#this is the first thing that came thru my mind and im going for it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tia-222 · 2 months

Note

The void is The quantum field?

I found out about the void back in november 2023 on pinterest, and I joined tumblr because of it. Last night, I came across a tiktok video with the title "how to know if you're in the quantum field in your joe dispenza meditation". The girl in the video basically said things like: -Being disconnected from your 3D reality, how disconnected you are from the 3d from the meditation. -in order to create from the quantum, you can't be in space time, you have to be in time space. -You can't be trying to create from 3D, you have to be creating from "NOTHINGNESS" -going to your inner world Link to the tt video: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSF1nWtBc/ That's what she said. It hits me when she mentioned the word "nothingness" because the void is basically also the nothingness. The void is being everything and NOTHING at the same time. And I thought does that mean the quantum field and the void are the same thing? so if we do joe dispenza quantum field meditation we can get into the void? So you can simply go into the void/quantum field thru his meditation? I'm not promoting doctor joe dispenza or anything i wouldn't call myself an expert im just someone in the void community. I just thought this could help you guys! Anyway I found some of his quantum meditation on yt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwHLLVvPAng&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PWmCQMKwEw&t=27s&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_Jz7iy7wN0&t=600s&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D I'd recommend doing the first one which is 1h 30mins bc idk it seems better. It may be long but do it for your desire life. Note: English is not my first language, I have never posted sth like this before idk if my explanations is understandable. I just want to share this everyone in the community.! @voidprincessblog pls help share this to everyone 😭😭😭

Hii love!! omg tysm for this <33.

Yess, the void has many different names to it and the " Quantum Field " is one of them. I've read becoming supernatural by Dr Joe dispenza and it's phenomenal. Many people have entered the Void State/ Quantum Field. I'm gonna talk about this right now and link some stuff from the book that y'all can read from.

What does Dr Joe dispenza say about the " QUANTUM FIELD " ?

" As you enter this endless, vast space as an awareness, there are no bodies, no people, no objects, no places, and no time. Instead, infinite unknown possibilities exist as energy. So if you find yourself thinking about knowns in your life, you are back in the three-dimensional reality of space and time. But if you can stay in the blackness of the unknown for long enough, it will prepare you to create unknowns in your life. "

Success story of how someone got healed Instantly :

" After they unfolded into the quantum field, I then asked them to dimensionalize a scene from their Mind Movie. When the meditation was finished, I instructed them to lie down on the floor—but as Sarah told me later, she couldn’t find the floor. She kept reaching lower and lower, searching for it, but it was no longer there. The next thing she knew, she was in another dimension having a full-on IMAX-like sensory experience—but without her senses. She was living a future scene of her Mind Movie. Enough circuits in her brain had turned on to make her internal experience as real as any external experience she had ever had. She was not visualizing this scene—she was in it, living it.

“I realized I was in another reality, a different time and space—I was in my future,” she explained. “And I was actually performing aerial yoga. I was hanging upside down and the floor wasn’t there. I kept reaching for it, but I was just swinging upside down from this beautiful red silk scarf. I felt freedom from my pain. I was swinging freely in space.” Eventually she did lie down, with tears of joy flowing down her cheeks. When she came out of that meditation, all of her pain was gone.

“I knew I was healed,” she said. “I was in awe of the power of my mind and I felt tremendous gratitude. I continue to manifest things from my Mind Movie—in fact, my Mind Movie can’t even keep up with my life.”

Also, there was an anon from an deactivated blog which spoke about entering the void by using Dr Joe dispenza way. I'm gonna copy and paste it here, and link it too 🖤.

" i have a fabulous book by dr.joe dispenza (how to become supernatural). he talks of the void state or the zero state and how you’re open to all possibilities and timelines. in it, he directed to first become aware of your body, the space you take between the folds of your skin, the space you take in your room, your home, your neighborhood, and the world. now- you must forget all of this and focus only on the black behind your eyelids. you must become no one, no thing, no body, no time in space. you must forget of your accomplishments, your worries, relationships- anything that makes YOU, you. literally on the first “try” of doing what he said i got into the void. it’s so easy i understand how stressful and confusing the void can be but just try to let go of all of that and focus on being nothing. imagine a beam of light going through the black space where your affs travel. stay focused and try not to dwell on the 3D. do not pay attention to the time or if you’re itchy- whatever. just having a clear mind helped me so much. ofc, this is not required but it does help!! " Original link

574 notes · View notes

mickyschumacher · 7 months

Note

NGL I LOVE UR WORK... ive been hopping thru ur m.list since the last hour.... its currently 1 am and i have an essay to finish before 8 am(im sure my prof will give me more time ik dey love me) anywasy i was wondering if u could do an enemies to lovers with Lewis((like really hated eachother)the reader could be a driver its oky don mind what she does) and then they were arguing abt sumting lewis says something thats completely out of the line and she starts crying in front him then he just kinda leaves her be, a few days later he would go on then apologize to her abt wat he said and then more fluff. (just ignore this if ur not into it or not takin a request at the moment. but im actually just hapi i kind of got the courage to ask u for a request also ur stories are soooo good i admire and envy u at the same time.)

𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐌𝐄 .ೃ࿐

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: as lewis's former teammate, there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. but a bad move from lewis puts him completely out of line.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: enemies to lovers trope!, poor humour, some fluff, in depth moment of an alternated 2021 wdc (apologies in advance), therefore ANGST, bad race jargon, horner and masi discussed :(, mention of intermittent explosive disorder, misogyny, allusion to racism (not from the reader ofc!), shitting on the fia for a bit, lewis kinda being a dick for probably an unfair reason lol, a proclamation of feelings from sir lewis himself

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: lewis hamilton x red bull!driver!fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3k+

𝐀/𝐍: you're too sweet to me! 🤧 i couldn't tell if you wanted this to be romantic but i went that way in the end! hope this was good! ♡︎ very very loosely based of swift's 'right where you left me'. but if you argued it wasn't, i would be inclined to agree. proof-read...ish?

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

⋆ •°. 。 .°• ⋆

No one ever truly understood your move to Red Bull. It was in 2019, far from when Max was practically living on pole, so Red Bull wasn't exactly a threat to Mercedes, your previous team. Toto had even put a three-year extension on the table several months before your contract came close to expiring.

Yet you had chosen to sign with the devil.

When the commentators, journalists, and fans took a closer look at your decision, the only thing they could all collectively agree on was that you had moved to Red Bull because of Lewis Hamilton. Because you both couldn't keep your differences aside and Lewis had finally struck your last nerve.

While you weren't quite sure about the last part, the first was true. You had Lewis had never ever exactly met eye-to-eye. Every F1 driver had a specific style of driving. You liked to call Lewis' the 'calm before the storm'. He raced with a composure and maturity that most drivers did not hold. He was particularly calculative and the everyone loved him.

You, on the other hand, had given yourself a new nickname along side 'Flash 13' because you did everything in a flash: you overtook ruthlessly and calculated, you pushed the car till it was undrivable, and you were decisive to the very nanosecond. But you had also garnered yourself the name 'IED', after the behavioural disorder.

In part this nickname was due to the misogyny you faced as the only current female driver in F1 but also due to the sheer anger that bursted out of you whenever you encountered Lewis.

The amount of warnings Toto had given the both of you was simply endless. He had even resorted to putting you two with the team therapist.

The source of your hatred for each other was as clear as day. You hated Lewis' arrogance because somehow it was even worse than Rosberg, Alonso, Räikkönen, and Verstappen. And Lewis hated you for your 'perspective'. You didn't know what he initially meant by that but you regretted asking him. He said you needed to be stronger to be in F1 and that you were far too soft-hearted. Right after you had gotten your first ever pole.

It was ridiculous, to say the least.

No F1 driver was soft-hearted. You were all, simply put, a bunch of dicks. Not literally, of course. Naturally, following that comment, Lewis had pissed you off. He hadn't even had a second to know you before even making that judgement. It was ironic as well, considering your nickname that labelled your anger.

After watching Lewis win several championship titles with you following multiple places behind and seeing you only get angrier with each other, you had decided to call it quits for Mercedes. If people were going to take your annoyance and frustrations with amusement, you were going to head to the angriest team of all and leave your former team fuming.

Two years later, in 2021, you had finally gotten the perfect opportunity.

You hadn't really a clue how exactly Red Bull had made the 2021 car so well that you were matching the speed of Mercedes' car but you didn't care. You were matching Lewis. And Christian Horner was a happy man. A sexist prick but a happy man nonetheless.

Pole was either Lewis' or yours. Either he was a Grand Prix winner or you were. It was a game of cat and mouse, always in a constant pursuit of each other. The same went from your team leaders, Toto and Christian, who practically had the race director, Masi, on speed dial.

And by Abu Dhabi, you were equally tied, locked at 369.5 points. It hadn't been easy after getting penalised for multiple incidents against Lewis, but you were here. Lewis was trying to get his eighth championship and you your first.

You weren't sure how this was going to end. Heck, no one could've predicted what happened that day. But all you knew was that you were not going down without a fight.

You secured pole in Abu Dhabi which had put the entirety of Mercedes and F1 on edge. After a discussion with your engineer and several strategists, you had opted for soft tyres to further your advantage over Lewis.

Despite all of that, it was Lewis who had led the first corner after those red lights had gone out. It was only by turn six did you even get a lead. But it was a moment too short as your former teammate regained his top position by going off into the damn run-off area of the track.

You didn't need to scream in annoyance. You couldn't hear Horner, but deep down you knew he had already called up Masi, demanding an investigation. Your engineer reported to you that the stewards had dismissed it. The gap between you and Lewis was getting bigger, the race was coming to and end, and you knew you needed a miracle towards the end of the race if you wanted to win.

And that miracle was called Nicholas Latifi. The poor guy had crashed into Mick and the safety car was out on the tracks. Thankfully, they were both okay, but the timing of it was simply impeccable.

You had pitted to get new soft tyres and Mercedes was on the fence about heading to the pit lane in fear of the race restarting. So Lewis didn't pit. Miracle 2.

You re-joined the track with five lapped cars in between you and Lewis. And soon enough, Race Control had given the dooming message: lapped cars were not allowed to overtake.

The taste in your mouth was bitter. You had cussed out Horner, asking why you were even seeing these lapped cars in front of you.

Then came Race Control again: only the five cars in between you and Lewis were allowed to overtake. Miracle 3.

But of course, F1 had a flair for the dramatics. Because you were fucking restarting. Putting you and Lewis on a tight show-down for the final lap.

The bad news? Lewis hadn't pitted yet.

The good news? You could overtake Lewis. Miracle 4.

And the headline? You won.

You fucking won.

You were F1's first female champion in history.

You made history... or, well, herstory?

Yes it was controversial. Yes it was dramatic. Yes, questionable decisions had been made.

But you won.

By the time you had gotten out of your car and finished with screaming and crying in pure happiness, you had finally caught a glimpse of Lewis.

A small part of you felt bad. You knew for a fact, that these decisions weren't 'human error' as the FIA would go on to claim the following year in Bahrain.

It was entertainment. It was business. It was money.

You had both worked so hard this year. But the fight between an F1 driver breaking the record for the most championship titles and the first possible female champion in F1 was too good to resist.

Things between you and Lewis after Abu Dhabi hadn't gotten worse. You just talked far less than you normally did. You barely argued with each other anymore. It was disconcerting to say the least. Especially now that you were struggling to match Max's pace, always coming second or third as per the instructions of your engineer. For a moment you thought, what was the point of winning if you weren't going to win again?

━━━━━━━━━━━

You were still determined. Beating your own teammate would be hard. But you weren't a stranger to the idea. You had spent years trying to beat Lewis while purposely being the support for him to win. They were two actions they didn't go together but it had happened.

That being said, the venture was proving to be more difficult than you anticipated. In fact, it had caused a full collision with Lewis in the first lap of the Qatar Grand Prix.

You were so focused on beating Max you hadn't taken a second to look around you.

"What the fuck was that?" Lewis' voice invaded the air as he barged into your driver's room, ridden with sweat and still in his racing gear.

"Look, I'm sorry okay. I didn't see you. It was my fault. End of story," You told him curtly, not really wanting talk to Lewis any further.

"Damn right, you didn't see me. You could've taken me or anyone out! Are you so fucking stuck up your ass that you couldn't see me?" Lewis asked incredulously.

You scoffed at his accusation. It was true. But you didn't like when the truth fell from his lips... especially not when they sounded like that.

"Lewis, drop it. No one got hurt. Let's just move on okay?" You queried, annoyance dripping from your voice.

"Why? Can't handle the truth, L/N?" He laughed gently, almost mocking you. "Right... you were always like that."

You snapped your head towards him, raising a sharp brow. "Excuse me?" You spat as if to say he was becoming dangerously close to crossing a line he did not want to cross.

Lewis folded his arms, shrugging nonchalantly. "What? You don't like the truth. It's simple. I told you that you need to be stronger because you're too soft-hearted. And you hated that. And now that I'm telling you that you're selfish, you obviously can't handle it."

"Oh my God, you are one to talk. Lewis, you are so blinded by your arrogance that you can't see anyone else win. That's why you can't accept that I won right?"

"Not Abu Dhabi, aga–"

"Yes, Lewis, Abu Dhabi again. You are so fucking sour about losing that even when the hate targeted me, you let it. You let them say that my win was due to race and gender. Me, Lewis, out of all people, me."

No matter your differences, you had stuck up for Lewis on many accounts when it came to the FIA, 'fans', and haters. But he wasn't there for you.

You could see dark expression fall onto Lewis' face. "That's not true, Y/N."

"Then what was it Lewis?" You flailed your hands in exasperation. "Because you sure as hell didn't come to my aid."

"Because you didn't deserve it!"

You blinked blankly, arms falling to your side. Your mind took a minute to process the words that had fallen from his lips in mere seconds.

Lewis' face dropped as realisation struck him. What the fuck did he just say? "Y/N, I–"

"Get out," You grumbled.

Lewis did a double-take on the fresh line of tears accumulating on your waterline. He took a step closer to you, hands reaching out. "No, no, no, Y/N, I–" But your words made him stop.

"Lewis, get the fuck out of here before I start screaming like the bitch everyone thinks I am."

You watched Lewis return his hands to the side, clenching his jaw tightly as he made way to the door of your room. He stopped briefly, hesitating to open the door, taking one last glance at you before leaving.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Four days.

You had pondered in deep thought for four days. And after 72 hours, one thing had become obvious to you.

Lewis wasn't with you or any of the other drivers. He was still in 2021, right where you had left him. Not a second had gone by for Lewis where he hadn't thought about Abu Dhabi.

What if he had just pushed for Bono and Toto to get him in that pit lane?

What if he had veered the car a little to the side and you didn't overtake him?

Lewis was still reliving the worst moment of his career and his life and everyone had moved on. Sure, every fan and commentator talked about it time to time. But it was something of the past.

To say you didn't deserve your championship title... you had heard it from several 'fans' and insignificant others. But to hear it from Lewis? It fucking killed you.

You cared about his opinion more than anyone in the world. And he knew that.

You would've never said anything as shitty as that to him or anyone for that matter.

You had worked your ass off to get to F1. Fuck, you had won F2 two fucking times because no one was willing to let a girl on their team... into a man's sport. Every driver worked hard to a certain degree. But you were a girl who didn't grow up with the means of driving yourself to your death every day. If everyone worked hard, you had worked ten times harder.

Everyone knew that you and Lewis had fought. And by the looks of it, they also knew it was far worse than your normal fights. You wouldn't look at him, you refused to speak to him, you spent minimal time in the same room, you had even paid your media fines in full to avoid everyone...

Max had even become some sort of bodyguard, telling Lewis to turn back around when he neared the Red Bull garage.

All of this protection, and yet, he had still found you in your favourite place. The one you both came to when you needed to become level-headed. The top stand of any empty Grand Prix, in this case the México Grand Prix, where the air felt a little bit cooler against your heated skin and you could think for even it was for just a second.

You sucked in a sharp breath, seeing Lewis in your periphery while you were firmly seated. He looked nervous, chewing on his bottom lip and taking cautious glances at you.

"Hey," Lewis greeted, making you raise a brow at his lame entrance.

You forced yourself to look at the rest of the empty seats in front of you. "Hey," You mumbled back, trying to swallow the bitter taste in your mouth.

An unsettling silence enveloped the both of you. You were sure Lewis was here to apologise. But you could also tell he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Not in a selfish way. But in the most guiltiest way possible.

You sighed. "How are you?" You asked gently, peeking out of the corner of your eye.

Lewis winced at your question. Leave it up to you to still be this kind after what he had said to you. "Sorry. I'm so so sorry," He rasped, voice raw with the pain that had been gnawing away at him ever since those god forbidden words had left his mouth.

You nodded slowly, taking another deep breath. "I know you're going to call me soft-hearted but what you said really fucking hurt, Lew," You jested with a brief smile.

Lewis grimaced at your poor humour, before his ears perked up at the old nickname you had given him when you first started getting on each other's nerves. "I know. I'm an idiot for saying something like that. Or that you're soft-hearted. You've worked so hard for all of this. You absolutely deserve everything and that win was only the first of many, I'm a hundred percent sure of it. Your Dutch shortie doesn't really know what's coming."

You gave him a tight-lipped smile after huffing in amusement at his diss towards Max. "Thank you," you told him earnestly. "Although, I am quite positive he is like almost ten centimetres taller than you. But, thanks anyways."

Lewis rolled his eyes. "Have you seen me? You don't think I give off tall energy?"

"You mean tall in insults?" You joked, grinning at the blank look on Lewis' face.

Lewis sighed. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean any of it. And by 'it', I mean all of the insults and fights. I was just disappointed in myself. Even more so that I didn't stand up for you. I'm so sorry."

You drew your eyebrows together, turning your body to face him. Confusion filled you. "Then why did you say it at all?"

"I–" Lewis blew out a small laugh. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Lewis, can you not see me dying here? Like a whole kitchen set of knives in my back?" You deadpanned.

Lewis rolled his eyes again. So dramatic.

He brought his hands together, staring at you briefly before looking at the empty stand. "Well, obviously, I heard of you before you joined Mercedes. I thought it was ridiculous that you had to get two F2 championships to get a seat, but anyways, I digress. Toto told me, he was considering you even though you had never been in the junior team.

And I remember just being so fucking jealous of you. Toto was consumed by you. He and Horner had been fighting for your seat for so long and now that they finally had an open seat, it was chaos. Toto won, obviously. And then we met each other in person for the first time and I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world."

You felt your heart begin to race and your skin heat at the sudden proclamation. "You... you what?"

Lewis smoothly glossed over the compliment. "And then we had our first quali together and you beat me. You got pole on your first race. So you were talented and beautiful. A crime, might I add.

And so when you came to tell me, you were so excited with all your talent and beauty, I was pissed. Because out of all things in the world, I had gotten an amazing competitor I was bound to feel for. I thought that by saying you were soft-hearted and all, it would get on your bad side and it would make me less attracted to you. It didn't. It got worse while it got easier to pretend to hate you."

You blinked blankly at him, cheeks aflame. Lewis Hamilton liked you. Your stupid teammate? The same one who's eighth championship you arguably took? "I'm sorry... hold up, we've been fighting for years because I'm a hot, talented, gifted, smart driver and you're a simp?"

Lewis squinted his brown eyes at you. "I did not include all those adjectives."

"I mean... that's basically what you said," You shrugged, flickering your eyes to the setting sun.

Where did all the damn cool air go? You wondered, pressing your hands to your flushed cheeks and feeling your soft palm absorb the molten lava known as your skin.

Lewis chuckled, picking up your flustered reaction quickly. He watched as you suddenly stood up. "Okay, well I'm... I'm going to meet Hugh and find a way to beat Max. See ya!"

Lewis paused, grabbing your wrist. "Wait? What? You aren't going comment about what I just said?"

You eyed his hold on your wrist: it was searing you. You turned to him, lowering your head to meet his gaze. You briefly looked down at his lips before looking back up. "I think I prefer hating you."

Lewis felt you press your lips on his cheek before walking past him. He watched your retreating figure, your kiss feeling heavy on his face, putting him right where you had left him: absolutely and utterly smitten.

#mickyschumacher #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #formula 1 #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic

558 notes · View notes

kickbutts-singsongs · 2 months

Text

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

#this may just be me screaming into the void #but at least it’s out there #bnha #mha #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bakudeku #bkdk #my bkdk journey #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #my thoughts #and also I’m going to admit without admitting that I might or might not have made some ocs a mere two months after I started bnha…#and the two leads were very much bkdk coded 💀#I was going to make a next gen au and so over the course of two years I carefully crafted 20 students (names personalities and quirks)#and I had some cool villains #honestly some of my quirk ideas were awesome #maybe one day I’ll post some of them… we’ll see #but if anyone asks if I ever made any ocs NO I DIDNT

109 notes · View notes

kuradex · 2 months

Note

I wanna know about your art style. How you draw like that??

i tried putting down considerations as well as a (very) general step by step of what i do; if there's anything more specific you want me to explain lmk i guess?

first off, general (self imposed) constraints / purpose of project -- this informs what i draw & how i draw it

i.e. "kuradex" is pretty different from my normal art (my 5 latest rough illustrations):

or my monster hunter charms:

or my pokemon tcg contest illustrations that im not allowed to show until june (😉):

although i've said its for merch purposes, ive started drawing these because i wanted to practice conveying "liveliness" and noticing key features / nuances of a given design, but i didn't want to spend a large amount of time on each one.

so what i came up with is

i want to draw things on-model in terms of proportions ( + take note of weight / tapering of shapes / etc )

no backgrounds & minimal "props"

experiment with / practice line/texture/color/flow/rhythm/etc

spend <1 hr on each pokemon on average (this is a bit more difficult for me to track, but for example, the cyndaquil line took me less than 42min to color, combined, and means at some point in time instead of focusing on cleaning up the art as much as i can, i stop after cleaning up most of it)

that said, the pose & the rhythm/flow of lines are key in conveying liveliness, and if i have a concept in mind i usually end up going with it, but i may go thru a few if i dont.

i consider pokemon origin / lore or a key point in its design, and if i'm particularly stuck, i try looking up pokemon card illustrations for inspiration. (i noticed the research i do is essentially a truncated version of how Atsushi Furusawa does research before doing an illustration.

(& even despite all this i do get stuck sometimes and don't exactly understand a pokemon and just opt for "as cute or cool as i can make it i guess?", but i think it's part of the process...?) (theoretically things that are A Shape should be really easy to draw but with what i want to practice in perspective i find them difficult...)

this is from my latest paid req but these are my first sketches of chesnaught -- i was thinking of how one of its inspirations is a warrior / tanker from RPGs, so i drew a pose where it's shielding its face.

i do another pass and take note of details.

in general i draw overlapping shapes and erase (it's a bit visible on one of the spikes)

because i opt for quickness i start coloring at this point -- i actually just use a colored "color burn" layer & i actually colorpick official art & lay down messy flats & set the color layer to 60%

60% multiply layer for shadows. i tend to use both hard and soft brushes

for bigger projects i would use 2-3 shadow layers to create more "layered" shadows

here i use overlay layer (60%). this is just throwing colors at it and seeing what works and doesn't work. i personally prefer to throw red under the eye and a yellow or blue near the top of the head. this is mostly done with a soft brush

before this point, everything is under the rough lines, but now i actually start drawing/painting over it, color picking the colors that have been laid down from the previous steps and cleaning up / rendering textures (making the green on its arms look fuzzy) / fixing anything that i forgot or looks too off (i.e. the spike on its shoulder and the way the tail curves)

I could potentially keep cleaning this up, but this is where i usually stop 🫡

#not art #barely a tutorial?

105 notes · View notes

totally-not-a-tickle-blog · 3 months

Note

hiii its the anon from yesterday who yapped abt alastor being softer to the other hazbins during/after the tickle war, and ive come to provide you with some lee AND ler al content :)

so, after briefly reading thru this blog, i can tell that everyone loves al being SO obvious when hes in a lee mood (me included tbf). so, on top of his shadow being a menace n' him being 10x more touchy/twitchy than usual when he wants to be tickled, id like to give him another tell (that i HOPE?? someone hasn't brought up yet???): his good ole ears/tail!!!

methinks that whenever he's in a lee mood, his ears pin down/to the side whenever someone approaches him, even if they arent planning on tickling him!! yk, a common sign of submission in animals. as for his tail, you couldn't rlly tell unless he had it uncovered, but it'd be face down and 'tucked between his legs', (not ACTUALLY/FULLY bc if he ever caught himself doing that he'd make himself stop immediately out of sheer embarrassment gfajafakags, but he does the closest thing to it)!!! both things he doesnt realize he's doing unless pointed out, and i imagine it as the final push a ler would need to wreck him. like.. imagine someone from the hotel who's been seeing al run around all day, just out the corner of their eye, but theyre able to pick up on him being more twitchy and clingy than usual. plus, his shadow acting up.. and then the pieces all slot into place once they approach him to ask abt it and they see his ears fold back :) they then continue to make those ears flap and that tail wag :)))

AND like i promised, some ler content, still concerning al's ears/tail bc not only am i obsessed with them, methinks they'd also be good tools for him to use as a ler!!! for the cherished moments where al uses direct physical touch instead of magic to tickle his lee, i think it'd be adorable if he brushed his ears/tail against their sensitive spots, especially if he often does so '''accidentally''' after learning about it :) these are the first two scenarios that came to mind that fit what im talking abt, but feel free to imagine your own/smthn different:

ler al and lee husk, with husk having a really sensitive chin/neck!! al keeps pulling him close, making husks attempts at pawing (ha) him off futile by al scrabbling at his ribs and stomach, which eventually leads to al leaning his head forward n' makin' his ears accidentally flap against husks neck/chin, which makes the poor kitty *squeal*. theres like that brief moment of 'oh no' from husk before al leans back in and purposefully wiggles his ears back and forth against husk until hes laughing so hard he cant breathe 🥺🥺🥺 al is teasing him the entire time, much to his chagrin

and, for the tail!! ler al and lee angel dust!!! ive always imagined angel with a sensitive stomach, so al would either have to be holding him down/or against something in this scenario, but just think abt how cute it'd be for the two to be play-fighting but then angel lets out a *yelp* whenever al's tail brushes along his stomach!! angel'd get his own 'oh no' moment where al's suddenly pinning him down, using his hands to tickle angels armpits and ribs while his tail absolutely wrecks his stomach. angel would be making witty comebacks to al's teasing if he had time to breathe :)))

okokok that should be all its past midnight here i need to sleep!!! anyways ajagsfaggaha ty for reading hope you liked ittt :)))))

Anon this isn't a food this isn't a meal YOU GAVE ME A FULL BANQUET!!! GOT ME STIMMING SM ALREADY IN THE BEGINNING

And the scenarios too omggg, I freaking LOVED the unintencional thing of the ears going down, animal features doing silly things when someone is in a lee mood or being tickled is my weak point (Alastor's tail totally wags when he's tickled tho I am SO SURE)

AND HUSK WITH A HYPER TICKLISH NECK TOO IS CHEF KISS!!

#tickling #tickle #tickle community #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #lee!alastor #ler!alastor

31 notes · View notes

sadie-bug345 · 19 days

Note

dallas and a reader who is unbelievably nice to everyone (maybe a bit shy too) basically the opposite of him

YESSS i love this. dally is actually my husband so this is just hypothetical ofc🤓🫶

i feel like he’d really like you cause you’re more like johnny

except even sweeter and not at all “hardened by the world”

you’re so empathetic when dallas does share his feelings with you (which is so rare im so sorry😭) but you perfectly describe the way he’s feeling and just like feel that with him and he’s like 🧍‍♀️ oh.

cause dallas’ whole thing is he cannot express his emotions well

hes super repressed so even when he does love johnny he can’t show it for the life of him

the way he experiences grief over johnny is through not experiencing it at all and just giving up

TANGENT BUT ANYWAYS

hes like “uhm what is this warm fuzzy feeling” whenever you hang out with him

cause your vibe is just so contagious

your smile is like the cutiest thing and he’s such a sucker for it

dallas doesn’t change for you

cause that’s also dallas’ thing is he refuses to change. sure he can “become tough to handle anything” or whatever but he’ll never change for the better. period

when he first gets arrested at 10 it’s givinggggg “the old dally can’t come to the phone rn…why? oh..cause he’s dead‼️😔🕊️🪦” LMAOO

i keep getting side tracked

WHICH is what happens whenever you and dally go on long drives or just have any convo

like you’ll start talking about your day and it’ll just morph into anything that comes into your mind and your eyes light up whenever you switch to a new topic like “oh! that reminds me…” it’s so cuteee

one thing that came to mind is like maybe one of your girlfriends is going thru a breakup or a hard time and you’re like “dal, we should bake some cookies for her and drop them off at her house” and he’s like “NUH UH NOPE🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️”

and you’re just like whatever and start doing it yourself

and then he pulls up to your house and he bought a sweet card for you to fill out and give to her along w the sweet treats cause WHO DONT LOVE A SWEET TREAT WHEN YOURE CRYING⁉️

anyways he didn’t really chip in other than that. he also stole a cookie which you pretended not to notice

he’ll drive you to her house and you ding dong ditch her house w the goodies and then he SPEEDS away cause he says “i can’t be seen being a wuss to some girl who got broken up with”

and then you say some super wise thing abt how the strongest of us stand with the weakest or smth and he’s just like

“sooo…wanna go to dairy queen?”

TYSM to the person who requested this! this was so much fun to write!! cause i looove me some dally x reader stuff and just matt dillon in general. OK BYE MY INBOX IS OPEN🥰👇

#dallas winston #dallas winston x reader #the outsiders #outsiders #matt dillon

43 notes · View notes

matoitech · 1 year

Photo

new guy alert!! i went in to design a different character who ive been trying to work out in my mind and came out w a guy with a mullet. as one does. character designing similar to what happened when i tried to design cas and came out with lucas instead and was like okay well lucas fucks and i must keep him so theyre just two seperate guys now and i STILL have the original guy to design. but anyway i like him and im glad i liked the first pass of a design enough to work w it so he may go thru some changes since originally this was just gonna be laying down color ideas for the other guy and he morphed in2 his own thing

#my art #ocs #furry #anthro #jaguar #he took the planned name of the other guy tho lol #love putting autistic on my oc refs like theyre not all autistic. well except the shitty ones they dont get to be #its safe to assume they r unless stated otherwise #not sfw text #cuz of the dumb fishing shirt lol. im unsure how to tag that but this is fine

115 notes · View notes

night-dark-woods · 4 days

Text

ok Exordia review time (not spoiler free!) since i finished it a few days ago. this is long and rambling and unedited.

4/5 i love Seth's writing and im glad they got to play with scifi again BUT i think they needed a better editor OR to split it more cleanly into sections- in one of the interviews they said it was originally a series of novellas each from a single POV, and i think the constraint of that would have made it a much tighter story.

one of the best things about their Destiny lore is how much they do with so little- thinking of this section from the Beyond Light CE:

Disaster at the worksite. Clearly we will not be moving Clarity Control like we did the K1 artifact. It reacted violently to the attempt. I have entered 19 casualties into the log, since 19 engineers from the Hannu team were caught in its reaction...though there were many more than 19 bodies when it was finished. I have sequestered the recordings. Especially the sensorium telemetry. Quite upsetting. Yet I do not believe it was an act of hostility. Even this outburst carried themes of duplication...as if Clarity Control wanted to show it could help me.

which i was originally thinking of as a first run at Blackbird, but i think these may have been simultaneous? i'm not actually sure. i know Exordia was started after the first Baru book was published, but i'm not sure how much lead time there is for the CEs.

or the clarity of Unveiling compared to a lot of what felt like similar ideas that took much longer to get thru in Exordia. primes. pink noise. math. alright lets fucking gooo oh wait. five more pages of ethics first. okay sure i'll do that for ya Seth bc i love your prose. which also. a) conway game of life mentioned!!! b) this part from Exordia made me LOSE MY MIND:

But that was impossible. The whole universe came from the same source: the same designers. I was part of one of them. If I could only remember... We were arguing, I think. Or maybe we were the argument, because gods cannot do things, they can only be them. We were in contest over the morality of infinities: the cardinality of all possible souls measured against the mere infinity of souls to ever be born...

(this is the part from Unveiling, for the optimistically two people who will read this who haven't read Destiny lore):

Once upon a time,* a gardener and a winnower lived** together in a garden.*** * It was once before a time, because time had not yet begun. ** We did not live. We existed as principles of ontological dynamics that emerged from mathematical structures, as bodiless and inevitable as the primes. *** It was the field of possibility that prefigured existence. They existed, because they had to exist. They had no antecedent and no constituents, and there is no instrument of causality by which they could be portioned into components and assigned to some schematic of their origin. If you followed the umbilical of history in search of some ultimate atavistic embryo that became them, you would end your journey marooned here in this garden.

at the same time, idk what i would remove- at very few points was i reading something that dragged, with the exception of spending a LOT of time with Erik and Clayton in the middle (this is when i put the book down for a month and a half or so). and i know so many people were like sickos.jpg about them However their dynamic did sooo little for me and i don't think Rosamaria was given enough time on the page (and i think having her Be the ship was weird- i recognize that Blackbird needs to have a voice to make the plot go, but i don't think this was the best or neatest way to do it, and collapsed a lot of what i found fundamentally so interesting about Blackbird into something akin to a standard scifi Ship AI).

again i think the restriction of each section of the story being from a single POV might have been the restriction needed to end up with a tighter story- at no point were the multiple plot threads & POVs confusing, per say, but i'm not sure what the structure did for the story bc we could switch to whoever could tell us the most about what was happening whenever convenient, instead of having to piece things together from a limited POV. i'm thinking again of the BLCE, this time the part where Clovis is talking about Maya Sundaresh behaving erratically- i'm no Ishtar group expert but i believe we are supposed to put together that these are all different iterations of her from within the garden). oh- i also wonder if Aixue and Chaya are another run at Maya and Chioma to some degree...

anyway. i also think i am also less the target audience for this book because seth loooves their trolley problems and i simply do not have the patience for it! i loved the hard scifi and the first contact aspects and the character work (Seth's character work is, as always, spectacular. their characters always feel deeply real and flawed in very human ways, while still being exaggerated in the ways characters have to be to function as plot fulcrums), but this isnt something like Baru where i can be like yes you should read this to everyone i talk to.

I think the language in the book is DELIGHTFUL, as always, especially how Seth plays with the idea of an alien translator that sometimes can get an English equivalent to something and sometimes can't! i think that's very fun. because it's on my mind bc ive been listening to the Shelved by Genre episodes on it, it makes me think of Book of the New Sun, and how the "translator" figure of G.W. talks about picking words that are close but they aren't being used like we would use them now- e.g. "metal" in BotNS isnt the same thing we think of as metal! its used more broadly! but its close enough in purpose and point to work just fine. the destriers have horns. i need to know if Seth has read these books.

but back to Exordia. here are some specific prose parts i fucking loved.

this part of the full-page loving, detailed, and technical description of 40 alien nukes detonating in atmosphere:

In the band of thickening atmosphere twenty-five to thirty-five kilometers above the Earth, these gamma rays slam into atoms of oxygen and nitrogen, stripping their orbiting electrons. The orphaned electrons hurtle away at 90 percent of lightspeed. They want to go in a straight line, but hold on now, it's not so easy to leave home. Earth's magnetic field bends their course. They begin to spiral down. When an electron moving near lightspeed has to turn, it emits synchrotron radiation. Poison light. And beneath each bomb there are 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 electrons swerving at once. The result is a blast of electromagnetic noise. No: not noise. A coherent pulse, spiking and faling in harmony. Shiva's own beat drop on electrical civilization. An EMP.

This part. i love Anna and wish we got more of her.

He gives her back her Glock. She accepts it with resignation. "You'd better get your men ready," she says. "It's going to be bad." "Women too," he says, trying for lightness. "The pilot's a woman. We've got a female forward surgeon, a psyops lead, a linguist- she's pretty badass, ran with SEALs in Afghanistan. And Lt. Gainer, she might have some advice for-" "For what?" Anna says calmly. "Advice for what, Erik? How to get killed in a feminine way?"

Seth has such a good and specific way of writing metaphors. a little bit Douglas Adams:

The upshot is: the air around the engine exhaust beam explodes outward with a sound like a tuning fork hit by a Space Shuttle launch. Lung-jellying power. Anything in the beam path suffers the short, severe influence of a needle faster and hotter than a vajra thunderbolt. Anything around the beam eats fireball.

& this part. again. i wish more of the book was Anna and Ssrin's fucked up kismessitude. or whatever.

She slides the barrel of the weapon into the uppermost crater on Ssrin's spine. Slick pain makes Ssrin hiss in psuvoluntary fury: psuvoluntary because it is reflex subject to veto- she could quash it, but the feeling is deliciously wrong, and it is so good to bare her fangs and to unleash that ancient khai instinct of pain-as-motivation. "Questionsss," Ssrin gasps. "I want to know how this story ends." Oh serendura. You'll wish you hadn't asked. You'll wish you'd gone in with your eyes shut and your tongue in your throat so you couldn't smell the poison til it was too late.

which also!!! that's something i love about the Ssrin POV like. Seth is always good at writing aliens and slipping in details that tell us about them. "tongue in your throat" to not smell the poison bc she is a snake alien and smells with her tongue!!! that rules!!!

#bookposting #exordia #this is sooo long sorry #before i reread this i am going to reread blindsight. bc i think a lot of it in in here.#also i cant believe i hadnt even finished exordia when i was writing the gunplay fic. that passage was sitting there waiting for me.#anyway.

11 notes · View notes

loving-n0t-heyting · 9 months

Note

Out of curiosity what do you dislike about Ada Palmers books

so tbc i made my way thru vol 1 of terra ignota and the first bit of vol 2 before quitting, so im working with a limited sample. but such is the case with dismissal! so here goes:

the prose is... bad. its very likely i should just develop a higher tolerance on this, ik im effectively gatekeeping myself from some very conceptually solid fiction over a relatively superficial skill detached from the stuff that really deeply matters, but the style on a sentence-to-sentence level is just very underwhelming, which is a particular problem when in universe its supposed to be elevated and uplifting (like the speech at renunciation day). i dont mind purple prose but it like marries imo the worst aspects of purple and bland, its a chore to get thru it

the pacing feels sort of mechanical and arbitrary,. every fifty pages, on the dot, theres another twist pulled from the Twist Bag! im told this im proves but its a) not enough to make up for the other deficits and ii) a common thing said when it takes a certain amount of time for ppl to inure themselves to an in fact persistent defect in a long work

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (But Your Kink Is OK)

i do not care about these characters. its hard for me to go into more detail bc i have little grip on what makes characters "work" for me in general but i just. dont care what happens to any of them (besides best not-girl eureka weeksbooth 🤤)

the worldbuilding. by far the biggest letdown. ppl will tell you—repeatedly, at length—that this is the great strength of the series. do not listen to them! they are misguided. ada palmer is really good—gifted, even—at the first step of worldbuilding, much moreso than most writers! shes top notch at coming up with a broad element of the society that makes you think "whoa, i want to know how that works!" and then... you never do. the depths are never plumbed. the depths are never even adequately hinted at. nor are the depths even conspicuously hidden from view! she just... tells you that there are a bunch of totally complicated details, trust me guys, look here i came up with some technobabble and some percentages like i totally promise theres stuff going on behind here! but there just, so aggravatingly obviously isnt! the technobabble does not even give the illusion of depth, the way (imo) it does in almost nowhere, it gives the appearance of earnestly trying to project such an illusion. tears me out of the immersion every time. its probably worth mentioning that i know from firsthand reports that she is into larp stuff irl, which is notorious for attracting ppl with a high tolerance for would be un-suspensors of disbelief. which, again, may be a virtue on their part! but if so its one i lack, at least here

i was talking to birdblog who suggested much of it might be that the work is very capital-L Liberal, and i am very not. which i think is kind of true, but less in that this is a drawback it possesses and more that its a virtue it lacks. theres lots of fiction i enjoy that is transparently committed to big philosophical/moral/political claims im vehemently opposed to! off the top of my head: any shakespeare that involves kings, any bernard shaw that involves Society, log horizon (at least s01, havent seen past it), nausicaa of the valley of the wind (the manga, the movie is sort of opaque philosophically), a bunch of outright propaganda films from wwii (american, british, russian, japanese), several kipling short stories...

but like, i think that a visceral sympathy for the earnestly felt message of a work of art does help one excuse other flaws, and i suspect a lot of my fundamentally Liberalism-oriented friends are able to enjoy the series bc the author shares that same basic vision. which is certainly like, an interesting one! but on its own its not enough to compel me past the artistic demerits by being either spiritually akin to encourage me or sufficiently weird and novel to fascinate me

anyway, tell me why im wrong, terra ignotans! humani nihil a me alienum puto

#ask #spacific-sunrise #terra ignota

52 notes · View notes

sebbianas · 1 year

Text

[spidey!steve au where steve loses his first fight as spiderman and eddie is patching him up.]

it was a close call, if robin hadnt came in and helped steve, he would have been seriously injured and the enemy would have gotten away. he was quiet as eddie patches up his bruises and cuts, eddie tries to talk to him but his mind is racing with all the things he could have done better.

maybe if he was faster the enemy wouldnt have been able to cut his web and cause him to fall. maybe if he was stronger he could have knocked the enemy out after that first few punches. maybe if he was smarter he could have seen who the enemy was before this fight even began. maybe—

“knock it out, stevie.” eddie said as he flicker steve on the forehead. “i can hear you thinking.”

steve glares at eddie. “i’m injured. you’re not allowed to hurt me even more.”

eddie rolls his eyes. “dont be dramatic. thats my thing.”

steve looks away from eddie’s kind eyes. it was distracting and all he wanted was to brood over his lost today.

“look.” eddie started, grabbing steve hands and holding it in his. “the villain was caught and apprehended. thats all that matters, sweetheart.”

steve stares at their hands, eddie’s hands were rough but they were warm compared to steve cold ones. “i almost lost and if werent for robbie i would have died and that asshole would gotten away and do more. its a big deal, eddie!”

“but he didnt okay. he’s taken down and you and rob saved the day. it all comes down to that. you saved this town again, steve.” eddie said softly, squeezing steve’s hand.

“thats not enough.” steve growled. he let go of eddie’s hands and jumped down the counter. ran his hands thru his hair, stared at eddie, feeling defeated. “i was given this power, eddie. its special and wonderful and even with this great responsibility i almost lost! i wasnt fast enough or strong enough or smart enough! whats the point of having this power if i cant even use it right! im still the same loser i was before i got it!”

“listen to me.” eddie called to him, grabbing him by his waist. “you’re not special because you’re spiderman, steve. spiderman is special because he’s you.”

steve stopped breathing. is it because of eddie’s hand on his waist or because of what eddie said he’ll never know. “what?”

“you didnt become a great person when that spider bit you, steve. you were already an amazing person who is kind and wonderful and sweet. spiderman is loved and respected because underneath that mask is you. you made spiderman what he is and his powers are just tools for you to use but the core of who he is and how well loved he is is because of you, stevie.” eddie said, pulling him even closer. “you didnt start saving people when you put on that mask. you were already saving lives before that. you saved mine when i was at my lowest, saved robin when she was having doubts and fear. saved dustin and the kids by taking care of them. you are the perfect person to be spiderman because no one has the same heart as you, okay?”

“but...” was all steve could say.

“not buts, stevie.” eddie continued. “you saved this town over and over again and i know you’ll have more fights to come and we’ll be there for you, to help you win every fight and if you lose we’ll be here to patch you up and get you ready for the next fight. you’re the perfect spiderman, steve harrington and no gets to question that. not even you.”

eddie pulled him back to the counter so he can finish patching up steve. all steve could do was watch him. feeling warmth and love for the man in front of him, steve knew he could win all his fights with eddie taking care of him like this.

spiderman was indeed special but not because steve harrington was underneath the mask but because he has eddie munson in every step.

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steve stranger things #steddie stranger things #eddie stranger things #steve x eddie #steddie headcanon #spidey steve harrington

103 notes · View notes

skiiyoomin · 9 months

Note

I was wondering if you could write a saiki & reader oneshot fic with a reader who has DID & C-PTSD and paranoid tendencies? I understand that that might be a bit too hard to write but just in case I got some recorces that might be handy, here is the link to DID listing from my own copy of the newest version of the DSM https://www.dropbox.com/sh/htaraej65e34tg9/AADBATmelRQFUBfTMxaJ3W6wa?dl=0 as well as this website that has a lot of good info on it https://did-research.org/ and this page I found that has a brief overview of C-PTSD https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd but I also recommend quickly reading thru the different types of flashbacks (shouldn't be that hard to find info on)

The main idea is that because of the mix dissociation,switching,paranoia, different types of flashbacks etc that the readers thoughts are very fucking confusing to saiki (feel free to use this premise for any kind of plot you want just try not to make it overly angsty is all I ask, well as un-angsty as you can get with C-PTSD anyways lol) I just wanna see more y/n / reader inserts that I can actually relate to but the saiki K fandom is so small

Can be platonic or romantic

Hi!! So sorry for the late reply, I researched as much as I could so if theres anything remotely wrong or different please tell me! Ngl, im not very sure i like how it turned out, nevertheless I hope you enjoy :))

Also i totally get that its hard finding stuff for saiki k which is the reason why i write for it in the first place, they totally deserve more recognition!! Feel free to send more requests in the future!!

warnings: somewhat angsty but not really, i tried to be as vague as possible so as not to trigger anyone, reader suffers from trauma, DID, CPTSD, swearing, fluffy ending? slightly oc saiki

RULES !!

DO NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK PLEASE

REQUESTS: OPEN

NAVIGATION

WHO DO I WRITE FOR?

summary: Saiki was used to listening to many types of thoughts, and at one point, nothing he heard surprised him. However when you came around, he was beyond confused. What sparks as a little curiosity might turn into something more.

-------------------------------------------------

No matter what | Kusuo Saiki

He was used to it, or at least that's what he used to tell himself. Throughout the years he had heard all sorts of thoughts, at one point, he learned to tune them out when need be, having listened in on weird enough ideas that now don't surprise him anymore.

When you came in the picture, he was...baffled, to say the least. Confusing wasn't even close of a word to express how he felt. Your thought process was anything but simple. At times it'd be a fuzzy mess almost as if you lost part of your memory, other times, you'd think as if you were a completely different person, contradicting many of your previous thoughts. But what disturbed him most was the series of traumatic thoughts that would cross your mind. Flashbacks he realized in that moment.

In the beginning he felt annoyed, as per usual. Often times, he'd find you in class with a dazed expression, which to be frank, he had seen enough times to not give it a second thought. But then his attention would be caught when your mind would wander and you'd start thinking in a very unusual way. They were so unlike the person you presented to be, so much so that Saiki was left perplexed and in need to understand exactly what was going on.

The more it happened the more worried he'd be. There were days where you acted a certain way, and other days where you acted completely different. He could tell you weren't being fake trying to act differently for attention, after all, your thoughts lined up with the you acted and the things you said. Rather, it was the abrupt changes in your behaviour that had him thinking for far longer than he normally would.

Along the way, he also picked up how you'd flinch if you were in sudden physical contact, the way your shoulders would tense and the way your heart beat would speed up. Saiki wasn't stupid of course, he was aware that all of this was caused by some form of trauma.

He knew not to pry, yet his heart strings pulled everytime he saw you having a bad moment. So he began to follow you, in disguise of course, and even if he seemed like a stalker, he couldn't help it. Eventually he began to connect the dots, your reactions, behaviors, everything. It made sense now.

Unconciously, his words began to soften around you, his touch became gentler, he looked out for you in ways he had never done so with others. You began to notice but in no way did you mind, if anything, Saiki was someone you took great comfort in. What started of small slowly grew into something neither of you expected.

Of course, that didn't make it any less hard for either of you. Like right now. You were laying in Saikis bed, your head resting on his shoulder as you watched a movie, when suddenly a specific scene had triggered an anxiety attack. Your mind was racing through flashbacks of the many disturbing events you had gone through. Saiki was up almost immediately, having read your mind and sensed your reaction.

His touch was soft, his hands cupping your face so gently you'd think he was scared to break you, which he was. He was in no way someone who could comfort others easily. Nevertheless he tried his best. He attempted to lower your heart rate, rubbing small circles against your back as his other hand held the back of your head. No words were needed, they never were. He had, in a way, been there for you, way before you two even became a thing, so none of this was a surprise for either of you.

That didn't ease the guilt in your heart any less. You always felt bad. You knew Saiki could read you, literally. And well, it wasn't pretty. Countless times you had attempted to push him away, yet he never budged.

"'m sorry" you mumbled against his shoulder as your rested your head on it.

He cupped your face in his hands, pulling you to look at him.

`I won't let you push me away. The things you went through won't make me see you any differently, because to me you'll still be someone I cherish'

Your eyes welled up as you looked him deep in the eyes, finding nothing but love for you. Still cupping your face, he ran his thumbs under your eyes, wiping the tears away. He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

'I love you'

"No matter what?"

`No matter what'

36 notes · View notes

mesanthropi · 6 months

Note

hihihi moots as svt memes go!

i feel like i know you from somewhere, anon 👁️👁️ but i have a shit ton of those so LET'S GO. I'M DOING THIS FOR ALL MY MUTUALS (memes under the readmore)

@wheeboo still can't believe we're moots. anyway, i literally just clicked on this one solely for the captions, but i guess i just gravitated to seungkwan naturally. we're all shocked by capitalism, but ate rani would be the most shocked by it. (she'd hate gas prices here in the ph)

@weird-bookworm these are all gonna be gose pictures, huh? /j this was literally her with me earlier this afternoon. like i was all "should i let the intrusive thoughts win", she came into the replies, then on discord HAHAHAHAH im so sorry you have to deal with my nonsense, but i am stuck with you like oxygen to blood cells.

@3ninth ok not a kpop mutual, but i don't have many mutuals so ya'll are here now no matter what fandom you come from 👉👉 homie is my fellow discord mod. miss her sm fr, hopefully she's back when the owner pops back in from school activities!! if you see this, paula, hope ur having a great time. if not, tell us who we need to beat up

@fairyhaos ATE YENAAAA <33 ok so as an alternative, there's [this], but! primarily, she's giving. this specific mingyu pic. this was defo them during the shua dating rumors and i don't blame her, BUT ALSO. I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALSO A THING WHENEVER AN ILLEGAL REQ POPS INTO THE ASK BOX. WHEN ARE WE GETTINBG AN UPDATE ON THE COUNT /JJJ

@kyeomyun she's the homie frfr actually. jadaders would tbh go "that's unfortunate" with the biggest smile on her face if there's any minor inconvenience that happens to either you or her. it's either in a way where girlie is fr amused by your misfortune, or this is a call for help. she's going thru it @ school so hopefully she gets a break soon ^^

@i-luvsang just for you, i'm getting an atz meme (and also bc its their 5th debut anniv <3). feel like marimoon would get the nearest stuffed animal in a shop, call for me, and do this with the blankest face they can manage. i'd lose my mind ofc i laugh at everything but especially shit like this. it's deadpan humor, i swear

@hannyoontify KIKIEEEEEEE <333 DO YOU LOVE ME /LYR /J anyway, kie!! my homie kie, we miss you here at residencia misantropia. moving on, we have this lovely jeonghan screenshot from a knowing bros episode. feel like this is their mood sometimes. hopefully you're taking care of yourself, man! when you come back, we're here with open arms fr ong!!

@joshuahonggf JIAAAA we don't talk much but i adore her sm. [img text's rough tr: i know you're getting nervous about tomorrow, sis] we'd probably be the type of homies who'd spam e/o on discord about a project we're grouped up in. or an exam. or a performance, one or the other. but we end up doing great anyway B))) we're cool like that

@haowrld HI PRE 👉👉👉 abnother filo buddy of mine hehehe. wishing u luck on ur fic btw! i assign to you this woozi screenshot. because sometimes, we get those moments of having zero thoughts in our head. this is also at every writer ever, we're good at imnagining shit but actually writing it is either the hardest thing ever or it comes naturally. goodluckies!!

@wqnwoos HANA WHO CAME BACK BECAUSE ANON CALLED THEM POOKIE 👉👉👉 /jjj but seriously, hana was one of the ppl i first followed after i discovered svt fics on tumblr. she's one of the firsy writer si followed!! but considerinh the fact that she used my iwn salt shaker threat against me, this is what they'd send me i think. idk. its lke 1:21 am im getting sillier with these

@mach1nat1on YOU. ASSHOLE. TRAUMATIZER. IMN GIVING YOU THIS BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I FEEL SOMETIMES WHENEVER YOU DO SOME SHIY IN THE PRIVATE SERVER. YOU HURT MY BBGS YOU HURT ME!! DID YOU KNOW THAT!?!?!??! NOW YOU'RE JUST SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW 🗣️🗣️ but i also love u dw i forgive u everytime and i support your righst and your wromgs. just know that we are forever in a love/hate relationship

@lumasahina im gonna sc this and send this to our priv server but!! hey dude <3 traumatizer numero uno right beside mac and holls. this is you wnheever i manage to put lore into my silly little writings and my silly little characters. and for the record, just so you know, i feel the same way sometimes. i love how you do lore tho! it's always so well-done n they flow well hehe

@holland (not @ing for other reasons) my HOMIE OF ALL HOPMIES, MY POOKIECAKES MY POOKUMS SNOOKUMS <3 sorry abt that those were rge demons. the voices. anyway! here's your assigned meme. skz just for you. i'd take pics of you like this. those 0.5 angles on iphone, then use them as reaction pics or emojis in our server. but i would also cherish these pictures bc they're you and you r my resident "across the world homie for years". stay safe, drink water, and i hope to finish ur req soon aughhhh

holy shit its like 1:53am now wtf

12 notes · View notes

trans-advice · 9 months

Text

I might be going to my areas first pride event in August and would like some advice since there is a few problems I have. I came out as non-binary to my family in 2019/2020 ish (memory issues) it went okay (more about that later). I realized I was non-binary trans masc and attempted to come out thru a cake with the words 'im trans'. A few questions came up about it (I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety) and attempted to explain that non-binary was under the trans umbrella due to being a giant bundle of nerves. My attempt went up in flames due to my dad believing that non-binary people don't exist. I haven't brought it up since. I am out online, and to a few certain people irl. I really want to go to the pride completely out of the closet to my immediate family. But I don't know how to go about telling them. Also it'd be my first time ever going to pride. I'd really like to know like proper pride etiquette and if there are like unspoken social rules for pride events since I have anxiety and autism and don't want to offend or upset anyone if I end up going. So any advice on pride etiquette is very appreciated!

So for the 1st part, if you're going to come out again to your immediate family, I would basically save your dad for last so that you can try to see if you have any supportive people first. This would be helpful because maybe those people can either help out in dealing with your dad's enbyphobia (& transphobia).

Also keep in mind that if you go to the pride event you will probably be surrounded by trans-supportive people. Therefore if you worry about your immediate family's hostility interfering with your ability to go, seek those "few certain people irl" to help you out.

DIsability things off the top of my head

bring water or gatorade & keep it on your person.

a damp cold washcloth (less water the better because vagus nerve/anxiety, along with dealing with hot weather)

a mask for covid, an N95 if possible. (not only does this do your part, but N95's were designed for construction workers. This can help if there's smoke, perhaps from a wildfire.)

Keep in mind where the exits are in case you need to step out for some reason

When you give compliments don't talk compare people's looks to other people because those people might not like those other people. So focus on like maybe like pride flags, or complement the styles in other ways.

Readers please give any feedback for pride ettiquette tips.

Good Luck, Peace & Love, Eve

#time sensitive #pride

19 notes · View notes

amora-ledezma · 2 years

Text

I have this funny idea for a Twisted Wonderland x Obey Me! story/fanfic—

Okay, Yuki(Obey Me MC) and Yuu(Twisted Wonderland MC) are both from the same “world”(Yuki’s/Obey Me world) and they’re besties. I imagine them having a dynamic that balances each other out, like Yuki can be reckless and Yuu is their impulse control, I think it would be interesting.

I know this would probably ruin the whole “Yuu came from a world where magic doesn’t exist” but consider; you know how it was mentioned in twst that transportation magic can mess up a person’s mind for a little while? What if Yuu was roped into deal a higher power made with RSA and NRC? So technically the whole thing about Yuu’s world not having magic was just the transportation magic’s effects and they would remember later on in the story(say, Malleus’ Overblot). So both stories proceed, Yuu disappears first, and Yuki’s just all “omg what happened to my bestie did they die?!” and all but then Diavolo’s letter comes and then they get to Devildom and then Obey Me! continues on as usual.

Yuu finds a way back after remembering “oh sh-t, im not from a magicless world, i myself just dont have magic” but it turns out it was thru some portal and they can essentially go back and forth both worlds so Yuu is just taking a vacation back in their world. And then Yuu hears about Yuki’s situation and is like “??? my best friend is in literal hell???? i know they were a menace but wHAT-” and then after their panic sets down they decide to visit Yuki in Devildom(how? I don’t know? Maybe the brothers/Diavolo agreed because they wanted to do something for Yuki) and then Yuu surprises Yuki which leads to Yuki almost burning Yuu.

And so they decide to catch up and tell each other what has been happening in their respective lives. And by this point I think they would just be tired and wouldn’t even flinch at the mention of death so the conversation just goes:

Yuu: So, how many times did you almost die?

Yuki: A lot, and I actually died one time

Yuu: you what.

And then Yuu is back on “Yuki’s impulse control” duty.

Or, alternatively, they both decide to reck havoc and chaos on the brothers. And no, I’m not going to elaborate.

And if you haven’t figured it out yet, Yuu is the only person that can actually see how much of red flags the brothers and the dateables have, and tries to make Yuki see them too so they could do at least something about it but they ultimately give up.

And their conversations would be like one of the many instances where you try to tell your bestie the person their talking to is a red flag while they gush and simp over said person:

Yuki: Gosh, Belphie is so hot.

Yuu: …d-didn’t he kill you?

Yuki: And on top of that, he’s so adorable! How can someone be both all at once!

Yuu: Bestie-

Yuki: And Lucifer too! He’s so serious and mature…

Yuu: You have many reasons not to trust him-

Yuki: And Leviathan! He told me he sometimes watches romance animes just to memorize the scene and recreate them with me!

Yuu: Wasn’t he the one that tried to kill you for having some limited addition keychain from his favorite series…?

Yuki: Diavolo is even more so! So responsible and well-spoken!

Yuu: He’d put being the future demon king first and probably would give up on you because of that.

Yuki: Satan is so intellectual! Well-spoken too, well-read, and what’s more is he likes cats!

Yuu: …he sounds strangely similar to me- probably the only trustworthy person you have mentioned so far

Yuki: What about Mammon?

Yuu: Ding dong are those the f-cking wedding bells I hear? Probably one of the only green flags in this whole kingdom.

Yuki: …Barbatos?

Yuu: Don’t even ask, man seems like he can easily manipulate you.

May or may not write more with this prompt. Wait for that if you want.

Bonus: The brothers’ reaction to Grim

*Lucifer staring at Grim and Yuu*

*Grim hisses at him*

Grim: Stay away from my human.

Grim kind of reminds Lucifer of Mammon(mostly because he’s named after their literal currency).

Mammon: What’s this demon cat’s name?

Yuu: Grim.

*Happy Mammon noises*

Mammon: Can I borrow him? He might bring money, he’s kind of a panda.

Yuu, dazzled by Mammon’s smile: Sure,

Grim: HUMAN NO—

Grim was brought to the casino and stayed there all day.

Levi would just stare and walk away, weirding out Yuu and Grim.

*Satan, eyes practically sparkling as he looks at Grim behind his book*

Yuu, noticing: You can pet him if you want!

*Satan, silently putting down the book and taking a sleeping Grim off of Yuu’s lap*

Grim: W-what- HUMAN THIS DEMON’S KIDNAPPING ME-

Yuu: He isn’t kidnapping you, Grim.

Grim: He totally is—

*Grim purring as Satan pets him*

Yuu, looking down at Satan’s book: Any book recommendations?

Satan: Depends on which genre.

Yuu: …anything with academic rivals to lovers.

Satan, pulling out a long list: Glad you asked.

In return for Satan’s good book recommendations, Yuu gave him some of their magical textbooks from Twisted Wonderland, Satan grew interested in overblots and now they somehow have weekly meet ups to just have tea and read books.

Asmodeus would just compliment Grim’s shiny fur and Yuu’s smooth skin, which leads to Yuu introducing Asmo to Vil’s cosmetics brand.

Let’s be honest, Beel would probably try to give some random demon food to Grim, who happily accepts it. They get along pretty well because of their unending appetites.

Belphie would just make Grim into a pillow/body pillow.

#disney twst #twisted wonderland #obey me incorrect quotes #twst incorrect quotes #twst yuu #obey me mc #twst x obey me

180 notes · View notes