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#we didn't hate each other but realized that we were both happier ignoring the other's existence
cobbssecondbelt · 5 months
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Dincember 2023 - Day 10: Sweater
It's by a combination of reflex, luck and habit that Din dodged the foot aiming for his nose. He got kicked in the cheek instead, just hard enough to irritate. That would teach him better than to try and get the kid dressed before he’d put on his own armor.
‘’Just a second- Grogu!’ Din sighed, his patience wavering. They had both woken up groggy this morning, just one of those days where they fed each other’s bad mood with no apparent reason behind it. ‘’Can you stop moving for a minute?’’
The child whined and Force-tossed the pile of clothes on the floor. Din exhaled sharply and rubbed his face to shake the rising frustration away. It wasn’t the time to get angry. He had to set the right example, no matter how many buttons the kid pushed. And boy, he was pushing many today. More like slamming them with a hammer, really.
‘’I’m not cleaning that up.’’ Din stated sternly.
Grogu promptly ignored him, staying put on the bed with a frown scrunching up his round face. Din sat on the floor with a groan. They hadn’t even left the cabin yet and he was already exhausted. He’d had an awful night, between rounds of nightmares and a storm outside that wouldn’t let up. He leaned back against the toybox, his impatience dying out in place of a deep weariness.
‘’Had a bad night too, huh?’’
Grogu grumbled. He was slouching, as if considering taking a nap right then and there. Maybe… maybe he just didn’t want to go. Din closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn’t really want to either, he was being honest with himself. They weren’t exactly busy today; he should return Greef’s holocall that he missed yesterday, maybe pay the man a visit since he needed to take a trip to the market anyway, and the N-1 needed some maintenance, but… that was about it. No urgency. No mission.
‘’How about we take the day off.’’ He offered.
The kid peeped. After a moment of consideration, he let out a softer coo of agreement.
‘’Alright. But you still need to change. You can’t stay in dirty clothes.’’ Before the protests could begin, he added, ‘’You choose whatever else you want to wear. How does that sound?’’
While it visibly wasn’t the preferred option, the child still gave in. He let Din carry him to the dresser and picked a purple onesie and the yellow socks Din knitted him a while ago, along with a bright red sweater.
…self-expression, they said.
‘’…okay.’’ Din held his tongue and helped Grogu get dressed. While he was still a little bit fussy, he didn’t make a scene out of it this time, which was already a milestone Din was grateful for.
The sweater was too big for the kid. It was a constant challenge to find clothes that fitted him, especially since he hated shopping for clothing, which left Din to go alone and try to guess what could be an appropriate size.
He folded the sleeves a few times to free the child’s hands. He would need to make some arrangements on them. Maybe tonight, if he was bored.
‘’Good.’’ Yep, they were definitely staying home today. The mismatch of colors and fabrics hurt Din’s eyes, but the kid was a little bit happier, and Din sure didn't look any better in his loungewear and hopeless case of bedhead. What a pair they made. ‘’Do you wanna go play outside or watch a holo?’’
The answer was evident, and they found themselves sunken into their couch for most of the morning watching cartoons and soapy holos. Grogu dozed off a few times and Din wasn’t much better, sprawled over the couch half-awake with the elegance of a Hutt. Hopefully nobody would come knocking at their door, although Din found himself realizing he frankly didn’t care.
Maybe he could learn to take a day off, after all.
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skiyoosmi · 3 years
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post-break up heartaches
verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home
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⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon
⤷ verse 2 | verse 3
⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane
commissions: open
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⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...
"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.
"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.
"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.
"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."
he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.
the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...
"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."
the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."
you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."
he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.
maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.
but he didn't.
"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."
so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.
i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.
⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.
why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.
"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?
tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.
he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.
"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.
but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."
disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.
"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"
"i'm sor—"
"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.
as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."
"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."
"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."
and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.
but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?
at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.
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© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.
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rayofsunas · 3 years
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cherry blossoms | scaramouche
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A/n: good evening guys! how is everyone? I hope you're all doing well this week :) reader insert is fem once again (I've explained why in another recent post) but if someone would like a gn version let me know! I kind of think of this as a prequel to scara's mini-series, but rather the happier version shh- (I'm plotting things in the mini-series). since I was running late with this post, and I feel as though this is unfinished, if you guys want a part two, let me know!! as always, thank you for requesting anon, and enjoy!
Summary: s/o is a fatui harbinger and scaramouche's fiancé, who’s good friends with aether, paimon, mona.
Parings: Scaramouche/Fem! Reader
Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, pregnancy (hinted + implied), Mona being Mona and Paimon being Paimon ;-;
Word count: 1k
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"Mona, please, I just need you to try and get along, for once." You exclaimed, staring at the tall cherry blossom tree in your backyard, wondering if it could support a small swing; you hoped it could.
The beautiful astrologer huffed from her seat on a nearby large stone, that was now a bench of sorts. Your wish seemed to be the last thing on her mind, far too stubborn to give in completely.
"I'm trying! He's just so annoying..."
"Understood," You agreed, Mona tilted her head to the side. "But, I want you two to stop. I know he makes it hard, but be the bigger person, yeah?" She was your best friend, why wouldn't you want them to get along?
She nodded nonchalantly, only partly agreeing. She couldn't get along with your fiance no matter how much she tried. Everything he said was both annoying and infuriating.
Plus, he was a danger! But then again you were a Fatui as well... No, your personality and actions couldn't be chalked up to that of a Fatui, you and your fiancé were different, very, very different.
"By the way, where's Aether and Paimon?" You asked, moving away from the beautiful cherry blossom tree to bump your hip with the astrologers, eventually taking a seat when she scooted over.
"On their way, they decided to stop into town for something." A sneaky grin was on her face and you couldn't help but feel sick because of it.
"What's with that grin?"
"Nothing, no worries."
You hummed, looking back at the tree in thought. You'd have to figure out what that meant when the pair returned soon.
-
"Must you have such a grandiose house, so far away from the town?! It was really hard getting up here!" Paimon complained, large eyes angry. You couldn't help but smile cheekily at the small floating being, not phased at all by her behavior.
"Apologies, Paimon. My only excuse is we like privacy; being a Fatui isn't easy and brings a lot of unwanted attention."
"Paimon doesn't like the long walk,” She said speaking in third person. “Thank the Archons we don't come here often!" She smiled.
"Hey..." You said teasingly, with a frown.
"S-Sorry, um,-" She looked frazzled before floating over to Aether and snatching a small brown paper bag from his hands, "Here, an apology gift...?" The mysterious being nervously giggled, you stared at her in confusion.
"A gift, for me?" She nodded.
"Paimon!" Aether hissed lowly, glaring at her. It sounded like she wasn't supposed to give this to you... Because of that, you were going to give it back but then Aether relaxed and motioned for you to open it.
"We were hoping to give it to you when Scaramouche was here too, seeing as though it's a gift for both of you..." You gave him a questioning look. What could it be? For the both of you? Hmm... How thoughtful.
"Go ahead!" Paimon said cheerfully, a huge smile on her face. Aether's features mirrored hers and even Mona had a small smile on her face. You followed their orders, unfolding the fold at the top of the bag and reaching inside to grab the contents. Whatever it was felt small, soft, and there was even something round in there. Your eyebrows pinched in confusion as you grabbed the first item.
It didn't take long for you to realize what it was. A white baby blanket, dotted with tiny glittered silver, purple, and blue stars. It was beautiful...
"Oh my." You said shocked.
Everyone's faces seemed to drop, scared you hadn't liked the gift.
"What's wrong?" Mona was the first to question. "You don't like it?" She asked frantically.
"I love it... It's just-" You continued reaching into the bag to grab a little hat that looked exactly like your Fiance's, without a doubt for a baby's head. Glancing up at the group, you stared cluelessly. "How did you guys know?"
Paimon giggled, "Mona told us, duh!"
Looking at Mona who wore a bright smile on her face, you only stared in amusement. Of course, she'd find out first... She always did.
"You read my horoscope?"
She nodded, mimicking you. "I read your horoscope." She confirmed.
A sigh escaped past your lips. "I thought I told you to stop doing that?" The last time she did, she read Scaramouche's without permission and ruined the element of surprise when it came to his proposal. You assumed that was one of the other reasons why the two hated each other, outside the fact that he was a Harbinger.
"I couldn't help it!" Your best friend exclaimed, throwing her hands dramatically in the air. With a smile you approached her, wrapping your arms around her frame.
"Thank you," You whispered. She returned the sweet gesture, smiling. "It's nothing."
Pulling away, you asked, "So, who's idea was it?" Aether and Paimon looked directly at Mona, you smiled at her once again. Maybe she was coming around if she thought to have a milliner make a tiny hat much like Scaramouche's for the baby. "Yours truly." She said cockily, arms folding.
"Hey!" Screeched Paimon. "You can't take all the credit! We picked out the blanket! Plus, you didn't have any money so you couldn't even go with us!"
-
Scaramouche arrived much later, closer to dinnertime, and you were the first to greet him at the door, shoving the blanket and hat in his face. He cracked a grin at the hat but didn't care much about the blanket.
"You should thank her," you had said to him, teasingly reaching for his hat to plop on your head; something you’d grown accustomed to. “She was very thoughtful." He watched as you hopped through the house towards the living area, the charms and tassels of his hat jingling with each hop, without a doubt you were in high spirits.
"Them leaving tomorrow should be enough of thanks they deserve." He said once he was beside you again. You smacked his shoulder with the baby blanket. He just grinned cheekily at you.
"Asshole, they traveled all this way just for you to rush them away. The least we could do is host them for a while." He shook his head, frowning when he heard Paimons loud screeches coming from the living room, cheering about something to do with food. Annoying... "I don't owe them anything. They're guests in our house, I should be able to kick them out if I wish." You ignored his comment.
"About guests, I received a letter from Dottore,"
Scaramouche's face paled. Archons, what did he want now...? His presence was annoying as it is, almost matching Childe's, but because Scaramouche was ignoring that crazy clown, now he writing to his fiance?
With a teasing smile, you announced, "He'll be stopping by sometime this week. I hope that's not too much of an issue!"
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3.24.21, rayofsunas
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enderspawn · 3 years
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op I am pleading for you to talk about c!Schlatt I keep getting interrogated for saying c!Schlatt was the best president and he really didn't do anything super terribly wrong please talk about him
i mean... im sorry anon but idk abt best PRESIDENT. manburg under schlatt.... kind of sucked imo JFKDLSJFKL
1. manburg had massive food shortages, to the point the average citizen (including fundy) had to eat spider eyes to survive.
2. he imposed ludicrious tax of his civillians (namely niki. we dont know if he did that to Every Business like w fundy or if he targeted niki specifically bc of her closeness to the ex-president, but neither is good)
3. exiled those who he saw as political opponents to keep his power
4. straight up ignored his cabinet a lot of the time to make his own decisions (such as destroying the white house, which led to quackity leaving)
5. was widely hated by all the citizens. literally at one point all the ppl left in manburg was schlatt and jack manifold (who was MIA on the server and left to found Manifold Land when he came back)
6. held a public execution, AGAIN without the consent or knowledge of his cabinet (IF I REMEMBER RIGHT. i know big q opposed the execution at minimum, but idk for sure if he knew it was planned at all before the festival)
7. was basically at war his entire presidency thanks to pogtopia's existence
and thats just what i can think of rn! the reasons i like c!schlatt are fully based around him as a character and HIS personal development, not around his policies or actions. especially when compared to the other two presidents, who either won or prevented a war and kept the majority of its citizens happier and healthier than Manburg, he's.... probably the worst president they had tbh
BUT since you gave me an excuse to ramble abt him anyway, i wanna go on abt what i DO like abt him (under a cut bc this post is already kinda long oops) but
tldr; i like schlatt bc of his relationships with others, his flaws and pitiable moments, and how he is a fantastic parallel/foil to the characters around him
I like his complex (and yes, abusive) relationship with quackity, especially after his death and quackity's feelings flipping rapidly between hating him and missing him. but before that they did have a honeymoon-esque period-- at least from quackity's view.
watching their date you get the idea schlatt mightve never really been interested in him and mightve just been using quackity's interest in him for his own advancement! but we dont know.
maybe he did truly love quackity in his own fucked up way in the end, even if he wasnt a good person. maybe he regrets his actions and cruelty. or maybe he doesnt.
in the end they were (like the animatic i linked said) "built from the same dirt", they're both incredibly ambitious and prideful people and parallel each other a LOT (see: q's need for power, his want to execute ranboo paralleling tubbos execution, etc). they're not good for one another, but i love seeing just how they fall apart together (i hope you die, i hope we both die kind of beat)
and.... god his relationship and impact w fundy i could ramble abt all day dude. fundy kept schlatt's sword after his death and calls it an heirloom. we dont know 100% how old fundy was when wilbur was exiled (i mena... he ran for president but current fundy is like 20something and tommy ALSO ran as vp at 16) but we can assume he was a late teen. his own father was gone, but schlatt... seemed to CARE. he showed him affection.
fundy's never truly felt like hes BELONGED anywhere (even the country his father said was all for him, he felt ostracized and made different by his fathers doting babying) and because of that hes always looking for a group to be a part of. hes a people pleaser (its part of why hes so easy for big q to get for las nevadas).
and schlatt GIVES him that feeling of belonging he deserves. hes a spy the entire time, yes, but he becomes conflicted about it as time goes on.
could schlatt just be using fundy and filling his head with empty praise? sure, i couldnt fault you at all for that interpretation, its perfectly valid. BUT, i dont think so. he seemed genuinely shocked to see fundy oppose him on nov 16th. remember, he didnt know fundy was a spy.
in that moment he realizes just HOW alone he is and always has been. and its a tragic moment: the last person he had, the person he himself mightve truly CARED about left him just like everyone else. he was alone, truly and fully. even his allies were only there out of obligation and bc of him paying.
he knows his health has been failing him. he cant even swim due to muscular issues but he refuses see a doctor about it because he refuses to let himself be seen as weak.
hell, one could argue that issue leads to his abraisive and abusive behavoir in relationships: he refuses to let himself be true and genuine to anyone, there always has to be a wall and a proud perfect persona. its part of why hes a great villain both in narrative and to watch as a casual fan: just like c!wilbur, he's playing an act.
hes a foil and a parallel to wilbur. both are men who hide their true selves behind a certain role or persona they feel they have to play while they hide their crumbling health (schlatt's more physical and wilbur's more mental). both experience their rise and fall. but wilbur isnt despised, even if he thinks he is, while schlatt isnt truly loved by anyone, even if he thinks he is.
most of all, their deaths couldnt be more different. wilbur went out with a bang. a large dramatic scene fit for a storybook, with a long monologue and cinematic final blow ALL made to fit how he saw himself in a story and simply filling a required roll. but schlatts death is practically overlooked (especially in comparison to wilburs death and everything else that happened that day).
he built his entire persona about being this massive, larger than life powerful guy but he died small, weak, and frail to his own failing body. its... pitiful, honestly. it doesnt feel fitting, it feels wrong. his life up that point demanded drama, but his death was nothing more than... an accident, almost. unintentional. clumsy. its fucking brilliant.
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jenomark · 3 years
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JANUARY
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➔Pairing: Doyoung x Reader (Female) | Jaehyun x Reader (Female) ➔Other Members/ Characters: -.- ➔Genre: Plot (ft. smut, romance, angst, fluff etc.) ➔Warnings: Angst ➔Word count: 4,716
➔Summary: You are dating handsome and lovable Jaehyun. You stay at his apartment all of the time, along with his roommate Doyoung. Doyoung has feelings for you, which he doesn’t quite understand. What begins as an innocent crush changes the lives of all three people over the course of seven months.
AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER
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Jaehyun sat cross-legged in the middle of the floor, leaning back on his arms, his hair a tousled mess, and his eyes red from not sleeping well. Moving never agreed with him. He hated change and how hard it was to settle into newness. He aspired to keep things as they were, which was why he hardly shopped for new shirts or baseball caps. The older and more used things were, the happier they made him feel. He didn’t want to exist in a world where he had to pick out new things to decorate a new apartment with, to pretend like he cared about separate cutting boards, one for meat and the other for vegetables.
Maybe he was just tired of giving a shit altogether.
He sat for a while on the wood floor that was scuffed after having to move his furniture alone. He kicked a lone sheet of bubble wrap with his foot, trying his best just to pop a bubble with his big toe. He blew hot air out of his mouth and looked around, willing his brain not to stir up old memories.
His phone rang and he ignored the call, something he didn’t often do. Jaehyun was a social butterfly. He liked talking to people, and liked the attention at the other end of the call, the way someone could feel excited just by talking to him. He knew the people he loved would be worried about him, and he resented any of those feelings they might have.
“I’m a grown up, for fucks sake.” he had told his mother before he left to pack up his apartment on his own.
His mother didn’t raise an argument, just let her only son go. So, Jaehyun was left alone to pack up his whole life, or what was left of it. By the time he got to the apartment he used to share, more than half of the things were gone. He hadn’t realized how little material possessions he owned, or how easy it was to pack up what he did have.
Jaehyun got to his feet. He knew he had to make a move and look for a new apartment for one person. It really was time to grow up and be the man he always wanted to be. He took one last look around the apartment before he locked it up forever, crossing that threshold and only thinking about you once.
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December
“-I cheated on you.” he said. “I cheated on you the night I went to the bar without you.”
He meant it to sting. He wanted to see how the realization would set in, how the relief would slowly be replaced by repulsiveness. Your pretty little face scrunched up with it until you opened your mouth to berate him. More than anything, he wanted you to blame him for ruining the relationship, to use him as an excuse for your own infidelity.
Instead, there was only relief. It made Jaehyun feel disappointed.
“Do I know her?” you asked.
“No.” Jaehyun said. “She was a stranger. That doesn’t matter. It was just one time”
He was lying through his teeth. Not the best liar, Jaehyun was surprised you bought it. You looked understanding, which made him want to hurt you, really hurt you. The fight left him as soon as you admitted defeat. It was easy to love you but harder to unlove you.
“I have something to confess.” you said, sounding as pathetic as you looked.
He didn’t always know that you were cheating with Doyoung. There was a time, in the beginning, he used to laugh behind Doyoung’s back at his little crush on you. It was like a game for Jaehyun to watch his roommate squirm any time you walked into the room. It gave Jaehyun a mental pat on the back to know that he could get someone like you, someone everyone else wanted, someone Jaehyun’s roommate could not get. Looking back on it, it was wrong of him to think like this. Like everyone else, he was still learning how to be a better human being. He thought it would just take time.
Jaehyun had many crushes throughout his life, so he could hardly blame Doyoung for what should have been an innocent crush. You were pretty special. In a lot of ways, Jaehyun wished he hadn’t taken you for granted so much, because there were aspects to the relationship that were so good for him. He felt stupid to lose them. Also, you were beautiful and the sex was some of the best he’d ever had.
He supposed that he became really suspicious the feelings weren’t unrequited around Halloween. Something felt off at the party, and it had nothing to do with his drinking. You glowed whenever you were around Doyoung, much brighter than he himself ever could make you. That was the profound moment, the one where he tried so hard to convince himself that it wasn’t true. He began to blame himself for thinking negatively. The guilt ate away at him, gnawing at him whenever he was alone with his thoughts.
“Should I be scared of this confession?” Jaehyun asked.
There was so much bitterness dripping from his voice, but he was trying his best to remain neutral. Seeing the way your face deflated made him feel sympathetic towards you, something he was learning that adults could do.
You nodded, the tears falling quietly.
“Say it.” Jaehyun said.
You looked at him. He would always remember the way you looked at him, and how he wished things had turned out differently. In your eyes, he could see how certain you were of the future, how sure you were with your own choices.
“I cheated on you, too.” you said.
Jaehyun didn’t react like you wanted him to, which threw everything off. Your expression was accusatory, and he could see that you were wondering if either of you ever loved each other to begin with.
“Do I know him?” he asked.
“You don’t seem surprised.”
Jaehyun shrugged. “What does that say about you?” He squeezed his fists down by his side to calm down. He tried a different approach and added, “We shouldn’t do this outside.”
He started walking towards the car, hoping you would follow, but you didn’t. He walked back to you, reaching out his hand to touch your arm.
“You knew.” you said, the realization dawning on you slowly. “You knew I cheated on you this whole time?”
Jaehyun let his hand fall down by his side. When he spoke, his voice was thick. “Yes, I knew.”
“Did you cheat on me because I cheated on you?”
“Let’s talk about it in the car, please.”
He started walking, but again, you didn’t follow. Frustrated, Jaehyun turned back around. He looked at the windows to make sure no one was watching the show. He didn’t need his mother or his little cousins knowing what a wreck his life could sometimes be. By then, all the steam had left him. He was no longer angry or bitter, just numb.
“Yes, I knew you cheated on me,” he said. “I didn’t cheat on you because you cheated on me. What level of petty do you think I am?”
“How long have you known?” you asked.
“Does it matter?”
You looked terrified and so small. Jaehyun had to resist the urge to scoop you up and hold you in the cold air. He was still an asshole, but he was becoming a sensitive asshole. He thinks that’s the moment where the true change began.
Slowly, you started walking towards him. You both made it back to the car, a place that was starting to feel too heavy for Jaehyun, too boxed in. Closing the car door blocked out all of the air and sound. It was just the two of you, one person silently crying and the other trying his best not to break down with you.
“Why him?” was all Jaehyun said.
It was a question that had been bugging him for a long time. Sure, Doyoung was more emotionally available. He was outwardly intelligent. His charms were many, and he wasn’t bad looking. He kept most of his promises and could have been a good friend in a past life. People never had the wrong idea about Doyoung when they first met him, either, not like they did with Jaehyun. Their opinion of Jaehyun wavered, but Doyoung always brought forth the same reaction. He was the man a mother could like. He was the one you fell in love with, the one who felt right from the start.
Jaehyun could feel the mood in the car turn even more sour. You didn’t know he also knew it was with Doyoung. Maybe you were going to convince him that it was someone unimportant, some random in a bar, just like his story.
“Am I that awful?” Jaehyun asked. “I know I haven’t been here for you a whole lot. Our relationship hasn’t been the best.”
You cried a little harder. “No, you’re not awful.”
“So, why? Why do this to me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Good to know.” Jaehyun said, starting the car.
He drove away in silence, the only sound coming from the hum of the car. He dropped you off in front of his and Doyoung’s apartment. It was getting harder to remain feeling numb. As he sat in the car in front of his apartment, Jaehyun could feel every emotion flooding through his veins. He gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white.
“I’m not coming inside,” he said. “I’ll find somewhere else to stay until both of you are out of my apartment. Take as long as you need.”
You got out of the car and came around to the side where Jaehyun’s window was open. He opened it to the cool night air in order to breathe in the freshness. It just ended up making him feel ice cold, inside and outside.
Jaehyun leaned out of it and said, “By the way, I never really cheated on you. I just said that to make you admit it. Thanks for saying it.”
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The numbness returned and followed him around for roughly a month. You and Doyoung moved out within three days, not bothering to stew in feelings of guilt, like he wanted you to. Jaehyun didn't know what to do with himself, after that.
He would walk in and out of Doyoung’s empty room in the apartment, thinking up memories of you two fucking where Doyoung used to keep his bed. It was tortuous and stupid, and it helped no one in the long run, but he couldn’t stop himself from trying to draw emotions out of the pit of his belly.
Not seeing you had made it harder for him to move on. He thought about going to see you at your job, to casually stop by where he knew your group of work friends would be, but there were people in his life who always talked him out of it. He just wanted to feel something, anything at all.
His own work friends suggested he hook up with random strangers, but he never actually had it in him to go out and do it. Building any kind of relationship with someone wasn’t a great idea, even if it made him feel like he was getting some kind of sexual revenge on you. Walking around his half-empty apartment wasn’t the best choice either, but it helped him pass the time.
He didn’t get to tell you, but it was Doyoung that eluded him to the affair. When Jaehyun had asked him to take care of you, he had never seen someone so confident in his ability to do so. There was love in that man's eyes, a love that can only be felt when the person you love loves you right back. A little after that, when Jaehyun really looked at you and saw you, he confirmed that something serious was going on.
In a way, Jaehyun hoped it was just sex. He could take it if you and Doyoung were sneaking off just to fuck each other when he was at work. Adding love into the mix hurt him a little more, made him aware of the things he lacked.
So, back and forth he went like that across the apartment. He did things he wasn’t proud of. He blamed himself and didn’t blame anyone else but you. He cursed your name in the darkness. He took his aggression out on Doyoung, even going so far as to ring up his work and tell them Doyoung was thinking about quitting. It really was petty, which maybe he definitely was being, but it wasn’t anything he couldn't correct himself for. He was trying. He really was.
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Jaehyun took the last box from the top of the stairs, carrying it down in his arms like a delicate baby. On the side of the fridge, the only thing he wasn’t taking with him, was a calendar marking the end days in January. He thought of the next tenants moving in, and how they’d throw it out without hesitation. Maybe they’d have a more solid year ahead of them than he felt he did.
He couldn’t believe how fast time was moving, and he willed it to just slow down long enough for him to catch his breath. Soon enough, it would be February, and he’d have been single for nearly two months. The thought of spending his birthday alone made him sick to his stomach.
He walked down the stairs, looking into the box to see an old picture frame belonging to you on top. It was one your dad had taken of you as a child at the zoo. You were in shorts, your knobby knees sticking out, and your missing-toothed smile making him want to smile back. Jaehyun kept it in his room because it reminded him from time to time of you, of how one person can come into his life and change it all.
Jaehyun didn’t just want to throw it out, so he kept it with him until he moved. He didn’t know what to do with it now, but he figured he should probably return it. You’d want that photograph more than he did, but just barely.
After feeling like he wanted the whole world against you, Jaehyun started to refocus his attention on self-care and self-love. Slowly, he began to unpack his own responses to things, how he could choose to act better in every situation, and how the only person holding him back from a better life was him.
He began to feel better, too. It wasn’t going to cure him, but it was worth a start. He couldn’t stop the pessimism from reaching inside of his shirt and clawing at his bare skin, but he could change some things that didn’t serve him.
When he reached the outside, his heart a little raw from seeing your childhood photo, his mother was waiting for him in her car. Sometimes a momma's boy just needed his momma. He placed the box in the backseat and slid into the passenger seat.
“Are you ready?” she asked, patting his knee.
“I am.”
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Bars felt comfortable because they were noisy. He would go to one after work, order a drink and sip on it until he felt tired and went home. He wasn’t there to get drunk or to meet new people. Sometimes, he caught up with his work friends. Other times, he sat there alone, chit-chatting to the bartender on duty. He laughed when things were funny. He let his foot tap away against the floor when the music was good.
“Is this seat taken?”
A pretty girl was standing hesitantly in front of the chair next to him. Jaehyun smiled and shook his head no. She sat down beside him, bringing her purse on her lap and looking at him with curiosity.
“I see you here a lot.” she said.
“Ahh,” Jaehyun said. “I think that’s my cue to stop coming every day. I swear, I’m not an alcoholic.”
Her eyes widened, afraid that she had offended him. “I didn’t mean-”
“-I’m kidding.” Jaehyun said. "It's a joke."
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Jaehyun pushed his empty glass away from him and swiveled his chair to face her more. She looked self-conscious with the way she tucked her hair behind her ear. Jaehyun felt too awkward, so he turned his chair back around.
“Are you waiting for someone?” he asked.
“No.” She said, “I came to talk to you because you looked lonely.”
To that, Jaehyun didn’t know what to say. Instead, he ordered another drink and let her talk his ear off. She talked about everything and nothing the whole night. Jaehyun partly listened and partly let his mind wander. She was nice and interesting enough, but he wasn’t ready to start talking to other women in a way that suggested sex or relationships.
He could have used a friend. He would have liked to have found a friend in her, but she made it clear that she wasn’t interested in him in that way when her hand found her way to his thigh. She moved it upward with each word she spoke, her fingertips dangerously close to fondling him.
“This was fun.” Jaehyun said, feeling the buzz of alcohol running through his system. “Unfortunately, I have work early tomorrow and need a full night's rest. See you sometime?”
The girl looked taken aback at the sudden change of events. Jaehyun got up from his chair, said goodnight to her and sauntered out of the door. He hadn’t even realized they didn’t exchange names.
Jaehyun decided to walk home. The night was cold in the way winter was, but manageable. His jacket kept him warm enough, and if his bones chilled, he hardly noticed. He watched people as he walked, watched them happily walking along the sidewalks and dipping into whatever door they fancied. Slowly, he began to smile and feel more at ease, but maybe it was the alcohol making him feel that way. Or maybe it was a sudden feeling that maybe everything could be alright, only if he allowed it.
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He woke up and he was drooling. Jaehyun lifted his head from the pillow, looking to his left and right. There was a knocking sound that felt like it was coming from inside of his head. He hadn’t been that tipsy last night, so he knew a hangover was not the cause. He lifted himself up from the bed in his mothers spare bedroom and threw his legs over the side of his bed.
The knocking continued, more feverishly than before. Jaehyun ignored it and picked up his phone to see if he had any missed calls. There were none.
“I’m coming!” Jaehyun yelled when the final knocks were more forceful. He muttered to himself,” Fucking fuck.”
He walked across the room before realizing he was shirtless. He grabbed a dirty t-shirt from the floor and brought it over his head, letting the hem of it meet his sweatpants. In case it was one of his mothers snooty friends, he looked in the mirror and cleaned up his messy hair. He didn’t need anyone judging him for sleeping past noon on a weekend.
“Coming.” Jaehyun called again.
He walked out of the spare bedroom that was just to the left of the living room and ducked down to see if he could recognize the person standing on the porch. Or rather, people. He saw just a flip of hair before he ran behind the door and held his hand to his chest to get his heart to stop beating.
Doyoung’s voice was low and quiet, but Jaehyun could hear everything he said. “We’ll come back later. He's not home.”
Jaehyun didn’t have to hear your voice to know that you were there, too , that the hair he saw belonged to you. It was dyed a darker color, but it was unmistakably you. Yet, hearing the sound of your voice made his toes curl underneath him. He didn’t think seeing you so soon after the breakup would help him.
“He’s home.” you said, your voice somewhat impatient.
It was smart of you to come when his mother was at work. He thought you might have purposely done it this way, to avoid any more awkwardness. After all, Jaehyun’s mother was sure to ride for her son, to take a look at both of them standing on the porch and curse them out. At that imagery, Jaehyun smiled to himself.
“I don’t know.” Doyoung said, his voice nervous. "Should we be bothering him like this? It's too soon."
Jaehyun backed away from the door. He wondered if he had time to run back into the bedroom and get himself more presentable. He wanted you to see what you had been missing out on. He was a handsome guy, definitely one worth giving a second look to. He suddenly wished he had taken that girl at the bar home and fucked her, so that he could talk to you and Doyoung and have her walk out of the bedroom naked, unaware of what was going on. He'd love to see the look on your face then.
No, Jaehyun thought to himself. I should appear wounded. I am wounded.
The unkempt hair and slightly red-rimmed eye look was working in his favor. Before giving it another thought, Jaehyun whipped open the front door to his mothers house and faced them both down. He kept his face stoic, his voice even. “Can I help you?”
It was Doyoung who spoke first, his voice not as sharp as usual. “You have something of hers. She was wondering if she could have it back.”
“Can she speak for herself?” Jaehyun asked.
The whole time Doyoung was speaking, Jaehyun kept his eyes on you. It was a mistake to do so. There was nothing more heartbreaking than to see how well you were surviving. Your skin was glowing and flawless. Your new hair made you look mature in a way that was sure to make everyone notice you. You were dressed in nice clothes that matched Doyoung’s vibe. Jaehyun couldn't stop the jealousy from taking root in his soul.
“She can.” you said, speaking for yourself. “You have my picture and I’d like it back. Do you, by any chance, have it here?”
Jaehyun wasn’t really listening. He was looking into your eyes, daring himself to get lost in them. Maybe it was the fact that you were unattainable now, but it made him want you all over again. It was hard to let you go.
“Are you two dating now?” Jaehyun asked.
All three were silent, even Jaehyun. As soon as he spoke the words, he began to wish they’d stuff themselves back inside of his mouth. Jaehyun tried to recover and said, “That’s none of my business. Of course, I have your photo. I’ll get it.”
In their faces, Jaehyun shut the front door. He felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He clawed at his own neck and willed himself to breathe. He walked through his mom's house and went down to the basement where he was temporarily storing his belongings. Apartment hunting was going decently well, but he found out he could hardly afford more than a pot to piss in by himself. Having his mother support him had been a blessing, but it wasn’t easy.
After rifling through some boxes, he found the photo in question. The first few days he spent with his mother, he kept it on his bedside table. When he realized it was causing him too much pain, he brought it down to the basement with the rest of his things. He never thought you would come back to get it, or to remember it, or to show your face at his mother's house.
When Jaehyun opened the front door back up, you were gone. Doyoung stood, his eyes struggling to make eye contact. Jaehyun opened the screen door wide and handed the photograph in its frame to Doyoung.
“If you’re here to apologize, don’t bother.” Jaehyun said. “I’m over it.”
It was a lie, one too obvious for either to believe. Doyoung’s grace allowed him to let it go, to open his mouth and shut it right away. Jaehyun sat down on one of the porch chairs and motioned for Doyoung to do the same. Jaehyun shot a look in the direction of where you waited in a car, his face not betraying what he was feeling inside.
“I’ve been thinking about what I should say to you,” Jaehyun said. “But I’ve come up with nothing. All of that anger, and it still feels like I’m a fool with no way to defend myself.”
“You’re not a fool.” Doyoung said.
“You make me a fool by saying that.” Jaehyun said. “I’m a fool who was cheated on and too stupid to realize it, even with my suspicions. By my best friend, of all people.”
“Was I your best friend?” Doyoung asked. He sounded surprised, a little annoyed.
Jaehyun didn’t have an answer for that. Before, he would have answered it quickly. Of course you were my best friend. You were my roommate, my punching bag, and my buddy when all else failed. He had let Jaehyun’s lady live there because he was a nice guy, not because he was secretly in love with her. At that thought, Jaehyun chuckled darkly.
“Maybe not.” Jaehyun said. “It seems I never really had either relationship in the first place.”
“You didn’t want me to apologize.”
“No,” Jaehyun said. “It doesn’t do any good. I could apologize for not being the best boyfriend, but it didn’t matter. I could apologize for being a shitty roommate, maybe a friend, but you would still have made your choices.”
Doyoung played with the ring on his finger. He looked down at the frame in his hands, at the sweet girl looking back at him. “I owe you transparency.”
Jaehyun waited a long time for Doyoung to speak again. He was patient and channeling maturity. All he wanted to do, really, was go back inside and go back to sleep. Still, he waited and looked at Doyoung. When Doyoung didn’t speak fast enough, Jaehyun had to speak his mind. If he didn't, it would bother him too much.
“You’re dating her, yes?”
“Yes.” Doyoung said.
“In love?”
“Yes.”
“For a long time?”
“Yes.”
“Do you feel bad about it?”
“About loving her? No.” Doyoung said. “About hurting you? Yes. I did consider us some type of friends.”
“Not the type that doesn’t steal his boy's girlfriend, huh?”
The dig might have hurt Doyoung but Jaehyun couldn’t tell. Doyoung stood up, deciding that he’d had enough of the conversation. Jaehyun followed, rising to his feet in a way that desperately made him want to appear calm and cool.
“I’ll make this quick, since I have to go.” Doyoung said. “I don’t want to lose you in my life, Jaehyun.”
“Fuck you.” Jaehyun said, the words slipping out.
Doyoung’s lips parted. “I deserve that.”
“And her? Does she want to lose me?”
“I can’t speak for her, but no, she doesn’t.”
“Fuck right off.” Jaehyun opened his screen door. “A timeline where my girlfriend cheats on me with my roommate and they come back because they don’t want to lose me? Unbelievable.”
“Believe it.” Doyoung said.” Because it’s true. She won’t admit it, but there is something codependent about you two. About me, as well. Sometimes I feel like life isn’t the same without you in it. Actually, I know it’s not.”
Jaehyun shook his head as Doyoung turned to go. “I didn’t expect this. I wasn't prepared.”
Doyoung threw his hands in the air. “Me neither. I’ve learned not to expect anything anymore. Life is fucked. I'm trying my best to unfuck myself.”
Doyoung walked down the steps and back towards the car. Jaehyun watched him go, pausing way too long before going inside of the house and closing the door behind him.
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kaimelia · 3 years
Note
Hi, In Twitter and tik tok I see photos about Megan coming back to grey’s for Teddy and Owen
Wedding. Can you write something about Amelink in the wedding ? Please
last hope
a/n: me realizing you probably wanted fluff but. im a sucker for an amelia/teddy friendship and also angst!
"The day that was over ten years in the making," Amelia muttered, bringing her flute of sparkling water up to her lips. "Congratulations."
"Things finally feel right." Teddy glanced over at Amelia. "Thank you for everything you've done. I know these past few weeks haven't been easy, but this wedding wouldn't be happening without you."
"Who am I if I don't help plan my ex-husband's wedding?" Her eyes trailed to the dance floor, where Owen was dancing around with Leo in his arms. "Third time's the charm."
"Did Tom say anything to you?"
"He asked me to remind you that he's a plane ride away and that he has access to a private jet, so say the word, and he's on his way," Amelia wiggled her eyebrows. "He asked me if you were happy, and I said you were, and he said that he's happy for you."
"That doesn't sound like Tom."
"He did also add that you would be happier with him, but I was leaving that out for the sake of the moment."
"He keeps asking me about you," Teddy started softly. "Says you won't talk to him about what's going on and that he's worried about you."
"That also doesn't sound like Tom," Amelia laughed gently and looked over to see Teddy's stern expression. "He's seen me through bad times. And, I don't like to think about those, so I don't respond when he asks about me."
"If you ever wanted to talk to someone, I'm here, you know? Or if you just need a friend. I know what it's like to feel like everyone hates you."
"I'm guessing Link told you?" Teddy nodded slowly, a slight grimace across her face as she took a sip from her wine glass that lasted a second longer than it should've.
"He did, but I'm also assuming there's more than his side to the story. There was when I was in my own situation, and you were one of the only people to look out for me. You didn't have to do that, and yet, you did."
"He won't listen to me," Amelia whispered, her gaze trailing out to where Link was talking with Jo. "He won't even let me speak; he just shows up to get Scout and then drops him off like we're complete strangers."
"Owen did that to me, and then you went and yelled at him, and now we're here. Do you need me to go yell at Link?"
"No, not yet, at least." She looked down at her glass, swirling the small amount of drink left around. "I just want things to go back to the way they were last year. Even in the beginning of COVID, we had a nice thing going, balancing all of the kids and everything, and I just want that back."
"What happened?"
"Shouldn't you be dancing? It is your wedding, after all." Teddy waved her hand in dismissal and shrugged.
"I'm not a big party person. And, I know that talking to you right now is probably the only way I can escape the crowd of people because I look busy."
"Fair," Amelia muttered. "Things just fell apart. It was like, at first, we always had opposite work schedules, and when we were both home, one of us was leaving for work. And then, he got caught up with Jo and making sure that she was settled to get custody of Luna and everything, and it was like I became less and less important to him." She traced her finger over the top of the flute. "He stopped checking in, and it honestly seemed like he stopped caring about how I was doing, and then he proposed."
"And you said no."
"I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything; I mean, what was I supposed to do? Fall into a marriage where we don't care about each other but still wear our rings? That's not what I want Scout to grow up thinking is love."
"Do you still love Link?" Amelia sighed, and her hand moved to the charm on her necklace, the one Link had gotten her for her birthday this past year. She ran it between her fingers.
"I don't know."
"Do you want to fix things?" Another sigh, and she looked up towards the roof of the tent shielding them from the night sky.
"When things were good, our relationship was the best thing I've ever had. But when things aren't good, I can't even explain what it did to me." She looked over at Teddy. "He just doesn't understand what it's like to be an addict. Or, he doesn't try to sympathize with it."
"The thing I've learned is that sometimes, you have to put yourself first. You have a child, and you want him to grow up learning how to take care of himself and be his own person instead of being completely tied to someone else. I spent years idolizing what my relationship with Owen would look like, and when we finally got to that point, I didn't recognize myself as a person." Teddy placed her hand on Amelia's shoulder. "Don't lose yourself because you want your relationship to look a certain way. It won't work for either of you." She set her wine glass down on the counter behind them. "By the look on Evelyn's face, I don't think I can hide over here any longer. But, Amelia, anytime you need something, I am always here." She walked away, trailing her hand down the neurosurgeon's arm as she left.
Before she even realized it, her feet were leading her towards where Link was standing, and suddenly, she was right in front of him with her arms dangling awkwardly by her side.
"I'm gonna go," Jo muttered, stepping away after raising her eyebrows at Link.
"Amelia?"
"I want to fix things," she started, clasping her hands together and subconsciously picking at her nails. "I miss us and the way things used to be before it all fell apart, and I know that maybe we can somehow get that back if you'll listen to me and promise not to ignore what I need because I don't want to get married and I'm not going to change who I am so much to the point that I forget who I am for you." She exhaled heavily, trying to read the expression on Link's face.
"Why are you doing this right now?"
"Because I need you to hear that and stop going around and telling everyone that I'm selfish and rejected your proposal because I don't care. We both know that's not true." Link dropped his head down. "You know how difficult these past few months have been for me; why would you think it was a good time to ask me to marry you?"
"Because we needed some joy, and I thought being engaged and planning our wedding would be that joy. All you had to do was talk to me and let me know that wasn't what you wanted."
"And all you had to do was check-in with me like you promised you would do before ever proposing!" Amelia bit her lip after speaking, noticing how the people around them had turned to look as their conversation increased in volume. "Link,"
"We shouldn't be having this conversation here," he muttered, picking up his wine glass from the table. "I'll find you later."
She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see Maggie standing there with a sad smile on her face.
"Let's go home," she spoke quietly, taking Amelia's hand and leading her out of the venue.
"He hates me," Amelia muttered. "He hates me, and it's like it isn't even him anymore. That's not Link; Link would never act like this, right?" Maggie pursed her lips.
"I don't know."
"I had hope. I finally had hope, and I thought that if I went up to him and was clear about what I need, he would understand, and we could work on fixing things, but he didn't want to understand." She stopped walking. "What the hell did I do wrong?"
"You didn't do anything wrong, Amelia." Maggie approached her and took her hand again. "I promise. You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes, things just don't work out, and you don't need him to be happy."
"But I miss him," she whispered. "I miss his kindness, and how much he cared about me, and how no matter what happened, he would just wrap me up in his arms at the end of the day and tell me that everything would be okay. He would always listen and be the one steady thing in my life when everything else was falling apart." Maggie sighed softly.
"Amelia, you'll always have me, I promise. And if he doesn't care for you, if he won't listen to you, then he doesn't deserve you." She tugged lightly on Amelia's hand, and they resumed their slow pace until they arrived at the car. Maggie opened the passenger door, and Amelia slumped down into the seat.
She rested her head against the window, finally allowing tears to silently fall from her eyes and watching as the car drove away from her last hope.
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shadow-night · 3 years
Text
Bounty Hunter in the Shadows Chapter 1
More chapters here on Ao3.
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Story Tags: Erasermic, Friends to Lovers, young Aizawa Shouta, young Yamada Hizashi, Slow Burn, Slice of Life, Hurt/ Comfort, Angst and Feels, Comedy, Fluff, mental breakdown, PTSD, flashbacks, self-medication, drug use, homelessness, homeless Aizawa Shouta, unhealthy coping mechanisms, survivor guilt, cats, growing gp, character study, character development, recovery
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Chapter 1: Aizawa and Yamada
Finally graduation day arrived. Aizawa held his UA high school diploma in his hands. This was a joyous occasion – or at least it should be. He should feel proud, which he did to an extent. Aizawa could not help but find the entire event nostalgic before it was even over.
He was a little proud he managed to pull through and finished school, graduating from the most famous hero school in Japan no less, but he also felt a deeply routed guilt. Yamada was joking and laughing with friends. Everyone was loud and happy, yet someone was missing.
Yamada tore Aizawa from his thoughts as he excitedly called out to him. Aizawa put on a teasing smile, silencing him with a quirk and vanished. It was meant as a joke but it also was great to escape his classmates.
Aizawa rolled his eyes at the endless amounts of texts Yamada sent him. He could practically hear the disappointed yelling while reading about how he had missed all the group photos. He didn't even bother to listen to the voice messages or pick his phone up when it rang. Aizawa went home and relaxed on his bed, knowing his foster parents wouldn't get home until later.  He wondered what would happen if he left right this moment without another word to anyone. His suitcase was already packed.
A new message lit up his phone's home screen. Aizawa reached for the device, only now bothering to look at the chat.
Yamada:
We're all going out to eat tonight. Will you come?
Aizawa:
No. I promised them dinner.
It was true. He had promised his foster parents a ‘goodbye dinner’ before moving out. It was the reason why he didn't leave right this afternoon. They were decent people and were kind enough to give him space and not pressure him into spending more time together, so when they asked if he would have dinner with them tonight he couldn't say no.
Yamada:
But you're leaving tomorrow morning, right?! When will we see each other again??
That was a good point. It still hadn't quite sunken in that they would not be back at school again soon. They wouldn't just leave school for a weekend or a holiday, but forever. Aizawa almost regretted not staying longer at school now, though he also knew that it wasn't his thing. Seeing everyone excited for the future and sad they would part would have been a little too much. He was happier alone in his bedroom.
Yamada:
Can I come over?
 Aizawa:
What about dinner?
 Yamada:
We meet later. I'll come over.
Well. Now that that was decided all there was left to do was to wait for the energetic blonde. Wherever Yamada had been, he couldn't have been too far from his home. He was out of breath when, ten minutes later, he rang the doorbell non stop until the door was opened for him.
"Come on in." Aizawa said and they headed over to the brunet's room, where they sat down on the bed. At least Aizawa sat down. Yamada flopped onto the mattress still trying to catch his breath.
"You could have walked here." Aizawa noted.
"Yeah, but I didn't want to miss any more time! Who knows when we'll see each other again!" Yamada said.
"You're the one who wanted to work in America." Aizawa reminded him.
"I knoooow." Yamada whined, but then a grin returned to his face. "But I'm sure it's gonna be awesome!" he said determinedly.
"Just don't start talking to me in English all the time." Aizawa said and realized that he really would miss Yamada.
During their first year at U.A. he did not get particularly close with anyone but Shirakumo and  Yamada. In their second year Aizawa had allowed himself to befriend Kayama a little. The cat Aizawa and Shirakumo found and gave to her had helped a lot in terms of befriending the girl who was a grade ahead of them.
After Shirakumo's death Aizawa made sure it stayed that way and distanced himself from others. He couldn't bear the thought of getting close to someone again only to loose them later. He looked at Yamada who lay on his back next to him on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Aizawa didn't want to think about how he would react if anything happened to the blonde.
"What train will you take tomorrow morning?" Yamada suddenly asked.
"Why? Don't tell me you want to meet me at the station." Aizawas tone was flat and seemingly uninterested.
"Ehhhh? Why not?!"
"You'll be hung-over." Aizawa stated.
"What? You really think us aspiring pro heroes will succumb to underage drinking?!" Yamada called out in mock surprise as if they hadn't- together in fact- gotten drunk before. Then he turned more serious. "I'd still come if you told me what time the train left." Yamada claimed.
"At 8:00 in the morning? Are you sure?" Aizawa said, a small smirk ghosting on his lips.
"Damn. That's early. Why are you torturing yourself like that?" Yamada asked, knowing how much Aizawa hated getting up early himself. Though, to be fair Aizawa seemed unhappy about getting up at any time. Insomnia was a real pain in the ass.
"I'll still come." Yamada said.
Aizawa just gave a low hum.
"You don't believe me! You'll see. I'll be there!" Yamada bumped his fist into Aizawa's shoulder.
"I didn't say anything." Aizawa said, raising his hands, showing his palms.
"Anyways." Yamada huffed. "You'll have to send me pictures of your apartment when you get there, alright."
"It's shitty. Nothing worth showing off." Aizawa protested.
"I don't care. I just want to see pictures."
"I'll send you pictures of the cockroaches I'll room with." Aizawa teased.
"Please don't!" Yamada looked horrified.
"You get those or nothing." Aizawa shrugged. This was nice. It was easy banter, just the two of them, nothing too overwhelming.
They fell into a comfortable silence, Yamada's eyes landing on Aizawa's packed suitcase.
Yamada had been surprised when Aizawa told him he would leave Musutafu the day after their graduation. He himself would travel to the US soon after the school year ended, but his flight went a week after graduation, giving him enough time to say goodbye to classmates and family. Well, Aizawa could count the friends he had on two fingers and he also did not have much family. Yamada did not know Aizawa’s host family particularly well but the few times he met them they seemed nice. Yamada could not help but wonder if Aizawa left so soon because he felt uncomfortable around them or if it had to do with Aizawa's general attitude and mood ever since their work study ended in their second year.
Yamada had a great support system at home but it was difficult mourning their dead friend himself and helping Aizawa at the same time. Shirakumo's death hit them both hard, though Aizawa definitely had a less healthy way of coping and far less support or people who didn't offer the support he needed which ended in him changing host families a month after their work study. It had been painful to watch Aizawa train in the Gym to the point he was so exhausted he fell asleep in their classes. Yamada had done his best to be there and watch Aizawa as often as he could, sometimes even training with him. It made them grow closer over time.
"You've got to take care of yourself." Yamada broke the silence.
Aizawa frowned, then looked away from the blonde. "You too."
"Hey, you missed out on all the pictures we took, let's take some now!" Yamada changed the subject. They wouldn't see each other in quite a while so they shouldn't just mop around. Aizawa was not impressed by the idea, but when Yamada sat up on the bed and sat right next to him he tilted his head towards the blonde as he held up his phone. Within minutes Yamada's camera roll filled up with new pictures of them both.
"You should leave soon, if you don't want to be late." Aizawa said eventually as he took notice of the time.
"I guess." Yamada said and sat up on the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, alright?" He reminded Aizawa.
"Don't trouble yourself. It will be fine if you don't." He said.
The door fell shut and Aizawa stood alone in the quiet house. Dinner with his foster parents also was a quiet affair. He appreciated that. They did not try to get him to talk more than usual or try to talk him out of things last minute. They asked if he finished packing and if he still needed something, as if anything was worth the trouble of going out this late at night. There were plenty of stores with the same products where he moved. He let them know he had everything he needed and stayed seated at the table after dinner. They drank tea and let it sink in that things would be different from now on.
The night seemed to drag on forever and Aizawa barely slept. He got up early, even earlier than he had to, so he could make breakfast for everyone. He made his host parents favorite tea, put six slices of bread in the toaster oven and got out a pot to make miso soup. He didn't have to cook but even he could make something as simple as miso soup with tofu and seaweed. He set out the jam for the bread and got out some plates when his host parents came out.
Aizawa checked his phone when he got his suitcase after breakfast. No new messages showed up. The blonde sent him a few photos during the night, so Aizawa knew his classmates drank alcohol and stayed up until the early morning hours. He tried to ignore the slight pang in his chest. It was good Yamada had fun last night. He should rest now. They could talk over the phone later, he told himself pocketing his phone. He looked around the room one final time. It was clean and he already pulled the sheets off and put them into the washing machine.
"Remember you can call us anytime." His host mother told him as they stood in the entrance. Aizawa gave a slight nod to signal he heard her as he tied his shoes.
"Don't hesitate to ask for help." Her husband added.
"Thank you. For everything." Aizawa said, looking them in the eyes. He even gave both a hug before he stepped outside and pulled his suitcase to the station.
When Aizawa arrived at the nearest tram station, he realized he gave Yamada the time his other train would leave from the bigger train station. So even if the blonde intended to come he might have thought of the wrong place. He checked his phone but no new notifications showed up. Aizawa pocketed his phone as the tram came to a stop. The small tram was packed with people going to work and Aizawa shuffled to the door, pulling his suitcase as close as possible. He gave an apologetic nod to an older lady close to him. Aizawa focused his eyes outside the window looking at the familiar houses and stores passing by.
Finally the tram reached the central station. He arrived with some time to spare and checked his phone while he stood waiting at the platform. He felt a little forgotten but tried his best to push the feeling aside. He told Yamada not to worry about coming, so it wasn't fair to be mad at him for not showing up.
He could hear his train enter the station and then, even louder than the arriving train his name. "Aizawaaaaaaa!" He knew that voice.
Aizawa turned around to the direction the call had come from and saw Yamada running into the station. Several people held their ears and stared at the blond in irritation. He would have to get to this platform, but the train just arrived so there was enough time. Aizawa couldn't help but smile.
When Yamada finally came running down the stairs he looked like he would throw up any second. "The things I do for you." he huffed out of breath when he came to a stop in front of Aizawa.
"I told you, you didn't have to come." Aizawa said, but his smile gave him away.
"Please just tell me you are happy to see me so that it was worth coming." Yamada begged. He wore a t-shirt with an unidentifiable stain on it and one of his shoelaces was open. He was very pale and his unstyled hair hung in his face.
"Yeah. I'm happy." Aizawa gave in. "Thank's for coming." He said just as Yamada stepped away from him and threw up over the other side of the platform where no train was.
"Are you alright?" Aizawa asked, holding the other's hair back. Other people were stared more or less subtly.
"Ugh..." Yamada groaned. Aizawa glanced at the clock, "Wait here. I'll be right back." He said and jogged to a vending machine to get some water.
"Thank's." Yamada said after he washed his mouth out and took a sip. "Sorry about that." He said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Do you need money for a taxi back?" Aizawa asked.
"No, no! It's fine. Keep your money! I still have some." Yamada said. He pulled his walled out in demonstration. He knew Aizawa did not have much saved up and he doubted he suddenly accepted more from his host family.
"If you're sure." Aizawa said.
"Actually, let me pay you back for this." Yamada held up the bottle Aizawa just got him.
"It's just water." Aizawa shook his head.
"Alright. Thanks." Yamada put his wallet away again. They stood in silence for a moment after that.
"Well...-" Yamada tried to break the silence.
"I have to get on the train soon." Aizawa said at the same time.
"Ah...right. Well...I'll hear from you soon right? Send pictures!"
"Of roaches. Sure." Aizawa couldn't help but tease with a smirk.
"I got up and came all the way here and this is how you thank me?!" Yamada said so loud he winced himself. He hadn't even spoken that loud but with his head already pounding every decibel felt like too much.
"We'll see." Aizawa said and reached for his suitcase. Should he give Yamada a hug? His arms twitched, though he kept them at his side. "Get some rest." he said, taking a step back.
"You too!" Yamada nodded, wincing once more at his own volume.
"Thank's for coming." Aizawa said, standing in the train's doorway. "Bye."
"Bye." Yamada said a little quieter now, but with a smile on his face while he waved. The blonde was always so positive and energetic. It was nice. Aizawa waved as the door closed, then moved to look for his seat.
It was a window seat and he waved once more once he sat down. Yamada waved with two arms as the train began to move.
This was it.
Aizawa's chest felt tight as the train drove out of Musutafu. So many memories were connected to the city. Good, as well as bad. He gulped down the lump that formed in his throat and pressed his shirt's sleeve against his eyes. A new chapter of his life started with his move to Naruhata. There was no turning back now.
More chapters of Bounty Hunter in the Shadows on Ao3 :)
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youcanreadit · 4 years
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AT LAST- NARUTO X READER (MODERN AU)
I hope you enjoy this UwU
"Btw Naruto did you hear? The new student will be joining our school today."
Naruto simply nodded and continued to stuff ramen into his mouth. Shikamaru shrugged and went back to finish his own meal. Of course, nothing can make him happier than his ramen.
Later that day, you accidentally bumped right into him on the way to your class. He was opening his mouth about to apologize profusely but the words died down on his lips. A surge of inexplicable emotion surged within him, rendering him speechless. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, apart from his mother.
But he couldn't seem to recognize you. That's when it clicked. She is the new student that Shikamaru was talking about at lunch!
While he gazed at your face like an idiot with an obvious blush on his cheeks, you muttered a quick apology and hurried off, leaving him standing there staring at you, awed.
After the day he met you, he was more cheerful and giddy than he usually was. Ever since he lost his parents, he had felt like he lost a part of himself. It was as if you pulled him out of the darkness and brought him back to his old self.
He would always arrive at school earlier- astonishing all his friends and teachers- so that he could see you more.
He was always watching you when you were not looking. He liked that farway look in your eyes, the shyness that radiated from you, the warm smile playing on your lips.
It felt like adrenaline was injected directly into his veins when you both locked eyes. Your voice, your face, your smile were all his brain would dwell on.
At first, he repeatedly tried to deny his feelings for you.
"I am not in love with her! I like Sakura! I like Sakura!!"
And then he would see you enter the class, your cheeks tinted pink and offering him a smile as you pass by. "Man I am so in love with her.."
He finally decided to take Jiraiya's help. Which was of course a bad idea.
*after hearing the whole thing* "I understand.. It's the L word Naruto"
"W-what?"
"Lust"
Seeing him struggle with his emotions, Sasuke was the one who made him realize he was in love with you.
" Hey dobe, I think Y/n likes Kiba."
"WHATTTT!!!WHO TOLD YOU?"
"But you said you love Sakura, so why are you worried?"
"NO I DON'T!!I LOVE Y/N!!" *silence* (thanks Sasuke)
He would always notice if you didn't have the usual sparkle in your eyes. Whenever that happened, he made sure to put cute little notes in your locker and notebooks. He would hide somewhere and watch you read them, and smile like an idiot seeing your face light up at the cheesy lines he had written in his messy handwriting.
As for Valentine's day, he would spend hours in the kitchen making chocolate for you. Then along with Sasuke, he would arrive at school like an hour earlier to get rid of all the piles of gifts in your locker( he sure is competitive)
"Yeah! Mine would be the best chocolate she has ever tasted!!!" Sasuke simply face palms.
Little did he know that he had accidentally added salt instead of sugar. Yikes. Cooking ain't your thing Naruto
At first he was worried that you would go after Sasuke like all the other girls. It was a pleasant surprise when he found out you weren't a fan girl.*breathes out in relief*
Just in case, he decided to warn Sasuke. " you keep your bunch of fangirls, but remember, Y/n is OFF LIMITS" "whatever dobe"
He stopped at nothing to impress you. He pushed himself to get better at studies. Over time, his grades improved.
When he didn't understand a concept he would rush to you with his books. He was glad that you weren't impatient like the others, but explained to him in simple ways you could.
A total sweetheart he is, it was impossible to hate him. But he could be annoying at times too.
Like when he doesn't see you for too long, he would be a whining, blubbering mess.
"Sakura, I want to se-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NARUTO SHUT UPPPP! I HAVE BEEN READING THE SAME SENTENCE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES!"
"BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN TWO DAYS!!
Sasuke: *changes seat*
Not to mention that he is really protective over you. If anybody tries to hurt you, well let's say that would be the end for that person. "Fight me!!"
Naruto was known to be the loud, hyperactive, sunshine of the school. But he immediately transforms into a timid puppy when you are near him.
Like Naruto would be talking and laughing with his friends and then he turns around and sees you -
*you lean closer to his face* I need to ask you ab-Naruto?
*Naruto has stopped functioning*
It wasn't hard for his friends to figure out the reason behind his strange behaviour lately.
They teased him about how oblivious you were to his feelings and if he didn't hurry up, someone would steal you from him.
But he didn't want to rush. Some people are worth waiting for. And of course he was worried if someone like you would go for a person like him. Please tell the poor guy otherwise.
Many boys came forward seeking to be your boyfriend, but you turned them down politely. That left Naruto with a bittersweet hope. It could or couldn't be him. But he won't give up on you like that. His life motto itself was- Never give up,no matter what!
In the brief occasions that you spoke to him would be the best part of his day. The whole world would blur and he could see only you, and hear your velvet like voice.
You were the only one who laughed at his stupid jokes. Oh how much he loved that smile you gave him, he would later replay it over and over in his head.
He would imagine taking you to his favourite restaurant, Ichiraku as a date. From his stories about you, Teuchi and Ayame couldn't wait to meet you.
When you touched him casually, his whole body would light up with a warmth that only you could ignite. That made him wonder how it would feel like to run his fingers through your silky hair, kiss your soft lips and then his whole face would turn as red as a tomato.
On his weekly visits to his parent's grave, he eagerly tells them about the beautiful girl that he recently met. He would tearfully tell them about finally meeting a girl as fascinating as his mother.
As the years passed his feelings never dulled. He fell for you more, your smile, your alluring eyes, your easy going personality and everything else about you.
However, he started to worry when the graduation was getting closer. He couldn't bear to lose you.
The thought caused him such pain that he lay awake for nights, and then finally deciding that it was the right time to let you know of his feelings.
After the graduation ceremony, Sasuke held a party at his house for the new graduates. As much as Naruto enjoyed spending time with his friends, his eyes kept darting across the room from time to time, in hopes of seeing you.
When he finally spotted you amidst the chaos and the tightly packed people,his heart skipped a beat. You looked so beautiful in that blue dress you wore, the coloured lights dancing across your skin adding to the effect.
With his eyes on you, he excused himself from his group of friends and all but hurried over to you, ignoring the laughter and cheers that erupted from behind him.
After saying that he needed to speak something important with you,he dragged you through the mass of people- keeping a firm grip on your wrist to prevent you from getting lost in the crowd- to the backyard.
He finally dropped your wrist when you both reached a secluded spot near a cluster of trees. The loud music and noises from the house was now a distant, faint hum to your ears.
He took a step back and stood facing you. It was hard to believe how tall he had become over the past few years. You had to tilt your head back to look at him in the eyes.
"I am sorry I had to drag you away so abruptly." He hoped that you wouldn't notice the faint quiver in his voice. He clenched and unclenched his hands.
You laughed quietly and waved off his queries " It's alright Naruto. I was planning to get away from all that noise anyway" you grinned at him, flashing your teeth. "In fact, you helped me."
Naruto tried his best to smile back hoping you wouldn't notice anything amiss. But when your smile slowly melted away from your lips,he understood that he didn't fool you.
He was looking at you warily, like he was anticipating something bad would happened. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were full of worry and hope and some intense emotion that you couldn't quite pinpoint.
"What's wrong Naruto?" You asked quietly. You raised a hand as if to touch his arm, but then let it drop. "You can tell me"
He ran his trembling fingers through his spiky blond hair-which looked almost silvery in the moonlight-and nervously glanced at you with his blue eyes.
While you stared back at him in confusion, he was having a mental argument with himself.
I can do this! She is waiting for you to say something Naruto!do it!!
"I..." He faltered. He looked at the ground and then up again, at you.
Here it goes..
" Are you dating Kiba?" There was brief pause.
You looked utterly baffled "HUH??!"
Damn what the hell is wrong with me?! He awkwardly shifted his weight from one leg to the other, looking bashful " I mean- you both hang out with each other a lot.."
You laughed " He is a good friend of mine, that's all"
"So you both-"
"Nope" You sounded amused, but not at all annoyed, despite the fact that he basically dragged you away to ask you such stupid questions.
"Okay" he said with fake cheerfulness, turning his back to you. "Thanks for the information, I better get back"
You caught his sleeve, making him go still. He turned to look at you, eyes still wide and cheeks tinted red, but they slowly melted away when he saw you gazing back at him almost sadly.
"Naruto" you said his name so softly that his stomach fluttered in response " that's not what you were meaning to say. We both know that."
He blinked.
You were right. What was he doing?!
It felt as if your voice had brought him back to his senses.
He remembered Jiraiya's advice from the morning. It felt as if the old man sensed what Naruto was planning to do. Instead of giving his usual pervy tips, he had said : "Letting her know of your feelings is the way to get to her heart. If you want to know if she returns your love, tell her."
Determination and hope flared in his eyes. He took a deep breath and stepped closer until you could feel the heat radiating from him. You swallowed and felt your cheeks getting warm.
He reached out and took both your hands gingerly in his and stared intently at you.
" Y/n I love you..I always have..."
He watched your eyes widen and lips part with surprise. He continued before you could say anything.
"I know you probably consider me to be foolish and naive, but I mean it when I say that I love you more than I could love myself. I wish I could explain to you how wonderful you are, how beautiful your eyes or how your voice gives me butterflies every single time. I love who I am with you. I.." He swallowed visibly, but his gaze on you never wavered. " I don't know how to explain love..But when I see you, I imagine the two of us cooking together, fighting together..being together. And I can't imagine anything that would make me happier. I would like to do these things with you. That is'' he smiled shyly, his cheeks turning pink " if you feel the same."
Your vision blurred as you felt tears brimming your eyes. "Naruto ..."
Naruto's smile vanished quickly. Did he upset you?! Oh crap.
He immediately let go of your hands and started to panic. He raked through his brain,thinking back over the words he had just used on you, trying desperately to find where he went wrong. He had never been in a position before where he had to comfort a crying girl. Once he had borrowed Sai's book on human behavior. If only he could remember..
"Y/n I am sorry-"
He stopped abrubtly when he felt your finger on his lips, signaling him to stop. You slowly withdrew them to place your hands on either side of his cheeks, thumb tracing the whisker like markings on his cheeks lightly. His eyes widened.
"Naruto..that was beautiful.." You said wonderingly, as if you had just woken up from a dream. "No one has ever said such lovely things to me." For a long moment you stared into his eyes,those lovely blue eyes that has always reminded you of the blue waves crashing against the shore- a feeling of peace and warmth and comfort. You could feel yourself getting lost in them. Naruto was still dazed. It was as if the roles were suddenly reversed. He was staring at you open mouthed while you smiled back at him adoringly.
"You are such an idiot Naruto" you teased, but the affection in your voice took the sting out of it "my idiot"
Your fingers were still stroking his cheeks, making it difficult for him to concentrate. He swallowed "W-what?"
A giggle escaped your lips "you cannot seriously think that I didn't notice your feelings all these years" your smile spoke of mischief now "and it was not one sided. Why did you wait for so long to come to me?"
Naruto was shell shocked. His heart was pounding so loudly that he thought that it would jump out. Is this a dream?
You finally stopped laughing and gazed at his blue orbs seriously. "Naruto" you said " I have struggled to make friends all throughout my life. When my parents decided to move to Konoha I was absolutely against it. Starting a new life.." You shook your head slowly " I didn't want that. But then you came along, my personal sun. With your bright smile and cheerful personality..who always tried to cheer me up. Who was always by my side..Slowly I felt myself taking a liking to this place.. And I felt myself falling for you.."
You heard his sharp intake of breath and smiled again "Naruto, I can't find the right words to explain how much you mean to me, but I would like to spend the rest of my life with you showing them. "
He felt tears sting the back of his eyes. He wanted to laugh, cry, curse himself for having waited for so long. He was almost mad with joy. But when he looked at you, he knew that you could see the emotion plainly written on his face. Because love required no language.
His lips curled up into a smile that lit up his whole face. You had seen him smile before, plenty of times, and yet this was different from the others. This smile was the most beautiful one you had ever seen, one that spoke of love and happiness and gratitude, a gesture that was too deep to be explained in words.
The uncertainty in his eyes were long gone, replaced with hope and love. He cupped your face in his large hands so gingerly that you shivered sightly.
"It feels like a dream" he said huskily, brushing a strand of hair from your face "being here with you like this."
"Then let me prove it tlo you that it's not"
You pulled him down by the collar of his shirt until your foreheads almost touched. Leaning in, you kissed both his cheeks, his eyelids, the tip of his nose, over and over again. Your other hand was pressed on his chest allowing you to feel his rapid heartbeat.
When your gaze finally fell on his lips, resting on them for a second, made Naruto impatient. He craved for your touch,the warmth that you provided. He had waited to do this for so long, he couldn't bear to waste any second longer.
So he leaned in closer and his lips finally met yours, moving gently against your own.
Warmth and desire exploded within him, and the world slowly disappeared from around the two of you. It was slow and soft and perfectly natural, like breathing and yet so intimate.
His calloused hands were gentle as they caressed your cheeks, his warm breath mingling with yours. His hands went to the nape of your neck and drew you even closer, thus deepening the kiss. Sparks flew within you, and you wrapped your hands around his shoulder in response , to eliminate the space between the two of you as much as possible.
He loved the way your lips fit with his like puzzle pieces, moving in perfect sync with his. His lips tasted like ramen, making you smile into the kiss.
When you both finally broke apart for air, he rested his forehead against yours, his warm breath hitting your cheeks. He was breathing hard like you, but his whole face was lit with joy, a smile so beautiful playing on his lips that you couldn't help but return it.
Your slender hands went around his waist, cheek resting against his sculpted chest, and listened to his hammering heart. Physically, he had changed a lot since the first time you met him. The childish roundness was long gone from his face. You could feel the solid hard muscle as you held him,the sharpness of his cheekbones,the callousness of his hands. And yet he was still the same. The same luminous blue eyes that sparkled even in the darkness,the same exuberant personality and that infectious smile.
For a while you both stood in each other's embrace, basked in the silvery moonlight with a wide grin plastered on both your faces.
"Thank you Naruto " and in those syllables he heard everything. He closed his eyes in content and hummed in response.
This was the love he'd waited for, hoped for. And now finally, he was home.
At last.
Mom, dad are you watching?
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deafchild2000 · 5 years
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AU H2O Friendship: Charlotte and Bella
(I don't want any crap about this alone. Free Speech can be practiced but no hate!)
If I had to think of a friendship from H2O that I'd like to have seen, it would be between Charlotte Watsford and Bella Hartley.
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(Yes, I am aware that for this to happen, Charlotte had to have stuck around and still be a mermaid for Bella to approach her, but this is an AU of itself!)
So why? Excellent question because at first, one would think they would be as opposite as Rikki and Emma were. But at second glance, if you dig deeper (and deploy better writing and character development), their friendship makes a lot of sense.
For starters, the two would have been their own separate group from the girls, power-wise:
Charlotte has the main 3: Freezing, Boiling and Manipulating/Creating water from an already existing source. Or in layman's terms, Charlotte can manipulate water in its 3 states of matter -Heat being Gas and Solid being Ice.
Bella's powers aren't in a matter of states, but thickness. Realistically, Bella has Viscosity Manipulation:
"The resistance of fluids to a change shape, influencing spraying, injection molding, and surface coating. In everyday terms (and for fluids only), viscosity is "thickness" or "internal friction", thus, water is "thin", having a lower viscosity, while honey is "thick", having a higher viscosity. Put simply, the less viscous the fluid is, the greater its ease of movement (fluidity). The user could make water thicker, making it harder for sea-life to survive or have honey pour out like water by making it thinner. " (from Superpower Wiki)
Therefore, Bella's powers allow her to make any liquid thick in anyway - thick enough to an ooz-like substance, hard enough to walk on, or causing it to explode (or attack).
So, in the best phrasing, both girls have their own sets of powers. And surprisingly, could use them in combinations if they wanted to: constructing paths while avoiding getting wet, creating attacks, creating items from molding and hardening, diversions and escapes to avoid exposure.... Basically, more than we ever saw on the show. And because their powers are so alike and different, it would avoid jealousy between them (especially on Charlotte's part, since she wouldn't feel like she had to compete).
Next, the friendship itself. What would it be like? Bella is mostly seen and notedly described as Bubbly, Caring and Attractive, but with her Status, she's doesn't let anyone get to close to her. In canon, it was Cleo and Rikki's - reckless - use of their powers that caught her attention, leading one to think she thought she was alone. Charlotte is Honest, Humorous (in her own way), and Strong-Willed. However, she is prone to Jealousy and Insensitivity, especially when feeling threatened or stressed.
As canon, we obviously saw Charlotte's worst traits at best and her best traits at worst (bad writing!) and Bella doesn't really stand up much for herself nor let it be known (debatable passive). So as friends, here's how I'd imagine it going down: (For Charlotte) Bella would be able to reach out to Charlotte in her worst moods and calm her down, encourages her to look closely at her actions and the consequences, inspire her immerse herself in her art, implore her to take in to regard of other people's feelings and accept that things won't always go her way/(For Bella) Charlotte would teach her to not be such a Pushover, to raise her voice, to take risks with relationships but call out when said relationships don't seem fair, provide honest opinions where others would rather flatter her, and tell her it's okay to be a little selfish in her life. But the main they both have in common (beside being the "4th" mermaid) is that, regardless of how it came to be, both girls know what it's like to be the outsider and will go out of their way to reassure each other that they're not alone anymore.
Lastly, they would become best friends because, unlike their Mako Mermaid counterparts, the Main Mermaid Trio would never have let them in.
(Y'all gonna think I'm bashing, but on this blog, I'll never be anything BUT honest regarding this!)
Take away the love triangles, legacies, durations and all that, let's tell the truth: Charlotte would have never been welcomed into the group. Not only were they waaayyy too closed off with anybody else aside their group (include boyfriends and exclude families), they had these two rigid yet nostalgic old people where were stuck in the glory days, back when they were young and happier, but disregarded why their group basically broke up (I mean, c'mon! They never even had families! They were still old geezers in the end!). "Only 3 Mermaids" statement only ended up being proven true because the girls (together and on their own) couldn't see past the idea that it didn't need to be "just three", choosing to follow the Past Gen's terrible examples . Max himself was in the wrong too for low-key encouraging Lewis that Cleo would always be the one for him - Basically my logic: If they are meant to last, let it happen on its own. Don't interfere! - and for leading Charlotte to gain and lose her tail, only indulging her because she was Gracie's granddaughter and inadvertly helping her loss only when her bad side became more apparent. Yes, she may be a lot like Gracie , but she has her flaws too. Basically, Season 2 was a mess of misinterpretations, past nalstogia, constant hypocrisy! Charlotte may have been in the wrong, but everyone else constituted to her downfall. Plus, Charlotte was realistic and straightforward on how she felt, having no problem of acting on it (like a certain fiery mermaid y'all like to praise....). Cleo, Rikki (and later Emma) were long ready to dismiss her before they even gave her approval or a chance. A chance they'd never give her, even as a legacy.
(If you by a feel I'm using the same arguments, sorry. As said before, I can't even talk about the second season without ranting!)
Moving forward, lets talk about Bella. For thise who believe they would have let Bella in, even if Emma hadn't left, bless your optimistic hearts. I might have said the same thing, but if the experience with Charlotte was still fresh in the mind, powers and lovers aside, the Ireland-made mermaid was better off if she kept walking when she first appeared. Let's play on the Comet still heading to earth: From 3x01, Bella would try to acknowledge the girls after the guy harassed her, they'd dismiss her. She'd try again at the bar named after Rikki, where they'd do it again until the Water Tentacle takes said mermaid away. Bella still stays to introduce herself, they'd thank her but dismiss her. 3 times would be enough for Bella to believe they'd want to be left alone. Why? Because the girls choose to only stick in 3s and Charlotte is still a fresh wound for them. Lewis might try to get them to befriend her, but they never listen to him anyways unless needed. Bella keeps her distance, the girls are stuck realizing a comet would destroy the world (and regarding the crystals, never wear them.) When comes time, either Emma or Cleo might realize Bella could help, but dismiss it as they'd thing 3 of them are enough to stop it. But Emma's powers can't hold hold the Tower of Light and the world does end. Why? Because they chose to be stuck in their ways and ignore the signs that Bella was meant to be with them for a reason. Yeah, this is all speculation on MY own take of how it would have went, that's beside the point. While it's nice to think Bella would have got a chance, in actuality, the only reason her spot was made was to secure the "Only 3" rule in Emma absence and you can't really deny it. Season 3 was an AU of its own where Bella's introduction all depended on timing and inconvenience on the Rikki and Cleo's part.
That being said, between the two mermaids, the H2O Trio would have never batted an eye at them, not unless they had too. And because of this, Charlotte and Bella would feel it was better to form their own group since they literally would have no one else to accept them.
All together, friendship between Charlotte Watsford and Bella Hartley is one friendship that I would have love to have seen and recognize as it's a friendship formed from loneliness and differences that set them apart from everyone else yet their do very personalities compliment each other and would bring out the best in them. Between their very different sets of powers, traits, interaction with the girls, they just might actually be what the other needed.
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Jac & Savannah
Jac: Feel totally free to ignore this, and this isn't an attempt to further any more conversation between us again if you don't want it, but it would feel bizarre to pretend...well, that we hadn't known each other before, or that I'd forgotten you entirely, so Jac: Obviously things weren't great when you left but I'm fully over that as no doubt you are too Jac: As we're classmates again, it makes sense to me that we are civil and prepared to work together if necessary but I'm not going to attempt more than that, nor am I holding some kind of grudge which would prohibit the former, I thought I'd reassure you of that, as well as just say, hello, I suppose 🙂 Savannah: You're right, it would be bizarre as well as counterproductive Savannah: though, we don't actually know each other any more, two formative years having passed, so I don't see why we can't start over Savannah: treating each other like we would our other classmates Jac: That sounds logical to me too Jac: I'd be happy to treat this as an introduction opposed to a reintroduction Savannah: okay Savannah: but before we do, I just want to say I'm really proud of you for getting in Jac: You too Jac: it's amazing, isn't it Jac: better than we had even visualized and worked and prayed for Savannah: I always knew you could do it Jac: I had no doubts about you, either Jac: potential that you'd changed your course and vision but whatever you put your mind and talent to Savannah: I did think you'd go to Bath, or that I would Jac: I could lie here and say something about preferring the history and culture of Edinburgh as a city, and finding St Andrews better in X Y Z but Jac: Bath didn't happen, is the reality of it Jac: but I'm not devastated, as I once would've been to be left with my 2nd choice Savannah: We don't have to lie, it didn't happen for me either, partly because catholic school did of course, but that's not the entirety of it Jac: I try to leave lying, however innocuous and pointless, two years ago, too Jac: Karma or otherwise, just stopped feeling worth it Jac: how was your new School? Savannah: A lot of things stopped feeling worth it to me too Savannah: Oh, Sienna liked it Savannah: I did not Jac: I am sorry to hear that Jac: I can't think of anything I would've liked less than being surrounded by other hormonal, crazy, moody, bitchy teenage girls either Savannah: at least she thrived, you wouldn't even recognise her now Savannah: she's so Savannah: Loud Jac: 😂 Jac: Loud can be good Jac: at least some positives came of it all Savannah: she reminds me of how I remember Jude Savannah: but she's happy, I think Jac: I think you'd still have recognized Jude Jac: likely from a mile off, giving you time to escape Jac: I hope she is Savannah: 😄 Jac: and that you'll be happier here than you were there, too Savannah: unless either of my parents enrol, we can take that as a given Jac: I'll drink to that Jac: complimentary coffee, that is Savannah: for now anyway Jac: Hopefully the plans get a little more exciting Savannah: 🙌 Jac: Have you heard any Psych school nights being organized or do you think one of us should bite that bullet and start the group chat? Savannah: we should do it Savannah: best foot forward, you know? Jac: Absolutely Jac: Why not, eh Jac: You're in halls too, right? Savannah: Yes Savannah: where are you? Jac: John Burnet, how about you? Savannah: You only get a single bed too! Savannah: I'm in University Hall Savannah: it's so pretty Jac: The nuns taught you well then 😛 Jac: I think it's worth it for the architecture, we'll just have to remember not to roll Savannah: 👼🏾🙏🏾 Savannah: It wasn't worth ANOTHER argument with my dad about co-ed Jac: and you get to have the Libraries literally right on your doorstep Jac: I was debating it, but I'm still better in smaller crowds, that sold JB to me ultimately Savannah: if my dad didn't run my life I totally would've applied there too Savannah: I love that it has a garden Jac: I know, right? Jac: Well you can use my little patch of 🌷 🌹 🌺 🌸 🌼 🌻 whenever you like, because I'll certainly be haunting the libraries enough Savannah: You haven't lost any of your sweetness Savannah: & of course you must, I hate studying alone Jac: I'll probably be tragically uncool forever, our classmates may as well find out sooner rather than later 💁 Jac: if the sight of all those books gets too much, there's always the 🏖 for maximum studying, I'm sure Savannah: No way! I had more fun with you than I've had with anyone else EVER Savannah: they'll find all your good points Jac: 😊 Jac: Okay, we did have some fun Savannah: a lot Jac: I can't/shan't disagree with that Savannah: it doesn't feel like two years Savannah: sometimes more like twenty, or like two months Jac: It is really weird, I felt like I haven't said it because it can't be overstated Jac: but good weird Jac: are any of your friends from Sligo here too? Jac: I don't know anyone Savannah: I don't know anyone either Jac: A familiar face is a good thing Jac: as is getting to know each other afresh, they can coexist Savannah: I thought it was for the best that nobody followed me here, until I saw you Jac: Shocking as it was Jac: glad the 😱 isn't permanent Jac: I'd hate to do that to you, honestly Savannah: you don't believe I could pull it off? Jac: Of course you could Jac: but your 😄 is undeniably a better look Savannah: my lips ARE very big, I could end up looking like a blow up doll if I'm forever open mouthed from today onwards Savannah: then I'd never marry a prince Jac: Why we're here, obviously Savannah: Everyone thinks so Savannah: just because my boyfriend dumped me after the leavers cert Jac: Oof Jac: that's rough Jac: though at least he didn't steal your Summer? I guess Savannah: Oh my god! That's exactly what he said Savannah: no wonder he reminded me of you Jac: Oh God 😬 are you suggesting I should be in Sallies with the rest of the fuckboys? 😂 Jac: not the crowd I was hoping to get in with but, you know Savannah: where you are is perfect for you Jac: 🤞 Savannah: it feels right being here Jac: Yeah Jac: it really does Savannah: I was worried I wouldn't feel that when I actually got here but 🙏🏾 Jac: I thought it'd be scarier being away from home Jac: but if anything, it's a relief Savannah: you don't have to share a room with Jude any more, it obviously would be Savannah: how is everyone though? Jac: 🍵🙊 Jac: No, they're good, all doing their own thing Jac: Jesse's got his music, the kids are the same old Jac: oh, Jameson got a girlfriend though, that's cute Savannah: I can't believe one brother is literally famous and the other is adorably loved up Savannah: Sienna hasn't had a boyfriend yet, I think that's my fault Jac: Honestly, they're both unbearable now 😏 Jac: overprotective big sister vibes or off-putting dumping ex? Savannah: Jesse was always an acquired taste, which I never did Savannah: Oh, both, for sure 🤫 Jac: Musically and personality-wise, he'd agree you have a point Jac: long as she's happy, like you said Jac: always found them too distracting myself Savannah: I suppose I just always needed a distraction Jac: Clearly, that's why we aren't having this conversation in Bath Jac: for the best, in the end 🌌🔮 Savannah: I hope so Jac: Honestly, it's a better uni Jac: and I'm not just lying to myself/you to make us feel better 😂 Jac: Delia Rockford, you remember her, right? Jac: She got into Bath, so, you aren't missing out, is what I mean Savannah: I hate her Jac: She's doing International Management and German Jac: the language of the future 🤨 Savannah: She's German descent! That's basically cheating Jac: You'd think she's got a place at Cambridge studying classics the way she's been bragging Jac: they aren't remotely top in languages or whatever the hell International Management is but alright 🙄 Savannah: I'm so glad she blocked me after what happened during the party at Michelle Brennan's house Savannah: which wasn't even my fault Jac: Now that feels like a million years ago Savannah: It was Savannah: I don't think we were even friends yet Jac: We weren't for that long, in the grand scheme of things Jac: that's the weirdest part Jac: we were pretty intense, yeah Savannah: everything was pretty intense Jac: It was Jac: Isabelle is doing coaching at TUD Jac: we were never really the same but she's well in herself Savannah: She'll be incredible at that Savannah: if it had happened to me, there's no way I would've not been retaking the year Jac: I know Savannah: did you hear about my mum? Jac: No, I don't think I did? Savannah: she'll appreciate it not being common knowledge, I guess Jac: Is she okay? Savannah: She's doing better now Savannah: which I suppose means she's at about the same level as she was before I left Savannah: because she really struggled after Jac: It must've been really hard for her Jac: to have you two gone, and realize it probably was for the best Jac: did you see her much, in these two years? Savannah: not as much as I should've Jac: You can't be blamed for that Jac: you had to take care of yourself, and Sienna Savannah: but she needed me to stay Jac: Maybe she needed to sort herself out Jac: and she's getting there Jac: our parents shouldn't be our responsibility Savannah: It has to work out here, you know? Savannah: I can't go back Jac: Of course it will Jac: you're going to be fine, amazing Jac: and then you can do your masters and your Ph.D. and then marry a prince and you'll have several royal residences, neither of which will be in Dubo or Sligo Savannah: I'm just sick of things being painful, difficult is fine, but I want it not to hurt Savannah: which is a HUGE overshare if we met today Jac: it's cool Jac: I hear everyone is best friends for life fresher's week Savannah: that makes me feel a lot better Savannah: especially when I pause to consider how many of them I'm likely to cry on before it's over Jac: It's basically tradition Jac: you won't be the only one Jac: moving forward, it's bound to make you think more about what you're leaving behind, even if temporarily Savannah: I've missed you Savannah: sorry if that's like leaping over a boundary or something Jac: I wouldn't have bet on that being what you said, should I ever see you again Jac: but it's better than what I would've Savannah: It's not like this with anyone else Savannah: I can't change that Jac: I never really Jac: like I went out, people would talk to me, I'm not trying to sell a sob story here Jac: but you're right Jac: it was never the same with anyone else, not remotely Savannah: I've given you mine already, so if you have one, it's okay to tell it or not Savannah: even if I'm so embarrassed I did that Jac: Seriously, no need Jac: you were there to witness my unfinest hour Jac: I treated lots of people like shit Jac: Is, mainly Jac: but you too, in lots of ways Jac: not proud of it, but I changed, still am, hopefully Savannah: I hope you don't change too much though Jac: Yeah? Savannah: I thought you were perfect how you were Jac: And I'm the sweet one Savannah: we both made mistakes, but that's human Jac: It's been a while since anyone's accused me of being human Jac: all those exams Jac: 🤖 felt more fitting Savannah: & you look so 👼🏻 Jac: You look as flawless as you ever did Savannah: My auntie mailed all her good skincare to Sligo Jac: expect no less 🙌 Savannah: the fresher air was 🙌 Savannah: even if the rural accents took me by surprise Jac: 😵 or 🥴 surprise though? Savannah: not like 😊 😋 😍 😘 🥰 Jac: the accent here is pretty 🤭 Jac: though Savannah: which one? 😄 Jac: Valid Jac: very town VS gown Savannah: which one though? Savannah: tell me Jac: The original Savannah: very Romeo & Juliet of you Jac: Oh no Jac: am I that cliche now? Savannah: we'll see Jac: Sounds slightly concerning Jac: but I'll do my best to subvert expectations Savannah: it'll be concerning if you get distracted by some boy's accent after working this hard to get here Savannah: unless he's a prince, obviously Jac: Not changed that much Jac: I'd get disowned if I married royalty, anyway Savannah: 🚫💍👰 Savannah: just adorable heirs to the throne Savannah: 👶👶👶👶👶 Jac: adorable, illegitimate bastards ❤ Savannah: yes Savannah: or is that another cliche? Jac: Probably Jac: although if we are educated, career women now, any babies is beating expectations Savannah: except not really because every career woman is also determined to become a mother & prove she can have it all Jac: 🚫👶 it is then Jac: maybe a dissertation topic, at any rate Savannah: 😢 Jac: 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 Jac: many as you like Savannah: they all need best friends Savannah: you have to stick to the plan Jac: Can I get through freshers first? Savannah: 🤞🏾 Jac: Please, I'm no amateur Savannah: I hope not, I'm single & the point is we do it at the same time Jac: as am I Jac: not feeling any 1st year that hard, thanks 😏 Savannah: you always date older, it's fine Jac: None of our lecturers were the one Jac: another cliche avoided Savannah: I'm not sad about that Jac: There's enough inequality of power about without actively seeking out the dynamic, agreed Savannah: ^^ Jac: the fashion show seems to have got the diversity memo though Jac: could be cool Savannah: it's going to be the highlight, I can feel it Jac: 😄 Jac: I was thinking Tues for our psych night, as nothing much is really going on Jac: what do you think? Savannah: good idea Jac: 👍 Savannah: I'll start the chat if you want Jac: You were always better at talking Savannah: when it's not that important, but when it matters, you always know exactly what to say Savannah: at least to me Jac: You're easy to talk to Jac: in a way I really could never work out Savannah: There's nobody in my life right now who would agreed with that Savannah: so it must be you Jac: my inbox full of unreads would say otherwise but Jac: I'll take it Savannah: okay, it's us together Savannah: does that make you happier? Jac: Better Savannah: your hair got really long Savannah: I'm BEYOND jealous Jac: You've got no reason to be jealous of any other girl in the world Savannah: you're not any other girl in the world Savannah: 🤫🤫 Jac: 😶 Jac: Promise Savannah: it looks beautiful, I can't cope Jac: My 😳 will not Savannah: 💗 Savannah: 🌷 🌺 🌸 Jac: Is that a dress code? Savannah: well NOW it is Jac: 😂 Jac: My wardrobe can accomodate Jac: cheers for the heads up Savannah: you're welcome Savannah: & we're all set until 💬 Jac: I better let you get on then Savannah: was it that good of a conversation starter? Jac: Solid Jac: will scare off anyone 😱 of 💗 🌷 🌺 🌸 Savannah: well I obviously don't need that negativity in my life Savannah: but I didn't mean to end this conversation Jac: We don't have to Jac: What are your plans for the rest of the day, now the obligatory are over? Savannah: don't judge me, because I know I sound like a different person, but I haven't made any Jac: Thank God, me neither Jac: I didn't know how long any of that would take Jac: nor unpacking, which is technically done but that says nothing about the decorating I wanna do Savannah: I could help Jac: Or, slightly more fair, we could check out the town, see what shops are about? Savannah: I'd like that Jac: Cool 🙂 Jac: let's have half an hour to debrief and make sure we don't look 😱 and then head out? Savannah: okay Savannah: you can put your hair up & save my life Jac: oh 🤫 Savannah: I am serious Savannah: 🚗 🚕 🚲 are distraction enough Jac: You could rock a cast Jac: but I won't let it happen Savannah: what would you write on it? Jac: That's a good 🧊breaker Jac: but I'll have to keep that secret for now Savannah: if I ask everyone on Tuesday, will you tell me then? Jac: It's a deal Savannah: it is
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Don't write fics when you're high
You can literally see when it hits me
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Dan and Phil were a package deal. You couldn't get one without the other. It had been that way for a number of years, and they wouldn't have it any other way. That is until 2012 rained down on them like a hail storm. It was also supposed to be the Mayan apocalypse, so perhaps constant fighting wasn't so terrible compared to the end of the world. Although there were some screaming matches that made Phil think otherwise. Before the horrible age of hatred turned its ugly head, they told each other everything: their fears, their insecurities, their weaknesses. Now, however, they were using those as ammunition. "Phil!" Dan screeched from his bedroom. Phil rolled his eyes and ignored his boyfriend. It was a wonder they hadn't broken up, yet, but not really. Deep down they both wanted this to pass and weren't ready to let go of their relationship. Dan marched to his room and swung the door open, letting it slam against the wall. "Phillip, what the fuck is this?!" Once again, he was ignored. It was a childish tactic, but it worked a forth of the time. Dan would yell a few times and eventually march off in frustration after getting no response. Unfortunately, this was not one of those times. Dan marched up to Phil and shoved his phone in front of his face. "Jesus Christ, Dan, I'm busy," Phil pushed the phone out of his view. "I haven't got time for whatever's got your briefs in a wad this time." "It's a picture of you with a hickey from 2009! And it's tagged with #phan proof. Now what have you got to say about that?" "I've seen that post. If anything, your reply is the real proof." He made it a point to not look up from his computer screen. Dan knew he was right. Had he not replied how he did back in '09, they could have thought the hickey was from anyone. Still, he was too frustrated to think rationally. He marched off, slamming the door shut and muttering curses. Phil groaned and rubbed his forehead. This was taking a serious toll on his mental state, well, both of their mental states. They were always stressed about little things, whether it be what to eat for dinner or which show to watch. It wasn't that they were actually stressed about those particular things, but they were deflecting the negative energy on smaller aspects of their lives. It was only ten at night, but Phil wanted to turn in early. At least in his dreams, the two were still together and happy. He found himself sleeping a lot lately: waking up later, going to sleep earlier, and napping throughout the day. It sure said a lot that he was happier unconscious. He shut down his laptop and went to brush his teeth. By the time he changed into his pajamas, he could hear Dan watching Buffy. Instinctively, he almost went to join him, but then he remembered. They were fighting. So he turned around and climbed into bed. Dan felt a little bad about the fight, and it plagued his thoughts as he tried to appreciate the romance between Tara and Willow. He should apologize. They'd been fighting nonstop and he couldn't help but to feel guilty. He clicked off the T.V. and went to Phil's room, the room that used to be both of theirs.
Softly, he rapped on the door. No response. He tried again a little louder. Nothing. "Hey, Philly?" When he went ignored once more, Dan assumed he was being ignored by his boyfriend. Was he even his boyfriend anymore? It was entirely unclear. They never officially broke up, so technically they were still together. God, Dan hated it when Phil gave him the cold shoulder. It made him feel like a child. He tried calling one more time, but he got no response. Little did he know that Phil was sound asleep. He managed to actually sleep for a full eleven hours. When he woke up at nine, he felt a bit more relaxed and at peace. It was still odd waking up alone after having Dan with him for years. It was especially annoying having to handle his morning wood all alone. In the past, Dan would be there to give him a quick handjob as he wasn't in the mood for full on sex and "a blowjob before brushing my teeth is going to have your cock smelling absolutely rank." He reached into his pajama bottoms and grabbed hold of his own prick. Dan always thought it was a bit odd that he didn't wear pants under his PJ's, but he definitely wouldn't complain either. The moment the thought of Dan entered his mind, he couldn't get him out. Dan. And his perfect body and amazing lips. God those lips, on his neck and around his cock. Phil slowly palmed himself, thinking about the way Dan reacted the first time he saw Phil naked. He actually fell silent and stared for a good twenty seconds before slowly reaching over and tentatively touching him. God that first time they were together. Dan made the prettiest noises. Phil stroked himself at a nice consistent pace, not bringing himself any closer to orgasm, but not teasing or edging himself. It felt good, but not as good as Dan. Sometimes he would get so proud of Phil and ride himself, like when he got the silver play button. They made love from dusk to dawn that night. Phil sped up slightly, remembering that. Then he heard something in the hallways. Instantly, Phil stopped and held his breath. A knock could be heard. "Phil, you up?" It was Dan. "Hey, could we talk?" Phil rolled his eyes and slowly began stroking himself again. He wasn't in the mood to get in another fight with Dan. Not completely sure why, he was oddly aroused by Dan being outside the door, completely unaware of what he was doing.
"Phil, c'mon, let's talk," Dan pleaded. He stayed silent and continued to masturbate. Perhaps this was a new kink of his. Either way, he fucked his hand and bit on his lip to avoid making any noises. His hand sped up when he heard Dan speak again. "Please don't shut me out." He flicked his wrist just the right way and threw his head back, eyes squeezed shut. He'd never gotten so close so quickly before. Phil shimmied off his pajama bottoms to have better access to, well, himself. It was getting hot in those trousers of his. The bed creaked as he took off his shirt as well and Dan heard it. "I know you're awake, Philly. You know I hate it when you ignore me, please don't do this. I'm sorry, okay?" Dan knocked on the door again, but Phil was too wrapped up in his own pleasure to care. God, his lover was right outside his door begging for forgiveness as he touched himself. Phil thought himself a pervert while grabbed the back of his own neck with his left hand and tried to control his breathing. He soon realizing he wasn't just holding onto his neck. No, he had reached a little lower and sunken his nails into the skin. He really was a freak. What could he say? Phil liked it rough, and so did Dan. After sex, they'd both be covered in bruises and scratch marks. "I don't wanna apologize to a door, Phil, please! Don't you wanna patch things up between us?" Dan asked desperately. "We've been in love for so long, don't throw that away. I love you." With that, Phil found himself cumming all over himself. That was always a thing for him, Dan telling him he loved him. "Fine then, if you don't even care enough to respond." Oh shit. He could hear Dan marching away. Phil got up and quickly stumbled around trying to put his pajama bottoms on in a haste, but by the time he did, he could hear the front door slam. Groaning, Phil went to the window in the main room to see if he could spot Dan. Sure enough, he was out there walking away. Phil was about to call him when he noticed the boy's phone on their coffee table. Phil waited by that stupid window for hours waiting for Dan. He really wanted to make things right. Dan had been mature enough to apologize, but Phil was too busy diddling himself. God, he felt like a moron for that. Then he spotted him. Dan was loitering around the front of their building, kicking a rock around. It seemed he didn't want to go in, so Phil grabbed a coat and ran out to meet him. When Dan saw him coming from the building, he huffed and leaned on a lamp post, refusing to look at him. "Dan, I'm sorry," he started. "I shouldn't have ignored you." "Then why did you? I've been stressing out all day about what it would take for you to forgive me." Dan looked at Phil. Choose your own adventure: (scroll down to your letter) A. "It doesn't matter why I did, I love you and you love me, and that's all that matters. B. "Because I was tooting my own horn." A. "It doesn't matter why I did, I love and you and you love me, and that's all that matters," Phil promised, taking a step towards Dan. Dan looked at him like he wasn't sure if he should trust him or not, but he did. Of course he did. He ran into Phil's arms and melted. "Can this be the end of our fighting? Please?" Phil pressed a soft kiss against Dan's forehead. "Of course, bear. Now let's get you inside." B. Phil looked at his boyfriend and sighed. "Because I was tooting my own horn." Dan frowned at his boyfriend in confusion. "You were bragging?" "Not exactly." Phil awkwardly began shifting from foot to foot. "My horn is my penis." The brunet stared at Phil in a mixture of both disbelief, disgust, relief, and another emotion that he couldn't quite identify. "You are so not that bendy," he finally said. "The day you self-suck is the day it snows in hell." Bleep bloop blop You guys I'm too high
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