#this goes without say but this applies to me too! i am white and i am cis! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

juney-blues · 1 year

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ever since i made THIS POST a lot of people have been asking for a tutorial, even though in pretty much all of the screenshots i included the specific part of inspect element showing exactly what i edited.

so buckle the fuck up I guess because the tumblr userbase want to find out how to make html pages unusable and who am I to deny you.

get ready for Baby's First HTML and CSS tutorial lmao

ok so first things first we need to go over BASIC HTML

html is made up of these things called "tags" which specify certain parts of the web page, such as

HEADERS (<h1> through <h6> in terms of importance)

PARAGRAPHS (<p>paragraph here</p>)

LINKS (<a href="linkhere"></a>)

BOLDED SECTIONS OF TEXT(<b>bold here</b>)

and a bunch of other stuff,

by default however, specifying all of this just gives us a plain white page with plain black text of varying sizes

that's of course, no fucking good, and sucks shit, so the arbiters of html decided to let us STYLE certain elements, by adding a STYLE parameter to the tag

this can change any number of elements about how things are formatted.

text colour, page colour, font, size, spacing between elements, text alignment, you name it? you can change it!

you might've noticed that, certain elements are nested in other elements

and that any changes that apply to one element, apply to everything included under that element!

how convenient!

anyway this method of styling things by adding a style=" " to their tags is called "in-line style"

i think because the "style" goes "in" the "line"

it's generally ALSO a pain in the ass to style an entire website like this and should be exclusively reserved for small changes that you only want to apply to specific parts of the page.

for any real change in style you want to create a <style> section in your page's header!

this can be used to make changes to how all elements of a type in your page are displayed

or even add new elements with whatever wacky styling you want that can be used with the <div> tag!

wow! isn't css just dandy!

and hell you can even use External CSS™ if you're making multiple pages and want them all to have a consistent theme, by pointing to a .CSS file (which is basically just a <style> header without the <style> tags lmao

ok this is all well and good and very interesting if, say, you're making your own website

*cough*neocities*cough*itsreallycoolandfree*cough*

but you came here because you want to FUCK UP A WEBSITE and make it look STUPID!!

so this is where the transform css property comes in~

you can read up on it HERE if you want the details but basically it allows you to apply mathematical transformations to any html element you want,

all of these fun bastards,

they can be really useful if you're doing some complicated stupid bullshit like me

OR for having fun >:)

if you'll remember, earlier i said that css properties apply to literally everything nested in an element,

and you MIGHT notice, that literally everything in pretty much all html files, is nested in an <html> tag

you can use style=" " or regular css on pretty much ANY html tag,

INCLUDING HTML!

ok ok that was a lot of buildup for something that i could've explained in one or two lines, but i gave you all this fundamental knowledge for a reason,

well, two reasons, go make a neocities

CHAPTER 2: THIS POST HAS CHAPTERS NOW

CSS KEY FRAMES BABYYYY

THESE FUCKERS DON'T WORK AS INLINE STYLING

I HAD TO TEACH YOU HOW CSS WORKED, TO GIVE YOU THE KNOWLEDGE YOU NEED, TO ANIMATE PAGES. TO MAKE THE FUCKERY COMPLETE!!!!

OKAY SO AGAIN READ UP ON THIS IF YOU WANT THE FULLEST POSSIBLE UNDERSTANDING

BUT WHAT KEYFRAMES ALLOW YOU TO DO, IS ANIMATE CSS PROPERTIES

and then make a class, which calls that animation...

and then assign that class. to your html tag.

and then vomit forever

we can do it in 3d too,

the only limit is your imagination... (and how many parameters you want to look up on w3schools and mozilla mdn web docs)

CHAPTER 3: APPLYING IN PRACTICE

ok now the fun thing about all of this, is you can apply it to your blog theme, literally right now

like literally RIGHT now

like step one, make sure you have a custom blog theme enabled in your settings, because that's turned off by default for some reason

step 2: edit theme

step 3: edit html:

step 4: apply knowledge in practice >:)

#juney.txt #html #css #web development #psa #long post

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rocketturtle4 · 7 months

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So I started Not Me... (IT'S SO GOOD)

(@wen-kexing-apologist It took longer than planned but I have begun)

I am watching SLOW with people in rather different timezones from me and I had planned to wait till after OF (cause how much First can I cope with yk) but then @anon451 sent me this gif...

...and did I really have a choice?

I just finished Ep 5, I watched Ep 1 three weeks ago, waiting is torturous but I am excercising patience.

SO while I have been thoroughly distracted by how much I am enjoying this show (It's so ENGAGING), have some notes so far.

THOUGHTS

...uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh

Why is everyone so pretty in this show for reals????

ANYWAY

Oh My God I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Young boy seperated from half his family takes on his twin brothers persona to find out who tried to have him murdered honestly DOES NOT sound like my thing...and yet...

...I'm starting to think I'm wrong about what my thing is.

Young man goes on journey of self-discovery and exploration where he is exposed to his own privellege and confronts both the extremism that it can forge but also his own self and views and how he is benefiting from the system and how he can fight it...(from the outside? from within?). Told through his own thoughts, his growing relationships with the "friends" of his twin brother and the contrasting conversations with said friends and his father...

I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH OKAY

AND we have this story explored in a different thread of "rebelling from within" in our newly discovered cop/artist storyline, cannot wait for that to pan out more!!

(Hey Gawin is totally in this picture okay??)

I never really thought friends were the one's who beat Black up so if that ends up being the case I WILL be shocked

EP 5

This ep however I started to feel uneasy about Todd...

(OMG seriously what's with the PRETTY did they put something in everyone's water??)

We got two different convos which seemed a bit more interogatery than I'd like, maybe he just really wants to know who hurt Black, or maybe he's using White to figure out what the friends are up too...

He IS being presented as very rich and privilegedin this show, in ways that the show is making a point of pointing out problems with (mostly in regard to Black/White's privilege but this also applies to our very rich Todd I would think...)

So is Todd being a good friend?

...idk

Is he Blacks emergency contact? I mean he must be if the hospital called him? or was he there for the beat down and then took Black to the hospital and that's why he was there?

What about the mum, what happened with her? Does she know Black nearly died? (discussed more in a mo)

Todd was the one the hospital called when Black nearly flatlined...

Also the beat down happening so soon after White arriving from Russia...did Todd know he had returned?

Also the ENTIRE car convo felt weird

W: Have you talked to my mum? She might be able to help

T: I reached out, she said she would leave it to the authorities. She wan't no involvement

(How bad was this falling out? Does she know White's back?...or is Tod lying??)

W: Todd, should I go see her?

T: You can but I don't think it'll help. The fight between Black and her was huge. It was so bad they decided to cut each other off. You know that Black got involved in some unlawful business, and your mother is a judge. They're on different sides.

(Todd casually starts prying for more info without pause...(left out B's answers))

T: When you said you'd quit, what did those guys say?

T: Do they want to keep going?

T: Do you know what they're next move is? Is it about Tawi?

T: If you're to do something you must learn all about their plan, it's too risky otherwise

T: Are you going to stop them?

It...it just feels like a lot, although given the nuance of the show so far I don't necessarily think they'll go with Rich = Bad so maybe I am reading too much into this.

I certainly WANT him to only be motivated by helping Black and White get to the bottom of whatever is going on.

I mean obvious answer is Tawi sent people to beat up Black, but why Black specifically? did they know he was the ring leader? Have our gang damaged Tawi's properties before?

We also have Eugene the girlfriend, who Eugene thought Black had broken up with...

Plus whatever maybe feelings are going on/have been going on here

(So is White's theory that Eugene made that but never gave it right...or did Black actually give it to Eugene??)

(Also I know they won't but can I at least get one kiss?? Look at this chemistry ugh please please??)

Although this IS working for me too, which I was a bit worried about, OffGun are not really a couple I've responded too before. But I am enjoying their dynamic in this a lot

Summary

I love the visuals, I love the characters, I love the story, I love the growth, (I keep getting distracted...)

Can't wait till next time!!

@plantsarepeopletoo @shouldiusemyname

Don't know when the next update will be...let me know if you want/don't want to be tagged!

Also I know I asked questions but I don't want answers!!

#Not Me #Roc plays catch up #rturts is wondering #Not me the series

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avpdvoidspace · 3 days

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Do you ever struggle with being demonized for your quietness? I have, pretty much my whole life. I think it's a huge problem in society, if I'm being honest. I'm tired of acting like my whole child-self was in the wrong for not being able to bring myself to talk in a lot of situations, especially since I didn't get diagnosed and treated for my disorders until I was an adult. To be honest, I think it's society's way of demonizing people with AvPD, non-verbal autism and selective mutism. Thinking people like us are "rude" or "suspicious" for only speaking when spoken to, or having a non-verbal episode where we can't speak at all. I was suspected of being violent or "hiding something". Also I was deemed "weird" and treated like some alien due to other neurodivergencies as well.

People on this website sometimes act like being quiet is also a weakness or result of privilege. My parents were encouraging me and trying to get me to speak all the time, though. No one was saying "you don't have to speak if you don't want to". My father used to get angry with me about it, calling me "weak" and my mother used to guilt-trip me for it, claiming I "never tried hard enough" for her because I couldn't get myself to be neurotypical.

I also grew up in a world of domestic violence. My mother told me the abuse she faced from my father started getting particularly worse when she was pregnant with me. I was a little child born on-edge and having to walk on eggshells. My parents would get into violent fights with each other and my father would hit me, too. Both my parents worked and instead of spending time at home playing or bonding with family like other kids did, I was made to go to headstart when I was only like 2. I know it might seem like not a big deal, but thinking about it, I didn't have the same experiences that average kids do, and I still don't know if whether or not that contributed to my avoidant personality. I didn't even realize most kids don't even start school until they're 4 or 5 until I was much older. People have been getting me out there and encouraging me to socialize with others since the very beginning. It never worked.

I spent my whole life hating myself for it. I felt like I was never competent and that I was a burden on my mother. And there were many times I did try to make connections with others but they ended up either backstabbing me or shaming me for my interests. I regret a lot of the times I allowed myself to be known by others. There are many memories of me simply saying things to people that make me feel awful. Terrible disorder.

I did manage to make and keep some friends. But also I'm still not truly myself with most of them and still afraid they're going to end up demonizing me too if they knew more about me. Being queer and growing up with having kinks has left me with seeing so much family, strangers, and even other queer people say people like me are "freaks" and "degenerates" to my face without knowing they're talking someone who's exactly the kind of person they think should be killed.

I saw a post recently and honestly, it doesn't even apply to me. However, it still managed evoke a lot of negative emotions and memories I am experiencing right now...

So there's this post going around that goes something like "discourse about letting kids not say 'trick or treat' is concerning"(paraphrasing) which was weird to me at first because I've never seen anyone say they allow their kids not to say it. I've always said "trick or trick" during Halloween as a kid, even adding some "meows" because I liked being a cat. So it doesn't even apply to me.

But then there were people acting like not saying it comes from a place of privilege. Someone was like (paraphrasing again)"when I was giving out candy, all the black children were lively and sweet, and all the kids who didn't say it were white and probably middle class".

And that struck me a bit. I'm mixed race. People treated me like a potential violent threat because of my quiet nature, which was a result from trauma, not anyone "babying" me. I was always working class. My parents didn't even own a car. We used public transportation to get everywhere.

BIPOC kids who are quiet get treated as threats! Of course you fucking enjoy lively black kids. If one of them was quiet, you might demonize them...

Then there were people saying "you people just need to grow up."

It's so strange that traits that apply to non-verbal autism or CPTSD get deemed as "social anxiety", because tumblr thinks that is the lesser disorder.

I don't know. I got a lot of bad memories spring up from seeing that post, and I just wanted to vent about it here. So many people demonized me for being quiet growing up and it made me believe I was a monster for so long.

I'm not even saying I encourage the behavior of refusing to talk to people. I had a nice conversation with an old woman at Dunkin yesterday. I enjoy small talk and listening to others talk, even when I can't add much to the conversation. I just worry about other children who are like how I was growing up, being traumatized and quiet and being treated like shit for it... I don't trust anyone sees "quiet" as "rude"

I'm sorry about the length and I hope you're doing well.

anon, I'm sorry this took me so long to post. I just want to say that your ask really resonated with me and I've thought about it several times since receiving it. I get similarly frustrated when I see priveleged people praising marginalized for being more friendly, more whatever, for similar reasons. Or setting up an oppression competition between two groups they're not even a part of.

#avpd #avoidant personality disorder #again #sorry to take so long to post these #have been especially avoidant

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shaymcsudonim · 3 months

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Fuck it

Rambling Essay on Sir Pentious and Alastor as Narrative Foils

Okay so, as a Christian myself, I like to apply the Jack Saint Test when analyzing stories about heaven, hell, and the afterlife.

The original version of Mr. Saint’s test goes thus: whenever a story involves talking animals, it is either a story about animals, a thinly veiled story about humans, or a work that sends mixed messages and muddies its metaphors.

For example, Shark Tale is a story about people. If all the characters were replaced with humans, the story would still make sense, as an odd couple buddy film about lying to the mafia (possibly a cannibal mafia, but I’ve seen weirder).

Whereas something like Bambi would be difficult to transpose onto humans without a number of questions being raised. Such as why a hunter is killing a human mother, why the kid matures to an adult over the course of a single year, etc.

And I’d say that the Land Before Time movies sent mixed messages and confused the hell out of me as a child. Anything where both the predators and prey were sapient and morally neutral freaked me out, tbh.

Anyway, the religious version of the Jack Saint Test would be phrased thus: stories which involve heaven, hell, and the afterlife are either stories about Religion, stories about Morality, or stories using a particular Aesthetic.

The Chronicles of Narnia are stories about Religion, specifically Christianity, complete with Lion Jesus and Bird Satan. Even if C.S. Lewis was using allegory, he was trying to convey information that was true in his worldview.

The Good Place is a story about Morality. It doesn’t care in the slightest about what the afterlife might actually look like, or even if one exists. It merely uses the framework as a method for taking the audience along for a philosophic ride about the true nature of good and evil.

Mairimashita! Iruma Kun is a story which uses religion as an aesthetic. It uses hell as a backdrop for an isekai story about making a found family out of demons. Superb, 10/10 would cry again. Not much to do with real-world religion, but it has some interesting notes on xeno-psychology, specifically on how morality might develop in sapient extremophiles.

Hazbin Hotel straddles the line between Aesthetics and Morality. Specifically about judgment, punishment, and redemption, taking place in heaven and hell as conceived by pop culture.

So yeah, St Peter as a blond white guy, demons being able to buy and sell souls like in Faust, or redemption being something possible to earn—none of those bother me, because this is clearly a story about the way that humans judge other humans in our mortal lives. It’s a modern myth, and a character-driven one at that.

That being said, I am certainly grateful that they seem to be taking the veggietales route, and are trying to avoid depicting Furry Jesus, or God the Furry. It is an interesting detail that though ‘God’ and ‘Jesus Christ’ are used as expletives in-universe, Charlie mentions neither in her opening monologue in episode 1, she even avoids mentioning God by saying that the angels worship ‘good.’

Honestly, there might not be a God in this universe, and that would be a fascinating choice from a worldbuilding perspective. Although they might simply be going with the ‘clockwork creator’ route, since the angels were the ones who created Adam, Eve, and Lillith.

Jesus not being mentioned in a story about redemption is kind of weird. Obviously, Charlie is the Christ-figure of the story. Or Anti-Christ figure as the case may be. But if the crucifixion happened, why is forgiveness a foreign concept to the angels? If it didn’t, why is ‘Jesus Christ’ a swear in universe? Is it a myth? A plot hole?

As I said, the Doylist explanation is very obviously that they’re trying to avoid stirring up too much controversy (in the first season, at least). But considering the Watsonian one is a fascinating thought exercise. (“In 10,000 years you’re the first to change this town”? If there was a resurrection, it did nothing to change hell? I will just throw that thought into the corner and ignore it).

Anyway, moving on from what the story didn’t say, what it did have to say is fascinating.

Other people have already pointed out that comparing Hazbin Hotel to Helluva Boss, the Sinners seem to sink deeper into evil than the Hellborn, comparing Rosie to Beelzebub, Valentino to Asmodeus, and Alastor to Lucifer.

And yeah, that’s a fair point. The angels and demons mostly just seem to be Normal Guys, doing their best. They have the expectation of living possibly forever unless killed, so they seem to place a greater value on stability of personality (most of them, at least). Whereas many of the humans died at the rock bottom of a self-destructive spiral and then continued to dig themselves deeper as demons.

But the two characters I find most fascinating to compare are Alastor and Sir Pentious. I was not expecting those two to be foils, and was delighted at the contrast.

I’m Ace myself, and I’m very used to the less ‘fuckable’ characters getting shoved into ‘redemption equals death,’ so I was feeling pretty cynical when Pentious’ ship got vaporized. Especially when Alastor had already survived.

And then I thought, ‘wait, there was no narrative need for both of them to face death going up against Adam, not unless the story was making a point about it.’

And then I started noticing more similarities.

Even in the pilot, the two of them clashed, with Alastor considering Sir Pentious to be beneath his notice until the other demon ripped his coat.

In terms of similarities, both are ambitious, with Alastor desiring power and freedom, and Pentious longing for recognition and accomplishment.

Both make deals in pursuit of power. Alastor gathering the souls of those with less power than he has, and Pentious spying for Vox and building war machines for conquest.

Their strengths and weaknesses, however, are different. Alastor is cold and competent, but allergic to trust and sincerity. Pentious is creative and sincere, though hot-blooded and pompous.

Now, the series is far from over, but in the first season at least, it was humility that saved Pentious and pride that damned Alastor.

Pentious is a buffoon. He’s not charismatic, at least not at first, but he’s not afraid to put his whole heart into anything he’s doing. He fails as a spy, fails as a paramour, fails as a hero. But he didn’t fail as a friend.

Alastor succeeds at infiltrating the Hotel and gaining Charlie’s regard, as well as a very literal favor from Hell’s Princess. He succeeds as an overlord. He succeeds in surviving his fight with Adam.

But he failed to redeem himself.

Now, don’t get me wrong, “I acknowledge that you are my friends, but I won’t die for you,” is huge progress. If Alastor didn’t want to be redeemed, he should have killed Charlie before she adopted him. She will never give up on him now, and Alastor is already as good as doomed.

...saved, I meant saved.

Ahem.

But—see, here’s the thing.

Alastor was so CLOSE.

Alastor the manipulator, the dealmaker, hedged his bets and took steps towards obtaining what he wants more than anything else right now: freedom and power. That’s what all his scheming and plotting is aiming for.

But he’s only working towards it. He doesn’t have anything to show for it yet.

Sir Pentious, pure of heart, dumb of ass, gave his life for his friends, the ultimate act of love. (“Greater love hath no man than this: that he give up his life for his friends.”)

And do you know what Sir Pentious has now?

Power and Freedom.

He’s quite possibly a Seraph, so he might even be third in heaven’s hierarchy? Certainly, Emily was thrilled to meet him, and the more sincere heaven-born and the heaven-bound humans will no doubt flock to support him in any efforts he makes to save his friends.

(I wouldn’t be shocked if the egg boys have been spawning as stupid but well-intentioned cherubs for years now, so he might very well have friends already. If nothing else, I’m hoping that Dazzle makes it to heaven.)

It’s just, after I had already separated this story from Christianity in my head, it hits me with a quite literal version of, “He who seeks to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” (Not that Pentious literally died for Jesus, but “whatever you have done for the least of these, you have done for me.” Emotionally, it resonates the same.)

So yeah, Hazbin Hotel sometimes blends Aesthetic, Morality, and Religion, somewhat muddying the metaphorical water in the process.

But mostly, it’s still a character-driven myth.

And I’m looking forward to season 2.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #spoilers #long post

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coffeeangelinabox · 11 days

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Whumpril #14, Alt Prompt #1: Reluctant Whumper

Yes, he agrees, yes, he’ll do it. He’ll hurt Darrow for them. Yes, he’ll force him to look into another friend’s eyes and believe he’s been betrayed once more, yes, yes, yes.

The agreement makes him feel as though his stomach lining has been replaced with those long legged, pincered bugs that infest every star system the Domain has so much as a toe in.

Yes, he knows how to hurt him.

That much is true at least. He’s a medtech and a surgeon. He knows where to cut and where to apply pressure. How to make him twitch and convulse involuntarily, how to make him bow his back and scream.

I’m sorry, Chris.

He knows how to hurt him in the right ways to keep him fighting. Darrow thrives on trauma. Being knocked down just makes him stubbornly drag himself back up, grit and dirt and blood and pain not the right weapons at all for a man like Christopher Darrow. He can keep him on the edge of consciousness, spitting and swearing and refusing to give so much as an inch. Darrow must know that as long as the Domain hierarchy are occupied with him they’re ignoring the others too, and David knows him well enough to know he’ll willingly suffer for that.

He knows how to hurt him enough to buy the occasional flinch, enough to keep his observers happy. Enough to make this appear genuine. Even as every noise that escape’s Chris’ stubborn throat flays him just as surely.

He knows how to hurt his body enough to keep them away from his mind. Knows to say, “Tell them what they want to know,” when he wants Darrow to clamp his lips to white and refuse to say anything. Knows to whisper, “Just give me something or it’ll be me here next,” as he brushes Chris’ matted fringe from his sweaty forehead when he needs to take some information, however useless to a briefing if he’s to be able to keep Darrow’s body out of the hands of the Domain’s interrogators.

Sometimes he half thinks Darrow knows what he’s doing, half thinks Darrow is playing the game and dancing along with him: eking pointless, useless information out to buy time to stall, to plan. Even when he sees pure wordless hatred in Darrow’s eyes - could be for him, could be for the situation or the Domain as a whole. It is, after all, that hatred which has kept him fighting all this time. Anyone without that fire to burn would have given up this crusade long ago. Harder to explain away is the hurt. Lee’s actions still a scar too raw for Darrow, only half lucid, to understand why it is David who is digging into him.

He doesn’t want to, it goes against every single thing he believe in, but he knows how to do this. He believes it is healing more than harming - at the least protecting the parts of Darrow that cannot be brought back.

“We won’t need your services after today,” says the young crewman as he escorts David through the cruiser to want is laughingly called the infirmary.

“Oh, no? Why not?” David is hardly listening, thinking instead about what he can do today that will elicit an obvious response whilst not being permanent. He’s running out of unmarked skin on Darrow’s body.

“Commander Fenric docked this morning. He’s already requested that his interrogation teams take over.”

David’s heart stops in his chest. It’s all he can do to keep his feet moving, his face impassive. The boy is watching him closely. They do not, after all, completely trust him yet.

“I’ll have to ensure I get anything useful today then. I can’t imagine he’ll be much use after the commander’s sadists have had their way with him.” His voice is icy, disapproving, but it seems to keep the crewman happy.

He opens the door and David steps into the room. Darrow is already laid out on the table, eyes closed and breathing steadily - determined, falsely, even breaths. He’s restrained. The tools are laid out in neat rows beside him. David already knows how this day will end.

Yes, he’d agreed. Yes, I’ll hurt him. Please let me hurt him.

Because I know I am willing to die if I accidentally kill him.

#my writing #whump #whump prompts #whumpril2024 #coffeeangelinabox's space opera ocs #I don't know why the last three days have all been “near death”#I promise I'm not on a murder spree through my ocs #they'll probably walk it off and be fine #just traumatised #which is better...probably #whumprilday14 #alt prompt #reluctant whumper #whump event

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morvantmortuary · 6 months

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It’s been a while… a long time. What about a angst-comfort of reader running away due to being overwhelmed and scared only to return to the Morvant doorstop a couple years later… since that’s essentially what I’ve done. I’ve missed them so much.

(I hope you don't mind that I held onto this one so long, beloved 👻 this was just immediately what I pictured when you sent it to me. I hope your Halloween is magical 🔮

also it is v difficult to find good group hug gifs so like here, I hope you get the vibe :’D)

The door opens again, still creaking ominously, to reveal Hector standing in front of a small wall-mounted mirror by the hat and coat rack - something obviously intended for last minute door checks before the grief-stricken walk outside into the world again. He's entirely fixated on his reflection, applying some deep purple pigment with his fingers to the angles of his cheekbones and the hollows of his eyes.

"Hey, Happy Halloween and stuff," he says, warm but slightly distracted. "Give me just a second, yeah? And I'll get you something really swee--"

He spots you in his peripheral vision, glancing once as if he thinks he's imagining it, then twice... before he sees your face for sure, and revolves on the spot to face you fully. He's wearing the deep black trousers of his Masquerade suit, but the jacket with the off-white ribcage is absent, leaving just a deep purple poet's shirt with the strings at the chest mostly undone. Around his neck is a medallion that bears the emblem of a grinning Calavera, slightly burnished from too much touching and fiddling on a leather cord. It's old. Maybe older than him.

His mouth is somewhat slack, like he's not even sure where to begin. He opens and closes it a few times, dark eyes wide with disbelief. "I... h-hey," he croaks, finally managing to speak at all.

After a moment, he shakes his head as if freeing himself from a daze. "What the fuck am I doing, christ. Amor," he breathes, crossing the threshold immediately and pulling you into a tight, swaying hug. "Oh my god, look at you! You look great!" He backs up, holding you at arm's length to look you over. "Where you been, beautiful, we've been looking all over for you! Here, hang on--" He turns from you, putting only enough distance between you and him to whistle piercingly into the foyer without hurting your ears. "HEY!"

Maxi leans out of the kitchen door in the distance, and Rora sits up from where she's being obscured by the back of the couch she's stretched out on. Both look slightly irritated at being summoned this way... until they see you.

"Baby! Hi!" Maxi's voice goes an octave higher from shock and excitement, nearly dropping the mixing bowl he was originally holding. He almost fumbles it again as he hurriedly sets it back on the counter, the black apron with skeleton print still on over his Masquerade clothes. He hustles over to join Hector, looking elated. "What a sight for sore eyes you are, good lord." He lifts you clean off the floor, spinning you around before hugging you just as tight. "We missed you so much!"

"Petal?" Rora's brow is furrowed, as if disbelieving what she sees. She's in something new, a white pantsuit that looks oddly similar in fabric to her dress from the October Incident. Rather than bones, the phtalo green thread that traces her suit jacket comes together to form a y-incision where it buttons, the top arms tracing her lapels. On every stitch, there are tiny, delicately embroidered leaves. She's skipped the makeup tonight, unlike her relatives, but her lashes were always dark enough to look applied.

She takes the longest to walk over, like a slightly spooked cat, but when she reaches you her brow unfurrows immediately with relief. "Oh, sweetheart." She pulls you into a hug scented with lilies, hiding her face in your shoulder. "You came back to us."

"Here, come on," Maxi sets a hand on each of your shoulders, gently steering you towards the kitchen with Hector's help. "You're sittin' down and havin' somethin' warm to drink, I won't hear otherwise. I've been bakin' all week, too, so there's plenty to go around..."

"You've been 'baking,' but I've been baking," Hector cuts in, the two of them falling back into old patterns. "Here, I've got this new thing I think you're gonna love, I thought of you when I was whipping it up--"

Once they've got you seated at your old favorite kitchen chair, like you never left, and you have a warm mug of cafe au lait in your hand and a heaping plate of snacks in front of you (each of the boys plying you with their own creations, each of them shooting each other dark looks as they try to subtly put their offerings front and center), the three of them sit around you - Maxi on one side, Hex and Rora on the other.

They each have their own mug of something steaming and warm, and Hex nods to you quietly, like he's giving you the floor. "So... where you been, though, for real?" he says. He nudges your socked foot gently under the table with his own. “We missed you.”

“Wherever you had to go,” Maxi chimes in, setting his hand next to your own on the table and resting his little finger on yours. “It’s okay.” He gives you a small, reassuring smile. “Sometimes people can’t always be around, and that doesn’t mean you love them any less. It just means things… need time,” he chooses his words carefully. “So people can be present again, together.”

“No one is mad,” Rora says, leaning forward and giving you her full attention. “Not at you, not ever. Hell, we understand. You did what you needed to do.” Her eyes remind you of falling asleep under your favorite tree in your childhood park, bright and green. “The important thing is that you’re here now, and we get to see you again.”

The three of them sit with you in a moment of comfortable, easy quiet. There’s no lingering fear or guilt. You’re just back, like you never left.

“…You got any cool stories though?” Hector asks, slightly hopeful. He leans his chin on his hand, giving you a nod. “Or just wanna talk, at least?”

Whatever you say next, whatever you decide to share, the three of them listen and never look away.

The cafe au lait warms your chest from the inside out, a liquid hug.

(I hope this is okay for what you were thinking, nonny, and I’m sorry it took so long. 🖤 happy halloween, we love you! 🥰)

#nice people!!#nonny!!#askbox trick or treating #morvant mortuary #maxi morvant #hector morvant-casares #rora morvant #slasher ocs #southern slasher ocs #necromancer ocs #queer horror ocs #halloween with the morvants

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pedrito-friskito · 2 years

Text

the way we were / the way we are - chapter 12 - what am I here for

summary: you deal with the aftermath of the Triskelion battle, and find a place to start with your next mission.

warnings: canon-typical violence, nothing really to warn about if you’ve seen the movies!

a/n: I am really so proud of this story and posting it on here and revisiting chapters is so fun!!

| series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 |

The only thing that breaks your gaze from the direction Bucky had disappeared in, is Steve’s pained groan.

You drop to your knees in the mud, inspecting him thoroughly: he’s a mess. Every part of him is dripping with muddy water, blood-stained or bleeding. The wound across his stomach worries you, and you pull your jacket off, trying to use it as a makeshift bandage to staunch the bleeding. He groans when you apply pleasure, and his good eye blinks up at you, weary and dazed.

“Y/N?”

“Just had to have all the fun without me, huh?” you say, trying to make a joke. You can hear sirens, and Steve’s shield is a few feet away from you in the mud. Your knees and shins are soaked through your jeans, but you don’t really care.

The good eye blinks. “It was him. He…” He groans. “Bucky remembered me. I saw it.”

“I know,” you say, nodding. “I saw it too.”

The eye goes wide. “What?”

“He pulled you from the water,” you tell him, wincing as your jacket goes warm in your hand, Steve’s blood nearly soaking through. “That ambulance better hurry up.”

Steve is just staring at you. “He pulled me from the water.”

“Somebody had to,” you say, craning your head back and looking back up the bank. There’s an ambulance parking in front of your car, paramedics pulling a stretcher from the back. Sam Wilson stands beside them, looking a little worse for wear. “Hey!”

The medics slide down the bank to where you sit with Steve. It takes some manoeuvring, and help from both you and Sam, to get Steve onto the stretcher and back up the bank. After they load him in and disappear down the road, you nod towards the car, gesturing for Sam to get in.

“Might get your seats dirty,” he says.

You lift a shoulder. “It’s a rental.” It’s not. Tony will probably skin you alive if there’s dirt on the leather, but you don’t care. You’ll pay for it to be detailed and he’ll get over it. You hope.

He’s probably already mad enough at you for disappearing, but you shake the thought away. You have bigger problems to deal with right now.

“I was wondering when I’d see you again,” Sam says as you get in the car. “Steve wanted you to sit this one out.”

You start the engine, shift into drive, and take off after the ambulance. “Did he tell you about Bucky?”

“The dude with the metal arm hell-bent on killing us all?” Sam asks, his voice high. “Yeah, he mentioned it.”

Your jaw goes tense and you’re white-knuckling the steering wheel. “He’s my husband.”

“What?”

By the time you reach the hospital and they let you into the room, Steve’s been tended to. He’s asleep, tape on his face and a large bandage across his stomach, but the cuts on his face are already starting to heal. Even so, he looks…small, in the hospital bed, and it makes your chest ache. For a second, he looks like he did all those years ago when you’d first met him, that scrawny little kid from Brooklyn who just wanted to do his part.

“You wanna sit?” Sam asks, gesturing to the chair beside Steve’s bed.

You shake your head. “I’m good. Sat for five hours driving back here.”

“Isn’t the drive from New York seven hours?”

“Only if you go the speed limit.”

Steve sleeps for most of the day, and Sam fills you in on what was missed. When he tells you what Steve did, how he ordered Hill to fire even though he was still on the helicarrier, your gut twists. Will this man ever stop trying to sacrifice himself?

You watch Nat’s hearing on the news. Capitol Hill is in an uproar, but she doesn’t care. She speaks freely, as well-spoken as ever, and you can’t help but feel a swell of pride.

“You’re not gonna put me in a prison. You’re not gonna put any of us in a prison. You know why?”

The Committee General is less than impressed, and you can see the man physically restraining himself from rolling his eyes. “Do enlighten us.”

Nat’s tiny smile makes it all worth it. “Because you need us. Yes, the world is a vulnerable place, and yes, we helped make it that way. But we’re also the ones best qualified to defend it. So if you want to arrest me, arrest me. You’ll know where to find me.”

You leave only to get food for you and Sam, and shortly after you’ve finished eating, your phone starts to ring. You slip into the hall to answer it and-

“What in the hell were you thinking?” Tony’s voice berates you through the phone.

“I’m not having this conversation right now,” you reply, surprisingly calm. “Have you seen the news?”

“Rogers’ spectacle in the Potomac? The fact that Natasha just uploaded every secret S.H.I.E.L.D. ever kept onto the internet? Yes, Y/N, I’ve seen the news.”

“Steve’s hurt,” you say, pausing a beat, but Tony doesn’t say anything. “I’ll be back in New York once I know he’s okay. You can yell at me some more then, deal?”

“Fine,” he huffs. “If you scratch that car, I’ll skin you alive.”

“Sure you will. Goodbye, Tony.”

He just grunts in response and the line goes dead. You press the edge of the phone against your mouth, frustrated. It’s your own fault, in the grand scheme of things.

Sam’s head pokes out of Steve’s room, finding you in the hallways. “Y/N, he’s asking for you.”

You all but sprint back down the hallway, brushing past Sam and into the room. Steve’s eyes follow you as you slide into the chair Sam had been occupying.

“Hi,” he says, his voice hoarse.

“Hi,” you return, unable to stop the tears that fill your eyes. “How do you feel?”

“Probably about as good as I look.” Steve winces, adjusting himself in the bed. “Does Tony know you’re here?”

You nod. “He’s not happy about it. I may or may not have stolen one of his cars to get here.”

Steve’s eyes widen a bit. “Y/N, I-”

“Don’t,” you say, reaching across and taking his tape-covered hand in yours. It makes you think of when you had first woken up, when you’d been confined to the hospital bed, barely able to move. Steve had barely left your side. “You couldn’t expect me to stay away, not from this.”

“He’s alive,” Steve whispers, and his voice cracks.

You squeeze his hand. “He is.”

“You were right. I should have…we should have…”

“Stop it,” you tell him. “We didn’t know. We were both there when he fell from the train. We had no way of knowing that whatever Zola did would have saved his life.”

“You still had faith,” Steve says, and you just blink back at him. “I saw it on your face, the day we went to the museum. I thought you were gonna pass out, but I saw it. You never stopped believing it.”

He’s right, you have to admit. You hate it when he’s right.

After getting over the initial shock and horror of Steve telling you they never found all of Bucky’s body, you couldn’t shake the feeling. In all rational sense, you knew he had to be dead. No one could have survived that fall from the train. No one should have. But there was…something, some tiny spark in the back of your mind that couldn’t let it go, couldn’t accept the fact that you had lived and he had died. It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t fair. You’d survived seventy years in the ice, and now you had to live out the rest of you life, in a world you were starting to understand all too well, without him?

It wasn’t fair.

Steve’s hand twitches in your grasp. “I asked Nat for a favour.”

You lift your free hand from your lap, swipe the cuff of your sleeve under your wet eyes. “Oh?”

“She had some intel,” he says with a nod, and winces again as he adjusts himself, “about the Winter Soldier. If I’m gonna track him down, it’s at least a start.”

“You?”

Steve nods. “Me. Maybe Sam, if he’ll help. Nat will hopefully have a few leads, it’s at least something to start with.” His eyes flick to your face. “Let me do this, Y/N. Let me bring him back to you.”

You feel cold all over for a moment, and pull your hand from his. Steve sighs, and you pull one foot up onto the chair, bracing your arms around your knee. You shake your head at Steve, the fingers on your right hand reaching for the fourth finger on your left, your empty knuckle.

“You said that to me once before,” you tell him. His eyes flutter shut for a second, but then you lock eyes once more. “In ’45, right before we went into the ice. I’m not sitting this out, Steve. No way in hell.”

“Please-”

Now you’re just mad. “Has it ever even occurred to you that I might actually be useful? And not just to you, but to the world? To the Avengers? Every time I see him, Tony gives me some speech about how if I hone my skills enough, and if you give the green light, he’d let me in. He’d let me help. And this? You want to track down Bucky without me? How hard did you hit your head when you fell?”

“It’s dangerous, Y/N,” Steve breathes out. You can see the frustration on his face, but you don’t care. “You saw him, he’s not himself. He could hurt you, or me, or both of us. And if something happened to you, if he hurt you, I would never forgive myself.”

“You keep telling me that it’s dangerous, but I’m just as indestructible as you are. You can’t keep shoving me to the side every time something comes up. I didn’t sleep for seventy years to sit around and do nothing. Bucky is alive. I’m helping.”

“No.”

“Why are you so ready to die?” you ask. The question is out of your mouth before you can stop it. Something sparks in his eyes, and then he looks away. “You’re always so ready to put yourself in the line of fire, to throw yourself on the grenade to protect the other guy. You don’t have to do it all alone, Steve. You’re allowed to lean on people. The war is over.”

He shakes his head. “We just traded in one for another.”

“Then we fight,” you say. “We fight together. It doesn’t all have to fall on you.” Your anger has faded some, and you reach out and take his hand again. “Besides, I’d worry about you too much if I left.”

“You shouldn’t worry about me.”

You scoff. “It’s part of my job, old man. Someone’s gotta do it, and Nat’s got enough on her plate, clearly. Plus, I made a promise to Bucky that I would look out for you.”

“We’re the same age,” he says, rolling his eyes. “You can’t call me old man.”

You shrug, giving him a little grin. “I’ve been hanging around Tony too much, clearly. He’s rubbing off on me.”

Steve sighs. “I guess I should have learned by now, there’s no easy way to get rid of you.”

“Not in this lifetime.”

A few days later, you’re at the cemetery with Steve and Sam, standing over Fury’s grave. The path of the righteous man. Ezekiel 25:17.

“So, you’ve experienced this sort of thing before?” Fury asks, and you all turn to watch him approach, hoodie obscuring most of his face, sporting sunglasses instead of the usual eyepatch.

You and Steve share a knowing look. “You get used to it,” Steve offers.

Fury just nods “We’ve been data-minding HYDRA’s files. Looks like a lot of rats didn’t go down with the ship. I’m headed to Europe tonight, wanted to ask if you’d come.”

“There’s something I gotta do first,” Steve replies, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

You’re quick to correct him. “Something we have to do.”

The corner of Steve’s mouth twitches, and Fury turns to Sam. “How about you, Wilson? Could use a man with your abilities.”

Sam shakes his head. “I’m more of a soldier than a spy.”

“Barnes?” Fury’s gaze slides to you, but you just shake your head.

“I’ve got a mission of my own, but thank you, sir.”

“Alright then.” You each shake hands with him in turn, and he points down at the gravestone. “Anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me right here.”

Fury disappears off through the cemetery, and when you turn back, Natasha is striding over to you, a brown folder held in her grip. “You should be honoured; that’s about as close as he gets to saying thank you.” She gives you a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. “Good to see you, Y/N.”

“You too.”

“Not going with him?” Steve asks.

Nat shakes her head, grimacing. “No.”

“But you’re not staying here,” you say. It’s not a question. You know Nat – at least, as well as she’ll allow you to know her.

“I blew all my covers,” she replies, lifting a shoulder. “I gotta go figure out a new one.”

Steve’s eyes narrow slightly. “That might take a while.”

“I’m counting on it,” Nat grins. Then she hands the file to Steve. “That thing you asked for. I called in a few favours from Kiev.”

You look over Steve’s shoulder as he flips open the file. It’s all in Russian, the words just marks on a page to you, but right there, atop the stack of papers inside, is Bucky.

The Bucky you now know as the Winter Soldier. Your heart lurches in your chest, but it’s him, through frosted glass. His lips are slightly parted, eyes shut tight. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was sleeping. But you do know better.

And there, affixed to the bottom of the larger photo with a paper clip, is a much more familiar version of him. Dressed in his military uniform, hat on his head, smile in his eyes. The photo is black and white, so you can’t see the colour in them, but you know that if you could, there’d be no trace of the steel you’ve come to know. He looks…innocent. Happy. Whole.

Steve flips the folder shut. Natasha looks between the two of you. “Steve, will you do me a favour? Call that nurse?”

You blink. “Kate?”

“She’s not a nurse,” Steve retorts.

“And you’re not a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent,” Nat throws back, and all you can do is raise a brow at the both of them. You look at Sam, but he looks just as confused.

“What was her name again?”

“Sharon,” Nat supplies. “She’s nice.” You watch as she leans up on her toes, presses a kiss to Steve’s cheek. His eyes fall shut, and for a moment, you feel like you’re watching something you’re not supposed to. It seems too…intimate. She gives you another quick hug, slips a piece of paper into your hand with a phone number on it. “It’s a burner,” she tells you, “but if you call, I’ll answer. No matter what.”

You hug her tightly, and as soon as you let her go, she’s gone, disappearing in the opposite direction that Fury had.

Sam looks between the two of you, glancing at the folder in Steve’s hand. You take it from him after a moment, flipping through the pages, frustrated when you realize they’re almost all in Russian. “You’re going after him?” Sam asks Steve, who opens his mouth to reply.

But you beat him. “We are going after him.”

“Would you let that go?” Steve quips, nudging you in the side with his elbow. “I already told you yes.” Then he looks back to Sam. “You don’t have to come with us.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “When do we start?”

No one notices him when he walks into the museum. No one even glances in his direction as he climbs the stairs to the exhibit. Steve Rogers’ face looks back at him at every turn. It makes his stomach do backflips.

He reads every piece of information in the exhibit. Read and re-reads each display over and over until they’re committed to his memory, like the words are water and he is dying of thirst.

There’s nothing about you, which he’s not surprised by. You weren’t a soldier. You were…you.

And you were his. Once upon a time.

When he closes his eyes, he can still see you, standing there on the riverbank, shouting his name. A name he’d nearly forgotten again until it fell from your lips. You were exactly as he remembered, your face a mirror image of what he’d conjured in his mind. You looked the same, your style adjusted to the time, but your hair is still how he remembers, tumbling in curls over your shoulders. Your eyes are the same, full of life, full of love he doesn’t feel like he deserves anymore.

He had pulled the trigger, before Bucky had even had a chance to fight back.

“You know me,” you’d said, and your voice was so sure, that he would have believed anything that followed. “My name is Y/N Barnes. I lived in New York City. I married James Buchanan Barnes on March 9th, 1943. You know me.”

He believed you. His finger faltered on the trigger. There was half a moment, and then the shield dropped from your grip. He couldn’t move. If he pulled the trigger, you’d be dead in an instant.

She should be dead, he growls. She shouldn’t be here.

“You know me,” you’d said again. “I know you do.”

A memory slammed into him so hard he nearly toppled over.

Your skin, warm beneath his hands. He could hear your heartbeat against his ear, quick like hummingbird wings. He can feel your arms around his neck, your fingertips stroking the dip of his spine over and over and over again. “I never wanna leave this spot,” he told you. “This is home, right here.”

You were home. His home.

The gun fell to the ground.

“You know me.”

He did. He does. He always will.

But, “No, I don’t,” is what came out instead, and then he turned on his heel and started running.

Bucky blinks hard.

He stays in the exhibit until the museum is closing, then shuffles out into the constant foot traffic that Washington has to offer. He’s just a face in a crowd, but he knows he needs to leave, get out of the capital. Get out of the country, ideally. HYDRA will try and reclaim their weapon, he knows. They always do.

Only now, he knows you’re alive. He has a reason to fight back.

—————

I have a taglist! if you’d like to be tagged in future works, please fill out this form! 💕

bucky barnes tags: @thomasthetankson @matchat3a @moonlarking @whosfrankie @ancientbeing10 @woomen23 @itwasthereaminuteago @williamjzanders @enchantingqueenkitten @minxsblog @a-zterisk @randomwords3000 @i-simp-much @loonymagizoologist @pariahsparadise @greeneyedblondie44 @dead-pool-simp @ruhro7 @alyona-romanova @mrssarahpaulsooonn @katiebby04 @wh0reforbucknasty

#the way we were / the way we are #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #the winter soldier #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes smut #the winter soldier fic #the winter soldier smut #bucky barnes x y/n #my fics

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altairring · 1 year

Note

that character bingo, in celebration of Hideyoshi's bday, HIDEYOSHI! IkeSen & SLBP? Or just IkeSen, whichever you prefer~

bonus: preferred IkePri boy-o

HEEEY KAEEEEE~

This will be LONG because I'm gonna post both the bingo and my explanations about them since I have So Many Thoughts atm.

Oh, hah, since we’re here can I request Nobuyuki (SLBP), Saizo, and Clavis from you? 👀✨

So here’s my bingo:

For my ikepri boyos and I cant choose one...sadly. So, I did three!

Here goes my ramblings:

Hideyoshi Toyotomi (SLBP) 🌻

He’s my first route in SLBP and I honestly don’t remember anything from it. All I know is that he used to be my best boi and if he has a route in story events I always do it (which is, unfortunately—very rare). I do know he will always have a place in my heart.

His design is so…plain. But I think everyone is in SLBP. Well, at least his armor is decent unlike whatever the fuck Inuchiyo wears skskdjwjcjs

Hideyoshi Toyotomi (IkeSen) 🌻

To be honest, all the “you’re my little sister” schtick in his route is…*punches him* but gosh once you guys are together and that trope has already passed then he’s perfect. Ugh, maybe I should’ve shaded the squeak the squeak square. The feeling of getting spoiled is foreign for me but I melt whenever he shows affection. I will squish him.

Also he’s very handsome. I love his outfit so much. The perfect blend of green and red. So beautiful. And sunflower as a part of his motif too? Call me the basic bitch idc I really like sunflowers lmaoo 🌻.

*inhales deeply*

Now, for my ikepri boyos…I have three favorites. I can’t choose between the three of them so I did all of them.

Rio Ortiz 🐶

Okay…I might be lying when I said I can’t choose between the three—because I will choose Rio in a heartbeat.

Maybe I just have a thing for characters that appears first in-game because I am that easy to get attached.

Realistically, I want him to be my partner in life. As a demiromantic, he fits my criteria lmao (no wonder I love the friends-to-lovers trope so much). Sure, he has flaws like him being pushy or overwhelming buuuut the thing is—I can tolerate it. Or rather I know he would stop once he knows my boundaries.

Anyway, he’s the love of my life. Exactly my type. I daydream about him so much. Head empty, only him. If he was real, I would marry him without hesitation. I want whatever kind of love he can offer to Emma/me.

He may be the love of my life but, goodness, the only thing that saved him from the typical blonde with blue eyes character is his ear cuff—which I desperately want to wear but my earlobes hurt. Seriously, how can he wear that every single day.

he is hot in his white shirt tho homleefuck

Clavis Lelouch 🐆

From his name to his appearance he is so fucking handsome.

Peak Gender Envy. Not gonna lie, I wasn't fond of him at first but my god he is so my fucking type. Clavis may be a red flag but I'm willing to Risk It. He's actually pretty nice right after you get with him, though.

I have two moods and it's me being soff or me wanting to slam to a wall so hard it cracks. He makes me pull my hair because he is that lovely bastard. Clavis has many layers and I volunteer to unveil them all. Once you get to know more about him (especially his angst) you will inevitably fall for him. I will say more about him but he literally makes me speechless. Clavis Lelouch is that amazing. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone dislike him especially after reading his route. However, like I said, he’s a red flag if placed in real life, so pretty privilege is applied to him (I love him so much tho LMAO).

Gilbert von Obsidian 🐯🖤

Eye as red as the flag that he represents. I have never once liked villains. Only morally grey characters. But for him I will flip my whole world for him.

Not much can be said from him other than the fact he caught me hook, line, and sinker. I am so invested with him no matter how manipulative he gets (he’s like an open-book Nobuyuki). Since he bullies Emma, I will bully him back :>. Equivalent exchange, methinks.

Regardless, I really like him and occupies my brain like 50% of the time since I got to know more about him lmao. I got so obsessed with him that I’m willing to drop money (responsibly) just to get content about Gilbert.

Lastly, ikepri en devs was so right to call him The Cruel Beauty. I really do find him beautiful and scary. I find it annoying that he knows he is pretty (joking).

#feel free to ignore the ramblings my brain opens up like a dam whenever someone asks anything abt #…about my hyperfixations?#because…#SHIT DID I MAKE SENSE AT ALL #alt asks #KAEE TY FOR THE ASKKKK #i cant wait to see ur stance on nobuyuki 👀#OHMYGOD IT'S SO HARD TO TUMBLR I HAD TO FORMAT BOTH IN BOTH PC AND IPAD LMAO

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iforimaginary · 8 months

Text

Hello there!

☆ I go by Imaginary on most social media platforms- so I guess that’s what you’re stuck calling me… ☆

↓↓↓

Basics:

• I’m something roughly dude adjacent and use he/they pronouns. I wouldn’t be too opposed to any neo-pronouns you may choose to use.

• I was born in Russia however I have a hefty mix of Russian, Ukrainian and Mongolian blood. Essentially it all boils down to me being white + asian.

• I’ve moved since and am now based in the UK. However, I do tend to travel a-lot so there is no telling where on the globe I might be at any given moment.

• I fluently speak Russian, English and French (though I am terribly out of practice and might be rusty). I know a good bit of Latin and am currently learning Japanese!

DNI:

• I’ve been active online for the better part of my tween and teenage years so I am well aware that not everyone will be everybody’s cup of tea. If the type of content I put out doesn’t particularly resonate with you, please be reasonable and simply scroll by :)

• I am part of the LGBTQ+ community and it goes without saying that anyone residing with homophobic or transphobic views will not be tolerated on this blog.

• The same sentiment is also applied to any kind of anti-asian or anti-black dispositions.

Content:

• I like to keep myself busy so I engage in everything from writing fan-fiction to drawing fan-art and even cosplaying!

• As far as writing goes; I will mainly post drabbles and short one-shots on this blog. Any of my longer works that may be advertised here will be posted on my Ao3 profile (can be found in ‘Links’).

• As far as art goes; Anything from rough sketches to fully rendered pieces will be posted on this blog. Feel free to repost or repurpose my art but please be sure to give credit to this specific blog regardless of the social media you choose to repost or repurpose it on!

• As far as cosplay goes; I will not be posting any of my cosplays on here as Tumblr tends to associate cosplaying with NSFW content and SW (which there is absolutely nothing wrong with, I simply don’t engage with producing such content). However, if you wish to see my work it’s predominantly posted on my TikTok page (can be found in ‘Links’).

Fandoms:

• Getting some self promotion out of the way: If you’re feeling so inclined, consider joining a new fandom… check out my concept for a WIP Will Wood Jukebox Musical titled Welcome To Suburbia

• Where do I even start… I’ve been a massive part of fandom culture since I was in my early tweens and there is absolutely no way of encompassing every single fandom I have ever been in, but I can surely try:

Film & TV:

Sherlock BBC; Hannibal NBC; The Umbrella Academy; IT; Marvel; DC; Harry Potter; Fight Club; Back To The Future; American Horror Story; Dr Who; Good Omens; The Sandman.

Anime & Animation:

Gravity Falls; Inside Job; South Park; TAWoG; Adventure Time; MLP; Sailor Moon; WINX Club; Monster High; Kakegurui; Moriarty The Patriot; Neon-Genesis Evangelion; Black Butler.

Games:

FNaF; Cup Head; Cult Of The Lamb; Sally Face; DDLC; Animal Crossing; Splatoon; Legend Of Zelda; Mario Brothers; Project Sekai (Colourful Stage); The Last Of Us; Detroit Become Human.

Books & Literature:

Frankenstein; Jekyll & Hyde; Dracula; Steven King’s Collection; Neil Gaiman’s Collection; Лето В Пионерском Галстуке (Summer In A Scout’s Tie).

Links:

• Role Play Blog

• Ao3

• Pinterest

• Spotify

• TikTok

• Instagram

Afterword…

Any and all engagement with this blog is appreciated. I love receiving comments and questions- anything that let’s me meaningfully interact with other users is always welcome.

☆ Stay safe and have a great day!! ☆

#get to know me #introduction #introductory post #intro post #my dni #my content #my fandoms #my links #lgbtqia #lgbtqia creator #multilingual #multilingual creator #any and all engagement is very much loved and appreciated #Spotify

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skies-full-of-song · 9 months

Text

After thinking for a long, long time, decided to make a separate blog for blorboposting, and after more long time, finally set it up.

[Icon ID: Part of a cover art for a W.I.T.C.H. comics issue, depicting the character Orube from the chest up, slightly bending forward, bracing herself with her arm, looking up and confidently smiling. She is a thin, young adult light-skinned folken with neck-length dark hair with brow-length bangs that is tied up in the back with a pink ribbon going around the back of her head, and yellow eyes. She is wearing a light kimono-like garment. /End icon ID]

[Header ID: A deliberately low-quality image; a rectangular, horizontally-positioned flag made up of seven equal-width stripes, the middle being white and the other, symmetrically, different shades of red — light, bright, dark, from the center outward. There is a white circle in the center, the width of the three middle stripes. The three top stripes have the words on the left of the image: “violence, rage, murder”; in the bottom of the image is a black rectangle with the word “autism” in large, flaming letters. In the center of the image, onto the white circle, is edited the head of Sovereign Slayer from Homestuck — a black silhouette of a dog’s head from the front view, with pointed, upward ears, and white eyes narrowed in angry determination, a white scar crossing the right eye. /End header ID]

All of this might get updated.

Plaintext version under the cut, because I’m afraid otherwise plaintexts were *greatly reducing* accessibility.

! Important — discourse stance !

All nonconsensual actions, as well as institutions associated with them, must be tagged / otherwise warned about.

I need to say this here: there is no such thing as consensual violation of consent.

^ Before someone goes at me: this is not about roleplay. Roleplay of consent violation is not consent violation.

One's tastes in fiction do not reflect their values. That includes both "what" and "how".

How one views things in fiction does matter. Emotions/etc and views are different things.

Boundaries

(A couple of things that might seem weirdly specific are directly sourced from past interactions):

Absolutely no Dirk Strider negativity (as in "he completely fucking sucks as a person", not "this thing he was doing was fucked up") in interactions, please.

Do not make Russia- and/or USSR-related jokes on my posts.

Do not derail my headcanons about disability and/or transness with “lol I think this character is the most neurotypical/cis actually”.

Do not fucking joke about characters’ height and “immaturity”, separately or together.

No crack interaction. No ironic homestuckposting interaction.

If I am talking about a specific iteration of a media, do not involve other iterations in the discussion, at least without making a firm distinction. This especially applies to W.I.T.C.H. “Do not involve” does not apply to Dragonlance & The Last Trial, but do make a distinction, and I’ll try to do my best for that either (my first major time being into an adaptation first and then into the original source too).

Would appreciate tagged

Homestuck postcanon (Epilogues, HS2, Pesterquest) — just with the media’s tags

Dirk Strider negativity — #dirk strider negative

Things related to the Nightmares scene in The Last Trial. #nightmares of the sorcerer, perhaps?

Would appreciate being tagged in

Positive Dirk Strider meta

Art of Spades Slick killing/harming Snowman

Fiction interests

Might later tier them by depth of investment. For now I just want to finally get this going.

Might also post about something in which I usually have too little interest to put it here.

W.I.T.C.H. comics*

Homestuck (incl. Hiveswap and Friendsim)

Doctor Who**

"The Silmarillion", as well as other parts of the Tolkien's Legendarium but less

The Last Trial (Dragonlance musical)

Dragonlance

The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Dragon Age

Infinity Train

Star Wars

Revolutionary Girl Urena

W.I.T.C.H. TV show

Ever After High

Steven Universe

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

*W.I.T.C.H. comics — Sagas 1–5 and the Takeda storyline from the Eighth.

**Doctor Who: directly familiar with:

Everything chronologically from the beginning of the First Doctor's life to the book The Sorcerer’s Apprentice that came out before 2022

Every TV story from then to Ian and Barbara leaving

With a couple of small exceptions in prose, and the Curse of Fatal Death special, every single story that has the Master in it, that came out before Summer 2022

The entire Season 7

The Brain of Morbius

Caves of Androzani

The entire Season 23

The entire TV revived main series

Class TV series

Volumes 1–3 and Episode 4x1 of Gallifrey audio series

Several early Eighth Doctor audios (with Charley)

The first two volumes of The Diary of River Song

The Book of the War but still with unread patches because it literally makes my head hurt e h h

The prequel to Newton’s Sleep

The header is edited from the first image from here: https://www.tumblr.com/azuremist/692242976563511296

Plaintext version

Important — discourse stance

All nonconsensual actions, as well as institutions associated with them, must be tagged / otherwise warned about.

I need to say this here: there is no such thing as consensual violation of consent.

^ Before someone goes at me: this is not about roleplay. Roleplay of consent violation is not consent violation.

One's tastes in fiction do not reflect their values. That includes both "what" and "how".

How one views things in fiction does matter. Emotions/etc and views are different things.

Boundaries

(A couple of things that might seem weirdly specific are directly sourced from past interactions):

Absolutely no Dirk Strider negativity (as in "he completely fucking sucks as a person", not "this thing he was doing was fucked up") in interactions, please.

Do not make Russia- and/or USSR-related jokes on my posts.

Do not derail my headcanons about disability and/or transness with “lol I think this character is the most neurotypical/cis actually”.

Do not fucking joke about characters’ height and “immaturity”, separately or together.

No crack interaction. No ironic homestuckposting interaction.

Would appreciate tagged

Homestuck postcanon (Epilogues, HS2, Pesterquest) — just with the media’s tags

Dirk Strider negativity — #dirk strider negative

Things related to the Nightmares scene in The Last Trial. #nightmares of the sorcerer, perhaps?

Would appreciate being tagged in

Positive Dirk Strider meta

Art of Spades Slick killing/harming Snowman

Fiction interests

Might later tier them by depth of investment. For now I just want to finally get this going.

Might also post about something in which I usually have too little interest to put it here.

W.I.T.C.H. comics*

Homestuck (incl. Hiveswap and Friendsim)

Doctor Who**

"The Silmarillion", as well as other parts of the Tolkien's Legendarium but less

The Last Trial (Dragonlance musical)

Dragonlance

The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Dragon Age

Infinity Train

Star Wars

Revolutionary Girl Urena

W.I.T.C.H. TV show

Ever After High

Steven Universe

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

*W.I.T.C.H. comics — Sagas 1–5 and the Takeda storyline from the Eighth.

**Doctor Who: directly familiar with:

Everything chronologically from the beginning of the First Doctor's life to the book The Sorcerer’s Apprentice that came out before 2022

Every TV story from then to Ian and Barbara leaving

With a couple of small exceptions in prose, and the Curse of Fatal Death special, every single story that has the Master in it, that came out before Summer 2022

The entire Season 7

The Brain of Morbius

Caves of Androzani

The entire Season 23

The entire TV revived main series

Class TV series

Volumes 1–3 and Episode 4x1 of Gallifrey audio series

Several early Eighth Doctor audios (with Charley)

The first two volumes of The Diary of River Song

The Book of the War but still with unread patches because it literally makes my head hurt e h h The prequel to Newton’s Sleep

The header is edited from the first image from here: https://www.tumblr.com/azuremist/692242976563511296

#swearing cw #fandom blog #pinned

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viscountessevie · 2 years

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Part 2: What The Cast Should Have Done

READ PART 1 FIRST - IT’S THE MAIN FOCUS

First off, I would like to say I’m disappointed at myself for prematurely bringing up Jonny’s name before I had these two posts written up. I shouldn’t have done that at all. Clarifying my point again too early made it worse. Suddenly, even though my original post asked about what you all thought of Regé posting his story and his POV, my ask box was just either flooded with defending/being curious about what Jonny did or being against him for this. It completely ended up centring the conversation on Regé’s white cast mates.

This was on me for prematurely bringing up Jonny’s name and not thinking it through, and I deeply regret that. Also definitely time for us to check our bias & blindspots as always, to think about how and why we quickly started talking more about Jonny.

That being said, here's my points along with the takeaways I’ve gotten after hearing my friends (the same ones tagged in Part 1!) out on this. A special shoutout to Triv @hptriviachamp who pretty much co-wrote this with me since she provided her thoughts/answers to my asks so I’ll be quoting her most of them time below.

Okay so I’ve said this a couple times before but going to reiterate it one last time. I only placed importance on Jonny before because I don’t expect shit from the rest of them and Phoebe is already pretty much being written out of the show at this point. However that aside, the onus is not just on Jonny or Phoebe to protect their onscreen partners but the whole cast and crew could have done what ROP and Kenobi did.

ROP made the solidarity statement seen in Regé’s story which can be found here. With Kenobi, they had Ewan McGregor, a representative of the show aka the face/star of the show, to speak out for everyone.

From the chronically online NC to no social media Luke T/Claudia: all these people, especially white people, have the power to do/say something. Luke could find another way to communicate this. Nicola could learn and stop saying bullshit. They have interviews and live events they always do. Yt people don't know how to be allies or even what an ally is - this is very apparent in our own fandom as well.

Now I’m bringing in my anons to further illustrate these points and expand on them! So I've gotten a couple of different anons with conflicting views. I think it's one of those situations where both things can be true so I am putting all of them here to let them speak for themselves before elaborating:

Triv: It’s upsetting that "they'd never do it" but we should try to hold them to a higher standard anyway

Yeah we know this, that the Production side especially the higher ups you listed along with JQ and some cast members - we all know who - perpetuate this. However, if they really wanted sell this ‘great’ “diversity is why we are set apart from other media” lie to us even more, a solidarity statement when #NotMyDuke was trending or racist hate at Simone and Charithra was being thrown, would have definitely shown the cast of colour they had the support of their show.

Production can pretend not to perpetuate it all they want, but showing that kind of solidarity and support against racist 'fans' would have gone a long way and made the cast of colour feel safer. Like Triv said it's about holding them to a higher and better standard and honestly it's THE LEAST Regé deserved especially as a lead and draw of S1. [Of course goes without saying this applies to Simone in S2 as well.]

(Also Anon I’m guessing you may have sent this ask to Mimi? We don’t have to agree with everything and that’s okay! I have friends on both sides of the Kathony subfandom and I never fully agree with any of them lol. Some like Showina a little more than I do and some dislike (putting it lightly oop) Showina a little more than I do. It’s our difference is what makes us unique and the important thing is grounding ourselves, respecting and putting each other first - anyways if this not you nor about me oops ignore this but a good side lesson for everyone nonetheless)

With this ask in particular, I understand your frustration but we really need to look at this situation through the lens of intersectionality which I can provide as a queer POC. While it's no oppression Olympics, I will say growing up I did get more racially charged abuse swung my way than I did for being queer. Then again, this is my personal experience.

I think we can all respect Jonny, his sexuality and acknowledge that he does get hate for it and call it out. At the same time, we can point out that he along with the rest of the white cast could have done more especially given their position of power with production and the fans compared to their cast of colour counterparts. I don't think these points are mutually exclusive.

Triv's take: Marginalized groups should uplift one another. I think it's wrong to expect more from Johnny specifically (it applies to everyone regardless of race or sexual orientation and white people should be allies regardless) but we should expect more from the entire cast, crew, and especially the people at the top who set the standard for the cast culture. I wasn't a big believer on the importance of "culture" in a work environment until I started mock my freshman year and the team was getting out of a very toxic era (in terms of hazing, no solidarity, and lack of diversity) and over the past 4 years I've seen that transition to a better culture because my coaches and captains are very explicit about team culture and literally make ppts about it. Culture matters.

Putting these two together because they are similar in calling out the ‘main/flagship’ actors of the show and I’ve talked about how we should be putting it on everyone already so just going to let these anons say their piece and close it off with Trivia’s take:

That's a very interesting point about the "main people" like Coughlan and Jonny having more of a duty to uplift people of color... I'm unsure if I agree (as opposed to all of them having that duty) but I guess... it depends on how much power they actually have within the show and whether we think they inherently have more power as white people (which they do) to the extent where we should put more of an onus on them. Real change comes in the form of the people at the top supporting them and ensuring they get promo and interviews and whatnot. It's not about the individual (Jonny, Coughlan, whatever) but about the group

Triv is absolutely right and she pretty much said it all so I don’t have anything to add on this front.

In conclusion, I think despite Production perpetrating it, the show still should have protected Regé when the ‘fans’ were being shitty. If the cast didn’t want to bite the hand that puts them on the payroll, again they could have just called out the so-called fans. That way, it was still a show of public support and standing up for their cast mates.

It would also have shut down the hate to a certain extent for those yts to know that their bigotry is frowned upon by their white faves. After all, they only listen to each other it seems. Maybe it may have even curbed how a lot of the fandom bigots behave on here and it would actually feel like a safer space for minority fans. However, none of that happened and we all have to live with the landscape we have now. Living with it obviously doesn’t mean we just take it lying down - we should never ever stop calling these people out. They feel uncomfortable? Good. They don’t even feel the half of what we all go through seeing them post racially ignorant bullshit ‘thinly veiled’ in their posts.

Finally, I just sincerely hope that Regé got the support and love he deserved behind the scenes with his own circle of friends and loved ones. I hope Simone and every other future POC lead and ensemble character gets the same from their own circle since no one is publicly standing up for them - definitely not in the explicit way it needs to be done to get people to back off.

Final note: Thank you all so much for reading and I hope the wait was worth it. This being said, writing this up took a lot out of me. I knew I was going to press pause on discourse asks for a while after posting this as I expanded on the type of posts I wanted to blog on here. However, taking about half a week to write all this and kind of stressing about it at times, made me realise I do need the break. Don’t worry I’ll still be in the drama loop reblogging asks and posts from my other friends, just won’t be making my own discussion posts for a while. Hope yall understand!

#Bridgerton #Regé Jean Page #Bridgerton Cast #Bridgerton Racism #Bridgerton Fandom Racism #Jonathan Bailey #Simone Ashley #I wanna tag you know who but not worth having her stans in my comments #Also asks are still closed til I can finish clearing most of them #I'm not afraid of the hate I just don't like the number 62 staring at me lmao #Bridgerton Asks

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wondereads · 11 months

Text

Weekly Reading Update (06/12/23)

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White (9/10)

This book was amazing. There are very few bad things I could say about it, and most of those are personal preference. Now, it isn't for everyone, as it's basically gothic horror to the extreme with some very sensitive topics. However, as long as you can stomach this sort of thing, I highly recommend this book. It's dark, tense, and not without some hope. My one technical gripe is how perfect Daphne seems, but that can be easily brushed past. I really liked the writing, especially with how the author played with the style and actual look of it.

The Raven King by Nora Sakavic (8/10)

There truly must be something wrong with me to willingly continue the All for the Game series. I am being so deadly serious when I say these books are horrendously written. It's based on a sport that's basically fancy lacrosse that is given the bare minimum explanation, the pacing is all over the place, and the plot is poorly connected if not outright nonsensical. And yet here I am. I think this series, thanks to strangely evocative characters and its absurdist plotlines, evokes the same feelings as fanfiction. As an actual published novel, this is a garbage fire. As something fun and quick to read, it hits every button. The absolute misery Neil goes through only to be put back together by his team and his not-boyfriend just works. I immensely enjoyed myself, but also 0/10 never read these books.

The King's Men by Nora Sakavic (7/10)

This book being the longest of the series makes sense, but I still don't think it was enough. Everything I said about The Raven King applies to this book, and I'm incredibly feral about Neil and Andrew. However, the ending is rushed to the extreme. The resolution is pretty unsatisfying, and I feel like there's still a lot of character stuff to be sorted out, particularly concerning Andrew. The ending was just way too abrupt, and I wish the epilogue had been a proper chapter with a different epilogue set in the weeks/months after the finals. Well, that's what fanfiction is for, and it will probably be better written than these books.

Lioness Rampant by Tamora Pierce (9/10)

This concludes my reread of Song of the Lioness! I'll be continuing with The Immortals Quartet soon, but for now, I really like the ending to this series. This is likely the saddest book in the series with two major deaths, and no, Liam is not included in that, good riddance. Honestly, my retching whenever he started talking is what brought this down from a 10 for me. Alanna has grown so much since the beginning of the series, coming to a place where she can accept love and femininity without letting it affect her own goals. One thing I really like is how close she, Jon, and George are despite their complicated romantic pasts with each other. The fact that their friendship takes precedence over anything else means so much to me.

Fire and Ice by Erin Hunter (CR, 53%)

I've been working very slowly through these books since I'm doing a project with them on the side, but they're pretty good. I will say that I'm not a huge fan of this one in the context of the series. Both Fireheart and Graystripe consistently make pretty bad decisions all throughout which just makes more and more problems. I will say that I love Fireheart's relationship with the apprentices, Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw. Their mentor/mentee but still playful dynamic is great, and it's admirable how Fireheart steps up for Brackenpaw in Graystripes, ahem, absence.

Exile by Shannon Messenger (CR, 1%)

I've barely started this one, but I'm excited!

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (CR, 5%)

I'm a weak, weak woman. It's been around three years since I read Folk of the Air, and I miss it so much. I have a very unhealthy attachment to Jude, which means Cardan and I have something in common. I'm just rereading a lot of stuff right now, and I feel like reading something I know I'll love will help me catch up on my reading goal (I'm eight books behind).

#books #reading update #the spirit bares its teeth #the raven king #the king’s men #lioness rampant #fire and ice #exile #the cruel prince #aftg #song of the lioness #warrior cats #kotlc #tamora pierce #holly black

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hadeantaiga · 1 year

Text

@merry927

"Subsume" - include or absorb

Note: I will be focused on American patriarchy here. This is American Upperclass Christian CisHet Abled White Patriarchy, because that's the kind of patriarchy that runs America. So when I say "patriarchy", that's the specific kind I am referring to.

Some of these concepts of course apply to other countries and cultures; but as I am not from those countries or cultures, I don't get to speak on their behalf or discuss how these concepts intersect with their brand of patriarchy.

-----

Do I think American patriarchy has "absorbed" racism, homophobia, and transphobia?

Transphobia and homophobia are direct results of sexism and misogyny, which are themselves products of the patriarchy. The patriarchy did not subsume these concepts, it invented them. The patriarchy exists to keep men in power, and to do that, it must oppress all those who are not American Upperclass Christian CisHet Abled and White.

Homosexuality is hated because it disrupts the "natural order" American patriarchy insists on: a heterosexual family unit of a man and a woman and their 2.5 children. You hear this all the time when republicans cry that the gays are "destroying the family". If women have babies without men, how will men stay in control!? If a man doesn't have a wife, how can he have children and stay in control!?

Transphobia is hated because it too disrupts the "natural order" of American patriarchy. There is so much that goes into this: the idea that trans people are castrating themselves first of all, which is "humiliating" for a man to do to himself, and "destroying her fertility" when a woman does it. Disrupting the patriarchy's goal of reproduction is one of its greatest fears, because having babies is a great way to control women. Then of course there's the fact that trans people fuck with gender and gender presentation and what we think of as "biological sex". Being trans is inherently disruptive to the patriarchy's status quo.

Racism (and xenophobia) was not invented by American patriarchy, but American patriarchy absolutely HAS incorporated racism into its framework from before America was even a country in order to keep White American Men in control. Black men are absolutely second-hand citizens in American patriarchy and do not have the same power or control as white men, period.

So no - I do not think American patriarchy has "absorbed" homophobia and transphobia - it invented them. I do think it has absorbed racism, but obviously I do not think racism was "invented" by the patriarchy. American patriarchy could not exist without racism, but I do not think that eliminating American patriarchy would eliminate racism.

-----

NOW - we need to have a brief discussion on the differences between racism and sexism. They are not a 1:1 analogy, especially since racism and sexism can intersex with one another. They are separate axes of oppression. As we are both white, I don't think either of us really gets to have a say on racism, nor should we be using it as a tool in this discussion.

-----

So let's return to sexism and discuss the words "oppress" vs "harm". Oppression is a form of harm in which a person is held back, held down, or made subservient to others.

A better analogy would be, if you were a straight woman, something like:

"I would expect I would be (rightly) sharply criticized for saying lesphobia oppressed me"

And I would say you're wrong. Straight women are regularly oppressed for being perceived as lesbians. Being chased out of jobs, chased out of bathrooms, sexually assaulted or raped, ostracized, sexualized - straight women are not immune to these forms of oppression just because they aren't lesbians. Bigots do not care about your actual identity, they only care about their perception of you. Being straight will not protect you if they want to hurt you.

Now let's bring men back into the picture. Men who are oppressed by the patriarchy.

I think Matthew Shepard was very oppressed by the patriarchy for being gay. You know, since he was murdered and all that.

To claim that gay men are not oppressed by the patriarchy is, to me, a sign of absolute ignorance. It takes purposeful effort, in my opinion, to not see the harm gay men have faced from the patriarchy. Every little boy who has been physically abused by his parents for holding a doll or wearing a dress, every boy beaten up by his peers at school for being effeminate, every gay man who's been refused employment or housing because he's gay, every victim of AIDS who was a man - every one of those men is a victim of the patriarchy, and has absolutely without question been oppressed by the patriarchy.

Honestly, to claim otherwise is in and of itself homophobic.

-----

As for what "the right" does - I assume you mean conservatives - I give zero shits what they do. I don't run my life based on what republicans will think of me.

-----

@merry927's reply from the comments:

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! MATTHEW SHEPHERD IS ALIVE! HE WAS NOT BRUTALLY BEATEN BY HOMOPHOBIC PIGS AND LEFT TO DIE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!

Great news to ALL men who have been victims of the patriarchy! Merry927 has decided YOU AREN'T ACTUALLY OPPRESSED!! Go enjoy that male privilege!!

#sexism #misogyny #feminism #intersectional feminism #homophobia #transphobia

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t-4-t-4-t-4-t · 2 years

Text

Cherries at Bathtime

Music is playing, and we're giggling and chatting as we put away some dishes from dessert. Ice cream sundaes – a monthly treat where we lay out a smorgasbord of silly toppings and channel our inner children. We never hold back at the store; cookies, gummy bears, caramel syrup, we buy it all without hesitation.

I always love watching you prepare yours. Your eyes light up as you smack your lips and methodically create such a silly concoction. The irony of you trying to logically place ten gummy worms in a chaotic sugary mountain is heartwarming and entertaining.

Earlier, before clean up, I watched you lick remnants of vanilla ice cream off the three cherries you always leave for the end. You take each one between your fingers and swirl it around the bottom of the bowl, gathering up all the sweetness you can before placing it in your mouth to suck on.

You do this because you know I like it. We've never said as much aloud, but there's an understanding and a fun, flirty, non-verbal communication that goes with it. You ask me thoughtful questions right before putting a cherry to your lips. You smile coyly as I try to answer, but am inevitably distracted by your gorgeous mouth. It's a game we've come to play every month on Sundae Sundays.

I wipe down the table, completing my last task. You're still at the sink washing a few things. I throw the wash rag over my shoulder and watch you from behind; how can someone look so good doing anything?

"Oh shit," you laugh, "I totally got syrup on this shirt. Everytime..."

You start to dab the syrup stain with water from the sink when you feel my arms snake around you and my head nestle into your neck.

"Did Daddy's little girl make a mess?" I say playfully in your ear. You freeze instantly, and I feel your body shift. The bait and switch. Your shoulders relax, you slump down just a bit and make yourself feel little.

"Just a little one, Daddy" you say back through a breathy smile.

I turn you around to face me, gently, with one hand on your hips. My other hand reaches behind you, and I dip my finger into the small bowl of chocolate syrup that hadn't made its way to the sink yet. I take the smallest dab of syrup, press it to your neck, and then immediately use my mouth to suck it off, applying gentle pressure with my teeth.

I reach back for more, but this time, I place my syrupy finger into your mouth. As I tease your tongue, I say "I think someone needs a bath tonight, hm?" You let out a tiny moan and nod eagerly.

"Go draw a bath and get comfortable," I say as I tuck your hair behind your ears, "I'll be in soon to take care of you." You giggle and rush toward the bathroom. Like the good girl you are, you stop in your tracks, turn around, and say "yes Daddy!" before continuing on your way.

I hear the pipes squeak and a rush of water on tile as I grab some things from our bedroom - a beautiful, heavy, double ended glass dildo, and a puffy white towel. Before heading to the bathroom, I grab a few cherries from the refrigerator and place them in a small, glass bowl. I open the bathroom door to see you, sitting on the edge of the tub, fully naked. You've done everything just the way we like it, because that's what you do - you're a good little girl who loves to please. You've lit some candles, dimmed the lights just right, and gathered some things to place them gently on a small towel on the ground.

On the towel, you've placed a dropper of lavender oil and a bar of soap scented like lemongrass and peony petals; I bend down and place the dildo alongside, and place the bowl of cherries on the edge of the tub.

I roll my sleeves up, looking you in the eyes. You're eager.

"Take a cherry," I demand. You oblige and ask "do you want me to eat it, Daddy?" I say no and bend down to your eye level..."put it in my mouth," I demand again.

I take the cherry in my mouth, and bite and suck, removing the pit and chucking it in the trash. "Now you too," I say handing you a cherry. You do the same, making your mouth red with cherry juice. I pull you by the back of your head into me and we begin to kiss deeply and messily. I take my hand and spread some of the cherry juice remnants from our mouths onto your chest.

"Now, you're definitely ready for bath time. Get in," I whisper. I go to the sink and gently wash the redness off of my face. When I turn around, you're lying in the tub, and you're perfect. Your soft skin kissed by the water, your thick thighs pressing against the sides of the tub, your hopeful expression – wide eyed, ready, feeling little, feeling safe. I feel a tingle up my arms, ready to use them to care for you.

"Daddy, I'm all messy," you say playfully to coax me over to you. It works.

I walk over and grab the lavender oil, dropping two drops into the water. "Let's clean you up, baby girl," I say as the calming fragrance fills the air. I watch you drink it all in as you relax and sink even further into the water.

I start by dipping my hand into the hot water and using my thumb to clean the cherry red sweetness from your face. You giggle. I giggle too as I continue tracing you gently with my fingers. I watch as steam rises from your skin – the lavender makes it feel like we're in a dewy field of flowers. You're simply divine and I don't feel like waiting to make you feel your divinity.

"Open your legs for me, sweetheart," I say. You immediately spread yourself open with a trembling "yes, Daddy." My hand submerged, I begin to tease your clit. The sounds of sloshing water and your little moans thread themselves through the steam. As I increase the intensity of my motions, I use my other hand to worship the rest of your body in the water. I dribble hot water onto your nipples, I cup your moistened face with my palm and trace your lips. We're willfully lost in a hot lavender haze together.

"I'm going to fuck you now, baby. You think you're ready?" I ask. Flustered, you immediately respond "yes please, Daddy! God, please!"

I grab the glass dildo with my free hand while I continue to draw circles around your clit. I place it in the water to warm up. After a few moments, I take the wider end – the one you like – and slowly glide it inside of you under the water. You gasp and arch your back. I can't help but think about the relationship of all things submerged at this moment. The dildo submerged in you, you in the water, and me, absolutely submerged in your energy.

"You need to cum so Daddy can clean you up and put you to bed," I say as you grind your hips towards my hand. You love when I give you a gentle sense of urgency; a small goal you can accomplish to feel like a good little for me.

I greet your grinding hips and fuck you just a bit deeper with the dildo. Your hands spring up and grip the sides of the tub. You begin to lose control and are moaning barely comprehensible strings of "fuck me Daddy" and "oh my god Daddy" and "please."

As you cum, I grip your face once again and make sure you look me in the eyes. Your orgasm creates more waves and ripples in the bath. How lucky to be the water that hugs your entire body; if only I could hold you as close and as air tight as it can.

"Good girl," I whisper as I slide the dildo out of your cunt, give it a lick, and place it back on the towel. I grab the soap and begin to lather it in the water while you're still basking in fresh, post-orgasm bliss. The smell of lemongrass and peony enters, adding a new freshness to the room.

I continue to lather you up and gently stroke your skin with soapy water as you come to. We don't exchange words at this point of bath times usually. I just let you keep your eyes closed and take in the feeling of being cared for.

I drain the water and you open your eyes with a big smile, "I fucking love bath time with you, Daddy," you say. I laugh, and I tell you that I know as I help you stand up and drape a clean, fluffy towel around you.

#nb nsft #adultonly #ddlg18 #queer nsft #lgbt nsft #food kink #queer ns/fw

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rjcollinsauthor · 2 years

Text

Chapter 8

Classes, dining hall, and home were my new schedule since that night with Noah. I've probably called myself every name in the book, which sent a wave of depression through me, causing me to stay in bed, eat my weight in snacks and watch reality tv. I'm caught up in another episode of Love Island when I hear a knock on my door.

"Who is it?" I asked around a mouth full of Cheetos.

"Henry." a deep voice said.

I shivered. It now hits me that I haven't been updating him on my progress in a week.

"One second, I'm just getting out of the shower."

I closed my laptop and jumped off my bed. I do the quickest clean-up humanly possible. And by clean up, I mean stuffing everything under my bed and covering it with my comforter. I used a rag to wash my face, spa some water on my body and changed my clothes from pajamas to jeans and a tv shirt. I took my bonnet off and freed my curls. When I looked decent, I walked over and opened the door.

Henry is standing there and looks as powerful as ever. Dark brown skin, almost black eyes, shaved head, and tattoos all over both arms.

"Henry! Why didn't you call?'

He walked in without an invitation, and I closed the door. I watched as he looked around the room,

"I did. Several times, in fact. Why haven't you answered? I had to get someone else to check in on you to make sure you were alive.".

"You have someone spying on me?" I asked in horror.

He waved it off like it was no big deal that someone was watching me without me knowing. He took a seat on my bed, and I cringed as we both heard the loud sound of one of the chips bags I forgot to stuff. He pulled it out and looked at it, then at me.

"Lena, do you need to be pulled out? Because we could always have someone else do this."

I shook my head. "No, I'm finishing this to the end."

"Then what's going on? This isn't like you. You haven't checked in with me, and you know your initiation is coming up?"

"Yeah, I know."

I've gotten dozens of reminders programmed on my phone.

"This was too much for you, wasn't it?"

"No!"

"Look at you, Lena; you have bags under your eyes, and I can smell whatever food you have under your bed."

"I'm not giving up. This is just a rough patch. It won't happen again, I promise. I'm doing this for us. Your sister and I. What they did to her...." I shook my head, not even daring to finish it.

Henry stood up with grief written all over his face. He walked over and pulled me into his arms, and I hugged him back. It took everything in me not to cry into his chest. Although he wasn't my real father, he was everything I needed and more.

"I love you, kid."

"I love you too." I let him go. "I need a favor before you go."

****

After that visit from Henry, I kicked myself into gear. I was wearing a white floral dress and braiding one side of my hair when someone knocked on the door. I opened it and found Jessica in a strapless white dress that goes to her ankles.

"Hey," I said and returned to the mirror to finish my hair.

"Hey?" she said, and I heard the door close. "After you literally saved my family, all you can say is 'hey'?"

I looked over, confused. "Would a 'hi' be better?"She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"You should be making me thank you on my knees."

"Not necessary, but you can pay me back by letting me go because I have serious issues with intimacy."

"Right," she said and let me go. I felt her taking in my outfit. "What are you getting dressed for?"

"The same thing as you."

"It can't be the same as me."

"It is. I'm officially going to be a new member of the Blue Rose."

"Bullshit."

"Bulltruth."

I finished my hair and applied some makeup as Jessica stared at me with her mouth wide open.

"You can't."

"But I am."

"If they find out-"

I cut her off. "I'm joining as Lena Warren. No one knows who I was other than you and the boys."

"They'll tell on you."

"Nope, because that would mean explaining to the High Court how the poor foster girl was able to get over on them multiple times. Especially since they are supposed to be these future badass leaders."

"What about Noah then? You haven't done anything to him."

"Haven't I?"

She raised an eyebrow, and I didn't explain as she followed me out of the dorms and towards the football field. We took seats on the bench and watched the scene unfold. Noah was on the field with the rest of his teammates as his coach was shouting at him, and as if he could feel me there, he looked up at me. It wasn't anger I saw, not even sadness, more like he was tired. He walked off the field, never sparing a glance back at me.

"What did you do?" Jessica asked.

I was still looking numbly at the field. This should feel good. I should be jumping with joy, and yet I just felt numb. I should have never slept with him. It's messing me up.

"All the players had to take drug tests this year because of the steroid epidemic from last year. Turns out he's been pumping steroids all this time. His results have come back. Guess he's kicked off the team. His teammates will definitely be pissed because they have no chance to win any game this year without him."

"You scare me and turn me on."

I laughed. But I understood the feeling. It was the same one I had for Noah.

"You know I only paid your dues, so you wouldn't be indebted to them, right?"

"Yeah."

"That means this is your chance. Don't show up tonight. Make yourself the last Ross there."

"But my mom-"

I waved her off. "Already taken care of. She'll be getting even better treatment, but this time with only the string of leaving Blue Rose forever."

She gave me a quick hug.

"But what about you? You can't do this alone."

"Yes, I can."

"Well, I don't want you to. Let me join. I'll help you on the inside. We can work together. It shouldn't all fall on you. Please, Lena. I know you said no strings attached, but I will go the rest of my life feeling like I owe you."

I sighed and looked over at her. "If you screw me over-"

She shook her head. "I won't, I swear."

"If you screw me over, Jess. It won't be like last time. I'll ruin you. I promise you that."

I heard and saw her visible gulp, and she nodded her head in fast motions.

"I'll do whatever you want."

I nodded. I was unsure about bringing her in but having her there would take some of the edges off. We watched the rest of the game to pass the time until tonight. And when the game was over, we got in my car and headed to the edge of town where the Blue Rose society was being held.

Tonight's event was held at a hotel that was fully booked out for only members of the Blue Rose. We got to the hotel, both got out of the car, and I handed my keys to the valet.

"You ready for this?" Jessica asked.

"Hell yeah."

#romance #writers on tumblr #writing #fiction #dark academism #dark romance #bookaddict #booklover #dark stories #romance books #books on tumblr #bookboost #booknerd #bookstagram #dark aesthetic

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