#ultimate goal failure

[adorkabletwilightandfriends]

Adorkable Twilight & Friends - “Ultimate Goal Failure"

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#ultimate goal failure #adorkable twilight and friends #adorkable twilight #adorkable twilight & friends #adorkable #twilight sparkle #grocery store #forgetting #forgetful #van #car #kitchen #refrigerator #yogurt #sale #comic #slice of life

[winedark]

i have decided to learn french (yet again) because it is the most accessible option to me right now, both in terms of availability and also accessibility (i have lots of previous texts, some foundational knowledge, there's a local [enough] school that has a lot to offer, i can afford it etc) but i keep winding myself up because i feel like i'm doing it for nothing bc it's not the language i want to prioritise for my career. however if i can't learn french with all these resources then i don't know how i'll manage to learn any italian/greek/arabic in the future

#beehive whispers #oh if i could kick my own ass rn.... #i have been umming and ahhing about whether to start french or italian for the last four years and have been so indecisive #that i know very little of either. so that didn't work out did it! #so i chose french for reasons above and it feels like its the wrong choice bc of ultimate career goals however. #it's not like there's such thing as a useless language. its not like it won't help. if i can just grab my brain and SHAKE #there's something about language classes that always makes me feel like i'm a failure 😭 i think its just the 1 thing i can't learn quickly

[kuroshirosb]

No matter what Piper does he was doomed from the start

#i keep thinking about this aspect of his story #no matter what happens to him he was always set up for failure #even #if he succeeds in his goals he’ll eventually doom himself one way or another #and ultimately it was for the best he didn’t succeed #if anything while bw is a tragedy it’s probably the best possible ending for him at the very least #because of just how. unprepared he was mentally #while everyone dies at the end of BW #(metaphorically) #piper specifically #was dead from the beginning

[joseefinwrites]

Ultimate "Know Your Character Inside Out" Template

The ultimate template for creating a character, without losing your mind, while you're at it.

Character Background Template ... (open)

1. Name:

2. Age:

3. Gender & Pronouns:

4. Physical Appearance:

   - Hair color:

   - Eye color:

   - Height:

   - Build:

   - Distinguishing features (scars, tattoos, etc.):

5. Background and Upbringing:

   - Where were they born and raised?

   - What was their family structure like (parents, siblings)?

   - Describe their childhood environment and upbringing.

   - Were there any significant events or traumas in their past?

6. Education and Skills:

   - What level of education did they receive?

   - Did they excel in any particular subjects or skills?

   - Have they pursued any additional training or education since then?

7. Personality Traits:

   - Describe their personality in a few words.

   - What are their strengths and weaknesses?

   - How do they typically react under stress or pressure?

8. Motivations and Goals:

   - What are their short-term and long-term goals?

   - What drives them to pursue these goals?

   - Are there any fears or insecurities that motivate or hinder them?

9. Relationships:

   - Who are the most important people in their life?

   - How do they interact with family, friends, and acquaintances?

   - Do they have any romantic interests or significant relationships?

10. Past Experiences:

    - Have they faced any major challenges or setbacks in the past?

    - How have these experiences shaped their beliefs and values?

    - Have they experienced any significant losses or tragedies?

11. Worldview and Beliefs:

    - What are their core beliefs and values?

    - How do they view the world around them?

    - Are there any cultural, religious, or philosophical influences in their life?

12. Inner Conflict:

    - What internal struggles do they face?

    - Are there any unresolved issues from their past that continue to affect them?

    - How do these inner conflicts impact their decisions and actions?

13. Connection to Outer Conflict/Plot:

    - How does their personal journey intersect with the main plot or external conflict?

    - What stakes are involved for the character in the larger story?

    - How do their goals and motivations align (or conflict) with the central conflict?

 

(Shorter) Knowing Your Character Inside Out Checklist

Personality Traits:

   - Introverted/Extroverted

   - Optimistic/Pessimistic

   - Assertive/Passive

   - Empathetic/Self-centered

   - Logical/Emotional

   - Adventurous/Cautious

   - Honest/Dishonest

   - Ambitious/Content

Beliefs and Values:

   - Religious beliefs (if any)

   - Moral code

   - Political beliefs

   - Views on relationships

   - Attitude towards authority

Fears and Insecurities:

   - Common fears (spiders, heights, etc.)

   - Deep-seated insecurities (failure, rejection, etc.)

   - Traumatic experiences (if applicable)

Desires and Goals:

   - Short-term goals

   - Long-term aspirations

   - What motivates them to pursue these goals?

Strengths:

   - Intellectual strengths

   - Physical abilities

   - Emotional resilience

   - Social skills

   - Unique talents or abilities

Weaknesses:

   - Personal flaws

   - Areas of vulnerability

   - Bad habits

   - Limiting beliefs

Backstory:

    - Family background

    - Childhood experiences

    - Significant life events that shaped their identity

    - Education and career path

    - Previous relationships

-Josie

#writer community #writing #writing help #character template #original character #character creation #creative writing #writeblr #writerslife #writing community #writers on tumblr #writers of tumblr #writers #writing inspiration #writing prompt #writing prompts #writing tips #writing reference #character prompt #rp template #rp resources #writing advice #writing blog #on writing #writerscommunity #writing template #multiuse #creative process #character creation template #authors of tumblr

[4yue]

iTs HaPpEnInG

#i cancelled my therapist app on wednesday and i see her again next wednesday #tempted to cancel and then show my ultimate form the my psychiatrist on friday #bc like.... she wouldnt approve of my current mental state but i dont want to get better anymore #it was stupid and selfish which is rlly funny and pointless considering i am incapable of seeing myself as a person #well actually i wasnt selfish when i was better and becoming her vision #but its not stable... not maintainable... which is why im back her going down this path #which is extremely selfish #which at the root is not what i want at all #so im going back to disassociating from myself bc the robot version of myself ive been dreaming of is better overall #once i reach it ik i wont fall back to smth worse #i already dont have any feelings towards my family like i think i just need to expand the real estate of that part of my brain #no feelings towards Anything #setting my goal of supporting my friend and taking my classes and letting the robot do the rest #its very sad i am so sad actually im crying now but it really is for the best #sacrificing the possibility of happiness bc the risk for complete failure is too high #settling for nothingness #thats life isnt it #i wasnt aborted for this

[billfarrah]

One of my favourite things about Young Royals and its characters is how much it romanticizes being utterly ordinary.

Stories often focus on characters who are exceptionally good at something or who are more ambitious than the average person. Even in the teen shows I’ve watched, these young characters always seemed to have their dream career and dream university figured out at a young age and I could never relate to that because I had none of those things figured out as a teen. It always felt like pushing this narrative that teenagers need to have their entire lives figured out before their brains are even fully developed.

None of the characters in YR seem particularly ambitious and in fact, the main character’s journey is a story of anti-ambition. When he is introduced to Simon, it is precisely Simon’s ordinariness that draws Wille to him. Sure, Simon is a very talented singer, but it’s never indicated within the series that he has dreams of being a pop star. It’s just something he likes to do. Simon is motivated by very ordinary things - he wants to do well in school so he can have better opportunities for himself, he wants to take care of his family, he wants to hang out with his friends and play video games. He’s a dedicated student but not necessarily valedictorian. It’s not his ambition that Wille is drawn to but his integrity and kindness and warmth.

Wille had a chance to be extraordinary - to be Sweden’s first gay king - but being extraordinary has never been Wille’s ambition. Wille’s ultimate goal and dream within the series’ narrative is to be free to make his own decisions and live his life as he pleases. He just wants to kiss his boyfriend and get drunk at parties and live his life one day at a time instead of spending every moment of his life preparing for an inevitable future he doesn’t want. In the end Wille is extraordinary not for his ambition, but for his bravery to reject the expectations thrust upon him and throw himself into the unknown and see where it takes him. Wille had a whole future in front of him as crown prince and future king - he’d never have to work a day in his life and would have people advising his every move - and he rejects that. This lack of ambition is not portrayed as a moral failure, but a necessary step in Wille’s journey to personal self-discovery and fulfillment of his own desires. His desire right now is simple - be free with Simon, but that doesn’t mean his dreams end here forever. He deserves peace and tranquility after all the trauma he’s been through without having to worry about where or who he’s gonna be in a few years. He deserves time to just exist.

None of the characters know where they’re going when they drive away at the end. We as the audience don’t know what careers if any these characters will find themselves in, but that’s also not important to this story. The series is saying you don’t have to have everything figured out when you’re 17 and you don’t have to do something just because your parents think they know what’s best for you and even if you don’t know exactly what you want to do, that doesn’t mean you don’t have the agency to know what you don’t want.

It’s not a moral failing to want the simple things in life or to be ordinary, and I love that Young Royals celebrates that. It shows the beauty in simple moments that feel revolutionary to a person - touching the person you love, forgiving someone and making amends after a hardship, whooping with your friends in a car as you drive into the summer and celebrates them. Ultimately these are the moments that make life worth living.

#young royals #idk if this even makes sense but I had to get it off my chest

[cepheustarot]

What will attract your future spouse in you?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: I can say that you are already attractive in yourself, you have a beautiful, charming appearance and your charisma attracts people! You are one of those who knows how to start a conversation, always find a topic for him and you can also maintain a dialogue, any topic, you look like an interested interlocutor and your future spouse will immediately notice this in you, he will be very pleased that you are so attentively and enthusiastically participating in a conversation with him. You are a versatile person in yourself, you may have many hobbies or fields of activity, you are one of those who are open to new things and curiously plunges into all the unknown for you. Also your future spouse will be very attracted by your emotionality, you are clearly one of those who has a lively bright speech, who has a bright facial expression, he is attracted by how you vividly react to any details. As I said, you are quite a versatile person who likes to try something new and he will also like it in you. He respects in you that you do not give up after the first failure but try again, try new approaches, methods, he appreciates your diligence and dedication, the desire to achieve your goal. He also respects your ability to adapt to any situation, in this regard you are a flexible person and you react quickly to changes, you know how to adapt to them. You also adjust the dialogue to the form of communication that is convenient for both of you, this also attracts him very much. He generally sees you as the soul of the company, an open and brave person, and he admires and attracts you very much. You can also sometimes playfully flirt and flirt, but at the same time it looks neat and unobtrusive, which warms up interest in you.

Pile 2: Your future spouse is attracted by your maturity, wisdom, and life experience, and you generally look like a knowledgeable person who has achieved a lot in his life. You are also characterized by emotional maturity, you do not worry about any little things and minor reasons, you are calm enough and can keep this calm even in stressful situations; you are not one of those who succumb to panic and emotions, you are exactly the one who is already thinking through a plan of action, how to cope with a difficult task, with a difficult situation, with problems. He respects such personality traits very much, he sees you as a really adult and responsible person! You are also one of those who does not flatter people and does not exaggerate in words, you openly and honestly say your opinion, what you think about people's actions, what you think about this or that person in general — and your future spouse really appreciates your openness, honesty, straightforwardness. At the same time your honest opinion does not offend people, on the contrary, they just respect what you tell them, respect your words, because they can see in you some kind of mentor. Your future spouse is also attracted to the fact that you are easy-going, easily take on something new, you can make decisions quickly and not regret them, in general, this is your speed and attracts him, maybe because you two have the same pace of life, the pace of action! Also he is attracted by your passion for business, you can literally burn with new ideas, your activities, and such dedication to something he admires.

Pile 3: Your future spouse is attracted by the fact that you are a fairly active person who finds it difficult to sit still, you can always figure out how to dispel boredom, what to do, you are never bored. He likes your sense of humor, your jokes really seem funny and funny to him, he feels on the same page with you, he is very comfortable with you. You may also have the feeling that you have known each other for much longer, since in a short time you could really get very close. He is also attracted to the fact that you know how to find a way out of any situation, you know how to resolve any dispute and problem, you know how to find an approach to each person and in general you are one of those who have a ready-made plan for all occasions. He really appreciates your creativity, your non-standard approach to business, perhaps you also tend to think outside the box, you may have a strongly developed lateral thinking. It's also easy for you to study any topic, you literally absorb information like a sponge and you always have something to tell. It's your frankness that attracts him, he likes that you share any thoughts with them whether it's some of your reflections on philosophical topics or funny stories from childhood, or in general a story about how your day went. You know how to present information in such a way that everyone will listen to you attentively and with interest, you can tell a very fascinating story.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

#tarot #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #pac #pick a picture #pick a photo

[yinses]

5 (+ 1)

or five times you attempted to pet tighnari's ears and the one time he let you

tighnari x gn! reader rated: t wc: 9k+

a/n: i swear i'm not a genshin writer. every now and again one just really hits me and won't leave me alone. i'm shaking at the prospect of meeting cyno.

|1|

when you had taken up the life of a very luxurious forest ranger, you hadn’t done so with any grand goal in mind. growing up you’d never been enticed by the prestige of the akademiya. the too tight robes warded off any appeal of unlimited knowledge. 

you weren’t much of a haggler either, so market trading had never been much of an option. to be honest, in most cases you couldn't be bothered and would give away something for free if it meant getting the person out of your face.

maybe as a child you’d dreamed of theatre. promises of dancing in front of a crowd. or performing a sincere song of gratitude in honour of your generous archon. but there was a reason why only the children of sumeru dreamt. because it saved you the reality of embarrassment. 

ultimately it made sense for you to be a forest ranger. you were blessed with a vision and had the aptitude for conflict when needed. you didn't mind being outside. sumeru was a beautiful land of bountiful vegetation and fauna. you were proud to be part of the force protecting it. 

so naturally, you were destined to join their ranks. you would fit in splendidly as long as you followed the basic code of conduct.

the rules were simple:

execute every possible strategy to ensure the safety of the public

do not engage in any withering zone excavation without first reporting it

do not under any circumstances attempt to touch master tighnari’s ears.

you believed that honour should be given where it was due, and tighnari certainly earned a bulk of it in sumeru. he was as tenacious in his research as he was in his determination to cull the withering.  

it was admirable. unquestionably gave his subordinates something to look up to. it helped that he made an easy guy to work for. tighnari was an abundance of knowledge, never failing to deliver relevant facts about any form of botany in sight. 

during your initial interview he completely sidetracked himself from testing your competency in favour of dumping the equivalent of a knowledge capsule on the entire forest on you. and during the whole time all you could think was how cute.

those fluffy, distractingly soft ears he had that twitched with every emotion. you noticed that sometimes they swayed unprompted, as if they had a mind of their own. the man himself seemed oblivious to your obsession, or just so immune to the attention at this point that it hardly phased him. 

it was a shame really. 

because by the time he realised you were out of your seat, he had a split second to snatch your offending hand before your fingers to reach the fur. the utterly adorable culprits seemed to tease your failure, flickering invitingly just out of reach of your wiggling fingers. 

at least you had enough integrity to smile in the face of defeat as your future boss leered at you unimpressed. 

he spent the remainder of your now orientation laminating over the very extensive punishment policy to be expected of any broken infractions. 

|2|

it was safe to say the threat of punishment didn’t weigh too heavily on your consciousness. what you did learn, was everything more the life of a ranger had to offer. it wasn’t as though you belittled it to a simple forest guide. you were well aware of how each and every one of your colleagues put their life on the line to protect the gifts from the first of the dendro goddess. 

but you never expected your contribution to feel so satisfying. 

every day your body got stronger, gaining the resilience and stamina to endure long treks through the forest. you became more in tune with your vision, able to protect not only yourself but others from harm. unexpectedly, tighnari’s long winded tangents began sounding more appealing as you absorbed the information rather than repel it. 

with each passing day you grew into the role of a proper forest ranger.

though there was one thing you hadn’t grown out of. 

“you two will be assigned with me. we’ll patrol the southeast canopy.”

tighnari was always so serious when delegating assignments. archon’s bless him. given it was a momentous occasion as it was imperative to understand everyone’s role so that their was a fair opportunity to return home safe and sound. 

it was just he way his ears followed each command. the adorable quiver not at all equivalent to his resolute voice. even after over a year under his command, it was still so distracting. to be fair, you’d learned to control your urges. after the second attempt and a week of making sure the long row of lamps remained glowing, you had at least accepted the pressing issue of testing his patience. 

your respect didn’t go unrewarded either. over time, you learned that under those cute ears was a very interesting man. you always knew he valued his time in the forest and that the publications were not just for show like some of the akademiya graduates. but to witness his unfiltered passion for the forest was … kind of refreshing. 

it made for genuine conversations that allowed you to feed off one another. while you’d never quite match his never ending knowledge for botany, you accompanied it well with your growing love for fauna. 

in short, tighnari had become an unexpected friend. 

with very endearing ears that you still felt the urge to touch after many, many months of barely held restraint. 

it was admirable. 

worth the gained friendship. 

and yet.

collei’s shoulder knocked comfortably into yours as she hopped with glee. her joy made her unaware to the sharp gazes watching her exuberant movements for any signs of fatigue. being around collei had eventually led you to believe that something was different about her.

as a fellow trainee for a time, the two of you had grown close enough for her to feel secure in delving into more of her past. her illness wasn’t necessarily rare but it wasn’t often you met many affected with as much optimism as she had. 

there was no doubt she had bouts of pain. sometimes you would cover her patrols to give her extra days of rest. tighnari was the most observant, always knowing when she needed a break. still the girl was a refreshing take on life in these darkening days. 

it helped that you both shared a fixation with a certain pair of furry ears.

whereas she was more timid in her appreciation, you had yet to shed your bold approach. 

well, maybe you got a little smarter. 

“but i already know about the sweetwater mushrooms,” collei whispered back, confusion staining her voice. there were times like this that her charmingness rivalled tighnari. 

you resisted the urge to pat the crown of her head. 

you all knew about the infamous fungi. upon its discover, tighnari had spent nearly a month after submitting his entry into the new rainforest guide speaking all about its elements; to anyone or anything regardless how responsive. 

if it was a botanical topic the fox found it hard to resist engaging. 

leaning closer, you kept a close eye on the leading man.” i know you do but tighnari always has something more to say. i just need you to ask him about it.” you refrained from using the word distract. 

collei’s ability to lie wasn’t a favourable skill. more often than not she caved in on herself before being able to spin a convincing tail. you’d learned fairly quickly the first time you convinced her to test a new route. the two of you hadn’t found any trouble but the slight delay in return roused a few questions. and of course tighnari had been the investigator. she never had a winning chance. 

“i still don’t get why i have to ask.”

“because i need an opening to try to touch his ears.”

the sharp gasp she left out was enough to shatter the gossip bubble as tighnari turned with a suspicious frown. his gaze fell heavily on you as the culprit. 

“what are you two muttering about?”

laughing sheepishly, your hip checked subtly against the younger girl’s as you took the lead. “just about the dusk birds. their mating season is approaching.”

tighnari raised a brow, but didn’t question further. one of the ways you’d managed to bond with collei had been over the observation of the bird hatchlings. they were one of the safer offsprings you were allowed to track in your earlier days, making you very familiar with their nesting grounds. it was one of the few areas he allowed you both to wander together without supervision. 

“uh huh, well unfortunately i doubt we’ll get many sightings this low. please try to stay vilgint for any threats.”

tighnari rolled his eyes at your comical salute but was unable to hide his small grin. it only fed into your wider one. 

good. he was in an amicable mood today. you’d both need it. 

collei managed to remain cool headed despite your hanging plan as the three of you ventured through the more worn paths. travellers and students alike tended to frequent these parts, fending off most wildlife who didn’t want to be bothered. it was mostly flora that flourished, taking up any available space. 

the perfect conversation starter. 

the green haired trainee squeaked when you cleared your throat and nudged her softly. the noise caused a flicker to tighnari’s ear but he otherwise left the two of you to your devices as he examined the population of fungi. 

your gaze darted to the seemingly preoccupied man and back, to which collei gulped but carefully approached. “um, master tighnari. do you mind going over the procedure for warning travellers about fungi again? sometimes i stumble with the more insistent ones.”

you could hear a bit of truth bleed into the ploy. it was certainly convincing enough as tighnari gestured for her to come to closer as he plucked a few samples. “certainly! it’s always good to familiarise yourself. sometimes they can get a little tricky. like this one, the bell-shaped and conical caps can often confuse people. you have to really pay attention to the arch…”

archons bless him, it didn’t really take much. 

tighnari’s eyes darted briefly to you as you settled near them. his body turned to welcome you into the discussion, but he otherwise continued his deep analysis of proper measurements of cap width. the fleeting eye contact was enough for you to witness the undeniable brightness as he conversed. 

as much as you liked to tease him, the jest hardly had any weight when the man was as serious about his research. he often responded with a chide about the importance of understanding and how it promoted coexistence. and then he would give you editions of his publications for you to study. 

the first few times, after you’d baulked at the depth of the information, you’d actually managed to discover a few interesting elements. despite his ability to drone on, the passion he felt was undeniable when reading through this material. even if you didn’t retain much of the actual reading, the smile you developed lingered. only to widen when you’d witnessed the excited flicker of his tail when you’d returned the books with a few inquiries of your own. 

tighnari took your interest in the fauna populating the forest seriously, cultivating the bud of fascination and furthering it. you hadn’t developed enough academic discretion to attempt a article- not that it would have been credible without the proper education- but tighnari baubles your insights all the same, often using your tracking skills to help develop new routes during various mating and hibernation periods. 

it … really helped you feel at home. valued amongst the other forest rangers. 

so what if you occasionally found your cheeks warming whenever he complimented your new discoveries. 

“when people ask, it's important to point out as many examples as you can to help them identify. in most cases you only have their attention for a few minutes so you need to capitalise.”

you had to give it to collei, she was either fully immersed or integrating very well into the diversion. though when tighnari got like this, it was nearly one in the same. 

rolling onto your knees, you paused as those endearing astute ears twitched in your direction. tighnari hadn’t skipped a beat, however instinct was so inherent. it made for an unfair advantage, however you had desensitisation on your side. the next disturbance you made as you leaned closer hardly got a reaction as his second nature focused on the world outside your bubble. 

it was a flattering downfall that you’d happily exploit as your hand neared your objective. 

“- actually that’s a common mistake. some of the gills look similar but if you notice here..:”

oh no. 

in one fluid motion, tighnari managed to capture your hovering hand, dragging it forward under his arm to come in contact with his other. the motion dragged you flush against his back as he manipulated your fingertips against the underside of the mushroom. 

“-… there’s a coarser distinction. of course, you have to be careful when encouraging other to touch freely as some can still be poisonous.”

naturally you doubted tighnari would use you so freely as an impromptu demonstration, punishment be damned. though the way he kept your appendage hostage implied that you weren’t free from reprimand. 

poor collei chuckled nervously as tighnari held out the fungi for her to try, eyes wondering anxiously between the two of you. from your imprisonment, you were unable to see what expression tighnari was giving off, but if the tight grip was any indicator it was safe to hypothesise that it wasn’t in your favour. 

“i um- see. thank you, master.”

tighnari didn’t appear to have any ill will towards the girl which was a small grace. his tone, however, was noticeably pinched as he directed the conversation over his shoulder. 

“do you have any questions, ranger?”

yep. 

there’s the wrath. 

accepting defeat, your head careened forward into the hollow of his shoulder as you mumbled your negative with the shake of a head. Immediately you felt his posture stiffen in responses to your relaxed submission. the proximity awarded you a personal showcase of the heat crawling up the back of his neck. 

interesting. 

“well then!” tighnari forced a cheerful bravado as he brought you both to an abrupt stand, releasing you in favour of stepping forward to lead. “collei, listen closely as they recite every classification as we finish our patrol. we can make note of their mistakes so that they don’t make them again when they extensively copy them onto the new pamphlets for next release.”

it didn’t evade you how the fox refused to face you as he pressed forward. you dared to guess that the rosy hue of his neck might match the roundness of his cheeks.

perhaps some discoveries were worth the failures. 

|3|

“I really want to feature the spinokrok in my next story but I’ve never really seen one up close. dad says it’s too dangerous though.”

“he’s right. they’re at the very bottom of the ravine.”

“oh…”

“but sometimes i pass through on patrols. if you’d like, i can snap a reference photo for you!”

“really? that would be awesome, thanks so much!”

children’s happiness was truly a unique fruit of motivation, both gratuitous and frankly slightly treacherous to consume. tighnari might liken it to one of the colourful sprouts that populate the banks near the cliffside; beautifully cunning but sure to leave you with a nasty surprise.

—okay, maybe that was a little dramatic. 

but you were certainly going to be in for quite the scolding if tighnari found out that you derailed your patrols for the sake of taking a leisure photo of wildlife. in the defence of safety, the fox wasn’t as easily swayed by a childish promise. 

fortunately, you were adept enough with just about any patrol path through the rainforest by now. your experience often persuaded tighnari to give allowance for you to tend to the paths along the outskirts of the village solo. 

which you were totally doing. 

just from a view a couple hundred metres below. 

the path towards the wetland ravine was a muddy line in the undergrowth, a quieter trail that rarely gathered much traffic: traveller or wildlife. to be honest, you hardly ever saw anything other than the spinokrok’s down here. though given their diet, it wasn’t much of a surprise. 

you carefully neared the bankside, watching the position of the sun in between the treetops. you’d already bartered away a lot of your time venturing this low. while you were known for a bit of wandering, if you took too long to check-in someone would end up alerting tighnari before long. the sky was already beginning to bleed into a light orange, the beginning shades of the setting sun melting into the blue above. 

not your first nighttime return, but the light scolding would be easy enough to shake off. 

the sudden splash drew your attention to the winding river as a crane took flight. the skittish fowl wouldn’t have been alerted to your presence this early which meant that your targets weren’t far off. 

tugging the kamera from your knapsack, you followed the line of the water through the lens. 

“there you are…”

razi would be pleased with the prints of the small brood of three. highlights from above complimented the red scales nicely. curious, you swung the lens further upstream in an attempt to capture a few more. known for their meat, if undisturbed it would be easy enough to find at least another two or three. 

however as the slithering vines stretched norther further, twisting through branches on its congest to conquer vegetation, you found the rapidly darkening view to be concerning. sure enough, the once plentiful flora was beginning to shrink on itself and take on a dull shade. the distinctive red flow of the withering zone was seated right in the apex of the blistering landscape. 

“here too?”

the area was small, but this route was part of the weekly assignments rather than the more frequent. had you not come here in search of fauna, it likely wouldn’t have been discovered for a few more days. unfortunately, locating it yourself was tantamount to giving away your private detour. 

for a brief moment you debated taking the chance to report, weighing the pros and cons. ultimately, the loss of independency once tighnari tracked your impromptu route was too great of a squander. besides, it was a small devastation. you were qualified to handle it.

—except for the corrupted machina lingering just out of sight. 

the narrow lens of the kamera hadn't been able to capture the additional dangers before you neared. had you been aware, you would have attempted to at least down one before you got too close. it was a tight battle, suffering under the thick miasma while trying to cut off the source. 

you’d managed to down the bulkier of the two, but the swindling snake-like projection had been doing an annoying job of evading your strongest attacks. with your hp at threatening level, coupled with low energy regeneration, you were starting to regret your choices just a little bit. 

you briefly wondered if tighnari would scold you through the eulogy. 

the darkness blanketing the forest worked against you, as the remaining threads of daylight faded. the red glow of the withering was the least comforting form of light to rely on as you made a hasty dodge away from the blasting beam. 

“oh, crap.”

a miscalculation saw your foot caught on a fraying vine, careening your forward as you landed heavily onto the ground. the threatening wind of the machina generating energy had you sucking in a harsh breath as you attempted to stand, resulting in a sharp jolt of pain as your ankle protested. a cold chill numbed your body in the worst way as the unsettling realisation of your actions weighed in. scrambling feebly for your weapon, you attempted to shield the next blow though you knew it wouldn't be enough. 

“enshroud!”

your body jerked in alarm as a cloud of green circled the earth around you. the lack of visibility should have been worrying, had you not been very familiar with it’s caster; and the inevitable reckoning that would come. 

the first half came in the form of a series tanglevine shafts trained to track and devastate. the secondary wave wiped out the last of the threats before your savour was able to focus on the bleeding blooms. you’d never been more grateful to witness a successful clearance, as the suffocating effects of the withering abed away. it gave you just enough clear air to breath a grateful sigh of relief before it all soured. 

the second half of your retribution, was a quieter approach of wraith then you were use to. tighnari refused to look you in the eye as he kneeled before your injured limb. not that that you were trying to see the reflection of your guilt staring back at you. it gave you the opportunity to observe that he’d come alone, making you wonder if he’d been informed or had simply stumbled upon you. 

neither option was beneficial. 

the fox was obviously simmering, that much was clear even in his silence. he’d produced a small aid kit from his belt and was examining your ankle. the first sounds of annoyance permeating the air when you squeaked at the firm pressure against the joint. 

it was obvious that you wouldn’t be walking out of here. 

as if you weren’t in enough trouble. 

tighnari’s reticence preserved as he tied a stiff bow at the end of your wrapping before turning to offer his back. sighing, you accepted your fate and looped your arms around his neck. tighnari waited until your knees settled at his sides before he rose to his feet, added a second security under the weight of your thighs. 

at first you hoped to construct a plausible excuse in his silence, but after you’d practised the same redemption for the twelfth time you were starting to become more concerned about his resilience. you dont think you've ever witness tighnari hold back a scolding this long. 

unable to hold out any longer, you poked the hornet’s nest. 

“so razi has this new story idea.”

yeah you were throwing the kid under the bus, sue you. 

the first flicker of his ears was a subtle warning, but you pressed through. 

“he wanted to use the spinokroks as his next character but he’d never really been able to see one up close. and naturally it wouldn’t be safe for a child to traverse the forests. even with his father.”

there goes the second ear. 

“so being the helpful forest ranger i am under your tutelage, i offered to secure a reference photo for him. which of course—”

tighnari’s voice came quiet and strained. “please stop talking.”

you waited for him to say more, sure that he’d have more to tack on, but no other words left his lips. it was disconcerting in a way you hadn’t experienced before. you'd suffered through annoyance, frustration and some rage. 

but rarely disappointment. 

it was bitter tasting. 

it was rather telling when even the wildlife seemed to avoid the pair as you ascended out of the ravine. tighnari managed to not only reach the outskirts of the village, but did so without cracking under the pressure of your culpability. 

unfortunately you weren’t as robust. 

“tigh—”

“for every word, i’m adding a week of lamp maintenance duty.”

you squeezed your arms and legs around him in a hug, seeking out a thread of comfort through the throbbing pain of your ankle. 

“i’m sorry.”

tighnari sucked in a sharp breath as his steps halted. you could see the first glow of the lamps in the distance, no doubt a night crew lingering near to welcome the late returners. 

“you’re an idiot.”

a tight fist squeezed your heart as you shuddered against his back. 

“i know.”

“another week! i cannot believe your absolute disregard for your welfare. not only in straying from your patrols but to attempt to clear a withering zone without reporting it first. what were you thinking?”

your lips parted, voice small,” well i thought given how far off it was that no one would come across it before it spread.”

the fox was quietly shaking under you,” i’m tempted to bench you for a year for this alone. you could have been killed.”

“but i wasn’t.”

tighnari didn’t acknowledge the crackled excuse as he resumed the ascent towards the heart of the village. the conversation was over, at least for tonight. you almost felt bad for those hapless to witness the quiet fury as the leader trudged through the canopy. though the arrangement surely painted a telling story no one dared to stop or question.

upon entering your bungalow, tighnari silently backed into your bed until you took the hint.

as your arms slipped from around him, your fingertips brushed against the furry cartilage. though the action went ignored by both parties.

“rest, we’ll discuss this in the morning.”

|4|

the discussion did not come the following morning, or the rolling day as the sun rose and set. given your ailment you weren't exactly able to seek out your punishment, though the waiting game felt like the precursor. 

for the first three days, your only visitors were collie and one of the local healers. tighnari likely hadn’t banned the nervous girl, allowing her to stumble in at first light to assess your injuries. it seemed as though he also didn’t inform her of much as she tired to glean what she could. 

unfortunately, your mood hadn’t really improved from the night before, nor had your pain levels. you managed a tight smile at best, gritting through a scarce overview. the overhanging rumours were that you finally pushed tighnari to his limits. which was not too far from the truth. 

your medicine came in three intervals, and each visit was just that. umm only offer a genial knowing close-lipped smile as she applied the numbing cream and rewrapped your joints. the only news came from collei with each meal. it was never what you wanted to hear, but the sound of a voice other than your thoughts was welcome. 

you were able to keep up with light chat, the both of you doing an amicable job at avoiding the shaggy sumpter beast in the room. if the flightiness she gave off was anything to go by, then tighnari hadn’t completely cooled off. initially, you’d only probed subtly. asking about her patrols to see who accompanied her. questioning new withering zone reports to gauge who might be assigned. either tighnari had instructed her to be tightlipped or she was on as much of a lockdown as you were because the information gleaned was inconsequential. 

it wasn’t until the fifth day, when you were able to balance on your injured ankle for longer than a minute that you dared to try for more. 

umm had just finished, stepping clear of the doorway to allow collei to maneuver freely with the two bowls of lunch. the younger girl was in a lighter mood, giving you the extra confidence to push. 

you took a bite of the leftover stew first, before testing the waters. “has tighnari taken you on any deeper patrols lately?”

the girl stiffened but otherwise did not show any signs of distress. 

“not really, he’s been kind of strict with patrols lately. only seniors have been assigned to the forest floor. i patrolled the understory with nasrin yesterday though! the dusk birds are starting to nest.”

you could resist a soft smile as the girl lead comfortable into a short tangent about the different locations she’d tracked in her notebook. she loved to watch the hatching process from the birth to first flight. tighnari was often more lenient with her during this season. you were pleased to know your mess up hadn’t resulted in that being taken away.

“hopefully i’ll be healed enough to catch one of the hatchings.”

collei’s gaze flickered to your freshly wrapped ankle, “master tighnari wouldn’t say but he’s been pretty testy about ranger etiquette lately. well more than useful.”

“yeah, i was pretty stupid,” you muttered, quoting the fox’s words from that night. 

collei sat upright on the chair by your desk, responding to your despondent mood. “he’s not nearly as bad as before though. i mean that morning after he was really mad. not like loud angry, but everyone knew not to test him. but he’s calmer now”, she assured.

you assumed as much. avoiding you was likely the best way to keep his temper in check.

you watched as the green haired trainee squirmed in her seat, no doubt uncomfortable at the idea of being between the brewing conflict. tighnari no doubt tried to ease that predicament by withholding information. the least you could do was honour your half to keep from setting her off. 

“umm said i should try walking around more. i got permission to pace the platform if you want to join.”

the girl jumped at the chance, nearly losing her bowl in the process. laughing, you quickly took hers and set it on the desk with yours before standing to your feet. collei was at your side, urging your arm over her shoulder. it wasn’t really necessary but you’d never turn down the girl’s assistance. 

carefully the two of you ambled through the leaves shrouding your entrance. it wasn’t the first time this week that the sun warmed your skin. umm had urged you to test the distance from your bed to your porch on the second day with each visit there after. it helped tp press your limitations while keeping the joint from getting too stiff. but this was the first time you’d been able to venture far enough out to interact with more than the same two people for the last few days. 

collei remained diligent as she led you down the straight path, attention not straying from your gait as you greeted faces you haven't seen in awhile. the reception was overall positive, your health and wellbeing superseding the wraith that had hung over the encampment for the past week. it narrowed down the list of those you’d need to apologise to at least. 

“oh it’s master tighnari!”

your gaze snapped to her extended finger, noting the tall tuff of ears before anything else. his back was turned to you, a fortunate thing as you still weren’t sure how to face him just yet. he appeared to be conversing with a group, though it wasn’t the usual collection of rangers waiting for assignments. 

you recognized the garments however. 

collei groaned as she sagged under your arm. “its the akademiya again. when will they ever learn?”

likely no time soon, as the pressure from both the forest and threat of the ‘scarlet king’ followers continued to rise. the first time you witnessed the prestigious envoy attempting to recruit the fox, you’d been in awe. it was somewhat of an honour to be approached by anyone doning the gowns. next to the archon herself, they were the reigning power. however the prestige lost a light grace, when tighnari scoffed at the invitation. 

it was one of the occasions that you’d really come to appreciate more than just his vast knowledge. of course, you respected him as a leader but it was different to consider his understanding of plant life on a scholarly level. his tangents that he loved to rattle your ear with were published and very popular articles. 

he was something of a celebrity. a fact that you loved to tease just to see the tops of his cheeks grow warm at the admission. 

now, even at this distance, you could see a similar red dusting his fair skin. but not in the pleasant way that warmed your chest. 

no it seemed that an inkingly of your excursion still peaked his heart rate. and this wasn't making it any better.

that wasn’t good.

“collei, please help me.”

“huh? oh, wait! not too fast.”

tighnari grit through a tight smile, barely hanging onto his fangs to keep them from showing. at a young age his mother taught him that human could find it threatening. frankly, right now he wished to find out how much of a truth that was if it got these nuisances out of his hair. 

this was the last thing that he wished to deal with right now. the institution had taken a different route it seemed, sending students under the premise of studying under his tutelage. something he would maybe consider any other time than now. 

his foot tapped irritably as one of the bolder ones spoke his piece, spouting words of prose that meant nothing to him. they were all weak and obvlivious children wandering aimlessly. he had enough of those under his own watch. 

“master tighnari, i've read all your publications intensively and feel that i would be a valuable asset in your further research of the withering zones. i believe that together we can find a cure.”

tighnari barely resisted rolling his eyes. it was almost laughable. the withering had plagued them for centuries and they were still no closer to curbing it. no amount of research at this point was going to factor in. all they could do was contain, and that was a skill the akademiya didn’t teach.

breathing audibly through his nose, the fox attempted to remain cordial. “i appreciate your determination, however, i'm not in a position right now to allocate more rangers to facilitate your safety. the forest—”

“—i’ve also read intently on the local fauna and proper was to track warning signs of predators…”

tighnari really hated when he was interrupted. 

“i’m confident in my ability to spot danger before it becomes a problem.”

especially by know-it-alls who were overstepping in his domain.

the student continued on unware of the growing dangers, “i’ve brought a few of my manuscripts with me if you’d like to browse some of my speculations and hypotheses…”

tighnari's brow twitched as the student droned on. for someone who boasted about extensive research on understanding predators he was rather obvious to the one standing before him. the same couldn't be said about his colleagues who were carefully edging back. 

“if i could just get a few samples—”

the student had sense enough to notice as the plant scholar suddenly flinched, hand coming up to grasp the wrist of the hand threatening to touch the tip of his ear. it was the first time since opening his mouth that he’d taken into account the strained curl to the lips of the botany researcher. 

his gaze then flickered to the more relaxed, if not slightly sheepish smile of the forest ranger behind. they seemed otherwise unconcerned despite the death grip they'd been trapped in for … attempting to touch master tighnari’s ears?

the student felt a shudder wrack his body as the fox’s grimace smoothed into … something that he would one day recognize as a reckoning he’d be fortunate to survive in years to come. 

“apologies, you’ll have to excuse me. it appears one of my rangers feels well enough to venture off their bed rest and is due for some new assignments.” with that, the lead ranger looped the still trapped limb over his shoulder before assisting the injured ranger back up the canopy. 

“you can give your manuscripts to my trainee, collei.”

the green hair trainee in question waved timidly, unsure of how she got in this position but willing to help.” hello, im forest ranger trainee collei. please let me assist you safely out of the forest.”

|5|

“it’s master tighnari!”

believe it or not, forest rangers did get off days. while it was still heavily frowned on to use that time to exploit certain privileges to free roam the forest, there were other activities that some could get up to. 

some would use the opportunity to travel to the city or port for the market or to visit family.

others utilised their freedom to work on personal research. 

then there was tighnari who used the opportunity to research the local flora … via oral experimentation. 

your small project had been tossed aside in favor of darting out of your bungalow at the cry of fright from the green haired girl. it wasn’t the first time you’d witnessed tighnari taking his passion … to the next level. that time, curiosity had thrown him into a rather long slumber that he’d conveniently woken up from after a gratuitous amount of panicking on collie’s part and just in time for you to return with the rescue aid party. 

it was safe to say that was not the last occassion, and tighari had treated you both to several lunches to make up for the scares. 

but it wasn’t often that he was brought back to the village in a state. more often than not the ailments resolved in the time it took someone to find him or simply shaken off with no concern. 

it was enough to have you barreling unannounced through the head ranger’s door with apprehension. firm but fraying hands caught you as you stumbled through, righting your body before you could embarrass yourself. 

“don’t worry, tighnari is fine. it’s a harmless reaction to one of the fungi he consumed.”

umm brought her hands to a comfortable leisure behind her back as you peered over her shoulder. 

tighnari was lain out across his bed. it looked as though he had been tucked away intentionally, but the man had fought away the sheets in a fit. there was a light coat of perspiration doting his forehead and his skin had taken on a rosy flush. it hardly looked harmless. you’d never seen the lead forest watcher look so … unravelled. 

when was he going to learn to stop experimenting so freely?

umm gave a passing pat to your shoulder,“with a bit of rest he’ll be just fine.”

you had hoped as much but it eased some of your worries to see him at least home safe. though his predicament still tested your resolve. you would distract yourself for the time being concocting your own chiding speech. seriously, someone needed to hold him accountable. as it seemed, you were the only one daring enough to challenge the fox. 

heavily a relieved sigh, you turned to leave. collie would likely need a second dose of comfort now that you’d taken your own inventory of the indisposed ranger. umm, bless her soul, wasn’t a very convincing source of comfort. having collie help prepare your speech would do some good for her as well.

“wait, don’t go yet.”

you stiffed at the unexpected plea. the voice behind you sounded a bit stronger than it should be in this predicament, more like the fox you recognized. umm hadn’t left you with any instructions, but it was safe to assume he was meant to rest as not to rile up his heart rate anymore. something you were very good at doing.

you liked to think that the two of you were on agreeable terms thus far. you’d been a textbook ranger over the last few weeks. not testing the limits of your privileges or boundaries. it allowed for the two of you to have some nice conversations. though you doubted anything very articulate would come from his mouth right now. 

it was unfair, how adorable he looked with mussed hair, heavy eyes and creased clothes. umm had taken responsibility to rid him of the more decorative parts of his uniform, leaving him in a simple shirt and pants. the said shirt appeared to have been tugged open, revealing the lean muscles of his chest and abdomen. 

that was decidedly leaning away from cute, as you tore your gaze away and scolded yourself. 

“you should really lay back down, tighnari, i need you to be yourself when i deliver your scolding later.”

“tigh.”

“huh?”

you were shaken out of your stupor when he stood, concern triggering your fight reaction as you quickly huddled him back onto the bed before he fell. he allowed you to do so, however when he glanced up at you his olive eyes showed annoyance.

“i prefer when you refer to me as tigh.”

your mouth open and closed silently at the admission. you could never recall tighnari outright scolding you for the curtail of his name. you used it so sparingly, and only ever in the comfort of just yourselves or collei. 

he never really showed any emotion other than surprise the first time he’d realised what you said. you never assumed he’d catalogued the occurrences to feel any ownership over the name.

you fidgeted under the scrutinised of the fox, unsure of how to proceed from there. it was obvious that he was still mildly effective if the rose of his skin was anything to go by. but there was undeniable clarity cutting through the fog in his eyes. it was enough of a relief to have your shoulders sagging slightly. 

if it got him to comply and rest through the remainder of the effects, you could concede. 

“okay, … tigh. please stop eating flora so carelessly.”

it wasn’t your intention to start the chastising prematurely, but if he wanted you to talk, you’d do so. you weren’t sure what all of this he would recall, but you hoped the echoing nag of your voice would hover like a hangover next time he considered experimenting alone. you knew he only tested things with vague assumptions, just enough to ensure that he wouldn’t perish on sight. but it was still close enough calls for you to worry. 

you thought nothing of the way he snared your hands, too used to having them detained in pursuit of your goal. maybe another time you would be the one to catalogue just how frequently the two of you help hands. certainly enough to suffer from desensita-

your speech cut off with a choke as the fox brought one of your hands to the crown of his head. it was the closest you’d ever gotten to your prize, just a simple flex of your fingers and it would be yours. 

and he was just allowing it. 

“um, tigh…?”

you swallowed as his hold slid to your wrist, thumb caressing the inside. 

“it’s what you want, right?” unintentionally your finger flexed under the strain of resisting, just the casual brush against the ear causing the body to shudder. tighnari managed an even breath through his nose, but you suspected his heart was creating as much of a racket as yours was. “ i want you to. i don’t mind if it’s you.”

you sucked in a sharp breath at the omission.

it took strength that you didn't think you had, and stupidity you’d likely reflect on later that night as you regrettably pulled your hand away. firmly not thinking at all about the soft whine that left the fox’s lips at the action. 

your smile was wobbly, frail under the weight of emotions teetering at the edge. you gave his bicep a comforting squeeze before you urged him to lay back in bed. thankfully he didn’t put up much of a fight as you tucked him in. 

his lashes fluttered closed against the cool caress of his cheek.

“next time, promise.”

between one breath and the next, he fell asleep.

|+1|

tighnari woke to a low hanging sun and a heavy head. despite the warnings he opened his eyes, then immediately shut them. though blurry and out of sequence, the master ranger was able to piece together the majority of his last coherency. 

he’d been experimenting with the effects of the moonshade mushrooms. there had been reports of unaware travellers losing consciousness in the middle of the forest and waking in a fevered state. naturally, he’d taken it upon himself to test the outcome in order to properly assign warning labels in his next publication. 

the initial bout of slumber had been brief, broken by a wave of nausea and the sensation of his body overheating itself. he then recalled umm stripping away his uniform in order to help him cool down.

and then there was you.

he remembered the sound of your concern and the inkling of berating though he couldn't exactly call back the wording. he was sure to get an encore either way; well deserved. 

there was a gaping absence in his recollection, but the sensation of your hand settled between the space of his ears hadn’t escaped him. when had he gotten bold enough to daringly reach out like that? sure you’d done the same on multiple occasions but it had been in pursuit of a singular goal while he—

tighnari stared at the leaf drawn entrance of his chamber, face burning. 

but surely that could not have all occurred before noon. 

“oh good you’re awake. that mushroom managed to down even you for a full day. it's certainly something to be aware of.”

the elderly woman peered briefly through the cut of the door before granting herself entrance. tighnari sat obediently still as she flittered over his vital signs, ensuring his temperature and heart rate were within agreeable boundaries. 

she scribbled the notes like clockwork into the parchment on his desk. while his methods weren’t often agreed upon, umm saw the value in the repercussions. her diligence had help assist in multiple breakthroughs. tighnari would be sure to deliver a nice basket of her favourite tree sap candies once he was back in working order. 

amir would have certainly taken initiative to oversee assignments for the day. he would certainly owe collei a visit as well to assure her fears. he vaguely remembered her putting up a fuss when he’d been carried in, shortly before she’d been directed out leading to her alerting you. 

tighnari’s cheeks grew hot again. he refused to acknowledge the rising blush even as umm chuckled quietly while gathering up her kit. instead, he kept his eyes on the entrance as he pinned his sashes in place and equipped his vision. 

it wasn’t as if the two of you weren’t already rather close. it was safe to say he gave you more allowances than most. sure, your futile attempts to touch his ears could be frustrating at times, but more so because of the opportunities you took than the actual actions. 

despite popular belief, tighnari didn’t truly hold his ears in that high regard. it was more out of proprietary that he shied away from strangers acting out of curiosity. to be honest, he really wouldn’t mind too much if a ranger asked to pet them. but it seems as if their own misconceptions had fed into the unspoken rule that his fox-like features were out of the question. 

except for you. 

over time, the two of you managed to lapse into a comfortable game of cat and mouse. tighnari knew if he’d shown any true signs of anger you would have backed away from the start. but his tolerance had permitted you to try again and again. 

so what if the occasional punishments he placed on you deterred the others, it never snuffed your fire and that was all that mattered to him. 

it was only natural that over time constant exposure would ignite his own interest. he could recall with vivid memory the way it felt to have you pressed against his back that time in the forest when you attempted to claim your prize in the middle of his lecture. he’d made you wait there while he finished the lesson, all the while relishing in the heat permitted his back. 

had it been just the two of you, he would have let you. 

yet when he finally caved and gave you the permission you'd been seeking all this time, you’d backed out. 

‘next time’ you’d promised. 

“if you’re done laminating, once you've finished eating you can go find them. i  believe i saw them returning not long before i came here.”

umm didn’t wait for a response as she saw herself out, her amusement audible even as she descended the ramp to her own domain. 

tighnari didn’t rush the act as he finished his meal and the provided water. once he finished, his lips turned at the dimming sunlight. his schedule was all but thrown out the window for the day, though he doubted anyone expected him to contribute much. still it stung his consciousness as a leader to leave his subordinates hanging , even if they were all self-sufficient adults. at least the headache had disappeared with proper nourishment. there would be time to salvage his routine later.

the sun was positioned late in the afternoon, but the dim light still irritated his eyes. he blinked through the sting as he welcomed the sight of the quaint village operating adequately in his absence. 

he returned any passing waves and gave brief responses to their questions. for the most part everyone seemed confident that he’d make a full recovery, though he still harboured the guilt of worrying them. 

brow pinched, he waved nasrin closer. “have you seen collei?”

the purse of her mouth didn’t spell anything good. tighnari hoped her illness had not acted up in his absence. “she had trouble sleeping last night so someone swapped patrols with her. she just set off not too long ago.”

the girl sometimes had trouble sleeping when plagued with anxiousness. tighnari settled that he would confront her upon her return, for now he had one more stop. he had a feeling he knew who offered to adjust their schedule to accommodate the girl.

he found your bungalow with practised ease, delivering a single knock before you offered entrance. he found you seated at your desk, no doubt detailing the report of your finding before submission. it was a relief to see that you took a break from your typical mischievousness to conduct a seemingly uniform patrol while he was indisposed. 

“i don't suppose you came across any new interesting flora on your patrols?”

tighnari watched as your shoulders stiffened at the unexpected sound of his voice. your head whipped around, eyes assessing him carefully before you gave a timid, relieved smile. 

“i think we can all agree that you’ve had enough adventures for one week,” you noted with light scolding. 

grinning, tighnari cared little if his fangs showed, knowing you wouldn't find them threatening. your gaze followed him as he secured the leaves behind him before approaching your desk. he leaned comfortably against the wooden structure as he browsed the report. it had been routine indeed, not a single withering sighting. 

“are you sure you’re alright? you had me worried for a bit.”

tighnari’s brow rose,” only a bit?”

scoffing, you rolled your eyes,” it’s not the worst thing you’ve eaten but seeing you down for so long was concerning. collei will be relieved to see you back on your feet.”

tighnari braceed his palm against the dest and leaned into the posture,“and you?”

“i owe you a scolding. you always get onto me about being aware and careful of my surroundings. yet here you go testing unknown fungi alone in the forest. at least bring it back before you test it out so we can be there if you need us.”

tighnari waited for you to finish, eyes shining with thinly veiled amusement. you seemed to recognize it as well, huffing as you realised your scolding didn't have as much weight as the seasoned scholar. 

unable to resist, the fox reached out to run is fingers along the side of your face before letting them rest against your shoulder. he watched as your chest expanded to take in the small gasp of surprise. it was a rare moment for him to initiate contact like this, especially given the recent occurrence only yesterday. while his recollection was misty, yours was clear as day. 

“i think you owe me something else too.”

tighnari watched your reactions carefully, from the flutter of your lashes to the rapid thrum of your heart beat against the pulse under your jaw. he never shied away from a discovery the promise of a satisfying understanding driving him from one revelation to the next. 

admittedly, you’d been a gradual observation. the question at the tip of the scale all this time while he’d unknowingly researched you thoroughly with each new interaction. day and day again, you prompted him with new variables both under his control and not. it was only today that he managed to form a working hypothesis. a hesitant theory that he knew would shift everything.

tighnari watched with growing fascination as the initial shock meddling into purposefulness as your hand came into view. impatient, he couldn't resist ducking his hand to meet you halfway. the first careful touch was equally inquisitive and hesitant. each time in the past, your hand had darted out with such certainty. yet now with it all willing at your fingertips, you allowed yourself the time to explore.

he hadn’t realised his head had come to rest against your collar bone until he felt the rumbled of your laughter. you didn’t simply just touch his ears, you caressed the length form the widest part to the tip. your fingertips tickled the tufts of fluff at the base. and the light scratched you delivered against the firm cartilage had him all but melting into your hold. the burst of new stimuli tickled his nerves and left pleasant sensations.

later he would analyse the data but he was already certain about his conclusion. 

your words mussed the top of his head as you spoke, humour bleeding into your intrigue. “can’t believe it took you a year to crack, tigh.”

tighnari sagged further at the uttering of the name. you flinched, not expecting the words of response to be mumbled into your skin. gratefully, it didn't cause you to pause.

“what was that?”

your touch slid from his ears to the curve of his jaw as his head rose to meet your gaze. 

“i actually had two hypotheses I wanted to test.”

though he didn't speak more than that, he could tell you were well aware of the implications. your lips parted to respond, but no words could pass the lump in your throat. tighnari tested the waters, leaning closer enough to brush the tup of his nose against yours. when you didn't pull away, he leaned down and pressed your lips together, firmly but briefly. as he breathed in deeply,  the smell of lush forestry, sweet flora and you invaded his scenes. the scent of familiarity minding with the aroma of what he called home was intoxicating. 

your eyes shone bright with mischief as tighnari pulled away, no doubt observing the rosy hue spreading across his face. 

“i think we need to experiment a little more before we can come to a confident conclusion.”

tighnari leaned back in and nuzzled you affectionately. 

“i agree.’’

tagging upon request: @lott-the-otter @uhohitsemmy

#tighnari genshin #tighnari x reader #genshin impact imagine #tighnari imagine #genshin impact x reader

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Validate Yourself & Stop People Pleasing

A comprehensive guide to learn love & trust yourself and break out of your people-pleasing identity. Hope this helps xx

HOW TO MASTER THE ART OF SELF-VALIDATION:

Remember the longest relationship you have in life is the one with yourself. While we all need an external support system to be well-rounded & healthy individuals, no one else will be with you throughout your entire life except for you. So, acting as your own best friend is the secret to living your happiest and most fulfilling life. You ultimately need to do what's best for you. Otherwise, you're damaging the only relationship you will have to confront in every aspect and stage of your life.

Acknowledge your humanity and fundamental right to have needs, goals, and personal desires. Validate your personhood and individuality. Remember you're only human and are bound to have your own physical/emotional limitations and preferences. If you would be willing to cater to others' schedules, boundaries, and limitations, give yourself this equal level of respect and expect others to do the same.

Know everyone is self-centered to a certain degree. No one cares about your happiness as much or is watching you as closely as you are. They all have themselves and their lives to worry about. People are paying attention to their own self-interests (or want you to accomplish things to boost their own credibility or self-esteem). Being your greatest personal cheerleader is the only way to fully give yourself the praise and spotlight you deserve for your accomplishments.

Self-confidence is magnetic. It is the secret to showing up as your best self in all areas of life. Being secure in yourself makes you a better friend, family member, lover, partner, spouse, professional, conversationalist, etc. Validating yourself will make you feel good, but also radiates into every relationship or interaction in your life.

Discover what you love about yourself. Reflect on the personality traits, skillsets, and behaviors you know to be admirable about yourself. Are you constantly making others laugh? Do you get endless praise for your cooking, drawing, singing, or problem-solving skills? Would people come to you first to manage a crisis like a champion? Are you a master disciplinarian when it comes to going to the gym or reading? Do people regularly compliment your outfits or nails? Think of all of the aspects of your being that make you unique and help you to feel content with your existing, authentic self.

Take control of your life to cultivate your ideal self. While you should consistently praise your naturally admirable qualities, remember that you always can change aspects of your life that will help you feel like your best self. Know that you're in control of your decisions and have the mental freedom to think & act in any way you desire to reach any goals or implement lifestyle changes to feel like the person you feel destined to be.

Block out the noise and negative self-talk. We're (almost always!) our worst critics. Consider every new experience or interaction as a learning opportunity. Mistakes and failures are life lessons that facilitate self-reflection and opportunities for growth. Remember not to beat yourself up for past mistakes: You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. If you weren't embarrassed by your past self, you never gave yourself the chance to evolve and grow. Every success, failure, and new life stage offers its own lessons and teachable moments. Remember that we're all our own unique life paths. Comparing your life to someone else's is like comparing apples and oranges. Both entities may be fruitful but have vastly different flavor profiles, growing seasons, and rates at which they ripen. As Dita Von Tesse shrewdly said: "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will always be someone who hates peaches."

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE PLEASING:

Acknowledge that people-pleasing is a form of self-neglect. By prioritizing another person's desires or approval above your own, you're ultimately neglecting your physical, emotional, energetic, or spiritual needs. Consider acting in your best in your own best interest as an act of self-care that safeguards your well-being.

Set boundaries. State your limitations, calmly, clearly, and directly. Understand that boundaries are your response to other people's actions, not a means to control other people's behavior. An expectation would be to ask someone not to call you during the workday. A boundary is stating that you will not pick up the phone during the workday and will only make/return calls in the evening after leaving the office.

Communicate your needs & expectations clearly. While you can't control what others will do, being upfront with your needs and expectations can eliminate unnecessary stress, logistical issues, misplaced hurt feelings, or disappointment in any type of relationship. Direct communication between parties will allow you both to respect each other's boundaries and to prioritize interactions that are mutually more positive, helpful, and emotionally nourishing.

Express your "no" freely (and without over-explaining). Remember that "No" is a complete sentence. You do not owe someone your time or emotional energy simply because they asked or expect you to do something/attend an event out of perceived obligation/guilt or simply to make someone else happy. Making sure you're okay is your first priority. Feel free to say "no" to any requests that would emotionally drain you, make you overextend yourself, or compromise any of your personal values/goals/priorities. You don't need to justify your needs. Just kindly decline, and let it be.

Remain consistent with your boundaries & priorities. People will treat you how you let them treat you. Once you set a boundary or share your priorities will someone, stick to these words through your actions to show you're serious about how you expect to be treated. Teach people how to interact with you in a way that doesn't feel self-sacrificing. No one will respect your boundaries and priorities if you don't and are easily swayed to forgo these self-imposed standards on a day-to-day or case-by-case basis.

Consider the long-term consequences of people-pleasing. While it may appease immediate conflict or anxiety, people-pleasing offers a one-way ticket to resentment and misplaced anger. By ignoring our own needs for the sake of others, we place unspoken expectations on these individuals' obligations to reciprocate our emotional labor – whether it be with their future actions or matching our generosity with unprompted favors or emotional support. We start keeping score as we continuously give ourselves over to others of perceived obligation. When someone doesn't return the favor, we get upset, despite never expressing this expectation of someone else or that we're even self-sacrificing in any way. This can lead to us feeling depleted or guilt-tripping others, and from their perspective, seemingly out of nowhere. It is best to remember we always have a choice whether to give to others and it should be of a genuine desire, love, or support for the other person – not as a way to gain external validation or manipulate a situation to create a false sense of obligation that we keep ourselves or the receiving party beholden to. Think of your energy, time, and personal resources given to others as a gift, not a bargaining chip.

#self love #self worth #self healing #healing journey #mirror work #higher self #self confidence #self care #inner child #inner work #self esteem #it girl #self help #femme fatale #dark femininity #dark feminine energy #queen energy #high value mindset #high value woman #the feminine urge #dream girl #female excellence #female power #success mindset #femmefatalevibe #emotional validation #glow up #boundaries #people pleaser #glow up era

[queenofcoquette]

study like elle woods

introduction:

elle woods is one of my favorite inspirations for studying. she's stylish, confident, feminine and smart all rolled into one. plus she doesn't change for anyone- when she sets her mind to a goal she's determined and pushes herself.

@ichorsuns <3

in class:

find motivation. elle had a clear goal, she wanted to go to harvard. and when she had that goal that was what she focused on and put her energy towards. to be motivated you need to know WHY you're working so hard and what you're trying to achieve.

take cute notes. not even sure if this is really an elle thin but just make note taking fun! make it look cute

dress up. ofc u don't have to dress up super fancy for class but ik that personally i enjoy wearing cute clothes and doing my hair for school. it's just fun :)

studying:

make cute flashcards. flashcards are really effective for studying, and also they're kinda fun to make.

review with a highlighter. get a pink highlighter to go over what you need to review. idk its just a cute color.

put studying into your routine. even if you have to switch locations up or study while working out, just make sure that you get time to study a little everyday.

overall mindset:

stay focused on your goals. when elle decided she wanted to go to harvard she was serious about it. she spent months studying for law school admission test!

study a little everyday. like i said earlier, spend about 15-20 minutes (whatever works for you) to review what you learned in class everyday. even if you don't have an upcoming test or quiz it's always good to do regula studying.

make meaningful conections. the best way to get information into your long term memory is connecting what your studying into your own life. i know that in the courtroom elle uses her knowledge of perm maintenance.

ignoring what people say. so many ppl thought elle was dumb and in my own life fake friends from my old school laughed & made jokes when they found out i'd gotten into ap chem at my current school. it's so easy to feed into this negativity and get caught up on other people think about you, but put your energy towards what is productive and healthy. you don't need to prove yourself to anyone because ultimately there will be people who doubt you no matter what you do.

conclusion:

overall you just need to have a goal and be determined to be like elle, while also staying true to who you are. embarrasment and failure is always on the path to success- so keep your head up and keep working hard even when things go against you. :)

#elle woods #legally blonde #that girl #that girl 2023 #coquette #it girl #healthy habits #studyblr #study motivation #study aesthetic #self improvement #queenofcoquette

[howtofightwrite]

I love picking at plot holes like scabs so i want my fight scenes to be as realistic as possible. However. There’s a creature in my head that says a buster sword is SICK AS HELL. What modifications would it need to be even remotely wieldable while still keeping its central appeal (huge sword big blade cool and sexy) intact?

You’ve made a mistake. You mistook suspension of disbelief for realism. This is a common problem that gets in the way of a lot of fantasy and sci-fi authors. So, don’t worry. It isn’t just you. However, realism vs believability is where your hangup is. Stories don’t need to be realistic to be believable.

The quick and dirty (and possibly unhelpful) answer is to create a world that justifies your buster sword, not a buster sword that’s trying to justify itself in a world that doesn’t want it. You step back from the sword itself and away from a world where reality dictates that it’s too heavy, too clumsy, too slow, and ask yourself: “in what type of world does this thing make sense?” And there’s about a billion different ways to create that.

The hangup with the realistic argument is that all of fiction is a lie. Good or bad, that’s what stories are. They can be very compelling, addicting, manipulative, feel incredibly good, and still be fake. The goal of a creator isn’t just to create stories that are believable, but for your audience to want to believe in them. Storytelling is always a joint venture between you and your reader. You are the salesperson asking your audience to come along for the ride. To keep their attention, you’ve got to spin up a good yarn. Build trust. The world has to feel right, but it doesn’t have to be right. Reasonable, not right. The goal is to take a cool idea and work backwards to how your society got here so that when seen from an outside perspective, the choice ultimately looks like a reasonable conclusion given the surrounding context. One of the better ways to build your reasonable conclusions is by studying the history of technological invention from the beginning to the midpoint rather than starting with the end point—the results.

History is full of weird, wacky, wild attempts and failures at creation. You’re not the first person to look at a human sized sword and wonder if it could, in fact, hit good. Or, really, better than swords that currently exist. Or, fulfill a battlefield role the sword was currently not occupying. Or, as we like to say, have real battlefield applications. The Claymore, the Zwhihander, the Zhanmadao are all real weapons that saw real, if not necessarily extensive, use. Like all weapons, they were specialized tools meant for particular battlefield uses. In this case, mainly as anti-cavalry support.

Ask yourself, why? Not just, why would I want it? Ask, why would I use it?

What actual purpose does the big cool blade serve beyond looking big and cool? What function does it fill on the battlefield? Why use the big cool blade instead of other weapons? What does it do better? What are some offsets which might account for the massive size? Technology? Superhuman enhancements, mystical or otherwise? Gravitic fields? Magic? Why is the big cool blade better suited to ensuring a character’s survival? What advantages does it provide? What is its practical value to warriors within your setting?

The initial defensive reaction is that we don’t need a reason because we have the Rule of Cool. That could be the reason, but I challenge you to go deeper. Go deeper than, “this was the weapon my character was trained to use.” The followup question is: why were they trained to use it?

In the real world, we can answer these questions both from a personal and from a larger social perspective. We may not be able to answer whether we’d use a gun, but we understand why humanity developed guns, why we use guns, and the purpose they serve both for personal protection and in their military applications. The answers don’t necessarily need to be good or smart. What matters is that an answer exists to feed your audience. When your reader starts struggling to believe, they begin to ask questions, they pick at the fabric of the narrative trying to figure out why their mind has rejected the story they were previously enjoying. What we, the writer, want to create is a chain of logic underpinning the narrative and its world. This way, when questions are asked, a reasonable answer is ready and waiting. While we won’t win over everyone, trust that your audience wants to believe. Trust that they’re smart enough to figure it out without being spoon fed. That way, you won’t fall into the trap of infodumping.

Worldbuilding always involves a lot more happening under the surface than ever makes it onto the page. Your characters will be the ones to demonstrate and act on the internal logic that’s been created for them without needing a billion questions to lead us from Point A to Point B.

If we look at human history in a wide view, we find that weapons are a fairly steady march forward that matches a civilization’s technological growth. We keep what works and discards what doesn’t. The crossbow replaced the bow as the main form of artillery in martial combat, but we still kept the bow. The bow still had practical applications. Guns eventually replaced the crossbow just like they replaced the sword, but it actually took a very long time. We had functional firearms in the Middle Ages.

Ease of Use

Ease of Training

Lethality

From a military standpoint, these are the three most important aspects for widespread adoption of any weapon. Easy to use. Easy to train. Lethal. The longer it takes to train a soldier on a weapon the more time your army is losing out on using that soldier and the more effective the weapon needs to be in order to justify its expense. Why give your soldier a big cool sword if they’ll never get close enough to reach the forward line to make the assault? Why have them use the big cool sword if operating the laser cannon is more efficient, effective, and keeps them alive longer? In the coldness of battlefield calculus, it’s often better to have cheap, efficient units rather than more expensive ones that might be more lethal but take longer to produce. No matter how good they are, you’re eventually going to lose them. Therefore, easy replaceability becomes a factor.

If you can answer those questions (and the myriad of other similar ones) you won’t just have a weapon, you’ll have a world. You’ll have more than a justification, you’ll have battlefield strategy, tactics, and a greater understanding of how the average layman characters in your setting beyond your main character approach warfare and possibly a technological history. You might even have several functional armies.

Ultimately, this is a game of value versus cost. Most settings that use big cool swords sacrifice ease of use and ease of training to amp up lethality. The weapon having a specialized function or only being usable by a specialized unit helps if that unit’s battlefield effectiveness is justified. Or, you could just have a weird technological outlier where its effectiveness doesn’t quite justify its cost even if the individual warrior is effective. A good example of this is in shounen anime where one character has a specialty that no one else has, a really cool, effective weapon that never appears anywhere else, because the length of training, high skill floor, and finicky nature of its use make it difficult to justify widespread adoption.

The danger is assuming there’s a right answer. There isn’t one. The value in learning the rules of real world violence is so you can break them. This way you can tell the difference between the vital rules necessary for suspending disbelief and don’t accidentally break the ones you needed to keep your audience invested.

-Michi

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #michi answers #how to fight write

[communistkenobi]

If we want to talk about “failed men” the correct group to talk about are incels - self-identified failed men whose criteria for failure is not gaining access to cis-heterosexual sexual relationships with women. the political goals of these failed men are fundamentally misogynistic and femicidal, because while they identify with failure through phrenological measurements (they are too “naturally ugly” to be found attractive by women), they place the blame on the lack of their sexual conquest on women themselves - the ultimate social failure of women is to live in a context where they can deny sexual access to any man for any reason, including “uncontrollable” ones like “being ugly.” this is what the category of “failed man” produces, not fucking transmisogyny

#genuinely you people disgust me

[necroromantics]

How To Write ASPD / Psychopathy

half educational, half ramble. dedicated to the creepypasta fandom.

(check out my how-to-write bipolar + ticci toby here)

What is ASPD?

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) is characterized by a disregard for others rights and feelings. It's a personality disorder, which means the mindsets and behaviours associated with this condition are deeply ingrained and maladaptive.

The current DSM-5 diagnostic criteria states that to be diagnosed with ASPD, a patient needs to have a long-term (occurring since at least age 15), consistent, and persistent history of three or more of the following:

failure to conform to social norms; repeatedly breaking rules/laws that may be grounds for arrest

deceitfulness; lying, tricking others for personal gain

impulsivity or a failure to plan ahead

irritability and aggression; fighting, hostility, outbursts

reckless disregard for the safety of self or others

irresponsibility; repeated failure to comply to work or financial obligations

lack of remorse; being indifferent to or rationalizing having mistreated or hurt others

ASPD, by definition, can only be diagnosed in people who are 18+. Minors cannot have ASPD due to treatment and intervention reasons. A minor who exhibits traits of ASPD will be diagnosed with Conduct Disorder.

At it's core, though it may seem like people with ASPD are just hostile and insensitive and rude, is a defense mechanism formed in childhood, typically in response to an abusive environment. Self-preservation and a "dog eat dog world" mindset are very common in those with ASPD. Everything is about doing what it takes to retain social dominance, control, and ultimately safety. Boredom and risk-taking is also very common in people with ASPD, and many people with this condition have never had proper, healthy influences in childhood to teach them proper manners, social norms, morals, or how to regulate their emotions and aggression.

It is a chronic condition that affects about 1-3% of the population. Its very prevalent in the prison population as well. ASPD not only causes a person to potentially cause harm to others, but is a condition that very negatively impacts the patients themselves.

(Note: The term "sociopathy" is typically used to refer to an extreme presentation of ASPD. "Psychopathy" may sometimes be seem as a very very extreme presentation of ASPD)

What is Psychopathy?

Psychopathy refers to a set of traits/issues that might be seen in patients. It is NOT a diagnosis. If psychopathic traits cause dysfunctional behaviour in an individual, they will most likely be diagnosed with ASPD.

Psychopathy is now most commonly used in research settings to use it as a term that describes certain patterns and behaviours. It is something professionals study, not diagnose.

The traits related to psychopathy are:

manipulative behaviour; superficial charm, persistent lying, deceiving others

grandiose sense of self

lack of remorse or guilt; lack of empathy, callousness, shallow emotional expressions

reckless lifestyle; need for stimulation, parasitic (constantly takes from others), lack of realistic long-term goals, impulsivity

antisocial behaviour; poor behavioural control, early behavioural problems, trouble with the law in youth

Not all psychopathic people fit the criteria for ASPD, not all are disordered by their traits, and not all people with ASPD are considered psychopathic. But there is a very big overlap.

Psychopathy is typically only recognized in a forensic or research setting. It is often wrongfully used in the media to describe people who are serial killers, abusive, or used to dehumanize others.

Personally, I believe that media and creators need to move away from the terms psychopath/sociopath. They have far too much negative connotation that only exists to demonize people who suffer with unconventional traits. If you want to write psychopathy correctly, do your research on what it looks like in its presentation, and just drop the label.

What are some harmful tropes with ASPD/Psychopathy in media?

ASPD and Psychopathy have been tossed around in many different settings as ways to cheaply create an evil villain, or a cold calculated monster, or a reckless criminal. There has been only one instance in my lifetime of watching hundreds of movies and shows that I have seen an accurate, humanizing portrayal of ASPD. (That show is House MD by the way, I highly recommend if you want to see good representation).

So what are some of the tropes to acknowledge and avoid?

1. Psychopathic serial killer

Have you seen American Psycho? Great movie. Don't do that. While the character Patrick Bateman is commonly associated with the terms "narcissist" and "psychopath", he also is a satirical character who is a very dramatized and exaggerated presentation of some psychopathic traits.

I will be honest. A lot of real-life serial killers do suffer from various mental health conditions, but correlation is not causation. In the Creepypasta fandom we are surrounded by different characters who are almost all serial killers, and people like to make things easy and just throw the label of "psychopath" onto them and call it realistic. This is very cheap, and very harmful.

If you want to write a psychopathic serial killer character, then acknowledge how harmful, fear-mongering, and dehumanizing this trope is towards people who actually suffer from these traits.

2. ASPD synonymous with abusive behaviour

ASPD is a disorder that does cause people to do and say things that will harm others in some way. Cluster B personality disorders are commonly seen as 'social disorders', as in they cause dis-order in interpersonal relationships, and in response to society. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) for example may cause somebody to threaten harm to themselves in response to percieved abandonment, or to have intense fights due to emotional dysregulation.

ASPD in particular may cause someone to be insensitive towards others problems, lack morality, be aggressive or hostile, put others down, or get into reckless situations. This is why they are disorders. Because they cause significant and serious problems in the persons life.

It is not pretty, and it's not fair, and yes, people with disorders may cause harm to others due to behaviours associated with their condition. But there is a difference between causing harm, and abusing another person.

Lying to someone is not inherently abusive. Being reckless is not inherently abusive. Being an insensitive asshole is not inherently abusive. To not understand the nuance and the complexity of these situations is to completely demonize and stigmatize a serious mental health condition. You don't call people with BPD abusive for their actions inherently, because you acknowledge they are hurting and only doing what they know to cope with this hurt. Of course it's unhealthy. That's what a disorder is. That does not make someone abusive by default. Anyone with any condition, even neurotypical people can be abusive.

3. Cold, emotionless robot

People with ASPD can and do feel emotion. People with psychopathic traits can and do feel emotion. They get sad, disappointed, disgusted, happy, excited, jealous, hurt, angry. There is nothing in the ASPD criteria that states anything about emotional presentation or experience.

In psychopathy, it is mentioned that there may be a shallow emotional expression. This may also be present in ASPD. This means that while a person will feel emotions, it is either beat down or brushed off, or completely repressed. The emotional repression may come from childhood abuse where they were punished for expressing emotions, or expressing emotions had caused them harm.

Lacking emotions/emotional expression is instead highly linked to Schizoid Personality Disorder, and is apart of the criteria for said disorder.

Media protraying people with ASPD/psychopathy as cold, emotionless, calculating robots is another trope used to dehumanize people with mental health issues. It's used to make people with ASPD seem evil or not having feelings that could be hurt. In reality, nearly everything a person with ASPD does, is their dysfunctional way of protecting themselves from being hurt.

People with ASPD may lack the emotional capacity for things such as empathy and remorse, though. Its common that they are unable to care for, or feel upset for others suffering. They may also be unable to feel guilt. This criteria is seen in about 51% of people with ASPD and is associated with more extreme presentations.

Do you headcanon anyone to have ASPD?

Yes, but I don't like to use the label on them. I do write a lot of antisocial mindsets into my headcanons for Ticci Toby, and I heavily write ASPD into my OC, Tobin.

For Toby, his presentation of ASPD comes in the form of rebellion, not understanding/following social norms, recklessness, and a strong desire for power, dominance, and control. I write this as his subconscious response to the trauma he faced in childhood. As a child Toby was constantly put down and made to feel small and powerless at the hands of his father. In order to make sure his father abused only him and not his mother and sister, Toby would act out and be a troublemaker. I think that he would have a lot of ASPD behaviours and views on the world.

For my OC Tobin, he's pretty similar in presentation in regards to power/control, and not following social norms. He is very prone to justifying and rationalizing his behaviours to the point he doesn't feel remorse for the harm he causes. Tobin grew up in a very unstable and abusive environment where, like Toby, he did what he needed to do to get by. He never learned proper morals, norms, regulation, etc. But Tobin does care about others. He takes care of his little sister, and loves his girlfriend, and is very protective. Tobin is still a complex human being with more to him than just being an antisocial insensitive prick.

How can I write a character with ASPD?

Do proper research. Not on Reddit, or Quora, or WebMD. I mean go find trusted, scholarly articles and read real scientific papers and studies on ASPD. Do research into how/why it forms, the mindsets, the symptoms and their presentation, the neuroscience even.

Humanize your characters. While it's fun to throw around a bunch of negative and toxic traits to a character you want people to see as 'bad', it's lazy character development. Give them good, positive traits as well. People are very complex, and nobody will fit in to the mold of good or bad. Make them human enough where someone wont look at your character with ASPD and assume everyone with ASPD are monsters.

But also, don't water down the disorder. ASPD does cause harm to the patient and the people in their life. I've seen it a lot where people will try to fight against stigmatization by completely glamorizing the disorder. "People with ASPD aren't inherently bad! They don't actually hurt others or act hostile or say insensitive things"... Yes we do. And it causes many problems. And that is why its a disorder.

Personally I don't like to throw the ASPD label onto my characters even if I do write them to have ASPD because I feel like it just boxes them in. If you write a character with ASPD, try doing it in a way where a professional would be able to tell they have ASPD without you even mentioning the label.

Remember that ASPD is COMPLEX. It varies vastly in its presentation, its a disorder that is life-consuming and the dysfunctional beliefs and behavioural patterns are deeply ingrained and consistent throughout many different areas in someones life. It's a label to describe preexisting issues. It's something that is highly associated with childhood trauma, and drug addiction, and general suffering for the person dealing with their own chaotic mind.

The biggest problem I see that frustrates me is the way people throw around the terms "psychopath" and "sociopath", especially when someone just wants to add a layer of edginess onto their character. Remember that you are dealing with a condition that real people suffer from every day. If you can't handle it respectfully, and if you would demonize someone with ASPD in real life for acting as your character does, just don't write it in. Keep the label separate. We don't need any more stigmatization and misinformation.

I know this was very long, but it's such a multifaceted and complex issue and I've seen it enough times in the fandom to be frustrated enough to write this. If you have any questions, want more advice or information, please feel free to ask away in my ask box 🔥

#tombtalk #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby #clockwork #ticci toby headcanons #creepypasta ticci toby #jeff the killer #creepypasta jeff the killer #eyeless jack #creepypasta art #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta oc #creepypasta fanfiction #aspd #antisocial personality disorder #cluster b #writeblr

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this Op-Ed from the New York Times:

At first glance, Xi Jinping seems to have lost the plot.

China’s president appears to be smothering the entrepreneurial dynamism that allowed his country to crawl out of poverty and become the factory of the world. He has brushed aside Deng Xiaoping’s maxim “To get rich is glorious” in favor of centralized planning and Communist-sounding slogans like “ecological civilization” and “new, quality productive forces,” which have prompted predictions of the end of China’s economic miracle.

But Mr. Xi is, in fact, making a decades-long bet that China can dominate the global transition to green energy, with his one-party state acting as the driving force in a way that free markets cannot or will not. His ultimate goal is not just to address one of humanity’s most urgent problems — climate change — but also to position China as the global savior in the process.

It has already begun. In recent years, the transition away from fossil fuels has become Mr. Xi’s mantra and the common thread in China’s industrial policies. It’s yielding results: China is now the world’s leading manufacturer of climate-friendly technologies, such as solar panels, batteries and electric vehicles. Last year the energy transition was China’s single biggest driver of overall investment and economic growth, making it the first large economy to achieve that.

This raises an important question for the United States and all of humanity: Is Mr. Xi right? Is a state-directed system like China’s better positioned to solve a generational crisis like climate change, or is a decentralized market approach — i.e., the American way — the answer?

How this plays out could have serious implications for American power and influence.

Look at what happened in the early 20th century, when fascism posed a global threat. America entered the fight late, but with its industrial power — the arsenal of democracy — it emerged on top. Whoever unlocks the door inherits the kingdom, and the United States set about building a new architecture of trade and international relations. The era of American dominance began.

Climate change is, similarly, a global problem, one that threatens our species and the world’s biodiversity. Where do Brazil, Pakistan, Indonesia and other large developing nations that are already grappling with the effects of climate change find their solutions? It will be in technologies that offer an affordable path to decarbonization, and so far, it’s China that is providing most of the solar panels, electric cars and more. China’s exports, increasingly led by green technology, are booming, and much of the growth involves exports to developing countries.

From the American neoliberal economic viewpoint, a state-led push like this might seem illegitimate or even unfair. The state, with its subsidies and political directives, is making decisions that are better left to the markets, the thinking goes.

But China’s leaders have their own calculations, which prioritize stability decades from now over shareholder returns today. Chinese history is littered with dynasties that fell because of famines, floods or failures to adapt to new realities. The Chinese Communist Party’s centrally planned system values constant struggle for its own sake, and today’s struggle is against climate change. China received a frightening reminder of this in 2022, when vast areas of the country baked for weeks under a record heat wave that dried up rivers, withered crops and was blamed for several heatstroke deaths.

#China #climate change #renewable energy

[dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition]

sixty-nine more questions for your ttrpg characters!

(i originally made one of these on a defunct sideblog; i thought it was about time i made a new one! send an oc’s name and a number, go wild!)

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1. what drives them? what’s their ultimate goal?

2. what was your original concept for this character? how did playing them change that concept?

3. can they accept failure?

4. what one person, place, or thing do they love more than anything else?

5. is there something they want to be known for?

6. how have they changed in the last year? how about the last five years?

7. there’s a magic item (or technological innovation, or special resource) made just for them—what is it?

8. what songs remind you of them? if there are specific lyrics or movements, list ‘em!

9. when in their life were they most scared?

10. what inspired this character’s creation?

11. if they have a pet or animal companion, how do they spend time with them? if they don’t have one, what sort of animal would they be interested in raising, if any?

12. how have they altered their body? piercings, tattoos, biohacks, or other modifications—anything. why (or why not) did they (or someone else) make those changes?

13. what are some motifs you associate with them? did you intentionally bring in those motifs, or did it happen over time?

14. what keeps them up at night?

15. is there something that never fails to make them laugh?

16. do they value their appearance?

17. they’re crying—what did it take to make them cry?

18. what dish brings back the best memories for them?

19. what sparks genuine, unadulterated rage in them?

20. what attracts them to someone—platonically and/or romantically, anything counts.

21. do they have an idea about how they’ll die? do you?

22. how would they decorate their living space, if they had a chance?

23. in what moment did they consider themselves to be “grown up”?

24. are they close to any family members?

25. who is their best friend?

26. what type of person pisses them off?

27. how do they usually dress? why do they dress the way they do?

28. do they collect anything?

29. what feelings do they internalize?

30. how do they handle confrontation?

31. do they respond well to praise? how about criticism?

32. which of your decisions led to their voice being the way it is?

33. what artistic medium are they most drawn to?

34. what languages do they speak? how did they learn them?

35. when did they feel loneliest?

36. how do they fidget?

37. if they’ve had one, what was their first kiss like?

38. do they see themselves as an important part of their party?

39. are they insecure about their appearance? how about their personality? what aspects specifically worry them?

40. if you had to remake this character right now, how would you change them?’

41. how do you keep notes for this character, if at all?

42. can they dance?

43. how much do they know about the world they live in?

44. what lies do they tell others?

45. what lies do they tell themselves?

46. have they taught themselves any skills just for fun?

47. what could they talk about for hours on end?

48. do they relate to anyone in their group? conversely, which person do they relate to the least?

49. how often do they cut their hair, if at all?

50. do they have a go-to beverage, alcoholic or nonalcoholic?

51. what element of their backstory are you proudest of?

52. how would they dress themselves up for a formal event?

53. do they keep their plans close to their chest?

54. how important is money in their life? do they save up for ages, or spend quickly?

55. they’re seeing their greatest wish come true—what’s happening?

56. who would they trust with their life, unequivocally?

57. do they see value in the laws of where they live?

58. how often do they swear? do they mind when others swear?

59. what’s an element of their philosophy that you disagree with?

60. what do they have faith in? what keeps them believing?

61. is there an in-game moment of theirs you think about and just laugh?

62. do they believe in good and evil?

63. what’s a meme or tiktok or vine (or whatever) that you associate with them?

64. how would a party member describe them?

65. what would their go-to karaoke song be?

66. which fruit do they like most?

67. do they consider themselves to be special?

68. where’s their home?

69. what’s one secret they don’t want getting out?

#ttrpg #dnd character #oc ask meme #ask game #oc #you can also ofc send questions abt my guys :D #pcs npcs idc #pc names: anthe | nobody | eirlys | keeper | sylvia | aelwyd | stray #among others

[elicathebunny]

🏹𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄.

🖤 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒:

𝑰. 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰𝑺 𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑭-𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑰𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬?

𝑰𝑰. 𝑾𝑯𝒀 𝑫𝑶 𝑾𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑰𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬?

𝑰𝑰𝑰. 𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑫𝑶 𝑾𝑬 𝑩𝑬𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑭-𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑰𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑫?

𝑰𝑽. 𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑻𝑶 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝒀 𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑰𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑫.

🖤 𝐈. 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄?

Self-discipline: the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses.

e.g. waking up early, making your bed every day, working out consistently, being on time, etc...

🖤 𝐈𝐈. 𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐃𝐎 𝐖𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄?

Unclear Goals

Motivation Issues

Fear of Failure

Distractions

Instant Gratification

Perfectionism

Burnout

Lack of Accountability

External Validation

Inconsistent Habits

Impulsive Behavior

🖤𝑰𝑰𝑰. 𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑫𝑶 𝑾𝑬 𝑩𝑬𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑭-𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑰𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑫?

Set smart goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound

Start small and build up over time: "For example, if your ultimate goal is to run five miles without stopping, set an initial goal of running a quarter mile without stopping." This helps with burnout and gets you used to doing difficult things by starting relatively easily.

The 5-second rule: When you have a thought or feeling, act within 5 seconds before your brain starts rationalising and talking you out.

Create a routine: Set up a daily schedule that aligns with your goals. Having a routine helps build consistency, making it easier to stay disciplined over time.

Embrace Failure: Don't fear mistakes. Instead, view them as valuable learning experiences. Analyse what went wrong, adjust your approach and move forward stronger. Don't beat yourself up for bad days, use those days as a reference for what you can do better and what not to repeat again. Don't give up after a few tries, keep going and fall in love with the process.

Minimise Distractions: Identify activities or environments that distract you. Minimising these distractions creates a focused space for you to work on your goals and reduces procrastination.

Make your goals visible: Make a vision board out of them, make them your wallpaper, stick them on your fridge, blue tack them to your walls, put pictures around your mirror and write them down in a place where you can clearly see them to remind yourself constantly of what you want.

Prioritise Tasks: Learn to prioritise tasks based on their importance and impact on your goals. This helps you allocate your time and energy efficiently.

Pushing through: Sometimes we don't like or want to do the things that are good for us. In these situations, you honestly have to choose between getting closer to your goal or staying where you are now. Imagine yourself in the next 6 months if you stay consistent, or are you going to just keep dreaming and waste another year?

Knowing your limits: Knowing how far you need to push yourself and when to stop is necessary. You don't want to overdo this process. Giving yourself goals that are so far out of reach before doing things to narrow the gaps will make you give up.

Practice Delayed Gratification: Train yourself to resist immediate rewards for the sake of long-term benefits. This skill is fundamental to maintaining discipline, especially when faced with tempting shortcuts. "An example of delayed gratification is a parent asking a child to clean up their room or finish their homework before the child can play video games."

🖤𝑰𝑽. 𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑻𝑶 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝒀 𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑰𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑫.

Set Realistic Goals: Ensure your goals are achievable and realistic. Unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration and a decline in discipline. Although it is still good to aim big, aiming big without connecting the dots on how you will get there will leave you confused and might lead you to give up.

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement keeps you motivated and on track.

Review and Adjust: Regularly assess your progress and be willing to adjust your approach. Flexibility is key to overcoming challenges and staying disciplined in the long run.

Visual Reminders: Keep your goals visible. Create visual reminders or vision boards to reinforce your commitment and consistent action.

Establish a Routine: Stick to a daily routine that incorporates your goals. Consistency builds habits, and habits are the foundation of discipline.

Stay Accountable: Share your goals with someone who can provide support and hold you accountable. This could be a friend, family member, or mentor.

Prioritise Self-Care: Ensure you're taking care of your physical and mental well-being. A healthy, balanced lifestyle contributes to sustained discipline.

Learn from Setbacks: Instead of seeing setbacks as failures, view them as learning opportunities. Understand what went wrong and use it as insight for improvement.

Avoid Overcommitting: Be mindful of your limitations. Overcommitting can lead to burnout and a decline in discipline. Focus on quality rather than quantity.

Stay Intrinsically Motivated: Cultivate internal motivation by reminding yourself of the intrinsic benefits of your goals. Connect emotionally with your objectives.

Embody your potential.

xoxo 💋 @elicathebunny

#self improvement #self growth #discipline #dream girl #2024 mindset #that girl