on, which lia had been kind enough to bring you.
"you never call me that," you said with a small frown. lia shrugged as she sat next to you. "lia, i need to tell you something, but i don't want to."
"it's okay, whatever you need to say is okay. something has been eating you up inside, and i'll do whatever i can to help you because i love you," lia told you. you couldn't meet her eyes, so you missed the way that she looked at you as she confessed her feelings towards you. being the oblivious idiot that you were, you automatically assumed that lia meant in a platonic way. you assumed that she loved you the way that you loved leah or alessia.
"we've been friends since we signed, but i can't be just friends anymore. i could barely do it before, but you had caitlin. i've never really had anyone because you've always been in the corner of my mind whenever i go on dates or try to hook up. i wish that it as easy again, like when i was in germany, but i can't stop thinking about you and how fucking happy you'd make me if you'd let me be yours."
lia looked down at her hands, suddenly overcome with guilt. she had known that you had feelings for her once upon a time, but lia hadn't expected them to still be so prevalent. lia forced herself to take a breath before she finally spoke up, "i love you, (y/n). i love you in a way that is anything but friendly. i don't think that we were ever entirely just friends because i have always felt this way about you. all i've ever wanted was to be closer to you, even if i didn't understand what it was at the time."
"does that mean that maybe there's a chance for us to be more than what we have been?" you asked. lia nodded as she placed a hand on your jaw, cradling it gently. "please don't break my heart, i don't think i could handle it."
"i would never," lia promised you. with that, you leaned forward just enough to press your lips to hers. lia kissed you back gently, almost as if she was afraid that you'd shatter in her hands. the two of you broke the kiss and rested your foreheads against each other's. it was nice to just sit there for a moment staring into each other's eyes, at least it was until leah came outside yelling for you.
"will you please come inside and finish breakfast bear, i'm starving!"
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kookslastbutton · 9 months
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in your arms ༓ jjk (m)
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✑ Summary: You wake up next to your boyfriend for the first time since moving in with him.
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Pairing: boyfriend!jungkook x girlfriend!reader
AU/Genres: pwp, smut, fluff, established relationship, one shot
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 1,680
Warnings: cussing, jk teasing oc, soft pouty jk, of is restless sleeper which makes jk lowkey sad, sexual content
sexual warnings: dom!jungkook, sub!reader, morning s*x, kind of rough s*x, unprotected s*x (Don't be like them!) , d*try talk, m*ssionary, b*gging, b**b kink?, sl*t calling once (tame)
Now Playing: A Thousand Years
A/N: needed dometic koo after listening to piano guys play thousand years. I have not seen Twilight but I like the sound track lol. Hope you enjoy! 💞
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"You snore." Is the first thing he says to you, eyeing you from the other side of the bed. He's downright adorable with half his face tucked behind the fluffy comforter.
"I do?" You roll on your side. The soft linen brushing against your skin reminds you of your bare state. Last night was the first time you spent the night at Jungook's since moving in. He was a little eager to get you in his bed to say the least.
Jungkook nods in response, eyes still barely peaking out from the covers.
"But...I don't." You smile sheepishly. Many things you're known for doing in bed but snoring was not one of them. You're sure of it. "I definitely don't," you repeat in disbelief. "You're being a little shit again aren't you?"
A grin slowly spreads on your boyfriend's face—his eyes revealing all. What a menace as always. His playful spirit makes you giggle.
"Did you sleep okay?" You yawn and rub your tired eyes.
Jungkook shimmies himself closer to you. His nose is inches away from your the nape of your neck. "No," he says. "You were so far away from me the whole night."
The comforter he was tugging on earlier is now folded under his arm. From this angle, you can trace every muscle on his inked arm, so you do, with the tips of your fingers. "I'm sorry koo, I'm such a restless sleeper. I didn't kick you did I?"
Since a child you've never been able to sleep in one position. You were always starfishing, flopping from side to side, or genuinely just in the twistiest pretzel-like positions possible. Now and then you'd punch or knee at the bed too, depending how vivid the dream you were having was. That's why for the majority of your life you've slept alone.
Jungkook on the otherhand could sleep anywhere in the same position. All he needed was a good grip on his blankets or in this case, you, and he'd fall fast alseep until the morning. But you were not an easy one to snuggle with, causing him to pout until all hours of the night.
"I'm okay, but can we try cuddling or spooning again tonight? Wanna fall asleep with the girl of my dreams in my arms." Your heart does about ten somersaults. Ever since you hit 6 months, Jungkook's been begging you to move in with him and now that you've finally agreed, he's been coordinating your new living conditions down to the last detail.
He's also stopped refering to the apartment as his—it's now our apartment, our haven, our home.
You remove your hand from his arm to fluff through his messy hair. Something about the silky texture makes you unable to stop yourself. Jungkook likes it too. "Of course we can." Your face drops a few shades. "But I'm not sure if it'll be any different from last night. I might hurt you."
In that very moment your boyfriend props himself up on an elbow and leans himself over your body just enough for you to fall on your back. "No you won't," he insists. The same inked arm curls around your waist, pushing your chests together. "I'll hold ya down this time."
Your cheeks warm up from the gesture.
"What's got you blushing doll?"
"Just that you're everything I was hoping for and more." You wrap both arms around his neck, his lips ghosting over yours. "I love you so much." It's hardly a whisper but Jungkook has no trouble hearing.
"You know I was thinking similar," he says, placing a light kiss to the side of your neck. You hum. This will likely be a regular occurrence now that it's Jungkook you'll be waking up to every morning. His affection knows no bounds.
"You're all mine," he continues, tracing circles on your waist with his thumb. Even with the blankets shielding your naked body from his, you feel every imprint of his touch. "I'm all yours, too. And even if you do end up kicking me in your sleep, I'll alway be back for more because I'm in love with you....just try not to kick my dick though, that would kinda be a bummer for both of us." He shoots a quick wink and you snort.
"Sorry," you cover part of your face. "That was so ugly of me." Jungkook's heard you snort a thousand times but you've still a little self conscious about it.
"Its cute."
"Stop, you dont have to say that."
"It's cute because I like making you laugh and seeing you happy make—"
"Makes you horny." You finish the sentence, cackling at his suddenly doe-eyed expression. "I can feel your erection on my thigh Kook."
"Oh," he looks down at himself. Did he think he was being smooth and all trying to hide it and all? You're boyfriend's cute but a good liar he is not. "Well can I stick it in or not?" He looks at you again, expectanty.
"Kook!" You just had sex last night and to be honest you're a little sore from it as well as flopping around in your sleep all night.
Jungkook however is imposible to refuse with his pouty lips and big, ferocious eyes. He simultaneously wants to cuddle you to death and fuck you silly every second of the day. You ask him which he wants to do, he will always want both....at least twice in one go.
"I'll make it quick, promise. And it'll feel good too."
Once you give the okay Jungkook climbs on top of you from under the sheets. You spread your thighs, allowing him to slip in—which he easily does given the fact that he wasn't the only one all worked up.
"Fuck," he breaths above you, hands gripping the mattress on either side of your head. "Such a perfect pussy you know that? Always so wet for me."
"Yes Kook," you let out a small whine. Jungkook's dick always makes you so full so fast. "Fuck me."
"You want it huh?" He teases even though it's him who started this. "You want my big cock to stretch your tiny pussy? Make you scream? Say you want it baby. Need to hear it from you."
You concede to your boyfriend and tell him how much you want it. "Mhm please, need your cock Kook. Want it so bad, want it to make me come, please."
"Greedy little thing aren't you," he seethes, thrusting into you at a slow pace. "Just got fucked three times last night and still want more. What does that make you hm?"
"A slut." Jungkook growls when the words leave your lips. He ends up fucking into you faster, loving the sight of your breasts bounce up and down at the quickened pace. You move to grip onto both boobs but he growls again, letting you know his obvious disapproval.
"Wrap your legs around my waist," he grunts. "And don't you dare think about covering yourself up. Wanna see every bit of you."
You do as he says and he sinks further in you, cock finding that sweet spot at the same time. "Fuckfuckfuck," he chants. "So needy aren't you? Swallowing my cock like it's nothing for your pussy. Who taught you how to take cock this well huh?"
"Jungkook!" You scream when you feel the knot get stronger in the pit of your stomach. You boyfriend smirks and starts kissing up and down your neck.
"Say it again. Who taught you to take cock this well?"
"You—you Jungkook, you did. Please, gonna come soon." You claw his muscular back, knowing your high is about to come swift and fast. You hope to god he lets you come too. Last night he made you wait and wait. You had to keep begging him until he was fully satisfied. You squirted a lot and it was hot but you can't do that again so soon.
"Come for me baby," he coos. "Show me what I taught you back when all you knew how to do was give head. Gonna soak my cock now aren't you? I'm already so wet from your slick, fuck."
"Jungkook—oh god," you moan one last time before finally releasing. Your boyfriend let's out a deep, breathy groan and continues to thrust into for the sake of his own high. "Kook, please, please tell me you're close. It's almost too much."
"Shit just hold tight for me a little longer baby, I'm so close." He fucks into a few more times then spills himself into your warm cunt. You both bask in post-orgasmic blish until your boyfriend leans his head down to capture your lips. It's a bit of a sloppy kiss but still fiery and passionate.
He slips off you after a minute or two of making out, hair sticking to his forehead. "I'm so glad you said yes to moving in."
"What? You just want me here for the sex?" You pant, playful glimmer in your eye.
Jungkook shakes his head. "Of course not." You move to rest your head on his shoulder. "The sarcasm's nice too."
You roll your eyes. You'll be doing this all over again tonight. Maybe he'll be able to keep you in his arms tonight this time—you truly hope.
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A/N: thanks for reading! Lmk your thoughts 💞
Masterlist
no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
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rafeandonlyrafe · 6 months
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insatiable
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words: 1.1k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, lots of female receiving oral, excessive use of italics idk i was feeling it
rafe has been incessant all day, insatiable. you honestly have no clue what has gotten into him. he woke you up with his head between your legs, tongue licking sloppily at you, and he didn’t let up until he’d wrung two orgasms from your body. he didn’t even care about his own, getting up to get you a quick shower and then breakfast instead, not even mentioning getting himself off. 
it’s unlike rafe. you know he likes to eat you out, but it’s always in the lead up to sex. you shrugged the morning off, until it was only a few hours later that he was peeling your shorts off as you sat on the couch, making the most of your saturday by watching a film.
you thought okay, for sure this time, but again, rafe licked and sucked you to orgasm, then got back on the couch to cuddle. it wasn’t like he was unaffected, you could certainly feel it behind you as you snuggled into his warmth, but he made to move to further advance.
you start to wonder if something is wrong when after you eat lunch, rafe sets you on the table and spreads your legs, feasting on you right there. when you let out another scream, another press of your thighs together, signaling your orgasm, rafe pulls up, satisfied smirk on his face. you pull him into a strong kiss, tasting yourself on his lips, but then he pulls away, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead before clearing the dishes.
you decide maybe going out would break this cycle, so you insist on heading out to shop. you make it through one store, a couple shopping bags in hand, but when you go to load them into the back seat, rafe pushes you to get in too, taking advantage of the tinted windows as he lays you down, spreading your legs for him as he eats you out again. this time he at least uses his fingers as well, giving your a hole a little relief as it craves his cock.
you don’t want to complain. it’s not like it’s a problem, but your clit is starting to get sensitive and it’s not even dinner time yet. you’re not exactly traditionalists, but you usually have sex after dinner, in your own bed. rafe is adventurous, willing to take you anywhere, but it’s just by nature that’s when you have the most time.
you finally call out rafe when he tries to eat you out again after you bring in the shopping bags. he dumps them in the entryway, pushing you against the wall and sinking to his knees. what has gotten into you you say with a laugh. you like giving rafe head, but even on the best days it’s only maybe three times, and your clit genuinely is starting to get sore. like rafe knows it, he ignores the question, and gives your clit the softest licks, building you up slowly until he has to use his hands to support your weight, unable to stand on your own. he finishes you off, careful to pick you up and carry you upstairs to your master bedroom. he cuddles and kisses you as the bath fills with warm water, before depositing you inside.
seriously you hum, running your wet hand through rafes hair, unable to resist the soft strands, even as he sits on the stool outside the bath, what has gotten into you. rafes head drops, but you can see the soft smile on his face, a plastered one, one that means hes about to tell you a lie. i cant just treat my girl?
you give him a stern look. rafe sighs, unable to make eye contact, looking everywhere but you. i heard you talking the other day. your mind runs through your recent conversations. to your friend about how head can just be head and doesn’t have to lead to sex. i never do that for you. you give me just a blowjob all the time. so i’m trying to make up for it even though my dick fucking hurts every time i see your pretty pussy and don’t get to fuck it.
you can’t help but laugh at rafe. he sounds so dejected and sad, talking about missing your pussy. rafey. you coo, running your hand over his thigh from your lower spot in the bath. i don’t mind. i would tell you if i minded. that was about my friend specifically because her man never satisfies her properly. that’s not us. 
can you… can you get out of the fucking bath so i can fuck you now? rafe asks, and you nod. he helps you stand, doing a shoddy job of drying you off with the fluffy towel, before taking you into the bedroom, depositing your naked body on the bed. rafe strips, and his cock is painfully hard, standing at attention, tip angry and red. despite the precum glistening on his tip, rafe still slots himself between your legs.
this head is the best yet, knowing for sure it’s going to lead to rafe fucking you. he licks, sucks, slurps, right up until you’re going to cum, and then he pulls away, quicky moving up the bed to easily slide his cock into you. your orgasm rushes through your body, before rafe can even pull back out to start thrusting, just the feel of him alone sends you over the edge.
rafes ego inflates a little at this, keeping his cock deep inside as your body works through it. you give him the nod to move, and rafe starts to thrust hard. he’s merciless, using your body to get himself off. he knows you struggle to cum without clit stimulation, but for the first time all day he completely ignores it, hands tight on your hips as he thrusts over and over and over.
your eyes roll back in your head when you feel rafes cock swell. you know that he’s not lasting much longer. you don’t even care about your own orgasm, you’ve had enough for one day, you just want to help rafe to his, to feel his cum inside of you. you clench your pussy around him, and that seems to does it, rafe burying himself deep inside of you as his cum spurts inside of you, painting your walls.  he pulls out and collapses next to you, letting out a breath that sounds like relief. you roll onto your side so you can look at him, smiling at his satisfied face as you rub a hand up and down his wide back. rafe leans to give you a kiss, letting your lips glide over each other. he pulls away with a smirk, slinking down your body. oh god. again.
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octoberclidan · 7 months
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It's Just Sam
Request: ok im not used to requesting yet so sorry if im doing this wrong but im sad so i need me some early seasons sam fluff (MAYBBBE EVEN SMUT🫢)like reader jokingly calling him sammy and he starts acting all weird or something (andd somehow leads to smut?)
Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader
Note: This is 18+, do not read if you're under 18.
Masterlist
Story:
"So, it's all over now?" [Y/N] asked, wrapping her cardigan tight around her, the cold night air forming goosebumps on her arms.
"Should be, you saw him burn up, right?" Sam asked, looking up to the room of the hotel where they'd all just spent an hour being thrown around by a vengeful spirit.
"Yeah... yeah I did". She chuckled, not quite believing the night she'd just had.
"You were awesome, the way you dodged him and figured out it was the painting, you handled that like a pro". Dean smiled at her and clapped her back, causing her to stumbled forwards a little. "Sorry". He grimaced but she laughed it off.
"It's okay, nothing compared to being thrown around by a ghost for an hour in a little hotel room".
"How's your arm?" Sam asked, looking at how she was holding it with her other hand.
"It's fine, I think it'll just bruise. Nothing broken anyway. How's your back? You got thrown against that wall pretty hard".
"Oh he's used to it, right Sammy?" Dean smirked at him.
"Sammy?" She asked, looking up at the man who had just saved her life. They had burst into her room just as the ghost had appeared, time to exchange names hadn't really come up yet. Now that she was looking at him properly, she could see genuine concern in his face. He was extremely handsome, very tall, very broad, but was crossing his arms as if he was trying to make himself seem smaller, maybe less intimidating than he naturally came across as.
He cleared his throat, glaring at Dean. "It's uh, Sam. It's just Sam. Dean's my brother, it's just him who calls me that".
"Oh.. I'm sorry". She blushed and looked away from him.
"No don't be, it's fine". His cheeks now blushing too. "You should get some rest, I bet you're tired".
She shivered from the cold and looked up to her hotel room, the light still on. "Yeah... not sure how much sleep I'm gonna get after all that, plus the smell of burnt paint". She laughed, the heat from her breath fogging the air.
"Maybe they have another room you could switch to?" Sam suggested but Dean hit him on the back of his head, [Y/N] missing the interaction as she continued to stare up at the room, visions of the ghost still at the front of her mind.
"Or Sammy could stay with you, protect you, he's good at that". If she'd been more familiar with Dean's voice she would've heard the smirk through it. "I'm gonna head out to the bar and I don't intend on being back until morning, so there's a spare bed in our motel room just down the road. Not as fancy as this hotel but as motels go, it's not bad". She turned around to see him wink at her.
"I wouldn't want to intrude, I could-"
"You wouldn't be intruding!" Sam cut her off quickly. A little bit too quickly. He cleared his throat again, and avoided Dean's direction, though he could already see Dean's smirk very clearly in his mind. "I mean, you probably wouldn't get much sleep staying here tonight, and the motel isn't that bad. I'm sure you have questions too, I don't mind answering them?"
"Oh, well yeah, if you really don't mind then that would be nice". She smiled at Sam and he nodded at her, visibly relaxing and now hopeful that he didn't come across as too enthusiastic.
"We'll help you get your stuff, then I need a drink". Dean clapped Sam's shoulder and pressed his hand to the small of [Y/N]'s back, pushing them in front of him to stand beside each other as he guided them back through to the hotel's reception. Sam's arm brushed against [Y/N]'s and he mumbled a 'sorry', looking down at her and rolling his eyes back to his brother, smiling when [Y/N] giggled at him.
***
"Sorry again about Dean". Sam said as he opened the door to the motel room. He had [Y/N]'s bag over his shoulder and she followed behind him, not being able to help her eyes wander across the large expanse of his back. His jacket and t-shirt had rucked up a bit from the bag and she could see tanned skin just above the waistband of his jeans.
"It's okay". She said as she closed the door behind them. Sam let the bag down on one of the beds and went to sit on the other, facing her. "Thanks for everything". She breathed out as she walked to the bed with her bag on it, sitting down beside it and facing Sam. "So, this is what you guys do? Kill ghosts?"
"And monsters, demons, anything that hurts people really". He shrugged casually, and she widened her eyes at how nonchalant he was about it.
"All of that is in this small town?"
"No, no we travel around. We're actually kinda looking for our dad at the moment, we just take on cases as we come across them".
She sat there for a moment, taking it in. Just an hour ago she had no idea that anything supernatural existed, and now she was sitting opposite a guy who hunted supernatural beings for a living. "How long have you been doing this? You and your brother?" She asked and he looked away, almost a look of shame on his face.
"My mom died when I was a baby, Dean was four. Demon. My dad's been hunting it down ever since, so I guess I've been in it pretty much my whole life. Except, I spent four years in college, Dean came to get me a few months ago". She raised an eyebrow at this.
"You went to college? Like, to study the supernatural or something?"
"No". Sam chuckled. "I was studying law actually". He looked back to her and smiled sadly. "Wasn't meant to be. This is my life, me and Dean. Saving people, hunting things, the family business, as he says anyway". He sighed, as if he was relieved to have someone to explain it to. "What about you? What brings you here?"
"This is just a stop, I'm on my way home from staying with a friend for a few weeks. I should be home tomorrow afternoon". She covered her mouth as she yawned. "I think I should get some sleep, I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow". He nodded as she said this.
"You should use the bathroom first then". He said and she stood up, smiling at him before grabbing her bag and heading to the bathroom. She closed the lid on the toilet and sat on it, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. She wasn't actually that tired, but looking at Sam for so long was difficult. He was incredibly attractive, genuine, and big. If she'd sat in front of him for any longer she would've found it difficult to hide the fact that she'd been pressing her legs together, trying to relieve some tension. She felt ridiculous. She'd just found out about the supernatural, had been thrown around by a ghost, saved by two strangers, and was now alone in a motel room with one of them, and all she could think about was touching his skin. She imagined how his hair would feel between her fingers, how his lips would feel on his neck, what he tasted like...
"[Y/N]"? Sam's muffled voice travelled through the door as he knocked on it. She shook her head and cleared her throat.
"Yeah?"
"You okay in there?"
"Yeah... yeah give me a minute".
"Take your time, just checking on you". She stood up and looked into the mirror above the sink. Just checking on you, she added 'considerate' to her list of adjective for Sam. She quickly turned on the tap and splashed some cold water into her face in an attempt to calm herself down. She stripped out of her clothes and rummaged through her bag for her pyjamas, setting them on the counter as she pulled out her toiletries. She scooped up her hair onto the top of her head, securing it there as she stepped into the shower. She was pleasantly surprised to find the water hot, making sure to make it quick and not use it all up.
Once she was washed and into her pyjamas, which consisted of a loose t-shirt and shorts, she left the room and walked past Sam to her bed. He looked up at her as she walked by and he swallowed nervously, trying not to stare at her bare legs or how the baggy shirt left part of her shoulder exposed. He quickly excused himself to the bathroom, and she lay back on the bed, her mind once again wandering, imagining what the room she'd just been in now looked like with Sam in there. She imagined how the water looked dripping from his body, how he'd spread the soap over his torso, his legs, his arms. She let out a shaky breath as she pictured what was happening just beyond the thin wooden door between them.
She was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of the door unlocking, and she tried not to stare as Sam stepped out, dressed in jeans and a new t-shirt which just about fit, apart from his arms, where it hugged his muscles a little too tight. Droplets of water dripped from his hair onto his shoulder as he sat down on his bed, looking straight at [Y/N], watching her as she looked at his body, no longer able to stop herself. He chuckled and this caught her attention, pulling her gaze up to his face, where she noted his dimples before locking eyes with him. "What you thinking about?" He asked, grinning at her. She blushed and swallowed, looking away and shaking her head.
"Sorry".
"Don't be. I should take a look at that arm, just to check it". He said as he stood up to cross over to her bed, sitting on the edge of it and reaching his hand out to her. She sat up and reached towards him. He lifted her arm and placed it in his hand. He was warm, safe. He looked it over and gently turned it over, a look of concentration on his face as he examined it. "Just a bruise. Dean was right, you were great in there".
"You think?" She asked quietly, her arm still in Sam's hand.
"Yeah, a lot of people freeze. You didn't, you listened to us and figured out what needed to burn. It was refreshing". His thumb now lightly glided over her skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps as it did. "Are you cold?" He asked as he saw her try to hide a shiver.
"A little".
"Why don't you get under the covers then and get some sleep, I'll help you with your stuff in the morning". He smiled and let go of her arm before getting up, giving her space to pull back her covers and slide in.
"Thank you again, for everything. I can't imagine what would have happened if you two hadn't shown up when you had". She looked up to him as he sat back down on her bed.
"You're safe now". He smiled. He leaned over cautiously, giving her time to move away, and pressed his lips to her forehead. Without thinking she reached up and lightly touched his cheek as he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. She absentmindedly stroked his jaw, slightly scratchy from the light shadow of stubble on it. When he made no indication of pulling away farther, her thumb lightly skimmed his lower lip, and he brought his hand up to rest on her cheek, returning the favour. He kissed her thumb, keeping eye contact with her.
"Sam". She whispered, not calling to him, not trying to get his attention, just liking the feel of his name on her lips. She slipped her hand to the back of his neck, letting his damp hair slip through her fingers as she made an attempt to pull him closer. He obliged, leaning down so his lips hovered over hers. They closed their eyes as their lips touched, both of them slightly hesitant. She licked at his lips and he immediately let her in, deepening the kiss as their tongues worked together. Her grip in his hair tightened and he groaned, pushing her hands around her back and pulling her up, letting the covers slide off and lifting her, putting his hand under her knee to pull her over onto his lap so she was straddling him. His hands rested on her hips, slowly encouraging her to grind against him as she broke the kiss, kissing down his jaw and settling into his neck where she kissed and licked. He leaned his head to the side, giving her more access as he pushed one of his hands under her t-shirt, grabbing her waist.
"I want to feel you". She whispered into his ear as her hands trailed down his sides to the hem of his t-shirt. He threw his head back and groaned before leaning in to kiss her jaw.
"Take it off then". He mumbled into her skin. She grabbed his shirt and pulled up until she couldn't reach anymore, then he helped and threw it into a corner of the room. She sat back in his lap and placed her hands onto his chest, feeling his heart beat quickly beneath them. Slowly, she let her hands fall down his chest, feeling the muscles in his abdomen tense as she glided over them. He shivered as she reached his waistband, his skin warm under her finger tips. He grabbed her hands and placed them over his belt. "Take it off". He whispered into her ear, returning his hands to her waist as she began to unbuckle his belt. Once his belt was off, he pushed her shirt up and over her head, immediately reaching around to unclasp her bra, leaving her in just her shorts. He stared at her for a moment, blush slowly creeping onto his cheeks as he thought about the situation he was in. "You're beautiful". He tentatively raised a hand to grab a boob, the other resting on her hip, one of his fingers dipping into her waistband. She returned to his neck as he felt her, moaning as she kissed up along his jaw and finally settled on his lips again. She could feel him hard beneath her as she rocked her hips back and forth over him.
"I need more". He decided as he flipped her over onto the bed and crawled on top of her, kissing up her stomach and between her breasts, up along her neck and jaw to her lips. She clung onto his shoulders as he reached down and pushed her shorts down. "Can I have more?" He whispered into her mouth and she nodded immediately.
"You can have whatever you want, Sam". She kicked off her shorts and spread her legs for him. His fingers danced around the top of her panties before they dipped inside. He groaned at the wetness and continued to kiss her as he pushed a finger inside, feeling the warmth and softness of her. "Sam". She moaned as he used his thumb to brush against her clit. He continued to work her up, slipping another finger inside, and then another, hitting just the right spot inside her. When he felt her tighten up he'd pull away for a moment, smiling as she whimpered, before working her back up again. "I want to feel you too". She moaned after his third go at edging her. He pushed himself off her and stood up. She looked up as he stood between her legs and pushed his jeans and boxers down in one go, his cock standing up against his stomach as he stepped out of his clothes. She quickly pulled her panties down and kicked them off as Sam leaned over to the bag on his bed, pulling out a little silver foil.
"We don't have to do everything if you don't want to, just let me know". He said as he lay the foil down on the bed and pulled her up into a sitting position. He remained standing between her legs as she looked over his body. "You can touch me, if you want". He said as he tucked her hair behind her ear. She nodded and reached forward, closing her hand around him and smiling as he twitched against her touch. She began to slowly pump him up and down, twisting slightly, brushing her thumb over his slit to collect some of the precum and spread it over his length. "That feels amazing". He groaned as he knocked his head back, starting to thrust into her hand. She leaned forwards and licked him from the base to the tip. "Fuck". He muttered as he looked down at her. She knew he'd taste good, and looking up at the pleasure on his face just made her more eager to continue. She took him completely into her mouth, hollowing her cheeks as she continued to lick around him. He grabbed her hair and held it back as she blew him, enjoying every moment until he pulled her off him. "I won't last if you keep that up, I want to be inside you".
"I want that too". She wiped her mouth quickly and pushed herself back onto the bed as he grabbed the foil. He tore it open with his teeth as if it was something he did every day, and for the first time that night, she wondered just how many times he'd slept with the girl he'd saved. She quickly pushed that out of her head as she watched him roll the condom on, pinching the tip before crawling back over her. He rubbed his tip against her entrance a couple of times before looking into her eyes. "Are you good?" He asked and she nodded, keeping eye contact with him as he slowly pushed inside her, pulling a moan from her lips. "Fuck... you feel good". He chuckled quietly as he leaned down to kiss her. "Can I move?" He asked as he pecked the corner of her mouth. She quickly nodded and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even closer. He kissed her again as he pulled out, leaving just the head inside before thrusting back in. They kissed each other as Sam rocked his hips into her, quickly slipping into a steady pace. He reached down to circle her clit as he kissed her neck and she gasped at the sensation.
She could feel the pressure building back up again, stronger than before now that Sam was filling her, hitting the right spot with each thrust, giving her clit just the right amount of attention. She lightly bit his earlobe and kissed his jaw as he remained nestled into her neck, the vibrations from his moans spreading throughout her. They began to moan each other's name as she tightened around him, all of the pressure suddenly being released and travelling up throughout her body and down through her legs. She shook around him as he stilled inside of her, spilling into the condom. He collapsed on top of her, resting his head in between her neck and shoulder as he caught his breath. She turned her head to kiss his cheek and pushed her hand into his hair, gently rubbing his head while catching her own breath. "Sorry". He mumbled into her. "I'm squishing you". He pushed himself up and leaned his elbows either side of her head before ducking down to kiss her lips. "You're incredible".
"So are you". She giggled and cupped his cheek, pulling him back down for another kiss. "I think I need another shower".
He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, yeah I think I need one too. Wanna share?" He asked and she nodded, letting him pull her up with him. She expected him to let go once she had her feet on the ground, but he scooped her up into his arms and held her against his chest, carrying her into the bathroom. "I think we'll only need one bed tonight". He grinned at her, showing off his dimples again as he set her down in front of the toilet, leaning into the shower to turn it on.
"Definitely". She grinned back at him.
The end
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rogueddie · 8 months
Text
Part one, Part two, Part three
El wakes him up, the same way she did the previous day; softly.
"Good morning, Steve," she says, with a quiet voice and gentle hand on his shoulder. She smiles small, but genuinely, when he blinks his eyes open. "We are having eggos for breakfast."
"Again?"
"You do not like them?" She sounds concerned. "I can ask-"
"No, I like them," he quickly corrects.
"Great! Come on!"
As soon as he's out of bed, on his feet, she gently grabs his hand and leads him out to the kitchen. Hopper is already awake, cooking, and greets them with a wide smile.
"Any plans for today?" El asks.
"Not today," Hopper says, plating their breakfast. "After yesterday, I thought it better if Steve stay home. If that's alright with you, kid?"
"Sure," Steve nods.
"I can hang out with him?" El asks, perking up.
"If that's what he wants."
"Steve?" El asks, turning to him with wide, pleading eyes.
"What we be doing?"
"Oh! I have a lot of ideas! Max let me borrow some of her stuff, too. Although, she thinks you might not like some of it and that I should try something else if you do not want to try, so I have backups."
"And... that's ok?" He asks, glancing between her and Hopper. "If I say no?"
"Kid," Hopper starts. His voice is low, serious- the way Steve always hears adults get when he's said something wrong. But he looks worried when he slowly sits down, turning so he can face Steve. "Why do you think that wouldn't be ok?"
"I dunno," Steve lies, shrugging. "Grown ups are weird."
"They are," El agrees, nodding solemnly.
"Steve, you can say no," Hopper says, gently grabbing his shoulder. "Doesn't matter to what, or why. You can always say no. Ok?"
"Ok."
"Good. Eat up, before El steals it."
"I would ask first!"
It's nice, Steve thinks. How easy, comfortable, they are. She's not scared to talk back, and he understands that it's playful. They try to encourage Steve to speak up, join in, but he's happy to watch them.
"You know where everything is?" Hopper asks El, as he prepares to leave. "And what to do if-"
"Yes, I know," she quickly says. "We will be ok. I will make sure he is ok."
"Don't doubt it," Hopper ruffles her hair. "I'll be back for dinner."
"You better be."
El holds up a hand, waiting, listening. And, as soon as the sound of Hoppers car is too far to hear, she grabs his hand again.
"He will be late," she says, shutting the door to her room behind them with a flick of her wrist. "It's fine though, I know where he hides things, and it gives us more time to have fun."
She pulls a bag out from under her bed, tipping it upside down and dumping the contents out onto the bed.
"We can talk about what you don't want to try first, if you like?"
"Um... ok?"
"Great!" She lifts up a small bottle first. "I was thinking we try painting nails first. Max recently showed me how to do patterns with it. I'm really good at daisies."
"I like daisies," he offers.
"Me too!" She grins, putting the nail polish to one side.
El, Steve is quickly discovering, is perfect. She is more than happy to skip the things Steve is uncertain about, reassuring him that they could try again later if he wants. She's only interested in finding the thing that they both enjoy.
He only ends up with one daisy, painted on his thumb, but El doesn't care.
"You let me paint a base," she reminds him, when he asks. "And it matches your sweater that I got from Robin!"
"What sweater?"
The sweater is yellow, matching his nails, just like El said. It's massive on him- almost ridiculously bigger. Even with the sleeves scrunched up, he can't get his hands free. But it's soft, bright, comfortable. Something about it makes him feel safe.
"You got this from Robin?" He asks.
"Yes! She brought a few things over that she thinks you might like. She wants you to feel safe and loved."
"Oh."
"Are you ok?" El takes half a step closer, hands raising, uncertain and panicked. "Are you sad?"
"No, I'm fine," he chokes out, rubbing his face. "Everyone is just so nice to me. I didn't even do any special things that get rewards."
"You don't need to do special things. We are your friends and we care about you." She grabs him, pulling him in for a tight hug. "And we are going to do lots of nice things together because you deserve it."
And they do.
It's easy to get lost in it, after that. Easy to forget why he should be avoiding certain things, easy to forget that he would usually get in trouble for trying on "girl" things or wearing make-up.
It's easy to let himself enjoy himself. It's easy to let himself enjoy spending time with El. It's easy to be... happy.
By the time Hopper gets home, only a little late, Steve feels almost drunk with how happy he is.
"You kids have a good day?" He asks, only pausing for a minute when he spots Steve. "What did you get up to?"
El follows him to the kitchen, recieting their day, excitedly explaining which things they both enjoyed and what they had to scrap.
Steve is only confused for a moment- Hopper truly isn't phased by all the "girl" things that he'd done with El. He barely even spares a glance at the frilly, pink socks that El has lent him. He seems, like El, happy that Steve had a good time and nothing more.
"Are you guys, like... real?" He has to ask. "Why are you so nice?"
"Would you rather us be cruel?" Hopper counters.
"Well, no..."
"Then what's the problem?" He raises an eyebrow, nodding to himself when Steve can't think of a response. "Good. So for dinner..."
part five
tag list for those who asked (if you want taking off lmk x) : @songbird-garden @str4wb3rry-guy @badcaseofcasey @lioniheart @irethsune @starry-eyedlune @newtstabber @messrs-weasley @vesme @penny00dreadful @ratboybubs @ocapmycap @ellietheasexylibrarian @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @little-trash-ghost @lazyavenuewhispers @paintsplatteredandimperfect @mightbeasleep @anaibis @sleepyboosstuff @thesuninyaface @morpheusmunson @notfrogsunderatrenchcoat @novelnovella @tartarusknight @spectrum-spectre @hotluncheddie @malicia62 @tencents121 @lightwoodbanethings @steddie-steddie @dragonmama76 @weirdandabsurd42 @lenathegay @theequeervibes @7shrewsinatrenchcoat @g4ys0n @subversivecynic @bleedingoptimism @eyesofshinigami @disrespectedgoatman @skiddit @chaoticlovingdreamer @estrellami-1 @chrystal-lovee @m-owo-n @fandommaniac123 @jackievsn @greekgeek24 @ajeff855
- idk why some peoples tags aren't working, sorry if yours is missing + I'm pretty sure we've reached the limit for how many tags tumblr is willing to let me add to a post 😅
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quintinh43 · 1 month
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BFF's 4 Life
Set in the world of Loving You Is As Easy as ABC 123
Here are my head cannons, on before Quinn and the reader became a couple.
You and Quinn lived together for eight months before he finally found a place for himself. In that time the two of you grew very close.
Quinn was very sad to leave and debated just staying with you, but in the end he decided to go through with the move because his new place was closer to Rogers arena.
He did try to convince you to move in with him, but you didn't because your apartment was closer to the university and work.
Quinn would come into the coffee shop that you worked at every time you were working. And every time, without fail, you would present him with some obscene concoction of sugar and caffine that no one had ever heard of.
"I swear to god, i'm gonna get diabetes because of you." Yet without fail he would drink every last drop.
During covid, you started going on morning runs because otherwise, you would've gone crazy. Especially having all of your uni classes online.
Quinn started joining you after a while because he was also going crazy, and the runs really really helped, especially because he got to do them with you.
You were also the one who taught Quinn how to cook during this time. And you were genuinely infuriated when he became a better cook than you. "I'll never forgive you" you grumble, while Quinn cackles as he pulls burnt aspargus out of the oven. "Student becomes the master" he shrugs, and you throw a handful of asparagus at him.
When Quinn got covid, you showed up at his apartment covered head to toe, complete with gloves, a mask, and eyewear, holding a container of chicken noodle soup.
Quinn laughed, immediately took a photo and then proceeded to launch into a coughing fit so bad he turned the colour of a tomato.
At which point you took a photo of him. The two of you keep the photos as blackmail, and if either of you were to ever use them, all hell would break loose.
You own so so so much canuck gear, it's unhinged (courtesy of Quinn of course.) You joked about starting to sell some stuff on eBay, and Quinn looked so genuinely distraught that you never made that joke again.
When you officially started teaching, all the canuck gear came in handy. Especially when you were being lazy and didn't have time to pick an outfit.
At first everyone thought you were just a Canuck super-fan, until one day Quinn had to drop you off at work because your car was in the shop.
Then of course everyone though the two of you were dating. Which got really annoying.
The first time you officially brought Quinn to class was because he had a full day off and didn't know what to do with himself. He begged you to take the day off to spend it with him, but "Some of us have real jobs Quinn."
"Hey! My job is real"
"Well, unfortunately for you I can't just not show up. You had to have given me at least a two day notice so I could've found a substitute."
"Y/nnnnn," he whined, flopping off your bed dramatically while you finished getting dressed. "What am I supposed to do all day?"
" If you're really so concerned about being bored to death, get dressed and come help me be a glorified babysitter for the day" you snorted
Quinn's head snapped up excitedly "wait seriously?"
You were joking, but it happened anyway.
The kids were so well-behaved that you debated bringing Quinn to work with you every day.
Whenever you were on a break, Quinn pestered you to be hanging out with him the whole time. Which usually ended up with recipe expiramenting, Quinn helping you mark papers and lesson plan, or Quinn dragging you along to practice/games/events etc.
One time, he even pestered you to come on a week long roadie with him during winter break. To which you declined - because that was definitely stepping over a 'best friend' relationship line, and you were under the firm impression that Quinn would never love you the way you loved him.
The guys always teased him mercilessly about being in love with you.
"For fucks sake, Huggy. Are you blind? Do you see the way she looks at you?"
After Quinn became captain, whenever his teammates threatened to tell you that he was in love with you he threatened to make them do bag skates for an entire practice.
They shut up really quick after that.
The team loves you, and they always say that whenever they have kids they are sending them to the school you teach at.
Whenever Quinn watched you interact with Kids he gets a little starry eyed and drooly.
Quinn is a very common topic of conversation in your classroom. You often use him as your muse whenever you're doing projects.
He loves it, and he keeps every single piece you've done on him. From art projects, to Health projects.
You even managed to use him in a math project once. (You used little cutouts of his head as addition blocks, he laughed so hard he was crying.)
If Quinn has a game on a week day, you try to wear some form of his merchandise, and he always asks for a fit picture.
Quinn never ever ever let you pay for anything. "You don't even make 1/10th of my salary"
"Way to make a girl feel good about her job,"
"Wait, I didn't mean it like that im sor- no wait. I'm not insulting your job, I'm insulting the people that pay you. You are literally raising our future generations, and the government pays you like trash. If anything, our salaries should be reversed. I basically work in the entertainment industry."
"Ok, well I can still afford to pay for my own shit" you grumble.
Quinn rolls his eyes. "Don't be so stubborn. Put your plastic bank card away. it's insulting in my presence"
"Sorry we don't all have metal fucking credit cards that make noise when we drop them" you spit back.
It continues to be a fight every. single. time.
Whenever you do somehow manage to pay, Quinn is fuming and throughly debates not talking to you for a week.
He never lasts more than a couple hours.
Whenever Quinn left for the summer, you got really lonely. Especially because as a teacher, you had the whole summer off.
He always invited you to come to Michigan with him, but there was always a nagging in your head about "crossing the best friend line"
One summer, you decided to teach summer school for high-schoolers to keep yourself busy. And it was fucking hell. Hormonal sweaty teenagers trying to learn a subject in three weeks rather than four months was so so bad.
Quinn gladly listened to you complain every day, "shoulda come to michigan with me." He would shrug
"Mom and dad have been asking about you," he would throw in quietly.
Which leads us into your relationship with Quinn's family.
Over the six years that the two of you have been friends you've met his parents and both his brothers.
Luke was fourteen, and Jack was sixteen when you met them for the first time.
They both fell IN LOVE with you.
They would call you to ask for homework help, often saying something like, "You're a teacher, what do i do?"
"I'm not a teacher yet, guys. I still have to finish my degree, you know." You would laugh awkwardly and help them anyways.
You blamed both Jack and Luke for the dreadful summer you taught high-schoolers. Simply because you had enjoyed teaching Jack and Luke so much, you thought it would be the same.
They had much the same response as their shithead older brother "you should've come to michigan"
As they grew and saw how you and Quinn looked at each other, they would tease him mercilessly as good brothers do.
"Dude, if you don't confess, I'll marry her." sixteen year old Luke would smirk
That had Quinn seething, and it was quite funny. "You fucking imbecile."
"Mom! Quinn called me a bad word!"
Jack was often cackling in the background or telling Quinn to stop being the world's biggest dumbass.
The day you saw Luke in person and he had grown taller than you, you collapsed dramatically into his arms and pinched his cheeks aggressively. Crying about your favourite little kiddo being all grown up.
Ever the awkward teenager Luke just blushed and grumbled about not being a baby.
Whenever Jack and Luke visit Vancouver, they always ask to visit your classroom.
The first time all three NHL superstar hughes brothers were in your classroom it was fucking chaos throughout the entire school. You got yelled at by the principal, and they had to leave while the cops chased away reporters.
The four of you will never forget the dressing down you got in the principals office that day. It felt like you were a group of playground bullies getting scolded for pushing kids off the slide.
"This is getting brought up at ALL of our weddings." Jack grins as the boys hug you goodbye and head over to Quinn's place.
"Yeah, all three weddings," Luke says with a mischievous grin.
Both you and Quinn blush and choose to ignore Luke's statement.
Until he's winking at you over dramatically and making duck lips at you. The Quinn is dragging him towards the car by his ear and promising to pick you up when school is out.
The way luke can swing between awkward twenty-year old and Youngest child menace is so funny to you.
Now onto Ellen and Jim
They also absolutely love you.
They have loved you since you were freshly nineteen and offering up your apartment for Quinn, when all you knew about him was that he was an anxious teenager.
Jim gives the best advice. He's especially knowledgeable when it comes to kids, "its not very different than dealing with grown men who strap blades to their feet and call it a job." He says teasingly, while all his kids protest.
Ellen is the sweetest angel of a human you have ever met. She takes no nonsense from her kids, and always makes sure Quinn is good to you.
She has a knowing twinkle in her eye when she sees you and Quinn together and it makes your chest ache a little.
Her hugs are always long, and her words sweet, and she always reminds you that you have a family with the Hughes no matter what.
---
Hey guys! Guess who's back and better than ever 😎 we're getting a fic between tomorrow and Saturday, so stay tuned. Anyways, I hope yall like this! If there's anything from here you'd like to see turned into a blurb/fic let me know! I've been super inspired for this universe as of late. Also I am going through the requests in my inbox. So if you requested something it's hopefully coming soon! I've been super busy with school, but it's calming down for a couple weeks and then finals will be in full swing! I love you all and I hope you enjoy this! As always comment comment comment! And I hope you guys are doing amazing.
Love Soph 🫶🏼🫶🏼
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nolita-fairytale · 7 months
Text
don't you worry, there's still time | chef luca x fem!reader, feat. marcus brooks
summary: after losing his mother, marcus searches for joy and stillness in copenhagen. you and luca, who are more than happy to host, decide to take a big next step in your relationship. a oneshot from the world of 'burn your life down.'
warnings: fluff, light angst, grief, death, light smut, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, off-canon connection to the storyline of the bear.
word count: 5.8k
listen to: the playlist
a/n: wow, i missed this world! who is ready for the reveal of chef's restaurant name?! while i don't think i have the bandwidth to write another full series (nor a linear story to tell) i'm thinking of creating a second part to 'burn your life down' where we just get to drop in and see what they're up to. thoughts??
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chef luca masterlist | full masterlist
After a tumultuous holiday season, it doesn’t take long for Sydney to realize that her friend is in need of a little help. A reprieve, she so kindly explained to both Marcus and Carmy when she’d proposed the idea. 
It was Sydney this time, who called Luca, knowing that she and Carmy would have to find something to do with Marcus. It wasn’t fair – that he’d lost his mom just before Thanksgiving – and they both agreed that Marcus needed to get out of dodge. Quick to act, Carmy set up a few stages in NYC for a week or so, which, while seemed to inspire Marcus, seemed to only plunge him further into a slump come Christmas. “I don’t know. I think we gotta send him on some kinda… eat, pray, love trip. The guy can only sulk on my couch for so long before I consider jumping out of the window,” Sydney says, her attempt to lighten the mood with humor still genuine. “It’s getting sad, Carm. Like… real fuckin’ sad.”
“You’re right. Uh… what about Copenhagen?” Carmy pitches with a shrug, because he knows what all consuming grief feels like. 
“Again?” she asks, uncertain of whether it’s the best choice that they could make. 
“Yeah,” Carmy shrugs in response. “Think he got a lot of it last time. Could be good for him to go back to somewhere familiar… work with Luca again. You don’t think it’s a-?”
“No I do! I just-,” Sydney hesitates, though she knows her business partner makes a good point. “Familiarity will be good for him. To be around people he can trust.”
“You want me to uh-,” Carmy begins to offer, figuring he’ll make the call. 
“Probably best if I explain the situation. Just ‘cause, you know, I know more of what’s going on… just send me his info and I’ll call later,” Sydney interjects. 
Carmy agrees with a curt nod before adding in:
“Uh… okay yeah. Yeah.”
*
You get plenty of time to prepare for Marcus’ visit, performing all kinds of fancy footwork to arrange a proper visit – a week’s worth of time spent staging and living in Copenhagen. When Luca finds out that the prolific houseboat, a chef retreat of sorts that’s always been an option for lodging, is booked for the week and a half that Marcus plans on visiting, you offer up your place without hesitation. 
The arrangement goes as follows: while Marcus stays at yours at no cost, you’ll stay with Luca for the duration of the time. 
This is how you find yourself at the massive Ikea on Dybbølsbro on a Saturday morning with Luca, in search of a set of fresh bed linens intended for guests. 
“I really should host more. And Astrid said she and Lina were planning a trip out here so… why not kill two birds with one stone?” you’d reasoned to your boyfriend, making a strong case for why you and Luca should make this little shopping trip. 
“What do you think of the blue?” Luca asks you, as you run your hand over a set of the display sheets, checking for softness. 
“Don’t know if the blue is what I’m going for. I was thinking of something warmer. Maybe a yellow or… I don’t know. I’ve kind of been into that trendy rust color as of late,” you reply with a shrug, moving onto the warmer colors. 
Luca chuckles and with a small shake of his head, he clarifies his previous questions with:
“No, I meant for me.”
“What do you mean?” you ask him curiously, his comment pulling all of your focus as you search his face for answers. “You just got new bedding.” 
And expensive ones too. 
But as your eyes follow his gaze, you realize that he’s not talking about sheets, focused on the XL Twin-sized duvets just above where the sheets messily fall along the shelf. 
“I was thinking…” Luca trails off, checking in with you before he continues, with “... maybe it’s time I get two duvets… you know… for us.” He takes a beat, and a step towards you, and you know you’ll never stand a chance against his boyish charm as one side of his mouth turns up into a smile. 
You’re no stranger to the Scandinavian duvet method – two twin duvets for one king sized bed – but it sounds like Luca’s suggestion is about way more than buying an extra duvet on this trip. 
“I want you to feel at home… at my place."
“I do,” you reply, almost instantly, a warmth spreading through your belly as you take a step towards him. 
“But I mean really… feel like it’s your home. Because it is. It could be. You know… if you want it to be,” Luca continues, this time with more insistence, a look of hopefulness in his deep blue eyes. 
“Are you… are you asking me to move in with you?” you manage to get out, your heart skipping a beat. 
“Why not? We could use this week to try it out,” he suggests so casually that you practically have to do a double take. “See how it goes while Marcus stays at your place?”
“Yeah I-... that sounds like a good plan, yeah,” you stammer out, the grin on your face undeniable as you nod enthusiastically in the middle of a goddamn furniture store. 
“Besides,” Luca says, clearing his throat as his tone changes to one that’s much more playful. “You’re an absolute blanket hog and a repeat offender at that.” Luca winks your way as you roll your eyes with a laugh in response. “This could prevent some of our silly little quarrels, don’t you think, love?” 
“Uh huh,” you sound, your face skeptical as you look his way again. “Preventative measures. Sure, babe.”
Luca chuckles before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips, right then and there, in the Ikea bed linen section, the place you’ll now forever think of as the place your boyfriend asked you to move in with him.
Connection
When Marcus arrives in Copenhagen, you’ve arranged your home with the most comfort in mind, having already packed a week’s worth of things and left for Luca’s. You can only imagine what he must be going through, deciding that something like that – losing your mother – though inevitable, is your goddamn worst nightmare. 
“Marcus, 
Enjoy your stay and please reach out if you need anything. I can’t wait to meet you!”
…is the note that you leave him, along with a few morning pastries you picked up from your favorite baggeri across the street, and your number scribbled down at the bottom of the notepad. 
As Marcus arrives, his eyes drawn immediately to your note and gift, Marcus smiles to himself, noticing that you left a very nice looking bottle of wine on the counter as well. He’s moved by your generosity, considering you’ve never met, and the fact that you’re willing to take so much care, extend this much kindness to a stranger, causes a wave of softness to wash over him. 
Maybe, just maybe, he can find softness again – the last few months riddled with pain, grief, and numbness to get through the days. 
While he came here to work, encouraged by his friends that a change of scenery may do his broken heart some good, it’s the first time Marcus has had a chance to be still. His feelings of grief sit heavier here and it catches him off guard, uncertain that he’s quite ready to sit with them yet. He pushes aside the thought, focusing on exploring your home and unpacking his bags. Marcus knows how to stay busy – he’s become an expert at it by now – reminding himself that he’s got work at 5 am sharp tomorrow.
*
“A little too much, chef. Take it down by about 15 grams,” Luca directs, his voice even and sure as he inspects the balls of dough that Marcus currently shapes. 
“Yes, chef,” Marcus nods in understanding, plopping the ball of dough back on the scale to adjust the measurement. 
The two of them work like this for the rest of the morning, Luca treading carefully while keeping things professional, while Marcus buries himself in the work – something that feels good, safe, right. 
He’s missed this. While Marcus has one chef he works with directly at the restaurant, he’s the expert – the head patissier. He misses being surrounded by excellence, getting to be a student of someone who is just as driven, if not more, and inspired. It’s good, quiet, calm, yet there’s a focus and intensity in Luca’s kitchen that feels like a breath of fresh air. 
His stage trip to New York has been more of a mess than beneficial. Maybe it had been the chaos of the city, or the chaos of the chefs he was working with. Maybe it was the fact that Marcus, though hungry for a distraction, hadn’t quite been ready to walk directly into the line of fire yet.
As Marcus’ practiced hands move with the dough, there’s a newfound confidence in the way that he works that's not lost on Luca. Luca watches his friend carefully, pride swelling in his chest as his mentee makes the adjustment with ease and diligence.
“Can I join you?” Luca asks, gesturing towards Marcus' workstation. 
“‘Course, chef,” Marcus replies, his response short yet reverent. 
As Luca joins him, finding a space to the right of Marcus, he busies his hands with rolling each perfectly measured ball of dough into mini boules, ready to proof. The two of them work quietly, side by side, the air between them heavy with words unsaid. He can feel it – the weight that lays so heavily on Marcus' heart – but Luca doesn’t want to bring it up, uninterested in forcing the conversation. Especially about something so painful, something he knows that Marcus has barely begun working through. 
“Thanks, again. For uh… you know… letting me come work,” Marcus begins, momentarily checking in with Luca to gauge a reaction. 
“‘Course,” Luca replies, his answer instantaneous. “You’re welcome here any time, mate.” 
“Yeah?” Marcus asks, stealing a glance in Luca’s direction.
“Yeah,” Luca responds with a certain nod. 
“And uh… shit. I can’t thank your girlfriend enough for letting me crash at her place,” Marcus adds, as he works through his discomfort and overwhelm from the wave of feelings that begin to bubble up in his chest.
“You can thank her yourself on Saturday,” Luca brings up, excited over the fact that Marcus will not only be meeting his girlfriend, but staging at her restaurant too. “She’s really looking forward to meeting you.” 
Marcus nods slowly, his hands the only steady thing about him as he continues to focus on his work. 
“I just mean-, well, she didn’t have to-. ‘S not like either of you owed it to me or anything and I-. You guys just really came through…” Marcus trails off, wanting to make his gratitude clear. It means more to him that he can articulate so instead he settles for, “So thank you. Again.”
Luca shrugs with an aplomb about him as he returns with, “We got you, mate.” He pauses before continuing, fully aware that Marcus isn’t quite comfortable with the feelings that have presented themself in this moment. “And the way I see it, I wouldn’t have met her if it weren’t for you – for our conversation the last time you were here – so we really do owe you for it.”
This time Luca makes an effort to check in with Marcus, gauging his emotional capacity as he concludes with:
“But that’s not what any of this is about: debts, who owes who what. We were both more than happy to host you. That’s what mates are for.”
It’s not till the end of the next shift that it hits him, and Marcus finds himself sitting outside of the restaurant on a bench across the street. He’s not sure whether it’s the jet lag or the exhaustion of the 5 am start time in another time zone, but it hits him all at once, like a ton of bricks. Suddenly consumed with the feelings that he’s been trying his best to avoid, all he can do is pause, completely caught off guard by the strength of them. 
Quietly, Luca joins him, having spotted him on his way home, rerouting himself in Marcus’ direction instead. 
All he can think of are the words you’ve asked him, and he you, time and time again – the ones that cut right to the core of you each and every time – that show you how much he cares. 
“How’s your heart?” Luca asks Marcus, after a few minutes of sitting on the bench together in silence. 
And how is his heart? 
He’s not sure how to answer, considering it’s been a while since he’s really had a chance to check in, the crippling reality of this great loss is too much to bear alone. 
His heart is broken, shattered into an infinite amount of pieces. 
He, and his heart will never be the same again and he doesn’t know where or how he’ll ever put it back together. 
His heart is… lost, in desperate need of finding a soft place to land. 
Marcus takes a while to answer, racking his brain for any semblance of a cohesive answer. 
He waits. And then he waits. 
Until finally, he can answer. 
“I uh… don’t know. But I’m hoping this trip will help me figure that out.”
Creativity 
“do you remember the 21st night of september? love was changin' the minds of pretenders while chasin' the clouds away.” (earth, wind, and fire.)
Everything about the way you run your kitchen feels different than what he’s used to. 
It’s sure as hell different from his last stage trip to New York, Marcus thinks to himself.
With Carmy and Syd, working with them, there’s a buzz of chaos that runs underneath even the most organized and efficient service. It’s something integral to what they have, gives an edge to The Bear that seems to make it hum in all the right ways. Even with Luca, who comes from fine dining and Michelin-starred restaurants, there’s a quiet and determined focus – an intensity to his work – even without the undercurrent of chaos. 
But this. But you. 
Your kitchen somehow teeters the line of organized chaos and reckless play so well that Marcus understands why this works – why it’s efficient. 
Still, he watches as you and your staff dance – no, literally dance – around each other to the highly recognizable Earth, Wind, and Fire tune. Mathilde sings along while chopping chives for the brothy mushroom grain bowl, while, mid-phrase, manages to yell out a short command to a line cook in Danish. Out of the corner of his eye, Marcus catches Jesper working the dining room, while you finish plating two more dishes, ready to be walked out. 
It’s as if you find focus in the center of all the noise, somewhere between the electric energy between you, Mathilde, and your staff, and the feel-good vibes and homeyness of the restaurant that you’ve created. 
You had been more than welcoming when Marcus had walked through the doors of your restaurant, Kokuore, mere hours ago. You’d given him the tour, shown him which station he’d be working this evening, then warmly introduced him to your entire team before family meal started. Marcus can’t stop moving, too afraid to be still in fear of falling apart in the presence of how comforting you’ve been. 
And this? Your kitchen. It’s all joy, connection, and artistry. 
It’s not hard for him to see why Luca fell in love with you. 
“Marcus, feel free to take a break,” he hears you say, as you nod towards the dining room through the open kitchen. 
As Marcus follows your gesture, he notices that Luca’s arrived, remembering something about a standing Saturday date. 
“You sure, chef?” Marcus asks, looking to you for approval. 
“Positive,” you nod, reassuringly.
Marcus nods in return to confirm, before taking his apron off and making his way over to the dining room where Luca is exchanging a few words with Jesper. 
“Wassup, chef,” he greets his mentor. 
“You know, you can call me Luca,” Luca reminds him with a crooked smile. “At least when we’re off the clock.”
Marcus chuckles, “Uh… yeah alright. That’s gonna take some getting used to.” 
Luca chuckles in return, before Jesper shows them to his table, mentioning something about Americans being so afraid of fluidity. 
“She’s brilliant isn’t she?” Luca asks, in reference to you as his eyes catch yours from across the room. 
“Nah for real. Like… mad scientist vibes,” Marcus concurs with a smile. “She can throw down for sure.” He pauses as they sit down at Luca’s table. “So you come every Saturday night, huh?”
“When I can, yeah, which is… most Saturdays,” Luca replies honestly, before beginning to list why he’s kept up this routine. “But it’s nice. Keeps me inspired. I get to see my girl, walk her home at night which makes me feel better.” Luca leans back in his chair this time, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I never mind helping close down at the end of the night.”
Marcus hums in response before one of the waitstaff comes to their table, with a glass of wine in hand, on the house. They chat for a little longer before Marcus returns to the kitchen, his excitement for what you’re doing here filling him to the brim. 
As dinner service comes to an end, Marcus can’t help but notice the chemistry and how unique it is as you all work together in perfect harmony. There’s a warmth to it, something different, and he begins to understand why the name of the restaurant comes from the word, heart. 
Luca is quick to get up from his table, quickly finishing his glass of wine as he offers to help close down. The music volume goes from underscoring the buzz of a busy night of service, to the main attraction, as a motown throwbacks playlist begins to blare from the speakers. You all work quickly and efficiently, eager to close down, get home, and begin your weekends, but it’s when an old Otis Redding track that Luca decides to put a pause on the progress. 
“Dance with me, my love,” he says, offering his hand out to you as a huge gesture that earns a few looks and giggles from some of your staff. 
“Luca,” you begin to protest, looking around. 
“You can take three minutes,” he offers, exchanging a look with you this time. 
You nod, taking his hand as you agree with, “Okay.”
And as Luca wraps you up in his arms, engaging you in a slow dance to Otis Redding’s “That’s How Strong my Love is,” you chuckle, relaxing into him.
“Oh, get a room, you two!” Jesper calls out after you, teasingly. 
“She pretends – always puts up a fight – as if they don’t do this every single week,” Mathilde adds, as an explanation to Marcus. 
“Every week?” Marcus asks, a little surprised by both you and Luca’s willingness to pause and revel in a moment with each other, instead of just pushing through. 
“Yeah. Romantics, they are,” Jesper chimes in. 
Marcus smiles to himself. It’s a reminder of slowness – something he hasn’t let himself experience in a long time – and for just a moment, he lets himself settle into the feeling. 
*
You don’t even mind that you woke up an hour before your alarm the moment you feel Luca’s arms wrapped around you, and his lips against your soft skin. The low rumble of his voice resonates across your shoulders, sending chills down your spine as you arch into his hands, his arms wrapped around you. 
“I know we’re only a few days in… of our little trial,” Luca begins, the bass of his voice reverberating through your shoulder blade.
“Our living together trial?” you clarify with your ask, letting out a gasp as he nibbles on your shoulder gently. 
“Yeah. Just wonderin’ where your mind’s at,” Luca murmurs, his eager hands beginning to explore underneath the oversized shirt you put on before bed last night. 
“Well… I really like this,” you reply, the sound that comes out of your mouth somewhere between a giggle and a moan. 
“Hmmmm?” Luca sounds, innocently. 
“This… Waking up to you thing.”
“Oh yeah?” 
“Mhm.”
Luca’s name escapes your lips as his fingers gently begin to play with your nipples, his erection hard against your back as you begin to grind your hips back against. 
“And the access to round the clock sex is really a bonus,” you sigh, blissfully. 
“Oh yeah?” he asks you again, a large tatted hand slipping between your legs. 
“Yeah… I’d even be… interested in leaning into that part… right now,” you hiss in reply to his touch. “Considering you’re distracting me with sex.”
“Hmmmmm. ‘S not just it, love. Have I told you how grateful I am for what you’ve done for Marcus?” Luca asks, his mouth back on your neck. He presses your body against him, your back to his chest as he rocks his hips against yours. 
“Luca!” you protest, unable to focus on the conversation. 
“It’s your kindness. Your heart… I’m in awe of it,” he continues to praise you as the two of you begin to set a rhythm between your bodies. 
It’s all heat, and soft sighs of pleasure, and foreplay.
“Well, I know a little something about what he’s going through,” you answer breathlessly. You begin to impatiently push the hem of your shirt higher so that you can give Luca more access to your body. 
“That’s why I love you,” Luca murmurs into your skin, his hands all over you, his focus unbroken and your mind beginning to go blank. His hands are tearing your shirt over your head as he continues to praise you. “Your heart, the way you share it.”
“You helped me get there, baby,” you gasp, turning your head so that you can kiss your boyfriend. 
Instead of answering, Luca nods knowingly, before crashing his lips into yours. His mouth on yours feels like heaven, and you can’t believe that you ever fought your feelings for him. 
“Ah fuck it. Let’s do it. Let’s move in together,” you surrender to him, lost in the moment. 
“Yeah?” Luca pauses, pulling away, as if almost can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
“Yeah. I mean it, baby,” you nod, catching his gaze, certain in the way you answer. “I wanna wake up to you every morning.”
“Me too, my love,” Luca grins, before pressing his lips to yours again. “Now will you please let me fuck you, darling?”
“Fuck yes.”
Luca spends the next hour showing you just how grateful he is for you, while you in return, spend the next hour showing him just how sure you are about this decision. 
And you are sure. If mornings like this are a constant for the rest of your life, you think you’ll die a happy woman. 
You’ve found a home in him, and he, you. He’s the person you want to come home to at the end of the day. He’s the man that puts a smile on your face every single time he gets on his soapbox about how Beyonce is the performer of your lifetimes, and he is unequivocally the best, most unexpected thing in your life. 
Luca Davies, in almost a year of knowing him, and eight months of getting to love him, has somehow become your favorite person. 
By the time you and Luca are both showered and decent-for-company, you’ve begun your mise en place for brunch, completely content with the fact that you’re running a little behind schedule (and in all fairness, the sex was worth it – it’s always worth it). The smell of bacon sizzling away on your carbon steel fry pan fills the entire apartment, and you’re glad that Luca opened a window earlier. It’s not exactly window weather yet, but the air ventilation is a must when it comes to smoked meats.
While you play catch up with your brunch plan, Luca’s busy welcoming Marcus in, pouring him a cup of coffee using the extensive ten-step pour over he’s been fixated on ever since he purchased it, while they chat here and there about what else he’s explored in Denmark. 
“Been too busy working, to be honest but… I don’t know. I might wander around today… see what kind of stuff I can get into,” Marcus answers frankly with a shrug. 
“Ah, mate. We just had a walk at the Frederiksberg Gardens. Definitely something I’d recommend checking out,” Luca suggests, his eyes lighting up with excitement as he mentions it. 
Luca continues moving through his list of recommendations, Marcus chiming in with places and things he did the last time he was here, excited to spend a few days exploring the city instead of just working. 
“Wanderin’ around. I dunno. There’s something about it. ‘S good for the spirit, you know?” Luca concludes. 
“Yeah,” Marcus nods in agreement, before turning his attention over to the French toast you’re working on. “Okay, I see you. What is that? Mascarpone?”
“Yeah, good eye. It’s just something new I’m working on: a mascarpone stuffed french toast. We’re actually talking about extending our hours… maybe doing weekend brunch,” you answer thoroughly, as you dip the stuffed pieces of bread into their egg batter, pre-cook. 
“For real? That’s sick,” Marcus compliments, watching you carefully. “I mean… shit. You could have a whole brunch spot.”
“What do you mean?” you ask, looking up from your cutting board. 
“A Brunch spot,” Marcus repeats, simply, the excitement in his eyes at the new idea, evident. “Yeah, you know. Luca could do the morning pastries. You work your magic on the rest of the menu.”
“That’s a novel idea! What do you think, my love?” Luca asks, intrigue in his voice as he searches your face for a reaction. 
“I-,” you begin, looking from Luca to Marcus, then back to Luca again. “I… never thought about it like that.” You take a beat, eyeing Luca carefully. “We’ve never talked about going into business together.”
Marcus shrugs, before picking up his coffee mug, “Yo, it’s just a thought. I think you two would be unstoppable together.”
“Unstoppable, eh?” Luca asks, his eyes locked with yours. 
You only hum in response, raising a quirked eyebrow in Luca’s direction before adding:
“It’s certainly one hell of an idea, Marcus.”
Kokuore
Monday afternoon, you find yourself at your restaurant with Marcus Brooks, on a day off. 
“I might need a little extra help with something tomorrow. We’re closed tomorrow, but I want to get ahead on this special I’m working on. Could use the help of a pastry chef. What do you say?” you’d proposed to him, over one more espresso before he left. 
To Luca’s dismay, (“ you silly Americans just can’t enjoy a day of doing nothing,” he’d teased the two of you) Marcus had given you an unwavering yes, reassuring you that he was down to learn everything he possibly could from you, especially while he was here. 
And it’s true. You do need the help. But should he want someone to talk to – someone who gets it, even just a little bit – you want to offer him the space and the opportunity to do so.
“As a patissier, do you get tasked with pasta? At The Bear?” you ask Marcus, as you pleat a dumpling in hand with a speed that only comes with practice. 
“Nah,” Marcus sounds, his focus on the dumpling he’s pleating too. His concentration on getting the pleats right is reverent and unbroken, even as he answers your question. “Our head chef, Carmy, he uh… he comes from an Italian American family so when we’ve done a stuffed pasta… he usually takes the lead on that.” 
You nod in understanding, placing the dumpling you’ve just finished down on the full-sized sheet pan. The two of you sit across from each other, having pushed a few dining tables together as a makeshift workstation. 
“Think Luca’ll take over this kinda stuff when you guys open a restaurant together?” Marcus asks, lightheartedly pushing his agenda from yesterday. 
You laugh in response, your hands working quickly on yet another dumpling. 
“For someone with no skin in the game, you’re really insistent on this idea,” you tease him in return. 
“Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it,” Marcus pushes right back, his tone still light. 
“I…” you sigh, trailing off as you pause your work for a moment. “You know, we just said we’d move in together. That and a restaurant? Feels fast.” 
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Like… a few hours before you came over for brunch,” you elaborate, earning a whistle from Marcus. The two of you exchange a look, and a laugh, as you pick up another dumpling wrapper that you and Marcus rolled out together earlier. 
“It’s a good idea though,” you add, stealing a glance his way so that he knows that you’re serious. 
“Well, when you two inevitably do open a restaurant… I want ten percent,” Marcus jokes, earning another laugh from you. 
“Deal,” you agree with him. 
You and Marcus work like this, exchanging a few words, the conversation light, underscored by a softer acoustic soundtrack from one of your Spotify radio stations.
“So how’d you learn to cook like this?” Marcus asks you curiously. 
“Uh…” you hesitate, treading carefully as you realize this conversation could open a can of worms. 
“I don’t know how much Luca’s told you about me… but I was married… before him,” you begin, cautiously. “And… well, I learned a lot of this… a lot of traditional Japanese cooking from my mother-in-law.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. These are her dumplings actually – her recipe. She passed away last Fall and… well, it was important to me to celebrate her – to celebrate her life – by creating a few dishes for her,” you continue, and it’s as if all of the air has been sucked out of the room. “We’re bringing this one back as a special this month but um… yeah. I’m… still very much grieving and… it helps me remember her. Cooking her food helps me feel close to her, you know?”
“Yeah,” Marcus sighs, his heart heavy as he exhales. 
He waits a beat. 
And then another, having paused his work as he watches you pleat, head down, with expert hands. 
The silence between you and Marcus is full, heavy, connected by shared experience. You wait for Marcus to say something, and when he doesn’t, you decide to continue. 
“This restaurant… has so much of my heart in it: it’s got my love for Italian food from growing up in my best friend’s family’s restaurant, and it’s got my love for her – for Aiko – and everything she taught me,” you begin to explain. “And lately… it’s got a fresh perspective… inspired by the love I have with Luca, I think. Well, I know. Inspired by him… how this place brought us together.”
“The name itself is… totally made up, but means a lot to me. The Japanese word for heart is, kokoro, and the Italian word for heart is, cuore. Somehow an homage to my past… and was… Prophetic in so many ways too.” 
As Marcus listens, Luca’s previous question lingers in his head:
How’s your heart?
At the time he didn’t know how to answer, and after five days in Copenhagen – after five days of doing what he loves in a place that he loves – his heart is somehow so full, yet so broken all at once. He’s filled with deep sorrow and with the spark of creativity all at the same time, and he’s just not sure how to hold all of this feeling inside of him. 
Marcus waits a beat, opens his mouth, then lets the words fall out. 
“It’s evident. In your food,” is all he manages to say. “It’s got soul. It’s got heart. I-, it’s inspiring. That’s for sure.” 
“I made a dish. For Michael,” Marcus adds, his eyes on the dumpling he works on, but the guard on his heart beginning to fall away. “He was uh… well, he was the old owner of the restaurant, called The Beef back then. Carmy took over after he died. Felt right to honor him and his life, you know? When we reopened as The Bear.”
“Food is… it’s our art, you know?” you agree. “Sometimes it’s the only way I know how to express myself and… sometimes it’s just the thing that makes sense.”
“Yeah.”
A beat. 
“Maybe one day I can make one for my mom,” Marcus says, his voice stuck in his throat as he admits, “I don’t know if I’m ready yet. But I think… I think I’d like to eventually.” 
“Of course,” you reassure him gently. “You don’t have to be ready now. You don’t have to be ready ever. But when you are, your art will always be there.” 
“Thanks,” Marcus nods solemnly. 
You get up this time, realizing the sheet pan is full, and ready to be placed on the baker’s rack. As you return to the table with a new empty sheet pan, lined with parchment paper, Marcus finally asks you, his eyes soft, the heartbreak in them present. 
“How’d you get through? You know. Losing her? Your mother-in-law?” 
You return to your chair with a heavy sigh. 
“I’ll let you know when I do,” you answer, letting up a soft chuckle. “It helps to have good people and… from what Luca’s told me, you do. But… I had to let ‘em in, let ‘em help me. Let ‘em love me. And in all honesty, most days I’m still just… taking it day by day.” 
“Yeah, I-. I do. I got some really good people. Back home,” Marcus drags out slowly. 
“Then that’s all that matters. Your people and your heart. The rest… you just-,” you start. 
“Take day by day?” Marcus interjects, pausing to catch your eyes. 
You and Marcus exchange a knowing look, the recognition of each others’ pain is met with empathy. 
“Yeah. I think that's all we can do.”
By the end of your work session with Marcus, you’re ready to head home so that you can spend the rest of the day with Luca. 
“What’re you gonna do with the rest of your day?” you ask Marcus, curiously. 
With a sigh, and then a shrug, and a heart that feels just a little lighter, he answers with:
“Think I might wander around a bit. Someone once told me it’s good for the spirit.”
320 notes · View notes
letsgetrowdy43 · 9 months
Note
Can you make a part 2 to the Quinn and Honey fic? Where Quinn apologizes and it’s just fluff
Late night fights continued ☆—
Warnings: a little sexual innuendo at the end, nothing explicit
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Au Masterlist!!
The first part!!
Honey rolled out of bed with a frown on her face as her hand reached out for Quinn, instead, she was met with the cold, unoccupied sheets. Her stomach dropped as she remembered the contents of their argument from the night before, the tension she knew she was going to have to deal with until they figured out a happy ending to their predicament. Hayden let out a quiet cry as she rolled from her back to her stomach, kicking her legs in the hope of her mom picking her up.
Honey wiped the sad expression off of her face as she made her way from the bed to the bassinet, picking up her daughter and making her way to the nursery to change her and then to the kitchen to go and make her a bottle. Once Hayden was happily fed and burped Hun sat silently staring at the clock, waiting for the time to hit eight so she could go and wake up her smiley boy, needing a bit of his cheer to help pick up her mood.
Honey is on her feet the moment her coffee is finished brewing, beginning to clean the empty bottles in the sink as she carefully watched Hayden whos having tummy time in her playpen.
The woman quietly picked up her daughter from her spot in the middle of the living room and made her way up the stairs to retrieve Warren from his bed. She glanced into the spare room from a crack in the door, stopping in her tracks and hiding out the hall, watching her son cuddled up to her husband, the two boys sprawled out on the mattress, mouths open as they let out soft snores.
Honey stood in the doorway for a second, trying to decide whether or not it would be a good idea to go in there and wake the two of them up, but ultimately coming to the conclusion that Quinn needed his sleep more than she needed to wake the two of them up. So instead she turned around and headed back into the living room to continue watching the latest video uploaded by Ms. Rachel.
It wasn't much longer before her two boys were up and tiredly walking into the kitchen, pyjama clad with bed head as Quinn got them both breakfast.
"You sleep okay?" her husband asked as he sat down next to her on the couch, a second cup of coffee in his hand for her, a sort of sad peace offering that he gave her to break the tense ice. Honey shook her head as she took a sip of her coffee, "no, I hate sleeping alone," she mumbled as she looked at him for the first time that morning. "I didn't sleep great either," he said with a raspy voice, turning his attention to his song who was sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through a kid's magazine as he ate his cereal.
"Warren was awake last night," he whispered and nodded over to their son, "he thinks we don't love each other anymore." "He's never witnessed us argue, we don't really do that," She frowned as her hand lowered to put a pacifier in Hayden's mouth to silence the incoming cries honey could feel approaching, "I still love you if that's what you were wondering." Quinn smiled softly, "I know, It just made me think a lot about our family and how much I really do love you, Hun," her husband shrugged so nonchalantly, the woman sat silently trying to ignore the way her stomach flipped at his confession, "I don't ever want you to feel like your the only one pulling the weight, I don't want to be absent."
Honey nodded as she felt his thumb brush a strand of hair away from her face, "Quinn, you do a lot." "Not as much as you though, and I had no right to come in and not be understanding to the work you've been putting in," he said genuinely as if his one night alone had left him pondering every mistake he'd ever made, "you do a lot and I'm only here when I can be, so I'm sorry for last night," he said breathlessly, like some sort of oath rolling off of his tongue promising her to be better.
Honey was almost taken aback, expecting some sort of fight, some sort of standoffish behaviour from the man. Cause she knew he wasn't entirely in the wrong, he couldn't have known, she'd just been balancing everything on her plate and let it all go crashing onto him.
"Thank you," she said as she leaned forward and pecked him on the lips, "and I'm sorry for exploding on you last night, It could have been handled with simple conversation, I'm just exhausted," she said truthfully as her forehead rested against his shoulder.
"Here, give me her," he motioned for her to pass him their daughter, "you go lay down, and I'll spend some time with them," Honey grinned as she took her freehand and grabbed his jaw smashing his lips onto his before handing the baby over to him.
"If we didn't have kids in the house right now I would do unspeakable things to you, Quinn," she said as she stood up and walked out of the kitchen and towards their bedroom. Quinn's jaw dropped, watching his wife walk away before snapping back into reality, "I could have that arranged!" he yelled out as she got to the door of their room. "You're on babysitting duty Daddy," she winked before shutting the door behind her and taking the most well-deserved nap of the century.
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283 notes · View notes
starreo · 4 months
Text
thank god for you,
isagi.
cw: fear of failing, throwing up, anxiety
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if it wasn't for you, i'd still be crying on my bed, wrinkling the sheets of my physics test paper. if it wasn't for you, i'd still be hurling at the sight of anything less than an A. if it wasn't for you, i'd still be sad, upset and frustrated. which is why, i thank god for you.
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when the teacher calls out my name, telling me i've got a 70 in her subject, and i can smile genuinely while accepting the paper, i think of you.
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i still remember that moment like it was yesterday.
it was six-thirty in the morning, i was scrambling through the papers, struggling to find the page with all the code words...if i couldn't find them...it'd be all over. there would be nothing left...i would fuck up the most important test of my life.
my overworked brain was starting to forget everything. all the important questions, the notes i'd made, the keywords...it was all gone!
i only realized how badly i was crying when suddenly i was struggling to breathe with teardrops falling down to the floor. my hands, still too busy opening the books, flipping the pages to at least find the sheet with the codewords. i can't mess this up, i'd promised my parents i'd do well...what about the teachers? what will they think of me...the other kids...they'd totally make fun of me...
no no no, this is all wrong! i've worked so hard...i've been so good...how could i mess up this bad...
i sat down in my seat, looking across the examination hall, everybody looked prepared...everybody except me...i was gonna fail...i was gonna be a failure...i was gonna disappoint everyone. and there it was again. the fear forming in my mind, made my stomach twist. feeling the sudden flush of saliva in my mouth, i jumped up from my seat, and ran out of the hall. desperately trying to look for a washroom, i ran in immediately when i saw the toilet sign. paying no mind to the blue walls, i rushed into an open stall, on my knees as i threw up. my hair, thankfully tied into a ponytail as my hands gripped the edge of my hoodie.
disgusting disgusting disgusting.
having emptied out everything, i finally pushed myself back. taking a second to breathe. "u-uh...are you alright...?" a boyish voice said...your voice. shocked when i realised i was in the boys' washroom, i immediately wiped my face and flushed the toilet, turning around to see you. you, standing there with a worried look on your face, a napkin already held out towards me, as you tried to say something.
i looked like such a mess. i smelled worse. and yet, you were so kind. giving me a gentle smile as you raised the napkin to my lips, cleaning the side of my mouth. "are you nervous about the exam too?" you whispered carefully, your genuinely soft eyes questioning mine.
i didn't say anything. i was too ashamed to. i didn't wanna admit it. but you still went on.
"it's okay if you are...we all have our good days and bad days. there have been times when i've been the king of the court and there have been times i wasn't able to even reach the ball on time. you don't always have to be perfect, y/n. you have to be human." you said, giving me a smile. a smile i would remember for the rest of my life. just like the words you said to me.
when the teacher calls out my name, telling me i've got a 70 in her subject, and i can smile genuinely while accepting the paper, i think of you. and i think of how i'm not perfect, because i am a human.
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